#sometimes parents can make us feel guilty for things that are not our fault or arent a bad thing at all

[petrichoraline]

petri I feel like I'm a horrible child and possibly am

honestly you'd be surprised how many people feel like this. sometimes we catch ourselves actually being unfair towards our parents, sometimes we're victims of unreasonable guilt. the overall situation, however, rarely is simple, you know? parent-child relationships are more often than not extremely layered and complex. with no details i can't tell you if what you're worrying about might be a valid reason for concern but honestly it's not my place to evaluate that anyways. i feel like you might be putting more pressure on yourself than deserved. the fact you're worrying about the possibility of being a bad kid to your family tells me you care about them which in of itself means you're not as horrible as you think. also your message makes me think you might have a tendency of overanalyzing your actions and getting into your own head. i think you're definitely not as horrible as you think and in case you feel safe (because, again, i do not know what this is about) i'd advise you to talk to your family about whatever the issue causing you to feel like this is. because, again, you are not horrible.

[yan-randomfandom]

Hello! We loved what you did with our dev ask. Wanted to know if you would do Yan! Irep headcanons? I'm a little surprised that Dale got a request before irep.

💘ficto anon

Yandere!Irep x GN!Human!Reader

warnings: hickey or biting mentions!!

just realized how right you are about Dale having a yandere request before Irep,,, woah— half bullet & half drabble!! lil square man

I feel like he'd easily get attached to you on the first day. If you somehow check all the boxes that catch his attention, at least.

For example, buying him ice cream. Surprisingly, it's simple enough to get him to stay with you.

When he heard you say it was your treat, the first thing he thought of was karma. He had done something good for you, and now you were returning the favor. This type of positive thing never happens to him.

Even if he didn't like sweets, he wanted to know what would happen if you bought him ice cream. A simple action, but to him, it felt like you were making up for years of his social interactions.

He's an anti-fairy. His species is feared and avoided. Irep doesn't have many friends, really—he's the second fairy born in a thousand years.

His family, while they love each other dearly, often don't have as much quality time as the originals. They're probably too caught up in their evil schemes.

Having said that, he'd nonchalantly reveal that he's a fairy to you the second you take his heart.

You're so kind to him. It's new. It's nice. Even his parents don't offer this much kindness.

So, if you think Peri is deprived, imagine how much more deprived this guy is.

Irep loves praise. Call him handsome. Call him stylish. Call him better than Peri—he's folded.

He would do anything for you. Literally. Da Rules can't stop him. A stranger is talking to you without acknowledging him? Woah. Where'd they go?

Clingy to a fault. Irep would show you off to the world; he has no shame.

His parents are confused about why he's mingling with a human, but they're supportive nonetheless.

Loves to tease you. It's the most evil thing he can do to you (in plain sight).

Much like Peri, he'd love cuddles. It's a funny thought, but he'd often rest his flat head on your chest or lap. At least he's comfortable.

With fangs like his, he might playfully bite you. He'd love nothing more than to give you hickeys, but he would never leave marks on your skin—unless you ask nicely.

While he's certainly confident, filled with his ego, sometimes there's an inkling of doubt in the pit of his stomach. He's still an anti-fairy, and he would hate to see you go.

This is where his manipulative side can come into play. He’ll make sure you see him at his most vulnerable, making you feel guilty enough to avoid even considering leaving him.

He may be a bit rough around the edges, but Irep can genuinely be good support. After all, that's all he ever wanted: to be useful and to have something for himself.

Irep was disguised as a human. This was the closest he could get to Dev and Peri without getting caught.

The duo were currently inside an ice cream parlor, with Hazel as their company. Irep squinted his eyes. Oh, wait, his reverse parents were there too. Of course they were, being Hazel's godparents and all.

A sneaky smile crept across his face. He had an evil plan brewing in his mind, but first, a loophole must be discovered. Maybe they'll fight right there and then, allowing Irep to reach Dev again.

So, all he has to do is... wait.

Wait.

...Until Dev or Peri decide to separate.

It didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. They were happily chatting, smiles on their faces. Hazel offered a spoonful of ice cream to Dev, who grumpily accepted anyway.

...

Finger after finger, impatient tapping fell on the table. Has it always taken this long? Man, it feels like he's wasting his eternal life just... stalking them.

In fact... He's been having this weird emotion for some time. Irep unknowingly goes deeper into a space of his mind. Has defeating Peri always been his goal in life? Well, obviously. He won't ever deny that. But is that all there is?

Anti-fairies are despised as villains, bringing bad luck and destruction, yet still, there is a delicate balance. Something, something... Ugh... It's such a hassle to think about. Maybe all the time he spent stalking and brooding alone finally got to him.

Still, isn't there anything else he can do?

Hazel and Dev eventually stood up and began to leave the parlor. It was time for Irep to follow them again, as usual.

The anti-fairy stood up and trailed behind them, his hands shoved into his pockets. Huffing, he couldn't push back the restless thoughts.

"Shoot—!"

Someone suddenly bumped into Irep, but with his quick reflexes, he caught the person before they fell to the ground.

He stared at you with widened eyes.

"I'm so," you fretted, hastily adjusting your position. With a crooked smile, you sheepishly patted his clothes to straighten them. "Sorry! Thanks for catching me."

Irep didn't know how to talk to a human. He had only ever dealt with them when necessary, and in those times they usually catch him in the worst mood possible.

Perhaps this was one of those times.

"No matter. It's fine, fellow human," he remarked, adjusting his sleeves. By now, his future godkid and Peri were already at the terminal.

"Um, okay... I can buy you ice cream if you'd like," you smiled. "As an apology. Oh, wait, unless you've already bought one!"

"Ah. I don't like sweets. I have to go— Wait, did you say it's your treat?"

[lythea-creation]

Breaking the Cycle - Remus Lupin x daughter reader

summary: (f/n) is the unknown daughter of Remus Lupin. After growing up without parents herself, what will she do when she finds out that Remus is struggling to be there for Teddy?

warning: mentions of bullying

word count: 1.209

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? Yes

---------------------------

I had spent most of my life in the unknown. Not knowing about my parents. Not knowing why weird things were always happening around me. Not knowing why nobody wanted me around.

Things quickly changed when an owl suddenly appeared in front of my window, a letter in its beak. I was not sure if it answered a lot of question or brought even more upon me. But it definitely was a changing point in my life.

Being a witch was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Instead of being stuck in my orphanage, I was spending most of my time at Hogwarts now. Actually all the time except summer break.

To my surprise I had even managed to find friends. Turns out witches and wizards are naturally weird and somehow I was not standing out anymore.

Finally my life was not completely defined by my lack of parents. There were even people who understood my situation as they had grown up as orphans as well or had been bullied or been an outcast.

For once I had not wanted anything to change at all. But life never played out the way I wanted it to be.

My life turned upside down once again in my fifth year at Hogwarts, the time I had met my dad, Remus Lupin for the first time as he had become our teacher for the year.

It had been a challenging situation for both of us, it still was. He had not known about me. We had found out thanks to Dumbledore who appeared to know absolutely everything, not stopping at school borders.

So from that day on Remus had actually tried his best to get to know me, to build a relationship. It was obvious to me that he was feeling guilty for not taking care of me.

Meanwhile I was having a hard time adjusting. On the one hand I was feeling the whole range of emotions, including anger, hurt and disappointment for him not being there. On the other hand I was aware that it was not his fault either.

Finding out that he was a werewolf had been even more of a shock. But slowly yet steadily we had bonded over the smallest things.

He would tell me about mom and their time together. And when I assured him that I was fine with it, he began talking about Tonks.

I had visited them over the summer holidays as well. Actually it was easier for me to interact with Tonks. I could not help but love her and honestly it was scaring me because she had started shifting into a mother figure for me.

