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noosayog · 3 months

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003 an unexpectedly sweet valentine

❥ warnings/content: kuroo tetsuro x reader, sfw, slight angst if you squint, mostly fluff, jealousy

❥ wc: 3.4k

❥ valentine's masterlist, regular masterlist

“Good morning, senpai!”

Your senior of one year turns around as he changes from his outside shoes to his inside shoes. “Huh? Oh, morning.”

“It’s raining hard today, huh?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure is.”

“Did you bring an umbrella?”

“Nah, forgot it.”

“Aw, too bad! I remembered mine today!”

“Good for you.”

The conversation comes to a lull. Senpai stands there looking at you, as if to ask, anything else?

Somewhat awkward, you wave to him. “Have a good day, then!”

He nods, turning away to make his way to his first class of the day.

“Wowwww,” a voice from above you drawls. “That was a painful watch.”

You swivel around to face Kuroo, your classmate.

“Shut up, Kuroo,” you growl at him.

“‘Morning Senpai! Have a good day Senpai!’” He mocks you in a high pitched voice.

You give him a swift kick in the shins, satisfied when he bends over to cradle the spot.

Kenma appears from behind him, shaking off the stray droplets clinging to his hair. “You deserved that.”

“Morning, Kenma,” you snicker.

Kenma returns your greeting, heading off to his own class in the year below yours and Kuroo’s.

A tap on your shoulder gets your attention. “Sorry about him. He’s just in a bad mood because of the rain.”

“Kai-kun!” you greet. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for this idiot.”

“Hey!” the idiot in question protests.

Another head pops out from behind Kai. “What’s going on? Talking rooster head trash? That’s a conversation I can contribute to.”

“Morning, Yakkun.”

“Can we not talk about me like I’m not here?” Kuroo complains.

“Shall we head to class?” Kai asks, easily ignoring him.

“Yep!”

“Hello? We’re all in the same class here!” Kuroo wails as he runs after the three of you.

In your homeroom, Kuroo, Yaku, and Kai all head to their seats as you take yours by the window. You greet your friends who sit by you, excited to ramble about your encounter with the cool Senpai from the basketball team whom you’ve recently developed a crush on.

“What do you like about that guy anyway?” your friend asks.

“What do you mean? There’s so much to like!”

She gives you a dubious look. “For example…?”

You start counting on your fingers. “Well, he’s captain of the basketball team, so he’s tall-”

“You like him because he’s tall?”

“He’s older, so he’s more mature-”

“Right,” she nods sarcastically. “Being a year older makes him so mature.”

With two fingers up, you’ve run out of reasons. Your friend rolls her eyes at you.

“Personally, I prefer the volleyball guys in our class.”

“Kai-kun?” you nod empathetically. “I can totally see that. He’s kind and smart. Yakkun, too. He’s energetic and outgoing.”

“Kuroo’s included in that group too, you know.”

You wrinkle your nose.

“What’s your beef with him? He’s tall, smart. Lots of people in our grade would say he’s funny too. He’s actually pretty popular.”

You shake your head, “the most that guy has going for him is his friendship to Kenma. I can totally see someone getting close to him so that he’ll introduce them.”

Your friend just shrugs patronizingly, like you’re beyond reasoning with.

“Anyway,” you switch topics. “Senpai forgot his umbrella today, and it’s going to rain all day. I’m going to watch basketball practice afterschool and offer to share my umbrella with Senpai on the way home. Wanna come with?”

“Pass.”

You shrug. “Suit yourself.”

–

“Did you hear that?” Yaku elbows Kuroo, whispering not very quietly.

Kuroo swipes at the elbow, rubbing his ribs and mumbling for Yaku to keep it down.

“Damn, what’d you do? She thinks you’re such a loser.”

“Gee, thanks,” Kuroo grits out.

Yaku holds his hands up in surrender. “Just pointing out the facts.”

“Hey, now. Let’s not be too hasty,” Kai cuts in. “It might just be a temporary infatuation with the basketball club guy. There’s still hope!”

Kuroo groans and slumps forehead first onto his desk. Even when Kai is trying to be nice, it makes him feel so pathetic.

–

When the final class of the day ends, Kuroo lingers in the classroom, still racking his brain for an excuse to keep you from going to the basketball club. He trails after you as you get up to leave the classroom.

You’re taking a drink of water when Kuroo watches your friend shoulder into you a bit too hard, leaving you to stumble backwards, hands flailing to keep your balance. The uncapped water bottle in your hands goes flying into Kuroo, dumping its contents into the bag in his hands, containing the spare jerseys the volleyball team had planned on using for practice matches today.

Kuroo drops the bag, arms coming up to support your back and keep you upright.

When you’re stable on your feet, you quickly pick up your water bottle to staunch the flow of water, though it doesn’t matter much anymore given the jerseys are all soaked through.

“Hey! What did you do that for?” you scold your friend. You turn to Kuroo, “thanks and sorry…” you trail off, not knowing how to remedy the situation.

When Kuroo catches the wink your friend sends him, he catches on. “Aww man, now what’re we going to do for practice?”

Yaku cuts in. “Oh, it’s fine. We can just use the spare-”

Kai slaps a hand over Yaku’s big mouth, dragging him off towards the gym. “We’ll head to practice first. Why don’t you figure out the situation, Kuroo?”

“Kuroo, I’m so sorry, but this was all her fault. Hey-” You turn to where your friend was standing, but she’s gone.

“We needed these for today’s practice. You’re just gonna have to help me out with the laundry to get these dried before the 3v3 drills then.”

You pull a very displeased expression, mumbling something Kuroo can’t quite hear but is definitely a curse out of your friend.

“Can’t I please make it up to you some other way? I have really important plans today.”

Sure, as if trying to suck up to that basketball captain counts as really important plans.

“All you have to do is toss these in the dryer and wait until they’re done. It’s the least you can do.”

You offer a begrudging, “fine,” hauling the wet bag and following behind a triumphant Kuroo.

As promised, it takes you less than an hour to dry the jerseys, passing the time by watching the volleyball club boys warm up and run drills. As you pull the jerseys out of the machine, Kuroo meets you by the locker room.

“All done! Now can I-”

“Man, it took too long to dry them. We had to restructure our drills since it’s too late to start practice matches now.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Look, Kuroo. I’m sorry, but I have no say over how long a dryer cycle is.”

“I know. It just really put us in a hard spot, especially given that Nationals are around the corner…” he sighs audibly. “But it’s fine, I know it’s not totally your fault.” He sighs again.

“Ok, ok” you give in. “What can I do to make up for it?”

It takes all of Kuroo’s willpower to suppress a victorious grin. “Hmmm,” he pretends to deliberate. “Aha!” he exclaims. “You could be our manager until Nationals are over. That’d help the team and Coach Nekomata out a lot.”

You hesitate. “Manager? Why don’t you just find a permanent one? Everyone says you’re all popular-”

“Everyone?” he smirks.

“Yeah. Personally, I don’t really get it, but,” you miss the slight dimming of his grin. “I’m sure there’s someone out there who’d be more willing… I mean, more helpful than I would be.”

“Figures that you’d try to weasel your way out of this.”

“Weasel my way- wait just a second-”

“It’s fine,” Kuroo cuts you off, turning around to leave you there. “You’re right, we’ll just find someone who’s more responsible.”

“Hold on, Kuroo!” you grab the back of his jacket, pulling him back.

This time, the grin on Kuroo’s face spreads in full force.

“I’ll do it. I am not irresponsible.”

“Great, you can start tomorrow.”

You cross your arms over your chest, huffing indignantly like you’re satisfied that you’ve restored your reputation, your plans to be alone with basketball-senpai completely forgotten.

Hook, line, sinker.

–

Your job as the volleyball club manager is actually enjoyable. Save for the extended time you now need to spend in Kuroo’s company, you make friends with the rest of the team, especially the enthusiastic younger class.

During lunch time, Kuroo will often request that you join Kai, Yaku, and him on the roof.

“Why? I deserve freedom from you outside of volleyball club hours.”

“Interesting that your commitment to taking the position of manager only extends to certain hours.”

“What? Slander! I’m committed-”

“We were going to discuss and review our plays from previous games, but I guess we’ll manage without you. Just hand me the notebook and we’ll review without you-”

You stand abruptly, slamming your palms on your desk. With the notebook in question in hand, you storm past him, making your way to the roof access stairs without another word.

“Well?” you demand when Kuroo doesn’t follow. “Are we going or what?”

Kuroo grins. “Coming.”

In your indignation, you fail to ever catch the grins from Yaku, Kai, and your friends.

Sometimes, those lunches end up being just you and Kuroo, Yaku and Kai often being called away halfway through. Once all volleyball business is complete, you and Kuroo finish eating in relative peace. Often, he lies down to spend the rest of break napping. You tell yourself it’s too awkward to leave him there without a word, so you sit quietly to keep him company.

One time, you had awoken to a sound of a camera shutter, realizing belatedly that you had fallen asleep on Kuroo’s shoulder. When you crane your head to face the boy in question, eyes wide and swiping at your lip in case you were drooling, you’re met with the usual smug grin on his lips, but his eyes are warm. Instead of smacking him and throwing a scatching remark, your cheeks heat up and you avert your eyes like an embarrassed schoolgirl.

–

When February rolls around, the entire student body is buzzing with the excitement of Valentine’s Day. You haven’t had any more development with basketball senpai, with your time mostly preoccupied with volleyball, but you’ve long standing plans to make Senpai chocolate. You’ve done research by asking around to find out that Senpai likes dark chocolate.

“Have you thought about making the volleyball boys chocolate?” Mari asks you.

“Yep, I plan to.”

“And Kuroo?”

You choke on your water. “Why would you single him out? Of course… because he’s a part of the volleyball boys…” you trail off.

Your friend props her chin on her palm, expression bored but the corner of her lips twitch. “Uh huh,” she says in obvious disbelief.

Your inner turmoil is exacerbated when Kenma says to you, the day before Valentines, “despite his looks, he likes sweeter chocolate.”

“Who?”

Kenma just gives you a look, waving as he makes his way home.

The following day, you show up to school, hands full with all the chocolates you made the night before. Each bag is wrapped in an individual baggie with a white ribbon except for one that is wrapped special, in a small box with red ribbon.

For Senpai, obviously.

Your first stop of the day is your friend. You hand her a bag and she smiles, quickly opening it and popping it in her mouth right in front of you.

“What do you think?” you ask.

“Mmmm,” she closes her eyes, savoring the sweet treat. “So sweet. Milk chocolate? Weren’t you going on about how Senpai likes dark chocolate?”

“I… made different batches.” you lie. You brandish the box with the red ribbon. “Senpai’s was made special.”

“Still sticking to giving that boring Senpai chocolate, huh?”

“He is not boring!”

“Sure, whatever.” She peeks into your bag to look at the array of all the baggies you plan on giving out today. She looks up at the red ribbon box in your hands then back into your bag. “Just that one box? And it’s for Senpai?”

“... yup.”

“What was that pause?”

“What pause?”

She just rolls her eyes and turns back to her textbook.

–

“Did you hear that? It’s for the basketball guy.” Yaku elbows Kuroo’s ribs.

“Can you stop elbowing me?”

“That’s not important right now! She’s still going to give that guy chocolate!”

“I know, I heard,” Kuroo hisses.

Kai gives Kuroo a pitiful look that ticks him off. “What are you going to do?”

“What is there to do?” Kuroo replies, keeping his eyes focused on the homework he has on his desk. “I’m going to grab a drink from the vending machines. Be right back.”

He gets up to walk to the furthest vending machine in the courtyard. Maybe the walk and the winter air from the garden will help him cool his head.

When he gets back with a can of tea in his hands, Kuroo sees you standing at his desk, where Kai and Yaku are still loitering around before class starts. He watches you hand each of them a bag tied tastefully with white ribbon. He lingers in the shadow of the doorway, watching Yaku and Kai thank you, then you walking back to your desk without leaving a third bag for Kuroo.

He feels like he could use another walk right then, but the teacher catches him in the doorway and pushes Kuroo into the classroom to start class for the day.

He makes eye contact with Kai and Yaku, who shake their heads at him, answering his unasked question.

–

At lunch, Kuroo disappears on his own. He thinks to himself that he just needs the time to cool down, in fear that he’d embarrass himself in front of you by asking where his portion of chocolate is. He would feel bad enough if you just handed him giri-chocolate that you have everyone else. He would die, though, if you said you didn’t prepare him any at all.

As he sits alone in the rarely frequented stairwell of the west wing of campus, he sighs.

What does that guy have that he doesn’t anyway? Every conversation Kuroo has overheard between you two has been terribly boring. He gives dry, one-worded answers. He’s not funny nor particularly smart. He’s tall but so is Kuroo? Maybe he’s good at his sport, but Kuroo is taking his team to Nationals. He’s obviously not into you, whereas Kuroo himself? You get the picture.

Anyway, he doesn’t think it very presumptuous to think of himself as a better match for you. The two of you joke and laugh together. You get along with his closest friends. Despite your sharp tongue, you seem to be comfortable enough around him. He reminisces of the one time you fell asleep on his shoulder on the roof. He had been wide awake and frozen solid, scared that even breathing too loudly would shatter the moment. He would never tell anyone that the photo Yaku had snapped of you drooling against his shoulder was saved in a password-protected folder in his phone.

He sighs again, all the tension leaving his body as he lets himself feel all the feelings he’s been holding back. A heavy arm rests over his eyes, squeezing them tightly when he feels the sting behind his irises threatening to surface.

Unable to pull himself together enough to face you in class, he ends up at the infirmary for the rest of the day, citing a headache. The nurse offers one of the beds and Kuroo gladly takes it, napping the afternoon away, a temporary escape from thoughts of you.

The break is short-lived as he wakes up just in time for the last class of the day. Not even the prospect of his favorite subject, science, can improve his mood as he drags his feet to the lab classroom. He makes his way to Yaku and Kai’s table, not meeting your eyes. His teammates give him questioning looks but say nothing when Kuroo shakes his head and immerses himself in the lesson for the day.

Class goes by even more quickly than normal and before he knows it, the dreaded time of day has arrived. He packs slowly, hating himself for wanting to eavesdrop on your plans for the rest of the afternoon.

“So, what’s the plan?” he hears your friend ask you. “Volleyball or basketball?”

“Not sure,” you reply. “Gotta go, see you tomorrow!”

Kuroo watches as you hastily grab your things and leave the classroom. He ignores your friend’s prying eyes on him as he walks out after you.

In the hallway, he spots you speeding away towards the shoe lockers. As he contemplates chasing after you, he hears a call of your name.

Kuroo watches in mild horror when he finds that the voice belonged to the captain of the basketball team. His eyes stay glued to the boy who approaches you, all charming smiles and grinning snake eyes. The two of you are too far for Kuroo to hear your conversation but he can see your expression morphing into one of bashfulness.

All his emotions spill over as the scene unfolds right in front of him in slow motion. He watches your hands dig into your pocket, making the motions to pull something out and likely hand it to your senpai. It all happens so quickly, but before he knows it, Kuroo’s grabbing your hand and dragging you away.

Something - wind? His boiling hot jealousy? - roars in his ears, any protests you let out going right over his head. It’s only when the two of you reach the garden behind the gymnasium that he lets go.

He freezes, back still turned away from yours.

It hits him then. He drops your hand like a hot potato, almost giving into the overwhelming urge to bury his face in his hands, crouch down so low that he’s buried in the ground.

“Kuroo?” he hears you call tentatively.

How was he going to get himself out of this one?

So he does what he does best with you.

Cower.

He turns around, putting two hands behind his head to feign nonchalance. He forces out a laugh and in the lightest voice he could possibly muster at a time like this, he sticks his foot in this mouth.

“You were gonna give your chocolates to that senpai, huh? You better be glad I interrupted and saved you the embarrassment of getting rejected in front of the entire student body.”

You blink at him. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, I really saved that guy back there. Knowing your cooking skills, you might as well have poisoned him-”

A box thrown at his face interrupts him. He catches it before the fall to the ground, staring at the offending hand that launched the item. He then looks to you, thoughtless as your eyes begin to water.

“They’re for you, asshole. If you don’t want ‘em so badly, go throw them away for all I care.”

As you turn around and storm off, Kuroo sees one of your hands coming up to rub angrily at your face.

He gives chase once more today. It’s easy to catch up as he gets in front of you, face craning to look at you, to validate that he’s not going crazy and you’re really crying over him.

You turn away stubbornly until Kuroo grabs your arms, holding them up in the air to trap you.

“Let go!” you thrash.

But it’s easy for Kuroo to keep them still, unusually quiet as he looks and looks until he gets his fill and confirms that he’s not dreaming.

“They’re for me?” he asks.

“Yes, you idiot. Do you wanna add deaf to your list of defining characteristics? It can be right up there with moronic, insensitive, stupid-”

He chuckles; he doesn't even know where it came from, really.

Relaxing, he lowers your arms back down but keeps his hold. “And are they the ones you made for all your friends? Or are they…” he trails off, staring into your eyes to get his meaning across.

You cringe, neck shrinking to retract your face into your scarf. Averting your eyes, you mutter, “the second one.”

He suddenly engulfs you in his arms. The squeeze he gives you forces a little squeal from you.

“Oh my god,” he rubs his cheek against the top of your head like an overgrown cat. “You’re so cute, I could die.”

Your cheeks feel hot as you repress the urge to smile.

Instead, you mumble, “die then.”

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newtthetranswriter · 11 months

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Dayquil, Curses, and Soulmates

Paring: Toge inumaki x gn! reader

Summary: In a world where soulmates are real, you get a bond that is quite annoying per say, you feel each other's pain, and your soulmate happens to be the one guy in the world that has a lifetime supply of throat medicine.

Word count: 1698

Warnings: talk of explosion, talk of medicine, talk of pain, putting these just in case cause you never know

A/n: thought this was a fun idea, let me know how you like it, and big thanks to @just-jordie-things for the bit about bumping into each other buying cough medicine. Also if you catch my reference you get a cookie. please ignore any typos, i might come back and fix it later. If I mention school I mean college. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

For as long as i could remember i have always got random pain in my throat. I couldn’t explain it but I would describe it as if I swallowed sandpaper. When I was younger it used to happen all of the time. One moment I was fine and being a happy kid and the next I was coughing like I hadn't had water in days. Around the age of five though my parents took me to the doctor to see if they could figure it out. Turns out that out of all the soulmate connections I could have, I’m stuck sharing pain with my soulmate. I couldn’t help but wonder what my soulmate was doing at such a young age to cause such pain so often.

At around the age of ten or so it stopped happening as often, but when it happened it sucked. I got used to always carrying around a bottle of cough medicine for when it happened so I could at least talk with less pain. I still have no clue as to what my soulmate does to give us such terrible sore throats but I'm at least glad they slowed down a bit.

Today was a normal Saturday which means going out to check the shops for any cool trinkets I might want and get some snacks. Even though I was going out to get fun things, my first stop was the corner store to pick up some more cough medicine as I ran out last week and forgot to get more.

I swear when I meet my soulmate they are paying me back for all this cough medicine I have to buy. I thought to myself as I entered the store I have been a regular at for the past two years since starting school. I waved at the shop keeper as I walked off to the medicine aisle to grab my usual travel bottle of cough syrup and an extra just in case. As I reached for the medicine my hand bumped into someone else who seemed to be reaching for the same thing as me.

“Oh, I’m sorry you were here first; you can go ahead.” I said looking up at the stranger. Looking at them I would guess that they were a boy about my age with fluffy white hair and beautiful purple eyes. I also noticed he was wearing a school uniform with what looked like an extra-long collar covering the lower half of his face. Even though I was confused by it, I tried not to stare at the handsome stranger in front of me.

He looked almost shocked when I spoke to him. He gave me a small nod, grabbed the medicine and walked away. I couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t said anything but brushed it off as him being shy. After he reached the register, I finally snapped out of my trance and grabbed my own bottles of cough medicine and headed to the front.

“Hey, there Y/n. Soulmate causing trouble again?” asked Ukai, the owner of the small business who is used to me coming in every couple week.

“Yeah, I wonder what they keep doing to cause this cause it's so annoying not being able to talk for an hour because of the pain.” I responded not noticing the stranger from earlier freezing up for a second before leaving the store.

“Well kiddo, I hope you find them soon so you get some answers.” He responded as he handed me my bag. “Have a good day and good luck with the soulmate.”

After waving goodbye to the man behind the counter who was always kind to me I made my way towards the shops for the day. I was ready to just enjoy my time alone with my thoughts, mostly plotting revenge on my soulmate for this pain, but also just enjoying the fresh air.

After a few hours I noticed it starting to get dark and decided it was probably best to head home before my parents get concerned. I also don’t really enjoy being out when it gets dark. I don't know how to explain it but other than the annoying soulmate connection, ever since I was kid I could see these weird creatures. As I got older I started ignoring them but whenever I go out at night it seems like there's a lot more, and they give me the creeps.

As I was passing an alleyway I heard rustling and paused to look and see if it was an animal or something, boy was I wrong. As I looked down the alleyway towards the sound one of the creatures, that I feel like only I can see, lunged towards me. Long dark claws stretched out towards me, right as it was about to sink its claws into my arm I heard what sounded like someone running up from the side, and a voice yelling to move. I’m not sure what came over me, it was like my feet had a mind of their own and I jumped out of the way.

“EXPLODE” was the next thing I heard the voice say before the creature did just that. It exploded in a large cloud of smoke. Almost immediately after that thing exploded, I was thrown into my own terrible coughing fits, but what was even weirder was I could make out the sound of someone else coughing as well. I reached for the cough medicine I bought earlier and drank half of the first bottle, as large amounts were the only thing that helped.

“What the hell was that?” I rasped out as best I could waiting for the medicine to start working. The person who had saved me looked up at me with a look of shock on his face. It was at that moment I recognized that it was the same guy from earlier. I could tell it was him from his white hair and uniform jacket that now had the collar unzipped, with the collar no longer hiding the lower half of his face. I could make out what looked like strange tattoos on either side of his mouth.

I probably also had a look of shock on my face as I pieced everything together. One this guy could see the weird creatures as well, two he somehow made me move and that thing explode with just words. Last and most important, this guy is my soulmate, it just makes sense it can’t be a coincidence that my soulmate would get a throat pain right as this guy saves me, causing his own coughing fit. I was sure of it and judging by the look on his face he figured it out as well.

I waited for a moment as I watched him scramble for something in his pocket, and he let out a sound of triumph as he pulled out his phone and walked closer to me while typing out a message. He motioned for me to look at the screen. Sorry for making you spend so much on cough medicine, It's part of my job kinda. I looked at him slightly confused as he started typing again.

“Why do you keep typing, why not voice what's up instead?” I asked, not understanding fully why this guy who just made something explode with his voice is now refusing to talk. I watched as he shook his head at me and pointed to his phone again. My throat is still messed up, but I also can’t talk like you do. I could explain more over dinner tomorrow if that's ok with you? He asked me using his phone's note app. I looked at him skeptically for a second, but the agreed and gave him my phone number to text me the details.

“I’m Y/n, by the way, if we’re soulmates I figure we should probably know each other's names” I said as he started typing again. It's nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Toge Inumaki, but you can just call me Toge. After I finished reading the message on his phone I looked up into his kind purple eyes and knew that this was the start of something great. “I can’t wait to go out tomorrow, and also find out whats up with that thing that you blew up.” I said with a chuckle

“Salmon” I heard the boy next to me rasp out, his voice sounding more messed up than mine did when I first spoke a minute ago. I looked at him confused for a second before I felt my phone go off in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a message from an unknown number. Hey, it's me, your soulmate, what I mean by salmon is I can't wait for tomorrow either. I also promise to explain everything, I bet this is all kinda weird :) I read the message and smiled back at him as his face lit up with one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen.

“Well it's getting late, I should be getting home. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye Toge.” I said waving to him as I walked off hearing a small “salmon” and catching him waving before zipping his collar and walking the opposite direction.

I was a few blocks away and almost home when my phone went off again: get homesafe, if you need me text please. Have a goodnight. I smiled at the message and responded with an ok, you too. After the small text exchange I finally made it home, I went up stairs and went to bed happy with how the day went. I may have been almost attacked by a weird creature that most people apparently can’t see, but I finally met my soulmate. I can’t wait to get to know him and maybe find out why i was saying salmon so much but hey that's a problem for tomorrow.

I drifted off to sleep with the thoughts of my soulmate and some slight planning on how to get revenge for the non stop sore throats without causing pain, cause that would be counterproductive.

#toge inumaki x reader #toge inumaki #inumaki x reader #jjk x reader #soulmates #jjk soulmate au #toge inumaki x reader soulmate au #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu toge #jujustsu kaisen x reader

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prettybrownelf · 5 months

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Hi I hope your still taking requests for Brett hand? Could you do a male reader? Where reader is really awkward and new to the team. And Brett starts having a straight guy crisis when he starts falling for reader?

Lunch Date

Non MLM/NBLM DNI

a/n- so sorry this took so long life has been hectic

Pairings - Brett Hand x Male! Reader

Summary- Brett falls for the new guy at work, despite never liking a guy before

Word Count- 1006

Content Warnings- Anxiety, Fluff, Brett Is A Mess

Brett can hear his heart beating in his ears. He rubs the sweat forming on his palms onto his black slacks. The pattern ding! from the clock sends a shock through his body as he tries to keep his eyes on Reagan.

But there was you.

Standing next to Reagan.

He watched as you swayed a bit in your chair, messing with a string on the end of your coat to calm your own nerves. Brett couldn't tear his eyes away from you. It made his head hurt. Not because you're attractive, that's obvious to him, but because you're a guy.

Never once had Brett questioned his sexuality. But here he was, trembling in his chair with a beat red face over a cute guy.

“Brett?” Reagan says. Bretts nearly jumps out of his seat as he looks at her. She lazily points to you, next to her. “Show’em around, please.” Brett nods as he quickly stands up and leads you out of the room. There isn't enough air in the building for Brett right now as he tries to act as normal as possible.

“What's your name?” Brett asks. He tries to ignore how his voice cracks. You, however, don't seem to be as nervous anymore as you look around. “(Y/n).” Brett takes a deep breath in as he turns a corner. “Here's the lab. Reagan is normally here. She also doesn't like when people touch things.” Bretts eyes stay on you as he watches you nod along with him.

Crushing anxiety fills Bretts chest as the two of you walk around the building. “So, what are you into outside of work?” Brett asks. His hands tremble by the side of him as he tries not to stare too hard. You give a small shrug as you talk. “I either sleep or play video games. Mostly sleep and work.”

Brett curses to himself as he tries to keep his voice from trembling. “What kind of games?” Brett almost gags at his stupid ‘cool guy’ voice. His cheeks flare as he hears a small chuckle come from you. “Honestly? Anything that slightly peaks my interest.” Brett gives a shaky smile. A sinking feeling makes its way into Bretts chest.

He quickly looks away once he realizes he's been staring. The rest of the tour is spent with Brett desperately trying to make sure you don't know how nervous he is. He doubts it works.

By the end of the day Brett feels like he's been hit by a bus. His head is spinning and he's getting a migraine.

“You good?” Reagan asks. She has a slightly worried look on her face as she catches Brett before he leaves. Brett gives the best smile he could. “Yeah! Just tired.” Reagan gives a slow nod as she looks Brett up and down. “Uh-huh.” She mumbles.

Brett stands in silence as Reagan sighs. “Ok. What's wrong?” Before Brett can say anything, Reagan interrupts. “I don't care. Just tell me so I can go home and we can deal with it tomorrow.” Brett thinks for a moment as he stares at her. He shifts his weight from foot to foot before he mutters out his words. “I think the new guys cute.”

Reagan’s shoulders drop as she gives a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god! I thought you fucked something up!” Brett feels the air trapped in his chest escape in his own sigh as he opens his car door. “No, I didn't break anything. You always think I broke something.” Reagan sips her coffee as she pats Brett’s shoulder on the way to her own car. “Don't be so weird about it! Everyone has workplace crushes.”

Brett sits in his car for a moment as he thinks to himself. Workplace crushes are normal, he has no reason to be worried! But what if you're not into that? What if he's just confused? Wouldn't he have liked a guy before if he was into guys?

The spinning thoughts become too much for him as he finally pulls into his driveway. Brett can feel his body wanting to crash in of itself as he throws himself on his couch and groans into his cushions.

As the world spins around him, the familiar buzzing of his phone forces him out of his whirling thoughts.

‘hey, it's (y/n)’’

Brett looks at the message for a few seconds before typing with shaky fingers.

‘Hey!’

He feels himself cringe in on himself as he rethinks everything he's ever done in his life up until this moment. The thoughts can't last for long though as another buzz comes quickly.

‘wanna get lunch tomorrow?’

Brett types faster than he ever has in his life

‘Absolutely!’

As Brett texts (Y/n) about getting lunch, he can't help the twisting feeling in his stomach that gets worse with every message. Brett takes a long deep breath once he and (y/n) end the conversation. It's fine, it's just lunch with a co-worker! Don't think so deeply about it!

Despite his best efforts, his anxiety doesn't subside that night, or the following day as he walks to a local restaurant to meet (Y/n).

Brett adjusts his collar as he walks into the building and is immediately greeted by a smiling face.

“Hey!” You smile as the two of you get a table. Brett feels his hands getting sweaty as the two of you order.

“So, why did you want to get lunch?” Brett asks, taking a nervous sip of his water. (Y/n) chuckles softly as a bit of heat travels to his cheeks. “Honestly, I thought you were cute. I wanted to get to know you.”

Brett almost chokes on his water as he quickly looks at you. His voice shakes slightly as he tries his best to play cool. “You think I'm cute?”

(Y/n) laughs with a nod. “Yes, I think you're very cute.” Brett smiles as their food arrives at the table. Brett picks up a fork as he looks back to (Y/n).

“Well, let's get to know each other then.”

#male reader #x male reader #brett hand x male reader #inside job x male reader

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yoongiseesawmp3 · 2 years

Text

amazing grace - psh (m)

part of the church boy series.

summary: you’re spending the summer at home after finishing school and you somehow get dragged into handling the baby nursery at church for the next two months. the only thing sweeter than the babies is your co-worker, park seonghwa.

word count: 10k

warnings: smut! i tried my best to keep language gender neutral but afab!reader and smutty smut smut. some language. little slow burn-y? breeding kink a little bit? sorry. oral (f receiving) and uhhh unprotected sex pls don’t do that! and a lil gagging. lmk if i need to tag anything else. mostly unedited also!

