#so we were giving everyone readings yadda yadda

[allroseshave-their-pricks]

my least favorite part of the [redacted] saga so far :)

[therainscene]

Much of the supernatural horror that Will has to contend with works extremely well as a metaphor for his issues -- the Upside Down is the closet, the monsters represent homophobia, his powers are as repressed as he is, yadda yadda -- and in my opinion, this makes him a relatively easy character to analyze. Being able to draw on the supernatural stuff just gives you a lot more material to work with.

Mike, though? A goddamn enigma. He’s often present when supernatural stuff is happening, but he doesn’t interact with it to anywhere near the degree that Will does, and it’s much harder to fold him into the allegory being told here without reducing him to “Will’s love interest”.

And that’s interesting, don’t you think?

That the “stereotypical” gay boy who attracts homophobes like moths to a flame has had his issues laid out in code since the beginning? Whereas the straight-passing one, who’s so deep in the closet he’s probably not even out to himself yet, is so hard to read that most of the GA assume his bizarre personality change in S3 was a symptom of bad writing?

Figuring yourself out as a queer is a challenge even today, and part of the reason it’s so challenging is because heteronormativity steamrolls right over our right to know that being queer is a valid option.

The closet isn’t a queer space -- it’s a queer-shaped void within a heteronormative space.

Stranger Things is full of examples of this:

Will isn’t shy about expressing his disgust at the thought of dating girls, but he’s dealing with a lot of childhood trauma so he’s just a late bloomer, right?

Will is jealous and upset about his new step-sister’s relationship with the boy he’s been attached to at the hip since he was five, but it must be because he’s in love with her or otherwise misses his platonic buddy, right?

El’s character arc is about freeing herself from toxic relationships with men, but her infatuation with the boy who puts her on a pedestal is the one exception to that, right?

Robin shows zero romantic interest in men before coming out, but she and Steve just vibe so well it’s reasonable to assume they’re love interests, right?

Vickie paused Fast Times at fifty-three minutes five seconds, but she has a boyfriend so she must be straight, right?

Over and over, the show presents us with an ambiguously queer situation and dares us to assume it’ll end heteronormatively.

If this were any other show I’d call it queerbaiting... but these situations just keep ending in a non-heteronormative way, all while symbolically dancing around Mike.

Granted, “non-heteronormative” doesn’t necessarily equal gay -- El’s arc is more about independence and forging healthy platonic relationships than about replacing men with women -- but she’s still on the path to breaking out of comphet, which is rather a queer act regardless of whether she's literally queer herself.

But I’m digressing.

We’ve seen how Will is visibly queer and struggles with the trauma of being abused for it, and how his closet is symbolized by the existence of a literal alternate dimension full of monsters.

But Mike is invisible, so his closet isn’t represented by a metaphor at all, but by something more meta than that -- it’s etched out in the negative space formed by the narrative itself. Only the audience can see it, and then only if we’re paying attention, tracing the edges of the story and feeling out the shape it results in.

These two different approaches in depicting the struggle of being closeted remind me of drowning.

In films, drowning is a noisy and dramatic affair, easy to identify.

But in real life, drowning doesn’t look like what we think it does -- it’s silent and resembles calm water play. All too often, drowning victims will quietly slip under and succumb helplessly to the depths...

...right under everyone’s noses.

[sciderman]

The biggest sin of the Deadpool movies is that now everytime anyone talks about them or Deadpool in general, there's always that one prick who's like "C'mon, it's Deadpool, you can't take anything seriously with him, he's purely comedic and a parody" and it's not even because the movie aren't serious at times, but because the fans of those movies usualy have the literacy of a sleepy old cat.

i think a lot of people consuming media have quite poor reading comprehension, but that's just the way the world is in any place you go! we're snobs. not everyone is snobs like us.

buuuut personally i don't think the lens that "you can't take anything seriously" with deadpool is an incorrect one, at all. i think deadpool should be irreverent and playful - and i don't think it's a requirement for deadpool media to take itself seriously. in fact, i kind of wish we had more deadpool media that actually committed to the silliness of a comic book character knowing he's a comic book character. i think maybe gwenpool does it more successfully than deadpool does - but i can't say that with any kind of conviction behind it because i haven't read gwenpool either - i just get the vibe.

i wish the movies were smarter, actually. like, if they wanted to go down the avenue of comedy and parody, man... commit. be smart about it. fact is they kind of want a heartfelt romance and a tragic hero but they keep puncturing it with meta jokes and really, really dumb writing choices that mean you shouldn't take it too seriously. so they kind of don't succeed at either.

i don't think you're meant to take the deadpool movies seriously. i certainly can't enjoy them without switching my brain off entirely –that's not to say it's successful parody. because it's not. the deadpool movies are dumb. they are dumb. they are not clever parody, like... the airplane! of superhero movies. they do very little to subvert the genre at all - nothing clever. just a wink-wink-nudge-nudge joke here or there to say "haha. we played into that trope. it's clever because we're pointing it out."

aaand they're not a meaningful examination on what it means to be a hero or what it means to be in love or the concept of nature vs nurture or overcoming your demons or yadda yadda any of those themes that they kind of flirt over but don't sink teeth into. deadpool movies are dumb. we can't give them too much credit. they don't deserve it.

i think sincerity doesn't have to always suffer at the hands of comedy - no, no. i think good deadpool content balances it somehow. the lego batman movie balanced it too. clever media can do both. the deadpool movies don't (imo), so i think anyone who says "you're not meant to take it seriously" are totally within their right. i say it too. the deadpool movies can't really be enjoyed without turning your brain off. i have to do it too. if i think on it too hard, i'm disappointed. they are not clever movies.

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 28: Achilles Heel

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

* Warnings: language, angst

* Word count: 1,867ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Author's note: Okay, I lied. One more because I have an uneven number queued. Then I’ll follow the rules. Scouts honor lol. 🤓 Things are starting to ramp up, Kayce and Stella are finally coming back to some kind of normalcy. It’s been rough, but we’ll get there. Also, this is shorter than normal, but it worked well for splitting these events up. I hope y’all don’t mind, I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well!

“What! You told me you ran into him!” Ryan cried out.

“Okay I bent the truth! I’m sorry. I knew if I told you that 30 minutes ago, you would have burnt the whole state of Montana to the ground!” She defended herself.

All the men moved closer to her instinctually. Rip started in on her hard. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me when I picked you up?!”

“Because I wanted to tell everyone all at once, Rip!” Was he even listening?

He came back at her even angrier. “Bullshit! Were you gonna say anything at all?!”

“Yes! My god! I’m here aren’t I?”

Kayce targeted her next. “You’re only here because your brother and I made sure you’d come talk to my dad.”

John interrupted. “All of you quit!” He locked in on Stella. “What did he want?”

“I asked him and he said something about liking my property, yadda yadda, and got insulted when I asked who he was again and told me I work for a ranch that has started to annoy people. Then read me like an open book almost to every little detail about my life.” Stella crossed her arms and shook her leg. The memory of Malcolm’s unnaturally blue eyes staring into hers as he recited her information sent a chill up her spine.

“I told him I wasn’t interested in anything he had to offer. He said I was a soft spot for people here, which I beg to differ,” she focused on the floor, “but whatever. Then he said he would be seein’ me real soon. Whatever that means.” She looked back up at John and shrugged.

“So long story short, what I wanted to say was, I’m not sure Jenkins is our culprit for those cows being dead. Somethin’ about Malcolm and his brother doesn’t sit straight with me. He was fishin’ for somethin’, but I don’t know what.” Her cheeks were flushed by the time she was finished. Stella felt like she was on trial. Especially with the way everyone just looked at her angrily and didn’t say anything. “You can choose to believe me, or not, but I’m tellin’ you right now somethin’ ain’t right.”

“Damn it.” John looked to his son. “Kayce, what did you find out from Jenkins?”

Kayce watched Stella, who focused on John. She turned her body to face the patriarch, trying to pretend she was anywhere but in the room with them. He announced. “Wasn’t Jenkins.”

Rip mumbled a cuss to himself. That meant they were dealing with a different player; and that player was bigger, and seemingly interested in Stella.

“How do we know it wasn’t him?” John asked.

“I looked him in the eye and it wasn’t him.” Kayce made direct eye contact with his dad.

“I can also attest that he wouldn’t know the first thing about cows or how to kill them.” Stella added.

She finally locked eyes with Kayce. He looked tired. “You okay?” Everyone could tell there was something deeper behind her question. Even though it seemed like she wanted to be out of any room Kayce was in.

“It went fine.”

Stella scowled at him for ignoring her actual question.

“Let me talk to my son please.” John excused the three of them. Stella wasn’t sure what was going on, but if it meant she could escape, she’d take it.

Kayce stayed behind to talk to his father. At first they talked about something Kayce had done in war that had changed him forever. His heart raced just reliving the memory. If he could go back and have it happen differently, he would in a heartbeat. Kayce wanted to leave, but John stopped him.

“What’s going on with you and Stella?”

Kayce sighed. “Nothing dad.”

