#sometimes it goes to a new tempo and sometimes it goes back to the previous tempo again. like in eleven! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theprophetsaid · 3 years

Text

I’M SCARED - ANALYSIS

While Another World will live rent-free in my head forever, I’m Scared makes me want to scream. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but I know that I had to do an analysis of this one as well.

Disclaimer: I’m not telling you what to think. I’m writing my analysis based on how the song is presented. You are free to make up your own mind about it.

Part I: This is personal

Since I can’t find an interview where Brian talks about I’m Scared, I’ll discuss how he sees himself as a songwriter and how that influences the song. In an interview about his album Back To The Light, Brian says:

"(...) I can only function if a song means something to me regarding human relationships. I like to write about things that are personal, rather than about politics and other wider issues.”

He labels himself as a personal writer who, above all else, writes about human relationships. That is important in the context of I’m Scared, as it allows me to assume that the voice in the song belongs to himself, not a made up character.

Brian worked on this album during a period of massive emotional turmoil for him, while he was struggling with his mental health and thought his life was in ruins. That, as you will see, also relates to this specific song.

Edit / addition:

Since writing this analysis I’ve come across an interview where Brian (very briefly) talks about the song: GW: "I'm Scared" is an interesting one.

MAY: Yeah, that goes back a long way. I kept doing different versions of that, as I kept finding out that I was scared of more and more things. And I figured that most of us are. We just keep it inside. I think it's good to let all that stuff out sometimes. Do a bit of screaming. — Guitar World Magazine, January 1993.

Here, Brian says that the song took a long time to write, but he also “confirms” that it’s about his own fears. In other words, this song is about himself.

Furthermore, Brian has revealed (on his live stream last week) that ‘I’m Scared’ is the first song he wrote for the album. Do what you will with that information.

With all of this in mind, I’ll break down the lyrics and the story that they tell.

—

Part II: The Story

You take me to the party You put me on the stand You're pumping up my heart To the beating of the band You toss it in the air And you don't care where it lands You take it, you break it You're hurting me There’s a clear dynamic set up here. There’s a ‘me’ (Brian, presumably) and a ‘you’ (someone else), but this dynamic is framed in a certain way right off the bat because the person he’s with is doing everything, and doing them to Brian (’You take me to the party’; ‘You put me on the stand).

The phrase, ‘Pumping up my heart’ seems to be a metaphor for attraction and the heart-racing sensation that it often causes. Then after ‘pumping up [Brian’s] heart’, this person carelessly plays with it and breaks it, hurting him. This person that he’s with is in control while Brian is presented as passive and, frankly, rather powerless in comparison.

Because I wasn't prepared I couldn't go where you dared You got my whole soul bared I never knew that you cared (No it just ain't fair) I’m scared (x13)

This chorus more or less explains the imbalance in control by implying that it relates to bravery. Brian doesn’t consider himself as daring as the other person, which would make him less able/likely to take control in the dynamic.

Also, ‘you got my whole soul bared’ is interesting because it implies that this person understands Brian on an intimate level in spite of him not opening up; Brian didn’t intentionally bare his soul to them but they can somehow see it regardless.

You take me out to dinner And you swallow me whole You're nothing but a sinner With a dark black soul I figured I could handle you But I'm just a toy You're getting bolder and bolder You're just a bad bad boy

This verse is the game-changer. It describes that Brian went out to dinner with whoever this person is. The difference in bravery/control between them is consistent, but the metaphors that describe the dynamic here are not emotional as they are in the first verse. They are sexual. ‘You swallow me whole’, ‘sinner’, and ‘toy’ have those clear connotations, which heavily implies that there is a sexual aspect to this dynamic.

(Moreover, being swallowed whole alludes to a... very specific sexual act and I frankly don’t know what to do with that information, but I’ll leave it here: It’s a blowjob, folks.)

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we? It’s that last line. It changes everything about this song.

Brian is singing about a man.

The ‘you’ is explicitly gendered as male. That is non-debatable. Moreover, gendering the ‘you’ in this verse, specifically, is a bold move because it includes so much sexual language. Brian describing himself as this man’s toy, singing about being ‘swallowed whole’ and being unable to handle him... It alludes to a sexual relationship, and I didn’t read into that. That’s just how it’s presented.

What you staring at You're such a scaredy cat When I know that I just can't fight it So what you staring at You're such a scaredy cat Because I'm only scared that maybe I might like it

Edit / Section changed due to new interpretation:

This bridge is interesting mostly because of the way Brian sings it. The bolded lines are sung in a tone that’s different from that of the unbolded ones. It creates the feeling of two people speaking to each other. This makes even more sense when you look at the lines themselves. “What you staring at, you’re such a scaredy-cat” seems like a taunt, whereas “When I know I just can’t fight it” and “Because I’m only scared that maybe I might like it” are framed like responses to this taunt. This paints a picture of the man taunting Brian for staring/being scared, and Brian “responding” to this with the bolded lines.

Now, as far as the meaning behind the bolded lines goes, the ‘it’ is unspecific. However, when you view them in the context of the previous verse, which has a very sexual tone, I think it’s safe to assume what it is that he can’t fight. What he’s scared of liking. It’s about attraction, and it’s about sex.

After this fear of ‘maybe liking it’ has been sung, the song breaks off into a section in which Brian sings about everything that frightens him. When you listen to the recording, the fears are thrown at you in a rapid pace and it’s difficult to hear them as they pan from ear to ear, but here are some of them:

I'm scared to change, I'm scared to stay the same I'm so scared I want to die I'm scared of dying I'm scared of my thoughts I'm scared of being found out

The bolded fear ‘I’m scared of being found out’ is the last thing you hear when you listen to the song because Brian screams it; it’s louder than anything else. But overall this whole section is a major red flag for his mental health deteriorating; it presents fear as a constant whirl in his mind. Each fear seems to produce yet another fear until it becomes a spiral of sorts.

(Interestingly, the spiral seems to grow out of his fear of ‘maybe liking it’.)

Following this section, the lyrics jump back to the story of Brian and the other man:

You take me to the limit You take me to the brink You left me with the blues When you found me in the pink You know just what you're saying But your metaphors stink I gotta lick it,or stick it Or this is the end

Edit / section changed due to new interpretation:

As we return to the verse structure, we also return to the dynamic, with the lines “You take me to the limit, you take me to the brink.” These illustrate that the man has taken Brian to “his limit”, probably emotionally, and “to the brink,” which, again… if you look at it in relation to the language and connotations of the previous verse… it can be seen as a, um, sexual brink, if you know what I mean.

“You left me with the blues when you found me in the pink”. As @iwilltrytobereasonable pointed out in the comments, in the pink is an old metaphor for being in your optimal state of health and wellbeing. The blues is a self-explanatory contrast to that. To me, this line is Brian saying, “You met me at a time where I was doing well but, because of what you did to me, I’m now depressed. So fuck you.”

Now, “I gotta lick it or stick it, or this is the end” is still mysterious to me, but as someone pointed out in the comments, it might be a form of ultimatum. Because this dynamic is written as sexual, I’m gonna assume that the ultimatum is, too. Since Brian “couldn’t go” where the other man dared, does this refer back to that? Was he given the option to either “lick it” or “stick it”, but couldn’t go there so it just ended? To me, that makes the most sense.

The Hidden Lyric:

Before I move onto the melody, there’s one last thing that I want to talk about, which is a hidden lyric toward the end of the track. By “hidden” I mean that it wasn’t included on the lyric sheet, but you can hear it, muffled in the background. As Brian sings, “I’m scared, I’m scared” repeatedly, there’s a single time where you can hear him quickly yell “Maybe I’m wrong!” afterward.

So the hidden lyric is:

I’m scared (Maybe I’m wrong!)

And… this line kills me because, keeping everything in mind about the narrative of this song and the emotions that it discusses… What might Brian be wrong about?? And why does that scare him so badly?? I think it’s pretty self-explanatory but it seems to be an acknowledgement that he might be wrong… about himself.

With all of That out of the way, I want to end by discussing the melody of the song quickly.

—

Section III: The Melody

If you read the lyrics to this song before listening to it, chances are that you’re gonna be thrown off as soon as you press ‘play’ because the melody and overall tempo of the song does not match the content of the lyrics at all. It’s a fast-paced, guitar-heavy beat that makes your head spin. The singing is aggressive and full of confidence, which immediately diminishes the heavy words that are coming out of Brian’s mouth.

Because the beat is so overwhelming, Brian can sing ‘I’m scared’ about 50 times (or more, I haven’t actually counted) in the song and it won’t really land because the rhythm is too distracting. The rhythm tells you something else, it says, ‘bang your head and forget about it’

I definitely find it alarming that he sings about such intense fear in a nonchalant way, in a way that almost forces the listener to look past it. Why would Brian choose to do this? I dare suggest that it is to present this song as the ultimate case of irony. It’s as if he’s saying, ‘I’m pouring my heart out to you and you don’t even notice because I’m singing like everything’s fine. I’m pretending that everything is fine.”

—

Final Thoughts:

So, why does this song make me want to scream?

Well, I think that should be obvious by now. I know this analysis could make some people uncomfortable but, frankly, I don’t care. I don’t think it’s appropriate to ignore the obvious implications of the song’s narrative simply because we don’t want to question what we think we know about Brian’s sexuality. The fact of the matter is that I’m Scared is about a man, and not only that, it is intentionally sexual in tone. That, I think, is non-debatable. What it means, well... As I said, you are free to ponder that on your own.

#let's be honest i could write a thesis on this song #not tagging this post because i don't think i should put it in the tags #but please feel free to reblog and like and comment if you want :)#or better yet: send me a message so i can ramble about it more #my analysis //#edited: 8/12/2021

52 notes · View notes

kidslovecudi · 4 years

Text

Man On The Moon III: The Chosen - Album Review By “kidslovecudi“

Before I say anything about this album, let me say that I am so excited that Cudi is finally releasing new music! Speaking for all Cudi fans, we have all been waiting for new solo material from the moon man for the longest time and the few teasers he’s been releasing over the last year, with “Leader Of The Delinquents” and his collaborations with Travis Scott, (“The Scotts”) and Eminem (“The Adventures of Moon Man & Slim Shady”) have not been enough to fully satisfy us. With Man on The Moon III: The Chosen, Cudi fulfills on a promise to his fans he made years ago and gives us quite a lot to digest. However despite how fulfilling this record is, Cudi still manages to leave you on the edge of your seat wanting more and I personally can’t wait to see what he’s going to do next!

1. Beautiful Trip (Intro)

Produced by Kid Cudi, FINNEAS, Plain Pat, Emile Haynie & Dot Da Genius

And it starts...

2. Tequila Shots ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Kid Cudi, Dot Da Genius & Take a Daytrip

On this first track Cudi brings us back into the dark world of the moon man but this time with a new outlook. Referencing his previous works, Cudi aims to prove that he’s “not just some sad dude” and feels that despite his mental well being still occasionally being unstable he’s ready for whatever he has to face. What I loved most about this record was Cudi’s consistency. Throughout the years Cudi has mastered the art of having his own unique galactic sound that transcends through all of his music, despite the genre, and that sound is very present here. Along with his classic hums and hypnotic melodies, this track, known as the fan favorite, has the potential to be a classic.

3. Another Day ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Dot Da Genius, Nosaj Thing & Take a Daytrip

When I first heard this song, I absolutely lost my shit. Cudi started this album off swinging and I was not prepared for him to go so hard. I’ve had this song on repeat quite a few times since I first heard it and along with the beat being absolutely sick, Cudi is rapping his ass off! My favorite part is when the beat breaks down in the second chorus, and I get hype as fuck every single time.

4. She Knows This ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by J Gramm, FnZ & Dot Da Genius

This song on first listen reminded me of a song by another of my favorite artists, called “The Let Out” by Jidenna but Cudi took it to a whole other level and isn’t as repetitive. Once the track speeds up Cudi goes even harder with even trippier sounds that will make you feel like you’re driving through space. One of my favorite things about this album is that a lot of the songs change in the middle keeping you that much more engaged in the whole song than to quickly digest it, like a lot of records on mainstream radio. On top of that his bars are on complete fire and it’s always great to see Cudi flex his rapping skill that a lot of people don’t give him credit for.

5. Dive ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Dot Da Genius, Anthony Kilhoffer, Aaron Bow & Teddy Walton

Dive ends the first act of the album and serves as Cudi’s goodbye to his fantasy high. The guitar riffs at the beginning of the song is my favorite part and I wish they were made a bigger part of the song. However this song is classic Cudi, I initially thought it was missing something but after listening to it on it’s own a few more times, I feel like this song is absolutely perfect. It’s groovy as fuck and I think because it kind of ends so abruptly that it leaves a lot to be desired, but that also might have been Cudi’s intent, allowing it to serve as interlude of sorts. I loved the transitional elements through out the song, like when the bass comes in, his adlibs throughout the song and especially the echoing adlibs like, “MOVE, MOVE” “towards the end. It takes a few really good listens to fully enjoy the song as a whole, like it did for me but the more I played the album the more and more I fell in love with it.

6. Damaged ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by MIKE DEAN, Dot Da Genius & Take a Daytrip

I loved the words to this song and the overall message that Cudi was trying to convey throughout the song, but the song itself didn’t do a whole lot for me until I actually found myself in a similar dark place. It’s one of those classic Cudi records that really makes you sit and reflect on your life and everything you’ve gone through, which was exactly what the song did for me. This song is where the album starts to slow down a bit and Cudi sings and raps about his trials and tribulations of being a damaged man and that sometimes his demons still come back and he has to deal with them. A common struggle most of us who’ve ever dealt with feelings of anxiety and depression all know too well.

7. Heaven on Earth⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Dot Da Genius, Anthony Kilhoffer & DST The Danger

This song really didn’t do a whole lot for me but what I loved the most about it again, were it’s adlibs. Cudi really showed out with the adlibs on this album and that’s what made this song enjoyable for me. The song for me just sounded too typical to me but even despite that, it’s still a great track to vibe to, just not something I’d put on my favorites.

8. Show Out (feat. Skepta & Pop Smoke) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Dot Da Genius, Anthony Kilhoffer & DST The Danger

Easily one of my favorite tracks on the album, when I first heard this, I completely lost my my shit and it was almost impossible not to turn my entire bedroom upside down. For one beat is absolutely sick and picks the tempo right back up. Cudi, Skepta and Pop Smoke’s voices are infectious together and everyone shines on this song without any one of them over shadowing the other’s performance. Definite a track to rage the fuck out to.

9. Mr. Solo Dolo III ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Kid Cudi, Audio Anthem, Dot Da Genius & Plain Pat

This song is trippy as fuck. From beginning to end this song takes you on an absolutely journey from the chords and the keys and there are no words to describe it. I remember playing this song while I was driving home from work on my scooter at night and man oh man, the vibes this song had was incredible. It made me feel like I was traveling to another galaxy. As a loner, this song really spoke to me and it made me feel like someone else understood exactly how I felt. My favorite part was his scream after the second verse. It made me feel free and liberated and that my feelings in that moment had been validated.

