#someone said something like this to me and I've never recovered

[minnow-doodle-doo]

the penguin.

[variations-on-a-flat]

Never thought I'd be describing any action by one Caleb Widogast as healthy but here we are

[letstrip13]

🍋 - teach me

reader x matt

based on this request

summary: you're inexperienced, so you turn to your best friend, matt, to teach you a thing or two.

warnings: smut, oral m!receiving

word count: 1,791

author's note: sorry that this took so long to put out. my idea of writing a lot and scheduling posts didn't work out the way i wanted to. also, thank you to the person who sent this (my very first) request in!! i hope you like it :) keep sending more requests, i love getting them!!

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matt wraps his arm around your shoulders as you two settle down to watch a movie in your bedroom. you had invited him over for a sleepover, but it wasn't just to hang out. you had something to ask him that you had been thinking about for a while.

as he gets under the blankets with you, he senses your nervousness and glances over at you, a soft look in his eyes. “are you okay? you've been way quieter than usual,” he asks in a gentle tone. “yeah, i'm fine.” you pause before deciding to ask him the question that's been on your mind, thinking there may not be a better time. “there's just something i've been wanting to ask you.. sort of like a favour. you can say no if you're uncomfortable with it.. it's kind of a lot to ask. i just don't want things to get weird,” you nervously ramble on.

matt gives you a look of curiosity, clearly intrigued by what you're so nervous about. he takes your hand, his thumb softly tracing circles on the back of it. “it's okay, you can ask me anything.” “if you don't want to do this, just forget i asked, okay?” he nods and you take a deep breath before starting.

“you know how i've never really been with a guy, right?” he slowly nods, wondering where you could be going with this. you decide to just be upfront and say exactly what you want. “i want you to teach me how to give a guy head.” his eyes widen in surprise but he quickly recovers the soft smile that was on his face before. “oh yeah, i can definitely teach you. it's not a big deal. so, you just want me to explain it to you right?”

you hesitate for a moment. “no, matt.. i mean i want to practice on you. tell me what I'm supposed to do and i'll do it.” the slow circles matt was tracing on the back of your hand stop suddenly and he leans against the headboard, carefully considering what you said. he glances down at your lips, almost as if he's imagining how they would feel wrapped around his cock.

after what seems like forever, he finally speaks, “are you sure? i don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with.” you nod. “i'm sure. i always wanted my first time doing something like this to be with someone i care about and trust. it almost makes sense that it's you, i trust you more than anyone.” he smiles softly at your words, his heart warming at the fact that you're trusting him to be your first with an experience like this. he leans in close and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “alright, we'll take it slow and make sure you're comfortable. we can stop at any point if you need to.” “okay. thanks for agreeing to this. honestly, i didn't think you would.”

you move a little bit closer to matt. “what do i do first?” he clears his throat slightly. “first, you need to get me hard. we can do that by making out.” his hands hover over your hips. “can i?” you nod and he grabs your hips, moving you so you're straddling his lap. your breath hitches in your throat as you look down at him from this new position.

you slowly lean in, capturing his lips in a sweet, slow, gentle kiss to start off. matt's hands move up your back and into your hair, tangling in the strands as he deepens the kiss. he takes the lead and expertly slips his tongue into your mouth. you follow what he's doing, slipping your tongue into his mouth. when he pulls on your hair, it causes you to squirm a little and you accidentally grind down into his lap. a small groan escapes his lips. you repeat the action, knowing it feels good for him. his hips jerk up, pressing his hardening cock against you through your clothes. he groans into the kiss again, his hands sliding down, giving your ass a firm squeeze. “fuck,” he mumbles.

you stifle a gasp against his lips. you pull away from each other breathlessly and look into each other's eyes, almost as if you're realizing what you're really doing. without a moment's hesitation, you kiss him again, more passionately this time. you slowly roll your hips against his, getting him even harder. matt pushes you down while simultaneously bucking his hips up. he deepens the kiss while you grind against each other. you gain a little confidence and start kissing his jawline and neck, your hip movements not slowing down in the slightest. you eventually pull away, looking into his eyes as you move to grind against him one last time. “now what?” you whisper.

matt's breathing is ragged as he looks into your eyes. he swallows hard, trying to regain any composure and figure out what to say. “uhhh.. you can take off my pants if you're ready.” you nod and get off his lap, sitting on your knees next to him. you unbutton and unzip his jeans. he lifts your hips to help you out as you tug them down just enough so you have access to his boxers. you're still a little nervous so you don't pull them down quite yet, instead, gently touching the fabric covered bulge. his breath hitches as his hard cock throbs against the fabric at your touch. he watches as your hand explores him and he gives you an encouraging nod, signaling to you to continue whenever you're ready.

you slowly pull his boxers down until his cock springs free against his stomach. you part your lips as if you're about to say something but no words come out. it's bigger than you had expected. matt notices the look on your face and gives you a reassuring smile. “take your time, sweetheart. when you're ready, just spit on the tip. then wrap your hand around it and move it up and dow-”

you immediately do what he says, spitting on the tip and watching it trickle down the shaft for a second while his hips jerk at the warm sensation, a soft groan escaping his lips. you wrap your hand around him where the spit fell and you start slowly pumping it up and down, spreading your saliva around. he moans as he unintentionally thrusts up into your hand. “that's it, baby.. you're doing great.” you look into his eyes as you keep going. “what do i do now?”

matt bites his bottom lip, trying to focus on your question through the pleasure you're giving him. “now, you can try taking the tip in your mouth,” he pants out softly. you keep your hand wrapped around the base of his shaft while giving the tip a shy, little lick while looking into his eyes. he gives you a small nod of approval, so you continue teasing him with licks as you get used to the taste of him. once you gain some confidence, you swirl your tongue around the tip and start sucking on it a little as well. his breath catches in his throat and his hips jerk up involuntarily. “fuck yes, just like that,” he groans, “you're doing so good.”

you stop sucking on his tip after about a minute. you pause and look up at him. “do i just keep doing the same thing but further down?” matt nods, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure. “yeah.. just keep going like that. but when you can't take any more in your mouth, start stroking it with your hand like you were doing before.” you nod as you listen to him speak before doing exactly what he says. you take a few inches into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down his length slowly while working the rest of him with your hand.

he groans out in pleasure while his fingers tangle in your hair, holding it back in a makeshift ponytail. “fuck- you're so good at this already,” he mumbles as his hips jerk up again, forcing you to take him deeper in your mouth. you gag on his cock a bit as he unintentionally pushes your head down, pulling back a little. “sorry, didn't mean to do that,” he whispers while stroking your hair softly. you keep going, his moans encouraging you and telling you that you're making him feel good.

you soon realize that the more of matt's cock you have in your mouth, the better it feels for him so you try to take him as deep as you can every time you move your head down. you can feel the tip hitting the back of your throat and the sensation makes your eyes water. the tears mix with the mascara on your bottom lashes as they spill down your cheeks.

matt pants heavily, his eyes closing tightly as he feels his impending orgasm. “shit.. baby, i'm close,” he murmurs, tugging on your hair. when he tells you this, you take his cock as deep down your throat as you can. you feel it twitch in your mouth and you know he's going to cum any second now. his hips jerk up almost violently, pushing his cock deep into your throat as he cums. his hands tighten in your hair, holding you in place while he fills your mouth, shooting his load down your throat with a loud moan. you pull back, keeping your lips wrapped around the tip as you swallow the cum filling your mouth.

you pull away once you've swallowed every last drop that he can give you, his cock leaving your mouth with a soft, wet pop. you wipe the side of your mouth while looking up at him. “did i do good?” matt tries to catch his breath, his eyes remaining locked on yours. “fuck.. yeah, you did amazing,” he whispers, still a bit dazed from the experience.

you sit next to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you wipe away any remaining tears on your cheeks. “thank you for teaching me. that was even better than i thought it would be.” matt tucks his now flaccid dick into his boxers and zips his jeans back up. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. “no problem. you can practice on me any time you want.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head. you pull the blanket up over your legs and you start the movie you were going to watch earlier. you cuddle up next to him while you watch the movie and you eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.

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part 2

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Hi hi!! Can I request a oneshot with Sebek where he has a crush on reader but they're oblivious. Sebek himself is in denial that he might even hold feelings for somebody, but it's clear how he truly feels through his actions (aka acts of service, helping the reader). He pretends to act annoyed about it but the red on his face gives him away to everybody except reader who's just 'hes such a nice guy!". It's gotten to the point even Ace and Deuce of all people are trying to tease/hint to them about what's going awn 😭

COMMENTS: Hi! Um... I'm not sure if this is what you wanted, but I ended up being inspired* to write a story in which Ace and Deuce, with Lilia's help, created a plan to make Sebek confess his feelings. I'm also the oblivious type in these situations so...

I hope you and all enjoy ;)

*(You can see this by the number of words I ended up writing. This doesn't usually happen to me)

CHARACTERS: Sebek Zigvolt x Reader

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Declaration

WORD COUNT: 1.520 words

“Each day this gets even more ridiculous, cringe and awkward.” Ace complains. “And every time we tease them, Sebek pierces our eardrums and (Y/N) gets closer to becoming the third member of the Face Palm Club.”

“Yeah...” Deuce says “He even started appearing out of nowhere just to be useful to (Y/N), even when it's not necessary. I wonder where he learned to be so sneaky with that height and that voice.”

“In fact, the situation is starting to lose the fun it had at the beginning.” A voice suddenly said, startling Ace and Deuce. Lilia just did his upside down appearance.

“Is Sebek acting strange in Diasomnia too?” Deuce asks, after recovering from the scare.

“Well, he was always a peculiar boy.” Lilia chuckles. “I believe you also had fun teasing him.” he sighs “But Sebek's denial of (Y/N)'s obliviousness is already starting to go on for a long time. Even for me. He started talking about (Y/N) the same way he talks about Malleus.” He starts to laugh softly to himself.

“What's so funny?” Ace asks “Did you remember anything embarrassing that happened?”

“I did. One day...” Lilia had just talked to Sebek to try to get him to admit that he have a crush on you. His mission failed due to Sebek’s stubbornness. Lilia was close to the door and Sebek wasn't paying attention to it. He was yelling at another Diasomnia student for some reason. Lilia smiled mischievously and said loudly something like: “Oh (Y/N)! To what do we owe the visit?” Sebek’s thunderous voice fell silent immediately and he turned to the door with a smile that was unthinkable a second ago. Lilia was amused to see his expression turn to embarrassment upon discovering that Lilia had tricked him.”

Ace and Deuce laughed.

“Dude, the other day I was trying to hint (Y/N) that Sebek had a thing for them. Do you know what they replied to me?” Ace imitates your voice with a cute smile on his face “Aw, he's just being nice. And I was like, He’s only nice to you!”

Lilia started by laughing, but then wondered: “As (YN)’s close friends, do you think they might feel the same way about Sebek?”

“Oh, definitely!” Ace confirms “But since he's in denial, I think (Y/N) understands this as not being interested. I mean, you just said he treats Malleus the same way. Do you think he has a crush on Malleus too?” Ace laughs.

“I've been further from believing in such a thing.” Lilia whispers to himself. “But despite the treatment he gives them both is similar,” he says to them “I can distinguish between the admiration he feels for Malleus and the affection he feels for (Y/N). He sees Malleus as an extremely respectable superior. In (Y/N)'s case I believe it's more like someone weaker but worthy of his protection and respect.”

“What do you think it would be like if they finally declared themselves to each other?” Deuce asks.

“Well, as I've never seen Sebek go through anything like this before, the results might be surprising.” Lilia smiles mischievously “An experiment worth testing, don't you agree?”

You were in Ramshackle Dorm when you hear someone knocking on the door. A strong, firm type of knocking that you recognize.

“HUMAN! How can you be so reckless with your own safety?!” Sebek says the moment you open the door. If you say "Hello to you too" before asking what he's talking about, he will blush slightly and respond: “I apologize for not greeting you properly. But Lilia-sama told me about your cursed room. And that's why I'm here.” he gets a smug on his face “Lilia-sama entrusted me with instructions to solve your problem.”

You ask him what he's talking about. You didn't have any cursed rooms. At least that you knew.

“Lilia said maybe you don't know yet. He suggested asking the ghosts if this is true. They would have more knowledge about this subject.”

You do this and the ghosts confirm it. They say yes, that there is a scary, cursed room in the dorm and that they are very grateful to Seberk for being there to help them. And you know something is up. Not with the dorm, but with the ghosts. Was Lilia messing with Sebek again and asked the ghosts for help?

The ghosts guide you to the "cursed room". If you ask where Grim is, they'll tell you he was so scared by that room that he hid in your bedroom. That excuse doesn't convince you.

“You know,” One of the ghosts tells Sebek. “We’re very happy to see that someone cares about (Y/N) as much as you do.”

Sebek starts to blush a little. “W-well, this is nothing special. Don't think I'm doing this because I have some strong feelings for (Y/N). Don't let those two Heartslabyul humans get that idea into your heads. I'm here because I was entrusted by LIlia-sama himself to solve the problem that a poor human without magic wouldn't be able to deal with.”

The ghosts look between them, disappointed by Sebek's stubbornness and denial.

Once in front of the cursed room's door, you open it. You and Sebek enter a dusty and unused room like so many others in Ramshackle Dorm. And the door abruptly shuts behind the two of you, leaving you locked inside.

Sebek takes a step as if to run towards the door but stops himself. You ask why he did that, if he wasn't going to try to open the door.