“okay, i know i said i needed a transition job, but this is not what i meant,” you tell your mother, who just explained “the best idea” to you.

basically, she wants you to move back home for the summer and babysit all the kids from your church. some of these kids were made by classmates and friends of yours, and this feels like a slight dig by your mom that you haven’t made any grand-babies yet. she said the pay was decent, and the job is yours if you’re willing to live back at home for a month or two while you wait for your connections to finesse a job for you.

“c’mon, y/n, you’d be really good at it,” your mom insists. “i always thought you’d be a great teacher, so this can be a way for you to try it out.”

“i don’t know mom,” you say. “this just doesn’t align with the plan i had for myself.”

“well i know that,” your mom scoffs. “i’m just saying...if nothing better comes along....:

“i’ll consider it,” you assure her, putting her at ease for the time being. she moves on to complaining about some family drama, and you start to zone out, catching yourself thinking about how bad the nursery job really would be.

that following sunday, you wake up to your phone ringing. it’s still early, and it’s the weekend, so you decide to ignore it and try to fall back asleep. the buzzing stops and your room is quiet for a moment before you feel another vibration alerting you of a voicemail. worried that it could be something about a job opportunity, you grab your phone and play the voicemail without checking the number.

“hello? uh, hi, y/n,” a man’s voice begins. “this is seonghwa, from church. i uh, i saw that you might be interested in the open nursery job? so i was calling about that. if you have any questions, you can just call me, and maybe we can meet to discuss the position. i think you’d really like it, so i hope you get in touch soon. ok. um. that’s it. alrighty. bye.”

seonghwa? park seonghwa? like the guy you had a big ass crush on from age ten to eighteen park seonghwa? just the thought of him working with babies is enough to make you swoon. maybe this is a sign that you shouldn’t take the nursery job after all, even though you’d convinced yourself to do it for a few months at least.

then again...it’s been a while since you’ve seen seonghwa, so maybe those childhood feelings won’t resurface and it won’t be as endearing to see him with babies as you’re imagining. you decide to sleep on it a little more, and plug your phone back in before you roll over and go back to sleep with babies and seonghwa on the brain.

“y/n!” your mom yells, obviously using the spare key you gave her very freely. she let herself into your apartment on her way home from church because she had news.

so, yes, maybe she mentioned the whole baby nursery thing to you because she wants to light a fire under your ass about having grandkids, but she knows an easy job around some cute babies will help cheer you up after finishing up your final semester and an internship without any job prospects. but this morning, the most curious thing happened.

she was sitting in her pew after church, chatting with friends, when a handsome young man came up to her asking about you of all people. he said his name was seonghwa and that you were friends back in high school, so he was really excited when he heard you were interested in the nursery job. he said he called you but you didn’t pick up (which is typical) and he wanted to know if your mom could relay the message that he really hopes you take the job. so of course, she had to come tell you immediately. now, she won’t admit that she’s already got your wedding planned with this young man, but she does have venues bookmarked in her phone. just in case.

you woke up a few minutes before she came over uninvited, so you were alive and dressed, thankfully. don’t need to hear a lecture from your mom about sleeping until noon as a grown adult. you grab your laundry basket on the way out to make it look like you’ve had a productive morning and go to greet your mother.

“hey mom, thanks for the heads up,” you reply and she just rolls her eyes as she unpacks the food she brought over.

“nice to see you too, sweetie,” she scoffs. “i have a bone to pick with you.”

“oh do tell.”

“do you remember seonghwa?” she asks, and it takes every ounce of strength in you to not audibly groan.

“yeah, he called me about the position,” you say, skipping the part where your mother coos over how marry-able he is. “i was gonna call him back once church let out.”

“and have you?” she sing-songs back.

“no,” you reply in the same tone. “he’s probably still there with the kids so i was gonna give a few more minutes. and also, you’re here. it’s rude to take phone calls when you have guests.”

“i guess i’ll just have to get out of your hair then,” your mom says as she starts to pack up.

“you’re joking?” you ask incredulously. “you’ve never come over for such a short amount of time.”

“that was the plan the whole time,” she assures you. “i thought you might need some face to face encouragement to call that nice young man, and i didn’t want to feel bad about finishing this family size meal all by myself, so it was a successful trip.”

“thanks mom,” you grumble as you drop the facade of being productive and leave your laundry on the kitchen table in favor of picking at the fried chicken on your kitchen counter.

“call that boy!” your mom shouts as she lets herself out, and you promise that you will so she’ll leave faster.

you let a few days go by before you actually call seonghwa. part of you is hoping that you’ll hear from one of the many jobs you’ve applied for in your field, and the other part of you is trying to suppress the butterflies you get every time you think about seonghwa. you think you’ve finally got those under control, and your rent is looming ahead of you, so you take the dive and call your old friend.

was seonghwa still your friend? as you wait for him to pick up you think back on some of the time you spent together as kids, which was definitely peak friendship for the two of you. then you started drifting apart around middle school and came back around during high school when you both started volunteering with the younger kids. you drifted again when you both went to college, and you realize you haven’t really spoken to him since. it makes sense that seonghwa would still be working with kids, but you wonder what he’s been up to these past few years. your train of thought is cut short by the sound of the familiar voice on the other end of the phone.

“y/n?” seonghwa asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. “didn’t think you’d ever call me back.”

“yep,” you laugh nervously. so much for suppressing the butterflies in your gut. “i am completely skint, so i need a job. and you so kindly offered me one the other day, remember?”

“skint?” seonghwa replies. “you learn a bunch of weird words off at that fancy college of yours?”

so it seems the years apart didn’t take away that comfortable connection you always seemed to have with seonghwa. friends and family would call what you two consider platonic banter just straight up flirting, but there’s no one around to hear the teasing lilt in seonghwa’s voice or to see the blush threatening to rise all over your face.

“i learned a few,” you confirm. “do you know what assiduous means?”

“isn’t that a type of tree?”

“no,” you laugh. “it means to show great care and perseverance.”

“i was way off,” seonghwa laughs back and you nod despite being alone. “maybe that can be your thing if you get this job, you teach the babies new words.”

“yeah, tell me more about this job,” you start. “do we have to actually sit on the babies?”

seonghwa wasn’t expecting that, and laughs fully from his chest. you can’t stop the warmth that spreads through you at the sound, and it takes seonghwa a moment to respond.

“dear god, please don’t sit on them,” he says through a few spare giggles. “your mom didn’t explain the job to you?”

“a little,” you shrug. “but you actually do it, so tell me more. what’s it like getting paid to wipe baby shit all morning?”

seonghwa goes on to explain the job, and you learn that it’s not just a one day gig, which is great news for you. you could potentially work the majority of the day on sunday with a few hours here and there throughout the week for bible studies that need childcare. it’s not an astounding amount of money, but with your savings it’s enough to hold you over while you look for something more permanent.

“and the kids are really cute,” seonghwa concludes, ending his thorough description of everything this job entails.

“thank goodness, i wouldn’t do it if they were uggos,” you joke, and you hear seonghwa sigh, but you also think you hear a smile in his voice as he replies.

“you haven’t changed at all, have you y/n?”

“if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, right?” you answer. “so when could i start working in the nursery?”

“seriously?” seonghwa asks, sounding surprised, which is weird considering you just spent 10 minutes on the phone with him discussing the job and its duties.

“uh, yeah? that’s why i called.”

“oh, um, right,” seonghwa hesitates. “well, uh, i guess you could start this sunday? you can come in tomorrow to do the paperwork, i’ll be there to do childcare for a leadership meeting, and i can show you where everything is.”

“seonghwa, i’ve been going to this church since i was a baby,” you tell him. “i already know where everything is.”

“ah yes, but do you know where i keep my secret pack of snacks that i steal from the toddler rooms so i have something to eat that’s not pre-mushed? or where the good lysol spray is kept?”

“you have much knowledge,” you tease. “guess i’ve got a lot to learn.”

“yeah, you’ve just got to be assiduous about it,” seonghwa replies, a smile present in his voice. “so i’ll see you tomorrow? and then again on sunday?”

“tomorrow and again on sunday,” you confirm. “bye seonghwa! and thank you, seriously. i needed this job.”

“it was yours from the start,” he tells you. “see you later, y/n.”

you get to church early the next day, and find seonghwa in the baby nursery organizing diapers into different drawers. you stop for a minute and take him in, noticing that his face shows a little more maturity than the cherub faced kid you grew up with. you’ve seen him around, but you haven’t taken the time to notice just how...grown up seonghwa looks. he looks good, you can’t deny. you’re busy staring at his chiseled jawline when he turns and jumps at your presence.

“jesus, y/n, say something next time,” he gasps out.

“shouldn’t you apologize for saying j dog’s name like that?” you joke.

“ok, don’t call him j dog in front of the kids,” seonghwa laughs, and he takes a moment to blatantly check you out. “you look nice.”

“oh, thanks,” you say simply. “didn’t know if i needed to treat this like a real job or not so i went with one of my more casual interview outfits.”

“you got the job,” seonghwa assures you. “no need to impress me with cute clothes.”

“so,” you say, ignoring his comment and lingering eyes. “you were gonna show me where the snacks are?”

in the next five minutes, you find yourself sprawled out at one of the little tables in a toddler room down the hall, onboarding paperwork surrounding you and a pile of oreos in between you and seonghwa. you catch up as you finish your paperwork, and you learn that seonghwa has been working at the nursery all through college. he’s not sure he wants to be a teacher anymore, or work with kids at all actually, but the church kids have a special place in his heart so that’s kept him here over the years.

“what about you?” he asks. “you just graduated right?”

“right,” you confirm. “kinda don’t wanna talk about it.”

“why not?”

“well, no offense, but i didn’t expect to get my degree and then come back home to work with church babies,” you tell him. “i’m not as nice as you, i don’t have a soft spot for these kids. i just have bills i have to pay.”

“i get that,” seonghwa nods. “not everyone can be as kind and caring as i am.”

“woah, that’s totally not what i meant,” you laugh, and seonghwa smiles back at you.

“no, i really do get it,” he assures you. “i don’t plan on being here much longer myself.”

“oh? and what’s next for the oh so lovely park seonghwa?” you tease, and you feel proud at the blush you find dusting seonghwa’s cheeks.

“i’ll be keeping that to myself for now,” he teases back, popping an oreo in his mouth as he glances down at your paperwork. “you did that page wrong.”

“what?!” you exclaim, looking back to notice that yes, you did fill it out wrong. you wrote in the spots meant for the employer and not the employee, and you groan. “it’s because you’re distracting me.”

“if i’m a distraction to you then i don’t think we should work together y/n,” seonghwa says, holding eye contact with you for a moment. suddenly you find it hard to breathe, and if seonghwa hadn’t moved to get you a new sheet, then you’re not sure where that conversation would’ve gone. there was some kind of intention behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite read, so you decide to ignore it instead as you pop open an oreo and absentmindedly eat the icing. seonghwa catches you licking the icing off and has to remind himself he’s literally at church so his mind won’t wander.

“here,” he says as he gently hands you the new stack of paper. “brought some extras in case you mess up again.”

“don’t make me quit before i even start, park.”

“sorry,” he laughs. “but speaking of that, when can you start?”

“uh, pretty immediately?” you tell him. “i really need money.”

“so like, could you start tonight?”

apparently thursdays are a big day for bible studies at your church, because within an hour, you’ve got about five newborns in the nursery with you and seonghwa. the other nursery workers came in shortly after you finished your paperwork and welcomed you, and you had to laugh at them calling you “seonghwa’s friend” as if you didn’t grow up in this church just like he did. it’s obvious you’re not as involved as seonghwa, so it didn’t matter that much, but when you recognized one of your childhood church friends dropping off her kid, you waved, and she pretended not to see you. that got on your nerves, but someone dropping off another baby cut through your angry inner monologue. you hold eye contact with the baby in your arms before you call for seonghwa’s attention.

“seonghwa you told me these kids were cute,” you start out. “this one looks like a cabbage patch kid gone wrong.”

“don’t say that y/n!” seonghwa scolds you, but you can see the hint of a smile sneaking through his sharp features.. “babies are little angels.”

“you really like kids don’t you?” you ask, after watching him fuss over the baby in his arms. “you’re really good with them.”

“thanks,” he replies with a soft, yet breathtaking, smile. “i’ve always felt like i needed to work with them so i could be the kinda person i always needed when i grew up.”

“why babies though?” you ask. “aren’t they more work?”

“eh, not here,” seonghwa shrugs. “the other kids talk too much. ask a lotta questions i don’t want to answer.”

“smart man.”

“but also the past few years i’ve just had babies on the brain,” seonghwa continues as he bounces the baby in his arms. “i guess it’s my subconscious telling me i need to start a family soon.”

“any prospects for that family, hm?” you pry, smiling as you watch the baby in his arms giggle and clap.

“maybe,” seonghwa replies shyly. “i don’t wanna talk about it.”

and you leave it, for that night at least. the crush you have/had on seonghwa is keeping you from being totally neutral, so you know you’ll want to ask again in the future, but for now you let seonghwa be cute with his little baby buddies and you just admire from afar and help out as you can.

before the night is over, one of the little girls has completely clung to you, falling asleep on your chest so securely that her mom jokes about bringing you home with them so they don’t have to wake her. with a little luck, you don’t even disturb her as you place her into her stroller, and seonghwa looks on proudly while you smile and wave goodbye to some of the cute kids walking by.

“so when were you gonna tell me you were a pro at this?” seonghwa asks, and you blush slightly. “the babies, and the parents, love you. impressive.”

“they’re easy to get along with,” you shrug. “and you made it pretty easy too.”

“what about you?” seonghwa asks suddenly. “have you thought about starting a family?”

“not until recently,” you admit. “seeing my friends have kids has really lit a fire under my ass, mostly because my mom sees her friends talking about grandkids on facebook and then she comes to me asking for grandbabies just about every single day.”

“and?”

“and what?”

“do you think you’ll have kids?” seonghwa asks, and you shrug.

“not sure, really. maybe if i meet the right person? but for now, no,” you tell him. “need a real job before i can have a real kid.”

“got it,” seonghwa nods, something unreadable in his expression. he finishes wiping down the counter before turning to face you fully. “want me to walk you to your car?”

“i’m right outside, you don’t need to-”

“i insist.”

you take a few minutes to collect your things, and then seonghwa is leading you out of the church, pointing out which doors need to be locked before you walk out and what lights need to stay on for the cleaning crews. you take it all in intently, and soon enough you’re outside your car, awkwardly waiting for seonghwa to finish his spiel about coming to work early.

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa interrupts himself. “i’m boring you.”

“no, not at all hwa!” you insist. he quirks an eyebrow at the resurfaced nickname, and you stumble on insisting that you’ll be at work early no matter what, and you’re so thankful for this job, and-

seonghwa kisses you. it’s quick, so you almost don’t notice, but he definitely kissed you, the lingering hand on your hip to steady you is enough evidence of that. he pulled away quickly, and it gives you a chance to stare back at him, checking his eyes before flitting your own gaze back down to his lips. he gets the hint and leans back in, this time securely wrapping his hands around your waist as your hands card through his hair. it’s an innocent kiss, but seonghwa’s touch makes you feel like you’re on fire. he alternates between deep kisses that have you searching for air, and then he pulls back slightly to nip your lips and tease as if he’s going to pull away, before diving back in.

but before you know it, he’s pulling away again, whispering something about work on sunday, and then he’s gone, leaving you with puffy lips and your heart beating against your ribcage.

the next few shifts with seonghwa go by without a word about your kiss. he’s still his friendliest self, still a little aloof like always, and still so sickeningly sweet with the babies. it’s doing things to your heart, watching him take care of them so well, and you catch yourself staring a little too often. you hope seonghwa doesn’t see, but he’s caught you a few times. all it does is rustle the budding feelings for you deep in his chest, and he does his best to ignore them for now.

“why do you keep staring at me?” he asks one quiet shift, just the two of you and a baby asleep in each of your arms. you had absolutely been staring at his plump lips as they made kissy sounds at the baby in his lap, but you can’t just say that. you don’t know where you stand with seonghwa, so you don’t wanna push it if there’s not anything that should be pushed, so you make something up.

“oh, i was just looking at how you were holding the baby,” you tell him. he’s somehow made a barrier for the baby to sit comfortably in his elevated lap, which looks so much more comfortable than the way you’re sitting. “i think my arm is about to fall asleep.”

“well we can’t have that,” seonghwa says, finally looking over to you and noting how your arm must be cramped in that small chair. he gets up and carefully places his baby in a bouncer before making his way to you. “let me show you how to do it.”

“what?” you ask, taken aback as seonghwa slides his arms around yours to shift your grip on the bundle of joy you’re holding.

“just go with it,” he says, eyes flicking up to bore into your own. his voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re not sure if that’s because of the sleeping baby or not.

he pulls his arms away once he’s satisfied with your hold, and you assume that’s all he’s gonna do. you’re noticeably more comfortable now, but seonghwa’s not done. he places his hand at the back of your knee and pulls your leg up. the touch takes your breath away, and seonghwa is quick to position you so that both of your feet are on the stool in front of you, legs bent to create that same elevated surface for the baby that you watched him do. he tells you to put the baby in your lap now, and he stands above you for a few moments to gauge your comfort level. one hand is still on your knee though, so he gives it a squeeze before pulling away completely.

“see? that’s better.”

“mhm,” you squeak out, still reeling over the feeling of his hands on your legs. the slightest hint of fire lingers on everywhere he touched, and you focus on your baby to clear your head. “thank you.”

“anytime,” he hums, moving around the room with a smug smile on his face.

it isn’t until a week or so later that seonghwa makes another move. it was a busy day, you were swamped with crying kids all morning, and seonghwa could tell you needed some kind of relief.

“y/n?” seonghwa whispers, trying not to disturb the easily excitable babies that are currently asleep. “are you doing anything tonight?”

“uh, no?” you reply. “why? please don’t tell me it involves more babies.”

“no,” he chuckles quietly. “i was planning on meeting some friends at a bar and wanted to know if you’d be down to join us? you remember my friend, hongjoong right?”

“was he the one that you brought as your friend to youth night one year, and the pastors all asked you if they should pray for his soul?” you ask jokingly, somewhat remembering the fiasco it was that seonghwa brought a friend who dared to come to church with blue hair and an actual fashion sense. it catches seonghwa off guard, and his chuckle is a little louder this time. you both freeze, staring into each other’s eyes and hoping you don’t hear a baby wailing in the next three seconds. the room stays silent, so he continues the conversation.

“yeah, that’s him,” he smiles. “he’s dj’ing tonight, so we’re going out to support him, if you wanna come.”

“yeah, i’m down,” you say with a shrug. “could definitely use a drink after dealing with these little ones.”

“don’t talk about impure things around the babies,” he whispers back.

“hwa, none of these kids know what we’re saying,” you say a little louder than you probably should. the baby closest to seonghwa starts to whine, and he’s quick to soothe them, but then the baby next to them wakes up and starts crying, and suddenly the whole room is abuzz with tears. you catch seonghwa’s eye and smile, “bet you could use a drink right about now, huh?”

you agree to meet seonghwa at the bar, just taking a lyft to make things easier on yourself later. you make it through the front and start looking around for your devilishly handsome coworker when you hear someone calling your name. you turn and see what must be hongjoong waving you over.

“y/n!” he shouts as soon as you’re close enough. “it’s so good to see you!”

“you too!” you shout back over the music. “i can’t believe you recognized me after all these years.”

“i’d remember that face,” he replies with a wink, and you can’t help but take the compliment shyly. “thanks for coming to see my set.”

“well thank seonghwa for inviting me,” you tell him. “do you know where he is, by the way?”

“he’s outside trying to find some of our friends,” he explains. “apparently they started pregaming and are too drunk to find the bar. so i’m sorry about any of that in advance.”

“oh i’m sure it’ll be fine,” you laugh. “speaking of drinks though, i think i’m gonna head to the bar, you need anything?”

“nah,” hongjoong shakes his head. “i’m good, don’t like to be affected when i get on stage.”

“very professional of you,” you reply. “i’ll be right back then.”

you squeeze your way through the crowd, fighting for a spot against the bar as you wait to get the bartender’s attention. while you wait, a hand lightly taps your shoulder, and you turn around to see seonghwa. he smiles at you sweetly, waving from a couple people behind you. you wave back, but grab his hand before he puts it down and you just yank him to the front with you.

“thanks for that,” he laughs. “glad you could make it.”

“happy to be here,” you smile. “you need a drink?”

“hell yes,” he replies, and you gasp in pretend shock.

“perfect angel park seonghwa just said a curse word?” you continue, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“i could say a lot worse than that,” he assures you, and you don’t know why that makes your heart skip a beat.

“i’d like to see that,” you tease.

“i’m sure you would,” he fights back, and you fall quiet. the bartender looks your way and seonghwa waves her over before whispering to you, “if it’s quicker, we can just put this all on one tab.”

“okay,” you agree, reaching for your wallet, but seonghwa puts his hand on top of yours and shakes his head.

“don’t even think about it,” he says. “i invited you out, i’ll get this round.”

“thank you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder so you can shout it in his ear over the music. you both order, and continue to wait as the music booms around you. the drinks come quickly, and there’s suddenly a large group trying to push their way to the bar, so seonghwa, thinking fast, grabs you by the hip to lead you back to the table where hongjoong sits, now with a few new faces.

the friends introduce themselves as yeosang, yunho and mingi, and they seem like nice guys. despite what hongjoong said earlier, they don’t seem too drunk, and they’re easy to talk to, which you appreciate. it’ll be a fun night, and you all hype hongjoong up as he gets ready to perform.

“so how often does he do this?” you ask seonghwa, who’s motioning for you to slide into the booth next to yeosang.

“not that often actually,” seonghwa explains. “he usually just produces or writes for his side projects, but every once in a while the owner here convinces him to dj if she needs some extra cash. hongjoong always pulls a big crowd.”

“i didn’t realize i’ve been invited to such an exclusive event,” you joke, and seonghwa smiles lightly.

“well you are a vip,” he lamely replies, and you laugh, mostly at his red cheeks and the face of regret after he realizes how corny that was. “shut up. try your drink.”

“what’d you two order?” mingi asks, finally cutting into the banter between you and hwa.

“i got a mule and y/n got a fancy martini,” seonghwa explains. “y/n’s all grown up on me now.”

“i saw a tiktok about a bartender that said people who know their exact martini order are sexy, so i’ve been trying a few things,” you admit.

“that is kinda sexy,” yeosang says, giving you a suggestive eyebrow wiggle that gets you laughing. you don’t notice seonghwa stiffening beside you as yunho butts in.

“so what’s your order?” he asks politely. “martinis always seem boring, but that looks good.”

“you can try a sip if you want,” you offer him. “it’s a wet martini with a twist, so it’s a little sweeter, but still strong.”

“wet?” mingi laughs, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“grow up, that’s how you know how much vermouth is in it, you twelve year old,” seonghwa scolds him. he says this as he watches you pass your drink to yunho, who sticks his straw in and takes a tentative taste. why didn’t you ask seonghwa if he wanted to try?

“that’s actually not bad,” yunho says with a nod.

“i like it,” you agree. “having a go to martini order feels so adult. figured it was time to move on from the cheapest thing on the menu and go for a big kid drink.”

“hey, hongjoong’s starting!” yeosang chimes, noticing how the lights have changed and the music is getting lower before transitioning to hongjoong’s set. you all turn your focus to the stage to watch him hard at work, heads bopping along as he builds momentum. your table stays quiet for a moment, enjoying the music and sipping your drinks, and then you feel a slight pressure on your leg. you look down to see seonghwa gripping your thigh, and you glance up at him but he’s still focused on his friend. you stare for a moment, hoping to catch his eye to no avail. you look back at hongjoong, and seonghwa squeezes your knee before letting go completely. you ignore it, but scoot closer to him ever so slightly.

you’re about to turn around to say something to him when hongjoong suddenly changes the song to one of your favorites, and instead of the subtle move you were going for you whip your head around to face seonghwa and insist that “we need to go dance. like now.”

“now?” he asks, slightly caught off guard as you put all your weight on him to force him out of the booth.

“yes, now!” you shriek. “i love this song, let’s go!”

seonghwa finally stands and you down the rest of your martini before grabbing his hand and leading him toward the crowd. you nestle yourselves off to the side, but in hongjoong’s line of sight, so he smiles and waves when he notices you having a good time. you lightly drape your arms across seonghwa’s shoulders and start to dance, and it takes him no time to place his hands on your hips and follow suit. maybe downing your drink wasn’t the best choice, but hey, you’re dancing with seonghwa and he seems to have no problem with it. he really must not mind, because now you’re singing along to the chorus right in his face and he just laughs and pulls you tighter. you notice a tension in his hold, but you’re too enveloped by the song to really care. your song slowly starts to build into another, and you slow your movements and lean slightly into seonghwa’s chest to catch your breath.

“that was cute,” he says, looking down at you through a gaze that you can’t quite read. “note to self, y/n really likes bad bunny.”

“it’s a good song,” you laugh nervously, trying not to think about the last time you were this close to seonghwa. his lips are slightly chapped tonight, but plump and kissable nonetheless. maybe if you just-

“i’ll have to remember what else you like,” he says lowly, and you have to lean closer to hear him fully.

“like what?” you ask, unsure of where this is going.

“well, i know what kind of music you like,” he begins. “and now i know what kind of drinks you like, too. you like your martinis wet, right?”

“you seem to be paying a lot of attention to me, park,” you just barely whisper, your lips so close to his ear he can feel your breath.

“answer the question, y/n,” he warns. “you like your cocktails wet, right?” you give a meek ‘mhm’ in response. “then i wonder what else you like wet, huh?”

you pull back from him slightly, mostly to read the look he’s giving you, but seonghwa has tightened his grip on you so hard that you can’t quite move. now you notice the tension you felt earlier came from the bulge in his pants that’s currently pressed up against your thigh, and your next look at seonghwa tells you all that you need to know.

“why don’t we get out of here and you can find out?”

“get out of here” didn’t really work that well. you made it back near the bar with every intent of closing out the tab, but seonghwa decided kissing along the nape of your neck was a better idea. then he pushed you over toward the wall and occupied your lips for some time, and after that you couldn’t take it anymore. you’re currently pressed up against the door of the nearest bathroom, seonghwa’s lips on yours and his desperate moans sending warmth from your chest all the way to your core. you whimper as he pulls away, and he has the audacity to smirk at you while he brushes the hair out of your face.

“couldn’t wait till we got to my place, darling? had to have me right now?” he teases, tracing his fingers across the marks along your neck before dipping them to the top of your shirt. “can i take this off love?” you nod quickly and lift your arms, helping seonghwa pull it off you. your bra leaves little to the imagination, and seonghwa can’t help but stare for a moment. while he’s distracted, you try to catch him off guard.

“who knew precious church boy seonghwa was the kind of guy to fuck in a bar bathroom?” you tease, and seonghwa responds by dipping his fingers down to pinch your nipple. you try to save face with your response, “pinching, really? grow up.”

“stop talking,” seonghwa says lowly before meeting your lips again. “not sure...what you’re into..or i would’ve just slapped your tits to shut you up.”

“i thought you said you wanted to learn what i like,” you say as you pull apart. “so ask me what i like. and don’t say anything about being wet.”

“are you?” seonghwa quips, and you quirk an eyebrow in reply. “you want me to find out myself?”

“ah, after you take your shirt off,” you interject. “i like an even playing field, i take something off, you take something off.”

“fine,” he gruffs, pulling his shirt over his head with ease and revealing the most surprisingly toned chest you’ve ever seen.

“damn, lifting babies made you buff,” you joke, and seonghwa decides he’s getting tired of your jokes. he finds the waistband of your panties poking out above your hips and gives it a tug, releasing the elastic on your skin to give you a little jolt. he looks back up to your eyes and you tell him it’s okay before he dips his fingers into your underwear to immediately find your clit. he gives it a few tentative rubs that have you rutting your hips embarrassingly quickly, and then he’s dipping two digits down to your entrance.

“you think you can take two fingers already?” he asks. “you’re wet enough i think they would slide right in.”

he’s right, he pushes his fingers into you with ease and you hear how wet you are with each movement. he gets in a few quick strokes and then he pulls his fingers from you too soon, silencing you quickly by tapping his fingers on your lips.

“suck,” he instructs you. “don’t wanna hear your funny little jokes right now.”

“but-”

“ah ah, i can stop and we can go back to the table,” he begins, and you violently shake your head, his wet fingers rubbing obscenely over your lips. you tentatively lick away the slick and seonghwa rolls his hips into yours with a moan. “cmon, fingers in your mouth or we’re not doing anything else. can’t get too loud or we’ll ruin hongjoong’s set.”

you finally comply, welcoming seonghwa’s digits as they push past your lips and rest on your tongue. you do as he said and give a little suck, swiping your tongue around to collect the arousal that’s still currently dripping through your panties.

“hmmm,” seonghwa continues. “should i eat you out for good measure? or would that take too long?” you try to respond with his fingers in your mouth, but he sighs and pulls his hand away so he can hear you.

“not sure how long i would last,” you pant slightly. “and i wanna cum on your cock too badly to risk it.”

“oh baby, who said you wouldn’t?” he asks, sending a shiver down your spine. “help me get undressed sweetheart, and i’ll show you something i like.”

you reach for seonghwa’s pants as he does the same to you, roughly undoing his belt and zipper so you can push his pants off him quicker. you’re both left in your underwear, and seonghwa pulls your bra off your shoulders as you dip your hand into his boxers. you give him a quick squeeze, which has him bucking into your touch, and you feel a little victorious, but just for a moment. he’s removed your bra and pulls your panties down next, but you watch as he balls them up and mimics opening his mouth as he brings the balled up fabric back up to your lips.

“i told you we can’t be too loud,” he explains, and you nod in understanding as you let him fill your mouth with your soiled panties. he grips your chin before stroking your clit with his free hand, and you watch as he kneels down to make good on his teasing from earlier. the first touch of his tongue against your pussy has you stifling a moan that’s more like a scream, and you’re suddenly thankful for the gag in your mouth. seonghwa gives your clit a few kitten licks before he moves down and practically starts making out with your cunt, drinking in each drop you let out and holding you down by the hip so you won’t go anywhere. you watch from above as his tongue works through your folds, and you toss your head back in a moan when he sucks on your clit and prods your entrance with his fingers. he dips in slowly at first, giving equal attention to your clit, but slowly he builds until he’s fucking you on his fingers. you can’t help but grind down into him, and the way he’s stroking you has you seeing stars. he starts to apply more pressure to your clit and you lose it, moaning loudly despite your mouth being full and you notice a single tear dripping down your cheek. seonghwa works you through your high, kissing your clit until your moans turn to whimpers, and he stands to greet you with lust filled eyes.

