#something about the way they perceive themselves that they are unwilling to look at. but also i think they've had one like...

[archivalofsins]

I love Milgram for a lot of reasons.

One of those reasons is the light that the series has managed to shine on mental health issues, disabilities, and many overlooked disorders. Milgram, through it's encouraging of speculative discussion, has showcased that in many ways people still have a lot to learn about not only those they share space with but themselves.

I love the ways in which people use Milgram to highlight the myriad of perspectives people perceive life through. Still, it's important to take a step back and recognize the experiences fans speculatively discuss in relations to the prisoners are in fact the lived experiences of many. Including individuals within this fandom. At times even I need to step back and recognize that regardless of my own personal experiences and diagnoses my perspective is not universal. My diagnoses on their own do not define who I am.

In the same vein, my experiences having them do not define the disgnoses themselves. It's easy to talk about one's own personal experiences with certainty. However, for me, I feel it's important to research things efficiently before speaking on them out of respect for the people who live with the things discussed. Speculation is all well and good as long as people are treating the subject matter they discuss with respect and consideration. It's easy to get caught up in our own views of the world and how certain things impact us personally but that's no reason to devalue others experiences while simultaneously displaying one's lack of interest in their own point.

If it is as important as some individuals at times present their points to be, then researching it properly is the least an individual can do. Not just for others if someone is presenting the information but for ones own benefit.

To avoid properly researching something is to fear being proven wrong more than knowing the truth. People afraid of learning should not teach. Especially when it comes to topics as important as the ones discussed within the Milgram fandom. At the same time, if one is unwilling to look for facts themselves, instead just accepting what is most readily available to them as fact have robbed themselves of experiencing the joy of forming their own unique opinion.

A lot of the discussions in the Milgram fandom are important. However, a discussion isn't only listening blindly its taking the considerations of others and researching for oneself for the benefit of themselves. If a person doesn't want to do that, they don't need to or have to. Sometimes, it's just fun to speculate, but if that fun is at the expense of another's lived experience or comes with misinformation attached, that could cause problems down the line for everyone.

I don't know the proper solution to this issue- Heck, I don't even know if it's an issue at all. My thoughts in this regard may be too serious. At the end of the day, what everyone is doing is all in good fun. However, I believe genuinely getting to know the experiences and perspectives of those around us can be fun. I genuinely believe learning about these things can be enjoyed. I enjoy researching these things.

So, I hope that learning more is eventually considered just as fun as speculating is.

[stranger-rants]

Actually, to contextualize racism in the United States for Stranger Things fans, you all should read about the Newark Riots which happened in the late 60s.

My family is white. My parents are white. They grew up in New Jersey at this time, in an ethnically diverse neighborhood where the majority of their school classmates were black. Poverty rates were high, and whites with money had already fled those areas. The riots happened due to the extreme disenfranchisement of black people in the United States. Not wanting poor whites to organize and support black people protesting their conditions, white politicians intentionally sewed discord among poor white people and poor black people. So, it became an us vs. them situation. My parents did have friends outside of their race, but they also experienced a lot of violence that negatively impacted their perception of race. That’s something growing up that I had to grapple with and I had a lot to learn and unlearn, including understanding that prejudice against a white minority in this context is not the same thing as systemic racism.

This system made it easier for affluent whites to avoid criticism for their own racist actions, where their contribution to systemic racism was in the voting booth and in the pockets of racist politicians instead of on the streets. So, they could maintain their clean appearance while being responsible for the extreme disenfranchisement of black people. This is what racism in the north looked like, and in areas perceived as more progressive like California. This context is important to understand when you think individual characters are stand ins for systemic racism when it’s quiet clear, politically, that the existence of Hawkins and its white majority are a result of decades of white flight to that area, redlining in cities preventing black people from moving, and WASP conservatism. It’s no accident that the Sinclairs are one of the few black families in Hawkins.

I don’t think The Duffers intended to represent this. I think this is a result of white men who grew up in a largely white community, recreating the nostalgia of their childhood which was… a white fantasy. It’s why they say they wanted to deal with racism by bringing Billy onto the scene, and it’s easy to get upset at Billy pushing Lucas, even going to the extreme of arguing he was going to kill him (which he wasn’t), because it’s so visible, but Billy is one person and racism is systemic. At the same time, they’re seemingly unwilling to address or maybe just ignorant to the fact that Hawkins really is a racist town. The uncritical Reagan signs in the Wheeler’s front yard are 80s nostalgia decoration, not meant to call into question the kind of political environment the Wheeler children are being raised into - because they’re the heroes, they can’t be racist! That’s bad!

The problem with decontextualizing racism in Hawkins by making Billy the scapegoat for it becomes clearer in the last season when Billy is no longer around. Whether they intended to or not, they show how racist Hawkins actually is with how easily they form a lynch mob against children. While they shift their focus onto the D&D nerds (because they just have to victimize themselves through their stand in characters), Lucas and Erica become the primary target of that lynch mob in scenes that graphically evoke racist lynch mobs in American history. The narrative doesn’t address this in any way as evidence that Hawkins in racist, even going on to sanitize Hawkins in the wake of Eddie’s death by showing everyone coming together after a tragedy - a tragedy they contributed to. The end result is that many fans with no understanding of racism in America completely miss the racist undertones within the 80s nostalgia the Duffers created.

Long story short, we can talk about the racism of individual characters but it is a systemic issue and it is present in Hawkins. It’s never a good idea to decontextualize racism or any other systemic issue to blame it on individual “bad people” while promoting the white fantasy of the respectable suburb full of good white people who turned to violence because they just didn’t understand what was happening and those kids were “acting suspicious.” Nope. They’re racist, too. It’s just packaged nicer.

[vacantgodling]

🔥💜💋🧀🗺️for someone from TCOL!!

AHHHH THANK YOU!!! i think i'll use a randomizer for this since there's so many characters LMAO 👀 and look who we got--a blorbo i never get to talk about in depth <3

🔥Who was their first love? How did it turn out?

for erik, his first love was probably a girl that he knew back when he was growing up on diisai. i personally can't be assed to make a name for this random girl bc she's really not that important (as far as i can currently tell and unless i decide to shoot myself in the foot by making her important in some regard--) but they grew up together and learned the Diisaian long bow together, and they were always competing to see who would be the best at it. it was usually neck and neck and if it wasn't for her, erik probably wouldn't be as good an archer as he is today bc she constantly pushed him to get better. it wasn't really meant to be in a romantic sense though, she ended up falling for a different person in their village, and when the two got together, that's when erik finally decided that maybe he should leave home and try to make something of himself. he hasn't talked to hear in nearly 10 years at this point.

💋How romantic do they expect their partner(s) to be in a relationship? Is it a deal-breaker if expectations aren’t met?

well erik is a Bit of a glutton for punishment. he never really expects people to care as much about him as he cares about them. so it wouldn't be a TOTAL deal breaker if his partner wasn't particularly romantic or wasn't on the same level as him--he'd still treat them the same and respect their boundaries. but it does hurt him a little bit, sort of depending on what the things his partner doesn't want to do and doesn't care for are. he's definitely the kind of guy to suffer through a marriage for a decade or more and be totally unhappy but unwilling to let it go because he cares about the person. he should really want better for himself is kind of what i'm saying lol.

💜Do they have a “type” of person they tend to date?

unfortunately erik isn't very good at the actually getting into a relationship part of falling in love/having a crush. i think in his life he's had... 5 people he's really care about in some capacity. which would be the aforementioned longbow girl, miona, galen, fiametta, and dion. so i think if i compare all of those people: erik tends to fall for people who are capable in some way; prowess and capability tend to be turn ons for him. he's not like a full "please step on me" kind of person, but he does also tend to like people who have strong personalities and who are confident in themselves in some way. he's attracted to people who "don't need him" in some ways, and part of that is probably a little bit of self inflicted punishment, though he's not really intending to do that to himself, he just is a bit of a glutton for punishment. however, none of the people who he's ever liked would say that about him, that's just how he perceives things lol.

🧀What’s their cheesiest romantic fantasy? Do they want to recreate it in real life?

hmmm... the MOST ridiculous fantasy that he has would be someone picking him over someone else. like, lets say he's in love with person a and person a is in a relationship/bond with person b. he'd want person a to suddenly realize that they're in love with him and then leave person b to be with him. he realizes its definitely a bit messed up and he would never wish heartbreak on someone like that so he wouldn't want that to happen irl. but he can't help but daydream about it sometimes; being someone's first choice.

🗺️What are some cultural customs surrounding love and romance that they practice?

that's a very good question! i have to think more about some of the finer, nitty gritty details about how love and courtship and all that stuff goes, but i do know that diisai and kiskkaddon both have different practices around love and courtship because they splintered off from the rest of terranean society early on in its development. when i do figure it out tho there will be a post about it haha

[bylertruther]

Im like slash gen confused on the gnc debate like what sparked this. Will is canonically the most visibly gay out of everyone in the show according TO the show, so why are people so against it? Like I get headcannoning mike as gnc but that doesn’t take away or mean that Will isn’t bc he canonically is. I’m Actually confused

I wish I knew lmao. People think that calling him that or acknowledging the misogyny involved in being assumed to be gay due to a perceived lack of masculinity is somehow homophobic and enforcing stereotypes. As if refusing to acknowledge a very real phenomenon that still occurs now and thus insinuating that "those" kinds of gay people are invalid is somehow morally correct lmao.

Will is the ONLY character who is called all of the many slurs he faces and he's the only character we've seen be targeted for his sexuality. Will has never done anything with boys—he doesn't get called a fairy because of that, he gets called a fairy because of the way he acts and how he exists outside of what Hawkins deems to be acceptable masculinity.

We know that he's a sensitive kid who isn't like anyone else and who gets made fun of. They call him names and they make fun of his clothes among other things. The words used to describe him—gentle, soft spoken, sensitive, artistic—were all euphemisms for gay (and still are in some places, since the internet does not reflect real life and we do not live in a homophobia-rid utopia). Like, this is part of his character design. Those are the words of the Duffers themselves. He's the only character that experiences any of that. If you want to consider actor opinion, too, Noah has spoken for years about how Will feels like he doesn't fit in anywhere, that he's sensitive, scared of everything, he's the one that takes care of his friends emotionally, and so on and so forth.

I don't know why it's such a big issue or why it's something so many people are, like... unwilling to even consider. Men get called gay whenever they're deemed "not masculine enough." Nonconforming behavior is a part of Will's homosexuality and that nonconforming behavior is what clued the people of Hawkins in to who he is. They could've just called him a twerp, or called him a nerd the way they do Mike, but they don't. Instead, they call him gay and a fairy and his father calls him the f slur and he has people ranging from his peers to adults talking about his sexuality. Like, not even Robin gets that treatment lol. Will is literally the only one, and they went out of their way to show us that first thing.