“My first instinct is to do so. But Lilia said this would happen. And that I needed to be firm and follow the instructions he had given me.”

“Which are...?” you ask.

“The ones in the paper on my pocket that Lilia said I shouldn't open until this very moment.”

Even though I knew it sounded like a Lilia prank, you also knew that it didn't matter what you said to Sebek. He never disputes Lilia's word even if it's the silliest thing anyone has ever heard. And he wasn't going to start doubting it now. Your only option, besides having a useless argument with Sebek, is to play along.

He takes the paper out of his pocket, unfolds it and reads it. The next thing you see is a look of astonishment and a loud "WHAT?!" coming from his mouth. You ask what is written on the paper and he needs a few seconds to take a deep breath before telling you. He blushed again and read it out loud.

“To break the curse, two people must sacrifice their freedom within the room, until they both confess their true feelings for each other.”

Yes, you know that sounds like a non-sense romantic trope, but once again, Sebek won't question anything Lilia says. Or in this case, writes. He turns to you.

“Well, you are the host. By all means, go first.”

Well, that all sounds to you like some kind of prank. So you decide not to tell the truth. You say you like him, but not in a way that he perceives as romantic, to protect your feelings.

“I'm glad that you realize how valuable I am in your life.” He says this with a smug that disappears right after. “You... for a human are very... respectable, and... worthy of my devotion. Yes, I think this would suffice.”

He quickly heads for the door. Pull it. It doesn't open. Push. Nothing. He starts trying to force the door open, but the only thing he can do is practically shake the wall.

He gives up, frustrated. He inhales and sighs, turns like the soldier he is and walks towards you with a determined look in his eyes. “Human, I wasn't completely honest with you. I want to reiterate that I am only doing this to break the curse! Everything that is said in this room must never leave the same! UNDERSTOOD?”

You agree. Sebek closes his eyes, as if it would be easier for him to say it. And his cheeks start to blush.

“I don't know what this is.” He opens his eyes, with that exaggeratedly angry look of his. “And I refuse to call it... being in love or, as those humans you hang out with say, having a crush.” he calms down again “What I said earlier is not a lie. I do respect you, and I do see you as one of the few worthy of my devotion. But not like the Young Master or Lilia. I...” he closes his eyes again, and his blush intensifies “I NOURISH STRONG PLEASANT FEELINGS FOR YOU! THAT IS ALL I KNOW!”

You take this opportunity to be honest with him as well. In your own way and with your words you say that you feel the same way about him. You two are silent for a few seconds after that. Sebek doesn't know what to say or what to do, he just lets himself look at you with a surprised and affectionate look that you've never seen before.

The door slowly opens by itself.

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[goldustwomun]

all of me wants all of you (s.b.)

pairing: sirius black x younger potter!reader

summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. plus, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?

warnings: angst so much angst, some healing as well, hugs from a concerned mother, more angst, more angst, fluff?, actual communication omg, do you ever meet someone's eyes and just one look from them has you breaking down and bawling, yeah :) , not proofread but i'll do it in the morning!!

wc: 3.3k+

note: i've been on some sort of writing kick so enjoy these daily updates D: anyway can y'all tell i'm MISSING my mum. only four more weeks though! x

pt i. / pt ii. / pt iii.

You were elbow deep in a sink of dirty dishes, your Mum towelling dry the plates next to you, when you finally came out and said it.

“Am I a disappointment, Mum?”

She froze right there, arms poised and plate hovering mid-air. It was only a second later when she recovered, gently placing the dish on the counter when she turned to look at you. Her head was titled in that concerned way of hers, and you’re not sure what it was about the look in her eyes – of hurt and worry and love – but the tears started flowing right then and there.

“Oh, my love, how could you ever think that?” she questioned, tugging you into her arms, not caring about the water from your hands or the tears from your eyes soaking her new cotton dress. She smelled of chamomile tea and custard creams and home. And as much as you thought you hated her sometimes; her reassurance was what you needed most when the world seemed out to get you.

“You could never disappoint me or Da’, you know that.” She pulled back, forcing you to look up into her eyes, noticing the shimmer across her own irises. “Tell me you know that my sweetest girl.”

“I—” and your voice broke but you kept going— “I don’t know if I do.” With a deep breath you tried to explain it all. “It just seems like everyone hates me sometimes. And I guess it, I’m difficult, I know that I am, but sometimes—I mean, a lot of the time, really, it feels like I can’t control it. When I argue and bicker and stomp away in a tantrum. It’s these feelings—I have so many, and I never know what to do with them, and it’s like drowning in indecision and I always make the wrong choice.”

“I know, love, I know,” she soothed, pulling you back in and smoothing her palm across your hair. You melted into her embrace like you hadn’t since you were ten years old. “You’re so much like me, you know? I swear, hear it every time we’re out with our friends. And when I was your age, I felt that way too. Lost and overwhelmed and like I wasn’t enough.”

“So, what did you do—to get rid of those feelings, I mean?” you asked, already dreading her answer.

“I didn’t. And you shouldn’t want to, either.” You almost lifted your head to argue but stopped yourself before you could. “Your emotions and feelings and thoughts and dreams—they make you who you are. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge the root of the ones that pester you the most and try to understand why they have such a hold over you. And maybe it’s my fault, really, for not saying it more, but we are so so proud of you.”

“I think you say it more to James and Sirius than you do to me,” you pointed out, a slight bite to your words but not enough to sting.

“James is, well, James. I can’t deny that he’s occasionally—” you raised your eyebrow incredulously at that and she responded with an amused eyeroll— “struggled with his classes and getting it together, so it seemed important to guide him in the right direction with praises. Sirius, on the other hand—well, we’re all he has. We just wanted him to feel loved.”

You nodded, understanding, but not sure how you fit into all of this. “Then you, my love. When you were younger you were always naturally good at things. I never understood where you got that from cause it certainly wasn’t from me. You put little effort into things and excelled, so maybe I got used to the idea that I knew you’d always be alright even if I didn’t say anything. But that’s my fault, I shouldn’t have withheld my pride out of laziness.”

“I don’t think you’re lazy, Mum,” you urged, but she hushed you with that stern voice of hers.

“I’m sure you don’t but shush because I won’t admit it again,” she scolded, her voice entirely mocking and somewhere between those tears, you managed a smile. “Your Da’ and I always knew you’d go on to do brilliant things. You’re intelligent, and passionate, and those muggle kids of yours adore you. You’re shaping their lives in ways you can’t even know, and they’re lucky to have you, just like I am, my sweet girl.”

She leaned forward, placing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“And do you hate that I live at home still?”

She reeled back, both shocked and confused. “of course not. We love having you here! It’s entirely selfish, really. Got to convert James’ old room into a study, as well as keep you around for the company and to help with chores. If anything, I don’t want you to move out,” she explained, serious. “Really, if you had more natural light in your room, we would’ve helped you to a new place the second you graduated from Hogwarts.”

You barked out a laugh at that, entirely believing her. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’m wanted, or whatever.” You could feel your cheeks flaring at the thought of saying it out loud, but you ignored the feeling to relish in your Mum’s embrace a little while longer.

“Oh, yeah—whatever,” she teased, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from your face. “You could never disappoint me.”

All you could do was nod before your face dropped with apprehension. “What—what is it, love?” she asked, concerned herself.

“Well, you see, you say that now but I did something kind of dumb…” you trailed off, unable to confess just yet.

“What did you—you didn’t murder someone, did you? Because I love you but I don’t think I could manage Azkaban with those arthritis flare ups I’ve been getting.”

“What--! Mum, no, I didn’t—how could I? How could you think I’d be capable of murder?!” and really it had been the longest you’d gone without absolutely belting at someone.

“You are quite easily irritated,” she reasoned.

“If people stopped being so irritating—” you stopped, taking a deep breath, before confessing— “No, it’s both better and worse.”

“Go on,” she encouraged, but even she didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“I kissed Sirius.”

And it was like crickets between the two of you. Not a scolding shout or a cry of horror or—

“Okay… and is that it?” she asked bluntly.

“What do you mean ‘is that it?’. It’s wild, unbelievable, otherworldly, even!” you sputtered, not quite comprehending the calm with which she was speaking.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, love. It’s not a good look,” and she pushed you out of the way to continue scrubbing at the dirty dishes, ignoring your stunned frame.

“Aren’t you going to ask me ‘why’?” you pushed, peering over her shoulder to check she was very much alive and breathing and not pranking you with a bit of some sort.

“I don’t need to, I know why,” she answered simply. You balked, tugging her shoulder back so she halted her movements and turned to face you.

“And what might that ‘why’ be?”

“It’s simple, really. You love him, you’ve always loved him. Since you were five and he pushed James into the dirt for stealing your copy of that Tiger, Wizard, and Cabinet’ book.”

You couldn’t help the way your hand slapped against your face right then, from exhaustion or exasperation, you weren’t sure. “It’s the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Mum,” you groaned.

“That definitely doesn’t sound right,” she pouted. “Anyway, he got the book back from James and you were so pleased you came up to me and said ‘Mummy, I think Sirius isn’t so bad after all, can we keep him?’. And when I explained the laws around owning human beings, you huffed and hid under the dining room table all day until you fell asleep.”

“Well, that does sound like me…”

“Of course, it sounds like you. I’m your mother,” she chided. “You didn’t start pretending to hate Sirius until you were about ten or eleven and he got that first girlfriend of his. What was her name—Lacey? Macey?”

“Stacey,” you chewed out, only to realise the anger with which you spoke her name despite never having known her. “Oh—”

“’Oh’ indeed. And what did you say to young Sirius after this kiss?” she pried, entirely engrossed in the story now as she rested her hip against the damp counter.

“I might’ve—you know---”

“No! you didn’t!” she burst out, already knowing exactly what you were going to say.

“I did, Mum, I did,” you moaned, pathetic and questioning if there was any way to rectify the situation, you’d found yourself in.

“Well, I can’t help you with that, love. You’re on your own, kid,” she explained, wiping her hands clean before sending you off (you weren’t entirely sure where, exactly) with a pat on your back.

If you were anyone else, you would’ve taken such an encouraging conversation and somewhat-healed trauma of your childhood as a sign to go speak with Sirius.

But no, lucky for you, you were you.

He hadn’t shown up to work all week, using the flu as an excuse. So when James and Lily invited you over for a small gathering— “Really, James, two parties in one month? What kind of home are you raising my nephew in!”—you hadn’t thought much of it, or him.

“Do let me know if I’ve got this correct– you’ve decided to host a fourth of July party despite not being American, or, now that I think about it further, ever having been to America?” you questioned, genuinely worrying for Lily’s sanity as she rocked a bumbling Harry on her lap, cheeks painted with red, white and blue stars.

“Well, when you put it like that,” James groused, pouting, arms folded against his chest despite being the adult that he was.

“How else would you put it, James?” you argued, exasperated.

Lily perked up at the sound of a potential fight and silenced the two of you with a single look. If anyone was made to be a mother, it had to be Lily. She was compassionate and kind and gentle, as much as she could scare you with a simple glance, she could soothe all your worries as well.

“Look, I just needed an excuse to have a beer, and what better excuse is there than this! The holiday of beers—” I thought that was St. Paddy’s “—Hush! Otherwise, I’d have to wait for someone’s birthday or, what’s the next holiday–? Halloween? That’s ages away.”

You smirked at his odd logic. “Obviously it doesn’t necessarily have to be very Americana or whatever. Red, white and blue– just close your eyes and pretend it’s the beloved Union Jack instead!”

The gathering wasn’t as big as the last one, and you recognised the few familiar faces as Lily and James’ closest friends: Remus, Marlene, Mary, Peter, Sirius—

Sirius? Your head whipped back in a double take, watching as he pulled Remus into a hug ‘hello’ right by the garden gate. He hadn’t noticed you, not yet, but it didn’t take long for his gaze to fixate right on you. You couldn’t read his face, not having ever quite mastered the skill, but this time especially, he looked dazed and withdrawn.

Even his smiled seemed tight, like he didn’t quite mean it, and your heart plummeted at the thought that you’d done that to him.

“I’ll be right back,” you offered, distracted, to James as he preoccupied himself with squeezing Harry’s chubby fist.

Sirius had gone straight inside, probably headed for the kitchen, and you followed suit, wondering what it was about your brother’s house that had the two of you both rushing to and avoiding confrontation.

You found him right where you had expected—peering into the dimly lit fridge and pulling out a bottle of beer.

“Sirius,” you said, announcing your presence as you let the door click shut behind you. Luckily, no one else was inside the house, rather taking in the one day of sunlight and light breeze in an otherwise damp English spring.

You watched as his shoulders tensed instantly, and you just knew he wanted to be anywhere else but there, with you, at that moment, but he turned to face you anyway.

“How can I help, Potter?” he asked, keeping his cards close to his chest still.

“Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now,” he pointed out, brow raised as he took a deep gulp of his drink, cringing at the taste.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” you pushed back, inching a step forward.

 “No, I don’t know what you mean,” he replied smoothly, seemingly untouched by the implication behind your words.

“You’re such a prick sometimes, Sirius.”

“And you’ve only just noticed? My, didn’t take you as slow, Potter,” he noted, mockingly, and you flinched at his casual cruelty.

“Don’t do that,” you scolded.

“Do what?” he fought back, “Speak my mind? Seems like you’re the only one allowed to do that around here, and when anyone dares contest, well, all hell breaks loose.”

“You’re not speaking your mind, though,” you argued.

