#something errr about depression. and playing with other people

[spacerockband]

Imposter Symphonica

[stillnotyourmusebitch]

I can’t stop thinking of demon! Adam going through development and reaching the point of like,, doing something nice without anyone telling him to do it, purely for the sake of doing it. Something he never would have done before. Even if it’s something as small as sitting down with you while you’re watching your favorite movie or show and not shitting on it the whole time, just to keep you company. Or something like that. I dunno. I’m just a sucker for slow burn subtextual romance.

THAT, and the reader seeing his face beneath the mask, looking him the eyes, and smiling a little. Even if they say nothing. I feel like that would stick with him.

Exactly. Demon!Adam lives in my head rent free now. I know this weren't a request of sorts but I kinda wrote something for this

random ficlet below

Demon!Adam x GN!reader (Fluff)

DemonSinner!Adam is something that plays on my mind a lot. He still doesn’t believe in the whole redemption shit that Charlie is laying down but if it gets him a glimpse of seeing heaven again he is willing to try.

-----

Adam was bored and needed something to do that would put off the inevitable “therapy” session with Lucifer’s brat later. So that must be why he finds himself outside your room. He knocks lightly on your door. You didn’t answer, he knocked again louder this time. Still no answer. So he opens the door and peers in.

“Hey errr (Y/n) Charlie asked me to check on you.” A blatant lie but he won’t tell you that.

He sees you’re watching TV.

“Huh? What no shitty nickname this time?” You mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn. Adam walks over and flops down on the couch next to you.

“Oh yeah, nah I didn’t really feel like it.” He grabs a handful of your popcorn.

You quirk a brow.

“Also Charlie said nooo giving nicknames to people that demean them and also who don’t want it and people were given names to be used blah blah blah.” He shoves the popcorn into his mouth. “So what are we watchin?”

“I'm watching a movie I really like so if you're staying either shut up or fuck off.” You sink back into your blanket cocoon.

*10 minutes later*

“What the fuck! This guy clearly likes her but she goes for the other bozo. Is she blind . . . . as well as ya know hot.”

You choke on your drink. You didn’t think that this would be his kinda thing but here he was emotionally invested in the film you had picked. You had really wanted to just wallow in your depression by binge watching trashy romcoms but what was really making you feel better was watching the ‘dickmaster’ himself rooting for the underdog to open up about his feelings to the lead woman.

You go to grab some popcorn but see the bowl is empty.

“Gotta pause.” You go to stand but he stops you.

“I got this.” He hides the good deed by quickly saying “And I need to piss anyway.” You pass him the bowl.

“Not in the popcorn I hope.” You rearrange yourself back in your blanket burrito.

“HAA, You nasty but don’t watch without me. Coz that is a dick move.”

“You know all about those.” You mutter into the blanket. But Adam had gone to the hotel kitchen to make popcorn.

You chose to scroll on your phone until he got back. There were a few messages but you didn’t really feel like answering them. You flop on your side. You can always move when he came back.

While you waited in silence for Adam. You think back on how he really was getting better. After seeing him slowly open up to Charlie’s ideas and seeing that he can be a good guy when it suits him. You smile to yourself.

Your door slams open.

“Okay I’m back bitch.”

Nevermind looks like he has thrown up his walls again.

He lays out the armful of snacks and the bowl of popcorn that looks way bigger than the bowl he left with. He sees you on your side.

“You comfy down there?”

You groan and slowly sit up again. He sits back down but wraps an arm around you and hugs you into his side and nothing more.

“Okay we can continue now.” He grabs the popcorn and rests it on his lap.

You set the movie going again and snuggle just a little bit closer. For popcorn reasons of course not that Adam was nice and warm and you felt safe next to him.

“Clearly she don’t know a good thing when she sees it.” You pipe up after about three minutes into the film again. You had seen this film so many times but there was one scene that always brought out annoyance in you.

“Right!! She needs to open her eyes this guy clearly loves her for who they are and not some fake ass bs that other . . . what?” Adam stops mid-sentence looking down at you resting against his chest.

You blink a few times before realising you are staring “Huh oh nothing.”

You focus back on the screen in front of you.

The climatic end of the film was approaching and the main lead were confessing their love and as the credits role you can here someone crying. You glance up and see Adam wiping away tears.

“You okay.” You sit up and reach for the tissues on the table to hand them to him.

“What!!! I’m fine. Of course I’m fiiiine. Shut up bitch.” He grabs the tissue box from you.

“If it helps I cried the first time I watched this movie.” You wrap the blankets tighter around yourself.

“I . . . ah . . shit.” He saw you curling further in on yourself. He feels guilt crawling into his stomach. “Sorry, I’m . . .Ugh. Look I’m bad at these feel your feelings crap that Charlie spouts. But it was a good film and yeah I cried but . . .”

“It don’t make you any less of a man.”

“Yeeeah I know. Of course I know. I’m the first man.”

“Huh back to that are we.” You bump shoulders with him, making him laugh.

He pulls you back into his side “So what are we watching now?”

------

I really didn't mean for this to be as long as it was. I'm sorry

[the-writing-trash-panda]

So I’m working on something…

It’s a rewrite of Quest For The Lost Powers, but not really a rewrite because I’m not changing anything. It’s more of an expansion and adding more emotions and depth (or trying to anyway).

Here’s a snippet of the first chapter

Kai took another slurp of his noodles as he watched the screen with disinterest. Currently a commercial for Laughy’s Karaoke Club was playing. He was pretty sure the only reason that place was still in business was due to its popularity amongst gangs and smaller criminals. How had Dareth managed to attract those people to his bar? Kai pondered this as he twirled a strand of noodles around his chopsticks though he soon forgot about it when Skylor returned from the kitchen. She leaned against the counter an exasperated look on her face. “What is it you wanted to show me?”

“Look how many noodles I can slurp down all at once,” Kai said gaining the attention of some of the other restaurant’s patrons. Skylor rolled her eyes, this was getting old. She loved Kai and she loved that he would come and see her at the restaurant every night but ever since losing his Elemental Powers he had become so…depressing. No that wasn’t quite the word she was looking for. Skylor sighed inwardly, her affection for Kai mingling with a sense of frustration. She wished he could see himself the way she saw him—brave, resilient, and so much more than his elemental powers. But since their defeat of the Overlord, he seemed adrift, as if his identity had been tied too tightly to his fire. She had hoped their relationship would help him find new purpose, but lately, even that seemed to falter.

“It looks like the same amount of noodles you slurped five minutes ago, Kai,” Skylor said as she brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t you have anything bet...errr...I mean, something more important to do?”

Kai looked up at his girlfriend before whipping his mouth with his sleeve. “In case you forgot I don’t have my fire powers anymore. There’s nothing important for me to do anymore.” Above them, the TV was broadcasting a report from NGTV News. Gayle Gossip appeared on the screen, standing on a busy Ninjago City street. In the distance, police sirens wailed.

“The crime rate in Ninjago City has been steadily rising ever since rumors have begun circulating about the ninja losing their Elemental Powers. There have been multiple attempts at contacting them but they never respond. Powers or not, ninja, Ninjago City needs you!” Skylor looked at Kai in surprise. No way they had been ignoring all those calls!

“Are you kidding, you haven’t returned her calls?” Kai shrugged. “I haven't charged my phone in days,” he said. “And besides what's the point? Without my Fire powers, I’ve lost my spark.” Staring into his bowl Kai watched the broth swirl around the noodles and vegetables. Truthfully he felt bad for not helping stop the crimes, he was a ninja trained to protect and defend the innocent, but without his powers he felt useless.

That's not true,” Skylor insisted. “You still know Spinjitzu. You’re still as smart as you ever were, and brave. You can still do good in the world.”

“Ninjago City has an excellent police force,” Kai replied. “They don't need me getting in their way.”

“What about that time you got your powers back while in the Never-Realm? What did you do then,” Skylor asked hoping to help him.

Kai sighed burying his chin in his folded arms. “Look Sky I appreciate you trying to help but I’ve tried everything, nothing worked.” He buried his face deeper into his arms hiding the tears that had started to pool in the corner of his eyes.

“Hey Skylor, the potstickers are less than puffy again,” a voice from the kitchen called out interrupting the conversation. Skylor placed a hand on Kai’s arm fighting back the urge to beat some sense into him. “This conversation is not over.”

[nalyra-dreaming]

I remember Jacob saying he had finished reading merrick and that he liked some it and didn’t like a couple things, I’ve been curious what’s in the book that he would maybe not find sits right with him. The way it recontextualises louis and Claudia’s relationship, her motivations, or more broadly Louis’ role in the book altogether, or maybe what merrick does to Louis? Or that whole David and merrick situation? You have any idea what someone would find unlikable about the book?

Oh, I bet this is in regards to this gifset?

Well. Merrick... is a rather interesting, and at the same time sometimes very dull book. (I wasn't really sure how much you know of it, so just real quick!)

It is narrated by David, and you have to give it to Anne, the style is... distinct. It sometimes drags (imho, obviously).

Merrick is the titular Mayfair witch, but one of the "colored" branch, who doesn't have much to do with the main family. (No I'm so not going into that here and now, but I hope the show will if we get her tbh!!)

She helps Louis resurrect Claudia's spirit through her diary, and he, already mightily depressed by Lestat's continued coma and what he hears from Claudia, tries to commit suicide.

So far so... not good^^.

I think in regards to Jacob specifically there are a few things to consider.

He has read it, and they have taken the diaries from it so they are playing around with that context. Which means he looks at it from a how-would-that-influence-my-play perspective.

Louis in the book is back to being severely depressed. I remember Jacob saying that he has his own bouts of depression, and... I could imagine that it could be hard maybe to know he has to go that deep. (That is just a personal take though!)

