#so when he finds something - someone - who fills those spaces so easily. well. isnt it only natural he does everything to keep it that way?

[touyaz]

winter i am very curious who you think is the very best most important jjk yandere . would you be willing to share your thoughts 🎤

MEGUMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no competition! no doubts in my mind!

i just think !! he is so incredibly possessive (+this is the only post coming to mind rn which maybe kind of explains it but he is thee mother hen man™ of jjk to me) but he gets overshadowed by characters like gojou, getou, and yuuta which makes him even scarier bc! you don't see it coming! the signs are all there but it's always too late!!!!!!!!

[devak66]

His first transformation

Eyyy i finally finished this

i thought it would be fun

word count: 1457

explaination in tags

The day starts… much better than others. Ranboo is going for a walk, paying some respects to the damage that Dream had caused to L’Manberg. The crater where it once stood. Ranboo clutched his memory book, looking at what the now imprisoned man had done. Ranboo smiled. Things were going to get better. He hadn’t heard the voice in a while, he found a new home by Phil and Techno. Nothing could ruin this moment.

“Hello dreamon” Fundy’s voice chirped from behind Ranboo, making him jump, luckily he wasnt so close to the ledge he was at risk of falling into the crater but he was still spooked. He turned to face the fox with a very confused “What..?”

“Don’t play dumb with me” Fundy said with a smug smile “Dream told me a while ago. Now Dream is in prison and i want to run some tests on a real dreamon”

“I.. I’m not a dreamon. I’m half enderman-”

“And your other half is dreamon. Honestly i'm surprised i didn’t realize sooner” Fundy took a step towards Ranboo, making the hybrid step closer to the ledge

“N-no… that.. That can't be” ranboo felt his anxiety rise at this idea. It feel wrong but… what… what if Fundy is right. No. That can’t be “I… If I were, why does it matter…?”

Fundy was reaching for something in his bag “well. Ranboo, i'm a part of a little group of people called Dreamon Hunters. And if you’re at all related to a dreamon like Dream, you need to be dealt with”

Ranboo took a step back, right on the ledge. What? Related to Dream…? No.. that can't be true, can it..? “What.. does that mean…?” he glanced down as Fundy had grabbed what he was looking for and with a quick movement had produced a bottle of something and splashed it on Ranboo, who screamed in pain and fell backwards. What Fundy had splashed on Ranboo was not just any water, it was prime water, something very dangerous to dreamons. “Holy shit..” Fundy said looking over the edge, Ranboo had landed on a decent sized ledge, clutching his new burn. The stress and raw emotion of this situation was making Ranboo’s body change.. and transform “it worked!” Fundy smiled

Ranboo’s horns grew longer, as did many of his features. His fingers became closer to claws as a growl grew in his throat. This is when Fundy realized “wait.. it worked” he backed up a few steps when he heard what could be described as a sheik of rage. Fundy quickly pulled out his communicator and sent a message to Tubbo “dreamon. L’Manberg crater. Hurry” he looked up to see the creature that was earlier Ranboo use his longer limbs and claws to pull himself out of the pit

Fundy started to back away from the very angry dreamon “H-hey… ranboo… i can guess youre a little angry” he reached for his bag. Ok.. take inventory. Sword, hoe(of course for defending against dreamons), and.. Perfect. A bottle. Fundy triumphantly pulled it out to find.. Empty. Fuck “C-come on.. It wasnt personal a-and in my defence… it was for research and I didn’t think it would work” that was the exact wrong thing to say. The dreamon roared in rage and charged. Fundy turned tail and ran, checking his communicator with hopes that Tubbo was nearby, but he couldn't tell because tubbo hadnt responded. After several sharp turns, the fox had made it to the holy land. Dreamonic ranboo skid to a stop just at the border, not even trying to step onto the land of prime, he did try to rake his claws at Fundy, who was thankfully just out of range. Fundy’s communicator chirped with a notification. Fundy took it out and glanced at the dreamon pacing the border. Waiting. Fundy checked the message, it was from tubbo, that said ‘A dreamon! Holy shit! Where are you so you can tell me more’ 

Fundy responded with a simple ‘I’m at church prime, barely escaped it. Be careful when you get here, it's still roaming’ Tubbo gave a quick response and Fundy looked at the beast. It’s eyes held a rage that Fundy didn’t know Ranboo could even have. Moving to the safer space of the church, he glanced over to the dreamon, who was pacing by the border of the holy land.

After a few minutes, Tubbo walked in, wearing his dreamon hunting clothes, looking over at hi compatriot “I messaged Sapnap but he said he’s busy doing something with Karl and Quackity”

Fundy sighed “Then it’s just the two of us”

“How did dream even get out of prison. I thought that place was inescapable”

“It’s not Dream. Its someone else. I thought you’d be able to tell when you saw it” Fundy felt a twinge of panic at what he knew was coming of Tubbo’s response

“I didnt see any dreamon” tubbo saw the fear in Fundy’s eyes

“We need to go. Now. before someone else finds it. Someone who cant defend themself” Fundy was ready to go, as he had already filled some bottles with prime water. Tubbo nodded and turned to leave, Fundy following after “I doubt we’ll be able to do the ritual, but with any hope we can weaken it enough to transform back to normal form”

“You saw the dreamon transform.. Holy shit” as they passed over the border  of the holy land, Tubbo thought to ask a very important question “If not Dream, who is the dreamon?” 

Before Fundy could answer, a roar echoed through the air, startling some birds. Fundy reached for a bottle of prime water, looking around quickly trying to pinpoint where the sound came from, before he saw it. Long thin limbs ending with clawed almost paws. Those red eyes completely ignored Tubbo as it charged, running on all fours, to kill the bastard who burned him in the first place. It was more difficult to tell with the burns on his body, but the white of his skin was creeping further as he was in this form longer. It was barely noticable as it hasnt been too long but anyone who knows Ranboo well would be able to tell. Before he could lunge he heard a the voice of his best friend, in absolute shock, say “Ranboo?”

Ranboo, if you could call this dreamonic form Ranboo, skidded to a stop, basically sitting on the ground like a dog. “Ranboo.. Is .. his other half is Dreamon..” Tubbo was dumbfounded, but he did notice how ready Fundy was to use his prime water “Fundy! Put that away, this is our friend!”

“That thing isnt ranboo! Its a monster using his form to trick you!” Fundy replied, hearing the growl growing from Ranboo.

 “Fundy. Stop. We.. we can try to snap him out of this..” Tubbo said

“Are you kidding! It doesnt care about you! It will kill you at it’s first chance”

“Stop. We are doing this and that is final. Understood fundy?” Tubbo was getting angry, fundy didnt say anything “we.. just need to remind him of who he is” Tubbo looked at the dreamon. He had calmed down, his tail swaying a bit like a cat’s. On his back was a small set of insectoid wings, Nowhere near large enough to use to fly. Neat.

“Ranboo.. Do you remember who i am?” Tubbo tried, only getting a tilted head in response “I.. I’ll take that as a no.. I’m Tubbo, you-”

“This isnt going to work. If you want to remind him of who he is-”

“Fundy..”

“Who he is is a fucking coward” fundy looked straight at the dreamon, who seemed to actually flinch at that “When i first heard what he believed i thought he was an indecisive, insane spineless fuck but when i realized he was right and wanted to join him to continue what he believed he left me like everyone in my fucking life” Ranboo seemed to be slouching.. Or at least.. Smaller.. Closer to his normal size, he backed up a bit away from the angry fox “and even now when he could so easily kill me, youre being a fucking coward” Ranboo whimpered

“Fundy enough”. Tubbo was looking at the dreamon. Ranboo was about his normal size but his eyes were still that red. “Ranboo.. Its o-” Ranboo had gotten up and made a run for it in the opposite direction, Tubbo was angry “fundy what the fuck!”

