#sorry I didn’t mean to be sad hahaha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilystyles · 10 months

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written by @lilystyles

my masterlist xx & style masterlist

authors note inspired by a dream i had about this boy HAHAHA so filthy but that's just him. (also i'm sorry if ur names emma! if it is it's still cute to be best friends w ur name twin :3) ALSO it's also inspired by style (taylor's version)!

brief description y/n has had a crush on harry since they were kids but he’s off-limits. him being her best friend’s brother and all she has never made a move, knowing emma wouldn’t approve. but lines are blurred one night and she doesn’t know if she can follow the rules like a good girl.

warnings! slight age gap, SMUT (m!receiving, fingering, daddy kink, choking, missionary, doggy) sexual tension, mentions of drugs and alcohol abuse. wordcount: [around 11.4k words, also unedited sorry:(]

fratboy!older!bffsbrother!harry x younger!innocent!reader

* * * * *

Y/n wished she didn’t fancy him. Oh, she wished it so badly.

On every shooting star or eyelash, she had to decide whether she would wish to forget him or for him to finally notice her, it was a constant tug of war between the two.

Honestly, there were so many things going against him. He was completely unavailable to her and she wondered if that’s why she wanted him most. People always say you want what you can’t have. He was older than her by a few years, he was hardly much wiser but liked to act as if he was.

Or maybe was it just that he was a total prick most of the time, like seriously, so mean?

She couldn’t pinpoint what exactly attracted her to Harry the most. She knew why others liked him, it was because he was so fucking pretty you just wanted to cry. He was that kind of person. And obviously, she had noticed that slight minor detail.

She could agree that was one of the many reasons she had a massive crush on him. But she’d known him for years before he was this fuckboy fratboy who wore backward caps with the body of a Greek god and the filthiest mouth you’d ever heard. She knew him before it all. She knew him when he was just her best friend’s goofy older brother, and she’d liked him then too. Before he was smooth and his words had a sting, when he was just this little giggly loud guy.

She thinks to herself often that a piece of her would always belong to him, even if he didn’t know that. She had tried to like other boys, many many times, and though she did like them she didn’t feel even a smidge like how she felt when she saw Harry. The best way for her to describe being with someone who wasn’t Harry was like being in a state of complete darkness, only this dull twinkle of stars without any moon, and then suddenly the sun came up, all these colours painting the sky as it rose. Harry was the sun for her and those boys were just the stars.

Nearly all the time she wished for a distraction from him but that was hard considering he was always around, Y/n saw him every time she went to their house it was like totally unavoidable. They ran into each other at parties even though he was a few years older, it didn’t matter now they that all went to Uni together. She saw him everywhere! Even when she closed her eyes at night.

So tonight when she went out with Emma she was relieved and sad all at once that he wasn’t at the party, it meant she let loose more than she usually did, completely free of the worry of his judgments. She had a few shots but not enough to get her as wasted as Emma was. They danced and sang, and enjoyed themselves. Exams had been stressful and they needed a fun night, they’d spent months cooped up in the library using flashcards and reading the big textbooks. Y/n needed some time away from her laptop screen and desk. She needed to wear a tight dress, get flirted with, have some drinks and relax. She needed to fucking let loose.

She worked so hard and she was enjoying just forgetting all her worries, Harry included, for a few hours. Sweating and dancing to trashy music was something she had been dreaming of since the start of exam season.

However, the night had taken a slightly sour turn later in the evening when Emma took a few too many tequila shots in a row and spewed down herself, covering her pink dress and shoes and some of Y/n’s shoes too, in sick. She wished she could say this wasn’t a recurring thing but Emma always took it a little too hard on nights out especially when her brooding older brother wasn’t there to help team with Y/n and wrangle her home.

It wasn’t too late probably only midnight, which usually meant they were only just getting started on their drunken shenanigans. But Y/n had to admit she was okay with going home, home being Emma’s place she was roommates with Harry, they were fairly close siblings and their parents felt better knowing they were together. Y/n desperately wanted some water, maybe a snack and to lie down in Emma’s comfortable bed.

As she was trying to find an Uber during the busiest time and hold Emma up from collapsing onto the floor a familiar Irish voice filled Y/n’s ears. She snapped her head around. Oh, thank god.

“Babe! Where are you two off to?”

Y/n turned, “Niall! Hey, we are going home. Emma isn’t feeling too well.”

Y/n had managed to clean most of the spew off in one of the bathrooms at the Uni share house the party was being thrown at, but Emma was all wet from being wiped down and Y/n knew she needed to get her home like now. She was fading and needed her bed and a bottle of water in her, she wasn’t particularly worried but she would feel better if Harry was with her in case something happened.

“D’ya want a lift? I haven’t drunk anything I’m on my way to Paddy’s place,” He said. He looked very sober.

Paddy was his most recent fling.

“You are a gem, I could kiss you!” Y/n said squeezing his bicep in thanks.

Y/n was eternally grateful for him being her saviour, she slid Emma into the backseat and clipped her into the seatbelt, brushing the hair from her eyes. Even with sick all over she was still pretty, Y/n envied that the Styles family had such good genes it was ridiculous. They always looked gorgeous, Anne had created three beautiful children.

Niall knew where to go since he was friends with Harry too and Emma and Y/n of course.

Y/n kept checking through the mirror to make sure she was okay and when she saw the familiar home she sighed in relief at the sight. It was this fairly small duplex but their neighbours were nice and the house was one of Harry’s parent’s properties. So they had it pretty good for Uni students. Y/n was living in a big share-house with a bunch of other people. She wished she was this lucky.

She grabbed all their purses, jackets and keys before she kissed Niall on the cheek in thanks.

“Love you, Babe. Have fun with Paddy!” She winked, knowing Niall really liked this new guy.

Niall blushed a nice rosy colour. “Need any help getting her in?” He asked diverting the conversation.

Y/n shook her head and the two girls stumbled to the front door. Emma was slightly more awake now, her arms slinging around Y/n’s shoulders making the straps of her dress fall as Y/n hunted for the keys in Emma’s little clutch. Y/n had a key to their house for emergencies and she knew where they hid a spare, but she wasn’t going to hunt around in the dark for it.

The door opened before she found them in the clutch which had ten lipsticks that she was rummaging through.

His eyes were so green she felt like they were glowing in the dark. He didn’t say anything he just grabbed Emma and helped her inside. Whispering something to her kindly as Y/n made her way inside behind them. She toed her shoes off before she entered, not wanting to bring Emma’s sick in any more than it already would be.

Y/n sighed shutting the door behind her as she placed all their things in Emma’s room down the hall. Harry had put her on the bed and was taking her heels off for her. He was a good brother. He was protective over both his sisters even though Gemma was the oldest.

“She always goes to fucking far,” He muttered more to himself than Y/n. Who was finding Emma’s sleep clothes in her bedside drawers, knowing she couldn’t sleep in the sick-covered ones.

He didn’t sound annoyed at her or angry, just worried. He was a prick sure, but he cared about his family and friends. His small circle is what mattered most to him. Y/n knew his gruff and broody presence was the exterior of a very gentle soul. When he was at home drinking tea in pyjamas that was the real Harry, not some douchebag.

But she knew that he had a reputation for being a heartbreaker and a lot of people would warn you of him. But Y/n didn’t think that was the real him.

Y/n nodded in agreement, tiredly pushing the hair from her eyes she wanted to tie it up it was sweaty from dancing.

“It’s okay, Niall helped me,” Y/n spoke softly as he stood up from the floor where he’d sat to take her shoes off. He was so much taller than Y/n, his face finally looking at hers now. She felt heat prickle up her back, and the hairs stand on her neck.

He had such an intense stare.

“I knew I should’ve come,” He said. “I worry when you two are alone.”

Two? She thought. He’d never really shown much protectiveness on his end over her, except when guys were being gross at bars or parties. Then he would give them a stern look and tell them to fuck off. But he did that for anyone, Y/n knew that she wasn’t special. She always felt like Emma was his priority always and he didn’t care what she did as long as Y/n got Emma home safe.

It was almost like he could hear her thoughts. “I don’t like when either of you go without me. The stories Emma has told me about what they say to you Y/n, makes me feel sick honestly.”

She despised the way her stomach flipped. She was about to say that she managed okay without him. But his hand slid onto her shoulder pulling the little spaghetti strap back up over her shoulder.

She felt breathless but tried to snap back into her usual self. Feeling more pink than usual, Harry always seemed to have that effect on her.

“I- do your frat friends know how much of a softie you are deep down? Be careful now, Styles, I might go around telling them how nice you secretly are. Ruin that scary reputation of yours.”

He smirked in amusement, Y/n had this ability to melt away that hard shell, stripping him bare to his true self. He hated and loved it all at once, he felt like she saw right through him. Even when people said mean things about him, Y/n never wavered and sometimes even defended him. The only thing she didn’t approve of was his restlessness towards women. He felt one was never enough, and was quite open about that with his hookups. Maybe he just didn’t have the right one.

He left after that so Y/n could get Emma ready for bed. He was pottering about in the kitchen and making tea, she assumed. That was his late-night ritual usually.

Y/n shook Emma awake enough so she could help Y/n a little to get her into some pyjamas. She even got her make-up wipes out and removed all the makeup on Emma’s face and tucked her into bed.

Y/n sighed tiredly at the effort of it all and felt sobered up almost completely now. Emma had the downstairs bathroom to herself usually, it was very clean in there. Y/n decided to take a shower and wash the sick smell off her skin and the sweat from the clubs and the dirty Uni sharehouse.

She washed her hair, face and body. Emma had a lot of really sweet expensive-smelling products, but Y/n had her own little section for when she stayed over. It was all coconut-scented. She felt herself begin to droop in fatigue when she finished cleaning herself. She got the last of the makeup the water hadn’t washed off and changed into a random shirt from Emma’s drawer and some fresh knickers from Y/n’s things she’d left here.

Y/n was here more than she was at her own house. Emma always said she’d kick Harry out and let Y/n take his place, but Y/n knew the siblings actually got on rather well. When Y/n was dressed for sleep she blow-dried her hair on the lowest setting so she wouldn’t wake Emma up, but Emma could probably sleep through an earthquake she was a really deep sleeper. Then she plugged both their phones in and slid in beside Emma tiredly. She shut her eyes and turned off the fairy lights Emma had kept on, ready to lull off.

Y/n had been friends with Emma since they were little they’d all grown up together in Holmes Chapel and it was the kind of place you were just friends with everyone because it was so small but Y/n had always been closest with the Styles family. They lived down the street from each other and Emma and Y/n were never seen without each other. So Harry was used to having Y/n around a lot too.

Growing up he had to make sure nothing happened to them, he was in charge but it was usually Emma giving him trouble Y/n was always a sweetheart, but she had a quick mouth with one-liners that almost knocked him over. He liked that about her, she was sweet but could challenge him feistily without much thought. He’d met his match when it came to arguments.

Often when the parents went away Y/n would be over and Gemma and Harry would have to make sure neither of them got up to anything wild. But it was usually just a sleepover that consisted of them laughing until dawn. Harry was a much lighter sleeper so he would always tell them to shut up.

Harry woke up to the sound of a pin dropping rooms away, he didn’t know how his sister could snore like a freight train and sleep through herself. He also didn’t know how Y/n could share a bed with her. Sometimes he’d get up in the middle of the night for a wee or some water and would find Y/n on the couch with a pillow over her face trying to block out the noise of Emma’s snoring.

So when he heard Y/n roaming about in the kitchen (he knew it was her because he could still hear Emma snoring) he pretended to need some water, wanting to see her. It was probably around 3 AM but he had been unable to sleep. And they hadn’t talked much when she got home. He had wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, but he knew better. She had worn a dress that hugged all her features, it was black and simple. Hair done naturally, and makeup that was subtle but just made her that tiny bit more pretty. She always looked pretty though.

He came down the stairs from his room and walked into the kitchen. Y/n was using the fridge as a light to find things. She was making tea by the looks of things. She found some of the chamomile that she used every night, in turn, Harry added it to the weekly grocery list in case she slept the night there, and hadn’t heard him creep downstairs.

She was in a big baggy dusty blue shirt that Harry actually thought was one Emma had stolen from him, and a pair of soft pink cotton knickers that were very small. Socks covered her feet making her practically silent. He stepped closer into the kitchen waiting for her to turn around and notice him.

She was trying to be very quiet in every step, knowing Harry was a very light sleeper, and not wanting to wake him. When she finally did look over her shoulder her body jolted in fright dropping the box of teabags onto the floor and a hand falling to her chest.

“Jesus, H.” She whispered, raspily.

He let out a breathy laugh. “Sorry, Lovie.”

She squinted in the dark trying to see him. His hair looked messy like he’d been sleeping and he was just in some boxers as PJs. He ran hot in the night.

“Did I wake you?” She asked a guilty look crossing her face. Her eyes softened as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

He shook his head. “Nah. ‘Aven’t been sleeping well.”

She frowned, not liking the sound of that. She didn’t know why she cared, but she did. “Do you want a tea?”

He smiled, dimples showing. “Yes please.”

She brewed two as he whispered the truth about why he didn’t come out with them tonight. He was originally supposed to, and honestly, she had been slightly disappointed about it. Knowing she’d have to handle Emma alone.

But he told her why, in a soft hushed voice. A few guys in his friendship group had said some really mean things to Harry. Not realising he would feel them so deeply, she thought, they must think he was as mean as he seems. He told the story like he wasn’t phased by the mean comments, but Y/n could tell they had gotten to him. She knew better than his cold stone face.

“Alex said ‘I was a homewrecking prick and womanizer’.” He explained when Y/n asked what the boys had said about him. He heard a hint of protectiveness in her voice when she asked with a pinched face, and he felt a tug in his lower tummy. Why did she care?

Y/n looked up from the mugs at him. The dim lighting of the fridge meant she could only see the outline of his body and the shadows of his features. She saw a glimpse of his eyes, and she could see the look in his eyes. He believed them, he believed those comments. They were glassy with discontentment.

Her eyebrows were pinched in empathy, and she was about to speak but he cut her off. “I know I’m a total prick sometimes, but—”

She interrupted him, “—You are a prick sometimes, but people who really know you know what you're like.” She tried to reason with him. Because she wasn’t going to deny sometimes he would be just plain rude to her, and to others as well. But she also knew he did a lot of nice things too. He had a hard exterior and shied off people easily, if you didn’t know him well he would seem rude. But all his close friends and family knew that he was just standoffish with new people. And loved to tease, and was brutally honest, which Y/n had to admit sometimes that hurt more than the teasing comments.

But he did nice things. Wonderful things, that he went out of his way to do. Like helped his sister when she was drunk, drove people home so they wouldn’t have to walk in the dark after parties, picked Y/n up from the library at midnight if she was too scared to walk home, bought chamomile tea in case Y/n spent the night, made enough dinner in case Y/n was hungry, visited the girls when they were studying with snacks and coffee, and he even helped sometimes if they were confused on work. He called his Mum every day without fail and sent his Grandma photos of birds when he saw them.

He baked a new type of cookie recipe every Sunday and gave it to his friends. He adopted stray cats and played Scrabble with his grandparents every few weekends.

Yes, he was a prick, he said mean things and made fun of Y/n when she went on dates with idiots, and he called her names, filthy ones. And sometimes he would barely acknowledge her. But she knew there was a different reason for that, something she didn’t understand. Something between just the two of them. She thought maybe it was just a way for him to protect his sensitive side from people. From her too, hide himself away.

And yes, he did have sex with lots of people, but he did always tell people the truth before getting involved with anyone. He was honest, and open when it came to his boundaries. Y/n thought that was better than lying and acting like you wanted a relationship just so you can fuck someone. She wasn’t saying she approved of Harry’s constant line of girls coming over, maybe that was her jealousy talking, but she wasn’t going to judge him for doing what lots of people did and owning that he did it. He would never kiss and tell, he was respectful and clear with his intentions. What more could you ask of a fuck buddy or one-night stand? If you wanted a good shag no strings attached Harry was your guy, and surely most people knew from the rumours? She just didn’t understand why people put themself in that position if they knew what they were getting into with him.