With Remus it was a different story. There were moments we were getting along so well that I would forget about my childhood he had missed out. But then it would all come crashing back down at me and swallow me whole.

Now that I was grown-up, living in my own apartment and finally not being dependent on other people to take me in, it was slowly getting easier to let Remus close. Of course, I was still scared to lose him again, that he would leave me. But at least I knew that the rest of my life would stay the same it was right now.

Sometimes Remus and Tonks would come over to cook and eat dinner together. Or I would visit them for a movie night.

The two of them had even asked me to become Teddy's godmother which I had nervously yet excitedly accepted.

But that did not stop me from wondering when Remus suddenly showed up on my doorstep without any warning.

“Hey, come in”, I offered.

He did not hesitate to do so, taking off his shoes and jacket in the process.

“You didn't tell me you were coming. Is everything okay? You look like you've seen a ghost. Well, not literally. Just a muggle saying”, I pointed out.

Without answering he slipped onto my couch.

I decided to make him a cup of tea first. Apparently he was too upset to talk.

He shot me a short smile as I placed the cup in front of him.

Then I sat down next to him, contemplating what to do.

To my relief Remus started talking on his own: “What if I passed it down? What if Teddy becomes like me? I can't do this, (f/n).”

“You mean being a werewolf?”, I reassured.

“Yes! It won't take long until his birth. I don't think I can deal with that. It would be all my fault”, he proposed.

“So what? You wanna run away?”, I questioned.

The look on his face said it all. I had not even meant it seriously. How could he even consider that?

“You're kidding, right? Remus, he's your son! He needs you”, I declared.

“Like you're my daughter? Come on, (f/n)! We both know that I'm a shitty dad. You still calling me Remus is the best example for that”, he proclaimed.

“No, it's not! I was fifteen when we first met. Of course, I can't just start calling you dad. My life without you has been longer than my life with you. Don't do that to Teddy!”

“I just think that he would be better off without me. Consider it like that … without me he wouldn't be at risk to be a werewolf right from his birth. Without me you probably would have had a dad from early on”, he considered.

“I thought you were the smart one”, I remarked.

“That's not fair”, he complained.

“I know I never told you. But back at the orphanage the other kids were bullying me for my magic. I accidentally pushed water buckets over, made their ball fly high up into the sky, made pine cones fall onto their heads. Of course, nobody believed me that I had not done it on purpose. The adults were punishing me for it. The other kids were always excluding me or even harassing me. It was the same at school. Though there I was bullied because nobody ever came to parents day. Because my lunch wasn't anything fancy but only what the orphanage could afford. I was alone pretty much all the time”, I confessed.

“(f/n), I'm so sorry”, Remus apologized.

“It's not your fault. Fault isn't even the reason I'm telling you this. What I wanna say is … no matter how hard it is for us to strengthen our relationship, my life has changed for the better since you and Tonks are in it. I'm sure it will be the same for Teddy. Don't give up. If you managed to deal with our situation, then you'll definitely find a way to deal with Teddy. Werewolf or not.”

“I guess you're right”, he admitted.

“And if it all gets too much, Tonks and I will still be there to share the load. You're not on your own”, I promised.

“Thank you”, he whispered. “I wish I could have been there for you sooner, too.”

“You're here now. And you will be for Teddy. That's all that matters now.”

[epickiya722]

Of all "hot takes" some people have about BakuDeku, whether from an anti or a BkDk shipper, the one I hate the most is the "bully actually likes girl who he pulls her pigtails".

It's stupid and to me it doesn't fit for them.

Bakugou and Midoriya don't seem like the type to always have been in love with each other since kids. They seem like the type who would fall in love much later in life. Why? Well, they have goals to become heroes and by canon, neither has expressed being interested in romance at this time or in their past. I just see them falling in love at the youngest being eighteen to early twenties when they have their shit together.

But during their middle school years?

I doubt either would have been like "Oh I've always been in love with you since middle school".

Bakugou already expressed why he bullied Midoriya. Simply put, he misunderstood how Midoriya saw him and has his own insecurities. He had people enable his behavior also. Sometimes, I wonder if the other characters are invisible to the audience because the way people like to just bring up Bakugou and not others whom mistreated Midoriya makes me think so. There were whole adults who bullied Midoriya.

From Midoriya’s side, it wasn't like he wanted Bakugou to bully him. He was aware he was being bullied and it was wrong. He couldn't say anything because who would believe the quirkless kid? And I'm sure he didn't say anything to his mom because he didn't want her to worry. Midoriya is the type who hides things out of the sake of not wanting to bother others. (Trust me, I know the feeling all too well.)

I feel like antis pull the "pigtail pulling bully" card just make BakuDeku seem even worse as a ship than what it is. Yeah, their relationship isn’t the best, but jeez. When you pull that card, even if don't like romantic BakuDeku, you are implying it is romantic somehow in some way. You're admitting that Bakugou has feelings for Midoriya and vice versa. In a way, you're shipping it without shipping it.

And with shippers, it may be because they like the idea of Bakugou and Midoriya being in love since forever, the "childhood romance" trope. The "those feelings have always been there, I was just stupid at the time" trope. It's cute, a guilty pleasure. But BkDks, you're not making the ship look any better if you're using that card. You're playing right into the antis' hands.

Now, if that's how you feel about BakuDeku, the "bully pulls girl's pigtails because he likes her" take, alright. I don't care.

But to me? I just don't see it. I don't.

That "bully likes girl" thing from my knowledge was something our parents told us to make us "feel better" about being bullied and that it stems from sexist views that men are dominant and women are submissive. That a girl should just accept that kind of attention because at least she is getting some attention, unwanted or not. That boys will be boys, they can get away with it. When the victim and bully are the same gender, that's when "honey, it's wrong" and "they're probably going through something or have issues they are unaware of yet".

That's the time people want to show concern.

So to apply it to a ship with two characters of the same sex and where it was clear as to why one of them was a bully and the reasons are nonromantic, it just... it's just strange to me. It doesn't make sense.

If we all know that bullies in real life most of the time bully someone because they have their own issues to work or their home life sucks in some way, why apply it to BakuDeku when we have the reasons why Bakugou is a bully?

What, Bakugou can't have his reasons be nonromantic? He can't have issues and faults and admit to them because he knows he was wrong?

And for Midoriya, why put him in more of the "submissive" role like that? Make him see naive than what he really is in canon?

I don't care to hear answers, these questions are rhetorical.

Just expressing a take that I hate and annoy me.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw: Emotional abuse (mentions)

An alter was venting about something on a different app the other day, and someone replied. I kinda shoved the rest of the memory out, but I couldn't get out one part where they said we were in an abusive environment and hoped we could get out.

My problem is...I don't know how to react to that? I know we used to be emotionally abused by our mother, said environment the person was referring to, and I know it's gotten better, so I just kind of...assumed it was natural strain? Assumed that because I wasn't 100% as traumatized as before I'm fine?

And now I'm questioning everything all over again. I know I'm nervous around her when she's angry, and sometimes if I talk too much she'll get grumpy at me, and she yells at me if my physical or mental disabilities prevent me from doing something, or if I don't get up right that second, but I figure it's just the stress of everything, and it's not her fault, and that she didn't expect to have a mentally disabled child nor did she expect the brunt of my physical disability, and while that doesn't make it my fault, I still feel guilty sometimes, and sometimes if the only chair I could sit in comfortable for extended periods of time wasn't out in the living room, I'd hole up in my bedroom all day. Which is what I did when things were worse. I only stopped when things got better, but school always brings out the worst in her, and now there's the new/advancing disabilities, and how she's made us literally crack into more pieces several times, but surely that was just an accident right? She can't help how my brain responds to stress, and that's the only way she knows how to parent, and it's not her fault that she doesn't have access to therapy anymore, and I feel my tightly bundled ball of yarn self, made of delicate strings relying on not being tugged too hard, completely unraveling, and I don't know what to do. I want to train my dog to help emotional distress but I'm in physical pain and if Mama gets upset that we're making noises or whatever (especially if we play instead) she'll get upset, but she also says I need to take more responsibility, and I'm just so lost.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what's been going on.

