#sorry for venting on main i just have to write things and know that someone sees them

[angelpuns]

I have spent all afternoon/night trying not to rot and I don't even know how to explain what that means but oh my god I'm so- urrgehfhrh I'm like- everything just feels so bad

[the-pigeon]

sometimes you just gotta sit down and realise that you kinda suck. and then you gotta learn to deal with that

[ambrosiagoldfish]

HI! Can I request Vox, husk or anyone else with a s/o who has an addiction problem?

Yes I know my Grammar and punctuation is out of line 🙏🏽

Hazbin Hotel x Addict!Reader

(Vox, Husk, and Angel Dust)

Viewer Discretion is Advised!

Warning: Drug/Alcohol Abuse, Gn!Reader, Reader being defensive, happy-ish endings.

Request Box: Open

Word count: 1170

A/n: Hi! Thank you for the request! This is my first time writing both Vox and Husk so I had to do some research (and by research, I mean reading 2+ hours of how other write them) to get an idea of their main characterization.

I really enjoyed writing this as I personally have my own experiences with addicts and how it’s affected me as a person. So this was also a little bit of a vent post if anything. I also added Angel cause I think it fits the theme but also he’s one of my comfort characters and writing for him made me happy.

Hope you enjoy <3

Proofread like once so sorry for any mistakes!



Vox

He’s used to being friends/knowing addicts. I mean one of his closest allies (And TOTES not previous hook-up buddy) Valentino, is also an addict who also employs many as well. So he’s not a stranger to it.

So mostly he’s indifferent to it, almsot desensitized to it. He doesn’t really see a danger to it, I mean we’re in hell and you can’t exactly OD and die

But of course, death isn’t the only thing that can happen when you're an addict. The breakdown of you as a person often happens, as well as you being reckless with money. And this is where Vox starts to have a problem.

If you’re in a relationship with Vox, then clearly you mean a lot to him, he may not be the most expressive about it but he does. So to see the partner that he has opened up to and grown attached to deteriorate slowly in front of him is something he refuses to accept.

So one day he cancels a meeting with his staff and calls you to his office so you two will be alone. When you get there he gives you a cup of coffee and you catch up a bit. How was your day? Have you ate yet? Those kinds of things.

Until finally he decides to just break open the floodgates with one simple statement.

“Darling… I think you should get clean”

You were caught off guard at first

“It’s fine, What’s the problem? we’re in hell”

He then comes out with his honest opinion

“*Sigh* I know it’s hell and you can’t die… but surely you can see how it would make me a bit… worried for you.”

He paused

“I mean even last week you spent all the allowance I gave you on it and you would have starved if I didn’t buy you food, surely you can see why it’s a fucking problem!”

Eventually after talking and depending on how it goes you either agree to go clean or it ends with an argument and he’ll just try again later.

If you agree, he’ll make sure he’s with you ever step of your sobriety. Considering he’s one of the top rising Overlords and owns VoxTech he’s got money so He’ll higher the best people to help you go clean(Do therapist exist in hell?)

“Thank you dear, you have no idea how much this means to me”

Husk

Similar to Vox in a lot of ways but also really different. He himself is an addict with alcohol so he clearly understands the struggles of it.

He has lots of walls up but for someone who “lost the ability to love” he sure does care a lot for you. I don’t think he would try a get you to go clean, at least not right away (or even at the beginning of the relationship) simply cause he thinks he doesn’t have a right to judge. So in all honesty he might just let you be.

That is until he realizes that you do it to forget things and ignore your problems/past. He knew first hand that drowning your sorrows away with your choice of addictive vice did nothing but harm you.

Then when you two are alone at his bar he’ll talk to you about it in a similar way he did with Angel. Perhaps a bit more softer than he did with Angel but even then “softer” is a bit of an overstatement.

“Look, I know you got a lot of shit that you don’t want to think about… but doing this *sigh* it’s not going to work, at least not in the long term.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

He laughs. I mean, you were right. He was single handedly the worst person to be judging you. But surely you can understand his point of view, right?

Either way though, he leaves it alone again. Occasionally bringing it up when you’re both alone. He expresses the same sentiment about it each time hoping that eventually, hopefully…you’ll come to see from his perspective.

When you do finally see that he’s worried for you and understand why, you agree to go clean. Which, for once in a long while, made his supposedly cold dead heart melt.

“Glad you finally came to your senses… Seriously, I’m glad…”

Angel

He is THE addict of the show, so obviously he knows what you are going through and THEN some. Now,. Here’s the thing, how he handles it depends HEAVILY on when exactly you got with him/when you started having you addiction problem.

If you started dating him when you already were an addict he most definitely wouldn’t question anything about it. Hell, chances are you both might have taken part in it together. And it’s only when he starts making progress in the hotel (post EP4) is when he starts realizing how bad of an influence you both were on each other.

If you started sometime AFTER you both started dating then this boy would honestly feel terrible about it, ESPECIALLY after EP4 when he actually started being sober more often. He’d feel like he was a bad influence on you and that it was his fault you turned to your addiction.

Either way though, he will eventually realize that he doesn’t want you to be/continue to be on the same path he was. He’d talk to Charlie about arranging you to stay in the hotel, either in your own room or you guys could share one (he would honestly prefer the latter) and then after the preparations are made he would finally ask you too

Angel wasn’t expecting it to be easy, he gets what it’s like to suddenly be asked to go clean. And he knows how addicts act when they don’t get there vices, how he acts. So he mentally prepared himself for the worst first before asking you to come over and talk.

“Uh… Y/n can I talk to you about somethin’?”

You nod your head

“I’ve been thinking and… I think you should crash here at the hotel with me… and’ go clean.”

You only laugh “Angie I’m glad this hotel thing is workin’ for ya but that’s not really my style. No- I mean, I’m fine!”

Angel knows he put you on the spot, so he lightens off a bit but continues pressing on. He explains how he feels and how he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you, to end up where he is. The poor boy starts crying honestly with how much he’s worried. He rarely opens up to people so this was a big step for him.

Seeing how much he cared and worried about you really put into perspective how important this was to him. So you agreed after some thinking.

“*sniff* thank you Baby, I’ll be there with you every step of the way… I love ya’ you know.”

[staarlight-snow]

Reflections in the Murky Waters

[Short sequel to Murky Waters - Island of the Slaughtered]

TW: panic attacks (??), nightmares, ig horror, mentioned death

"Well, hoping is the only thing we can do right now.. Why not make the most of it? Right Noah?"

-

Cody jumped up from where he lay in cold sweat, tightly gripping at his shirt. His breathing was heavy and he felt tears run down his cheeks. He softly groaned – covering his ears with both his hands, his surroundings were quiet but his mind was loud. He winced at every memory, every thought and every imagery that stayed in his mind

"Another nightmare again?" A soft voice spoke, shuffling in her side of the cabin. "S-sorry.. Did I wake you?" Cody asked, moving his hands away from where they were. "No.." Gwen whispered, moving closer to the other. "I'm having trouble sleeping.. It's like every time I close my eyes I can hear him call my name." She vented, staring at the rotting wooden floor beneath them.

