#some rl medics

[writer-of-various]

Bro, I'm not even fucking joking, why the fuck am I obsessed with medics?! Specifically WW2 medics. I'm something else, thanks for coming to my rant.

[fauvester]

i think my coworkers and friends think its a little excessive that Im so militant about my sleep schedule but its hard to describe the extent to which the terrors fucking get me if my circadian rhythm is even a little fucked up

[kitkatcabbit]

The level of frustration I’m experiencing…

My insurance will cover the silver ring splints I need, with a 20% co-insurance. Fine, cool, I’m ok with that, because paying $134 and change is better than paying $672 (cause I need like, six of them).

But-

They said I need to get them from an in-network DME provider.

Except Silver Ring Splints is a DME provider; they make the damned things. Nobody is going to order them from there to then hand to me…it’s like my insurance is telling me to go into McD’s and ask them to buy me a whopper.

So yeah, my insurance will cover it, but seems like they’ve made it effectively impossible to accomplish. I feel like it would be easier to just save the money and buy them myself.

Edit to add: they sent me a two-page list of DME providers within 10 miles of my home. I went through the whole list. None of them will work.

[tarisilmarwen]

Brain: Oh hey, we’re going to work through some unprocessed grief and trauma today.

Me: Can we not?

Brain: Nope, sorry! :)

[toastsnaffler]

I mostly just scroll thru blog subs when im on mobile bc I follow too many ppl on here so I add mutuals etc there n then turn off notifs so it's like the creme de la creme of the dash anyway if u see me in ur notes more its bc I forgor to add some of u on there until recently sorry 😭😭

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my friends that I probably wont survive this year?

Trigger warning: mentions of terminal illness, medical malpractice, death.

💀🤫🤐 to find later

I know the general consensus for this type of thing is almost always that I should tell them. This is a little more complicated, but I might still be TA.

I (20s trans) have an illness that doesn’t always end with death. It’s usually manageable with some heavy medications. The problem is that I live in the US, where access to these medications is made almost impossible, especially if you’re poor. I lucked out for a few years and have been able to have access. I thought I was set for life, and then the dr who prescribed that med started being inappropriate and abusive. They won’t allow me to transfer to a different dr in their office and there are literally no other doctors where I live that cover this disease or will prescribe the medication for me. So, that access is ending very soon, and I have spent months trying to find a way around it but. Hey. The American medical industry genuinely sucks. I just found out that it’s 100% impossible for me to continue this medication with the way things are, and nothing else works like this class of medications.

What this means is things are going to get really bad for me, and then I will most likely die in a really unpleasant way. That’s the reality, and at this point there is no avoiding it. I tried, but there are no options. I’m still in the process of accepting it. It’s not going great.

The problem is, I can’t bring myself to tell anyone I know the full details. I’ve mentioned things are not looking good, but as far as most of my friend’s know I’m doing just fine.

The last time I was this unwell, it was before I was allowed access to these medications, newly diagnosed, and I was doing really poorly. When I told friends and mutuals about this, they called the cops to do a “wellness check” because they just assumed I was suicidal rather than actually that sick for some reason. I, a visibly trans person, was forced to allow a cop to come into my apartment to talk to me while I was trapped my bed because I was unable to get up and walk at that point. At the same time, I started getting messages on my personal blog telling me to shut up about my illness. A lot of messages to KMS already. I mean a lot of them. When I started to get better thanks to the meds, I had people tell me they were disappointed that I didn’t die. I had close friends ghost me or tell me I wasn’t worth it.

To say I’m traumatized about this kind of thing is putting it lightly. Years of therapy has not even touched most of that.

Now, I don’t have any rl friends. Being constantly sick made that hard, then the pandemic made it impossible. So all my friends are online and won’t be clued in to what’s happening unless I tell them outright. I would like to, because I hate the idea of vanishing on them. But I’m currently living in an even more unsafe area to have a “wellness check” done by the police and I just genuinely can’t bring myself to trust anyone with this level of personal ever again.

AITA for not telling them? Should I just suck it up and do it?

