#sorry for the blast from the past from 2014 but

[bluerthanvelvet444]

‧₊˚♫ ⋅* ‧₊✮𝐓𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥✮‧₊˚ ⋅*♫ ˚₊⋅

Tate Langdon x fem!reader

tags: smut with a plot and some fluff.

warnings: obsessive behavior, kind of a switch!Tate, oral (f receiving), dry humping, p in v.

summary: Tate encounters a Tumblr girl. (Inspirated a lot by the song I linked under.)

character count: 12k.

full fic under the cut ↓

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2014.

Tate had never really cared about looking ‘stylish’ or ‘fitting in’ when he was alive. He had his own style, which wasn’t trendy nor one of a kind just…his. He didn’t need anyone else’s approval to believe he was cool, mostly because the girls that were attracted to him were just as fucked up as him and the popular ones tended to ignore him.

Ironical how that changed in his afterlife, once he saw you. After dying, Tate’s time was spent either with the other trapped souls or by himself. Hardly ever people moved in the Murder House, and whether they did, they were a low-budget couple in their 40s. So Tate’s knowledge of the modern outside world was poor and lacking, especially when it came to his ‘peers’. That’s why when you first moved in the house, Tate was stunned, if not flabbergasted even.

You were struggling with carrying your heavy luggage, muttering curses as the wind blew your colorful hair in your eyes. The first word that came in Tate’s mind as he watched you from the front window was “cool.”

He spent the first days of your sojourn watching you from afar, admiring the way you acted. Tate found out the way you styled your outfits in the fashionable way, how you talked to your friends in slangs and how you spent your evenings taking pictures on your polaroid and on a glowing little box, that for some strange reason you called phone, to post (that’s the term you used) on a little blue icon marked with a white t. He didn’t know what was considered popular now, but he was sure you belonged in that category, judging by the way you looked and the way your pictures had high numbers under them whenever you uploaded them. He needed wanted to approach you, and the perfect opportunity showed up when he saw you type on your glowing box:

“PARTY in the MURDER HOUSE tonite!! >_< :33!!”

.⋆.‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧.⋆.

The house had never been so full of alive people having fun. The doors were open, colorful lights were shining and high volume music was blasting. Tate tried blending in, although the more he looked around the more he felt…lame. The drunk teens around him were all different from each other, and none of them matched his vibe. And he even wore his favorite sweater!

Still, he had nothing to lose, so he took a deep breath and searched for you in the crowd. Tate made his way past people as they pushed him to the left and to the right. It felt weird to be seen, to be touched. He found you circled by people asking questions about the house. Was it haunted? Were there ghosts? All of which you answered with a simple “No.”.

“Of course there aren’t any ghosts, I’m keeping them away from you.” Tate thought. Since he was too nervous to actually take a few steps and start a conversation with you, he figured he’d get some punch, just to loosen up a bit. He walked towards the punch bowl, and as soon as he reached to grab a cup, his hand met yours. You both grabbed the same solo cup.

“Sorry! You can have it.” You giggled as you let him take the cup. Tate blinked a few times, eyes locked to your bright smile, before grabbing the cup and filling it up. “Be cool, Tate. Don’t mess it up.” He thought.

“Uh. So…this is your party, right?” He gulped, eyes darting around the house as if he didn’t know every single inch of it by heart.

“Yes! Thought it would’ve been fun to host a party in a so-called Murder House. Plus, this house is giant, it gets lonely after some time…You live near here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you.” You smiled.

“Oh…yeah. My name’s Tate. I live nearby.” Tate’s eyes trailed upon your figure, he had never been able to see you from so close. You simply nodded, sipping from your cup. He cleared his throat.

“You know…I used to live in this house.” He added nonchalantly, trying so hard to sound interesting.

“Really?! No way!” Your giggles rang in his ears.

“Mhm. You probably noticed some of my things still laying around in my bedroom. No one has stepped in since I last did.” He nodded.

“Oh, do you wanna see? Maybe there’s something you left that you want back.” You replied, slightly raising your voice so that it could be heard over the music.

“I uh-There’s no need t-” He was interrupted by you grabbing his hand and leading him upstairs anyways. You opened the door of the bedroom and kicked out a couple that was making out on your bed.

“Ugh!! I should’ve locked the door!” You exclaimed, closing the door behind you two. Tate looked around, some of your things were laying around, but it was mostly all his.

“Dude you left everything here!” You giggled. Tate forced out a chuckle, everything was of course still there, since he ‘lived’ there normally and never moved.

“Yeah, uh…Guess I left in a hurry.” He muttered awkwardly and grabbed some of his Nirvana CDs.

“There they were…!” He pretended as if he didn’t just play them everyday before you came.

“CDs? Didn’t you use an IPod or something?” You gave him a confused look.

“Oh uh…no, I prefer CDs.” He nodded, as if he knew what an IPod was.

“You don’t use your phone?” You asked, raising up your glowing box.

“No, I…don’t have one.” He gulped.

“Damn, how do you handle that? I could never live without Tumblr or Instagram.” You chuckled.

“...Yea, um…just not my thing, y’know?” He cleared his throat, trying his best to change the subject.

“Oh, yea. I’ve met some people like that. I envy y’all, y’know? Tumblr’s literally addicting to me. Can���t help it though, love when people comment nice stuff and see you as inspiring, y’know?” You chuckled, sitting down on his your bed.

“Uh…can’t really relate. I’ve always been pretty invisible.” He shrugged.

“Oh…you don’t seem so bad. I like the whole grungy vibe.” You grinned, pointing to his outfit.

“Oh- uh…thank you.” He hoped it was a good thing to be ‘grungy’...or whatever you said.

“Yea, looks good on you. Doesn’t really fit me tho.” You giggled.

“You’d look gorgeous in anything.” Was what Tate wanted to say, but he didn’t wanna push his luck too far, so he just forced a shy chuckle.

.⋆.‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧.⋆.

You spent something like 30 minutes just laughing and getting to know each other while laying on the bed. During this whole time, he couldn’t help but think about how breathtaking you were: your smile, your eyes, your body, your personality, your whole being. You were perfect. Perfect for him. He found himself to be completely mesmerized by you, he needed you to be his, he needed you to make him feel loved, alive. He wondered how you did it, how ever since the first second you spent next to him, his heart started beating for the first time since he died. His body felt warm, his skin didn’t feel so cold anymore, he started breathing again. He was addicted to this feeling, so he did the only reasonable thing he would’ve done if he was actually alive, he gently grabbed your cheek and pressed his lips against yours. Everything felt just better after he kissed you, as if after that whole hell he had been through he finally reached paradise. He felt even more surprised when you kissed back, your lips moving in sync with his. He moved to lay on top of you, balancing his weight so he didn’t crush you, his lips never leaving yours as his fingertips danced across your body. His tongue slipped in your mouth, swirling around yours in a passionate dance. He let out some deep throaty groans, he felt his desire grow as it coursed through his veins. He needed to feel you, so he deepened his kisses. When you moved your lips down on his jaw and then his neck, he almost lost it. He felt embarrassed for moaning so much and basically becoming a mess under your touch, but he relaxed as soon as he felt your lips curling up in a smile against his skin. He moved on to devour your neck, grinning as he felt you moan now. His hands gripped every inch of your body.

“You’re so…beautiful…” He mumbled against your skin, grabbing your breasts through the fabric of your shirt. He looked up at you while tugging at your shirt, silently asking for consent to peel it off of you.

“You can take off whatever you want...” You winked, giving him a cute smile. He immediately peeled off both his and your clothes, groaning at the sight of your body. His lips worked hungrily on your collarbone, leaving marks that will most likely turn into hickeys the next day, then placed kisses on the valley between your breasts, a tiny whine leaving him when his fingers failed at desperately trying to undo the clasp of your bra.

You giggled and helped him, throwing your bra somewhere on the floor. He immediately took one of your nipples in his mouth, suckling gently while looking up at you with those brown puppy eyes of his. You smiled and twirled a strand of his blonde locks between your fingers, soft moans escaping your lips. He kept switching between sucking your left then right nipple, his hand groping the one he wasn’t attacking with his mouth. He felt himself getting harder as he felt the warmth radiating from your body, so while his mouth worked wonders, he desperately brushed his growing bulge from under his boxers on your leg. He let out some needy whines, and he couldn’t help but mutter sweet words against your skin as he lowered down to trail kisses on your tummy.

“So perfect f’me…” His words came out muffled as he trailed his kisses down, pressing his lips against your inner thigh and then on the fabric of your panties. You moaned when his fingers hooked under the waistband of your underwear, slowly pulling it down, as his lips immediately worked on your clit.

“Ah…just like that Tate…don’t stop…” You moaned when he started to suckle gently, soft whines leaving his mouth as well. As he got more needy himself, his mouth lowered on your entrance, his tongue gently brushing against your wet folds, finally entering you after teasing you a slight bit. What you felt was pure bliss, unholy sounds leaving your lips every time his tongue sped up. When you looked down, you found Tate looking up at you with those brown doe eyes from between your legs, as he worked his magic. The sight only drove you to the edge, your moans getting louder as you came on his face. He groaned and cleaned you up with his tongue, making sure not to miss any single droplet of your cum.

“So good…you taste so fucking good…” He moaned into your ear, pressing wet kisses on your neck and collarbone.

“Wanna be inside of you…please? please let me…” He whined while rubbing his hard dick against your flesh. You nodded and just like that he didn't waste any more time, he abruptly pulled his boxer down, groaning as the cold air hit his shaft, and lined up with your entrance. While you were still coming down from your high after the intense orgasm, Tate pushed his dick inside of you slowly, moaning uncontrollably once he felt your tight walls clenching around him. You were relieved that this encounter happened when you threw a party, or every single soul nearby would’ve heard the throaty groans and moans leaving his lips.

“Mh…tight…so tight…so pretty-can I move please? I’ll be- ah…I’ll be careful-please-” He whined against your neck, as his blonde strands caressed your face gently. You agreed, and just like that he was thrusting in and out of you, first slowly, then at a steady pace. The room was filled with filthy moans, yours and his, and the repetitive sound of skin against skin, as your sweaty bodies were sliding one against each other. He felt like he was going insane as his mind couldn't help but focus on you and you only. Every moment was more pleasurable and he felt like he was closer and closer, so he muttered in your ear, still thrusting into you.

“Close…so close…don’t think i’m gonna last-ah…longer…please please please…want you to cum too…” He babbled as his brain turned into mush.

“Ah-! Mhm…m’close too…” You breathed out, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten even more.

“Please-mh…cum on my dick? yeah? wanna feel you..please…” He whimpered, he felt like he couldn’t contain his upcoming orgasm. You couldn’t even respond as the repetitive brushing of his tip against your G-spot drove you to the edge. Letting out a loud moan, you came for the second time while he was still inside of you. That caused Tate’s eyes to roll back, his groans only filling the room as the feeling of your cum dripping on his length and your walls squeezing it, was too much to bear. He quickly pulled out and came all over your stomach, then he collapsed next to you.

He spent the next moments cuddling up against you, thinking about everything. His hands were playing with your hair, and when he looked down he found your eyes closed and your breath steady. He smiled at the sight, wanting every night of his afterlife to end like this and determined to make that happen. He kept placing sweet kisses on the top of your head, while he wondered how he was gonna explain to you that he died before Tumblr even existed.

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taglist: @cxndiedvi0lets @angeldollw @doll3tt33 @marchsfreakshow @fear-is-truth @dykejugheadjones @happy74827 @evpeters87 @dont-look-behind @brightanshiny

a/n: rahhhh tate's such a loser needy boy. BTW spent sm time on this fic, I'm pretty proud of how it turned out!! hope you like it! this is for my tumblr girlies🩷

all rights reserved!!

[ddoxhan]

letters from me to you

every letter you didn't send to jimin

word count : 0.9k words

genre : angst; you loved jimin more than you ever imagined, and it hurts that you still do; non-idol! karina x gn! reader

t/w : none :) other than a relationship breaking apart and there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it

a/n : unrequited love, something so ever ethereal yet burns a hole in your heart and leaves a scar you will never forget. but does it hurt more when it becomes unrequited? since it wasn't from the beginning, and you had a taste of that person's love.

— 26/01/2014 | sunny ☀️

to my dearest jimin,

happy first anniversary! it's been 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes since you said yes under those bright stars on this very day last year. time has gone past so fast yet so slow, when I look into your eyes, everything around us seems to slow down and allow me to drown myself in those galaxy-like orbs of yours. you know I've never been expressive with my words hence this letter but still, I can never find the very words to convey my love to you. however, these four words might actually just do the trick.

I love you, forever.

your love

—  11/04/2015 | spring sun 🌸

to my crybaby jimin,

don't get mad just from reading 'crybaby' but I can't help but call you that. not after you so adorably sniffled while watching 'the notebook'. I just wanted to squeeze those cheeks of yours but I knew you were going to be upset for breaking the mood, so I held myself back. okay, this was definitely not the purpose of this letter, but oh well, I just wanted you to know you're the cutest.

happy birthday, my baby jimin! once my baby, forever my baby. I hope you had a blast today after been to the amusement park, cafes and even the late night movie later before the end of your big day. I have never been more blessed with a gift like you to be in my life and better, as my girlfriend.

once again, happy birthday. let's spend this day together in the years that are to come. I love you, forever.

your beloved

— 08/07/2015 | cloudy ☁️

to my precious jimin,

I know I'm in the wrong so I am not going to make up any excuses to justify what I did. you felt hurt and neglected by my actions and nothing can ever undo those wounds. but will you let me make it up to you? if you need time to think, take as long as you need because I'll be right here waiting until you give me a chance to prove my love for you that never faded. if anything, I only find myself loving you more than I did the day before.

work has doubled in amount but I should have known to try harder to spend time with you despite that. it is my responsibility to do that, yet I chose the easy way out and hurt you. I'm so sorry, baby. please forgive me. I love you so so much, I love you, forever.

your dumb bear (still in regret)

— 17/03/2016 | rainy 🌧️

to my wonderful and amazing jimin,

there is nothing special about today, surprise! although there isn't a special occasion today, I want to let you know that every day that I spend with you is special and every moment we have together is engraved in memory forever no matter what happens.

I know I can be cheesy but I feel like every time I tell you that I love you, it just feels more overwhelming and unbelievable. so unbelievable that I have the most beautiful; in and out; person in the whole world as my girlfriend. it would be better if one day, it would change to my wife. I can already tell how your face would start burning up and the tip of your ears cutely beet red. even though I had told you I love you numerous times, it never feels enough. I love you, forever.

yours forever

—  02/10/2017

to my lovely jimin,

it's been five years since we've been together, and I know how you are when something or someone upsets you. if you don't talk to me or even be next to me, I would not know what to say or do to help you, honey. we promised to never go to bed with complicated feelings, regardless of whether it be about us or someone else. you said it is not good for the health if we keep our feelings bottled up.

if it's about me, please, please tell me what I did wrong. tell me what I need to fix so that you would not be upset. please, talk to me, jimin. let me be by your side as I always did. I love you, forever.

