#sorry i am putting this in the main tag i want other people to think about this

[svtskneecaps]

feel like the global tasks sweep strat should probably be nerfed somehow. my thought would be, give each team an individual ten minute overall cooldown on global task claims. that is to say, a certain team can only claim one global task per ten minutes. say, deliver gas masks, and then in ten minutes you're allowed to deliver tea, and then after another ten minutes you can claim hot chocolate.

another teams would be able to claim a global task for bananas during this time, and their own ten minute cooldown would start.

(the global tasks can either keep their individual ten minute cooldown [i.e. after tea is claimed no one else can claim tea for ten minutes] or a slightly shorter cooldown, say 5-7 minutes)

when a global task is claimed, everyone is notified, right? if not, in my hypothetical, they will be.

then, a team trying to sweep six tasks at once would actually take sixty minutes to do, allowing another team to swoop in and have a chance to stop it in cinematic, entertaining fashion rather than tubbo having to grind resources and then log out in front of the merchant to counter this, which is boring for everyone (including the person delivering). plus, if a team cuts it down to the last second and ends up getting delayed, they physically wouldn't have time to make a delivery, meaning even being a BIT of a nuisance could be a viable strategy, even if you can't manage to kill; if you can STALL you could still wreck their plans.

that's my dream anyway idk i'm not a game designer. just think it would be interesting for most players

(i elaborate under)

red team would have to shake up their strategies, which is fun since they're a team that kinda has to rely more on strategy than outright brawn (overall the team's pvp can't be relied on unless they have carre or phil, as seen today when pierre, bad, and etoiles attacked phil cellbit foolish and baghera, and cellbit and foolish both died to etoiles in the attack, despite it being a 4 on 1 at the time. baghera was killed by bad soon after. phil was the one to get the kills. the first day, when blue attacked [niki, tubbo, and bad as i recall] carre got both kills)

the other teams would then still have a way to stop a global sweep since a sweep would have to start earlier, allowing not only more time to arrive at global to pvp about it, but ALSO allowing another team to swoop in and steal the goal out from under the team again

i'm gonna use it in a scenario bc i'm badboyhalo and i can't stop myself from making examples:

so, tonight, if the proposed cooldown was in place, bad and tubbo would both still had roughly 17 minutes when red team would have HAD to start the sweep process if they wanted all six global tasks: 1 hour until the server closed at absolute MINIMUM. more for safety's sake.

therefore, in this scenario, there's a lot to happen

blue team could wait at globals, knowing red will probably try this strategy, and attempt or perhaps SUCCEED in killing red. if they kill red entirely, the operation is a wash; red doesn't have to gear to come back from scratch and take out blue team, and even if they could, the travel time to return to globals alone would mean they wouldn't get all the global tasks, potentially meaning they don't take the lead. if blue team is unable to kill red and dies themselves or has to retreat, but succeeds in delaying red, red would face the same problem.

if red sends in all of the task items on one person, and that person dies, even if the rest survived, blue could loot the items from that person and would be able to either use the items themselves, if green is currently the owner, or could run away with the items, effectively wasting red's time and again, meaning they wouldn't get all tasks claimed even if they were able to overtake the runner and reclaim their items.

i'm unclear what would happen if red divided the task items between them since it seems like the person claiming the task doesn't have to have all (or any? again, unclear) the items in THEIR inventory in order to claim so long as a teammate is nearby with the items in their inv (evidence: pac's vod "voltei... o que tá acontecendo no QSMP?!" at roughly 3:00:00; tubbo claims tea and tea is taken out of pac's inventory. i don't know the limits of this strategy)

blue team also has time to swoop in and steal a global task out from under red during this time. say, if red team had claimed the task for 10 tea leaves, upping the price to 15 tea leaves, and then blue team snuck in and claimed the task and set the price up to 20 tea leaves, (since the proposed 10 minute cooldown on claims would be TEAM LIMITED; red's cooldown applying to red only and so on). if red waited until the last second, they wouldn't have the time to reclaim this task even if they did have the resources, possibly forcing them to start their sweep earlier to counter this possibility, at which point team members who had logged on earlier and are out of time by the end of the night, OR members who live in time zones that don't allow them to stay up until server close, may have an easier shot at participating in defending against a global sweep.

all of this DIRECT CONFLICT would make for good audience entertainment and heighten the stakes of an attempted global sweep, since it would practically have to be one team defending globals for an hour while they pipe all their resources into it, knowing that if they die another team could easily swipe their task resources and use it themselves (along with the rest of their gear). it makes it more interesting, while still mostly viable.

plus it would force more strategizing for red team which is maybe just a personal plus, i just really like seeing people planning both in advance and in spur of the moment. it's really satisfying to see how a plan comes together and succeeds or fails; plus, since red team is the main team using this strategy at the moment and their main draw and strength as a team is cohesion and communication this would be completely fucking riveting for me as a viewer so maybe this is just a personal thing. but i really really think it would be fun

but again, i'm not a game designer, or a qsmp player, or a qsmp admin, or honestly even really a gamer? so maybe i'm off my rocker and out of my gourd and this isn't viable or balanced in any way shape or form but YKNOW what is this blog except putting stupid thoughts into the void and seeing if this time the void spits back hate mail so. i'm folding this into a paper airplane and throwing it into the abyss. hopefully it made sense.

k love you appreciate you getting this far, have a good week!!

(i hope your team gets a win in dramatic fashion and celebrates together!!! i hope they come together and unleash a plan so spectacular it takes the server by storm!!! i hope it's so good it becomes a vod you go back to even years in the future!!!! i hope you have a good week!!!!!)

[spacerangersam]

truly tragic that there’s no sophie x humphrey fics that cater to my specific needs of them meeting in a universe where they’re not married and sophie’s a highway man who, while trying to rob humphrey, gets caught in the middle of his assassination attempt and deciding that’s just a bit too nice to lose his head, saves him, and the two have to go on the run and learn to work together to take down Humphrey’s attempted killer

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

[slightlytoastedbagel]

Which fucking part of the fandom are you in if you think Ena is just hated for being an "Instagram Girlie"

[leighsartworks216]

Screaming crying crawling up the walls for your top tier Astarion content

Idk if you’ve seen this, it’s floating around the internet (I think it’s a tweet?) it says something like “I want someone to grab my face and say ON PURPOSE, I WILL CARE FOR YOU ON PURPOSE” and I’d love to see our love-deprived bi-centurion react to something like this.

Like maybe he’s caught feelings for tav and is starting to feel bad for manipulating them and starts self-sabotaging by saying/thinking stuff like ‘you only THINK you love me but it’s not real, I’m sorry I made you feel this way’ and tav getting v v serious and replying “I never loved you by accident”.

Him being confronted by the fact that things never would’ve gotten this far if they didn’t let it, if they didn’t choose him, that they’re still choosing him and that it has nothing to do with the act he put up or the situation he constructed, if they wanted nothing to do w him they could’ve and would’ve dipped.

Idk I’m just spitting ideas, have fun babe ✌🏻

- 🦇

I wrote this at 2am but I did proofread it (it's almost 4 now 💀)

Also the original tweet is by Jenny Slate (@/jennyslate) and says, "I just want someone to grab my little face and scream 'ON PURPOSE, ON PURPOSE I AM GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU'"

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Warnings: self-doubt, references to manipulation, self-deprecation, references to dissociation, dissociation mention, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1,392

Main Masterlist

Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

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It began one night, almost a week ago. Astarion had gotten into the routine of joining you in your bedroll after feeding, cuddling close and relaxing to the steady sound of your heartbeat. That night, a week ago, he didn’t. He delicately bit into your skin and pulled away before you were even slightly dizzy, murmured something about how you’d need your strength for a fight tomorrow, and slipped off to hunt for animals. Truly, you didn’t think anything of it, then. And maybe you got so lost, so caught up in your daily stress, that was why you didn’t register it for so long. Comments under his breath about manipulation immediately covered up with Gale requesting a magical artifact or Shadowheart and Lae’zel fighting.

So, a week went by. And the realization finally hit. Guilt ate away at your stomach, but wallowing wasn’t going to help. When night started to creep in, your companions slipping into their tents, you slipped into Astarion’s. Sitting in a pile of pillows, he looked up at you with a smirk and a ‘Hello, darling’, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were dark. Distant.

“I’m sorry I haven’t given you the attention you need,” you start. A baffled look flickers across his face, but it is not given the time to settle.

There is a twitch at the corner of his mouth, like it’s a strain for him to keep smirking. “It’s perfectly alright, darling. You’ve been busy running around camp, helping people - I understand.”

With any other person, this would have seemed a perfectly reasonable response. An apology accepted, a mutual understanding - the relationship goes on. Except, this was Astarion.

You sit down nearby, close enough to reach out and touch. Any closer and you worried you’d overcrowd him. You always tried to let him come to you first, though he usually struggled to initiate anything.

“You’ve been distant, too,” you point out. He begins to form the words to apologize, but you shake your head to stop him before they can build a sentence. “I’m not upset, I don’t need an apology. I just wanted to know why.”

To be honest, he didn’t expect you to notice. He assumed, quite stupidly, all things considered, that you would be too preoccupied to notice him slowly slipping away. Late night cuddles dashed for hunting, hand holding forgotten as he trails along at the back of the group, kisses never lingering and the ones that did lacking any emotion behind them.

“Is something wrong?” you prompt gently. “If it’s too much, we can work out what would be better for you.”

Guilt stabs at his own non-beating heart like a wooden stake. He’s drifting and you still throw him a rope, still ask for him to grab on and pull himself away from his past, from dissociating with the slightest hint of affection.

He smiles wryly. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” he teases, but it comes out a little too strained to be a joke. His fingers fiddle with the corner of the page of his book. He finds watching the paper fold and bend is much more interesting than looking into your eyes.

He sighs. “I’m sorry, my dear,” he says, but the endearment feels like fire on his tongue, “but it’s not real. This isn’t real.” Your brow furrows as you stare at him. He can’t bear to see the realization cross your face. “Two hundred years of manipulating - of course I would trick you, too. It’s instinct, darling, I don’t blame you.” Red eyes finally meet yours. You look confused, of course, but there’s an air of determination, like you’re ready to fight whatever plagues him. “But this… love… it’s not real. And for what it’s worth, I am sorry I made you feel this way.”

He expects anger. He expects tears, even. Crying and shouting and ‘How could you?!’s and ‘I can’t believe you’ve manipulated me all this time!’ But it never comes. You frown, sure, but it’s leagues away from being angry.

“You think… you manipulated me into feeling this way?”

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. Admitting it feels bitter. He blames it on his growing fondness for you, but he knows it cannot possibly be returned in any genuine way. Not with his underhanded tactics surfacing at every passing glance, soft brush, and gentle smile. “Come now, darling,” he smirks again, building a wall to separate himself from the shitshow that must be just ‘round the corner, “who could really love me?”

That only succeeds in making you frown further. “Astarion, I’m not with you because you’ve tricked me.” The baffled look from earlier surfaces again, but it lingers, mixed with doubt. “I understand that you started this to manipulate me into protecting you, but I’m not here because you successfully influenced my emotions - To be perfectly honest, I could tell from the start.”

He laughs dryly, suddenly, like it startles him. “And here I was thinking I’d learned some subtlety.”

You don’t laugh with him. You don’t even smile. “I chose you, Astarion. I still choose to be with you. Because I want to.”

Any lingering mask of confidence fell from his face. The creases around his mouth became more prominent as he frowned. His eyes darted around, glancing around your face for any tells of deception, any hint that you’re making this up to make him feel better. “How can you be sure? How do you know you’re choosing me and not just buying into another act?”

“Astarion.” You get on your knees and hold his face in your hands. He stares up at you with big, round eyes. “If I wanted to, I could break up with you. I am not staying because I feel stuck, or because I feel obligated to. I love you. On purpose. On purpose, I am staying with you. On purpose, I choose you.”

He opens his mouth, but no words form. His mind is reeling, chasing to catch up and process everything, all the while jumping and flipping, trying to find excuses or reasons why you shouldn’t care for him. He swallows the lump building in his throat. He speaks in a whisper, too stunned to speak louder. “Are you sure?”

Your whole face softens. Determination turns to fond affection, frown lifting into a soft grin. “Yes. I’m sure.” You press a kiss to his forehead, and he closes his eyes to savor it. It’s been a week without allowing himself your love - he deserves to enjoy it once again, even if he feels guilty for it. He wishes his thoughts would just shut up and let him have this. “If you still need space or time, I’ll be here. I’m not leaving. Just,” you pull his face back, “please talk to me about this next time. I know things have been hectic, but I’m never too busy for you.”

He sighs, slow and soft. Relieved. “Of course, my love.” He adores the way you smile brightly at the endearment. He turns sheepish. “Ah, could I, possibly, join you tonight? It does, admittedly, get rather lonely passing the time alone.”

You kiss his cheek. “Of course you can. C’mon, I’ll even play with your hair if you’d like.”

He chuckles, genuine this time. “I very much would.” His book is set aside, the page he left off on lost as he takes your hand and follows you from his tent. He can’t help himself from squeezing your hand in his, like he can’t quite grasp the fact you are physically holding onto him. Even when you lay down first and he settles in next to you, arms wrapped around your middle and his head on your chest, it still feels hard to believe. But the way you wrap your arms around him and gently detangle his curls and scratch lightly at his scalp cannot possibly be from his imagination. Nor the way you press kisses on his forehead and temple and hair with sweet praises and words of affection. His mind is not kind enough to imagine such tenderness.

Laying there in your arms, listening to the steady beat of your heart and even breaths that fill your lungs as you slip into sleep, is the closest he has ever been to true contentment.

---

Tag List:

@hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @lynnloveslokiredacted @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @kindadolly @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @phantoms-fandom-blog

[mybelovedwoo]

i'm glad i have you with me

bff!san x f!reader

fluff, comfort, childhood best friends to lovers (slow burn) / wc:1.3k

warnings: cheating, crying, swear words, cuddling

note: so tell me how you liked this one. i am a bit nervous because this is my first non-wooyoung fic, but i really enjoyed writing it. please stay tuned in the future for other members' fics too. if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

san masterlist - main masterlist

Sitting on a couch at a house party all alone with people you don't know, there's literally any other place you would rather be. Originally you came with you're boyfriend Seungjun, but you haven't seen him in hours. You weren't much of a party person, but this time you accompanied him, because he begged you for days for it, but now you are starting to regret it honestly.