“Ah, and you know my mind so well, do you?” The annoying thing about Sirius, amongst many other things, was that he knew how to get under your skin. Had perfected the craft after years of verbal combat with you. So his words poked and prodded at your soft underbelly with ease as he brandished his hurt around like a swordsman with a too-heavy sword.

“Maybe not entirely, but when it comes to us, I think I know enough.” He stayed silent after that, hesitant, as if waiting for you to make the first move. “The other day, when we kissed—” and you knew you were getting hotter because something, some feeling, flickered behind his irises “—I said it was a mistake—”

“—I know, love. I was there,” he scowled. “No need to remind a man of his failings.”

“Just— let me finish!” You inhaled, slow, before continuing. “I said it was a mistake when, in fact, I felt the opposite. It’s just—it’s you and I, Sirius, and when it comes to us, I might know, inside, what I mean and feel and intend to show but when it comes to the actual ‘doing’ part of it all, I always seem to mess up. So, when I said it was a mistake, what I really meant was—”

And it was his turn to cut you off with his mouth, only this time it was sweet and yearning and apologetic as opposed to the fire and passion and lust that had guided the two of you the last time you’d found yourself in his hold.

His mouth slid over your own, careful and inquisitive, whilst his palms cradled your face, as if you’d slip out of his grasp if he moved even an inch in the wrong direction.

It was lovely, really.

As much as you wished for him to keep going, to keeping kissing you like he might yearn for you too (though you wouldn’t be saying those three words for a while), you were horribly aware of the fact that Lily, or worse, your brother, might walk in at any moment.

So, Sirius didn’t allow himself to get carried away with you, not yet at least, and instead he pulled away with a content sigh, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb as if to memorise it by feel alone.

“Is that our thing then? Kisses in the form of sneak-attacks?” you mused, vibrating and giddy and utterly pleased.

“Could be, if you want?” and it seemed like he was still entranced with your mouth to properly reply in any meaningful manner.

“Sirius,” you pleaded, urging him to look at you, properly. He tore his gaze away from your lips, finally, and the way his face split into a grin had those fucking butterflies returning, tenfold. “Are you okay?”

“I will be once I take you to mine and do that all over again, only, a little less clothed and a lot more horizontal” he promised, the cheek of his you had come to endearing having return after his previous sulking.

“You’re a menace,” you groaned as he buried his smirking face into the crook of your neck, holding you tight to him before his grip relaxed and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you right there.

“I know, and I’m only joking—well, if you want me to be joking, I will be. But I’m fine—I swear it. It just seems surreal, us, like this,” he explained.

“I get that, it is a bit odd, but I’ve realised you need to contextualise those weird, new feelings and not let them control you, at least, not if they’re ‘bad’ or whatever,” you offered clumsily, trying, in your own way, to relay the same advice your Mum had.

He snorted in response, and you smacked his back from where your arms were wrapped around him. “You sound like your Mum.”

“Mm, that is my Mum. Only, she said it better, and more concise, and in that Mum-way that just makes sense.”

“Ah, well that makes a bit more sense.” He pulled back for a moment, not letting you out of the circle of his arms yet. “We should talk about this a little more, shouldn’t we?”

You nodded, sighing as you moved away from him to get a hold of your thoughts once more. “I think, for me at least, I conflated anger with my feelings for you because I wasn’t exactly sure how to handle them, and deep down, I worried you’d reject me, so it seemed easier to argue with you than—”

“--this,” he finished for you, and he must’ve read the agreement on your face because he bobbed his head in response. “It makes sense, really, and it’s about the same for me, only, there was the whole issue of James and, I mean, I’m older—”

“—by a few years,” you maintained, scowling, and he wanted to kiss you for it.

“Yes, love, but a few years means different things depending on how old you are. We’ve never really been in the same phase of life until now, so I don’t think I wanted it—nor would it have been appropriate, really—until a year or two ago. By then, it seemed too late, so I just kept—”

“—bickering.”

“Yeah, bickering. Arguing. Biting back. It was the safer option.” And everything he said made sense, it was all entirely reasonable, but you still mourned the time lost to not being entirely honest with each other.

“But there’s no point worrying over that now, not when we can’t do anything about it,” he reasoned, noting the faraway look in your eyes and centring you back, there, with him.

“We should get back to the party,” you whispered, fearing what would happen when the two of you left the safety on the kitchen, flooded still with gold and a certain stillness that had you aching for this moment to be forever.

“Yeah, love, let’s go back,” he answered, just as quiet, nudging his head toward the door. Just as your hand came up to turn the doorknob, Sirius’ palm came up in front of you, halting your movements. He stood, still, behind you, and close as ever. You could feel every breath he took, and that damn cologne you’d started missing in the bookstore as well. “Don’t worry about us, love, we’ll be fine,” he assured you.

You answered by turning the knob and making your way back towards the garden. Sirius followed from behind, and when you stepped through the backdoor, you realised how little had changed since you’d gone inside, but also just how much had changed, as well.

as always, please comment and reblog if you enjoyed this <3

[uglypastels]

okok I've had this idea brewing in my filthy mind for a few days so imagine sanji discovering camgirl! Strawhat reader and becomes kinda obsessed?? Maybe one day she wears something of his(maybe a ring or his shirt) live and he goes absolutely feral and has his way with her??😵😵💫

I took out the camgirl aspect because I just wasn't sure how to incorporate it into the universe?? (I'm still new to it, so trying to figure out the dos and don'ts haha.) but I hope it's still good.

masterlist | inbox - requests open

reminder that reblogs and comments are the best way to support writers on Tumblr

warning: 18+ content. MDNI. simp sanji. masturbation. suggestive language and actions. light biting.

Laundry Day.

'Can someone remind me again whose brilliant idea it was to fight the giant squid?' You looked down at yourself, stiff as a board, as you felt every inch of your body to be sticky with black ink.

When you looked up again, the rest of the crew had all found a sudden interest in the most mundane parts of the ship, not daring to meet your deadly glare.

'Thought so,' you mumbled. 'I'm gonna go change.' Awkwardly, you made your way downstairs to the bathroom to try and wash off the black goo the sea monster had spewed onto you. You scrubbed for what felt like an hour, with the stains just never seeming to seize. The water poured down your body, slowly turning from a black abyss into a drabby grey until it finally recovered to its natural clear state, and the smell of fish was exchanged for your hair conditioner and body scrub.

stupid. fucking. squid. You kicked around your thoughts as you got out of the shower, nearly falling over in the process.

Too tired to cross the ship to your room, you instead walked to the small laundry cabin that was next to the bathroom and picked up the first pair of shorts you found and a button-up shirt to throw on.

You had thought it was one of yours, always being fond of having some larger piece of attire to throw over a short sleeve, but you soon realised your mistake when you entered the kitchen.

Sanji was in the middle of setting some water to boil, glancing up at you from his work with a soft smile. That smile then quickly froze in what you could only describe as a shock.

'I know I look like a mess,' you sighed, reaching over to the cupboard where the crew kept their hardest liquor. The day just called for a shot. Or three.

'Not the words I would use.' Sanji said, the clicking of the gas stove intercepting him, 'Is that- is that my shirt?'

You glanced down, noticing the blue striped pattern on the material and the actual tailoring of the shirt as opposed to the ones you were used to wearing.

You cursed under your breath. 'Sorry. I'll go change.' You began unrolling the sleeves, already seeing how they started to crease.

'No,' Sanji coughed out. 'It's fine. Honestly.'

'You sure?' You looked up at him apprehensively, but he just shrugged and continued on cooking.

You poured yourself a drink and made yourself comfortable opposite Sanji, enjoying the show that was his meal prep.

'Where's everyone else?' you asked as he began chopping up vegetables.

'Uhm, probably sleeping off the squid,' he chuckled, focused on the ingredients. As he kept going, you realised his answers kept getting shorter and shorter with each question. What usually would be full of quips and flirtatious remarks was cut down, blunt, like the edge of a dull knife.

And at first you had brushed it aside as him concentrating on his craft, but the longer he cooked, the more noticeable it was how he avoided your gaze. Even when talking, he didn't dare look up.

'Are you really ok with me wearing this?' You asked eventually when he was done and washing his hands in the sink.

'Of course, darlin',' he wiped his hands on a towel. He was about to turn around, but you saw the moment as your chance and swiftly slithered by his side. He stumbled back slightly in surprise.

'So why have you been ignoring me for the past hour?'

'I haven't,' he slipped by you elegantly and got to packing up the prepared food into storage boxes.

'But you have-- you didn't even look at me until now.'

'Sorry, sweetheart. I was working.' Usually, his saying something like that would make you think things were back to normal, but he seemed nervous, and before you could say anything else, he excused himself to his cabin.

Confused and a bit flustered at the sudden departure, you stood in the kitchen for a moment. You had planned on going upstairs, to get some fresh air, when Luffy stormed into the room.

'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'glad to see you're back to your ink-free self.'

'Yeah, thanks, Luf.' You took another shot quickly and watched as the captain raided all the cupboards. 'Watcha looking for there?'

'The tangerine cookies that Sanji made yesterday. There should still be some here.' He stretched his arm out to pat around the back of the highest drawer.

'You sure you didn't eat them yet?'

'Nooo,' Luffy looked at you sternly. 'Because I put them there specifically so I wouldn't eat them earlier.'

'Right,' you nodded. 'Well, Sanji had been busy around here, prepping lunch for tomorrow; maybe he moved some things around,' you suggested. 'You could go and ask him.'

'Aaah, I could,' Luffy wavered, 'but I was hoping to do this without Sanji's help.'

'Did he ban you from the kitchen again?' After the last incident of Lufft stuffing himself full of snacks right before dinner, the cook had given him strict orders not to eat an hour before meals. Looking at the clock, you could see it was closing in on dinner time.

Luffy scoffed, which only confirmed your assumptions. With a sigh, you got up. 'Fine, I'll ask him. But he might be asleep, you know.'

'Thanks. You're the best.' Luffy said, arm the length of the room as he opened cupboard after cupboard. You just rolled your eyes and made your way to Sanji's cabin.

'Hey, Sanji,' you knocked softly, unsure if he had maybe decided to take a nap. With no response from the other side of the door, you tried again. You thought to just let it go and leave him be, but then you heard the clashing of the pans in the kitchen, followed by a Luffy 'I'm ok!' and knew that you needed an answer for your captain. These were desperate times.

'Hey, Sanji,' you opened the door. The only thing you had really seen was the shape of his body splayed out on the bed, and it was more of an instinct or a gut reaction that told you that you should not look any further. So, quickly apologising, you shut the door again as Sanji cursed out in shock at the door opening.

'Sorry!' You shouted through the door, simultaneously trying to comprehend the blurs of your vision and trying to forget anything you might have seen. He wasn't... no, that wasn't... no.

There was some stumbling coming from his room, followed by a few more curse words. You didn't know why you were still standing beside his door, but he certainly didn't expect you to have stayed there, and so, when he entered the corridor, your bodies practically collided.

'I didn't see anything!' You blurted out before Sanji could say anything. Both your faces were wide in horror. 'I swear- I just,' you made the mistake of taking his appearance in. His shirt was untucked from his trousers, belt unbuckled and hanging at his sides. Oh god. 'I just... I was wondering where the tangerine cookies were. The ones you made yesterday.'

He was still hard. Most of it was hidden by the layers of clothing, but there was no denying it. You did your best to keep your eyes on his face as he listened to you blurt out words like a maniac, but it sure was difficult as all the puzzle pieces came together.

'They should be in the left cabinet, bottom shelf. Behind the baking ingredients. I hid them so Luffy wouldn't eat them before dinner.'

'Good thinking,' you laughed, probably a bit too loud for the situation, but the nerves were getting worse by the second. 'Well, bye then.' And with that, you ran off to the kitchen, leaving Sanji in all his unspeakable glory behind.

In the kitchen, you were met with Luffy picking up the pans he had dropped and Nami looking at him with what could only be described as disappointment. Without acknowledging them, you walked over to the left cabinet, opened the bottom half of it and searched the bottom shelf for the box of leftover cookies, slamming them onto the counter. Luffy immediately lunged forward to them, oblivious to your shocked state, but the navigator was a bit more perceptive.

'What happened to you?' she asked, declining the offer of a cookie from the captain, who already had two in his mouth.

'Nothing,' you shook your head.

'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

'I didn't! I didn't see anything!' Nope, nothing at all. You definitely did not see that. Or how big it was... or how his hand looked wrapped around it... or his face when he- NO.

'Hey, is that Sanji's shirt?' Now, Luffy decided to be observant. You looked down at your shirt as if you had only now noticed what you were wearing.

'Oh, I guess it is.'

'He must be having a field day with that,' Nami snickered, to which you looked at her confused. She, in turn, rolled her eyes 'Like you haven't seen the way he looks at you on a regular day.'

'I- no?' you blinked, trying to grapple with what she was talking about.

Nami just shrugged before grabbing the last cookie from Luffy's hand and walking out of the room. If you thought he would be aware of anything that you had just talked about, you would have asked the captain if he knew what Nami meant by her comments but instead just contemplated on it all by yourself.

Against all your survival instincts, you walked back in the direction of Sanji's door and knocked again. This time loud and clear. There was shuffling coming from the other side, and a second later, the door opened to reveal Sanji. His lips were pulled in a tight line of a smile as he looked down at you.

'Hey, can I come in?' you asked softly.

