#something that changes them. like there’s inherently a new dynamic that’s not as equal even if they treat it as such | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starphasedd · 2 years

Text

Egon

(Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader)

Rating: 18 + for violence and explicit smut.

Synopsis: A small confession leads to something completely unexpected.

Notes: As promised!! I'm super proud of this guys! I think I captured Simon quite nicely. I am new to the fandom, and still reading lore. Feel free to correct me on anything you see wrong. Egon is actually the codename for my OC Ema 'Egon' Swann. This fic started with her, but as to not be selfish, I made it more inclusive by changing it to the reader perspective! I hope you enjoy!!

Word count: 8k+

AO3

Egon.

German, by nature. Meaning "strong with the wind"

That was the nickname the men of task force 141 gave you.

They had many reasons for this name. You were fast–agile on your feet. Small and clean. It was hard for any enemy to catch you, or even see you coming. You were strong too, for a woman of your size. You could easily take down a man twice your size with the techniques you studied and used over the years. But their main reason for giving you this nickname was for your sharpshooter skills. No matter the conditions, you always made your shot. Rain, thunder, wind. You never missed. No outlying factor kept you from doing your job.

That's what gained you the respect of task force 141.

You've known these men for a while, having been asked to join the team just over two years ago. In that time, you got to learn the boys well. All of them respected you and treated you as their equal–something you worked so hard for. Being a woman in this field of work is challenging, even for some of the strongest ladies you know. That didn't stop you from doing your job–which impressed Price when he worked with you on a mission before he asked you to join the team.

It was a mission in New York City, where you were a part of the NYPD task force. The lead was mafia related and Price's team was called in to assist. Your captain at the time knew it was a risky job, and he needed devoted and dangerous men to help him take their leader down. You along with a couple of your own comrades fought side-by-side task force 141 and pushed through a successful mission.

Everything after that is history. You left with Price and his team, never looking back.

These men are your family now, and you love every single one of them in your own way. Price and Gaz keep to themselves most of the time– Soap is the one you'd definitely call 'brother'. You and him have the best dynamic. He's goofy and chill, and you adore that about him. Inherently with him comes his Lieutenant, Ghost. A man you haven't really been able to get a read on since you met him those couple years ago. Yes, of course, it's mainly to do with the fact that he wears that damn mask twenty-four-seven. But he also isn't the most personable guy. He speaks when he needs to, and fights when he has to--but he hasn't really gone out of his way to get to know you–even though you and Soap are practically attached at the hip.

Being close to Soap means he typically picks you to go along with him and Ghost on missions. Which you don't mind. When the three of you get split up, the commlink keeps you all close, figuratively.

One of the things you and Soap bonded over was your mutual adoration of music. You didn't have the best childhood, and music was your escape. It appeared Soap used music to his comfort as well. So, when you're on missions but split apart, Soap keeps in your ear either spatting off random lyrics of songs, or requesting you sing to him. Much to Ghost's dismay–who has to listen to you two banter about why you don't like country music, or why Soap can remember so many random lyrics. Ghost keeps quiet, and you wonder if you get on his nerves. He's the type of guy to speak his mind and the fact that he hasn't said anything yet suggests he may…be okay with it? Who knows with that man.

Ghost keeps close, but far away at the same time. He treated you like an equal, and always made sure he had your six. The same thing goes for you. Granted, the giant, pure muscle of a man never really needed your help. You were always there for him. Over time, he seemed to soften on you. He would use your real name on occasion. He got worried sometimes when you didn't answer his comms right away and would scold you once you were all back together.

'Fuck woman, answer the bloody comms when your superior asks for your status.' He would gruff in that deep British baritone.

You would never admit it, but something about that man set your body on fire. His size, his voice, his attitude. Fuck, his attitude alone. He exudes confidence and experience without being cocky. There's nothing quite like a confident man–a man who knows what he wants and can take it whenever he wants….but doesn’t. He was always looming over your shoulder, watching you intently through the holes in his mask. Soap would comment on it every now and then, making fun of the Lieutenant for not being able to keep his eyes off you for a moment. You didn't think it was that serious–you convinced yourself he was just watching you for your own safety. As any good teammate would.

But then the subtle touches started. You would feel his large hand splaying over your lower back as he walked beside you up the copter ramp, almost as if he was guiding you. Of course it never happened if someone was around to see it—he made sure of it. But it would happen more frequently. They were genuine, and gentle touches. And completely innocent. Being a woman, you had an intuition for men's intentions–since you dealt with them your entire life. Ghost never set any alarms off. You always felt safe with him.

You trusted him with your life, and you hoped he felt the same about you.

He was cold and calculating—mysterious and quiet. Though he showed those small, intimate minstations to you and you alone, you tried not to think too much into it. Ridding yourself of the disappointment before it reared its ugly head. You often thought about what he looked like under that mask. You've seen his eyes countless times. They were brown like freshly ground coffee. He had blonde eyelashes that stuck out amongst the black paint he smeared right there. He had a strong, chiseled jawline. Sometimes you can see a few prominent veins through his mask when he tightens it. His neck is strong and thick, no doubt riddled with scars from his many years slaughtering men.

You imagined what his body looked like too. He's a big man, standing almost an entire foot taller than you. He had thick, broad shoulders and a puffy, muscular chest. Even when he wore one hundred pounds of gear, you could still see how fit he was. His waist was thin and strong, he had a certain swagger when he walked that always caught your eye. His forearms almost looked fat, they were so fucking thick with muscle. He was covered in huge protruding veins on both arms–they were even visible on the arm that was covered in tattoos. And his hands always made you blush. They were twice the size of yours, and you spent many occasions watching his big fingers work the trigger on his guns like a thread. He was nimble, and agile there.

You wondered what they would feel like–if they would grip your throat with delicacy or fierceness. If they would roam down your neck and swallow your breasts in a warm squeeze. If they would trail your curves all the way down to your ass and nead the soft, pillowy flesh there. If they would tease you–circling around that sensitive bundle of nerves until you were weeping for him. If they would pump you, fill and stretch you out until you were ready for his cock. Or would he even give you that decency and instead, take you unprepared in a hot, lustful frenzy?

It's all human nature, you suppose. It's natural for a woman to be sexually attracted to a protector like Ghost. It goes back thousands of years–it's all instinct. That's what you tell yourself after you cum on your hand thinking about your Lieutenant. When that wave of unfiltered shame and guilt rushes over you following your high.

_______

"Egon, how copy?" Comes that familiar gruffy voice.

You jump slightly, shuddering out of your thoughts as you neel against the abandoned brick building. Your rifle in your left hand, fingers tight on the trigger.

"Jesus, Lieutenant–awaiting target. No eyes yet." You grunt out, face heating up in embarrassment. He always knew when to catch you off guard.

"Eyes on the prize, sergeant. Stay focused."

You scoff, eyes rolling as you adjust your stance slightly. It's dark, the only light you have to use coming from old, orange colored lamps hanging from the buildings. To top that off, it's been raining all day so it's doubly hard to see far in the distance. Even with a scope.

"Easy for you to say, Lieutenant. I'm out here freezing my ass off and you're inside a nice warm building." You mumble into the mic.

"Punishment for not listening to your superior."

"Bite me." You retort.

No response. You grin. Any opportunity you get to fight back at the Lieutenant scolding you, you'll take.

A few minutes in silence go by as you wait patiently for your target to come into view. You have a black mask covering the bottom half of your face, leaving only your eyes and forehead exposed. A heavy leather hood covers your hair. Soft pelts of rain dropping keep you focused in the moment. Your tactical boots are worn and wet, holes from misuse letting water in to soak your socks. The harness tied around your waist and thighs is digging into your pants, which are rubbing and chafing your skin. Your back hurts from being on your feet all day, and your head is pounding. You usually get headaches when it rains. You are so fucking ready for this day to be over.

You stay steadfast nonetheless. Eyes focused on the door the target will be coming out of.

A few more minutes go by in silence when you hear the comm start to buzz, indicating someone was about to speak.

"Why can't orphans play baseball?"

You can't help the cheeky grin that creeps its way upon your face.

"Why?" You ask.

"They don't know where home is."

"Ghost," You say with a huff, attempting to hide the laugh trying to claw its way out of your throat. "Shut the fuck up."

"It's inappropriate to speak to your superior that way."

"Sorry, let me rephrase. Shut the fuck up, sir."

"Better."

You grin, holding the butt of your rifle up to your cheek in anticipation. Your finger reaches up and you adjust the scope. You close your left eye and squint your right as you look through the glass. You hadn't realized you never turned off your mic when Ghost crimes in again.

"Control your breathing, Sergeant. It'll help you focus better."

Your breath catches in your throat the moment is deep voice comes through the ear piece. Was the bastard really listening to you breath this whole time? Your tongue slides over your bottom lip, moistening the smooth skin there. You let a long breath come out before slowly breathing back in, reducing your heart rate. With your breath now cool and even, you sink back into the task at hand.

"Atta girl." Ghost whispers in that english accent, his voice sending a wave of chills down your spine.

Your chest pulls tight at his encouraging words, and if you hadn't been so focused on the door in front of you, you may have retorted something flirty back. But just as you were about the touch the communicator, the door in your sights swings open. You pause and hunch down impossibly lower as a tall man, accompanied by three other men stumble out of the building. You're so low now your chest could practically touch your boots. Your back is arched and steady, fingers itching to pull the trigger as you search for the man you have a description of.

The rain is starting to pick up now, thunder rocketing through the air as lightning snaps to the ground in the distance. Your breathing is steady and firm, flowing visible streams in front of your face as the chill in the air makes you shiver.

You're so focused on identifying the target in front of you that you don't hear the footsteps approach you from behind. They're quiet, trained and quick. You lock eyes on the target. A tall, skinny man. He has long, curly blonde hair that flows just past his shoulders. The identifying marker is a scar on the left side of his face. It's long–stretching from the bottom of his jaw all the way up and over his eye. It stops just above his eyebrow.

Rain is starting to smear over the scope lense, making it increasingly difficult to see the taget. After a moment, you lick your lips away, your pointer finger hones down on the trigger and starts to stretch it down. The man across the way reaches down for the door handle on the SVU next to him. You take one final breath in and hold, steady and true. Your finger pulls down, emitting a loud pop in your ear. It's quick, and the target immediately falls to the ground. Not a word, not a sound. Silence as his body hits the cold, wet concrete. The men around him start to panic and pull their guns out, rapidly stomping around in circles to try and spot where the bullet came from.

One turns in your direction. He doesn't see you, but starts running in your direction. You cock back and lift on your feet. You stand to almost your full height, knees slightly bent. You pull the trigger again. The second victim drops to the ground with a loud and painful grunt. At this point, you've given yourself away. Blood rushes through your ears as the two other men start sprinting in your direction. You slowly start to back up, cocking back yet again to let another bullet fly. Bullseye–a direct hit to another man's head. Your focus now remains on the last man standing who has gone into a hiding stance. You stand up fully and start to turn. When you do, you hear the sound of another rifle going off. Blood splatters across your face as a man–whom you had no idea was directly behind you–falls against the brick wall and his lifeless body slides down.

You gasp softly at the sight–having had absolutely no clue the man was behind you getting ready to attack. You look around quickly, trying to locate where the shot came from when Ghost's voice comes through the headset.

"Thought you knew better, sergeant."

Your breathing is heavy as you look up at the building across the street. On the fourth floor, Ghost moves forward to reveal himself through the window. The bone part of his mask almost lights up as he positions his rifle and shoots the last of the men on the street. He looks down at you as he lowers his rifle. His massive body towering in the window. His eyes lock with yours as your chest heaves up and down. The hood on your jacket has fallen now, and rain is starting to soak your hair. It sticks to your cheeks and neck. The water soaks your face.

"Were you watching me?" You ask, slight irritation in your tone.

"Had I not been, you'd be dead."

You scoff, clenching your jaw and rolling your tongue in your mouth as you keep eye contact with him.

"Get down here. Let's go."

Embarrassment was evident in your tone, but you couldn't hide that from Ghost. You couldn't hide anything from a man with his experience. So you gave in and let it out.

Ghost was down in your area within a minute or so, and he approached you slowly.

It was still raining as you and Ghost started walking towards the safe house. It was a small cottage on the outskirts of this shitty little town. Price said there was a shower, and that's all you could ask for. You walk silently next to your superior, who hasn't looked at or spoken to you since he came down from the building. You keep your eyes forward and alert as your heavy boots slush through the wet streets.

"Have you heard from Soap?" You ask softly.

"Affirmative. He's on the other side of the city with Price and Gaz. They're at the other safehouse." He responded in that deep tone.

He's safe. A gentle sigh of relief left your lips as you continued your walk to the safehouse.

The walk there stays silent. With Ghost keeping close to your rear, he almost hovers over you but he's slow. Which is unusual for him. On occasion, you could have sworn you could hear his breathing. It was loud and sounded labored. You raised your voice a little at one point to ask if he was alright and grunted back at you. Something seemed off.

After a couple hours carefully trekking through the nearly flooded city, you made it to the safe house. It was pitch black, away from any city lights to give you away. It was a small, one room cottage. When you opened the door, you cleared the room with your rifle. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough to house the two of you until the morning. There was a small, two person bed, a run-down kitchen and a small, detached bathroom with holes in the door. It was filthy, but you were thankful to be out of the rain. You noticed a small fireplace that seemed clean enough to use.

You turn to Ghost, who is towering behind you. "I'll start a fire. You should try and get a hold of Price and let him know we're okay."

The large man grunted, and turned slowly in the direction on the bed. You watched his feet almost drag the floor. And when he sat down on the edge of the bed, you noticed him trying to conceal the hand that was holding his side.

You watch him for a few moments before turning your attention to the fire. It was starting to get cold. Worry about Ghost later so the both of you don't freeze to death here. Gathering what little kindling and firewood you could find, you begin to light the fire. First you pile in some pieces of wood you found here and there, and then you line the tower with what kindling you could find. Reaching into your soaked chest pocket, you pulled out the lighter you hoped wasn't flooded. And by some miracle, it wasn't. You easily ignited a small fire in the run-down fireplace.

Turning around, you glance over to see Ghost still sitting with his hand on his side. His hulking figure dips the mattress by a good bit.

"Fucking awful communicators." He grunts out before he rips the mic off his head.

"Not able to get a hold of Price, huh?" You say with a soft smile.

He shakes his head slowly. A grunt being his only response, again.

You stand from where you sit, starting to pull your weapons and gear off. Your weapons come first. You gently set the rifle up against the wall, and place your handguns beside them. Knives get stuck in a pile next to the handguns. You reach around to unstrap your vest, pulling it off your shoulders. It drops to the floor with a thud, which grabs Ghost's attention. Once your vest is off, you move to take your harness off. Ghost watches you through half lidded eyes. You prop one leg up on a grate for better access to the straps that trail from your waist, all the way down to your feet. Starting with the foot strap, you unclip the buckle. Your hands slide up your calves to your thighs, where the second set of straps dig into the skin there.