“Looks like it worked”

“Thats not my point!”

“Hes half dreamon. Hes a danger and if you dont understand that then i will deal with him if he ever goes to that state again. Understood, Tubbo?” Fundy glared

[normal-thoughts-official]

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

[alkhale]

I'm a sucker for underdogs do you have any headcannons for the less popular ships with fuyu?

FuShi won’t be included here because y’all lowkey really into that one ain’t cha

KiriKi (Kirishima/Kouki)

- this is probably one of the softest and most wholesome of all the ships, like y’all thought Midoriya and Fuyu is soft but they actually butt heads we just haven’t gotten there yet

- Kirishima sees more than he lets on because he comes from a place of wanting to change and become something better, he can see that a lot in those who want it

- Fuyu has always seemed like someone who toes a darker line that what he’s used to and as someone who was about to quit everything he’d ever wanted to be, he pushes support and tries to be sturdy for her

- it’s the sturdiness that gets her, for someone who’s never felt the ground solid beneath her feet, Kirishima is this big, loveable hunk of rock she can’t move or shake, it makes her gravitate

- they’re the type to show up at each other’s houses with a surprise and find out the other isn’t home because they picked the same day to show up and surprise them (they meet halfway and go somewhere then)

- it’s a duo that’s plus infinity defense and health stats, people cry tears of joy when they pair up for rescue missions, they want them to open up an emergency rescue team clinic

-supportive, supportive, supportive

YamaYu (Aoyama/Fuyu)

- literally no one sees this coming except for Tokoyami

- not even Fuyu would see it coming

- Aoyama is the type to do things flashy, very flashy, but he’s a proper gentleman and he does this whole courtship process in style, total peacock mode

- it’s really extravagant gifts Fuyu tells him not to waste money on, flowers, lots of flowers, beautiful notes left on her desk with his face drawn beautifully in every corner

- Fuyu’s just like lmao typical Yama, you’re such a weirdo

- she heals his stomachaches out of secondhand habit at some point, someone points it out and she’s just like well who else is going to help him

- he throws flower petals onto her and she’s sitting there like what and Aoyama says she’s beautiful

- this is where Fuyu loses it and might fall very hard

YoaYu (Inasa/Fuyu)

- he’s loud, Fuyu tends to avoid super loud and energetic people but he’s a persistent, steadfast sort of guy

- he blows into her life like a hurricane, Fuyu gives him credit for his vigor but is always yelling at him to tone it down

-the kind of guy to drag her around and push her very far our of her comfort zone, she puts up a fight but eventually he wears her down because Fuyu isnt equipped to fight with these kinda people

- it’s the feeling he gets on the first connection when she links with him once to heal him, it rushes through him and there’s something about the wild look in her eyes and the bit of danger she flashes with feral grins and it takes one practice match where he sees her ready to pummel and decimate, blood all around her and she catches him with a glance over her shoulder

- oh shit, she’s hot

- he’s always been the type to be drawn to the things that strike him, power, vigor, gusto, hotbloodedness, but there’s an energy to her and something he can’t shake

- a good majority of friends from his school advise him against it (”Bro, you do not have the hots for that crazy Yuuei third year. You know she nearly pummeled that guy during the school tournament–” “I know, she’s so hot.”)

- Fuyu’s always barking at yapping at him, he’s often reminded of a stray dog that does bite but hey, he’s never been afraid of a little hardwork

- Fuyu loses her shit with him when he casually picks up roaches, he thinks its cute because she climbs onto his shoulders and starts screaming

- he’s real tall so she kinda hates it cause she’s just average height

- good luck, Inasa

FuJi (Fuyu/Jirou)

- Jirou always makes playlists for her, Fuyu is easily won by these small acts of kindness and she’s so bad at gathering these things together herself that she just can’t

- she sends her good music and downloads it to cassettes or burns cds, whatever Fuyu needs, she loves that Fuyu has a record player (”So vintage, dude.”)

- she finds the song that Fuyu loved because her mother loved it, they spend hours listening to it and the album and Jirou realizes that Fuyu has fallen asleep on her shoulder and she takes very quiet pictures because Fuyu not punching someone in the face for touching her head is a very rare Fuyu, she tries not to be flustered and weird about this

- Fuyu spends a really long fucking time making her a playlist that’s hours long to finally thank her

- Fuyu loves to hear her play and sing, the beautiful voice reminds her of Naomi and her mom and it’s the fastest way to calm her down

- everyone is chilling in a common space and sometimes Jirou hums, it becomes super quick for everyone to realize whenever Fuyu’s stressed out and edgy, hearing humming and any kind of singing just instantly get her settled again (many try to sing but they fail very miserably so Jirou is the go-to)

“Jirou, she’s cutting every fake limb and sewing them all back together repeatedly again–”

“Got it.”

“She’s trying to sneak a pack again–”

“Toss ‘em out. I’ll be right there.”

- Fuyu is actually lowkey a good singer so Jirou drops everything when she finds out

- it’s the kind of relationship that’s built over a lot of time and moments, trust and gradual comfort found in each other’s presence that becomes something that can’t be filled by anyone else

I’m not sure what else u guys ship but just lemme know and i’ll do mah best :^

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

I never gave up on you, even when the world acted like it did.

So Im going to preface this with the fact this is about Damian Wayne and an Oc of mine that I ship with him that really only my girlfriend is going to fully understand. This is a DC oc that I haven posted anything about yet, only shared it with my girlfriend as I add to her and refine her. But I was greatly inspired by a fic written by @my-one-love-is-music about Tim faking his death. It gave me so many emotions and is the whole inspiration behind this piece of writing and I just had the urge to post it. Its a bit rough because its not beta’d or proofread by anyone(even me) because I’m publishing it right after finishing it but I hope you guys will like it anyway! 

My girlfriend is going to kill me for this...

I never gave up on you, even when the world acted like it did.

It wasn’t true. It COULDN’T be true.

Damian refused to accept or believe G...She was just...de--gone. 

No no she wasn’t gone. It didnt feel right. It wasnt right. She...she was too strong to just be taken down like that.

Damian refused. He wouldnt accept she was gone. 

That was the first week, the start of the first month of her “death”. While the team and the world grieved he vocally and aggressively denied it. His attitude concerned most, but no one approached him at first. 

        “ Everyone grieves differently...just leave him be for now you guys. He just needs time...” Grayson was the one who rationalized his denial, his tone low and almost dead. The voice of a man whose gone through a loved one’s death before...no...the voice of the boy who went through THIS particular loved one’s death before.

The concerns for Damian’s well being and mental health arose stronger after the first month of denial, when the obsessive behavior began.

She wasnt dead. She was alive, she HAD to be, she WAS alive.

Thats what Damian told himself, everyday as he obsessively searched for her. Every hint, every even slightest trace was poured over over and over and over for days on end. Something was off, he knew it he knew it goddammit!  Everything about it was off and wrong. She was too strong, the death was too sudden, they weren’t allowed to see the body...

He scoured over every single little detail of the mission, the time it happened, everything. He watched video surveillance frame by frame, second by second until his eyes stung and his vision was as blurry as some of the footage. He knew she was alive, he didnt care what everyone else said. They were wrong...

They had to be wrong.

His behavior, his refusal of her absence began starting arguments between Grayson and Kori. Damian acted out worse during missions, he refused to listen, and if he wasnt forced to go on missions or patrols he was locked away in his room searching and hunting for hints, clues, little trails she’d have left for him. But he knew of the arguments, arguments he heard when they thought he wasn’t there.