'What?' Sanji asked before the initial question properly connected in his mind. 'Uhh, I don't think that's a great idea.'

'Sanj, we should talk about what happened earlier.'

'Do we, though?' His voice raised in pitch nervously, but you just glared up at him, unimpressed.

'Sanji, please just let me come inisde.' You pushed out any thought that just burst through your mind that did not have to do with the current situation, but it was hard to see the images of what you saw in his room before were still very much playing over and over in your head.

In the end, Sanji gave in and opened the door for you. As you walked in, he stayed behind you, hand running nervously through his hair, as he spoke: 'Listen, I'm really sorry about... everything that happened today, really.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for.' You turned to face him. 'I'm the one that stole your shirt and stormed into your room unannounced.' It was his room. He had the right to do whatever he pleased in it.

Sanji laughed awkwardly, looking away to the far side of the room, but even then, you caught how his eyes glanced and slightly lingered over your body. The blue-striped shirt still hanging over it.

You, in the meantime, fought the urge to look at his body, combined with the memory of what you had caught him doing.

Maybe it was the few shots you had taken earlier to forget about the giant squid attack that instead did nothing you had hoped for but only made you bolder as you asked: 'were you thinking about me?'

'What?'

'You know, earlier. When I walked in. Were you... thinking of me?'

'Shit, don't make me say it.' He combed his fingers through his hair. You walked over to him, closing the gap between you lightly.

'Why not?'

'Because I don't want to make things weird between us.' His jaw clenched as you came towards him, and you couldn't help but laugh at what he had to say.

'Oh, it's definitely too late for that now. Things are already weird.'

'Super weird, aren't they?' he asked softly, strangely intensely.

And so, when you responded, your agreeing words were only as hushed as he had been, too focused on each other's proximity. The two of you stood there, frozen between actions, taking each other's bodies in at the new lack of distance until Sanji took the final step over the edge, kissing you with his hands on cupping your cheeks.

You stumbled back at the force, steadying yourself when you caught onto the shirt he was wearing. One of his hands moved down to your waist, guiding you to his bed until the back of your knees hit the wood, and you lightly fell back.

Sanji placed himself over you, and as his weight pressed over you, you could feel his hard-on through his trousers. A curse fell from his lips when you reached for it and your fingertips moved over the material.

'You've been drivin' me insane the whole day, walkin' around in that shirt.' He said as he began leaving a trail of kisses down your neck.

'Figured,' you couldn't but be a bit smug about it, which he did not seem to appreciate given the pinch of his teeth you felt on your sensitive skin.

You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him even closer to you, trying to get some, friction out of the movement as he pressed himself against you.

'Cocky are we?' He smiled into his kisses, and at this point, all you could do was nod in agreement.

Sanji kept himself up over you with one hand as he used the other to unzip your shorts. One-handed and without a clear view, taking them off turned out to be a bit more of a challenge, far more awkward than expected when you tried to shuffle out of them, but his touch on your skin made up for it by tenfold.

You were about to make a start on unbuttoning the shirt you were wearing when Sanji stopped you. 'No, keep it on.' and kissed you before you could make any other snarky remark on his behalf. But when he pulled away again, though slightly dazed by the passion, you still managed to comment.

'If this is the treatment I receive for stealing your clothes, I might just do it more often.'

To this, Sanji groaned through his teeth. 'You're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart, I swear.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: wrong number au, Eddie texts Gareth something personal but puts in 1 wrong number & ends up texting Steve. The two of them hit it off & start chatting & then when they meet IRL they are completely head over heels in love & its cute as fuck

MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE!!! LOVE A GOOD WRONG NUMBER AU!!! I can't believe I've never written it before now. I also had to actually include Gareth because I am actually obsessed with him lately, and I just think it's really neat that we can make these characters our own. This was such a fun and cute request! I didn't do the inappropriate route because I thought this was hilarious so sorry about that. I made up for it with something else! - Mickala ❤️

----------------------------------------------------------

GARE BEAR! You won’t believe it but i dropped my phone in a sewer. Lost everything.

He had never been so happy about having his closest friends’ numbers memorized. His phone was somewhere under the streets of Chicago, floating through dirty water and sewage, dying a slow and painful death.

He texted everyone else one at a time, let them know he had a new number and to completely delete the old one because it would never be recovered.

They were used to things like this happening; He lost his phone annually at this point and it was cheaper just to get a new number than transfer everything to a new one.

He went to dial Wayne, the old school part of him insisting on phone calls instead of texts still, when Gareth’s name popped up with a new text.

Not sure who Gare Bear is, but sorry about your phone. That’s shitty.

Eddie let out a loud laugh.

did you mean to make a pun?

Did it make you laugh?

yes

Then yes.

Eddie sat down on a bench, entirely focused on his conversation with this stranger.

Did you find your Gare Bear yet?

Not yet but i think i’m pretty happy talking to you for now

Smooth, Eddie.

Admittedly, he was in a hell of a dry spell.

Going on almost two years, actually.

A little flirting with a stranger never hurt anybody, not when he clearly needed some practice.

Not sure if your Gare Bear would like it very much though

Wait, what?

Eddie stared at his phone, trying to comprehend what that could mean. Why would Gareth not want him talking to a stranger?

I hope you find your partner though!

Oh.

Oh!

Eddie hit the call button in the corner before he could even register what he was doing.

“Hello?”

Oh no, he sounded hot.

“Hi. So, Gareth is very much not my partner. He probably actually wishes I would really forget his number,” Eddie rushed out.

“Um. Okay?”

“He’s been my best friend for ten years and he thinks I’m a mess. Not a partner,” Eddie further clarified.

“Got it. Not a partner.”

“Yes, exactly.”

They stayed silent for a moment before Eddie coughed.

“I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“Steve. Sorry about your phone, seriously that sucks,” he sounded genuinely apologetic, like he personally threw Eddie’s phone in the sewer.

“Oh, no big deal. I lose my phone more often than I go out with someone,” Eddie said.

Why did he say that?

Steve let out a laugh and it was like music.

Eddie couldn’t help the smile taking over his face at his laugh, already knew he wasn’t gonna be able to let this guy go without learning more about him.

“So you’re, what? Celibate?” Steve asked.

“Far from it. Well, maybe not far from it. Temporarily, maybe. It’s been a while,” Eddie admitted.

“How long?” Steve asked, a loud bang coming from his end of the phone. “Sorry, I had to go outside for some privacy.”

Eddie wasn’t going to read into that. He wasn’t.

“Two years give or take. I mean I’m not counting shitty dates that ended before they got worse. So, yeah. Two years.”

“Been a year for me, but. Yeah, I get it. My last relationship didn’t end on the best terms. She decided I was too in love with her I guess,” Steve sighed, voice sounding pained.

She.

Steve was probably straight.

There was no way he’d be lucky enough for Steve to like men.

Or for Steve to like him.

“I can’t really imagine breaking up with someone because they loved me too much. I’m usually the one who falls too hard,” Eddie admitted.

“Yeah, well, same here,” Steve sounded sad, a bit withdrawn.

Eddie wanted to hear him laugh again.

“I doubt either of us have ever fallen as hard as my phone did down a drain,” Eddie said sadly.

Steve let out a loud laugh and Eddie smiled.

“This might sound crazy, but I’m kind of glad your phone decided to live in the sewers,” Steve said when he finally calmed down. “And maybe a little too happy that you typed your friend’s number wrong.”

“Oh really? Why’s that?”

Was this flirting? Was he successfully having a flirtatious conversation with a potentially very hot guy?

“So I can be bold and ask if you maybe wanted to meet up somewhere?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“So you’re in Chicago?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah. You?”

“For the last five years, yeah.”

“You busy tonight?”

Eddie’s heart stopped.

He was really going to meet up with a stranger just because he liked his laugh and hoped he was hot.

He’d done more with less.

“Yeah, actually. I’m getting dinner with this guy I accidentally texted,” Eddie smirked, looking down at his feet.

“Dinner? What a lucky guy. Where are you going?” Steve sounded amused.

“Well, it depends on what he likes. I’ve been craving some pierogies. Ever been to Staropolska?” Eddie asked.

Gareth’s family owned it, and he used to eat there two or three times a week while they were in college, usually working off his bill in the kitchen doing dishes after.

He hadn’t been in a couple months, work keeping him busy and his budget being pretty tight when he moved into a studio apartment by himself.

He had enough to treat himself tonight though.

“The one on Milwaukee? Yeah. One of my favorite places to get devolay,” Steve sounded surprised that he knew it.

“You won’t believe this, but the friend I was trying to text when I got you, his family owns that place.”

“No way! Then we have to. We owe it to the guy who has almost my exact phone number,” Steve responded.

“Meet you there at seven?” Eddie asked, suddenly more nervous.

“Seven sounds good.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Steve giggled. Eddie fell in love.

“We should probably hang up.”

“Should we?” Eddie asked, not wanting to stop talking to him yet.

“Yes, I have to do my hair. Gotta impress the guy who drops his phone in the sewer and texts strangers about it.”

“He sounds like a loser. Don’t put too much effort in,” Eddie sighed. “But okay. See you at seven.”

“See you then.”

They both stayed on the line for a minute.

“Okay. For real. Bye,” Steve laughed.

“Bye, Stevie.”

He hung up before he could convince himself to talk to him for the rest of the afternoon.

He breathed out a loud sigh, smiling as he realized he had a date.

He dialed Gareth’s real number immediately.

“Gareth, I have a date!”

“What is this number, Eddie?”

“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sewers. Not important. I have a date!”

“Jesus Christ. Okay. Come over then.”

—-----------------------------------

Gareth had been his pre-date hype man since high school, though he wasn’t very good at it.

Mostly he calmed Eddie’s nerves and helped make sure his hair didn’t look like he just woke up, which was often its unfortunate state of being.

“So, you don’t know this guy,” Gareth said from his bed.

“No.”

“And you talked for like two seconds and decided you’re in love with him,” he continued.

“Yes.”

“And you think this is totally normal and sane?”

“I didn’t say that. But we just…I dunno. We clicked. I haven’t been that at ease with someone in a long time. It felt natural,” Eddie fell back on his bed, starfishing so his arm and leg hit Gareth’s legs.

“Dude, I’m not discouraging it. I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it isn’t as easy when you meet,” Gareth said softly.

“Yeah, thanks. I think it’ll be okay, though.”

“Alright. Tell babcia I’m coming by tomorrow for lunch.”

Eddie sat up and gave Gareth a quick hug.

“Thanks Gare Bear!”

—-------------------------------------------

He arrived 20 minutes early so he could sneak in the back to say hi to Gareth’s grandmother, who still insisted on getting her hands on the food every day for a couple of hours despite being nearly 80 years old.

“Babcia!”

“Eddie! My kochany! You forget to visit and I forget what you look like!” she rushed over, flour and oil stains all over her apron.

He should have kept some distance so his shirt didn’t get ruined, but he ignored the part of his brain telling him to look perfect for his date so he could get a hug.

“You know I have to watch my money,” he said against her shoulder.

“And you know I feed you for free if you clean up after yourself. No excuse,” she pulled away and looked him over. “You look handsome. Why?”

Eddie put his hands on his hips.

“What? Don’t I always look handsome?”

“Of course, but this is different. Your hair is smooth and you smell like the perfume store,” she smirked. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Or a someone?”

“It’s a boy. We’ve never met in person, so I wanted to make a good first impression,” he admitted.

“Oh! How lovely! What’s his name?” She was back to kneading dough, but kept her eyes on him.

“Steve. He actually has been here before, loves the devolay?”

Babcia froze.

“Steve? Oh goodness.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands, muttering under her breath about something.

Eddie’s heart sank. Babcia didn’t seem happy about this.

“What’s wrong? You know him?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Is he not a good guy? Has he been mean to you? I’ll call and cancel right now,” he insisted, reaching for his phone in his pocket.

“No, no. Nothing like that. He is a very sweet boy. He got broken up with in this restaurant a few months back. Tore me to pieces. He just sat here for hours crying. I moved him to a corner booth for his privacy and he left me a $100 tip and ever since then when he comes in I make sure to give him as many szarlotka as he wants.” She touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You be good to him. He has a nice heart.”

Eddie’s mind raced.

Why had Steve agreed to come here for a date if this is where he’d been broken up with? Why did he even bother coming back if it held such bad memories?

What if he didn’t see this as a date?

The front door chimed and he heard the employee at the front welcome someone.

“He will be good for you, drogi.”

Eddie nodded before making his way to the front, stopping in his tracks when he saw the most beautiful man he’d ever seen standing at the podium, talking to the employee with a smile.

“That’s him,” Babcia said from behind him. “Go get him.”

She shoved him forward, nearly making him trip, which caught the attention of Steve.

He looked over with a curious smile, and then realization seemed to hit him.

“Steve?” Eddie managed to ask, loud enough to be heard over the few full tables in the restaurant.

“Eddie?” he asked back, hesitantly moving towards him.

“I, um,” Eddie started, then cleared his throat. “I usually sit by the window, if that’s okay?”

“That’s perfect,” Steve nodded.

It was cliche, like the room around them closed into just them existing together, like the stars had aligned exactly right for this moment to happen.

They sat down at the table Eddie usually sat at, staring across the table at each other in slight awe.

Eddie really hoped that Steve was having the same feelings he was.

But one thing was stopping Eddie from being completely enraptured.

“Is this a date?” he asked suddenly.

“What?” Steve seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah. I’d like it to be. I thought it was.”

Eddie nodded once, but remained quiet, thinking.

