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straykeedz · 7 months

Text

day 3: changbin + blowjob

©straykeedz

tw: changbin’s stressed so reader literally asks him to use their mouth as a fleshlight (i’m sorry💀); oral (m receiving, duh 🙄); a bit of throat fucking; cum swallowing; mention of showering together; ♡

wc: 2,1k

this is part of my kinktober masterlist. you can find my regular masterlist here (tho it will not be updated until the end of kinktober). ♡

smut below the cut so minors dni.

🔖 (open): @linos-kitten ; @luneskies ; @kxcies-blog ; @idunnomanmynamewastaken ; @cessixja ; @stolasisyourparent ; @kookiesbunny ; @xoxo-xoxo-bunny ; @ivyskzsworld ; @mal-lunar-28 ; @leetaste ; @sunnykynnie ; @channiesgoodgirl ; @seonghwatoothless ; @mrsminho ; @seungminluv3 ; @jin-from-the-block ; @aaasia111 ; @sulkygyu ; @whosanaanyway ; @y-ur--I ; @vixensss ; @nightimescapes ; @freckleboilix ; @dreamingaboutjisung ; @yourbeomiebear ; ♡

to join the taglist you haven to be over 18 (please have an age indicator on your profile) and have a profile picture. no blank blogs. ♡

✧

When you enter your shared bedroom, you’re surprised to find Changbin sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees as his face is buried in his hands. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence in the room, too focused in whatever’s going on inside his head. You let out a heavy sigh as you make your way inside the room - the faint light of the lamp on his nightstand being the only source of light in your bedroom. You don’t know what’s up with your fiancé lately, but whatever it is - it’s starting to worry you.

You get closer to him, but he’s still not aware of you being in the same room as him, so you call his name to get his attention. “Binnie…”, your voice is sweet, and your fingers immediately find their way to his soft, curly hair, freshly washed.

He immediately snaps his head up in your direction, letting his arms fall limp along his sides as he stares at you like an abandoned puppy, big, brown eyes looking into yours. He looks absolutely wrecked, defeated, and you hate it. You want to ease the weight on his shoulders, but you’re also aware of the fact that he doesn’t like to be forced to open up about his feelings.

“Y/n…”, he calls your name softly, spreading his legs even wider to accommodate your body between them, wrapping his limbs around your figure and resting his forehead on your stomach, you don’t stop caressing his soft hair.

“Everything alright, Bin?”, you murmur, and you feel him shaking his head against your stomach. “Wanna talk about it?”

He sighs deeply. “Life’s just being a bitch lately.”, he says, tone defeated and tired.

“Something happened at work?”, you try.

Being a worldwide famous idol and producer is not easy, Changbin learned it the hard way. You honestly understand where this is coming from, and just wish you could ease some of his pressure from his shoulders.

“Not really, the usual.”, he mutters. “I’ve been feeling unproductive lately, that’s all. Can’t find the inspiration and everything I produce is shit.”

Now you get why he’s been sulking more than usual the past days. Changbin hates when he’s feeling uninspired - he doesn’t like to be forced to write lyrics or produce music, as he feels it’s not genuine. So, he find himself stuck in a limbo: being stressed because unproductive and being unproductive because stressed, and it’s driving him crazy.

“I think you should take some time off to yourself.”, you suggest, placing your hands on his broad shoulders to give him a massage, knowing he loves feeling your hands on him. “You know, just a couple of days - you’re too stressed.”

He practically moans when your fingers press on the muscles of his clavicle. Another defeated sigh leaves his mouth, and you feel his strong arms hold you tighter as he nuzzles his face against your stomach.

“I can’t do that.”, he grunts. “They need me, I can’t take a day off, let alone a couple.”, you can’t see him, but he rolls his eyes. Honestly, he wishes he could just not go to work for a while and rest peacefully and maybe enjoy a good meal instead of eating instant ramen every other day, but the agency’s been biting his ass and pressuring him into writing more music, and they’d never allow him to do that.

