#someone brought this to my attention again recently and I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

[tragicotps]

Have you read The Secret Commonwealth yet? (x)

[pellucid-constellations]

If It All Fell (5)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Angst, PINING, references to nonconsensual situations (very brief, nothing graphic, and not Az)

a/n: Hope this clears some stuff up ;) More to come and especially more Az to come. Thank you forever for reading and sharing your thoughts! This is getting me through the semester <3

Part 1 ♡ Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ✶ Part 4☼ Part 6 ♡

Series Masterlist

~~

Azriel walked you to your room. 

He knew exactly where to go, which corners to turn and which to pass, which was very convenient as you still found yourself struggling with the task. The House of Wind, as everyone so lovingly called it, was practically a maze for someone with no memory of its twists and turns. But Azriel had absolutely no trouble getting you to your room. 

Once you got to your room, however, he appeared to have many troubles. 

“You can come in,” you prompted, looking over your shoulder to find the shadowsinger with his shoes at the threshold. “I promise I just cleaned it. Or, at least I’m pretty sure I cleaned it. It’s hard to know where to put things when I only just started…” 

Your voice trailed off. Upon further inspection of the man standing just outside your door, you found that he didn’t simply look hesitant to enter. He had his hands pressed to the doorframe, his head slightly leaned into the room, and his eyes were slowly trailing along your belongings. The expression on his face read as forlorn, but his body read as tense. 

He had been here before, obviously. Of course this would be hard for him. You probably had everything in the wrong place and he had just told you about the difficult time he was having—how close the two of you had been before you lost everything. 

“Um,” you began, pressing your lips together tightly when his gaze flickered to you. “Maybe you could… or would you mind maybe telling me where my bags are? If you know. Mor gave me a surface-level tour, but she didn’t seem to know everything.” 

Azriel looked down to the ground beneath your feet. He blinked back up to meet your eyes. “Of course,” he replied, with so much practiced restraint in his tone you weren’t sure how he gritted out the words. 

When he stepped in the room, it felt as if something shifted. He walked between tables and furniture and he fit like a puzzle, his wings never brushing anything, his eyes never casting down to analyze his body in the space. He looked like he belonged—he looked like he completed the space. 

Something finally felt right. 

Nothing felt right… but this did. 

Azriel pushed open the closet doors, rifling through a cabinet you had only glanced at before. After a few silent moments, he walked out with bags in hand. His shadows hadn’t followed him. They drifted towards the bed instead, burrowing into the blankets and pillows until the plush surface became dark. 

Azriel zeroed in on them as he placed the bags by your feet, staring off at his shadows as you brought your attention back to him. This close, you were able to catch his scent—the cedar and night-kissed air you’d recognized many times in recent days. But it had been so faint before, like he had been gone for weeks and the scent still lingered, or he had been in the room but only for a brief time. Nothing like now, with his chest only inches from your face. 

“They seem to like my bed,” you laughed, just a small, breathy sound. An attempt to diffuse some of the untouched tension in the room. 

The side of Azriel’s mouth curled up. You watched it rise, silently relishing in the heat of his body as it radiated into the space between you. “I can see that.” 

He wasn’t a man of very many words—that’s something Mor had thankfully shared with you—but you wanted to fight against that. You wanted to hear the soft, low rumble of his voice. You wanted his laugh to spark in the air, to feel his words against your skin as you had just a few moments earlier. Azriel told you he didn’t hate you, that he was close to you, and suddenly the space between you felt impossible. 

You just wanted to hear his voice. 

“Have I changed things much?” you asked, heart thudding when he brought his gaze down to you. “I don’t know how much time you used to spend in here… or currently spend in here, I suppose—it’s only been a few days—but I’ve moved a few things. If you could tell.” 

Azriel took in a long breath. “Actually, you—” he shook his head with an expression you could only decipher as baffled “—you put everything back. Cassian and Feyre, they moved a few things around when you were being brought home. Things that might have… well, we just didn’t want you to be overwhelmed.” 

Overwhelmed. 

“We should have known that was a ridiculous idea. You’re too brilliant, even without the context.” 

Warmth flooded you; one compliment from Azriel and it was as if nothing mattered. You didn’t need your memories, you only needed this.

Azriel’s cheeks colored as if he felt the rush of emotions himself, his eyes bright. 

No, that wasn’t right—you needed your memories. You needed to remember each and every time he had looked like this. 

“Probably didn’t help that there were a bunch of empty spaces everywhere. If you leave nails on the wall it becomes quite obvious that something belongs there,” you quipped, a small smirk playing at your features. 

Azriel laughed. Not a full laugh, but one that you had no idea you were missing before. “I will be sure to pass on the message.” 

“Good. Cassian has many messages coming from me, it seems. Conflicting ones as well.” 

“Right, of course. I will convey to him that you missed his presence earlier, but also that he is awful at hiding things from an amnesiac.” 

“Perfect, thank you, Azriel.” 

He gazed upon you, eyes flickering to every corner of your face. 

They rested on your lips and then your eyes, trailing up until his hand followed to move the strand of hair that had wisped across your forehead. He brushed it away with delicate fingers, not a touch of hesitancy in them. Like it was natural for him, normal. 

And maybe it was. 

“I don’t know what to pack,” you whispered, trying to keep some of the lightness in the room. “Can you help? I haven’t a clue where most of my things are and you appear to be much more knowledgeable.” 

Azriel drew his hand back, his eyes closing for a few long moments. 

You wished you could delve into his mind the way Rhysand could—that you could understand some of the pain written in the tight clench of his eyelids. 

“Of course I’ll help you.” 

It began with him gathering things from the connected washroom. He entered the tiled room and opened drawers without fault or mistake, collecting perfumes you had been gravitating towards and zipping up products you hadn’t even found yet. He packed your brushes and jewelry as if he’d done this all before, as if your request for help wasn’t really a request, but an expectation. 

“Have we traveled together before?” you found yourself asking as you followed behind the shadowsinger, a bag hanging from his arm. 

Azriel smiled, turning to you with a glint in his eye. “A few times.” 

You were very close friends, then. 

Azriel led you back to the closet where he pulled a few articles of clothing from the hangers, holding each out for you to approve before he neatly folded them. You denied nothing, rather surprised by his taste and sense for whatever the weather was like in Day. 

He moved further into the closet, half of which was sparsely filled. Maybe you filtered out your clothes with the seasons. 

Or maybe something was missing. 

Azriel paused.

You watched his scarred fingers brush over the purple dress you had worn on the first day you spoke to him after waking up. He rubbed the material against the pad of his thumb once, and then twice, before closing the closet doors and taking an abrupt step back. You stepped with him. 

The shadowsinger said nothing.

“All done?” you asked. “Anything else I would need at Day?” 

His shoulders rose and fell. Some of his shadows returned to make revolutions around his body.

“Azriel?” 

“I—I’m sorry. Give me a moment.”

The shadowsinger stalked over to the bed, went to sit, but then seemed to think against it and began pacing instead. You tucked your fingers into your palm as you watched him, trying to hide the discomfort you felt as his clear unease. 

Had you done something wrong? 

Maybe you were being too familiar. This friendship between you was new and comfortable and exciting, but that was for you. 

For Azriel, there was a gap, an immense amount of pain and missing connection. 

He didn’t hate you, and that was… wonderful news, but this was also uncharted territory. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have asked for his help—shouldn’t have invited him in. 

“Azriel, I—” 

“I need to explain this to you,” Azriel began, running a hand through disheveled locks. “I need you to understand why this is so hard. I don’t want you to assume this is your fault or that this is anything other than what it is.”

You nodded, but he didn’t look up to see your confirmation. 

Azriel sighed and his wings flared slightly, returning back to his body in a quivering motion. 

“I am terrified, y/n.” 

This time, Azriel did look up to catch your gaze. 

“I am terrified because this has happened before. It’s like I’m reliving it. Like you’re reliving it but you just don’t remember.” 

Your fists unfurled as your brows met a point. “No one’s told me—“ 

“I know,” he breathed out, defeat the most prominent emotion on his beautiful face. “Last time this happened, the more we told you about the past—about certain aspects of your life—the more it hurt you, y/n. You’d… you’d scream until your lungs gave out every time we tried to share something new. It was like that for weeks.” 

The Illyrian forfeited his internal battle with the bed, dropping down into a seat on the foot of it. Unsure of your place within your own room, you simply followed him, standing in front of his bent knees, eyes prompting him to continue. 

He watched you as you moved. 

“Has anyone told you what you do for this court? Your job?” 

You shook your head. 

Azriel continued. “You work as an emissary between courts and continents, but that’s more of a cover—a more comprehensible title for those outside of our circle. It’s hard to explain, but that power Rhys mentioned? It’s—it’s as if you have this intuition. For everything. You look at things, at people, and you just… know them. You look past lies and you pick up on things that are seemingly impossible to catch.” 

Your head shook as Azriel fumbled over each of his words, confusion swirling in your gut. “That doesn't make any sense. Mor said that Rhys found me working at some boatyard by the Sidra. She said I used to help build vessels—there’s no way I have a power like that.” 

“You do,” Azriel affirmed. “Rhys only went to find you because he heard of a girl building boats from memory. You took one look at him and knew what he wanted. Rhys said he barely had to offer you the job.” 

It was a struggle not to grind your teeth together in frustration. 

You used to know everything. 

And now you knew nothing. 

Your head began to hurt, or maybe you were just noticing that it had never stopped hurting.

“You said—” you started, tone heavy with vexation. Your eyes couldn’t find a solid place to land “—you said this has happened before. What does that have to do with these powers?” 

Sensing the rise in your mood, Azriel seemed to even his own out. A balance between the two of you. You became agitated, he became calm. But you could tell he was struggling.

“Around 270 years ago, after you’d been working for the court for a few decades, Rhys sent you to Day. It was routine. You were going to gather information for a High Lord’s summit meant to take place there, but really, Rhys wanted you to scope out the area. To get insight on any plans, any secret dealings. You were meant to be gone for a few days at the most.” 

Azriel’s fists clenched atop his knees. His face remained impassive.

“You were gone for six months. Gone. No one could reach you, Helion had assumed you went home already. It was right after you and I… became friends, so I was worried for you. More than the others, but no one was without worry. We found you eventually, but you—”

Something choked. Azriel choked. His head hung down and you replayed the last few of his words in your mind—the way they tightened and then tapered off. 

This was too much. 

Conveying comfort in the only way you knew how—in the way this family tended to love—you stepped between Azriel’s legs and brought a hand to his cheek, raising his face until his glassy eyes came into view. 

“You don’t have to talk about this,” you whispered. “If it’s too hard, we can stop.” 

Azriel’s jaw quivered. His next words seemed to tumble from his mouth without warning. 

“Fuck, I miss you.” 

It was simple instinct that led to your reply. “I’m right here.” 

Something stirred within you, tugging lightly. Your heart, you deduced, beating so fast it was playing tricks on you. The shadowsinger in your hands twisted slightly, just barely so that the corner of his mouth touched your palm. Your heart tugged again.

“You didn’t remember anything, like now,” Azriel revealed, speaking just as you were about to pull away. You stopped yourself, feeling as if your touch was an encouragement to speak. “It was worse though, you were in so much pain. Any time you tried to remember anything, or even just tried to learn, it was like you were being pierced through the skull. You—you screamed so much.

“But it didn’t take us very long to figure it out. My spies in Day found the culprit and it was easy to capture him. He was weak. Strong powers, but weak in every other sense of the word. It was another Daemati—like Rhys. He became infatuated with you during your time in Day. He knocked you out, found a way to use your powers against you, to make them hurt.” 

Azriel shuddered. His mouth got closer to your hand like he was leaning into it. 

“It took a few weeks to get him to fix it. But those months, y/n—the time you were gone. You don’t remember them. I can only imagine what you went through. And when we brought you home you hurt so badly. So that's why… why us going back there is hard. Because this is all so similar and if it’s happening again I can’t…” 

“Azriel,” you softly called, sure that this was the most amount of speaking the shadowsinger had done in a while. Sure that he needed a break. A respite. “It’s not the same, is it? You know that. My head hurts, but not like that. I don’t struggle to be reminded of the past. I learn new things. There is no evil villain waiting to take me away.” 

