#sometimes its just fun to listen to people completely lose their shit laughing. the crew too!

[bluebirdwrites]

j stands for joker; batfam

warnings; language, violence, injury, non-consensual touching (nothing extreme), descriptions of death.

author’s note; so,, this is based off of Arkham knight slightly where jason gets branded by the joker. except!!! in this universe, the normal thing where jason died happened, and it’s batsis that this happens to during an unexpected situation.. if that makes sense? hopefully this isn’t too sucky :’) fem!reader too, btw (: here’s my dc masterlist in case you wanna, you know, check it out! requests the opennnn ;)

summary; with time, you hope that Joker will burn. that he will be marked by death the way that he has branded your skin.

Being held up in the bank with your brother on the way to get lunch is not how you expected the day to go. Not to mention, being Wayne kids had massive targets immediately on your backs in the case of bank robbers.

If only they knew Bruce Wayne was Batman.

“Fuck’s sake,” He drags a hand down his face, palming at his cheeks looking rather like a spoilt child with an angry pout on his face at a time like this. “Of all the times that I don’t carry my guns. This shit happens.”

You glare at him over your shoulder, making sure to thump him up the side of the head watching as the white strands mix with black, “Not the time when we’ll probably be the ones offered up as rich people bait Jason.”

It’s not the people that turn you in surprisingly enough, it turns out to be the white streak of hair that flops over your brother’s forehead that gives him away as the a Wayne boy, and in turn you as a Wayne girl.

The thugs parade around you both in a circle making sure to taunt you both, roughly shoving your brother to the floor even as he glares up with such a ferocity you know he’s itching to lose it. So, stupidly- bravely maybe, you step in, completely ignoring the glare that is now focused on you.

“Well aren’t you boys just precious? Look,” you let out a whistle and press the emergency button on your necklace that would alert the whole family. “How about you take your hands off of my brother and shove them up your ass so I don’t have to do it for you.” It is said lightly, even as Jason continues to give you a look of exasperation that says to shut up, it’s too late now.

The men laugh as the leader- seemingly a member of Jokers crew by the white clown makeup he wears- steps toward you and lifts your chin with a gun. “Listen rich-bitch, I don’t want to mess up that pretty face of yours,” the gun stays put as the man grabs your waist and brings you towards him by the hips. “That and I always like a woman with a mouth. I think I’ll take you with me sweetheart. Make everyone else leave, let’s keep the girl here for when the boss arrives.”

You can see three guys grab Jason and struggle to hold him as the guy turns you so your back is to his chest. “Everyone out,” the guy rubs the gun in circles on your temple and cocks it as you give a fuming Jason a hard look telling him to go. “Or her brains paint the wall a nice shade of red.”

Everyone leaves, and you’re sure your family will be here soon as the guy feels you up. You growl low in your throat and drive your elbow backwards as his hand grazes over your ass.

“Touchy, touchy,” the guy ties you up on a chair in the bank ripping your shirt from your torso. The gun is still pointed to your temple and your impatience grows. “The boss is here rich-bitch, and he’s going to have some fun with you.”

The clown is pasty white and scarred as always. Still wearing a purple suit and an orange plaid dress shirt. Still a psycho with green hair and an unflinching smile; this is your first time meeting him in civilian clothes.

“Well, well, well. Whatever do we have here? You wouldn’t happen to be Miss Wayne would you? My, my, my,” the Clown’s cackles bounce off of the walls as he claps his hands in glee. “Now you’re all mine, mine, mine, to do with as I please. Can’t harm that pretty face can I? I’ll have to get creative.”

He turns to the thug in the room, gun still hesitantly trained on you. The clown smiles, mouth gleaming yellow and bared as he purrs approaching his henchman holding out his hand expectant. “Such a good boy, give me the gun,” the goon is wary as he gives Joker the gun. “Time for the fun, pull my finger.”

The sound of the bullet ripping though the man’s skull is wet, spraying blood and brain matter from the impact of the bullet. The henchmen’s eyes are glazed as his body dully falls to the floor and pools with red. The clown cackles and jumps with glee, clicking his heels and shimmying around the fallen body.

Soon after, Joker brings forth a battery and generator that one would use on a car from a storage closet. He unhurriedly connects a wire to each arm and each leg and steps back chittering to himself as you wonder what in the hell is taking your family so long.

“Now pet, I’m not going to kill you! Of course not!,” his voice lowers an octave as the first circuit of electricity goes through you with the press of a button in his palm causing a loud groan to escape you and buzzing noises to fill your ears. “I’m just going to hurt you. Really, really, bad.”

A mere few minutes later, he stops the surges of electricity, seemingly frazzled as he approaches you with a metal rod and an unfaltering grin and twitching, deranged eyes. You begin to struggle, as it looks akin to that of a branding iron with its red hot end at one end of the metal.

“It seems that we’ve run out of play time dear, I’ll leave you something to remember me by until our next play-date since we’ve had so much fun together.” The clown lifts the iron poker for you to see, red hot with the letter ‘J’ held close to the side of your neck.

You’re straining in your chair as you think you can feel the buzz of your necklace on your collarbones, alerting you that they are coming. They’ll be here soon is all you can think as you try and stall.

“Go to hell you” it is said, and it is said with venom lacing your voice. It makes the clown all the more eager as he pushes the brand into the side of your neck. The pain is searing and it makes your toes curl as a scream rips through your throat as you become branded with him. His name on your body forever.

He soon stands back and claps his hands as he reheats the brand placing the mark multiple more times against your bare torso, becoming increasingly gleeful as you scream and cry. “You’re mine now girlie, got me all over you.”

The sound of glass raining from above like a hurricane is reassuring as the pain throbs and your body is searing and sizzling where his brand has been. The clown stands behind you, lifting your head by your hair. He’s leaning over your shoulder as he shows you off like a sick prize to your family in costume.

“Look at how pretty she looks all marked up,” he yanks your head to the side showing one of his brands and slides his hands up and down your torso where the rest of the brands lie. “Now she’s all mine, mine, mine. I had fun with her today, we’ll have to do it again sometime! Tell her daddy I say ‘Hi’!”

Tears are in your eyes as you look at the members of your family currently in front of you. Varying levels of anger are displayed, as they all twitch and glare looking ready to rip the clown behind you to shreds. Joker leans down to rest his head on your shoulder and wrap his arms around your neck and giggle as the lights go out and he is gone. Just like that becoming a ghost.

There is a beat of silence where your head rolls harshly to the side as you stare blankly with silent tears. There is a beat of silence as they realise that Joker is gone and of the pain that you are in and the state of your body. The beat of silence is the calm before the storm. In that beat of silence you are scared, utterly terrified. Not of the clown but of what he has done to you.

You don’t move and neither do they, too paralysed and too numb and in that moment you just want your family. The tears come faster, they come in fat salty rivets that cover your cheeks and drip off your jaw. The panic and the pain sets in next, overwhelmingly so, and it crushes you.

Your dad is there first, not as Batman but as Bruce Wayne- he must have come through the front entrance judging by the wide open door and police escort- as he reaches you, his daughter. The restraints are gone as you fall forward into him as he allows himself to run his hands through your hair and kiss the crown of your head.

“Dad,” you cling to your father and you are aware as he picks you up and wraps you in his suit jacket being careful of the brands that cover your torso. “Can we go home?”

Your brothers are in costume you realise, as they vanish in quick succession, one after the other. When you get outside, there is press and police and sirens. There are flashing cameras and yelling. The police force a barricade around yourself and your father make press leave.