—  19/01/2018

to my one and only jimin,

please take me back, I love you so much. please don't leave me all alone in this shared home of ours. it's too painful to see the memories of us, filled with happiness and joy. let me still call us, us. please, please come home and whisper sweet nothings like you used to, say that everything was all a prank. that you went overboard with the joke. please bring me into your embrace and stroke my back, tell me everything's alright, we're alright.

I love you, jimin, you know that right? I love you, forever.

yours

.

.

.

.

you know, I've always imagined us walking down the aisle as I take you in my hand and swear the oath to be each other's seasons, side by side all the way through our future days together. but sadly, all I could do now was clap for you, your happiness with your lover, staring at each other so lovingly on the pedestal. if you were happy, so would I be.

because I've always loved and will love you forever, my jimin.

[roosterbox]

Fic Rec Friday 2/16/2024

Title: Like It Was Made For You

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandoms: X-Men: First Class (2011) RPF, British Actor RPF, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) RPF

Relationship: Michael Fassbender/James McAvoy

Characters: Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy

Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Mpreg, Breakfast in Bed, Coffee, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Love, Established Relationship

Summary: "I’m pregnant,” James says. This excuse works, as it has for the past seven and a half months. He’s beginning to feel a bit guilty about this, but only a bit, since he’s also feeling the size of a whale and distinctly uncomfortable. Michael smiles.

Or: adventures with tabasco sauce, hot coffee, hurt/comfort, and sunny mornings.

———

A blast from fandoms past today. These were the days…

Mpreg is my kryptonite. Seriously. If there’s ever a ship you want me to check out, and you want an absolute guarantee that I’ll read it? Drop me an mpreg fic. I may or may not enjoy it, but I will NEVER be able to resist the siren call of mpreg. You’d think I’d be more drawn to ABO as a result, but eh. Anyway.

The dynamic here is so good. I love McFassy fics where James is something of a lil shit. Because let’s face it - he absolutely is, lol. His restlessness is so well conveyed; I’ve never been (and never will be) pregnant, but somehow I still know how he feels. And Michael being the softer, perhaps more caring one of the two is lovely. He’s certainly a tad bit overprotective, but luckily for him, it’s endearing. Their relationship is so affectionate and playful. It’s a genuine pleasure to read these two guys just existing in the world and loving each other, eagerly awaiting the birth of their child.

I love the changing names for their kiddo too, shifting as they try different ones out. That kid, when they’re born, will be so fucking cherished and adored. Also, if you read other fics of this ship by one of these writers, you start to recognize familiar tropes. Those tropes are like a warm blanket for me whenever I reread this. Reminds me of a time, years ago, when we were all just enjoying reading, writing, and experiencing the relationship - friendly, sexual, and all points in between - of these two actors. Fun times, my dudes.

Important note: Locked fic, so no link, sorry. You can probably still find it fairly easily if you have an account though.

———

Next Week: For the penultimate fic in this year-long batch of weekly recommendations, how about a nice, smutty little Spacedogs story? Features include Lust/Love at First Sight and then almost immediately turning that UST into RST, Nigel being a lil shit, and transmasc Adam. An excellent combo if I do say so myself.

See you soon!

[roamingcatholics]

weird question! in 2014 you published the audio file to a song called dead eyes by shelly rose, do you know anything more about the album (lethargy)? sorry to bother, especially as that was so long ago now but i figured id ask.

Oh my god anon this is such a blast from the past! I had no idea their bandcamp was deleted! I can tell you at least that I found it through this mix: https://8tracks.com/hymn/roses-cling. Good luck on your search!

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: STAR★NYAKS

Title: Takane no Hana wa, Chirasaretai (高嶺の花は、散らされたい)

Author/Artist: Sakyo Aya

Release Date: 2021/02/26

Cast: 

Tadokoro Hinata x Terashima Takuma

Ishiya Haruki

Tada Keita

Watai Kanato

Fushimi Haruka

Watanuki Kaho

Shimano Hana

Nanase Ayaka

Miyake Marie

Nagatsuma Juri

Synopsis: Yukishita Hana, the kind Alpha working at Starnyaks Coffee. Renjaku, the arrogant Alpha who is a regular at said cafe, whose flower studio is located nearby.

At least that’s what the clients perceive, but Yukishita is actually an Omega with a crush on Renjaku. He couldn’t hide his gender anymore when his first heat came unexpectedly…at age 26!

Review Proper

IT’S 2003, FOLKS!!!

Can I just stress that “nyak” means something similar to “ew” in the Filipino language? It’s just so funny to me. They omitted the k in the BLCD, but I will never let it go. It’s STAR★NYAKS to me until the day I die, Sakyo Aya. Also, idk if my memory serves me right, but this, surprisingly, is the healthiest Sakyo Aya pair to date? They’re not exactly that dumb for each other, and I loved how Hana was only in it for the underwear the first few chaps, while Renjaku-san wasn’t overly possessive, unlike most of the Kuroneko Kareshi tops. Hana also wasn’t an annoying tsundere! Hallelujah! Nakamura Shungiku character development when? Renjaku-san turning domestic was such a shocker to me too! The very first time I’ve ever wanted a Sakyo Aya top since Ei. 

Anyway, enough about the plot. This review’s highlight is, of course, the VAs ‘cause this was undoubtedly ROBBED in last year’s awards.

I will never get tired of saying this, but

MY RINTAROU-KUN IS BACCCCKKKKK!!!

I wasn’t too keen at first, as his voice was a little too high for Hana, but he quickly grew on me. You really gotta give it to Shinshokan when it comes to casting. 👏👏👏 Hearing Takuma in a Sakyo Aya was just such a blast to the past, man. I couldn’t ask for more. If y’all wanna hear what old school pron sounds like in a modern setting, look no further. I’m sorry, SatoTaku and Sonna ni Iu, but this is Takuma’s best performance of 2021, and it’s with none other than rookie TADOKORO HINATA!

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! IT’S BEEN NINE YEARS SINCE WE’VE EVER HAD SOMEONE OF THIS RANGE DEBUT AS A BL SEIYUU!!! The last was Hamano Daiki in 2014, and he’s not even that active outside Yarichin nowadays. 😩 And, I know that I have a bad habit of looking for a rookie’s soundalike senpai, BUT TADOKORO DOESN’T HAVE ANY!!! HE A RARE BREED! A GIFT FROM THE GODS!!! He’s like a deeper TsudaKen with a clear diction like OnoYuu with a side of Suwabe suave~ YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN??? But that’s just diction and range! HE REALLY DOESN’T SOUND LIKE ANYONE I’VE EVER HEARD BEFORE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA

JUST LISTEN TO THE TRAILER:

I’m just so proud. I’ve been supporting him since his first official supporting role in Memento Scarlet and have always expressed my wish to see him in a lead role in every review since and here we are now. 

And how was his performance in his debut role, you might ask? Fucking perfect ✨ It can’t get any better than that. He really saw that wig and snatched it! Listen, Takuma’s a Gen 2 veteran who has his own rhythm that can swallow you whole if you’re not too careful. Nakajiki fell victim to that back in Hidoku Shinaide, and he was a top there, so it was going to be harder on Tadokoro here ‘cause bottoming was Takuma’s forte! He not only stood his ground, but he owned that Takuma ass so well. 😭 Granted, Tadokoro has some experience in the anime industry, but he’s honestly done better than the recent Takeuchi Ryouta, Matsuda Kenichirou, and Hamada Kenji comebacks when they’re supposed to be more experienced. UGH. SO MUCH POTENTIAL WITH THIS ONE. I DON’T GET WHY HE DIDN’T GET AN AWARD!!! HE WAS ROBBED ISTG!!! He doesn’t have anything lined up for 2022 yet, but I’m gonna eye his profile like a hawk and have a fund ready just for him. He’d do great in a Haji! If they only adapted their works

We have stellar plot execution, AMAZING VOICE WORK AND CHEMISTRY, and overall faithful following of the manga. I read PCB’s scans before this was licensed by SuBLime, and I’m not sure if they used the magazine or tanko raws, but there was a bit of a jumble with the sequencing of the events in the BLCD. I’m leaning towards the former, though, so I highly suggest getting a copy of the SuBLime version if you plan to have a read-along. If you’re a fan of this series, I implore you to listen to this. It’s one of the best adaptations of 2021. Don’t listen to chil-chil. AND TO EVERY TADOKORO, VETERAN, AND WHALE TRASH OUT THERE, GET THIS. GET THIS!!! 

[teaandatale]

Steggy Week 2022 – Day 2 (Monday): Favourite Era

A FIC PREVIEW of "This Tune of You"

But we have to start with the link above as this is a bit of a mash-up of both Day (1) Inspired By and Day (2) Favorite Era, where this was inspired by a lovely bit of old fanart and set in one of my favorite “eras” for Steggy, a Modern AU set just after Avengers 1, where Stark Tower plays a big role. Let’s rewind to a simpler time of 2015, when this idea first came to me, while I was enjoying Steggy from the sidelines and Stark/Avengers Tower found family AUs were still all the rage. Back then, I loved nothing more than an AU where Peggy was brought forward in time to be with Steve. Only surprisingly, I had a more angsty take on such a reunion.

Let’s start with the original inspiration for this fic! At a time when I was not actively on tumblr but discovered Steggy and needed content to obsess over, sometime in 2015, I came across the loveliest fanart of Peggy with a caption that immediately captured my muse.

Shout out to @illustratedkate-blog who made a headcanon that Peggy in 2014 would have loved the Arctic Monkeys (and wearing cool ass leather jackets & shades as seen in the art. I don’t think is on tumblr anymore. I wish I could have let them know back then how inspiring their art was to me.

The song in question that Peggy (and consequently I, who had already been very obsessed with the Arctic Monkeys at the time) is "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys.

This was one of the first fics I ever attempted for Steggy (though never finished & never shared, because I was still super insecure about sharing my writing). I like to think I’ve improved a lot in the last seven years, so I hope I will one day be able to rework and finish this.

Until such a time, enjoy this collection of random snippets from the fic.

Title: This Tune of You

Summary: Not long after the Battle of New York, a still struggling to adjust Steve has another big surprise. A blast from his past, Peggy Carter mysteriously appears in one of Stark’s labs at Stark Tower. But the reunion is difficult, both Steve and Peggy now displaced in time, and not any better about discussing feelings than they did back in the SSR Bunker in London in 1943. They remain in this weird place, where they should have the closest connection, but instead of a spark rekindling, they have an argument about what Peggy’s appearance in the 21st century could mean and, in their stubbornness, it drives them apart. They begin to avoid each other.

Peggy who had never been one for sitting around, decides to take life by the balls and reacquaint herself with this world in 21st century. But after Tony shoots down her trying to visit England as New York City was feeling very lonely, she makes it her mission to seek out any still existing British comforts to make her more at ease.

She ends up discovering the Arctic Monkeys while hearing a song play while trying to get a handle on shopping malls, and the sound of it, the punching drum sounds, the forceful guitar, the lyrics, they all speak to her current state of mind. Her obsession with the new music leads ends up consumes all of Avenger Tower. Meanwhile, Steve continues to seem oblivious, as Peggy starts to get attention from many people, especially men, except for the one guy she wants it from.

**

“Have you no idea that you're in deep? I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week. How many secrets can you keep? Cause there's this tune I found That makes me think of you somehow an' I play it on repeat”

Peggy Carter was still getting used to the fact that department stores, shopping malls, and all stores otherwise carry more options ready-to-wear than she could imagine. But Peggy has never been one to let unfamiliar settings daunt her. Pepper offered to do a little shopping with or for Peggy, just to get her started, but Peggy is a go-getter. And if the modern woman can be a chameleon, she wants to enjoy figuring out what innovations she appreciates on her own. Although she did take the names of the brands that Pepper was wearing as a starting point.

And as she walks carefully around lacquered mannequins, through racks of blouses and displays of jeans described as 'skinny' and 'leggings,' Peggy hears a loud strange sound float in the store. Peggy drops the dark jeans she was inspecting and listens to the assertive drum beat fold into an electric string sound. She is mesmerized by the repetitive beat, moving her like an extension of her heartbeat. Then she catches snippets of the lyrics and she knows that she's just fallen in love with this strange music. And she desperately needs to know what it is.

She seeks the saleswoman who's folding sweaters and asks her if she knows what the music is called. The girl with the perfectly straight jet black hair tells her she's pretty sure it's an Arctic Monkeys song but immediately pulls out her phone offering to Shazam it for her. She helpfully explains the app when Peggy tells her she doesn't know what the means. Peggy tells her that she's still getting used to her iPhone but the girl doesn't seem to be put off from Peggy's lack of smart phone knowledge.

"They're like, rock music, alternative, I guess I'd call them," the girl tells her as they wait for the app to perform its magic. "They're a British band."

This seals it for Peggy. She knows next to nothing about what the hell alternative means but she already feels a kinship to the Arctic Monkeys, whoever they might be. With the song name, Peggy thanks the girl and takes her up on her offer to show her the new line of jeans the store just received. Peggy walks out with a new leather jacket (faux leather, she's learned), and a new pair or skinny jeans that Joy, the friendly saleswoman, told her make her legs look great. Peggy agrees even though they feel a bit strange.

**

Peggy still frowns at the sight of Steve every time that she sees him in the Tower, steadfastly looking away from him every time he tried to meet her gaze. This time he's walking up the stairs while Maria talks over the files she's glancing through. At the landing, after a quick pause to look at Peggy, Pepper and Natasha, nodding politely, they part ways and Steve heads down the hall. Maria collapses into the couch as Pepper leans forward to pour her coffee from the French press.

"Gramps all set for the mission?" Natasha asks.

"Ramping up to go," Maria replies.

"Guess that explains why he's wearing half of his suit," Natasha says with a sly smile.

"He runs a little hot," Peggy says automatically, in a bored tone.

"Oh, we know," Natasha quips, setting the three of them into fits of giggles.

Peggy rolls her eyes, not in the mood.

"Sorry Peggy," Pepper says sheepishly with a shrug. "He may be an idiot but he's very easy on the eyes."

"All those bulging muscles... His chest is bigger than mine," Maria adds, sighing a little.

Natasha smirks. "Can't deny he looks good in those tight shirts Carter," Natasha says.

“Oh please,” Peggy huffs, “as if I wasn't the first person to touch them," she says in an offhand voice.

They all laugh again as Maria whoops and even Pepper leans in when Natasha asks for that story.

**

Tony, Clint and Natasha spy on Peggy in the training rooms a little too often. But Peggy's been giving them so many opportunities, since she started working out as much as twice a day. They heed Natasha's warning not to disturb Peggy though, and instead commit to quietly watch in awe as Peggy shreds the equipment.

"Isn't this sexy rock music? Meant for a young crowd?" asks Tony.

"She is sexy," Clint bleats as Peggy continues her rotation of one-handed push-ups and leg extensions.

"Oh god, not you too," Natasha scoffs.

"What? You can't deny it," Clint retorts.

"Of course not. But you two are acting like pervy teenage boys. She's gorgeous. And she'd eat you both alive."

"I'm sorry, who's standing here with us?" Tony asks.

Natasha smirks. "Oh I have a different interest regarding this situation."