You quickly make way with those buckles and pull them down your legs. The last strap around your waist is easy. You stand and unclip the last buckle and let that strap fall to your feet. A relieved sigh leaves your lips as you turn to walk towards Ghost. He was still watching you, his hand holding his side. He hasn't moved–still sitting there uncomfortably, no doubt, in his full gear. You approach him slowly, hands hugging your hips as you test these waters.

"Let me see." You say gently as you stop directly in front of him. He's so big that he's still eye height with you, even sitting down.

"I'm fine." He grunts.

"Sir–"

"I said I'm fine. Tend to your own." He says.

"I just want to help, sir. "

He glances up at you through his mask. You're standing close–so close he can feel the heat radiating off your body. His eyes meet your face, his hand still hovering over the wound on his side.

"Do you trust me?" You ask gently.

He seems hesitant, no doubt unsure what he wants to do. But after a few moments of watching you, he lets the hand on his side slowly drop to his thigh. He breathes out slowly.

"Yes."

You take this moment to be bold for the first time with him. You suck a breath in and hold, slowly reaching forward and gliding your hands over his shoulders. They fall down his back to unstrap the back of his weapons vest. Your eyes bounce back and forth between his as your chest presses softly to the pack on the front of his body. You pull the straps up over his shoulders and let the best slide down his front, pulling it off and gently setting it down on the floor by his feet. Next, your nimble fingers work at the zipper on his jacket–pulling down until it unclips at the bottom. You run your hands over his shoulders again to pull the rain jacket off–setting it on the mattress next to him.

He looks bigger this way, which should be impossible. You just took eighty pounds of gear off his body but even now, in just his black pull-over hoodie and rain jacket, he looks bigger. His muscles are more defined. You can see the bulge of his strong pecs, the roundness of his arms.

You stand up to look at him once again.

"May I?" You ask softly.

He doesn't speak, but nods slowly.

You mind his permission and slowly grab the bottom of his hoodie, pulling it up and over his chest. What reveals is a nasty stab wound–about three inches long. Blood trails all the way down to his jeans. Most of it is dry, but some warm blood indicates it's still bleeding.

"Jesus wept. You were going to leave this unattended?" You ask, glancing up to meet his gaze.

He brings his hand up to hold his hoodie for you. You remove your hand and reach into the first aid kit attached to his utility belt. Pulling it open and starting to look through the supplies.

"I've had worse." He retorts with a snort.

You can't help but smile gently, looking at him through the corner of your eye as you rummage through his bandage pack.

"You're an idiot."

"I'll be sure to remember that when I'm doing your performance review."

"In that case, be sure to remember this. I want a raise." You say with a small laugh as you set some bandages down on his thigh.

"A raise? You can barely do what you're told now. Only good employees get raises." He retorts, you swear you can hear the grin on his mouth.

"I've never been one to respect authority." You say, a cheeky grin meeting his gaze as your hand brings a sanitary wipe to his wound.

"Fuckin' Americans."

You laugh out loud this time, hand gently gliding over his wound–cleaning it with the sanitary wipe. You take notice of his build. He's strong, thick and muscular. He has some chest hair, and some hairs that trail under his jeans. He's incredibly built as well–of course he is. You knew that. He was a huge man, and incredibly strong. There was no doubt in your mind he was sculpted to the heavens. His skin is littered with scars. Some range from as small as your fingernails, to the size of your fist. You wish you could touch them all, to ask their stories. How did he get this one? That one?

The little shack is quiet for a few more minutes as you finish cleaning and treating his wound. You take it slow so as to not cause him any discomfort. Something tells you he really doesn't care, but you do. His eyes watch you through the hole in the skull of his mask. The black eye paint makes his blue hues glow in the moonlight. Rain patters softly against the metal roof. Your hand glides smoothly over the patch you're placing over the stab wound. You flatten your palm to smooth it out as much as possible. His breathing is steady as it fans against your cheek. Your proximity to him right now may have been alarming if you didn't know him well.

He stays still, watching you as he holds the hoodie up over his chest. His gaze brings goosebumps to the back of your neck, making your hairs stand up. You feel the need to break this awkward silence.

"This scar looks like it was painful." You say ever so softly, your free hand coming down to the four inch scar on his abdomen. Your palm flattens and your thumb grazes it gently.

"They were all painful." He says, a hint of tease in his tone. His voice has softened considerably.

"Yeah? I wouldn't have guessed, sir." You say, eyes flashing up to meet his as your mouth pulls into a sweet smile again.

"Simon. No need to be formal when we're alone." He says, followed by your name. It rolled off his tongue with ease–like it was the most natural thing for him to say.

"Right. Simon–" you say softly. You're not pulling apart the last part of the bandage to stick it on top. "--how did you get this one?" You ask, pointing to another scar on one of his pecs.

"In the Military. My first deployment. This was one of the first." He says.

"I remember those days. I was eighteen when I joined the Marine Corp. Got a few scars myself. Though, they're more mental than anything." You say, bringing a hand up to tap the side of your head and smile. "Yours have more meaning behind them, I think."

"Rightfully ugly things." He says, his eyes now following your hands as they work to cover the rest of his wound.

"Not at all–" you say as you stop your movements. Your eyes meet his when he takes notice and lifts his head to see you. "--I find them endearing."

His eyes narrow slightly as he watches you–indicating he's unsure of the meaning behind your statement.

"I mean, they show your growth…as a man. You had to overcome each one of these–" you say as you move to continue wrapping his wound. "--they're all testaments to how strong you are. Mentally and physically. I don't find them ugly in the slightest."

Your hand stops moving as you've finally finished patching his wound. Standing up straight, you bring your eyes back to his. He slowly releases his hoodie to let it drop back down, but his eyes never once leave yours. He almost seems dumbfounded–at a loss for words. He just stares at you for a few moments before speaking.

"I don't understand." He says, almost a whisper.

"What's not to understand?" You ask.

His hands are laying on his thighs, but his fists are clenching and unclenching. He doesn't speak, so you take this chance to elaborate.

"Simon, I don't know much of your past. Well, anything about your past, really–" you say gently, your hands slowly glide up and test the waters, laying on top of his strong shoulders. "--I don't need to. I know the man you are now. Neither of us are perfect. But I do know that you're a good man, who will always have my back. That's all that matters."

His eyes never leave yours as your hands slowly glide over from his shoulders, and up his neck to rest holding his strong jaw.

"And I will always have yours. That's what being a team is all about."

You're holding his jaw gently; you can feel it clenching as he watches you through the skull mask. You're close to him now, closer than you have been. Your hips are slotted between his legs. His fingers reach out and softly graze the outside hem on your jeans–silently asking for permission. You glance down to his hands, before back up to his face and slowly nod.

His large hands come out to flatten against the outside of your thighs, softly squeezing the flesh there as they glide up and over your hips. They rest there, just above your ass. His warmth sends chills down your spine as he pulls you closer, your chest almost touching his. His palms spread against your curves and his thumbs dig into your belly.

"What's on your mind, sergeant?" Ghost asks, his voice barely above a whisper as your face inches closer to his.

You continue holding his jaw, keeping him attentive to you and you alone. Your breath fans over his covered lips. Your thumbs start to rub small circles over the sharp bones under them.

"I often think…" you trail off as your right thumb moves towards the center of his face--finding his bottom lip under the mask and pressing down. "...think about what your smile looks like. I reckon you're quite handsome."

"Is that right?" His voice is low, now laced with something akin to longing.

His hands give your hips a good squeeze, shuffling your lower half closer to his. His thighs trap you in their strength.

"Mhm." You hum softly.

You find yourself being bold again, thumbs leaving his lips to trail down his neck again. You locate the bottom of his mask and slip both thumbs under the hem. You stop momentarily, giving him ample time to stop you. Only, he doesn't. You can feel the moment his muscles tense and you hear his breath hitch. But his eyes never leave you, and neither do his hands. They squeeze you and pull you harder.

As to not betray his trust, your eyes slowly flutter closed. Your thumbs slip under his mask completely and gingerly begin pulling up. You pull it up and over his lips. Along the way, you can feel the defined muscles of his neck–the large veins. His chin and jaw are prickly, most likely from a recent shave. You pull it up to sit just in the tip of his nose. Eager fingers return to his chin, thumb coming back to slide over his lower lip. It's full, and warm. Feels slightly damp, like he had just licked it. His breath is warm on your hand as you continue to feel him here.

Your other fingers stretch to try and feel the back of his head, wanting to know if he has thick or coarse hair. Is it curly or straight? Blonde like his eyelashes or brown?

His hands become impatient and begin sliding up your sides. In the process, he pulls the skin-tight undershirt out from under your pants. Cold air rushes through and touches the little part of your belly exposed. As his digits continue sliding up, they eventually curve out and up both of your arms until they meet at the base of your neck. His fingers dig into the skin there and start to gently pull you forward.

In the shuffle, your hands slide down his chest and come to a rest on top of his biceps. The muscles flex under his hoodie as he pulls you forward. Your eyes stay closed as you feel his breath getting closer and closer to your face.

"Tell me to stop." He whispers. It was hoarse, and deep. Laced with lust.

You breathe out slowly, shaky and anxious.

And when you don't, he kisses you.

To say he just kisses you is a gross understatement to what the both of you start to share. Your entire body lights up, chills shooting down your spine like fireworks as he twists his head to the side and slowly licks your bottom lip. His lips are soft and giving. They flatten when they meet yours to cover as much ground as they can. You open your mouth, giving him full access to that wet cavern. Your mouth meets his again, more heated this time. His tongue slides inside your mouth with ease, shooting to fight and tackle yours in a fight for dominance.

Your fingers start to dig into his biceps, and that elicits a grunt moan from the man kissing you. He continues kissing you, tongue exploring your mouth as his large hands start to slide down your body again. His right hand slides behind you to trace your back, and his left opts to take the front. He stops at your breast–giving it a firm squeeze when he gets it in his grasp. Your nipple hardens under his firm touch, a small whimper getting lost in his mouth as he explores your body. The hand on your back pulls you impossibly closer, pressing your much smaller body tight to his.

He continues his assault on your breast for another minute or so, all while continuing to kiss you with a certain ferocity. His tongue leaves your mouth to lap up the saliva surrounding your lips and you erupt in shivers when the hand squeezing your breast starts to trail lower. He traces your curves until he reaches the metal of your belt buckle. His digits slowly begin to work at the buckle, setting the button on your jeans free once he's worked it open. He kisses you as he pulls the button open, his fingers grabbing hold of the zipper and slowly pulling it down. It feels like it takes him an eternity to work your jeans open, but your body buzzes with excitement when you hear the zipper coming down.

He stops for a moment, continuing to kiss you as his hand rests there on the buckle of your jeans. You slide your hand back up to his shoulders and softly rub the muscles there, pulling a quiet whimper from his lips. Yes, a whimper. From Ghost.

Fuck. If that doesn't get you wet, nothing will. But it does. In that moment, you feel the arousal start to ooze out of your cunt. You may have thought you started your period if you weren't sure it was because of him. You can't help but rub your thighs together when the pressure starts to become uncomfortable. Ghost takes notice of this and pulls away from you. His fingers begin to dance with the hem of your underwear.

"Tell me to stop." He repeats against your lips, still barely above a whisper. You can feel his eyes burning into you, but yours are still closed.

The cool leather of his glove meets with your sensitive skin when you don't answer him. Slowly, achingly slowly, his fingers sink under your underwear to find what he wants so desperately right now.

You whine when the leather touches your sensitive skin there, his fingers sink down through your folds to truly feel where you're warmest. His fingers glide easily through your arousal; the texture of his clove adds a bit more feeling to it.

"Fuck." he curses against your lips as he continues to rub around your needy hole.

He uses his fingers to collect your wetness and drags it up to that swollen bundle of nerves. He uses your own arousal to prepare you. His thumb begins to rub firm circles over your clit, causing you shudder and whimper in his arms. Your eyes squeeze shut harder, face heating up and turning red. Something you never thought he'd see—the freckles on your cheeks being revealed by the change in color on your face. Your fingers dig hard into his shoulders, holding on for what feels like dear life.

It's been a decade since you've been with a man. It's not something you were particularly proud of, because nothing could quite scratch that itch like the touch of a man. But your job kept you busy, and you felt just fine pleasuring yourself. You were always an independent woman. But fuck. Fuck. His touch felt like fire. Like pure bliss. The way he continued to draw tight circles over your clit while his palm flattened on your cunt and two large fingers sunk into your wet heat. They were so big, so strong while they pumped you full. It wasn't long before he found that spot too–the spongy piece of heaven deep inside your core.

Your head tumbles back on your shoulders, mouth falling open silently as his fingers work magic inside you. He leans forward, bringing his lips to your chest where it's open from the u-neck undershirt– peppering kisses on the warm skin there. Your hand involuntarily comes up to caress the back of his head. Such a sweet sentiment he does, while absolutely ruining your brief innocence with his fingers. You whimper and cry for him as he pumps and pumps and pumps.

You let out one harsh breath, followed by a quiet but sweet whimper– and out tumbles his name.

Simon.

That's all it takes to break him. He huffs a hard breath against your chest and kisses the skin one more time before pulling back, taking the hand out of your pants with him.

You gasp at the lack of contact. You almost open your eyes in the shuffle but as if he knew what was going to happen, his hand comes up to cover your eyes.

"Lay down. Now." He orders.

He guides you back a few steps, hand still over your eyes. You feel him stand, and he brings a hand to your shoulder to guide you back towards the mattress. Your legs hit the edge and cause you to fall to your back. His hand leaves your face, but you obediently keep them closed for him. He shuffles a bit before his hands are on you again, slipping your combat boots off one at a time. Then his hands are on your waist, pulling your jeans and underwear down in one swoop. Involuntarily, your hands shoot down to cover your core and you hear him grunt.

"Don't hide from me, sergeant." He says in the deep english tone.

His hands meet yours and wrap around them, slowly pulling them off your weeping cunt. A breath leaves his mouth harshly when you're revealed to him. He kneels instantly, large hands flattening against the inside of your thighs, at the apex of your legs and waist. On each side of where he just had his fingers deep. His hot breath fans against your sex.

"Fucking perfect." He says as he fits himself between your legs. His hands slide from the top, all the way to your calves to pull them up and over his shoulders.

You shudder in anticipation, back arching slightly in presentation. Ghost takes notice.

"Dirty girl." He praises

That's the last thing he says before he dives in. His mouth closes over your swollen clit, tongue circling you in a delicious dance. Your back immediately arches even more, muscles tensing down below. His tongue is smooth as it glides so elegantly over that center of pleasure. He moans into you, drinking the taste of you in. The top half of his face is still covered, only letting the bottom half of his face free so he can eat you out like this.

Your hands desperately search for purchase. They start by clenching the bedsheets, before twitching hard and moving to lay on your tummy. His hands find yours quickly and he presses down, anchoring your much smaller hands under his to your tummy. His fingers thread through yours and give a reassuring squeeze. It's odd. You'd never think of him as the gentle type. But he always seemed to surprise you.