"Yeah.. I get the feeling. I have this.. recurring dream." He confessed, picking at the seams of his jeans. "Yeah? Want to talk about it?" Gwen offered, tilting her head as she looked at the boy. Cody took a deep breath and closed his eyes, images flashing in his mind. "It starts out with me, I walk out of the cabin holding some stuff. And I look out in the forest and he's there.. He's alive." He dragged out that last part with pain in his voice.

"I make my way towards him but.." He stopped for a moment. He hated this part. "E-every damn time I could even get close to him.. He gets pulled into the forest.. A-and it's quick! I ran after him, as fast as I could. Every night I go to bed, I try to save him.. even if it's only in my dream.." He breathed out, his voice getting weaker by the second. He's never confided these dreams with anyone before. He never thought talking about them could be just as painful as having them.

"But no matter how I try and what I do.. I couldn't save him." Tears were streaming down his face and his voice was broken. It was a pain to hear it. "Heh.. There was this one time, I managed to get to him in time. I had his hand in mine. And I was pulling him out of the water but something was also pulling him down. He told me 'Let go because it'll hurt more if you keep dwelling on it' I-I don't know if that was my brain telling me to get over it or.. if it was actually Noah.." Cody finished, he opened his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

Gwen moved her hand to the others back to console him. "It takes time to heal and right now, everyone in this cabin needs it but I think our main focus right now is to survive.. There's no point in healing if you know you'll get hurt again the next day." She sighed in defeat. It was like every slither of hope they had was slowly drifting away and all they had left was their lives. "Surviving? What's the point! There's nothing to live for anymore." Cody cried. "Don't say that!" Gwen scolded, furrowing her eyebrows.

"We promised we'd get out together.. And that's what I had going for me.. It's not like someone's waiting for me at home anyway." He muttered in between sobs, moving his legs closer to his chest. Gwen looked at the other and sighed. "Can you atleast promise me we'll both get out of here? You and me.." She asked. Cody slumped over and rested his chin on top of his knees.

"It's what they would've wanted.." He answered. "You're right.. They're our friends, they only want what's best for us." Gwen smiled, to which Cody returned. They hadn't smiled in a while – they never found a reason to anyway.

Maybe this time the world will be fair.

--

i woke up and immediately thought, "man cody's brain chemistry must've been fucked lmao.. lemme write abt that" HUAHAUAHUA I CRAVE ANGST RAGHH 👺👺 *feral gremlin noises*

anyway this isnt me shipping gwen and cody, unless u wanna view it that way ig 🤨 i just think they'll hv a kind of bond and comfort in one another ngl 😔

[seokmthw]

oh shit, are we in love? | zhang hao

⇢ pairing: zhang hao x reader

⇢ warnings: fluff, a smidge of angst, brief mentions of a toxic relationship

⇢ word count: 1.5k

prompt #5 "you don't have to be so brave with me"

prompt #12 "let's kiss and see where it takes us"

⇢ note: i realized i'm severely lacking zhang hao on my main masterlist and saw this request sitting in my inbox and just had to write it. i went a little crazy with the word count, but hao is so easy for me to write for so it came naturally to me. i hope you all enjoy!

JOIN MY TAGLIST!

you sniffled, hand coming up to wipe the stinging hot tears away from your eyes, which were focused on the screen of your phone, an image of you and your now ex-boyfriend on full display for you to see. you’d been managing your breakup a lot worse than you anticipated, and when the photo had shown up in your memories, it caused something within you to snap and you cried harder than you have over the past several months since your breakup. maybe it was how happy you looked while he appeared to be losing his love for you, or maybe it was because you longed so badly for something like that again, but you just couldn’t stop the flow of your tears once they started.

throughout your mourning process, you relied very heavily on zhang hao, a boy you met in your music class a couple of semesters ago. he was always there for you when you needed him and made time for you even when he was busy with something. he was the type of person whose presence alone was comforting and you were grateful to have someone like him in your life.

you'd grown almost a little too fond of zhang hao. every little brush of his hand against yours or the hug he gave you when you needed it the most shouldn't have been making the butterflies in your belly flutter around, but they did, and you weren't sure what to make of it. part of you wondered if it was too soon, or if he might be the person you dreamed of being with all along, but you didn't want to ruin what you currently had and decided to keep your lips sealed.

during your most recent state of hysteria, you texted him something almost incoherent about not wanting to be alone and needing him by your side more than ever, but now that you had calmed down a little bit, you tried taking back your words and apologizing to him. but hao was stubborn, and despite being in the middle of his violin practice, he responded quickly and told you he was packing his things up and would be on his way soon.

you felt a little guilty, sure, but the bigger majority of your brain was just ecstatic he would be there, and you'd be able to vent and be in his presence. almost as if on a queue, the sound of his knuckles rapping lightly against your door was echoing throughout your room, mingling with a sniffle as you rose from your nest of blankets on your bed and shuffled to the door.

pulling the heavy, wooden object toward you, hao greeted you with gentlest and softest smile you think you'd ever seen from him. you stepped aside, allowing him entry into your room - which was a disaster, but he never really cared - and watched as he set his belongings down on the floor at the foot of your bed. you shut the door, turning around to be greeted with his arms outstretched, welcoming you to melt into him whenever you were ready.

it didn't take long, because within mere seconds you had your arms secured around his waist and your cheek resting on his chest. hao's arms wrapped around your shoulders, enveloping you in a warmth you didn't know you needed, and he rested his chin atop your head.

you sighed, new tears springing into your eyes and dripping onto your cheeks, and inevitably soaking through the fabric of his sweatshirt. you squeezed him slightly, desperate to get him as physically close to you as possible while mumbling, “thank you for coming here, i’m sorry i interrupted your violin practice.”

“hey now, you don't have to be sorry,” his voice was soft as he spoke, “besides, the instructor often wonders why i even show up because he thinks i’m a musical genius. when i told him i needed to go, he barely even let me finish my sentence and was practically pushing me out of the door.”

“well still, you didn't have to come at all. it's just me being a little ridiculous anyway,” you replied, finally pulling away from him and motioning for him to join you in snuggling down under your blankets.

he crawled into the bed beside you, allowing you to settle down into his side, your head resting gently on his shoulder as he pulled the thick comforter over the two of you. hao glanced down at you, parting his lips to speak, “emotions you feel are never ridiculous you know. you can talk about whatever it is you want and i will never judge you or think you're being silly.”

you nodded, hesitant to even say anything at all, so instead you just allowed your eyes to flutter shut, letting your words die in your throat so you didn't mess up and say the wrong thing.

hao was quick to notice, even though you felt you were hiding it pretty well. he brushed a strand of hair out of your face, concern evident in his expression as he said, “you don't have to be so brave with me. what’s on your mind?”

you shifted slightly, anxious to even think about beginning to tell him anything, but your mouth worked quicker than you mind, “it's just, throughout this whole breakup process, i think i’ve realized i have feelings for someone and it feels so soon but so right and i don't know what to do.”

“you're a human being, it's only natural you have feelings for people. besides, it's been months since your breakup and you're allowed to move on if you want to,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“i’m just scared it'll ruin everything,” you replied, averting your gaze from his to find interest in your chipping nail polish instead.