10. Sad People ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Dot Da Genius & Take a Daytrip

This song is an absolute vibe. Cudi’s in his bag, back in his zone, as he said and my favorite thing about this song is the chorus. Cudi’s harmonies are absolutely incredible and my favorite part is towards the end of the chorus when the song takes on an eerie west coast like synth and it’s absolutely infectious.It’s like a dark B side to “Cudi Zone” from the first album which is one of my favorite songs by Cudi to this day. It’s songs like this that made Cudi the legendary moon man that he his, in the first place.

11. Elsie’s Baby Boy (flashback) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by E*Vax, Kid Cudi, Heavy Mellow & Dot Da Genius

This song sounded like a leftover track from “Speedin’ Bullet To Heaven” and despite how much negative criticism that album got, I absolutely love when Cudi dives into his alternative roots and I really hope he decides to dive deeper into it even further at some point. In this song Cudi sings about his relationship with his mother Elsie and his childhood upbringings. By this it in turn gave me flashbacks to my relationship with my grandmother and my childhood memories which all brought back happy and sad moments for me.

12. Sept. 16 ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Emile Haynie, FINNEAS, Plain Pat & Dot Da Genius

What I loved the most about this record was Cudi’s vulnerability. Cudi has a few rare moments on his albums where he actually sings about love and being in love and it’s always great to hear. Cudi’s such a hopeless romantic and I love when he let’s his guard down and expresses his feelings. This song takes me back to “Kitchen” on “Passion, Pain, & Demon Slayin’“ and though I love that song more, this song was definitely cooked in the same pot.

13. The Void ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by Dot Da Genius, Kid Cudi & MIKE DEAN

The most uplifting song from the album, this song takes me back to some of the vibes from the first album, like his song “Up, Up, and Away”. That was one of the songs in my high school days that made me fully accept myself for who I was, regardless of what people said and this song is just as motivating and uplifting. On the same wave of “Reborn”, Cudi sings about avoiding all negativity on this record and only focusing on the positive. I almost cried towards the end when he thanked us, his fans, for staying with him and never leaving him. It’s a very beautiful song, but I just personally feel like this song should have been the one to end the album or close to end because to me this track is a hard one to follow behind.

14. Lovin’ Me (feat. Phoebe Bridgers) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by William J. Sullivan, Charlie Handsome, Rami Beatz & Dot Da Genius

It took a little while for this song to set in for me but after it did, it made me want to cry. If you ever struggled with self-love or self-acceptance then this song is for you. What I loved most about this song was the message because it really hit home for me. It’s a beautiful anthem about finding happiness within yourself that I feel a lot of people will relate to.

15. The Pale Moonlight ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Produced by E*Vax, Rami Beatz & Dot Da Genius

Wasn’t feeling this one all too much, but what I loved about it most again, were the adlibs. I loved Cudi’s multiple layering of his vocals throughout the song, especially the “la-la-la-la” parts. The sounds very remiscent to some of Cudi’s earlier music and if you didn’t know any better you’d swear this was a leftover track from “The End Of Day”.

16. Rockstar Knights (feat. Trippie Redd) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Produced by Jenius, WondaGurl, MIKE DEAN, Dot Da Genius & Take a Daytrip

I’m not a big fan of Trippie Redd but I really fuck with his contributions on this song. This is another song where I really loved the chorus and I also love Cudi’s flow once his verse comes in. Cudi’s wordplay is out of this world on this record and it’s hard not to beat your head as Cudi delivers bar for bar for bar throughout his entire verse. Cudi really shines on this record with his skills as a MC and if Cudi ever felt he had anything to prove as a rapper, he definitely did that here. As the song ends it feels like Cudi just turned the spaceship on hyperdrive and took us along for the ride as he drifted further and further into space- Totally sick.

17. 4 da Kidz ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Produced by WondaGurl, MIKE DEAN, Dot Da Genius, 18YOMAN & Take a Daytrip

A song dedicated to the “kidz” reminding us that we are not alone and this song is another song to vibe out to. With instructions from Cudi, to turn it loud if we need to, this song, on the same frequency as “love.” is another song where Cudi is speaking to us as our big brother and giving us a well needed pep talk. What I loved most about it was Cudi’s vocals on the chorus, especially the way he pronounced the “oo” vowel sounds. It was very reminiscent of a Baltimore accent which I always found comical in the best way which is one of things I love the most about Cudi. He’s not afraid to try different things or pull different things from his various influences despite the genre and on this record, he ties them up beautifully.

18. Lord I Know ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Produced by MIKE DEAN, Dot Da Genius, 18YOMAN & Take a Daytrip

Serving as the closer to the album and the man on the moon trilogy, this song is a classic Cudi hym that tells us that we’re not alone regardless of what we face in life. What I liked most about this song was the message, and that’s why I rate it so highly. In this song Cudi expresses being content with the path he’s on at life and after everything he’s gone through, it makes me happy to finally hear that he’s found peace within himself. The song/album ends with his daughter Vada saying, “To be continued” and I can’t wait to see what Cudi has in store for us next. I just have a strong feeling that all of us Cudi fans are about to eat REAL GOOD.

There’s been a lot said about this album, good and bad but I feel this album is merely a taste of what’s to come. Is this record my favorite? No, but what I can say is that it’s an ALBUM, meaning it’s not a group of songs that you can easily separate like many others. This is the kind of album where you have to play the whole thing all the way through time in and time again to really get what Cudi was trying to convey. It’s not a record that you can just play a few times and be done with, no, it’s a grower. There were a lot of songs on this record that I did not like at first, but after having some time to let them marinate, they became some of my favorites and it made me truly appreciate Kid Cudi as an artist because people don’t make albums like this anymore. There’s rare artists that are this detailed with the way the songs transitions, the interludes, and how copacetic the album is in it’s entirety. This album was truly a gift and I can’t wait to see what else Cudi has left up his sleeve.

Top Favorite Songs

Another Day

Dive

Tequila Shots

Rockstar Knights

The Void

Mr. Solo Dolo III

Listen For Yourself Here!

#kid cudi #man on the moon 3 #man on the moon iii #motm3 #album review #2020 #motmiii

93 notes · View notes

pop-goes-the-sneasel · 4 years

Note

Lycanroc? I adore the Midday form if that matters LOL

Lycanroc!!!!!

Lycanroc’s a wolf pokemon, and it actually comes in three different forms: Midday, Midnight, and Dusk, all of which are Rock-type. Midday Lycanroc is what you get by evolving Rockruff during the day. Its design is pretty straightforward – it’s just a rocky wolf! But it is an impeccably designed rocky wolf. With an organic-feeling silhouette and a natural colour scheme, it represents wolves quite well. Maybe not the most creative thing, sure, but it does SUCH a good job at being a wolf that I don’t mind.

Midday Lycanroc’s highest stat is speed, with its dex entries emphasising its fast movements as well: it’s said to use quick movements to confuse its enemies and gradually back them into a corner. The razor-sharp rocks on its mane are its primary weapon, and it’s surprising that this is actually our first Rock-type to take a mammal and just have rocks jutting out. In fact, this and its pre-evolution Rockruff are the ONLY Rock-type mammals besides Terrakion! Crazy. Anyways, it also has a signature move called Accelerock. Befitting Midday’s speed, Accelerock always goes first so long as the opponent isn’t also using a heightened-priority attack.

Next is Midnight Form, and hoo boy is that a LOOK!!!! Midnight Lycanroc makes the logical contrast to a regular wolf by being a wickedly rad werewolf. Appropriately, it evolves from Rockruff at night. It’s got a lovely burgundy colour scheme, a killer hairstyle, red eyes that glow when it attacks, and a wonderfully toothy smile that communicates a TON of personality. Its posture is also outstanding, with its arms hanging unnaturally in front of it, making it feel uniquely monstrous and uncanny. This is easily my favourite of the three forms, and I’d say one of the objectively best-designed pokemon in existence.

Midnight’s much slower than Midday, so rather than learning the signature Accelerock, it’s instead themed around Counter. Counter is a move that causes the user to wait and take damage from a physical attack, then strike back at the attacker for double the damage. Fittingly, Midnight is said to attack with no regard for its own safety, ignoring the pain of opponents’ attacks as it counterattacks with bone-crushing headbutts. Unlike Midday, who is said to be loyal and faithful to its trainer, Midnight is said to ignore orders it doesn’t like.

And last we’ve got Dusk Form, which is actually event-exclusive: only specially distributed Rockruff with the ability Own Tempo can evolve into it, and only during the single hour when day transitions to night. It mixes the design elements of both the previous forms, with pleasant orange fur evoking a sunset. Its green eyes notably seem derived from the green flash, an optical phenomenon that sometimes occurs at sunset, though they glow red like Midnight when it attacks. I consider it a somewhat weaker design than either of the other forms, lacking the aesthetic cohesion of them in its attempt to balance the other designs, but it’s still far from bad.

I dislike how Dusk’s distribution is so limited, but it’s seemingly because it was designed especially for Ash’s Rockruff. In the anime, Rockruff evolves into it in during an instance of the green flash I was talking about. The thing is though, ANY Rockruff should logically be capable of this! If they wanted to limit it, then making Own Tempo Rockruff’s hidden ability would be a good way to do so. Whatever though. Personality-wise, Dusk mixes both Midday and Midnight, appearing calm usually but exhibiting extreme ferocity in battle. Neat!

All the shinies use a shade of blue, which I guess roughly correspond to the colour of the sky during day and night? Just now noticed that, that’s neat! Pretty good shinies overall, very distinct from the base colours – though I think I overall prefer the more natural colourations they typically have, and Dusk could use a new eye colour for contrast. Shiny Midnight’s magenta eyes are exceptionally pretty, though.

But yeah, Lycanroc’s pretty fantastic. Midnight Lycanroc is potentially my favourite Rock-type, currently tied with Nihilego. Midday’s a pretty fantastic design as well. Dusk is maybe a little underwhelming compared to the other two, but it’s still a solid concept and the lovely sunset colours have some very solid appeal.

Excellonte doggos/10.

#pokemon #pokemon reviews #pkmn #swsh #lycanroc #rockruff #rock type #alola #gen 7 #justine-writes

45 notes · View notes

bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself. i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he? like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it. So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit. That’s yet another way to put it. Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today? cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad! Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything. --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects. That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place. The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers. This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth? or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be. :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2. So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations. Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for? Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues. And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit. Karkat’s limited lifespan. As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation. We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we? >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus. I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason. Which it won’t! Right??? >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck. I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry. God damnit. SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!! *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends. That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true. What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this? It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm. Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy? Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff. He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much. <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!! Point taken. Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome. I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up. :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice. Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat. See y’all next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Breath and Blood #Light and Void

28 notes · View notes

yoonchrisgull · 5 years

Text

Alpha’s little wolf | pjm (1)

-> Synopsis: Your mind stutters dysfunctionally and you slowly take a step back.

Your brother gets abruptly cut of by a low growl, and everyone’s attention lured towards the alpha announcing his claim.

“Mate.”

-> Pairing: alpha jimin x omega reader

-> Genre: romance . Fluff . Smut (in future chapters)

-> Words: 10k

-> Chapters: preview - first - second

-> Warning: none in this part

-> About: Jimin is a bad bitch, reader is an even bigger bad bitch, seriously you’ll fall in love with the reader’s character, lots of magic shit, taehyung is a handsome creep, lots of horror, reader and Jimin are soft for each other (later on) brother Hobi cause why not, kook is a bun bun with a man bun, possessive jimin, lots of romance and understatement, this is the good shit, you won’t regret reading it…

-> In: Narrative POV, Third person POV

Check out my Masterlist

Wattpad Account: Here

“Is she done yet?”

Mira flinches at the sound of Y/N’s voice creeping up behind her and quickly turns to shoot her a disoriented look, her chest heaving in pants as she smacks a palm to her racing heart.

“Don’t scare me like that!” She screeches and once she caught the tail of her escaping breaths, she hollers towards that specific rigid door and opens it.

Well, she tried.

The door just wouldn’t budge, no matter how many times she tried jerking it. Y/N guessed that the younger had locked herself in.

Mira clicks her tongue in annoyance, mumbling some incoherent words and let go of the handle.

The blank look on her face when she turns to face her elder sister makes Y/N to hold back a grin, knowing for a fact that Mira just mentally noted to never piss the baby of the family ever again.

Y/N wonders what it was about this time. As if already excepting her to pop out the question, Mira pulls her hand up in a halt and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Don’t even ask,” She sighs out frustratedly and walks off, her figure soon disappearing at the end of the corner.

Y/n’s lips stay clamped when the second youngest is finally out of view. After a few minutes or so, she shakes away from her trance and nears closer to the door.

“Vi,” Still, in faze by her previous state, Y/n slowly lift her knuckles to knock softly against the mahogany, her sensitive wolf ears’ picking up the shuffling coming from the inside.

Then it stops.

“Vi, it’s Y/n. You need to come downstairs. Your friends are already here,” She adds.

Y/n holds back a smile when the door swings wide open revealing the birthday girl herself clad in a cute, puffy, pink gown. Her dark hair all tied up in adorable pigtails with a visible shimmer of diamond-like pins tucked to keep her hair in place.

The elder hums in approval at her frame before crouching down to lift the 5-year-old girl in her arms.

With both of the sisters heading downstairs, where the party’s at, Vi goes on and on about how Mira unnie being a meanie when she confiscated her pink iPod.

Of course, Y/n can’t help but chuckle at her use of the big word.

However, she also can’t help but wonder why the two don’t get along sometimes.

Y/n sighs.

She’ll probably never understand. Fifteen years gap sure is a long time compared to a ten-year gap.

But what’s much worse is that she’d sometimes find herself stuck in the middle whenever the two engage into an unnecessary quarrel over a tiny misunderstanding.

One expects her to take their side, while the other individual practically forces her to agree with whatever their story is, with a threat.

At times like this, Y/n could only dread being the third born in the family while also wishing the presence of her oh-so-dear brother.

At least he knew how to keep the house sane from any sort of bicker created by the two.

Vi’s still in her arms as she makes her way towards the back door, where the event’s taking place when Mira suddenly decides to mind-link her.

“Guess what.”

“What?”

“He’s back and he’s bringing a bunch of friends along with him.” Y/n ponder momentarily, wondering just who on earth was she talking about.

“I miss Oppa,” Vi mumbles with a pout and that’s when it hits her like lightning.

Y/n shudder slightly at the soothing night breeze grazing her skin as she steps out of the house, Vi’s friends running their way the second they spotted the two of them.

“Hi, Unnie!” They cheer and Y/n acknowledge their cute presence with a smile, crouching down to allow Vi to stand on her own before fixing her posture.

“Go have fun. Unnie will be in the kitchen if you need her, okay?”

The five-year-old girl nods vigorously before sprinting away with her friends towards the balloon filled platform.

“To our close relatives, friends, and of course.” The mother of the three starts with a mic in her hand. “Vi’s precious friends.” That earned her a wave from the front row- where all the kids were situated.

Then she takes a glance behind towards Vi sitting on a little throne chair at the stage, before looking back at the crowd.

“Thank you all so much for taking the time to come and celebrate our youngest daughter’s fifth birthday. We hope this won’t be the last. Again. Thank you and we hope you enjoy,” After that, the DJ hits the button and soon enough, the place’s bouncing with cute kiddy songs, and the adults can only watch with happiness filling their eyes when spotting their children having fun.

“I’m home!” Y/n and Mira momentarily freeze at the voice, water running from the sink being the only sound rushing the wind until Mira decides to snap out of her daze first and off the faucet.

