#some sort of idiots

[eldstunga]

Weekend magma doodles with @kwerpp: Best friends making the Worst choices

[honnelander]

go fish!

so i fell in love with Sanji just like everyone else. i've never seen the one piece anime or read the manga so i'm solely going off of the live action. i had fun writing this and plan to make this a series of some sorts where it's a fem!reader x Sanji moments of awkwardness, fluff, and mutual pining because i love reading that stuff myself. if anyone has any suggestions or requests for this series please leave a comment or send me an ask!

WARNINGS: none

word count: 1.3k

pairing: opla!sanji x reader

summary: reader and Usopp are playing a card game when Sanji finds them. teasing ensues.

prequel part 2 part 3 part 4 masterlist

“Care for a refreshment, Madam?” a smooth, deep familiar voice asked to your left, breaking your concentration on the card game in front of you. 

“Hm?” you looked up from the cards in your hand and saw the Going Merry’s own chef looking down at you with a crooked, charming smile as he held a chilled glass bottle of water in his hand. “Oh, hey Sanji,” you greeted quickly with your usual smile as you looked back down at your hand. “What’d you say? Go fish Usopp.” 

Your opponent across the barrel from you grumbled as he took the top card off the deck sitting between you both. 

“I was just asking if the lovely madam sitting here would like a nice, cold refreshment on this particularly hot day?” Sanji asked again with a hint of amusement, his crooked smile deepening as he watched you study your hand once again. 

“’Lovely madam’?” Usopp repeated sarcastically, his eyebrows pulling together. “What about offering her super buff, brave, and heroic opponent an ice-cold beverage instead?” 

“Nope,” Sanji corrected, popping the 'p'. “Ladies first Usopp. Always.” 

Even after knowing Sanji for a couple of months now, his consistent chivalry always managed to make your heart flutter.  

You laughed lightly and couldn’t help but smirk as you said with a matter-of-fact, teasing tone, “Just say you wish you were a girl, Usopp. No judgment here.” You paused for a moment before asking, “You got the five of spades?” 

“Now even though I would make an extremely attractive, gorgeous woman, I am a man through and through.” A grin broke out on Usopp’s face as he glanced at his hand and triumphantly called out, “Go fish, y/n.” 

“Fair enough,” you hummed as you reached for a card. “And yes Sanji, I would love a glass of cold water. Thank you.” You shot a quick look of gratitude the chef’s way as you took a card from the deck. 

Sanji placed the two glasses onto your makeshift barrell-table top he was holding in his left hand and started filling up the glasses with water. “Of course. Anything for the missus.” 

Missus. Ugh. It made your heart skip a beat to hear him call you that. But you knew he didn’t really mean anything by it. It was just how Sanji spoke, forever the gentleman. 

“Oof. If you keep sweet talking like that Sanji, you’re going to even make me blush, just like y/n,” Usopp joked. 

Your eyes widened as your eyes snapped to look at your dumbass crewmate and friend sitting across from you. “I- I am not blushing Usopp!” God, if you both were using a real table instead of a barrel right now you would’ve broken his shine with your foot. You really weren’t blushing before but Usopp’s stupid comment definitely made your cheeks heat up now. “It’s the heat,” you hissed.  

“’Heat’,” he mocked with air quotes and snorted. “Right.” 

“I-” before you could defend yourself, Sanji spoke up. 

“Actually,” the blonde chef chimed in with a light laugh as he filled the second glass, “that’s why I came over in the first place. You were looking a little flushed y/n, so I thought you guys could use a cold drink.” 

Sanji’s words caused both you and Usopp to look up from your cards simultaneously, making eye contact with each other. A mischievous grin started to form on Usopp’s face as he saw the blush deepen on your face. You quickly looked back to your hand, suddenly finding the eight of clovers card extremely interesting.  

Sanji saw you looking flushed? He saw you? From across the deck? From inside the kitchen’s window? He was watching you play cards? The thought of Sanji watching you when you didn’t expect him to made your stomach erupt in butterflies, and it certainly didn’t make your stupid little crush on him go away. Just the opposite. In fact, it just fueled your delusional fantasy even more.  

And it certainly didn’t help that the only person who knew about your crush on the head chef just so happened to have a big mouth and loved to tease you about it any chance he got. And that he was sitting right across from you right now, watching all of this unfold right in front of him. 

