#sorry for the vent i had to get it out somewhere so rather than using a diary like a sane person i post online for the world

[worst-mithrandir]

shedding my first few tears at college not because im homesick or stressed, but because i have boobs.

i think they look fine on everyone else, i just do not like them on me, and the only way to get rid of them at this point is to do an obnoxious amount of cardio (which is even more difficult when i only have one good sports bra)

my motto a few weeks ago was love em or lose em and i am not loving them.

[loupy-mongoose]

I wish my art motivation and my "want-to-move-the-story-along" motivation would get along, lol.

There's so much I rather would've drawn for this, but my brain is still in the Hisui rot. So, I'll have to make due.

Speech guide:

Randy's speech Jamie's speech (Pokespeak in parentheses) ~~Telepathy is in... these things... Whatever they're called. XD~~

PREVIOUS NEXT

~~~~~~

The group spread out among the foliage, keeping their eyes keen and calling out Midas' name.

As they searched, Akoya sent her husband a private vent.

~~Rrrrrrrrrgggghhh! ~~ ~~Why'd she have to come with us?!~~ ~~We'll find him fine on our own, then get right back to her. She doesn't need to babysit us! What threat do we pose anyway??~~

Randy struggled to suppress a sigh. ~~I know, Hon. But we really shouldn't do anything to upset her. We're on her turf right now, and she seems to be a high authority on it.~~

~~Huh. Well I'll be happy to be done with this and back home safely in Paldea.~~

~~I know. Believe me, I know. But let's just focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now we need to make our way to Midas without her figuring out we can feel him.~~

Randy felt a stab of regret from her direction, and glance at her to see her giving him a remorseful look.

~~...I'm sorry.~~

Randy struggled to hide shock from Jamie.

~~For what?~~

~~For being difficult...~~ ~~Thank you for being patient with me, and... all this...~~

Seeing that Jamie was searching facing away from them, he met his wife's eyes and gave her a warm smile.

~~Of course, Akoya!~~ ~~I look forward to having Midas back and getting a chance to really talk in private.~~

Akoya sighed lightly.

~~Me too...~~

Midaaaas!

The pink-and-blue Mew perked up his ears, his tear-stained eyes opening wide.

(Mamah?)

His companion, a fluffy pink and russet Mew, also looked toward the calling voice. A purr was rattling from her in an attempt to calm the poor child she'd come across and curled around reassuringly.

Suddenly the young Mew bolted, startling his companion into silence.

(MAMAH!)

Midas slammed into his mother's chest. His voice came out as a whimper.

(Mamah...)

After a brief shock, Akoya smiled and hugged the little Mew close under her chin, and her eyes welled with tears. Midas... Oh thank Arceus...

Midas' fluffy companion flew up and nuzzled Jamie's head. Before Randy could comment on her, the girl gave her a startled look, but quickly recomposed herself.

(Hey, Jamie! Good to see you!)

It's good to see you too! But... a little surprising. Randy caught the quickest dart of her eyes in their direction. Clearly she was implying something, but what that was, he had no idea.

The stranger Mew smiled at the three newcomers. There was an... odd gleam in her eyes, but she turned back to Jamie, not giving any chance to ponder it.

Randy and Akoya exchanged glances. There was no avoiding it this time. She'd caught them all red-handed.

The man sighed. Yes, we all understand it.

Akoya's face turned serious, although she couldn't hide the shock she'd received. How did you know?

Educated guess. You reacted when Clover mentioned the bag. The red-haired girl met Akoya's eyes, but she appeared neutral, rather than hostile. Randy noticed that that subtle curiosity had returned.

Beside him, he saw his wife shudder. ...I don't like how sharp you are...

Much to Randy's surprise, Jamie gave a regretful smile. Force of habit. She took a snappy breath, as if to recenter herself, and straightened her postured. Shall we move on to the house?

The three Lindens looked at each other and nodded, and they set off again. But before they went far, Jamie turned to look at Akoya once more.

...So, did Midas call you "Mama"?

Feeling a wave of exasperation from Akoya, Randy answered for her, desperate to escape this weird dance of secrets they'd ended up in. We'll explain later. Can we just get somewhere where we can breathe?

The group continued on as the sun began to sink. Jamie's fluffy Mew buddy, Pari, floated leisurely around them, sometimes humming happily, sometimes picking up a chat with Jamie. Sometimes they would pass folks on the road, and Pari would wave cheerfully or let them pet her as she purred.

Randy realized then what Jamie had meant about this being a safe place for Midas to be lost at. Clearly the locals were used to having a Mew around--or two, if Jovie was as friendly and close to the people as Pari. Some Pokemon that roamed close by would come greet Jamie warmly, happy to see her back after her time away. And Randy caught glimpses of a deep, genuine smile on her face as she talked with them

He sighed, wishing things could be straight-forward, and hoped the two parties could soon find a comfortable middle ground.

He felt a gentle hand take his own, and looked over at his wife, unable to resist a soft smile as he met her eyes. Her other arm was tucked into her jacket to support Midas, who had refused to go back into the bag and was now hidden in there. Randy had taken possession of the bag.

He looked to his other side at Lav, who seemed as drained as he was. She'd been very quiet since they arrived, and he longed to pick her brain. But now wasn't the time. He felt a pang of guilt that she'd been so sidelined by all this.

He placed his hand on her far shoulder, looking for a cue that a hug would be okay. She turned up to him with tired eyes, giving a half-hearted smile and leaning into him. He tightened his grip around her.

As they walked, seeing their escort and new Mew companion at ease with the residents, his children safe in their arms and his wife and best friend by his side... he felt a deep peace settle in him.

Once they could get all the secrets and misunderstandings out of the way...

It wouldn't be so bad here.

~~~~~~

PREVIOUS NEXT

[gogotti]

Michael Myers with a very smiley/happy s/o

I had a dream that I was being very smiley with him so that’s where this comes from :)

He doesn’t know why you’re so happy but good for you I guess?

Whenever you see him, whether he’s covered in blood or fresh out of the shower you forced him in, you have this big smile on your face

At first it was very infuriating, he’s here to kill you why are you smiling at him?

He’s trapped you in a corner, knife at your throat and, even though it’s a nervous smile as you bargain for your life, it’s still a smile and he hates it

He would only come back to attempt to scare this shit out of you and permanently wipe the smile off of your face

But you had other plans.

When he’d arrive the next time you’d have leftovers on the table for him and a little note with, you guessed it, a smiley face

He would throw the note to the side somewhere and scarf down the food you made, because dead animals aren’t cutting it anymore ya know?

As he decided you were worth keeping, at least for a little bit, he could see you out the corner of his eye, smiling at your perceived success

He would still attempt getting you to stop, and strangely you persevered

Until one night he found you curled in a ball on your bed, having a very bad day

He would approach you loudly, and you would turn to face him, sprawled out and a miserable look on your face

You would mumble a weak, “just kill me already”

And he wouldn’t

He would stare, now mad at you for the lack of smile that he expected from you

How dare you be sad?

All he knew was that smile, why would you take that from him?

He wouldn’t know what to do with you though and he’d just leave, stomping out of your room in anger

The next day he’d come back to you sitting in the kitchen, picking at your plate of food with his leftovers at the other end of the table

He would stare at you the entire time you ate, a smile on your face again

“Hey, sorry for that yesterday, I had a pretty stressful day at work and…”

He would watch your smile fade, but you’d quickly fix it

He didn’t like that smile. He hated it.

He knew it was forced, and he stared daggers at you until you dropped it again.

“I know you don’t care about my day, but… I need someone to chat with. You think you could listen for a little bit?”

He was used to sitting and listening, that’s all he ever did in smiths grove, so he sat and listened, watching you as you went through the evens of your day, and getting up and replacing the food on his plate whenever he ran out

(you just wanted him to stay still and you assumed food was the only way to do that)

He didn’t know how long he had listened (and ate) but he was very satisfied with the large smile that formed on your face after you had gotten past the bad and talked about the good

When you were done you stared at him, letting out a “Thanks for listening.” after a while of just looking.

He huffed, got up and crashed on your couch. You just tossed a blanket over him and called it a night.

Next morning you were making breakfast, smiling and humming a tune and he couldn’t help but watch in amusement

Now he can prevent those nights spent crying, though at first it wasn’t voluntary, you would just plop down in front if him and vent

As time went on you would get closer and he’d allow you to lean on him, until you just ploped down in his lap and laid there, not a word exiting your mouth

After a while you looked up at him and smiled, “I missed you, that’s all.”

He looked away, embarrassed, and he’d rather die than let you know you flustered him so instead, he wrapped his arms around you tightly, not letting you get up

That was until you bribed him with dinner

When he finally would take off the mask you would see the look in his eyes when he’d catch you singing

Or when he’d sneak behind you while you were cooking, only to attempt to steal some of the food you were preparing

You didn’t know exactly but you would assume the look he’d give you, his brows relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as he watched, was one of admiration

He’d never tell you that you’re right, but he’d watch the smile on your face grow when he’d lean over and kiss your forehead

[seb-reads31]

I'm glad you don't mind! Then, I'll request again! Though please tell me if you're not interested! It's headcanons of Obey Me characters except Lucifer & Belphegor notice GN Reader had a bad day so he went to check on them. They are still sad but they immediately brighten up upon seeing him! How would OM characters cheer them up? Sorry for repeating this similar prompt because I had a bad day and I really love your writing!

Tw's -

Genre - Hurt/Comfort

Type - Head canons

Comments - Of course nonnieee 🥺🥺 I'm sorry you had a bad day, I hope it gets/got better! And I really hope you enjoy these. They're gonna be a bit shorter though, mostly my thoughts on how they would comfort you, hopefully this is okay. I wanna avoid repeating the same thing over and over again.

Bad day?

Mammon

💸 If he saw you crying his instincts would kick in

💸 HA, you thought I was gonna say that he wouldn't know what to do, but you're WRONG

💸 The reason I chose the word "instincts" is because he has 5 younger brothers, he knows what to do when someone is crying and how to cheer them up

💸 10/10, the best comforter ever totally not personally biased

💸 But regardless, he knows how to cheer up different people based on their personality, he had to deal with different kinds and had to learn to adapt to the new ones and their preferences. With you, it'll be a cake walk✨

💸 He's so good at it you'll forget why you were upset in the first place

💸 Eventually after you've calmed down he'll ask you if you wanna talk about why you're upset, if you do then he'll listen and give the best advice he can, if you don't then he'll reassure you that you don't have to tell him if you don't want to then drop the subject altogether to keep your mind off of it

Leviathan

🎮 He's one of the worst at comforting, but he tries his best

🎮 Solid 4/10 in my opinion

🎮 His form of comforting you is grabbing your favorite snacks, and offering to watch your favorite anime together, or playing your favorite game together, or reading your favorite manga together

🎮 He might attempt to ask what was wrong but might not have the courage to do so, but will tell you nonverbally that he's there for you no matter what

🎮 He's more used to being the one comforted rather than having to comfort someone so he's a little awkward, but again, does his best

Satan

🧶 Another one of the better comforters

🧶 7.5/10

🧶 Why I say 7.5 instead of like a 8 or 9 is because his form of comforting would be taking you to a cat cafe (if you're not allergic/like cats, if so then he would take you to a normal cafe) and buy you as many snacks and drinks as you would like, as well as buying a few books you've been wanting to read (if you like reading, if not then you two just talk)

🧶 His knowledge of comforting probably came from his constant reading

🧶 He probably also read some human psychology books out of both boredom and slight interest

Asmodeus

😘 9/10

😘 100% fusses over you like a mom/older sibling

😘 Self care day, your choice if you wanna go to a spa, get a massage, or get a manicure, pedicure, or both if you want he's paying for it all 🤧

😘 There are no if's and's or but's about it, he's paying and you're going to relax and take your mind off of things for a while

😘 I personally feel like he would be the best person to vent to

😘 He gives great advice, great at analyzing, and knows how to read people in any situation possible

😘 You may not think so, but feel free to share your thoughts

😘 If you decide to talk about it he's more than willing to give his thoughts and offers tips or solutions for your problems

😘 Tied in 1st place with Mammon

Beelzebub

🍔 5/10

���� Not the best but not the worst

🍔 His form of comfort is either Belphie or food

🍔 So he takes you out to eat somewhere, specifically to your favorite restaurant and orders your favorite food, as well as some dessert

🍔 He's the 2nd best when it comes to listening (1st going to Asmo) but doesn't exactly give the best advice

🍔 He tries his best, and ends up consulting Belphie or Lucifer maybe

🍔 He doesn't exactly know what to do when comforting you but he does his best

Diavolo

👑 He's busy most of the time, and he didn't get much interaction with other people when he was growing up so he isn't the best when it comes to comforting someone

👑 2/10 ;-;

👑 He doesn't know what to do so he summons Barbatos to assist him

👑 And that's assuming that he was even available to begin with 🫤

👑 Let's just say that he was for the sake of the request though

👑 He would be very awkward

👑 Probably resorts to taking a break with you and having a small tea party where you vent to him about your problems

👑 It would be a nice break for him as well so two birds with 1 stone 👍

Barbatos

🍵 7-9/10

🍵 There's a reason for the 7-9 so stay with me 😭

🍵 7 is when he's had a bit of a longer/busier day

🍵 He's already feeling a bit more stressed out or overwhelmed than usual and can't find it in himself to be completely.. understanding

🍵 He will definitely make you two some tea and snacks whenever he has a small break but his advice won't be the absolute best

🍵 There's multiple things running through his mind at the moment so he's a little confuzzled

🍵 On a good day however is when he's at a 9

🍵 He's much more willing to listen and will give you much better advice

🍵 On days where he's at a 9 includes him taking a break from serving Dia and takes you to the gardens to make flower crowns as you vent your frustrations I love flower crowns leave me alone

🍵 I feel like this is what he does in his free time personally (I'll save this for a general Head canon request or if I decide to do it out of boredom)

🍵 He doesn't necessarily like plucking the flowers from the gardens but he knows a spell or 2 to replace them easily, so he doesn't really mind

🍵 He definitely gives you much better advice and even offers to bake something with you to take your mind off of it 🥹

Simeon

😇 Simeon is a literal angel, let's get that out of the way right now

😇 Now, I feel like angels just have this calming aura or something like that around them

😇 And that helps you to relax and feel less stressed

😇 I feel like Simeon is just the best person to go to if you're having a bad day though

😇 He's the most calm out of everyone, and is the 2nd best at comforting

😇 I say 2nd for a reason

😇 And that is because you live with the brothers, they know you the best

😇 Simeon is just an exchange students like you, you don't normally spend a lot of time together

Solomon

🪄 I don't know what to give Solomon

🪄 He would probably be better in the sense that he's a human and understands human emotions a bit better than demons

🪄 He's also very old wise so he would have some good advice as well

🪄 He would probably find your favorite fantasy animal and show you it, like unicorns or dragons, stuff like that

🪄 Or he would show you some fun spells and such that would both be easy and fun to learn

🪄 He's not the best at comforting someone, he leaves that stuff alone but he is good at distracting you from your problems if that's what you really need

Luke

🐶 5/10

🐶 DON'T ATTACK ME JUST LISTEN 😭😭

🐶 Luke is a small child technically, he doesn't fully understand adult emotions or why specific things happen

🐶 He's not the best, and he shouldn't have to be because he is a child

🐶 It doesn't stop him from wanting to cheer you up with pastries he baked with Simeon or Barbatos though

🐶 The precious baby doesn't know what happened today, but is willing to help any way he can 🥺🥺

🐶 It's more than likely just you two baking together with Simeon and/or Barbatos but it's still a fun and helpful activity to do when you're feeling down

Notes - I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭😭 I got burnt out or something along the way for whatever reason 🧍 But school also started up again so I'm not very tired 🥲 I hope you enjoyed this though!

