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#so why not show my other side off a bit more
ilovescarymen · 1 day
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talk to me: Spencer Reid
You’d never been one for vulnerability. It probably had something to do with how you grew up, an emotionally unavailable mother and a mentally absent father- you were always berated when you cried or showed you were upset so as you got older , you stopped.
You had a boyfriend who made you think you could be soft and vulnerable infront of him but, he ended up using it against you in an argument, after that you swore to never be vulnerable again.
You became a blank canvas that was impossible to read, a smile always plastered on your face, a fake bubbly personality to cover the pain beneath the surface. You’d only cry in the comfort of a bathroom or your home and then smile around others. It always worked. No one ever questioned it, untill now.
Your boyfriend, Spencer Reid is a profiler for the fbi’s behavioral analysis unit. He study’s human behavior for a living, which means he sees right through your little facade.
He never addressed it because he thought that maybe vulnerability would come with time. Maybe you’d stop crying in the bathroom or the shower and instead cry in his arms.
But when he arrives home from a case and you’re not at the door , bouncing around and ecstatic to see him he knows something’s up, he peeks around the corner to your bedroom and sees his sweet girl, crying and hiccuping.
You notice him and quickly wipe your tears , perking up, your stand up off the bed and run to your boyfriend’s arms.
“Hi Spence! Sorry I’m running a bit late on dinner! I’ll go get it started!” You quickly spew out, as you make an attempt to walk away your pulled back by your boyfriend, he gently places his hands on the side of your face and scans your face, before making eye contact with you.
“Honey, slow down, what’s wrong?” He asks genuine concern in his voice
“Nothing! Why would something be wrong Spence?” You put a smile on your face and look up at your boyfriend, his eyebrows are furrowed together and a frown is all over his face.
“Sweetheart, you do know that I study human behavior every day right? I know you’re lying to me, please just talk to me baby. I love you and I care and I want you to feel better”
You shake your head “nothings wrong I’m okay” you release yourself from his grasp and slip past him to the kitchen, you open the fridge and scan it “I have pasta sauce! I can make you-“ you let out a squeak as Spencer picks you up and carries you over to the couch, he sits you in his lap facing him and holds you in place.
“I have let you do this long enough. I let you isolate yourself and pretend you’re okay when you’re not but no more. I want you to come to me, I want to cheer you up honey, I will never judge you, you know that right? I’ll never make you feel stupid for feeling your feelings. I love you I want you to talk to me”
Your lip starts to tremble and tears start falling down your face “she’s- she’s so mean Spence” you hiccup, he pulls you to his chest and hugs you, his arms wrapping around your waist
“Who is? Honey who’s mean?”
“My mother” you sob out, Spencer doesn’t know the horrors of your childhood. All he knows is you grew up in Texas and you left because you wanted a change in scenery, what he doesn’t know is that you actually left for your own safety. Your mother had lost it and you left to avoid another one of her beatings.
“Oh honey” he coos, he kisses the side of your head and rubs your back gently, whispering little “it’s okay”’s and “let it all out”’s in your ear. When your crying calmed down you sat up, looking Spencer in his eyes.
“M’ sorry, I know you got home from a case and this is probably the last thing you wanted to deal with” you breath out as you wipe your eyes
“Hey hey, Nuh uh. Don’t ever apologize for feeling your feelings, I’m more than happy to do this. To be here for you always. I love you, sweetheart “
“I love you too Spence “
“Now, tell me why we hate your mother”
And you did, you told him everything, and when tears fell Spence gently caressed your back and listened intently, showing you that it was okay.
This is what love is.
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kiame-sama · 2 days
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Do you think we can get a pt 3 to the yandere Lilia fic? I need to see how Lilia shows Reader that he's not a child at all 🥵🔥😈. Lilia, in my opinion, is one of those yanderes with breeding and babytrapping kink. He probably wants Silver to have lots of little siblings 🥰💖.
Many hugs from Argentina 🥰🤗💖
What Are You, Twelve? (Yandere!Lilia x Reader) Pt 3
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Warnings: yandere, yandere behavior, yandere temper, Lilia's yandere side gets set loose for a little bit, Lilia snaps a little, vague self-depreciating behavior/talk, real talk from reader to Lilia, Crowley is uncomfortable, Silver is uncomfortable, gender neutral reader, implied adult scenarios,
~~~~~~~~
You sat in the Headmage's office with Lilia as he had dragged you to the less than pleased Headmage and demanded the man vouch for him. Lilia had gotten more than a little persistent in his attempts to make you acknowledge his age as anything above twelve. From making other students and even teachers talk about his age, to being a bit more adult in his behavior, Lilia has tried tirelessly to convince you.
Little did Lilia know, you were actually starting to believe him. Ever since you saw the photo album with Silver, you had actually begun to believe Lilia was older than he looked, but you were hoping that continued feigned ignorance would eventually make him give up.
It was one thing when you thought Lilia was a child saying all of these salacious things to you, it is another entirely to know Lilia was centuries old and still doing this. Even as the Headmage vouched for Lilia's age over a cup of tea with the two of you, you still wanted to deny accepting his age. In the time between Lilia's attempts to win you over, you had done some digging into Lilia's past and found yourself feeling rather bland when compared to the Fae.
Why would someone like him be so determined to chase someone like you?
"I don't know... This all seems like a big joke to me still."
"How? After all of this, how? Tell me, (Y/n). You are not a dumb child of man by any means, I know that much. How can you not believe even after all of this?"
His tone was almost pained and you actually felt compelled to be honest with him despite how upset it may make him. He had been trying very hard to get you to see him as more than a child and in some regards you felt badly for making him so distraught and stressed. Granted, he was being quite obsessive and inappropriate with his conversations towards you, but this charade has gone on long enough.
"Truthfully, Lilia," you crossed your legs, trying to hold the Fae's gaze, "the simple power of willful ignorance. I figured you were being serious after Silver embarrassed himself with that photo album. He is a little lost most days, but he is no liar, even at your behest."
"So you were just teasing me this whole time. I can forgive playful or coy behavior, but this?"
"Not the whole time, no. I genuinely thought you were a child up until Silver showed me the photo album. After Silver talked to me, I decided to do some research... into you. Lilia, you do see it, don't you? I'm... not enough for you, and I likely never will be. I'm human and magicless. You're... You. Malleus showed me that you're even in our history books, for goodness sakes. I can't be any more Fae than you can be Human, so-"
The sudden sound of porcelain crunching cut you off in a sharp and jarring way, hearing the pieces crinkling to the floor in the silence that followed. You were stunned as you stared at Lilia's hand, the blood slowly dripping down from where he crushed the cup of tea he had been drinking. Even the Headmage didn't know how to react to the sudden and uncharacteristic behavior.
Lilia was silent for a long moment before he spoke and his voice chilled your very blood. Typically the cherub-faced Fae was excitable and had a certain bounce to his tone and step, almost playing up the child-like features of his. All of that life and tone was gone from his voice and it left a near monotone voice that held all too much venom for how little rage it carried.
"Say another word, and I will come completely unhinged, (Y/n). You have done plenty of talking thus far, now it is time for you to listen." He stood from his chair and began walking towards you, that same look on his face that spoke of horrors beyond his years, "I pride myself in being slow to anger and being quite the trickster in my own right. Startling people is a hobby of mine as is playing the cute school-boy persona as much as I can, but I am a father and have seen many human lifetimes."
Lilia stood in front of you now, making you suddenly feel so very small before the odd being. It really hadn't occurred to you before that moment what others meant when they said Lilia could be intimidating or even downright frightening when he wanted to be. It somewhat made you feel like you were being scolded by a figure of authority, bringing you to lower your head and refuse to meet the gaze of the suddenly intense Fae. He didn't like this and used one hand to tilt your head back so you could stare at him with wide eyes.
"You are one of the brightest and most fascinating humans I have had the pleasure of encountering in over three centuries. And here I have to listen to you talk about yourself as if you are just another face of the ever changing tapesty that makes up this school. Do you not see the things you do? The way you change the very atmosphere of a room with your presence. The way you befriend even the most enigmatic and temperamental of the student body..."
As he trailed off he seemed to become distracted with the way he held your chin, the slightest bit of warmth returning to his expression before it was gone again in an instant. When you thought he was a child it had been easy to talk to and face Lilia, despite his constant attempts at flirting he had still been a positive influence in your day. Now you wondered how you could really have been so naïve to think the wizened being before you was anything less than a centuries old enigma. He had been playing the sweet and bubbly school-boy adeptly and it fooled you all too well.
"So very frustrating to hear you've been playing coy, but- fortunately for you- it hasn't been too long of a game and I can't fault anyone for being less than forthcoming about themselves. I don't find myself chasing the children of men often, (Y/n). It is uncommon, but do you truly think that we Fae haven't figured out a way to lengthen the human life-span for those we have decided to keep? It is an unnatural life as humans aren't typically meant to live that long, but we still can do it."
You were unable to say much of anything to the Fae, feeling vaguely disturbed by the warm and slightly sticky feeling of his blood on his hand. He was not as bothered by it as you were and almost seemed to have forgotten that he has injured himself. The main thing other than intimidation that kept you quiet was the fact the usually affable Headmage had yet to say anything either. Crowley was usually the one to count on for a break in tenson but he didn't seem keen to interrupt the Diasomnia Vice-housewarden.
You couldn't blame him.
"You have no idea the things you do, but I can and will teach you if I must. Regardless, I've been quite patient and now I find myself wanting more than a bit of compensation for the emotional turmoil you've put me through. So, agree to go on a date with me and I will forgive the sleight against me and continue fostering my boundless patience with you."
