#some stuff just doesnt work out
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did i mention i went thru all my cars fic drafts and added them together and got a total wordcount of 25k. help
#most of these written drafts will remain in writing graveyards#some stuff just doesnt work out#some i intend to finish. very exciting.#but ive got wayyy more than that in plotbunnies backlog#this month alone ive gotten bit severely by Several diff multichap ideas (short like. 3shots)#but still.gawd#twerk talks writing#there isnt enough time man
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Seeing some people (comments, posts, general discussion) talk about Hiranoâs love like it is inherently lesser, not as strong and "incompatible" with Kagiuraâs tells me all I need to know about yall bc regardless of what you thought before (questionably), there's no way you read chapter 29 and came to this conclusion
#hirano loves kagiura#by Kagiuraâs own definition of it he does#just because it doesnt fall under YOUR predefined definition of love or romance doesnt make it not such#thats literally what chapter 29 was about#am i going crazy#like yes hirano still has stuff to figure out about what it means for them because kagiura does want things that hirano doesnt right now#which is causing him to wonder if the overlap in their feelings is ENOUGH to make it work#but that does not negate that hirano loves him???#and he has for a while???#im only gonna tag this for spoiler purposes but#i dont like how some of yall talk about hirano#youre reading a manga called#hirano to kagiura#and you think it wont be about#the two characters??? together???#it may not seem ârealâ or âthe sameâ to you but we already went over this đ#crazy way to invalidate an entire characters identity based on YOUR preconceived notions of how he should have been writtenâ#âthat align with YOUR biases#hirano to kagiura spoilers
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time đ„Č i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the lightâit's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationshipâit's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if youâve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"justâ" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyesâa deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don'tâ"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy partâ
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
âwhat was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's notâ" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "âit's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his partsâall the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn'tâthe reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his bodyâthat he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japanâs historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't lookingâhis fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
thereâs a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you noticeâa little wistful if anything.
âdo you miss it?â you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if heâs been caught with a secret heâs been trying to hide.
heâs learned a fair bit about you now, too, thoughâlying to you is futile when youâve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
âsometimes,â he admits, but you know itâs an understatement.
âi think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,â he continues, clenching his fists tightly, âi always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesnât work that way.â
âi⊠i try to replicate the right conditions every night, butâŠâ then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. itâs rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that heâs been through.
âis that why you prefer the dark?â you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings â he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.đ„©
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watching house and tryna keep track of all the hilson moments, but sometimes it just surprises me how wilson and house are just . always together đđ like mf arent you an oncologist this is not your department??
#need to read more abt hilson tbh#AUGH BUT THE HILSON MOMENTS SO FAR pls not the âđ¶we might kissđ¶â scene thats just . theyre gay omg#i ship hilson the most fundamentally but im ngl house has crazy chemistry w some of these people likeâŠ. cuddy. i love her#i dont ship them but i love her. i sort of almost ship him and cameron? but.. its just⊠like i dont ship him w anyone rly#i just think he and wilson are emotionally tied together forever#some sort of life line thats been knotted against their wills#but not exactly shipping??? augh its so complicated i mean i want them to kiss but at the same time theyre the balances to each others view#and scales in the world . sighh#theyre like oxygen and lungs- its not right and it doesnt work without the other#actually insane#and i think its hard to ship house with anyone because he never shows any affection or opens up to ANYONE and i actually think it got worse#in season 2 đđ#seven different people telling him how miserable he actually is and hes not doing ANYTHING only drugs and being meaner#house omg when i catch you house#silly talkz :p#augh people telling him stuff they dont like abt him but he already knows bc he fucking HATES HIMSELF and he never tells anyone like FUCK#please house at least tell wilson some more. i know wilson understands the best out of everyone but he is far from actually knowing whats#going on#ok end of the yap#malpractice md#house md#hilson
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[Start ID. A redraw of the official icons of the ten named slugcats from Rain World, arranged in two rows: Survivor, Monk, Hunter, Nightcat, and Gourmand in the first, Artificer, Rivulet, Spearmaster, Saint and Enot/Inv in the second. Each is drawn in roughly the same pose as in the original art and fitted with speculative interpretations of their biology, and the second image is a âdeadâ version of this. For example, all ten have slug-like rhinophores in place of ears, cuttlefish-like colorful eyes with strangely-shaped pupils, cephalopod-like beak "teeth", expressive barbels or oral tentacles at the corners of mouths, spiny radulas, and the frilly mantle fringes of sea slugs, though otherwise their faces are squishy, simple and mammalian-shaped.
