#someone send him to therapy PLEASE

[betashift]

STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS — 2.08 "Under the Cloak of War"

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the effervescent @cordiallyfuturedwight and @jiminsproof for the november receipt <33 thanks lovelies!!

just a touch late to the party, but if you haven't already: @dearedwardteach @pauls-mccharmly @thvinyl @btscontentenjoyer @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @eoieopda @monismochi 💜 MWAH

[undertheknightwing]

Bernard: If Conner dies, Gar dies.

Dick: 😨

Gar "I'm tired of life anyway" Logan:

[blue-eli]

I just got to THE Kairi scene in kh1 and it’s got me,,,, ooooo,,, I wanna study her underneath a microscope,,, the destiny trio are SO fucked in this game they all have complexes in particular Riku and Kairi they are SO fucked up

[daincrediblegg]

the video was a mistake I need to sit on the floor and cry about how much I love that old man

[throneofsapphics]

Ok it only take three broke my heart. I need a reconciliation or I’m sending you my therapy bill 😭

please accept my peace offering

just one more

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel will endure anything to make you happy.

Warnings: none

You had a beautiful, radiant smile on your face, and Azriel would do anything to keep it. Even enduring this. He couldn’t quite handle it alone, so he brought Cassian with him - and threatened him to act like everything was perfect. The other male didn’t look like he’d taken his threats too seriously, but if he gave the smallest inclination it wasn’t good, he’d make sure he regretted it.

“What did you make this time, love?” He asked, your body still shielding whatever was behind you. Twisting, you brought the plate out in front of you. Cupcakes. Fuck, he’d have to eat more than one to prove it to you. It dawned on him before that maybe he shouldn’t be doing this, for the sake of the world, but he couldn’t bring himself to take that smile off of your face. 

Cassian looked excited, taking a seat at the table. Azriel slowly sat next to him, and you slid the tray onto the table, taking a seat across. Waiting for them to test it. 

Fighting the urge to cringe, he grabbed one, carefully taking a bite. You watched each movement, eyes already lit up. One bite - gods this was the worst yet. 

Azriel forced himself to down the entire thing, and from the corner of his eye Cassian was doing the same next to him. 

“It’s really good,” he told you - with a forced smile. Cass glanced at the clock and made up an excuse to be somewhere else. 

Just one more, Azriel told himself, then you can say you went out to lunch. 

The grin on your face was worth it. Azriel just needed to figure out how to get rid of the rest, before someone found them and got sick. Being with you, he’d developed an iron-clad stomach. He couldn’t say the same for the rest of them. 

-

“I just want to know how bad I can make them before Azriel stops pretending,” you told Mor later. “But now he brought Cassian in on it.” 

[wolfytoothy]

BEAT THEY AHH

This was recommended by one of my bookie wookies @liauroo

No offence to all the Tiffany’s out there😅.

You don’t know what happened, but all you remember is you laying on the floor, barely unable to move, then the sound of an ambulance, and miles face, him saying words but it came out muffled.

Now your here.

Sitting in a hospital bed, with a busted up face.To be specifice a bloody nose, busted lip,bruised cheek, knuckles, and a sprained ankle.“MA, what happened!?” Miles asked, bursting into the room with a worried expression. “ Well got into a lil brawl apparently” you said sheepishly as you nervously laughed. “Did you win- I mean, With who? when? Why?” He asked as he cupped your face. “With Tiffany, during the second period, cuz she was talking through her neck and thinking nothing was gonna happen to her with her stank ass” you sassed, crossing your arms, kissing your teeth as you did. “Actually she got in 2 fights” Someone announced making both you and Miles turn their hands. It was J.B. your best friend. Well about to the EX best friend if she keeps exposing you like this.“TWO” Miles yelled looking at you slightly disappointed. “Wit who?”, “an argument with the kid named Hakeem and a fist fight with Tiffany” J.B. confirmed making you scowl. “Wait, I was just in the period with you, how is that possible?” the man complained.

“Well it all happened when-”

Flash back:

“Ms. Carter, can we please send Miles Morales to the counselor office” The announcements said.

“Yea sure”

The class was in the middle of a group project till he got called. Everyone feared Miles, they had so much to say but couldn't say it to his face. It honestly pissed you off. As soon as he closed the door, Hakeem started to stalk his shit. “Uh oh, looks like mama’s boy needs therapy” Hakeem teased. You could feel your soul shift, “well atleast his mama wants him unlike your ass” you muttered, but just enough got him to hear you. The male's eyes widened as he got flushed when some of the people heard you.

Him being aggressive and never shutting up. So when the teacher left the classroom for a bit, he took the opportunity to grab your desk making you face him, there could be a loud screech being heard throughout the class catching everyone's attention. “The fuck did you say lil girl” he spat getting in your face.“If I can smell your breath, then back. Up” you said in a warning tone, fr about to get physical. “

I was talking to you lil girl” he spat grabbing your face, making you grimence as he pulled you closer. Since he touched you first, it would be labeled as self defense. You kicked him in the knee causing him to hunch over.

“Don’t try that shit again with me bitch, next time your ass will be getting mollywhopped.” you spat.

End of flashback:

Miles stared at you with his mouth slightly open. “W-wait he said huh”. “Mhm, he does it everytime” you admit. Miles was high key flabbergasted, then he got himself. “I appreciate you defending me ma, but I can handle it myself” he reassured. “Baby I don’t give a damn, I’m your twin, I’m not gonna let that slide”,

“You're literally in a hospital bed right now”,

“Miles i don’t give a fuck, I should have molly-woped his ass,and it was worth it”.

Miles was disappointed. He pintched his nose bridge and layed back in his chair. “Do I even what, to here the buffoonery you got yourself into with Tiffany” he asked.

“Actually she had a valid point for rocking her shit” J.B. objected, making you nod. “So it all started a lil while back where everyone and they mama was accusing me of flirting with her man, but literally everyone and their mama knows I’m talking to you,” you started as you sat up.

“Right, so what happened?”

“I rocked her shit is what happened”

“Oh sweet jesus”

Flash back:

You were currently on your way to your next period and that required you going down the stairs. As you took the first step you felt hands on the back of your shoulders and a strong ass force pushing you. Making you stumble and literally hit your forehead on the pole. Gasp and laughter erupted as you clutched your head in pain. “Son of a gun” you muttered, feeling a hard pounding run through your head. Then all of a sudden,someone and their hot breath pinned me against the wall. “Yo, what the fuck-” bit before you could finish ou were interrupted.“ so You thought you could flirt with my man and get away with it weirdo”. You instantly knew it was tiffany.

“Yo wa-”, “Answer the fuck question slut” she spat. When you proceed the information, and it all settled in, you realized. She was really playing with her life. But that fall and you hitting your head on that pole really messed you up, and her just pushing you against the wall repeatedly was messing you up more. “Get your hands off me” you yelped, pushing Tiffany's arm off of you as you clutch your head in pain. And just like any girl fight, She pulled your hair, but that didn’t last long when you grabbed the collar of her shirt and tripped her laying her on her back. A move Miles taught you a while ago.

And just for good measure, and for fun, you kicked her in the gut.

But before the fight could even, you blacked out.

End of flashback:

“She pushed you down the stairs!?” he yelled making you recoil a bit at the sudden outburst. “yes that's what I just said bookie. See now if I had caught myself in time, then I wouldn't be in the hospital bed while the doctors try to make sure I have no concussions.” you complained. “Not you still putting her in her place when you were on the verge of dying” Miles chuckled.

“Yea, and from what I’ve heard I sat on top of her, witch I don’t remember” you said genuinely. “Well that part I do remember” he said traumatized, a shiver going down his spine.