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: addiction, baby health

My Baby and I have been home for 4 weeks now. Little progress and improvements in my Son’s development were slowly noticeable. He still cried at night, but he became much calmer compared to the first weeks before. I think this is mainly due to the usual routine we have developed together at home. What also helped Lucas a lot, was our first visit to the pediatrician after the hospital discharge. The pediatrician recommended a special baby-formula, because my little one cried a lot and also lost weight.

As for that withdrawal symptoms thing, the pediatrician said the same, as the docs in the hospital told me. My Baby had a mild withdrawal, but now after 3 weeks, it should be over. From a medical pov, he's ok! The constant crying and restlessness should also subside, once we change his baby-formula. The doc explained to me, that Lucas seems to be a very sensitive child. I simply have to accept it! This was the second time a doctor told me my Son was sensitive. Well, I get it now! My Baby’s okay, I just need to be a bit more chilled.

Anyway! My Baby was getting better while I was getting... worse. I was constantly feeling sad and totally exhausted. I was terrified for my Son, even though he was FINE! So my Mom slept with me & Lucas. In my bed! 🫤 I didn’t ask her to!! She stayed every night with us in my room, to feed Lucas at night. My Mom knew that his crying, scared/worried me, because I kept thinking something was wrong with Lucas. She just wanted to help me. But somehow Lucas got used to sleeping in my bed. Just like my.... Mom!? 😫

I am truly grateful to her, for everything she has done for Lucas & me, and is still doing. But I think she...... meant it too well, if you understand me? With her constant help, she basically... replaced me as a mother. Now my Son had two Moms, yk? Ofc, that's nothing bad or so!! My whole situation back then was just... chaotic. Actually, I should be with Lucas & Nico alone, at our own place! But unfortunately, this was not possible at the time.

However, things will go a bit wrong, especially as soon as Nico comes back home. Also between me & my parents it's gonna get.... stressfull. Tbh, I needed help. But since I didn’t talk to anyone about it, my parents didn’t know I was depressed. Instead, they expected the worst (of me). They thought I had relapsed.😠

Oh, and Sandra also came to me. She and Liam visited Lucas quite often the first days. I have entrusted Sandra with some things that have burdened me. Yesterday Philip called me. He wanted to see Lucas. I told S. I was afraid of becoming like Isabella. 😞I don’t know why I felt that way?? Maybe bcs I talked to P.?? Sandra tried to make me realize that N.'s & my situation is not like P.'s & Isabella's (was). I just felt guilty about Lucas, like I was a bad mother. That's why.... I was afraid to become like Isabella.

And that my Mom took over my job as a Mother at the beginning, did not do me any good. But also my Dad, he somehow replaced Nico for Lucas. It's so strange. Bcs actually my parents did nothing bad! They only helped us. Still... I....I never thought that all this would have such a negative effect on the relationship between Nico &Lucas.

Previous/Next

[nitazenes]

Please if you can, hear me out.

Dissociative Disorders (DDs) and Trauma related disorders are losing favor in the psychiatric field. Many treatment centers that treated for DDs or Trauma Treatment have been shut down.

The Finding Solid Ground program is the top leading research in the Dissociative Disorder field currently. They occasionally have studies you can apply for and they genuinely want to help via research. You can help by signing up for their mailing list to participate in their studies on DDs, link is provided near the end of this post.

People with DDs are being diagnosed now as Bipolar and/or Schizophrenic, I know because I was misdiagnosed about 3 times, telling me I was delusional and had Bipolar AND schizophrenia

It never occurred to them to ask whether the voices I heard were on the outside or the inside of my head. I spent my teen years in absolute turbulence and after being misdiagnosed, I was put on a VERY strong anti-psychotic that for 6 months, I became narcoleptic and developed permanent TD and RLS.

Because of my BPD diagnosis, I also faced medical discrimination and mistreatment because Doctors will take one look at a BPD diagnosis and immediately assume you are lying.

It also seems very on trend lately to disbelieve RAMCOA/TBMC survivors. Some things Ive seen on here and Reddit have been wholly devastating to read that people who suffered from RAMCOA were just merely "manipulated" and suggesting that those who experienced horrific tortures are simply "gaslit" and "delusional"

You can apply for studies here they are currently just putting people on email notifications for when studies open up.