You take out your phone from your back pocket, but before you open it, you look around once more to see if your boyfriend pops up somewhere, you are out of luck, so after you unlocked it, the first thing you open is your messages. Your fingers linger over Seungjun's name, but it says he's been unavailable for hours, no shit Sherlock, you think. Instead, you scroll down a bit and open the messages for your best friend, San.

You know well that he probably not gonna answer, because it's Saturday night, and he is most definitely out with his friends too. You don't care, you try it anyway, he is your best chance to rescue you out of this hell. "Hey, San." is the first you send, you're not sure what to write him, you don't want to bother him. "What are you doing?" you wait a few minutes, but he's not responding, his phone is probably on mute. "I'm kinda bored, I don't know where Seungjun went. I need your rescue ㅠㅠ." Nothing, no response. You feel really annoyed at this point, but not because San, poor boy did nothing wrong, it is just a bad moment. "You know what I'm gonna look for Seungjun. Don't worry and have fun." You lock your phone and put it back in your back pocket.

You look around the kitchen, then in the yard, but you don't see him anywhere. You are getting kinda worried that maybe he left you there. At last, you walk up the stairs, the hallway is full of kissing couples, who must have only met tonight. The moment you enter one of the rooms, you regret everything you did until now. Your boyfriend was there with another girl you had never seen before, doing things you never expected him to do with anyone except for you. 

You didn't know what to do in the big shock, but you didn't speak up, maybe they didn't even notice you or just didn't care. But you turned around and hurried down the stairs, unable to control your tears. You just needed some fresh air, you had to get out of this place immediately. You crashed out of the entrance of the house and fell down to the stairs. Sitting there you didn't even think, you were already calling San. This is urgent now.

Your phone didn't even ring for two seconds when they already answered it. "Hey Y/N, is everything okay? I'm sorry my phone was on mute I haven't seen your texts. Have you found Seungjun? Wait, are you crying?" You couldn't even speak, though you wanted to tell him everything. "Y/N please say something! What happened? Are you hurt?" You took three big breaths to calm yourself down enough to talk a few words. "He cheated on me. Could you come to pick me up?" You didn't have to say more. "I've already sat in the car the minute I saw your messages, don't worry. I'll be there soon."

He wasn't lying, he got there in record time. You watched as he pulled up with his car to the driveway of the house. When he gets out of the car, is only when you get up from the stairs you've been sitting on. San rushed towards you at a high speed, so you didn't have time to move even an inch in his way.

"Where is that dickhead?" He asked with blunt words when he got to you. He seemed really angry, maybe even angrier than you, you had never in your life seen him like this before. You shrugged, implying that you don't know and don't care either. But that was not enough for him. "Is he still inside there?" You started to get a little worried.

"I think so. But please don't make a scene, let's just go home." You pulled him through his forearm when he already started walking to the entrance. "Wait for me in the car, okay? I'll be quick, I'm not gonna do anything he doesn't deserve, I swear." He said to you, while he stroked your face with his right hand. You hesitated, but who are you to tell him what to do, so you went up to his car and sat on the passenger side for like five minutes.

At this point you didn't care much about waiting a little longer, that's what you did all night long. San slammed the door behind himself, and somehow he looked even angrier than before. He got in the car next to you and when he looked at you his expression softened. "What did you do?" You asked him with a sobby voice. "I just showed him where he belonged. Let's just say he went swimming." You look down at his hands and you see it's all bruised up.

He started the engine. "San, I don't wanna go home. What if he comes there?" You didn't know what to do, since he had a key to your apartment. You couldn't bare to see his face once more.

"We're going to my place." He didn't even hesitate. You slept at his place many times now, but not since you started dating Seungjun. San was worried when you found out you are going to different colleges, he was afraid that you wouldn't spend as much time together as you used to. But you thought that was nonsense since you have been best friends since you were very little, you grew up together.

He never liked Seungjun, he always said he didn't deserve you. But he was your first boyfriend, and you were blinded with love, at least that's what you thought. Looking back, you also know that he didn't treat you well, but you don't know that when you're in it.

-

Entering San's apartment, all you could think about was that you needed to get some sleep asap. Weariness hit you the moment you got hit by the heat of the comfortable room. You didn't want to bother San with your presence, you don't know what plans he had. 

You've been quite comfortable in here, so you decided to lie down on the couch in the living room. "What are you doing?" Asked San, entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.

"Sleeping. I'm really tired." You mumbled, not able to speak properly.

"You can't sleep here. Go to my room, there is my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." You sat up at his statement. "No, you can't. This is your place." There's no way you letting him sleep out here in the cold living room when he has his own warm bed just a room away. "Let's sleep both in the bed. I think it's big enough for the both of us." You said. It's not like this is the first time you sleep in the same bed, you always fell asleep next to each other when you were little.

"Are you sure?" He hesitated. "We are not so small anymore." The joke made you both laugh, it made his heart clench to see you happy again.

After you took a warm shower, he gave you a big shirt of his and a jogger pant that was definitely too big for you. You got under the cover, San was already there, lying down. He turned off the lamp on the bedside table, which illuminated the whole room until now. 

As soon as it got dark your eyes started watering again, you remember everything that happened today. All of a sudden, you feel a pair of hands slip on your waist. San hugged you tightly from behind. "I got you." He whispered in your ears. He didn't let go of you all night long, you woke up in the same position the next morning.

-

[clemswinecorner-socials]

Sidetracked - [MM]

This is a continuation of "trackside", same disclaimers apply You can read side tracked here

Yourusername

liked by ollicaldwell, felipedrugovich and others

yourusername motorsports photographer takes on winter break

posted january 2nd, 2023

jazbenham it was lovely to have you with us! poppy missed you already 💙💙

yourusername i had the best time!! tell poppy to give me or her uncle a call soon :)

masefan she spend xmas with his family 😭😭 pierregasly happy new year y/n! it's gonna be a good one oldschoolfriend look at you being all famous and shit, happy new year y/n! marcusarmstrong new years kiss?

yourusername this time i did have one, yes :) you? marcusarmstrong no comment

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Yourusername

liked by masonmount, benchilwell and others

yourusername birthday boy 🫶🏼 do i make a longass sappy caption? maybe i will, because your love makes me a damn poet.

mason, you're truly someone i admire. the way you handle things and when you tell me that you sometimes can't. the way you help me when you need help too and the way you put aside whatever you think i don't want or need in order to feel good. even more i admire how it's not just me or your family you do this for, i also admire how you always try and keep up the team. you never lose faith in your friends and the people around you even when they don't feel deserving of it. i admire how you want what's best for people. i love the flowers you buy and how you read fanfiction, romance novels, vsco notes and pinterest to make sure you give me the love you believe i deserve. the love you make me believe i deserve, and that's something i never thought i would deserve. my love for you is beyond the world, mase, it will not dissapear even if the world dissapears. even if you dissapear. because you, mason, are my world. happy birthday. i love you more than you understand. tagged masonmount

posted january 10th, 2023

comments disabled.

Screamingmeals and Yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, masonmount and others

screamingmeals motorsports photographer goes on a podcast and talks life on track, good looking athletes and being a football wag we may have forgotten to take a picture, so as a bonus two pictures y/n took of us that she liked.

podcast out tomorrow. tagged yourusername, clementnovalak, marcusarmstrong, jamesharveyblair, goldenchild.tv

posted february 15th, 2023

yourfan y/n on screamingmeals this is not a drill y/n on screamingmeals juanmanuelcorrea_ i feel sorry for @/goldenchild.tv the editing mustve been terrible

yourusername can confirm a lot of beeps were needed

lissiemackintosh going purple next? racingfan im so curious what theyre dynamic will be like cuz y/n seems like the polar opposites of the boys clementnovalak this was an absolute steamer

yourusername dadoosh dadoosh dadoosh

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Yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, joaofelix79 and others

yourusername the champions!! 🏆🏆🏆💙🤍thanks for having me this chelsea, i truly felt at home all season. congrats team! tagged chelseafc, masonmount

posted may 18th, 2023

footiefan these pics!!!! clementnovalak LFG TEAAAAAAM🔥🔥 bestfriend what a moment. what a match! masonmount couldnt have done it without my goodluck charm💙🤍 masonmount thank you baby💙💙💙

yourusername mason i am so unbelievably proud of you. i love you so much!

... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by jackdoohan, natalie_pinkham and others

yourusername raceday birthday in spain (ft mase trying to steal my job) tagged masonmount

posted your birthday, 2023

masonmount happy birthday my beautiful girl <3 i love you more than you know

comments limited.

other social media works & main writing masterlist

[halucynator]

END OF 2023

sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx

hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)

so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶

@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh

@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍

@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶

@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want

@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'

@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)

@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️

@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu

@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3

@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3

@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3

@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕

@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33

@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍

@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️

these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME

also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶

@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 5: staying over

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges Joel Miller x f!reader summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it) 18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, angst, implied heavy angst (sorry), kissing, pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), light manhandling, grinding, spit kink, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), p in v sex (no condom this time, he’s 56 and she’s 49, but use a condom, y’all), creampie, masturbation, praise kink, light anal play, face sitting, if I missed anything please let me know! a/n: Well, this is part 5 of the 5+1. I can’t believe it. Next week we have the +1, which is the epilogue. I’m sorry in advance for the first part. Check ao3 for notes to skip the smut. word count: 5.5k | series main post | series playlist | ao3 | ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4

Chapter 5: Staying Over

Boston, September 26, 2003 

Your phone rang at 6:30 AM, rudely interrupting a dream that involved Joel, no pants, and a very sturdy table. 

“...h’llo?” you mumbled into the receiver.

“Morning, darlin’.”

“Joel?” You yawned. “Baby, it’s 5:30 in the morning in Austin. Why are you calling me?”

“Well, baby, you see, it’s my birthday, but my fiance is all the way across the country in Boston at some fancy conference. I thought maybe she might like to help me start my day right, put me in a good mood before our daughter wakes up and makes me eat one of her culinary science experiments.” You heard what sounded like sheets rustling on his end of the phone and you started to smile. 

“Joel, she cooks the eggs that way because it’s how you taught her.”

He hummed and murmured your name. “Come on, baby.”

“You looking for a little phone sex, Miller? What are you wearing?”

He laughed, but he answered, “Nothing, pretty girl. What are you wearing?” 

As he asked, you were already kicking off your pajamas. “What a coincidence! Nothing here, either.”

“Mmm wish I could see it.”

“Just one more day, baby, and then I’ll be home and you can keep me naked in your bed all night.”

“That’s our bed, darlin’. For the rest of our lives.”

You smiled, just like you did every time Joel reminded you that you’d be waking up next to each other every day from now on. He’d done this a lot since you’d moved in at the start of the summer, taking advantage of your free time after the school year ended. Though really you’d spent almost every night together since he proposed in December.

“Well, tell me what you’re doing, baby. Or what you want me to do. What do you want, birthday boy?”

“I want you to touch yourself. Tell me everything you’re doing and how it feels. Can you do that for me, pretty girl?” You hummed, and slipped your hand between your legs. “Of course you can. That’s my good girl.”

...

Jackson, Spring 2024

(the same night you went to the bar)

You feel like you’ve lived a thousand lives since you met Tommy and Joel outside your house earlier. First the dance, then the panic attack, then the kiss. The almost-more-than-a kiss. Outside. Where people could see you. Your face gets hot again at the thought of it.

Slumped by your door, you tell yourself to breathe and calm down. You put your palms over your eyes and tilt your head back against the door, taking some time to breathe deeply and slow your racing heart. 

You’re afraid to let yourself think about it — you can feel the tears behind your eyes, ready to fall. You focus on your breath. 

It sort of works, enough for you to get yourself together and stand, starting to move away from the door. 

You’ve only made it a few steps away when there’s a knock, and your heart starts to race again. Your hands are shaking. 

Before you even open it, you know who’s standing on the other side. You barely pull it open a few inches before you see his hand appear as he grabs the side of the door, and then his arm as he pushes it open, and then Joel himself is in front of you again, moving straight towards you. He doesn’t even step inside all the way before he’s kissing you, the hand on the door pushing it shut and the other grabbing you by the neck. You wrap your arms around him, opening for him and deepening the kiss immediately. He turns and pushes you against the door, from the inside this time, palm flat against your collar bone. 

You gasp, chest heaving. Joel rests his forehead against yours. “I was standing in my empty house, frozen, and realized I had no idea what I was doing there, away from you.” He brushes his hands down your arms and around your waist, pulling you closer. “What the hell was I thinking? Can’t believe I kissed you like that ‘n walked away.”

You laugh, so, so relieved, feeling lighter than you have in years. “Me neither, baby.”

He turns his head, nosing along your ear and then down your neck, skimming his lips lightly across your shoulder. You shiver. 

“You got plans tonight, pretty girl?” He says it playfully, knowing you’ll pick up on it, that you’ll remember it too. It makes you laugh again and tear up at the same time.

“Just s- some cowboy who wants t- to get in my pants.” You know your lines, but you can barely get them out past the emotions bubbling up inside of you. You can feel him smirk against your neck. 

“Oh?” His left hand moves from your waist around to the front of your jeans, deftly undoing the button and starting to lower the zipper slowly. “And are you going to let him?”

“I dunno. You think he’s any good?” You’re smiling so wide it hurts. 

At that, Joel moves his hand inside your open pants to cup your pussy firmly, holding you tight over your underwear. You’re on fire, blood rushing in your ears. “You know he is, baby.”

You have to ask, even when all you want is to let him fuck you right there, against the door. You push your hands through his hair. “Not taking it slow after all?”

He softens his grip on you and brings his lips to your ear, resting his forehead against the side of your head. Your eyes slip shut. “We’ve got a lot to work out, sure, but I was standing there alone and I just realized I don’t want to spend any more of my life away from you, not if I don’t have to. Not when you’re right here barely 50 feet away from me.” He presses a kiss to your jaw, just in front of your ear. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to find you twice in this fucked up life, but I ain’t turning it down.” He brings his right palm up to cup your face. “We’ve never let fear take over before and I don’t want to now. I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to do this together. I want you.” 

You inhale sharply and feel a tear run down your cheek. He sees it and thumbs it away. “What about you, baby? What do you want?”