“Y/n—” 

“It’s not the same. I might not have access to these all-encompassing powers you speak of, but I can tell you that much. I’m sorry for what you went through before—that you had to watch a member of your family go through that then and then now… but it’s different. It’s different and I’ll be okay.” 

His pond water eyes stared back at you as you attempted a reassuring smile. You felt his knees press against your thighs where you stood between them, and the pressure spurred you on. You ran your thumb along the high point of his cheek, relishing in the flutter of his lashes, gravitating towards him to relish in that closeness as well. This moment felt like yours, and something was telling you it was yours. That no one else could have this with him. 

But you didn’t have your powers, your fae abilities, so maybe that feeling was nothing but hope.

Your thudding heart lulled you into a long breath. 

“Maybe, if it would put you at ease, you could stay with me while we’re in Day? At my side, I mean. You could whisper everyone’s names into my ear so I don’t look like a fool and make sure I don’t get lost—” 

“Yes,” Azriel replied, sure and resolute with no traces of the impending tears that had made his hazel eyes a pretty pool just moments before. “I won’t leave your side once. I promise.” 

His devotion made you pause, surprise evident in the rapid blinking of your eyes. You wanted to protest, to tell him he didn’t need to promise something so taxing, but determination had set in his brow, and Azriel—your friend—wanted this. Needed this. 

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Thank you, Azriel. For telling me all of this even though it was hard. For being here for me even though I know that’s hard, too. You’re a wonderful friend. I can’t wait to continue to find that out. I promise to be just as wonderful.” 

“You are already the most wonderful thing in my life.” 

Part 6 ♡

[ageofnations]

Wings of Midas

Teaser

guardian angel!josh au

Word Count: 574

A/N: while you wait for the actual chapters to be posted, i thought i’d go ahead and give a taste of what’s to come (without spoiling too much of the plot for you all)! i hope you’re as excited as i am <3

PLEASE READ: for this teaser, i’ve tagged everyone who wanted to be tagged in josh fics, but from now on, i will be using the Wings of Midas Taglist for this series. if you’d like to join this taglist, please fill out the form linked here. thank you!!! <3

*a special thank you to all who have let me bounce my ideas off of them during the planning and writing process. i couldn’t have done this without you*

Dreams.

With the number of theorists and scientists that devote their studies to such a universal phenomenon, there is still much unknown. What are they for? What do they do?

It seems as if the best answer is “It depends.” But for you, they seemed to have a very specific function.

To bring you to him.

You had always felt safe in your dreams, as it was extremely rare that you had nightmares. And on the occasions that you did wake up from a disturbing dream, the fear was always short-lived. You’d always feel as if someone was right beside you, a calming sensation that caressed your skin and comforted your worries. It was never long before you fell right back asleep and forgot about the nightmare before morning.

In fact, you seemed to have recurring dreams fairly often, or dreams that would take place in the same setting, at least. You had never done too much research on ‘lucid dreaming,’ but if you were to guess, this would be fairly close to it.

The dreams would always occur outside. The location always unknown, but its setting becoming more and more familiar.

One may describe it as a paradise of sorts. Never too hot or cold, its beautiful green grass always soft and lush, the air forever fresh and fragrant with the flowers that speckled the fields.

There was a pond in the distance. You hadn’t attempted to make the journey to it yet, so its waters were still uncharted. But even from a distance, you could tell it was clear, as if you could see right through it.

The tree is where you spent most of your time. Its trunk was thick with years of growth, the limbs stretching up to the heavens and creating the perfect spot of shade. Its stature seemed ideal to lean against while basking in the exceptional weather. There was even a small hole at its base that always drew your attention. To you, the hole resembled something of an altar — an area that awaited an offering of sorts, something to be sacrificed for an eternal gift.

And him. It seemed as if he had always been present in these dreams, though his whereabouts were undisclosed. Until recently.

You’d either catch him at a distance - his body nothing but a figure far, far away from you - or while he was in motion, already disappearing from your line of sight by the time you noticed him. He seemed to be watching over you in some way, though you never understood why he wouldn’t allow you to come near him.

It felt as if he was much too far to do any true protecting, if it ever came down to that. But he stayed, and even if you couldn’t see him, you’d feel him. His presence almost palpable.

Although distant, you were always drawn to him, aching to gaze upon him and be seen by him. It was an unfamiliar sense of longing, one much stronger than anything you had ever experienced. A feeling that left you disoriented each time you’d wake.

You’d be separated from him, torn away from the security that he brought to you. Every time you opened your eyes from a night’s rest, you’d be alone again. Isolated from his comfort, his presence. He seemed to exist everywhere in your dreams, but in your real life, he was nowhere to be found.

That was, until recently.

fin.

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[jeongsoo-jin]

“my sweet baby ”

Dom! Lee Minho x FEM!virgin! reader

Genre: smut, fluff, slight angst at the beginning

Warnings: loss of virginity, oral (fem. Receiving), piv penetration, pet names (baby, jagiya, sweetheart, princess) , Changbin's a slight asshole (please let me know if i forgot anything)

Male version here

Word count: 1.6k

You and Minho were hanging out with three Racha and Hyunjin in their dorm, as you often do on your days off. Changbin was talking about his most recent “lay”, and you were just sitting there, dumbfounded, as you had no clue what he was talking about; you and Minho had been dating for quite some time, but you were never ready to do ‘it’ yet, and he was okay with that, knowing that the concept of sex could be somewhat intimidating for someone who is celibate. As you were sitting on the sofa next to Minho, with his arm around you, you felt yourself slowly sink into the cushiony seat beneath you; and Minho noticed this, so he traced circles on your arm, in attempt to soothe you. And it did help- for a while, until Changbin turned the conversation to you and Minho, that is.

“So what about your guy’s sex life? Bet it's really kinky, right” He said, smirking.

At that, you buried your head in Minho’s chest; hiding out of embarrassment. He cradled the back of your head in his hand, and glared menacingly at his dongsaeng.

“What we do is none of your business,” Minho said, and with that, he stood up and guided you to the parking lot, where he drove the both of you back to your apartment. It was a very silent ride until he broke the silence.

“I’m sorry for that, jagi,” he said.

“It’s okay” you replied “I just wish I knew what he was talking about so I could join into those types of conversations…”

He didn’t reply, instead just turned his attention back to driving; making you wonder if you had said something wrong. The rest of the ride was filled with an uncomfortable silence. When you finally arrived at your apartment after what felt like ages, the both of you made your way to the door, and it was only once you two were inside that Minho broke the silence for the second time that night. Stepping closer to you, he held your face in his hands before he spoke; “It's okay that you don’t know everything, but if you are ready, I would be more than willing to teach you”

“I want to know, but I’m scared that I’ll mess something up, or it’ll hurt…”

“It's normal to be scared, darling, and we can go slow if you want to” you nodded your head, and he continued speaking “let's go to your bedroom, okay” he took your hand and led you to your bedroom where he sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled you to straddle his lap. He began kissing you, and soon the two of you found the right rhythm. You guys were like that for quite a while until you started subconsciously grinding on him.

“feel good, baby?” Minho asked, causing you to bury your head in his neck.

“aww, is my princess getting shy?” he asked in a slightly condescending tone “it's okay darling” he continued as he felt up your waist, watching your face turn to a blush colour.

“'m gonna flip you over now, okay?” you just nodded your head as he gently changed your position so he was looking down at you. He slowly brought his hand to your face and lifted it to his to kiss you again. After a few moments of making sure you were okay in this position, he slowly slid his hands to the hem of your shirt, pulling away to ask you if it was okay that he removed it.

“Can I take this off, jagi?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you replied shyly. Once the article of clothing was removed, he brought his lips back up to your face; but instead of kissing your lips, he started kissing the outline of your jaw, and down your neck until he reached your chest, where he took your bra off and began groping at your breasts, before kissing down your stomach. Spreading your thighs, he hooked his thumbs under the hem of your pants before looking up at your face to see if there was any hesitation; when he noticed that there was none, he pulled your pants down and continued kissing down your body. When he reached the place you needed him most, he avoided it; instead deciding to mark your inner thighs in hickeys.

“m-min” you muttered, while bucking your hips towards his face subconsciously.

“ patience, jagi. I want to kiss every inch of your body before i fuck you” he replied softly, although his lustful gaze was anything but soft. After a few moments, he began rubbing your clit through your underwear, causing your hips to jolt upwards.

“feel good, princess?” he asked, but you couldn't answer; too caught up in the electrical feeling in your stomach. Just as you started to feel really good, he pulled his hand away.

“why'd you do that?” you asked. He didn't answer, instead, just smirked and took your underwear off.

“Baby, I want you to take a deep breath real quick, okay? This may feel funny for a second” you nodded, and listened to him as he slipped his finger into you, making you moan.

“doing such a good job baby, I promise it'll feel better in a moment, okay?” he said while looking up into your eyes; kissing your inner thigh, reassuringly. A few seconds go by, him moving his finger inside of you before he breaks the silence once again.

“I'm gonna put another finger in, okay, jagi?”

“m'kay” you reply before he actually does. And as soon as he does, he starts curling his fingers into your walls, and finds a spot that feels really good; you body tensing due to the pleasure.

“feel good, sweetheart? Did I find the spot that makes you feel good?” he asks, and all you can do is babble, since he hasn't stopped moving his hand inside of you. He leans his head down to your clit and begins to suckle at it lightly.

“m-min… I feel funny…” you say

“It's okay, sweetheart, it's a good thing, just let it happen” he says, before bringing his mouth right back down to where it was, continuing the same motions he was, trying to bring you to your first orgasm; and after maybe two more minutes or so, that's exactly what happens. Your hands searching for something to grab onto, when they find Minho's, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckles soothingly as you reach the peak of your orgasm.

It takes you a second to come back to your senses, thighs shaking; but when you do, Minho has moved away from between your thighs, as he is now sitting by your head, petting your hair. When you look up at him, he gives you a small smile before pecking your lips.

“you did such a good job baby” he praises “are you ready for more?”

“There's more?” you ask, and Minho just giggles a little before confirming that, yes, there is more.

“we don't have to do any more right now if you don't want to, we can just cuddle, if that sounds better? There's always more time for this type of stuff, okay?” he says, not trying to overwhelm you, or make you feel like you have to do something if you don't want to.

“no, I wanna do it” you reply and he just looks at you fondly before going over to his bedside table, pulling out a silver package and a bottle, which you can't read the name on. You were curious, but waited to see what he was going to do with it, knowing that he would never do anything to hurt you. He stands up off of the bed, taking his shirt off before taking his pants and boxers off in one try. When he saw you watching him, he just smirked before returning to the items on the bed. He took the package, and ripped it open, taking a condom out, and sliding it on his dick. He then took the bottle, and squirted the clear contents onto his hand, rubbing it over himself.

He settled himself back between your legs before looking back up at you.

“This may sting a bit at first, okay, but I promise I'll go slow so it doesn't hurt too bad.” he said before lining his tip up with your hole, slowly pushing in. After a minute, he bottomed out, and kissed you, trying to distract you from the uncomfortable feeling between your legs.

“I'm gonna start moving now, okay?” he said, after feeling your body relax. He kept his promise, rocking his hips into you at a slow pace. Watching your face contort in pleasure, he slowly began to pick up the pace, not too much though.

“feels good, Minnie” you babble, too consumed by pleasure to make a coherent sentence.

“It does, jagi?” he asked, sorta condescending, enjoying seeing you a mess below him. All you could do was nod, not fully comprehending what he said. After a few more thrusts of his hips, you start feeling that same pressure in your stomach from before, and Minho noticed; with the way your thighs started shaking, and you were wriggling against him, bucking your hips into his own, matching his thrusts.