He wasn’t a devious person who hid behind a mask of fake sincerity to get in your pants. He was blunt, he asked if you wanted to fuck and if you didn’t that was fine. He wasn’t picky with it either he just liked to have a good time.

She felt differently about being with a person. She usually only wanted to be with someone she had an emotional connection with. But she had a smaller level of experience than Harry, so she thought that maybe she was coming from the point of view of a less experienced person. But the point remained, Harry had his flaws, like anyone but he was good at his core. His intentions remained good. No one is perfect, and she knew Harry was far from it but so was everyone she knew!

She knew her flaws too. Flaws made people human. And she appreciated him despite it all.

“And what is that?” He was standing closer now and she felt suddenly very aware of the fact she was only in knickers and a shirt her nipples could be seen through. The way he was staring her down made her aware of her appearance, he looked almost hungry.

“Well as someone who’s known you for as long as I can remember. You’re kind, honest, open, and a good person with a rotten mouth.” She looked away from him as she spoke, flushed by his close presence. She tried not to stumble on her words but was struggling and honestly felt her hands tremble when she felt his breath hit her neck.

“Kind?” He scoffed eyes trained on her face, it was free of makeup. Her lips looked pouty and her eyes droopy in tiredness. She looked perfect. She always did. Even that one week during the bleak middle of winter when she had been sick as a dog; red nose, glassy eyes, snotty and nasally, hair unwashed, skin red, she’d looked beautiful.

“Harry,” She said his name meaning she was serious, she usually called him anything but, “these fucking friends of yours clearly don’t see you like we do.”

“We?”

She leaned back against the drawers sighing, “We. Me, Emma, Niall, Gem, Anne. People who know you, people who love you.”

“You love me?” He teased.

She rolled her eyes. Of course, that’s what he got from that. He was so annoying.

“You’re alright.” She replied, they both knew she did, handing him the tea. He said a quiet thanks.

He placed it back down, where Y/n was letting hers cool. The face she had made smile only seconds prior melted back to a stoic look, more serious.

He hugged her and Y/n was surprised, but she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled back when he started to get intoxicated on her sweet scent, her skin smelt edible and her hair was soft against his cheek.

“I’m sorry if I’m a prick to you.”

Y/n didn’t mean to but she laughed. A giggle bubbled from her tummy out of her mouth her as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“What?” He said, fighting back the smile that threatened to tug on his lips. It was contagious. He was trying to keep his attention very far from her chest.

She didn’t know what made her say it but, but she told him the truth. “I like it. It's like a game we have. A Harry and Y/n one. I tease you, you tease me. You act like I don’t exist most of the time and I act like I don’t care. You’re mean to me and I let you be.”

Hearing her say it out loud was kind of like being winded. It had always been their game, a game neither mentioned, some sort of unspoken thing they shared.

She could tell he was kind of speechless.

“I don’t know why I let you.” Now that was a lie. She was trying to backtrack.

“I do.” He said stepping closer. His bare legs were pressing into hers. She didn’t say anything, waiting for him to tell her. But he didn’t.

“You gonna tell me?” She said quietly, eyes widely looking up into his, as his hands rested on either side of her on the bench. He leaned in closely. So they were eye to eye.

She was trapped in his arms and had nowhere to look but at him, she squirmed under his smouldering eyes.

“You know why too.”

She didn’t speak. What did any of this mean? She had waited a long time to hear him apologise for being a dick to her, and he just did and she’d told him that she liked him treating her that way. What she meant was, that she liked him, she let him treat her that way because for Harry she would do anything. She didn’t care if that made her pathetic, at least she knew it was, at least she could admit it. I mean, wouldn’t you let him treat you like shit under his shoe if it meant he was at least looking at you with those gorgeous eyes? Could hardly blame the girl.

“Why did you have to meet Emma before you met me?” He almost whined with a soft scoff. As if complaining at fate’s hands for dealing them these cards.

She felt her heart rate speed up.

“What do you mean?” She asked, playing dumb. He was talking so much and she was practically drunk on his sultry voice. It was so deep and she just wanted to hold onto the sound forever and feel it melt into her spine like it was now, and listen when she wanted to sink into a state of lust.

He lifted one of his arms and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “Then she’d be the one who has to follow my rules, and stay away from you. I could be the one in control. Have you all to myself. No sharing.”

Y/n licked her drying lips, as she processed his words. He wanted her all to himself? “Wait, wait, she has a rule to stay away from me?”

Y/n knew Emma didn’t like it when her friends slept with Harry, it was just weird and they would always complain about how mean he was after, or even try and talk about how good he was in bed. She just didn’t like her friends dating or having anything to do with Harry period. But she assumed it was different for Y/n since she knew Harry pretty well and would consider him someone in her close circle. Even if he did ignore her a lot. She assumed she was fine with Harry and Y/n at least being friends. Y/n had bottled all her feelings away for years, she didn’t think that would ever change. Even if Harry liked her back, she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise their friendship.

“You’re her friend, not mine.” He said, mocking Emma’s tone, making his voice all squeaky and high-pitched.

Y/n frowned. Emma had always been weird about this. She could understand to some extent, but sometimes Y/n wished she could just have a normal conversation with Harry. “Why can’t we be friends? I’ve known you my whole life, and haven’t slept with you. I think I should be allowed to have a conversation with you. I think I can handle that without pulling my pants down.”

Harry’s lips kicked up in a smirk, “You aren’t wearin’ any pants.”

“Oh shut up.” She replied cheeks bleeding pink.

“She trusts you.” Harry said trying to make Y/n feel better, “She just doesn’t trust me.”

Y/n smiled at that, trying to lighten the mood once again. “Who would? I mean this with respect, but you are a bit of a slut.” Her hand came up to play with the cross on his neck.

He giggled, “I simply enjoy myself openly. You should try, Y/n, it’s fun bein’ bad.”

She felt her cheeks warm further, “I can be bad,” Y/n argued but it was no use.

“Oh thas’ such a lie, Baby.” He laughed at her statement rolling his eyes, and Y/n’s heart skipped a beat at the nickname. He’d never called her that before and it brought a rose colour to her cheeks that Harry adored on her. She was so easy to make nervous. But he didn’t think anyone was as good at it as he was.

“It’s not,” She pouted.

He cocked his head in challenge. “Name one naughty thing you’ve done then. Bet y’cant.”

She tried to think, that growing up she was relatively good and even now she hardly participated in much other than seeing Emma or Niall and studying. But she felt this urge to impress him, make him proud almost. Or at least shock him.

“I stole a lolly once.”

Harry found a smile slipping onto his face, he’d always seen Y/n as a fairly innocent person. And she was, for the most part. Soft and sweet in real life, like a bunny or puppy. So soft, and you just want to pick her up and put her in your arms and tell her how cute she is. But she had some mischievousness to her, like all people. Something buried underneath her innocent aura, Harry thought of that side of her often pondering what she was like when she wasn’t hiding and she’d been cracked open raw and teased beyond return.

“Oh yeah? Anything else?”

She tried to think of what would shock him but she fell flat. Until—but no she couldn’t say that, it way was too personal.

“I can see you thinking very hard, c’mon tell me.” He whispered. Y/n shut her eyes. His voice sent shivers down her spine.

Fuck it. It was like she had no control over her mouth, the filth just slipped right out of her pouty lips. She wanted to blame the alcohol, but it was probably just his voice that had her feeling intoxicated.

“Sometimes when I touch myself I think of you.”

Harry practically froze, his lips opening to show he was indeed very surprised to hear that. There was a beat and Y/n didn’t know if she regretted it or not. She was about to tell him it was a joke and run for her life. Change her name, and move to Mexico. Her Duolingo lessons weren’t going to be enough to get by, she’d have to start really learning how to speak properly now.

Until.

“What do you think about, Y/n?”

She felt herself getting hot, she’d really fucked herself here. He would never let this go. Call it the tequila but Y/n wasn’t lying. Truthfully the only thing that got her off was Harry, she couldn’t cum unless his green eyes flashed in her vision. Which she did feel bad about like she was a pervert. But believe that she’d tried to think of others, or watching porn. But she could only ever think of him. Otherwise, it wasn’t as good, and she didn’t get the release she was chasing.

“A lot of filthy things, H.”

He bit his lip, “Like what?”

He could sense her getting shy once more as she crossed her arms and looked at her feet, cheeks all pink and pinchable. “Don’t get all shy on me now, Baby, whatever you’ve touched your lil’ clit too I’ve probably stroked m’cock too.”

Y/n was surprised, head snapping up at his words, and though he was normally very honest even he seemed a bit more nervous to admit it. He was just as bad as her. And he had such a filthy mouth, but that was not a surprise to her. She was just surprised he thought of her, she never saw herself as particularly desirable. She always imagined Harry to like those people who look good running in slow motion.

It took a lot of courage as she began to speak. “I usually think about you…fucking my throat, using my mouth however you like. I like the idea of those hands pulling on m’hair.”

Harry felt his pants twitch. His expression and dark eyes egged her on to continue. He didn’t know she was such a little minx. He’d always imagine her to like soft, gentle caresses. Which wouldn’t have bothered him, though he was fairly kinky, but he would’ve done whatever she liked.

She didn’t know if he would like this but she felt brave, “Like the idea of calling you Daddy….Want to be good f’you, Daddy.”

That’s what made Harry unable to keep his hands by his sides. He grabbed her face forcing her to look into his eyes.

“Wanna be good?”

She nodded coyly, eyes wide. His hands were warm and she practically melted into them.

“Sleep upstairs tonight then.” He didn’t ask her, he simply instructed her. And who was she to say no?

She nodded once again and he patted her lower back as if to say off you go then. She listened and walked slowly in front of him. She felt his presence close by, the sweet citrus and woodsy scent that followed him was right by her nose and she could hear his slow calm breaths.

Her beating heart was thumping against her chest and she wondered how it didn’t fill the quiet house (besides Emma’s window-rattling snores).

He noticed her shaky and anxious energy and his hand slipped onto her waist. “I jus’ wanna hear about y’dreams somewhere comfier, Petal, if thas’ all yeh’ want that’s all we’ll do. Plus I’m saving y’from m’lumpy couch.”

She couldn’t complain about that.

As they walked inside she was welcomed to the scent of Harry, she’d only been in Harry’s room a few times, but never properly. He ushered her to the bed and she sat down tucking her knees to her chest and resting her chin. Examining the walls of famous singers and art that covered it. In the corner by his desk where the only source of light in his room was a glowing lamp, other than some fairy lights above his bed, was a little picture wall.

In the mess of polaroids and film, she saw one of Y/n, Emma and Harry when the two girls had graduated school. He was between them arms around their shoulders and looking to his left at Y/n who was laughing happily with Emma at Gemma who made some joke about something. Y/n knew the picture instantly because it was one of her favourites of him.

“What else, Baby?” He said softly sitting in front of her, interrupting her thoughts of that day when he’d driven home to visit them for it, and looked over to see him leaning against the headboard, arms interlocked behind his head.

“You go.” She said, which made Harry laugh.

“I’m pretty filthy Honey, you know me. I don’t know if it’ll be something you like.”

She looked at him stubbornly. “Try me.”

He shut his eyes and only now did she see he was nervous too, “I often find myself thinking about you on your tummy, underneath me, letting me stuff you full while my hands pin yours to your back so that you’re at my mercy.”

She liked that, her tummy twisted in yerning. “I’d like you to be in charge. Help me forget.”

He was looking at her like she was the sweetest most edible thing. “Can I kiss you?”

She nodded and he placed his hands in her hair, kissing her softly at first just a whisper of a touch of two mouths moulding into one. She leaned in further into the warmth of him and hugged her arms around his broad shoulders as the kiss began to deepen, he tasted like a hint of beer and minty toothpaste. Her chest burned with what only could be described as Harry.

He moaned into her mouth softly, sighing at the taste of her sweet tea-soaked lips. The warmth of her curves pressing into him was comforting, and though he had a desire to completely ruin her until she was crying his name, he liked taking it slow and enjoying this first kiss with her. Exploring her mouth, teasing his tongue against hers, and soft hands roaming up and down her back.

He rubbed her back under the soft shirt, no bra strap blocking his gentle scratches. She arched into his touch.

After all, he’d been dreaming of it for years and he wanted to take his time, even though he was crazy for her and felt this deep animalistic desire, he was gentle with her. Like she could break if he was too rough.

The kiss began to pick up as she slid into his lap, and he encouraged her to rub against his bare thigh. She ground against his tiger tattoo and he could feel the wetness between her thighs leaking onto him already. She moved slowly and uncertainly, his hands moved from her shoulders down to her hips forcefully moving her against him creating friction that made her create a soft whiney noise in the back of her throat. He swallowed the sounds eagerly.

He pulled his lips away breathlessly and dragged his mouth down the column of her throat, kissing sucking and biting wherever he could. Her skin was soft and she smelt like coconuts and something that was just her. He would’ve eaten her whole if he could. She let out soft breaths and sighs, her hips had stopped moving — too distracted by his magical lips.

He stopped to look at her. Really looking.

Her lips were more red, almost like she’d been nibbling on them, and they were all swollen from his kissing. Her cheeks were dusted in a warm pink. Eyes wild and doe-eyed looking up at him. She was picturesque. He wanted to remember her like this forever and be able to come back to this moment at any time. He soaked it in, hoping to remember.

“You seriously are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.” He said softly running his big hands through her messy hair. His rings were cool on her skin.

“Harry, don’t.” She said bringing her hands to cover her blushing face.

He sighed. “I’m sorry for not telling you every second of every day.”

“Don’t lie, H. I’ve seen the girls you fancy.”

“Only ever fancied you.” He said his hands grabbing hers and moving them away she looked at him, shocked. “Only ever look for your face in a crowd, Baby.”

She didn’t know what to say so she kissed him and he moaned softly when she rubbed herself against him. He was getting harder and harder with each movement until eventually she stopped and moved away.

“Can I suck you off?” She asked, and the filth was shocking to hear from her soft voice and lips.

He nodded hand stroking her cheek. “Yeah, ‘course.”

She moved down to her tummy between his thighs and looked up at him. “I don’t really know what I’m doing.” She whispered.

He laughed softly, there she was, there was his Y/n. “Thas’ okay, Love, I’ll teach you.”

She slid her hand up his thigh and her fingers found their way into the waistband of his boxers and began to tug them down when he gave her a nod of approval. His stiff dick sprung out against his tummy, and he was completely naked for her. The head of his cock was oozing precum and it dripped down to his balls. Even his dick was pretty. Which she should’ve expected.

It had a blush-coloured tip similar to the shade of his lips, he was veiny and long. So long that he reached his belly button. He was girthy too and as she moved her hand to wrap around it, he hissed at the contact, and she almost dropped her jaw at the fact her fingers weren’t touching. He smirked down at her.

Her reaction was boosting his ego in just the right way.

“You alright down there, Petal?”

She nodded, her lips grazing against his now throbbing cock. He ached for her. The sight of the swell of her ass and plush thighs was making him very needy.

And to the surprise of them both she pursed her lips and spat down onto his dick. She was basically drooling all over him, it leaked down over the length of him coating his prick and he practically whimpered at the sight — it was one of his dreams. She then took him into her mouth and began to suck and lick, slowly taking him deeper and deeper.

His hands had slipped into her hair holding it back from her face and he was letting out loud gravelly moans and sighs of pleasure. He was trying to stop his hips from rolling up into her throat. Her mouth was so deliciously warm and tight against him, he felt like a man deprived of water near a watering hole. Her tongue glided around swirling and sucking and teasing the tip of him. When she began to fondle his balls as well, gently massaging them, he let out a particularly loud whiney noise. She popped out off of him.

“Shh, don’t wanna wake Emma up.” She said before dripping another trickle of spit onto him and continuing her fast and merciless pace on him.