You open your eyes, meeting his gaze in the dim light of your hallway. Your hands are in his hair and his hand is still cupping your pussy, holding you gently. You know he can feel how wet you are, just from this. You curve your hips forwards and watch his eyes darken. 

“Fuck slow. I never stopped wanting you, Joel. I want you to take me to my bed and make me forget the 20 years I spent without you in it. And I want you to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and to keep doing it every night for the rest of our lives.”

His grip tightens on your pussy as he smiles at you, slow. You see a glimpse of that cocky cowboy who swept you off your feet in 2001 in the corners of his mouth and the tilt of his brow. 

So fast it makes your head spin, he pulls his hand from your pants and goes to whisk you away towards the stairs with his arms around your waist. He pulls you close to lean on him, taking some of your weight. “Let’s get to it, then.”

“Joel Miller! Let me walk. We’re going to need those ancient back muscles, in a minute.” He laughs. 

“Alright, alright.” He slides his hands to rest on your hips. “I know we’re old now, baby, but I bet I can still make you come at least three times tonight.” You laugh, even as you feel his effect on you running through your veins and pooling in your underwear.

“Big talk, cowboy. Don’t count on that everytime, not these days.”

He hums in your ear. “You know I’m good for it.” 

You grab his hand and pull him up the stairs behind you and into your bedroom, turning and sitting on the bed. He’s on you before you can move, pulling your shoes off and your pants down your legs and tossing them somewhere across the room. You take the opportunity to strip off your shirt, moving your hands to his belt once you’re done. 

He takes off his shirt and it makes you stop and stare, eyes roving over his strong chest and arms, somehow stronger than when you last saw him like this. You look up at him and realize you’re sitting frozen on the bed with your hands on his belt, and you smirk as you loosen it and then undo his jeans. 

He inhales slowly and reaches forward to brush his thumb across your lips as you pull him from his underwear, shifting your gaze from his face to his hard cock. 

You begin to lean forward, mouth opening, tongue darting out for a taste, when he catches you by the throat and your eyes dart back up to meet his gaze. He’s looking down at you with half-lidded eyes and a lazy smirk on his face. 

“Now, pretty girl, did I say you could do that?”

You squirm, so aroused you can feel the mess you’re making. “Please, baby?” You meet his eyes and run your tongue across your bottom lip. “It’s been so long.”

“You know I love that pretty mouth. But I think we should make sure of something right quick.”

You tilt your head, questioning. Not sure what he means. He shoves your shoulder, pushing you to back up and lie on the bed before kicking off his jeans and underwear and crawling over you. He lowers himself so that his cock is brushing your stomach and whispers in your left ear, “Only good girls get to suck this cock, baby, you know that. Are you still my good girl?” 

You breathe in so sharply it’s almost a sob, and clutch at him. “Yes, Joel,” you breathe. “Always.”

He sits up a bit and smiles at you, and you can see it all there in his expression. This man is the love of your life, and it’s still mutual. You still fit together like this perfectly. You close your eyes against the swell of emotion you feel at realizing how well you go together, even after all this time.

“I thought so. Why don’t you show me how good you can be, pretty girl, and touch yourself.” You immediately move to do as he says, and he leans to the side to watch. “Let me see you get wet for me, baby.”

“I’m already wet, Joel.” You feel him settle in next to you as he watches your hand move between your legs. He pushes your left leg up and to the side, opening you up for his view. 

“I want you so wet you soak the bed, baby. I want you so wet it feels like silk when my cock slips inside that pussy.” You moan at his words, watching him watch your hand. He sits up to get a better look. 

You open your legs wider and use your fingers to spread your folds with one hand while you start to tease yourself with the other. You move your fingers lightly from your hole to your clit, dancing around it as you watch his reaction. You know your body looks different now, but under his gaze you feel the same as you did every time he looked at you back then – beautiful, desirable. Loved. Like he looks at you and sees you.

You circle your clit, letting the feeling build just a bit before moving your fingers down to your entrance. You push your hips forward slightly, watching as he leans forward. You slip one finger inside and he licks his bottom lip, gaze intent. 

“So pretty, baby. Such a pretty pussy, always so pretty for me.” He doesn’t look away from your fingers as he says it. 

You slip a second finger inside you, starting to pump them in and out, but it’s not enough. Your fingers aren’t big enough, never have been, not after having his. You squirm a little, trying to go deeper. He sees your struggle and smirks. “You need help, pretty girl?”

You bite your lip, nodding. “Please, Joel. I need your fingers, baby, I missed them so much.”

“Yeah?” He smooths his hand up your leg, closer and closer to where you want him. “You need it that bad?”

“Yes!” You cry out, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Shhh, let me help you. I’ll give you everything you want, baby.” He pulls your hands from your pussy and pins them to the bed by your hips. He holds them here as he leans down, inches away from your open pussy, taking a good, long look. You squirm. “Joel–”

“Patience.” He nips at your thigh. “Let me look at you.” He does, and you watch him do it, helpless. “I missed this, so much. This right here.” 

He leans down and slowly licks you, tongue flat and mouth wide open, lingering over your clit and meeting your eyes. “You taste so damn good, baby, thought I’d never get to taste this again.” You revel in the feeling of his beard scratching against your pussy as he licks you again, slow. You feel yourself getting wetter as you clutch the sheets in your fists. 

He lifts one hand but eyes you, so you know he wants you to keep your hand where it is. He uses his fingers to spread open your folds, and looks down again, licking his lips. He looks up to meet your eyes again – you can feel yourself staring, mouth open, breathing hard but silent – and he smirks. “I don’t think you’re wet enough yet, baby.”

You know what’s coming before he does it, but the anticipation makes you squirm. He opens his mouth and lets you see him gather the spit on his tongue before he lets it slip off the tip, right onto your clit, exposed by his fingers holding you open. You throw your head back and moan. “That’s my girl.” With that, he leans back down, and puts his mouth to work right where you both want it. You buck your hips up and he pushes them back down with his right hand. “Easy, pretty girl. Let me get my taste of this perfect pussy.”

He takes both hands and throws your legs over his shoulders, returning his mouth to your clit and sucking lightly. You whine, and it spurs him on. “Fuck, Joel.” He reaches down with one hand to tease you at your entrance while the other reaches up around your leg to pinch your nipple as he takes your clit in your teeth. He looks up and catches your eye, keeping eye contact as his touch sets you aflame – twisting your nipple gently, sucking and tonguing your clit, and slowly sinking his finger inside you, all at once. You stop breathing for a moment, overwhelmed at the competing sensations.

Joel winks at you and then returns to his work. He thrusts one finger inside of you, curling it upwards at the end of every thrust. You’re astonished to feel your orgasm building, right then and there, so quick and so strong. You know he can tell – your breath speeds up and you clench your fists tight. Your legs start to shake and you clench down on his fingers, a second joining the first, fucking you perfectly. 

Joel plays your entire body perfectly, even though he hasn’t touched it in 20 years. It’s masterful, like he never forgot a single detail, and it brings tears to your eyes. Fuck.

You’re so close, but you’re teetering right on the edge. He smooths his left hand down your torso, pressing down gently on your pelvis. He lifts his head up, fingers twisting inside of you, and says, “show me how good you are, pretty girl. Come on my face.” 

And you do. He immediately returns his mouth to your clit, sucking on it, and it tips you over the edge. You haven’t had an orgasm like this in 20 years and it launches through your body like a rocket. It overwhelms every bit of you, body and mind, setting you on fire in its wake. You cry out and lose yourself in it.

You’re slow to come down but as you do you realize you’ve locked your thighs around Joel’s head.

He seems happy with his plight, though, as he continues licking at your hole, teasing his tongue up inside of you as he removes his fingers. Like a man dying of thirst, finally given water.

You open your legs and tug him away by the hair, overstimulated. “I missed the way you taste, baby. Even better than I remembered.” His face is glistening and his eyelids are heavy, dark eyes watching you. He clears his throat. “That was one. You ready for another?” He grins. You shake your head at him, and laugh, incredulous. 

“Show me what you can do, cowboy.” You’re breathless, boneless.

He turns his head and kisses your thigh, leaving a trail of moisture from his face as he moves slowly up to your knee. Then he licks, tongue flat, all the way from your knee back to your hip, where he digs in a little with his tongue at the crease of your thigh. You let your legs fall apart at the sensation. “I want you to give me another one, baby. Turn over.” You think you know what he wants, and your heart starts to race even faster. 

You sit up, a little unsteady, arms shaking, and turn over so you’re on all fours. He nips at your ass and you know it’s because he approves. You feel him shifting around as you hang your head between your shoulders. Then you feel his hands smooth up the back of your thighs and you realize he’s on his back, face right under your pussy. 

“Sit down, baby. Put that pretty pussy right on my face.” You shiver. You know he means it. He taps your ass when you don’t move right away. 

You lower your hips, sliding your knees apart on the bed and feeling them ache a little, sitting up at the same time. You look down and you can see him waiting for you, a wicked grin on his face. “That’s it, be a good girl and sit down right here for me.” 

He reaches up and pulls your hips down and you do. Back Before, you used to worry you’d smother him like this, until one night he made you sit down, weight dropped fully onto him, and he moaned louder than you’d ever heard him. He wanted you like that, all over him, smothering him, taking over all of his senses. You were happy to oblige.

You sink onto his face and you feel his mouth open to meet you. His tongue licks at you and then sinks right inside, smooth and soft. “Yes, baby,” you sigh. He twists his tongue inside and then closes his lips around your hole, kissing you there like he would kiss your mouth. And then he sucks, lightly, making your entire body shiver in response.

As you start to rock your hips he encourages it, squeezing your hips and pulling you up and down on his face, thrusting his tongue in time with your hips. His nose starts to catch on your clit and your breath hitches at every thrust. You moan, loudly. You start to lose yourself in it, head flung back, thrusting harder than you’d let yourself if you could think straight, but he moans in response and scrapes his teeth lightly around your hole. 

The noises he’s making are obscene.

Joel’s hands leave your hips and sneak around to your ass, grabbing both cheeks and squeezing. On the next rock of your hips he lets go with his left hand and lightly trails his fingers between your cheeks, touching the pad of one finger to your asshole. You whine and push your hips back to meet it. You can feel his grin at your response.

He uses his right hand to pull you towards his face while his left toys with your ass and his tongue continues to stoke the fire inside of you. You grab his right wrist with one hand and his hair with the other as you grind down on his face. He sucks at your hole and pulls down with his hands to hold you down. 

You throw your head back again, lost in the moment. Your orgasm is close, creeping over you, sending tingles down your spine. You clench around his tongue. “Fuck, Joel, your mouth. I’m gonna come, baby,” you whisper, overcome.

You don’t know if he can hear you, but you know he can tell. He always could, and he always knew just how to push you over the edge. He pushes you back a little with his right hand, and then tugs you back down, thrusting his tongue inside of you and curling it upwards. 

His mouth is open wide, so wide you feel it everywhere as he sucks at your hole and grinds his nose into your clit.The tip of middle finger just breaches your asshole. 

Your orgasm slams into you and you cry out, tensing all over and closing his head between your thighs. You clench on his tongue and his finger, holding him inside you in both places as the fire rushes over you again. This one is stronger but it passes more quickly and you find yourself toppling forward as it leaves you. You catch yourself on one hand, and look down at Joel.

He’s fucking wrecked, face covered in your juices, and totally blissed out. He looks like he’s achieved a higher plane of existence, eyes closed, breathing heavy and licking his lips. You both just breathe for a moment, completely winded. 

And then he opens his eyes.

His gaze immediately locks on yours, and he growls. It happens so fast you barely follow it, but suddenly he’s up again and flips you onto your back. “Never thought I’d get to have this again.” His voice is low and you feel it rumble deep through your chest. He pulls you down the bed by the hips, spreading your legs and wrapping them around his waist. “This perfect fucking pussy, fucking made for me.” His left hand comes up and wraps around your throat, just holding you, as his right reaches down to rest the tip of his cock at your entrance. You can feel it there, just barely pushing at you, notched in place. 

You gasp, overwhelmed, and beg him, “please, Joel. I need you.”

He leans over you, right hand coming to rest by your head, forehead pressed to yours as he whispers your name. “I want to live right here, in bed, with you. I want to pass my days with my face buried in your pussy. I want you to sit on my cock until you can’t take it, until you cry, until you forget what it feels like not to be full of me. I want you right here with me every day until I die. Just like we promised.” With the last word, he sinks into you, steadily, filling you all the way up until his hips meet yours. You sob and clutch at his shoulders. 

“I want you just like this. Beautiful and overwhelmed. Full of my cock. So wet you’re dripping. Needy and at my mercy.” He squeezes your neck gently, just the way you like. He leans down and captures your mouth, tangling your tongues together as he twists his hips a little, keeping himself fully inside of you. You taste yourself on his tongue.

“I want you, honey. What do you want?”

You reach up and grab his ass in both hands, squeezing. 

“I want that too, baby, want to do that, be that for you.” You take a deep breath and look him straight in the eye. 

“And right now I want you to fuck me, Joel Miller, and I want you to mean it.”

He grins wider than you’ve seen him, since you found him again. He looks younger and a bit wild. “That’s my good girl.” His words sink into you like a stone falling into a pool, sending ripples down your spine. 

And then he does.

He pulls out, almost all the way, and then pounds into you. He finds a rhythm and keeps it up, resting his forehead on yours and sliding his left hand behind your neck. You breathe each other in as you lift your hips to his, chasing the same high. You can feel it, dancing ahead of you, as his cock fills you just right with every thrust. He drops his head to your shoulder and moves his right hand down to your clit. “One more, baby,” he murmurs in your right ear. “Give me one more. I need to feel your pussy squeeze me tight.” You close your eyes and fall into it, letting him sweep you away. His hips speed up as his fingers match his thrusts in rhythm on your clit and you cling to him, just trying to hold on with your arms and legs. 

He’s pushing you higher and higher, just about there, and you squeeze your pussy tight right when he squeezes the back of your neck. He opens his mouth and bites down on your shoulder and your vision goes white. You clench around him, crying out his name, and his hips stutter as he follows you upwards and over. You hear him say your name, over and over again, as your orgasms slam into you both and then leave you loose and tingling in their wake. 

