#some explanations are better than others ahhh

[ctrlhope]

The Pitfalls of Silk (m)

synopsis: The winter gods are out to get you. That could be the only possible explanation for the series of bad luck tumbling before you— tropical vacation cancelled, snow locking you inside. Hell, even your shovel broken in half has got to be the gods playing some sort of trick on you. Pulling you along, making decisions for you as they guide you along the red string of fate. Guide you towards the very spider that found his way into your basement. Allowing him to fall into your heart all the same. -> apart of the rest, relax, reserve series

p.jimin x f.reader

⋆𐙚┊: wc: 20.0k

⋆𐙚┊: genre: hybrid au, soft yandere, soulmate au, romance, fluff, smut, v light angst

⋆𐙚┊: content: spider hybrid!jimin (cobalt blue tarantula), human!reader, soft yandere jimin, dom!jimin, power imbalances, blood, blood kink, injury, mates / mating, stupid misunderstandings, reader is rlly bad at feelings, heat/rut cycles, jealousy, biting/marking, jimin has fangs, brat taming, light subspace, bondage, fingering, breeding / breeding kink, unprotected sex, cumplay, overstimulation, manipulation, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of venom, honestly rlly soft- jimin is just a little off his rocker, so many mentions of the word silk, jimin is soft for reader but also a little perverted freak <\3

⋆𐙚┊: notes: AHHH it’s finally here!!! I’ve had such a bad crush on spider jimin for such a long time. Creating his character over the years in my head— how exactly this type of hybrid would function was so fun for me. This fic (& the others that follow) has been spurred on by my special interest in arthropods so I hope you end up loving this jimin as much as I do <33 mwah I kiss u guys

18+ -> minors / blank blogs dni

The weather has grown cold, too harsh for anyone to live outside— survive. Burly temperatures tumbling through the air in icicles, the entire world painted in white.

While the city was still busy, your quaint neighbourhood had gone completely quiet. Everyone huddled inside, trying to keep warm while they sipped on cocoa. The worst blizzard in generations deciding to tumble through on the exact weekend you were meant to go out of town. Meant to be enjoying a tropical beach with the best of your friends!

But nooo, all of the planes had to stay grounded and you had to be stuck in your house with nothing but chilly embers decorating your fireplace.

You were pissed about it all, to say the least. Annoyed that your vacation had to be cancelled, annoyed at the fact you couldn’t stay warm in the slightest, annoyed that you had to be shovelling snow out of your driveway right now.

Well, attempting to shovel snow would be a better way to put it. In theory it seemed like the right thing to do– try and get your car out just in case, start to clear a path for when you’d finally be able to greet the outside world, triumph over whatever winter gods are trying to keep you locked in your home.

In reality, you could hardly move– three layers of pants, two coats keeping all of your joints locked down. God, and the snow. It was coming down way too hard, piling up faster than you could brush it away. Hurting your cheeks with the freezing temperatures, making your bones throb with want to go back inside.

It is safe to say that you did not succeed. That was an easy enough conclusion to come to with the two halves of your snow shovel in your hands. Eyes staring blankly at the object with utter… you don’t even know the word.

Cheeks flushed red with cold, head lifting to the sky as you blink. What the fuck! How shitty can your shovel be! What the fuck is wrong with the snow!

Okay, maybe you did buy it at the dollar store. But that isn’t the point! Where has quality gone in our nation! Caring about the consumer! Yeah, that was never there to begin with! But still! You like to think that there's a point in that somewhere!

The snow falling on your skin feels like the sky is laughing at you, mocking you. It probably is. Cancelling your trip, forcing you to stay at home into the lonely confines of your small neighbourhood.

Yeah, the world is out to get you, you’ve decided it.

A grumble leaves your throat in annoyance, quiet cusses leaving your lips as your legs try to waddle themselves inside. Layers of clothing restricting every movement you make, joints feeling stiff and bones feeling cold. You are no more than a penguin, are you?

“Stupid fuckin’ shovel, stupid fuckin’ snow…” You huff, slamming the thick oak door behind you. Hoping, in a way, that you could pretend none of the frost was there in the first place.

It’s not that you hate snow– of course not. You don’t like to hate much of anything. But when it’s this deep, this thick, you can’t help the sour mood you fall into. Can’t help the sickly feeling in your gut that it has somehow wronged you simply for existing.

Whatever, not that it matters much. You aren’t mother nature. You can’t change it or your now cancelled– most likely non-refundable plans.

What you can change? A nice warm pizza in your tummy.

You hum to yourself, tapping off your boots before ridding yourself of them entirely. Soon follows your jackets, puddles of water quickly forming on the floor where it falls. Snow melting much too fast now that it is in the warmth of your home.

You stare at it in spite, another way mother nature has wronged you today.

You know what? No, not your problem right now. That is a problem for you later today! The wood would be fine. And if it isn’t?

…

You groan, throwing your head back as you move to the bathroom. The battle of opposing forces inside of your head has won again– being responsible, doing the right thing.

Your hand snatches a towel, “Stupid shovel… stupid snow…” You huff, kneeling on the ground to wipe away the liquid that pooled.

You hang the towel back in the bathroom for it to dry before finally making your way to the kitchen. To finally make the frozen pizza you want– no deserve! Yeah, you’ve had a hard day today, being an adult is too hard sometimes. You deserve a little treat don't you?

Feet scuffling against the floor, fluffy socks dragging along the surface allowing you to quickly slip against the tiled floor. Your hips sway, a quiet hum leaving your lips as your hands move diligently, efficiently. Placing the pizza in the oven, setting the timer, flipping the switch on on the kettle.

Everything happens with practised ease. With movements that leave no room for error. Careful, efficient, the way your parents always taught you. The right way.

If you do everything correctly, things will never go wrong. You’ll never have to worry. When everything is in your control, everything is perfect and content.

It’s too bad the right way never accounts for things out of your control. When the world causes you to tense and get annoyed– when it doesn’t behave the way it's supposed to, like you want it to. Just like stupid shovels and a winter storm no one predicted.

But hey, at least you still have power. Your backup generator is there if you need it. Can still watch your dramas and eat warm food. Keep yourself sane while the insane persits just outside of your door.

Lonely, lonely, lonely winter storm~ whatever shall you do~

Your head begins to sing to itself while you wait. Maybe you already were going insa–

Bang.

What the fuck was that?

Your eyes instantly dart to the basement door wide with fear– the source of the sound.

A crash, a quiet cry, a scurry all sound in quick succession. Too loud to miss. Too loud to ignore. Too distinct to place on anything else.

You know winter noises. The crash of shutters against the window, the influx of snow on glass. The beating of hail against the roof or the creaking of pipes chilled from the cold. The noises you just heard? None of the above. They couldn’t possibly be. They weren’t. They were too… too…

Human.

Shit, shit. Is someone in your basement?! Oh god, oh fuck.

The room, it freezes over.

Your pulse starts to race– hairs raise, stand on end. Breath filtering through your nose as you start to panic. Fingers grip the countertop as you try to ground yourself. Try to figure out a way to escape this.

If horror movies have taught you anything– it’s how to run. Grab everything you can, high tail it out before you become victim to the unknown lurking just below the surface of your floorboards. Before you can be possessed or worse, chased down by some mass murdering clown.

That would be the smart thing to do– the wise thing. To get out of your house as quickly as possible, call the police to investigate it for you before you have to become the ‘final girl’ of a movie franchise of your own.

But the storm, the storm would never allow for the right thing.

The police would never make it in time, the roads far too hazardous to truly reach you. If they did, you would already have frostbite from the cold outside by the time they made it. You might be worse off than before–

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. The reasoning formulated in your head as you grab a broom from the closet, slowly make your way to the basement door. Completely ignoring the nagging feeling in your gut, the one that tells you that you actually want to travel down the stairs. A string tugging you along a path predetermined, forcing you to forego anything you had thought before.

No, your line of reasoning had to be the object pulling you down those stairs, creaking with every slow, nagging step that you take. It could never be curiosity, a want to understand the unknown guide leading you astray from the dirt road you’ve taken time and time again.

The right road that would lead to the right solution is all but forgotten in this moment. Only adrenaline spurring you on, fingers clenching and unclenching around the broom handle in your grip. Fingers tied so tight around the metal that your knuckles may as well be white.

You're terrified– scared out of your mind. The only noise passing through the drums of your ears is your own pulse, the accelerated beat of your heart as you try to clear the fog that dances over your brain. Fear must be clouding your judgement, making you follow it blindly into the light; well, dark.

Your breath leaps from your chest in short pants, eyes haphazardly harding around your form as you make it to the bottom of the stairs. Something is keeping your legs moving when all your brain wants to do is turn back and run. Call the authorities like you should be doing instead of risking everything to satiate the incessant need pulling at the back of your skull. Acting on instincts alone, allowing the string of fate to tug you around the corner. The urge to investigate is stronger than anything you had ever felt before. Anything you’ve ever wanted to feel before.

He sees you before you see him.

“P-please..” The quiet, almost non-existent voice sends a chill down your spine. One you were not expecting in the slightest.

Terrified, panicked. Shaking like a leaf, eyes welled with tears. It’s almost like he knew you were coming down all along, just… didn’t know what to do about it. Too scared to move, too scared to hide. Too scared to do anything but sit there and wait.

Just as petrified as you.

Nothing about the scene before you is making much sense at all. Not to you, at least. Why is he so scared? Why is he in your home? Why isn’t he doing anything but sitting there with pleading, helpless eyes? You try to take everything in, try to fit the pieces of the picture together.

Basement window opened slightly, just enough to allow the man— was he a man? To climb inside. Pretty blonde hair completely dishevelled on his head, grime coating what you know would be such pretty locks. Eyes with double pupils brimmed with tears threatening to spill at any second. Pink plush lips quivering with worry, fangs biting into them so hard you fear they may bleed. No, they are bleeding.

He is definitely not a man. Nor is he a beast. An intoxicating swirl of the two combined into a species of hybrid you’ve never seen before.

The first thought in your head is one it shouldn’t be. One that makes your heart stop for entirely different reasons than before. Makes you drop the broom in your hands, allowing it to fall to the ground with a clatter. Defences dropped completely in the face of the stranger before you.

He only flinches at the noise, blood covered hands reaching in panic to cover his all too sensitive ears.

Any worries have left you– something seeded deep within your soul tells you he isn’t a threat in the slightest. Not to you, at least. Never to you. Maybe it is the same string as before pulling you along. Pulling you to what destiny has provided.

He is absolutely gorgeous. Even with the grime and his pale complexion from the cold you can tell that easily. He might just be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, and you find lost in yourself what to do about it.

What is anyone meant to do when a drop dead gorgeous hybrid enters their home in the middle of a blizzard? Just as scared as you were moments before? Looking like he might freeze to death if you don’t–

Holy shit he must be frozen solid.

It’s only then that you come to your senses, your eyes racking over him once more as you take in all of him for more than just the beauty he brings.

His clothes are thin– far too thin for this weather at least. Tattered on the edges, few stains spotting the fabric, though its clear effort was spent trying to get them out. Your mind wants to wonder why he would worry about that, worry about making himself appear presentable, but raking your vision down you know there is no time for it. Not with the blood on his palms or the red of his flesh.

Your body moves quicker than your brain can think, crouching down in front of him. Noticing the way he flinches once more, the fear in his eyes more palpable, hurting worse than a gunshot wound.

The constriction of your chest is dumb, or at least it should be. Feels almost benign, unfounded. You just met him, you're scaring him, but for an unexplainable reason you wish you could take all of his worry away just for that moment. Make him feel a little better, a little warm. A little safe.

“It’s okay… it’s okay…” Your voice mumbles, trying to soothe him or yourself, you’re not entirely sure.

“I-I’m sorry… pl-please don’t.. It’s just so cold… Please…” He begs, though neither of you are sure what for. Not to hurt him, not to send him back outside. All you know is the tears that now flow from his eyes, cresting along his cheeks, dripping to the floor.

“Not going anywhere…” You hope your voice sounds stronger than you feel, hope he can’t hear the way the strings of your heart break, hope he hears how much you care in your tone all along, “Trust me a little okay…?”

You know your words mean nothing, that it might have been an impossible task for him to do so. But you had to try. Had to hope.

It should be hard for you to trust him too, it should be hard to rectify your fear in the face of the one who had caused it. It isn’t the right thing– none of this is the right thing, but it all just comes too easily. Compassion, caring takes over the anxiety too easily. Too brilliantly to do anything else other than care for this hybrid that has wound up at your door.

He was just a scared hybrid doing whatever he needed to to survive. Terrified out of his mind that he would freeze or starve out there– probably had no burrow or… you’re not sure, honestly, what his home might be like. But no home nevertheless. You could never just send another person out there to die.

He stiffens as you reach out for him, gently take his hands in your own. They feel like ice, frozen solid. You don't want to acknowledge what could have happened to them if he was out there any longer.

Without thinking you raise them to your lips, blowing on them as best you can. Trying to do anything to get the blood flowing again before you take him upstairs. Warm him up properly. Make him feel like more than a snowman once again.

You don’t notice the way his form completely loses all stress as you touch him for the first time, speak to him the first time. He feels transfixed on your voice– it had to be too sweet to be real. But you were too focused on your mission. Too focused on making sure the man who has broken into your home is okay to notice the way his lips part slightly at your tone.

You don’t notice the way his breath hitches, the way all of his hair stands on edge as a current runs through his body, breathing life into every pore he possesses. Nor the way his eyes widen, losing their will to cry as he stares at you.

Don’t notice the recognition on his face.

You don’t notice a lot of things he does that day. Too focused on getting him into a warm shower– one he was very confused by, you might add. Too focused on getting a warm meal in his belly. Too focused on getting him in nice, clean clothes. A set that will properly keep him warm.

You could worry about other things later. But this felt right. This felt like something you were always meant to do. Or maybe that was just the size of your heart talking– you could never be too sure. But you liked to think it was the former. Liked to hope that Jimin, who you later learned was a spider hybrid, was always meant to come tumbling through your window, into your life for good.

The days that follow are easy– falling into a rhythm with him, taking care of him is just too simple. As basic as breathing, maybe.

Though, it hasn’t exactly been hard with how much he sleeps. How deep he’s nestled in your bed, blankets piled on top of him to drown out any chills that may attempt to slip into his bones. It’s almost like hibernation– if you could describe it. Re-building his energy, making himself feel strong again before he faces the world.

You can’t blame him, honestly. Not after everything he’s been through. Only god knows how long he had been out there. How long he had to brave the snowstorm, the cold weather that previewed it as well. You would probably do the same thing. Hide yourself from everything that hurt you.

Most days you wish you could be doing the exact same thing as him. Hide under a pile of blankets and forget the rest of the world exists. But the voice of your parents would always nag you out of it, force you to be human with the rest of society because it's the right thing.

You humph, gently placing a plate of food on the bedside table. Let him occupy your room for as long as he needs, preparing meals for him even though he never touches a bit of it. It’s the least you can do with his condition.

You don’t think you’ve ever wanted to stop someone's pain so badly. You hope you can by just doing small things like this. You sigh, heading for the door once again. Another day on the couch.

“Human…?” His voice is quiet, almost non-existent as he calls for you. Cracking slightly, the first time he's spoken in days.

You quickly turn to face him and almost want to fall to your knees at the sight. Fluffy blonde hair peeking from just below the covers, doll eyes peering at you while the rest of him stays hidden beneath the surface. Does he know how destructive he is?

Wait, no. Now isn’t the time to be thinking about this. He’s letting his defences down, actually talking to you. Stop it.

“Hmm?” You gently call back, glued to your spot in the doorway. You don’t know what he would do if you moved, how startled he may be because of it. You want to talk to him– to find answers.

“What time is it…?” He slowly asks, pacing his question. You notice a slight lisp behind his words– how much of an effort he puts to cover it up.

“Mmm.. about 1? I made myself some lunch so I was just stopping by.” You explain, trying to justify your presence in the room.

“Oh.” He looks beneath the blankets, eyes darting around the room, “Okay. Thank you.”

It seems neither of you are great conversationalists, awkward air passing between the space left between your bodies. You don’t blame him. You don’t know what you would be thinking, feeling if you were in the same place as him. If you didn’t really know what your fate was going to be.

“How are you feeling?” You ask quietly, playing with your fingers to distract from the nerves that you feel. As much as you want to jump, pin him down and ask every single thing your heart begs for, you know that isn't the right thing to do. You know you should be slow, careful with this. At least, that's what the articles online have told you.

“Better…” His voice comes out smoother this time, finally coming out of sleep as he sits up in the bed. Gently taking the plate into his lap, scrunching his nose. “It’s not cold in here like out there.”

You can’t help but smile to yourself. He seems so relaxed, so at ease. Not scared in the slightest of you or what you may do. You forget all about the fact that you should probably be scared of him too.

“Not really,” You smile gently, eyes glancing at the window as he starts to eat, “I was really worried about you, scared me bad.”

You don’t see the flush that covers his cheeks.

“I-I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to… your window was the first one I could get through and I knew I couldn’t take the storm anymore so I–”

“Hey, It’s fine.” You turn your attention back to him, “I’m just glad you’re okay, yeah? It must’ve been terrifying out there.”

“It was.” He doesn’t hesitate in answering in the slightest, eyes serious as they focus on you. They’re beautiful, really. His eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

He shakes his head, “Not your fault human, I left the reserve. My fault.” He tells you in earnest, wanting you to believe it with every piece of your soul that you could never do anything to hurt him, “Come sit?”

The question is quiet, but you oblige nonetheless. Legs moving you slowly, perching at the end of the bed to face him. Kicking your legs slightly as you stare at the pattern of your sweats.

“The reserve?” You ask, turning slightly to face him. His face is suddenly smiling, nodding at your question. He must like the place a lot, see it as home for him to become so excited.

“Yeah! Where I live,” He explains, continuing to shovel food into his mouth as he speaks, “They say humans can't hurt you there, you get to hunt like in the wild too.”

He hums, content in talking about the one place he has ever found comfort in, found friends in. You can’t help but smile as he speaks, too.

“Yeah? It sounds really nice.” He’s nodding his head once again, as quickly as he can.

“There are lots of other arthropods to play with there. Lot’s of food. Sometimes the humans that visit will give you some too, but they’re normally scared of me.” He suddenly looks serious, eyes coming to meet yours once again, “You’re not scared of me, right?”

You jerk your head back, brows furrowing together in confusion. How could someone be scared of someone like Jimin? You’ve only known him for a matter of days and you doubt that you could ever be.

“Of course not.” You tell him, gently reaching a hand over to place on his knee. He doesn’t flinch away like you expect him to. “You just needed some help, we all need help sometimes.”

He smiles, the serious demeanour retracting from his face in an instant. Back to smiling down at his food happily. The silence doesn’t feel as awkward anymore, at least you don't think it does. It makes you happy, stretching on as he continues to eat like a man starved. He probably is, days of not eating and only sleeping.

“Why did you leave it?” You tilt your head, staring out the window once more. Few snowflakes trickle against the blue sky, “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I figure if we’re going to be together through the storm–”

“You’re not gonna kick me out?” His face is awestruck, fork dropping to the plate in surprise. What is he talking about? Kick him out? In this weather?

You quickly shake your head, hand slowly pulling itself back from your knee. He whines in protest, quickly trying to force himself back under your heat. The touch of your hand warmed him up more than anything else in this room– more than the blankets, more than the heater or the warm towels.

His hand tangles itself with your own, pulls you back to his covered knee. Keeps your hand in place with his own while he uses the other to eat. Good. This is better. He likes it when you touch him. The way your small hand feels wrapped in his own.

Makes the tips of his fingers tingle, warmth spread throughout his skin. This is right. This is good.

“Why would I kick you out?” You ask in disbelief, either unnoticing or uncaring to the way he holds your hand– he’s unsure. Not that it matters much! “It’s too cold for anyone out there. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

He smiles, the pit of his stomach only warming more at your words, “Good.”

“We have to wait for the snow to melt to drive you ba–” He cuts you off once again, not wanting to think about going back. At least not without you.

“My friend Taehyung leaves a lot,” He begins to explain, fingers squeezing your own as his palm lays heavy against the back of your hand, “He always talks about how fun it is. All the cool things he gets to see, you know?”

He places his plate to the side while he talks, licking one of his fangs gently. You don’t want to think about how handsome he looks while he does such an action.

“So I wanted to try it out, but we’re not really supposed to leave, you know? ‘Cause then we’re not protected.” You nod along, “And I don’t really have wings to fly out so… I had to wait until they weren’t really paying attention.”

“And that just happened to line up right before the snowstorm was supposed to hit.” You finish for him and he nods, looking down at his lap, “That has gotta be such shitty luck, Jimin. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not, you just wanted to go out and experience new things and you almost ended up dead.” You frown at him, trying to get the man to understand the gravity of what may have happened. He simply shakes his head, plush lips tilted into a small smile just for you.

“I said it’s okay.” He tries to make you believe it, leaning closer. Feeling nothing like the stranger he was only days before. “I got to meet you, so it was all worth it.”

Mate. Mate. Mate.

Jimin has a mate that he’s going to be with someday. Someone he’s going to fall in love with. Someone he’s meant to be with, be happy with for the rest of his life. Someone that isn’t you. You really need to accept that and move on from this stupid fucking crush you’ve developed. One that will amount to nothing but heartbreak.

All hybrids have them– Jimin is not excluded from that. You know it’s true. Know it’s so true that you can hardly breathe but he just makes it so easy, too fucking easy to fall for him.

He takes care of the house, cleans it for you whenever there is a mess. Does the dishes after dinner. Takes out the trash. Tells the spiders in the yard not to mess with you– okay, you’re not entirely sure he does that last one. But he is adamant he can speak to them, and who are you to rain on his little spidey parade.

As the seasons change and the months pass, he only makes it easier and easier. Fitting into your life like he was the only piece missing. Filling in all of the bits and pieces you never knew you needed, wrapping silk around your heart and pulling it tight before you could ever think about letting him go.

Even as the months heat and his deep blue roots grow out from his bleached hair, he has no desire to the place he once called home. The reserve quickly pushed aside every time you try to bring it up. Saying he likes it better here, that this is now his home.

To be honest, nothing makes you more happy. Nothing in the world could possibly make you feel better than Jimin. His little webs he places in the corners, the soft way he clings to you when he becomes needy, the way he likes to show you any bugs he catches before he eats them. You’re not sure you could continue in your life without it.

Yet still, still. You’re not sure if this is right. The right thing, the right way to go about it all.

You often fear that you’re keeping him from what he really wants, if he actually wants to go back but feels indebted to you in some way. If that’s the only reason he actually sticks around.

You worry you’re being selfish in that regard. And then once again you find yourself spiralling into the void of questions you could never have answered. Feelings that will always be unaccounted for because Jimin has a mate.

Or at least, will have one. Someday. And you’re not sure if you could handle that day coming. Not in the warm heat of spring, flowers blooming alongside feelings for an arachnid that has entered your life.

One that has no intention of leaving your side anytime soon, if he has anything to say about it.

But nothing, nothing in the world could prepare you for this. What could prepare the thrum of your heart or the butterflies in your tummy? You never expected him to hold you this close, keep your body pressed against his own in the small space of the coat closet. Keep his face tucked away in your neck, whining in pain at something you could never think to discern.

So quickly you were pulled away, without a second to waste you were dragged onto his lap. One second kicking off your shoes, covered in mud from gardening, the next a hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you into the dark confines. Only Jimin there to cover up your scream, lips delicately pressed to your ear uttering a quiet please. Voiced laced with a whine so pained you couldn’t help but join him without a second to spare.

A thought to think– a debate on whether this is right to do or not, for yourself and your own heart.

“Min? Min, what’s wrong?” It’s the only thing you can think to ask, pulling him away from your neck, making his head face your own. Hands gently cupping either cheek as your eyes attempt to make out the features of his face.