Will isn't a stereotype. Not being super masculine does not equal being super feminine. Gender nonconformity is not about just what you look like, and it's based on your society's values as a whole, not your personal leftist values. Feminine gay men exist and have done so much for our community, and seeing people inadvertently hate on them online makes me wanna throw bricks. Headcanons are not canon, and discussing canon is not a diss to anyone's headcanons because those are two different discussions.

This was one of those things that I naively thought everyone knew only to post about it online and receive so much hate about it. People get really defensive when you talk about how Mike is canonically written. The same thing would happen whenever I'd post in support of Mike with a sword. People really act like you're disrespecting them personally and get super petty and spiteful, and I don't get it. Have your headcanon if you want, but don't get upset that it's just that: a headcanon.

The Duffers nor Finn speak about Mike the way they do, and the behavior Mike has exhibited on screen does not support the wimpy, meek, known by everyone to be gay caricature that they cling to and suggest is actually canon. If it was JUST a headcanon to them, then they wouldn't get so upset about it, but they do. They don't like the way Mike's sexuality has been depicted thus far, and now it's everyone else's problem, too.

There's more than one way to be gay, and those experiences help shape who we are. Will has never fit in and instead has always stuck out. The fact that he's never been allowed inside, so to speak, is why he tries his best to embrace/explore his otherness and clings to people who can make him feel better for being different. Mike has always been Wrong—deemed a nerd, then a hellion, then a satanist—but he's able to blend in well enough to not be found out. He gets mocked and bullied, but at least he can pass as straight and be targeted for that instead of his sexuality. He still has a shot at conforming and playing by the rules, even if it isn't fulfilling or something that comes naturally to him. This is in part why he became so attached to Eleven and why he struggles to accept that he can still be worthy without her.

I just... I don't know, man. I'm confused, too, lol.

[mwolf0epsilon]

I posted 6,763 times in 2022

That's 638 more posts than 2021!

875 posts created (13%)

5,888 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@british-hero

@gaeasun

@lost-on-kamino

@laz-laz-ace-pilot

I tagged 6,295 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#star wars - 4,023 posts

#the clone wars - 3,057 posts

#captain rex - 514 posts

#funny - 460 posts

#humor - 460 posts

#rex - 455 posts

#clone ocs - 433 posts

#commander cody - 412 posts

#the bad batch - 397 posts

#arc trooper fives - 391 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but end up causing a massive problem instead because they didn't consider the fact clones name themselves after either animals or concepts?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I've seen a lot of people headcanon that Echo would have his iconic handprint tattooed on his chest after joining the Bad Batch, but I personally think if he got a tattoo that's not gonna be visible, it wouldn't be his one link to the 501st. If anything he'd want to display the handprint proudly like he had in the past.

After thinking hard about it, I finally decided on a tattoo that felt in line with Echo's personality specifically. Something personal that mostly stays hidden away but that he knows is there and is comforting to him.

Fives's Rishi Eel design is thusly tattooed on his back, and painted over his spinal cybernetic implants. That way he can, in a way, always have his closest brother watching his back. Even from beyond the grave.

350 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#4

Saudade: A deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for something or someone that one cares for and/or loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never be had again.

As much as the Coruscant Guard may have become Dogma's found family, a part of him will always long for his 501st brothers. Especially a certain clone with a teardrop tattoo...

Tulpa may not be Tup, but he sure reminds Dogma a lot of his lost twin... The renegade rookie will make sure his ad'ika grows up to be happy and free.

353 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#3

The other day I was looking at some screenshots from the Umbara Arc because I was trying to get a lay of the land, so to speak, as I wanted to write about Lich's experiences prior to finding his way back to a now fallen Republic and rising Empire... And three specific frames caught my attention due to very small details.

The first one is when Krell threatens Fives with his lightsaber.

Lightsabers are plasma conduits. They can slice and cauterise at the same time. Using them to threaten someone into compliance like this is a promise to use them rather than a bluff.

Even with his armour on, Fives can likely feel the heat of the blade against his neck and shoulder. This is more than enough reason to go from mild apprehension around Krell to full on distrusting him, because the clones know the Jedi only use their lightsabers when they need to. And only against what they perceive as hostiles that are unwilling to negotiate surrender.

Krell using his lightsaber to threaten someone was an immediate red flag, and Fives knew it.

The second screenshot that caught my attention was when Rex was holding Krell at gunpoint to execute him.

See the full post

548 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#2

Commander Fox on his way to get some caf!

A discussion on discord ended with this lovely image that I had to materialise into the digital plane. Sometimes you just gotta shred it on a board while wearing an animal onesie and severely sleep deprived.

729 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sometimes I think about how Kix had a near mental breakdown in Umbara due to the stress of trying to keep his brothers alive, only to realise he can't do anything to save them.

I also think about how we saw Rex collapse in near tears after he realises Krell tricked the clones into killing each other, just because he could. How, after Umbara, his next destination was Kadavo...

I think about how Dogma went against his own beliefs due to betrayal, and subsequently went into a state of shock because of the weight of the situation he suddenly found himself in. How Rex nodding at him in approval and respect was likely the last kindness anyone ever extended to him.

I think of Slick acting out violently against both Jedi and clones alike, working into the hands of the Separatists because he didn't feel like there was any other escape against the chains he suddenly saw around his neck and wrists.

I think about how Fives struggled uselessly against circumstances well outside his control when it came to protecting his brothers from certain doom, knowing fully well that he had very likely never gotten over the loss of Echo, and that he'd taken it upon himself to be a protector at the expense of his own relatively short life.

I think of Jesse in the aftermath of Maul's invasive mind probing, of how weak and vulnerable he sounded when talking to Rex because he felt like a failure in that very moment. How he was struggling against the chip when Rex was practically begging him to spare Ahsoka and that maybe, just maybe, had he not been captured by Maul his mental shields would have been strong enough to resist like his captain had...

I think of how Echo who was blown up, tortured, abused, left to look like a shell of his former self that he barely recognises, and who's struggling but pushing forward despite having lost almost everything and everyone he once knew and loved. How it's very likely that he'll eventually die never coming to terms with what happened to himself, and that he'll always feel like less than a man because it's how others treat him.

I think of Wolffe, years after Order 66, struggling with intense fear, guilt, and paranoia, trying to keep his only remaining family safe and accidentally hurting them and others in the process, because he's stuck living in a past that's yet to be explored but that we can assume is crushing him. Wolffe who is, without a doubt, a shadow of the former commander that had served proudly besides his Jedi. Who had always been and always will be a survivor of terrible things.

I think of Gregor who's suffered head injuries at least thrice, got blown up and been left with mental health issues, and who was still very willing to extend his aid and kindness to those around him because he took what he got and accepted it with a smile and a defiant spark to the very end...

I think about all these and more. And it makes me wish the clones had had better than what they ended up with...

1,029 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[transamorousnetwork]

Why Trans And Trans-Attracted People Are So Scary

It’s not about us. It’s about them.

The world is a scary place for most people. Even those who think they’re not scared, are. If they’re not scared of life, they’re scared of their own death. Which makes them afraid to take what they perceive are big risks. Like following their passions or living authentically.

This also explains why people express conservative views. There’s a fear underlying trying to keep things the way they are. Or keeping things the same or stable. Or the way things used to be. 

So when a transgender person or a trans-attracted person shows up, that person threatens stability conservative people create in order to feel safe. Furthermore even transgender people can express conservatism. Especially in relationships. Many are unwilling to expand their understanding of trans-attracted men beyond what they think they know about us.

A person who feels they’re progressive can also slip into conservative thinking if presented with something too progressive, for example. Especially if that thing presented has an impact on the person’s view of themselves. Especially if their self-view depends on how others view them. Particularly when “others” means one’s own peer group. This especially holds true for “oppressed” groups and their members.

Black power masking weakness

I once attended a Clubhouse conversation on racism, hosted by a prominent black activist. This prominent person enjoyed notoriety among black people. Especially so on this social platform. Not long into the conversation, another person of color spoke. He said he didn’t think racism was a real thing. He described how, instead, racist views represented a moral injury. “Racists” in his view were morally-injured people. Their injuries sustained from within their families of origin.

When I agreed aloud, the momentum was too much for the prominent activist. She signed off of the conversation. Before doing so she expressed discomfort over the conversation’s direction.

The activist went “conservative” on matters of race and blackness. For her, shibboleths had been violated. She couldn’t bear hearing our perspective. One held by people who looked like her.

Often power masks insecurity, weakness and intolerance. It doesn’t matter if that power is borne from experiencing oppression. It’s a shaky power that crumbles in the face of a divergent opinion. Especially if that power can’t welcome and embrace new ideas. Particularly ideas that may be disagreeable.

Nearly everyone is susceptible to expressing conservative thinking. Especially when it comes to their opinions about life. No one is immune. Not even transgender people. Or trans-attracted people.

We represent possibility

Meanwhile, transgender and trans-attracted people exemplify an expansion of human consciousness. That expansion sometimes even threatens transgender and trans-attracted people! Yes, the same people expressing the expansion!

That’s the divine paradox of human expansion. In all cases, those exemplifying the expansion do it, primarily, for themselves. Which explains why so many trans-attracted men AND TRANSGENDER WOMEN struggle accepting they are trans-attracted or transgender. The story is the same for both groups. Both are learning self-acceptance while offering the same lessons to those around them.

^^The possibility of expansion is a gift we give ourselves…if we’re willing to accept it.

For non-binary people it’s the same. 

We all came to the world to choose freely. We came to create our world and the world around us in our image. Meaning, according to our unique perspective. We came to live our way. Not to regurgitate ways others already explored and express. We are All That Is seeing new and diverse freedoms that push outward our self-imposed boundaries.

And in doing that we help All That Is become more and human expression to evolve in line with that. 

Radical self-acceptance is divinity expressed

And in doing THAT we confront those who struggle with their own, personal expansionism. More so for those stuck in lack-of-self-acceptance. Or worse, those trying to create the past out of fear and insecurity of a future that threatens a rigid belief system.

The glorious thing about being WHO we are is the inherent glory of WHAT we are: expression of creativity, moving, living examples of what’s possible for ourselves and for others. It can be hard accepting that others resist what we are. It doesn’t have to be though.

That resistance can be scary for some. But it needn’t be scary either. The answer to the fear is not legislation, or coercing or forcing others to accept us. The answer lies in radical self-acceptance. Then one emanates then attracts acceptance from others. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will happen, guaranteed.