“are you close, baby? Come for me” he said, and as if his confirmation was all you were waiting for, the pressure in your stomach finally snapped, as you came all over him. Your walls clamping around his dick made him release into the condom. He rested his body weight on top of you for a moment, catching his breath, before sliding out of you and discarding the condom into the trash. He got up and went to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth to clean you up with. When he came back, he saw you laying in bed asleep, so he gently washed you up before sliding next to you, and pulled the covers over the both of you.

“good night, my sweet baby” he whispered, kissing your head before falling asleep alongside you

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@whatudowhennooneseesyou

I'm so sorry this took so damn long, life is a bitch and I haven't had time to do anything 😭

[outsiders-owen]

So sorry pastry voice. i didn't mean to steal the questions from everyone. i simply got excited. i understand if your upset however.

besides that, im glad i could leave a memorable impression on you Owen! i do talk a lot. but hey! I've got a lot to say!

must be because im a writer.

enough with the attention seeking exposition. I've got more questions! this time i'll spread them out though. don't want to overwhelm you more than i already have. im honestly surprised you manged to answer all of them. maybe demons have better hearing or something.

Ok so!

Apo, how did you feel when you received Owens letter? were you ever going to write a response?

What would it be about?....begging for forgiveness? more lies? an apology? or perhaps addressing that you didn't feel sorry. the fact your so ambiguous about it makes me really invested.

and Owen. are you sure you're fit to be all....power bearing right now? i mean obviously you're supposed to be Superior. but as much as i hate to admit it, you're not acting...healthy. you keep like....glitching out. in cretin responses. i've tried ignoring it but maybe you should talk to Gracie or Soup about it.

also on a similar note. sorry this might be mean but.

Owen. Why did you bring Apo to talk to us if all your going to do is cover and try to speak for him. its like you don't want him here. its like you don't want us to defend him. its like you....well....you'll see.

or maybe you wont. with the way things are looking now more voices seem to want you to....fix things.

I can't say im one of them. im only here for the story, and stories need conflicts.

oh my! i've said quite a lot haven't i? of course i still have more to say. i always do but! ill save it for another time. and watch as you two squabble over these messages.

One last thing however, Apo. you're in good hands. Owens is the strongest member of the clearing after all. No one can hurt you now.

-Salt voice :D

(PLEASE IGNORE THAT I FORGOT TO HIT ANON ON THE MOST RECENT LAST VOICE MESSAGE.)

Oh, it's Salt Voice! Back for more, I see.

Oh my gosh, this is such a long- you've said so much- um- it's cool that you're a writer! What do you write about??

Wait... you're asking about Owen's letter.

I thought-

Let me answer their questions, yeah?

...Okay.

I was going to write a response to Owen's letter. I was going to tell him pretty much how I feel about the whole situation- that I'm sorry for lying to him and I hate how it destroyed our friendship, but that I would pull the lever again because someone was going to do it at some point, right? And better me to live with the guilt than any of the people that I care about.

I was going to apologize and ask Owen if we could keep up correspondence, and eventually, I was gonna convince him to get me out of that- that cell. Guess I didn't have to do that, though.

...Guess not. Um, Salt Voice, I'm- I'm perfectly healthy, I'm not- I'm fine! I keep telling you, it's f ff f finnneee eee e

That doesn't sound fine.

Apo, shut up! I can't- ugh. Glitching out? I don't- talk to Soup, I can talk to Soup, I trust Soup- does she deserve that? Does anyone deserve my trust?

Owen?

Is any of this worth it? I didn't- I brought Apo to talk to you guys s̸̡͎̣͔̙͇̖͔̋͑̅͌̍̇ơ̵̪̌͂͊̏̉̈́͊ ̴̧̢̘̹͚̼͖͌̔͂͌ỹ̵̯̬̮͉̫̇̔̅̈̓̌̅̃̐ȏ̵̢̞̰̬͐͌û̵̯͙̟̖̆͂̏ͅ ̶͖̬̹̩̘̠͚̝͎̈́̄w̶̨̨͉̥̲͔̲̱͚̺̻̘̲̱͚͆͐̐͗̕͠o̷̢̩̞̰͉̭͇̩̜͍̟̖̰͍̾̈͌͂ǘ̴̢̧͕̫̰͕͕̪̹̣̘̾̌̽̽̈́̈͝͝l̴͔͖̳͕͒͌̇̚͝d̸̛̮̻̗̗̰͂̀͗̅͌̎̃̏̊͝͠ͅn̷̛̯̳̫̟͕̯͉̽̚̕͜͝'̷̟̬͈̖̤̮̩̪͚̳͑͑̏̆̄̀̊̀͐̃̅̀̐̕ẗ̴̠͓͉͔̬̺̣̗̗̲̞̽ ̷̳͖̯̎̽̽̑̔͌͒͒͝͝͝ĺ̷̢̢̢̢̡̛̛̼͕̜̭̯̦̜͎͕͖͛̌̽͗́͒̋̈̎͑̅̉ĕ̷̡̳̺̖̱̪͕̭̥̥͖̳̈́̍̏̊́̑̽a̴͉̗͕͕͇̙̙̖̞̯͛̃v̶̛̯̪͈̞̯̑̓̓͋͛͐̅́̕̕ę̸̥̘̮͉̞̤̻͓̻̭͇̱̭̏̇̆̄͌͑̈̒̇̅̓̐̄̀͝ͅ ̷̨̡̛̘̯͎̦̈́̈́́͌̊͌̓̓̓̐͝m̷͖͉̔̄͆́͒̍e̵̡̳̗̲̠͎̞̯͍̋̔̒͂̈́̈̔̀̒̿̏̿̚̚͜, so you wouldn't get bored and abandon me and= I don't- I want him here- I think I do at least- I don't- I can't-

My brain's so jumbled up, everything's so jostled around, there's a voice that's not like you Voices, it's different, i̷̗͌̊̎́̓́̀̂͘͜͝͠͝ẗ̶̛͎͙͚̥̬͊̿̊̄̎͛̅̕͘ ̵͈̰̪̬̼̪̭̈́̽͑̈̐̋̉͗͗̚͘͜ͅs̸͇̩̜̞͙͕͉͉̬̠̪͎̝̯͛̇̂̎̈́̐̕̕ò̶̭͓̼̀̋̇̈̿̆̐̚͘u̸̧̫̻̬̮͙͖̞͒͗͛̽ǹ̵̢̡͇̹̝̟̀͠d̶̨̧̘̭̱͎̼͖͔̞̤̜̦̑͊͋͝s̵̛̮̩̈́̐̓̈͂̃̓̎̒͊̂̕͝��̧͇̖ͅ ̷̧̞̳̜̬͔̖̖̘̩̗̩̯́͛̈́̀̎̀͋͋̈̔̏̇̑͘͜͝l̷̡̡̖̫̗̳̥̫̟̯͚̽ͅī̷͔̈́̔͗́͌k̵̳̮̣̟͇̱̺͍̪̬̖̳̞͗͛͊͆̿͜ȩ̴̧̹͎͚̯̬̱̱͍̣̜͓̹͒̈́ͅ ̵͙̲̖̮̘͚̟̰͈͇̻͍̦͐̃̅̉͌̀̈́͆̂̕͜͝͝m̸̦̖̬̦̂̈́̐̉͑̀̓͂͘ê̴͚͙̻͚̯͙͇͜

And I keep remembering stuff but then it's gone, it's gone in a flash and I don't know if that's good or bad because I always feel like throwing up after I remember. I don't- I can't-

Owen?

S̸̡̢̨̨̛̱̩͔̳͕͈͈̰̦͕̘̞̰͉̼̀͛̽̄̍̆́̏̄̓͆̒̅̎̊͒̑̎̔̑̕̕̕͠H̸̢̨͇͔̮͎͇̲̝̬͕̗̙̠̘̺̺̻̟̘̬̀̈́͌̀́̔̿͛̅͋̂̑̄̒̓͐̒̚͝͠Ų̶̝͇̪̪̘̭̳͛͐͑̽̈̚̚T̶̡̛̲͚̣͙̉̇̾̐͑̈́̌̀͒̈́̅̽̌̕͝ ̵̡̧̗̬̱͖̥͍̙̲̎̈̾̔̀̂͜Ų̸̧̩̯̙͇̘̥̙̥̤̣̻̝̟̪̞͇̊͋̋̃̀̓͗̋̉̓̆̈́̄̔̄̍̈̉̊̕͜ͅͅP̸̛̦͚͎̪̯͙͇̬̙̥̺̟̗̝̣̉̔̔͗̀̄̿̀̏͆̂̈͐͊̉̾́́͐̽͘͘̕͝͝ͅ

S-sorry-

No, no no nonononono- it's not you, it's not you, I can't- I can't- I can't do anything, it's all messed up, my head hurts-

Owen- okay, just let me- let me help you? You're yelling, man. People are going to come check on you and then I'm going to be found. Please quiet down a bit

Į̷̡̧̘͈͕̼͉̬͕̪̺̲̻̻̣̃̽̽̾̆̓̃͂̂̎̅̀̔̑̑́̚ ̵̡̤̲̥͈̖̾̂͐̂̌̍͋̽͂̓͛͆́̄̄͂́̌́̒͒͑͘̕͝͠͝C̶̡̡̲̳̮̬̦͇̣̹̞͈͓̱̳͉͈͒͆̈͐̾̆͜A̶̼̻̲̙̗̗̤̜͖̒̂̒͊̃̃̐̒̅̎̀N̷̨̛̞̦̳̩̰̬̩̥͇̠͔̦̗̪̙̳͇̘̺͐͂̒͊̂̈̿̂̂̀̈́͋̈̊͘͘̚͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅ"̵̗͚̯̼̯͇͖̬̫̲͕̞́̀̈́̔̀̄́͐̊́̽̌̂̚͝ͅͅŢ̵̨̨̛̻͓͕̻͈̦̲̘͈̬̳͉͎͕͖̰̤̌̀͊͐̉͂́͌͑̉̄͌̔̏̑̐́̋͛͌̊̈́͜͠

Owen, please.

i̶̢̜͕̮̩̯̿͐́̾̔̃͜͠ͅ ̴̡̲͈̱̤͕͕̟̗̪͈̜̭̭̦̰̱̱̼̳̓̈́̋͐̒͌͝c̶̢̯̲̝̩̱͈͈͒̾̽̂͋̾̍̒͋̀͗͋̆̆͜͝a̶̡̡̢̧̱̳̼̣̪͎͙̦̝̓̈́͂̍́͂̂̏́̈́͘n̴̛̛͚͖̰͙̂̒̍̉̐̏̿̔̈̈́̆̈́͝͠͝ţ̸̡̛͙̻̲̲͖̟̞̣̮͇͉̅̅́̓̏̃̎͜͝-̶͍̟̰̹̭̞͊̌̆͋͋̈́͊́̉̚̕͝ͅ

Owen, you're scaring me.

...

Are you okay now?

Yeah- shoot, I'm- I'm sorry, Apo- I...

You wanna go get some rest? We can talk about this in the morning?

I- okay. Sounds good.

I'll go back to my hole then?

You can just pull up a bed if you want. If you're not afraid of getting caught. I don't mind.

Yeah- yeah, sure, alright.

Okay.

Goodnight, Owen!

I missed you so much.

Didn't quite catch that, sorry...?

...It doesn't matter.

[mais-nerdy-corner]

❝𝕷𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕬𝖌𝖊𝖘❞

Synopsis: Liyue has changed immensely since the last time we saw it. Lanterns has been replaced by LED lights, traditional style building replaced with skyscraper and contemporary architecture, and dirt paths now covered by asphalt and concrete roads. As the changes in Liyue happened so fast and couldn't be reversed, how would the Adepti feel and handle it if they lived till this day?

Pairing: Various x Reader

Genre: Angst with little bit of fluff (?)

Note: Please excuse my terrible execution on this idea compared to the amazing masterpiece that somehow inspired this piece!

Oh god, how old Zhongli is probably now? The last time we saw him he was over 6000, maybe now he is...

Anyways, throughout the years he has gone through many names and forms but eventually settled back to Zhongli.