“well, if they're someone who truly cares about you, then they wouldn't let it ruin anything,” unbeknownst to you, he never looked away from you, “maybe you could tell them, the worst that could happen is that they say no.”

you sighed, “that's thing, i did just tell him.”

looking up, you caught the shocked expression of hao. the corners of your mouth twitched up ever so slightly, voice barely above a whisper as you said, “it's you, hao.”

the look on his face was incredibly difficult for you to read. you could feel panic beginning to settle in, knowing you had more than likely screwed everything up, and you couldn't help the tears that began to fall again. the only thing you could manage to say was “i’m sorry” in between your little cries, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as you could.

hao caught you off guard, pulling you back to him, hands cupping your face gently. he wiped the tears away with his thumbs, asking, “now why on earth are you sorry?”

“because i can tell you don't feel the same and that i just made everything so awkward,” you refused to make eye contact with him as you answered his question.

you heard a small chuckle slip past his lips, “y/n, you're not making anything awkward. i’m just surprised you return my feelings at all. why do you think i’ve always been so eager to spend time with you, even when i’m occupied with other things?”

now it was your turn to adorn a baffled look, jaw slightly agape as you processed his words. hao was the first to say something again, this time keeping your overall well-being in mind, “this doesn't have to move fast, it can be at whatever pace you want. it honestly could just not happen at all. tell me what you want and i’ll give it to you, i promise.”

“i-” you started, opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water, desperate to find the right words. finally, you settled on, “let’s kiss and see where it takes us?”

you felt extremely shy asking, almost shrinking into yourself at such an absurd request, but hao wouldn't let you, because within mere seconds he was closing the distance between the two of you and molding his lips with yours. you gripped onto the front of his sweatshirt ever so slightly, eyes fluttering closed and the feeling of pure euphoria filling up every inch of your body.

you hadn't felt so seen or appreciated in a long time, and finally getting to kiss the boy you'd dreamed of for so long was almost surreal. you became putty in his hands, allowing him to pull you closer to his body, a string of kisses following suit.

you finally pulled away for air, your grin reflecting hao’s as you said, “i think i like where this is going.

“good,” he beamed, giving you another kiss in between his words, “because i do too.”

[samanthahirr]

007 Fest 2024 Intro Post

Well, I got here at a quarter to 9 for my meeting with Bill Tanner—the chief of staff's my main point of contact. And quite a good friend, really, since I've been servicing EPS's contract for the Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office here for the last three years, and…oh, sorry, I'm Bethany Arden, the EPS facilities manager for MI6's Vauxhall headquarters. You could say I know every inch of this building—because I do! From the physical-security perimeter barriers outside to every air vent and water pipe, there's no structural detail too small for my blueprints.

And today, I came bearing great news! The FCDO finally approved a budget for a much-needed refresh of the furnishings. Listen, can I be honest for a moment? I love this building to bits, but it's one of the ugliest in my portfolio by far, strictly on an interior design basis. You have to agree, this place's design aesthetic should have been buried along with Margaret Thatcher—all that walnut wainscoting and brown leather upholstery, ugh. Hardly the modern, agile look and feel you want to project to important visitors, is it?

Speaking of agile, you should see the new ergonomic chair designs in my supplier's 2024 catalogue. They've also got some surprisingly affordable standing desks that raise and lower with the press of a button—who says you can't be Equality Act-compliant and still be stylish, eh?

So, as I was saying, I arrived early, lugging this far-too-heavy-for-me tote bag of fabric and paint swatches…oh, could you? That's so kind, thank you. And I confess my nose was buried in another catalogue, bookmarking new seating units that might replace those dreadfully uncomfortable plaid numbers in the lobby, so I didn't even notice Doris at the front desk was asleep at her post for a whole five minutes. I mean, I did think it odd that Bill didn't answer my text right away; he's always appreciative of punctuality. But then someone started screaming down the hall, and when I finally looked around I spotted Doris, and those two guards passed out in the corner, and—

Well. Looks like I'll be rescheduling my meeting. Once all of this is…sorted. But don't you think we ought to call emergency services? Surely some outside help will straighten this out. No? Oh. Oh, I suppose you're right. Well, all hands on deck, as they say. I'm happy to help however I can.

Just, um, one more thing. Has anyone seen Bill?

~

Hi all, I'm samanthahirr aka Sam, and I'm so looking forward to my third 007 Fest for the @mi6-cafe! I'm on Station Atlantic, and I bring fic-writing, moodboard-dabbling, and enthusiastic-commenting skills to the team!

[foreverdolly]

Hi, I wanted to say something about those last terrible messages you got of people rushing you/being mad about updates. Take your time love, no rush take all the time you need. This is your blog and should bring you happiness. You shouldn’t have to worry about people getting about updates/fics. I’m so sorry about those terrible people. Sending all the love in the world 💕

hello there, angel!

thank you so so much for your kind words. i've taken some time to myself to breathe and mourn, which has been genuinely beneficial to me and my mental health. life has really not been kind to me over the last few months (my friend passing and then my father), and i don't want that to take away from me writing nor posting. writing has always been a main source of joy for me, and it has led me to finding all of you. so i truly feel blessed!

i also don't want to focus too much on it any more. . . just because this blog has been a reprieve for me. it's good to vent about things, and there's a lot that i want to get off of my chest as far as my dad goes and how utterly depressing the entire process was, but i don't want the doom and gloom to turn people away or potentially trigger them due to their own life experiences.

i'm here to make friends, not make people sad or feel sorry for me (though i truly appreciate all of the kindness and sympathy that has been shown to me since april.)

i want this space to be safe for people. to be able to give back the love that i have received from most of you is my main goal, and i will continue to post as often as i possibly can. writers block will hit, i will get sick, mental health will decline and incline- it's just a part of life. i still intend to write regardless though!

and to those very few people that have messaged me to let me know that they are angry with me because of my lapse in updates: please go ahead and block me. if you cannot show another person that is going through a severely hard time grace then you are not deserving of that same person's hard work. someone that i spent my entire life loving passed away in a very traumatic way. i feel like you can't relate and maybe that is why there's some sort of disconnect. either that or you do not actually value me as a human being. either way- ungratefulness, entitlement and selfishness is not appreciated here.

love love love you guys!

[makerofmadness]

What's with Balloon Boy and the Daycare Attendant?

The Balloon World arcade machine exists, it's in the DA's room and both characters are involved in it. It's probably one of the most cryptic minigames in the FNAF series as a whole, but while we could ponder what exactly it's supposed to mean (maybe I'll do that for all the security breach minigames eventually), the main question I have is this:

WHY Balloon Boy specifically? Why is the minigame about HIM?

Is there a connection between the two characters? Or was it a completely random decision?

Out of nowhere, thinking about Balloon World, I came to a realization:

The Lights.

Balloon Boy's entire gimmick in FNAF 2 was that if he got into your office, he would disable your flashlight and vent lights (...somehow. I know we all make the jokes about him taking the batteries [and then that FNAF 57: Freddy In Space thing in FNAF World said he just straight-up steals your entire flashlight], but you never see the battery icon disappear or appear empty in FNAF 2 itself when he gets into your office. And the vent lights also stop working, so unless they also operate on batteries, then... does he actually take them from you?).

What's the one rule in the daycare?

Keep the lights on.