Some in our community think the world around them objectively presents challenges separate from what’s happening within them. That’s never the case. The outside world is a reflection of one’s inner condition. Figure that out and the world becomes our oyster. Then, everything is possible.

Those who don’t understand this think I blame people for their experiences. Such an expression only shows how little such people understand how the world works and what and who they are.

The good news: Ignorance is always temporary. Choose illumination.

[luciditaes]

hal vc: i dont know how to make good decisions in dating and at this point i’m too afraid to ask

[your-astro-mami]

The 1st House Ruler and your identity

The first House or your Ascendant/Rising sign represents your character, your self and everything that is a part of you, including your physical body and appearance.

The planet that rules your 1st House is highly important - what it represents is greatly connected to your identity, its the most influential energy in your chart.

How to find the planet ruling your 1st House?

Look at the sign on your 1st House/Ascendant and the planet it is ruled by:

Aries - Mars, Taurus - Venus, Gemini - Mercury, Cancer - Moon, Leo - Sun, Virgo - Mercury, Libra - Venus, Scorpio - Mars,Pluto, Sagittarius - Jupiter, Capricorn - Saturn, Aquarius - Uranus, Pisces - Neptune.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is the Sun:

You exude courage and confidence. You are warm, inviting, give people the energy you want to receive. Your world revolves around you, at times you may feel like other people's worlds have to revolve around you too. You can be authorative, you were likely very influenced by your father or male figures in your life. You are inspiring ro yourself and others.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is the Moon:

You are emotive, you are likely to face changes quite often, there can be lack of stability, you may be very reactive and sensitive to your surroundings and other people. You are highly empathetic, you like to nurture others, understand them, make them feel better. You are focused on caring about yourself and others, maybe even prioritize others at times. You are a person who feels like home. You may experience a lot of daily travelling or movement (for duties, job.)

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Mercury:

Your personality revolves around your intellect - you are a curious person who wants to understand everything they face. You are intelligent and quick-witted (If your Ascendant is Virgo, you may have a dry but smart sense of humor). You like to talk, share your thoughts and opinions. You like to play the devil's advocate and at times defend others just for the sake of it. You have great memory and good ability to collect information.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Venus:

You exude beauty and harmony, you bring peace wherever you go. You are charismatic and have the ability to make people like you without much work. You are influenced by the feminine figures in your life. You like to see and represent the beauty in life, you like to bring things together, you like to appeal to everyone and visualize the world as a beautiful place to be.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Mars:

You are dominant and assertive. You like things to go your way. You may have a troubled temper, inability to stay patient, you are expressive of your dissatisfaction or irritation. You can be prone to violence - it can be expressed in different ways, it's not always direct. You are very competitive, you are bold and brave, you have the courage to do things others may be afraid of. You aren't afraid to face your fears. You are a warrior at heart.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Jupiter:

You are born with luck, throughout your life you are likely to meet many people who are willing to help you and guide you through anything. You attract opportunities and now matter how hard the situation you're in might be, there will always be a way out. You are wiser than your age, you learn through other people's experiences, you love freedom and knowledge. You receive double the amount of what you give.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Saturn:

While Jupiter represents positive growth from experience, Saturn can show th growth we have from suffering, from hardships and what we've been through. You are a dedicated person who is persistent, unwilling to give up no matter how hard it is. You may feel restricted, limited, blocked from certain experiences in life - like something is holding you back. Despite the downs and sorrow you may experience, you must know that you have the strength of two people combined, you are the person who builds their own life's structure.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Uranus:

You are an innovator, you are a person sent from the future, a stranger in a strange land. No one knows what to expect from you, you are the hidden genius - you may be misunderstood often, people rarely have the same perspective as you. You are an unconventional person, you have a distinctive way of presenting yourself, of being. You live in the future, you look foward to the way things will be, not how they are or were. You are bold, unapologetically yourself and unafraid of how you're perceived.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Neptune:

You represent glamour - but in the untouchable, far-away type of way. You give an illusion about yourself that could be very different from reality - whether it's intentional or not. You are vulnerable and may often view the world and others in a deluded way - you may think things are better or worse than they are. You have a very strong inutuition and are likely to follow your heart.

If the planet ruling your 1st House is Pluto:

Even if you are quiet your presence is always noticed. You may experience things intensely - everything that has happened has influenced you in one way or another. Life feels like a constant transformation - big changes are made quite often, for better or for worse. You are strong-willed, you have tough-skin and the ability to overcome anything.

The House your chart ruler is in and which area of your life has the biggest impact on your identity:

Example: Kim Kardashian has Sagittarius on the 1st House Cusp/Ascendant. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter. Her Jupiter is in the 10th House.

1st House ruler in the 1st House:

Similarly to the Sun, your world revolves around you. You are a very self-focused person. You are true to yourself. You may be seen as selfish, but you prioritize yourself. You are likely focuse on self-improvement throughout life. You are the face of your own brand. You are very connected to your body.

1st House ruler in the 2nd House:

Your identity is focused on the way you support yourself, your values and what brings value into your life and character. You may be seen and vain or materialistic, because you understand the worth of money. You have a strong sense of self-worth. You can sometimes be passive or avoidant of action. You like having stability, a pattern, you might be a creature of habit.

1st House ruler in the 3rd House:

You are a communicative person with a strong need to express yourself. Your siblings or neighbourhood have influenced you. You are a person who feels responsible for their community. You are creative and have the ability to transform any information in a useful way. You may often have short trips.

1st House ruler in the 4th House:

You are someone who is very connected to their roots, their home and family. Your family has had the biggest influence on your identity. You are a very home-oriented person who looks for parts of their home wherever they go. You may have traditional values or values taught from your family. Your life may revolve around homes, properties, ancestry.

1st House ruler in the 5th House:

They are constantly inspired - a very creative individual. They are great with children. Their life may revolve around anything that brings them pleasure and makes them feel good - relationships, hobbies. They have a strong need to express their creativity, to show off a product of theirs, to be proud of something in their life. They are a person who is very fun to be around, someone that brings out other people's best side and inspires them.

1st House ruler in the 6th House:

Another creature of habit, of routine. Their work and work environment is highly important when it comes to how they generally feel. Happy wife, happy life, but make the wife your work. They can be very health-conscious and keep a steady healthy lifestyle (if they have time). They are prone to health problems especially ones that come from stress (again, work-related) - especially headaches. They are very responsible and reliable.

1st House ruler in the 7th House:

You are very influenced by your relationships with other people. People with this placement tend to mirror other people's characteristics unintentionally. They are very considerate people, very willing to compromise in order to keep a good relationship with everyone. They tend to attract and be attracted to people similar to them. They are very diplomatic and have a natural good sense for business.

1st House ruler in the 8th House:

A very private, secretive person, who can often lack trust in other people. May be very money-focused. They value truth, they have the ability to face everything, every topic no matter how uncomfortable it is. They seek power, validation, to have any kind of impact. They aren't afraid of the darkness of the world.

1st House ruler in the 9th House:

A person very focused on knowledge, education or generally the complex matters in life. These are the people who are focused on gaining experience throughout life, undertaning different perspectives, travelling and mastering any topic that peaks their interest. This is a great position for a guru, a political leader, a professor, someone who has responsibility on a greater level.

1st House ruler in the 10th House:

They can be someone who is well-known, who has a large reputation and is known by a lot of people., especially from their career and what they do professionally. Their personal identity is influenced by their field of work. They are good at self-marketing, how they present themselves, carefully building their own image.

1st House ruler in the 11th House:

Another house that can show fame - more specifically fame from a following, from building an audience, networking. Their identity is influenced by their friend groups. They are a people's person, who seeks support from others. They often think for the good of a larger group of people, they can be very selfless.

1st House ruler in the 12th House:

Possibly the biggest sign of an introvert, someone more focused on their inner world than their surroundings. While it can show that you can be prone to isolating yourself, it can also show that your time alone is your most productive and joyful time (depending on the aspects). There people are highly intuitive, very close to the spiritual world.

[gentil-minou]

Sorry if this is a super random question but in your ml psychology, you've stated that Adrien is abused. And I just want to know if being unable to express emotions and/or reactions is also another form of form of abuse? Like in Mega Leech, Gabriel dismisses Adrien while he is still explaining. And in Simon Says, Gabriel referred to Adrien as, "way too overly dramatic" despite him expressing concern over his wellbeing. The audience rarely see Adrien react strongly to something whenever Gabriel is around and I think, it's because whenever he does, his father makes him feel ridiculous for reacting in the first place therefore invalidating his emotions

As someone in the same situation as him (though I don't think my family intends any harm,) I just really wanted to know if it's an abuse? Thank you so much!

To be super technical, I would say it falls under this definition of Emotional Neglect (which I would define as emotional abuse), copying and pasting the whole thing cause it summarizes it pretty well.

Emotional Neglect or Rejection

Emotional neglect can be defined as a relationship pattern in which an individual’s affectional needs are consistently disregarded, ignored, invalidated, or unappreciated by a significant other. People in neglectful families are emotionally disconnected from one another, behaving as if they were living on different planets. Parents may have trouble understanding their children’s needs for love, affection, closeness, and support, or they may feel too overwhelmed or powerless to meet these needs on a consistent basis. Neglectful parents usually come from families in which, as children, they were ignored or neglected by their parents. They also may lack emotionally satisfying adult relationships. Forced to rely on themselves for support, afraid of their own dependency needs, and reluctant to admit their pain, these parents are highly ambivalent about their children’s needs, particularly when their children are hurting, crying, or looking for emotional support. They may feel jealous or resentful of their children and may perceive them as excessively demanding and impossible to satisfy. They may be so preoccupied with their own needs that they never consider the children’s point of view. Alternatively, they may feel so angry and resentful about having children that they simply ignore them.

For children, affectional neglect may have devastating consequences, including failure to thrive, developmental delay, hyperactivity, aggression, depression, low self-esteem, running away from home, substance abuse, and a host of other emotional disorders. These children feel unloved and unwanted. They may strive to please others, or they may misbehave to receive the attention they crave. They may withdraw from people and appear uncaring and indifferent. They may be afraid of emotional closeness and may shun intimacy in relationships. They are at risk for emotional problems throughout the rest of their lives. The degree of neglect and the individual vulnerability apparently affect the magnitude of the consequences.

Link to the whole article with citations

Also important to note that this is likely what leads him to not show and hide his feelings from others, not just his father. For instance, in Glaciator 2, we see him hiding from his father and the face he makes is so uncharacteristic of him and just looks wrong, but if this is what he has been learning from it makes sense that Adrien would act this way.