“you taste fucking delicious,” he says before popping his fingers into his own mouth this time. “so sweet and wet, just for me, yeah?”

you nod and mumble something through your gag, which seonghwa doesn’t understand. he pulls just enough of your panties out to hear you speak, and you take a few quick breaths before repeating yourself.

“two questions,” you start, still out of breath from your high. “are you gonna fuck me? and do you have a condom?”

at the second question, seonghwa’s face falls.

“shit,” he mumbles, reaching for his pants. “shit shit shit. i don’t think i do.”

“isn’t there a dispenser in here?” you ask, glancing around your close quarters. seonghwa follows your gaze as you notice, yes, there is a dispenser in here, but the smallest little sticky note on it displays the worst news: out of order.

“fuck,” he groans. “ok, let’s just go, we can go to my apartment and-”

“seonghwa,” you try to stop him, but he keeps going. “seonghwa!”

“what?” he asks, turning back to you with almost puppy dog pouting eyes.

“are you clean?” you ask him, and he looks confused. “i’m on the pill, so if you’re clean, i mean, i trust you, so. we could still. fuck. if you want.”

“are you sure?” he asks. “i’m clean, i promise. honestly it’s been an embarrassing amount of time since i’ve done this so you’re pretty safe, i’d say.”

“well you’re doing great for somebody out of practice,” you assure him, and he laughs.

“ok. so we’re doing this? you’re ok with it?” he confirms once more.

“yes, i’m sure. now come fuck me.”

that’s all seonghwa needs to hear before he’s crashing his lips to yours with newfound energy, and you moan at the way you can still taste yourself on his tongue.

“aren’t you gonna...gag me..again?” you mumble through the sloppy kisses. as much as you love having your tongue in seonghwa’s mouth, you don’t know how much longer you can take.

“depends, are you gonna say more stupid shit?” he asks teasingly and you have to smile.

“no promises,” you tell him and he kisses you quickly one time for good measure.

“i want you in a different position for this, love,” he says. “wanna hear you this time too, no gag. plus i think your panties fell onto the floor.”

“oh good, so those are getting burned,” you groan. “what am i gonna wear out of here?”

“nothing?” seonghwa replies with a devilish smirk. “that sounds nice to me.”

“ok now i want you to stop talking,” you say, placing your hand playfully over his mouth. he bites the palm of your hand and you stifle a moan.

“you liked that?” seonghwa asks with a glint in his eyes. “guess i’ll add biting to the list then.”

“how do you wanna fuck me?” you ask, ready to cut the banter and get back to seonghwa acting out some of your deepest desires.

“up against the mirror,” he says, his voice an octave lower and dripping with lust. “wanna see you watch yourself while i ruin you on my cock.”

your whole body shivers at his words and you can’t even hide it, which fuels seonghwa’s ego more than you’d like. but if it’ll get him to fuck you faster, you don’t mind. you let his hands run down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake, before he stops at your hips and turns you toward the mirror and the sink. his hands glide up your back, over your shoulders, and back down your arms to guide you so that you’re gripping onto the sink, all the while maintaining eye contact through the mirror. you feel yourself dripping, and you wish seonghwa would just split you open on his cock already.

“getting impatient, are we?” he asks, reading your mind. “stop rubbing your thighs together. it’s not gonna make me move any faster.”

“seonghwa,” you whine, pouting just the slightest bit for full effect. “i want you to fuck me, please.”

“such good manners, baby,” he says, finally breaking eye contact with you to look down at your ass. he gives it a little squeeze before slapping each cheek consecutively, and you let out a yelp with each harsh touch. “if it’s too much, tell me, ok?”

“i’lll be fine, hwa,” you assure him.

“yeah, but still,” he says seriously. “just say the word. we go at your pace.”

“if we’re going at my pace then you need to speed it up a little bit,” you bite back, and seonghwa has you immediately eating your words as he buries himself in your cunt.

“you were saying?” he asks, eyebrow quirked with the cockiest smile on his face. you risk a look at yourself and he’s barely done anything and you already look fucked out. “that’s it, baby. keep your eyes right there.”

“seonghwa,” you moan again as he thrusts quickly, not moving much but successfully shoving himself deeper into your warmth.

“feels good?” he asks quietly, thrusting again a little quicker. you can only nod and let out a shaky breath in response, so he pulls out all the way and buries himself again, ripping a small scream from the back of your throat.

“hwa, fuck me, please,” you beg. “fuck me like you mean it.”

“as you wish,” he obeys, collecting the hair on your back and creating a grip for himself. he pulls you up slightly to create some leverage, and then he’s pounding into you so hard and so deep you feel the edge of the link leaving marks on your thighs. seonghwa’s eyes are glued to your reflection and the way your jaw seems to drop more and more with each thrust, and he moans when he feels you clench around him. “so good for me, baby, you’re taking it so well. taking good care of my cock, hm?”

“seonghwa,” you cry. “more, need something else.”

“so needy,” he scoffs. “hips up.”

you do as he says, and he places a hand at your waist and moves it so that he’s pressing a finger to your clit with each thrust. it’s a subtle touch but it’s driving you insane, and you clench around him again, grinding down when he makes contact with your clit.

“look at you,” he coos. “going crazy for my cock, my hand on your clit...fucking in the bathroom where anyone could hear us...you like it dirty and wet, don’t you my good girl?”

you come unexpectedly at the new nickname, and seonghwa groans so loud you’re sure everyone outside could hear. you can feel the mess you’ve made between your legs grow, but seonghwa keeps going well after you’ve finished.

“is it too much?” he asks quietly and you shake your head no.

“wanna help you get off,” you say breathlessly. “wanna make you come.”

“i’m almost there love,” he says. “just keep bein’ good for me.”

you try to time your movements with his thrusts, squeezing him as he retreats and meeting him when he thrusts back in. he never moved his hand, so this is putting more friction on your clit again, and you’re surprised the overstimulation hasn’t gotten to you yet. seonghwa thrusts deeply and starts losing his breath, so he takes a minute to still inside you.

“fuck, i’m not gonna last much longer,” he says. “where do you want me to come?”

“anywhere.”

“no, y/n, tell me where-”

“i don’t care, hwa,” you whine. “just want you to come. i might come with you.”

you feel his cock twitch at that, and he smiles that devil’s smile again.

“fucked you that good, huh?” he asks, and you reach behind you to pinch his side.

“just hurry up and come,” you say.

“wherever i want?” he asks for confirmation.

“wherever you want,” you agree, and he meets your eyes in the mirror.

“then i’m gonna fill you up so i can watch your pussy leak,” he says. “how’s that sound?”

“ideal actually,” the words barely leaving your lips before he thrusts so hard your arms give out, and the grip he’s kept on your hair is the only thing keeping you upright. you moan at the pull, and moan again at the perfect way he’s sliding through your cunt, and you’re squeezing around him just right, and-

“fuckfuckfuckfuck,” he curses, hips sputtering as you feel his come coating your walls. he plugs you up with his cock and stops moving, focusing more on your clit again as he rubs until you’re bucking up into his hand and chanting his name as you come one final time. you feel his release start to drip out around his cock, and he groans as he scoops some of it up and brings it to your lips. you don’t need a command this time, your mouth open and ready as he watches you take them in through the mirror. you feel his dick twitch at the sight, and you start pulling away so he doesn’t get hard again and try to make you come a fourth time in less than an hour. your legs are shaky as he pulls out, and seonghwa audibly groans as he watches his come leak from your pussy.

“that’s beautiful,” he tells you, pushing some of it back in as you look around for your clothes. “you did so good for me.” you can’t help the way you clench at his words, and seonghwa smiles to himself. “glad you came out tonight?”

“mhm,” you squeak, unsure that you can speak properly just yet.

“what are you looking for?” seonghwa asks, picking up on your frantic eyes.

“my panties?”

“they fell, remember?”

“oh shit,” you groan, peeking the fabric that’s mocking you from the floor near the first stall. “shit then i need to get cleaned up.”

“you’re not gonna leave it in?” seonghwa asks with a pout. “but i worked really hard.”

“you’re disgusting,” you laugh as you try to distract yourself from thinking about how hot it is that seonghwa’s come is actively dripping down your legs.

“just pull your pants up and keep your legs closed,” he tells you. “we probably won’t be here much longer anyway.”

“how do you know that?”

“hongjoong’s set most likely ended in between your second and third orgasms? so i bet we’re the only ones of our group left.”

“i’m sorry we missed his set,” you begin, and seonghwa silences you with a kiss.

“are you kidding me? this show was a hell of a lot better.”

after you fucked seonghwa in the bathroom, you casually went back out to your table only to find that, yep, hongjoong’s set was over, and all of their friends had left. seonghwa insisted on driving you home and you laughed together when he plugged his phone into his car and there was a slurry of texts from hongjoong cussing hwa out for choosing a quick fuck over his best friend.

seonghwa was a complete gentleman the whole way home, quieting any question in your mind that he might spend the rest of the night with you. he politely kissed you goodnight, and waited for you to get inside safely before he left, but that was it. for days, actually. he didn’t work the next time you were scheduled, which was odd, and then the next sunday he was mysteriously placed with the toddler class instead of in the infant room with you. you thought you could try to get there early to (jokingly) ask what the fuck was going on, but what you find upon entering the church stops you cold.

the service must have just let out, based on how many people there are in the lobby, so it would be hard for anyone else to spot seonghwa, nestled over in the corner. but seeing as you’ve been semi-obsessed with the man since you started working here, you spot him immediately. you’re so hyperfocused on him it almost takes you a minute to realize there’s a girl hanging onto his arm, and you feel sick.

who knew the sweet boy from church could break your heart so easily?

you don’t even know who she is, so you shouldn’t freak out over it too much, but the thoughts inside your head can’t be tamed. did seonghwa just want to get into your pants, and now he’s moved onto his next victim? or, maybe worse, he was in a relationship the whole time and you just fucked a man who has an entire girlfriend. that makes you feel like the bad person, so you decide to pick the first option, painting seonghwa as the villain. sweet, starry eyed seonghwa, who started bringing you coffee each week and saving your favorite snacks for the two of you to share while the babies slept. kind seonghwa who spoke to the babies like they were gifts from god himself. lovely seonghwa who you caught staring at you at least twice every day since you’ve started working together. maybe you had just read him wrong, and the baby-whisperer thing is just a front so he can be a dick on the side and no one will bat an eye. whatever it is, you’re upset, and you can’t help but think that if you never took this job in the first place you wouldn’t be about to cry in the nursery at the thought of seonghwa with someone else.

while you’re having an internal crisis, one of the other sunday school teachers pops her head in to say hi and make a comment about seonghwa not being with the babies today.

“that’s weird, isn’t it?” she asks, and you simply nod. “he sure loves these babies. and you, but you didn’t hear that from me.” you fake a little giggle as she mimics locking her lips, and you turn to the changing table to look busy. she gets the hint and makes another comment that goes unheard by you, and you’re left alone until you hear the other nursery worker unlocking the baby gate and stepping inside. a little part of you hopes it’s seonghwa and he just has an evil twin hanging around, but a quick look over your shoulder proves you wrong. you’d let your mind linger on the frustration inside you, but the first set of babies are arriving, so you let the mindless tasks of your job take over for the time being.

you’re able to keep your mind off seonghwa until it’s time to leave and you see him coming down the hall from the toddler room. he starts to wave, but you turn around so quickly he gets the feeling that something is wrong. it’s not that he’s avoiding you, well, not on purpose. he is trying to sort through some feelings he doesn’t quite understand, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wanna be around you since you slept together. but obviously that’s not the way you feel. he lets you turn around in a huff and leave before he can call for your attention, and he settles on trying to talk again another day.

“ms pat, caleb is dirty again,” you semi-complain, telling the other adult in the infant room that the baby you’re holding basically just shat on you. it’s a tuesday night, you’ve got too many babies that came from the same bible study, and seonghwa is yet again nowhere to be seen. you heard something about a shift in the childcare schedule, so maybe he’s in another room...again. regardless, you’ve got a pooping baby in your arms, and your new room buddy jumps into action so you make the pass quickly, quick enough that the innocent baby doesn’t even know what’s going on. with your hands free, you start cleaning up the toys littering the floor when you hear a voice by the door clearing their throat.

“hi y/n,” seonghwa says quietly, trying not to disturb the babies’ peace. “can i talk to you for a minute?”

“kinda busy, seonghwa,” you say in an irritated voice. “shouldn’t you be in your new room anyway?”

“i’m taking a kid to the potty,” he explains, and you roll your eyes.

“you’re an adult, please say anything else.”

“y/n,” he says again. “please. come talk to me, just one minute.”

“i can’t seonghwa, i’m working.”

“she can leave,” ms pat says from the corner of the room. “i’ve got it.”

you look up from the toys you’re trying to line up perfectly, and you catch seonghwa’s cocky smirk as he nods his head toward the hall. you groan and stand, assuring the baby room that you’ll be right back and then seonghwa is opening the baby gate for you. you get a couple steps away from any of the open nursery rooms, and then you turn to face seonghwa.

“what do you want.”

“your new friend seemed pretty eager to get rid of you,” he jokes. “you being mean to the babies again?”

“not any meaner than normal,” you say. “i’m a ray of sunshine in there.”

“like you are right now?” he starts, and you scoff.

“oh please. i have the right to act this way,” you say. “why haven’t i heard from you since we had sex?”

“shh!” seonghwa semi-shouts, reaching to cover your mouth but you step away. “jesus y/n, we’re still at church.”

‘and you just said jesus’ name in vain,” you point out with a cock of your head. “so i guess we’re both sinners today.”

“i’m sorry,” he says quickly. “i didn’t mean to go radio silent on you.”

‘that’s fine,” you say, starting back toward your classroom. “thanks for the apology.”

“wait-” he says, grabbing your arm. “let me finish.”

“i let you finish once, that’s enough i think.”

“y/n c’mon,” he sighs. “what’s gotten into you?”

“i saw you with a girl the other sunday,” you begin. “she was hanging onto you like she was pretty comfortable with it. not sure who she is but i’m also not sure i wanna be in the middle of that.”

“who?” seonghwa asks, eyes wide and sparkling, and you groan.

“ugh, nothing. please, let me go back to work.”

“no, no, you thought i was with someone else?” he starts again, cornering you against the wall so you can’t try to leave anymore. you watch as he flashes back through the past few days, and it’s like you see the lightbulb of recognition go off when it connects. then, suddenly, he makes a face of disgust. “are you talking about her?”

“gee seonghwa, i don’t know,” you say. “why don’t you tell me who she is first and we’ll see if that’s who i’m thinking of.”

“do you know san?” he asks out of no where. “the dick-ish dude that’s our age? he sings in the choir.”

“was he the girl?”

“no,” seonghwa laughs. “that’s his girlfriend.”

“you’re digging yourself a deep, dark hole, park.”

“stop talking,” he snaps. “that was san’s girlfriend. or ex, i should say. she was trying to make him jealous, for some reason i choose not to learn the details of, and i was the victim. apparently she’s as much of a dick as he is, so she’d been involving a lot of innocent bystanders in their fights lately.”

“oh.”

“yeah,” he nods. “so you saw her hanging off of me? did you see me push her away and knock her right into the assistant pastor?”

“ha, no i did not,” you chuckle. “wish i had though.”

“i can try to recreate it for you,” he teases, and you roll your eyes. “i can’t believe you were this upset over that.”

“it wasn’t just that,” you whine. “yes, i was upset that you might’ve been with someone so soon after we fucked, but i still have not heard from you since and that’s why i’m still so mad at you. you’re not even working in the baby room anymore, so it feels like you’re avoiding me.”

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa nods. “i shouldn’t have ignored you. and didn’t you read the childcare emails last week? the toddler teachers got covid through their bible study, so i’m filling in until they’re better.”

“oh great, so i’m jealous and illiterate,” you nod. “good. love that for me.”

“you were jealous?” seonghwa asks with a smile and you groan again.

“seonghwa, yes, yes i was jealous. i’m jealous of the babies that you hug and kiss because i wish you’d do that to me, of course i was jealous of a girl throwing herself at you.”

you stop for a second and realize the confession you just made, and you feel your face flush. seonghwa shifts too, moving from just casually keeping you against the wall to pushing you into it with his hips. his hands rest at your waist, giving it reassuring squeezes as he speaks.

“as precious as that confession was,” he starts. “i did need some time away from you.” you start to pull away, and he shakes his head. “no, wait. i needed to cool down after we fucked because i was afraid the next time i saw you i would admit how hopelessly in love with you i am. and that’s a lot, right after sex, so i’m sorry that i took a few days and handled it poorly. i was trying to figure out my feelings, and also planning a whole confession, which was a waste of time apparently.”

“you’re hopelessly in love with me?” you ask, a smile creeping onto your lips. “why don’t you act like it then?”

then he’s kissing you, hands tracing your hips and traveling up your sides to cup your cheeks. he deepens the kiss as your hands wrap around his neck, and he mumbles into your lips “i’ve liked you since high school, and fell in love with you when i saw you with the babies for the first time, i think. still processing it though.”

“well,” kiss, “i think,” kiss, “it was the same,” kiss, “for me,” kiss.

“wait, really?” seonghwa asks, pulling away from you with a smile that lights up his eyes. another kiss. “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“still processing,” you tease, and with the next kiss seonghwa bites down on your lip in retaliation. “hey, at least we were idiots in love together.”

“i would prefer to just be in love with you,” he says seriously, finally looking up at you with something quiet and meaningful in his gaze. “i think i love you, y/n.”

“i think i love you too, seonghwa.”

#park seonghwa #park seonghwa smut #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez smut #ateez imagine #ateez one shot #park seonghwa one shot #seonghwa one shot #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #park seonghwa fic #park seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fic #seonghwa fanfic

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eustasskidagenda · 7 months

Note

Hi hi! I was wondering if you could write some fluff for Ace with a male reader that is struggling coming off his ADHD meds and sleeping properly. Or something simpler like Ace being with the reader while the reader works on their personal projects and keeping him on task, reader still has ADHD. More details could be that the reader is apart of the Whitebeard crew. I don’t mind what form you write it in, how long you want to write it is up to you. I did not know how to word this correctly and I am extremely sorry if it is completely unclear or entirely wrong requesting format. English might be my first language but that does not mean I can make sense of English's extensive grammar that is utterly flawed and quite irritating.

Thank so much for taking time out of your life to take people’s requests and write them instead of just ignoring us. Fanfic writers like yourself are what makes the world go round, mostly, have to give at least the tiniest bit of credit to the governments. Also have a great night/day/afternoon/evening!!!

Hi hi dear, of course, I'm always willing to write some fluff, especially with a cutie like Ace. :D And don't worry, it was totally clear and you did the request correctly. Hope the result will match your expectations, thank you so much for requesting. ☆

☆Ace helping his s/o struggling with ADHD

CW : m!reader, reader has ADHD, fluff, using of DF in some fluff way

WC : around 700

Ace definitely knows how to take care of others. He is both a commandant and a big brother, and he takes his position very seriously. He used to keep an eye on Luffy during his childhood. So he’s always watching for you, even from afar, to make sure you're alright. Ace has no problem with your ADHD since he has to deal with Luffy anyway. Even if his brother doesn't have ADHD, some things you may do may sound familiar to him.

He would be unsure at first. He doesn't know a lot about ADHD and is stressed about bothering you with possibly uncomfortable questions. Ace is likely overthinking and afraid of being annoying, because he always thinks he's not worthy of being loved. He would seek Marco's aid in learning the fundamentals by reading books on the subject. He wants to do his best.

He will ask you for the specifics. With a flushed and embarrassed expression. Let him know if it's alright and if he's not bothering you.

Reminding you to take your medication would quickly become a part of his own routine. And, even if he's not around, he would make sure to leave a cute note with some random drawing, like a Stickman and some… hearts, but it doesn't look like hearts. Although he doesn't know how to draw, it's nonetheless cute.

If you struggle to go to bed early because of hyperfocus and overthinking, he would just say something like "I'm going to bed. You come with me?" He doesn't want to constantly remind you about your ADHD because you're more than that. So he wouldn't bring the subject up all the time.

You're treating him like a normal guy and not like "the son of someone" so he would do the same to you.

Depending on whether you struggle with physical touch or not, he would or just lay close to you, trying to soothe your potential overthinking with random jokes and sweet nothings. Or just using his DF to make you count the fire sheep. What a cutie. And if you don't struggle with physical touch, then prepare yourself for a lot of cuddles. He would use his DF to gently run his hot palms over your skin, making sure you're comfortable again.

And if you really struggle to sleep, then he doesn't mind chatting and learning more about your hyper fixations. Ace likes that kind of stuff, and honestly, he's just so happy that you're actually just… talking to him.

Imagine his cute laughter every time you say something funny.

He might fall asleep randomly while you're talking due to his narcoleptic tendencies. But overall, he likes long-night conversations because, as you know, often the night conversations are the most intimate, the ones where two people bond closely.

When you need to focus on your work, again it depends. If you're in a hyperfixation mood, honestly, he would just look at you and randomly smile because he thinks you're adorable when you're that serious. He won't bother you since you're in your own world. But if you're hyper-focused for hours, then he would come from time to time to remind you to stay hydrated or to eat something.

"Y/N, look, I've made some grilled fish" while placing the plate in front of you.

During your night work, Ace would leave a small candle on your desk that he would light himself as a small reminder of him. He's always with you this way. "I want a goodnight kiss" with a cute pout before leaving you alone.

If you're having trouble with your tasks, he'll remind you not to procrastinate too much. Because he knows that it would just stress you more and more as the deadline approaches.

He would help you take some breaks from time to time. "Okay y/n, that's enough work, let's visit this island together"

Once you come back to work, he doesn't interfere much. Just helps you here and there as best as he can. He doesn't want to distract you. "Get outta there, you goddamn pineapple, he's working" when Marco randomly comes to talk to Ace.

And, once you are finally done with all your duties, he would proudly lend you his hat with the warmest smile ever. "I knew you could do it. That's my sweet boy, always so brave."

Ace is so wholesome, help.

#one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece requests #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace x you #portgas d ace x y/n #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace x you

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travlersjoy444 · 1 year

Text

On the Road to Nowhere

2012 Raph x Reader

Mutant Apocalypse timeline

Summary: After the mutagen bomb goes off, you manage to save Raph and Donnie. Sort of. Dealing with new bodies, memory loss, missing brothers and friends...was maybe not how any of you wanted your adult lives to go, but the world has changed beyond repair.

So with a heavy heart, you and your battered dream team set off onto the road to nowhere.

In other words, the early days of the Mutant Apocalypse.

Warnings: Angst, sadness, the characters cry a lot, bittersweet ending, really hefty word count, implied capriltello but it's in the background, Raphael is trans in this because it's my fic and my rules

Word count: 13.6k

***

Day 0.

Donnie was hooked up to some machine of theirs, trying as hard as he could to save his brain as their body was mangled beyond repair, Casey was texting you nonstop, Mikey and Leo were MIA, Raph was curled up on the couch, and you were sitting on the floor trying to process everything.

CaseyjONES:

R you guys okay??? No ones responding. Me and april are at my house

CaseyjONES:

(Y/N) seriously what’s going on? I know you can see this i see your read symbol

CaseyjONES:

Where are you guys???

Oh yeah. Now that you were done attaching Donnie to his one shot at survival, you could stop ignoring Casey’s texts. Nice.

You:

Sorry Case’ I was kinda preoccupied for a bit there

You:

Leo n Mikey are missing. Donnie and I retreated back into the lair. Raph is freaking out, I think he hit his head. Would ask Dee, but Dee is compromised.

CaseyjONES:

Compromised???

You:

They fell off a building and got impaled. Is currently uploading his consciousness into an old Metalhead prototype. Very horrifying to witness. Status update, I feel like throwing up.

CaseyjONES:

…

CaseyjONES:

Shit

You:

Shit indeed

You:

Anyways, I’m mostly uninjured. Arm mighta gotten mildly sprained but y’know what i’ll worry bout that later. Lair is a mess, only thing really salvageable was the lab. Probably gonna leave as soon as dee is stable. How are you guys?

CaseyjONES:

My sister got mutated. Last thing she touched was our cat so now she’s got claws. Shes freakin out and aprils trying to calm her down with empath powers or whatever. My dad is MIA but good riddance if ya ask me. Broke mty arm so im typing this with 1 hand, and april sprained her ankel. The cat has miraculously survived + is sittig w/ me on the couch wich is pretty cool ngl

You:

So youre all stable???

CaseyjONES:

Yea

You:

Oh thank god

You:

Cas my phones about to die. Dee n i will contact ya soon as theyre stable. Love ya. Stay safe or i’ll kill u

CaseyjONES:

Cool cool. Love you too. keep everyone+urself safe. Hopefully we;ll see yo soon.

You sighed as your phone clicked off, definitively cutting off your final connection to your friends.

Raph whimpered behind you in one of the most un-Raph like ways you’d ever heard, and you turned around.

“Raph? You okay?” You rasped.

He was curled around himself tightly, rocking back and forth.

“Who the fuck are you?” He whispered, tears in his eyes.

You winced. You were guessing he had some form of amnesia, or some kind of damage to the hippocampus.

“I’m (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N). You’re my best friend, but I think you hit your head in all the chaos.” You said slowly, feeling your heart sink even further.

He gave a strangled sob and shoved his face into his knee pads. “I hate this. Who the fuck am I?”

“You’re Raphael Hamato. You’re the son of Splinter or Hamato Yoshi. You’re the brother of Donatello, Leonardo, and Michelangelo, and the father of Chompy Picasso. You’re the best friend ever to me. You hit your head when Leo saved us from the mutagen bomb. I’m pretty sure it is currently the end of the known world.” You answered slowly, robotically. You were half-aware of how you were saying it for your own sanity as much as you were for Raph’s.

“Where are we?” Raph said, voice trembling in a way that seemed so out of character.

“Your home. Well. Sorta. It kinda got partially destroyed, there were a lotta cave ins.” You said numbly, standing up. “D’ya wanna tour? See if it…I’unno, sparks a few memories?”

He pressed his shell to the back of the couch, scooting away from you. “D’you think that’ll help? …How do I know I can trust you?”

“...C’mere.” You said, waving towards Donnie’s bulletin board in the back of the lab. Hesitantly, Raph followed after you, though not without a groan of pain.

“That’s you.” You murmured, unpinning a photo of a smiling Raph and Casey as they posed in front of a wall you’d all spray painted. “I took this photo when we were fifteen, about three years ago. That human is Casey Jones, our close friend.”

Raph took the photo, squeezing it lightly in his shaky hands. “Show me another.” He demanded.

“Here’s you and I at the farmhouse.” You smiled fondly at the memory. “I was bored and convinced you to let me give you eyeliner.” Photo-Raph was scowling at the camera, with his arms crossed and pointy winged liner around his eyes. Photo-you was grinning proudly, holding the eyeliner pen with one hand and giving photo-Raph a side-hug with the other.

Real-Raph accepted the photo. “That’s me, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t I look like you and this guy?”

“We’re humans. You’re a mutant.” You said simply. “A turtle/human hybrid, like your siblings.”

You pointed to a group shot. “The one with the blue mask is Leonardo, orange is Mikey, and purple is…uhm. Well, purple was Donnie...” You said, trying to choke back tears as you stared at the photo. “I-is any of this…y’know, ringing any bells?” You managed to mumble out through your tears.

Raph shook his head. “No.”

“Oh.” You said, feeling a fresh new wave of dread wash over you. You took a deep breath. “Well. That’s not ideal.”

“Where are the other…turtles?” Asked Raph, clearly hesitant to call these supposed strangers his siblings, which nearly broke you even further.

“Mikey and Leo are missing, and Donnie…” You sighed. “Well, I’d probably better just show you.”

You lead him over to the table where Donnies mutilated body sat underneath a sheet. Wires ran from underneath it and connected to a tiny Metalhead robot.

“What’s…wrong with him?” Raph said softly, reaching for the sheet.

“Don’t.” You breathed, brushing his hand away. “You don’t wanna see it, trust me. They fell off a building and got impaled by shrapnel and debris. Their body isn’t exactly pretty or…y’know. Recognizable as Donatello.”

“They’re dead?” Raph asked, and the tinge of discomfort in his voice wasn’t nearly enough for the situation- the Raph you knew would be yelling and crying and screaming, not…not being mildly uncomfortable in the way that one is when a stranger dies.

“Yes and no. He’s uploading his brain into that robot. There’s only about an hour left before it loads. After that, we’re outta here for good. The scavengers’ll be coming soon, so we havta get a move on sooner than later.” You said, an empty hollow feeling in your chest as you said the words ‘for good’.

It just felt so real.

“C’mon. Let’s see if your room has anything salvageable.” You grunted, leaving Donnie’s body behind.

Raph’s room had partially caved in, but the front of it still looked okay. His drum set sat undamaged in the corner, though you doubted there was room for it in the Shellraiser, so it was a moot point.

Raph stared vacantly at the place that had once mattered so much to him, without a single hint that he recognized any of it in his empty features. You wanted to hug him so bad. Maybe more for your own comfort than for his.

But then again, you needed the familiar hug of your best friend…not this vacant eyed empty shell of a turtle who didn’t recognize you.

“Oh hey look. That box says ‘photos’ on it.” Raph said lightly, pointing at a dusty shoebox that sat under the bed and breaking you out of your spiralling thoughts.

“It also says ‘do not touch’.” You pointed out.

“Yeah well, I think I’d want me to know what’s in my own ‘do not touch’ box.” Raph grunted, sounding like his old sarcastic self again for just a moment.

You held your hands up and stepped aside, and Raph scooped up the box.

He took off the lid, and picked up one of the photos. “...Who’s Venus?” He said, holding up a photo of a little turtle in a red bow with the label ‘Venus De Milo’.