The next thing you remember you’re in an ambulance and there are four people rushing towards you and your dad. Damian reaches you first, where an out of character hug happens as he leaps on you minding the bandages on your torso. He has his head resting on your shoulder and all you can think is, ‘I’m glad it was me and not anyone else.’

“I’ll kill him,” it’s said as a snarl and you know he means it. There’s no playing around with what he’s saying, with the sincerity of it. “He hurt you. Branded you, and I know you are not okay before you even say it. I was worried and I am glad that you’re okay.”

With glassy green eyes, he gently lets go of you standing slightly to the side and then Dick’s there, half picking you up and still being careful with you. But you can feel the anger bubbling in the trembling of his arms and the ticking of his jaw, the familiarity of the dangerous temper hiding under the surface. You can see the fear too, within the tears ready to drip down his cheeks and the shaky breaths he takes.

“Had us worried there pretty bird,” and he’s letting you sit back down fully and kissing your temple. “Don’t taunt the guys holding you hostage again please. Don’t take after Jason. Cass, Babs and Kate are going after Joker at the moment.”

He now stands to the side with his jaw locked talking to Damian. And Tim’s looking at you with tired, worried eyes as he takes large steps forward to hug you. He’s hugging you as tight as he can; so tight you can feel the racing and stuttering of his heart in his chest. He seems beyond relieved that you’re okay.

He’s pulling back to look you in the eye. “When I saw you before, I-,” he’s now gripping your shoulders forcing your eyes to meet the smouldering steely blue of his own, that show the distress within them. “I thought he was going to kill you y’know? I thought that- well, I’ll tell you later. Just know that I’m glad you’re safe pretty bird.”

As Tim joins your other brothers, it is only Jason with you now. You can see it in his eyes- he’s tearing himself to bits. He looks like he’s been crying, his face is puffy and his cheeks and nose are flushed pink. He strides towards you until he’s standing so close he’s towering over you wringing his hands looking like a kicked puppy.

“Why did you talk back to that thug in there? I had it under control! You were hurt by him, it should’ve been me! Why the fuck? I will kill that son of-“ he’s ranting and running his hands through his hair, mussing it up beyond belief. His eyes are blue green and darkening with his anger, and his lip is beginning to wobble the way it always does before he either explodes or is about to cry.

And you’re the one pulling him to you this time, tired arms around broad shoulders. You’re the one making him cling to you as he hugs you as tight and as tenderly as he can while his eyes water and he’s shaking like a leaf. Only when he’s ready, he’s pulling back and silently asking to look at the brand on your neck.

When he sees it, he looks green and he gags. Not because the wound is that bad, but because of what it stands for. Because of who had branded you, of the promise Joker made, of the fact you both knew Joker would be back for you.

The ‘J’ covers the entire column of the left side of your throat, it looks red and angry and painful. Jason is tentative as he runs a finger over it and you look each other in the eye. It burns. And with time, you both hope that Joker will burn too.

[the-arg0naut]

A Song For Every Moon

soulmate auuu where they hear the thoughts in their soulmate’s head! anyways i wrote this in collaboration with @you-call-those-glasses and!! yes!!! (also i forgot to post this for like three weeks shhhshshh)

also blood tw! its not big described but its there so Yes

~~~~~~~~~~~

Well this certainly isn’t ideal, now is it?

It all happened so fast. He was on set crew for the school’s various shows, he always was. So it was expected that he knew his way around the various machines used for set, yeah? Usually, yes. But today was just not Virgil’s day at all.

First, he had to step out of class first block due to a panic attack caused by some stupid freshmen who thought purple was a “girl’s color,” (Who gives a shit, it’s just a color. Last I checked, colors don’t have penises or vags.) Then, Logan had to take lunch to their math class to make up a test they missed so he had to sit alone-because god forbid he go up and actually talk to new people (They’re all looking at me, I’m all alone and they’re staring at me and calling me a loser). 

And then he gets to set construction, the one place he truly does feel safe, and secure, and comfortable.

And Grant just had to yell something from across the shop to him, when he knew he wouldn’t be able to hear him with the saw running.

He had turned to try and make out what he was saying. Kept feeding the wood into the machine. Didn’t even notice when his hand went just a little bit too far past the guard.

Honestly, he didn’t feel anything. Not initially, at least. Just a bit of weird tingling in his left index finger, something warm yet cool at the same time over the rest of his hand. A bit of a loud noise when the machine forced itself off, but he had earplugs in anyways, so it made no real difference. 

He only realized something was wrong when Grant started screaming at him, yelling something, good lord what’s all this yelling for-

Well. That’s quite a bit of blood. I didn’t even know I had so mu...

He barely had looked at his hand, barely had time to think a single thought before passing out. Blood and all really isn’t so cool when it’s cascading down your hand and onto the piece of plywood you were previously trying to cut.

He faded in and out of consciousness for a little while. Caught glimpses of things. Grant and Brandon carrying him out of the building. Flashing lights. Latex gloves. 

He came to in the ambulance, two EMTs and Grant beside him. He registered that his hand hurt, jesus christ my fucking hand hurts, good god, can’t they give me some drugs or something-

Drugs? What would you need drugs for? And what do you mean, your hand hurts? Oh goodness, this has to do with the blood you mentioned earlier, doesn’t it? 

Whoops. No one had thought to contact Logan, his soulmate. They must’ve heard him when he saw his hand, and promptly passed out. God, they must’ve been so worried, just a mention of a shitton of blood and then nothing, can’t even imagine-

Yes, it was very worrisome, and even more so when you wouldn’t answer my phone calls. What the hell happened?

Just a… bit of an incident with the table saw.

Table saw?!

Calm down, it’s got that cool thing where if it senses, like, warmth or flesh or whatever, it forces itself to turn off. Breaks a bunch of the parts inside, but- oh god, James is gonna be pissed, those parts aren’t cheap-

Virge, I don’t think how the saw’s doing is what we need to be worrying about right now. How bad did it… cut you?

No idea. I passed out after seeing all the blood. I never got a good look at it. I could ask the paramedic next to me.

Oh good, you’re in an ambulance, at least you’re getting treatment. Yes, ask them, and then ask which hospital you’re going to.

Will do, love.

He turned to Grant and the paramedic currently busying herself with a bag beside his head.

“Hey, Grant. Hey, uhhh, I don’t know your name, paramedic person,”

“My name is Annabelle.”

“Cool, hi Annabelle. So, uh, how bad’s the damage?”

“Well, we’ll be able to better tell exactly how much got lacerated when we get to the hospital, but from just getting it cleaned up, it doesn’t look too bad. A cut maybe half a centimeter in on your left index finger.”

“Cool, I won’t lose my finger. Where are we heading, by the way?”

“Since your friend here let us know that you’re still 16, and legally a minor, we’re headed to B. Major Children’s Hospital.”

“Grant, how dare you snitch on me.”

Grant only tentatively chuckled. Dammit, he blames himself.

Huh?

Grant. I’ll explain once we get there. We’re going to B. Major Children’s.

I’m on my way. What did the paramedic say?

Nothing awful. Just a cut on my left index finger. Half a centimeter, she said.

Okay, good. You had me worried that you’d lost it or something.

Nope. It lives to do homework another day.

Does it still hurt?

Like a mother trucker. Hurts like a buttcheek on a stick.

You’re insufferable.

You know you love meee.

Yes, yes I do.

I’m gonna ask Grant what’s eating him. See you in the ER?

See you in the ER.

“Hey Grant?”

He startled a little bit, having been staring off into space. “Yeah V?”

“You alright?”

He looked away again. “Yeah. I’m fine. You’re the one who nearly lost his finger.”

Virgil laughed. “Oh, hush, you heard the paramedic. It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah…”

Virgil sat up some, looking at him. “Hey, dude, it wasn’t your fault. I was the one who turned away from it.”

Grant continued avoiding his eyes. “Well, yeah, but I was the one who distracted you. If I hadn’t tried talking to you with the saw on…”

“Bro, it’s alright. I don’t blame you. Just think of it as me testing out the saw’s safety feature. We know it works!”

He finally laughed some. “Yeah, but I’d rather that feature not have to be used.”

“So does the school. Oooo, and James. Imagine, the one day you’re not there, one of the kids gets his finger nicked by the table saw. I’d hate to be him right now.”

“I’d hate to be him any day. I mean, the guy drives a Volkswagen Beetle. A damn Beetle!”

“Man, imagine. Tragic.”

“Truly tragic.”