David... goes from moderately interesting head of the Talamasca to Lestat's other fledgling who lives with them... and who recounts his errr... tendencies in the book. That is something Anne likes to do, reshape one's perception of people and it happens here, too. I bet, as with Marius, Jacob's perception of David shifted through that.

David treats Louis quite patronizing in the books at times. I do hope they'll skip it in the show, but in any case I could see that it would raise Jacob's hackles while reading...

And... last but definitely not least (I think): Merrick uses her spells to make Louis turn her. Forcing him. Both his fledglings, Madeleine and Merrick came to be through outside influence. I actually hated that more about the book than a possible infatuation with her. It must have been the final blow for Louis, in a way.

The change to Louis' and Claudia's past... to their relationship - now that I actually see as gold for an actor like him? Can you imagine him and Bailey facing off over that bloody altar? However, having said that, it is of course heavy for Louis. But I don't see Jacob having a problem with that.

(And just for completeness sake - no, no problems with the Lestat parts at the end either, in fact I think Jacob would love to play these parts with Sam, because they mark such a big change in their dynamic.)

So yeah, you more or less pointed at the parts of the books that I (personally) could see Jacob finding unlikable already. For various reasons, maybe.

It will be interesting if we ever hear him talk about the details.

There are quite a few very interesting details they could draw form this book though, and in regards to the Mayfair Witches, too.

[elektra-world]

In Too Deep

Summary: Ever since Sora’s accident, Jenna hasn’t been feeling the same. The groups goofiest and most lovable member battles with some inner demons that get the best of her, and she winds up hurting herself in the end.

POV: Jenna

Warnings: Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, body shaming, verbal/emotional abuse, errr...minor injury? (Poor baby....)

With the groups temporary hiatus, Jenna had grown bored. So had Mr. Park, evidently, because he had become far more abusive towards anyone in the vicinity and with most of the members being away visiting family (except for Sora), Jenna had become his favorite target these past two weeks. Everyday, it was nothing but:

"You should go to the gym more and eat less because you are once again getting fat and unsightly."

"You're a weird and immature girl with horrible manners. How any man could be attracted to you is beyond me."

"You are the ugliest member of the group. The least you could do is lose weight so fans have something nice to look at."

"That pretty boy could do much better than you and you know it."

Her down time led her to her sitting and stewing in her own paranoid, insecure thoughts. All his harsh words zoomed through her mind at the speed of light. 

Today though had been the happiest day she's experienced the last few weeks. Her and Sora had gone out to dinner with their respective partners, along with K and Kim Tan and Sevens parents as a pre-wedding celebration. It felt good being with everybody and laughing again after being alone and inactive for so long.

Naturally though, by the end of the dinner, her intrusive thoughts reared its ugly head. Jenna caught a glimpse of Venus' name and text on Junhos phone. She wanted to go shopping with him. Her mind kept flashing back to the hug Venus gave him while Junho and Jenna were in a video call and Venus was unaware. Jenna then convinced herself Venus liked him and that at some point, Junho would leave Jenna. Her reasonable side kicked it in, though - she didn't want to be a super clingy and controlling girlfriend plus she trusted him and wanted Junho to have a life of his own outside of her, so she let him go - she had to unpack, anyways, and didn’t want to bore him.

Jenna knew she was being dramatic and paranoid, which made her feel even more crazy. Did she think he would cheat on her? No. Did she believe him when he told her how much he loved her or how beautiful she was? Yes. Still, her inner demons took pleasure in playing with her emotions and wreaking havoc in her mind - it really felt like a whole different, sentient entity inside of her and took advantage of her immaturity and lack of experience when it came to relationships.

Jenna thought back to an emotional phone call with Yua form a few days ago.

“You’re letting a couple of high school losers and a sociopath with little man syndrome make you feel unworthy of love. You’re the most lovable, genuine person I’ve ever known.” Yua had told her.

“M-maybe I should break up with him...Maybe he’s better off, you know? It’s not fair for him to have to worry and constantly reassure me because I’m some stupid insecure dumb dumb. I know it’s all in my head but he deserves better, Yuyu.”

Yua hollered on the other line, the sound of her smacking the microphone blasted through the speaker. “Yah, J! Don’t be such a fool! Junho is a grown man who knows what he likes and he chose you. not venus or whatever girl you’ve concocted in your head - he chose you and only you. Plus the way he looks at you is so...Sickeningly sweet it makes me want to barf a little bit. It’s a look of a boy who’s deeply in love and nobody can fake THAT.” 

it was an overreaction on her part and thankfully, she came to her senses thanks to the help of her member, who was always very understanding yet sensible and not afraid to show some tough love when needed.

“This stupid birth control.” Jenna muttered, kicking an empty box across her room. “Turning me into some emotional, moody mess.” The tears that had threatened to spill earlier in the car finally came out and she fell back onto her bed, letting out an exasperated groan, arms and legs flailing around wildly like a child throwing a tantrum.

After fifteen minutes, she stood up and headed downstairs, wanting to distract herself with unpacking more. She grabbed a particularly heavy box and started up the stairs but due to tears that still lingered and blurred her vision, she ended up taking a mistep, dropping the box as she lost her balance, her body twisting as she attempts to catch herself using the railing.

There was a sharp pain in her ankle and she cried even harder, feeling like a complete idiot now. Sora was just starting to fully heal from her accident so the group could finally work on their next comeback, and now Jenna had gone and hurt herself. It was too much for her and she lost it in that moment, laying on the cold tile floor and sobbing for a good half an hour. A part of her just wanted to lay there and wither away. Thankfully though - after getting all her pent up emotions out, she finally came to her senses and got her phone from her jeans pocket, calling for a taxi before pushing herself up and hobbling outside.

Mentions: Junho  (@trubluestar-offical​)

A/N: It’s just a lot for our poor girl to handle. She loves being busy and loves being around people (which she hasn’t been lately) and she really cares about her friends and family. Some past traumas involving her older brother (who she adores) kind of throws her for a loop and it tends to really screw with her mind when people she cares about are injured. Add on her new birth control and she’s a bit on the overemotional, dramatic side but our food loving little butthead will get her shit together eventually.

[dantediscoversfic]

Chapter 40: The Crap Cave

“Dante! You found us!” Clio said as I hovered awkwardly in the doorway of the art room that first day of school during lunch period.

She bounded over and grabbed my elbow to draw me into the oddly dark classroom. The overhead lights were all off, the window shades partially drawn down and gloomy pop music I vaguely recognized as The Cure droned from a cassette player. About ten kids were sprawled out around the room, most of them sporting various degrees of punk/goth/New Waver style. Two corset-clad girls in billowy skirts drew intricate designs on each other’s arms in black pen; a couple dressed in “normal” clothes was making out with gusto in the corner by the potter wheels; a boy wearing all black continually skimmed his pointer finger over the top of a Bic lighter flame; and the rest were eating lunch, chatting, scribbling in notepads or singing along to the music. Clio flicked the overhead lights a few times to get everyone’s attention, eliciting a few winces and hisses and boos from the group.

“Everyone, listen up, this is Dante. He’s new. He’s from Texas, but try not to hold that against him. He’s a brilliant artist. Dante, this is everyone. That’s Raija, Jane, Sachi, Fletch and Kelly back there sucking face, Joseph, Ann, Dave, Forest and Vee.”

I was greeted with a few head nods and finger waves, except for the couple making out who kept at it with sloppy yet admirable enthusiasm. Everyone went back to their conversations as Clio led me closer to the girls she’d pointed out as being named Jane and Sachi.

“So, Dante from Texas, welcome to 'The Crap Cave’”, Clio said using air quotes. “We have lit mag meetings here and also make our own ‘zines and stuff. Raija’s mom Ms. B is the art teacher—she just stepped out for a minute—so she doesn’t care if we hang out here as long as we don’t you know, perform ritual animal sacrifices or set anything on fire. Again.” She coughed pointedly in the direction of the boy with the lighter seated a few desks down from us and the girls chuckled. Seeing my apparent confusion she said, “See, Joseph’s a bit of a pyro and went through a destruction of property phase last year, didn’t you, Jo-Jo?” The boy in question grinned slyly up at us. “But he’s got it under control now,” Clio continued. “He channels his urges into sculptures where he can use an actual blowtorch from woodshop.”

“Blowtorches rule,” he said and cast me one more glance before focusing all his attention back to his lighter and intrepid pointer finger. I couldn’t help but notice that all his fingernails were painted black and he was wearing eyeliner and dark lipstick like the girls.

I pulled my gaze away from him, not wanting to stare too hard and be rude. “What did you call this room? The ‘crap cave’?” I asked Clio. “Did I hear that right?”

“Oh yeah, you heard me right.”

“Do I even want to know?”

Clio laughed. “Don’t look so scared, we know how to use the bathrooms like everyone else. It’s a sort of long story. You ever hear of The Batcave?”

“You mean like from Bat Man comics?”

“No. Well yes, but no. Same but different. The Batcave is this famous club in London for people like us. Bauhaus, Robert Smith, Siouxie, Nick Cave, Specimen all hang out and play there. Jane actually got to go there this summer, that lucky bitch,” Clio knocked Jane’s shoulder with friendly admiration. “So we kind of started calling it that in homage to the club like a year ago. But then the school had this gross mouse problem and their little poops were, like, this constant presence in our lives, so somewhere along the line we started calling it ‘The Crap Cave’ instead. Because that's how we roll.”

“The mice were perfect and adorable, not gross,” Sachi said.

“Sachi, no. Just no. The mice themselves might have been cute but their poops definitely weren’t.”