Your hands start to close on his head, holding him still right where you want him. Anxious fingers gripping the mask and holding him down. He moans again, the vile wet sounds of his dirty act echoing through the room as he pulls you closer to an orgasm. His hands hold you steady as he pushes his face in deeper, completely enveloping his face in you. His cock grows achingly hard in his jeans, throbbing to be set free. One of his hands leaves yours to come down and insert two large fingers in yet again.

Something white and hot starts to stir in your lower belly. Like a thread being pulled tight on each end, ready to snap at any given moment. Your cunt starts to clench impossibly tight around Ghost's fingers and he moans into you yet again.

"Atta girl. I can feel it. Give me a good one." He encourages through licks.

Fuck, his voice. The tone and the accent–they do something to you. His voice repeats in the back of your mind as your muscles tense all at once. A hoarse whimper leaves your lips as he nibbles down on your little clit, cunt pulling tight and hot as the thread finally snaps and he gets what he asked for. You cum all over his face, body convulsing from the over stimulation as he continues to suck on you through the pulses. Your fingers lock dead in his mask–you think you can feel his hair. It's thick.

He groans into you, his voice vibrating your lower body as he slows his pace and inevitably decides to take pity on you and stop.

You feel his mouth leave your cunt as you struggle to catch your breath. His hands leave you too. Slightly concerned, you start to sit up. Your eyes are still closed. His hands stop you from standing up.

"Bloody delicious you are, sweet girl."

His hand caresses your jaw, and you hear him fumbling with his belt buckle, followed by the sound of his zipper coming down.

"Open."

Your eyes flutter open and you glance up at him standing tall over you. His mask is pulled back down to conceal his mouth. You lock eyes with him and stare him down as he begins to pull his cock out of his jeans. You keep your eyes on him until he breaks contact for a moment. He glances down towards his cock and then back at you. You take the hint and slowly lower your gaze until you meet his cock in all its glory. He's big–covered in veins. His tip is red and smeared with pre-cum. Gods, you got him this wound up?

"You want this?" He asks.

You don't have to answer him. The lustful look in your eyes as you glance back up at him is enough to make his cock jump. He growls low in his throat.

"Turn around. Bend over."

Not having to be told twice, you do as you're told. You stand and turn so your back is facing him. You bend down, revealing your cunt from behind as you find your place bent over the bed for him. His massive form stalks behind you–like you're his prey. Just waiting to be captured. His macho, mean, attitude has always sent chills down your spine. This situation was no different.

His hand finds your waist, gripping on your side as his other holds his heavy cock up to position it at your entrance. While he rubs the head of his cock through your slick to prepare it, the hand holding your waist moves to the center of your lower back and his palm flattens. He pushes down, forcing you to arch in presentation for him. He curses under his breath. Fucking perfect. Beautiful little cunt.

His heavy boots shuffle closer as the head of his cock begins to breach your tight hole. Your breath catches at the sudden intrusion. The hand on your lower back holds you steady as he starts pushing forward until he's fully sheathed inside you. You let a moan slip when the hand on your back starts to rub up and down you slowly, almost in a comforting manner.

"Fuck." He groans out when he bottoms out.

He starts with deep thrusts, getting your cervix used to the invasion. Your knees begin to buckle. No need to worry though. His hands both move to either side of your waist to hold you up as he begins to thrust a little faster–pulling out farther and re-sheathing himself. His back straightens and his head falls back in pleasure as soft groans come from under the mask. Your moans join him as the wet sounds of your combined arousal fills the room.

You moan sweetly–which teases him. A strong, capable woman like yourself reduced to a whimpering mess under her Lieutenant. It spurs him on and makes him needy.

He starts thrusting at a more harsh pace now. His hips collide with yours as the bed rattles on its old, dilapidated frame. The metal digging into the wooden floor. His hands squeeze your hips tight and he pulls you back onto him in time with his own thrusts.

"Insatiable woman. Drive me mad with this body." He grunts as his hips slam into yours.

"Simon–" you whimper out, cut off by a particularly sharp thrust.

"You--you know what you do to me, woman?" He starts between harsh breaths as he pounds into you. "Can't keep my eyes off you. You're a goddamn distraction–" he continues to moan loudly, not caring if anyone may hear. "--walk around in those tight ass jeans….n'that low cut shirt. You do it on purpose, don't you?"

"M's-sorry sir–" you manage to whimper as he continues to pound into you.

"The fuck you are." He says before another hard thrust. His grunts, leaning forward to grab a fistful of your hair and pull your head back.

The same sensation from earlier starts to boil over again. The thread is pulled tight once more, ready to snap at any given moment as he continues to hammer into the sensitive spot inside you. His breathing is heavy, grunting loudly in your ear as pounds down into you. You start to tighten around him once more and once again, he takes notice right away.

"Already, sweet girl? Can you give me another good one?"

You whimper his name.

"Words."

"Yes." You moan.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Simon."

"Good fucking girl."

He relases your hair and stands up straight, anchoring down on your hips and letting absolutely fucking loose. He starts pounding into you ruthlessly. His hips jackhammering into yours and rendering you speechless. His harsh thrusts steal the air from your lungs. All you can do is lay there, drool like a dog and take his cock the way he needs to give it to you.

Your orgasm snaps through you and burns like wildfire. Your body rocks violently back against his and he groans when you start to clench around him.

This was unlike any experience you've ever had. It was hard for any of your past partners to get you off, period. Ghost just made you cum twice. And violently.

"Fuck. Where do you want it?" He asks.

It takes you a few hard thrusts to try and speak–trying to gain your composure and suck some air back in your lungs to speak.

"In-inside–please–" you manage to moan.

For the first time this evening, his movements falter. He seems unsure as he tries to regain his rhythm.

"That's–no, no I can't….you'll…" he grunts as he continues to rut into you.

"Safe. I-I promise." You whimper out. "Wanna feel you."

"Fuuuuck." He groans out, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chases his release. His hands come up to grab your shoulders, anchoring down as he continues fucking your raw.

"Don't move. Don't fucking move, sweet girl. Gonna--gonna fill you up, make you mine."

"Simon--" you whimper out.

That last whimper is what seems to take him over edge. He groans your name one last time before his hips bottom out again and come to a screeching hault. You feel his cock start to throb before the warmth of his cum begins filling you. He shoots what feel like endless streams of his while juices inside until it starts overflowing and running down your thighs. You lay there on your stomach trying to catch your breath. Not long after, you hear the heaving mess of a man who just rearranged you collapse to his knees behind you. You hear him turn to sit on hid ass, shifting to lean up against the bed.

You lay there exhausted, listening to the sounds of his labored breathing. You're too worn out to move, so you opt to stay where you are. Not even caring what a mess you look like.

After a few minutes you feel yourself beginning to drift off to sleep. The exhaustion is taking over. It gets quiet after a few more minutes and you feel completely relaxed. You're so out of it, you don't notice Ghost getting up from his spot on the floor.

You don't feel him softly cleaning you with one of his extra shirts.

You don't feel him start to re-dress you.

And you don't feel him lay you down on the bed, when he climbs in behind you and wraps his arms around you.

And in the morning, it suprises you when he asks you about your time in the United States Marine Corps.

#simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #call of duty #smut #Egon

743 notes · View notes

lasplaga · 2 months

Text

-;┊ 𓆙 𝕺𝕺𝕮 ; ◥ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: 𝐁𝐘𝐅 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐒 & 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒.

I updated my dynamics page & reformed it into a full BYF dynamics page to vet writers which are fundamentally incompatible. ( Not out of malice, I'm just not comfortable writing or bending on certain things. I also want writers to be explicitly aware ahead of time in the case of triggers. At the end of the day I would like this hobby to be enjoyable for me. ) The link is HERE if you want to take a gander for yourself, but I'll be including the most prominent changes under the read-more. Some of it might be a little sensitive, so be advised. Regardless, I'm sure, or hoping, that my current followers have read the page before I updated it just now.

Last thing to note is that I added a weaknesses portion to his power list, scroll PAST his biography to see it, on the off-chance people were curious what exactly he is vulnerable to in case they wanted to use them for interactions. That's all, take care!

The most prominent change is that I won't EVER entertain Ramon X Osmund as a romantic pairing upon this blog. I won't be going out of my way to harass users who ship & write this ( Nor will I post URL's / socials, don't ask! ), but nothing in canon suggests Osmund exhibits pedophilic or incestual tendencies. Adoptive family is still family & Osmund has canonically raised Ramon before he was 8 years old. I feel that Lord Saddler ( & Los Iluminados by extension ) is ridiculously evil enough as is, so I find this dynamic wholly unnecessary & squicking for me. ( You don't need to voice your opinion about the ship in the replies, I'm just establishing boundaries. ) Continuing, other Canon's or OC's that suggest or include in their biography that Osmund ( or his religion ) exhibits pedophilic or incestual behavior will also be avoided as well. It's just not compatible & personally uncomfortable for me when nothing in canon even remotely suggests it.

I also included a section on triggering dynamics you should expect that is more or less seen in canon, mostly to cover my own ass & so people are WELL AWARE whether they want to interact with this character or not. I also included a link to my character analysis post of their sexually perverted behavior, which has been vastly expanded with links to the source materials. You can find it HERE if you don't feel like scrolling.

In terms of new mutuals interacting the first time without plotting at all beforehand, I had to think up something that was plausible as Osmund is an isolationist & hardly travels. So, from now on, I will assume 99% of the time that your muse approaches the village first & is overwhelmed by an ambush. If your muse is an outsider & it was not plotted beforehand they were permitted entry, their welcome will be treated VERY poorly. Though they do not recklessly kill outsiders, they will first be kidnapped & held captive before being given fair judgement. Judgment does not necessarily equal death. This welcomes opportunity for a wide variety of conflict & resolutions, it is VERY in character, so I feel that it works fine.

The last two are separated under the bar as they pertain to the lore of Las Plagas & Los Iluminados. I am a firm believer that antagonists should be represented appropriately ( no matter how terrible ). Also, that writers should be consciously aware of what the characters / bioweapon represent before picking them, careful to tag triggers, not force interactions, etc., & that if crucial elements are removed it is a bastardization & / or woobifying the villain, which I don't do here. The bioweapon & it's associated religions ( The one in Kijuju also counts! ) inherently represent fascism, various forms of oppression & violence. Removing that completely for aesthetic purposes I think is a disservice to the source material & awareness of real terroristic organizations. If you personally don't like it, that's fine, at that point I would suggest just going with Mold as they also utilize Nematodes / Worms, & Miranda's level of terrorism genuinely pales in comparison. But if you choose to write otherwise with Las Plagas, then our portrayals simply won't match.

Lastly, Their God is incorporeal & suggested to have cosmic origins or desires before dying upon Earth, & I will never depict he worships a different deity / person in his main verse that is not himself / another Prophet. Los Iluminados functions as a Trinity, with Dominant Hosts / Prophets being 'The Father & Son', embodying vestiges of their God in the host flesh, which are all relatively equal in power. Only Osmund Saddler is confirmed to be the last surviving in possession of a Dominant Plaga. "The Amber" IS NOT CONFIRMED to be stronger than him, only speculated without firm evidence, & they possess the same abilities / are the same species.

Starting off, Las Plagas CC's or OC's that do not include elements of mind control & / or they are entirely free of mind control, have escaped Valdelobos / Kijuju but maintained their infection whilst living a normal human life, etc. --- will be fundamentally incompatible as I abide closely to the lore. Osmund is the highest hierarchy of the caste & cannot be influenced by lower castes, but still regresses. Lower castes are subject to Osmund's influence on a spectrum. Las Plagas without elements of mental / bodily domination is lore-breaking & just does not interest me, I'm sorry if this is inconvenient for any of my current mutuals ( but I don't think it is ).

You are fine to portray your mutant as you deem fit, but Osmund’s faith would not support prejudice, xenophobia, or racism towards hosts belonging to Type-2, Type-3, or Type-4. All Plagas species function under the same caste system & under the same hivemind. They desire to bridge relationships between all nations & creeds. It would fundamentally go against his remake characterization to support hatred towards hosts of different plaga strains. If your mutant exhibits this type of bigotry, they will be called out for such, as he sees all types as his brethren / kin, especially those from North & Western Africa.

#/ the first one is arguably the most important but im not posting this with the intent of causing ship / dynamic discourse #/ certain things dont make sense to me or make me personally uncomfortable. thats all im putting down. im not advocating for harassment #<- III // V - [ PSA & HEED ] - O N H X ->#<- III // V - [ OUT OF CHARACTER ] - O N H X ->

5 notes · View notes

tartrazeen · 1 year

Text

I'm playing with the Mystic Knight polycule today 😝

I've never actually considered polycules in a fandom before, but as soon as @schimmelspore put it in my head, I dunno - this time, it clicked. This show lends itself so well to one because each character gives you a concrete personality to work with. It means even when certain dynamics aren't getting the same kind of screentime to show you what would happen, it's still easy to picture how it would be playing out somehow.

The dynamics all have something unique about them too, which might be why I've never thought a lot about polycules before. What I've been stuck with is "Okay, you two date like this, and you two date in the exact opposite way, and then when you switch, here's how you make sure all these exact same roles are in play but with different people doing them." Like a constantly self-enforcing hierarchy where every single one of them has a clear rank within the group, or a checklist of 'top/bottom/verse' that everyone has to complete. Or like a rote partner swap. Not fun for me.

But this is fun, because if two or three people are together at a time, you can't just slip in someone else without changing absolutely everything about how they interact with each other. Their relationships are distinct, and there's an equally distinct consideration that has to be made when someone else is added to the mix. There's always a slight moment of, "Is this person intruding on what these other ones are doing, even if they have all independent relationships outside of this?"

The best part is how I feel totally free from the boringly standard, "This person's a top and therefore also the dom, and this person's a bottom and therefore also the sub" fandom patterns. Like - putting aside how these characters seem so fluid across those anyway, since it's not something that just gets boiled down into sex, it feels like as soon as the tone or mood changes, everything else could change on a dime. There's a certain level of receptiveness that I get from them where they adapt to each other rather than inherently stick to their 'assigned role'. Even purposely 'sticking to a role' is situational.

There's just so much drama in this group that nothing has any reason to be consistent. Especially with the royalty factor involved in terms of who has a title, who grew up with a title, who's willing or able to put titles aside at any given moment, and how that holds up to the relationship that exists outside of any titles at all, there's a constantly shifting balance of power. To me, there are as many times where someone's insisting royalty plays a part in an interaction as there as times where it's purposely inverted, subconsciously maintained, mutually cancelled out, or inevitably overruled by the rest of the relationship (particularly where Angus is involved for that one). And like I said, depending on the tone or mood at that moment, that can all shift and shift again. Someone says something off-handedly and - bam. Things change, and there's a new question on whether they try to ignore it, notice and embrace it, or stop to figure out what it means.

