#sorry i just got really emotional about ben suddenly

[crimeboys]

anyone else thinking about ben hanscom

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Can we have mama Ben with his youngest moth baby? I need more mama Ben moments.

Sorry for giving so many asks. I just really love your works-

ok you reminded me of that goddamn touching scene when Ben/Big Chill said goodbye to the baby and im just 😭 suddenly got emotional, so i hope you won't mind an angsty doodle???

i know that its canon that Ben forgot about the whole alien pregnancy thing (and that the fandom collectively decided that he is a lying liar who lied about it lol), but i like to think that sometimes he gets dreams about tiny little creatures that have his dna somewhere out there in boundless space.

[sadistic-kitty5601]

I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY SUB SOLDIER BOY (Ben from The Boys) SO I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

Warning!!! Sub Solider boy, smut with plot, DETAILED AND LONG NSFW PART, handjob, edging, overstimulating, anal fingering (Him receiving), 2 orgasms at the same time (Him also receiving)

Summary: You finally managed to make Soldier boy 'open minded', and it definitely pays off...

Soldier Boy had some...unfair opinions when it came to women, and he didn't hide it, nor felt much shame in it, it was just how he was raised, and with his stubbornness, that was how he was and how he will think. It's as simple as that. It didn't mean he couldn't love women, he just couldn't love them in the...’correct' way. If it wasn't for his amazing looks, he'd be pretty lonely. Throughout the years of being a 'man' and a superhero, no woman really stood up to him when it came to his misogynistic beliefs, and when they did, they were too 'emotional' or 'offended' for his liking or understanding.

Well, that was until he met you. You were a mature, intelligent, and beautiful woman, who was also a supe. A real dame. However, that wasn't what gained his respect for you, what really gained his respect for you was how you didn't take any shit. Any of his shit. Every time he made a snarky, misogynistic, or sexist statement, you didn't 'over react', go along with it, or scoff at him, you simply told him he was wrong, staying calm, resilient, and firm. Of course, this resulted in you two fighting a lot, but that's what caught his attention, you challenged him. That's what he really needed, a woman who challenged him, even if he'd never admit it.

But, this was back in the day, before he was frozen...So what about now?...

Due to your power, which was physically warping reality (Sorry, it's the only other cool power that doesn't make you age physically), you didn't physically age, you kept yourself alive, but did lose your position as a superhero, later, parting with The Boys. Then, Soldier Boy was found—blah, blah, blah, you already know.

After getting everything settled, Billy Butcher made you babysit Soldier Boy, and obviously, you two had a lot to catch up on. At first, it wasn't too smooth, you began educating him on the norms, new technology, words he couldn't use, everything. It was a lot to process for him, and naturally, he made a comment about how 'men used to be real men back in his day' and 'women need to step down. You began to speak on it, expressing your opinion, something Soldier Boy secretly missed, loving the boldness and firmness in your tone, which he immediately blocked out. What was he thinking? Instead, he pushed back with his own opinion. This started a debate...except, something was..different? Why wasn't he interrupting you? Why was enjoying this? Why was he...understanding?

After this argument, which surprisingly ended on a good note, you two began to make good progress. Soldier Boy often went to you when he had a question about today's society, Y'all's conversations became more playful, less aggressive, you two became more flirty, even. You two always had some sort of lingering tension back in the day, but now? It was at a peak! Something was bound to happen...

You two were at the place, sitting on the couch as you looked at some papers, records, basically studying to get the upper hand on Homelander. Soldier Boy sat there in his robe, making conversation with you. "Y'know, you were always such a dame." Soldier Boy bluntly stated, smirking ever so slightly at you. "Really? You were never too bad yourself." You returned the playfulness, looking back at him. There was a pause. You sat up, getting closer to him. What was this? No, you both knew damn well what it was. Suddenly, both of you threw yourselves onto each other, lips crashing together, wasting no time getting your tongues into each other's mouths. Your hand cupped his cheek, the other wrapping around his neck as his hands wrapped around your back and waist. It quickly got hot and steamy with your heavy breaths, his rock hard cock standing up in his robe, and intense kissing, tongues swirling around, battling for dominance as your hands explored each other's body's. Deep, deep down, you both ached for this moment so badly, now and even back then.

Maybe all of your conversations on making him woke really did work because somehow, he ended up on bottom. His robe already open, exposing his chest area, fingers intertwined with your hair, his legs wrapped around your waist, letting out groans every now and then. I mean, this was some of the most intense action he's gotten in a long time. Sure, he's had sex with 1 or 2 girls by now, but it wasn't really close, nor intimate, just penetration, then cumming. But this, this was different. You two were close and had so much pent up tension, it was truly a lot. You finally broke the kiss, both of you catching your breath, panting. He mischievously smirked up at you, letting out a gruff chuckle. "Damn.." You chuckled in response, returning his smirk with a teasing grin. "Need a break?" "Psh, hell no." He responded as his grip on your hair got slightly tighter. He wanted more. "Just surprised you're on top—" He said as he immediately pulled you back into a passionate and almost desperate kiss. You reciprocated the kiss with the same energy, one of your hands sliding up his leg, tugging at his robe.

He let out a soft groan as he felt your hands begin to strip him. "Someone's impatient.." He mumbled against her lips with a teasing smirk as he helped you out with his silk robe. Now, he was just in his boxers, his cock twitching with impatience against its confines. Then, you two quickly began to work at taking off your shirt, throwing it to the ground, next to his robe. He bit his lip as he slid his hands up your waist, seeing your bra cup your breasts perfectly. "Fuck, you ladies are always like fine wine." His hips twitched up slightly, seeking any sort of friction, way too horny right now. You grinned deviously as you sat right on his bulge, earning a guttural groan from him. "Someone's desperate." You gently ran your fingers down his chest, teasing his nipples. His breath quickened as he looked up at you. "You're such a tease-c'mon, be that bold woman like you usually are." He gripped your hips as he grinded up into you.

You nodded. "Of course, handsome." You immediately leaned down and began ravishing him, leaving a trail of hickeys and sloppy kisses starting on his neck, passing by on his collarbone, down to his chest, as your tongue glided across his skin in all the right ways, causing him to grind up into you harder, seeking more friction as he groaned deeply and moaned softly, biting his lip and closing his eyes, enjoying the sensations. You came back from eating him up, admiring all the hickeys you left on him. He opened his eyes and looked up at you. "Don't stop now." He muttered out in a hoarse voice, his bulge desperately twitching against the fabric of your clothing. "Oh, I won't, baby." You said as you hopped off his crotch, crawling down and grabbing ahold of his underwear, pulling down. His hard cock sprung out immediately, which caused you to chuckle. "Wow, Ben, you're already so hard for me." He grinned smugly. "What can I say? With a pretty face and a sexy body like that grinding up against me-oh shit—" He was quickly cut off by your tongue swirling around his dick, lubing it up essentially.

After his cock was all wet, your hand wrapped around it. "Ready?" You asked with a smirk. "Work your hands already, woman." He said impatiently, trying his best to keep his hips from twitching, ultimately failing. You raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" You began to stroke his frenulum with some decent pressure, your other hand getting to work on his tip. His breath hitched as both of his most sensitive spots were targeted. He put his hand up. "Wha-H-Hold on a minute! Let me..adjust.." He said, his voice being laced with embarrassment. "Speak to me with respect then." You said in a more authoritative tone. He grumbled, rolling his eyes with a nod. You began to slowly stroke the shaft part of his hard cock, being a bit more gentle...Though, you had way more planned for him. He leaned his head back with a content sight. "Oh come on, you can go faster than that." He said in a snarky tone. You obliged, stroking his cock faster, making sure to focus on the tip more. His groaned and nodded. "Yeah, that's good." He bit his lip, looking down at you, his cock twitched from the sight of you.

I wanna save you time, so I'll just say, this went on for..a while. Why? Because you edged him at least 5 times. At first he was annoyed and confused, which then subsided into desperation.

"If you really wanted to cum...well...you'd ask." You smirked, slowly and painfully stroking his sensitive frenulum, squeezing his cock, watching him twitch and squirm as pre-cum leaked from his red tip. "Fuck...I should've fuckin' known-mmmgh." He thrusted his hips up in your hand, his breathing being ragged. "C'mon already, make me cum.please." He breathed out, his eyebrows furrowing as he gripped the pillow next to him. "Well, there is another option, it'll double the pleasure even." You offered with a devious grin, your other hand giving his balls a slight squeeze, causing him to moan. "What's-What's that, huh?" He swallowed down the moans that so badly wanted to be let out. He needed to cum so badly. "Fingering you." You bluntly stated. "What?" He almost looked offended.

A thousand years after teasing and convincing.

"Alright, alright. Fine. As long as you promise to let me cum." He said, closing his eyes..it felt so emasculating and humiliating. "I will, I will, I know how this is for you." You licked your two fingers, (Yes, I know that's not enough lube, just pretend it is) sliding one in. He grunted, it felt a little painful for the first few seconds.. that was until you immediately targeted his prostate. It was definitely a new feeling, but it felt real good. He let out a quivering moan. "What the fuck was that?" His breath began to become heavier again. You smirked. "You like that, huh?" Your fingers began to slowly pump into him, rubbing against his prostate each time as your other hands began to work at his tip and frenulum, stroking them. Right now, you were hitting three sensitive spots all at once, and he was writhing in pleasure. He panted, his abs flexing as he let out strained moans and practically wheezed breathes as he tried not to seem like he was enjoying himself.

You leaned back up to kiss him, he immediately accepted, taking this as an opportunity to hide some moans of his. His legs twitched and quivered as you slid your knuckle against his prostate, your hand slicking against his aching cock. He almost whined when you squeezed his tip. You then broke the kiss. "More? 'Cause I've got more tricks." He managed to focus his eyes onto you. "Y-Yeah-sure, why no-" He was suddenly cut off by the sensation of..vibrating? Right up against his sensitive spots. "Oh fuck—..oh fuck, oh-fffffuck!— How the hell are you doing that?-Hauh." Now he was really shaking, squirming around, his hands frantically feeling around to find something to grip on, which ended up being your arm and the couch, holding onto it for dear life as he let moans and groans slip out, one after another. "A magician never reveals her secrets.." You replied cheekily, beginning to kiss down his neck. He gulped, trying to catch some air as you sped up your pace, now being less gentle with him, which caused his eyes to roll back. Your fingers went in and out of him faster, your hands stroked his cock in all the right places, all while vibrating at the same time...it was almost too much...

Was this overstimulation? It was almost painful, but in a good kind of way, it was like you wanted it to stop but needed it to keep going. "I'm gonna cum—I'm gonna blow my load right now—" He strained out, panting as his legs squirmed around. He looked up at you with desperate eyes, his hand now gripping your shoulder tightly. "Don't stop-don't you dare fucking stop-ah-y-you promised..ttto not..stop!" He was almost growling now, he truly did need to cum, otherwise he'd lose his mind. "You're right, I promised, so cum, bust all over everything." You nodded as you stroked his tip faster, your hands now pumping straight into him, stroking against his prostate with each thrust. "Yes, yes, yesyesyesyes— c'mon!-" He moaned out, reaching the peak of ecstasy. "Ohhh, fuuuck, Y/N!" He moaned out as he threw his head back, tensing up, twitching and shaking violently as a load of semen squirted out of his cock, even having a prostate orgasm. This was the most intense orgasm he's ever had, probably because it was two big O's. He shook and moaned for a solid 30 seconds before he managed to calm down a little from the intense high.

There was a big mess to say the least. His cum was all over his abdomen, your hand, the couch. "Shit, you were seriously pent up. You alright now?" Now, he was able to make coherent thoughts instead of just, 'Oh fuck’ "Probably because you edged me five damn times-" He quickly shut up when he saw you lick his cum off your fingers, feeling a little tingle. "Damn, you know how to play my cards." He grumbled, lazily smirking, causing you to chuckle, grinning along with him.