“In my defense I’m innocent as can be, They all put their hands on me first, and it’s technically labeled as self defense so I’m not in the wrong” you admit rolling your eyes. “Sweety… no”

“What, it’s a win win anyways, I got sent to the hospital, and she did as well”

“You sent her to the hospital!?”

“Of course, may I remind you she pushed me down stairs, why are you on her side”

“...You know what you're right, lemme’ go pay Hakeem and Tiffany a little visit”.

“Miles, no”

“Trust they will be dealt with”

[comfortless]

this thought has been running around in my head for weeks and your König hcs are my favorite… so here i go

what icks do you think our König has? ik he may consider himself to fall in the “beggars can’t be choosers” category but i am just so curious… 🤔

FAVORITE?! 💞 you are so correct about the “beggars can’t be choosers” mentality. König is very much aware of how other people tend to view him as some creepy, stupid brute. i think that there is certainly a lot that bothers him, mostly attributed to his past, but none of it is an actual dealbreaker in any sense. you’re likely to be met with a cold shoulder and a bit of trust diminished at most. the majority of his “icks” are just him picking up on red flags. the gross or awkward things are just cute to him!

A very “vapid” approach to interests and such is going to make him concerned. König does not understand trends, or liking something simply because someone else does. He equates keeping up with pop culture and fashion as being similar to the children that tortured him in the past (So: popular kids with popular hobbies). Authenticity is held in high regard here. The stranger and more alienated that you are, the more compatible and similar you two may be in his mind.

This said, König would go feral seeing you in one of those pretty dresses or outfits that are all the rage. Dressing like a cute milkmaid for a picnic date, playing some sweet love song for him that you may have picked off a viral video, etc. He’s not exactly in touch with these things so he’s no proper judge or jury here.

Being too pushy. There’s a fine line there that’s not to be crossed. He much prefers playing the role of a leader rather than being a submissive follower. He’ll boast about being your devotee, worship like a dog at your feet, but he likes to feel in control of the relationship and what goes on within it.

He’ll never tell you directly that yes, his anxiety will be gnawing at his guts if you plead with him to come along with you to a commonly crowded mall, and expects that a simple rejection should suffice. It’s likely he would keep hushed about the fact that your frustrated pleading actually turns him on, too.

Being unnecessarily cruel. The man gets cruelty, he’s paid in abundance for it. But women should be sweet and soft. If you’re talking poorly about another person, using words like “ugly” or a slur of some kind, how are you any better than some bully? It does not matter that the victim can not hear you speaking about them, what matters is that he can. It would send him into a spiral of thinking that each time you two have had an argument, you’re likely cruelly chattering about him to your friends afterward.

Yet… he is very much the type to shoot an inept employee a glare and make demands. He will call his fellow operators all sorts of things when he returns from a mission gone wrong. König is the king of double standards here.

By extension, dogging him/his work/his interests is sure to bother him. König likes to believe that he’s done the work to make himself more pleasing now: trained his body through the military to give himself the stature women seem to drool over, covers what he can of his face when it’s socially acceptable so that others don’t harp on an unpleasant glimpse, even thinks of himself as some sort of chivalrous gentleman (very easy to do so as no one gets a peek at what goes on in his mind). His work, not therapy, is where he gets to blow off steam in a justifiable, honorable way. Sure, he’s got some dorky, juvenile interests, but they’re things that he enjoys.

Talk of previous relationships/sex would immediately make his blood boil! Even if it’s said to assure him that he’s better than a former lover. He’s just very jealous and if he were to be blunt, he would tell you he is addicted to the relationship and doesn’t want to think of anyone else ever having what he does currently. It’s best not to mention any past you may have had unless you care to answer a series of questions. “Were they better in bed?”… “Full name?” … “When did you last see them?”

Ironically, if you already have children, he would absolutely adore the stepdad role. It’s not so much as a challenge, then, only the glee that comes with getting to play savior for more than one person.

Infidelity. Whether in a past relationship or in a current one with him. The thought of you ever cheating on him, emotionally or physically, would tear him apart. Something as simple as a fantasy of wanting two or more men to serve you is filed messily in his brain with this, too. Same with you confessing to finding another man attractive, whether a celebrity, someone entirely fictional, or even some random civilian padding by on the sidewalk. All of that counts as some minute form of infidelity to König. He does not share.

He’s guilty of threesome fantasies, guilty of staring down a woman that he finds attractive… he just doesn’t act on these things, holds his tongue and huffs that he certainly wasn’t looking and would never want to fuck any one other than you. It does not really occur to him that those things are normal, especially in long term relationships.

Bear in mind that this is all from a man who almost entirely lacks shame. He’s comfortable with himself now (somewhat). He has no qualms with chewing the skin around his fingernails when he’s stressed out, picking his nose in front of you, shitting with the bathroom door wide open, or talking with his mouth full when he’s just that engaged in a conversation. I think it’s only fair to include some of the things he does that may be repulsive!

Absolutely clueless when it comes to seeing you cry. He has no idea how to comfort someone properly as he never really had that. His solution seems to be hovering over you and asking a thousand questions or just draping himself over you and letting your arms curl over him for comfort.

Would kiss you with his eyes open. Not his fault that you’re so pretty and he doesn’t want to miss a moment of it. Not always, but once is bad enough.

Would absolutely send you an “I miss you” text the day after your first date. Will also tell you that he’s in love with you the first time you have sex.

Will get hyperfixated on historical weapons and will absolutely purchase some rusted, ancient relic without telling you beforehand. It gets well polished and loved, then displayed on your living room wall.

Loves talking about his kills. He’s proud, because if there’s one thing that he’s good at it’s knowing where to shoot or stab or punch. He knows to hold his tongue about the more grisly details around someone delicate, but more often than not he is prone to slip-ups.

Will use your toothbrush without asking.

Thinks he’s very skilled and very cool because he can trim up any overgrown facial hair with a pocket lighter. It is not cool. There’s a razor and shaving cream right there. He may not burn himself, but it’s not exactly pleasant to have your bathroom smelling of burned hair.

Does not have a lick of fashion knowledge. Plain t-shirts, jeans, combat boots, maybe a belt if he cares to bother with it at most. At the least, when he’s at home, you can expect him to indulge in some nudist fantasy because it’s unlikely he will bother to wear a thing. Maybe socks.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Would you consider young Konig to be an incel like guy or just an awkward young man whose social anxiety makes it difficult for him to talk to women?

It’s awful but young recruit almost went down the full incel pipeline yes :/ He had high hopes of finally finding a girlfriend once he hit the army because soldiers get a lot of women, right? He’s not bad looking, he makes money, he’s ripped as fuck, no one bullies him now. He should either have a lovely cute girl by his side or a flock of ladies wanting to sleep with him by now!

Turns out they all look at him weird or turn their noses up at him once he starts to speak. He can’t even find a one night stand because he’s a bit too eager. Blows up most of his chances for a date because he says something filthy far too soon on those stupid dating apps he hates because they’re clearly rigged for women.

It fuels his grief even more: and like with most people, unprocessed grief turns into rage. Only, König already has loads of that... At some point he doesn’t even know if he wants a girlfriend anymore: he just wants someone to fuck (and hold close for a while before they leave him). He doesn’t believe in his chances which makes him an even lousier bf candidate, which makes women shun him even more, which makes him despise women in general even more.

That's until he meets you.

This time, the game’s changed. It’s a woman who approaches him: a woman who's adorable, sweet, and eager. You turn out to be married, yes, but König won’t say no to his first chance of getting some pussy. He likes it that you know what you want – he doesn’t have to think about whether you’re going to stand him up on a date or if some "Please go to therapy" text means you're trying to flirt with him.