[passing-the-cis-test]

Introduction!

Hi everyone! I'd like go make a few well known points on this blog, such as its purpose, what it includes/will eventually, rules, and a little bit about myself.

Origins/About the Admin

The admin uses he/him pronouns and will use the online alias of Red.

This account was born from a conversation between a good friend of mine and I. I, a trans boy, have had to do so much digging and so much research, discreet things that transphobic parents won't approve of, and dove through so many loopholes that made my journey through gender dsyphoria and discovering my identity so much easier but so much harder at the same time.

I thought that if I used all that I had gathered and put it all on one platform, specifically focusing on that one thing alone, it would give other people out there what I didn't have. A bit of ease through what is already such a tough journey.

JUST TO CLARIFY!!:

This blog is safe for all umbrellas of queer or straight origin.

This blog is safe for everyone.

This blog is NOT trying to "convert" people. The "transgender agenda" that transphobes seem to stamp all of us with is nothing more than wanting to be ourselves and feel comfortable as who we are.

If you are uncomfortable with this? Please, feel free to leave. I never asked for transphobes here and I certainly don't want them to stay.

This blog WILL be providing tips and tricks for all the handsome young boys and demiboys, beautiful little ladies and demiladies, gorgeous genderfluids, incredible enbies, and all of you wonderful somewhere-in-betweens!

Just what are these tips and tricks?

Tips and tricks will include how to pass as what society deems feminine or masculine.

I do not judge if you know you are a boy and want to be feminine, I do not judge if you know you are a girl and want to be masculine.

This is not meant to enforce society's ideals of the gender separated stereotypes, but rather showing you what those are and helping you present when in an unsafe space or an unaccepting space.

But what about asks and messages?

Please do not be afraid to shoot me a message through my inbox! Anonymous messages are completely acceptable and I am fully willing to answer any questions I can.

Don't be afraid to ask overly specific questions either! It could be an advice box if you need it :)

No transphobic or homophobic asks will be tolerated. You will be blocked, reported, and never seen on my blog again. This goes for transphobic jokes, memes, news articles, claims, scientific reports, etc.

THIS IS NOT A VENTING BOX!! I'm sorry in advance to my loves who are struggling with their lives right now but in order to help you if you submit an ask in the ask box, I must answer publicly. If you need to vent, don't be afraid to send me a message. :) I am here for you all and will listen to you all.

The admin of this blog does cope with ADHD (attention deficient hyperactive disorder ie. brain zoomies zoomz and cannot focus well, gets off task easily) and autism (ie. help me with social cues please I do not understand neurotypical people) so if you could use any of these codes at the beginning of a message I would greatly appreciate it!

(vent) - you would like to vent [ this is a rather general one ]

(help) - you would like advice with something included in your message

(word vomit) - you would like to rant about something in a negative way, like you had a bad day and need to get it off your chest

(rant) - you would like to talk to someone about something good or positive that may have happened :) THESE CAN BE SUBMITTED VIA ASKS IF YOU'D LIKE TO! this kind of ask will be included under the tag #trans positivity and will be made public to spread some hope and joy :)

What will this blog include other than just advice?

This blog will include all sorts of things, pertaining specifically to transgender people, regardless of transition status 🙏❤

This is a source of information, an outlet, and a friend to go to if you need a little boost.

Remember that I love you all, and you are all good people. No matter what others may say to you.

(P.S. please don't be afraid to repost screenshots on pinterest or other websites, I want this to reach as many people as it can 🙏🙏 this blog is only meant to help)

[sleepywisteriah]

That post I reblogged a moment ago really hit hard, sorry about the rant ahead, but I wanna get it off my chest.

I have such a fear of losing the few friends Ive recently made, and the friends from before then as well, that its been eating away at my mental health for the last year or 2, it’s been causing me to consistently overthink my own actions/choice of words etc, I know I can be fairly quiet a lot of the time too, which I’m starting to understand is a part of that fear, “If I don’t talk to them, I have no one to get attached to or lose” and general anxiety related stuff as well “are they a nice person” “will they ghost me like others did when I did nothing wrong?” The list goes on, and on (I’m not listing all my thoughts here).

Even if someone seems like a really nice person, a huge part of me wants to instantly befriend them and a lot of the time I ignore that feeling, scared of being hurt again, scared of being tossed to one side.

I know I’ve recently reached out to some people who I’m still getting to know, and luckily so far so good, but I’m scared I’m being annoying or being a bit much in general (seriously, please tell me if I am, it really does help), putting FFXIV/social media to one side, I’m much different in person, I only talk to family or if I really have to, I don’t really talk to anyone else anymore (I’m not counting discord calls for this since it’s not exactly in person), so for example, I had my partner and 2 of our friends visit me a few days ago and even though I felt really happy and wanted to talk as much as possible to them, I couldn’t, I ended up being more quiet than I hoped.

Discord is another example, if I’m in a call with just the one person, I’m fairly chatty, but the quietness is still very noticeable, but I try to push through it, add one or 2 more people to the call, I may as well mute my mic cause it’s not being used, but I don’t cause I’ll get questioned about it, I’d rather listen to the conversation, that’s around the time my anxiety kicks off and I start overthinking, wondering if I’m boring them by not saying anything,

Sorry again for the rant, I needed to vent about this whole thing somewhere I felt safe.

[littleprincessfawn]

t.w. cancer, medical, leukemia

Thought I would start using this Tumblr again because I have recently been diagnosed with leukemia. Specifically chronic myeloid leukemia. And I need somewhere to vent about it that won't be hard or painful for my friends and family.

I'm lucky in that so far it seems like it will be treatable, medicine has been developed. I might not even need to have chemo. 30 years ago my type of leukemia was pretty much a death sentence, but because of that the doctors worked hard and eventually came up with a medicine, tyran kinase (I may have gotten that word wrong) inhibitors, TKIs, that block the message my leukemia cells are sending to reproduce and crowd out my bone marrow and blood with faulty white blood cells. That's my current understanding.

It's been not very long at all. I got really sick with bad migraine headaches at the end of January, but it had slowly been getting bad for awhile. A random medical course of events set connected like a daisy chain that led to me sitting in a neurologists office on the 21st of February 2024 hearing the words 'Philadelphia Chromosome' 'myeloproliferative disorders' 'leukaemia' 'must see a haemotologist right away, as soon as you can'. It's not been one instant diagnosis though instead it's been an unfolding diagnosis, like a flower opening to reveal inner petals. Currently it seems likely to be CML in the chronic (early/asymptomatic stage). But I will find out in 3 days, on the 6th of March, what I have and what stage it is at. 2 days ago I had my first ever bone marrow biopsy, which was pretty chill really.

I think I'm still in shock, a bit. I'm focusing on the silver linings, of which there are many: I'm probably not gonna die from this, I probably have CML and it's probably in chronic stage, I can get treatment out of a pill rather than chemo, I was diagnosed after medicine existed - not before... There's a lot to be thankful for.

But it's still frikkin leukemia. And I'm quietly scared that on Wednesday I'll be told, oh sorry actually it's much worse than we thought and you're gonna die soon.

Either way, I'm scrappy. I'm silly little princess of sweetness BUT I am also wily and strong. I will never give up and I will fight tooth and nail til the end. I'm not the kind to refuse treatment and die with dignity, screw dignity, I want life.

The main reason I'm going to live is because I have a child that I love with all my heart. The second reason is just for myself, I like the world and I wanna become an old wrinkly lady who has lots of goats and books.

I'm trying to stay positive, and I'm succeeding. I'm also in the weird position of needing to tell my close family and friends but also comfort them at the same time. I've gone into crisis mode wanting to protect everyone from me, from this.

I'm okay really. But it is a lot.

[heartsaligned-a]

@heavenslapse yu & akira at a cute little café 🍓

     Aoyama wasn’t an area Akira had ever spent much time outside of school. Despite growing up with a considerable amount of money, the district made him feel weirdly out of place, as though he didn’t quite belong. The Shujin students still did their part to make him feel like that outcast, but it wasn’t just their whispers behind his back that made him feel awkward. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but his misgivings were just a tiny drop in the raging ocean of his ever-expanding problems. 

     Stress clung to him like a second skin, following him in every waking moment. His dreams, too, had begun to weigh on his soul, and as the days grew colder Akira couldn’t help but wonder what might happen if everything went wrong. He was seventeen, still a child in the eyes of the world, but too old to be considered someone to protect. Slipping through the cracks, taking on more than he could ever hope to shoulder, and looking to ease everyone’s pain all at the same time. How had the world come to rest in his hands? Why was it up to him, and just who had decided he would play the hero? The mysterious man with the long nose? Or was it something beyond that, some cruel twist of fate?

     He really had no idea what to make of it all, never had, but he had never let it stop him. These powers had come to him for a reason, and rather than let someone else take the lead, he had accepted it gracefully. Being able to help people seemed like a blessing more than a curse. There was a light inside of him that precious few people could see, but Akira could feel it growing, shining through the cracks in his armor, his mask. If he wasn’t careful he would shatter, and he knew it; one fatal misstep would destroy everything they had worked for. But he was careful, or so he thought. People needed him. How could he let them down now, after all they had been through?

     The tedious chatter of the café blended into the background as Akira poked idly at the strawberry roll cake on his plate, the entire display cloyingly sweet and extravagant. Although it wasn’t nearly as expensive as the hotel buffet he had spent time at, the ambience was similar enough to evoke unpleasant memories, bitter thoughts that turned his stomach and killed his appetite--not that he had felt particularly hungry to begin with. His usual single meal of the day had been replaced by small snacks if anything, but the slight drop in weight had gone unnoticed. A couple of pounds wasn’t very obvious on someone with Akira’s build, someone who was already a little too lean, and that small amount of weight would hardly matter if he got himself killed at the end of their next operation. So why should he worry about it? No one else seemed to be, after all.

     I should apologize, he thought, pulling the strawberry slice from the top of his whipped cream. Yu had been willing to talk to him, using his free time to meet with an odd teenager, and Akira hadn’t even been a good conversational partner. It wasn’t uncommon, of course, for Akira to remain mostly silent; he was a listener, not a talker. People vented to him about their problems, cried on his shoulder, and when they stopped for breath he would jump to say just the right thing to assuage their fears. Even the man meant to be counseling him looked to him for help. Sometimes Akira couldn’t help but wonder if he ought to become a therapist after graduating.

     The words ‘I’m sorry’, however, seemed to get stuck somewhere in his throat. Feeling more and more uneasy, Akira dropped his fork with a small clatter, earning himself a nasty look from the booth nearby. It wasn’t the first time he had been looked at as though he didn’t belong. He was sure it wouldn’t be the last 

[koishua]

hi vienna ,, tbh u dont need to read this bc idk if itd be triggering (body image issues) and id rather u not trouble urself bc of me but id like to vent somewhere and i dont have any1 to talk 2 so pls feel free to ignore .

ive always been overweight for my age but i never faced any bullying abt it other than some very occasion name calling of "fat" in elementary school and my family's disaproval for the way i look. as i grew up, i started to feel more comfortable around others despite not being satisfied with the way i look and i assumed that as kids mature they become more accepting, bc i had never been truly bullied b4 i just assumed it might be rare in communities such as where i lived compared to some of the horror stories i had heard. anyways all my life i had assumed people had been seeing me for more than what i looked like, i always tried to be kind and make a good impression on other but ig that's not true. as much as i love my circle of friends, im not sure i can see them same after what happened on friday. it isnt even their fault, i just feel very insecure now. but basically in 1 of my classes, we had a change in seating so i no longer sat near my friends but 2 acquantainces (they're rlly sweet girls but idk them too well) and this one guy that i also dont know very well other than that in 8th grade he had dated an old friend of mine for a little bit. but anywyas tbh i feel like im just being dramatic but i srsly can't get his conversation out of my mind . the boy was sat next to me and talking to his friend, their convo alr starting off on a wierd note abt kanye west. and the guy next to me (ill call him ray to make it easy) starts off by saying that kanye's note all that bad and has said some pretty true things. ray then goes on to say that fat people dont deserve to exist and body positivity is a completely stupid subject bc it only encourages obesity and unhealthy habits. all the while he's saying this, seated right next to me and im pretty sure he was glancing at me while saying it too . those 90 minutes were the most uncomfortable in my entire life. i was literally panicking while he was talking abt it and it's all that i can think of now. their conversation was truly disturbing to me and my confidence feels as if its completely tanked . his comments of "fat people are gross" and "being fat shouldnt be celebrated" keep ringing in my head everytime i go out or see myself in a mirror. i genuinely feel so broken and it hurts that theyve probably dont realize the effect of their words but also it hurts that that's all they can see me as. not another human being or a classmate but just "fat". idk where im going with this but i dont feel ok and i feel so exhausted now ,, just the thought of having to see ray's face again or hear his voice is scaring me . maybe im just overthinking but i cant help but wonder if my friends picture me the same way. am i even deserving of love if im so "ugly" . my friends sometimes comment that i look way older than my age or that i could pass for college aged and even comments like those are hard to brush off for me. sometimes i wonder if i should restrain my jokes and personality to stay kind bc that's all i am to them. just a source of comfort, and if i dont do that then i could be easily execused. im always scared of saying the wrong thing but now i keep wondering if it would never even matter bc all anyone will ever see me as is "fat" . it's not like i haven't tried to lose weight so i rlly hate everything that ray said and its srsly put me thru sm turmoil . anyways i shld keep this brief (sorry for the rant) and im sorry again for using ur inbox to rant , i rlly hope this doesn't cause you any pain or you find it triggering :( i apologize if it has caused you any concern or pain. i hope ur good and stay happy vie

tw: body image and weight talk

hello, dear :( let me start this off by saying that don't worry, i am perfectly alright and am glad that you feel it's safe enough to vent and write your feelings out in my inbox. you don't have to apologize for anything! i am the one who says that they're open if anyone needs to rant or vent. i would never judge. i had to read this a few times in order to collect my thoughts, so pardon me for delaying this a bit. i wasn't sure if you wanted my direct response, so i will just keep it short.

i won't say that i completely understand what you've been through and i can't speak on experiences i haven't personally lived through. however, as another human being, i will say this: you absolutely deserve to exist. i hope you never ever doubt that. i know how difficult it is to deal with comments about your appearance and it angers me so much that you're treated this way. i get how the side comments every now and then feels. bullying is horrible, but this is just as bad for someone's self esteem and health. im truly so sorry and wish i could do something for you, but i can't because of obvious reasons (that being me being just an online presence and not there with you).

i just want to reassure you that no matter what anyone says, you deserve love and life and goodness. a lot of people don't understand how difficult it is when you don't weigh below a certain number or how isolated that could make someone feel regardless if they're mentioned or not. everyone is so much more than just their appearance. idk how else i could help you other than to strongly remind you that you are you and that should be enough for your friends and that people should learn to keep their mouths shut on their opinions about other people's appearance. it doesn't matter if you lose the weight or if you tell them you struggle a lot with it. those people should reassess the way they're treating another human being with real feelings and thoughts. never lose who you are and trying to be what other people need and want you to be. it may end up making things worse, i know, and im not sure if you've ever told them directly that their words are extremely rude and hurtful and that they should stop, but someone (even if it's not you yourself) really, really should.

i pray that none of what i said has further upset you in any way. if so, i sincerely apologize :( i genuinely hope that this never happens to you again and that you'll have a greater year than ever and that you'll find wholehearted acceptance and love from those you are surrounded by and that you'll slowly but surely feel comfortable in your own skin. take care and you're loved! people like the ray you mentioned are not worth feeling bad over.