         “ Dick, his behavior isn’t healthy at all! He isnt listening at all anymore. He’s hurting himself with this obsession. Nothing I say makes a difference to him but he sees you as a brother, you have to do something, he’s spiraling into a dark state of mind thats not letting him move on!”

          “Kori...”

          “Dick you need to do something. This isn’t healthy it isn’t normal--”

          “ Kori I understand you’re worried. I’m worried about him too. But...I also understand what he’s going through...when...back when I first lost Gr--lost Her all those years ago...I was exactly like Damian is now. I didnt want to accept it, I refused to accept she was dead, even when she died in my arms Kori. I know that his obsession isnt healthy or even really helpful for him but I understand it. He’s in pain and distressed and angry and this unhealthy denial is natural. He just needs more time, some more supervised space, and understanding...” 

Damian walked away from that room before they noticed him, a small bubble of gratefulness in his chest at Grayson’s defense. But he was still angry.

She wasnt dead. How could even Grayson give up on her so easily?! 

He knew they thought he was going crazy by the middle of the second month, that he was seeing things that werent even there. At a person who wasnt there. 

The denial and obsession got worse. And with it so worsened his temper. 

They stopped speaking her name around him when he almost took off Beast Boy’s head with his sword for mentioning her name in a past tense. He forgot to eat a couple days at a time, he now outright refused to go on missions. He didnt understand. How could they go on these other pointless, unrelated missions when she was out there, alive and possibly in need of help. He started losing more and more sleep, time not spent searching filled with restless hours of nightmares. Of her, calling his name, of her lost and alone in a strange unfamiliar place, of her captured and tormented.

Those ones he’d wake up in a cold sweat and spend the rest of the night searching, sometimes waking up screaming with bangings and pleads to be let in on his locked door.

Damian knew she was out there. She was leaving him a trail, he just had to figure it out and follow it.

By the third month he looked like a train wreck with feet. He was exhausted, empty, and shakily staying awake on blinks of sleep and caffeine. But now he was leaving, constantly leaving his room and the tower to chase after leads and clues to find her. All over the city, all over towns outside the city. He marked each dead end on a map he pinned up to his wall so he didnt follow a wrong lead twice. He was haunted by ghosts of her presence, her laugh, her comments. The only reason he’d remember to eat was imagining her voice in the back of his mind

Damian look at you! You’re not gonna be a good Robin if you dont eat jerk. 

So he would eat and go back to his work. Even when his father broke his lock open and dragged him across country back to Gotham to get him away from the city it happened in.

       “Shes not dead Father. I know she’s not. Why wont any of you believe me?!”

       “ Damian....I know how much it hurts to lose someone...And I know you don’t want to believe it...but sometimes its better to accept reality and move on for them.” He caught the fist the young boy threw towards his stomach. He hadn’t properly trained in awhile, he was reckless and his reflexes had slowed since Kori had stopped him from locking himself in the training room without supervision, before he started finding leads.

      “ Damian...”

      “ She’s out there, She is still alive Father. I know she is. I dont care what you or Grayson or anyone else says. She is still alive and I will find her and bring her back, even if it ruins me.”

The middle of the third month was practically lived in the Batcave, using every new resource now available to him. He still went out and searched Gotham, searched towns and cities around it ruthlessly. Nothing really stopped him, from requests, orders, threats, even blocking and locking up exits after leaving for patrols. Damian still found his way out  and continued following lead after lead. He felt as if he was slowly going crazy, seeing glimpses of her in crowds or on streets. But every time he’d catch them it either wasnt here or she was gone by the time he caught up. 

But he didnt give up. He wouldnt give up on her like everyone else.

She never gave up on him, he refused to let her down by not doing the same.

Even as some nights doubts flooded his mind, clouding his resolve. 

Shes out there...she has to be....right? 

It was the fourth month. He was almost broken from exhaustion and on the verge of completely losing his mind when Grayson gently coaxed him from the Bat Cave to the Tower. He was so exhausted he didnt register the slight apologetic tilt to his worried frown, the almost guilty pleading light to his blue eyes. 

When they got to the Tower and Damian set his foot on the pavement he almost pulled out his sword and attacked Grayson on the spot if he had more of a mind to. His anger flared then swept itself away in the wave of emotions that struck him seeing the female figure standing beside Red Hood, looking at him with the small smile he’d almost forgotten.

     “ Damian...what the hell happened to you?” 

Her voice, low, shocked, concerned and alive was what snapped him into motion, storming over to the two with an enraged look of death. 

Her dark hair was longer now, starting to lightly brush her shoulders instead of her ends of her ears. She’d lost a little weight and she was dressed differently than she normally would. But those aqua green eyes were still the same he remembered, eyes dark with concern at his silence.

He kept storming for her, fists clenching  so tight his hands began to sting and he looked like he was about to punch them both in the face. 

      “ Damian...? Shit Damian you look terrible what--” She never got to finish that sentence before Damian was holding her in a bone crushing hug that actually knocked some breath out of her. He held her as tight as he could, held her warm, real, living and breathing body in his grip and let himself relax for the first time since she left him. 

She was there, she was ok, she was ALIVE.

He felt her arms slowly but surely wrap around him in response, one hand grasping onto the back of his shirt and the other slipping around his shoulders, her face pressing into his shoulder. Her scent flooded his senses, she smelled a little different, like soap and tacky strawberry shampoo but it was still her.

      “ Gracie...Gracie I swear if you ever....EVER pull a stunt like that and fake your fucking death on me again I will kill you myself when i get my hands on you...Dont ever do that again...” His threat didnt bother her by the sound of her soft, apologetic laugh. Her grip around him tightened and his body loosened and uncoiled as if her presence her touch was carefully unwinding a tightly coiled spring. The world around him was a bit of a blur as she moved away to look up at him and press her hand, her warm living hand, to his cheek with a apologetic smile.

      “ I wont do it again...I promise Damian...never faking my death again. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you...im sorry.” He shut his eyes and leaned into her hand, letting her voice, her touch, HER wash over him. She was here, in his arms, alive and breathing and talking and HERE.

      “ I never gave up...” He felt her perk up at his words, even felt the almost puppy like confusion. He opened his eyes and gave a small vulnerable smile that he only showed few people and his pets. He moved his hands to cup her face before pulling her into another embrace, cradling her in his arms tight as if she would disappear the moment he let go of her.

      “ I never gave up on you Gracie...Even when the rest of the world acted like it did....I never stopped looking for you, following the trails you left me.” She smiled, eyes getting wet and glassy.

      “ You....Fuck Damian...I really dont deserve you...and I know you almost caught me a few times...” He chuckled softly and leaned his head forward pressing his forehead to hers. 

       “ Dont ever do that again or I’ll skin your hide.” She gave another soft laugh, the sound almost music to his ears after the past for months of hell.

       “ Never again.” He smiled and leaned his face more, the relief physically showing on his body as he pulled her closer.

       “ And thank you...for not giving up on me.” 

End 

And There it is! I know it might be kinda crappy but the inspiration hit and I wrote everything that came to my head! I hope you guys like it and if you have any questions about the Oc Gracie feel free to ask! I love babbling about her!

@phantommoonpeople @preciousthingsareprecious

Please reblog with the tags if you like it!