You’re clearly infatuated, just like he is. You look at him with sparkling eyes when he fucks you, you make him a nice meal when he comes home (he calls your house home now, the place where he actually lives is just a flat, storage for him and his stuff), you pet his head after he’s eaten you out. You let him chase you around the house and rip your underwear to pieces, you let him bite you and carry you to bed and send you dick pics, just like a girlfriend would do! You’re only pleased when he sends you naughty texts and pics of his dick, he can tell. He can give you all the things Colonel can not (or will not): all in all, this setting works perfectly fine for him. If only he didn’t get so obsessed…

Because suddenly, you’re not just pussy to him. Suddenly, you’re not just the first girl he got to fuck. As much as he hates the Colonel, young König would swallow sharp shrapnels to get to be with you. He tells everyone at the base that he now has a girlfriend: he even shows them your picture (taken without your consent: you’re giggling and trying to cover yourself with his shirt after another rowdy session). He’s not sure if the uneasy smiles he gets are pity or jealousy (because of course everyone can see his gf is the cutest woman on Earth and also hot as hell).

He wants to call you all the time, hear your soft, shy laugh when he tells you he’s going to bully you when he gets back. Stomach full of those famous butterflies and cock twitching in his camos, he could listen to your laugh forever. If only it wasn’t for that stupid ring on your finger, König would take you to Austria to meet his mother.

[rreids]

hey, i was wondering if you'd be able to write smth with Spencer in a relationship with someone with bpd? it's totally okay if you're not comfy with that, but I've just been suspecting i may have it, and ppl with bpd are always portrayed so negatively in relationships. it would be just rly nice to read ur take on how Spencer would handle that and just see some positive representation! (my mental health has also been shit so it would be p comforting lol) thank u 🫶

hi love 🫶 i don't know a ton about bpd, so i hope i did this justice! i researched the diagnosis and how healthy relationships help with regulation and in what ways they do (both accounts from experts and from those who are diagnosed). and i hope you feel better soon <3 it sucks when your mind fights against you.

PROMISES • S. REID X READER

reader has bpd (written by an author without, ideally will be comforting rather than hurtful. please let me know if it is offensive in any way); gn!reader; spencer has to break a small promise but makes others; talks of therapy; teasing; fluff; ~500 words

“Hey, sweetheart,” Spencer whispers into the phone, voice a little strained. “I’m really, really sorry, but I can’t make lunch today. We’re on the way to a case in Omaha. It’s a really bad one.”

Your heart sinks. “Oh.”

“You know I want to be there more than anything, right?” He’s shuffling papers in the background, and you know they’re in the middle of getting ready on the jet and that he’s still making time for you, but it still makes your mind race with worry and upset. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week. And I promise I’ll take you out as soon as we’re back.”

You frown, fiddling with the promise ring on your finger. “Will you still talk to me?”

Spencer chuckles. “I think I go insane when I go too long without hearing your voice. As long as you don’t mind calls when it’s two a.m. there, I’m calling before bed every night I have enough time.”

You sigh.

“I know, honey. When’s your next meeting with your therapist?”

“Tomorrow,” you mumble, gnawing on your lip.

“Well, you have permission to talk about how much I suck,” Spencer teases lightly. “As long as you know it’s not by choice that I’m being a bad boyfriend.”

“You’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“You’re the best boyfriend. You understand me.” He does. He’s looked into BPD extensively — he knows even more than you do, rattling off statistics, assumed causes and connections, coping methods, everything. He knows how to break you out of the spirals and to calm your impulsivities.

“You have other boyfriends?” Spencer sighs dramatically, and you laugh.

“Why would I have them? You’re more than enough.”

Spencer hums. “I am, aren’t I?” 

You groan.

“I’m messing with you,” his voice is fond and soft. “I gotta hang up, everyone’s coming and we need all our focus on this case. Message me if you need anything. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t do anything,” you know you’re exaggerating, but it’s hard to stop the words.

“I do, just nothing out of our normal,” he’s nudging you gently, reminding you to think things through before acting impulsively. “I give you permission to watch our show without me if it’ll keep you entertained.”

You laugh. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll be good,” you draw it out.

Spencer snorts. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Spence.”

A beat.

“I’m not actually going to talk shit about you to my therapist, just so you know. I do talk about you though.”

And then you hang up. 

He sends you a ‘???’ and a ‘I wanted to say something still.’ right after. When you tell him to say it, he sends a ‘Do what you need to feel regulated. I don’t take it to heart, you know I don’t.’

And he doesn’t. He’s so sweet, so achingly perfect, understanding of when your moods swing, or when you feel empty, or whenever anything changes and you can’t tell why. 

And he always helps you down, kissing scars and tears and whispering praise as he gets you to feel right again.

[dsycop]

WHO TALKS SHIT ABOUT YOU ?

PILE 1 : 2 people talk shit about you. A man and a woman. But the man's energy is more dominant. This person didn't get what they wanted from you, and it hurt this person's ego. He's extremely toxic. This person is a very shitty person. This person feels rejected by you. You may have shattered this person's "fake" self-esteem. This person may not see no as an answer. He may be jealous of your love life. This person thinks, "If I can't have you, no one can." He doesn't want someone else to come into your life and he doesn't want you to be happy with someone else, and this thought may be making him very angry. This person's sexual attraction to you is also very high. You're making this person's dick hard. This person is really obsessed with you and doesn't want you to be happy without them. This person is sending you negative energy. ( protect yourself 🛡) This person is very unhappy and wants you to be on the same level as him. This person feels a huge deficit. This person needs therapy.

The woman who talks shit about you is a very stupid person. This person may be comparing themselves to you. She's very insecure. This person is someone who feels inadequate. This person does not feel happy and peaceful. This person is someone who can't get what they want from the other masculine energy. This person wants to take your place. She wants to get attention like you. This person may be trying to look like you (especially in terms of appearance), this person is aware that the masculine energy wants you, and this makes them very uncomfortable. This person has been waiting for the masculine energy to forget you for a long time. This person thinks that you and masculine energy have a fateful connection, but they don't want it to happen.

WHAT THEY SAY: First of all, these people are stalking you. They were never pleased to see you happy and peaceful. You have abundance and you attract good things into your life, and these people attribute this to the fact that you are with a rich man. According to them, you have money because a rich man provides you with it. At the same time, they say that you don't care about love, you don't care about money. Your growth and healing of your emotional wounds has irritated these people (especially masculine energy) and they think you are in love with that rich man. And this causes a lot of pain to masculine energy. These people are constantly talking about you. Intentionally or unintentionally, they may be psychically attacking you. I suggest you protect yourself. 🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡

Significant Messages : "Obsessive","Self love", "Sl4t", 9, green, "Golddigger", phone.

SONGS :

Ellie Goulding - Love me like you do

Ariana Grande - Greedy

PILE 2 : This person is a woman. This person talks shit about you because she has eyes on your man. This is similar to pile 1, but this person is more aggressive. This person may want to beat you up. You may have really bothered her a lot. She has pure hatred for you. She wants you out of the way. This person may be texting some people. This person wants you to break up with whoever you're with. (If you're not in a relationship, the person they like may like you.) This person may fall in love with masculine energy and wants to share these feelings. She doesn't want to hide her feelings anymore.

WHAT THEY SAY: Here I divide it into 2 groups. Group 1, if you currently have a lover, this person says that you are cheating on your lover and you are talking to other men and is trying to spread this rumor. Group 2, if you don't have a lover, this person says you're flirting with multiple men at the same time and they're all using you (?). And this person says that you are a stupid woman. This person wants things they say about you to spread. She wants the masculine energy to hear these. This person wants not only the masculine energy she likes, but all masculine energies to be alienated and disgusted by you. She wants to see you sad.