[carelesswispe]

heya! can I request how Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, and Yuri would court their crush? headcannons and fluff please :") also if there a character limit? (if you can't do Yuri, please replace him with Ashe) ty in advance </3

- 🍙

thank you for requesting! i had a lot of fun writing this ask and sorry if this took a little longer than expected ;; nevertheless, i hope you enjoyed this, jelly filled donut anon!

>genre: fluff with some angst if you squint (mostly for dimitri and edelgard's part)

>warnings: slight mentions of fighting, slight spoilers for the events of fire emblem three houses, some angst

>pairings: dimitri x reader (gn), edelgard x reader (gn), claude x reader (gn), yuri x reader (gn)

Dimitri

Hh he's the loml

I feel like he would only start to court anyone after the five-year timeskip due to the guilt of the tragedy Duscur and the pent up emotions he’s kept bottled up. The fact that he hasn’t overcome his trauma would probably give him the need to distance himself from the one he has feelings with <\\3

Of course, no one’s able to resist the pull of love and despite his irrational thoughts that tell him to distance himself from you, the thoughts that tell him to stay with you were stronger, the feeling that you give him was like a breath of fresh air in the suffocating miasma of his guilt and trauma which gave him the strength to carry on.

But once the war is finally over and he’s sorted out his feelings for you, the first thing he would do is to see you; to finally let you know how he feels...and maybe even propose you to stay by his side forever--

As for courting you, after so many years of killing and brutal murder, I think that Dimitri would be quite awkward in expressing his feelings for you, after having bottled them up for so long.

He would get flustered easily from the little things you do or say to him but still deliver the smoothest compliments as if it was second nature. Just like he always has in the academy, if not, smoother.

If you were to bring this up to him, he would try to deny it with a flushed face, causing him to be hyper-aware of the little things that he used to say with a nonchalant attitude from then on...how adorable

Dimitri is probably not the most romantic man with having basically no experience with relationships and all and would resort to consulting, albeit after much pestering, Sylvain for relationship advice.

It was quite cute though, seeing this grown man trying to be romantic but failing, looking like a teen with his first crush. Although, that may not be far from the truth.

Of course, after failing to pull off any of the ridiculous date ideas Sylvain proposed to him for the umpteenth time, Dimitri decided to do things his own way, even if it meant stumbling around like a newborn deer.

Dimitri’s idea of a romantic date is probably a bit odd...after all, this is coming from the same man who thought that a dagger is a great parting gift. He would take you to shop around for things you might like, wanting to show you that he would grant you anything you desired. And...while he’s at it, he might buy you a weapon of your liking--

After shopping, he’d treat you to a meal while you’re at it. Although he may not care for the flavours of food, seeing you eat your favorite foods with a delighted expression is enough to make the food that much more appetizing.

Being a king, Dimitri would most likely be very busy, filling up paperwork and all and so going out often isn’t something he could afford to do. In order to make up for that, the free time that he does get is all spent with you. Even for a little while, being with you does take away some of the stress that comes with the amount of responsibility on his shoulders.

Whether it be sharing a cup of tea or simply enjoying yourselves in each other’s company, Dimitri is satisfied to spend any time with you

Edelgard

Similar to Dimitri, I feel like Edelgard wouldn’t want to think about feelings of love so soon as long as she hasn’t fulfilled her mission since she wouldn’t want to let her emotions to obstruct her conquest at all, as baseless as those worries might be

However, this doesn’t mean that she would be able to control these feelings of hers with perfect success. After all, try as she might, she’s still a human

Even though she can deny her feelings for you, she can’t deny the comfort your company gives her

Having tea together or even just spending any amount of time with you gives her the break she needs from her burdens she’s imposed upon herself and in times like these, it reminds her of the people she wants to be stronger to protect

Conversations with her mostly consist of her plans and motivations for her cause but outside of that, she also enjoys being able to indulge herself in some much needed rest and she feels like she could share anything with you.

Well, perhaps not her family history but she finds herself revealing the sides that she hid from the public.

Occasionally, she would vent out her feelings of frustration to you, perhaps impersonating and imitating the words of the person who had irritated her

Even if it’s for a little while, she finds herself being able to act like a child or to let loose without fear of being judged around you and it reminds her that she’s not alone in this conquest of hers. And that fact alone comforts her. If you’re by her side, even the rockiest of roads seem like a cake walk as long as you’re here for her.

After the war, she would subtly propose a future with the two of you where you and her could pave the way for the new future of the empire. And when you don’t get what she’s hinting at, she would just throw whatever inhibitions she had out of the window and just tell you in a more direct fashion

Although she fears rejection, she’d rather say out her feelings than to keep it trapped for any longer.

As the emperor, Edelgard is very busy. Despite this, for some reason, she finds herself sneaking away from Hubert’s unrelenting supervision from time to time just to spend time with you.

She finds herself giving the pettiest excuses to go on a date with you whenever her tight schedule has even the tiniest opening.

To her, spending time with you reminds her that she is not only Edelgard Von Hresvelg, the Emperor but El.

However, on occasions where she is unable to slip away from her aide’s watchful eye or whenever she has to go on a trip where she will be away from you for long periods of time, as soon as she is freed from her duties, she will immediately come see you, hopefully plan a vacation together away from all her responsibilities, even for a little while.

Speaking of vacations, this will be a regular occurrence between the two of you. Such vacations range from going out of the empire for some sightseeing to a simple staycation, relishing in each other’s company.

Claude

Unlike the previous two, I feel like Claude, although not necessarily looking for a relationship before the timeskip, he wouldn’t be too opposed to the idea if he falls in love.

But maybe if it's before the timeskip, the relationship between the two of you would be more casual than anything, just enjoying the moment rather than looking into the future. Of course, he would like to spend the rest of his days with you but it's more of a matter of whether that could be possible or not due to the uncertainty of the future.

Dates before the timeskip would consist of fun little lunch dates in the cafeteria, hanging out to the library afterwards.

Most of your dates together were spontaneous, Claude being the one to initiate it first.

Like you two could be chilling, minding your own business, being content in each others’ presence one minute and pranking the entirety of the monastery in another.

Every time the two of you got together, everyone started to go on full alert mode, fully expecting an explosion somewhere or something along the lines of that. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time…

After the timeskip, dates with him don’t really change much...on the surface. In reality, Claude puts more effort into each date, not that he hadn’t before.

It’s just that now, the more time he spends with you, the more certain he is that he wants you to stay by his side, forever.

These dates were comparatively tame as compared to before the timeskip, with him being more mature and responsible now, not wanting to take unnecessary risks now that he’s seen many of his followers come and go, he wouldn’t want you to be like them.

Expect calm candlelit dinners for most of the dates since he tries to reserve the evening for you, maybe going on a stroll around the kingdom, checking up on the state of his citizens with you.

Right, speaking of dinners, during dinner, he would tell the most interesting stories of times when he left the kingdom for important matters and you weren’t able to come along, often bringing home a trinket of sorts which reminded him of you.

I feel like on these trips, he would just pick up random stuff that caught his eye and thought you’d might like, looking forward to seeing your expression upon receiving his gift to you. He gets a little too excited sometimes and goes...overboard, buying WAY too much. On the bright side, now that you got him all fired up, he’ll do his best to rush home to you.

As much as possible, he invites you to go with him to the many many festivals in the kingdom just so that you wouldn’t get bored with just eating out with him. (not that you ever would) and plus, he enjoys seeing the different stalls and booths set up with you.

Yuri

Yuri is quite hard to get close to since he’s the leader of the underworld and all. And even if you do, he puts up a ridiculously high wall when he feels as if you take an interest in him in something other than a friend.

All these years of distrust had given him no choice but to surround himself with various walls. And should you try to break down these walls, he would panic and distance himself from you, anything to make you realise that he shouldn’t be the one to receive your affection. Classic romance novel moment

Of course, you persist and stay there for him anyway, maybe only just pushing it but not to the point where it gets uncomfortable for him. After the years, going through tough situations with you by his side especially when he needed it the most, without realising it, he had a spot for you on his previously cold heart. Maybe it had always been there, maybe not, he didn’t really know anymore.

When you two finally go out together, it comes out as something that was going to happen anyway to the other members of the Ashen Rats Wolves who, don’t even bother to act surprised, come on, even Constance saw it coming, Yuri, you didn’t fool anybody.

Dates with Yuri are always new and exciting, going out on undercover missions together, travelling across Fódlan. Yuri tries to discourage you from coming along because of the danger of each one of his missions but the more he refuses, the more you insist so after a while, he gets the hint that he won’t be able to stop you and eventually just invites you whenever he has to go on long missions without having you finding out about it on your own.

As much as he cares about each and every single one of his subjects in the underworld, being the lord of the underground isn’t exactly the most relaxing or safest job out there and sometimes he just needs a break from all that. Luckily, you’re there to give him some peace of mind. Just by having you by his side, he feels as if he’s transported into another world, a reverie away from all the dangers of his job. Even a protector needs someone to protect him, you know? And he trusts you. He trusts that you would always be there to protect him. Since you were there for him through thick and thin all this time.

You both got each other’s backs

(i wrote WAY too much for Yuri since man i had a wild Yuri phase and i still do and i am just RELIVING IT as i write this)

[harleysarchive]

To Fall in Love | Charles Leclerc

Fandom: Formula one Warning: None, quite long around 4500 words, but I didn’t want it to end😂  Pairing: Charles Leclerc x f!reader, slightly Daniel Ricciardio x f!reader Summary: You and Charles are slowly falling in love with each other.

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A/N: prompts 22 and 23 from Screnwriters list . I had a bliss writing this, really pouring out my fangirl feelings for F1 at the moment. So sorry in advance for the mushiness. PLEASE correct my french sentences if I have written them wrong, it’s been ages since I studied it. 

You had just started to work for McLaren’s formula one team, and you were a personal assistant for Lando and Daniel. You really loved your job and the boys were amazing to work with, even after they had had a bad race. They loved you back equally as much. You and Lando had gotten very close during the different races, because he felt like he could vent out his feelings before or after a race to you without feeling judged. He needed that from time to time. 

Right now the biggest competition was Ferrari, because McLaren was currently ahead of them on the leaderboard. Which made the team, and you, extremely happy. It felt good to be ahead of such a great team. 

You were helping them before the race and went to get a bottle of water for Lando and Daniel. You were so focused that you didn’t look where you were going and you walked right into someone. 

“I’m so sorry.” you said and looked up to meet a pair of mesmerizing hazel eyes looking back at you.

“No worries at all.” he said and you instantly recognized him. It was Charles freaking Leclerc, one of the Ferrari drivers. Your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks turn red. 

“I did not see you and my mind was somewhere else a-and...” you rambled. He smiled, making his dimples visible for you and you felt your heart tug slightly.

“It’s fine, really.” 

He looked at you and you almost felt drawn in by his eyes. You didn’t want to break eye contact. But you quickly realized why you had gotten there in the first place and grabbed the water bottles and left Charles with a confused expression on his face. You hurried back to the garage and gave Lando and Daniel their water bottles.

“You look rather flustered (Y/N), what happened back there?” Daniel asked, which made your cheeks turn even more red.

“N-nothing.” you stuttered and tried to breath slowly through your nose to calm yourself down. It wasn’t even the first time that you had seen Charles, but it was the first time you had talked to him and been so close to him. But what you didn’t understand was, why did you react like a schoolgirl talking to her crush for the first time? 

Daniel gave you a look that said he did not believe what you were saying. You didn’t want to look at him to reveal even more of your flustered state and they didn’t have time to pry anyway because the race was soon about to start. 

You walked over to the room where they showed the game on a big screen and the camera glanced over the drivers and you felt your cheeks became flustered again when the camera passed number 16, Charles number. Then the race started. All of the McLaren team sat on the egde of their seats, hoping for a good race for Lando and Daniel.  

All of you were ecstatic over the fact that Lando landed on P3 and when the cars returned to the garage he ran up to you and hugged you tightly.

“P3!!”

“Can you believe it?” You screamed back with as much enthusiasm as he did when he came back from the race. 

“Not really.” he beamed with the biggest smile on his face. You were so proud of him.

“You are amazing, Lando.” you said and hugged him again. 

“What, no hugs for the P6 contestant?” Daniel asked when he had gotten out of his car.

“Of course.” you said and hugged him. He tightened the hug lightly just for you to notice and you made a mental note about it. Odd. He had never really asked about hugs before, why now all of a sudden? 

“You did great as well today, Daniel.” you said and smiled at him. He already had his signature smile on his face.

“Thank you, I did it because I knew you were watching.” he said winking at you and you just rolled your eyes.

“Now go you two. You stink.” 

Daniel just laughed and he and Lando left. Lando had to get ready for the podium and you got ready to join the team back there in just a few minutes. 