“Can’t help it, when you take me like that. S’fucking good.” He said, as his hips jutted into her throat roughly, without realising. “Shit, fuck, sorry,” He said hearing her throat gag on him.

She just went deeper onto him, until her nose was tickled by the snail trail on his tummy. Pulling back when all her breath had gone. She hardly needed to be taught.

She took deep breaths of air and stroked him slowly in her hand, he was panting at her touch.

“You can use my throat however y’like, Daddy.” She said, voice all raw from his cock having stuffed it just seconds ago, before going back down onto him.

“Just tap m’leg if you need me to stop,” He said and she nodded making a noise around him. His hands pulled her hair up away from her eyes. “sucha’ good fuckin’ girl.” He said pushing her head down once more. Again and again, until he was close to cumming. Which had happened fast, and he didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed.

His balls ached for release and her teasing little hands that twisted and stroked him, along with her tongue, had him so loud he’d taken to biting his lip in an attempt to keep his sounds from slipping out. He pulled her off him stroking her cheek gently, swiping some tears away. Her eyes had begun to leak with tears from how deep she was taking him, and it made him throb.

“Gonna’ cum soon, Baby.”

She nodded. “Let me have it please, want your cum. Want it all.”

He stuffed her mouth once more at her words, rutting into her throat until she was gagging and coughing around him. His eyes squeezed shut, “Oh fuck, cummin’,” he hissed. Opening his eyes to watch the sight below him.

Her eyes looked up at him, and that’s what sent him over the edge. With one last thrust, he was cumming, hard, so hard his eyes saw white spots and he shuddered into her. She pulled back coughing, she’d swallowed as much as she could but some of it made its way out and dribbled down her chin. She swiped the rest with her thumb and licked it up.

She was just perfect.

He pulled her up by her chin and kissed her.

“That was the best blowjob I’ve ever had.” He kissed her again before asking her, “Let Daddy take care of ya’ now, is that what y’want sweet girl?”

She nodded. “Yes please.”

“Good girl. So polite.” He said kissing her forehead. His hand slipped into her underwear circling her clit, which was slick with arousal. “So wet for me.”

She sighed leaning closer to his shoulder, pressing her forehead into him to cover her whines. He started to circle her clit faster, and her hips squirmed against his hand he then started teasing her weeping hole. She moaned deliciously into his neck. Felt so good.

“Come rest against me, my love.” She shifted her body at his command and turned to face away from him. Pushing her back into his chest, her bum tucked right against his stiffy. His legs spread open for her to sit in front of him and he grabbed the waistband of her undies pushing her undies down and she threw them to the side with her ankle. She leaned into his shoulder head tipped back and he watched from over her shoulder. Just like the rest of her, her pussy was beautiful. It was glistening in slick and begging for his attention. Beautiful and spread for him like a flower, her swollen bud was puffy and eager to be sucked, licked, and teased.

His hand slipped past her tummy and began to rub her softly coating his finger in her slick, preparing her for him to slip his fingers in. She sighed breathlessly.

“Please, Daddy.” She whispered which made his cock twitch from behind her, she felt against her back.

He slowly slipped one in and her mouth opened but no sound came out until he was all the way inside, knuckle deep, which made her let out a broken cry. “Oh fuck, Harry.”

He began to thrust and curl his finger, moving faster and faster. Her tight pussy clamped down onto him, pulsing every few seconds, as she cried out softly into the room. Her cheeks bloomed with warmth and her body squirmed in pleasure as his other hand kept her legs spread for him. His thumb drew lazy circles on her puffy clit which had her pussy leaking even more onto his finger.

“Like when Daddy takes you like this?”

She nodded. “Mm.”

“Say it, Baby, tell me you like it.”

“I lov-love it when you take me like this.” Her voice was so soft and airy.

He began kissing her neck and shoulder, sucking a mark near her ear. She was too distracted to care about it leaving a mark tomorrow. “My pretty Baby, likes when I tease her little pussy?”

She made a whiney noise and her legs twitched almost shutting.

“So sensitive f’me.”

He slipped another finger inside her and she dripped out even more onto him, crying out softly into the hand she’d brought to her mouth, her slick trickled down her thighs too now and he didn’t slow his movements only went harder and faster into her. Loving the way she melted into his touch.

“Gunna’ cum for Daddy?”

She nodded biting her lip. “‘Feels so good. I’m goin’ ta’ cum soon, Daddy.”

He kept going kissing her skin and massaging her thighs and breasts and eventually her legs shook hard, and shut on his hand and she cried out and pulsed rapidly around his fingers, and he could only imagine how good he’d feel with her cumming on his cock like that. She looked so beautiful he felt like he might cum then and there on her back without having even touched himself. As the peak of her orgasm washed over her he slid his fingers out of her and brought them to her lips, giving her just the middle finger.

“Suck,” He told her.

She obeyed sucking dazedly still trying to calm down from her orgasm, when he pulled it out he brought the other one to his lips.

“Mm.” He said softly, she tasted tangy and sweet.

She took some deep breaths as he held her close. “Thank you.” She whispered softly, shutting her eyes and catching her breath, she can’t remember the last time she came like that. So hard that she felt it in her entire body, so hard she saw stars and couldn’t contain her noises.

“Sucha’ good girl, you’re welcome my sweet girl.” She turned her head to the side and kissed him, very softly and slowly. Nothing feverish and rushed like their previous actions and his hands massaged her bare hips, kneading her plush flesh contently. God, she was just so soft, so warm, so wet, and so perfect. It was like he’d dreamt but better, if that was even possible. He was drunk on her touch.

When she pulled away she looked up at him. “I want your cock, please, I need it.” Her little pleads made his balls ache, and he wouldn’t have to be asked twice by her.

“Okay, Baby.” He said running a hand through his hair. She lifted her shirt over her head and threw it aside, completely bare, so perfect to him. Her nipples harden at the cool air, and her skin pimpled. Her body was perfect, every scar, mole, mark, and spot he’d have happily kissed and run his over for hours if she’d allow it.

He grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and placed it down in the middle of the bed right in front of her. “Why don’t you lie on your tummy f’me, Petal? Rest on the pillow.”

She nodded and put her hips in line with the pillow, her bum sticking in the air ready for him. His hands rubbed her softly, her skin was so smooth under his hands and he wanted to sink his teeth into her plush flesh. She was so fucking perfect, and the way their bodies knew exactly what to do to the other was just magic like they were made for one another. Just like a pair of contrasting colours splashed on a canvas together, it just worked.

“One sec,” He said leaning over to his bedside table pulling out a condom and ripping it open. He slid it over his leaking prick that was already standing tall at the sound of Y/n’s soft moans and perfect, wet, pussy that was waiting to be stuffed full of him.

Before he slid himself inside her she turned to look over her shoulder. “I ‘aven’t in a while. Be gentle please, Harry.”

He kissed her forehead, “‘Course, Gorgeous.”

He held her hand in his reassuringly as he slowly dipped the tip inside of her, feeling her begin to stretch for him. She was tight, from nerves and the fact he was just so fucking large. She wasn’t nervous because of anything being wrong, she just wanted Harry to like her. She didn’t know how, but he had this incredible talent of making her nervous always. He was just so much more experienced, older, and had much more sex than her. She just worried she wouldn’t be up to his standards.

But when he began to coo her gently and rubbed her back and bum with his hands to relax her, she began to feel less nervous. Harry, though a prick with a filthy mouth and a bit of an attitude problem, would never want anything bad to happen to her and liked her for who she was, as she was. They’d been around each other for years after all, and with that sort of time, you just understand each other. He was a mean prick who had sex with just about anyone and she was a naive good girl who strayed from any attention. But they could still appreciate their differences. She was pleasantly surprised at how well their bodies understood each other too. His cock was the perfect fit for her, and she melted into the pain.

Her thoughts of nervousness were lost when he had stuffed her completely full of him, she could feel the tip of him teasing that spot inside her that she could only ever reach with toys, she let out a whimper. “Fuck, Harry.”

It was millions of times better than anything she’d ever experienced.

He hissed throwing his head back, feeling her stretch around him. “So tight, Love.”

He began to move, keeping true to his word, slow and gentle thrusts. Remaining as shallow with his movements as someone could with a cock that big.

Y/n’s eyes watered in a mix of pain and pleasure. Her hand flew back again to grab his wrist. “S’big, Daddy.”

He moaned at the name, it was just so fucking cute coming from her. He wanted to take care of her when she acted all needy like that, “Yeah? Feels big inside your little pussy, doesn’t it?”

God, he was filthy, he made her stomach curl with desire. She never thought she’d like dirty talk all that much, before this she’d felt it was corny coming from boys but coming from his lips it was the closest thing to heaven she’d ever heard.

She nodded into the bed and took her hand back to grip the sheets but he grabbed her hands and held them behind her back. He used them as leverage to push her back onto him, pinning her hands back, just like he said.

“Feeling alright, Baby?” He asked.

And she nodded once more.

“Tell me.” He told her.

“Feels fuckin’ amazing.” She said struggling to find the words, her orgasm had made her foggy and his cock bottoming out made it difficult to think of anything else.

“Feel so good on m’cock, fucking made to take it, Y/n.”

That made her shiver, the pain had started to subside turning into just pleasure now. “Can go faster, H.” She said just above a whisper.

As he began to go faster and deeper like he’d been desperate to, she got louder and louder, and her pussy made these filthy noises against his cock. He was ruining her completely and she was enjoying every moment. Her eyes turned glossy in pleasure.

He let go of her hands to grab her hips and push her back harder, she began to move her hips to meet his, and he cried out.

“Fuck,” He swore, tossing his head back stray curlings falling over his eyes when he looked back down at her.

He squeezed the flesh of her ass and moved his hand forward onto her hair gently tugging it backward, as he began to pound into her even harder.

“Such a pretty little thing, letting me ruin you, what a good girl.” He said his voice all rough and coarse.

She keened clawing at the bed, “Feels so fucking good, Daddy, I love it thank you.”

Even in bed, she was so polite and obedient, that he wondered what she would be like after being edged for a while. Would her obedience turn to brattiness? He would have to try another time. Made him speed up even more at the thought.

“Wanna see tha’ pretty face while y’taking m’cock,” He said deciding to turn her onto her back he got rid of the pillow, flipping her to face him. Her cheeks were flushed rosy pink, her hair a mess from his pulling, and her eyes were practically black her pupils had gotten so big. She was perfect, his perfect good girl, and so beautiful he could’ve cum just looking at her.

He leaned down kissing her lips, as he continued his thrusts. He dragged his lips down along her jaw and down until he had one of her breasts in his mouth. Her nipples were sensitive to his tongue and her hands moved from his hair to his shoulders, scratching along the peaks of his back. She felt so close, she couldn’t control any part of herself.

He moved his attention across to the other nipple, massaging the one that had just been marked with his mouth. She was moaning breathily, back arching up into him. She was so sensitive to his touch, so much so that every brush of skin that he dared to touch felt like it was on fire.

“I’m getting close, Daddy.” She said and he began going even deeper, he could tell by the way her pussy was clamping down onto his prick harder and harder and more often that she was on the brink. It made his stomach turn.

“Atta girl, cum on Daddy’s cock.” Her legs were shaking and she screwed her eyes shut at his words.

“Don’t stop, please.” She said, clawing his back.

He didn’t dare change anything he was doing, he stayed hitting that spot deep inside her that made her scream out and claw him extra tightly. She pulled him closer so his mouth was hovering over hers, her legs wrapped around his back and she clawed his arms desperate for her release. She felt her stomach unravelling in the familiar feeling of her orgasm.

“Gonna- fuck, gonna cum!”

He felt her pulse rapidly on his cock and whined into her lips at the feeling. She made guttural moaning noise, all loud and high, as her legs squirmed and she shook around him. He helped her through her orgasm, stroking her cheek with his hands pecking her lips until she came down from it.

It was even more intense than her first and his cock greedily continued pounding her hardly giving her a chance to rest. He moved her leg up a bit higher against his hip and began to hit that spot even harder than before.

She whined hands reaching up to his hair, tugging it, and he moaned. He loved it when she did that

“Can you handle another, sweet girl?” He asked he had no shame in wanting to watch her cum once more. It was too beautiful of a sight you couldn’t blame him, he was greedy for more.

And she nodded tiredly. “Think so. Might have to make me take it though, Daddy.”

Her voice drove him up the wall. “Fuck, so fucking perfect f’me. Love this pussy.” He moved his hand down to rub her clit, he wanted to speed up this next orgasm to be in time with his, and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Watching his cock disappear in her was a sight he hoped to hold onto in his mind. It made his eyes roll back in his head.

He kept throwing his head back and grunting as he continued the final stretch before his orgasm.

“Can you choke me, please? Wanna cum with your hand around m’throat, please.” She asked and it took him by surprise. Little innocent Y/n liked being choked too? God, this really was his idea of heaven.

“Please, what?” He asked sternly.

“Please, Daddy.”

He smirked, and Y/n knew she was done for. He slipped his free hand around her throat, rings cold to her neck as squeezed the sides, he watched her become dizzy with pleasure and she start to show signs of cumming again, which was good because he didn’t know if he’d last much longer.

“Cum for me please, Princess, milk me with that perfect pussy.” He said his voice all rough and slurring, his pussy had him losing his mind. He was so far gone.

With a few more circles on her clit, and deep thrusts she was squirting all over his cock with an intense grip on his prick. He felt her drip down him around his cock making creating more friction for him to continue his merciless pace.

“Cumming,” She cried out loudly lifting a hand to her mouth to cover it, and Harry had honestly forgotten they were supposed to be quiet. The only thing on his mind was filling her with his cum. She was still feeling the wave of her orgasm wash over her and was loose-lipped and limp as Harry started to feel the knot in his tummy unravel in a familiar feeling of complete pleasure.

Her pulsing pussy was squeezing his cock so hard he couldn’t wait any longer. “Getting close, Baby.”

“Cum for me Daddy, please want your cum so bad,” She pleaded. He released his grip from her throat and let his forehead press into her shoulder as she pulled him closer. Hands scratching his hair and hugging him close to her body. Craving him.

“Fuck, cummin’ Y/n, cummin’.” He said as his cock twitched hard while he bottom out of her, when his loud moans began to spill from his lips she brought their mouths together and he moaned against her swollen lips.

Even after cumming he stayed inside her for a moment, absolutely spent, head resting on her shoulder. She gently rubbed his back with her hands and didn’t mind him staying close. Eventually, he lifted off of her and kissed her forehead before pulling out, she winced at the feeling of him pulling out of her ruined pussy.

“One sec, Love.”

She nodded. And shifted her hips knowing tomorrow morning she’d struggle to sit. Her hips would probably be bruised and her body would ache, but she did not care one bit. She wouldn’t change what had just happened. She had the best orgasms of her entire life, and Harry seemed pretty content too. And it had been with Harry, of all people it had been with the one person she wasn't supposed to get with.

He tied off the condom and threw it in a little bin by his desk. He walked inside the en suite in his room (he’d won the coin toss), and wet a flannel. He came back with a warm cloth to wipe her down. She squirmed at his touch, feeling very sore and sensitive. “Sorry, Love, I know, but can’t have ya’ all sticky before bed can I?”

She just nodded once again. He put the flannel back in the sink and switched the light off coming back out to find Y/n limp and star-fished in the middle of his bed on the mess of his sheets. She looked completely spent, her three orgasms had tired her out so much.

“Y’ want something to wear?” He asked.

She nodded. “Thanks, Styles.”

He smiled at her usual name for him. “What happened to Daddy?”

“Oh, shut up.” She said blushing, he was probably going to keep bringing that up whenever he could, just to tease her.

He grabbed a big baggy black shirt and some plaid boxers for from his drawer.

“Y’so cute when you blush, you know?”

She frowned hands moving to her face. “Stoppp!” She whispered loudly.

He handed her the clothes and helped her slide into them, and she half expected to be sent back to the couch downstairs and told thanks for the shag, but he pulled the duvet down the bed and patted the middle of the bed for her to sleep there. She moved to lay in the spot and Harry placed the duvet over her.