The two girls bantered about whether the mice should have been saved and kept as pets or if they were indeed an icky health hazard while I took everyone in, trying not to gawk, and sat down to eat my packed lunch. I was fascinated by the group’s collective style: a motley assortment of teased and spiked dyed hair, leather jackets, ripped band t-shirts, corsets and lace, fishnets, heavy boots, winged eyeliner, black lipstick and nail polish, powdered white faces, spiky hardware chain jewelry mixed with rosaries, crosses and pentagram necklaces. Some of the boys were even wearing makeup, which was something you hardly ever saw in El Paso. Joseph, the pyro boy, was particularly fascinating to me. His raven hair was teased out as much as Clio’s and his dramatic eye makeup accentuated his blue eyes and delicate, almost pretty features. The flame from his Bic lighter cast a warm glow on his ghostly pale skin.

Clio must have caught me staring because she leaned in close to my ear and said, “Don’t worry, Dante, we might look at little scary but we don’t bite. At least most of us don’t. Forest over there is saving up to get his teeth filed, but it’s not for blood sucking purposes. It’s because it’ll look badass.”

“Wow. My old school in El Paso was a Catholic private school so we all had to wear uniforms. It’s so cool you can wear whatever you want here. And be whoever you want. Do you all make your own clothes? I love your corsets,” I said to Jane and Sachi.

The girls grinned at me with approval and Clio said, “I knew you were a good egg, Dante. Jane made the corsets. She’s an amazing designer and sewer. I think the rest of us get by with thrift stores, hot glue and a crapload of paperclips.”

“I’ve never really thought about my clothes before,” I said. “But now I feel so boring compared to you all.”

“Aw, there’s nothing wrong with being a normie,” Clio said and patted me on the back. “It doesn’t make you boring.”

“Well, if you want to try something new, let me know,” Jane said. “Jo-Jo’s my twin brother. I make stuff for him all the time. Cravats, vests, things like that. I’m sure he’d let you borrow something.”

“Wow, thanks. You think I’d look good?”

“Yeah, for sure. But don’t let us pressure you. We dress like this because it feels right, right? But it’s not for everyone.”

The girls nodded.

“How did you all know you wanted to get into goth stuff?” I asked.

Jane said, “Well, for me, growing up I loved making clothes and dressing up since forever. Halloween was my always my favorite holiday. I was obsessed, like obsessed. Like I’d start planning my costume and how to decorate the house six months in advance. And after it was over each year, the next day I’d get so sad and cry for days and beg my mom to keep the decorations up and let me keep wearing a cape or whatever to school every day. So when I figured out that I could dress however I wanted whenever I wanted and basically have Halloween all year round and have my clothes express how I feel inside all the time, it was like a big weight was lifted.”

“Do people make fun of you?”

“I mean, sure, dicks are dicks,” Jane said.

“We get all sorts of ignorant comments at school, on the street, wherever. Like…‘Hey Morticia, Halloween is over,’” Clio lowered her voice to a dopey male grumble.

“Or ‘Errr….Do you sleep in a coffin?’” Jane said.

“Or ‘You look pretty hot for a dead girl!’” Sachi said.

“Or my personal favorite, the classic ‘Going to a funeral?’” Clio said with an epic eyeroll. “Yeah, your funeral if you don’t shut up about it. Please. But there are lots of people who aren’t asshats and you can just ignore the losers.”

“Yeah,” Sachi said. “People say things like ‘Oh, you’d look so pretty if you didn’t dress like that’ but this is how I feel pretty and beautiful. I didn’t feel right before. Now I feel good. Right. Like myself.”

“Raija’s mom is super cool because she’s an old hippie and gets it,” Clio said. “But my mom is still waiting and praying for the day when I let her dress me all in pink pouffy dresses again. Sorry Anita, not gonna happen.” There was an edge to Clio’s voice when she talked about her mom that I hadn’t heard from her yet. It made me wonder what her home life was like.

Sachi said, “Yeah, my parents were all worried at first that I was depressed and wanting to kill myself. They tried to have an intervention with all my aunties and cousins. ‘We’re worried about you, Sachi.’ ‘This isn’t the real you.’ Um, first off, yes it is. And second off, I’m so much happier now than before when I felt like a fake.”

“Yeah, people think that we do this for attention or as a cry for help or because we’re suicidal or worship Satan or are in a cult, but that’s not true at all,” Jane said. “I started making clothes for myself when I was ten. This isn’t a ‘phase’. I’m not going to just grow out of it.”

“And finding people who are into the same bands and fashion and movies and everything makes putting up with all the weird looks and comments easier. We’re here for each other, ” Sachi said.

“And sure, we get attention,” Clio said, “because we stand out with our awesome amazingness. But it’s not like we do it for attention.”

“Yeah, I totally get it.” I said. “I think it’s great.”

The girls smiled at me and I wondered how it would feel to dress like them, if that would feel ‘right’ for me or not. I understood what Sachi had said about feeling like a fake, though, and not liking how that made me feel. I felt that way when I used to tell people my name was Dan and not Dante. I felt that way still, a little. Because I didn’t quite know what it meant to be totally free and open with myself and the world and the universe. Not when it came to the biggest secret I had. In El Paso, I felt like I already stood out by not looking Mexican enough, by liking art and poetry and books and astronomy too much. It was enough to blend in and not get teased or bullied for being a little strange. Now I wondered if I flipped the script and really tried to stand out—if I dressed all in black and put on makeup and spiked my hair and embraced my innate weirdness—if that would make me feel more like me. It might make me feel tough and cool and badass for a little while, but I doubted it would make me feel more like myself the way it did for this group. How did I know, though? I’d never tried it before.

I wondered what Ari would think of my new friends. I bet he’d like them. And then I wondered what Ari would look like in black nail polish and eyeliner. I bet he’d look like a dark glamorous rock star. The thought did funny things to my insides.

Then the art teacher, Ms. Baldwin a.k.a. Raija’s mom, came in. She had gray hair in a long braid all the way down her back and wore a long flowy dress and bangle bracelets. She turned the overhead lights on and said, “Hey darklings, the cruel daylight beckons. Gotta get ready for the next class. Lunch is over in five. And you two, yoo-hoo, Earth to Fletch and Kelly! Please rein in your raging hormones during lunch if at all humanly possible? I can’t have anyone getting pregnant on school grounds.” Everyone cracked up at that and Fletch and Kelly turned beet red but finally disentangled their entwined limbs (and tongues).

I had an art class with Ms. Baldwin later in the day so I introduced myself.

“Hi, I’m Dante Quintana, I’m in your painting class during sixth period.”

“Dante, it’s so nice to meet you. You’re new, yes? This lot showing you the ropes?”

“Yes, Clio invited me to eat lunch with her and be part of lit mag.”

“That would be lovely. I’m the advisor, so I’m sure I’ll be seeing a lot of you. How are you finding Chicago? Settling in all right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Ma’am! Please, call me Ms. B. Where are you from?”

“El Paso.”

“Ah. I’ve only been there once. EPMA is a lovely museum. Have you been to the Art Institute yet?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“We’ll be doing a field trip later in the year, but if you are a lover of art you must go. It’s one of the prides of Chicago.”

“Thanks, Ms. B, I will.”

"Now if you’ll excuse me, Dante, I have to prep for next period. See you in a few hours!”

Ms. B went over to her daughter Raija, who had been sitting off to herself drawing in a sketchpad for most of lunch, and gave her a quick side hug before disappearing into a supply closet. Since everyone else was getting packed up I ate the rest of my lunch quickly and consulted my schedule to see where I was headed next.

“You’re in sixth period drawing?” I looked up and saw it was Joseph who had asked me the question. Standing up instead of hunched over the desk I saw how truly long and lanky he was. He was about a foot taller than me.

I nodded up at him and tried to smile but had a hard time keeping eye contact.

“Cool. Me too.”

He flicked his lighter a few times in his right hand and then grinned a lopsided grin at me before heading out into the hallway right as the bell rang.

This was shaping up to be a much different first day of school than I had expected.

[ihaileysenpai]

Purpose (Bendy X Hailey Fanfic)