You stood by yourself outside the McLaren building and watched people go by, either talking to others or looking intensely into their phones. 

“Hello again.” you heard a voice say beside you and you turn around to see Charles stand there. Your eyes widened again, but more this time in surprise that he was here by the McLaren building and that he was speaking to you. 

“Hi.” you said, thankful that you could answer him without being a stuttering mess and you could feel your cheeks become red. 

“You left in such a hurry that I didn’t quite get your name.”

“Oh, it’s (Y/N).” 

“Well, nice to meet you (Y/N). I’m Charles.” he said and held out a hand for you to shake. 

“I know.” you said and shook his hand. But you wanted a hole in the ground to swallow you whole over that comment. Why did you have to tell him that you knew his name?

He just laughed, making his dimples visible again and your heart did that tugging thing again, what was up with that?

“You did great today, P4 is amazing.” you said, breaking eye contact with him to not get even more flustered than you already were. 

“Thank you, but I would’ve liked the P3 spot, but I’m happy for Lando.” 

“Yeah, he put up a good fight.”

You looked at Charles again and his eyes had been on you since he saw you standing here alone. He had felt weird after you had just left him in such a hurry before and he couldn’t quite figure out why. So, when he saw you again standing here by yourself, he had to at least know your name. Charles was just about to ask you something when you heard Lando call for you as he was on his way to the podium. You called back that you were on your way.

“Sorry, but I have to go.”

“No worries.”

And once again you left Charles in such a hurry and again he felt confused. But not the same confusion as before, now he was confused by his thoughts and feelings. His mind was asking him so many questions. Why hadn’t he noticed you before? How long have you been working for McLaren? What did you do for them? He wanted to know more about you. He felt like he almost needed to know more about you. 

You ran to the crowd of the McLaren team and you spotted Daniel waving at you to get over to him. You walked past some of the mechanics and stood next to Daniel.

“Hey, you.” He said and winked at you. 

“Hi.” you said smiling and ignored his wink. 

“You look flustered again, are you sure nothing is happening to you?” he asked again.

“I’m fine, but thanks for your concern Daniel.” 

The two of you cheered when Lando got up on the podium and you almost felt yourself tearing up when you saw how happy he was up there. He had worked so hard to get it and he honestly deserved it. You looked around in the cheering crowd and in the distance by the side of the podium you saw Charles again. He was looking directly at you. You smiled and waved at him, which caught Daniel’s attention so he followed your gaze and saw what it was you were looking at, or more whom. Charles had waved back at you with a small smile on his face.

“Ah now I understand why you have been so flustered all of a sudden.” Daniel smirked.

“Huh?”

“You have a crush on Charles, don’t ya?”

“No.” You said way too fast for it to sound believable. Daniel just gave you a knowing smile. You just rolled your eyes at him. 

“No, I don’t. The first time I accidently walked into him, when I was grabbing water for you and Lando. Which made me feel embarrassed because I walked into him and now we were just talking a bit.”

“And why were you flustered about talking to him?”

You couldn’t come up with an answer without feeling your cheeks burn again. Daniel laughed and pulled you closer to him and all you did was pout over his silliness. He glanced to the side to see if Charles was still looking at you. He was, which made Daniel feel a slight joy in his chest knowing that Charles had witnessed the move he just did.

Charles, on the other hand, had felt something sting inside of him when he saw Daniel bring you closer to him and he didn’t like it. He turned around and walked towards the Ferrari building, feeling quite grumpy and annoyed. 

Daniel felt a smirk grow on his face when he saw Charles leave and you were so close to him. Lando got down from the podium drenched in champagne and with a big smile plastered over his face. He hugged the team and they cheered for him. He kissed the trophy he had gotten and then turned to you and you knew exactly what he was gonna do.

“Noooo.” you said and tried to back away from him but you felt Daniel holding your wrists so you couldn’t move.

“Oh it’s coming love, just embrace the stickiness and smell of champagne and sweat.” Daniel said, trying his hardest to keep you still as Lando came closer.

“NooooOOOOO.” you shrieked as Daniel let you go so Lando could hug you. You felt champagne and sweat stick to your clothes and hair. 

“Ewwh. Not nice, not nice.”

“Now you know how we feel.” Lando joked with a grin on his face. 

“I could’ve lived my whole life without knowing how that felt and now I have to get changed.” 

You pushed Lando away and tried to look as angry as you could at the both of them. But that didn’t last very long, because you were too happy for Lando. 

“Hey, are you coming with us to dinner tonight?” Lando asked.

“What dinner?”

“It's a dinner for the drivers, the bosses, and some of the employees tonight, but I’m sure we can bring you with us. You are a part of the McLaren team.” Lando answered.

You bit your lip, thinking about this dinner. Maybe Charles will be there? You shook your head at the thought.

“So, that’s a no?” Lando said and you could hear the disappointment in his voice.  

“No, no. It is a yes.” you said and the two boys beamed with excitement.

“But you two are telling Zak that you are bringing me along tonight, while I go get something appropriate for tonight. What time is it?”

“It’s around seven but we leave the hotel at 6.30, so be ready before that.” Daniel answered.

“Good, I’ll see you after six.” you said and started to walk towards the parking lot to get a taxi to your hotel room. 

“(Y/N)!” 

You heard the familiar voice call for you but you didn’t quite believe it at first. Knowing your mind can play tricks on you. But when you felt a presence beside you, you turned around to see Charles stand there.

“Hey again.” he said with a smile on his face and he looked at your shirt. “What happened to you?”

“Lando, he likes to hug when it’s the least appropriate time for a hug. So now I smell of champagne and sweat.” 

Charles laughed and you felt a smile growing onto your face. His laugh made your heart tug again. 

“Are you heading back to the hotel?” he asked.

“I am, I need a shower and some new clothes.”

“I can drive you if you want.” 

“No need, she already has a driver.” you heard Daniel say behind you. He and Lando had just asked Zak for permission to bring you along tonight, which he thought was absolutely fine. You could see Charles' posture stiffen and his look hardened when he saw Daniel stand next to you. You felt a little uncomfortable by the situation.

“Okay, well I guess I see you around.” Charles said and left the two of you alone. You turned to Daniel.

“What was that all about?”

“What was what about?”

“You know what I mean Daniel.”

“Is it wrong of me to want to drive you to the hotel?” Daniel asked and unlocked his car. 

“No, but it feels like there is something else going on.” you said and jumped into the passenger seat. He started the car and you could hear the engine roar and the music started to play. 

“You just wanted to be driven by your crush.”

“I don’t have a crush on Charles.” you said and you started to wonder, why was Daniel being so overprotective of you all of a sudden? 

“Besides, I have to make sure that he doesn’t snatch you over to Ferrari. What would we do without you?” he said, looking at you, but you just rolled your eyes. But what you missed when doing so was the look Daniel gave you. He felt true worry that Charles would snatch you away from him, and Lando. 

The two of you talked as normal during the ride to the hotel and Daniel kept on cracking jokes to make you laugh. It was the best thing he knew, your laugh and your smile. It could make his shitty day turn around and he felt happy again. He parked by the hotel entrance and the two of you got out of the car and walked into the hotel and into the elevator.

“See you in the lobby in a while?” you asked when you got to your floor. 

“Sounds good.” he said and the two of you seperated. You hurried to your room to get ready. You were so nervous over this dinner that you could die, but you were so excited as well. Imagining yourself showing up there with all the important people, and hopefully Charles would be there as well. You opened the door to your hotel room and rushed into the shower. Then while your hair was drying you looked for an outfit and got yourself ready before the clock struck six. You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time and felt butterflies in your stomach when you remembered where you were heading. You put on your shoes and you were five minutes late.

Perfect, you thought and headed towards the lobby. You were also nervous for Lando and Daniel to see you all dressed up. They had only really seen you in your work outfit, casual wear, or some comfy outfits when you were traveling together, but this was a whole different story. The elevator door opened and you pressed for the lobby. 

Lando and Daniel were talking to each other when Lando’s eyes widened his eyes. His stare made Daniel wonder what was going on so he turned around and saw you coming from the elevator. You looked absolutely breathtaking and both of them just stood there with their mouths slightly open and eyes locked at you. 

“Hey guys” you said and you could feel their gaze on you. “How do I look?”

“Absolutely gorgeous, (Y/N).” Lando said and Daniel just nodded his head. You smiled at them. You talked for a while before it was time to leave.

“Shall we go.”

They smiled and you linked your arms with theirs and headed towards a taxi that waited for you. Zak was already waiting for you in the taxi. 

The ride over to the venue was pleasant, all four of you talked and joked together. When you arrived the waiter’s offered all of you a beverage of your choice. You looked around and all the drivers and bosses were there. You saw Max talking to Christian and Daniel soon joined them, Lewis and Toto discussing something not super serious because they were laughing, and Lando asked if it was okay from him to go talk to George.

“Of course.” you said and Lando walked over to the Williams driver. 

You let your eyes wander again and glanced over by the bar and you saw… your heart made a jump and butterflies were going nuts in your stomach… you saw Charles and Pierre joking with each other. He hadn’t noticed you yet, but you could see his dimples when he smiled over something Pierre said. You smiled to yourself, feeling the butterflies coming back. 

Pierre's eyes wandered around the room and locked eyes with you. You avoided his gaze, because he had caught you staring at them. You could feel yourself become flustered and focused on the drink in your hand.  

“Wow, she looks gorgeous.” he said which made Charles follow Pierre’s gaze. He almost choked on air when he saw you here and how beautiful you looked in your outfit. You felt eyes on you so you looked up to meet Charles' gaze. You smiled at him and gave him a little wave. Charles left Pierre by the bar and went straight to you. Pierre gave him a puzzled look but Charles didn’t care.

“Hey.” he said when he reached you.

“Hello again.”

“I didn’t know you would be here tonight.” 

“I wasn't, but Lando and Daniel invited me so here I am.”

You and Charles looked into each other's eyes, but broke off the stares when you heard the host announce everyone welcome and to enjoy the evening. Everyone clapped their hands and continued with their conversations as if nothing had happened.

“Do you want a drink?” Charles asked.

“I would love to.” you answered. You would be needing it to calm down your nerves. He placed his hand on your lower back to lead you towards the bar and Pierre, who was still standing there with a more amused look on his face now. You were very aware of where his hand was and his warmth felt so comforting. 

“(Y/N), this is Pierre. Pierre this is (Y/N).”

“Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N).” he said and shook your hand.

“The pleasure is all mine. You are an excellent driver.”

“Thank you very much.” Pierre smiled.

“So, what can I offer you to drink?” Charles interrupted, which made Pierre laugh. He hadn’t seen Charles act like this over someone before. 

“Champagne if you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all.”

“Vous êtes un connaisseur?” Pierre asked.  

“Well champagne is one of the few drinks that I enjoy and don’t get a nasty hangover from.” you answered.

“You speak french?” Charles asked as he handed you a glass of champagne. It tasted amazing and the bubbles went straight to your head, making you feel more confident.

“I studied it in school for five yeas but I can barely manage a conversation.” 

The two boys laughed at your statement. 

You continued to talk to Pierre and Charles for a while, explaining what you did for McLaren and they talked about themselves and racing - of course. Pierre heard someone call for him so he left you and Charles to yourself. He gave Charles a knowing look, which you didn’t notice but made Charles blush a bit.

“You look beautiful tonight.” he said, taking a sip from his drink. 

“Thank you, and you look great as well. But you always do.” 

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?! you screamed at your brain, luckily for you Charles just smiled and blushed a bit. 

“Thank you.” he said, trying his best not to blush even more. He looked at you, examining your face and features. Your eye color, hair color and smile. It made him feel warm inside and he couldn’t deny the butterflies going wild in his stomach. How your outfit fitted you perfectly and how lovely your personality was. He was used to people making themselves better or fake around him to impress him. But it hardly worked because their true colors always showed in the end, but you were genuine. He liked that a lot about you. Your eyes met and you could feel how you were moving closer to him, until you heard a voice calling for you.

“(Y/N)! Come over here.” Daniel called, which made you take a deep breath. Why did he have to interrupt right freaking now? Classic Daniel. 

“I’ll be there in a minute.” you answered back and turned your attention back to Charles. He had a disappointed look on his face and his smile was gone. 

“I’ll see you around, Charles.” you said, not sounding too happy to leave him.

“Of course.” he said, as you were about to leave he grabbed your hand. Which he realized he did and he didn’t intend to do that. His surprised expression over his action made his cheek turn bright.

“A-are you coming for next week's race?” he stuttered, not letting go of your hand. You rubbed your thumb over his hand, making him melt on the inside.

“Of course. I’ll be in the McLaren building.” you answered and let go of his hand. He felt a mix of happiness and jealousy over your answer. Happy that you would be there, but jealous over the fact that you worked for McLaren and not for Ferrari. He imagined how it would be if you worked for Ferrari so he didn’t notice Sebastian coming up to him.

“So, who is the lucky lady that has the Charles Leclerc weak in the knees?” he joked.

“(Y/N), she works for McLaren.” Charles confessed, there was no denying it anymore and not to Sebastian. Pierre joined them too.

“I knew that you had a thing for her after the look you gave her before. God, I thought you would drool all over the place.” Pierre said and Charles just pushed him on the arm and rolled his eyes. He watched you as you conversed with Daniel. He had introduced you to Max and the Redbull team and Daniel had one hand on your lower back.This caused Charles to feel that sting of jealousy again and his facial expression couldn’t hide it either. Pierre looked over to see why he looked like he had sucked on a lemon.

“Ah.” was all he could say, because he knew exactly what he was feeling. “Jealousy is a cruel emotion, mon ami.”

Charles just huffed and turned away to talk to Pierre and Sebastian. You were talking to Max about the race today.

“Congratulations on your victory today, you were fantastic.” you said to Max.

“Thank you so much. It felt amazing to win here in Italy.” Max said and took a sip from his drink. “When did you start working for Daniel and why didn’t you work for us on Redbull?”

“I started this winter actually, so I’m quite new to the formula one world, but it has been a great time so far and I really enjoy it.” you beamed making Daniel smile even more. You could feel him pull you closer and again you thought it was odd. Then the host announced that dinner was ready and the crowd started moving to the tables further away.

“Where do we sit?” you asked.

“I think you can sit wherever.” Daniel said and pulled out a chair for you. You thanked him and watched Lando come over to sit by your side.

“Not sitting with George?”

“Noo, I’m here with you remember, and I want to eat together with you.” he said and smiled at you as he sat down next to you. Max joined your table with Sergio Pérez. Conversation flowed throughout the evening and you and Max got along well. He cracked jokes and talked about embarrassing things Daniel had done when he was a Redbull racer, which made both you and Lando cry with laughter. You almost felt embarrassed over how hard you were laughing at Max’s jokes. Your eyes looked around to ensure that no one was looking at your table with annoyance, but no one seemed to care, except for one table. 

