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intricatedemonicrituals · 1 year

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Canon Destiel Timeline Masterpost

I wrote this all in a fugue state while listening to Green Grow the Lilacs on repeat so forgive any mistakes. @gay-fae ask and ye shall receive

So much has happened in the long and storied history of his fandom so I've decided to try to document it. I've started by looking up every time that canon destiel, destiel event, misha collins, jackles, or some other search terms have spiked on Google and cross referenced them with tumblr or twitter posts from that day. I know a lot of this is Misha stuff, but he does tend to be the one to say things

November 5th, 2020: Season 15, Episode 18 "Despair" airs and Castiel declares his love to Dean. The presidential election, Georgia turning blue, the presumed retirement of Vladamir Putin, Dabi from My Hero Academia, Ouran Host Club season 2, Sherlock season 5, the president of Bolivia being attacked with dynamite, ongoing BLM protests, a twitter artist making racist art of Ted Bundy, Hetalia returning, a dead man being elected Representative for North Dakota, V for Vendetta, scientists discovering a "hell" planet that rains rocks and has lava oceans, and half of Europe being in lockdown all became tumblr news around the same time. Some of these are true, some not.

November 8th, 2020: Misha Collins, in a panel with Richard Speight, states that the confession scene was a "declaration of homosexual love", and that when Castiel goes to the Empty, it is an example of the "Kill your gays" trope.

November 19th, 2020: The finale airs and it is not well loved to say the least. The episode is short, Dean dies by falling on a nail to death fighting vampire clowns, and there are several characters left with dangling unresolved plot threads and arcs, including Castiel. The car is in heaven though. There is very little heard from the cast and crew, if anything.

November 22nd, 2020: Misha Collins, in a livestream, tells a fan that Castiel and Jack are remaking heaven together, Cas has his wings back, and they are rainbow-colored. He had, however, mentioned the rainbow wings before.

November 24th, 2020: The Spanish dub of the confession is released and a "rogue" translator has written "Y yo a ti" or "I love you too" as Dean's response. Destiel goes canon in Spanish. Tumblr stops working as a result.

November 25th, 2020: tumblr user @thebloggerbloggerfun claims Jensen Ackles said "I had a member of the film crew record the confession scene on my phone for me" #unsourced #releasethetapes

November 26th, 2020: Misha doesn't appreciate the rogue translator, but walks that opinion back later the same day

November 27th, 2020: A "leaked" Italian dub of the confession scene shows a mutual confession.

November 28th, 2020: President Obama follows a destiel account on Twitter

November 30th, 2020: The supposed "Italian dub" is revealed as a fake created by user @iotiamo using sound clips from other parts of the Italian dub on show.

December 1st, 2020: Twitter user @mothdean says "misha I know you have a stan acc and spy on us so can we have a hazel update please"

December 3rd, 2020: Misha tweets about Hazel snoring and this is taken as possible confirmation of Misha's secret stan account

December 11th, 2020: A script from Cas's perspective leaks. It says "We see Cass's POV of Dean again - his face drawn, drained of hope. But still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester."

December 16th, 2020: Newsweek runs an article about an article that Misha wrote about the Lewinsky affair while interning in the Clinton White House in which Misha comes off as rather thirsty for Bill

December 20th, 2020: All Supernatural related materials disappear off the CW's website due to a copyright dispute with Warner Brothers

December 31st, 2020: Mishapocalypse redux

February 9th, 2021: Spn cast members Chad Lindberg and Samantha Ferris tweet about a party at the Roadhouse and it grows to become a full Destiel wedding

February 16th, 2021: @steveyockey made a fairly benign post about Jensen Ackles. The notes went wild in a variety of ways and started a rumor that Spn writer Steve Yockey was dead

February 20th, 2021: Steve Yockey is not dead and he should say it

March 3rd, 2021: The German dub drops and it is also romantic in tone

March 6-8th, 2021: A virtual con happens where Jensen discusses Chaos Machine and Jared says he wants to be in their next project. They also show that WAP video. Jensen is giving full mountain man preparing to play Soldier Boy.

March 10th, 2021: The French dub is released. Cas says, "I love you, Dean" and Dean now responds, "Don't do this to me, Castiel"

March 13th, 2021: The company Amazon tweets about Castiel and Misha Collins asks if they ship Deancas or Wincest. Subsequently apologizes.

March 16th, 2021: Misha says he can't speak as Castiel because Warner Brothers" specifically forbade it. #cwsniperconfirmed

March 17th, 2021: Sam and Eileen are getting married! I have no idea how this came about but I'm happy for them

March 23rd, 2021: Chad Lindberg and Samantha Ferris claim on Twitter that the Roadhouse party was about Valentine's day and not a wedding. Ferris specifically said that she worked on the show and that people tried to make Dean/Cas into "something that it wasn't", She also stated she doesn't "know what queerbaiting is" and that it was due to an "agenda". This led to #deanisbi trending on Twitter and Tumblr.

March 31st, 2021: Some possibly fake leaked scripts come up for sale on eBay. Also, Jensen is Batman.

April 1st, 2021: Mishapocalypse redux

April 6th, 2021: Leaked scripts from the 2 final episodes pop up and have several mentions of Cas in them that were omitted. Dean even thinks about Cas's confession when confronting Chuck.

April 18th, 2021: Scripts from seasons 12 and 13 leak. These include scenes from after Cas's death

May 17th, 2021: Jensen's band Radio Company releases an album including the song Watching Over Me

June ~5th, 2021: Misha says at a convention that Watching Over Me is about Castiel. Jensen neither confirms nor denies this when asked about it

June 11th, 2021: It is announced that Misha is publishing a book of poetry

June 18th, 2021: The Russian dub airs and Dean's line is changed to "Don't you dare, Cas"

June 24-28th, 2021: Jensen and Daneel Ackles reveal that they are making a Supernatural prequel series following John and Mary Winchester (a story that NOBODY was asking for). Jensen will reprise his role as Dean and will narrate. Misha hints that he would like to be involved, as do Ruthie Connell, Samantha Ferris, Matt Cohen, and Julie McNiven (the perils of having a cast of mostly immortal characters). But Jared Padalecki first says that he is happy for the Ackles's, he later said he was "gutted", then responded to Robbie Thompson's tweet calling him a "coward" and saying "what an awful thing you've done". The next day, Jensen and Jared both do damage control and say they'll always be brothers

July 17th, 2021: People are asking if Destiel will be canon in Space Jam, Misha's poetry book's cover is revealed to lukewarm reviews and people are talking about a particular poem about piss, and Perfume Genius releases an article that is a self-insert vore fanfiction about having sex with Jensen Ackles

August 2nd, 2021: Perfume Genius is at it again with "Last Friday, I had my eyes removed by Jared Padalecki". No, I do not know why she is doing this.

August 9th, 2021: Destiel fics hit 100k on Ao3. Misha tweets his support and people remember that he sometimes reads fanfiction and theorize he has an A03 account

September 1st, 2021: Misha makes his first Tiktok. There is a short intro before he calls cut, walks behind a screen, and strips his clothes off

September 3rd, 2021: Jake Abel uses Michael and Adam to help sell his hot sauce brand

September 4th, 2021: Misha confirms that the love between Castiel and Dean was "reciprocated"

September 9th, 2021: A clip of the real Italian dub of the confession scene goes viral as it is revealed that, unlike the Spanish dub, they change the line to "ti voglio bene" or essentially "I love you like family". Misha responds with a video saying "Ciao Italia, ti amo" with the subtitle "Love is love in any language"

September 21st, 2021: Misha drops the fact that one of his poems is from Castiel's perspective.

September 30th, 2021: Jensen will be appearing at a con on the same day as Misha and not with Jared for "professional reasons"

October 4th, 2021: Misha responds to a fan's tweet by saying that Jensen has "crazy eyes and a knife in his pocket"

October 10th, 2021: Daneel posts a picture of Jensen intently reading Misha's poetry book in front of a roaring fire on Instagram. Misha responds that he misses them even more

October 12th, 2021: Jensen is cast in Rust, a (rather ill-fated) western and Misha says "Yippie-ki-yay" and calls him a stud in the comments

October 16th, 2021: Denvercon. Jensen and Jared reunite for the first time since THE INCIDENT

April 24th, 2022: Misha Collins says in terms of being an extrovert, an introvert, or a bisexual, he joked "I'm all three". This led to the internet celebrating Misha's newly revealed bisexuality.

April 25th, 2022: Misha Collins comes out as straight. Oops!

June 19th, 2022: According to Misha, Dean's heaven was supposed to be at the Roadhouse with all his friends and Cas was going to be there with him

November 7th, 2022: Misha calls Elon Musk a snowflake

November 12th, 2022: Tumblr starts planning another Mishapocalypse

January 24th, 2023: Jensen and the cast of the Winchesters throw Dean Winchester a birthday party, including wearing silly little hats

February 26th, 2023: At JIBcon 11, Jensen sings an improvised song about an angel while Misha sits cross-legged on the floor looking up at him

April 1st, 2023: 10 year anniversary of the Mishapocalypse

April 16th, 2023: A year after his bisexual whoopsie daisy, Misha says that Warner Brothers asked him to "let it go" and keep pretending to be bisexual.

August 23, 2023: Rogue Spanish translator is revealed to not have gone rogue at all but instead to have followed the script he was given, confirming the existence of a mutual love confession that was cut at some point.

If you can remember any events and dates that I haven't found, please let me know and I'll add them! I haven't really rounded out 2022 and 2023 yet.

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bobbie-robron · 4 months

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Robron Fanfiction Recommendations (May-2024)

The below were recommended on Twitter during May 2024.

Love Me Blind (2019) 25.1K words, exploring_in_space

When Aaron was 17, he fell in love with Robert, his soulmate, over the summer. But then Chrissie found them and they split. Now, ten years later, Aaron is moving in with boyfriend Ed (a ‘comfortable’ relationship) into the Mill while Robert (not completely happy but happy enough) is a single father to Sebastian. When the two meet up again at a machinery convention, it doesn’t take long before Aaron initiates an affair while keeping Robert in the dark that he’s still very much still involved in all manner with his boyfriend. Oh, did I forget to mention that Aaron’s lapse in paying attention lead him to believe Sebastian is a dog? Something’s got to give and who will lose in the end?

All Over Again (2016) 4.5K words, Miss_Romance_Lover

It’s post-SSW2016 and the lads made it through alright but Aaron has a seizure while in hospital and now has lost a full year of his life. That means he doesn’t recall opening up about the vile one, his sister being back in his life and, most importantly, that he and Robert were happy and living together. As Chas and Robert are there to support Aaron as his memories gradually begin to return, in the end it’s about Aaron falling for Robert who he is now.

Skins and Torrents (2019) 20.0K words, Illgetmerope

Aaron left the village not only to escape the Dingle name but to be close to the ocean… becoming a fisherman. He keeps to himself and pretty much is on his own but then a freckled seal starts to stay very close when he’s out on his boat to retrieve his catches and begins to enjoy seeing the animal. Soon after, a freckled blonde shows up with eyes for Aaron and there is a connection. But when Robert disappears after their night together, all good feelings are gone. Oh, there’s this legends about selkies that Sarah tells Aaron but he brushes it off until he realizes there may be truth in it after all…

Behind the Bar (2015) 3.2K words, robronsugsy

Diane and Doug have plans to go out and Chas is feeling under the weather. What shall become of the bar for the evening? Well… Robert volunteers himself and Aaron to cover for them! How will they do I wonder 🤔?

May to December (2017) 23.6K words, Activeimagination

Hell year was a disaster and hard to watch, if at all, most times. Here, we get a different take of the lads’ breakup but with major differences. There is no OTT ad nauseam plotting by Robert, Doc Dulliard does not exist and Chas/Liv aren’t trying to make Aaron prove to THEM he’s over Robert. Instead, we focus on the lads individually as they try to cope with their breakup via regular counseling for Aaron and the bottle being Robert’s best friend but all roads lead them back together before December.

Something wretched about this (something so precious about this) (2016) 2.9K words, Port_in_a_Storm

It’s post Aaron finding about Andy being behind Robert’s shooting. With Robert mentioning how Aaron wanted him dead at one point, he begins to question whether Aaron still has some of those residual feelings especially since he has not said the L word since they got back together. Time for a chat to clear the air.

And You Are? series (2016) 11.3K words, brangelina_of_the_gallaghers

A series of eight stories that take place in 2010 when Robert (23) returns on the day of Sarah’s birthday and it’s Aaron (19) who he runs into first. And right from that first night they get together and decides on being friends with benefits. Each story focuses on the usual suspects one by one finding out about them as the pair continue to get together but do not admit there are emotions involved until the end.

Down by the Sea (2016) 4.0K words, MonkeyLuv

Robert, Aaron and Liv go off on a trip to Wales that Aaron hopes will brings some Robert and Liv bonding. Well, when you have nicknames tossed about, Taylor Swift blaring, the beach and pesky hair gel (along with a wee bit of Adele in 2016 🥺), how could they not all get along better by the time they head back home?

#robron #robron fanfiction #robron fanfiction recommendations #robron fanfic monday #202405

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p7agu3 · 11 months

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transfem neviro fic

some ppl on discord liked this, so i'm posting it here now. it's a draft with some unfinished bits lopped off. enjoy!

btw, maxwell is player but more insane: a cannon fist wind warlock assassin

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The Sun shines brightly over the blue waters of the Bronze Sea. Aboard an unassuming ketch, a group of distinctive idiots sit: a curse thief, dressed in dark thick clothing entirely inappropriate to the moderate climate, a fiery mage, the only woman in the group, a… regular man, dressed in a suit of chain-mail armor, and the somehow captain, wearing the frankly quite lame uniform of an Assassin acolyte. Beside them stand an old alchemist and a Navy deserter, watching their conversation with a sort of silent, exasperated intrigue.

“I’m telling you, this will be great!” Maxwell insists, grinning brightly with a touch of madness. He thinks ‘funny’ and ‘great’ are synonyms. “Team bonding! We’ll all get to know each other so much better!!”

Neviro raises a skeptical eyebrow. “How will exchanging our clothes make us ‘know each other’ better? I don’t see how that makes any sense-” Maxwell slaps a hand over the prince’s mouth with the force of a man who casually wields cannonballs. It knocks Neviro clean over, but I assure you that he is completely fine.

“Team bonding!!!!!” The madness has totally taken over the warlock’s grin. Everyone in the vicinity shivers slightly, and acquiesces to his atypical but acceptable demands.

Skipping over to Enizor, he gently borrows the alchemist’s overlarge hat. “Everyone will be participating!” The no-name acolytes he picked up in Whitesummit perk up excitedly. “..oh, I’m so sorry, guys. Not you, it might get kinda boring if there’s like ten of the same outfit…” They droop down again, saddened. “Look, I promise I’ll steal a seafood buffet from my lawful good shadow self later, okay? They’ll never see it coming and we’ll become even better criminals for it!” Cheers and brief applause can be heard before the crew goes back to manning the ketch. They kind of have to do everything. Maxwell doesn’t know jack about sailing and Edward is always being dragged into his shenanigans. At least it’s not a totally thankless job.

An empty notebook’s page is reduced to shreds of paper for the activity, and the names are dropped into Enizor’s hat, which is shaken around. “Who wants to pick first?” Maxwell asks, excitedly.

For a long moment, no one volunteers. Finally, Edward, loyal to a fault, decides to take the blow. “I’ll bite, Captain.” He sinks his hand into the hat, rummaging around through the scraps. One of them gets pinched between his weathered fingers.

“‘Maxwell..’” Edward reads.

“Huh? What’s wrong?” The said warlock looks at him, confused.

“That’s the name I picked up. Seems we’re going to-” His calm words are cut off by Maxwell suddenly squealing excitedly and dragging him below deck. Edward’s expression is one of resigned horror as he disappears into the darkness.

“Should we run before it’s too late?” Iris asks, feeling somewhat unsettled at the thought of Enizor potentially wearing her clothes.

Morden shakes his head sadly. “He’d catch us. You can’t stop Max when he gets like this, it’s like trying to stop a ship mid-ram. Sometimes you can dodge it, but if it’s determined enough you won’t be free until one or both of you is at the bottom of the ocean.”

“Shall we determine the next pair?” Enizor asks with his crusty old man voice.

With a deep sigh, Morden steps forward and picks a name out of the hat. “‘Enizor’... Oh, for fuck’s sake…”

“Language!” The boomer chides him. “But I don’t believe this will be too terrible. I did have a, oh, what is it called? A ‘goth phase’? The style is not unfamiliar to me, I’m certain we’ll be fine.”

Morden groans horribly again. He looks at Iris and Neviro. “I guess you two will be swapping clothes too, huh? Let’s just. Do this.”

The other two reluctantly nod and begin to descend.

Below deck, Edward and Maxwell are staring at each other’s top surgery scars.

“OMG, you’re trans of gender!!!” Max shouts excitedly. He’s absolutely thrilled.

“When the hell did you get top surgery??!?” Edward asks, confused and baffled. Based on what he knows about Maxwell’s life, there’s literally no fucking way.

“I don’t know!” He’s so happy that Edward doesn’t dare to bring down the mood. The quartermaster tries to shrug casually and accepts the acolyte uniform from his half-dressed captain, (they’re both wearing a towel around the waist and that’s it) handing him the battered Navy uniform that they reclaimed from Silverhold so long ago.

Maxwell skips off into a side room to change, leaving Edward to make heads or tails of the red scarf. The rest of the uniform is simple enough, just a sleeveless buttoned shirt and black pants. Unfortunately, it seems to be a little too small. His chest seems to be straining against the buttons of the shirt, but the stitching holds strong, even as Edward takes a deep breath in. Perhaps he should give the Assassins a little more credit for their clothing quality..

It feels odd to just have his arms out like this. He’s not particularly built, and he’s admittedly gotten a bit soft around the edges since his desertion. Somewhat nervously, he adjusts the scarf so it sits less awkwardly around his neck.

He looks in the mirror. Oh, this is quite alright, actually. It’s not a bad outfit. A bit plain, definitely, and it certainly is a bit tight, but he can live with this for a day or so. That.. that is how long Maxwell is going to make this go on, right?

Stepping back out onto the deck of the ship, Edward blinks in the sudden brightness of the day. To his astonishment, Maxwell wolf-whistles at him, pointing and laughing excitedly at Edward’s arms. It’d be kind of flattering if this wasn’t the same teenager who keeled over and fainted when Morden took his shirt off last week. The Death Curse user barely has any decent chest hair, Maxwell’s standards are far too low.

The Navy uniform looks pretty natural on the warlock. Perhaps it’s because Edward got used to seeing him in Navy blue before he joined the Syndicate. For some reason Maxwell had made a habit of constantly wearing the color. He twirls a gun, clearly not knowing how to use it, and shoots a hole in one of the sails before fumbling with reloading it. Edward sighs and takes both holsters from him, clipping them onto the Assassin uniform. Best not to trust him with weapons, that rarely ends well.

Behind him, Enizor emerges, wearing Morden’s outfit. “This is a bit thick for the weather, isn’t it?” He remarks. The dark clothing and bandanna really accentuate his baldness.