Cream-colored Survivor and yellow Monk both share triangular, bicolored spots matching their eyes (which are tan and brown, and two shades of blue, respectively), small, bumpy fringes, and relatively neutral looks on their faces. Defensive-looking Hunter is mostly a dull orange-pink, though their blobby fringe is a more violent red and their back is purple and marred with lumps. Nightcat is navy blue and flecked with dots of yellow and teal, their rolled rhinophores are a lighter blue, and their shading fractures into stars in some places. Gourmand is almost uniformly tan, their wide, very ruffly white mantle fringe bordered by a spray of white spots, and their beak sticks out from either corner of their smile. Primarily red Artificer, snarling, has yellow markings of multiple sorts, a prominent yellow dewlap and their characteristic dark scar taking out a chunk of its face. Rivulet is a darker blue than usual, with long barbels, red gills and rings, countershading, and a cheerful expression, sticking out their radula. Spearmaster is purple with orange accents, eyes and spots, a large fringe and spines down their back. Saintâs green caryophyllidia are marked by small, yellow diamonds, and their long, thin radula extends far below them. Enot is decorated with mottled red stripes, blue patches, yellow stars, and an uneven and almost cartoonish imitation of blush, though generally the same deep blue as Nightcat, a passive or almost slightly smug look on their face and their rolled rhinophores out to either side.
In the second image, nine of the slugcatsâ eyes are crossed out, indicating that these are death icons. They look fairly the same, with mostly expression differences. Survivor is caught in the beginning of a threat display, a karma flower sprouts from Monkâs side, Hunter is burdened with overgrowing, purple and blue rot, Nightcatâs rhinophores are pinned back, and Gourmand looks mildly disheartened. For the final row, Artificer bites its radula between small plumes of smoke, Rivulet drops their expression, Spearmaster looks very startled, Saint looks almost entirely the same besides half-open eyes and their markings greater in number, and Enot grins confusedly. End ID]
If you'll excuse the unusually lengthy ID: the arena meme introduced by @pansear-doodles at long last after a nearly year-long wip status (or, rather, finished a month ago today to honor my own first time playing it!)
Design notes and shout-outs under cut! :]
The following people are some of those whoâve inspired my designs most since I started this eight months ago (or just inspired me to get a little weirder with slugcat biology), among many others for sure, and I thank them for itâbut this is simply to bring attention to artists I find cool, and in no way an obligation to interact or anything :]
> @saturncoyote , @carpsoup , @charseraph , @gallusgalluss , @bitsbug , @dopscratch , and @0hmanit (and a special mention to dddeerbo and hunterlonglegs, whoâve since deactivated)!
Survivor: Surprisingly the hardest to pin down the colors for, since nothing with its sibling's palette seemed to match up right (I did have to add in a little blue somewhere for Monk, the beginning of making it clear how much Iâm simply going based off of vibes for the colors of scug innards). I consider them, Monk and Gourmand to be part of the same gene pool of slugcats, and even possibly the same colony even if the latter isn't really related, so took a bit of Gourmand's coloring and fit them in with their inspiration: Goniobranchus verrieri. They serve as a bit of an introduction to my ideas of scug traits (i find it really fun how many people have thought to add so many silly sluglike fixtures of biology completely independent of me, buuut here Iâm mostly talking about species variation), and like in-game theyâre pretty average! They, Monk and Hunter have a couple scars sourced from a piece of Joar's concept art that I'm failing to find, those across the bridge of the nose, under the eyes, and across the rhinophores, respectively, and my Survivor interpretation features many on the back of the neck, as a result of survived lizard bites.
Monk: Their coloring is primarily based off the fact that I associate them with blue fruits, honestly, a bit because I was compelled to establish a familiarity with Rivulet, and lastly inspired by the spots of Goniobranchus kuniei (and geminus, less important to me as one of my characters is a kuniei instead, but more fitting). Between the yellow + blue and the circular marking in the center of their face, theyâre meant to bear a little resemblance to an iterator that shares similarities with the characterization Iâve given them, and similar coding of her sibling can be seen on Survivorâs markings around the eyes. As both a âdefaultâ slugcat and one whose campaign I havenât played, though, I canât say I have much more to point out about em.
Hunter: The whole rot thing made for a really fun time drawing them, and while the color change on their back is a result of this, itâs also an excuse to relate them to Babakina festiva, arguably my favorite sea slug (mostly for sentimental purposes). And to Spearmaster, a fellow messenger slugcat, and it serves as a gradient between Hunterâs pink and the âtraditionalâ color of Rot seen in the DLLs. Aside from their affliction, theyâd actually be the plainest in terms of design, as they donât have any patterns or quirks of body type, just the red + purple and strange lumps + possible malnutrition. I canât remember if NSH had created them in particular or just...caught + released or something, but it probably wouldnât be strange for a lab-grown slugcat to be simple like that.
Gourmand: Like the two above, theyâre rather plain in terms of coloring and adaptation, and like the two above, I find that fun. I decided it would be nice to avert the âall slugcats being of the same body type, and Gourmandâs out of place as the exceptionâ thing by just...adding more fat to all of them, really. I did want to emphasize their sheer bulk even so, both fat and muscular (not like I couldnât have still gone further with it, of course, but slugcat anatomy can be a little obfuscating sometimes, and they were intended to look rather plush considering personal size headcanons and therefore the lack of proper gravity), and the thick and flounced mantle looked like a good addition, as per their sea slug Glossodoris hikuerensis. Unlike Survivor and Monk, I didnât attempt to hold their resemblance to any particular other character (which means a little less to balance out the âdefault gene poolâ thing), so those are all the design notes I have for em.