Charles sat two tables behind you and he could hear your laughter, which again made him feel jealous that it wasn’t him that made you laugh like that. When dinner was over Daniel and Max continued with their conversations at the table with Sergio. Lando excused himself to talk to George again and you wanted a drink.

“Excuse me for a second, gentlemen.” you said and made your way over to the bar, hoping that a certain someone would join you. 

“Can I have a glass of champagne please?” you asked the bartender and he poured you a glass and you thanked him. Once again Pierre noticed you standing alone and poked Charles with his foot under the table. Charles gave Pierre an annoyed look. Pierre made a gesture with his head for him to look over at the bar. Charles turned and saw you alone again, but he hesitated to go over to you. You locked eyes with Charles and you took a deep breath before heading his way.

“Is this seat taken?” you asked when you reached the table.

“Not at all.” Pierre said. You sat down next to Charles and opposite of Pierre. You started talking to the boys. Charles carefully put his arm around your chair and you felt your lips tug upwards over his gesture. Your chest filled with a warm feeling. As if the gods had heard your wishes, Esteban called for Pierre to talk. He excused himself to leave you and Charles alone. You turned so you were facing Charles fully.

“Are you enjoying the dinner?” you asked.

“More now honestly.” he said and you felt his thumb grace over your shoulder. The warm feeling in your chest grew even more. “But it’s been enjoyable to hang out with Pierre and the other drivers.”

“It’s so surreal to be here honestly. To see you all in the same place and not competing against each other.” 

“Well we try at least to be civil.” Charles joked and you smiled. His other hand was on the table and you laid your hand over his. He froze for a second over your action but then carefully took your hand in his and caressed it with his thumb. You went even further as to intertwine your fingers together. Charles pulled you closer with the arm resting on your shoulders and you followed. The gap between the two of you closed slowly, but as if on queue to destroy your moment, Lando called for you that it was time to leave. You felt your heart break slightly over the fact that the evening was coming to an end. You turned around to tell him that you were on your way.

“Unfortunately I have to leave.” you said sadly, meeting his eyes. Your eyes were flickering between Charles eyes and his lips, that were so close to yours. 

“But I will see you next week in Portugal, yeah?” You tried to hide the sadness in your voice as best as you could. Charles didn’t want the evening to end either but his team was also on it’s way to leave.

“Of course you will.” he said and kissed the back of your hand. You just stared in shock over his actions and your mind couldn’t comprehend what just happened or anything that just had happened. You rose from the chair with a last goodbye and walked back to Lando. You could still Charles warm lips on the back of your hand, giving you almost a burning sensation that you didn’t want to fade. 

“So you don’t have a crush on Charles, eh?” he said and nudged your side.

“No.” you said and stole one last look at him before you left. He was still watching you and it made you blush. You smiled back at him and then turned to Lando.

“Yeah, whatever you say.” Lando said again grinning like a child and the two of you left the venue. Knowing Lando you would not hear the end of this. Pierre came back to talk to Charles one last time.

“Are you in love, my friend?”

Charles let out a deep sigh and looked down at the ground with rosy cheeks, smiling like a fool. He would repeat this evening in his mind the whole week until the next time he would see you again. He knew it.

“Oui.”

But next time his mission was to get a proper kiss from you. 

A/N: Thank you for reading if you made it all the way through! 🥰

[ssa-montgomery]

hold onto me 'cause I'm a little unsteady

Word Count: 2047

Summary: Y/N's OCD is triggered while on a case and Hotch is there to help.

Characters: Hotch x GN!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, description of a panic attack, reader suffers from OCD, description of a pretty gross house, emotional hurt/comfort

A/N: Yeah so I'll be honest I'm not entirely sure what this is. It's really just a vent piece I guess, everything included in this is really just my own personal experience and probably isn't accurate for everyone. I'm not even sure if this will appeal to many people but I thought I'd post it for those who may want to read it :)

Prompt(s): "I don't care if I don't get any sleep tonight. As long as I can be there for you."

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

Masterlist

This was the worst place you'd had to search in a while, maybe not the worst on the scale of mentally scarring unsub torture houses you'd dug through but the worst in the terms of filth. It became apparent the second you walked in that keeping his house clean was not at the top of this unsubs list. There was a thick layer of dust across every surface and a mountain of plates, glasses and take away containers had been left out to mould in most rooms, the worst of it concentrated in the kitchen.

The feeling of uneasiness crept into your chest as you made your way around, conscious of your movements as you tried your best not to touch off anything. The field was no place for your anxieties and you always did your best to keep them at bay as much as you could but sometimes - times like this - something just got under your skin and you couldn't shake the feeling. The precinct received an anonymous tip naming this house as the home base of your unsub and you rode out with Morgan and Hotch to check it out.

You'd since spilt up to search around after clearing the house and you were now standing alone in the middle of what seemed to have once been a study. You made your way over to the desk to examine an old journal in hopes that it could give you some insight into the life of your unsub. The journal didn't seem helpful as you quickly skimmed over the page it was left open on, it more than likely belonged to the previous owners of the house and not your unsub at all.

You moved to turn the page over wanting to make sure there wasn't anything useful but as you did your wrist brushed against something on the table, the sudden feeling making you drop the journal back onto the table. You weren't entirely sure what it was that you'd touched but it left an uncomfortable feeling against your skin.

"Y/L/N, you alright?" You pulled your gaze away from your wrist and turned to see Hotch standing in the doorway, watching you curiously.

"I um, yeah, sorry I just I thought I found something but it's nothing." You stuttered out trying to refocus yourself on the task at hand instead of on the way your skin now felt like it was crawling, or the growing urge to run to the nearest bathroom and scrub your hands clean. Not that you'd actually be able to clean anything in this house, in fact, you guessed that the bathroom was probably in worse condition than this room.

"Okay well I think we're done here, there's nothing else we can find. It's time to head home for the night, we can regroup in the morning." That was the one good thing about this case, it was based close enough to Quantico that you could go home to your own apartment rather than to some hotel every night. You most certainly needed that right now. All you wanted to do was get home to somewhere that felt safe.

You nodded and followed Hotch downstairs as you made your way outside, staying quiet as you went. Working with profilers it was hard to keep anything a secret and most of the time someone would always pick up on it when something was wrong. You could tell that was happening now as Hotch let you walk ahead of him, his eyes watching you closely as you went. He didn't say anything, clearly not wanting to press the issue and you appreciated that.

"Y/N, ride with me." Hotch insisted once you got outside, pulling the passenger door open for you. "I'm heading your way anyway so I'll drop you home."

"Sure, thank you, Hotch." You agreed after a moment's hesitation. You were sure you wouldn't be great company with the growing panic in your chest- that only seemed to be getting worse but frustratingly slowly - but you could use the distraction.

The drive to your apartment wasn't that long, twenty minutes at max but now that you had stopped and allowed your brain a moment to catch up with itself every minute seemed to drag out forever.  Your initial fears had just continued to grow sending you into a tailspin of anxiety until it felt like it was pushing down on your chest, making it hard for you to breathe. While you'd enjoyed the silence at first it was now only making you feel worse as you had no way to shut out any of your thoughts. You were so focused on keeping your hands away from your clothes, not wanting to have to worry about changing completely once you got inside that you'd barely noticed the SUV coming to a stop.

Hotch unbuckled his seat belt and turned in his seat to face you. He must have been able to read everything that was building inside you on your face as he started to reach a hand out towards you before stopping himself, instead, resting it on the edge of your seat.

"Can I come up with?" He asked gently. "I can tell somethings wrong and I don't want to leave you alone like this."

You just nodded your head, not trusting your voice to answer him. It happened every time you spiralled into a panic attack, slowly you started to shut down until you weren't even able to speak with shaking uncontrollably. You climbed out of the car and headed towards your apartment, letting Hotch trail behind you as you went. You felt like your body was on autopilot as you reached into your bag and pulled out your keys, unlocking your door with shakey hands.

You dropped everything the second you stepped into your apartment and darted towards the bathroom leaving Hotch standing awkwardly in your hallway. Once the bathroom door shut behind you, you started the tap running the warm water over your hands. You scrubbed where your wrist had touched against the object, rinsing the soap away before repeating the process again and again until the repetition finally started to calm your nerves.

It was enough to stop the feeling of your skin crawling but the anxiety that had built up still weighted down on you and refused to budge as you fought back tears, finally meeting your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were red and watery with unshed tears. You tried to swallow the feeling, stepping out of the bathroom to return to Hotch. When you found him he'd made his way into your living room and was standing next to your couch.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice laced with concern when he turned to meet your eyes.

You shook your head not even sure how to begin to explain to Hotch how you were feeling. You'd never told any of the team the true extent of what you dealt with and while you were sure they'd picked up on pieces of it nobody really knew the truth. It felt no matter how hard you tried to explain it, you could never find the right words. You walked towards the couch but instead of taking a seat, you sunk to the floor in front of it, leaning back against it. The feeling of the hard floor beneath your hands helping to ground you. Hotch moved around the couch to join you, sitting close but not quite close enough to touch.

"How can I help?" He questioned watching as you tried to hold in the sob that threatened to spill out. Some of your comforts felt silly now that you were faced with the idea of explaining them to Hotch. You were always afraid of being judged for the things you needed in moments like these but you needed at least a small comfort right now.

"Can you um, can you light the candle on the fireplace?" You asked nervously gesturing towards one of your larger scented candles that sat on your fireplace. Hotch nodded and reached for the nearby lighter before lighting the candle. It took a few tries for the flame to take but once it did he returned to his place next to you.

You took a deep breath, focusing on the rich scent that filled your nose. Sometimes when your body went into sensory overload like this the candles helped. The focus on one major sense that you could control helped to settle your body. You were very aware of Hotch's presence next to you and the need for comfort resurfaced stronger than ever when his hand brushed against yours on the floor. Hotch had always been a comforting presence in your life, while maybe you weren't incredibly close he was there for you when you needed him.

Before you could stop yourself you turned and buried your face in the crook of his neck, finally letting out the sob you had been holding back. You felt Hotch tense at first, clearly taken aback by your sudden movement but in less than second his arms were wrapped around you pulling you closer to him. The feeling of his arms around you was overwhelming as you finally let out everything you'd been feeling. You tightened your arms around his waist as you clung to him, your whole body shaking with the force of your sobs. Hotch brought one hand to rest on the back of your head while he tangled his fingers in your hair holding you tight against his chest. His other hand smoothed across your back, rhythmically running up and down your spine as he whispered comforting words in your ear.

"Shush Y/N, it's okay. I'm right here." He mumbled next to your ear, his voice quiet as he tried to calm you. His voice was soothing, every word helping you catch your breath just that little bit more. "You're safe here."

When your sobs finally stopped, reduced to sniffles as you tried your best to catch your breath, you slumped against Hotch's chest. You weren't sure if you were calmer now or simply becoming numb. You let him hold you, too exhausted both mentally and physically to even try and move away.

"It's hard sometimes." You started, your voice was hoarse from crying as slightly muffled as you kept your face buried in the crook of his neck. "To feel safe when that happens, when my own brain won't let me stop out of fear of something as minor as germs and dirt hurting me. So thank you. Thank you for staying."

"Of course, Y/N." Hotch nodded, his hand still stroking through your hair as your breath fanned against his neck. "If you ever need to talk or if you ever need time off you can always come to me. I want to help."

"I don't want to keep you all night." You said as you finally pushed yourself away from Hotch and rubbed at your teary eyes. You could feel the pressure of a headache building and all you wanted was to crawl into your bed and to forget the world. You didn't want to keep Hotch up all night just because you were having a rough night. "You should go home, get some rest."

You went to stand, pushing yourself up from where you were sitting but just before you got to your feet you felt Hotch gently grasp your hand in his. He tugged you back down next to him and cupped your cheek in his free hand.

"I don't care if I don't get any sleep tonight. As long as I can be there for you." You were surprised by the sincerity in his voice but there was something in his eyes, a determination to help that had you melting back into the contact. You stopped fighting it and let him.

"Can we just, stay here for a while?" You whispered.

He nodded at you and wrapped you up in his arms again, helping you settle comfortably into his lap. You rested your head against his chest, letting your eyes flutter shut as you listened to the steady beat of his heart as you eventually drifted off to sleep.

Taglist: @marauder-level-chaos

[caparrucia]

Would you consider for the flowers soulmate AU, what was Regis thinking during this? (Phone call with Cor, seeing Nyx’s flowers pop up, etc)

Regis gets two assassination attempts per month on average. Or rather, two assassination attempts on his person are planned per month on average. Lyra Argentum leads his Saboteur Corp. So it's more like Regis reads about two assassination attempts on his person that got horrifically and often murderously derailed per month on average.

It's honestly to be expected: The Empire will not soon forgive him his maneuvering and the underhanded way he saw fit to win the war. But it's worth it, because most of his people are living firmly in post war. The world is moving on, and every year there's less and less of the old guard, perpetually frothing at the audacity of his youth.

It's fine.

Even when the attempts do get carried out, anyone who gets past his Saboteurs has to get through his Shield.

It's fine.

Life is worth living, now that the war is over. He'll shoulder any and all burdens, if it means letting his people thrive. And besides, assassination attempts in general, but the latest one in specific, are to blame for allowing him to witness a miracle. Actual, 100% true miracle, no Astrals required.

"I don't need backup," Lyra points out, eyebrows arched.

She generally doesn't, no. Lyra operates on two main modes: long range, usually a couple miles, with a trusty snipper rifle, or short range, with dynamite. Lyra's backup usually needs backup themselves. Or funeral services. Regis knows better than to send backup with her, unless that backup is Cor, who by sheer stubbornness refuses to meet the same fate as all of Lyra's victims.

Regis misses his cue to point out he never sends backup with her anymore or any other of the suitably pithy remarks that usually make her laugh.

"Let's take five," Regis says, instead, because he's thoroughly distracted. "Cor, a word?"

"You have godawful timing," Cor says, surly, and Regis is starting to think he does, yes, and he's very sorry about it.

"I can tell," Regis replies, reaching out a hand, palm-side up.

On reflex, Cor reaches out to hold it with his nearest hand, because Regis has known him since he was fifteen, and the best way he had to disarm the acerbic little shit was to pretend to be a coward and demand he held his hand through anything and everything. The habit's never broken, properly, even though Cor knows better now, when Regis is trying to manipulate him for his own good.

"Oh," Cor says, when he follow's Regis' line of sight and lands on the back of his own hand.