“Oh God, it wasn’t, was it? You were just being nice. What is it with this restaurant? If I didn’t love the food so much or babcia, I would never step foot here again, I swear-”

Eddie put his hand on Steve’s to calm him down, frown on his face.

“Woah. What?”

“I just. I don’t have the best history with dates here and I guess I didn’t learn the first time something bad happened, and now I’m being too much too fast again in this place and-”

Eddie pulled Steve’s hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles.

“Stevie, calm down. This is a date. I’ll have as many dates here as you want to to get rid of whatever negative stuff you associate with this place. Babcia would hate that I ruined this place for you,” he said quietly.

Steve seemed to relax at his words.

And if you wanna tell me about what happened, you can. If it’ll help,” Eddie offered.

Before Steve could reply, Gareth’s cousin, Ben, came to take their order.

It was a quick order, both knowing exactly what they wanted, and then Steve looked back at him.

“It’s just. My last girlfriend, who I was with for almost three years, dumped me here. It was kind of out of the blue for me, and I had a really hard time that night.”

Eddie felt his heart break.

How could someone do that to Steve? He didn’t need to know him better to know that he didn’t deserve that, especially not if babcia had taken him under her wing so quickly.

“She must be awful to have let you go like that,” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his, resisting the urge to go to his side of the table and hold him.

Steve shrugged and looked down at their hands.

“I mean, I should have known. She was never much for romance or spending time together that didn’t involve work or school. I was looking at engagement rings and she was looking at apartments to get away from me. I was just…really blinded by what I thought was love,” Steve smiled sadly at him.

“It wasn’t?”

“Well, it may have been a type of love. It was more comfort than anything. She was kind of all I had for the first year we were together, and I think I just ignored how unhealthy that was for both of us. And then I met Robin in college, and she was like the opposite of Nancy in every way. A few months before Nancy broke up with me, I told her that Robin’s parents kicked her out when she came out to them and that she needed a place to stay until we graduated. She agreed, then never made any attempt at getting to know her. And I didn’t read into it, Nancy isn’t like, super talkative with people she isn’t already close with, and Robin just kinda stayed to herself when Nancy was home.” Steve took a shaky breath. “But it turns out she didn’t bother getting to know her because she already knew she was gonna break up with me and leave the apartment to me and Robin, so.she just. Didn’t bother. Robin warned me, but I didn’t listen.”

Eddie wanted to cry.

Steve’s voice was full of pain, but not in a way that told him he still loved her, or still hoped they would get back together. More that she broke a part of him that he still hadn’t been able to fix no matter how hard he tried or wanted to.

“Was she jealous?” Eddie asked, trying so hard to understand what could have happened.

“I dunno. I mean, Robin’s a lesbian, and I definitely never had feelings for her anyway. Nancy was always so sure of herself, I can’t imagine she’d be jealous.”

“It sounds like she didn’t appreciate you very much.”

“What do you mean?” Steve didn’t sound mad, just curious.

“Well, she didn’t even make an effort to get to know your best friend, right? And it sounds like she was too busy focusing on her future to even think about what you looked like in it, and instead of trying to plan it with you, she made a future for her. She sounds a bit selfish,” Eddie shrugged.

Instead of being upset, Steve laughed.

God, Eddie loved that laugh.

“Sorry, it’s just that you sound exactly like Robin. You’d probably be two peas in a pod.”

“Tell me about her,” Eddie genuinely wanted to know more about the person who kept Steve going.

Their food arrived in the middle of the story of how Steve and Robin met, but it didn’t stop him from continuing.

Eddie listened with a fond smile, filling in Steve’s gaps of silence as he chewed a bite of food with questions or something related to what he’d been talking about.

It was easy.

It was fun.

Halfway through the meal, Steve’s foot rested against one of his and it felt like electricity shooting through his bones.

Eddie told him about Gareth, and his family who had pretty much adopted him when they both moved here from a small town in Indiana. He talked about his uncle who raised him for most of his life, who visited every Christmas despite being on a really tight budget.

Time passed quickly, but not at all.

They hadn’t realized how long they’d been sitting there until babcia came out without her apron to hand deliver an apple tart.

“You boys enjoy. I’ll see you both soon!” she said as she smacked a kiss on top of each of their heads.

Both of them blushed, but tried to cover it up with a bite of food.

As they finished, Steve looked outside to see how dark it was, how few people were left walking the streets.

“Guess we should head out,” he muttered, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Would you wanna come to my place? We don’t have to do anything except talk, I promise. I just don’t really want this to end yet,” Eddie suggested.

“Really? I haven’t bored you?” Steve asked, just a hint of self-deprecation in his tone.

Eddie shook his head.

“Not at all. I’d really like to get a chance to love you the way you deserve,” Eddie said.

Steve’s eyes widened.

Eddie should back up, should say something less intense.

But if this ruined it, then at least he said what he was thinking.

“You think you could love me?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.

“I think I already do a little,” Eddie admitted.

Steve blinked at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape.

“I need to kiss you,” he finally said.

“Now? Here?” Eddie smiled.

“Now. Here.”

“I won’t stop you.”

Steve stood from the table and stood in front of Eddie, placing both hands on his cheeks and leaning down.

Their lips brushed in a barely-there kiss, softer than Eddie expected.

Steve stayed there for a moment, eyes closed, and Eddie couldn’t help the words tumbling from him.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

If someone had said it to him, he would think they were just trying to get him into their bed, but that wasn’t the case here and he hoped Steve knew that.

“People used to call me a charmer, but I don’t think I’m half as good at it as you,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting against Eddie’s lips.

“Just honest.”

“Take me home,” Steve said, opening his eyes and staring at Eddie, his eyes glowing with something close to love.

—-------------------------------------

They stayed up all night, never doing more than kissing and mapping out patterns on each others’ skin.

They talked about everything, even the painful parts of life, even the parts that they hadn’t shared with anyone else.

It didn’t make any sense that someone who had been a stranger not even 24 hours ago could already mean so much.

When the sun started to shine through the curtains of Eddie’s apartment, Steve sighed and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.

“I have to go to work,” though he burrowed his entire body further into the bed and Eddie’s side.

“You could call in sick,” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.

“Robin would kill me.”

He and Robin worked together as team teachers at an elementary school. When one of them missed, it left the other with 34 kids alone.

Plus, Steve loved his job, worked hard to be a teacher, and hated missing a day if he didn’t need to.

“Maybe you could bring Robin here after work? I can make dinner?” Eddie’s job was pretty easy, marketing for an Indie record label based out of New York remotely really kept him busy for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time was spent writing his own music.

Steve sat up and looked down at him, his hair ruffled from Eddie running his fingers through it for the last eight hours.

“You’d wanna meet Robin?”

“Yeah, if you want me to. She sounds like fun.”

Steve started crying.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Good job, Munson, already ruined something good,” Eddie was reaching for a tissue from his bedside table.

“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional. And just. It means a lot that you’d wanna meet her,” Steve said between gasps for air as he continued to cry.

“Of course I do. I could even invite Gareth over, too, if you want. He won’t believe that our date went well,” Eddie joked, brushing the tears away from Steve’s cheeks.

“I’d love to meet him,” Steve said, sniffling.

“When can you guys get here?”

“Usually we’re done by four, but sometimes we stay later to finish grading stuff. Maybe we should say six?”

“Got it. Any allergies?”

“Robin is allergic to shellfish. She says she is. I think she just doesn’t like them,” Steve rolled his eyes.

“No shellfish, got it. Any preferences, my love?”

Steve blushed at the term of endearment, looking down before he leaned in to kiss Eddie softly.

“Anything you make will be great.”

“You wanna borrow some clothes for work?” Eddie asked.

“Do you have any business casual stuff?”

Eddie gagged.

“Unfortunately, it’s required for the job sometimes. Far left of the closet should have something,” he nodded towards the small closet by the bathroom.

Eddie watched as Steve walked over and picked out his only pair of khaki pants and a navy button down. Steve looked back at him and winked before he nodded towards the bathroom.

“Could use some help working the shower if you’re willing to,” he smirked.

Eddie jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the way Steve was laughing.

“The hot water is tricky sometimes. I should probably get in there too to make sure it stays hot,” Eddie said as he stripped off his pants.

“Definitely. Wouldn’t want me to get cold,” Steve put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Kiss me?”

Eddie leaned in to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue brush along his lips just to get a taste.

“Okay?” Eddie checked in.

“Yeah. You remember what you said last night? About loving me like I deserve?”

Eddie nodded.

“I want you to. And I want to love you back.”

“I think we can arrange that.”

[melminli]

My Girl

pairing: maki zen'in x fem. reader

summery - being in love with your best friend can be difficult sometimes, maybe even more when you're both girls.

word count: 1.8k

contains: wlw, grumpy black cat x happy golden retriever trope, fluff, angst, internalized homophobia, comfort, modern au

She had been an outsider since the day she was born. Someone who didn't belong, someone who didn't conform to the norm. Her family made her feel that way since the day she was born, and so she grew up in a pretty pessimistic world. She got used to her situation. Well, she kinda had to. It wasn't a hard pill to swallow since she didn't know any different and was used to dealing with the situation. Her parents might rather have one strong boy than two weak girls, and she might rather have other parents. Guess not everyone can have what they want.

Maki watched you with a longing look while you were fooling around with inumaki at some store window a little further away. You smiled as you excitedly pointed your finger at various objects and pulled the arm of the boy next to you to draw his attention abruptly to something else every now and then.

After a while, she turned her eyes away from you in shame, having been watching your figure a little too closely and paying a little too much attention to your various facial expressions.

You were a new reason for Maki to feel like an outsider in this world, and this time, it scared her a little because it wasn't the situation she was used to. If she knew that I think about her like that, it would certainly make her sad. She thought to herself and then sighed. I should just not think about her, maybe not think at all.

"They spend a lot of time in front of that store, I'm afraid we won't be able to get them out once they go in." Yuuta laughed next to her while scratching his head a little worriedly. His eyes then wandered to the sign again. "I didn't realize those two were so into this sanrio stuff."

Maki looked at him out of the corner of her eye before adjusting her glasses. "She's liked sweet stuff ever since I've known her, whether it's stuffed animals or food. Inumaki says it's not really his thing, and he just doesn't mind going along with her, but I think he secretly likes all that stuff, too."

Yeah, from Yuuta's observations, that explanation seemed accurate. "That stuff doesn't really seem to be your thing, though, and yet you didn't object when she said she wanted to visit this store. If it's one of us who asks you to hang out, you're never in the mood." He playfully referred to himself and the other boys.

She shrugged her shoulders uninterestedly. "That's because I don't like you guys. Don't want to waste my time." Maki said without hesitation and sent an arrow into Yuuta's heart. "Although well, I guess you're not entirely wrong. Sweet stuff isn't really my thing, I guess. But that's okay, I don't mind. Besides, we sometimes do things I like as well."

Yuuta recovered and raised an eyebrow with interest. "Yeah? Like what?"

The time a few weeks ago were you two were at the movies together came to her mind. "We watched a horror movie a while ago." She said, grinning slightly at the memory.

The boy looked a little irritated. He knew that you were quite the scaredy cat, especially when it came to jumpscares. "Really? That doesn't sound like her."

Maki shrugged her shoulders. "I was surprised too when she offered to go with me after I mentioned that I wanted to see this new movie coming out." She admitted. "It was kind of cute though, she hardly dared to take her hands off her face. I don't know what made her do that to herself. I really can't figure out what's going on in her head sometimes."

Yuuta had to stop himself from sighing. It's so obvious, though. "Yeah, it really is a great mystery....I also want to emphasize again that I think it's really mean of you how you prefer her to all of us." The boy pouted slightly. I mean, I understand why, but she still doesn't have to say it like that.

"It's different with her." She said directly as her eyes turned back to your figure, who finally decided to storm into the store and waved excitedly to her to signal it. "...she's my best friend."

The black-haired boy looked somewhat doubtful at his friend, who made her way over to you. "...sure." He said with narrowed eyes and followed her. Me when I'm lying.

Green eyes looked down at the small plush toy pendant in her hand and stroked her finger through the fabric. What was the name of that thing again...was it Kuromi? Maki asked herself inwardly, not knowing exactly what kind of animal it was supposed to represent as she inspected it from different angles. It doesn't matter, you bought it for her the other day from this store you went to. She didn't remember what yours was called, but you had the pink version or whatever.

"Hey Maki, are you ready to go? Sorry if you had to wait a while, Jun was holding me up a bit. I mean, I swear to god she's really cute but also so pushy sometimes." You sighed and set off as she got up from her seat on the bench. It had become routine for the two of you to go to the café near the school building every Tuesday since you both got out early and liked to go for drinks together.

"That's all right. You always write me a hundred messages if you're being really late." She teased you and knew that it always secretly bothered you that you were always runnung somewhat late since you just didn't really have a good sense of time.

You avoided her gaze. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." You just replied and stopped on the sidewalk when you both reached the red light.

Maki didn't even try to stifle her grin. "So, which one was Jun again?" She asked you because she couldn't always put a name to the stories you told her.

"She's the one who always asks me what kind of guys I like so she can link me to one of her friends." You said a little annoyed at the memory and walked across the intersection as the light changed to green. "I don't know what her problem is, to be honest, like how about just someone who's halfway a decent person, huh? From what she told me about her boyfriend, I doubt she knows anyone like that."