“Oh, says the guy who wears THREE layers of robes?” Morden argues, almost tripping over the hem of Enizor’s robes as he stumbles out onto the deck. “How can you even see out of this thing?” He gestures angrily towards the hat’s brim.

“It takes decades of experience, boy.” Enizor chides. “Perhaps if you trained in the arts of alchemy you would understand. Also, you need to eat more, it’s clearly stunting your growth.”

Morden looks extremely irritated and bares his teeth at Enizor. He looks like he’s about to growl at him, honestly. Edward wonders if biting is on the table.

“Aw, I think the hat looks cute on you!” Maxwell tries to placate Morden. “The rest of the outfit is kinda a lost cause, though.” Edward nods in agreement, and Enizor looks crestfallen.

“None of you are old enough to appreciate the intricacies of classical alchemist dress.” Enizor crosses his arms, looking snooty. “You’ll come around in a few decades.”

Collapsing into a mopey, overheated pile of robes, Morden leans back against the ship’s railing. “What’s taking the last two so long?”

“Beats me. Should I go check on them?” Maxwell seems unenthusiastic about the idea.

Before he can say another word, though, Iris appears, donning Neviro’s chainmail and the set of iron armor they bought for him recently. “This is really heavy..” she puffs, leaning on the railing beside Morden to catch her breath.

“Wow! You look great!” Maxwell skips over to her and helps her get her hair out of the back of the armor. “Like, you actually pull off the look! Unlike Neviro. Um, don’t tell him I said that. Where is he, anyway?”

Back in the temporary changing room, Neviro is just. Staring.

Staring at his reflection.

He’s wearing Iris’ jacket, skirt, and pants. It’s a pretty normal outfit, as far as outfits go. While he’s not in the habit of wearing skirts, he thought it would be something he could just laugh off later, since everyone else was very nonchalant about the whole clothes swapping thing.

But this is.. Weird. He feels weird. He can’t stop looking at himself.

Why does this look so.. right?

He knows he looks good. But this is something deeper. This.. this is making something resonate deep inside of himself, and he’s not sure what to make of it.

Someone knocks on the door and he pulls himself away from the mirror. He needs to stop being weird about this. It’s just a skirt. Just a piece of fabric. He can be normal about it.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” Edward asks through the door, his voice muffled but slightly worried. “Is this making you uncomfortable? We can call it off, it’s fine, I can handle Maxwell."

Neviro steals another glance at the mirror.

He doesn't feel uncomfortable. He feels like something he's been missing for his whole life has just been handed to him.

"I'm fine.." he says, trying to push down the emotions swirling in his stomach. He opens the door and smiles at Edward. His heart is pounding in his chest.

"Well." Edward says, sounding a bit concerned still. "You look very pretty. If you're alright with me calling you that." He looks away and scratches his neck. "The red really brings out your eyes."

Oh. Neviro feels his face turning red as well, and he covers it with his hands, trying to compose himself before going back above deck. Edward laughs softly. "C'mon, princess. The others are waiting for you."

It's just affectionate teasing. He knows this. But it doesn't stop his heart from pounding, or his body from suddenly feeling lighter. Once again, that feeling of strange happiness makes itself known, and he wonders what's wrong with him, that just a single word could elicit such a reaction.

When the sunlight shines down upon him once more, he expects them to tease him, maybe comment on how silly it looks for him to be wearing a little skirt. Instead, they all have similar reactions to Edward.

"Oh damn, you should really get out of that chainmail more! You're so cute!" Maxwell is bouncing around exuberantly, seemingly ecstatic that his activity was a success. He twirls Edward's cutlass around like a baton, prompting the quartermaster to chase him down and confiscate it.

"The red suits you." Enizor comments, pulling the bandanna down to speak in a move that might have been badass if his head wasn't bald and shiny with sweat.

"It really does," Iris agrees, to Neviro's surprise. "Maybe we should get you a jacket like that in the next town?"

"Oh, there's no need," he insists, feeling very flustered. Even if he might want one, he has enough clothes already. Plain, boring, mostly tasteless clothes, but enough to wear.

The skirt rustles around his legs in the sea breeze. He doesn't think about what it might be like to wear one regularly.

"Well," Morden says, getting up from his sitting position. "Does this mean we're finally done 'bonding'?" He looks somewhat relieved at the prospect.

Neviro feels a pang of disappointment. No. Stop that. These are Iris' clothes, he knew he'd have to return them eventually.

Thankfully, Maxwell has other ideas. "No, of course not! Now that I am dressed appropriately, we must make haste for Silverhold! I will visit my father!"

"Oh no," Edward mutters, slapping his hand to his forehead. "Not this again.."

"Max, we've been over this!" Morden protests. "The Commodore is not your father! You're an orphan, that's how the Order got you in the first place!"

"Family is who you choose!" Maxwell argues back. "And mine includes them and not you!" His voice softens into something more playful. "Mostly 'cause it'd make kissing you weird if you were part of it."

"Gah!" Morden throws his hands up exasperatedly and heads below deck, cheeks burning almost as red as Neviro's. There seems to be a whole lot of blushing today. As he descends, he calls back at Maxwell. "You won't be seeing a speck of Death magic during your raid, I assure you of that!"

"Good!" retorts Maxwell. "It's too early for you to meet my parents anyway!"

Silence hangs over the ship for a moment.

"Wow." says Iris. "That was certainly something." Her borrowed armor clanks as she scratches her neck. "So.. off to Silverhold, now?"

"Yeah, let's go." Maxwell huffs, signaling the crew to open sail towards the naval base.

Neviro stands by the ship's railing, feeling the wind rustle his– not his, Iris', why does he have to remind himself of that?-- skirt. He feels a bit lightheaded from all the compliments. The occasional spray of seawater doesn't do much to distract him from his boiling thoughts.

"You really do look nice." Iris tells him, clanking over to stand by his side. "It seriously looks a lot better than most of your 'outfits', if they can even be called that." She laughs lightheartedly. "Maybe you should let me do your clothes shopping?"

His heart flutters at the offer, and he has to bite back the 'yes' on his lips. It's just a joke. Just a joke. Stop being weird, Neviro. "Haha," Gods, that sounded so forced. "I'm alright. Thanks."

She seems slightly concerned about his stiffness, but seemingly brushes it off as him being a bit embarrassed. He's not sure how to describe how he feels about the offer anyway.

On the other side of the ship, Maxwell has pulled Edward aside, using his magic to make a very obnoxious whooshing noise that obscures their conversation. The warlock grips his quartermaster severely. "Edwar," he insists, so intensely focused that he forgets the last consonant. "My egg detector is off the chart."

Edward nods solemnly. "Yes, I do believe I am feeling a slight sense of 'egg' as well, Captain. What shall we do about it?"

Maxwell thumps his fist into his hand aggressively. "I'm going to talk to them about it."

"...respectfully, Captain, I think you should let Iris handle this one."

"Damn." Maxwell considers this. "You're probably right," He concedes, after a minute of thought. "I am Not Good at the whole delicate emotions thing."

"Neviro," Iris asks, after a minute of silence (and loud wind noises, wtf Maxwell?). "What are you thinking about? You seem stiff. More stiff than usual, I mean."

The lost prince jolts in surprise at the question. She's right, he has been feeling rather tense, lost in conflicting thoughts brought on by the stupid outfit he's wearing. He groans and rubs his forehead. He's a terrible liar, but he doesn't want to worry her over something so trivial. Even if it's kind of weird.

"Thinking about this, I guess." He gestures at the skirt and jacket. "The whole 'wearing a skirt' thing."

She frowns worriedly. "Is it bothering you? This whole thing was meant to be harmless fun, you can take it off now if you-"

"No!" The denial spills from his lips before he can stop it. He covers his mouth for a second, mortified. "I- I mean, it's really not bothering me. I promise." His face is turning red again, he can feel it.

"Oh, so you like it?" She sounds slightly amused, but not mocking. Not cruel. Just curious. He's not sure how to feel about that.

"Y-yeah. I guess." He can barely look at her. It feels shameful to admit. He's a prince, he's not supposed to like flouncing about in dresses and skirts and things.

Iris looks off into the distance, where Silverhold is slowly approaching. "Can I ask you a question? It might be kind of.. invasive, I guess. So you don't have to answer it."

"..." He's not sure what she's about to ask. But he doesn't feel too worried. She's one of the closest friends he's had in his life. "Go ahead?"

"Are you… not a boy, Neviro?" The question throws him for a loop. His first instinct is to respond with a resounding 'no', since of course he's male, he's the prince of Winterveil for gods' sake, everyone knows that. But.. he thinks. And suddenly he's not so sure.

"I.. I…" For once he's lost for words. His fingers clench in the fabric of his skirt. Has he ever really felt like a man? He feels suddenly confused and a bit scared. Is.. is he crying? He can't– shouldn't be crying right now.

"Hey, it's okay, calm down.." Iris' hands rub his back, warm even through the chainmail. "I get it, this gender stuff is confusing. But you're not alone, you've got me and Morden and Edward and Maxwell. We get it. We'll always have your back."

He sniffles. "Thanks.." A part of himself that he'd taken for granted has just been.. ripped away. No, not that, it was just.. always wrong. Chafing on the edge of his consciousness. Now it's hanging loose, and he…

She's not a 'he'. It feels oddly freeing to think that, to place something new in that empty void. A bubble of happiness rises up through her body. This.. this feels better. Feels right. She's a girl. Maybe she's always been one.

Iris lets her go and takes a step back. "Are you feeling better?"

She nods. "Yeah. A lot better."

The anomaly smiles. "Glad to hear it. So, what are your preferred pronouns?"

"...she/her." It feels a little odd to say it, but also extremely freeing. Iris smiles.

"I'm guessing this is the first time you really realized this, huh?" She nods again. "Alright, yeah. So what should we call you? I'm guessing you probably don't wanna still be called 'Neviro'?"

Maybe. But that's really the only name she's ever known, and she doesn't have any new names ready. She shrugs, feeling a little too emotionally drained to talk.

"Ah, right, you probably haven't thought about it. Hm," Iris scratches her chin in thought. "Can we call you 'Nevi'? I get you might wanna pick a different name later, but it's a little less–"

She tackles Iris into a hug, making a racket when the metal armor crashes into the railing. "Yes," she whispers. "Yes, yes, thank you so much, Iris.."

"No problem." Iris ruffles her hair with a knowing grin. "Just girls helping girls, right?"

"Stop the boat!" yells Maxwell, already making for the edge of the ship. The sound of cannons firing can be heard from Silverhold, but Edward has calculated the distance properly– the ship is just out of range. Before long the girls can hear his deranged yelling, and the terrified screams of Navy marines.

Edward follows Maxwell off the ship, perhaps hoping to spare the lives of some relatively innocent marines. And drag him away from the Commodore before Maxwell's bizarrely trusting side can make a reappearance and get him recruited into the Navy.

#arcane odyssey #fanfic #fanfiction #neviro #crackfic kinda #every ao character is trans this is real vetex told me

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necroangelz · 7 months

Note

bored, so gunna do yur ask game... 💌 and/or 🫀 pwease.^⁠_⁠^^⁠_⁠^ hru today btw! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

help this has been in my inbox for a few days oops im so sorry... i drafted up the first half of this post last friday but i forgot to continue it and i had no energy... anyways

as of right now i havent been that great, my mood swings r going crazy and im stressed over a test tomorrow, although i did a lot of thrifting on friday and saturday and bought lots of nice stuff! i'll post my entire .. "thrifting haul" when i feel like it...

emoji answers below! i decided to answer both. my answer for the heart emoji is very... long.......... but what do uu expect from an infodump?

『 💌 』

a quote or song lyric

muse just realized on muses pinned post it says "song" instead of "song lyric" erm... it's supposed to be song lyric help anyway

“ Come then, and let us pass a leisure hour in storytelling, and our story shall be the education of our heroes. ” -Plato, Republic Book II

wow, look at the intellectual internet angel, quoting Plato /s the quote is also referenced in the secret history by Donna Tartt (hir latest obsession) at the very beginning of the book ^_^ shi doesn't really know what to say, shi just really really likes this quote! shi likes very grand lines like this—the way that a simple leisure story can become an influence to the next generation of great heroes... there's something so alluring about it.

『 🫀 』

a game i played + an infodump

the free visual novel cemetery mary by arcadekitten! i really love cemetery mary and i can go on about it for hours, which is why i'll keep this infodump short bc i might just be typing here for hours and i wont get any sleep.

it's about a girl named mary anta (design is based on a manta ray), whose parents had mysteriously vanished without a trace one day. there's rumors of a killer in her city, called the blackwood butcher, and she suspects that her parents disappeared because of the butcher. she also texts a 'mysterious number' that claims her parents are alive and well.

she may look scary in the title screen but don't be fooled! she's a sweet and soft girl who simply has darker interests (such as the concept of death and cemeteries, as the title suggests).

here's mary hanging out with the other characters—crowven, twyla, and reginald. the player can pursue a route with any of these characters where mary will hang out with them and get closer to them. each route has a vastly different story and even genre/theme, and they lead to their own good and bad endings. i feel like it's easy to get the bad endings at first though... and they can get veeerrryyy VERY fucked up. there is also a true ending which is very entertaining and mysterious but leads to a happy ending.

i have about 42 hours in the game. yeah i got very obsessed with it... i like visual novels a lot and despite the occasional fucked up moments i enjoy CM because it's very chill and the characters are written well. and there's just something about how the game is designed that scratches my brain.

i got introduced to the game by a friend 2-ish years ago. we don't talk anymore but i liked that friend a lot... i didn't start playing CM until a few months later though

also just look at mary rn. SHE'S SO SILLY AAAHH I LOVE HER how can one not adoooreee her?????/

anyway let me just speedrun describing the 3 route characters rn

too lazy to find a better photo of him rn—this is crowven corvuson, design is based on a crow, and he's mary's cousin. except they're not blood related but they see each other as family. i don't interact with the fandom but i can imagine the discourse they would have about crowven and mary.

crowven is emo, moody, smokes weed, and has anger issues. his parents are dead. he lives together with mary. he gets up to secret business.

AAAAAHHH EHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE this is twyla sophio, design based on an owl, this isn't her main "look" though, this is her outfit for a party. she's filthy rich, she's toxic, she's manipulative, and she's relentless to uncover the identity of the blackwood butcher. she also has some kind of rivalry with crowven (apparently it's accurate to nature where owls and crows have beef irl)

i am very very very in love with twyla in a normal way and i ship her and mary together

lastly, reginald tetra, design based on a pufferfish. this also isn't his main look, but he's so handsome here. i don't really like him that much but there's some certain scenes that make me like him...

he's your local average guy. he's so average. he's so normal. there's nothing wrong with him. i swear

he also has a littol tiny crush on mary :3 they develop a nice bond

ok thats it infodump over

#🎮﹕ press start 𝜗𝜚 ︵

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tagalongifyoudare · 2 years

Note

Hi, the ending of episode 5 of season 2 made me think about your fic.

The chapter from Simon's POV when he ask "can you kiss me before we come back to not touching each other?"

The situation is different but the feelings seems similar for Simon. They are not together yet. He decided to go to the police and they both don't know what will happen to them. He wants Wille so much and at the same time it may be the last time they are with each other like that. When he'll report about August everything may change. The aftermath can tear them apart again.

HI DARLING!!!!

Your new profile pic is fantastic!!

This comment is A LOT, like so much, so THANK YOU. I am currently buzzing with a weird sense of adrenaline and just a lot of emotions over it. I haven't posted anything about Season 2 yet; still just living in my rewatching, processing, thinking bubble 🫀 That being said, this is just so much, I needed to reply before I go back to said bubble 🫀🫀 I don't feel ready for a proper analysis, so I shall just leave you with some initial thoughts/ramblings about this scene. (And how truly fitting that my first Season 2 post will be this one 😂)!

When I was writing the fic, I wanted to try and capture how I thought they would be feeling in Season 2. Watching this Season was honestly a completely different experience for me because of writing this fic. It felt like I knew them differently then I did before, I felt like I understood why they were doing what they were doing in a different way; it has been a very interesting, weird and very much still on going experience. I will no doubt have lots more thought about this in the future too 😂

I really wanted to capture Simons longing, his understanding that nothing had really changed, and his choice to allow himself a possible final moment with Wille; it's depiction in this season was so beautiful, and perfect and breathtaking!!! I am honored and blown away that something I wrote felt similar to Simons feelings in this season for you, and for it to be this part; I just.... it is so much, so THANK YOU 🫀🫀🫀

I could talk about this season and scene forever (and probably will), so since your ask references Simon, I will try to talk about this scene from his perspective. Omar was next level this Season (as was Edvin) like I didn't think they could get better, and yet, somehow they did 🤷🏽‍♀️

This scene (and everything leading up to it) is PERFECTION to me 🫀 At this point, Simon has not decided he is willing to be a secret; for him, this really might be the end, and yet, this time, he knows that going in and he chooses to allow himself this moment, this experience, this memory.

Something that I think is very significant about this final scene is how this episode leads up to it; for now I will just discuss the initial scene. Simon is burying his face in Willes sweater, he is smelling him, remembering their kiss, delighting in Wille, yearning for Wille. He bites his lip, he places the sweater in his lap, he looks at the fish and then back to the sweater and then at himself in the mirror. Simon wants Wille, he longs for him and yet, nothing has changed. Throughout this episode we see him struggling with himself over his desire for Wille; every scene Simon is experiencing an almost completely different set of emotions in regards to Wille, culminating in this final perfect scene.

Simon says he is going to go to the police and Wille just disappears; Simon asks him if he is mad at him and receives no response. Simon goes to see Wille, having no idea what to expect. He doesn't know if Wille is going to try to stop him, if they are going to fight, if Wille thinks Simon is trying to hurt him (as he says to Wille later); Wille apologizes and invites him in. The significance of Wille inviting Simon in to his room, and closing the door, while people are walking past is just everything 🫀

Wille tells Simon exactly how he is feeling, which is what Simon asked of him in Ep 1. Wille isn't hurt, he isn't trying to stop Simon, he is in this with Simon and he is honest about being scared. This conversation is so beautiful; the honesty, the fear, the love. It is so apparent how much they don't want to hurt each other, and feel like they keep doing just that.

Wille reaches out, he seeks comfort in Simon, while still asking what Simon wants, no longer assuming that Simon will want the same things he wants. It is the way Simon strokes Willes hand, the way that they fall into the hug; as if they are seeking reassurance and comfort, and then it becomes tighter as they realize it might be the last one. It is in the way Simons eyes open, as Wille kisses his neck; Simon is done fighting his desires. He is going to allow himself this indulgence, this union, this moment of love, before they go separately into the unknown.

The way that Simon looks as if he is almost in pain when he kisses Wille this season says everything. You can tell how much Simon misses Wille, how much he wants Wille, how much he loves Wille and yet he knows where they stand; nothing has changed.

They break apart and he studies Wille; Simon knows this might be the last time, and in this moment, nothing else matters except for Wille and he can see that Wille wants this too. Simon has survived the last few months(?) with fish and memories and a song and a sweater; he no longer can resist the boy in his arms. The inhale says it all; Simon wants this more than anything and he is tired of fighting against his longing.