Sliding back on his boxers from before, and running a hand through his messy sweaty hair he looked over at her. “I’ll get us some water, be right back.”

She nodded. “Alright.”

When he came back with two glasses of water he placed them on the bedside table and sighed before rolling in beside her. She turned to face him. “Hi,” she said with a giggle.

“Hi.” He replied with a small laugh too.

“Your bed's very comfy, Styles.”

“Better than m’couch.” He replied sliding a hand onto her waist to rub her side, soothing her into a restful sleep.

“Much better, should’ve shagged you sooner if it meant bed privileges.”

He scoffed playfully, “Only using me for my cock and the comfy bed, aye?”

She laughed back. “Yeah, obviously, why else?”

He pulled her even closer and turned the tone more serious. “Thank you for before,”

She frowned confusedly. “The blowjob?”

He laughed softly. “No, in the kitchen.”

She laughed at herself. “Oh right,” She said lifting her hand to stroke his cheek which he leaned into. “Well, I like your rotten mouth and shocking brutal honesty and all the rest of you. Don’t worry about those guys.”

He leaned closer, a teasing expression lighting up his face. “You like me?”

She just rolled her eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully.

“I like you too.”

This made her blush. “Go to sleep.”

“C’mere then,”

She got even closer and fell asleep to the beat of his heart and gentle caress on her back.

The following morning, she woke up early, which was very unlike her, and in a total panic, that Emma might have noticed she was missing from the couch. Harry groaned grabbing her, “Don’t go.”

“Have to, Em’s gonna notice, she’d kill us both.” She said, voice all raspy and eyes bleary.

He whined not letting go. “Stupid Emma.”

“Shh. I’ll see you later.” She was about to leave back downstairs, but he grabbed her and she watched him waiting for what else wanted from her.

“Kiss?”

She leaned down and pecked his lips which he smiled at shutting his eyes to go back to sleep, and she left sneaking back downstairs. Sluggishly wrapping the blanket around her and shutting her eyes, even though she was much too giddy to sleep.

When Emma woke up with a throbbing head she smiled at Y/n and she started making coffee quietly since her head couldn’t handle anything loud. This made Y/n stir, sitting up and turning the telly on sleepily. A re-run of Friends was on and she wrapped herself up in the blanket and sat back watching.

Emma wordlessly passed her a coffee and sat beside her, stealing some of the blanket. They spent the rest of the episode in silence just huddling together for warmth and sipping away tiredly, until Harry’s footsteps could be heard creaking down the stairs.

“Want some pancakes, children?”

The pair nodded.

Y/n looked over at him smiling to herself, he’d changed into a loose navy crewneck and some pyjama pants. He looked gorgeous, and she was reminded of last night. She'd liked him for years, and now she'd done filthy things with him, would she ever recover?

When the pancakes were ready they all sat together at the table. Harry was a wonderful cook, he made a variety of pancakes.

Blueberry, chocolate chip, plain, some with strawberries and cream. He'd brought out lemon and sugar too because that's what Y/n liked on her pancakes, and lots of fruit for Emma. He'd brought out two big jugs of juice for them and a coffee pot.

“Sleep well, Em?” Asked Harry, with a mouthful of blueberry pancake chewing lazily. How did he even look sexy eating?

She nodded. “Yeah,”

“Me too.” He replied before turning to Y/n, who was mid-sip on some juice, it was a mix of berries and tasted sweet. “Y/n?”

She coughed, choking on her juice, and Harry smirked knowingly. Emma patted her back, “You alright, mate?”

“Yeah, just wrong hole. I slept fine.” Y/n said.

“Hate when that happens.” Harry teased, and she wanted to kick his shin but Emma definitely would’ve noticed.

They all finished their pancakes and after the big breakfast, Emma had an aspirin and told them both she was going back to bed for a nap.

“I might head off then,” Y/n said, she wanted to go home and nap herself. Harry had kept her awake for a good portion of the night after all, and her body was very sore. “I’ll get an Uber.”

“Alright, Babe,” She said hugging her. Y/n kissed her cheek and hugged her back.

“Bye, Babe,” Y/n said with a soft smile.

“Thanks for taking care of me. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Y/n nodded. “Of course, we have to do our monthly movie marathon rain, hail, or shine!”

Emma smiled. “Perfect, get home safe.”

They parted, and Emma went back to her room to sleep. Y/n’s Uber arrived moments later and Harry watched Y/n leave waving with a big devilish grin.

She waved back hopping in the Uber tiredly, as the car pulled away and Harry shut the door, her phone buzzed with a text.

Harry Styles🍒

Can I come over tonight?

Y/n felt a big grin overtake her face.

what on earth for mr. styles?

Harry Styles🍒

Didn’t get to give a you proper goodbye, did I?

Y/n blushed with a small laugh as she typed back.

see u at eight

Harry Styles🍒

See you then Baby X

Y/n bit her lip. What had she gotten herself into?

oh and bring snacks

and that new film u were raving about to niall

Harry Styles🍒

Ok, done. See you tonight. XX

Y/n felt her cheeks heat up similar to last in the kitchen. This was not the Harry she knew, but she didn’t have it in her to complain. She saw flashes of last night of them together and squirmed in her seat.

‘💗💗’ She replied.

When she put her phone down in her lap and stared out at the window she sighed to herself, knowing she was completely done for. Harry had ruined her, she'd never be able to stop thinking about him and last night. However, she had very few complaints about it. Her phone buzzed yet again. She checked it.

Harry Styles🍒 hearted your message.

She smiled even more and shut her eyes, head resting against the leather seat, as she wondered if he was smiling this big too.

2K notes · View notes

aleeyenn · 4 months

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HII GUYSSS life update … school ends in almost two weeks! AH!!! next year is my final year of grade school… so scary but also SO exciting SCHOOL ISNT GOOD FOR MEEE😭i have very poor work abilities … ACTUALLY PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF IM THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE THIS: the more i stress out about something the less i wanna do that… IS THAT JUST A ME THING? i kinda hope so so no one else has to deal with the most horrible demand resistance and stress ever but i also kinda hope not so i don’t feel alone…

but ASIDE FROM THAT … IM REALLY SCARED FOR MY DRAWING ABILITIES! recenrly i haven’t been drawing and it makes me really sad that i haven’t been but i’m pretty sure i haven’t been able to bring myself to doing it BECAUSE of my stress… that’s not the only reason tho IM WORKING AS A CARICATURE ARTIST THIS SUMMERRR😭 i really didn’t wanna but that’s the role i was put into… i feel horrible doing it BUT I NEED THE MONEEYYY AAGH but i’m worried for it because it hurts my hand to do it cuz i have to press so hard and drawing people for six hours every day might drain me from wanting to draw my own stuff… admittedly tho i do think my training for it has sharpened my facial analysis skills and line-tidy-ness but it makes me feel TERRIBLE. thankfully i’m only gonna do this over summer and i have no plans on returning to it next year LOL but i am sure i’ll be able to do something? somehow to allow myself the freedom and time and space to create my own work… all my own work is bfdi stuff HAHAHA minus school art assignments

but yes.. the meaning of talking about this here was to explain why i have been so slow with art… IM SORRY i hate it too… it’s really frustrating actually to be drained so much from something that determines a huge portion of your future But that’s just how it’s gonna be i guess… wish me luck on the last couple weeks of school!!! also my birthday is officially in five days (may 29)!!! YAAAYYY ILL BE 17!!! i’m really looking forward to it HEEHEE okay THANKS FOR READING

TLDR; i haven’t been drawing due to school stress and i am worried my summer job will continue my lack of drawing further (But i am hopeful i will work something out)

#joyjibberjabber #this post feels like a journal entry or something #i haven’t been this open to the public in forever… please be nice

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bronx-bomber87 · 9 months

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Happy Friday everyone! Doing today cause I shall be doing 5x01 On Sunday like I mentioned before to not be posting on Christmas. :) Holy crap we’re on the S4 finale. I remember when I watching it when it premiered thinking is this real life? Thought I was in a fever dream haha Made some long gifs to fit everything in LOL This one is super packed also this ep doesn’t need much more of an intro. So let’s get this party started.

4x22 Day in The Hole

Our fav patch work family gets the cold open. This moment truly is Tim and Lucy in mom/dad mode. Makes me so damn happy. Tim complaining because Tamara is late to meet them. Moaning on and on saying they have to go... but makes no effort to actually move or leave. Because the both of them have Tim wrapped around their finger. That man isn't moving but will complain the whole time about it LOL Lucy going into wifey mode calming him down saying she’ll be here. Relax. ha

Tamara pulls in and almost hits someone. In a police station parking lot... Their reactions I’m dying. Just a couple of concerned parents watching their kid almost cause an accident. Lucy is a proud mom as she pulls up. Clapping her hands. Tim looking like the stern father. He glares at the car wanting to see if this car is safe enough for her. This is a glimpse into them as parents. I’m liking what I see. Also can I say how cute it is Lucy wants Tim to look at her car in first place. Of course he said yes.

Tamara comes out and says isn’t she pretty? Saying it’s her first car. Lucy correcting her saying actually her car was her first. Tamara makes a joke about it being her fifth if they’re talking stolen. Tim has such a dad moment. ‘What?’ She loves to push their buttons it’s hilarious. Telling Tim it's a joke. Just loves messing with her pseudo mom and dad. Lives for it really. This is a fantastic way to start this episode off.

The family energy in this scene giving me all the feels. Lucy telling her to get it checked by the mechanic first. That you never know what cars from seized police auction go through. Tamara says Tim set her up with his guy already. Lucy is beaming about this. Says ‘Awww you do have a heart.’ ha Tim can't be seen as soft so he deflects.

But you are soft for both your girls Tim…This much is obvious ha You're a soft little puppy for them. I mean it's only for them but a marshmallow none the less. His reply is sassy af. Saying it’s purely out of self interest. He didn’t want to deal with Lucy being a drag with her dying in a mangled fireball of metal on the 405. The scoff/look Tamara shoots his way is hilarious. Tim fires back ‘Joke.’

Like Father like daughter and I’m dying with the cuteness in this cold open. Also Tim mirroring her posture from when she said 'Joke' to him. LMAO Unfortunately a drug sniffing dog starts barking at the car. Tim opens the hatch back and searches it. Find kilos of drugs hidden in the compartment. Tamara looks so sad. ‘I’m not getting my car back am I?’ Hahaha Sorry my dear you are definitely not…

Lucy looks up who the car is registered to. It's ‘Jake Butler.’ Lucy pulls up his mug shot and is confused as hell. Ahhhh the beginning of Dim it’s glorious. They pick up his doppelgänger and it's pretty amusing. Didn’t have room for that portion but his ‘Yo, why you looking like me?’ LOL Kills me. They get him into interrogation and the girls are having a field day with it. Enjoying Tim's discomfort so very much. Tim isn’t about this whatsoever of course.

Lucy says maybe they were separated at birth? Tim replies he’s a year older than him and was born in FL. You can see how unsettling he finds this. Tim tries to brush this off. Saying he doesn’t look that much like him. Ok honey… Angela saying he’s not the brightest bulb. Lucy gets excited and says ‘Tim and Dim’ LMAO Enjoying herself far too much with this. Angela and Nyla are joining in on it laughing with her. They aren't helping tamp down her excitement about this at all.

Tim calling Jake 'Dim' is hilarious. Lucy's face when he does is too cute. Also It cracks me up the minute they enter interrogation Dim hits on Lucy. Doesn't waste any time. I’m dying. Also you know Melissa and Eric had a blast filming these scenes. They’re so funny. The cockiness on Dim saying she would remember ha! Man isn’t lacking in the confidence department that's for sure. They tell him they found his car. He gets all excited saying someone stole it LOL

They inform him it was towed cause he parked by a hydrant haha Tim confronts him about the drugs in the car and Dim denies having it. Because of course he does. His fingerprints are all over the bags. Tim says he helps them and they’ll keep him out of prison. Dim gets offended and says he thought they had a bond ha.

Lucy asks where the drugs came from? He tells them Mexico that he was supposed to drive them over the border. But then he wanted to see his girl first before he dropped them off. I.e. Juicy heh When he came back out the car was gone. Tim asks for the name of the guy they were going to. He tells them Ray Hajek. Lucy gets a look in her eye and asks if his crew ever met him? He tells them no but why? We watch Lucy light up and Tim is confused why she is so excited haha

It’s here we see Lucy’s excitement go into hyperdrive. I love this portion because she is like a kid in a candy store with this. The sugary high to go along with it LOL Grey and Angela are no help to Tim whatsoever. They are beyond amused by Lucy’s antics. Like to note how easily Tim gives into Lucy’s demands here btw. You're married you just don’t know it yet.

Once he agrees Lucy gets ultra hyper which has me cackling. I love how she stops him with her hands. Because she’s too excited to walk now. Saying all the things they need to do to get him to look like Dim. Tim pointing out she is enjoying this way too much. Duh. I love her excited speed walk to catch up to him and say he needs tattoos. Lucy was a little too excited for those tats heh She sure loves the idea of a clean cut Tim Bradford covered in tattoos.

We pan to Lucy being on the team watching Tim’s OP. Part of the rescue team if needed. Kinda nice to see her on the watching end instead of him. Being just as much the worried wifey as he is the husband for her when she does UC. He gets taken up to the boss and does a damn good job of it. They’re pissed at him first because he disappeared with their drugs. Tim saying he went to ground because he didn’t want to get caught. Trying to avoid jamming him up.

He then asks why Wisco his heavy shouldn’t throw him over the balcony? We watch Lucy and Angela tense up. Tim has this handled with his reply above though. He is shocked with his intelligent reply. Saying he heard he was dumb. Tim continues on saying he wants people to think he’s dumb. Means they underestimate him.

That answer is enough for him. Tell Tim get his cash on way out. Or he could do another job for him and triple it. Tim asks what kind of job? He won’t divulge that portion just yet. Only that it’s heavy and tomorrow. They’ll need a driver. They heard his old lady is fast. Tim makes a crack 'Sometimes too fast.' He laughs and tells him they’ll be in touch with him.

Angela catches Lucy and tells her she had Dim’s GF picked up. Lucy is like 'Ok…Wait why are you being weird?' Angela says she needs to see for herself. She is enjoying this far too much. It’s Juicy! Haha Having AU Tim and Lucy makes my soul happy ahahah Now Tim is the one enjoying himself. Lucy is in shock when she sees her doppelgänger. Angela adding in ‘I guess we know who’s going undercover with Dim.’

Tim’s taunting is funny I’m rolling. ‘Yeah Juicy.’ ‘No’ ‘Mmhmm It’s Juicy’ LOL I’m dying this is so hilarious. Not so funny when it’s your double eh Lucy? Also you know Angela was enjoying this way too much as well. Lucy’s ‘I don’t like that…’ cracks me up. She is so disturbed by having her own double. She was having fun before and now she doesn't like it. Also probably stirring some stuff up there is an AU version of them out there. Not only that but they're together.

We’ve arrived at THE scene for the episode. Tim is over at Lucy’s for OP prep. Saying the backstory has to be airtight. Lucy agrees with him and asks how they met? Tim's answer of a BBQ is vanilla as it gets. This is why she’s the UC babe LOL Lucy telling him that’s lame. I love her just being so upfront with him. She always is but there is a confidence here I love. This is her wheelhouse and Tim is just along for the ride. This is her show really and she proves that in this scene.

Tim is such a stubborn turd saying ‘You think you can do better?’ Oh Timothy you’re about to have your mind blown and your brain broken…She starts out strong saying ‘Watch me.’ Lucy rubs her hands together. Saying they met because he was on the run from the cops. Tim nodding along but not totally sold yet. Lucy continues on with he ended up in her building frantic.Looking for a place to hide.

That she was the one who opened up the door for him. That she lied to the cops for him. It's here we see Tim starts to be impressed with her backstory. That sweet smirk of his in the second gif. You know he is in awe of her right now. That smirk and head tilt is a dead giveaway. Look at how soft he looks gazing at her. Fooling no one sir.