Works as a history teacher at a college/school, and his students are either bored to death with his lectures or completely fascinated with his vast knowledge regarding Liyue's history. Istg to the students who ignored his lectures, cut this man some slack bruv, he lived all this time just to be able to tell you Liyue's complete history and you're not even paying attention?!

Okay, author's done malding now (not really)

Okay but how does he feels about the changes that has happened to Liyue?

Well, he knew that these changes are inevitable and Liyue couldn't stay the same way forever. It's just that...

He is saddened upon the fact that nobody seems to have any respect to the Adepti anymore (maybe except for historians or old people). Kids nowadays doesn't seem to feel obligated to respect the Adepti just because they're just legends.

The time of the Adepti may have ended a long time ago, but he still hopes that someone will remember their service.

Ganyu has been a long time secretary of the Liyue Qixing and the people around her advised her to retire and just enjoy her life, but she insisted to keep on working "for the sake of Liyue's future" she said.

For sure, Ganyu has the most experience being in the Liyue Qixing so she trained most of her newer co-workers. Some of her younger and most recent co-workers doesn't believe that she's actually a half-adeptus. They think that her horns are just some weird cosplay horns that Liyue Qixing somehow allowed her to wear around. Poor Ganyu :(

Ganyu may seem to do well in life, but there is one thing that she misses dearly. Singing Liyue ballads to wild Glaze Lilies. They are now almost impossible to find, some even say that they are extinct. The only kind she can find is the ones that are "genetically engineered". People nowadays would always say do this to conserve this, do this conserve that, but how could they let such a beautiful and extremely ancient flower go extinct just like that?

Sometimes, Ganyu hopes that people would keep their promises and live up to their words.

Bonus: Cloud Retainer may come out of her abode on Mt. Aocang and take on a human form to see what Liyue has become for herself. As she observed Ganyu from afar, she noticed this group of kids who seem to simp over her every time she comes home from work. Intrigued by their actions, she decided to approach them and started telling stories about Ganyu's childhood. Even though they find her way of speech very unusual, they are still happy to listen to what she has to say.

On one occasion, they collectively decided to approach her and tell her about the things Cloud Retainer has told them. "Hey, Miss Ganyu? There was this lady by the name of... was it Cloud Retainer or something...? I don't know, but she once told us about how you managed to choke a giant monster to death just by doing something. I forgot, but it sounded so awesome! Can you tell us a--"

Ganyu was visibly flustered when the little kid brought it up and told them not to ever talk about it again.

Xiao has protected Liyue for centuries and many people have said that his services are no longer needed, but he insisted on doing it to honor his contract with Rex Lapis even after his supposed death. But time has changed, there are no more enemies that need to be killed in this day and age. Hilichurls, Geovishaps, even Abyss Mages, they all have vanished. Now, his Primordial Jade Winged-Spear is nothing but a relic to his struggles.

Museums has opened up showcasing the remnants of the mobs that once roamed Teyvat. Some believed that they once existed, some believe they never existed in the first place (basically the same case with us and dinosaurs). Little do they know, an Adeptus who once fought them daily is standing among them in the crowd, silently ridiculing their opinion.

Jueyun Karst has become a nature reserve and national park, and only a few people are allowed to enter at a time, considered it is once the realm of the adepti of Liyue, or so they thought. The adepti notably Moon Carver, Cloud Retainer, and Mountain Shaper still live here till this day. Except when guests arrive, sometimes they will come out of their abodes and watch from a distance.

Xiao may say that the changes happening to Liyue means nothing to him. But something that always lingers in his head is how he has gotten so far in life. Since there is no longer a need to protect Liyue from monsters anymore, Xiao began to question his purpose in life. But after meeting and getting assurance from Zhongli, now he can enjoy his life and rediscover his childlike wonder, his innocence that got taken away too early in life.

Yanfei is probably the Adeptus who can adapts the most to Liyue's change, maybe because she's the youngest out of the bunch. The best legal advisor you can get in Liyue as she's aware of every change that has happened and her excellent memorization of the law.

Till this day, her least favorite case to deal with are civil suits. She has a reasonable right to dislike these kind of case because as time goes on, cases like this gets more and more difficult.

Sometimes, Yanfei wonders why would someone go to extreme lengths and fake a case in hopes of gaining something from it? What was their ulterior motive to do such things? These questions is something that she'll never understand.

[Author's Note]: I wrote Yanfei's part in a rush since I don't have much to say, my phone is running out of battery, I need to sleep soon and law stuff is not my thing, bear with me :')

Publication date: June 24th 2022

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 28

Chapter 28: “Concealment, Part 1”

Safe to say that without Ray’s photographic memory the outcome to this entire story would be completely different. He even mentions that one wouldn’t normally be able to notice anything strange about the house. The farm’s secrets go under Norman’s radar at least, and he’s supposedly the smartest kid the plantations ever seen. Unless you make an attempt to escape like Isabella did, the truth of the house is more than well protected. With the exception of Ray.

A recent ask brought to my attention how very likely it was Sarah who handed Ray over to Isabella, and considering the Grandma’s have access to information on which kids the moms & sisters give birth to, I gotta agree and say that it was such a bitch move on her part. Like she knew she blatantly handed Isabella her own son to raise as demon food and that’s just so evil. The only silver lining is that this choice, coupled with Ray’s infantile amnesia, eventually leads to her getting killed. Serves you right, you old hag. I can sympathize with most of the moms & sisters in this story, but definitely not Sarah.

Ah, when was it that I mentioned the three different takes on the Ray/Isabella deal flashback? Ch14 when Ray was telling Norman I think? Well, turns out I forgot it’s mentioned again in this chapter, so.. oops, make it four occasions that we see this deal happening. This flashback brings together the other three quite well I think. How Ray calmly offers the deal is reminiscent to ch14, Isabella’s brief shock is a tease to how we see her react in ch37 and the cuts on Ray’s ear is a nod to ch181.5 when we eventually learn how he broke his tracker with a stick.

If you listen closely, you can hear me start to sob.

The way Ray essentially created a taser from various old technology and toys on the sly over the course of six years will never not be impressive to me. I wish we got to see this tech-savvy side of him more. Such a shame it never gets used for its intended purpose though.

Look at them, both lying with those huge smiles on their faces. Isabella certainly raised a handful of wonderful actors. Also, I just noticed this looking back at ep9, but the plates they have Sherry drop are plastic? which makes a little sense I suppose. If the house doesn’t have actual knives, then why have real plates that you could break like this and use to stab someone, ya know? Anyways, once again love the little detail of the kid’s reactions between who knows the truth and those who don’t.

Hmmm, I dunno whether I prefer Isabella’s malicious and all-knowing glare in the manga or her calm, fake smile in the anime. Both are dangerous.

It’s adorable that Phil placed one of his trains on Emma’s empty seat.

Favorite panel/moment:

The way Dominic drags a devastated Sherry back into the panel so she can say goodbye to Norman.

[yuusaris]

FeyFic Sequel Dump Doc - A Deadly Sort Of Sympathy [NSFW]

[Mental manipulation, worn-down-by-time brainwashing, unhealthy/toxic relationships, sexytimes]

Not back, just getting this out of my eyeballs. Very messy, very all-over-the-place. Was gunna be multi-chaptered and have plot, malik was gunna be there as a well-meaning ex that Bakura gets roped into his stupid shit, but I never got passed the intro stuff and frankly, I have other things to focus on. May return to this, but it's no longer my problem.

Lots of jumping around. Will try to clear up those jumps.

FORGOT TO TAG AS DUMP DOC. THIS IS A DUMP. NOT A FULL THING, I AM SO SORRY, I DID NOT SPECIFY. THIS IS DISCONTINUED WHILE IN PRODUCTION.

The most recent thing he remembers, if he really tries, is leaving home with Him. 

Those sharp nails rested against his wrist, guiding him through a door he didn’t recognize to somewhere he didn’t know. Only knew that He would be there. And that he would follow. 

He remembers hearing knocking, which was ridiculous because it was no one's home. He heard hinges creak and a slam which made no sense as the doorway was open already, he was halfway through it.

And just when he stepped through and left for good - he thinks he remembers hearing someone say his name.

-----

He enters the room with yawns and stretches. There is no need to wait for breakfast because they who serve Him have already brought it out. He eats simply - mostly bread and fruits, sometimes cheese. It’s the other plate, his plate, that’s graced with a full breakfast.

“Good morning, ‘Kura.”

He says this every morning and hasn't once forgotten to. He pets him gently every time, and before ‘Kura can complain about the treatment, He kisses him softly on the temple. And everything filters out but a twisted bliss at the attention, and the knowledge that this is all very, very wrong.

-----

He can’t forget the first bath he’d had here. The experience bled into weeks of scratching and howling and bleeding. 

“I don’t understand - your skin has layers too, doesn’t it?” He’d murmured while examining Bakura’s red, swollen skin. He pulled - ripped  - at what looked like a splinter but came out like a barb, as if it dug itself into his muscle, under the skin itself and latched itself to the underside. Bakura howled, tore himself away, swearing and yelling over a yelp and a flurry of ‘sorry, sorry, I’m sorry!’. Clutching his arm, feeling the blood between his fingers and the pain, the itch of all the others underneath. When he rubs or scratches it hurts. 

[Big Gap, never wrote connective tissue]

“I found out how to fix this!” He’d said triumphantly. “I did more reading about human sanitary practices and went out and got this!” With that, he’s handed a small box, and the fiendish Fey before him smiles. “It’s called ‘soap’.”

-----

 [timeskip and gap]

“You were perfectly content being fed and cuddled and played with,” He says. “You didn’t - you still haven’t even asked my name.”

Bakura stares from the bed.

Then He tells him. 

“It’s Ryou.”

------

His name is not ‘Kura. Ryou just calls him that - sometimes he’ll use the ‘Ba’ first, mostly when he - Ba-kura, making Bakura - is in trouble.

[Very large gap]

“I hadn’t eaten because of you,” Bakura growls hoarsely. When He looks away, shoulders hunching in shame, he finds a nugget of satisfaction. 

“I said I was sorry,” He murmurs. 

“Sorry?” Bakura scoffs. “That’s it? You’re sorry?”

“And it won’t happen again.”

“Oh, ya pinky-promise?”

His head tilts. “Pinky?”

[Another gap - told you I barely connected this]

Bakura wakes up to a platter of food. He must be delusional - it looks and smells like it’s actually cooked.

“You like your meat rare, right?” asks a familiar voice - He sits beside him and smiles. “I, ah, didn’t bother to do it myself this time… it was from that place we went to.” 

He just prettied it up with the platter and silverware. Whatever implication that has is tossed to the wayside in favor of eating.

It’s cooked, seasoned, and warm. Bakura could cry.

“But I also got- um,” Ryou’s fingers press together, sheepishly. “I got a book for cooking. So I can get better at it.”

Bakura slows down. He still chews, of course, but he’s trying to focus on Ryou now.

“You know, when I left you that day to come home and get your room ready, I’d - I’d felt so confident about this whole thing. I read all the books, and I got the enrichment and equipment and pet-safe furniture… but the second I couldn’t get back I was practically shedding with worry. I - hadn’t even considered what would happen if you would ever be away from me for too long.” He stops, taking a lingering look at Diabound. “And then,” a slow, fond smile crosses his face. “And then I remembered how much you knew about Diabound’s needs and I thought - ‘did ‘Kura know what to do when he was in this position’?”

“...” Bakura turns back to his food. “Snakes can go without food for up to two months - but they need water much more frequently.”

“And you were working on a time limit to get out of there,” Ryou’s voice is fond - too fond. “That’s why you did what you did.”

Bakura’s quiet.

“You’d do anything to make sure she was safe and happy and… and it took me until you were in pain to even recognize you couldn’t even clean yourself.” His hands fist in his lap. “...I’m… I’m so sorry for how I’ve been,” Ryou says softly. “I’ve been trying to make a home for you, but… knowing about Humans doesn’t mean I know enough about the differences between us.”