His mechanic is the antithesis to what Sun wants and exactly what Moon would want. Balloon Boy doesn't keep the lights on. He prevents you from turning them on at all.

(which also makes me kinda sad there wasn't a Glamrock version of BB. Then again, I don't know how exactly he would've uniquely affected like anything. Regardless I am hoping for the day someone in the fandom makes a glamrock bb who is arch-enemies with sun and gets along well with moon skseijdndndnd-)

It feels kinda obvious and I'm guessing I'm not the only person to think about this, but I have never seen anyone else bring this up. Not on YouTube, not on tumblr, nowhere. Maybe if I go looking for it I'll see, but i'm surprised I haven't bumped into anyone else saying this just naturally. I go into the BB tags a LOT, surely SOMEONE would've said something, right? I don't even see it noted in the trivia on the page for the arcade game on the fnaf wiki.

...but is this supposed to mean anything? Or is it just a cute little reference or callback? it's hard to say, especially with how ambiguous the minigame is.

Though I DID think of ONE thing... (possible minor spoilers for Ruin under the cut):

Saw this pointed out in a youtube video that the BB World screen (with Eclipse, who makes their proper debut in Ruin after effectively being foreshadowed by the minigame in SB's base game) can be seen on the ceiling in the DA's room. Which makes sense, obviously, but also take note of the pirate-themed windows in the hallway leading to it.

...now, which character do most of us tend to associate with Balloon Boy? His "tag-team partner," of sorts?

Foxy. The Pirate.

With this, I found that there's more Foxy-related stuff associated with the daycare area than I had previously realized because I had never made any connections before. I mean, Kids' Cove is directly linked to it for god's sake.

Like. I hope i haven't forgotten to mention anything (I've been writing this post over the course of hours 'Cus I had stuff to do in the middle of it all). My brain's kinda starting to fry. But basically: Was Foxy originally meant to be the Daycare Attendant, in-universe? Was there gonna be a Glamrock Balloon Boy with him, like as his first mate or something??? Were they gonna be connected to Fazbear Theater????? (Uh basically Sun/Moon to my knowledge from confirmation in the books and a lot of more subtle implications in-game mainly involving environmental pieces were originally meant to be in the Fazbear Theater as a stage animatronic but got moved to daycare duty instead and being reprogrammed. Which actually explains a lot about them when you think about it-)

Like. Ok I'm forgetting where I was going with this, I'm sorry, but I guess it's food for thought/adds to the weird connections between DA and BB, I guess. Idk. I can't focus that well right now to keep making new ideas.

felt like sharing my interpretation of the Balloon World minigame itself at least since earlier I did kinda finally get it down concretely:

I kinda developed a theory that Eclipse is Sun/Moon's "safe mode" and that rebooting DA reactivated Eclipse as a result. Like, they're their own AI that was at one point implemented. but then Vanny happened and locked them out thanks to the whole Glitchtrap virus thing (albeit it only seemed to reach Moon, while Sun remains seemingly unaffected. Guessing it's because they're different AIs [finally implied/basically confirmed by their Ruin dialogue). Eclipse has seemingly not been active for some time, or at least never post-pizzaplex closure, given how they're seemingly completely oblivious to the fact that this place is closed with no signs of opening.

So the minigame was foreshadowing Eclipse's existence and implying their "trapped" nature, which also could be seen as paralleling Vanessa's whole "Vanny" situation, especially given how iirc one of the messages related to princess quest can be found near the arcade machine.

[tinybirbwrites]

Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way. 

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders. 

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

-

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment. 

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time. 

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?” 

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

-

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you. 

It was your blog. 

It was your writing. 

Your Nightwing fanfics. 

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?” 

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours. 

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios. 

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them. 

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person. 

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret. 

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him. 

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself. 

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now. 

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too. 

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

-

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since. 

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew. 

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing. 

He was nice like that. Goddammit. 

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message. 

From Dick. 

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything. 

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages. 

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you. 

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.” 

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words. 

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time. 

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both. 

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser. 

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure. 

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?” 

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

[mlm-mod-taka]

I will order again! Sorry if it's overwhelming you or something, I really like your writing and you can write at your own pace ^-^

Can I request makoto (once again because I love him), shuichi and hajime (separate ofc) with a man who represses his feelings and can't vent because he was taught that "boys don't cry" since childhood and was pressured by society?

It can be a sensitive subject, you don't need to write if you don't feel comfortable! I'm waiting :)

REPRESSED READER • makoto, hajime & shuichi x male reader

ah, hello! i remember alot of people requesting these three specifically back during the peak of my account. i hope i can still do them justice! though i will admit, i never finished v3 and barely remember it now... so i apologize if shuichi is a little out of character. thats all, i do hope this was worth the wait!

tws/cws: repressed feelings & mentions of societal pressures towards men.

|| -> mod taka <3

makoto has always craved closeness with you. you're his boyfriend, his lover, and he wants to get to know you better, but he knows better than to pressure people who aren't ready yet. so, he waits for you while giving gentle encouragement.

he encourages you by using himself as an example. sharing little things about himself when you two are sleepily cuddling, mumbling things that made him cry when he was younger to you, anything that might reassure you that its okay to be honest about your feelings, that its okay to cry.

theres nothing he won't do to make you feel more comfortable around him. when he loves someone, he'd do anything for them. if he notices even a slight signal of discomfort from you about something, he'll immediately lead you away from it. if he picks up on a subtle mannerism you do whenever you get upset, he'll remember it for the rest of his life.

tries to subtly point out how his classmates show their masculinity in different ways, but are still comfortable being upset or sharing negative emotions around others. he's not as subtle as he thinks he is, with him mentioning takas crying and hiros natural cowardly nature whenever you look down, but you appreciate the thought.

he understands that the problem is bigger than himself, and societal pressures combined with bad teachings made you this way, but the least he can do is to try to make you feel as unjudged as possible so that maybe, you can start healing.

whenever you're sad, he will always present himself as an option for comfort. "i understand if you want to be alone right now, but... if you ever wanna talk to someone, i'm always here for you." if you don't come to him, that's okay, you just need more time. and if you do, he'll treat you like the most precious thing in the world, and will cling to every word you say.

will never rush things. maybe he'll nudge you in the right direction often, but if you're not ready, he'll never force you. is willing to wait for you to open up on your own terms, no matter how long it takes. while he waits, he busies himself by making sure he can be your safe space.

is much more forward with trying to help you. not to the point where its forceful or uncomfortable, but its something that he wants to help you with, and he makes sure you know that.