Lucy’s confidence continues as she finishes up their backstory. It's the smug smile and direct eye contact she gives him as she delivers that line above that gets me. I watch this scene and I’m still in shock we got it. That Lucy is talking about their alter egos hooking up while the cops search for him. Thus his brain malfunctioning. Tim’s reaction is glorious. It will always make me laugh no matter how many times I see it.

Kudos to Eric for crushing it like he always does. Lucy short circuited his brain and it shows. He is having an repeated error message and failing to reboot. You can tell he’s trying to hide the fact she turned him on a little. She achieved this with her confidence through out the story and just blowing his mind right at the end. The man will never recover. He is legit speechless.

Tim was not expecting her to go there at all. She floored him while simultaneously turning him on LOL His professional brain came to a screeching halt when she finished. Also I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be turned on by just her words either. His body was not ready for such things. Good thing he’s sitting cause I’m sure his pants just got a little tighter….

Tim then remembers he has to reply to her plan now haha Trying to gain his wits about him. Telling her ‘Ok….that..that's pretty good actually.’ Pretty good? She just blew your backstory out of the water. Then proceeded to make your brain stop working. You know he’s a mixture of turned on and impressed as hell with her. Won’t say so but his face said it all for us didn’t it? He legit had his jaw drop like a cartoon hahaha

Tim is seeing she truly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to UC holy crap. She is also basking in the fact that she crushed his plan with her own, made him speechless, and then got a compliment out of him. Lucy is feeling pretty proud of herself when she says 'Thank you.' I love seeing this confidence on her. It's a good look. Just like I'll never over Tim's growth same goes for her. To see the confident bad ass woman she is now. How far she's come. I love it seeing it.

Once Tim has some semblance of a brain back he mentions the elephant in the room. That if they’re gonna sell they're together. They’re gonna have to...You know…. Lucy knowing exactly what he’s talking about but giving him a hard time. Trying to get him to say the words. Pretending like she has no idea what he’s talking about. He continues to get flustered and stammers around. Poor Tim. He struggles with his words and stutters. He’s shocked she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Lucy is enjoying herself far too much. Look at her face. Letting him dangle and trip over his words. Knowing talking about this is making him so very uncomfortable LOL So mean to do to your soulmate Lucy ha She finally throws him a lifeline and says we might have to PDA? Tim gets frustrated she strung him along and says never mind. Lucy stops him and says he’s right. If they’re going to kiss it shouldn’t be for the first time.

Then the awkwardness that is them pre-kiss ensues. They’re not sure what to do now…So Lucy suggests they stand up. No one does awkward better than these two. They’re so out of their depth right now. It's hysterical. I love a nervous Lucy Chen she is beyond adorable right here. The way Tim starts to lean in and she bails LOL Saying ‘No’ with a nervous giggle ejecting far away from him I’m rolling.

She totally chickens out at first and I don’t blame her. After last episode I'm sure her emotions are going haywire in this moment. Being shy because she already knows of the feelings there. That this was going to bring them out even more. Tim is about to find out himself what this kiss will reveal. Tim is exasperated and not understanding what’s going on here.

He's got a let's do this and get it over with attitude. The thing is Tim is nervous too. Look at him in that first gif. Takes a deep cleansing breath before trying to give her a kiss. He is just as nervous as she is. One thing to banter and flirt with your partner. It's another to kiss them. They’re both buzzing with nerves and it’s adorable af. Hats off to Eric and Melissa in this scene. I can feel all their anxiety and giddiness in this moment. They do an amazing job in this portion.

Tim get frustrated again and says ‘Oh, you know what? We’re professionals. Let’s just get this over with.’ Lucy’s reaction is the best part LOL Telling him 'Whoa! that’s romantic.' His childish reply of saying he wasn’t trying to be romantic LMAO OMG it’s a good thing you’re about to kiss. Because I wanna yell at them to kiss and get a room already.

Their banter is primo in this scene. Legendary really as is this entire scene. We talk about them being married a lot but never more so than before this kiss. Lucy telling him he’s succeeding and he replies with his pouty face. It’s all so hilarious to watch unfold. Lucy’s nervousness continues to shine through. Trying to reset herself as she psyches herself up to kiss him.

Tim never fails in making me laugh with his expressions and reactions. Telling her in an sarcastic tone to ‘Take her time...’ LOL Lucy trying to give herself a pep talk while Tim stands there exasperated af with her. He is so very done at this point. Just waiting her out at this point. Because he’s used to his wife antics. I love his annoyed deep sigh he let outs when she’s ready to rejoin him. The way he swings his arms in impatience lol

Tim finally leans in and gives her the most pitiful peck on the lips. He’s so proud of himself when he pulls back though. It’s pretty damn adorable if you ask me. He is expecting praise from his girl only to be demolished by her. Lucy was definitely expecting way more than what he just delivered. It's almost like she has to hold back a laugh at his lack luster attempt. Also that he thought he did a good job with it. Saying ‘I'm s...Sorry, is that it?' After all that build up just an innocent peck on the lips? Tim is so offended about her critique till she lays one on him. Effectively silencing him with a kiss. Also like to note how I love how this season started with an almost kiss and ends with an actual one. Lovely bookend.

I’ll never be over her cutting him off with her lips and grabbing him by the face. Pulling him forcefully towards her lips. *phew lord* Has his whole face in her hands while she has her way with him. I love how he stumbles into the kiss at first. If you watch him in the beginning of this gif you see him fall forward into the kiss. Wasn’t expecting that show of force from her. He needs a second to readjust his body into what’s now happening. Both of their frustrations with each other melting away once their lips touch. Takes them a moment to find their rhythm. Then it’s all about melding into one another. Fitting like the perfect puzzle pieces they low key always knew they were.

How Lucy’s right hand drops to his chest as she gets comfortable in this kiss. In his arms. Doing what comes naturally while in them. She keeps her left hand firmly on his face though. Keeping those beautiful lips of his directed at her. We watch Tim start to melt into Lucy as well. See how his body begins to relax against hers. His hand has made it's way up to her shoulder. Had this continued I have no doubt they would've swapped places from where they started. His hands continuing their journey upwards. Tim encasing her face in his hands as he continued to kiss her as if his life depended on it.

We see them start to get lost in their kiss. That argument of their's a moment ago is long forgotten. It’s such a sexy first kiss sweet lord. Tim has quickly adjusted from the beginning of the kiss. He's eased into it now and is ready to go for more. We saw him begin startled then quickly relax into her as the kiss goes on. Seems so natural like they've done this before. Reminds me of Chandler and Monica. When Joey/Rachel ask Chandler what he felt when he and Monica kissed after being friends for so long? Telling them felt like 'Why haven't we been doing this the entire time?' This kiss represents that line IMO.

Look at the way he is melting into her as he looks to deepens that kiss. He’s attached to her upper lip. We can see a little tongue too. Don't think I didn't see you slip that in Timothy heh. He is ready to take this further when their pseudo daughter walks in….I love it being Tim who deepened that kiss. Making that all important first move once again. Lucy wasn’t complaining one bit btw. Cracks me up how Tamara's first solution is to go. Let them have more time alone. I'm sure she's thought of them getting together before.

She doesn't seem terribly shocked by this so much as incredibly amused. How could she not with how they are? Then the awkward hilarity begins. I’ll never be over Lucy’s ‘Oh!’ As they fly apart from each other. Both trying to put a continent between them. It’s so damn funny. Went from hot and heavy to insanely embarrassed. The music stopping abruptly as well. Never fails to make me laugh my ass off. There is so much to love after the kiss as there is with it.

The way they scramble to explain why they were making out is priceless. Stumbling over their words and each other. Lucy trying to explain that this is 'Work' Uh huh. Sure let's call it that. Tim adding on they're going UC. Tamara is bemused to say the least. Telling them they don't have to explain themselves to her. Tim then starts looking desperately for items he didn’t bring LOL Then realizing he has nothing to gather up.

'You know what? No. I didn't bring anything...' LMFAO Flustered Tim Bradford is a joy to watch. Lucy already broke his brain earlier and then destroyed it with that kiss. You know he’s in love because that man doesn’t get flustered easily. He legit doesn’t know what to do with himself. Other than awkwardly retreat from Lucy. He is shook and it’s showing big time.

I love that he’s a complete disaster just from kissing Lucy. This entire scene is iconic and makes me so happy to watch. They awkwardly point at one another. For what reason I couldn't tell you. Other than they don't know what to do with themselves right now. The height of nervous awkwardness has arrived and I’m joyful Haha They’re both so embarrassed and flustered it’s glorious.

Lucy is flaming red after she tells Tim 'G...Good work tonight'. She is mortified she just said that to him after they made out. Tim replies in kind because he is also nervously awkward as he leaves. She can’t even look at him as he makes his hasty exit. Her back is turned to him as he departs and does another dorky finger point. Saying bye to Tamara as he does. Lucy's facial expressions are legit killing me. She then she turns around to face Tamara and it only gets worse.

Lucy has no idea what to say to being caught making out with Tim. Tamara's face in that second gif is hilarious. It's like she's giving Lucy a chance to explain herself further. Wanting to see what she'll come up with. She notices Lucy isn't in the right state of mind for answers. So Tamara saves her further embarrassment and says she’s headed to her room…Bless you. Your pseudo mother needed that LOL

We join Tim in the hallway post all of that mess haha. I once again must commend Eric and his wonderful expressions. He conveys so very much in this moment. It’s the range of emotions he expresses that is so impressive. He just nails it. This is the moment where Tim realizes his feelings for Lucy. Yes she short circuited his brain 100 percent here. But there is far more to this expression than that.

4x21 was Lucy’s epiphany episode. This is Tim’s 'Oh shit I’m in love with Lucy' moment. It’s like he finally has the answer to why he’s always felt the way he’s felt. Why he fought so hard for her not to wash out. Why he said and did things he didn’t totally understand for her. Explaining why he was so protective with her in UC. Why he was ALWAYS happier around her. Just like Lucy it’s hitting him like freight train. His feelings coming sharply into focus.

He goes from broken brain, to realization he’s in love with her, to oh shit I’m in love with my best friend...what am I going to do? The way his eye bug out a little as he comes to this conclusion is everything. That kiss cleared the skies in his brain. He can see clearly now and it scaring him a little. Everything was muddled before and now it’s clear as day. He looks back at her door before he is able to unroot himself from that spot. Tim Bradford is in love with Lucy Chen and it’s just hitting him ❤️

The awkward cuteness continues the next day. Tim is sitting in his truck with his thoughts. Probably having an existential crisis in the process tbh. I bet you he didn't sleep a wink last night either. Probably trapped in his thoughts the entire time. Also he is clearly just waiting for Lucy to appear. Which is pretty damn adorable.

He perks right up when she arrives. Makes me heart so happy actually. Giving me all the feels. He is so adorable waiting on the girl he loves so he can talk to her. They’re both so smitten at this point my heart is gonna implode. She spots him waiting in his truck. Then does her adorkable wave at him when he notices her looking at him. It's so cute I cannot. They’re both so nervous it’s beyond precious.

First off love them matching in colors. I feel this was intentional both being in light blue. Once they reach each other the air is rife with unresolved tension. They cut each other off both wanting to speak. Lucy tells him to go first. You can see Tim desperately wants to clear the air. Be vulnerable about the kiss. We see the hope on Lucy’s face as he struggles to find the words. That he is going to say that kiss unlocked something, that it was more than just a practice kiss etc.

That does seem where he is headed when he started this convo. Then our boy loses his nerve completely. Says they should work more on their backstory …You can see the sheer disappointment on Lucy’s face that he said that instead. Probably wishing she had gone first and not him. It’s ok Tim you’ll gain the courage in 5x08 don’t worry. My little awko tacos. How I love thee.

Phew lord that was daunting to write about and tackle haha The sheer volume of gifs out there for this one are immense. But damn I love their slow burn so very much and adore writing about it. Can’t believe we’re done with s4 what a trip.

~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Nolan had a SL but meh.

The only parts worth mentioning are Nell/Elroy being adorable. And how hilarious it was Pete slept through the entire fight scene for Bailey LOL

Thank you to all the readers been with me on this especially those from the very start. You know who you are :) Your likes, comments and reblogs have been a bright spot in my day shall see you all in S5 woo.

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moreausturtles · 4 months

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"the orange sun in the blue sky"

a/n: hi guys this is a rly rly old weirdly made draft that I made during my rly bad hyperfixation on the rise movie; i thought i might share it with y'all bc im somewhat proud of it? pls dont mind any mistakes i wrote it in a rush i think...? gl to everyone reading hahaha lmk what u think pls dont be mean

summary: leo and mikey are the only ones alive. they finally defeat the last of the kraang, but at a cost.

warnings: unchecked + unedited weird bullet point format; slight mentions of death/blood; one swear word?; very angsty and sad sorry :((

word count: ~1k

(imagine FINALLY defeating Krang 1 as a mission success)

- the baja blast duo fight the krang, lots of hard hits and close calls and they have the LUCKIEST breakthrough.

- krang 1 is on the ground and no longer able to move, all its tentacles are severed. its hanging on by a thread, one that leo is more than happy to cut.

- “this is for my family.” leo whispers, looking down at the krang in disdain.

- he jabs his sword into the krang's body under his foot, killing it in one motion.

- and just like that, it was over.

- leo takes a moment to breathe, like his body wasn’t letting him before.

- he allows himself to think, to process, to take in the fact that they had just won the war.

they won.

- a small smile grows on his face and a quick rush of excitement takes over his body

- “we did it…” he whispers, “mikey, we did it!” he repeats it, a part of him still in denial and acting like saying it again was going to convince him that the worst was over.

- but the worst was far from it.

- he turns around to mikey excitedly, who he thought was just quiet because he was just as shocked as he was

- but boy was he stupidly wrong

- mikey stood there, a hand on the side of his plastron with blood dripping from it then to the ground

“mikey…?”

- he tries to give leo a smile, but fails as his body drops to the ground

- leo’s heart drops along with him, he calls out his name and runs to him quickly and takes him in his arms

- mikey, even before his mystic powers, always had this signature orange glow radiating off of him. but this time, leo was afraid it was going to become very dim very soon.

- leo took his baby brother’s head in his hand—he didn’t care if mikey was fucking older than him (hc no thanks to his excessive use of mystic power), he was still his baby brother

- mikey needed medical attention fast. but they were in the middle of nowhere. no medical team. no backup. no hamato.

- “we did it, leo…?” mike manages to whisper out and smiled up at his older brother.

- “yeah buddy, we did…” the sniffling soon came as leo tried to fight back tears. he had known this would happen; could you really blame a guy whose family got picked off one by one during the apocalypse to think that way?

“i’m sorry, leo...”

- god, mikey’s voice shattered leo’s heart into pieces. so weak and trying.

- “hey,” leo uttered, trying to change the topic, “remember the time when you thought the gumbus was real?”

- this earned a very weak, wheezed chuckle from the mystic turtle, who had his eyes closed to visualize the fond memory

- “you did too…” leo laughed bitterly at that, feeling his little brother’s breathing pattern slow.

- “i did, yeah. it’s one of my favorite memories.” said leo.

- “mine too…” mikey opened his eyes, the memory ending, and looked up to see leo’s face drenched in tears. a pang hit mikey’s chest as he realized he was going to leave his brother soon.

- “hey, leo?”

- “yeah, miguel?” a playful nickname he hadn’t heard in years.

“you were always my favorite brother.”

leo laughed, genuinely laughed even though it felt like he was being stabbed in the chest tenfold.

- “don’t tell donnie or raph.”

- “i think they know.”

- both of them pause for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say or do. there wasn’t really anything else to do but wait. Each second leo spent trying to figure out what words he wanted to tell mikey. “I’m sorry.” “Say hi to them for me.” “Please don’t leave me alone.”

- mikey was his partner in crime and now he was just… fading. His little brother was dying.