~~~

They pulled in to the ER not long after, Virgil awake, talking and laughing. The doctors got him in his room and began assessing it. Virgil looked away, not particularly wanting to pass out again. He tuned back into his/Logan’s thoughts (it was hard to tell the difference sometimes), only to hear a stream of frustration from his partner.

...stupid bureaucracy, the hell do you mean, “I have to wait,” my boyfriend got his damn hand caught in a table saw! I think that counts as urgent enough, and I’m practically family at this point, which doesn’t even matter to them because either you’re blood related, married, or complete strangers by their standards-

You’re rambling again.

I’m aware. These damn receptionists won’t tell me where you are, because you’re in the ER and I guess I’m not close enough related to you to go back and see you…

Lo…

...which is stupid because some people don’t have blood relatives that can or want to come visit them…

Logan…

...which means that some poor patients here are probably all alone because they won’t let their friends go and see them-

Logan Sanders listen to me or I’ll come and find you myself!

...that would be preferable.

It was a threat, nerd, and anyways I can’t even move, they’re sewing it shut.

Did they at least give you Dilaudid or lidocaine?

I’ll guess those are painkillers?

Yes, and Dilaudid is a highly addictive painkillers, which is why I hope they didn’t give you that and just used a nerve block like lidocaine-

Lo.

Sorry.

They did numb it with something, not sure what. Either way, it’s numb, but I can still kinda feel them messing around over there. I am choosing not to look so I don’t pass out again.

Yes, don’t do that again. Radio silence from my boyfriend isn’t exactly a pleasurable experience.

Doesn’t exactly sound like it.

One second, the receptionist is talking to me again.

I’ll be here.

Quiet for a moment. You usually don’t think about the words as you speak them, which Virgil found  little annoying, because it meant he couldn’t hear what Logan was saying. It was a couple minutes before Logan popped back into his head.

She finally told me where you were. I’m on my way up.

Oh good, I missed you at lunch today.

I heard.

Oh yeah. I forget you can hear me sometimes.

I wish I could forget. Remember that one thought from last week?

Oh my godddd let it gooo.

“Teenage meetant neeja teetles”???? What does that even mean???

Shhhhh don’t try and figure out my shitpost brain.

Wouldn’t dream of it. Have the doctors finished sewing you up?

Yep, it’s all pretty and clean and bandaged. They told me not to move it too much but jokes on them, I’m left handed, so catch me wiping my ass with my fucked up hand.

One, ew. Two, do not do that.

Y’all can’t stop me.

“But what if I could?” they said as they walked into his room, sitting in a chair beside him.

“You wouldn’t.” he teased. “You know you’d just watch me be stupid and shake your head at my ridiculousness.”

“It’s almost as if you’re speaking from experience.”

“Me? Being serially stupid? Never.”

Logan laughed, smiling at him. “... Are you okay though? Like, getting your finger lacerated by a table saw probably isn’t that fun.”

“I mean, nah, it’s not that great, but hey, I get to miss school for a day or two.”

“Are they keeping you overnight?”

“Yeah, just for a night, to make sure the saw didn’t have any bad garbage that got in my finger.”

“Do you want me to go and bring you anything?”

“I’ve already texted Patton about what happened and he’s gonna bring me… food. He didn’t specify what, but he yelled about bringing me sustenance.”

“Sounds about right. Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“Honestly, Lo? I just want you to be here with me.”