A moment of silence passed and it was clear Lilia was waiting for you to say something. He seemed more than content staring at you expectantly for you to speak. The only indication of his waning patience was the way his hand moved from your chin to your neck.
"... Your hand is still bleeding."
This seemed to throw the Fae off for a moment as a kind of awareness returned to him, taking note of his injured hand on your throat. A moment of silence passed again as Lilia felt your racing heartbeat under his fingers, your pulse betraying your fear. He withdrew from you rather quickly upon feeling the physical evidence of your fear.
"To think I'm this worked up over something ultimately so trivial. You are such a unique child of man, (Y/n). You can get even my old heart stirring for the first time in a long time."
It was around this point Crowley finally spoke up, his voice pitched up ever so slightly which betrayed how uncomfortable he was in the situation. The other Fae had not expected Lilia of all students to become so enraged at your refusal. It only unsettled him further to witness the clear threat Lilia had made by putting his hand on your throat when you didn't respond to him the way he wanted.
"Well, now that is dealt with, is there any reason to continue this conversation in my office?"
"... No. No, there isn't. Is there? Not unless (Y/n) feels like trying to continue this charade."
You shook your head, trying to keep the surprisingly intimidating Fae calm. Now he knew you had been refusing him based on your own feelings of inadequacy, he could work on making you fall for him. The question was if he wanted to do this with the use of a spell, a love potion, or simply winning you over with his own charms.
~•§•~
"... Father, why is (Y/n) sleeping in your bed?"
"Because, Silver, your papa has finally managed to get what he wants from life."
"Please tell me you aren't talking about making them sit on your face?"
"Well, if you must know-"
"Nope. I don't need or want to know, actually. Forgive me for asking."
"... How do you feel about gaining a few siblings, Silver?"
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fxirybun · 2 days
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🥂 PAC: what is your FS currently doing at the moment ?
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FS stands for "future spouse" , the person you're going to marry and create a life together. let's see as to what they're up to at this time !
this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ー̀֊ー́ )
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ෆ⸒⸒ pile one
your future spouse is either physically or metaphorically on a journey at the moment. they may be traveling , relocating , or experiencing a transition in their life. i feel that they're currently desiring some kind of movement and how they don't want to be stuck or stay in just one place. they may also want to explore different places that they have never visited before. i'm sensing that your future spouse received some kind of letter ? perhaps a news that allows them to pursue their dreams or to leave this stagnant situation that they're facing.
this opportunity could make a significant impact on their current path. "finally" is what i'm hearing from them. i can see that your future spouse would grab this opportunity and act upon it swiftly. it's like they've been waiting for this moment to happen. there's something about an event that can give this person a sudden boost of energy within them.
i'm getting that this message came from a faraway distance ? an example would be living in a province and you receive an invitation from a city. there may be a person who lives on a different side of a country who's also close to your future spouse who decided to message them. i'm getting multiple messages. "wanna grab something for a drink ?" "there's a party over here" "you should come over".
i sensed that at first , your future spouse seemed to be thrilled to hear this exciting message yet, i'm feeling some kind of confusion coming from them. "this is new to me , i do not know this place". there's something about the location that makes them feel uncertain whether they would want to join or not. i'm also getting as to how they're wary about the people and the surrounding environment.
perhaps the kind of people who are in this place are all so "new" to them , similar to a culture shock moment. i'm receiving a scene from my head wherein the people wear very revealing clothes and how your future spouse feels a bit out of place. "blind date" it's possible that their friend is secretly setting your future spouse up with someone , not letting your future spouse know about their hidden motives.
this person could be a female or someone who has feminine qualities within them. though the "female" is more prominent in this reading. their energy leans more on the sensual side , very passionate and alluring. this person may have soft and delicate features. even so , your future spouse feels skeptical about this female figure once they meet them in person. they feel that this woman is hiding something from them or that they do not know this person at all.
after a while , your future spouse may want to know the truth from their friend as to why they're being set up with someone. they just want to have some fun and peace in their lives and not get caught up or involved with someone in a romantic setting lmao. “i thought this was supposed to be a party ? not a blind date" is what i'm getting from their energy. eventually , your future spouse would brush it off and enjoy the event throughout the night.
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ෆ⸒⸒ pile two
your future spouse is currently dealing with heavy burdens in their life at the moment. there seems to be a challenging situation in their partake and how they have the urge to weigh down their responsibilities. i sensed that they were worrying about what the others may say about them ? 'cause i'm getting the word "discussion" + the show "gossip girl" and how prominent it was in this reading. perhaps your future spouse is in a stressful conversation and how it makes them feel anxious.
oohh i'm getting something about "leaked information" ? this is some high school-level drama 😭 it's like someone found out some info about your future spouse and they decided to spread it publicly , possibly being blackmailed or some sort. because of it everyone who is in the same environment as your future spouse is chattering about the so-called rumor.
gurl wait a min-- it's definitely a false rumor because whatever this information was is so far-fetched as to what that leaker may thought of. surprisingly enough it seems that your future spouse was waiting for their medical / lab results ? something that's related to health and how they've been focusing on their well-being these days yet it was misinterpreted as something else to which i cannot seem to point it out.
"one night stand". it's like they thought that your future spouse got into contact with some kind of transmittable disease that is related to sexual acts but it's not 💀 either way , i can see how they're trying their best to ignore those rumors and decided to focus on dealing with their confidential paperwork matters. i'm getting heavy themes of long-term stability , spiritual , emotional , and physical healing.
i feel that they're also grounding themselves amidst the chaos that they're currently facing. "let me do my own thing" , yeah they don't really give a damn about what others may think about your future spouse because they know themselves better than anyone else. i sensed that they're seeking balance in their life at the moment. i remembered earlier how your future spouse is dealing with too much work which lead them to feel fatigued or tired.
they may want to resolve their burdens quitely and in a rational way, a lot of reflecting for this one. all they could ever wish for at the moment is to have me-time and be in tune with themselves , being in a state of tranquility. hoping that the rumor dies down soon and everything went back to normal.
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ෆ⸒⸒ pile three
i feel that there's a new female presence in your future spouse's life and how she's planning to take a visit. i'm also seeing them exchanging messages , emails , or texts with one another , discussing their plans for the future. it's similar to how someone is asking you as to what you're going to do after graduation. whoever this woman is , she seems to have something in her mind that she wants to talk about to your future spouse.
there's a swift movement of news that's coming on their way. it's possible that your future spouse may receive important information or messages from this female and how it is something to look forward to. perhaps there's a given opportunity or a project that was being offered to your future spouse that they may want to pursue.
i'm also sensing how this woman is trying to comfort your future spouse and how there's no romantic connection going on between the two of them. whatever this news may be it seems to be a negative one because i feel that your future spouse is experiencing some kind of worriness upon hearing it. they seem to be also stress , it's like they have lost something dear or important to them.
i'm leaning more so on their career side , it's possible that they may have been declined or rejected by a company or job that they wished to work with. for some of you , your future spouse could also be rejected by a university they hoped to attend yet their college application didn't meet what the university is looking for in a student.
"what am i supposed to do ?" there are a lot of what-ifs that are stirring your future spouse's mind at the moment. it was a once in a lifetime moment for them and when they heard about this saddened news they felt disheartened. thinking about it is gradually eroding their peace of mind and how it causes them to feel unease. they seem to want a change in their dynamic in life.
nevertheless , despite these worries that are consuming them , there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. for as long as they remain an optimistic outlook , your future spouse will experience positive moments that are entering their life that may bring them short-term relief or satisfaction. it's possible that in the near-yet-distant future , they'll encounter an unexpected luck that aligns with their plans.
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jongseobsgf · 1 day
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jongseob x chubby!reader
warnings: hurt/comfort, insecurities, kissing, jongseob is so sweet, so sweet i might gag, kinda very self insert,
(warning, i’m a nsfw blog so even though this post is sfw, keep that in mind !!)
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a typical date night with you and jongseob. he took you out to a fancy restaurant, and had booked a table in the far corner away from everyone’s sight.
you always found it a bit weird — sure, you knew he liked privacy and you wanted some too, but it still made you feel uneasy. why did he always book a table at a spot no one could see you? did he not want to show you off? was he embarrassed to be seen with you? was it because of your weight?
yeah, it might be your own insecurities weighing you down and making you overthink, but was it really?
tonight had been no different. it was your anniversary date — yet your table was still hidden from all eyes.
you had put on your prettiest dress, matched it with your prettiest jewerly, you had even spent hours on doing your hair as perfect as possible.
yet he still kept you hidden.
jongseob notices something being off when you don’t even do so much as to look at the dessert he ordered for you two to share. he thought it would be a romantic idea to do, and he knew you loved when he did romantic things for you.
jongseob takes a deep breath, gently reaching his hand over the table to rest it on top of yours. ”what’s wrong?” he asks.
you swallow thickly, not looking anywhere near him.
”talk to me, angel,” he whispers softly.
”are you embarrassed of me? you don’t want people to see me? is that why you’re hiding me from others? why you always get us a table from a hidden spot?” you blurt out, finally lifting your gaze to look at him.
”no, it’s.. wait what?” he stammers. ”you think i’m embarrassed to be seen with you?”
you nod, feeling a lump form in your throat, tears already threatening to fall. he notices this, quickly cupping your face to wipe your tears with his thumbs.
”baby, that’s not the case at all. i thought you knew why i did this,” he says softly.
”what do you mean?” you ask, voice shaky.