*Angst warning I guess? (The anon asked for it, so can’t stop me) *I was watching the plane crash episode of Grey’s Anatomy and got the idea *Its really long so fair warning *Its bad I know, shush I usually don’t kill people in stories XD

~~~~|~~~~~~ Normal Pov ~~~~|~~~~~~

**************

The smell of freshly cooked pastries filled the air, the room was dark, but the only light source was emitted from several lit lanterns that stood on the tables. Swing music filled the atmosphere with a relaxing vibe.

Bendy tapped his fingers on the wooden table as he kept with the rhythm. His younger, yet taller brother could be seen playing on stage with the band. The clarinet was easily pointed out if one listened and paid attention.

Across the table, Bendy noticed the light humming from Hailey. He glanced towards her direction. The relaxed and joyous smile on her face as her attention was fixated on the band onstage and their music.

Bendy felt the world almost fade away as he continued to stare at Hailey with a longing gaze. Many thoughts filled his head, most of which had the life threatening risks.

He didn’t realize the song was over until Hailey clapped her hands and looked at him.

She had a grin. “Good show, huh?” She remarked.

Feeling flustered that he was caught staring, Bendy tried to figure out an answer to the red head.

“I-Uh yeah it was great!” Bendy answered, fumbling over the first few words of his sentence.

“That brother of yours has some talent, it’s great to see great potential like that.” Hailey stated, almost in a daydreaming tone.

Bendy nodded his head in agreement and looked back at the stage to see his brother talking to the piano man. “Yeah, he’s good at that and being a mechanic. He’s going to be great.”

“So are you.”

Bendy turned his head to see Hailey giving him a look. He couldn’t explain it, it looked omniscient, but with something else.

“What?”

Hailey sent a quick glare at Bendy, “You’re also going to do great things. You can play the guitar and you’re one of the best mechanics in the world. May I also remind you that you’ve got the brains and the brawn?” Hailey sighed, “Bendy, you’ve got a lot going for you, whatever you think will hold you back, it shouldn’t.”

Bendy’s staring resurfaced, he was at a loss of words.

Did she know about the illness that he bared?

Was she thinking that it was something else?

“Can you just stop thinking that you’re only destined to die?” Hailey interrupted his thoughts once more.

He spoke without a moment’s thought, he wasn’t sure what he had said. It was between, ‘what are you talking about’ and 'how much do you know?’.

Hailey shrugged her shoulders, “I know that you’re keeping a big secret from me, I don’t blame you, I’m not that extravagant or important. But you’ve got a destiny, it can change the world. I don’t want you to turn cold and bitter, I don’t want you to go throw your adventure whilst depressing thoughts plaguing your thoughts and judgement.” She explained, then shifted her gaze away from the demon.

“Hailey, what are you trying to say?” Bendy questioned, not clearly understanding the message that his companion is trying to spell out for him.

“People care about you, alright? Lots of people, and I care about you too, dingus.” Hailey stated, continuing to avoid looking at him, “Because you effected so many people, you shouldn’t give up on your dreams.”

A sympathetic smile washed into Bendy’s face, he gently reached over and latched onto Hailey’s hand that rested on the table.

“I see what you’re getting at. And okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. You have a point, I’ll accept that. I’ll try and stay more 'hopeful’, okay? And I care about you too.” Bendy accepted in a feathery tone.

Hailey had a small smile on her face, returning her gaze at Bendy.

“Alright, I’m glad to hear that.” She rejoiced in her mellifluous voice.

“If anything, you could be apart of the whole destiny thing too. Me and Boris have a purpose, whose saying that you can’t join us in that? If you want to that is.” Bendy negotiated, making Hailey look aback.

“Y-you want me to join you?” Bendy nodded his head, making Hailey giggle, “Sure, I’ll come. But only if you promise to keep that mind of yours working. You need a plan for when this whole destiny thing is over, are we okie doki?” Hailey proposed.

Bendy chuckled, “With you there, I doubt I’ll have hear the end of it.”

The two smiled brightly at eachother, perhaps there was sentiment between their shared glances.

“Hey guys! I’m back!” Boris greeted with a joyous tone, as he maneuvered towards the table. “Didja like the songs?” He asked.

“It was great, Boris!” Hailey complimented.

“Yeah good job, bro.” Bendy followed, then explained what was happening to Boris.

He couldn’t help but smile, maybe he did have a future.

**********

“Where the hell are they?!” Cuphead groaned in annoyance.

“How should I know? We got seperated so fast that I couldn’t ask where everyone was going!” Bendy retorted, sarcasm lacing in his words.

The two walked at a quick pace, water dripping from their heads to their toes. They were trapped in what seemed as a labyrinth maze cave.

“Boris? Mr Felix? Hailey?”

“Mugs? Jackpot?”

The two called for the others within their group multiple times, but much to their dismay, no answers so far.

Bendy tried to light their disheartened atmosphere by talking about nurses and how everyone needed a hot nurse.

Cuphead only rolled his eyes and had his memory recall his first encounter with the rabbit nurse who took care of his brother.

Once pestering Cuphead about his sudden blush, Bendy and Cuphead were suddenly falling down after the rocks beneath them caved in.

After the tumbling the duo had to endure before reuniting with their brothers, Bendy began to question where the remaining members of the group were.

“We don’t know where Mr Felix or Jackpot are.” Boris exhaled in a defeated manner.

“What about Hailey? Did you see her?” Bendy more persistently questioned.

Mugman shook his head, causing a panic to fuel Bendy’s judgment.

“We have to keep looking.” He said in a stern tone and turned to lead the way.

“Bendy wait! We’ll find them, but we should give Boris another moment to recover.” Mugman tried to reason.

Before Bendy or anyone could respond, a loud roar and ground shaking thud appeared before them, only in the form of a humongous Bolder Spider.

The group of makes yelped in surprise, to which was followed by a wash of relief when the bolder spider fell to the ground before them and Felix hopped down with Jackpot nestling in his jacket.

“Is everyone alright?” Felix asked, inspecting everyone that was present.

“Yeah, we’re okay!” Mugman grinned.

“Bendy would be better if he found his lady friend.” Cuphead pointed out the small demon, whom looked stressed and panicked.

Felix put a hand on Bendy’s shoulder and reassured him that they would find their friend.

………

After getting their hair and fur brushed, the group trudged on, Bendy’s panicks only growing.

“Errr where can she be? Maybe she’s hiding from another giant spider, or looking for us? Maybe she’s on higher ground? O-or she got eaten by a spider, or drowned or-” Bendy began listening the possibilities in a fast speed, to which Felix turned Bendy’s attention to him.

“Bendy, calm down! Hailey is going to be fine, you know it and I know it, alright? The more you panic, the more unprepared you will be when you see her small scrapes.” Felix calmly explained, “Now take a breath and let’s keep-”

The loud booming sounds of rocks falling interrupted Felix. The group looked up, and quickly stepped aside as the rocks plummeted to the ground. With that, the quick image of a red, pale and light brownish gray fell with it.

It was at that moment that Bendy felt the world slow down. He recognized those colours.

It was her.

Once time regained its proper scheme and the rocks stopped falling, Bendy and the others rushed towards the coloured figure.

Tossing the few stones that covered her, Bendy pulled Hailey from the rocks.

“H-hey Hailey! You alright? C'mon open your eyes.” Bendy begged, struggling to sound calm.

A wince in pain and reluctant bit of her eyelids opened, made Bendy sigh in relief.

“O-ow, damn. Whoever said rock sliding was fun, is a liar. Damn I hurt.” Hailey remarked, clearly in pain.

Crouching down next to the two, Felix and the others looked for any noticeable injuries. Bendy would, but he was too busy keeping Hailey awake and talking.

“Hailey, where are you feeling pain?” Felix inquired.

“U-Um, my head, my left arm, my right knee and some of my stomach is kinda not okay.” Hailey tried to be funny, but her voice was sounding strained.

Bendy inspected her head, only to find a small goose egg (Owie) on it, Felix wrapped her lightly gashed arm and stomach.

“Alrightio, we good to go?” Felix asked, after finishing his work.

Bendy looked down at Hailey, “Can you walk?” He asked, as he tried to help her sit up.

“A-ah!” Hailey grimaced as she felt a head rush, she held her head in her hand for a moment before nodding that she could manage.

Of course, Bendy helped her with standing up and walking either way (I can walk ya dummy!).

With that the group was back on the challenge of finding the piece for the ink machine.

Bendy tried to make small talk in order to distract Hailey from her pain. Right now they were on the topic of what Felix’s newest and future books may be about (lemme read them!)

“How about a mystery of the scroll? You know, only now it’s a different scroll with some prophecy about some cult taking over the world, but the twist is that a demon saves the world?” Bendy suggested, clearly proud of his idea.

Hailey chuckled, “Are you saying that the demon would be a characterization of you? Irony Bendy, you’ve got that part right.” She remarked, then began to ponder one herself, “How about one where two idiots gamble with the devil, only to have their lives in shambles and they are forced to work for the devil, while he resurfaces a global crisis?” Hailey wondered, then sent a quick glare at Cuphead.

The Cupbros looked at eachother in a subtle manner, but were taken aback by Hailey’s comment.

Felix chuckled, “Oh please, who would be dumb enough to do that?”

Hailey shrugged her one shoulder, “Not sure, maybe it is pretty stupid. Never mind.”

(;D)

Soon, the group came to a halt when the map pointed at a wall of rocks. The group exchanged looks of confusion, before Bendy helped Hailey lean against the opposing rock wall. Bendy rolled up his sleeves and commented on how easy it would be to clear all the rocks.

Cuphead scoffed, “Don’t sell yourself short, Bendy. There’s no way that you- huh?!”

Bendy already had lifted a boulder three times his own size, catching the Cupbros by surprise.

A whistle could be heard by Hailey, “Damn sir, you aren’t one to be messed with!” She commented, causing Bendy to smirk and wink at her.

Boris then commented on how long it was going to take using Bendy’s method to clear the path. Bendy silenced cursed before setting the boulder down.

Mugs then grinned enthusiastically, “Don’t sweat it Bendy! We’ll destroy this wall in no time! Right Cup?” He offered.

Cuphead looked hesitantly and anxiously at the wall, “Umm..”

“C'mon bro! Let’s do this!”

Reluctantly, Cuphead looked at his hand, then zoned out for a moment. He could hear white noise, until Mugman asked if he was ready.

“I don’t want to, okay?! My vision is still blurry!” Cuphead shouted, uneasiness filled his tone.

“Alright, jeez.” Mugman responded, then retained his energetic demeanour. “Well then, double the power for me! You guys might want to stand back for this!”

Cuphead fell into another short daze, only to have Bendy pull him back.

“Earth to airhead, your bro told us to stand back.” Bendy remarked.

Hailey called the two boys over to her, which they obliged to.

“Hey Cupper, you okay bud?” Hailey questioned with concern.

“Y-yeah, I just don’t want to miss and have an avalanche on us.” Cuphead replied, darting his eyes to the side.