Needless to say, he enjoyed himself quite a bit.

THE END.

[cynic-spirit]

The guilt

Back at Y/N's place, the living room was quiet except for the soft rustle of the ice pack as Benny held it against Y/N's bruised cheek. His face was etched with guilt, and his hands trembled slightly as he tried to offer some comfort.

“Does it hurt?” Benny asked softly, his voice filled with regret. He adjusted the ice pack carefully, his concern evident in every movement.

Y/N managed a small, pained smile, her eyes glinting with mischief. “It’s not too bad,” she said, wincing slightly to emphasize her point. “I’ve definitely had worse.”

Benny’s heart sank further at her wince. “I can’t believe I did this,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “You should be mad at me.”

Y/N took his hand, pulling it—and the ice pack—away from her cheek for a moment. “Well,” she said with a teasing lilt, “you might have to make it up to me somehow.”

Benny’s guilt began to shift to a glimmer of hope. “Anything,” he promised, his voice earnest. “I’ll do anything.”

Y/N leaned in closer, her warm breath brushing against his ear as she whispered, “How about starting with breakfast in bed tomorrow?”

Benny looked at her, surprised but relieved. “That’s it?” he asked, trying to mask his relief with a hint of amusement.

Y/N’s grin widened despite her bruise. “For now,” she said. “But you better make it special. I want fresh-squeezed juice and those amazing pancakes of yours.”

Benny chuckled, shaking his head. “You drive a hard bargain, but deal.” He resumed holding the ice pack to her cheek. “Anything else, Your Majesty?”

Y/N put on a thoughtful expression, tapping her finger against her chin. “Hmm, let me think... How about a foot massage later?”

Benny’s eyes softened as he gazed at her, warmth spreading through his chest. “You’ve got it,” he said with a gentle smile. “Anything for you.”

Y/N laughed softly, but as she did, she winced again, making her discomfort evident. “Ouch,” she said, with a playful tone, “I guess you’ll need to be extra gentle with that foot massage.”

Benny’s face flushed with shame as he watched her wince. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said quietly, his voice almost breaking. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She cupped his cheek gently, her eyes softening with affection. “I know, Benny. I know you didn’t mean it.” She paused, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. “Actually, I think you should let me punch you, just to even things out.”

Without hesitation, Benny leaned in, his face inches from hers, his expression one of sincere remorse. “Go ahead,” he said, his voice earnest. “I deserve it.”

Instead of a punch, Y/N gently leaned forward and placed a soft, tender kiss on Benny’s cheek. The warmth of her lips against his skin took him by surprise, and he felt a rush of relief and affection.

Benny’s eyes widened, and he looked at her with a mix of astonishment and gratitude. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said softly, his voice filled with emotion.

Y/N smiled, her eyes twinkling with tenderness. “I know,” she said gently. “But I wanted to. You’ve been so hard on yourself. Let’s just focus on taking care of each other.”

Benny’s face softened as he continued to hold the ice pack to her cheek. He felt a profound sense of love and relief, grateful for her understanding and forgiveness. All that mattered now was being there for her and showing her just how much she meant to him.

As Benny carefully held the ice pack against Y/N's cheek, her gentle gaze met his. The room was filled with a quiet warmth as she spoke.

“You know, Benny,” Y/N began, her voice tender and sincere, “even with everything that’s happened tonight, I still think you’re really handsome.”

Benny’s face flushed deep red, and he glanced away, suddenly shy. “Oh, come on,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m just me. I messed up tonight.”

Y/N’s smile grew as she reached up to gently touch his cheek. “No, I mean it. Your cheekbones are so striking, and your brunette hair looks really good on you. You’ve got this rugged, handsome look that’s hard to ignore.”

Benny’s cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red, and he looked back at her with a sheepish grin. “You really think so?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N nodded, her eyes warm and sincere. “Absolutely. And not just that—you’re in great shape, too. I mean, look at you. It’s really impressive.”

Benny shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his face now a deep crimson. “Stop, Y/N. What are you doing?” he said, his voice trembling with a mix of embarrassment and pleasure.

As Benny held Y/N close, his face still flushed with embarrassment, Y/N’s teasing whisper brushed against his ear.

“And these strong biceps…” she said softly, her breath warm on his skin.

Benny let out a groan, feeling both flustered and pleasantly overwhelmed.

Y/N continued, her voice barely more than a whisper, “And this strong back on which I lean whenever I ride with you…”

Benny’s face turned a deeper shade of red as he buried his face into her neck, feeling utterly exposed. “It would be better if you just punched me, Y/N,” he said, his voice muffled and flustered.

Y/N chuckled softly, enjoying the effect her words had on him. She gently stroked his back, savoring the closeness between them. “I think you’re cute just like this,” she said, her voice tender and teasing.

Benny remained hidden in her neck, his arms still wrapped around her, as he tried to regain his composure. The playful teasing only made his feelings for her grow stronger, and he couldn’t help but smile despite his embarrassment.

[eternal-armin]

SO, HOW SHOULD i begin this?

this is the first time i'm going to do a multi-part fic that goes beyond like 2 or 3 parts (rip to the chandelier fic.) bear with me ;;;; but i'm obsessed with everything everywhere and i wanted to do something with the abilities evelyn and joy specifically have. and, of course, the angst that can come from it. looked over this as much as i could but im exhausted so my apologies for any errors ;;;

pairing : five hargreeves x male/transmasc reader [he/him pronouns]

─────

where : five is instantly intrigued by the eighth sparrow, a kid just like himself, which makes him try to seek him out specifically; nothing better than a second opinion about time from another person who knew its intricacies, right? well, he... may have gotten more than he bargained for.

─────

warnings : future mentions of trauma, fighting and injury (specific mentions of choking), existentialism, reader is just exhausted of life and shit in general, future cheesiness and such because i said so, depression, a whole lot of 'if i can bend reality to my will then how much does it really matter' kind of questioning (later on for the most part.)

the disheartening sight of seven other people—ahem, sorry, and one very confusing cube—was made endlessly puzzling by the appearance of a kid behind them. someone who looked five's age. physically, anyway. they both seemed equally entranced by the other; the kid's eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted, as if seeing someone he had been missing for decades. he furrowed his brow a bit, cocking his head, and klaus found himself peering where five glared.

"well, would you look at that? they've got a little brother, too!"

"zip it, klaus," he hissed, though with a certain degree of gentleness in his voice, even excluding the volume he had to use. looking back at the balcony, he was wearing more casual clothes with a sort of... varsity jacket of the sparrow academy's traditional colors and emblems. he was a sparrow, meaning he was born in 1989, meaning he was around thirty years old. so why did he look thirteen? it clicked then, suddenly; his power could have something to do with time. five felt instantly that he needed to speak with him. and if it needed to be done by force, then...

hands crossed neatly over his lap, barely restraining that very obvious agitation, ben chimed in with, "dad, who the hell are these assholes?"

a chorus of "shit" rang out amongst the umbrellas. five stared at him with the same amount of emotion as usual, mostly overrun by confusion, however his sentimentalities ended there. that balcony, barely a few yards from where five stood, held something—someone, rather—that could be an answer to his predicament. or at least help figure out if he could retire or not. if this world was safe enough to stay in. there was a whole host of colorful characters. if he was the sparrows' number eight, what exactly inspired reginald to adopt him as well? or was it just sort of a convenience thing?

luther stepped forward along with klaus. "is that really you?"

no amusement struck ben. if anything, he somehow managed to look more annoyed.

"and who are the weirdos on the balcony!"

"they are the sparrows. my children." reginald's controlled, vaguely irritated voice was such a contrast to diego's harsh tone.

much to five's chagrin this moment was a bit more important than staring at a boy. he turned on his heel, narrowing his eyes at the old man. "i'm sorry, what do you mean your children? that's not possible, old man."

"of course it is! i think i'd know, wouldn't i?"

well. something was very wrong, wasn't it?

the sound of footsteps and shuffling caught his attention and yet again he looked back forward; all of the sparrows once situated haphazardly on the balcony now stood across the tile threshold. the kid was shorter than he expected, in all honesty, and he seemed to be the least serious out of all his siblings—not to say that he looked like he was having fun or that he was laughing, but that he didn't want to fight. he looked like he would avoid it at every cost.

"everyone else can see ben, right?"

"cute hat, sundance."

"they call themselves the umbrella academy," reginald interrupted, "a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of '63 when i was away on business in dallas. be warned—they claim to be my spawn." all throughout reginald's little schpiel, five and the other kid maintained eye contact, five puzzled at his existence and him puzzled by five's puzzlement. he seemed to find it weird but, oddly enough, he didn't seem weirded out specifically. occasionally five would glance about the rest of the sparrows, gauge them if he could, and when that happened he would sometimes catch the barest glimpse of the kid looking at two of his sisters with confusion.

should i be worried? he was probably thinking to himself.

with five on his opposition? absolutely.

"claim? look, five, what the hell is going on?" allison sounded like she was moments away from boiling over.

"not sure yet, but it's concerning."

"is he telling the truth?" seeming to sense the steadily-rising tensions, the kid started, very slowly, to back away, retreating to the furthest reaches of the carpet before the battle had even begun.

"not the part about us being perfidious." vanya seemed to kind of placate that cowardice in him. maybe he even smiled at vanya.

"no! no, we're amateur-fidious, at best!"

"but we are his children, this is our house."

"yeah, we grew up here."

"yeah, yeah, we grew up here," alphonso mocked, getting a snicker from jayme, however the kid just shot them both a slightly judgmental look.

"i kind of think we would've noticed you," sloane said, to which luther stated his name and offered out his hand. sloane did not accept, really she didn't do a thing, and some whispers broke out amongst her and her little brother, whispers that five couldn't make out.

"okay. none of you belong here."

"oh! well, then. i guess we'll just pack our bags and move out."

christopher babbled and chittered, milking chuckles from his brothers and sisters. five had to say he looked way better smiling than frowning, though he figured it would probably be the same for anyone.

grace came in to the living room, heels click-click-clicking, holding a plate of cookies in her hand and apologizing that she couldn't do better. five couldn't catch the precise details. it was just kind of nice to see her again, even if she was certainly in need of a... few repairs.

"mom." diego's sentimental mumble caught some of the sparrows off-guard. the kid included.

"she's a robot, you perv."

"it's not a robot."

"don't call him that!"

"or what?" ben challenged.

"come closer and find out." bickering broke out between the two families, vanya and marcus actively trying to keep everyone's heads on straight, and five may have lost track of the conversation. until ben threw the first punch, anyway. he ducked back, watching as luther next was flung like a ragdoll across the room, landing on and breaking the poor couch. he saw the boy duck out and wanted to chase but first kept his loyalties, attacking ben and getting lost in a flurry of sharp punches and occasionally-failed dodges.

"you're alive. that's—great, or possibly horrible, i haven't decided yet."

"is that some weird kind of smack talk?"

"it's more of an existential problem, really, ben."

"awesome. well, here's your next problem." with his arms extending back and torso leaning forward, a grimy tentacle quickly burst from his chest, though not fast enough to stop five before he blinked away and onto the balcony.

"y'know, even though you're a total asshat now," five began, rudely cut off by another attack which he yet again evaded with ease. it was easier to land a punch and he watched as ben crashed into the ground. "it's nice to see you again. really." after seeing a particularly disturbing scene between diego and the cube, he stepped in to save allison from a few of the other sparrows, yet again finding himself on the second-floor balcony.

"thanks," allison managed through uneven breaths.