“Mh.”, you hum sadly, sincerely concerned about him. “This just means we’ll have to find another way to get you relaxed and to relieve some of your stress…”, you trail, the grip on his shoulder a bit more intense now, and you hope he got the hint. He snaps his head up to meet your eyes, and by the smirk that appears on his lips, it looks like he did.

“Oh, yeah?”, he raises his eyebrows, grinning. “And what did you have in mind?”, he purrs, his hands moving from your thighs to your ass, cupping and squeezing the flesh as you bite your lip.

“Mhh, I was thinking of something on the line of…”, you bend a little to whisper the following words in his ear, knowing it’ll drive him crazy. “You using my mouth like a fleshlight to get off.” When you pull away, you find him looking at you with his eyes wide open and his mouth agape, shocked by your words. “Would you like that?”

It’s a stupid question and an understatement, Changbin thinks, because you should see the way his cock practically came to life as soon as his brain processed what you’d said. So, instead of answering with words like a normal human being - he frantically nods, looking at you with big, brown puppy eyes as he licks his lips in anticipation.

“How do you want me?”, you ask, and he feels like he’s about to pass out.

“On your knees, love, please.” Changbin’s tone is demanding yet sweet at the same time - even when he’s in the mood to dominate you in bed, he can’t find it in himself to be too rough or too harsh with you, nor to offend you with words, even though you reassured him plenty of times that it’s okay if he does, that you like it.

You nod eagerly, a smile spreading on your face as you kneel before him, positioning yourself between his spread thighs - thankfully, there’s a fluffy rug at the end of the bed, so that you don’t hurt your knees when you go down on him, though it’s not the reason why you bought it. Maybe.

You automatically reach for his cock, still confined in his sweats, but rock hard nonetheless, and squeeze it through the thin fabric. Changbin doesn’t usually wear boxers to sleep, he doesn’t like how tight they feel against his skin, so that allows to feel him a bit closer. However, it’s not enough, and Changbin swiftly hooks his thumb on the hem of his sweats and pulls them off, lifting his body from the mattress just enough to let them slide off his ass and thighs.

When you finally wrap your fingers around his length, Changbin hisses and closes his eyes shut, too blessed in the feeling. It’s been a while since you’d last done that - with his busy schedule, he also had had to sacrifice long, steamy, lovemaking sessions, and your intimacy had mainly sticked to quickies or spooning sex lately, with basically zero foreplay.

You spit on your fingers to coat them in your saliva, which you use as a lubricant, before starting to jerk him off - slowly, just how he likes it. When he does it to himself, he does it fast, but when you’re the one with your hand around his cock - he wishes the feeling would last forever. He kicks his head back when you brush his slit with the pad of your thumb, gripping the sheets beneath him as you spread his pre-cum all over his cockhead.

“Mhh, like that.”, he moans, cock twitching in your hand. “I love it when you touch me.”, he opens his eyes to look at you.

You smile at him. “And I love touching you.”, you bite your lower lip as you bring your mouth closer to his dick.

Changbin feels his soul leave his body when you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, warm, wet mouth engulfing him - sensation so good it’s almost enough to make him cum on the spot. He almost forgot how your mouth feels like around him, and the feeling sends a shiver down his spine and a pleasant tingle in his cock, all the way from his base to the tip.

“God, how I love your mouth.”, his words are followed by a shaky breath as he feels you taking him deeper in your mouth - albeit not without struggling because of his girth. Changbin brings one hand to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb as he witness your mouth being stuffed with his fat cock.

You pull away, letting his cock fall out of your mouth as you continue to jerk him off, a string of saliva connecting your mouth to it, a sight that has Changbin biting on his lower lip. “Wanna fuck it?”, you ask, a bit breathlessly.

Changbin’s eyes widen and his breath gets stuck in his throat. “Yes.”, he responds, equally breathlessly. “God, yes.”

Changbin sucks in a breath when you wrap your lips around him once again, and he wastes no time in tangling his fingers in your hair in a very messy ponytail, careful to not pull your hair too hard as he slowly pushes you down on his cock, slurping sounds blessing his ears as you sink deeper on his length. He can feel your spit dripping from your mouth and all over his shaft, some ending on his balls, and his other hand grips even tighter on the bedsheets as he flexes the muscles of his thighs in order to control himself.

