#but on the surface bobby is the more ‘vulnerable’ one and that’s an interesting thing that

[loverboydotcom]

my brain is mush so i cant write prose but do know that i as usual am thinking about best friend dynamics and caretaking dynamics, and the way they integrate in beau and bobby’s relationship arc, and what it means to not just require increasing levels of daily care but to receive it from the person who’s always been your peer, the same guy you grew up with and experienced teenagehood and adolescence with, and now you need him in a vulnerable way you never expected to need from anyone, and how them being best friends shapes that caretaking dynamic in both positive and negative ways, but ultimately in the end it integrates with that friendship and deepens their bond in a way nobody could understand but just them

[lieutenantfloyd]

SFW relationship headcanons ; R.Floyd

requested?: yes

Warnings: brief mention of creepy men, one use of the word wh*re.

Words: 1836

note: I have received many requests for Bob and I could not be happier. The resounding sentiment was, quote: “ Literally anything and everything for Bob”. Ask and you shall receive. 

♫ My Heart Belongs To Only You by Bobby Vinton

a- asking (Who's the first person to confess and how does it happen?)

Bob would hope that you'd confess to him first. He'd drop small hints and try to spend more time with you. If you weren't taking the hint, however, it'd take him a few weeks until he mustered up the courage to ask you out. He'll have the fieriest blush on his cheeks while he stumbles over his words.

B - Butterflies (How they act when they're nervous.)

This lovely guy is always a little nervous. It's part of his charm. When it comes to you he's shaking in his boots. The first time you kissed him you practically had to hold him up so he wouldn't faint.

c- cuddles (What is their favorite cuddling position? Do they like physical touch?)

There are few things in life Bob loves more than physical touch with his S/O. His favorite thing is to come home and at the end of a long day and drag you to the nearest soft surface and just hold you. In moments where he's feeling more vulnerable he'd pull you into bed and have you face him. Neither of you would talk much, instead just enjoying each other's company.

d- domesticity (Are they the type to settle down with you? Are they willing to help with chores? What is your daily routine with them?)

Robert's biggest goal in life is to have the full 1950s nuclear family. A white picket fence, 2/3 kids, housewife, etc. He loves the thought of being the "man of the house" and strives to have the person(s) he loves most in this world see him as a strong, capable, and dependable man.

e- encouragement (Do they encourage you to achieve your goals? If so, how do they support you?)

He's you're #1 cheerleader. He'll support you in absolutely any way he can.

f- favorite thing(s) about you (What are their favorite personality traits/physical features about you?)

He loves your assertiveness and your confidence. Not only does he find those qualities extremely hot, but he deeply admires them as well.

 As for physical features, I picture Bob being attracted to more mid/plus size girls. Something about the more dramatic curves of a bigger body gets him all worked up. Bonus points of you carry your weight in your stomach and/or hips/legs.

g- goofiness (Do they like to make you laugh? How often do they joke around with you?)

Bob is the funniest person you know. Often times unintentionally. He knows he can come across as a little goofy but seeing you smile because of him squashed any insecurities he might have had about that.

h- honesty (Would they lie to you? How much do they share with you?)

One of two things happens if Bob tries to lie. 1: He mumbles short replies under his breath and will completely avoid looking at you. The guilt eats at him and he tells you the truth by the end of the night. 2: he'll produce an absolute word vomit, usually revealing the truth, his ears turn red and he scurries away.

Basically, he's the worst liar in the world.

i- impression (What was their first impression of you? Was it positive or negative?)

It doesn't take much to catch his eye. A cheery disposition, a pretty laugh, a tea length dress, a nice set of curls, or even just holding your own against some rowdy servicemen and he's falling for you. 

He'll absentmindedly watch you from a distance, hoping slightly that you'll notice him too.

j- jealousy (Are they the type of person to get jealous? If so, how do they react to being jealous?)

Robert is not jealous in the typical sense. He deals with more than his fair share of insecurities, and this is only heightened when someone else is obviously interested in you.

Jealously is hard to spot in Bob as his demeanor closely mirrors his attitude when he's tired or done socializing. His hand will drop from your hips and he becomes even more quiet. His jaw will tighten as he absentmindedly plays with the label on his beer. It isn't until you pull him away and start heading home that you notice the look in his eyes. Tears threaten to spill as anger, self doubt, and disappointment swirls just beneath the surface of his baby blues. That night he'll need some extra kisses and reassurance to get back to his normal self.

k- kissing (Where do they like to kiss you? How frequently do they like to kiss?)

Once you're official, Bob will not hesitate to smother you in kisses. He will kiss you anywhere he can. He'll wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you close while bringing your hands to his lips or dipping down to kiss your cheek. (ever the gentleman)

l- love language (What's their love language?)

All of them. Seriously.

Give him your undivided love and attention and he's trying to guess your ring size then and there.

m- marriage (Do they want to marry you eventually? Who proposes to who?)

Expanding on letter D a bit, Robert really craves the intimacy that comes with a lifelong commitment to love. As for a proposal, He (ever the romantic) will start planning his perfect proposal well over a year in advance, only to just blurt the question out at a random moment he feels particularly struck by how much he loves you. If this happens, he'll panic, try to back track, say he wasn't serious, etc.

If your answer is yes, pull him into one of those deep "my husband is home from war" kisses and he will short circuit. He will still require your full verbal confirmation to his proposal before he relaxes and celebrates. The second you say yes, he wraps you I the tightest hug imaginable and buries his face in the crook of your neck. Expect him to mumble something along the lines of "oh my god, this is really happening." He might even let (more than) a few tears slip out.

Overall, 10/10 experience.

n- nicknames (What do they call you? What do you call them?)

For you: Darling, doll, Honey, Angel, dove, sweetheart. For him: Bobby, honeybug, pumpkin, deary, my darling husband...

o- openness (How much do they tell you about themselves? Do they reveal everything at once or gradually throughout the relationship?)

If he's comfortable, he's an open book. You could ask him anything and he'll answer it 100% honestly. By the time you're married, there's almost nothing left to love about him :)

p- PDA (Are they affectionate in public or do they prefer to keep your kisses behind closed doors? Are they the type to brag about their SO?)

He doesn't mind PDA especially after a few drinks, but you'll have to be the aggressor. Dear Bobby loves a woman that will take control. So much as ghost your fingertips over his leg and he's flushed a deep crimson and sweating like a whore in church.

The most he'll do (sober) is rest a hand on your hip or place a light peck to your cheek. If he's truly drunk, all bets are off. He'd strip you bare in the middle of The Hard Deck if you'd let him.

q- quality time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Anything you want to do he'll do for you. If it's his choice, you two will stay in, cook dinner, and slow dance to a vinyl he picked out.

r- romance (Are they the romantic type? If so, how do they express their feelings?)

He's a romantic in every sense of the word. He leaves you handwritten notes every morning, brings you flowers when he comes back from a mission, etc.

s- security (How protective are they of you? If they are, how do they show this?)

People tend to underestimate him. It's not a rare occurrence for people to bully him and/or treat him like he doesn't even exist. It doesn't even phase him anymore. However, if someone disrespects you, his shy and calm demeanor goes out the window.

There was one occasion at the Hard Deck when he overheard some men making lewd comments about you. He set his beer down on the edge of the pool table before excusing himself and proceeding to all but lunge at the men. While he may have lost the fight, he damn sure proved his point.

t- turn-offs (What traits do they find unattractive?)

Rude, catty, judgmental, trying to force him out of his shell.

u- understanding (Are they good at sympathizing with your problems? Do they listen to you when you need to rant?)

Growing up shy, Bob became a great listener. He hears everything and files it away. He's also a natural problem solver. Come to him with any issues and it's fixed in a matter of minutes.

v- value (What do they value most about your relationship?)

Like Rooster, he values safety and security. The fact that you provide an environment where he can not only trust you wholly and entirely but come to you with anything without any fear of judgment is literally life changing for him.

w- wild card (A random headcanon about your relationship)

Bob loves to dance. He's also shockingly good at it. As introverted as he is, he'll come to you one day and practically beg you to take a swing dancing class with him.  It soon becomes a Saturday night tradition for you two.

x- x-ray (How well are they able to read you?)

He struggles a bit at first, but over time he learns to read you like an open book. It's to the point where he can anticipate your needs. Top-tier husband material if you ask me.

y- yearning (How well do they cope when their SO isn't with them?)

To say Bob is clingy is quite the understatement. While he's away on missions he keeps a picture of you on his at all times. He's convinced it brings him good luck. This leads to him keeping your picture with him at ALL times. His confidence grows knowing that even though you might not be there physically, you are always right there with him. He even gets ragged on by his crew mates that bob with vs without you is like night and day. If he's away from you too long he struggles to even get out of bed.

Is the depth of his love for you slightly unhealthy? Probably. But when he said till death do us part, he was 1000% serious.

z- zappy (Are they fast-paced in a relationship? Or do they like to take things slow?)

He's been dreaming of settling down since he was in elementary school. He practically had to talk himself out of trying to convince you to get eloped on your second date. Like Rooster, he'll move as fast as you let him. He knows he can be a bit overzealous with his love at times, so don't be afraid to tell him to cool his jets (no pun intended).

[gamergirl929]

Just The Way You Are (Shayna Baszler x Reader)

Shayna’s insecurities rise to the surface when Lana makes a comment about her appearance backstage, leading to talk between the two of you at the hotel. 

I thought I’d give Vulnerable!Shayna a try, I know it’s uncharted territory because we’ve never seen that side, but we’ll see what you think. 

You were not the type to gloat, about ANYTHING to do with your looks.

It was no secret you gave Mandy Rose a run for her money, something you were always made painfully aware of when you headed down to the ring.

The fans weren’t the only ones there to remind you of your good looks, a certain cage fighter keen on telling you so every single day, the woman’s smile soft as she pressed a kiss to your lips.

“I’m surprised.” You jump, pulled out of your trance by Lana, the blonde giving you a dazzling grin.

You huff.

Since Bobby Lashley had joined MVP and Shelton Benjamin, Lana had been uninterested in him and more interested in you, the woman flirting with you every chance she got

Lucky for her, she had yet to face Shayna’s wrath.

That luck was about to run out.

“I still don’t understand why someone as absolutely stunning as you, is with someone like Shayna Baszler.”

You scoff.

“Yeah, don’t talk about my girlfriend again.” You snarl, the woman giggling as she grabs your forearm.

“I’m just saying.” She shrugs, eyes raking down your front, drinking you in. “It’s just a shame.”

Your nostrils flair, a number of expletives on the tip of your tongue, but before you can say anything Shayna makes her presence.

“Take your hand off her.”

Lana's finger tips caress your arm as they slide off, something that Shayna is quick to notice.

The second Lana turns her back on the two of you, Shayna is on her, Kirifuda Clutch locked in tight.  

You simply shrug, watching as Shayna drops an unconscious Lana to the floor with no remorse, the woman hacking as she grabs her throat.  

“Keep your hands off of her. Go back to your ‘hot’ ‘hot’ husband Bobby Lashley. Oh wait, he dumped your ass. Go back to Nattie and TikTok.” Shayna puts a boot to her throat, eyes narrowed. 

“Stay away from what’s mine.”  

Shayna puts her boot on the side of Lana’s head and gives it a kick.  

You walk up, smirking down at Lana as you take Shayna’s hand.

“If you hadn’t figured it out, I’m not interested.”  

Shayna smirks cockily as you grab her leather jacket covered bicep, the woman grabbing your bag and her own, before she leads you to the exit  

“Let’s get back to the hotel.” She whispers as she kisses your cheek.

“Gladly.”

                                                            ***

Shayna wasn’t the type to talk about what she was feeling.

And if you DID want to know what she was feeling, it was all in the way she carried herself.

That’s how you instantly knew something was wrong.

Shayna was stiff, stiff as in the way she carried herself as a heel on television. She was never that way when it came to you.

You could also see the muscle in her jaw jumping as she clenched her teeth, over and over again in agitation.

You take a deep breath, muting the hotel’s television.  

“Okay, talk to me.”

Shayna turns to you, brows furrowed.  

“About what?” Shayna asks innocently and you sigh.  

“I know what Lana said bothered you.” You frown, the woman’s eyes narrowing.  

“It didn’t.” She mumbles and you huff.  

“Shayna, I know you, it did bother you...”  You whisper, reaching for and taking her hand, the woman’s fingers spreading so yours can slip between them.  

“Just talk to me.” You whisper, Shayna sighing as she glances away.  

“Why are you with me?” She asks, her voice below a whisper, so much so that you have to strain your ears to hear her.  

You spin around, turning to face the former MMA Fighter, who is currently doing everything she can to avoid your gaze.  

“I’m with you because I care about you.” You smile, the woman reluctantly turning towards you.  

“But you’re so...” She motions to you and you frown sadly, cupping the woman’s cheek with one hand, turning her head until your eyes lock.  

“Shayna Baszler, I want you and only you, you’re stunning, and NO ONE could ever compare to you.”  

Shayna scoffs.  

“They don’t compare to me because they all look better than me. Prettier than me.” She shrugs and you frown, a lump forming in your throat.  

Shayna’s eyes widen when your Y/E/C orbs fill with tears, the woman’s brown orbs widening.  

“He-Hey, don’t cry.” She frowns, cupping your cheeks. “What’s wrong?” She asks and you huff.  

“You... You might not look like them, I mean, fake.” You scoff, a tear leaking from your Y/E/C orb. 

“But you’re stunning Shayna, you are, no you don’t look like them, but you don’t need to, you don’t need to look like ANY of them, because I want you just the way you are.”  

Shayna bites her bottom lip, swiping your tears away with the pads of her thumbs.  

“D-Don’t cry over this, over me-

You cut her off with a grunt.  

“Of course, I’m crying over you, because you don’t see what I see.” You whisper, turning your head to kiss the center of her palm.  

Shayna swallows hard as you nuzzle into her palm, the woman’s brown orbs darting around your face.  

“You don’t see how beautiful, how smart, how funny...” You giggle against her palm. “I was going to say how cocky, but you already know that.”  

Shayna cracks the first smile she had since you’d gotten back to the hotel, the woman brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.  

“Yeah, I guess I already knew that.” She grins, her grin widening as you turn to face her, leaning into her touch.  

“Of course, you do.” You tease, sticking your tongue out at her.  

“The point is...” You take a deep breath, closing your eyes. “I want you and ONLY you, I don’t want you to look like ANYONE else, I want you to look like you do right now. I just want you.”  

Shayna’s smile softens, as do her brown orbs, the woman leaning forward to rest her forehead against yours.  

The woman’s brown orbs disappear behind her closed eyelids, the woman playfully brushing her nose against yours.  

“I love you Y/N.” She whispers, your eyes flashing open as they widen.  

Shayna’s eyes flutter open, the usual brash and unstoppable woman’s eyes sparkling with the slightest hint of fear.  

You grin, cupping her cheeks as you close the distance between the two of you, your lips pressing tenderly against hers.  

Shayna smiles into the kiss, the two of you parting so you can look into Shayna’s brown orbs.  

“I love you too.” You whisper, the woman’s lips splitting in a grin as she surges in for another kiss.  

The two of you again part, both grinning as you rest your foreheads together.  

“I hope you aren’t busy tonight...” Shayna smirks and your brows furrow in confusion.  

Shayna grins.  

“No, I’m not.” You cock your head to the side, Shayna smirking.  

“Well, you’re about to be.”  

You roll your eyes as you lay back, Shayna crawling on top of you.  

“Admit it, it was smooth.” She grins, ducking her head to kiss your neck.  

“Oh, it was smooth.” You smirk, rolling the two of you over, your lips splitting in a grin.  

“But I’m smoother.”  

Shanya rolls the two of you over, the woman chuckling.  

“Sure, you are.” She whispers as she leans back in, your lips meeting hers.

It’s then you realize just how busy your night was about to be, even if it hadn’t turned out like you’d planned, one thing was for sure, Shayna Baszler loved you, and you loved her.  