These disorders are real. RAMCOA is real-- people just don't want to believe how cruel human beings can be to each other. It's denial of reality. We are not delusional. You should believe RAMCOA survivors because we have seen the depravity, and the fact we are surviving means: we've seen it, lived it, and are trying to continue our lives despite what we faced. And now we're being called liars.

This program is not exclusive to RAMCOA it is for dissociative disorders all together.

Please donate if you can, if you cannot, reblogs are appreciated. Spread the word. We are not delusional, we have mental illness that little understand.

^ this link leads to the Finding Solid Ground project and is informative and provides resources such as the PITQ-p, the workbooks, and more all found through this.

We are survivors. We are more than what happened to us.

We deserve to heal.

******This is NOT aimed at Endos, Tulpas, or those who "willed" their system into being. This is for dissociative disorders*******

[pastenaga]

Charity Art Raffle for Mildret

Recently my friend Mildret was diagnosed with colon cancer, they're only 26 years old and have no family support since their mother passed away two years ago during the pandemic due to covid, they live on their own and they're currently unable to work because of their medical condition. The insurance does not cover certain procedures at the moment and time is crucial at this point. We're gathering money to be able to do the surgery needed (a hemicolectomy and transverse ileus anastomosis) and start chemotherapies. They were told they only have 2 months to do the surgery.

Donations and Raffle tickets payment will be taken on:

Ko-fi

Paypal: rosseovd@gmail.com

Or directly to their bank account (but this one probably only works on Mexico and Latinoamerica): Mildret Fuentes, Bank: BANORTE, Account (Cuenta): 0433727516, CLABE: 072078004337275166.

Thank you all for your attention and your support ❤.

✨PRIZES ✨

🎖️#1: Animated video (MAD) or Comic or Full Colored Drawing

🎖️#2: Comic or GIF animation or Full Colored Drawing

🎖️#3: Full Colored Drawing or GIF animation.

🎖️#4: Flat Drawing + Chibi (color)

🎖️#5: Sketch + Chibi (sketch)

🎖️#6: Sketch

🎁 As a special thank you all Winners from #1 to #15 can have a Keychain + Notebook + 3 Stickers of election: See available designs 👉 HERE. (You would have to pay for the shipment ----> I can give you an estimated shipment cost if you send me your address on DM).

🎁 And from #16 to #25 can choose a keychain + 3 stickers.

🎁✨ AND as another special thank you:

The first 10 tickets will have a FREE Chibi or waist-up Sketch!!🎊

💙 Raffle starts today November 16th and ends on December 26th. 💙After you make the payment please send me a direct message with the receipt.

🏆 I will be announcing the winners during the first week of January!

I made another Charity Raffle for a little kitty some time ago, if you want you can check it out here.

Otherwise, I'm also opening commissions if you're interested, all of the profits will be donated to my friend's treatment. You can find the info here.

✔️ I can draw: Anime, BL, GL, Hetero, OC, Kinks, Armor/weapons, RL people, Chibi, Chibi animals, Gore, Mecha.

❌ Won't draw: Realistic animals, Character design, Shouta or Loli, Landscapes.

🎬 Animated video (MAD): duration max 2 minutes, you need to provide the song, theme, and brief story you would like, (NSFW not allowed). You can see what types of videos I do on my Youtube channel

📔 Comics: 20 pages or less. You need to provide the story and characters. NSFW allowed. You can see some examples of the comics I make here. Or my Stranger Things comic here.

🎨 Full Colored Drawing: full body, it can be digital or watercolor, and it can include a simple background. Max 2 characters. NSFW allowed. Digital Examples Watercolor Examples

🎞️ GIF Animation: Simple animation of small actions like kisses, smiling, blushing, etc. Max 2 characters. No background, no color or very simple colors. NSFW allowed. GIF Examples

✍️ Flat Drawing: full body just with flat colors, no background. Max 2 characters. NSFW allowed. Flat Examples

🎀 Color chibi: Max 2 characters. No background. NSFW not allowed. Chibi Examples

✏️ Sketch: Waist-up Max 2 characters. No background. NSFW allowed. Sketch Examples

Any questions feel free to DM me 🥰

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Ruler of Dreams. Short I

Previous post

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Embodiment of Dreams! Reader

Warning: English is my second language. Crack-ish

/BSD Characters have a nice evening together./

/Suddenly, the door is opened. Aya, who looked unwell, walked inside on wobbly legs. Face-plant on the couch. You are behind her, looking normal. You are holding some sort of sandwich in your hand./

Bram: checking on Aya, looked worried What happened?!