Hailey smiled gently, “Alright, just making sure you’re doing okay.”

Cuphead sighed, “Thanks.”

Bendy noticed that Mugs was beginning to use his doubled attack. Bendy put a hand on Hailey’s shoulder and stood protectively infront of her.

As the mesmerizing colours erupted from Mugman’s hands, everyone looked away and awaited for the rest of the attack.

“HIIIIIIIi- YAAA!”

Suddenly, the rocks were gone in a cloud of dust, which once was settled, shown a waterfall brightly lit.

“Great job Mugs!”

Boris and the others gathered around him and chirped happily about his abilities.

“Hey look at the opening you made! It’s so beautiful!” Hailey pointed at the waterfall.

“Let’s hope that it’s an exit.” Felix added and peered over the boulders that remained.

Boris looked down at the map and grinned, “According to the map, the piece is just up ahea-”

Suddenly Felix whipped around and hushed Boris.

Before anyone could ask the reasoning behind his sudden actions, the loud sounds of crunching erupted from the other side of the group.

The group peered over the rocks to see the giant mermaid lady munching on the giant boulder spiders.

“Holy Chrysler, that’s a big lady!” Hailey exclaimed in a hushed voice. “Bendy stop staring.” She said, not even looking at him.

Bendy blinked, “Wh-what, I wasn’t staring!”

“Yeah at the Mermaid lady at least.” Cuphead pointed out.

Hailey then looked at Bendy, who had a small blush castigated across his face. He quickly pouted and glared at Cuphead. Laughing and chuckles could be heard by the group.

The happy moment was interrupted when the group caught sight of Jackpot missing and heading towards the giant mermaid. After several attacks and Bendy throwing a boulder towards the giant mermaid, a sudden gut wrenching feeling hit Hailey.

She quickly looked at everyone, until her eyes fell upon the staring boy himself reached her field of sight.

He looked exhausted and overworked, his breath looked jagged. Leaning against the wall of rocks and slowly made her way to Bendy.

“Bendy, what’s wrong?” Hailey questioned, putting a hand on his shoulder. She felt him in onto her.

“I-I can’t, not right now.. they need me.” He murmured in transparent pain.

“An ink attack? Here just sit down for a-”

“No Hailey! I need to help- I need to- GAH!” Before her eyes, a red aura surrounded him, and black was seeping into his eyes. He held his head in his hands, and he trembled.

“Bendy- oh god what-what should I-”

It all happened so fast, she couldn’t remember the details of how it happened, but it did. Standing before her was a taller and ink dripping version of someone she cared dearly for.

“B-bendy..?”

Hailey felt for a loss of words, once he looked back at her, Hailey thought that her heart momentarily stopped. How was she supposed to react to such a scenario.

She would back up against the rocks, but she was already using them for leverage and she wouldn’t be able to.

“B-Bendy, please tell me that it’s you.” Hailey pleaded.

The tall figure loomed overtop of the smaller girl.

Unexpectedly, Hailey felt a gentle pressure on her forehead. “Don’t look so scared, Hailey. It’s still me” Bendy’s voice was deeper, but with a slight gravel.

A huge wave of relied swept over Hailey, she smiled, “There you are.”

Bnedy quickly and gently helped her to the ground. “Sit here, and don’t move. We’ll get this bitch and the piece in a few minutes, okay?”

Hailey pouted but shrugged in acceptance, “Fine, fine, just don’t let anyone else get hurt, that goes especially for you too, okay?” Hailey then smirked, “And you’ve got some explaining to do once it’s over.”

Bendy chuckled, “I promise, you’ll have the honour of being the first to hear when I figure it out.” Bendy winked and left.

That’s when the battle began. Mugs shot his laser and Bendy striked the giant mermaid every chance they got. Everyone’s reaction to Bendy’s sudden change of form was of shock, Mugman being oddly accepting of the whole concept.

After the whole mermaid suddenly changing tactics and eating Mugman, much to everyone’s horror. The brawl changed. Rocks were being thrown and the boys were taking every chance to attack.

Hailey felt uneasy, for the ground was shaking and she could hear rumbles coming closer with every collision with a person and the rocks.

She huffed out some air, in hopes that the anxious oxygen would release and ease her body.

“We can’t keep this up! We need a plan!” Boris called out to the others.

Felix looked from side to side, in hopes that an idea would form in his head.

“How about I shoot those rocks and you knock her down, then that might end her, crack her head for the piece and then we-” Cuphead suggested, trying to think of a way to get his brother out.

“That could work, let’s do it!” Bendy agreed and jumped from the side wall to tackle the mermaid down. It took some wrestling and tugging to get her off balance, but at the sound of the giant mermaid colliding onto the ground, the plan was far in motion.

The sounds of rumbling above caught the attention of Boris, Hailey and Felix.

“Cuphead wait-”

“CUPS SHOOT HER WHILES SHE’S DOWN!” Bendy shouted, not hearing Felix trying to warn them.

Not hesitating, Cuphead aimed his finger and did the similar double attack as his brother. “This is for my brother, you bitch!” He whispered and shot his attack.

As the dust clouded and the rocks tumbled down on the mermaid, Bendy quickly avoided any type of hit.

He joined the group as they watched the giant mermaid give small twitches, but her abdomen was buried under the rubble.

“Did we… is she?” Boris tried to ask, but was interrupted by only yet another rumbling sound, only this time it was louder.

“Guys, we need to move, it’s coming from over there- oh no.”

“HAILEY!”

The rocks were falling in the direction that Bendy left Hailey at. She was doing her best to scoot away but something else was wrong.

Just like when he first met her hazel green eyes, when he had their first conversation, when she fell along with the the rocks earlier and now.

Time felt like it had stopped, Bendy was frozen as he tried to lunge toward Hailey. But she looked directly at him, and moved her lips, but he didn’t hear what she was saying.

One moment he was joking with her about books and such, and now he was desperately trying to dig out his companion from a pile of rocks.

“Hailey?! Hailey! Answer me dammit!” Bendy begged and called, throwing rocks and boulders in every direction. Everyone tried to join in and help, desperation in every movement.

It wasn’t until he found a bloodied hand that he felt a higher rush of adrenaline. “I found her!” He cried and pulled more rocks from the pile.

After being able to pull her bruised and bloodied body out of the pile, Bendy cradled Hailey in his arms.

“Hailey, p-please tell me that you’re okay..” Bendy’s voice wavered, gently wiping the blood that dripped from her nose.

“She’s really beat up.” Felix murmured and began to search his bag for medical supplies, Boris followed the actions with his own bag.

“I.. t-totally lied, the rock .. slide was like rolling down a hill.. ah.. the amount of bruises I’ll have tomorrow.. that’s what I get for being fragile..” The strained and hushed voice came from the pained girl.

“Ah- Jesus, you really won’t die will ya? Tough little girl.” Cuphead remarked, in an attempt to calm everyone down.

“Haaah, yeah.. ha. If I don’t b-bleed out f-first.” Hailey remarked in parted huffs.

“You won’t! Stupid, we have bandages and medicine!” Bendy growled.

“Bandaids and painkillers won’t fix broken bones.” Hailey stated, looking right into Bendy’s eyes.

“W-we can try and cover as much as we can!” Boris said, pulling out items from his bag.

“S-see? We can patch you up enough until we can get you to a doctor.” Bendy pleaded.

“Bendy, I feel broken everywhere, it hurts everywhere… I-I don’t know how to describe it, I just-”

“Hailey stop talking like that, you are going to be fine!”

A bit of the hope that the others had slipped, as Hailey began to cough and hack up some of her own blood, to which she covered her mouth with her hand and stared at it.

“D-damn…” She cursed quietly, but more calm than what the group surrounding her were.

As her trembling hand dropped, she glanced at Felix and Boris, “Don’t waste your supplies on me, I’m a lost cause.” She smiled weakly. “Not the most heroic death I was hoping, but at least I’m not alone.”

The two stared in horror at her, before averted their distraught gazes somewhere else.

Bendy held Hailey’s chin and turned her so that they looked directly at each other, “For god sake Hailey, you can’t die!”

“But I-”

“No! You’re supposed to be here when we get this and the rest of the pieces, you’re supposed to be here when we fix the machine and I’m cured! You told me to have dreams, but I can’t if you aren’t there!” Bendy’s voice was breaking through his words. “You were going to be my person, we would get married and have a family. I can’t do that without you there! You can’t tell me to do these things and then die on me, alright?! I fucking love you so much!”

Tears began to fall from Bendy’s eyes, his lips quivered as he felt a shaky hand weakly grab onto his own.

“That sounds …nice.. how many kids would that be..?” Hailey asked, raising her eyebrow.

“.. 4, an even number, s-so no one gets left out.” Bendy wavered.

A small weak laugh escaped Hailey, as it did so, she winced in pain, “That’s a g-good idea, heh, I’d like that… because I really fucking love you too.”

Bendy tried to smile through his tears, “I-I know, so now that you and I know, you can’t d-die, you hear me?!”

Hailey’s eyes were half lidded, “Maybe a house in the countryside… you know, 'cause I’m a country girl. It’s so quiet and away from the.. crowds of people. The kids would have more room to play.. heh.” Hailey was starting to trail off her words.

Bendy looked at the others for someone to do something. His eyes clearly read his desperation for anything to happen.

Felix only nodded his head, seemingly for Bendy to continue talking to his beloved before she was gone.“

When Bendy looked back down at Hailey, her usually pale skin was now almost a new shade of white. He grabbed onto her hand and gently squeezed it.

"Y-yeah, that’s a great idea. Maybe just outside of a s-small town, so they can go to school and w-we’re close to friends.” Bendy tried to continue talking about this so called future he dreamt of, only to have it slipping away from him. “Hailey, I just want you to know that we would be s-so happy.” Bendy began to weep.

“I know, maybe I’ll.. see you there..?” Hailey’s weakened voice began to succumb to the pain.

“.. y-yeah, I’ll make sure to look for you.”

“But.. you have to fulfill your purpose.. and live your life..that’s our deal..”

Bendy hesitated to respond, it was so difficult to say goodbye to someone dear to you, let alone agree to let them go and not live the future you planned for eachother.

“…..o-okay, I-I promise.”

“Thank you… I’ll be .. wai..t ..ing.” Hailey breathes out, before her eyes were shut and her face relaxed.

Bendy bent his head down to her chest to try and hear Hailey’s heart beat. It was faint and slowly fading away.

The sounds of sobbing from the boys echoed against the rocks and interior.

And just like that, the world seemed more dimmed for Bendy.

[crushingondaddario]

92 Questions

First time ever that I’m tagged in something like this! Probably no one will read it, but thank you @travel-scrabble sooo much anyway.

LAST

Drink: Lemonsoda if water doesn’t count, first time trying it!

Phone call: The cute person that tagged me, just to find the spot where to meet

Text message: Gossiping with @narcissablaack about her first date tomorrow, saucyyy

Song you listened to: “I Believe” from The Book of Mormon but sung by Panic at the Disco! sensation Brandon Urie

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated somebody twice: Nope, kind of pointless

Cheated on someone: Not really, maybe microcheated (google it) but not proud about it