An obscene whimper leaves his mouth when you gag around him. “Oh, my God.”, goosebumps all over his skin. “Y-Yeah, just like that.”, he moans. “Choke on my cock like that.”

He kicks his head back as he continues to push your mouth on his cock to the point the tip of your nose is buried in the soft, trimmed hair on his pubic bone, his tip hitting the back of your throat with each movement as you hum around him. When your other hand finds its way to his balls, he nearly chokes on air and pulls you away from his cock, giving you time to regain your breath. When he looks at you - you have mascara running all over your face, and saliva drooling on your chin, mixed with his arousal. He thinks it’s the most beautiful sight ever, but of course he’s biased.

“Gonna fuck your throat now, love.”, his tone is sweet even when he says such filthy things to you. “Tap on my thigh if it gets too much, alright?”, he caresses your cheek sweetly.

You nod eagerly, and he stands up from the bed, towering above you. You moan when he wraps his own fingers around the base of his cock and slaps your mouth with his hard length, albeit lightly. You immediately part your lips when he aligns his cock to your mouth, welcoming him inside of you once again. Then, his hands move to each side of your face to keep you in place as he starts to rock his hips.

At first, he goes slow, his cock only halfway inside your mouth, giving you time to adjust to his length and to regulate your breathing through your nose. Once he’s made sure you’re okay, he starts to thrust inside your mouth, each time deeper and deeper until he’s fully buried inside your throat.

“You’re doing so good, love.”, he moans, pulling out almost all the way only to thrust back inside your mouth, squelching sounds filling the room together with his whimpers and your hums, clearly pleased with the way he’s using your throat to get off. After all, it’s what you asked him to do. “Looking so good with my cock in your throat.”, he pulls away a couple of locks of hair from your face, then entangles his fingers in your hair once again as he starts to thrust faster and faster, evidently close to finding his release.

“Mhh.”, his moans start to become more high-pitched, and his cock is throbbing in your throat. It’s only a matter of seconds before he shoots his load in your throat, reaching his yearned and deserved orgasm. “Go- God, I’m - fuck, I’m cumming, I’m cumming.”, he chants, knees buckling a little when he finally releases inside your mouth, hot spurts of his seed filling your mouth, some landing on your tongue, which you swallow gladly.

He pulls his cock out of you as soon as he’s made sure he’s given you until the very last drop of his cum, letting you regain your regular breathing as he brushes the skin of your face with his thumbs, trying to fix or at least clean your smudged mascara from under your eyes, smiling softly at you. He just loves you so much.

“Let me grab you a towel.”, he tells you sweetly, but before he can leave the room you stand up, legs feeling a bit shaky.

You shake your head as a no. “Come in the shower with me and then we can cuddle?”

Yes, Changbin is sure he’s found the love of his life in you.

✧

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-> don't forget to reblog to support me if you enjoyed reading my works and to let me know your thoughts, i love reading your feedbacks! ♡

#seo changbin smut #changbin smut #changbin #changbin hard thoughts #changbin hard hours #stray kids smut #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #skz smut #skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours #changbin x reader #changbin x you #seo changbin hard thoughts #seo changbin hard hours

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islandofsages · 3 months

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Hey ! Can I ask for a male!reader that is a 4th or 3rd year at the NRC (in the dorm you want), and Yuu, Grim and Ortho after seeing him just decided to adopt him like their father ?

The reader is the definition of a good father, and Yuu, Grim and Ortho made him sign the adoption contract (give by Azul).

(Maybe the reader can be the boyfriend of Idia ?)