And that's before we start counting the number of brain cells involved to realize, "ohhhhohohoho these guys are doomed if they pull on that thread" or "they are not gonna fucking notice that 🙃"

So for me, even though this hyperfixation of the past-several-months has been filled with many, many scenarios and daydreams of everybody getting along (or not lmao), one thing I haven't visualized is how everyone would get together. Obviously I have my favourite dynamics within everything either along the way or after everyone's discovered this can exist for them, but I'd like a little fanon narrative for how they first come together - so I can immediately reimagine it in forty other different ways 😝

Link to the full thread (the rough, messy draft version) for now :3

Yaaaaaaay here we goooooooooo

1. Angus and Rohan

Not like you'd think! I don't see these two getting together right away. In fact, I think they'd be dead last in getting officially together, and that it'd almost represent the polycule being 'complete' - quote unquote. :)

It's almost like they're bookending the whole thing: they're at the heart of this, they're the ones with the first connection of any kind (canonically!), and they're the ones with the most increasingly obnoxious "will they or won't they" that serendipitously serves as a springboard for everyone else to learn new things about themselves, mostly 'cause the others get to take a look at these two's mess and go, "LOL we are not fucking doing that."

But yes, they are my foundation for everything else. In my mind, if it wasn't for Rohan, Angus would very happily shack up with the other three at varying levels of shallowness or sincerity, but they would be entirely independent of everyone else. In other words, Angus would be cheating on all of them with all of them, and there'd be nothing bringing them all together. Rohan's the door to something 'real' - something Angus can't carelessly break and throw away, can't really outrun, and can't neatly separate into 'public' and 'private' relationships since Rohan doesn't 'do' that kind of discretion. Rohan's a painfully all-in type of person; he's the walking embodiment of a powder keg. Compared to him, everyone else is on the 'manageable' end of the scale when it comes to Angus confronting some genuine feelings, since everyone else is automatically less intense than Rohan is, and by the time these two actually figure something out with each other, those genuine feelings for everyone else stop being as scary to grapple with - 'cause again, everyone else is a thousand times less intense about it.

Likewise, if it wasn't for Angus, nobody would be getting together at all. Deirdre is too prim and proper about being a princess to initiate anything herself. Ivar's a guest in this kingdom, and while I could see him openly pursuing someone else in Kells - or Garrett, actually - I don't see him going anywhere near Deirdre (his host) or Rohan (waaaaay too much work to get him on Ivar's level). If Ivar did go after anyone, I definitely don't see it connecting to Deirdre or Rohan eventually. Those two are quite content to stare in sadly from a window, pining for romance with some theoretical soulmate that might've been in that cancelled season two lol. And Garrett? 😑 The reason Garrett wouldn't be bringing these people together is "Garrett." 'Nuff said.

It's Angus who's that common ground. :D It's Angus who's universally approachable, enticed, willing, and rule-breaking enough for "Hey, you wanna make out a little" to be a question any of them could actually be brave enough to ask (not Rohan; I mean the others), and for "Hey, you wanna make out with us" to be a question they get asked without immediately slapping the asker in the face and saying no. Unless that's their 'thing' and it's actually how they say yes. 🤔 Angus is too open for anything for his own good lmao, I love him.

So yeah - Angus is everyone's initial connection to each other, and Rohan's what turns it from being a fun romp that can end whenever into a full-blown committed relationship. Not to say that everyone's going to be as ungodly serious as Rohan is, but he's going to at least show that that is on the table. And I said 'initial' connection for Angus, because I do think some of these relationships could exist even if things fall or drift apart, but there wouldn't be something with just Rohan, Deirdre, Ivar and Garrett that could last. Angus needs to be in there to do a surprising amount of maintenance and distractions across these competing personalities. They'd kill each other without him, is what I'm saying.

But as for how they - Angus and Rohan specifically - are with each other...

My God. These two. A mess.

I'm not as concerned with whether or not either of them consciously know or suspect anything. I have my preferences, which I'll get to in a sec, but given how both of them are, they're - hilariously - gonna act the exact same way no matter what combination of 'knows' and 'doesn't know' you'd use.

My favourite is that Rohan felt something for Angus back when they were kids. He consciously remembers the moment, and in my head, it was just that they were lying in the grass and making up stories about the stars, and Angus happened to look over at Rohan in a way that stuck in Rohan's mind forever. And in a very 'Angus' way too, so Rohan keeps seeing reminders of it again as they're growing up, since - like... well, it's Angus' face. That's just what his face is. And sometimes there'll be a moment where Rohan's like, "Hm, like that one night," and then go back to whatever it was he was doing - which he's become very good at, since he mostly thinks it's a neat childhood memory.

That's 'cause Rohan, our resident genius (even though he gets a tiny pass because he was a kid when this started), has taken this feeling as proof that they're best friends. The thought that it might not be platonic or familial has not even entered the farthest reaches of his mind, and every parallel sign he sees in other people's romantic relationships translate back to him as, "Haha that's almost like me and Angus. :3 Anyway, back to sweeping or whatever tf it is I do as as an apprentice." Sexual? OH-HO-HO that's an embarrassing thought, but it's totally normal because they live together and anyway Angus says he has dreams of 'lovely maidens' so it's basically the same thing and they don't have to talk about it. Ever. Hahaha.

And in my head, even though I have different ideas for what starts that conversation off, Rohan only 'gets' it after he's talked to Ivar. This is completely separate from anything Ivar has going on with Angus, btw, because Ivar can be trusted to compartmentalize his friendship with Rohan and his one with Angus.

Rohan - for one reason or another - asks for Ivar's opinion on him and Angus. It's a somewhat generic question 'cause Rohan's never said this shit out loud and usually doesn't even question it, so Ivar gives it an equally generic answer. But Rohan's not quite satisfied with that and tries asking again, still wildly generic but more insistently about it, and the repetition is enough for Ivar to see that Rohan's trying to get at something in particular but isn't sure how. They talk for long enough that Ivar gets it, and then continue talking long enough for Ivar to explain it to Rohan. Slowly. Multiple times. Small words.

And this is Rohan having to really, really push back on what he's hearing, getting borderline defensive to cover an increasing sense of panic (classic Rohan), because if what Ivar's saying is true (it is), then that means the entire friendship since at least that night under the stars has to be re-evaluated. And Rohan's brain has only got one little hamster running in its little wheel, so this is a long process that ends with the conversation winding down as he's completely consumed by his thoughts, only to pick up again a few days later when Rohan's gotten exactly 3% further in putting it together.

The only good news is that with him being so caught up in his thoughts, he has nothing to act on yet because he doesn't understand it - so even if he's being quiet and frowning while that hamster's spinning as fast as it can, Angus can ask if everything's alright and Rohan can honestly say, "Yeah, just thinking," without it feeling awkward or concerning. This is normal for Rohan; it's what he always does when he's thinking about something big, and Angus is comfortable moving around him like this as he's staring intensely at a wall and poking him in the face when he's stopped eating again. He'll just snap out of it when he's done ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But then finally, the hamster's finished. And then finally, Rohan gets it. And that is when it suddenly becomes incredibly awkward for Rohan to be around Angus at all. Which is - uh... when Angus starts being a little worried, because it starts to seem like Rohan's avoiding him as if he's been the problem all along. But Rohan's there insisting "EVERYTHING'S FINE" in a way that means Angus shouldn't take offence, so Angus does the only thing he really can do and carries on as close to normal as he can until Rohan figures his shit out.

And oh 👏🏽 my 👏🏽 god 👏🏽 there 👏🏽 is 👏🏽 that 👏🏽 mess 👏🏽

The number of conversations Ivar gets pulled into with Rohan trying to check and double-check - thank God Ivar thinks it's funny and is being patient with him because it's funny, or Rohan would honestly implode. I kinda imagine that these conversations happen so often that Garrett stumbles onto one of them at some point, and even though they both freeze so Garrett doesn't hear anything, Ivar decides to just invite Garrett into this since who else would love to watch a human being tear himself to pieces by squirming? Garrett. Fuckin' Garrett. Of course. They probably wouldn't invite Deirdre since is Man Talk and she's a Girl™, but no one really escapes because Rohan is all-consuming and the story will eventually find you and he will take that as permission to unload all of his angst onto you too and then take none of your advice.

It should go without saying that Rohan is doing a fucking awful job of playing it cool around Angus back at home. When he isn't avoiding the guy, he's being a weird little teenager who just got his first crush, and that includes all those annoying moments of staring, stammering, walking into shit, completely forgetting to talk, talking in totally meaningless strings of words and almost-words, and then trying to brush it off with a power pose and a deliberate silence.

So Angus isn't having a good time.

Except that within that, there are still times where Rohan actually manages to relax and me a normal human being again. Conversations get past the awkwardness and finally start flowing again, chores get done, patrols are walked, herbs are picked, they don't train together because Rohan's a tragedy, and it's... nice. It's familiar. It's the closeness they've always had and it feels effortless in those moments, and as fun and safe and warm as it always has.

And then the conversation naturally peters out and Rohan is looking at Angus, wondering how he didn't see this between them before, grateful to have this with someone who's so easy to be close to...

... and just stares way too fucking long and goes back to making an ass of himself. And then runs off to go find Ivar and Garrett, who are - I cannot stress enough - loving this. It's so dumb.

As for Angus, idk, I kinda always thought he knew Rohan was clingy and touchy and generous beyond any other friend he's had, but took one look at Rohan and said, "That is a small hamster and a tiny wheel, he's got nothing backing that up," and wrote it off as harmless. Was it a crush of some kind? Maybe. Or maybe Rohan was just 'like that'. Either way, it wasn't causing Angus any problems, he enjoys the attention overall, and if it wasn't for Cathbad being shitty about 'bad influences' on Rohan, Angus could've happily lived without a single reminder that Rohan was a bit too attached at times.

So all of this? What Rohan's doing right now? It's very inconvenient at best. But at worst - and it's a race for Rohan to figure something out before Angus makes this conclusion - his idiot friend just decided he's in love with Angus after all, which would be horrible 'cause Angus does not need to deal with that. They've made it too far for Rohan to screw up what was a perfectly stable arrangement, and if that's what Rohan's trying to do, ruin it, then Angus is gonna be mad as hell.

And that's the first step in the polycule. :D

2. Angus and Deirdre

The complete and utter opposite situation is happening with these two. They've been openly flirting for a while, and the tension's always been there between them. Obviously with Deirdre being a princess, there's a line that can't be publicly crossed, but there's a lot that be heavily and plausibly denied.

It's mostly teasing from Angus at first - making fun of the princess as a joke with Rohan, then as a joke for just his own sake, and then as a joke that Deirdre starts to anticipate. She moves from being reproachful and scolding, reminding him of his place, to drawing a loose sense of enjoyment out of having someone she can return fire on. There's some calibration, I guess, in how hard they're allowed to go with that (again: princess), because some jokes carry a bit too much truth to just put out there. But Angus is surprisingly patient and Deirdre's actively checking to see if something went too far, and they're able to forge a shockingly healthy way to communicate.

They learn to gauge each other's reactions to see if their jokes landed like they intended, and they especially learn how to walk back what they said without killing the momentum overall. They're able to riff on each other, pause, take the feedback (which might be just be a purposely scrunched nose), and replace it with something better, or actually break character to explain what the problem was before going back to it, newly enlightened.

Angus and Rohan could never.

The effort and care put into learning how to tease each other, finding the line and carefully skirting it, and occasionally warning the other that they're going to try purposely crossing the line to see how it feels, becomes such a welcome way to talk that they start actually talking. Deirdre asks questions about life outside of the castle when the villagers are able to speak freely, and Angus gets curious about royal stuff and - well, Deirdre herself. On his side, some of it is just to be polite, and some of it is a hunt to find more things to tease her with later, but sometimes he's genuinely interested. She'll lie across his chest, head tucked under his chin, crown off because she's almost poked his eye out twice on that thing, and he'll idly play with her hair while she tells him what she remembers about her mother. He doesn't reciprocate on those topics, but he likes listening to her through it and being able to ground her while she's holding onto him. Maybe it's cruel to let her open up when he has no intention of sharing the same, but he's able to comfort her and distract her before she ever slips too far. He has a lot of practice with that.

Btw, they are absolutely the first two to get in bed together. This is all "deep conversations in the afterglow" talk - they absolutely had to burn off their energy before they could slow that far down again, and most of the time, 'comfort and distract her' just means Angus brings her back for the next round before he has to go to the hut. He can't exactly spend the night, and it's best to leave everything on a high note - which they can hit, because they have somehow mastered talking to each other. I have to imagine that at one point, they rolled over and high-fived. That seems like the bad influence Angus would be on her. 😝

There's discretion in their private relationship, because they're both highly motivated to keep this quiet. Deirdre can't risk anyone knowing she's been with anybody before her marriage, especially someone like Angus, so she keeps it tight-lipped. And Angus agrees with that, on top of having Rohan as his other consideration. In Angus' mind, Rohan and Deirdre are such an easy answer to his problem: it doesn't matter whether Rohan's got a crush on him or not if there's a bigger, more official relationship between Rohan and Deirdre. Then Rohan's accounted for! Problem solved! And Rohan likes her, at least agreeing with Angus every time Deirdre's brought up, so they're halfway there already.

Except that Rohan's also been very slow to act on any of it. And for all Deirdre asks about their friendship, she doesn't seem to ask about Rohan for her own sake. So yet another reason to keep from reciprocating too much (beyond it being none of her business anyway) is that he doesn't want her to get too attached. Sex is fine - sex is just for fun, but the emotions are what make or break it. Fortunately Rohan being Rohan will sweep anyone away in those once he's got his mind set on someone, so it's only a matter of managing Deirdre until then and keeping her in a pleasant state of satisfied and noncommittal fun.

... And then she wants to date him.

As in 'publicly'.

Maybe 'date' is the wrong word, but she certainly wants him to escort her to more and more shit. She volunteers him for it without even asking - like she was Rohan, right down to the terrible communication - and then stares at him with pleading, guilt-laden and royal eyes while she waits for him to answer, "Don't you want to go with me?"

And he, being a peasant, can only get so close to saying 'no'.

So she hears 'yes' and keeps doing it.

He's always quick to reassure Rohan that it's to punish him or something, haha, their little joke, dragging the common thief to some who-the-hell-cares as her guest to parade him in front of those who properly matter. Rohan (who, as I mentioned, is working on that hamster wheel about Angus) seems to accept this without much convincing, assuming he heard what Angus said in the first place. And Deirdre, of course, is expertly convincing everyone else that this is just as friends. He's only got to worry about Rohan - and, uh, apparently the king, who just wants to make extra sure that this stays 'professional'.

There are only like two dads in this show and they're both suspicious of him. 🤣 And I wonder why he's got such a complex...!

3. Angus and Garrett

This one's fun, because it's Garrett.