/Aya whines. She managed to talk/

Aya: It was horrible! I only wanted to thank Mister RL! Gogol for delicious breakfast!

/You lean on the nearest wall, observing everyone. Sandwich in your hands start slowly sparkle with your powers. It was changing to be the most delicious sandwich in the world/

Aya: I made pie for him! And he... He...

Bram: enraged, looks at you Did he hurt her?! Control your...

/You raise your hand, signaling Bram to let Aya finish/

Aya: still sobbing He invited me to their part of the castle... I went here... And there...

/Aya can't even talk and. She wined, holding her stomach. You spoke instead of her/

[Y/N]: And there were five tables, full of meat, vegetables, drinks. Tons of food, made of everything that lived in Russia or Ukraine. And Gogol, who insisted on 'Thanking a nice girl for giving us delicious pie'. And nice girl didn't know, when to stop. And the arsonist¹ can be pretty convincing.

/You sat near Aya. Still with changing sandwich in your hand/

[Y/N]: Aya, do you remember his kulebyaka on four corners? In one corner were sturgeon cheeks and fish bone marrow. In another corner there was buckwheat porridge with mushrooms and onions. In the third were milts. In the fourth - brains...²

/Aya whine and curled on the couch. You signed and, with a wave of your hand, summon a little bottle of medicine/

[Y/N]: Take it. The pain will go away. But remember... you walked away from Aya, waving the Perfect Dream Sandwich around If I say 'Don't gift food to Gogol' you better listen. You can't say no to his cooking.

/Aya nodded. Bram helped her to take medication. You were still waving sandwich around./

Ayatsuji: [Y/N], what are you doing?

/Suddenly, a blur, that appeared from one of the closets, snatched the sandwich from your hand. RL! Ayatsuji greet BSD Cast with the nod and continue eating sandwich/

[Y/N]: Was looking for a person, who, with the rest of the alive authors, were forbidden from entering my kingdom for meeting you, until I allow it.

/RL! Ayatsuji winked at you./

RL! Ayatsuji: You can't blame us, Dream. We are curious.

[Y/N]: rolled eyes Yea, yea. Now please, privacy.

/RL! Ayatsuji clapped your shoulder and disappeared in the direction of The Portal room/

/Everyone are silent. You wave your hand towards one of the corridors/

[Y/N]: Writers still having their party. If you want, you can join them. Personally, I would like to eat some pastila³ with FM.

/You left. Soon, BSD cast joined you. It was one of the first steps in bonding with the Dream Kingdom./

______

¹ Gogol burned some of his unpublished works, that he considered a failure.

² This exact Kulebyaka (type of pie) was described in Gogol's "Dead Souls".

³ Pastila is a traditional Russian fruit confectionery. It has been described as "small squares of pressed fruit paste" and "light, airy puffs with a delicate apple flavor". Interesting facts, F. M. Dostoevsky was fond of pastila

[neos-schlond-poofa]

rl donna beneviento hcs

because @scuba-gragas (your acc is NOT linking for some reason) freaked out over one of my edit captions and im like. why not share more sad stuff about donna! and also silly stuff in here too.