Significant Messages : "send nudes", glory, winner, bastard, flashes, toxic, power, "watch me", health.

SONGS :

Demi Lovato - Heart Attack

Beyonce - Jolene

PILE 3 : If you're a woman, a man talks shit about you, if you're a man, a woman talks shit about you. This person feels stuck and is looking for help. You are out of this person's life. This person may be currently suffering from anxiety and money related problems. If you are a man, this person may have problems with fertility. This person can't accept you left them. After you left his / her life, his / her life was not the same as before. This person has options, but they want you. They had relationships after you, but he / she couldn't feel happy.

WHAT THEY SAY: He says you left him because of the money. He says you're immature. This person says you have an onlyfans account. He / She says you want to make money the easy way. This person also says that you are isolating yourself to avoid attracting attention. This person is saying that you are the reason your relationship ended.

Significant Messages : "move on", 12, nudes, wishing bad, flowers, "I'm holding on to you", "don't care", 4.

SONGS :

Selena Gomez - Heart wants what it wants

Harry styles - As it was

Limi - Best I ever had

[littlemissclandestine]

Please please please, I wanna know how adler and makarov will comfort us, like hcs, I mean, please? I want sweet thing because am very sad

Howdy Anon! 🤠

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry to hear you're not feeling great and hope you feel better soon. Wasn't sure whether you wanted platonic or romantic or whatnot so I just thought of a mix (kinda) i guess. Sending hugs and hope you enjoy! <33

════════════⋆★⋆════════════

---------------Russell Adler Comfort Hcs-----------------

So as you know, Adler isn't the type of guy to get all emotional (Feelings? What are feelings?) but there's no doubt he'd try to be there for you as best he can

He sometimes does stay silent. Mostly because he's just trying to figure out what to say and how to say it but it doesn't take too long for him to come up with something

He's a great listener for sure. You can rant to him about anything and he'll make you feel heard. Hell, he could probably even relate to it.

Phone calls to check up on you are a given -> "Right. I'm coming over. Promise me you won't do anything stupid in the meantime? Be there within the hour, okay?"

You might find yourself crying on the couch and he'd sit beside you. He'd probably place a hand on your thigh and give it a light squeeze as he asks you what's wrong

If you refuse to answer, he'll play some slow songs and pull you up and off the couch and into his arms to slow dance because he knows it'll earn a smile from you. He'll brush a stray piece of hair out the way and look into your eyes, telling you he loves you.

If you're really having a meltdown and you're in a right state, he'll pull you into his body, resting his chin on top of your head as he whispers words of encouragement to you, not caring that his favourite shirt is drenched. -> "That's it, just let it out. You're gonna be okay. I'm here, alright? Shhh. I'm not going anywhere."

If you're in public having a panic attack, he'd notice the signs. The way your watery eyes dart all over the place being hypervigilant of your surroundings, the way you cling to him a little more than usual, how you aren't responding to him, how your breathing is quick and you feel all clammy. It's his job to know.

He'd take you to the side and shield you as he talks you down. Maybe even take your hand and lead you to the public toilets, making sure it's clear to freshen up and have some space and privacy. -> "You ever heard of box breathing, kid?"

He'll take you back to his car for a long drive and offer you tissues and strike up a conversation, your favourite songs playing in the background while you steady your breathing

He'd hold your hands in his to ground you if need be and rub your arms and thighs as you sob violently, staying quiet, looking away and closing his eyes briefly as he hears you. He can't bare to see you like that.

Russell would also cup your face, wiping your tears away with his thumbs as he asks you to look at him and he calms you down with that low, husky voice of his. -> "You'll get through this, okay? Just like you always do. Only this time, you've got me. So let me take care of you."

He's one to always come up with solutions to your problems, no matter what it is

But he's also brutal. No sugarcoating.

════════════⋆★⋆════════════

-------------Vladimir Makarov Comfort Hcs-------------

I feel like, whereas Adler has more of a way with words and is someone who also gives you comfort through touch, Makarov mostly uses a more materialistic approach but that's not to say he doesn't use touch.

He'd ask if you wanted to go out shopping (retail therapy) where he'd spoil you crazy, letting you buy whatever you want. A dress? Sure. A watch? Of course. A diamond necklace? You got it.

Mak would take you on a helicopter ride for sure during the day or even night, letting you take in the sights.

Makarov may offer to take you out for dinner to your favourite place, getting his goons to make the reservation (or threaten someone to give up their reservation and hold the poor receptionist at gunpoint so you can get a table right there and then).

But don't get me wrong...he'd defo watch your comfort movie with you again, no matter how many times you've watched it. You both just cuddling on the couch with a blanket as he plants kisses on your temple.

He'd crouch down in front of you, rubbing your knees as he asks you what's troubling you. -> "What's got you crying my beloved? What do you need from me?"

He's defo a hand holder so he'll rub your hands and draw circles on your palms and intertwine his fingers with yours. -> "It's okay, my love. Breathe. Just breathe."

This guy loves giving forehead kisses and you can't tell me otherwise. His kisses linger and he rests his forehead against yours for sure as he talks you down.

As you two sleep, he'd be the big spoon, wrapping his arms around your body, keeping you close while he whispers words of praise and how you don't have to worry as he'll always take care of you.

If it's someone who's causing you problems, Makarov goes pew pew and calls it a day.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

Note: I was a bit biased when it came to Adler. Whoops. Hope that's okay for now. I might edit this post and add some more when I can. Defo doing a part 2 to Adler's comfort hcs. This was a nice little exercise though. Always a pleasure to write for COD men ;) - Star ☆

[cod-dump]

Invincible Like I’ve Never Been - Teen!Ghost AU

AleRudy

featuring trans!Rudy, Alejandro, and Alejandro’ father

TW: mentioning of domestic violence

This takes place when Rudy is 15 and Alejandro is 16, before Simon and Johnny start dating and before Farah comes to live with Simon and his family.

———

He felt like he had to choice on what to do. He couldn’t go to Valeria’s house, her parents would call his in a heartbeat. He wouldn’t be safe there. He couldn’t go to the police, they wouldn’t listen to him. So he went to Alejandro’s.

He walked on the wood’s line behind the houses to avoid being near the street, hand gripping his phone in a tight grip as his eyes darted between the woods and the houses. He was terrified of his father finding him, dragging him back home and sending him off somewhere. So scared that he’d never see Ale again, only see Valeria when his parents allow him to attend dinners with their friends.

Rudy stopped when he finally came to the house he was looking for. He shook as he walked around the house, knowing better than to knock on the back door. He had to breathe for a moment before he knocked, hand still gripped on his phone he had long powered off. He wasn’t sure why he still had it at this point.

Rudy flinched when the door opened and Alejandro’s father greeted him with his famous friendly glare. It softened the moment he saw Rudy.

“Lina? What are you doing out so late?”

Rudy swallows, heart hurting and voice small, “Can I see Ale?”

Leonardo looked him over before stepping aside, “‘Course, mija. Come sit.”

Rudy walks in, flinching when he feels Leonardo touching his shoulder as he passes and his hand immediately leaving when he feels Rudy flinch. Rudy mindlessly goes to the living room to go to the bedrooms down the hall, but he stops and turns to look at Leo.

“Please don’t call my parents… or tell them I’m here.”

The man’s jaw clenched before he nodded. Leonardo was a good man, very rough around the edges and tended to talk with his hands more than his mouth, but he was good. Rudy trusted him to not say anything if anyone came poking around or to make the right decision for the situation. So he left it up to him what to do if someone came knocking… he hoped no one did.