Y/n place the knife down, leaving a half minced onion on the counter to go inspect the familiar voice.

With reluctant steps, she opens the kitchen door only to gasp in surprise when a tall figure comes lunging in to attack her in a hug.

She knows him.

“Hobi put me down!” The female screech at the man who carries her from the kitchen to the living room only to twirl around with her still in his grasp.

“Aww~ why~?” He whines like a five-year-old child but puts her down nonetheless.

Mira comes barging in into space and immediately pounces at the eldest, tackling him to ground while Y/n’s still trying to catch her balance from all the twirling.

“Mira sto- no! not the ear- ouch!”

“Seven years, you idiot. You haven’t called us for seven years and you still have the guts to show yourself!” Mira spats and Y/n reluctantly help her off her elder brother.

Hoseok rubs the back of his ear as if trying to ease the pain and pout forms on his lips.

“They don’t allow phones at Alpha Academy,” He mumbles, “Didn’t Dad tell you that?” Hoseok’s arm grasps Y/n to help him stand up.

Y/n’s about to assure him that her parents did tell them all about that, but then he decides to screech horribly with his wide eyes glued to her chest.

“You got boobs now!?”

“Oppa!”

After hitting the male in the head for yelling out such thing, the pout on his face only grows more when he explained why it was rather shocking to him.

Y/n felt guilty, and at the same time wanted to just shove a sock inside his mouth.

He kept pointing out the stuff he noticed getting wider and bigger.

Y/n practically had to smack his hand away when he started tracing the outline of her waist only to later claim that she has got a ‘good curve’.

She doesn’t blame him though. She was still thirteen when he left for Alpha training and she pretty much agrees that her body structure did change from a chubby little preteen to a somewhat normal size one.

He’s changed as well.

Hoseok grew a few more inches, his features did sharpen to a whole new level and judging by the way he was crushing her a while ago, shows to prove that beneath his dark attire, which consisted of a sweatshirt partnered with his tight jeans and converse, there are muscles just waiting to be exposed and flexed.

Y/n cringe at the thought.

She doesn’t want to see that. She’ll barf honestly.

Just like how he did it with her, Hoseok lifts Vi in his embrace and spins her around. The sight truly is heartwarming and despite the judging face created by Mira, Y/n know that she’s feeling it too as Vi’s cute waves of laughter mingling with his raspy deep one.

“Now all my children are here!” Their mother chimes out of nowhere before running up to engulf her firstborn into a bear crushing hug, the youngest refusing to let go of his neck even when their dad tries to take her.

“No!” Vi shrieks. “I’m staying with Oppa!” Y/n let out a laugh when her dad pulls out a bar of Snickers from his pocket in attempts to bribe the youngest girl sticking to Hoseok like glue, who so happens to be busy talking to their mom to even notice the deal created by their dad.

Vi excitedly accepts it and immediately detaches herself.

“The movie’s starting in a few minutes by the way,” The elder male of the family announce and Y/n playfully salute at that.

“We’ll be there,”

“Ah Y/n, Mira! There are people I want you to meet,” Before the two could even protest, Hoseok’s already grabbed a hold of Y/n’s wrists, immediately dragging her figures at the corner of the massive yard.

Though dark, she’s able to spot a few males standing underneath the tree her great grandfather planted.

As they neared the place, a waft of blueberry suddenly fills Y/n’s senses and her wolf decides to wake up from her deep slumber to shake her fur.

Y/n feels her wolf urging her to fasten her pace as if Hoseok’s tempo wasn’t fast enough, towards the undyingly alluring scent and the back of her hair stands.

Then, she purrs.

Y/n bite her lip, moving her eyes to look at the ground.

She knows that scent.

“Guys!” Hoseok’s cheerful voice calls out and Y/n soon come to a stop, the male’s hand leaving hers.

She doesn’t look up. She’ll never lookup.

Her brother’s completely oblivious at the feeling surging her body.

Y/n shift uncomfortably in her spot, still refusing to look up.

She can feel his gaze planted on her. It’s strong and she flinches when Hoseok suddenly nudges her arm.

She shouldn’t feel intimidated.

This is normal for all werewolves.

So, with an uneasy heart, she inhales a deep breath and looks up.

Almost instantly, she locks gazes with a pair of beautiful ebony eyes, the moonlight piercing through the leaves, cascading down on him like an enchantment highlighting his eyes, nose, lips and then down to his perfectly chiselled jaw.

Y/n look away first, gulping dryly.

“Guys, I’d like you to meet Mira, and Y/-”

And that’s when they hear it.

Y/n’s mind fumbles uncontrollably and she slowly takes a step back.

He gets abruptly cut off by a low growl, and everyone adverts their attention towards the wolf claiming what belongs to them.

“Mate.”

Y/n can’t stand the rapid growth of tension building in between all of them. Even from the corner of her eyes underneath the translucent moon, she’s able to spot the anticipation of what’ll happen next reflecting from their eyes.

So the only clear choice she’s able to come up with in a heated situation such as this.

Is to run.

With no words whatsoever, she quickly turn on her heel and and start sprinting out of the group. Her wolf pounces up almost instantly at her action, angrily growling at her from the inside of her head.

No doubt was she disliking her for abandoning her mates.

'Go back!'She says, and Y/n wince at her obnoxious bark before deciding it’d be best to tune her off momentarily.

Even from a few feet away, she can still feel his eyes burning holes at her figure as she try to slip her way through some of the guests, at the same time making sure to not bump to one.

This probably wasn’t a good idea.

After what seemed like forever, a sigh of relief escapes the caves of her mouth when she finally reached the safe tunnel of her house, her back pressed against the hard mahogany of the door.

Definitely not a good idea.

There’s a moment of silence where her breathes’ the only sound echoing the empty space, her chest heaving slightly from all that running. Once she has caught up with her breathing, a little flashback starts playing and she recalls what had just happened.

Then, she groan.

She has completely made a fool right out of herself. In front of her siblings, her brother’s friends, and most especially her…. her mate.

Y/n grimace, but she know exactly why she did it.

She’s still not ready.

The last thing she wants in this world is knowing she’ll get stuck with the same person forever. She’s twenty for goodness sake and her desire to view life in a different perspective’s much stronger than a pack of well-trained wolves getting ready for battle.

She wants to experience what its like living a life of freedom and on her own. She’s not ready for the commitment, the relationship too and the obligation that comes along with it, at least not yet.

Wait. No!

She doesn’t want this one bit. She wants out.

Out of this mate-bond that’s slowly forming in her, away from him and everything that comes with him.

Sighing, she’s then pulled out from her little trance when she feel the handle beside she arm shift. With narrowed eyes, she move her attention to the side.

That familiar scent of blueberry decides to attack her senses again, and she unconsciously shudder at the sensation it was giving her.

“I know you’re in there, little wolf.” Then the door creaks open.

Well crap.

She forgot to lock it. If she had any alternate way of escaping this fate, then she’s willing to accept it with open arms.

She bite her lips hard.

The door slowly starts to open, and he’s on the other side. With panic rushing her system, accompanied by the immense beating of her heart. In one swift motion, she collect herself and immediately turn to apply pressure against the door.

Basically slamming it shut again on his face and she hears him curse something under his breath. “Don’t make me repeat this twice. Open the door. Now!”

Y/n gulp.

'Stupid and selfish.’

She knows she is that.

Behind that mild deep growl, lies a sea of impatient creatures that’s ready to devour anything in its path if not given what it wanted.

He almost sounds pissed.

Wait! Who are you kidding? He sounds freaking furious!

When Y/n don’t say anything, or do anything. He grabs a hold of the handle again and starts to push. No doubt would he easily empower her figure, and she honestly expected it. Her mind begins to fumble with a bunch of different escape options when she feel her feet starting to graze backwards.

A light bulb pops.

The front door.

Y/n can run to the front door, shift and disappear into the near by forest.

That’ll work.

She’ll be back when they leave. Of course she can’t leave her family.

Taking in a deep breath, she gives herself a good three seconds before quickly releasing the handle to sprint towards her escape.

The door then flys open revealing the man himself and his eyes go wide when her figure starts to disappear in the corner.

A cold chill ripples down her back at the sound of him growling, his heavy footsteps soon ringing her ears and she force herself to quicken her tempo.

He’s definitely beyond furious right now. I mean who wouldn’t? What wolf in their right mind would just run away the second they’ve found their mate?

Its crazy, but at the same time, judging by her current situation, she can consider herself one of those crazy wolfs.

She knew this is the stupidest thing she has done in her life and she would love to stop and explain all the matter to him like a normal human.

But at the stupid run she did back there, she’s confirmed that he’ll probably won’t let her go after that.

Once reaching the front door, she quickly swing it open and practically hop out from the porch, not caring if her clothes rip into pieces when she start to shift.

The man’s getting closer and we all know that she don’t even want him anywhere near her. A few cracks fills the whistling air when she start transforming.

It takes about a minute for her amber fur to emerge, its follicles shimmering underneath the hues of the bright moon, and soon enough, she land hard on four paws.

Y/n push away her wolf who’s struggling to take over, but she accomplish that with ease before taking her leave to hide away from the man running up behind her.

He’s fast, even in his human form.

Adrenaline rushes her system when she speed towards the forest, trees hovering her wolf form as she zap away in this cold breezy night.

Just when she thought she has already lost him, she pick up the sound of his running footsteps.

Her wolf whimpers and she can’t help feel the guilt forming in the pit of her stomach at the sound that rumbles out of him.

Her fur stands straight, chills slithering her spine when she hear the sad howl piercing its way through her surroundings.

He’s transformed and now’s expressing what he feels. There’s a cry of desperation in his voice, a longing of want taking over its every melody.

It was her turn to whimper now at the thought, but she doesn’t stop at all.

No!

She only quicken her pace with much determination flashing her eyes.

Why?

Cause she won’t allow a little guilt to come change her mind.

Splattering of her rushed footsteps flows the howling night, her heavy breathes mingling with the wind as her wolf form continues to zips through natures given resources.

Y/n don’t want to slow down despite the urge being great.

How can she?

When knowing too well that the big wolf behind her starts picking up his speed, his scent uninvitingly filling her nostrils.

Uneasiness electrocutes her body when she sense it getting stronger by the second, and her hind legs jerks up to its limit.

If she could run any faster, then she would. With determination flaring her eyes, she pursue to dodge every bark, tree, every obstacles forming her way.

She can’t get him near her. She doesn’t want him to reach her.

Y/n glance over her shoulder momentarily, oh how she wished she didnt.

Cause at that very moment, the second she lock gazes with his dark moon reflected eyes, she absentmindedly lower her speed.

A wave of chills slides through her spine as she takes in the masculinity of his wolf.

His fur’s white as the bellowing snow, the beam of the moon cascading down the soothness of his hair, providing a pleasant illusion of turquoise dancing on the ends.

His front legs are strong as they bounce off the ground, reflexing when dropping hard on the moist soil.

Her conscious’s left in a state of adoration at the species before her and her wolf purrs at that thought, that all of that, is hers.

A moment of silence invades her environment as her eyes stay glued to him.

She can’t take them off, and slowly by slowly, the air around her stops brushing against her body when her legs comes to halt.

She’s no longer in tact with her inner self that’s reminding her what she’s suppose to do.

She’s suppose to run, but she can’t.

Being able to see him with her very own eyes sends her jumping of a cliff, providing her the unnecessary feeling of euphoria.

He is beautiful.

She’s still staring at him, like a deer caught in a headlight. She’s stuck in between mixed emotions and the faint memory of having to run away.

She doesn’t even notice his presence inching closer to where she’s left hanging.

His wolf emerges from the bliss of darkness, leaves rushing along his fur as he makes his entrance, the light beaming from the moon working like a spotlight as they trickle down his figure.

His eyes stay glued with her’s when he nears her, and before she’s even able to comprehend everything and eventually make a run for it, he rubs himself on her.

Y/n can only hold in a breath as her muscle tenses to his touch. Feeling him a few feet away already made her frenzy, but now that he’s this close?

She feel like her paws’ about to give way.

He continues to nuzzle his snout against the crook of her neck before trailing up to her ear, his tongue flicking softly on the edge.

She can only stay stiff when he moves to her other side, feeling his big body brushing against her own.

Eventually, her wolf starts to relax to his soothing gesture, and she frown.

Just because she seems okey in the outside, it doesn’t mean she’s not in a state of havoc in the inside.

An endless wave of worry and anxiety schemes through her veins when a truck of realization hits her hard.

She know what he’s doing now. Why didn’t she notice this sooner?

Every wolf’s aware of the meaning behind this act and she always despised it.

She try to take a step back, but freeze when a low growl escapes the depths of his throat.

So, she just stay still and let him do it.

He’s rubbing his scent on her, making sure everyone knows that she belongs to him and no one less.

Like every other werewolves out there, despite the different ranks.

She knows what he was doing and she gulp dryly.

He was marking his property.

Sighing, Y/n finish pulling her hair up into a ponytail, not giving much effort to the task really, before reluctantly exiting the comforts of her bedroom.

After the little moment her wolves shared amid the forest, she surprisingly found herself giving in to his soothing dark eyes that were telling she it was time to go home.

She grimaces at the memory, face scrunching slightly at how she just simply obliged without a word, submitting to him like a little pup who’s still in need of a parent’s guidance which is so unlike her.

Just as she’s about to take the last turn that’ll eventually lead her to the living room, she draws back from her little trance when Vi appears from the corner with bloodshot eyes.

Her fingers curled into fists as she gently rubs her eyes, faint sobs escaping her and Y/n instantly approach her with a worried look. “Vi, what wrong?”

The five-year-old doesn’t answer her, her body just lunching in to attack her in a tight embrace when she has crouched down to her level.

She’s still crying, her wet tears meeting the bare of her neck as she stands up. With her hand gently soothing her back in hopes to at least get the little to relax and tone down a bit, the elder female resume back on her track and finally made it to the living room.

A lump abruptly forms in her throat, stomach slightly dancing when her eyes fall on the figure sitting on one of the couches.

He’s there, conversing with their father over something serious judging by the expressions they had on.

They don’t realize the female’s presence only until Vi decide it was time to calm down and she instantly jumps in Y/n’s hold as a sign to let her down.

“Unnie.” She whines in a not so little sound, not that Y/n was planning to eavesdrop or anything.

And soon enough, two pair of eyes are planted on her.

One of them makes her shiver, in contrast to the one her father sends her.

“Ah, Y/n.” Her father smiles before gesturing her to come closer, Vi all long gone heading to the only God knows where.

“I’d like you to meet the son of a good friend of mine.”

Oh.

Aside from feeling a bit relieved about him not revealing the whole being-his-mate-thing, Y/n can’t help the disappointment flashing her veins though.

“This is my daughter, Y/n.” Her old man chimes too excitedly for her comfort, before gesturing towards the male.

“And this young man’s the next alpha. Jimin.”

Well, cruds. Is that how Hoseok got to know him?

At the Alpha Training Center?

A fake smile stretches across Y/n’s face as she acknowledges him with a polite bow.

Great.

If the heavens didn’t think it bothered her at all when they finally decide to drop in the package of her-not-so-wanted mate, finding out he’s a soon-to-be alpha is another.

She’s not ready for any of this.

Jimin smiles at her, not the really friendly type though.