"no problem." both standing up, both dusting themselves off, they saw someone rounding the corner. it was him. still, that look of passive pacifism remained, now somewhat stoic in nature; he didn't want to fight, but he may need to. he was resigning himself to that fact and five could see it in his setting expression. and most importantly, there was also endless loyalty. oh, well.

five furrowed his brow, readjusting his jacket. "go help the others. i'll handle this one."

his new opponent almost seemed to space out, eyes narrowing just a bit as if being flooded by tons of new information. with grace and precision, and certainly speed, he set into a defensive stance. five blinked behind him to try for an attack and it was blocked. he continued to block, evade, block, evade, as fast as five tried to attack. the only sounds he made for a while were little grunts.

every failed punch and every successful block was adding to five's aggravation and his exasperation.

"y'know, five," he said, and hearing him speak for the first time startled five terribly, "delores wouldn't like you fighting like this! i'm not doing anything to you!" that shocked him so bad he misfired a punch but it landed for the first time because of how he went to dodge. he was weaker than five first surmised, falling onto the ground, and five continued to strike him back down until he was pinned and unable to move. he looked enraged, face twisted, eyes wide, teeth bared and gritted, glaring daggers at the kid, who looked to be in quite a bit of pain.

"how do you know my name?!" he barked. "how do you know her name?!" five got no answer and that was endlessly more irritating. the kid slammed his hand onto the ground and grabbed the first thing he could, a small piece of rubble, but five watched as, in those few fractions of seconds, that small piece of debris turned into a metal candlestick.

a metal candlestick.

the moment five saw that, he teleported, reappearing just a few feet away. he pushed off his total confusion; no time. the kid kept the candlestick in his hand when he fumbled to stand, not getting even a moment before five tackled him into a headlock. he didn't think twice about the look of pain on the kid's face because that wasn't exactly imperative and he didn't hesitate at the sounds he made.

the kid raised the candlestick again and five watched in subtle horror as it flitted between many different forms, each punctuated by a small sound and a bit of light. he only recognized a few of those hundred forms before he saw it land, like a wheel of fortune, on a knife and he plunged it down. five jerked out of the way of the blade. even though he had once been so hesitant to fight, so afraid of hurting other people, he seemed finally able to push that away and actually defend himself. he may not have been particularly strong, but he was swift and flexible while wrenching himself out of five's grip and adept at landing hits that would still make five flinch and pause. the kid blocked a punch and the moment that they came in contact with each other, the world around them... changed.

from the slightly destroyed upper floor of the academy house, it became an office building, papers flying about while people panicked about the violent fight between the aisles of cubicles. in that moment of confusion, he landed a hit on five, right in the gut. after a pained second, eyes squeezed tight, he grit his teeth and kept fighting.

the office building had become a high-rise skyscraper that they were fighting on the edge of.

another punch and they were on the deck of a cruise ship.

another block and they were in a spanning parking garage. the kid advanced and forced five to back up, closer to the edge of the space, and certainly to a painful fall. he continued to evade every attempted hit, no matter how five had calculated them, before pouncing on him and shoving him right out of the concrete monolith, plummeting down toward the ground along with him.

"how the hell are you doing this?!" five shouted, voice swallowed up by the shouting winds. he grabbed his shirt, bunching up his collar tight enough to cut off his breathing. the panic in his eyes welled up very quick.

and then they were back. instead of hitting the hard pavement ground, five lost all the air in his lungs when he thudded onto the carpeted academy floor, gasping for a second as the kid scrambled away from him, coughing and wheezing.

five hadn't even strangled him for that long, what the hell?

five forced himself to sit, to stand, shooting the glare to end all glares at the boy across from him—however he didn't attack yet. after all the disorientation he felt from those few... transitions, he wanted to keel over and vomit. he was in no condition to fight. luckily, however, neither was his opponent.

killing the kid would not get five his answers, no matter how badly he wanted to do it.

the kid was on the ground, propping himself up on one of his hands, his entire body seeming wracked by pained, nauseated tremors. he looked to be heaving, expression conflicted, exhausted beyond exhausted. he held his head the way one would when suffering from a bad headache.

his question went unanswered, which just served to annoy five further. "are you a time traveler or something? no. a multiversal traveler? do you work with the commission? that's the only possibility i can think of." knowing about delores, knowing about his name, certainly knowing his past, instantly transporting both of them to different places, it could all connect to multiversal travel.

but that spacing out part, before he could dodge like some highly trained professional, and that debris-to-candlestick-to-knife part? those still kind of puzzled him.

the kid wrinkled his nose. "that's the only possibility? you've got a narrow range." for someone who sounded so pained and exhausted, he could manage some mouthiness. somehow he sounded more genuine than sarcastic, though. strange. what about him wasn't?

five's eye twitched and his lips pressed hard into a scowl. "a narrow range? a narrow range? my 'range' isn't narrow! i've seen so many possibilities unfold! do you even know what i had to do to get here?" his words hissed with pure venom. that didn't faze his opponent, even whilst he jabbed an accusatory finger at him, as though somehow this was his fault.

"i do, actually," he managed, although still short of breath. "you got trapped in the apocalypse for a few decades, offered a deal from the commission, broke your contract with them and became a fugitive, got back to your family, and have been trying to evade apocalypses ever since. third time's the charm, right, five?" he recounted it all with the cadence and sensitivity of a history teacher summarizing an important, yet complicated, period of time.

"how could you possibly know—stop calling me that! how are you able to do any of this!"

"i'm not gonna stop calling you by your name." he laughed through his words. he laughed.

"is my exasperation funny to you?"

"i-i mean, kinda! do you know how many ways i've seen this conversation going?" five stilled like a statue. "this was the most common outcome. well, uhm, aside from you just killing me. it's just a little funny how you always react the same way." he shrugged a bit, as though this was simply some high school gossip, and not (one of) the most puzzling thing that five had ever been exposed to.

"look," five began, trying to steady himself. "if you don't tell me how you know about me—how you know about delores—this will become a timeline where i kill you. okay? capiche?"

he raised his hands in surrender. they shook. "capiche, five."

"stop. calling me that."

"to even the playing field, i'm [y/n]. there." he sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, checking his hands. yet again he seemed to space out, just for a moment this time, before going through a grounding technique. he looked determined now, not as tired as before, though it did remain rather clearly in his eyes. [y/n] was just a kid again. he looked like a pathetic, sick kitten. "it's my power. i was born like this. you travel through space and time, i travel through reality. all of reality. alternate universes, as you know them. close by, far away, ones almost exactly the same and some with very distinctive evolutionary branches. the further away the world, the... stranger they get. i can see literally any possibility. so i—i fucking know you, five. i know you. i know your brothers and your sister and your in-laws and your niece and every other niece or nephew you could've had. there are so, so many worlds where i was an umbrella, or your friend, or stuck with you in the apocalypse, or... something like that. that's how i know you, and know delores. i was there."

sister, singular?

fuck, why was that his first take-away?

five narrowed his eyes slightly. "you can see every alternate universe," he said, slowly, as if clarifying something to [y/n] when he really needed the clarification for himself.

he nodded. "use them, too."

"use...?"

[y/n] broke into a little smile. his answer remained unknown because their restrained conversation was interrupted by one of [y/n]'s sisters. just one glance and his smile disappeared, staring at five with now-widened eyes, mouthing something along the lines of 'get the fuck out.'

five didn't need to be told twice. a flit of light and he had disappeared to who-the-hell-knows-where.

"who the hell was that creep," jayme mumbled, watching as [y/n] stumbled to his feet and dusted himself off. she grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket out of instinct to make sure he didn't fall over.

"uh... someone pretty interesting," [y/n] said, staring at where he'd once been, the flash of bright light still burned into his eyes. he wanted to find him. maybe needed to find him. probably because something in the world was very wrong, even if no other timeline had figured it out yet.

if any of the umbrellas knew where to hide out, it would probably be klaus, right? simple solution. kind of. as long as he could sneak out undetected by his siblings.

a good bit of time had passed when you finally had the chance to scope out the hotel obsidian. you had changed into something more casual and lowkey, sunglasses now balanced atop your nose and a nice light scarf about your neck. music played over your headphones and you wandered inside of the place, stricken with the sight of heavy art deco. it was rather nice, actually, when you took the time to appreciate it. then again, your mind was rather preoccupied with what was probably a very big deal. on the other side of the lobby, in the little bar and lounge area, you could spot a few of the hargreeves siblings. most notably five, now wearing a white bathrobe. soon his eyes glanced to you and you could feel his gaze sharpen. he looked back at his brothers and excused himself, stepping off the stool and teleporting to you before his feet hit the ground.

"what are you doing here," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"i mean, our conversation got cut off earlier. seemed right to continue it, y'know?"

five looked back at his brothers and then at you once more. klaus was staring after him but you didn't know if he recognized you; luther and diego were still totally enraptured in their chinese food.

the look on five's face told you a whole lot; it was critical to him to talk with you, figure things out, because he guessed—and guessed right—that you weren't just here to politely finish a conversation. something weird was going on, whether he wanted to know or not. "alright. okay. fine. just," he grasped your shoulder after a second and then you were both gone, reappearing instantaneously in a room you assumed to be five's. small cot in the corner, bunk bed opposite, and a couch.

god, you wanted to throw up. you clutched your stomach, squeezing your eyes shut for a minute.

he crossed his arms and looked at you. "so where exactly did we leave off?"

you paused to scrub your mind, trying to recall. a few blinks broke the few seconds of spacing out. usually you weren't this forgetful, but, uh, today was an interesting one. "i said i can use those universes and that confused you. and then jayme came around and i told you to leave."

"right," five muttered. "what exactly did you mean by that?"

"well, obviously i can use them for information." your voice was somewhat soft, actually, which was mighty strange to him.

"hmph. how could i forget." five's flat voice was thick with sarcasm.

you managed a smile. "but i can also use them for skills and stuff. the dodging, earlier; i can't really do that here. there's a world where i star in fighting movies and stuff, where i'm good at dodging and i'm fast and flexible, and i can... link my mind, i guess, and use those skills. and the... the candlestick. knife. thing. i can change things to whatever another me is holding. i can change my clothes. i can change reality."

"so, in essence, your mind is able to find every other instance of you across time and space and access them? and... communicate with them, i suppose, in some way or another."

you shrugged a bit. "about explains it. but the—... can i ask you something?" you suddenly sounded sheepish, hesitant, like you were constantly rethinking what you were about to say. five furrowed his brow, a little surprised to see that look on your face, and he really didn't like it.

"depends on what that something is," he responded, speaking cautiously.

you found yourself spacing out again, but this time not to access some alternate plane of existence. every other universe had its own noise, and every other universe was persistently audible; that loud buzz was starting to give you yet another headache. it was probably possible to overdose on tylenol, right? suddenly that constant look of exhaustion on your face was even more obvious to five. for a moment, he seemed almost sympathetic to that. he could certainly understand it, at the very least. "you've got about twenty-eight years of experience on me," you began, forcing your voice to be steady. "do you have any clue how to deal with the, uhm, existential part of it all?" lightheartedness seemed to be a skill of yours. five could respect it.

you doubted, sincerely doubted, that there could be anything in the world to help you from the persistent noise. or from the pain and exhaustion of swatting from world to world to world in the span of thirty seconds during a fight. it was a wonder you were still walking.

"why should i help you with that, exactly? your family tried to kill mine."

"i didn't try to kill anyone. i hid upstairs the entire time. well, uh, almost the entire time. i can be an ally to you guys. i'd... prefer to be allied with you guys." if anyone else in the world knew about the ins and outs of the umbrella academy, five had no doubt in his mind that it would be you and your presumably-torturous ability. it would probably be a smart idea on their side as well, to ally with you.

"before i agree to help you at all, how can i be sure your family isn't using you as some sort of... puppet? some sort of inside man?"

you shrugged a bit after a second. "i wouldn't be a very good choice."

"seriously? do you think i'm stupid or something?"

you crossed your arms, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "no. i know you aren't stupid. and i'm pretty sure that your first choice wouldn't be a 'weak thirteen-year-old kid with a power that cripples him with headaches and exhaustion whenever he uses it,' either. not to mention that said kid can't hear what's going on sometimes because of literally every other sound in the expansive multiverse." the words were sarcastic but the tone was very genuine, almost excruciatingly so.