The way that Simon melts into the kiss at first. It's coming home, it's being loved, it's a reminder of what they have and yet, it is also a reminder of what they could be about to lose; it becomes an almost desperate need for each other. It is no longer about remembering, it is no longer gentle and soft, it is pure need and desire, and the release of pent up yearning; it is the knowledge that this might be all they will have and the conviction that it will have to be enough.

It's the hands pulling Wille closer, it's the unbroken kiss, it's the annoyance at having to break the kiss to take off their shirts, it's the hands everywhere, it's the way Simon devours Wille. Simon has kept his distance, he has tried to protect himself, he has done what he thought was necessary. Now, finally he is allowing himself to give into his desire and have this time with Wille, even if it is all they have.

And then his delighted little giggle as he stares at Wille and starts to take off his pants says everything else; in this moment, they are free. Nothing matters except for Wille and Simon and their love.

As usual, this completely got away from me 😂 I hope you enjoyed it, if you made it this far! Thank you for this ask my darling 🫀

#young royals #yr spoilers #yr season 2 spoilers #omar rudberg #edvin ryding #lisa ambjörn

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vbecker10 · 2 years

Note

I have carefully contemplated about the requests I wish to submit and have come up with two. I shall submit them separately for ease. Here are the details:

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader.

Scene: Post Wakanda rehab. To start working with the Avengers he needs to go through some skills and drills training and is assigned to one of the best, Y/N.

Request: Bucky, who is normally the one chased by the ladies, find himself in a very odd situation. He has a crush on Y/N and is now the chaser. Could you please write about the first date and how he finally wooed her? (You can add details about the build up to him finally asking her out and what not if you like.

@soubi001 I'm so excited to finally get to this one!! I hope you like it 💚💚

_______________________________________

Back to Basics (Part 1 of 3)

(Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Bucky POV)

Warnings: none, fluff, touch of self doubt, clumsiness, being super awkward

Summary: Bucky has been invited to join the Avengers but he's disappointed when his first assignment is to take a skills assessment course. He quickly changes his mind when he meets the head trainer, Y/N. Bucky's growing crush on her causes him to be distracted during the evaluations and have several mishaps in the gym. After his third day of the assessment, Bucky begins to think it might be better if he just disappeared before he causes anymore damage but Sam has other plans.

A/N: idk why but I really felt like this just leaned towards Bucky being a bit awkward and I ran with it lol, I hope that's OK

_________________________________________

(BUCKY POV)

You follow Steve and Sam down the long hallway towards the main gym. You've been gone just over a year and as much as you liked the calm of Wakanda and couldn't be more thankful for everyone's help, you were glad to be back home. As soon as you were free from Hydra's mind control, Steve and Tony asked you to come back and join the Avengers. You were really looking forward to being part of the team and doing some good for once.

"What are we doing down here? I thought you said you were giving me my first assignment," you ask Steve when you reach the door to the gym. You had been back at the Tower for three long, boring weeks. Your days were spent filling out paperwork, talking to your new therapist and working out. You were ready to get back into the field not spend more time in the gym.

"This is your first assignment," he answers. Sam opens the door and you walk in after both of them.

"What are you talking about?" you ask again, feeling a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"You have to take the skills assessment course," Steve tells you matter of factly.

You look at him shocked, "Seriously? You do know I'm a super soldier right?"

Sam laughs, "Then you shouldn't have any problems with it old man."

You roll your eyes at Sam and Steve shrugs, "All new members have to go through the skills assessment. It's to evaluate you and see if improvements can be made. It also helps us figure out your strengths and weaknesses so we can decide who to send on which missions. It's just protocol Buck."

You groan and know it's no use to argue with him. Steve has no problems bending or breaking the rules when he thinks they are unjust but this doesn't seem to be one of those times. You cross your arms and say, "Just tell me Sam's not in charge of this."

"No, of course not. The head trainer is, you might have seen her around but I'm not sure if you've met her formally yet. She should be here any minute," Steve checks his watch and the door opens a moment later. "Oh, here she is," he says and you look up.

You can feel your heart stop for a second as you recognize the woman walking into the gym. The first time you saw her was a few days after you moved into the Tower, you had accidentally bumped into her as you were leaving for your run in the morning. You apologized for spilling her coffee and offered to take her to the Cafe for a new one but she declined. She told you not to worry since she was late for work, leaving you on the sidewalk as you watched her disappear into the building. Every morning after that, you timed your run so you would jog past her on your way to the park. She always smiled at you, coffee in hand, as you approached her and you always wanted to stop and talk to her but you never did.

She smiles warmly at all three of you then gives Steve and Sam hugs. You can't help but feel a bit jealous and look down, hoping no one notices.

"Hi, James. Oh, I guess you prefer Bucky right? I'm Y/N," she says, holding out her hand for you to shake it.

You clear your throat and smile. "Right, Bucky. Nice to meet you Y/N," you say as you shake her hand.

"Are you going to let go of her any time soon? We've all got other things to do today," Sam says and you realize you've been shaking her hand for way too long. You open your hand to release her and she giggles.

"That's quiet a firm handshake, Bucky," she jokes as she wiggles her fingers.

You laugh nervously. "You think that's hard, you should feel the metal one," and as soon as you say it you wish you hadn't. What the hell was that, you think to yourself but thankfully she laughs.

"Yea... well as much fun as this... isn't," Sam says, "I think we should head out." He pats Steve's shoulder and motions towards the door.

Steve nods, "Sam's right, don't want to be late for our briefing. Have fun you two."

They both leave and the gym is filled with an awkward silence for a moment until Y/N says, "Alright super soldier, let's see what you've got." She brings you over to the treadmills and says, "I know you already went on your run this morning, think you can handle this?"

You smile, feeling sure of yourself, "It was only ten miles, a few more won't be a problem."

"Great," she answers. Then you watch Y/N turn on several monitors next to the first treadmill while she asks, "Can you take off your shirt?"

You stand behind her a bit confused but who are you to say no to a request like that from her. "Sure," you answer as you pull your t-shirt off and hang it over the railing on the treadmill.

Y/N turns around and stares at you, her mouth hanging slightly open and you smile at the reaction. She clears her throat and picks up a few electrodes, "I umm... I need to put these on you to check your heartrate and breathing." You stand still, letting her place them on your chest and notice she is doing her best to look anywhere but up at you. When she's finished, she turns away quickly and says, "You can put your shirt back on."

You don't say anything as you put it back on while she stares at the monitors and makes a few notes on her tablet. You get on the treadmill then she leans over the rail and pushes a few buttons, turning it on for you.

The belt begins to move slowly and you walk at a leisurely pace. After about five minutes, Y/N reaches over and pushes the arrow a few more times, making more notes as you start to jog. You glance over at her and see her running the end of pen from her tablet gently over her lips as she watches you. She blushes when your eyes meet and she puts the pen in her other hand quickly before adjusting the speed again. Every fifteen minutes, she increases the speed by 5mph or 10mph and makes several notes each time, making sure she checks the monitors as well.

You start to run faster as the speed increases to 20mph. You steal another look over at Y/N as she tucks her hair behind her ear. "How's that feel?" she asks, and for a moment all you can think about it how soft her hair must feel but you know that wasn't the question.

"Relaxing, when are you going to make it a challenge?" you joke. The pace is very close to the one you typically set for yourself when you run through the park every morning.

"We're getting there soldier," she says with a smile as she sets the treadmill to 25mph then 30mph.

You push harder and begin to realize you're getting near your limit. The fastest you've ever tracked yourself was 36mph but that was only for a short distance and you hadn't spent the morning running first. You can feel your leg and arm muscles becoming strained under the constant testing. You run your hand through your hair then wipe away some sweat that is beading on your forehead.

A few minutes later she asks, "Wanna try to raise it a bit more?"

Every muscle in your body says no but you hear yourself say, "Go for it, doll."

With that, Y/N increases the speed to 35mph and you push yourself even harder. Your feet hit the treadmill hard and you pump your arms quickly. You can feel the sweat rolling down your chest and back but you don't quit. You stare straight ahead of you and continue to run full speed when you hear Y/N ask, "Still doing ok, Bucky?"

"Never better," you answer, trying to sound like you aren't breathing hard even though you know she is monitoring you. You look over at her and smile to prove your point and when she smiles back you feel your foot catch on the belt for just a moment too long.

_______________________________________

(Later that day)

"I can't believe you actually tripped and fell off the treadmill," Sam laughs as he sits next to you at the kitchen island.

You groan loudly and put your head down on the countertop, closing your eyes. You've spent the last few hours trying not to relive your morning over and over.

"I can't believe you broke the treadmill," Steve says in a much more serious tone.

"I didn't do it on purpose," you say quietly without looking up.

"Well... I for one am excited to see what you break tomorrow," Sam jokes and you lift your head slowly.

"What?" you ask him.

"When you go back, you know, for the rest of the assessment," he says and your eyes widen.

"Buck, it's a five day course, didn't Y/N explain that to you?" Steve asks.

You shake your head, "No... after I pulled one of the handrails off and the tore a slit in the belt with this," you wave your metal fingers, "She just told me to leave the gym."

Sam tries not to laugh again but Steve doesn't pay attention to him. "I'll talk to her after my next meeting," he tells you.

Just as you are about the get up and hide in your room for the rest of the day, Thor and Loki walk into the kitchen. The fact that they are both laughing strikes you as odd. You've never seen the two gods getting along before but then you see they are both watching something on Loki's tablet.

"You guys watching the video?" Sam asks and Thor nods. You bumped into Nat and Clint on your way up from the gym and they showed you the video. Apparently the assessment was being recorded for training purposes and Tony had 'accidentally' emailed the video to the whole team.

"My brother and I have discovered that it is actually much more entertaining if you watch it at different speeds," Thor says with a wide smile. "I prefer it at two times the normal speed," he laughs and Sam agrees.

"I think half speed is my favorite actually. You can see in your eyes the exact moment you realize you are going to fall and there is nothing you can do to stop it," Loki adds with a grin.

"Hey, good news though," Sam says, pointing to your face, "At least you don't look any worse than you usually do. How did you manage to not break your face?"

"That is an excellent point," Thor says. "I was sure you would have a bruised eye or bloodied nose at the very least."

Loki shrugs, "When you slow it down enough," he turns the tablet towards you and Sam, "You can see Barnes manages to get his hand down just in time to stop his face from hitting the still moving belt."

"Lucky me," you mumble and head out of the kitchen.

_______________________________________

(BUCKY POV - The next morning)

You take a deep breath and open the door to the gym. Y/N is sitting cross legged on the floor, leaning against a column in the middle of the empty gym. "Hi," you say and for some reason you wave even though she is reading.

She looks up from her book and smiles. "Hi Bucky," she responds cheerfully as she gets up. You sigh, letting out the breath you were holding when she smiles at you. You had been so worried she would be upset about what had happened yesterday.

"So... I was thinking we should stay away from anything expensive today," she jokes and you follow her to the back of the gym.

"I've got a good old fashioned punching bag for you," she points to the large bag hanging from the ceiling beam. She explains how the cameras will capture your movements so they can be analyzed afterwards while you wrap up your hands.

You start off slowly, focusing on technique and form rather than pure strength. You move around a bit, getting into a rhythm as you punch the bag, alternating hands. You can feel Y/N watching you but she remains silent, taking notes occasionally.

A few minutes in, you hear the door open and she tells you she will be right back. You watch from the corner of your eye as she gives the young agent a hug. Why did it seem like she gave the perfect hug, and would she ever hug you like that, you wondered as you hit the bag slightly harder. He says something you can't hear but the sound of her laughter fills the gym and you hit the bag again. She crosses her arms around herself as they continue to talk and you continue to hit the bag, alternating hands as you put more force into each strike. Again, he says something that makes her laugh and she hits his arm hard but playfully.

You hit the bag with your metal hand and suddenly realize you've made a huge mistake. The punching bag tears open and sand sprays across the back of the gym.

Y/N and the agent stop laughing abruptly and turn to look at you in shock. The empty bag swings from the ceiling, the chain squeaking is the only sound in the gym.

"Good luck, Y/N" the agent says as he slips out the door.

"So... that happened," Y/N laughs as she walks towards you slowly. You look down, kicking at the sand gently.

"Apparently," you answer, still not making eye contact with her. How could you have been this stupid, she specifically gave this to you so you wouldn't mess up or destroy another piece of equipment and you still did.

The door opens again and the agent looked his head inside. "I forgot, my mom wanted to to ask if you were coming to dinner on Sunday. She said your parents are going to be there," he says, barely stepping inside.

"Oh, uh... yea. Tell her I'll be there," she answers and he shuts the door. She looks up at you and almost as if she was reading your mind says, "That's my cousin, Tyler. It's our grandmother's birthday this weekend."

You nod and realize you might be even more of an idiot than you originally thought you were. Standing in silence, there is suddenly another tearing sound as what is left of the bag falls onto the ground and you sigh.

She puts her hands on her hips and looks around for a moment then says, "I guess I'll get you a broom and we'll call it a day I think."

_______________________________________

@michelleleewise @ace-of-gay @high-functioning-lokipath @poetic-fiasco @soubi001 @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814 @lovingchoices14 @justasecretwriter @theaudacitytowrite @klaushargreeves420 @coffeeorsomething-irl @lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @avoliax @talesofadragon @lokiandbuckysdoll @animnerd @juulle987 @lokiprompts @javagirl328 @kats72 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @mochie85 @princess-asgard @holdmytesseract @lokixryss @peaches1958 @highkeysimpingforloki

Let me know if you want to be taken off or added to this list! 💚 (I don't have a separate tag list for Bucky stuff but maybe I should make one?)

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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years

Text

Of Kings and Beasts - Nine

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrust to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Angst, Injuries, Fluff, Language, Violence,

Word Count: 2.9K

A/n: Another chapter is finished!! I’ve got an idea but it’s SO DANGEROUS AND Y’ALL MIGHT HATE ME IF I DO IT BUT ITS SO TEMPTING AND I THINK I’M GONNA DO IT ahem anyway I hope you guys enjoy this!

A/n 2: I’m posting this before work so I’ll reply to asks and comments when I get home tonight! Also, I’ve got the next part of Gangsta written up if y’all want that.... hehe

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Series Masterlist

~*~

“How have you been adjusting to this new home?” Thor asks one morning, a smile on his face. You grin back at him, the weight of Acadia lifted off your shoulders as you take a sip of your tea.

“Quite well. Although Loki has been an interesting addition.” The raven-haired man looks up from his book momentarily and gives you a look, to which you only smile.

From the moment you entered the cottage you knew it would be good for you to stay here.

“Well, we are at your disposal. I will have to go back to Asgard within the weeks to come, but Loki and the Valkyrie shall remain here should you need or want them.” You nod gratefully, looking out the window and pursing your lips as you watch the women spar outside.

“What? What is it?” Thor asks, following your gaze.

“I want to learn to defend myself. To wield a sword and fight off an attacker.” Loki scoffs from where he sits, his nose still buried deep in his book.

“For what reason should a queen wish to learn to fight? You will always have men for that.” Your defence is up in an instant, and you clench your jaw before composing yourself enough to reply.

“I do think that considering both my upbringing and the way I have been treated in my new kingdom, I have every right to want to learn to defend myself. I have many reasons to want to defend myself, none of which concern you, however, if you had the slightest idea of all that I have endured in my short time as queen you would not question me wanting to learn to defend myself. I have been shunned from my palace because my husbands fear someone will kill me. My own husbands have brought me far more pain than I would like to admit. I have every right to wish to learn how to defend myself and I will not hear a word from you about the subject!”

His brows raise to nearly his hairline and he looks between you and his brother before burying his nose back in his book, which elicits a chuckle from the blond king.

“If the situation is so severe that I need be sent away for my own safety, I need to learn to defend myself.”

Thor nods, a strong hand patting your shoulder comfortingly.

“I knew there was a fire in you. I could see it in those eyes when you spoke of running from the Kings. I just needed to find it.” He rises to his feet and straightens his clothing. “Loki does have a special talent for pulling the fire from even the most docile creatures. But I will go speak with the valkyrie. They will be delighted to have a student to train.”

He leaves the cottage to interrupt the sparring outside, and you feel your heart skip a beat at the first piece of control that you will have over your life.

~*~

“If that will be all, You are dismissed,” King Steven says, his voice low and exhausted. The royal adviser bows then heads to the door, hesitating for a moment.

“Forgive me, Your Majesties, but I cannot help but notice the absence of the Queen. Where has she gone?” It’s not the first time they’ve gotten the question in the week that you've been gone, therefore they already have their excuse rehearsed and perfected.

“We simply have no use for her. If she cannot even bear our children then what use is she to us?” Comes Steve’s practiced response.

“We were instructed to find a queen who could produce strong heirs. Our wife cannot. So she is no longer of use to us,” James adds, his voice dripping in boredom as he looks over a document on his desk.

The royal advisor nods then excuses himself, bustling to his own office with newfound haste and purpose.

“It’s been a week and we are no closer to finding who it is than we were when she was here,” Steve murmurs after a long moment of silence, his shoulders heavy with the weight of their decision.

“I’m beginning to question whether it was a good decision to send her along with Thor. Especially after he threatened to make her a queen of his own. What if she were to agree?” James stands up and walks over to his husband, taking his shaking hands in his own and sighing.

“I would not blame her if she were to agree. We have treated her like a prisoner. I have... brutalized her and beaten her and I will never be able to repent. If she were to want him I would in no way blame her. He has provided her with a safe haven. She can confide in him and trust him in a way that she may not be able to again with us.” Steve sniffles and squeezes his eyes shut.

“We need to find who it is that has caused this and we need to make them pay.” James nods, smoothing his thumbs over the back of his husband’s hands.

“We will. But until we do, we must remain strong. The Doctor is recovering and when he is fully recovered we will ask him who it was that attacked him. We will find who is behind this, but we must be patient.”

~*~

“Again!” You raise your sword just in time to block a blow from one of the Valkyrie, grinding your teeth together as you push her back a step then swipe your own sword at her throat.

She hops backward, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You are learning, Your Majesty. But you still hold back. Why? You cannot be afraid to hurt us,” The Captain says, walking forward and looking at you closely.

“You must show no mercy. Not when you must choose between your own life and the life of someone who means to do you harm. You will fight and you will fight to the death.”

Your entire body is burning with the exertion but you hold your ground, raising your sword and ready to go again.

“That’s what I like to see! Now, we go again!” Brunnhild exclaims, a grin on her face as she takes her fighting stance.

It’s just over two weeks since you began your training and everyone is surprised at how quickly you’re picking up on what’s being taught, but none more than you.

You’re just stepping out of the bath, muscles aching with a new type of strength that the Valkyrie have been beating into you, when your eyes catch a glimpse of movement at the window to your bedroom. A figure clad in all black is moving swiftly away from the cottage and disappearing into the darkness of woods, the setting sun aiding in the camouflage of the person.