[jasondean]

i'm sending you the first thing i thought of when i tried to think of an ask to send you. so. here's this cursed thing. heathersstuck.

ohhh my god okay first of all im gonna preemptively apologize for how long this is about to be. 

another disclaimer that this is all gonna be based on my knowledge of the alternia that we see in homestuck itself because i havent gotten super into hiveswap yet. and, as we all know, any good homestuck au is one where the contending canon is thrust into the homestuck universe as opposed to the other way around. so im gonna spare everyone the painful ideation of plucking a small handful from the VAST homestuck cast just to put them into the plot of heathers

im ALSO gonna preface that im thinking about the heathers film while writing this, not the musical. and im not gonna go into anything regarding martha, betty, kurt, or ram because i think focusing on the main cast is enough for right now lol. 

anyway, potential positions in the blood caste system as well as god tier assignments under the cut!  

so ive definitely thought about this on several occasions and ive seen some heatherstuck content where the heathers are trolls right. the thing is, the color symbolism from both media dont line up. and the heathers being drawn to keep their original colors just doesnt work out with the hemospectrum. like no way is heather chandler a red blood or mutant blood (imo itd make sense for jd to have mutant blood). the heathers being red, yellow, and green blooded would just make them a group of lowbloods and that doesnt fit with the power structure depicted in either canon. 

heather chandler would absolutely have fuchsia blood! i couldnt imagine it any other way. duke could maybe get away with being jade blooded because thatd put her in the midblood range but also what does that leave for mcnamara? i dont really have a good answer for that right now but - 

the heathers themselves aside, veronica would actually be pretty well suited for being some kind of blueblood (teal or cerulean maybe?) veronica being blue blooded would put her in a position of enough privilege to be taken under chandlers wing but also not privileged enough to naturally be at the top. 

jd would probably be rust or mutant blooded. but its also fun to consider: purple blood? since those in that blood class are more susceptible to becoming more ..unhinged. however, i personally favor rust or mutant blooded since i am partial to reds and it would help play into his hatred of society.

trolls or not though theyd all be destined for something right? so im gonna move onto potential god tiers. 

now this is where my laptop cut out so most of the classpect analyses themselves come with help fom http://dahniwitchoflight.tumblr.com

im imagining veronica as a rogue of space. first of all, space players are CRUCIAL to a session as one of the cardinal aspects (space & time making up the fabric of paradox space). its been said by calliope that space can be a passive aspect that holds great power, “hosting the stage before suddenly in some way ‘showing who the master truly is’” and then collapsing in on itself. space players are essential to sessions because it falls on them to light the forge which is necessary for the process of ultimate alchemy (creating the next universe) - and that aside, the idea of veronica collecting and breeding frogs is incredibly cute to me. 

“Those bound to the aspect of Space are, as the name suggests, concerned with the big picture. They are patient, masters of the art of ‘wait-and-see’, and are inclined to take things as they come. That isn’t to say that they’re pushovers or willing to let injustice lie-they just choose their battles wisely, understanding that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before. To this effect, they tend to be innovators, concerned with creation and redemption. Catch them recycling the old to make the new, the fresh, and the beautiful. For the Space-bound, the journey is as, if not more, important than the destination; how they do something is as important as what they do. At their best, they are steady, impartial, and creative. At their worst, they can be detached, apathetic, and vague.”    – this description of space players comes from the extended zodiac quiz itself 

rogues invite theft through their aspect or theft of their aspect. they have problems coping with their aspect or their supposed lack of it, they think that they cant handle it which causes them to give it up too easily. the challenge rogues face is to come to terms with their aspect and own it. 

heres a bit on rogues of space specifically: “They might have a tendency to quickly change the subject into others things or cover their interests up to distract from what they perceive to be their failed creations. They may feel uncomfortable with the thought that everything is random and meaningless in the universe, or that it is what you make of it, because they often think they don’t know what to make of it. They may feel lonely at times and feel like they have too much Space to themselves, wanting to fill it up with other people and things. They might lower their standards to the point that they give up their personal Space to someone not worthy enough, just so they won’t feel alone.On the flip side they might feel like they have too much stuff, maybe because they invite others to use up their Space, giving it away too readily, lamenting their lack of impatience with others, or the ability to say no to people. […] a Rogue’s challenge is to learn to be comfortable with their Aspect, and allow the healthy parts of it to enter their lives. They must learn to be okay with what they have right now, that they have it within themselves to change things and make them better. They don’t have to give up so easily.”

jd seems like hed obviously be a prince of doom and this feels self explanatory but. princes are described as being stubborn and pessimistic and they actively destroy using their class / destroy through their class. a princes challenge is to not end up destroying themselves along the way. doom aspect because not only does it pretty much encompass chaos, but the symbol (and the aspect itself has been speculated to be) pretty clearly draws from The Tumor which is. a giant fucking bomb essentially. another fun tidbit about doom players is that they are DEATH MAGNETS they die a LOT and its theorized that for this reason sburb has a sort of game mechanic in place to help balance that out by granting doom players multiple dream selves. i just think itd be really fun to see a sburb session where jd (maybe) cant be kept down by dying. doom is also associated with judgement and sacrifice, and have been said to be “fates chosen sufferers.” “doom players are wise, kind, and non judgmental at their best and bitter, resentful, and fatalistic at their worst.” 

and while i definitely think the doom class is fitting for jd im stuck between prince and bard? bards are the embodiment of the “wild card”. they allow destruction through their aspect / invite destruction through their aspect and their challenge is to not be ruled by the whims of their aspect. and im just now thinking that while this does make sense in its own way, princes and bards are active / passive opposites and i cant really imagine jd being the more laid back of the two. hes just too extra, lol. although i love the idea of jd being in that ridiculous bard getup 

heres some insight to princes of doom: “A Prince of Doom unapologetically pushes people way past their own limits. They are truly passionate, even almost crazy activists. They hate being told no or that they can’t do something, but are more likely to simply destroy or kill the person who said no then prove them otherwise. Depending on what kind of situation or session they find themselves in, and whether or not what they do is really needed at the moment, they can be heaven sent saviors, freeing people from what binds them, or terrifying dictators, ruling over people and enforcing their will wherever they want, letting nothing and no one limit what they do. […] They likely use Bombs and Fire as their main weapons. They have a lot of potential to go down a very destructive or even evil path if they use their powers irresponsibly, but not every Prince of Doom is automatically evil or will Doom their session.“

heather chandler i can definitely see being a witch of rage. witches manipulate using their aspect or manipulate their aspect directly and their challenge is to use their rule breaking powers in a morally conscious way. 

heres some info about witches of rage: “You don’t tell a Witch of Rage anything, they tell you. Anything you have to say they can Reject with Doubt, Negativity and Skepticism and be like ‘No you’re wrong, it’s actually this way.’ They manipulate fear, mistrust and anger, either lowering it or making you believe it’s not all that bad, even if it is. Or they can amplify it, making you paranoid and afraid of even mundane things. […] They can be ‘loose cannons’ and this can be good or bad, depending on how good you are on getting them on your side and keeping them there. Their entire moral challenge lies in the choice between using their powers on their allies or their enemies, like most witches.”  

heather duke would likely be a maid of mind. a maid creates with their aspect / creates their aspect, and a maids challenge is to rely on themself for their aspect. this absolutely isnt to say that duke cannot think for herself at the beginning of the story by any means.

here’s a bit about maids of mind: “At first they tend to defer to the decisions of the group rather than be a part of them and are more focused on watching and waiting and seeing how other people make decisions. […] When a Maid of Mind starts rising to their challenge, they start deciding for themselves what roles they need to play and when. […] They may just have an apathetic and indifferent personality in general. They start letting their thoughts and decision be known and have an effect instead of just referring to others and blending in.” 

and finally heather mcnamara would probably be a page of heart. (i had a hard time coming up with a god tier for her since, if im being honest, shes not a character i pay much attention to.) pages invite exploitation of their aspect / invite exploitation through their aspect. they start with a deficit in their aspect that they overcome through (obvious) overcompensation. their challenge is to keep at things, even if they fail or the journey is slow, to become stronger in the end. 

bit about pages of heart: “They can be very over dramatic in their emotional displays, blowing up every little thing completely out of proportion and giving disproportionate emotional responses to almost everything. […] They can be easily exploited through all of this by other people who either take advantage of the Page’s emotions and empathy, or take advantage of the Page’s obsessions and desires, using it against them. […] When they rise up to their challenge, they start learning to be more balanced and sincere with their emotions, their affections, and with themselves. They learn how to be passionate, sincere and truly honest with themselves and others.”

and all of this is just SOME of the possibilities of what could happen in a homestuck heathers au. would they all be in the same session? would they all be trolls? would the heathers & veronica be in their own session and jd be in his own session that ends up intertwining together? theres literally SO MANY possibilities when it comes to homestuck aus and i love that shit. 

now that ive spent so much time speculating all this its time to deposit myself directly into the dumpster 

[hellomissmabel]

Vino o Gelato Epilogue

MASTERLIST

AO3 account

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: The reader grew up believing someone else was her father. Her real father had been sent away by his family. Pepper being a bitch.