Maki just looked to the side a little uncomfortably at the subject. I shouldn't have asked, ugh. She didn't like being reminded of how you could probably have something like a boyfriend someday. Even though you hated men and were always ranting about them, it somehow seemed like that in the end, the pretty girls with a sweet personality like you would end up with some weird asshole.

She tried to shake the thought out of her mind as she held the door open for you. No, not even over my dead body.

That sounded like a nightmare. She would never let something like that happen. Maki continued to be a little lost in thought as you ordered for the two of you (a sweet iced coffee and a hot black coffe with sugar), and when a good seat became available, you just told her to sit there quickly while you waited for the drinks.

"Here you go." You said and sat down in front of her after placing the two cups on the table. As you took a sip of your sweet coffee, you noticed something unusual. "Huh? Look." You said, pointing to your cup. "Someone has written down their number."

Both of your eyes turned to the counter where a barista guy waved charmingly at you. "...hey, do you think he's attractive?" You asked playfully after overcoming your confusion.

Maki turned her slightly annoyed gaze to you. "No, not really." She answered you curtly and couldn't help but think of more scenarios in her head. First, that girl from your class who wanted to set you up with some guy, now some guy who came up to you out of nowhere.

She didn't want to think about it - she never wanted to, which is why she always blocked it out. You rarely talked to her about your love life, mainly because no one really interested you, and that was enough for Maki not to worry about...this stuff. But if others were interested in you like today...who's to say you wouldn't want to try it out at some point?

"Really? He's kinda hot, though." You replied, slightly surprised, as you played with your straw. "What's your type, then?"

"I like them more cute." She replied bluntly.

You blinked and looked around as if you were casually asking. "Cute? Like cute guys?"

This time, she didn't hesitate. Not like all the other times, because even if Maki might have many regrets in her life, she didn't want to put seeing you with some boy on that list. "No, more like cute girls."

It might be that the whole world would reject her for it, and she would forever remain an outsider, but maybe that didn't even matter. As long as she felt like she belonged by your side, the world and whoever else could reject her as much as they wanted, because how happy could such a world really make her?

Maki couldn't control everything, even if she might have liked it that way sometimes, but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Yes, this isn't too bad. That's what she thought when she felt her heart warm up by just looking at you.

Maybe I can have a little control, though. Over this. Maki took your hand in hers as a slight blush spread across her cheeks the moment your eyes met. " - like you. I like cute girls like you."

[fernshawart]

Some of you guys seriously need to think of ableism as something other than "oh you can't say this slur" or "my ADHD made me do it you can't be mad at me :("

Yes, these are exemples of ableism. No, that's not the worst thing that can happen with ableism.

Some people want to feel oppressed so bad they don't understand what the fear of actual oppression feels like.

Two years ago, I was about to go see my aunt for a comic festival and I took the train for the first time in my own. That day was a pretty normal one for me. I took my favorite bag for the trip, my walking cane because I need it to walk around and sunglasses because it was very sunny outside.

This was my first ever trip with train stations and I was struggling to find the right train so I went to see the lady whose job is to help passengers. Walked up to her and just asked her "hey, can you tell me where the station number 6 is ? I can't find it."

Guess what she did.

That woman, WITHOUT A WARNING, grabbed my fucking arm and dragged me for several hundred feed before I managed to get back to my senses, get over my fear and rip my arm off her hand and ask her "Can't you just tell me where it is ?!"

At this moment the lady looked at me, blinked like she was in a fucking cartoon, said "oh it's over there" and left. She didn't say sorry. She didn't give me an explanation. She just dragged me like a ragdoll and left me behind. It took me a good thirty minutes to recover from the interaction, especially the pain it gave me in my hip and understand what the hell had just happened. And then I got it. She thought i was BLIND.

That interaction was already traumatic enough for me, someone who could perfectly see, but can you even imagine how an actual blind person would've freaked out ?! People do that all the time thinking they're "helping". You're not helping. You're just terrorizing and hurting us.

Often I told that story saying "haha, a bit funny right ?", But I think it's my way of coping with the fear that it may happen again. I've never put back sunglasses in public after this event. And I don't think I can bring myself to do so again. Because I'm scared that someone may take me away and hurt me again.

This is what ableism looks like when it's endangering people.

[variations-on-a-flat]

Never thought I'd be describing any action by one Caleb Widogast as healthy but here we are

[hunniebunnietarot]

"When I First Saw You"

First of all, I apologize for the delay on this reading:( I've been so unmotivated and busy, but I got it up FINALLY! If you can please tell me what you think of this reading or if you have any other suggestions. Enjoy!

Tarot Masterlist

~~~

How?

I’m seeing this as a situation where you are in need of assistance because of something(or someone) that is bothering you. This could involve an older woman that is bothering you and your person steps in to help before it gets too far. It won’t be anything too serious, just a misunderstanding between you and this older lady, where she is the aggressor. This might take place in a work environment where your manager will be antagonizing you and they step in simply because they can’t stand to see someone be mistreated. It is also possible that your future spouse won’t step in to help you in this conflict. This could be the cause because they see how well you can handle yourself, so they kind of hesitate but still keep an eye out so that nothing goes too far. Now, this conflict could be a long time coming as you have bottled up your emotions thus far through all of the mistreatment and unfairness. The saying “The straw that broke the camel’s back” comes to mind.

Also, for very few of you this could be a misunderstanding between you and your fs in the first meeting.

When?

This is just a confirmation of everything said before. You are feeling trapped in a situation with someone else and are being led to take action. You probably gave this person the benefit of the doubt so many times, but something just finally snapped. With that being said the months that are being highlighted here are November, March, and June.

How?

You might relocate due to a new job opportunity. I see you kind of getting back on your feet after some kind of loss. Specifically I feel like you’ll be moving somewhere that is known for its diversity. You will be wanting to nurture yourself after this hard time in your life, being held down by circumstances for so long. More specifically you could be going somewhere that is good for your spiritual/physical health, such as: a spiritual retreat, a temple, a spa, a resort etc. You could run into this person there. You will actually end up making friends with this person at first because you two may relate in some ways regarding your spiritual journey. You both could have a history of depression or anxiety, come from similar backgrounds, or be of the same sex.

When?

You will definitely be coming out of a bad period of (possible) depression. The good news though, is that you will absolutely be thriving when this person enters your life. Although you may be a bit unstable still, trying to find your footing, you’ll be well on your way. For extra confirmation: you may be the kind of person that has that extreme view of having to completely uproot your life to “start over”. Some of the people in this pile may be recovering addicts and learning to trust themselves again. Months December, October and August are highlighted here.

How?

I think a friend will set you and your person up on a blind date. They might think that you work too hard even though you’re already successful. Around the time this happens you may express to them wanting to be in a relationship, but never actually taking action to do so. So they take it into their hands and offer their help, whether you want it or not (I see them as kind of pushy and excitable). Your friend reminds me of Elle Woods from ‘Legally Blonde’. This may be a blind date or them just dragging you out of your comfort zone to have fun out and about. I also want to point out that your future spouse could be someone that you already know, meaning they would have already been aware of you(and vice versa) because of mutual friends. You may just know or recognize them in passing.

When?

Again, you will be experiencing a time of financial abundance. You will be guided to do something outside of your normal routine by a friend. You could be a workaholic and have one of those routines where you only go to work and then straight back home(same lol), so they suggest something different. The Summer months are highlighted in your spread: August, June and July.

How?

You will meet your future spouse through a family member, I think it will be someone from your father’s side of the family. It could be an emotional event, such as a wedding of one of your family members, and your person happens to be one of their guests. This means that they could be a friend of your family or the person they will get married to. Whatever this event is could take place in a different city, state, or even country then where you are on a daily basis(destination wedding). You could not get along with some of your family and have worries about your person being told bad things about you(really random but it's here). 

When?

The months present are April, November, and September. This time of your life will be quite restless feeling. You could be stuck in a “I miss those days” kind of mentality because not much will be working out for you when this person comes into your life. You are not satisfied with your circumstances.

~~~

More coming soon, I promise lol

[blueicequeen19]

7 Minutes

Cheating, unprotected sex, but sweet fluff also

It was the night before graduation and the whole island of seniors were celebrating. Pogues and Kooks. For some reason tonight, it didn't seem to matter. Kooks offered the giant beach house for the party and the Pogues brought the good stuff. Now everyone was buzzed and playing games or hooking up in random places with a door.

My boyfriend was sitting next to me on the floor but another girl had most of his attention the entire night. When a game of spin the bottle started, I was too pissed off and buzzed to care. I wanted to kiss someone else just to piss him off. But the game quickly became seven minutes in heaven and now I was nervous. The nervous energy quickly evaporated when my boyfriend ended up in the closet with a different girl and it was clear that something had happened by how red her face was and how proud he was.

"It's just a game, babe. It doesn't mean anything. I wouldn't be mad if you got picked." He said when he sat back down beside me and leaned in for a kiss. I could smell her perfume on him and he had the faintest bit of lip gloss on his lips. Her shirt was also inside out. I leaned away from him and focused on the game again.

"Don't worry, darlin', I'll help you get him back." I looked up to meet the beaming blue eyes of the blonde Pogue across from us.

"Shut it, Maybank." My boyfriend snapped, the first real bit of attention I've earned all night. Now I was curious.

The blonde across from me had joked and flirted with every girl all night. He had a killer smile and a goofy sense of humor but he was nice. He carried the auror that he was good to people that were good to him but he didn't take any shit. I liked that he was like that. He wasn't pretending for everyone else. He was himself.

I hadn't realized I was zoning out until the room erupted in hoots and hollers and I realized that the bottle had landed on me. Maybank and I locked eyes and he motioned me to him with two fingers. I gulped but the sight of that girl with her shirt inside out had me jumping to my feet and taking his hand before leading him to the closet. I knew my boyfriend would be pissed but I didn't care. If he didn't care, then I didn't either.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He cupped my face, searching for any sign of hesitation but there wasn't any. I pushed against his chest until his back met the wall and I slammed my mouth against his. He didn't hold back from kissing me. His hand slid into my hair and his head turned to deepen the kiss and I felt things deep in my core that I'd never felt before. No one had ever kissed me like this. It was like someone had lit me on fire and I couldn't stop. My hands slid under his shirt and he palmed my breasts over my dress, both of us swallowing each others moans. I pressed my body against his and grinded against his erection, the throbbing between my legs making me whimper with need.

"More." I choked out, feeling him suddenly turn us so my back was against the wall and he hiked one of my legs up over his hip. His hand tightened on the back of my knee as he grinded against me, his cock hitting just right while our lips never separated.

"More. I need more." I groaned. He moaned against my lips, tugging the front of my dress down and using his free hand to pinch and pull my nipples. He tore himself away from my mouth and quickly sucked on each of my nipples, his hand palming my pussy over my dress.

"God, you're so wet. You're practically dripping." He rasped, coming up to kiss me again as his hand slid under my dress to feel me.

"More. I need you to make me cum. Please." I begged, reaching down and unbuttoning his shorts. I could see his eyes widen even in the dark but he quickly recovered, lifting my dress and making me bite down on the material while he quickly shoved my panties down my legs. I should make him wear a condom but I'm too far gone to care.

"Tell me you want me to fuck you. Say it." He whispers, suddenly pressing his cock against my clit, the heat from it making me buck against him. I nod eagerly, mumbling a desperate please around the fabric of my dress and he curses, lifting my leg up higher and quickly easing the tip inside me. That's all it takes and I cum harder than I ever have in my life. Just the sensation of him filling me sent me spiraling over the edge so hard that I feel the material rip in my mouth and my legs nearly give out. He plasters his body against mine, cursing softly against my neck as he gets fully seated inside me. He hadn't even thrusted yet when someone bangs on the door.

"Times up!" Someone shouts and I gasp, quickly shoving him away as I realize the severity of what I've just done.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." He tries to soothe me as he tucks himself away, not even complaining that he didn't get his as I quickly right myself in the dark. I could still feel him inside me. He was bigger than my boyfriend. I shove past him, feeling him bend down for a moment before I throw the door open and try to look as unbothered as I can. Another couple pushes past us but my boyfriend is shooting daggers at me as I fight to walk back over to him with unsteady legs.

"What the fuck was that about?" He hisses at me as soon as I sit down. I can't answer because I quickly realize that I never pulled my panties back on. I was bare under my dress. My eyes quickly meet the blondes across from me and I know he knows. His lips twitch into a slight smirk before he turns his attention to the guy on his left.

"What was what about? It was nothing." I snark back to him, squeezing my legs together and tucking them underneath me. I felt dirty. And exposed. I was sitting next to my boyfriend soaked in my own cum after having another mans bare cock inside me.

"It sure doesn't seem like nothing. You seem a little guilty." He growls in my ear. I look over at the girl with her shirt still inside out and my gut twists when I see that she's looking at my boyfriend, practcially begging for a scrap of attention. I turn back to him, my rage boiling over.

"You have lip gloss on your face." I snap, savoring the way his expression falls before I jump to my feet and disappear upstairs. I hear him come after me but I'm quickly able to get lost in the crowd. I end up on the third floor, fighting to catch my breath when I duck inside a coat closet.

The moments in the previous closet crash into me, overwhelmingly heating my body and making me whimper in need. I’m suddenly aware I don’t even know his first name. Just his last name. Maybank.

Stomping in the hallway has me holding my breath until it fades away. Just when I released my breath I was holding, the door opens and someone pushes inside, crowding me with the heat of their body and scaring me half to death.