It’s as if he’s forcing himself to show off charm for the sake of her father.

“Pleasure to meet you, Y/n.” His voice’s silky as they brush past her ears, a little bit strained for some reason and the look in his eyes’ the opposite to what he’s trying to flaunt out.

An obnoxious clap from her dad steals her attention and Y/n swiftly turn to face him.

His hands are clasped together in front, a wide grin in full display.

“I’ll leave you kids to it. Get to know each other.” He inquires before quickly passing them both and eventually disappearing up the flight of stairs.

When he’s gone, the male beside her speaks up “Okey, let’s get one thing straight here.” He starts and Y/n can only quirk her brow to what he has to say.

His eyes held bluntness in them, the fake smile from earlier vanishing his lips and it almost looks like he doesn’t care at all.

Okay?

“I’m not ready for a mate.”

If only he knew that rush of relief relinquishing her whole body then no doubt would he be struck with surprise?

Honestly, a part of her is happy he doesn’t want a mate, but the other part makes her wanna curl into a tight fetus and pour her heart out in agony.

Ouch.

And to think he was the same wolf who chased after her like she was the only thing that mattered.

“Okey.” She responds tightly, holding her unwavering gaze at him. “Then let’s end it here. Right now.”

There’s a moment of silence that seeps around the room when her words finally sink in.

It catches him off guard and one can easily tell how surprised he is just by the looks of his face.

His shoulders’ tense, eyes widening as they peer through her own before they drastically and almost instinctually fall.

She was being serious, and that doesn’t go unnoticed at all.

Jimin’s now glaring at her with clenched fists, his jaw constricting to the point where Y/n Can feeling her whole body burning with heat beneath his immense stare.

What’s he glaring for now?

She’s making this a whole lot easier for him bringing this solution up. If he doesn’t want a mate, then it’s better to put an end to this before it’s too late.

She takes in a deep breath, getting ready to spill those very words forming the pit of her throat.

Jimin immediately notices this.

“I, Jung Y/n-”

She can’t finish her words.

Why?

Cause Jimin’s now clasping her mouth with his manly hand and his arm is around her waist.

He suddenly jerks her body to press hard against him that way their faces are only a few centimetres apart.

Y/n widen her eyes, and he silently scoffs, unamused.

“You’re an idiot, my little wolf. A complete idiot.”

When Y/n succeed with wiggling her mouth away from his grasp, both his arms fall to completely secure her inside his grip.

Y/n doesn’t notice the way he pulls her even closer, if that was even possible, due to still being left in a state of dilemma and shock.

Why on earth did he stop her?

He said it himself that he didn’t want a mate!

Anyone from a few feet away can tell how confused the female was, her mouth gaped in surprise at his actions and words.

Jimin leans in to nuzzle his nose against the crook of her neck and she falls stiff.

A faint yet noticeable churn forms the pit of her stomach and she grimaces.

He’s affecting her not only physically but emotionally too. She doesn’t even know him that well.

The male relaxes in her hold, nuzzling his face even more and a fast rush of tingles zaps through her system when she feels something soft press against her.

The female’s breath hitches.

His soft lips grace her skin, sending a glittering effect of something as he now plants sweet butterfly kisses on her shoulder.

When the reality of her situation decides to finally sink in, Y/n immediately plants her palms on his chest in a hopeful attempt to push him away.

Too bad the plan doesn’t work, cause when she tries to do just that, a low intimidating growl vibrates out of the man’s throat before he harshly grazes his teeth to keep her in place, daring her to go on with her motives.

It doesn’t hurt, but Y/n’s afraid he’ll sink his canines deep enough to mark her as his if she does make another move.

Y/n internally pound him with a hammer for the threat before dropping her arms in defeat and she could have sworn she felt him smile against her skin when he retracts his teeth away, replacing its place with two soft lips.

The man hums pleasingly. “Stupid little wolf.” He muses almost mockingly, and when he chuckles, the caged female can feel the vibration of his body seeping through both their clothed forms.

“I said I wasn’t ready for a mate. Not, I didn’t want a mate.” He pulls back and plants his forehead against his mate’s, closing his eyes as if to enjoy the moment.

There’s a smile on his full lips when he releases a relieved sigh. “You smell amazing, little wolf.”

This guy’s a weirdo.

A moment of silence follows the man’s words as Y/n’s mind’s not comprehending anything other than the feeling of those butterflies crossing her abdomen.

Jimin’s eyes stay closed in a still manner, his chest heaving as he breathes.

At that very moment, Vi comes rushing in with heavy footsteps but then decides to abruptly halt in her steps when noticing the unusual sight before her.

Panicking slightly, Y/n look away from the handsome face in front of her and drawback to lock gazes with a pair of those familiar eyes.

Vi’s currently tilting her head to the side, sending her sister a weird look and Y/n probably know why.

She’s still trapped inside Jimin’s hold, her bodies too close for her comfort and now a five-year-old girl is shooting the both of them a questioning look.

“Vi!” Y/n screech, like a kid, caught stealing candy.

Quickly, she uses this chance to completely get away from her undeniably hot mate when he decides to glance over where she’s looking at.

Jimin scrunches his nose slightly, her warmth no longer intact with his own once she slipped out from his grasp.

“What are you doing here?” Y/n ask Vi and Jimin doesn’t hesitate to approach her again, slowly pressing his chest against her back with both his arms now securing her tight.

He rests his chin on her shoulder and when he speaks, firecrackers uncontrollably explodes inside of her.

“You’re Violet, right?” He whispers to the little girl, purposely teasing his mate with his breath.

Vi snaps out from her curiousness, but what she does next, leaves Jimin tightening his grip around Y/n’s struggling form with his face all nuzzled against the portion of her neck.

He smiles amusingly.

“Mom! Unnie! Y/n Unnie has a boyfriend!”

Y/n immediately jerk out of Jimin’s grasp as the voice of her little dear devil shakes the walls of her house.

“Vi!” She shriek, staring down at her in disbelief as she looked up at her with large innocent doe eyes.

For a record, Y/n could not blame her. The little girl literally found her elder sister in the arms of the man Y/n now was officially starting to dislike.

As if hearing that a new pup was born in a family, their mother and sister did not waste a minute as they came running into the living room in bewilderment and shock.

'Great! Just great!’

“What….?” Their woman trails off the moment she enters, eyes flickering from Y/n’s tense figure to Jimin’s grinning face while her second last daughter is too busy having that shook look on her face to say anything.

Jimin simply smirks from behind Y/n, stepping in as he places a hand in the small of her back.

Goosebumps immediately raise themselves at even his slightest touch. “Mr Jung! We haven’t really decided on saying this out loud this early, but since you have already found out” Smiling down gratefully at Vi, he continues in a soft voice. “Yes, Y/N and I are dating.”

Mira’s jaw drops to the ground as well as the amount of hugeness her old woman’s eyes turn.

And there Y/n was, standing in the middle of all the lie and drama Jimin was showcasing like a fool.

A thrilling excitement squeal suddenly leaves Vi, her small hands turning into fists as her body literally one-off positive energy and response.

'Oh for God sake!’

Y/n internally roll her eyes, mouth opening to end all the blind lie Jimin was telling them when her eyes land on her mother.

And she stops.

Tears were welled up in her shining happiness filled eyes, her bottom lips shaking lightly and Y/n could tell she was happy.

A breath escapes the female’s parted lips at the sight.

Y/n have been single too long for her mother to start worrying about her. There was once even a thought that she doesn’t have a mate.

Of course, she had to react like this.

Y/n close her mouth, deciding to comply against the ich in her mouth.

A feeling close to mischief pass through her guts suddenly and she furrows her brows at that.

For sure she hasn’t felt like one, actually, she’s pissed.

Then what is this sudden unusual feeling?

Y/n direct her eyes to her so-called soulmate and she frowns when she spots the current shine in his eyes.

Mischievous.

'It’s him.’ Her mind states and she internally groan.

The stupid bond.

It’s the mentioned, she knows it.

It’s him who is feeling like he has every power over the situation right now and he’s excited.

And because of the oh so stupid bond the Goddess has gifted her with her mate, she can feel him slowly and clearly.

And that means, he can too.

And he is taking advantages of that.

“We met a while back when Hoseok Hyung came to visit overnight.” He smiles softly. “Mrs Jung! Please don’t cry. I do not like seeing you like this at all.”

Although sounding truly genuine in his last sentence, Y/n could not help but turn to him with a scowl.

What is he up to?

He turns his head to her, his smile widening as he linked eyes with her. “I’ll take good care of her.”

His eyes reflect the light of the living room, hidden promises and genuine statement dominating his irises and Y/n feels her heart skipping a beat.

His posture suddenly look buffing, height towering as he gazes down at her.

And she couldn’t help but take a step back in submission.

Their mother nods, thining her lips as to stop herself from pouring her eyes out.

Y/n sigh.

This is going to be a long ride.

Y/n bit her lips, feeling the skin of her neck pricking in anger as she stirred the food she was preparing for the guests.

'Should I poison him?’ The tempting thought passes through her head but she instantly makes a face.

Yeah! as if that jerk of alpha would die? Moreover, he’ll come after her even as a ghost.

No! She definitely does not want a possessive obsessed Alpha after her that might rape her as a ghost.

Jokes aside, she has read a book like that.

What happened today in the living room did not leave her surprised, but the only regret she had of was why she did not speak up?

She could have just said they weren’t really together, but just dating.

But who is she kidding? Y/n do not want him anywhere near her.

'Well, at least they don’t know that we both are mates!’ This thought was the only thing that was keeping her insane.

How is she going to face Hoseok?

He was the only one who knew that this was her and Jimin’s first time meeting and he had not come home in the past seven years once.

“Y/n!”

Concern said the voice of her brother hits her eardrums from behind.

He sure does carry a long life.

Y/n turns around, praying to the one above that this was not about today, but her pathetic prays were broken into pieces when she sees the frown ingulfing his handsome face.

“Oppa!” She answers, not liking the expression on his face one bit.

“What is going on?” He gets straight to the point and Y/n freezes in her place before the stove.

“Oh, that! It’s no–”

“Truthfully Y/n! I don’t want to be fed with lies.”

And the female quite down. He knows something.

Y/n breath out, dropping her shoulder in defeat, knowing really well that it was hard fooling this man.

He was the one to fool everyone, not the other way around.

“He’s….” Pouting at him to leave the matter alone as her last attempt, she’s met with a defeat when he shakes his head, clearly wanting her to speak up.

She gives up.

“He’s my mate!”

As expected, his eyes turn wide in disbelief but his expressions confuse her the second moment when they narrow in what she sees is anger.

“No!” He shakes his head, whispering, leaving her further confused.

“Hobi.” Y/n call out to get his attention but gasp when a growl rips out from deep inside his chest.

“Not my sister.” With that, he turns to storm out of the kitchen with his steps literally shaking the ground.

The female gasp, her steps running off right after him.

Something is definitely not right.

Y/n panics.

Hoseok looks angry, really angry.

She hasn’t seen him like this for years. The older male has been away for alpha training for seven years and she has forgotten how terrifying he was when he got mad.

Her brother was many steps ahead of her. No matter how much she tried keeping up with him, his one-step alone was the size of three of hers.

“Oppa!” Y/n call him out one last time, not wanting him to do something he’ll regret.

He was surely going to beat the living crap out of Jimin.

The male who was the future alpha of their pack.

She didn’t know why she was defending him and honestly, she could have said that she didn’t care about her tease of a mate.

But she did.

She cared about him cause it wasn’t his fault either.

They were bonded by the moon goddess and it wasn’t his fault that his mate was her, the sister of one of his great friends.

Hoseok didn’t listen to her calls, the anger has taken over his entire head, leaving him completely blank but a mission to confront his young friend he practically grew up with.

He skips outside of the house, his steps taking him to the back of the garden where he knew he’ll be.

Not long, the chuckles that rambled through Jimin’s chest hit his eardrums and he got even madder.

Jimin was a great guy.

He would take care of his sister until his last breath. He would listen to her rather than his own beta.

But he was not for his sister.

He knew how Jimin was. He knew what really went through that mind of his.

He knew exactly what his future plans were and he was not going to let his sister get involved with someone like him.

“Jimin!” He growls, the voice released from deep inside his throats, literally freezing even the male alpha on his place.

Jimin turns towards the voice only to feel the breath getting knocked out of his lungs the other second.

He stumbles back a little on his feet before feeling himself being dragged forward by his collar.

Gasps were heard around him and the other males who were chilling around the garden a moment ago were now on their feet, left completely bewildered by the elder’s sudden act.

“Hoseok!” Jin scolds in a booming voice, taking a step in to separate the future alpha and beta.

He’s however stopped by Namjoon, who takes a hold of his hand and shakes his head at him, mind linking him to leave the two males alone.

They were in a fight and the first rule that they were forced to drill into their minds was to never step in a fight acting out between two dominating males.

“You successfully got inside my family.” Hoseok barks into Jimin’s face who was too calm for the situation.

He didn’t fight back nor jerk himself out of the tight hold of his older friend.

Y/n watch from afar with her mouth gap open, eyes wide as she took in the situation led mainly by her own self.

“You managed to get inside my sister’s head. Just like you promised, you fucker.” Hoseok whispers the last sentence to the male who was held tightly in his fist.

Jimin breath out before a smile slowly tilt upon his lips. “Oh, you know that really well, Hyung.” He whispers back and before he knows it, his head wipes to the side harshly.

Hoseok fist mercilessly stabs into his jaw, once, twice, thrice, yet the future alpha doesn’t do anything to get himself out of the male’s hold.

He rather chuckles, as if the protective brother’s blows were not hurting him at all.

But they all knew they were.

The cracks of his bones located in his jaw were diffusing like palm twitching torture into the air.

But he still laughs.

Y/n watch with a scrunch up face.

He’s crazy.

And she will never involve herself with someone like him.

“Hyung! That’s enough.” Jungkook and Taehyung step forward to prey the male away from the now beaten alpha.

With much difficulty, they were able to separate the males and Jimin freely let his body be thrown to the ground of the blooming garden.

Moon stared down at them in disappointment, Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi copying its expression as the two younger held Hoseok on their hold with all their strength, their alpha laughing his heart out on the ground with a bloody mouth while his mate just stared in bewilderment.

“You dare manipulate her. I won’t even care if you’re the fucking alpha. I’m gonna kill you with my own bare hands.” Hoseok growls, jerking his body for a release from the tight hold of the two youngers.

Y/n steps in and they all feel her presence by the whiff of a strong female scent that suddenly lingers in the air.

She starts walking towards them and all must have thought that she’ll normally run to her bleeding mate.

Wrong.

She ambles right towards her struggling brother and the fact leaves everyone confused.

Even Jimin slows down his mischievous chuckles.

No female can resist the pull towards their mates, especially when their males are hurt.

“Oppa. It’s alright. It’s alright.” She calms Hoseok down with a soft voice, taking a hold of his hands.

Her touch immediately calms him down and he surprisingly stops struggling.

Jungkook and Taehyung release him and stare down at the small female in shock.

Hoseok was a male who could fuck someone up with just his looks and bright personality, but no one wanted to get on his bad side.

As much as his smile was wide enough to reach his eyes, his mouth was as wide as to tear an individual apart into shreds in seconds.

And she did something not many could do with just a touch and a smile.