Thinking that it’s none other than Loki going to wreak havoc on some poor defenceless wanderers, you don’t question it. Instead, you get dressed into a soft Asgardian gown and start preparing yourself for bed.

You’re just about ready to settle down with a book when a flash of white catches your eye from the window. You hesitantly investigate, heart hammering in your chest as you see a letter tucked securely in the window.

You open it and snatch the envelope before it can be taken by the wind, then shut the window again.

The seal on the envelope is that of Acadia, and your heart is in your throat as you realize that this could very well be a letter from the Kings. You’ve no idea what it may say, and cannot decide if you are more nervous or excited as you open it.

The script is not one you recognize, but your eyes greedily devour every word, the smile fading from your face at what lies on the page in your hand.

Thor finds you sometime later seated on the floor, the letter gripped tightly in your hands and your eyes focused on a point on the wall.

“(Y/n?” He asks softly, knocking against the doorframe to try and get your attention. You make no indication that you’ve heard him.

He enters the room, brows furrowed as he sees what you’re holding. “What is that? What does it say? Is it from the Kings?”

It takes a very long moment, but eventually, you find the strength to speak. But even then your voice is a weak rasp.

“Did you know the truth? Did you hide it from me as well?” Thor is beyond confused as he approaches you, taking the page from you and reading through the contents quickly.

‘Your Majesty,

Do not ask who I am nor how I know where you are, just know that you need be more careful who it is you call your lovers. They have sent you away, not for your own protection but because you failed at the task they wanted you for. They have sent you away because you failed to bear their children, this I promise I have heard with my own ears. I know not what they have told you but it is what I have witnessed. They have said this directly and I have heard it with my very own ears. You would do well to stay away from them, for they are dangerous. But I am certain that you and your late child are more than aware of that.

Consider this a warning, your majesty, for I know you are unsafe. You must take care and be far more careful of who you allow in your court.’

“Loki!” The prince is in the room within the same moment, his eyes full of confusion.

“Have the Valkyrie secure the area and find me the man who sent this! Travel to Acadia and alert the Kings. The Queen is no longer safe here.”

You’re confused. If the kings have directly told someone this, why then is Thor responding in such a way?

Loki is on horseback heading towards Acadia only moments later, and Thor is leaving the room as soon as the Valkyrie enter.

Brunnhild crouches next to you, a frown on her face as she glances at the note on the floor, its words echoing in your ears.

“Do not allow this to scare you, Your majesty. Do not give them the satisfaction of that.” You scoff and shake your head at her, “it is far easier said than done. All my life I have been punished for ever speaking, much less standing my ground. I have perfected the art of cowering, for men wish to do nothing but hurt and maim all so they can gain power.”

She sits down and shakes her head, taking your hand in hers and squeezing it tightly.

“You forget that we are all brought into this world through blood and through pain, your Majesty. We are the daughters of savage women. We are their savage daughters and we will act like it. We will bite and scream and we will take up space. We will not conform to their ideas of what women should be.” Her words are whispered into the still air of the room as if she were hiding them from any listening ears.

“Do not lower your voice for any man. Do not cower beneath them. You are a powerful being. One that can create life and you can also take it away, never forget that.” She pulls a dagger off of her belt and hands it to you, curling your fingers around the hilt before she continues speaking.

“You have the blood of goddesses and witches flowing through your veins. You hold a power that men could never understand. With every step we take, every time we refuse to cower... we honour our mothers, our grandmothers, and the ones before them. The ones who stood and fought and were torn to pieces. We will not be silenced. You will not be silenced. You are more powerful than that. You must remember your strength and your power. Do not let the men convince you that you are anything less than what you are.”

Your eyes sting and your throat gets tight, but she only hugs your shoulders and continues speaking.

“Your power is what scares them. Why else would they try to assert their dominance in such a way? But you will not fall. You will not allow them to treat you like that because you are the daughter of a savage. You are yourself a savage woman and you will act like it. Royal title be damned.”

You sniffle once, twice, three times, then nod, wiping your eyes just as Thor re-enters the room.

The Valkyrie take their leave and the King sighs, crouching down next to you and gently stroking your cheek.

“I’m so very sorry, Petal. You are no longer safe here. If someone was able to bring you this letter then I fear you are in far more danger than we had thought. The conspiracy against the Kings runs far deeper than any of us could have anticipated, and if we are to keep you safe then we must act quickly.” He pulls you to your feet and bustles around quickly, covering your shoulders in a thick cloak and packing a bag of your belongings.

“Wait, where do you mean to take me? If I am not safe anywhere?”

He tosses your bag over his shoulder and grabs your hand, entwining your fingers and giving your hand a soft squeeze.

“The only place you will truly be safe.” You’re still quite confused.

“We make for Asgard.”

484 notes · View notes

umiarumi · 3 years

Text

fucking three houses | prologue/claude von riegan

afab she/her reader, originally posted on my ao3, myukyu <3

Twirling my sword, an excited grin fell upon my face as I jogged alongside Dorte and Marianne. "Hah! Marie, ya think I can keep up your old steed's pace?" I asked excitedly, huffing slightly. The academy had really buffed your stamina, shit, enough to keep up with a damn horse.

"Oh, (Y/N)! I-um, don't strain yourself since we have nearly reached the monastery." She hesitantly called out, brow furrowing. I laughed it off, nodding as I slowed my pace to meet Raphael jogging, carrying a very unamused Lysithea.

"What's up, you two?" I asked, grinning. The behemoth of a man beamed back, motioning his head to the pouting smaller girl in his arms.

"Lysithea here was starting to struggle, so as a good big bro- I mean, uh, friend! As a good friend, I'm helping keep up!" He cheered, laughing.

"I'll remind you, you thoughtless fool, I am not a child! I am quite the opposite, now." Lysithea barked out at Raphael, folding her arms.

I chuckled, shaking my head. I missed these guys, and once we make it to the monastery... well, teach better have kept his promise and not died on us. ~~~~ ~~~~ PROLOGUE END ~~~~ ~~~~ "Ahh... now this one is gonna fill the spot, thanks, prof!" You cheered, excitedly flicking your eyes between your delicious meal of Beast Meat and your slightly concerned professor.

"That smell... it's amazing! My fav, in fact. Do you like it too?" Claude nodded with you, looking to Byleth out of curiousity. Easygoing, huh?

"I like it."

Usually, you'd laugh at your teacher's blunt speech, yet that meat was begging you to devour it and hey- who are you to deny its wishes? Being back at the monastery with your class and teacher as much as you'd loved being back in your home country, you had a soft spot for the Golden Deer. But five years had changed the lot of you, various glowups being noticed, by the way. Yet, Claude caught your attention the most. Which, being honest, wasn't out of the norm, hell, for anyone!

As you tore through your meat, you caught your former classmate stifling a chuckle at your pure ferocity.

"Oi! Got thomething to thay," You quickly swallowed. "What's so funny!?" You annoyedly accused, slamming a hand on the table. He let out a laugh, shaking his head.

"Easy tiger! You just looked awfully cute with your cheeks stuffed."

You felt your cheeks darken, clicking your tongue as you went back to your meal. "Smooth, dickhead..." You mumbled as your teacher let out a sigh at the two of youse antics. As you all continue to eat, a comfortable silence fell upon your trio.

"That aside, I am glad to see you also returning. I heard from Lorenz that you had disappeared for a while." Your teacher finally spoke, looking to you. Your eyebrows rose in surprise as you let a crooked grin creep up your face.

"Funny you say that. How about yourself, five years asleep! Did any lucky gal or guy come to give you that awakening kiss~" You cooed, switching the topic onto him. You had no idea what you could say without getting yourself and Claude in an unknown amount of trouble.

He raised a brow at your dodging of the question but ultimately let it go. "I did not get kissed, no."

Claude piped up from his suspicious silence, leaning in to pester teach. "Ya sure? You were pretty popular back at the academy!" You snickered after this comment, nodding to egg him on.

"I believe we've finished the meal. I shall see the two of you later." He promptly stood up with his plate and cutlery, returning them to the kitchen before strutting off in his usual stern demeanour.

"Aw, we scared him off!" You jokingly whined, leaning onto Claude. Teasing your no-nonsense teacher was great since he's as clueless as Seteth with three times the patience.

"How will we ever apologise?" Claude moaned alongside you, resting his head on yours melodramatically. You tittered together before recovering and bringing your dirty dishes to the kitchen. Leaving the dining hall, you two walked in silence.

You walked with no aim for a while until Claude stopped. You turned to him, intrigued. Tilting your head, you asked him a question.

"Something up?"

He smiled softly, shaking his head.

"Nah, but I would like to ask you some things." He said, and the lack of a comedic tone set off a minor alarm in your brain. You were no stranger to his inquisitive nature, having known him for a good portion of your life. Yet, you had a feeling this related to before. Even Claude wasn't aware of your whereabouts.

"Sure thing, here?" You asked, folding your arms defensively.

"No... let's go somewhere more private." He said, walking off. You jumped, quickly following him.

~~~~

Following Claude up the spiralling stairs of the Goddess tower was quick, that you could confirm. Nearly stumbling over your steps as he transcended so damn fast, you couldn't even call out for him to slow the hell down.

As you finally made it to the top, avoiding the rubble which had gathered after the battle at the monastery, you had leant against the wall, quickly regaining your breath. Yet as soon as you blinked, Claude seemed to have moved from the centre of the room to a few inches away from your face.

"C-Claude! What the hell...?" You jumped, backing fully up against the cold, stone wall. Feeling the cool stones against your back, you shivered as your former leader stared at you.

"Answer teach's question for me, friend? Where were you while we were stopping the whole damn alliance from being chipped away by the Empire?" He asked, frustrated. He took a step towards you.

You gulped, shaking your head as your eyes darted around the tower, looking everywhere but him.

"That's not the answer I was looking for, (Y/N)."

Your breath hitched as he grabbed your chin to look you in the eyes. His voice lowered, a conflicted emotion on his face. A crooked grin tugged at his lips and yet his brows were furrowed, annoyed.

||Translation: فاک - Fuck||

"I-I was in Almyra!" You yelped, quickly realising what you said as you cursed under your breath, "فاک..." You hissed, embarrassed.

"First, you avoid our questions..." Claude listed, cruelly running his thumb across your lip. Your heart skipped a beat, your eyes finally set on his figure.

"Second, you leave us... breaking our promise," He continued, striking your heart where it hurts.

You bit your lip, eyeing him as he let his hand drop to your shoulder. He pushed you further against the wall. You shivered, yet not from the freezing stone this time.

"I-I... even you said you had no attachment to Fodlan! I thought you wouldn't..." You trailed off, searching for an excuse.

"Everyone thought you died! I thought you died! And yet..." His voice rose, yet less out of anger. He finally brought his face to your extremely red own.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, finally..." You stiffened, knowing what he was going to bring up.

"Leaving me hanging."

Before you all reunited, you had made a short trip into Fodlan to grasp the situation. Yet, your undercover mission soon became an open one as a fateful night in Derdriu occurred.

~~~~

It was a warm evening the night you had made it into the lively streets of the city. Even after the effects of war, the city still seemed to bustle. Unassumedly passing by citizens happily talking, you looked for any Knights of Seiros stationed nearby or even members of the Leicester military. Noticing a particular armoured woman, you tapped her shoulder.

She turned, giving you a pleasant smile. "Do you need anything, ma'am?"

You nodded, playing with the sides of your bodice. "I live a while from the military posts, so could you please tell me... um, how is the war going?" Embarrassed, she laughed softly before explaining.

However, you were unaware of a keen eye watching you. The familiar bobbing of unruly hair, gleaning of sun-kissed skin tied in with a confident stance clued Claude onto just who it was he saw. He waited patiently behind market stalls, keeping an eye on you as you bid the woman goodbye. And oh-so luckily for him, you headed his way.

You passed by him, oblivious to the archer's presence. A sudden hand on your shoulder caused you to jolt, your hand reaching to the hilt of your sword. Whipping around, your eyes soon met the green ones of a certain Alliance leader.

"C-Claude!?" You shrieked, hand still cautiously resting on your sword, unsure if he would take well to your sudden appearance.

"So you decided to show up, huh?" He remarked, and if you knew him any less you'd think that easygoing smile meant he was happy. But that smile never reached his eyes.

Yet, despite his obvious inner conflict, you expelled a breath as he pulled you into a hug. You soon wrapped your arms around him. It had been four years since you left after Edelgard and her forces attacked. You felt his grip loosen as he rose a hand to your chin, that oh-so teasing thumb brushing against your lip.

"May I?" He muttered, and in response, you leant into him, lips locking. What started innocently quickly grew messy and needy, your lips growing red.

As you pulled back, you felt the hard pressure as your fronts brushed together. You blushed before turning your head away.

"I'm sorry Claude, I have to go." You muttered solemnly, pulling yourself together.

"Wait, what? Showing up randomly after four years and then blue-balling me?" He teased yet yearningly reached out his hand.