Garrett has such weird arc in the show. To this day, I think the worst decision they made was having the episode where he leaves for a bit be so far after he's already disappeared (he's gone in episode 28 but isn't shown to be sailing away until episode 39 for some reason, then disappears again to come back for the final fight 🙄), but even within that he's got an odd arc. He starts off as super arrogant and dickish, which is a blast! Then he gets schooled by Fin Varra and comes down a little, then gets kinda neutral-to-nice near the end of the show. He really loses his spice. Less fun.

But in all the time we see him, we never see him get to a point where it'd make reasonable sense for him to tie someone to a tree.

Angus, as far as I can tell, has a unique way to get under Garrett's skin. On purpose too - he openly laughs at Garrett in that episode with the drageen ("ummm a baby dragon is called a drageen" shut up rohan, no one asked), and he's merrily scamming Garrett out of the Dragonbow later too. In fact, the only other real spice we get from Garrett at all is when he asks Angus what happened to the Dragonbow, 'cause other than that, the guy stays fairly bland.

So to me, Angus is having fun tormenting Garrett once he becomes a Mystic Knight, partly as revenge from Garrett's (justified?) decision to tie him to a tree and gag him, and partly because it's another royal who's overly prim and proper and look how much fun he's been having with Deirdre. And Garrett's even easier to rile up because he never lets himself stoop so low as to 'return fire'. It's heaven.

And then Garrett comes back and he's boring now. :/

'Fixing this' is the key to getting Garrett tangled up in what's to come. 😏 Sure, there's probably something going on with Lynette over in that wherever that Garrett was visiting, but Lynette was such a nice princess - even nicer than Deirdre - and that's boring. Garrett's boring. Garrett used to be so much fun and now he's all patient and helpful and a team player. And Angus takes it as a personal challenge to see just how far that patience and helpfulness will go, 'cause it wasn't that long ago he was tied up, and he known he can get that side out of Garrett again.

Their dynamic is an excellent "Why don't you make me shut up" deal, which fits the first episode where we even got Garrett, and balances End-Show personality with more of the defining characteristics we know him for. He gets to be both, because just like Deirdre, there's a separation between his private and public relationships: one, he's as arrogant and unbearable as ever, and two, he's a changed man who's found some peace from having to brag about his accomplishments all the time. And Angus is ecstatic that the switch between public to private is so immediate now that he's cracked through the shell.

I see these two as being purely physical, in a way where when Rohan starts complaining about how in love he is with Angus, Garrett doesn't see the need to mention what he's been doing behind closed doors. It isn't any of Rohan's business really, and it doesn't interfere with whatever mess those two have made of their confusingly devoted friendship.

Besides, if Angus wants to stop, they can stop. It would simply mean Angus loses.

And as Garrett was pleased to discover, Angus hates losing to him as much as Garrett hates losing at all.

Their situation is almost like a permanent state of combat. Angus should've balked by now, and Garrett shouldn't have ever come close to balking, but he starts to realize what kind of person would willingly choose to live - and be best friends with - someone like Rohan. For all the complaining he'll do and concern he'll show and caution he'll preach on the battlefield, Angus is kind of... crazy? Apparently? And as he's alone with Angus one moment being casually asked if he'd like to yield, and with Rohan the next hearing him whine about how difficult it is to decide what to do, Garrett slowly starts to gain a low note of empathy for the mighty, great, and legendary warrior Draganta, hopelessly defeated by telling his friend, "I like you."

The curiosity that it stirs has Garrett making the first move emotionally. It's not that they don't talk outside of their private wars, but they don't have the same friendship as everyone else. Despite things going well with Rohan and Ivar out on the battlefield and as fellow royals, newly or not, Garrett's still a 'guest'. An outsider. In a land that he was meant to one day rule alongside Deirdre. But good luck finding any help with that from Rohan, who's back to learning how to walk in a straight line. Ivar is more helpful in theory, but Garrett needs someone who's from this land.

Angus.

Obviously.

But to strike up such a conversation so suddenly might have been off-putting to the peasant, so Garrett tries to soften it by trying to get to know Angus better.

The first thing he 'knows' is to cut that shit out and get to the point. Fair enough.

So they talk about Deirdre, and while yes, Angus is guarded in what he says, there's plenty of useful information for him to work with. Importantly, there are plenty of useful events that Angus would rather genuinely choke than have to keep going to. Perfectly normal events in Garrett's opinion, but if Angus is going to throw a fit and waste that energy on Deirdre (who he very much knows about, since Angus at his most guarded is still fairly careless), then Garret gains nothing and might as well go in his place. And Angus is delighted to start arranging that.

But that still leaves one matter unsolved. And as noted earlier, Garrett hates to lose. So his attention starts to turn towards Angus' reluctance to start talking about himself, expecting to have to push, and is floored by the total lack of resistance. Instead, Angus dryly drops a list of facts about himself, sucking away any of the thrill of the hunt that Garrett was readying himself for. In their world, this counts as another loss, but the truly frustrating part is that Angus isn't playing it as one of his taunts. It's serious; Angus truly isn't interested in talking about himself. About things, sure, and about others, but he seems to have predefined himself as 'uninteresting' without any input from Garrett (who had also prepared to agree with that assessment, but wanted to make it himself). And that drives Garrett right up the wall. It's the first true challenge Angus has ever posed to him, and it's as inexplicable as it is insurmountable.

So Garrett does what he always does: refuses to be defeated.

He needs information, just like he needed it for Deirdre. Except now he needs it about Angus. And of course, the resident Angus expert iiiiiiiiis broken oh right Rohan is useless.

But.

Ivar isn't.

And Garrett isn't a fool.

The talks they've been having with Rohan have been including more insight from Ivar lately, and it's surpassing what even Rohan could've known pre-hamster.

(ya know what? i know these posts have a text limit on mobile, so i'll just post this here and continue it in the reblog. :3 please forgive any typos you see in this one - i'm just moving right along, which unfortunately locks them all in 🥲)

#mystic knights of tir na nog

11 notes · View notes

fonulyn · 7 months

Note

May I ask why you dont like chris and piers together? (Thats totally fine but im just curious)

for me it hits too close to a teacher/student dynamic bc they clearly have this mentor/mentee kinda relationship where Piers looks up to Chris and has followed his guidance for a long time. and as a teacher, the mere thought of being into one of my students is ...ridiculous? lol. like. not even something to consider. never in a billion years. not saying they look up to me but the dynamic is still weird :'D

sure by the happenings in re6 Piers is also very experienced already so he's not afraid to speak his mind and he does so on multiple occasions, but the origins of their relationship still remains. and Chris is still his commanding officer. Chris can pull rank. Chris has the final word. technically only on the field but I'm having a hard time imagining that it wouldn't spill into their private lives too. and that's gross. it's an inherent power imbalance that just gives me the ick.

like. I COULD see it work if someone put their A game into it and handled it properly, acknowledged the issues and showed them working through those. but usually that's just glossed over. if a fic for example would move them to different teams or otherwise solve the power issue, and would acknowledge Piers growing out of the hero-worship he started with lol, then it could work. but that's not what happened in ANY of the fics I tried to read when I first got into the fandom. it was literally always just ignored in favor of "cute puppy boytoy and big gruff captain" and... no.

I am sure there are people out there who give the pairing the dynamic it deserves but at least when I got into fandom and tried to find that, the overwhelming majority of the fan content just. didn't. hopefully it has changed.

(this is also coincidentally why I'm not into the remake Krauser/Leon because they have a similar type of dynamic and I am not into it. at all. them being so much more equals in the og backstory hits all the right notes for me while the new version alienates me further. but I digress.)

(I also find it gross how the day Piers died is somehow turned into a cutesy-wutesy pairing celebration day instead of acknowledging him as a person, acknowledging the massive sacrifice he made to save the entire damn world. it always just turns into "he saved Chris! <3" while sure he did but more importantly he did it for the future, like he says himself, and I think he deserves mad respect for that. basically it feels like the shippers don't let Piers exist as a person of his own, and he only has the right to exist as a half of a pairing. which. rude. literally pick any other damn day for the pairing. let Piers get the respect and memorial he deserves.)

but when it turns into ot3, when Leon is added into the mix, I find it way easier to deal with the whole dynamic because Leon changes it fundamentally. he doesn't work with either of them, and idk, he balances things out in multiple ways. so there I can get past the issues I have with Chris and Piers and just focus on what would undeniably be a fun dynamic if you only look at their personalities.

and i admit i am not immune to their argument in re6 lol when Chris pushes Piers against the wall my brain always chants "kiss kiss kiss kiss" even tho I'm legit not into the pairing :'D

lmao I'll stop now I'm sure you didn't want such a novel as a response :'D

#anonymous #ask and i shall answer #re answers #also no hate to anyone who does like the pairing!#lol have fun with it #just not for me

6 notes · View notes

letmerambleplease · 4 months

Text

I compiled a list of themes/topics I like in media! I was wondering if there was some kind of pattern in my preferences... I don't know but this was a lot of fun! I really forces you to think about the media you consume. Can only recommend! I would be very interested in what kind of themes everyone else is interested and if I made any mistakes in my mini analysis! (Also Apologies, I did not proof read this ^^) I keep feeling like I forgot something so I will probably update the list whenever I feel like it. So, without further ado:

Themes I like

Blade Runner 2049: Living your whole life based on a very specific idea of yourself, finding out this idea may be false, regretting life choices (regret) even if that idea turns out to be true the regret felt indicates hidden emotions on the matter (also what I like about Ogatas Death Scene). Plus Lonelyness.

Do happy memories/emotions negate bad emotions, do we weigh our life on the quantity of good/bad days or do they always get overwritten ergo it only matters how you felt last (happy end) (is it a happy story if ONLY the end is happy, what about the rest? And the inverted case; always happy except for the end is that a happy or a sad tale/life?)

A lot of hurt does not come from malice but rather from a lack of care or from indifference.

Monster: Names and erasure of identity. Also similar storys breed very different people and mentalities. The difference in what you believe is the best thing to do (for everyone) and your objective moral compass, how there could be a conflict between the two. (Tenma wanting to kill Johan but also saving his life AGAIN on the principles of a doctor) The act of choosing one life over the other is inherently cruel.

The Boy and the Heron: Themes of Generations and their inheritance. What the older generations want to give the younger ones and if that even is constructive/what these new generations need. Not carrying on old structures and forming them in a new way but rather discarding them and starting anew.

Sweet Smell of Success: That sometimes the power other people hold over us is only as strong as we let it be. Power/authority comes in very different dynamics, even sometimes ones that seem to be opposite (Susie having Power over J.J and the other way around). Being selfish can foster relationships to people that are equally selfish, which ends in nobody trusting anybody.

Durarara: The sense of a place having a soul just by the many different stories, that unfold there (like an organic structure). The chaos that comes with everyday life and the feeling of being only a tiny part surrounded by a lot of people and events that happen independently from you. The Sense that there is a lot we will never know about but we could be uncounciously connected to. (Similar to alot of Cyberpunk stories)

Pandora Hearts: The Memories and moments we witness are to be cherished and not something to replace, even if we could. Would one thing change about our past, even something painful, we would not be the same person no matter if happier or better or kinder, we would just not be the same (Also a topic in Space Dandy)

Frieren: The passage of time is something that affects everyone. (Also addressed in Ruler of Everything by Tally Hall, but with the extra component of putting up a facade for other that ultimately does not matter) If we are careless a lot of connections can be lost simply by time going by that is not spent together. However on the flip side even connections we have lost can still affect not only us but through us our surroundings and other people: A mundane legacy.

Chainsawman: The thing we desire and think will make us happy can loose their effectiveness when acquired. (Similar to Durarara even the extraordinary will become ordinary at some point) The goalpost keeps moving. Which is not necessarily a bad thing or something to prove greed but rather an exploration of ourselves and what really matters to us in life. Also how to handle loss. (Goes back to good vs bad memories. Building up something positive just to destroy it deliberately). + The Importance of making our own decisions, not only indepentently from other people but also really thinking stuff over for yourself instead of just going with your first instinct.

Nausicaa: The human perspective or our perspective is not the only one on life and we should all be a bit more understanding and fluid in our understanding of the world, nature and our place in it.

Millennium Actress: The act of doing something aka the chase can be as rewarding or even more so than achieving something. (For example in terms of creating art) It is a kind of fuel that keeps us going throughout life even if we don’t know if there even is a finish line. Also the impact of media on our lives and the way they intertwine.

Breaking Bad: The downward spiral ones morality can take primarily because of pride (Pride is what I personally consider to be Walts biggest vice). (Also similar to Monster and Sweet Smell of Success the juxtaposition between choosing to do right and do wrong (not necessarily being right/good or wrong/evil) Ex: Tenma and Johan, Walt and Jesse, (Susie and Sidney? Though in this case more the juxtaposition of freeing oneself and making more and more morally questionable choices…)

Sunset Boulevard: Hurt people hurt? -> Need to rewatch

12 angry men: Need to rewatch (something about morality in a case where the truth is obstructed, not judging before every doubt is cleared, even if it’s inconvenient. If it concerns another persons life, ones own discomfort is secondary)

If you know any media with similar themes I would highly appreciate a recommendation!

There are a lot of other reasons I can think of to like a movie/series etc: atmosphere, characters, fun factor/humor, cinematography, a hot actor/actress etc... which are all valid reasons in my opinion! Themes are only one peace of the puzzle but it was interesting to take a look at them. For example: I love the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, however I don't think the themes are the main selling point for me.

0 notes

cosmicyeen · 3 years

Text

Ajsjdjd i recenrlt tracked down one of my favorite articles, and even though i first read it years ago i still think about and use the conclusions i drew from it to this day

https://www.wired.com/story/what-you-call-a-color-depends-on-how-you-use-it/

It's such a fascinating idea, that we value warm and cool differently. That the background, the frame of our world, the cool colors, is less described in color than the objects of our interest.

That we talk about colors that are more friendly to us, closer to our experience, something we even created, with more detail.

The natural earth that we walk upon, we do not as easily describe using a superficial cool color description and rather opt for function. Function over form, interwoven with how we see the world. A blanket we weave, a tool we create, we are more likely to ascribe it a value that balances form with function, color as well as insulation; whereas the aesthetics of the greater world are more incidental to its importance.

That the very first color divisions we created, were based not just on wavelength, but an intangible familiarity, almost tied up with how we interact with them. To say something was [warm color term] was not just to describe it, but to invoke a closeness to it that is separate from any cool color one.

That to this day, things like warm and cool, hot and cold, light and dark, hold context of liveliness and friendliness and intensity beyond their initial meaning. That that was baked into our perception of everything, not just ourselves!

It makes me think about how the Mayans wrote comics, and the speech bubbles that represented Anger and yelling, they were fringed with fire.

Anger: dynamic, yes, but ultimately fleeting entity, appearing and disappearing like fire against the backdrop of the ancient world changing perpetually around us

And it reminds me of a book i'm reading; in the book Braiding Sweetgrass, there is a chapter dedicated to the Native American language Potawatomi (and others), and how the distinction between environmental and created objects/beings is coded into verbs. Everything outside of immediate human creation is dynamic, not said as a noun but as a verb. A tree exists as a verb until it is turned into a table.