“Her looking like she was about to claw her way out of the window to get away when you went in on her says otherwise.” John leaned back against his desk smugly. He was almost certain he knew what was coming.

“There is nothing going on between Stella and I. Nothing.” He tried to be stern in his answer to get his dad to stop asking. He was confused as to what was going on himself. He had fucked up. Simple as that.

John stayed quiet and examined his son. Kayce’s face was flushed, and his voice let John know he was confused. If he didn’t know any better, he would say Kayce looked like he was going to panic. He looked like he was in love. That’s how he had looked when he found Evelyn.

Kayce couldn’t take the silence any longer. “Okay fine! We slept together. So what?”

‘Ah. There it was.’ John thought to himself as he breathed out a chuckle. This wasn’t when or how he thought this conversation would come up, but he knew it would cross him one day. “And when was that?”

Kayce looked down. “A few days ago.” He refused to tell his father that it was more than once.

“And you just got back from visiting with Monica? Now I understand why she wanted to leave so badly.” John worked out. He watched as his son squirmed. “How did things go with Monica, by the way? Especially with this new,” there was no real way for him to say this delicately, “development.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it dad.”

“But you’re gonna have to sooner or later.”

“She wants a divorce.”

“What for?”

“A lot of things.”

John crossed his arms. “What are you gonna do, son? Because that woman out there has stood behind you through thick and thin. Even after you broke her, she still made sure you were okay. Didn’t like that you ignored her actual question, but she still did it.”

Kayce got frustrated and slammed his hand against the door. “I don’t know! On one hand Monica is my wife, the mother of my son, the lov—,” he stopped himself. He didn’t know if he was choked up, or if he couldn’t actually bring himself to say it.

“— But?” John interrupted.

“I don’t know, dad. I just — I don’t know.”

Making it to the door, Stella started to pick up her pace. She thought she was home free when her feet hit the porch. She would have been if Rip’s rough hand didn’t grab her elbow. Her shoulders sagged. “Listen I know you’re both angry I didn’t tell you right away, but can one more person not be mad at me today?” She looked down at the floor of the porch. “I have Ryan double mad at me, you, probably Mr. Dutton. Kayce and I are weird right now…,” she trailed off. The list could go if she thought about it hard enough.

“Yeah we noticed.” Ryan informed her crossing his arms.

Stella pulled her lips in. She hoped she had hidden it better than that. ‘Great.’

“Was it really that noticeable?”

Ryan scoffed. “You looked like you wanted to be anywhere but where Kayce was.”

“You didn’t wanna be around him the other night. You were upset about somethin’.” Rip started to put two and two together out loud for Ryan. He didn’t want to be the one to spill the beans. “Somethin’ about you broke your own heart.”

“I was really hoping that you wouldn’t have remembered that.”

“What happened between you two?” Ryan asked. Stella remained quiet with her lips pulled in. “C’mon Stell. You gotta lay it out there at some point.”

She looked out along the dark horizon line and wished she could shrink herself. It was embarrassing enough to have the thoughts run through her own head, let alone say them out loud. Especially to her brother and a man she considered a brother.

“I thought something might have changed between us, but it didn’t. I was just a hopelessly hopeless romantic caught up in my own delusion.” She moved her hands in a ‘giving up’ motion. Her voice came out more quietly than before. “It doesn’t matter.” She stepped toward the stairs. “Can we be done here? Please?”

Kayce came out of the house looking flustered. His gaze landed on Stella and both of them seemed to stop breathing. “Can I talk to you?”

Stella breathed in. “I mean, no,” she blew the breath out, “but you’re gonna keep tryin’ until I let you. So I guess.” She crossed her arms and looked at the other two men. “Can you guys give us a minute? I’ll be right behind you.”

Ryan stepped forward and Rip reached out to stop him from getting too close. He threatened the man responsible for hurting his sister. “You hurt her even more, and everything else you’re going through will be the least of your worries.” Rip grabbed his shoulder to direct him to the horses.

Stella watched them trot off. Ryan gave her one last look and she nodded to him. It was quiet behind her, and she was half expecting Kayce to be gone when she turned around. Holding her head as high as she could, she pivoted around to face him. She fixed her glasses and sniffed. “Well, let’s have it.”

Kayce got a good look at her face. She looked humiliated. He had hurt her badly. He was afraid it was past the point of repair. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too Kayce.” She looked down, sullen.

“I shouldn’t have come onto you like that. We shouldn’t have done it at all. I ruined a perfectly good friendship.”

“Yeah I know it was a mistake. Is that all you wanted to say? Because I could live without the embarrassment of hearing, let's just pretend this never happened.”

“No. I wanted to tell you Monica and I decided to co-parent, but we can’t go back to each other.”

“Okay that’s great, but now I feel dirty. Like I was just a distraction, which I mean I was. A distraction for you at my expense. I just don’t know if I can get past that.”

Unbeknownst to the two of them, John had snuck out onto his porch to hear how this would play out.

Kayce started, “I understand, but—,” and Stella interrupted him.

“— Do you really have any grounds to stand on to place a ‘but’ in there? I was blinded by the feelings I’ve had for you since we were kids and somehow, whether you realized it or not, you used it to your advantage.” Her eyes stung. “I thought I was always safe with you.” She said in a small voice. “And to find out I wasn’t, hurts. I let you past everything I had put up.” John tilted his head to the side. She had a point. “So I’m gonna go. I just wanna be left alone.” She spun around to make her way down to the bunkhouse.

Kayce stood there defeated. He knew he’d fucked up big time. If she ever talked to him again, he would be surprised. He heard footsteps on the porch. He turned and saw his dad.

“So how are you gonna make this right, son?”

“I’m gonna respect her and leave her be. I’ve already done enough damage.” He walked off and hopped in his truck.

[slimejugular]

ohhhhh im sure theres content of this or someone has thought about this before my apologies if that is the case. however I Really Want To Know about the pure vessel's life prior to the sacrifice

given that Ogrim in his dreamnail dialogue reflects on that there were other vessels seeing the existence of Ghost, its safe to assume that the Pale King's five knights were not privy to the atrocity that is the Abyss yadda yadda infanticide

Soooo its like. Here is how PK would approach this situation. "Here take this. my kid. train....them. but DONT do anything else only training" real quick I wonder how PK handled ***his image concerning PV. He would assuredly have some sort of guise going on to fool everyone, showcasing odd behavior towards his alleged child, avoiding use of their pronouns, or not saying their name, not displaying proper amounts of affection, a detached demeanor, etc.

anyway, off track, My point that I meant to address is that the five knights - hypothetically, unaware of the intentions behind the birth of the Pure Vessel, they very likely instilled ideas in them!! And I would much enjoy reading about that!! or to think about it more really

Instilled ideas 1 - Influences in PV's fighting style and other shit:

I recall someone's mention of what patterns there are from Godhome PV that are from Hegemol. The two masks of damage and the erratic instances of PV jumping seem similar...but what about the other knight that we can fight in the game? Ogrim? Who knows! His attacks I do not see embodied in PV whatsoever. And boy do I wonder about it. If not attacks, perhaps an influence in the way of the mind? Giving PV an unwanted sense of positivity and loyalty towards their fate, reflected in the way Ogrim carries himself so jubilant in present and his standing devotion to the Pale King. wwhich brings me to the next section , since the other knights can be only speculated on in their attacks.... But here it is despite that

PV's attacks alongside miscellaneous assumptions:

Said earlier, the random jumps and two masks of damage - Taught by Hegemol. Funny to think of the process of this. Jump, my child. And decimate your enemies with your weight.

Furthermore, on this -- Hegemol is a heavy looking guy in game, and I head canon that the carapace that makes up PV's grown body is verrrrry heavy. It contains properties of Void as well, which Void by itself is oppressive and emulates the feeling of "heaviness", so the natural heft of a bug's shell and the void combined makes for some substantial stuff. Younger vessels probably weigh less. Gives reason to why this attack is a thing.

the Lunging dash - I propose Dryya taught them this. No logistics behind this. She looks to be an agile bug, so I relate the attack to her for that.

Parry - I don't know ): Most basic thing in fighting ever. I mean their way of parrying looks interesting, but I would not exactly say it came from a specific knight or other bug.

I think itd be cute if this attack was taught to them by Hornet through her training with Vespa at the Hive, but it makes more sense for it to be the other way around (and this is also a cute alternative)

3 slashes across the area - I propose Ze'mer taught them this. The aggressiveness of it reminds me of the Mantis Tribe, which I should mention I like the interpretation of her attack style in the Pale Court mod. A commenter brought up how with her relation to the traitor lord's daughter, she was susceptible to influence by the mantis tribe fighting style.

Also notable is that the height of their in-game sprites is similar in height. They're both a similar amount of thickness (ish). I would imagine that Ze'mer would be the perfect bug to share with PV on how to take advantage of the space that they encompass (only applies to the vessel's prime form)

Any soul attacks e.g seven daggers, full-arena spikes, healing sequence - Taught primarily by the Pale King, being a higher being and all - the sigils look similar, uhh spikes, etc. Can lesser, non-higher being bugs even use soul? besides the soul master that is? I'm not versed in that knowledge. Sighh I would like to imagine Isma somewhere. Mayhap she helped with the process of learning to heal.