"i have... so many more questions now."

you shrugged a bit. "i can answer some of them, i guess." considering that you knew almost all the ins and outs of his life, it seemed only fair to share some of yours. you were too tired to steer the conversation back to why you had came. perhaps you'd already forgotten it.

"why exactly are you thirteen? you were born in 1989, you had to be."

"... i chose to stay this age."

"how can you just choose to stay that age?" exasperation met with confusion in a very strange voice of five's. even after all he'd gone through and learned, you were just springing question marks all over the place. god damnit.

"i can manipulate almost every aspect of reality, five," you said, softly, in response. "it's not out of the realm of possibility to stay thirteen. not for me."

five nodded slightly after a second. that nod steadily turned into a shake of his head. "jesus—i should've grabbed some coffee." he pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. "just give me a second."

"oh. uh, no need." glancing about the room, there was a small corner table, atop it an ice bucket and some plastic cups for water. he watched, for some reason a bit puzzled, as you placed your hands on it. spaced out. and it flitted to a fresh coffee pot and a mug. they seemed like something from a diner.

well, that would make sense, wouldn't it?

you poured him a cup and handed it, still steaming, over to him.

five scowled a bit, staring down at the filled mug, before his sharp gaze landed on you again.

"it's just coffee, five. it's not poisoned or anything. here." you plucked it back out of his grasp and took a sip, waited a few seconds, and handed it back. "see? you're fine."

after a second, he nodded. "right." he didn't find himself bothered by drinking from the same mug you had. he'd done a lot worse things, hadn't he?

"so... what were those other questions?"

after taking a few healthy swigs, he cleared his throat. "your ability—it really taxes you? even after all these years?" five would never admit it, but the coffee was pretty goddamn good. whatever diner your alternate-self worked in was worth a visit, if it existed in this world. "is that why you were shaking and panting so much earlier?"

you felt a bit embarrassed. "yeah," you mumbled. "i trained with it a lot, but, i wasn't very strong to begin with." you sat down carefully on the sofa, pulling a bottle of painkillers from your coat pocket.

"when's the last time you had a dose?" five asked, mug to his lips, shooting you a side-eye.

"... maybe three hours ago. why?"

he clicked his tongue and shook his head, plucking the bottle out of your hands. "not now, then."

"dude! what the hell! i-i need those!"

"well, i can't keep asking questions to someone sick from taking too much tylenol. and you can wait three hours."

you groaned but didn't complain, just settling back against the comfortable cushions. "fine. i'll wait." and you mumbled 'you're just like sloane' under your breath.

"good," he mumbled, sitting down beside you after tossing the pills onto his bed. "you said you could hear every sound in the multiverse. something tells me that isn't a hyperbole."

you nodded a bit and slouched down, trying to figure out a decent analogy. "when you remove a door from its threshold, you can always hear what's on the other side, unless you actively tune it out. just, for me, there were never doors. it was always like this. every single feasible universe is out there, fighting for my attention, almost every waking moment." you recounted with a deep sort of mourning. five couldn't blame you, he supposed. you had been robbed of silence, of pure solitude, of privacy. his heart almost ached for you.

had you been born with the doors off their frames? he wanted to ask, he really wanted to ask, but it was probably going to be way too... private of a thing. personal. from what he could tell.

"and i thought wrangling that crowd of toddlers was bad. i can't imagine hearing everything they do, everywhere, constantly," he mused.

you cracked a smile. it had been a while since you were able to joke around with someone, even if that someone had interrogated you like a police investigator. "oh, it's the worst," you giggled, and he laughed along. "i mean, it's bad enough knowing what your brothers do into their socks, it's even worse to walk in on them over, like, over two thousand times."

"i've known you for a very short period of time, but something tells me that's the worst thing you've ever said."

for someone in a very persistent and terrible bout of pain, your laugh, and your smile, were incredibly bright. five couldn't really say that he was expecting this when first appearing in the umbre—ahem. in the sparrow academy building, but he wasn't exactly complaining. this could be nice. he really hoped it would be, anyway.

silence fell on you two for a while. the overbearing static was starting to edge back in now that you had nothing more to say. the pain was ebbing.

"... something's wrong." you sounded deadly serious, it was horrifying.

"s—sorry?" five felt like he had whiplash after such an extreme diversion from the topic.

you seemed to be fighting that urge to space out a whole lot more. this was important, you needed to stay on track, and yet your stress was doing exactly the opposite of tunnel vision. shit.

five noticed; and he kind of needed you to talk, as fast as possible, so reached out and pinched your neck, successfully getting you to tense and wake up, in some sense of the words. offense was replaced with gratitude in your eyes. "i don't know exactly what. no other universe has figured it out. but you aren't supposed to be here, this isn't your timeline, that's—a very big problem. it could potentially 'rip a hole in space and time.'" five muttered along with you, cussing and hanging his head.

"why didn't you say this first?" he hissed.

"i'm sorry!" you sounded very genuine and he felt rather bad. "i-i—the interrogation and then the pain and then the... getting along with you, i forgot." it was another world, some utterance of 'not normal yet' that brought the thought back to you.

your voice was cracking. you felt far worse than five could ever make you feel.

"... it's fine. it's fine."

"it very much isn't. you know that."

five knew it all too well. he groaned, pinched the bridge of his nose, and downed the rest of his coffee. "fantastic."

"i mean, it may be a problem we can solve." you shot him a smile, a tired and weak little thing, but it did comfort him a bit.

"the universe will really mind if seven dumbasses stick around?" his humor had soured, but it was still there. you felt very guilty, unable to look him in his eyes, shoulders slouched as if defeated in some great thing.

"she's a stickler for rules."

"hmph." he scowled a full-face scowl. "no retirement yet, i guess."

out of all the things you could ever have seen, heard, felt, and known, one thing seemed... important. emotionally, anyway. "if it's, uhm, any consolation... retirement did look good on you, by the way."

he couldn't help but smile a bit. somewhere out there was a world where you and five were friends well into his retirement, be that at his confusing age or his chronological age from 1989, where he was happily retired with no time-threatening anomalous issues to draw him out. even if he was bound to die in this timeline, there was some comfort in knowing many other timelines saw him content. "i'll take your word for it."

[sande5098]

If you don't mind Whould you write me a imagine Fanfic Oneshot of about me and Will Halstead pliss? 🥺🥺❤️❤️

In the Rain

Characters: Fem. Reader x Will Halstead

Requested: Yes, by @zaidatorcuatomorgado I really hope you enjoy this🩷

Prompt: "Dance with me and pretend the world doesn't exist."

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, fluff, just will being an absolute sweetheart ♡🥰

word count: 1.1K

----

You sat at bar swirling what was left of your whiskey, after a long day at home and an even longer day at work you were ready for the weekend. Praying that no disasters caused a last minute call in to work. Currently, you'd had enough of the world and the dried tear tracks showed that, Timothy, your fiancé had just broken up with you well, ex-fiancé, and now, you didn't have it in yourself to go home. Too many raw emotions and memories. And there was no point in crying over a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream tonight, besides if you found someone else whose bed you could get into, even better.

"Hey can I have 2 of what the woman beside me's drinking" You raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything to the red head as he took the bar stool beside you. Frowning a bit when you had another whiskey neat passed towards you. "Thanks" "you looked like you needed it." he replied easily shrugging his shoulders. "Jez, a ‘no problem’ or ‘you're welcome’ would've been fine" rolling your eyes, you finished off the last of your whiskey before moving on to the one the stranger beside you had so kindly bought you.

"Is everything okay? You look like you're going through something." the redhead asked you. You snorted a little, "Who are you, my therapist?" The man chuckled, "Close enough, I'm a doctor." You nodded at that, half expecting the answer to be some form of healthcare professional. "Y/n L/n" you turned and smiled at him. He done the same. "Will Halstead." "It's nice to meet you doctor Halstead" you purred quietly to him, you could see a tinge of red rising to Will's face, It clashed horribly with his hair but at the same time you thought it looked quite cute. Drinking the last of your whiskey, you saw Will's drink go largely untouched. "You not a fan?" Will gave you a tight smile, "No I'm more of a spirits guy myself do you want it?" He relied easily. Without another word you picked up the drink and drank half of the glass.

"Did you just order what I ordered to try to pick me up." Raising an eyebrow with an amused smirk playing on your lips. "Is it working? Because if it is, that's a yes." You felt a hand slide from your middle spine to your lower spine, sitting on the curve, sending a shiver through your body. "Maybe..." Your left hand reached for his thigh. You felt the strong muscles flex beneath your touch. Making you want to shiver but you refused the urge. You could feel the effect of the past three or four shots on your stomach, you knew your head was clouded but at the same time you couldn’t bring yourself to care much. “What do you want to drink?” Will gave you a curious look, “just a vodka and coke.” You nodded and finished the shot of whiskey and asked the bartender for a shot of vodka and a vodka and coke. You were slightly glad for Will’s hand on the small of your back. You knew that you probably would’ve fell off the stool by now otherwise, and you didn’t feel particularly like ending up in the E.R for a cracked open skull.

"You're wondering what's got me drinking so heavily? My fiancé dumped me." You said, shrugging your shoulders, your eyes drifted away from his sorrowful soft expression, you didn't want people to feel sorry for you. Things like this happened to people all the time, it wasn't worth crying over Timothy anymore. "Im sorry to hear that, you must be taking it quite harshly." he motioned to the drink, "Speaking of, how much have you had to drink in the last hour?” Will asked as you suddenly downed the next shot as soon as it was set in front of you. You squeezed your eyes shut at the taste “about 5 ish now" you shrugged, not really caring. He gave you an 'are you serious look, making you giggle. "Come on, I'll take you home" Will handed his card over to the bartender, telling him to close both of your tabs out before helping you stand up.

As soon as you were on both of your feet the world started spinning around you, you could barely put a foot in front of the other without stumbling. At least Will was there to save you from making a fool of yourself by falling flat on your face, for that you were glad. The dizziness got a little better the longer you stood and you could at least walk without stumbling now in a somewhat decent straight line.

"Ugh it's raining, just amazing." you complained, Will smiled down softly at you, "Come on, It's not that bad right?" Looking up at him you had to pull your gaze away as you felt your cheeks get flushed. "Here, take my coat." The red head said as he placed the coat over your shoulders, the heat from it made you shudder and bury the remainder of your body into the coat which drowned you, reaching halfway down your calfs. "Thanks" you mumbled as you could feel your eyes burning, trying to kid yourself into the fact that the rain managed to get into your eyes and that they were just watering was no use, especially when you tried to hide it.

Will looked down at you as you sneakily tried to wipe your eyes, he captured your chin and tilted your head so your e/c eyes and his light brown eyes met. Using his other hand, he wiped away the remaining tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. "Just dance with me and pretend the world doesn't exist." he whispered, upon recognising the slow dance that could be heard from the jukebox within the bar. "In the rain? You'll get a chill without anything to keep you dry." you laughed lightly as more rain dripped onto your face, except this time it was from Will's hair. "Why not?" He took his hands and placed them on your waist, you moved yours to around his neck and he started to move, guiding your steps.

The traffic of the wet Chicago night really just set the right scene for this, the occasional honk of a car horn in the distance, the muffled, yet beautiful melody playing from the jukebox, even the rain played its part as you apologised yet again for stepping on Will's feet again as he just laughed at you.

As the song came to an end, he brought you to his car to give you that ride that he had offered. He even left his number on your kitchen counter for when you woke up the next morning and you couldn't help but smile at the cute post-it note that contained a phone number and a little smiley face with curly hair.

[hamliet]

Never Have I Ever... Been So Grateful For a Show

Well, NHIE finished strong after the fourth season got off to a rocky start. The first three episodes were... messy, honestly, but then the story picked up steam. By the time we got to the final two episodes I was bawling pretty much the full way through.