She leaves them confused and slightly worried, but not enough to prevent them from gawking at Carter.

**

Tony's curiosity has peaked. "J.A.R.V.I.S how many times has Peggy played that song?"

"Seventy three plays in the training room, sir. The total count for that album totals over two hundred."

Tony shakes his head. "No wonder it's stuck in my head."

**

Steve keeps attempting to find ways to talk to Peggy, maybe suggest they go to the coffee place she and the others seem to like so much. But he can't seem to find a good moment, or get his mouth to open at all around her. But after seeing her come back with a guy, he can't stop the angry jealousy. He think he's calmed down enough by the next day when he sees her at the team meeting. Tony suggested pizza afterwards and Steve takes the chance to ask Peggy to talk. He insists on finding a more quiet spot.

They find an empty room off the lounge. He just wants to talk, ask her how she is, but the conversation goes from nowhere to havoc in seconds. He seems to be offending her every time he opens his mouth and he starts to get frustrated at her constant frown.

"You seem to be getting along just fine," he says icily.

Peggy's crossed arms turn into dangerous fists at her hips. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"New clothes. New friends. Guess you've come up with a new you to go with your new life."

"And what would you have me do? Lock myself in this Tower? Pretend I'm still in the nineteen forties?"

Steve shrugs petulantly, his arms now crossed, tight against his chest. "Seems like you're just fine leaving everything else behind. Going out for drinks. Coming back at all hours."

The accusations in his tone sets Peggy off. "Who do you think you are? My keeper? My father? Who I spend my time with is none of your concern!"

"Yeah I see you keep making that clear. So that's it? You're just moving along with no interest in the girl I used to know? You have no interest in what I think?"

"What did you expect Steve? You brought me here, to a time where every single person I've known is dead!"

"I'm not!" Steve yells.

"Oh and look at how that's served me! When I wasn't the perfect fantasy you imagined you walked away." Peggy's voice breaks, and she feels her chest heaving.

"You think this is fun for me? That I belong here any more than you do?" Steve is practically screaming.

"Dammit Steve!" Peggy curses. "You have a team! You have a place here! You're just a bridge away from Brooklyn. I have no home and I can't even step on British soil because Peggy Carter doesn't exist. I don't even exist in this world! So you'll excuse me for not feeling sorry for you, for not looking back at what is no longer mine!"

[mauricio-swiftie94]

I would like to do two list ranking from my more to less favourite @taylorswift albums and other where i rank from the more to less special album to me and why.

My favourite Taylor Swift albums list is:

1- folklore (of course)

2- evermore (duh)

3-red (masterpiece)

4- fearless (country realness)

5-1989 (pop realness)

6-speak now (lyrical masterpiece)

7-midnights (i felt seen)

8-lover (makes me smile)

9-reputation (when I workout)

10-debut (still has some of her best songs)

And now from more to less special album to me :

1-lover: this album come out in probably the best stage of my life, brings me such good memories and daylight would be forever my breath in breath out moment.

2-folklore: even though it was during pandemic i was having still having a good time in my life and also some sad moments but folklore was my scape and my soundtrack of 2020

3-evermore: come out while i was having a relationship and then the breakup, but even that evermore help me to create such good memories and help me to release such good amount of tears.

4- red: this album come out during probably the most difficult time of my life, I cannot explain all that but red was the reason i was happy sometimes thanks to this album I become a fan of Taylor and then with tv come out i create even more and better moments, red would be forever special to me.

5-speak now: thanks to speak now I became a fan of Taylor Swift MUSIC, I remember vividly wanting to buy this album just because i used to LOVE. The cover album even though i didn’t listen any song of the album till mid 2011 then spark fly come out as a single and wow i was blow away I wanted to know every single song of the album.

6- reputation: this album come out during a bittersweet moment of my life, i didn’t know what to do with my life but also I was not sad with it, i was just trying to figure it out everything and reputation was the soundtrack of a year where i was going through many changes.

7-1989: this era has two moods, when it started it was such a blast I remember during August 2014 through may 2015 this era was magnificent, in my life everything was alright (kinda) but then in my life I was starting to having “problems” and then Taylor career there was a lot of drama and i was always in Twitter defending her and everything but then it became too much, I think 1989 was huge for her and that bring a lot of good and bad, I still have really good memories of this era.

8-fearless: i was in my last year of middle school and this album introduce Taylor music to me even though I used to listen only three songs, love story, forever and always and you’re not sorry, i was listening more other artists, but with fearless tv I created more and better memories with this album.

9- midnights: well this just come out not even month ago I still cannot say how special this album is to me, right now I’m focusing on my mental health and since the era started i been struggling with it but midnights has some songs that make me feel seen and I relate to those or makes me think about a past relationship, it may be more special but to know that i need a year or two.

10-debut: I know I know debut always in the bottom but tbh I didn’t knew about the existence of this album till 2008 and i was not a big fan of country like i am right now, debut grow in me and even though I don’t have memories of this era, I’m pretty sure I’ll make the best ones when Taylor releases her version 💕

[sitp-recs]

hi :) i simply adore your blog and your fic recs are so spot on, you’ve made me fall back in love with drarry and hp. I rly love reading a fic before I go to sleep but I end up picking a 70k word one and end up staying up much longer than I wanted to so could you possibly recommend me any fics max 15k words, with a happy ending pls i need the cuteness to help me sleep 🥰 Thanku so so much xx

Hi anon! Thanks so much, I’m thrilled to know I had a small part in making you fall back in love with Drarry, that’s amazing! And what a mood lol I used to pick long fics before bed too, it’s a mighty trap 😂 I’ve read many short fics in the last year so I decided to go for these delightful and not-as-popular shorts, with excellent build up and happy endings. Perfect bedtime reads in my opinion! I got a bit too excited with this list so I’ll call it 31 Bedtime Reads! One for each day of the month ;) enjoy!

The Long Fall by @tackytigerfic (2021, M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

oxygen by @maesterchill (2020, T, 4k)

Draco doesn’t smoke. Except when he needs to breathe.

A Charitable Christmas by Alisanne (2017, E, 5.6k)

Hermione’s plans to raise money for war orphans do not meet with Harry’s approval. Fortunately, Draco steps in to help him come up with a much more enjoyable strategy.

Harmony (Left-Handed Melody Remix) by mindabbles (2010, M, 5.8k)

He is the last person Draco was expecting, but then again, this is not a place Draco ever expected to be.

Vintage by momatu (2017, T, 7k)

Of all of the vineyards, in all of the regions, in all of France, Draco's blasted editor sends him to Potter's...

Our Ordinary Days by Lomonaaeren (2012, M, 8k)

Two men, both fathers of sons, meet in a bookshop. And the rest is the kind of history that doesn't make history.

Ice Snakes, Glow-worms and Wolverine Stew by khalulu (2015, M, 8.4k)

Harry Potter apparently wants to talk to Draco about something, but odd events keep getting in the way of that conversation – and bringing them closer together.

The Page Eleven Wars by fireflavored (2010, E, 8.5k)

In a gossip-hungry post-war Wizarding World, Rita Skeeter has a wildly successful column in the Daily Prophet known as Page Eleven. Naturally, her favourite targets are the poster boys of the two sides of the war: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

Blind Date by JosephineStone (2016, T, 8.6k)

Draco’s been working with Harry for years when another one of his relationships goes stale. He has to be married within a year, and though the WizNet has burned him in the past, Draco finds a new possibility in man as desperate to marry as he is.

Stories in E Minor by @huldrejenta (2014, E, 8.7k)

Draco has found his place in the Muggle world. He's got his music, he's got his neighbours and he is content. Until a certain someone from the past enters his life again.

Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (2020, T, 8.8k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

Til Our Compass Stands Still by china_nightingale (2018, M, 9k)

Harry and Draco eventually realise that things don't always go to plan, even if it's a plan they've been carefully crafting to keep themselves safe from each other.

The Interest Here by disapparater (2015, T, 9k)

Draco has his own morning show on the wireless, which he loves; an ambitious assistant, whom he needs; and days in The Tea Shop, where he relaxes. He also has a new caller on the show, whom he finds bloody annoying.

Tidings of Comfort series by @blamebrampton (2012, G, 10k)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover.

Sweet Indulgence by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 10k)

It doesn't matter that Marcy from Accounting is dancing on the tables, Shacklebolt is wearing antlers, and Elliot from Transportation is on his third round of Mariah Carey on karaoke because all the free champagne in the world won't salvage the Ministry Christmas party for Draco if Potter doesn't show up soon.

Settle in in my slow-burning heart by orphan_account (2015, NR, 10k)

Five years after the war Draco is working a tech developer job in the Auror Office, and it's all great except this one thing: Harry Potter works there, too.

Adventures in Truth and Texting by @fluxweeed (2020, E, 11k)

Former Death Eaters are being targeted with a Veritaserum curse – it’s permanent, and makes victims speak aloud their every thought. Luckily, it’s easier to control when writing.

fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (2015, NR, 11k)

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

Rebuilding Draco Malfoy by khasael (2011, E, 11k)

Draco wants to do something to get his life back on track, but no-one seems to be taking him seriously – until he finds himself in an Auror training session led by Harry Potter.

Cold Like Fire by QueenofThyme (2012, M, 12k)

Head Auror Harry Potter had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is, until he discovered who the teacher was.

What’s My Age Again? by @lazywonderlvnd (2018, E, 12k)

Harry Potter has had enough of pleasing the public, and his reckless tendencies are finally getting out of hand.

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken (2020, T, 12k)

What are the Wizarding world's most elite law enforcers doing when they aren't catching criminals? It seems Auror Malfoy is often caught throwing food into Auror Potter's mouth when he's mid-yawn.

Kill, Fuck, Marry by @lettersbyelise (2018, E, 12.6k)

Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

The Year of Non-Magical Thinking by whiskyandwildflowers (2018, E, 13k)

“I don't know what I'm going to do, Potter. I'll think of something. So will you. But this is my journey to self-actualization," Draco managed to smirk. "You can fuck off and get your own."

Evolution by @potteresque-ire Pie (2013, M, 13k)

Draco Malfoy was condemned to live a Muggle’s life for his three-year probation. His wand was locked away, and he was forbidden to set foot in Wizarding Britain until Hermione Granger secured a job for him in the Aurors’ stock room.

Plan Alphabet by @xx-thedarklord-xx (2019, T, 14k)

After realizing that his feelings for Harry were unfortunately real, Draco embarks on a foolproof—yes, Longbottom, foolproof—plan to woo Potter.

Countdown by dysonrules (2013, M, 14k)

When the Wizarding world is plagued by random outbreaks of Dark Magic, the Ministry assigns Curse-Breakers to assist Auror teams on their missions.

All Roads Lead Home by @dracogotgame (2015, G, 15k)

Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.

Espresso Patronum by @tasteofshapes (2020, T, 15k)

When Draco reappears five years after the war and opens a wildly popular coffee shop, Harry’s pretty sure that Draco’s Up to Something. He just has to prove it.

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (2014, E, 15k)

Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

Turn and Face the Strange (time may change me) by @punk-rock-yuppie (2019, T, 16k)

Draco and Harry and how their relationship—and themselves—change over the course of eleven years.

[80s4life]

The Things I Feel For You

Word Count: 1,349

Status: Requested!

Ask: "Hey! Could you write number 15 on the Fluff Prompts list for Barney Ross please? hope you're doing well!" - @one-boring-person

Fandom: The Expendables 2010-2014 {1-3}

A/N: This was very fun for me! Now I know why people use prompts! It gives you something to work towards, doing whatever just to make that one sentence click! I appreciate every prompt maker lol!

Relationship: Barney Ross x Reader

Summary: After a long mission, the team parties off all of the month-long-jitters. But, with the fuse of alcohol and strong feelings, the drunk host speaks the sober truth, the reader and Barney finally revealing things they've kept under hard wraps, some things their field of work may call a weakness. And weaknesses are dangerous, or are they?

Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, partying like crazies, fluff, sexual themes (mentioned, not actually in here), Christmas being a child, the GROUP being children

Masterlist The Expendables Masterlist

Prompts: #15 (from this list @waiting-for-motivation)

15: "I'm asking because I've seen the way you look at me."

{I do not own the prompts, credits to original owners above, nor do I own the gif below -> @slystallone}

{God damn! Sorry, this gif tho}

Flying head first into the cabin of the aircraft, I crash right into Gunnar, the broad Swede quickly grabbing my waist on instinct, just as a bomb and multiple rounds of ammunition are fired in futile attempts of subduing us. Quickly pushing past us, Barney quickly glances at us as he and Christmas charge to the front of the plane, starting the engine and pulling out as quickly as possible.

As for the rest of the team, Toll and Yin Yang protect the rampart of the bridge as the door pulls up to a close. All the while Caesar checks his bag, securing the sole purpose of our mission, all the stolen goods accounted for. With a sharp nod, we all take a collective sigh of relief, knowing we had done well once again, knowing we are gonna hear shit from Barney, but not as much this time 'round.

As the plane is led safely out of danger, all we have left is ample free-time as we wait for the long ride home. Gunnar, making note of this, pulls his flask from his chest pouch, walking over to the radio, putting it on full-blast. Caesar, not one to miss a party, hops up to grab himself a shot of whiskey, joining Gunnar on the first shot of the night.

I giggle, nudging Yin Yang, "This is gonna be a long night."

He just grimaces, knowing the extent of my words. Last time, we had gotten so trashed, Gunnar and Caesar became male strippers, Yin Yang became the Keg Drinking King, Barney has painting pictures with the ashes of his cigars against the walls of the plane, Christmas had left only about a dozen phone calls to Lacy, and Toll had been found laying naked on top of the plane the next morning. Given, we had luckily been home before the party had started, hidden in the shadows of the warehouse, Tool also attending that time.

However, that was one of the last parties he had attended afterwards, having given himself a horrible, unstable handiwork of a dick on his thigh. I guess he had thought it was the most intricate design yet though, as I had recalled bits and pieces of that night, him being drunkenly pleased with himself. He was less than pleased when he awoke that next day.

"We deserve it. Besides, how bad could we possibly get this time? It can't be any worse than before," Toll adds, handing us each a beer, leaving shortly after to hand the new arrivals, Barney and Christmas, a drink of their own as well.

Christmas all but laughs, already watching as Barney goes to get the keg out of the closet, knowing damn well how this night's gonna play out. Yin Yang nods approvingly, not going to let anyone beat his new record of 2 minutes.

This had surprised me as we were both around the same height, him being similar in size and weight as myself, both being light-weights in a group of drunkards. In our defense, we were smaller in comparison compared to the rest of the muscular 5'10" and up men. Drinking came easy for them, Yin Yang and I having to watch ourselves as the alcohol hits us the worst and quickest.

I, however, did not take this mental note seriously as, about an hour and a half in, I was already more than buzzed. In a giddy mood like this, my mind tends to wander to the one person that makes me feel special, Barney.

Looking around the room, I realize he isn't anywhere in sight. Taking this as a sign, I make my way silently to the cockpit, avoiding the men in the middle of a poker and drinking game full of laughter, punches, and teasing.