“That I can do.”

~~~

Patton walked into Virgil’s room, tupperware in hand, humming some sort of something. Probably some of those lo-fi songs Roman deems “not dramatic enough.” He smiled at the two, asleep, Logan holding Virgil’s good hand. He left the tupperware container on his bedside table, set Logan’s glasses beside it, kissed them both on the forehead, and walked out, still humming.

Virgil would later swear he heard his humming and would aggressively question him on what song it was (“I know it, I know I know it, I know I know I know it!”). But he wouldn’t let up. “Just know it’s definitely a love song.” (“Of course it’s a love song, it’s Patton”).

“It’s a song worthy of the moon.”

[dong-hyucks]

Dating Luhan Would Include...

Admin: Jade Masterlists

ye im trying to get this stuff out asap

sleep? idk her also just a warning it took 2k+ to get to the actual dating part so be prepared for a lengthy one

okay so basically, you got a job as one of lu’s personal stylists

you were the only child of one of his managers which helped you get the job

but the other stylists didn’t like that

they thought you just got the job solely bc of your parent

which was wrong-- you had loads of experience with styling of all kinds

the other stylists, bitter, would either ignore you or ‘tease’ you

a lot

though, they’d make sure to not do it in front of your dad

and they tried with lu, but he ended up catching them

considering he sees you all every day

and the fact that he isn’t cold hearted

lu really didn’t like that

but every time he would confront them about it, they’d deny his accusations and act innocent

after like a month of this happening

lu, and you respectively, had enough

though, you’ve had enough the moment they started

anywhoodle

lu legitimately had them fired

all five of them

aka

his entire stylist crew (besides you)

when you came to work and were told ‘oh hey, the other stylists don’t work here anymore, you’re going to be on your own for a few days.’

you had no idea how to react

and lu could tell because he started chuckling while you were doing his hair

“is something funny?”

“your continuous confused look”

“hUh”

then he told you that the other stylists were fired

which you already knew

but when you asked why, he fibbed a bit

said ‘they weren’t doing their jobs properly’

when in reality they were all relatively good stylists

so you knew he was lying right away

that and because the tips of his ears turned red

you didn’t want to say anything

just in case you got fired too lmao

for the next few days, you were lu’s only stylist

it was okay generally, but when he had a major appearance onstage it was a bit of a hassle

that happened like five days after the rest were fired

at that point, you and lu had begun talking more than before

while you styled him, you’d talk about whatever topic that came to mind

to anyone else, it looked like you guys had been friends for years

when in reality you had only known each other for little over a month

bAcK to The StORy

he was scheduled to have a stage performance at 12:00

it was 11:55

and he wAsNt reADy

so you were freaking out, rushing around trying to get your makeup pallets and hair gel, etc.

luckily he was already changed so you didn’t have to worry about that

but his face and hair was bare (not that it matters he’s a viSuAL--)

he was so amused, watching you scramble about

despite his amusement, he was extra sure to be helpful to you, seeing how stressed you were

he stayed completely still and tilted his head when you asked

when he’d usually mess with you for a bit before complying

now he was just listening in silence, knowing you were not in the mood for a conversation

after you had messed around with his hair using the gel and his makeup was done

you went to fix his outfit

you kept your eyes down as you inspected lu’s clothes

your hands would reach out every now and them to make small touch ups or to smooth over the fabric

your parent / lu’s manager was yelling out the time left, which was two minutes

so you worked faster

once you were done, you stepped back to admire your work aNd make sure everything was in place

in the midst of your work, you didn’t notice the lopsided grin he wore

which hugely complimented the clothes you had chosen for him

he honestly thought it was cute, seeing you so engaged in your work

“time to go!” his manager/your parent called out, ushering lu away from you

after his performance, lu couldn't find you

which was odd, since he usually met with you afterwards

when he asked his manager where you went, they snickered

but told him anyway“[Y/N] went outside for a bit-- got a call from their friend.”

lu nodded and stayed put, not wanting to pry in on your conversation

tho, when fifteen minutes passed he was b o r e d

so he decided, why not, and went out to find you

it didn't take long before he could hear you

making his way outside, lu poked his head out the door

he could see you, leaning against a brick wall with your phone to your ear

you were smiling so widely as you spoke

lu was kind of just wide eyed

a part of him wanted to stay outside to see why you were smiling like that

but the other part of him knew that that’d be invading your privacy so he went back inside

as he walked off, he found himself thinking of that smile of yours

he was so confused as to why he was thinking of it

it was weird

he kind of wanted to be the one to make you smile so brightly

the moment he thought that he literally walked into a wall

which also happened to be the moment you walked in

he met eyes with you, face flushing at the fact that you were laughing

“glad to know my pain is amusing for you.”

“it always is,” you joked, walking passed him, patting his shoulder as you passed

lu followed in silence, face still warm as he walked

while the two of you walked in silence, he noticed you wore a troubled expression

right before you were about to enter the waiting room, he stopped you, gently turning you around

“is something on your mind?”

“what?”

“you’re thinking about something and you’re thinking about it hard. is something up?” he raised a brow

you were blank faced for a moment before you let out a nervous chuckle

“well,,, i was going to wait until i could talk to my-- your manager, bUt,,,” you shrugged hesitantly, “i wanted to ask for time off tomorrow.”

“tomorrow? as in, when i have an important interview?”

you shook your head fervently, correcting yourself. “no, no, i’ll be here to get you ready but i have somewhere i need to be a few hours after it”

lu nodded in understanding before ushering you back in to ask

tHe nExt DaY (smooth transition, i know)

you actually managed to get lu ready long before his interview

so you all had time to kill

lu was playing some game on his phone and you were just cleaning up your supplies

suddenly, you got another call -- this time, a video call

lu found himself looking up as you answered it, a small smile instantly making its way onto your face

lu, being a lil shit, decided it’d be fun to do some random stuff in the bg while you talked with whomever

so, he basically crouched past with some weird expression

“oh. my. gosh. [Y/N] is that...”

“what?”

you turned around and made eye contact with him, just as he was pulling another weird face

there was a silence -- not including the freaking out your friend was doing -- before you burst into laughter

lu, though slightly embarrassed, followed after

“you’re luhan!” your friend gushed, gaining his attention “omL i love you--”

same

lu smiled before kindly making his way off camera to give you and your friend some privacy

at least, he tried to anyway

your friend very ‘subtly’ whispered to you, “[Y/N], please, let me get an autograph oR meet him i bEg Of YoU”

you took one glance at him before hanging up the call

not long after your phone blew up with messages from your friend

‘i’ll try, okay [Friend] chILL’

shoving your phone into your pocket you narrowed your eyes at lu

he thought you were glaring so he clumsily pulled out his phone and attempted to look like he was on it the entire time 

“very subtle, lu.”

“thanks, i try.”

you scrunched up your nose, contemplating on whether or not you’d really try to get some sort of fan service for your friend

without thinking, you blurted out the first thing you could think of

“let’s make a deal.”

lu looked up, intrigued.

meanwhile, you were internally freaking out

because you didn’t even mean to blurt that out

raising a brow almost impatiently, lu looked at you with a small smile indicating his mirth

“let’s go out--” you stopped yourself, wanting to hit your head against a door, “wait -- no, i worded that wrong--”

while you fumbled over yourself, lu leaned back against the sofa, covering his face as he laughed

“i saw an arcade on our way here. whoever wins three games first wins and --”

you didn’t even get to finish before lu interrupted

“okay,” he agreed, leaning back as far as he could, “you have a deal. if i lose, i’ll go with you, meet your friend.” 

he smirked, “but, if i win, you owe me a favour.”

he looked up at you, curiosity shining generously in his dark chocolate hues

a small, contented smile graced his features, blossoming over his cheeks like a carnation in its peak -- beautiful in all its glory

you blinked, thinking over his proposition

with a sigh, you held out your hand

“deal.”

within the hour, your parent was driving you guys to the arcade, clearly amused at your ‘bet’

“wear these,” they said, pointing to the pile of masks and caps on the middle console that they had handy just in case, “even in a dark arcade, someone could recognize you and those people will assume things.”