Word count: 1.232

Summary: Y/N travels to Italy in search of her biological father. As she’s looking for a place to stay, she walks into the small artisanal gelateria where Steve works. He helps her get in touch with her father and introduces her to his friends. But is Y/N really ready to meet her father? Or is there another reason why she should stay in Italy?

A/N: Written for @yourtropegirl

Series masterlist can be found here

“You sure about this?,” your mother asks you softly as she smooths over the collar of your jacket. Bruce picks up your two suitcases and tells your mother it’s time to get moving to the counter for check-in.

“Yes, mom,” you assure her as you sling your backpack over your shoulder. “C’mon, they’ll start boarding soon and it takes a while until I’m at the gate.”

It’s been six months since you’ve last flown. After the heart-breaking confrontation with Pepper, you didn’t hesitate to book the first flight back to New York. At that point, you didn’t take into account the repercussions this would have for both Tony and Steve, something you regretted deeply afterwards.

Tony tried to change your mind, calling you up and begging you to come back to the villa. Pepper had left the house shortly after you’d run out and he hadn’t seen her since, expecting to receive the divorce papers soon.

Steve, on the other hand, respected your choice and after an hour of complete honesty about your feelings and where you wanted this relationship to go, he even helped you book the ticket. After spending the night together in intimacy, he drove you back to the airport in his navy blue cinque-cento. You left with the promise of Skyping him as soon as you got home.

It was difficult, maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship and of course there were a lot of bumps in the road. You often felt like a broken bottle of wine, until the next time he’d make an unexpected phone call and you’d feel as fresh as a scoop of artisanal gelato.

After checking in your luggage and scanning your boarding pass, you’re all set to go to the gates. “This is where I leave you,” you sigh sadly, hugging your mother tightly as Bruce presses a chaste kiss to your temple. “Promise me you’ll visit us in Italy. I really want you to meet Steve. And not just Steve, but also the rest of the expat squad, their surrogate mother May and of course my half-brother Peter.”

“Of course we’ll visit you, honey,” your mother replies with tears in her eyes. “Just as long as you promise to pay a visit to New York, too.” And with that final promise, you bid goodbye to your two loves ones as you’re on your way to two other loved ones.

The entire flight you’re a nervous wreck, going over the pics in your phone that Steve sent you shortly before departure. For example, there’s a photograph of the Vespa Tony bought you in anticipation of your arrival, one of the entire family of internationals at one of their Friday dinners, and the new double bed, closet and couch Steve got for the two of you since his room at May’s B&B is one of the largest and holds enough space for both of you. It’s not an ideal solution, but it’ll work for now while you’re scanning your surroundings for an apartment.

The very moment the plane’s wheels connect with the asphalt of the runway below, your entire body is on high alert. You’re one of the first passengers to get off and you sprint towards the baggage claim, retrieving your luggage as soon as you spot it. Fortunately for your tired feet, the airport is relatively small and you can easily find your way towards the main hall where you know Stevie will be waiting for you.

He’s holding up a sign that says “Gorgeous American girlfriend from New York”, putting it up high in the air so it’s the first thing your eyes notice after fighting your way through the thick crowd.

“Steve!,” you yell as you rush into his arms, leaving your bags unattended and collapsing onto the floor, all your attention drawn like a magnet towards him. Embracing your waist as tightly as possible, he lifts you up in the air and twirls you around as his pure voice filled with laughter and happiness resonates against the airport walls.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you murmur in between kisses as you pepper his face with affectionate little pecks. Steve puts you back down on both your feet and drops the sign so he can kiss you properly, connecting your lips in a tender, slow kiss.

A deep male voice coughs softly and reluctantly you break away for air. There’s your father, standing just a few inches away from you and Steve. “What about your old man, hm? Did you miss him, too?,” he chuckles as he opens his arms for you to fold into.

Releasing Steve from your doting kisses, you jump from one set of arms into another as you embrace your father lovingly. Nestling your head in the nape of Tony’s neck, you inhale deeply the familiar scent of smoky oak and fresh musk. Finally reunited.

With Tony’s arm slung over your shoulders and Steve holding your hand, you leave the airport and head straight for a new beginning. It’s take some time to adjust, but you’re confident in the choice you’ve made. It’s hard leaving your life as a New Yorker behind, but it’s not an impulsive choice.

Impulsivity came 6 months ago when you left Italy head over heels, not even allowing yourself some room to breathe and collect your thoughts after you’ve been blatantly accused by Pepper. Even though Tony offered to talk about it and work through their issues, even suggested couple therapy, him and his now ex-wife will never be able to be in the same room again. Fortunately, Tony has the vineyard to keep his mind off Pepper, and with you by his side he feels like he can conquer the world despite all the hardship he’s been through.

Steve and Tony are friends as well and recently he decided to involve Steve some more in the family business. He’s still got his job at the ice cream shop where it all started, and his job as a tour guide at the local tourist centre. But every now and then, especially during the harvest, he helps out at the vineyard. Just like you had planned, you moved in with Steve as soon as you set foot on Italian soil, although it was much to Tony’s disappointment who had hoped you’d stay with him at the villa.

Nevertheless, Tony finds a lot of support in his son, Peter, and you and Peter are as thick as thieves now. They both regularly pop by at the B&B to say hi to May, something Tony never did because he respected Pepper’s wishes to not involve May in their marriage. But now Pepper’s out of the picture, Tony has realised that those old feelings he once harboured for May, hadn’t really disappeared after all. They continue to enjoy joint custody of their son and maybe, in the near future, they’ll find their way back to one another.

Now you’re working together with Bucky and Tony at the vineyard, making a name for yourself while simultaneously strengthening your relationship with your father and half-brother. Business is going very well and this presents you with the opportunity to discover the world as you attend and compete at various tasting competitions. You’re finally able to live the life you actually enjoy living, and at the end of the day, Steve will always be waiting for you at home.