NHIE also continued to flex its mature understanding of nuance, its appreciation for cultural differences, and its determination to keep its characters flawed and realistic. And including a game of Never Have I Ever in the finale? Fab.

All in all, it's a great ending to a great show. I loved it.

Ben and Devi

I've seen people complaining that the end relationship was predictable, or that Devi should be single, and kindly: no. <3

It fit Devi's character to end up in romantic love with someone, because the entire show has been about love for her. Love for her family, love for those who have died, love for her friends, love for her mentors, and yes, romantic love in all the aspects that entails (physical, intellectual, emotional).

The other thing that I think is beautiful about their relationship is that they both push each other in all these ways--physical (obviously), emotionally (Ben's final realization in New York was chef's kiss), and intellectual. They both get to go to their dream schools in part because of each other. Not only have they been pushing each other to excel since before the show started, but Devi helps Ben finish his schoolwork, and Ben encourages Devi to write that final letter to get into Princeton.

Ben's early acceptance to Columbia, which seemed a given given, well, his father and nepotism (I appreciated the show behind upfront about this), ultimately still almost gets sabotaged by his own repressing of other aspects of his life (which parallels Paxton, Blair Quan, and more, and isn't exactly new--see Ben's physical issues last season). This contrasts him with Devi, whose self-sabotage is always doing too much too suddenly. She's been trying so hard all along, but sometimes you need a final cheer to push you over the finish line.

Ben and Devi, Ethan and Margot

Ethan is dark!Ben. Margot is dark!Devi. On paper it's great.

Except... Margot was really, really annoying. I'm sorry, I found nothing remotely redeeming about her. Ethan at least served a purpose. The reason I think the first three episodes are so rough is that they focus on Margot but seem to not know what to do with her. But more about that later on.

Ben's speech about why he chooses to be with Margot in the first episode is well done and shows how much growth he still has to do. Because an essential part of love--of a mature kind of love and relationship--is that you are challenged to become a better version of yourself. Ben and Trent, in episode 2, shy away from this. Trent breaks up with Eleanor because he's afraid she'll break up with him, and he wants to do it first. Ben stays with Margot because she offers him superficial challenges, but nothing substantial in terms of his flaws.

That said, Devi making peace with Margot (numerous times) was narratively necessary because, of course, Margot's kind of a literary shadow (just not really well done). It also showed how much Devi's grown.

Trent + Eleanor

Trent's character is also really well done. That's how you deepen a comedic character. (Ethan was also dark!Trent in some ways; hence, Eleanor's crush on him.) Yeah, Trent's a stoner and not so bright. But, he loves Eleanor. He adores her, and he wholeheartedly believes in her. It's heartwarming to see.

I wasn't surprised they broke up early on, but was relieved they got back together. I think it was a funny inversion of what you'd expect, because El moving on to bigger and better things seemed like a natural progression. Yet, as the scene with El's mom showed... that's not what bigger and better is for Eleanor.

Yes, Eleanor still wants to grow. Yes, she still wants to be an actress and a director, and she's good at it.

But she doesn't want to leave her family and loved ones behind.

Eleanor knows what it's like to be left behind. And obviously it's not the same to leave a teenage boyfriend as to leave your own child like her mom. But, Eleanor ending up back with Trent was, frankly, narratively perfect for both their characters. Because Trent was helping her in her growth, and always had been from Season 3.

I also think they handled Eleanor's dreams and her complicated mother relationship well. The dream itself, even if it is far-fetched, even if it is unlikely to happen, is not bad. Pursuing it also is, in fact, positive (they paralleled this with Devi's dreams of Princeton). But, one of the best parts of dreams? Is the people you meet along the way, the people who cheer you on. It's a metaphor for life.

Paxton (and Lindsay)

Paxton's arc I think is one of the best in the series. I loved his journey from boy who was considered "hot guy" who sucked at school to the point where it was comic becoming a teacher. The episode where he helped Eric join the swim team was actually really powerful.

And, I didn't even roll my eyes when Devi told him he was an even better friend than boyfriend. On paper it's a cliche line, but it totally works within the characters' arcs (and of course the actors' portrayals!). Lindsay also seemed like much more than just a consolation prize to the guy who ends up outside the triangle--their relationship paralleled his with Devi, and quickly got me invested.

His final advice to Devi: "don't reinvent anything" also fits really well, because when Paxton at first refused to be Devi's boyfriend it was because Devi's image wasn't acceptable after the two-timing thing. Then, Devi's anxiety during their public relationship, the anxiety that actually ruined their romance, was because she didn't think she fit with Paxton or "made any sense" with him. But, she does fit with him. As a friend, and as herself.

Blair Quan + College

Blair Quan was also dark!Paxton--someone who lost themselves because they were always the Best in high school. The best student, the most popular. And then at college, everyone was the Best. And suddenly you're nothing.

The situation with Blair Quan was really realistic for how college can be for people, and in how the show (admittedly briefly) addressed the fundamental unfairness of college admissions. I work in higher ed, and... it's not fair. Nothing about it is fair. Professor Warner telling Devi outright that she "should have" gotten into all the Ivies actually meant a lot to me, because it's true.

For any readers of this who are applying to schools, there's a degree to which your merit matters, and there's a degree to which it's up to sheer luck. If they reject you, it's almost certainly not because you're not on par with other applicants. Hard work does not get you into prestigious schools. That's a lie. It gets you to a point, but it also gets a lot of other people to that same point, and then there is nothing at all you can do. It's up to luck.

Fab (and Addison. Kind of).

Fab's arc was interesting, but I feel like it peaked in season 2. I did like her conflict this season though, particularly with messing up about lying to Devi. The scene where she and Devi reconcile was beautiful, and the show handled it really well--giving empathy for Fab as for why she kept it a secret, while also pointing out that the lying was the fact greater problem than the initial applying.

The negative is that... I like Addison, but I wanted more. It kind of sucks that the queer character is the one whose romance doesn't come with two complex characters getting development. And sure, Fab isn't as important as Devi, Ben, or Paxton, but the fact that they wrote a compelling romance between Trent and Eleanor and gave Trent some damn deep character development despite him being a comedic character shows they were more than capable of writing a complex character romance for Fab. Addison is really just... kinda there, and we get no development for them at all.  Which sucks because I would like to have learned more about them! They had potential, especially as a parallel to Trent!

Nalini and Andres

Nalini and Andres were a little more out of left field... that said, Nalini clearly has a type! She likes guys whom she argues with first. I still preferred the hot doctor from Season 2, but that had less to do with Andres and more to do with the fact that I found Margot so irredeemably annoying. Still, I appreciated Andres' growth in realizing that he'd been spoiling Margot by catering to her every whim. This was itself a nice contrast to Nalini, who hurts Devi by being too hard on her.

That was especially a flaw in the early seasons, but Season 4 really showed how much Nalini has grown. She does mess up with her response to the college debacle, so her flaws are still there, but she's so much better than in Season 1. For example, Devi lashing out at her mom after she got deferred was irrational; Nalini really didn't deserve any of that, and yet Nalini still met Devi where she was at: with a chip salad, addressing her fears. It was heartwarming.

Even when Nalini then does mess up with the "stupid" comment, we know she didn't mean it in the same way Devi fears she did (that that's all she can be, rather than that yes, Devi did a dumb thing). When she comes to help Devi pack, it's genuinely heartwarming. I honestly think Nalini and Devi's relationship is one of the best in the show, if not the beating heart at the center of it.

Pati and Len

Now, Pati. Pati and Lens' relationship parallels Kamala's romantic drama--not just with Manish in Season 3, but also with Steve in Season 1. Pati is also very clearly where Devi gets her drama from, and I stan.

I also liked the parallels between Len and Pati and Ben and Devi. They are both Indian-Jewish couples, and Pati and Len's wedding of course marks a grand romance for them... and a grand romantic gesture for Ben, who arrives to tell Devi he loves her.

Kamala (and Manish)

Kamala's arc this season was good as well; I just wish we had seen more Manish than just in the finale. Still, at least Manish did have an arc in the previous season. Though, it was a nice twist to have Kamala's arc be not about romance, but about her career.

Where Art Thou?

I also missed some other side characters, like Rebecca Hall-Yoshida and Jonah.

Margot & Aneesa

The overall show was filled with callbacks to past seasons that were really well utilized, in that they showed the character's growth. Unfortunately, in one instance, this came back for the worse when they repeated one of their biggest writing mistakes from Season 2.

Devi is, simply put, absolutely not morally responsible for reporting Margot to have lied about her alibi for vandalism. Yeah, Margot ultimately didn't do it--but Devi didn't do anything wrong by reporting that. In fact, the principal should have actually done her job and checked the alibi with the teacher; it's like 101 common sense.

Clearly this is a callback to Aneesa (the episode even has Devi reclaiming the nickname "crazy Devi," which started there). However, the shame is that the writers didn't learn from how they bungled the Aneesa plotline, and they did. Here again they hold Devi responsible for something she frankly is not morally in the wrong for. The show also mentions the Aneesa incident and calls Devi "a liar and a bully" for it, but she objectively didn't lie? And frankly Aneesa bullied Devi more than Devi bullied her and was never called out for it.

While I think it's a flaw, it COULD theoretically work from a psychoanalytic theory in that really all that Devi can control is herself. She can't force others to do what she wants, even if it's unfair. And that's part of maturing is realizing that (and it's not the same thing as selfish focus). You can't control the world, even when it's unfair and even when other people are frankly wrong.

I did like more or less how Margot was resolved in the end; namely, that she was not there among Devi's friends at the end. I also liked that Aneesa did defend Devi in the final episode from someone mocking her about the Clean Sweep. It just would've matter more if Aneesa's actions had ever been addressed.

The Principal + Professor Warner

Also, while in general the show is great in its portrayal of teachers and satire of other teachers, the principal sucks and she's not actually funny. She acts like another teenager, but unlike some of the other teachers/adults who are framed well, she's framed as being more or less fine instead of with the critical lens of the others. And she isn't.

Professor Warner stands in stark contrast, because she is wise even though flawed. The principal is just... awful. I'd never liked her, but this season made me hate her.

The Therapist + Grief

Now that I've gotten my salt out of the way, let's end with a positive and a theme.

The therapist's final session with Devi in the penultimate episode--I bawled.

“When I first met you, you were a closed-off, angry little thing... But look at you. Look how far you’ve come. You faced your trauma, and you came out on the other side.” 

They used this to emphasize the show's main theme: grief. Despite how this quote makes it sound, the show doesn't actually frame grief as something to move on from. Instead, it's something that accompanies you.

Grief is like chasing a dream. Grief is part of life. It is love itself, but a painful part of it, and grief never, ever stops. You never "get over" someone's loss. You never stop loving them.

But, you learn to see them around you, and in you. In the dreams you planted together, like Devi's dad telling her about Princeton. In the loved ones you shared, like how Devi yells at her imagination of her father that he's not here, but then Nalini arrives to help her pack.

Just because someone's gone doesn't mean they stop influencing you, or stop being a part of your life.

There will always be moments of pain, like Devi in the final episode with the imagination of her dad. But, there will also be moments of feeling them again.

[angstylittleguy]

The Elevator pt. 2

Part 2 of the first meeting between Rory and Bennett. (Part 1 found Here.) With Bennett now aware of Rory's abilities, he seeks her help to end the time loop he's found himself stuck in.

tw: implied death (doesn't happen)

character context: Bennett frequently gets stuck in time loops and the only way to get the loop to end is for him to survive the day. Rory is a mind reader that is unable to control her ability. The voices in her head are constant and the emotions of the people around her are often inflicted onto her.

word count: 2k

-> In Which Everything Goes Wonderfully Wrong masterpost link: Here

-> character introductions and moodboards: Here

Bennett awoke with a gasp. His hands clenched the sheets of his bed as his mind reeled with the new information. He had to find Rory.