Rudy knocked lightly on Ale’s door before opening it. Alejandro was lying in bed watching TV. He jerked up into a sitting position when the door opened, blinking owlishly when he saw Rudy.

“Rudy? What are you doing here so late?”

Every ounce of composure Rudy had shattered and he started crying, Alejandro jumping off his bed to run to him, wrapping his arms around the boy as he cried. They were on the floor in seconds, Rudy clinging to Ale as he sobbed, unable to speak or stand. Ale said nothing, just held him, confused and worried.

He wasn’t sure how long they were there or how long Rudy cried, but he cried until there were no more tears, just an empty numbness. Alejandro held him the same and rubbed his back in a soothing manner that helped Rudy feel at ease.

“I told them.”

Alejandro was quiet, squeezing Rudy a little tighter which was the only thing showing Rudy he heard him.

“It was stupid. I should’ve known better,” Rudy muttered, wanting to cry but he didn’t have it in him.

This closeness between him and Alejandro is what led to the incident. His parents questioning him dating a boy like Ale, a boy who lived in a single parent household and worked with his father at his and his aunt’s store, his father being a felon with a bad history, with a gang of fellow criminals often in his company. They didn’t approve, didn’t like Ale or his father. It made Rudy angry, he felt the need to defend them both.

And other things came to light.

“He hit me.”

Alejandro tensed, “What? Your dad?”

Rudy just nodded, “He said he was going to ship me off, get me ‘fixed’. I got scared and ran.”

They were going to come looking for him, they were going to take him away and ship him off to some conversion therapy clinic and not let him out until he’s their ideal daughter. They don’t want him, they want their perfect little girl.

“They won’t get you, I won’t let them,” Alejandro growled, lips in Rudy’s hair and arms secure around his shoulders.

Rudy wanted to believe him, that he could keep them away.

Eventually Leo knocked on the door, stirring Rudy from where he laid against Alejandro. He didn’t open the door just spoke through it.

“I have some blankets for you, mija.”

Rudy blinked and Alejandro got up, going to the door. Rudy watched him step into the hall and hear quiet muttering between him and Leo. Rudy trembling as he stood off the floor, sitting on the bed. He wasn’t afraid of Leo calling them, not afraid of being kicked out. Yet he was still shocked by the man quickly determining he was staying the night… or maybe longer.

Alejandro steps back into the room with fluffy blankets, Rudy feeling honored getting something so soft looking. Knowing Ale and his father, that was a treasured blanket.

“I’ll get you something you can change into.”

Rudy took the blanket silently, words escaping him. He wanted to say so much, but he was so tired. So he took the soft shirt and pants Ale handed him and went to the bathroom to change. Rudy was used not looking at the mirror too long, used to ignoring its presence and what it shown. He just put the clothes on that smelled like Ale, thrown the ones he worn in the trash and went back to Ale.

And he laid in his arms, safe. He feared no one would take him in his sleep.

When they woke, it was to Leo banging on the door.

“Ale, get up!”

Alejandro just groaned as Rudy flinched away, sitting up and looking at the door, expecting it to swing open. But it didn’t, and Ale took his sweet time getting up. Rudy stared at him, Alejandro blinking before he even noticed.

“Sorry, Dad Alarm.”

Rudy huffs out a short laugh and Alejandro turns embarrassed. They left the room, Alejandro leading way to the small kitchen where Leonardo was, standing in front of the stove staring at a cooking pancake.

“Whoa, Dad at the stove? Is the world ending?”

Leo turns as Ale passes, swatting his shoulder. He then turns to Rudy, offering him a plate of fresh pancakes.

“Sorry for the fright, mija. Have to wake up that one somehow,” Alejandro glares, Leo matching it with a glare of his own, “Fix that face, boy.”

Alejandro only scowls deeper, Leo pointing his spatula at him in warning. Ale huffs before he goes to grab the orange juice out of the fridge. Rudy stood there awkwardly for a moment with the hot plate before he went and sat at the table.

The Vargas house was much different then the one he grew up in. Smaller, messier— But it felt so much more homey. Old wallpaper whose original color was long faded, old cracked tiles, the carpet in the hall with stubborn stains. Everything in his house was perfect. It had to be perfect. Not a single imperfection was allowed, nothing was allowed to be unique or dare to be different. A single hair was not allowed to be out of place.

Alejandro sits down with a grunt, a plate with a mountain of pancakes before him. Leonardo finally joins them after cooking the rest of the batter, plopping down across from Rudy. Rudy looked at the pancakes, the syrup in the middle of the table, the melting butter that Leo placed on top of the stack-

“It’s box mix, nothing special.”

Rudy blinks and looks up, meeting Leo’s gaze, “R-Right.”

“Bisquick, not allergic are you?”

“No, sir.”

Leonardo was undeniably an intimidating man. The tattoos, the muscles, the scars— He was terrifying. Narco, his mother called him. Rudy never was afraid of him, though. He was rough, but gentle. He loved his son, his community. Though tough love tended to be the way he showed that, according to Ale. But Ale never once doubted that the man cared about him, even when he was yelling at him, dragging him by his collar home after catching him running the streets. He didn’t want Ale to end up like him, even though that’s what he desperately wanted to be. Just like his father.

“Lina-,” Leo began but Rudy cut him off, though he wasn’t sure how the mumble that barely escaped his lips managed to do that.

“Rudy.”

Leo blinked, “Rudy?”

Rudy swallowed, nervously glancing at Ale. He didn’t look nervous, just taken aback by Rudy’s boldness. After last night you would think he would be more cautious with opening up to another adult… but Leo wasn’t his parents. While they stared in confusion, he just stared like he understood. And that gave Rudy confidence to continue.

“My name is Rudy, not Catalina.”

Leonardo hummed, “Rudy.”

He said the name like he was testing it, looking at Rudy like he truly saw him.

“I… My grandfather was Rodolfo…”

“Good name.”

Rudy swallowed and looked down, it was really too early to start crying.

“Rudy, why are you here?”

Rudy looked up, “I-… wanted to see Ale.”

Unconvinced, Leo stabbed his fork into his pancakes, “And you didn’t want me to tell your parents that? Be honest with me.”

Ale was silent and Rudy wanted him to not be. He wanted him to say something, anything, to get the attention off of him. Leo wouldn’t go to the police, he wouldn’t force Rudy to go back. But he didn’t want to repeat what had happened, it was hard enough telling Ale.

Like an ironic miracle, there was a knock at the door. Leonardo stuffed a piece of pancake into his mouth before he stood up, going to the front door to answer. Rudy felt his heart start beating fast, anxiety creeping up on him as Leo answered the door. He saw his father and he scrambled out of the chair, trying to dart into the hall and into Alejandro’s room. But he wasn’t quick enough and the man spot him.

“Catalina Ortega! Get your ass over here!”

The moment the man tried to shove his way inside was the moment Leo decided he wasn’t going anywhere but on his ass outside. It was a quick motion of him grabbing Rudy’s father’s shirt and throwing him out the door, Leonardo marching out and slamming the door behind him. Rudy felt Alejandro come up and hold him, the shouting from outside was loud but muffled.

Rudy just held onto Ale, turning and burying his face against his chest. After a moment the front door opened and Leo stepped inside.

“I’m calling the police!”

“Go ahead! I dare you.”

Leonardo’s voice was threatening, a fire in his throat as he spoke. Rudy didn’t look, just let Ale lead him to his room. The fear was making him shake to the point he was sure he wouldn’t be standing if he didn’t have Alejandro’s support. They stayed in his room, in silence, for a while. Rudy just leaning against Ale as he stared at the door. They could hear Leo talking, but it definitely wasn’t to his father. He was on the phone, with who Rudy wasn’t sure. But Ale knew.