Been cheated on: Counted as yes for me, as no for him

Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes, some people are really not worth it

Lost someone special: Uhm

Been depressed: Trying to stay positive! Meditation helps

Been drunk and thrown up: Never, just been tipsy; with alcohol my face gets super red and it’s embarassing, so let’s avoid that

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: Yes, I love to make them as many as possible

Fallen out of love: Not sure if it was really love but yes; sometimes people don’t realize that they have gotten over something they used to think it would have been impossible

Laughed until you cried: I laugh pretty easily, so something particularly funny kills me

Met somebody who changed you: I think everyone changes you at least a little bit

Found out who your true friends are: I have a list of “best friends” who are very close to me

Found out someone was talking about you: Somehow I’m a topic of conversation, but I have spies who tell me everything

Kissed any of your followers: Nope, but this year yessa

GENERAL

How many of your followers do you know IRL: Probably 2, a third one @comeangeliallinferno is my best friend but I’ve never met him

Do you wanna change your name: “Tony” never excited me, but I think that people have faces that reflect their name, so I’ll deal with it

What time did you wake up today: 8 am and was veeery productive

What were you doing at 12 last night: Chatting with friends

Something you can’t wait for: First thing that came up in my mind is Broadway’s production of Moulin Rouge!

Last time you saw your mum: She kindly made me dinner before I went to the gym

Something you wish you could change about your life: Being less cranky, I get offended too easily

What are you listening to rn: Compilation of favourite musical songs

What’s getting on your nerves rn: Show-offs

Nicknames: Tony Wang Kenobi, Tognazzi, Tonno, Toninopanevino, JiaJia

In a relationship: Yes super thrilling I know crazy right

Zodiac sign: Cancer, but I don’t identify a lot with it

Pronouns: He/him

Favourite TV shows: Sense8, How I Met Your Mother, Avatar, Once Upon a Time, Glee

Hair colour: Super black, wanted to try colours but scared to weaken them

Short hair or long: Kind of in the middle, always had them short, trying to grow them longer

Height: 175 cm, wish to be taller but I like that it’s a multiple of 5

Do you have a crush on someone: Does it mean people I know or celebrities?

What do you like about yourself: I’m very empathic and I care a lot about other people, which leads me to try to interact with them in a deeper level

Tattoos: Always wanted something on the back, but then I could not donate blood anymore

FIRSTS

Surgery: Never had one, luckily

Piercings: Not a fan of them

Best friend: Lavinia for sure, we were a little couple in kindergarten; still best friends now

First vacation: Can’t remember, let’s say more memorable one was 18th birthday in the Netherlands

First pair of sneakers: I remember this incredibly! Black and white Nikes with green sole, trying to be a cool kid in middle school

RIGHT NOW

Eating: Chocolate cookies straight from the supermarket

Drinking: Water, stay hydrated folks!

Listening to: I intend to play a little the ukulele now

Wanting kids: Always dreamed of it! Maybe two

Getting married: I think it’s a nice step

Career: Let’s hope that this Med School leads to something good; I want to contribute to Médecins Sans Frontières

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: I like to look people in the eyes, no matter how they are shaped

Romantic or spontaneous: I’m a hopeless romantic, not kidding

Nose, stomach or nice arms: Dafuq, I think that “stomach” is the answer that makes more sense

Sensitive or loud: I’m both of them, they are not opposite

Relationship or hookup: Hookup suuucks, it really leaves you with nothing; better developing something with someone

Troublemaker or hesitant: ”I’m not throwing away my shot”

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Errr no, I would do it just for medical ventilation purposes

Drank hard liquor:  At parties, sometimes

Lost glasses or contacts: A contact lens fell out of my eye as I was sneezing

Broken someones heart: Yes and I’m so sorry about it

Been arrested: Who knows? Just kidding... Maybe

Turned someone down: I should have

Cried when someone died: Hm yes

Fallen for a friend: Yes and it ruined the friendship; such a pity

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Somehow yes, but there is so much to improve

Miracles: Lol, I received Catholic education

Love at first sight: I hate people who just care about looks, however some people have inspiring auras

Santa: Parents immediately told me the truth, but I wanted to believe anyway

Kiss on the first date: I’m learning to take things slower

Life after love: What does it even mean? If you love yourself, you will never run out of love

That was super fun! I tag @narcissablaack and @comeangeliallinferno which are basically the only people I know on tumblr.

[ilivewithagoblin]

I’m on furlough on work because of our state’s crisis response, so there’s no more coming in or going into my savings so we can move out of here. I’ve always been good at staying inside and keeping myself occupied with indoor activities, and I can find serenity within solitude. However...

I’m stuck in quarantine with MIL Goblin.

And it’s a shitty situation.

So far, this woman has done everything to make our lives more stressful during the crisis. I don’t even know where to start with this post. I guess I’ll start with the fact that she defecated on herself the other night. It happens to most of us at some point in our lives. She gaslit us and made us feel insane about it, though. That night, before my partner got home from his job at his grocery store, she fled to the bathroom to shower. Before making her coffee for the day (errr, night). That is a large feat. Usually, she procrastinates so hard on everything else, including her basic hygiene, that when she tells us that we can’t use the shower because she’s going to take a shower, it’s usually three days before we can actually use it after her, without her attacking us and telling us how “inconsiderate” we are for hogging the bathroom. So, back to it, she’s in the shower. P gets out. The apartment smelled like shit. He scans each room and finds that it’s coming from her room. MIL gets out of shower. Starts interrogating him about when he’s gonna cough up his portion of the rent, as usual, while grabbing a paper grocery bag. P asks his mother about the shit stench. She told him that she doesn’t smell anything, maybe the cat shit in her room (he doesn’t shit outside his box except for the couple times he has been sick), he tells her that it’s not a cat shit smell, but a human shit smell. She asks if he is having a stroke or going crazy, denies the smell, gets hostile and angry. She then goes into the kitchen, collects another paper bag from our grocery store bag stash. Goes to her room. Slams the door. P closes our bedroom door and tells me the rundown on what’s going on. About 10 minutes later, she comes and knocks on our door and asks to use our laundry basket within the hour because she HAS to do laundry. We give her the basket. She loaded her sheets and dirty clothes into our basket. As of today, 3/24/2020, her laundry is still in our basket and she has not done it. But, wait. There’s more. We ran out of doggy bags and paper bags. Each time she goes into the bathroom for longer than 30 minutes, she brings one in there with her, walks out with one in her hand. She even asked P when he was taking the dog out if he could grab her some more doggie bags from the outside dispenser. Partner declined her request. This isn’t something I’ve shared with close friends yet. This is entirely new. And yes, we are fortunate enough to have Toilet Paper right now. If you haven’t caught on, I will tell you what is happening. She is collecting her own feces. Yes. You read that right. For what reason? I have no idea and I really don’t want to know. It’s fucked, y’all. I don’t know what to do.

On another subject, my cousin and his girlfriend stopped by yesterday. They are not sick and don’t go around people often, if at all, also furloughed. They gave me a ride up and back from the store so I could grab one more thing. MIL comes out of her room, gets behind me and says to us “Oh, you’re finally leaving? Great, now I can get some fucking sleep!”. She sees my cousin and his girlfriend standing in the door way. Then, she calls me sweetie, rubs my back and tries to play it off as a joke. Cousin’s GF says to me once the coast was clear “I don’t like the way she spoke to you.” So, I told her vaguely about how MIL Goblin treats us. That conversation was very validating to me.

There’s lots of eviction threats from MIL even though our state has decided to ban evictions for the time being. And her birthday is this week. It’s a shit show. My friends aren’t doing well, each suffering in their own way and circumstances, two of them are sick right now. I’m worried about everything and everyone. There’s so much dysfunction and uncertainty going on. I’m suffering from lots of situational depression symptoms and I feel like an anchor at the bottom of the ocean, like I can’t do anything to help anyone, and too tired to help myself and it all makes me feel powerless. If it wasn’t for the cat and the dog, I would have no motivation to do anything.

[rollertoasteroflife]

Hey get ready for more info abt me than you prob wanted to know

Tagged by @katyaton heyyy I was gonna sleep but you know I love oversharing so here we go!!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. <—pah yeah we all know i’m gonna tag two people...

LAST…

Drink: water, it’s hot and I’m dying

Phone call: Err dunno hang on. apparently it was a missed call who i ddin’t know the number of and didn’t leave a message so I ignored it. Actually spoke to was my Grandma.

Text message: My friend who I’m meeting with tomorrow as I want to drag her along if I get my ear pierced.

Song you listened to: Beyonce’s Flawless. I was having a mid beyonce binge on youtube ok

Time you cried: I was cryingwith laughter earlier because of my research...i posted one of the funny things on here and then the rest were jst stories that I find hilarious. Humanity is a disaster

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: I’ve been on precisely 1 date so nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah

Been cheated on: Have never dated so nope

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: *shoves my nearly 7 years of depression under the rug* no why do you ask??

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah twice. First time I let my drunk friend get me a drink and she just poured abput 7 types of different straight liquors into a pint glass and I drank the whole thing. to be fair it tasted nice but yeah violently sick. 2nd time was after my meds were upped and I didn’t realise it would affect me so badly...I was still drunk and throwing up the next day which was unfortunately my last day of work...my boss didn’t mind though thank god. but yeah i have since learnt that i can have about three drinks and then i have to stop.

Made new friends: Yeah, for someone who is antisocial I have a surprising amount of friends

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: All the time. I am very emotional,,,

Found out someone was talking about you: I can’t think of anything but probably? dunno i have an awful memory

Met someone who changed you: Well yeah everyone helps shape you

Found out who your friends are: Don’t really agree with this as a concept, yeah I’ve lost friends but if it wasn’t right for them then no worries. 

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: Does this mean like list of facebook friends? If so yeah, I kiss my friends a lot (not on the lips just like forehead kisses etc i’m affectionate when i want to be shush) and then have also had drunk friends kiss me and just been like aight ok then