It would also explain why he is so unwilling to talk to Ladybug when she asks him what's wrong. She is trying to get through to him but it is not working, because Adrien himself sees his feelings as unimportant and not worth bringing them up. As a result, he further isolates himself and it makes it challenging for him to be honest and open with them.

I will say that i often see parents who want the best for their kids but have this mindset that their feelings are "overdramatic" or unnecessary, that they aren't worth the time to acknowledge or that they are "just going through a phase." I see this A LOT and lived through it myself but what's important to note is if the parent is 1. forcing the child to isolate from others and not get the support they need (i.e. Garbage when he finds out about Adrien growing close to Marinette and also with Nino) and 2. If they recognize their child is going through something and needs support but refuse to go through it, then, personally, I consider it more like abuse.

There are many genuine cases where parents don't know any better because that's how they were raised but when they speak with a professional and become willing to learn and grow and change for their child. Then I have hope that things can better and I have seen several success stories (myself included).

Gabe has proven time and time again that his son's feelings don't matter to him, the biggest examples of which include Chat Blanc where he does the kdrama mom thing and make mari break up with him and then in Ephemeral which is literally the worst and I hate him fjkdshfdjks.

So yeah, I'd consider it abuse especially when looking at how this has been affecting Adrien's relationships with others.

[rpbetter]

PTSD or C-PTSD?

Hopefully, you’re not one of the muns out there who has slapped a “PTSD” label on your muse(s) for drama only. You are, instead, treating this topic with respect and the realism that comes with that, not only having it accurately impact your muse when it’s convenient and “fun” for you. Well, that respect and realism includes actually knowing and applying the correct diagnosis and symptoms as well.

In your defense, if you have misdiagnosed your muse, common terminology in media and even among trauma sufferers is often just the blanket-statement of PTSD. Also, as the abbreviations imply, they do have things in common. 

To help, I’m going to break down their differences and similarities, then provide some research links including personal accounts to help you get started.

PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder most often comes from a single traumatic event.

What can be a traumatic event can differ widely, and reasonably so; we’re not all the same person, processing events and emotions the same way, or with the same formative life experiences. What might cause PTSD to develop in one person might be processed by another as a frightening or painful incident, but not one that has left them with PTSD. The symptoms, individual, and incident have to all be taken into account.

That being said, some examples would include:

having a severe accident

being mugged or in a store that is robbed

physical or sexual assault

being involved in a shooting, in any way

death of a loved one

an unexpected explosion or sudden, natural event like a mudslide or tornado

a severe natural or man-made disaster (building collapse, mass flooding)

events outside of oneself like witnessing a violent assault, murder, deadly car accidents, terminal illness or injury

Again, it is important to remember that individuals react in individual ways, and as such, their symptoms can express with some variation. Don’t just mimic the same presentations you’ve seen in media, research a variety of real experiences.

However they manifest, key symptoms of PTSD include:

Re experiencing the event by way of nightmares, flashbacks, and repetitive, intrusive, and intensely upsetting images, thoughts, and sensations. This is the most common symptom of PTSD, in which the person involuntarily and vividly relives the trauma.

Avoidance and emotional numbing, going to extremes to avoid not just potential triggers, but also finding any way possible to push memories of the event out of their minds. When the latter occurs and is extreme, the person is trying to feel nothing at all, seeking a path to emotional numbness. That can include substance use and abuse, self-harming, and other harmful behaviors.

Feeling on edge (”Hyperarousal”) is the ultimate inability to relax, constantly looking for threats, perceiving threats that are not to be found, and being easily startled. Some of the common issues with being locked into this state include difficulty sleeping or even insomnia, severe irritability and irrational seeming aggression, angry or aggressive outbursts, and finding concentration difficult to impossible.

Some other things that might develop with PTSD are:

Other mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, and/or phobias

as said above, harmful behaviors like self-harming and substance abuse

physical symptoms like headaches, stomach and digestive upsets, dizziness, and generalized pain

Like all disorders, PTSD is complex. I, again, implore you to research not only information put out by psychiatric professionals but also the experiences of real people.

C-PTSD

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when a person experiences repeated, consistent trauma, especially at an early age.

That doesn’t mean that adults cannot and do not develop C-PTSD, they do, and for a variety of reasons; adult sufferers have the same points of origin in the diagnosis as children do. Additionally, it may take years for someone to seek help, feel their symptoms are severe enough to need to, or be able to extricate themselves from the situation in order to receive help of any kind. They may be an adult by the time this happens.

The important thing to remember about C-PTSD is that it isn’t a single traumatic incident, and you are more likely to have this form of PTSD if the trauma occurred early in life, it was inflicted by someone close to you, and/or was inflicted by someone you still see on a regular basis.

Some good examples to give you the idea include:

ongoing domestic violence

child abuse and/or neglect

being raised by a parent with a severe disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder

repeatedly witnessing violence or abuse

torture

kidnapping

being a part of a cult

being a victim of human trafficking or slavery

It isn’t “complex” because it is always across the board “more severe.” This isn’t simply “even worse PTSD,” and shouldn’t be treated like that. Its source is more complex, the development and embedded varieties of its impact are, and the ongoing treatment is.

Particularly when C-PTSD occurs in childhood, there are lasting effects on a person’s development. They have developed in an environment that constantly has them highly stressed both physically and psychologically, and in which they learn many ways of coping, lessening or negating harm, and so on, that leave them less than optimally functional and integrated in life outside the situation.

While the person has the symptoms of PTSD, they will additionally exhibit:

difficulty developing and/or maintaining relationships of any sort

intense, consistent feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt

problems managing and even understanding their own emotions

suicidal thoughts

dissociation

increased risk-taking behaviors

Those who have had their actual development rerouted to deal with the situations that generate C-PTSD have a higher incidence of physical symptoms, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, and are at higher risk of repeat victimization.

They might go for some time without realizing that their daily experiences are neither the norm nor something sustainable, or how atypical their traumatic experiences were compared to those around them. It can sometimes take a serious life-event (suicide attempt, drug rehab, losing too many jobs, homelessness, or finding themselves in a genuine, loving relationship) for them to fully recognize something is wrong, and even then, their feelings of worthlessness, ingrained lack of self-confidence, and belief that they don’t deserve any better can prevent them from seeking help outside of themselves.

They may also believe that something is just “wrong” with them, that they are innately messed up, or that they have a different mental illness. And the unwillingness to open up to people, relieve events, etc. can additionally leave them unwilling to seek or continue care when they believe they have a different, underlying problem. Again, choosing to deal with this themselves through self-isolating, self-medicating, and seeking only relationships and jobs that will work within the framework of the disorder as it effects them.

Additionally, many sufferers of both C-PTSD and PTSD experience the same sense of societal shaming surrounding mental illness. They may struggle with denial, and refuse to seek assistance due to the stigma and all it entails.

Shared aspects of PTSD and C-PTSD

They’re both, obviously, severe, life-altering trauma experiences and resultant disorders. They both easily make the sufferer feel like the trauma and disorder is impossible or undesirable for others to deal with, that they are not worthy of being in close relationships, among many other similarities in experience living with either disorder regardless of widely varying traumas.

They share psychological and physical impacts, and there is a lot of overlap.

The core symptoms of PTSD are shared with C-PTSD:

relieving the trauma(s)

avoiding and emotional numbing

hyperarousal

The shared physical symptoms can include:

headaches

nausea, stomach ache, and digestive upsets

difficulty sleeping and insomnia

sweating, clamminess

chest pain and difficulty breathing

manifestations of low-grade to severe pain

dizziness

Shared behaviors can include:

difficulty concentrating to outright dissociating

self-harm

substance abuse

being hyper-vigilant, easily startled

may seem to be over-reactive to/in situations that others are perceiving as normal or not that big of a deal due to lower perception of personal emotions and lower emotional regulation

including explosive anger or defensiveness

development of anxiety and depression disorders, the symptoms thereof

Again, both PTSD and C-PTSD are serious disorders caused by trauma, and they both need to be treated with respect and accuracy when written into a character - be that an OC or a canon character. It is unfortunate, but these symptoms and the realities of life with either disorder are often portrayed badly in wider media, and the RPC often imitates what it sees.

PTSD and C-PTSD, like the incidents of trauma that created them (rape, child abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, etc.), are not a plot-point, other point of interest, or a character trait, let alone a “character flaw.” They’re not something you only bring up for attention, to get your muse out of a bad spot, or to add dramatics when you’re bored in a thread. Neither are they something you need to attach to your muse simply to give them A Label. These are, I cannot stress this enough, serious topics, and they deserve to be treated that way.

You can do that by defining which variety of PTSD your muse may actually have, then adding research of both the disorder and how it impacts a variety of real people. Making your muse more realistic and being dedicated to sticking with it.

Below are some links to get you started on research! Please note, the real stories, as well as some information, may be graphic or triggering. Read responsibly.

C-PTSD

Out of the Storm - Personal Stories of C-PTSD 

-Contains real stories from those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Their experiences have a huge range; bullying, childhood neglect and abuse, and sexual abuse and assault.

 I Have Post-Traumatic Stress and Didn’t Know It - and You Might, Too

-Personal story of living, unknowingly, with C-PTSD. An especially great read for writers who have muses who hold a lot of responsibility in their daily lives, who may not realize their experiences are C-PTSD related, etc. Contains discussion of parental emotional abuse, mental illness and childhood trauma, and rape.

What is C-PTSD?

-Excellent resource for detailed breakdowns of C-PTSD giving without a clinical, impersonal tone. The definitions of the disorder itself, symptoms and how it manifests and impacts daily life, and much more. A highly recommended source, and one with further resources on-site.

 11 “Habits” of People Living with C-PTSD

-Short breakdown of C-PTSD, followed by snippets of specific experiences in the words of those living with the disorder, a relatively short article.

PTSD

Rebecca’s Story: Living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

-Personal story of a woman living with PTSD from, in short, being stalked by a co-worker. It’s an excellent article, particularly for how mental illnesses sufferers are treated and portrayed, and how that adds another layer of difficulty to their lives. Obviously, this may be triggering to those who have been stalked, and includes mentions of graphic threats.

My experience of PTSD

-A personal story of medical trauma resulting in PTSD. Many of the PTSD stories you’ll find are from women and involve sexual trauma or harassment, in trying to find a variety of stories, I’ve found this one. By this point, you should be noticing many similarities in these stories, regardless of specific trauma.