I think that some trauma survivors can become hypersensitive to potential signs of abuse. But I also think it can be hard to recognize abuse when you've been through it before because sometimes we've learned to normalize it and so it may make the signs not stand out as much. I think it's possible that both are true here.

It's not fair for her to yell at you when she expects more of you than your disabilities will allow, and just because she may be stressed out doesn't really give her a pass to treat you that way. It's also not fair for her to be upset when you make noise, everyone does. I can see how she may be making you feel like you're a burden to her.

I think it can be hard to entertain the idea that it's not right because it comes along with a lot of overwhelming implications, so it makes sense why you almost want to believe that the effect she has on you is merely an accident. But for the sake of your healing and the healing of your system, it's important to slowly recognize that you deserve to be treated much better.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[the-sweetest-little-angel]

Growing up in house of abuse and neglect, being mistreated for being autistic, make accepting we high support needs difficult. Cause feel gross for having needs, for not being independent and able do things by self. It get worse and worse as grow up. Have knowledge to do some things, but cannot apply knowledge. Feel guilty for receiving help. Plus psychiatrist tell us we entitled and selfish for not being able work job or be where our peers at and we take advantage of parents. He was terrible psychiatrist. Made us cry bad.

But when most of life been told how to be and can't become that, there barrier in way you can't force it, it makes it hard to accept. Like I shouldn't be this way, but I always been this way. I wasn't even independent before, I was traumatized and refused to ask for help. Even if it meant hurting myself. And trauma only makes it harder to support self at all. Always had problems of not eating and not doing stuff to care for self. Always struggled to do things other people my age do. Always treated like everyone else, expected to be like everyone else. But not like everyone else. Often punished for meltdowns and emotion problems. Mocked and belittled for difficulties. Meltdown cause frustrated, but told I was too difficult and I can get help when I calm down and learn act right.

Knowing I always high support needs and have brainy brain difficulties, but forced to be like everyone else that no have those problems hurts. I punished and yelled at and treated as monster for autistic things and other difficulties. I can't understand as well and very slow. I can only be smart in small ways, but only get praised for being smart. Brain works differently. Sometimes I appear smart so they ignore my difficulties and praise the smart part. But it not help. And lots of smart thinking come from trauma and needing to avoid punishment, not genuine smartness. Idea of smart vs dumb is terrible. Cause was always dumb, but held up as smart for what few ways brain could think differently in "better" way than others. Ignored all struggles, ignored way needed help, ignored difficulties, ignore barriers in understanding.

Never fully understood way I mistreated either. Cause very naive and easily manipulated. Even when knew was wrong, everyone told me it not wrong. Can't trust self. Truly learned to blame self. Hate self for disabilities and dumb brain. For not understanding. Meant it was my fault and not that I just...can't do what others can. I'm okay with it now. But. Seeing ways I was ignored, neglected, mistreated, abused and how no one truly cared for me hurt. I was "advanced" so they push this idea I was smart and better. Between brothers abuse and constant belittlement and that, my entire worth focus on being smart. But was never truly smart like other kids were. Always felt inferior. Always struggled when other kids didn't. I just hid it. I let other kids take lead. I hide it because was ashamed and scared. Stayed silent about struggles. Even when given actual help, it didn't help me understand. Brain can't process it right. But I lied. Because wasn't comfortable. Always see everyone else understand when I cannot. Socially, academically, even in normal light hearted fun stuff. Was looked at weird for not understanding, was treated poorly for not understanding, was laughed at for not understanding.

It hard to accept I have needs. It hard to accept I struggle. Because struggle was always mocked and punished for me. Suffer in silence was what I learned. And undoing that and accepting I do need help feels wrong. Like I'm just pretending to get help, like I'm evil, like I'm playing it up to get help. As if it not been my entire life and what I always wanted and needed. Never fitting in. Never able to truly understand. Still catch self being bad to self as if not allowed help. It so hard to unlearn something you internalized from the point your memory began. That you were wrong and not trying hard enough and everyone else is better because they can understand and you can't. It so hard to unlearn that. Hate that I never had chance cause of family I was born to. How easy to overlook me has been entire life. Hate it.

[dragonwlw]

Woman's guilt

You know how sometimes, when you push something in one direction, it swings a bit there, but then even more in the opposite direction? That's how my thoughts went. A bit there, but then more and more the other way.I had a conversation about my relationships. A good talk. Brought attention to things I already knew, but didn't focus right now so much at right now. Made some things a bit clearer, made me think about others. But there was one part of conversation that, even thought it seemed to push me one way, made me swing and the force that grew in me demands to break free.It was the idea that He still loves me and wants things to be better. The way they were.Sounds wonderful, right? No, it doesn't. The words stayed with me for a long time. First, I felt guilt. Maybe I didn't try enough. Maybe I didn't do enough. Maybe I gave up too soon. Maybe I'm too demanding. Maybe I'm judging too harsh. Maybe it's really all my fault. Maybe I should say I'll endure another day, another month, another decade. The more I questioned myself, the more it felt wrong. Guilt felt wrong. Blaming myself felt wrong. Anger arose.I did try enough. I did do the best I could. I didn't give up, not for a long time. I asked and talked and begged and offered and endured and hoped. Initially, when I thought about writing this article (may I call it that?), I planned about writing about His behaviour as I see and feel it. But it feels wrong to do that. It feels wrong to paint a picture of someone, even if it is my truth, because it can never be a complete picture. It feels wrong to write about someone else to begin with. And it feels wrong to need to, to try to justify my feelings, my decisions, my point fo view, my experience.What my anger was mostly about was how unfair it felt to question my own decisions and feeling. Deep inside I knew I have a right to have enough, to not want to live like this. I think what caused this swing was another thing the one I had conversation said - she said the purpose of life is to be happy. I've never thought about it like this. But it makes sense, doesn't it?So I deserve it. Why do I then feel guilt, whenever I want it? Why do I feel like I'm asking too much?I think, or, rather, feel, know, believe, one part of it is what I feel as a woman, down all the ancestral lines, from the women across the world, women throughout history. The conviction we are responsible for happiness of others, and not our own happiness. The idea we have to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others. Do we have to? Of course, to an extend. But I would not call that sacrifice. It's the balance between self and community, in whatever form it is around us. Children, parents, family, spouses, others. But that is not just about being a woman. Yes, often women are the glue. Yet, the balance is essential. Women should not be the only glue. Not be the only ones that have to adapt, change, rewrite lives. I do know and respect the fact that men do it too (I just personally don't know many of those - I'm not saying they don't exist!), but that doesn't change the fact that for women it too often goes further, harder, too far and too long. I no longer feel guilty for slowly, quietly standing up for myself. I no longer feel the need to deny I have enough of feeling emotionally, psychically, financially, socially and sexually abused. (And I did notice that I'm still saying I feel abused, not that I am abused - do I, myself, still doubt my own experience?!?) I no longer want to hide because of gaslighting and manipulation. I no longer want to be what I became: someone who is quiet just not to cause fights, someone who lowers her head just because it's easier, someone who says "ok" when it's not ok, someone who gave up.I might feel the pain of women from times before mine, who gave up themselves, but I do not need to continue their way. I can care and still say "no". I am responsible for my children, until they grow up, and for myself. No-one else. And what do I teach my children, if I show them their mother doesn't deserve to be respected, cherished and be happy? What do I teach them if I don't show them love is an empty word without respect? That family is not a family without cooperation, bonding, support, balance, the good and the bad and the fun and the work?I want my daughter to know that she can be kind and love herself, at the same time that she loves others. I want my son to know how to be a partner, not just husband. And I want both of them to know they deserve to be happy.