“The old man won’t let anything happen to you,” he assured him.

“Who’s he talking to?” Rudy muttered, resting his head on Ale’s shoulder.

“Probably to some… friends.”

Alejandro used the word lightly, Rudy understanding what kind of people be was referring to. But he wasn’t worried about them… or his father or mother. He felt secure where he was. Safe. The Vargas were good people, and Rudy trusted them to help keep him afloat.

———

[wintersoldiersoul]

Darkness

Summary: Bucky helps you when you're feeling depressed.

Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues

A/N: Please don't read if you think it will trigger you in any way! I'm in my feels tonight and wish I had Bucky to comfort me. Also Raynor sucks but for the sake of this fic just pretend she doesn't.

Another night sat alone in your room. You could hear the laughter of the other Avengers out in the living room but you had no desire to join in. It made you sad that you didn’t care. You wanted to, you really did. But thinking about leaving the sanctuary of your bed and having to plaster a smile on your face was too exhausting. You weren’t like them. You weren’t a superhero. No, you were just a girl that happened to be in the right place at the right time. You had met Tony Stark when you were 16 and he had taken you in like a daughter. Since then, you had lived in the tower but you never really felt like a part of everything. The team loved you and included you in everything but in your head, it was all fake. 

You’ll never be like them. You’ll never truly belong, you told yourself.

Everyone was used to you being a bright light around the tower. You were always smiling, making everyone laugh, and doling out advice left and right to anyone who needed it. But recently, something within you was cracking. The sadness that had haunted you during your teenage years was back and it felt ten times stronger than it ever had. Your teammates blamed it on exhaustion from the back to back missions you waited up all night for them to come home from. They asked if you were okay and they believed you when you lied the word “yes” through your lips. You said that you were fine so they thought you were. 

Except for Bucky. Bucky knew there was something else going on. Both of you were introverted, something that you bonded over. You were both plagued with nightmares of your past which lead to many sleepless nights. One night when insomnia found you, you ran into him sitting on the couch watching tv. You opened up to him about your issues sleeping and the two of you made a deal: You’d come find each other when sleep evaded you. 

In the two months since, you had knocked on each other’s doors countless times late into the night. Sometimes you would watch a movie together, go get pizza from the 99 cent place down the block, or you would just lay together silently on opposite sides of the bed, enjoying the comfort of not being alone but not needing to speak.

Bucky had his fair share of mental health issues after his years being Hydra’s pawn. He was in a much better place now, due to the combination of medication and therapy that he had been through. But he knew the signs of someone struggling. They used to be constantly present in himself. He knew you weren’t okay.

You lay in your bed, staring mindlessly at the wall. As the chatter of your teammates drifted under the cracks of your bedroom door, silent tears rolled down your cheeks. You were tired of feeling this way. You didn’t get why you couldn’t just be happy like everyone else. Why you couldn’t just be normal. 

They don’t care if you’re out there or not. They don’t care about you or what happens to you. Maybe you should just do all of them a favor and delete yourself from their lives forever. 

Your mind was spiraling into darker and darker places by the second. You didn’t know how much longer you could keep doing this. Keep being here, alive. 

You heard the knock on the door, but it sounded so far away. You didn’t wanna see anyone but your depleted body and mind wouldn’t let you get out the words to send them away. The door creaked open and you heard footsteps leading towards your bed.

Bucky’s face appeared in front of you. He noticed your tear stained cheeks and the dark circles under your eyes. You weren’t okay and he knew it. “Y/N, can you talk to me, please?” 

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. You were so trapped in your own mind, your own thoughts. 

“Y/N…” he tenderly reached out his hand and pushed your hair out of your face. “Can you hear me?” His thumb swept over your face, wiping a fresh tear that had fallen. “Please, just say something. I’m so worried about you…” 

You had always dealt with depression. It was something that you had shared with Bucky during one of your sleepless nights. You blinked a few times and it was like the recognition hit your brain. You realized that he was in front of you, talking to you. As the realization crossed your mind, it was impossible to keep it inside any longer. You burst into tears, hot floods falling down your face. Bucky quickly pulled you into him, stroking your hair. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay, just let it out. Let it all out.” He whispered encouraging words in your ear as you broke down. 

Once you had calmed down, he got into the bed beside you, not wanting to leave you alone. “It’s bad again, isn't it?” He asked.

You nodded, still having trouble finding the words to express what you wanted to say.

The next two days, you didn’t get out of bed. Bucky wanted to give you the space you needed but he was also worried sick. He brought you food that for the most part went uneaten. He tried to get you to shower or at least change into clean clothes but you refused. You were catatonic, spending the days alternating between crying, sleeping, and staring at the wall.

The third day, Bucky was done giving you space. “Y/N, get up. We’re going out.”

“Out?” Your voice croaked as you spoke, having barely used it in days.

“Yup. Come on, at least put on some clean clothes.”

“Don’t wanna go out, Bucky.” Your voice was so monotonous, so not you. So unlike the bright, intelligent, resilient girl that he knew so well. 

“Too bad. You don’t have a choice.” He threw the covers off of you and turned on the light. “Up.” 

You groaned and slowly sat up, muscles sore and protesting the movement after being dormant for so long. 

“Here, I brought you clothes,” he handed you one of his sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants. “Get changed. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

You changed into the clothes he brought you, taking in the scent of him on the sweatshirt. It smelled like comfort. Like home. 

A few minutes later, Bucky brought you outside to his car. You got in the passenger's seat and wordlessly stared out the window as he drove. You didn’t know where you were going and you didn’t care enough to ask. 

15 minutes of silence later, you arrived at your destination. The sign on the window read “Dr. Christina Raynor, Licensed Therapist.” “A therapist? Really? I’m not doing this.” “Yes, you are. You don’t have a choice. If you don’t get out of the car, I’ll fucking carry you inside. You can sit in silence through the whole appointment but you're going in there. I’ll wait outside or I’ll come in with you if you want, okay?”

You knew he wouldn’t budge. That’s how you found yourself sitting across from Dr. Raynor, with Bucky at your side. You told her about your past, how you had been bounced around from loveless foster home to foster home. How depression had always been there in the back of your head, like a toxic friend.

“So you don’t have a job,” Dr. Raynor repeated your own words back to you. “What’s your plan?” 

“My plan?” You asked.

“Yes. Your plan for your life. Did you ever dream of doing something specific with your life? Ever feel like you had a calling? Even if it was just a dream that you had when you were younger.”

“Um,” you blinked at her, trying to come up with any sort of answer. “I don’t have a plan. I’ve never really had one. I um,” you pointed your gaze down at the floor. “I never really thought I’d make it this far.”

“Can you elaborate on that?” She asked. You could feel Bucky’s eyes on you as you spoke. You didn’t wanna answer the question, didn’t wanna say out loud the things that had been in your head for so long. It made it real.

“I didn’t think I'd ever be this old. I never thought I’d be an adult. I thought one day I’d finally work up the courage-” you paused as your voice broke. “I thought I’d finally be brave enough to end it. I never thought about the future cause I was so sure I wouldn’t have one.”

“Y/N…” Bucky said your name, heavy sadness weighing in his voice.

Back at the tower, you headed straight for you room, just wanting to be alone. But the closing motion of the door was stopped by a vibranium arm.

“I’m not leaving you alone. Not after what you just admitted.” 

You looked at him and he really took in how broken you looked. You had lost weight and your eyes were only filled with sadness. You looked pale and all around not well.