You’re both breathing hard when he reaches down to ease his cock out of you before flopping down on his back at your side. He groans. You can’t move your legs, and you tell him so. He huffs a weak laugh in response. 

Somehow Joel finds the strength to roll over and reach for his shirt, which he uses to clean you both up. You smile, knowing he’s going to be annoyed with himself for doing that in the morning. He flops back down and pulls you into him on his left, hitching your thigh over his leg and pulling you close with an arm around your waist. The position is at once so familiar, like an echo, and so longed for that it makes you dizzy.

“Not sure our backs ‘n knees are up for all that vigorous activity anymore, darlin’.” He’s breathless as he says it, and you can hear his heart racing under your ear on his chest.

You know he’s right - your pussy is throbbing a little and you know it won’t go that way every time, not these days. But you tease him anyway. “Speak for yourself, old man, I’m still young and limber.” He laughs. “Got seven years on you, anyway.”

He nuzzles into your hair, squeezing the wrist you’ve thrown across his chest with his right hand. “Still blew me away, baby, even if my back is killing me. Fucking made for me, I told you.”

You inhale deeply, and settle onto his chest. His scent is comforting and it settles something inside of you that hasn’t been settled in a long, long time. “Made for each other, more like. I missed you so goddamn much, Joel.”

“I missed you too, darlin’. Every fucking day. Even when I pretended I wasn’t thinking about it.” He takes a deep breath, pulling you closer. “I hope you weren’t alone for all of it. I – well, I –” You know what he’s getting at, so you interrupt before he can twist himself up into knots.

“I know about Tess, Joel. Tommy told me. I’m glad you had someone.” 

“Course he did. Well, I’m glad you know.” He sighs.

“I do, but Joel, I had someone too. For a little while, anyway. That’s why he told me, I told him first.” You take a deep breath. “It was in Atlanta. We were as much as we could be for each other, which wasn’t enough probably. But we did ok. She was…” You close your eyes, remembering Michelle. He brushes his hand down your back, soothing you. “She was good, and kind, even in the apocalypse when most of us were hard. Including me.”

“I’m glad you had someone. I wish I was there, of course, but I wouldn’t want you to be alone, all that time.” 

You nod against his chest, agreeing. “We’ll tell each other all about it, eventually.” 

He goes quiet for a moment.

“I didn’t let myself do it often, but sometimes I tried to imagine we were wrong. That you were alive. And what it would have been like if that were true.”

You reach over and grab his hand, squeezing. He takes a deep breath and continues. 

“What it would be like to just run into you on the street. I… well. I didn’t think about it often. Because I was pretty sure you would have hated the man I’d become.” You try to pick your head up to look at him but he brings his hand up to smooth over your hair, keeping you where you are. “I wasn’t… they were never happy thoughts. I couldn’t imagine a reunion where you saw what I’d become and didn’t turn right back around and leave me there. ‘N I would’a deserved it. So I tried not to think about it.”

“Joel, I-.” He interrupts, continuing like he’s afraid he’ll stop if he doesn’t. 

“In some ways I’m glad I found you now. I wish I’d known earlier, of course I do. But I’m more… me, now. I was a ghost, in Boston. I said barely living, but I felt barely human.” He pulls you tighter against him. “You wouldn’t have deserved being around me like that. No one did. Ellie didn’t, that’s for sure. Somehow she stuck around me long enough for me to remember how to be human again anyway.”

You push yourself up and don’t let him hold you down. Looking at him, you see that his eyes are teary, and he’s frowning. 

“Joel, I used to think about it too. And I worried the same thing - that I’d become something you wouldn’t want anymore. Someone hard, and mean, and unyielding. But neither of us were right, baby. I didn’t fall in love with only one part of you. I fell in love with all of you. And I think we both know how ruthless we might have become at times in the last 20 years, to survive.”

He closes his eyes and nods. 

“It was never a question for us back then, how much you’d do to protect us. How far you’d go. And I didn’t exactly shy away from it myself.” He huffs a laugh like he agrees with you, eyes still closed. You reach out to cup his face. 

“I know we didn’t get to say it back then, baby, but we would have said for better or for worse, and I would have meant it. That’s what I used to wonder about and try not to let myself want too much - to have you there for the worst of it. Not to have to go it alone.”

He finally opens his eyes again and he’s looking at you with not a little wonder. He brushes his fingers down your cheek.

“I forgot, for a long time, what it was like to be trusted like that. To be someone’s safe place. I couldn’t, or wouldn’t maybe, let myself with Tess, and, well. She deserved more than I could give her.” You can see the regret in his eyes, and it’s so familiar. You used to think the same thing about Michelle, wishing you could give her more of you, knowing there wasn’t more to give. Not back then. “I remembered it, with Ellie. It was hard as shit, don’t get me wrong.” You laugh a bit, and he smiles. “Thought caring like that would take me out for good. Feels like it sometimes, still. But I’m remembering how, with her. And now with you.” He tucks your head back down on his chest and pulls you closer, almost on top of him. 

You’re both quiet for a moment.

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“This doesn’t feel real. It’s too… I’m too happy.”

“I know. I feel it too, baby.” He kisses you softly right at your hairline. “I feel it too.”

...

a/n: See you next week for the +1/epilogue! It's... not short. lol

ch 6/epilogue now posted!

Taglist:

@morgaussy @jay-zzle @bluetattoos @dins-riduur-anthe @huffle-punk (@poodlebae just realized I forgot to tag you!! Sorry!!)

[spitdrunken]

I am keeping this post out of the main tags, and putting everything about it under a cut! This one’s for you anon, you probably know who you are <3 Please be warned, this Adam post contains conversion rpe / noncon, homophobia, misogyny, and character death mentioned/implied. Please don’t read this to trigger or upset yourself.

conversion with adam is so horrendous and so hot to think abt asjdfkdsfn. because he's absolutely the kind of guy that'd try imagine him stringing along a sinner reader. convincing them he can get them into heaven (and maybe he can but not for good reasons) but he lies and makes out the only way he can pull it off is if they become straight. and the only way to prove that is rounds of getting fucked into the ground and bred by him i feel kind of guilty sharing that haha not trans so i haven't read detransition works but i like the opposite where the character doesn't want to date a woman and so forces them to become a man. i mostly just write that though because i can't find it how i like it

Don’t feel guilty!! I get it but you don’t need to feel that <3 and I haven’t read what you mentioned! But I totally get writing that stuff yourself, cuz it’s hard to find stuff that Exactly fulfills your desires

He really would try :’)! Adam would attempt it during the extermination, where you’re already horrendously stressed out, because of all the, y’know all the people being killed all around you.

You, in one way or another, end up at the other end of one of Adam's blasts, but , rather than immediately killing you, he can tell you're pretty hot. For a fucking sinner, at least. He's no stranger to raping a couple of chicks during an extermination, like, who cares if they're about to die in a couple of minutes anyway? But maybe he wants to play a little game this time around. (With a high chance of him getting bored just as quickly.)

You squeeze your eyes shut, readying yourself for an impact that never arrives. Instead, when you hesitantly look back out through your squinted eyelids, you are greeted by an angel leering above you.

Adam would tell you that with just one look, he could tell that a pretty bitch like you doesn’t belong here at all! There must’ve been some mistake somewhere, yeah, yeah… You belong up in Heaven, babe. And about half of you knows that this has to be bullshit, but you’ve seen friends and strangers alike die in front of your eyes today, and you are desperate to clutch at any straws, so you listen. There’s just one little thing you gotta do, he tells you.

And… What’s that? You ask, a little breathless, trying to hide your shaking. To no avail.

Adam hums for a moment, a grin flickering across his face, before a hand cups over his mouth, a finger rubbing at his chin as if he were deep in thought. You gotta get some ‘angelic essence’ inside you. Heh. In other words, us, yes, us two, are going to need to fuck. Right here. Right now.

If this were any other situation, you’d be tempted to flip him off, laugh in his face until you were close to tears, and get the hell out of there. But he could kill you with a snap of his fingers. Even then, this specific scenario comes out of left field.

I don’t… I— I’m not attracted to men. Sorry? You end up sputtering. Do… Female angels—

Adam cuts you off before you can finish. Yeah, well, not being ‘attracted to men’ is kinda part of the problem here, babe. Why do you think you’re down here?

You really don't want to do this. You'd rather take an angelic blast to the face. I… Can I not? You say, after swallowing the nervous spit accumulated in your mouth.

"Well, duh, of course you can say no! But I guess that would mean you're not really dedicated to getting into Heaven, and you'd rather stay a demon forever, huh?" He hisses out a breath through grit teeth, as if he's just about to tell you horrible news. "And that means… I gotta kill you, babe. That's just how things work! Either you get fucked by me right here and now, or I blast your soul to little pieces. Is that clear enough for you?"

And that’s how you end up on your stomach, in the middle of corpses and rubble, pants and underwear shimmied down to around your knees. Little rocks scraping at your skin with every thrust, your insides burning with pain. Not so unenthusiastic after all, huh? Adam pants out. I can feel you getting fucking wetter. Stupid bitch. You think any ‘wetness’ in between your legs right now could only be blood.

Adam usually couldn’t care less about his partner’s pleasure, much less when it comes to a sinner such as yourself, but he wants to prove a point here. He wants to have a man such as himself make you feel good, and scramble that brain of yours for the rest of your existence. So, as you sob, a hand clumsily starts to rub in the general area of your clit, eventually figuring out exactly where to touch. He laughs and laughs and laughs as you tighten up around him and beg and plead for him to stop— But he chooses to interpret it as telling him to continue.

Greedy bitch, he hisses out. All you needed was a bit of cock to set your mind straight— I’ll make you cum, don’t you fucking worry. But he finishes before you, filling you up with rope after rope of hot cum, as you shudder and shiver in disgust underneath him. And he does make you cum. It feels more like a release of pressure rather than anything pleasurable, though you can’t stop the strangled cry leaving your mouth, or the convulsion of your inner walls.

Adam pulls out of you, laughter still on his lips. Pity to have to kill a decent pussy such as this one. Ah, well, whatever. And—

[starstruckmoony]

I am sooo glad you take requests! Feel free to decline this if you dont like the idea but can you write a fic with either James or Sirius (your choice :)) in which the reader fears intimacy and like has a hard time trusting people, which makes them not believe James/Sirius’ love so they think the flirting is just a friendship thing. And they cant understand why reader keeps running away but when they find out the reason James/Sirius tries to convince the reader to give their relationship a chance? I hope you like the idea, thank you so much in advance!!

thank you for the request anon!! sorry for taking too long with this, exams got in the way so my motivation for anything was pretty much below zero :") but i loooove this idea, so here you go! i hope you like it! <333

daylight.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x reader

trope/tags - friends to lovers, fluff

word count - 3.6k

warnings - language

sirius black was what one may call a heartthrob. winning everybody over with the snap of a finger, being the main topic on everyone's diary pages, having people fall to their knees with a simple glance sent in their direction. some wanted to be him, some wanted him. he loved the attention, of course, the thrill of having so many people fall for you was rather addicting thing for a teenager, but he wanted someone else, and that someone just happened to be you. and it wasn't just a simple type of want, the "let's snog in the broomstick closet a couple of times till i get bored of you and find another", no. he wanted all of you. sirius black was in love, but it was really not going his way this time.

"i don't know why i keep getting rejected." sirius whined hopelessly, tossing his tie somewhere on the floor in frustration and slumping down onto his bed. the mattress squeaked from the impact, making remus look up from his open book.

"you've been on nine dates." james pointed out, trying to calm the other down. nine didn't seem like a big number to him (as he had gone on at least 30 with lily before she agreed to become his girlfriend), so the poor bloke got ignored. sirius kept on rambling thoughtlessly.

"that's the bloody problem, nine dates, prongs, nine! and you know what? they weren't even proper dates. not even proper dates! do you hear that? like are you getting that? not. even. proper. dates. fuck!" sirius grunted, falling back into his pillows with a rather distressed sounding sigh. remus rolled his eyes.

"they weren't?" peter chimed in. he wasn't usually the one who showed much interest in his friends' love lives, but he sure found  whatever the hell sirius had going on with you rather intriguing.

"'it was lovely hanging out with you sirius, you're a wonderful friend.' after each and every single one so, no, don't think they were." peter felt guilty for cringing, and he could only look towards sirius with a sympathetic glance.

remus, on the other hand, was finding the situation a bit ridiculous. he simply couldn't suppress a snort, and sirius did not fail to catch it, "what are you laughing at?"

"you." he threw a pillow in remus' face.

"give it more time, mate, i'm sure it'll work out eventually." james was really trying his best to reassure his best friend, but it was never easy with sirius. especially not now that you were in question.

"don't you think i'm trying? i'm– fuck. fucking fuck." he put his face into his hands, groaning loudly in distress."i think i'm gonna go mental." he said dramatically.

"seems like you're very serious about this, sirius." remus said nonchalantly, drawing laughs from both james and peter. sirius inhaled sharply. he was, indeed, very serious about you. it wasn't everyday that he actually felt like he was falling somebody, and it certainly wasn't everyday that he, sirius black, one of the most confident blokes in the whole bloody school, was turning red trying to talk to a person. and you just kept rejecting him, subtly that is. friend this, friend that. friend, friend, friend. he loathed the word. he wanted you, and not in the platonic sense.

"you lot are shit mates, you know that?" sirius huffed angrily, crossing his arms and sulking like a frustrated toddler.

"we love you too, padfoot." james blew a kiss his way, jumping up onto his feet when sirius began chasing after him with a wand in hand. they sped down the stairs from the dormitories and into the common room - sirius was yelling and james was laughing hysterically. the pair ran past the sofa where you and lily were sitting. you were pretty sure they fell over somewhere outside the portrait hole and were probably wrestling judging by the sounds they were making.

"that's the man you fancy, huh?" marlene scoffed from the corner of the room, giving you a judgemental stare. you shrugged, scratching the back of your neck in thought. yes, that was the man you fancied indeed. sometimes you wondered why, but then he'd lock his eyes with yours and every sense of doubt and uncertainty would wipe itself away. it wasn't all that easy, though.

"and lily's gonna marry his other half," mary put a hand over her heart, "how romantic." she wiped away a fake tear.

"romantic?" marlene said in disgust.

"oh sod off, you two." lily rolled her eyes. "sirius isn't half-bad." her way of speaking was so honest, it was suspicious. you squinted your eyes at her skeptically.