Read the full article

[enviablee]

I went to therapy yesterday and started talking about my ex and when i told my therapist out something that i had done i started to tear up and the rest of the day i spent in this weird funk. My parents were in town visiting me(they had driven 12 hrs to see me) and i told my gf at the time that i promise I'll try to be back early so we can go to the pool. Now obvs i got late because my dad hadn't eaten and was driving around to find something. She saw me(on find my iphone) and got mad saying i lied to her and broke her trust again. So i told her that i was sorry but my dad hadn't eaten so we were looking for food and she was like Idc he's an adult he can figure it out. I'm very close to my parents so this hurt a lot. That night i literally stood in the parking lot telling my mom i wish i could jump into the river and die bc i always felt like i had to choose and she said we'll never ask you to choose between her and us. Damn while writing this in crying. I went back to the house and we got into an argument and i told her that i have seen them for a yr and she was like i haven't seen mine for 5 and so i said that's not my fault...i have a good relationship with my parents.

The worst part is the next morning i woke up and made her breakfast and cleaned the house tm and took care of the animals

First. I wanna say thank you for confiding in me and sharing this with me. It’s okay to get emotional and cry and I’m glad you found my ask box to be a safe place to open up about it. Bottling up feelings is THE WORST thing you could do.

Second, Im also very very very family-oriented and I had a similar problem with one of my ex’s in the past as well. So I totally understand how torn you feel right now. I do not think that was very fair of her to come at you like that and accuse you of lying to her without having a proper conversation about it first. Of course, I don’t know your gf, but I’m sure her assumption came from a place of insecurity in herself. This does not justify her actions or words in making you feel guilty, but it’s important to take this into consideration too.

I am very glad you are here and didn’t jump into any rivers because you have a purpose here regardless of if you are aware of it yet or not. Be patient with yourself. I’m not sure how long you have been with your gf or any other details of your relationship, but if this is something that happens a little more often than it should, I would consider having a sit-down with her and laying it all out on the table. For those of us who have a good relationship with our parents, it is okay to put our family first. Do not feel guilty for making time for your family. If she is having trust issues with you but are not properly communicating those feelings and thoughts in a productive way, it becomes more difficult for you to reassure her. Then, this causes a domino effect where you will start to have trust issues with her if she continues to jump to conclusions about your intentions rather than speaking with you first. Like I said, I suggest speaking with her during a time where there’s less tension between you two, calm and level-headed, and explain how it made you feel. In a way that won’t make her feel like you’re pointing any fingers because that may result in her getting defensive.

Sorry for babbling, I hope I helped a lil. Even if it helped you feel heard and understood. My inbox and ask box is always open if you need to vent my friend 💜 continue to be strong but remember it’s okay to fall sometimes, just make sure you dust yourself off and get back up.

[hel7l7]

I usually never do this, but for this one I just felt like I had to. A lil explanation of this written piece. 

I spent a little too long at my parents’ place this week. And sometimes this is fine, and sometimes it isn’t so fine.  When I still lived at home I wasn’t well. My eating disorder and destructive behaviour were out of control and this caused a lot of fights. I was obsessed with my sister and feared deeply for her wellbeing. I wanted to make sure she would never feel the way I did so kept an eye on her at all times. Which was horribly suffocating for her and made things worse instead of better.  Every little discussion between my siblings and my parents would be interrupted by me, and I always just made everything worse so they would get mad at me instead of my siblings. At that time I thought I was doing the right thing by protecting them from my parents. Now I see that I took every chance for them to stand up for themselves, every normal child/parent discussion experience was hijacked by me and turned into a massive fight over basically nothing.  When I was 18 my mom and I spend too much time in the same house, she worked from home and I refused to go to school or do anything outside of the house really. ( That’s on the Anxiety Disorder ) We are both pretty intense people and this just caused more and more fights. I didn’t see how sick I was and how it was my responsibility to change. (But I also really did not know how to fix the mess I had gotten into. Especially not while living in the environment that was part of the problem. ) I couldn’t get treatment because my eating disorder was too bad for the borderline-therapists to be able to treat me and my borderline caused all eating disorder centers to refuse to help me. I was on my own and it felt like it would never get better. 

Long story short, in the end I moved out to a place where I could live on my own with support from professionals who were there for me when I needed them. It was something I both wished for and something that I feared a lot. (thanks to anxiety again.) But I had to go, I knew that staying at home would in the end ruin us all. 

It has been about 3 years since I moved out and a lot has changed since then. I don’t have an eating disorder anymore, and I am currently in inpatient treatment for my bpd. Some days I can’t even imagine how it was to still live at home while I was so sick. I can’t imagine doing the things I did then. I can’t imagine the things I said to my mother during the worst periods. Although I can see how sick I was back then ( anorexia fucking ruined every nice thing about me ) I still feel horribly guilty for all that I made my family go through. 

Being back home this week brought back a lot of memories, a lot of guilt. A little thing happens and I feel myself slipping back into that girl I was. I feel how I panic when my sister and my mom get in an argument, how I want to control it all. I don’t act on my urges anymore. I know they are just fine even when I don’t intervene on every little argument. They have their lives to live. They have their battles to fight. And I can be there for my sister when she needs me, but I cannot take each inconvenience away from her before it even happens.  And I see it in others too, I don’t finish my food because I’m not hungry and their mood shifts. Someone comments on it and we all travel back to a time where I was 14 and each meal was a fight. 

And it hurts. It hurts so much to see how much pain I caused them. And I know it is not all my fault. It was all the different circumstances and people together that caused everything to happen the way it did. And we all have our part in this.  I know that they know that I didn’t do it on purpose. That it was never my goal to hurt them.    And the last part of the writing is about me loving them. I feel like I don’t show this enough, and haven’t showed it enough in the past. How grateful I am, and how much love I carry for them all. ( And therefore the repeat of the last sentence.) 

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[futurebicon]

Finally a new fic

CW- mentions of abuse, trauma,

Because of this awful tweet that some how went viral.

[tweet: @HockeyFanMattew: There’s no way @SiriusLupinBlack is as good of a person as they make us think he is. Everyone knows how he was at the beginning of his career, call it trauma caused all you want but no one like that can become like what he is now. I’ll bet anything it’s all for show and he’s an abusive shit to Remus. I’m just saying if I were Pascal or James I wouldn’t let him anywhere near my kids…]

So here is a compilation of the teams responses to the claim

1. Pascal Dumais proving his son has been a softy from the beginning

[Video: an obviously younger Sirius, probably when he first started living with the Dumais’s, picking up a young Adele by the armpits and spinning her in a circle, placing her back on the ground and picking up Marc and repeating the action and Adele ran to wait her turn behind Louis]

2. James showing Sirius being the worlds best godfather (with a side of the worlds cutest couple)

[Video: Remus sitting against a tree, Sirius’s head in his lap, the black haired man fast asleep as Remus ran his hands through his hair and held a book with his other.

“Hey,” James’ voice was heard as he whispered to his son. “Go wake up Uncle Pads.”

The toddler nodded seriously and ran towards his godfather.

Remus looked up from his book with a wide smile.

“Siri” Harry dropped down in front of him. “‘morning time,” he whispered, not able to wake him.

“Hey,” he bent closer and opened Sirius’s eye. “Morning time.” He whispered again.

Sirius jolted awake, smiling when he saw his godson, pulling him into his chest for a cuddle.]

3. Every. Single. Thing. Remus Lupin posted.

Remus went the whole way to prove these idiots wrong. Replying to every bigoted tweet with an adorable video or photo of his husband.

[Tweet: @LionFan478: @HockeyFanMattew I completely agree. He probably just leaves @RemusLupin alone and acts nice for cameras]

[@RemusLupin: I wish he would leave me alone sometimes: [Video: Sirius sprawled out on top of Remus.