“Bucky, please…” 

He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around you and you broke. Tears once again fell from your eyes, soaking his blue henley shirt. You were so weak, you couldn’t do this anymore. Bucky held you as you cried before picking you up and laying you on the bed. You continued to cry and he hugged you close, letting you cry for as long as you needed to.

“I don’t wanna be here anymore, Bucky,” you sobbed.

“Shhh, I know, I know. But I want you here, okay? I- I need you here. I don’t wanna live this life without you. It will get better. It will.”

“No it won’t! For my entire fucking life I’ve been trying to tell myself that. And it never fucking does! It never gets better!” 

Your words broke his heart. You were one of the most important people in his life. So important that he had even let himself start to fantasize about what it would be like if you loved him and the beautiful future you could have together. “Y/N, please. You’re not alone anymore, okay? All of those other times, you didn’t have what you have now. Tony loves you so much. You’re his daughter. He refers to you as his daughter, you know. And you have me. I’m never gonna go anywhere, okay? You can push me away, you can fight me on this as much as you want, but I am not leaving. I’m never leaving.”

You continued to cry in his arms until your body was so weak. He felt you grow more weak and tired by the second, pulling you in closer. “It’s okay. Rest, angel. I’m not leaving you. Get some sleep and I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

You eventually fell asleep in his strong arms. “I love you. I love you so much. Please don’t leave,” he whispered to your sleeping body. He knew you couldn’t hear him, but he needed to tell you anyway. He would always be there for you. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

[spectres-n-soap]

Storm Clouds - Ghost x Reader x Soap

Content warnings - pregnancy, depression, afab!fem!reader, suicidal ideation.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N - there are only five more chapters left before I end this off. It's been amazing writing this and being able to share it but I'll leave the truly mushy stuff for the last chapter

Simon has never made a 20 minute drive in 10 but he did today. He didn’t care about the traffic laws, not when you call him in tears and sobbing incoherently.

Not when he has to keep you on the phone and talk to you the entire way, not when he has to instruct you to breathe. “In for three, hold for three, now release for three.” He does it with you and your sobs turn into sniffles and quiet crying. He racks his mind for every possible reason how this could have happened. You had been doing so well and of course he of all people knows healing is never as simple as it seems but there were no signs. No hints that you crack and break today.

He nearly snaps off the stick when he pulls it into park and slams the door closed behind him. A man on a mission as he walks into the building where the parenting class was being held and feels his blood run cold when he sees him. When he sees a man who looks uncannily like Johnny, nearly an exact replica and Simon has to search for the inconsistencies to remind himself of the bitter truth, Johnny is dead. For one, his hair isn’t in a stupid mohawk. He lacks the scars bicep from a knife wound and the gunshot wound in Las Almas. And he’s with another woman, who looks concerned as she glances at the bathroom. 

Simon forces himself to move on past him, past the Johnny look-alike and knocks on the bathroom door where you were. “Oi, is she your missus?” He asks and that’s another thing to add on. Johnny was a proud Scot he was not as he once put it a ‘fucking brit’. 

“Somethin’ like that.” Simon mutters as he knocks on the door again, “Love? I’m here.” He says and he vaguely here’s the lock click back. He opens the door just enough to squeeze in and closes it behind him. The sight before him makes his entire chest hurt, tear marks on your cheeks with your eyes red and puffy. “I saw him.” He whispers and you start crying again.

”He looks just like him.” You sob into his chest when he scoops you up off the bathroom floor. He rubs his hand on your arm, whispering his acknowledgement that he does and that it's okay. It’s okay to cry and break down right now, that he has her. He waits until he hears everyone shuffle off, even barks out for everyone to fuck off. Simon doesn’t want anyone seeing you like this, you don’t deserve that embarrassment.

Simon hates this. He hates the way that one thing has seemingly set you back so far. He has to remind you to eat, to shower and to not just sleep the day away. It’s not supposed to be like this, you were getting better. You were better. You left the house, you were finally looking forward to things again and opening up to him. He wants to be angry but angry at what? At who? Some stranger who has no idea that he looks exactly like someone else so specific that it sends another person spiraling? No, that just wasn’t rational. “Your appointment is in two hours.” Simon says as he checks in on you. You’re still lying in bed, curled up as much as your pregnancy belly will let you. “You should get ready.”

Those words only make you try and curl in on yourself further. “I don’t feel like it.” You whisper as you pull the blanket over your body. “I’m tired.”

”Please? I’ll grab your favorite sweet from the market if you do.” Simon cannot believe he’s resorted to bargaining with you. But if it’ll get you to take care of yourself and this is an emergency therapy appointment. It was a miracle he managed to get this in the first place, thank god for Dr Miller. There’s silence between him and you until the bed creaks under the weight of you getting up.

”Promise?” You whisper and he nods. You sigh and stand.

Dinner is quiet. He fulfilled his end of the deal, your favorite treat sits on the counter with a few pieces already picked from it. As the two of you lay in bed that night, something must crack. The words from the therapy session echo in your mind until you crack and shatter under them. You roll over and discard the pillows between you and Simon. Simon looks at you with shock and tenses up when you bury yourself into his chest. However he immediately wraps his arms around you when you start to cry. Your tears soak his shirt as you clutch onto him like a rock during a storm.

”I wish it was me.” You say between sobs and it takes a moment for the words to process in Simon’s mind. “I wish it had been me.” You repeat, throat trying to close up as you speak so it comes out choked. “It should have been me and not Johnny.” He whispers your name, tender and disbelieving of the words you are sobbing out. 

“You don’t mean that.” He whispers and you shake your head. You keep repeating the same thing, that it should have been you instead. He hates it. He hates it so much that it burns like a brand on him, like a reminder that he had failed that day. That they all failed that day, everyone but you. You weren’t able to be there and he’s glad for it he realizes. He’s grateful you weren’t there because what if you had died too?

”I wish I was dead and he was here instead.” You sob and he pulls you closer, holds you tighter like that will fix this. He’ll never be Johnny, he knows this. He can never be Johnny and people might look like him but they’ll never be him either. No one can ever be him. 

“I know love.” He whispers as he pets your hair, ghosting a kiss on the top of your head. “I know.”

[jennay]

Haunted Memories

Request: The reader has been tagging along with the guys while they are on tour. She is in a relationship with Noah. They are back in their hometown and the reader is walking through the venue when she is stopped by her ex, which she had an abusive past with. She immediately gets shaken up by seeing him. Instead of hanging out on the side stage to watch the guys like she normally does, the reader heads back to the bus. Noah notices that she isn't around before and when they are on stage, so he starts to wonder where the reader is. After the show is over, he finds out from someone backstage that she had went back to the bus before the show even started. When he gets on the bus, he finds the reader distraught and extremely upset. Maybe something along those lines.

Warnings: talks of physical abuse lots of angst but ends in fluffy goodness

Word Count: 2100

Noah Master List

You couldn't believe it. Of all the places in the world, the final show of the tour had to be in your home town. Noah had warned you about this, but you didn't think it would affect you so much.

You found yourself wandering around the venue, feeling like a ghost, while Bad Omens rocked the stage. This place was haunted by your past. You had so many memories here, some that made you smile and some that made you shiver.

You remembered the day Noah left Virginia, the day your best friend ripped your heart out. You sobbed when he hugged you goodbye, but you also cheered him on.

You wanted him to follow his dreams, even if it meant leaving you behind. You wanted to go with him, but you had things to finish in Richmond, things that couldn't wait.

You sighed as you walked to the merch section, looking for comfort in the colorful shirts. Buying new shirts from all the tours was your guilty pleasure. You told Noah once that you would make a quilt out of them someday, a quilt that would keep you warm and remind you of him when you couldn't tour with the band.

"Y/n?"