"what? can't really chat shit when my boyfriend is basically the same, minus the lack of critical thinking and self-awareness." lily winked at you. you put your face into your hands, screaming into them. you heard mary snicker.

"are we talking about the same james?" marlene teased, raising an eyebrow. you suppressed a laugh.

"we get it, you hate men." remus rolled his eyes as he appeared in the common room, and let himself fall onto the couch right next to you. he stared at you in amusement when he noticed your regretful expression.

"something on your mind?" he questioned.

"sirius," mary coughed, "sirius." she coughed again.

"oh." remus laughed to himself, and then went quiet. you thought, hoped, that the conversation would come to an end there, but remus had different intentions.

"do i create drama or not?" he said in thought, trailing his eyes over you and your friends. you pursed your lips in thought.

"oh, please do, the last interesting thing that happened was when marlene and dorcas were found snogging in the forbidden forest after attempting to use the imperius curse on one another." mary said desperately.

"and that was two months ago." lily added.

"i hate all of you." marlene made a face, and stuck a hand down her pocket to pull out a cigarette.

"alright then," remus smirked, throwing an arm around you, "sirius threw a tantrum about five minutes ago because you keep rejecting him." your eyes widened. you stopped breathing for a moment. what the hell?

lily's jaw dropped in amusement, marlene burst out laughing, and mary appeared to be coming up with plans on how to organise your wedding ceremony. for real this time.

"i'm sorry, what? he what– he did– remus–" you stumbled over your words, not knowing how to form them. sirius fancies you. you flung yourself backwards into the couch, your face was painted with worry. sirius black threw a tantrum because you rejected him. sirius fucking black threw a tantrum because you rejected him. "merlin's bloody beard, what the hell?" you ran your hands through your hair, exhaling exhaustedly.

luckily, none of your friends were that oblivious, and they quickly noticed that you weren't taking piss acting like nothing of this sort had ever actually been brought to your attention.

"hey, why the face? that's good news!"

"am i experiencing the consequences of miscommunication again?"

"i thought you fancied him!"

"are you okay?"

questions, so many questions and shocked and confused faces left and right. as much as you hated to admit it, you did owe them an explanation. this wasn't the only occasion on which people tried to tell you sirius was into you, but it was different this time because it was coming from remus. sirius was into you. he was into you. he was fucking into you. he wasn't just playing around like he does with others.

"i know, mary. and no, remus. and yes, i do, marlene. and honestly, lily, i don't know." you said it all in one breath, tiredly sighing. you'd been head over heels for the man for years, yet it always felt off. no one knew why though, you never brought it up. your friends knew you fancied him, but you never dared to tell them why you were pushing him away whenever he tried to initiate something. in truth, you were afraid of relationships and you feared intimacy. it wasn't something you could just overcome overnight. you had a difficult time trusting others and you were always vary of who you shared your secrets with and who you would open up to, anyway. so the thing was, it only became worse when it actually came to dating and falling in love.

to top it all off, sirius was naturally flirty, so you too, naturally, brushed it off and chalked it up to his normal, daily behaviour. you'd seen him jokingly flirt and kiss james, and mary, and marlene, and even remus who slapped him for it once, so you simply couldn't envision sirius returning the feelings when he was acting like every single one of his friends was also his significant other. all of that put together felt like an absolute train wreck and you didn't know what to do about it.

both lily and remus soon had their arms around you, and were looking at each other as if they were trying to find a way to telecommunicate and figure out what was wrong. marlene and mary moved over from the corner they were sitting in to the floor, and they were in front of you, with worried and comforting eyes.

"you can say what's wrong, y/n, it's alright." mary said, squeezing your knee reassuringly.

"we won't tell a soul." marlene added with a smile.

"it's just that– i'm– fuck," you started, not knowing if you should talk. you met lily's troubled expression and swallowed the lump on your throat,"i'm so horrified of relationships and sirius is– he doesn't– i thought he was just fucking around and i don't even know if i can trust him to not break my heart and i just– he's the same with everyone, you know, flirting and and all that and i don't want to be hurt and it feels like shit. actual, fucking shit. and intimacy– merlin, don't even get me started– it's scaring me, all of it. and then in the end– i just start feeling like i won't ever be loved, like truly loved, you know?"

"y/n–"

"don't 'y/n' me and try to say you understand." you snapped, "do you know what it feels like? looking at everyone around you all cuddly and giggly with their boyfriends and girlfriends and then feeling like you're going bloody mental because you want it too but you're fucking terrified of it all and then you can't tell if the guy you're into likes you back or not because he flirts with anything that fucking moves and breathes? no, you don't." you bit the inside of your cheek in frustration, and then tried to wiggle out of lily and remus' grasp, but they held you back.

"listen, to me, y/n. it's okay, alright? you're not going mental, or insane or anything like that. and i can assure you're not the only one who's felt like that before." remus said the words a bit unsurely, but not untruthfully. you leaned your head onto lily's shoulder.

"but, what can i do about it? i can't just ignore it all and hope it goes away." you said honestly. you had no idea what to do, and you were afraid that you had no other option but the one you wanted to avoid most.

"well, talking to sirius would be a good start." mary suggested. the other three nodded along.

"and then what?"

"then, assuming that he'll understand what you're saying, you'll feel better and maybe even get a boyfriend who will accept your fears won't force you to do things you don't want to do." lily finished, smiling affirmatively.

"but what if it doesn't work?"

"fuck him." marlene said without thinking, "no really, fuck him. you deserve someone way better, not some slimy prat who can't even respect the person he bloody fancies."

"fuck who and when and where?" sirius entered the common room, appearing rather dishevelled.

"speak of the devil." remus spoke under his breath.

"definitely not you, black." marlene stood up from the floor, returning to her spot in the corner and picking up her cigarette which was sitting in a make-shift ashtray. he flipped her off, and then ascended the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

the following week, something shifted. it's not like you and sirius drifted apart, you didn't, but he stopped being... him? no more hand touching, no more kisses on the cheek. but there were more questions, more asking of what you're comfortable with rather than just doing it immediately. and that's when you began suspecting he overheard your conversation with remus and the girls as you had sort of forgotten him and james were just outside the portrait hole.

in reality, that wasn't really the case. sirius just became kind of, well, depressed. after his little outburst in the dormitories, he lost all of that little hope he had for starting a relationship with you. he didn't know what he was doing wrong, and why you kept putting him in the friendzone when his friends had been telling him that you were clearly into him. was it you? was it him? was it neither of those things?

he became cautious. didn't want to touch you anymore, scared thinking that it upset you. didn't want to flirt with you either, terrified that it made you feel uneasy. his melancholy over it all began projecting onto everybody else around him.

james gave up on attempting to comfort him because he himself was too exhausted by sirius' constant state of dread. peter stayed out of it. and remus, well, remus was fed up with him and would have probably murdered him on a couple of occasions if james wasn't there to jump in and snatch his wand away.

"i still don't know what i did wrong. can someone tell me what i did wrong? 'cause i don't know what i did wrong!" sirius buried his face into his pillow, screaming into it. same thing, over and over, every day, every night.

james and peter glanced at each other, no words exchanged, and they both pretended to be occupied with something else. remus tried his best to ignore him, and continued writing the essay he was working on.

"is there something wrong with me? like geniuenly is there? am i fucked up? oh no, i might be fucked up, what if i really am?" remus' quill snapped. james let out a huff of frustration. peter hid in the bathroom. and sirius kept talking.

"y/n hates me, i just know it. it's 'cause i'm fucked up, that's what i get for–"

"merlin's beard, will you shut up?" remus finally snapped. sirius pouted, looking up at the ceiling with glossy eyes. the other boy sighed, standing up from his own bed and walking over to sirius'. he wasn't planning on ratting you out, you were supposed to talk to sirius and tell him everything yourself, but remus was tired. tired of looking at his friend go through a major case of self-destruction, and tired of having to endure it all. so remus talked, maybe when he shouldn't have, but he did not regret one bit of it.

***

"are you free right now by any chance?" sirius burst into your room a week later, uninvited and without making any previous announcements.

"uh–" you dropped your notebook and quill, awkwardly tossing them to the side, "yeah, definitely. "

"fantastic, let's go." he grinned, stuffing his hands into his pockets and trotting out of the room. you stood up from your bed and quickly put on some shoes, following after him. you happened to pass by james who gave you a pat on the shoulder. one more reason to think him and sirius know. great. fantastic. amazing. the lake was looking rather attractive today.

"where are we going?" you asked once you were by sirius' side.

"was thinking about a walk, nothing too crazy."

"oh, yeah, that sounds nice."

that's what you did. walked and talked around hogwarts, and in the end found yourselves sitting at the said lake despite the  clouds which started covering the sky. sirius never brought up what happened the week before, but you weren't sure if you could stay quiet any longer. it stressed you out more than all of your stupid exams combined, and really, he was going to find out one way or another.

"are you alright?" you asked. not a bad start, you told yourself.

"mhm, why wouldn't i be?" he responded, falling backwards into the grass in sighing in content. you followed his movements, lying flat onto your back.

"i don't know, you're too... alert. acting like i'd break if you touch me or something." you said, fumbling with your hands.

"what?" he turned his head to the side to look at you.

"you heard what i said that night on saturday, after we got back from hogsmeade, didn't you?" you were looking at him too.

"what are you on about–"

"how i said i fancy you but i'm scared of dating you because i'm horrified of getting intimate and i don't know if i can trust you not to hurt me?" you explained, thinking that it would help him remember. or stop playing around with you. he was quiet. you regretted speaking, and were ready walk off, and probably would have if he hadn't grabbed you by the hand when you tried to.

"no, wait! just wait, please." he choked out. and so you did.

"i stopped it all because i thought you didn't feel that way about me," he began, you listened attentively, "everyone told me that you did, and that it would work out and stuff, but i don't know, you always made sure i knew i was your friend, so i figured i should stop pestering you and just settle for that instead." he finished with a shrug.

"oh, no, sirius." you groaned, hugging your knees to your chest and burying your face into them. "and then, uhm," sirius licked his lips, as if he was trying to find the right way to form whatever he was going to say, "remus told me, uh, the same thing you just did." you looked up and at him, scanning his face for any sign of judgement and disappointment, but there was none of it.

"i was convinced he was taking the piss at first or trying to set me up for embarrassment or something 'cause i was getting on his nerves, don't even know what was going through my head," he laughed at himself, "but then i thought about what he said, and i was trying to find a way to talk to you and uhm..." he scratched the back of his head. "turns out i'm not that cool. every time i told myself i'll try, i felt like running off somewhere and hiding 'cause i was horrified you'd reject me. still am, honestly but that doesn't matter 'cause i still– i still wanna be with you, y/n."

you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. sirius black left you speechless once again. he wanted to be with you, even after knowing that what he might get won't be like all of those others relationships he's had before.

"look, i really like you, and i don't think i've ever felt that way about anyone. i know that it doesn't sound convincing coming from me, but it's true. i wanna be with you, like i really, really do because i love you and i–" he cursed silently. a smile began forming on your face, and he wasn't even done yet. "can you give us a chance, please? i'll talk to you, you'll talk to me, we'll communicate everything, if i'm doing anything that's bothering you i'll stop, i'll ask questions, i'll try my best to make it feel right for you, i'll fullfill any wish you have–"

"sirius."

"and if you still don't feel ready or if you're still having doubts, it's okay. i'm not gonna force you to date me, we can be just friends, or break up and still be friends, or break up and never–"

"sirius!"

"what?"

"stop talking."

"okay."

"we can date."

"what?"

"i'll give you a chance."

"oh." he stared out at the lake in shock, his mouth hanging open slightly. "oh!" he turned to look at you, and the smile that stood on his face was brighter than any star in the sky. he pressed his own hands against his cheeks, touching the as if he was trying to check if they were warm or not.

"am i turning red?"

"a little bit." you snickered, your eyes never leaving him. the relief you felt was indescribable. you'd gone out with him today, terrified of what might happen, thinking that you'll lose him forever. and then there you were, with sirius black blushing right in front of you because he was madly in love with you.

"can i uhm–" he cleared his throat, shaking his head for a moment in attempt to get out of the haze that he was stuck in, "kiss... you...?"

"yeah." you said the words in a small voice. the panic on sirius' face was pretty noticeable, and you would have probably laughed in his face to cope with awkwardness you were feeling yourself if he hadn't kissed you before you could. he hesitantly cupped your cheek with his hand, but when you let yourself relax into his touch, he was calmer too.

you pulled away from each other after a few seconds, and you could see that sirius was having hard time holding back a grin. this time you laughed in his face, he laughed at you for laughing at him, and the cycle only continued.

[twig-tea]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke and @waitmyturtles, thank you both for the tag!

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

I want you all to know before I start that asking for favourites is biphobic so you're going to have to ignore the places where I bent/ignored the rules about how many choices I was allowed to have. Also, this is so long, and took forever, I'm so sorry:

Favorite Thai QL:

I could caveat this until the end of time, but I'm going to go with the definition of "favourite" that's "has a special place in my heart" rather than necessarily "best"; and that's undoubtedly Until We Meet Again. I got very not normal about this show. When it was airing, I used to rewatch every episode before the new episode, and then rewatch the newly aired episode at least once before binging the show to date again. And I've binged it several times since. Sometimes if I need to cry, I'll put on the first 10 minutes and ugly-sob. This show felt like an apology and catharsis for years of built-up bury-your-gays induced trauma from queer media, in addition to a balm for all of the external relationship drama tropes in BL. I think I've talked about it around here somewhere before, how this show sets up all of the tropes for things that go wrong for couples in BL, and then everything is fine, over and over? And it was airing during the very start of the pandemic before the world was calling it a pandemic, when I was so worried about everything and governments hadn't caught up to being afraid yet, and I felt so alone, and this show over and over again said "it'll be ok", at a time I really needed to hear that. Plus it's got the whole epic-love-story-across-lives and the family acceptance redemption arc that as a still-only-partially-out-to-my-family-in-my-30s queer absolutely destroys me. Anyway, there are other shows that I would agree are as good or better (shout out to He's Coming to Me, I Told Sunset about You, Bad Buddy, Not Me, The Eclipse), but UWMA remains my fave (and gets two gifs for being top spot).