I just want a reverse adoption with Grim, Yuu and Ortho bc they need a good father.

characters: ortho, yuu and grim with fourth year male reader

tags: platonic, fluff, fic format

warnings: none

author's notes: sorry i didnt do the characters separately, i think they would have similar reactions. also reader isnt with idia bc im keeping this blog fairly romance-free :) thank you for giving me an excuse to write fourth year reader tho, the concept is so interesting and fun to explore!! and hes not in any specific dorm, wanted to keep it ambiguous hehe. honestly this whole thing was my own spin so word count: 974 words

You haven't gone back to NRC in a while. Despite the absolute chaos that goes on way more than often in that school, you’ve grown to harbor fondness for that familiarity. Luckily, you're due for a report of the progress of your internship. Instead of merely sending an email to your professor, you’ll go meet up with him yourself and check up on your underclassmen (maybe even get to know the freshmen) in the meantime.

You are just one of the many seniors of NRC but you found that your dorm members are quite fond of you for whatever reason. So when you come back for that short time period, a few of them come to greet you and catch up with you. Apparently, the abandoned dorm is now occupied by not one but two new students. You didn't even know there was an abandoned dorm!

“One of them can't even use magic and came from a different universe or something? And one of them is literally a magical monster! The school totally got weirder when you left, (Y/N),” one of your dorm members explains. You try to imagine it in your head. Yeah, no, if nobody told you that’s exactly what happened, you wouldn’t have known. You only believe the dorm member because you trust them enough.

“Oh, and remember Idia? The one with the robot brother? He’s a housewarden now. And his brother's a student now. He's an actual freshman,” more gossip makes their way to you. Your eyes widen at the news. You feel like you may remember them, the Shroud brothers - you could tell Idia was trying really hard to stay on the down low so you did him a favor and left him alone for the most part.

You don’t stay at your dorm for very long - you did come to NRC for a reason - and that was to send in that report of yours. Though you already dropped it off before checking up on your underclassmen, you plan just walking around school and taking in the sights that were once so familiar to you. And you haven’t even really graduated yet.

You walk down the hallways and say hi to whoever you recognize, basking in that comfortable familiarity. Some friendlier students stop to chat with you and to be perfectly honest, you feel a little old compared to everyone. You don’t mind but what’s rubbing it in is how some of the students are calling you “Dad” to tease you. You know they’re being playful for the most part but you can’t help but feel a little awkward with the nickname.

Then you run into those three.

You recognize the younger Shroud brother - hard not to with his flames for hair - but you can only guess the other two are the new students occupying that abandoned dorm; one’s uniform seems foreign and the other is not even remotely humanoid. They're definitely eye-catching, especially together. And apparently, you're pretty eye-catching too, with the way they lay their eyes on you while you were talking to another student.

The younger Shroud brother leads the group as they make their way to you excitedly. You're already preparing yourself for what you assume is a normal conversation with these kids. Too bad normal is the wrong thing to expect from these three, you will come to know.

“(Y/N)! You’re back at school!” The younger Shroud - Ortho, that’s his name - exclaims as he flies slightly upwards, happy to see you again. The other two look at you curiously, head tilted to the side and all. You offer them a jolly laugh as you tell the other two who you are and update all of them of how your internship is going. They’re eerily silent when you’re relaying your story but you appreciate not being interrupted. ‘What polite freshmen,’ you thought.

Until they aren’t, because they interrupt you with-

“Can you adopt us?!”

Their eyes twinkle as they clasp their hands together and gaze at you with their best puppy-eye look. Oh, they’re being genuine. This is escalating way too quickly - the nickname was weird enough, you’re not sure what to feel about a bunch of age-ambiguous freshmen wanting a fellow (though presumably older) student to adopt them. You sigh and put on your best smile so as to not disappoint them.

Truth be told, it really isn’t as bad or weird as it sounds. People were already teasing you about it so might as well run along with it. But still. Legally adopting these freshmen would still be too much for you to handle. After all, you’re still going to be preoccupied with your internship. You won’t be present for most of their school years and the last thing you want to be is a father who forgot to bring the milk back home.

You tell them you will think about it, in case they were actually joking and you’re somehow dumb enough to not catch on. They agree to allow you to take your time… but then they start muttering about “getting a contract from Azul” and you immediately step in to stop them from taking any drastic measures.

After that whole ordeal, you leave school more exhausted than you thought you would be. After all, three freshmen literally asked you to become their father and adopt them and were about to get you to agree to some contract. But then, you find out, they turn out to be the best children you’ve ever had.