“There you are. Why’d you run off? What did he say to you? Do you want me to—,” I cut him off with a fierce kiss, gripping the long blonde hair at the nape of his neck and forcing him against the door. His kiss is just as hungry once again, his hands immediately finding the flesh of my bare ass with a harsh squeeze.

“Fuck, I’m so hard for you.” He rasps, making me gasp when he picks me up and shoves my back against the opposite wall of the closet. His fingers find my wet slit from behind, driving me further crazy with need.

“Please give it to me. Don’t make me wait.” I beg, making him chuckle against my lips even as he sits me back down and lowers his shorts.

“Sit down.” I instruct, pulling my dress over my head and dropping it to the floor. He hesitates for a moment and I know he’s smirking at me but I’m past caring or teasing. I feel him lower himself to the floor then he’s pulling me onto his lap.

“Oh.” His warm mouth attaches to my nipple just as he guides his thick length to my entrance. I sink down, taking no time to adjust and we both moan loudly in pure bliss. His warm callused hands roam every inch of my body as I begin to ride him, eager to make him feel as good as he did me.

“You feel fucking amazing. Jesus.” He pants breathlessly, thrusting his hips to meet my movements. My head falls back limp on my shoulders as his sinful mouth latches on to my throat, his hands stroking the fire of my body as we move.

“I’m gonna cum.” I breathe, my nails biting into his shoulders as I feel my walls clamping down on him so hard I practically force him back out. He growls, biting my throat and making me squeal as his arms band around me.

“Yes. Cum for me.” His low growl in my ear sends me over the edge and I kiss him hard to silence my cries. I tremble against him, all but collapsing against his chest. I can taste his sweat on his lips as I come back down to my limp body and our movements grow harsher.

“I’m going to cum. Where do you want it?” He groans, placing his sweaty forehead against mine.

“Tell me when and I’ll finish you with my mouth. I want to taste you.” I whisper, kissing his lips just as he moans low and sexy again.

“Okay, now.” I lift up and scoot back so I can drop down and take him as deep as I’m able down my throat. His hands grip my hair as he cums with a moan, thrusting up into my mouth as he pants with each breath. I swallow eagerly, loving the taste of both of us so much that I continue to bob my up and down with a muffled moan. His cock stays hard in my mouth and I use my hand to stroke what I can’t take in. The closet fills with the sounds of the sloppy head and his breathy moans.

“Shit, you’re gonna make me cum again.” He practically whines, his hand slapping against the wall like he needs something to hang on to. I use my free hand to cup his balls, massaging the tender flesh with my thumb until his body tightens and his back bows off the wall and I know he’s there.

“Oh god oh god oh god oh god—.” I swear I see his eyes roll back even in the dark as he cums again down my throat, his body trembling as he slowly starts to come back down. I finally release him from my mouth and he pulls me into his lap, kissing me sweetly as we both try to catch our breath. It was starting to get hot in here.

“We’re even.” I tease, kissing along the stubble on his jaw and he chuckles, his hands palming my ass.

“You definitely came more than twice.” He jokes, just as I bite him the way he did me. He groans, his cock twitching beneath me.

“I don’t even know your name and you’ve been inside me twice.” I whisper, pulling back to look at him. My eyes had finally adjusted to the dark and I could make out most of his handsome features.

“Do you make it a point to seduce men before learning their names?” He brushes his hair from his eyes, giving me a smug smirk. He lifts my hips, sinking his hardening cock back inside me.

“That’s three by the way.” He rasps, twitching inside me and touching deep. I giggle.

“Only ones that look like you.” I whisper, leaning in to kiss him again. I wasn’t ready for this to be over and our happy post sex bubble to burst. I’d never felt more alive. “Kiss like you.” My lips trail over his neck and he shudders. “Taste like you.” I bite his shoulder next, loving the way he responded to me with his hands tightening on my body.

“JJ.” He breathes, grabbing my chin and forcing me to face him. “My name is JJ. And even though I am a Pogue and you are a Kook, I haven’t been able to look at anyone else since you walked into the room. So yes, my name is JJ Maybank and I want to keep hearing you say my name.” His gruff voice has my heart skipping a beat and butterflies taking flight deep in my belly.

“JJ.” I whisper, slamming my lips to his just as a light shines on naked forms as the closet door is yanked open.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Waiting | Dream Reaction #13

Reaction: when their gf wants to save sex for marriage

Genre: Um mostly fluff

Warnings: slightly suggestive, making out in Jeno's, and mentions of sex (but nothing graphic at all)

Word Count: ~2.9k

Author's Note: I feel like it's been so long since I wrote a Dream reaction. The following scenario was a request sent by someone. To be honest, I was a bit hesitant about doing it because I know this concept isn't that popular today. However, it is a personal value I hold and I'm not trying to impose it on those who have different opinions. But it is something I've always secretly wanted to write about. So here you go, I hope you like it ^ ^

~ ~ ~

mark

After being under the weather for weeks now, Mark thought it was time to get you checked up. That was how you found yourself sitting in a pristine white room on a Monday morning. You scanned the room anxiously, nervously drumming your fingers against the chair’s armrest. However, the nerves you were feeling calmed down a little when Mark placed his hand on top of yours.

Finally the door creaked open, and the doctor exchanged polite greetings with the two of you. Taking a seat at her computer, the doctor ran through the customary procedure of inquiring about your symptoms and any recent changes in lifestyle.

“Have you two been sexually active recently?” the doctor asked, causing a slight shift in the atmosphere. 

Heat instantly rose to your cheeks as you turned to your boyfriend with a surprised glance. 

“Oh—no, we haven’t even…” Your voice trailed off, almost as if you were too flustered to finish your sentence.

The doctor nodded understandingly and moved on to the next question. Once the check-up was finished, she just advised you to get some more rest and take some time off work to recover.

Back in the car, you and Mark burst into awkward laughter, finding humor in the unexpected nature of that encounter.

“I was so embarrassed,” you cried, covering your face, “I thought I was going to die back there.”

Mark laughed along, “Yeah me too. I don’t know why I was so surprised when she asked us that.”

A brief silence hung in the air as Mark steadied his hand on the wheel, and you gazed out of the car window. Although you believed you handled the situation reasonably, some more serious thoughts lingered in your mind. Even though it’s only been a few months since you two started dating, the doctor’s question made you realize that you hadn’t discussed the subject before.

“Speaking of though,” you said, broaching the topic cautiously. “I actually want to save sex for marriage.”

You were already bracing yourself for a negative reaction when Mark didn’t respond right away. But then he shrugged nonchalantly and said, “Okay.”

“Really?” You stared at him wide-eyed. “You’re okay with it?”

Mark nodded thoughtfully, “I mean, I can’t say it’s going to be easy. But if waiting is important to you, then it’s important to me too.”

A wave of relief washed over you, comforted now that this conversation went a lot smoother than you had anticipated. 

“Thank you, I really appreciate that,” you said, a smile lighting up your face.

Mark reached over to squeeze your hand. “No problem, babe.”

In his mind, it really wasn’t a big deal. He definitely planned on marrying you someday, so he saw it as something to look forward to in your future together.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

renjun 

He was the only one to actually bring up the subject first. Although it wasn’t something he had greatly dwelled on beforehand. After being together for a few months, your relationship had proven to be relatively stable. However when it came to physical intimacy, the two of you never progressed beyond making out. While Renjun wasn’t particularly bothered by it, a sense of curiosity lingered in his thoughts.

One evening as you both walked back to your place after a date, he decided to bring it up. “(Y/n), can I ask you something?” he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Curious as to what this was about, you nodded. “Sure. What is it?”

“I just…I was wondering when we’re going to have sex?” He scratched his head, as the words awkwardly tumbled from his lips. You observed his cheeks turn a light shade of pink, and you could also feel your own face warming up coincidentally.

You knew this conversation was inevitable, and you’ve spent a decent amount of time preparing what you would say if it came up. Despite the mental preparation, you were a little wary of what Renjun’s response might be.

“I’m glad you brought that up,” you said, attempting to mask the nervousness in your tone. “The thing is, I want to wait until marriage for sex. I hope that’s okay with you.”

To your surprise, his response came quickly as he nodded in understanding. “That’s no problem for me. I'm happy to wait for you,” he assured.

“I know people might think we’re crazy,” you continued with a sense of unease in your voice.

Before you could finish your thought, Renjun stopped walking to cup your face with his hands. “I don’t care what people think. Our connection and the boundaries we set are more important than anyone else’s opinions,” he said assertively. “I respect your decision, and I’m here with you no matter what.”

As his words sank in, a grateful smile formed on your lips. Sighing, you leaned in to place a sweet peck on his lips. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Renjun chuckled and affectionately patted your head. “Cutie.”

His hands intertwined once more, and the two of you resumed walking back to your apartment. The both of you felt a lot better now that the topic had been addressed.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

jeno

The evening started out normal, really. You were having a movie date in his apartment, which was a regular occurrence for homebodies like yourselves. Yet, an almost suffocating tension lingered in the air, subtly bringing the two of you closer.

Before you could blink, blankets were tossed aside and you found yourself lying on your back as Jeno’s lips devoured yours in a series of passionate kisses. His hands found their way to your waist, and yours wrapped around his neck, drawing him nearer. The room was filled with a soft hum of your chemistry, creating a moment that seemed to make time freeze.

Your conscience started to come back as you felt Jeno’s hands begin to roam your body. Although a part of you didn’t want to stop, you placed a hand on your boyfriend’s chest and gently pulled away. Jeno glanced at you with a puzzled expression. 

Sighing, you sat up. “I’m sorry…it’s just…there’s something I think we should talk about.”

You hated seeing Jeno’s face flicker with confusion. But he nodded for you to continue.

“If…if it’s okay with you, I want to wait until we’re married to have sex,” you admitted, your gaze unwavering. 

Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed in surprise, and it took a bit to process your words before responding. “Oh, okay,” he said in an understanding tone.

You looked at him, searching for any sign of disappointment or frustration. “You’re not upset about it?”

Jeno shook his head, as if it were obvious. “There’s no rush, baby. And I would never want to pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.”

“Thank you for understanding,” you expressed, eyes softening with gratitude. You had expected a different reaction from him, fearing that he might feel restricted. But his kind words put you at ease.

Jeno returned your smile, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “But we can still make out, right?” 

The mischievous sparkle in his eyes made you laugh. “Of course we can,” you chuckled, pulling him down with you.

That was all Jeno needed to hear before his lips were on yours again. The chemistry from before was quickly reignited, and the two of you savored the intimacy of the moment.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

haechan

The two of you were just cuddling in his bedroom, after he had convinced you to take a break from studying. Nestled comfortably in his arms, he traced lazy circles on your back, creating a soothing rhythm to accompany the moment. You snuggled against him happily, enjoying this peaceful moment with your boyfriend.

“(Y/n),” he spoke suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

You glanced up in response. “Hm?”

He stared at you momentarily, tenderly brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. You were curious as to what he had to say, you found it hard to read his expression.

“Have you ever thought about…you know, when you want to have sex?” he asked, deciding it was best to just be straightforward. 

Your cheeks flushed slightly, caught off guard by his question. “Um…well I think I want to wait until marriage,” you admitted.

Biting your lip, you searched Haechan’s expression. The corner of his lips curled into a teasing smile. “In that case, will you, (L/n) (Y/n), marry me?” he asked dramatically.

“Lee Haechan, don’t joke about that,” you scolded, smacking him on the shoulder. The boy laughed, and pulled you closer to him. 

“Okay, okay I’m sorry,” he apologized, giving you a quick kiss on your forehead. “We’ll take things at your pace, baby. You don’t need to worry.”

You murmured a thank you, relaxing into his arms once more. As playful as Haechan was, you were grateful for his understanding. There really wasn’t much to worry about when you were with him.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

jaemin

The gentle glow of the candles sitting on the coffee table created a warm and inviting atmosphere in Jaemin’s living room. You sat snugly on the couch with his cats, waiting for your boyfriend to come back from the kitchen. Although you appeared calm on the outside, as you ran your fingers through Luna’s soft white fur, your mind buzzed with anxious thoughts. You wanted to have a serious conversation with him tonight, but you were a bit apprehensive about it.

Your heart began to race as Jaemin reentered the room, carrying two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. It only took a single glance for him to detect your unease. Placing the cups on the coffee table, he took your hand in his and offered a comforting smile.

“Is there something on your mind, love?” he asked with such tenderness that it almost made you feel guilty.

Exhaling briefly, you tried to return his smile. “Yeah, there’s actually something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

Jaemin’s eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and concern. “I’m listening,” he replied, reaching over to gently scratch under Luna’s chin.

You took another deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “It’s just that we’ve been together for quite some time now, and I know you’ve probably thought about this. But I want to share with you that I’d like for us to save sex for marriage.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Jaemin absorbed your words. Afraid of a negative reaction, you started to back yourself up.

“It’s just that I’ve never done it before, and waiting until I’m married has always been important to me,” you continued, going on a slight tangent. “It has nothing to do with you or an attempt to restrict you.”

The warm smile Jaemin gave you felt like a game changer. He lightly squeezed your hand, his eyes reflecting nothing but understanding. “You don’t have to worry, Princess. I understand completely, and I agree it’s best to wait too.”

Instantly relief began to wash over you. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded, his smile unwavering. “I want our first time to be something we both cherish. And when we’re both ready to take that step, I promise it will be a special moment for both of us.”