You spin around and freeze. There he is, the monster who ruined your life, the one you thought was locked up for good. Your heart sinks to your stomach, and you feel sick as your memories flood. How could this happen? Why did you have to bump into him here, of all places?

Why couldn't Noah be by your side to protect you from him? Your hands tremble as you back away, wishing you could vanish.

You try to speak, but your throat is dry, and your voice is gone.

He moves closer to you, a wicked grin on his face. He pretends he didn't do anything wrong, he didn't send you to the hospital with broken bones and bruises, and he didn't make you fear every man who looked at you.

"It's so nice to see you I-, I went by your parent's house last year. I wanted to apologize for, you know, things that happened in the past." He bites his lip. You can tell he's nervous, but you don't know if the regret in his voice is being faked or not, "I've changed a lot." He tells you.

You shake your head in disbelief, "Fuck you!" You roughly say. "You don't get to walk back into my life and say shit to me." You turn to walk away, feeling your adrenaline rush. Who did he think he was? Did he really think an apology would make you swoon and forgive him?

You feel a hand grab your wrist, and he pulls you back to him. You feel like you did all those years ago, "I've changed. I'm sorry for what I did. I went through therapy, and they said the best thing I could do was ask for forgiveness. It's part of the program I'm in. I'm not heavy in addiction anymore. I don't even know that person, and I'm so ashamed! Please just listen to me. Please, I'm sorry."

You feel your body tremble as you pull your wrist out of his grasp, "You knew I'd be here, didn't you?" You look down at his hand that’s reaching for you again. You quickly swat it away, "Don't fucking touch me. If my boyfriend sees you, of all people even near me, you will end up in the hospital."

He nods knowingly. "I know you're dating Noah now. I'm not here to step on your toes. I just need you to forgive me." He desperately says like this was the last thing on his list before he could move on.

You snap your head back, shocked by his words, baffled by how he could ever expect you to forgive him. “You don’t deserve a fucking thing from me.” You hissed. “I hate you. You shattered me beyond repair. You twisted me, and I could never heal from what you did. You wrecked all my chances of happiness, you ruined what I could’ve been for Noah, and you dare to ask for my forgiveness?” You snarl through gritted teeth. “You think you’re worthy of that?” You pause, feeling your jaw clench. “I hope you die with the guilt of what you did. I hope it torments you every time you touch another woman.” Your eyes fill with tears, “But most of all, I hope everyone you love abandons you.”

You see his eyes turn black, and before you can react, his hand is flying towards your face, just like old times. You shut your eyes, bracing for the pain, but relax when you hear a familiar voice, "Whoa there, buddy. What the fuck is it that you think you're doing?" You hear Steven's voice ring in your ears, and you open your eyes to see that Steven has David's arm in his hand over your head. He roughly throws it aside and quickly pushes you behind him. "I don't know who the fuck you are...but I suggest you get the fuck out of here before I cause a scene."

Steven wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as he walks away from David. He looks down at you feeling your body slightly shaking still, "I'm not going to ask if you're OK because obviously, you're not, but who the fuck was that and do we need security to follow you around from now on?"

You shake your head no, your eyes landing on the ground as you walk, "He'd nobody, and I don't want to talk about it."

Steven nods understandingly, "Let me walk you back to the bus. I'll know you're safe there, and I'll let Noah know where you are, okay?"

"I don't really want Noah to know about this." You say sheepishly.

Steven bites his lip, knowing he's about to say something you won't like, "You know I can't do that."

You take a deep breath, "I know."

After the show, Steven immediately finds Noah to talk to him about what he witnessed.

Noah clenches his fists as Steven tells him what he saw. “I don’t know who the bastard was, she wouldn’t tell me. She shut me out, and I didn’t want to push her.”

He wishes he could have been there instead of Steven, but he’s grateful to him for stepping in and stopping the assault before it happened. He knows if he had been there and seen a man try to hurt you, he’d lose it. He’d end up in jail, but he wouldn’t regret it. He’d smile in his mug shot, knowing he did the right thing. Whether you were his girlfriend or not, you would always be safe with him.

Before Noah opens the bus door, he takes a deep breath. He asked the others to leave you alone for a while before they came to check on you. He wanted to make sure you were okay, or at least not falling apart.

He knew you hated showing your vulnerability in front of anyone. Even with him, you tried to act strong and hide your pain. He opens the door, scanning the bus for you. He doesn’t see you anywhere until he hears a faint whimper from the bunk area. His heart breaks at the sound of your cry.

Noah walks softly toward the noise, stopping in the middle of the hallway. He sees you lying in his bunk, staring blankly at the ceiling. He notices the tear stains on your cheeks and the redness in your eyes.

You don’t look at him as he kneels by the side. He gently reaches for your hand, making you flinch out of your daze. Noah wants to kill the man who did this to you. He wants to smash things and yell at the world. He wants to make the pain go away. You didn’t deserve this. How could anyone be so cruel to you?

"Baby," he coos while brushing your hair out of your face, "What can I do to help?"

You tilt your head finally looking him in the eyes. You wipe your burning cheeks and turn on your side, patting the spot next to you.

He nods and slides into the bunk beside you, wrapping his arms around you as you snuggle close. He tenderly strokes your hair as you cry into his chest, letting out all the emotions that have been bottled up inside you. He holds you firmly, making you feel safe and loved in his embrace.

“I don’t want to feel this way.” You say in a shaky voice. “It’s like every time I think I’m healing, something triggers me, and I feel worthless and broken. The voice in the back of my head…” You pause, gasping for air, “It keeps telling me I’m not good enough, and I want to be good enough for you, but I’m so damaged, and I know you’ll leave me too because I don’t deserve you.”

Noah’s face twists with confusion and pain, wondering how you could ever doubt yourself so much. “Y/n…” He says softly, pulling away from you slightly, lifting your chin, and making you look into his eyes, “I will never leave you.” He kisses your nose and smiles gently, “If you ever want to break up with me, that’s your decision, but I’ll do everything in my power to keep you. I was serious when I said I was going to marry you someday. I know you might have thought it was a joke, I mean we were only fourteen, but I meant it with all my heart.” He says, pulling you back to his chest. “Was it David?”

He feels you nod your head against his chest. “Yeah.” You whisper, barely audible.

Noah feels his blood boil, he’d heard rumors from your friends about what he did to you, and he remembered the hospital visits, the bruises and the scars. You didn’t tell him the truth back then, but you opened up to him before you became official, just in case he changed his mind.

He kisses your forehead and whispers, “ I’m sorry he hurt you. I’m so sorry he made you feel this way. But you’re not alone. I’m here for you, always. I love you more than you can imagine. You’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re amazing. And I’m not going anywhere, I promise. You’re stuck with me.”

You feel his words warm your heart, and you wrap your arms around him, holding him tight. You feel a flicker of hope, a spark of happiness. You smile and say, “I love you. Thank you for being here and being you. I’m not going anywhere either, I promise. You’re stuck with me, too.”

He laughs and hugs you closer, feeling a wave of relief and joy. “Sounds perfect to me. We’re going to be OK, you know that, right? We’re going to get through this together. We’re going to have a happy ending.”

You nod and kiss his chest, feeling loved. “I believe you. We’re going to be OK. We’re going to have a happy ending.” You repeat.

He nods and kisses your hair, feeling love and hope. I love you, Y/n."

“I love you, Noah. I love you more than words can say.” You cuddle up to him, feeling his heartbeat, warmth, and love. You close your eyes, feeling worn out from all the emotions of the day, and drift off to sleep, feeling safe and happy in his arms.

You dream of a better future with him, where you’re both happy and free—a future with only happy endings.

Tags: @thisbicc @yumikitten @lma1986 @chemicallady