They can be a handful, sure - Ortho is way too curious for his own good sometimes, Grim can’t sit still and picks fights with people often, and Yuu is… Yuu. Being a single father is definitely not the easiest thing to do with them as your children.

Yet you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #platonic twst x reader #platonic twisted wonderland x reader #twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #ortho shroud #ortho shroud x reader #yuu twst #grim twst

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haunted-headset · 4 months

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hey friend! tis me back again hahah

this is gonna sound so random but anyways i was thinking.. reader coming home to hear wilbur shouting away in his room (he’s streaming for once LMAO) and deciding to just chill in the living room/bedroom for a bit. and then when wilbur’s finished and he surprised to see reader and he’s so happy to them and just aah :,) 🫶 and i had the idea of smth like a cozy night in with wilbur?? and i was wondering if u had any thoughts on that or if u wanted to write about it maybe! no pressure at all to do any of that tho <3

i hope ur having a nice dayyy! 💕

💗 You're Back! 💗

a/n: stopppppp this is so cute!! also why did my writing get really good during this

summary: read the ask

contains: excited Wilbur, tired reader, tooth-rotting fluff, pet names, kissing, & silly Haunty shenanigans overall

words: 702

tags: @zuuriell @somebody-v @vibestillaxxx @ax-y10 @joviepog@themonsterunderurmom @ogelizasoot @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza@artistphantom @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @finleyforevermore @poraphia @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @mysticalsoot @21-cats-in-a-trenchcoat @strangleetomz (let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged)

At around 5pm, you finally got home after an exhausting day at work. You, of course, loved your job; it was your dream job, after all! Some days were more tiring than others.

You took your shoes off & put them near the door next to Wilbur's scuffed, untied Dr. Martens that had lost their shine years ago, unlike your darling boyfriend, who always seemed to have some sort of lively spark about him that nobody could quite have for themselves, which is rather peculiar, since he writes incredibly heart-wrenching songs nowadays. The shoes were massive compared to yours, almost like a clown's.

In the office, you heard shouting & laughter. You didn't think your boyfriend would be streaming, since he hadn't streamed since October, & he never mentioned any upcoming streams. Maybe he was treating the livestream like he treated Mammalian Sighing Reflex & did it unannounced to surprise people. Not wanting to interrupt him, you walked into the bedroom to take off your work clothes & change into sweatpants & Wilbur's brown hoodie that still had the smell of earthy, soothing cologne & petrichor lingering on the soft fabric. You checked yourself in the mirror. You looked okay, except for the fact that your eyes were drooping & you looked almost like you were going to collapse & fall asleep on the floor if you did any excessive movements. You yawned & stretched your arms above your head, hearing a few cracks & pops as you did such from not cracking anything all day. You then cracked your neck & knuckles, & both of them made loud pop & crack & crunch sounds. You finger-combed through your hair, tugging through the knots while wincing. You looked very dead. Abandoning the rule you made for yourself not to bother Wilbur during streams, you slowly opened the office door just a crack, making sure not to make any loud creaks.

"So, I think that'll be all today, chat!" Wilbur smiled. "Thank you all for coming. I'm so sorry I haven't been streaming as much, I've just got Lovejoy things to do. We're all very busy all the time. Here, let's have you all raid...Philza. Go raid him. Bye, chat!" He clicked the "Stop streaming" button on his PC & sighed. Since his spinny chair was still facing the PC setup, you were able to come around & hug him from behind.

"Hello," you mumbled sleepily. "I'm back."

"Angel! You're back!" Wilbur sprang up from his seat & picked you up & spun you around, causing you to laugh. When he stopped, he sat down on the chair with you in his lap. "How was work, love? Everything go okay at work?"

You shrugged. "It wasn't bad, per se, but it was just exasperating. Nobody was rude or crass to me, but I'm just really tired." Wilbur made a small "ah" sound & nodded.

"Do you want to go cuddle in bed & drink some tea?" Wilbur asked, playing with your fingers. "Do you want to do that? Or we could do something else."