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Okay I have to talk about this scene for a moment because it just makes me want to pull at my hair nonstop:

Firstly, Buck's expressions kill me. Oliver does an amazing job but holy shit, you can see the sadness at being left behind again. Whoever keeps trying to say that Oliver can't act, you're really missing each facet of his performance inside this character. He nails it every single time and this scene, even from the first season, is no different. This isn't Buck who is sad, this is Evan. And the reason I know that besides the expressions is Buck's responses: "I'm excited for you. Almost as much as I am, um, sad for me." "I'm gonna miss you, too." - they're said in a way that's him obviously trying to tell her what he thinks she wants to hear, that he's trying to do what he thinks is the right thing and be happy for her, be supportive, even though it's hurting him to do so. And we saw similar responses in this scene:

"Um, I'm sorry about Daniel. I can't imagine what that must have felt like to not be able to save someone you love." "Well, I still wish I could have done more."

Tbf, he is Buck most of this scene (and even asserts himself as such) but when Phillip says that they never blamed him and it was never his fault, we see Evan slightly but still mostly Buck:

and then when Margaret reaches out to him to tell him that he was born to save someone and that's what he does every day and they're proud of him, Evan comes out fully, not quite sure what to make of this and being slightly vulnerable:

Maddie always gives Buck affectionate touches (like they made sure to show us in 4x04) whether that be hugs, pinky promises, hand on the knee as she crouches down to talk to him (like in 2x18), that kind of thing. We never really saw that from Margaret at all. In the flashback, when Evan was hurt from the bike, she stayed back, also being shocked by seeing the bike was Daniel's. She clapped his leg after delivering him cereal after the skateboard incident. In the two episodes we saw Margaret, she never reached out to touch Buck at all. No hug, no touch on the arm or shoulder, no handshake even. Only Phillip reached out to Buck to clap him on the arm when they first saw each other in 4x04, a very father son type greeting (if there aren't any hugs). Maddie has been the one to give him all of the motherly touches all of these years. So when Margaret does this, it brings Evan completely to the surface and he's unsure, not really sure if he can trust it. Which is why the shot of Maddie holding onto Buck in the ending scene after giving him her equivalent of memories in a baby box I think is such a beautiful contrast. Evan knows who has really given him the love his parents should have been giving him all along:

But back to the Abby scene above. It makes me want to chomp on bricks for a few reasons:

1) "You've been so amazing and these last few months, I think you've gotten me at least halfway to the person I want to be."' -> how is this line not a fuck you to Buck? If you need to find yourself, fine, do it. Do what you gotta do. But don't you dare say something like that. It only makes you sound like you used him. Look, I was all for Abby and Buck (before Eddie showed up) but when she said that line and then did what she did, yeah not so much Team Abby anymore to be honest. Like the man is in love with you, is more invested in the relationship than you are (which is completely obvious), a dating relationship you pursued, and you say that as your goodbye when you're leaving without ending things between you? Knowing he's going to be waiting for you? Nope. Fuck you very much.

2) I find it very interesting that Abby got upset with the ghosted girls and in the very same scene Buck is apologizing to her and explaining the mix-up, she's getting ready to ghost him. And then does. (we knew Connie was leaving after the end of season 1, but damn that was cruel to do Buck, Tim)

3) While I understand Abby wants to find herself and needs some space, girl, you're in a relationship and you're planning on leaving for a few months. So, #1, did you not think to maybe invite him for a week to go with you and then he could come back and have your space? Or at least give him the option even if he couldn't go due to work or whatever? #2, alright, if you wanted to go solo, that's totally fine, but did you think to discuss it with him first? Not that you need his permission, you're a grown woman and you do you, but did you ever think to discuss the state of your relationship before you decided to jet off, bought your ticket, and started packing your bags? This is why I keep saying Abby absolutely knew she wasn't coming back, not to Buck anyway. Personally, I think she was waiting him out (while doing her own thing), thinking he would eventually get sick of waiting and move on, and she was trying to avoid the uncomfortable conversation. Shitty. Thing. To. Do.

And this is why Evan deserves so much better.

I mean, can you imagine Taylor or Eddie or even Maddie thanking Buck for getting them halfway to the person they want to be after everything? I just...I kind of wish Eddie or Maddie or Athena or Hen or Bobby or even Taylor had been able to have a word with Abby before she skipped town again.

[popcornbutterflymedia]

ORIGIN STORIES IN THE FINER DETAILS. four sisters and a wedding is one of those classic star cinema movies that is so grand it has a life of its own, a life that is growing exponentially larger in time, through quotable quotes, memes, and the place it occupies in pinoy pop culture. i’d watched this movie in the cinemas just as i had almost all star cinema movies for as long as i can remember. i may have written about it too, i cannot remember. i do not remember writing, not because it was forgettable, but because the movie is self-explanatory, the movie stands on its own two feet that words were unnecessary.

the news of a prequel to the 2013 hit was curious. a movie as iconic in its grandeur, comedy, and what seemed, on the surface, like a caricature of the filipino family, surely did not need a prequel. it was too risky. because of this curious choice, the casting of the four younger salazar sisters was met with nonchalance from my end, as much as it is a foregone conclusion that i would watch the movie, even if that means having to teach myself online payment and viewing schemes. anything to help abs-cbn, star cinema. anything by and for miss van and direk mae. they know that. 

the junket was a reminder of how much joy i find in stripping down stories to its heart, dismantling stories only to build it up again, with better understanding while doing so. starting points, beginnings, and histories sold this film to me. that the whys, the reasons for being of the four adult salazars will be answered by this prequel is compelling to me. i have, at least that. especially when the riot of the trailer challenged that belief. that is precisely the genius of star cinema, in reeling you in with all the fun and games and then, unknowingly speaking to your heart so clearly.

do not be fooled by very valid comedic errors and the riot of a spy caper. beyond the laughs is a story of a filipino family built on trust, coexistence, and the individuality to be found within the family unit. it’s a story about the hearts that mold us, the histories that shape us, the choices that separate us, our sense of home and the ties that bind.

a narrative isn’t a narrative without a problem to be solved. there would be no problem to be solved without a conflict. the strength of a story lies in how the different characters each respond to, and process the conflict. i have so much appreciation for how the core conflict, and the processing of said conflict were sustained and varied according to need and character. the beauty, found in how seamlessly these many unique components align. when the alignment is quiet and subtle, the story is told with so much grace. this story has so much grace.

for an ensemble, this movie isn’t a casting coup. it isn’t about the stars it lacked (i watch enough of rise, and frankly, enough of the network that i recognize the girls and everyone in the cast), it’s more that the girls, the rest of the cast, worked quietly. the filming seemed calmer...blame the pandemic for this.

while the girls aren’t unknowns, a measure of trust in the casting gods, in the production, in miss van and direk mae was necessary. i did not see it. or the adult salazars are such iconic queens that even when there was something to see i was unconsciously blind to it? i had to see them in character to realize i was right to trust.

stars were born.

this is a prequel that could stand alone. there was no time to watch the first movie before this one, and so, i was scared the experience would be incomplete. those fears were unwarranted. instead of digesting the salazar saga in chronological order, i love that this provides lightbulb moment after lightbulb moment for the first film. those eureka moments were only possible because the cast, headed by those four girls were perfect for the big shoes they filled in.

charlie dizon as teddie (previously played by toni gonzaga) - my introduction and journey with charlie is an interesting one. i have watched the girl since ‘bagani,’ ‘seven sundays,’ and á soldier’s heart.’ the first two saw her trying to find her footing, pitted against more experienced actors. as such, it should be understandable that her beginnings in the industry showed her as a greenhorn. i stand by my feedback back then when i say, ‘she isn’t bad, she’s just a beginner and the contrast with the veteran actors clearly shows.’ i do not know what i was expecting of her back then, but by ‘a soldier’s heart’ i was surprised that she had moments, and those moments were impressive. i now understand that her charm and her skill stems from being as natural as possible, from not even trying. speech and diction, i am told, could improve, but for now, i feel like that speech and diction is helping her define herself (in ‘fangirl’ especially, which i am extremely excited about). back to being teddie, the girl aced toni’s outlandish character, and comedic beats, as well as her no nonsense, at times reckless bluntness. if the viewer did not know any better, one would think it was charlie who provided the blueprint for toni instead of the other way around. as the eldest burdened by the expectations of being the eldest, eventually crushed by the inability to meet them, i believed charlie. i felt for charlie. i feel like this girl was waiting for that role that would flatter her, fit her like a glove, and it’s safe to say that this is it. it took being a salazar to finally see her. all the rest could be learned. charlie’s chemistry with jameson who plays the highschool love is as strong as it is surprising. it proves two things: charlie and jameson are reliable actors, and direk mae does romance so well it is stupefying. through direk mae’s lens, they were both glowing. beyond kilig, teddie and jeremy’s love story is convincing. jameson was sturdy enough as jeremy to be at the receiving end of teddie’s ate and daddy issues. we all know what happened with this love story, but for a moment there i was convinced they were endgame. 

alexa ilacad as bobbie (previously played by bea alonzo) - filling in bea alonzo’s shoes alone is a tall order, and while alexa has been a reliable young actress from that pantheon of going bulilit kids, to my mind, bea alonzo’s shoes were still too big even for someone as experienced. and even if she could pull it off, i didn’t know how that would look, what alexa’s interpretation would be. and that not knowing, not being able to foresee makes me nervous. this bobbie is quieter than i expected, comparing it to where bea’s bobbie ended up, steadier with a bit of restlessness. this is one of the few times returning to bea’s portrayal was helpful. alexa’s portrayal fueled the fire of bea’s adult bobbie. does that even make sense? basically, it was clear in the characterization and portrayals of both bobbies that both actresses played one person. alexa’s bobbie was quieter. she bore the brunt of her mother’s micro-agressions. she made herself smaller to accommodate the elder sister. what i initially found to be calmer meltdowns was bobbie trying to balance her selfless nature with the demands of her heart. bobbie’’s major meltdown is bea’s in the first movie not alexa’s. i do not know who is responsible for that choice but it’s one of those lightbulb moments that came to me days after watching the movie and it was so smart!

gillian vicencio as alex (previously played by angel locsin) - this part of the post should come with a disclaimer: gillian is a favorite. gillian is a standout. gillian is a breakout star. and gillian still surprised. there was not a single moment with her. i do not think i’ve even watched any of her movies before this. i alternated between not understanding why she was part of rise, and just not caring. do not get me wrong, i trust star cinema and rise, i knew there was a reason why she was chosen. i just did not see it at first. there was no single moment, no single decision. it was a series of quarantine interviews, on that online rise show especially. it was gradual. the girl demands and commands your attention, in the way she fearlessly engages people like she’s genuinely interested. hers is a courage that i cannot look away from. because i did not watch the first movie before this, i’ve forgotten how edgy alex is, so imagine believing in a girl so much going into my first of experience of her acting, but not knowing what to expect at all to be blown away? it was an internal celebration for me - of the validation of my instincts, and her breakthrough. gillian, as alex manages to fill every moment she is onscreen, that even when it is not her moment, i still feel her, and when she’s not around, her internal tension lingers.

joao as chad is worth a paragraph. this is a moment of bluntness, but i am not the target demographic for boybands and so i tend to be indifferent. joao also came on too strong, which intimidates, so when the boy was cast in that joshlia series a couple of years back, i was one of those who questioned the choice, until i ended up watching him. i was impressed. i was surprised that i was impressed. it was no longer a question of his ability to act when he was included on this major star cinema film, but a question of his chemistry with whoever he ends up working with. in this case, the boy is working with two different girls, two different characters. there’s only one of him so i can only imagine how demanding it was to figure in a triangle with two strong actresses who play characters who manifest strength and presence differently. and surprise, surprise! the boy adjusts. and it works. i am just realizing this as i am writing, but i love that he mellowed when he was with the chill teddie, and he was all edgy and strong around alex. and even when alex was vulnerable, he returned that vulnerability and sincerity differently. the boy met and matched the girls in such unique ways. say hello to my goosebumps as i am writing this. teddie and chad is the steady fire that warms the heart, while alex and chad together are like loud and blinding fireworks that cannot be chased and do not last very long.

belle mariano as gabbie (previously played by shaina magdayao) - belle is another one of those ever reliable former child actors, my favorite child actress to watch play young versions of our queen actresses in teleseryes and such. it’s not like i got to watch her grow up though, so i did not know the kind of actress she was when she was chosen by rise, or even handpicked  for ‘he’s into her,’ a story i had heard, but know nothing of. this is the first time i am seeing her in character as a grown up. gabbie, even in the first movie, has always been the steadiest, most grounded of them all. i do not remember gabbie having larger than life meme-ble moments so going into this i did not have anything to latch onto where her character is concerned. i did not know if belle had anything to latch onto for herself. that’s not to say, belle and shaina aren’t amazing actresses or that gabbie is the least of the sisters. i find that to discover her quirks, gabbie requires the most attention. in the trailers, gabbie appeared to be the quietest of the sisters, so quiet, she risks being invisible. as much as i personally understand it, i wondered what her function in the family was. it is a lightbulb moment then, to realize that it is her quiet that magnifies her sisters, her parents’ individual personalities. it is her quiet that allows everyone around her to just be who they are. her quiet means she is okay, and whole on her own that she can afford to be everyone else’s reference point. and that is beautiful. belle played gabbie beautifully. so beautifully, i am actually in tears right now?! wow. gabbie doesn’t need so much herself, that her bonds are singular. that she can choose the people who see her. her essence shines the brightest when she relates and bonds individually, with each of her parents, with each of her sisters, and with jp.

can we please talk about a certain sakristan and the actor who plays him? jeremiah lisbo, to me, is one of the casualties of ‘the pandemic pre-empted ‘make it with you.’ i already had my eye on anthony jennings, (as i should, that boy’s amazing) and honestly, not quite understanding how miah’s character on the show serves the story when that happened to ‘miwy.’ as i was sulking and mourning on the show’s behalf, one of the things i was told was, how it was unfortunate that miah’s arc wasn’t developed and how it was too bad that i wasn’t able to see what the boy can do. i see it now. i fully understand. he doesn’t make things more complicated than it should be. he doesn’t even need too many lines to emotionally communicate. he only needs to look at you with intent. that’s what miah and belle share - an effortlessness, the ability to slip into a character and a required emotion with ease. now, i don’t know what plans rise, star cinema and the network have for miah and belle, but on account of this movie, i would love to see them work together again, never mind the shipping, these two work well together. i also want to see a different ending (not happier, just different). i actually do not mind these two working without a permanent partner, for the freedom to work with anyone who suits a particular character at a particular time. . they can handle themselves well.

back to gabbie, it should be pointed out that on this movie there are two incredibly different kinds of silences - bobbie’s, which is driven by ‘perfection,’ by propriety, and her ‘smallness’ in relation to the rest of her family. it is a quiet that is born out of a need for harmony, whereas gabbie is quiet, still, and steady by nature. that is interesting to see play out, especially in the first movie. one more small thing: i hope this isn’t spoiler-ish, but seeing where shaina was at the start of this movie, for a while there, i thought she could be a nun? that being a nun is a very valid option? that’s just me. 

cj, toti marie, lovely mae tete and bette the spy. what do you say to the cast of characters who provide levity to a movie? you thank them. i’ll be the first to tell you that this isn’t my kind of comedy. for a time, it actually felt like an alternate storyline, a movie within the movie. come to think of it, it is reminiscent of those classic 90′s comedies i grew up with. it was entertaining enough though, it made me smile. this subplot was spread enough throughout the entire movie that it made a case for the central conflict of the movie which was the trust issues of all the girls. it was sustained while it was necessary but did not abuse its welcome to the point of tackiness. totie marie is a favorite. the character also managed to make a point for representation which is cool. lovely mae was surprising, scratch your head surprising, but amusing nonetheless. if not for this subplot, this movie would’ve been a heavy filipino family telenovela-ish saga. which isn’t  bad per se, but this is the first time in months that ‘we went to the movies’ it wouldn’t hurt to distinguish itself. as it did.