”i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve explained it to you. i love taking you out, you know, and i want to be able to do it as normal as i can so.. this is just a safety caution,” he speaks, softly. ”i would show you off all the time if it wasn’t dangerous.. because with my job being what it is, i can’t put you in danger by showing you off. the ’fans’ can be crazy, you know?” he frowns slightly.
you look down again, not buying it. you can’t help the thoughts from coming up. would he hide a skinny girl like this?
”baby, look at me,” jongseob murmurs. you lift your gaze up at him.
”i love you, you know that, right?” he says softly. ”i love all of you. i’m not trying to hide you because i’m embarrassed of you, because i’m absolutely not embarrassed. i wish i could show you off, hype you up to everyone but… i can’t. for your safety, and for my safety, this is what i have to do. and i’m sorry for that.”
”what if i was skinny?” you ask quietly.
”oh, sweetheart,” he sighs softly, caressing your cheek. ”it’s not about your weight or anything like that. i’d have to do this, no matter what you look like, i’d have to keep you safe.”
your tears start flowing freely, and he quickly gets up and rushes to the other side of the table to pull you in a comforting embrace.
”you mean the world to me,” he whispers. ”i like you, all of you. your body, too, all your curves, your softness, i love it all.”
he holds you close, rubbing circles on your back gently.
”let’s go home, alright? i want to make you feel loved,” jongseob whispers softly.
-
jongseob holds your hand as he guides you to his dorm room. he grabs a few snacks as you walk through the kitchen.
”go sit on the bed, okay? i’ll get you something more comfortable to change into,” he says softly, closing his door after you both.
”your clothes won’t fit me,” you mumble.
”i bought clothes as a present for you. and i’ve worn them every once in a while so they have my scent. i ruined the surprise now but i have more surprises coming,” he says, giving you a pile of clothes.
he moves behind you to help you unzip your dress. ”this dress is nice,” he hums as you slip it off.
he takes in your naked form, letting his eyes travel on your body. ”beautiful,” he whispers.
”i’ll go get you a pair of clean underwear. you left some here last time and i thought i’d wash them and keep them here just in case,” he explains, slightly embarrassed.
he pulls you to the bed with him after you’ve changed into the more comfortable clothes he provided.
”i thought we could watch a movie and cuddle to sleep. how’s that sound?” he asks softly.
”sounds nice,” you respond.
he leans back from the embrace, looking into your eyes.
”do you want a kiss?” he asks. you nod.
he complies, gently cupping your face with his hands and pressing his lips on yours. the kiss is soft and sweet, and he tries to pour his love and affection to you through it.
he gently licks your bottom lip, asking for permission to slip his tongue in your mouth. he does just that as you let your mouth slightly fall open, softly exploring your mouth with his tongue.
the kiss breaks as you both have to come up for air. he nuzzles your nose with his, smiling softly.
”i adore you,” he whispers. ”you mean more to me than you know, but i’m going to make you so aware of all the love i feel for you.”
”i adore you too. i love you,” you whisper back.
he leans in, peppering your face with soft kisses, making you giggle.
”there it is, that adorable giggle of yours,” jongseob grins, his snaggle tooth peeking out.
you smile, and he swears his heart is about to burst from loving you so much.
he never thought he could love someone so much — but he’s glad he can. and he’s glad it’s you.
~~~ a/n: i haven’t written in so long my skills are nonexistent now..!! wrote this because as a chubby girl i never ever see any writing for us, everything’s always made for skinny girlies (who i very much love too!!!) so i decided to give our chubby seobie stans some love too! plus i’ve been feeling soo insecure lately and i need my seob to hype me up
i’m thinking about writing a nsfw part 2 to this.. lmk what y’all think
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f1smutwriter · 2 hours
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| 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐔𝐬 (𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔, 𝐥𝐧𝟒)
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Dom!Charles x Dom!Lando x inexperienced!Reader
Pt1, Pt2
Summary: when Charles needed some help to explain what other sexual thing he could do to his girlfriend.
Warning:SMUT!, threesome, oral (fem and male), anal, dirty talk, mention of different kinks, praising, degrading, orgasm control, fingering, overstimulation, edging, sex toys, dom/sub situation, needy reader, begging kink, a lot of foreplay, voyeurism kink, spanking (ass, and clit), slight BDSM, hair pulling, spitting, extreme mean Charles, and more that I probably missed
Notes: Part 3 and omg Charles and lando threesome been on my list of books. So what better not then to freaking do it with this small series. Please if you want more series just asked and I will deliver. Hope you enjoy!!
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As I get ready for a little dinner with Charles and his friends, he told me to dress nice. Then I see him come in the room with a box making me looking at him weird. “What is that” I asked putting earrings making him smirk at me. But not any smirk, it was your in trouble smirk making me feel a bit nervous. "You know how we said we were gonna be more open to sexual things" He said as I nod before looking at him.
"Do you trust me" He whispered in my ear making me nod instantly. He takes out a pair of panties, giving them to me while I look at him completely confused. “I already have panties on” I reminded him causing him to smirk. “Just take those off. These are better” He grumbled grabbing my waist and pulling me close to his body. I do what he wanted placing the panties I had on, on the table before he grabbed me and kissed my neck. “Today is gonna be so much fun. You’re gonna love it Ma chérie” He whispered nibbling on my neck while I put the new pair of panties on.
We finished getting ready, and went to the car. He opened the door for me, feeling myself blush. “Thank you baby” I say softly while I go into the car. “You’re welcome princess” He smirked while closing my door. He sat down on the drivers side holding my thigh. “Ready for this extremely boring dinner” He says dramatically while squeezing my thigh but something was off. He was wearing his smirk that was only around when he showed me stuff.
“Why are you smiling like that” I asked him making him snort out as if he knew something I didn’t. “No reason Mon amour just excited that’s all” he whispered as he drives to the place with his hand on my thigh rubbing it once in a while. I just ignored his smirk and continued to look out the window. Until I feel something vibrate against my pussy causing a gasp to leave my lips. “W-what is that” I moaned gripping his arm.
“Called vibrating panties and I have the control to them” He smirked making the settings go higher. I moaned loudly feeling the vibrations go directly on my clit, I squeeze my eyes shut and let the feeling take over. “So sensitive huh baby. Is it making your pretty pussy feel good" He mocked me feeling myself nod without a second thought. He stopped it letting me take a breather for a few minutes. He turned on the cold air since he saw me flushed and sweating. He started chuckling putting his hand back on my thigh like nothing happened. But I was soaking my panties praying it wouldn't leak to my dress.
"Were here" He smiled trying to act all innocent like he didn't just do the most evil thing ever. He gave the keys to the Valet and opened my door helping me out. All you could hear is people yelling for him and cameras flashing trying to ask questions. "Ready baby" He asked lovingly kissing my head. "Ready" I whispered the paparazzi still getting me a bit nervous. We made our way to the building his hand on the lower back guiding me through the crowd.
We went inside and go towards our table where all our friends were. I sat in the middle of Charle and Lando. About 30 minutes into the dinner I feel the vibrations on my clit making gasp. I looked at Charles with a shocked face since it was on full blast. "Y/n are you okay" Kika asked Pierres girlfriend and one of my best friends out of all of the wags, well her and Lily. "Yeah I-i'm okay" I stuttered trying to talk normal. Charles leaned into me whispering into my ear. "You think that's me love. It came with two controls, try to find out who has the second one" He smirked kissing my head.
I bite my tongue trying not to moan out loud and embarrass myself. All of a sudden I heard a snicker next to me, making me turn and see Lando biting his lip to not laugh hard. Then I hear Charles chuckle lowly finally connecting the dots. “You got Lando in on this” I whimpered as Lando turned the vibrator on once again. “I told you we were gonna teach you did I not” he smiled as he moves his hand under the table and slips two fingers into my panties.
Lando looked down watching Charles fingers slip into my tight hole. I bite my lip gripping landos thigh trying my hardest to hold in a loud moan. “Y/n are you sure you’re good” Kika asked again making sure everything was okay. “Yes I’m sure just my stomach it’s been hurting” I say lying through my teeth so she didn’t know what was going on under the table. “I can take you home Mon amour it’s not a big deal” Charles acts worried like he was the one doing all of this to me. “Yeah you should take her home she does not look well” Pierre says concerned about my healthy. He slips his fingers out of me, causing me to let go of Landos leg.
Charles gave Lando a small nod telling him to come with us. “Yeah I should get going to it’s getting late and I have some stuff to do with max tomorrow for a new video” Lando lied making everyone say bye to all three of us. “You better pray sweet girl because we’re not going easy” Lando whispered seductively in my ear causing me to gasp out.
On the drive home it was quiet, maybe a little too quiet. I was in the back seat while Lando and Charles were in the front checking on me through the mirror. "Tu vas bien là-bas Mon cher" Charles asked me softly causing me to nod my head yes. "Your gonna have so much fun okay, don't worry your pretty head" He reassured me putting his hand on my thigh. (Are you okay back there my dear)
I felt the car stop causing me to shiver a little bit knowing what’s gonna happen next. They both turn with their famous smirks on their face. “Ready baby” Charles whispered softly making me blush at his thick accent. “Yeah” I whispered looking down at my lap feeling a bit nervous. Lando opens my door helping me out, I grab onto his hand getting out. I smiled as I feel both of their hands on my waist holding me. I get lead up the stairs to mine and Charles bedroom. “Your heart is beating so fast princess. Are you nervous” Lando whispered in my ear feeling my panties getting soaked.