Value in its own existence, not as something that can be described flatly and superficially. "To be a Bay." Color be damned, when a bay is so much more than what it looks like!

And the Tsimane, they described the natural objects by their function, something dynamic and interconnected with everything, and the manmade ones by their color; unlike the english speakers, which were more likely to make no distinction.

Have we lost something there in our western lives, just as we've created a language that equates manmade objects with nature itself? What happened to change that?

Aso something to think of is how there's not a full overlap between warmth and human objects; we create overwhelmingly "warm" objects, but many warm objects like animals and fruits are created by the great, cool world. The frame of our existence is inherently equal to us, creating its own stuff we can use and need, the green of a forest occasionally bursting with the warm color of fruits and flowers for us and the animals! Just as we, dynamic beings, burst with our own creations! A mirrored creative force that we live amongst. The warmth of creation equated with the warmth of generosity.

There's so much to think of, both in understanding the way we interact with art, and the world, and each other, just using the conclusions of this article. How universal and interconnected color, warmth, volume, movement, function, everything, truly is.

#color #colors #human nature #psychology #linguistics #rambling #yeen yelling #article #nature #art

174 notes · View notes

the-lone-witch-and-secret-room · 3 years

Text

On Boschlow, Skarlow and imaginary moral superiority

Alright, before anyone wants to yell at me for putting this in the ship tags, this is less an “anti ship”-post and more of an “I want to have this conversation with shippers because I think it’s important to talk about this”-post.

So, Boschlow has always been a fairly popular ship in the fandom, which doesn’t really surprise me, because the whole bully/victim dynamic is just incredibly popular, no matter which fandom you enter.

As a person that got bullied throughout the majority of my high school years, I have thoughts about this dynamic being so popular in general, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss today.

Recently, there has been an increasing number of Skarlow shippers making art and writing fics.

What makes this so different from Boschlow?

Essentially... nothing, and that’s exactly why I felt the need to make a post about this.

I’ve seen a bunch of Skarlow shippers say they do not ship Boschlow because Boscha is an awful person, putting themselves above the Boschlow shippers and making Skarlow a “superior” dynamic, based on... what, exactly?

From my perspective, there’s exactly two things Skara has on Boscha when it comes to shipping her with Willow. One being, she hasn’t thrown trash on her—which is an incredibly low bar to set.

The other thing? Skara acknowledged Willow’s Grudgby skills at the end of WILW.

And that’s a scene that gets misinterpreted a lot. See, people take Skara being nice to Willow here as a sign that she’s a way better person than Boscha, that she’s changed, and so on and so forth.

But this is untrue.

What exactly is it that changes between the beginning of WILW and the ending of the episode, between Willow and Skara specifically? It’s that Skara has seen Willow is good at Grudgby. Grudgby is something of value to Skara, thus, Willow’s skills impressing her makes Willow someone worthy of being treated well.

The ending of the Grudgby episode isn’t everyone except Boscha suddenly magically being better people. They’re all still very much bullies. They’re just now seeing Willow as someone who is better than other people because of her skills—and should therefore be treated better.

Boscha isn’t as willing to share her imaginary pedestal with Willow. But that’s the only difference. All the Grudgby girls are currently still on that pedestal. They’re just seeing Willow as someone worth sharing it with now. If they saw someone being “weak” the way they thought Willow to be previously to the match, they’d bully that person the same way they did Willow.

This isn’t any of them being better. This is all of them behaving the same way they always have. Willow is just moving up in their social hierarchy.

It shouldn’t take being good at some magical sport, or being a talented witch, or whatever the heck, to decide not to bully someone. NOBODY deserves to be bullied. Even the weakest, least sporty witch of the Boiling Isles should be treated with the same amount of respect as any of their classmates. Your value as a person shouldn’t be defined by how good you are at something. You have value no matter what you are and aren’t good at. And that’s something Skara and the others still fail to acknowledge.

Also I think it’s worth noting that even when they were treating Willow better at the end of the episode, they didn’t go out of their way to apologize for how they’d treated her before. They acknowledged her skills and don’t at all comment on how they treated her previously to the match.

If it takes some huge effort from Willow and her friends for the Grudgby girls to treat her with even an ounce of respect, that’s not character development. Character development would be them changing their general behavior. Acknowledging the way they’ve treated others was shitty, apologizing for that and actually working on being better. Is there a possibility this might happen? Sure. But you guys basically pretend WILW is their redemption arc already fully done. You’re giving Skara and the others credit for something that currently haven’t even happened.

And the option of them ditching Boscha (which also currently hasn’t happened) wouldn’t be a redemption arc either, even if it could be part of one.

Cutting toxic people out of your life can help, but Amity’s redemption arc was that, plus her explaining herself to Willow and giving Willow time, and actually acting on her word of not letting her friends pick on her again. Amity making it up to Willow wasn’t that she cut out Boscha and Skara. It was that she not only promised to be better but acted accordingly, standing at Willow’s side when she needed her.

(And Skara not constantly being a dipshit when she’s in the background is not a valid argument for why she’s a better person than Boscha. Boscha is also a harmless character when the episode isn’t focused on her, e.g. in Covention & Sense and Insensitivity. That Skara isn’t actively bullying her friends—which, uh, most people like their friends? This shouldn’t be that surprising?—is not a thing that should earn her any points in being “nicer” than Boscha.)

Do I think it might be a bit easier to get through to Skara than Boscha when it comes to letting go of current behaviors? Possibly.

From the way their characters are written and with how Boscha refuses to acknowledge Willow as equal even after the Grudgby match, it’s fairly obvious that it would need some pretty major event to get through to her. There’s an extra step here with Boscha (needing to learn to acknowledge others as having equal value to herself) that Skara doesn’t need to take.

BUT that one step in what should be a fairly long journey for either of them is far from enough to justify one ship being better than the other.

From the way I’ve seen it written (and unfortunately also experienced it in the comment section of my own fic), a bunch of skarlow shippers like to excuse Skara’s behavior by entirely pinning it on Boscha, pretending she’s actually a great person and that it’s only her friendship with Boscha that makes her toxic—and also that Boscha is the only one that should be held accountable for everyone’s behavior.

I am not exaggerating, I got a comment that essentially said “this shows wonderfully that Amelia and Skara are actually good people that unfortunately met a horrible person that had too much control over them.”

This strips Skara and Amelia of any accountability for their actions. And the idea of Boscha being an evil mastermind that forced all her friends into doing things they never wanted is... quite frankly, stupid, and also untrue. Skara actively encourages Boscha making fun of Willow at the beginning of Understanding Willow:

In the same episode it’s also stated that Amity “let her new friends bully [Willow] for years”, which definitely includes Skara and isn’t just about Boscha.

Skara looks really pleased when Boscha takes Willow’s hair clip at the beginning of WILW, just appears bored and not at all sympathetic when she throws gum at Willow, and grins gleefully when Boscha suggests using the others as target practice later in the episode:

Also, in Once Upon A Swap, Boscha’s entire squad is messing with people all over Bonesborough. Skara is throwing monster balloons at the city when Boscha isn’t even present:

Not only that, but a very large portion of the episode has Skara and the others literally ditch Boscha in favor of an even meaner person (King in Luz’s body).

King states, and I quote, “Hey, impressionable youths! Under my command, you could learn how to do some real damage.” after unleashing a monster on the city. And the entire group cheers him on and decides to follow him.

If Skara was actually so much better than Boscha, why the heck would she run after someone that is worse than her when given the opportunity?

And here comes the thing that a lot of the Skarlow shippers refuse to acknowledge because they for some reason feel the need to have moral superiority over Boschlow shippers: Skara isn’t a nice girl. Skara is a bully. And Skara should be held accountable for her actions in the same way as Boscha. Saying everything she did was just Boscha forcing her is entirely untrue to canon and just a lame excuse to make your ship look better.

Boscha and Skara have both bullied Willow for several years. If you want to ship either of them with her, even if you just want one of them to be friends with her, that needs to be acknowledged and definitely not excused. Even if you treat Skara’s bullying of Willow as something she did only due to Boscha (which, again, is canonically complete nonsense), she’s still hurt Willow to pretty much the same extent as Boscha has.

That a person isn’t as into the bullying as someone else doesn’t make it hurt any less for the victim of the bullying.

No matter if you ship Skarlow or Boschlow, commit to the reality that Skara and Boscha are both Willow’s bullies. Quit pretending Skara is so much better than Boscha, or that she isn’t responsible for her actions.

She is just as responsible for bullying Willow for years as Boscha is.

I’m so sick of hearing how Skara’s bullying is far more redeemable than Boscha’s. It’s not. Stop declaring bullying that doesn’t get physical harmless. As someone who was “only” ever verbally bullied, let me tell you that after four years of not seeing that person I’m still scarred by it. Stop getting your head so stuck in high school movies. Just because not every kind of bullying involves someone getting shoved into a locker doesn’t mean it’s not harmful.

Even worse: the take that people are shipping Skarlow “because they realized shipping Willow with Boscha is inherently toxic”. Tell me again why this “revolutionary” movement deciding that Willow deserves better then turns around and ships her with another one of her bullies?

This isn’t about treating Willow better. You’re just making Boscha seem unreasonably evil for no reason, and treating Skara as her not at all responsible victim, so you can ship Willow with her and don’t have to acknowledge that Willow is a victim of both of their bullying.

This needs to stop. Skara needs to be held just as accountable as Boscha.

If a Skarlow shipper exclusively comes from a perspective of “I think their personalities would mix better”? Sure, whatever, they may or may not, but that’s a valid opinion to have. But don’t start shipping Skarlow because you think you’re being better to Willow than the Boschlow shippers.

This whole thing isn’t a movement to get Willow a better girlfriend, lol

Both of them bullied her. Both ships are bully/victim dynamics. Skarlow does not actually have any moral superiority over Boschlow. As much as you refuse to acknowledge this, these two ships share the same basic dynamic.

Stop pretending shipping Willow with one of her bullies is leagues better than shipping her with another.

274 notes · View notes

fremulon · 2 years

Text

okay yeah so I released chapter 9 weeks ago and therefore this is late and also I haven’t been keeping up with them but I DO want to do a behind-the-scenes post for this chapter in particular so here we go, spoilers for such rebel blood chapter 9 behind the cut

I told my beta @runningturnipgo that this was the Wham Chapter, because there’s significant new developments that change the course of the story in both the mystery and romance subplots here. I’ll talk about the mystery first (though of course it ties in together):

Aziraphale being attacked at the end of chapter 8 is the reason I said so clearly upfront that I wouldn’t be doing individual chapter violence warnings - I really wanted that to hit the reader without external foreknowledge. It also means we learn that Gabriel can’t be the murderer. I’m guessing most people aren’t super surprised to learn that--part of the problem with using GO characters is that there are only so many people who can actually be the “bad guy” and Gabriel is a very obvious choice for red herring.

But the real watershed moment in this chapter in terms of the mystery is the end, with Aziraphale’s realization that Greasy Johnson could have been legitimate and therefore entitled to inherit Tadfield Manor and its estate. That’s yet another meaning of “rebel blood,” by the way: “blood” here as denoting family and in denoting Gerald Dowling’s decision to go against his. I wanted to make the solution to the mystery something that tied up with Aziraphale’s own issues, and then, also, of course, babies being who they oughtn’t to be is a major plot point in my source material.

For the relationship development in this chapter--well, first of all, the fight scene at the barn is a reference obviously in part to the Good Omens wall-slam scene, but it’s also a reference to a scene in Gaudy Night where Peter demonstrates to Harriet how to avoid being strangled. In that scene Harriet actually thinks to herself that if she were writing it in a book she’d put in some corny sexual tension (and she is rubbing her throat where Peter touched it for, uh, unrelated reasons, totally). So I went ahead and did it.

I went back and forth a bunch on whether or not to let them actually kiss here, or just come very very close to it, but, particularly after the chapter 7 razor scene which was not at all intended to be horny and then super was, I thought an actual kiss was in fact necessary to mark a new shift in the dynamic.

As I was writing I came across the idea of Aziraphale saying he’d just kissed Crowley to win the fight--in that Aziraphale said it without me really meaning for him to and then I had to go back and rethink it. Because it felt in character to me for Aziraphale to do that--but not in character for this particular Aziraphale in these particular circumstances. Canon Aziraphale? Absolutely. So I was going to get rid of it (regretfully because I quite liked the “play dirty” line) but then I realized I could have Aziraphale say that was why he did it even though it really wasn’t. If that makes sense.

That scene is also yet another illustration of something that’s been a theme with this story, which is Crowley feeling resentful of the inequity of their current power balance. My thing with these two is that they are fundamentally equals - that’s the whole thing of it, right - and in this story that’s been thrown off by the fact that this Aziraphale is richer and more experienced at investigation and Crowley owes him his life. And so part of what they’re doing here is getting closer to a place where they’re on that same equal playing field that they are in canon. (Hence why they trade off who has the upper hand a few times.)

Anyway I hope this was interesting! I just find story structure and development inherently really fascinating and I could blather on about it for ages tbh.

#such rebel blood facts #such rebel blood #good omens /

11 notes · View notes

fontofmercy-archived2 · 5 years

Text

Do people really not see the appeal of enemies-to-lovers? I keep seeing these ridiculous posts about how Problematic it is that people are shipping people who *gasp* have fought in canon *clutches pearls*. It’s totally fine to not enjoy the trope, but to pretend like it’s some ridiculous new idea that “silly 14 y/o fangirls” have made up and it has no appeal outside of a “bad boy kink” (which is very patronizing and sudetly misogynistic phrase) is extremely disingenuous. ‪Enemies-to-lovers is one of the oldest and most enduring fictional stories of all time, and for good reason. Because many, many people enjoy it for many, many different reasons. I’m going to focus on het enemies-to-lovers and the female gaze because that’s where I see the most controversy happening. Although there certainly is a lot to be said about slash/femslash enemies-to-lovers, especially how it can be used to explore internalized homophobia and the gay experience, and I may make a follow-up post about that.

What baffles me the most is people that accuse enemies-to-lovers of being inherently abusive or abusive when there’s any actual conflict (like, you know, stories have) beyond something boring that no one would write like they stepped on each other’s toes in a movie theater. This extreme purity police attitude shows a lack of any understanding about storytelling and what like...fiction is. But diving even deeper into this claim, enemies-to-lovers is in dynamically the exact opposite of an abusive relationship, and that in of itself is a large part of its appeal for a lot of people. No intimate abuser will announce themselves as your sworn enemy, they will present themselves as everything you have ever wanted and the most perfect partner you could imagine. Instalove, the exact opposite of enemies-to-lovers, is actually the trope that resembles love bombing aka how most abusive relationships start. One of the reasons enemies-to-lovers can be so appealing, especially to women and people who have been in toxic relationships, is because when the enemy becomes your lover - you know they mean it. You know how they behave with their enemies, you know the darkest part of them and you don’t need to worry about what is lurking beneath the surface because you’ve already seen it and battled it and gotten past it.