Artificer: The second slugcat Iâve ever played, or finished the campaign of, my favorite for at least a long time, and the first thing I did was give them yellow accents, the shape of which have troubled me slightly (not quite like the spots or stripes of the others). Theyâre both a little more appealing and more explosive-looking to me, and considering how early on I played Arti, actually present in some of my older art. It does give them a little resemblance to Saint (completely intentional, two slugcats with strange relations to karma), as well as the fact that its radula is green for familiarity with one of its children (at some point it was going to have all-green markings, even!). Iâm generous with their scars, partly because it was fun to overemphasize the one on their face and partly because it does seem like a reckless slugcat, on top of the dangers of its explosive abilitiesâIâll probably just keep adding more forever. Mostly-red sea slugs arenât too common, but Hexabranchus sanguineus works for sure. The ridged, yellow dewlap can expand for combustion purposes, or something along those lines. Artiâs where I began experimenting with a lot of the mildly-offkilter features seen in my interpretation of slugcats, as theyâve once again been a favorite from the start.
Rivulet: I've obviously given other slugcats spots, deeply enjoy the bubbly-soda markings of other peoples' slugcats, and thought seal riv would be cute. Despite not too closely resembling it, they've been government-assigned Hypselodoris bennetti, for color reasons and for a couple sentimental ones. Originally, the colors of every scug were meant to match up with the custom colors I gave them at the beginning of their campaigns, (though Arti, Gourm and Spearmy are the only three who actually apply here, since I've only played through half the slugcats: I gave arti the yellow as mentioned above, gourm brown eyes and spearmy light pink spears, furthered by the outskirts pearl accompanying me and that palette all the way to moon. Tolerance training for eternity in hell cause I already knew about the maroon pearl quest). I initially gave them the colors of the bi flag for fun... but with the limited palette of this image, I was left without pink for a while and decided to see how they'd look in red. I then realized how they now wonderfully matched Moon, and besides, red's a sort of camouflage in deep water! As a side-note, the difference between their eyes and those of others always bothered me a little for anatomical purposes, and the cephalopod eyes were probably influenced by this!
Spearmaster: Inspired as much as possible by @notyourfunnyman âs wonderful spearmy: designed in a way that helps it fit in with scavengers, at least between the long sensory tentacles, big ruff, back spines and slightly thin/distended anatomy, a form of defensive mimicry. I always had annulate rhinophores in mind, for a little diversity sure, but mostly because the shape reminds me of radio antennae and communication towers (seems fitting for the comms array and being a messenger slugcat)! I started searching for a real-life slug to give them just by looking up their rhinophore shape...and was met immediately and coincidentally with annulate-topped nudibranchs that fit them more perfectly than I could've imagined: Flabellina and surrounding clades, I think Paraflabellina ischitana works very nicely. The orange was completely unplanned, but there wasnât a place for light pink among the other slugcatsâ palettes, and importantly it likens them to both Hunter and Seven Red Suns a little more.
Saint: I am very much a non-furred slugcat enjoyer, with respect to those who arenât, so figuring out the only visibly furred slugcat was an interesting challenge. Iâve decided that they likely have other, milder adaptations for help in the cold, mainly just more efficient fat storage, and what looks vaguely like fur is instead a bunch of tubercles (called caryophillia, for the second reminder out of three). Their inspiration doesnât have these, however, Miamira sinuataâs numerous yellow and blue spots (not to mention...whateverâs going on with that shape) and general effect of being the only really green nudibranch I could find were probably perfect for a strange green echo. Not pictured, but their beak-teeth are tiny and flat to make a surface for grinding soft food against with the lack of a functioning radula, which is tipped with a specialized spiny âgrapple-hookâ for better traction/grip (not to mention the numerous little teeth running down the whole thing).
(Best part of hiding this under a readmore means edits will be seen by all reblogs, I'm mostly sure, because I completely forgot to mention! The spots on their forehead are simple eyes. Their camera eyes appear closed in-game, I like to believe their complex eyesight is rather poor anyways or otherwise reason that they aren't seeing out of those, and while this was far from her REASON for attunement with the world, it does help compensate for mainly viewing it through a canvas of simple light and dark. This, and the fact that their swapped-out "fur" is not only to commit to a lack of hairs but contributes to sensory input!)
Nightcat/Enot: I guess you could say I found the âthese two are technically the same personâ compelling. (E.g. similar colors, both very strange and enigmatic, and Enot/Inv/Sofanthielâs remark during the dating sim about getting removed from Arena Mode.) I doubt theyâre the only two slugcats in their body, considering humans with DID tend to have more than a few (and I find it very funny that a slugcat bearing resemblance to Nightcat appears in Gourmandâs ending. Theyâre allowed in the colony and Enot isnât </3), and I have to credit @faelingdraws âs art for being what convinced me on it! Their design inspirations come down to trying to balance a few different ideas: making the patterns and palettes of both look oddly similar (special mention to the stars, since those are fun to draw), basing them off of Felimare sechurana and juliae respectively, using blocks of color with the same placement as in Enotâs official art, and specifically making Enot look...biologically reasonable and imperfect, whilst also clearly trying to imitate human displays of emotion (what with...the eyes and blush on that one piece of official art).