“I won’t let him manipulate me. Don’t worry. I’m not that gullible.” She giggles at him and he fully melts into her hold.

Wrapping an arm around her, he suddenly bends all the way down to place his head on her shoulder, his breath heavy as he tries to forget about the now silent male sprawled onto the ground.

Y/n pat his back slowly and a squeal leaves her lips when he suddenly picks her up over his shoulder.

“Come on.” He pats the back of her knees and she giggles even more. “We have a lot to catch up.”

Like he had not just beaten the alpha till bleeding, he turns around with a wide grin and carries her inside.

The six males left alone with the darkness of the night breath out in disbelief.

“Unbelievable..” Yoongi, who has been silently observing and resting his back on the tree with crossed arms shakes his head and directs his eyes down at the silent alpha.

To say that Jimin was left pissed off was an understatement.

Then why did he had that pained expression on his face?

Why did he look so bothered?

Why is he suddenly showing how he feels after closing himself off since the beginning?

Y/n yawns, a hand rubbing the showering sleep out of her eye as the other held a glass under the cooler which poured out water for her.

Her hair was a mess, black shorts drowned in the sea of her cream-coloured oversized sweater, making her look like she wasn’t wearing anything underneath while one of her shoulders was exposed to the air, showing off her black bra strap.

She knew well that she looked extremely unbearable at the moment and stepping out of her room in that state, especially in the presence of male guests, was not a good idea.

But did she care?

Nop! Not at all!

'Screw them all! This is my house.’

“I will advise you to not wear something like that in the presence of so many men in the house.” A voice speaks up from behind, making her flinch in her place.

She holds the glass of water tighter in her palm and turns around to look at the culprit.

The male smiles, arms crossed over his chest as his body was leaned on the wall next to the kitchen door.

Y/n blinks in bewilderment. “What?”

Taehyung shakes his head, discarding her question by greeting her while leaning away from the wall. “Morning to you too, sunshine.”

Y/n furrow her brows in confusion, watching as his figure starts to walk towards her.

She swears she saw his eyes lingering over her.

She takes a step back when he keeps on stepping closer, eyes slowly widening at his decrease of distance while looking so unbothered.

He grins when he senses her body backing away and it makes him keep moving further.

Just as he’s close enough to touch his body with hers, he stops and reaches out his hand behind her.

Y/n’s breath hitch due to his proximity and she feels him grabbing something from the shelf behind her.

Her hands fist tightly on her sides, backing herself away from his reach.

She won’t know what is happening, nor as to why he’s acting like this, but all she’s getting from him is uncanny eerie vibes.

She hasn’t even met him or any of Hoseok’s friends to be this friendly with them and for them to get this close to her.

'Do all the male who is deprived of a female presence for so many years act like this?’

She knows for a fact that the alpha training academy was only organized for males. These boys probably have not seen or interacted with a female for seven years to be this mischievous around them.

They sure are thirsty.

'Just like someone.’ She almost rolls her eyes at the thought of her certain mate.

However, this man sure does takes his time on taking things but thankfully he pulls away.

He shows her the small bowl and a spoon he has just taken and finally moves away from her and walks towards the refrigerator.

Y/n only inhales when he’s far away from her, the soreness in her throats now stretching too much for her to satisfy them with just a glass of water.

She needs air. Fresh air.

“I’m quite surprised actually.” Taehyung pours the cereal into the milk-filled bowl. “You calm Hobi Hyung down really easily last night”

Y/n rise a brow. “Is it suppose to be hard?”

Taehyung chuckles, nodding his head. “You tell me. He wasn’t like that in the academy. Not until he got here….”

His last sentence was a whisper, making it seem as if he didn’t want her to hear it but he purposely said it loud so that they could hit her eardrums.

'This man is so weird…’ She bits the inside of her lips, placing down the filled glass of water on the counter, she starts to skip out of the kitchen.

To be in the suffocating presence of this male is the last thing she wanted to do.

His act might have been not that bold, but his whispering words and lingering eyes made her feel uncomfortable even inside her skin.

“You’re leaving.” His raspy voice makes her halt hallways in her step and a shiver went down her spine when she turns a look at him.

He was smiling and it almost reaches his cheeks, but his eyes made her freeze.

They were wide open, staring at her as if she was something precious, something so delicate to break.

He almost looked crazy.

She gulps, the silence piercing through her body like sharp pins.

She couldn’t move, nor speak.

She felt paralyzed.

For the first time, she was scared.

She wanted to walk out, to get herself out of the sudden dark aura that was now lingering around the whole kitchen.

And as if the moon goddess has listened to her silent prayers, the door of the kitchen slides open, welcoming her one and only mate inside the walls of the warm residence.

Y/n snaps her head towards the door, her breath releasing itself from deep inside her throats in relief.

Jimin looks up from the ground as he enters, his eyes shifting from Taehyung to Y/n.

He stops his gaze on her, orbs darkening immediately as it lingers down her red cheery plump lips, to her pale delicate shoulder blades.

The sight of her black strip peeking out proudly from her sweater and the way her exposed thighs softly press against each other almost makes him groan in delight.

Is she trying to tease him? If yes, then it is working well.

He feels his body getting warmer, a shiver going down his spine to the shapes of butterflies inside his stomach and then further down right in between his legs.

He bits his lips, shamelessly checking her out.

Y/n scrunch up her face, a feeling of disgust lumping in her throats.

She runs a hand through her hair, fully forgetting about the sitting male who was still staring at her with the same expression.

She walks past Jimin, making sure to not touch anything of him as she skips out of the door in utter disgust and disturbance.

'What is wrong with them?’

She keeps walking towards her door, wanting nothing more than to just drawn herself in the dozens of cloths.

Just as she’s close enough to touch her door handle, she feels her body being jerked backwards.

A gasp leaves her lips, instinct caught completely off guards to move away when she feels her back hitting the wall.

“Where do you think you’re going, puppy?” The voice rasps out close to her face as the unknown male roughly pushes his body into hers.

Y/n gasps and felt the unknown male roughly push his body into hers.

Her head spins for a second, her wolf instincts caught completely off guard for her to jerk him away.

His breath hits her left cheek like a soft touch, his leg sneaking in between her knees.

She exhales, eyes wide and unfocused as her wolf whimpers in the corner at the sudden attack.

It’s when the voice of his throaty chuckle hits her eardrums is when she snaps out of her daze and her brows furrow.

She starts to wiggle her body out of his firm hold. “Let go of me.”

The male clicks his tongue. “Little wolves do not talk. They whine, baby. Will you do that for me?”

Y/n scrunch her face in disgust, her hands that were pushing at his chest clenching his shirt. “You psycho. Let me go.”

This cause the male to push his body even further into hers, loving the way she felt against him.

He ignores her jerking and leans in to tuck his nose into her morning bed hair.

He inhales a deep breath and tightens his hold around her waist, feeling his wolf getting excited with just the sight of her.

His close proximate cause her to flinch back, her wiggling and jerking body suddenly weakening.

“Don’t.” She sharply lets out, her sensing high from his alluring scent.

Of course, she had to be affected.

This jerk of a male was her mate.

The one who has succeeded in taking first place in her dislike list in just a few days.

She’s sure if he knew that fact, he will be so proud of his achievement.

“You wouldn’t be here if you have behaved. There are more than enough males in your sweet sweet home and yet you decided to roam around in just that.” His hand sneak up her thigh, halting just at the edge of her black shorts.

Y/n lets out a growl. “I will wear whatever the fuck I want. You have nothing to do with what I decide.”

“Oh but I do, little wolf. I’m your mate. And more than that, I’m your alpha.” He possessively wraps the hand that was playing with the edge of her shorts, around her thigh.

And Y/n flinch back.

“Jimin, No.” She lets her wolf whimper out, her small fist clenching tightly around his shirt.

If this would have acquired more normally then the little devil inside her would have been jumping in joy right now, but this…

This felt so wrong.

He was showering his possession over her in such a way that it scared her to her bones.

He is her mate. He will do anything for her.

But she didn’t know him well enough to know what he’ll do to her.

He suddenly loosens his grip on her, as if the sound of his little mate’s whine has hit his senses.

And it has.

It has hit him deep into his heart and he had immediately pulled away to examine if he was hurting her.

He finally gazes into her light-coloured eyes, the small speckles of gold that were dancing around her irises leaving him in extreme awe.

She was pretty, beautiful even.

Aside from her looks and posture, she has managed to take his breath away by just her smallest of acts.

By the way, her hair sways with the wind as if they were conversing with each other in a subject they’ve been craving for, to the way she simply moves, her smiles, the care in her eyes.

They all reminded him of her bother’s when he first time visited the Alpha academy.

Innocent and pure.

Something he was not. Something he will never be.

Y/n trial her eyes over his features, feeling his head leaning closer to hers.

Everything dims around them as if even the air has stopped its waves to not disturb them.

Jimin drops his eyes on her soft-looking plump lips and he brings his head even closer.

Y/n’s heart skips a beat, glancing at his mouth as well as her head lifted slightly to lean over his touch.

Both of them breathe out against each other, their sighs hitting each other’s cheeks with soft finger pads.

Y/n looks into his eyes again which were still over her lips and she whispers out. “Leave.”

Jimin looks up into her eyes, finding them wavering in slight fear and determination.

After all the time she had seen him act, she’s sure that it will get him a long time to gain her trust.

She might have a lovesick wolf inside her, but she was a woman with a mind.

And she definitely won’t let him play around with her.

And he seems to fully acknowledge that right now.

He brings his head closer to softly bumping their foreheads together before completely pulling away and flashing out, leaving her alone in the empty hallway.

“Unnie, why don’t I have a mate?” Vi leaves Yoongi’s side and comes running towards Y/n with the question and the elder immediately bends down to her height.

Y/n pass a glance at Yoongi who now sat alone, his eyes directed towards them as he anticipates for a reply to the question he had successfully drilled inside Vi’s innocent mind.

“Hm… You do have a mate.” Y/n states, smiling at her little sister as her hands reach out to fix her loose ponytails.

Vi gasps in happiness. “I have a mate?” She questions and turns her head back towards Yoongi and squeals out. “I have a mate.”

She then turns towards Y/n again and furrows her brows. “What’s a mate?”

Yoongi chuckles at the little girl and Y/n follow after him, her eyes shining in amusement.

“Mate is someone who will love you forever and make you happy.” Hoseok shows up behind Y/n and ruffles Vi’s hair.

The little girl part her lips in awe. “Wow. Yoongi Oppa! Tell me more.” She runs back to the elder sitting on the bench in the shadows and the male happily welcomes her with open arms.

Hoseok grins and takes a seat on the blooming grass next to Y/n. “I feel so bad for not being here when she was born. She doesn’t even know me.”

Y/n turns her head towards him and shakes her head. “Don’t be. We always made sure to tell her about you. She might be a little distance right now but she’s a smart girl. She will be sticking to you like glue in some while.”

Hoseok sighs, a sad smile talking over his features as he stares at Vi who seems to behave a serious discussion with Yoongi.

Y/n glance at him, a question bugging her in the tips of her tongue.

She decides to speak up, seeing as they were finally alone.

“Oppa, why were you so mad about him being my mate?”

Hoseok smile drops instantly at the question and Y/n bites her lips.

He seems to dislike Jimin.

Hoseok drops his shoulders and shifts his eyes to hers. “It’s nothing big. It’s just…he’s my friend and you being his mate is kinda…awkward.”

Y/n nods.

If she were to be that dumb main protagonist in a novel then she would have believed that.

But she didn’t.

'Something is going on.’

But she plays along, hoping for him to spill something out.

“It’s not his fault though. We are bonded together since birth. It might be awkward but it’s just how it is.” She states, watching him as he smiles at her, it not reaching his eyes.

'If only you knew, Y/n…’

let me know about your thoughts for the first chapter. happy reading :))

318 notes · View notes

cosmiclatte28 · 4 years

Text

TEMPO (racer reader x sehun, nct, exo) #3

Hi you made it this far...

read the previous chapters here 1 / 2

Meanwhile..

“Yes Kai! It’s a big win tonight. Come on let’s party. Drinks are on Kai tonight!” Baekhyun cheers loudly when Kai returns to them with the money.

“Easy game tonight?” Lay speaks up.

Kai ponders for a moment “It’s a rough game.. I’m surprised by the 127 racer. It’s a girl right? I saw her small body .. I must say she’s a tough one. Though I managed to kick her and made her lost her balance. She fell right before the finish line.”

“Not really a gentleman are you?” Chanyeol teases him. “Anyways it’s a competition. Someone’s bound to win and someone’s bound to lose. Tonight the spotlight is yours! Shall we party?”

Kai, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Lay, and the others made their way to the nearest bar to celebrate Kai’s first win in the new cage.

“I think I saw Sehun earlier.. he has changed! He goes to street racing now.. what is he doing..” Lay blurts out when they finished several bottles down.

“Oh right! You saw him too? I thought I was seeing things.” Kai abruptly sit up straight.

“Maybe it’s someone like Sehun. I don’t think this place is his style.” Baekhyun cuts the wild imaginations and the two men seem to agree they’re just seeing things.

Kai becomes the new star player after (y/n). Because (y/n) is in hiatus.. Kai actually dominates the track. Yuta does beat him in most of the races, but in other programs where Yuta did not sign up, Kai is the favorite player.

Apparently for Kai, the competitors here are too easy for him. He is looking for that one player. The mysterious girl he knocked off on his first race. He knows she’s not playing probably because of what he did, but Kai has never seen her properly. Let alone know her name or status here. Funny how deep in his heart he feels bad whenever he remembers the scene. Kai knows it’s coward for him to kick a girl opponent.. and most importantly she looks smaller than the other players.

After finishing his race, he walks to Kris who acts as his manager and asks “Hyung. Do you know where is the 127 girl that I beat on my first race here?”

“Oh that girl.. she’s on break. Her left hand is fractured.. she’s actually the ace player here before you come.”

“Whose team is she in?” Kai looks around the crowd.

“I’m pretty sure that young boys.. over there.. sharp gazes tight pants leather jackets.. pink and purple hair” Kris points to Taeyong and Jaehyun.

“Wait.. I know them..” Kai puts his vision to the small group. He knows the other two.. it’s Johnny and Yuta.

“Apparently the brunette boy is also their racer for the short track program. He beats you several time right?” Kris shifts his gaze to the small team too.

Kai nods “Yeah. Yuta is a tough racer. Where is their ace.. shouldn’t she come and watch?”

Kris shrugs his shoulder “I don’t know Kai.. anyways I see Sehun was with them on that day.”

Kai freezes in his place. So he and Lay were not seeing things. Sehun was there on that day. Hmm funny how the world makes them see each other again.

“I’m curious. What makes a boy like Sehun jumps into this muddy lifestyle.” Kai grins slyly.

That keeps on going on until one day.. (y/n) is back on track. Kai has his golden opportunity to talk with her and ask her some more about herself. She welcomes him nicely.. without realizing Kai is actually an enemy of Sehun.. the man she starts to grow fond with.

“You’re too young to be here.” Kai puts on his favorite boy mask. I mean he’s a homme fatale. Of course girls will get head over heels for him… and this cute racer in front of him catches his attention since day one.

“That’s what people will always say as their first impression. I’m seventeen. Legal to drive.” She proudly smirks.

Kai chuckles “Let’s make a deal.”