You frowned, staring at the photo in confusion. Judging by the line drawn over the word ‘Venus’, Raph clearly had not wanted you to know about it, but the name didn’t ring any bells. “Actually, I don’t know. I’ve never met a Venus. Maybe you guys had some long lost sister that no one told me about?”

“Seriously? What kinda soap opera bullshit would that be?” Raph snorted.

“I mean. It wouldn’t be the first time.” You shrugged.

“...Wait, really?”

“S’okay, we’ll ask Donnie.” You said. “Now…I’m pretty sure you’d want me to save your sketchbook and paints. Your canvases too, but we don’t have room for that.”

He swallowed, flipping through the sketchbook you’d handed him, tracing over the doodles on the cover. “Fuck. I…I don’t remember any of these.” He murmured, not even bothering to wipe the tears from under his mask.

“And I…I can’t find Chompy.” You whispered, rifling around his room a final time. “Shit. Shit shit shit. M-maybe he ran away…” You trailed off, wiping your face with your torn-up shirtsleeve.

“Chompy?”

You looked away from him. “Chompy Picasso. Alien turtle. Your son, basically...and I-I can’t fucking find him anywhere. Hopefully he got out before we came here, otherwise…” You swallowed a sob.

Raph stared at you, looking sick. “I had a son? But aren’t we…teenagers?” He said, his voice devoid of the raging grief he would have felt before, and replaced with a look of discomfort and horror at being a stranger to his own life.

“An adoptive son, practically, yeah. And you…you loved him so, so much…He was so fucking cute…” You cried, your voice cracking. “Shit, Raph. You don’t remember Chompy…”

“Shit.” He agreed, staring at the ground.

***

Donnie was stable now, opening and closing his new metal hands.

“How’s Raph?” They said. Their voice had taken on a metallic ring, though it still sounded like Donnie at its core.

“Brain damage. He’s got brain damage.” You answered, glancing over to the far side of the lab where Raph sat, flipping through his box of photos.

“What?!”

“He doesn’t remember anything. That’s why he's keeping his distance. Said it feels weird.”

“Memory loss.” Donnie said, and the creaking breathy sounds that followed could only be described as crying although his new metal face remained neutral.

You held out your arms and Donnie fell into them, shaking and sobbing but not really. They were so small now, which felt wrong, because Donnie had always been close to your height if not taller.

Well, it didn’t matter. This was Donnie now, and that stranger in the corner staring at the photos was Raph, and that haggard looking human in the mirror was you.

Day 0 of the apocalypse and you were already all falling apart at the seams.

Nice.

***

Day 1.

Raph forgot his own name for a few hours, and Donnie panicked. He’d say to you later that it was nice to know his circuitry was still capable of having a panic attack, but his voice would be hollow. Well, more so than it was already with that robotic tremor to his voice.

But at the moment, you were sitting with your arms around a trembling Metalhead who was actually Donatello, and making uncomfortable eye contact with Raph who sat across from you on the floor of the Shellraiser.

His bright green eyes were narrowed in frustration, and his plastron rose and fell quicker than usual. He was probably hyperventilating.

You kept your distance. When you’d tried to comfort him earlier, he’d tried to shank you with a piece of glass he’d found on the ground. You didn’t hold it against him, really- he’d yelled “Who the hell are you?! Stay back!” first, so you at least knew it wasn’t out of malice.

And it also meant that he was more damaged than you and Donnie had originally thought.

Probably permanently, Donnie had said through gasping breaths before he realized he didn’t actually need air anymore.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry, Raph.” You found yourself saying, because you were. It may have stung having him try to hurt you, but what stung more was the look of pure fear and confusion in his face.

He broke eye contact with you and dropped his face onto his knee pads again, slumping over in shame and sorrow.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), Donatello.” He replied, voice slightly muffled by his legs, which were pulled to his chest.

“Don’t be.” You muttered. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t mean to.”

Donnie nodded. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should’ve treated you sooner, then you might’ve stood a chance-”

“Shut up Donatello. If you had done that then you woulda bled out and died and you are not allowed to fucking die on me, we clear?” You hissed, squeezing his metal shoulders.

“I did die, (Y/N).” Donnie said flatly, pointing at the bag that held their body.

“Shit.” You said, letting your gaze follow his finger as you let it finally sink in that yeah you were talking to Donnie, but also that was his fucking corpse in the back of the Shellraiser. “Shit shit shit. You’re still with us, but like…man this is fucked up, huh? You’re not dead, Don, you’re still you, but…”

“What if I’m not?! I’m a robot! Maybe the real Donatello is dead! What if I’m just a really good simulation?! What if I just think I’m panicking because it’s what Donatello would do?” He exclaimed, tugging on Metalhead’s antennae when he would usually tug on his mask tails.

“Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure human emotions are a physical chemical reaction too. So one could argue that I’m just freaking out because the chemicals in my brain are reacting rather than me actually feeling things, right?” You offered.

“...I guess…Look I think I'm gonna go into sleep mode now, okay? It’s been a long day.” They sighed.

“Yeah, okay. See ya tomorrow, Don. Love you.” You said, patting his shoulder.

“Ditto.” They said, and then the lights went out in their eyes.

Raph sighed, staring at his sibling. “It feels weird being taller than them for some reason.” He grunted, breaking the silence.

“Oh, you remember that?” You said hopefully.

“Nah. I guess it just….feels weird. I dunno.”

“Well…Yeah it really does. Donnie always towered over you and Leo. Mikey hit a growth spurt like two years ago and wound up almost as tall, and you nearly cried at that...” You rambled, smiling.

“Oh. That explains it, I guess.” Raph snorted. “Was I…taller than Leo? Just out of curiosity, of course…” He added, looking hopeful.

“Nah. Leo’s 5’2ish. You are 5’1.”

“...Fuck.” Raph cursed. “That is unfair, y’know that?”

“You complained about it often.” You smiled. “It was kinda adorable.”

“Adorable?” Raph said, wrinkling his snout.

“Yeah. Ha. I uh….called you that a lot, guess it’s kinda a habit. Not because you’re short but because I thought you were cute. Uh…by which I mean good-looking, not cute like a kitten or something.” You said with a shrug. “Not that it really matters.”

“Oh. That’s cool then, I guess.” Raph said with a slight smile.

You smiled. “So I can keep callin’ you adorable?”

“Sure. Knock yourself out.”

You glanced out the window of the Shellraiser. It was still too bright out to travel safely to Casey’s apartment, with too many angry mindless mutants destroying everything in sight. You and Donnie had agreed to wait till the cover of night to head over there, in hopes that the new mutants would retain their usual sleep schedule.

“Damn. How long’ll this take?” You mumbled. It was six in the evening, but still bright as ever outside…

A pink thing slammed into the front camera, sending you falling back in shock.

Upon further inspection, it appeared to be a once-human that had been nearly swallowed by brainy, vein-covered tendrils. You choked back a gag.

Raph swallowed and clicked the camera off, looking greener than usual as the image faded.

“Ugh. Gross.” You whispered.

“So I’m assuming that things weren’t alway like this, right?” Raph said softly.

“Nope. You, my friend, would much prefer the Old World…” You paused, having a realization. “Shit. I bet that if this were a transcript, ‘Old World’ would be fucking capitalized.”

“So….there’s no way to undo whatever happened?”

“Nah. Dee’s run the numbers. The odds of the Earth bouncing back from this…are in the negatives.” You said, unable to summon anything other than an empty sigh.

“...What was your Earth like?” Raph asked, raising his brow ridge as he stared at you gently, as if you were some sorta fragile ceramic that could break at any minute.

Or as if you were a tearful human who’s world had just turned upside down.

You heaved a sigh, and sat down next to him on the floor.

“Well…there were trees yesterday. Green trees, not those crystal lookin’ things in Central Park that we saw this morning. And yesterday, this was New York, and it was full of people, not…those brain mutants and animal hybrids and…fuckin’ masses of organs suspended in jello. I dunno how far reaching the mutation bomb was, but Dee’s scanners have picked up on stuff as far as Florida to the south and Quebec to the north, and that’s not even counting the ones that went off on the West Coast and outside of America. Whatever it was that terraformed the Earth did a fucking good job.” You sighed, pulling your knees to your chest.

“So the old world really is the Old World.” Raph breathed.

“Yup. I…I don’t think we’ll ever get our homes back, Raphael.” You whispered.

Yesterday morning when you’d said something like that, Raph had pulled you into a wordless hug and you’d pressed your face into his chest and cried.

This evening as you sat on the floor crying, Raph stared at you sadly but kept his distance.

And you were reminded once again that you really were alone.

***

You: Casey we’re headed over

You: Read ya messages case

You: Dude seriously, are you guys okay?

Sent: 4hrs ago, unread

You: We’re here…

Sent: 1hr ago, unread

***

“Case’? Casey?” You yelled, wandering through his apartment. “April…”

“April! Casey!” Donnie yelled even louder than you. His face couldn’t emote, but his voice was high and desperate, and you were pretty sure they were twice as nervous as you were.

“He hasn’t replied to any messages since like three pm, and we’ve searched this dump for like an hour. I don’t think your friends are here, guys.” Raph sighed, crossing his arms.

“Shut up!” You and Donnie chorused, and Raph rolled his eyes.

“Fine, whatever! We’ll just stay here forever then I guess!” He snapped.

“Yeah well maybe we’re not being big babies, Raph! Don’t you care about finding Casey?!”

“I don’t know who the fuck Casey is!” Raph growled.

Donnie deflated. “...You’re right. I…I’m sorry, Raph. I forgot that you’re…y’know.”

“Brain damaged? Nice. Can’t fucking relate.” Raph grunted.

You exhaled through your nose. “Sorry Rafa. We’re just…we really wanted this lead…” Shit you were crying again.

“It’s just…I miss them so much. Casey and April mattered a lot to us, and to you, and we thought they’d….we thought they’d be here, but we’ve lost their signal and now I don’t fucking know what to do…” You whimpered, burying your face into your scarf.

Donnie tried to pat you on the shoulder but only succeeded in reaching to the small of your back.

“I miss them too. Well Raph…Casey and April…well, they mattered a ton to me and it just…is so scary to consider that they might…”

They didn’t finish the sentence, but you knew what they meant.

That they might be dead.

Raph stared at both of you with a grimace, seeming to pick up on the meaning too.

***

Day 15.

Raph stared at the photos a lot, not recognizing any of them.

Sometimes he woke up on the floor of the subway car that you, his supposed ‘best friend’, and Donnie, the robot who claimed to be his brother, had dubbed the ‘Shellraiser’. He’d sit there trying to remember where he was, only for him to slowly remember waking up in rubble to a wide pair of (E/C) eyes.

That was always what he remembered first.

Then he’d remember the smell of smoke and something he didn’t have a name for, and the feeling of someone hugging him close to their chest and whispering “It’s okay it’s okay-shit- Dee, he’s not waking up, he’s not- Oh my god Donnie, your- your plastron-”

He’d opened his eyes a crack to see humans mutating, screaming in horror, before someone shifted his head, and then all he could see was fabric.

Then he was on an unfamiliar couch with someone squeezing his hand. “Donnie…that’s a thing that’s possible?”

“No, but do I have any other option?!”

“...Shit Dee, you- you can’t die on me-”

“I won’t. I swear I won’t, (Y/N). If my theories are concrete, which they have an-” The voice paused to take a laboured breath. “-an 86.3% chance of being, then my consciousness will- shit that hurts- my consciousness will be uploaded into Metalhead…”

Raph didn’t remember how that conversation had ended, which he was very okay with.

Then after that the other things would begin to come back. Right. Right, he was Raphael, and these two people used to matter a lot to him in the Before Times, supposedly.

He didn't remember either of you, if he was honest. But if the notes on his Past Self’s photos were trustworthy, then you especially meant the world to him once.

He held up a photo of you in different, cleaner clothes. Your eyes were brighter, and you were grinning harder than you ever had now. The note on the back read ‘Reference photo 4 drawing (Y/N)’ in a messy script with a heart drawn next to it. Below it, in smudged print, it said ‘I feel creepy for staring at this for so long… Shit why did I write that down?’

He frowned and looked at another. This one was of a purple-ish pink turtle that gave the camera a wide smile, and the notation on the back said ‘Chompy I love you so fucking much but stop burning my paper please’

The next photo wasn’t a photo but a drawing. It was a rough sketch of a human hugging a baby turtle that was drawn in pink, with soft shading and a lot of smudges. The back of this one said ‘Shitty drawing of (Y/N) and Chompy. Felt bad throwing it away though for some reason, idk’

Raph wrinkled his snout. He disagreed with his Past Self, he thought the drawing looked kinda cute. Still, he’d respect Past Raph’s wishes and hide it away in the ‘Don’t Touch Box’.

He looked at the next picture. Venus again.

There were a lot of photos in the Don’t Touch Box of this ‘Venus De Milo’, and Raph hadn’t gotten any closer to an answer as to who she was. Heck, there were a few photos where she was completely crossed out with no further commentary. Not that it made much of a difference though, since the commentary that was there was ridiculously unhelpful. ‘Took another one of Sensei’s Venus photos. I wish he’d just let me burn all of them, but instead he just gave me this box and told me to hide them here instead of destroying all our childhood photos. Ugh. I hate them so much, obviously you know why, future me.’

No, I do not. Why are you so cryptic, Past Me?! Raph clicked in frustration, throwing the Venus photos back into the box.

“Lookin’ at Sensei’s old photos, Raph?” Said Donnie, making Raph jump back in surprise.

“Dammit, you’re awake?!”

“Yeah, just finished…charging.” Donnie sighed. “That still feels so weird to say.”

“Well, you’ve only been like this for…what, a week? Two?” Raph said dryly.

“...Yeah. I miss being…tall.” Donnie said softly. Raph got the vibe that they’d actually meant something else, but he didn’t feel like unpacking that right now.

“I miss you being tall.” Raph agreed. “Maybe that’s a good sign as far as memory stuff goes though.”

“...Hey, maybe it is, Raph! That’s actually really good!” Donnie said, their voice perking up while their face remained uncannily blank.

“...Cool.” Raph said. “...Hey, Donnie, who was Venus?”

Donnie jolted. “-Oh. Right. You found those pictures… I actually forgot about- well. Venus… You’re a transman, Raph, and Venus was your name back before you realized you were a boy.”

Raph frowned. “I’m a…what?”

“Well…when we were kids, Splinter named you Venus De Milo because you were physically a girl. Then when we were like thirteen or fourteen you told us that you actually were our brother, not our sister, so Sensei changed your name to Raphael.” Donnie said slowly.

Raph…did not like that information at all. “So…I’m not a boy?”

“No you are, it just took a bit of time for you to realize it.” Donnie shrugged.

“Good. I…do not like the name Venus.” Raph grunted.

“Yeah, when we were little you used to make us call you ‘Milo’ instead.” Donnie chuckled. “Splinter was so confused, but he just wanted you to be happy at the end of the day, really…”

Raph swallowed. “Uhh…Donatello, who’s…Splinter?”

Donnie’s neck sparked. “Right. Right right right…Raph, Splinter was our dad.”

“Oh.” He should know that. What kinda person didn’t even recognize their own father?!

Why couldn’t he remember the things that made Past Raph so happy?

Well he didn’t even remember that he was a fucking girl, so clearly he wasn’t the best judge-

“G’mornin’ guys” You yawned, leaning over the passenger’s seat where Raph had perched.

Raph shook his head clear and looked back at you. “Hi.”

“How’s the new body coming, Don?” You asked, stretching your arms.

“I’m almost done with the shell. I’ve made it segmented this time so that I can actually bend over, see?” They said, bending the large shell made of sewer plates.

“Oh. That’s really rad, Dee.” You said proudly.

“Yeah, I’m sick of being shorter than Raph.” He chuckled. “I can't wait to finish this model.”

“Wait, you’re making a new new body?” Raph frowned. “Did I know about that?”

“Yeah, I told you yesterday, you must have forgotten... S’okay though. Here’s the design, I made these blueprints months ago.”

“How come? What’s wrong with this robot?” Raph said, glancing over the taller, sleeker design sketch Donnie had handed him.

Donnie shrugged. “I guess…this is Metalhead’s body, not mine. And I want my body to feel like mine.” “Oh. Okay, fair enough I guess?” Raph shrugged, not sure how that made sense. Donnie was in the body, so that made it his right? Why’d they need a new one?

Whatever, Donnie could do what they wanted, he supposed.

“I think it looks great.” You smiled, though it didn’t reach your eyes the way it did in the Don’t Touch Box photos. “I love the purple LEDs.”

“Yeah, it looks nice.” Raph agreed. It really did; it was cleaner than Donnie’s current body, and seemingly more combat-effective if all the hidden blasters in the concept art were any clue. Plus it just looked cool as fuck.

“Thanks. It should be finished in a few weeks…in the meantime though, (Y/N), we should discuss plans.”

You nodded, following Donnie to the back of the Shellraiser.

“We should go on a supply run, we’re low on perishable food and water.” You said, writing ‘supply run’ on the whiteboard Donnie had set up in the back.

“Okay, noted. Do we have enough non-perishables?”

“Yeah. The drawers in the back are full of instant ramen and canned food.” You nodded.

“So just the usual things then…shelter. What’re we gonna do about shelter?”

“Yeah, I don’t really like it out here. Seems pretty sketchy.” Raph grunted, spinning around so that his plastron was pressed to the back of the chair and his head was rested on the top.

“I vote we go to the farmhouse. You’ve run your scans, and I think we just needa….you know, accept that everyone is…out of range of the scanners. We’re just sitting ducks in New York, Don.” You sighed.

Donnie clenched their fists. “I- I know, but like…what if they come back for us and we’re not here, (Y/N)? What if by leaving we forfeit our chances of finding Casey, April, Mikey, and Leo?”

“Well what if we do? Who cares?” Raph argued. “They either left or they’re dead, Donatello! We should leave too if we wanna not be dead!”

“Yeah well what do you know?! You don’t even know the extent of the damage!”

“Yeah I do. Explode-y bomb things from here to the other side of the planet. Earth getting terraformed in some twisted reflection of the world you knew before. Humans turning into horrifying brainless monsters, and humans that turn into horrified monstrous mutants, and humans like (Y/N) who survived with trauma and dead friends. And friends that lose their memories. Yadayada, all that shit.” Raph said through gritted teeth. “Plus, I saw you guys fighting off those mutants in the last supply run, you barely escaped with your fucking tail attached. Long story short, I vote we get outta here as soon as possible.”

You and Donnie looked at each other, blinking.

“I vote what he votes.” You supplied.

Donnie sighed. “You always did…fine. Fine, guys. You win. But can we please just stay for one more night?”

You shrugged. “Yeah, I think that seems fair. Raph?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Deal. We havta go on that supply run, anyways, so.”

“Cool cool. So…farmhouse then, Dee?” You said hesitantly, as if you were afraid of hurting Donnie.

Donnie just grunted. “I’m gonna go into sleep mode. You guys handle the supply run, I have to do some repairs from last time.”

“Well that wasn’t really an answer.” You said flatly as Donnie’s lights went out again.

“...No it was not.” Raph sighed.

***

“D’ya think I can pull off steel-toed boots?” You grinned, rapping your knuckles on the metal capped toes of a pair of leather combat boots.

“Well…it seems efficient, so yeah, why not.” Raph shrugged.

“Yeah, but would it look rad?” You pressed.

Raph nodded. “It would look badass.”

“Now that’s the answer I was lookin’ for.” You beamed, pulling on the boots.

“Do you think I’d look cool in that jacket?” Raph asked, reaching for an aviator jacket. It was useful, from a practical standpoint, with tons of pockets and the ability to hold in warmth, but he didn’t really want it if it didn’t make him look like the characters on the covers of the comics he’d managed to salvage.

“Raphael, you would look so cool in that jacket. You need it.” You nodded emphatically. “All we’d needa do is cut a hole for your shell.”

“...Oh yeah. Forgot about that part.” Raph sighed, wrinkling his snout in disdain. His shell was kinda inconvenient. But then again, it did function as a fantastic natural armor, so pros and cons. He tossed the jacket into the hijacked cart anyways.

You grabbed a tent from the shelf. “I think this’ll probably be useful down the line right?”

“Well…it’s free, so might as well.”

“Ooh, lookit this lifestraw!”

“What the hell is a lifestraw?”

“It filters water. Turns even the most contaminated junk into safely drinkable water. I’m surprised there’s even one left, this is gonna save our shells.”

“You don’t have a shell, (Y/N).”

“I’ve spent the past three years of my life surrounded almost entirely by people who do. Your jargon has worn off on me.”

“What the hell is jargon?”

“Your turtle-specific manner of speaking. Like swapping normal words for ‘shell’.”

“Shit, we did that?”

“Yeah. It was charming.”

***

“(Y/N), what’s ‘feminine hygiene’?” Raph frowned, peering down an aisle.

You glanced up, following his gaze. “Uh…y’know, girl stuff, don’t worry about it.”

“Donnie said I’m a ‘transman’, so maybe I should.” Raph mumbled, feeling ill at the thought.

You did a double take. “Wait what? Oh-kay, cool cool. Maybe you do need to worry about it.”

Raph grunted and crossed his arms. “I dunno why, but I get a very odd, very uncomfortable feeling when you say that.”

You swallowed, obvious nervousness in your eyes. “Well…that is fair. Raphael…allow me to remind you about the world of…feminine hygiene. Damn. I’m having to give my boyfriend- uh- my best friend- ‘the talk’, this feels weird!” You laughed. “Uh…so how do I put this. Once a month people with feminine body parts…bleed uncontrollably and you havta fix it with the stuff in this aisle! …Yayyyy!”

Raph suddenly got a very vivid memory of sitting on the couch of the lair with a hot pack on his plastron and an angry feeling in his head.

Shit, why was one of the few memories he had of the Old World one where he was bleeding in places he didn’t want to be?!

He groaned and facepalmed. “This is shit, you know that? My life is shit.”

“Periods ain’t fun.” You nodded. “I dunno if you turtles are affected the same way as humans though, so I could be totally wrong-”

“No, no, I remember now. It’s the same. Basically.” Raph said, blushing bright red and glaring at the ground. “Aaand I’m calling it on that conversation.” He finished.

You nodded. “I’ll allow it. Lemme know if you need any help figuring out what supplies you need-”

“-nO I’m good!” Raph exclaimed. “How about you just get- get some other supplies right now?!” He grinned, trying to mask the discomfort that rose the longer he stood in this stupid aisle.

You nodded. “Whatever makes you feel comfortable. I’ll be in the next aisle over, the first aid section, ‘kay?”

“Great.” Raph replied.

It was only after you’d left that he noticed that you’d called him your ‘boyfriend’ for a second there.

Well. Well that was an interesting development.

Raph hated not having his memories. He was 99% positive that Past Raph would know exactly what you meant by that, but presently? Raph was just so, so confused.

Maybe he had been your boyfriend in the Old World. If the photos counted for anything, Past Raph had probably liked you at some point- you showed up more often than anyone else, both in the photos and in his sketchbook. And he hadn’t even finished digging through them yet.

And now instead of having good ol’ Past Raph to comfort you, you got this Raph. The Raph who had forgotten his own name a few days ago, the Raph who didn’t really know what to do when you cried, the Raph who was so sick of not knowing…

Heck, he was pretty sure you had been avoiding touching him, which felt just as weird as being taller than Donnie. Even in the photos, you always seemed to have an arm around him or a hand in his, but now you were careful not to stray within a few feet of him. As if he was some kinda ticking time bomb.

Then again, he kinda was, huh? The last time you’d come near him, he’d tried to stab you in a panic. Maybe you were right to steer clear of him, though the thought of that just made him sad for some reason.

He paused and blinked at a mirror that sat at the end of the aisle.

Huh. That really was what he looked like, all green skin and torn mask tails and neon eyes.

He looked tired.

“Hey Rafa, lookit what I found!” You yelled, and Raph tore himself away from his reflection, dropping his armful of…feminine hygiene products into the cart before following your voice to the paint section.

“Look dude! Spray paint!” You grinned, bouncing on your feet.

Raph stared at you blankly, trying to understand your excitement. “Uh…did we…uhm…”

An image flashed through his head of holding a can of spray paint and stepping back to look at a mural.

“...OH! Oh right! I used to like spray painting!” He exclaimed, pleased at the memory. “(Y/N) I remember it!”

Your eyes widened. “You remember?! Oh Raph this is huge!”

“...What d’ya say to painting a final mural before we leave the city, for….I dunno, old time’s sake?” Raph said with a hesitant smile.

“Hell yeah!” You beamed, grabbing as many colors of spray paint as you could and dropping them into the cart. “Dee is in sleep mode so he can’t even stop us!”

“Yes, I can.”

You fell back and dropped your phone. Raph’s fists flew into a fighting stance, observing the phone nervously.

“Sorry ‘bout the scare guys.” Donnie’s voice chuckled, not sounding even slightly sorry. “I just discovered that I can access you through your phones! I’ll be back in sleep mode soon, I just thought that was a perfect time to test the audio feature.”

“Wait, you can hear our conversations?” You frowned.

“Uh….surprise?” Donnie said sheepishly. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t plan on stopping you from spray painting. It actually seems like it could both help Raph’s memory since it’s so familiar, as well as being just…a nice gesture. My one suggestion is that you add some way for Leo, Mikey, Casey, and April to find us, like a coded key to our whereabouts.”

“Oh. That’s smart.” You said. “But can we get back to how you’ve been eavesdropping this whole time Donald?!”

“Lalala, going into sleep mode, can’t hear you, lalala…” Donnie said, ever the terrible liar, and disconnected a second later.

“That little shit.” You said fondly. “If you’re still listening, I love you, Don, but you’re a total jerk.”

Raph shook his head, feeling the beginnings of a smile on his face. “If you’re still listening, then quit listening, Donatello.”

But no reply came from the phone, so you shrugged. “Guess he actually is back in sleep mode. C’mon, let’s paint a mural.”

***

Raph glared at the wall.

The spray paint had gathered into a messy blob of color that did not look like a mural.

The paint bottle felt natural in his hand, yeah, and his lines were steady, but they weren’t coming out right. He scowled and tried to cover the blob with a cloud of red, but then it didn’t look like a cloud, it just looked like blood.

“AUGUHH!” He yelled in frustration, kicking the wall. He jumped back to hold his foot, which was now throbbing in pain. Shit, why was that his instinct?!

“You good Raph?” You said, looking over from your side of the wall. Your mural looked nice, with a painting of two turtles, a skeleton, and a red haired girl with eyes that seemed to glow. They were all outlined in thick black and colored in vibrant shades, which made them pop against the gray wall.

“Fine…” He grumbled, rubbing his foot. “I just- I can’t draw or something.”

You followed his glare toward his bloody smear of a painting.

“Oh…did you…”

“Forget? Yeah. I fucking forgot how to draw.” He said with a humorless laugh.

“Do you…want a crash course? We’ve still got an hour or so before we have to head out…” You offered.

He shook his head. “No…we don’t have time. …Did you add the message?”

You nodded, still staring at him sympathetically. “I wrote ‘guys, find us in the healing place- Red, Purple, and (L/N)’. They’ll know what I mean.”

“The ‘healing place’?” Raph repeated.

“The farmhouse.” You elaborated. “We went there back when the kraang invaded three years ago. Leo was in a coma for like three months, and y’know…healed. And I think we all kinda healed too. You were kinda the team leader for a bit there…” You trailed off, eyes glazing over as if you were reminiscing about something Raph undoubtedly wouldn’t understand. You shook your head clear. “...but you know, I think they’ll get it. More importantly, I don’t think anyone else will, so we can’t be followed. Not that we have any reason to be followed, I’m just paranoid.”

“Aren’t we like…ninjas with like a million enemies or whatever?”

You snorted. “Kinda, yeah.”

“...So the idea that we might be followed doesn’t seem that outlandish, right?” Raph ventured.

“Hm. Thanks for justifying my paranoia, Raphael!” You exclaimed, not looking any happier.

“...Uh…I’m gonna say you’re welcome, but I get the funny feeling that you don’t actually mean that, huh?” He said sheepishly,

“No, I…I dunno.” You said with a humorless laugh. “I’m being weird.”

“It’s literally the end of your world. You should be acting weird, right?” Raph snorted.

You smiled half-heartedly. “Ya think?”

“Donnie’s acting weird, I’m acting weird. You can act weird too.” He said matter-of-factly.

You sighed. “But that’s just the thing. Donnie lost their body. You lost your past. What the hell did I lose? …You know, aside from my friends…and family…and my old life…but you guys lost that too!”

“I really didn’t. You can’t miss what you don't remember, right?” Raph said with a hollow laugh. “I have no Old World. No old connections. The world we’re in now is basically all I’ve ever known, so if anything, I’ve lost…the least.”

You stared at him, a discomforting sense of horror in your eyes. You raised your hands as if to set them on his shoulders, but then lowered them instead.

“Raph…Fuck. No! You’ve lost everything! Like, way more than I have! At least I still have good memories to go back to, o-of you, of Chompy, of Leo and Casey and Mikey and April…of Mona, Raph, I still have memories of Mona, and you don’t even have that…” You wiped your eyes with your scarf and shook your head. “Shit, man. We’re all going through hell, I shouldn’t bother comparing it.”

“Yeah….yeah. That’s a good way of lookin’ at it.” Raph sighed.

“...Who's Mona?” He asked lightly, after a beat of silence.

You smiled slightly. “Mona Lisa? She’s this really awesome Salamandrian who we met in space.”

“We went to space?!” Raph said, eyes widening.

“Yup. It was very convoluted… Anyways, we both had this ridiculous crush on her…she was so cool. She could beat us at fighting easily, but she also was so sweet…ahhh, what a woman.” You said, perking up a bit more. “Anyways, at least she’s safe…She’s in space.”

“What else have you guys not told me about my life?!” Raph exclaimed.

“I promise I’ll tell you everything once life has calmed down a bit, but there is some stuff that I genuinely believe is too much for you right now.” You shrugged.

“Well it’s my memories, so I don’t think that’s for you to decide.” Raph frowned.

You opened your mouth, glaring at him, before deflating. “...I…you’re right. It is your memories, Raph. You do deserve the truth. But the truth isn’t always easy or fun or any of that so can we make a compromise?”

He gestured for you to go ahead.

You squeezed your hands. “I’ll tell you what you need to know, and if you figure stuff out on your own- which is highly likely- I’ll give ya more details. Deal?” You held out your hand.

Raph sighed. This was probably the best he was gonna get from you.

…Also…what was with the hand?