“Oh? So you were watching y/n and I play cards out here?” Usopp innocently asked his blonde crewmate, but you knew better. There wasn’t an ounce of true curiosity in his tone whatsoever. 

“Yeah, from the kitchen,” Sanji answered casually as he recapped the glass water bottle. 

“Usopp,” you warned. 

“And you said that she looked ‘flushed’?” Usopp asked, quirking a brow at the end of his question as he turned his gaze from you to Sanji. 

Sanji blinked in confusion, his eyebrows knitting together for a second before looking down at his crewmate. “Yeah...” he said slowly before continuing, “Her cheeks looked a little pink so I figured-” 

“Oh?” Usopp asked, his voice becoming louder. “You noticed the color of her cheeks, from that far away?” 

“Usopp,” you hissed louder but it fell on deaf ears. Once your friend got on a roll, there was little anyone could do about it. Especially when it came to teasing you about your feelings for Sanji. 

“Yeah,” Sanji replied to Usopp’s question with a confused smile. “What are you-” 

“GO FISH!” you blurted out loudly, cutting Sanji off and having both men turn their eyes towards you.  

“Huh?” Usopp blinked his eyes at you, suddenly remembering the game in front of him. “But I didn’t even ask you anything y/n. And you just drew a card, so it’s your turn to ask me.” 

You let out a quiet sigh of relief at the fact that Usopp stopped grilling Sanji with all of those embarrassing questions right in front of you....even though you couldn’t help but perk up at the fact that Sanji in fact had been watching you from the kitchen, and that he was sweet enough to bring you (and Usopp) some water.  

“Well, I tried,” you shrugged and lied, “but you just kept yapping so you didn’t hear me. Do you have the Queen of hearts?” 

Usopp studied you for a brief moment before looking at his cards, smirking to himself. “You know y/n, it’s funny you asked about the Queen of hearts,” he said as he plucked the requested card from his hand and reached out to give it to you, “since you make heart eyes yourself whenever you look at-” 

“GOOD game Usopp!” you practically yelled as you threw your cards down onto the barrel and stood up, hoping your outburst drowned out the name Usopp was about to so stupidly blurt out. You shook his free hand with both of yours as you said, “You totally win my friend.” 

“What?” Sanji laughed slightly as he watched you and Usopp shake hands. The poor guy was as confused as ever. “But the game isn’t over.” 

You looked Usopp dead in the eye as tightened your grip on his hand. “Oh no, it’s over. He definitely won.”  

Yeah, he won alright. He won the game of making your life a living hell and embarrassing you in front of Sanji. He won the gold medal in that game. 

“I sure did,” Usopp agreed triumphantly, putting his cards down. 

You dropped his hand and took the glass of cold water that Sanji had so generously poured, the cold glass making you feel better already. “Thank you for this Sanji. I think I’ll go enjoy this on my hammock inside.” 

You couldn’t bear to look at Sanji, feeling humiliated for no reason with your face on fire, you stepped away from the barrel sipping your water as you made your way across the deck towards the ship’s living quarters.  

“Yeah, that’s a good idea y/n!” Usopp called, giddy from the high that could only come from successfully teasing a friend. “Maybe that’ll help calm down your flushed face!” 

Before stepping inside, you flipped off a laughing Usopp, completely missing the brief look of disappointment in Sanji’s eyes as he watched you go. 

[kondietorei]

what could he be playing??

[vaguely-concerned]

merrill dragon age really reverse engineered an eluvian from first principles in a cave with a box of scraps and one single blighted shard. and STILL she gets no respect for it from anyone but potentially hawke, at least in a confused yet well-meaning 'are ya winning son' sort of way on the friendship path. dark days for women in STEM

(really though it seems the equivalent of a person in the middle ages putting together a nokia phone from rocks and sticks (and one coaching session from a spirit, fair enough) and then just not being able to figure out how to turn it on even though it is fully functioning. magically at least merrill is inarguably a genius. the tony stark of kirkwall. well not really that comparison falls apart pretty quickly but you see what I'm saying here lmao)

[1495-gauge]

there's that fucked up three-eyed thing that lives in the woods. whose turn is it to chase it off again??