“What deal? I’m on for challenges.” She arrogantly folds her hand on her chest.

It’s been a while since someone dares to challenge and mess up with her.. people all stop challenging her when they know the real color of this cute girl. Plus Kai looks tempting and nice.

“We play fair and square tonight. If you win I’ll let you do what you want.. if I win.. you’ll do what I want you to do.” Kai raises his brow.

“Does that means you’re ready to be my personal butler? I really need one right now and you look perfect!” She puts on her cat eyes. Kai definitely curses in his heart when he melts at those eyes.

He sighs. Of course her bets will be something silly like this.. she’s seventeen after all. What do you expect Kai.

He sighs “Okay. And if I win.. you’ll do what I want. I’ll think about it later.”

“Don’t bother thinking. You’ll be my butler! For a whole month! Be prepared Kai.” She playfully pinches his cheek and walks away to Sehun. Kai’s eyes follow her and he smiles in secret when he sees Sehun.

Old friend he missed. Is there any way to annoy him again? Maybe by winning the race and force her to be his girl? Or just by losing and being her personal butler. That means Kai will have more time with her than Sehun did right? And with his skills he can make sure Sehun knows about it and gets jealous.

Kai laughs hysterically to himself and make his way to his team. He told them to bet low on him, tonight he has a plan. The whole team just follow his words. They know Kai is probably up for a silly business deals he made for fun.

The race starts, after a secret goodluck kiss from Sehun, (y/n) sits on her bike and glances at Kai. She growls her engine and winks when the MC queue the count down. The number hits one and they all push their gas to the limit.

Tonight marks the first return of the Ace Queen (y/n) and she lives to her name. The money tonight is a huge amount, people are excited seeing Kai and (y/n) in the race together once again.. the fact that she wins brings her over the moon, not because of the money, but the silly deal she made with Kai.

She quickly slips away when no one is watching and Kai sees her move, so he swiftly make his way too. The two meet again on the same quiet spot they talked earlier.

“Congratulations Ace! You really played nice today. I’m sad yet honored to lose before you.” Kai jokingly gets down on one of his knee and looks deep into her eyes.

She blushes from the intense stare. Kai is really attractive and cool. Different from Sehun who makes her feel comfortable, she feels a burning desire in her heart and turning stomach whenever Kai throws her that smoldering look.

“Okay Kai! You’re officially my butler for one month! Give me your number.”

“Eager are we? Smooth way to get my number.” Kai winks.

“Not that! I need your number to call you if I need anything.” Kai inputs his number to her phone and place it under the name Kai, “Perfect! Now get ready to answer my calls in random times. We should meet to make more agreements. I don’t want my butler to be lazy and a handful.”

Kai begins to regret his choice. If she’s only bossing over him, where’s the fun? But he’ll see how this go.

“Alright Kai oppa.. see you!” she waves her hand and jogs to her team.

Kai happily descends to his friends and acts like nothing happens.

(y/n) keeps the deal in secret. The whole world knows if Jaehyun heard this, he won’t allow his sister to have a butler like Kai. Come on people like Jaehyun knows how dangerous Kai and his populations are. So she keeps it low to herself.

(y/n) POV

I return to my small apartment alone. My friends live in another floor, but I have a small studio for myself. Maybe because I enjoy living alone with my mess. Oh yeah Jaehyun has been lecturing me about cleaning my room, but I’m a busy girl. I have no time to clean my mess. Morning until noon I study at school, then I have a lesson date with Sehun (since he treated me every time.. I cannot turn the offer down.. it’s a good way to save money) then at night I have to study for my tests and do my works just to make it in time to race the night and earn my money. Then I will go home, smoke a bit, and sleep my 6 hours sleep and wake up and repeat the cycle. Except some days I don’t race.

So having Kai as my butler.. means a free house cleaner, chef, and laundry man.

I welcome him on a peaceful Monday night. He shows up by 7 and we agree on our rules.

“No feelings attached… no complaining… no sleeping in my room… and no inappropriate acts.”

He easily agrees and I told him he will have to help me for my cleaning, laundry, and maybe cooking. But turns out he can’t cook, so I have to cook by myself to avoid food poisoning.

“(Y/n) I swear.. your room is super unlike you. How can a cute girl like you live in this dirty room?!” Kai is shocked when he needs to start cleaning.

I shrug my shoulder as I pick one stick of cigarette and lights it up “I’m busy.. and I have not enough time to clean up.”

Kai stops his activity of vacuuming when he sees me blows a smoke “You.. you even smoke!”

I Roll my eyes “Like you yourself don’t… come on Kai.. you’re not my boyfriend or my father.. don’t lecture me.”

“I mean.. I did not expect anything like this coming from you..” He continues vacuuming.

I grin “Nice. That means you will not try to win my heart. A good sign.. I can sleep peacefully without worrying you will take the chance to fuck me.”

Kai smirks “Be careful.. I never said I don’t like girls like that.. besides these things might have turned me on.”

I Hit his back “Cut it off. There’s more to do.”

After vacuuming the floors, he cleans up the cigarette buds while wondering “Do you really finish this much? It’s like two box worth of buds..”

“No.. my brother and his friends sometimes come here.. they smoke too.. plus my friends.. everyone leaves their buds here.. so don’t think I’m that maniac. I have to live a week with this one box.. my money is limited to number of races I won remember?”

Kai seems to get it now.. that I am living half independently. My parents are still funding my tuition fees and apartment rental costs, but for my exclusives I have to earn my own money.

“Why don’t you share a room with your brother? I heard he’s a tidy guy.” Kai actually knows Jaehyun and the others: they were once on the same dance group, but Kai left to focus on his racing more.

“Seriously.. they share a house for 4 people. I have no more space. And I am not living with those loud boys. I mean I also can’t live peacefully seeing Taeyong’s handsome face.. Yuta’s smile and Johnny’s attention. I’ll fail all my tests and make it awkward. “

Kai laughs at my tacky remarks. But deep inside his heart, Kai finds this small girl interesting and challenging.

They talk more and laugh about many different things. She told Kai that for the laundry, she has separated the piles of the private ones and the ones he can clean. She told him which basket he has to take for laundry, the soap and softener she likes, and Kai notes how adorable she is when she gets happy over small things : like the smell of her softener.

“Which floor is it again?”

“Fifth floor. Now go. I’ll cook us some ramyeon. I’m sure you’re hungry.. besides you did quite well.”

Kai finds her unique and adorable rather than annoying. He sees her as the living proof of younger sister he had always imagined. Cute but at the same time sassy and playful.

After an hour, he returns with a pile of clean and fresh laundry. She also finishes cooking the meal and welcomes Kai to sit across her.

“Thanks! I thought you’ll let me eat on the floor.”

she laughs “Aigo.. I’m not that mean. Let’s eat.”

They dig in and afterwards the clock shows it’s already 9.30. Kai knows the rule, he got to go home. That’s the manners. She offers him a cigarette and he accepts it. With that one lighted bar, Kai goes home with a warm heart and big smile.

ON the other hand, (y/n) is busy replying the texts Sehun sent but she did not reply before.

Chapter 4

#sehun x you #sehun x reader #sehun imagine #tempo #yuta #jaehyun #johnny #kai #taeyong #jaehyun x reader #taeyong x reader #nct fanfic #nct imagines #exo imagines #exo fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct imagine masterlist #nct #exo

10 notes · View notes

rhiminee · 4 years

Text

Therapy Sessions: Track by track feels

So ok I’ve had time to listen to David’s new album *mumble hundred* times since it came out earlier this week and I think I finally am ready to share my thoughts and feelings as I listen to each song. Sorry this took a few days. I’ve had some personal things going on and I wanted to be in a clearer state of mind before I wrote all this down. :) Here we go!!!

Track 1 - Paralyzed

This song. This song is like a whole different side of David. I honestly don’t usually have favorites of any album but this song is such a favorite of mine. I almost don’t think it’s fair because this is the only song off the album that I’ve seen him perform in concert and that’s a huge factor for me. He SLAYS this live. It’s been out since last August and it’s so next level. It’s almost like it comes from another universe??? Not that there’s a single thing wrong with the rest of the album it’s just that this song is WOW. Its like its own entity. It’s a banger and an anthem and I could listen to it 24/7. David wails on it and you feel every second with a sense of urgency. Honestly one of my favorite things he’s ever done. Wait. Change that. It’s my favorite song he’s ever done. Period.

Track 2 - You Worry

This title is such a false lead! lol. I thought ok this is gonna be about trying to control your worries and how to be positive, etc. But spoiler alert: David Archuleta is a sneaky cupcake. DON’T YOU WORRY BOUT ME. icu what you did there David. This song is just such a mood. It starts off kinda slow but then it kicks up after the first verse and you know David is messing with you. It’s almost got a reggae type chill vibe to it with the ya-da-da-da-da and the melody. Or maybe that’s just me. “I’ve got my reasons why I am the way I am, so don’t you worry me”. “Living life in a bubble still comes with it’s troubles, I’ve still got a lot to learn about me but that’s ok.” This reminds me of a more mature version of Other Things In Sight from his last album. Like he was a bit bothered in OTIS but now he’s just like whatev. lol. I love it!! One of my faves from this album.

Track 3 - Ok, All Right

This is the 2nd of 3 songs on this album that we had already heard when the album was released. This song is fun and a good mantra for 2020 to try to keep ourselves sane. We need it. I like the sassiness of this and the unexpected changes in melody! David did an acoustic version of it during his launch party that I’m fully 100% in deep love with. Check it out if you get a chance.

Track 4 - Patient

Oh hi, song that I love! I don’t know why I love this so much but I would put it in my top songs on the album. Maybe it’s the stutter singing (is that what you call it??? Le-le-le-le-le-let me know) it makes my heart feel joyful. “I tell myself remember, remember to breathe, I’m trying to be patient, so won’t you please be patient, be patient with me” “Jump the gun, tend to run off at the mouth, I see that it’s in your eyes” “Find the beauty in the letting go, hurry up and learn to take it slow”. It’s almost got a bit of an R&B feel to it. Is that just me?? Maybe it’s just me. I have a pure love for this song. It just makes me so happy listening to it.

Track 5 - Need

This one of only two slower tempo songs on the album (Just Breathe is the other). David uses his lower register, especially in the first verse. Honestly when this song started I was like...is this a duet? Who is singing? Lmao. It was David. In addition to it being a lower register there’s almost a bit of a slurry quality to his pronunciation when he sings here. Or maybe it’s an overlay for the song? Idk. His voice just sounds different to me here. I’m gonna be honest and say this is my least favorite track on the album. Maybe I need to listen more. It’s not a bad song, just not my vibe and the vocals throw me off a bit. Listen and let me know what y’all think!

Track 6 - Brave

This song is such a change of pace from the previous one! It’s got an intriguing percussive cadence in the beginning, fast singing with short phrases and then bursts out into long soaring notes in the chorus, braaaaaaaaaaave!! It’s also has the honor of containing the lyric “bit me in the butt” and I laughed so hard I had had to start the song over. I really like this one!

Track 7 - Good in the Bad

THIS SONG. I wasn’t sure what to think the first time I listened. My brain was like, do I like this? Then the second time I was like, ok yeah. Then the third time and the next 500 times I was like, hi you are my true love. Seriously my level of obsession with this song now. If Paralyzed wasn’t on this album this would be my favorite song. I don’t think Paralyzed should count because yeah it’s a phenomenon and should not be compared to anything else. So. This is my favorite song on the album. I love love love love it. I can’t stop listening. “When it all goes wrong and you’re having a moment, you got to go all out, go bring back the sun out. And if it all goes wrong and you’re living in darkness, well that’s the only way the stars can shine” YES SIR “Fear is like a magnet that keeps pulling you down, so take another look because yeah it won’t take you long, give a break to your mind”. I don’t know why this song speaks so much to me but it does. Maybe because I tend to get stuck worrying about worst case and bad things that could happen and have happened. I know you can’t just ignore that stuff but idk this song just hit me different. Also the cadence and beat really drives the message. I just love everything about it.

Track 8 - Switch

Omg yep. #2 fav song after Good in the Bad. This is such an earworm! Honestly very radio friendly song. “why do i do that why do i do that” that hook. I always hit the switch and the tables start to flip, then the walls come up again, the beginning starts to end. why do i do that. Y’all. I feel that on every level. You need this song in your life. Along with Paralyzed it’s one of only two songs on this album that’s just plainly stating here’s my problem without offering a solution or “hey it’s ok we’re all like that”. I appreciate that David offers these songs too. I know and completely understand that for him music is about offering a message and hope and help to others. That’s one thing I love so much about him. But I also like that sometimes he just says here’s my issues. The humanity jumped out, that sometimes we’re just critical of ourselves without positive thoughts. Sometimes you just wanna be sad or mad at yourself. There’s time later to re-focus. It’s ok to just claim that personal honesty for a bit. If that even makes sense. But yeah. Love love this song. It’s a true jam.

Track 9 - Just Breathe

This song is like a bath in warm silk after you’ve been cold and lonely. It’s an experience. It’s like meditation in song form. Refreshing and hypnotizing. ‘I am not weak I am strong, there is still more I can offer. Someday you’ll see the better version of me. When it all stops spinning, when it all slows down. I was swimming deeper but I didn’t drown. Just breathe. So I open up to the flow and learn to love you as we go, until I don’t think I just know.’ It’s like a midsummer night’s dream in song form. <3

Track 10 - Future Self

So true and surprisingly funny! This is such a quirky song. Any song that references reddit and smash bros gets an A+ in my book lol. I was surprised because a lot of times the last track is kind of a throw way imho but this one had me smiling and bopping! It’s a love letter to finding yourself and being kind to yourself.

Final thoughts:

You guys are gonna laugh because I feel like I say this anytime a new album comes out but I honestly think this is my favorite album that David has ever done. It’s cohesive and fun to listen to and says a lot without being too heavy. It’s so awesome to see the progression in David’s music but even more so to know it’s a reflection of the progression in his life. He’s not afraid to say he’s got issues but he has been working hard on facing those and making strides. It shows in his music. I feel a sense of joy I haven’t heard before. This album is so good. The production quality, the vocals are on point, the beats are stellar. Please check it out if you haven’t already!

http://lnkfi.re/TherapySessions

#david archuleta #therapy sessions #this album is amazing #thoughts and feels #lots of words #my wrists got sore typing all this

17 notes · View notes

notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

Note

I don't know if I'm the only one, but I love she li character. I'm totally against what he's done to mo and he should be held accountable, but I still love his character and want to know more about him. His first fight with he tian, I was so curious to know why he seemed to enjoy it and even licking the blood from his lip, from then on I wanted to know his story. And I dont think he should be paired up with someone in the story it would ruin his whole esthetic. what are your thoughts about him?

Hello, dear anon!

This answer could weird out some people, so...Uh. Consider yourselves warned, I guess? It’s pretty much downhill from here on.

I’m sorry it took me so long to get to your ask. Thank you for your patience!