"Tea & cuddles sound nice," you said. Wilbur nodded & picked you up & walked you to the kitchen. He still kept you in his arms while he made tea, softly asking you which tea flavor you preferred & which mug you wanted, or if you even wanted a mug or if you just wanted a glass. You two waited in the kitchen while the tea was being prepared, with Wilbur rocking you back & forth to a symphony only he could hear. When the whistling of the tea kettle echoed through the kitchen, he poured the two mugs of tea & handed you one as he grabbed the other & walked back to the bedroom. He cautiously placed you on the bed to make sure neither of you spilled the tea onto the soft white sheets. When he sat down on the bed, you immediately scooted over to him & cuddled up to him with his arm over your shoulders & your head buried in the crook of his neck. & you two just stayed like that for an uncountable amount of time.

Thank goodness you came back.

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erwinsvow · 2 months

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I know this isn’t the usual speed around here but slightly pathetic whimpery s1 Rafe is to die for!! He’s obviously cocky and entitled but it’s in a more spoiled and almost bratty way so he throws his little temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way… I think s1 has seriously overlooked toxic Rafe potential

- 💓

wait i know im allllll about season 2 rafe like hes loml seriously but i just started rewatching season 1 and i dont like his hair lol but hes so toxic and gross. i know everyone on here has been talking more about him and like fratboy rafe and i usually refrain but something about being his gf through all of season 1..... im hornee.

in particular im thinking of like how he acts so douchey with everyone in public but its so visible he has a huge soft spot for you.. waves you over when he's just hanging out with his friends to check in that you're doing okay, goes and gets you a fresh drink before giving you a kiss and sending you off back to ur friends.. makes some gross comment about how you were screaming for him in the back of his truck last night after you walk away... kelce is like bro. i always sit in the back.

you'd be lurking in his bedroom when he goes down to 'have a chat' with his dad, like when he gets yelled at about the generators. comes back all angry and literally folds you in half and fucks you until you cry because you are his favorite way to calm down <3 ... (i have no idea what the vibes on this blog are and i dont wanna make people mad but he gets so manipulative... esp if you're just like i don't feeling like fucking again right now or esp in public!!!! which he looooves.... starts going on a tangent about how he provides for you and takes care of you and he's the man of the house and if he needs to relax you should be on your knees already.... sorry omg if ur reading this n youre starting to hate me i apologize in advance. i never talk about scummy scummy rafe but hes real and hes so hot. fully wants you to be like a hyperactive horny bunny just waiting for his dick at all times.... i would 110% start doing it too... ANYWAYS)

he's so spoiled so he likes spoiling you with anything you want... most of the stuff he gets you is pretty much for him tho... gets hard because you wear an RC necklace.. lots of pretty lingerie and babydolls that he likes to rip up...handcuffs because duh.. it's almost always you in the handcuffs but every once in a while he can be convinced to get in them lol

but the temper tantrums are soooo real like especially if you're out with friends or made plans with your parents. like he seriously loves making you abandon your plans to come see him. but then youll show up and hes at a party and selling or ignoring you and ofc you cry because it's like he made you come here and not even giving you any attention... then he'll drag you out by your hair and fuck you SOOO mean in the back of his truck talkin about "just needed this dick, yeah? s'okay, dad's gonna give it to ya hard. then you'll be good as gold won'tya?" ugh. hes so mean.

im still in my rewatch but the scene where him and topper beat up pope:( this especially hits sooo hard w my pogue reader but i can just imagine that being the cause of your first real fight, like you're so upset he can be that cruel but there goes his manipulation tactics.. telling you he needs to be a proactive man to protect you and his friends and his turf. he's not letting anyone walk all over him, regardless if you like them or not. fucks you until you forget all about your pogue friends, and then you end up bandaging his bloody hand for him.

ooohh and when they go to that movie showing.. can just imagine curling up on a lawnchair with him under a blanket, him n the boys are on high alert for jj and pope but he keeps a tight arm around you, goes and gets you a soda and popcorn which you two share.. you don't want him to leave and you whine when he does.. can just imagine the scene where jj and pope turn back to look at him when kie tells them rafe is right behind them. rafe is staring so hard at them while ur tryna feed him a piece of popcorn. LOL