Void Tendrils - Special one! I do not believe this attack is attributed from anyone, rather self-taught, though the Pale King might have aided with the learning of it, seeing his own knowledge in void from the workshop in the White Palace. On the other hand, since he made constructs -- prim and prime, uncharacteristic of the uncontrollable look of this attack, I find it difficult to imagine...

Void walk/teleport - Special one part 2. May have been taught by the Pale King as a normal godly use of Soul to teleport, but it eventually morphed into using the power of the Void. Or could have been somewhat the opposite, PK teaching them how to utilize their void. Unsure.

***oh god this became too long i am going to resume it with a continued reblog another time

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Agitation 3.3 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

“No,” Brian intoned, “Such a bad idea.”

Awww, but isn't that a villain rite of passage?

(Yes, yes, I've read like 17 versions of the fic scenes where they point out it's a bad idea, all probably derived from this chapter)

“Come on,” Lisa wheedled, “It’s a rite of passage for dastardly criminals like us.”

Lisa. You're the Undersiders. Right now, you guys are anything but 'cool' and dastardly is reserved for 'cool' villains.

“Robbing a bank is moronic.  We’ve been over this,”  Brian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, “You know what the average haul is for hitting a bank?” Lisa paused, “Twenty thou?” “Exactly.  It’s not millions like you see people getting away with in the movies.  Banks don’t keep a lot of loose cash on hand, so we’d be pulling in less than we would for most other jobs

Okay, yes, Banks don't keep a lot of loose cash, but really? Only twenty thousand? That's a lot of armored trucks going in and out every day then or something.

“We won because we picked our battles.  We wouldn’t have that option if we were cooped up in the bank and waiting for them to come to us, letting them decide how and where the fight happened.”

Brian, you're talking to Rachel, who I believe is the physical embodiment of this tumblr post:

I’d almost forgotten I was a part of the discussion.  The last thing I wanted was to rob a bank.  Hostages could get hurt.  The fact that it would potentially put me on the front page of the paper wasn’t a high point, either, if I ever wanted to drop the supervillain ruse and become a hero in good standing.  I ventured, “I think Brian makes a good case.  It seems reckless.”

Come on Taylor! You know you wanna just cut loose! :P :rofl: (Jk)

“Figure that’s happening in the middle of the school day, and they won’t all be able to slip away to stop a robbery without drawing attention.  People know the Wards are attending Arcadia, they just don’t know who they are.  So everyone’s constantly watching for that.  Since they can’t have all six or seven of the same kids disappear from class every time the Wards go off to foil a crime without giving away the show, chances are good that we’d go up against a couple of their strongest members, or one of the strongest with a group of the ones with less amazing powers.  We can beat them.”

And if a certain overstressed healer hadn't been there to make a withdrawal, this probably would have been fine.

That, and he really wants us to do a job at that particular time.”

I believe that screams 'BAIT!' and 'YOU ARE A DISTRACTION!'

“They have ride-alongs or aerial cover from various members of the Wards and the Protectorate, so we’d be caught in a fight with another cape from minute one.  Same problems that Brian’s talking about, as far as getting caught up in a fight, difficulty accessing the money before shit goes down, yadda yadda.  Anyways, the Brockton Bay Central has cars coming in twice a week, and leaving four times a week.  We hit on a Thursday just after noon, and it should be the best day and time for the sheer size of the take.  Only way we’re getting away with less than thirty thousand is if we fuck up.  With what the boss is offering, that’s ninety thou.”

Not a bad chunk of change for a lunchbreak sized job.

Brian sighed, long and loud, “Well, you got me, I guess.  It sounds good.”

If Brian isn't physically facepalming when he says this, he has to be mentally. Just... such 'fiiiiiiiiiine! (exasperated)' energy.

Arguing against the bank robbery at this point would hurt my undercover operation more than it helped anyone.  With that in mind, I began offering suggestions that – I hoped – would minimize the possibility of disaster.  The way I saw it, if I helped things go smoothly, it would help my scheme to get info on the Undersiders and their boss.  It would minimize the chance that someone would panic or be reckless and get a civilian hurt.  I think I would feel worse if that happened than I would about going to jail.

Fair, on the civilian front. I have no idea how many civilians Taylor hurts, but it's probably low. Also, the rationalizations continue apace!

The discussion went on for a while.  At one point, Lisa got her laptop, and we debated entrance and exit strategies while she sketched out a map of the bank layout.  It was uncanny, seeing her power at work.  She copied a satellite image of the bank from a web search into a paint program, then drew over it with thick bold lines to show how the rooms were laid out.  With another search and a single picture of the bank manager standing in front of his desk, she was able to mark out where the manager’s desk was.  That wouldn’t have been too amazing, but without pausing, she then went on to mark where the tellers were, as well as the vaults, the vault doors and the enclosed room that held the safe deposit boxes.  She noted where the fuse box and air conditioning vents were, but we decided we wouldn’t mess with either of those.

It's amazing what you can find on the internet... and with a power that lets you do what Sherlock Holmes pretends to.

Of the four of us, I got the impression he had the least to contribute, at least strategically, and that he knew it.  I wasn’t sure if he just didn’t have a very tactical mindset or if he just didn’t care that much about the planning stage of things.

Despite the fact that he is (according to fanfic, not sure if this is canon) a sociopath, and at the very least, fucked up thanks to being one of Heartbreaker's Kids, Alec may be the most normal of the Undersiders.

And boy is that weird to say.

“Sure,” he said, “So let’s go down the list.  Team leader: Aegis.  You’d think he has the standard Alexandria package, flight, super strength, invincibility, but that isn’t exactly right.  He does fly, but the other two powers work differently than you’d expect.  See, he isn’t invincible… he just doesn’t have any weak points.  His entire biology is filled with so many redundancies and reinforcements that you just can’t put him down.  Throw sand in his eyes and he can still see by sensing the light on his skin.  Cut his throat and it doesn’t bleed any more than the back of his hand would.  The guy’s had an arm cut off and it was attached and working fine the next day.  Stab him through the heart and another organ takes over the necessary functions.”

*Me, shaking the powers* WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL?!?!?!

“I don’t need to hold back?” Bitch asked, her eyebrow quirked. “For once, no.  Go nuts.  Just, you know, don’t kill him. 

Very important that you added that extra detail there, Brian :P

“The upside is that whoever he touches is also untouchable.  Can’t be hurt, can’t be moved.  Period.  He uses that defensively, and he can do stuff like throw paper or cloth in the air and freeze it in time, making an unbreakable shield.  You don’t want to run into something that’s frozen.  A car that drove into the side of a piece of paper that Clockblocker had touched would be cut in two before it budged the paper.”

Everyone, get ready for our favorite game here at @got-into-worm-by-mistake!

*Wheel of Fortune Audience Voice*

POWERS!

ARE!

BULLSHIT!

(I say this a lot. I'll say it more. Because I absolutely love how nothing about any power in Worm can be 'normal' powers. Genuinely. Favorite part of the story that isn't my poor little meow meow babygirl Amy)

“Wherever our powers come from, they also came with some limitations.  For most of us, there’s a restriction about using our powers on living things.  The reach of powers generally stops at the outside of a person or animal’s body.  There’s exceptions for the people with powers that only work on living things, like you, Alec and Rachel.  But the long and short of it is that the Manton effect is why most telekinetics can’t just reach into your chest and crush your heart.  Most people who can create forcefields can’t create one through the middle of your body and cut you in two.”

I feel like maybe Taylor would have researched this more/better?

“I said most,” Lisa said, “Why these restrictions exist is a question nearly as big as where we got our powers in the first place.  The capes that can get around the Manton effect are among the strongest of us.”

And maybe, bitch, that's why you don't help tilt the girl who is teetering on the edge of becoming an S-Class threat over said edge?

(I am entitled to be irrational about some things.)

“That just leaves Shadow Stalker.  Bloodthirsty bitch,” Brian scowled.

AYYYY! Sophia! You horrid little bitch!

(Do we find out before Taylor does that Sophia is Shadow Stalker?)

“She was a solo hero,” Tattletale said, “Vigilante of the night, until she went too far and nearly killed someone, nailing him to a wall with one of her crossbows.  The local heroes were called in, she got arrested, and made some sort of deal.  Now she’s a probationary member of the Wards, with the condition that she uses tranquilizer bolts and nonlethal ammo for her crossbow.”

Furthers the whole "heroes kinda suck, be a villain" messaging from Interlude 2, really.

“I am,” I admitted, “as well as third thoughts, fourth thoughts, and so on.  But I’m not going to let that stop me.  I’m coming with.”

Valid af though.

“So unless there’s anything else, I think we just planned a bank robbery before noon,” Lisa said with a grin.  I looked at the digital clock displayed under the TV.  Sure enough, it was half past eleven.