[Large Gap]

“But I’m a damn adult with a damn lease and a damn job to feed my damn snake,” Bakura snaps. “I did all of that on my own, and I’ll do it all a-damn-gain on my own once I’m out of your needy fffucking grip!”

He looks at him, wide eyed, mouth dropped into a small oval. Those eyes, infinite and bottomless, search him. Well, they can search all they like for whatever they like. There’s nothing pathetic about him.

“All on your own?” Ryou says, His voice slow, tinged with the soft timbre of pity as if Bakura ever needed that. “Was no one else there?” 

Bakura snarls at the hand coming to his cheek, “I”m an adult-,” but when it rests, his words stay locked behind his teeth, his breath held prisoner in his lungs. 

“Adults hunt in packs,” Ryou says. “They work and play and rear children together. What monsters let their cub suffer like that?”

Bakura doesn’t falter, won’t fall for this creatures’ act. It needs to be an act, if only for Himself. There’s only so much ignorance you can exhibit before it’s simply malice.  “I don’t need your pity-” 

He stops. His brow unfurrows at the rightmost wet streak on Ryou’s face, jaw loosening as he watches this wretched Fey tear up. 

“Did you hear yourself?” He asks. “Why do you talk about living like it’s a prize?”

“It was,” he says, through firm teeth. Nevermind his shaky memories of where he’d lived, who he’d known - he knew he had found his own path, got his own money, dug himself upwards and forwards. He didn’t succumb to the various options to fail like those around him. He’s allowed to be proud of that. “I earned it.”

The hand slides back, light nails dancing slow against his skin, resting against the flat of his neck. His thumb brushes softly beneath his ear. 

“You were always entitled to a good life. You still are.” Bakura’s doomed, the other hand comes too, cradles the opposite side and drags him forward till their foreheads touch. “And I want to give you a life you can live.”

“I can’t-” He’s breathless, searching for something, anything. A thought to cling to, a reason to disagree. “I can’t…” He drowns in the color of the earth, the smell of its dust after rain wafts from His skin. 

“Tell me everything you need,” Ryou says softly, almost too softly. Almost like He loves him. 

Bakura drops the knife. Ryou doesn’t look, as though it was never important to begin with.

“I’m hungry,” The words fall out. “I need meat. And eggs and starch and-”

“Make a list,” Ryou interrupts him. “You’ll have everything you ask for.”

“I need to-” His tongue runs dry. “I can’t clean myself-”

“Well, that’s an easy fix,” Ryou chuckles, “everything in this home is mine - everything is touched by myself, at all times. And since everything you need must remind you of me--”

No, he doesn’t understand, Bakura grips him by the shoulders, drags Him in, he needs to understand. “I can’t bathe.”

“...Ah.” Ryou realizes. “You can’t….”

And that…

“Is that… related to something else? Poor thing.” Ryou pulls him closer. Bakura follows His lead without much choice - Ryou tilts his head for him without much resistance. “You can always ask.” 

It’s a soft kiss, one that tastes like pomegranates and the smell of harvest. His hands move back across his jaw and cheek; a thumb grazes the bottom of his bottom lip. Bakura feels all of it, his focus divided between ten fingers, each individual fingertip drawing a unique path along his neck, down his chest, and he’s compelled - there no other word for it - to bring Him closer, kiss Him deeper, slip his own tongue across His lip and hear him gasp and sigh like a nymph.

“I had fun last time,” Ryou speaks softly, but not quiet. Hypnotic, it beckons him to trail his mouth down Ryou’s neck. “Did you?” Bakura nods. “You asked me then to be my only pet - do you remember?”

Bakura mumbles an excuse against His warm collarbone, “that was playful banter.”

“There was some truth to it,” Ryou’s hands slip into his hair. Soft strokes and little massages with his fingertips lull him closer, coax his hands to find His skin. “You said ‘if you treat them all like’ -” He’s cut off by His own little moan, muffled by tightly-pursed lips - He’s enjoying this, Bakura can feel that fact against his thigh. “I haven’t filled my end of that bargain.” 

The hand in his hair tightens. 

Bakura’s head is pulled back again, examined under His eye. “Do you want me to?” Bakura tries to nod - can’t, with the hand in his hair. Ryou ignores any silent pleas, His eyes boring into Bakura’s. “Say it.”

“Yes.” It falls from him, pulled by sheer presence. He feels weak. His hair is pulled again and his spine shakes.

“Did you like that?”

“Mm-hm.” No answer, no change - will He truly only accept words? “Yes?”

“Good pet.” A hum. A kiss to his chin. “You have a nasty habit of hiding what you mean - it makes things difficult sometimes.”

[For Sale. Large Gap. never connected.]

I want you to tell me what you need,” Ryou says. “Clearly. Without me needing to guess or push you.” When Bakura shakes his head, he’s taken firmly by Ryou’s hand and forced to stop - he’s surprised at the strength in Ryou’s grip. “Don’t disagree with me on this. You need to learn to ask me for what you need, I can only give you what you ask for. Stop making me force your hand.” Then, quieter, into his ear, “not everything you deserve needs to be won.”

There’s an ache in his chest - the spot where his heart would be, if he had one - alongside the ache in his dick, a swollen need from torment that can only be pleasure. Bakura growls at it, at the implications it brings.

“You’re just as strong when you ask for me,” Ryou smiles against his ear. “I think you’re stronger when you can be honest.”

Despite himself, Bakura’s breath turns ragged.

“And you’re very attractive when you want this badly,” His voice is thick, playful, “very sexy.”

And he tries, he really tries, not to lose himself in the tongue running along his ear, the long rubbing up and down his chest to sternum to belly and up and down and up again. But he can hear the cusp on which his wantonness stands. He’s sure Ryou can too.

“And if you told me, right now, that you want me to have control--”

And he does want it, wants it more and more He talks and offers, mouth dropping open when His palm presses down on his cock, once, then moves to the side to rub circles into his thigh.

“--I think it’d be cruel to call that weak. I think it’s brave.” He says with a kiss.

[Last Gap, I swear.]

The one thing He wouldn’t do is degrade. Bakura couldn’t explain the difference for various reasons.

“It just sounds like a nasty form of teasing.” And Bakura nods, frantically - yes, it’s teasing, yes it’s nasty, yes he wants- “I don’t want to talk to you like that,” Ryou said. “I want you to enjoy being good for me.” 

Bakura grits his teeth, against the derision at his wants and the cock sliding over, not in, his ass. Over and over, truly teased, no relief.

“I like that you couldn’t wait,” Ryou says again. His cock twitches and he grunts as His hand picks up again. “You’ve been so lonely, haven’t you?” He nods, rocking into His hand. All this from months untouched - he might go mad. “Tell me what you want,” Ryou speaks slowly. “Tell me what you want me to do for you.”

Confessions and fantasies spill from his mouth like drool, and he’s granted them in turn - cock gripped too tightly to cum, ass up and rutting against His hips for relief. More than he ever has from insult or shame, he cums from His praise for Bakura’s debauched and slutty -- no, from his eager, willing pleasure, words of worship for opening his chest, laying himself bare, showing everything and giving it all away.

“Good boy, ‘Kura,” Ryou purrs against his temple. With a kiss, ‘Kura’s consumed again by that ache, and instead of bracing himself against that salacious venom, he lets it spread across his nerves and limbs all the way to his head. “Good pet.” 

-----

Ryou hums while he reads. His fingers card through ‘Kura’s hair. Each gentle tug pulls it loose from behind his ear, or across the part, spilling the strands across His lap.

About the third time it falls out of place, ‘Kura grumbles, irritated at the feelings of ‘unright’ left in it’s place. Ryou chuckles softly, watching ‘Kura shake his hair back into place.

“Sorry,” Ryou smiles. “It’s just so soft now.”

‘Kura groans.

-----

His name is ‘Kura. Sometimes there’s a ‘Ba’ first, but only when he gets in trouble.

He doesn’t get in trouble.

[pigeonworks]

Spellbound (We Are Entranced)

A Max Mayfield Character Study Throughout Season 4

Getting up in the morning was hard. It'd been that way for almost a year now. Max would wake up and wish she hadn't. She'd like to sleep forever. It was peaceful there; you know, if you don't count the nightmares.

Yet, her alarm clock still drew her out of bed. Every. Single. Morning.

Dressing in a dirty shirt she'd worn twice this week and a jacket on top, Max headed down the hallway into the living room. At least, that's the best word for it. A shitty trailer is more accurate.

Beer bottles littered the space, but she didn't pick them up. Not this morning; Max didn't have the energy.

Grabbing two Tylenol, she placed them in her mouth before swallowing them down with some water from the sink.

Her mother was nowhere in sight, and when Max checked the bedroom, she found it empty. Lord knows where she was at seven in the morning.

She was probably drunk. She'd been that way recently. Ever since Neil left, that is.

Grabbing her red bookbag, Max made her way out the door. She wasn't hungry enough for breakfast. She was never hungry.

Max watched as Eddie Munson sped away in his van, rock music blaring. Too bad she couldn't drive. Instead, Max had to take the bus. At least she had her Walkman and Kate Bush to keep her sane.

Hopping off the crowded bus, Max rolled her eyes as someone called her name. She didn't want to have a conversation this early in the morning.

"Max! Max!" Taking off her headphones and turning around, she realized the voice was of Ms. Kelly. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I forgot it was Thursday," Max mumbled.

"Well, I'd like to see you today. Come straight after lunch, okay?"

Nodding, Max walked away, placing her headphones back on her ears.

The assembly was... painful. Not only cringey (specifically Jason's speech) but also very... personal.

Entering the gym, Max wandered toward Mike and Dustin. She instantly huffed as she overheard Dustin and Mike arguing about who has a better girlfriend. Of course they were.

"Look, I'm not saying that my girlfriend is better than yours." Yes, you are, Max thought. "It's just that Suzie's, like, a certified genius."

"You do realize El has saved the world twice, right?" Mike countered.

"And yet you still have a C in Spanish."

The music stopped, and over the microphone, someone screamed, "Let's hear it for our Tigers!"

The crowd cheered, but all Max could pay attention to was Lucas. He stared directly at her as he ran into the middle of the court, and she glanced away. It hurt too much to look at him, even when he waved at her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Max saw him frown.

She hated it.

If Max was going to be honest, she totally zoned out. That was until Billy was brought up.

"Think of Jack. Think of Melissa. Think of Heather. Think of Billy ."

He did not just bring up Billy. Max caught Lucas's sympathetic eyes, and she turned away from his gaze. She couldn't do this.

Max decided to zone off once again. She needed to ignore everything. Before she got hurt again. She paid attention when Dustin and Mike somehow didn't know how a tournament works. How do they not know this basic information? They really are nerds.

After lunch, Max made her way to Ms. Kelly. In the hallway, she caught a glimpse of none other than head cheerleader Chrissy Cuningham heading out of her office. That's... weird. Why was she there? Not only that, but she looked... uncomfortable, upset.

Sitting in a chair across her desk, Max listened to her Walkman. It was the last thing keeping her grounded. Music did that for her.

Ms. Kelly's muffled voice came from outside the music. "Can you remove your headphones, please?"

Taking them off her head and clicking the button, Max responded with, "Sorry."

"A 'C in English and a 'C- in Spanish," she said, clearing her throat.

"Yeah."

"Well that's not normal for you," Ms. Kelly said sadly.

"If you say so...."

"How's your mom holding up?"

Max stared at the floor. "She's fine...." She paused. "I mean, she hates the new place, which is, like, yeah, it's terrible, but... she's fine."

Max wanted anything but to be here. She'd instead be forced to go to Hellfire than have to talk about her emotions. Nevertheless, here she was. She was sharing her feelings and talking about her family life. God, she would give anything in the world to leave.

"Is she still drinking?"

Max swallowed hard. "Like, yeah, a little, but... Well, she's working two jobs. So it's not easy."

"Must not be easy for you either with your stepdad gone."

"It's kind of better, honestly."

"Better how?"

"He was an asshole. So there's less... assholery."

"Are you sleeping better?" the woman asked gently.