It’s too dark, you can’t see anything. The only answer he gives is in the form of a pained groan, not even his eyes reaching you through the darkness. You start to panic, feel the nerves along your spine light up in trepidation.

He’s hurt. He has to be. What happened? Is he okay? He’s never acted like this before. Not with you. Never before has he seemed so hurt, so dishevelled save for the night you first met him.

Just before this the two of you were gardening, mid-morning sun shining bright overhead. A light breeze passing through the trees keeping the two of you cool. That was it! He only went inside a few minutes before you, a few minutes alone and he was already hurt this bad.

Oh god, you never want him to hurt. To be in pain. It hurts your heart just as bad as it hurts him, if not worse.

You’ve fallen a lot farther than you thought.

“Min, let me just turn on the lights okay? Let me see what’s wrong.” You try to coax him, try to kneel from his lap to reach the string above you. Panic flooding through you as he keeps you snug, keeps you from helping him.

You stop your struggle, veins running cold as he lets out a sharp, violent hiss. A sound he’s never made before, never dare uttered towards you– around you in general. It leaves you nervous, scared for entirely different reasons than before.

But one thing is clear from the way his fingers dig into the skin of your wrist almost painfully. The same wrist that was reaching for the string. He doesn’t want you to turn on the light.

“Okay…okay I won’t…” You tell the arachnid, slowly lowering yourself back onto his lap. Letting go of the struggle, letting go of the resistance. It isn’t what he needs right now, isn’t what he wants.

His grip loosens, arms returning to their place around your waist. Holding you close. Keeping you in his arms. His face nuzzles back into your neck, inhaling deeply with every breath he takes. Smelling you. Imprinting the memory of it in his brain.

“What if I use my flashlight…? Would that be okay?” Once again, the response is a much short, quieter hiss. A lot less defensive, angry than the first. Just a sign of dismissal.

“Okay…” You say quietly, bringing one arm behind him to gently run through his hair. Scratching his scalp in a way that always has him preening, “Can you please tell me what's wrong? So I can help…? Please…”

Your voice is quiet, almost a beg as you ask him. He squeezes your body tighter in response. Would’ve basked in the tone you gave him if not for the pounding behind his eyelids. Still, he knows if he’s going to get you to stay, he has to talk. No matter how much it hurts.

A whine leaves his lips, nose running along the column of your neck as he tries to scent you, “Hurts.”

He answered, his voice shaky and quiet, but it gives you nothing.

“I know Min, I know…” You hush quietly, trying to consol something that you do not have the answer to. Your other hand slowly starts to soothe up and down his back, trying to relax the poor boy enough to speak.

“The light. Hurt eyes. Head Hurts.” He gruffs out, burying his face into your skin to block out any other source that he could.

Your lips part in a soft ‘o’ as the picture becomes clear to you. Staying outside too long, helping you in the garden had come at a cost to the poor spider in the form of a splitting headache.

How could you have been so dumb to let him help you? The articles you’ve read, the pieces you’ve tried to put together to understand the man in your life– they told you as much. How delicate some species' eyes could be but… Jimin never seemed to have that issue before. Never mentioned it, anyway. He doesn’t mention a lot about himself.

You frown.

“Min, I’m so sorry…”

He only grumbles in reply, blunt nails digging into the back of your shirt to keep himself grounded. To keep his head from pounding any louder.

“Let me– Let me go get you some Ibuprofen, yeah?” You hope the sound of your voice isn’t making everything worse. If it does, he doesn’t say anything, only shaking his head, burrowing it further under your hair.

“Just… stay.” He sighs in defeat, shoulders relaxing as he holds you close. He doesn’t need medicine. He doesn’t need anything else. He just needs you. Why can’t you understand that?

“I’ll–” You breathe, trying to force the flush of your cheeks to disappear. He can see in the dark, you know that much. You wouldn’t want him seeing this. The effect he has over you. Doesn’t he know how dangerous he is?

“I’ll stay.”You sigh in defeat, unaware to the pride that blooms in his chest at the battle won. The quiet chirp from his throat that he has you here, with him. Where you’re meant to be.

Hours pass just like that, just the two of you wrapped in each other's arms. No words spoken but quiet requests to know the other is okay. That the other is safe. Even as your muscles begin to cramp, bones start to become sore you don’t dare to move. Don’t dare to do a thing when you are the only one that matters to him right now.

Jimin makes it so easy to pretend.

Especially as his migraine begins to lift, as the conversation between two souls becomes more frequent. As he moves your body to the side so your head can rest against his chest. As his fingers smoothe over the skin of your thigh, rubbing gentle, comforting circles into your flesh.

“And then Namjoon, you know how bad a flyer he is, ran straight into the director of the park. Made her spill her whole coffee all over.” He smiles to himself as he tells the story of the bee hybrid, eyes heavy as he looks down at your form. So cute and small, “and you know what he said?”

You shake your head, “what?”

“‘You need some honey?’” He recites, dipping his voice in a deeper octave to mimic what you can only assume to be Namjoon’s. His voice falling into quiet giggles, you quickly follow suit. Laughing at stories of friends, feeling at home in the dark closet.

You don’t care how long the two of you have been in there. Only that he isn’t in pain anymore.

“I’m glad you’re okay now.” You tell him, eyes feeling heavy, the soothing tremor of his voice vibrating in his chest making your head start to fog. Inklings of sleep slipping into your frame. Head lulling back against him, looking up at him with sleepy eyes.

He nods, his throat constricting at just how perfect you look there, fingers teetering on the brink of digging into your skin once more. “Feeling a lot better… my vision is still a little spotty but it's okay.”

You pout. He has to hold back a coo. Too cute. Do you even know how cute you are when you get like this? Probably not.

“No, it’s not okay. I should have known. Told you to go back inside so you don’t get hurt. I don’t like it when you get hurt.”

His heart pounds once, twice before he releases a shaky exhale. Do you know what you do to him when you talk like that? When you show him just how much you care?

The level of restraint he has, it has to be impressive. If he was Taehyung, he would have taken you right there. Wrapped your arms in webs so you couldn’t move. Mate you without a second thought.

Seriously, what did you think you were doing? Talking to him like that? Making him feel like he’s going insane, a few short strings from breaking free and just taking you to his nest. Keeping you there.

You can’t say things like that to him. Not with how innocent you look, with how terribly he already wants you.

A harsh breath comes out of his nose as he forces the thoughts away. He’s not Taehyung. He’s not going to take you for his own selfish desires alone. No, he’s going to keep lulling you into his web like he knows you want. Knows you need. Keep being a good little spider for you.

“I should have told you.” He says quietly, lips coming down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, “Couldn’t have known my species is sensitive like that.”

You hum in quiet annoyance, “Still… read online about some glasses that can help some insects manage light… should have bought them.”

A courting gift? No no, you don’t know what that is. No matter what his spider screams he knows that isn’t true.

He sighs, he needs a distraction. Something to calm the voice in his head screaming at him to kiss you.

Your leg kicks out gently as he starts, feeling like nothing but a feather tickling across your skin. Gentle silks laying across the surface from his wrists, spinnerets hard at work to produce the webbing he places on your thigh.

He huffs quietly, a smirk of a laugh coming out as he moves your leg back, “Tickles?” He asks, an amused lilt present in his voice. Oh god, he’s going to start teasing you again. He loves teasing you.

“What are you doing?” You ask quietly, eyes glancing down to where his fingers move expertly. Thread after thread moving through his fingers, decorating your skin as he draws pictures. Paints flowers, sunsets, anything he can think of really across the canvas of your thigh.

“Just drawing… calms me down.” Marking you, claiming you. Showing every other arthropod that this one is his, this one is Jimins’. Well, at least for the next 3 days when the stick wears off. “Do you want me to stop?”

A tingle runs through your spine as he works, eyes not able to leave his hands for even a second. Your stomach swarms with what has to be a hive of bees, your core bubbling with something you don’t want to describe or think about.

You just hope he can’t smell you. Can’t hear the race of your heart, the increase in breath. The flush on your cheeks that travels all the way to your ears.

He can.

“N-no… It’s okay. I want you to feel better so… do what you need to do.” You mumble, trying to get your feelings to calm down before you fully lose it.

You have to buy those glasses.

Being a spider is just too difficult!

At least that’s what Jimin has told you time and time again over the past 8 months you’ve spent with him. Cold, icy months blossoming into the summer heat with him by your side. With him making residence in your home, cementing his place in your life without any regards for going back to his original home.

It’s too hard for him out there anyway! People at the park think you’re scary so they won’t give you any snacks, security removes your webs when they become too prominent around the landscape. Something about having to “give other spiders a chance” and them “taking up too much space.”

Can you believe them?! All the time and effort he put into his pretty webs, gone in a flash! The strain the sun caused his eyes, the pounding headaches he endured stringing up pieces of silk along the trees, creating a beautiful orchestra of white to claim his territory.

Thank god he doesn’t have to deal with that anymore, at least. Ever since you bought him those sunglasses, making webs outside has never been easier. Catching prey so much easier than ever before.

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the sight of him eating the bugs he catches, but who are you to yuck his yum? You know all of the things he’s had to endure as a spider. Everything he’s convinced the world hates him for simply based on his breed alone. The least you can do is show kindness around his diet.

That’s how you end up rubbing his back in soothing circles time and time again, fangs piercing a stuffed animal or piece of fruit– anything he can get his hands on really, as he whines, flinches as he spits out all of his venom.

His venom is one of the worst things he’s had to deal with, you’ve learned. It builds up behind his teeth, waiting to be used on a waiting victim when there is no such thing. No exit point for the liquid to flow.

His fangs begin to ache, begging to pierce something just to release all of the pent up tension in his gums. It hurts too bad, too much to just keep it inside. So once a month, you find yourself in the same position, trying to help him relieve the aggression with soothing, gentle words as he spits the venom out in a way you can only imagine is unsatisfying. Leaving his fangs sensitive and achy for days to come.

In general, his fangs seem to be a point of special contention within the hybrid. They’re too pointy, cause too many issues. The extended canines digging into his plush lower lip just a little too hard making every movement just a little too uncomfortable. God, and he has to worry about brushing them to perfection– keep them pretty for his mate.

At least, that’s what he tells you.

The rest of the world hurts him. You don’t.

Today especially. At least that's what you can assume by the stretch of his arms, the whine bubbling from the back of his throat. His arms reaching for your form, beckoning you, calling you to join him on the couch. All worked up, acting like a wounded puppy that needs nursing just to get your attention.

It always works. Always will.

Some would say he’s become more pushy— more desperate for your attention, forcing it from your grasp without realizing it yourself. That’s what your friends have told you. How easily you fit into the palm of his hand with no more than a simple gesture coaxing you forward into his sweet embrace, never noticing the glares he sends others who enter your home.

No, you would deny all of it. Listen when he tells you that you don’t need your friends anyway. It just feels so good to be needed by him, wanted by him in a way you can never have him. In whatever way he’s willing to give.

r weakness than ever before. No matter how much you’ve tried to avoid it, how much you’ve tried to do the right thing and shove the stupid, pesky feelings down, he’s managed to twist himself into the confines of your heart. Filling a deep hole inside with his pretty silks and crooked little teeth. Takes up a lot more space then you’d ever be willing to admit. Not to him, anyway. Not when he could find his mate any day now.

You’ve been thinking about it more and more lately– the prospect of his mate. It’s difficult not to when he treats you so kindly. When he creeps in your bed at night to cold you, when he reaches out for your comfort alone. When he graces your neck with his fangs his lips–

You drop the dishes back in the sink, shoving your thoughts back into the deep dark recesses of your mind. Maybe if you can be his comfort for now, that will be enough. Even if it isn’t right.

Maybe that’s just how far you’ve fallen, how much he’s tangled you in his embrace. Not that it matters much, you smile all the same. Abandoning your task on only his third whine and fourth dramatic roll of the night. Giving in is so easy when it’s him.

But! It’s a new record for how long you’ve held out! Even got two stomps out of him. You should be proud of yourself.

Maybe you are, though it's for different reasons entirely as Jimin grabs at your wrists, pulling you down beside him. Nudging his face into the crook of your neck with a quiet, pained whine.

You like to ignore those other reasons. They’ll only hurt more if you face them head on. But it's hard to, so hard when he’s this close. When he’s holding you like you may just be the very thing from shattering his world apart.

Or maybe you’re over thinking things.

Yeah. It’s probably that.

“Y/n…” You feel his lips ghost your neck as he whines, wiggling slightly in discomfort.

His duality is always impressive, has been making your brain go a little haywire since he first moved in, since he became more comfortable in your presence. Letting you see him for what he really is. Always playing so cute, so pliant when he needs something– attention, food, for you to just give in and give him what he wants.

Other times he acts as if he could be the reincarnation of Arachne herself. Beautiful, deceptive. Terrifyingly aware of how attractive he is to the human eye. You think he does it on purpose. Likes to see your head spin as you try to keep up with which apparition of Jimin you will experience that day.

He doesn’t know how dangerous it can be, especially for you. How easy it can be to believe that it's real and not just the flirt of his personality. At least you have cute Jimin for now. It’s a little easier to manage.

“You okay Minnie? Something happen?” Your arm reaches up for where he clings to it, fingers gently petting through his fluffy blonde hair. The action seems to soothe him, make him almost pur from the feeling of your fingers alone. Make him feel the slightest bit better from whatever might be irritating him.

He forces his wrists onto your lap, nuzzles his face further into your neck. Inhale all the scents you have to offer. Let you see the issue of spiders.

The tiny holes of his spinnerets come into view, red and inflamed. Shit. They have to be hurting. The skin jutting out slightly more than it should be. Pretty strings of silk hanging in a messy manner. Clogged glands always hurt. Always make for issues.

You frown at the sight, delicately taking his wrist into your hand, looking at it closer. No, not too bad you have to take him to the doctor… you can handle it fine. But it won’t feel good, it never does. Dummy must’ve gotten too excited while webbing up the basement again, got his poor spinnerets working too hard. Overproducing silk to the point it has nowhere to go.

“Min!” You whine, already grabbing a pair of tweezers from the side-table– you’ve learned it’s always good to have a pair on-hand. “I told you that you gotta be more careful!”

“I know!” He hisses almost pathetically, “Just got ahead of myself!”

His voice is no more than a grumble, turning his head away from you yet not pulling away in the slightest. Pretending he hates when you scold him, when you show just how much you care about him.

You pretend it isn’t cute in much the same way.

“Always end up getting ahead of yourself,” You sigh dramatically, acting as if having to take care of the arachnid bothers you more than it actually does. Truth be told, you don’t care in the slightest. Who knows, maybe it even makes you preen in delight.

Feeling wanted as your fingers try to be as gentle as possible while removing the silk. Pulling out the little pieces strand by strand, work out the knot it's made under the skin to try and bring him some relief.

Though, no matter how careful you may be, he still flinches in pain all the same. Trying to cover it up like it was nothing, like every poke and prod doesn’t hurt. Like he can be tough under your gentle hands and pained gaze. He knows it has to be done and no matter how much you hate to see him in pain, you do too.

The dull ache will grow worse and worse, could even turn into an infection if you don't handle it as fast as possible. Worst case? He may have to have his spinnerets removed completely. A fate that feels worse than death to a spider hybrid– or so you’ve read at least.

Soon after he came into your life you did everything in your power to learn as much about his species as possible. Scoured webpage upon webpage, blog post on blog post, youtube video after youtube video. Even went down the sticky threads of a reddit rabbithole to try and learn everything about him.

The only thing you found: how horrible arthropod hybrids are treated in your society. Either sold at auction for absurd prices or cast aside completely depending on how “inhuman” they look. How they are used as tools to show wealth or are discarded from the rest of the world completely. The notion alone had pissed you off to no end.

Jimin was a member of the latter group– or at least that’s what you assumed. From behind no one would be able to tell he was any less than human. His lack of multiple limbs or fluttering wings left him to the devices of the reserve. Probably cast aside, dropped off by the people that raised him for not providing anything that went along with their definition of ‘value’.

Your eyes pinch into a quiet glare. They’re just fucking stupid. Anyone could see that Jimin is perfect. Anyone could see that he did not deserve the treatment he's received, nor deserved to be in the state he was in when you first found him.

And while you’re glad he didn’t end up with anyone else, still didn’t end up in an auction house like many others had, you hate them for thinking they could define his value. That they could define him for more than what he lacked. He still has beautiful fangs. Still has beautiful eyes and his natural cobalt-blue hair. He is still perfect to you.

A sharp hiss leaves his lips, arm attempting to jerk back from your hold as your grip tightens just a hair too hard. As you accidentally tug on a far too sensitive part of the knot. Getting a little too lost in your head while your fingers pick away diligently. Trying to ease the pain as fast as you can.

“Human!” He whines, quickly shushed by a flurry of apologies leaving your mouth. Face flushed, panic in your eyes as he admonishes you.

Once again you’re reminded all too well of how far you’ve fallen for him. Heart racing, brain yelling at itself for hurting him.

It’s dumb, you know that. Everything about the schoolgirl crush you’ve formed on him is. But it doesn’t stop the frown on your lips, the gentle rub of your fingers into his skin as you try to make it up to him.

A quiet grumble leaves his lips, heart hurting at the little dejected expression you wear. He forgives better than he forgets, moving his arms back to the pillow propped on your lap, allowing you to continue your work.

A pout stays on his lips as he watches your hands move. Watches the way the tweezers move under the thin layer of skin. Watches the way you move softer now, taking your time with him. Trying your utmost to not hurt him again.

To you it feels far too intimate. To him, it leaves him almost feral.

“Been working really hard on them lately, haven’t you?” Your voice sounds, trying to distract him or yourself from wandering thoughts– you’re not sure. He’s almost clean– almost all better so you can stop playing nurse. Get a warm washcloth to soothe the skin, take away any ache that lasts from the overused glands.

He nods, “Autumn is coming up…” He mumbles, the words leaving his lips in almost a shy fashion. Like it’s a secret that isn’t a secret at all in the coy fashion he knows you adore.

He knows all too well all of the things that make your stomach flutter. Listens to your heart beat like it’s his favourite song, the flush of your cheeks his favourite painting. Every little twitch of your lip or tap of your feet he catches with ease. You are his favourite everything.

You’ve become far more interesting than any book, far more gorgeous than any actress. Learned to read you better than yourself.But he supposes that would happen to any hybrid who had to wait as long as him, endure as much as he has.

Humans are tricky things, you know? You have to wait and wait and wait just for them to finally give into what they really want. Play the long game to win a prize at the end like he wants, deserves.

He’ll win it soon. August.

“Mmm? Having a contest with the house spiders or something?” You giggle, an effort to try and keep the atmosphere as light as possible. Try to distract from any pain he may be feeling at the moment.

Jimin is convinced he can speak to them– the house spiders that you allow to stay in the corners of your house. Another one of Jimin’s pitfalls that you couldn’t help but wonder into. He claims that they’re his friends, that he talks to them all the time. You, on the other hand, are unconvinced. They probably just use him for food!

“How did you know?! Who told you!” He gasps in mock surprise, head dipping low to rest on your shoulder before he continues, “No, not this time…they all know I would win anyway.”

“I know you would,” He doesn’t allow you in the basement to look at them, at least he hasn’t in the last month, but you’ve seen plenty strung around the house. Dotted in the corners of each room, his way of claiming territory. “You’ve always got such pretty silk.”

His face flushes– he knows you can’t see it. It’s good if you don’t, better if you have no clue how much your words affect him. Exactly how much those words mean to him.

Hopefully you will soon enough. Hopefully, if things go according to plan, you’ll know a lot of things. But right now you just need to stay a little clueless. Just for a little longer.

That’s what he promises to himself.

“What’s happening in autumn then?” You ask, finally pulling the last bit of silk from his left wrist. Both finally clean, finally working like they should be.

Taking each wrist into one of your hands, your thumbs find the openings to the spinnerets. Fingers rubbing gentle, soothing circles into the flesh. Your version of a little makeshift massage. One that always causes him to fall apart under. Spine slumping, mouth parting slightly as he watches your fingers work. His brain going a little empty along with the soothing motion of your fingertips.

Another thing that you don’t understand the intimacy of. The extent of what your touch means to him. How terribly it makes him want to bite you.

His voice is a pitch lower than before. You can’t help but notice the way his breath stutters in his throat at the gentle movement of your thumbs. The way his pupils expand ever so slightly. The way he leans into your touch, avoids eye contact at all costs.

You can’t help the blush that dusts your cheeks, the flutter of your ribcage. The way you keep going just because you know it’s making him feel good.

Stop it! You’re thinking in a bad way again! It isn't right! It’s just from the massage, the relief after his spinnerets are cleared! God, you can’t think about him like this. Can’t do this to yourself! Calm down, seriously. None of this is a big deal.

You know he can hear fast your heart is beating regardless of the argument going on inside of your brain.

“Autumn is mating season.” Your thumbs stutter.

Oh. That is something all of the articles definitely neglected to tell you. They didn’t tell you anything about… that aspect of spiders. Not that they explained much to begin with but certainly nothing about breeding.

You can’t help the way your grip tightens, trying to find purchase– stability at the revelation. Heart thrumming in your chest faster, more aggravated than before. The chill that travels down your spine with the hum of his voice so close to your ear.

Can’t help the sinch of jealousy that finds you either.

Fuck, you hate that he’s smirking– without even looking at his face you can tell! You know he can hear the exact pitter-patter of your heart, any little sound or smell you let out he can easily pick up. Knows your exact emotions before you know them yourself.

“Ah… I see.” This topic really shouldn’t make you so embarrassed! Pull yourself together!

You know that all hybrids have a cycle they go through. Heats, ruts, anything in between. You knew that when Jimin came into your life he would be the same! Knew there would be a time when he’d have to lock himself in the basement, body flooded with hormones. The pretty sounds you’d have to block out filling the house.

But still, because it’s him, you can’t help the nerves that arise from your core. The realisation that it would be coming sometime soon.

If you’re going to make it through you’d have to invest in some soundproof headphones. For your own sanity.

“Mmm?” He smiles, voice sweet and saccharine. Away with the pain of existing also left cute Jimin, leaving a deadly predator in its wake. One that likes to taunt and tease you while acting as innocent as an angel.

Leaves your brain confused, floundering trying to keep up with his deceptively sweet tongue. Doing it all just to get a cute little reaction out of you.

Guess he picked up on the exact little whirlwind of your mind, “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed…”

“Shut up!” You whine, trying to stand from the couch so you can retrieve a washcloth. Try to avoid the way your heart is going to pound out of your chest, the way you know you’ll fall farther into his clutches.

His arms lock on firm, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck to rub his cheeks against your skin. Scent you just like he does a million times a day claiming that it's necessary. Spiders smell so much less than other hybrids– he has to do it or else.

Or at least that’s what he says– you think that it’s another lie.

“What!” He laughs, “Not like I’m saying anything dirty, it’s only natural.” He chides, sliding back against the couch, pulling you into his side with ease. Slotting you in like you’re meant to fit there, not whatever mate he meets in the future.

Your brain yells at itself. You know how dangerous that line of thinking is.

“Unless you want me to be dirty? I could if I wanted, you know.” He smiles as innocently as a wolf, fangs oozing with confidence behind them.

“Oh my god!” You sigh dramatically, putting on the front you always do when your heart feels like it may just explode. When you feel like digging an early grave because Jimin knows exactly what he’s doing.

You simply roll your eyes, “And I could punch you in the dick if I wanted to, you know?”

His laugh is always so pretty, boisterous yet still as light as air. Head tilting back, his neck on display as he chastises you for the empty threat. One you both know won’t come true, at least not right now.

He smiles, a gentle kiss being placed on your forehead as he urges you to stay. Promising he’ll be a ‘good little spider’ so you don’t have to worry about him. The implication of snacks and movies making you stay. The way he pouts when you tell him you’re not buying anymore BugBitez™ until the end of the week confirming that this is where you need to be right now. That it’s right.