“No she’s not nervous, she’s horny” Charles smirked leading me upstairs. He opened the door holding me and pushing me on the bed. I whimpered slightly squeezing my thighs together. “What’s wrong darling is your pussy needy” lando teased rubbing my thighs softly making me open my legs wide. “No none of that, you know I don’t like when your a needy slut” Charles said sternly with his eye brow raised. “I’m sorry” I whimpered squeezing my thighs shut releasing some pressure from my went cunt.
“There’s my good girl” Charles said rubbing my body softly feeling myself lean in more. He kissed me softly holding my hair. I whimpered in the kiss as he starts getting more aggressive slipping his tongue in my mouth. I tried to keep up with his pace but I couldn’t which caused him to laugh a little bit at me. “Is my girl trying to keep up” he whispered in my neck as he gives it slightly kisses.
“Stop your being mean” I blushed bright red looking down at my lap. He just snickered at me with his eyes filled with pure lust. “Baby I’m not being mean, but if that’s what you want I’ll be meaner” he whispered with the most raspy voice I’ve heard. I whimpered the second I heard it, causing me to look at him and Lando.
“Aww are you wet, did he make you wet darling” Lando teased rubbing my thighs softly. He slowly massaged my thighs making me whimper. His hand slowly moved up to my pussy. Once his fingers made contact with my soaking panties he groaned rubbing them softly, giving me the tiniest bit of friction. I whined bucking my hips making Charles give me that look that says ‘behave’.
Lando went on his knees in front of me kissing my thighs gently. I looked down at him as he was leaving sloppy kisses all the way up to my core. He looked up at me to ask if he could take it off making me nod frantically. He chuckled softly taking off my panties looking at my pussy properly. “You have such a pretty pussy darling” he whispered to me his hot breath so close to it. Before I could answer he took a large strip from my hole to my clit making me moan. He started eating me out like he’s been doing it to me for years.
I moaned going to grip his hair but knowing the rules I had to ask permission. “Please may I touch you” I moaned as he sucked my clit as I tried to get my sentence out. He hummed against me holding my thighs tight to make sure I didn’t move away from his mouth. I cried out gripping his dark brown curls, my head thrown back in pure white hot pleasure from his skilled tongue. You could easily tell Lando has done this multiple times just by the way he was doing it.
I whined out getting so close to my orgasm and Charles knew by the way I was whining, so he immediately grabbed lando by the hair and pull him away from my pussy. “Mate what are you doing” Lando said a bit frustrated that he didn’t make me cum. “She’s close and she doesn’t deserve it yet” Charles explained making me whine out needing to cum. He gave me that scary look again causing me to behave in an instant. “Should he finger that pretty pussy I love Mon amour” He whispered in my ear before slapping my clit harshly, I whined from the slight stinging sensation. All I did was nod stupidly slowly getting dumber and dumber by the minute.
“Sweet baby is getting so dumb for us huh, drooling like a dumb girl” he mocked in a mean voice while I whined in protest. He just chuckled and told Lando to finger my pussy good. I gasped all the air out of my lungs when Lando slammed two of his thick fingers in my tight hole. It was the most toe curling pleasure I’ve felt in days. I screamed out as he fingered my tight hole fast and quick like it was his job. I tried to grab his wrist to slow him down but, Charles slapped my clit once more to stop me.
“Stop before you don’t get to cum the rest of the night” he warned causing me to whined loudly to him leaving my hands to the side. I felt that familiar knot in my stomach I feel all the time. “Close, please let me cum” I cried out as Lando’s fingers showed me no mercy. Once I said I was close he went even fast which I didn’t know it was possible but it was with Lando’s hand. “I don’t know Charles should we let her cum. Has she deserved it” Lando teased as he curled his fingers hitting my g-spot perfectly.
“Probably not but should we just let her” Charles mocked back with that same smirk on his face. That smirk meant I wasn’t gonna cum not anytime soon. “No she shouldn’t” Lando says pulling his fingers out causing me to cry out even more. My eyes filled with tears from the denial of my orgasms, my body shaking from the pleasure and slight pain. “It’s okay chérie wanna know why” Charles grinned biting his lip looking at my fucked out body. “W-why” I mumbled feeling so tired to even talk.
“Because we’re gonna fuck you now. Want that, want me and lando to fill both of your tight holes” he teased pulling my hair so I could look up at him. All I did was nod before laying my head down gently. He took out the lube and a vibrator which I knew they were gonna torture me with. “Go easy on her. This is her first time doing anal” Charles mentioned looking at lando with a stern look.
“Don’t worry mate she’s in good hand” Lando chuckled with his British accent getting more apparent. He slowly put lube on his fingers on my puckered hole, before slowly pushing in one finger in. I whimpered at the new feeling I felt, I clenched right away trying to get used to it. “Relax darling it’ll get better soon” he whispered slowly scissoring it to stretch it out just right to fit all of him. He gently pushed in a second finger making me cry out in slight pain, all Charles did was shush me watching the whole entire thing.
“Think she’s good” Lando whispered before undo this belt and pulling down his pants. Charles did the same thing making me drool at the sight of their big cocks. Charles saw me staring at him get undressed so he put his cock closer to my lips. “Go ahead baby” he encouraged me causing my lips to wrap around his pink tip. He groaned the second he felt my tongue on him. “Just a taste” he grunted before pulling it out of my mouth. He looked at lando telling him to go ahead, so he gently rubbed lube all over his thick cock.
He positioned his tip to my hole before pushing in slowly. I gasped loudly at the slight discomfort I felt. Once he bottomed out he whispered sweet nothings to me to get my mind off the pain. “Ready baby I’m gonna go next” Charles tells me softly before pushing his cock into my tight cunt, all I did was gasp and hide into his chest feeling full to the brim.
They both started moving together gently so they didn’t hurt me. I gasped at the feeling go two cocks fucking me causing them to go harder. “Does that feel good baby. Do you like having to cocks stuffed in you” Charles grunted fucking me harder, but all I did was moan to him. I felt so light head it was unbearable pleasure I was feeling. Lando smirked giving Charles the vibrator while I wasn’t looking. He turned it on and put it directly on my clit. I screamed out in tears of pleasure, feeling the bubbling sensation in my stomach.
“Gonna cum please can’t hold it” I sobbed feeling so close to the edge that I might pass out. “Not yet you don’t get to cum. Wait for lando and I’ll let you” Charles whispered to me feeling myself nod frantically at his words. I heard Lando moaned lowly feeling his orgasm getting closer and closer each thrust he took. I clenched around him as he moaned in my neck. “Fuck I’m gonna cum” he grunted thrusting in and out faster and faster.
Out of nowhere he moaned stuffing my hole with his hot cum. He groaned riding out his orgasm a few more seconds more. I looked at Charles pleading to see what he’d say and all he did was nod telling me it was okay. I gasped out moaning loudly cumming all over his cock throwing my head back into Lando’s chest. I whimpered when he stuffed my cunt with his got seed making sure it went in deep. I laid down lifeless from the intense orgasm I just had. “You okay baby girl” Lando mumbled in my neck as Charles went to go get towels and water.
My legs were trembling when Charles came back and cleaned us up. “You staying” he whispered to Lando softly cleaning him up. “I don’t want to bother you guys” he mumbled getting up but I whined loudly pouting up at him. “Please stay want you to cuddle with me and cha” I whimpered in his neck, he looked at Charles and he nodded yes. Charles kissed Lando’s head before going behind me and hold Lando and I. That night I was cuddled til we all fell asleep from an intense night of pleasure.
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Notes: I’m so sorry guys I didn’t mean to leave you guys for 3 WHOLE MONTHS. I promise I’ll post more, and maybe do a little serious for Halloween. I wanted to try kinktober but I’m a bit scared but we’ll see. Anyways I hope you guys all enjoyed this little series and I’ll make sure to do more just request it they are always open. Anyways have a good day loveys see you soon <3
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euniexenoblade · 10 hours
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Choose Your Own Smutty Halloween Adventure - Prologue
"Hiiii everyone! It's me, Mordred! Breaking the fourth wall to bring you an all new fun smutty adventure! Let me welcome you to The Fucking Game!"
Curtains, that you previously never noticed on your screen, rise up to reveal a game show set. On the left side of the set there sits five yellow, cushy seats. On the right side are shackles chained to the wall, the only part of the set where the yellow striped wallpaper is disturbed. Between the two is a small wall to prevent the sides from seeing each other.
"Now, I know what you're asking, 'Mordred, what is The Fucking Game, and why the fuck are you breaking the fourth wall?!' Well, my dear reader, it's very simple, it's like the The Dating Game, except it's fucking, and you're reading it. And, it needs a host, and who better than me?"
"Oh, and did I mention it's a Halloween special? So, ya know, monsters and shit."
"Shall we meet our lovely slut I mean, bachelorette?"
Two hooded figures pull a girl out by the ankles, she seems to have been knocked out, sliding across the floor as they drag her. The hooded figures take the shackles and close them on the girl's wrists before walking away.
"Allow me to introduce you to-" Mordred turns around. The girl is unconscious on the ground. Mordred turns back to the camera. "Hmm. Hold on one second folks." Mordred walks off screen, but can be heard somewhat, "Go wake her the fuck up I have smut to write you dumbfucks!"
Two hooded figures walk back on stage, one has a stun baton. The figure lightly taps the girl with it. The girl screams, jumping awake and puts her back on the wall, cowering. The hooded figures walk off screen.
Mordred now walks back on screen. "Now! Allow me to introduce you to Delilah!"
"Where am I?! What is going on?! I want to go home!"
Mordred looks disappointed. "FINE! I'LL DO THAT TOO!" Delilah is a 30 year old trans woman from California. She's a college dropout, has had only one relationship with a cis dude and it ended badly, and now she's looking for love in all the wrong places~"
"I am?"