Leaving the Battlefield: Soldier Shares Story of PTSD

-So many muses experience PTSD through battle-related incidents, and those depictions are not always accurate in media. This is a personal story about one soldier’s experiences. His perception of PTSD, denial, and shame at having the disorder is something that echoes throughout the previous accounts. So do the similarities of daily struggles to maintain to regular life. Before anyone wants to get Tumblr Nasty about it: there isn’t any “war propaganda” present in this story, the location of it is irrelevant to what you’re supposed to be learning here. It’s literally this man’s experience, don’t.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

-Breakdown of symptoms and causes from Mayo Clinic, so obviously, this is more clinical-minded. Particularly useful for its lists of things like “symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood” and increased risk-factor for other disorders.

I hope this helps you to assess and write more accurately your muses with C-PTSD or PTSD, and to consider these things more fully when having your muse experience a traumatic event in your plots.

-------

Please, remember when you are reading these accounts, and anywhere you might encounter PTSD sufferers; these are REAL PEOPLE. Treat them and their stories with respect. You’ll note that, unlike other posts on this blog, I didn’t advise you to approach the source. Many trauma sufferers won’t be comfortable sharing their experiences for the sake of your creative hobby. You may, at your respectful discretion, discuss this with close friends you know to be impacted by PTSD, just keep in mind that respect, discretion, and only bringing the topic up when they are comfortable with it, with specific questions, is necessary here. These are not fictional characters! Do not write someone’s real experiences into your character, thread, etc. verbatim, that’s...fucked up. Thanks in advance for being responsible, respectful adults, from a real life PTSD sufferer. -Vespertine

[flickeringart]

Neptune in aspect with Mars

(Read my post about Sun and Moon aspecting Neptune and Mercury and Venus aspecting Neptune)

These planets aspecting each other makes for a curious connection, because in a sense, they represent opposing principles; Mars represents the personal drive and the ability to spring to action, the force that works to impose one’s independent will on the world – Neptune represents the inner urge for emotional unity and the religious/spiritual experience of being merged with the source of life. When these planets are in aspect in the natal chart, the personal ability to carry out one’s will is inextricably linked to redemptive longings. Simply put, Mars-Neptune individuals will put their energy into fulfilling the ego ideal, the perfection of potential that existed before the personality began to form. The personality cannot assert itself in a way that would crush the dream of perfection. Neptune is the dream of purity, the undifferentiated beauty of never having left the garden of Eden. Mars on the other hand is the agent of independence and self-motivated action – he has the purpose of fighting for the individual self which is antithetical to the Neptunian principle of surrender. While the Moon and Venus are quite social; the Moon represents nurturing and care-taking of needs, Venus represents the ability to be loving, affectionate and gracious; Mars is selfish and to a certain extent anti-social – most definitely anti-Eden and its eternal bliss. Subsequently, Neptune paired with Venus or the Moon is a little less of an obvious conflict than Neptune paired with Mars.

The conjunction of Neptune-Mars might cause considerable frustration and unconscious manipulation, because one cannot assert oneself, which is to declare separation, without feeling a deep sense of guilt and shame. It’s a little bit like the Bible story of Adam and Eve eating of the forbidden fruit and immediately becomes aware of sin. This is certainly not an easy phenomenon to deal with. The impulse to avoid accountability for one’s actions can be overwhelming, even if the consequences are perceived to be good. There can be a tremendously inflated sense of righteousness accompanying every move the individual takes because deep down there’s the feeling that one has committed a terrible trespass, that one will be unable to atone for. While the softer aspects, the trine and the sextile, more easily lend themselves to genuine selfless acts and natural inclination to fight on behalf of every bleeding heart and soul in the world through acts of sympathy and kindness, the conjunction usually brings more troubles. There can be an overwhelming feeling of having to do certain things because one cannot stand the idea of being separate from other people. One finds it easy to identify as the martyr or victim, unwilling to take radical responsibility for one’s actions – or if one does it’s in order to self-sacrifice. Often the individual will adopt any ideology that promotes the mass before the individual – often socialism or marxism fits the bill. Neptune is symbolic of undifferentiated reality, blurred edges and passive surrender. It’s not a planet that promotes autonomy and individuation. Not uncommonly, decisions and actions are referred to as byproducts of societal or larger-scale units that have little to do with the poor self. These individuals are usually profoundly dissatisfied with the ways of society because on some level they believe that individual autonomy and agency is a sin – and that the only way to redeem oneself and humanity is through some kind of chaotic dissolution of difference. This urge is seldom conscious, but it is there none the less. Vladimir Lenin had this conjunction and he wanted to revolutionize society to fit the marxist ideology, but really what this means is to overthrow the upper class – to punish those that seem to revel in the delights of Eden, to get rid of the internal shame of being excluded from paradise.

It seems like Neptune-Mars shows up in individuals with the capacity to move a crowd, perhaps most importantly, with the capacity to be the front figure and leader of the masses. Vladimir Lenin certainly affected the masses and so did Napoleon I with the same conjunction. Hassan II of Morocco, known to be one of the most severe rulers widely accused of authoritarian practices and abuses of civil rights had this conjunction as well. These examples are far removed from Neptune’s reputation for denoting empathy, soft-heartedness and sensitivity. However, it might be precisely because of the refusal to abandon the hope of the sweet sweet nectar of paradise that can only truly be accessed in a state of pre-birth if even then, that the outrage is so total. Most children scream when they are born, and this is probably the kind of terrible rage caused by separation that lingers in these people. The sign the conjunction falls in will certainly affect the expression the energies filter through – Lenin had the conjunction in Aries, Hassan had it in Leo and Napoleon had it in Virgo. Virgo is a much more analytical and practical sign than the prideful fire signs of Aries and Leo – consequently Napoleon is famous for his fine skill for method and strategy in war. On his Wikipedia page, it states that Napoleon had a hypnotic effect on people and could bend the strongest leaders to his will in one-on-one conversations. Hypnosis is a marked Neptunian phenomenon. What happens is that the person is able to gently infiltrate the other person’s will – which is quite extraordinary. If someone is receptive and open enough to suggestion, the opportunity and the invitation is there to mold the other through unconscious communion. Since there’s no obvious forcing taking place under hypnosis, the hypnotized person must cooperate on some level – yet it’s not a conscious cooperation which is why the whole phenomena of hypnosis is so unnerving. In general, people would like to think that they are in complete control of themselves, but it’s more of a fancy fantasy rather than an actual reality. We don’t know what we are receptive to and Neptune reminds us of this. He seeps through the most tightly shut doors.

(Buy products with my art)

My own family is quite Neptune dominated and what often happens is that I feel subtly manipulated, yet the manipulation is never fully conscious on the part of the individuals so it becomes difficult to confront them. The times I have, they either take offense or seem genuinely perplexed. It is impossible to confront Neptune, because he works underneath the surface, below the threshold of consciousness. When confronted these types are deeply disturbed that they could’ve imposed something on someone – they either go into a introspective mood, become appalled or proclaim their love and sympathy in an attempt to restore union. My mother has Mars in the 12th house and although it’s not aspecting Neptune, Mars is placed in the house pertaining to this planet and she has Neptune in her 1st house. She never gets angry but people around her certainly do. She is eternally understanding of everyone else’s anger and has acceptance for it, yet she doesn’t respond to any of it on a personal level. She apologizes every time something upsets her. She is never aggressive, yet she does instill subtle guilt through little cues and hints every now and then because it is a sin to have a will that does not align with the crowd that one finds oneself in. Sometimes, when things aren’t the way she wants to see them she doesn’t see them. She presumes that on the most basic level, all people want the same thing, which is probably true on a “soul level”, but sometimes it doesn’t translate to everyday matters. People’s personalities contradict each other and this is no trivial matter – people can and do clash because of individual differences and it can be detrimental to one or all of the individuals involved. However, Neptune doesn’t like to see a clash as a clash – that would be to treat it as a definite fact, which would contradict the fluidity of oceanic union. The frustratingly passive statement “It’s everyone’s fault” or “It’s everyone’s responsibility” is the attempt to not deal with cause and effect while establishing the fact that some abstract common force is always at work. This is neither true nor false but this attitude conveniently keeps everyone “unified” and dependent upon each other.

Admittedly I went with the most gruesome examples when writing about the conjunction, but it goes without saying that not all people with this aspect is going to be a Lenin type – Ryan Gosling, Avril Lavinge and Timothé Chalamet all have this conjunction and they’re all quite popular entertainers in their own ways – they move the masses on some level. Ryan Gosling has a Pisces Rising so his chart ruler is Neptune which makes it particularly strong. He gives off that pure hearted watery eyed look that is extremely mesmerizing to the public – he portrays himself as sweet and compassionate, he seems to have a marked innocence and purity to his outward projected identity. Avril Lavinge has her Sun-Mercury in the 12th house squaring her Neptune-Mars conjunction in the 3rd. She has more of an edge to her personality with a lot of planets in Scorpio but she certainly comes off as a chaotic, intense and absent-minded creative which I would attribute more to Neptune. Her strong rebellious “I don’t care” statements through her music resonates with a lot of people, but so does her more sentimental songs. Timothe´ Chalamet has his Moon in Pisces sextile Mars-Mercury-Neptune and he is quite the stereotypical Neptunian boy – he looks delicate, introspective, dreamy and androgynous, more like an ethereal creature than an earth-bound human. With the conjunction in the 5th house there’s no wonder that he can act and express himself in a very fluid way. Acting and performing musically are the specialities of the Neptune, and if enough components in the chart support the endeavor one might just become famous. The trine and sextile aspect also lend themselves well to these kind of occupations. These people can effectively gain the sympathy of the public because people recognize something of themselves – something pure and unborn, a mutual feeling.

A good example of someone with the trine aspect between Neptune and Mars is Russel Brand. He is quite the Neptunian with an angular 10th house Neptune opposing his Sun and trining his Jupiter-Mars-Moon planets in Aries. Even though he certainly has the fire and energy of an Aries Mars that can sometimes be a bit too much for people he is not only fighting for himself he is fighting for all people. In many ways he’s embodying  universal hope and rage. He is fiery but also very receptive and deeply concerned with not causing any damage or hurt despite his characteristic blunt and direct approach. He has a marked religious/spiritual inclination, which is usually the case with a strong Neptune in the chart. In his early years the longing for Eden was sought through drugs, alcohol and fame, while it has now shifted to a more healthy inner exploration and focus on being of service to people. The soft aspects between Neptune and Mars-Moon-Jupiter planets in his chart helps him to cope with the disturbing Sun-Neptune opposition. In recent interviews, he admits that he still feels the pull of fame and success, yet he knows that if he goes down that path he will lose himself (his Sun) and will ultimately end up disillusioned and dissatisfied. I have the trine in my own chart, and I float aimlessly through life with the notion that things will work out and my actions will come to me, because I can’t plan or control anything. I have learnt that I have to trust the way things unfold, because I have a clear sense that my forced actions won’t lead me anywhere except to frustration and a sense of isolation. The sextile aspect seems to function a little bit more as an asset and a skill for the person to use. Politicians like Hillary Clinton, Angela Merkel and Francois Hollande all have this aspect and they can effectively use their receptivity to the masses and people in general to inform their actions.