It’s almost too easy for him too. Everything is too easy for you when it comes to Jimin. He claims the exact same.

Or at least, that’s what he mumbles in your ear now. Arms wrapped around you as tight as he can manage. Movie nearing its end with Jimin on the cusp of consciousness, you having lost the plot of it a long time ago.

Something about Aliens? Cowboys? Mothman? You couldn’t even hope to guess. Not when his breath is in your ear.

It’s hard to focus when he’s so close like this. When he’s saying pretty words that could get you lost in your fantasy over and over again. Making him harder and harder to give him up every moment that passes you by.

“Got lucky with my human.” He mumbles, half asleep, face buried in your hair, “Really good human.”

His lips move so lazily when they speak. Fangs running across the surface your skin like they have a mind of their own. Never daring to pierce the surface. Never daring to bite you for real. No matter how bad he really, really wants to.

How bad he wants to mate you. Make you his pliant little prey– see if the rumours about what his venom does to humans is real.

Your breath stutters but you pay it no mind. Trying, begging your eyes to remain focused on the movie. To ignore how deceptive sleepy Jimin is. Tomorrow, he will act as normal. His words will carry no weight.

He isn’t your boyfriend. You aren’t his mate. You two are just friends sharing a house.

Feelings you have no right to have are forced down over and over again. It seems like it's become a daily occurrence– a pattern of habit you have no hope in breaking. The love piling behind your eyelids means nothing when the person he is meant to be with could be around any corner.

But it’s getting harder. Too hard to hold them back and restrain yourself. Especially on nights like this when it feels like fate that the two of you met.

Thinking back on that fateful day now, all of those months ago, you’re sure it had to have been. Maybe the winter gods (if such a thing existed) decided to shine their light on you; to make the blizzard a little less lonely. Make your life filled with long days and even longer nights just a little bit brighter.

Or maybe they hated you and wanted you to suffer.

Wanted you to live a life knowing your affections will never be reciprocated, knowing that Jimin has a fated one out there somewhere just waiting for him. Knowing that it isn’t you. Cursing you to a life of watching Jimin fall for another.

Thinking becomes so hard when it’s about Jimin. When it’s about the man who made you so far into the pits of hell that you don’t think you’ll ever crawl out.

So instead your fingers simply squeeze his hand. Rub gentle, soothing circles into the skin. Care for him like you’re meant to instead of thinking about what the future may hold. What will happen when he does find his mate. What they might be like, what they might dress like, if they’ll have to move in here, if you’ll have to watch him fall in love over and over again every single day.

You think you might hate them.

You sigh.

No, that wouldn’t be fair. Could never be fair to Min. He deserves happiness. He deserves the world whether or not you’re a part of it.

You hope he isn’t able to pick up on the changes in your scent.

“Mmm mm, got lucky with you Min.”

August 11th.

A beautiful dream shattered by the incoherent nightmare that is your spider pacing around your room. A pillow pulled to either side of your head, doing everything in their power to drown out the noise as an audible groan leaves your lips. His nervous prattling too early in the morning for your liking.

Any other day it would be fine, you would think that it’s cute. The way he worries his lip between his teeth. The way he gently bites down on the pad of his thumb, one arm crossed while the other soothes the skin of his chin.

Any other day you’d sit in bed, listen to him. Mock him slightly with how much worry runs through his body.

But he isn’t talking about his mate any other day, is he? No, it seems that the occasion has been saved for this morning. His head running a mile a minute, losing all composure he once had before. Losing his very sense of self as anxiety courses through his veins.

“What if it isn’t good enough? I need to present it to her soon. Need to make sure everything is perfect for her.” Apparently he had met her. When? You have not a single clue. Jimin hasn’t left the house in weeks other than to go hunt bugs and to go to the grocery store with you.

“What if the web isn’t big enough? She might not like the style either…” He grumbles, eyes locked on the carpet as he moves back and forth across your room, “God and what if she hates the food… No, no you know what she likes.”

“Jimin, she’ll like everything. It will be fine.” You groan, sitting up in bed to face him, voice gruff with morning air.. You don’t want him to be in here, talking about this. Talking to you about this. Shattering your heart every second that passes by.

You knew it would happen someday, you really did. You tried to do everything right. Tried to pretend reality wasn’t creeping through your windows with every second that passes by. Try to ignore the impending sense of doom that covered your skin.

Did everything right only to end up failing once again due to the rations of Park Jimin.

You try to look at him through the fuzz in your eyes, sleep still trying to force you back into its clutches with everything that it has. Try to see what he is doing– understand what he is saying. His voice continuing to speak yet not fluent enough for you to actually understand. His body twitches ever so slightly, head jerking as his teeth dig deeper and deeper into his thumb. It was almost like you weren’t even in the room– not to him at least. Lost within the tangles of his brain.

Pulling himself deeper and deeper into the recesses of his mind, spiralling out of control of everything that seems rational, everything that he is meant to do or meant to say. It’s almost like he isn’t in the room at all. Isn’t pacing along your floor, surrounded by your scent. Comforting his inner spider before it loses control entirely with the hormones that rush through his veins.

August 11th. The date was circled 5 times on his calendar– red exclamation points, doodles scattered across the stupid day. Yet now, for the life of him he can’t seem to remember why. He can’t seem to remember much of anything though, so that isn’t a surprise. Only his web. The gifts he’s prepared for this day. Yeah. Those are the only things he can seem to think about.

A hand lands on his shoulder– one that isn’t his own. Who’s touching him? He isn’t sure. Isn’t sure of much other than the smell combing through the room that becomes sweeter and sweeter by the second. Honey he is unable to resist.

Especially with how soft the hand is that touches him. How gentle it is on his shoulder, his pace back and forth falling just so he can revel in it. Understand it.

“Hey Min.” Oh. It’s you. Your voice coming through the fog. Your voice startling him from the dream.

Gorgeous, gorgeous you.

Mate.

“It’s gonna be okay, yeah?” Why do you sound sad? No, maybe it’s distressed. His face falls.

No, no, no. You shouldn’t be sad. You should never be sad. You should always be happy with him. You should love him. His love should make you whole. Your love makes him whole.

Wait, does he have your love yet?

Now he isn’t sure.

All he knows is that he should. You should. He should wrap you up in his nest, hold you close until you feel nothing but him. Don’t think about anybody else. Look at anybody else. You should always be happy and safe. Happy and safe with him just like he feels with you. Has always felt with you.

More than that stupid reserve. More than his webs back there. It was fate that brought the two of you together, right? Right? So he should be allowed to indulge just a little. He should be allowed to let go of this stupid, fucked up play he’s been putting on for so long. He should be allowed to do whatever he wants.

The reserve always taught him he was a wild spider, you know?

Wait, spider.

Spider.

His rut. That’s what’s coming today. That’s why the day was circled. That’s why Jimin isn’t acting like himself. That’s why his spider is itching, clawing to come out to play. Why he so desperately wants all of you to himself.

He hasn’t even presented his web yet.

He tilts his head at you, blank eyes staring down into bright ones. Ones that hold his entire world at your fingertips.

“There he is.” Your smile is almost blinding. Makes his head pound just like the sun's rays.

That’s right. That’s why he needs to keep his composure. To keep that smile on your lips. To keep you happy. To keep you falling in love with him slowly the human way. The way he knows you’d prefer. Knows you adore every second of.

He isn’t Taehyung. He isn’t Taehyung.

The human way is better. Better at keeping you pliant. Better at keeping you happy. Better at keeping you unafraid.

He hates when people are scared of him. Hates when people flinch with every movement he makes. Hates when people can’t just love him like he so craves. He’s still a hybrid. He still wants love. He was bred for it just like the rest of them.

So when you came into his life, so gentle and caring despite the palpable fear that scented the air– weighed it heavily, it sparked light behind his eyes. When he felt you touch him, felt the sparks dance across his flesh and allowed himself to inhale once more. When there were no traces of fear within you, only the scent of his mate. His eternity.

He knew he had to do the right thing. Had to make you love him the human way. Had to make you fall for him, endure the wait. Endure the daily struggles of his instincts just so you would never be afraid of him. The end would be worth it.

He would never let you fear him even at the cost of his own sanity.

Because he isn’t Taehyung. He’s Jimin. He’s a good spider.

“You need to be careful Min…” You tell him quietly. Your voice is the only anchor to his shaky world. The light brought him back from the edge over and over again today.

He needs to leave your room before all of his planning goes to waste. Calm himself down. Present to you his web and all of his gifts so you can accept him properly.

“Your thumb… it’s bleeding honey…” He tilts his head again, inspects your hands as they move closer. Tries to force lucid thought from behind his heavy eyelids as you touch his skin directly.

Tries to ignore the throb deep inside as you gently remove the finger from his lips. Pull it away from the fang that was piercing him. The sting of the bite.

He hadn’t even noticed it.

He watches as a single drop spills from the abrasion. Slipping down his finger. Feels the way your hands come up to cup his cheeks.

Leave. Leave. Leave.

The way your thumb comes to his lips, worry etched across your features as you swipe away any remaining blood from his lower lip.

Leave. He needs to leave.

He isn’t sure how your finger ends up in his mouth. His plush lips wrapping around the digit, tongue curling around your flesh as he licks away the red spilled. Sucking on it gently as heat curls in his stomach. His eyes half-lidded, staring into the recesses of your very soul.

A groan passes through him at the taste of your skin. How sweet you are against his tongue. Do you even know what a vixen you are? What a tease you’ve come to be over the past 9 months?

No. Of course you don’t. Not with the blush that rushes to your cheeks. The stutter of his name that passes through his lips. The questions that you ask– what are you doing? Wh-why?

He wants you to be quiet. To enjoy you for all it’s worth. Enjoy everything you have to offer.

The command is silent– no more than the press of his bleeding thumb to your lips. The demand that you part them for him. To clean that wound that you unknowingly caused.

A hand on your cheek directing your head back. He’s been a good little spider, you can be a good little girl too, can’t you?

You are.

“J-Jimi–” He slips it inside, resting the pad against your tongue. Holding it in place. Asking, begging for this one little thing from you. You don’t mind, do you? You’ve always made him feel better before. This is no different, is it?

And so you do.

He watches the way your eyelids fall, your lips close as you begin to gently suck against it like he so craves. Like he desires down to the very cells that make up his body.

To imagine it’s his cock instead. Gently fucking into you over and over again, teaching you how to take his it how he likes. How he knows you’ll like. You’ll love everything about him. You’re meant to. It’s in the fabric of your DNA and soon it will all be his. Right after he shows you his–

Shit.

He needs to leave.

Got carried away in his fantasy. In pretending again.

His rut is coming too fast, too strong now that he finally has his mate in his grasp. He needs to leave. He needs to calm down so he can go this properly.

He leaves you on the bed, more confused and distressed than when he first entered. Annoyance hovering over your entire wake in a blanket of unrest. One that you know will not ease your soul for the rest of the day.

The spider has locked himself away. Hiding from you. Keeping himself in the basement, door locked, shutters drawn to drown out any sense of you that may be persisting.

You, on the other hand, have had nothing to do but stew in your own emotions. Think about every little decrepit detail that occurred hours prior. Edicting yourself to only address him by spider even in your thoughts.

It’s spiteful, sure. But it’s the least he deserves, you know? After everything he’s put you though– pulling you along like a little puppet on a string. Making you sit idly by for him to give you any lick of affection he’s willing to part with. Making you feel special, like you're worth something every second that he gets only for him to remind you with too much familiarity that he isn’t yours to have.

He woke you up, told you about his mate, looked at you like he was going to fuck you, and made you suck on his finger only for him to leave? The sheer fucking audacity of this man.

You’re sick of it.

Sick of having to force everything down because you know it isn’t what he wants. Sick of falling in love with him every day. Sick of having to play house. Sick of not having him. Sick of being playing the lovesick fool.

So, into the novels you fall. Into alternate worlds that are far better than your own. Displacing yourself into new habitats, new environments to escape the confines of the four stuffy walls that surround your body, head, and heart.

Into a world where it’s okay to fall in love with whoever you want. Where it’s okay to feel wanted. Where reality can be shut away by your headphones and a good snack. Where you can ignore the body approaching behind you. The tap on your shoulder.

You try to, honestly. And a good attempt it was.

Keeping your grip firm on the pages, nails digging into the paper below. Breath in your lungs held as if doing so would keep him away. Eyes tracing the pages over and over again though reading nothing. Attempting to appear as if you didn’t notice him at all.

Maybe he would leave, that was your biggest hope. Take the headphones placed firmly over your ears as a loud, obnoxious hint. That he would see you’re not interested and retreat to his basement layer to plot on the next way to torture your heart.

He doesn’t. He never would.

His frame comes to kneel in front of you. To stare up at you with those big brown doe eyes that you know you could never escape. Placing a gentle hand on your knee, trying to get you to see that he is there. That he wants to see you.

You see his lips move, though ignore entirely what they say. Letting out a huff, turning your body away from his own. Continuing to mindlessly stare at the pages even though their contents holds no meaning in this moment. No real value.

His forehead drops to your leg, a sigh leaving his throat. Words mumbled from his lips you’re unable to make out– not that you would want to hear them anyway.

Maybe it’s a temper tantrum of sorts. Giving him a taste of his own medicine. To feel even a pinch of what you do. He probably never does.

Your fight is a good one. It truly is– at least you think so. But it all comes tumbling down the second his lips press against your knee. His hands reaching past your iron grip on the book to hold your own.

You will always fall to the likes of Jimin.

Especially when you see his lips mouth the word please. His brows crested with worry, his lower lip quivering in worry. Fangs biting the surface to try and soothe the nerves he feels.

Any sense of foreboding he held earlier, gone. The tick of his shoulders, the cold, blank stare of his eyes vanished. Your Jimin, the one you’re used to, in love with, rising to the surface again.

You’re unable to fight against the plea, no matter how much you want to. Unable to fight against him.

“What is it.” Your voice is harsh as you remove your headphones, setting the book to the side. Much more than it appears he’d like it to be if the flinch of his neck is anything to go by.

“I…” Words feel lost in his throat, but he forces himself to continue forward, “I have something I need to show you, human…”

Why is he acting so weird? Acting like earlier never happened? He seems nervous, almost petrified at your reaction. As if anything you say could break him entirely.

You don’t understand it at all. Anything about this situation, really.

“Okay…?” You watch his face carefully, trying to reason. To figure out why exactly the air seems so heavy. Why this situation feels so tense. “Show me then?”

“I…You have to come with me?” It sounds like a question, his face flinching at his own words. He’s meant to do this perfectly. Why can’t he seem to get it right? Why can’t his instincts help him with this? “Like, I can’t bring it up here… I need you to follow me?”

“Huh?” The quiet breath leaves your throat as your features pinch.

He quickly tries to explain further, trying to help you see through the worry on your face, “Not far I promise. Just to the basement, yeah?”

Your head jerks back in surprise, “You never let me go down there.”

“Yeah but…it’s special this time.” Oh.

It’s almost as if the pieces click together on their own. Your brain drawing conclusions, making decisions for you despite the obvious staring right in your face. His mate is probably down there. Wants you to meet her.

You can only sigh, accept your fate for what it is. Follow the boy with the string to the basement once again, just like the first night he came tumbling into your life.

“Okay.”

He holds your hand as you walk.

Holds it as if his life depends on it. As if it’s the red string of fate that has tied your two bodies together for the rest of eternity. As if he might die the second you two part. As if you might run away the second he lets go.

You never do, never try to run away from him. You’ve tried to run away from your feelings for so long. The least you can do is see through to the end of them, right? That would be the right thing to do. The dignified thing instead of trying to throw a tantrum on the floor.

The walk to the basement feels like the longest in your life. A marathon you have no training for, no experience with tugging you along. Silence extended for miles along each creak of the floorboards, each set of the dim stairs.

Jimin left the lights off, dusk settling along the horizon not long ago. Only distant flickers from the basement coming through as you make your way down. Candle light in the distance lighting the way.

He doesn’t say a thing as your feet reach the bottom of the stairs, toes cushioned by soft silk lining the floors. He doesn’t have to.

It’s beautiful. That’s the only way you can describe what he’s turned the basement into.

Beautiful silks cover every waking surface– the floors, the walls, the ceiling all lined in brilliant patterns of white dancing across the surface. Creating stories as if they were living themselves.

You wish you could stare at them. Admire them for the rest of your life. Decipher each piece laying, coating the surface. Envisioning the world through the eyes of Jimin. Through the world around him.

Webs cross from floor to ceiling, taking space over the room. Intricately laid in patterns you are more accustomed to with spiders. Webbed hatching sectioning off parts of the space, acting as furniture for the bug to rest on.

As your eyes scan the room, you finally find what you think has to be the most gorgeous web in the world. Sitting in the far right corner of the room stands a nest that takes up the entire corner. The effort it took to make it clear in its craft. So soft, so comfortable.

You almost want to curl up in it yourself.

Illuminated by only the glow of candle light, Jimin does nothing but watch as you take everything in. Watch as your face changes into that of euphoria. Mesmerised by everything he has worked so hard on, everything he’s done just to impress you.

You turn to face him, staring at him with nothing but wonder in your eyes.

“Jimin, this is– fuck this is incredible,” Your voice is breathless, cut off by how overwhelmed you are with everything. With him. “This must’ve taken you so long, it’s so beautiful. Oh my god, how did you–”

He can’t take it anymore. Can’t take it now that he has you here, has you in his web. Now that he can keep you in it forever. Complimenting him. Completing him. He needs to finish with the rest of this fast. Before he does something he’ll regret. Before he finishes showing you how good a mate he will be to you properly.

He tugs you forward, practically puzzling as he tugs you deeper into his room of webs. Expertly guiding you through each one without a second to spare.

Jittery, excited. Feeting rocking themselves back and forth as he sits you on a blanket placed on the ground.

He isn't going to last much longer. Not before his heat takes over. Before he loses his mind at you in the sight of his nest. His mate in his nest. Waiting to be bred. Waiting for–

No, no Jimin. Stop it. Stop acting like a spiderling that doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he has his mate in his nest.

“I…” He takes a deep breath, voice shaky as he tries to calm himself down, “I made us a picnic… I hope you like it.”

His spider hisses at the words, hating having to describe it as something stupid like a picnic. No, it's a nuptial gift. Evidence that he’s a good enough mate. That he’s good enough for you. That he deserves you.

You watch him, watch as he pushes the basket filled to the brim with food over to you. Watch as his frame shakes slightly as he stares at you, fingers tapping against strings of webs closest to your leg.

You can’t help but feel lost. Overwhelmed with affection, but utterly, entirely, hopelessly lost all the same. What is he doing? Why is he presenting all of this for you? Shouldn’t he be doing this for his mate? Isn’t all of this some type of courting ritual?

Oh.

It appears the puzzle you constructed– pieces matched together haphazardly stuck together with glue isn’t the solution after all. Isn’t the reality presented before you know.

You’re… you’re Jimin’s mate?

Your eyes widen, head jerking to meet Jimin’s gaze. His pupils shaky, not daring to leave the surface of the basket. Not daring to move an inch until you accept him.

You’re an idiot.

“J-Jimin a-are we…?” You hesitate to ask, hesitate to break the gentle balance residing over the entire basement.

His head snaps to face your own, eyes plagued with the same blank, predatory look as before.

“Mate.” Deep, harsh, scratchy. His voice makes you feel like he’s going to devour you whole. Like he is the monster waiting in the deepest recesses of your nightmares when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. When in reality he is the very being your soul yearns for stronger than any other.

The revelation, the– everything leaves you overwhelmed. Emotions strung up for the stars, casting aside any comets that tried to hurdle towards the perfect glass encasing this moment. This eternity you wish to live in forever as you finally understand that he wants you just as much as you want him.

You can’t help but grab his cheeks– ignore how venomous he looks, and press your lips against his own. Can’t help the explosion behind your eyelids, the sparks that travel across your skins in euphoric waves. The way your heart swells like a balloon, racing in your chest so fast you fear you may die.

Every emotion you’ve felt that day, every nagging, creeping sensation finding its way into the back of your skull vanishes in an instant. No going back. No orchestra or chorus reprise. No thoughts of not being his mate. You are his mate.

Only him.

Only Jimin.

He doesn’t part with you, not for a second. Not when he finally has you against him. When you so easily rise into his lap. When his natural instincts finally stop screaming at him and take over completely. Kiss you with everything he’s worth. Devour you whole.

His hands find purchase on your hips, blunt nails digging into the skin. Mocking him for not doing this in the closet with you all those months ago. Allowing him to truly understand how good it would’ve felt then. How good it will feel every second that follows.

He thinks you have to be the prettiest thing in the world.

His spider thinks that you need to be bred full of his spiderlings. Fucked so hard that you wont be able to walk– wont be able to leave his nest. That he’ll be able to tie you up nice and pretty, stuff you with his cum over and over again until you’d never even think about leaving.

His spider is winning.

“Min…” Your voice is breathless, trying to keep up with the flurry of kisses he presses against your lips, your face– anywhere he can reach. It’s like he’s addicted to the feeling, like he’s making up for lost time.

“Min, I love you.” And just like that, any sanity he has left vanishes.

His spider has won.

Without a second thought you’re lifted from your place on his lap, thrown carelessly into his nest. His nest where you will stay. His nest where he’ll keep you. All thoughts vanished from that pretty little head of yours. Just like it should be.

His hands find the back of his collar, shirt discarded without a second thought on the floor. He doesn’t need it anymore. Not when he has you. When he wants to feel you fully.

You can only stare– fawn at his tan skin. The gentle muscles on display for you. For your eyes only while he crawls towards you. Stalks you just like they might a pretty little butterfly caught in their web. Wrapped in webs and killed without a second thought.

His lips find yours once again. Slotting together, filling the other to make them whole. Dazed in lust and passion, neither soul hoping there would ever be a way out for the other.

Well, there won’t be for you. But that’s okay. You’ll love it. Love every second of it.

He knows it as his fingers dance against your skin. Sliding beneath the hem of your shirt, running with skilled ease up your sides. The chill that racks through your body is evidence enough. The way you so easily allow him to draw your shirt over your head solidifies it. Your shorts follow, making it set in stone.

Your breath comes out in short pants, every slight touch, every little movement sends fire burning through your skin. Igniting you, setting your core ablaze with heat that only he can extinguish.

Fingers gently sliding over your ribs, thumbs coming just blow your breasts to rub circles into the skin while his fangs nip gently into your lower lip. He can’t bite you now. No, after he mates you he can bite you all he wants.

He groans at the thought, hips rocking themselves against your clothed cunt. Allowing you to feel all of him– the press of his cock, the motion of his need allowing you to fall higher and higher into a heaven you did not think possible.

You whine at him to do something, anything. Too impatient to wait any longer. Too impatient to live a second more without something, anything buried inside of you.

His smile is sick, twisted as he reclines back on his heels. Allows himself to get a good look at you.

“Shh, Shh…” His hand cups your cheek, smoothing his thumb against your lips. Pressing it inside with more ease than before. More compliance than before. There’s a good little girl.

“Poor thing is having a hard time, huh?” He mocks gently, hips pressed firm against your own allowing you to feel every inch of him, “Pretty lips all swollen, pussy a little mess from just kissing… mm mm…”

He groans, hand slipping between your legs. What he finds is no more than a mess of a girl. Hips bucking upwards. Slick dripping from your center, panties coated in arousal. Puffy little clit begging for any attention he’s willing to give it.

Without any hesitation his thumb finds your clit, pressing against it without any thought of reprieve. Without any thought to give you any of the relief you crave. You’ve made him wait this long, you can wait a second, no?

He groans high as you buck against his hand, mewl leaving your lips as some sort of plea. Ah~ how cute. Such a little thing so desperate for something, anything that you’re willing to give up your very head in return? How cute! How adorable!