"Yes. You are. Today, Delilah will find true love. Or die trying I suppose, I don't know, it's not up to me. I'm just a host."
"But now, let me introduce you to the people she's gonna fuck!"
"Fuck?"
Mordred groans. "Yes, fuck, it's The Fucking Game, keep up girlie."
"Anyways, our first contestant, hailing from the forests out east, Gerold the Werewolf."
A big wolf walks out onto the stage. He stands at about 9 feet tall on two legs, covered in fur, hunched a bit, his big teeth obvious despite his snout being closed. He sits in the first yellow chair and looks into the camera and speaks, "My name is Gerold, but I go by Gere, because there are hundreds of werewolves, but there's only one Gerewolf." Crowd laughter is heard. What crowd? Who knows. "I deserve to have this girl as a personal fuck toy, because I am loyal and devoted. Though I may have a thousand victims, I'll have only one fuck toy. You'll never worry about where I am or who I'm with, I'm a werewolf, not a WHEREwolf." More crowd laughter.
The camera pans back to Mordred. "Ha ha ha isn't he a hoot? Now here's our second contestant, Lilith, the Demon Queen from Hell."
The camera pans back to the chairs, a tall woman with red skin walks onto stage. She plops into the second yellow chair, she has a black bra and black panties on, black hair to her shoulders, and big horns sticking out of her head. As she speaks, you can see her razor sharp teeth, "Hi there, I'm Lilith, and I'm a bat outta Hell." Mordred can subtly be heard saying "I don't think she knows what that phrase means...." Lilith continues, "I like long walks on the lava beach, I love to fuck, and baby, I know hell, so I have the experience to make this relationship work." The mystery crowd claps.
Once again, the focus is on Mordred. "Isn't she just lovely? A true romantic if I've ever seen one. And, now, our third contestant, Priscilla the Ghost Girl."
Back to the stage, a blue-ish, translucent being floats over to the middle chair. She looks like a cartoon ghost, big black circles for eyes, a mouth that's a line and moves to a circle shape as she talks, "Hello everyone, I'm Priscilla, the ghost with the most! I don't go out often, since I'm stuck to the house I'm haunting. But, that said, I'm a homeowner, I read a lot, and I love to stay home and give you all the attention you need." The mystery crowd can be heard going 'awww.'
"Wait she's done already?" Mordred whines before noticing the camera is back on her. "Oh, hi there, isn't she just the best?! Now, let's move on to our fourth contestant, Slosha the Slime Princess!"
Camera pans back to the chairs, and a green, moist, almost slug shaped being moves across the floor, leaving a trail the whole way. Once she gets to the fourth chair, she morphs her body into a humanoid shape, big breasts, big belly, even fake slime hair. As she sits down into the chair you can see the chair get moist through her body. "Hiiiiiiiiiii! I'm Slosha! I am the Princess of the great slime empire! I lovvvvve to eat, so you know I'm gonna have so much fun digesting you! But I love to play with my foooood, so if you become my sex toy I'll never leave you alone! And, since I'm royalty, you have to do whatever I tell you to do or I will have you executed ^_^"
Mordred speaks to the camera, "Holy fuck, isn't she just beautiful? Actual royalty on our show? That's so cool. Anyways, thank you readers for being patient, we're almost done. One final contestant, possibly the charismatic of them all, allow me to introduce you tooooo: Pumpkin!"
Back to the stage. A pumpkin falls from the roof into the last chair. It has no other discernible features. It can not speak. It is just a pumpkin. The mystery crowd goes crazy with applause.
"Isn't Pumpkin just lovely, folks? Now for the the game to truly to begin. Delilah will now pick which contestant she wants alone time with. And by pick, I mean she gets whatever you tell her she gets."
"Wait, what? I don't want this-"
"Did I tell you to speak?" Mordred says in a stern tone. Delilah goes quiet.
"That's right! It's you" Mordred points at you, the person reading this, "who gets to choose who Delilah gets fucked by!" Delilah gulps. "Now, reader, it's up to you, begin the game."
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awriternamedart · 2 days
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a collection of my middle aged man yaoi sampard headcanons -
Sampo has poliosis, a condition that can cause premature greying in areas on the scalp.
Gepard has lots of facial and body hair but it grows slowly because of their cold enviroment. His beard is a stopwatch for how long hes been on the frontlines that time around as he only gets to shave when hes at his home/stationed in the city.
Sampo has a few beauty marks n moles ! mostly on his back and shoulders.
Gepard has freckles! All the Landaus do!
Once Gepard scared the ever living shit out of Sampo because the Landaus have reflective eyes. So Sampo just saw two blue dots in his bedroom once and nearly fell out the window he climbed in through.
Gepard has piercings! Two simple lobe piercings, he only wears them when hes on break. (so like, never.) Serval pierced them for him when they were teenagers so its a little botched but he does his best to take care of them because their a fond memory of his sister. (He also owns a pair of studs for each of his sisters - a snowflake set for Lynx, and a music note set for Serval. Otherwise, simple black studs.)
Sampo has sideburns!! He tends to keep them trimmed well , since his appearence is a huge part of the show. Hes incredibly meticulous down to the last detail in order to sell it, and can spend up to two hours every morning making sure hes ready for the stage .
Gepard is an amputee. I need to update my arm lore doc but basic gist - his gauntlet is a prosthetic used to trap Fragmentum in his arm nub and uses that Fragmentum as a powersource for the Geomarrow to bounce off of and create the ice and mist he uses in battle. He still deals with phantom pain but most of the time it is soothed with his prosthetic - though it can still flare up horribly when overused.
Sampos really weak to being kissed on the nape of his neck, right where his hair is. Hes not quite sure why.
Gepards easy to blush but inCREDIBLY hard to fluster. Hes so used to keeping himself in check and in control that to catch him in any form of stupor is rare.
Related - Gepard struggles immensely when hes out of control of a situation and someone he is unfamiliar with or doesnt trust holds power over it. Hes so used to being in charge and being looked to and only having those he trusts as peers or over him in the power system that being thrown into that situation crawls under his skin in a /neg way. Physical vulnerabilty is also not easy and very stressful.
Quite the opposite for Sampo - emotional vulnerabilty ties this guy in KNOTS. Hes pretty open to touch (once your on his trust list and ONLY if your on the trust list) but youll have to drag him kicking and screaming if you want a glimpse at his actual thoughts.
also Sampo has a wheezy hyena laugh.
Gepard only has only one or two potted plants he tried to use as motivation to go home more often- it was a suggestion from Pela. But uh, yeah it didnt work. Hes a great cook though!
On the other hand- do not let Sampo within 5 meters of a kitchen. For your sake and his. (hes not that bad and can make enough to get by- but it really .. does not taste great ...)
Sampos not entirely sure how old he is, but Natasha figured he was somewhere in his late twenties early thirties when he arrived on Jarilo and hes kinda been rolling with that ever since.
Gepard overheats really easily when he gets off planet eventually. Like it is bad how easily he gets heatstroke.
Sampo uses his blades to pick at his teeth sometimes. Both Natasha and Gepard hate this .
Gepard has a nasty resting bitch face. Hes learned to be able to nullify it a little bit but when hes tired it drops back to usual and makes it look likes constantly about to murder someone.
On the plus side, this control over his expression means he plays a nasty game of poker! (or whatever the Jarilo 6 counterpart of poker is)
Sampo has on more then one occassion forgot that he has the ability to neutralize most of Belobogs cold and has wandered outside without his jacket. Many people looked at him like he was insane.
Gepard always cuts the sleeve right above his gauntlet implant and sews a new hem to keep it from getting caught in machinery.
Hook called Sampo Gramps once. He never recovered.
Gepards hair is slowly turning brown instead of greying! Sampo is infact, salty about this.
Gepard has three majorly noticable scars. He has frostburn on his flesh hand that wind up his arm, he has Fragmentum cracks that wind up his opposite shoulder (amputated arm)(inactive so it looks like scar tissue or a lightning scar rather then black or gold) , and an impact scar/explosion scar across his lower back. Other minor scars are shrapnel cuts and his knuckles being scarred from being a fistfighter. Also his nose is slightly crooked.
Sampo has done a damn good job at making sure he looks the part of the shifty businessman but he has a few marks of his own. Being an Emanator means he heals quickly- and can mask any scars and injuries he gets with relative ease - but he prefers to not rely on this aspect. His biggest scar is an ugly blade cut into his right shoulderblade, and its only so prominant because it struggled to heal properly.
Sampo is shorter the Natasha! Natasha is just tall !! She is shorter then Gepard who is the tallest among the Belobog cast but shes second.
In order of tallest to shortest of Belobog adults its - Gepard, Natasha, Sampo, Serval, Luka, Bronya, Seele. Sorry Seele.
The Landau eye color and color crest is so recognizable in Belobog that that shade of blue is called Landau Blue.
When Sampo has a difficult time sleeping, he wordlessly buries his face into Gepards neck, who simply begins to hum if hes also awake.
Gepard is a light sleeper- he wakes up very easily. Sampo is not. Gepard has had to fight an extremely sleepy Sampo to get up in the morning more times then he can count.
Gepard actually does have a good singing voice, its just that he has poor discipline and tries to match Servals octave. Which is. Way to high. He also has good rhythm!
This does not mean he is a good dancer.
He can get through on dancing, it being part of his upbringing and studies growing up, but he can only do what steps he knows. Any improv and he falters.
Sampo has in fact trust falled on Gepard multiple times. Once at Bronya and Seeles wedding. He basically forced Gepard to dip him.