Now to the harder aspects. Britney Spears is a good example of the dilemmas created by the Neptune-Mars square. Her Neptune squares Mars in the 12th house, the house belonging to Neptune and Pisces. Because of mental instability in her twenties she was put under a conservatorship which is essentially the equivalent of giving up personal control of one’s personal matters in order for an outside source to manage them until one gains some foothold. Mars is one of the prime factors of personal ambition and autonomy, but when it’s in the 12th it is given up – it is essentially a slave to the undifferentiated realm and subjected all the forces of the unconscious. A 12th house Mars in itself doesn’t have to produce the mess that Britney found herself in, but with it squaring Neptune, Mars is going to get swamped, mislead, confused, manipulated and subtly coerced because of the need for fusion, into doing things that will pull her further away from independent action. Another good example is Kylie Jenner. She has Neptune in her 1st house squaring Mars on the MC. She is publicly known for being part of the Kardashian-Jenner family, but she’s also gained attention because she skillfully created her own brand Kylie Cosmetics and became very “successful” (as in earning a lot of money) due to her own independent action and initiative. However, Neptune is anti-independence – and curiously enough there’s always some dishonesty involved when Neptune makes any hard aspects in the chart. She was declared the youngest self-made billionaire by Forbes in 2019, but, she has later been accused of forging tax documents to appear to be a billionaire. Neptune simply can’t let her be all that her Mars wants to be – a successful business woman with a clean record. Self-sabotage is almost always the case, however minor with this aspect, because Neptune refuses Mars’ need to be potent in the world.

The opposition creates a different dynamic although the dilemma is similar to the square. The person can be called to completely abandon an independent will to take action in favor of the glamour and blissful archetypal experience, not unlike the example of Russel Brand and his indulgence in fame and crowd-pleasing at the expense of his sense of self. The difference between having Sun opposing Neptune and Mars opposing Neptune is that in the first instance one is prone to give up a sense of self in favor of Neptune’s waters, while in the second, one feels the urge to give up the ability to direct one’s own life in order to merge with life around oneself. The opposition usually lends itself to extremism because the two polarities, in this case Mars and Neptune, can’t coexist. Queen Elizabeth II has this aspect, Mars-Jupiter in the 1st opposing Neptune in the 7th. She is on the one hand seen as an archetypal figure, immortal and divine and blissfully kept out of the real world in order to serve as a symbol and a fairytale for people to feel spiritually connected to. She’s non-aggressive, forgiving and compassionate, transcendent of the fuss of the world yet overseeing it all with care. She is essentially functioning to satisfy the religious/spiritual instinct of the masses, although it’s certainly done at the expense of her own selfish wants and needs. Luckily for her, her Mars drive is quite global and collective in nature considering that it falls in Aquarius and is conjunct Jupiter – it keeps her objective and less personal in her martial assertion. However, I’m sure she struggles with the contradiction between her own will and her role as an immortal unreality that would seem to activate itself in the interaction with other people (Neptune in the 7th). Edward Snowden also has this opposition falling in the same houses. His Mars-Sun conjunction opposes Neptune, and he famously leaked information about mass surveillance programs to the press. Neptune has everything to do with leaks and the dissolution of boundaries. He’s both been called a hero a traitor – which perfectly fits with the contradiction that the opposition represents. He certainly made a personal sacrifice by revealing the things he did so he is perfectly shouldering the martyr cape. In any case he did what he did for the public with the concern of other people in mind (Neptune 7th house) he took a non-selfish stance for the sake of a higher ideal and ethical conviction. Both Queen Elizabeth and Edward Snowden are quite extreme in their Neptunian capacity and has taken on fates of mythic magnitude.

[grenade-maid]

God, Liz and the Blue Bird is genuinely so so so so good like, as a film. The writing is so nuanced, but like, even more than the explicit dialogue that characters say to each other, the vast majority of Nozomi and Mizore's emotions are communicated visually through body language, shot composition, and other cinematographic tricks. This is most clearly seen with Nozomi, because she withholds expressing so much of what she's actually feeling. Like, in every conversation we see with her in her group of friends, her dialogue is very breezy, but the framing of the shots and her uncertain body language denotes a certain amount of not feeling completely comfortable being part of the group. There's the strong implication that she doesn't want to be there, but her interactions with Mizore show that she's far too afraid of honest displays of emotion to make herself vulnerable by speaking up or standing out by leaving. Her friendly casual attitude is at once a way of surrounding herself with people so she won't be alone, but also keeping them at a distance so she doesn't have to risk anything. It's an uncomfortable middle ground, but one she is unwilling to let herself get out of. Even at the very end when Mizore pours her heart out to her, she's incapable of responding with equal earnestness.

Even when she's expressing her fondness for Mizore, it's in a very stiff way with a sort of false playfulness. She says it all with her tongue in her cheek, in a way that that makes genuine feelings into something performative and deniable. A warmth that puts up a wall from letting her get any closer. Wouldn't it be nice if we hugged? Just kidding, of course. It would be easy to assume that she's leading Mizore on, just basking in the affection she gets from her, with no desire to reciprocate.

However, there's one shot where she is completely loose and open and uninhibited:

This is one of the only scenes where she's completely honest with her feelings, no tension or uncertainty in her body language, and it's to express how happy she is to see Mizore. That much all on its own would say a lot. However, the circumstances give it a lot of symbolic weight. After all, she's only able to express this kind of earnest affection when the two of them are in separate buildings, and even then, only through a symbolic, non-verbal gesture in shining her reflection on Mizore. She can only be honest about how she feels when there's the safety of both the literal distance between the two buildings, but also the figurative distance in not needing to put specific words to what she’s saying.

So when we look at the ending, at first glance it might seem like Nozomi is rejecting Mizore's declaration of love by responding in her usual guarded way, and making it clear that she'll be applying to a different college and taking a different path in her life. Let’s examine that further, though. After the confession scene, the next time we see them together is at the counter in the library.

Nozomi smiles at Mizore, but it’s in the same way that she’s been doing throughout the movie when she’s putting up her mask of artificial positivity.

This is followed by Mizore returning Liz and the Blue Bird, while Nozomi checks out her college exam book. The implication being that Mizore has to finally relinquish her dream of a fairytale love between the two of them, while Nozomi embraces the cold, impersonal realism of a college career.

This is further reinforced by Mizore giving Nozomi this heartbroken look. They exchange no words, but Nozomi turns and smiles again.

HOWEVER, film isn’t always as objective as it might first seem. Just like novels, films can portray things from different perspectives, or it can portray events from a zoomed out observer’s perspective. Even in a shot that contains both characters, there is subtext within it that makes it clear that the emotions being conveyed and the views being shown are that of one character and not necessarily the other. In the above, I would argue that we are seeing this exchange through Mizore’s eyes. She perceives Nozomi as rejecting her.

Let’s take a look at what happens next, though:

The perspective shifts, not showing what either of them are specifically feeling. Instead, the film itself is acting as the observer, showing you where these paths are leading them, and what it means for them. We begin with them walking away from each other--Nozomi towards the library to study for college entrance exams, and with Mizore towards the band room to practice for music college. When they reach their destinations, they are both the only person shown in the room. This would seem to imply that this is them walking away from each other, towards their diverging paths in life.

BUT. Something happens on the way to their destinations.

Nozomi turns towards the left

Mizore turns toward the right.

What does this mean? Yes, they do need to part ways to pursue their different paths in life. BUT IN DOING SO THEY TURN TOWARDS EACH OTHER. Them taking these different directions is not proof that they leaving each other, it is precisely the way that they are making themselves ABLE TO FORM A HEALTHIER PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER. This is further backed up in this picture being flashed on screen after their scenes showing them alone

To me, this splotch of paint is a more explicit declaration of the realness and permanence of their love than if they had shared an on-screen kiss. These colors mean that yes, they are as separate as red and blue, and there needs to be space for red to be only red and blue to be only blue. But where they DO touch they can now form something unique together that is permanently inextricable. Just as you can’t un-mix paint, their feelings for one another can’t be torn apart.

Ultimately this is a story about the fact that they needed to differentiate themselves from one another to be together. Acting purely co-dependently, they couldn’t understand themselves or each other. Mizore needed to find enough self confidence to pursue music on her own, and see herself as a fully fledged person capable of moving forward without relying on or defining herself by Nozomi. And, in turn, Nozomi needed to learn to open herself up to accepting and expressing emotions in an honest way. The ending is bittersweet, because we only get to see the first step of that--the part where they still aren’t ready, and must first prepare themselves to separate. But symbolically? Their future couldn’t be any clearer.

In conclusion:

[ssaalexblake]

“they’ve (humans) fought off so many things, including the worst of their own people“

13 says this about humans in resolution to the dalek, and i’d forgotten about it or not clocked it before and only just saw it while trying to make a gif, but it’s interesting to me because she says it with respect. Even with pride, imo. 

13 consistently claims to be a pacifist and this isn’t super interesting to me beyond the fact that she’s clearly lying (like, for clarity's sake this is not me slamming her. I’ve had people think that before but i don’t claim to be a pacifist because i do not believe all violence is equal, much in the way 13 doesn’t, tbh. The refusal to commit violence can be a powerful tool in specific situations but as a flat out ideal that you are unwilling to compromise on it can toe painfully close to ‘silence is on the side of the oppressor’ in action. I’m not insulting her... I think more of her for it Not being true.) 

But she is lying, her pacifism is another part of that happy go lucky ‘ideal’ doctor she’s cooked up for everybody to look at in S11 while trying to be the person 12 wanted. She clearly thinks she Should be a pacifist to be that great person. 

13′s motivations are interesting because okay, the doctor historically does Not do well with people not willing to stick up for themselves or others. Think of that species who are the most invaded??? species in the universe? Their planet has the record for the most invasions? them? Because they just roll out the welcome matt and accept it all. 11 was frustrated by them. I’d say 12 kind of actively hated them. 13 in the above scene with the dalek expresses respect for humanity’s willingness to fight the hell back, even against themselves, and we can all think of a few different instances in history where humanity has fought back against people who deserved it... Point being, she’s the same as the other doctors, she doesn’t have any philosophical differences causing her to disdain sticking up for yourselves and others... Unlike them, she’s just lying. 