Favorite Pairing: I have seen this interpreted as branded pairs & as fictional couple, so I'm going to take that excuse to answer both questions. I'm honestly not a fan branded pairs as a thing and agree with @lurkingshan's comments on this, I tend to prefer it when people continuously work with different actors. That being said, JoongDunk seem to be having a lot of fun with the whole fanservice game, which is fun to watch for as long as they're enjoying themselves and continue to be in on the joke, which seems to be the case.

Fictional couple? Right at this moment I am still thinking about Khatha and Dome from Midnight Museum. I think this one hit me in my Chinese epics button, because the story felt a lot like a danmei (not the least because you could argue it reads as censored bromance). But this show asks questions about fate, God, the devil, multiverses, and then has its characters choosing to reject all of the above in order to choose each other? SIGN ME UP. Legitimately it's the most fun I've had watching a tv show in awhile, it was bananas, and I loved the journey of Khatha figuring out who Dome was in relationship to Chan, and deciding to love Dome as Dome, at the same time that Dome was also figuring out who he was, and deciding he preferred who he was when he was with Khatha. But also just Tor + Gun are incredible actors (Tor having been a stand-out since Hormones and Gun of course since The Blue Hour) and I would watch either of them in anything, but together they were magnetic (and evidence for my earlier point re: branded pairs, as much as I enjoy Off & Gun together!).

Most underrated actor: I'm going to say James Teeradon. He had a few small roles in Hormones 2 & 3, Diary of Tootsies, and The Stranded, and he had the main role in Project S: Skate our Souls and in Great Men Academy. First, I should say, you could argue none of these classify as BLs. Second, all of these have trigger warnings, so please take care of yourself and feel free to ask if you want content warnings. But he's one of those actors who never looks like the same person in each role he's playing, and he absolutely gives me shivers. His performance as Boo in Skate our Souls was legitimately chill-inducing--this one in particular has serious trigger warnings, I put off watching it for a long time because I knew about the warnings and waited until I was in the right headspace, and it still messed with me for weeks. But oh man, oh man that show, it rewrote part of my DNA. I don't even know that under-rated is fair to say since there was buzz around him when he was in these shows a few years ago, but he was trying to make it as part of a band for awhile and he hasn't been in much since. If there's one person I want to see in something else who a lot of other people don't talk about these days, it's James.

Cheating and taking the opportunity to choose a second actor from definitely-a-BL series: Fluke Chinnathan from Second Chance the Series. While Second Chance had a lot of flaws, the acting by Fluke and Tong was stellar. Their micro-expressions and body language was unreal. I feel strongly enough about this that I wrote an ode to it as part of the BL-Bracket for best kiss scene. No idea what Fluke is up to or if he even wants to keep acting, but I'd love to see him in something else--he's one of the only other actors (than James, mentioned above) that I'll go in to MyDramaList occasionally just to check to see if they're in anything new. PS if you do give Second Chance a shot, please know going in that Run and Games, real life brothers who are both actors, are both in this series but never in a scene together, and their characters are similar, so a lot of people have trouble telling them apart without knowing there are two different characters in the show.

(Also, I 100% would have said Suar for this question before La Pluie, because he did not get enough credit for You're My Sky and I think he was incredible).

Favorite Character: Honestly, I've deleted my answer to this so many times now. Choosing one is so hard! I'm going to go with White from Not Me. Incredibly loyal, strong moral values (but willing to break the rules/law to fulfil those values because he understands that law ≠ morality), self-sacrificing, extremely competent in some ways, but also has serious blind spots in others that leads to him making very silly choices especially around who they trust, lacking in self esteem especially around whether or not people will want him around. The way he chooses to give up his privilege--not for his brother, because he could have found a way to go back to his old life after everything if he wanted--because he saw what was wrong with all of it and decided to do what he could to help fix it (and not participate in it) is something that really resonated with me. I also love that he is an absolute marshmallow who cannot hide that fact. Plus White being a disaster bi who wanted Sean from the beginning endeared him to me forever. And it doesn't hurt that he's played by Gun Atthaphan

Favorite Side Character: I have also started and stopped this section so many times. Natty and her absolutely terrible taste in women from Diary of Tootsies, Na being at some points the only reason I kept watching Tonhon Chonlatee, Namo being smart enough to know to pretend she doesn't know what's going on in Not Me, Tong the ecovillage owner from Bad Buddy, Daisy and their incredible gender and mix of self esteem + self esteem issues in Secret Crush on You.

Alright I'm giving it to Dream in Something in My Room. I don't have good reasons for this; her character was artistic, had supernatural powers, green asymmetrical hair, and was stoic with a hidden dark past, and I am a simple woman. I wanted to know everything about her.

Favorite scene in a QL: How can I choose just one?! I'm choosing three and you can't stop me.

Third place, Not Me, with Sean and White under the pride flag. It has everything: It's iconic, it's cinematic, it's cathartic, it's political, it's a critical character moment, it has great music, it's full of queer joy, and it brings me so much happiness every time I see it.

Second: Dean and Pharm in front of the Pra Aphai Mani & sea ogress sculptures in the aquarium in Until We Meet Again. Partially because I love aquariums so much, partially because this sequence is one of the first ones we really get to see the hints of Intouch in Pharm. The way he moves around that aquarium is nothing like how he moves at school or his condo, and it's one of the things that struck me so hard on rewatch; while that scene did so much work towards establishing their characters the first time around, the second+ time it has so much more meaning. The throwaway line by Pharm about relating to the ogress now gives me chills.

Plus the way the aquarium scene got called back in I Promise You the Moon makes me really happy.

But first and top, the one that will forever live in my mind for the way it made me feel in my body: Teh and Oh-Aew on the rug in I Told Sunset About You. That moment, my god. Butterflies. Chills. Chewing glass. Devastation. I don't know that I've ever felt any other scene so viscerally; it transported me back to being a teenager and cuddling in clearly non-platonic ways with my bestie and wondering what was happening. Thinking about it now still gives me goosebumps. Maybe a bit of a weird choice because of the pain but I don't shy away from some pain in my faves!

Favorite line in a QL: Honestly I could put one of several meaningful quotes in here, probably the ones I've thought about most being the one from Bad Buddy that a few other folks have noted ("I may not be able to change the world but the world can't change me either"); and "can't we just get a little bit of space?" from The Warp Effect that I mentioned in my Silvy appreciation post. but the first thing that came to mind was this cracktastic banger moment from En of Love: This is Love Story that runs through my head every time a character P-Nong's someone when they don't mean it like that (and especially when newbies get confused about whether characters are actually related):

"'P' but not brothers; the way 'daddy' [said in English] doesn't really mean father. You get it?"

--Param, being a little shit (affectionate)

But also I think special mention needs to go to this new and immediate classic by Tien in La Pluie:

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I am very excited for 23.5 and Only Friends, also WuJu Bakery (does that count if it's Korean but starring Thai actors?) but....This is niche and might never happen, but MindTrio announced awhile ago that they were going to put out Chemistry in Love, which was either a sequel or related to Calculating Love? Listen, this is a low-budget production company making a slightly quirky trope-filled shorts that tend to have pretty cinematography but falter a bit on plot and pacing, and in Calculating Love the main character hits on his love interest with a series of math/graphing equations and coffee. I fully acknowledge that I am a particular kind of nerd, but I just really, really want to see people flirting with their Extremely Geeky special interests. Some sort of of follow-up to Calculating Love has been a maybe-thing since 2020, so it's most anticipated by amount of time I've been waiting. I have a list of 290 "upcoming" shows that may or may not ever happen so I'll stop there.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: I was very persuaded by @waitmyturtles' arguments re: King and Uea, and I thought about My Only 12% and even wrote a whole thing about Tinn and Gun from MSP before deleting it.

But I'm going to use this soapbox to give a hot take and say, by the end of the series, that it's Nuea and Toh from Secret Crush on You. Both of them have secretly loved each other for the whole series, and shown it in their own very unhealthy ways: Toh by keeping a collection of everything that reminds him of Nuea, and Nuea by being extremely cool-guy persona around Toh. But by the end, both of them have aired their insecurities about their relationship, and have committed to working on their relationship together. Toh stops assuming that they will break up (which Nuea explained was hurtful to him) and declares he'll fight for their relationship in front of Nuea's parents, and Nuea allows himself to be seen as very uncool through his vulnerability, and is more open about his uncool thoughts and feelings. I remember them being surprisingly healthy about jealousy too, once they're together, showing trust in one another when that photography club kid shows up. Nuea also makes a really sweet gesture that I think gets misunderstood at the end of the show; Toh explains that his collection makes him happy, that Nuea is more important so he'll give it up if he has to but he really, really does not want to. So Nuea finds a way to make the collection about them rather than about him, so that he can embrace it too and be less discomfited by it. I feel like there's not enough "meeting people where they are", and too many makeover fantasies in romance for my tastes. Instead, Secret Crush on You said listen, people are weird, and we all just need to find the other weirdos whose jagged edges fit with ours. And it's work figuring out together how they will fit, and they won't fit perfectly, but that's ok. As long as everyone is comfortable, it can be a little weird. It may be less realistic than say the way similar themes are handled in Utsukushii Kare, because behavioural change (especially around self-worth) is hard irl, but the question wasn't about which relationship is most realistic lol SCOY also said embrace cringe culture and I am here for it even if it is sometimes hard to watch because it is SO CRINGE; but I respect it for living its truth.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Oof. I am a strong believer in "if it works for them, that's their business", as is probably evident from above, but the reveal of what was going on with King and Peat in Love Area (parts 1 & 2) was really next level BS and managed to be both toxic and ableist, so it gets a special mention and no gif.

Guilty pleasure series: I don't really subscribe to feeling guilty about liking things, but I have a bunch that don't get a lot of love and I fully understand why lol In addition to the example of Calculating Love above (which is like, a 6 on MDL, and TBH harsh but fair), I really enjoyed I Will Knock You. Maybe it was just the novelty but I loved the character of Noey so much, his vintage aesthetic, the amount of time spent around and in temples, and the most adorable closing credit sequence of all time (shows that have closing credit sequences that reflect the main relationship in the show is one of my favourite tropes!). The criticisms about it, especially the ones about the Thi character, are fully valid and I would not actually recommend it without a lot of caveats (e.g. warnings for blushing virgin trope + age gap, and sooort of glorification of gang membership?), but I had a great time.

Also maybe Y-Destiny episodes 9 & 10? Tohru and First as Kaeng and Puth, whew. I have a special place in my heart for storylines where the characters sleep together as friends with benefits and then have to renegotiate those boundaries because I've lived it more than once lol (Only Friends when?!). But the ending episode for the series was actually so offensively bad, I like to forget it exists.

Most underrated series: You're My Sky and He's Coming to Me have already gotten a lot of love so I'll just say YES to those. Would have said My Ride before this recent release to YT. Does Triage count if it's nominated for awards but nobody ever talks about it (probably because the distribution was so messy)? I think My Only 12% doesn't get enough love because of the pacing of the last episodes, but the rest of the show was SO good.

But I'm going to take this opportunity to get on a sandbox about Diary of Tootsies (spanning S1, S2, and the movie sequel Tootsies and the Fake).

This show is not BL; it is decidedly queer. There is no single love story, and if there is, it's undermined. And yet, because it's a comedy, it also gets overlooked in the lists of Important Queer Viewing (which is fair, honestly, that is not a read). But it means my blorbo of a show often doesn't get hyped up, so I'm taking the opportunity.

This show I would argue sits squarely in the by/for/about queers category as per @wen-kexing-apologist’s by/for/about Venn diagram. Watching it feels like a group hug; it's so very clearly written by actual queer people (even if this wasn't confirmed everywhere online, the screenwriter is out and speaks about this, but it's also just obvious) and I recognize so much of my friends and people I've known in these messy queers. It deals with casual sex, drug use, HIV, adoption, being closeted at work, and more.

It is also so funny. I didn't think I liked toilet humour until Make it Right and Diary of Tootsies proved me wrong. I honestly think about the scene with Natty and the handbag in the car approximately once a month. And the opening sequence of the sequel film!! What a choice for opening credits. And these queer friends are mean to one another, even in the moments they're being supportive of one another, and it is both familiar and delightful (also reminds me of this post by @bengiyo about whether viewers still love us when we're mean). The found family tropes are STRONG in this one, friends.

There is some fatphobia, though I always struggle with how much to warn for that because this show also has one of the only fat characters in QL who gets a character arc, a love interest, and to be a whole person. And to dance! The dance sequencesssss especially in S2, oh my heart. So much queer joy in this show in general!

Last thing I'll say about this show is that it also gets left off people's lists because the "main couple" if you can say there is one is not the one most fans were rooting for--I will admit, myself included. But the narrative convinced me to be satisfied with what we got, which is honestly to its credit!

Anyway TL;DR Diary of Tootsies makes me extremely happy and I'm glad it exists.

OMG ok I am letting this go now. Tagging @redxblueihateloveyou because you've not been active for awhile so this way you'll see this whenever you come back, and @formayhem because we are newly buds and I'd be curious about your answers! At this point everyone else must have been tagged by now, so please just consider yourself tagged if you haven't done this yet and tag me so I see it! I've been loving reading everyone's answers.

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

Hi! First off, I want to say how awesome and well-organized this page is. I know how much work it must be to put it together. I do think that the word retired has an air of finality to it, like it's implied that the authors who appear on the retired authors list are done writing THG fics. But they might just have stuff going on in their lives or writers block and that's why they haven't updated in awhile. I feel like there might be some authors who won't enjoy finding themselves on that list. Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. I've enjoyed seeing all your posts.

Hello!

Thank you so much for your perspective! I can understand where this is coming from and did debate on what term to use for categorizing the authors, which is why I do put that note on the top of each masterlist noting the differences in categorization. I, in no way, meant to imply that these authors are never coming back into the writing game! I've seen writers take years off and come back into the writing game stronger than ever. I'm truly sorry if it came off that way.

I looked into a few other fandom blogs similar to this and noticed "retired" being a main word used for authors who haven't updated fics in a while but are active in the fandom or writing but from other fandoms. I've also seen the word "Hiatus" used and debated on that for a while. I'm always open to suggestions and comments like these, especially from authors as you are the individuals most directly affected by my word choices. I never intended to make authors feel upset and tried my best to use more inclusive terms. I chose not to do "inactive authors" series for this exact reason because I did not want someone to stumble upon the list and be hurt by it in some way.