His spider preens. Is almost so belated he doesn’t notice the hands that come down to grip his wrist. Hold him in place all so you can circle your hips against his thumb. Rub adorable little rings into your clit without any help from him. Use him to make yourself feel good.

A coo leaves his lips. Who is he to deny such a pretty little human?

“Ah pretty baby wants to feel good, does she?” He almost giggles at how pathetic you look. How adorably you cling to him. How hard you try.

His arm is ripped from your grasp, pulling back from the very place you desire him most. Where your arousal soaks the cotton of cotton, so palpable he can practically taste it in the air.

“It’s okay baby…” He sees the annoyance in your face, the battiness you hold in your heart coming to light. Excited to tame it. Excited to quell the pretty little devil in his web.

Tie you up. Breed full.

Breed you.

His fingers work fast. Arms are pulled over your head, silks quickly pinning them to the surface. Strings wrapping and wrapping until he’s sure you’re secure. Sure you can’t move.

His hips gently rock against your own, clothes cock pressing against your core. Watching as your hips buck, as you try to urge him closer with a pathetic whine.

See exactly how you struggle against the strings.

Perfect, perfect girl. How did he get so lucky, huh? Can never be sure.

You’re unable to stop the cry that leaves your throat as his hands pull your panties aside, finger thrusting into your wet heat. Filling you up, making you feel a little more whole.

“Min~” The moan of his name is shaky. Every sense you have in overdrive as he works his finger against your walls. Every push inside deeper, harder. Curling against your walls in the exact way you craved.

Pleasure coils in your stomach faster than you thought possible. A second finger joining the first, pumping in and out as he prepares you for his cock. Prepared you to take all of him and nothing less.

He knows you can do it. You can, can’t you?

“Mhmm baby, I know… head a little clearer now, huh?” He chuckles, chastising, “Can only think when you’re full. It’s so cute.”

You whimper at his words, head rolling back as the coil pulls tighter and tighter within your gut. Urging you to just let it snap, feel everything you’ve been waiting for.

“F-feels good…” You mutter quietly, unable to see the haze cloud his vision. The way his amused expression drops into that of a wild animal.

Without any warning his fingers pull out of your heat, body leaving your own entirely as he stands. Grabbing your hips, dragging them closer. Flipping your body over. Setting you pretty on your knees, arms uncomfortable crossed in front of you.

He quickly rids himself of his pants, allowing his cock to spring free from their confines. Head red and messy as it hits his stomach. Angry at how neglected you’ve left him. How desperately he wants this.

You have no way of preparing yourself for the drag of his cock through your lips. The gentle nudge against your clit. Thick head dragging through your folds, spreading your arousal. Mixing it with his pre-cum.

Making you messy. Making you dirty just for him. Making you belong to him.

“Gonna fill my mate.” All humour is gone from the man behind you, as if he is someone else entirely. It’s really too bad your head has a few too many screws loose to care. Care about anything other than the way his firm head presses against your hole. The way his blunt nails dig into your flesh.

“Gonna breed her. Mate her. Make her mine.” It’s almost as if his word is a command. The very sentences he utters become law.

You can only nod your head. Give yourself to the very man that fate led you to all those months ago. “Want~”

The thrust of his hips into your walls is almost too much to bear. A cry leaving your lips as he fucks himself inside in a single thrust. Forcing you to take him to the hilt, to feel all of him stretch your walls. No break. No waiting around.

You’ve both done enough waiting.

It hurts— the burn, as he stretches you full. Presses his cock against your walls making sure your cunt remembers no one but him.

The way he gives no reprieve, fucking into you like an animal starved. Pulling back until only the tip remains inside before fucking himself fully inside once more.

“Min!” You cry, waves of pain and pleasure boiling all the same within your bones. All the same inside of your blurred head, nothing but static and thoughts of him behind the line of your eyes. Slipping off into space as you let cunt clenched pathetically around his cock.

“Good mate, taking me so well. Such a good human.” He groans, hips pulling back and thrusting into you over and over again. Making you fall apart with his pace. Pumping his cock into your pathetic little hole fast and hard. Ruining you for any other man.

Making sure he will be the only one you allow to enter heaven.

Your moans come out wanton, pleaing. Hips start to move back against him, trying to keep up with his pace despite the burn you begin to feel in your tied arms. Desperate to let him know just how good he’s filling you. Just how good he’s making you feel.

“My mate.” His pants come out harsh, breath on your neck as he hovers close. The sound of skin and against skin is the only thing you’re able to hear. The pressure of Jimin’s lips against your neck makes you feel like you’re about to go insane.

He’s desperate to make you fall apart on his cock alone. Pleasure building and building, the coil tight. Ready to snap at any moment. Ready to fall apart at his command.

“Gonna make you mine forever pretty.” His voice is featherlight once more. The switches have you reeling, your brain spinning. “Want that, don’t you? For me to bite you? Mark you up? Breed you full of my spiderlings? Ruin that pretty little head for anything else.”

He sighs, nails digging into your hips where they’re sure to leave bruises. You nod your head in agreement, moans spilling past your lips as his hips change their angle. His cock hitting the spot that leaves you seeing stars on every thrust.

“Say the word and you’re mine.” You feel his fangs against your skin. The harsh drag across your delicate skin. “Forever.”

You can’t take it anymore, pleasure burning through you. Blinding you. Unable to think about anything else other than the rough thrusts of his cock against your walls.

“Please.” It’s no more than a whimper, but he swears it’s the loudest thing he’s ever heard.

His teeth clamp into your flesh— the final thing needed to push you over the edge into bliss. Your body stutters, walls a vice around his cock as the coil finally snaps. Heat flowing through every cell you possess. The only thing in your soul is Jimin.

Your back arches, eyes dotting with black as you allow it to overtake you. Jimin rocking you against him, groaning as he fills you with his cum, painting your walls white. Allowing you to ride out your high with him. Finally allowing the rut to rid his brain for only a moment.

He slowly pulls out of you, panting. Quickly moving to cover your center back up with your underwear. Make sure all of his cum stays tucked away in your pretty little pussy to get you nice and pregnant.

You can only whimper, body twitching at every movement he makes. Worn down your bones— energy sucked so dry you can’t even feel the throb of your neck. Don’t even notice the blood that drips from where he marked you— claimed you in the way only a hybrid can.

All you're sure of is the need to be close to him. Need to feel him.

Is this what he had been feeling all along? Marks were known to do that, to allow you to feel what your mate does. If he had to endure what you’re feeling right now, it had to have been hell for him.

“Min…” you calm his name. Pull him from where he stares between your legs. Where his fingers rub circles into the surface of your underwear, spreading any cum that leaks from your twitching hole.

Within a second he’s at attention, staring at you with all of the love in the world. You’re not sure how you missed it before. How you could have deluded yourself into believing any less.

He pouts as you wiggle at your restraints, silk holding your arms in place all this time. He gently shakes his head, slowly flipping your body back over onto its back. Crawling over you to look at your face properly. Take in your fucked out expression. Ruined his pretty little human. Made her perfect.

“Don’t want to.” His lower lip juts out at you, eyes wide just like a begging dog. “Look pretty tied up in my web. Should stay like this. Forever.”

“I don’t think my job would like that very much.” You giggle, lip pouting out to match his own. He leans down, quickly capturing your mouth in a quick kiss.

Something hard pressed against your leg once more. His hand comes down to guide it against your heat. Rub against you despite the oversensitivity and cum leaking from your hole.

“Then we move to the woods together… I’ll hunt for us…” He grumbles, pushing your underwear to the side once more. Collecting any cum that has spilled out with his cock, gently fucking it back into your cunt with the head.

A whine rips from your lips due to oversensitivity. Pussy sore, aching from what he just put you though. What you aptly begged for. Yet you can’t deny him. Don’t want to deny him with how good it feels to be filled. How addicted you’ve become. Cock drunk.

“Wh-what?” You try to breathe, walls fluttering around his length as he slowly thrusts back inside. Filling you to the brim once again. “W-we can’t do that, Minnie…”

His thrusts are slow, languid. Almost like he’s making love. Treating you with utmost care despite how wrecked your entire frame is.

He is entirely unaffected. His rut leaves him wanting for more and more until you have nothing left to give. Face twisting into confusion at your words.

“Why can’t we? Make you up a nice pretty web… keep you full all the time” He hums against your neck, gently licking at his mark, “treat you like a real good mate, yeah? Fill you up over and over. Will look so pretty with my spiderlings.”

He moans the words, hips speeding up ever so slightly at the thought. It dawns on you that this must be his rut talking. Filling his head with nonsense he knows can’t come true. In a few days when he wakes up from it, he’ll probably pretend he never said anything about taking you to the woods. Keeping you there.

No harm in agreeing, is there? Especially when he makes you feel so good. So happy and full. When it makes him feel just as good. When your head starts to feel fuzzy, the exhaustion weighs heavily on your consciousness. You’re on birth control anyway, it's fine.

“Mmhmm… sounds nice..” You moan quietly, already feeling your second orgasm approaching. Allowing yourself to become lost in the same dream as him. Allowing yourself to fall victim to pretty words and false promises. Ones that he intends to make true.

“Gonna take such good care of my mate.” He groans, face buried in your neck. He feels your walls clamp around him, pulling him in over and over again. Cunt never wanting him to leave.

His hand draws between your thighs, fingers rubbing quick circles into your clit. Neither of you are going to last long. Both too sensitive to do anything but fall into the pleasure of each other.

Pussy fluttering against his cock, head rolling back as your high runs through you once more. White clouding your vision, ears ringing as you are overcome with fire. Drowning in the feeling of his cock fucking you full of his cum once again.

He lets out a harsh groan as he fills you. Breeds you just like a good spider would. Makes you feel complete as he helps you through both of your highs.

Your eyes feel heavy— too heavy to stay open even a second longer. Too tired to stay awake as he pulls your underwear back over your center. As he pulls your body close to his own.

He doesn’t blame you, never could. It must be hard having to keep up with a hybrid during their rut. But he knows you can do it. Knows you’ll do it for him. Especially with the promises you made. The ones you made only to him.

The last words you hear before falling under the veil of consciousness is a simple declaration. One you’ve waited months to hear.

“I love you.”

“Y/n! Hurry up!”

The whine of Jimin’s voice is louder than any car, highway, hell— aeroplane you’ve ever heard, you’re sure of it. The grip of his hand around your own is like iron, tugging you along the worn trail path, trying to urge you faster than your feet will allow.

“I’m going! I’m goin!” You chide with him, giggle leaving your lips at his hurried nature. You don’t think you’ve ever seen the spider more excited. Maybe even more so than when he strokes the bite mark scarred into your shoulder– your permanent reminder that you are his and he is yours.

“Not fast enough!” He groans, head rolling back in annoyance, “The best spot is going to get taken!”

He’s told you about this spot time and time again– excitement palpable with every mention. A beautiful clearing back at the reserve, one that the trees shine perfectly through. The best spot for basking in the whole park, as well as for begging humans for snacks.

You smile at the thought. Following as close behind him as your feet will manage. Blanket and bags of food tight in your grip. After months of paperwork, he can finally return to this place without fear they’ll take you away from him. The mate licence in your wallet proof enough of it.

He finally gets to take you to the reserve– the place he called home for so long before he met you. The place where he first learned how to be a proper spider. The first place he learned to make friends. He’s most excited about the latter part, getting to show off his shiny new mate to all of his friends. The one he caught the human way.

He’s been talking about it for days, since you first brought up the idea of visiting. Of wanting to see where he lived before he met you. Prattling on and on about everything he’s going to show you, how he’s going to introduce you to Jungkook if he can. About the waterfall over the cove that you two can swim in without anyone finding out.

All of it is a dream come true for your little spider. Your mate.

You smile at the thought– how excited he is as he helps you set up the blanket on the ground. As he helps spread food all around you. Body jittery, head twitching at every little sound.

It’s clear he’s going a little crazy with joy. Entirely ecstatic to have you here with him. Sitting across from him on the ground in a way that almost mocks the picnic you had in his basement that night months ago.

Ah, sorry. Nuptial gift ceremony. He liked it a lot better when you called it that.

“Oh! And then, after we eat, I can introduce you to the head of the park! She’s Namjoon’s mate, but she doesn’t know it yet.” He talks to himself, chatting idly about nothing as he presses another strawberry to your lips. You eagerly take it, biting down on the fruit without a second thought.

You cover your mouth with your hand as you speak, “Really? It must be difficult to confess to her, then.”

He nods his head, overexcited as he looks past you into the trees. Nose twitching as he tries to pick up a scent. Yellow tinted sunglasses high on his nose to block any light from hurting his delicate pupils.

You can’t help but think about how beautiful he is. How lucky you are to have him.

His hair has grown out since that fateful day months ago, blonde replaced by a deep blue that puts the night sky to shame. How his frame has bulked out ever so slightly. Pretty tan skin looking more healthy than ever. His head off in the clouds, trying to ground himself so he doesn’t pick you up and drag you off into the woods.

The human way is never easy for him.

“Mhmm… he’s trying but he isn’t very good at it. Doesn’t understand how humans like it to be done…” He mumbles.

“Hybrid’s do it different?”

“Yeah,” He seems a little lost in space, nose twitching harsher as he tries to recognise the exact scent he knows will be coming soon. Jungkook can never hold himself back from a picnic, no matter how far. He just wishes his nose was stronger.

“Hybrids just take their mate right away. Prove they’re a good mate and then it’s done. But human’s you have to teach.” Your shoulders drop slightly, and maybe if it wasn’t for the love you felt for him or the mate mark pressing against your neck, you would have understood the severity of his words. Of teaching a human, tricking them into making them fall.

“Oh…” You pout, head coming down to rest against his shoulder. None the wiser to the meaning behind his words, “I’m sorry… it must’ve been hard for you.”

He only shakes his head, “It’s okay. I just didn’t want you to ever be scared.”

Suddenly, Jimin is standing. Eyes darting across the underbrush that surrounds the treeline. You follow his vision, squinting slightly to try and make out exactly what he is looking at when two antennae pop over the other side of a bush. Twitching, pointing in your direction. Hunting down food as they move closer.

The insect moves close, tilting his head as he finally moves within your line of vision. Mop of brown floppy hair on his head, wide bunny eyes. Twitching nose all the same. If it wasn’t for the lack of ears and black antennae jolting from his head, you would’ve thought he was a rodent.

“Kook!” Jimin’s voice is loud as he quickly run’s to meet the boy. The other looks just as excited, eyes lighting up with stars as his legs take off in the same direction. The two fall into a puddle of laughter and play fighting as they fall to the ground in greeting.

The infamous Jungkook, an ant hybrid– the biggest ant hybrid you’ve seen, mind you. Jimin’s best friend is finally revealed. And you have to say, seeing them together. Watching as your mate attempts to playfully tie him up silks has to be the prettiest sight you’ve ever laid eyes on.

“Oh my god, Min!” You laugh as Jimin struggles, the giant ant hybrid easily breaking free from the others strings. Instantly the attention is on you. Jimin leaning back to his heels, head thrown back as he whines.

“Shut up! He’s gotten stronger! My webs hold you good enough!” You continue to laugh, unaware of the ant sneaking closer. His antenna tickling your shoulder as he stares at the food in front of you. Begging for just a little taste to bring home to his colony, a little bit to make the queen happy.

You happily oblige, making room for the two of them to join you once again after their little scuffle. A reunion too cute to not try and remember forever. And just like that, conversation begins to flow easily between the three of you. Almost as if Jimin never left in the first place.

The two of them spend all afternoon catching up– Jimin reciting the story of how you two met, Jungkook opening up about the cute human that’s started to come by the park every saturday. Pulling his antennae down as he speaks, clearly embarrassed. Telling you all about how they met, about the reserve.

“Ah~ don’t mind him. Kookie’s just embarrassed cause he doesn’t know how to talk to girls.” Jimin teases, leaning over to ruffle Jungkook’s hair. His arm tightly wrapped around your frame, holding you close. “Not every day that an ant hybrid has a mate outside of their colony, you know?”

“Hyung! Shut up!” He quickly whines, eyes shooting a subtle glare towards the other. Legs kicking slightly underneath his frame. “You… know what it means… especially cause she’s human…”

“I know.” His fangs shimmer as his hand reaches out to ruffle his hair, “Don’t worry. She’ll wanna be your queen in no time.”

You nod your head in agreement, picking up another piece of fruit and popping it into your mouth. Nothing much to add to the conversation– you’ll never really understand the intricacy of hybrids and how they work. Especially those like Jungkook and Jimin.

Yet, you can’t help but feel at peace with that. At peace with them and this moment. Content with your life, content with your mate and the life you’ve built together. You hope that Jungkook can do the same with his own someday. Build a nice little colony or whatever it is that ants do.

“Mhmm, anyone would want someone as cute as you.” You smile, watching as the ant’s eyes go wide. Blush covering his cheek as he tries to pull his antenna down to cover them. Jimin instantly pounces on the other, starting a new round of play fighting. Laughing about having to defend his mates honour. That she isn’t allowed to look at any other hybrid. No one but him.

You giggle along with them, leaning back from your spot. Taking a mental picture of the scene in front of you. Jimin happy, playing. The sunset over the horizon as the three of you laugh in the woods. As Jimin no longer looks anything like that spider all those months ago.

And maybe he’s right. Maybe you did fall into his trap lined with silk. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even when you wake up in the middle of the woods. When you wake up in a cabin decorated in pretty webbing. When you come to find society is far behind you. When you discover no one else other than Jimin telling you that this is exactly what you asked for.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

⋆𐙚 if you enjoyed this fic, please consider buying me a kofi!

© all rights reserved to ctrlhope 2019-2024 ; do not copy, plagiarise, or translate.

[empressgetou]

YOU'RE MINE, I'M YOURS

boyfriend senku x reader

hours after both of suika and y/n who went across to shore to the island where senku and the others were supposed to be. luckily for them ryusui managed to throw suika overboard who was cleaning the docks and y/n who was nearby the kid just in time for the petrification by a second.

y/n stayed behind the island to look for senku as suika went back to the ship to check up on the others and just as night the night falls ibarra and kirisame's group came checking up on the ship making the woman worried about the poor girl on her own in the ship.

"the lab!" echoed through the island.

i recognized that voice anywhere, kohaku! senku and the others must be near. as i look up on the side of the island there they were in a gather with a few people i don't recognized, i was about to ran up to them then i saw kohaku kissing senku...

KISSING SENKU??

i was never the type to be the "im jealous" girlfriend, even before the petrification my relationship with senku is actually great than the usual couples around. that's because he never gave me a reason to over something minor. sure, i may or may not have been a little jealous over the whole marriage thing that was set up with ruri back a few months but that was in the past and now i see this? boy you better have an explanation to this too or i might cut your–

i ran fast as i could to catch up, as i can already see the mobile lab who im assuming suika managed to drive through up to the mountains. as soon as the vehicle stopped they too have stopped their tracks and managed to spot me in my place.

"y/n! you're here! you weren't petrified?" gen asked surprisingly and his eyes went to the leek head whom im not naming.

"nahh ryusui managed to throw me into the ocean just in time with suika" i laughed a little remembering a few hours ago how pissed off i was thinking he has even the audacity to throw us like we're a rock or something but im glad ryusui did managed to save us.

"kekeke somehow i had a feeling you survived that thing though i never expected you'd be here on the island" senku already on my side and had a little smirk on. oh how i wanna punch that handsome face so bad right now.

i rolled my eyes, "course i did. m'not really and idiot ya know." i smirked back.

"good job, you two!" praised senku.

we managed to get out of the villagers hair and went to the underwater cave to hide in the meantime while we prepare in infiltrating the harem and well that includes getting kohaku ready for the act.

"the ingredients are simple!"

"honey, lemon and coconut?"

"ahhh you're making a conditioner?"

"that's ten billion points for you, my dearest!" senku pointed at me as if ive won the lottery.

"you mind leaving me some for my hair?"

and then here's amaryllis having the greatest idea i never would've thought i'd come up with. but men dressing as women? specially senku? i never thought i'd see the day.

"pftt"

"yeah, yeah laugh it while you can honey. you don't know what's coming next for ya." he said while having an obvious annoyed face.

gen however pulled it off but his height was a bit much for an average girl. then there's soyuz, yeah i dont even wanna explain how he looks. and then lastly ginro, well he passed, perfection i might add.

"well that's that. obviously we know who is coming to the harem" i said as i was about to go back to the mobile lab, kohaku spoke.

"we're not done yet y/n, you're next!" and managed to pull me to her side.

"waittt! im not–"

"no buts! come on, you're a candidate yourself if i say so myself plus we could totally infiltrate the harem without a problem if both of you and me work together inside."

"ughhh nooo i don't wanna. too much workkk"

kohaku and amaryllis managed to dress up y/n nicely and while doing so senku's eyes never left her figure and her hair specially. he realized that y/n never actually leave her hair down just like before the petrification maybe because they were always busy working back at the village it would be distracting having her long wavy hair in the way, he only saw her hair down whenever she'd take a bath by the river and whenever she would sleep beside him. amaryllis also put make up on y/n and it definitely just made her even more beautiful and vibrant much to senku's pleasure. he was falling all over again.

"looking good there", he complimented

"thanks. i thought you'd never notice", y/n sarcastically said.

"been a while since i've had make up on too. does it look weird?" she asked worriedly.

"nahh you're good. you're beautiful." he said almost whispering.

"alrightyyy y/n, you're coming with us right?", kohaku asked

"huh? but i'm not really needed there right? hehe", y/n tried to convince her friend.

before y/n and her group went to the harem selection she managed to get inside the mobile lab and talked to senku.

"so i was thinking since ya' know could be a few days or weeks before we'd succeed in the infiltration but i just wanna clarify something." fiddling her hands thinking maybe she just misunderstood what kohaku did to his boyfriend.

"yeah, got something to say before you leave me here all alone?" senku joked still doing his science work.

"i saw kohaku kissed you last night." and went silent, it made y/n think maybe she was stupid to even conclude at that idea.

"ah yeah she did"

"what! why?"

"easy tiger, that was unexpected for me as well, we have to get a distraction from the enemy. gen's fault he included me."

silence again.

"but i guess that made you uncomfortable huh?" she nodded still fiddling her fingers.

he saw this and went to holding her close.

"m'sorry if it made you feel bad, i take full responsibility of how you're feeling right now. tell you what i'll give gen an earful about that and maybe after this whole infiltration thing, we spend time more together after, hmm?" trying to apologize the woman.

"mmm, i see.."

"i understand i just want to know why it had to be done." she said faintly smiling.

"m'sorry if you understood that way. there's nothing going on. m'still yours forever and always" he tried to cheer up.

she then hugged him and he immediately reciprocated. silence engulfing them once again while enjoying the company of each other.

"i love you"

"me to honey. i love you so damn much. i'm yours. okay?" reassuring her and gently pushing his lips into her sweet candy flavored ones.

masterlist

"mmm, you're mine and i'm yours" she giggled.

[physalian]

8 Signs your Sequel Needs Work

Sequels, and followup seasons to TV shows, can be very tricky to get right. Most of the time, especially with the onslaught of sequels, remakes, and remake-quels over the past… 15 years? There’s a few stand-outs for sure. I hear Dune Part 2 stuck the landing. Everyone who likes John Wick also likes those sequels. Spiderverse 2 also stuck the landing.

These are less tips and more fundamental pieces of your story that may or may not factor in because every work is different, and this is coming from an audience’s perspective. Maybe some of these will be the flaws you just couldn’t put your finger on before. And, of course, these are all my opinions, for sequels and later seasons that just didn’t work for me.

1. Your vague lore becomes a gimmick

The Force, this mysterious entity that needs no further explanation… is now quantifiable with midichlorians.

In The 100, the little chip that contains the “reincarnation” of the Commanders is now the central plot to their season 6 “invasion of the bodysnatchers” villains.