I actually don’t think 13 Wants to be a pacifist as much as she thinks she should want to be one. 13 wants to be a lot of things... She wants to be the lie she was pedaling in s11, she wants to live a life of no violence. She doesn’t get to have these things because that’s just not her. Even if she Does want to be a pacifist genuinely, she doesn’t want to be one enough that her own principles matter more to her than saving innocent lives. 

The point is, I guess, that 13 respects fighting, she is a fighter, she respects those who fight back she just doesn’t think she Should. There’s a genuine discussion to have around the morals here, because 13′s saying pacifism is great and the Best you you can be is a pacifist, but she is both lying about it being so brilliant and the show consistently narratively points out thhat fighting back Is okay by having her, you know, fight back as the heroic protagonist. They illustrate this also through Ryan who took this no violence approach very seriously and thinks very hard about whether he will fight back or not even in a situation where he will surely die and suffer a horrific fate if he does not. He decides to fight... when he celebrates the destruction he causes he almost gets shot by cybermen, but he is Never condemned for fighting back against them in general, just getting glee from it. 

The message is, imo, clear, that the glorification of violence is a mistake, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes it is not necessary and that is can very well be acceptable and something to respect. Be it to save yourself or to fight back against those who would kill or oppress you (the cybermen, who do both), the action of fighting back is Not the same as them attacking you to begin with. 

Idk, i see people talk about 13′s pacifism in a good light a lot and i have had pushback multiple times when i call her out for lying because it is perceived i am insulting her but the thing is... I don’t think the narrative Wants us to take away the message that ‘pacifism is always good’. I don’t think we’re supposed to respect the idea of Never fighting. I think it wants us to be Ryan, and therefore who 13 actually is, and not who she claims to be. Do not be gleeful in your violence but do not think it is inherently bad to fight back against people who would oppress or harm you, because it’s not.  

///////

But also, I am interested in how she places emphasis on humans fighting back against ourselves in the above scene, and us fighting the Worst of our own species in how it would relate to her relationship with the time lords. Especially in regards to the new knowledge of what was done to build the society. Especially in regards to the fact that it did, in fact, actually backfire on them eventually and one of their own fought back for what was done. I mean, he also slaughtered billions of others who were in no way actively culpable, but he was also, technically, acting out against the evils done by the ones who actually Were genuinely terrible people. Once again, his glee in his violence marks him as in no way in the right by the narrative even past the whole innocent people thing, but i would Love to her 13′s take on this nowadays. 

[thedreadvampy]

On the other hand, and moving away from direct Mechanisms Discourse (which I prefer to not get over involved in tbh but also this ISN'T about that it's just jumping off it) - it absolutely is deeply classist to assume that somebody is illiterate or ignorant because of poverty/assumed poverty, and that's a huge problem. but also I think on a broader social level (at least in the UK) there is an idea in the left that it's classist to acknowledge the connection between poverty and illiteracy, while the truth is that illiteracy is a problem of poverty (poverty not in the sense of just Not Having Money but in the sense of system denial of adequate resources). Poverty doesn't = illiteracy but illiteracy is very much a problem of poverty - not a failure of a marginalised individual but a failure of the system marginalising them.

Adult illiteracy is a surprisingly large issue in eg both rural and urban Scotland, but it's not because poor people are stupid, ignorant or unwilling to learn - it's because schools are inadequate or inaccessible, classes are managed not taught, teachers are stretched thin and schools are underfunded so don't have resources to help struggling students, if you get to secondary school still unable to read and write you're completely locked out of the educational system unless you can access a school with the resources to teach you individually, and because of this, classism and a lack of support, poorer kids are more likely to switch off school as early as possible.

Social geography is also a big issue. In urban areas, schools in poorer areas get bad reputations, so they're underfunded, so they do worse, so they're funded less, etc, until they're a bare minimum of staff just trying to get through the day in collapsing buildings with no resources and five textbooks. Where better-funded schools can afford teaching assistants, 1:1 support for struggling students, decent food provision for kids, follow-up on children in need of support at home, more teachers for smaller classes, maybe counseling and psychological support, maybe Special Educational Needs classes for older kids to work on basic literacy and numeracy to catch up, worse-funded schools have one underpaid unsupported teacher trying to manage a class of 35 kids with wildly different needs. They don't have the resources to help support kids with issues that might affect their schooling, like parental abuse or neglect, trauma, a parent in prison, care responsibilities, hunger, homelessness, neurodiversities that affect their ability to learn in the prescribed way, learning disabilities like dyslexia, physical health issues including visual or auditory impairments...all things that when supported are highly surmountable but when unsupported often end up with children being perceived and treated as stupid, disruptive or evil. The problem then compounds itself because the kids are badly treated which makes them more disruptive and less able to learn, and more and more work is needed to help them which teachers continue to not have any capacity or resources for.

Rural poverty comes with its own schooling issues as well, in that poverty is generally correlated with remoteness. Poor rural communities are often hours away from population centres, so either you have tiny highly local schools serving a handful of families where a single teacher needs to invent lesson plans that somehow balance the needs of 11 year olds and 4 year olds of all abilities, or your kids need to somehow get into town every morning before you get to work, which may mean dropping them off at 6am, having to part pay for buses, taxis or ferries, sending them on their own, or leaving them with friends and family, and realistically the way that often shakes down is that they don't go. You teach them at home, and they may not even exist for the truancy office to know about.

Literacy is also connected to family culture. Both my parents were people with degrees from educated families, and my mum was a full time parent, and the result is that school didn't teach me to read - I was already a confident and enthusiastic reader. Even richer families may hire tutors for small children, pay for extracurricular learning, etc. The poorer a family is, the more likely neither parent is available to spend time reading with their kids, because they're working full time - at that economic level a single income household is almost entirely unviable so either both parents work or there's a single parent working extra hours or they're just exhausted from worrying about the bills and what's sold to them as a personal failure to look after their family.

One thing it's easy to forget is that while people in the UK still do drop out of school in their teens to work, a generation ago it was almost the norm for a lot of communities (especially the children of farmers, miners and factory workers) to have left school well before the end of compulsory education, both because of school being a hostile space and because of the need for an additional income. Now as well as then, a lot of kids drop out to work as unpaid carers, disproportionately in poorer families that can't afford private care or therapeutic support. Literacy aside, generations of leaving school with no qualifications doesn't tend to teach you that formal learning is as important as experience and vocational learning, and you don't expect to finish anyway so why put yourself through misery trying to do well? But it includes literacy. I grew up in a former mining area and a lot of people my dad's age and older were literate enough to read signs and football results, but took adult classes in middle age or later to get past the pointing finger and moving lips. and if you're parents don't or can't read, it's a lot harder for you to learn.

There's a lot of classism and shame tied up in the roots of illiteracy. Teachers and governments and schoolmates will often have vocally expressed low expectations of poorer students; a rich child who does poorly at school has problems, a poor child who does poorly at school is a problem child. They're often treated with hostility and aggression from infancy and any anger or disinterest in school is often treated not as a problem to be solved but as proof that you were right to deem them a write-off. Poorer or more neglected children (or children for whom English is a second language) will often be deemed "stupid" by their peers, and start at a disadvantage because of the issues around early childhood learning in families where parents are overstretched.

Kids learn not to admit that they don't know or understand something, because if you start school unable to read and write and do basic maths when a lot of kids your age are already confident, you get mocked and called stupid and lazy by your peers, and treated with frustration by your teachers. So kids learn to avoid people noticing that they need help. That means that school, which could help a lot, isn't somewhere you can go for help but a source of huge anxiety and pain - more so when you factor in the background radiation of classism that only grows as you get older around not having the right clothes, the right toys, the right experiences, my mum says your mum's a ragger, my mum says I shouldn't hang out with you because you're a bad lot - so again kids switch off very early and see education as something to survive not something helpful.

The same is very much true of adult literacy. A lot of adults are very shamed and embarrassed to admit that they struggle with reading and writing - a lot of parents particularly want to be able to teach their kids to read, but aren't confident readers themselves, and feel too stupid and embarrassed to admit out loud that they can't read well, let alone to seek out and endure adult literacy classes that are a constant reminder of their perceived failure and ignorance (and can also be excruciating. Books for adult literacy learning are not nearly widespread enough and a lot of intelligent experienced adults are subjected to reading Spot the Dog and similar books targeted at small children's interests). Adult literacy classes also cost time and also money, so a lot of people only have the space for them after retirement, if at all.

And increasingly, illiteracy (or lack of fluency in English) increases poverty and marginalisation, and thus the chances of inherited literacy problems. Reading information, filling out forms and accessing the internet in a meaningful way are all massively limited by illiteracy, and you need those skills to access welfare, to access medical care, to avoid exploitative loans, to deal with any service providers, etc. Most jobs above minimum wage and a lot below require a fairly high level of literacy, whether it's office work or reading an instructional memo on a building site or reading drink instructions in McDonalds. Illiteracy is a huge barrier between somebody and the rest of the world, especially in a modern world that just assumes universal literacy, and especially especially as more and more of life involves the internet, texting, WhatsApp, email, and so on - it's becoming harder and harder for people with limited literacy to be fully involved in society. And that means the only mobility is downwards, and that exacerbates all the problems that lead to adult illiteracy.

People who can't read after the age of 6 or so are treated as stupid. People who can't read fluently when they're adults are seen as stupid and almost subhuman. There's so much shame and personal judgement attached to difficulty reading, but the fact that illiteracy is almost exclusively linked to poverty and deprivation is pretty conclusive. Illiteracy isn't about the failure or stupidity of the individual, it's about the lack of support, care and respect afforded to poor people at all stages of their life. Being illiterate doesn't make you stupid - many people are highly intelligent, creative, capable, thoughtful, and illiterate. I know people who can immediately solve complex engineering problems on the fly but take ten minutes to write down a sentence of instruction. It isn't classist to say that illiteracy is caused by poverty - it's both classist and inaccurate to say that illiteracy says anything about the worth, intelligence or personhood of the poor, that it's a result of a desire to be ignorant, or that it's evidence that people are poor because they're stupid, incapable, ignorant or bad parents. The link between poverty and illiteracy is the problem of classism and bigotry, no more no less, and we deal with it by working against the ideas that both poverty and lack of education are a reflection of individual worth.

Illiteracy isn't a problem of intelligence, it's a problem of education, and that matters because education is not inherent. it's something that has to be provided and maintained by parents, by the state, by the community. you're not born educated. you are educated. except more than a quarter of the Scottish population isn't educated, because the system doesn't give a fuck about them and actively excludes them or accidentally leaves them behind.

[mwolf0epsilon]

The other day I was looking at some screenshots from the Umbara Arc because I was trying to get a lay of the land, so to speak, as I wanted to write about Lich's experiences prior to finding his way back to a now fallen Republic and rising Empire... And three specific frames caught my attention due to very small details.