you were basically clinging to the car door, shocked that you were about to mess around in an arcade with lu han

when you arrived, you wobbled out of the vehicle, fully equipped with a mask and a cap even tho you arent at all famous and no one would know who you are

lu was in similar attire

“let’s go over here,” lu suggested, pulling you by the wrist once you entered the arcade

your face and body in general got really warm, your eyes trained on his hand

he was completely oblivious to your internal freaking out, his eyes facing forward

when he stopped walking, you were in front of a giant set up

“it’s like a racing / snowboarding simulator,” lu explained, stepping onto the platform “whoever gets to the bottom first wins.”

you nodded, stepping onto the platform opposite of him

it was snowboarding, how hard could it be?

you were very wrong

lu beat you in a mere two minutes, when the average time was at least five minutes

“i play this sometimes with my friends,” lu explained with a cocky grin not that you could see it

you narrowed your eyes, “you’re playing dirty,” you accused, though you weren’t really annoyed.

without a word, you hopped off the platform and took lu’s hand, just as he had with you, and pulled him in a random direction

oh, how the tables have turned

now you were unaware of the flustered expression lu wore

you brought him to a shooting game, one you had played a few times before with your cousins and friends

while you were playing, lu kept sneaking glances at you, which distracted him from actually shooting anything

he thought it was cute, how excited and into the game you were

like ten minutes later, you were victorious

lu just accepted it, because there was no way on earth in which he’d admit that he lost because he thought you were acting cute

since we’ve reached the 2k mark, imma be really blunt until the actual dating part

oops

basically you spent the next hour playing a bunch of games

and, whoopdido, he won three games before you

you were kind of bummed out bc you could tell your friend seriously wanted to meet him

but, a deal was a deal so you took it

“before we go,” lu randomly began, “let’s go to the claw machines.”

a part of you got super excited bc you haven’t used a claw machine in forever

when you got there, your eyes landed on a vv cute plush

tho, tbh, you absolutely sucked at the claw machine

lu noticed right away which plush caught your attention and inserted a coin into it

you watched in aWe as he got it first try

wow what a god

“here,” he practically threw the thing in your face

“let’s go,” he said, not even waiting for you to catch the plush

you bounded after him, looking down at your watch

“what time are you meeting your friend?” he asked, watching traffic pass by

“in an hour or so.”

“then, let’s go get some dinner before then.”

you didn’t say anything and merely followed as he brought you to some lowkey café (i have an addiction to adding cafés into my bulleted stuff)

at this point i got distracted by everyong for like half an hour oops

by the time you were sat down in an almost empty café

there was like 45 min until you were going to meet up with your friend

you spent like five whole minutes trying to figure out how you were going to say ‘oops couldn’t get anything from lu han for you lol’

when you looked up, you noticed lu was just looking at you, resting his chin on his palm

“what’re you staring at?”

“you.”

no shit bro

you rolled your eyes, looking down at the small menu the café had out on every table

“you’re interesting.”

i beg your pardon, you thought

“usually, people are practically dying in my presence. you’re quite calm though,” he tilted his head. “you know, i think i like you.”

luckily, you weren’t drinking anything, because if you were you would’ve done a spit take

“w h a t ?”

lu merely smiled before asking what you wanted, as if he hadn’t just told you that he likes you

you just spat out the first thing you saw, which happened to be a carrot cake or smth

if you dont like carrot cake feel free to subsitute

you ate in silence both kind of unsure of what to say

you were still speechless over lu’s sudden confession

and lu was beating himself up for being so blunt

when you finished, lu was back to looking at you

you subtly wiped at your face, just in case you had somehow gotten food all over it

“do you really?” you asked, deciding that the situation couldn’t go that downhill. “like me, i mean.”

“... yeah.”

“okay.”

you almost choked -- who says ‘okay’ in this situation?

lu, on the other hand, was chuckling. “’okay’” he teased

you stuck your tongue out, leaning back in your chair

there was a pregnant pause before lu cleared his throat

“honestly, what -- what are your feelings for me? other than ‘okay,’“

you stared down at the table, biting your lip as you glued together words

“i-- i like you too, lu.”

in the back the cashier was lowkey eavesdropping

lu’s face broke into a smile, as he looked down to hide his growing grin

“that’s good.”

he looked down at his watch, standing up “then, let’s go.”

“what?”

“your friend wanted to meet me right? so, let’s go.”

“but,,,, i lost our bet.” // “you did, so you owe me a favour.” he grinned back at you, “but, i’m going to be a nice boyfriend and go with you anyway.”

“boyfriend?!”

lu merely laughed, grabbing your wrist for the umpteenth time and hauling you out of the café

somewhere along the way, you found yourself shifting your hand and interlacing your fingers with his -- a silent confirmation.

wOw that only took 2.7k to get to the legit point of this post

smh me

so, dates with lu don’t come often, but when they do they’re amazing

he’s always making sure that you’re comfortable, so they’re usually not in public places just in case ppl recognize him

the last thing he’d want was for you to get mobbed by fans

a lot of your dates are late at night, whether they be walks, dinner at your/his house, movie nights, etc.

he’s so sweet too

like he’s very open with his feelings for you (not completely, the world has no idea of your relationship yet)

any of your coworkers can tell that you’re dating

but no one says anything bc they know that they could get fired if lu so pleased

he wouldnt tho, unless given reason

anyway

the few times that your dates are public

lu will do the weirdest things to make sure you don’t get recognized/seen

if he spots anyone with a camera he straight up kisses your cheek

which works bc the person usually turns away

generally

he’s just so sweet during your dates

and otherwise, ofc

but he’s also still lu, playful and such

snowball fights in the winter are a regular thing

moving on

kissing

honhonhon i regret

your first kiss with lu was spontaneous

you were at the arcade again, on one of your late night dates

a few other people were in the arcade, but not near you guys

you were playing the shooting game again, something that became tradition for the two of you and--

“hey, [Y/N]?”

“yeah?”

you took one look at him and suddenly his lips were on yours in a soft, gentle kiss

your hands froze on the plastic trigger, your eyes wide

before you could even do anything, lu pulled away with mirth shining in his eyes

“i won.”

you whipped your head toward the screen, and lo and behold, the infamous ‘YOU DIED’ screen was showing

“lu,,, you little shit”

“you love me”

“sadly”

kisses with lu, in general, have like three settings

the first being quick pecks, when the two of you are in a rush

whenever he has to go onstage, he’s sure to give you a quick kiss, whether it be on the lips, cheeks, forehead, etc.

he really likes kissing you

the second are slow and sentimental

these usually happen during your lazier dates

like you could be watching a movie on the couch and suddenly your kissing no further than tHat

he’d be so sweet during these times, his hand automatically cupping your face and his other tracing circles on your hip, leaving trails of goosebumps

the third,,,

oh dear

are a bit rough in a sense

these are rare, but they will happen without warning

usually when he gets jealous or you push his buttons too much

they’re messy kisses, but he puts his all into them and it’s very obvious

i’m blushing now so that’s as far as we’re going w that

MOVING ON

fights with lu don’t come often

he hates fighting with you and vice versa

but sometimes the two of you just get really stressed at end up lashing out at each other

this usually ends in the two of you giving each other the silent treatment

which is so difficult considering you’re one of his stylists

the main one, at that

the other stylists, newly hired, get so awkward whenever you guys fight

because there’s this giant tension between the two of you and none of them know what to do or say

however, you can only ignore each other for so long

it’s very divided between who cracks first

sometimes lu does

sometimes you do

sometimes you both just end up apologizing at the same time

either way, you both talk everything out

and make sure that no stone is left unturned

he’d probably really like honesty in a relationship, so it’d be very important to be open with one another (as it is in every relationship)

these fights end with cuddling, most of the time

in which he brings you as close to his body as possible

and wraps his arm around your waist

he’d love it if you wrap your arms around his torso and play with the ends of his hair

speaking of

if you play with his hair, he is putty in your hands

he even only lets you do his hair professionally

“lu, please, the rest of the stylists--”

“no, only you.”

“you c h i l d istg--”

but you love him

on the topic

your first ‘ily’ came about a month into your relationship

during that time, lu was on tour

and right before a concert, you came down with a seriously bad flu