Either Lisa is having too much fun with this, or the other Undersiders are having too little fun with it.

[mauesartetc]

I've seen it stated in a comment on reddit that Blitzo "deserved what happened to him at Ozzie’s. He forced himself on M&M’s date and then went out of his way to draw attention to himself KNOWING fizz was there. The entire event was a result of his own actions. Hell, Stolas treated it as an actual date and at least tried to make an effort to be sweet."

They also said:

""I’d like an acknowledgment of Blitz being the one who was in the wrong and admitting it himself. Stolas may be an out of touch rich aristocrat yes, but Blitz was neglecting him and taking advantage from the start. Stolas arguably had no reason to suspect that objectifying blitz was a problem considering he never seemed bothered by it until Ozzy’s. I’d like to think the hospital scene is what is starting the process of Stolas finally realizing blitz can’t be helped until he helps up himself and deals with his issues."

And I'm like: wtf? Are you seriously making Stolas into the injured party despite all the cr*p he has done? Hes the one who has apologizing to do; for objectifying and fetishizing Blitzo all while looking down on imps.

The last part stinks of not wanting white/privileged people to take accountability for microaggressions based on the excuse of them being "innocent".

Sorry, I know this is wildly beside the point, but:

cr*p

Dude, this is Tumblr, not TikTok. You don't have to censor yourself here. You don't have to make every word you write commercially viable. It's okay. Be free, little bird! Spew expletives left and right if you feel so moved!

I want everyone to feel free to speak their minds on this blog, and if that includes a few naughty words, so be it. Besides, I'm pretty sure no one's getting in trouble at work for reading a post that contained the word "crap".

Anyway, to the more pressing issue at hand: It's important to recognize at all times that these are fictional characters, not real people. They are puppets whose actions are dictated by writers. Yes, giving characters the illusion of agency when writing stories is a great way to engage your audience, but when analyzing stories, you have to focus on why the people who wrote them made the choices they did. Debating which character was in the wrong, or which character was more wrong, or which one should apologize, yadda yadda yadda, is a futile fucking exercise if you don't include the writers' intent in that conversation.

Let's look at Blitzo. He pretty objectively caused most of what went down at Ozzie's. He followed Moxxie and Millie, he invited Stolas, he drew attention to himself when he knew people who hated him were present. Now that last one seems pretty stupid, like the kind of mistake no one of sound mind in the real world would ever reasonably make. We could spend all day speculating what about his personality would lead him to do this, whether it's zero sense of self-preservation, a subconscious desire for self-sabotage, or simple inability to keep his damn mouth shut, but here's the thing: Other Helluva Boss characters have the same problem. To reiterate what I said here:

"Why did Octavia fully forgive her dad, no questions asked, even when he couldn't explain why he cheated on her mom? If Loona hates being around Blitzo so much, why didn't she just stay with the succubi on the beach? [...] Why did Moxxie make a huge romantic gesture in an environment where such gestures are frowned upon? [...] Why did Stolas bring an imp to a couples-only club despite knowing it'd ruin his reputation?"

The answer to all these questions is "because the plot demanded it." The writers wanted a certain outcome and wrote themselves into a corner before they could reach it organically. Instead of putting themselves into the characters' shoes or retracing their steps to make the endpoint feel like a logical conclusion, they just said "fuck it" and brute-forced the easiest solution, causing the result to make no goddamn sense.

Given the level this writing is on, it feels kinda pointless to argue with internet strangers over which character was in the right and which one wasn't. Subsequent episodes haven't addressed the events of "Ozzie's" (at least not in a way that means anything), leading me to believe the writers never cared enough about them to spark any sort of in-depth conversation. So why should we?

Honestly, this person just sounds like a Stolas simp. It's kind of a leap to assume they don't want real people of a certain race and class to bear responsibility for their actions. It's not that deep. None of this is that deep.

[diona-98]

*deepest inhale in the land of deep inhales*

Okay so basically, theres this small little AU called Heartslost. This girl was born, but her powers were deemed wicked and unholy by the villages, and she was banished to a part of the Earth. This part has one way barriers, once you go in you cant come out. Unless of course, you have the power of 7 human souls.

The young girl uses her powers to create life. She first creates Ink, who uh.. turns out soulless. He kinda leaves out. She then creates Error, because Ink is a little bit of a danger and someone needs to keep him in check. After? She creates Blue, Frisk, and Chara.

Wait.. isnt making humans overpowered!? Couldn't she just make the human souls!? Well.. no. She can only make psuedo souls, which are the same strength as monster souls.

Continuing, Frisk is a ghost who kinda just.. vibes with Chara. And Blue? Well he grows close to the girl, almost like a brother.

She decided to make only a few more creations. Dream, and Nightmare. The whole "nightmare eats black apple thing" still happens, but like.. theres no bullies really? He does get a bit bullied but not that severe. ITS FRICKIN' ADAM AND EVE??? HOW DID YOU GET IN THIS STORY??? Basically one of Nightmare's "friends" tricks him into eating one.

Dw tho, he's still chill. Just even more emo now.

Okay you're probably getting tired of me setting this AU up, so basically this girl named Olivia (Soul; Courage) gets stuck, has a little ghost pal following her, befriends everyone, and frees them.

Oh and also Blue helped the girl come up with a name. And that name is Afta.

Afta and her creations are free, and Olivia is their ambassador. Afta reunites with one of her birth family members too! Her brother, who also had a "curse" but it didnt happen until way later in his life and he could hide it.

OKAY WOOOO THATS OVER WITH.

NOW WE CAN GET INTO THE MULTIVERSE- OH SHOOT MORE BACKSTORY.

I'll make it short! Or try..

Basically theres a glitch in a copy of Heartslost, and Afta has been replaced. The new person quickly gets corrupted though. Went through torture, blah blah blah, lost their whole AU. Seeks vengeance.

So? They use an abandoned AU from the multiverse over. Including Ink, Error, Dream, Nightmare, Blue, Dust, Killer, Cross, Horror, Lust, Classic, and Fell. And maybe a few more. They play around with corrupting it, before abandoning the project. They did a hard reset on everything, leaving the experiment rewritten.

Then, their plan was inacted. They corrupted an au known as Sweetsverse. They also went around and corrupted a few more.

Okay now I'm getting tired so I'll just give a run down.

The corrupted person, Ochita, went around corrupting AUs. They eventually corrupted Heartslost, leaving Afta corrupted. Though the building resistance had found a way to fix them. Basically, you just split it. Two versions, the uncorrupted and the corrupted version.

Though none were powerful enough to do this. So they had to summon a third deliverer. These deliverers bring the messages of above. The third deliverer, Okita, managed to fix the AUs using this method. This summoned a new ally, Invert, a corrupted Afta.

Yadda yadda, Ochita corrupted more aus, oh also so many lesbians. Eventually though, one Afta knew what to do. Dessert, aka Swap!Afta. They had once been friends with Ochita. And they knew who they had to contact.

There were test versions for the Afta AUs. And their leader, Lav, aka Test Dessert, was pretty powerful. The two did a little thingy thing and fused. Eventually, the battle with Ochita came to an end, The fusion stabbed, and killed them.

And.. that's the end. Of Gen 1. Theres 2 more wars, both separated by gens. Gen 2 and Gen 3 are next. BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE STILL CURIOUS!!

I managed to get my half sleepy eyes to read this, unfortunately i couldnt read the multiverse part since im tired now

Ill make sure to read this in the morning (well, if i even remember it)

But over all, great au, love it already, oh and i hope you have a great day

[lee-hakhyun]

what do you think of LHH being a writer, reader and a protagonist? ofc not in the grand scheme of the universe way, but he’s got all the three tropes down.

Writer - of ORV, we know that and also his debut work which gives me brain worms to think about. Even before he fully knew why he was in the world, he knew he was a liar. Casually lying about his past to get by. LHH ily.

Reader - he loves ORV like his readers, he loves the story, and *ahem* that insane reveal (I try not to think of it much lest it taint my perception of Hakhyun, he’s my bbg!!!)