"I promise, I will return and finish what I started!" You called out, running off into the night.

~~~~

Your face grew hot at the memory. Shuffling nervously, you looked into his eyes.

"Then, will you finish what we started, miss?" He asked, running a hand across your face.

Inhaling, you nodded and answered him. "Yes... please."

With your consent, he pushed himself against you, lips squishing as he brought you upon his own. He soon ran his tongue along your bottom lip, asking for permission.

You parted them quickly, his tongue invading your mouth as your tongue danced with his. He began to unclasp your armour as you shifted to help them come off easier.

Before you knew it, you had both shed to your undergarments, all knowledge of this being an open area quickly leaving your mind.

His hands reached behind your back to fiddle with your bra for a few moments, soon letting it fall to the cold, stone ground. His eyes fell to your breasts, your nipples perk from a mix of the cold air in the Goddess Tower and the heat of the situation.

Quickly, his hands began to fondle and grope your tits, your hand slapping on your mouth as to not alert any patrolling guards.

"These really are great. Your armour disguises you, a good thing that is since you'd probably take a few hits otherwise." He commented cheekily, observing your tightly shut eyes and fluttering breaths.

God, he'd tease you even now!?

One of the hands dropped from your breast, the other continuing to squeeze and roll it like wet clay. The forgotten breast soon regained heat as the scruffy head of the brunette quickly moved to suckle on your aching nipple, causing you to let out a quick yelp.

"How cute." He mumbled into your tit, the vibrations sending a delicious shiver up your spine. Whilst you were focused on the pleasure at your chest, your throbbing cunt soon found a welcoming hand cupping it through your underwear.

"Soaked! Were you wanting this all along? Hah! Pretty slutty for an Almyran warrior." He cooed, fingers running against your clothed slit.

"A-ah... fuck you!" You hissed, deciding on paying back the offer. Your free hand reached down to cup his hidden boner, hand rubbing slowly.

"Ffffuck... fine, you want to do it right here, against this wall sweetheart?" He asked, grinning.

You nodded brashly, slipping out of your drenched underwear. He too shed his remaining clothes and your lips locked in a short kiss before he pulled away.

Grabbing onto your thighs, he lifted you as you hooked your legs around him. Pushing you against the wall, he angled his dick at your pussy. Rubbing slowly, teasingly. The two of you groaned, as finally, he stuck his dick in your needy cunt.

You gasped, feeling it stretch you out, slowly, inch by inch. Bottoming out, the two of you stilled for a moment, catching your breaths. Once you adjusted, signalling him with a nod, he pulled out to the tip, before slamming back in. You moaned unabashedly, eyes fluttering open to see Claude's face scrunch up.

He looked up to you coyly, smirking. "Do you want all of the monastery to find us? Would you like them to see you like this?" Your breath hitched.

"Sweating, being fucked against a wall by your former leader? After five long years, you decide to help." He hissed, continuing to thrust as you gasped with each thrust.

The fulfilling feeling of Claude's dick rubbing against your inner walls gradually inched you to your orgasm, the added brushing of fronts stimulating your clit.

"I could get used to this, you'll really help the war efforts this way. Those poor, exhausted knights who you could've helped. A nice cocksleeve like you, you'll do more by getting fucked than you have the past years." He grunted, venting his frustrations.

Yet, despite all the guilt you should've felt, it only made the aching buzz of your clit all the more stronger.

Your cunt spasmed with each thrust, the routine rubbing and brushing working you towards your end as you felt Claude's dick shudder every time he bottomed out.

"Maybe you could motivate Ignatz? He'd be shy though, but a girl so open like you would be perfect for that." He mumbled, watching your face darken.

"Or Raphael? He could use you as training. You'd be spent by the time he was even finishing, yet a slut like you would be okay with that, right?"

His dick continued to twitch in your pussy, your walls clamping around his cock like a vice. Fluttering as you were so close to your end.

"Shit... even Lorenz... he could use you as practice for his- ngh, noble duties!" He choked out a laugh, breath stuttering.

"But I think I like you best as my little runaway slut, yeah? You fit so well on my cock!" He emphasised the last word with a sharp thrust, your walls clamping shut on his cock, your head hitting the wall as you moaned in ecstasy.

He quickly pulled out, dick spurting ropes of cum on your chest and stomach. As you both caught your breath, you caught Claude smiling at you.

"It's good to have you back, my friend."

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #claude von riegan #claude von riegan x reader #claude x reader #fire emblem smut #smut #fe3h #fe3h x reader #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem x reader smut #claude von riegan x reader smut #claude x reader smut #claude von riegan could totally be into angry sex

122 notes · View notes

vdlest · 3 years

Text

My Works:

2am knock on my door

Posted: May 17, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Anger!Reader

Summary: After Tony's death, Cap's disappearance, and end of Thanos, everybody go on separate ways to continue their lives. You became alone. But one rainy night, you heard a knock on your door, only to find Bucky Barnes soaking wet outside your apartment. You soon realized that you're not the only person who feels that kind of sadness and loneliness. That makes the two of you.

Warning: None

His I Love You

Posted: May 17, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You and Bucky are in temporary LDR due to his mission and just by hearing those three magical words, you felt okay.

Warning: None

You Saved Me

Posted: May 18, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You kept him from being insane by loving him for who he was, who he is, and who will he be.

Warning: None

Costumes

Posted: May 18, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and the avengers are having a Halloween party, and someone came with a familiar costume, making your heart skip a beat.

Warning: None

As Long As We Both Shall Live

Sequel to "2am Knock On My Door"

Posted: May 19, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Bucky didn't like the idea of you avoiding him. So during the mini-reunion party, he confronted you.

Warning: None

Turning Point

Posted: May 19, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Reader

Summary: You were out with your girl friends, Nat and Wanda, but when you got home, your boy best friend, Bucky, isn't so happy about you coming home late.

Warning: None

Good Morning, Husband

Posted: May 20, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You woke up and see Bucky Barnes beside you, realizing that it's your first morning as husband and wife.

Warning: None

My Lady

Posted: May 20, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It is Tony's birthday party and everyone's required to wear their best formal attire, and when you did, you caught the attention of James Buchanan Barnes.

Warning: None

He Won't Allow It

Posted: May 22, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Just when Zemo is about to use you as a pawn to your next plan for your mission in Prague, Bucky decided to remind him that he won't allow anyone to use you. An unexpected confession came after.

Warning: Swearing

Dreamcatcher

Posted: May 22, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky continues to have his nightmares night by night. You advised him to follow what his therapist told him to do — to have a friend. It turns out, you also needed one. Will the two of you take this chance to help each other?

Warning: None aside from swearing

You Left Something

Posted: May 23, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x ExAvenger!Reader

Summary: It has been a year since you left the life of being an Avenger. But after a year, someone showed up in your house, telling you that you left something when you left your old life. What could it be?

Warning: Swearing, mention of sex/one-night stand

You Matter

Posted: May 23, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky together with the other Avengers went to Florida for a mission. When your ex-suitor was also in the same area, your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, is triggered by your ex's words. How can you make him feel better?

Warning: Jealousy, A little bit of smut, Swearing

I'll Come Home To You

Posted: May 24, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: All the men avengers are compromised in a big mission that has to do with an organization trying to revive and continue HYDRA's works. Seeing your fiance, Bucky, leave months before your wedding makes you worried.

Warning: None

His Muse

Posted: May 25, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Tony and Pepper are finally tying the knot. And your date for their wedding is none other than James Buchanan Barnes, your best friend.

Warning: None

Still His

Posted: May 25, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: You lost him five years ago, but what happens when the new fist of HYDRA turns out to be the man you thought was a ghost already.

Warning: Swearing, Alternate Universe, Poorly Written

Lost & Found

Posted: May 26, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Nearly three years ago, the Avengers lost in a battle for humanity. They lost because of Thanos. Half of the planet vanished in thin air and only God knows what happened to them. Surprisingly, you received a call from Nat telling you that Tony Stark is safely back in the compound with the help of Captain Marvel. But you get another surprise when Nat tells you that Bucky did not vanish three years ago, he was with Tony this whole time.

Warning: None

No One, But You

Posted: May 26, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You, Sam, and Bucky went to Prague for a mission that has something to do with what they call the Flash Smashers, but Bucky is not his usual "game on" mode and you found out why. He's still grieving over Steve's disappearance and for not being able to apologize to Tony.

Warning: Swearing

Onto It

Posted: May 27, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Bucky and Sam are both in New York to finish their mission with the power broker, which turns out to be Sharon Carter. The latter is not just the villain in this story, but you once got jealous of her as well when she tried to seduce your man.

Warning: Swearing, Jealousy, Mention of Smut

Nice To Meet You

Posted: May 28, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The restaurant where Bucky always takes Yori to eat with him is where you actually work. You've been watching and staring at him for quite some time now but didn't have the courage to introduce yourself to him. But what happens when Yori asked Bucky to take you out?

Warning: None

No Goodbyes

Posted: May 29, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, CivilWar!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You fought for team Captain America during the Civil War. You were one of the people who believed that Bucky Barnes can gain his redemption. Fighting alongside Bucky, the two of you did not have a hard time getting along and eventually fell for each other. But after the fight in the airport, he decided to freeze himself again until a solution for his condition comes.

Warning: None

Always Beside You

Posted: May 30, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky have been living together for a year now. Ever since you came into his life, he stopped having nightmares, not until Sam gave up the shield and the country have a new Captain America.

Warning: None

It's Her

Posted: May 31, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: It was supposed to be a night of fun with the whole team, but your ex-boyfriend shows up and tries to ruin your night.

Warning: Swearing, AU, Mention of a little SMUT

Scarred & Bruised

Posted: June 1, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Each time you find yourself falling in love, you'd tell them about your dark past, and they'll always end up leaving you. So you tried not to fall in love with anyone since then, and it has been years since you felt love in your life. But then you met Bucky, and it's not hard to fall in love with him so you ran away from him. After a year of hiding and running from the man you thought was just like anyone else, he found you, and no chance that he'll let you go again.

Warning: Swearing, Mention of rape, Violence

You Made Me Live Again

Posted: June 2, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader, Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You used to date Steve Rogers, but you knew that he has always been in love with Peggy, so you two stopped dating. Two years later, you met Bucky and slowly fell for each other, but you two decided to keep your relationship a secret since both of you doesn't want to shock everyone, especially Steve, who happens to be Bucky's best friend. But until when can both of you hold back?

Warning: Open-ended, Sappy Ending

Midnight Talks

Posted: June 7,2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: After Bucky and Sam's mission in Brooklyn, they came back to the compound and you noticed that something is not right with Bucky. One midnight, you can't sleep and found Bucky in the mini-bar in the compound and you finally found out why he's been acting differently.

Warning: fluff, a little smut, drinking

More than anything

Posted: June 8, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky have been best friends since high school. He always asked you for advice whenever he's dating someone, when you say no, he'd say no as well. But one night, you found each other in your room, having sex. Waking up the next day, he's gone. No text, no call, nothing.

Warning: mention of smut

Build a life together

Posted: June 9, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky joined Sam to help him restore their family boat. But a life-changing event took place. An event of a lifetime for you and Bucky.

Warning: none

Of all the things

Posted: June 10, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader

Summary: Even before the civil war took place, you sided with Captain America about his point of view of Bucky Barnes — that he could gain his redemption. Bucky has never shown you anything bad ever since you met him. The next thing you knew, he caught your heart too. You took their side up to the civil war, and you knew your brother, Tony, would be hurt by your decision.

After the civil war, Tony told you about the truth of the death of your parents, the Winter Soldier killed them. You were hurt too, for all along you knew they got into an accident but it turns out, they were murdered.

Seeing how devastated Tony is for feeling betrayed by Steve Rogers and feeling hurt upon learning what really happened to your parents, you decided to go back with him in New York, without even saying goodbye to Bucky, the man you secretly loved.

A year later, you & Tony received a call from Wakanda, you are needed in a war. But little did you know, you're about to cross paths again with the man you've always loved from afar and secretly.

Warning: none

Only yours forever

Posted: June 11, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You and the rest of the remaining avengers decided to team up with the Eternals, but seems like your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, isn't a fan of Ikaris and the way he stares at you.

Warning: Jealousy, Fluff, Implied Smut

I'm home in your arms

Posted: June 14, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky always comes to visit you, but he asked you to come over to his place this time. Upon your arrival at his apartment, you found him sad and emotional.

Warning: Fluff

Definition of heaven

Posted: June 16, 2021

Characters: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: You found out you were pregnant with Bucky's baby when the blip took place. You keep the baby and raised him by yourself and with the help of a few friends. You have always believed that Bucky will come back to you and your son, Gabriel. Five years later, the Avengers won, Bucky came home to you and Gabriel.

Warning: Fluff

Sergeant Barnes' last letter

Posted: June 18, 2021

Characters: InfinityWar!Bucky Barnes x Fiance!Reader

Summary: You woke up in your bed without Bucky by your side. The only thing you found on his trace is his letter for you, saying his temporary farewell as he leaves for Wakanda to fight with his pal, Steve against Thanos.

Warning: Fluff

Let me take care of you

Posted: June 21, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Joining forces with John Walker is the last thing you, Sam, and Bucky want to consider, but after seeing the powerful force of the Flag Smashers, the three of you left with no other choice.

Warning: Jealousy, Swearing, Fluff

The Barnes & Rogers talk

Posted: June 23, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky can't stop talking about you to his best friend, Steve Rogers.

Warning: Fluff

Could we?

Posted: June 26, 2021

Characters: ExBF!Bucky Barnes x ExGF!Reader

Summary: A normal day turns out to be different when you bumped into your ex, Bucky Barnes.

Warning: Fluff

Get her

Posted: July 2, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: When Bucky found out that you were taken by the subgroup of HYDRA called "The Atonement," he will do everything just to bring you back safely.

Warning: Fluff, Expect an open ending, Heartbreak

Convincing Mr. Barnes

Posted: July 5, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x GF!Reader

Summary: Instead of going out of town with you, you convinced Bucky to help Sam in restoring their family boat.

Warning: Fluff, A little bit of SMUT

Just stay

Posted: July 7, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Neighbor!Reader

Summary: Clogged sink, carrying heavy furniture, fixing your broken headboard - these are just some of the times you called your neighbor, Bucky, for help, and he'll be happy to help you without anything in exchange. Until you finally offered something he can't resist, your body.

Warning: Mention of SMUT (18+), Fluff, Bucky being rough and soft at the same time

A little too late

Posted: July 9, 2021

Characters: ExBF!Bucky Barnes x ExGF!Reader

Summary: Bucky broke up with you and left you when he thought you were cheating on him with Steve. He left without any God damn word, and you weren't able to tell him that you never cheated on him, not even a thought of it.

3 years later, Bucky received a letter from Steve, making Bucky feel guilty for what he did to you.

Warning: Angst, Mention of miscarriage, Expect a heartbreak

Love than lose

Posted: July 11, 2021

Characters: TFAWTS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The day Bucky confessed to you that he likes you, you told him that you can't be with someone whose life is always in the line of death. So you two decided not to do anything. But when you saw him in the news regarding his mission to end Flag Smashers alongside the new Captain America, Sam, you rushed towards the scene to tell him that you regret your decision.

Warning: Fluff

Each other's home

Posted: July 14, 2021

Characters: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Summary: You just got home from your shopping and spa day with Wanda and Nat, and you found your loving husband cooking dinner for both of you. Just a normal sweet night with the love of your life.

Warning: Fluff

Always you

Posted: July 19, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x GF!Reader

Summary: Thea team is out for a celebratory dinner, but it turns out your ex-boyfriend was also in the same restaurant. Your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, can't help but feel a "little" jealous.

Warning: Fluff, Jealousy, Mention of SMUT

Morning star

Posted: July 23, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: When Zemo asked Bucky to play the role of the Winter Soldier once more for the mission in Madripoor, you can't help but feel anxious about it.

Warning: Fluff

Says who

Posted: July 29, 2021

Characters: TFAWTS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You think Bucky hates you because he is too professional when you two are working on a mission, he doesn't do small talks, and he doesn't talk to you about any other thing aside from the mission itself. So when you had enough of his professionalism, you decided to confront him.

Warning: Fluff

Cap's divulgence

Posted: July 31, 2021

Characters: Steve Rogers x GF!Reader

Summary: After six months of putting your relationship with Steve Rogers in much secrecy, the star-spangled man boyfriend of yours finally broke the news to everyone in a celebratory dinner.

Warning: Fluff

For a lifetime

Posted: August 2, 2021

Characters: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader // Groom!Bucky Barnes x Bride!Reader

Summary: You just got married to the man you love, and on the reception, you are asked to give a message to your husband.

Warning: Fluff

The only family he got

Posted: August 7, 2021

Characters: PostEndgame!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Bucky is still haunted by sadness after his pal, Steve Rogers, decided to live the life he never had with Peggy. He's very afraid that he'll choose the family he only got left, you.

Warning: Fluff

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes masterlist #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n

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wonwooslibrary · 2 years

Text

Delivery!

member: chwe hansol x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, past classmates to lovers, pizza delivery! au, college au

word count: 1998! for 1/2 of svt’s 98 liners!!

warnings: swearing, the reader likes pineapple on pizza lol

summary: after moving back to their hometown, y/n runs into their past classmate, hansol, unexpectedly, and the two bond over (and complain about) pizza

author’s note: yes, i am still alive lmao i’m so sorry i basically just posted my greaser jihoon au and then like- disappeared from the face of the earth. i also shall admit that this was something i was supposed to post way before i even did my svt hogwarts house things but...i never finished it lol BUT GOOD NEWS! me and a couple of my friends ( @woozisnoots and @gallivantingheart ) have started a network together called “K-Bookshelf”! Go check it out of you’re interested!!!

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“I’m just saying Y/N, being a theater major sucks. It’s so much work! And believe it or not but there are days that I just don’t feel like singing. But no. Seokmin can’t pick up my slack for one damn day of class.”

You sighed. “Why didn’t you just skip class today then?”

“You want me, the teacher’s pet, best singer in that class, to skip,” He stops walking and puts his hand on your forehead. “I think you’re getting sick. It’s time for you to just go back home, order your yucky pizza, and go to bed for the next week.”

“Trust me, if I could afford to do that, I would.”

The boy laughed, and put his arm over your shoulder. “I gotta go meet with my group for my songwriting class in the production studios. I’ll talk to you later?”

As you nod, you turn towards him, “Please try not to injure Jihoon too much. It��s not that he doesn’t like you—I’m sure he does—he just treats everyone like that.”

“I’ll try, I guess.” Your best friend hugs you goodbye, and heads off to the music building, as you leave campus to go towards your apartment.

By the time you get to your apartment, your roommates are gone, and looking around shocks you. How did we let this place get so messy? It’s not even finals week yet.

You went to place your bag down in your room, then started picking up the small home. The amount of pizza boxes that are sitting on top of textbooks is crazy, especially for an apartment shared by three people.

By the time you were done with your cleaning spree, your roommates were back and already shutting themselves in their rooms for the night. You took the advantage of the empty living room and piled your homework around you. I might as well do something with my time, you thought.

You looked at the clock. It was almost one in the morning. A perfect time for a late night pizza delivery.

You grabbed your phone and ordered your favorite pizza, and sat back, deciding to take a quick power nap before the pizza arrived.