Toll gives me a look of appreciation and an "I know what you know" kinda look, making me blush crimson. He was always good with the women, something I will never let his pride get a hold of, stating the fact very often to the group of mercenaries.

I take a seat in the co-pilots chair, Christmas' usual throne, just missing Barney's sideways glance. I instantly know what's going on, him going through his moods every now and then. Something's making him overthink, plaguing his mind, and making it uneasy for him to enjoy the party in full swing behind him.

"What's up Old Man? You've got that look on your face again," I say easily, looking out the window in front of me.

"Nothin', just shit...as usual," his natural husky voice grunts, deeming his side window more interesting than the person on the opposite side, trying to ease his mind.

"Well if it's nothin' then why are you acting like a stubborn asshole? C'mon Barn, I've known ya' long enough now to know your thinkin' of something," I muse, trying to coax him into letting go and confiding in me.

Sighing, he turns his head to the front, gazing out into the blank space, mumbling, "Are ya' int' me Kid?"

Taken aback, I blush furiously, now being the one avoiding eye contact and looking out the side window. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm asking because I've seen the way you look at me. It makes me think things, messes with my mind...makes me hope," he almost whispers the last bit, just barely catching my line of hearing.

I can't help but gasp lightly, noticing the alarm in his features as he'd hoped I didn't hear the ass-end of the sentence at all. He's into me. And I'm into him. This shit's nuts.

With little confidence, I turn my whole body in his direction, the same as he had. I take on of his hands, bundled together as he had been anxiously cracking them, playing with his fingers and marveling at how small mine are in comparison.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm into you, and I've thought everything over, trust me. Your age doesn't bother a thing at all, I never really minded it honestly. I just want you," I say, forcing myself to meet his gaze with every word, wanting him to know the sheer weight and sincerity behind them.

He's the one to take a sharp gasp now, not expecting the answer I'd given to him just now. His eyes skim my face and features admiringly, never in a million years seeing himself right here, right now.

"Well good. 'Cause I feel the same and it'd be a damn shame if this shit was one-sided," he teases lightly, pulling my chin upwards to meet his gaze once more.

Giggling, I indulge in the moment as I press my lips to his lightly, sealing the bond we've longed to share. Him quickly deepening it, pulling me as close as possible, my body straddling his waist now. I moan out a feeling pleasure as he bites lightly on my lower lip, teeth clashing.

We quickly break apart, however, as Christmas screeches like a little girl, running back to the group, yelling something like, "Guys! They're together!" Followed by laughter and cheers as Barney and I, now greatly embarrassed, shuffle into the doorway, some of my lipstick smearing both of our faces.

Barney quickly recovers, "What? Why you all starin' like you haven't seen two people together before? You guys are children, I swear," he muses lightly.

Giggling flow in the room once more, Caesar motioning to his lips, Barney following suit and looking at his fingers. The red shade coating the pads. He's the one laughing now, looking at my smeared complexion, his fingers, and his own face as Toll tosses him a small, hand-held mirror.

"Fuck you," is all Barney says, laughter flooding his very being, now contagious as I have to give in as well, knowing we've been caught.

All I do is give the group the bird playfully, leading Barney back into the cockpit, locking the door behind us. "So, where were we?"

[star-going-supernova]

So. Madison Russell. Godzilla vs Kong. Welcome to my ted talk.

From a writing perspective, they totally wasted her character. She, Josh, and Bernie were almost exclusively used just as a method of showing the audience what was happening "behind the scenes" at Apex. Pouring the whiskey on the computer was about the only thing of note they did, and even that didn't do much. Mechagodzilla was only slightly hindered by it, and if they'd just written Kong and Godzilla differently in the fight scene, they could have skipped the whiskey part entirely. They could have done so much with having people "on the inside" but Monarch as a greater organization barely had any presence at all, which negated the need to have people on the inside. 

Maddie's steadfast insistence that Godzilla wasn't a bad guy at the beginning had so much potential, but it became the conspiracy thing instead. It felt less like she wanted to prove Godzilla wasn't turning against humans, and more like she and her new conspiracy friend wanted to crack open a shady organization, which was frustrating. If they wanted to depict her as someone who was forced to become competent at a young age, which was part of the serious, intense vibe I got from her, instead of the inexplicable personality shift, they should have showed her doing something to help. Getting in contact with her dad/Monarch, giving them evidence to begin a city wide evacuation outside the Apex Hong Kong HQ, messing something up or making it harder for the Apex people to get Mechagodzilla up and running—just, anything. 

The fact is, we had Maddie being very proactive in KotM. Stealing the ORCA was the game changer. Instead of taking that to the next level in GvK and giving her an opportunity to continue that aspect of her character—that is, being someone who refuses to sit by when she can do something to help, even if it’s dangerous—they rendered her obsolete. 

The movie wouldn't have significantly changed if you took her character out. If Bernie went by himself and ended up in Hong Kong, nothing would have changed, because Maddie didn't do anything of personal importance. She went from being an active character in KotM to being a passive one here, which are a pet peeve of mine. If you saw my post about what I liked and didn’t like about Godzilla (2014), that might sound very familiar.

It would also have made so much more sense if she developed a love for studying Titans instead of focusing on conspiracy theories. Plot-wise, it would have given her claim to her dad that Godzilla was being provoked more credence, and could’ve opened an interesting dialogue between them to reinforce that she knows what she’s talking about. Monarch was obviously still a big part of their lives, given that Mark had rejoined, so it would’ve been the perfect opportunity for Maddie to pursue a Titan-related future. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved Jia, and wouldn’t want to take her out of the movie or even diminish her presence in it. In fact, I think they should have focused on Jia, and only on Jia. 

Hear me out: Godzilla vs Kong should’ve been split in two. A Part 1 and Part 2 situation. 

For Part 1, we keep a lot of the GvK canon, especially the Kong-centric stuff. Include even more scenes showing us that he’s protective of Jia, don’t just have Dr. Andrews say that he is. Have him defend her from something dangerous, maybe even from some humans. Include their backstory, how he saved her during the storm. And start it even earlier, before Godzilla attacks Apex the first time. Keep the whole Hollow Earth plot, keep the fight scene in the ocean, keep the discovery of the temple and the axe.

And on the Godzilla side of things, start earlier on that as well. Keep the other Titans in, have humanity tentatively believing that a time of great peace is upon them. Their mere presence is restoring the planet. There was an emphasis of nature, particularly in relation to the Titans, in KotM that I really think they should have included more of in GvK to better tie the two movies together, if only they hadn’t swept all the other Titans under the rug. They wanted a movie about a fight, not about the Titans. So, undo that. Show us a little of what Mark does, do a sweep of the other KotM cast (cameos at the very least) to show how they and Monarch are working to uphold that peace post-Boston. I’d also have loved to see Boston itself, too, five years later. 

Instead of giving us a Generic High School scene, show Maddie learning about the Titans alongside the experts. Bring back the wonder and amazement she had when she saw Mothra for the first time, when she reached out and touched her. She’s second generation Monarch, make that mean something. When Maddie took the ORCA to Boston, she had a conviction. She couldn’t not have. She was there in part to lure Ghidorah in, but I can’t even pretend to believe her plan ended with that. She knew Godzilla would come. 

That sort of belief is hard to kill, and if death via Ghidorah wasn’t enough to scare her off, no way anything else in those five years afterwards did. Her belief that Godzilla is good survived to GvK, and should’ve been a main focal point of her character. Godzilla attacks Apex—she and every other Monarch person who has spent years studying the Titans knows something is up. 

Keep Mark’s character development regarding his opinions on Godzilla. He believes Maddie when she says something has to be wrong, not just because he trusts his daughter, but because he looked into Godzilla’s eyes and saw more than just an animal. 

They’re in Part 1 only minimally, just to establish their presence and how they feel about Godzilla destroying Apex. The focus is clearly on Jia and Kong’s side of events. 

Sorry, but I’m leaving Josh out and seriously dialing back Bernie’s role. Instead, the character we follow inside Apex is Ren Serizawa. We see his motivations, his ambitions, and he becomes a character with more than just a few lines. Does he resent Godzilla? Or does he resent his father, too? Serizawa’s sacrifice was willing, after all. He was no accidental casualty. 

Part 1 ends in the Hollow Earth, with Ghidorah taking control of Mechagodzilla on the surface. Alter the timeline just enough so that Godzilla has only just arrived to Hong Kong, and Kong’s still in the Hollow Earth. The final scene is Mechagodzilla emerging into the city as the sun rises. The post-credits scene is our KotM cast in the Argo, location unknown, watching a screen with Mechagodzilla on it. 

Part 2 begins with a reveal: Ren Serizawa isn’t dead. 

Backtrack. This part focuses more on the Godzilla side, and Monarch. It’ll have flashback scenes from the five years between KotM and now, showing exactly why Monarch as a whole firmly believes Godzilla is reacting to something instead of being anti-human all of a sudden. The Titans are not inherently malicious; destruction is a side effect of their size, no more, no less. He earned his title of King in KotM—make it mean more than just trying to make Kong “bow.” Make him a protector, a guardian. He’s nature’s balance. By definition, he must protect humans as well. 

What Monarch needs to figure out is this: what is he trying to protect them from? 

They investigate Apex in search of the answer, but knowing from past experience the sort of things Godzilla gets proactive about—the MUTOs, Ghidorah—Monarch mobilizes. They prepare for another fight, at Mark’s instructions. He witnessed both San Francisco and Boston firsthand, even if the former was from a civilian standpoint. 

Godzilla has more hunt scenes. He targets a second Apex lab after his ocean fight with Kong, telling Monarch that they’re on the right track. 

Maddie, being a minor and not dragged into the thick of things (yet), has to stay home. Remembering the podcast she sometimes listened to, when the topic was focused on the Titans, she tracks Bernie down, and he tells her about what he saw: the eye. 

The two of them go to the ruined Apex building and discover the eye is gone before getting caught. With Monarch currently breathing down their necks, they recognize Maddie to be Mark’s daughter and take her to Hong Kong. Sorry, Bernie, but that’s mostly as far as you’re involved. Timeline-wise, this is roughly when Kong puts the axe in the temple floor and Godzilla blasts a hole to the center of the earth. Monarch is following Godzilla, but they’re behind a bit thanks to the tunnel shortcuts. They’re still unaware that Maddie has been kidnapped and is en route to Hong Kong.

This is also when Mechagodzilla gains a life of its own. Walter Simmons is killed and Ren Serizawa becomes trapped in the link to Mechagodzilla, serving as the bridge between the robot and Ghidorah’s mind. Ghidorah is essentially controlling MG by controlling Ren, who is controlling MG. Make sense? He’s the puppeteer’s puppeteer. 

We reverse some things. Godzilla fights MG first, gets beat around but not as much as in GvK because he isn’t fresh out of a different fight. Kong returns to the surface through the tunnel Godzilla created, having carried the one remaining HEAV out himself, because Nathan Lind has never flown one before and doesn’t know how they work. Kong wants to protect Jia, and Ilene Andrews and Nathan Lind are very lucky that Jia likes them. 

Mechagodzilla sees Kong and takes off, and Kong decides now would be a great time to fight Godzilla, who’s having a pretty bad day. Monarch arrives, and half of them split off to follow MG while the rest stay to try and deescalate the situation. Other than Godzilla faring slightly less well, the fight goes mostly the same as in the movie, except for one big difference: one of the Monarch crafts pick up Jia and Co, and she’s able to get Kong’s attention from the back of an Osprey well enough to tell him to stop fighting. There’s a bigger threat out there, and Godzilla definitely needs to be okay enough to fight it. Either they work together, or they reschedule. 

She’s very stern about it, and though no one’s really sure what the two Titans decide on, they stop fighting. They leave together to go after Mechagodzilla, who is currently being slowed down by Mothra, because she deserves to be in this movie. The other Titans basically hinder Mechagodzilla as much as possible as it rampages, telling Godzilla where it is. Monarch finally figures out that it’s heading for the nearest entrance to the Hollow Earth, right around when they also figure out that Ghidorah is involved. With Dr. Andrews and Nathan Lind’s input, they theorize it intends to take more of the power source down there to further strengthen it. 

They do their best to clear the cities in its path, evacuating as many people as possible. It’s all they can do. As in the past, they must trust Godzilla to do the heavy lifting. Around the same time, an assistant tells Mark that some guy named Bernie called and is asking for him. This is how he finds out Maddie was taken to Apex’s Hong Kong location.

Meanwhile, the Apex guards and Maddie finally arrive to find the facility abandoned and damaged, MG gone, and Simmons dead. The guards more or less split, leaving her there alone. Maddie, being Maddie, goes deeper until she finally discovers Ghidorah’s skull and Ren Serizawa inside, trapped in his own head with Ghidorah. It’s killing him. 

He’s aware enough to have a conversation with her. They argue about the Titans. He wants Godzilla destroyed out of anger over his father’s preference for Titans, rather than his own son. 

(“You’re not the only one with ghosts!” she yells at him. “You’re not the only one who resents a parent for putting Titans ahead of you when you needed them!” He chokes out, “I do not resent my father—” “Coulda fooled me. Why else would you be spitting on his sacrifice like this? Who are you trying to help, huh? All the other kids out there who are losing their moms and dads because you let Ghidorah out? Sorry, mister, but the last time someone did that, your dad paid the price.”) 

Ren is getting worse. He’s going to die if he stays in the link much longer, but he can’t disconnect. Maddie, looking around, gets to work on something. The camera slowly pans around to show that there’s a second pilot seat, back-to-back with Ren’s. It would allow for seamless switching between pilots without MG ever not having someone at the controls. 

Even with the other Titans’ help, Godzilla and Kong are unable to stop MG from going through the tunnel and into the Hollow Earth. Monarch is unable to follow, because of the gravity issue. They’re both tired from the journey and their fight, especially Godzilla. This is their last chance. If Mechagodzilla reaches the power source, it’s all over. 

The fight doesn’t go in their favor. They’re both bad at working together, so their attacks are uncoordinated at best, actively hindering each other at worst. Kong gets flung off a mountain and MG pins Godzilla. Even thought he caught himself, Kong isn’t going to make it up in time to help him. 

Maddie puts on an identical pilot setup, and with Ren’s instructions, switches the link over to herself, freeing Ren. He collapses forward, immediately falling unconscious from the release of the strain. Fighting past the pain and overwhelming presence suddenly in her head, Maddie does what she does best: she causes Ghidorah problems. 

She screams, and it echoes like a roar through his skull. 

In the Hollow Earth, Mechagodzilla stumbles. 

It’s the beginning of the end. She can’t control it or even really stop Ghidorah, but she gets in his way as much as possible, giving Godzilla and Kong the edge they need to finally get their act together and use some teamwork to take Mechagodzilla down. They destroy it and return to the surface before parting on amicable terms. 

After too long, Mark arrives at Apex with a whole team of people. Ren Serizawa is found comatose but alive, and he’s quickly removed for medical attention. Though Maddie’s also alive, there’s something else clearly wrong. She’s still wired into the piloting gear, stiff and unseeing, as if she’s frozen. Her eyes are open but distant, pupils virtually gone from how constricted they are, and her jaw hangs open slightly. Despite how tense her body is, she’s limp. Nothing they do wakes her up, even after getting her out of the skull. 