Gepard is actually incredibly sassy. Its just that hes awful at inflection and everything comes across as matter-of-fact or dry as fuck. That, and he only dares to sass Serval most of the time- theres not many other people hes comfortable enough with to let loose that much.
When it comes to fishing out back alley deals, few are more knowledgable than Sampo. Even before the Trailblazers, Sampo and Gepard had an under the table deal where if Gepard was unable to crack a case alone, he could get information off Sampo in exchange for supplies and shield. He was not happy about this deal but he deemed it a necessity- for the sake of Belobogs safety.
Sampo would and still does anonymously tip the Guards off on major crimes that could severely impact Belobogs already fragile economy. Hes no saint , but he has his personal morals and he sticks to them.
Gepard had many sharp teef , lil fangies even ! but theyve been worn down over time.
Sampo also has lil sharp teef ! his are more snake fang like tho, thinner.
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lotusarchon · 1 day
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you should know better than to ask a lady her age (nezha x reader)
content warnings: female reader, second pov (you/your), reader is a goddess and has tamayo vibes, nezha is nezha just more feral, mild age gap (both are adults on their first meeting + reader appears in her late twenties and nezha between 24-25 > author has no idea what counts as early/late twenties), all fluff and wholesome stuff, swooning nezha, nezha bullies mk once and wukong multiple times (biggest nezha opp), li jing is his own warning tbh
author's notes: demon slayer x lmk crossover when?
Meeting you was a dream Nezha could never want to forget. It was one of his life's greatest mistakes, and yet for once in his life, it was one he held no regrets for. Not one bit, when the feelings he held for you were so pure and filled with nothing but the utmost passion. To him, you meant the world, and perhaps more.
“Nezha, is it?” Soft hands run through his hair, undoing the messy braids he'd struggled to tie just this morning. “An interesting name for a god like him.”
“Does it matter?” Above him, his father crosses his arm. “Can you heal him, or not?”
The soft voice sighs melancholy. It reminds him of a lullaby, sung to him by a distant voice during a thunderstorm. The hands that thread through his hair still, and the warmth spreads through his body. Gentle fingers press into his scalp, massaging the tender skin.
Then, there is silence.
“That's it?” Li Jing's bitter voice breaks the silence. “That's all?”
“I must remind you, my lord, that this humble servant is not as powerful as her elders.” The hands in his hair gently rub a pattern. “And she has done her best for this lotus prince. All that remains now is for him to rest and allow his body to heal on its own.”
He feels fine, though. Whatever this stranger had done, his body has never felt more alive. It was opposite feeling he had felt before, when Taiyi had restored him.
His father ‘tsks’ angrily. “He'll be fine. He's not some child to rest at every interval.”
He anticipates whoever the stranger is to agree with him.
“Li Jing. You are correct that this is no child, but he is, theoretically, your son. And unless you imply your wife has made you wear a green hat, there is nothing in this world that can change the shared blood you two will have even until death. Have some sympathy, won't you?”
Ah. This was a strange feeling, having someone stand up to that prick of a father he had. Something warm fills his chest at the thought.
It's only when a door slams shut that Nezha dares to open his eyes. A kind woman is looking down at him, with nothing but a smile on her lips.
“Hello, Nezha.” You spoke his name so kindly, filled nothing but gentleness. “I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?”
A goddess. No, something else indeed.
Nezha had zero qualms dedicating his life's purpose to you. It's not like he had much to do anyway, and the Jade Emperor did not seem to mind his attachment to you so long as he did his duties. Li Jing complained often, and for all Nezha knew, most definitely still did, about this vulnerability he showed the goddess that healed him, but the Lotus Prince found that he did not give one fuck. Why should he care if his father had a stick up his ass about his relationship with the goddess that healed him? Lady (Name) held no complaints towards his presence, and thus, any other complaints from outsiders were ignored.
And you truly had nothing against Nezha's presence at your side. Since the day he had found himself lying on your lap, he seemed to hold some form of attachment and loyalty towards you. You put it off as his attempt at being grateful, even though you really didn't mind. Helping people was always one of the joys you held ever so dearly in your immortal life. Nezha really didn't need to express his gratefulness…
Though his company was nothing short of welcoming. The Lotus Prince, for all his grumpy attitude and sulky expressions, was a dear to be around, and you quite liked how his expression would always turn so adorably pink when you compliment his feats. One of your favorite pastimes with him was styling his hair, and tying colorful ribbons in them for the funs of it.
A few gods and immortals were surprised at the sight, but soon enough they learnt it was best not to ask. Less questions meant less injuries, since a certain prince did not like it when people swooned over your kindness.
You were pretty sure that was why so many patients senses a cold aura every visit, come to think of it. But maybe it was just your imagination and not the lotus prince glaring from the window.
Speaking of which, how did he managed to climb so high??
“Sun Wukong, is it?” You thanked Nezha for the tray that he offered you, your favorite blend of tea―a gift from Nezha's older brother, Jinzha―already made and poured into the fancy porcelain cups you favored so much. The tray was set down on the small table between yourself and your guests, and you offered a cup to each. “And your loyal protege, MK?”
The boy wearing the red bandanna nodded quickly, a noticeable blush on his cheeks. You put it off as excitement, since the moment he'd entered the celestial realm, he'd been gushing about the beauty of the place, top to bottom and back again. His mentor wasn't half as excited, grabbing him by the collar to stop him from running off to who knows where while he sipped on a cup. 
“I'm surprised you haven't heard of me,” Sun Wukong remarked, raising a brow at you. “You a new god or something?” When you nodded in confirmation, he blinked. “Ah, that explains it. Pretty sure I would've recognized a pretty face like yours.”
Next to you, Nezha's aura radiated annoyance. Maybe it was just your imagination, but you swore you could feel the god and monkey exchanging heated glares.
Weird.
“You flatter this servant too much,” you answered humbly and smiled. “But it is true that this is the first time I've even heard of you, Sun Wukong.”
“Ah? How old even are you?” MK questioned curiously.
“25 when she first achieved enlightenment. 457 years in mortal terms.” This time, Nezha was the one who spoke. You flashed him a grateful smile―because sadly, you truly kept no track of these things, not when it felt so pointless―but Wukong exchanged a weird look with his protege, especially when Nezha gave him a stink eye. “And you should know better than to ask a lady her age. It's disrespectful.”
“Don't be mean, he meant no harm―” You chided Nezha, gently patting his face. He leaned into your touch with a pleasant smile, and you shook your head at the sweet gesture. “And yes, I've lived long, but not as long as the Prince or Sun Wukong has. I'm afraid there are still many things I am duly unaware of.”
Sun Wukong snickered. “Some more than others, aye, Nezha?”
In response, a golden brick was thrown at the monkey's face. It hit him square on the face, and you gasped as Sun Wukong fell over, holding his face painfully. 
“Nezha!” You scolded the lotus prince and gather your robes to stand and examine the fallen Sage. Aside from the red spot on his forehead, he seemed fine, but still whined about the pain he was in. You glanced at Nezha's pouting expression. “That was not very polite! Don't do that again, understood?”
Nezha relented. “Yes, Lady (Name).” Even when angry she's still as beautiful as the morning sun.
Sun Wukong peeked an eye open. He caught the Lotus Prince's gaze from his position on your lap, and while you focused on soothing his pain, he winked.
Let's just say all hell broke loose after that, and Nezha and Sun Wukong owed you a new palace.
“Nyahaha.”
“Fuck you you stupid fucking cock slobbing whore!”
“Nezha!”
“Sorry, Lady (Name).”
“:3”
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@lotusarchon , 23.09.2024, all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!
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tsxkkis · 1 day
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# sugawara koushi - next door
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a/n: idk why but i really like this one (it's kinda stupid, but i still like it for some reason) :33 anyways, let me tell y'all i HATE school rn i can't stand it but i also don't want it to end.
summary: your next door neighbor is incredibly helpful. and nice, and sweet, and oh so charming.....
warnings: none!
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sugawara particularly enjoyed the peace of living alone.
it was a complete one-eighty from the nature of his work; as an elementary school teacher, his day to day life was incredibly loud. kids weren't exactly the calmest creatures on earth, and even though they caused a lot of mischief and problems, he couldn't say he didn't like his job. quite the opposite, in fact - he loved it more than anything, but after a long, tiring day spent with these little monsters, he appreciated some peace and quiet.
that was, until a new neighbor moved in right next to him.
'is everything... alright?'
sugawara was caught off-guard by the sound of his doorbell ringing, even more so when an unknown person appeared right in front of it, a can of what seemed to be anti-bug spray in one hand and a terrified look gracing their face.
you knew that meeting your neighbor for the first time in a circumstance like this one wasn't exactly ideal; you'd much rather come to his door with a freshly made batch of cookies, introducing yourself like in those rom coms your mother used to watch on a daily basis. instead, you ended up in front of sugawara's apartment with fear in your eyes and a request you wouldn't normally make when first meeting someone.
'there's a big, really big spider in my apartment. can you help me get it?'
the silver-haired man blinked at you a few times, as if he was processing your words, which shoot out your mouth at lights speed. he tilted his head to the side as silence took over for a few seconds, popping out of his bubble after a short while, lips curving up into a warm smile.
he stepped out of his apartment, closing the door behind him.