- leo knew their time was running short from the way he was listening to mikey’s labored breaths. slow and trying. mikey thought about using his mystic power for one last push, to stay with leo, to make do with what was left of the world.

- they could rebuild it. it was easy for him to make things out of thin air. leo knows how to build and farm and haul and everything you could think of.

- but the mystic warrior was tired. they had been fighting for decades. he couldn’t lift a single finger even if he tried, and that was fine with him. he honestlyhadn’t felt relaxed like that in years.

- maybe they were better off not saying a word, mikey needed to save any air he could take in. leo kept his mouth shut just so he could spent just a little bit more time together in this bittersweet silence.

- suddenly he sees mikey’s lips open a little bit, and the next words that come out would forever leave leo wounded.

“I love you, big brother.”

- it took everything in leo to not break out in full sobs right then and there. he wanted to scream, beg, plead to the God that did this to mikey— if one even existed.

- leo swallowed the lump in his throat, forming the best—and last— smile he could muster for mikey, mimicking him the way he used to do it for him and his older brothers so they wouldn’t have to worry.

“I love you too, little bro.”

- leo’s little ray of hope slowly went limp in his arms. and he was all alone.

- leo kept mikey in his arms, still and unmoving. maybe it was his punishment for putting mikey in this whole mess. for destroying the world and his entire family. maybe a God did exist, it was just never in his favor no matter how hard he fought to appease it.

leonardo, the last one standing of the hamatos, defeated the Krang and lived, while mikey took his place in the sky as leo’s ray of sunshine.

#rottmnt leo #leo #leonardo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #michelangelo #donatello #raphael #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #donnie #mikey #raph #tmnt #rottmnt #leo and mikey #baja blast duo

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 1 year

Note

hello dear! i really like your works and i really love reading your writing but i'm shy to make requests but after reading comfort works i finally got the courage to ask for something....

so can i order the S4 from the prompt list? with fuegoleon, nozel and yami

SSHSHHSJJ I can't hahaha ho God I'm embarrassed sorry it's just my first time asking and English is not my native language...well I guess that's how it is _ ho Aaaaaa say hi to your fans here in Brazil :)

✨️💙✨️💛✨️💚✨️

Hello love~! ^^

I'm super, super happy to hear that you like my works!! And I'm delighted that you found the courage to make a request! ^^ No need to apologize though, English isn't my native language either, so I get it. It can definitely be nerve-wrecking, but you'll learn by using the language. Also: HIYA~!! ^^

Oh some hurt-comfort my beloved~

I have written this for Yami in the past and you can find it from here, so I shall include Fue and Nozel under the cut ^^

Prompt: Them thinking their s/o died in battle, but in fact didn't Genre: Hurt-comfort Pairings: Fuegoleon x gn!reder, Nozel x gn!reader Fanfic type: Oneshots Warnings: angst in the beginning, fear of s/o having died, mentions of injuries, the men being worried, sad and relieved, but there's comfort in the end Total length: ~1.7k

Fuegoleon

Fuegoleon Vermillion. He was the first born son of the House Vermillion; coming from a line of capable combat mages, and as such, he was praised for it. He was celebrated for it. And it was the stead that he knew for himself. A life where he had accepted that he might lose his life in battle, because that was a fact. Many combat mages fell in the line of duty. But he had simply supposed that it was the life he lived with the role he held.

A wrong decision could mean the difference between life and death. It was self-evident to him. And it was something of which he reminded his knights regularly. Because it was a rule of the life they lived.

And yet… he had never applied that rule to you. Because surely you wouldn’t. You were smart enough, capable enough… lucky enough to avoid it. Since sometimes you needed a little bit of luck to come unscathed from a battle.

Yes… in his subconscious mind he had simply accepted that no harm would befall on you, not if he did his job as a captain well.

Nothing bad would happen to you.

Surely.

So… on that one, faithful day, when one of his knights ran to him, bringing word from a mission, he thought it to be a poor joke at first. The first few seconds that ticked in the air.

‘Lifeless’, had been the word used.

Life… less…

Less of… life… But there was still the word ‘life’ in it… So… So…

Incomprehensible. The word seemed… incomprehensible to him. Though he knew the definition of it, but it just… didn’t… make sense.

He was sure his mana flared up. It must have.

Because the windows shattered.

His office was… yes, there was glass everywhere.

But he was already out of the door.

The headquarters.

He didn’t think he had ever flown with such speed before, but still he thought Salamander to be too slow.

Why did it need to be so slow? He would have thought the spirit to be… faster than that? But he supposed that he had been delusional.

He supposed.

The medics yelled something as he raced through the infirmary. But he couldn’t hear them.

Just more nonsense.

Nonsense. All of it. Just gibberish.

---

You opened your eyes to see … a ceiling.

There was a dull pain to your side, one that seemed to course through all your body from that one point onwards. And it was as if all strength had seeped out of you, into the mattress, or maybe the thin air around you.

It was difficult to tell. Not that it mattered.

Your eyes turned down from the white ceiling, and started circling around the room. But before you managed to do more than take a deep breath, there was a sound, a voice calling out to you.

“My love?”

You knew that voice. You knew that gentle, tender touch that took a hold of your hand.

And as your eyes met with his, gazing into the sea of purple that wasn’t quite royal purple and not quite lavender, you saw nothing but sorrow. An ocean of worry.

There was a hint of red lining the white of his eyes… and it wasn’t the red markings. You were quite convinced of it.

“Hey…” you managed with a dry whisper. It felt as if your throat was lined with sandpaper.

But. You were there.

“I… worried for you,” he admitted, but there was depth in those syllables that spoke of so much more than mere worry.

They spoke of terror, something you didn’t think his tone of voice could manage. His voice had never seemed the type to know such an emotion, and yet… there it was.

“I’m still here,” you told him with that same, quiet, raspy voice, and gave him a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. You didn’t know what else to do, not in that moment.

There would be a time to go through the events of that mission, but it’d come later. For now, it was just about being there. That you were still there.

But the way he held onto your hand, with pale knuckles, told you of how much he dreaded to let go. A sense of fear, that if he let go, you wouldn’t come back to him. It was as if, he feared that the secure hold he had of you, was the one lifeline still keeping you there, with him.

In a way, it seemed silly, but in a lot of other way, it was so, so touching and heartfelt.

And who could blame him?

“I love you,” you told him.

And the way he drew in air to his lungs, as if to gather himself, so that his relief wouldn’t roll down his cheeks, already told you what words he’d utter as a reply, before they left his lips.

“I love you too.”

Nozel

Nozel Silva. He was a man who had lost a lot during his life, despite being royalty. Despite being fortunate and privileged in many, other, ways. But it was meaningless compared to what he lacked. What he had lost. Which was why he didn’t want to lose anyone dear to him ever again.

It was the one fear he held in his heart. That he would fail to keep his loved ones safe. That they would die, and he’d be, again, helpless in the face of death to do anything. Despite having grown older and stronger.

Despite having followed in the footsteps of his mother, and becoming a captain of the Silver Eagles.

It was a very real fear to him; that he might lose again. But he didn’t think it to be right, not since learning, not since knowing better, that he had the right to deny you from living the life you wanted and working as a knight. In a way it was a way of keeping you close as well. Because he could be there, nearby, most of the time. Though as time passed, he convinced himself that he was being foolish. That he was overthinking it. That he was being unreasonably worried.

But then, as he was overseeing a training session, he could see from the corner of his eye one of his subordinates that he had sent with you onto a mission.

And he was shaking. Shivering.

Something had gone wrong. But nothing had quite prepared him for what the knight managed to mumble, spit out after a long, stern scowl.

It hadn’t simply been a mission gone wrong.

Not ‘just’ wrong…

Though he couldn’t think of a word in that moment that would have been worse than wrong; more chilling than horrid. A lot of words… he had a lot of worse, none of which quite sufficed.

“…What?” Had been the only question, only word leaving him. And the tone, was deeper than any winter frost they had known in Clover. Harsher than the weather of the mountains between Clover and Spade. The chill of it… he could feel it laying down a layer of frost over even his own very bones.

He took a hold of the knight by the collar, but he barely realized it.

There was something about an infirmary, and how ‘they’ were trying everything.

He didn’t need anything else.

He only needed the statement of ‘they are trying’.

And though Nozel knew that his eagle was fast, it could never be fast enough.

Even if he didn’t know what to do when he got there. He simply knew that he needed to be there.

He had to. He had to. Hehadto. Hadtohadtohadto HAD TO-, be there.

Be there…

Only to be told not to look.

‘Don’t look’.

But he needed to see, so that he might know, for himself, what would happen.

---

The room… was quiet. Or then it just seemed quiet, and your ears didn’t register whatever sounds existed around you.

Perhaps it was the latter, since there was also a spinning sensation in your head. Light headed. And you ached all over. But you could feel all your limbs… that was good. Positive.

So, you moved your hand to your forehead, even if it hurt. Even if it made you wince in pain.

“Darling?”

There was a sense of urgency in the tone. But it was wrapped in a veil of taffeta, of concern and tender emotions that he held for you, which shone through the layers and layers of worry. It couldn’t be anything else but worry, that tone.

You turned your head to see Nozel sitting in the corner of the room.

There were bags under his eyes, and his hair … it was a mess. Strands of silver poked out from here and there. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all, and how he probably hadn’t eaten a single bite ever since you wound up where you were. Which made your heart clench in a different kind of a way.

“Mhm?” You hummed as he hurried from the chair he was in, to you.

“How are you?”

Again that tone; tone which was soft, urgent and filled with the sorrow’s of his heart.

“I feel like I was… ran over by… something,” you admitted. Because that was how you really felt.

He crouched by the bed, with his lips parted, as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t quite know how. As if he didn’t really know what to say. And perhaps he didn’t. He did and he didn’t. It was all a big jumble of words, of thoughts in his head.

“I… worried,” he said with a whisper.

And you… couldn’t help but look at him, because… he doesn’t-, say things like that. He shows that he cares, but he doesn’t… say it.

He never says it.

Only that he did.

He said it.

He said that he worried for you. You could see it from him yes, but to hear it, it just-, made your heart skip a beat and it… It just made you more certain about how you loved him and how he loved you.

He might have been a man who wasn’t good with words, but sometimes he said the most perfect things. And when he said it, he meant it.

#black clover fanfiction #fuegoleon x reader #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #nozel silva x reader #nozel x reader #black clover x reader #black clover oneshots

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darkfictionjude · 4 months

Note

After all the Nia-related exasperation lately I wanted to write you this:

THANK YOU for creating characters that act and think like real human beings. THANK YOU for creating a strong and complex female love interest. THANK YOU for giving her proper critical thinking skills and a not-pea-sized-brain. I will tell you this - if I were in Nia’s shoes, I would AVOID MC AT ALL COSTS.

For real. She saw her bf having violent outbursts. She knew they were bullied by their older sister. And then SUDDENLY MC’s sister ends up brutally murdered and SUDDENLY MC is being sent to a mental institution. In real life there were multiple occasions when sane suspects tried to claim they were mentally ill so as to avoid imprisonment and to be sent to some mental hospital instead. I know, it doesn’t really apply to our MCs ‘cause it is well known they are ill, but damn it, everything just kind of coincides too well in the eyes of everyone (that’s why some students at school also think MC killed Orla).

I get it some of readers here are sad she didn’t reach out to MC when they were in a hospital. But it was said (many times btw) that she had her reasons for that. I get it some of readers here are sad she thinks MC killed Orla. But it was said (quite a bunch of times already btw) that she has her reasons. We just have to wait and find them out without jumping to conclusions. We don’t know everything. What really matters is that Nia still sticks out to MC and clearly cares for them (she gets angry at Imre for trying to involve MC in the investigation, claims that MC is strong if you play around with choices etc). Or at least it matters to me.

Sorry if it comes off as too aggressive.

Hahaha this is was something read, love the passion nonnie.

Yeah Nia is a person who has a very clear idea of the world and who she is. She doesn’t change it for anyone. Her biggest thing is that she likes facts, wanting to be a doctor she feels emotions if not checked override things and make you see things distorted. She’s not a robot she just doesn’t allow herself to be carried away.

Like I’ve said, just because a character doesn’t fawn over mc doesn’t mean they are against them or hate them. They’re just human and the characters don’t know MC is mc, y’know? I like that Nia doesn’t treat mc with kid gloves, she respects them enough to treat them as an equal. She doesn’t act like you’d expect because I’m trying to make her feel real and real people don’t do what we want even when they love us

I would love more polemic female love interests to be honest. We have some many complex male interests, we need all kinds of women and I’ve always loved women like Nia in fiction. Dominated by logic but allowing moments of emotion

#I’ve always referred to her as cold for a reason #Nia #Nia-MC #we wretched creatures

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borathae · 1 year

Text

↳ Index [Chapter 27 - Guilt]

Warnings: nightmares, Jimin is finally bettering himself, she keeps overthinking, Yoongi is going through it this chapter hahaha not in a bad way, this is both very sweet but also has sad moments

Wordcount: 7.1k

a/n: we stan a man wanting to do better

The kitchen is filled with the smell of food. The air dances in the music of Hoseok’s playlist. The latter is currently showing off a dance move to Yoongi, who shows him his support by nodding his head as his arms are crossed in front of his chest.

“Are you getting the peppers soon?” Seokjin calls over his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah soon. God, I was showing off my moves”, Hoseok whines, stopping his dance, “sorry hyung, it’ll have to wait.”

“Yeah, yeah”, Yoongi dismisses him but overall he looks very content with himself.

“What did you think of it?”

“It looked good”, Yoongi praises him which makes Hoseok show off a huge grin.

“You guys seem to have fun”, you call their attention.

“Oh guys, finally you’re done. The entire house heard you”, Hoseok says.

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok rolls his hips in a sexual way, making weird faces as he does.

“Eh-hey”, he says, wiggling his brows.

“You’re so gross, will you finally get the peppers?” Seokjin hisses.

Hoseok stumbles away with a cackle, soon disappearing in the pantry.

“Did you actually…”

“No. He’s gross and listened in”, Seokjin answers you, studying you from head to toe, “how are you doing, Taehyung?”

“Good thank you for asking. And you?” he says.

“Good, yeah”, Seokjin purses his lips in preparation for what he will say, “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Oh uhm”, Taehyung lowers his gaze shyly, “thank you, that means a lot to me.”

“Mhm yeah”, Seokjin turns back to the stove, stirring the onion with bright red ears.

“I’m happy too”, Emma says, giving Taehyung a sweet smile, “we have to do another dance party soon. I’ll get my Banjo then”, she adds.

“Certainly!” Taehyung nods his head vigorously, “oh, I haven’t played folk in so long, we ought to do it soon.”

“Definitely”, she says, flashing him one last smile before returning to her task of dicing the pumpkin.

Taehyung looks at you with sparkling eyes. Did you see that? He says with that look, we are finally getting along. For the first time in far too many months his eyes carried honest life in them again and you are so happy that they do, hoping that it will never die out again.

You lean in to peck his cheek, telling him that you were happy with it.

Taehyung inches closer to Seokjin and Emma afterwards, joining their middle.

“Can I help somehow? The food smells amazing already. What are we cooking?” he asks.

“Roasted pumpkin and pepper soup, it’s best for autumn days like today”, Emma tells him.

“Oh, that sounds lovely. You know, we were thinking about having a winter holiday party, perhaps we can cook it then too.”

“A winter holiday party? That sounds so much fun.”

“Definitely. I have already planned everything…”

Their conversation soon fades out into the background.

“Good morning”, you greet Yoongi, “did you sleep well?”

“I didn’t sleep.”

“Why? Are you okay? Did the conversation take so long? Are you okay? How did it go?”

“It went alright. He'll think about himself."

“And he is still alive, right?”

Yoongi scowls at you, “I told you that I wouldn’t kill him, didn’t I? Stop distrusting me.”

“Gosh, no I didn’t mean it like that. Thank you for talking to him.”

“Mhm”, Yoongi nods his head.

“So why did you stay awake all night?”

“I followed a supposed trail to Namjoon.”