"you know... men can cry, men can scream their feelings out, and sometimes they do both at the same time. they're still men at the end of the day, even after they do all that." will say things like that to you every once in awhile when you two are alone and if you're having a bad day. being direct and undeniable, while still remaining careful and loving is his main approach.

as caring as he is, he's also quite salty, and holds a bit of a grudge towards the people and system that forced you to lock your feelings in a safe. he has quiet criticisms of the way people perceive men expressing their feelings before, but meeting and loving someone who is an embodiment of the problems these treatments can cause makes him feel even stronger about the issue.

will be defensive if anyone ever tells you to "man up" or to "be a man", even if its just a lighthearted statement. "hey, don't say that to people. what do you know about what men should and shouldn't be able to do?" he'll confront them with a frown on his face.

is very cautious about letting mahiru around you. as much as he enjoys her company and sees her as a friend, her views would definitely hammer your bad habits into you more, so he tries his best to watch over any interactions you have with her.

if you're okay with the idea of it, he'd initiate a weekly movie night where you two watch a bunch of sad movies. it almost always ends in him tearing up and voicing all his sadness about the film to you in hopes that maybe one day, you'll reciprocate and do the same with him.

his approach is more direct, protective, and defensive than how makoto would go about it, but he just wants you to feel unchained around him. he wants you to open up without any fear of getting made fun of, he wants to love you for all you are, ugly emotions and all.

from my observations, he's the most emotional out of these three. that may be a bad thing to other people, but because of this, he'd be the one you can relate to the most in the group.

he could relate to how you feel. while he definitely didn't have it as hard as you, he understands what its like to feel like you had to act a certain way just to be considered a man. he remembers all the times he got made fun of for his fear of exposing the truth as a detective.

others could be so cruel to emotional people, and especially cruel to emotional men. he talks about his personal experiences every once in awhile, a sad smile on his face as he recalls others poking fun at him not initiating eye contact.

however, what comes with the territory of being made fun of for something you know is a part of you, is knowing you're not in the wrong for feeling emotions. he'll reassure you with his own experiences, mainly telling you he'd never make fun of you for crying or showing "cowardly" emotions, because he does those things too.

being emotional or shedding tears is not a weakness to him, its what makes humans human. he wished someone taught you that when you were younger, instead of teaching you horrible, toxic mindsets that would do nothing except stunt yourself.

isn't as active as makoto or protective as hajime, but he's definitely the most patient and understanding. he won't push you into things you're not ready for, but will always be your cheerleader if you do decide you're ready.

is very watchful over you. he juggles with trying to not interfere with the pace of your healing and discovery, while also trying to make sure you don't dig yourself deeper into the hole you're already in.

whenever you might dig yourself deeper, he's always there to be your life line and pull you away from that. he may not want to you to feel rushed, but he also certainly does not want want you to feel slowed down in terms of progress. with a lot of concerned dissuading and serious late night conversations, he always manages to pull you back into the safety of his arms.

he would wait until the end of time for you. no matter how many times he has to talk you out of returning to old habits, and no matter how many times he has to hold back the urge to insert himself into your healing process, he'll always be waiting for you with open arms and a warm, understanding smile.

[nerdieforpedro]

II - Lips and Tongue

Only Parts of you Mr. Morales

Frankie Morales x Belinda (plus size OFC)

This fic is for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 609

Summary: When Francisco and Belinda’s relationship changed last year.

Warnings: Agnst, longing, implied and actual sexual activity, Frankie Morales’ MOUTH, mention of infidelity

Notes: I’m pretty sure I know where this series is gonna go, but it could change as it often does when I write. 😊 The ideas are fast and furious.

Main Masterlist/ Frankie “Catfish” Morales Masterlist/ Only Parts of You Mr. Morales Series

Last year after Francisco returned from his month-long trip with his brothers in arms, he banged on Belinda’s door. The wee hours of the morning seem to be when poor decisions are made.

This is where things began.

When Belinda opened her door, she was greeted by a thin line where Frankie’s plush lips normally were. He parted them but said nothing. She stepped aside so he could enter. When he faced away from her, he spoke:

“Still no shoes in the house, right? Lo siento cariño (I’m sorry sweetheart).” He bends to removes his boots and looks up at her, bottom lip quivering. She’s unsure if he’s saying sorry to her or talking about something else entirely. He’s here but appears to be miles away.

Belinda invites him to shower in her bedroom, wash off a layer of whatever he might be burdened with. She says he can stay in her bed too; she doesn’t want him to be alone. Normally he’d talk more and be making jokes at Benny or Pope’s expense. He keeps biting his lips.

“If you don’t want to talk Fish, that’s fine. What else can I do? You want some food?” Her questions have him staring at her from her bathroom. She’s sitting on the bed in a plain gray shirt and red sleep shorts he’s seen the last few years he’s known her. Been inside her house and slept on her couch for various reasons. He’s thought about it often, but she’s always had someone better than him, but still not good enough for her.

Francisco knows he’s going to ask a taboo question between friends. One he shouldn’t be allowed to ask, not to someone who doesn’t have blood on their hands and who can sleep at night. “I don’t need any food. I need to eat. Can I eat you mi bizcochito (my little cake)?”

Belinda heard his question. She should have asked more questions or any questions. But Fish has made his way across the room and is kneeling down before her, soft lips pressing against the back of her hand, then on her thigh. Her hands lift his head and trace his lips, he flicks his tongue out with a smile. A man’s mouth should not be this devastatingly beautiful.

“Vente aqui (come here) Francisco. We’ll use each other.” Capturing his lips with hers was the beginning. The night ended after she soaked his tongue twice and Frankie held Belinda in his lap before falling asleep with her on top him. His tongue licked her neck making her groan while she slept.

In the morning, they agreed not to talk about it. It would be the one time only. Frankie thanked her for it.

Belinda had allowed him in, to love her as he knew how. He doesn’t know the words to say what he really wants. He’s convinced himself he has no right to her love or devotion.

Later that week his tongue would explore her folds again; he would show her this way. Maybe she would understand this way.

Belinda comprehends what Frankie makes her feel, that they still go out for drinks with everyone after he’s left marks from his sucking of her skin, covered by her clothes. She yearns more but has no idea what Fish wants from her other than to drink from her. She left her fiance shortly after Morales came back from his trip, citing that they just weren’t compatible. She’d never tell that nice man about the trembling lips that had her betray him.

She’s not any better than Frankie with thoughts muddled from those cushioned lips and supple tongue.

Hands Back

Catfish Bowl: @yorksgirl @megamindsecretlair @guelyury @magpiepillsjunior @legendary-pink-dot @bitchwitch1981 @katw474 @rosecentury @rhoorl @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @trulybetty @maggiemayhemnj @schnarfer @rav3n-pascal22 @bishtrouille @alltheotps @pedroshotwifey

[belit0]

HEYYYYYY!!! Thank you so much for working and accepting my request! I was the one who asked for the Madara oneshot where his wife gives birth to his son. IT TOUCHED ME SOO SOO MUCH YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD WRITER A LITERALLY CRIED AS I READ THE PARTS WITH IZUNA IT WAS TOO EMOTIONAL. You did so much more then i expect and i can’t thank you enough. The way how you wrote that Oneshot, the way how emotional ans touching it was, you let me cry too much for that it was too good you brought me to tears!😭 i love your writing very much and i love how unique ans beautiful your works are because you alway work on such good request and that is what makes your writing style so special. No one would be able to write auch complicated characters as Indra and the Uchiha’s in such a realistic and relate able way, you truly have the talent and if i am being totally honest, i read your works almost every time no matter how many times i read them. They never get boring for me because of your well written way you represent the characters in your oneshots or request, you do have my talent because you are the only one who actually sees the truth behind the cold mask of the Uchiha’s. You write them so realistic ans that is what makes me read your writings all over again. I love this blog so much it’s my safe place. Whenever i feel down or in a bad mood, i would always check ip on your blog to just read your mesmerizing work! (I am so sorry if i write to much but i honest just CAN’T stop to praise you since you and your blog means so so much too me😭‼️) If i may, i wanted to ask for another request for Madara. (I apologize again, i can’t get enough from this man😭) About Madara confession his love to his s/o after pushing her away and hurting her countless times because well.. he is Madara. How will he confess it to her after denying it for so long? I know it’s a very.. weird request but i hope you will understand it. I love your blog and your the only writer i do admire so much. Taking care of all your request is truly admire! Your work’s are so overrated just like you because you are way too good at writing the Uchiha’s. There is no need to accept my request, i just wanted to make you feel loved and appreciated. You mean so much to me please never disappear🫶🏻