Protagonist - he’s the MC of this story!! this story that was made for him, it’s his, yet he wants nothing to do with it. Man just wants to go home with his readers and honestly he’s so real for that. Such a breath of fresh air. He just doesn’t accept his fate like a lot of isekaid-against-their-will protags do. I’ll love him for that and dream of his happy ending, even though I feel like a selfish voyeur just by reading the side story (*insert the world continues by reading yadda yadda bs*) :,))

I’m so insane for him help,,, he’s been plaguing my drafts, someone get him outta there 🧍

he's truly the guy of all time. adding on a lot of my thoughts

i love writer characters,, especially ones that get transmigrated into their own work (hi sqh), and he even gets to he the protagonist..! even if the story is not. treating him well

lies especially are such an important part to his character. the lies he wrote for jhw, the lies about his childhood, his lies to jung jaewoo, and all of his works (bar orv) having themes of lies,,

and. it's really clear he has issues with his identity made infinitely worse by ending up in orv and realizing that he isn't the 'real' author. transmigrating into cheon inho and using incite to copy others, even getting an item that can copy other items.. it makes the moments when he thinks of himself as 'lee hakhyun' so much more special

and oh. he's a character who loves so much. trying to save as many people as possible throughout the stations, even trying to save the monsters in the 'emergency defense' battle by convincing them to stop fighting. even the 'extras' that kdj didn't pay much attention to, he took care of them, gave them food and taught them how to hunt

directly challenging hsy's plan for 41!yjh's sake.. willing to sacrifice himself just so one more person could survive. WRITING HIS OWN DEATH TO PERSUADE HSY.

the 49!kdj pov was heartbreaking. but it was needed. i thought about it, and 49 only started breaking down after his first doubts of himself as 'kim dokja'.. was the reason he started deteriorating so quickly because he no longer believed kim dokja's stories were his? i don't think kdi anticipated this when he split himself,, i think he sincerely wanted his companions to be happy with a part of himself. when everyone was trying to figure out what went wrong with 49's body they said the amount of stories should have lasted him at least decades, and sys saying the stories that connected him to her felt unstable.. was this because 49 was subconsciously rejecting those stories? and then his final wish to be anyone but kim dokja. oh my god.

he got his wish, but the story found him again. while lhh was previously 49, he's now his OWN PERSON and referring to him as 49 is directly against what he wanted. please don't do that. even hsy realized and accepted it (..after lhh made her kill him.)

if i talk about his relationship with jhw i will combust. maybe another time.

[eclaire-went-bam]

can we talk more about how npd can really crush your interests

like how is it, whenever i find someone else who likes what i like, i automatically feel attacked or defensive until i can wager in some way i'm more familiar with the subject than them?

unless i myself have instilled that interest in someone, but even then, if they end up liking it more than me, i feel equally defensive.

if someone says i like something bcs of them, i still get defensive.

if i have a talent due to something i have passion in, it is imperative to be better at it than everyone i know, to find the flaws in other people's skills (which can be useful to teach yourself but not so much when you're finding ways to believe you're better). to never spend time leisurely enjoying my talent, but to need to CONSTANTLY top my last record. nothing less is unacceptable. if someone's better than me, then Clearly i must quit growing this talent

if i have a hobby that people look up to me for, i easily turn something i once enjoyed into a steadily raising standard and if i can't constantly be better, i may as well give up before i lose ly dignity

i can hardly pick up new hobbies, because if i'm not good at something immediately, i risk humiliation. i can't be new at anything, because if i'm not perfect immediately, i feel like i'd rather die

if i enjoy or am good at something and nobody's recognising it, then what's the point?

it makes me feel like such a child.

i used to really like reading and writing. i was hyperlexic. early in elementary school, i got into the highest lexile bracket & read everything in the library. i was constantly reading things at home. between the ages of 11 & 12, my state reading scores surpassed about 98% of students my age, i had the reading score of someone in college. i was told i was my english teachers best writer & critical thinker (& i would get upset if i was one lf the best, not the best. there's no point in settling for next best). my creative writing teacher had told the principal about my writing. meanwhile i also liked maths, i easily finished all my work before everyone else without the use of a calculator, but nobody recognised me for it. i got in trouble for getting 0 points on homework i did, but forgot to have a parent sign. i didn't get any recognition for speedy work in comparison to my amab peers. because of that, i decided to not even try. i would much rather fail my classes than be seen as average or not quite good enough. this same attitude persisted throughout highschool. although i was praised for being one of the best writers, i got so tired. i stopped reading, i stopped writing. because somebody might be better than i am. my little sister was good at reading through elementary and middle. she wasn't as good as i was, but she grew up with a much healthier family than i had & she got regularly praised for this when i only had been by my school. i didn't ever try to exert how good i was at english i was too over herw i supported her, but it also made me feel resentful & i just stopped trying to enjoy reading & writing because what was the point anymore? i stopped being known as the person who always asked questions, because i'd met other people that were like that too. i've nearly quit art so lany times. i can't even play a noncompetitive game without competition, because if i'm not constantly getting better at something, if i falter once, it could be grounds for a crash. if i get anything below a 95%, if someone recieves a score higher than me on something i genuinely tried on?

it's much safer to not try & pretend you don't actually care about it, because at least then it's an issue of effort, not what i am and am not capable of doing

yadda yadda yadda having npd fucking SUCKS sometimes but also i'm not gonna pretend my home life & school didn't enable this

[thereallovebug]

Here’s a very good article about queer representation in Good Omens (especially season 2) and it makes many valid points.

HOWEVER, I take issue with two of the author’s statements. Here’s the first:

“Good Omens doesn’t need overt coming-out scenes or direct declarations of love. Its queerness is baked in and impossible to miss when Crowley tells Aziraphale, “I’ll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go” and “we could go off together”. (Bold emphasis mine)

Uh, I hate to break it to anyone but heteronormativity is a hell of a drug and a lot (I dare say most) str8 people absolutely need queer declarations of love spelled out for them in plain English or they will excuse what they see and hear with “They’re just best friends! It’s a buddy-bromance show!” yadda, yadda.

Some fans did challenge NG for not having any plainly spelled-out declarations of love after season 1 with his answering them like this:

So yeah, not completely obvious to everyone.

The article also said this:

“he (meaning Gaiman) has never tried to retcon queerness into his work.”

Oh, I don’t know about that:

He says this now, but I doubt when he and Terry wrote the book in 1989 they intended Aziraphale and Crowley to be one of the “love stories.” (Have y’all actually read the book?) Queer love stories were just not on the radar of most str8 authors in those days, but if it makes him feel better to say so now, go ahead Neil, pull the other one.

Don’t get me wrong - I did enjoy and agree with most of this article but those two statements did make me roll my eyes a bit! 🙄 😆

[fimproda]

Author talks: (Negative) Opinions and reviews

(Grab some snacks and a drink. This is a chunky boi.)

This post was a long time coming.

I wrote a version of what you're about to read back in, like, 2019, on my Italian Wattpad profile, after years spent dealing with ungrateful authors and being called rude, wrong, and whatever negative adjective you can and cannot think of.

It's time to address this topic yet again, in English, here on Tumblr, hoping to reach as many people as possible and, the writing gods willing, change a mind or two.

The straw that broke the camel's back (or rather, my back) was a series of TikTok videos, made by a bunch of Italian booktokers, either in support or in opposition to another booktoker who had dared to review a pretty popular book that had made its rounds on Wattpad before being self-published on Amazon.

It so happened that I, for one, knew the author from our shared time on Wattpad, and I also knew the book, which wasn't good back then and is not any better now; moreover, I saw the video review and I agreed with the booktoker's every word, especially with the way this girl kept an even, calm, almost professional tone and justified every critique.

So you can imagine my surprise when a veritable swarm of detractors began stitching this booktoker's video, saying that her opinions were wrong, that she was bullying the author, and yadda yadda yadda; thankfully, some other booktokers were on her side, but this also meant that this back-and-forth shitstorm went on for days, and maybe it hasn't even ended yet.

I need to add that the author blocked this poor girl on every social media, and the book's most passionate readers (the ones that the author brought over from Wattpad and the author's friends/family, I assume) flocked to the booktoker's other accounts to keep blaming and disgracing her.

All this over a negative, yes, but overall objective and respectful review.

And it doesn't end here.

Many other straws continued to destroy the camel's back.

For instance, some accounts I follow for fandom content on Instagram or even here on Tumblr, who for the most part are not authors themselves, make a point to regularly remind people not to tag authors in their negative reviews of those authors' books.

On the other side of the coin, I've seen some authors, especially on TikTok, flip their shit over a "negative" review (and I should add even more quotes around the word negative, to be honest). Some even stated that a 3 out of 5 stars rating is a negative one, saying, "What would you think if a person called you 3/5 cute?!"

I don't know about them, or about you, but I would preen like a peacock if someone called me 3/5 cute.

(It'd be different if they said I was 3/10 cute, of course, but we can't really expect basic maths from some people, can we?)

Back in my Wattpad days, I've even stumbled upon someone who said that, seeing as all content on Wattpad is free (which is not even true nowadays, but whatever), no one has any right to leave a negative review. @zoyalannister can vouch for this; in fact, I believe it was her who sent me a screenshot of that comment, and we're still shocked about it years later.

I'm sure that some authors among you will understand how utterly pissed I get when I read, hear about, or get otherwise involved with such things.

So, with all this in mind, let's clear up a few things, shall we?

None of us is writing because we've got a gun to our head. We're writing, posting, interacting with readers, and everything related to this, because we want to.

In wanting this, we make our works public.

Some websites like AO3 allow us to choose if we'd like to "protect" our stories by keeping them out of reach of the unregistered users, but for the most part, everyone can search for our works, read them, and comment on them.

These are the terms and conditions. And yes, nobody really reads the terms and conditions before accepting them, but this doesn't give us a right to bitch about the consequences when they come a' knockin' at our door, does it?

Fuck around and find out, am I right?