In The Vampire Diaries, the existence of the “emotion switch” is explicitly disputed as even existing in the earlier seasons, then becomes a very real and physical plot point one can toggle on and off.

I love hard magic systems. I love soft magic systems, too. These two are not evolutions of each other and doing so will ruin your magic system. People fell in love with the hard magic because they liked the rules, the rules made sense, and everything you wrote fit within those rules. Don’t get wacky and suddenly start inventing new rules that break your old ones.

People fell in love with the soft magic because it needed no rules, the magic made sense without overtaking the story or creating plot holes for why it didn’t just save the day. Don’t give your audience everything they never needed to know and impose limitations that didn’t need to be there.

Solving the mystery will never be as satisfying as whatever the reader came up with in their mind. Satisfaction is the death of desire.

2. The established theme becomes un-established

I talked about this point already in this post about theme so the abridged version here: If your story has major themes you’ve set out to explore, like “the dichotomy of good and evil” and you abandon that theme either for a contradictory one, or no theme at all, your sequel will feel less polished and meaningful than its predecessor, because the new story doesn’t have as much (if anything) to say, while the original did.

Jurassic Park is a fantastic, stellar example. First movie is about the folly of human arrogance and the inherent disaster and hubris in thinking one can control forces of nature for superficial gains. The sequels, and then sequel series, never returns to this theme (and also stops remembering that dinosaurs are animals, not generic movie monsters). JP wasn’t just scary because ahhh big scary reptiles. JP was scary because the story is an easily preventable tragedy, and yes the dinosaurs are eating people, but the people only have other people to blame. Dinosaurs are just hungry, frightened animals.

Or, the most obvious example in Pixar’s history: Cars to Cars 2.

3. You focus on the wrong elements based on ‘fan feedback’

We love fans. Fans make us money. Fans do not know what they want out of a sequel. Fans will never know what they want out of a sequel, nor will studios know how to interpret those wants. Ask Star Wars. Heck, ask the last 8 books out of the Percy Jackson universe.

Going back to Cars 2 (and why I loathe the concept of comedic relief characters, truly), Disney saw dollar signs with how popular Mater was, so, logically, they gave fans more Mater. They gave us more car gimmicks, they expanded the lore that no one asked for. They did try to give us new pretty racing venues and new cool characters. The writers really did try, but some random Suit decided a car spy thriller was better and this is what we got.

The elements your sequel focuses on could be points 1 or 2, based on reception. If your audience universally hates a character for legitimate reasons, maybe listen, but if your audience is at war with itself over superficial BS like whether or not she’s a female character, or POC, ignore them and write the character you set out to write. Maybe their arc wasn’t finished yet, and they had a really cool story that never got told.

This could be side-characters, or a specific location/pocket of worldbuilding that really resonated, a romantic subplot, whatever. Point is, careening off your plan without considering the consequences doesn’t usually end well.

4. You don’t focus on the ‘right’ elements

I don’t think anyone out there will happily sit down and enjoy the entirety of Thor: The Dark World.  The only reasons I would watch that movie now are because a couple of the jokes are funny, and the whole bit in the middle with Thor and Loki. Why wasn’t this the whole movie? No one cares about the lore, but people really loved Loki, especially when there wasn’t much about him in the MCU at the time, and taking a villain fresh off his big hit with the first Avengers and throwing him in a reluctant “enemy of my enemy” plot for this entire movie would have been amazing.

Loki also refuses to stay dead because he’s too popular, thus we get a cyclical and frustrating arc where he only has development when the producers demand so they can make maximum profit off his character, but back then, in phase 2 world, the mystery around Loki was what made him so compelling and the drama around those two on screen was really good! They bounced so well off each other, they both had very different strengths and perspectives, both had real grievances to air, and in that movie, they *both* lost their mother. It’s not even that it’s a bad sequel, it’s just a plain bad movie.

The movie exists to keep establishing the Infinity Stones with the red one and I can’t remember what the red one does at this point, but it could have so easily done both. The powers that be should have known their strongest elements were Thor and Loki and their relationship, and run with it.

This isn’t “give into the demands of fans who want more Loki” it’s being smart enough to look at your own work and suss out what you think the most intriguing elements are and which have the most room and potential to grow (and also test audiences and beta readers to tell you the ugly truth). Sequels should feel more like natural continuations of the original story, not shameless cash grabs.

5. You walk back character development for ~drama~

As in, characters who got together at the end of book 1 suddenly start fighting because the “will they/won’t they” was the juiciest dynamic of their relationship and you don’t know how to write a compelling, happy couple. Or a character who overcame their snobbery, cowardice, grizzled nature, or phobia suddenly has it again because, again, that was the most compelling part of their character and you don’t know who they are without it.

To be honest, yeah, the buildup of a relationship does tend to be more entertaining in media, but that’s also because solid, respectful, healthy relationships in media are a rarity. Season 1 of Outlander remains the best, in part because of the rapid growth of the main love interest’s relationship. Every season after, they’re already married, already together, and occasionally dealing with baby shenanigans, and it’s them against the world and, yeah, I got bored.

There’s just so much you can do with a freshly established relationship: Those two are a *team* now. The drama and intrigue no longer comes from them against each other, it’s them together against a new antagonist and their different approaches to solving a problem. They can and should still have distinct personalities and perspectives on whatever story you throw them into.

6. It’s the same exact story, just Bigger

I have been sitting on a “how to scale power” post for months now because I’m still not sure on reception but here’s a little bit on what I mean.

Original: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy New York

Sequel: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy the planet

Threequel: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy the galaxy

You knew it wasn’t going to happen the first time, you absolutely know it won’t happen on a bigger scale. Usually, when this happens, plot holes abound. You end up deleting or forgetting about characters’ convenient powers and abilities, deleting or forgetting about established relationships and new ground gained with side characters and entities, and deleting or forgetting about stakes, themes, and actually growing your characters like this isn’t the exact same story, just Bigger.

How many Bond movies are there? Thirty-something? I know some are very, very good and some are not at all good. They’re all Bond movies. People keep watching them because they’re formulaic, but there’s also been seven Bond actors and the movies aren’t one long, continuous, self-referential story about this poor, poor man who has the worst luck in the universe. These sequels aren’t “this but bigger” it’s usually “this, but different”, which is almost always better.

“This, but different now” will demand a different skillset from your hero, different rules to play by, different expectations, and different stakes. It does not just demand your hero learn to punch harder.

Example: Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2 does have more influence than Tai Lung, yes. He’s got a whole city and his backstory is further-reaching, but he’s objectively worse in close combat—so he doesn’t fistfight Po. He has cannons, very dangerous cannons, cannons designed to be so strong that kung fu doesn’t matter. Thus, he’s not necessarily “bigger” he’s just “different” and his whole story demands new perspective.

The differences between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are numerous, but the latter relies on “but bigger” and the former went in a whole new direction, while still staying faithful to the themes of the original.

7. It undermines the original by awakening a new problem too soon

I’ve already complained about the mere existence of Heroes of Olympus elsewhere because everything Luke fought and died for only bought that world about a month of peace before the gods came and ripped it all away for More Story.

I’ve also complained that the Star Wars Sequels were always going to spit in the face of a character’s six-movie legacy to bring balance to the Force by just going… nah. Ancient prophecy? Only bought us about 30 years of peace.

Whether it’s too soon, or it’s too closely related to the original, your audience is going to feel a little put-off when they realize how inconsequential this sequel makes the original, particularly in TV shows that run too many seasons and can’t keep upping the ante, like Supernatural.

Kung Fu Panda once again because these two movies are amazing. Shen is completely unrelated to Tai Lung. He’s not threatening the Valley of Peace or Shifu or Oogway or anything the heroes fought for in the original. He’s brand new.

My yearning to see these two on screen together to just watch them verbally spat over both being bratty children disappointed by their parents is unquantifiable. This movie is a damn near perfect sequel. Somebody write me fanfic with these two throwing hands over their drastically different perspectives on kung fu.

8. It’s so divorced from the original that it can barely even be called a sequel

Otherwise known as seasons 5 and 6 of Lost. Otherwise known as: This show was on a sci-fi trajectory and something catastrophic happened to cause a dramatic hairpin turn off that path and into pseudo-biblical territory. Why did it all end in a church? I’m not joking, they did actually abandon The Plan while in a mach 1 nosedive.

I also have a post I’ve been sitting on about how to handle faith in fiction, so I’ll say this: The premise of Lost was the trials and escapades of a group of 48 strangers trying to survive and find rescue off a mysterious island with some creepy, sciency shenanigans going on once they discover that the island isn’t actually uninhabited.

Season 6 is about finding “candidates” to replace the island’s Discount Jesus who serves as the ambassador-protector of the island, who is also immortal until he’s not, and the island becomes a kind of purgatory where they all actually did die in the crash and were just waiting to… die again and go to heaven. Spoiler Alert.

This is also otherwise known as: Oh sh*t, Warner Bros wants more Supernatural? But we wrapped it up so nicely with Sam and Adam in the box with Lucifer. I tried to watch one of those YouTube compilations of Cas’ funny moments because I haven’t seen every episode, and the misery on these actors’ faces as the compilation advanced through the seasons, all the joy and wit sucked from their performances, was just tragic.

I get it. Writers can’t control when the Powers That Be demand More Story so they can run their workhorse into the ground until it stops bleeding money, but if you aren’t controlled by said powers, either take it all back to basics, like Cars 3, or just stop.

—

Sometimes taking your established characters and throwing them into a completely unrecognizable story works, but those unrecongizable stories work that much harder to at least keep the characters' development and progression satisfying and familiar. See this post about timeskips that take generational gaps between the original and the sequel, and still deliver on a satisfying continuation.

TLDR: Sequels are hard and it’s never just one detail that makes them difficult to pull off. They will always be compared to their predecessors, always with the expectations to be as good as or surpass the original, when the original had no such competition. There’s also audience expectations for how they think the story, lore, and relationships should progress. Most faults of sequels, in my opinion, lie in straying too far from the fundamentals of the original without understanding why those fundamentals were so important to the original’s success.

[espinosaurusrexex]

Wait I’m asking another too! Trying to convince Steve let you adopt the smelliest, dirtiest stray dog you found eating out a trash can on your way home from work. The fluffiness of a grumpy Steve having to help bathe the dog but then falling in love. ♥️b-v

I love this SO MUCH! AHHH thank you @blooming-violets 💗

Convincing to Adopt an Animal (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

SteveRogers x Female!Reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: so much fluff, a grumpy Stevie, a chaotic puppy, and some kissies

Steve had his hands deep in sink water when he heard the door open in the hallway. He smiled when he realized the best part of his day was about to begin: seeing you again. But despite his excitement that still lingered, even after a year of living together, he wouldn’t rush. He would finish doing the dishes and he would let you get settled in peace because you needed a little arrival time. And then you would come up to him, wrap your arms around him and press your face to his back, maybe litter a few kisses here and there - he couldn’t wait. 

Though today, it took you a little longer than usual. He heard you kick off your shoes and then mumble something he couldn’t quite make out. And then rustling. 

“Babe, you remember how you said you would do anything to make me happy?” Your voice singsonged through the door over to Steve.

“What?” Steve chuckled as he thought of the day he promised you this. It was a beautiful date. 

“That I could do nothing to ever make you stop loving me?” And then his memory stopped and suspicion settled in his mind instead. 

The spoons he was holding in his hand clanged against the kitchen counter when he craned his neck to hush a look into the hallway in vain. “What did you do?”

A high-pitched yelp echoed in response.

“Sweetheart, what did you do?!” He reiterated in a slight panic. 

But before you could even form a proper response, a desperate ‘NO!’ traveled to Steve, and not even a second later, fast little tippy-tappies came rushing towards Steve and around the kitchen island he was currently standing at. And when you broke through the door, one shoe in hand and the other still on your foot, a decent-sized puppy sprung onto his legs and began licking his jeans. 

“Surpriiiiise...” You tried a smile while hiding the second shoe behind your back, but Steve wasn’t amused at all. 

He stood before you with pink rubber gloves and a sponge in hand while the puppy slobbered away on his newly washed pants. 

“What in the lord’s-”

Your hands shot out. “Okay before you say anything, please let me explain.”

Steve just blinked at you unimpressed. Whatever you were about to say would not change the fact that you brought a literal dirt machine into your apartment. Steve hated dirt. He hated dust and crumbs and hair everywhere. He had seen enough of it in the 40s - back when just a gust of wind would make him sick for weeks. It had changed him so much that, even now when he didn’t get sick anymore, he needed clean spaces more than anything. And you knew that. So, whatever explanation you were about to give him better be good.

“I’m listening.” He said steadily, but the chewing sounds coming from beneath him threw Steve off a bit. He just knew that the dog was eating his pants right now. But he would listen to you anyway.

“I was walking past this alley when I heard something rumbling, right. So, naturally, I checked it out.”

“Naturally, sure.” Steve’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes. And when I looked into the container I saw this little guy staring up at me with the most adorable puppy eyes. He even stopped eating trash when he saw me, it was magical, Steve. You should have seen him, he was so lost and sad. And look at him now. Only 30 minutes with me And he's unrecognizable. We need to keep him. Please can we keep him?” 

“Let me set this straight: you found a dog in the trash eating said trash and smelling like it, too. And your first instinct was to take him home?”

“Steve, have you seen him? He’s adorable!”

“I don’t have to see him, I can smell him from a mile away.”

“Just a mile? That’s not so bad. Did you hear that, Frosty G?” The puppy gave an elated bark before resuming eating Steve’s pants.

“Can we pleeease keep him, Stevie?”

Steve’s eyes swayed from you to ‘Frosty G’ and then back to you again. He held up his stone-cold expression for about ten seconds and then he began to struggle. He wanted to be mad, he really did. But the way both you and Frosty were looking at him with those adorable puppy eyes made his heart go wild. He knew how much you loved animals. And seeing as you had only ever joked about adopting the stray cats you encountered on your walks from time to time, actually bringing one home showed Steve how much it would mean to you if he agreed.

His stare landed on Frosty again, who had stopped eating Steve’s clothes and was neatly sitting next to him now, snout raised and puppy eyes in full swing. Damnit, he was adorable. And he made your puppy eyes great competition. Unfortunately for Steve, the both of you would team up in the foreseeable future. 

“Alright,” Steve sighed in defeat, scrunching his nose when another whiff of Frosty’s odor swept over him as the little guy jumped in excitement. “But he needs to bathe first.”

“Oh my god, thankyouthankyouthankyou!” You ran towards Steve and peppered his face in kisses until the frown disappeared. Maybe this was worth it. 

Not even ten minutes later, Steve and you were kneeling in front of the bathtub, washing Frosty G’s black fur clean. Annoyingly so, the little guy actually enjoyed bathing - a little too much, if you asked Steve. He was splashing and playing in the tub, getting Steve and you good a couple of times. Steve didn’t enjoy it, but then he looked over to you and saw that wholesome brightness on your face and heard that pretty laugh come out of your mouth and all of it was forgotten. 

You spent an hour in the bathroom, lathering and rinsing multiple times (until Steve could tolerate the smell). While one was pouring the water, the other distracted Frosty with a rubber duck. And when you finally finished the water show, sitting on the bathroom tiles with your wrapping the newest roommate in a towel, Steve took his time to look at you and your happy state. 

He watched as you patted the puppy dry, kissed its head multiple times, and cooed at the little guy who was already smitten by you. It was like a reward for the trouble he went through and made it all seem a lot less agitating. 

Steve leaned his head back against the cupboard as he smiled at you. “You named him after Loki didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t help myself, he’s just SO HOT!” You swooned before giving your attention to Frosty again, rubbing his ears dry carefully.

Steve sighed as the puppy looked at him with his tongue out, a smile present on its face - if puppies even could smile - and Steve did the same.

At the end of the day, he just wanted you to be happy. And if housing a cute but still smelly puppy named after his crazy girlfriend’s favorite Villain would make that happen, he’d choose this sacrifice every day anew. 

**alternatively I named the puppy Jamie and then the conversation would have gone a little like this: 

“You named him after Bucky didn’t you.”

“He’s just my favorite idiot,” you smiled dreamily, “I’m sorry, babe. But you’re a close second.”

Steve just sighed with a shake of his head. “That’s alright, he’s mine too...”

**OKAY BYE**

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[naffeclipse]

Me reading the start of the chapter, heart aching: remember it will be alright, they will share cheesy candy in valentines, it will be fine-

Ahhhh, Naff, this story just brings me life!

I knew the start was gonna pull no punches! I was very sure the night terrors would come with a vengeance but wow, the fact that they’re bad enough for y/n to wake up, (and remember them! Because I recall they said they usually didn’t remember what happened in those nightmares!)

And ouch, ouch, ouch, Moon was immediately there, and I wonder if they feel guilty for the terrors because it’s likely the demon encounter that caused them, and they just want to help and comfort them, especially now that it’s gotten so bad, but ahhh, they’re not welcome to do so! Because for y/n it’s exchanging one type of hurt for the other. The fear for their life vs the pain of feeling alone in the presence of someone you care about.

And perhaps they are being a little petty, but as they reflect, the care feels empty without the trust, and letting the boys care for them now feels like a reminder of the wall they can’t seem to get around and for which they don’t have a better explanation than “they don’t think I’m worthy of their trust”. This all just attacks directly the biggest insecurities of the hunter, and the toll it’s taking is clear as day. (Also I noticed there’s not a single ‘sweetie’ in this chapter ;o; ) But aaaaagh, the chosen fabric being set aside killed me! I’d forgotten that little project and now the fact that they don’t even want to look at it? Ahhhh my heart! I rambled so much about the symbolism of it last time and now it hurts all the more!

But oof, even through this fight that seems to have no end in sight, they still care so much for the boys! They take into account how much they care about children and are quick to not let them see the dead little ones. Y/n still wants to protect them as much as they can! And even though asking them to stay behind comes with the brutal honesty of ‘I need space’, they’re still sincere in not wanting to leave them, answering Sun’s question that was probably asking much more than y/n realized. Also, also, I loved the detail of them chastising themselves for thinking Sun’s eyes look red! Even when mad, they’re defensive of the boys and almost seemed like they were insulted on their behalf for daring to let the nightmares insinuate they would be something so vile (oh, honey, if you only knew)

Ha, of course, I didn’t expect the boys to ever stay behind XD They pretended to, as much as they could, and something tells me that that first instance of y/n feeling watched was not the cryptid, but the boys following from afar, since they looked back from where they were walking. Also would make sense, since the boys are familiar with the range of the detector! And they only entered the visible range when the other cryptid got too close. Clever guys! Y/n really should have considered they would be afraid of them not returning and after leaving on such bad terms (Though it seems this demon is pretty familiar with hunters and their tactics too huh?)

Speaking of which! Man, this cryptid! Oh, as soon as I read that it was hunting for tongues specifically and being so brutal about it, I immediately knew this was not gonna help the boys’ case later. What a similarity to have! (And also omg, I am going to make the prediction that this cryptid is so gonna lose its tongue, because there has been some poetic irony with a lot of the previous cryptids hehe).

And ahhhh, Naff, I just gotta say, the way you have established y/n as a capable hunter makes me realize how much I now trust them at it too! As soon as they felt something was off, I paused and thought back of the missing kid and why would the cryptid ever just take one when all others and previous cases have not been like that. And it occured to me that it could be using him as bait! And then I continued reading and y/n was on the same page and I felt so accomplished XD

(Also I gotta comment on how well this cryptid is suited to the desert environment! As soon as I knew there was an ambush, it reminded me of animals like the snake that buries itself in the sand to suddenly attack prey, or the antlion that waits for its prey to fall in its trap! So cool how it follows those types of dynamics!)

But ahhh, following along with the encounter, the dark liquid! I can’t tell you how much it took me by surprise to know that this was a demonic cryptid! The possession! (Can’t help but wonder if the demon made the poor kid kill his friends or if the possession was a last minute decision. But they disappeared a couple days ago, so it would seem he was kept alive. Maybe it always used one of the victims to attract more? )

The liquid! God, the evidence being thrown in y/n’s face, and yet, the unshakeable belief that a demon isn’t capable of anything but cruelty keeps them from (or makes them ignore) all signs that something like that could even remotely be the true nature of their friend! But so many cracks are showing, and soon that belief might not be as unshakable. Lambert agreeing with them for now might reassure them but oh boy, things are about to snap.

And speaking about snapping, hmmmm, next chapter is not gonna start too happy, I can tell. Sun and Moon deliberately went against the wishes of the hunter, which sure they didn’t agree to, but it was clearly something they were meant to listen to. Not only that, in the hunters eyes, they are the cause that the demon ran away. Usually when they intervene, y/n is in a tough spot, and though I agree that Lambert was being reckless, y/n and him did seem to have a chance, as the fight hadn’t quite started yet. The distraction, the idea that Sun and Moon had been in danger all this time, putting them in a bad light from Lambert’s position, AND especially, the fact that the boys seem to not respect their authority as an experienced hunter even when declaring that no cryptid can beat them, all that I can see making y/n really mad.

Oh and lastly, I wanted to comment on Lambert! I really like his character as I imagine he’s more along what the average hunter would be like! He seems more like what the hunter has described of Vanessa, so it makes me think that just like Sun and Moon are unique even among demons, y/n is unique even among hunters! Lambert’s way of doing stuff might not be compatible with theirs, his personality as well, but he obviously does his job well, and seems trustworthy when it comes to covering their back! Also, at the part where we find out his reaction to the night terrors, I imagine perhaps there’s a bit of y/n’s insecurities influencing how they perceived his reaction? He has seen The Horrors too. I doubt he was pitying or ashamed of them. He seemed to understand but this is a stranger and we know he is detached on the emotional side. But that’s just what it seemed like to me! In any case, uuuh, he really is in a tough spot now huh? He’s going against a very brutal demon, and he just accused Sun of being a cryptid, the very thing they’ve been terrified of y/n finding out and the cause of the current fight. Also, demons don’t have hearts so even killing the lizard demon won’t give them a meal so uuuuuh, yeah! Poor Lambert’s chances are… yeah XD

Omg this is so long already hgkfhdkd So as you can see, loved the chapter, so looking forward to the next, I am so excited for what’s coming! Amazing work, Naff!

Chaotik, I just have to say that your comments bring me to life! *smooch ya on the head*

Ahahha, good eye! Not one 'sweetie'. Funny how Y/N isn't in such a petname-giving mood ;-;

That little parting of ways was one of my favorite angsty scenes to write! There's so much hurt and honesty (and lack thereof) but then Y/N walks away from them and it actually doesn't help Y/N to focus or feel better like they desperately wanted it to.

Ah, yes! That was the boys that Y/N felt watching them! They never listen when Y/N tells them to stay behind smh

Hehehe, drinking up your little prediction ♥

YES! The tongue-eater is a cunning, terrible creature! I'm so happy that you trust Y/N as a hunter holding their own!!!

EEE! I'm also really happy you pointed out the animal-like behavior of the tongue-eater setting up a trap! I took a lot of inspiration from desert reptiles for this brute hehe

Lambert is tolerating Sun for the moment, but he's not entirely persuaded; we'll see that later.

You're correct that Y/N is mad and overall still upset with them! The boys, however, have their own bones to pick with Y/N and this particular hunt they went on.

Ah, I'm glad you like Lambert! I'm honestly a little surprised by the reactions to Lambert so far but it's really nice to see everyone discuss what amounts to an OC of mine that's here to help establish worldbuilding and propel the plot along. He is more along the lines of an average hunter! You're also right to point out that the hunter is projecting their insecurities onto Lambert's reaction to being told they have night terrors. Y/N is already so hurt and dishearted (heh) by Sun/Moon not trusting them that they're seeing things that aren't there. Lambert understands. He has nightmares, not night terrors, but nightmares, too, but he's got an iron wall built around his emotional compartment and nothing is getting in or out of that bad boy, so he came off a bit judgemental for not saying much about it. So, a little blame can go around to both of them for that little misunderstanding.