You have no idea how happy I am to know that this is someone's safe place. This blog started as a tacit and fictional way to vent, my own safe place, and it makes me so happy to know that it extends to others, that someone feels comfortable and supported here, that's all I've ever tried to achieve!!😭🙌🏻💕

I'm not going to lie, my main idea was to shatter hearts with that Oneshot, ghost! Izuna always manages to get to everyone's core👻❣️

Regarding the Uchiha, I always do my best to make them realistic, they have very complicated personalities that are sometimes hard to deal with, but I do my best🤠

Coincidentally, Indra is the love of my life, and the most difficult of all!!!! There is not a single piece in which I don't find it hard to work with him, a pleasant effort of course, but complicated all the same👀💫 Love me a good ass challenge

He is unable to define what hurts more, the agony of having pushed her away or the grief of now missing her madly. Madara carries an ancestral struggle with his complicated feelings from the time he learned to stand on his feet, always confused and unsure of what is going on inside him.

The only thing he could always identify was anger, violence, dark sensations in his chest that compelled him to go out and kill, vent, yet he never learned to cope with those things considered good, healthy, beautiful.

(Y/N) brought for him a whirlwind of unknown experiences, a leap into an uncertain void, not knowing what awaits at the bottom, throwing himself into the possibilities she proposed. He didn't plan to fall in love, didn't plan to feel anything about her, but there was a magic around this woman that left him dumbfounded, entangled in his own lack of understanding.

Every time he came across her, his heart dropped to his stomach, his palms sweated, and he felt an enormous urge to run away. He feared he had been under powerful Genjutsus the first few times, but Izuna confirmed it was simply... love.

After recounting the symptoms over and over again, his younger brother explained that is the exact sensation everyone experiences when meeting someone they like, the body's way of confirming attraction, desire for that person. He refused to believe it at first, but the more the situation was repeated, the more he finally gave in to accepting what he never asked for.

Madara does not have time for affection and love, he does not have the need of a woman in his bed nor does the political context demand an heir, so he tries to fight against the loss of control he feels every time he sees her.

(Y/N), without any effort, manages to make his knees go weak, to make him feel conscious about his appearance, insecure about how he wears his hair or what clothes he chose that morning. He didn't ask for these sensations, he didn't ask for these thoughts, yet the woman managed to infiltrate his heart and ignore all the barriers he raised over the years.

He found himself entangled in her arms, consumed by her kisses, occupying nights he should use to plan war strategies on her, between her legs and caresses, devouring her body and soul. Her presence managed to monopolize his every focus of attention, growing fear deep within every time he pondered the possibility of losing her.

What would happen if the Senju found out about her? If the enemy manages to get information about the woman the Uchiha Leader loves, the one he intends to share his life with? (Y/N) became an easy target since she entered his world, always unintentionally walking on the edge of danger. Several times she has explained nothing matters to her, that she just wants to be with him, to dedicate her life to loving and protecting him.

Yet, protection is the only thing Madara could think about.

He can't expose her, can't give her away to the enemy, can't abandon her to war and the possibility of being used to get to him. Under these same pretexts, he decided to break her heart into a million pieces the night before his next battle against Hashirama.

With all the regret in the world and feigning a convincing coldness, he asked her to move to the most remote part of the Uchiha compound, never to see her again. All his efforts went into keeping a serious face, the same expression he would use to speak to the council, erasing any trace of affection in his eyes. He had to lie, tell her she was only seen as a method of physical release, a hole to spend the cold nights with, nothing more than an object.

(Y/N) couldn't help her tears, breaking down in front of him, perfectly buying the facade he set out to maintain, not seeing the truth behind his terrible words. From that day on she stayed away, not on his radar, removed from any area Madara was in, fulfilling his wish.

As time passed, he forced himself to concentrate on what really deserved his attention, to fill his days with even more business than was already present, avoid thinking or having free time, thus coping with pain. Months went by, his metaphorical wounds continued to fester, and nothing managed to erase from his mind and memory the wonderful memories (Y/N) planted.

No matter how hard he tried, she was always there whenever he closed his eyes.

Nothing prevented them from meeting again, by chance, outside the compound, and the emotions it brought him were uncontrollable. Seeing her back, after so much time and events in between, sunk in the pressure of winning a seemingly endless war and up to his neck with anger and rage against everything, felt like a blessing.

Without thinking about what happened he clung once more to the light (Y/N) always provided in his life, consuming every last drop of love she had for him. He never managed to put his feelings into words, to explain to her how much he loved her, how much he felt for her, believing only his kisses would be enough to make her understand.

He never said "I love you", but always voiced an "I don't like you" when needing to get away.

His bubble of happiness burst again after he received a letter from Hashirama, pleading for peace between the clans, deeply questioning him by saying, "We don't want our women to get hurt." Not only did he feel anger and helplessness, but also realized the Senju were already aware of (Y/N).

That night of pain and breakups repeated again, Madara retelling once more how he doesn't love her and that she needs to get away from him, internally dying to hug her and beg her to forgive him for everything, to confess the deep love he has for her.

Still, the woman respected his wishes, becoming invisible inside the compound and disappearing from his sight, but this was not enough. Having her inside the Uchiha territory implied a terrible danger, and he had no choice but to throw her out of the place, to demand her to leave if she didn't want to die under his hands.

"Should you not depart, you little nuisance, I'll ensure your new home is hell."

His soul, bleeding from the agony of having to watch her leave again, of having to use harsh words and unreal threats because he knows she wouldn't go otherwise, cracks even more, a constant ache in his chest that makes him feel like he's about to have a heart attack.

He witnessed her gather her things and walk out the front door, abandoning everyone and everything, until she became an indistinguishable stain in the distance.

That hurt, that grief, the suffering of losing her again, was the fuel he needed to face the Senju for the last time, fed up with having to sacrifice everything good in his life for a cause that didn't even belong to him.

The founder of the clan had reason to stand up to them, but the generations that followed him did not. Madara is ready to make a change in history, to stop the senseless killings, the baseless violence.

Before the usual confrontation begins, the two most important hands in the world came together in a peace agreement, a future project to improve the lives of the two families. Of course it was difficult, but no Uchiha ever perished in battle again, no Senju shed their blood in the face of the enemy, and all found a common ground of agreement and understanding to live together peacefully.

The village was formed, populating quickly with people from all over, and among all the administrative and agreement problems, Madara failed to notice the presence of the person he cares most about in the world.