Lastly, hereâs just a lineup with notes on body shape and size. Most of the nicknames (existing to give a little more space, thatâs all) are obvious, and while I canât remember why I shortened Nightcat to Nox, it is in honor of my friend by the same nickname :]
#survivor rain world#monk rain world#hunter rain world#nightcat rain world#gourmand rain world#artificer rain world#rivulet rain world#spearmaster rain world#saint rain world#enot rain world#slugcat rain world#rain world#peridots-art#< feels like too long since that last tag's been used. i can say with certainty that the majority of the reason i haven't been just as#active here (not to mention not drawing as often since that's relevant) is just due to my life getting busier with a new school year but i#do miss putting my stuff here! and would like to reblog more on top of that.... so forgive not remembering exactly how to tag everything#(and how to write everything up there but to be fair it's not like long textposts were a staple of mine. i mostly just rambled and it was#fun hehehe.....some of those notes (parts of riv/spears mostly) were written around the beginning of the drawing itself)#OH i messed something up with the drafting and really did not mean to post it while tags were in progress! but regardless. i would've liked#to post it tomorrow to mirror how i was going to post it on JAN 29 a month ago......but it's not like i'm unhappy with this outcome :]#to sum it up really though it's been strange working on this for so long.....unfortunate to not get a chance to let it be seen and keep#experimenting with odd biology much earlier but i'm just glad it's out now cause i am proud of these!! it's been a lot of fun and slugcats#are still my go-to doodles :] if i had to end this off promptly though what's up with that secret pipeyard shelter as gourm that's not on#the maps. connected to vs_a04. doesn't appear on the miraheze or interactive maps for anyone strangely but i've only been there as gourmand#anyway! i'm sure there's a lot i could've said in the rush but goodbye dear reader anyway :]#i forgot spearmy initially. i'm so sorry#peridots-described#< NOOOO THAT DOESNT SHOW UP THERE'RE TOO MANY TAGSS.......
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anyone else like this guy ??
#this was kinda just supposed to let off steam cuz im soooo messed up rn but. i got rlly into it#i finished the game today btw. can you tell who my fave is?? haha...#IM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM I PROMISE#everytime he extended his arm out like that i just couldnt stop thinking about ibuprofen. it haunted me#also btw. im really actually super normal about using a wide range of colours to represent a character btw. you can trust me with art#you can trust me with drawing applications and fictional men (lying)#i plan on drawing more at some point when im not busy with irl stuff and comm stuff. cuz i am rlly crazy abt this game actually.#anyways. how to tag this...#togainu no chi#nitro+chiral#tnc#togainu no chi fanart#idk what else man .#sheetzking#unculturedswine69#also i know it doesnt rlly look like him. im working on it. shut up . give me atleast 5 notes on this or ill be mean
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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"
#jason todd#kyle rayner#jaykyle#mypost#dc thoughts#vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or#i'll make them wear the get along shirt again#WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then#wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out#dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings#kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little#roy is the fight scene choreographer#i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough#actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals#ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals#raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical#rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED#connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead#he doesnt want this#steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too#jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials#tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia#damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art#this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH#damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up#dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO#i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles#are to be determined
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never volunteer for anything university related man. also go listen to this
#first i thought oh it would just be this one poster. why not. i can do that. i have time. so i did#they told me the general aesthetic and no further details so i thoughtâ ohâ okayâ so i can basically freestyle this. yknowâ like an idiot#they told me to change the color schemeâ the fontâ the color of the font tooâ pretty much redo the entire poster#and these are notes i would be getting late at night. like around 12-2am. i had to revise that poster a shitload of times and was#tired. and then i was done and i thought Welp! at least that's over!#little did i know they were actually planning for me to do MORE WORK: design diplomas/certificates and make one for all the people needed#So here i am 12 diplomasâ 24 certificatesâ 31 letter of thanks later#all done in one person. all done in two days (deadline was until the end of the week but i couldnt start until at least thursday)#I couldnt start because they sent me the wrong list of people first. so i had to cram(heh) a lot. of hours of work in these past 2 days#Yknow at least they liked my design the first time and i didnt have to revise anything. but ohhhh the fucking. filling out the papers for#each person. absolutely daunting. especially in something like ibispaint x that doesnt have an option to align text to the center#of the canvas. which is more my fault because i am an ibispaint x user. but anyway#They sent me the correct official document. it had incomplete information because they just didnt write patronymics or grades in the#official document. so i had to go and check the first table and figure out everyone's information myself#but the thing is thatâ that table must've been written by the students/participants because stuff like Name Of University wasn't consistent#some literally wrote their school's names wrong and i had to double-check that and fix that for the certificates. fine. whatever#but remember the official document? now imagine it even MORE incomplete because there is a list of at least 10 people and just their#SURNAMES AND INITIALS. so like a digital archeologist i had to go and dig up the names and patronymics of teachers and students i've never#heard of in my fucking life. i had to ask my older friends like Hey is there any chance you know the patronymic of your groupmate thanks???