so you had to stay at the hotel

lu called you before the concert, nervous

“lu, you’ll do great”

“but what if i mess up--”

he was so nervous, despite having done stages so many times in his life

to him, it was odd, not having you there

you had become his rock

he also loved performing knowing you were backstage rooting him on

“lu, hun, you’ll do great. and i know you have to go up now considering it’s two minutes to your stage. i believe in you!”

he was still shaken, but he knew you were right. “alright, bye. make sure to drink your medicine, alright?”

“okay~ i love you, bye.”

you hung up

only then did you realize what you had just said

which lead to you rolling around on your hotel bed, screaming into your pillow

meanwhile, lu was staring into space, his phone still to his ear

had he heard you right?

“lu! you’re up, let’s go.”

he looked over at one of his managers, nodding before putting his phone away

he then did his entire stage with a huge smile on his face

this is almost as long as my regular scenarios

so imma just stop here

anywho, a relationship with lu would be heaven

he’d treat you like royalty, because in his mind you deserve the best

so in all

he would cherish you, and when the time comes, he’d brag about your wonderfulness whenever he could

he really would love you, and hopefully you’d do the same

:)

is it obvious who my ot12!exo bias is this was so close to getting to 4k im

[cbk1000]

All right, my anxious anon. Here is your masterpost on How To Calm Your Tits At Least a Little Bit At 35,000 Feet. As I said in my last message, I’m going to break this down into sections, go over some general tips, and then take you in detail through some of the exercises I use in addition to the 54321 exercise I already covered in another post. I’m going to put this under a cut because it’s very long, and I don’t want to hog people’s dashes if they aren’t interested in any of this information.

General: First of all, as I’ve said, remember you’re not alone; this is a common fear and not something to be ashamed of. If you think this might make you feel better, consider alerting the crew to your concerns. Tell them you haven’t flown in a long time, and that you’re very nervous about it. The flight attendants are there for your comfort and safety; that’s their job. I can guarantee you are not the first fearful flier they have encountered, and chances are they’ll check in with you from time to time to make sure you’re doing ok. They will not think you are stupid or ridiculous; some of them probably had to overcome their own phobias for their job. There’s also something called a flight tracker; some people who experience anxiety about flying like to use this so that people on the ground can sort of look out for them. If you think this might make you feel better, you can have a friend or relative who won’t be on the flight with you follow your progress. They just need the flight number and the date of your flight.

Make sure you are dressed comfortably; you want to make things as easy as possible on yourself. Are ill-fitting pants going to send you into a panic attack? No, but physical discomfort can heighten your emotional discomfort. 

You also want to make sure you have plenty of ways to distract yourself. As I said before, listening to something, be it music, an audiobook, or movie/TV show, can keep you from starting at every little noise. Because you have not flown in so long, it’s a non-routine event to your senses, and non-routine events can be frightening. It doesn’t mean that you’re even remotely in danger, but your body can and often will perceive it that way because you do not understand what is going on.

Shit That Might Scare the Shit Out of You: Ok, so you haven’t flown in a long time; you’re going to experience a lot of new sensations that your body won’t know how to categorize. This is all routine stuff to crew members and frequent fliers, but it isn’t to you, and that doesn’t help your anticipatory anxiety. You don’t know what in the hell it’s going to be like inside a large metal bird 35,000 feet in the air. So let’s make it a little less mysterious. This article does a really good job of breaking down the different phases of flight for you, so you have an idea of what to expect. 

Next, let’s break down some of the more common fears of anxious fliers.

Takeoff: Airplanes require a lot of power to get off the ground; you will be pushed back in your chair by the acceleration (this is actually kind of exhilarating once you calm down; ironically, I’ve always sort of enjoyed takeoff). Your stomach will also feel a bit funny; there’ll be a bit of a dropping sensation. This is totally normal, and it happens to even experienced fliers. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, gravity is just going, “Bitch, why are you trying to defy me??” To hype myself up for takeoff, I like to listen to a song that makes me feel like I can take on 10 large MMA fighters all at the same time without messing up my hair. It’s hard to feel scared when I’m all, “Man, kicking in some teeth would be just GREAT right now!!” Alternatively, can I suggest ‘Enormous Penis’ by da vinci’s Notebook? It’s peppy as fuck, and it’s about a penis. It’s hard to NOT perk up (nailed it) while listening to this song. My sister and I both listen to it whenever we’re having a hard (nailed it again) day. 

Turbulence: “OH MY GOD JENN THE PLANE IS BOUNCING ALL OVER THE PLACE AM I ABOUT TO DIE???” No. Turbulence is a totally natural occurrence that will happen to some degree or another on just about every flight. I cannot remember a flight where I’ve experienced literally no turbulence. Some flights have been very smooth overall with only a few small bumps here and there, and some have had stretches where the captain has ordered the flight attendants to go back to their seats and buckle in. This is NOT because the plane is in danger; it’s because people moving around while it’s bumpy risk injuring themselves by losing their footing. This article explains what’s happening during turbulence. Remember that temperature changes will cause those bumps, so when you’re going up or coming down through clouds, you are most likely going to experience some bumps. Turbulence can be a jolting sensation or the plane can actually sway back and forth a bit. In reality, the plane is hardly moving. Those pockets of air you’re hitting are maybe a quarter of an inch, but you’re hitting them at over 500 mph. Envision a speed bump: they’re really only a couple of inches, right? But if you hit them at high speed it causes a big bump; it’s the same principle, only the bumps you’re hitting are much, much smaller, and the plane you’re in is far more well-engineered than a car and stress tested to an insane degree.

I gave you some tips for how to reduce the sensations of turbulence if it bothers you, but another helpful tip if you want to reassure yourself of how little the plane is actually moving is to take a cup or bottle of water and place it on your tray table (I always carry some with me for this reason and for hydration; the recycled air in cabins is very drying). Watch how much the water moves. It’ll vibrate a little, generally, and nothing more. What would happen if you took this same cup of water (or an open water bottle), and jerked your hand down quickly, just a couple of feet? Water would slosh out, wouldn’t it? And that’s just dropping it a couple of feet. Pilots will attempt to avoid the worst of turbulence if possible so the crew can move around safely and so passengers don’t hurt themselves using the bathroom and whatnot, but occasionally you can hit some rough patches. Remember that heavy turbulence usually doesn’t last that long. We hit a rough patch on our flight to Dublin for our honeymoon, hard enough that the flight attendants were ordered back to their seats. I think within ten minutes they were back up, checking on people and serving food.

Remember also that the front of the plane moves around less in turbulence, so if you can snag one, a seat farther toward the front of the plane will help minimize those sensations. If you’re stuck in the back, don’t worry; you’re not going to be riding a bucking bronco. I almost always get stuck in the back of the plane, and there isn’t such a marked difference that the people in the front are all laughing and drinking champagne while those in the back scream and clasp their chosen religious texts to their chests.

Landing: Landing is another problem for a lot of anxious fliers. I always love it because it means I’m about to be on the ground again. lmao It’s also a great way to get a really fabulous view of a new destination. I love to watch the landing when I’m travelling somewhere new. Be prepared for the landing, because the descent is almost always going to produce some bumps, sometimes some pretty good ones. Again, this is all fine and normal; I just want you to be prepared for it, because if you’re expecting it, it’s not so frightening. In the next section, I’ll go into the various exercises you need to be using during any point of the flight that makes you feel anxious. If the landing scares you, you can implement these exercises during it. Also remember that a lot of noises are going to come into play here as the speed changes and the pilot manipulates the flaps. This might be a good time to listen to your music/audiobook/show if those noises make you nervous. I usually have music playing during the landing, but tbh, that’s mostly because I’m a really over-dramatic asshole who thinks their life deserves its own soundtrack.

The Exercises:

These are your tools for combating your anxiety before and during your flight. Do not be ashamed of using them, as many times as you have to. That’s what they are there for. Use the shit out of them; I want you to be really vigilant about using them every time you start to feel anxious, ok? You can’t just do it once and go, oh, wow, all better!! Anxiety doesn’t work that way. You are retraining your brain; it’s going to take at least a few attempts.

The 54321 Exercise: We’ve already covered how to do this one, so I won’t spend as long on it. I just want to add a couple of things, those being, mainly, that I want you to do this any time you start to feel nervous about your flight, and if you don’t have five objects (or four or whatever number you’re on), it’s perfectly ok to repeat something. Any little prickle of anxiety, any little what-if scenario that starts chewing at you--go into the exercise. Do it as many times as you have to until you feel calmer. Every single time you start to feel anxious, do this exercise. Do it before you leave, do it at the airport, if you must. You can do it aloud or in your head; if i’m alone I’ll do it aloud, if there are people around me I’ll do it quietly, to myself, so I don’t disturb them. 

The Get It the Fuck Together Exercise: I may have changed the name of this one slightly; it’s more fun to say, “Hey, leave me alone; I’m doing my ‘get it the fuck together’ exercise and I don’t need you distracting me.”

Here’s how it works: we anxious fliers like to play out a whole disaster movie in our heads. As far as we’re concerned, everything that can go wrong, will. We imagine ourselves plunged into all these dramatic scenarios as we cling impotently to our chairs, completely helpless. But you know who can’t be hurt by anything?

Cartoon characters. Look at Wile E. Coyote; that fucker has survived some shit. You can use any you want, really, but I like to use Shrek. So here’s what you do. When you’re on your flight, any time your brain starts throwing those disaster scenarios at you, whenever some turbulence hits, whatever it may be that’s causing you anxiety--imagine a cartoon character experiencing it instead. So, let’s use Shrek as an example. Shrek is sitting in a seat, and some turbulence hits. No matter how hard the plane is bouncing, nothing happens to him. Whatever happens to the plane, he’s still sitting there. Maybe he’s pearl clutching a little, but he comes through it just fine because he’s a cartoon character, he can’t be harmed. You are lending this little disaster film playing out in your head exactly the amount of reality it deserves. I always like to picture Shrek getting nervous and clutching his arm rests and then the turbulence stops and he gives that little chuckle and he’s like, “That was scary, wasn’t it?” It sounds silly, but it definitely helps. Remove yourself entirely from the equation; you’re not in that little disaster film. Shrek is. Shrek can’t be harmed. 

You can use this during the flight, but also throughout this week if you start picturing anything scary happening on the plane. Picture Shrek in that seat instead; picture ridiculous things happening to him, and him coming through them all just fine. We’re trying to associate the frightening pictures in your head with something removed from reality, so your brain can recognize that these scenarios are not real, and they are not going to happen to you.

The Make Love Not Soiled Undergarments Exercise: I may have slightly altered the name on this one as well.

So here’s what we’re going to do with this: I want you to find a moment in your life when you really connected with another person, or even a pet. A moment when you felt totally at peace, when you were flooded with feelings of love. We are looking for something that overwhelmed you with oxytocin, a moment when you felt safe and loved. What we’re going to do with this is superimpose it over all the phases of flight and all the things that scare you so that your brain instead associates flying with a really good moment in your life. Some examples from the book: if you’re married, when you first saw your spouse walking toward you, and the look on their face; for mothers, the bond they felt while breastfeeding, and their child’s face during this moment; even a pet looking up at you with absolute unadulterated love in their eyes will work. I like to use my parents’ St. Bernard for this exercise, so that’s the example I’ll use when talking you through it. I have loved many other pets equally, of course, but he’s such a big dumb mook who demands ALL THE PETS with his giant, battering ram head that it’s easy to plaster his giant YOU WILL LOVE ME I DEMAND IT eyes all over everything.

We’re going to start right from the beginning. When you arrive at the airport, look around at everything. Instead of a chair, or security, or the windows through which you can see those big, terrifying planes, picture the face of this person or pet; remember that moment and that bond. Superimpose their face on everything. Do this as you’re boarding; project their face and eyes on everything, as you’re walking down the boarding tube, as you’re getting on the plane itself. When you sit down, project this face onto the seat in front of you, onto the tray table, the window--whatever is within your range of vision. As the engines are firing up, associate the sounds of the engine with this face and that moment when you were connected and at peace. As you’re taxing, do the same thing. When you takeoff, keep projecting this face onto the seat in front of you, or the ceiling--wherever. We are linking this image with each thing you experience, so we override your fear and teach your brain that you are not in danger, in fact, you are as safe as you have ever been. When you hit turbulence--link the experience to this face that you’re using. 

So what I see when I fly, is this big dumb mook St. Bernard looking up at me like I’m the best thing since steak. I picture this during every phase: takeoff, turbulence, landing, any unfamiliar noises. If you’re seated at the window, look out at the wings; project this image onto the wings. You will see them flexing a bit; this is also completely normal. Link this image to the mechanisms in the wing and their movements; you are not in any danger. You are safe, comfortable, loved. 

Putting It All Together: Ok, so I’ve discussed the exercises in-depth. Let’s summarize briefly, then. Whenever you feel anxious at any point before your flight, do your 54321 exercise as many times as you need to until your anxiety starts to abate. I usually only have to do it a couple of times, but if you have to do it four or five or even more, that is perfectly fine. Take as long as you need. If you start to picture something bad happening on the plane, if your brain starts to spiral into those disaster scenarios: remove yourself from the situation entirely. Plug Shrek into that plane and that scenario and see that he is absolutely fine. You are not on the plane while something bad is happening; Shrek is on the plane, and no harm can come to him.

When you get to the airport, start your ‘Make Love Not Soiled Undergarments’ exercise (fun to say, even more fun to successfully implement). Project that loving face onto everything you see; do it as you’re getting on the plane. Do it as the plane hits turbulence. Do it as every new noise and sensation crops up, so that you’re linking them all with something really good. At any point during the flight if that anxiety starts to kick in and you need to distract yourself, whip our your handy 54321 exercise. As I said before, these are all tools to help you combat your anxiety; do not be afraid to use them.

Flying is actually really fucking amazing; there’s so much incredible technology and engineering that goes into modern aircraft. It’s not something to fear; we just need to make sure our rational mind has the chance to override our fears and let us experience and enjoy that. 

At any point during this week, if you need to talk, come back to my blog. Any questions, any concerns you have--lay them on me. Let me know how you’re progressing; sometimes just having someone to talk to can help a lot. If you want me to track your flight, I can do that too (you don’t have to give out any personal info, just the flight number.) 

Above all, remember that it is possible to suffer from these anxieties and still get on a plane and not absolutely lose your shit. I use these same exercises when I feel nervous, and I’ve done a few roundtrip transatlantic flights in the last couple of years, plus domestic flights. I’ve also got at least two flights planned this year. 

Also: it’s ok if you get a little nervous. That’s normal. My flights to and from the Czech Republic all went pretty smoothly for me (emotionally speaking, at least; we did encounter some turbulence), and I had a few brief moments of anxiety that I was able to get past pretty quickly. You’re thousands and thousands of feet in the air, in a metal tube; it’s not a normal situation. You have not failed if you feel a brief jangle on your nerves now and again. Our goal is to make sure you are not a petrified wreck for the entire flight.

[bdamantherapper]

BDaMan’s Show Log (6/23/2017-6/24/2017)