as a lola’s girl, it is imperative that i write about lola ibyang. also, as a lola’s girl, i am generally opposed to villainizing the grandma, never mind that i have watched enough pinoy seryes to be used to it. it is no longer a surprise. in fact, in this case, i expected it. the real, bigger surprise is the fact that grace comes from a well-off, comfortable family. the real surprise to me, is lola ibyang’s heart, how, when. and for what reason that heart of hers was worn on her sleeve. what surprised, is that her one liners that can be misconstrued as veiled threats we’d hear from villains are actually pragmatic, sound advice, that both pulls the family’s patriarch down to earth, and a necessary perspective of what the girls deserve. this reminds me of when my own lola would give me money for no reason at all - ‘reserve,’ just in case i would need it. this also reminds me of how my own mama would get mad at me, because she thought i wasn’t eating in school, because of how much i had saved up, how she would get mad at me for not buying what i want because i was too ‘kuripot.’what will you do with your money if you do not spend it for yourself?’ she used to ask. this is me realizing grace’s reaction towards her mother...while we root for the salazars and cheer for caloy and grace’s love, something must also be said about the mother/daughter dynamic between grace and ibyang. interesting enough. to have irma adlawan play ibyang makes the interesting fascinating. i would say hers is one of my favorites - in terms of how the character was written. i am sorry, i am going through it as i am writing this, realizing just how intricately this is written. see, for some reason, this movie seemed simpler than the other star cinema movies, simpler compared to how i know this team writes. it’s not. it’s such a trademark of this team, and i might be freaking out.

the parental unit, carmina villaroel as grace (played by coney reyes) and dominic ochoa who we meet for the first time on this movie - carmina played grace as any mother should be played, being the primary caregiver, and speaking to grace’s dynamic with her own mother. i was about to say grace is the steady one out of the two parents, but steady doesn’t mean not influential. i would say her constant presence affects the kids more in ways that are stronger and sometimes unflattering. it doesn’t help that she has her own issues to deal with, one of which is that of her and her husband’s issues. i wonder if her unintentional micro-aggressions are also reflective of her relationship with her own mother? or is it just a generational thing?

dominic ochoa as caloy, the previously absent dad. the junket saw dominic ochoa being praised  for being a dad, for the different ways he found, a father could be played. i thought that was such generous praise for a character that was previously absent. the fact that this is a story about four daughters, it did occur to me that individual relationships with the father might be important, but without reference from the first movie there was no clue how dominic would play the patriarch. in this movie carmina as grace felt ever present, and dominic as caloy was quiet and subdued, that the praise seemed unwarranted. that is until caloy had moments with each of the girls, most memorable of which is gabbie’s and alex’s. for a singular patriarch he was two different dads to the two girls, depending on who they were and what they needed at that moment. when he faced the all the girls, the youngest boy with grace by his side, and even when he faced his mother in law, you saw a face of strength which manifested itself in the courage of a dependable patriarch, and the walls of a man who has a complex relationship with the mother of his wife. there was nothing in his performance that was loud, obnoxious, or even asserted being a man of the house. but it was never once drowned out by the overwhelming female energy. it was effortless and oddly comforting to watch.

favorite moments:

the original cast

the chaos of the salazar house, overlapping conversations and all

pop culture references of the time. i just smile to myself.

teddie real talking bobbie, because while i know that only sisters can speak to each other that way, and teddie is teddie i also do not know how i feel about her bluntness

bobbie and chad’s music talk. i believed the connection

chad loving how bobbie loves her sisters, alex, in particular. (is this spoiler territory?) but that line.

jp looking at gabbie. because miah surprised, there’s something in how he and belle connected, and...just me and my fascination with an actor’s eyes.

chad and alex’s heartbreak scene, how gillian took that, ran with it, and joao caught up

the parking lot scene. it was a lot but it was clear and precise and i loved it

https://starcinema.abs-cbn.com/2020/12/15/news/easter-eggs-you-probably-missed-from-four-sisters-66365 - this list of easter eggs, i just finished reading, and i fell in love with a movie even more. this list proves that this movie has this team’s stamp all over it. i am not surprised, but i am still in awe and very, very kilig.

the end of the movie says that those who love forgive and are forgiven, accept, to be accepted. in order to forgive and to accept, i always feel like pain and resistance must be embraced with abandon. in this simultaneously loud and quiet, vibrant and beautiful mess of a movie was permission to embrace what needs embracing with abandon, even the not so flattering, not so proper, the hesitations and the insecurities. it allowed me to cry, for that i am grateful.

not that you ever left, but my dear star cinema, it is incredibly comforting to have you back. if content is king, you are royalty, it is not the titles, though that make the stories you tell special. they are special because for all the glitz, glamour, and grandeur of your films, it’s still personal. when i say you know how to tell me a story, you know what that means. every story is a conversation between you and me. you and your audience. they just happen to be blockbusters. thank you for finding ways, leading the way to get to us. much, much power and love. please don’t ever leave us alone again. 

see you in the actual cinemas next time, perhaps?! ✨🥰

[tonysopranosfeverdreams]

idk if you’re like. doing these for everyone or just specific ppl, but

alex g: harvey, sorry, gnaw, bobby

mitski: a burning hill, my body’s made of crushed little stars, old friend

phoebe: i know the end, moon song, scott street, & don’t judge be but. her cover of you missed my heart 💀

I knooo id be happy to do some if anyone wants to hear my opinions i don’t mind i love analyzing stuff asjdjksfjdfdjsf

So one thing that I think of all of your favorite Alex G songs point to, which is interesting, is this tension between different parts of yourself that sometimes seem to contradict each other and which  you can have difficulty reconciling maybe sometimes? Harvey as the first one you mentioned I think lends to this idea because first of all you have this real allegiance to your close friends and/or family that sort of drives you at your core but you feel this pressure from others holding you to this standard of traditional/expected models of success that you’re not sure you fit into at the same time that you don’t want to let down the people you care about. Similarly, I think Bobby has an essence of insecurity like my life and relationships are very messy, the lines are very confusing, I don’t always understand exactly what’s going on, but a deep drive to do right by the people you are connected to to the best of your ability. So I think you can doubt yourself but you have a lot of love for many people in your life that sort of bleeds through everything you do. You would do anything for the people who are important to you, even though you’re not sure if it’s enough, and put them first. 

 Sorry and Gnaw I think  also have this element of dueling sides of the self  but I think at their core they’re also really about the shame that comes from not being able to keep yourself “in check” and from emotions and feelings that you didn’t want other people to see floating to the surface despite your best efforts and the destructive/self-destructive things you did to cope with that vulnerability. But the really interesting thing about both of those songs being ones you mentioned,  I think, is that  as time went by the initial shame and embarrassment and need to coverup whatever you were feeling isn’t what stuck, but the awareness that you could have hurt someone else with those behaviors, and a sadness about that.  So I think you’re very reflective and self-aware almost to a fault, and tend to ruminate and obsess over the effects you could have had on others even in your personally very distressed or self-destructive moments more than necessarily being concerned with yourself.

 Sort of in a similar vein to ALL of those songs, a  Burning Hill and My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars both seem to speak to me to this sense  of a tremendous pressure that you feel to accomplish or achieve something that  feels meaningful that can really wear you down but also this desire to achieve it to prove (mostly to yourself more than anyone else maybe) that you can and sort of make something of yourself. You are very hard on yourself and have a very all-or-nothing attitude when it comes to success, and can discount your own achievements because you don’t think they’re Enough. At the same time, you have this rebellious streak I think that AGAIN rejects the traditional hierarchy of what other people deem as successful or normal and thrives on the chaotic and confusing aspects of life and is able to find the beauty in them and in rejecting what other people expect of you. 

Old Friend is maybe circling back more to Bobby vibes where you have this tendency to have messy relationships where you’re not sure exactly where the lines are or what exactly it is you are feeling all the time, but you also kind of like them for that reason  and enjoy the confusing ways of forming connection and showing affection that come with. You are nostalgic to a fault and find comfort in connections from the past and tend to carry old feelings with you and turning them over and over in your mind.

WHICH FITS IN PERFECTLY with scott street. A fixation on past relationships where maybe something went unsaid and you can’t quite let it go, even as you know it wasn’t a healthy situation or something that necessarily  you even actually want back, but something that means something to you now because it did at one time that it sorta wormed its way into how you experience connections with people, it’s integral to you even if it doesn’t fully make sense. This transitions to Moon Song I think,  like you might have this tendency  to try to fit feelings and relationships that don’t feel very straightforward to you( but that you feel very strongly about) into shapes and labels that might make more sense from an outside perspective and say the right words and do the right things that people do, but you feel sometimes like there’s something you’re missing or not getting quite right or aren’t quite equipped to handle, but really you’re just being hard on yourself again. You can see yourself as used or underappreciated sometimes in relationships but also you kind of like the intensity of existing just to wait around for someone or  give someone you love something they want.

I Know the End is great because I think you have this sense that you are out to collect experiences and images in life, and that you will make meaning out of even the outwardly bleakest situations. You can find the beauty in even mundane or grotesque things, and that keeps you going. 

i’d actually never of you missed my heart??it’s so pretty im gonna need some time to sit with it i’ll get back to you tho asjdsahdsahdhasdhld 

[larkiwrites]

“Redemption” Chapter 16

AU: Supernatural Title: Redemption Chapter: Sixteen Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader Word Count:  1,895 Pairing: Getting There…. Warnings: Flashbacks, references to wounds from previous chapters A/N: This chapter flips between (Y/N)’s POV and more of Dean’s POV. So sorry for the delay. Working F/T + homeschooling my kid + my husband having surgery.... it’s been busy.  

Chapter Fifteen  |  Chapter Seventeen   |   Masterlist

*Dean’s POV

Dean glanced back at (Y/N) in the rear-view mirror of his beloved Impala. They had all gotten some rest at the cabin, and were even sorry to say goodbye to the place when they left for Bobby’s, but Sam and Dean knew it was the best place to go for now. Bobby could help them track the demon that had attacked (Y/N), for starters. (Y/N) would also be safe with Bobby, at his house, while the two brothers hunted the demon down. For now, she sat quietly and watched the scenery pass by. He knew she had questions, he would think she was crazy if she didn’t, but he didn’t want to be the one to bring them up. He and his brother had agreed, no more secrets with her, of any kind, but he didn’t have a single clue on how to broach the subject. Somehow, he didn’t think, ‘hey, sorry about that back there, we should have told you there as a demon in town,’ would be a good start.

Sam sat in the passenger side of the car, also watching the landscape go by in a blur. It was a rare moment when Sam wasn’t engulfed in his laptop or a book but Dean figured they could all use a break for a minute, even from research. Classic rock resonated from the speakers, just barely loud enough for the three of them to register it. Other than that, the sound of the vehicle on the highway was all that could be heard. Oddly enough, the ride seemed less tense than some of the drives they had taken previously. Maybe it was because Dean had also decided that he would stop trying to distance himself from (Y/N). She was apparently in it for the long haul, so what was the point? More importantly, he knew it was his actions that had pushed her out the motel door and into the demon’s grip. It was his fault she had been strung up and essentially tortured. There was a lot of work to do to try make up for his stupidity and the pain it had caused. His grip tightened on the wheel as he subconsciously clenched his jaw, thinking back on it.

---- *(Y/N)’s POV

The drive to Bobby’s was long. Despite being back with Sam and Dean, and even with Dean acting like a caring human for once, you’d never felt so alone. You tried not to think about all of the things you had learned, or remembered, over the past week. You chose, instead, to stare blankly out the rear window of the Impala. In spite of your efforts, the memories continued to surface in your mind.

You were an only child, and your parents were the only family you had ever had. Sure, you had friends and you had dated before, but your parents were your only blood. Now they were gone, and you were really, truly alone. To top it off, you knew you could never go home, either. You could never go to their graves and weep for them or try to apologize. You were surprised you hadn’t been arrested by now. Did the police not know you were the culprit? They must have found fingerprints all over your parents’ home left by you and the black-eyed man, whoever he was. Maybe they were searching for you now. Were you putting Sam and Dean at risk? Would they be charged for harboring a fugitive? You had no idea. A tear slipped down your face as your emotions became too much. You quickly wiped it away and ducked your head, suddenly very interested in your hands.

“(Y/N)?” It was Dean’s that spoke. It was odd hearing his tone laced with concern.

“Hmm?” you couldn’t bring yourself to verbalize a reply, the tears threatening to spill over.

“You ok?” he asked softly.

You nodded, refusing to look up, and tried to take a steady breath. You felt exhausted.

“What’s goin on in that head?” Sam’s attention was on you, now.

Taking a deep breath, you looked up, your gaze meeting the younger Winchester’s. Concern was etched into his features as his hazel eyes searched yours.

“I, um,” you glanced away, unable to finish the thought while looking at him. You closed your eyes before continuing, “I think might have done something, something before meeting you.”

You hadn’t meant to talk about it now, but the words slipped out before you could catch them. You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat and fought the abrupt urge to open the car door and jump out. The prospect of being ran over suddenly became more appealing than continuing the conversation. Opening your eyes once more, you focused again on your hands, picking anxiously at the cuticle of your thumb nail.

“Something like what, (Y/N)?” Sam pressed.

“I’m not sure, I think I might have hurt some people…” you trailed off, remembering the nightmares you had had since leaving the hospital with the Winchesters. If you killed your parents, did that mean the nightmares were real? Had you hurt anyone else?

“Why,” Dean cleared his throat, “Why do you, uh, say that?”

Daring to meet his eyes in the rearview mirror, you whispered, “I think I remember it.”

It was silent for what felt like a lifetime. You missed the shared look between the brothers in the front seat as you went back to staring at your hands.

“What do you remember?” the younger man turned toward you.

“I, um, well, I’m not….sure,” you finished lamely, they would think you were crazy if you told them the subway story, you were sure of it.

“Do you remember meeting us, before the hospital?” Dean’s eyes found yours in the mirror once more as his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

You nodded slowly, forcing yourself to maintain the eye contact. You couldn’t find the words to answer him. This wasn’t the direction you wanted to take the conversation and that asphalt under the tires was becoming more tempting by the second.

“All of it?” he barely whispered, his gaze flitting between the rearview mirror and the road at an alarming rate.

You shook your head, looking back at your hands before replying, “I remember a warehouse, or something- um, some kind of empty building… and fighting with the two of you. It’s--” you swallowed, emotion bubbling up within you, “um, kind of hazy, but I remember being tied to a chair.” Tears began to slowly spill from your eyes.

“Is that why you ran?”

You nodded, closing your eyes tightly.

“(Y/N),” Sam’s voice was raw with emotion. Just the way he said your name almost sounded like he was pleading with you.

Dean pulled the Impala off of the highway and onto a dirt road that stretched out toward a farm in the distance. You wrapped your arms about your waist, trying to cling to something- anything- and to hold yourself together. You were so confused, all of the distorted memories and nightmares swirled in your mind, pooling and muddling together. Your resolve began to crumble as tears streamed freely down your face. You held your breath in an attempt to keep from sobbing.

You faintly registered the sound of car doors opening and shutting as you held yourself. Suddenly, the warmth of strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you sideways into a broad chest. The scent of leather with faded hints of fire overwhelmed you. You buried your face in your hands as you continued to cry, trying desperately to keep yourself from breaking down entirely.

“Let it out,” Dean soothed as he rubbed circles on your back, letting you cry into his shirt. You briefly wondered why it was Dean, why not Sam? The thought left as soon as it came as Dean rocked you slowly, holding you together for you as you let go.

--- *Dean’s POV

Sam and Dean had exited the car together, just as soon as the car was parked. The younger Winchester leaned against the hood of the Impala, running his hands through his long hair, while his older brother climbed into the back seat with (Y/N). God, she was hurt. Confusion was evident in her tone as she relayed what few images she had pieced together, and Dean felt like shit. He should have listened to Sam. He should have told her everything, the moment they brought her back to that first motel with them.