#and the cherry on top. is that the Official Document has a bunch of grammatical errors in it. the most fucking basic ones.#'Đ°ĐœĐ°ŃŃаŃОД' instead of 'Đ°ĐœĐ°ŃŃаŃОО'â 'ĐżŃĐ”ĐżĐŸĐŽĐŸĐČаŃДлŃ' instead of 'ĐżŃĐ”ĐżĐŸĐŽĐ°ĐČаŃДлŃ'#so i had to look out for those TOOâ While Tired (i almost copied the mistakes because all of my work required referencing the doc#but they couldnt even write a fucking grammatically correct or consistent doc so that's nice)#anyways i sent all 67 files and my supervisor said she will look over them 'during the evening'#I dont know what her fucking definition of evening is considering it's already 6pm. i guess i expect to be messaged at 2am once more to fix#some inconsequential bullshit#let's just say i am just a liiiiiittle bit . just sliiightly . burnt out#Call me a vessel the way im full of void but also completely hollow#alas . at least there is fanmade threat music to listen to on loop#crammerposting
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an attempt at a different history (that doesn't imply the elves are to blame for their own suffering, or that the elves and the dwarves aren't 'real' people, unlike humans)
the titans were the first of the dwarves. their children were many, and smaller by necessity. the titans created great caverns in the earth for their children, and the dwarves built their cities on top of them, so that they would always be close to their ancestors. there wasn't room in the growing world for the titans to roam, but they were content to feel their children thrive, and to share their experiences through the song that connected them. the evanuris were what the dalish believed them to be; their creators. whether they were powerful spirits or gods, they gained power through their peoples' belief in them.
both the dwarves and the elves thrived for a long time, distinct from each other but coexisting together.
then came the forgotten ones. the forbidden ones. they lived in the void, and their followers were the first practitioners of blood magic. they killed dragons to use their blood to augment themselves, until it twisted them into something unrecognisable. they became the scaled ones. while the forgotten ones waged war against the evanuris on the surface, the scaled ones began attacking the dwarves. andruil, who'd spent a lot of time among the dwarves (which is why there was a dalish belief she might've been a child of the stone) began to hunt them, ignoring calls for caution from her fellow evanuris, until she tracked them into the void. her armor, crafted from lyrium (a gift from the dwarves), became infected with the blight, and it drove her mad. she returned from the void and brought the blight with her, corrupting her lands and her people, until mythal fought her and removed her armor, but andruil remained infected, though the madness left her.
ghilan'nain began experimenting with the blight to search for a cure. those experiments eventually led to the creation of the griffons, but she was unable to find a cure. it became a desperate obsession, and through her experiments she became infected with the blight herself, but found that she was able to control it to some extent. she began to believe that if there was no stopping it, no curing it, perhaps controlling it was the next best option. her experiments became more focused on controlling it rather than curing it the more it corrupted her.
with the blight and the forgotten ones to contend with, elgar'nan called for harsher measures to be taken, and many of the evanuris sided with him. meanwhile, solas had been slowly working to gain the trust of the forgotten ones, in an attempt to learn of their weaknesses, and was able to move freely between them, with mythal covering for him with the other evanuris. she continued to push for restraint instead of all out war, fearing what the destruction would do to their people. the other evanuris eventually became suspicious of both this and solas' actions, and believed she'd been corrupted by the forgotten ones. in the ensuing confrontation, she was killed. the other evanuris, who had genuinely loved her as she loved them, and who had never experienced death before, lost themselves to grief and despair, and without her hand to temper elgar'nan's desire for vengeance, all out war seemed inevitable.
and so solas created the veil, separating the evanuris and the forgotten ones from the world and containing the blight in the process. his hope was that with time and patience, he'd be able to talk the evanuris down from a path that led to more death and bloodshed, by communicating with them while they slept, unaware that the energy it would take would send him into centuries of slumber. the fade severed the titans' connection to the dwarves (but did not render them tranquil), and the elven civilisation crumbled.
centuries later, the forgotten ones reached the tevinter magisters in their dreams, established themselves as the old gods, and led them to break into their fade prison, releasing them and the blight upon the world.
when the dwarves of kal-sharok were cut off from the deep roads in an attempt to save the dwarven civilisation, they discovered one of ghilan'nains labs. using her research into blight and her creation of the griffons, they became 'like the darkspawn'. these were the first wardens.
#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age#dragon age critical#veilguard critical#not sure how to tag this really#its not perfect by any means but its an Attempt#to make some of the lore revalations work with the established lore from the previous games without like. retconning stuff#or making the evanuris just evil because even setting aside the implications. its so Flat#plus again. the dalish already had legends about the forgotten ones. they were right there!!! there was no need to make their gods evil sig#might try working out how ghilan'nain and elgar'nan are still the antagonists without them being just Evil later but this post got too long#and it doesnt cover everything#but anyways. once again wrote this at 3am when i shouldve been sleeping#ghilan'nain#the dalish#the evanuris
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The other researchers are also here! (magical edition!)