Please continue to share your thoughts on how I can make this blog more inclusive of everyone in the fandom and how I can use my language in a better way for this specific series which is "a blog/writer who has updated within the past year but has not posted a fanfic in the fandom in the past year". Or let me know if the series should be terminated if the idea isn't a good one. I truly thought that by highlighting these authors it may help more people find them and perhaps inspire them to write again or at the very least have a nice few comments to discover one day. BUT if this series seems in poor taste please let me know!

As followers of the blog, or THG writers, I'd like your input on what that series should be called. I'll make the appropriate changes/edits to upcoming releases and past releases in accordance with the results of the poll.

I put the a week timer on the poll and will hold the remaining posts in that series until this poll closes and we decide on a new term as a community.

Again, I am so sorry if I offended or hurt anyone in the community. I strive to create an inclusive and friendly safe for everyone!

-Admin:e

[dogtoling]

F.A.Q.

Something to link on my blog because I keep having people ask me the same stuff like, every week. So here's a summary of the blog and stuff

Q: What is this blog? A: Hi, I'm Dodo! And this is my Splatoon blog. This is primarily an art blog but somewhere along the way this has become a speculative biology blog and headcanon space. Put simply, it's "trying to turn Splatoon real".

Q: What do you post here? A: Mostly my Splatoon OCs. Occasionally, I post five mile long rant posts and essays about Splatoon, or Inkling biology, or my headcanons in educational comic form. If you've seen the Kraken Post or Inklings and Color or whatever I called that, those are mine.

Q: Why do your Inklings look like that? A: I approach Inklings from the angle of them being squids that evolved to be bipedal, rather than "human with some squid traits" as they're often depicted. Within the community, this is often referred to as "xeno inklings", which just means Inklings with animal traits. I don't really tag my art as such, but contextually it's the same thing. If that kind of thing makes you mad for some reason just don't follow.

Q: Your [insert headcanon here] is not canon compliant. A: Right, disclaimer now: a lot of the things here are NOT canon compliant. I try to keep most stuff canon compliant, but sometimes things are stupid or make no sense and that's when we build around it.

Q: Can I use your headcanons/inkfish designs? A: This is a question I get regularly. Feel free to use my headcanons and inkfish designs! You can also build upon them or use them as inspiration for your own headcanons. All I ask is not to copy my OC designs.

Q: Where can I see/read your headcanons? A: My headcanon tag is #squidthoughts.

Q: Where can I see your art/OCs? A: On the blog, my art tag is #dodo art, you can also see comics at #dodo comics (and here is a masterpost of links to the bigger ones). If you want to see profiles for my OCs and more comprehensive art galleries, see my toyhouse)

Q: What program do you use to draw? A: Clip Studio Paint, mostly keep it simple with one brush lol. I doubt anyone was going to ask about brushes anyway because I literally just use one with pretty much no line variation.

Q: Do you do requests/commissions/art trades? A: None of these... sorry!

Q: Do you have Art Fight? A: Yes! I usually go hard on the event (my final tally for 2023 was 69 attacks). My page.

Q: Can I send an ask? A: Yeah, but keep in mind I sometimes take a while to answer. Also, if you're just going to send your own headcanons, consider just publishing them to your own blog (it gets frustrating getting "asks" where there's not actually anything to answer). Also if you're going to send something mean because you don't like something, just leave instead and go send something nice to someone you like.

Q: Can I ask about your OCs? A: I accept asks for and about my OCs with open arms. In fact, you can send asks directed to my OCs in my ask box and I'll draw a response in most cases. (Tag for these: #ask oc)

Q: When did you start playing Splatoon? A: I started in late 2015, with Splatoon 1. But I started this blog around 2018, I think? If you play Splatoon, you might've seen me (sticky boy). I mostly play Salmon Run.

Q: What's your main weapon? A: I've grown as a person and am no longer an E-Liter 4K main. However, I don't really have a main. I like variety in games and my goal has been 3-starring every weapon in the game... so eh. I like Chargers, Rollers and Splatlings the best. Also if I get annoyed enough I revert back to being an E-Liter main. Sorry

Q: Do you play other games? A: Before Splatoon, Zelda was my main fandom alongside Pokemon. My favorite games are Pokemon Legends Arceus, Zelda: Twilight Princess, Splatoon, Night in the Woods and Minecraft. Other than Splatoon and Minecraft though I barely ever play anything else. Q: Are you American? A: Despite the fact that I'm always posting shit at US afternoon times, I am in fact from northern Europe. My sleep schedule is just all over the place and I get productive at 11pm onward. lol. (Guess what time it is right now!!??!?)

Q: What if a question I was going to ask wasn't here? A: My ask box is open. Just send it there and if it's a common enough question, it'll probably pop up in this list later.

-

Mandatory addition: I also run @splatreference. If you're an artist or writer, the blog has pose references for every weapon in the game, and references for stages and in-game areas.

yup thats the FAQ thanks for reading

[tw-inkl-e-tit-s]

✩-Blind date-✩

Pairing: Miguel Cazarez Mora x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Type: fluff

Warnings: Cussing?? not many warnings lol just fluff

A/N: Mia is Pink and Y/n is Purple in text

| Miguel Cazarez Mora Masterlist

Y/N'S POV

I stared in the mirror at my reflection as I put on my earrings and all my jewelry. I was getting ready for something my friend had planned, I think she was just running low on content for her youtube channel and needed something to post. My bestfriend Mia was a Youtube with over three hundred and forty subscribers, She has had me and our other friend Miguel in a couple of videos, and some we appeared in together. The second video we appeared in was when the comments started, Some of the comments said stuff like,

"Look at the way they look at each other!"

"He is so in love with her"

"They are defiantly dating!? OMG!!"

And not to mention the mass amounts of fan edits we both have been tagged in where the fans ship us together. I didn't know Miguel personally, He is just usually there when Mia is filming and so am I, I thought he was very attractive and he defiantly made me nervous when we got too close, The way he would look at me was like I was the only girl in the world.

I have told Mia about my small (HUGE) crush on Miguel and she freaked out and told me I needed to ask him out or tell him about my feelings, but I just never did because I was always scared he would reject me or think differently of me even though it didn't matter because it's not like we hang out alone.

I also am kinda talking to somebody at the moment, It isn't anything serious and we aren't in a relationship or anything, I just thought he was attractive and wanted to get to know him, but from what my other friend Ash told me he is a player, I don't really care I just wanted a distraction for my feelings for Miguel.

I saw my phone light up with a notification from Mia, I grabbed my phone and clicked on her message.

Mia Bear 🐻💕

Are you ready?

I'm parked outside hurry!

I'm ready just need to apply lipgloss omw!

I'm so excited!

I think you're gonna like who I picked for you 🤭

I hope so, is it that Bryan guy? cause if so I ain't going

What?

No! This guy is short sorry lol

But he is cute AND funny I KNOW you will like him

Now hurry your apartment complex is scary

I sighed as I shut my phone off and put it in my back pocket, I put on some lipgloss and looked at myself once more in my full-body mirror to make sure I still looked good, I then walked out of my bedroom and shut my lights out and said bye to my animals and grabbed my purse walking out of my door and making sure to lock it behind me.

I walked into my elevator and clicked "Main floor" I waited for the elevator to open and walked out to see Mia parked outside talking to her Camera in the car, She looked over and saw me walking up to her and pointed the Camera at me,

"Oh my damn, You look good if he doesn't take you I will," She said zooming in on my outfit

I giggled doing a little spin for the camera, "So are you ready?" She asked as I got in her car

"I don't know, You said he was short," I said side-eyeing her

"You got a problem with short men?" She shouted laughing after

"No it's just a lot of short guys think they are hot shit and they ALWAYS have a big ego," I said

"I promise you are going to like this guy, He's humble," She said

It's not that I didn't trust Mia- I did one hundred percent, It's just me and her have completely different tastes when it comes to people we date, I hope she ACTUALLY picked someone I would go for and not someone she would go for, does that make sense?

We pulled up to a park and she told me she would be right back and that she had to go seat something up. I was so nervous so I decided to take my mind off of it by Taking some cute pictures and liking some fan edits.

Mia opened the car door after fifteen minutes, She climbed in and pulled out her camera,

"You ready?" She asked

"Yeah kinda," I laughed

"Don't be, You look great," She smiled and turned her camera on setting it on her dashboard

"So me and Y/n just arrived!" She said to the camera

"Hey guysss!" I smiled

"So all you know is what?" She asked turning to look at me

"So all I know is it's a blind date, we are going to the park and that's all I know," I said

"Yeah I didn't tell you much cause I didn't want to spoil it," She said

"I need to know if I am wearing a blindfold and do I get to see who it is like right when I get there?" I asked

"Yeah I'm gonna keep the blindfold on you guy's until you like- sit down," She said

"I kinda wanna keep the blindfold on," I said covering my face

"What your scared he's uggo, He isn't uggo I promise I would never do you dirty EVER!" She said laughing

"Good I didn't think you would," I said laughing with her

"Alright give me all your thoughts," She said as fixed her camera some

"Okay so when you said blind date I was like aw cute and fun, but I am also in like a sticky situation, I do have a little bit of a situationship going on but it's not like I'm somebodies girlfriend," I said

"But it's fine you can still go on this date," She said

She opened her glove box and pulled out a pink bandana and unfolded it,

"So I got this bandana, but I don't want to ruin your lashes so it's gonna have to be a bit loose so don't move around a lot," She laughed as she put the bandana on my face and tied it in the back

"Alright I think that's good, Can you breathe?" She asked

"Yeah I think- Enough I can breathe enough," I said laughing

"Oh shit I'll be right back, don't take your blindfold off okay," She said as she opened the car door and got out

I sat in silence for another fifteen minutes not knowing what to do cause I couldn't go on my phone due to the blindfold on my face, I laughed at the thought of people looking at me through the window wondering what is going on.

I heard the car door open and Mia breathing heavy

"Are you recording?" I asked

"Yeah, I am now why?" She asked

"Oh my god I'm over here with a blindfold on and I can't see anything and all I can hear is Mia over here breathing like a dog," I said laughing

She laughed shutting the car door

"I just know I'm gonna be so annoying on this date and I'm like so sorry," She said

"Wait no It's okay I'm glad you're here because if you would just leave us to fend for ourselves I would like kinda panic," I said

"Maybe I should then," She said

"NOOO!" I whined

"No i'm kidding I won't I'm gonna be annoying," She said laughing

"Isn't this like the perfect first date, like it's kinda romantic huh?" She asked

"Mmm, I don't know about that," I said laughing

"I'll be right back," She said as she got out of the car

MIA'S POV

"Ahh I'm so excited!" I shouted to the camera as I ran toward my bestfriend Miguel's car

He just got here and he looked a little nervous as he got out of the car, And it looked like he also brought his other bestfriend Mason, I blushed a bit as I and Mason made eye contact, I kinda liked Mason and Miguel knew that, He tried to get me and him together plenty of times but I have just never confessed my feelings.

"Are you excited about your blind date!?" I asked Miguel

"Oh, Mason's here to help me!" I said as I pointed the camera at Mason

"You're taking away my boyfriend bro what is this," He said

"Shut up!" I laughed as I handed him the Camera so I could put on Miguel's blindfold

"Are you excited?" I asked Miguel as I put on his blindfold

"Yeah- well I'm gonna be honest I was hyping myself up on my way here but now I'm here and I'm kinda shitting bricks," He said laughing

"Well I wouldn't put you with someone you wouldn't think was cute," I said

"Well that makes me even more nervous," He said

"Don't stutter alright you got this," Mason said reassuring Miguel

"Bro you literally have thousands of girls crushing on you over the internet you got this," I said

We got out of the car and Mason ran over to our side to film,

"Wait I got her flowers!" Miguel said

"You got her flowers?" I asked surprised

"Yeah I didn't know if I should or not but it is a date so," He said laughing

Mason ran to the trunk and pulled out a huge bouquet of roses,

"Miguel what is this oh my god!" I said walking over to Mason to look at the flowers

I had completely forgotten Miguel was blindfolded, "HOLY SHIT!!" Mason yelled I looked back to see a car speeding in Miguel's direction, I quickly ran over and dragged him towards me, and Mason

"You just almost died!" Mason yelled laughing

"Huh?" Miguel asked confused

"Mia almost let you get ran over bro!" Mason shouted

"Back to what I was saying!" I said laughing

"Miguel, why did you get her this many flowers?" I asked since it was so cute

"Oh it's a Ramo Buchon, I got it because I kinda have a feeling of who you are setting me up with," he said

"No, you don't, She is like super tall- like model tall- like taller than you!" I said

I looked at Mason trying to hold in my laugh and he was doing the same

"Damn model tall, How tall is she?" He asked

"Like six foot five," I said trying not to laugh

"Oh hell nah you trynna set me up with an NBA player, I'm good bro," He said trying to walk away but bumped into the side of his car

"No come back you can't see, dumbass," I said

I grabbed his hand and started leading him to the spot that I had set up for him and Y/n, Mason was carrying the flowers and the camera. The spot had a pink blanket spread across the grass with some sandwiches and I also got them some water so they could stay hydrated since it was hot as shit outside.

"Is she really six foot five?" He asked

"Yes, she is!" I said laughing

"Oh god," He mumbled

"Are you still nervous?" I asked

"Hell yeah, I am so nervous Mia," He said

"Okay talk to the camera," I said

"I just- what if she doesn't like me or what if I don't like her?" He said

I was trying to listen but he kept squeezing my hand, was he really THAT nervous?