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When the doorbell rang, you jumped off the couch. The ringing had awoken you, but you didn’t mind since that meant your precious food was here.

As the door opened, you saw a familiar face. One that was framed by curly brown hair: his eyes bright, and his smile growing.

“Hansol?” you looked at the boy in the bright red shirt and black jeans, his matching red hat backwards on his head so you are unable to see the logo on it.

“Oh! Y/N? I thought you left here a long time ago. I wasn’t expecting you to be back here so soon.”

You should probably explain this situation. You and Hansol went to high school together, but after graduation, Hansol decided to stay here, and you left to travel while being enrolled in college. After a while, traveling every other week became too much, and your lack of money was beginning to make decisions for you. So, you moved back to your hometown and continued going to your classes, but decided to go in person, which is where you met Seungkwan in your literature class. Now Hansol is apparently delivering your Hawaiian pizza to you at one in the morning on a Saturday.

“Uh yeah, I moved back here about a month ago. How long have you been uh,” you looked at the box that was still in his hands. “Delivering pizzas for?”

“About a month or two after we graduated, actually. Though I can confidently say that pizza just isn’t as good as it used to be for me.”

You laughed. “Well, thank you. Would you like to come in?” You gestured to the direction of the kitchen. Hansol puts his leg up and balances the box of pizza (that smells delicious, by the way) on his hand and his knee in order to pull his phone out of his pocket.

“Uh, sure. I have a couple of minutes before I have to be at the pizzeria again.” You smiled, and took the box from him. He follows you into your apartment and to the kitchen, where you place the box on the counter before going towards the cupboard and taking out two plates.

“Pizza?” you offered, opening the box.

He uses his pointer finger to open the box slightly before muttering “Disgusting.”

“Hey! Don’t hate on my pizza! Do you want some or not?”

“No way! Pineapple does not belong on pizza.”

You snorted. “Didn’t you know it was Hawaiian pizza? You delivered it.”

“Just because I deliver it doesn’t mean I open the box, that’s not what they pay me for!”

“Yeah, okay.” You took a slice of the pizza and bit into it, while Hansol kept his signature disgusted look on his face.

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After seeing Hansol (with your pizza) suddenly last week, you began noticing how often you actually passed by him on campus. You learned that he decided to go to college and pursue a career in music, but while getting an education, he thought it would be smart to get a job. You definitely couldn’t blame him, as lack of finances was the exact reason you're back in this town.

“Did you know that Hansol is still here?” you asked your other childhood friend, Chan.

“Yeah, actually. I see him a lot in the music building.”

“It makes sense that he’s there,” You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “I mean, he is a music major after all. The real question is why you are in the music building enough to see him that often, especially as a dance major.”

“Soonyoung, the leader of my dance team, goes to visit his roommate a lot during class and he brings me, Junhui and Minghao with him all the time. Jihoon is a producer. He actually works with both Seungkwan and Hansol a lot.”

“Wait—does that mean that Seungkwan and Hansol know each other?”

“Yeah, they’re working on a project or something together for one of their songwriting classes.”

Suddenly everything is starting to make sense. How did you not know Hansol and Seungkwan knew each other? Wow, you really need to start listening to Seungkwan more when he complains about his classes.

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“Hey, Y/N, I’m going to grab dinner later tonight with a group of friends. Do you want to join?”

You glanced up from the textbook you were hunting for citations in and looked at your friend, the library chair squeaking as you sat up.

“Sure, when?”

Seungkwan looked at his watch. “Let’s see…it’s almost 4 right now, and we agreed to meet at 6:30, so in about two and a half hours? Does that work for you?”

You smiled, “Yeah, it does.”

You and Seungkwan walked together from the library to dinner. You spend almost all of your weekend studying for your midterms, and you were looking forward to having good food and a break from shoving your face in your textbook.

When the two of you arrived, you noticed the very packed table. “How many people were invited to this dinner thing, anyway?” you questioned your best friend.

“About…14. Including you.”

You nodded and followed him to the table the large group was already sitting at. You knew a couple people there, such as Jihoon, the infamous producer, as well as Soonyoung and the rest of his dance team: Minghao, Junhui and Chan. You also noticed Seokmin from Seungkwan’s theater class.

Seungkwan quickly introduced you to the rest of the friend group. You were sitting on the edge of the rounded booth, next to Seungcheol: the business major and music minor who shares a couple of songwriting classes with Jihoon and Seungkwan.

“Where is Hansol? Has anyone seen him today?” Mingyu, the fashion major asked. “I checked the group chat but there is nothing from him.”

“I was texting him earlier,” Jihoon piped up. “He said he might be late doing deliveries today. He promised that he’d be here before 7 though--told us to get started without him.”

Hansol? Deliveries? Is Hansol…? That’s right, Chan said Hansol is friends with Jihoon and Seungkwan. It took a few minutes for it to click that Hansol was going to be here, too.

As soon as your brain wandered off to something that wasn’t Hansol, the bell above the door jingled and the thump thump thump of footsteps was heard throughout the restaurant and heads turned towards the sound.

There he was, Hansol in his red collared shirt and backwards hat. “I am so sorry I’m late again,” He looked over to you and smiled. “I was running late on deliveries, but luckily they didn’t last as long as expected.”

You motioned over to Seungcheol to scooch over a bit in the booth in order for you to make room for Hansol. He gratefully took a seat next to you.

“Have you all ordered yet?” he questioned.

“No,” you started. “Seungkwan and I just got here about 5 minutes ago. You aren’t that late.”

After you all ordered, everyone started their conversations within the group, and you opted to just sit out and observe the group. That is, until Hansol interrupted your listening.

“Hey, Y/N,” You looked to your left and glanced up at Hansol.

“Hey. I didn’t know you were friends with this group.”

“I mean, I didn’t know you were friends with Lee Chan still. I mean, it’s been how long? Four years?”

“Hansol. It’s only been two years.” You laughed at his forgetfulness.

"Really? It feels like it's been longer than that."

The two of you continued to talk, until the arrival of the food pulled you away from your conversation.

"What did you get, Y/N?"

"Oh uh. I got pizza."

"We go to a diner for dinner and you get the same food you get delivered to you every other day? Did you at least get a good type of pizza?"

You looked from him to your plate. "Uh…"

"You did not get Hawaiian pizza."

"Yeah, about that."

“I cannot believe you.”

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hansol🍕:

do you think these lyrics sound good?

[inserted_file.txt]

Y/N:

yeah, those lyrics are amazing, sollie!

Y/N:

is that for the songwriting class?

hansol🍕:

nope, jihoon is letting me use his studio. i’m only allowed fifteen minutes so….i need to hurry and record as soon as possible

hansol🍕:

I just wanted input before i used jihoon’s studio for the first and most likely last time

Y/N:

haha good luck sollie! i believe in you!!

hansol🍕:

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A couple of days after Hansol’s adventure of recording for the first time in Jihoon’s studio, he texted you everything that happened in the studio. Everywhere from making a mistake with his pronunciation to how many times Jihoon sneezed. It was fun to message him, as he was easily able to keep a conversation interesting.

Though, his constant “…” showing up and disappearing from your screen had you worried. That is, until your attention was drawn from that to the ringing doorbell. When you got to the door and opened it, you became confused.

Am I going crazy? Why did the doorbell ring if nobody is here?

Suddenly, your phone pinged. It was a message from Hansol.

hansol🍕:

look down.

Your eyes slowly moved from the text to the landing in front of your door. A pizza box was sitting there. You looked around a bit before picking it up and bringing it inside.

The box was placed safely on the counter in the kitchen when your phone pinged yet again.

hansol🍕:

open it.

You opened the box of your precious Hawaiian pizza, but instead of the random assortment of pineapples on the pizza, you took notice of the shapes they were carefully placed into.

“Date?” the pineapple slices spelled out.

Yes please, Hansol.

#caratwritersclub #kdiarynet #ficscafe #newskynet #kbookshelf #chwe hansol #chwe vernon #hansol vernon chwe #seventeen vernon #seventeen hansol #svt vernon #svt hansol #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fanfiction #svt fanfic #pls idek what this is but i think it's a good comeback

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everyonewasabird · 3 years

Text

Brickclub 4.3.7 ‘To Sadness, Sadness and a Half’

I so entirely love the fact that Cosette jumps straight into espionage levels of concealment and that she’s SO GOOD AT IT. I really believe she’s the only character who ever outsmarts and outplays post-bishop Valjean.

Meanwhile, Marius is absolutely awful at this and falls into every single trap Valjean lays. Which also has it’s charm--the comparison to Fantine and Tholomyes is still hovering over us, and the fact that both Marius and Cosette totally reverse the guile-levels of their same-gendered counterparts is a relief.

In this chapter we get one of the most hopeful lines in the entire brick:

Ten years later, with the love of Marius in her heart, she would have answered: "Pedantic and insupportable to the sight! you are quite right!"

Please, yes, let Cosette reach a calm place with opinions of her own and the ability to fondly make fun of Marius. It’s hard to see how we get there, but I’m holding it out as hope.

Once again we see Valjean in a terrible place. He’s gotten out of the prisons other people put him in and moved into prisons of his own making. I’m fascinated by the way as he descends this path he resembles Javert more and more:

It was no longer a man looking upon a man; it was not an enemy looking upon an enemy. It was a dog looking upon a robber.

Take that line out of context, and I’d be hard-pressed to remember that it was describing Valjean. There’s something uniquely two-sides-of-the-same-coin about the two of them.

And it’s all so incredibly unnecessary. The text says “Every condition has its instinct. The old and eternal mother, Nature, silently warned Jean Valjean of the presence of Marius,” treating it as something primal and innate. But all this is only the reality of the situation because it’s the interpretation Valjean has put on the situation. He’s creating all of this conflict himself. Before the convent, before he decided to place himself below Cosette and Cosette up on a pedestal, before he chose the dead version of his kid over the living one, there were other roads this could have gone down.

So many of Valjean’s darker traits are on display in this chapter. I love how much depth is here, even as I hate that it all has to go this way.

We’ve seen his egotism about his own goodness before, when he was rebelling against giving himself up for Champmathieu. But there’s a twist this time I think:

“I, after having been the most miserable of men, shall be the most unfortunate; I shall have spent sixty years of life upon my knees; I shall have suffered all that a man can suffer; I shall have grown old without having been young; I shall have lived with no family, no relatives, no friends, no wife, no children! I shall nave left my blood on every stone, on every thorn, on every post, along every wall; I shall have been mild, although the world was harsh to me, and good, although it was evil; I shall have become an honest man in spite of all; I shall have repented of the wrong which I have done, and pardoned the wrongs which have been done to me, and the moment that I am rewarded, the moment that it is over, the moment that I reach the end, the moment that I have what I desire, rightfully and justly; I have paid for it, I have earned it; it will all disappear, it will all vanish, and I shall lose Cosette, and I shall lose my life, my joy, my soul”

This is worse than egotism--Cosette is suddenly an article for sale, which he purchased. Like: yes, he did literally pay for her, and yes he has suffered, but fucking hell, don’t think about your kid this way! Don’t think about ANYBODY this way!

And the “the moment that I reach the end” is telling, too. It’s all about him wanting this to be the end of the story, as if a living child could ever be the end of a story.

And in this chapter we see how Valjean’s trauma has impacted his parenting and therefore impacted Cosette. She’s started to imitate his self-abnegation, lack of communication, and suffering for the sake of others, because it’s the only way either of them knows how to get what they want. She wants to go back to the Luxembourg--so of course she feels that the best way to get what she wants is never to say a word about it. What would her papa do? Probably exactly that. In fact, he’s doing that right now.

And the awful part is, she really may not be wrong.

The chapter ends on the two of them becoming more and more miserable while they smile at each other for each other’s sake. And of course that alienation is in itself yet another wedge between them. Neither of them has the slightest idea how to communicate what they want or need, and there’s nowhere they can get the resources to learn that.

Also, I’ve just seen the title of the next chapter, and oof.

#brickclub #lm 4.3.7 #:(

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ultimatetrashyfanfic · 3 years

Text

Still loving Komahina and I also love hurt/comfort sickfics so this was pretty inevitable. Nagito is very good for sickfics. Anyway, I wanted to show these two trying to navigate a bad illness and all the frightening and sometimes embarrassing things that come with that. Post-hope arc again. With fluff because I can’t NOT do fluff. I hope you enjoy it - Circle

Also on A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34280557

Warning: descriptions of vomiting (I didn’t describe the puke itself or anything, don’t worry, I’m emetophobic myself) and high fevers/vague descriptions of medical procedures.

Hajime noticed at the beach this time - and just like every time, he kicked himself for not noticing before he’d made Nagito leave the cabin. He thought back to when Nagito stumbled as they walked across the island, about how he’d chased every meagre bite of breakfast with a gulp of water like it was difficult to get down. Hajime hadn’t been vigilant enough, and now they were sitting together on the sand and Nagito was leaning far too heavily against his shoulder.

“Nagito?” Hajime said cautiously. When Nagito turned his head, Hajime hastily put a hand to his forehead, managing to catch it before Nagito veered away. “I knew it. You’re burning up.”

Some old routine. Nagito would deflect, then grow self-deprecating; Hajime would shut that down, then begrudgingly carry Nagito back to their cabin. They’d done this dance together over and over, whenever Nagito’s weakened state and illness made something like a common cold seem as serious as smallpox.

It didn’t seem so bad for the next couple of days. Nagito had a fever, but it was a low one, and he ate when Hajime asked and seemed alert and talkative. Hajime felt comfortable leaving him in the care of their friends while he went to Mikan for medicine and advice - though his friends proved to need supervision of their own. He returned to his cabin just as Sonia and Gundham were leaving, reassured when Sonia reported that Nagito wasn’t any worse. At the time, he didn’t notice the splashes of brown paint on Gundham’s bandages or Sonia’s dress.

Hajime stopped short when he stepped over the threshold. There was a gigantic swirly witchy symbol covering almost the whole wall above the bed, the heavy smell of paint in the air. Nagito was peeping over the top of the bedsheets, eyes sparkling.

“What the hell is that?” Hajime couldn’t even sound angry. He was just bloody tired. Why were the Ultimates so dramatic?

“Sonia and Gundham did a ritual for my good health,” Nagito explained. His lip twitched and Hajime knew he was fighting a smile. “I was so honoured to have two Ultimates working to help me that I thought it’d be unspeakably ungrateful to protest.”

“Oh, shut up, Nagito! I can see you just think it’s funny,” Hajime snapped. Nagito snorted and disappeared under the sheets, spluttering.

Hajime sighed and took another look at the giant eyesore on his wall. At least it was painted fairly neatly - and he knew Gundham and Sonia’s hearts were in the right places even if this particular stunt was irritating. He supposed they were trying to help in a weird way. Sonia went along with anything Gundham said, and Hajime didn’t expect Gundham to know you shouldn’t paint giant symbols on other people’s walls without permission. Gundham navigated social interactions like he was going into battle; Hajime doubted he would ask permission for something he clearly saw as a good deed.

“Doesn’t it make your boring plain wall more interesting?” Nagito piped up.

“Don’t push your luck, Nagito.”

“Right. Who knows what pushing my luck will do.”

Later on, Hajime would worry that he’d jinxed them somehow, that whatever strange force was behind Nagito’s Ultimate Luck was malevolent and wanted to teach them a lesson for mocking it - because that night brought disaster. Nagito was usually exceptionally clingy when they were in bed, often to the point where Hajime got so warm he had to pry him off, but now he curled up right on the very edge of the mattress, well away from Hajime. Hajime knew he was awake from his strangely measured breaths and his unusual stillness; Nagito was a restless sleeper. He frequently kicked Hajime in the night and rolled right on top of him and yanked the blankets away. Sometimes Hajime felt like he’d get more sleep on a busy runway as airplanes roared overhead.

Hajime poked Nagito in the back, careful not to tip him right off the bed. “Hey. What’s up?”

He didn’t get a response. Hajime sighed. “Do you think I’m stupid? I know you’re not asleep. You never sleep like that. So what’s going on?”

He wound his arms around Nagito’s waist and tried to pull him closer to get a better look at him, but Nagito winced and slapped his hands away with surprising force. “Don’t,” he gasped, curling up even tighter. “Don’t press…”

“What? Is it your stomach?” This was new. Nagito had been off his food lately, but then he frequently found it difficult to eat. “Do you feel nauseous?”

Silence. Getting information from Nagito was like getting blood from a stone sometimes. Hajime felt Nagito’s forehead in the gloom. His fever had definitely gone up and his skin was clammy. Hajime let his fingers trail down Nagito’s cheeks to his jawline and felt along his neck - the lymph nodes were so swollen they felt like two throbbing ping pong balls.

“Fuck,” Hajime muttered. “I thought we might get through this one without anything too bad.”

He was expecting some strange rambling about how this bad luck would inspire them to hope for good things in the future, but Nagito still didn’t speak. He rolled over and shuffled across the bed, tucking his burning head right under Hajime’s chin. It worried Hajime more than any words could; Nagito didn’t actively seek out comfort unless he was feeling really terrible.

“Hey,” Hajime mumbled, having to spit out a mouthful of Nagito’s unruly curls. “Ugh, your hair keeps getting in my mouth. Look, I know you’re sick and I’m sure it must feel crappy, but you’ll be okay. You’ll probably feel better by tomorrow morning. Right?” Hajime knew he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as Nagito.

More silence. Hajime could feel Nagito shivering, and wound his arms around him quickly. He usually teased Nagito for being so chilly all the time, needing his jacket whenever the sun dipped behind the clouds and getting goose pimples in the air conditioned cabins, but it didn’t seem remotely funny anymore. Nagito trembled like he was buried up to his neck in snow, but he certainly didn’t feel cold.

“You’re burning up. Fuck, I think I need to get Mikan,” Hajime said. He felt a hand shoot out and grab hold of his t-shirt, clinging for dear life. Hajime knew he could easily pry Nagito off, but he couldn’t bring himself to try at a time like this. “Okay, don’t freak out. I’ll stay. But I’m going if you get any worse.”

It was after midnight when the vomiting started. They’d already been in the bathroom since eleven, huddled together on the floor by the toilet, sharing a blanket. Nagito kept sleepily begging Hajime to go back to bed and leave him there, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Shut up,” he mumbled. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t be here with me if our roles were reversed.”

“That’s different. You’re you and I’m me,” Nagito whispered. He let his burning head rest against Hajime’s shoulder despite his pleading.

“It shouldn’t be different though. It’s not different, not to me. You’re sick and I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway if I knew you were in here on your own feeling miserable.”

“You have such a kind heart, Hajime. To think you could care so much about someone as worthless as I am.”

“Nagito. If you don’t stop that I’m going to shove your head down the toilet and flush, no matter how sick you are,” Hajime threatened. “You’re not worthless. For the millionth time.”

“You’d think you’d have got tired of saying that by now,” Nagito said.

“I have. Very fucking tired. But I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. Now shut up and try to get some rest. And let me know when you need to throw up. You’re in a position right now that would have you puking down my front and it’s making me nervous.”

Thankfully, Nagito was exceptionally neat about it when he did have to lean over the toilet to vomit. Hajime hooked his white curls back behind his ears and tried not to groan too much. It was unpleasant, obviously, but it was clear Nagito was the one suffering the most right now. He didn’t need Hajime moaning in his ear for him to hurry up - and as the minutes ticked by Hajime found his embarrassment and mild disgust morphing into anxiety. He knew Nagito hadn’t had much to eat these past few days, but the retching and heaving went on well after Nagito had nothing left to bring up. Nagito’s cheeks grew flushed and blotchy, and it wasn’t long before Hajime was the only thing holding him up over the loo, his arms wound around Nagito’s chest. He could feel Nagito’s heart pounding hard against his arms, on and on.

“Come on,” Hajime said eventually. “I’ll get you a bucket or something. You’re not really throwing anything up now anyway. You need to lie down.”

Nagito didn’t respond. He was breathing heavily, his face dripping with sweat. He was gripping the porcelain so hard his knuckles bleached white. Hajime had to pry off his fingers one by one.

“Come on,” he repeated. “I’ll get you something to wipe your face. I know you feel miserable but you can’t stay tethered to the toilet until you die.” He scooped Nagito up into his arms, cradling him as carefully as a newborn. Nagito felt frighteningly hot and damp.

Shaky arms wound around Hajime’s neck and a weak, hoarse voice whispered into his ear. “Death would be welcome at this point…”

“Stop it,” Hajime said firmly. “Don’t go all melodramatic on me. You sound like Gundham.” He carried Nagito to the bed and ran a cloth under the tap. “Here. Shall I do it for you? Then you don’t have to sit up.”

Nagito didn’t react, staring up at the ceiling. He seemed to decide to ignore Hajime at will, and it annoyed him almost as much as Nagito’s self-deprecation.

“Fine, don’t talk to me,” Hajime snapped. “I’ll scrub your face like a baby if you’re going to act like one.” Despite his tone, Hajime ran the damp cloth over Nagito’s skin with unbelievable care and tenderness, going carefully around his eyes and mouth.