Granted, there's comment and comment. If I, reader, come to you, author, and start insulting you, your family, your cow, and the interior designer who remodeled your kitchen, you have every right to call me all kinds of names (I wouldn't do that if I were the author, as it would mean debasing myself to the reader's level, but anyway) and slam-dunk my opinion into the trash.

(Yes, this happened to me. I've been insulted. One girl went as far as offering to, and I quote, "shit on your head, so that you close that sewer of a mouth". Context: I had commented on a story—not this girl's story: she was another reader, the author actually agreed with me—saying that I thought something was cacophonic; in Italian, this word sounds very similar to the verb cagare, which, indeed, means "to shit".)

Same thing if I, reader, come to you, author, and correct your grammar when there's absolutely no reason for me to do so, because your grammar is already correct.

(This happened to me, too. Many, many times. I know I've got an impeccable grammar in Italian; I even scored third in my age category at the nationwide Italian language Olympics when I wasn't even sixteen years old. I've been reading since I was, like, three or four, and "seriously" writing since I was thirteen. But people didn't like when I corrected their grammar, so they felt the need to come and correct mine. One memorable occasion was when a girl declared, in all seriousness, that the second singular person of the imperative of the verb fare must be always written as fa', with the apostrophe, and that my writing it as fai was wrong, because that was the second singular person of the indicative of fare. She ignored both that 1. the indicative and the imperative are the same exact thing in most cases, and 2. fa' and fai are the exact same thing as well, with the apostrophe representing the elision of the final i.)

Or, same as above, but exchanging grammar for, I don't know, a historical event, or a certain piece of information, or that kind of stuff in general, when you author were in the right and it's my sources that were wrong.

(An author, who was in university at the time, told me that she didn't know what inflation and spending power were, and so she hadn't accounted for them in her story. This happened after I mentioned those things when I pointed to her that you wouldn't hire an assassin in the 1960s with the same amount of money you would use nowadays. If I recall correctly, that author was majoring in a STEM field.)

(As a counterpoint, I was positive, for a long-ass time, that the hip bones were in fact a hip bone—meaning, that I should use the singular word, cresta iliaca, instead of the plural version, creste iliache. A reader corrected me on this, and I'm still thanking her today.)

You understand what I mean, right? Don't let me insult your intelligence by spoon-feeding you the meaning of my words.

But.

But.

If I, reader, come to you, author, and either correct your grammar when it's wrong, or a certain piece of information you chose to include in your story that is wrong, or whatever I decide to comment that could be perceived as negative—

—but I justify my point, cite my sources, maybe even linking them if possible, and keep my opinion contextualized and objective, you must at the very least lend me an ear and listen to what I have to say.

Never, in my nine years of roaming the fandom part of the Internet, have I ever written a comment on a fic saying something that I just pulled out of my ass, without checking first if there was any merit to my words. Never.

@zoyalannister can also vouch for this, as she's known me for eight of those nine years and witnessed many, if not all, of my altercations with my fellow Wattpad authors over my opinion of their story (which, allow me to clarify, they had literally asked me for—but again, even if they hadn't, their works were public and open for anyone to comment on, and I still would've been in the right).

Alas, it appears that many authors lack the self-awareness and self-criticism I believe are needed if you want to try your hand at writing, especially if you want to do it professionally.

And, good God, so do many readers.

Why, oh, why do some readers (some non-authors) go around proselitizing that people shouldn't tag authors in their negative reviews?!

Are they close personal friends with an author who doesn't like to be tagged in negative reviews of their books? Are they being paid to push this agenda? Do they have such a terrible relationship with criticism in every way, shape, or form that they feel like it's okay to get mad on someone else's behalf and dictate other people's actions?

These people like to say—parrot, is more like it—that negative reviews either don't benefit anyone, which is such an enormous pile of bullshit that I don't even know where to start dismembering it, or could only benefit the reader, essentially working as a way to help someone decide whether or not to read and/or buy that particular book.

I think negative reviews benefit both the author and the reader.

As an author, particularly as a Wattpad/AO3 author (but, if I understand correctly, self-published authors on Amazon can edit the digital version of their book with more or less the same ease), I cherish each and every correction comes my way, precisely because I can edit my text right away and, by doing that, make it better.

Aside from "small" corrections with regard to grammar or some other objective aspect of my fics, good, chunky, lenghty, justified, contextualized negative reviews in general help me rework my stories and make them better, both retroactively and for the future.

What I just said also applies to the flip side of the coin, when it's me, as a reader, writing the negative review.

Instead, with regards to reading negative reviews, even though I myself never look at reviews when deciding whether or not to add something to my already gargantuan TBR list, I can see why some people would rather read the reviews and survey the ratings before making that choice.

I should warn you, though, if you're one of these people, that very few reviews, be they positive or negative, can be taken at face value.

(In what follows, I will be talking almost exclusively about negative reviews, but everything I say can be applied to positive ones, as well.)

In my twenty-two years of age, I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that not everyone can truly read, and even fewer people can truly write, so the first problem you could run into is this: the person behind the review either understood fuck-all about the book they just read, or they did understand something but cannot put their opinion into words, or they didn't understand the book and cannot put their opinion into words.

The second problem is that some negative reviews are written with a specific purpose in mind, which is entertainment in some cases, clout in some others. Yet again, @zoyalannister knows how many times I barged into our Whatsapp chat to tell her that a SJM detractor on TikTok straight-up invented some stuff to rant about, subsequently getting views and likes and comments and general activity on their account.

Moral of the story: don't believe everything you see or hear about on the Internet, and always, always form your own opinion based on facts, not hearsay.

(Funnily enough, this is how I got hooked on SJM: I wanted to form my own opinion about her books. The rest is history.)

And, moral of the whole story:

Readers: as long as your opinion is not a personal insult to the author or even threatens to spill into that territory, and as long as the author didn't explicitly say that they don't want to be tagged in a negative review, don't ever restrain yourself from writing one and/or tagging the author, whatever other people might tell you.

Readers: stop speaking on authors' behalf. Not every single one of us will lose their mind if confronted with a negative review. Some of us are searching for just that. Let it be, as it should, an individual decision.

Readers: contrary to popular belief, you do not need to suggest an alternative route for all the things you comment negatively on. You do not need to sweeten the pill for the author with the proverbial spoonful of sugar. You do, however, need to explain the reasoning behind everything you say (or at least that's my opinion).

Readers: I will never block, slander, or insult you if you write me a negative review, even if you don't use the same courtesy towards me and your opinion is not justified in any way. In that case, I will only get mad and refute your every point, as I believe is my right to do.

Authors: don't be a bitch and listen to your readers, if they're making sense. Don't try to convince yourself that they're not making sense when they are.

Authors: look at your works with a judging eye. Be your first critic, be your own critic.

Authors: when facing a negative review, don't hide behind half-assed explanations or apologies or, God forbid, suspension of disbelief. If you fucked up, you fucked up. Cherish the reader who told you that, who maybe even told you how to fix it.

Authors: some reviews have to be destructive before they can be constructive. If there's mold on your bathroom ceiling, you don't just paint over it: you remove the mold first, and then paint over it.

Readers and authors: conduct yourself with dignity. Keep your cool, be level-headed, turn on your brain. And always, always, tell the truth.

Aaand I'm done.

A huge thank you (and congratulations) to everyone who got this far. Unfortunately, I'm everything but laconic.

I'd like to hear your thoughs about all this!

[foggyparadisecandy]

Once more ... no need to read this ... just me discussing personal messy stuff ...

For everyone who has been reading these catharsis posts ... I want to give a positive update.

In the end, K proved she was strong and brave as I always felt she was and she reached out to me to clear the air and give me closure.

I will forever be appreciative of this.

It would have been a hell of a lot easier for her to just bunker down and let things slide. It honestly reinforces many of the reasons why I fell for her in the first place. The strength she showed in this action is ... inspiring. God. She still stuns me.

She patiently cleared the air while I basically, straight-up interrogated her. I just don't have the words to describe how I feel about her amazing fortitude and patience throughout.

It not only cleared up a lot of things, it continued a change of perception that I had already begun before she reached out. I had started reading up on trauma and personality styles so I could better understand her pain (not that I could help her at the time but ... I still wanted to better understand ... idk why really except ... caring about her response and pain, and wanting to grow for myself) and I had come to realize how much my style of "concern and care" was most likely just creating more stress for her.

I have no excuses. I feel awful about it. She needed compassion and breathing room and I was crowding her out.

And that conclusion was correct. As she cleared the air, I saw that is exactly what I did. God does that make me ill. I didn't know any better but ... it's a weight that I need to figure out how to deal with.

I'm not saying she was perfect. I think ... the key is ... we both responded in ways that were natural to us. I had no empathy or understanding at the time because "needing space" is so foreign to me. I literally could not imagine that someone would not want my smothering blanket of love thrown over them.

I'm learning.

It is a PAINFUL lesson to understand that she was struggling and I was struggling and we weren't communicating - it all broke down on both sides.

I've said she was cruel. It's so much more complicated.