[spineless-lobster]

Ben will literally say the most cryptic shit about the Captain and then move on like nothing happened

Like my guy what the fuck does this mean?!

[tswwwit]

other than just like..,.bickering and what not, what’s (in your opinion) the most romantic thing these two do. even if they won’t admit it or if it’s like on the down-low bc they’re goofs (lovingly)

I mean, they do do all the romantic stuff - going on dates, watching movies cuddled on the couch, candlelit dinners, holding hands as they watch the comforting light of the burning rubble of their enemies' houses - y'know, standard couple things! They just do it while bickering and pretending they aren't big dumb losers with huge crushes on each other.

[protectorsoftheearth]

So the magic being fucked up is living in my brain and I need to try and figure it out pls help

Here's what's confirmed

Sending doesn't work

Scrying, Augury, contacting other planes, clairvoyance, communing with divine entities all don't work

Teleportation circles have all been dispelled

Curses are stronger

Permanent light enchantments have been dispelled

Specifically 'old magic' enchantments have been dispelled, those thought permanent

Magically bound prisoners escaping

Petrification releasing

Magical items have not been affected by this mass dispel

Possible consequences from that

Trent, the other Cerberus mages and Caleb are no longer bound

The prison under Xhorhas has been fucked up, as has the Vault under the Platinum Sanctum in Vasselheim which includes the horn of Orcus and other terrifying magical artifacts

Hallow and other such protective longstanding enchantments are fucked, ie most temples and the blooming grove?

Ryn is no longer petrified

The binds on ukatoa and other such entities are released or in the process of being weakened? (also the divine gate is being weakened?)

Halas is free from his gem?

The mages in Aeor that were kept in stasis are now free

The binds on Vecna are released?

Is that it? Have I missed anything

[crimeronan]

thinking abt amity somehow finding luz and hunter in this timeline... insane.

shes at the door and her and hunter immediately start cursing at each other like??? what the fuck?? and since i bet amity would be in her scout uniform, i think camila would make some quick deductions. (they sent a child to kidnap my children? hello?)

but then luz comes at the door and is like "!!! amity!!!! :D" and instead of hunters usual insane protectiveness hes. oddly ok with this? and it takes exactly five seconds of amity and luz looking at each other for camila to pick up some vibes. (is the cult.. not homophobic? is this why her and hunter arent a thing? (shes wrong but efforts appreciated))

thinking about camila trying to glean the specifics of luz and hunter's paramilitary bunker doomsday death basement cult through context clues is So Fucking Funny. this poor woman. she's like statistically speaking they were almost certainly fundie christians but like. WERE THEY NOT FUNDIE CHRISTIANS??? luz doesn't even know who jesus IS.

i think if amity showed up at the door, after everyone had been introduced and it was established that there was no danger, camila would privately sit luz down and be like, "okay. luz. baby. you know i don't push you to share things you aren't ready to, you know i want you to feel safe and comfortable here above everything else. but luz. if there's, like. an entire schoolyard worth of kidnapped children living out in your former basement being tortured by a cult somewhere. Do You Understand Why I Need You To Tell Me About That,"

[sunflowersandcherryblossoms]

Karakura Team? No, fuck that!

Seireitei Team!

[anakinh]

genuinely do not understand how anyone could play crisis core and come out of it thinking that angeal possesses the brain cell between him, genesis, and sephiroth. there are no brain cells here.

[dancingplague]

I wish there was a good way to convey "I do not know enough about this subject to responsibly make a prediction here, but I can tell that you've made your prediction irresponsibly"

[jes12321]

AU in which Arthur thinks he has magic bc of all the weird stuff that happens around him (coughcough Merlin coughcough) so he tells Morgana who has already confided in Arthur about her dreams. They start learning to control their magic together, and Arthur actually learns how to do magic.

[anormalkidingotham]

gotham is once again covered in ice to the point where it is impossible to even open the door or windows because they are all frozen shut. even worse than that is that most of the pipes are frozen as well so the heaters don't work

[pearl-kite]

insert clever or poignant caption here ((and find a still version of it here))

[woolandcoffee]

Semi-regular reminder that I hate the term "artificial intelligence" becoming short hand for "marginally faster data sorting computer program" and I genuinely think a lot of y'all are foolish for taking the marketing bait.