Demonic cryptids don't have hearts, but that doesn't mean there aren't hearts out in the desert. Ya know, waste not, want not.

Ahhh, thank you Chaotik! It's always a treat to read your thoughts and know that you're enjoying my writing! It means the world to me, babe ♥

[ppoppokari]

🖤...overall ship...🖤

@yeeehwa

ahhh hello hello hello! thank you so much for your everlasting patience and it was such a joy to come back and do this ship for you, i just had a really great time writing this!

i also just love having fellow libras come to my blog. I'm actually on the 12th like Jongho but i'm a year older!

anyways enough of me, here is one extra special ship <3 <3

xo

wren xx

~ateez~ seonghwa🖤

I must come clean…. I changed who I was going to ship you with as soon as we got gifted with MATZ and THE stage performance.

MATZ demonstrated Seonghwa’s dynamic personality. He has the most duality known to man, and I truly believe you would be a match made in heaven.

While neither of you fully embrace the bad boy/bad girl persona  you both have enough spice (in both personality and appearance) to be so raw, sexy, and passionate.

I will get into it, but you are both such a good match and what makes it even better is the fact that you are literally compatible on every level, personality, physically and even the stars have aligned because my god astrologically this is such a powerful pairing!

It’s giving the bad boy prince meeting the edgy but soft princess, equally elegant as it is showstopping. If you fell to your knees for him, he would meet you on the floor since he would gladly be on his knees for you.

I’m breaking out of the lavish fanfic-esque aspects of this ship because it would be a colossal mistake if I didn’t address how good your visuals look together, siren adjacent. There is so much depth and unpredictability in both of your eyes, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is apparent that you both have a very dynamic almost-4d personality. In short there is more to both of you than meets the eyes.

Though this ties into your personalities it is also just very complimentary, on the surface it makes sense the two of you would be attracted to each other. It seems presumptuous but you just make sense, even without any in depth explanation, but I will try and describe it.

Both of you are so pretty in a way that can and is lethal but you’re also so pretty and delicate in terms of your features. It’s really a pairing that evokes awe and is bound to evoke minor levels of jealousy from some people around you. Just so perfect and beautiful so endearing as far as visuals go.

I may have fumbled myself through that because I can’t put it into words how good you’ll look together but personality-wise? Strap in because oh my god?! I love love love this pairing, astrologically speaking Libra and Aries can be a very good pairing, you level each other out, making up for each other’s shortcomings but something that is literally so awe-inspiring is how both of you encourage the other to show just how strong they are.

You’re such an open and expressive person who possesses much creativity and this sense of openness to experience and life is something that reinforces that Seonghwa is a fool in love.

Both of you have very passive traits but together you have such bold personalities, you bring out something in each other where you don’t fear anything that could come your way, this could come in the form as big things- random life events, or small things- the words of others that seem to fall to the ground like rain.

I rambled a lot through this but your love of the arts, fashion and the more enjoyable aspects of life is addictive to Seonghwa. Even when he has his more domestic moments he still finds that he positively overreacts to everything you do, he is absolutely in love with everything you stand for .

He can come across as cocky by showing off your relationship he is only doing so because he is absolutely in love with you and he can’t even begin to comprehend what other worldly input some being had to help him find the love of his life.

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 146 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: taking a bubble bath.

"I suppose I do probably owe you some sort of explanation. (big sigh) Right." It’s been a while since we had a statement that made me go: “Nobody writes like that” xD That's something you'd use verbally, but not written down. Maybe it’s one of those dictated statements.

"But dad was weirdly protective of me, kept trying to keep me around, like he was terrified that the world outside was going to hurt me." He kinda was right?

There is something deeply terrifying about luring children into a trap like the Distortion did with the green jumping rope. Horror genre-wise my thoughts immediately jumped to It, when Pennywise baited Georgie with the paper boat. Otherwise, for me personally there seems to be more to this concept because I often have nightmares about this. Can’t remember any event that might have triggered this though. Maybe it’s just a horror favorite of mine. That moment in those nightmares, when I realize it's a lure, always hits so hard...

"Something was holding the other end, and it was trying to pull me. For one, awful moment, I found myself frozen in a tug-of-war with whatever was inside that door, clinging desperately to that rope as it stretched away and vanished into blackness." Getting goosebumps! I love horror stories with something we can't see interacting with our world. (Absolutely loved this in MAG 9 for example, the beast pounding on the door. Or MAG 63, the shadows holding the statement giver's friend. Hm, usually this is a Dark thing...)

"I told my parents, of course, but they didn’t believe me. They just thought I’d lost it, and was making up wild stories to cover it up." Ahhh, typical Spiral, one of these very real fears. I have very bad childhood memories about this. I hated being a child and not being taken seriously or an easy scapegoat. Not that it got better when it comes to being taken seriously... Yeah, really looking forward to MAG 177... /sarcasm

I love the just-a-few-sentences door stories!

"I’m… sorry; I didn’t mean to get so deep into my issues." Ha, effect of the Eye/Archivist presence?

JON: "But now I decide to start looking properly into Hill Top Road, and all of a sudden I’m drawn to rearrange a filing cabinet, and what do I find behind it?" All of a sudden drawn to do something, you say. After digging into Hill Top Road... I mean, at least Jon seems aware of this being weird. That perhaps contributed to him thinking he's being manipulated by the Web (+ trying to deny it's really him seeking out live statements). And... he actually was manipulated, just not in the way he thought...

HELEN: "No. I imagine not. I decided it was time to finish that game a few months ago." A few months ago... like 10 months ago maybe? When Helen came to Jon in MAG 115? And now he comes to her... Luckily not about the feeding thing. Helen steered the conversation into this direction. And Helen is a terrible conversational partner when it comes to talking about their relationships with the Fears. Daisy is way better for this.

HELEN: "Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? (pointed) Don’t we, Archivist?" JON: "Yes." Yeah, pre-empted it in the previous bullet point, Helen knows whats going on and of course she's rubbing salt into that wound. Jon sounds so scared when he answers. Like, he's coming to terms that it's actually him choosing to feed and perhaps that scares him even more than being manipulated into doing it.

HELEN: "There is something wrong with Hill Top Road. You know it as well as I do. Some strange scar on reality at the center of – whatever it is that the Spider is spinning." Oh, the foreshadowing^^

JON: "I, I want to know: Can the Web control another avatar, one that serves a different power? Make them do things they don’t want to, make them –" JON: "– find victims, feed –" [HE BREAKS OFF; HELEN IS CLEARLY GETTING TO HIM.] HELEN: "Oh, perhaps. Perhaps not. Would that make life easier for you? Are you so sure you didn’t want to?" Yeah, that. Helen always knows how to twist the knife.

Just like we heard a few short horror stories about doors, we now get short statements! I wonder, if these were ideas which didn't make it into a full statement.

JON: "I was walking the streets; I – I thought I was trying to clear my head…" DAISY: "But you were hunting." Oh course, Daisy knows that feeling. I'm glad she's here.

JON: "I don’t record anything anymore, not, not really;" Not really-counter of S4: 16!

BASIRA: "You’re a danger, Jon. A monster. You’re hurting innocent people." JON: "So did Daisy." BASIRA: "Shut up. It’s not the same thing at all." DAISY: "Basira. He has a point." Until this point Basira was  admittedly cold towards Jon, but never hostile. Sometimes she even (tried) to help him in a caring way (coffee after trying to Know, telling Jon he doesn't have to look at the Dark Sun...) That ship has sailed now. She wasn't trusting Jon when he woke up and it looked like that gradually changed a bit, but now that trust is destroyed, and even worse, Basira probably feels verified about not wanting to trust Jon. Jon immediately brings up Daisy, he probably thought about this long enough and hoped Basira would cut him some slack because she didn't care about it either when Daisy did it. He kind of throws Daisy under the bus there a bit, but she knows it's true and relevant to Basira. Really, reeeeally glad Daisy is here. She's adds an important perspective to this situation.

BASIRA: "You didn’t know what you were doing." [DAISY MAKES A PAINED SOUND, AS IF TO CONTRADICT HER, BUT STOPS.] BASIRA: "And since you did, you’ve spent every waking hour resisting. He knows exactly what he’s doing." We already heard Daisy's view on this in MAG 142. She said "I hate a lot of what I did back then; doesn’t mean I’m not responsible for it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t me." Basira fully loses the capability of seeing this situation in a more objective way. Seeing, that Daisy was like this as well. But Daisy has been doing this for a lot longer than Jon and probably had a lot of time thinking about it in the coffin and since she's been out. To Jon this is rather new and he has almost no support. No wonder he's not handling it well...

Here's the thing. If you give people the feeling, they have no right to contribute to a discussion, it will scar them and in the future they will handle situations like this badly, even if they get an equal vote. Hmmm, does that come up later...?

MELANIE: "B-Basira – Come, come on." [BASIRA LEAVES, SHUTTING THE DOOR BEHIND HER.] [MELANIE SIGHS.] JON: "Well, that was…" DAISY AND MELANIE: "Shut up." For the comedic effect it was better that Daisy also says "Shut up", but I think it's a bit out of character given the way she just engaged in this conversation.

@a-mag-a-day

[heyiwrotesomethings]

I loved your little Akiko shorts, they melted my heart 🥺 I remember Shinobu and Y/n saying something about adoption. So do you think you could write something about Y/n and Shinobu adopting a child or baby when Akiko is a little older? A boy possibly? It doesn't have to be canon to the other two at all, i'm just curious as to how Akiko would react to a baby sibling.

Parenthood Prt.3

Shinobu Kochou x She /Her Reader Modern AU

A/N: Prt2 Prt4 I’m glad you liked those, thanks! Had some difficulties with this one for some reason, but reading it all together as one piece once I finished it made me feel better about it. Hope you like this one too! Word Count: 6,120

It had started out as any other morning, (Y/n) had gotten herself ready for the day and woke Akiko up to get ready for school while she made breakfast. When Akiko came down stairs and climbed into her chair, she was quieter than usual. (Y/n) took notice right away.

“What’s on your mind, honey?” She asked, pecking Akiko on the forehead once she set her breakfast down before her.

“Momma, where do babies come from?”

Oh no, this question so soon? This was supposed to be Shinobu’s job.

“Uh, where do you think babies come from?” Little did (Y/n) know, she had just opened a huge can of worms.

“Sakura said babies come from mommies and daddies who love each other very much, but I told her she’s wrong because I don’t have a daddy like she does. She said that’s what her momma said, so it’s true and she should know because she has two siblings and another coming and I don’t have any. Now I’m mad at her.”

Oh, (Y/n) and Obanai had wondered why their girls had been so cross at each other when they came to pick them up from school together yesterday. She tried to collect her thoughts and come up with a suitable reply. She really wished Shinobu was awake right now.

“Well, traditionally it is expected that a man and a woman who, uh, love each other will make a baby, yes, but there are other ways too. Like for you, your Kaasan and I talked to a special doctor to have you.” She explained.

“But you still carried me in your tummy like Mitsu-Obachan?”

“Yes, I did.” (Y/n) nodded.

“And how did I get in there? Is it different from how Mitsu-obachan had Sakura?”

‘Ahhh, put me out of my misery.’

“Good morning,” Shinobu yawned, she was still in her pajamas, hair disheveled, milking her day off for all it was worth.

‘Oh thank god.’

“Kaasan knows all about the process, she can answer all of your questions.” (Y/n) kissed her wife good morning and left abruptly.

Shinobu turned in her chair, surprised by (Y/n)’s sudden departure. Slowly, she turned back around and leaned over the table.

“What are we talking about this morning, busy bee?”

“Momma was gonna tell me how I got in her tummy.”

Ah, everything made sense to Shinobu now. She smiled to herself. She never understood why her wife was so nervous about this talk.

“Is that all? I can tell you all about it. When your momma and I decided we were ready for a baby, we went to visit one of my colleagues, a person I work with, to talk about our options. We decided on in vitro fertilisation which is a fancy way of saying we took a piece of your momma and a piece of a nice man from a donor list and then doctor put both of those pieces back inside of your momma to make you!” Shinobu smiled wider, pleased with her own watered down explanation, until Akiko frowned, her lip wobbled noticeably.

“What’s wrong, Akiko?” Shinobu switch chairs to sit next to her daughter and drape an arm around her.

“Why don’t I have a part of Kaasan?” Akiko sniffled, poking Shinobu in the chest. “Why did you need a man to do it? Didn’t you want me?”

Okay maybe (Y/n) was right, this was harder than she thought it would be.

“Of course I wanted you, that’s why we went through all those steps. The way human biology works and how far science is at this point, two women usually aren’t able to make a baby together. And you do have parts of me, honey.“

“I do?” Akiko looked up at Shinobu with big, shiny eyes.

“Mhm, I see quite a bit of myself in you. My mannerisms, my attitude… and you’ll always have a part of my heart.” Shinobu kissed Akiko on the nose and tickled her sides, making the little girl giggle and try to wiggle away. Shinobu eased her attack and pulled Akiko into her lap to hug her more easily and rest her cheek on the top of her head as she rocked in her seat.

“Does that make you feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“Any other questions?”

Akiko was quiet for a minute, thinking, then she asked,

“So is it hard? Is that why I don’t have any siblings like Sakura and Kotaro do?”

“It does take time, and it doesn’t always work. We felt very lucky that you seemed to come so easily. It was a very rewarding experience, but neither your momma nor I were too keen to go that route again.”

Shinobu shifted a little in her seat. She and (Y/n) had discussed adoption. When Akiko was two they got on a list, but that had been about four or five years ago and they hadn’t heard anything back yet. Shinobu had been just about ready to pick up a kid off the street at one point, but they had gotten used to the waiting.

Now she wondered if she should let Akiko know. If they had completed an adoption when she was two or three, it probably would not have mattered whether they tried to explain it to her or not. She certainly was old enough to understand now, but Shinobu didn’t want to get Akiko’s hopes up and disappoint her with how long the wait could be. They could still wait for years to come until they removed themselves from the list.

On the other hand, it would be good for Akiko to know. Shinobu couldn’t imagine Akiko coming home from school at age thirteen or so and be pleasantly surprised by a new sibling suddenly appearing. That’s basically what happened with her and Kanae, and though she loved Kanao dearly, some warning from her parents would have been nice. Shinobu nodded to herself.

“We’ve been on an adoption list for a few years. Do you know what that means?” She asked.

Akiko pursed her lips in thought, her cute little face scrunched.

“I think I heard it before but I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, adoption, in this context, means taking in a child and raising it as your own. We want to take in a child who needs a family.”

“So I could have a sister or brother?” Akiko turned in Shinobu’s lap to face her fully, eyes gleaming.

“Possibly,” Shinobu carefully confirmed, “If our family is deemed a match for someone, then yes, but I want you to remember that we’ve already been waiting a while, and there is no sign that it will be happening anytime soon. Do you understand?”

Akiko nodded vigorously, though she still looked really excited.

A few seconds later, (Y/n) peeked her head around the corner. Eyes flitting between Shinobu and Akiko, searching a bit anxiously.

“We need to start packing up for school. Unless anyone thinks we should call in sick and have an extended talk?”

Before Akiko could enthusiastically call for a day off, Shinobu covered her mouth with her hand, ignoring the slimy tongue that met her fingers in quick retaliation.

“No need for that. Akiko, finish your toast and I’ll get your backpack. We can discuss more after school if you wish.” Shinobu grinned.

Her daughter shot daggers at her and slid off her lap. She nibbled on the toast like a disgruntled mouse while Shinobu walked over to her wife and kissed her quickly, giving her a reassuring side hug as well.

“Everything went fine. See, easy.” Shinobu boasted only loud enough for (Y/n) to hear.

“I’m glad you had such an easy time. It’s because you’re better at explaining these things than I am.” (Y/n) didn’t bat an eye at Shinobu’s smugness. She was just glad she had avoided whatever version of the birds and the bees talk Shinobu gave her.

“There’s still plenty to discuss. I’m sure you won’t be able to hide behind me every time she has a difficult question.”

“Shinobuuuu!” (Y/n) groaned while her wife laughed, amused to have witnessed two near identical expressions in such rapid succession, and passed her by to collect Akiko’s backpack.

All packed up, Shinobu saw her family out and waved at them from the doorway as they drove off. When she couldn’t see the car anymore, she went back inside, grabbed some breakfast and slipped back into bed. Before she could drift back into sleep, her phone rang and it was her turn to groan and curse as she twisted beneath the covers to retrieve her phone from the nightstand.

Pressing the phone to her ear with a gruff greeting, she sat up in bed wide awake once more as she heard the person on the line introduce themself and their reason for calling.

Talk about timing.

***

Akiko was beyond excited, and even a little smug, after having to spend the night with the Kanroji family while her parents had to travel all the way to Hokkaido to pick up her new brother.

Sakura stuck her tongue out at her before she was ushered into the kindergarten classroom by Himejima-Sensei. She was still a little grumpy about her mother’s addendums to her baby explanation, but she would get over it before the day was out.

Akiko strode proudly into her first grade classroom and told everyone who would listen about her new baby brother that would be waiting for her at home.

After school, Shinobu came to pick Akiko up and the little girl bounced up to her and tugged on Shinobu’s shirt excitedly.

“Where is he? Where is Shin?” She chanted excitedly.

“He’s settling in at home with your momma. Ready to go meet him?”

“Yes!” Akiko yelled, rushing to the car to let herself into the back seat.

Shinobu hopped into the driver’s seat and made sure Akiko buckled in before driving back home.

“Now, he’s very shy and more than a little overwhelmed right now so try to hold the excitement back a bit, okay bee?”

“I’ll try!”

It took every fiber in Akiko’s being not to run inside and turn the house upside down. She did however, pass up Shinobu and opened the door, rapidly turning her head from side to side.

When no one was immediately visible, she assumed they must be up in the guest room. Well, what was previously the guest room.

Akiko speed walked up the stairs and peaked her head into the room, surprised to see a small boy who only looked a little younger than her, coloring with (Y/n) on the floor.

“That’s not a baby.” Akiko noted, pushing the door all the way open so she could walk in.

The boy’s head shot up and he froze for a moment, before he scooted to hide behind (Y/n) who chuckled softly.

“It’s alright, Shin. It’s only Akiko, the girl I’ve been telling you about.”

“You’re my new brother?”

“Akiko, come sit. Where is your Kaasan?”

“Here,” Shinobu called from the hall and stepped inside, “I was left in the dust.”

“I’m confused.” Akiko sat down and looked at the scribbles Shin had made, “I thought you were getting a baby. He’s too big to be a baby.”

(Y/n) and Shinobu laughed and Shin peaked his head around, trying to decipher what was so funny. They hadn’t realized Akiko was expecting a newborn baby, but perhaps they could have been more clear. It all happened so suddenly that there hadn’t been time for much discussion.

“You’re right, he isn’t a baby,” (Y/n) craned her head back to look at Shin, “can you show Akiko how old you are?”

The boy scooted further behind (Y/n), but after a few moments, his hand came into view, three little fingers on display.

“This many.” He quietly shared and then his hand disappeared once more.

Akiko moved on her hands and knees to peer behind her mother and show Shin her own hands.

“I’m six!” She excitedly shared.

This wasn’t so bad. Sure, she expected a tiny baby, but she had seen plenty of babies between the Kanroji family and her new baby cousin, Yuya. Babies were always sleeping or crying. They couldn’t talk or play, but Shin could!

“Can I color with you? Do you wanna play Candy Land? Do you wanna play tag? Do you wanna try hanafuda? I can teach you.”

“One thing at a time, busy bee.” Shinobu chuckled. “We have all the time in the world.”

Shin peeked out from behind (Y/n) again and whispered with big eyes,

“Candy Land?”

“Candy Land!” Akiko ran out of the room to retrieve the game.

***

“Are you kidding me? The plum?” Shinobu groaned.

She was almost to the Queen Frostine portion of the board when she drew the next card to reveal a plum that would be taking her nearly to the beginning of the game.

She hated Candy Land. It was so simple, but she could never win! Well, she was playing with her kids (kids, plural! AH!) and she would rather have one of them win, but still! It was an insult!

“Too bad, Kaasan.” Akiko shook her head.

“Too bad.” Shin parroted, looking genuinely upset on Shinobu’s behalf. Such an empathetic boy.

“It’s alright,” Shinobu sighed, “the peanut brittle card is still in there I think. I’m not out of this yet.”

Shinobu stayed to play Candy Land with the children while (Y/n) went to get dinner ready. She was happy to see that though Shin still appeared nervous, he was willingly engaging with them and seemed to be having a good time despite his nerves. She was glad Akiko was such a good kid, Shin needed a good big sister like her in his life.

“Your turn, Shin.” Akiko reminded him.

Shin reached out and gently took a card from the pile, revealing double purples.

“Lucky! You’re almost there!” Akiko cheered as Shin carefully moved his yellow gingerbread man onto the second closest purple space on the path before him.

“My turn!”

Akiko drew her card, a single green square. Now if she could just get a purple, she would win! It was the same for Shin too, however. It was neck and neck… except for Shinobu who bitterly took her next card.

“Really?!” Shinobu landed on a cherry pit, dooming her to stay on the orange space she had landed on until she picked another orange card.

She groaned and laid out on the floor like she had been shot. Akiko laughed and plopped down hard on Shinobu’s stomach, knocking the wind out of the poor woman.

Shin watched the scene with a sense of fascination, but when Akiko called for him to join her when Shinobu gained the upper hand by flipping her over and laying all of her dead weight on the little girl, Shin did not join in on the roughhousing. Instead, he took the next card, revealing the purple card he needed to win.

“Aw, what?” Akiko crawled out from under her mom to look at the card more closely before conceding her defeat. “You won, good job, Shin! I almost had you though.”

“Thank you for putting me out of my misery, bud.”

Shinobu held out her hand expecting a high five, but Shin didn’t seem to understand what she was doing. He did however, take hold of her hand which made Shinobu smile.

She had been a little worried that Shin didn���t like her. She knew they had known each other for less than a week, and that this was a big change in the child’s life, and she knew he would grow more comfortable as time went on and he felt like he was in a stable, safe environment, but she couldn’t help but be a little worried. Small moments like this reassured her that she must be doing something right.

“How is it going up here?” (Y/n) asked, peeking into the room.

“Shin won! Kaasan lost.” Akiko relayed helpfully.

“Hey, you didn’t exactly win either.” Shinobu reminded.

“I sure did better than you though.” Akiko said smugly.

“Oh ho, you are just asking for it, huh?”

“Hey, let’s not start anything. Dinner is ready, come on.” (Y/n) gestured for the three to follow her out.

Shinobu stood up with a small grunt of effort, Shin still gripped however many of her fingers his little hand could hold. She pointed her free hand towards Akiko.

“This isn’t over.”

Akiko giggled and stuck her tongue out at Shinobu before taking off down the hall after (Y/n), looking for a barrier of safety.

Shinobu shook her head and smiled down at Shin.

“Hungry, bud?

Shin looked up at her, a puzzled look on his face. Then he stated matter-of-factly,

“Shin, not bud.”

Shinobu chuckled, “You are right. I’m sorry. Do you not like that nickname?”

Shin didn’t seem to have anything more to say on the subject. He pointed to the door and looked at Shinobu expectantly.

“Din’der?”

“Yeah, let’s go eat dinner.” Shinobu led Shin out of his room and followed (Y/n) and Akiko downstairs.

Dinner went well. While everyone enjoyed their meal, (Y/n) and Shinobu discussed the arrival date of the rest of Shin’s belongings and whether or not they should shop for room decor and clothes online or in person.

They felt like new parents all over again. Only this time nothing seemed ready. You would think that the agency would have given them more time to actually prepare for the boy after having them wait for years without so much as a peep.