The memories of those first few days with (Y/N) came rushing back as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. Sam had left the motel, went to get supplies or something, leaving Dean and (Y/N) alone. Out of genuine concern he had helped her tend to the wound on her head, regret filling him to his core as he did. He knew she only had stitches because of them. The hunt had gone all wrong, and they had ended up fighting her into submission and into that stupid chair. They exorcised the demon and saved the girl, or so he had thought. He had no idea how broken she was and how much work there was left before she could be considered ‘saved.’

“Let it out,” his voice was rough with emotion as he rubbed circles on her back, urging her to relax, to breathe. He knew he and Sam had a lot to explain but that could wait. Right now, she needed to get this out of her system and he didn’t intend to let her do it on her own.

Sam began pacing outside of the car. He knew Dean had (Y/N), he knew his brother cared for her and knew she was in good hands, but none of that knowledge seemed to quell the anxiety within him. He checked the watch on his wrist every few minutes, not wanting to delay getting to Bobby’s. He had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach, urging him not to linger in one place for too long. After fifteen minutes he slid back into the passenger seat of the car, looking behind him at his brother and (Y/N). Dean’s shirt was soaked in tears and his eyes welled with emotion while he held her tightly to him. She looked small and vulnerable against his brother. He met his Dean’s gaze and the elder Winchester nodded; he knew they needed to head out. After a moment of hesitation, he instructed Sam to drive, he would sit in the back with (Y/N) for a bit. The keys still hung in the ignition, making it easy for Sam to slide over into the driver seat and start the car back up.

The uneasy feeling that he had was growing ever stronger, pushing him to move faster than he would have normally. He turned the car around and got back onto the highway, accelerating until he was well over the speed limit. If Dean or (Y/N) noticed the speed they didn’t say anything. Dean continued to hold onto their upset friend until she relaxed in his arms and eventually fell asleep, the emotions having taken a toll on her. Sam couldn’t explain the urgency behind his movements or why he suddenly felt so anxious, he only knew they needed to get to Bobby’s, and fast.

----

Next Chapter

[ainereads]

Disneymovieathon TBR

This month I am participating in The Disneymovieathon. I’m really excited about this one because High School Musical is one of my favourite Disney originals! I’m on the science kids team. All book descriptions are from Goodreads.

Read a book that is pink or glittery

I’ve picked The Babysitter’s Coven by Kate Williams. The entire cover isn’t pink but there’s a lot of it throughout. 

Seventeen-year-old Esme Pearl has a babysitters club. She knows it's kinda lame, but what else is she supposed to do? Get a job? Gross. Besides, Esme likes babysitting, and she's good at it. And lately Esme needs all the cash she can get, because it seems like destruction follows her wherever she goes. Let's just say she owes some people a new tree. Enter Cassandra Heaven. She's Instagram-model hot, dresses like she found her clothes in a dumpster, and has a rebellious streak as gnarly as the cafeteria food. So why is Cassandra willing to do anything, even take on a potty-training two-year-old, to join Esme's babysitters club? The answer lies in a mysterious note Cassandra's mother left her: "Find the babysitters. Love, Mom." Turns out, Esme and Cassandra have more in common than they think, and they're about to discover what being a babysitter really means: a heroic lineage of superpowers, magic rituals, and saving the innocent from seriously terrifying evil. And all before the parents get home. 

Read a book set in space

I picked Gemina by Jay Kristoff & Amie Kauffman for this prompt. I really enjoyed Illuminae by them. 

Hanna is the station captain’s pampered daughter; Nik the reluctant member of a notorious crime family. But while the pair are struggling with the realities of life aboard the galaxy’s most boring space station, little do they know that Kady Grant and the Hypatia are headed right toward Heimdall, carrying news of the Kerenza invasion. When an elite BeiTech strike team invades the station, Hanna and Nik are thrown together to defend their home. But alien predators are picking off the station residents one by one, and a malfunction in the station’s wormhole means the space-time continuum might be ripped in two before dinner. Soon Hanna and Nik aren’t just fighting for their own survival; the fate of everyone on the Hypatia—and possibly the known universe—is in their hands. But relax. They’ve totally got this. They hope.

Read a romantic book

I picked Frankly in Love by Davd Yoon. I’ve had this on my TBR for a while and really want to get to it. 

Frank Li is a high school senior living in Southern California. Frank's parents emigrated from Korea, and have pretty much one big rule for Frank - he must only date Korean girls. But he's got strong feelings for a girl in his class, Brit - and she's not Korean. His friend Joy Song is in the same boat and knows her parents will never accept her Chinese American boyfriend, so they make a pact: they'll pretend to date each other in order to gain their freedom. Frank thinks fake-dating is the perfect plan, but it leaves him wondering if he ever really understood love - or himself - at all.

Use a random number generator

I got Date Me, Bryson Keller by Kevin van Whye when I used the number generator. This is a new book on my TBR. 

Everyone knows about the dare: Each week, Bryson Keller must date someone new--the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. Few think Bryson can do it. He may be the king of Fairvale Academy, but he's never really dated before. Until a boy asks him out, and everything changes. Kai Sheridan didn't expect Bryson to say yes. So when Bryson agrees to secretly go out with him, Kai is thrown for a loop. But as the days go by, he discovers there's more to Bryson beneath the surface, and dating him begins to feel less like an act and more like the real thing. Kai knows how the story of a gay boy liking someone straight ends. With his heart on the line, he's awkwardly trying to navigate senior year at school, at home, and in the closet, all while grappling with the fact that this "relationship" will last only five days. After all, Bryson Keller is popular, good-looking, and straight . . . right? Kevin van Whye delivers an uplifting and poignant coming-out love story that will have readers rooting for these two teens to share their hearts with the world--and with each other.

Read a book you changed your mind about

I picked Normal People by Sally Rooney for this prompt. When I read it the first time, it took me a while to realise I was actually enjoying it because I found it strange to be honest. Now, it’s one of my favourites of the year. 

Read a book in a day

For this prompt, I’ve decided to listen to Quidditch Through the Ages on audiobook because it’s so short. 

Read a polarising book

After googling what this meant, I’ve gone with Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney. Most people say you like one or the other, so I’m interested to see which I prefer. 

Frances is twenty-one years old, cool-headed, and darkly observant. A college student and aspiring writer, she devotes herself to a life of the mind--and to the beautiful and endlessly self-possessed Bobbi, her best friend and comrade-in-arms. Lovers at school, the two young women now perform spoken-word poetry together in Dublin, where a journalist named Melissa spots their potential. Drawn into Melissa's orbit, Frances is reluctantly impressed by the older woman's sophisticated home and tall, handsome husband. Private property, Frances believes, is a cultural evil--and Nick, a bored actor who never quite lived up to his potential, looks like patriarchy made flesh. But however amusing their flirtation seems at first, it gives way to a strange intimacy neither of them expect. As Frances tries to keep her life in check, her relationships increasingly resist her control: with Nick, with her difficult and unhappy father, and finally even with Bobbi. Desperate to reconcile herself to the desires and vulnerabilities of her body, Frances's intellectual certainties begin to yield to something new: a painful and disorienting way of living from moment to moment.

And that’s my entire TBR for this readathon. I’m so excited to complete it!

[ytsthepodcast]

Infinite Consciousness Could Be Predetermined As Energy (#20)

Infinite consciousness could be predetermined as energy, which is never created or destroyed, which kind of lends to reincarnation. But that might be another thing, but definitely what we do in life. And those set milestones, you know, get a diploma, get a job, get a big house, nice car. Having the awareness that there is life and certainly something that you can look into things.

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        Did you hear the last episode with Bobby Tester? The Biggest Obstacles In The Culture Of Toughness And Self-Sufficiency (#19)

            LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE

  Is the D.A.R.E. program good for America's kids (K-12)?

The 5 big lies that D.A.R.E. told you about drugs.

David Icke

David Icke is an English writer and public speaker, known since the 1990s as a professional conspiracy theorist

David is the author of over 21 books, 10 DVDs and has lectured in over 25 countries, speaking live for up to 10 hours to huge audiences, filling stadiums like Wembley Arena.

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      SHOW NOTES

How our social upbringing plays an impact on complacency.

It's when you're at the lowest frequency and we're soaking up informationSubliminal messaging in television shows.

The problem with the DARE program.

And much more.

      Interested in getting on the show?

      Previous Episode

Should You Feel Ashamed For Wanting To Kill Yourself? The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. But if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you need to know that you're not alone. The Biggest Obstacles In The Culture Of Toughness And Self-Sufficiency (#19)

        Transcription

  You have to have a definition of success. If I could go back, this does not mean things that I would go back for, but what do you do when you lose your purpose? It's okay to struggle. It's okay. That you're not okay. I am your host Craig for Vasa together. We will go on a journey. The show is all about surpassing our internal dialogue.

We discovering. The true identity in new foresight, we have a chance to make the world a better place for our chip. Starting leaning in the example today and become your future self tomorrow. If you can leave our viewers with some good advice to follow, what would you let them know? These things that you're afraid to do?

Go boom.

  We're tapping into surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern-day and honing in on new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance. You never knew this is your transformation station with your host, Greg Abaza.

Then, the military gave me this fire inside, and lately, I just feel like I've been struggling to keep it ignited. I'm pretty sure it's probably not so much the fire that they instilled in you as much as it is the fire that you already have, that they help jar out. You already have that power and that flare and drive.

It's just that being put in that situation drew it out of you more than it would if you will like a regular citizen, the situation that I've noticed. Okay. I'm an introvert. However, you put me into a situation where I have men that are below me waiting to react to my command. I can, I completed one 80 into an extrovert, all a passion, anger, and frustration to deliver the very best I can be for them.

  And that is wood is something that I don't because you want them to be able to obtain the frequency that you have got to. You want to draw out in them the same way things which are not in you. Which still means that they have that fire in them. But in this scenario with you as a leader, you draw that fire that's in them up to the surface.

And that is within the regimen. It's in command is taking orders and following tasks. Nate, welcome to your transformation station. How are you doing brother? I'm great. Thanks for having me. What's that with you when you do it right now. Now right now, I am trying to find out where I'm going in life. And, uh, obviously I'm doing this podcast with you.

  It's really relatable. Like what are we doing with our lives? I was dunno, man. I fell out. Most people just go day to day and never think it through like wake up and react to the day rather than planning it out. Exactly. That's all people do. They let things happen in set up, making it happen themselves. What do you think that complacency it's taught through childhood up until school?

You know, the entire indoctrination of the system is kind of why most people are where they are now. So it's like an industrialized mindset. Hasn't left. That they're still, it still carries over because it's enforced through school such as we were taught to just obey, listen, learn, and then go to college, then get a job, get married, and then die.

Exactly. It is. This sounds miserable when you say it out loud, that is, that is. Um, it's what you make of it to a certain extent, but it starts from before school, you have parents, for example, that will transition the knowledge of the system. They were taught to their newborn baby babies to toddlers young children before they even get the chance to go to school or kindergarten or whatever it may be, keep going.

  Okay. So for example, we are taught from an early age, that dreams are not real. So if a young child has a nightmare or a bad dream, it's put down to be in a boogie man under the bed, or, you know, Oh, it's just a dream. It wasn't real. But keep in mind, this is some of the most influential ears of your life.

It's when you're at the lowest frequency around that four Hertz range and we're soaking up information. And it's all coming from parents that have been felt through the system and a system through technology, through phones, tablets, TVs. Um, that has become a surrogate parent of sorts to children because they spend so much time watching television and soaking up all of this information.

Not realizing that it's not organic and it's preprogram prescheduled pre-installed is all decoded and they're recounted into saying a child's show. And then it's broadcast and the child was soaking up all that information, not knowing whether it's positive or negative because their young brains are too young and underdeveloped to process that from wrong.

  So are you saying subliminal messaging in children's shows? Exactly. Can you elaborate on that? Um, I mean, I wouldn't say it's necessarily a child show, but the Simpsons have, let's say, had its fair share of interest in the media over the last few years. Um, they predicted a lot, you know, obviously Donald Trump's presidency, the nine 11 incident we had happened here in America, um, is being installed into personal homes.

You know, they've polluted to quite a lot of stuff. I can pick that up in a second. As far as indoctrinated of what our family values are, what our parents believe. How did you come to understand that is what's happening today in America? Well, here's the thing. Um, being able to, and being allowed to are two separate things.

Most children won't venture out because they're afraid of what their family, their peers or say. And when you're a young child, you have more fear of both Dorothy than certain people do as they progress through life. But. When all is said and done, the child was told not to put the curve and the hands in the cookie jar, normally of the children that end up doing it and have a face full of crumbs.

  I don't know if you're familiar with the dare program. It stands for drug abuse, something. I can't remember the exact words I have to look that up and then I'll enter in the show notes, but the whole point of it is to teach children that drugs are bad. It's like, if you smoke weed, you are Brian to smoke other drugs.

You will pretty much, the backfire as well, they tried weed. Oh, I didn't end up homeless. Okay. So let's try it. Let's try some heroin. Let's try some, let's try some crack. It just kept going. And they were like, well, fuck, they didn't plan that. So would it relate to what you're saying? Or is this a completely deeper topic that I'm going on too?

So I think with drugs is subjective to an addictive personality and it depends on why someone would use weed, um, would lean into whether they were more prone to, or not try other drugs, have a harder, more chemical substance. Is let's face it, not everyone that smokes cannabis ends up being a method.

  It's just not known plus cannabis hasn't as far as I'm still aware, ever had a recorded history of death in human history. So, and obviously math, cocaine, heroin opium, all of these other things they can kill and they have, and they will, I think the tobacco industry. Is also fighting that, wow, it's not death from a cigarette.

It's cancer that is caused by proxy. Yes. Cell killing people left-right. And center every day. Doesn't change. Let's go back. You've said the child being brought up at a certain frequency. What do you mean by frequency? So when you are born and you're out of the worm, As, you know, a child's head is not the same size as an adult head, which means, you know, the brain is softer and more vulnerable, I guess, to young babies.

That's why, you know, people take extra care with babies over a 13-year-old boy, for example. Um, and with that, The brain, as it evolves and grows gains mass, as well as soaking up all this information. And so I guess the frequency that I was pertaining to is when you are a certain age between. One and four you're around a lower Hertz frequency range, um, like radio waves for G wifi, um, and information that you process through the senses.

You know, the smell, touch, airing, taste, all of this pertains to what a child will learn. So basically. If they're exposed to the good things that those senses can pick up, then they're going to have a headstart over someone who is born into negativity. I'm a broken home. Uh, parents are, it did to a substance of some kind, um, abused being shown.

  Some things on television aren't appropriate for that age range. But most importantly, I think it's what the child sees outside of the home as well because that's another thing that they decode different than say, someone of older age, because someone that say 13, that's been to school and being a part of the programming.

We'll see. Mainly the programming outside of the score outside of the family hub. It's. Pre-installed whereas a young child, they don't have a bad experience with the outside world and they haven't been indicted translated yet. So they decode it differently than someone older say, decode, I'm referring to the way they perceive things.

The way they look at the world and everything in it. They look at the world in a more your perspective, something that caught my ear. Uh, it was, uh, Broke up was prime. It made me want to think of prime, a decode Prince sold. Maybe these children are being primed or something it's preemptive. Yes. Yeah. Now, what do you think people in societies actually being primed for?

  To answer. Some of this is to open up a real big hole and it's kind of endless. So you have to first acknowledge the separation of self and everything else that isn't the self. So when you say what splits up a person's life, pretty much from their true calling, you have. You know, for me, Nate, that works at the store and it's Nate at the store.

That's what people say. But the real stuff isn't even bound to Kara tourist steaks or the true South. Isn't the body I'm in. It's more of infinite consciousness now. Yeah. Again, I've been inspired by David Ike for years. And a lot of this, I have picked up from him and when I was younger, I really didn't understand it.