Tagging: @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @marvelingatthewonder @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @italwaysendsinafightt @viollettes @hymnofthevalkyrie @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @austinamelio @volklana @4theluvofall @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @caplansteverogers @amrita31199 @emilyevanston @minervaem @howlingbarnes @buchananbarnestrash @youandb @you-and-bucky @fvckingsteverogers @thatawkwardtinyperson @barnes-heaven @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @mellifluous-melodramas @its-not-a-phase-hux @melconnor2007 @ivvitm1109 @toofuckinfabulous @ailynalonso15 @hollycornish @delicatecapnerd @camigt1999 @learisa @curlyexpat @palaiasaurus64 @fanndas-snow-goddess @crisssivonne @yourenotrogers @tomhollandzs @supernaturaldean65 @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @aletheladyinred @beyondbarnes @xbergiex @reniescarlett @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @lovemarvelousfics @yknott81 @rrwilson66 @pegasusdragontiger @salty-holographic-stickers @sammyissassy @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @kudosia @bellejeunefillesansmerci @lumelgy @mizzzpink @southernbellestatues @daringtodreamawake @neurotic-narwhal @cokamarie24 @blue1928 @movingonto-betterthings @breezy1415 @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @jesspfly @weenie-butt @debzybrazy @fuckingchaotic  @always-an-evans-addict @petersunderroos  @thegreentgirl @nedthegay

Series tag list: @incoherent-smiles @phiauniverse @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mo320 @suz-123 @wildestdreamsrps @lexicon411 @katemcgraw @youpocketwitch @3dsaunt @void-imaginations @mylittlefandomfanfictions @anotherotter @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @redroomproperty @mirachowder

Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you!

[earthling-liya-blog]

little things we can do for the environment

a/n ok before anything GURL there are a lot of links tagged bc i didn’t rly expect this to be a long post and some will be further explained in a separate post ! maglilink naman aq pag nagawa na may edit button naman HAHAHAHA but ya this is a bit taglish but mostly english kase conyo tayo chz but yaaaaa

i would say disregard any grammatical errors or flaws but i like comments and criticisms. this isnt formal writing at all kase this was rushed kase naexcite ako,,,,, ayun ok i shld stop talking leTS GET DIS BREAD

nowadays, a lot of people have been inventing machines that help in saving the planet but the easiest and most simple thing that have a huge impact on our environment is following the 3R’s.

 REDUCE

here is a list of things on what you should reduce

1.      single-use plastic consumption

this is the most obvious material we should refrain from buying. i know it’s tempting but don’t buy that candy, or that water bottle. as they say:

 if you don’t buy crap from companies they’ll stop making crap.

 think about it, that candy you’ll buy comes with a plastic food packaging. that plastic’s purpose is to cover the candy from anything that can contaminate it, but once the candy is opened he plastic no longer has purpose and will be thrown away on the trash can. that piece of plastic was used once but will LAST FOR DECADES, and in those decades the plastic will go through a lot of.. things. y’know like…

other than plastic interrupting the food chain, we can literally kill all animals with the plastic bags choking them or filling up their stomachs with plastic. we’ve all seen the turtle with a straw stuck inside its nose.

truly heartbreaking. this video started a petition to ban straws, but please STRAWS ARE NOT THE ONLY PLASTIC PRODUCT HARMING MARINE LIFE.

 here are videos that prove so:

Plastic Ocean | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju_2NuK5O-E

Plastic is killing marine wildlife | #OceanRescue | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhksqkC6WV0

See How It Feels to Be an Ocean Animal Stuck in a Plastic Bag | National Geographic |  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaDx-WJAsaE

 now you can say “I don’t litter so how am I harming these animals? I throw my trash properly.” but no, buying from companies that produce plastic makes YOU part of the problem. 

the plastic you throw away “properly” adds into the landfill. as i’ve mentioned before, plastic lasts for decades. if we don’t reduce our plastic consumption, we will soon have a mountain of plastics. less plastic u buy, less plastic is produced.

 next time you buy from the mall, don’t tempt yourself from buying beverages and/or foods that come with plastic food packaging. if possible, bring your own food containers and a reusable tote bag or don’t buy at all. quit saying “it’s just one time” a lot of people say that everyday and see what problem we’re facing now? overproduction and overconsumption of plastic asshole. say no to single-use plastic !

2.      printing

this one’s new to me and im sure most of you are as shocked as i am. i always thought it was only because we were wasting so much paper by printing documents and other things that don’t really mean anything (tama na pagprint ng pix ng kras niyo mga burnok), but we keep buying cartridges.

here’s a tip: use recycled paper and reuse toner cartridges. I got that here https://www.colorado.edu/ecenter/zero-waste/reduce/paper-and-printer-waste. it says here that it costs wayyy less money cause duh reusing and reducing??? lam mo na yan mag-isip ka chz

 3.      electronics/appliances anything that consumes electricity

this one. this is something that’s hard for many of us to reduce and i admit im one of those who have a hard time letting go of their phone and uses the light the whole night.

 PHONE: for iphone users like me (weird flex but ok), apple produces a new model every now and then and it makes a lot of apple users buy the newest model. don’t be like them no matter how much money u have that u want to flex (money cant help you survive when earth is dying sis) also, iphones don’t really last a looong time for many users since it’s kinda breakable and well it slows down after a while lmao

my tip is buy what you think will last for a long time (coming from me eh) for you and if you want, try buying secondhand phones. for phones you broke that you piled up in a box (yep i do that), you can replace some parts of it that broke it or give it to recycling centers. According to the University of Colorado Boulder, phones have metals that can still be “reused and salvaged such as aluminum, gold, silver, copper and iron.” NEVER THROW AWAY PHONES OR ANYTHING ALIKE ! “The circuit boards contain arsenic, lead, mercury, and other toxins. The batteries contain heavy metals that are lethal to the land. Many of the chemicals in cell phones have the potential to be released into the air when burned and can create air pollution.” (Second Wave Recycling, 2013) This means that the phone you’ll throw away will intoxicate the landfill. just think about insects flying around and possibly animals eating garbage 

4.      water

do i even have to explain myself? hm maybe.

shower with a partner shower together

jk but seriously, save water. take shorter showers and please refrain from using the heater. here’s an article to further elaborate https://slate.com/technology/2009/10/exactly-how-bad-should-i-feel-about-taking-hot-showers.html

5.      fast fashion

oh you have no idea how much shopping can affect the environment. i didn’t know before either. but not only is the environment affected but also who work for companies that sell fast fashion.

a.      people have been treating clothes as disposables. clothes that don’t fit the trend nowadays either get thrown away or just stay in the corner of a cabinet.

b.      theyre cheap. and by cheap, i mean CHEAP. most of fast fashion clothing don’t last long that they end up in the landfill. even if you donate/sell it, chances are they’ll be rejected due to poor quality.

c.      “. . most garments (especially fast fashion ones) are made with inexpensive, petroleum-based fibers that don’t easily decompose (such as polyester, nylon, and acrylic), they’re going to be taking up landfill space for decades to come.” (Wood, K.) As Cline points out;

“people generally recycle plastic bottles or avoid buying them in the first place, but people are pretty okay with buying lots of plastic clothing”

next time you think of buying from forever 21 or zara, think about it. they are simply made NOT to last. think about the exploited workers, the products you could’ve gotten for a cheaper price if they were made locally, and the effect on the environment. do you really want to support companies that only gives a fuck about their sales?

read more in these articles: 8 Reasons to Rethink Fast Fashion| https://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/8-reasons-rethink-fast-fashion.html

Fast Fashion Is the Second Dirtiest Industry in the World, Next to Big Oil | https://www.ecowatch.com/fast-fashion-is-the-second-dirtiest-industry-in-the-world-next-to-big--1882083445.html

6.      meat and dairy

as a meat-lover myself, this was the hardest thing to do. im basically a carnivore since i hate veggies but i do eat a lotta ass fruits so no need to judge sis. but yeah this is so important yet so hard.

if you can, only buy products that are vegan. it doesn’t necessarily have to be food if it’s too difficult for you to let go. you can also have a #meatlessmonday or not eat meat 1-2 days a week.

this post is long enough so here’s an article to help u: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/may/31/avoiding-meat-and-dairy-is-single-biggest-way-to-reduce-your-impact-on-earth

7.      waste

all in all, reduce waste. avoid throwing away literally anything. aim for a zero waste lifestyle and i can give tips in my next post on how you can reduce waste.