As far as being misogynistic, enemies-to-lovers is literally a power fantasy for the female gaze. It’s the idea of someone who once opposed you being so enamored by you in your most unfiltered, non-seductive form that they listen to you, see things from your perspective, and ultimately align their strength with yours. Women are told that we need to make ourselves small and inoffensive and perfect to attract men or anyone or anything positive, so of course the idea that someone could become deeply enamored, almost against their will, with you when you are actively fighting them, arguing with them, challenging them etc. that those qualities, that being opinionated and angry and passionate and strong, could be the very thing that attracts them to you is a subversion of that idea. And enemies are equals, for a woman to be considered a worthy adversary to a man (and not by becoming a man to him or a sexual “temptress”) means the woman is being respected as his equal. This is a dynamic entirely based on equality, it relies on both characters being of equal strength, much more so than most romance tropes.

This is not exclusive to the female gaze though, in general it’s a fantasy that many can appreciate. Everyone has insecurities and bad moods, and intimacy is difficult for everyone (to varying degrees). In an enemies-to-lovers ship, the lovers have already seen each other in their most unromantic state. They have seen each other screaming with the rage of battle, have seen each other’s scorn and sneer, have seen each other so intimately that once they enter “lovers” and even “to”, there is nothing new to discover except the good parts. Imagine if you could get into a relationship where you don’t have to worry about what your partner’s hiding or if they will reject you because you always know the worst of each other, have already accepted it, and now get to fall in love discovering only the good parts. It creates a very intimate and intense dynamic.

On the other hand, there’s the appeal from the perceptive of the antagonist. Some people prefer to identify their trauma or pain or insecurities with antagonists rather than protagonists because they don’t see that part of themselves as the hero and/or they don’t want to have to hold that part of themselves up to some pristine standard. Some people want to see the dark part of themselves go full dark and then be loved anyways. The idea that you can always change for the better, that you are always worthy of love no matter how damaged you think you are. The idea that someone bright and good could see the most angry, hurt, ugly part of you and still love you. That is a very hopeful and positive message to a lot of people. I will never understand these types of people’s hateful opposition to redemption and healing, because I truly think that’s one of the most beautiful and powerful messages a story can have when it’s done right. The obsession some people have with punishment and condemnation simply is not healthy or productive.

Also, if people could stop infantalizing women as if we can’t differentiate reality from fiction with our silly girl brains, and also stop demonizing girls/women for exploring their sexuality in fiction by calling every goddamn thing “fetishization” - basically just stop being misogynistic af, yeah that’d be great thanks.

#enemies to lovers #reylo #pro reylo #anti reylo bs #pro shipping #anti antis #anti purity culture #dramione #drarry #snarry #snamione #lumione #why cant i think of ships oh well

4K notes · View notes

scrawnytreedemon · 3 years

Note

Zelink for the ship bingo? :0 any game!

OH GOD, THIS IS?? Gonna be a doozy. Buckle in.

SkSw:

WW-PH: Link/Tetra:

Spirit Tracks(in theory! I haven't seen the game yet, can't speak personally):

Nearly all other instances:

RIGHT! getting onto individual analysis,

1, SkSw: By far my favourite of the bunch, and a longtime delight. Whether you construe their relationship as romantic or not, doesn't matter-- They've got such a wonderful arc of trust and unbreakable love. Zelda starts off incredibly worried for Link, constantly fretting and deeply unsure of his abilities. She steps in to defend him, willing to go up against Big Boys like Groose to do so. As the game progresses, however, and Link grows, in strength and in character, Zelda, and everyone else for the matter, put more trust in him-- By the end of the game, they're on equal footing, and, oh god, oh man, I'm gonna crybhfgjfhdgkjdjd--

2, WW-PH: Nothing to say except, tough girl, sweet boy? Phuck yeah!

Jokes aside, Link and Tetra's arc is also one of trust and vulnerability, but from a different angle. Tetra's a hard-as-nails, independent, morally dubious young girl who's landed herself as captain of a ship full of Big Boys, and sees Link as little more than a useful, if rather weak coincidence she can use to her advantage. However, as the pair grow,(really as Link grows and Tetra is thrown out onto the sidelines as her royal heritage is revealed and she's forced to take on a 'princess' role, one that notably feminises her and lightens her skin), again there's that theme of growth of trust! They take down Ganondorf together, build a new Hyrule together, and isn't that just what dreams are made of?

3, Spirit Tracks: Nothing much to say, other than the dynamic looks super sweet, and there's an interesting play with gender and presentation on Zelda's end? Love it to bits, 12/10.

Now... Onto the potatoes of this, I think. Get your gravy.

This... There's going to be more objective analysis and criticism, obviously, but alot of this is also going to be deeply coloured by my own personal experiences of heteronormativity and alienation. This isn't a commentary on anyone else's enjoyment of the dynamic-- I hope I've made that clear --But, just... I guess I should get to it.

Link and Zelda,

Zelink.

As one anon put it, the vanilla icecream of shipping.

Mild, sweet,

And incredibly heteronormative.

The Golden Relationship; the one toted by fans and Nintendo alike as "the ship".

Everything else, anyone else, is a deviation. It slots neatly into the expected hero-damsel dynamic that we've had, since, well, the beginning of time, almost. It's almost as dust of the earth as it gets. The issue for me being... They don't spend time much, really. Link is barely characterised half the time as little more than a slightly lackadaisical vessel for the player, and Zelda is a sort of guiding light; a dignified keeper of the plot, Righteous Guardian of Hyrule--

The culmination of all Hyrule presents itself as: wise, smart, beautiful, dainty but compitent, ready to lead a charge should need be... but rarely unruly. Rarely ever. Always right.

Obviously, it goes without saying how Breath of the Wild's iteration of this duo changes it up immensely. Zelda is a far more flawed, and in her attempt to put on a strong face, a far more emotionally vulnerable character than any of her gentle predecessors could ever hope to be. While this pairing and her character fail to hit that particular sweet spot in me, it's deeply intriguing, and I hope, perhaps vainly, that they'll develop her and her relationship with Link even more in the sequel-- Honestly, when it comes to this? An equality between her and Link is, I think, what would be best. A mutual understanding; vulnerability.

I think that's what puts me off from Zelink, on the whole. Link is bound to her, by destiny, by guidance, ever-performing his knightly duties, and Zelda is bound to him for strength, for protection. There's little emotional substance, half the time, save for small, precious moments, many with another face, because it's a dynamic inherently dependent on the war-- On danger.

It's all impartial, situational. There's nothing personal here.

And if that were it, if this were truly explored from that angle(as it is, to an extent, in BotW), then I think I'd like that-- Especially if it weren't romantic, I feel.

But that's not the vibe we're told to get: not from the fans... not from Nintendo.

Nintendo tends to be largely neutral on certain matters, such as pairings-- Honest to god, for the best, in my opinion-- But Zelink is that one blind spot where that ethos falls away. Here, Nintendo expects us to see it as some grand, destiny-bound romance, I feel,

And the pre-Skyward Sword manga, from what I know, cements this best.

It's why, quite frankly, I don't care for the idea of it being canon. Genuinely.

It undermines what little weight Ganondorf via Demise had on all of this, this horrific cycle of blood, pain and despair, always bracing for the next wave, of the sisyphian climb of this civilisation, and turns it all into a grand goddess' love for a boy bound to her by fate and destiny manifest.

I hate that.

For something like this, something where no one has any choice, where greatness is thrusted upon them, this endless state of being used that Skyward Sword even condemned, to be seen as good.

To get onto personal experience, before this blog, and this "persona," as it were, I used to have an art account where I largely posted TLoZ, frequented by my family. My very Christian, somewhat socially-conservative family. I would perform straightness, in the form of either pushing aside or pursuing M/F romance, because I was extremely uneasy about the types of conversations anything otherwise would arouse.

This was at a time where I wasn't even sure if I was bisexual, let alone divergent in my gender, so I felt a constant pressure to tamp it down and keep it out of the spotlight, relegating my explorations via art to DMs with the friends I'd make.

Here, on Tumblr, where peppy-queerness is the status quo, there's this tendency to gloss over unpleasant things and make them soft; sweet.

I think I've talked enough at length why that alienates me.

So, yeah... I guess, Zelink on a wider scale kinda just, sums up my unease about the often hegemonic status-quo of shipping, and on the whole I'm just kinda eh about it all.

Again, I think it should be very clear that this is not a reflection on my opinions of people who create Zelink content, who are attached to these characters. That sort of weirdly-tribalistic thinking is awful, and only brings about needless conflict-- Early 2000s-2010s kinda shit, y'feel me?

I hope this all made sense, kinda. I've just got... alot of feelings.

25 notes · View notes

heavensenthearty · 4 years

Note

I don't understand how we Zutara shippers stay in our part of the fandom, do our own thing and keep having our fun after 10+ years, and then other people COME TO US with bullshit arguments, like if something is clearly tagged Zutara and you (general you) don't like it, why comment on it? But when we answer it's "wow you Zutara shippers are always so rude".

It feels like that time my grandmother came to visit uninvited and kept complaining my room was a mess. SHE decided to come, but I'M horrible because my own room, in which only I have to sleep, has some clothes out of place :/

On that last part: 😂😂 So relatable!

But, back to the subject at hand, I've come to the conclusion that the world is just filled with really bad people, and unfortunately I'm pretty sure this show raised a fair share of them.

Hear me out, okay?

We, Zutara shippers, write metas and metas on all the things the show did wrong. Not only about the romantic pairings, but about the characterization, the writing, the world-building. These flaws are there — they were always there — and we can see them now because we gained analytical thinking with the years, but not everybody goes through such development while growing up, and the most dangerous thing about these flaws that we talk about time and again is that they were always presented to be considered "cute and funny". Children aren't going to see a toxic relationship in a kiss scene with pretty music playing in the background, and not even adults are going to give much thought to the "pacifist" character with giant puppy eyes.

And now that I mention it, I'm just gonna say this, okay? Aang is actually the most disposable character on the story. Just make someone else the Avatar and things wouldn't change at all, because Aang — as a person, his personal character — never made any impact on the Avatar World. Katara's fight for equality was what ended the patriarchal system in the Northern Water Tribe, Sokka's geniality was what came up with every single war strategy in the show and invented submarines, Toph's rebellious nature was one of the things that helped her to invent a whole new sub-type of earthbending, Zuko unlearned a hundred years of political propaganda... Spirits, even if Suki wasn't so much of a dynamic person Kyoshi Island would still be inactive in the war!

What was Aang's great contribution again? Ending the feud between two villages by lying and just because they were annoying him?

Keeping alive the precepts of Air Nomad culture that he ignored at will whenever it was convenient for him?

But, since he's "a nice guy", that's enough for him to deserve all the love, right?

It is for protagonists like that that you get viewers like this:

Whoa! So much for a heartfelt apology, huh?

But I understand them; I mean, their fave never had to face any consequences for being a bad friend, a hypocrite, condescending jerk; and a spoiled brat. Why wouldn't the same rules apply to them?

And let's look at how his consequence-free existence contributed to the negative messages on the show:

It's because Katara was never allowed to be rightfully angry at Aang for his aggressive romantic advances that is so easy for others to brush them off.

It's because of Aang's verbally claimed "pacifist nature", even though it was never put into practice, that people doesn't see the wrong in his forgiveness preaching.

It's because he apparently made the right call at lying in The Great Divide that he comes out as "wise beyond his years".

It's a long list, and I don't want this to be TL;DR.

But let's cut Aang some slack, tho, not everything is his fault and he's not necessarily a bad character, he's just not... a worthy role model.

I always try to reinforce the voices of the East Asian fans that have written their own metas on how ATLA's worldbuilding is inherently racist for the obvious stereotypes and the generalization of Asian culture. In fact, what would you say if I told you that "Ong" is more of a culturally accurate pronunciation for Aang's name than "Ang"? But because people grew with the Western interpretation of it, they label anyone who tries to correct them as "the lame movie fans".

I have seen people arguing with Tibetans when the latters told them adult Aang didn't have Tibetan features and his appearance was resembling of Mike Di Martino. They answered that Aang had his head shaved, so that was enough to make him a monk.

🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

And it's not only East Asian culture the one that's being affected, it's Inuit culture, it's the punishing the show does to Katara for not returning Aang's feelings, it's directly calling her a "sl*t" for boys catching interest on her. In general, forming part of this fandom being Asian, or brown, or just a woman can be resumed by Lin Beifong's quote:

"You never know why I'm angry, and when I tell you, you don't care."

The anti-Zutara discourse never ends to come out as pathetic, petty, and idiotic because we know these people don't care about the minorities they're supposedly defending. If they did, they would actually listen to the indigenous, black, Latines, and Asian fans in this part of the fandom, who are women in their most part, because the largest portion of this fandom are WOC!

But what do they say when we try to explain them? "Keep that to yourself. I don't care."

😒

In conclusion, this show was just created by aggressively North American men with clear incel beliefs, who thought themselves unfathomably knowledgeable in foreign cultures and women in general more than real women and real Asians, and now their little spawns are on the loose putting their teachings into practice.

No wonders we still have to fight so hard against racism and equal rights for women.

#zutara #atla #anti kataang #anti atla #anti aang #aang salt

282 notes · View notes

i-did · 3 years

Note

Ok ok this may be a dumb question but we'll see, what are your thoughts on bdsm + andreil? The vast vast majority of these types of fics have Andrew as the dom (and I get why) BUT theres 1 dom Neil fic and I'm like 99% sure I think I saw u comment on it so I'm assuming ur reading it and enjoying it too. And tbh, I find it much better than pretty much all the dom Andrew stuff, I hadnt realised the potential dom Neil could have until I read it. But anyway, I wanted ur thoughts? 🤲 (this is so badly phrased I apologise)

Lmfaooo being perceived is so weird. I hope I didn't say anything because I remember commenting on that fic and thinking about commenting something about my personal sex life, but I don't remember if I did lmfaooo. Omg okay, all that aside–time to now respond to this seriously.

Okay regarding that specific fic, yeah I read a lot of AFTG fics of all types, I haven't read something NSFW in a while, but when I saw the ‘Dom!Neil’ tag I decided to give it a shot. It’s interesting seeing how other authors go about their ideas and just enjoying their story. It doesn’t align with my personal ideas of everything obviously, but those are my personal HC and that fic is that authors personal HC. I like that they’re exploring something that this fandom doesn’t see explored a lot and is just a fun read, lol. Honestly I give up on most BDSM fandom fics because the depiction of Neil makes me uncomfortable ...almost always. I agree a lot more with this fics concept of how they would explore power vs control in a BDSM sexual sense, than most Dom!Andrew Sub!Neil fics– which I have long ago stopped trying to read.

Okay here are my personal ideas about Andrew and Neil, and how they would explore sex.