They stand in silence for a moment, watching the petals unfurl into a bright, vibrant red. It's not unheard of, to watch soul marks appear, but Regis knows he's never seen it happen, himself. Cor is staring at the orchid - a Galahdian blood orchid, if Regis' botanical trivia is up to date - the same way he'd looked at Noctis, the night Aulea died he'd been born.

"Lyra doesn't need back up," Regis points out, as gentle as he can make his voice, because the look on Cor's face is inscrutable.

"I do," Cor says, voice rough around the edges. He swallows hard. "I could use the distraction."

Regis doesn't tell him what he thinks Cor could use, because Cor reacts like a stubborn, self-destructive wet cat when anyone but specially Regis meddles with his personal life. But he thinks about it. He thinks about it very loudly, so hopefully Cor hears it anyway.

"I've got bandages," Regis offers instead, as kindly as he can, "if you want to-"

"She's insane, not stupid, Regis," Cor points out, eminently annoyed and embarrassed and awkward.

Regis does not grin. Not with his mouth anyway. Cor rolls his eyes.

"We're leaving," he says, louder, and somewhere beyond the ceiling, in the depths of the vents, a terrible snickering echoes.

"I love you," Regis says, because he does and it's true, no matter how thorny or complicated the sentiment is.

"Fuck you," Cor retorts, just like always, and it might be Regis' imagination, but there's something like a ghost of red spreading along the bridge of his nose.

Life is certainly bound to get interesting soon.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito Ecstasy [Epilogue]

ー The scene starts in the guest room

Yui: ( What should I do...? I don’t know what to say... )

Laito: ーー This is just too tragic.

Yui: ...

Laito: For her.

Yui: ( He’s talking about Cordelia...Right...? )

Laito: She always trusted him. 

She believed that he married her out of love and genuine attraction. And that one day...He would definitely show his affection only to her.

However, she was being deceived. When in reality, he never loved her to begin with...

ーー And I am the victim of that big misunderstanding...I mean, isn’t that right?

I was the person she would vent off all her frustrations to.

Yui: ...Laito-kun...

Laito: That man should have known all of that would happen...I mean, he’s God after all...

Somewhere deep inside...I always hoped that maybe he just never noticed.

However...That was naive of me.

I was a planned scapegoat.

Yui: Laito-kun, please, say no more...

Laito: ...

Yui: ( Laito-kun always clung onto a faint hope. That his Father might come and save him one day... )

( So to have said hope crushed in such a way...must be beyond unbearable. )

ー Ayato and Kanato walk up to them

Ayato: ...Laito, are you speakin’ the truth?

Laito: Ayato-kun...

Ayato: ...

Kanato: Laito...What you said just now...Is just some lie, right?

Laito: It’s no lie. This is the truth.

He’s using us for his research.

By creating a child between himself and a woman related to the Founders...

and then matching said child with a human girl of similar descent...In other words, Bitch-chan...

He’s hoping to create a new humanity. That is his true goal.

Ayato: ...This shit makes no sense. The fuck does that even mean...!? 

Laito: I have no clue either. However, there’s one thing I understand very well now.

He knew that we would eventually kill Cordelia out of mixed emotions of love and hatred.

Kanato: ...!?

Laito: I mean, he had to have known, right? He needed us to kill her, so uncle Richter could transplant her heart.

Otherwise the vital piece to his plan to create a new humanity would have never come into existence.

Ayato: Then that shitty Old Fart...Married the Old Hag with that intention in mind all along? 

Laito: Exactly.

And as she found herself having grown mad from the lack of affection she craved from him, she vented off her anger by hurting us in various ways.

Kanato: ...That’s...You’re lying!

Laito: If you think it’s a lie, either read through the report or ask that man himself.

He indirectly made it so we would kill Cordelia.

Ayato: Keh...

Laito: I don’t know if we would have spared her life if we had known this all along but...Still...

I didn’t think even our feelings of love and hatred were being manipulated...

That woman always seemed irritated, feeling empty inside.

And as a result, we were robbed of our ‘Mother’...

We’re all far too miserable.

Both her, and us.

Ayato: But...But listen...Things still turned out okay for you, right?

Laito: Okay for me? What do you mean?

Ayato: You got her as a result.

Yui: ...

Ayato: So the fact we killed that Old Hag wasn’tーー

Laito: Wasn’t totally in vain, you mean? Are you serious? Do you truly feel that way?

Yui: ...Laito-kun...

( It’s almost as if...I’m the bad guy here... )

Laito: This wasn’t written in the report, but now that I know all of this, I can put two and two together as well. 

Karlheinz-san never showed her any affection to ensure the success of his plan.

Yui: No way...

Laito: So do you really think I can live with that reality and feel glad that in the end, at least I was able to meet Yui? 

Ayato: ...

Kanato: ...

Laito: Aah, what a joke. We were manipulated, living our whole lives acting according to his plan.

Yet, I believed that I had overcome my past traumas and made it this far through my own strength...

When I think that even this feeling of achievement is something Karlheinz put inside my head...

I get so angry, it makes me gagーー

Yui: ーー ...!!

Laito: I’m sorry, Bitch-chan. But...I told you once, didn’t I?

Truth doesn’t exist for me.

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Ahaha...Of course it doesn’t! Because everything has been set up by that man!

ーー Even my feelings for you...!

Yui: ...!!

Laito: Yui-chan, I do feel bad for you...But I...

Ayato: ...

Kanato: ...

Yui: ーー Still, I...

Laito: Eh...?

Yui: I...tried looking inside my own head, you know...?

I’m certain I wasn’t told to feel this way. 

I fell in love with you, as part of my own, genuine feelings.

This heart of mine might have been part of a plan. But still...

Even if my heart once belonged to Cordelia. 

My feelings for you are without a doubt my own, you know?

Laito: Bitch-chan...

Yui: So you too...

Laito: ...

Yui: ( Laito-kun...I’m begging you. Look me...right into the eyes. )

Please...!!

Laito: ...What more can I do...!? 

I’ve had enough. The stronger my feelings for you grow...

...The more my heart starts to ache, I can’t bear it anymore...

Exactly because these feelings are genuine.

Yui: ...

( The person I love the most is suffering so much right in front of my eyes... )

( So what can I do to soothe his pain...? )

ー Loud noises can be heard in the distance

Kanato: ...Hm? It seems awfully rowdy outside...

Ayato: ...!? It smells kinda burnt in here? ...Aah!? Fire...!!

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: ...!?

Kanato: W-What is going on...!? Why is the place on fire...!?

Ayato: Beats me...! Oi, you guys! We have to get outtaーー

Laito: ...I’m staying behind.

Yui: W-What are you saying, Laito-kun!? We have to run or else...

Laito: I’m not going. I’ll stay here.

Ayato: Aah!? What kind of bullshit are you spoutin’!?

Kanato: Exactly! Even you would...!

Laito: I’m not going!! I’m...I’m nothing...but one of his little tools anyway...

Yui: ...!!

I’m begging you...Please don’t say...that you’ll stay behind!

I don’t want to lose you...!

Laito: ...!!

Ayato: Che!! This is bad! We really gotta get outta here...The fire’s spreadin’ way faster than I expected!

Kanato: Laito!!

Yui: ...You two make a run for it!

Ayato: Are you mental!? How could we leave you two behind!?

Yui: Don’t worry! I promise you I’ll bring Laito-kun with meーーSo please!

Ayato: Chichinashi...

Kanato: ーーLet’s go, Ayato.

Ayato: Kanato!?

Kanato: Unless we leave, Laito-kun will never move from this spot.

Ayato: But still...

Yui: Ayato-kun, everything will be okay...

Ayato: ...Fine! However...You better show up!

ー Ayato and Kanato run away

Yui: ( Thank you, Ayato-kun, Kanato-kun.... )

Laito: Fufufu, someone’s rather confident it seems...?

Yui: ...Laito-kun...

Laito: Because you believe I love you?

Yui: ーー Exactly.

Laito: ...

Yui: You love me. I know that you want me, as part of your own genuine feelings.

Laito: Hmph...You insolent girl...Get off your high horse already, will you?

Yui: ーー Laito-kun, stop lying to yourself.

No matter how much of this was set up, or even if our relationship is what Karlheinz-san aimed for. 

The fact you found me and fell in love with me, are all things you decided and wanted yourself, no?

*Rumble rumble*

Laito: Ugh...

*Rumble rumble*

Yui: Laito-kun...Please!

Look me into the eyes...!!

Laito: Bitch-chan...

Yui: Everything you’ve told me...

Every single one of those words had your genuine feelings packed inside, so no matter what you might say,

Iーー...!

*Rumble rumble*

Yui: Kyaah...!!

Laito: ...!? Yui-chan!!

Yui: ( ...Laito-kun...!! )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

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[ VAMPIRE ENDING ] ->

[ MANSERVANT ENDING ] ->

[ BRUTE ENDING ] ->

[stylistiquements]

The Sorcerer pt. 1

Corpse Husband x gn!reader

Reincarnation AU | Summary :

The same candle lights up on Corpse’s desk every time you are reborn and turn 23. He has been looking for you during centuries but this time you might be closer than anticipated.  {Playlist}

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 : 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

You’re about to blow your 23rd candles and Corpse is about to experience the consequences of it. Somehow, something about your rebirth is different this time.

☾ Words : 6009.

☾ Warnings : angst, mention of death (only suggested and not specific), grieving, swearing 

Masterlist | Next 

What does it mean to be a sorcerer in 2021? Corpse wonders as he chooses an outfit for his black bean character, lightly tapping his fingers in a crafted rhythm against his dark wooden desk. Nothing, really. The modern days turned his kind into a groundless concept, legendary creatures at best and it’s truly a shame when you think about it.

“Alright, are you ready?” Corpse asks as he moves his mouse above the “start” button and projects everyone into a new round.

“I won’t forgive you like I did last round,” Karl warns Corpse, dash of amusement in his tone.

“Sure,” he scoffs and the devious ghost of a smile shines on his lips when the bloody word “imposter” appears above his virtual pink cat hat.

Sorcerers used to be the rulers of this world and the most famous of well-hidden secrets; no one talked about it yet everyone knew. You just had to be here, respect and adoration followed their every move. People from all horizons went out of their way to meet them in hope of witnessing a miracle.

Oh, how the tables have turned now. They didn’t have to hide their face back then and it all went the harmonious way until a certain day when their fate met a tragic outcome. The day when life took a turn for the hidden.

Corpse is somehow retired now. Maybe that’s why he started doing youtube in the first place; because the craving of being needed had to be fulfilled one way or another. Or maybe because the thrill of life has been gone for so long he had to try everything to fill the void in hope of feeling a drip of something again. The weariness of a mere life stiffened in his rib cage from time to time, preventing a proper breathing.

He could have still been able to practice his magic facelessly -he wouldn’t be the first one to do so after all- but it seems crazy, surreal even, for him to picture being so public about such a heavy little secret nowadays. He found comfort in the concealed, in the invisible so long ago.

See, that’s the most important reason why Corpse is who he is today but stopping the explanations there would be neglecting the truth. Corpse would, but I'm more honest than he is.

Somehow, he believes a little too seriously that a kid’s app was designed to ruin his life. He feels this rotting taste that burns his tongue every time he thinks about it, he always talks about it with great passion; as if one minute videos could compete against the thundering energy that travels from his veins to the tip of his fingers. Witchcraft tiktok got the last bit of his ancestral pride and that’s a damn shame.

His character ambles around the hostile corridors dipped in yellow light, looking for a prey to slice in half. He doesn’t have a plan yet but he sure knows how to improvise by now. Corpse deems that he’s rather good at it. He meets Tina in O2. She’s wandering around, running like a headless chicken. What if he took that expression a little too seriously? Alas, he can’t wrap his mind around the idea of the unforgivable and she escapes his reach. Corpse’s nose wrinkles, better luck next time.

His fictional blood thirst gets stronger when he hops inside a vent and observes Rae’s red character doing her tasks. Corpse knows what comes next, it’s inevitable. A hint of excitement and nervousness hatch on his chest.

At the same time on the other side of the country, the ones you love are carrying a big cake to your table. It seems so silly and it leaves you slightly embarrassed that people are celebrating the fact that you were born but, somehow, you can’t forbid that smile to reach your ears.

When you look at the cake, a snort escapes your control. Your friends drew a glazed picture of you but you find yourself hoping that there isn’t much resemblance between that Picasso-ish designed cake and your actual face. I mean, except for that particularity your face displays; eyes that don’t match in colors, one green and one hazel, it really just looks like a kid's doodle.

23, what a weird number. It doesn’t sit quite right with you for some reason. 22 is fine, same goes for 24 but 23 … Somehow, it feels like something is either missing or too much. You’re not too sure which one it could be.

The warmth that emanates from the candles is sweet and tickles your chin softly and everyone is singing along the most disastrous birthday wishes. You’re preparing for your wish. What could you need more? You’re a faceless horror narrator on youtube and life is just about good. I mean, there really isn’t much to complain about and that should be enough.

Your mind drifts off for a second, contemplating what the dream life could be about while one of your friends is already complaining about wax getting all over your glazed face. You could wish for material things but they come and go and their meaning is only ephemeral, maybe 23 is about getting more than that.

Ah, found it. You close your eyes. May I find the place where I truly belong. 23 candles are blown in one breath, not a bad performance.

That’s when the candle on Corpse’s desk starts shining a delicate and orange shade.

Corpse doesn’t notice it at first, too impregnated by his hunt, but when the unusual warmth finally informs him of the merry event, he wrestles to keep his mind into the game. His virtual character stands motionless for a second as he mutes his mic and takes his headphones off.

Fuck, not now please.

Somewhere, a new version of the love of his life turned 23. His mind drifts off, wandering near this idea as his eyes meet the flame.

It’s been hundreds of years and that fucking candle kept you hostage of his mind. Because Corpse couldn’t forget about you, he built those walls to provide you from slipping away, from invading too much of his busy mind. It was a compromise he made with himself so he couldn’t reach you entirely and, therefore, miss you completely. Yet, your rebirth leaks through the pores of his brain and past the fences no matter how hard he tries.

Corpse battles to breathe, he tries to get his mind back on the game but somehow his throat is already filling with a dangerously acidic concoction. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t notice immediately the way his fingers start shaking at a painstaking rhythm.

He moves his character around. Left and right. It’s mechanical and meaningless, nothing but a lost cause. Corpse clenches his grip around the mouse, hoping that the unsteadiness would pity him. How much longer can he carry that feeling? It sits on his shoulders and his chest. It tests out his patience, his own resistance to pain.

“Corpse!” Rae shouts wholeheartedly, rooting him out of his spiral. “Where are you?!”

Fuck; he has no ounce of idea of what is happening in real life, too busy going down this familiar and intimate loop once more. He swallows it all, praying that you would spare him some earned mercy. You’re always so cruel, unabashedly sneaking in and taking over his space despite all his efforts.