 REUSE

this is soooo hard to do. trust me, i would know BUT it is doable by an average person so shut the f*ck up and use that ugly reusable water bottle your aunt gave you. i don’t care how rich you are and how you can afford a lot more, but what does it matter if they wont be used much and be thrown away when it gets old?

avoid throwing things away and think about how it can still be useful to you or someone else. not everything useless to you is useless to everyone. let someone else find purpose for it or repurpose it yourself.

donate, not discard. choose reusable, not disposable.

  RECYLE

1.      plastic

this is the most important thing we have to do now especially with plastic. now note that not all plastic can be recycled. it’s important to know what type of plastic can be recycled and what shouldn’t

 so as it states, 1&2 are recyclable which is what you would see on a water bottle. it means you should throw your plastic bottles in the recycling bin. here are things you should avoid and things you should recycle

BUT OK BEFORE YOU DO THROW THAT BOTTLE IN THE RECYCLING BIN JUST A QUICK NOTE

PLEASE REMOVE THE PLASTIC LABEL AND DO A QUICK RINSE ON THE BOTTLE! IT LITERALLY TAKES A FEW SECONDS OF YOUR TIME.

bottles that still have the label on are considered trash and are thrown away instead of being recycled. if u ask “why don’t they just take off the label? it takes a few seconds as u said” well dipshit they have more bottles to worry about so if i were you i wouldn’t be lazy piece of shit and take off the label.

bottles that contained sugar drinks should have a quick rinse & make sure there is no left over ! not rinsed = trash. do i have to go scientific and geeky as to why they should be rinsed? i think not lmao

for the plastic i find that can no longer be recycled (ex. shopping bags, food packaging, small pieces of plastic i see lying on the ground), i put them in an ecobrick which i will explain in my next post.

2.      paper

paper can also be recycled. collect all those newspapers, cardboard, cereal boxes, failed quiz papers, rejected thesis papers and notes from your ex-boyfriend. all of them. don’t throw them away, or worse burn them. papers can still be given another chance at life by being remade. all of the papers should not be mixed with any plastic or wax coating.

TRIVIA: Recycling one ton of old paper saves 17 trees; 2 barrels of oil (enough to run an average car for 1,260 miles); 4,100 kilowatts of energy (enough power for the average home for 6 months); 3.2 cubic yards of landfill space; 7,000 gallons of wate; and 60 pounds of air pollution. 

 3.      glass materials

products that are packed in glass glass jars and bottles like RC or your local nata de coco jar are recyclable as well although i’d prefer to reuse them.  

TRIVIA: Recycling one glass bottle saves enough electricity to light a 60-watt bulb for four hours. 

4. books

no. i don’t mean sell it to the junkshop but if u want to, go for it. although there are a lot of people who’d rather secondhand books than new ones so sell/donate your old books to those in need !

5. clothes

i’ve mentioned this before already but i’ll say it again. buy secondhand clothes. theyre not gross and you wont look like those typical katip pipol that all wear the same shoes and/or polo shirts charet. you’ll even help save the planet.

  *note: it is still better to reduce than recycle so still avoid buying plastic and lessen use of paper. but, you do gain money from selling paper and plastic so start collecting your friends’ and family’s junk.

by doing the 3R’s, you can save energy and natural resources and help prevent environmental issues coming from the landfill and pollution. not only are you helping save the environment but you’re also saving money by reducing your purchase, reusing what you already have and promoting recycling.

a/n ulet this is my first post and i’ll be sure to post more tips and help raise awareness. my writing may have flaws and i accept any criticisms to improve ! help me be better and to save the environment:)

 check out another article related to this one:

http://www.irondequoit.org/community/green-initatives/16-community/125-why-should-i-reduce-reuse-or-recycle

[wazm]

kinda lost blog

I just wish to feel genuine joy in my life. I'm so afraid of chasing my goals cos what if I get to where I need to be and it's not exactly what I want. nevermind trying to reach for my goals cos I've been doing that..working every day..trying to bring myself closer to my goals but fail...struggling to sit down and just write music...i can't get myself to do it... I can't get myself to create anything.. I procrastinate the things I'm supposed to do with irrelevant big tasks..trying to distract myself constantly... I just feel empty inside...

what makes my hallow chest even deeper is the fact that all my relationships remind me of the bad decisions I've made..and theyre, not even bad decisions..its just meh...average..nothing worthwhile noting really..combined with abunch of negative outcomes...like he fact that i know a shit ton of people but i have zero real friends...i once had a friend who knew me for more than 7 years but he never exactly knew his boundaries...he’d show up to my house unannounced...id never get space...but at least i still had a friend..id do countless favors for him and never ask him anything in return but giving me space...one time i tried distancing myself from him and when i started to notice, he got so offended...after this happened, we never spoke to months...probs the longest time apart since we’ve been friends...then we kinda rekindled things...and he decided to plan a guys trip to bring us closer together...trip was okay...but ended really bad...he blocked me off everything..games, facebook, whatsapp...everything...he lives up the road from me...but ive never seen him since....idk if its a blessing or a curse...i hope things are okay with him...he wasnt the smartest but he was smart enough to comprehend certain sitautions ive been going through...good enough for me to vent to and console me...thats kinda all i need sometimes...but no more of that...he was kinda my bridge to a group of other friends we had...and after the boys trip it was like i lost everyone..social life took a hard knock...im sorry..just wish you trusted me more...

i tried filling the void by making my gf do things i did with my friends...never went down well...she just seems like someone who never knows how to have fun anymore..we used to have interesting chats..i was so inlove with her, I never saw her flaws...and she taught me this word “resentment”...well its not tht i never saw her flaws...i just chose to ignore them..and told myself that things will get better, and she’ll grow..and change...but i feel like shes been making me more like her since we’ve been dating...i swear i did so much things before her...but we’ve been together so long, i dont even know who that person is anymore...i bet, even if i left her, i wouldnt be able to bounce back...and the odd thing is that, when we started dating almost 5 years ago, i made it our philosphy that we are individuals in a relationship, we are not the relationship but it seems like she wasnt even herself back then and started being me...and now its like, shes nothing without me and my whole life has grown so much onto her, i kinda feel the same in return...just less attached to her since i felt like i was feeding her nucleas...might be exaggerating but homegirl cant initiate anything without me. nevermind choosing a meal when we go out, she cant even make a plan without needing 90% input from my side...and thats how most things are between us...if shes upset, ill fix it...risk my life and beyond to fix it...physically have done this many times before...walked from my house to hers at 2am in the morning, through the ghettos, more than a kilometer away..even been gun pointed and got things stolen from me, just to make her feel better when she was upset in the middle of the night...im not expecting that in return but she lits does the bare minimum in return...id be sad, then she be like...awww...im sad you’re sad...done..thats it...she’d lits be like...what can i do to fix things....again wanting my input...i might as well be dating myself...idk why im with this girl anymore...i hurt inside everytime i tell her i love her...cos i just dont anymore...and its been like this for a while...i wish she found this post and decided to leave me..cos i cant leave her...ive broken her heart so many times and told her i wanted to leave but i just end up coming back to her cos im sucha fucking pussy seeking some sort of social acceptence or friendship and i feel like shes all i have rn...not much of a gf hey...but its not like im worth anything either...idk...im so paranoid shes cheated on me in the past cos shes lied to me in the past and told me 3 years later about those lies...you know when someone lies to you and then when you find out about the lies and you ask why’d you do it and shes like...idk...i just feel like its lies ontop of lies...really cant trust her....i wish i had it in me to cheat on her...but i just dont like most females...id be infatuated with someone but would be put off so easily by the slightest thign...things would make so much sense if i was secretly gay but im not...the longer i seem to be in this place, the deeper im digging my grave...i feel like the time with my almost 5 year relationship feels like its getting harder to leave the longer i stay in it....i really dont know what to do...but i feel like i fuck up most of my relationships...not just my romantic one...