'where is it exactly?'
from that day forward, sugawara didn't experience even an ounce of his previous, peaceful home life. but he didn't exactly complain.
to his surprise, you popped up in front of his door the day after he helped you kill that spider. and the day after that, and the day after that. it was almost a routine for the two of you at this point; every time he came back from work, he would await to hear the doorbell ringing almost impatiently. you became a vital part of his day, and it wasn't full without your presence, so much so that even his old high-school friends, daichi and asahi, could notice that something has changed in the life of his silver haired colleague.
he was shocked to see that after a few months of your little 'thing', you didn't appear at his door.
sugawara immediately took notice of how odd it was; and took action even faster, putting his slippers on as he headed to the door of your apartment, his eyes quickly glazing over the clock hanging next to the door, the time reading barely after 7pm.
he knocked once, and then again, nervously shifting his weight from one leg to another.
he could barely hear some mumbling on the other side of the door, paired with quick footsteps and after a few minutes of waiting, he was met with your face standing on the other side of the door, an apron on and face smudged with something that he couldn't quite name.
'oh, you're alright.' he mumbled, lips curving into a smile the moment his eyes landed upon your figure, a feeling of relief washing over him. 'you didn't show up at my apartment today. i guess i got... worried.'
he stopped for a quick second.
'not that you have to come to my apartment every day, of course! if you're busy then-'
'no, no, that's not it.' you barged mid sentence, opening the door just a little bit wider. 'come in.'
the first thing he noticed was the smell; his nose picked up on the multiple spices mixing in the air together, head turning to the side as he noticed your kitchen being an absolute mess.
it makes sense, he thought. you were just busy. it was nothing to be worried about.
'i wanted to make dinner for the two of us.' your voice echoed from behind him. 'you know, to thank you for helping me so many times throughout these past months. as you can see, though- i'm no masterchef.'
sugawara chuckled when hearing all this; his smile warm as he looked closer at the food.
'it looks perfectly good to me.'
'you don't have to lie.'
'i'm not.'
the apartment fell silent for a short while, the silver haired boy's eyes darting away from the kitchen and towards the open living space, the table already set with candles, even though the food wasn't even half-made, and you took notice of it right away.
'i wanted this to be special.' the tips of your ears turned red, eyes turning away from the man. 'you know, a date.'
a date?
he looked at her, dumbfounded.
sugawara didn't consider himself remotely as interesting as his other friends, so it came as no surprise when they had more admirers than him. he was just kind of... there.
to hear that you, of all people, had thought of him as something more than just a friend, made his heart beat faster.
he smiled from ear to ear, a small chuckle leaving his lips.
'ah, so i guess you beat me to it.' he sighed, his body leaning against the kitchen counter. 'i certainly waited too long with asking you out.'
you looked down at your feet, face flushed pink.
'maybe a little bit.'
'well, i can help you finish cooking this and we can go through with the date.' he proposed, his body involuntarily moving towards yours, taking a few small steps. 'if you'd like that, of course.'
and who would say no to sugawara and his charming smile?
'yeah. i'd love that.'
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taglist: @moonswolfie @wyrcan @kitsune-kita @haechansbbg @luvvrgirll @serotoninbarbz @sugaraddict301
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iwaoiness · 2 days
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Every time Oikawa asks Iwaizumi to take a picture of him, it’s never just one picture—it’s at least a dozen between his “Iwa-chan, you’ve got to tell me if I’m backlit!” and “Hold the phone straight, Iwa-chan, don’t tilt it!” and “I need a different background” and “Are you getting my shoes in the shot, Iwa-chan?” and “Wait, is live photo on?”
And while Iwaizumi always protests, giving him an exasperated glare with his own retorts like, “How can you be backlit when it’s cloudy?” and “I’ll tilt your face if you don’t fucking stand still” and “I swear, I’m going to punch you” and “Yes, your damn shoes are in the shot”, deep down, he doesn’t really mind.
Oikawa is beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. He has a striking physical charm that makes anyone turn for a second glance. He’s naturally photogenic, always has been. There’s no picture where he truly looks bad, not even that one from when he was three, crying his eyes out in front of a piece of cake spilled on the floor, snot dripping, his face flushed red.
That’s why Iwaizumi can’t help but smile a little bit every time he frames Oikawa in the photo and presses the button to capture him. He likes how Tooru smiles at his phone, genuine and soft. Or how he tries to seem distracted, looking away while shaking his hands. Or when he puts his hands to the waistband of his jeans, adjusting it, and lowers his head slightly, as if paying attention to what he’s doing. Or, his favorite, when he tilts his chin up and lets the sun kiss him completely, closing one eye and subtly shielding his face with one hand as he smiles.
Or he turns to the side and looks over his shoulder at the camera, that intense gaze paired with a playful smile curling his lips. Or he sticks his tongue out naughtily and flashes a victory sign. Or, when he’s sitting, he spreads his long legs with feigned carelessness, his arms resting on his thighs as he looks off to the side, his head tilted just enough to show more of his pale neck. Or he leans against the wall, pretending to be interested in what’s going on around him, hands clasped behind his back. Or he walks forward, one hand in the pocket of his pants and the other holding one of his favorite bubble tea.
No matter how he poses, even when he’s being a goof, Hajime always thinks about how beautiful, handsome, cute, and stunning he is. And sometimes, when Tooru isn’t being so damn picky about the angles, the background, or the pose, he says it out loud. And just that—a soft “you’re beautiful”—is enough to leave Oikawa speechless, his eyes wide, with a blush creeping from his neck all the way to his eyebrows.
(And if, while Tooru's babbling incoherently pretending the compliments don’t affect him, Hajime Airdrops all the photos to himself to choose a new wallpaper, well, he doesn’t say a word.)
...
did u know i love iwaoi?
u can find me on my ao3 🍉
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hella1975 · 3 months
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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gurorori · 1 year
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anyway.. yumemiru architecture & omnia vincit amor..
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snekdood · 3 months
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bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?
#personally I think me making fun of a douchey type of dude is less bad than drawing 'rape is fun' but yknow#ig I can just weigh the gravity of how bad each thing is accurately idk#vent#'yeah but you started to identify with the douche bag character !!' well- even before i realized I wanted to be him- the plot was#already that he was going to grow out of being a dick. him and mj were going to help eachother realize their flaws and become better#to eachother and everyone else. so by the time i DID realize I wanted to be a guy I already had in mind the mature version of him#floating around but I didn't really post about it bc I didn't want to spoil anything at the time#and it took me a LONG TIME to accept that I wanted to be snake. I was trans before that. and then when I was close to accepting it#I had that whole 'lsd' thing that made me slink back into my shell bc the people I was around made me feel like I would never be a guy#so instead I figured if I couldn't be snake then the next best thing was to be *with* him and started to self ship myself w him and he#evolved even more into an even more mature version of him that by the time I got out on the other side of feeling like I couldn't#be a guy I had this more serious and mature version of him in my mind and started to accept that I wanted to be him and basically was him#and just didn't know bc that version of snake was more like me than the one I made in 2013/14#in 2013/14 I was only ever considering my comic in the context of some sort of comedy and just wanted to make a douchey character#to make fun of bc I had a lot of douchey people in my life who I felt like needed to be knocked down a peg and I figured the best way#to do that was to make an example out of them via the old version of snake and have him be an overly confident asshole whos hubris#often gets himself humbled even if hes too prideful to accept or admit it#at this point in time I didn't really see much of myself in any of my ocs. maybe a lil bit in mj and (mostly)peaches bc I didn't know it wa#ok to id with a guy... but even when I did subconsciously id with him here n there...i didnt relate to snakes douchey-ness like at all.#sometimes I jokingly act like a douche but again its for the same reason that I made snake a douche back then in the first place-#to make fun of people like that- to hopefully show them how foolish they are by me mirroring them or. alternatively. making people#laugh at me acting that way because pretending to act like a douche is easier to enjoy and laugh at than dealing w an actual douche#i'd do it with my ex-bestfriend all the time- I made snake such a dick because we'd laugh about it together and bc we wanted to make#fun of the dicks around us who lacked any self awareness and if not that any actual fuck about how lame and shitty they come off#what can I say. it's fun to mock people sometimes.#when I actually started to accept it my first pic I drew of him being obviously trans was in 2016... soo a couple months before I remet#my abuser...#which honestly explains why that whole relationship was so rough on me. I had just finally accepted myself and then this person comes#along and tries to smear me and gaslight me into thinking im Horrible for who I am. like. hello???????#my first time fully being myself was with them and their friend group and they all accepted me until their cult leader told them not to
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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months
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I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.
I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.
This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.
Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.
But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.
Here’s who was on the dating roster:
• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.
• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.
• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.
And finally,
• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.
So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.
Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.
She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.
“Do you want it?”
“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”
But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.
So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.
I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.
I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!
What about the table?!
“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”
Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.
There on my doorstep. The table.
It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.
“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.
“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”
“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”
“Make me an offer.”
I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.
This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.
“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.
I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”
They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.
But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.
“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.
With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.
It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.
So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.
I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!
Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”
I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.
For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.
Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.
It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”
“Did you like it?”
“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”
My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.
Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.
“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”
“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.
So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.
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seumyo · 2 months
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BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 8:46
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“Do you have dimples?”
Bakugou doesn’t understand it himself, but you always find your way back to his house after your first visit—asking these out-of-the-blue questions that seem to have no end to them. It’s like a curse has befallen him, one that follows him wherever he goes.
For a moment, his eyes snap in your direction, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side, though his intense glare never once wavers. He didn’t know what the hell you were getting at, and he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to even want to know why you were asking about something so random.
Honestly, he should be used to it by now. But the thing is, he isn’t, because sooner or later you’ll be popping out of nowhere with another of your pointless questions.
“Hah?”
“I asked, do you have dimples?” you repeated.
His eye twitches at the repeated question, and as much as he’d like to give you a snappy remark to get you to stop, he can’t seem to come up with one. So, for the time being, he decides to humor you (and hope for the best that you drop it and move onto another topic).