They wheel her out on a gurney to where a handful of Ospreys landed, but as they leave the building and step out onto the roof, they find Godzilla has returned. He watches them, and he’s exactly as aware as Mark remembers. 

(“She tried to help you,” Mark calls out to him. No one knows exactly what happened in the Hollow Earth, during the fight, but the scene in Ghidorah’s skull was telling. “No, she—she did help you!” For the second time in her life, Maddie put herself in Ghidorah’s path and, ultimately, won. Only this time, her victory came with a price.) 

Godzilla snorts before leaning over the roof’s railing, moving toward the gurney. The humans all back away, even Mark, though he doesn’t go far. Spines humming, eyes flaring blue, Godzilla rumbles deeply. 

On the gurney, Maddie stirs. 

Later, much later, after Maddie and Jia have met—heaven help everyone else, honestly—they sit together on the edge of a pier over the ocean, Jia leaning comfortably against Maddie. It’s quiet. They’re alone, watching the sunset. A heavy footfall behind them, the feel of the vibration trembling through the wood, makes them turn around. Half concealed in the brush at the edge of the island’s foliage, Kong stands, facing them. 

They both wave before standing. They sign goodbye to each other, then part ways. As Maddie walks away to a waiting Osprey, we see behind her as Kong crouches to allow Jia to climb into his palm before vanishing into the forest. 

The Osprey takes off over the calm ocean. It has a different design than most, with a large door set in the side instead of at the back, more like an ordinary helicopter. It’s open as they go, Maddie secure inside as she stares out. A smile spreads across her face as jagged spines slowly breach the ocean’s surface, easily keeping pace with the Osprey, which lowers to be closer to the water.

For just a moment, in the fading light, Maddie’s eyes almost shine blue. The screen goes black to the sound of Godzilla’s roar.

[3pirouette]

Fic: Hello, Darling (1/1)

Title: Hello, Darling By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Disclaimer: They're not mine. Distribution: AO3  Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary:  Instead, he reached for his phone. He hit the only button that seemed to matter at the moment.

Her voice was warm. “Hello, darling.”

“Peg,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Oh, your voice is just what I needed.”

Angst. Satisfies the Fake Dating a square for the Steggy Bingo Bash. AU, obviously.

A/N: Timeline is as close to sort-of right as I can make it for an AU. 2017 is post Civil War, 2016 is during Civil War, 2014 is during AOU, other time stamps should be self-explanatory. I hope this makes as much sense for everyone else as it does to me- this concept was a little hard to get on paper. I wrote this in about... 2 hours? Couldn’t sleep until I got this out of my brain. Also, I’m sorry. Please get some tissues. More AN at the end.

~*~ 2017

Steve flopped on the bed, wiping his forehead. They’d been training, hard, and he was drained. He and Natasha were spending their days whipping the new iteration of the team into shape and spent their nights sweet talking whatever government officials would listen to them while still trying to stay off the grid.

Their position in multiple areas was shaky, to say the least.

When he couldn’t sleep, which was most of the time, he wrote letters to Bucky, who was still in stasis in Wakanda. The letter writing was a calming ritual, and made him feel closer to his friend when he was doing it, but when he saved the letter instead of sending it, it left him feeling a little more alone than when he started.

He didn’t want to move tonight. He felt empty and exhausted and so very, very much like the small man he used to be on the rickety old bed.

He looked at the second-hand laptop, closed and charging on his desk, and turned away. He couldn’t take that feeling tonight.

Instead, he reached for his phone. He hit the only button that seemed to matter at the moment.

Her voice was warm. “Hello, darling.”

“Peg,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Oh, your voice is just what I needed.”

Her voice was warm, and there was a smile in it. “Well, I’m just a phone call away, as always.”

“Yeah,” he replied, just a hint of sadness seeping through. He took a deep breath and shifted up on the pillows, closing his eyes and holding the phone tighter to his ear. “We were training again today.”

“How are they pulling together?” She asked, bright and interested. “Has Wanda gained more control?”

“Every day,” he replied quickly, a smile quirking at his face. “She’s more powerful than I think any of us were prepared for, even her. She’s still doubting herself, though.”

Peggy chuckled through the phone. “After what she went through, I’d doubt myself if I were her, too.”

Steve rolled to the side, pulling a pillow tight into his arms. “True.”

“Give her time,” Peggy soothed him. “Think about how long it took you to get the hang of your new body.”

He laughed out loud at that. “What, all thirty seconds or so?”

“I seem to recall you crashing through a store’s front window display fairly immediately.” Her laugh was like bells, light and happy. “Though that was followed by months of tests, followed by months of kick lines.”

Steve groaned at the memories. “The tights… and those boots.”

“I rather liked the tights,” Peggy flirted. “Though, the point of my mentioning, is that it took you rather a few months in the field to figure out you could lift a tank, and that became one of your favorite tricks. Give the poor girl some slack.”

“Actually, fitting my entire body behind my shield was one of my favorites.”

“I still don’t know how you do that.” She sighed. “But it is quite a trick.”

“She is getting the hang of it,” Steve relented. “It’s just been… hard.”

“I can hear the weariness in your voice.” She was soft and gentle. Steve closed his eyes and pretended he was wrapping himself around her. “Have you been taking care of yourself?” She sighed when he didn’t answer. “Steve…”

“I don’t know how…” he drifted off, changing course mid-sentence. “I’m tired, Peg. I’m tired of fighting and running but that’s… that’s all that’s left.” He rolled to his back, throwing his free arm over his head, some of the plaster of the wall of the old boarding house falling on his forehead. He wiped it away with a heavy groan of frustration. “Back then, I had so many plans. After the war…”

“We shan’t be going there, darling.” Her voice left no room for argument.

He was quiet for a moment, the emotion boiling up in him. When he finally spoke, his words were soft. “I miss you. I miss you so, so much.”

The pause was almost too long, and it broke him just a little bit more. “I’m here, Steve. Only a phone call away.”

He sat up, frustrated. “For a little while I had it- I had everything. I had you, I had Buck, I had new friends, and I could… I was…”

“You were almost happy,” she whispered. “We’ve said these words too many times.”

“I don’t…” He took a deep breath and let his head fall to his hand. “I don’t know how to move past it. I can pretend I’m ok, but… but I’m not.” He laughed to himself. “I wouldn’t be calling you if I were ok.”

“I’m here for you, Steve,” she replied sharply. “You call me when you need to call me, when you want to call me. Good or bad. I just wish… I wish there was more good.”

“Me, too.” He cleared his throat, sitting up. “Tell me something good, Peg.”

He thought he could hear a smile in her voice. “Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, eh, Rogers? Well, then, I can tell you that yesterday I came across a very silly video of a sneezing baby Panda and no matter what your mood, I promise you’ll feel better if you watch it.”

He pulled the phone away from his cheek when it vibrated in his hand, the video popping up on his screen. He laughed, despite himself.

“You always know exactly what I need,” he mumbled out loud.

Her chuckle was soft, just like he remembered. “Lucky, I guess.”

“I love you so, so much, Peg.” He turned serious. “I wish… I wish I could see you.”

“I love you, too, my darling.” She replied softly. “And I’m only ever just a phone call away.”

He could feel the familiar pangs of depression swirling, and knew talking longer would do him no good. Not tonight. “I should… I should go.”

“Good night then, my love.” Peggy’s words were so full of love he could scarcely believe it. “Don’t wait too long to call again.”

He didn’t answer her, just nodded to himself. “Good night, Peg.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear, looked at it, and tossed it across the bed. Like his letters to Bucky, sometimes he felt worse after talking with her. He laid back on the bed, the springs creaking under him.

He wasn’t going to sleep tonight, not with the way his gut was roiling and the loss so close to the surface. Her voice was always a double-edged sword. Some nights, it was enough to bring him back to life, to remind him of whatever little purpose he felt he had left.

Sometimes, it was only filled with loss and the could-have-beens and should-have-beens.

Sometimes, he wished Tony had never given her back to him.

~*~ 1988

“Anthony, get this blasted thing out of my face.”

“Come on, Aunt Peg, no one is better at telling me what to do than you are.”

Peggy looked up from where she sat at the table in what was supposed to be a dining room, but was often used as an extended work space when Peggy and Howard had to pull long nights. “Under no circumstances.”

Tony pulled a chair up next to her and held out the tape recorder towards her. “Under all circumstances.” He started ticking it off on his fingers. “When I almost blew up the garage when I was eight. First time I got caught with a girl in my room. First time I got caught with booze in my room. First time I tried to create a jet pack. Who yelled at me? You did.”

Peggy pursed her lips at him and turned in her chair. “Concerned correction.”

He smiled, shrugging. “See? Concern, correction… all things I’m going to need in the future.”

Peggy swiveled back and picked up a file, eyes firmly set on the writing though she wasn’t reading anything. “Things you need now.” She didn’t look up. “Can’t you go badger Jarvis? Edwin has far more practice at humoring you.”

He laughed and smiled sweetly, moving the tape recorder in front of her. “Indulge your Godson in an experiment?”

“I seem to indulge you Starks far more than I’d like.” She leaned back in the chair and tossed the file back on the table. “Tell me about it.”

“Well, you see, I actually need you to tell me…”

~*~ 2014

Tony hadn’t looked at these cartridges in years. He pulled FRIDAY up and loaded her, knowing the program would make do for now. He could make some upgrades, and mourn Jarvis, later.

He ran his fingers over the last few cartridges as FRIDAY was integrated into his systems and found one that he hadn’t thought about in decades. It had been so long that the ink was almost faded completely away.

He didn’t need the label to remind him what was on there. He remembered each story, each lesson, each crisp English word with a sharpness that he liked to pretend didn’t exist. It was the only AI that was as old as Jarvis.

Tony laughed out loud. There was no way Ultron would have come to be if this was the AI he’d chosen to run his life with instead of Jarvis. She never would have allowed it.

She never would have allowed half of his shenanigans. She had been right all those years ago: Jarvis had always indulged him more. Aunt Peggy had no qualms about telling him, and often stopping him, when he was about to do something stupid, whereas Jarvis would give him an exasperated sir and follow behind, helping to clean up the mess.

He could have used some of her guidance so, so many times since he built that armor. Before, too, to be honest. He should have revisited her AI years ago.

He should visit her in the nursing home.

He knew exactly why he didn’t.  

He flipped the cartridge onto his work desk and slid the rest back into their box to be stored. Save the world first, tongue lashing from his Godmother second.

~*~ 2015

The icon showed up on his phone one day without explanation. Two hours later the text from Tony was nearly as mysterious.

Click the icon and you’ll be routed to an update on an old project, kind of like a phone call. Totally sanctioned, of course. I think she’ll get a kick out of it.

When he told her one day in the nursing home, she laughed.

“That boy had me record hours and hours of tape,” Peggy smiled. “I wondered if he ever got around to making it. I would have rather liked to have another one of myself around while I was still running SHIELD.”

“So, you did know,” Steve asked, “that Tony made an AI of you?”

Peggy looked at him, her eyes sharp and disapproving. “Of course, I knew. And while I didn’t ever say it, I was quite insulted that he eventually chose Jarvis over me.” She sat up in her hospital bed, gray hair falling in waves around her face. “Dial it up, let’s see what he got right, shall we?”

~*~ 2016

He was still in his suit and tie, his cheeks puffy with the tears he only let himself shed in the privacy of his hotel room. The church had been hard, but letting the coffin settle into the cold dirt had been harder.

She was gone.

And he was alone.

He picked up his phone, intent on checking his flight for the morning when an icon he scrolled past daily caught his eye.

He rubbed his thumb over the edge of the screen, temped.

He checked his flight, but it was perfunctory and he couldn’t recall, by the time his thumb hit the other icon, if it was still on time or not.

Slowly he lifted the phone to his ear. He knew from the few times he’d called at the nursing home with her that there wouldn’t be a ring tone, and that he had to be the first one to talk. “Hello?”

“Steve?”

Her voice through the line was young and vibrant, the way her remembered it from all those years back: red rimmed lips and bright eyes in just the vibration of sound.

He lost his breath.

“I’m so glad you called,” her voice was happy, bright.

He’d just left her in the ground, and yet…

Yet…

“Peggy.” He barely got the word out, the emotion choking him.

“Are you alright, Steve?”

“No, I…” he couldn’t speak. He didn’t want to continue, but couldn’t tear himself away.

“I’m right here, Steve.” Her voice was warm and welcoming, like honey and home and everything he was missing. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

He was quiet for a moment. He contemplated hanging up and deleting the icon.

Instead, he spoke, his words broken and full of loss. “I miss you.”

Her voice wrapped around him through the phone, “And I miss you, darling. But I’m right here. I’m just a phone call away, any time you like.”

He nearly laughed the way her words warmed him. She was so real- had always been every time he talked to the AI.

But she wasn’t real- just an amalgamation of information Tony had stored for decades.

He held the phone away for a second, contemplating his choices. He wanted to walk away, but the loss was still so raw. He pulled the phone back to his ear.

Just for today.

He told himself he’d pretend just for today.

Over the phone, he could pretend she wasn’t dead. Could pretend she hadn’t aged and lived on without him.

Just for today, just until he could get past this pain, he could pretend.

“I guess,” he cleared his throat, trying to banish the thickness in it from the tears, “I guess I should call more often, then.”

“Absolutely. I will accept nothing less, Captain.”

He smiled and sat on the bed, tears falling from his eyes as he listened to her voice.

It was just for today.  

~*~ End Notes: Saved this to the end to avoid giving this away. Deeply inspired by Hayley Atwell’s episode of Black Mirror, “Be Right Back.” If you haven’t seen it, you should.