Nagito’s eyes flickered over to him. “Well, Nurse Hinata, what’s your diagnosis? Is it curtains for me now? Is this world finally finished with me?”

“No! God, I’ve never known anybody so dramatic,” Hajime said angrily. “It’s just a little stomach flu or something like that. Don’t be so stupid.” He was almost shouting now. It was far easier to get angry than to admit to Nagito that he was scared too, that the knot of panic in his chest was getting tighter by the minute.

Nagito stared at him pityingly. Hajime wanted to slap him and clasp him close all at once.

“I’m going to get Mikan.” He turned to leave, but felt a clammy hand grasp his wrist and hold it with a surprisingly firm, desperate strength. Hajime turned back. “Nagito..?”

Nagito had his head bent, his lips pressed together. He didn’t speak, but he clung to Hajime’s wrist so tightly his fingernails dug in.

“But we need help. I’ll be as fast as I can, I promise. I’ll run all the way,” Hajime tried.

The hand squeezed even tighter.

“Oh fucking hell,” Hajime groaned. “Okay, I won’t leave. But we still need help, so you need to let me go for a second, okay? I promise I won’t go past the door to the cabin.”

A pause. Then Nagito slowly unclamped his fingers and let Hajime break free. He immediately flew to the cabin door, opened it wide and took a deep, long breath inwards. “HEY!” he bellowed, as loud as he could possibly manage. His voice boomed through the still night air. “WE NEED HELP! COME OUT AND HELP US!”

He yelled the same simple lines over and over until a door opened. He’d rather hoped for somebody sensible like Twogami or Mahiru; he ended up with Kazuichi. It made sense really - the sensible people would be asleep at three in the morning, and Kazuichi’s cabin was directly across from Hajime’s.

“What the hell are you screaming about, Hajime?” Kazuichi whined, scrubbing his eyes. His hands were covered with oil and he smeared it across his cheeks. It looked like he was wearing bad war paint. He’d doubtless been hunched over some project he was working on. It usually annoyed Hajime to see his friend neglecting vital things like sleep for his machines, but he was grateful for Souda’s insomnia tonight.

“Kazuichi, come over here, I need your help. Nagito is sick. Like, really sick. I need you to go get Mikan. Please.”

“What? Why can’t you do it?” Kazuichi said indignantly.

“I just… I don’t want to leave him alone, okay?!” Hajime muttered, flustered.

“Awww, Hajime! You loooove him,” Kazuichi cried, spluttering with laughter.

Hajime heard Nagito snort behind him too. He must’ve heard. He felt his cheeks flush crimson. “Kazuichi, will you just fucking go before I throttle you!”

“Stop yelling at me, I’m doing you a favour!” Kazuichi cried, looking wounded - but he ran off in the direction of Mikan’s cabin obediently.

None of them slept much that night. Mikan worked diligently, trying antibiotics and saline drips and ice packs, but she couldn’t get Nagito’s fever down, getting more and more tearfully apologetic as if she was personally blighting him herself. “His fever is dangerously high. We have to find a way of lowering it,” she muttered over and over like a mantra, shaking her head.

Anti-nausea drugs stopped the persistent stomach pains, but Nagito was clearly far from comfortable. He stopped smirking and teasing Hajime, stopped laughing at Kazuichi’s silly jokes. He stopped putting himself down and babbling about how the four Ultimates were so full of kindness and hope to be fussing so much over someone like him. He just stared vacantly up at the ceiling, his eyes foggy and over-bright, his cheeks flushed.

They each toiled in their own way until dawn, when they finally collapsed with exhaustion, squashing up together on Hajime’s bed. They lay there undisturbed until Twogami came looking for them, concerned by the absences at breakfast. He shook Hajime awake, wanting to know why there were four people curled around each other like puppies on his bed, but all Hajime could focus on was Nagito. His head was resting on Hajime’s chest, burning hot through his shirt. The fever was still there. He’d woken up but the nightmare was still going.

It was a mercy that Twogami found them. He sent Mikan off to sleep in her own cabin and made Hajime give a detailed account of the previous night (he let Kazuichi remain asleep at the foot of the bed. Twogami knew he wouldn’t sleep again if he was disturbed, and he wasn’t in the way).

“If he gets any worse, we might have to contact Future Foundation,” Twogami said thoughtfully. “They’ll have more complex medical equipment.”

“We don’t need them,” Hajime snapped. “Especially Makoto.”

He’d thought Kazuichi was still sleeping, but he snorted. “Because Nagito gushes over Makoto. That’s why you don’t like him,” he mumbled sleepily, sitting up.

“Shut up, you hypocrite. Why didn’t you like Gundham before?” Hajime argued.

“I don’t know why you get so fussed, Makoto looks a lot like you.”

“He doesn’t!”

Twogami sighed and crossed his arms like an exasperated parent. “If you two want to bicker you can go do it outside. Nagito needs peace and quiet.” He sounded like a parent too, and the other men quietened immediately and focused on Nagito again.

Nagito didn’t seem to wake up properly. He could open his eyes (though this looked like it was taking an extreme amount of effort) but he didn’t speak or even react very much when somebody spoke to him. He barely blinked when Hajime tried to make him sip water or Kazuichi tapped on his cheek and called his name. Mikan was forced to give him fluids intravenously. When the afternoon brought no improvements, Hajime let Twogami contact Future Foundation for better medicine.

Hajime spent another anxious, sleepless night desperately holding Nagito - though he didn’t feel like Nagito. He hadn’t spoken a single word all day, and though Hajime was trying to be optimistic, he could feel panic pooling in his stomach like oil. Would the medicine get here in time? Would it even work? Nagito was so sick, as sick as he’d been with that awful Despair Disease. Hajime remembered how he’d left Nagito alone then; he wouldn’t make that mistake this time. He’d be there for Nagito - if he was even aware of Hajime at this point. It seemed less and less likely. He wasn’t even opening his eyes now. All Hajime could do was hold him, hold onto this lifeless, unresponsive husk that sucked in shallow breaths far too fast. He wondered if the real Nagito was somewhere deep inside, floating aimlessly, or if the fever had fried his brain completely and obliterated the strange, smart, fascinating person Hajime knew. No, surely he was being stupid. It couldn’t be that bad, right? Unless Mikan and Twogami were just being tactful. Maybe they both expected Nagito to perish and just didn’t want to snuff out Hajime’s hope. He clutched the burning body tighter.

“Don’t you dare die,” he whispered fiercely, cupping Nagito’s cheeks. “I mean it. Not after everything that’s happened. You can’t just give up now. You woke up once before. It took you the longest of everyone, but you still came back. Do it again, because I’ll lose my fucking mind if anyone else dies. You’d better fight this.” His eyes burned. Several tiny droplets of water fell onto Nagito’s face.

Hajime waited. He silently begged Nagito to open his eyes, whisper something coherent, clutch his hand… but nothing happened. Hajime held him all night, terrified of drifting off to sleep in case he woke up and found Nagito stone cold and white and still. He’d found Nagito dead once. Bloody and bound, his eyes bulging with pain… No. It wasn’t real, even if it felt real. It wasn’t real it wasn’t real it wasn’t real.

Morning brought the stronger medicine from the Future Foundation. Twogami explained what it was and how it worked, but Hajime was so fuzzy-headed with lack of sleep and stress that he didn’t take any of it in.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Twogami said doubtfully. “Mikan set up the IV so you don’t have to worry about anything. You could leave one of us here, go get some rest.” He tried for ten minutes to convince him, but Hajime shook his head.

“I can’t leave him. Not until he’s better.”

“You’re so stubborn. At this rate we’ll need to start nursing you along with him,” Twogami muttered, but he left them alone. Mikan left as soon as she could too, apologising even more than usual. Maybe Hajime had been glaring at her? It wasn’t her fault, he just had a splitting headache, but he obviously couldn’t leave to go apologise. Not now.

Time had started to blur. Minutes crawled by like days, but then suddenly an entire hour could disappear in a second. Hajime stayed sitting by Nagito’s side, periodically holding his hand, begging him to squeeze his back. Nagito lay still, but his breathing had evened out considerably since he’d been given this new medication. Hajime tried tickling at his cheeks and smoothing back his hair and Nagito twitched and sighed - tiny reactions, but they were reactions. Hajime hardly dared let himself hope and he definitely didn’t dare let himself sleep, though he was so tired now he had shooting pains behind his eyes.

Later - much later - Kazuichi came back, bringing Hajime toast and coffee. He looked startled by the state he was in. “Good God, Hajime, you look worse than Nagito!”

“Thanks a bunch,” Hajime grumbled. He didn’t touch the toast but took a grateful gulp of coffee.

“Seriously, bro, when did you last sleep? Or eat? Or… shower?” Kazuichi asked, sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed.

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Have you seriously not slept since he got sick?”

“How can I?” Hajime snapped. “Will you please stop bleating obvious questions at me, Kazuichi. Yes, I’m fucking tired and hungry and I look like shit right now, I know. But I’m trying to make sure my boyfriend doesn’t die right in front of me, so forgive me if I can’t give much of a fuck about anything else! I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now. So can you please just shut up or fuck off!” He was practically screaming by the end of it. Part of him really wanted Kazuichi to yell back, start a real fight; he was so tired and so frustrated and it was so easy to take it out on Kazuichi.

But Souda didn’t argue. He didn’t speak, but his eyes filled up and he ducked his head to hide his quivering lips. Hajime felt a sudden wave of shame wash over his head. He didn’t want to make Kazuichi cry (even if that was pretty easy to do).

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, putting his head in his hands. “Yes, I’m tired. Tired and miserable. It’s not your fault.”

“I know you’re tired. I thought I could stay here. Keep watch over Nagito for a bit. You can sleep next to him,” Kazuichi said, his voice cracking.

Hajime felt worse than ever. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He grabbed Kazuichi and pulled him into a clumsy hug. “You’re a good friend. Better than me.”

“I’m your best friend, right?” Kazuichi asked hopefully. “You’re not just being nice? Am I actually just annoying?”

“You are annoying. But you’re still my best friend.”

Kazuichi grinned. “Okay. And you’ll get some rest now? I think you really need it, Hajime. You’re so grouchy when you’re tired.”

Hajime rather wanted to grumble about that comment, but he didn’t want to prove Souda’s point. “You’ll wake me up if anything changes with Nagito? Even something tiny. Even if you’re not sure it’s a change, can you wake me up to check?”

“Yes. God, you’re worse than Peko with Fuyuhiko. Do you really love him, Hajime?” Kazuichi asked.

“Look, we’re not at a pre-teen sleepover, Kazuichi. I don’t want to sit here with you and gossip about boys,” Hajime said, shuffling close to Nagito. He wasn’t sure - maybe it was wishful thinking - but he thought Nagito’s body was slightly cooler.

“See what I mean. Grumpy,” Kazuichi mumbled.

Hajime didn’t bother to reply this time. He didn’t think he’d manage to get a wink of sleep with all the stress and worry, but he was out like a light almost immediately, so exhausted he didn’t even dream. He wasn’t sure how long Kazuichi kept vigil at their bedside (several hours, he guessed. Kazuichi was a good friend) but he was gone when Hajime opened his eyes. The silvery dawn light was filtering in through the windows, bathing their furniture in a soft glow. Something was burrowing into Hajime’s chest like a small animal.

“Nagito..?” Hajime mumbled, still half-asleep.

“Of course. Who else do you invite into bed, Hajime?”

“Nobody, dumbass.” Then it clicked and Hajime was instantly awake, peering through the dim light. Nagito truly was awake, looking very pale and sleepy and weak, but his eyes were open. Hajime clutched onto him at once, holding him as tight as he dared. Nagito felt as fragile as glass, like he might shatter altogether if Hajime squeezed too hard.

“Careful, you’ll yank my IV out,” Nagito mumbled, but he buried his face into Hajime’s shoulder too. His skin was still clammy, still warm, but not that terrifying burning anymore. Nagito felt clammy all over. “You should wait till I’ve showered before we do all the tearful reunions.”

“Shut up. I need a shower too,” Hajime said hoarsely. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Fuck, it’s good to see you awake and talking.”

“How long was I out?”

“Several days. How much do you remember?”

Nagito paused. “I remember the night Mikan and Kazuichi came. It gets a bit muddled after that. Someone tried to make me drink quite a few times. Nothing much then. Except…”

“Except?”

“Perhaps I was dreaming. I couldn’t imagine somebody caring so much for someone like-”

“Oh Christ, I haven’t missed that,” Hajime groaned. “Just tell me what you remember!”

“You. Your voice, telling me not to die. Though it sounded more like you were threatening me not to die. And something dripping on me.”

Hajime felt his face flushing. It seemed like years ago that he’d hovered over Nagito and frantically begged him to keep fighting. “Trust you to remember something embarrassing like that.”

“Were you truly crying?”

“What else would I be doing? Drooling on you?”

“You hardly ever cry.”

“I’ve never seen you that sick before,” Hajime admitted. He held Nagito in the hug so he couldn’t see his face. It was somehow easier to blurt it all out in the gloomy morning half-light. “It was… fucking horrible. I didn’t dare sleep. I haven’t felt scared like that since the simulation. I thought I was going to lose you… just like Chiaki.”

There was a long, pregnant pause. Hajime could feel Nagito’s breath tickling against his neck.

“We smell awful,” Nagito finally whispered.

Hajime started spluttering with laughter. “For God’s sake! Can’t you ever be serious?”

“You know I don’t have any idea how to comfort people. But… you shouldn’t worry so much when I get sick. Not just because I’m me, but because my luck usually comes through for me eventually. It hasn’t let me die yet. Well, except in the simulation.”

“Shut up. Don’t talk about that,” Hajime said quickly. “Izuru has luck too. So that should mean I’m stuck with you forever.”

He rather expected Nagito to shoot back with some sort of self-deprecating response like “poor you” but Nagito was silent for a while. He was practically in Hajime’s lap now, his skinny legs wound around Hajime’s waist.

“Thank you.”

“Hm?” The words were so quiet Hajime barely heard.

“Thank you for taking care of me. Nobody has ever done that before,” Nagito said, his voice as light and delicate as the dawn. He still found it so hard to accept things like this. He’d spent so many years building walls around him and then Hajime had come along and blasted through them in an instant. Nagito felt raw and vulnerable and exposed - but there was a warm feeling in his stomach too, new and unfamiliar.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” Hajime promised.

“You’ll probably have to. My immune system is awful.”

“Then I will. Needing things isn’t bad, Nagito. You’re not meant to do things all alone.”

“The thing we need right now is a wash.”

“Yes. We’d better get that over with first,” Hajime agreed - but despite their words they both remained in their embrace, clinging to each other with desperate strength, long after that sun had risen properly.

#danganronpa #danganronpa sdr2 #dr sickfic #sickfic #dr emeto #emeto tw #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #kazuichi soda #danganronpa 2 #komahina #mod circle

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yusuke-of-valla · 3 years

Text

Peace of Mind

Whumptober Day 3 Prompt: “Who did this to you?”

Summary: Shiho decides to find out what Ann is keeping from her.

Wordcount: 1330

TW: Mentions of Kamoshida, mentions of abuse, nothing explicit.

AO3

Ann, bless her heart, is a terrible liar.

She passes of cuts and bruises as “work out trainging” or clumsiness, but Shiho isn’t stupid. She knows Ann is lying to her and that hurts. Wasn’t keeping secrets from each other what caused all the trouble with Kamoshida?

The voice of Shiho’s therapist reminds her that Kamoshida is responsible for all that trouble with Kamoshida, but even if that’s true, that thought doesn’t help. Her therapist says it will, eventually, but eventually isn’t good enough because Ann’s being hurt now.

They go for a walk and Ann can barely keep up because she’s so sore. Shiho slows down to keep pace, and asks, gently, if everything’s alright.

“Everything’s great!” Ann says, cheery as always, and something in Shiho’s heart twists because Ann means it. She’s lying when she says she got knocked over at a photo shoot or that she cut herself cooking, but she’s telling the truth when she says things are fine.

Ann’s getting hurt and she thinks it’s fine.

Shiho wants to be sick.

Her parents are touchy about her going anywhere near Shujin, so the school is a no go. Instead, she hangs around Shibuya keeping an eye out for familiar faces before she finally spots Ryuji. She weaves through the crowd, trying to catch up with him and breathes a sigh of relief when he finally stops near the accessway.

Shiho finally manages to catch up with him when the world rips itself apart.

The people disappear and Shiho stops cold. The sky is red suddenly, and the air feels wrong. On the bright side, Shiho now has a clearer view of Ryuji. Ryuji who is... wearing a strange costume? And also with a bunch of other strange looking people. There’s someone with a mop of black fluffy hair… Kurusu? And then there’s one in a catsuit with twintails and.

Oh.

Ooooooooooooh.

Ann is a Phantom Thief. They’re all Phantom Thieves. Shiho kind of hates how much sense it makes. Because of course Ann would fight Kamoshida for her. And given that they have weapons, it probably involves fighting somehow?

Well, that answers some of Shiho’s questions. It raises many many more but at least she now understands why Ann was lying. She isn’t sure it’s safe though and Shiho… really wants Ann to be safe. So, while Ann and the others are busy discussing something, Shiho slips behind a post so they can’t see her. She’s not going to stay long, she just wants to get a sense of how much danger Ann is in for herself, since Ann is clearly willing to downplay things for Shiho’s sake.

And what do you intend to do if she is in grave danger? You think you’ll be able to stop her?

Shiho’s nails bite into her palms. She… she doesn’t want to be kept in the dark at least. Even if she can’t stop Ann, she wants to know. The Phantom Thieves start down the stairs and Shiho follows closely, trying to match their pace, but that doesn’t last long.

The tunnels don’t have nearly as much space to hide, so Shiho has to stay behind a bit further so she can hide behind corners and hidden areas. Still, she manages to keep up.

Or she thinks she does, but she ends up in an open area and they’ve all disappeared.

“Are you serious?” Shiho moans. Gah, this is probably why they’re called “Phantom” Thieves. Her best bet at this point is probably to turn back the way she came when there’s movement out of the corner of her eye.

Shiho brandishes the baseball bat she brought (what you thought she would go to investigate her best friend's mysterious injuries and not show up ready for a fight?)

“Who’s there!”

“I think I could ask you that first.” One of the Phantom Thieves slips out of the shadows -- one of the ones Shiho doesn’t recognize, a tall guy wearing blue. “You’ve been following us since the station. Who are you?”

“I’m-“

“Shiho?!” Both of them turn to see Ann leave her hiding spot. Shiho has a good look at Ann’s outfit which is uh… very reminiscent of the types of outfits supervillains on shows Shiho really enjoyed watching used to wear. Shiho’s thankful for the red lighting of wherever they are because that’s probably hiding her blushing.

Probably.

Hopefully.

“What are you doing here?” Ann asks.

“Uh… making sure you’re alright?” Shiho says, fumbling with her bat. “I mean you were clearly lying about the bruises and the injuries so I just wanted to know.”

The rest of them have caught up now and Ryuji looks at Shiho’s bat. “Wait, were you planning to investigate Ann’s injuries and just… start swingin’ if you found out who caused them?”

“Yes.”

“Hell yeah!” Ryuji puts his hand up and Shiho returns his high five.

“Let’s not encourage people rushing into danger unprepared,” a thief who kind of looks like -- oh what was her name? Niijima! That’s right, -- the student council president says.

“Isn’t that literally what you did three days ago?” Kurusu replies.

The thief-who-is-probably-Niijima’s face goes red under her mask. “Well yes, and I think we can all agree that was a bad decision.”

“We can catch up later,” the tiny... cat thief thing? (Wait -- no. He’s a literal Cat Burglar!) who Shiho completely missed says. “Hanging around too long in one spot is dangerous, especially with someone who can’t fight.”

“I’m not helpless.” Shiho says. She wants to sound tough, but it sounds like she’s pouting, even to her.

“Mona didn’t mean it that way,” Ann says, placing an arm on Shiho’s shoulder. “Let’s just go.”

That should be the end of it. They pile into the cat burglar (Mona’s)? My Neighbor Totoro-inspired bus form, and they leave Shiho at the entrance and Shiho continues worrying over Ann, even though she knows what’s going on now.

Ah, but how often are things that simple?

They’re almost at the exit when some huge hulking mass barrels into the side of the bus, and suddenly the group is surrounded by strange looking monsters. Ann and Ryuji waste no time putting Shiho between the two of them. Niijima is doing something to help the unconscious Mona. One of the monsters sends out a blast that chills Shiho to the bone. The tall one whose name Shiho hasn’t learned looks takes it the best of them, standing tall and immediately going in to counter attack.

Ann and Kurusu take it the worst, in taking sharp breaths and shivering due to the cold. Shiho rushes to Ann’s side, taking off her jacket and putting it over Ann.

As if that will help.

Ryuji’s looking at Kurusu, incredibly concerned, but throws a look back at Shiho. He’s tense. Shiho’s heart gets caught in her throat. He doesn’t want to leave her. He wants to protect her.

Because she’s always getting protected, isn’t she?

Hmm it seems as though you can’t do anything.

The words are true, and they are devastating. But still, Shiho grits her teeth and stands up. “No. I can do something. There has to be something.”

Suddenly, pain rips through her skull. She doesn’t flinch though, because even if it’s excruciating, well. She’s felt worse.

Very good. If it seems like there are no paths before you, ‘tis best to cut your own, isn’t it? If we’re in agreement, shall we forge our contract?

Shiho’s hands find her face, and after digging her nails beneath the hunk of metal in front of her eyes, it’s easy to rip it off.

“Isabel! I need you!”

A burst of energy shakes the very foundations of the tunnel they’re in. There’s a large disk in Shiho’s hand, a gem that shines a brilliant blue even amidst the red light of the tunnel placed in the center. She doesn’t really understand what just happened, and she doesn’t care.

Shiho Suzui is going to fight.

#whumptober2021 #no.3 #who did this to you #persona 5 #fic #mentions of abuse #alto writes #shiho suzui #shihoann #wordcount: 1000-1500 #'oh this'll just be a quick Shiho awakening fic!'#narrator: it was not quick #phantom thief Shiho #First yusuke appearance of the month everyone! How long til he suffers #(spoiler alert: it's gonna be like 3-4 days)

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quokkacore · 4 years

Text

lost and found [bang chan]

summary: looking for your soulmate is difficult to do when you’re also looking after your daughter. but on a chance shopping trip, when you lose her, you end up finding her, and your soulmate, whose soft smile and cute dimples offer a lot of promise.