But nowhere near as much as I'm starting to now. And he just described the life that we lead as an experience, we are infinite consciousness, living, and experience, and infinite, conscious snares could be predetermined as energy, which is never created or destroyed. Which kind of lends to reincarnation, but that might be another thing, but definitely what we do in life.

  And those set milestones, you know, get a diploma, get a job, get a big house, nice car, have a family and kids that are nice. And that's certainly something that is good and you can look into it, but the true meaning of life and this is where it gets kind of dark there. Isn't one. It is purely what you make of a miraculous existence that you've been thrown into because no one's ever asked to be born.

They just are. But the energy for that existence is drawn from somewhere. Yes. There's conception, childbirth, all the Scientifics that you can apply to it. But if you look so much. Deeper than what may as science and that alone has a lot of gravitas. Me as science. Science is a base Foundry for everything pretty much.

But if you look further than science and just, you know, an egg or sperm and, you know, contraceptive, not contraception, um, conceiving, then you really start to look way deeper, a lot deeper. Like the chicken before the egg, which came birth and still no one really has the definitive answer to that thing.

  Now that is really interesting in who is David Eick. David Ike is someone that actually was born and raised, not too far from where I lived in England. A car thinks quite off the top of my head where it's from. It might have been, sorry, maybe Norfolk. But I was born in Leicester, share, raised in a little town called Burbage.

And I think the sky was like maybe an hour or two in a car away from where I live my whole life growing up. So now it just took a wild turn. What are you doing in America? So I actually met a girl that I knew online, did the whole internet date in thing. And between her and my wanting to leave England because of everything I had seen that growing up and I felt like there was never really a good Avenue for me to branch out into not many job opportunities, really, not a lot of anything.

There are all the manufacturing jobs were closing down because England had been in a recession for many years. And there was just no room for growth there. So between meeting her and the potential of life over here and my wanting to leave, that was kind of where that came from. Do you tell me you met a girl off tender protocol now it was back in 2013, 2014?

I believe to leave England. Yeah, the pursuit of happiness. I guess. So you, you don't have any family here, you met a girl online and you just said you're the one I'm I'm a nappy. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. It was, uh, she, uh, she came to visit England before we left. Wow. Yeah. She originally went to Wales and then came them, I say, over to England, depending if you're wild shot, now it's the same place.

  But, um, yeah, when we got together and did our little thing and you know, and we, I came over on a visa originally and then, uh, transitioned through that, paid my dues to the government, got an old uncle. Sam's got to have his current right. And, uh, basically here I am still living in America and all my paperwork up to date.

Don't come to get me and we are all good. So we did you come here on a temporary visa for a little bit, and then somehow had to go back and then the chick that you're seeing go back to Anglin. And then from there, you decided to. So originally how that was meant to play out as I was meant to go back after six months and it never happened because we got married.

Yeah. And in the state of Missouri, if you do that, it waivers the visa. Apparently, this sounds like one big green card thing going on here, but it's not a problem. Let's, let's rewind. And let's what got you into understanding how our minds pick up neuro. Would that be the frequency in our brains that is being delivered out?

  And how did you come upon this information? I think I figured it out at a very young age, probably around. Doris says four or five. And basically what that pertains to was I looked at things differently than all the others is in my classes. And I'm not really sure why, but they were so focused on doing this paperwork and pleasing the teacher.

And I would just sit there thinking about all the things taken in the day before, or. You know, little things, you know, like out of the window in the school. And I guess that's one of the reasons why they labeled me as like special needs kid in school is they put me on a statement soon after I didn't really perform to their standard in the classroom.

And, uh, it kinda just snowballed from there, but I was never really into the whole, you know, Being a part of the mainstream, even as a little child, I didn't really know what it was back then, but I knew it didn't feel right. And like, guess everything I did from that point on was more self-discovery than letting myself be in a cog in the system.

  When you say self-discovery, were you something that, that happened later on in life and you kind of just blown with the system, but lived in a different realm? Perse, you know, for me, Nate, that works at the store and it's Nate at the store, that's what people say. But the real self isn't even down to characteristics of the true self isn't, the body I'm in, it's more of infinite consciousness now.

Yeah, again, I've been inspired by David Ike for years. And a lot of this I have picked up from him and when I was younger, I really didn't understand it that nowhere near as much as I'm starting to now. And he described the life that we lead as an experience, we are infinite consciousness, living experience and.

Infinite consciousness could be predetermined as energy, which is never created or destroyed, which kind of lends to reincarnation. But that might be another thing, but definitely what we do in life. And those set milestones, you know, Get a diploma, get a job, get a big house, nice car. Having the awareness that there is life and certainly something that you can look into things.

  But the meaning of that, we don't, this is where it gets kind of dark hole there. Isn't one. I think we can understand that is surely having a love of Mirage likes this instinct to, or how do we think no one's ever asked to be born. They just are, but the energy for that resistance is drawn from somewhere that happened in the past, conception, childbirth, all the Scientifics that you can apply to it.

But if you look well so much deliberate science and alone has a lot of gravitas. Mia science, science is a base Foundry for everything pretty much. But if you look further than science and just, you know, an egg or sperm and, you know, contraceptive, not contraception, I'm conceiving, then you really start to look way deeper, a lot deeper by the book before the day.

Yeah. And still, no one really has the definitive answer to that of think. Now that. Really, I'll be sure to link a bit. First off I have five or who is David? David. Ike is someone that actually was born and raised, not too far from where I lived in England. Uh, coughing quite off the top of my head where he's from it.

  Might've been sorry. Maybe Norfolk. But I was born in Leicester, share, raised in a little town called Burbage. And I think the sky was like maybe an hour or two and a car away from where I live my whole life growing up.

What are you doing in America? So I actually met a girl that I knew online, did the whole internet date in thing. And between her and my wanting to leave England because of everything that I had seen that growing up. And I felt like there was no right branch out because. Yeah. Or to challenge somebody let's say knowledge would have another lens.

England had been in a recession and there was no room for growth there. So between meeting her and the potential of life over here and my wine to leave, that was kind of why that came. Can you tell me, you meant girl?

It was Facebook. Oh, Facebook. Yeah. Back in 2013, 2014, I believe. And that was your primary driver? Yeah, the pursuit of happiness, I guess. Very well, but

  you don't have any family here? Is that a girl? You're the one. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. It was a share. She came to visit England before we laughed. It seems like no, everybody's she originally went, nobody's going to step outside their own, say over to England, depending if you're wild Shaw, now it's the same place.

But, um, yeah, when we got together and did our own little thing and you know, and we came over on a visa originally and then, uh, transitioned through that, paid my dues to the government, got an old uncle. Sam's got to have his current right. And, uh, basically here I am still living in America and all my paperwork's up to date.

Don't come to get me and we are all good with it. So I'm going to go off.

We did you come here on a temporary visa or a little bit, and then somehow had to go back and then the kick that your theme. Go back to Anglin. And then from there, you decided to come back. Yeah. So originally how that was meant to play out as I was meant to go back after six months and it never happened because we got married.

  Yeah. And in the state of Missouri, if you do that, it waivers the visa apparent. This sounds like one big green card thing going on here, but it's not a promise. No, no, I'm curious. I heard this story. Well, what was the girl's name? Uh, wow. She went by many names on a real name's Jess in the note. What's the last name, but I'll be sure to edit this out.

Alright, bringer. Yeah, no, cause it blows my mind. Because I don't know. I was talking to the girl. It's all starting to take a picture of when we originally started out children being a blank canvas, all their parents' values passed down onto them, whether they want that or not. Is based on it indoctrination, that's the beginning process, the moment.

  And they have the self-realization to know that they're worth more and can do more. Most people find that when they're at the lowest place in life and they will question, why am I here? What am I doing? Where will I end up? It's kind of like how people in an interview will say, where do you see yourself in five years from now?

Now, um, they're talking about the system, the construct in the workplace, the real self-discovery of why you'll be years to come can only be unlocked three around self-realization. And I think a part of that is revisiting past events. I'm looking at where you are currently and having that movement, that plan, that regime to progress for the, as an individual.

Cause I have so many cons there are so many things that are going through my head that I want to take this. As far as we reach self-actualization between age 35 to 45 or even never. And that's for somebody who. Takes the appropriate steps to learn their own image that they carry. And also who others perceive them as, because what we think about ourselves and what people perceive us are two different identities.

And once we

Marker

reach that self-actualization, we understand those two factors plus our purpose, our direction, and our vision in life. And that's how we define meaning. When we come to that ultimate question. What is the meaning of life that there's so much work behind that? And that's what we have to do. We have to put in the work nature, want to leave our audience with anything?

Yeah, I would basically say no matter how you feel, when you wake up in the morning, take a second to quiet your thoughts. Don't reach straight for the farm. Don't turn on the television thing to yourself. What would I like to achieve today, analyze to yourself if it's possible and how much you can port of yourself and that effort that you have?

Into that plan. And even if you don't succeed, you do everything you can to make it happen. Because like I said before, I have everything to gain from trying and everything to lose from not trying. So no matter how bleak it may seem in the day and in the moment take life by the horns and you don't know necessarily is it's going to lead, but it'll lead somewhere and somewhere is always better than nowhere.

Nate. I appreciate you coming on to your transformation station for this weekly uplift. Absolutely man. Thank you for having me. You've been listening to your transformation station, rediscovering your true identity and purpose on this planet. We hope you enjoyed the show and we hope you've gotten some useful and practical information.

Join us weekly on Monday for the YTS challenge and biweekly on Wednesday for the exclusive interviews at 8:00 PM central time. In the meantime, connect with us on Facebook and

Instagram at. Y T S the podcast we'll be back soon until then this is your transformation station signing off.

  Check out this episode!

[presidentlauraroslin]

#3 Bobbie/Chrisjen

3. Things you said too quietly

All of her muscles still ached, her skin was still an interesting combination of her own skin color mixed with a myriad of colors ranging from dark purple to a sickly green, and she swore she could still feel the impact of landing flat on her back on the surface of Io every time she inhaled, but she was alive. The hybrid was dead and she was alive. Mars, Earth, the Belt, they were safe, for now. The pain was worth it.

The pain all seemed to be less present anyway as she lay on Chrisjen’s bunk, an arm wrapped around the smaller woman. She could feel her breathing, her hair tickling her nose, long fingers covering her own, carefully tracing the black and blue marks on Bobbie’s skin.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.” Bobbie exhaled slowly. Going after the hybrid, she had needed to do that. For her team, for her peace of mind and Chrisjen knew that. But Chrisjen had been alone on the ship, watching as Bobbie nearly died. It must have been torture. It must have been similar to what Bobbie had felt, when the Razorback’s computer had told her the bleeding in Chrisjen’s brain was becoming critical and there was nothing she could do but hope that their rescuers could save her.

“I’ll try,” she replied quietly, tightening her hold slightly. It was the best she could do.

“I can’t lose you too.” The words were whispered, almost inaudible, but Bobbie still felt as if she had been doused with cold water. She knew Chrisjen wasn’t crying. She could will the tears in her eyes not to fall, but Bobbie could still hear them in her voice. Sometimes it was easy to think that the only ones who lost people to this war were people like herself, soldiers, and their families. But as powerful as she was, it had cost Chrisjen a lot of lives before she had managed to put an end to it. Assets, colleagues, friends, Cotyar.

Bobbie curled just a little more around her. She hadn’t known the spy nearly as long as Chrisjen, but even she was mourning him. She missed him. She couldn’t promise that Chrisjen wouldn’t ever lose her as well, especially while still wearing the evidence of her latest life-risking movie, but she could be here for her now.

Somehow, Chrisjen managed to turn around in the limited space, slipping an arm underneath Bobbie’s to wrap around her ribs. She felt even smaller like this, practically clinging to Bobbie, a hand over her heart just to feel it beating. Bobbie could feel her breath against her face, felt its shakiness. Chrisjen’s voice was so soft when she spoke again, Bobbie wasn’t entirely sure she had heard it in the first place. “Don’t let go.”

Vulnerable was the only word Bobbie could think of and it wasn’t a term she liked to associate with Chrisjen. But here, right now, it was appropriate and it left Bobbie at a loss for words. She didn’t know what to do with a vulnerable Chrisjen, other than hold her close and not let go for as long as she wanted, for as long as time permitted, hold her until the next disaster, until she was the woman who was going to be in charge of Earth.

[stonesofinfinity]

Event - 002 - When the Party Ends, we fade to black.

Overview: 

As things go, this was all too good to last.

The Time Stone and the Mind Stone have finally appeared in the Soul World. The Stone Keepers have been unveiled, and Thanos’ Black Order has returned seemingly from the dead, to reclaim the stones. And they’ve brought friends!

How it works:

1. There are five stones, and five of Thanos’ Black Order baddies. Each member of the Black Order is going after one of the Stones and its keeper.

2. The characters have been paired and assigned to one of the teams protecting a specific stone. You are required to do at least one thread with your designated partner.  Threads should be tagged #soi event

3. (Optional) If your pair succeeds in fending off whatever the Black Order is throwing at them, they can try to assist the rest of the team - you are welcome to coordinate with others in the team - the Stone Keepers are going to need all the help they can get! 

4. Success is optional. You have full flexibility to fail (in whole or in part). 

You are free to:

Get your characters injured 

Get your characters killed (death is not permanent, but there will be repercussions)

Lose the Stones (there may be a further chance to get them back, and even if there isn’t, it’ll just make things more interesting down the road)

Tear up the place

Cry

Please note: Powers have been restored.

5. If your partner is on hiatus or not responding, please let the admins know - you can still take part in the event by starting threads with your own team mates! If you need to go on hiatus and don’t expect to be able to take part, please let the admins know ASAP.

6. Existing threads may still be continued. Non-event threads should be based post-event (we will try to publish the outcome of the event after about one or two weeks, so you may wish to wait for that update first).

7.  Please let the admins know what the outcomes of your efforts, preferably by 15 July so that we can update the group. (You don’t have to finish your thread before then, you can headcanon what is likely to happen.) Have fun and talk to your team mates! Discord channels have been set up. 

8. Questions, queries? Don’t hesitate to hit up the main or the admins!

(And yes, the pairings were mostly random!)

Assignments:

[ Note: Outriders are the foot soldiers that were swarming the barrier in the Battle of Wakanda: 

http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Outriders ]

Team A (Mind):  1. Leads: Tony + Mantis - Corvus Glaive 

Tony Stark was just talking with Captain America when it an invisible force began to pull him away from the Captain. Finding himself surrounded in a clearing of the Jungle with, Tony took a look around to find Corvus Glaive with Mantis held as his current prisoner. It’s when Tony notices the familiar glint of the Mind stone currently being held tightly in Mantis’ hands. Can Tony get her free, or will Mantis manage freeing herself first? Why does it seem Corvus is immune to the stone? And can the two fight him off before he can meet back up with the rest of his siblings?

[ Corvus Glaive: http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Corvus_Glaive ]

2. Peter Quill + Peter Parker

Peter Quill and Peter Parker were just hanging out and getting to know each other as brothers when suddenly it seemed as if the party had cleared out and the two were alone. Suddenly, the ground begins to rumble and a pack of Outriders begins to surround them. With Quill’s music player still blaring out his Awesome Mix volumes, will the two fight side-by-side to the beat of Hooked on a Feeling? Or will the Outriders outlast them? And can they run to the aid of Tony and Mantis in time?

3. Shuri + Charlotte   A sorcerer has appeared to haunt Shuri with illusions of her brother, T’Challa. He’s blaming her and he is angry. Using his skills to attack her and her panther, can Shuri make it out of this alive? And what about the aid of Charlotte, who just happened to be nearby when this happened and can also see the illusionist disguised as the Black Panther? Something’s gone wrong with Charlotte’s powers though – causing her to make the surface both slick and sticky in random interchanges. Can they defeat the Sorcerer and get to the aid of Tony and Mantis before it’s too late?