Raph frowned, staring at your hand, and took it awkwardly. “Deal?”

You blinked.

He blinked.

“Raph why are you still holding my hand?” You coughed.

“Oh, was I supposed to-”

“-Let go, yeah, this is a handshake.”

“-Weird. You guys are weird.”

“You still haven’t let go?” You said, but you were smiling.

Would it be weird if he said he kinda didn’t wanna? Holding your hand felt nice…

“Uh- right.” He grunted, wrenching his hand out of yours.

***

Day 16.

“Well, I think we’re all set to go upstate.” Donnie said as he finished checking over the items Raph and you had taken.

“Cool.” You said softly.

You’d talked about going upstate for the past two weeks, but as Donnie closed the power-cell powered freezer box, it finally hit you that you were leaving.

Like leaving leaving.

It wasn’t like there was much of a choice. New York was dangerous, more now than before. You and Raph had even wound up in a mild tussle as you made your way back to the Shellraiser last night.

There were too many scared humans and animals that had gained sentience and horrifying mindless creatures that looked like body-horror inspired abominations to go anywhere without a fight. And frankly, none of you wanted to deal with that.

And it didn’t help that Donnie’s sensors weren’t picking up on any habitable land in the general radius. You were sure he wasn’t telling you everything, but he had mumbled something about the soil being full of toxic chemicals and unable to maintain life among…other things.

Essentially, New York City was dying. But maybe if you were all lucky, the farmhouse would be habitable.

By which you meant…with good soil. It’d be really really nice if you guys could just…plant seeds for food and hang out there for the rest of eternity. Nice, but unlikely, if you were realistic. Still. It was a spot of hope.

Raphael stared at you mournfully as you and Donnie finished preparing the Shellraiser. He did that a lot now, and it always stung about the same- he wanted to remember you, but to him, you were a stranger.

You hated feeling like a stranger around the person who’d been closer to you than anyone ever back in the Before Times.

Not that you’d told him much. You thought there was kinda a power imbalance now, since you knew so much about Raph and he now knew so little about you. He was vulnerable, and you, being one of the ones who had saved him, had a bit more sway over him than you felt comfortable with.

He was catching onto you though, you could see that. He’d understandably demanded answers last night, and although you’d agreed to his terms, you were dreading it. Because how could you tell him that he had been your boyfriend if he didn’t even know who you were? Worse, would he feel like he had to immediately go back to that just to make you feel better?

You’d described your relationship to him as ‘best friend’, which was more accurate, honestly, considering both you and Raph had been a bit odd around romance, but still. It would probably be more to take in than he could handle right now…

“So. We ready to get this tin can on the road?” You said finally, leaning over Donnie’s shoulder as they stepped away from the newly pumped tires.

“...I believe so.” Donnie said proudly, patting the side of the car.

And with that, you gave New York City one final good-bye.

“Seeya, New York…you were one hell of a town to live in. We….had a lotta fun here.” You said, leaning against the Shellraiser to stare at the cityscape.

“Goodbye pigeons and manholes and starless skies. I-I’ll miss you.” Donnie said fondly, leaning next to you.

“And I’ll miss pizza gyoza, my fire escape- heck, I’ll even miss Shredder’s lair and TCRI.” You grinned.

“What a town.” Donnie said, nodding.

"Hey guys, this is real sweet, but it’s getting dark.” Raph grunted, poking his head out the door. “Let’s get this freakshow on the road.”

“...Okay.” You said with a rueful smile.

“...Yeah, we’re coming.” Donnie sighed, and the two of you headed into the Shellraiser.

***

By the time the sun had set, you had left the city.

Raph sat in the passenger seat, eating dry pasta like a heathen, and Donnie sat in the roof hatch running his scanners. You weren’t exactly expecting that he’d find anything positive though.

As you silently drove up the road, you took note of a few things- first off, there were trees out here, at least. Dead trees, but still trees rather than alien shapes that had loomed over you in New York, which was some relief.

Secondly…there was no sign of life. The only noise you had heard since leaving New York was the quiet hum of the Shellraiser’s engine, punctuated by Raphael’s crunching on his fucking dry pasta. (Seriously, that stuff could not be good for his digestive system…)

Thirdly…your hopes of finding an oasis in all of this were running as dry as the land around you.

New York was dead, and Earth wasn’t following too far behind it.

Donnie clambored back down from the top lookout with a heavy sigh.

“So Doc, what’s the diagnosis?” You said dryly, no bothering to turn around. “Lemme guess- we’re doomed?”

“Well, my sensors have picked up nothing but toxic chemicals and mutagen. There's no living organic plant forms for miles. I’m not picking up on the signatures of Casey, April, Leo, Mikey, Karai, the Mutanimals, or the (L/N)s. I don’t think the Earth will ever heal from this, and our tech has been basically thrown back to the dark ages.” He paused to heave an even more dramatic sigh, before saying “So does that answer your question?” cheerfully.

You whistled. “Ouch. So we are doomed.”

Raph crunched on his pasta and glanced up. “Great. That’s….real great.”

“Raph, are you eating straight up uncooked tortellini?!” Donnie said, gagging.

Raph smirked and crunched louder, and you cringed at the sound.

“Ugh, must you do that?”

“It tastes good.” He said innocently.

“Well don’t come to me for help when you get a stomachache.” Donnie said, disgusted.

You snorted, and refocused on the road as Donnie continued to complain about Raph’s apoca-licious eating habits.

Because hey. Maybe you were just headed towards certain doom upstate. Maybe Raph would never remember the past. Maybe the fucking planet was mutated beyond recognition…But hey.

At least you were with your best friends.

Heck, if you ignored the metallic tremor in Donnie’s voice and made Raph’s ever so slightly gentler, you could pretend that this was just another peaceful road trip. Just another night of smiling at Dee and Rafa’s antics, of choosing to unsubtly egg them on, of talking till morning with Raph about shit like life and the future and insecurities, comforting each other in that sweet way the two of you always had.

Yeah, yeah. You’d pretend it was a night like that.

And for a bit, you’re nearly convinced that when you woke up tomorrow, everything would be alright.

***

Day 17.

Everything was not entirely alright.

The farmhouse was devoid of people, and was shrouded in suspiciously pink clouds that hung lower than clouds usually did. Donnie scanned the air though and only got the usual amount of toxic chemicals, so you guys reluctantly decided it was safe.

“Woah, looks like this place already got picked clean.” You winced, glancing around the main room. It was mostly empty- everything from the furniture to the photos on the wall had been taken.

The stairs however, had caved in, but with the help of your grappling hook, you made your way to the top without too much effort.

The top of the house, by comparison, was full of the homey clutter that you had grown to expect from the healing place. Just being there, surrounded by everyone’s old things and the memories around them, made you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Anything up there?” Donnie said from the ground level.

You smiled, breathing in the air of the place you’d briefly called home. “Everything, Don. Case’s spare eyeliner pens, Leo’s matcha powder, Raph’s forgotten sketchbooks and acrylics…everything.”

With a bit of effort due to Metalhead’s heavy clunky body, Donnie managed to heave themself upstairs too.

“Woah. Weird being back here.” He said, and you got the impression that he’d be smiling if they could.

“How’re ya doin’ down there, Raph?” You said, leaning over the stair rail to see him staring into the living room.

“I…we watched a dumb cartoon there, right? Uh…Chris Bradford the…Barbarian?” He breathed, as if speaking any louder would shatter his ability to remember.

You and Donnie glanced at each other, swapping a pair of grins. Well, metaphorically, in Dee’s case.

“Yeah. Crognard the Barbarian…” You smiled. “But we did watch another show about Chris Bradford!”

“Awesome, Raph!” Donnie said, pumping their fist.

“...Cool.” He said softly, putting his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “So…this is the safehouse, then?”

“Well, ‘safe’ is a strong word…there’s a heck of a lot of danger we got into here last time.” You said, sliding down the stair banister.

“Out here in the middle of nowhere?” Raph snorted, turning towards you. “How the hell was this dangerous?”

“You got mutated into a plant once,” Donnie supplied.

“Ooh, Bigfoot tried to marry Don,” You grinned.

“Who’s bigfoot?”

“This forest cryptid who had a crush on Donnie.” You said with a chuckle.

“(Y/N), please know that I would be rolling my eyes at you right now if I still had them.” Donnie sighed.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” You said, giving them a mock-salute.

Raph entered the dining room. “Did anything terrifying happen here?” He said curiously.

“Hm…Oh yeah. We fought off mutant frogs.” You said, nodding at the memory. “They were all named after conquerors and they hated humans. …One of them talked like Napoleon Dynamite….not that you’d know that reference…”

“Ha, what?” Raph chuckled. “Our lives sound weird. What other things did we do?”

“Oh they very much were.” You nodded. “Let’s see…what other shit did we do? Uhm…there was this one time when you got your brain swapped with a kraang, that one was weird.”

“What exactly is a kraang? You’ve mentioned them before, but…”

“Oh, right. A kraang looks like- well, here.” You pulled up a photo of a snarling kraang that you’d taken a selfie with. “Voila.”

“Eww.” Raph cringed. “Why is it like…all goopy and gross?”

“Evolution, I guess.” You said, wrinkling your nose. “Gnarly, right?”

“So you’re tellin’ me I got my brain swapped with that thing?!” Raph said incredulously.

“Yup. It was pretty freaky seeing your body completely…not-like-you, but hey, we figured it out.” You chuckled.

“Hey Raph, you might wanna see this!” Donnie said, yelling over the stair rail.

“Uh, okay…” Raph frowned, heading towards the rope you’d hung over the caved-in stairwell. You followed after him.

“See, lookit this-”

“Hey, this- this is my room!” Raph exclaimed, shoving past Donnie and into the room. “I- I remember this place! I remember sitting there,” He said, pointing at the bed, “And coming this way-” He spun out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom- “And-....oh.” He frowned, opening the bathroom door. “I…I get the weird feeling that somethin’....happened here, huh?” He said softly.

You winced, reaching to put a hand on his shoulder, before thinking better of it. “Yeah. This is where Leo…was in his coma.”

“...You sat with him every day, Raph, ‘till he healed.” Donnie said gently.

Raph nodded. “Ha. I…ah…don’t remember that.”

“Well, you did remember your room, and a piece of your old daily routine, so I’d say this is a win! Robo-high-three!” Donnie said cheerfully, holding up their hand.

Raph wrinkled his snout “Uh…okay…” He held up his own hand, mirroring theirs, staring at them with an awkward shrug. “Hello, three? Uh…satisfied?”

Donnie lowered his hand. “...I shoulda seen that one coming.”

Raph rolled his eyes, shoving his hand back into his pocket. “Whatever, Don. What was it you called me up here for, anyways?”

“Your old sketchbook! I know you have the one from the lair, but this one is full of all the stuff you did here!” Donnie said excitedly, handing Raph the book.

Raph shrugged and accepted it, flipping through the pages. “Woah. These are pretty nice.” He said, starting to smile a bit.

“Ooh, can I see?” You asked hopefully.

“Sure.” Raph nodded, angling the book so you could see the art too.

This page was full of the planning-stage-sketches for what you recognized to be the painting he’d done on the party van.

“Oh dude, these rock.” You grinned.

“Yeah…I just hope I’ll be able to…y’know.” He clenched his hand, giving it a sad stare. “Do them again someday.”

***

Day 20.

“Well ladies and gentlefolk, turtles and others, I have gathered you all here today to present…The Donbot V.1!” Said Donnie, staring into the mirror.

It was a pretty nice design, if they did say so themself. It was taller than Metalhead’s model had been, standing at his usual height of 5 '6-to-5' 8-ish, and was made of a dark green steel he had salvaged back in the city. In a burst of inspiration, they had added purple accent lights.

For the first time in days, they didn’t feel so wrong about looking into the mirror. The face that stared back at him wasn’t his, really, but it was…closer. The blank face felt somehow more comfortable than Metalhead’s imitation-turtle one.

They shook their head, chuckling to themself slightly. If only he were presenting his invention to a crowd of scientifically minded peers instead of to his friend and his brother. Then he might prepare something flashy and exciting, presentation-wise.

But alas, it was the end of the world.

So instead, he simply glanced at themself one more time before leaving the bathroom, revealing his new body without any fanfare.

You patted his shell and said they looked ‘rad as hell’. Raph shot him a wary look, but it went away fast, and soon enough Raph was congratulating him too- albeit, with a bit of mild confusion.

Ironically, the brother that would have once understood better than anyone what it feels like to be in a body you don’t want….just happened to be the brother who had recently forgotten that he usually had dysphoria.

Donnie supposed that in a post apocalyptic world where gender was so irrelevant that Raph hadn’t even realized he was trans, it wouldn’t even occur to Raph to be dysphoric. (Hm. Maybe the end of the world had its good sides!)

But secretly, selfishly, a twisted part of Donnie wished that Raph was still in the state of mind to relate to them. It was unfair, and a cruel thing to wish on his brother. Logically, Donnie knew that. But maybe a part of them wanted to just…feel a little bit more understood. Less like an alien.

It wasn’t like he didn’t notice the way you and Raph flinched when he entered the room, looking at them like he was some- some thing. Some freak. Maybe a cruel voice in the pits of his now-wire-filled stomach whispered things about how much he wished Raph remembered how it felt, how much a part of him wished you had been mutated in the explosion so someone, anyone would understand the soul-crushing loneliness of not being in the right body-

Shit. That was dark. Maybe he was losing more of his humanity than he’d initially theorized-

Donnie swallowed their thoughts and opened the fridge, only to close it again upon remembering that he was physically incapable of eating,

***

Day 21.

“AAAAUGHH!” Raph screamed, dropping to his knees on the dead grass. He threw his arms around his stomach- something in his guts felt like something had crawled in there and died and oh shit was this that girl thing?

“Raph! Are you okay?!” Said Donnie, dropping his bo staff and rushing over.

“Ow- ow- shit- Donatello, I-I gotta take a -oh- a -ow- a break from practicin’.” Raph grunted, using Donnie’s arm to pull himself up.

Time to go fucking deal with this now, he supposed. Just what his stupid life needed right now.

***

Day 24.

“AAAAIIIEEE!” Raph screeched, chucking the stupid fucking salad prongs across the room.

“Raph! Dude!” You snapped. “Look, I know you’re frustrated but ya can’t expect to get it right the first time!”

“Well it’s NOT my first time using sais, is it? Aren’t I supposed to have some kinda muscle memory or whatever?!” He snapped back.

“Raph, bud, bear with me- you lost your memory, hon’.” You sighed. “You gotta be patient with yourself.”

“Maybe my self needs to hurry up already.” Raph said, crossing his arms.

See, it would be one thing if he’d entirely forgotten how to use his sais. But the thing was- he did remember. He remembered the feeling of their leather, he remembered spinning them and smirking at himself in the bathroom mirror, he remembered holding them in his fists and destroying things and how satisfying it was- but he couldn’t do those things anymore.

It was just as fucking pointless to try as drawing had been.

Shit, there were tears in his eyes.

“You okay, Rafa?” You said gently, doing that annoying thing you did where you reached for him. He always let himself hope that you would actually follow through with it this time…he wasn’t sure why, exactly, but it always felt like a stab to his metaphorical heart everytime you lowered your hand instead of patting him on the shoulder or squeezing his hand or giving him a hug or anything oh good lord he’d take anything- You lowered your hand again, and yet again he felt something shatter in his chest. (Why did he still bother to hope? He’d just thrown his sais in anger. Of course you were nervous around him.)

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever, (Y/N). I’m fine.”

“...Okay…well…I’m here to talk if you need me, y’know?” You said, smiling softly.

“I don’t wanna talk.” He grumbled. I want a hug, I want warmth, I want someone to say everything is gonna be okay-

You nodded, staring at him sadly. “...Okay.”

You left the makeshift dojo, leaving him alone with the blank walls of what had once been a living room.

Raph wiped his eyes and glared at your retreating figure, half-aware that his anger was misplaced. It wasn’t like you’d done anything other than be understanding and supportive…but still.

***

Day 25.

“BACK OFF!” Raph yelled, glaring at the robot.

“Raph, it’s okay, it’s me, your brother! Donatello!”

Raph had brothers?

…No, that didn’t sound right- this robot was probably here to hurt him- a vague memory of fighting a similar robot flashed through his mind, reaffirming his certainty that this thing was bad and dangerous and wanted to hurt him-

He bit back a whimper as the robot got closer, instead snarling as viciously as he could. “Get away from me ya fucking toaster.”

The robot stepped back.

Huh. The…robot stepped back…?

The robot in his memory shifted into a turtle with a worried look on his face and a gap in their teeth and a purple mask.

Donatello.

Oh…right. This was Donatello. His brother. He was at the farmhouse with you and Donatello….Donatello who was a robot now.

“Shit.” Raph mumbled, staring at the robot that was Donatello. “I…I did it again, huh?”

“RAPH! DEE! Jeez, are you guys okay?! I heard yellin’ and-'' You said, slamming the door open. The kitchen door. Raph was in the kitchen. The farmhouse kitchen.

“Just…another incident. Don’t worry about it.” Raph muttered sullenly, wiping the spit off his mouth that he must’ve gotten from all the animalistic hissing.

“Ah.” You said. “Are you both…okay then?”

Donnie nodded wordlessly, ducking out of the room with his head down and shoulders slumped.

Raph scowled, hugging his knees to his chest. “Same as I usually am, I guess.”

“So…not great?” You frowned.

“Not great.” He confirmed.

“Ah.” You leaned forwards hesitantly, hand outstretched.

This time Raph didn’t even flinch when you inevitably lowered it and followed Donatello out of the room. He just shoved his face into his kneepads and tried really hard not to cry.

***

Donnie slipped outside, staring out at the wasteland that used to be a forest.

Raph had forgotten him again.

Honestly, they didn’t know why it hurt so much. It wasn’t the first or even the second or third time Raph had forgotten him…but Raph went into the feral mode around Donnie way more than he did around you.

And logically, Donnie knew exactly why that was. You looked the same as you always did, albeit more battered and less smiley, while he, Donnie, looked entirely different. He was entirely different.

His sensors picked you up behind him on the porch.

“Hey.” They said glumly.

“Hey Dee.” You said, sitting on the porch steps next to him.

“I don’t think the world will ever heal again, (Y/N).” Donnie said softly.

Your eyes grew glossy (although maybe they already had been), and you looked away from them. “...I know.”

“I miss everyone so much.” He whispered.

“Me too.”

“Casey and I first became friends in that barn…April kissed me by the stump…” He said, trailing off. He put a hand on his face, remembering where Casey had first kissed him. That had also been at the farmhouse…

God, they missed Casey and April.

You nodded. “Me and Raph once buried a dead turtle over there…it used to be the prettiest part of the yard.” You said bitterly, pointing towards the spot where the pond had been just a month ago. Now it was reduced to another patch of dry, dying grass.

“So it was a turtle? I thought you guys killed someone.” Donnie said, only half joking- They remembered vaguely how he’d walked in on Leo lecturing a guilty-looking you and Raph on ‘honorability’ one morning. They’d glanced outside to see a suspicious grave outside that hadn’t been there the night before, and put two and two together…nice to know that it was just an unmutated turtle.

“Yeah…Raph thought it was like, a blow to his masculinity or something to tell you guys that he cared about animals.” You said with a snort.

“Well that’s stupid, we all know he loved animals. He was like a Disney princess around them.” Donnie said, shaking their head.

“Yeah…very true.” You smiled.

“What do you plan on doing about your whole….thing with Raph, anyways?” They said, changing the subject in hopes of distracting their thoughts from existential dread.

You sighed, running a hand down your face. “Fuck, man. I don’t know. Like…I love him so much, but it’s not fair for me to right now. He’s vulnerable and scared and doesn’t even know who we are half the time…how can I put the pressure of a relationship, or even the implications of a past relationship, on him right now? That’s just…so unfair. Plus, we’re the only people he has right now. What if he thinks not liking me will mean us…like, kicking him out or something fucked up like that? What if he tries to force himself to feel the same just out of guilt? What if-”

“Well first off, overthinking things? That’s my job, stay outta my turf.” Donnie teased. You smiled slightly. “Secondly- who says you have to tell him? Because you really don’t.”

“Well, he’s not dumb, Don- he’s figured out that I’m hiding something.” You said dryly.

“Are you though? Because I’m pretty sure you’ve been fairly honest about things- he’s your best friend. He always was. Just say ‘yeah we were like close or something’, you know? It’s not like you guys ever kissed or anything, at least not much, so it’s not much of a stretch.” Donnie suggested.

You nodded. “Yeah…I guess you’re right…who knew you were so good with relationship advice?”

“Nah, I just know you and Raph pretty well.” He chuckled.

You smiled, putting an arm around his shoulders in a side hug. “Thanks Don.”

“Hey, thanks for distracting me from my existential dread.” They snorted, hugging you back.

***

Day 35.

“What if I can’t feel feelings?” Said Donnie, lying awake next to you.

“Hnnghh…Go to sleep Donnie.” You grunted, pulling your blanket tighter around your shoulders. It may have been more secure and safe to have all three of you stationed in the Shellraiser rather than the house, but man, between Raph’s snoring and Donnie’s shitty sleep schedule that you knew full well he had programmed himself to have, it certainly made sleeping hard.

“But what if this is all a dream! What if I died and this is a severely messed up dream I’m having in my last few minutes of life?”

“Shut up Donatello.” Raph groaned, trying to muffle Don’s voice with a blanket.

“What if I'm in a coma and I’m dreaming this and the Earth is actually fine?”

“Go to sleep, broooo…” You moaned, covering your ears with a pillow.

“I don’t usually go into sleep mode for another…mmm…two hours.” Donnie said. “Damn…sleep mode! (Y/N), I’m not a person anymore, am I?!”

“Donatello. Buddy. Pal. I love you dearly. You are a beautiful, fantastic, brilliant person. Let me fucking sleep.” You hissed.

“...Mmm…Okay. G’night.” There was a click, and Don-bot powered down.

“Oh thank god.” Raph grunted, shoving his face into his pillow.

He proceeded to snore incredibly loudly.

You groaned.

***

You blinked your eye open at the sudden silence.

Raph had somehow wound up with his arms tightly wrapped around your arm in his sleep. He was shivering, which made sense considering the cold.

You were tempted to pry him off so that he wouldn’t be awkward or uncomfortable when he woke up. But he looked so peaceful, and you missed this…

Plus you were too tired to do anything. So maybe you’d let him stay…

You’d pry him off before morning though.

***

Day 37.

Raph was pretty sure that Past Raph had had the hots for you. He’d finished reading through his old sketchbook, and it was full of little paragraphs in the margins and crossed out text where he could just barely make out the word ‘(Y/N)’.

He supposed it made sense. He may not have remembered too much of his life, but he had a decent recollection of what pretty people looked like- and you definitely fit that category. Plus, you were funny and cool and sweet….not that it mattered much nowadays.

After all, Past Raph and Current Raph’s circumstances were vastly different. So maybe a part of him was tempted to bug you for more info…but he knew enough to just let it be.

That was the Old World.

In the New World, trivial things like relationship status mattered very little.

(Still, was it really asking so much to have someone who’d hug him? Was he so wrong to wish for a hand on the shoulder once or twice, the way you always were in those goddamned photos?)

(Meh, probably.)

He hugged himself, staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh hey, you’re awake!” You grinned, poking your head into the Shellraiser. “Mornin’ Sleeping Beauty! Breakfast is inside if you want it.”

Raph sat up slowly. “Okay…”

“How’re you doing?” You said as you led him across the yard. It was still cold and dark out, and Raph shivered.

“...Tired.” He grunted.

“Understandable.” You nodded. “I’ve been pretty tired too, but it’s so hard to sleep when it’s so freakin’ cold at night and like, a million degrees the instant the sun rises.” You complained, passing him a plate of eggs from the remaining unmutated chickens.

“Says you, the one who's warm-blooded.” Raph teased.

“Oh shit, you must be so cold at night!” You said, seeming to have just remembered that Raph was a reptile.

“Freezing.” Raph nodded.

“Maybe Don can build a heat lamp!” You suggested. “They’re still in sleep mode right now, but we can ask when he wakes up.”

Raph perked up. “Wait, that exists?”

“Yeah, shit- I can’t believe I didn’t think of that like…forever ago. I guess I forgot that you’re cold-blooded…and now that Donnie is…non-blooded, it must’ve slipped their mind too…I’m so sorry Rafa!” You exclaimed.

“Wait. So this WHOLE TIME I could’ve NOT frozen my tail off every night?!” Raph groaned.

You shrugged weakly. “...Yup.

“This is so stupid.” He sighed, stabbing his eggs with one of his sais.

“Dude…you're using that as a fork?” You cringed.

Raph scowled. “Well it’s not like I know how to use it as a weapon anymore.”

“But…but…Raph you have stabbed through people with those! There is no way that that’s even slightly sanitary!” You squeaked.

He shrugged and ate his breakfast off the end of the sai.

You looked ill. “You are… such a teenage boy. Please stop.”

He sighed but swapped the sai for a fork. “Okay, okay. Jeez.”

“Thank you.” You groaned, patting his shoulder unconsciously.

And suddenly it felt like his brain had short circuited.

Oh god, he remembered you.

How could he have ever forgotten you?! All the memories shot into his brain at record speed- sitting on a fire escape with your arm around his shoulders, spray painting the side of TCRI, making fun of Casey and Donnie’s crushes on April, beating up bad guys, the look on your face- that toothy grin that you never ever wore theses days, a familiar hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder- and oh god, he remembered you!

“I- I…(F/C)!” He gasped. You jerked your hand away guiltily, but he caught it before you could. “(Y/N). Your favorite color is (F/C)!”

“W-what?” You said, eyes wide.

“(Y/N) I remember! I-I remember you! Not everything probably, but- but I remember you!” He exclaimed, gripping your hands in his.

Your eyes widened even further. “Raph, you- what?!”

He grinned and hugged you to his chest as tightly as he could. Tentatively, you relaxed into it, rubbing his shell gently.

“I remember you!” He exclaimed.

You nodded, still looking baffled. “Like…what?”

“I remember how we met- I fell onto your fire escape! A-and I remember eating breakfast here with you and talking about…well, something, probably, but it was definitely here at this table! And I remember…I had this pet turtle, right? I think his name was…Slash? No! Spike! Slash was the mutant…? Whatever! I remember you sitting….uh…there, by that broken window, and I drew this picture!” He grinned, holding up a page in his sketchbook. It was a portrait of you, with soft shading and a bold outline.

“Woah, Raph?! You just- remember all this?!” You said, still staring in disbelief.

“Bits and pieces, yeah- I think it was ‘cause you…you know, touched me. It’s like…muscle memory? I dunno. Might hafta ask Donnie…”

“Raph!” You grinned, hugging him tightly. “I just- wow! This is so cool, I-”

“Woah, are we interrupting somethin’?” Said a familiar voice.

You and Raph jolted into defensive positions, hopping up to face the person-

And then your brain seemed to short-circuit.

“Casey?” You squeaked. “CASEY!”

“(Y/N)! RAPH! Dude I can’t believe we finally found you!” Casey shrieked just as loud, diving in to grab you and Raph in a messy group hug.

You grinned, hugging your friends close. “Casey Jones, I’m so glad you’re okay- fuck man, I thought you must’ve gotten kraang-ifed…”

Raph pulled away, staring at Casey. “You’re…the skeleton dude- Casey Jones?”

“Uh, no duh- who else would I be?! Casey Jones is in the flesh babeeyy!” He grinned, pumping his fist.

“Raph…uh…hit his head in the mutagen bomb, Case’.” You mumbled, and Casey’s grinning facade shattered.

“Oh. Shit.” He said, staring at Raph. “Do you remember…like…anything?”

Raph shrugged dejectedly. “...Some of it. I remember…you and I would spray paint, I think? I remember a lotta (Y/N) apparently…I’ve got some vague recollections of Donatello, mostly their nerd-stuff…”

“Jeez man. That’s…depressing as fuck.” Casey said, blunt as he’d always been.

“Yeah.” Raph grunted.

“So…is it just you?” You asked, fearing the worst.

“Naw, I just found you guys first.” Casey smiled. “Red n’ Angel are searching upstairs…but I hear them coming down right….now.” He said, nodding right as the sound of two people tripping and falling off the treacherous stair-rope Donnie had installed.

“Oooh.” You and Casey winced.

“How ‘bout you? Any sign of the others? …Where’s Donnie?” Casey’s voice lowered for the latter, in an anxious tremor.

“Dee’s….fine. They just…look different than they did last time…you saw them. And…they’re pretty insecure about it.” You mumbled.

“Casey! Casey, we found evidence of someone upstairs- (Y/N)?! Raph!” April said, running into the kitchen as she noticed you. “You guys are here!”

“C’mon O’Neil, rule one of bein’ a ninja is ‘Don’t ever question the vague instructions you get from graffiti’. Didja ever doubt it?” You teased, grinning.

“I-I was so worried, guys! I thought that since my psychic powers stopped working-”

“Woah, how’d that happen?”

“Too many big auras now. They’re impossible to tell apart…trying just gives me a headache.” April explained. “But I thought it meant that you might’ve been dead…” She whispered, and Casey put an arm around her shoulders.

“Woah. So this is your turtle, Case’?” Said a new voice, and a teenage cat mutant leaned into the kitchen. “Hi.”

Raph only grunted in response, and the cat mutant that must’ve been Angel nodded. “Fair.”

“So where is Dee then?” Casey said.

“Shellraiser. In…uh…sleep mode.” You said. “I’ll go get him…but would you guys mind…shit this sounds wimpy. But could you guys…come with me?” You muttered. A part of you was 100% convinced that the instant you left them they would all fade away.

But Casey, who would usually make fun of you for such a childish request, slung his other arm around your shoulders- and you realized he probably felt exactly the same.

“Sure thing.” He said, smiling softly.

“Thanks guys.” You beamed.

You were finally smiling the way you did in the photographs.

Raph couldn’t help but smile too.

***

When Donnie woke up from sleep mode on Day 37 of the Mutant Apocalypse, he was greeted by four familiar faces- two of which were the only faces he’d seen at all in the past month, and two of whom were what convinced him that they were probably somehow dreaming.

But they were a robot, and dreaming wasn’t physically possible anymore.

So that meant this must, somehow, be real.

“Hey Donnie.” Said April, smiling at him, and he wanted to cry even though he didn’t have eyes.