Many NSFW HC below the cut:

I personally don’t think canon Andrew and Neil would go into BDSM culture or ascribe to either roll strictly. I feel they wouldn’t like established dynamics like that and would get turned off by that aspect, especially since Andrew both craves control of situations but fears ‘being like them’ and a lot of Dom play is about power dynamics that he wouldn't be comfortable with. Andrew sees power in sex as different as control during sex. He needs a controlled environment, and be in control of the other by having them listen to his boundaries, but he can’t feel he’s overpowering the other person. I don’t think he could do a lot of strictly Sub things either for similar reasons, he would feel like he's giving up control of the situation in a way that could make him very uncomfortable.

Neil on the other hand is also often portrayed as a very textbook sub, but I don't think he is. I see him written as a brat a lot, but personally I don’t see him doing that since a lot of what playing with a brat is, is giving them what they want and denying them what they want and them ‘defying you’ and stuff. It's like a form of playful miscommunication I don't see Andrew or Neil ever actually doing. Obviously all healthy and proper play is outlined and discussed beforehand, but I see Andrew and Neil as needing the actions themselves to be clear and cut and dry.

Neil also gets off on Andrews pleasure, Andrew is the same about Neil, they're almost like a feedback loop of “the other enjoying themselves is inherently hot.” to me, Neil getting off on other people (Andrew) getting off is a very Dom like quality. In turn, Andrew is very turned on by pleasuring Neil, but from the point of his knees, which is almost sub like, he is turned on by sucking someone else off and seeing how into it they are. Either way, I think they both wouldn’t be into hardcore BDSM or BDSM culture but also aren’t vanilla. I don’t see either of them going to leather clubs instead of Edens and going to Folsom Fair and joining BDSM social groups and stuff.

I also don’t think either would ever use titles for the other, I think they don’t call each other by their names often on a day-to-day basis, since usually the people were talking to already know their name, and we don’t need to use it for clarification. I do think–just like in canon with emotionally charged moments–names will be used with more emphasis, especially Abram which is not used frequently.

Side note about my Jewish Neil HC: Judaism rocks because sex isn’t shamed, but rather considered a blessing and a holy act. In fact, it’s a good thing to have sex on Shabbat, G-d is actively like ‘fuck yeah you little humans, enjoy life’s pleasures and each other's company’ sex was designed to feel good and a way to connect. Shabbat is all about human connection with those important to us, and a day of rest away from work, so sex on Shabbat is actually actively a good thing. I don’t think Neil is ever religiously Jewish, but Andrew making a joke about this once would be peak to me. Which also fits Abram, a very Jewish name I HC to be not just Neil’s middle name but his Jewish name, and is used in said holy context of sex.

I think like a lot of healthy adults who are sexually active, they will explore and will be more adventurous to try new and other things, especially when dealing with issues like waning to get off but having touch aversion and issues like that. I have a lot of sex life HC about them actually, ways they navigate erectile dysfunction, mental health, and what they like in a safe environment. They trust each other, and I like imagining different ways aspects of their relationship would change or evolve in my head in all different types of ways, including sexual. I also enjoy giving them kinks and inclinations I specifically don’t have, because it’s like me exploring the concept of why someone else might like something even though I personally don’t. I’m not imagining things that make me uncomfortable necessarily, just things I'm neutral on or don’t see the appeal of, but know why they appeal to others and try to imagine what these characters might think.

I feel canon Andrew and Neil explore sex and dynamics that make them comfortable, I have HC about Andrew possibly exploring pup play and wearing a collar for Neil partially as a “joke” in the beginning, but discovering they really like it. I also HC Neil is really into athletic stuff sexually, he thinks Andrew half dressed with his padding still on and a jock strap is just peak sex appeal. I also think Neil is very sensory, and makes associations with smells and senses easily, so he develops a sweat kink, which leads into his armpit kink. Neil isn't turned on by ‘the bad smell of sweat’ but rather the fact that when Andrew is sweaty he smells like Andrew a lot, rather than after a shower he smells more like soap, and he can’t smell Andrew as much. Andrew on the other hand prefers cleaner sex. He’s not triggered by dirty sex though– he used to suck guys off at an alt dance club and is used to the smell of sweaty balls, it's just not an active turn on. Neil has ‘nothing is hotter than Andrew wearing running shoes and socks, and only running shoes and socks’ energy to me too. I think Andrew feels good about himself in leather, but isn't going to be a leather daddy and wear the leather assless chaps and the cap, he will wear the leather harness that every gay wears to pride, but he wears it just for Neil. Also, Neil loves Andrews pecs, Neil’s kinda a boob guy, but for Andrew’s pecs specifically.

I personally think Andrew and Neil typically don’t have penetrative sex. They do it sometimes–and when Andrew is ready he will bottom more as a way to prove something to himself than anything–but it’s not their preferred way or their ‘go to’. When they finally do, they don’t see it as ‘finally having sex for the first time’, since all the sex they've been having is real sex, even if its oral, hand jobs, etc. I don’t think Neil is naturally inclined to bottoming, and since even the visual of topping can make Andrew uncomfortable, they enjoy sex in any other ways, thigh fucking, docking, Andrew fucking Neil’s ass cheeks, sucking each other off, mutual masturbation, frottage, etc. and it leads to stronger orgasms when they don’t have to hope ever second will be a cliff edge and turn into a panic attack. Safer waters are simply more comfortable for them to swim in, and they deem all sex as equal in ‘value.’ that being said, Andrew likes his ass being ate, as long as its just Neil’s tongue, while Neil is neutral on his ass being ate, but loves doing it to Andrew.

I also think they would explore toys, but not in the way they're often explored in fics, which is very vibrator and dildo centric. I think they would use jacking off toys, the disposable egg kind or some more long term ones, maybe even something they could use at the same time. I don’t see them ever actually using handcuffs or restraints really either. Andrew would see Neil tied up as an equivalent statement of ‘I don't trust you not to touch me’ when he wants to actively progress past that, and shows he trusts Neil by not holding his arms back or letting him touch him. Andrew had to hold down previous partners, but Neil is different, Neil listens. This isn’t my personal opinion about restraint, but it is what I think Andrew would think.

I have no idea if this is what you meant by ‘my thoughts’ but here they are. *puts something in your open palms,* idk what emoji that would be

#ask #aftg #aftg headcanons #nsft #OSHA violation #mailob

54 notes · View notes

killianmesmalls · 3 years

Note

On your comments about Jack: ye-es, in the sense that Jack is a character who definitely deserved better than he was treated by the characters. The way Dean especially treats him reflects very badly on Dean, no question. But, speaking as a viewer, I think the perspective needs to shift a little bit.

To me, Jack is Dawn from Buffy, or Scrappy Doo. He’s an (in my opinion) irritating kid who is introduced out of nowhere to be both super vulnerable and super OP, and the jeopardy is centered around him in a way that has nothing to do with his actual character or relationships. He’s mostly around to be cute and to solve or create problems — he never has any firm character arcs or goals of his own, nor any deeper purpose in the meta narrative. In this way, he’s a miss for SPN, which focuses heavily on conflicts as metaphors for real life.

Mary fits so much better in that framework, and introducing her as a developed, flawed person works really well with the narrative. It is easy for us to care about Mary, both as the dead perfect mother on the pedestal and as the flawed, human woman who could not live up to her sons’ expectations. That connection is built into the core of SPN, and was developed over years, even before she was a character. When she was added, she was given depth and nuance organically, and treated as a flawed, complex character rather than as a plot device or a contrivance. She was given a voice and independence, and became a powerful metaphor for developing new understandings of our parents in adulthood, as well as an interesting and well-rounded character. You care that she’s dead, not just because Sam and Dean are sad, but for the loss of her development and the potential she offered. So, in that sense, I think a lot of people were frustrated that she died essentially fridged for a second time, and especially in service of the arc of a weaker character.

And like, you’re right, no one can figure out if Jack is a toddler or a teenager. He’s both and he’s neither, because he’s never anything consistently and his character arc is always “whatever the plot needs it to be.” Every episode is different. Is he Dean’s sunny opportunity to be a parent and make up for his dad’s shitty parenting? Yes! Is he also Dean’s worst failure and a reminder that he has done many horrible things, including to “innocent” children? Yes! Is he Cas’s child? Yes! Is he Dean’s child? Yes! But also, no! Is he Sam’s child? Yes! Is he a lonely teenager who does terrible things? Yes! Is he a totally innocent little lamb who doesn’t get why what he is doing is wrong? Yes! Is he the most powerful being in the universe? Yes! Does he need everyone to take care of him? Yes! Is he just along for the ride? Yes! Is he responsible for his actions? Kinda??? Sometimes??? What is he???

Mary as a character is narratively cohesive and fleshed-out. Jack is a mishmash of confusing whatever’s that all add up to a frustrating plot device with no consistent traits to latch on to. Everything that fans like about him (cute outfits, gender play, well-developed parental bonds with the characters) is fanon. So, yes, the narrative prioritizes Mary. Many fans prioritize Mary, at least enough that Dean’s most heinous acts barely register. To the narrative (not to Cas, which is a totally different situation), Jack is only barely more of a character than Emma Winchester, who Sam killed without uproar seasons earlier. He’s been around longer, but he’s equally not really real.

I debated on responding to this because, to tell the truth, I think we fundamentally disagree on a number of subjects and, as they say, true insanity is arguing with anyone on the internet. However, you spent a lot of time on the above and I feel it's only fair to say my thoughts, even if I don't believe it will sway you any more than what you said changed my opinions.

I'm assuming this was in response to this post regarding how Jack's accidental killing of Mary was treated so severely by the brothers, particularly Dean, because it was Mary and, had it been a random character like the security guard in 13x06, it would have been treated far differently. However, then the argument becomes less about the reaction of the Winchester brothers to this incident and more the value of Jack or Mary to the audience.

I believe we need to first admit that both characters are inherently archetypes—Mary as the Madonna character initially then, later, as a metaphor for how imperfect and truly human our parents are compared to the idol we have as children, and Jack as the overpowered child who is a Jesus allegory by the end. Both have a function within the story to serve the Winchester brothers, through whose lens and with whose biases we are meant to view the show's events. We also need to admit that the writers didn't think more than a season ahead for either character, especially since it wasn't initially supposed to be Mary that came back at the end of season 11 but John, and they only wrote enough for Jack in season 13 to gauge whether or not the audience would want him to continue on or if he needed to be killed off by the end of the season. Now, I know we curate our own experiences online which leads to us being in our own fandom echo chambers, however it is important to note that the character was immediately successful enough with the general audience that, after his first episode or two, he was basically guaranteed a longer future on the show.

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure why the perspective of how his character is processed by some audience members versus others has any bearing on the argument that he deserved to be treated better overall by the other characters especially when taking their own previous actions in mind. I’m not going to tell you that your opinion is wrong regarding your feelings for Jack. It’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, it harms no one to have it and express it. My feelings on Jack are clearly very different from your own, but this is really just two different people who processed a fictional person in different ways. I personally believe he has a purpose in the Winchesters’ story, including Castiel’s, as he reflects certain aspects of all of them, gives them a way to explore their own histories through a different perspective, and changes the overall dynamic of Team Free Will from “soldiers in arms” to a family (Misha’s words). In the beginning he allows Sam to work through his past as the “freak” and powerful, dangerous boy wonder destined to bring hell on earth. With Dean, his presence lets Dean work through his issues with John and asks whether he will let history repeat itself or if he’ll work to break the cycle. Regarding Cas, in my opinion he helps the angel reach his “final form” of a father, member of a family, lover and protector of humanity, rebellious son, and the true show of free will.

From strictly the story, he has several arcs that work within themes explored in Supernatural, such as the argument of nature versus nurture, the question of what we’re willing to give up in order to protect something or someone else and how ends justify the means, and the struggle between feeling helpless and powerless versus the corruptive nature of having too much power and the dangerous lack of a moral compass. His goals are mentioned and on display throughout his stint on the show, ones that are truly relatable to some viewers: the strong desire to belong—the need for family and what you’ll do to find and keep it.

With Mary, we first need to establish whether the two versions of her were a writing flaw due to the constant change in who was dictating her story and her relationship to the boys, which goes against the idea that her characterization was cohesive and fleshed-out but, rather, put together when needed for convenience, or if they both exist because, as stated above, we are seeing the show primarily through the biased lens of the Winchester brothers and come to face facts about the true Mary as they do. Like I said in my previous post, I don’t dislike Mary and I don’t blame her for her death (either one). However, I do have a hard time seeing her as a more nuanced, fleshed-out character than Jack. True, a lot of her problems are more adult in nature considering she has to struggle with losing her sons’ formative years and meeting them as whole adults she knows almost nothing about, all because of a choice she made before they were born.

However, her personal struggles being more “mature” in nature (as they center primarily on parental battles) doesn’t necessarily mean her story has layers and Jack’s does not. They are entirely different but sometimes interconnected in a way that adds to both of their arcs, like Mary taking Jack on as an adoptive son which gives her the moments of parenting she lost with Sam and Dean, and Jack having Mary as a parental figure who understands and supports him gives him that sense of belonging he had just been struggling with to the point of running away while he is also given the chance to show “even monsters can do good”.

I’d also argue that Jack being many ages at once isn’t poor writing so much as a metaphor for how, even if you’re forced to grow up fast, that doesn’t mean you’re a fully equipped adult. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe Jack simultaneously taking a lot of responsibility and constantly trying to prove to others he’s useful while having childish moments is relatable to some who were forced to play an adult role at a young age. He proves a number of times that he doesn’t need everyone to take care of him, but he also has limited life experience and, as such, will make some mistakes while he’s also being a valuable member of the group. Jack constantly exists on a fine line in multiple respects. Some may see that as a writing flaw but it is who the character was conceived to be: the balance between nature or nurture, between good and evil, between savior and devil.

Now, I was also frustrated Mary was “fridged” for a second time. It really provided no other purpose than to give the brothers more man pain to further the plot along. However, this can exist while also acknowledging that the way it happened and the subsequent fallout for Jack was also unnecessary and a sign of blatant hypocrisy from Dean, primarily, and Sam.

And, yes, Jack can be different things at once because, I mean, can’t we all? If Mary can be both the perfect mother and the flawed, independent, distant parent, can’t Jack be the sweet kid who helps his father-figures process their own feelings on fatherhood while also being a lost young-adult forcing them to face their failures? Both characters contain multitudes because, I mean, we all do.

I can provide articles or posts on Jack’s characterization and popularity along with Mary’s if needed, but for now I think this is a long enough ramble on my thoughts and feelings. I’m happy to discuss more, my messenger is always open for (polite) discussion. Until then, I’m going to leave it at we maybe agree to disagree.

#long post #long ask #so long answer #guys it's 1 am #i hope this made sense #watch me read this after sleep and register things i wish i said #oh well #jack kline #mary winchester #spn #supernatural #spn critical #supernatural critical #kinda?#eh just in case #spn meta #supernatural meta #jack meta

27 notes · View notes