He glanced at the time: 7:30 a.m. Bennett grabbed the sharpie he kept on the nightstand, added a tally to his growing collection on his arm, and leapt out of bed. He didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas, just grabbed a pair of socks, turned them inside out, and threw on his shoes. 

His roommate began to stir at the ruckus he was making. “Can’t you do anything quietly?” Josiah groaned, rolling over in his twin-sized bed. 

“No, sorry,” Bennett answered, picking up his skateboard that was propped up by the door. 

“Figures. See you later, man.”

Bennett threw open the door and yelled from the hallway, “Bye, Jo!”

He found Rory walking to class at exactly 7:48. She had her headphones over her ears and her eyes were trained forwards. Bennett swiped his foot on the ground to gain speed on his skateboard. 

Rory turned around when she heard him coming—like she did every time they crossed paths during these thirty days—only this time, Bennett stopped next to her. He kicked his board up into his hands.

She looked up at him perplexed. “Can I help you?”

“I know you can read minds,” he blurted. 

She took off her headphones and raised a brow.

“I’m stuck in a time loop.” He told her. “My name is Bennett. My socks are inside out. That static feeling you’re getting on your neck; we think it’s because of me. Something to do with your abilities.”

“I—What are you talking about? Who are you?”

“My name is Bennett,” he repeated. “And I need you to help me. The day keeps repeating over and over again, and that’s how I found out about your abilities. We got stuck in the elevator together yesterday.”

Rory was looking at him as if he had grown three heads. 

“Well, not your yesterday, but my yesterday.” Bennett was talking with his hands, obviously flustered.

“And I know it’s hard to believe,” he continued when she didn’t say anything. “But when I told you yesterday—you don’t remember this because of the time loop—you believed me. And you’re really my last option.”

She just shook her head as if she were trying to comprehend everything he was saying. “Okay,” she finally said after a while. “I believe you. But listen, Ben. I—”

“Bennett.”

“Listen, Bennett. I’ve got a psych exam that I’ve been preparing for in about ten minutes, and I really can’t miss it. If you want to meet up after, we—”

“Rory, please. I can’t keep doing this. I really need your help.”

She seemed to blanche at his sudden shift in tone. “Chill, I told you I’d help. After my exam.”

He grabbed her by the hands then. Begging for her to listen. “Rory, I’m not going to survive the day without your help. It keeps repeating because I die before the end of the day. It will only ever stop repeating when I manage to survive.” 

Memories of the past month fronted in his mind. Freak accidents, desperate attempts to right a wrong gone awry, and blatant examples of giving up. Before he could even think of something else to say to Rory, he noticed that she was crying. 

A side effect of the mind reading, maybe. Bennett suddenly felt self-conscious. Had she been able to see all of that just now?

Rory wiped her eyes, as if she had just realized herself that tears were falling down her cheeks.

“So, what?” She asked, still wiping at her eyes. “It’s just the universe’s way of saying screw you?”

Bennett couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Why does it want you dead so badly?”

Her question caught him off guard. “I’m… I don’t know.”

Bennett had asked himself why me? ever since he discovered his stupid ability. None of it made any sense, and he never had any control of it. He was just learning to survive one loop until he inevitably found himself caught in another one. He was like an animal: too senseless to realize he was walking into the next trap. 

“What do we do first?” Rory asked him. “If I’m skipping my exam for you, we’re going to make it count.”

Bennett was so relieved that she had agreed to help her, that he couldn’t stop himself from pulling her into a hug. She was stiff in his arms but he didn’t care. This nightmare was finally going to end. 

He felt her awkwardly pat his back. “Okay, buddy. Don’t celebrate just yet. Save it for after we get you out of this mess.”

Bennett explained to her what would happen with the elevator. It would ride once to the second floor. The next time it moved, it was going to get stuck between the third and fourth floor. 

“Okay, so we’ll just guard the doors and stop anyone from getting in,” Rory said as they walked towards the building. “If it goes the same way it did yesterday, the elevator is going to come down to the first floor, stop at the second, and then head to the fourth. I’ll watch the first floor and you watch the second.”

Bennett shook his head. “There are four floors and only two of us. I’ve tried this already; someone is going to slip past us and get in.”

“How much do you know already? Like, could you tell who is going to be the one to get in?”

He rolled up one of his arm sleeves, revealing a mess of sloppily written notes on his skin in black sharpie marker. “One thing I found out about the loops, is that if I write something on my skin, it doesn’t go away when time resets,” Bennett explained, glancing over his notes. “Don’t ask me how that works because I have no idea.”

Bennett showed Rory his arm. “It’s hard to write down because the outcomes change depending on who I interact with. For example, you’re usually the first person to use the elevator—at least what I’ve seen—but if you don’t get in then there’s a guy on the fourth floor who has to call the elevator up to him. If he doesn’t get in, then a girl is going to take the elevator from the third floor to the first, but then three guys are going to get in from the first floor up to the fourth and they’re the ones who are going to get stuck.”

He lifted up his shirt to show more frantic sharpie writing on his stomach. It was written upside down as if Bennett had written it while laying down. As he continued to explain the timeline of who takes the elevator today, Rory zoned out. He hadn’t even noticed she was no longer listening.

“Let’s break it.”

Bennett stopped mid-explanation to look at her with furrowed brows. “Say what now?”

“Let’s break the elevator before it’s supposed to break,” Rory repeated. “We can like, take a baseball bat to the buttons or something.”

“That’s a horrible idea.”

“Do you have a better one?”

Bennett scratched at his head, looking down at their shoes. He took note of the purple hair dye staining Rory’s black high-tops and the hole in his plaid pajama pants near his ankle that he hadn’t noticed before. Rory rolled her eyes at how easily distracted he seemed when his life was literally on the line. Though, technically, it wasn’t if he would just wake up at the beginning of the day again. 

“If the day doesn’t repeat, there’s no way we won’t get expelled for destruction of property. I mean, come on, it’s going to get interpreted as some kind of protest to encourage people to take the stairs or something stupid like that,” Bennett responded.

He had a point. Neither of them could really afford to get kicked out of this school. She hummed.

“What time is it?”

Rory checked her phone. “8:03.”

“Brandon’s going to take the elevator from the fourth floor down to the first in a few minutes,” Bennett said. “And he’s got a broken ankle, so I’m going to sound like such a dick when I tell him he has to use the stairs.”

Rory then snapped her fingers. “Let’s cut the power.” 

“To the elevator?”

“To the building.”

Bennett perked up. “If we don’t get caught, that could work. It’s going to suck for Brandon because he’s still going to have to take the stairs, though.”

Rory shrugged. “He’d thank us if he knew.”

It was an old building, and they were both lucky that there were no cameras in the basement. The fuse box was hidden behind a couple shelves used for various storage. “Do you know how to cut the power?” Bennett asked her.

“I was just gonna google it.”

He leaned over her shoulder to watch her scroll on her phone. “They have a wikiHow for everything these days.”

“This site teaches me how to commit so many criminal activities, I swear.”

Rory broke the plastic and wire seal that secured the latch on the meter box cover. She removed it and handed it to Bennett for him to hold as she wiggled the meter free from the box. The lights immediately went out. 

“Honestly, I’m surprised that worked,” Bennett said. He put the cover on the ground.

“Me too. Next time you’re stuck in a loop, come find me and we can rob a bank or something, just to see if we can.”

“Rob a bank?” He parroted, incredulous.

“Yeah, there’s a wikiHow on it and everything.”

Bennett felt around blindly as he searched for the door. “I’m sure mind reading would be handy in a bank robbery.” He grabbed Rory’s hand and helped lead her to their exit. 

“So would your Groundhog Day ability—”

“Don’t call it that.”

“—we’d get unlimited attempts until we get away with it.”

Rory and Bennett snuck down the hallway, not bothering to return to the main entrance of the building, and instead leaving out a side door.

Bennett would be lying if he said he wasn’t still nervous about what was going to happen now. The elevator was no longer usable, but would they fix it? Or would they just turn it back on and deem it safe?

“Maintenance should look at it,” Rory told him, knowing what he was thinking. “They’ll see it’s out of date and then they’ll do their thing.”

“I hope you’re right.”

They stand outside the university building in the humid air, watching as students and professors ever so slowly emerged from the doors. Rory hummed. “Wanna go somewhere while we wait to see if it worked?”

“For real?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ve got nothing else to do since I missed my exam.”

As the pair walked to the campus coffee shop, Rory’s phone dinged with an alert. “Holy shit,” she muttered while reading the email she just received. “The exam I missed got rescheduled for Thursday because of the power outage.”

Bennett held out his hand for a fist bump. 

[fishyyyyy99]

Hello! Do you have a top 5 moments for benvi?

Hi! This is a difficult question, and I'm not sure I have an unchanging answer. But I'll try to answer based on what I currently think. Also, I'm sorry - I've chosen 7 moments instead of 5 (narrowing it down that much was hard enough).

1. I have two moments that are tied for first position. These are also probably my two favourite Never Have I Ever moments, not just my two favourite Benvi moments:

1. 3 x 10

When Ben finally tells Devi how much he'll miss her, and Devi is surprised by how she suddenly feels knots in her stomach - it's a chef's kiss moment. It made me incredibly emotional. There was something so triumphant (it's an important character development moment for Devi plus my Benvi shipping heart was happy) , yet subtle and real about that moment. The song that plays during that scene - Car Keys by Jaguar Sun will forever represent to me, the quiet realisation that someone is your person.

4 x 04

I love, love how Devi finds Ben near the lockers, and rescues him by giving him her shirt. First of all, it's Devi doing something super meaningful for Ben after so long. I also like that despite not being on talking terms, she still understands him really well and cares for him. I also like that the trope of the girl wearing the guy's shirt gets reversed, and she gives him the shirt that she's wearing, instead. Their eye contact is SO intense, and I really like how he shakes his head as if to clear it because just looking at her puts him under a spell. And then, there's their banter, and his tiny smile even though they're not friends at that point. I also like how she understands what he wants to say before he says it out loud, and accepts it. I just love their repressed longing in this scene!

2. 4 x 05

It was so beautiful to see Ben and Devi act so maturely in this scene and know exactly how to comfort each other. I also liked that their conflict got resolved without much drama in this scene, and that they went back to being best friends. I loved Devi's smile - she was so happy that she had helped Ben feel "oddly inspired".

3. 3 x 02

I actually really like the scene in which Aneesa sees Ben and Devi just having fun, because to me, it captures the essence of Benvi - they're best friends first, and lovers next. It shows just how much they enjoy spending time together. I also really like the scene in which Ben is texting Devi during Aneesa's game, their scenes in 1 x 05 and 1 x 06, their scenes in 3 x 05, and the scene in 3 x 09 after Devi apologises to him. TBH, Benvi as a whole is an enemies to lovers arc, but in season 3 specifically, it was a best friends to lovers arc, in my opinion. And this scene in 3 x 02 shows very clearly from an outsider's perspective just how they seem to have a world of their own. TBH, I think all of their other friendship moments together, form rank number 3 on this list (I think they're the reason the scene in 3 x 10 was so meaningful to me). But I'm choosing 3 x 02 to represent their friendship, because it shows someone within the show recognising how Ben and Devi have fun together.

4. There are three scenes here at position number 5.

1 x 10

Devi realises that Ben waited for her, and then she kisses him. I love how he kisses her back, then pulls back to see if this is really happening before leaning in for a much deeper and longer kiss. This is undoubtedly my favourite kissing scene on the show. What a perfect end to a great first season.

3 x 10

Devi deciding to have sex on her own terms, and not out of peer pressure is also a great character development moment for her. I really liked how she surprised herself like Dr. Ryan said she might. And this was such a satisfying and triumphant end to season 3. The use of the "boink card" was such a cute way to execute this.