my relationship with my parents are just a nightmare...same goes for my other family members...and you know what...i do so much for people...countless favors...countless volunteer jobs...extra miles for people who wont even move an inch for me...but just let me mention this to anyone, then im in the wrong...i just feel like i cant voice any shortcomings to anyone and im made out to be the bad guy for doing this....whether its my parents or my sisters...id do everything for them, and i do everything for them, even things they dont ask me for...but let me raise an opinion that doesnt resonate with them, and it turns into an argument and if i decide to step out before things get sour, im still made out to be the bad guy cos how dare i do something so rude....i just feel like no1 wants to listen to me at all...for my last birthday i tried staying away from my family and decided to work on a few movies with my friends and i had fun, we arent the closes friends but, campus friends...theyre actually in a whole other faculty..so we just barely know eachother but we’ve worked on movies before and thats kinda our history together as friends....so its my birthday and i agreed to work with them on this day...all day..from like 7am until almost 10pm..and my family, not communicating with me, decides to go out for supper for my birthday...and just expects me to leave this project im working on for them...so they invite people to join them for this birthday supper...without having me there...anyways after i finished my day shooting, i was pretty smug about working instead of spending the day with my family...and on the last few moments of my birthday my sister makes a shitty comment, wanting me to shut the fuck up cos she doesnt have the energy to listen to my voice..it really broken my heart, how my whole birthday was spoilt in moments....wish she couldve just waited a tiny bit longer...i wouldve been happy with that..but naa...no1 wants to listen to anything i have to say, let alone have me around in their presence....i just feel like starting a new life somewhere else...and thats kinda what i had planned...

really thought i was going to leave south africa and immigrate to australia to go sound study there...filled in all the paper work...spoke back-and-forth with the uni over there and they extended the communication so long, i thought things were set...seemed like i was so close to getting the big change ive been seeking for so long...but they sent me this stinky ‘ol email with extra modules id have to do and the tuition fees went from $11,000 to $35,000 which is ridiculous as my countries currency isnt australian dollars and is 10 units weaker than theirs...never in my life have i ever felt like money defined my life...lits had my life in limbo cos i was waiting for responses from this people...and when i finally got a response it was too late to apply at the local college...idk what im doing this year...i tried looking for work online, but no response...made ads for work on fiverr...tried upwork, tried quickengig...even rev...all these sites people advertise as quick ways to make money....a bunch of lies...i made $0, 3 weeks going now. nothing. i even invested in making a business logo, wrote descriptions...adjusted my ads multiple times...still...blue ticks from the online work field...i applied for jobs ive seen on indeed and on gumtree and jobfinder....but no response...nothing...blue ticked...ima say luckily im working part-time for this events company and its kinda an opportunity to network with the sound industry but the live sound industry is filled with racist pricks who patronize you when you’ve done the time to learn the work they know...so no work online freelancing, no work applying for work..no work physically meeting people...really makes me feel like this isnt a viable option for me...cant even study locally or internationally anymore...

im just so lost...alone..hurt..wish someone would save me the way ive saved others before..

[masiayu]

Same Frequency

Dear my diary…so long not write things here, as u know i was busy with my life…working hard actually isnt my hobby or my passion, but at least with working hard, i can forget my sorrows…i dont say that sorrows are following me everywhere and everytime, but anytime i have such sorrow stuff i will forget it fastly…gloomy and sad r not important stuff…

Right now i really wanna write something here, its not coz im not busy, or tired..i am so tired right now…im just wanna info u that i already met someone which is close with my type which was often i mentioned here…good muslim, humble, good heart, smart, humorist etc…i met him…that means that kind of man is exist in this world, iam actually skeptic about it before…men i knew they r most r bastard…oops sorry to say…haha if u r a man, plz dont take it in ur heart…😄

I’ve just read something…its about same frequency of human…here is what i read.. Do you ever wonder why you can feel emotionally close toward a certain person and not another? Even in a large extended family you may only feel a closeness to certain people and not to others in the same family. Think back when you were a child or a young adult and you loved someone deeply and then become separated by distance and many years, yet you’ll often feel that same connectedness to him or her after much time has passed and be able to reconnect again quite easily. How is that so? We humans exist in a state of vibrational frequency unique to each person. We have the sensory skills to feel the vibrations of others, positive and negative. Almost everyone has had the experience of being in the same room with someone who is full of depressed thoughts or angry hidden emotions. The atmosphere emits a negative energy field that can be felt by anyone entering the room.

People who emit a similar frequency are attracted to each other and a friendship can easily be formed. You cannot resonate with someone else who has a fundamentally incompatible vibrational frequency. Dr. Emoto, a Japanese researcher and author of “The Hidden Messages From Water” says that “when two people resonate and fall in love, they rise to their highest level of capability. If a person with a capability of 10 who has only been using 5 parts of that capacity falls in love with someone with a level of 12, then he or she will naturally make use of the level -10 capability and show an increase in frequency. Love has the effect of raising our frequency level and making us shine.“ 

When we think about what makes up our bodies, we know we are formed of atoms, nothing more. The magic is what is inside of each atom. The center is a nucleus with electrons rotating about at different numbers and shapes, creating a unique and particular set of vibrational frequencies. Within each atom is 99.9999% space. Whether we are talking about a human body, any type of life, or any object in existence, this is true. We only perceive these things to be solid mass, when we are all actually sort of a vibrating, rotating wave. Not solid at all! 

Organic matter that forms human beings generates a frequency that can be represented by sound at approximately 42 octaves above middle C (the note near the center of a piano keyboard) as reported by Warren Hamerman in the scientific journal 21st Century Science and Technology's March 1989 issue. The middle C frequency is approximately 262 Hz. Forty-two octaves higher has a sound frequency of 570 trillion Hz. Since Hz means vibrations per second, this means human beings vibrate 570 trillion times a second!

Humans have the capacity to resonate with all other creatures and objects found in nature. We hold a universe within us filled with frequencies of a cosmic proportion. 

So what is it about love that causes us to raise our frequency level? The great spiritual people said to have a very high frequency level. When we experience or know this love, we come to acknowledge our sacred universe, recognizing our oneness of everything that exists, within us and outside of us. We find our own “I Am”-ness, we are then aligned with the universal love that transcends all things, all life, and manifests itself in us and in everything.

I’ve just came to know those stuff today, what a wonderful our Creator Allah SWT, all of that so perfect creation, even the sytem really amazing to know…it always add my Iman when im learning it…,hey what is the relation between my story and this knowledge? Hmmm u know it makes me understand that everything r organized well by Allah, and i just believe and sure that my soulmate will come closer…the one who has same frequency with me will come like magnet automatically, what i was surprised its reasonable stuff and logic…wow it always amaze me when i imagine it… MasyaAllah..Subhanallah…Allahuakbar…😍😍😍

And one more thing..i will never worry about everything in this world, actually i’ve already known well about this, everything which is written at Lauhul Mahfuz will work automacally, i suppose not worry about my destiny, it should be the best stuff for me…and as i know that my Rizky will not be taken by others, coz that i won’t be worry… I know my work will not be done by others, that’s why I’m busy doing good deeds. I know that Allah is always watching me, that’s why I’m embarrassed if He saw me in the vice. And I knew that death was waiting for me, that’s why I always add a provision to the encounter with Allah. “

Wish everything is gonna be alright…Aamiin