They were still virtually strangers to their son, and he was so shy and withdrawn. It was hard not to just scoop him up and shower him with love. Shinobu remembered when Kanao first came home it was similar, only she had been older than Shin was now. It took weeks for her to even say a full sentence. Granted, Kanao’s situation had been more volatile than Shin’s from what they knew, but they thought it was no less important that they only went as far as Shin was willing to go until they had established a strong foundation of trust with him.

“What do you think, Shin? Do you want to take a train to go to a big store with a lot of people or look at pictures online and pick that way?” (Y/n) asked.

Shin didn’t seem to know how to answer that question and continued munching on his dumplings.

“We can start simpler. How about a color to paint your room?” Shinobu asked. “I know you said you like yellow, do you want yellow walls?”

Shin seemed to perk up a bit at the idea.

“Tomorrow we’ll look at colors then and you can decide which one you want, okay?”

Shin gave a short, jerky nod and a small smile creeped over his lips.

“My room is green. You should come see it.” Akiko grinned. “I got a bunch of bugs and flower stickers too. You come to my room and I’ll show you all of them.”

“That’s a good thought, Akiko.” (Y/n) praised, “Are there and animals you like, Shin? Or other things like sports, airplanes, space?”

“Stars?” Shin perked up, “stars?”

“You like stars?” Shinobu asked. She was excited that Shin was excited, but did her best to keep her voice calm.

“Stars.” Shin confirmed.

“Well, that’s certainly a start.” (Y/n) smiled at Shinobu.

Just take it one step at a time.

After dinner, Akiko and Shin washed up and went back upstairs so Akiko could tell Shin all about her bugs. As (Y/n) and Shinobu washed the dishes and put away the leftovers, they talked.

“They seem to be getting along so far.” (Y/n) noted, listening to the little feet pound up the stairs.

“It helps that Akiko is so friendly. She’s grown a lot.” Shinobu nodded, handing (Y/n) another dish to dry.

While their parents were talking downstairs, Akiko paraded Shin around her room and showed him every bug and flower that adorned her walls and gave him a little fact about each one.

He was a little afraid of the spider stickers, but he received the other information well.

“Come on, let’s make a fort!” Akiko urged, already pushing her desk chair closer to her bed.

Shin watched her drape a some of her blanket over the chair and tuck another corner under a pile of books on her shelf, making a roof over the space near the edge of her bed. Then, she encouraged Shin to join her in piling a bunch of pillows and stuffed animals within the space.

“Isn’t this cool?”

Shin nodded.

“Make yourself comfy and I’ll show you the book of flowers Kanae-Obachan gave to me. You’re gonna really like her, she’s very nice. Nemi-Ojisan may look a little scary, but he’s nice too. And then there’s Kotaro and Yuya, they’re our cousins and there’s Kanao-Obachan too, and the Kanroji’s are like family too and… hm, woah, there’s a lot of people for you to meet. They’ll all like you a lot so you don’t have to be scared.”

Shin didn’t really appear to be listening as he pages through the flower book to look at all the pictures. It was probably too much for him to think about anyway. Occasionally he’d point out a flower to Akiko and she would tell him what it was called and what the page said about it.

When (Y/n) and Shinobu finished cleaning up, they headed up stairs and seeing the light coming from Akiko’s room, they entered.

“Awwww,” (Y/n) hugged Shinobu from the sheer adorableness of it all, “look at them!” She whispered excitedly.

Shinobu returned the hug and looked on with a fond expression.

Within the crudely made fort, Akiko and Shin slept soundly, surrounded by stuffed animals and opened books. It took everything for the two women to keep their voices low as they observed the scene together. If they could have stayed to watch them all night, they would have, but they needed to sleep too.

Shinobu turned off the light, and quietly closed the door. Then the parents went to their bedroom and wondered fondly what the future would bring.

***

“Good job, Shin.” Shinobu praised.

Shin tilted his head down and smiled shyly.

The yellow paint, glow stars, and solar system stickers had arrived and it became a family effort to paint the room. Children supervised of course.

Shin painted dutifully in the lower corner of the room while Akiko went a little wild with it and painted a whole stripe around the perimeter, minus the window thanks to (Y/n)’s quick reaction.

They took a break for lunch while the first coat dried and then went right back at it.

“Hey!” (Y/n) gasped and looked down at her calf, now sporting a stripe of yellow.

She was about to scold Akiko for the act, but caught her wife’s mischievous smile and casted a playful glare her way.

“Shinobu!”

“Uh oh, Kaasan’s in trouble.” Akiko giggled.

“Hm? I’m just painting the room like everyone else. Right, Shin?”

Shin shook his head, selling Shinobu out instantly and sealing her fate.

“Oh? Darling, there appears to be something on your cheek,” (Y/n) dipped her finger in the paint tray and swiftly swiped it across Shinobu’s nose and cheek before her wife could escape.

“Oops, I made it worse.”

“Come here you!”

“Ah haha!”

Shinobu grabbed her wife around the waist and rubbed her face on (Y/n)’s rumpled old shirt.

Akiko was full of delight, laughing and taking turns cheering for one mother over the other depending on who looked like they had the upper hand.

Shin looked a little perplexed by the tussle, but seemed entertained regardless, clapping along with Akiko when Shinobu finally had (Y/n) wheezing breathlessly on the ground from laughing too much.

And then mischievous purple eyes framed with smudged yellow paint turned their attention on the two children. Without looking away, Shinobu dipped her already yellowed fingers with a fresh coat of paint, prompting her daughter to shriek.

“She’s gonna paint us!” Akiko tried to dance around her mom and dart out the door, but Shinobu was faster and lined Akiko’s arm with yellow polka dots.

“Nooo!” Akiko giggled and swiped at her arm, wiping the excess on Shinobu’s shirt.

Shin stared up at Shinobu with big eyes and made no attempt to retreat. Shinobu crouched down before him with a gentle smile.

“Boop!” She pressed a single dot of paint upon the back of his hand.

Shin, looked at the dot and rubbed at it, causing it to smudge. He then looked to Shinobu again and offered his arm expectantly.

“You want more?” Shinobu confirmed, before dotting more blobs of paint up the boy’s arm.

He giggled quietly and presented his arm, showing how they all matched.

They finished painting the room much slower than they should have, but they had a blast doing it. The clean up was a little messy, but once they were all clean they left the room alone to dry and headed downstairs to rest and watch a movie.

Shin surprised Shinobu by crawling into her lap to watch the colorful characters on screen. Was this what cat and dog people felt like when they were chosen to be a resting spot? Shinobu refrained from getting up or adjusting her seat until Shin got up of his own volition to join Akiko on the floor. She was relieved for the opportunity to stretch a bit but she did miss the contact.

Then (Y/n) laid down to rest her head in Shinobu’s lap and she didn’t feel as disappointed anymore.

They ordered dinner in that night and made sure everyone completed their nightly routine since it had been skipped out on the night before. Shin slept in Akiko’s room again while the paint dried in his room over night.

Everything seemed to be going so well. It really looked like it would be smooth sailing.

Until Shinobu had to go in to work three week later.

Even though she and (Y/n) had requested time off and Shinobu had cashed in a good chunk of her vacation days, there was something going on with an experiment that only she seemed to be able to fix.

She begrudgingly got ready to leave for the lab said her goodbyes and was nearly out the door when Shin grabbed her jacket, pulling her back.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be back in a couple hours,” she stroked his hair, “You‘ll be okay.”

“No go!” Shin cried, attempting to pull Shinobu back into the living room.

“Oh, sweetie, I’ll be back. Momma will play with you.”

“It’s alright, Shin. Want to play more Candy Land?” (Y/n) suggested, crouching before him.

“No go! No go!” Shin sobbed into Shinobu’s legs.

Both women looked at each other with troubled expressions. It was just about enough to make them want to cry as well. He was growing attached to them, which was good, but now he was afraid to be without them.

Like when Akiko had to go back to school on Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and… well, yeah.

And there was when (Y/n) had gone outside to do some yard work without telling anyone and Shinobu could not understand why Shin was so upset until (Y/n) finally came back inside and he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her legs. He didn’t leave her side for the rest of the day.

It was a difficult situation to be in. They knew his fear of abandonment was very real and strong, but as much as they would like to, they couldn’t be together all the time. He would need to learn to trust that the risks were not as high as he believed.

Shinobu crouched to the ground and wrapped Shin up in her arms for a few beats before pushing him back a bit to talk to him on his level.

“I know, I know, you want me to stay, but it’ll be like when we leave Akiko at school, I’ll be back.”

“No go!”

“Hey,” Shinobu softly coaxed, “don’t cry, you won’t be alone. You have momma, see? She’ll be with you the whole time, isn’t that right?”

“That’s right.” (Y/n) nodded, kneeling beside Shin, “We could draw, read, or play a game…”

“No!”

“Oh dear.”

“What if you two just came in with me.” Shinobu suggested.

“Are you sure?”

“Maybe if he knows where I’m going, it’ll seem less scary? I don’t know. I don’t want to leave you to try to calm him down yourself.”

“It wouldn’t be the first upset child I’ve faced, but yeah, maybe we should give it a shot.”

And then the doorbell rang.

“Oh what now?” Shinobu groaned, rising to her feet, she turned to open the door and was surprised to see her sisters and baby Yuya until she remembered they had planned to visit for the day.

“Bad timing?” Kanao smiled sympathetically.

“Oh no, poor little man.” Kanae cooed, “What’s wrong?”

Shin hiccuped and rubbed his eyes. He looked between the new woman and his Kaasan, noting their similar faces.

“I completely forgot you guys were coming today. I got called in to take care of some lab issues and Shin won’t let me go… it totally slipped my mind, come on in, please.” Shinobu ushered.

“That’s alright, happens to the best of us.” Kanae teased. She handed Yuya off to (Y/n) who took him happily, and crouched at Shinobu’s feet to get a better look at the little boy clinging to her sister.

“Hi! My, you sure are cute!”

“Long hair… Kaasan?” Shin questioned.

Kanae chuckled and shook her head, “I’m Kanae, your Kaasan’s sister, your aunt!” Kanae pulled Kanao down with her, “and this is Kanao, your Kaasan’s other sister, and your other aunt.”

“Hello.” Kanao smiled.

“Hi…” Shin hiccuped, half hiding behind Shinobu.

Shinobu’s nose wrinkled a bit when she felt him rub his runny nose on her pants. But such was life with small children.

“Will you tell me why you’re so sad, Shin?” Kanae asked.

“Kaasan no go.” Shin explained as best he knew how and Kanae nodded in understanding.

“I see. You don’t want your Kaasan to go, but she needs to go help make people feel better.”

Ever sweet and patient Kanae could have had Shin eating out of the palm of her hand as she spoke to him. (Y/n) and Shinobu started at each other in slack jawed awe at Kanae’s prowess. Before long, Shin was kissing Shinobu on the cheek goodbye and tentatively sidling up to (Y/n) and baby Yuya.

“Uh, I’ll be back in a couple hours.” Shinobu blinked, opening the front door, “I’ll pick Akiko up after I’m done… and Kotaro too of course, then you better teach me your secrets, Nee-san.”

Kanae laughed and nodded, “Will do! Don’t worry about Kotaro, he has baseball practice and Sanemi will take him home when he’s done.”

“Drive safe.” Kanao waved.

“Love you.” (Y/n) waved using Yuya’s tiny hand.

“Love you, see ya in a bit.” Shinobu stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

Shin didn’t cry again, but knowing that Shinobu would be gone for awhile left him looking very uneasy.

“Shin, want to show your aunts what a good job you did decorating your room?” (Y/n) suggested. Hopefully a little distraction would ease his mind for at least a little while.

“You like stars?” He asked Kanae and Kanao seriously.

“I love stars.” Kanae swore.

“Stars are cool. We’d love to see them.” Kanao agreed.

“When you turn the light off they glow.” Shin told them as they climbed the stairs.

Kanae and Kanao ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ at all the right times. Even though Kanao still wasn’t very well versed in deciphering the speech of small children, despite now having one niece, three nephews, and there were a couple of the Kamado siblings to take into account as well, she followed the cues of the young boy’s excitement and reacted accordingly.

They spent a lot of time playing in Shin’s room. And a few hours later, just as promised, Shinobu came home with Akiko and Shin went down the stairs as fast as he could when he heard the door open.

“Hi, Shin!” Akiko skipped right up to him, an unruly, giant piece of paper in her hands, Look what I made in school. It’s a family portrait!” She puffed her chest out proudly, “I got full marks in it.”

“That me?” Shin pointed.

“Yeah, and me and Momma and Kaasan.”

“That looks beautiful, Akiko. Well done.” (Y/n) praised as she walked down the stairs with the rest of the group.

“Kanao-obachan!” Akiko pounced on her younger aunt.

“Hey,” Kanao for her arms up to catch the girl just before she was completely bowled over.

“What about me?” Kanae faux pouted.

“And me.” (Y/n) matching Kanae’s pout.

Ever since Akiko was a baby, she seemed to gravitate towards Kanao, and Giyuu as well when he was around. She just liked the quieter types apparently. Akiko insists that Kanao is the funniest person she knows, but whatever Kanao did to led her to that conclusion seemed to be a secret between the two. As neither would elaborate on the matter.

“Just a second!” Akiko promised.

She whispered in Kanao’s ear and received a whisper in turn that had her howling with laughter.

“Seriously, what is so funny?” Shinobu was at her wits end with those two, especially when all Kanao gave her was a smile and a shrug.

“You wouldn’t get it Kaasan, you’re too old.” Akiko not so helpfully explained.

“I’m only a couple years older than her!” Shinobu cried indignantly.

Shinobu got her revenge by whispering a plea of assistance in her ear. They laughed and when Akiko asked what was funny, Shinobu’s eyes sparked with victory as she replied smugly,

“You wouldn’t get it, you’re too young.”

Akiko stuck her tongue out at her mother as she gave Kanae and Yuya a hug.

Shin, tugged on Shinobu’s hand and cupped his other hand over his ear.

“You want to hear?” Shinobu kneeled down and whispered a bunch of nonsense into Shin’s ear, making him giggle.

“Hey!” Akiko accused, “he’s younger than me, why’s he get to hear?”

“Shinobu, you are treading on thin ice.” (Y/n) warned. Her wife tended to tease too much sometimes.

“Okay, okay, come here.” Shinobu motioned Akiko over and gave her the same nonsense babble treatment and instead of laughing, she looked shocked.

“How did you figure it out?” She turned to Kanao, “We need to come up with a new code, Kanao-obachan.”

***

When Yuya began to get fussy, Kanae took it as a sign that they had better head home. Everyone got their hugs in and though Shin looked anxious to see them leave, another reassurance from Kanae eased him.

“Seriously, how?” Shinobu shook her head, arms crossed.

“Your sisters are just magical I guess.” (Y/n) answered.

“And what about me?” Shinobu batted her eyelashes.

“Debatable.”

Shinobu pursed her lips and (Y/n) took off into the house, using Shin and Akiko as shields.

Shin giggled and squealed right alongside Akiko as Shinobu charged in.

“Save me!” (Y/n) beseeched, ushering the children forward, “Together we can win!”

“Are you turning our children against me now? Hey!”

Shinobu was lowered to the ground by the weight of three bodies pulling her to the ground.

“Traitors!” Shinobu laughed.

When Shinobu stopped struggling, they took a breather, all laid out on the floor together.

“Candy Land?” Shin asked when everyone caught their breath.

“Candy Land!” (Y/n) and Akiko answered.

“Ugh, fine.” Shinobu sighed, though she smiled.

When it was time to go to bed, (Y/n) and Shinobu tucked Shin and Akiko into Shin’s bed.

“It’s Friday,” Akiko had reasoned. She didn’t have school so she could stay up a little later and have a sleepover with Shin.

The parents took turns reading a couple of books and when they finished, they kissed the children goodnight and wished them sweet dreams. They turned off the lights and the stars on the ceiling glowed faintly.

When the door closed, Akiko and Shin pointed at the stars and made up constellations until they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore.

Shin fed off of the love and joy that surrounded him and looked up at the glowing stars on his ceiling once more before his tired eyes fell shut.

Even if he ever found himself among those celestial bodies and far away someday, he knew he’d feel the love he found here no matter how far away he was.

He felt at home.

[godtier]

Are you going to write anymore fanfics? I didn't realize you were the one that wrote "unsaid" best fic of Vile/Zero fic 🥺❤️

AHHH y-yes that was me... 😭 thank you for such kind words about the fic!!

as for writing more, i am!! it's just been A Process...

the tl;dr: yes, i am in fact working on more fics!

the backstory: "unsaid" was written during the COVID lockdowns in my area. around that time, i was also laid off from my previous job. as such, i had LOADS of free time and nothing to do. it was relatively easy for me to bang out nearly 38K of words at that time, esp since i was depressed for being stuck inside and not having a job (i need socialization of some sort to function lol)

in the past, i have NEVER been able to complete a chaptered fic, especially not one of that length. it's not for lack of trying; i have tons of unused outlines in my drafts that were all set-ups for various fic storylines from many different fandoms that never came to fruition. it's partially my ADHD and partially my perfectionism; i have a very "get it done right the first time" mentality and it's actually a detriment to me when it comes to creating almost anything lmao.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, i am indeed working on further v/z fics! two of which are smut-oriented (oops) and almost completed, and the other is actually a continuation of "unsaid." the continuation is hung up at the moment because i'm still working out the storyline progression kinks. since i am now employed (and have been for a few years since the lockdowns actually), it takes more time to sit down and work on stuff, sadly. i want to make the continuation better than the first part and i really struck lightning with the plot of that one; it just sort of unfolded organically for me.

at the very least, if i'm unable to do a direct continuation of "unsaid," i'll definitely write smth for them again anyway! this year is packed and busy for me wrt work and my social obligations (mostly weddings... kill me), so i try to sneak in some writing whenever i can. i really have more to explore within the "unsaid" setting, so one way or another, i'm gonna keep going! 😤 it just may take some time...

ANYWAY SORRY FOR THAT HUGE EXPLANATION LMAO and thank you for the interest/support of the fic! 🥺❤️

[sskim-milkk]

Ahhhh okay I have SO many thoughts about this week's episode!

BAD BATCH S2 E9 SPOILERS AHEAD

The music in the episode was so, so good! They've been killing it so far with the soundtrack this season, and this week's was no exception

Love the western vibes, not only with the music but the planet too. Also their mission being to go into a mine in the west? Old, Wild, Wild West vibes and I love it!

Hunter's hair blowing in the wind SO MUCH IN THIS EPISODE AHHH SO HOOTTT HNNNGGG

They're all taking Echo's leave so hard :( this does make me wish they'd given his character more development last season. We did get some glimpses of him wanting to help clones and bring down the Empire, but not much. I'm so glad he had his moments to shine this season, I just wish we could've seen more of it last season too.

Poor Omega :( I'm sure she felt very isolated this episode. Everyone doesn't seem to be taking Echo's absence as hard as she is

THE BICKERING oh my goodness! I think this is happening both because of Echo's absence and just the overall mission not going well. The factors were not in their favor. The storm, stampede, the mine not being as rich in ipsium as they thought, the thief nearby. All of it

Poor Hunter trying ever so hard to be the diplomat and keep the peace. He was such a dad in this episode oh my goodness

TECH AND OMEGA YESSSS!!!! Their conversations this episode were just mmmmm so good!! I'm so happy with both of their character development. The fact that it was basically confirmed that Tech is neurodivergent like ahhh I love! It's so important to have this representation in media :)

Omega was able to see another perspective and view point on things and we got to see Tech's side of things. While he probably does miss both Crosshair and Echo, he's learned that he has to adapt to it (there are other people on here that have much better explanations of this than I do. But in short ahhh I just loved it!

Perhaps we will see The Batch leaving Cid this season? We've gotten hints throughout the season and Cid unwillingness to help them at first is definitely another

UGH I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER 5 DAYS FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

I hope they get their ship back! That has Gonky and Lula on there!

[hollyhomburg]

OH MY GOD I KNEW IT I CALLED IT!!! I WAS LIKE "okay jin is working late, but hes in the fbi and knows about yoongi, so hes working late maybe because of yoongi and the pack/mob," then "jimin would know whos in yoongis family because hes an assassin, so hes gonna miss someone coming in because hes not facing the door. who from yoongis family is gonna pop in" anyway welcome to my brain, sorry, you literally have had this planned out you didnt need my inner thought process hahaha. i absolutely loved this chapter, from jimin being possessive and the mc and jimin living on tae, to tae's poem, it was lovely. i love how you wrote jimin reacting to the poem: "i didnt know tae wanted to be beautiful" or something like that, just, your writing is fantastic and vivid and lovely, you write love and falling in love so beautifully. ive never been in love and dont know if i will (lmao) but this made me feel like i have been?? and the way that you wrote tae's poem is beautiful, it ties into everything about the mc and the love they have for tae and the love tae has for the mc. also the bar they went to was so vivid in my head, it was great. and JACKSON HAHAHAHAHAHA amazing, love love love.

thank you for two updates in one weekend, im sure it was exhausting and tiring and mentally not great, so thank you for all if your hard work, it has surely paid off. hopefully you can get some rest!!! thank you again!! i hope you have a nice rest if your sunday and a nice week!!

hmmmmmm this ask makes me curious what people are going to think when the finally find out what's keeping jin occupied 👀

i think one of the things that im afraid of like- for the characters- like when i tell you that Jimin has absolutely zero idea about tae being trans...Jimin has no clue. that reaction- that fall out- i at least wanted to like- start a bit of that thought process in this chapter so that it will be better set up, i know people are really excited for tae to come out and i want to do it justice!!!

ahhhhh i'm so happy i can give you the taste of a bit of love, the kind that we'll all hopefully get some day soon <3 ahhhhhh wow i'm never going to be able to get over people praising tae's poetry in this cuz i ngl thought it was kinda a little...less than it could have been but! if it makes others happy there is no reason i should be dissatisfied with it!

and ahhh- im taking a bit of a rest few days and letting my brain recuperate, im thinking a good rest activity might be to finally go back and edit the first few chapters of bily and really give them a hard read-through so that i can record the little hints of the story for the eventual explanation thats going to have to go on!

thank you for your lovely review of this chapter!!!

[cocksuki2]

i haven’t delved into how deep the jjk cast is yet besides gojo and toji but i really like maki bc she’s just like toji. whole time she was wiping out her clan i was her personal cheerleader behind the screen. but please elaborate on maki bc you have the best explanations!!