"Yeah, fine," she lied.

"So no more headaches?"

Max shook her head.

"Nightmares?"

Max flashed back to the one she had last night; Billy being impaled by the mindflayer, its tentacle deep inside his chest. She remembered her screams as she called his name.

"Nope."

Ms. Kelly looked at the floor. She knew. She knew Max was lying.

"Max. What you've been through, what you're still going through, it's a lot for anyone," she said as Max fumbled with her headphone cord. "And it's okay to not be okay. But I can only help you if you're truthful, if you open up to me."

"Yeah, I... I know. I'm- I'm being open."

Ms. Kelly sighed.

"I'm being open," Max repeated, though her face said otherwise. Jesus, why did she have to be such a bad liar?

She was so relieved when Ms. Kelly finally excused her.

Exiting the office, Max didn't even notice Lucas until he called her name.

"Max, hey."

Goddamnit. She wasn't in the mood to try and hold a conversation with him. "Are you stalking me or something?"

"Oh, no, I- I just wanted to give you this." He handed Max a piece of paper.

"What is this?"

"A ticket to the game."

Max turned her head towards him and rolled her eyes. Then, marching away, she became frustrated as he followed.

"Listen, I know you never want to go to my games, but this one is kind of a big deal," Lucas continued.

"A big deal?" Max scoffed. "Lucas, you really care about this?" she questioned, still walking.

"Yeah- I- I do. Maybe you should find something you care about too."

Max paused. What did he just say? She stopped, spun around, and glared.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Max saw his face turn to ' oh shit' and paused.

"You're just... It's- it's like you're not even here anymore," Lucas responded hesitantly. He looked so nervous. God, all she did was make things worse for other people. "It's... it's like you're a ghost or something."

Looking away, Max felt a wave of guilt and anger wash over her. "A ghost? Really?"

"Max, I know something's wrong," he said.

"...Yeah, right... Yeah, something must be wrong with me because I broke up with you."

Lucas shook his head. "No. That... that's not what I meant."

Max had heard enough. "Lucas, look, people just change, okay? That's it. I've changed. It's that simple." She was so annoyed. So sick of him trying to fix her or something.

Before she entered the bathroom door, Max handed Lucas the ticket back. "Good luck."

She didn't wait to see Lucas's face. As Max hurried in, she quickly pulled out her bottle of Tylenol. She desperately needed them—needed something to calm her.

Max popped down two of them. Suddenly she heard the awful sound of vomit from a stall behind her. Turning around, Max saw a cheerleader's skirt.

"Hey, are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah- yes... I'm... I'm fine." Chrissy? Chrissy Cunningham?

"Okay, um... you're sure?"

"Please, just go away." The girl sounded awful. Still, there wasn't anything Max could do for the cheerleader. She wasn't about to snitch on her.

Sighing, Max left the dull restroom, hoping Chrissy was okay.

Max was so glad to leave school. So relieved it was Spring Break.

Earlier that day, Dustin had tried to convince her to play D'n'D with him. Hell no.

As Max climbed onto the bus, she clicked on her Walkman, and Running Up That Hill blasted through it. She found it almost therapeutic—an escape.

It blocked out the obnoxious teens who screamed and yelled in the back, which always seemed to leave her deaf.

Her mom still wasn't back once Max entered her trailer, giving her more time to herself.

Walking into her room, she plopped onto the bed and sighed. Everything seemed so bleak. The single window in Max's room offered little sunlight, leaving her in darkness. It was fitting, though. It's kind of what her world felt like at the moment. cold. Empty.

How was she going to make it through this year? Max didn't think she would. Surely something would prevent her at some point. Things weren't looking up for her. They never were.

If Max could take some more pills, she would. But she'd overdosed at school once. Max couldn't walk in a straight line, and her words slurred together. She wasn't sure how she managed not to pass out that day. No one found out about it. Thank god.

Max must've stayed on her bed for hours because the next thing she knew, it was night. Checking her clock, she realized it was eight. Lucas should be done playing his basketball game right now.

Max really didn't want to, but it felt wrong not to listen to the radio and hear the outcome. So she sat up and tuned in. Instantly, she listened to the announcer.

" After a tragic year for our town, the Tigers have brought home the conference title for the first time in twenty-two years. " Another man continued, saying, " And what a great game it was, Allen, ending with a dramatic buzzer-beater from benchwarmer Lucas Sinclair! "

Lucas?

Max couldn't listen to the rest. She wasn't about to listen to people talking about him. Turning it off, she sighed, hanging her head.

Outside, a dog started barking. The owners never fed it, so Max had decided to take on that responsibility.

"Alright, alright, I hear you."

Standing up, Max made her way out of her bedroom.

Her mom was passed out on the couch, and Max wondered when she'd arrived. How'd she not notice the sound of the front door opening? Not only that, but how didn't she hear the TV? Whatever.

Cleaning up the empty beer bottles and fetching some chicken, Max strode out the door to the dog.

A second later, Eddie's van sped into the trailer park and halted in front of his house.

He drives like he's being chased or something.

Suddenly, Max spotted none other than Chrissy Cunningham hop out the door and follow Eddie into his trailer.

It took Max a second to fully realize why she was with him, but it all made sense once she did. First, the vomiting went to Ms. Kelly, and now to his house. Chrissy was going through something, so she probably resorted to drugs.

The dog barked once more, so Max continued to feed it. Chrissy and Eddie were none of her business.

When Max finally ran out of chicken, she walked back into her trailer.

That's when something... weird happened.

The lights and TV started to go crazy, and even though she knew it was most likely a coincidence, she couldn't help but wonder... No, it couldn't be. Max didn't want to believe it.

Max heard a scream. Eddie's scream. Sprinting towards the window, she saw him slam open the front door and book it into his van.

She knew he always sped, but this was different. He looked terrified. His driving was more erratic than it usually was too.

Deep down, Max knew something was wrong. She just knew it. Still, it was none of her business. After all, she tended to overthink stuff.

As she slept, nightmares plagued her mind. It'd been nonstop for the past few days. Not only that, but these were different than the usual ones she'd been gifted with after Billy died. These were so realistic, downright terrifying.

Max knew something was wrong.

[pikawarrior]

👀 hi mutual in law tell me about your rats

I see you have fallen into my trap dear mutual in law, welcome. You cant escape now. My thoughts are a mess so the words are also a mess, good luck and have fun.

WELCOME TO THE ULTRAVERSE PEOPLES ITS TIME FOR

WATCHER (ENA) AND THEIR LOVENEMY SPOUSE DIMENSION (ELLIE)

Now as you can probably tell, I (re)named Watcher after the Watchers from Evo and the fandom. Their purpose here within the worlds is to watch and protect them if the chaos levels become to high and pose a threat to the to whole Ultraverse. (Kinda think the chaos control from Henry Stickmin) Since said Ultraverse is huge Watcher really only watches over section A but sometimes helps out with other parts.

They where tossed into the void at a young age, deemed to be a curse upon their family. But the void is kind, the void is merciful and offered Watcher their powers. They accepted and became a Watcher, quickly raising the ranks and being assigned to directly handle some cases solo.

[Basic Info]

Name: Watcher, formerly known as Ena

Pronouns: They/It

Job: Chaos Watcher (temp name cuz i cant name stuff)

Group(s): Watchers, Alliance of The Stars, File Not Found and "Envy's traumatized creations" (No one wants to be here)

Here's where Dimension comes in.

Dimension, consume by the darkness within them, they became a villain A threat to individual worlds and section A as a whole (plus the other parts but thats rare)

Outcasted from their own world, they seeked revenge and someone was there to offer some help. With that help, their world was destroyed and nothing was left but them.

But it came with a price, the lack of a world for them to go back to caused them to glitch. And without any help they glitched into the anti-void.

Doomed to the faith brought on by this space, they fought back. They fought against the powers trying to destory them.

And they won.

They took control over what was being done to them. They took over and controlled the powers that threatened to take over and destory them.

But darkness thosee powers held, took over them in their battle. And it lend them even further down the dark path they now take.

[Basic Info]

Name: Dimension, formerly known as Ellie

Pronouns: They/It/She

Job: Freelancer for the "dark side"

Group(s): "Envy's traumatized creations" (they dont wanna be there, send help)

Now you may be asking?

"How did these two get together?"

Well, Dimension has made a name for themself within the Ultraverse even outside of section A. And in doing so has caught the attention of the watchers, enough to have a bounty on their head (8,000,000 gold (or whatever currency the one capturing them uses) and quickly raising)

And since Watcher is in such a high position, with very little failed missions, they got personally assigned to Dimension.

Words words, look its been hell recently and my brain is scrambled. I'll give more details later buuuutttt

Watcher disappears for 2 years (still sends in their normal paperwork somehow) and comes back to work like

"Hello there, apologizes for my absence but I have recently gotten married and adopted a child. I promise I will give a notice before doing something of that regard again. You will find that all my work for this week has been completed so I shall be going, I'm taking my child out for ice cream. Goodbye."

I'm still working on them and their worlds so things are very much subject to change down the line

Edit: FUCK I FORGOT THE PICS OF MY RATS (affectionate) HERES TWO UNEDITED PICS OF THEM

Dont let the weird cropping confused you, Dimension is the short on here

[house-of-slayterr]

Flaysthings and I have been talking about this recently and I wanted to share it with you since I thought you'd like it.. sorry if you don't (っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ

Flare headcanoned that y/n has once a kid/student and had a relationship like tai lung and shifu (from Kung Fu panda). So the student goes rouge like tai lung did in the movie, and while y/n was stronger than him, she couldn't do it mentally so she didn't. Victor had to do it (which resulted with him getting a few broken ribs ouch). They "put him down", and neither wanted to go through the same thing again. Which is why y/n was very wary of Maggie and probs Basil at first, and Victor wanted to kill Maggie cause he didn't want y/n to go through the same heartbreak again (we love Victor that actually cares).

I asked permission from Flare to share this to you :)

Tag: @keffirinne @flaysthings

Anon I must say, it has been ages since I thought about Kung Fu Panda. Not gonna lie, I had to look up the plot again because I forget who half of the characters were. So that was fun!

I must say, I love the angst. I forgot how dark children's movies could get away with being. I adore the idea of Y/N being a mom, but as she is @howl-fantasies Character and not mine, I'm not sure it's my call to make this canon or not. But if I am allowed to, I think it could be interesting if it was her blood child. I think it would have happened when she was a teenager. I imagine it wasn't something she was proud of, she probably ran away from home and gave birth to the child by herself in a dark alley somewhere. She probably contemplated just leaving the thing behind a trash can to either die or be discovered by someone else.

But I think when she looked at its eyes, she'd break. She's not as heartless as she likes to make people believe. I headcanon that Y/N wasn't actually born and raised in Gotham. I think when she gave birth, she never looked back, leaving her home completely out of fear of being disowned. She'd rather remove herself than go through the pain of someone making that choice for her. This is why nobody knows of her family in Gotham, it's just her. She somehow stumbled upon Gotham and made it her home with her child.

She built herself up from the ground up. Similar to Selena Kyle, she stole things like food and watches to get stuff for her and her child. That's where her morality started slipping. She quickly realised it was killed or be killed, and dying wasn't an option. She moved up from petty crime to more organised endeavours. Quickly gaining the interest of Carmine Falcone. His heart ached for the young mother, and he took her in. Y/N may have convinced herself she works better alone, but she does her best when she has "family" at her side, to fight for, and to fight with her.

Carmine watched as both she and the child grew, and watched the kid grow more cold and distant. When the betrayal hit, both parties were shocked. The child was like a grandkid to him. Victor obviously grew his obsession with her at this time, as they were both under Carmine's thumb. Carmine knew it would break her heart, so he convinced Victor to kill the child before they brought everyone down with them. Victor did as he was told, not feeling nearly as attached to the child, kind of jealous that they were stealing Y/N's attention away from him.