#neopets#neotag#neoart#eyrie#gelert#THE BOYS ARE HEREEE#vin doods#my beautiful magical boyssss#had some time to kill this weekend so might as well finish rendering some stuff i have lying around lmao#its ironic cause my oc stuff is the stuff that gets less views or reacts overall but is the ones im more interested in for the most part#its been a while since i've actually really loved an bunch of ocs and this 4 (technically 5) are going to be the death of me lol#just to be consistent with the other post#eyrie's name is Ozzi or Oz#and gelert's name i'm still unsure of but for now I'm going with Faeran#i'm so emotionally invested in these characters you have no idea LMFAOO#also I did base Faeran's looks in a lot of âlong dogsâ like borzois and the ears just came naturally to me lol#I'm still working on a doc with all the info for those interested tho buuut if any are reading by this point feel free to ask about them!!#I'll just never shut up lol#the neopia i did put them in is a tad bit more.... âdarkâ?? i guess??#its less abstractly magical and i did have to find out how to build a magic system for everything to work lol#and my dnd knowledge did filter a l o t into it so sorry bout that oops:;;#anyway this is too long and hardly anyone really reads this much but hey! finally my babies have faces so i don't feel so bad!!!#it doesnt help that i post this stuff at buttfuck hours LMFAOO
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i think going fishing would fix me
#or maybe dip netting so i can look at pretty specimens#i really do need to get a fishing license so i can get some trout and process it for eating#im getting a little less sick with the warm weather but theres other stuff i need to work towards first#my area has a lot of really cool fish actually :} if i told you what kinds it would dox me though so you'll have to guess haha#should probably pick up more knife skills in advance so i can debone it easier though. and learn how to dispatch the fish -#very quick and painlessly. its cruel how ive seen them killed before and i cant stomach it. you owe it to the animal to dispatch quickly#ough. hopefully my health doesnt take a nosedive i want to go out this year and learn and grow and change and hit milestones -#i honestly never thought id be able to tbh. whether that be from audhd or just being sick yeah?#i wanna learn how to make shoes and how to talk to people. i wanna learn the best fishing spots and how to patch my pants invisibly#i wanna carve some bowls with strands of wheat on the sides and i want to build muscle strength back up#i want to fix the cracked step. and oil the hinges on doors so they dont squeak#i wanna finish my neon colored knit socks! i want to get better! i want novel experiences!#i could have probably put this on my sideblog but i think it will be fine. im going to finish my socks today#good morning. good evening. good night. please have an absolutely wonderful day. i hope you can do the things you've been too sick to do too#not a horse
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I've been working on Finally finishing Naruto Shippuden (after being a Naruto fan for nearly 15 years), & I just finished episode 420. And I have some THOUGHTS about the "Naruto is the reincarnation of Ashura" thing. This started as just me rambling for my normal liveblog posting, but I had a LOT of thoughts about this actually, so I am presenting them to u all Now.
So. Naruto meeting the Sage of Six Paths! Cool!!! I'm finally learning about Naruto being the reincarnation of Ashura, which... honestly is not a choice that I like very much. Narratively speaking, I mean. The Point of Naruto's journey was that he was the underdog, the bottom of his class, the orphan that everyone hated and made fun of. Through hard work and perseverance, he managed to drag himself from being a complete social outcast to someone generally really loved and respected. That's compelling!!! It means a lot!!!
But then the show is like. "Oh...actually, he's the son of the fourth hokage. And Also, he's the reincarnation of the son of the literal creator of ninshuu aka the precursor of modern ninjutsu." I mind him being Minato's son less as a narrative choice (for reasons I will get into shortly), but making him Ashura's reincarnation?? I've got Several things that bug me about that.
So First, for him being Minato's son. It's not like that's ever Actually given him any sort of status (since most people don't know), & Minato was also kind of just a random guy?? Just incredibly skilled, enough so to become the 4th hokage. And then there's also Kushina, descended from a very successful and very Feared clan that ended up almost entirely killed bc of that fear. Naruto being an Uzumaki means great power, huge chakra reserves (not even including the extra chakra he gets from Kurama), & some innate skills (that Naruto mostly didn't inherit, but one can play pretend sometimes). BUT ALSO, they were almost entirely killed off. He's a survivor of his clan's genocide that happened well before he was even born, and he doesn't even REALIZE it yet. So even though being Minato's son means he's the son of a very influential person, it doesn't give him the same leverage as being a Senju or Uchiha would. And the clan he Does belong to bc of Kushina does not give him status either, bc they're almost all fuckin Dead. And we know that Minato is a Namikaze, but as for what that actually *means*.... it's basically nonexistent. There is no mention of a Namikaze clan. Minato was just a prodigy in his own right.
SO.... All that is to say that while appending Naruto's orphan story with a "well, Actually, his parents were very powerful and well respected" does discount it a little bit, it's still not Especially unique in terms of what other people in their world may experience (there are other descendants of current and/or former kage + Many other powerful clans running around) OR in the benefits that it gives him (essentially nothing, outside of his physical strength and the inheritance of Kurama himself)(which inheriting Kurama did grant him access to IMMENSE power, but it also was the source of So Much of his suffering growing up, so I think it balances out).