He bumps into her one day, unexpectedly, as he walks by with hands full of papers for Hashirama to review and projects proposed by the people, motions to be dealt with. His head is so tangled in political affairs and formalities he fails to notice when he collides with her head-on.

The reunion is both terrible and wonderful, past wounds opening and buried loves resurrecting, everything he forced himself to forget, all the feelings he had to deny to survive and protect her, exploding inside him like the time bomb it always was.

"You can't kick me out of the village, you're not the leader here." Is all she says before running off in the opposite direction, countenance full of anger and resentment, without any interest in talking to him or entertaining him with formal pleasantries.

Madara does not react in time to stop her, to explain, to rectify all the damage he did to her, yet when he finds himself sitting at his office in the Hokage's tower, he reviews all the village documents, discovering where (Y/N) lives.

That same night he goes to her door and knocks on the wood with a timid, reluctant hand, actions uncharacteristic of the Uchiha leader. He is greeted by a thoroughly pissed-off woman, nearly slamming the door in his face, but Madara is quick enough to put a foot in the middle and beg for permission to explain himself.

"Why should I let you in? After everything you said to me? Everything you did..."

"I... I was trying to protect you, guard you from them, I-"

"Protect me? It was you I needed protection from. You said way too many horrible things for them all to have been lies."

"I didn't mean anything I said, (Y/N), none of it was true, I had to get you out of the fire line-"

"Fire line, you say? You kicked me out of the safest territory I could be in, without any assistance, where the "enemy" could find me. In fact, they did, and fucking Senju Hashirama saved me from starving to death!"

At the statement, Madara can only stare at her dumbfounded, oblivious to all these details, not knowing what became of her once she disappeared. Sure, both territories were close during the time of war, but he hoped she would avoid the place she knew as hostile.

"You destroyed the life I knew just because of what was internally happening to you. If you wanted to protect me so badly, if you truly wanted to shelter me from danger, you would never have broken my heart like that, never have given me away as you did to a cruel and uncertain fate."

Madara can only cast his eyes down, grieved, even more dismayed by the situation and the result of everything he himself caused, indignant with his own actions and the terrible way he handled everything.

"I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my business, and let me live, finally in peace." She slams the door in his face, the Uchiha powerless to keep strength in his leg and stop it from happening, defeated and desolate, furious, hurt, all at the same time. His enemy saved his woman's life, the very one he threw away by trying to take care of, and now he must deal with it.

[luaspersona]

hey y’all, how have you been?

i know it’s been a while, and i know i promised a fic that was supposed to be posted earlier this month and that it’s been some time since i dropped a review. but a lot of stuff happened and i realized that i needed some time off. during that time, i reflected a lot and considered not returning, maybe only posting the seoul town road story and going offline for good. eventually tho, i understood how much i missed reading and how much i couldn’t really stop coming up with ideas and outlining some stories — i like this and for the most part, it makes me really happy.

but i wanted to talk a bit about the stuff that made me second-thought coming back. i wanted to be open about stuff that’s depressing and demotivating in this community, especially because i’ll change a lot of things about how i interact here.

this will be a long text, but it’s really important if you follow me. i wanna make it clear tho, before anything, that i’m speaking for myself here, and myself only.

⇢ the first thing i wanna say is that i’ll be generally less active. i used to think that in order to become a popular blog or whatever i had to be chronically online, posting all the time and all. after giving it some thought, i can't really tell if that's true or not, but the thing is: i don’t have the mental health for it. so i won't push myself. but also, if you write something and want me to read it, please send it to me! shamelessly and guiltlessly promote your work! i probably won’t see it on the feed, but i’m always open for recommendations, i just don't have the time to look for it anymore.

⇢ i’ll also go through my followers and block anyone who doesn’t have their age displayed or looks like a bot. no questions asked. this isn’t a blog for minors, and i wanna protect myself. understand how tumblr works if y’all wanna be here.

⇢ i will finish and post seoul town road soon. please be patient. 

⇢ lately, i’ve seen a lot of wonderful writers deactivate due to lack of interaction and support. i understand we’re here working, writing and sharing for free because we *chose to*, but it's hard to speak to the void. so please, don’t let this become a place where authors are talking to themselves while feeling unsafe due to plagiarism or hate. i understand the reasons why someone might be a silent reader, but... just don't make the authors you like feel alone, y'all (i can write some tips and general guides for reviewing and interacting with writing blogs if y’all are interested).

⇢ ok, so… i thought a lot about whether or not to talk about it. it was already super messy, even if i wasn’t online at the time and didn’t see it happening (i'm sorry if this is just repetition, and i bet y'all are sick of it). but ultimately, the main reason why i hesitated to come back was because of what happened to M, so i kinda need to vent about that.

M was one of the oldest blogs here, always open to chat and interact and doing god's work for our horny and sentimental souls (shape of your body is actually one of my favorite stories ever and made me realize a bunch of stuff about myself to the point where i quoted some of it to my therapist at the time), and y’all came for them in such a nasty, violent way, misgendering and attacking a person that, upon first being called out for writing something insensitive, was immediately open to discussion and hearing what y’all had to say (regardless if it really was insensitive or not, the discussion was more than welcomed by them).

what shocks me the most, is that y’all are supposedly from a fandom of a bunch of dudes who once wrote problematic stuff, but educated themselves after accepting criticism and changed. if y’all understand that our oppressions are systematic, y’all have to understand that everyone has stuff to learn and stuff to let go. i say that as a black woman, who once used to perpetrate racist shit because that was how i was raised and taught. i say that as a bi woman, who once used to perpetrate biphobic and queerphobic rhetoric because that was how i was raised and taught. i say that as a human being, who once used (and probably still do to some capacity) to perpetrate prejudice and problematic behavior because that was how i was raised and taught.

this is not to say we should forgive and forget whenever someone says stuff that’s wrong or suspicious, but sometimes people really don’t understand that what they’ve said is offensive or from a place of unfamiliarity (not sure if that's a real word), and if we gave the boys the benefit of the doubt and still supported them (and are now being rewarded with their care and attention) why can’t we do the same for ourselves? not to mention how transphobic most of y’all were, all while calling someone out for doing something you deemed problematic, like ??? fuck y’all tbh. seeing how they were treated, and learning about the tea blog made me physically sick. someone who has always been such a light in this community being dragged from one (debatable) mistake — which they acknowledged and apologized for — made me depressed af.

it all made this look like stan twitter, where every interaction feels like an attempt to expose someone and draw hate towards them. this makes me feel unsafe as hell. and i don’t know… this whole environment is not as it used to be. there were a bunch of nice projects i wanted to share, i was working on jade’s profile for a nice little thing i wanted to do to support the writing community, i was working on monthly recs, but… idk. i’m not saying i won’t do them, just saying it might take longer for me to feel comfortable here again.

⇢ i know i'm no one. i'm a little blog from the corner of our community, and i barely have enough followers for all of this to mean anything. but this is still my blog, and it's still a place that was supposed to feel good. and i want to have some control over it, even if no one cares necessarily.

anyway. i’m depressed, and i’m saying stuff i might regret, but. yeah. that’s it ig. i'll return slowly and i missed y'all, especially on discord, and i'm sorry for vanishing. i'll also be rb this for the next days to make sure that i reaches everyone i want it to reach.