Y/N hated him at first when she found out what he did. This would be the catalyst, the thing that closes off her heart. She still believes in respect and honour for her "family" but she doesn't let it show on the outside. If she lets anyone know she cares, she'll get hurt again. Her obsession with Victor grows in return. She understands without him she'd fall apart and the darkness would consume her. Despite his sadistic and twisted nature, he is light of heart. He doesn't feel things as deeply as she does, which is why she clings to him. She's desperate to be numb, and he's desperate to be loved by her.

I actually think Y/N met Basil first, despite me introducing him quote recently in the story, this would make the most sense. She met him on one of her trips out of Gotham, one of the rare times she drops her Facade. A few places know of the Great Y/N, Carmine Falcone's right-hand woman, but when she can go where somewhere she's not known, she jumps t the chance. There she just gets to be that carefree little girl she once was, there are no expectations. Get in, get out, don't get caught. That's the only objective.

I think Basil spots her, he has a habit of observing the humans. Like his older sister Kara, he's still a little unsure about earth customs. But he did not receive Kara's heart or naivety. Despite them, both seeing the same evils of the world, Kara remains optimistic, while Basil is a realist. He spots her permission, he can see the determination in her stride, yet can also she's hiding something. He approaches, gently however, he's not dumb enough to startle her.

That's when they form their alliance. He wants to get rid of the person she's been sent to kill. Basil believes in killing for the greater good, if someone is a bigger threat they must be eliminated. But he never acted on it before, out of fear of his sister discovering his darker side. Y/N is weary of him at first, but she sees something in him that she saw in younger victor. Since Vic holds a special place in her heart, she is intrigued. Basil makes the kill shot, and that's when she knows he has potential.

Y/N escapes to National City when she needs to think. To keep up appearances, she has met Kara, Alex and Lena. Obviously, she takes the most liking to Lena, and can't wait to see her fall to the dark side. She slowly plants the seed in her head upon each visit. She and Basil grow closer, unbeknownst to the Gothamites. even victor and Carmine don't know the real reason she loves National city so much. When Basil grows bored of playing nice and following his sister's rules, he decides he needs a change and moves to Gotham. This is where my story begins.

We all know the story of how Maggie and Y/N met, that;s what started this whole thing. Basil knows of Maggie, long before Maggie knows about him. Y/N talks about her often and asks for Bail's advice on certain things. Despite him being a little younger than Maggie, he is very wise. He observes her from afar, interesting in Y/N's new protege, and curious if she can be trusted. He knows of the whole Wendle situation, and Y/N told him about Maggie's dissociative episodes. Basil is cautious of this, not like he actively distrusts Maggie, but he's not even certain she can trust herself. She's not a reliable narrator.

Basil is very proactive in his methods of protecting Y/N, he'd do the same for her as he would for Kara and Alex. He actually meets Oliver and Company, before he ever meets Maggie in person. Victor and Y/n and even Jim Gordon, are all ok with not knowing much about Maggie's past. They care more about who she is now than who he might have been then. They have no explicit reason to distrust her or pry beyond the normal bounds. But Basil knows the past is what defines your present, you can't make change without a starting point.

That's why it takes him so long to get to Gotham. For nearly half a year, he "Grew close" to Oliver and his team. He studied them, looking for any key factors in Maggie's childhood. He's good at modelling his personality to fit the mission. He stayed closest to Thea, knowing she'd be easier to break. Oliver is too guarded to let things slip by accident. I even think Thea and Basil dated for a while. Which is not something he will willingly tell Maggie because she would lose her shit. Nobody touches her baby sister.

He discovered the secret to her past with Barton Mathis, The Dollmaker. He understands Maggie better than anyone else. But he won't share this information flat out with Y/N, not unless she asks, or it becomes relevant. With Maggie not fully understanding her own past, it could be triggering if anyone else knows. They could use this information against her. Every time she dissociates, she loses a part of herself or at least the version of her that exists now. She slowly becomes corrupted, turning back into the scared little girl who would do anything to survive.

That makes her dangerous. She's highly suggestible and open to hypnosis, which is why Basil warns Y/N to try to keep her as far away from Jervis Tetch as possible. Under Jervis's control, she could become volatile, and he would have the ability to make her shut off her emotions. Not only would this make her unpredictable, and liable to attack those she should care about, but she would also be unable to feel physical pain as well. Which would make her unstoppable, and willing to sacrifice her own health for the objective. Just like Molly became Magnolia under the Dollmaker's guidance, she could become Alice, under Jervis's.

Maggie's only redeeming grace in Gotham is her relationships with Jim, Harvey, Bruce and Alfred. Of course, Thea and Oliver are always in the back of her head, like the angels on her shoulders. But she would fall off the depend if these four didn't reel her back. They are the voices of reason. Maggie is constantly torn between who she should attempt to please. It would be so much easier to just stop trying and let everyone hate her. But she's far too stubborn for that. So she plays both fields, not necessarily lying to either side. She wants to do "Good" but she also would kill if the situation called for it. She'd sooner sacrifice herself for those she loved than ever let them get hurt.

I hope this gives a little more insight into the characters. I sometimes forget you guys can't see them how I do unless I write down every thought. So thank you for the idea Anon. I'm just so glad you all adore these characters as much sI do. it means so much to me that I could write something that somebody could create their own headcanons about <3

[trulyhopelessromantic]

I hate adulting

No one talks about money enough and so I'm very uninformed and naive when it comes to so many financial related things

Also my entire life I've sucked at looking over my paystubs especially when amounts remain consistent.

Today they informed us we got a slight raise which made me excited so I went to look how much only to discover a section on my paystub that I didn't really pay attention to before that says LIFE INS and I'm paying a little over 10 dollars a month for. FFF What is it? I've just emailed my HR but now I feel fucking stupid for paying now over $100 into this when I don't even know what kind of insurance it is or why I have it. FML

Furthermore I don't understand benefits very well, I wasn't told much about them or RRSPs so I had to play catch up recently about it and it's almost year end so I can't really do shit all with it now

High school really failed us. Unless your parents encourage you with banking how the hell are you supposed to understand that there is shit out there to help you manage your finances better? To me, you put money in you take money out, there's employment insurance that you pay into in case you ever need money coz you're let go without a job, you pay a little to pension which is money for retirement. But now I'm learning that there's a fuckton more you should be doing with your pay cheques and through your bank...

And the info I'm getting is that I should have been doing shit all along since starting working because starting now is a missed opportunity. Like a friend was basically saying you're screwed if you haven't been doing your own retirement insurances and investments and like WHAT THE FUCK are you serious? I'm going to be poor as a senior because no one ever told me these things existed and I wrongfully was informed that your pension payments were enough!?

As if I'm not fucking stressed enough just trying to get my job life straight so I can move out and hopefully eventually learn to drive and have a vehicle now I have all this other fucking shit to worry about

I just want to cry. I'm not at all good at being an adult and I'm turning 34 this year.

What do people who don't give a fuck and don't work get in life if I, a fairly hard working person who was just unaware of "investing your paycheque", is told I've already messed things up?!

Further as alluded to, benefits have actually never been explained to me in my entire career. The first time it was, I again was misinformed and by the time I got it settled on how to access my benefits I was let go from that job and no longer had them.

Then with this job I didn't get them until the new year so I forgot all about it until recently when someone brought it up.

I feel like we don't talk enough as adults about things we are doing, have access to, etc. and are expected to just know or ask questions if we don't know but like if I don't know what I don't know how do I get curious!?

Fuck.

[dariamalek]

The Art of Balance: Narcissism vs. Self Esteem

I don’t know everything. 

I’ve dabbled in eight types of psychology in the lifespan of this blog; trying to find the answers to all the questions. How do we effectively teach students with special needs? How does childhood neglect effect long term relationships? What is the correlation between physical and mental wellness? 

If you have been an avid reader of this blog for a while, those titles may be very familiar. There was a peak in 2019, however, where people were extremely interested in my essays about relationship psychology. My theory was that it was during the peak of COVID, and with the rise of dating apps, people were starting to forget what it was like to be in the conscious world. 

I had no problem writing about relationship psychology until June 2021, where my own relationship of almost 3 years, collapsed. I began to doubt myself; how am I going to sit here and give advice to everyone else when I didn’t know how to save my own relationship? 

And that’s when the spiral began. 

I began to doubt myself. I was tired; I had put so much time and effort into my relationship that I forgot who I was. I had lost touch with all my friends; all the people who brought out the best in me and shared my passions. And roughly eight months into being single, I sang a note. Ten months into being single, I had pulled up my old texts and put pen to paper. A year into being single, I took my aggression out on a drum kit. 

I began to fall in love with myself again. Deep and dangerously in love with myself. 

My self confidence was at a peak. I dyed my hair black. I changed up my style. I wore high heels everywhere. I didn’t leave the house without doing my hair. I wore eyeliner. I never looked at my feet when I walked. I disregarded the men who approached me. And when I walked into a room, instead of looking at everyone else in it, my eye caught a mirror instead. 

And that’s when it hit me. I was frozen in place; standing in the middle of a bar on Queen Street. This is wrong. I had forgotten what it was like to give love to someone else because I was too busy focusing on loving myself.

Just like that, I was introduced me to the biggest lesson I could learn in my life: balance. 

I had always thought I had balance in my life. I meditated twice a day, I exercised five days a week. I didn’t drink every weekend, but had my glass of wine once in a while. I didn’t eat fast food. i worked extremely hard during the week and had my fun on the weekends. I spent equal time with my family and friends. 

But that was the problem: it was all about me. 

We all go through healing phases where we focus on ourselves, however it’s important that we don’t lose sight of what it means to be considerate of others. 

I found, date after date, that I just wasn’t able to focus on anyone other than myself because I had been so focused on myself it had turned into a habit. I didn’t know how to do anything else. It was almost as if I was jealous of others getting attention from myself. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? 

You’d be surprised. 

Have you ever heard that myth about the man who fell so in love with his reflection, that he literally couldn’t take his eyes of it, and eventually died in the same spot all while staring at his reflection? This is a lovely phenomenon called Narcissism. And yes, his name was “Narcissus.” 

According to Scott Kaufman of the Scientific American, most recent research suggests that “narcissism differs significantly from self-esteem in its development, origins, consequences, and outcomes (Kaufman, 2017).” 

“The prototypical grandiose narcissist is characterized by arrogance, superiority, vanity, entitlement, exploitativeness, exhibitionism, and the incessant need for acclaim from others,” Kaufman explains. “Those scoring high on measures of self-esteem, however, tend to feel satisfied with themselves but do not necessarily see themselves as superior to others.“ 

I remember doing all those things, claiming they were for me, but not once did I feel satisfied. 

And that’s when I said screw it, and bought a last minute plane ticket, and went to Italy. The story of my trip is highly documented on this blog however, when I got back, it was the first time I had began to type out words that meant something to me. 

I had realized that when I was writing before, I was forcing myself. I didn’t actually want to write, I just wrote because I had missed doing it. I finally felt like the roadblock between me and my art was finally gone. But the truth was, that roadblock was me. And when I sat back and read through each paragraph, I felt butterflies in my stomach. Not pride, but satisfaction. I was back. 

And there are times, like today, where I question my ability to love again. For example, when I get writer’s block, I question my love for writing, even though writing is something that comes natural to me. 

But I always remember: just because something comes natural, doesn’t mean it should be constant. 

You may love someone from the bottom of your heart, but there will be times where they hurt your feelings and you’re not able to look at them. But that doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means that you need to find a reason to fall back in love with something.

The same goes for yourself. 

[officialjseph]

File 02 ⸻ Glitch to Stitch

A plot in response to this task.

ㅤ  Ever since Taehyung joined the advanced science-tech group, it had been no secret that their company was working on merging parallel worlds. To gain some knowledge and resources for a better living, they said. Though things had stirred some disagreement now and then, leading to unstoppable resignation of the employees.

ㅤ  Yet, there he was… still working on the project.

ㅤ  And in spite of their successful attempt to bridge communication between worlds, causes and effects couldn’t be avoided. Glitches in time and space was one of them. And it occurred way too often these days.