[ Please note that the illusion!T’challa does not have his armor, but does have his claws and is vulnerable to attacks, any other powers he may possess is up to players! ] 4. Wanda + Elektra

Wanda is no fool when it comes to illusionists so when she senses her mind being attacked – she turns on the Sorcerer immediately. What she doesn’t realize is that a herd of Outriders is sneaking up on her. Luckily for her, the master assassin Elektra was nearby and spotted them before they could get the jump on the Scarlet Witch. Can the two women fight off the sorcerer and the outriders in time to help Tony and Mantis stop Corvus?

[ The sorcerer may take form of Matt Murdock and Vision to try to overcome both Wanda and Elektra’s minds. – What powers they posses is up to players! Number of outriders are up to players! ]

Team B (Time):  1. Leads: Stephen + Rocket - Ebony Maw 

Rocket detects the new energy signature first, while calibrating some of his equipment. The Time Stone materializes unexpectedly in the scrap yard, and Rocket picks it up, when Doctor Strange’s arrival just steps behind. While they’re busy arguing over the Stone, Ebony Maw appears to take control of it.

[ Ebony Maw: http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Ebony_Maw ]

2. Vanessa + Bobby

Vanessa’s just talking to Strange when an unseen power lifts her off her feet, slamming her into Bobby and sending both of them flying into the surrounding jungle. When they regain their feet, they find themselves cornered by three frankly gigantic spiders that look like they’re out for blood. Will they be able to navigate past the spiders and go to Strange’s assistance?

[ The spiders are real, and they’ve strung up giant webs to trap the unsuspecting. What other creatures lurk on the jungle trek back to the scrap yard - or whether they can even find the scrap yard again, is up to the players. ]

3. Raven + Felicia 

Raven and Felicia are mostly minding their own business when Ebony Maw drops what feels like half the scrap yard on them, pinning them down under an unstable structure that feels like it’s going to collapse on their heads. And to make matters worse, the Outriders have sensed the trapped victims and are circling in. Will they be able to escape and help Strange to stop Maw before he gets the Time Stone?  

Team C (Power): 

1. Leads: Charles + Erik - Supergiant 

Supergiant seizes on Charles and Erik the moment she appears, attempting to take control of them, or destroy their minds if she can’t. Her objective is Charles’ stone, and if she can possess Erik, she knows that she’ll have a minion that no one will be able to stop.

[ Supergiant: http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Supergiant_(Earth-616) ]

2. Jean + Maria

Jean’s hanging out with Charles when the world seems to warp violently. Maria, seeing her in distress, runs to assist. They find themselves seemingly transported to another section of the jungle, and is that Logan and Nick Furycoming after them with murder in their eyes?

In reality, they haven’t moved from the scrap yard at all, and the illusions are really two sorcerers in disguise - but there’s nothing illusory about the fact that they’re trying their best to kill them. Will they be able to figure it out and kill the sorcerers and escape the illusion? And will they be in time to help Charles and Erik? 

[ Players can assume that Illusion!Nick has weapons and Illusion!Logan has his claws, but not his healing abilities. All other abilities are up to the players. ]

3. Peter Maximoff + Steve

Steve’s talking to Tony when the other suddenly appears to suit up and go straight for him. Peter goes to help, when both he and Steve are suddenly pinned down someone hurling large chunks of metal at them from the scrap yard - is that Erik Lehnsherr?

In reality, they haven’t moved from the scrap yard at all, and the illusions are really two sorcerers in disguise - but there’s nothing illusory about the fact that they’re trying their best to kill them. Trapped between Iron Man and Magneto, will they be able to figure it out and kill the sorcerers to escape the illusion? And will they be in time to help Charles and Erik?

[ Players can assume that Illusion!Tony has repulsor blasts, but the armour is an illusion and the sorcerer himself is not armoured. Erik’s sorcerer has the power of telekinesis and may hurl things at them.  All other abilities are up to the players. ]

Team D (Space): 

1. Leads: Loki + Scott Lang - Cull Obsidian 

The ground begins to shake and tremble, to Loki, it feels like when Hulk is walking by. Unfortunately, it’s not the Hulk – It’s Cull Obsidian, and he’s coming for the Tesseract. Lucky for Loki, Scott Lang is nearby and he immediately suits up to help the God of Mischief in what is, quite frankly, an uneven match. Will Loki and Scott work well enough together to take Cull down? Or will the Tesseract be lost to the heroes?

[ Cull Obsidian: http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Cull_Obsidian ]  2. Thor + Gamora

Thor has approached Gamora to talk to her since he’s last seen her – when both of them sense that something is off. Suddenly, the ground rumbles below them and they find themselves being pulled by a seemingly invisible force towards an entirely new part of the Soul Stone. Trapped for the time being, they begin to be plagued with a sorcerer who has illusioned themselves as Thanos, surrounded by Outriders disguised as the members of the Black Order. Will they be able to fight off the onslaught of illusions and Outriders and run to the aid of Loki and Scott? Or will they succumb?

[ please note; the sorcerer is substantially weaker than Thanos, but it does not mean it cannot pack a punch, illusion!Thanos’ powers are up to players! The illusion!Black Order has limited powers and works more like Outriders, but additional powers belonging to the original Black Order are up to players! ]

3. Natasha + Valkyrie  Formidable warriors in their own respective fields, both Natasha and Valkyrie have found themselves on the other end of the chasm that opened up when the ground began to shake and split - a chasm which is now trying to close up on them. Should they find a way up and out? Or try to get through the onslaught of Outriders trying to climb down and get them? Or will the chasm close in on them and crush them? If they do get out and can fight off the Outriders, will they be able to run to Loki and Scott’s aid in time?

Team E (Reality):  1. Leads: Grandmaster + Logan - Proxima Midnight

Proxima knows that it would be hard to take the Grandmaster on in a fight, which is why she’s brought an army of Outriders. As she moves in to circle the Grandmaster, a group of her Outriders go after a loner with his African Lion, drawing him into the fray.

[ Proxima Midnight: http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Proxima_Midnight ]

2. Ororo + Jessica

One of the drop ship for Proxima’s Outriders comes crashing down almost right on top of Ororo and Jessica in a blaze of fire. The Outriders start pouring out, if they don’t stop them, the Soul World is going to have a serious infestation problem. Will Jessica and Ororo be able to hold back the tide, or better yet, blow up the ship or trap the Outriders back in it?

[ Ship details are up to the players.]

3. Wade + Bucky 

The entire ground splits, sending them crashing down into a ravine. It’s a sheer drop, and they have the choice of trying to climb out - which may prove impossible - or try to go round. But what seems like a huge pack of Outriders is coming towards them from the other end. 

And to make matters worse, the Soul World seems to be trying close the chasm up again. Will they be able to escape being turned into glorified fossils, or will they be able to escape in time and help the Grandmaster and Logan?

[youngboy-oldmind]

ALBUM REVIEW: Revival

“It’s true, I’m a Rubik’s. A beautiful mess/At times juvenile yes. I goof and I jest/A flawed human I guess”

Detroit legend and highest-selling rapper of the decade, Eminem, releases his eighth (ninth if you count Infinite) album Revival: a project that is over hated, yet plagued with cringey lyrics, inconsistency, and an excessive runtime (77 minutes), propelling his decline and mainstream hate that’s haunted him since the late 2000s.

Overall thoughts

I say this with pain because I genuinely think this project could’ve been comparable to Jay-Z’s 4:44. Both rappers have been successful since the 90s and they both know their best is behind them. However, Jay-Z hit the mark where Eminem vastly missed. BUT, this isn’t a review of 4:44. Unfortunately, this is a review of Eminem’s controversial 2017 project: Revival.

Revival misses the mark for several reasons. First, the songs he chose for pre-release singles turned off fans from the jump. He pre-released “Walk on Water”, which captured the interest of fans who appreciate Eminem’s calmer, more introspective side. However, his second single release “Untouchable” made me hesitant to expect this album to revive Eminem’s career. This song isn’t strong enough to headline the album. At best, it’s a little annoying. And at worse, its skippable in 60 seconds. Furthermore, it was a political song, so any listeners that disagreed with his message immediately disassociated from the project.

Second, his lyricism is weak throughout the album, downright offensive at some points. Not offensive like its edgy or has shock value. Offensive like I can’t believe he made me listen to such shtty similes and metaphors. Contenders for the worst lines include but are not limited to:

“Instinctive nature to bring the anguish to the English language/ With this ink you haters get rode on (wrote on), like a piece of paper”

“I’m looking at your tight rear like a sight seer/ Your booty is heavy duty, like diarrhea”

“I just bodied the beat, so that hole must’ve been dug/Cause it just died, like food coloring does”

Along with weak metaphors, he also uses his signature play-on-words style to create painstaking lines such as

“The plan’s to bring her to my house/You’re drinking Jack and Beam, I’m thinking soon this tramp’ll lean (trampoline) so we can bounce”

“From the first time I saw you, I actually/Said to myself, ‘I gotta meet her’ (meter) like a taxi”

“I ask does she want a computer lodged in her vagina/Said my dick is an apple, she said put it inside her (in cider)”

Some of the vocal performances were painful as well. On “Chloraseptic” and “Untouchable”, he straight up lets out ridiculous drawn out yells. I have difficulty accepting that the producer of those tracks and long-time friend of Eminem, Denaun, heard him make those noises and didn’t tell him on how bad it sounds.

Third, and most importantly, Eminem’s tone is extremely inconsistent throughout the project. I wouldn’t be as critical towards the goofy songs if Eminem set and maintained one tone. He began the album with “Walk on Water”, discussing the stress of constant scrutiny and how unrealistic expectations make him doomed to fall short. This is a great topic to talk about as someone who was 18 years into his fame. But then, he begins topic ping-pong for almost an hour, switching back and forth between maturity and childishness, (with some high spots that I’ll discuss later). You cannot complain that people stress you out with high expectations, and then make songs that’s just punchlines revolving around breasts, butts, and vulgar sex.

Logic has great examples of priming your expectations and tones. He makes it clear when a project is a concept piece, like Incredible True Story or Everybody, or when he’s just having fun, like Bobby Tarantino I & II. Because Eminem keeps switching between serious songs and dumb songs, it makes everything seem disingenuous. For example, on the song “Like Home”, he basically rips Donald Trump a new one, going so far as to compare him to Hitler. But on the song “Heat” he makes a joke that he agrees with Donald Trump that women’s privates are supposed to be grabbed, which is why “they call it a snatch”. You can’t criticize the president in one song and then agree with them in the next, even if you’re joking. You can have fun songs and serious songs, but they should keep the album’s tone consistent.

Okay, I’m done criticizing, cause there are some great things about this album. “Walk on Water” was a great intro to the album. “River” is great collab between Ed Sheeran and Eminem. While the content of “Remind Me” is unremarkable, Rick Rubin delivers on the beat, creating an entertaining chorus that samples Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ “I Love Rock n Roll”. I will give credit to “Offended”, which is ambitious to say in the least. I skipped it on first listen but it actually grew on me. And of course, the final two tracks “Castle” and “Arose” are the album’s peak.

If Eminem would’ve shaved the track list to 9 songs instead of 19, weeding out the childish/forgettable songs and making it more tonally consistent, this album would be much better. My ideal Revival album would be:

1. Walk on Water

2. Believe

3. River

4. Like Home

5. Tragic Endings

6. Nowhere Fast

7. Offended

8. Castle

9. Arose

This would bring the runtime down to 40 minutes instead of 77 minutes. At 45 years old, 8 albums into his career and 18 years in the game, Eminem doesn’t have 77 minutes’ worth of material to talk about. And it shows.

I mentioned earlier that this project is over hated. Although there are things I strongly dislike about this project, it isn’t nearly as bad as media and music reviewers describe it. Two of his previous projects, Encore and Relapse, were much worse than Revival. I think it’s an exaggeration to call Revival the worst of his career, but it is definitely indication of a decline.

Album Breakdown

“Walk on Water” ignites the album with an emotional piano ballad, Beyonce’s beautiful vocals on the chorus, and Eminem’s surprisingly self-exposing verses. He talks about the pain of having a section of hip hop disregard him, while having another section constantly hold him to a standard he feels like he’ll never reach again. It’s more melodramatic than what I expect from an Eminem song, especially the dramatic pause at the beginning of the first verse where he dramatically asks “why.........?”. Seeing Eminem express vulnerability instead of constantly acting like a god gave me hope.

But then...I heard the last 5 seconds, and I knew I was in trouble.

“Cause I’m just a man/

But as long as I got a mic I’m godlike/

So me and you are not alike/

B***h, I wrote ‘Stan’”

This transitions into “Believe”, a track that carries on the topic from the previous song but establishes that he is not self-conscious and knows he’s superior in the rap game, asking the audience if THEY believe in him. It’s disappointing to see him abandon vulnerability so quickly. It took five minutes and four seconds for Eminem to backtrack and basically say “Nah, I can reach every height. You guys just need to believe in me”. Like he’s blaming critics and fans for his decline, not his skills or style. I did not care for this shift. And speaking of shifts, we hear Eminem’s first attempt at a trap beat, which sounds off with his rapping style. He’s constantly taking odd pauses to squeeze in rhyme schemes. Not the worst song, but already starting the contradictions to the initial tone of the album.

Eminem’s second attempt at a trap beat, “Chloraseptic”, was painful. I can’t sugar coat it. Half of the time I had no clue what he was saying, and the half that I could understand had no substance. He mocks Migos’ style, using adlibs, shouts, and voice bites that make him sound old and desperate to fit in modern trap music. Over his career, Eminem’s best tracks have either a rock sample or a piano melody. But this is clear evidence that very few Eminem tracks should be trap songs.

As I mentioned earlier, “Untouchable” was released early as a single. This song was painful because I knew what he was going for. So it sucks to be distracted by the subpar delivery. The rock guitars and harmonized vocals in the chorus hit my ears too hard, making me wince and decrease the volume at the chorus. Eminem’s verses have him shouting/teasing “white boy, white boy” “black boy, black boy” which is too immature for someone of his status and stature. And there’s a line in the first verse where he says “then we wonder why we see this side of youuuuuuuuuuuu”, drawing out the last word in this painful, awful voice that definitely should’ve been scrapped. In the second half of the song, the instrumental switches from a hard rock sample to a piano melody that illustrates a sense of anxiety. Also, in the last verse, he switches perspectives and talks as a black person under systematic oppression. While I appreciate the effort, it doesn’t really translate into anything emotionally because his solutions to these problems are shallow.

He talks about police brutality and systemic racial issues. The problem is it’s all surface level. Someone with his age and experience should be able to add more to the discussion. But he comes through with messages like “We need to hire black cops and stop putting cops in neighborhoods they are unfamiliar with. This country was built on slaves. It’s unfair Kaepernick got hate for kneeling during the national anthem. Racial profiling is the cause of violence”. These are things I was able to articulate as a middle schooler. But he delivers these thoughts like he’s speaking from the woke-est perspective the world’s ever seen. When in reality, there are tweets that hold more substance. And because of this, Eminem’s yelling doesn’t feel like anger. It just feels loud and misguided.

Fortunately, we then transition to one of the stronger songs on the album, “River”. He discusses a toxic relationship filled with cheating, lies, and an abortion. Eminem has always delivered good bad-relationship songs, so I’m not surprised another one is one of the best on the album. Ed Sheeran’s singing on the chorus is dope, especially at the end when the instruments drop at the end and Sheeran’s tender vocals cap off the track. Cannot complain; its easily the best track so far.

“Remind Me” is the first goofy track on the album. Eminem is taking a break from serious topics like meeting other’s expectations, success and failure, police brutality, and a devastating relationship, to talk about a girl with “implants so big” she could hang him up on her rack, with her “big ol’ tits”. This song is only tolerable because Rick Rubin’s sample was fun to hear. Otherwise, this song is unbearable.