“Why the hell are you asking?”
“Because Kaminari and I made a bet whether you have dimples or not. I went with yes, you do have them—even if it’s a singular dimple, but Kaminari says otherwise,” you explained, tapping your finger softly against the coffee table.
He scoffs at the childish reason. “And what makes you think I do have one?”
“A hunch,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “I also have just one.” You smiled, showing off your obvious singular dimple on your right cheek.
Bakugou glances at your dimple for a brief moment, eyes scanning over your face and the way that the dimple seemed to perfectly dip into the soft skin of your cheek. He almost found himself entranced for a moment, but his gaze returned to your eyes as he huffed out in mock disinterest.
He was about to dismiss your hunch—maybe just flat-out refuse to even show you—or come up with a lie. But Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t a liar.
“What happens if you win the bet?”
“I get 3000 yen,” you answered.
That’s a lot, he thought.
“I can pay you 3000 yen to shut the fuck up and stop with the useless questions.”
“There’s no fun in that!”
He scoffs again as he leans back against the sofa, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at your stupidity. He eyed you for a moment, his head tilting to the side as he sighed. “And what happens if you lose the bet?”
“He gets 3000 yen.”
Bakugou almost wanted to laugh at the fact that you were putting so much faith and money on a simple guess, but he managed to hold back on the amused expression and forced himself to remain calm and unbothered.
He leaned back a bit more, relaxing against the plush seats, letting out a mocking “tch” before he said, “What if I don’t show you if I have a damn dimple or not?”
“Please? Oh my god, Bakugou. Don’t do this to me now! Kaminari’s going to do a ‘victory dance’ when he finds out he won by default,” you half-whined.
He was about to give you his final choice when suddenly you started whining at him. Bakugou rose an eyebrow at you, lips quirking to a frown. As idiotic as it is to him, it looks like it was quite a serious matter to you.
“Tch. Whatever.”
You threw your hands to your face, groaning. “Pretty please, with a cherry on top? Spare me some sympathy—and be a team player for once!”
He found himself fighting a scowl at the way you acted. It was somewhat different this time around, and it was making him feel weird. Damn it. You’re a goddamn nuisance.
“Alright, fine. Just—” He motioned with his hand for you to come closer, an almost annoyed expression on his face. “If you tell anyone else about this other than Dunce Face, I’ll make sure you don’t ever see the next sunrise.”
“That doesn’t sound heroic at all—but yes, of course!” you cheered. “Just a little smile, and I shall confirm the goods.”
“Yeah, yeah. Shut up,” he muttered under his breath, already regretting giving into your stupid request but at the same time knowing that he would never let Kaminari win against you in all circumstances possible.
He let out a huff and hesitantly let the sides of his own lips quirk up into a half-assed attempt at a smile, but from the way it was so rigid, it looked more like a painful grimace.
You gave him a confused, somewhat flat look in return. “Dude, you look like you’re about to shit yourself—mmph! ” You didn’t get to finish what you were saying as Bakugou’s palms immediately squished your cheeks together to shut you up.
“Oh shut it, dipshit,” Bakugou grumbled, his grip on your cheeks tightening ever so slightly as he forced you to pout your lips. “You were asking for a smile. I give one, and you wanna give me smart ass remarks about it?”
“I didn’ even gwet toh shee anythin’! That’s how bwad ith was,” you muffled out through pouty lips.
“Are you gonna keep yapping and bitching about what you asked for, or are you gonna accept my goddamn smile?”
“Fine, fine!” you yielded, pushung his hands away from your face. “Do it one more time, and I’ll actually check this time.”
He narrowed his eyes, almost as if he were wondering if you were going to actually do as you said or go against it and keep making smart-ass comments. But as you yielded, he let out a sigh and decided he’d rather just get this done and over with. 
Less hassle for him.
He repeated his ‘smile’ from before, which looked more like a forced sneer, and he waited for your verdict. This was his last straw; he was going to murder you (not).
You had to hold back your laughter but failed to do so. “I really can’t— Bakugou, please! ” you mused, hitting his shoulder playfully. “Your ‘smile’ reminds me of that time Kirishima had to hold the biggest shit before the bell rings.”
That caught Bakugou off guard. He remembered the memory of Kirishima’s panicked expression and the weird waddle he’d walked around in as he desperately tried to find a bathroom made Bakugou snort under his breath.
“Oh my god, you’re laughing!” you gawked. “And have a dimple! Just a singular one, like mine! We’re matching.”
There it was. A singular dimple on his left cheek.
Bakugou tried to regain his lost composure and let out a scoff in an attempt to mask the slight tint of pink that reached the tip of his ears. He forced his hand onto your face, shoving you (lightly, if he may add) away from him to prevent you from getting another look at his dimple.
“It’s not a worldwide discovery, dumbass. I can fucking laugh if I want to, and it’s just a fucking indent on the cheek.”
“Still cute,” you shrugged, pulling up your phone to text Kaminari. “I need to let Kami know that I won the bet, then we celebrate with bubble tea— my treat!”
“Hey wait— You—“
He tried to protest against your sudden celebration, wanting to tell you that he wasn’t going to let you treat him for anything. This whole damn thing started because of a stupid bet, and he doesn’t really find joy in gaining something from it, but as you pulled out your phone and began to text Kaminari, he sighed and leaned back again with his arms crossed tight against his chest.
“Whatever. You’re fucking annoying.”
“Kay,” you answered. “Also, your actual smile is pretty charming, if you ask me. It’s different from the usual sneer you have on your face. That’s just my opinion, though.”
Bakugou’s face grew a bit warm at your unexpected compliment, but he quickly tried to hide it and turned his head to avert his gaze away from you. His mouth opened to reply with a snappy remark or something like that, but he found himself hesitating.
He eventually scoffed and muttered a low, “Tch. Stop spouting nonsense.”
“Bakugou Katsuki has a singular dimple,” you sing-songed aloud, though you knew that no one would hear since his parents weren’t even home.
Bakugou felt his eyes twitch at your teasing, resisting the urge to tell you off and even going as far as to just punch your shoulder lightly. “Shut the fuck up, dipshit.”
He later found out that there was no bet, and you had just made up the whole scenario to confirm your curiosity. That Bakugou Katsuki does have a dimple, a singular one at that.
Could you imagine how furious he was?
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sirfrogsworth · 1 month
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I think in this new age of A.I. the general public is going to need to increase their photography and lighting literacy. The response to this photo has just been a shit show.
There are people pointing out perfectly normal edge lighting and misunderstanding how reflections work.
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First the plane is parked at an angle. The tail is farther back than the nose. But also that is a curved surface and it tapers. It's reflecting the area to the right of the photo.
And the bottom of the plane is reflecting what is directly underneath. Which is the tarmac, not the crowd.
It should also be noted that photo was shot with a very telephoto lens and everything is super compressed. The crowd appears much closer to the airplane than they actually are.
But then someone who should have good understanding of lighting said this...
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And now I'm worried for her clients. Because that's very... wrong.
Well, wrong-ish.
First, let's try to understand why this photo is setting off some alarm bells.
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The crowd toward the rear is in shadow, but they are still very well exposed. But then there is also a bright light source creating a strong edge light on them. Looking at this photo with just the context of what is in it, there are some things that seem uncanny.
The information we do not have is the people in the shadow area are inside a very brightly lit airplane hangar.
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So they have artificial light blasting them from the top.
But that light is still much dimmer than the sunlit areas outside so they appear in shade. But we are used to shade being much darker than areas in direct sun. So the balance seems off in our brain. We expect the people to be darker because we don't have the context of the bright hangar lights above them.
But the other issue is that the photo was post processed. It wasn't manipulated. The pixels weren't changed. But the exposure balance was altered.
If I were to guess, the original photo looked more like this...
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But newer digital cameras can have 13 to 15 stops of dynamic range. And if you shoot in RAW, you can easily lift shadows and bring down highlights. You can balance the exposure so the dark parts aren't as dark and the bright parts aren't as bright. This photographer might have overdone it a bit in this case, but this is a fairly standard edit used to bring balance to photos.
And lastly, where does the edge light come from?
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Edge lighting or backlighting or rim lighting (all the same) should probably be called wrap-around lighting if you want to be more accurate.
It comes from a homogenous light source that is larger than the subject being lit. So with my knife photo, I placed it on a large LED panel light.
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The light source was bigger than the subject so it wrapped around the edges.
And I'm afraid the airplane is not nearly large enough to create a light source to wrap around everyone in the crowd. It isn't even reflecting direct sunlight. So I'm sorry to say that lighting designer was mostly mistaken despite the confidence.
The light source is... everything.
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That entire red area I highlighted is the light source.
As well as everything above and everything to the sides.
And the biggest aspect of that light source would be the sky above. I think people always forget the sky is a light source. If you are seeing blue, you are seeing light. And I guess the plane is included in that, but that entire highlighted red area is so bright, and so filled with sunlight bouncing around, that it creates basically a giant softbox. It becomes a huge single light source for the people in the hangar.
If you look at footage taken from way inside the hangar, you can see the camera adjusting exposure for the crowd inside, but look at what happens to the sunlit area outside.
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What does that look like?
A giant softbox.
A single homogenous light source blasting light inside the hangar.
The sun is so incredibly bright that even when it is not directly lighting something, the light just bouncing around outside is enough to overpower the very bright hangar lights.
So, what have we learned from this?
Perhaps people should hire me to be their lighting designer.
Though I'm sure she is actually very talented. She seems to work with stage lights and this is more physics and photography.
Phystography.
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