“And? How did that go?”

“It lead to nothing”, he says and huffs out air.

“Gosh, that sucks. I’m sure we’ll find him soon”, you assure him.

“I hope”, he murmurs then goes to study your face, “you look…” his eyes flit to your middle then back to your face, “…well rested.”

“I am”, you pull him close to you, kissing his lips that way.

“Mhm”, Yoongi hums in acknowledgement, stepping back as inconspicuously as possible before that could happen. He ignores the confused look you send his way because of it.

Hoseok returns with the peppers.

“So guys, about this morning. I assume we are all goody good again?”

“Jesus christ Hoseok, you’re such a pervert. Can you stop talking about it?” Yoongi hisses.

“I’m just asking. They were really going at it.”

Yoongi frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Yeah and apparently forgetting their training”, he murmurs, sending Jungkook a look.

“In my defence”, Jungkook begins, “I was only doing what you told me I could do. And Taehyung took watch.”

“I did”, Taehyung turns, looking proud.

“I know”, Yoongi answers him dryly, studying him from head to toe.

“And? What do you think of it? Did I do well?” he asks, nudging Yoongi’s chest.

“I guess.”

Taehyung grins proudly, “see? I told you, I know a thing or two about control as well. Now you don’t have to be his only teacher anymore, I can help too.”

Yoongi turns his head to the side, tightening the grip he has on his own arms, “mhm.”

“So you listened in too”, Hoseok says, wiggling his brows, “you pervert.”

“Hey, don’t call me a pervert. You did it first”, Yoongi complains.

“Did I?” Hoseok wiggles your brows.

“Whatever, I only did it to make sure Jungkook stayed in control.”

“Mhm sure and it wasn’t because you’re into it.”

Yoongi frowns again, giving Hoseok a little growl and a flash of his fangs.

Hoseok snickers.

“How about we all agree on not listening in on people having sex from now on, yeah?” you say, feeling like getting swallowed by the ground would be way more comfortable.

“I only did it to make sure you’re safe”, Yoongi murmurs, pouting which earns him one of your looks.

“In my defence, I listen in on Seokjin and Emma too”, Hoseok says.

“Yah!” Seokjin exclaims, head snapping up quickly, “what did you just say? Come here you little bastard”, he says, soon chasing Hoseok with a spatula in one hand and a dish towel in the other.

“Hoseok, Seokjin can you two behave?” Emma tells them with fondness in her eyes, “we need those peppers.”

“I’ll cut them”, Yoongi says, snatching them and a cutting board.

“Thank you hun, you are a darling”, Emma says, returning to the soup.

“I want to do something too”, Jungkook says.

“I wanted to bake bread”, Yoongi says, “the recipe’s in my book.”

“On it, bread it is. ___, Tae do you want to help me?”

“Of course!” Taehyung exclaims, hurrying to Jungkook’s side. He back hugs him, swaying their bodies from side to side with his chin resting on his shoulder.

“Just tell me what to do”, you say, staying between Jungkook and Yoongi.

You end up reading the ingredients while Taehyung is the one getting them and Jungkook is stuck with the duty of kneading. Every now and then he giggles when Taehyung decides to nibble on his neck or shoulder, telling the older vampire to stop it whilst never really fighting him off.

Yoongi in the meantime finishes the peppers and brings them to Emma, returning to your side afterwards.

“The dough is – Tae stop biting me – the dough is finished what should I do next?” Jungkook says with Taehyung nuzzled into his neck.

“Maybe start with a little less biting and more kneading?” you tease.

Taehyung lifts his head, grinning boyishly.

“I feel like you want to tell me something, darling”, he says.

“Of course not, you little sweetie just aren’t helpful”, you say, nudging his arm.

“But Kookie smells so good”, Taehyung pouts, resting his cheek on Jungkook’s shoulder, “I want to eat him.”

Jungkook gulps, staring at you and Yoongi with big eyes. His cheeks are rosy.

“Didn’t you do that enough this morning?” Yoongi throws in, eyes sparkling in unsure anticipation if his joke was funny.

Taehyung widens his eyes then snorts very ungracefully.

“Oh dear hyung, did you just joke?” he says.

“Why?” Yoongi crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Nothing, you are simply hilarious”, Taehyung stumbles away from Jungkook to instead hug Yoongi, getting stopped by Yoongi raising his hand in a stopping motion before he can.

“Okay, don’t overstep your privilege now.”

Taehyung laughs, “come on, just one hug.”

“No, you’re making it weird. Fuck off.”

“Okay then”, Taehyung says and falls around Yoongi’s neck instead.

Yoongi freezes up, staring at nothing with widened eyes and his arms stretched from his body.

“What did I just tell you?”

“But I want to”, Taehyung murmurs into Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Why?”

“Because I want to. You deserve a hug. For helping me last night and for talking to him and for being a great friend. I felt so alone lately, but now I don’t anymore. Thank you, hyung.”

“Uhm. Yeah.”

Yoongi pats Taehyung on the back twice, carrying an awkward look on his face.

“Are you done now?” he asks.

Taehyung shakes his head, pulling Yoongi closer.

“What are you doing? Can you”, he huffs out air, “can you not?”

“But hyung, I love you.”

“Get off of me”, Yoongi says, wiggling in Taehyung’s hold.

Taehyung snickers, “no.”

“Just piss off”, Yoongi hisses, pushing at Taehyung, “seriously Tae, I’ll break your arms if you don’t let go.”

Taehyung gives Yoongi a tight squeeze.

“No. Leave me alone. I don’t want this”, Yoongi complains, fighting the younger vampire vehemently.

Not that he ever truly uses his strength. He is just weird about all of this. Weird and nervous like nothing else.

Taehyung giggles and finally steps back, flashing Yoongi a boyish grin.

“You’re so cold-hearted hyung. Do you not love me back?” he says, earning himself a dramatic eye roll, “do you not love me, hyung?”

“You’re so weird sometimes”, Yoongi fixes his shirt, looking to the side in shyness.

Taehyung cackles. Now everything is just how it is supposed to be. Safe for you.

Taehyung forces his arms under your own arms, hugging your middle that way.

“Oh you”, you squeak before giggling loudly, “gosh, you cutie what are you doing?”

“I’m hugging you”, Taehyung smiles brightly, “have I told you today that you are beautiful?”

“Gosh Tae”, you rest against his chest, “you’re flustering me so much.”

“So are you guys all a thing now?” Hoseok asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean, you four”, he gestures between you, “are you all dating? Like a foursome thing?”

“No”, Yoongi says instantly, “we’re not.”

“But you all seem really close.”

“That is because Yoongi doesn’t know what he is talking about”, Taehyung says, “of course we are dating”, he says and tries to take Yoongi into a group hug with you and Jungkook.

“Can you let off?” Yoongi hisses, fleeing instantly, “just because we agreed on getting along, doesn’t mean I wanna date you.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Yes, I’m not dating you. Get that out of your head.”

Taehyung grins, “I’ll get you there eventually. I got Kookie too, didn’t I?” he says and nuzzles his nose into Jungkook’s neck.

The latter giggles loudly, “god Tae, you’re tickling me.”

“Tch”, and with that Yoongi turns away, ready to leave.

“Hey hyung, don’t leave”, Hoseok says, holding his wrist, “sorry for asking.”

“It’s fine, you couldn’t have known with all the clingy shit going on”, he assures him.

“God hyung, why are you so grumpy today?” Taehyung asks with a pout.

“I’m not grumpy”, he throws back, “can you give me space?”

“Of course, that’s a given.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna leave now. I need to meet someone.”

“Who are you meeting?” Seokjin asks.

“Just someone important. See you later.”

He leaves the kitchen in big steps.

“Well, that didn’t go as planned”, Hoseok mumbles, “shouldn’t I have asked?”

“I don’t know”, Jungkook says, looking at you just like all the others do.

“What?” you ask them,

“Can you talk to him?” Taehyung asks you, “he listens to you.”

“Y-yeah sure, I’ll talk to him”, you say, hurrying after Yoongi with an irregular pulse.

Deep down you hope that he has already left and you don’t have to talk to him. What if he brings up what happened with Suzy? Maybe that is why he is so pissed off today. Because he is angry that you had fun this morning instead of being sick in guilt. What if he wants to talk about it now? After all, he is the only person who didn’t talk to you about it yet. You have no idea what you should say if he decides to make this day the day.

Yoongi however is still present, putting on his coat. He looks at you through the mirror.

“Do you need something?” he asks.

“No uhm, Tae sent me”, you tell him.

“Ah”, Yoongi looks away, fingers working quickly to close the buttons, “what does he want?”

“He just wanted to know if you are angry at him.”

“A little yeah.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

Yoongi exhales loudly, looking at you again. He shakes his head, walking away from the mirror to put on his boots. He sits down for it.

“Okay uhm. What should I tell him you told me?”

Yoongi lifts his head, “are we in middle school that you have to play messenger? Why can’t he talk to me personally?” he hisses.

“Sorry, you’re right. I’ll tell him that”, you say, turning on your heels.

“No, wait”, Yoongi stops you.

You look over your shoulder.

“Come here”, he says in a soft voice, patting his thigh.

You waddle to him and sit down on it, avoiding eye contact.

“Can you look at me?” he asks, placing his fingers under your chin to turn your head gently.

You do so with heated cheeks.

“I’m not angry at you. You know that, don’t you?” he says softly, caressing your chin.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Good”, he lets go of your chin, placing his hand on your thigh instead. It feels warm and heavy on your lap, “is there anything else you want to talk about?”

“No!” you exclaim instantly, jumping up from his lap, “there is nothing to talk about. I just came here for Taehyung, you know?”

Yoongi studies your sudden panicked face with his brows knitted in confusion.

“Okay”, he says, looking away to finish closing his boots.

“Okay then. Then that is talked about too, I’ll tell Tae that you want him to talk to you personally and then we have nothing else to talk about.”

“Yes, okay?” Yoongi stands up, studying your face with even more confusion.

“Okay bye, we’ll see each other later.”

“Princess”, he takes your hand gently, preventing you from turning away.

“W-what?”

“Can I not get a kiss at least?” he asks, mind going haywire in sudden insecurity. Why are you literally drowning in the scent of fear? What did he do? He wonders those questions as you stare at him.

You nod your head and lean in for a kiss. Yoongi makes sure that you deepen it with his right hand holding your face and his left hand pressing you close by the small of your back.

“I’ll miss you”, he murmurs between kisses, “I’ll miss you like crazy, princess”, he whispers, sealing his words by kissing you oh so deeply. He breaks the kiss, letting your lower lip slip from between his teeth. It leaves your lips so tender, “you’ll miss me too, won’t you?” he asks as quietly as possible.

“Of course I’ll miss you”, you answer him, stubbing his nose with your own, “please be careful, my love.”

“I’m always careful”, he says and his voice carries a certain lightness to it all of a sudden, “be careful too, my princess. Don’t leave the house without the others, yeah?”

“Yes, okay.”

You open your eyes at the same time as Yoongi. He is blurry from being so close to you, but you can’t quite pull back yet.

“That’s my best girl”, he whispers, caressing your cheekbone before taking a step back.

He puts his gloves on afterwards, eyes locked on your face, “if you need anything just call me.”

“Okay.”

“You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?”

You lower your eyes, nodding your head.

“Good”, he says, slinging his arm around your waist just to pull you into him and kiss your cheek, “so is there something you want to tell me?”

“No uhm, no please just be careful my love.”

“Mhm”, he nudges your cheek with his nose, “I will.”

“Good”, you say, daring to look into his eyes and meeting fondness in them, “see you later.”

“See you later, my princess.”

Yoongi leaves after one careful look at your face. You won’t see him for the rest of the day and you’ll go to sleep alone after taking a way too long shower where your mind wandered to the most traumatic day of your life.

Lights flicker. The air smells acidic. The walls are red, the carpet on the ground is soaked in blood. The realisation of where you are is instant. You turn and run.

“No please no”, you beg, “wake up ___ wake up, you’re dreaming!” You can hear yourself but you don’t listen. Someone behind you is calling your name. A woman. She is calling you a murderer. Over and over again. You look over your shoulder. She has gotten closer than last night. Her face is still hidden. “Wake up!” you scream, reaching for the door which lies closed before you. “Fucking wake up ___!” you scream, ripping the door open.

Your eyes open. The room is dark. The air smells nothing like the stinging stench of blood. Exhaling shakily, you sit up and turn the lights on. The room appears in front of you, pulling you back to reality just enough to calm down your racing heart. You aren’t sleeping anymore. You are safe again. You are safe.

“I fucking hate this”, you press out, rubbing your own forehead to still the memory of the lasting dream, “I need air.”

You leave the lights on and leave in nothing but your pyjamas and slippers.

You regret your clothing choice once outside. The night is punishing, making you shiver within seconds and yet you don’t mind. Feeling cold means that you can at least feel something other than that awful, awful guilt in your stomach. It sits so heavy in there, reminding you each night why you shouldn’t do things like laugh or joke with the others.

The bench on which you sit down is wet under you, soaking your bottoms until even your skin is soaked. You take this sensation over the burning of blood soaking through your shoes. Each and every single night. Every single fucking night you are walking through too much blood. It’s so exhausting.

“Fuck”, you press out, lowering your head. A shiver runs through your body so aggressively that you physically have to exhale to make it easier to bear.

You are so tired.

A sound beside you makes you lift your head again.

Jimin is sitting next to you. He acknowledges you with a nod of his head, but turns it to look at the view instead.

You turn away too, locking your eyes on the one star you can see on the cloudy sky. It is almost flickering, as if it was fighting for its right on the sky. As if someone was trying to snuff it out while it screamed in order to be acknowledged as important. Flickering, flickering, flickering. Like those lights in your dreams. Endless flickering. You shake off the memory, squeezing the edge of the bench. Jimin doesn’t react.

“Are you just going to sit here?” you ask into the silence.

“Should I do a handstand instead?” he throws back.

You let out a tired chuckle, kicking a little pebble into the nothingness of the night.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“I know, I don’t want to talk either.”

“Okay, good.”

“Good.”

He settles back. You stare at your own feet. Your stomach is so tight in guilt. You hate feeling like this. You would do anything to turn it off. You sneak a glance at Jimin. Turning it all off…

“How does it feel?” you ask him.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want to talk?”

“Yeah well…” you lower your head.

Jimin sneaks a glance at you then looks away. He thinks that you smell of fear, guilt and tiredness tonight. He wonders why you do, but doesn’t want to ask.

“How does what feel?” he probes.

“Turning off your emotions.”

Jimin is silent, which makes you sneak a glance at him to see if he hadn’t heard you. But he did, staring at you with slight shock in his eyes.

“I keep wondering”, you say.

He breathes out and looks back at the sky.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because I want to know.”

“I see.”

“So? How does it feel?”

“Like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long”, he answers you.

“Does it work instantly?”

“Yes, it’s instant. One moment you are hurting so much that you want to scream and kick and claw at something and then you flip it and it’s gone. All of it. All of the pain, the loss, the guilt and heartbreak. It’s as if it never even existed”, he sighs, “and that’s when you finally feel free.”

“And it really helps? You truly feel nothing?”

“Oh no, you still feel. But it’s more that all those things which really hurt, stop affecting you and all those things you enjoy feel like one endless epic acid trip. You’re there, but you’re not really there. There are consequences but they don’t affect you because they can’t hurt you. You know?”

“That must be nice.”

Jimin turns to study your features.

“It’s not”, he says coldly, “because you become an asshole. A cold, heartless asshole and once you wake up? Once you flick that switch? All those moments where you hurt strangers or the people important to you come back to you and then. Ohoho then”, he touches his chest, “then you really want to die. Because nothing hurts more than waking up from a good dream only to realise that you were the nightmare of so many others.”

“But at least you won’t feel like shit.”

“True, except when you do. Tenfolds.”

“I guess.”

“But why are you even asking? You’re human, it’s not like you can choose.”