“I-huh- I’m in medbay, I have scan," he bluffs, hoping that no one would notice the way his voice cracks at the end.

Because if anyone did, he would have to admit that he’s not okay, that he never was and doubts that he ever will be. Just as if conceding the facts would’ve allowed him to feel how flourishing his despair was. There’s this knot inside his throat. It’s painful and he’s so tired. How many times was he left crawling on his bathroom’s floor when his heart fractured a little deeper? He misses you every fucking day but each rebirth brings back more and more longing.

He would love to abandon himself to the aching pleasure of this unsolicited reminiscence but he knows that if he did, you would possess him wholly and never give him back. You plague his mind like a mist that grows thicker and thicker on his lungs. It diffuses everywhere and intoxicates what’s left of him.

“Sure sleepy but that’s bullshit,” Tina whines. “We know it’s Corpse. He’s been sus’ the entire round!”

“He said he had scan, right?” Sean interferes, believing that Corpse is the jester. “Why don’t you give him the benefit of the doubt?”

They’re all waiting for Corpse to step in, to defend himself but he’s no longer here, too busy trying to swallow the emotions that are leaking all over the place. It gnaws him alive, piece by piece and it hurts so fucking much. Will it ever stop?

Silence is convenient, “I voted” badges get pinned on everyone’s chest. His black character falls into the lava, what an ironic metaphor.

“Sorry guys, something came up and I gotta go.” He finally says, hurry in his voice. He doesn’t try to hide it. In fact, he can’t.

“Are you s…” Rae’s voice gets cut abruptly when Corpse quits the call without further notice.

Corpse knows what’s next, when his head gets overcrowded by feelings and his heart too empty. It’s ugly, it’s messy and oh how he wishes it would be different this time.

The room is spinning from the crumbs of your sweet face and the trickle of your voice that drips through his ears as if you were still here. He clings onto that distorted and stained picture as if it was the ultimate proof that you were real. Were you even real once ? Remembering feels like repeating a word over and over again: with time, it loses its meaning. It wasn’t you he remembered, Corpse figured it out a long time ago. You weren’t there anymore.

The thought of it drives him crazy. He wishes he could get rid of that fucking candle, constant reminder of your rebirth away from him, constant reminder of the defeat he has to endure every time you turn 23 and you’re still not by his side. He has been looking for you everywhere for hundreds of years, from the biggest capitals to the most secluded parts of this world, without a single hint of your existence. You’re his greatest failure and he can’t, he won’t stand that.

Corpse grabs the candle and it collides with the floor with a thud that tangles with his raw voice. His chest moves heavily. It's scattered and in discord and there is this distorted gaze on his face when he remembers that the candle cannot be shattered. It’s this unsolicited spark of self-awareness that brings him closer to reality. Fuck. What the fuck is he doing? Corpse finally lost his damn mind. His hands wander uncontrollably in his hair and he looks around frantically for a second, trying to remember how to survive.

Corpse’s head is pressuring him, rushing him to turn off his computer and spill the words that are stuck on the back of his tongue on a piece of paper. That grip is unforgivable and unclear but he starts writing as if it was the only thing left to do, maybe it is. It feels like survival instinct at this point, it feels like the last attempt to collect the pieces of himself you left behind.

Dear you,

Happy birthday, wherever you are in this world. Another letter is about to join the pile. How many are there already? I wouldn’t know. I stopped counting since it made me sick.

As every time, I hope it’s the best birthday you have ever had. I remember the twenty-third birthday we spent together as if it were yesterday. I can no longer recall the way your eyes wrinkled under your bright smile or the sound of your echoing laughter but I do remember that warm feeling inside my chest, the pain in my cheeks from laughing with all my heart. How pleasant was it to be able to live it all with you? To be able to embrace you, to breathe you, to see you. Forgive me, my love, for I am no longer capable of picturing anything of you. I wish I could. I wish I could be haunted by a proper ghost, at least, and not just a glimpse of the range of emotions that animated me when you were by my side. All I can remember now is that you felt like a firework and that my eyes never met a prettier human. It’s so truly unfair to think about the fact that no one matters as much as you still do.

I am drifting off, am I? I always tend to do that in those letters. I hope you’re doing well, I really do. Did you spend your birthday with the ones who love you? I hope you’re happy and healthy. It’s the only important thing, or at least that’s what I have learned so far.

I hate those letters, they make me realize how lonely I am. Somehow, it feels like I’m expecting an answer that is never going to arrive.

Fuck. My skin aches from the lack of your touch. I miss you so fucking much. Just tell me what to do. I tried everything and you’re still stuck inside my brain. I’m a sorcerer for fuck’s sake, one of the most powerful beings to have ever existed and yet the concept of one single human defeats me day after day, rebirth after rebirth. I’m a fucking shame for my kind. I hate you. I love you so very much. Happy birthday.

Yours truly, Corpse Husband

The paper is stained by the storm that has been building up in Corpse's mind for hours. The letters are deformed now. Look at the mess you just made. He throws the letters away, where he can no longer see it and brings his knees to his chest, resting his head between his legs. He feels like screaming one more time but he’s choking. Sweet and sore agony grips his throat as his veins are burning with thick poison.

Don’t be fooled, Corpse would have been able to cast a spell or two to forget about your existence and spare himself a bit. Yet, it would only erase the last proof he had of you, not his feelings. He would have to bear the burden of a quest he could no longer figure out. He would be left longing for something that no longer existed. As if it wasn’t the case already. He wishes he could sleep, life would be so fucking easier if he could just fall asleep.

A few days have passed since your birthday. The thread between days and nights is thin and confusing and the candle on Corpse’s desk is still radiating with as much energy as the first day.

Corpse’s head is heavy, aching, he wonders if he could still carry it on his shoulders if he wasn’t lying on his bed. That sore body feels like it has been drained from an eagerness that has been growing for too long. Corpse groans, trying to figure out what’s sheets and blankets and what’s limbs, living up to the name he chose for himself.

Every ray of the sun is burning his skin. It leaves his body smelling like heat, he doesn't like that smell. Now, he could just get up and draw the curtains but that laziness is as weary as infiltrated. If only it could rain, maybe it would soothe his nerves and his growing migraine.

After a few minutes of silent fulminations, Corpse finally unlocks his phone and opens his texts one by one just to ignore them. He’s curled up on himself, as if a compressed version of his darkness could help in order to block the light. Sorcerers are supposed to be tied with nature, with every ray of the moon and the sun. His bond with the sun is molded, if not completely doomed to grow untie. Corpse is a sorcerer like no others and that goes without saying.

One text captures his breath and his attention, bringing back some interest into the numbness. It’s coming from you, y/n. Or at least, the “you” from this present life. The “you” who isn’t aware of the past and the “you” Corpse doesn’t know is the one he has been looking for during eternity.

In this life, the two of you aren’t close enough to be friends -and he would never let you take that role- but, by the time of your first Twitter interaction -which consisted of you tweeting emo Sykkuno with tattoo pictures and Corpse replying with a meme that said "If life is a simulation please turn it off", Corpse knew you should be near him at all time. Not too close for you to actually be able to touch him but definitely not too far. It’s peculiar but something that has to be felt, not explained; a primitive hunch so loud it couldn’t be unheard.

His mind is awake again. The plan for today, which consisted of him rotting in his bed, seems compromised right now. Corpse turns to lay on the left side of the bed, where the sheets are cooler. His brows furrow and he sighs heavily as he rubs his eyes with his thumbs.

Corpse really doesn’t know why he’d feel that way in the first place for someone like you. You always seem so organic, radiating, so free in the way you choose to exist. He envies you for being so authentic when all he can afford to do is remain hidden, where no light can really reach him if not to draw a faint shape of his being. No harsh feelings though, it’s just the way he feels about anyone who doesn’t sound fake. There is still a bit of remaining endearment in the way Corpse’s words are thrown at you, you just have to know what to look for.

Now, Corpse trades his horror narrator's advices against some social media help. Those things are bigger than him, he’s too old for that anyway. You think the way he still uses symbols as emojis is charming -no one does that anymore- but Corpse just can’t keep up with today’s slang and way of showing emotions via texts. Kids these days are just too creative with the way they express themselves.

[Hello, Mr Sorcerer, hope you’re doing good. I need your help on something.]

Huh.

He meets your words and his mind gets coated in sweat, frozen blood preventing the next heartbeat from happening. Who told you?

Corpse can’t wrap his mind around the fact that his most precious secret is being exposed with that much negligence. He can count on his fingers the number of people who are aware of his true nature, half of them are actually other magical beings of some sort. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

His head is hammered by thoughts. He thinks he’s screwed, that everyone will know. He can already foresee what is about to come. That’s why there is a bit of fear in the way his eyebrows are arching. His alerted mind screams for him to just throw his phone across the room but his fingers, covered in panic, are faster. The first text he sends is not directed to you, but to Sykkuno, his familiar.

Familiars are to sorcerers what assistants are to magicians. In short -but not limited to- a massive help.

Corpse’s link with Sykkuno transcends the law of words and thoughts. They just understand each other and the way they do, without even having to see each other, is just something that has to be witnessed once in a lifetime. It’s a sort of energy that travels through space, a special connection. It's light and invisible but leaves a warm trail on its way.

However, what doesn’t transcend their bond is the concept of time zone -which Corpse forgot about for a second. Sykkuno is probably asleep right now. Corpse’s panic takes back its race once he realizes he’s on his own and he types:

[Haha, very funny. You know, if you wanted to talk, you just had to say hi :)]

Denial, that will do the trick, right? You can’t be that persistent. Or at least that’s what Corpse hopes when he leaves his phone on an unstable balance on his forehead, waiting for an answer he hopes would spare his mind from yet another issue he has to take care of.

[I knew you’d say that but don’t worry, I promise I won’t snitch,] you reply, lips twitching under a sly smile. [I’m way too afraid of you cursing me or something.]

[Who told you shit like that anyway?]

[I just know someone.]

His expression hardens, that head keeps throbbing harder and harder by the minute. You’re so impetuous and it turns him into an impatient and choleric fog. The topic is too important, crucial and it shows how you truly have no idea what you’re talking about when you act as recklessly as you do.

[Some crazy folk told you about magic and you believed them, huh? Thought you were smarter than that.]

[Dream would be pretty upset if he knew you called him “some crazy folk”.]

Corpse stares numbly at his screen before sitting back on his bed, pulling away from his vision the curly strands that fell down. He throws a bunch of silent curses at the sun which is still attacking him, if not even more now. He types a few words but erases them in a snap, repeating the process once or twice more. Now he has to send another text, this one is for Dream : “we need to talk.”

What a weird day.

Questions, Corpse has so many of them but he can’t stop shaking his head with confusion. He had no idea you knew Dream. Why would Dream reveal something so critical as Corpse’s identity? Why would another sorcerer send you his way? That’s not how things are done unless it’s something they deem they wouldn’t be able to handle and there’s really a few things Dream wouldn’t be able to do. Corpse hesitates for second, fingers fidgeting in the air. He doubts that he would ever be capable of doing something Dream can’t do but does it really matter when, right now, you’re holding information you should never be holding in the first place?

[Feeling like trading secrets under the full moon?] You outbid. It’s always so tempting to tease Corpse when he sounds like a grumpy old man.

[A sincere fuck you.]

[That’s very rude, Mr Sorcerer.]

The way you avoid providing any sort of explanation grows in his mind like weeds that need to be ripped off. Really, from all the good timing in the world, you had to choose the worst one. But there’s the faintest hint of a smile on his lips when he does the math and realizes that, if you wanted to use that secret to your advantage, you would have done it by now. A slow relief that softens his headache. Also, Corpse is well aware that, as annoying as you can get, he can’t refuse you a thing.

[Fine, tell me what you need.]

[So I keep seeing the same number again and again and your name keeps appearing in my head at random times. Still don’t get the correlation but I know there is one. I wanna know the number’s meaning and how I can get rid of you.]

Corpse huffs, he’d like to know that himself. He’s about to laugh it off when he reads the text one more time. Something about it is mysterious enough to pique his curiosity. You mentioned his name, it bothers him. Not that he doesn’t appreciate you thinking about him but because it sounds odd enough to be something related to magic in one way or another. There’s this mix of excitement and apprehension that fills the pit of his stomach and now half of a smile is embellishing his lips. This buzzing sound in his brain, maybe it’s the final signal that he should start practicing magic again, the final signal his life will feel thrilling again.

[Call you in 5. This is a consultation by the way, I’m not doing this for free.]

[Fine, you rat.] You answer with a victorious smile.

Corpse’s words linger in the air. It’s smooth like velvet -you could almost touch it if you pictured it hard enough- and it’s soothing in some way. It’s deep mumbles and bits of light chuckles and a little magic. You’re spinning slowly on your chair, playing with strands of your hair. There’s a different tone in Corpse’s voice. He sounds tired and it’s mixed with something else you can’t really pinpoint. For the best or the worst, that, has yet to be determined.

“So.” Corpse says, bringing you back to reality. “What’s that number you were talking about?”

“Right. So, I keep seeing the number 5 everywhere. I wake up at 5:55 every morning. When my eyes are looking at the clock, it’s 5:55PM and it extends to absolutely everything.” You faintly slap your palm against your thighs in exasperation.

Corpse is silent for a moment as he tries to collect the bits of knowledge that are still hanging here and there inside his mind. As he expected, the pressure below his left eyebrow makes it hard to think. He really doesn’t get why Dream wouldn’t be able to take care of a matter that sounds so frivolous. It feels like the most important piece of the puzzle is missing , the one that makes the whole picture makes sense.

“Okay, this is not really my specialty but the number 5 is an interesting angel number.” Corpse hums. The word “specialty” echoes. Dream talked about that once and somehow, that’s how you finally realized that Corpse was, indeed, a sorcerer. Not that you wouldn’t believe the information in the first place but there’s a remarkable difference between learning and experiencing. What would be his specialty then?

Dream introduced you to this new veil a couple of months ago and you never fully believed in it before getting involved. Maybe that’s why you never talked about it to anyone. Even now, your skeptical nature always finds its way back to you. He said all sorcerers had specialties and that his was clairvoyance. You don’t really know what that means but you wouldn’t ask too much. Knowledge seems like a curse in that field, or at least that’s what you have learned from Dream’s distressed tone when he talked about the past. He always sounded like a broken record, a little out of tune, as if his soul was still partially stuck back there and maybe that’s why Corpse always sounded that way too.

“Do you believe in guardian angels?” You raise an eyebrow, high voice brimming with confusion.