AND NO IM NOT PUTTING "ATTEMPTED BEFORE" IN HERE THIS IS NOT SOME SAD SOME RANDOM

repeating this from the edit but due to her tendency to remember numerous timelines, donna has even more of a SEVERE fear of being abandoned by mc and lacks a lot of self confidence in the relationship. she remembers mc being happy with the others, what if they did a better job than her? what if mc goes to them? or perhaps, what if the loop occurs and mc goes to someone else, and donna sees them just act happier? was she easily replacable?

however, sometimes donna DOES express her relationship anxieties and mc always does help out; its not all torment for donna, dont worry. as time goes on she always tries to be more open with mc about her feelings

okay back to sad. i imagine this happens to everyone but in their own way, but donna is a sleep hugger. so when she wakes up the day after the loop, shes hugging a pillow instead of mc and she just sits there for a bit. sometimes, she doesnt really get it, other times, she instantly knows what happened. she hates the feeling of waking up that morning and thinking she has someone in her arms, only to have an empty spot in her bed.

really good at claw machines. when angie was younger, she loved going to the arcade, and so donna mastered the art of claw machines to get angie a bunch of prizes (and sometimes herself).

invested in noise cancelling headphones / earbuds once she got with mc. she wears them a lot everywhere and even went to her first concert with them, it helps her not be overstimulated.

she hates herself for this, but part of her prays that mc stays with miranda after she has to wipe belas memories. she cant stand the thought of hurting her niece again in another loop.

would probably get a sims addiction, but specifically making sims.

plays relaxing video game soundtracks in the store (dani, angie, and mc often update the playlists)

she sells those fake flowers on april fools that shoot water at peoples faces.

loves to watch operas and ballets.

im struggling with wording this but like. when donna realizes the loop has occured she always just takes a bunch of time to prepare herself for whatever is going to happen, but ESPECIALLY knowing she has to murder someone for angie again. shes basically doomed to do this forever until mc gets with miranda; and i KNOW angie sometimes isnt a doll but. lets forget about that!! i just imagine shes always a doll anyways, it makes more sense that way, and either way, a loop where angie is fully human is just a temporary break for one of donna's many problems.

ethel cain stan

hates hospital shows for MANY reasons. she doesnt like seeing the hospitals first of all, she doesnt like seeing when the people die, and she hates the medical inconsistencies.

in loops where bela and mc have a family (sigh), she can't help but literally try to keep her distance. they won't have their family for long, and she cant bear to tell them that (although bela is most definitely aware) or even get attached to their baby, she doesn't want to lose someone close again (although bela does not catch onto this; she tries to get donna involved as opposed to alcina)

owns a typewriter

constantly has a tab of solitaire open on her laptop.

theres a picture of markiplier hidden in her room and she doesnt know it. angie hid it there and has been waiting for donna to find it. thing is? she hid it before the loop started. so it is permanently there for every loop.

always has really cutesy and simplistic halloween costumes she wears in her flower shop for the holiday. her favorite costume is a bee.

loves build-a-bear. it obviously takes her some time to get ready to go there (she often plans out their least busy times), but she loves to make her own plushes for her collection and buy them new clothes. eventually takes mc there for a date and they adopt a bear together.

but outside of that? she really hates getting new ones there during the loops. she gets really attached to them and she hates knowing they're only there for a short time.

kanoodle master.

hates the smell of nail polish

great hugger, even if she doesn't give them out that often.

owns a bunch of retro game consoles and likes to collect them, although she doesn't get much time to play them.

hates the bee movie; angie loves it

while mc obviously does open her eyes, donna still struggles with the concept of even trying to get better because she knows its all just going to loop. yes, she will work on things and they will improve, but certain things will revert back to normal after the loop anyways.

once tried to dance in the rain for fun and ended up getting a cold instead.

alright i think thats it... i might share more in the future but i tried to balance this with silly and sad.

[dandylion240]

My queue runs out today. Due to a family medical emergency last week I haven't had a chance to work on my stories or go in game to get screenshots. Not sure if I'll have time this week either. Stories will resume once things settle down somewhat in RL.

Until then I have some character asks to work one.

Hope everything is going well for everyone.

Take care!

[annoyangle]

//so far poll is OVERWHELMINGLY in favor of all caps typing so GUESS WHAT you kids get to read the BLARING ALL CAPS FOR BILL VOICE after all lol

also moderate spoilers for BoB and future portrayal below

Having read the book, the one thing I think I'm going to struggle a little with balancing is the childish/pathetically needy side of Bill. I've always HC'd that Bill gets emotional when he's drunk - had that on board since Weirdmageddon 3 first aired. But _pathetic_ drunk is a new one. Sobbing and calling for his mommy in a baby voice feels almost too pathetic for Bill - at least my Bill, you know?