AHHH THANK YOU FOR ASKING. also sorry this took me a minute to get to i got VIOLENTLY distracted!! but i have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT MAKI!!!

okay, so maki is essentially the same as toji in the sense that she has no cursed energy because of heavenly restriction. however, at the beginning of the series it seems like her physical abilities, while great, were not on the same level as toji's. it's SUPER interesting bc YES maki had heavenly restriction placed on her from birth but she doesn't seem to gain any of the plus sides of it.

as of now, we know of three characters who underwent heavenly restriction; toji, maki, and mechamaru. toji, in exchange for all of his cursed energy, gained a superhuman body with superhuman strength. mechimaru, in exchange for his arm, feeling in his legs, and skin, gained an IMMENSE level of cursed energy that allowed him to use a cursed puppet from a GREAT distance. but maki... didn't really gain anything special even though she's a great fighter and it's entirely because of mai.

in the jujutsu world, twins are seen as the same person—two halves of the same whole. they share the same cursed energy and their potential for growth is limited to the growth of the other. maki and mai are special however because maki has heavenly restriction which interferes with mai's cursed energy. mai possesses very little cursed energy bc of maki's heavenly restriction and maki is unable to awaken her heavenly restriction because of mai's use of cursed energy. both of them are at a disadvantage because of the existence of the other. so long as mai's cursed energy exists in the world, maki is unable to reap the benefits of heavenly restriction and mai, so long as maki exists, will consume immense amounts of her cursed energy using her technique (one bullet a day). not only this, but one can only grow so much as the other does and since mai has no desire to grow, no amount of training can make maki any stronger than she is.

now, aside from this being incredibly poetic, it also means that (with mai's resistance towards growth) maki is incapable of growing the way other sorcerers are so long as the other is alive. it's why having twins is taboo in the jujutsu world. it's why they both resent each other for seemingly trivial reasons. because they are holding each other back by just existing.

this completely changes when mai dies. mai, maki's literal other half, dies and her cursed energy no longer exists. this means that maki is now considered one person and gets to reap the benefits of heavenly restriction and that her growth is NOT limited to how much mai grows. that's why, after mai's death, maki seems to be on an entirely different level. it's because SHE IS. her power level is literally altered by mai's death. because mai's death took away what little cursed energy she had (bc twins are considered the same person) she was able to achieve her true potential (which is similar to toji's).

all of this is explained and implied in the manga but (as with most jjk lore) i didn't really get it until i looked it up afterwards. this link basically says what i did but in much better words (it's the one i used to read up on it). plus it's got some rly cool theories, ESPECIALLY THE ONE ABT ITADORI'S POSSIBLE HEAVENLY RESTRICTION.

it's horribly sad but it also means that in a short span of time, two jujutsu anomalies were born; toji and maki. however, maki was unable to awaken her heavenly restriction because of mai, delaying the presence and strength she SHOULD have because of it. so it's safe to assume that, just as toji seemed to exist outside of the ropes of fate, maki does too. im assuming that she will play a role with tengen and the six eyes, as it's likely that she's also able to alter the course of fate in the same way toji did.

not only this, but maki singlehandedly wiped out one of the big three jujutsu clans which no doubt will have an effect on the cursed energy of the world. that is SO MUCH cursed energy lost in a day.

she is VERY cool in the same way that toji is VERY cool. i think she might play a part in freeing gojo from the prison realm since she is already a criminal of the jujutsu world. she doesn't have the society to lose that everyone else does since they have rejected her time and time again. not to mention her sheer power. as of now, i think she's probably one of the strongest characters in the series, on par with gojo now.

honestly, i think it could be a new cycle of fate ties, bringing someone with no cursed energy bc of heavenly restriction into the tie between the six eyes, tengen, and the star plasma vessel.

im SO PUMPED to see the role she plays.

[hyunjinspark]

okay so i read part 3 of star lost the second it came out but since i wanted to savour it a bit and give my opinion on it i decided to wait until i can properly reread it again and !!! its !!! so !!! good !!!

each chapter gets me soo excited for the next one ahhh!!

so for this update theres a few things i wanted to acknowledge (i tried to leave out things that have been said by others a lot already and im also gonna split my ask in two bcs it ended up being more than anticipated)

so first of all, i love seungmin and yns relationship (well friendship) and i hope to see more of it soon!! they seem comfy with each other and the way you write it makes it really simple to read too!!

then something that i dont think anyones mentioned yet? the fact that when felix was brought up after the double date hana said “He’s too protective of her, although a part of me thinks - ” (i dont think if im missing the explanation for this but it piqued my curiosity a lot hehe) and the fact that yn interrupted hana too...

then also the overall tension between hyunjin and yn is written sooo well throughout the whole chapter (previous ones too ofc) i love reading it!! also love how its not one sided and hyunjin seems very interested in yn

as others mentioned already, the scene where yn said no to hyunjin walking her home was so hrfhekffa i would have loved to see it happen but i get why it didnt,,,

(bear with me i took notes on the chapter and i have some stuff left to say)

ik a lot of people dislike hana a bit after what she did and said and while i initially felt the same, a certain line caught my attention upon rereading “A part of you knew that if it had been Yeonjun winning her the lion, she would have absolutely loved it, and seen the worth in it." and it redeemed her a bit for me,, it makes it pretty obvious how hana feels towards hyunjin and why she acts the way she does. also her saying "He came back to town at such a perfect time, too, just when I decided to move on. I think it may be meant to be” makes it obvious that she somewhat sees hyunjin as a rebound, though not intentionally...

ah yes felix!! i cant wait to see more of him in future chapters and his relationship with yn is sooo interesting to me since it hasnt been explained that much (i think); them holding hands? being all cute? him saying he knows yn better than hana? his reaction to the whole situation? im excited for the development...

1/2

-🦥

hiii love !!! im so happy you liked it ! im so glad you like their friendship, seungmin is so easy to write tbh, and his personality is fun to explore, im excited to write more of him too!

you’re one of the few that brought that scene up yes 👀 yn definitely interrupted hana on purpose at that point.

it makes me very satisfied that you love the tension between them, because that’s the crux of the story (the first half of it at least) the fact that you took notes ?? ily 📝

a lot of their relationships are in the dark, and not explicitly stated since they’ll be revealed as time goes on, but writing felix is that so fun 😭 it’s ambiguous and he’s so funny to characterize. im going through a major yongbok phase so that also probably helps 😭

[6452291-1]

Colors - Part 2

Summary: Jersey has always been fascinated by color, she loves the way they contrast and change. Painting has always been her outlet she can’t tear her eyes away from the movement and all the directions they take her in. She cant help but feel those same feelings with her brother-in-laws best friend. When he needs a place to stay Jersey less than graciously agrees to let him stay with her. 

Word count: 2,661 words

Green

The mid-August weather of Brooklyn was warm and humid.

Sometimes she missed London where the weather chilled a bit earlier in the year, only because she wasn’t too fond of walking the five blocks between her apartment and the bar without a jacket to cover her uniform.

It was her own fault for not being better at breaking habits. When she first came to Brooklyn the bar was called Toxcity, ironically, and the owner's required uniform was a black or white tank top with black bottoms, he was a perverted old man who preferred to “show off” his female employees. She got so used to the uniform that when Zay and his wife, Jo, bought out the bar, she continued to wear it. Despite their insistence that a uniform wasn't required.

Toxcity also used to be a hangout for business men who were all too desperate to be in their twenties again without a thought of wives or children to go home to. This unfortunately meant wandering hands and inappropriate remarks towards her appearance.

When Toxcity became Free Father, Jersey had to remind herself she could scold customers who got too comfortable. Zay had told a man that he could keep his hands to himself or get out of his bar after the man had put his hand far too low on Jersey's back. She had been shocked that her boss would stand up for her, especially after the previous owner had told her that customer service meant making sure the customer is happy no matter what, Zay pulled her aside and told her that she can speak to unruly customers however she saw fit.

He was one of the first people that she fully trusted after living in brooklyn for over a year, other than her sister and Steve of course.

Jason was the only other person she could find herself able to trust. After him she found new habits that she could never break no matter how hard she tried.

Jersey broke out of her thoughts of the past when she arrived at the door of Free Father. The dark olive green paint was beginning to peel away from wear of cold winters and brazen summers.

Walking inside was like a breath of fresh air, literally, the cool air blasting against her skin in contrast to the heated air coming from outside.

Jo was waiting at the end of the bar, her petite frame carrying a tray of beer. “You are late Carter,” the look on her face was stern aimed towards Jersey, but the faintest smile hid behind her pursed lips, “ten minutes late to be exact.”

As she approached the bar, Jersey took the tray from Jo and just smiled cheesily in response, “what table?”

“Four,” Jo called after the girl as she walked off to serve the three men, “don’t think you're getting away without an explanation missy.” Zay may have been the official owner of the bar but Jo was the boss.

The kitchen door burst open and Zay emerged with a fresh bucket of ice for the bar, his dark hair full of grease slicked back on the top of his head “Ahhh I see Miss Carter has decided to grace us with her presence”, he grinned from ear to ear the ends of his mustache curling up, “now what could have kept our most punctual employee from showing up ten minutes ago.”

Six pm never ushered in as many guests on Sunday nights, only three tables were occupied, a few men meeting for a drink after a long weekend, and two families snacking on nachos and fries from the small menu.

“I have a perfectly good excuse for being late,” Jersey sat across from the couple and clasped her hands together while pointing at them.

“Before you open your mouth to say that we got you drunk last night, remember that you had lots of time to pop a painkiller and drink some water before leaving for work.”

Jersey shut her mouth then quickly opened it again, “Okay fine I had a surprise guest show up at my apartment this morning,” they gave her a look as if to tell her to continue.

“He, shut up,” she said as they shared a look, “is Steve's best friend. His name is James and my sister's infernal dog chewed through their couch bed thing, and Steve showed up with James at my apartment at 10 am to tell me I was going to be hosting.”

Jo and Zay shared another look before turning to give her a playful smile “where are you both sleeping?” 

The huff of air that came from Jerseys mouth was enough to elicit a chuckle from Jo her smile reaching her green eyes that crinkled at the corners, “we’re not going to be sharing a room you pervs im taking the couch and I've cleaned out the bedroom so its livable for an actual human being.”

“Any chance I get to meet this new roommate of yours,” she leaned in and put her head in her hands trying to give her best puppy dog eyes.

Jersey snorted and stood from the bar “not if I have anything to say about it,” she gripped the edge of the counter and leaned in “and, your puppy dog eyes only work on your husband.”

She pushed off and turned to check on the tables and seat a couple that had just walked in.

“Hi, welcome to Free Father, is it just the two of you?” the couple nodded in response “well we have table seating and bar seating will you be eating with us tonight?” Another nod in response. “Okay then you can follow me.”

The couple was young, only a few years younger than Jersey, the woman was stiff and seemed nervous, the man didn’t look nervous but he couldn't stop looking between his shoes and the girl. It’s definitely a first date, Jersey thought, they probably share a college class and she caught his eye. Maybe they got to be friends and he finally got up the courage to ask her out, and now he's nervous but grateful she said yes, and she's just hoping it doesn't end badly so she doesn’t lose a good friend. Jersey sat them at a table away from the other people in the bar and took their drink order. From behind the bar she could see him set his hand lightly on her arm, the woman's demeanor softened and she finally smiled.

It was a feeling she could remember from years ago, when she met Jason, one touch from him and she was calm and comfortable. She could still feel his warm chestnut skin sliding down her arm and burning into her hand, her eyes shut tightly as she waited for his next move. She missed the time before when she was ecstatic to go home after work and fall into the arms of the man she loved.

~_~_~_~

Warm rays of light shone in through the bedroom window, Jersey slowly opened her tired eyes and was met with golden brown illuminated by the sun. His eyes bore right through her but a smile played on his lips. She hummed a silent question smiling back at him.

“You’re just so beautiful,” he punctuated his words with a light kiss to her forehead. Her smile reached so far up that her eyes almost closed.

She leaned in and pressed their lips together, “is it too early to tell you that I love you?” she mumbled against his mouth.

“After only one month… hmm absolutely not, cause I love you too” he connected their lips once again pulling her in close.

~_~_~_~

“Jersey I need some help over here,” Jo’s voice echoed through her head, “Carter, hey you there?”

She looked at Jo in a daze, taking a few seconds to grasp what she had said, “yeah sorry, what do you need help with?”

Jo nodded towards the kitchen directing Jersey to follow her, “closing chores I need help with the oil cause Zay had to run home early,”  she smiled sarcastically, “our sweet dog Timber got out and ran to the neighbors. Needless to say they were not happy to be woken up at 1 am by barking and scratching at their back door,” she chuckled at the image of the couple's elderly neighbor and her son being pulled from their beds to let in the 50 pound bulldog who wanted attention.

“I'm sure they were thrilled to see Timber, I bet they were even happy to let him drool on all of their belongings,” the two shared a laugh at the thought as Jo pulled the oil trap out and in front of the fryer.

Jo was quiet for a moment fiddling with the cap to empty the fryer, “so… James” was all that came out.

Jersey gave her a knowing look “what about him?”

“I was just wondering if, you know,” Jersey raised her eyebrows, and Jo huffed in response. “Is he cute, does he seem nice, how likely is it that you might, I don't know, ask him out?” She tried to sound casual but Jersey knew what she was getting at.

A defeated sigh fell from Jersey's lips, “Jo im not ready to start dating again, Peggy already tried to convince me to get involved with him and i'll tell you what i told her. I like being single.”

This time Jo was the one to raise her eyebrows, “i'm not going to tell you that you can't be happy being single but, are you really not ready or are you not letting yourself be ready? Plus once I'm more pregnant I'm going to need to live vicariously through you.”

“So you dont want me to date for actual romance purposes you just want me to date so you can forget that in less than a year youre going to have a sex interupting sleep stealing no down time allowing human taking over your life?” Jersey couldn't help but laugh.

Scoffing Jo raised her hand to chest feigning offense, “but, yes absolutely, that is exactly what I want. We have one toddler at home that already makes it nearly impossible for my husband to touch me.” She reached out and touched Jersey's cheeks and brushed her hair back as her mother would, “Honestly Jersey youre lucky you've gotten this far without me asking.”

“Well in that case Jo, James is very cute, he is very sweet, and if I was going to start dating again,” she paused and pinched Jo's face, “only for you, it would not be him, it would be a stranger.” 

Jo's face had a pout but it quickly became hopeful, a cheesy grin spreading across her face, “does that mean you're going to start dating again?”

Jersey rolled her eyes and turned back to the fryer putting the cap back on the empty machine. She just smiled at Jo not giving her a definitive answer.

“Oh come on, do it for me.”

~_~_~_~

The stairwell in Jersey’s apartment building smelled of weed and essential oils, the air fresheners were the landlord's attempt at dissolving the smell of burning marijuana. The cold metal railing lining the stairs felt good after her walk home, the air was cooler than it was when she left for work but it didn't stop the humidity from sticking to her skin. She fiddled with her keys and ran her hand up the back of her neck wiping away the hair that had stuck to the humid skin.

When she reached the third floor the stark contrast of fern green carpet meeting linoleum told her she was close to her apartment. Renovations were still being done on the first two floors; they had been recarpeted with dark blue and the walls repainted a bright white. Until they got to her floor she was stuck with the mucky carpet and off white walls that reflected the incandescent bulbs and created a strange orange glow.

Jersey unlocked the door to her apartment and closed it lightly behind her, dropping her keys onto the table beside her. She sighed deeply, realizing how exhausted she was. She would normally change her clothes and take off her makeup before going to bed, but the thought of wrapping up in a blanket and passing out on her couch sounded much better than anything. 

After kicking off her black boots Jersey grabbed a blanket off the reclining chair and jumped onto the couch expecting to be met with a plush cushion. What she found instead was a hard and lumpy surface.

Startled she fell on the floor trapped by her blanket, “what the,” Bucky sat up quickly and looked down at Jersey, “oh shit, are you okay,” he reached out his hand for her to take helping her to her feet.

“Yeah, I'm fine, what are you doing out here?” She realized she sounded harsh but she was so tired before and after falling on the ground she was fully awake and  wouldn't be able to fall asleep for another hour.

She could barely make out the confusion on his face in the dark room, “what do you mean, I thought you were okay with me staying here?”

Jersey walked over to the lamp at the edge of the couch and tugged on its chain illuminating the room. “No, I mean not that, yes of course you can stay here, but what are you doing on the couch?” 

She could clearly see his confused expression now, not sure why she was asking, “where am I supposed to sleep,” he chuckled lightly, “isn’t it normally polite for a guest to sleep on the couch.”

“I cleaned out the bedroom because you were staying with me.” She stated it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “you’re supposed to sleep in there.”

Bucky’s mouth opened to protest, “I can't make you sleep on the couch in your own apartment,” he tried, but she was already pushing him towards the bedroom.

He tried to speak again but she just shushed him “goodnight James.” The way she said it was as if she was scolding a small child, before pulling the door shut behind her.

Jersey sighed and went into the bathroom to remove her makeup and change into comfier clothes. She decided to just wipe her face down with a wipe and thoroughly wash her face the next day in the shower. She knew she should wake up early and take care of her chores but Monday was her day off and all she wanted to do was sleep.

In the other room Bucky looked around before deciding to give in and listen to the girl, laying down in the cool blue sheets trying to get comfortable again. He could hear her shuffling around outside the door mumbling to herself. When her movement stopped he shut his eyes and dozed off.

She laid on the couch and stared at her ceiling waiting for exhaustion to weigh down on her eyes once more. She couldn't help but think about James laying in her bed, in her sheets, he had been wearing a dark green t-shirt that loosely clung to his chest and basketball shorts that sat low on his hips. Jersey couldn't shake the feeling it gave her. He immediately reached down to help her off the floor, he had lifted her with ease and rested a hand on her shoulder, only for a moment to steady her. He was a stranger yet he treated her more kindly than she had ever known. Her eyes finally fluttered shut, and her mind only drifted to Jason for a few seconds before her mind turned off.

She dreamt of tight green fabric and her fingers smoothing over broad shoulders, the feeling James put in her stomach fueling her imagination.

~_~_~_~

@pono-pura-vida

[sunshinetoshi]

Which flower/plant do you associate your moots with?

okay this idea is so cute omg ty. honestly i don’t know much about flowers/plants besides saying ‘pretty!!’ every time i see one HAHA so i had to look up a bunch so now i’m very soft. ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING THESE MIGHT BE RANDOM BUT I STILL PUT THOUGHT INTO THEM AND IT MADE ME SOFT. i tried to include as many moots as possible (but there are still moots i missed bc i’m shy and we don’t interact as much or i feel like a bother asdajkf sorry lovelies ahh). 

this is me dropping the prettiest bouquets to you all each with a lil kith heheh. ily all 💐💐😙😙

@daichis-kitty - sunflowers (you’re my sunshine bubba heheh plus i know you love ‘em so automatic association). these make me so happy just like you dooooo. personally sunflowers are just so iconic and so are youuu

@tetsunormous - string-of-pearls. okay i LOVE these sm they might be my fave succulent. they make me giggle bc they look like green peas BAHAHA but i also think they’re soo pretty and they make me so happy. that giddiness i feel for them is similar to how i feel for you bestie oooo. okay but also lavender bc purple hearts for you forever

@luvbub - dandelions but before they’re fuzz-on-a-sticks (yellow fits the happy you make me plus the crafty flower crowns and you’re crafty aksdjfh). but even when they're fuzz you make me laugh and smile just like the fuzzies lol

@daichidaichidaichi - black velvet petunia. babe if you haven’t seen these look them up i am in love. petunias themselves and even the name are cute like you but the black captures your theme and i am obsessed.

@gg9183 - willow tree. very romantic vibes which i’ve always gotten from you bb. like imagine a date on a little lake in a row boat. ugh my heart. yeah those are the vibes. these are just so so pretty to me idk. for me your personality embodies an unmatched aesthetic. that doesnt even make sense but i hope it does pLS

@love-oikawa - feather grass but when lavenders grow between them?? very specific HAHA but i looove the look it makes me want to run through a meadow where your fingertips are brushing them and your giggling. idk something very cinematic and then add your s/o. yup. those are my hannah vibes.

@osamus-wife - pothos plant. okay these are the ones i see on ig/pinterest and they’re so aesthetic and i associate them with a person who has their stuff together (is a hard worker) and a person who has style and taste (like your taste in rb’s asdjf immaculate) and i see these things with youuu <33

@sunalma - wisteria. in the lakes by taylor swift there’s a line with wisterias and that whole song is the aura i get when i read your work. like the words just blow me away and i feel so lifted when i read it?? just beautiful bb. and your soul is beautiful too!! also purple for your theme heheh. also pretty flowers for pretty you angel

@xomiya - yerba mate bc i drink guayaki yerba mate when i need to stay up and given your body clock -> yerba mate <33 HAHA but you’re also so florally in my heart and head so also sweet peas my sweet pea soul sis

@catwithangerissues - bonsai tree. i know it’s random but i think it fits pLS. okay one reason is bc i think you’re fun (and slightly chaotic and i love it) and that’s the joy i get when i see those fisherman figurines in a bonsai tree planter thing (is this just me?? ahh) i also think you’re really cool and to me bonsais are so cool. like in general but also how old they can get it’s so cool what!! also your theme is green so my mind went green

@targaryens-blog - bat flower. these are strong and pretty looking flowers that i admire and those are things i think about you and your blog bb. the vibes of these are just amazing woahh. but your sweetness also gives me daisy vibes bc daisies make me so warm and happy so you get two flowers aksdjf

@cubbluv - spruce tree. are these christmas trees?? yes. but the warm fuzzy happy of christmas is like the feeling i have with you. and i will always associate green with you from your theme when we first became moots heheh. also?? i can’t remember but didn’t you saw you liked to pick up pine cones?? if not picking pine cones is cute so i still think it fits aksjdf ily melody heheh

@amjustagirl - southern magnolia tree. i’ve seen one of these trees a while back and they are just so memorable. they just have a unique feeling where you want to sit under the shade of them forever and take in the breeze. and that’s how i feel with your work <33

@kodzkn - marigolds. the slightly orange-y ones. they remind me of your theme and pfp heheh. also whenever i see these irl i go “marigolds!!” which is the energy i have when i see your user on my dash or notifs aksjdf

@notcurrentlyactive - chamomile. okay this one i can't explain but i love how cute the flowers are and i love the tea and you are just so kind and warm they radiate the same energy?? heheh <33

@iwaizumini - ranunculus/buttercup flowers. they’re just so bright and come in so many colors and are pretty just like you!! i love these sm and they make me so happy when i see them so i think they’re a great fit for you. heheh love you bb <33

@shoyotime - wishbone flower. bestie i’ll be honest. i looked up ‘clown flower’ out of curiosity AND THESE POPPED UP. but they’re so cute like you and the purple matches your theme so it actually works out BAHAHA. no but fr you make me so so happy and ilysm so also hydrangeas bc i think these are unmatched pretty flowers. there’s just something about them.

@tsukkisfatsimp - jade plant. okay hear me out bb. this explanation has ~layers~ okay first i love succulents and i love you. simple but effective (especially when i mean it with my whole chest). second the reddish tint on the ends reminds me of your red tsukki theme from back then. and third these grow HECKA fast just like you are on here and it makes me so happy and proud bb heheh

@hvnlydmn - calla lillies. okay i cant pick between the white ones or the black ones but for me they exude hot girl energy bb. either these are red roses. same reason HAHA

@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum - camellias. pretty and pink and now match your theme heheh. BUT if i’m being honest it’s bc they appear in naruto a lot and when we became moots was when you first deep dived into naruto so that association will probs stay bb akjsdf

@floralkawa - baby’s breath. i think these are my favorite flowers. but just like you they give off the sweetest and softest vibes and they make me smile whenever i see them <33

@lovelytarou - canterbury bells. the blue-ish ones remind me of your theme HAHA. i’ve already told you how much i love your blog but you are also so sweet and funny (pls your tags give me life) and these flowers amuse me and make me smile bc they’re bell-shaped so i’m matching them to you. askdjf okay slightly a reach but bb look how pretty they are!!

@izhyperfixates - hollyhocks. they are just so soft and bright and lovely like you and your blog!! and i can totally see you and kita growing them in the garden you two have oooo

@marshieee - delphiniums. the blue of your theme is just so iconic i love it sm. also these are just so pretty!!

@pixelwisp - forget-me-nots. i know your theme is no longer blue but i still think of blue when i see you on the dash asjdf. also these have the cutest name and i think your user is so cute heheh

[respectable-username]

🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN

A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers

TL;DR:

Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:

To connect to their company's internal network

To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)

To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country

Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:

Privacy

And today, I'll tell you why.

Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?

I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.

You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.

Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.

It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:

(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)

But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?

For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!

Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.

The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.

The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.

For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.

A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.

If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.

Something something viruses

How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.

(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)

Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.

And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!

But my ISP is spying on me!

Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:

The source of a request (your IP)

What website that request is going to (the website's IP)

These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.

Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.

It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.

By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).

As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.

If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.

HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.

Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?

In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.

For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.

But my VPN comes with a password manager!

Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.

Password managers also come for free.

I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.

So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.

No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons

In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.

Further reading viewing

If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.

I like too much detail

Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.

So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.

But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?

Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.

For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!

Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.

So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.

So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.

Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!

But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.

This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.

I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard

But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.

If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.

This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.

So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.

Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.

And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.

Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.

Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.

Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.

Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.

But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.

I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!

I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.

Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.