The "reincarnation of Ashura, son of the Sage of Six Paths" thing tho... that one really kinda does. At that point, Naruto is no longer just the orphaned son of two respected shinobi & the current jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi (something special, but not entirely original, given that there are Other jinchuuriki who are descendants of powerful shinobi). He is now something that NO ONE ELSE ALIVE can be. It is saying that He, above Everyone Else, is special in this way. Outside of Sasuke lol, but I'll touch on that in a moment.
It just feels kinda cheap. It's cool I guess, but at this point it feels like we've completely lost the Plucky Orphan who works hard to overcome his circumstances plot. It's saying that he was Always one of a kind, he was Always destined to become Someone Special (or that he was, in fact, special the whole time). It removes the importance of his hard work in the equation. It makes it so that this is no longer something he earned for himself, but rather something that was a Given, since he is, of course, Ashura's reincarnation.
Cheap. It's cheap. And I don't like it.
Then we get into Sasuke being the reincarnation of Indra. Which I haven't gotten to that yet in the show, but I know from seeing it around. I do enjoy the sun and moon aesthetic between Naruto and Sasuke (so SO much, in fact), but. Making Sasuke the reincarnation of the Other son of the Sage of Six Paths is... frustrating? In several ways. There is of course the fact that Naruto and Sasuke have such extremely gay vibes (and Always Have), so making them the reincarnations of brothers so late in the story feels like an insult to anyone who reads their relationship in that way. Which to be fair, we do see Naruto mention at a few points that he thinks of Sasuke like a brother, but it's only a few points + feels like a kind of narrative cop-out. Sasuke himself said he doesn't think of Naruto in that way (though that could also be his self-denial speaking & it could change. Haven't gotten that far yet.), & I think there are much better choices for Naruto's "brother" figure (primarily Iruka, but people like Killer Bee and any of the other konoha 12 would be fitting too). Personally, it feels like Naruto was trying to put a name to his very strong feelings for Sasuke, & since he doesn't realize being gay is an option (since Kishimoto is clearly homophobic & made this ninja society to reflect that), he settled on Brother. But Sasuke is like "what the fuck? No, my only brother is Itachi." Instead, Sasuke has called Naruto his best friend. Which also doesn't fully encompass their relationship, but it's still closer than Brother.
So here we are, Kishimoto saying around 555 episodes into the plot (only 80 more to go) that they're actually the reincarnations of brothers. And not just any brothers. THE sons of the Sage of Six Paths. Incredibly influential, incredibly powerful, two sides of the same coin and very historically significant figures. Sasuke always had the "descended from an elite, yet disgraced clan" thing going for him, so in my opinion it doesn't hold the same kind of insult to his story that it does for Naruto. But it still feels like an insult to THEIR story.
Naruto and Sasuke were just two orphan boys. Their moms were best friends, but they didn't know that. They died when they were too young. But Naruto and Sasuke still gravitated towards one another. Understood each other like no one else. And got on each other's nerves like no one else. But that irritation stemmed from their genuine admiration of each other. They wanted to be able to beat each other. They became Rivals. And it was on their own terms. No one else pushed them together. Outside of them ending up on the same team, their entire relationship was fueled by their recognition of one another, Jealousy of one another, and the simple enjoyment of being around one another. They were the ones to decide the importance of their relationship. Sasuke recognizing Naruto as his closest friend & thus thinking he was the one he had to cut off to achieve power, and Naruto recognizing Sasuke as his first peer that acknowledged him, a precious bond he finally made, and thus someone he had to cling to FIERCELY. That was all them.
But here we are. They're a reincarnated set. The sun and the moon, but Officially. One could say soulmates in a way, in a non-romantic kind of context (considering the first iteration was a pair of brothers). While this is cool from a story standpoint, it really takes some significance away from their relationship to me. It makes it less of something they chose for themselves and more of a given. Pretty much just like Naruto being Ashura's reincarnation cheapens his own story, it cheapens their relationship too.