[igarbagecannoteven]

hi megs! i would like to know top 5 5sos live performances and also top 5 songs that came out last year! -taylor<3

hi taylor! lovely to have you here! you picked some hard but good ones!

top 5 5sos live performances: so i'm going to preface this by saying i don't actually really watch a lot of live performance videos so my knowledge is limited (also these won't be in any order sorry)

the mijito rico moment in their santiago chile show!! so so endearing and makes my heart melt :)) this video shows the whole thing (plus what i like about you) and this one's shorter but from a better angle so best of both worlds! i would commit major crimes for luke in this probably felonies

am i allowed to say the performance for the live mytt album? i would not be able to match any videos to it lol but i love listening to it so much so i'm counting it

gotta be their cover of teenage dream live at siriusxm i have watched it,, an embarrassing amount of times kjflksdj i tried learning to make gifs for this video (how many seconds are they supposed to even be?) they're very cute and they sound *chef's kiss* and don't even get me STARTED on michael's bridge it's just. i just. it sounds so. hrghhhhh (it starts at 2:21 if you want some maximum damage)

the phoenix show in november 2014 i've seen some great videos from it (wrapped around your finger anyone?) there's classic red-haired michael, quiff luke, blonde streak calum, ashton in a tank top, x's galore,,, it just feels like a good snapshot of 2014 5sos which i appreciate especially as someone who wasn't in the fandom at the time

okay so full disclosure i have not seen all of this i've been saving it for emergency purposes however! their 2017 moscow show's luke *is* the luke from the fic i've been working on for over a year now so it's gotta have a mention (plus what i have seen has been good!!) bc every time i see a clip or a gif from it i'm like "that's my boy!! my son!!!" so. there you go sdlkfjsdkljflsjd

top 5 songs that came out last year: another one needing a disclosure but i don't always pay attention to what year a song comes out so i'm almost definitely missing some good ones here sorry lol

i miss 2003 by as it is is just soooo mmmmmmm i want to eat it and while admiring all the puns & references

2011 by 5sos i mean was i supposed to not include this one?? fun fact it's siblings with i miss 2003 they are best friends and are in the same color palette but aren't the same color. also i looped this while writing the final submission for my creative writing class and it's the only reason i got it in on time (it was still bad but necessarily so if that makes sense)

gosh what else came out in 2021 oh! waterparks new album! numb by waterparks is not only a great song but i also got to jam to it when my hair was green (there's a lyric about having green hair) which is always neat (and when my hair is inevitably green again i'll get to jam to it again!)

stop the presses!! i just remembered ok orchestra came out in 2021 this changes the whole game! okay well then first off humpty dumpty by ajr is just *chef's kiss* not just as a song but as an ~experience~ when you blast it with the windows down and scream along to the one line you know the one honestly you don't even have to be in a car it's just great

way less sad by ajr is one of those songs that i wish i could pass through time to one of my past selves. fall 2020 megs needed this song and didn't get it so i have to enjoy it for her and send my love down the wire to her every time i hear it

ask me about my top 5 whatevers!

[soulwillower]

long way home • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested:  please please please do a richie x reader about long way home by 5sos

warnings: nothing really, some mentions of canonic trauma but its really vague and underaged drinking

i was happy to write this bc it def got me out of my slump! lmk if yall want more fics

(also i loved 5sos so much back when the self titled album came out in like 2014. i was such a huge fan in middle school so this was so nostalgic to write!!) 

[reader + losers are in their first year of college, set around early summer 1995.]

2.9k words

♡

"i don't really know what else to do. we have an hour and a half until we meet everyone." you say, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen upon the car after bev had climbed out the back. you hum, settling back against the passenger seat, head lulling to meet richie's gaze.

 you can't help but smile. he's looking at you - just staring, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. he hums, too, turning his head, arm grabbing the shoulder of your seat as he backs up the car. "i have an idea. let's just go - what?" he asks, smiling with a chuckle as he catches you staring at him.

you blink as you flush, "i don't know. just really missed you." you say with a laugh, shaking your head as memories flood your mind. his face flickers for a second and he shakes his head, hair bouncing slightly in his flattery. "gee, i missed you too. it kinda sucks that we all went to opposite sides of the country." 

you blow air from your lips gently in agreement as richie starts to drive somewhere east. "yeah. not seeing you for six months is, surprisingly, pretty shitty." you say, causing richie to snort. "you could barely handle it." he says, hand shifting gears as he stops at a stop sign. 

you roll your eyes, but you don't tell him the truth: he's right. "let me tell you, when i got the bear last, i sure wanted to forget all about you." you say, kicking your feet up on his dash. 

you and the other losers all split ways after graduation. of course, you all still kept in touch with phone calls, letters, and that of the sort. but you all had found a favorite way to all still feel close together: a toy canvas bear bev found that you all signed and drew on, shipping it around the country and letting it stay with each person for a week. 

you'd all been printing photographs of the bear with yourselves at various places around all your campuses and sending them along with the bear as little post cards. the most recent from richie had the tattooed-bear propped next to him at a party, smirking with the bear in a vulgar position that had made you roll your eyes so hard you almost got a headache.

 that was in april, and you spent the month and a half after that missing richie and your other dumbass friends so much it hurt. 

richie smiles, "oh, yeah. that bear had some fun times with us up in the ol' N-Y-C."  "-don't call it that."  "-anyways, i did miss you guys, i wish you could meet my roommate, charlie, he's a hoot. i almost wanted to stay up there and have you come to me, y'know?"  you nod, all too familiar with that feeling. "yeah, i wanted to do that too. there was some kind of-" you stop, frowning. do you really want to admit this to anyone? will they think it's weird? but then you remember it's richie. "-i don't know, some kind of dread i felt at having to come back here." 

it's quiet for a second, and you think you said something wrong, but richie's knuckles tighten slightly and he nods, "me too. i have...bad feelings from this place. i didn't want to say anything, but- i don't know. i feel like something's..." but the thought seems to swim away from his voice, getting lost in the dredges of his brain.  

and then as if on cue, the old car bumps its way over a speedbump and you cross past old neibolt street near the tracks. 

 a sick shiver runs down your spine as your eyes fall on the long road, fading away and extending as far as your eye can see...almost into a foggy dark haze, the train tracks running parallel making you feel desolate. 

clouds suddenly move to cover the sun in the sky and you feel cold - you feel like something happened here, something important - but you have no idea. it makes you anxious, so you just swallow, saying nothing and instead looking ahead. richie does the same, and his knuckles are pale against the wheel. 

"the only reason i came back was so i could see everyone." you say. it's quiet, but you know richie's agreeing with you. 

the car rumbles on, eventually pulling past your old high school. you perk up, pointing to the glass and laughing. "wow, look at that shithole." 

"swore we'd never go back there, didn't we? when we left?" richie says, amusement lacing his tone. you're clearly both relieved to have changed the subject, and you nod, chewing your lip. "yeah. you know, i know it was really terrible and stuff, but i have some pretty fond memories from that place." 

humming, richie nods and slowly pulls into the parking lot. “remember those days?” he says, “kickin back in the ol’ schoolyard during lunch.” 

you do remember those hot days, richie, bill and bev smoking cigs while you and eddie play a game of marbles or scramble to copy richie’s math homework. ben reading a book, mike eating stan’s sandwich. the heat barreling down on the eight of you... 

he stops the car next to the football field and you snort slightly at its misery in the dying purple and blue of the summer twilight. "remember those bonfires that were always over in the woods right there?" he points a chipped nail towards the dense trees on the other side of the field, and you can see it. 

the crackling of the wood, the orange glow reflecting the light strands of stan’s dark curls. there’s a sea of students from your class and the class above, everyone rowdy with drunken fun. there’s laughter drowned out by the boombox placed on the outskirts, blasting a salt-n-peppa song that has eddie bouncing around with some kids from track. over to the side, you can nearly see bev's lips curl around a note as richie strums on someone else's guitar, putting together some surprisingly pleasant chords while mike throws twigs into the fire, singing softly with richie and bev. 

you can almost smell the smoky hot air from those nights and you remember the odd sensation of feeling invincible back in those days, when your greatest fear was nothing more than coming across your parents when you were too hungover to remember anything the next morning. 

it’s almost melancholic, the realization that you’ll never have those years again. you’ll never have your friend group in the same way as you did in high school, and it was barely over a year ago. it hurts a bit, until you realize you’re here, in the car with richie. 

but still, despite the feeling, you grin. “why did we think it was a good idea to party so close to the school?” 

richie chuckles, “it was safer. for some reason.” 

it makes you smile, "i wonder if those pabst cans are still hidden in all those hollow logs." you muse, a gentle smile splaying over your lips. richie huffs a small laugh at the memory of jorge garcia drunkenly stuffing the empty beer cans quickly into the log when the cops came. 

a car pulls into the vacant lot behind you, and richie takes the liberty of driving away again, still not really sure where you're going. 

the trees roll past, and soon you're passing through the downtown section of derry, causing the two of you to fall silent as your eyes flick up and down the nearly desloate streets. the aladdin passes by quickly and you remember going to see so many films with the others for less than five bucks a pop, richie slipping an arm around your shoulders and whispering in your ear about the weird worker who always gave you the eyes. 

you smile lightly as your eyes fall to look ahead, passing the corner store. you remember how many times you and richie and stan stopped there after classes or during lunch to grab slushes while the workers weren’t looking. you remember the sticky fingers and bright blue tongues. 

then as you stare more at the ugly front of the store, memories from middle school scratch the surface of your brain. "didn't the boys..." you say, perking up as you turn and watch it pass, richie looking at you attentively. "-eyes on the road, rich." you say absent-mindedly, "...didn't they... steal stuff from there? i can't remember why... it was for ben. tissues?" you ask, tilting your head. richie's brows furrow. "i had to stay outside with him, all i remember is bein' pissed i couldn't go in. dunno why, though." he mutters. you hum, sinking back in your seat. 

"crazy, how quickly you forget your childhood." he says quietly. 

the town slowly fades away before your eyes, and its just then that you realize you're going the opposite way from bill's. then it's plain grassland and marshes, dipping into the barrens. your lips twitch and the silence, while pleasant, makes you feel nervous. 

you look to richie, all nervous slowly releasing from your body. 

you feel stupid for thinking it, and you don't dare say it, but there's something really sweet about being in the middle of nowhere with him. 

you feel like driving along this ugly, terrible road on the outskirts of a truly ugly and terrible town with someone as beautiful and captivating as richie is such an important moment; as if the roads along here are a place only you and richie share to yourselves. 

"i kind of like taking the long way home with you." you let slip instead, instantly feeling hot and panicked as the words leave your mouth. "y-you know, because i just really didn't want to- er, i don't like being-" 

as you stutter out some excuses, he leans forward towards the wheel, face turning to you with a smirk. "oh?" he asks. you feel flustered, your hands sweating and heart tingling as you stare at his handsome face. 

"god, sorry." you say, feeling flushed, "i don't know why i keep rambling. it's so awkward." 

"y/n, you could talk about anything." he says with a laugh, and you look at him, trying to ignore the sheer zoo of animals parading around in your stomach and instead escaping this moment with a sarcastic, "even dead squirrels?" 

he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, his hair glinting in the light. "yeah, whatever baby. i just don't wanna be wasting my time alone when i could be here with you. that's what i'm trying to say." 

and the stupid pet name almost makes you snort but you also get butterflies, the words that he's said making you smile so wide you're almost embarrassed. "yeah, well." you say bashfully, "i guess spending my time with you is, like... the best part of coming back home." 

you avoid eye contact, staring out the window as you pass the house of your junior year bio partner. "hey," richie nudges your jaw and you almost jump at the feeling of his cold ring against the warmth of your skin. he speaks softly. "i'd never let you down, you know." he says, mischief in his eyes. you smile against his hand and look at him, his blue eyes warm and inviting and looking like home. 

your eyes fall back towards the windshield and you see a sign up ahead. shifting, you look at richie again to find him still staring. 

he's got such a terrible habit of watching you instead of the road (he has since high school), and that combined with his lead foot (also since high school - wentworth tozier was a menace on the streets) has you conditioned into reminding him of every obstacle that he may run into while driving. 

"stop sign, richie." you mutter, knowing in his ramble he won't notice it (it happened way too many times as high schoolers). he seems to not really hear it, and you say again, "stop sign!"

just before it's too late, the car lurches as he slams the breaks and you just barely hit the white line, your hands bracing yourself against the dashboard. "oh my god." you hiss, shaking your head. richie's laughing. 

"we've been hitting every red light. can't i just have one pass to not stop at one of these things?" richie says. you roll your eyes with a slight head shake. you can't believe him. 

"you'll be the death of me, tozier." you mutter. richie's still laughing quietly and then he takes a big sigh, hand reaching out. you lean forward, hand reaching for the volume knob on the stereo just as richie does the same, and your hands brush by accident. you feel warm and instead of pulling away, his hand covers yours and he gently turns your hands, bringing up the volume of a green day song. it's seemingly just in the background as you watch your hand in richie's, then slowly turning your gaze up to his face. 

he just stares at you as you stare back, wanting so badly to kiss him but wondering if he feels the same. 

"hey." he whispers, quiet for the first time possibly ever. "hey." you respond softly, watching as he comes a bit closer. his hand is still in yours. "i am so happy to be home. with you." he says sincerely, his eyes wide and honest behind his glasses and his smile soft.  your breath catches slightly and you smile, "me too. i always feel like this is the way it's supposed to be. u-us." 

something in richie's eyes change, a light of sort, and then he's leaning into you and you're kissing. 

his hand that isn't in yours falls to softly rub your thigh and you're taking a shuddering breath as your lips touch his. he tastes like mint chapstick and those stupid red-hots he was eating earlier, his lips slightly cold but his tongue warm as he slowly pulls you closer to him. 

your mind almost falls blank as the world melts away, the only thing in your mind is how long you've missed out on this - richie is kind of unexpectedly a fantastic kisser. you pull him closer by his hair as his tongue grazes yours, his thumb tilting your jaw for a better angle. 

but suddenly a horn honks loudly behind you and you both spring apart, your stomach panging with anxiety at the noise.

"shit." you hiss as you remember you're at a stop sign. richie snorts slightly, a smirk on his face despite the blush on his high cheekbones, feet going back to the gas pedal and clutch. his hand leaves your thigh as he drives forward and you clear your throat as the car turns behind you at the intersection, leaving you two back in the middle of nowhere with just you two. 

it's tense for a few minutes, neither of you two really talking and you can tell the tension is going to kill richie, his hand twitching on the shift and his leg bouncing. 

you break the silence after a couple more moments, "did you want to pull over-"  "-yes." he says quickly, car almost swerving as he pulls off the road near the quarry. you laugh and grip the handle of the car as you slide to a stop and he laughs too, the feeling of glee unmatchable. 

you both unclick your seatbelts after gaining a few breaths, and then you're leaning over the console to kiss richie hard enough on the lips that he falls back towards the window. he holds your face with his hands and he laughs a bit into the kiss, teeth grazing your bottom lip before tugging it. "goddamn, you're eager." he mutters into your mouth. 

you smirk, pulling back. "fine, i don't have to kiss you. we have to be at bill's soon, anyways." you say, feigning a fake dismissive voice. 

"wait, no, no. we've still got 20 minutes." richie defends after glancing at the stereo on the dash. his eyebrows raising in a plea. you giggle, leaning towards him and bringing your arm over. he's beaming as your face nears his and he moves to kiss you but you turn your head, instead letting his lips graze your neck as you lean to turn off the headlights.

"tease." richie mutters hotly against the skin of your neck before biting down softly, kissing over the skin. "i thought you said i was eager?" you say with a teasing smile. he hums, "y'know, it's pretty unfair to be teasin' me, toots. i've been eager to kiss you since we were seventeen." he says, and you can't help but smile, pulling him in to a kiss as his hands slide up your thighs and yours tangle in his messy curls.

you pull away slightly, "you want to get in the backseat?" 

taglist:  @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier​  @sft-core @clownsloveyou  @moon-shine-baby​ @trashedfortozier  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @oceandog13​ @chl0bee @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @screammin @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters @five-motherfucking-hargreeves @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter  

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[winter-soldier-vibes]

You saved me (Steve Rogers x reader)

You saved me

Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: Steve Rogers loses you (his girlfriend) in the battle of Wakanda (set in Infinity War) and mourns. Until he finds out he might be able to bring you back

Word count 2146

Warnings: spoilers for one, death/dust, mourning

A/N: THIS CONTAINS INFINITY WAR AND ENDGAME SPOILERS. Also, I know that this isn’t verbatim what happens, but I paraphrased. A lot of the battle is included here, so seriously, if you haven’t watched the movies, don’t read this quite yet. Sorry if I got something wrong. I DON’T OWN ANYTHING MARVEL the battle in Infinity War and Endgame are both mentioned and paraphrased but it is not my ideas.