"OWW, YOU'RE SQUEEZING MY HAND!!" I shouted trying to lose his grip

"Sorry, I'm just nervous!" He shouted back

"Alright we are here," I said

"Just sit down," Mason said

"Uh, I can't see?" Miguel said

"Oh shit right, here!" I said guiding him to sit on the blanket

"I got you some sandwiches and some waters," I said

"Okay, can I take the blindfold off?" He asked

"NO I'm about to go get her, Just sit there and don't talk because she's gonna recognize your voice I feel like," I said

"Okay, hurry up," He said laughing

Mason handed the flowers to Miguel and we both rushed over to my car to get Y/n,

"Alright I am gonna walk you to your knight in shining armor," I said as I opened my car door

"Ahh I'm so nervous!" Y/n said

"No it's fine, Tell me your thoughts," I said as I guided her to the spot Miguel was at

"Honestly I'm a liar, I'm not really that nervous I'm just dramatic, but I also might fall in love," She said

"Aww you might!" I said

"Also he might hear your voice, he might not recognize it but he might I don't know," I said

"HIII!!" She shouted

"Bitch you aren't there yet!" I shouted laughing

"Ohhh," She laughed

Y/N'S POV

"Alright I need you to sit down here," Mia said as she helped me sit on the ground

"Can he hear me?" I asked

"Kinda," I heard someone say

"Hiii," I said

Mia and someone else started laughing,

"Is he here- what?" I asked confused since I couldn't see anything

"No, he is here!" Mia said

"Alright, you guys can take your blindfolds off!" She shouted

I took a deep breath as I slowly pulled my blindfold off,

"Holy shit," I heard someone whisper beside me

I looked over to see Miguel, I fucking knew it!

"Oh my god I knew it!" I shouted and we all laughed

"Hiii," I smiled leaning in for a hug

"Hi, how are you?" He smiled as he hugged me back

"I'm great," I said pulling away

"This was gonna be my guess when you asked me to guess who it was," I said laughing

"I know, I tried to throw you guys off a little bit," She said

"Well, he isn't four foot three that's for sure!" I said laughing

"Four foot three, She told me you were six foot five!!" Miguel shouted laughing

"SIX FOOT FIVE OH HELL NAHH!!" I shouted

"She did us dirty," Miguel laughed

"Yeah I tried throwing you off by saying he was short- and he's like the tallest person in the world," she said scanning Miguel with the camera

"I know I was so nervous 'cause she was like, do you like short kings?" I said

"Not the short king," Miguel laughed shaking his head

"So I got you guys some sandwiches and waters, and um- OH," Mia said pointing at something behind Miguel

He pulled out a huge Ramo Buchon, It had red roses on the outside and white roses in the middle shaped like a heart and it was wrapped in white glitter paper.

"Oh yeah I got you some flowers," He smiled as he handed me them

"Oh my god thank you, these are so beautiful!" I smiled taking them

"I'm like tearing up, this is the sweetest thing a guy has done for me thank you so much!" I said hugging him

He hugged me back and I just wanted to stay like that forever, he felt so warm and he smelled so good and the way his hands wrapped around me so perfectly made me melt.

"Okay since you guys are both nervous it is a good thing I came up with some good first-date questions," Mia said as she walked behind me and Miguel

"I am so nervous deadass, my whole hand is shaking," Miguel said as he held up his hand

"Okay, my first question is did I do great?" She asked smiling at the camera

"I think you did good," I said looking at Miguel

"I think you did great," He smiled looking at me

"Good because I told them in my intro about how you guys think each other is cute and no one does anything about it," She said pulling out her phone

I and Miguel couldn't stop glancing at each other, he just looked so good, and his outfit looked good, He was wearing some black cargo pants, a black shirt, a red jacket, a black hat, and air force ones, and his hair was also pulled back in a ponytail, The site made me wanna drool.

"Okay the real first question is, What is your favorite movie, I'm trynna see if you guys have anything in common here," She said

"I would defiantly have to say y/f/m," I said (Your favorite movie)

"I would have to go with Friday and hangover," Miguel said

"What is that?" I asked

"You haven't seen hangover?" Mia asked

"Wait you haven't seen hangover?" Miguel asked shocked

"No guess we have to watch it," I said smirking at him

"Oh we are for sure having a movie night," he said smirking at me

"Wait you guys are already planning another date!?" Mia asked

"It feels like you guys are fine without me, I'll stay for one more question," She said

"Okay, so what are your signs?" She asked

"Uh, I am a y/z/s what are you?" I asked (What is your zodiac sign)

"I'm a Pisces," Miguel said as he opened his water bottle

"Aw I love Pisces," I said

"Perfect!" Mia said clapping her hands

"Alright I'm gonna leave you guys to fend for yourselves for a bit and I'm gonna go talk to Mason and the viewers," She said as she got up and walked off with Mason

I looked back at Miguel who was already looking at me, I quickly looked down trying to hide my blush, He laughed as he placed his hand over mine holding it, I looked up at him and he smiled back at me, "You look so beautiful Y/n," He said looking me up and down,

I couldn't help but look him up and down as well, He just looked so good, "Thank you, Miguel, You look really nice too," I said laughing

"I was serious about that Movie date," He said

"Really?" I asked

"One hundred percent," He said as he looked me in the eyes

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to go on a date with you," He said

"I think I know, I've kinda been crushing on you for a while," I said smiling

"You should have said something!" He said laughing

"Oh yeah like you should have said something to me about how you felt the same!?" I said laughing

"I was nervous!" He said

"Why I don't bite?" I said smirking

"You are just so… Beautiful and breathtaking, and you are very intimidating like you carry yourself so well that I felt like if I asked you out you would have laughed in my face," He said lowering his head

Did he really feel that way? am I intimidating? He said I was breathtaking!

"Miguel, I wouldn't have laughed in your face, I would have told you how I felt and we could have been dating and we wouldn't have to be on this weird blind date thing," I said laughing

He finally looked up at me as he laughed

"Alright be honest what is your ideal first date, Cause I wanna properly take you out?" He asked

"Okay so I think- not a movie because you are like sitting in silence and you can't really talk to each other- but what would earn you coochie point is like maybe take me out somewhere to eat and be like, Be ready at this time and dress like this I'm picking you up," I said

He threw his head back as he laughed

"Alright it seems like it's going very well, So I'm gonna make things a little weird," Mia said as she sat back down between me and Miguel

"Oh great," I said side eyeing Miguel who was doing the same

"Okay I want you guys to compliment each other," She said

"Okay, I really like your hair and your eyes and your smile," I said

"I love your smile and your eyes and your lips," He said smirking at me

"That's so romantic Miguel oh my god," Mia said sighing

"Okay so I have this friend who I showed a picture of you both to and she said that you both looked cute together and I was like I know I've been trying to tell them, like Miguel is always like yo whats good with your friend Y/n, and then I'm like Y/n Miguel thinks you're cute and then she's like yeah he's cute, and no one will ever make a move," She said mimicking our voices

"All right guys comment down below if you think this went well, get this to ten thousand likes and I will force them to go on a date alone next time, Byeee!" She said as Mason turned off the Camera

"Soooo, yall going on a date?" She asked wiggling her brows

"I would love to take you out on a date Amor," Miguel said

I looked away blushing,

"Ohhh he's calling you Amor now?" Mia said

"I would like that," I said blushing

Taglist: @vancehopperenthusiast @bradyhepner @deadghosy @finneyblakes @mnsnloverhey @jayceflwrs @bookobsessedfreak

[sacrificesapnap]

My all-time favourite DNF fanfiction

Over the last year and a half, I have read almost every single DNF fic that has been posted to AO3, yet ended up with a rec list with just over 10 fics. These are my favourite favourite DNF fics. If you think I’ve missed something - let me know!! I always need new fanfic to read :)

This list will be updated when I find something that I think deserves a top spot. Please make sure you read tags before reading, because a lot of these will have adult content and other possibly triggering subjects. I hope you enjoy!

Heat Waves by tbhyourelame

Word count :  51,840

Dream has always held a gentle admiration for George, but when their nuanced friendship trickles into his sleeping mind, he awakens to a new world of conflicting emotions and longing. Lost in the midst of a heat wave, he continuously listens to a song that works itself in to the very core of his heartache. Floridian nights, unsent messages, spiraling infatuation, and terrible, terrible weather.

This is an obvious recommendation but how could I actually make a fic rec list without putting heatwaves on it. It has great characterisation, a lot of the plot is true to real life or close to real life, and it has a painfully accurate amount of overthinking and pining. Heatwaves itself is finished, however the sequel Helium is a WIP, which the author has said they currently have no plans of finishing. Either way, it’s well worth reading, and a must-read to anyone new to the fandom or new to reading fics. 

When by hayloftown

Word count :  163,493

Trust doesn't come easily, but fear does. Dream was dealt a bad hand, who can blame him for his hostility? Or, in which Dream comes from a bad background and finds safety in a new home. Whether that "home" be the place or the people, he is unsure.

God, hayloftown’s fics are incredible. I am not joking when I tell you I have never cried more at a book or fanfic EVER. It was devastating. That being said I literally had to read it in one sitting. This fic describes complex emotions, feelings and especially bonds between people incredibly, and it is so enjoyable to watch dream’s character develop throughout. I actually felt hollow after reading this, because by the end I loved all the characters so much I never wanted it to end. This fic has some pretty heavy themes, so please read tags before reading this one. 

Stars, Stripes and Aristocratic Snobs by hayloftown

Word count :  122,536

Even hundreds of years since their historical wars over independence, American politics and British royalty still struggle to get along, as seen in the rivalry between first son Clay “Dream” Chapman and Prince George of Wales. After a week long trip to the UK after the "tragic" passing of Prince Charles, the successor to the throne and Prince George's father, the two are forced to get along and put forth a better front for the ever-present media.

It’s only fair to have two works by hayloftown on this list, because they are both favourites of mine. I am such a sucker for royalty au’s (prepare to lots more on this list) so this was perfect to me. The summary says everything you need to know about this fic, so I won’t say too much, but I really enjoyed George and Dream’s dynamic in this fic, and I’m a slut for george in a position of power (sorry not sorry). 

I’ve Never Fallen From Quite This High by Scoops (consciousness_streaming)

Word count :  92,419

A phone call out of the blue after two months in Florida turns George's life up side down. As one relationship falls apart, another falls together.

This fic is soooo good. Without spoiling too much, George deals with his parents’ relationship problems whilst developing a relationship with dream (I’m telling you this because I had this in my marked for later for ages and I didn’t read it because I was scared the aforementioned relationship that was falling apart was karlnap lol). If you love family dynamics and domestic fluff this is a must read. George’s mum is the main character in this honestly she’s such an icon, but I just love the dynamic between all the characters in this. 10/10 would recommend. 

The mon cœur s'ouvre à ta voix series by saintaches

Word count : 108,775 across three works

Dream and George attend the same prestigious conservatoire, and they fucking hate each other.

I will admit that I originally clicked on this fic for the porn. However, after reading the plot that came with the porn, it turned into one of my favourite fics ever. It’s so beautifully written, a bit purple prosey at times, and is honestly art in writing form. Honestly parts of these works are a little devastating, but its worth it for the development of both dream and George individually and their relationship. 

Metanoia by 24notfound

Word count :  246,211

Following the death of Queen of Salacia, George is thrown into kingship. And in reluctantly preparing for an indefinite war on the account of avenging his mother, George's vision seems to get blurred by the unlikely and unexpected bond he forms with the Prince of Vulcan: Dream.

Honestly this is just the perfect fantasy dnf fic, combining royalty and war with elemental powers. Aside from all the family dynamics and dnf’s actual relationship, the two things that I loved the most in this fic were the relationship between George, Karl and Quackity and their wonderful outfit’s and parties. Another perfect work. 

as for praise and worship by squigly

Word count :  121,006

George is a detective working for Scotland Yard investigating a string of art thefts linked to grisly murders. Dream is a gambler who knows more than he lets on. They can't stay away from each other, even when they should.

This is such a wonderful plot heavy story, and the way squigly created this world and developed the story around Dream and George’s characters will have you gripped from the first chapter. Honestly, this story deserves to be published as a novel, it just has such an immersive and exciting storyline that I have no doubt you will read this in one setting (just like I did).

for you, the stars by andthentheybow

Word count :  115,149

There is exactly one person in the entire universe that knows Doctor George Davidson is alive, and that’s George himself. Even with everything against him- starvation, damaged machinery, the environment, and human error- he’s determined to not become the first person to die on Mars. And once they find out he’s alive, his crew resolves to do everything they can to bring him home.

When I first read the description for this fic I was not expecting to love it as much as I do simply because the situation is so far removed from both cc!dnf and c!dnf that it didn’t feel like it would work. However, their characters in this are so true to real life, and the astronauts have to face publicity and pressure from the public. I love this because I feel like georges intelligence gets lost all the time in fanfiction, but hes appreciated in all his genius glory here, pure bamf George through and through. Good bit of angst and pining, a side of karlnap, and really funny roles for a lot of the other smp members, this is just a really enjoyable read.

Reflections by darlingsdream

Word count :  128,341

In which Dream is assigned as Prince George's new personal guard and finds that it is surprisingly easy to fall for the royal with the spunky attitude but incredibly hard to keep his secrets from him.

This is a perfect Prince!George / Knight!Dream story. It has lots of plot twists and angst but its worth it for such a good story. If you love fantasy or the dynamic between princes and their guard, you will love this. I need to reread this asap tbh.

cinnamon and swirl by offday

Word count :  83,327

Sapnap stays quiet a moment, and while Dream sniffles, the little girl in his lap turns, taps against his face like the tears are common. Dream kisses at her hand, promises her he is okay. He acts like nothing is wrong. Like Sapnap isn’t crying in front of him too, when he should be scolding Dream.

“Why didn’t you?” Sapnap asks as he swipes the back of his hand over his nose. “I mean, not even George?”

Dream decides to tell his friends about his daughter right before they move in.

This is hands down the best DNF kid fic ever!! For some reason, I much prefer kid fics where one person is a single parent and the other person joins them later on. This fic is just perfect. I love that it’s not an AU (other than the fact dream is a dad), I live for uncle Sapnap and dreamnap’s friendship and I would die for protective dad!dream like that’s so attractive are you kidding me. I don’t care if you don’t normally like kid fics, read this now!!

Protected by Anonymous 

Word Count :  102,200

Dream is the Crown Prince and the future king. His sworn duty is to protect his kingdom from outside threats, especially from the scourge of magic.

George is his best friend and, technically, his servant. And he has a secret.

I wish the author of this fic would reveal themselves because I would die to read more of their work. Anyway. I love this so so much. It’s a merlin AU fic where George has magic in a kingdom where magic is banned. Another great one for anyone that likes royalty au’s and once again it has a healthy amount of pining and angst all mixed in with fluff and fantasy and ugh I love it. A lot of fantasy fics are heavy on dream protecting George but I love the dynamic in this where magic George is secretly protecting dream and saving his life. To be honest this fic lives in my head rent-free sometimes. Even if you think this won’t be your cup of tea please just give it a try because it’s so good!