Kissed a stranger: One of said drunk friends kissing me I think was the first night I met him?? Not sure

Drank hard liquor: yep

Lost glasses/contact lenses: All the fucking time D: I lost my glasses for over a  day and then found them in the glasses case which i never put them in...i am dumb

Turned someone down: 1 person

Sex on the first date: Nope i haven’t

Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so?

Had your heart broken: Yes.

Been arrested: Do I seriously seem like I lead that interesting a life??

Cried when someone died: Yes.

Fallen for a friend: ahahah I have this fun thing where once I am very close and comfortable with a friend I can’t work out if I am romantically or sexually interested in them or not as well as caring about them as my friend??? It’s weird and I don’t know how I feel about it. Usually I just ignore it but yeah if any of those friends initiated something I’d probs go with it out of curiosity. I kind of wish it didn’t happen it’s confusing.

Kissed on the first date: no i haven’t

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: blue, red and purple

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, except like a few friends of friends

Do you have any pets: A dumb cat, an overly excited dog, and 5 chickens

Do you want to change your name: I used to want to change my sirname, I went by a different one when I was younger but as it’s not legally my name we stopped using it. I was going to chage to it when i was old enough to not need parental permission but by then I have wayyyy too much paperwork in this name to be bothered to change it. But yeah my name is annoying and people get confused by it but at this point it’s just fun to mess with them :D 

What time did you wake up: somewhere between 9 and 10??

What were you watching at midnight last night: this damned laptop screen

Name something you can’t wait for: when i can see my dumb cat again

When was the last time you saw your mom: we skyped a few hours ago

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had more control over the symptoms of my illnesses.

What are you listening to right now: my fan whilst my brain is relentlessly singing a mashup of Formation and Flawless-it’s catchy but like i wanna seep in a bit shut up brain

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah one of my childhood friends is called tom, we catch up now and then

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: My inability to actually relax and do something fun for simple enjoyment?? I am actually incapable of it

Most visited website: This shit hole

Mole/s: no

Mark/s: I accidentally stabbed myself in my thumb so that has a lovely scar on it as it went through to the muscle. I also have two scars on my face from when I was a toddler but one people don’t really notice as it’s under my nose and the other is mistaken for a dimple as it is literally a small gauge out of my face. i think that’s it?

Childhood dream: Apparently I wanted to play violin to the sharks...I was an odd child...

Do you have a crush on someone: No

What do you like about yourself: I like to think I’m mildly amusing at least

Piercings: ONe in each ear lobe but I’m actually planning on getting another in the top of my left ear tomorrow. shall see if I actually do it hah

Blood type:I don’t actually know?? And apparently you can’t just get them to check despite the fact that I’ve had a blood test so it should be on record?? But yeha I dunno

Nickname: abby is a nick name, also abs, and hoenstly just make a sound near me and I’ll probably answer! I have a lot of very bizarre nicknames and I also respond to insults...i respond to mos t things weirdly

Relationship status: Single

Zodiac:Leo

Pronouns: She/her

Favorite TV show: pushing daisies, yuri on ice, merlin, brooklyn 99, parks and rec, god so many...i watch too much tv....

Tattoos: None but I like them. However have chickened out each time I had an opportunity. I frequently daydream about ones I woould like though.

Right or left hand: Right handed but i can actually use either hand for most things which i great wehn I’m working and one hand gets tired, my uni friends all hate me for it!

Surgery: nah

Hair dyed in different color: Have tried it but my hair doesn’t hold onto dye for more than about two weeks at most. who knows why? not me

Sport: I used to row but not anymore. I practise archery but haven’t been since christmas as I wasn’t well enough to drive there. I want to start up again as I now have a new bow

Vacation: I’m debating joining a friedn in spain for a few days near her birthday but dunno if it will plan out. but like a proper vacation pahaha what do you take me for?? an adult with money???

Pair of trainers: Only have one I actually exercise in as finding ones thta fit is hard as i have odd feet. i also have hiking boots and converses

Current and all-time best friend name: I have had best friends in the past but none have ended well so instead I simply have quite a few close friends ( like seriously I have a lot of poeple that are my friend sand I have no idea why becasue i am a disaster)

Eye color: blue

Favorite movie: errr so many....ever after, mulan, httyd, just so many i can’t think i don’t have favs ok?!

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: have never really had a proper kiss so imma say hugs as I am secretly an octopus and will wrap myself around people when I want company (legit and I’m not a small person but people let me and it’s nice)

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Shorter or taller: *Both is good gif* both are excellent hugging options

Nice arms or stomach: *has just spent about 3 minutes randomly daydreaming about a variety of nice tummies and arms in detail* erm yes...

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook up or relationship: Relationship (though the thought of having a relaationship is also terrifying...)

Troublemaker or hesitant: errr fuck ok i am not good at deciding ok arghhh both is good D:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: *looks at both my low self esteem issues and my tendencies to be supremely arrogant* juries out

Miracles: yes

Love at first sight: no

Santa Claus: Well i used to

Tagging *drum roll* yaaaa guessed it @showmethestarlight and @deaded123

overshare with me, my weird losers

[spencersarc]

Welcome back all,

After a week at the all inclusive complex of The Occidental Lanzarote Mar I am ready for a week on a deserted island somewhere that not as, errr, peopley

Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for the holiday we had and the fact that Spencer’s ARC Daddy works hard so that we can afford to have holidays at all. While others are less fortunate.

However. Having now tried the all inclusive resort I now know it’s not somewhere I feel comfortable.

Pros and cons of All Inclusive

Pros

• No cooking. As a family of 7 cooking on holiday can take up quite a bit of time unless throwing a BBQ.

• Beds made and fresh towels every day if needed. Enough said! When kids are taking 3 showers a day there’s never enough towels clean if we stay at a villa. But with the resort if you have too many wet or dirty towels you can just throw them in the shower and the maids will replace them with fresh fluffy towels.

• Loads of activities to do without leaving the resort. – the kids have been rock climbing, swimming, attended the mini disco, played on the park, I tried to De stress with a bit of yoga, and we watch loads of pool games like pool football, aqua aerobics etc.

• Night time entertainment. – as I said the kids attended the mini disco where they did party dances and then had cake afterwards. The children then get their own little seating area to watch the main show. There is a kids club rep with them so are well looked after while adults watch the show.

• Unlimited ice-cream & Drinks – when we are away we can spend quite a bit on ice-creams and drinks at various cafes and bars. At the all inclusive it’s all ready been paid for! The kids can help themselves which doesn’t half make life a bit easier.

• There are reps handy for any queries regarding flights or issues with the room.

• Jet2 offer resort Check In of luggage so you simply check in your luggage on departure day and then when you arrive at the airport you can just head straight to the security area.

Cons

• The very nature of all inclusive means food is available at any point during the day. Though meal times are set for the main dinning areas. So if you want lunch say at 12 you have to just have something from the snack area like chips or a burger. If you want more of the buffet style lunch it’s not served until 1pm. With dinner starting at 7pm. When you have 4 tired hungry children 7 can be a little late.

• Once in the buffet you just help yourselves. The biggest twins have been loving it. However it has made them even more wasteful of food. Filling their plates with more than they can eat. I also wonder what happens to all the uneaten food from the buffet. I saw lots of food going back to the kitchen on numerous occasions.

• You could be anywhere in the world. – I like to explore when we go away. Find new places, and get in the car for our infamous Spencer’s Mystery Tour (On a Spencer’s Mystery Tour we get in the car and look at our map pick a village or town that looks interesting normally with a café or play-park or both or even check if there is a geocache nearby and head out looking at any sights on our way! When your in a resort there are so many activities that it leaves little time for exploring.

• It’s very peoply. – I’m happy in little groups of people. Resort life can be very busy. – when you are trying to get around with a double buggy and baggage of 7 people you can seem to be forever apologising and getting snotty looks from people if you ask them to let you through.

• No personal space. – we had a family suite which is an amazing size but the big twins seem to be falling out with each other a lot recently. Jake is very tidy and likes things just so. Melody is not so bothered about tidyness and is I hate to say a lot like me and uses a floordrobe. – so putting them in a bunk bed in a small space was never going to be plain sailing. Part time resident teen came this time too and he slept on the sofa bed which ment he had us walking through in a morning to get to the bathroom or to make the littlest twins bottles.

Our holiday did get off to a rocky start with my anxiety and depression hitting me. However once we had found our daily routine and made plans for each day we made some amazing memories.

The kids had such a blast in the pool, and we did get out and visit some of our favourite places in Lanzarote.

Jake loved being able to eat as much ice-cream as he could!

Melody enjoyed meeting new furry friends.

Mason & Jessica enjoyed trying new foods

Cameron enjoyed the Free WiFi!

Mummy and daddy Are going to enjoy their adult only break in the next couple of months!

I know going away with two sets of twins was never going to be easy but boy are we ready for a break!

So if you can suggest anywhere for me and Spencer’s ARC Daddy to go on our own leave your ideas in the comments!

Thanks

Nina x

Pros & Cons Of The All Inclusive Holidays – Jet 2, Occidental Lanzarote Mar Welcome back all, After a week at the all inclusive complex of The Occidental Lanzarote Mar I am ready for a week on a deserted island somewhere that not as, errr, peopley…

[thefootballlife]

Bannermen - Celtic's internal squabbles run parallel to Rangers justice