-----------------------------

It had destroyed Steve so much. You were fighting with him inj Wakanda against Thanos, and had joined him to try and protect Vision and the Mind stone while Wanda was trying to destroy it before he got to it. You were a skilled fighter, and had learned from Natasha years ago. Fighting was your specialty.

You were fighting some of Thanos’ army when you heard a yell from Steve and turned around just in time to see him get punched by Thanos

“STEVE!” you yelled, running over to him. Thanos paid no attention to you, turning back to Vision. You crouched down beside him, checking to make sure he was just unconscious, not dead. You put your ear to his chest to feel his heart still beating. Thank God, you thought. 

You tried waking him up, slapping his face gently. “Come on, Steve. They still need us Cap…” you said. You took a breath before giving him a hard slap across the face.

His eyes opened and he made a move to defend himself. “Hey hey hey, Steve, it’s me, it’s y/n. I’m sorry babe, I just had to wake you up.”

He nodded, sighing in relief. “Where’s Thanos?” he asked.

The two of you looked around to see Thor fly out of the sky and shove his axe into Thanos’ chest and push it further. You sighed in relief. Maybe it was finally over.

You could see the two of them talking, and Thanos raised his left hand. You heard Thor yell “NO!” as he snapped.

Confused, you watched light flash out from the stones and you looked around, trying to figure out what had happened. Nothing seemed to have changed, but then you started getting this weird feeling in your stomach, like you were about to pass out. 

You tried to stand, but stumbled. You looked at your hands to see them turning into dust. “Steve….” you looked up from your dissolving fingertips. “I - I don’t know what’s happening.” you said, starting to panic as your arms vanished.

The last thing you heard was Steve saying your name

Steve watched in horror as you dissolved into thin air. He knelt down in front of where you had been, running his hands through the pile of dust on the ground. He looked up when he heard his name from his friend Bucky

“Steve?”

He looked up just in time to see Bucky dissolve just as you had moments ago.

He went over to where Bucky had just been, seeing the dust fall to the ground just like it had with you.

He found out later that the same thing had happened to trillions across the universe. Thanos had done it. He had annihilated half of the population. 

When they followed Nebula to where Thanos was living to retrieve the stones, he was devastated when he learned that the stones were gone. Along with any chance of saving you.

He spent the next 5 years in despair. He tried to look on the bright side, tried to move on like he told everyone else to. But he was falling apart inside. When he woke up after being frozen for 70 years, he thought he had lost Peggy. A few years later she had really died. On Zola’s train, he thought he had lost Bucky only to find out that he was the Winter Soldier in 2014. When he found you he had finally been moving on from all of that. Starting over. But now you, and his best friend, were really gone.

He would try and replay every memory he had of you, making sure to remember every single detail. He couldn’t let himself forget. It was painful to remember, but he couldn’t bear to think of not being able to remember everything he had with you.

The love you had for each other.

Gone with the snap of the fingers

Literally dissolved into nothing.

He tried to keep it together for everyone, tried to get people to look on the bright side, but he never was able to himself. He couldn;t help but wish it had been him instead.

He didn;t know what to do with himself. There wasn;t a fight anymore, you weren;t there and neither was Bucky, he needed to do something but there wasn;t really anything to do. 

They were the longest years of his life.

Eventually he learned to move forward, but never fully. He couldn’t ever hope to find love again. He still loved you. No, he ran a group to help people cope. He figured if he couldn’t help himself he could help other people.

When Scott Lang showed up at Headquarters rambling about the quantum realm and time travel, he dared to hope again.

Maybe he could actually bring you back.

He went to Tony’s house with Scott and Nat to ask him about Scott’s idea. He tried not to show it, but he was desperate. When he said no, he tried to understand. But once again, he was crushed.

When Tony showed up a few days later having figured out a way to go back in time successfully, he tried to contain his excitement. He didn;t want to get his hopes up too high, but he couldn’t help it rising within him. He might actually be able to save you this time.

The entire time of gathering the stones and time travel, he kept you in mind. He’d do anything to get you back. Whatever it takes.

He stood there as Bruce snapped, and he looked around. Clint looked at his phone that had started ringing, and he could tell by the way he spoke that it was his family. That had died 5 years ago.

“Did we do it?” someone asked.

Steve just stood there in shock. Could it actually have worked?

A missile was shot through the ceiling, blowing everyone back. “What the hell was that?”

More missiles were shot, scattering everyone throughout the compound, and smashing the compound the smithereens. Most of the people fell down into the earth, along with the gauntlet and the stones. The missiles had come from a ship that was making its way down through the atmosphere, and it was apparent that it was Thanos.

How the hell did he get here?

Steve was one of 3 that hadn’t fallen underground, and Tony stood over him with his shield. He handed it to him, helping him up and walking to where Thor stood at the edge of the wrecked building, where he saw him

Thanos

Sitting on the edge of a rock, just waiting. But for what?

The 3 of them walked over to him. “You could not live with your own failure. And it brought you back to me. I thought that getting rid of half of you would cause those who survived to be grateful. But you’ve proved me wrong” he laughed to himself. “At least now I know what I must do.” he stood and picked up his sword. “I’ll build a new universe.”

“Out of what? S[illed blood?” Steve asked.

“At least they won’t know it.” He replied.

Tony suited up and Thor summoned lightning, helping Tony blast Thanos. He stumbled back, but grabbed Tony just in time to block Thor’s hammer from hitting him. Tony flung back and the impact knocked him out.

Thanos turned to Steve and threw him before throwing his sword at Thor. He battled with him before flinging him to a rock and standing over him with the axe Thor had been using.

Steve got up and focused his concentration, holding his hand out and praying that this would work. He saw the hammer start to move, before it flung past Thanos and into his hand.Hell yeah.

Thor shook his head. “I knew it.”

Steve walked toward Thanos and began fighting him with the hammer, summoning lightning and even surprising himself. He directed it to Thanos, and ran towards him to hit him in the head with the hammer. He missed and Thanos grabbed him and threw the hammer out of reach, before holding his shield up to block the sword. His shield began chipping away until he barely had half of it and was thrown across the battlefield, flat on his back. 

Steve pushed himself off the floor, not listening to what Thanos was saying to him. He watched as his army was beamed down from spaceship after spaceship. He kept trying to stand, trying to figure out a scenario in which this ended well. He finally stood up and heard on his earpiece,

Steve, do you read me?

He stood there, trying to believe what he was hearing. It had sounded like Sam

Steve it’s Sam, do you copy?

He felt the breath leave his lungs.

On your left

He turned around in time to see an orange portal open and T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri standing there. After having a silent conversation through their stares, Sam flew through the portal, and more portals began opening around him, the people he mourned walking through them. Steven Strange, Peter Parker, Wanda, Bucky…

He looked around, only looking for one person in particular. And then he found them

You. 

You stood there. Suited up and ready to fight. You nodded at Steve, smiling. He wanted nothing more but to run over and hug you, but he knew there was a war to be run first. More people pooled through the portals, all of them ready to fight. An army stood beside and behind him and he held out his hand for Thor’s hammer. “Avengers!”

He caught the hammer whirling at him.

“Assemble.”

Shouts were yelled and everyone began charging, the world vs Thanos and his army. It was brutal. For you it had just been moments ago that this same battle took place, and you didn;t know what had happened in between your arms dissolving and a sorcerer showing up from the sky saying that 5 years had passed and the battle was still happening. For you, a few minutes had passed. For Steve, it was a lifetime.

You fought beside Steve for most of it, like you usually did when you were on a mission. When there was a brief moment, you looked at your boyfriend. “Since when are you able to use that thing?” referring to Thor’s hammer. He looked at it. “About 5 minutes ago.” You nodded, turning back to the incoming aliens and stabbing them.

You kept fighting them as they came, not willing to lose this time around. It happened once, it could happen again. You had never fought so fiercely in your life.  A Few times you were overwhelmed by the sheer number of aliens around you, but a bolt of lightning would save your ass and you’d go back to fighting.

You don’t know how long it lasted, and you were covered in lacerations and blood, but as you were running out of stamina, the aliens around you began turning into dust. You looked around, panting, as Thanos’ army began to disintegrate, eyes landing on Tony laying limp against a pile of buildings. You were about to go check on him, when you felt someone grab your arm.

Steve.

You turned around to meet his eyes that were bloodshot. “Y/n?”

You smiled and let out a breath, bringing your hand to his face. “It’s me Steve. I’m okay.”

He pulled you into a bone crushing hug, and you could feel him trembling. Hell, you were trembling too. The adrenaline was wearing off and the pain was setting in. 

“I missed you so much y/n.”

You hugged him a little tighter. “I know. I missed you too.”

You knew it had been a lot longer for him, but you didn’t want to seem insensitive. You couldn’t imagine living 5 years without Steve, especially if you didn’t know he was coming back.

“I’m here Steve. I’m safe.”

He spoke with a wavering voice. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

You pulled back and shook your head. “No, Steve. You did everything you could. It’s not your fault.”

He cupped your cheeks, shaking his head. “I thought I lost you.”

You smiled. “You didn’t. You saved me, Captain Rogers.”

[we-rate-tmnt]

Give us the Donatellos!

Donnie is my favorite so Imma be super biased on this one. Maybe I like smart guys or maybe purple is my favorite color, you’ll never know!

Up first, the og ‘hehe turgle’

Donatello (1987)

Yeah I’m sorry for making this 

First of all, not the biggest fan of his voice. It has a bit of a whiny quality to it, and I’m not about all that jazz. His gismo’s look pretty lame a lot of the times, either it’s a grey box with some buttons, dials and flashing lights or looks like it was pulled directly from Lost in Space. Still a cute design but he felt pretty bland and seemed to be used for plot convenience most of the time. To put it simply, he was cute and essential but kinda bland. I’m always really harsh on this version because it’s so painfully dated and cheesy, which ain’t my cup of tea, but what can I say be hehe turgle.

5/10

I had a crush on this Donnie so you know that this is not remotely close to a fair rating but eh, I love him and yall do too

Don (2003)

His voice, such a huge improvement. I’m really sound-oriented and I often like to play a game of ‘I’ve heard the VA before, but which role?’ when I watch cartoons and I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good at it. So when I heard that soft, caring voice, ten year old me was head over heels. Which is one quality I love about him. His heart is so huge, like I can think back to a bunch of side characters and most of them were introduced through Don helping or knowing them. The Atlantians and the homeless in the show owe so much to Don, but he goes out of his way to make sure that they are alright. In the last season (which everyone hated but I actually really liked so fuck me I guess), Splinter is lost into tiny pieces across the web and Don blames himself and goes without sleep and food for days to bring him back. It broke my heart, and I’m pretty sure a lot of others, to see him like that.

On a lighter note, I vaguely remember this one scene where the triceration dude is like ‘you did this!’ and Don’s like ‘I did? Good for me then.’ and had a very pleased grin on his face right after. I don’t know why, but that killed me. Bless Don and his rare, but excellent, comebacks.

He really does so much and there were quite a few episodes focused on him. He also had quite a bit of character development, not as much as Leo, but whoever gets any more development whatsoever besides Leo?

I love him he’s amazing protect him/10

Next up is the Donnie that helped me love my old gap tooth.

Donnie (2012)

Voiced by the very talented Rob Paulson, this Donnie goes back and forth from really great character to eh. The whole April thing was just kinda strange to me and I don’t really think it added anything other than some interesting Casey and Donnie banter. His crush was really strong the first two seasons and came off as stalkerish almost. Although I’m guilty of having a picture of a crush as my lock screen once as well, so I can’t judge that much. I really liked that they actually addressed this when Bigfoot had a crush on Donnie and he realized how April felt. Yeah, that episode was weird and just didn’t make any sense, but it really helped Donnie gain a new perspective and made him go from super crush to (mostly) hidden pining. He has a nice design as well, especially with the gap tooth. I used to have one and was really embarrassed of it but whenever I saw that Donnie had one, I thought it looked neat and I started to see myself in a more positive light. It’s closed up now, but I can still spray water between the little bit that’s left as a parlor trick. But seriously, what the FUCK was up with Don visiososoos whatever tf his name I I don’t understnad my tiny brain don’t understand why my purple boy tried to kill this dude who looked like he should’ve been wearing a red jumpsuit in the background of a pixar robot love story. Anyway, my tall gap tooth son, ily.

7/10

Then, the barely changed but fantastic

Donnie (Heroes in a Half Shell: Blast to the Past)

Baby but Bastard at the same time purely because of the ‘Anyone who bothers me, ejector seat button’s right there’ line. 

10/10

Now this version has one of my favorite designs out of all the Donatello’s!

Donatello (2014/2016)

They put a lot of thought into his design psychically, the long body, the near-constant look of surprise and curiosity in his features, the gadgets made of common objects, the wraps on his arms, I would love to be able to think of and make those kinds of details! It was all really well thought out and he stood out since he wasn’t as bulky as the rest of the turtles. I really like the little lines and the actor did a fantastic job on the delivery and really made the character come to life. Some favorites: ‘Ohmygod, they have guns’, the little awed, snorty chuckle when he flips a car over with his bo staff, ‘doitdoitoitdoit im not gonna stop til you do it doditdoit’ and when he straight up yeets himself out of a plane. He has a genuine curiosity in everything he does and I think he might be my favorite version. It’s hard to choose when it comes to Donnie because he varies so wildly. But for detail, voice and writing alone, definitely the 2014 Donnie.

8.5/10

Next up is God himself

Donnie (2018)

Chaotic as all hell, like I can’t think of a more chaotic character from ANY of the versions other than this Donnie. I have a lot of thoughts about his character in general, from design, to psychology and complexes. First and foremost, Donnie is a softshell turtle, meaning he has a DOPE battle shell and overall looks pretty damn neat. Although, I think that just the fact he’s biologically weaker has caused him to put up a lot of boundaries between him and his family and friends. He can’t be incredibly strong like Raph, agile like Leo or fast like Mikey and even though he brags about being smart, he feels almost beneath his brothers and strives to outdo them in any way he can. He wants to show them that he’s just as, if not more so, talented and feels overlooked because his inventions become ‘too smart’ or ‘too over the top’ and even the ones that work out incredibly well are written off for flashier projects. 

He depends on technology and feels like that's all he has, and (ironically enough) he’s built up a shield around him. He acts confident and narcissistic and has an almost nihilistic outlook, but he’s frustrated and feels inferior and wants validation more than anything. I came up with this theory when I saw the episode Turtle Dega Nights. I know that the scene was meant for Donnie to express how he feels about Splinter lying about the event and believe that he didn’t genuinely want to hang out with his sons, but that kind of thing feels like it’s been built up over time, like he’s been lied to before about the true meaning behind something. Something like, oh idk, how great his inventions are? Or how helpful he really is? Or how talented he is? Just sayin. Also ngl I might be self projecting a bit, but mmm. Also he has so much purple on him and it’s wayyy more accurate compared to just a purple bandanna bc people who like purple GO ALL OUT. A friend told me this and I thought ‘nah thats not true I like purple’ but then I looked down to find my dyed purple jeans, purple vans and my favorite hoodie, also purple. A really chaotic version but he seriously needs a hug.