Same with like 'fussy billy wouldn't drink without his silly straws' or whatever. The implication being that he suffered child medical abuse/trauma in his homeworld is not something I have an issue with tho. The hints of his past have ALWAYS been dark; now we just have another couple of snippets of it. Kids bullied him 'setting fires with his mind', his parents 'tried to snuff out his talents', the silly straw page implies he was medicalized from early on. He is now CLEARLY portrayed in the book as neurodivergent. However, no matter what the canon says, Bill has previously always been written as an ADULT with ADULT cognition levels and so I don't really want to go too deep into like childish regressive stuff. I don't feel like that's the right direction for me.

I also feel shoving him into a mental institution at the end of the book is kind of ... am ambivalent way to attempt to walk back his more corrosive and controversial aspects? Neurodivergence and medicalization is KIND of a hot button in a lot of ways for a lot of people. I can't help but notice Alex's oddly ambivalent tone in discussions about the book in RL, either. You don't have to pay penance for writing mildly subversive content, guy! The Subgenii didn't and neither did the Flying Spaghetti Monster guys! My other HC for Bill is that he's been deeply disappointed with... pretty much everything on a molecular level since he gained 'ascension' to his current form. So that's not too much of a stretch to fit in.

FInally, I am... amused as fuck since my personal HC is that Bill and Ford have been toxic exes since .. .uh... the Search for the Blind Eye website codes were translated?? BUT. I have tried to keep shipping OUT of this account because it's become SUCH toxic discourse on Tumblr and fandom in general, and I don't support anyone 'taking sides' over any ship or another, or harassing each other about which pretend people they like to imagine smooching. So I just shut down all shipping discussion when it comes up. and I really don't care to incorporate that aspect of things too much into my portrayal of Bill. So I am weighing how much to include that whole 'I'm really not over Sixer' thing.

I want to be as canon as possible, BUT. these things make me think.

also don't get it that I dislike the book. I love it!! There's so much good stuff! It's just that I KNOW people are gonna grab the wrong ends of things and use them to beat each other up, and I don't wanna fuel that. At all. Just kinda thinking 'out loud' about some stuff I guess

[brandogenius]

Hi I don’t normally send these but your blog has become such a safe place for me and I just wanted to say thank you. If I’m having a really shit day I read your works and feel better so thank you for taking the time to create such beautiful things.

I also had a request I guess but would you ever be open to writing a chronic pain reader and like one of the Boygenius members (Idm who) just like taking care of them and trying to help with the pain??

-🌷

hi tulip anon!! thank you so much for this!! i just woke up and read it and honestly it made me cry a little!! i’m so glad you have a safe space to go to and i feel honoured and very happy you enjoy my work and find safety!!!! thank you so much for the kind words :(( ily very much!! i hope you have a wonderful day baby!!

i’ve wrote something kinda similar to this actually! julien x reader who has rls !! i’ll link it here! of course i can write something up!! hehe!!

‼️RPF‼️

BLURB - lucy x reader - taking care of you (short!)

- lucy is very patient and accommodating with reader. understanding where they are coming from and wanting to be there for reader

- “i know my love. why don’t you stay in bed for a little bit longer? i just woke up earlier to do my makeup”

- when going out to visit new coffee shops, lucy always makes sure you have your wheelchair or crutches before going out “i don’t mind strolling baby. we can take our time as much as we want. we have all day” if you want to stop for a bit, lucy will make sure to find a good place to sit for a few minutes, even if it’s just a buss stop or in a cafe

- both of your favourite things to do are have lazy sundays. relaxing on the couch or in bed and watch movies

- winter season can be a little bit more channelling. the cold hurting your bones. lucy makes sure to top up on blankets in bed. sleeping together with 4 blankets and long sleeves. i feel like lucy would be someone who runs warm so whenever it’s cold out, she’ll just wrap you up in his arms gently and run her fingers through your hair, humming some tunes while you drift off to sleep

- migraines would be the worst. lucy invested in black out curtains to atleast help a little bit which worked! it’s better than trying to sleep with glasses on

- if reader takes any medication, lucy is someone who would hold onto it when going out. like the designated backpack person

- one time both of you wanted to go to a concert but had to cancel because you had a migraine. you were really upset about it but lucy made sure to not worry. “we can go another time sweetheart. there’s no need to worry” she’s painting your nails while watching some fan cams of the said concert on youtube.