“Do you?” Corpse pauses, you’re silent for a couple of seconds and he realizes that he won’t get an answer to that. “The number 5 is your guardian angel trying to tell you that things are about to change in your life. In fact, it means that the process already started.”

“You’re kinda scaring me though,” you say as you readjust your sit, nose wrinkling under an almost grimace. You don’t like it, you don’t like their world. It’s not yours, you’re only a human with a mere life and an almost mere job. Sometimes, you hate Dream for letting you on this secret you were now forced to keep. It always felt so two faced.

“You don’t have to be scared, the change is only gonna benefit you.” Corpse’s voice is soft and the way you can tell he believes in the words he is speaking is almost as surprising as reassuring. You can’t help it, you don’t like change. The unknown is called that way for a reason and maybe this reason is the explanation for why it needs to remain that way.

“Sure,” you coy. “What do I do about you? That’s what really interests me.”

He scoffs. Trust me, that’s what interests him the most as well. Yet Corpse knows no answer to that. He hesitates for a second and his eyes wander into the void. Should he let you know that he doesn’t have a clue, that it somehow scares him as much as it intrigues you? It feels like his broken sorcerer ego would crack even more if he did. Maybe he just had to find out before letting you know.

“Are you obsessed with me, y/n?” Corpse winces. Why would he have to travel through sarcasmland(™) to escape the question? His eyes go wide for a second, flickering on corners of his empty room. It’s only fair that he would tease you like you tease him, right?

“You’re just being annoying now,” you mumble, cheeks flushing in a vivid tint of pink and Corpse snorts.

Corpse almost forgot about himself for a second, about that damn candle, but it hits him once the conversation fades away and the static silence is the only thing left. So he gets up, grunts in complaint rooted out by sore muscles, turns his computer on and plays some rain sounds. The melody of droplets hitting the ground is reminding him how to breathe.

“Rain sounds, huh,” you whisper. “You like those.”

Corpse hums and the two of you are left listening to the rain. It tickles your ears pleasantly, so you close your eyes and relax in the back of your chair for a moment. It’s a beautiful disharmony if you really pay attention, just like Corpse is. You feel like the conversation is about to end, you don’t want him to hang up just yet.

“Corpse?” Your voice trails for a second and Corpse hums again. “Why did you decide to be faceless?”

“What did Dream answer to that question?” His tone is interesting, a bit higher than it probably should have been. What came up as conversation modalities turns into a piqued interest.

“He never answered me," you mumble.

“So people like you can’t take advantage of our nature in real life too,” he lies and you can tell by the half chuckle that travels with the answer.

You know you won’t get more from him, way less than you wish you did. Those faceless sorcerers always leave you hanging. They let you in on their little Hannah Montana life but never bear the consequence that is this endless and flowing well of questions. The rain rings heavily through your ears. It’s time for the call to end.

"Goodbye, Mr Sorcerer,” you sing before hanging up.

When the darkness finally surrounds Corpse, he slips into a strange place that greets him with a familiar smell; vanilla and freshly cut grass. The birds are singing. He takes a long inspiration, his body knows before he does. Corpse looks around, trying to let the image of the surrounding setting sink in.

That place seems oddly familiar, yet totally new; a kitchen made of golden wooden walls. It's decorated with an old and distinguished taste. The wooden table is dressed with a pretty blue and red tablecloth. Vases of fresh flowers displayed on parts of the kitchen, dried herbs hanging above the sink in front of the window. It’s dipped in sunlight, too bright to be real. The rays of light are swaying with the shadows of branches which are dancing outside with the wind. Corpse doesn’t mind the light for once, he even closes his eyes for a second to let every pore of his body get soaked in it. God, did he miss that place.

“Honey, I was waiting for you.”

Corpse’s heart jumps a little before clutching harder. He knows who’s here, he knows it’s his unforgettable love and the idea makes him almost want to never open his eyes again. He can feel it, the profound kindness and sweet smiles that are surrounding you like it always have and it makes his eyes burn with tears that are ready to trail down his cheek, sobs jostling inside his throat. Corpse wishes he could just cover you in embraces and kisses but he can’t, he can never do that in those dreams.

Corpse tries his hardest not to let the frustration immerse him in bitterness by controlling his breathing which could get carried away at any moment now. He finally swallows it all to look at you. There’s a significant disappointment on his face when he realizes yours is as blurry as always. He wishes he could just witness this beauty one more time. He doesn’t remember what your face looks like, you’re not real. It’s nothing but a dream and you’re not here.

“I made some cookies for you.” The ghost of you says as it points out a chair that seems to have appeared out of nowhere, inviting him to take a seat as it does the same. “Those are your favorite, remember?”

With a voice sweeter than honey, so bewitching, Corpse’s body works on its own and mimics your gestures. His eyes are frozen on your silhouette. He tries to remember the shades and colors that were once painted on your face. If only he could remember.

“Did you redecorate our kitchen?” Corpse asks as he takes a bite of the cookie.

“Did I?” Your past self wonders out loud. “It’s been so long, I can’t tell.”

The treat tastes as good as it always has, Corpse takes another bite. The silence in the kitchen is delicate, contemplative. Outside, the weather is lovely; white clouds floating above the endless and bright green meadows. Corpse tries to take everything he can from that dream, from the peacefulness he feels now deep inside, and the perfume of your skin, to the sweet voice that caresses his ears. If Corpse could stay here forever, he would.

“Why are you here, my love?” You suddenly ask, forcing Corpse’s attention which he refuses by looking away.

“I wonder if the wind is warm or cool outside, maybe I should check.”

Corpse knows what happens every time you visit his dreams : you end up asking this question, he answers and suddenly he’s alone and you vanished into thin air. The response is always the same; because I miss you. It leaves him feeling lonelier than ever, craving a presence he can no longer be blessed with. Just a little bit longer, please. He blinks rapidly to expel the few tears that are forming in his eyes, so the knot inside his throat wouldn’t become more unbearable than it already is. Corpse is left feeling so desperate and helpless.

In a precipitation he almost can't control, he gets up and walks towards the door. He just wants to feel the wind on his skin. Please, just a bit longer. Corpse is almost at the door when his eyes deform with stupor under the pressure of a hand that grabs his sleeve. His heart stops, he was never able to touch you in a dream before. What changed? There’s a moment of hesitation before his eyes travel from your hand, to your arm, to your neck, to your face and he can no longer swallow his emotions when he dives into your eyes. Your eyes, he can see them.

When Corpse wakes up, wiped out of his dream, his breath is short and sweat pearls down his forehead. He’s in a rush, he remembers something about your face, something important. He knows what to look for now; your eyes, your irises. They don’t match in color. The left is green, the right has a pretty hazel color.

☾ A/N : Welcome on this new AU my friends I’m so excited to have you here with me on this new journey! I hope you liked the first chapter. A big thank you to @moontwinkles for beta reading the chapter and being a big help 💗 How are we feeling about this? Faceless leo men being sorcerers and familiar Sykkuno??? Idk I’m a little too passionate about it. Don’t worry the next chapter won’t be as angsty as this one but I needed to express my thrist for angst lmao anyway let me know what you think! Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

☾ 𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 *OPEN* : @open-minded-chip-101​ ; @lochness-butmakeitsexy​ ; @bizarrebibitch​ ; @bellomi-clarke​ ; @ladybismuth​ ; @katyasrussianaccent​ ; @satanhauntedourcats​ ; @owl-llie​ ; @teenloves​ ; @notannis​ ; @mcntsee​ ; @rottenroyalebooks​​ ; @peachdoppi​ ; @mirahg​ ; @foxxtrot-116​ ; @koi-soi​ ; @lupinpetersclearwaterodairparker ; @butterfly-skinnylegend ; @fanworrior ; @stickystrawberrysyrup ;

[equizona]

Hiii!! How are you? I hope you are doing great💕✨

I wanted to request headcanons for the bros having a normal dinner at the HoL until Mc who used to have really long hair shows up with a self-cuted bob, you can tell they cutted it by themselves but it’s still cute. When the bros asked about it they responded that they were having a really bad day and they cut their hair as an alternative to self harm.

If you feel uncomfortable you can skip the self harm part! I understand! I was just having a bad day and I decided to cut my hair for the same reasons and my Mamá didn’t take it really nicely, and idk i guess I just want comfort. Thank you I love your writing and again, I hope you have a nice day💕💕✨✨

Scenario: cutting your hair as an alternative to self harm

Note: Hello there! First, I wanna say how proud I am of you, even if I don't know you. The fact you cut your hair instead of cutting is amazing and I am so proud of you. I hope you continue to stay strong, and I'm sorry this took so long! Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to. [P.S: I did change the request up but it's mostly the same!]

Fandom: Obey Me!

Character's: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor.

Reader: Kinda G-N! But also has hints that you're most likely a female in this.

Warnings: self harm mentions?

He's very confused.

He does NOT remember you ever leaving the house of lamentation, and your hair was still long earlier this morning.

What happened?

He'll ignore it though.

He'll give you compliments about your hair, and he'll be surprised when you say you cut it on your own.

Tells you that you have talent.

After dinner, he'll ask for you to meet up with him in his office.

He'll immediately ask you why you cut your hair.

Was something wrong? Did you simply want a change? Are you sure you won't regret it? He could find you someone who could grow your hair back out for you if you did?

When you tell him you did that instead of self cutting he's... uncertain on how to feel.

Firstly, he is EXTREMELY proud of you for deciding to do that rather than cut yourself.

He's also a bit disappointed in himself that he didn't notice.

He'll pull you in for a hug, and tell him how proud he is of you for doing that. And how lovely your hair looks short.

He'll tell you to talk to him if you ever feel that you need to cut, and you don't have any other option.

Or if you are simply sad.

He'll get you a therapist if you don't want to speak to him or his brothers.

He'll do almost anything so that you can feel better.

Won't get you knives or things that you can hurt yourself with, but anything else is fair game.

Shocked because why???

Your hair was so nice, and silky! And he loved running his fingers through it and making different hairstyles and all that fun stuff.

He's kinda sad.

But also, you look really good with that hair style?

And you did it on your own?

....ever thought about opening a hair salon? People would pay so much if you had that much talent and skill.

Now, Mammon is most likely the one that is the best on emotions of ALL his brothers.

He can tell when you're not feeling yourself, and it's only like 100 times stronger thanks to the pact you both have.

He'll talk to you when you're both cuddled up in your room, asking you what happened.

When you tell him he'll put the mask he usually has on down and let you know how amazing you are and how proud he is.

Will offer to speak to Lucifer about getting you a therapist, if you'd like.

It won't matter if this is a common way you feel, it only happens once or twice or this only happened once.

He'll do anything you ask of him.

'Cause he loves you more than even money.

Kinda jealous because he' never be able to look good with a hairstyle like that.

And then you're just like

"Oh, I cut it myself."

And he just shirt circuts.

You can cut hair? And even more importantly, your own hair!?!?!?!??!?!

That's so cool!

Why did you never tell him?

At least he's happy that it doesn't seem like any of the others knew about it either.

Now, I honestly feel like Levi's bad thoughts about himself has led him down the path of self harm.

He's surpsingly strong willed, and almost always manages to catch himself and do something else.

And he recognizes what you did as a common thing to do instead.

Asks just to be sure.

And when you tell him that yes, that was why you did it, he's heartbroken.

You don't deserve feelings like that. Actually, you deserve everything good and only the good.

He'll be a lot nicer, doing his best to give you compliments on the new hairstyle and telling you how proud he is.

Mainly fails, but it's okay.

He's trying, and he'll try his best for you to be happy.

<3<3<3<3<3

This man feeds off of anger, so if you did it in a fit of rage or anger, no matter small, he's there in a second to ask how you're doing.

If not? He won't notice. It's only anger he can feel, much to his dismay.

He'll have troubles connecting the dots at first, and will only be handing you out compliments next to Asmo.

Then it hits him that it might be more to it, considering how you're acting.

He'll wait until after dinner and claim you have to help him with something.

Get's really angry when you tell him why you did it.

Not at you though, never at you. At himself, and lucifer, at everything.

He won't keep it up long though, calming down really quickly.

He'll ask you to sit down and read with him, or he'll read to you. Or you can do something on your D.D.D while he reads.

Whatever you want.

Hell, he might decide to let you drag him out somewhere.

Whatever it takes to make you feel even a tiny bit better.

Immediately gushing about how amazing you look with the new hairstyle.

He wants to know where you cut it in the first ten seconds he sees you.

Super shocked when he finds out you did it on your own.

Will ask you to trim his hair sometime.

To be fair, he's no stranger to doing things about his appearance in a fit of strong emotion.

Something Lucifer isn't always the happiest about.

He won't point it out though, if you want to talk, you know he's there.

He drops hints like that, just to be sure.

If you do tell him the reason, he'll immediately pull you in for a hug and shower you in compliments.

Not only on your appearance, but on how amazing you did to cut your hair instead of cutting your skin.

Self care day

He'll push away any of his brothers, doing his best to make you feel the most confident you have ever felt in your own body

Also, he'll make sure you know he's there for you and offer to get a therapist if you'd like one

When it starts to get late he'll put on a movie in the background and cuddle you💞💞💞

He thinks you look great with the new hairstyle!

You looked amazing before as well, but you also look amazing now!

Honestly, he kinda forgets about it during the dinner, a hair cut doesn't change who you are and you're still his very best friend and love of his life

He'll do his normal "get up at 12am and drag you for midnight snacks."

And if you tell him, he'll drop his food and pull you in for a hug

He doesn't say much, but offers you his food.

Whenever he's sad, food makes him feel better, so he does what he knows and hopes it'll share you up too

He'll also be willing to do anything you ask

Want him to carry you? Hug you? Cuddles? Want him to talk to lucifer for you? Want to vent? Want to cry?

He's there for you

Honestly, I doubt he even notices.

He's to busy sleeping to care.

When he DOES notice it's when he drags you down to sleep and tries nuzzling his face into your long hair-

Wait it's gone?

He'll get kinda pissy, 'cause he liked your long hair, but then he noticed it's still super soft and just goes back to sleep

He won't even bring up the possibility that you did it as an alternative to self harm

It crossed his mind but he refuses to believe it

If you tell him, he'll react kinda negatively, and won't talk to you

For like 30 minutes max

Most likely only for like 5 minutes though

He'll realize that he should be there for you

Isn't sure what to do, so he just kinda cuddles you and apologies for how he reacted

He's very lazy put he puts in an extra effort to tell you how proud he is

Because cutting your hair is way better than hurting yourself and you did super good doing the hair cutting instead

He'll let his brothers help you during the day, and have you cuddle with him at night so he can make sure you have the best dreams

I'd say he's horrible at it, but the effort is actually pretty obvious and he makes sure you're guarded in the night

He tries

His best

And it works to some degree

<3