“Baby, I have to get my work done.”

“No” Sirius’s voice was muffled in Remus’s chest.

“Yes,”

“Cuddles”

“After”

“No”]

[@GaretSmith: I’m not homophobic but bet their not even together. No athletes are gay so they’re just doing it for “representation” and “clout”]

[@RemusLupin: [Photo: Sirius and Remus in suits at their wedding] You’re right. The photos didn’t actually put us they outed our fake relationship. And we faked everything else. Even spend thousands of dollars on a wedding to get fake married]

4. Regulus Black in brother mode

[Screen recording of interview: “Sirius was really protective of me.” Regulus said. “I was too young to really understand it but looking back at it, he always took the blame for me. I broke a plate and he pushed me into a different room and poked himself with a piece of the glass so when my parents walked in it looked like he did it. And my parents hit him instead of me. I saw and went to say something and he just looked at me and shook his head in a ‘Don’t say anything. I’m fine.’ After that he kind of just took the blame for everything I did. Like I said I was way too young to understand what I was doing so I wouldn’t try too hard to not get in trouble. And I feel guilty about it to this day. Just thinking about how much he got hurt because of me.”]

5. Sirius’s A++++ Response

[@SiriusBlack: I’ve been having trouble trying to figure out exactly what to say. First and most importantly I am not, have never been, and will never be abusive or do anything to harm the people I love. Secondly, saying that someone who’s been abused can never been a good person is awful. There are plenty of people who have gone through a hell of a lot worse and are a hell of a lot better than me. I am not my past and neither are the thousands of other survivors of abuse. I regret how awful I treated the team every day but I know that it wasn’t my fault and that I have come a long way since then.]

Oh my god this is rushed

LEAVE IDEAS

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Chapter 6

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers)  

Rating: M

Words: 2.8K

Warnings: None really

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary:    Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for… A baby. You can plantonically start a    family, right?

A.N: Kinda a filler chapter and I kinda made JJ a bitch in this chapter, oops. Let me know what you think and reply to this chapter or message to be tagged. much love- Cia

Chapter 6: Well, she’s a blob right now, so I hope not

You groaned when you woke up. 

Your head and throat hurt so much. Spencer stirred next to you, sitting up when he saw you moved. He wordlessly hands you a cup of water, which you take graciously. 

“How do you feel?” Spencer asks. 

“Head hurts.” You groan. 

“Yea, a concussion will do that.” He chuckles. 

You look him in the eyes. “The baby?” 

“Is completely fine.” Spencer finishes. “But about that…” 

“What happened?” 

“I’d like to preface this with it’s not my fault.” Spencer explains. “But when the doctor was telling me what happened, he let it slip that the baby was fine… in front of Morgan and Garcia.” 

You wince. “How pissed are they?” 

“They’re more excited than anything but… She is a little mad that we didn’t tell her especially since she knew we were trying.” 

You nod. “I’ll get her a gift this weekend, she’ll get over it. But that means we’re going to have to tell everyone huh?” 

“I made them agree to keep it under wraps until you were ready. It’s your decision.” 

You nod. “I’ll go to Hotch as soon as I’m out of here.” You say. 

“Y/N, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to--” 

“No, you were right. I can’t keep putting the baby at risk because I’m scared. It’s better to just tell him as soon as possible and deal with the repercussions later.” You say. “You don’t have to, but will you come with me? I won’t tell anyone it’s yours if you don’t want me to.” 

Spencer looks at you incredulously. “What? Y/N, I was not going to make you do this alone. We’re a team now. If we tell them, we do it together.” He says, grabbing your hand. 

“Thanks, Spencer.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------

You never liked being in Hotch’s office which is why you tried to avoid it all cost. Spencer’s leg bounced nervously as the two of you waited for Hotch to finish his phone call. You tapped his leg to get his attention. Once granted, you gave him a look that read Are you okay or do I need to do this alone? Spencer shakes his head no at you and you lean back. Eventually, Hotch hangs up the phone and levels a look at the two of you. 

“What did the two of you need to meet with me about?” He asks. “If this is another coffee dispute, I don’t want to be involved--” 

“He knew that was my mug but that’s now what we’re here for.” You say. “We’re here because I need to fill out a leave form.” 

Hotch looks at you seemingly more confused than he was before but nods anyway. “What leave form do you need?” 

“Um, maternity.” Hotch’s eyes snap back up at you, widely drifting from you and Spencer. You knew you didn’t have to say it, Hotch was a talented Profiler and has been one for years. “I’m about 3 months now, so I’ll need it around November for 3 months and Spencer will need 1 month of Paternity leave--” 

“Ok, let's back up for a second so I can make sure I’m clear on what’s happening here.” Hotch says, holding up his hands. “You’re pregnant?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“And Spencer is--” 

“The father, yes.”  

“And you guys are…?” He trails off. 

“Co-Parents.” You say at the same time as Spencer says “Friends.” 

Hotch sighs, pinching his brow together. “Is your previous relationship going to affect how you work together now?” 

You and Spencer look at each other in confusion for a second before realizing exactly what Hotch was saying to you. “Sir, I understand your confusion but there is no previous relationship to worry about. Me and Spencer have never been in any kind of relationship. We just mutually wanted a kid.” You say. 

“It won’t affect our work, sir.” Spencer adds. 

“Well, except for the obvious way.” You say, pointing at your belly. 

Hotch sighs again, before wordlessly handing the both of you a form. “I suggest the two of you find a better way to tell the team than you did me.” 

You and Spencer wince at that before getting up, mumbling ‘yes, sir’. When you’re almost out the door, you hear Hotch call. “Y/N?” 

You turn back, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” 

“Congratulations.” He says. 

You can’t help the smile that crosses your face. “Thank you, sir.”  

-------------------------------------------------

The two of you decide to wait two more weeks before telling everyone, wanting to find out the gender first. You find out that you’re having a girl and Spencer holds you while crying while the doctor shows you your baby on the Ultrasound screen. 

Your baby. 

The very real human that you and Spencer created was in fact, real and you could see her. 

“Thank you.” He whispers to you, when the two of you leave the office, pictures of your beautiful daughter in hand. “I just never thought I’d get this experience.” 

It’s enough to make the waterworks start again. 

Later, you go into work, lunch for you in Penelope in hand. When you sit the sandwich from her favorite shop in front of her, she says nothing. 

“Aw, come on Pen. You can’t still be mad at me.” 

“Yes, I can be.” She pouts. 

“Look, I’m sorry I kept it from you but I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was sure I was having a healthy baby.” You say, Pen looks a little guilty but still keeps her back towards you. Alright, you think, time to pull out the big guns. “Would you still be mad at me if I let you be first to see the pictures of your goddaughter?” 

That makes Penelope turn towards you with a wide eyed expression. “Goddaughter? As in--” 

“We’re  having a girl.” You say. “And we want you to be the godmother. But only if you want to.” You add. 

Penelope smiles wide before wrapping you in a tight hug. “Of course, I will be! Are you kidding? If something happens to you, someone’s gotta make sure this kid gets into Harvard.” 

You laugh. “Make it UPenn and you’ve got a deal.” 

“You bet! Now, I was promised pictures…?” You smile and hand them over. Penelope coos as she goes through the photos. “Oh, she looks just like you.” 

“Well, she’s a blob right now, so I hope not.”   

Later, you guys get a case, 4 men murdered in New Haven, and you and Penny present the case together. After Hotch calls wheels up, you clear your throat. 

“Actually, if you guys don’t mind waiting for a second, I have something to say.” You say, addressing the larger group. “Some of you already know this but since I’m probably going to start showing more by the time you get back I figure it’s better to tell you now. I’m pregnant, well me and Spencer are. It’s a girl, and she’s due around November.” 