“Like Home” is his next political song. He takes a patriotic stance while criticizing President Trump. And that’s about it. Pretty much a diss track where he spent 8 lines setting up a Hitler punchline and then calling Americans to unite against Trump. Alicia Keys sings the chorus but its nothing heart stopping. Definitely one of the more forgettable songs simply because it wasn’t painful to listen to.

The thing about bad songs or forgettable songs is that if you string too many together, they become more difficult to tolerate. So I’m coming off the heels of the annoying “Remind Me” and forgettable “Like Home”, when I get to “Bad Husband”. Here, he’s talking about how bad he was to Kim, his ex-wife. This song seems good on paper, but two things make it bad: X Ambassadors on the chorus and X Ambassadors on the chorus. X Ambassadors and Eminem do not fit well. Their loud style doesn’t fit the quiet, soft vocals that Eminem implements. It’s also hard to take Eminem’s apology seriously. On the chorus, X Ambassadors call him a 1) lord 2) good father 3) good dad 4) great father. No genuine apology contains repeated self-appraisal. Imagine if someone hits you with their car and says “Wow, I’m such a bad driver. I’m a great manager. Great parent to my kids. I donate to the local homeless shelter. And I baby sit for free. But I’m such a bad driver.” Is that really an apology?

And to that note, I’d take being hit by a car over hearing X Ambassadors on the chorus.

“Tragic Endings” picks up the album. Skylar Grey is amazing on the chorus. The entire song sounds like a sister of “Love the Way You Lie”. This talks about a toxic relationship with someone who doesn’t encourage him. I’m not surprised he once again hits a high point with a bad relationship song. Eminem’s verses are alright, and the instrumentation carries the same tragic-ness that surrounds the content of his verses. Skylar Grey and Eminem have collaborated on multiple songs over the years and they tend to compliment each other well.

Side note: There’s a curse in this album that’s wreaking havoc. After a certain number of bad songs, my appreciation for a song comes from the fact that it doesn’t make me want to take off my headphones. I’m approaching every song with “it can’t get worse than its already gotten”.

Then it got worse... “Framed”. With an instrumental possessing a western, cowboy-saloon vibe and a chorus that creates a “cowboy please shoot me in the head and end it all, this album is torture” vibe, “Framed” is a storytelling track where Eminem is framed for a murder. Apparently, some of his gruesome lyrics are so incriminating that he could be considered a suspect for a murder. Now, I love story telling tracks. One of my favorite records of all time is The Great Adventures of Slick Rick. But Eminem is too old and passed the point of his career where associating with assault, kidnapping, or murder is entertaining and/or interesting. It was shocking in 1999 when he talks about dumping his wife in a pier so he can be with his child without her interference. I would never condone that, but I was highly attentive. But 18 years later, saying you have Ivanka Trump in the back of your car is just creepy. Definitely the worst song on the album.

“Nowhere Fast” features Kehlani on the chorus and exciting violin strings that accompany Eminem’s commentary on the rap game. Kehlani is definitely talented, but I don’t think her style matches Eminem. Overall the song is middle of the road. Not horrible, not amazing.

Now that he’s dissed Trump, talked about a bad relationships, his “killer” lyrics, and the rap industry, it’s time to go back to a fun song and make more jokes about butt & boob implants. “Heat” is very similar to “Remind Me”. They both use a rock and roll sample and discuss the same shallow content. The sample isn’t as entertaining as “Remind Me”, so that makes it harder to tolerate the excessive double entendres and play on words just to illustrate offensive commentary on a woman. I try not to overuse quotes, but I had to save the worst line.

“Girl, you’re just gonna have to put them other chumps on the back burner/You got buns, I got Asperger’s (Ass burgers)”

I mentioned earlier that this next track “Offended” grew on me over time. The issue with tonally switching back and forth is it’s difficult to tell how seriously Eminem takes himself. How can I know Eminem is actually self-conscious about others’ expectations of him, when he immediately calls himself godlike and makes multiple songs about boob jobs? Here, Eminem makes it clear he is trolling and wants to offend and irritate a hater. Once I understood that, I was able to just enjoy it as a dumb track. The instrument is fun and bouncy, and the chorus is extremely childish, but purposely done so that it’s hard to criticize it seriously.

I can sum up the next two tracks, “Need Me” and “In Your Head” as forgettable. “Need Me” is another track about a toxic relationship ft. P!nk’s amazing vocals. Although the ratio of P!nk to Eminem on the song makes me think it should’ve been a P!nk song featuring Eminem. And on “In Your Head” Eminem simply describes his displeasure with past decisions, the most notable part of the song being The Cranberries sample on the chorus, which ended up being wasted on a take it or leave it track.

“Castle” comes outta left field as a MAJOR upgrade from the rest of the album. It almost feels like it belongs on a different album completely. The chorus is slow building with these subtle organ keys and a bassline where the instrumental doesn’t quite kick in but it hints at a explosion about to occur. Liz Rodrigues on the chorus helps Eminem deliver this song; a series of letters that Eminem writes to his daughter, apologizing for things in her life that are impacted by him and his decisions. They’re written in 1995, 1996, and 2007.

The first verse talks about his excitement about having a new baby daughter. The second verse talks about his failed album Infinite and how he’s not sure how he’s going to provide for them, but he’s stumbled onto an idea (The Slim Shady LP, which thrusted him into mainstream success). The third verse is in 2007, where he states his guilt for her life being thrusted in public light, his distaste for fame, his pills addiction. During that time, Eminem was suffering from drug addiction and nearly died from an overdose. The song ends with him taking pills and audibly collapsing onto the floor.

“Arose” picks up where “Castle” leaves off. Eminem talks over a piano ballad and an echo-ey drum that makes you feel like you’re in an empty dark room. Eminem is currently in the ER hooked up to life support machines, talking about the things he’ll miss if he dies in the hospital bed. Amongst other goodbyes, he tells his daughters to take care of each other and he’ll always be in their memory. Truly heart wrenching. But as he says goodbye to everybody, he suddenly fights to stay alive, his heart starts beating, and he recovers. As he recovers, he mentions rewinding the tape of time. Rewinding to before he made the mistake of overdosing.

Then, in an expert display of technical skill and creativity, the track rewinds to the instrumental for “Castle”, and Eminem delivers a final verse that has a much more “onward and forward”, positive outlook. It brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it. He describes shredding the old letters and not letting the past hold him back. And that the first half of the song is what he would’ve wrote to his daughters if he had made it 2 hours later to the hospital, which is about how long the doctor said he would’ve lived if he hadn’t checked in. In this masterpiece of a closer, Eminem connects back to the concept of reviving. Without question, the best song on the album and the best outro of any Eminem album

Final Thoughts

The Intro “Walk on Water” and outros “Castle”/”Arose” feel like they belong on a completely separate album; they’re totally different from the tracks that encompassed the middle. So while those three are great, the album ultimately suffers from inconsistent themes and messages. If Eminem would’ve stuck with vulnerability and maturity, this album would’ve been great. Overall, the project isn’t horrible. But besides the few high points, I’m disappointed.

Top 3 Songs:

1) Arose

2) Castle

3) River

Overall Grade: C-

[welcomerandumbness]

Morning guys! Say hi to Amber Peoples!! One of the many talented illustrator and so very sweet. Heres more about her!

Afternoon! I guess to start off, I am a Chicagoland Illustrator & Concept Artist that focuses a lot on afrocentric themes that can range from black love, community empowerment to more spiritual themes.

1.) What made you interested in the art community?

What made me interested is hard to say! I felt it has been one of those things I never had the choice of deciding because it was always there with me, I just needed to take that first serious step but as I got to a certain age, my steps became more focused as I realize I wanted to make profound messages heard—to make statements that I know would hit home, ranging from political to spiritual. I wanted to become to ultimate visual writer to make other see how I see. From the controversial to the simple everyday things that we take for granted often.

2.) How long ago did you start?

I’ve been creating all my life but I began to take things more seriously 10 years ago which was also a very vulnerable time as I first entered college life and was still questioning my future career path.

3.) Any artists that you took an interest in?

Way too many to name but some of my most inspirational ones are Qinni, Mshindo Kuumba, Kevin Wak Williams, Aaron Blaise and Bobby Chiu.

4.) What sort of pieces are you working on now?

Aside from regular commissions and a private ongoing comic project I have going on, I have some political and black love pieces in the works.

5.) Any conventions you plan on visiting any time soon?

No cons anytime soon but I’m very interested to see where I can get into next year!

6.) What does your art mean to you compared to what others say it means to them?

I always considered my art an extension of my heart and soul( as cheesy as that sounds) and while many may pay more attention to my work at surface value, the beautiful details and mood—at the same time I’d like to think, I’m revealing a parts of myself; like a personal thought from my diary.

7.) Have you thought of animating any work of yours?

I’ve thought about it, like animating a single image but not to the point of an animated series or anything. I love animation; just too draining for me personally.

8.) Have you drawn anything to share with your audience about what’s going on now with the KKK and Alt-Right?

I’ve considered it, especially pertaining to the current events and one of the pieces I’m working on now relates to theme actually!

9.) Any advice for those looking to follow your path and looking for reassurance?

As far as advice, I have a couple I try to stress all the time to upcoming creatives:

1. Embrace each small step and failure; as with life, you’re going to hit low points and question a lot of things; it’s inevitable but the mind is an insanely powerful thing so learn to find those lessons for each drawback—those will help you to get stronger and more intuitive in your creative process .

2. Don’t compare yourself to other artists! One of the worst ways to sabotage yourself and fall behind. Everyone has their own path and different timings; even the greatest artist you envy was a novice so be your own competition in the end.

3. Love what you do over the amount of support you want because your passion for what you love will keep you going even when you have moments of not being noticing enough. It takes TIME which passes by much faster than you think.

4. One more thing I’d like to mention is to have a support system and join a community/group that you know will be nothing but encouraging and help you grow. I’ve realized having the right people in your circle to fall back on— on your worst days is so beneficial for growth.

10.) What types of mediums do you use and you enjoy using?

I’ve used just about every medium except oils but my 2 favorite ones are digital and watercolor!

Don’t forget to follow Amber and enjoy as well as purchase some 😀

SquareSpace: https://apillustrator.squarespace.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ap_illustr/

[thesydneyfeminists]

“Queer Eye” Breaks Down Toxic Masculinity Culture

Since its release in February 2018, the Netflix reboot of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” has been all over the media. Like any pop culture fad, the show has received both raving reviews and ruthless criticisms. On its surface, “Queer Eye” is a fun, feel-good show with just the perfect amount of “edge” for its target audience. There’s a heavy focus on personal transformation, teachable moments, community building and self-love/ care. The cast is comprised of five gay men who each handle one aspect of these transformations: fashion, food, home, culture, and personal grooming. Personally, the show strikes an emotional cord for me. I’m a sucker for the exact kind of sappy, optimistic messages the show portrays. Plus, I’ve enjoyed watching the show and its main cast grow and adapt over three, short seasons. “Queer Eye” is easily bingeable, takes my mind off the doom and gloom of the world and fans a small flicker of hope that whispers, “we can change the world by helping one another.” Still, in researching this article, I found plenty of articles illuminating flaws in the show I never would have seen otherwise. These faults range broadly but include the capitalistic and materialistic basis of the show, the mistreatment of cast members, and the general “unqueerness” of a show with the word “queer” in its very name. All these points are valid, and I will link some sources at the end of my piece that flesh out these criticisms in more depth and nuance. Today, though, I want to apply a feminist lens to one particular aspect of “Queer Eye,” and that’s toxic masculinity.  

Image Description: Photo of the Fab Five against a plain, white backdrop. Tan is on the far left, wearing a black, long sleeve, collared shirt with large white polka dots and dark blue jeans. His arms are crossed in front of his chest and he is looking into the camera with a very slight smile. Bobby is standing to the right of Tan, wearing a black tshirt, black pants, and a light grey blazer. His body is angled towards Tan and his right hand is in his pocket. He is also looking directly at the camera with a neutral expression. Jonathan is in the center, wearing a white tshirt, dark blue pants and a blue jean jacket. His back is to Bobby and his hands are wrapped around Antoni’s arm. He is looking into the camera with a neutral expression. Antoni is to the right of Jonathan, wearing a grey tshirt, white jeans and a dark brown leather jacket. His left arm is wrapped around Karamo’s shoulder. He is looking at the camera with a neutral expression. Karamo is on the far right. He is wearing a dark blue tshirt and dark blue, velvet blazer with dark wash jeans. His right hand is in his pocket and he is also looking at the camera with a neutral expression. Image Source:  https://variety.com/2018/tv/features/queer-eye-emmys-reality-conversation-contenders-1202843269/

“Queer Eye” takes place in the deep south of the United States, a place with a reputation for racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia and ableism. The show and its cast attempt to grapple with many of these topics. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail. Some of the failures are teachable moments. Others aren’t. One of the structural issues “Queer Eye” confronts fairly well and directly is toxic masculinity. Unlike the original show, not every episode the reboot features a cishet man. I very much appreciate how the Fab Five branch out to include more diverse people in the second and third seasons. For example, “Black Girl Magic” is probably one of the most memorable and well done of the episodes on the show. Another personal favorite is when the Fab Five help a young man “come out of the closet” for the first time. However, in many of the episodes, “Queer Eye uses gay men to unleash traditionally feminine qualities in masculine blokes to redefine what all of those things even mean” (https://www.redonline.co.uk/red-women/blogs/a531752/laura-jane-williams-queer-eye-feminist/). In doing so, the Fab Five actively deconstruct toxic masculinity and embody feminist activism. They show up, communicate with their fellow men and make them question what it means to “be a man.” And, for the most part, the men listen. Partially because it’s a TV show, of course, and they have to listen. But also, partially because the Fab Five have access to and constructively use their male privilege. They show how all prospective allies should use their various privileges: to call out toxic behaviors and help people who are willing to unlearn them.

Image Description: Photo of someone holding a sign up in front of some city buildings and trees. The sign reads “You can be masculine without being Toxic bro. #truthtopower.” It is written in mostly black letters on a white background. The words “you can” are outlined in bright pink. The word “masculine” is underlined in red. The word toxic is written in green, outlined in bright orange and underlined in red. “#truthtopower” is written in red. You can’t see much of the person holding the sign, except the top of their head and their hand/ forearm. They are wearing a grey baseball cap and a camouflage shirt. Image Source: https://theconversation.com/the-real-problem-with-toxic-masculinity-is-that-it-assumes-there-is-only-one-way-of-being-a-man-110305

Over the course of a week, the Fab Five teach the cishet men on their show fairly basic life lessons – how to properly groom themselves, cook a meal, decorate their house, etc. They very clearly don’t believe in the “one size fits all” model and thoughtfully tailor their lessons to the individual. The underlying moral of these interactions is the value of vulnerability. For example, in one episode, Antoni teaches a widower how to prepare a proper meal for his two young sons. Since the death of his wife, Rob Elrod struggled to prepare healthy meals for himself and his family. So, Antoni’s cooking lesson is a learning moment about food, but also about how to be the best possible parental figure to young boys. Throughout this episode, viewers see a tender, loving, yet flawed father. By the end of the episode, we are left hoping his continued relationship with his sons will be better because of the Fab Five. As another blogger suggests, “That’s the thing about toxic masculinity — it’s not just the unconscious belief that having your own style and enjoying refined pleasures of the senses makes you less masculine, it’s the belief that vulnerability in any form makes you less masculine and, therefore, less of a valuable human being” (https://medium.com/s/pop-feminism/queer-eye-for-the-male-victims-of-toxic-masculinity-cdcdad02730d). And if I had to choose one word to describe the very heart of “Queer Eye,” it would be “vulnerability.” Not only do the Fab Five cultivate this vulnerability with the men they makeover, but they show it themselves as well. And, in doing so, they invite the audience to share in these moments of opening up.