You stay silent long enough that Jimin finds out that your fingers have been fumbling with the necklace around your neck all this time. The one carrying the vial of Taehyung’s blood.

“No”, he says, “don’t even think about it.”

“Why not? At least I could have an option.”

“An option? Now stop it”, he pulls your hand away, “you’re seriously considering throwing your life away because of what? A bad day? A random sad mood?”

“I killed someone.”

“So? We all did.”

“It hurts”, you barely get out and then your eyes fill with tears.

“I know. Your first kill always hurts the most.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it. When I, I close my eyes I, I see her face right before I killed her. It’s still so clear to me as, as if I was doing it over and over again.”

“It’s terrible isn’t it? You feel nothing in the moment, but feel like fucking shit afterwards.”

“Yes”, you croak, doing the unthinkable of letting out a sob.

Jimin watches you bury your face in your hands and then begin shaking in your sobs.

He pulls a grimace of helpless distaste.

“Don’t cry”, he says.

“I feel so awful. I, I can’t do this. Not even getting killed by you and Namjoon traumatised me as much. I, I had nightmares, but felt fine. But this is consuming me. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s all I’m thinking about. It’s not leaving me.”

“And it probably won’t for a long time, but it’s only natural to think about it. You killed someone and that shit is awful.”

You sob miserably.

“Hell, most people live their life without ever knowing how it is to kill. But you’re not most people and if you hadn’t done what you did then we’d all be dead. All of us. Tae, me, the others. We’d all be dead.”

You lift your head from your hands to look at him.

“You saved us. What you did wasn’t murder, it was our rescue.”

Jimin scoots closer and gives your arm a soft tap. Just once and then he pulls back again.

“You’ll feel guilty for quite some time. You’ll also think of that bitch’s face for a long time. But I hope you don’t feel ashamed in front of us. Because we don’t see you as someone deserving of shame. We all killed people and what you did?” He shakes his head. “None of us even consider this a killing. You did the right thing.”

You sob.

And Jimin reaches out and taps your arm again.

“Especially Yoongi doesn’t see you differently”, he says and being called out on the one thing which has been hurting you like nothing else feels suffocating. But it feels especially suffocating because it came from Jimin.

You stare at him, “what do you mean?”

“Because Yoongi to you is what Tae’s to me and I know how I felt whenever Namjoon made me kill people in front of him.”

“Oh.”

“And I know Yoongi. He doesn’t see you any differently. Hell. Knowing him, he’s beating himself up about what happened.”

You sniffle.

You look away.

You wonder if what you are witnessing is actually real.

You come to the conclusion that it is and look back at Jimin.

“How do you do it?” you ask him.

“Do what?”

“Live with blood on your hands? How do you do it so you don’t see yourself differently?”

He laughs with pain in his voice, “honey, it’s a little too late to ask me that”, he says but furrows his brows in seriousness when he sees how nervous you look because of it. He takes a deep breath and releases it by exhaling through his nose. “By covering it in more blood?” he is only partially joking but it makes you laugh nonetheless.

Jimin allows a tiny chuckle to slip past his lips as well, giving your arm a soothing pat. “And by pretending that what I did was the right thing? Or that it wasn’t my fault in the first place”, he says, staring at the night with lifeless eyes, “all those massacres? Just because I needed to sustain my body. All the torture? I did because Namjoon wanted me to. My wife?” He lowers his head.“I haven’t found an excuse for that one yet”, he confesses in a whisper.

“It was Namjoon’s fault”, you say.

Jimin turns his head, locking eyes with you. It feels as if this right here is the moment he truly looked into your eyes for the first time. That this right here was the moment where he allowed your connection to be real.

“Tae told me how you got turned. It was Namjoon’s fault.”

“You know my story?”

“Yes, Tae told me. He wanted the world to know the real you.”

“And you listened?”

“Of course I did. It meant a lot to him. You deserved it too. I feel like you were really trying to be better in those last few weeks before your death. “

Jimin pulls his arm away and scoots back. He seems flustered.

“I’m sorry by the way. I tried running as fast as possible, but I couldn’t get there in time”, you tell him.

“Don’t”, Jimin says, “I died for a good cause. Besides, I’m still here am I not?”

You nod your head.

“Do you know how it is?”

“What?”

“Afterlife.”

“Peaceful.”

“So you were there?”

“Mhm-hm for a while. It was a meadow. It was endless and the sun never set. I kept running because I could smell my favourite food in the distance. So I ran and ran and realised that I was so incredibly slow because I was human again. And then I cried and ran faster because I finally understood what happened and it made me so incredibly happy and excited to finally find my peace.”

He exhales shakily.

“I fell then and someone dragged me back. And I screamed and cried and begged those hands to let me go. And the smell became lesser and lesser again until suddenly I saw nothing and felt as if I was being burned alive.”

He lowers his eyes.

“Then I woke up again and looked into Thea’s face and I knew that I was back on earth again”, he whispers, carrying heartbreak in his voice.

“I’m sorry, this must have been awful.”

“It was.”

“But you have Tae back.”

“Yes”, Jimin smiles honestly, “I have him back.”

“I’m happy that you do, because Taehyung is happy when you’re with him.”

Jimin sneaks a glance your way. For just a second he seems honest in his emotions. Gratefulness and maybe just the slightest bit of fondness. But then he flusters and the honesty disappears.

“When you’re not being a complete and utter manipulative asshole that is”, you add, “you were being a really shitty person when you told Tae that I was the one forcing you to bite me.”

“I know”, Jimin says, lowering his eyes, “I’m sorry. I was scared that he’ll hate me otherwise.”

“Yeah well, if you keep being a dick to anyone he cares about, maybe one day he will.”

Jimin snorts, lifting his brows in agreement, “I heard this quite a lot those past few days.”

“Yeah ‘cause it’s true. I know you have good in you. All those great stories Tae told me about you are proof enough.”

“Tae’s a dreamer.”

“So why did you sit with me right now and listen to me be sad?”

“You’re sitting on my thinking bench”, he answers you, making you snort.

“I don’t think that’s it. I think you actually want to be good, but don’t know how to start.”

“You sound like Yoongi”, Jimin murmurs, looking to the side with a tense jaw.

“I mean, at least now you know that two people think that way.”

Jimin shakes his head.

You study his face long enough that he sends you a look.

“What?” he asks, lifting his brows in a challenge.

“I just don’t know what to make of you.”

“The fuck do you mean by that?”

“You’re acting like a dick most of the time and yet somehow I never really...I don’t know, you’re not a dick to me.”

He scoffs, “and why should I be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you’re a dick to everyone?”

“That’s not true. I’m just a dick to people who deserve it.”

“Yeah? Like Yoongi?” you ask in a scoff.

“We talked about that shit. You don’t gotta dwell on it anymore”, he hisses.

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“That explains why you seem chill tonight.”

“I guess.”

He looks away and seems embarrassed by the conversation.

“I still gotta ask though. Why were you never mean to me? Except the one time you lied about the club, but even there you listened once I sat you down. Why do you even listen to me in the first place?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not a total dick all the time you know?” he says and clicks his tongue.

“I like you when you aren’t. You know?”

“Ew, please don’t.”

“Mean.”

“Sorry.”

“Was that an apology?”

“No? The fuck’s you on about?”

You scoff and chuckle.

“You’re so weird sometimes.”

“You’re weird.”

You laugh and to your surprise, Jimin lets out a little chuckle as well.

You and he exchange a look.

“Why is it so hard for you to be good all the time and not just sometimes?”

“It’s not hard, I’m just not a good person.”

“Didn’t you just say that you aren’t a dick all the time?”

“Not being a dick all the time and being a good person isn’t the same thing.”

“I guess”, you nudge his arm, “so why can’t you be good? Is it because of Namjoon?”

He turns his head quickly, looking at you with widened eyes.

“Why are you always asking me that?” he hisses.

“Because I want to know.”

Jimin grinds his teeth, lowering his eyes in anger.

“So what if it is because of him?” he spits, “what good does it to you to know that it’s because of him? It won’t change the fact that I’m still an asshole.”

You study his features long enough that Jimin feels the need to turn his head away again, shifting in embarrassment.

“Your days are going to be peaceful from now on”, you whisper.

Jimin glances at you with disbelief deep in his eyes.

“I’m positive that they will be.”

“Tzt.”

You look at Jimin. He is picking at the skin on his fingers, staring at the ground with fearful eyes. Perhaps he is wondering when those days will end again. Like they always did in the past when he thought himself safe only to be reminded that chaos exists. Taehyung told you about those days. There was a farm, apple trees and a woman named Ava, who sometimes loved to dress up as a man. And that chaos came after one year of tranquillity and that they lost everything again. There were many stories like that. Many stories that felt like hope, but ended in chaos. You think that Jimin feels just like this right now. That he wonders when those days of hope will be shattered by the cruel hands of chaos again.

“Should we hug each other?” you ask quietly.

Jimin turns his head to you, “what kind of request is that?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know. I just figured that maybe we both need a hug tonight.”

He falters, punching his own palm repeatedly as his eyes run over your features. Then he exhales, straightening up. He scoots closer, placing his arms around you in complete silence. You wrap your arms around him as well, resting your chin on his shoulder.

He shudders in an almost angry exhale. His face falls against your neck, lips brushing against your skin in the process.

You bury your hand in his hair, making sure he stays close, “now let’s stay like this for a bit.”

Jimin doesn’t have his eyes closed because quite frankly he would hate himself if he gave in to his urges. He looks outside at the endless night and the painting of light and shadow the moon cast onto the earth. He doesn’t like the hug while at the same time hoping that it would never end. Namjoon took everything from him. He thinks of it. His life, his people, his lovers, his bond with Taehyung, his carelessness, his restful nights and his feelings. Namjoon ruined him. There is no person in his life who hurt him as much as he did.

Jimin closes his arms around your waist as tightly as possible.

There is no night where he doesn’t have trouble falling asleep, let alone sleep longer than an hour for nightmares of all the torture he was put through pull him awake again. Jimin hasn’t slept well ever since he was turned and he is so exhausted.

So, so exhausted.

He closes his eyes for he felt so terribly tired. He closes his eyes and lets those shadows on the ground disappear from his vision.

You thought that you wouldn’t enjoy the hug but you do. He feels good. His arms are strong but his hands are gentle and there is something in the way he holds you that lets you know that he understands way more than he may tell you. You can’t explain why, but it feels good to be understood by Jimin. The others may have killed a few people, but Jimin actually enjoyed it at times. So to be understood by him feels comforting. He, who wants to be better, tells you that you, who did something so awful, can be forgiven too. The thought comforts you greatly.

And so you close your eyes, pulling him closer until you have his scent in your nose. Orange blossoms. Just like Taehyung told you all those months ago.

“Thank you”, you whisper.

“For what?”

“The hug.”

“I’ll kill you if you tell anyone about this”, he murmurs.

“Don’t worry”, you let out a little scoff, “I’m not telling anyone. Idiot, just accept the hug.”

“Hah”, Jimin lets out a deep breath, “fuck, now you made it weird.”

He breaks away from you, putting distance between you and him while his eyes are looking to the side in embarrassment. He touches the side of his neck.

“You uhm”, he clears his throat, “you don’t stink.”

“Thank you?” you have to chuckle, “what a sweet compliment.”

“God, shut up”, he groans, “you’re so annoying.”

And with that he stands up, stomping off in an almost childish manner. You snicker to yourself. Poor boy, he is so obviously flustered. It is almost adorable.

You follow him.

“What?” he hisses, looking at you through the corners of his eyes.

“Nothing, I’m just walking.”

“Yeah? Do you have to walk next to me?”

“Oh come on, Jimin. Our titties just touched in a deep hug, stop being so stuck up.”

“Hah!” he rolls his eyes, “you’re stuck up”, he murmurs, making you grin.

Childish baby.

Soon you arrive by your door. He is avoiding eye contact at all cost.

“You uhm”, he says, reaches out to tap your shoulder only to pull back before he can touch you, “sleep tight.”

“You too.”

“Sure.”

Jimin turns and struts down the hallway.

“Jimin?”

He stops, looks over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for listening to me. I really needed it tonight.”

“Sure, uhm..thanks too”, he says and turns.

You sneak back into your room afterwards, closing the door on the world. You won’t be plagued by another nightmare that night.

Jimin stops when he is in front of Taehyung’s room. He touches the doorknob, hesitating to turn it. In the end he does.

“___?” Taehyung’s voice is small and weak in sleep.

“She’s not here.”

“Jimin? You are back? I, I thought you left”, Taehyung sits up and locks eyes with Jimin. Despite the darkness surrounding them, they can see each other clearly. The darkness never bothered them anyways.

“No, I’m back. I just left to think for a while.”

“I see. What are you doing here?” Taehyung asks, “are you here for sex? Please just give me a moment to find my strength.”

Jimin feels a twinge of guilt in his chest for he finally sees his own faults. He really treated Taehyung as nothing more than his willing sexdoll, didn’t he?

“I’m not here for sex. I was wondering if I could sleep here with you tonight”, he answers him, watching how Taehyung is struggling for words.

“S-sure”, he stutters out in the end, pulling the blanket to his chest in nervousness.

Jimin rids himself of his clothes until only his briefs are covering him. Taehyung looks at his bared body then at his face. There was unsure curiosity in his eyes, but also fear.

Jimin can see it so clearly now and it hurts him because he sees so much of himself in Taehyung’s eyes. Oh it hurts even more because while Namjoon never promised Jimin love, he did. He promised Taehyung love and yet Taehyung still looks at him with the same fear Jimin felt when Namjoon would undress in front of him.

“Open the blanket”, Jimin says, “you are not hogging all of it.”

Taehyung does so willingly but with nervousness in his scent.

Jimin lies down on the right side of Taehyung’s pillow and after a second of hesitation Taehyung places his head on its left side. He is gawking at him with his balled fists pressed to his chest.

Jimin reaches out and cups Taehyung’s cheek, aching when this makes the latter flinch.

“Can you remember the last time we fell asleep together naked?” he asks him.

“No”, Taehyung whispers.

“I can. It was after the hunt we went on and we shared a bath and drank wine and talked about the play you were planning on writing”, Jimin caresses Taehyung’s cheek, “and then we talked in bed for hours without bothering to get dressed. We talked until we fell asleep.”

“You remember?” Taehyung whispers.

Jimin nods his head, “the twenty ninth of December 1765, it snowed so much the next day and you insisted on staying in bed. It was your birthday that day and I gave you new paints. Remember?”

Taehyung opens his balled fists, placing his relaxed hands on the pillow between their faces. He nods his head with his lower lip trembling sadly.

“I think of those days a lot. Sometimes when Namjoon hurt me, I turned my consciousness off and lost myself in the memory of them. I didn’t mind the pain then”, Jimin confesses, “they’re the only detailed memories I have. Next to the one of our days on the farm.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Taehyung’s voice is barely audible.

“Because”, Jimin scoots closer, making Taehyung’s breath hitch, “I have never loved someone as deeply as I love you, Taehyung”, he says in a language the two vampires haven’t spoken in centuries. Jimin thought that he had already forgotten it, but he was wrong. It came so easy to him now that he can talk to Taehyung.

“Oh”, Taehyung gets out and sobs. He trembles as he sobs, contorting his face into a grimace of painful relief.

Jimin pulls him close, kissing his forehead before letting him hide his face in his chest.

“I love you too, Jimin”, Taehyung answers him in their mother language. He sobs afterwards. He sobs and sobs and sobs.

And Jimin pulls him as close as possible. He feels guilty for Taehyung should have never been pushed so low that confessions of love make him cry so miserably. But he also feels happy for he realises that hugging Taehyung feels like paradise.

He feels his own tears roll down his cheeks just seconds later. He realised that you were right. He is safe from Namjoon and he can finally be tender to Taehyung. He felt like crying in relief afterwards and so he did and Taehyung kissed him and held him and cried with him until they fell asleep in each others’ arms.

Jimin has no trouble falling asleep. He holds Taehyung and Taehyung holds him and all those demons lurking in the shadows can’t hurt him anymore.

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