“‘Sup Don.” Said Casey, grinning his gap-toothed grin that looked so much like Donnie’s old one.

“You’re here.” Donnie whispered, feeling his new antennae shoot up. “Holy chalupa you’re HERE?!”

You smiled, helping him up. “Hey Dee, I forgot to tell ya- we’ve got company.”

Donnie stared at the humans. They were here. He had so many questions, but most importantly-

“D’you guys like the new look?” He chuckled, only half joking.

Casey shrugged. “It’s different, but it looks metal as fuck.”

“Yeah that’s ‘cause it is metal, ya meathead.” Said Raph, smiling.

“It looks so cool Dee.” April said, smiling warmly.

Donnie really really wished they could still emote right about now, because the dopey grin that they would have grinned for that was unreal.

***

Day 40.

You and Raph lay on the roof of the farmhouse, watching the red sun set, leaving the sky that weird glowing purple color that it had begun to adopt.

(It really did remind you of some of those old Space Heroes episodes.)

“I really miss the stars.” You said lightly. “But I guess this is sorta pretty too, huh? In like…a weird way.”

“Hey, isn’t that true for all of this shit?” Raph said. “I really miss the stuff in those photos, those glimpses I get of the life we had before…but hey. In a weird…sort of fucked up way…this life is kinda nice too. Don’t get me wrong. It’s really frustrating, I hate my brain most of the time, and I’m like 90% convinced that I’ll never really be the same person…but at least I’m not alone in it, y’know?” He sighed.

You took his hand, squeezing it gently, and he squeezed back, and continued. “I’ve got you and Donnie. I guess now I’ve got Casey, Angel, and April too, and if they survived, who's to say my brothers didn’t?”

You nodded. “Yeah…I guess if we’re out here on this road to nowhere, there’s no one who I’d rather have on my side.” You chuckled half-heartedly. “Still sucks though.”

“Yeah, it really does.” Raph agreed.

You smiled and pulled him into a side hug, suddenly swallowed by bittersweet nostalgia for those days when the biggest threat was Shredder.

But hey, Raph had a point.

At least the outcome, well perhaps a huge downgrade from the breathtaking beauty of the stars, was still sorta pretty.

At least you were on the road to nowhere together.

***

Author's note: I am so glad that Mutant Apocalypse was made into an AU. If it had wound up as the canon ending, that would be...messed up, man. But I like it as an AU, and I hope you've enjoyed journeying through it with me- it's a sad sad ride, but boy did I have fun writing it.

#tmnt x reader #tmnt 2012 x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt 2012 raph x reader #raph x reader #tmnt 2012 raph #2k12 raph x reader #2k12 raph #mutant apocalypse #tmnt apocalypse au #trans raph

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asukaskerian · 6 months

Text

Monthly word count - november

TOTAL: 4 272 words, sliiiight progress compared to the last couple months... :X

Posted: nothin

In progress: -madatobiizu ABO chapter idk (1 825 words) -bleach grimmichinelhime suburban ot4 (1 379 words) -bleach... BLOODSPORT (1 068 words, let's see if it returns straight to its hibernation cave or what.)

-- madatobiizu -- Izuna was having fun holding court with the other three, but Haruno Koumei stayed by Madara, offering a pleasantly tart stream of observations on the shops they passed by and some civilians she knew, light and amusing enough that Madara only had to snort or chuckle here and there to keep her entertained. Then they got started commenting on the architecture, and Madara, it turned out, had Opinions.

He had not been aware he had Opinions. The fact that these strange tile toppers had originated in Earth Country instead of being some strange Daimyo-encouraged fad did not endear them to him. They were in the capital of Fire Country and their ancient style was fine as it was, and it didn't match anyway. No, not even in copper. Ugly. Ugly and the little statues of lion-dogs were borderline an invasive species.

"So, did you guys actually want to see the play, or do you want to criticize the theater first?" Izuna asked them eventually, smirking with his whole face. Madara flicked his ear in revenge and swept inside first, Koumei following on his heels with a pretend-haughty huff that cracked into a laugh the second she was in. Her sisters packed up close, the trio immediately starting to repeat snippets of commentary they'd overheard in funny voices.

"Party of six, sir?"

"Regrettably, yes," Madara agreed dryly, and pulled out his purse.

-- bloodsport --

"How's dad?" he murmured from the doorway. His mom glanced over her laptop, made a commiserating face.

"Oh, he's..."

"Mostly alive!" Isshin tried to chirp, but didn't lift the arm he had rested across his eyes. His feet kept dangling over the arm of the couch like dead weights.

So... It hurt enough to keep him from sleeping.

For the tenth time today Ichigo reeled in his empathy -- telekinesis, awareness, whatever the fuck his hollow sense was, that mapping/echolocating/grabbing/feeling here's-something-alive and here's-how-it-tastes. He pulled it to him like a fisherman drawing his nets closer; but it wouldn't help long, because no matter how he trained the second he stopped paying attention his field of effect would relax and spread out all over again.

But when he touched Dad with it, his dad noticed, and his dad was a psychic null. Nowadays.

Kind of.

Mostly.

Ichigo had a bad night, and this morning his dad had a migraine. "Sorry."

His mom sighed -- closed the laptop, patted the armchair next to hers. "Come here, Icchan."

Ugh. Ichigo didn't want to talk. He'd wanted to go to the bathroom and back. Maybe with a kitchen stop. But his sisters were out of the suite and he'd spent the last five days brooding like an emo teen in his room, and his dad's head hurt. "... Yeah, okay."

There was a water pitcher on the coffee table; his mom filled a glass for her husband, and went rummaging in the room service cart next to her. "Soda? Beer? Vodka?"

"... *Mom*."

"Vodka for me, darling honey."

"Haha! Not even in a dream. You can have another pill in a half-hour and that's my best offer."

-- suburban ot4 --

Cat bastard: kurosaki Cat bastard: kurosaki Cat bastard: kurosaki Cat bastard: don't ignore me kurosaki Cat bastard: i will piss on your pillow Me: good luck getting your dirty dick past my dad and my kick-happy soccer sister in one piece Cat bastard: oh, i'll get my dick *past* them at some point Cat bastard: but this ain't about getting laid for now. Me: ... Me: i will fucking GELD you. Cat bastard: your sisters *and* your dad will be sad, though. Cat bastard: :)

A bark of laughter makes it out of Ichigo's mouth without Ichigo's permission. Orihime makes an inquiring noise. He shakes his head, he'll tell her in a minute, that azurean taint muncher is still typing.

-- and another bit because i wanna :p --

"Why are you upside down in the cupboard, Grimmjow."

There's a broom cupboard on the landing, or at least they use it for brooms. Right now they're not using it for anything because the pipes running at the back of it are sweating rust water.

So when Ichigo walks up he is treated to the sight of long legs in shorts walking up the walls and a torso bared almost to the nipples by the tanktop failing to cling to the rippling muscles underneath.

"... Fuck off," Grimmjow grumbles from down there, hands splayed on the ground with the tendons in sharp relief. His face is a little flushed and Ichigo wants to pretend it's all blood going to his head and effort. He also wants to pretend it's embarrassment for being caught doing something weird, because Grimmjow usually has the self-assurance of a cat accidentally fallen off the counter -- I meant to do that and you can't prove otherwise -- but that would embarrass Ichigo by proxy.

"No, seriously."

"What does it look like," Grimmjow grumbles, and tucks his heels behind the built-in hanging rod.

Then he crosses his hands behind his head and folds up.

Hhhghg.

Down. Up. Down. Up.

Holy shit that fucking bastard has the rib muscles. The side zigzag ones that only exist on pro boxers and underwear models.

"Most solid -- hff -- thing -- in the house-- and I ain't -- exercised -- in weeks."

"... Oh... Makes sense."

"Work's good -- for lifting crates--but--"

"Oh yeah, no, it's not a complete workout, yeah, fair."

If he tears the bar out of the wall somehow -- Ichigo doubts, it looks like it's embedded into the wall instead of leaning on tiny nails -- Ichigo is fully willing to blame the leaky pipes for rotting through the bricks or something.

Up, down, up. Grimmjow holds position, elbows almost touching his knees. Ichigo watches dumbly. Fucking shoulders. Why are they so thick.

#teaser #ABO quest

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articalextraordinaire · 11 months

Text

hi guys, sorry for dying lmao. anyways... do you guys want some ninjago ethnic and cultural headcanons??? (theyre almost all east/south/southeast asian btw // srry if u wanted more central/western asian rep.. caucasus dont count theyre too european /hj)

Arin: y'know the fact that there's like a ton of different tribes in papua new guinea? yeah, maybe one of those but i don't wanna be disrespectful so i'll do more research first before fully commiting. other thoughts are timorese or other indigenous groups from/near eastern indonesia.

Sora: look at those cat ears and try to tell me that she is NOT japanese. just- cmon man. plus, imperium is like a futuristic imperial japan or a futuristic version of that time the tokugawa family was in charge and locked down the country.

Lloyd (as well as the entire FSM bloodline): either tibetian or bhutanese. FSM just gives some budhist vibes so yeah. this isnt going to be about religion but religion does kind of affect ethnicity and culture so it does have a very minor role in making these headcanons. nepali works too but nepal is kinda nore hindu so yeah..

Kai and Nya: indomalay. mostly the indo part.. like- cmon, fire and water, indonesia is an archipelago with a shit ton of volcanoes (philippines too but we'll get there, sandali lang muna ;) ) i cant get into specifics cuz im not too well-researched but yeah. also, vibes 👌

Zane: siberian or he's from one of the islands extremely north of japan that japan and russia keep on disputing over. purely because of geography and ✨vibes✨

Cole: mixed black latino-filipino. as a filipino myself i wanted to make someone filipino =). since a lotta people were making cole black, i thought that i might as well make him mixed <3. plus, the philippines is also a former spanish colony so it just makes sense. if you want a more specific country, either colombia or the dominican republic are cool. not very well-researched on the different latin american countries so if anyone wants to tell me the most appropriate country for cole pls let me know 🥰.

Jay: umm, i sorta have a dillema over this. im thinking either korean or he's from somewhere in the gobi desert like mongolia or inner mongolia (its a province in china btw). korean bc the entertainment and beauty industry as well as the student and work culture kinda fit him. but somewhere in the gobi desert is nice bc the desert is where he grew up. maybe he's korean but grew up in a mongolian-chinese environment but yeah, im not too sure about him 🤷‍♀️. im leaning more towards korean but yeah, not sure.

Wyldfyre: i um... this was very hard. first of all, she's not gonna be asian since i couldn't find a good enough area in asia and well, im pretty sure she's not from ninjago so she doesn't have to be asian. so, i got maori in northern new zealand but 1. i know nothing about the maori people 2. it might be disrespectful to portray them like that. and 3. er, the geography is kinda off. where she grew up looks very desert-y and volcanic. i think a more suitable reigon is in south america towards the coast like peru or chile but um i know even less about the those reigions than new zealand. plus, it has the same first 2 problems i listed earlier. (yes im ignoring her clothes for these headcanons srry guys my brain loves topography too much) TLDR; idk man shes too hard to sort out lol. it adds more to her mystery and chaotic energy anyway so yeah.

if u know more abt latin american countries, pls give me pointers so that i can have more accurate headcanons for cole and wyldfyre. i can do my own research for kai, nya, and arin but any help with that is also very much appreciated 👍. peace ✌️

(this is what happens when u become a geography nerd... im not at my full potential yet bc my latin american knowledge and all of africa knowledge sucks. but yeah. bye fr this timeee)

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clovermarigold · 5 months

Note

Hi, it's me again (^_^)/

Your HC was so cute *-*

Can I ask for another one? Maybe how the characters react when they get anxious? Do they hide and try to get over it alone or are they searching for help? (Do you write for Beckman too? I rewatch opla and I really start to like him)

Absolutely, I love it when yall request fics. Sorry it took so long to reply, pretty backed up with work rn.

One Piece Character Dealing with Anxiety

Luffy

Luffy is a very carefree person and doesn't get anxious easily. In the few cases he has been anxious it has always been over losing someone he loves. I head cannon that Luffy has slight abandonment issues but has learned to handle them pretty well.

On the off chance that he does have an anxiety triggered episode, Luffy is what would be considered both a fighter. He lashes out to do whatever he can to fix what's causing him anxiety. But his senses become very narrowed and blurred when he's in this state.

The most common examples are shortness of breath, blurry vision, and tunnel vision, shaky hands/ tremors, and loss of hearing. Spoilers; As seen in Ace's death scene.

Sanji

Sanji has a gaggle of mental issues and experiences that spur on anxiety. Some of the main contributors to his anxiety are PTSD, childhood neglect and abuse, OCD, nicotine addiction (don't smoke kids), and an inferiority complex/need to prove his self-worth.

When Sanji's anxiety is triggered, he reacts in a way that would consider him a freezer. Sanji was raised with little actual parenting, and the small bit he did get was tough love from Zeff. As a result, he tends to play the tough guy act.

Most common examples being disassociation, tunnel vision, shortness of breath, and loss of motor functions. Spoilers; as seen in Pudding's deception (I know that was more betrayal, but I see it as attacking his self-worth issues, so to me it counts)

Nami

Nami is very much the stoic type that tries to ignore or deny that she has anxiety and mental issues, spoiler.... she does. I mentioned in my last post that she is the one most struggling and learning to deal with her anxiety (pt.1). The main perpetrator for Nami's anxiety is Arlong and herself. Nami suffers from guilt and self-worth issues (A trend huh)

Nami is without a doubt the very definition of a fighter. While now with the help of her friends she's learning to react in a healthier way, for years under Arlong her default reaction to anxiety has been to lash out and get angry.

The common examples are aggression, unstable heart palpitations (Fast heartbeats), shortness of breath, tremors, blurry vision, and confusion.

Zoro

Zoro is a man who uses humor to distract from his anxiety and problems. While he is a mostly serious guy, in the anime he has a tom of golden moments that make my ribs hurt. His problems all of course stem from the loss of his friend and rival as well as their pact.

So, it's no surprise that Self-worth issues are again at fault for a crew members anxiety. I think that in the rare case that his anxiety does take hold, Zoro would freeze. But not to the point that he becomes a statue. Instead, I think that the reason we don't see a lot of his anxiety is because he pushes past his instincts to freeze and keep fighting.

Main expressions of anxiety I think he has, are loss of motor control, tunnel vision, and tensed muscles.

Usopp

Usopp tends to be made as a thoughtless coward with skin level character depth, but that ignores all of his character growth. Usopp is among the characters with less backstory in the trauma department. But I that doesn't mean he doesn't have any. Abandonment issues, paranoia being the most present. Formed from being without his dad and constantly afraid that his only friend would die at any moment.

Usopp is a runner, there's no doubt about it. When anxiety or panic attacks kick in, he kicks out. He's also what I would consider a hider, running as far from the situation and hiding until he can get his emotions under control.

Common symptoms include, shortness of breath, unstable heart palpitations, tunnel vision, restlessness, paranoia, sensory issues, namely noise and light.

Shanks

Ok, this one broke my heart to write. We don't have a lot to work with connon wise, so most of this are head cannons.

Shanks was extremely carefree and kept a positive mindset despite his upbringing and the death of his mentor. He was sad and it took a while to get over of course, but he did, and he didn't come out with anxiety issues. It wasn't until he lost his arm that his anxiety started to surface. The most common cases of his anxiety are night terrors and the occasional panic attack when in a situation he used to do easily when he had both arms. The main culprits of his anxiety are self-worth issues and phantom limb syndrome.

In my opinion, I believe that Shanks is a fighter. But not in the sense that he will lash out when he's anxious. Shanks is a fighter in the sense that he will force himself awake and out of his night terrors.

The main expressions of anxiety for Shanks are nightmares/terrors, shallow breathing, disassociation, and depression.

Mihawk

Mihawk is a character I have a hard time connecting with anxiety. Not because it's impossible for someone stoic to have anxiety. But because I just can't see him not having addressed it by his age. Shanks is believable because he prides himself on being upbeat, fun, merciful, and forgiving. Mihawk's childhood goal was to be the best, so I feel he would have realized a long time ago that he couldn't be the best without having addressed his problems and learning to handle or get over them.

In his youth however, I think he was a fighter similar to Nami. Getting upset with himself for being anxious and at the world for making him anxious.

Mihawk likely spent a lot of time working to address his main issues which I believe to be a god complex, narcissism, self-worth issues, and patients. he's still struggling with that last one.

Buggy

Buggy is all the issues compiled into a singular red nosed train wreck. I would need a week to list all the mental issues he still hasn't learned to cope with healthily. And NO, for all my Buggy stands reading this, you CANNOT fix him.

Buggy in my opinion is a fighter but is far worse than Nami or Mihawk. Buggy's anxiety tends to spiral to the point it becomes panic. For those who don't know, the difference between panic and anxiety attacks is that anxiety haunts the back of your mind and builds, panic will hit you fast and out of nowhere.

Buggy has probably the worst anxiety and symptoms due to being surrounded by a crew with a less than healthy mindset and power dynamic. Symptoms include, aggression, psychosis, delusions, labored breathing, unstable heart palpitations, and restlessness/tremors.

#one piece usopp #one piece nami #one piece #luffy #monkey d. luffy #red haired shanks #shanks #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #nami #roronoa zoro #zoro #usopp #hawkeye mihawk #dracule mihawk #buggy the clown #buggy one piece

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parkerrogersgirl · 2 years

Text

Anything But Free- Chapter 2

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: you’re Ryan Reynolds’ assistant/best friend/go to gal for everything, and you’re having the time of your life. When he surprises you during the filming of “Free Guy,” you’re wondering if you can actually have it all

Warnings: fluff, language(?), aaaaaangst 😏, fluff again bc honestly it needs another warning

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Im back!!!!! A huge thank you to @astheskycries for being my beta reader!!

———————————

You’re pacing back and forth across Ryan’s trailer, somehow feeling both elated and betrayed.

How could he do this to you? You knew his heart was in the right place, but still, how could he do this to you?!

You hear a soft knock at the door and spin on your heel as Ryan pokes his head in, “can I enter my own trailer?”

“At your own risk,” you snap, glaring daggers at him.

“Listen, bud. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. In my defense, I kinda felt like I owed you because you do so much for me and my family. So this seemed kind of small in comparison to everything you’ve sacrificed for me.”

You groan, feeling like an asshole, “okay.… I mean, I guess that’s fair. You just know I don’t like surprises. And this is kind of a massive surprise.”

“Yeah but it’s a pretty damn good one if I do say so myself,” he says with a smirk. “Will you come back out here and at least talk to the guy? You hurt his feelings a little bit.”

Your eyes go wide and you look in Ryan’s mirror, fixing your resting bitch face before turning to face him.

“Okay, how do I look?”

He grins, patting you on the back, “like a knockout. Now let’s go find that Yankee,” he links your arms and walks you out of his trailer, and you see Chris off in the distance talking to Taika Waititi.

Taika sees you and immediately sprints up and hugs you, “well if it isn’t the golden girl! I’ve missed you darling!”

You giggle, trying to ignore Chris’s gaze on you, “Taika you saw me yesterday.”

“That’s much too long! You’re easily the best person on this set,” he says with a squeeze, making you notice this hug is going on for much too long.

You look at Chris apologetically and slip out of the hug, reaching out to shake his hand. Taika tenses up and stares at Chris before begrudgingly walking away.

“Hey, uhhh I’m sorry about earlier. It was just kind of a surprise because you’re kinda my favorite actor and you have been since 2001 and you’re kind of a big deal and am I talking too much?”

Chris laughs, and it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, and thank you. I’ve heard nothing but good things about you from Ryan for years.”

“They’re mostly true, very little embellishments added,” Ryan says with a grin.

You hear a bell ring, and Chris takes out a pen and writes something on your hand before kissing it, “I gotta go, there’s my number, text me. I’ll be waiting.”

Your eyes go wide as he walks away back to set, and Ryan pats you on the back before heading the same direction.

“Good job, killer.”

You giggle and stare at the number on your hand before punching it into your phone. You practically skip over to set to keep an eye on Ryan, unaware that someone is watching your every move.

———————————

Filming wraps after a very, very long day, and you head back to your hotel room in downtown Boston. You missed the L.A. shoots, after which you could go straight home to your own bed. Boston is nice, but nothing compares to your home in Venice.

You drop your bag on the floor and immediately get in the shower and begin to wash off the day’s stress. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d forgotten to do something, but you shrugged it off while you finished up in the shower.

You dry off and put on your coziest sweats and hoodies, absolutely over the cold weather in Boston. You’re doom-scrolling on Netflix trying to trick your brain into falling asleep when your phone rings, snapping you out of your trance. You pick up without checking who it’s from and you’re immediately greeted by-

“CHRIS EVANS?????? My husband got you CHRIS EVANS???” Your dearest friend, Blake Lively, shrieks from the phone.

“Jesus Christ, Blake, take it down a few decibels. You’re reaching a pitch that only dogs can hear.”

“Okay okay okay I’m sorry. But seriously, when were you going to tell me?”

You groan and turn off the TV, “I honestly kinda spaced and thought it wasn’t real. I thought I made it up.”

“Okay, well tell me what happened??? How did it go??”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, okay? Tell your kids their aunt loves them, I gotta go to bed.”

“Fiiiiiine but you better keep me in the loop otherwise I’ll make Ryan do it.”

You say your goodbyes and turn off your phone, quickly falling asleep.

—————————

Several loud bangs wake you up, and you realize somebody is pounding on the door to your room. “HEYYYYY COME ON WAKE UP!!!”

You sit up and check the clock on the bedside table. Bright red digits read 7:38AM. You and Ryan are supposed to be on set by 8, and it’s 30 minutes away.

“FUCK,” you shout as you jump out of bed and strip off your pajamas, choosing the first outfit you find, which happens to be skinny jeans and a pale blue cardigan. You give a sheepish grin as you open the door, seeing your best friend looking rather pleased with himself.

“Why are you smiling? You should be pissed,” you ask with a raised eyebrow as you step into the hallway with him.

“I paid housekeeping to set your clock forward 30 minutes so we could be early to set.”

“You son of a bitch you WHAT?”

He grins and puts an arm around your shoulders, ushering you toward the elevator, “relax, buddy, I did it for you. I figured you’d want more free time with your boy, Chris.”

You groan and smack his arm, “fine, but you owe me coffee.”

——————-

You make it to set 30 minutes early, with a fresh coffee and blueberry scone in hand as you sit on top of Ryan’s trailer and look out at the water.

“You didn’t text me,” a voice says from behind you.

“Ryan your wife called me last night and kept me awake because of YOUR actions, I would really like some alone time.”

“Uh, not Ryan. Guess again.”

Your eyes go wide and you stand quickly, seeing the large frame of Chris Evans.

“Oh, uh.….. sorry. Long day yesterday. I just went to bed after I got to my hotel.”

He steps closer to you, brushing a hair out of your face, “I waited for you to text me. I was looking forward to it.”

“But why? I’m a nobody. I’m just an assistant.”

He shakes his head, looking you in the eyes, “no, you’re not a nobody. As long as I’ve known Ryan, you’ve been there for him. All he does is talk about how good you are to him and his family. I’ve wanted to meet you for years.”

“But why?” You ask, still in disbelief.

“Because you’re genuinely good. There are so few good people in the world. And I want to get to know you.”

You hear a bell ring on set, knowing that’s your cue to go. He gives you a longing smile before kissing your forehead.

“I’ll see you on set, sweetheart.”

You blush as you climb down from the roof of the trailer, seeing Ryan standing right outside the door.

“Oh buddy,” he says with a grin, “you’re so screwed.”

——————

After another long day of filming, you’re in the car with Ryan on the way back to your hotel. Your finger hovers over Chris’ name in your phone, trying to find the will to text him.

Ryan groans and reaches over to grab your phone, but you pull your arm away.

“Okay fine I’ll do it!” You snap, making the decision that will change your future.

Me: “hi”

You lock your phone, not expecting him to respond for a while. Second later, you hear your phone ding.

CE: “hey, sweetheart. I was just thinking about you. What are you up to?”

Me: “heading back to the hotel with Ryan, probably gonna get room service again and then go to bed.”

CE: “if you want to skip room service, I’ll take you out to dinner :)”

You gasp, looking at Ryan, “dude he asked me to dinner.”

“You better fucking say yes, I swear.”

Me: “when and where?”

Chris texts you the address, telling you to meet him in 5 minutes since it’s close to your hotel. You give the driver the location, panicking as you fix your hair and makeup in the mirror.

“You’ll be fine, killer,” Ryan says with a pat on the back as you get dropped off at the restaurant. “Text me if you need a ride, bud.”

You take a deep breath and get out of the car, going into the restaurant. You smile at the hostess and quietly say, “I’m here to meet a Mr. Evans.”

She gives you a soft nod, leading you to a secluded booth with a privacy curtain.

You pull back the curtain and see your favorite set of eyes.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You give him a small, sweet smile as you sit in the booth and the hostess closes the curtain behind you.

You blush and sit opposite from him in the booth, not making eye contact.

“You feeling okay?” He wonders, concerned.

You let out a nervous laugh, “I’m on a date with Captain America. I’m a little anxious.”

He smirks and takes your hand, “is this a date?”

“Uh shit uhhhhhhhh-”

“Gotcha,” he puts his hand on his chest, letting out a deep laugh.

“Oh that’s so not funny,” you say, trying to suppress a giggle.

“Then why are you laughing?”

You roll your eyes and take a look at the menu, noticing that most of the entrées have an ingredient you’re allergic to. You wrinkle your nose in annoyance, and Chris raises an eyebrow quizzically.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just allergic to pepper. I have to be careful about what I eat. Most stuff is pre-seasoned with pepper.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m good friends with the chef, he can cook it separately.”

“No it’s fine, it’s too much trouble. I’ll probably just get plain chicken or something.”

“What do you want?”

“I mean.…. The chicken parmesan sounds really good.”

He grins, beaming at you, “that’s my favorite too. When the server comes back, I’ll tell her we need yours made without pepper.”

“Thank you, Chris, I appreciate that.”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” you sigh, sitting up straight before looking at him seriously, “what is the deal here?”

Before he can answer you hear a soft tap on your side of the booth, and the server sticks her head in to take your orders. Chris orders for you with your adjustment included, and she leaves.

“So; the deal?”

“Yeah. You said you were messing with me when I called this a date, so I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t misinterpreting.”

He sighs, running his fingers through his hair, “the deal is, I’m attracted to you. The deal is, I think you’re wonderful. I want to get to know you. I want to learn everything about you. What gets you up in the morning, how you take your coffee, what movie you watch when you’re sad. I want to know every inch of your heart. If you’re not interested, tell me now and I will be content with being friends. But, whatever your choice, I’m in this 100%.”

You’re lost for words. Speechless. Something you’ve never experienced before. So you do the only thing you can think to do in that moment.

You kiss Chris Evans.

——————————

Tag list:

@sis-tafics @my-emotional-self @thankyouforanonymity @gatorgal94 @supernaturaldean67 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @princess76179 @srgntjbarnes @jcc04220 @ilovethefandomwho-blog @dancer2001 @a-tale-of-two-comics @p-parkerrr-blog @magellan-88 @healojane @sarahp879 @mizz-kraziii i @lostinspace33 @destielinamoose @esther-maslow-90 @astheskycries @kunaikunari @girl-with-an-orange-cat @turningtoclown

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #chris evans x reader fluff #chris evans fluff #chris #Chris evans #chris evans x reader smut #chris evans x reader #evans

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luvsersi · 2 years

Text

Late nights

Steven Grant x fem!reader

A/n: bold italics means Marc is talking (: i actually kinda like this. also missed u guys.

Summary: You live on the same floor as Steven and he accidentally wakes you up.

Warnings: very very slight swearing

Word count: 668

“Alright mate you can do it! It’s okay!” Steven said to himself looking in the mirror. He was trying to keep himself awake because he didn’t want Marc to take over, and figured he might as well try to talk to his neighbor. His really pretty neighbor. And he was kind of hoping the talking would lead to him asking you out on a date.

“Can you though?” Marc teased him from the mirror.

“Shut up please. You’re making me more nervous than I already am.”

Steven adjusted his shirt and somewhat tried to tame his curly hair. The only thing he wasn’t aware of was the fact that it was 3am and other people were asleep at this time. Other people also meaning you. Marc knew damn well what time it was and he was well aware of the fact that you were probably asleep. He just wanted Steven to embarrass himself as revenge for not letting him take control of the body.

“I look fine, yeah?” Steven asked Marc looking at himself in the mirror.

“Meh”

He chose to ignore Marc’s comment and went out the door. His palms were sweaty as he walked down the hall. You lived in the end of the hall and your apartment was the one that was most far away from the elevator.

“Do I knock or ring the bell?” He asked mostly himself but Marc chose to answer.

“Why do you think she has a bell smart ass?”

“Yeah alright. Okay. Okay I’m going to do it.”

His hand was shaking as he pressed the button hearing little tones come from inside. No answer. He tried again. The door slowly opened and a head peeked outside. Your head peeked outside.

“Hi I’m Steve-” he blurted out but stopped mid sentence. Your hair was messy and you were wearing a simple t-shirt and some shorts. You looked like you had just woke up. And then it occurred to Steven; you had in fact just woke up!

“Oh my- blimey I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you were probably going to be asleep! Gosh I’m so sorry! I’ll just go right back to my flat. Sorry!” He stammered, his voice shaking.

He could see and hear Marc laughing from the reflection of your hallway mirror.

“Oh noo it’s fine really” You stood up straighter and opened the door so he could see you properly. You scratched your head and yawned. Steven just watched you in awe, absolutely mesmerized by you.

“So Steve did you need anything?” You asked him leaning against the door in a way making him speechless.

“I uh oh- haha. Okay wow-” he stuttered. “It’s actually Steven hah.” He poorly laughed.

“My apologies Steven.” You smiled.

“Alright so I actually wanted to ask you something.” He played a little with his fingers.

“Stop being a chicken and ask her out already!” Marc hissed from the mirror.

“Alright here we go… so Y/n would you maybe want to go out sometime?” He fiddled with his fingers. You raised your eyebrows in shock and Steven immediately regretted asking you.

“No that was stupid I’m so sorry, have a nice day- I mean night! Goodbye lovely meetin’ you!” He could see Marc rolling his eyes from your mirror.

“No actually that doesn’t sound so bad.” You smiled at him. He raised his eyebrows.