pairing: musician!chan x singlemom!reader

genre: soulmates au, slice of life, meet-cute, holiday special-ish?, fluff, minor angst towards the beginning.

warnings: brief mentions of kidnapping, language, eating

song rec: exo - wait // chen - shall we?

word count: 2.1k

a/n: helena writing something that isnt angsty or smutty? apparently thats possible. december is gonna be pure winter fics says the girl who lives in a country where its SUMMER but go off and i’m posting a two part exo fic tht i’m rlly excited for on christmas eve and christmas day, so pls look forward to tht ^^

It only took a minute. It felt like even less. You turned your head to look for a sales employee, and let go of your 4 year old daughter’s hand to grab the hand she was holding onto to look through the shirts you were going through. Your eyes and hands were off of Annie for the briefest of moments, and when you reached out again, when you turned your head to look downward… gone. Like the wind.

That had been ten minutes ago. Now, you were wandering around the department store like you had gone crazy. To a certain degree, you had. Don’t panic if you lose sight of your kid, all the parenting articles had said. So naturally, you were doing exactly that. Once your mind got the gears turning, it was hard to get them to stop. Your inner pessimist was already whispering to you, what if she left the building? What if some creep snatched her up? What if she had gotten hurt?

Why couldn’t you have just stayed home on your day off? Why did you have to decide to haul yourself and your daughter along to the mall to do your holiday shopping today? You were immediately beginning to regret every decision you’d made in the past few hours, tears prickling in your eyes and a lump beginning to grow in your throat.

You wondered vaguely if she’d left the department store and was now wandering around the mall. That could be an entirely different possibility. You’d gone around the department store twice now, not seeing a single sight of her. Your grip tightened on her winter coat—which she had given to you when it got too warm for her from being inside—and started looking for a security guard instead. Maybe they could call out to the other security guards in the mall and keep a lookout.

Just as you spotted one, beginning to think of what you could say to give a physical description—her hair and eye color, which were both the same as your own, the red t-shirt she had on, the jeans, her height—a notification bell rang throughout the department store on the speaker system.

“To Annie’s mom, Y/N,” The woman on the PA system said, “Your daughter is at the help desk at the north entrance of the building.”

A swell of relief swept through you as she repeated the announcement one more time, and your feet, of their own volition, started towards the exit of the department store. What a fucking relief. You had entered toward that side of the building; meaning, yes, she’d left the store, but she hadn’t gone too far. Your heart was racing, sprinting towards the entrance. Your eyes darted back and forth, desperately waiting for the desk to come into sight as you rounded the corner.

When you turned, your eyes caught sight of your little girl, Annie, standing in front of the desk, teary-eyed, next to a young man in a black hoodie, watching her quietly. Your feet sped up, and when you were about fifteen feet away from the desk, your daughter turned her head to the sound of quick feet making a mad dash across the floor. Her eyes widened, and her little feet shot in your direction. “Mommy!”

She ran up to you, and you crouched to grab her in your arms, engulfing her in a hug that felt like it was more for your sake than for hers. You could feel a giant weight falling off of your shoulders as he sniffled against your shoulder. You found yourself having to blink tears out of your eyes. Pulling away a few seconds later, you wiped away a stray tear trickling down your little girl’s cheek.

“Honey, you can’t just walk away from me like that,” You murmured shakily, “I was so worried.”

“‘M sorry, mommy,” She sighed in a small voice, lower lip wobbling. Your heart clenched at how upset she was, and you put your hand on her cheek to calm her down. “Wanted t’go look at the toys. But I didn’t see you ‘nymore after.”

You sighed, pursing your lips. “I’m so glad you’re safe. How did you find your way to the desk?”

Annie turned her head, wide eyes fixing on the man in the oversized hoodie. Dark, frizzy curls paired with eyes of the same color, warm and welcoming, watching your interaction with his elbow propped up against the desk. “He helped me. Showed me where t’go.”

Your eyes met the man’s, and you stood slowly, holding onto Annie’s hand. You made your way over to him, flashing him a small friendly smile. “Annie says you helped her find her way here? I can’t thank you enough. I was this close to losing my mind.”

He let out a quiet laugh, nodding sympathetically. “I can imagine,” He replied, revealing a deep Australian accent, “I remember when I was a kid, my little sister got lost at the supermarket. My mum just ‘bout went nuts looking for her, and she was only missing for like five minutes. When I saw your daughter all alone, I got this horrible feeling, and I remembered my mum… I couldn’t just leave her there, y’know?”

You laughed. “Kids,” You sighed warmly, “You can’t take your eyes off of them, not even for a second. But honestly, thank you, uh, Mr…?”

He smiled, and as your other turbulent emotions began to subside, you realized he was insanely cute, taking note of his rosy, heart-shaped lips and his dimple. “Bang Chan. Uh, but just Chan is fine! Really.”

“Chan,” you repeated, your smile growing. You turned your head to look down at Annie. “And, what do we say to Chan for helping you, Annie? Sweetie...?”

But she didn’t seem to be listening to you. She was too busy gawking at your hand, which was holding onto her little one. You furrowed your brows, eyes falling to where she was looking, before your mouth fell open.

This was the last thing you were expecting, you thought, as your eyes fell upon the red string tied around your finger, eyes trailing forward, forward, until they made their way to Chan’s index finger, and then even further, meeting Chan’s eyes, which were wide as saucers. Evidently, he hadn’t been expecting this either.

“Mommy,” Annie said, confused, “That string just showed up out of nowhere. Like magic!”

It was your turn to not answer now, too in shock, blinking stupidly at Chan, who was doing the same. It felt like an out of body experience, unable to stop your mouth from gaping like a fish, while watching you and this ridiculously charming, handsome-for-absolutely-no-reason man come to the realization that the universe had tied you together, quite literally.

“I-I…” You choked out, unable to speak. Oh my god, you idiot, you thought, say something! Don’t just stare!

“Mommy.” Annie’s free hand was tugging on your long, brown winter coat now, which snapped you out of your idiotic gawking. You looked down at her, and her eyes were glittering with excitement. “The string! ‘S’the one you told me about last week! Th’one that shows up when you meet your… your… snow mate!”

That seemed to truly snap you out of it, for some reason, and you let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh.

“Annie, I think you mean soulmate.”

“Yeah, that!” She started jumping up and down, and your face grew a crooked smile. You looked back at Chan, who was watching the interaction warmly. His eyes met yours when he realized you were looking at him, and he smiled at you in a way that made your heart do an anxious little tap dance, like he had known you for years and wanted to catch up.

In a way, it was true.

“So…” You said, “You said your name was Chan?”

He giggled a little at your breathless tone, and you grinned giddily. You felt like a teenager. It was honestly a bit embarrassing.

“You wanna get some lunch? My treat.” He sounded insistent, but his eyes were still creased up with his welcoming smile. “I insist.”

“What are the odds?” You asked with a smile, having finished your lunch—some pizza from the mall Chan had insisted on paying for—a few minutes ago, now watching Annie run around over on the indoor playground with some other kids there. Chan was sitting across from you at the table. “The last thing I was expecting was to find you, y’know?”

“I think there was a higher priority on your list of things you needed to find at the moment.”

“Ha, ha,” You deadpanned, “You’re hilarious. Tell another one.”

“Alright, what do you call a—”

“No!” You said with a giggle. “I heard enough earlier when you told me the one about the yakuza and the jacuzzi.”

Chan laughed gleefully, resting his chin on his hand. The string had since disappeared—they disappeared some ten minutes after meeting your soulmate. “But really, it is pretty crazy. I read a few weeks ago that only 3 out of every 10 people actually manage to find their soulmates.”

He didn’t respond but his eyes studied your face, gaze fixated on the bridge of your nose. “Call me biased,” He murmured, “But you’re very beautiful.”

You looked down, feeling your face heat up. “Thank you. You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Ah, thank you.” It was Chan’s turn to smile bashfully, the tips of his ears turning red. He looked down at his hands, which were on the table. A brief silence settled over the both of you, and you pondered over how he had been during lunch, gentle in his questioning but also incredibly sweet whenever Annie said something or asked a question, and how he always looked genuinely interested in what she had to say.

As a single mom, you never really had time to date. But both times that you given it a try, they didn’t seem to care about Annie or what she had to say. But here, now, Chan had been so happy to explain how he made music when she asked, or let her have the last slice of pizza, and it didn’t come across as disingenuous. It didn’t have the slightly condescending lilt some people put on to talk to younger children. He didn’t speak slowly and loudly, but he was aware that he needed to simplify his language given that she was still a little kid. He took things at her pace, and you could see that Annie warmed up to him instantly.

Still, you were a little wary.

“Look,” You said softly, eyes turning to the playground, looking for Annie. When you found her, chasing a little boy around, you smiled softly. “I’m really excited to have found you, Chan. It’s something I’ve always wanted but never expected. But… y’know, I’m a mom, above everything else. Ever since she was born, Annie’s been, and always will be my number one priority. I need you to understand that.”

You met his eyes again, and they had turned more serious, attentive to your words. “I totally understand that, Y/N. I wouldn’t want to come between you and her, and I don’t expect you to drop everything for me. Especially if it involves Annie.”

“Thank you,” You answered softly, nodding. “It’s hard for her. Her dad and I broke up a few months after she was born, and she sees him maybe once or twice a year. She’s in such an important age for her development, and needs me just as much as I need her, y’know?”

He nodded again, humming in accordance. “Of course. I’m totally willing to wait if you’re not ready yet, or if you want to set certain boundaries for her wellbeing... Whatever you feel is best for her.”

Slowly, his hand made its way to rest on top of yours. He was almost cautious about it, brushing his fingers gently against your knuckles. “You really made my day.” His voice was warm, eyes full of mirth. You smiled. “You made mine too. Because I found my soulmate and you stopped me from having a heart attack by saving the day and finding Annie. I’m never gonna thank you enough for that.”

He laughed. “I’m glad I was able to help. It led me to you.”

Lowering your head as your heart skipped a beat, you looked at his hand on yours, then at Annie, and finally back at him. A rosebud of hope began to bloom in your chest.

Seeing his dimples as his eyes shone, you had a solid feeling it wouldn’t ever wilt.

taglist: @decembermoonskz

#rebootkpopnet #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #kpop fluff #kpop au #kpop scenarios #skz scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #kpop angst #skz angst #stray kids angst #my writing

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handemiyyy · 3 years

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Nothing is black and white. Not even the things we judge to be the simplest such as a “are you a night owl or an early bird?” question. For every answer, for every action, behind it lies a very complex reason for why you picked a determined answer. In life, it’s the same. Things are multicolored, multifaceted and depending of a handful of factors combined that will impulse someone to take a certain action or opt for a certain answer. It really has put me into a lot of thinking when I found out the plot regarding Sen Çal Kapımı’s season 2, and seeing so many people start to take sides of such complex and delicate situation made me wonder that maybe people were not seeing the full picture, maybe they were seeing a plain image instead of the 3D situation presented to them.

If you know the characters’ story, you understand both Eda and Serkan’s actions are totally characteristic of them and correct in their own way. I’ll assume if you’re reading this you have knowledge of that, so I shall skip to the present situation and plot: Eda and Serkan broke up and stayed 5 years apart, but this turn in their love story has a bittersweet exception. Their child, Kiraz. Which Serkan does not know of.

EDA

Eda was asked to leave. After standing by his side through his cancer and thinking she’d finally live the life she dreamed with the love of her life, he broke up with her. They fought a lot, he let it explicit he’d never have a family, he closed himself to the world, to Eda, he resetted back to the robot-mode workaholic burying himself in projects that he forgot life. The life he had with Eda. His behavior affected her as well, that closed off too, and although they were together, they kept distancing from each other every day a little more. Until they saw that there was no point in that relationship. Eda shows that after 5 years his words and cold behaviour towards her still hurts her deeply, even making the analogy that she’s “just a toy” for him (ep 2 in the conversation scene with Burak). From her perspective, he decided to throw their years and relationship in the trash because he was the heartless insensitive man he was when they first met. Imagine you invest so much of yourself to someone just for this person to turn to you and tell you he doesn’t want to hear from you, or have you near. You’d be hurt. Especially after all you’ve been put through to be by his side and live your love freely. It was beyond plausible for her to leave and not look back (okay, Aydan?) and whoever had close insight of their relationship and how it deteriorated would agree with that. There’s only so much a person can handle. It was time Eda put herself first, especially when she was carrying a baby that Serkan supposedly wouldn’t want. She feared rejection, not just for her but for their baby, an innocent unborn child, a consequence of their love that was not the same anymore. He had said in her face that he didn’t want children, so she acted out of protectiveness for herself and her child. She couldn’t bare him rejecting the child. Maybe he would have changed his mind when she told him that she was pregnant, but she couldn’t have known that. Serkan turned into someone that was unrecognizable, even for Eda. He wasn’t just the cold workaholic we’ve seen in the beginning of the dizi, he was a cold-traumatized workaholic. So she escorted herself out of that relationship and did not think twice to come back around and tell him about the pregnancy when she found out in Italy. It was basically the logic that if he didn’t want her, why would he want her baby?

SERKAN

Serkan had to endure so much. After all the little things that consumed their relationship, after the plane crash, memory loss, he found out he had cancer. There is no way a person would stay the same after going through such awful disease. Serkan’s fear spoke louder than anything else, because he’s always been the kind of person to stay miserable and let her go so she doesn’t deal with the burden of being with him. Serkan’s hypochondria spoke louder telling him he was cured but not safe from cancer, and he couldn’t bare going through or putting Eda through that again. Even worse, leave her widowed. Probably the reason he kept postponing their wedding. During treatment he was still vulnerable, having Eda’s support all the way, trying to stay sane with all the mood changes and occasional insensitive behaviour towards her and everybody else. It cannot be put in words by a person that fortunately never had to go through or witness a person with cancer, but all of his “inconsistency” is more than justified. He never did it on purpose, it was the collateral effects of his disease, psychologically and physically speaking. After beating cancer, things seemed to have a bright future until it hadn’t. Serkan’s self sabotage knocked him down again, making him reset back to his old ways, except this time he had much more baggage and traumas than before. He shut everybody out, even the only person that he let in, and drowned in work, obsessed with “becoming immortal” through his projects. He forgot life, he forgot the love of his life. Not because he wanted to, but because his unconscious wanted to protect himself, and her. What if cancer came back? He knew very much of diseases as a person so worried about his health, he knew there were chances that it would come back. He’s gone through it once and barely survived, he’s seen the state he’s put him and Eda’s relationship through, he felt like a burden more than ever before. He didn’t want to hold her back, he didn’t want to have her stuck with him, taking care of his ill self that wasn’t even sure would make through the cancer treatment. He always felt unworthy of her, imagine now. He didn’t want children, because he feared they’d become fatherless. He didn’t want to set a wedding date, because he feared he’d leave his wife a widow. Or not make her happy. And he knew they weren’t happy. Because once he digged back down on his workaholic hole, he didn’t come back up again. It was stronger than him, he kept pushing her away and burying himself deeper. And she closed off just like him, so they both closed off in their own lonely cocoon and started to slowly become strangers again. Until one day he asked her to leave, and she didn’t see a reason to stay.

—

He told her to leave, he told her to stay far away from him because he wanted to protect her, and most selfishly, himself from more potential pain, suffering and heartbreak. He thought it’d be the less hurtful way (just like the plot of the secret about Eda’s parents accident), except he just made it worse for her. It doesn’t mean he’s a monster, a heartless human or an ungrateful bastard as many people are portraying him to be. It makes him human, it makes him a human with fears and insecurities, too aware of his own mortality and how it would affect the people that were dearest to him. Because when you’re sick, not only you go through stuff, the people around you, the people that loves and cares for you also goes through it all with you, to the point it can affect them personally too. He never came around and explained his reasons, because when he closed off his feelings were shut off. He bottled it all up and never said a thing, leaving Eda thinking the absolute worst of him and that still reflects in her hesitance about him 5 years later with an apparent normal Serkan back in her life. Serkan, now fully recovered and back to being himself, finds Eda again and everything he’s been trying to keep hidden, all the suppressed feelings and unfinished business he’s had with her, came back banging. He can’t let her go, he said it himself at that night talk. He can’t because he still needs to say a lot to her, to apologize to her even though it was NOT his fault. NEVER his fault. Nor hers, for leaving.

Serkan beat cancer years ago, but he never went looking for her. We’ve seen enough of their story and Serkan’s fears to know that he’s always felt that he wasn’t enough for her and that he’s brought to her life only pain, so it’s totally understandable why he never reached to her when he was sane again. He wanted her to be happy and free and she would only be able to do that if she was far away from him. And of course, Eda being hurt wouldn’t want to come back, wouldn’t want to keep in touch with him, so she cut ties entirely. She was on her right to not come to him when she found out about the pregnancy, because she knew he still wasn’t him. He was barely fighting for himself, living for himself, caring for himself, how would he do that for a child? But then he comes back… now what? Eda wants to run away from him, afraid he’d hurt her the way he did before. But he’s not that post-cancer Serkan, he still has the scars and the trauma but you can clearly see that he’s back to being the old Robot Bolat. He’s still closed off, but the initial scare and fear of abandonment disappeared with the passing years of him being healthy again. He sees Eda and he wants to be around her again, because he never truly wanted to part ways with her. Eda hides a secret, a secret she’s not right nor wrong to hide, she just figured it was best. And even in the first moments of him being around, it’s understandable that she wanted to hide the fact she has a child to him, as it may be a huge shock and turn of events. She doesn’t trust him, more precisely his reaction, and she’s unsure of what to expect. She needs him to give her a proof that he’s not the same unstable Serkan she witnessed before she left. She needs him to open up, he needs to open up to her. That is just it, the reason none of them could ever move forward, apart of their ever growing and intense love for each other. They still have a lot that was not talked, that was not finished, they didn’t solve their issues, therefore they didn’t heal.

Tell me how can you blame a mother for choosing her child over any possible heartbreak? How can you blame a woman for walking away after being so emotionally drained and not being able to put up with an exhausting relationship for BOTH of them? How can you blame her for not wanting to live that life with him when he wasn’t putting any effort on their relationship or on his fiancée? How could she guess what he was feeling, what he wanted to say, what were the reasons for his behavior if he closed off and never spoke a word?

Tell me how can you blame a traumatized man with so many complexities for closing off and pushing everybody away in order to not hurt them? How can you blame an hypochondriac man for wanting his beloved to be free from any strings attached to him and his disease because he can’t bare the fact he could possibly die and leave her suffering? How can you blame a human being that has gone through such a traumatic disease and invasive treatment as cancer that affects the whole being, physically and mentally, and transforms them into someone vulnerable and afraid? How can you blame this man for acting the way he did when he’s only done that because of all the fears he’s been accumulating since his childhood, his psychological traumas. How can it be his fault?

Serkan would die for Eda if it didn’t mean she would suffer for his loss.

Eda would be unhappy for eternity if it meant she could stay by Serkan’s side.

They would do anything for each other, and at one way or another, they did. Until their relationship deteriorated and they couldn’t keep going on, because they were losing themselves in an endless looping of traumas and pain. They were together but together they couldn’t do the healing, they were so exhausted they couldn’t heal each other nor themselves, it became unhealthy for them. But beware, it WAS NOT any of them’s fault, it qas just how they were living their lives. Their post-traumatic lives.

Sometimes there’s no right or wrong, there are just different point of views of a certain situation that’s so hard to grasp and so difficult to understand unless you’re personally living it. But trying to put yourself in their shoes also would do.

So please, yeter with the Eda AND SERKAN slander. Both were in their own right.

#sen çal kapımı #sen çal kapimi #edser #eda yildiz #serkan bolat #diziland #turkish shows #sçk #hande erçel #kerem bürsin #edaserkan #eda bolat

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