[blueinkedfrost]

Be an isekai for Rashta from Remarried Empress.

You're an average twenty-first-century woman armed with plot spoilers

You start out reincarnated as a child slave, you're looking forward to years of abuse, forced labour, and rape at the hands of your slave owners/kidnappers

You're also going to give birth to your rapist's child with no or minimal medical treatment, hooray, at least you'll survive as per the plot spoilers

You finally escape your owner, run into the Emperor, he's your only chance to leave slavery

Congratulations! You're part of the royal court as the Emperor's mistress now ... but you're in a nest of vipers with your only resources being the Emperor's feelings for you and your knowledge of the plot spoilers

Also your owners have your firstborn child and are going to blackmail you as much as they can

You can try not to antagonise the Empress, but she's never going to like you because you're sleeping with her husband

You're probably mad at the Emperor and Empress and you have every reason to be - they're the politically powerful leaders of this horrible slave society!

Your fantasy at this point is probably a people's revolution where both Emperor and Empress get the guillotine and slavery gets outlawed, but you're a normal twenty-first-century person, you probably don't know how to organise one of those things

You might be able to use plot spoilers, recommend the Emperor do policies that counter the secret conquest plans of the neighbouring empire, except your power depends on the Emperor viewing you as brainless and compliant, so this might not go the way you hope

Since you're now the main character there's a chance the male lead, the other Emperor, will get attracted to you, but you offer him zero political benefits so he's not going to marry you

You'll give birth to your second child, the Emperor believes it's his but it's the wrong gender for what he wants in an heir

At least you'll get the best of period available midwifery this time, hope your doctor remembers to wash his hands

You're not going to have another child with the Emperor, he's infertile, so good luck organising a discreet affair with another man, it will probably get you killed if the Emperor finds out

Your best chance is probably ask the Emperor to marry you off to some rich and tolerant nobleman, this was done in RL history to royal mistresses

Now you're married and permanently free from slavery, hopefully you can pay a final ransom to your former owners to get custody of your firstborn child and send him somewhere safe

You might get really lucky and have a son with your husband that the Emperor believes is his, but probably you don't even want to go through childbirth again

Hopefully retire to a luxury life with your husband, join or create a local abolitionist society and support it with your wealth

Mediocre happy ending

[trailshome]

Progress Update

I did a bit of backtracking because I wasn't happy with the first version of the beginning of Chapter Two (which means I'll have to tweak the ending of Chapter One but whatever). As you can see, your parents (or crushes) decide to visit you in jail -- here's hoping things don't go south!! I have, also, realized in planning out some of Chapter Two that the routes I had initially planned, were expanded a bit and will require quite a bit of coding because of branching. I'll work on them branch by branch and release them as they are finished (or half-finished) to keep my momentum going. Besides, I've already failed at updating once a month ahah! Might as well embrace my inability to remain punctual with updates!! Needless to say, Chapter Two's jail scene will have two variations; the couple, as seen above, and Greta! One or both will lead to a few shenanigans if things continue as planned~! Rambles about RL below -- preceded with caution!

Also! I adopted a kitten recently, his name is Stinky and he's going to be nine weeks old next Tuesday! He's been taking up quite a bit of my time as I've had to try and deal with Quill and Jean (my two-year-old kitties) adjusting to having him around. My second job will also be starting up in the next week and a half or so which means I'll have less time for writing -- however, if what I've learned ends up being true, I may end up on some medication that should help me out with my frequent illnesses and lack of motivation. This means that despite having less time due to work, I'll develop more of a drive to write more consistently and/or stop over-thinking my writing. Sorry as always that updates are so few and far between and always end up being revisions. Hopefully moving forward things will change and I'm feeling optimistic! We can hope and we will see!! Stay safe, drink water, wear a mask if you can, and wash your hands!! Until next time!