“What?” Steven wasn’t sure if he was just imagining those words coming out of your mouth.

“Steven. I’d love to go on a date with you.” You repeated yourself.

“Oh. Oh! How uh how about tomorrow? Eight?” He asked you, his head having the shade of a tomato.

You nodded. “Just make sure to come on time! I don’t want to look like a complete mess.” You laughed and pointed at yourself. Steven laughed nervously with you and you waved goodbye.

“A mess? She looked rather leng didn’t she?” He asked Marc right after you shut the door.

“Go to bed now.” He sighed and rolled his eyes.

- 💌

@vasnda

#sersi writes #moon knight #steven grant fluff #marvel x reader #fluff #marc spector fluff #disney #marvel #oscar isaac

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sareinadale · 1 year

Note

"Who did this to you?" - Helsa 👀

here you go!! sorry for being super late 🥹 – but i hope you enjoy this one, i quite enjoy the minor twist i made for this short fic.

if you guys would like more of this, do send another prompt my way. i might put this up in a compilation on my AO3 soon.

—

“Who did this to you?” — based on poohsources prompt list.

Image credits: thethirdpersona & luxe-pauvre

The prisoner in question has been residing in one of the holding cells of Arendelle’s dungeon, hidden away from public view and banished ( for five years ) from the Southern Isles. For some, his punishment was deemed as a slap on the wrist, but for the prince, it was a humiliating one.

Such a decision to keep the prince in Arendelle was met with a serious protest from Princess Anna. Upon hearing news of her ex-fiancé’s arrival back on Arendelle docks three months ago, she almost went marching to the ship, with the full intention to send a few punches to his face.

Thankfully the reindeer man stepped in and convinced her not to pursue her anger after receiving an urgent request from the monarch to calm the princess. Knowing her sister, she occasionally received a handful of complaints from Anna as she expressed her displeasure over the decision, mostly during dinner. To which, of course, she learned to play deaf each time the princess made her feelings known.

As weeks turned to months, Anna eventually learned to ignore the prince’s existence, only to remind her sister to “be careful” whenever she had to pay a visit to the dungeon. Today, of course, marks another once-in-a-week visit– which she begrudgingly fulfilled as part of the Isles’ agreement.

“Good evening, Your Majesty. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company today?”

A cheery voice greets her as soon as her icy heels step inside his cell, however, she knew exactly why he assumed the tone whenever she’s here for a visit.

“I’m only here out of an obligation.”

“How kind of you.”

With an exasperated sigh, she took a seat on a wooden chair situated just opposite his bed, where a click was heard as the cell door closed behind them. She knew he was being sarcastic, as usual, but she learned over time not to take anything he said to heart.

After all, how can she trust him after everything?

“Have you eaten?”

“Of course, whatever Your Majesty served, I ate them all. Beggars can’t be choosers, no?”

He quipped, still standing at the far end of the cell as the dimly lit room vaguely highlighted his slim physique. Hans was dressed in a simple white linen tunic and a pair of his navy blue trousers, his hair a little disheveled from the usual; but nothing out of the ordinary.

Their interaction has somewhat improved over the weeks– in the form of biting sarcasm and a more-than-the-weather topic. It is remarkable that the two have overcome animosity by at least pretending to be mildly cordial with each other.

He, of course, seemed to have no problem adapting to his circumstances, clearly aware that Elsa’s grace is merely for diplomacy’s sake. He’s certain she wouldn’t change her views on his attempted murder and betrayal of her younger sister– and he’s not expecting her to do so anyway.

“As long as you’re alive, I suppose.”

“Ouch, that’s a little cold.”

“Good.”

A chuckle soon formed in the prince’s throat, before finally letting out a deep sigh as he said, “So. . . Did anything extraordinarily mundane happen before coming here?”

“. . . Not really. That is, I should count this visit as the ‘exciting’ part of the day– only because I’d rather be anywhere except the study room.”

“You flatter me, Elsa.”

“Don’t.”

She hissed, blue eyes glaring at the auburn prince as she sensed yet another mockery from him.

The second he moved closer toward Elsa, he was seen ( slightly ) limping his way to sit on his bed. As her keen blue eyes noted his rather unusual move, she didn’t bother asking him at first. The second he unintentionally heaved a labored sigh, she began inquiring about his. . well-being. Out of politeness, of course.

“You seemed a little under the weather, are you alright?”

“Do I appear like so?” He asked, sounding a little taken aback by her inquiry.

“It is telling, unfortunately.” She replied, albeit still maintaining an air of distance. The last thing she wanted is to appear genuinely concerned for him.

“Ah, maybe it’ll pass. You have my gratitude, regardless.”

Despite his assurance, she wasn’t sold on that, at least not entirely. The auburn prince carefully claimed a seat on the edge of his bed, a yelp slipped from his mouth and caused him to stumble forward as he lost his balance.

For her, that was exactly the signal she was looking for. She rose up from her seat and rushed forward, kneeling on the floor.

“Hans–”

“No, Your Majesty. I just lost my balance, but thank you.”

He waved a hand to dismiss her, and his eyes appeared shut while he slowly regained his breathing. The fall seemed, apparently, more grave than one would consider, as a normal person would’ve quickly stood back up with an embarrassed laugh.

The blonde, on the other hand, immediately stood up to fetch a portable sconce that hung on the opposite wall of the cell, with the intention to take a closer look at the prince.

Swiftly, Elsa turned around with the sconce in hand. The small flame flickered momentarily as it slowly stabilizes, and she didn’t realize she was holding her breath until the light finally highlighted the prince’s handsome features– only to her realization that his face and his knuckles were badly bruised.

His tunic, as it was somewhat sheer, carried traces of old blood; perhaps his own, which prompted her blue eyes to land on a large makeshift bandage that looked like a piece of old cloth, plastered on the upper right side of his chest.

“Who did this to you?”

Elsa asked, mortified to see the true state of Hans. As much as he was a prisoner, she believed he didn’t deserve to be treated this way.

“Nothing to be worried about, Elsa.”

“I said, who did this to you?”

“Do you want to guess?”

He said, finally regaining his energy to stare defiantly at the queen. For a moment, she hesitates. Her hand instinctively reached out to touch his face, which he surprisingly didn’t deflect. The cooling sensation that permeated from her palm made him grimace in return, all because the bruising pain he received recently hadn’t completely subsided. He wouldn’t say it out loud, of course, but it was somewhat nice to feel her soft cool hand against his skin– a relief, yes.

“The guards did this to you, isn’t it?”

“A custom for dungeon dwellers. Besides, Arendelle isn’t the only kingdom with this practice.”

“Still.”

“You’re too naïve.”

“I’ll send for a doctor right away. And I'll have a word with the guards after this."

#helsa fanfiction #sareindale #prompt request #frozen #helsa #queen elsa #prince hans #iceburns #disney #instead of hans why not HER right #hehehe

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wanderinginksplot · 2 years

Text

Clone Trooper Rambles

Clone troopers as imaginary friends: part... too many to count.

Warnings: mentions of medical situations, particularly preparations for surgery, descriptions of anaesthesia.

---

Surgery

“Are you excited for the surgery?” Lia asked.

“Not really,” I said with a shrug.

“Are you nervous?” she pressed.

“Not really,” I repeated, smiling helplessly.

She threw me a look I can only describe as ‘unimpressed’. “That’s boring.”

My mom made an outraged noise, but I just shrugged. “Sorry to disappoint you, Lia. I don’t really have to do much other than show up and get knocked out. The rest is out of my control.”

“I was hoping to at least see some nerves.” My sister shook her head. “I came all the way out here to support you. I can’t do that if you don’t need any support. Wasted trip.”

I laughed even as Mom started chiding Lia. I was close enough to mutter, “I didn’t ask you to come here.”

“Nah, you need me,” Lia said confidently. “Calm down, Mom, she knows I was kidding.”

“If she’s not nervous now, you’re going to make her nervous!” Mom lectured.

I doubted it, but I let Mom keep lecturing Lia as I made faces at her from across the room. It was almost nice, a little throwback to our shared childhood - though I had usually been the one getting lectured back then.

“Are you nervous?” Kix asked when things had quieted down a little bit.

“No,” I answered again. “Well, not about the surgery itself.”

Rex frowned. “What does that mean? What are you nervous about, then?”

“Well, anaesthesia can do weird things sometimes,” I explained. “What if I… Ugh, this is so stupid.”

“Is it as stupid as the time you thought you lost your car keys?” Hardcase asked. I shot him a dark look and he started laughing. “How long did you look for them?”

“Shut up, Hardcase,” I scowled.

He pressed, “Maybe half an hour? I think it was longer than that. An hour...”

“Stop roasting me, I’m having surgery,” I whined. Hardcase stopped short, his mouth falling open as Kix and Rex glared at him. “I’m just kidding. But I’m worried that something will happen and I won’t be able to see you guys after I wake up.”

“That’s not how anaesthesia works,” Kix told me. “It just stops higher brain function for a while. It interrupts the signals from your body to your brain. There shouldn’t be any long-term side effects, especially in terms of brain function. Unless something goes horribly wrong, and then you’re more likely to die outright than-”

Rex made a disapproving sound and Kix cut himself off while Hardcase took the opportunity to tsk at him.

“Yeah?” I pressed. “Tell me again: which part of the brain is it that lets me see and hear people who aren’t really there? There’s no way to judge how well I’ll recover from the anaesthesia since there’s no scientific basis for any of this.”

“Unless we consider the possibility of a brain tumor,” Kix muttered.

Rex glowered. “Not funny.”

“Not wrong, either,” I tossed out. “But if I’m just ignoring larger symptoms, at least they’re pleasant ones. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens when I wake up after everything.”

My unconcerned attitude didn’t end up lasting that long. I almost made it, but the morning of the surgery found me in a 'room' made up of curtains hanging from tracks in the ceiling. I was sitting on the hospital bed because I was told I had to - mostly to keep from jarring the I.V. that had been placed in the back of my hand. I smelled like unfamiliar antibiotic soap and was dressed only in a hospital gown and the ugliest socks I had ever seen. My family wasn’t allowed in and I was waiting for the anaesthesiologist to come back. At that point, my courage finally ran out and I teared up.

Fortunately, no one was there to see it but Rex.

“Are you okay?”

I wiped my eyes, trying to camouflage the motion like I was adjusting my glasses. “By definition? No, hence the surgery. In general? No. I’m freaking out a little bit. Why did I volunteer for this?”

“Your body was trying to kill you,” Rex replied, the attempt to inject humor into his tone falling flat.

I nodded. “Yeah. ‘Volunteer’ probably isn’t the right word, but I… I could have put this off a little longer. I’m going to be different when I wake up.”

“Yes, you will be,” Rex agreed. I huffed out a surprised breath and flopped back against the thin pillow. Gingerly, Rex sat on the side of the bed opposite the I.V. and pretended to straighten the perfectly straight sheet. “But that doesn’t mean it’ll be bad. It’ll take a bit more planning to make sure you take your medication and you’ll have to adjust how you do some things - especially at first - but none of that is a dealbreaker. You needed this surgery. Taking care of it now is smart. Putting it off until later was an option, but who can say what may have happened before you got it? This is a good thing.”

“I hope so,” I whispered. “Thanks, Rex.”

He sent me a warm smile, but the curtain ‘wall’ was whisked aside before he could offer any other answer. The nurse came in, followed by the anaesthesiologist and my dad. “Ready to take a little trip down to the operating room?”

“As I’ll ever be!” I told her, giving the most dazzling smile I could muster. Acting had never been my best thing, but compartmentalizing was a particular gift of mine.

“Okay, great!” she replied, beaming back at me. “The doc is gonna have you sign the last of the forms while I get you ready to roll. And I even brought your dad to see you before you go!”

After I finished signing the forms the anaesthesiologist passed to me, I smiled at my dad. He smiled weakly back. “How are you doing?”

“A little nervous, but not bad,” I told him, trying to bunch the sheets up around my I.V.-bearing hand. Needles weren’t his favorite, despite his tattoos. “But I’ve signed the forms and peed in a cup, so I’ve pretty much done my part.”

The nurse murmured a warning before she gathered my hair into a surgical cap. It felt like a shower cap in a particularly ugly shade of blue and I grimaced, extremely glad there were no mirrors or cameras in the immediate area.

“Exactly,” the doctor chimed in. “The rest is my job, and it looks like it’ll be an easy day. You’re young and in great health. Nothing to worry about, Dad.”

My dad nodded as the anaesthesiologist clapped him on the shoulder. “Just… take care of her, okay?”

“Absolutely,” the doctor agreed. He glanced over my head and nodded, presumably at some signal from the nurse. “Looks like we’re good to go! Let’s do this!”

“Love you, Dad,” I said as my bed was wheeled out through the curtain door.

“Love you, too,” he said instantly. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

And we were gone before I could say anything back.

At first, Rex tried to keep up with the bed, but as we continued down tightly twisting hallways with almost no clearance on either side of us, he ended up perching uncomfortably on the end of the bed.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” I told him silently. “You can go wait with everyone. I think there are a few troopers who planned to stick around.”

The face Rex made was so dry that I almost laughed. “I’ll be right here until you fall asleep and right here when you wake up.”

I nodded, but I’m sure we were both thinking the same thing: it would all depend on whether I could see him when I woke up. I was glad to have him there, though. The nurse insisted on me lying completely flat while they transferred me from the bed to the operating room table and I was left staring up at a circle of unfamiliar and blurry faces, my glasses left behind with my dad. Rex took a post to my right, his short blond hair distinctive even without the full power of sight.

“I honestly didn’t think I would be awake this far into the process,” I noted.

A ripple of laughter went through the medical staff as several of them gave the anaesthesiologist pointed looks. I smiled, feeling a little more at-ease. It was nice to see workplace friendships, especially in a hospital setting.

The doctor gave a put-upon sigh. “This place. Nothing but work, work, work. Even the patients are telling me to get moving.”

“Sounds like a good hint, then,” my nurse told him, winking at me.

The anaesthesiologist put a mask over my mouth and nose. “No hard feelings. I even put the best stuff in here. Should smell a little like strawberries. You like those, right?”

I nodded. We had shared a lengthy conversation about breakfast foods - a bit of torture, actually, since I hadn’t been allowed to eat that morning. I frowned, telling him in my muffled voice, “I don’t smell anything.”

“Weird,” he said. “Take a deeper breath.”

By then, I had figured out the game and was chuckling as the world went black.

When I woke up in the recovery room, I didn’t stay awake for very long. I was slipping in and out of sleep, though I didn’t remember having any dreams. It was like a light switch - off and on, off and on.

Through all of it, there were two constants: twinges of discomfort in the area that had been operated on and the feeling of an incorporeal hand in mine.

---

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Author's Note - Like I've said before, these are mostly written in order, but aren't posted with any kind of regularity. My surgery was quite a while ago and recovery has gone smoothly! In an effort to keep my personal life private, I would rather not disclose the surgery in question, but I can share that it was minor. I'm just dramatic.

Taglist: @rexs-wife @sugarpuffsstuff @just-some-girl-92 @kimageddon @ladysongmaster @carodealmeida @nomercyforthewarrior @bitchylittleredhead @lackofhonor @buddee @salaminus @hikime @808tsuika @ladykatakuri @shawtyitsyou @bikerlorian @torchbearerkyle @frietiemeloen @justanothersadperson93 @leotatombs @rain-on-kamino @itsagrimm @dancingwiththeplanets @theclonesdeservebetter @murder-of-crows-1 @rosmariner @staycalmandhugaclone @marennial @eyecandyeoz @fordo-kixed-rex @lucyysthings @quietplaceinthestars @dinsverdika

#Clone Trooper Rambles #clone trooper rambles #star wars #star wars the clone wars #clone trooper kix #kix #captain rex #rex #hardcase #sw fic #ink's fics #ink's life #not crazy just creative #clone troopers deserve better #more to come

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linagram · 10 months

Note

To the 2(3?) wardens: Now that trial 2 has begun, what have the prisoners been requesting? As before, whether they actually got the item or not is irrelevant.

okay, so the thing is that i'm not 100% sure if the guilty prisoners are still allowed to ask for things in canon, like i thought they can't do that, but now i'm, again, not completely sure (like for example, fuuta still has a different outfit in season 2), so i just want to say that in my ocgram guilty prisoners can't ask for anything "officially", so if they have a request, they have to ask innocent prisoners to get those items for them or they can ask miki and hope that eiji doesn't find out. there's also another way for them to get the stuff they want though..

guard 003 can't leave his room, so he can't actually bring the things prisoners need himself and also they can't pay him a visit (most prisoners don't even know if there's a third guard), but because he still has so many cameras and he also can listen to everyone's conversations, he can take "secret requests", so if an innocent prisoner wants to ask for something, but they can't for one reason or another, if the guard 003 is feeling like it, he will grant their wish. he can do the same for the guilty prisoners, but only if he feels like they deserve to get those items. ah, and he just asks jackalope to bring them those things while everyone is asleep. he really just turned his own boss into a delivery guy.

as with the t1 version of this question, the guards will answer instead of prisoners. guard 003 will talk about the secret requests and not the regular ones. (note: not all prisoners make requests like that)

Miki:

Since Miyagawa-san was voted guilty, he's not allowed to ask for anything, even though I really want to help him.. Usually Aimi-chan is the one who gets everything for him, but considering his condition, it's mostly things like bandages or medications that can help with his pain at least a little bit. Of course, his injury is serious and we need to do more about it, but because of his verdict and because both me and Eiji-san are not particularly good at taking care of injuries.. Sadly, we can't do much.

About Aimi-chan.. Aimi-chan is mostly worried about Miyagawa-san and she says that she doesn't really need anything herself. Though she did ask for some cute hair ties for her braids and I got her some cherry blossom-themed ones. She really likes them, hehe..

Ishizu-san's requests are a bit.. They're just a little bit weird, haha. If we're not counting his new outfit, I feel like he's been mostly asking for things that remind him of Kei-san? Like, maybe I just don't understand something, but why would he need sunglasses in prison? He doesn't even wear them, unlike Kei-san, he just keeps them somewhere in his cell and I can see him looking at them sometimes. He asked for some other accessories that Kei-san was wearing before his punishment and again, Ishizu-san doesn't even wear them, he just.. collects them, I guess? And about his other requests.. He keeps asking for things like manga and light novels and some of them are.. U-um.. Y-you know, maybe he's right, maybe I just don't get them.. Like he told me that they actually have a very deep meaning and that I'm just a bit too young for that. I probably should just agree with him for my own sanity.

Eiji: Naomi, as always, thinks about other prisoners more than herself and she rarely requests things that she herself needs and not anyone else. I asked her about it, considering that she's slowly becoming more confident and open about her dislike of certain prisoners, but she just said that she really doesn't need and doesn't want anything. She also said "Sorry, but I don't want to cause you any trouble, unlike Asahi-kun".. Is she trying to make herself look better than a kid? Well that's just pathetic.

Kei's not allowed to ask for anything and I also make sure to ignore any requests he has. He's guilty, so he doesn't deserve to get anything he wants.. H-how did you- Listen, the only reason why I bring him food when nobody can see us is because I don't want him to die until this whole thing is over. No, I do want him to die but if he dies too early.. I-I don't know if those people will like it.

Eiko still mostly asks for things like hair products, accessories and all that. She also asked if she can have a full-length mirror in her cell and if she's allowed to decorate her cell.. I answered yes, but only so that she could leave me alone after that. She also has this weird habit of requesting things and then giving them to me now. I told her I'm fine and I don't need them, but she insists and says that I can consider accepting them another request from her.

Miki: Yano-san's requests are mostly the same, though now he asks for even more attention from me and a lot of his requests actually sound like "Just sit with me and talk to me about something" or "Sit next to me while I eat", etc. I don't know why, but he's become so attached to me for some reason.. I don't really mind though, when we spend time like this, I realize that he's actually a very sweet kid, he's just.. not that good at understanding his own feelings and expressing them. O-or maybe he's just only nice to me and not the other people here.

Eiji: Yurika is not allowed to ask for anything and even if she begged on her knees, I wouldn't listen to her. She's too dangerous right now and I feel like she has the ability to turn literally anything into a weapon now. Well, she doesn't really try to request stuff anyway.

Miki: Wait, what am I supposed to call him now? Our relationship is kind of.. U-uh, anyway, Riku-san asked for some hair dye recently, he said that he kinda wanted to change his appearance. He asked for multple different colors and ended up using only two of them and when I mentioned that, he just said that since we don't know how much time we'll have to spend here, he's sure he'll get a chance to use those colors too in the future. As for his other requests, he somehow broke his guitar, so he asked for a new one.. And then he broke it again like three days later. Eiji-san said that it's probably just a way to relieve stress for him, s-so.. I got a cardboard box and drew a guitar on it and gave it to him. He got confused and said that he actually does need a guitar, so that he can play music, but I was so afraid of him breaking it again and I was so tired, that.. u-uh.. I ended up yelling at him and telling him that if he's talented enough, he'll be able to play music with a box. I still feel bad for saying that..

As for Himura-san, she actually spends more time with me rather than Eiji-san now, though I think it's mostly because most of the things she asks for are obviously meant for Kei-san and she doesn't want Eiji-san to know anything. When it comes to what she requests for Kei-san, her requests are a bit similar to Aimi-chan's, but she doesn't only ask for medicine, for example, she has recently asked for a hairbrush, so that she can take care of Kei-san's hair, since it's really messy now. She also wanted to get some new clothes for him, but she knew that Eiji-san would notice Kei-san wearing something different, so she changed her mind. As for her own requests.. well, she asked for bubblegum once? Also I found out that she doesn't like strawberry flavor.

???: Let me think.. Well, Akio-san still wants to read a lot, but obviously, he doesn't have the energy for that at the moment and he, uh, literally can't read right now. I feel sorry for him, honestly.. Also I made Jackalope get some better medicine for him, so that at least he can get some sleep. I kinda have experience with that stuff, haha..

H-huh? You want to know Shun-san's secret requests?.. I don't think you want to know the answer. Seriously, this guy is either going to kill everyone here if I ever end up bringing him the things he wants or he'll just.. I don't know, brainwash Kei and turn him into his pet or something? I don't wanna know what's going on in his head.

Naomi-san's secret requests are a bit scary too and no, I didn't bring her anything. To be honest, I feel like she's planning to hurt or even try to kill a certain prisoner, so.. Yeah, I probably should ignore her.

Kei-san's camera is broken now, so he can't use it and he mentioned that he wants a new one even though it's too hard for him to take pictures right now, especially because of his eye injury, but I still got one for him. I don't know, I thought that he should have at least some fun. Also Reina helps him take pictures, even though he always ends up telling her that she's not a professional and she should just let him do everything, but it's fun to watch them.

Asahi-san actually wanted to impress Miki-san with something, but he didn't know what, so I tried my best to find at least some information about her interests.. But then I found out that she has two main interests: forgiving everyone and everything and cute guys. So, uh.. Sorry, Asahi-san. I tried.

Yurika-san's secret requests are even worse than Shun-san's! I swear, they're all going to kill each other if someone doesn't intervene..

Riku-san's secret requests are just.. sad. You don't wanna hear about them.. Wait, is he planning to hurt himself again or is he planning to hurt others this time? In any case, it's still not good.

Reina-san is an interesting one. She doesn't have any secret requests, but sometimes I can see her standing somewhere and staring right into the camera. I don't know if she noticed it or it's just a coincidence. But I'm starting to feel like she did notice it.

#“hey what's going on with shun” uh. you might wanna check his t1 interrogation again #oh and if you think he requests horror/nsfw manga and novels he actually just asks for manga/novels that have-#like. really long titles. like you know the ones. so miki finds them confusing #(some of them still have horror/nsfw elements so. yeah miki just don't think about it too much)#riku is just sitting in his cell. with his box guitar #guard 003 is sitting in his room like “you guys are in a crisis. i'm on my way”#(he will appear. trust me.)#REINA IS JUST GOING TO UNCOVER ALL THE SECRETS OF THIS PLACE BEFORE SEASON 2 ENDS HJSDKSLSLS #❔answering asks ❔#🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️#🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼#👑prisoner 001: miyagawa akio👑#🌸prisoner 002: hanasaki aimi🌸#💔prisoner 003: ishizu shun 💔#🌿prisoner 004: chiba naomi🌿#🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓#💎prisoner 006: yoshioka eiko💎#🍬prisoner 007: yano asahi 🍬#🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀#🎸prisoner 009: kuroki riku 🎸#🎭prisoner 010: himura reina🎭#(guard 003 doesn't get his own tag yet!)

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spnhunter4life · 1 year

Text

So Long Chapter 3

Word Count: 8k

A/N: I realize these chapters are getting longer each time. So... sorry? I seem to have a hard time keeping things short, and when I’m writing multiple little stories per chapter, things get a little long. Thanks to everyone who has left a like on the first couple chapters! It really makes my day and keeps me motivated to write when I see people enjoying it. I hope everyone enjoys Chapter 3!

Series Masterlist

So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We’ve known it since we were young So why did it take so long?

Ages 15 and 17 March 18, 1996

“Jenna!” I heard Dean call from down the hall as he stalked towards me. He sounded annoyed. I knew how it looked, Tony casually leaning next to me, arm braced against the lockers. The halls were mostly empty as everyone went home for the day. I knew I had a big smile on my face too, knew the conclusion Dean had undoubtedly come to, but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him playing overprotective big brother. Rolling my eyes, I turned to face him as he stopped within inches of me.

“What’s up, Dean?” I asked calmly. I didn’t fail to notice the way he angled his body slightly between the two of us.

“I was going to ask the same thing,” he answered. “I thought you were going to meet me and Sam outside.”

“I was. I am.” I corrected myself. “Tony was just telling me about all the horses his family owns and he said I could come over and ride if I want.” I told him, getting excited again. I looked at Tony who looked slightly nervous. He was a fairly attractive, semi popular guy. A sophomore, like me, he was still growing into his long legs and widening shoulders.

“You really think your dad is going to let you go to some guy’s house?” Dean scoffed.

“Why not?” I answered defensively. “You and Sam go to your friends’ houses all the time.” I noticed Tony wince a little and pushed Dean away, only able to do so because I took him by surprise. He still only backed away a single step.

“That’s because our dad doesn’t care what we do and you know it. Your dad is way more protective,” he countered. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before he lets you do something as stupid as go to the home of some random boy by yourself.”

“You mean before you let me go,” I retorted. “Well news flash Dean, you don’t get to decide what I can and can’t do. And what do you mean ‘stupid’? I want to go ride horses with a friend, not bungee jumping off a cliff above a shallow lake.”

“You’ve never ridden a horse before, Jenna! What if something goes wrong? You could fall off and hurt yourself!”

I was surprised he wasn’t backing down. He never used to have these kinds of arguments in public. He’d always been protective, but for the past year he’d been even worse. While deep down I appreciated his concern, right now I was just irritated.

“I have to drop my stuff off and let my dad know what’s going on, but I’ll try to be there by four if that works for you.” I told Tony, ignoring Dean for the moment.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Tony said warily. “Whenever works for you. And if you don’t come, I’ll just assume your dad said no.” He told me, eyeing Dean before making a hasty escape. I huffed and turned to punch Dean in the shoulder.

“Really?! Why do you have to do this to me? You know how much I love horses! Why can’t you stop scaring away everyone I make friends with?!” I ranted. Dean just started walking for the door.

“I don’t scare away all of your friends. Only the jerks that are making moves on you. I mean, really Jenna? You think all he wants is to show you a few horses?” He mocked. He held the door open for me and, choosing to ignore his jab, I made a beeline for Sam, who had started walking once he saw us come out. Sighing, he closed the door and jogged a couple steps to catch up to me.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing my shoulder and turning me to face him. “I’m not trying to ruin your life, you know. I’m just trying to protect you.”

“Well maybe I don’t need you to protect me! Did you think of that? I’m not an idiot, I know he’s hoping for more, but I also know he’ll back off if I tell him to. And even if he didn’t, don’t you think I can handle one teenage boy? My dad doesn’t have me train for nothing.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” I asked him, exasperated.

I watched as he physically reigned in the automatic response that wanted to shoot past his lips. He worked his jaw back and forth and took a breath as he thought of the best way to say it.

“Guys suck. Ok? And I can say that with absolute certainty seeing as I am one.”

“Dean-” I tried to interject.

“No, let me finish. I just don’t want to see you get involved with some guy who's only going to end up hurting you.”

I waited to make sure he was finished before answering.

“Yeah, but did you miss the part where I said I wasn’t interested?” How could I be? There wasn’t a boy in the world who stood a chance of gaining my attention when the most perfect one was already in my life, completely oblivious to how thoroughly he had ruined the chances of me ever being interested in anyone else. Of course I couldn’t tell him this, so there was no real way to assure him that I was telling the truth. “Zero chance of me being hurt. I promise.”

“Maybe,” he said, clearly not sure if he believed me or not. “You could still fall off a horse though. I’m sure that would hurt.”

“Because the risk of falling off a horse is so much greater than getting hurt on a hunt?” I asked pointedly.