9/10

Storytime: One time my friend dressed up as Donnie the same year I was dressing as April O’ Neal and we didn’t even plan it. It was fantastic.

Thank you so much for sending this in! Sorry it’s taking me so long to get around to these! I’m so glad you guys are liking my blog and my opinions!

[agentnico]

Top 20 Best Movies of the Decade (2010′s)

Now that we have entered the 2020s, it’s time to look back on a decade of movie magic. To emphasise the importance of each year, I’ll balance things out by including two films from each year for my Top 20 list. I’ve tried to pick films that both defined this decade as well as appealed to me personally, so my list will of course, as always, be different from yours, but hopefully, I won’t totally irritate you with my humble choice, which I deem worthy to post online for the public eye to witness.

2010:

INCEPTION - “You’re waiting for a train...” Christopher Nolan unarguably is the most exciting and original directors working today. Each time he releases a movie, its an event. A literal must-see at the cinema. Which is why this isn’t the only film of his you will find on this list. With Inception, Nolan gives us a movie that is both enjoyable and imaginative, rewarding the audience for the attention that it demands. Filled with so much detail that if you miss certain shots, you will completely get lost in confusion of the narrative (as confusing as it already is). It’s intense and complex, with great performances from the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy, this movie will leave you lingering for more even after that mysterious ending.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD -  “You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!” Once again, another exciting director on this list (oh there are so so many!). Ever since Edgar Wright emerged from the British isles, he’s given us some of the funniest films of the past decade and onwards. His Cornetto Trilogy is a blast, Baby Driver is a blast, Ant-Man was going to be even more of a blast if Marvel allowed Wright to do his magical shenanigans his way, and the upcoming Last Night in Soho will surely be a blast also. With Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Wright creates a meta-clever universe taking inspiration from comic books and video games and filled to the brink with wink-wink-nudge-nudge humour, this is an exciting and very sarcastic over the top endeavor. Also, Brie Larson in this movie.....phew!! And unsurprisingly, its all a blast!

2011:

DRIVE - “I just wanted you to know, just getting to be around you, that was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Drive is more of an elegant exercise in style, and its emotions may be hidden but they run deep. A shamelessly disreputable, stylish, stoic, ultra-violent thriller with amazing stunt work, one of the best opening sequences of any movie this decade and a neon-pumped soundtrack that’s a must-own for all vinyl users, if you still haven’t seen Drive, there’s only one thing you can do. Clue: it’s to go watch Drive.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - “Your mission, should you choose to accept it...” Tom Cruise’s deal with the devil allows him to do some literally impossible stuff, and though I don’t condone his Scientology ways, the man’s stunt work and efforts in his area of expertise are worth all the praise and respect. To be honest, I’m commemorating all three of the Mission Impossible flicks that graced our screen this year (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation and Fallout). This franchise is like a game of dodgeball, except that Tom Cruise is the dodgeBALL, being thrown and thrust left and right like nobody cares. Also, with me being Russian, the fact that a movie manages to destroy the Kremlin and then have me not hate the film in the aftermath shows that this film is way too fun to hate.

2012:

DJANGO UNCHAINED - “Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.” Quentin Tarantino is one of my favourite directors working today. And Django Unchained happens to be my favourite film of his. The writing for this film is orgasmic (I went there!). The way the actors deliver the lines and the lines of dialogue themselves sound almost poetic to my ears. I can quote so many lines from this darn thing. The cinematography is immaculate. The soundtrack choice is great. The performances, my goodness, the PERFORMANCES!! Jamie Foxx does arguably his career-best work here, but also we have Christoph Waltz and Leonardo DiCaprio both chewing up the scenery, and I’m sure everyone has heard the story involving DiCaprio and the broken glass. Django Unchained is an easy choice on this list for me, and possibly in my Top 10 of all time.

LES MISERABLES - “Do you hear the people sing?” The film that is based on a musical that is based on a book that is based on certain true events. Tom Hooper did an interesting choice of having actors sing live in front of the camera during filming rather than pre-record their voices, and it works to grand effect, though Russell Crowe should have probably been given more singing lessons. The movie is one hell of a way to adapt such a popular stage musical. With an opening shot that emphasises the scale of this picture with a zoom-in towards this big ship during a storm being pulled by these poor prisoners, we are plunged into the despair and conflicts of various characters with adroit narrative thrust so that not a moment feels wasted or redundant. You’d think that a film with hardly any dialogue and an overall reliance on singing wouldn’t be so emotional. Yet, somehow, it works. Also props to Anne Hathaway for winning an Academy Award for being in a film for only 5 MINUTES!!

2013:

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET - “Sell me this pen.” Martin Scorsese’s mad look into Wall Street life is a bombastic caper and running at nearly 3 hours, Scorsese and his editing team manage to keep an astoundingly intoxicating pace that keeps you enthralled and engaged throughout. This one is definitely not for the families, as this R-rated fest is filled with drugs, money, sex and everything you can possibly imagine and paints quite the picture of the rich folks of Wall Street. And the middle of it all a bravura performance from Leonardo DiCaprio. Someone needs to give DiCaprio’s agent a raise, this is Leo’s third appearance on this list and we’re only in 2013!

THE WAY WAY BACK - “I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're having way too much fun, it's making everyone uncomfortable.” Sometimes a little indie flick is enough to lift a human spirit. Real, fun, uplifting and innocent, The Way Way Back dedicated to anyone who felt awkward or out of place at some point in their life, which, let’s be honest, counts all of us. I’m not afraid to admit that. So stop being a b*** and reveal your sensitive side too! Yes, you, the person reading this. Who else could I possibly be talking to? Myself? Maybe. The Way Way Back though is one of the best feel-good indie films of this decade, with the loveable Steve Carell acting very unloveable and Sam Rockwell Rockwelling himself to charm city! If you’ve missed this one, treat yo’self and check it out.

2014:

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL - “And?? Where is it? What's it all about dammit don't keep us in suspense this has been a complete f***ing nightmare! Just tell us what the f*** is going on!!!” Easily Wes Anderson’s best in my opinion (I have a friend who would argue Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums has the better hand but I think my opinion is more valid because it's me), this movie is a glossy, colorful, whimsical deadpan affair with an energetic turn from Ralph Fiennes as the hotel concierge M. Gustave H. as he and his lobby boy run into various Wes Anderson regulars and deal with murderers, stolen paintings, love affairs, prison breaks, and all kinds of crazy shindigs, but all shown in such a casual Wes Anderson way. This movie is like a slice of cherry pie - damn fine!

INTERSTELLAR - “Murphy’s Law doesn’t mean that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen.” As promised, Christopher Nolan makes another appearance on this list, now with his space time-traveling epic Interstellar, where he takes inspiration from the likes of Kubrick and Tarkovsky to give us, as always, a tad bit confusing adventure with great visuals and an interesting narrative (though it does sometimes get lost in its own way), however, the key thing holding this piece together is the father-daughter relationship with Matthew McConaughey and Mackenzie Foy (and Jessica Chastain) managing to bring so much raw emotion to their respective roles that you can’t help but want to shed a tear. I mean, I haven’t cried for over 14 years, but I remember when I first watched this film, the audience around me was sobbing quite a few times during the duration of this movie. Give it to Nolan to give us the emotional moments!

2015:

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD - “Oh what a day! What a lovely day!!” Easily the best action movie of this decade. Sorry John Wick, neither you or Tom Cruise could defeat this beast. The sheer, limitless invention behind this movie's exhilarating, preposterous chase scenes highlights action filmmaking at its finest. With big monster trucks and a random guitarist rocking-it in the middle of all the action, it’s like a nihilistic version of a Cirque du Soleil show! And it makes Tom Hardy the calmest person on-screen; no idea how it managed that.

STEVE JOBS - “I sat in a garage and invented the future because artists lead and hacks ask for show of hands.” If there is anyone who can make formulaic, mathematical or technological sound fun and exciting, its Aaron Sorkin. The man has a talent for writing screenplays about difficult and complicated topics yet turning them approachable for the casual moviegoer. Pair him with director Danny Boyle, and the result is Steve Jobs, a look at the man behind the phone. Narratively set during three important product launches of Jobs’, we get to see the behind-the-scenes of his relationships with his colleagues and family members, and this character study is one that could have easily fallen into generic biopic tropes, but it holds it’s own right till the credits roll. Also props for showing that Seth Rogen can actually do a serious role. Who would’ve thought that pot-smoking fella had dramatic chops in him?

2016:

NOCTURNAL ANIMALS - “Susan, enjoy the absurdity of our world. It’s a lot less painful. Believe me, our world is a lot less painful than the real world.” Fashion designer Tom Ford does sew his suits well. Apparently, he can also make great films too, with 2009′s A Single Man and with said Nocturnal Animals. This movie is truly incredible and I remember it taking me and my friend by surprise when we first watched it at the cinema. It’s shocking. Horrifying. Depressing. Upsetting. Altogether exhilarating. Being of a fashion background, Tom Ford directs the hell out of this movie, with gorgeous shots and great use of colour as well as managing to masterfully create tension and suspense when necessary. Honestly, I know Tom Ford is probably busy at a department store somewhere, but the guy needs to make another movie. The man has a talent.

LA LA LAND - “Here’s to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem. Here’s to the hearts that ache; here’s to the mess we make.” Oh, La La Land. Damien Chazelle’s follow-up to the also excellent Whiplash. People who know me well know how much I love this movie. An old-school tour-de-force musical that’s a love letter to jazz and the golden age of Hollywood. The city of stars never looked so good. Featuring catchy original songs, excellent dance choreography (the sequence to the song “Lovely Night” is especially memorable) and a romance tale ten times better than the forsaken The Notebook, La La Land is one special movie. I know many are put off by the film’s not so happy ending, however for me it was the only way this narrative could have ended. 

2017:

BLADE RUNNER 2049 - “We’re all just looking out for something real.” Similarly to Nolan, Denis Villeneuve is proving to be one of the most exciting directors working today. He’s the man behind such films as *deep breath* Prisoners, Enemy, Sicario, Arrival and Blade Runner 2049. And those have all been done within the last decade. The man constantly makes quality movies of various genres, though lately, he has been leaning more towards science fiction, which is a-okay in my books, since as Blade Runner 2049 proves, he can turn science into fiction like butter on bread. A sequel made 30 years after Ridley Scott’s classic, this visually breathtaking piece is arguably even better than its predecessor with many moments giving you the “wow wow wow wow wow WOW!” factor, and when Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford are both on-screen they are dynamite. Forget the new Star Wars film (that’s right, I'm throwing shade there), Blade Runner is where it’s at!

PHANTOM THREAD - “The tea is going out. The interruption is staying right here with me.” The supposed last Daniel Day-Lewis film, as he has now apparently retired from acting, but let’s be honest, nothing stops him from simply unretiring at any point. Exhibit A - Joe Pesci. However, like Pesci, if he comes back I’ll only be happy. He’s one of acting greats of our time, and his collaborations will director Paul Thomas Anderson bring out some of his best roles. Phantom Thread is a marvel of a movie. No, I don’t mean that’s its part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I mean as in it can fill one with wonder and astonishment. Phantom Thread is PTA’s Gothic dark fairy-tale romance film, which expertly planned shots and scenes where every word of the dialogue counts. There is no wasted moment. And as the film transpires to its dark and unsettling climax, one begins to realize that this, THIS, is what filmmaking is about. Telling an engrossing story in an interesting way with crisp-clear shots and off-the-chart acting at play, with great costume design on display, although the latter is unsurprising due to a major aspect of the movie revolving around fashion.

2018:

MANDY -  “You ripped ma shirt!! You ripped maaa shiirrt!!” An acquired taste for sure, however, Mandy is indeed something truly special. From first glance, this film might seem like nothing out of the ordinary, especially from the point of view of the plot. Its the usual revenge flick. However director Panos Cosmatos’ vision and how he presents it is so much more unique. And what’s not love in this film? There’s something for everyone! It’s artsy and slow enough for the critics, hip and metal for the nonchalant, gory and violent for the hardcore genre fanatics and of course the Nic-Cage-rage factor is present for the fans of the actor. Alright, it may not be a family film, but this one is worth a watch. The whole thing is bound together by this psychedelic otherworldly environment, with the whole movie conceived in this dark, unsettlingly beautiful yet horror-filled aura that might stray people away, as it might be just too different for them, however, if you are looking for something different to watch, take mandy. I mean, watch Mandy!

A STAR IS BORN - “Music is essentially 12 notes between any octave. Twelve notes and the octave repeats. It’s the same story told over and over. All the artist can offer the world is how they see those 12 notes.” The film that began all the rumours surrounding Bradley Cooper’s and Lady Gaga’s affair. People, heads up, they are actors! They were putting on a performance! Jeez. That being said, I totally ship them. Nuff’ said. The film though? Yes, it’s good. Some country-style music, romance blooming, Gaga can apparently act, people sing about shallows for some reason...all together works for a pretty decent motion picture. Also, the fact that Bradley Cooper wrote, directed, produced and starred in this gives me so much respect for the guy. He poured his heart and soul into this. And Lady Gaga absolutely shines!

2019:

PAIN & GLORY -  “Writing is like drawing but with letters.” Director Pedro Almodovar semi-autobiographical film takes a close look at how one deals with acceptance, being forgotten, symptoms of depression and generally all fairly negative attributes, but delivered in such an honest and profound way that there is a strange lightness that emerges from it all. Antonio Banderas is uncannily vulnerable in the lead role, delivering such an earnest performance that shows a man that is filled with melancholic regret who seeks his own form of redemption. This movie is a thing of beauty.

PARASITE - “You know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all. If you make a plan, life never works out that way.” Parasite is easily the most original and surprising films of 2019, and possibly the decade, managing to subvert expectations and blend together so many different genres so naturally. To spoil any narrative element of this movie would be a sin, like this one in particular works best when not knowing anything about it. This movie comes to us from Bong Joon-Ho, a South Korean director behind such films as The Host, Memories of Murder, Okja, and Snowpiercer. It’s nice to see the awards ceremonies giving him the proper recognition finally. He deserves it.

That sums up my Top 20 Best Movies of the Decade list. Of course, there are so many other great films that came out in these 10 years, such as Whiplash, When Marnie Was There, Paterson, Silence, Kubo and the Two Strings, The Nice Guys...I can go on forever. Cinema is a constant ever-growing medium, and it is fascinating to see how it changes through the years, in some ways improving and in some parts not so much. In any case, I look forward towards a new decade of, hopefully, great movies, however, let’s be honest, for all these great films there’s always a Norm of the North, a Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse or frickin’ Cats. But let’s hope those will be kept to a minimum. In any case, bring on the 2020s!