Yes, her actions cut me and hurt me but ... I understand better now. She wasn't being cruel. She was trying to survive the best she could.

As loving as I was in my style ... and I've said this many times before ... I can be "a lot" and she needed "a little" or even "none."

I was busy worrying about me and giving in to my fears that I was panicky and desperate.

IDK. In the end, it doesn't change the outcome which is what it is.

She's home and safe. My god is this such a relief for me. I have been so ... beside myself thinking she could be seriously hurt or worse and knowing how I had stepped over her troubles and hadn't picked up on. And yes ... I KNOW!!!! people keep reminding me ... I'm not a trained therapist and yadda yadda yadda but ... ugh ... it was still bothering me. If you have never been in that dynamic, you can't understand how important her well-being was to me. I'm still untangling that feeling!!

She is with someone who cares about her. This is such a relief too. Connections are so important. Anyone who reads my blog knows that I feel connections are the heart of our "best lives." This is so comforting to know she is with someone.

She is working on her stuff and getting more in tune with life and all that good stuff. I'm so happy to hear this.

She cleared up so many big and small concerns and questions I had.

I had already forgiven her. I know she read some of my catharsis posts ... where my pain was on display. Honestly I feel uncomfortable about that. I don't like her knowing how fucked up I was and am. *insert super-uncomfortable lol here*.

Plus ... although I recognized that she was in pain and I wrote about that in my posts, I never really UNDERSTOOD her style - her need to retreat from the world when facing massive stressors - until recently. I regret commenting that it was cruel of her.

If anything, her response was natural to her, and if I had paid better attention to her, I would have responded in a healthier way myself.

It's funny in life how people like me who give "too much" are generally considered healthier than people who retreat. But both styles are learned behavior and ... both styles are unhealthy in their own way.

Look ... I'm not saying this to convince anyone of anything but the truth is ... my approach was cruel TO HER as her approach was cruel TO ME.

She needed to be able to breathe. I was doing some very aggressive dom stuff with her at this time and ... fuck ... she was struggling.

And she is sorry for her approach and I am sorry for my approach. At least we both have recognized we bear mutual responsibility. God. I wish it was as easy for us to each forgive ourselves. I know her. I know me.

"FORGIVE YOURSELF" is a lovely idea but so fucking hard to execute in real life.

Even though I can't fully forgive myself ... I'm done beating myself up at least. I can't change the clock. I can't know then what I know now. Those days are done. Things are where they are. I'm growing and learning and getting better, and I'm going to do better with my next partner.

And ... very important to me ... I would love her to understand that, with the understanding and empathy I have now for her situation and style, "yes, it hurt me, but I don't blame you."

She has nothing to feel guilty about or to be sorry about. I had already forgiven her. That forgiveness has grown deeper with my new understanding and my new empathy for what she was going through.

The entire thing was a two-way street and we should have communicated better. WE. Not me. Not her. WE.

I thought we had a solid relationship and ... honestly ... we really really did. It was beautiful and lovely. I will always cherish what we had. She shared so much with me and I'm so lucky to have had that with her.

But we hadn't weathered a tough spot. We hadn't planned on a trauma point.

The truth is ... I still feel guilty for my part so she probably feels the same. My words are ... not enough. She has to get to self-forgiveness for herself just as I have to get there for myself. Forgive yourself is so fucking hard as a principle. So fucking hard.

Either way, for those of you out there who have been reading all this stuff ... and for those of you who sent her good wishes as I asked (ty ty ty!) ... she's going to be fine. And I'm going to be fine.

I am a lot stronger these days, but still fragile af. I'm still low-key depressed but ... tbh ... I've been low-key depressed my entire life. And things will probably get uglier as I dig into my childhood crap ugh.

But I'm learning so much, so fast, and, yeah, getting stronger each day.

Some days are hard. Very hard. But as she and I talked about a lot: progress is rarely a straight line. Some days you stall out and some times you even go back a bit. But that's why we keep our eye on our goal so we can re-orient and start moving forward again.

And honestly ... there are things she's working on and well ... not my business any more and ... I admit ... it's so hard for me because I'm me and feel how I feel ... it's so fucking hard to resist the urge to "help" her but the best help is to leave her be. She's strong. She's capable. She's a fighter. I've always believed in her and had faith in her.

IDK. IDK. IDK.

I'm working so hard on all areas of my life right now. It still feels like a bit of a sludge but it's picking up steam. I feel like I'm waking up to new possibliities each day and getting excited about stuff that I've had on auto-pilot for way too long.

I'm feeling this blog is reaching an end point for me. I've written hundreds of trances. Most get very little traction and ig that's ok because I write them to express a creative side.

But truthfully 90% of this blog was written for her since late April. lol. It's so crazy that a few months ago, I was going back to tag things I wrote for her and gave up because they WERE ALL FOR HER!!!! hahahaha

So I guess I need a new muse or maybe mothball this thing. Or I can post fun stories from my therapy sessions - kind of a sick vibe - but everyone could hear more about my parental damages and how dark I got in my late teens and twenties. Fun fun fun. The Foggy of today was a lot less sweet and kind and loving and caring back then.

I am not exaggerating when I say he was a dark angry monster who wanted to hurt people. Ahhhhh yeah... maybe I will share those stories.

If nothing else, they speak to how people CAN change and grow and evolve. We are not stuck by our past. Yes ... our past does shape us ... but we can adjust.

Plot summary:

I mostly used daily meditation, pride journalling, HATE journalling (not my fave but I filled notebooks and literally BURNED THOSE FUCKERS to let go of my anger, hate, and fear), vision setting, and reading two specific books each year through my 20s until the lessons soaked in.

NGL I still pretty much live with non-stop depression and a dark monster in the back of my mind who I can sense sometimes when I'm extremely frustrated. And THAT is why I'm seeing a therapist. To help deal with all this shit that I've suppressed.

To that point, K - if you are reading this ... I ran across a post from back in June that reminded me that I was thinking of ending things for myself so ... yeah ... don't blame yourself for my emotions. My pain, depression, darkness has always been in me. I am not sure what triggered it in June.

Probably the store ran out of my favorite ice cream or maybe I misplaced my car keys or some other calamity of equal measure. Depression is a fucker, dear reader, and you never know who struggles with it.

Be kind to others. Be kind to yourselves.

And btw ... I wonder how much I've learned. A very good friend told me today that I was not listening to her. I ... am such an imperfect person. I need to do better at listening.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Hahaha, heeeyyy poookieee 🥰 Long time no see fr. Which my apologies because I have literally been dying with my classes, my friends, family yadda yadda ykyk. But anyways, I've js been being a little silly willy and went through a depression episode that lasted months YAAAYYYY‼️‼️ I feel much better now, WE ARE UPP!!! Manic episodes have been a little less frequent too so that's also nice, I've just been feeling better and finally decided to give into my urges to check on my favorite Tumblr account (hint: it's you). Cause like I dunno I ended up deleting all of my social media apps and went on a streak of ignoring people yk wtv, BUT IM GLAD TO BE BACK 🥳‼️

Anyways, I forgot that kind of right before my yk thing happened you were making your new series for Inumaki, so I'll probably have to read that sooner or later. But fortnite has literally been calling my name, istg the amount of time I've spent on this game 😟 Am I frequently called a bum by my friends when I force them to play?? Yes, I am. Am I gonna stop telling them alpha is getting angry that they are disobeying my orders and I'm gonna eat their ass if they don't join?? No 🥰 Sometimes I'll force them onto the hole with me (it's a roblox game I love it, my baby daddy is the host he is so fine. I love the way he shits himself when he walks off the stage, or the way he splits his smexy legs when killing someone off 😖) I hope things have been SO SO SO WELL WITH YOUUU‼️‼️ I'll go and read asks and stuff too as well just to he caught up 😋

I WILL BE BACK SOON HOPEFULLY 😵‍💫

Xoxo 👽 (it feels so weird signing off here now ☹️)

OH MY GOD HELLO!!! IM SO GLAD UR FEELING BETTER NOW!!! AND YIPPEE FOR MANIC EPISODES BEING LESS FREQUENT WE R SO UP!! IM GLAD TO HAVE U BACK!!

i feel like everyone plays fortnite besides me i fear. UR GONNA EAT THEIR ASS LFMAOOFOF hmm okay interesting roblox game! (i’m scared.)

I WILL BE WAITING FOR WHENEVER UR BACK TAKE UR TIME 🫡🫡🫡🫡

[gleefullypolin]

You know, I always thought it was so very out of character for Colin to say what he says about her like he does. Maybe it was a product of s2 being not the greatest writing wise (I am being generous) but to have that right after the scene where he tells her she's special to him just to have that be the next thing she hears from him is disjointed. It was over the top and, of course cruel, but it didn't need to be. The context of it in the book is also hurtful but makes sense for Colin at the time.