4 x 10

The very, very last Benvi moment during which we see them hanging out together at Princeton. This moment just felt so very real to me. I'd say it was the realest moment in the series for me. Something about it felt so natural, and they looked like a real couple. I almost forgot that I was watching a TV show.

[mountttmase]

Hi, I'm emotional 🥺 they are going to be missed

Not a word had been exchanged between you and Mason since that night he left you in bed. Not a call or a text. Nothing. No sign of life from him at all and the longer it went on the more your heart broke. THIS HURT A LOT

‘Fine’ she laughed. ‘We were hoping to make it a pizza making party, like do something a little different? Bens just got the new oven installed and wants to try it out’ she explained. I WANT TO GO TOO

‘Oh the usuals, Dec, Lauren, Woody, Kayla’ she listed off and the omission of a certain someone’s name made you relax. ‘Bens also got a friend from home here and possibly a couple of the Chelsea boys might come. Oh and Mason too, he’s free that weekend’ OPS

It was all still there, the pretty flowers and little cakes, the heart with gwens face in but what really made you melt was the detail on the bottom you missed. His initials, MM, in a little heart and you had to bite your bottom lip to hold your emotions in. THIS KILLED ME

You managed to hold it together but as the days became closer to seeing him you could feel yourself freaking out. You decided to throw yourself into work and the night before you distracted yourself by making all the dough for the next day. Making way more than you needed to but it seemed to be your coping mechanism for the night so you didn’t think about looking back into his brown eyes again. THATS ME

WE DONT LIKE TAHT GIRL

You heard his voice before you turned to give him a once over and you hated the way your tummy sunk at the sight of him. The last time you’d seen him he was abandoning you in your bed as he made it clear you were nothing more than someone he wanted to fuck for the week. Now he was just Mason again and you weren’t sure you’d be able to differentiate between the two. OH MY LITTLE GIRL

Him wrapping his arms around her waist as she buried her face his neck and you had to turn away before you burst into tears. MASON....

‘Ladies, how are we?’ Mason smirked, leaning over to give Carly a quick kiss on the cheek before looking down at you. ‘You alright?’ HE IS ACTING LIKE THE FUNNY ONE

‘You too’ you whispered. Not sure how good it was to see him right now and his standoffishness was making your heart shatter. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER

You could see Mason out of the corner of your eye, standing with Kenny as they chatted just the two of them and you wondered why he never came to join you until Carly called you into the kitchen and they finally joined everyone else. Realising you must have been the reason he didn't want to sit with everyone and you felt your eyes sting. I'M HATING HIM

‘Sorry we haven’t spoken much lately, I’ve just had a lot on’ he told you quietly and you knew it was the worst excuse in the world from him. The way he didn’t care enough to be honest with you made you feel sick and you had no idea how to respond YEAH....OF COURSE MOUNT

‘Mase?’ Ben suddenly called, head popping into the kitchen and his eyes lit up at the sight of him. ‘Ahh there you are. We’re playing Pictionary and Kenny needs a partner. You coming?’ BEN 😒

‘Well yours looks way better than mine’ he huffed and you sent him a small smile. ‘Are we okay?’ He asked carefully, his voice small and scared almost and when you finally made eye contact with him you saw how sad he looked. NO MASON YOU'RE NOT OK

You were being miserable and you knew you were and you knew you had to snap out of it. You were the one who caught feelings, clearly he hadn’t so this was a you issue and if you didn’t fix up you were risking ruining the whole friendship group. OH NO HE HAS TOO, HE IS JIST STUPID

You felt lighter as you made your way back in, stopping in the kitchen to cut your pizza up and as if by magic Mason appeared. Walking over to the fridge to grab a drink before standing opposite you. HE IS FOLLOWING HER MOVEMENTS 😂

‘Oh yeah? What do you think’ you asked, showing it to him proudly with a wide smile and your sudden change of demeanour had him looking at you bewildered but he soon mirrored your expression and smiled back at you widely. THEY ARE TEO BIPOLAR PEOPLE, THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER

‘Please? I’ll never finish it all. I want you to have some’ you told him, placing your hand on his arm and his eyes flashed to where you were touching him before looking at you with a soft smile. SHE IS ACTING TO CUTE

You ignored it though until you couldn’t, watching them discuss the pizza on his plate before she picked up the slice you’d given him from yours and take a massive bite from it. WE DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

‘I don’t wanna cause a fuss, I’ll just go it’s fine’ you told her with a weak smile. ‘It’s been a long day and I just don’t feel great’ OH BABY

‘Oh Mason didn't tell you?’ She asked, brows raising in shock like she couldn’t believe you didn’t know but you could tell she was about to take some satisfaction in filling you in. ‘I was meant to go with him originally but like a week before I had a really important job come up and I had to back out. I told Mason to find someone else to take and he mentioned you guys were friends. You know what Masons like he probably didn’t want to say anything and upset you’ FUCK OFF KENNY, THANK YOU

You could barely focus as you drove home. Feeling even more used now that you knew you were his back up. Probably only sleeping with you as you were all he had to choose from and you felt even dirtier than before. OMG IM SAD

‘Mason, what do you want?’ You asked with furrowed brows and you knew you looked pissed from the way he was looking back at you. THERE HE IS

‘Where’s Kenny’ you questioned, eyebrow raised but he looked even more confused at this. I LOVE HER

‘Are you gonna tell me what’s really wrong? Cause you look fine’ he told you and you felt your anger rise up in your throat. TRY TO UNDERSTAND ALONE

‘Well it has. Look I know things have been a little weird since Portugal but I’m only here for a few days and I…’ WEIRD....

‘I miss you’ he whispered. You heart breaking at the sound of his voice but you knew you had to stay firm. ‘Things aren’t the same as they used to be. What happened to the contract? Friendship comes first and all that shit? You can barely look at me now’ he told you, unable to hide the hurt in his voice but you were too upset to let it affect you. ‘Last time we spoke at Ben's things seemed better and now you’ve gone all cold again’ YEAH, CAUSE KENNY DECIDED TO RUIN IT

‘Cause I fucking like you, you idiot!’ you suddenly exploded, silencing him immediately as he stared at you in shock and you knew you needed to take it down a peg. ‘I like you’ you told him, your voice sounding vulnerable and small as your eyes fell to the floor. ‘I know about the contract and I remember the rules but I like you. And I’ve been trying to make it stop but I can’t and then you shared my pizza that I gave you with some random girl I’ve never seen before right in front of me’ SHE FINALLY SAID IT🥺

‘It’s just pizza, Muffin’ he said quietly, trying to hide the smile on his face but you saw it clear as day. NOT MUFFIN NOW MASON

‘A friend of Bens from back home. I didn’t meet her that long ago but he introduced us cause she lives in Manchester now’ he explained and you hated the fact she lived so close to him. WE DONT LIKE THE FACT THAT SHE LIVES IN MANCHESTER

‘First of all, that’s bullshit. It was always meant for you and I’ve got the texts to prove it’ he told you, reaching for his phone to prove his point but you felt a little silly now. GOOD MOUNT GIVE ME THE TEXT

‘Muffin, who are we trying to kid?’ He asked you softly, your eyes on his face immediately and the soft look on his face made your knees weak. OMG OK

‘When you said you liked me, did you mean it?’ He questioned, wanting an answer but you weren’t ready to speak so you just nodded, hoping that would be enough for him. ‘Well, I like you too. A lot in fact, more than I ever intended to. And I know it’s against the rules but fuck all that’ he laughed. ‘Why are we fighting so hard against what we want?’ WOOOOOO

‘I didn’t say any of that stuff cause I believed it’ he sighed. ‘You don’t know how many times that night I came back to your door ready to knock it down and tell you how I was feeling. Why do you think I left that night like I was going out of my mind and I was crying like a baby’ he laughed but your heart broke at the sound of his confession. ‘I was so caught up in you and then reality hit that I probably can’t give you what you want. What you deserve’ THIS HONESTLY KILLED ME

‘You’re this big scary boss lady who’s got so much going for her, you know? Like you’ve got your whole little empire and that’s your world. I thought being with me would be too much for you or something. I’m so far away now and I can’t give you the time you deserve. Maybe I’m not making that much sense’ MISS INDEPENDENCE

‘What if I want you in the way?’ You asked and he looked up at you hopefully. SHE WANTS HIM ON TGE WAY

‘You did’ you laughed, nodding your head as you moved your hands to his shoulders. ‘But you said everyone’s got time, you just have to make it. And you Mason, I’d be more than willing to make time for you’ SCREAMINGGGG

‘I know, I was trying to run away I think. I knew I pushed it too far that night before and we broke all the rules but I was past the point of caring. All I wanted was to wake up next to you that morning, kiss you and tell you how I really felt. But you’d gone and then I saw you in the pool with Chilly and it drove me mad’ SILLY BOY

HHEHEHEHHEHE THE GIRL HE SPOKE TO WAS DRUNK SO NO DRAMA GUYSSSS

‘You don’t have to thank me, all I care about is you being okay and I get it didn’t seem like that sometimes’ he sighed. ‘That whole day I knew it was gonna be my last with you and I was miserable. Didn’t wanna do anything or speak to anyone, like once I was over my strop that morning I just wanted to hold you cause I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to the next day. I was terrified of talking to you about anything cause I knew I’d get upset so I just didn’t and then when we went out I thought if I wasn’t around you then I could push it all down and move on and maybe by the time we saw each other again it’d be alright but as soon as I saw you earlier I knew I’d messed up. I don't think I can be just friends with you now Muffin, it’s not gonna work. Not when I know I want so much more from you’ IM SO EMOTIONAL

THE LITTLE KISS/LIPS BRUSHINGGGG

‘You gonna let me be your muffin man, then?’ He joked, referencing the fact he always asked if you had found your Mr. Muffin but little did he know he’d been your muffin man all along. PF YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN

‘Well I realised pretty quickly you’d gone but I didn’t know what to do so I waited until Woody asked and when Carly said you didn’t feel well I knew something was off’ he shrugged. ‘You were fine before we ate so I went into another room to try and call you but Dec found me before I got a chance and when I told him what I was doing he gave me a bit of a talking to’ he gulped, his face going as red as you’d ever seen it and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear anymore. ‘Don’t be upset with him but he told me about when you spoke after I’d left. I don't think he told me everything but I got the main parts and I felt like such a knob. He told me he’d bang our heads together if I didn’t come over and make things right so I left and I guess he thinks if we’ve worked it out then it’s all down to him’ OHHHHHH🥺

‘Of course, had me hooked since that first chocolate muffin’ he confessed. ‘I like you a lot and I didn’t want you to think I’m like what everyone else sees me as. I love having you in my life and I love having you as a friend but lately I couldn’t help but see you as more’ he told you truthfully. ‘And then you showed up at my birthday looking hot as hell like you’re enough to drive anyone insane’ he teased and his words made you giggle as you tried to hide your face in your hands. I'M NO MORE MAD AT HIMMMM, I LOVE HIM AGAINNNN

‘We can still be friends’ he told you softly. Kissing your cheek gently before smiling down at you. ‘Well just be extra special friends who kiss and get to see each other naked’ he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Plus now you're my girl you get a prime face time slot’ YAYYYYY FACE TIME SLOT FINALLYTT

‘Of course not, but just like my best friend figured it out I think yours has too. Probably knew before we knew ourselves. Remember when we were at the airport and you made your big entrance?’ He teased, making you hide your face in embarrassment but he was quick to pull your hands apart. ‘She came over to speak to me, mainly just to say thank you for the surprise but she asked me if something was going on between us as she knew you always keep your cards close to your chest’ I'M GIGGLING

‘Of course, I don’t wanna go back there without you’ he whispered and you knew you didn’t want to leave him either. ‘I promise I’ll get you room service in the morning’ he laughed, trying to convince you further but you were already wanting to free yourself from his grip so you could grab your things. SCREAMINGGGG