[you-would-turn-it-off-halfway]

A few days ago I was thinking about writing about this topic, but I didn't know whether to do it, because it is a topic that is not normally talked about on a Tumblr blog...

But then I realized that it had a lot to do with one of the main themes of this blog: Relationships.

Death

It is one of the most painful things that can happen to us, and unfortunately, it has happened to me.

I have lost the person I have hated the most in my life, the person who has hurt me the most in my life...

And yes, I have cried and suffered for his death... More than you can imagine.

Right at that moment, when I found out, I felt empty. As if I had just lost a friend, a brother... Someone I loved...

But the point is that the person was none of those things... She was someone I have always hated, and deep down I still hate.

When my family found out and looked at me, about to burst into tears, they told me:

"Why are you like this? You knew her, you know she deserved it"

At that moment without saying anything, I just left, I knew whether I will explain it to them or not, they wouldn't understand.

I don't even understand it

I'm sorry for bothering you, but I needed to vent and talk about this.

[rochelle-echidna]

@micheladee tagged me in the "post a couple paragraphs of your WIP" share-a-thon, so figured I'd go through my Word docs and see what I could find - thank you so much for the tag, Michela :)

Truth be told, if y'all will allow me to vent a bit first... it's been a bit of a shitter these last couple years, especially wrt getting any sort of writing done. Never mind with fics (of which I feel awful I've barely started anything new, even the WIP below is from last year) - but I've also been trying to finally write a novel of my own after realising I really, really want to... and the words just aren't coming. Whether it's because of fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of financial stresses, fear of whatever... it's been really fucking rough since my spouse and I moved cross-country, and I've def been feeling ashamed at my lack of creative output :(

On the bright side, I'm getting some help with therapy and I'm doing a couple workshops to get me back into the swing of being creative so that I can tackle the work-life balance and not feel like the entirety of my (and my spouse's) survival rests squarely on my shoulders. Whether that means I'll be able to post any new work soon is up for debate, but honestly just taking these baby steps is better than nothing, so I'll take what I can get (and my body + mind can give).

And I know there's no "admission fee" to partake in fandom, but I still feel I'd be remiss if I didn't offer a huge apology for not positing fics recently, and especially for not commenting on fics y'all have made in these last several months - please believe me when I say I see y'all's work and it's great and makes me feel so many necessary things, even if I'm not able to type the words on AO3 atm.

Anyhow, just wanted to share an update with y'all and let you know I'm still here, still alive... just taking it one day at a time for now in order to keep my sanity strong!

Enjoy this little snippet of a WIP below, and I tag whoever so chooses to participate in this game - even if I'm quiet, I love seeing everything you lovely people write :D

When he was thrust back to reality in his own body, there was the usual disorientation that was to be expected of someone summoned through the dark arts. After all, if the infamous Thief King from 3,000 years ago had existed as a separate being before, there was no reason Malik’s other half couldn’t, too. Except… Ryou Bakura hadn’t exactly planned for this extra passenger to crawl his way back from the shadows alongside the former spirit. And what “Malik’s other half” – the phrase enough to make said individual gag – definitely hadn’t expected was for such confusion to be tainted by a profound sadness… one that had permeated his entire being for the last six months. Or however long it had been. Malik had gotten what he’d wanted, Ryou had gotten what he wanted, the Thief King had kind of gotten what he wanted – and all that “Malik’s other half” had gotten was a sense of displacement, dysmorphia and disdain. “You know… he’s welcome to stay here, Malik.” “You weren’t conscious during that damned duel fifteen years ago, host. Just be glad you weren’t privy to his cruelty firsthand.” “He’s right, Ryou. You’ve done enough already. There’s no need to put yourself in more danger.” “But there’s not much harm he can do now. I mean—" “I can hear you all.” Three pairs of eyes had greeted him when he’d first turned over on a – soft – bed. His hands had been bound, and he’d growled and snarled so much that he’d made Malik and the Thief King back up – but not the white-haired man in-between them. “You probably have lots of questions right now. And…” The blush that formed on the man’s cheeks had sent a – strange – shiver down his spine, warming his bound wrists. “I’m sorry I don’t have many answers.” He had merely hmphed at that, avoiding eye contact with his “main personality” and the thief who’d dared face him. Instead, he focused on the wide eyes of the man who must have been called— “Ryou… it’s no use. We need to send him back before he does some real damage again.” “Snap out of it, landlord. Just look at how he’s staring at you.” But the man – Ryou – had just tilted his head and let loose a very small smile. “What’s your name?”

[stormyoceans]

Was it exactly the same writing team that did the first 9 episodes? what prevented them from separating the two of them, but for them to keep in touch with each other by sharing their successes via video link? it would be much better and the trope of love at a distance is much better than the trope of let's break up, because this is the laziest explanation for the whole mess. only "be my favorite" avoided this shitty twist. no, this trope really needs to be excluded from the plots of all lacorns of 11 episodes if the creators are not sure how to make a drama out of the blue, or if they are not sure that it will not look cheap on the screen. God, this is such bullshit. It's been so long, but I'm still angry about this twist. it wasn't the sudden epiphany that bothered me (okay, hope, and all that, I get it, okay), but fucking this cheap and completely unnecessary move… I'm shutting up, I'm sorry, Monica.

https://x.com/Itsjuzm3/status/1836848070639640725

ON GOD IM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THE UNIVERSE NEEDS TO SEND ME BACK IN TIME AND TELEPORT ME INTO THAT WRITERS ROOM SO I CAN HOLD EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THERE AT GUNPOINT LIKE YEAH A CHOICE HAD TO BE MADE AND Y'ALL CHOSE THE WORST FUCKING OPTION ✋😭

and please don't apologize anon, my inbox is always open if any of you needs a space to vent, either about life or a show, and when it comes to last twilight i feel the exact same way as you, so really, don't worry about it. i honestly admire the people who like the last two episodes of last twilight, because god knows i've tried but i just cannot make my peace with them, and this interview only proved that i have to accept the fact that unfortunately it will never happen. it's not even about day regaining his sight, because not only i feel like i cannot judge on that matter as someone who doesn't have a disability, but either way they would have made morkday break up and not even contact each other for years, and that's what my main problem is, both narrative and character-wise

'and with that choice, one character inevitably ends up feeling heartbroken' <- like this line is the ultimate proof that i simply cannot see things the same as them, because to me there never were only two choices – either morkday breaking up and not seeing each other for years, or staying together and having day feeling like he was being pitied and keeping mork from having his own life - but there always was a secret third option that would have made much more sense with the development of the characters: have them part but be together, have them build their own life but still have each other be part of it

also that last part about day's mom upsets me so much because they keep saying that day didn't want to be pitied but god fucking forbid they gave us a moment where he turned around to his mom and told her 'i do not need p'mork or anyone else to take care of me i can take care of myself'. and really, they needed years for day and his mom to have that conversation about love?????? wouldn't have made much more sense to have it even just a couple of days after the break-up??????

idk i really just could go on for days talking about why this part in particular doesn't make sense to me and actively made me dislike the ending, but i feel like i've already been way too negative so im gonna stop here

just know i feel the same anon and that im sending you all the hugs!!!!!!!!