Image Description: Screenshot of a tweet by user andi zeisler (@andizeisler). Tweet  reads “general periodic reminder: the term ‘toxic masculinity’ does not mean ‘all men are toxic.’ It refers to cultural norms that equate masculinity with control, aggression, and violence and that label emotion, compassion, and empathy ‘unmanly.’” The tweet has been liked 20,166 times and retweeted 7,792 times. It was published on the 15th of February, 2018. Image Source: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1348005-toxic-masculinity via @andizeisler’s twitter account. 

I wish “Queer Eye” could be mandated viewing for all cishet men. But that’s one of the main problems with the show. The audience it attracts is not the audience that truly needs to watch it. There isn’t much hard data to support my hypothesis. But, if you tune into internet conversations about “Queer Eye”, it’s clear the majority of viewers are not cishet men. The show seems to attract a large LGBTQIA+ fandom, probably because wholesome representation of any kind is so difficult to come by for us. Otherwise, the target audience appears to be young(ish), upper middle class, white people. It definitely does not include the very demographic of men that so desperately needs to hear the lessons “Queer Eye” teaches. The result is a warm and fuzzy TV show catered very specifically to people who already know the dangers of toxic masculinity. For the length of an episode, we get to sit back and be proud of ourselves for simply understanding that deconstructing toxic masculinity is critical work. Furthermore, “Queer Eye” so often puts the burden of transformation on those with marginalized identities. As one writer quotes, “Queer Eye suggests we can all get along, if only half of us would just be super-duper nice and patient with the other half” (https://slate.com/culture/2018/02/netflixs-queer-eye-reviewed.html). The Fab Five are thus both a beacon of hope and a reminder that the darkness is still ever so present. Still, if nothing else, “Queer Eye” reinforces the importance of representation and suggests the possibility of a world without toxic masculinity. The Fab Five very clearly care about people, and their palpable labors of love alone make the show worth watching.  

By: Brittany L.

Sources

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/02/why-queer-eyes-common-ground-message-fails-in-2018.html

https://slate.com/culture/2018/02/netflixs-queer-eye-reviewed.html

https://theestablishment.co/the-not-so-secret-materialism-of-queer-eye/

https://www.indiewire.com/2018/03/queer-eye-netflix-not-queer-1201932107/

https://www.them.us/story/skyler-jay-reveals-his-true-feelings-on-queer-eyes-trans-makeover-episode

https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/queer-eye-cutting-room-floor

https://www.bustle.com/p/queer-eye-season-2-exposes-the-fab-fives-flaws-but-thats-the-point-9394381

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/06/queer-eye-season-2-review/562883/

https://www.redonline.co.uk/red-women/blogs/a531752/laura-jane-williams-queer-eye-feminist/

https://medium.com/s/pop-feminism/queer-eye-for-the-male-victims-of-toxic-masculinity-cdcdad02730d

[biofunmy]

The New Spiritual Consumerism – The New York Times

How did you spend your summer vacation? I spent mine in a dissociative fugue of materialist excess, lying prone on my couch and watching all four seasons of “Queer Eye,” the Netflix makeover show reboot. Once an hour, I briefly regained consciousness to feverishly click the “next episode” button so that I wouldn’t have to wait five seconds for it to play automatically. Even when I closed my laptop, the theme song played on endless loop as Jonathan Van Ness vogued through my subconscious. The show is a triumph of consumer spectacle, and now it has consumed me, too.

Every episode is the same. Five queer experts in various aesthetic practices conspire to make over some helpless individual. Tan France (fashion) teaches him to tuck the front of his shirt into his pants; Bobby Berk (design) paints his walls black and plants a fiddle-leaf fig; Antoni Porowski (food) shows him how to cut an avocado; Jonathan Van Ness (grooming) shouts personal affirmations while shaping his beard; and Karamo Brown (“culture”) stages some kind of trust-building exercise that doubles as an amateur therapy session. Then, they retreat to a chic loft, pass around celebratory cocktails and watch a video of their subject attempting to maintain his new and superior lifestyle. The makeover squad cries, and if you are human, you cry too.

Because “Queer Eye” is not just a makeover. As its gurus lead the men (and occasionally, women) in dabbing on eye cream, selecting West Elm furniture, preparing squid-ink risotto and acquiring gym memberships, they are building the metaphorical framework for an internal transformation. Their salves penetrate the skin barrier to soothe loneliness, anxiety, depression, grief, low self-esteem, absentee parenting and hoarding tendencies. The makeover is styled as an almost spiritual conversion. It’s the meaning of life as divined through upgraded consumer choices.

Just a few years ago, American culture was embracing its surface delights with a nihilistic zeal. Its reality queens were the Kardashians, a family that became rich and famous through branding its own wealth and fame. “Generation Wealth,” Lauren Greenfield’s 2018 documentary on American excess, captured portraits of people who crave luxury, beauty and cash as ends in and of themselves. Donald Trump, the king of 1980s extravagance, was elected president.

But lately American materialism is debuting a new look. Shopping, decorating, grooming and sculpting are now jumping with meaning. And a purchase need not have any explicit social byproduct — the materials eco-friendly, or the proceeds donated to charity — to be weighted with significance. Pampering itself has taken on a spiritual urgency.

Practitioners of this new style often locate its intellectual underpinnings in the work of Audre Lorde. But when Lorde wrote, in her 1988 essay “A Burst of Light,” that “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare,” she was speaking in the context of managing her liver cancer — and doing it as a black lesbian whose health and well-being were not prioritized in America.

Now the ethos of “self-care” has infiltrated every consumer category. The logic of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s luxury brand that sells skin serums infused with the branding of intuition, karma and healing, is being reproduced on an enormous scale.

Women’s shoes, bras, razors, tampons and exclusive private clubs are stamped with the language of empowerment. SoulCycle and Equinox conceive of exercise as not just a lifestyle but a closely held identity, which backfired when some members were aggrieved by the news that the chairman of the brands’ parent company is a financial supporter of President Trump. Therapy memes imagine mental health professionals prescribing consumerist fixes, which are then repurposed by beauty brands. Even Kim Kardashian West is pivoting to the soul: Her latest project is launching a celebrity church with her husband, Kanye West.

And through the cleaning guru Marie Kondo, who also became a Netflix personality this year, even tidying objects can be considered a spiritual calling. Her work suggests that objects don’t just make us feel good — objects feel things, too. She writes of old books that must be woken up with a brush of the fingertips and socks that sigh with relief at being properly folded.

“Queer Eye” has further elevated material comforts into an almost political stance. When the reboot of the original — which ran on Bravo from 2003 to 2007, as “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” — debuted last year, Netflix announced that it intended to “make America fabulous again” by sending its crew deep into the red states to “turn them pink.” By preaching self-care to the men of Middle America — it has so far plucked its makeover subjects from Georgia, Missouri and Kansas — the show would heal the nation itself through the power of stuff.

Is “Queer Eye” a political show? In a sense, yes. Van Ness, the show’s profoundly magnetic grooming expert, rocks a signature look of a Jesus beard, mermaid hair, painted nails and high-heeled booties. His fashion and grooming choices have an obvious political valence; he recently came out as non-binary. When he makes over some straight dude, it is as if he is imbuing the process with his own transgressive identity, even if he’s grooming the guy into a standard-issue cool dad.

Anyway, it’s wonderful to watch. In contrast, the original “Queer Eye” no longer goes down so easy. The show’s exclusive focus on providing men with physical upgrades now plays as cynical. The Fab Five ridicule their marks as much as they help them. More than a decade before same-sex marriage would be legalized across the United States, these five out gay men were quite obviously punching up.

But in the new version, the power dynamic has flipped. The difference between the Fab Five and their charges is no longer chiefly one of sexual orientation or gender identity. (This “Queer Eye” also provides makeovers to gay men and to women.) The clear but unspoken distinction is a class one.

The “Queer Eye” cast may come from humble beginnings, but they now reside in coastal cultural centers and hold fulfilling and lucrative jobs. Their makeover subjects are lower- and middle-class people who are, though it is rarely put this way, struggling financially. This “Queer Eye” handles them gently. As Van Ness puts it in one episode: “We’re nonjudgmental queens.”

It’s a little bit curious that as our political discourse is concerned with economic inequality — and the soaring costs of health care, education and homes — the cultural conversation is fixated on the healing powers of luxury items. What does it mean, that materialism is now so meaningful? “Generation Wealth” posits that extreme spending is a symptom of a civilization in decline. Americans may not have what they need, but at least they can get what they want, even if it’s on credit.

The writer and performer Amanda-Faye Jimenez recently posted a meme to Instagram of a child swinging blithely on the playground as a fire rages in the forest behind him. The forest is tagged: “My personal life and career.” The child: “The skincare routine.”

Material comforts are comforting: cooking a nice and interesting meal; living in a tidy and beautiful space; soothing tired eyes with a cool mask. And money helps you get money: The subjects of “Queer Eye” are typically made over in a standard professional style, as if they are being retrofitted for the work force. Surreptitiously, “Queer Eye” provides vacation time, too: Its subjects somehow receive a week off from work to focus on themselves.

The trouble is that when “Queer Eye” offers these comforts, the show implies that its subjects have previously lacked them because of some personal failure. They have been insufficiently confident, skilled, self-aware, dedicated or emotionally vulnerable. The spiritual conversion of the show occurs when the subject pledges a personal commitment to maintaining a new lifestyle going forward. But what these people need is not a new perspective. They need money, and they need time, which is money.

“Queer Eye” offers a kind of simulation of wealth redistribution. But every time the Fab Five retreats from the scene, I imagine the freshly-painted homes slowly falling into disrepair, the beards growing shaggy again, the refrigerators emptying.

In the fourth season, which dropped last month, the team makes over a single dad from Kansas City who is known as “the cat suit guy” because he wears feline print onesies to local sporting events. By the end, he gets a new corporate casual wardrobe, and a pop-up support network for his depression — he struggled to discuss it with anyone until the cast of “Queer Eye” broke through his shell.

As they prepare to leave, he tells them that he really needs them to stay in touch. “You’ve got to check on me,” he says. Absolutely, one of them says: “On Instagram.”

Sahred From Source link Arts

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[linabrigette]

Ripple CTO Claims XRP Eliminates PoW Risks Seen in Ethereum Classic’s 51% Attack

Ripple Labs has long been a polarizing startup in the cryptosphere. Case in point, the San Francisco-headquartered company, started by Stellar Development Foundation Mt.Gox co-founder Jed McCaleb, is often bashed for being in bed with centralized financial entities — what Bitcoin was created to destroy. Moreover, many believe that the XRP digital asset is centralized, controlled by puppet masters at the fintech firm.

However, David Schwartz, the chief technology officer at Ripple, has claimed that his firm’s protocols actually have their benefits. Schwartz’s controversial comments come after the Ethereum Classic blockchain was attacked by an unnamed group/user.

Related Reading: Ripple Exec: Crypto Technology Needs Improvement Before Adoption

Ripple CTO Bashes Ethereum Classic’s PoW, Praises XRP Ledger

The crypto industry en bloc was shocked on Monday, as a damning Coinbase blog post surfaced. Per previous NewsBTC reports, Mark Nesbitt, a security engineer at the world-renowned startup, divulged that Coinbase detected a number of deep chain reorganizations (reorgs) on the Ethereum Classic network. Upon further analysis of the reorgs, Coinbase determined that an unnamed malicious user was leveraging rented hashpower to double spend ETC. And as such, the firm was mandated to shut down trading operations for the asset.

After a deep-dive of this industry event, which went under the radar for over 24 hours, Coinbase’s engineers discovered that upwards of 88,500 ETC, which amounts to a fiat sum of ~$450,000, were falsely deposited on the OkEX exchange.

As this news broke, reaching the eyes and ears of cryptocurrency commentators across the globe, Twitter quickly erupted in a frenzied clamor. Tim Swanson, a leading American technology guru with vested interests in crypto-related firms, took the time to state that by design, Proof of Work (PoW) chains “cannot guarantee settlement finality.”

Litecoin creator Charlie Lee took the time to caution his followers, stating that coins that aren’t dominant in their respective consensus mechanisms (Ethash for Ethereum Classic) are susceptible to attack. Lee then drew attention to NiceHash, a mining marketplace, to prove his point, noting that it would cost a mere $5,000 to attack the ETC for an hour.

While the aforementioned comments were expected, what was unexpected was the response that the so-called “XRP Army” had to this industry occurrence. Not only did Ripple’s biggest fans claim that the multiple reorgs of the ETC chain were a win for XRP, but so did David Schwartz, the aforementioned member of Ripple’s top brass.

Citing the Coinbase exposé piece, Schwartz noted that the XRP Ledger isn’t susceptible to double spend attacks, as its “distributed agreement protocol” eliminates that risk. For those who missed the memo, XRP’s consensus mechanism is vastly different from the PoW schemes that networks like Bitcoin utilize, as validators and tracking servers maintain the ledger without mining.

Another PoW blockchain suffers a double spend attack, this time ETC. XRP Ledger’s distributed agreement protocol eliminates this risk.https://t.co/RQBEWAXmRD

— David Schwartz (@JoelKatz) January 7, 2019

This pro-Ripple statement should come as no surprise, especially considering that Schwartz is an obvious advocate for the network he builds on.

Schwartz’s brief statement on the matter quickly became a rallying cry for Ripple’s most fervent fans, with Twitter accounts bearing “XRP” in their names quickly lauding their favorite asset, while bashing PoW networks. While there were hundreds backing the third most valuable cryptocurrency by market capitalization, skeptics were quick to debunk this newfound love for Ripple.

Skepticism Ensues

Rob “Crypto Bobby” Paone, a skeptic of XRP’s status in this industry, touched on the discussion that XRP is better than its PoW counterparts in a recent Youtube video. Addressing the topic with skepticism and hilarity, Paone, a growth advisor at Mike Novogratz-backed Airswap, noted:

“If you’re an XRP fan, you can certainly say ‘hey Coinbase, you listed Ethereum Classic that got 51% attacked, so it has proven [itself] to be not secure.’ But, on the other end [of the spectrum], maybe [the Ripple ledger] is very vulnerable to government, regulators, and things of that nature, due to the potential centralized nature of it.”

The seasoned industry commentator wasn’t alone in his cynicism. Far from, in fact. Gab.com, a pro-crypto social media platform built around the premise of free speech, quipped that if Ripple Labs can freeze funds, whenever and for whatever reason, there’s a chance you might have a “scamcoin on your hands that isn’t decentralized.”

Pro tip: if Ripple Labs can freeze your funds at anytime for any reason you might have a scamcoin on your hands that isn’t decentralized.

Might as well just open a normal bank account lol.

— Gab.com (@getongab) January 7, 2019

Gab, which is no stranger to financial censorship, added that considering Ripple’s purported control over its go-to ledger, you might as well open up a traditional bank account. Via the medium of another inflammatory tweet, the American startup, known for its enamorment with Bitcoin, later noted that XRP is only great if you trust Ripple Labs.

One Twitter user commented that the XRP can be 51% attacked when a “few board members agree on something,” accentuating the centralized nature of the company behind the shadowed ledger.

However, in a recent questionnaire, Ripple’s CEO, Brad Garlinghouse, has claimed that this critique is fundamentally false. Speaking with Monica Long, one of Ripple’s Senior Vice Presidents, Garlinghouse noted that “people are going to spread their FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt),” adding that there is much misinformation regarding XRP’s status and underlying nature.

The chief quipped that due to the presence of misinformation, those misaligned may continue to “engage in whatever zealotry [they want].” Yet, in quick succession, Ripple’s c-suite head noted that “by many measures, the XRP Ledger is more decentralized than Bitcoin.” He went on to elaborate:

“Ripple runs seven validators, [which is] about four percent of [all] public validators… On the Bitcoin ledger or Ethereum ledger, you have a very small number of miners controlling, you know, well past 50% of [the] mining power.”

This, of course, came straight out of the mouth of Ripple’s very own head. Regardless, a number of XRP diehards have incessantly used comments from Garlinghouse and Schwartz to bash traditional cryptocurrencies over the head.

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