From starting up as a site that was, at the time, mainly focused on the goings on behind the scenes at Rangers, this site made a conscious decision to move away from it. Not because there wasn't stuff going on. Not because it had suddenly become less of a draw for clicks. But because Scottish football is about more than one club and I wanted to cover that. The past couple of weeks, however, have drawn that back to the fore in Scottish football and played out alongside one of Celtic’s occasional public relations disasters that happens around once a year to do with European football. The views of this writer when it comes to EBTs and the like are fairly clear - choosing to turn a blind eye to, or approving of, Rangers’ tax schemes is entirely wrong - the football equivalent of going in a renovation meeting “hey, those poor people don't really need cladding that’s fireproof. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!”. It was negligence, idiocy and outright driving a bus through the rules and regulations of football by certain actors within Rangers. However, this writer also appreciates that Rangers don't have titles stripped not because those investigating didn't feel their actions were wrong, but because the rule book at the time had been framed in a manner which didn't foresee this sort of industrial scale whataboutery and, therefore, there was no recourse within the rules to actually do anything about it. That is highly imperfect, of course, but must also stand. One of the founding elements of the law is that we can't change the law and then convict someone who committed an illegal act before it happened. And, while internal griefmongering around this state of affairs has gone on for years, it has ramped up since the Supreme Court passed their final verdict condemning the Rangers’ “Big Tax Case” scheme to the realms of the definitely naughty. Both the SFA and the SPFL have since come out and said that they have taken legal advice and that there aren't grounds on which to change their original verdicts in light to this new finality to the legal wrangling. Fans groups are, not surprisingly, up in arms. But this has ran parallel to another bit of internal warfare - Celtic vs Themselves. The Green Brigade are many things: vocal proponents of “ultras” culture in Scotland, unrivalled noisemakers, creative artists. And they are one other thing: a fan group which contains members who possess a self importance like no other. Celtic’s initial issue was hardly a problem of their own making: drawing Linfield in the Champions League qualifiers. Given the tie was originally due to be held alongside Orange marches and Linfield didn't want to reverse the legs to play in Glasgow first, Celtic refused to take a ticket allocation to the first leg in Belfast. They came under flak for this but, given the abuse and missiles directed at Leigh Griffiths, it was probably the right call even if some Celtic fans did appear at Windsor Park after buying tickets anyway. Linfield’s stewarding team proved themselves incapable of protecting 11 players - to expect them to competently protect 100x more than that in Celtic fans would be lunacy. But Celtic were hit with two UEFA charges - one ridiculous (for getting 5 yellow cards, one being Leigh Griffiths’ card for, errr, getting a bottle of buckfast lobbed at him) and one scarcely justified (Leigh Griffiths tying a scarf around a post as “incitement” - true but hardly the first time he's done it). This, of course, stung the sense of injustice of some Green Brigade members who conflated UEFA silliness into an excuse to be inflammatory - at the second leg, they produced two banners, both tenuously but unambiguously pro-republican and paramilitary. This, of course, was a breach of UEFA’s longstanding and well known rules on not spouting political messages at games in their competitions. But it was a breach of something else - the patience of Celtic Football Club. Unbeknownst to all, after flares were set off at the last home game of the 16/17 season, Celtic received a dressing down regarding the health and safety issues that fans waving a bunch of flares around banners inevitably causes. Celtic’s reaction: to “ban” the Green Brigade from the safe standing section for two games. While there is undoubtedly an issue with how this has been enacted (closing the entire section as opposed to removing a few troublemakers), it is easy to see why Celtic have done so. Some may fume at seeing clubs in Eastern Europe have more flares in a ground than at a late 70s disco, but Celtic are not beholden to the (not exactly on the level) rules of Belgrade or Skopje - they are beholden to Glasgow City Council, UEFA and the court of public opinion. All three of those aren't exactly fans of safe standing. GCC took years of convincing, UEFA demand it is locked to the sitting option for their games and, as for public opinion, it is not long since Hillsborough groups came out and condemned safe standing as a fallacy. The latter are, of course, talking more with their loss than with their logic. Safe standing at Celtic Park has been a resounding success in terms of revitalising an atmosphere and has added to the match day experience. Celtic’s responsibility is not to allow the Green Brigade to do what they like, it is to ensure that the standing section remains open. A flare around a banner can cause a fire which can cause a panic which can cause a disaster and Celtic would be held liable. The temporary closure of this section of Celtic Park is as much to show enemies of Safe Standing and those who begrudgingly allow it that Celtic are taking action as it is to warn the Green Brigade. Celtic’s silliness has, of course, played out in parallel and even distracted from the EBT issues. The same Celtic fans who are being told to stay away for Flag Day are the Celtic fans who most wish to see titles stripped and more if possible. More than that, there is the threat and likelihood of a fan organised judicial review into title stripping and whether the SFA and SPFL acted properly in passing judgement on Rangers’ OldCo. These rows have threatened to derail the start of the new season at a club level and on a larger scale. This is not, are nor should it be interpreted as a call for the status quo to prevail - there has been wrong done and that should be challenged - but after five years, for the issues around Rangers’ liquidation to still be dominant, for “dead club/same club” debates to still be happening is downright depressing and gives off a vibe that Scottish football is drowning in its own hubris. After all, what is a juicier lead for the back pages - new season dreams or raking up old muck? Common Sense has to start prevailing. Is now the time for everyone to start publicly airing their dirty laundry? Of course not, but it is symptomatic of how certain groups, be it the Green Brigade refusing to behave or title strippers, refuse to put a pause on an issue even when it is clearly damaging Scottish football. There may be no Old Firm, but there is definitely no dignified silence. Eventually, a line will have to be drawn in the sand. Not everyone will be happy with it, but it has to be done. The past, be it forgiven or not, has to be consigned to the past. Be it Celtic’s board or David Murray, some transgressions will have to be rectified, some will have to be ignored. But a common ground has to be found as, after half a decade of bickering about banners or flares or frauds, the primary interest has to be the betterment of the game or the club we love so dearly. Because maybe, just maybe, we all benefit when peace finally breaks out.

[rustyfilingcabinet]

Another survey because not working is boring me to death.

When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Depends who it is really. Normally if there’s a misunderstanding I try to explain both sides so they can understand better. But mostly I don’t do anything.

What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potato. Nothing wrong with sweet potato though.

Do you like the smell of men’s cologne? Depends on the cologne surely haha.  Some is lovely, some isn’t. 

What’s your all time FAVORITE microwave food? Do you eat that a lot? Once per week I havean admirals pie. And very rarely I’ll have an iceland curry or something. We don’t eat a lot of ready meals because I prefer to cook from fresh, but every once in a while it’s convenient and hits the spot.

Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and find it boring? 

Depends on the topic. I do like documentaries but if it was on the topic of like... shoe laces or something mundane i’d probably not be interested. 

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? I never had a grandma, so no.  Used to bake with mum sometimes when I was very small.

Have you ever gone into depression just because of one REALLY HORRIBLE day? FOR FUCKS SAKE. Okay. There is a difference between BEING LEGIT DEPRESSED and just HAVING A BAD DAY. You can have a bad day and feel awful. But that is not depression. 

Are you easy to get along with? Are you a people person or social butterfly? Yes and no. I am quite social. I have a fairly big circle and talk to most people. But also I’m guarded and can be very difficult to get along with if i’ve decided I don’t want you in my circle.

Were you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like Kraft dinner? Never had it, and no.

Do you and your mom have that motherly, daughterly loving relationship?

Not really, no. We’re close, but more like friends than mother daughter. She’s never been affectionate, but she’s always provided us with what we needed. 

Do you always like to have a drink with your food? Yes, always.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh God, Ew?” Errr. Not really. It’s quite superficial to be that absorbed by appearance. 

Would you rather bathe in boiling hot water or ice cold water? Hmm... I like cold showers. But i’d rather it not be either extreme haha. 

Are you excited for the Superbowl this year? Who do you want to win? Who do you think will win? I’m from England. No one gives a shit about the superbowl here.

Who was the last male you talked to on the phone? Possibly my Dad.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more? I lasted in my last one for 4.5 years, and I’ve had a ‘fling’ that’s been going on (on and off) for a year and a half. So. Yes. 

Do you hate your ex? No. I don’t like him. I don’t want to be friends with him. But I certainly don’t hate him. 

Do you drink bottled water? Occasionally. Not at home.But if I’m out and about then yeah... need to buy a good water bottle really to reuse. 

Have you lost friends in the past years? Yes.Haha. A LOT has changed in the last 12 months. Lots of shifts. Lots of developments. Become very close to people I never imagined I would, drifted from people I thought would be there forever. 

How many letters in your last name? 5.

Fess up, who was your New Years kiss? No one. I saw new years in by driving my drunk nephew home

Was your last text message from a girl or boy? A boy.

Are you sleep deprived? Nope. Been sleeping like a log lately.

Do you like kids? Yes and no. Love the idea of being a parent, love the children in my family more than I could possibly describe, but other peoples kids? nah.

Is your favorite sport to watch the same as to play? I’m not very fussed about sport. Enjoyed doing martial arts for years,but I don’t watch it. 

Do you get offended easily? No. I try to understand why people say and think what they do instead of reacting emotionally. I get passionate if someones an arsehole, but i dont get offended.

Do you get paper cuts a lot? No. 

Do you write everything down? If I need to remember something I have to write it down.

Are you holding something against someone? Erm, not that I can think of. Oh, actually, yeah. My sisters husband is a cunt. 

How long have you lived the the country you are living in right now? All my life.

Do you impress yourself often? Nope haha.

Do you like flavored teas? I do but I don’t drink them often. Used to drink raspberry tea a lot. I like chamomile tea too (smoke a doob, take my herbal anxiety tablets, drink a chamomile tea and I swear you’ll sleep deeper than you imagined possible haha)

What are you listening to? Wolfblood is on the tv because i’m childish as fuck

Do you burn incense? Yep

Do you smoke weed?

Yep.