ㅤ  Just like that one slow Monday evening when he felt his body was getting stiff from sitting too long and staring too deep into the screen. To lessen the fatigue and refresh his mind, body and soul, he stretched out and decided to take a walk. And by that, he meant heading to the best destination of the office: the canteen.

ㅤ  As he stepped into the room, he could see some people were lounging around and having their fuel for their stomach. And so, he’d do the same. He went to the kitchen to brew some coffee and make some cup noodles. The idea of having warm ramen and coffee made his belly growl already.

��  Whilst waiting for his evening snack, he heard some of his workmates were talking about a recent glitch the duo Renji and Kenji talked about. He thought there wasn’t any glitch earlier, was there? He frowned and tried to recall, but he didn’t seem to experience one earlier that day. Was the glitch getting random or something? He wondered.

ㅤ  But his thought got disturbed by a ding of the microwave, an indication that his ramen was almost ready. Well, an addition of some cheese and he was ready to dig in. He went to add two slices and put it back into the microwave. He then checked on his coffee.

ㅤ  Just when he reached the coffee machine, his mug was nowhere to be found. Where is it? He thought, looking around. Did someone take his coffee? However, there was none that seemed like a suspect. Until a sight of his porcelain mug sitting next to his cell phone on the table at the corner caught his attention.

ㅤ  He tilted his head slightly. It was exactly his spot. But who was kind enough to bring it to his spot?

ㅤ  “Did you take my coffee there?” He asked when someone walked past him.

ㅤ  “No, why would I?” The person answered and left.

ㅤ  He scratched his head. Well, maybe he forgot that he’d already brought it. But he was certain that he hadn’t taken his mug with him. Was it a glitch? Likely. He shrugged the thoughts off when the microwave dinged once again. And that pulled a smile on his face.

ㅤ  He went to the counter to take his ramen out. But when he opened the lid, the cheese he just added just disappeared. How come? He questioned in disbelief. His spicy ramen looked too plain without the cheese. But where the hell did it go? Another glitch? He let out a deep sigh and took another cheese to add into his ramen.

ㅤ  For God’s sake, they needed to stitch this glitch.

[archenemyintellegence]

(21/1/2023)

Today is a very interesting day.

When I offered Loki his daily dose of chocolate, I found out I got the one with special packaging again. I did a google search last time this happened and I found out there's someone claiming that there may be one special package in each box. But I doubt that it's that common. Despite I was not a regular Melty Kiss consumer before I started offering Loki chocolate, I ate it for years and I have never seen one with special packaging in my whole life before this. I thought it's Loki giving me confirmation that he appreciate me buying him new boxes of chocolate, but later I realized it's deeper than that.

I often eat the chocolate after lunch but as I was in a hurry today, I forgot to eat it and take a photo to record this special chocolate. But there's no mistake. Everything is planned. Because then my sister told me something that really makes the day special.

Last week, when I did my prayer to Loki, I heard my late grandma speaking to me. She told me to take care of my sister, and also told me to remind them to pay special attention to potential car accident. It's not uncommon for me to hear things from spirits, but as it's happening too often, I often doubt the voices or thinking that it's all in my head. However, as I was praying to Loki that time, I paid special attention to the voices and believed that the message is legit. So I told my sister to be careful with car accident. But they seemed to not care about it so I was upset about it for some days.

After today's dinner, my sister brought up the topic again. They told me that they actually cared about my reminder, and they got so terrified that they avoided going out for days. After a few days, they went out with their girlfriend at night and the thing happened. When they were absolutely distracted due to the pain from a wound, a black van came out of no where and crossed the road with full speed while the green pedestrian sign is up. Fortunately, their girlfriend stopped them at the very last second or my sister probably gone lol.

After listening to their experience, I just remembered that at the day before yesterday, I heard Loki and my grandma told I no longer need to worry about my sister. But I had no idea of what happened to my sister until now? My sister heard this and told me that I should really consider starting a spiritual career instead of planning to work at the McDonald's lmao.

Also today I realized that I may actually be very good at manifesting. Yesterday my friend was talking about crystals with me and brought up ideas that I never heard of before, like telling me that crystal can be trained? However, we both have little ideas about crystals so we were not sure what's going on. Then, when I was walking to my grandpa's home to have dinner with him, I came across a second-hand book store today and guess what. I FOUND A THICK BOOK TALKING ABOUT ALL RANDOM TOPIC ABOUT CRYSTALS, INCLUDING HOW TO CHANNEL ENERGY INTO CRYSTAL AND TRAIN THEM? I told my friend about it and she told me that I must've attracted the book to my life. Now all I need is some actual money to buy some crystals lmao.

Besides the book, MY MUM BOUGHT ME A SNAKE NECKLACE? I was searching for a snake necklace recently because I wanted to buy some accessories with Loki vibe. But the necklaces I found in random boutiques were not my type so I just forgot about it. And now my mum just gifted me the perfect snake necklace. (Also she has a snake phobia so it's very surprising that she will buy me a snake necklace?) I will take a photo of the necklace in the future lol.

My power is just insane. Things just work. I really need to value my power more and clear the shitty thoughts out of my head, so I won't manifest some weird things into my life, since I am so fucking powerful now. Also I probably have to work on more spiritual stuff and learn more about it as I seems very talented in it? Thinking about this excites me and motivates me to improve myself. The glorious evolution shall continue and no one can stop me 😃👍🏻💯💯🦾🦾💙💙

Also here is a pic of the special chocolate! The special heart pattern is on the very right side of the package this time. And I swear I will improve the presentation of the print in the future. I plan to print him in a photo shop but the minimum order is like 10 photos so I have to gather more drawings to print. So he will stay like that for a while lol 🥴

[hana-uranai]

[2022.11.27] 天下一運動会 @ 246ライブハウスGABU

I suppose I will start writing about the concerts I go to again just for fun.

I've been to so many live houses at this point that I'm always a bit surprised when there's one I've never even heard of in the city. I mean, I'm sure there are tons and tons more, but I assume they're primarily for genres I don't go to anyway. STEP UP BOYS (ｶﾘ) didn't have it on their long long list of dates forever so I almost missed that they had one more Osaka live tbh. It was during a stream one day Oe was like telling someone from not Osaka to go then I appeared "MISHA YOU TOO IF YOU CAN.. PLEASE COME.." Like sure my bro i got u.

I've been VERY TIRED this month for reasons that pretty much all lead back to work so I won't get into it, but I wasn't even sure if I could muster up enough energy to go into front row for SUB. The fact that it's a 1hr trip (one way) is pretty draining in itself. Luckily music tends to reactivate my brain so I was a functioning adult when bands were playing. But the live was "運動会" so all the bands brought songs where people can move around a lot (two step, circle mosh, etc)

So I started off in the back for Free Aqua Butterfly. I think this is technically my third time seeing them?? I thought there were four members but there were only three? Or was someone just blocking my view of a member the whole time? I feel like last time the Saki didn't sing as much as she did this time?? I don't know, maybe I just wasn't paying attention. Anyway, FAB is fun, I don't mind when they play at events.

I honestly did not stay inside to watch びわ湖くん (what sort of fish was he supposed to be anyway lmao)

$"Casper. I've been seeing a lot again lately (because they play with SUB) and it feels so nice and comfortable since I've known them for so long, you know, and I mean they're really fun. But Kyohey suddenly isn't playing at any of the lives recently and I'm wondering what's going on. Casper really can't seem to keep members.. There were like only 2 people who were obviously fans of them there and front row had some spaces in so me and a friend were like "should...we.,....>?" and somehow I ended up in front row for Casper. Normally I just chill in the back but whatever. It was fun, I don't remember what songs they played besides Akuma. As soon as they were done though I wondered if I made a mistake because TIRED.. When that one song had a break down and guys were windmilling in the middle it made me miss going to metal lives a bit.

I didn't really stick around for live kids aruaru person's DJ set at that point and hung out in the bar area. Slingshot Million2 was OK. Didn't love them, didn't hate them.

After they finished I took my place in front row @ the center because I don't know how to not be extra I guess. Also, I think Oyuu would be sad if I wasn't there for him. I probably would have regretted hanging out in the back anyway. By the end though my arm felt like lead I could barely keep it up lmaooo They didn't do アルテマ even though it is THE two step song. But they started off with time show, they did pusherman, pumpkin napkin, and that new song Light My Fire. I feel like there was one more?? OH RIGHT Rep(ly) me again!!! Idk how to write リプ in romaji without it looking weird. Idk how that slipped my mind at first since it was probably the one I was most pumped for yesterday LMAO. At least there wasn't that song where we have to kick up right leg in time to the beat because I am not prepared for leg day also I have terrible balance and almost always fall over LMAO not that they haven't seen my fall on my ass before... but you know. Last time they did pumpkin iirc they had people pretend to be cats with the wall of death but this time they had everyone turn around and walk backwards to touch butts for the wall of death. edit re setlist: wow i forgot about Can&豪 too. I JUST LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCh and am forever mad that the physical cd is sold out. lmaoooooooooooo I had had a bad feeling from the _by_2024 part to their hashtag they'd added recently and then at Oe's bday live they announced that in 2 years if their oneman isn't a success Oe's going to stop playing on stage (and I guess act like a manager full time) which is just a depressing thought I hate when they bring it up and they're bringing it up every time am I going to have 2 years of hearing this at every MC 😭😭😭

After that I was hanging out at the bar and suddenly the was a big commotion and they were asking everyone to make space etc. From what I've put together this guy's blood sugar dropped and he passed out? Maybe? And hurt his leg. They dragged him out of the main room into the lobby to wait for the paramedics and I gotta say I love the concert scene with everyone looking out for each other. Another guy was so shitfaced drunk at the concert and they were looking out for him too.

VOI SQUARE CAT -- I mean I wouldn't mind seeing them again. They were fun? The singer has a really great voice. I just don't think there's anything at the moment that really made my brain go brrr and so I don't have any particular desire to check them out again after. But if they play again at a concert I go to, I'd watch it.

Then I was hanging out with R and she introduced me to two of her friends, one of which had come from Tokyo to see SUB. It's funny like She loves Oe, another loves Zuma, R loves Shoma, and here I am as an Oyuu fan. So we had everyone covered 😂 Though they talked about how certain members wont look them in the eye etc and i'm like "hm I've never thought that about any of them" but also sometimes I wish they wouldn't look at me? I just want to be a mess in front row in peace </3

Oe came over to talk to us then he started asking me like seriously, hand on my shoulder, "Misha are you ok" and legit worried about me & my mental state because all I do is say on twitter that I'm tired these days. Oopsies sorry my bro. He also brought up wanting to learn English again so when we took our cheki together he was like "let's pose like we're studying English" and there you have the "I study English..."

Oyuu and I are as awkward as always. He has this really stupid joke like it's so stupid and not funny that I can't stop myself from laughing at it every single time he says it ("1, 2, sushi~!" whenever he counts down for taking cheki). He had to ask me "Misha is it really that funny" me like "the way you say it.........." 😂 Taking cheki with Oyuu and he asks "Misha what are we going to do for a pose" me like always"Idk" and suddenly I had an arm around me. OK that's fine Oyuu!!! I'll accept that!!! Today he remembered the ♨ mark on the cheki. My friend had named him Hot Water when we went to see them one time because his name oyuu is like hot water in Japanese (oyu/お湯) and he's been drawing it on cheki ever since but he forgot on Halloween.

At one point Ryo came out and he had this big fluffy jacket on and Oe hugged him and snuggled up against the hood and was like "wow I could fall asleep like this" because the jacket was so soft and everyone is just taking pictures of it while I stand there like "lol" I kind of miss being that obsessed with specific members of bands but at the same time nah I'm gucci

zuma was wearing a shark shirt but apparently he hates/has a fear of sharks because of an encounter he had as a kid. "It was probably a baby shark but I was a tot so it seemed HUGE"

While I was waiting for them to write on the cheki you could probably see the life visibly draining from me. I didn't watch the last band or stay around for any tomfoolery afterwards because I just wanted to go home and eat dinner and sleep😭😭😭