#waiiiit i love you babe you just made me actually want to write for s1 rafe. bye HAH #do you prefer like these long winded explanations or a real full on drabble in reply?#love u !#📮 asks #💓 anon

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beartitled · 5 days

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Can you do some more comics with Francis mosses

I can, but the problem is

That I’m pretty much out of ideas and I’m progressively getting tired of tnmn fandom

Ppl who look at my tags probably noticed that 😓

More of my thoughts under read more for curious ppl

(short answer maybe I will do more, but I desperately need a break from tnmn)

! Just a general warning: this came out kinda long + sort of venty

Originally I planned to do 1 comic drop and move on, but got stuck bc ppl liked tnmn comics and kept asking for more (and still do-)

Generally I don’t mind doing more if the ideas are there, but I want to address this: I’m tired

I know blowing up is usually a good thing and I appreciate people enjoying my stuff

But it’s exhausting to see that tnmn is the only type of content which is relevant, to the point that my own projects or stuff I enjoy are just kinda.. ignored

It’s fair – again my blog is heavily fandom based

(+Tsp were and still is kinda the focus)

But with tnmn fandom it’s a bit… different

Maybe I’m biased and it’s just my negative experience with tiktok comments

Remember this art?

cleaning up transphobic comments was.. um tough

Again, I get that you can’t be in that neat bubble completely sheltered from negativity

Humans are just assholes by nature really/j

So I was expecting the backlash, but not that much

I think maybe tsp fandom spoiled me a bit (in a good way), bc I got a feeling that everyone in tsp was positive of any lgbt+ headcanons and just generally more supportive

(don’t get me wrong, there ARE problems in tsp community too, taking narrators design controversy into account as one of the examples)

Obviously every fandom always has it’s own issues, show me at least one fandom that didn’t have some sort of meaningless controversy or some sort of problematic people in it

It happens

But it leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes

And for me personally it only added to not so pleasant experience

The thing I also noticed, when I interacted with other fandoms

Ppl wrote positive stuff first and foremost, not really asking for anything

Here it’s just “hey more. I want more. Do more. Do this character. Do this. Do more.”

The only reason I kept doing more, because likes, reblogs, views – these comics get a ton of attention

there is a audience to please alright

But this thing comes with a pressure tho

and it shows

so let me illustrate

This bookcase

Is my shame

Because I was so rushing, I just copied and colour corrected this bookcase from my diploma comic and pasted it here in hopes for the best

💥IT LOOKS HORRIBLE OKAY💥

Usually it’s normal to take materials used in other projects

the not so normal part is

to leave it like that because your stress reducing tea doesn’t work and you don’t really have time to redraw it

my m en ta l s t a t e i s f i n e ah ah h ah ah

Ok but jokes aside: it’s really tempting, to just abandon everything and produce content like some sort of content farm

But I don’t want to, I’m forcing myself and it makes my art worse

Yes it’s subtle, new people won’t even see this

But I’m not improving

And I don’t enjoy just anxiously popping out comics because everyone keeps asking

I can give it my all to something when I’m passionate, but just “hey I’m getting attention” is not the best motivator

Attention like that does get to my head, I know that I will probably give in again and do more, bc I will compare my posts engagement

But what’s the point of recognition, when you feel.. so numb about it…

Sorry for a mountain of text and thank you for ppl who actually took their time to read it

It’s been building up for a while and I feel like people need to know the reason why I’m not so enthusiastic about making “more”

I’m not necessarily completely abandoning this fandom

I still plan to do ask/suggestions event for STP (I’m just making sure I can dedicate my time to it, that’s why it’s taking so long) and I can add tnmn to the mix

Like STP+tnmn kind of deal

But for now – I need a break

At least for a little bit

#bear answers #vent post #nothing serious just a bunch not so positive thoughts #tnmn #that’s not my neighbor #tnmn fandom #thoughts #fandom thoughts #apologies for possible mistakes/typos

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