The first one is when Krell threatens Fives with his lightsaber.

Lightsabers are plasma conduits. They can slice and cauterise at the same time. Using them to threaten someone into compliance like this is a promise to use them rather than a bluff.

Even with his armour on, Fives can likely feel the heat of the blade against his neck and shoulder. This is more than enough reason to go from mild apprehension around Krell to full on distrusting him, because the clones know the Jedi only use their lightsabers when they need to. And only against what they perceive as hostiles that are unwilling to negotiate surrender.

Krell using his lightsaber to threaten someone was an immediate red flag, and Fives knew it.

The second screenshot that caught my attention was when Rex was holding Krell at gunpoint to execute him.

I was wondering why Dogma could swipe Fives's blaster so easily and then, when looking at this frame, I realised all eyes were on Krell's back. All eyes but Dogma's... Who was instead watching Rex like a hawk.

It dawned on me that Fives getting finessed wasn't the most interesting part of this scene, because at this point even a toddler could have taken his blaster without him noticing. It was the fact Dogma could see that Rex was hesitating while everyone else was just watching Krell with growing contempt, rather than realising their captain was struggling to do what he'd set out to do.

Dogma's decision to shoot Krell wasn't a spur of the moment thing. It was something he felt like he had to do because no one else could have done it. Because if Rex couldn't, then he very likely doubted the others could either... And I think Dogma didn't want them to. I think he was very aware of the consequences that would follow.

Which brings us to the last screenshot.

Fives's and Dogma are very different characters in terms of how they conduct themselves and how they emote.

Fives has no reservations when it comes to expressing his feelings. He's comfortable in his skin, knows what he's about, and even feels comfortable enough to raise his concerns or even joke with his superiors (this man pulled a dick joke on his Jedi General, that's just ballsy).

Dogma is the opposite. He's wound tight (like Rex had commented in a prior conversation with Anakin), is still very much the standard model soldier that was just recently shipped out of Kamino, and is even unwilling to rest unless ordered to do so. Dogma is Shiny without being Shiny.

Throughout the entire Umbara Arc, Dogma's had this steely angry look to him that feels more like a poker face than anything else. There's only two times where we see him pull a softer expression. The scene in the barracks where he's talking with Tup, and this one where he looks stricken.

Fives on the other hand never hid what he felt. He's one of the most expressive clones and the Umbara Arc accentuates this. This scene proves this because where he'd been upset at Dogma for a great majority of this story arc, Fives is suddenly confronted with this scenario. And it probably finally dawns on him that he didn't have all the pieces when it came to figuring out Dogma's motives (or maybe it occurs to him what killing a Jedi would have meant for Rex, and that out of all the clones in that room Dogma was likely the one who was most aware of what would come next because he's a stiff stickler for the rules and he'd tried to stop them mutinying before).

This entire arc is a great character study for the clones in general, but I think the ones that stand out more are definitely Fives and Dogma when faced with loyalty to the republic vs loyalty to their brothers.

[writeforfandoms]

Shake, Rattle and Roll 3

Chapter 3 is here folks! I’m rewarding you for me recovering from the vaccine.

Chapter one is here and chapter two is here

Summary: Things fall apart very quickly when you’ve got six prospectors and a supposed map to the treasure of all treasures. 

Warnings: More murder. Just one this time. Things crashing. Some blood, but nothing explicit. More swearing.

Tags: @fandom-blackhole @pedrocentric

--

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Ezra asked as the two of you descended the stairs to the basement.

"Sure." You paused briefly at the bottom of the stairs, taking a quick look around. Nothing obviously wrong, fortunately, but lots of junk.

"Why are you so determined to help the young lady upstairs? Not that I'm of a mind to disagree with you."

You paused, half-turning to look at the man behind you. His eyes were curious at the moment, not quite shrewd.

"Let's just say I know how awful being an orphan can be," you said, turning away again and venturing further into the basement. It was all one large room, with shelving lining the walls and cloth-covered furniture crowding the space. "Kevva, how does anyone find anything in here?"

"With no shortage of difficulty and frustration, I imagine," Ezra said cheerfully. "And quite possibly no lack of colorful metaphors."

You barked out a laugh at that, shaking your head. "Colorful metaphors," you muttered, amused. 

“Are you actually looking for this supposed map?” Ezra asked. “Or are you just having a grand time exploring?”

“Exploring, mostly,” you answered easily. “I mean, who would keep a map in the basement? I’m pretty sure nobody’s been down here in years, look at the dust layered on everything.”

Ezra hummed, and when you turned he was right behind you, making you jump. “It would seem that we have some decisions to make, and unforeseen time in which to make them.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, side-stepping so you weren’t backed against the wall. “Such as?”

“The girl.” Ezra held up one hand to belay your protest. “I agree she is far too young to be in the midst of this dangerous situation, but if we are to help her, we need a plan.”

You nodded slowly. “I’d like to get her out of the house as soon as possible, but I realize that might not be possible with the other prospectors.”

“Indeed, they are unwilling to let anyone go anywhere until they have that map.” Ezra’s eyes gleamed a little at the mention of it. You felt a little uneasy - you had no interest in the map yourself. It could burn for all you cared. 

“I don’t think they’re going to find it here,” you admitted carefully. “If there even is a map. Damon wouldn’t have stashed it in the house. He would have kept it on him, or maybe left it somewhere safe.”

“Agreed.” Ezra spread his hands. “Then we are faced with the conundrum of what to do next.”

“Sneak out?” You weren’t really serious in suggesting that. It wouldn’t work. Not for long, anyway. And if the other prospectors thought you’d left with the map? They wouldn’t stop hunting you. 

“That won’t work and you well know it. You’re not a fool.” Ezra shifted to lean back against the wall next to you, separated by a couple feet of space. “No, we need a rather more… permanent plan.”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” you asked, voice low. Your gaze darted to the staircase, just to make sure nobody was lingering there. 

“These folk are hard,” Ezra said with a shrug. “They are killers, the lot of them, and I do not doubt that they would have no qualms removing any obstacles in the way of their perceived wealth.” 

You sighed. You knew he was right, you’d seen it for yourself several times on the Green. That didn’t mean you had to like it.

“I don’t think murder is necessary,” you protested. “What if we just locked them in the basement and ran? They’d pick the lock eventually, but we could all just vanish. Pretty sure I’m the only one of us with anything resembling a permanent address.”

“That’s not much of a solution either,” Ezra said, shaking his head. “Now, dove, I understand this might be an uncomfortable reality, but reality it is.”

“Dove?” you asked, completely sidetracked even as you bristled a little. 

“Not the time,” Ezra protested. 

“I suppose you’d rather wait until we’re doing something rash,” you grumbled right back at him. 

You both froze when the doorbell rang. It felt like the whole house froze. There was no noise for ten long seconds, and then the doorbell rang again. All at once, you and Ezra were scrambling up the stairs to see what was going on. 

The other four prospectors all stood in front of the door, blocking your view. But you could hear Mikken growl something about someone not being home, then a polite reply. The polite person was let inside finally, and your eyes met across the room.

She was younger than you, although an adult, and cute. She looked like someone’s friend, dressed for a night in having fun.

And then Fero brought a pipe down across the back of her head. You closed your eyes a few moments too late. The blood would definitely haunt your dreams. 

“What the fuck?!” Felicia demanded.

“We couldn’t let her live,” Fero growled. “She saw us!”

“So killing her was the answer?” Felicia’s voice was steadily rising in both pitch and volume. 

“Idiot,” Inumon scoffed. 

“And what would you have done?” Fero challenged, puffing out his chest. He still had the pipe gripped tight in one hand. 

“Not let her in and not killed her,” Inumon said, narrowing her eyes at the blonde man. Her hands both drifted, one towards a strap on her thigh, the other towards the back of her pants. Weapons, undoubtedly. 

Mikken and Fero both started talking at the same time, which quickly escalated to yelling. Inumon had a dagger in her hand a moment later, steely eyes glaring down Fero. In response, Felicia pulled a little thrower and leveled it at Inumon, which prompted Fero to pull his weapon, which caused Mikken to pull his weapon. 

“Well now there’s no need for this all to go to bloodshed so quickly,” Ezra said, hands held loose and away from his body. You half-turned to glare at him, because clearly he was crazy. They had almost solved the problem themselves! “I’m quite certain we can arrange a more peaceful resolution to this little spat.”

“We need the map,” Mikken said, glaring at the blonde siblings. “Did you find anything in the basement?”

“No,” you answered before Ezra could. “Nothing’s been moved down there in years.”

Mikken scoffed. “Fine.” He settled his gaze on you. “The girl has nothing on her either?”

“No.”

Mikken was silent for a moment before he shifted his gaze to Inumon. “Kill her, then.”

“What?” Your jaw dropped for a moment before you hardened your resolve, stepping in Inumon’s way. “No.” 

“She’s useless to us,” Mikken spat. “She’s a liability now.”

“She wouldn’t be if you would stop killing people,” you shot back. 

“Easy,” Ezra muttered from close behind you, clearly trying to warn you off of doing anything stupid. Unfortunately for him, you already had a terrible track record of that.

Inumon stepped forward, into your space, and smirked. It was a smirk that just dared you to do something, even as she drew a thrower from the back of her belt.

So you did. You grabbed the arm with the thrower and shoved it up. The shot was loud that close to your ear, and the bullet lodged somewhere in the ceiling above you. Inumon snarled and raised the dagger instead.

Ezra jerked you backwards, his hands fisted in the back of your shirt. The chandelier came crashing down in between the two of you and the rest of the group, sending shards of glass everywhere. Fero and Felicia both yelled, and Inumon fell back with a shout of pain. You saw a quickly-reddening shard of glass sticking out of her shin. 

"Time to go," Ezra said, giving you another yank. The two of you booked it for the library, where Ezra pulled the key out of his pocket. You saw Inumon raise the knife again and pulled Ezra down out of the way, the solid thud of the knife meeting wood the sound of success to your ears.

You and Ezra sort of stumbled over each other into the library, and Ezra slammed the door shut and locked it again. You were both panting with the adrenaline high. 

"What just happened?" Cee asked, staring at you both. She sounded like she both did and did not want to know. 

"Your most ardent defender here seems to have either a death wish or a sincere desire for adrenaline," Ezra told her, leaning back against the door.

"Yeah, yeah," you muttered. "Important thing is we need to get out of here." 

"I foresee a slight problem with that," Ezra told you with a sigh. He nodded to the windows. Which had bars over them.

"Well, fuck," you sighed.