His eyes gleamed with a sincerity that made you want to burst into tears. Suddenly, you questioned why you were so nervous in the first place. Every action of Jaemin’s was out of love and kindness from the depths of his heart.

“You’re so sweet,” you murmured, cupping his face with your hands. “I wish all men could be as understanding and caring as you.”

Jaemin’s gaze softened more, and he leaned in to leave a lingering kiss on your lips. “You give me too much credit, princess. As your boyfriend, it’s my job to ensure you always feel respected and loved.”

“Stop it, you’re going to make me cry,” you exclaimed, using your hand to fan your eyes.

He chuckled in response and pulled you closer to cuddle. As you remained in his embrace with his cats nestled around you, you realized how lucky you were to have Jaemin by your side. 

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

chenle

You had been avoiding the subject for as long as possible, mostly because it was a little awkward for you. This was your first serious relationship, and you were sure Chenle’s thought about it before. But he was waiting for you to say something first.

Then came an evening where the two of you were watching a movie at his place. You didn’t exactly plan on talking to him about it that day. It kind of just slipped out.

Neither of you had a specific preference for what to watch, so Chenle randomly selected something on Netflix. However, halfway into the film, a provocative scene began to unfold. A knot tightened in your stomach, and within five seconds, you averted your gaze. Chenle chuckled nervously beside you, wisely opting to change the movie.

Even though something new was being played on the screen, you found yourself making occasional sideway glances toward Chenle. The realization struck that you had been putting off this topic for so long, and the nagging feeling inside you knew it would keep bothering you if you didn’t address it now.

Before your nerves could get the better of you, a heavy exhale escaped you. “Chenle, there’s something I want to talk about.”

His eyebrows raised slightly in concern, sensing the apprehensiveness in your voice. “What’s up?” he asked.

The movie’s ambiance served as a backdrop to your hesitancy. But determined not to chicken out, you closed your eyes and blurted out, “I want to wait until marriage for sex!”

You opened your eyes to see Chenle’s face swiftly transition from a surprised expression to a more composed one. For some reason he thought you were going to break up with him or something. So when he processed your words, in his head he was like “oh, that was it?”

“Okay, that’s cool,” he said, figuring that was all and leaned back on the couch.

His nonchalant response left you looking at him in disbelief. “You’re not upset at all?”

“No, why would I be?” he chuckled, playfully nudging you. “Sex isn’t everything. If waiting until marriage is important to you, then I’m on board with that.”

The way his eyes reflected genuine sincerity, gave you more reassurance. “Gosh, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that,” you exhaled.

He grinned, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He couldn’t resist teasing you a little.

“Well what can I say? You’re dating a great man.”

You rolled your eyes, earning a laugh from him as he pulled you closer. Secretly, you had to agree that Zhong Chenle was indeed a great man.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

jisung

It really wasn’t a big deal to him. But he did think about it from time to time. The both of you were somewhat new to being in a relationship. However, after being together for a few months, Jisung thought the two of you should’ve had sex by now. 

He was almost afraid to ask, because the two of you had never directly discussed sex before. But the desire to know your thoughts was becoming overwhelming, and Jisung knew that he’d explode if he didn’t bring up the subject.

As you lounged together in your living room, Jisung absentmindedly fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie. Occasionally he stole glances at you, who was scrolling through social media posts on your phone. He almost choked when you said something.

“Is there something on your mind, Jisungie?” you asked, without even looking up from your phone. It was as if you could sense he had something to say, solely by his body language. You had to hold back from smiling in amusement as his eyes widened in surprise.

The boy beside you laughed nervously as he sat up a bit straighter. “I—um want to talk about us. You know in terms of…”

“Sex?” you finished his sentence, throwing him off even more. 

Jisung looked at you with a perplexed expression. “Are you a magician? How did you know that was what I wanted to talk about?”

“I don’t know, lucky guess?” you chuckled, casting your phone aside. “It’s also something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about too.”

“Really?!”

You nodded, flattening your hands across the blanket on your lap. “I know we’ve never discussed it before, but I think it’s best to be transparent with you. Is that okay?”

 “Of course,” Jisung answered right away. “I want you to be honest with me, Jagi.”

Lowering your gaze, you took a deep breath before confessing, “Well, um—I want to wait until marriage for, you know, sex.”

It took a moment for you to gather the courage to look at Jisung again. When you did, you were met with an almost relieved expression.

“You know what? I think that’s a great idea,” Jisung said, assuringly. “We can just take our time, with no rush.”

You smiled in response, “I’m glad we’re on the same page then.”

Jisung’s shoulders visibly relaxed and he sank back into the couch. “Ugh, I feel so much better now that we’ve talked about it,” he said, covering his eyes.

Shaking your head with a laugh, you observed the boy in amusement.

“You’re such a dork,” you murmured, snuggling against his hoodie. Jisung smiled and snaked his arm around to hug you.

Jisung was genuinely relieved that you were both honest about your feelings of intimacy. In fact, he felt like having this conversation brought you even closer. Although you were both young, he felt secure knowing your relationship was built on a sense of connection and trust.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

[doberbutts]

@corvus--caurinus

Yup! Per my neurologist, before the mid/late 00s the medical community was sort of, uh, unconcerned about so-called "minor" concussions, because the symptoms didn't seem to last longer than a few seconds and thus it was treated as a non-issue. Most parents didn't take their kids to the doctor for them and the few who did were told to let the kid rest for a day and then get back to life as normal.

Then a breakthrough study happened and revealed there is no such thing as a "mild" concussion. All concussions are concussions and all concussions are brain injuries. And all concussions run an exponentially higher risk of increasingly dangerous and life-affecting symptoms as you knock your brain around more and more. And with each subsequent concussion, you run the serious risk of these symptoms becoming permenant brain damage. Turns out, your brain does not actually like to be jumbled around in there, who knew.

The white flash is usually caused by one of two things: a jarring motion in your retinas (not a concussion) or the impact of your brain banging against the fluids and other matter inside of your skull (that's a concussion). Same if you "see stars"- the "stars" are the damaged nerves that just banged into something firing off electrical impulses trying to figure out how to cope with what just happened. And of course if you hit your head or are shaken to the point of losing consciousness, that's your brain's equivilant of the computer that, when smacked, turns itself off. All of these are concussions, and while it may seem like knocking yourself out should result in a worse concussion than just seeing stars, brains don't always follow that rule. All of these concussions will eventually stack on top of each other and will cause a major TBI once you hit your head a little too hard or perhaps even just one too many times.

So when he said "okay so you were never *treated* for a concussion but have you ever had this happen after hitting your head?" well... yes, actually. I was hit in the head by a thrown baseball bat (accidentally) in gym class and promptly took a nap. I was awake and otherwise fine in a few minutes so besides being sent home that day and having a large bruise/egg nothing really happened. I was doing flips on the gymnastic bars and lost my grip and whacked my head against the ground and, you guessed it, was unconscious. By the time my friends got the recess teacher over I was already awake and just a little dazed- again they sent me home but that's it. I fell through one of those dome monkey bars at a playground with my mom and hit the ground head/neck first. This was before the age of cell phones so Mom told me she was trying to figure out what to do about her very unresponsive child in the middle of the park (it's dangerous to move someone who may have broken their back/neck but she also can't just leave me laying on the ground to knock on someone's door to call 911) when I woke up and outside of a stiff neck seemed "quiet but fine".

In fairness according to my neuro there's not really much a doctor *could* have done medically as I bounced back without any problems except maybe have me take it easy for a couple weeks (I'd've died of boredom with no stimulation) but it still should have been noted that each of those were concussions. Then the amount of times that I've been dazed or saw lights... too many to count. I work with high energy dogs in an impact sport, they headbutt me or punch me or knock me to the ground all the time. I was an active kid and an athlete prior to my heart acting up, so sport-related injuries just sort of come with the package and that includes knocks on the head.

But sitting in his office and hearing him say that, and then recovering from the TBI and examining what it's done to my life... it made me realize how much people take for granted. It just takes one too many knocks on the head. He said the major thing he regrets as an older neurologist is that for a very long time, most of his practicing career and certainly a significant portion of my own life, no one really cared about concussions. But the line between concussion and TBI is very blurred, because in truth a concussion *is* a brain injury, and at some point you will concuss yourself much much worse than you were expecting due to the buildup of damage from not taking hitting your head seriously.

The best way to think of it is breaking your ankle. A broken ankle is a broken ankle, there's no such thing as a "mild" broken ankle. But there are grades of severity- a hairline fracture on a single bone is a broken ankle, but recovery time and process are relatively straightforward in most cases. Completely shattering multiple bones on the other hand significantly lengthens recovery time and the process is significantly more involved with a risk of further complications. If you keep doing whatever it is that gave you a hairline fracture, one day you won't be so lucky, and you will completely shatter the whole joint assembley.

That's how concussions are. Those cute little knocks that cause a white flash and nothing else? That's a warning to stop doing that and be more careful. You get to hobble around in a boot for a while to think about your choices leading up to this point. Knocking yourself out? Well you've snapped a bone. You get a cast and some crutches. Full blown TBI? Congrats, the whole ankle is fucked and you need major surgery now.

[roo-bastmoon]

So privacy has been violated OR...

... a smear campaign has begun.

Let's just get this new dating scandal out of the way so we can get back to buying and streaming...

Listen, I don't share unofficial content, but by now everyone in this tag knows there's a video going around that's supposed to be of JK in his apartment with Bam, walking around back-hugging and perhaps kissing a girl. Folks say there's the same couch, same wall panel, and a mood lamp.

I'm side-eyeing this because it's super grainy footage, the windows are different, the wall panel seems to be in different places in the two videos, the guy is shorter than the girl, and he's wearing a mask indoors. Plus, the account that dropped the videos supposedly posted then promptly closed up shop, which seems like they had the intention for deliberate sabotage instead of clout chasing as a sasaeng.

But people say the apartment set up seems really similar and the man has a similar hairstyle to what JK had in the beginning of 2023. So I guess it's Schrodinger's cat at this point.

(Isn't it curious that apartment-related scandals seem to happen on the day new content drops? Hmm... I digress.)

Look... If Jungkook (or Jimin) ends up dating someone else, I'm still going to support them as individuals. I'll be sad of course, because Jikook had AMAZING chemistry and I was really rooting for them to be together forever and all... but, I want them to be happy and fulfilled more than I want them to fit into any fantasy or ideas of my own.

That being said: at this very moment, half of Jimin's insta feed is about Jungkook. Most of Jungkook's lives for 2023 have JK mentioning Jimin, or even being totally focused on Jimin. There's years of super duper sus history between them. Right up to and including yesterday, where Jimin very heavily implied they are sharing Chuseok together.

It feels really weird to me that Jimin would want to tie JK's hair back neatly, call JK baby, beg JK to stay longer at his rehearsal, and joke that he can handle seeing JK naked -- but JK can't come over to shower and visit b/c Jimin says he just isn't that easy... if JK were in a relationship with someone else.

It also feels really weird to me that JK would light up like a super nova any time Jimin commented on his lives, would beg Jimin to hang out, would sing all of Jimin's songs and memorize Jimin's interview content, would travel with Jimin for his debut, then roll around naked in bed grinning and blushing while flirting with Jimin on live... if JK were in a relationship with someone else.

That would make Jungkook kind of a shitty boyfriend and Jimin kind of a shitty friend.

I know Jungkook is cultivating this cool guy/ladies man image right now and that is kinda baffling. I know friends can play-flirt, too... but to do all that on lives, after all their history together, knowing what half of Korea and ARMY thinks? Hm.

That's not "fanservice;" that's really toeing the line of queerbaiting. And it's really hard for me to imagine Jimin or Jungkook doing something like that. Jimin said he hates fake bromance stuff. (I guess anything is possible. It's a new chapter, after all. Maybe it's par for the course in idol-world.)

Hey, maybe Jikook had an amicable break up but are still really close and are fine teasing each other? Maybe they always liked to flirt but never were together? Maybe I've been reading it all wrong this whole time? Or maybe this is a bullshit video?

Whatever the reality is, I'm prepared to acknowledge it. At any time.

I'm not in a cult. I don't have to convince myself of anything. Jikook's behavior had made me think Jikook were in a relationship. If JK is dating someone else now? Okay then. I will just stop posting Jikook content and continue to help OT7 and celebrate my bias with all my heart.

No need for elaborate conspiracy theories or coping histrionics. If JK is in his Loving Women Era, good for him. Go with god, my brother. (Personally, I'd never recover from losing my chance to be with Thee Park Jimin, but that's me!)

But something about this just doesn't quite feel right. I wonder if he'll address it at all, like he did when folks filmed him in his gym or sent food to his home? Because if this is somehow real, it's a HORRIBLE invasion of privacy; home is supposed to be a safe place, and stalkers are scary.

And if it's not real, then someone is going to an AWFUL lot of trouble to overshadow Jungkook's release and upcoming album and that is unhinged. The kind of trouble that reminds me of apartment break-ins and tampered mail.

In any case, like I said: I'm ready to accept whatever the reality is, once the reality becomes clear.

I really love Jungkook. I really love Jimin. I really love BTS. They were there for me at the darkest, lowest point in my life. So whether I was right or wrong about Jikook, it doesn't really matter. In the end, I support them as far as I can.

But also, I sorta think this video may just be bullshit. So let's let them have their privacy, and focus instead on voting for Jimin and buying and streaming for JK instead, hmm? Eventually the truth will come to light.

No matter what happens, let's behave in a way that would make Jimin and Jungkook proud.

Love, Roo