“Woah, are you joking?” Emily says, sitting up fully now. “You and Spencer are having a kid?” You nod and she jumps up to hug you. Which starts a cacophony of hugs and claps on the back in congrats for the both of you from the rest of the team. 

“And you told me there was nothing going on between you and boy wonder.” Emily smirks, when she pulls back from your hug. 

“Believe me when I tell you, she is the only thing happening between me and Spencer. Nothing else.” 

She laughs. “If you say so, kid. But I see the way he looks at you.” She says. You can’t help but to look at Spencer in that moment who is smiling at the congratulations being given to him too. You can’t help but also smile at his warmth. He must feel your eyes on him because he looks up and smiles brightly back at you. Soon, Hotch is congratulating you guys again but directing the team to start getting ready as the Jet will be leaving soon. Spencer walks up to you in that moment. 

“Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?” Spencer asks. 

“Am I ever not?” You counter. Spencer laughs. 

“Call me if anything happens, ok?” 

It was in that moment that you realized just how much of a staple Spencer had become in your life. The idea of him being gone on a case for so long was… actually upsetting you and before you could stop yourself you ask. 

“Can I call you if nothing happens?” You say, instantly regretting how desperate the sentence made you sound. Spencer looks at you confused for a second. “You know what? Nevermind, have fun. Or as fun as murder investigations can get--” 

“Y/N.” He cuts you off, you look up at him and he has a marshmallow soft expression on those honey colored eyes that made you almost melt on the spot. “You can call me whenever you need me. Seriously, ok?” 

You nod at the man. “Ok.” 

--------------------------------------------------------

The team comes back two weeks later when you’re officially in maternity clothes. Which were a lot more comfortable. The only thing you had to worry about was occasionally swatting Penelope’s hand away from your belly. It’s not too long after their return that Penelope is suggesting you guys have a girls night, which you agree to whole-heartedly. You couldn’t drink but you needed to get out the house, you were practically going stir crazy. 

“Alright 3 tequila shots for the grown ups and a mocktail for mama.” Garcia says handing out the drinks, which you gratefully take mumbling a thank you. 

“God, I can’t believe you and Spencer are having a kid.” Emily adds after the group takes their shots. 

“Neither can I sometimes, but I am excited.” You smile. 

“Yea, it’s kind of… shocking.” JJ adds. Your eyes narrow slightly at her tone, something was off but you decided it wasn’t worth mentioning. “I just wished you guys had talked more about it before going through with it.” She shrugs. 

Ok, now you were really confused. “Well, Spencer and I actually talked about it for a long while before actually deciding to get pregnant.” 

“I’m sure you did, I’m just saying I wish you had talked about it more with us.” She adds. 

Your mother used to always tell you no matter how hard you tried growing up, you could never fully hide when you were pissed. Which is probably why Penelope and Emily got weird looks on their face when you said. “Well JJ, I’ll be honest. When I decided I wanted to have a kid with Spencer. I didn’t think discussion needed to be had with anyone other than me and Spencer and on occasion, my doctor because we’re both adults capable of making very adult decisions.” You say, sipping your drink. “What’s your deal with Spencer anyway?” 

She brushes that off. “I just don’t think he’s ready.” 

“Well, I do because he’s an adult who thinks for himself and he told me he was ready. What, do you not think Spencer will be a good dad?” 

She shakes her head. “I know Spencer will be a great dad.” 

“So, you think I’m going to be a bad mother?” You say. JJ says nothing. “Cool, JJ, really cool.” You say, standing up and grabbing your bag. 

“Oh come on, Y/N. I didn’t say that!” She calls. 

“You didn’t have to. Thanks for inviting me, Penny.” You say, clutching your bag and holding the tears that threatened to leave. “I’ll see you guys at work.” 

Leaving the bar, you realize that you were very upset and probably shouldn’t be alone so before you can stop yourself you call him. 

Spencer answers on the second ring. “Hey, what’s wrong? I thought it was girls night.” 

“Can I come over?” You blurt. 

“Here?” Spencer asks. “Yea.” 

“Great.” You say, hanging up. 

The short ride to Spencer’s is filled with the soft sounds of Stevie Nicks playing through your speakers. When you get to the apartment building you bound up the stairs before knocking on the familiar door. You loved Spencer’s work clothes fine enough but if you had to pick a favorite Spencer’s lounge clothes were definitely in the top ten. The man stood in front of you in a pair of gray sweats and graphic t-shirt from a horror movie festival that he had told you he went to every year when you guys were talking about traditions you’d want to carry over to your child. And how he wanted for you guys to go as a family once she was a proper horror movie watching age. He wordlessly steps to the side to let you in the apartment. 

“Hey, what’s up? You never want to come here.” Spencer says, as you settle on his couch. 

“Did I pressure you into this?” You blurt. Spencer looks at you confused. 

“What?” 

“I mean, do you actually want this as much as I do or did I pressure you into this.” 

“What? Of course, I want this. Have I given you any indication that I don’t?” 

“No!” 

“Then, what’s up?” 

“I don’t know. I just, I really wanted our baby and if you weren’t ready then I should’ve thought about it more, asked more but even if you didn’t want it now it’s too late and JJ got in my head and--” 

“Hold on, JJ?” 

“We got into a slight argument at girls night.” You say. 

“And what did she say to you?” 

“That she wishes we talked about it more with them before just having a baby and that she also doesn’t think you’re ready. And she kind of implied I’m going to be a bad mom.” You say, furiously wiping your face as the tears fell from your eyes against your will. “I’m going to be a bad mom.” You repeat. 

Spencer is immediately kneeling in front of you, large hands cradling your face as his thumbs gently wiped the tears from your eyes. “Hey, hey. First, you didn’t pressure me into this. In fact, you gave me time and space to come to my own conclusion and I decided on my own that I wanted to have a child with you. And I came to that conclusion because I know for a fact that you are going to be a great mom. Because I know that there is no one who is going to love this child as much as I will than you. And I know that I am 100% by your side and ready for this, ok? I didn’t ask for a second opinion because I didn’t need one. I knew that I wanted this and that I wanted it with you.” He says, you nod. “Do you need me to talk to her?” 

“No, I have a feeling that’ll only make things worse.” 

“She upset you.” Spencer points out. 

She did but you didn’t want the unnecessary drama that would come with Spencer confronting JJ for you. So you brush it off. “Yesterday, I cried over burnt toast. It’s the hormones.” You say. 

Spencer nods, taking the seat next to you on the couch. “Will watching Mulan make you feel better?” 

“Do you even have to ask that?” 

You’re about halfway through the movie when the thought comes to you. 

“Your lease is up here in two months, right?” You say, turning your attention away from the army singing about their dream girls to the man whose shoulder you had drifted on at some point of the film. 

“Yea.” Spencer nods. 

“Move in with me.” You say. Spencer looks at you for a second like you’ve grown a second head. “I mean, It’s practical, right? I have a house, a room already set up for her, an office I can turn into an extra room for you. It’d be really helpful during the first couple of months. Plus, we wouldn’t have to worry about child-proofing this absolute fire hazard.” You say, gesturing to the books all around you. “And if you decide you don’t want to live there we can find you a new place.” You shrug. 

“You’re serious?” Spencer asks. “You want me around that much?” 

“As a heart attack, I always want you around, Spencer.” You say, before you can stop yourself, look at him with a soft expression.  

“It is practical.” Spencer notes. 

“So, that��s a yes?” You ask. 

“It’s not a no.” Spencer smiles down at you before turning back to the screen. 

  Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​ @no-honey-no​ @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel​ @chenlemure​ @sizzlingclamturtlesludge​ @tclaerh​ @k-k0129​ @takeyourleap-of-faith​ @trashyhipsterfangirl @haylaansmi​ @spencerreidlivesrentfreeinmyhead​ @waspyyy​ @itsametaphorbriansblog​ @octaviaxanadu​ @whxt-to-write​ @meowiemari​ @b99andsoc​ @boba-king-iroh​ @punkndisorderrly​ @richardrosejpeg​ @underratedmisfit​ @gredvb​ @criminalminds4days​ @fanfictionislifetho​ @justpeachykeeeen​ @kopfkinomind @moonchildkei @appleblossoms-posts​ @urguardiandevil​ @cm-imagines-07​ @ajeff855 @reidsconverse​ @isknowplaces @ashwarren32​

@cielo1984​ @rainsong01​ @dracoxmgg​ @m0rce1ddd​ @daviddobrikandyn @mcntsee​ @debiwolf-t​ @jellokangaroo​ @honeyboysteezy​ @sadassflatass​ @itsametaphorbriansblog​ @itsdars​ @themanwiththreephds​ @amidafternoonthoughts​  @poisondragon​ @ncsls0515​ @spencerhotchner​ @myescapefromthislife​ @kasaikawa​ @fakin-it-til-i-make-it​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @rosesonmyheart​ @wickedscorpio22 @little-blue-fishie​ @itsdars​

[therickedkid]

BEING A TEEN IN INDIA :- A REAL LIFE LESSON

So , you’ve heard about how vast the Indian culture is and heritages and all. Yea it’s true we have 29 states and 7 union territories and each state has a different language, dressing and food that too differs in some areas linguistically and dialects too!

American and European teen cultures have been famous worldwide . Parents are friendly , understanding , supportive and in extreme cases they slap their children that’s it.

Well talking about the unheard Indian teen culture , it’s quite the opposite .

In sophomore year there’s a life or death situation for us and our futures. The education system just keeps getting ridiculous day by day and it’s the main thing given importance like everywhere. It was hard for me to cope up back then and the kids these days might have more struggles too…

With parents you can have limited talks depending on how comforting your relationship is . Rules are different for girls and boys . A girl can’t hangout past 9 and dressing sense should be proper (no sleeveless or shorts ) . For boys things are chill long as marks are good

If you’re weak then you’re a burden to the family and if you’re good in studies pressure is build by expectations from people who barely know the real you , it’s just your parents they know

At the age of 15-16 we have to make the toughest and the most confusing choice of our lives . CHOOSING A STREAM . Engineering, Medical , Buisness or Arts and our life choices are ours but constantly they’re questioned by the society making us feel insecure about ourselves.

Economy has been a crisis not only to an individual but to the whole country . Suppose 1$ and 1₹ is equal (hypothetical) so let’s say you have 10$ in your pocket , what can you do …buy some drugstore makeup or have a meal at a fast food chain or buy a basic tshirt or watch a movie etc . Here if you have 10₹ you can barely buy a chocolate or a light snack . And that’s where your economical background starts breaking you down. You’re Rich people worship you and if you’re middle class your personality saves you !

Friendships and relationships are something we all try to handle after all of the above things . But honestly what are they worth for ? Relationships are just a score in Highschool and more emotionally exhausting coz every damn time you wanna hangout, you gotta lie to your parents which you’re secretly maybe guilty about but you have to be it your boyfriend or your guy friend . Next moment you can’t control your feelings or your heart it broken or you’re betrayed by your best friend …who are you gonna share your pain with? Telling your parents …WHOA see you in hell buddy or about friendships , it’ll end up being your fault from their point of view .

But seriously how does that feel when you’re at your worst not ready to face the world and you’re laying in your bed crying and your family thinks you’re sick :) . Now if I broke a glass by mistake not only my family, the whole neighbourhood will know , but my heart, my dreams …yea probably doesn’t matter

But then how do we cope up? Simple looking at your parents faces and the facilities around us . Be it being a better version of yourself or proving others wrong .

There are the consequences of little actions which are unnecessary and sometimes it’s annoying. But 2 lessons every Indian person learns in their teenage is knowing of what’s right and wrong and respecting the culture and Hardwork .

[therandomfandomme]

"Sometimes I really hate Americans"

that is the post I wanted to make yesterday in the middle of the night, but that is not true. I don't hate Americans, I do not know many of them, but you seem okay and I have nothing against you.

It's just that I'm tired.

I'm tired of the us-centric view the internet holds and how it sometimes seems that the USA forgets the rest of the world exists or is not also the USA but then in a different spot.

While the USA has made itself important, the world isn't all centered around it. You're problems might not be my problems and my problems might not be yours.

I know that as I make this post, I make it from a place of privilege.

I am not black, nor islamic, nor jewish, nor Roma, nor disabled. I live in West Europe, my parents are middle class and they are fully supportive of my queerness.

So I cannot make appeals on their part and I know their struggles are global, so in the USA as well as in Europe and the rest of the world we need activism for them, and I'm not trying to undermine them.

I'm also not saying that none of the USA's problems are relevant here, but I am saying that the USA's problems are more advertised everywhere. Like how I know so much about Stone Wall and hardly anything about how I got my rights, to the point that Pride overtakes those voices that fought for me.

In the years 2016-2020 I saw the US president more than my own prime minister, even in the pandamic. I know more about USA politics than those in my own country and I can argue more for changes in America than here.

And it is good that those problems are being talked about. I love learning about what I can do to help and it's good to educate yourself. It's just that American activism isn't something each country can import.

I know that if I make an awareness post for an American issue it will get more attention than if I post about the leader of our growing fascist party comparing his racists and homophobic texts with saying you dislike snow while you actually like snow.

I know that it's harder to start up conversations about the prejudice in west Europe about eastern Europe even though the word slave most likely comes from Slav due to the amount of slaves captured from there during the Carolingian era. And the cold war had a massive impact on the relationship between the two sides, not just between Russia and America.

I know the Wall was a big thing and what's happening on the border betweenthe USA and Mexico is terrible, but I see post that romanticise European borders, completely ignoring how Europe is trying to keep out so many people who are fleeing from wars we contributed to.

I know that smaller issues in America get more attention than bigger issues elsewhere, a gap that is more apparent when it's not an European country.

That's just how it is.

But that's not how it should be.

This post is not made for you to feel guilty, you are watching out for yourselves in an environment catered to you.

However, this post is meant as a call to every American. A call to ask yourself: am I as educated about the issues of other countries as I expect them to be of mine? Do I assume people are American? Will I be less invested in the issues when they're not American?

It's not your fault for your mindset, but I have had so much stress over American politics on top of my worries about my own country and I would like Americans to realize that their issues get highlighted more than others.

We don't make Americans are dumb jokes because we think that, but just because your mistakes get the most attention.

Just be kind and look to help others, I think that's what I want to motto of this post to be. Be kind and advocate for everyone, everywhere

TL;DR: The internet is an us-centric place and that can be kind of annoying when not American. Try to think of your non-American neighbors on this platform and learn about their issues too :D

[helpistolethesecharacters]

A Match Made by the Gods

Part 2

Thor x Male Son of Zeus Reader

Word Count: 1576

Hi Anon! I hope this is what you were after for part 2!

-----------

Thor leaned back in his seat, admiring Y/n as he sipped his drink. They had been meeting a couple of times a week for a drink or two ever since their encounter in the forest over a month ago now.

After the initial misunderstanding between them, Thor had felt a little unsure how to go about acting on the not-at-all platonic feelings that were developing inside him. Normally he would just go for it, after all, you wouldn't know if the other person was interested if you didn't ask, but he was wary. Things hadn't ended well with Jane, and he was hesitant to have things sour between himself and Y/n.

"Tell me more of this 'Camp Half-Blood' that you work at."

The amused expression on Y/n's face was worth more than Thor could say. He did so enjoy seeing the other man's face light up in any way.