Do I have thoughts about SL? ...Let’s just say “a lot” is the answer:

My favorite 19 Days character(s)

My favorite 19 Days chapter(s)

SL’s bracelet

SL’s lip piercing

SL and ships:

My 19 Days NOTP (why I don’t ship MGS and SL)

My thoughts on SL and JY

My thoughts on SL and JY (vol. 2)

My thoughts on SL and HC

My thoughts on SL and Cuntou (Buzzcut)

My thoughts on SL’s sexuality

SL and MGS’s story:

Backstory revelation

SL and MGS’s development (the beginning vs. the train station scene)

That’s quite a reading list, but if you’re interested in my SL-related thoughts and mullings, I recommend checking out those previous posts. It’s possible I will repeat some things I’ve already talked about but this time I’m not going to give an overall brief summary. It would probably end up being anything but brief.

“I'm totally against what he's done to mo and he should be held accountable, but I still love his character and want to know more about him.”

This is partly why I’m hesitant to say I love SL’s character because I feel like I have to follow that with a small disclaimer that no, I don’t condone his behavior. I find him endlessly intriguing, complex, and layered. Every time he appears I never know what will happen and he always instantly steals the scene for me. I’m drawn to his darkness and disturbed, impossible-to-predict ruthlessness.

In addition to that, my “love” for him also goes deeper. I always feel like a weirdo talking about this but I see some of myself and my own shortcomings in SL’s character. Jealousy and envy. The misery loves company mentality. I don’t go around manipulating and threatening people but on some morbid level, his character allows me to go to that dark place and almost relish in all the disturbing thoughts I can muster. To me, some of the rawest and primitive parts of human nature are embodied and amplified in his character.

“His first fight with he tian, I was so curious to know why he seemed to enjoy it and even licking the blood from his lip, from then on I wanted to know his story.”

SL almost enjoying the fight and licking the blood are interesting notions that I haven’t really thought of before (ch. 184):

I’m glad you brought this up because I’ve been wanting to talk about SL and fighting ever since MGS mentioned how SL had a reputation of being “very vicious in fights” (ch. 319). I saw people thinking that was because of his Guillain–Barré syndrome. And sure, I’m not saying that couldn’t be the reason or a part of it. After all, we don’t know how far along his treatment was by that time. If you don’t feel pain as well as others, I can imagine you’re more fearless in fights.

However, I think his “viciousness” was more about SL’s overall nature. I mean, he picked up a heavy whiskey bottle and smashed someone in the head with it and didn’t seem to even blink. He was unpredictable and didn’t shy away from taking things further than probably most kids his age. Nothing was really off-limits for SL and whoever opposed him could never know what his next move would be. If you’re fighting someone and they lick their own blood - looking like they’re almost savoring the taste - I think you might want to start coming up with an exit plan. SL has a disturbing, cold-blooded aura as a fighter, and cruel, dirty violence is his style.

I’m also interested in MGS mentioning SL had transferred schools. We don’t know if he already had group-affiliations in his new school but imagine if he didn’t. Did he take over a group as an outsider by vicious violence? Did he make his own group from scratch?

“I dont think he should be paired up with someone in the story it would ruin his whole esthetic”

I don’t personally ship SL with anyone “in canon” as in I don’t think he has canonical romantic/sexual feelings for anyone in the comic. I don’t interpret his possessive behavior with MGS as romantic jealousy. Nor do I think he’s interested in JY in a romantic way. That being said, I do believe anyone is free to ship whatever they and however they want, so I don’t know about “shouldn’t be paired up with someone”.

But I think I get what you mean. I think if he had romantic feelings for someone we’re familiar with in the comic it would skew his character. “Interrupt” him, in a way. I’m not saying SL couldn’t be in a romantic relationship or even love someone but I’m not sure if that kind of “side-track” would quite fit how his role in the story has been built up so far. I would love to see more sides to him, but romantic love would feel too forced. It would kind of make me tilt my head and go “huh?”.

I feel the same way about his redemption. Again, I would love to know more about him and what’s going on in his head and heart and life general. What made him like this and what makes him tick. But I don’t know if I want him to be redeemed that way in the boys’ eyes. I kind of want him to stay as the villain to them. If they somehow started to see SL from a different light, it would kind of make his character “hollow” and crumble in on itself.

As far as my ships for SL go, I ship him with Cuntou (MGS’s Buzzcut friend) and HC. However, those ships are purely “AUs” in my head in a sense that I know they have no base in canon. I basically run with the characters and the scenarios build for them are for my own self-indulgence.

Because I couldn’t really give you any new “thoughts” but a reading list instead, let me try to make it up by raving about some of my favorite SL panels:

“We are here” (ch. 178):

I’ve always wondered what kind of an underling SL is. He might be the leader of his own group at school, but even SL must have a boss. Especially given that organized groups are heavily based on hierarchy and seniority.

But I can’t help but wonder how that kind of power dynamic works with SL. What do his superiors think about him? Do they know about his disturbing, unpredictable side? Do they feel like they have control over him? Have they ever taken advantage of his vicious side and kind of “let him loose”? Does his boss know how to handle him? And what about SL’s POV: Does he respect his superiors or just does what he’s told? What could make his obedience stop? What he would do if his superiors insulted him or somehow screwed him over?

Either way, I’m fascinated by seeing SL in a submissive position, taking orders from someone else.

“Jian Yi? Is it...” (ch. 179):

The thing I love about this panel is the tempo/rhythm/whatever-you-call-it of SL’s words. I can hear how he said them in my head. Where he paused and let there be a moment of silence that kind of rearranged the dynamic of the situation. JY had barged in and momentarily stolen the flow and control. He went all out talking back to SL and pointing him and being all JY-y. That little tilt of SL’s head, that short pause he had kind of flipped it back SL being in control. When he says “Jian Yi? Is it...” it has a dangerous vibe. As in, “Are you really sure you want me to notice you?”. That is a question asked by someone who’s mentally in control of the situation.

I can hear those speech bubbles in my head.

“Lick it clean for me” (ch. 203):

Do I even need to justify why I love this panel?

Aside from the obvious, I love this panel because it gives me strong “zero fucks given” vibes. I doubt SL was expecting JY to obey him but saying that kind of stuff fits his character perfectly. Unpredictable and difficult to tell if he’s being serious or not.

Thrown out (ch. 249):

This panel will never not amuse me. Every time I see them being thrown out like that, especially SL, I hear a “Pew!” bing in my head. Like the nurse had flicked them with her middle finger and thumb and shot them out of the room.

Pouring Coke (ch. 267):

Another panel that makes me think about SL being in a submissive position, overpowered. The idea of overpowering and submitting his kind of crazy fascinates me. A part of me wants to see him dominated, sullied, and made to take it. (Just to make sure I’m not misunderstood, I don’t mean “it” in a sexual way.) Like, I imagine the carbonated Coke stinging in his eyes. It’s more foam and fizz than actual liquid as it pours down his face. It makes him uncomfortable and wanting to try to wipe it off with his shoulder when the trickles slide down the side of his neck but he can’t. When Coke is spilled like that it goes from a nice, enjoyable beverage to a sickly sweet, sticky substance that kind of grosses you out.

This is a panel that always makes me think of shipping SL with HC.

[...I warned you it would get weird.]

Wandering in the hospital (ch. 294):

If you weren’t weirded out enough yet...

Every time I see these panels I’m reminded of being like that as a child. I remember my grandparents sometimes had to stay at the hospital when they got sick. When I went to visit them with my mom I had this habit of wandering off by myself. I could walk the ward through multiple times and just...kind of...be morbidly interested in watching the sick people in their beds. And of course, as a kid, I had no problem with openly staring at them, too. The sicker, the better. I wanted to see tubes going in and out of body orifices, wounds and stitches, bandages that have that faint shine of blood seeping through on the back when they’re due to a change. If you gave me an old person just laying in bed with their mouth open and not even being in this world anymore because they’re so old and ill, you could just sit me down and go take care of whatever parents need to take care of.

I’m not saying SL was like that but him silently wandering off always reminds me of how I was a kid.

Encounter (ch. 294):

I’ve talked about this panel quite a lot already, so I won’t go into it more in this answer. But I will say it’s probably my most favorite panel of the whole comic.

“I almost forgot” (ch. 317):

As weird as it sounds to point this out when talking about SL’s character, but I think SL was lying in this panel. Although, I guess a better way to put it would be to say it wasn’t his “usual” lying. I think he was lying about forgetting he had given MGS the piercings to make it look like he didn’t care about such trivial matters. That violating MGS like that and basically marking him as his property hadn’t meant anything to him. Seeing MGS wear HT’s earrings irked him but he’s lying about it. MGS inching further and further away from SL’s grasp is getting to him but I think this was the first time he’s trying to hide it.

Because I believe he remembers piercing MGS. I bet he remembers it vividly.

I think this panel and the way he lashed out at HT with the knife without having any regard for the consequences are interesting details that maybe SL’s mask is slipping. He’s getting more out of control. Almost desperate, I would say.

So yeah, I would say I have a few thoughts about SL.

Thank you for your question, dear anon! And for your patience as well.

#19 days #she li #answered ask #I didn't expect this to get so long...#given that I've ranted about him so much already

18 notes · View notes

yilingradishfairy · 5 years

Link

The Gusu Lan are said to have an innate connection with music. The Gusu Lan are also said to love deeply – with their whole soul – so deeply that they seem to only be able to fall in love once.

Lan Wangji knows these rumours. He also knows the truth, or close to it, as it has been handed down through the generations. Their connection to music runs far deeper than the other sects could dream. Every Lan heart contains a song, a musical piece that encapsulates the very fiber of their being, and it only comes to life under a specific set of circumstances. The parameters to unlock your heartsong are highly disputed, but the generally accepted condition to fill is … to meet your soulmate.

—-

For Wangji Week 2020

Day 2 – Music

Hello, I am so excited to contribute my first fic to the MDZS fandom! Happy Birthday, Lan Wangji!

A/N: I have no experience or knowledge of how to write a song. Also, I haven’t read the novel yet, so the timeline of events is based on the Untamed (2019). The concept of the heartsong was inspired by Attainment, written by Christian Richtown.

It happened on the first day that cultivators from all sects began to arrive in Gusu. With the sheer numbers of strangers shoved into close proximity to Lan Wangji, it is not unreasonable to think that he might meet his soulmate then. When he felt the first piece of his heartsong, when the same four notes played themselves for him over and again, he thought surely it could be any of the hundreds of students that had arrived in droves this morning to study the Lan principles. Lan Wangji carefully combed through the mental list he had compiled of newly arrived students. Surely it could be any of them, he reasoned. Or even one who had escorted a student but was not necessarily a student themselves.

But truly, he knew in his heart when it had happened.

He knew exactly who had unlocked his heartsong.

When he had first felt the stirrings of a song, he had ignored it. A man of few words, Lan Wangji preferred to communicate through action or through song. A true Lan, he was well versed in the art of writing songs. He had written one for every thought he could not voice, for every wish that was too large for words. So when the notes began to fill his heart, he gave them little thought. He was too busy silencing this noisy troublemaker who had the audacity to try to enter the Cloud Recesses without his pass.

But the second time that the notes rose in Lan Wangji’s heart, he had to give them his attention. For it was the dead of night, there was only one person before him, and it was oh so quiet. The only sound other than the weak strains of his heart song was the whisper of the night wind … until the troublemaker replaced the peace with the sound of his noisy babble.

Then, there were the sounds of a fight: swords clanging, fabric rustling, and hearts beating together in an intricate dance. The notes helpfully played themselves along to the rhythm of their struggle.

Finally, the sound of a jar shattering pierced through the rest of the noise. Lan Wangji felt he should have been able to savor the victory, but he could not think with all the noise that this recalcitrant pest, his apparent soulmate, had caused. He put the rowdy student under another silencing spell to cease his chatter, but he could do nothing to drown out the song in his heart.

---

Lan Wangji had heard that the heartsong was not quick to reveal itself. A few notes at first meeting, then a few more the next, and a few more the next, and on it goes. However, given that they sit across the aisle from each other every day during the teaching, Lan Wangji has learned an entire stanza by the end of the month. This was, of course, exacerbated by the fact that he spent his free time babysitting the nuisance during his punishments in the Library Pavilion, but Lan Wangji could not stopper his curiosity. Who was this Wei Wuxian, this unpredictable trickster? Who was he truly, that he should be Lan Wangji’s soulmate? Sometimes, he thought he could understand, thought he saw through his flashy tricks, thought he had glimpsed the heart beneath all his affectations, but this troublemaker always found a way to turn it into a joke, to turn him into a joke.

Once again, Lan Wangji stormed out of the Pavilion. Surely this delinquent cannot be the perfect other half of him, the mate of his soul. He must be misinterpreting the cues. After all, the heartsong is an old and mysterious phenomenon that no one truly understood. He pored through the old family journals, searching for even a mention of the heartsong. He looked into the origins, paramaters, and interpretations of the heartsong, but the ancient texts were decidedly unhelpful. Each ancestor had wildly contrasting opinions with no basis in fact, while what little conclusive evidence existed was highly disputed. However, every ancestor seemed to agree that ignoring the call of the heartsong was foolish. Even the cultivators that had initially shared his doubts of soulmates and heartsongs eventually changed their tune.

Except for Lan Yi. She was the only Lan on record to have resisted the mate to her soul and the song in her heart. However, Lan Yi had mysteriously disappeared sometime after battling her soulmate, and the texts were maddeningly vague as to the circumstances of their dispute or even the identity of her soulmate. Of course, when Lan Yi shared her story in the Cold Pool, it was all too apparent. Lan Yi had chosen the call of the Stygian over the call of her heartsong, of her soulmate. But she failed in her attempts to purify it, as Baoshan Sanren had feared. Lan Yi’s actions forced her soulmate into seclusion. Plagued by remorse, Lan Yi was too ashamed to face her. Instead, she devoted the rest of her life to containing that dangerous relic. Alone.

Lan Yi now entrusted the Stygian metal to him, no, to them, because of course Wei Wuxian was with Lan Wangji at a time like this. He was always with him; he refused to leave him alone. His ancestor glanced pointedly at the pair, at the sacred forehead ribbon that tied them together, at the protection Lan Wangji had bestowed upon this foreign cultivator. Wei Wuxian continued to theorize about the Stygian metal, unaware of the significance of the ribbon wrapped around his wrist, ignorant of what he had truly asked of Lan Wangji. The Second Jade watched his ancestor come to her own conclusion about the grandstudent of Baoshan Sanren, and she turned again to her descendant. She smiled with approval and a touch of wistfulness. Do not make the same mistakes I did, her sad smile seemed to say. Do not let him go.

Lan Wangji stole a glance at the troublemaker beside him, who had barreled his way into his life and refused to leave. He moved his gaze to the ribbon between them, thinking of all the things it meant. And he felt something inside him settle. This troublemaker beside him was somehow the other half of his soul, something his heart had recognized while his head did not. He did not know why Wei Wuxian was his soulmate but maybe that was not for him to know. If destiny knew they should stay side by side, if even Wei Wuxian knew somehow that his place was beside him, Lan Wangji would also stay in his place beside him, and perhaps that would be enough. Frenzied notes surged through his heart, breaking into a poignant crescendo. His heartsong trilled happily with the new addition, almost as if rewarding him for his decision.

---

The only time Lan Wangji's heartsong had gone quiet since he had met his soulmate was after the Cloud Recesses was attacked. Or maybe it wasn't that it stopped, but that he was deaf to it. Grief rose up, clear and cold, and shut off every previous emotion he had pretended not to have. The desecration of his home, the deaths of his people, and the loss of his brother hurt too acutely. The grief song he composed was violent and aching and drowned out all other songs in his heart.