“Okay. You’re right,” he sighed after a moment of deciding whether or not to argue. “I’m sorry. You still have to get your dad to agree to it though,” he pointed out. I groaned and squared my shoulders, readying myself for the upcoming argument.

~~~~~

I was practically vibrating with excitement as Dean pulled into the driveway of Tony’s home. It had been one of Dad’s conditions, that Dean drove me. I could see several horses already and knew I’d be on one of them soon.

“Thanks Dean!” I said as I moved to get out of the car.

“Just a second,” he said, putting a hand on my knee to stop me. I paused with my hand on the handle and turned to him. “Just… promise you’ll be careful.” He finally got out. My heart stuttered a little like it always did when he worried. I knew it was only a brotherly concern no matter how much I might wish it was more.

“I will.” I told him with a soft smile. Then I jumped out of the car and headed towards where I saw Tony at the barn.

Ages 14 and 15 October 15, 1994

It was the second day at this school in South Dakota. Dad and John had gotten a call from Bobby about a possible ghost problem a few towns over from Sioux Falls and so here we were. All the moving around never got any easier. Just when I started to really get to know the friend or two that I made, we had to pack up and move on again.

I was eating lunch with three other girls. Kristin and Liz were sitting on one side of the table and Carly was sitting next to me on the other side, the rest of the table empty. I was appreciative of the three girls who had noticed the new girl sitting by herself yesterday and come over to keep me company. This is how it usually went. As a fairly introverted person, any friends I made were the result of the other people approaching me, not the other way around.

“Can you believe the amount of homework Mr. Cohen assigned us today?” Carly was complaining. “I don’t know how I’m going to have time to get it all done!”

“No kidding,” Liz joined in. “Does he not realize that the other teachers are all giving out homework too, not just him?”

“He gave us a week to get it done,” Kristin reminded them. “You can do a little every day. It’s not like it all has to be done tonight.”

“Says the overachiever who’s never missed an assignment or gotten a grade lower than an A her whole life,” Liz teased.

“What do you think Jenna?” Carly asked me. “You said you’ve moved around a lot. Would any of the teachers at your other schools hand out this much homework at once?”

“I mean, it’s definitely a lot to be given at once, but I guess I wouldn’t say it’s too much. Like Kristin said, we do have a week to do it. So, I guess I would consider it a reasonable amount,” I concluded.

Carly and Liz both had little frowns of disagreement on their faces, but they dropped the subject, moving on to the much more exciting – in their minds, anyway – topic of Snow Queen. This new conversation had only just started, Carly asking the other two what they were going to wear when I saw Liz’s eyes widen at something over my shoulders. Then she was leaning in, excitedly whispering.

“The hot new guy you were talking about is here,” she said excitedly to Carly. “Wow, you weren’t exaggerating.”

Carly turned to look at him and I saw Kristin peering around to see who they were talking about too. I didn’t need to look. I knew who it was. I sighed and kept eating. Sure enough, Dean soon walked past my line of sight, heading towards the dwindling lunch line. The girls were chattering about him, but I wasn’t really listening. Until I heard my name.

“Come on Jenna, didn’t you see him? Isn’t he, like, the best looking guy you’ve ever seen in your life?” Carly encouraged me to join in. Of course I agreed with her, but I wasn’t about to announce it out loud.

With a small smile, I said, “Well of course you guys would think so. In a school this small, anyone new is exciting.”

Liz scoffed. “Oh please. It’s not because he’s new. You did see him didn’t you? The guy in the leather jacket?”

“I saw him.”

“And you don’t think he’s attractive? At all?” Carly asked in disbelief.

I looked for him, saw that he was a little over halfway through the line, well out of hearing range, and sighed. I made a split second decision to tell them. Why not? It was rare that I got to talk about Dean this way. I had to keep all my feelings bottled up. It would be so nice to be able to let them out, and who better to talk to about it than a group of virtual strangers who would whole-heartedly understand and agree with me?

“Alright, fine. He’s the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen.” I agreed.

Carly was watching him as he made his way through the rest of the line. “Isn’t he though?” she sighed dreamily.

“It doesn’t really matter though,” I told the girls.

“What do you mean? This school is full of girls he’s never met before. Chances are he’ll be interested in at least of them, so why not think that any of us could be her?” Liz asked, probably thinking she was making a great argument. And maybe it was a great argument. For them. They didn’t have all the information about me though.

“Doesn’t matter for me,” I told them.

“Because you move around a lot?” Kristin asked. “Long distance relationships are a thing you know. And besides, even if he never looks at us twice, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating the view.” She turned again to watch him as she said this.

“Moving isn’t the problem,” I mumbled just as Carly squealed, “I think he’s coming over here!” and Kristin quickly spun around in her seat to face forward again.

I looked up and saw Dean just steps away from our table, as Carly had said.

“Hey, Jenna!” He greeted as he moved around the table to sit beside me.

“Hi, Dean,” I answered, blood rushing to my cheeks as the mouths of the other three girls dropped open in shock.

“Is the food at this school any good?” He asked, eyeing the chicken strips, mashed potatoes, corn, and rice krispie bar they were serving today.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” I told him.

“Great,” he replied, digging in. “So how are you ladies doing?” He asked around a mouthful of food. I elbowed him in the side. “What?” he asked innocently. He knew I hated his awful table manners, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to stop.

“So, uh… you guys know each other?” Kristin asked.

“Umm… surprise?” I said unsurely.

“Is it though?” Dean asked. “I mean in a school this size doesn’t everybody know when there’s a new kid or two?”

“Of course,” Carly answered.

“And nobody noticed that Jenna and I showed up at exactly the same time yesterday?” He continued.

“Well when you put it like that I guess we really should have,” Carly answered. “But no, for some reason we did not realize. I actually didn’t even see you until today.”

“Actually, now that she mentions it, I didn’t see you either. And you definitely weren’t at lunch yesterday. Where were you?” I asked him. I had initially written it off as him having a different lunch period. We often did. But this school only had one lunch period for the entire high school. He should have been there.

“I was running errands for Dad,” he responded easily. I knew that meant he was helping with the hunt in some way. I don’t know why I was just finding out.

“Your dad had you running errands instead of being in school?” I asked him, frustrated. “And you didn’t tell me.”

“Who says I wasn’t in school?” He asked, mock offended, even though he obviously hadn’t been. “Besides, not all of our dads are as insistent on a good education as yours,” he told me. “And when you didn’t see me at lunch it should have been a clue that I was busy,” he joked.

“We rarely ever have lunch at the same time. It wasn’t unusual not to see you,” I countered.

“So,” Liz interjected, looking at me meaningfully, “aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Oh. Right. Guys this is Dean. Dean this is Kristin, Liz, and Carly,” I said, gesturing to each girl as I named them.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said with his patented charming grin, the one guaranteed to make girls from all around the world stop breathing while they were caught in the intensity of it.

“How do you two know each other?” Kristin asked, looking back and forth between the two of us. The other two were looking and listening intently too and I noted the curious stares of several other people in the cafeteria. I mentally rolled my eyes, resigned to this new topic that would undoubtedly continue for a while.

This is what always inevitably happened. We moved to a new school. As the new girl, people would find me mildly interesting at best. I was mostly ignored except for a select few people who made an effort to be welcoming. And then people found out that I was somehow involved with “the hot new guy” as he was usually known. Dean would wave at me or talk to me in the hall, someone would see us getting into the same car after school, or in today’s case, he sat with me at lunch. Then I became interesting. People wanted to get to know me in order to get to know him.

“Our dads work together,” Dean answered for me, stealing the rice krispie bar from my tray.

“Hey!” I protested.

“What? You hate these things,” Dean said. He wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, but you could have asked instead of just taking it,” I mumbled petulantly.

“Why do I have to ask to eat something I know you’re not going to eat anyway?”

“Well it would be the polite thing to do,” I told him sternly. He just scoffed and took a bite.

“So you guys move around a lot,” Kristin started, continuing her line of questioning, “and it’s just you two and your dads?”

“And my brother Sam,” Dean replied through another mouthful of food.

“Ok, I know we were more out of the loop than we should have been with you, but I swear there isn’t a third new kid here. There’s no way we would have missed that,” Carly insisted.

“Nah, you wouldn’t have heard about him,” Dean told her. “Sammy’s in middle school.”

“Well thank goodness I haven’t lost it completely,” Carly joked.

“How long have your dads been working together?” Kristin asked.

“What’s it been? Five years now?” Dean mused, looking to me for confirmation.

“Yeah, probably pretty close to that, I’d say,” I said.

I saw Kristin open her mouth to ask another question when the five minute bell rang. We all hurried to dump our trays and get to class.

~~~~~

It was about ten minutes into art class an hour later, and I was trying to find the right mix of colors to blend together for the shade of blue I wanted. We were working on landscapes this week, using oil pastels.

I’ve found that art classes can be quite tedious or a lot of fun, depending on the teacher. I liked this one. She was pretty relaxed, giving everyone the assignment and then letting them do whatever they wanted within the parameters of the project. She was also completely fine with students talking throughout the whole class as long as they were still getting work done.

“So,” Liz started. We sat beside each other and I had been waiting for this. The questions about Dean would start now. Things he liked to do or watch or eat, what kind of girls he was usually interested in, that sort of thing.

“You and Dean seem pretty close.” She worded it as a fact, but her tone trailed off in a questioning way.

“Yeah, I suppose you could say that,” I responded warily. I’d found the correct combination of colors I wanted and started working on the sky.

“And you guys are just friends? Nothing more?” She asked, unconvinced.

“We’re just friends,” I told her, already ready for this conversation to be over with.

“But why?” She wondered out loud as she grabbed a red oil pastel from the box between us. I felt my forehead wrinkle in confusion.

“Why what?

“Why aren’t you guys together?” She explained. “I mean, you’ve known each other for years, you apparently travel around the country together, you practically live together-”

“We don’t live together,” I quickly interjected. There had been a quick conversation in the hall about our living situation when Carly asked if Dean and I lived together. Luckily the five minutes between classes left just enough time to explain the situation without having to be questioned about it too thoroughly. “We’re always in separate motel rooms. It’s more like living in the same apartment building I suppose.”

“I said practically,” Liz quipped. “And that’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” I sighed, using a paper towel to blend my sky colors together.

“The point is…” she started, pausing to find the right words. “Well, everything I already said!” She finally settled on. “You said you guys move around a lot. I imagine always being the new kids makes you even closer with the one person you actually know,” she said.

“I have Sam too,” I reminded her.

“You mean Dean’s little brother? The one in middle school?” She snorted. “Yeah, that’s exactly the same thing.”

“It is the same thing,” I insisted. “Our dads aren’t around much so we’re all pretty close.”

Liz looked at me like I was unbelievably stupid.

“I feel like we’re having two separate conversations here. Do you really not get where I’m going with this?” She asked.

“You’re trying to be absolutely sure that we’re not dating and Dean’s single, right? Well I’m telling you that we’re not dating. Can we drop it now?” I asked, irritated.

“No, we can’t drop it,” she countered. “That’s not where I’m going with this at all.” She let out a frustrated breath before continuing. “You said at lunch that he was the most attractive guy you’d ever seen.” She said pointedly.

“No I didn’t,” I denied, grabbing a white oil pastel to add in some clouds. “Carly said that.”

“And you agreed,” Liz said. “Look, I’m not trying to embarrass you,” she continued when she saw my blush. “I’m just trying to understand. I only saw you guys together for a few minutes today and it seemed pretty clear to me that you’re really close. So why aren’t you together?”

“He’s not…” I started to say, cutting myself off. Liz waited patiently for me to sort my thoughts. “He doesn’t see me that way,” I told her.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

I frowned, thinking about all the girls he was always flirting with.

“I’m sure.”

“Well… I think you might be wrong,” she said decisively. And then, before I could object, “Tell me about him.”

“What do you want to know?” I asked.

“Anything you want to tell me,” she said. “Isn’t it nice to get to talk about him like a normal teenage girl talking to her friend about the guy she likes? Not as the friend that can give other interested girls tips?”

“Sorry,” I apologized. “I shouldn’t have just assumed.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’m sure you had a reason. So? What’s he like?”

I thought about it. What was Dean like? I spent the rest of the hour-long class telling her about the wonderful guy I spent most of my time with. I started out a little hesitantly, but by the end I was excitedly answering any question she threw my way. She was right. It was almost freeing to have this discussion with her, to put my feelings out into the world instead of keeping them trapped inside. When the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I was feeling lighter than I had in a long time.

Ages 16 and 17 December 3, 1996

I groggily opened my eyes, trying to determine what had woken me up and then realized it was the pounding on the adjoining door.

“Jenna?” I heard Sam call. “We were supposed to leave five minutes ago. Are you coming?”

Right. School. Well there’s no way I was going while I was feeling like this. My nose was so stuffed up I couldn’t breathe, my whole body ached, and I was so cold I actually wondered if the door had been left open to the winter air all night.

“I’m not coming today,” I said as loudly as I could manage. My head was pounding, and raising my voice would only make it worse.

“What?” Sam asked, opening the door and peeking his head in.

“I’m not going to school today,” I repeated.

“Are you ok?” He asked, brow wrinkling in concern.

“I think I caught that flu that’s been going around,” I told him miserably.

“That sucks,” he said sympathetically. “Do you need anything before we go?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks, Sam.” He left the room and I curled up in a ball under the covers, trying to warm up.

I thought that would be the end of it, but about a minute later Dean was walking into the room.

“Sam says you’re sick,” he said, clearly already in full caretaker mode.

“Go to school Dean. I can manage by myself for a few hours,” I told him as firmly as I could.

“I don’t mind staying here for a day to take care of you,” he told me, walking over to sit on the edge of my bed.

“I know you don’t, but you really don’t need to. Besides, you have to take Sam anyway, so you might as well just stay there,” I said, trying to reason with him. He looked unconvinced, but nodded in agreement anyway.

“If you’re sure. Do you want me to at least call your dad?” He asked. We’d been here for about a month and a half so far. John and Dad had been able to continually find hunts close by, so instead of moving to a new school again, we were staying put. They were currently a few towns away and wouldn’t be back for at least another week. “I really don’t like leaving you alone.”

“No, don’t. If you call him he’s going to think it’s worse than it is and he’ll either be distracted during the hunt or he’ll come back here, which really isn’t necessary.”

Dean stood up and walked to the door, pausing with his hand on the handle.

“Promise you’ll call me if you need anything,” he insisted, patting his pocket where he kept the cell phone his dad had left us for emergencies.

“I promise.”

~~~~~

When the boys got home from school that afternoon, they immediately came to my room.

“How are you feeling?” Dean asked as he and Sam walked over to me. I was nestled into the couch, doing my best to stay warm under a throw blanket, some movie I wasn’t paying attention to playing on TV.

“Cold,” I replied. I had already put on a second pair of socks that morning in my attempt to warm up and when that hadn’t helped I’d gone into the boys’ room and stolen one of Dean’s oversized sweatshirts. That plus my pair of sweatpants and the blanket and I still felt like my teeth could start chattering any second.

“Here,” Sam said as he grabbed the comforter off of my bed and placed it on top of me.

“Did you eat anything today?” Dean asked.

“Not hungry,” I told him.

“You can’t just not eat,” Sam said as he walked over to the kitchen. “I’ll make you a piece of toast.”

“Have you had anything to drink today,” Dean asked, continuing his evaluation. I sheepishly shook my head.

“Jenna,” he sighed. “If you want me to leave you here alone when you’re sick, you have to do a better job of taking care of yourself. Sam, get her a big glass of water too,” he instructed.

He gently placed the back of his hand against my forehead, checking for a fever.

“And some Ibuprofen,” he added. “So you’re cold and not hungry. Any other symptoms?” He asked me.

“My nose is stuffed,” I told him.

“I can tell,” he said with a small smile.

“And everything hurts,” I admitted.

“Well the Ibuprofen should help with that at least,” he said as Sam came back over

“Here you go,” he said as he handed everything over. I sat up to take everything from him.

“Is that my sweatshirt?” Dean smiled as the blanket fell off my shoulders.

“I told you, I’m cold,” I defended, taking a small nibble of my toast.

“I’m not mad,” he assured me. “I think it’s cute.” I blushed. “I want that whole glass of water gone in the next 15 minutes,” he told me sternly. “And then I’m getting you another one that better be gone by supper.”

I managed to eat the whole piece of toast and finished the glass of water as instructed. I curled back under the blanket while Dean left to refill my water. Sam was sitting at the kitchen table, books spread out before him.

“Are you warming up yet?” Dean asked when he returned with more water.

When I shook my head in answer, he sat beside me, settling himself under the blankets and as close to my side as he could.

“Dean, I don’t want to get you sick,” I protested.

“If I’m gonna get sick, I’m gonna get sick. I’m already surrounded by your germs, I don’t see this making much difference,” he told me.

Sighing, I moved to rest my head on his shoulder. It took about 10 minutes for me to finally start warming up for the first time that day.

~~~~~

The next day was much the same. The boys had slept in my room last night, despite my protests that I would be fine on my own. Dean slept in my dad’s unused bed and Sam slept in mine, bringing in the comforter from his own bed. I stayed on the couch. I had tossed and turned all night and was exhausted.

Dean asked if I wanted him to stay home from school to take care of me. I told him not to. This time he brought me a large glass of water before leaving and told me I’d better keep myself hydrated today.

I took a bath around 1, hoping the warm water would soothe my aching muscles and warm me up. After soaking for about 20 minutes, the heat finally seemed to seep into my body and ease the chill I couldn’t escape.

I was feeling a little better when I got out an hour later, the warmth being a much needed boost to my mental state, but I still ached all over. After getting redressed in my warm clothes, I took a couple of Ibuprofen and tried to sleep before the chills came back.

The rumble of the Impala’s engine is what caused me to give up on my fitful attempt at a nap. I was shivering under the blankets and hadn’t managed more than 20 minutes of sleep.

The boys came in and fussed over me. They were both pleased to hear I’d drank some water today, but I still hadn’t eaten anything. Sam made me another piece of toast and grabbed a container of yogurt for me to eat too.

Dean curled up with me under the blankets again and I sighed, grateful for his warmth. His body heat radiated off of him directly into my side where we were pressed together and the blanket kept the heat trapped.

If I hadn’t been feeling so terrible I might have shied away from this level of closeness. We were very comfortable with physical contact, but this was more than the casual touches I was used to. The closest we had ever come to cuddling in the past was Dean’s arm slung across the back of the couch behind my head when we watched movies. And he wasn’t actually touching me when he did that.

The realization of how close we were was something I wouldn’t process until later when I was feeling better, but for now I just appreciated the comfort he so easily provided me.

~~~~~

“Where’s Dean?” I asked on the third day, spotting Sam sitting at the table reading a book.

Dean had skipped school today. No matter how much I protested, even when I told him I was feeling a little better, he told me he refused to leave me by myself again. He dropped Sam off and came straight back to the motel. He’d kept me company all day and made sure I drank plenty of water. I was even starting to get my appetite back a little bit. I’d managed to eat half a peanut butter sandwich and a few crackers.

I’d fallen asleep shortly before he left to pick Sam up. I halfway sat up in the spot on the couch that had become my semi-permanent residence – a place I left only when my bladder made it absolutely necessary – and looked around the room.

“He went to the store,” Sam told me. “He should be back any minute. Are you feeling any better?” he asked.

"If you wanted to put some poison in my water or something I wouldn't complain," I told him. This might be a bit dramatic, but honestly, if this was going to be the state of my life from now on, then life really wasn't worth living.

“Can’t help you there. I just used the last of my poison last week on my friend Ethan. He had the flu too,” he told me seriously. “Besides,” he continued, switching to a teasing tone, “I don’t have a death wish. Can you imagine what Dean would do to me if he came back and found you dead?”

“I don’t know what to tell you Sam. I guess you need to do a better job of covering your tracks,” I told him. He smiled.

“Seriously though, how are you doing?” He asked again.

I sighed and sat up the rest of the way, noticing the comforter was back on me. I’d started taking it off when Dean was sitting with me, partly so he wasn’t quite so overheated and partly because the throw blanket was enough when combined with his furnace-like body temperature. He must have covered me back up when he left to get Sam.

“I’m doing better,” I told him. “I still can’t seem to keep myself warm, but the migraine and muscle aches are a lot better. My appetite is starting to come back too.”

“Yeah, Dean said you actually ate something today. That’s good. Hopefully you’ll be better tomorrow,” he said.

“Hopefully,” I agreed as we heard the Impala pull up.

A minute later Dean came in the door, hands full with grocery bags, immediately looking towards the couch.

“Hey, you’re up!” he said cheerfully. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good, actually,” I told him, looking at the clock and realizing I’d slept soundly for about an hour and half.

“I’m glad to hear it. You definitely need to catch up on your sleep,” he said as he unpacked the groceries. “I hope you’re still hungry. I got stuff to make chicken noodle soup,” he told me.

That did actually sound really good. I told him as much.

“Good. I’ll get it started,” he said, grabbing a big pot from the cupboard above the stove. “I got some more Ibuprofen too if you need some,” he told me offhandedly. “I noticed we were about out.”

“I’m good. Thanks, though,” I said, not for the first time grateful for his thoughtfulness and attention to detail when it came to taking care of people.

“Do you want some help?” Sam offered his brother, already getting up from the table.

“Nah, I’m good. I’m sure Jenna wouldn’t mind you sitting with her and keeping her warm until I’m done though,” Dean said, looking at me for confirmation.

“Actually, I was just thinking about taking a shower,” I told them as I tossed the blankets onto the couch beside me. I hadn’t showered in three days and I was starting to feel really gross.

“Aww, you hear that Sammy? She doesn’t want to sit with you,” Dean teased.

“You know that’s not it,” I told Sam as I looked to make sure he wasn’t offended.

“I know,” he assured me, waving off his brother’s joke.

I was already getting cold without the blankets, so I hurried off to the bathroom, leaving Sam to his book and Dean to his soup preparation. Closing the door behind me, I immediately turned the water on, setting it to a nice warm temperature, before undressing and stepping in. I let out a content sigh as the hot water hit me.

As I was working on combing the tangles out of my hair, I realized that in my rush to get in the shower, I hadn’t brought any clean clothes with me. Crap. Now what? I considered my options.

I could put on the clothes I’d been wearing for the last three days. I quickly discarded that idea. Though I’d been cold, I’d still been sweating. I wasn’t putting those clothes back on. It would completely defeat the purpose of showering.

I could walk out into the room in my towel to grab my duffel bag. I didn’t like that option much more than the first. While I would be completely covered, something about them seeing me in nothing but a towel, Dean especially, felt extremely… intimate. It wasn’t something I was comfortable with.

I heard a muffled conversation through the bathroom door as I tried to figure out a third option. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could hear them talking. I could hear Sam saying something in an exasperated voice when it occurred to me.

“Sam?” I called as I rinsed the conditioner from my hair.

“Yeah?” he called back, sounding like he was standing just outside the door.

“I forgot to grab my bag. Could you get it for me?” I asked.

“Yeah, no problem,” he told me before his footsteps retreated. I heard more muffled conversation, a door opening and then closing a few seconds later, and finally a knock on the door.

“Here you go,” Sam said as he opened the door and I heard the thump of my bag being set down.

“Thanks, Sam.”

“No problem,” he repeated. The door closed. I stayed in the shower for a few more minutes, appreciating the hot water, before steeling myself to get out into the cold.

I pulled the curtain back, grabbed my towel, and started drying my hair. Once it was no longer dripping, I moved to my duffel bag to find some clothes. I felt a rush of warmth in my chest at the sweatshirt that was laying on top of it. Another one of Dean’s.

Once I was dressed, I spent a few minutes blow drying my hair. I normally didn’t bother, but I didn’t need water dripping down my back for the next hour when I was already cold. I stepped out of the bathroom and saw that the brothers had been busy.

Dean had finished putting the soup together and it was currently sitting on the stove to cook. The blankets I had been using for the past three days were in the corner designated for dirty laundry, and new ones – presumably out of the boys’ currently unused room – were waiting for me on the couch.

Sam and Dean were sitting on either end of the couch, The Untouchables on the TV screen, paused at the beginning. It was one of four movies we had, so we’d seen it a lot, but it was one of Dean’s favorites. Sam and I weren’t tired of it yet either.

Dean patted the spot next to him, and I sat down, curling into his side as he wrapped a blanket around me.

“Feeling better?” He asked.

“Much,” I sighed. “It feels so good to be clean. Thanks for the sweatshirt,” I added as an afterthought.

“You’re welcome,” Sam and Dean responded at the same time, looking at each other in surprise.

“It’s my sweatshirt,” Dean told Sam.

“Yeah, but I’m the one who grabbed it for her,” Sam argued.

“Because I told you to,” Dean countered.

“This is a ridiculous argument,” I said, lightly hitting Dean’s chest and nudging Sam with my foot. “I was thanking both of you anyway, so can we just watch the movie?” Sam scowled, but agreed and pressed play.

~~~~~

We were about three quarters of the way through the movie, soup eaten and bowls dumped in the sink, when there was a knock at the door.

We all looked at each other, confused and a little on edge. Dean’s arm tensed around me and Sam started walking to the bed, going for the knife Dean hid under his pillow.

“Jenna?” The person outside called.

I immediately relaxed. It was just Bailey.

“Let her in,” I told Sam who had paused a foot from the bed. He obeyed, looking through the peephole before opening the door.

Bailey was standing there, as expected, as well as Dylan. The three of us had become pretty close in my time here. I always had friends wherever we went, but I didn’t usually connect with people the way I had with them. They were definitely the best friends I’d made at any school, and we spent a lot of time together outside of class.

“Hey guys,” I greeted as they made their way into the room, stopping a few feet away from the couch. “What are you doing here?”

“Well you haven’t been in school for three days, so we wanted to check on you,” Dylan explained.

“Yeah. I mean at first we just assumed you were sick. But after three days we started to worry,” Bailey added.

“Three days isn’t an unusual amount of time to be sick,” I pointed out.

“No, but then Dean was gone today too,” Bailey said, a smug little glint in her eye as she looked at me. “So we wondered if maybe you guys had left town.”

“Nope. Still here,” I said unnecessarily.

“Good,” Dylan said, slinging a bag off his shoulders and moving to sit in the armchair. “Because we brought homework.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Dean said, standing up and throwing the second blanket over me before making his way to his own room. “Come on Sam,” he called over his shoulder. Sam sighed, but followed Dean out.

“Thanks,” I told them, genuinely thankful they’d thought to get my homework for me, but also not looking forward to having to do it. Bailey grabbed a chair from the table and set it next to the couch.

“So,” Dylan said casually as he took everything out of his bag. “Anything you want to tell us?” He asked teasingly.

“Um… no?” I said, confused.

“Are you sure?” Bailey continued for him. “No new developments you want to share?”

They both looked at me expectantly. I quickly scanned the room, looking for anything that might stand out to them. Not seeing anything, I just slowly shook my head.

“No, nothing. Why? Is there something new with you guys?” I asked, thinking maybe this was their way of segueing into giving me some type of exciting news. They just looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

“I can’t tell if you’re just stubbornly ignoring it, or genuinely oblivious to what we’re saying,” Dylan told me.

“And if that’s the case, it really makes me question if you’ve been telling us the truth,” Bailey said.

“The truth about what?” I asked, starting to get frustrated.

“You and Dean looked awfully cozy,” Bailey stated, not beating around the bush anymore.

I blushed. Oh, right. That. I thought.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I told them, not wanting them to make too many assumptions. They knew very well how I felt about Dean.

“Well how about you let me tell you what it looks like, and then you can tell me if it’s right or not?” Bailey said. She didn’t wait for my answer before continuing. “It looks like you’ve been sick for a few days. When Dean didn’t show up to school today, it looked like he might have gotten sick too, if you guys hadn’t just up and left. Now that we’ve seen him, I think we’re in agreement that he’s not sick?” Bailey looked to Dylan for confirmation.

“He didn’t look sick,” Dylan agreed.

“So, it looks like Dean stayed here to take care of you. Now the way the two of you were cuddled up together,” she mused, smirking at me. “That looked like two people who were very comfortable with each other. In a more than friends way. Which looks like either you haven’t been entirely truthful about the status of your relationship with him or there have been new developments. Am I missing anything?” She asked Dylan.

“No, that about covers it I think,” Dylan said.

“I know exactly how it looks,” I started.

“Of course you do because we just told you,” Dylan cut in. “So which is it?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Were you not telling us the truth before about you two – which I don’t find likely, by the way – or has something new happened?” He asked. I could tell they were both excited for me. They had spent plenty of time talking with me about Dean, and they knew how crazy I was about him.

“Neither,” I told them, seeing immediately that they were unconvinced. “Seriously,” I insisted. “Dean is a total mother hen, especially when one of us gets sick,” I explained. “If you don’t believe me, there’s a pot of homemade soup in the fridge. Dean never cooks. None of the guys do.”

“That doesn’t explain why you were practically in his lap,” Bailey fired back.

“Okay, first of all, that’s a huge exaggeration,” I said. Bailey snorted. “It is! We were sitting next to each other, that’s not ‘in his lap.’ Dylan, back me up here!” I pleaded.

“Well…” he looked between us, considering his answer carefully. “I do think that was a bit of an exaggeration,” he said.

“Ha!” I shot at Bailey.

“But,” he continued, “you were pretty snuggled up with him. More than you realize, I think.”

“Ha!” Bailey shot back.

“Whatever,” I conceded. “It’s still not what you think. I’ve just been really cold. As you might notice,” I pointedly waved the corner of the blanket. “He’s just been sitting with me to help me stay warm.”

“You still looked awfully comfortable with each other,” Bailey said, not ready to entirely give up.

“Because we are,” I said exasperatedly. “I told you about how we constantly travel and our dads aren’t around much. The three of us are pretty much all we have. People in that sort of situation tend to be pretty close.”

“I guess,” Bailey sighed.

“So do you guys cuddle like that a lot?” Dylan asked, moving on, but not entirely changing the subject. I blushed again.

“No,” I told him without elaborating.

“Honestly?” he pressed. “You know you can tell us. We won’t judge. Plus, I’d say that would be a good sign-”

“Really. This is the first time we’ve ever… cuddled.” I told him, not wanting to hear another speech listing all the reasons the two of them were certain Dean liked me back. Despite their intentions, it really wasn’t helpful. It could really only mean one of two things.

One, they were reading into things. They were wrong and he didn’t like me back. Or two, they were right. He did like me. But it didn’t matter because he clearly had no intentions of doing anything about it. I didn’t know which was worse.

“So,” Bailey cut in, breaking the growing tension. “Tell us all about mother hen Dean.”

I smiled and told them about how I’d spent the last few days. They updated me on the goings on at school and then gave me a quick rundown of the homework, telling me to let them know if I got stuck on anything. I thanked them and we said our goodbyes.

Either through eavesdropping – I sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case – or, the more likely option, watching out the window, Sam and Dean knew when my friends left and immediately came back into the room.

“You want to finish the movie?” Dean asked as he moved a pile of papers onto the coffee table. Sam settled himself back on his end of the couch and Dean pulled me back into his side.

“Yeah, sounds good,” I said, resting my head on his chest. I was much more aware of our position after Bailey and Dylan’s visit, but I decided to enjoy the closeness while it lasted.

When the movie was over, Sam went to the kitchen to grab some snacks while Dean flipped through the channels on TV. Sam came back with beef jerky, Doritos, microwavable popcorn and a bottle of water for me. I wasn’t hungry, but accepted the water.

Dean stopped on a channel playing some old western movie. As he settled his arm around me, I decided that I would happily spend every night like this.

Chapter 4

#supernatural #spn #fanfic #soulmates #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #ofc #dean winchester x ofc #dean winchester x soulmate!ofc #supernatural fanfiction #soulmate!au #so long

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