*The following events take place between Friday, June 23rd and Saturday, June 24th.* Friday 12:01am - As Show Day has finally approached, it's time to start logging the events and work my way towards getting in that zone for tonight's show. 12:15am - As I usually do each day around this time, I decide to check my "On This Day" on Facebook. Found a lot of stuff relating to the "Here's The Man" release in 2013, along with a bunch of show stuff from past years. The most interesting part I discovered was that Facebook reminded it that it had been four years since B.Allen and I became Facebook friends. For anyone who knows my history real well, you'd know that obviously I've known B.Allen and Jabri way longer than 4 years. I'm assuming there was a short time period in 2013 (for whatever reason) that B.Allen and I weren't Facebook friends. All of that aside, I'm reminded that as the end of June approaches, it marks the 16 year mark that I've known B.Allen and Jabri. (Short version of the normal version of the story: Met them in late June 2001 at my Grandma's place, their mom married my dad in 2004) I'm reminded that the people you meet in life can be minor or major, depending on how the natural flow of life goes. If you would've told me a year prior in June 2000 that I'd be pursuing music heavily with someone who not only has the same name as me (with a different spelling), but someone that would be a big brother to me - I would've been so confused, to a point where I don't believe it. 12:38am (cont. from 12:15am): Since 2014, I've done full 30-45 minute performances (also known as sets) with B.Allen and prior to that, full performances with variations of the New Life crew, one exception being June 2009 at The Beat Coffeehouse. Tonight's performance marks the first full solo performance of mine since the 2009 one. B.Allen and I had a mutual understanding days ago that he wouldn't be able to perform with me for this show. I'm not taking it as hard as I once would have, it's hard to go from that transition of having someone with you on stage all these years back to solo performances. As they say, though: "The show must go on." 1:05am - Only in my house can I watch my mom watch "Orange Is The New Black" while I watch "The Bernie Mac Show". The way our house is set up, I get the best of both worlds. 3:05am - Night #2 of looking at TV Tropes of various shows. TV Tropes are officially as interesting as samples in music. 4:35am - Still not completely tired yet. Thank goodness for Melatonin and "Hey Arnold!" It'll take its course soon enough... 9:54am - With the help of some foolproof alarms, I managed to wake up when I needed to. With how long today's gonna be, I didn't wanna waste any time. 10:01am - Can't go wrong with The Price Is Right! Now just gotta decide if I'm having breakfast or lunch today. 11:22am - After a fair amount of promoting the show, I've decided on having lunch. Can't let the hustle of promoting delay the day. 12:17pm - Now that lunch is done, it's time to get some practicing in. 12:41pm - I really hate how any form of text communication can be misconstrued. I often can read through it, but sometimes, there are people who just come off so passive aggressive. Put some respeck on your texts to me. 1:24pm - Time to get some practice in! 2:12pm - My solo practice is cut a bit short, as I had to call Tony back (imagine Frank Gallagher, but a bit shorter and slightly more sane) to check in with him and see how he's doing. Convos with him always remind me to never take myself too seriously and to never take any disrespect. 3:02pm - Gotta get ready for the final practice with the Gazda band, prior to the show. Here comes the long part of my day. 3:43pm - Cos lets me know that he'll be here to pick me up shortly. I feel like it took us a long time to not only do music together, but a long time for us to do shows together. It's something we've talked about since we worked together at Walgreens. To put it in perspective, it's about 5-6 years in the making. 3:58pm - We've arrived at Dave's place to get the final show practice in before the show. I also finally get to meet KJ and Blair, two very talented musicians who will be involved with tonight's set. 4:56pm - Practice is sounding awesome with everyone here! Can't wait to see everyone's reactions to the set. 5:43pm - Practice is complete! Time to pack up shop and make the travel to Nomad. Shout-out to Blair for the ride. 5:53pm - Had a chance to listen to my recordings from the practice before we left. It was dope hearing just how well my songs meshed with the Gazda stuff. Shoutout to Dave for hooking that up. 6:07pm - For the first time since November 2015, I have arrived at Nomad! A tad earlier than I expected, but oh well. 6:36pm - A nap might've been a smart idea. I'm tired as a mug. I shouldn't have trusted the alarm tones of "Morning's Here" from Friends, a Jadakiss laugh compilation, a Kanye noises compilation and a compilation of Big Sean saying "Oh god!" It got me up, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna be staying up haha. Godspeed. 6:54pm - Ran into the homie, Kama here at Nomad World Pub. Hopefully gonna link with him on some shows and music. 7:05pm - My all-time favorite James Brown song, "The Payback" is on right now.  I'm containing my hype haha. Mitch (one of Dave's roommates) is spinning the classics right now! 7:09pm - The OG is turnt about "The Payback" right now. 7:43pm - Only in my lifetime can I just witnessed a "Happy Vagina" be drawn. Somewhat doubles as an happy avocado haha. KJ's artistry at work! All for the love of Planned Parenthood, y'all. 7:48pm - Just found out about 7 minutes ago about all the set times. I go on with Gazda at 10:45. 7:59pm - Aw, shit! "Flashlight" is playing!! For those who don't know, that is my favorite song of all time. 8:23pm - These fries are tasty as hell, though!! Shouts out to Sarah for sharing her fries. Chronicles of a Broke Rapper. 8:33pm - First time in the Green Room since the first Culchr Showcase from November 2015. So many memories plus thoughts racing through my mind. 8:47pm - Before I left the Green Room, I saw an old Culchr sticker we put down there. It felt so symbolic to see that, despite not quite feeling the Culchr surroundings love today. No Alex or B.Allen with me for this one. However, I hear "Juicy Fruit" by Mtume and it makes me feel better. Most specifically, the sampled vocals that Biggie interpolated for "Juicy". 8:59pm - Just heard the sample for "Looking At The Front Door" by Main Source. I believe Cos is DJing at the moment, not sure. On another note, it's dope that it's still pure daylight at 9pm. 9:16pm - Had to grab the portable charger quick. As I came back up and outside, I ran into the big homie, Carnage. Last time I saw him was at our Club Underground performance in November 2015. It's gonna be interesting taking the stage after his band performs. That's a mighty name to follow when it comes to the lyrics. 9:28pm - Cricket and Bernard are the emcees of the night. They seem like naturals at it. This is gonna be an interesting ass night. 9:31pm - Wild Age is up. This is the band that Blair is also in. They have a good 90s type rock sound. 9:51pm - Well then...looks like we're after Wild Age. Time to speed up the flip of the switch! 10:03pm - Apparently, we aren't next lol. Cos told me that Everything's Been Taken wanted to trade, but then retracted said trade after realizing they were already in the spot they needed to be in, set wise. Total tactical error. On a side, "We're on the move...nothing can stop us now! FEET DON'T FAIL ME NOW!" 10:31pm - Everything's Been Taken (Carnage, Laura Lou and Soul Beautiful) are up. I expect nothing less than dopeness here. They don't call Carnage the "Show Stealer" for nothing! If you add Carnage to an eclectic of musicians, there's minimal room for error. I'd like to also add that on the local scene, Carnage has been a driving force of inspiration for how my style has morphed. Ever since him and Desdamona came to my Poetry class in Senior year, I've been finding ways to carry that growl in my vocals while having some fun with it. That's about 7 years of me taking notes, sure ain't stopping now. 11pm - Got my drink tickets from Cos finally. Time to drink this Surly Hell. Still blown away by Carnage's performance of "MN Mean". Goddamn!! 11:15pm - Everything's Been Taken is on their final song, meaning that Gazda and myself are next! Now, it's time to flip that switch very soon. 11:21pm - Had to give Carnage props on the dope set. Told him how he's been an inspiration since 2010 and he told me how I was doing good to represent for the big men by having energy on stage. Man...my jitters are kicking in fast! 11:50pm - In the words of Sting, "It's SHOWTIME!" Saturday 12:21am - Wow! That turned out doper than I ever imagined!! Got some good props from a good chunk of people, especially Carnage himself. Even the OG from Louisiana gave me props. He was shocked as hell that I went the whole time prior to the show without saying anything about performing tonight. I still gotta work on the whole not losing the voice thing, but I pulled it off decently enough with some "change in mid-stream" mannerisms. 12:35pm - Shoutout to Sarah and Shane for letting me get a slice of their pizza. Hedgies Pizza, that's a major key! Shout-out to KJ as well for her very, very talented vocals. Shout-out to Dave for doing his thing on the bongos, as well as Blair for the keyboard and guitar - so dope! And of course, shout-out to Cos for getting it all together and having me involved. I have a feeling this is the start of a great musical relationship. 12:53am - Big shout-out to Blair for the ride home. Saved a young brotha some time. Wish I could've stayed to see Ayvah, but my body was telling me to get home for sleep. 1:10am - "Back to my palace, cause I suffer Morning Madness!" 1:45am - I'm about to slay these hot dogs and get ready for the decompress portion of the night. 2:52am - Catching up on Beat Shazam with my mom. At least this keeps me hype about music. 4:20am - As I watch "Malcolm & Eddie", I reflect on the day as a whole. Very, very few negative moments and a whole lot of positive moments (even some unexpected positive moments). A truly glorious day. I never understand how I manage to have so much energy after this much time has passed. One of many of my life's mysteries. Until the next show log, this is BDaMan - closing it out!