I dont want a story about two boys who were destined to be important to each other!!!! I want a story about two orphans who just happened to become important to one another thru a series of coincidences and personal choices. In that way, their relationship gains greater gravity bc it's born from their own hearts Alone. It's Naruto moving mountains for the sake of this boy he loves, and it's Sasuke finally coming back around bc of the force of Naruto's dedication. It means so much more than the implication that they were always meant to be a pair. So I really don't like this narrative choice.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#naruto#narusasu#sasunaru#(i talk about how the reincarnation thing affects the context of their relationship lower down in the post)#naruto spoilers#if anyone still cares about those lol#anyways it's been really cool to finally see all this late-show stuff for myself after being in the fandom for so long#(i was caught up once upon a time. but that was around episode 200 or so lol)#but as much as im enjoying some things in the show. there are other things that i just... dont like.#part of that is nearly Half the entirety of shippuden being the fucking war arc. it's precisely what's kept me from catching up until now#but then theres the loss of the story's original Feeling. the anti-war and anti-child soldiers sentiment.#Naruto being an absolute nobody and watching Haku and Zabuza's ending & being so moved by it that it informs his entire ninja way#but Kishimoto is turning around and saying 'he was actually destined for this the whole time'. which just... i just really don't like it.#this + Neji's death feels like it's discounting their fight's entire point. Neji's entire character arc.#the fact that fate doesnt matter as much as dedication. being a 'genius' doesnt matter as much as effort.#but Neji. the caged bird. dies to protect the main line. driving home that it was pointless for him to resist it the whole time.#and Naruto. the one who worked tirelessly to become hokage against all odds and adversity. turns out it was Meant To Be after all.#sigh... i really do love this anime so much. ive loved it for most of my memory and its characters are so so dear to me.#but i also. really. REAAAAAAAAALLY hate this anime sometimes. damned anime discounting its own points...#alas. i shall continue to watch. because i do want to finally finish it.#i shall simply. probably not watch Boruto afterwards lol
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Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop
To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.
The short answer:
Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!
The long answer:
I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.
Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.
Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.
Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.
What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.
So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!
#I wish there were a cleaner answer to this kind of thing#and I also wish that there were a way to answer that didnt feel like 'just do it lol'#but... genuinely you kind of just have to do it!#I find it helps to reframe writing as trying to figure out which ideas I don't like#then if I write anything that feels bad to me#it's not about being a bad writer or anything like that. it's just something I dont want in my story and I delete it.#like if you find yourself naturally coming up with worldbuilding elements. its okay to just start there!#you can start like 'I really want giant mushrooms' and then start thinking about how cool that would be#and like oooh what if there were really cool caves full of mushrooms and all glowy yeaaah#then you start building people from that. colonies of fungal people or something. this is still worldbuilding#then you might think now. whats a plot that could go with this and show off my cool mushrooms.#maybe the mushrooms are all connected and the main one is dying and no one knows why. it's a classic plot.#if you still dont feel like you can find a character in that. keep going! why is it dying? how can it be saved? can it? if not then why?#etc etc etc. when I am writing I actually ltierally write out 101 questions like this as I'm going and then I answer them#and if I cant answer them. then I figure out a different situation that doesnt bring that question up LMFAO#eventually you can decide you want a hero who idfk will replace the big mushroom or something. a sacrifice and immortality simultaneously#then you can be like yeah so my themes are probably about sacrifice. connection to others. love for your community. stuff like that#and then you can go back to your world and say. yeah I think that people should have telepathic communication on some level!#I'm just making all this up right now but I just want to illustrate somehow how this kind of cyclical process can actually be a tool#because it's not about getting it all right at once. its about leaning into the cycle and how it guides you through developing these#anyways idk if this makes any sense. if this doesnt feel like it works for you then it probably literally doesnt#but writing more and analyzing writing more is ALWAYS good#it will never make your writing worse to do those things.#unfortunately (said with all the love in the world) writing is an endless process of learning more about who you are and what you care abou#its wonderful but it's hard and theres no way to skip that process#good luck!#asks#anon#writing stuff#oh also if at any point you go hm. that big thing isnt working for me I think...
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kinda sorta feel shit about my art atm so i just half assed it all.
#i hate the face and just most of the rendering#its almost all shit#the pose is odd#the background doesnt fit#NOT the hello kitty shit but like it feels disjointed from his pose#i feel like im somehow getting further from semi realism#my art feels worse augh#sorry#im not trying to vent like an annoying fuck but#zooming out and looking at it disappoints me a little#idk why i was expecting to like it more like the style i have in my head#i know i need to work on stuff for my art to get to the point i want it to be at but idk#i wish it was just good#his face proportions are so wrong#i could tell as soon as i zoomed out#but ://#prolly not gonna touch it#paint tool sai doesnt have liquify so id have to suffer with fixing it by hand#the guitar feels bad#the everything feels awful#im meh on the shading and lighting of his arm#some of it is half assed and then the actual silver part i used an old ref of some armour i accidentally rendered nicely#i need to practice sm more#cyberpunk 2077 fanart#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand fanart#johnny silverhand
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ok so i wasn't planning on posting a wip before buying materials because this project is really dependent on me being able to find the right fabric but i'm really really happy with this mockup made of poster board I used to use to protect my desk while painting and sculpting so uhhhhhh
guess whoo :]
#wip#toontown#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#firestarter#flint bonpyre#cosplay wip#I AM SO ON THAT CREATION GRIND RN. NOBODY CAN STOP ME#sorry the mirror is a bit dirty el oh el#if i cant find brown stripe fabric i'll probably buy grey stripe fabric and dye it and if that doesnt work idk what i'll do#but besides that the blazer is almost and just needs some adjustments but i haven't started on the pants yet#i also have the snout patterned and the goggles are partially patterned#but theres something else i need to figure out for this cosplay before i can finish patterning them (wink ;3)#uhh i dont have a tag for this cosplay yet... ill do that when i have fabric#edit i dont have fabric yet but i am way too mentally committed to stop this#flint cosplay stuff
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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