"Well," Y/n began with a private smile, "We're all descendants of Greek Gods. We've got the big three; Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, and then the lesser known Gods and Goddesses of the Pantheon. Each one has a cabin for their children when they come through the camp. Some of them are bigger, like the one for Aphrodite's children, and they're usually located near the various things that are the most relevant to that God, like Poseidon's cabin is located right on the water."

Thor watched Y/n gesture with his hands as he got more caught up in explaining. There was so much life in this man. Thor enjoyed being someone who was allowed to see it.

"The kids are great, but things can get pretty crazy when you add in super abilities and prejudices and whatnot."

"Prejudices? What do you mean?"

Y/n took another sip of his drink and mulled the question over. He was sure that Thor wasn't asking about the word itself, more the context. He refused to buy into the popular theory that the God was totally naive.

"Well, its a pretty mixed bag at the camp. There are the kids that stick to their parents particular grudges and beefs with the other Gods and Goddesses in the hopes that if they hold the same beliefs, then maybe their parent will pay them attention or find them worthy, or something. And then there are the ones that can see their parent for what they are. Those are the ones that either make up their own minds or hold the complete opposite opinion simply for the chance to pull the finger, metaphorically, at their absent parent."

Thor bowed his head in thought.

"Those that can see their parent for what they are. What are they?"

His normally boisterous voice was lowered to account for the serious conversation he had stumbled onto.

Y/n leaned in unconsciously as he answered.

"Well, essentially they're the deadbeat parent that left the other parent with a baby and no real way to protect it from the dangers that come for them just for being what they are."

They were silent for a little while, both lost in thought.

"I think that, for the God or Goddess in question, there's an element of shame in there. More than what you would expect for having abandoned their child."

Y/n licked his dry lips and kept his eyes on his glass, now empty on the table in front of him.

"For them, we, the children they leave behind," he clarified with a quick glance at Thor, "are a symbol. We are absolute proof that they are not the perfect beings they pretend they are. We are the undeniable fact that they, the seemingly divine Gods, fell in love and laid with humans. For all their powers, they are not so different from us. The only difference is that we don't deny our faults."

Thor sat in silence, just watching the man on the other side of the booth. For all that both Asgardians and Olympians were regarded as Gods by the humans, they were apparently quite different. He, for one, was sure there was no force on Midgard that could force him to leave Y/n behind. He would even defy his own father if it came down to it. He might not have the other man in the way that he wanted yet, but he was sure that at some point in the future it would happen. Their meeting had been nothing less than an act of fate.

-----------

Something odd was happening to Thor. A few times in the last week his powers had acted up without his prompting. Specifically, the last two times he had walked Y/n back to his car, he had gathered his courage and gone to lean in to try to kiss him goodnight, but instead of either being rebuffed or accepted, thunder would rumble out of nowhere or lightning would strike down far too close for comfort.

It wouldn't affect Thor much, it was his element, but if he was this out of control at the thought of kissing the other man, he was worried that he could accidentally hurt him, or worse.

So tonight when they were standing by Y/n's car and lingering by each other with no other reason to prolong goodbye, Thor was understandably nervous. He wanted so badly to kiss Y/n, but he really didn't want to be the cause of pain for the other man.

He didn't even get close this time, as just as he made to step closer, thunder rolled across the sky warningly. Thor looked into Y/n's eyes, an exasperated look on his face.

"I am very sorry about that, I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't been this out of control since I was much younger!"

He took in the guilty look on Y/n's face and felt his own face shift to match the confusion he was feeling.

Y/n cringed.

"I don't think it's your fault."

Thor shifted slightly.

"Father." He said softly, suddenly connecting the dots from their first meeting. The look on Y/n's face was confirmation enough for him.

"Your father is Zeus, the lightning God."

Thor spoke slowly as he parsed out his thoughts. Y/n nodded with a defeated look on his own face.

"Yeah, sorry about this. I don't know what his problem is, he hasn't interfered in my life in years. To be honest with you I thought he had forgotten he had me as a son."

Thor thought to relations between the realms of the 'Gods'.

"I might have an idea about that."

--------------

'Sometimes it pays to know so many sorcerers.' Thor thought absently to himself as he stood on the top of the Empire State building. He wasn't about to walking into their realm, but he also knew that if they didn't do this now, he might never get up the nerve to do it.

It had taken pathetically little time to find out where the entrance was. Thor knew he could have asked Y/n, but he wanted to sort this out without him, and he just knew that Y/n would want to be involved if he told him why he wanted to know.

Unfortunately, he knew how the 'Gods' tended to think of humans, Y/n might only be half human but that still made him lesser than them in the eyes of those with powers and life-spans like theirs, and Thor wasn't about to put Y/n in that position if he didn't have to.

An earsplitting strike of lightning right beside him brought Thor out of his thoughts. He looked out over the skyline instead of facing the man he now knew was Y/n's father.

"Why have you come here Asgardian? You are not welcome in our territory."

"You know why I am here."

He left it at that. Zeus knew why he was there, and Thor wasn't prepared to pretend otherwise.

The other man turned to stare at Thor. He turned to meet Zeus's eyes. He wasn't about to be cowed by this man. They shared an element after all.

"You are trying to corrupt my son."

Thor rolled his eyes and turned back to the skyline. It was less infuriating.

"I have no such wishes. Your son is a good man. I wonder what stake you could have in the matter. The worried father? I think perhaps you lost that right when you gave him to his mother and turned away. Perhaps you are worried for your power base? I have no plans to sway Y/n from his position, nor any future plans you may have for him."

Zeus was staring stonily at Thor.

"Whether I was there during his childhood in person or not is not the issue here. I was always there in spirit."

He sighed, and seemed to lose his fight.

"I suppose, in the end, you are right. I have no control over who my son dates. But let me tell you. If you hurt my son, not even your All-Father will be able to save you from my wrath. There will be nowhere in any realm that you could hide where I would not find you."

With a last strike of lightning, Zeus was gone, leaving Thor standing on the top of the Empire State building alone.

The one thing that broke through the silence left behind by Zeus was the thought that if he hurt Y/n, he would deserve everything that the other God would heap on him.

[weltenwellen]

I hate it when my friends despise my pain. Every time that I try to talk about my troubles with my parents, they start to talk about theirs and say how it is much worse for them. And in the end, I feel like I HAVE TO feel better because my parents are “better” than theirs, but I just don’t and I’m wondering if I’m being ungrateful

I think pain gives us tunnel vision sometimes. Like you're running really really fast and you get to the point where you're so exhausted that your view gets more narrow and narrow and you notice less of your surroundings. I don't like to say pain makes us selfish but it narrows our view significantly and that happens in my opinion very often when it comes to family problems and pain caused by parents / existing dynamics within your family.

I wouldn't say you're being ungrateful. Life's not a competition for the worst parents in the world award. We can love our parents and acknowledge their imperfection and the mistakes that they have made in raising us. All parents make mistakes because human beings are flawed. All parents do damage, to which extend that depends. I think as I grew older I understood that it's not about constantly dissecting my parent's flaws, faults and past mistakes but to look at what happened in the past and how it affects me in the present and then ask myself how can I make peace with it. Yes, some parents do a better job at parenting than others. Some adults should have never had children in the first place. But to examine whose parents are better, what could have and what should have happened... all those things will only trigger feelings of anger, shame, guilt, feeling ungrateful etc.. It won't get you anywhere that you want to go.

In terms of your friends, I know it can be frustrating when you're always the one who ends up listening instead of talking about what's going in your head. If they specifically make you feel guilty for having "better parents" than them, then maybe branch out a little bit on who you talk to. Your friends should not make you feel guilty for having it better or not as worse as them. But as I said in the beginning, the more you're caught in your own mess of feelings the harder it is sometimes to step out of it and to view and be empathetic when it comes to someone else's mess. So if you can, be understanding, don't stop talking about what is going inside of you but maybe change who you talk to at times.