But then, hope bloomed in the snow. The second he limped into Qishan Wen and heard his soulmate relentlessly calling his name, his heartsong came roaring back at a volume that made him physically wince. Another entire stanza has been added to the song. He did his best to ignore it, this time for Wei Ying's sake and not his own. But allowing Wen Chao to torment Wei Ying was something he simply could not do. He stepped in front of his soulmate and intercepted Wen Chao’s whip. But Wei Ying seemed to have it in his mind that he should be the one protecting Lan Wangji. He insisted that Lan Wangji stand down and willingly went to the dungeons. He offered him medicines and orchestrated rest stops, even going so far as to offer to carry him on his back. And for every time Wei Ying approached him during captivity – for every way he tried to protect him – his heartsong added another note.

Finally, cradling his wounded soulmate in the depths of the monster’s cave, Lan Wangji felt his heartsong complete. As he funneled healing energy into the feverish Wei Ying, praying that he would live, he hummed the newly completed melody to his soulmate, though he had long since passed out. Lan Wangji’s voice was rusty and uneven from disuse; he is far more comfortable creating music with his fingers. But Wei Ying had asked. So Wei Ying received.

---

Evidently, even a finished heartsong is always changing. The moment he heard of the attack on Yunmeng Jiang, his heart skipped a beat. His heartsong skipped a note. The tempo of the melody kicked up and played in a panicked refrain until Lan Wangji could find better news. When he found Jiang Wanyin, alive but frantically searching for his adopted brother, the notes calmed down and instead turned anxious and dreading.

Finally, they solved the mystery of the Wen-torturer's identity and Wei Ying's disappearance, and Lan Wangji could breathe again. But, his heartsong would never be restored to its original form, for it changed again. Chenqing, the dizi that Lan Wangji had never known Wei Ying could play, single-handedly rearranged his entire heartsong ... into a duet.

During the anxious months without Wei Ying, Lan Wangji had started to play his heartsong to himself on his guqin as a comfort. But now, he will never be able to fully match all of the notes now. Not without the assistance of his soulmate.

Still, during the dark time Wei Ying spent in self-appointed exile at Yiling, the familiar melodies of his heartsong soothed Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji struggled with what to do. He wanted to drag Wei Ying to Gusu to be with him. He wanted to run away to Yiling to be with Wei Ying. He wanted to charge into Carp Tower and fight every lotus eater that dared to think themselves better than Wei Ying. But Lan Wangji practiced that acclaimed Lan restraint and did none of these things.

---

And he regretted it. Oh, how he regretted his inaction. While his ancestor had lost her soulmate to her actions, he lost his soulmate to his own inaction. His brother disagreed, but Lan Wangji could not shake the weight of it from his shoulders. The moment his soulmate had plummeted off the cliff at Nightless City, and his heart with him, Lan Wangji's heartsong went silent. The pain, the emptiness, the loneliness of losing the song in his heart, the mate to his soul, almost made him want to give up on living. Many other Lan cultivators throughout history, after losing their soulmate, met their end tragically. The Gusu Lan are known to love deeply, but theirs is a tragic kind of love. A once-in-a-lifetime love that, once lost, always tears them apart.

A/N: Whoo, I had no idea it would be this long! I didn’t even mention like every emotional moment that WangXian had before the Bloodbath at Nightless City and how it affected LWJ’s heartsong (there are so many of them, I didn’t even try).

So I hope you enjoyed the ride! I’ve got a little bit more to say on this subject, and it happens to coincide with tomorrow’s prompts Loss and Recovery! If you enjoyed this, please let me know what you thought!

#wangjiweek2020 #happybdaylwj2020 #cql #cql fic #mdzs fic #lan wangji #fictional birthday #heartsong #soulmate au #my writing

21 notes · View notes

brownhardyho · 5 years

Text

Roommates - Part Four (1st half)

Ben X Reader roommate collab series

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A/N: I’M BAAACK! Y’all I’m so sorry it took me so freaking long to finally write this! Life has been a lil crazy, but I really hope this was worth the wait!

(P.S the reason why I split Part 4 into 2 parts is because it’s been a HOT minute since I wrote a Ben fic and I’m one wordy bitch and have a new found appreciation for suspense. K BAIII)

So this series is the brainchild of mine and @wanderlustandsmut’s shared frustration of Ben muthafuckin Hardy. Honest to God, we basically talk daily about Ben so we took this concept to the next level and decided to write about it! Previous parts have been linked above, hope you all enjoy!

Premise: Ben X Reader are roommates and childhood friends…What happens when their mostly platonic relationship turns sexual??

Warnings: Fluff, a lil smutty goodness

Word Count: 2,234 (she’s long fam)

With the heavy bass of Saweetie’s summer anthem My Type lowly pounding on the walls of you and Ben’s humble abode, you bob your head to the catchy beat as you make your way across your room to get your outfit of the night. The excitement of having a date tonight was strong enough to damper your stay in tendencies, work has kept you very busy recently and Ben had been away for a month doing interviews and attending fashion shows. It had been a couple weeks since you and Ben’s intimate romp on the couch and you had not gotten any since (so to speak). So to say that you were excited to go out tonight was a bit of an understatement.

Even though you hadn’t seen Ben in person for a while, it’s not like you haven’t been in touch. Quite the opposite actually; you both text each other almost everyday, sending each other funny memes and reminders, because that’s obviously what roommates do!

Slipping on your favorite red lacy bralette and thong set, you smooth on your warm coconut scented lotions across your freshly washed body. With the potential of actually getting laid tonight, you were not playing around. Just as you were about to put the new black body con dress, your thoughts were interrupted by the ping alert on your phone. Clicking it on and glancing down at who sent you the message, your face falls into a frown immediately when you read the words:

So sorry to do this, but something came up and I have to cancel on dinner tonight! Let’s take a raincheck?

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” you exasperate out loud, feeling severely annoyed at the situation. You had met this guy on Bumble a few weeks prior, and really hit it off. The guy had pursued you first by initiating the conversation. You both had similar tastes in music and travel and even talked about pet peeves. This guy already knew you had no patience for people that wasted your time so the fact that he pulled this shit on you more than peeved you.

“Boy bye! You are cancelled!” You say to yourself as you delete his number from your phone, not feeling guilty at all for ghosting him. With the slight disruption to your night plans, you turn up the volume of the music and dance your way into the kitchen, your mind set on making brownies, cuz what better way to spend a night in than wearing lingerie, dancing carelessly, while making sweet treats?

The brownie batter was made in record time, with the recipe ingrained into your mind and the sheer determination of living your best life powering the night, you were on a roll and you showed no signs of slowing down.

Balancing the pan with the brownies in your hands, you swayed your hips to the beat of the tempo, squatting lower to the ground to place said pan into the preheated oven. You shut the oven door, singing along to the song, turning around eyes widening in pure surprise.

You are greeted to the sight of Ben, looking especially gorgeous in a pink suit and a white shirt. His blonde hair seemingly longer since you last saw him in person, slightly disheveled from his habit of running his hands through his hair. Despite looking tired, with how busy his travel schedule was, Ben looked absolutely content with finally coming home, especially to a sight he had only dreamt of: you dancing in nothing but lingerie. In his eyes, you embodied all that it means to be devastatingly sexy and cute all at once.

“Holy shit! Ben I almost shat myself!” You shout breathlessly, slapping Ben’s shoulder “A lil announcement would have been nice.”

“Well, hello to you too love,” Ben laughed, his sea foam green eyes quickly tracking over your appearance before settling on your eyes “I thought you had a date tonight?”

“Nooope,” you reply, hopping on the counter and rolling your eyes in annoyance. “He talks me up these paste few weeks and then cancels without even explaining himself! What kind of guy even does that?” you huff, unconsciously pouting your lips and making Ben feel things in the process.

“Clearly, a guy that doesn’t deserve you,” Ben responds, shedding his pink suit jacket, draping it on the kitchen table and making his way over to you, stopping in between your legs. “It’s his loss, love.”

“I know, it’s just frustrating sometimes when a guy knows damn well he isn’t ready and will continue to convince you to waste your time on him!” you rant, venting your frustrations to your blonde best friend.

Ben nods understandingly and comes in for one of his ever famous bear hugs. If there’s one thing about Ben that’s trademark, it’s that he’s a tactile person. Physical touch is basically one of his love languages and not just in a sexual sense. Throughout your long friendship, it wasn’t uncommon for Ben to cuddle next to you on the couch during a movie marathon. And in the reverse, you didn’t hesitate to cuddle next to him and he would gladly wrap his arm around your shoulder.

“Feel better?” Ben mumbles into your hair right before you break away from his warm embrace.

“Much!” you smile, a smirk playing your lips “Now go shower, you stink!”

“Hey now! You can’t blame me, I just got off the plane!” Ben exclaims, lightly smacking your bare thigh. “Movie and brownie sesh?”

“As if you have to ask!” you chuckle, hopping off the counter to check on the brownies. It was tradition for you both to gorge on brownies and watch a movie when Ben came back from long work trips.

Ben turns around and fetches his jacket from the table before making his way to the bathroom. You can’t help but admire the way his arm and back muscles glide under the snug fit of his white tee shirt. As if on cue, Ben calls out, “take a picture it’ll last longer!” before turning around and looking at you from the hallway.

“Oh dear lord, why would I do that now that you’re back home!” you stick your tongue out, silently trying to calm your mind that Ben caught you practically gawking at him. How in the world did he even know?! He was turned away from you for gods sake!

Not too long after, the timer goes off and you retrieve the brownies, basking in the sweet chocolatey aroma that fills the kitchen. You let the brownies cool off while you go off to the living room to pick the movie of the night. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Can’t go wrong with a classic, you thought to yourself. And it’s been a while since you’ve watched it.

“Ben! These brownies aren’t gonna eat themselves!” you call out, lounging horizontally on the couch, the plate of brownies sitting on your stomach. “I swear to God, you take freaking long showers. It baffles me sometimes that-“ the beginning of your small rant cut short at the sight of a freshly showered Ben, his blonde hair still damp, and his toned chest on display as he was only wearing boxers.

“That what, love?” Ben smirks at you, knowing exactly how his current appearance is affecting you.

“..nothing,” you mumble, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks, pulling yourself up to sit down next to Ben, handing over the plate of brownies.

You both started watching the movie and Ben didn’t tease you during it. Thankfully, the funny and relatable antics of the movie put a pause to the sexual tension and you were both laughing along to the film in no time.

Sighing in content, you place the plate with the small remainder of brownies on the coffee table and settle back to your spot next to Ben. When you turn around to look at your roommate, you can’t help but smile because your eyes are welcomed with the sight of a knocked out Ben, head tipped back, mouth slightly open with soft snores starting to escape. Poor guy, you thought to yourself leaning over his body carefully, as to not wake him, to grab the blanket.

Right as your hand made its way to the soft fabric, Ben let out a groan causing you to lose your balance and fall right on his lap. Luckily, a pillow was atop his lap before, thus providing a cushioned barrier to soften your fall.

“Ooof!” you mumble out, slightly freaking out because of the awkward positioning and the fact that just a pillow currently separates your chest from Ben’s crotch.

“Woah woah,” Ben’s groggy, deep voice interrupts your thoughts “If you wanted me that bad, you could have just said so love!”

“You are so so full of yourself Ben!” you exasperate, going on to explain the situation “I didn’t want you to get cold..” your eyes gesture to the blanket that’s still in your hand. His emerald eyes tracked yours and suddenly his hands grasped your body and pulled you on his lap. You settled your arms around his broad shoulders to keep your balance and he settle his arms around your hips in response, his fingers softly teasing at the lace of your panties.

“There, now I won’t get cold. Body heat does more than blanket ever will!” he smiles, his eyes seemingly looking into your soul, as if to reassure you that this won’t change your relationship.

“Hmm,” you sigh, adjusting your position on his lap, consciously testing out the waters of this sexually charged atmosphere. “I missed you, Ben.”

“And I missed you too, peaches,” Ben hums into your neck, reveling in the feeling of your warm body pressed up against his. Even though you were just sitting on his lap, the feeling of you being in his arms felt so damn right, so natural, so effortless.

His soft lips eventually made their way against your jawline and you hummed in delight, shift your hips slowly on top of his lap. It wasn’t too long after that you started to feel him getting hard and you could help but silently scream in your head.

“Already, Ben?” you smirk, tilting his chin up from your neck so you could look at him.

“Love, don’t be so surprised,” Ben explains, his cheeks becoming rosy. “You could be wearing just a burlap sack and I’d be ready to go in a second! You. Are. Stunning.” He emphasizes those last three words with firm kisses to each of your collarbones and the last one smack on your lips. Your lips latch on to his and all is right in the world. He sucks on your lower lip, silently asking permission to deepen the kiss and you happily oblige. This makeout session is getting hotter and hotter by the second, your hands exploring each other’s bodies. No words are exchanged, only actions.

“Oh Ben,” you moan aloud throwing your head back, in return pushing your décolletage closer to his lone of vision. Ben groans in appreciation and dives right in, placing wet kisses all over.

“You are so beautiful, love,” Ben murmurs lowly, his hands trailing down the cur of your hips, settling down on the round globes of your glutes, squeezing them. “Wet already?” he says, as he feels your drenched panties grinding on his hard cock. Truthfully, he just wants to undress already and finally feel your naked core against him.

“Ben, don’t be so surprised,” you laugh, lightly mocking his previous statement. “I was wet the moment I saw you in that pink suit!”

“I should wear it more often then,” he thinks aloud, shifting his hips up to meet yours, causing your eyes to roll back in pleasure.

“Ben, take me to bed please,” you say, letting your desire and emotions out in the open.

A small part of you was advising against this because going all the way with Ben, your best friend and roommate, could change the dynamic between the both of you. But, a bigger part of you and your gut was telling you to take that leap into the unknown, because oh honey, what if it turns out good, amazing even? That was a possibility that you were definitely willing to take that risk.

“Whatever the lady desires,” Ben says softly, his beaming up at you. What you didn’t know yet was that Ben wanted this too. “Wrap your legs around me peaches, I got you.”

With your arms and legs wrapped around this Adonis of a man, Ben walks you both to his room and sets you down gently on his plush bed. You go to take your bra off, but Ben stops you.

“Can I do it, please?” he whispers softly, his eyes pleading with yours.

“Oh yes!” you nod frantically. “Why are you whispering?”

“Because I don’t want this to go away, this all feels like a dream that I don’t want to wake up from,” Ben confesses, and your heart just breaks a little because you’ve never seen him so vulnerable and that’s saying a lot considering that you’ve known him for most of your life.

“Ben, look at me,” you say, bringing his hand to your chest so he can feel how fast your heart is beating. “Feel that? This is real.”

Taglist: @rogershamsandwich @big-deak-energy @rrrogah-tayluhh @hardzzellos @prettylittlegoldfish @queeniebean01@yourebeyondperfect @ramibaby @anikatcmh @shannonlxto@shreyuhhstudies @libita @orchideax @meowmeow230 @devil-in-those-eyes @luvborhap @ixchel-9275 @caborhapch @qweenly

#ben hardy #ben hardy fic #ben hardy smut #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #fic series #ben hardy fluff #Roommates fic #wanderlustandsmut X brownhardyho collab

109 notes · View notes