The way the show did it seemed mean just to be mean. The writing overall last season felt...directionless? To take it all the way to the wedding and not really and truly have a situation that was forcing it to happen felt overly cruel as well. I think they put Colin in a situation that is unwinnable for both him and Penelope tbh. It's a bad writing choice in general and felt wrong. That man has never said a mean thing about her and suddenly he's standing there with a bunch of men who have never been overly nice to her and he says that? Nah, Colin would never outside of some bad character assassination.

I am impatiently waiting for Penelope to love Penelope too, she's really gone through it and deserves a break, poor kid. I hope she and Eloise reconcile. I would lean towards yes because otherwise it's unresolved until s4 or further and I don't think they would call Penelopise the 2nd love story of the season if they were letting it lie.

Why they chose to take a female character out of the fridge (she's very much a fridge character in Eloise's book) and then make her the absolute worst person around is baffling to me. So many people say it's just because Polins don't like Marina because of Colin but good lord, she was going to trick him, she didn't care about him, she was rude to almost everyone with no care, and seemed fine to use people at her discretion. Then they'll defend her saying they get her choices but Penelope is the one who went too far? Marrying someone that can never get a divorce and lying to him about kids that aren't his is a better choice than her ending up with a nice man in a nice house who is raising her kids and being kind to her, knowing the situation beforehand?

Just say the quiet part you want to say about Penelope out loud because no one is buying that, friends.🙄

I'm right there with you, I can cry at any movie or book at any time. Not so much in real life but give it to me in a fiction and I'll be a blubbering mess for no real reason, ha.

Yeah I didn’t understand how he went from “You’re very special to me” to “Not in my wildest fantasies” like dude how much did you drink? It felt like sloppy writing and drama for drama sake. But I agree. I did feel like a lot of last season went to places it didn’t need to go…like really you had to get all the way down the aisle dude? It felt like it was too much.

And now we have Colin who ran off with his careless mouth and now he’s a “man” or thinks he’s a man or something. I just think it’s going to be a true coming to age, need to grow up story for them both and I think too many people are judgy and don’t let ANYONE make mistakes and expect perfection out of the characters they ship. I think it’s gonna be one of those seasons where I just enjoy the pretty pictures and don’t read any of the tags. LOL!! Because I was looking at some pics of the 2 of them from S1 and S2 and the end of last season just made no sense to me.

But after what Pen went through with both Colin’s rejection (after he just told her how special she was and held her hand and took her dancing …yadda yadda boy what were you doing….) then Eloise basically tossing her out of her life, refusing to listen to anything she has to say, I’m pretty sure the girl is over everything.

I’m pretty sure if we see anything more than just their face next season people will burn the place to the ground. LOL!!! Though I would love to see Lord and Lady Whistledown writing the paper together next season just to see heads explode. LMAO!

Marina came off as selfish, insufferable, and just unlikeable. She was mean and cruel and cared about no one. She basically told Colin, get over yourself you child. So, I don’t know. I couldn’t find her redeeming. I get it, she was in a bad place for her time, but she went about it the wrong way for sure. Especially knowing how her cousin felt about the man she was trying to trap forever. It was just a bad storyline and I’m curious how they clean that up in Eloise’s story.

Too many people are trying to sidestep the Penelope stuff by just not liking her or blah blah but a lot of stuff I’m seeing is just rude to downright non sensical. “Fat girls aren’t fun” or “Why does she get to be a main character, she’s not a Bridgerton and she’s been in all the seasons already” I guess I’m just over it.  Nicola has handled it with grace and Luke seems to be a bit more uncomfortable with the spotlight so I imagine the comments about how “the fat boy is now fuckable” must be unsightly. I could never be in showbiz. People are ridiculous!

I cry out of frustration in real life. When I get angry, tears will flow. But give me fiction and the giddiest romantic notions will set me off. It’s a tragedy LOL

[thatqueercookie]

"I'm going on an adventure!"

So, I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3, as I said before. I've decided to keep a screenshot aided journal of my adventure since everyone's game and main character are different. This will be part Tav's (my character) internal narrative, part my own reaction, and part review. I'm about 14hrs into the game. The rest will be put under "read more" for spoilers and length.

So, Tav, half drow rogue, who's first plan is always to bullshit himself into or out of a situation, get's kidnapped by a Mindflayer ship. We know this. It's happened to all of us.

The first character I encountered was Lae'zel. On first impression. I like her. She's a firebrand. And she allied with me instead of killing me, even if she doesn't seem to like me much. She said these tadpoles the Mindflayers put in our brains will turn us into Mindflayers.

Luckily we realized the "tadpoles" they put in our heads made us psychically linked.

When we got further into the ship we found a woman still trapped. Shadowheart. Now, personally, I'm not a fan of this name for a humanoid. Shadowheart is a horse name. But she's very pretty so I'll let it slide.

Lae'zel was clearly more concerned with self-preservation than do-gooding. Normally, self-preservation is Tav's #1 priority as well, but when it comes down to clear right and wrong... Well, he just couldn't live with himself if he left someone to die, now could he?

Boy, did I have a hard time finding out how to release her her though! I had a friend jump on Discord and guide me. It's hard to get used to how movement and camera angles work in this game.

Now I forgot to take screenshots for a while after this.

We fought our way through the ship, it crashed, yadda yadda. I seemed to make a connection to the injured Mindflayer as the ship went down though. He gave me this... look.

I landed near Shadowheart on the beach. And here's where I fuck shit up momentarily. At our first waypoint, there's a locked door to a crypt. And what do I do as Tav, the show-off? I pick the lock. And I take us somewhere we're really not supposed to be yet. Instantly, there are traps everywhere. Perception rolls caught most of them but, damn. I disarm the traps.

Further into the crypt we find a door with no handle and no lock that has a voice coming from behind it. I have no clue how to open it nor can I find a puzzle, a spell, or a key. I give up and take us further into the temple. It isn't until we're past the monk's corpses and I've pushed a button I really shouldn't have pushed and a horde (and I mean a HORDE) of undead were lunging at us and the screen said OUTMATCHED that I realized how bad I'd screwed up.

I reloaded from a previous save but got lost again and encountered some thieves fighting over loot in a chapel. Naturally, they engaged. By the time I'd lost the battle 4 times, I'd done the math and realized this fight couldn't be won by two people.

Anyway, I consulted a guide and found out I was doing the Wilderness backwards.

I doubled back and met up with Astarion on the cliffside. Now, I really wish I got screenshots here but I forgot.

He'd cornered one of the Brains and he wanted me to kill it for him.

I said, "You look capable enough, do it yourself"

The second I turn he attacks me. Holds a knife to my throat. Oh, but you couldn't do that to the brain?

I deftly roll away from him. I explain to him what's happened to all of us and now he's kinda flirty. Well, knife to the throat is gay first base.

I wouldn't find out what second base was for him until later.

In the crashed ship we came across a dying Mindflayer. I actually felt sorry for it for a moment. Maybe it was the look it gave me as the ship crashed. I could sense its thoughts through the worm in my head. But it was manipulating me. I'm sure. So, I put it out of it's misery.

We found Gale in a portal on a cliffside. I can already tell this guy will be good for morale. Despite Astarion's reaction to him.

We followed the path until we found Lae'zel being held captive by some Teiflings. Probably never seen her kind before.

I bluffed that they should leave her to me and they ran off. I did tease her a bit before I let her out though *pats my gremlin* (she likes it)

Further on we got into a battle with some goblins at the gates of Emerald Grove. Where we were introduced to a new ally.

That's Wyll. Blade of the Frontiers. I won't get to talk to him until later though.

Inside there was a battle of another kind. Teifling refugees versus the resident Druids.

And they're not too fond of Drow either.

We made camp for the first time and, frankly we should all be exhausted. But still we stay up to talk (which is my favorite part)

I really like how they all look dressed down as well as the romantic lighting and the camp designs.

Astarion asked how I'd like him to kill me should the whole tadpole situation go south and, frankly, I'm onboard with that idea. Rather die than be that. I chose the knife. It's quick if you use it in the right spot. That... interested Astarion? Maybe he was turned on.

Shadowheart overheard the conversation and completely agreed.

She also said that the Mindflayers told her she'd be a beautiful weapon. I told her it was a compliment. She saw right through that.

Tav flirts with everyone but doesn't expect anything to come of it. If someone actually responds earnestly, he goes dopey-faced.

Oh, but what's this? Astarion is sneaking out of camp at night? Why, whatever for? lol

The next day in Emerald Grove I ran across an urchin selling fake lucky rings. Tav grew up a pickpocket himself, so he gave the kid some advice on how to run a better scam and showed him a little slight of hand and while I was doing that HE ROBBED ME. Now I have to find the urchin ringleader, Mol to get my stuff back.

There was a bard in the grove trying to get our story of the goblin battle while adding some *ahem* flourish of his own.

I'm really impressed with the facial expressions in this game. They're very genuine.

Unfortunately, there is a power hungry madwoman in the inner sanctum. When I walked in she was about to execute a child for minor theft.

Luckily I convinced her to let the girl go but, Hells, calm down!

Now, something about this triggered something in Shadowheart. I asked her about it when we stepped away but she didn't want to tell me and I didn't want to pry so I let it be.