‘Thank you, Muffin. I’ve honestly been miserable without you and I’m really glad we get to start again’ he told you truthfully. Your eyes stinging as you nodded back at him softly before he kissed your forehead. ‘We’ll do it the right way this time, yeah? No more secrets or ground rules or whatever else. We’ll just be honest with each other about our feelings and we’ll go from there okay?’ OH YESSSS

THE PICS HARD LAUNCH🤭🤭🤭

BESTIE

OMG CANT BELIEVE WE ARE ALREADY AT THE END OF THIS? IT FEELS LIKE YOU POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER YESTERDAY🥺

I LOVED ALL OF THIS

THE WAY THEIR RELATIONSHIP SLOWLY GROW AND HOW THEY SLOWLY STARTED TO SHOW THEIR FEELINGS

HOW THEY ARE EACH OTHER MUFFIN🥺

ALL THE SMUT YOU GAVE US, IT WAS PERFECT AND EXPECIALLY PUT IN THE PERFECT MOMENT. LIKE THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER SMUT? PERFECTLY CHOSEN😌

I LOVED HOW IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS KUST THEM DIRING THE HOLIDAY CAUSE THEY WERE ON THEIR OWN WORLD AND THEY WERE ENJOYING ALL THE TIME THEY HAD TOGETHER

THE ANGST?? PERFECTION. HOW BAD HE TREATED HER BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE EXPLANATION HE GAVE HER ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOUR

HIS FEARS ABOUT NOT BEING THE ONE WHO SHE DESERVED BY HER SIDE?🥺

WOW, JUST WOW

IVE ALREADY THANKED YOU IN PRIVATE BUT DOING THIS HERE TOO

IT WAS A PLEASURE READING THIS WORK OF ART AND GETTING CLOSE TO THESE TWO PEOPLE YOU CREATED

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR SPENDING TIME ON WRITING THIS AND DECIDING TO SHARE IT WITH US🩷🩷🩷 CANT WAIT FOR NEW ADVENTURES AND WORLDS🩷

YOU ARE THE CUTEST

I love reading back through your feedback like it really makes my day so thank you 🥺 and thank you so much for all your help and the the excitement I get from you about every fic you make it all worth it 😘😘 love you bestie 🩷

[theskyexists]

Went to see across the spiderverse

In retrospect, a film about parents dying and preventing it from happening was..

Anyway.

It was incredible animation of course again. The first part was honestly AMAZING. With Gwen. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful. And her dad????? The EMOTION. And also, wtf. But think they wrapped it up too quickly actually.he HUNTED her and then tried to arrest her (stupid cop!) when she saved people and even when she showed him who she was!!! And she left him for it - rightfully she said: I guess there is no one for me here now. And he didn't apologise. He didn't say: I was wrong. I'm sorry. I was worried sick. I'm your dad first and a cop second - a cop no more. GWEN!!!

Really interesting that the first film already had the theme: being Spiderman means experiencing certain fundamental things. And the point of being Spiderman is getting up again. (Nvm the weird thing about everybody can be Spiderman....uh..I always thought that was weird in that first film. Bc the whole point was that no you cant it takes a certain something)

But. Now they're taking it to the next level of course. And it's getting VERY meta. In order for a spiderworld to exist - some spiderrelated events MUST happen.

But actually Miles is an anomaly so he REALLY CAN WRITE HIS OWN STORY. Like Gwen says: HE REALLY CAN DO ANYTHING. And. He really can change canon. (Also explains why he's so OP yeah)

But also - didn't he already lose Uncle Aaron? But that's a different event? So Uncle Aaron is Uncle Ben. And then there's a police captain and a kid. Who's often related to the love interest. The question even is, why didn't Miguel gun for Miles immediately. Probably didn't know how to 'fix him'.

Stupid idea to tell Miles anything anyway tbh.

They really got rid of Aunt May quick to isolate Miles again.

I loved Hobie like - almost in retrospect. HE WAS ACTUALLY PUNK ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT!!!

Loved the moments of betrayal. Especially between Gwen and Miles. And Peter and Miles. and Peter and Gwen. And Gwen and Spider-Woman. 'we're supposed to be the good guys!' YEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! That's also why I thought they wrapped Gwen's dad's thing too soon because dude, that was like a huge awful betrayal and they handled it almost like some regular fight between a kid and her dad. Especially coz GWEN had to be the adult in the room when he walked away - like WHAT. And how did her speech lead to him quitting. There should have been one more beat about firstly: Gwen being like: oh god he's gonna die anyway and secondly: something changed - Miles changed it. Or - I changed it (because. I met Miles?). To tie it all back.

It was incredible action, emotion, tempo, character moments etc. BUT I'll say it.

The ending was weak. Couldn't have been anything else I guess. They definitely could have done worse. The windowed narrative was pretty good, and the reveal etc. it all helped..but still weak and a little disappointing.

'There's always a way'. But how? I guess you got Spot which is a new element in the multiverse. Might be able to do something about....holes in the canon. eyyyy. If he weren't a supervillain for idk stupid ego reasons.

Miguel is not funny. It's actually amazing that it's commented on and in fact right around that comment the jokes around him fall flat.

Interestingly he seemed to be injecting himself with spiderdna I guess as more permanent inoculation against glitching

Loved Nueva York...

I also can't think of a way the ending could have been better. I just didn't think they'd cut it off. Didn't realise it was a series and not a whole story. Then suddenly I get this uneasy feeling like wait uh we're slowing but we're not there yet by far....

I think maybe my brother is right and they should have spent less time on Uncle Aaron putting on a record and more on Gwen getting ALL the buddies from ALL the worlds - interspersed with Miles getting getting more 'threatened' and that speeding up and up and then we get the reveal. BAM. And something about Gwen coming for Miles. Actually I think probably the windowed band story might have been bad actually here because tbf this ISNT Gwen's story anymore. We switched povs. I really absolutely LOVED Gwen as the main character at the beginning there. I adored it. Holy shit. But we switched. And they should have made her reference something Miles said. Not (just) her own personal story. Because it's not (just) about her anymore at that point.

Hah. What a thing to say from me who realised during those first ten minutes how POWERFUL a Spiderman story about a girl was to me suddenly - told so incredibly - even if at super high speed. Her internality is so different from what Miles sees ... Genuinely felt so - well whatever. Im glad enough we got ten minutes of her story, of her as main character. Still can't really expect more.

Also absolutely called that teleport mixup the moment I realised he wanted to use the going home machine

Also just really loved Miles' world. Brooklyn. the bbq, the streets it's all so homy and particular. His parents are a great team but damn they really shouldn't use that for ganging up on him. I feel like this film doesn't deliver enough comeuppance for parents, not enough grovelling. Why was there that moment with Gwen and his parents? It didn't land fully - because at that point I didn't yet know that the film was ending.

[mx-ryder]

Commission Sample

700 words from a 3k word commission. M/M pairing with some fun dynamics that I really enjoyed being able to explore.

Ben snorted, not quite a laugh. “I’m not going to die from scraped knuckles. The other guy got it worse, anyway.” He flexed his hand as he spoke, impressed despite himself. Angel had done a good job. His knuckles hardly even hurt any more. Still looking down at his bandaged hand, he reached for Angel again, catching the other man’s hand as he moved to step away. “That’s why I came back. I need more.”

He didn’t need to specify more of what. It was the only reason he ever came to see Angel.

One of the only reasons.

To his surprise, Angel didn’t pull away. Instead, the other man stepped closer again. His hand came to Ben’s cheek, the gentlest of touches. Ben leaned into the contact; even if it was a literal demon, it had been a long time since someone had touched him with such gentle intent.

Angel’s voice was soft when he spoke. “This is unhealthy, Benjamin.”

Ben blinked. “Unhealthy? You’re taking chunks of my real human soul, and you’re worried about my health? Just . . . give me what I came for. And I’ll get out of your hair.” Until the next time his luck swung in the wrong direction.

“You sound like an addict.”

Angel clamped his mouth shut the moment the words left, wishing them unsaid. When Ben looked up at him, he could see the hurt in his eyes. Humans displayed so much of their emotion in their faces, their body language, their voices when they spoke. Everything in Ben’s posture and expression said that Angel had hurt him, and angered him.

Angel moved away, dropping his hand, backing away from Ben.

Ben followed him, hauling himself out of his chair in a series of pained movements. “No shit I sound like an addict.” He practically whispered it, his voice coming like poison. He advanced on Angel as he spoke, still limping with every step. “I am addicted. You changed my luck, and I got everything I’ve ever wanted. Money, sex, success. And every time it goes to shit I have to crawl back here to you and beg you for another fix. Even though I know it’ll just all go to shit again eventually.”

For an instant, Angel was nearly afraid. He was centuries older than Ben, worlds more powerful, and had his two living shadows besides. But the anger, the desperation on Ben’s face, and the way the larger man loomed over him, was nearly enough. He shrank away from Ben, realizing an instant too late that he’d come up against a wall.

“Do you know what that’s like, Angel?”

Angel gasped. That might have been the first time Ben had ever said his name. And he’d said it with such disdain.

Ben continued, still advancing, pressing Angel against the wall with his looming frame. Though Ben didn’t touch him, Angel shrank further away. He couldn’t take his eyes from Ben’s face, frozen under his searing gaze.

He seemed to want an answer, so Angel whispered a soft “no.”

“Of course you don’t. Because you’re Mr. High-and-mighty Demonspawn. You hold all the power in everything you do. You get people hooked on you, and you wring every bit of humanity out of them until they–” Stopping, Ben pressed a hand to his mouth and pulled it away bloody. He’d re-opened the split in his bottom lip. “Fuck.”

The change came over him suddenly. Blinking as though waking up from a dream, he looked down at Angel where he had pressed himself as close to the wall as possible. His face twisted, expression shifting from anger to something surprisingly close to shame.

“Fuck,” he said again. “I’m–I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

Without quite knowing why, or that he’d intended to do it, Angel pushed forward. He curled his fingers in the front of Ben’s shirt, pulling Ben down to his level so he could kiss him.

Ben reacted with a fervor that surprised Angel. He brought one hand up to Angel’s cheek, and closed the few inches of space between them again, crushing Angel between himself and the wall. Angel tasted the coppery tang of blood on his tongue, but ignored it.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Touch starved - Harry Hook x reader - Oneshot

blame @hanas-headcanons​ for this yall 

=

Harry-being from the isle, didn’t grow up with normal affection, the most you got physically was fist bumps, baps on the head, punching each other as hard as you could (for funsies~) and the very rare; pats on the back.

Yeah…isle kids didn’t get much affection growing up, leading many many to be touch starved. Such as the C4; Mal would smack at and basically hiss at anyone that tried to touch her that wasn’t Ben or her friends, only to actually melt into Ben’s arms when he hugged her gently. Evie thrived on physical affection, taking every chance she got to huddle up to someone she was close to. Jay loved being just-squished, happy to be the pillow or mattress. Carlos was the most-skittish of the three- he preferred gentle touches and soft hugs, preferring to be the one laying on Jay instead of being under Evie or Mal.

So Harry ended up being…adverse to touch, he didn’t like it, plain and simple. Only people close to him had permission to touch him, Uma and his sisters being the few with that permission. Then he met you, a bright, affectionate, cheery sunspot that suddenly crashed into his life when he arrived in Auradon.

You were just a quiet thing, sitting in the back of the class with your nose buried in your sketchbook. whenever the teacher called on you; you knew the answer, not even looking up from your art. He didn’t know what had drawn him to you, maybe it was that comforting personality you had, maybe it was your soft smile, or maybe it was that you had never judged him for all his mental bullshit.

He just one day realized oh, there you are; as you were laughing about your stupid joke about pirates. That was the day he admitted to himself tha the had fallen in love. He had confessed soon after, and realized you might be a bit more work than he thought, not in a bad way but-you were and are an EXTREMELY affectionate person, he could tell you wanted to hug him when he told you his feelings, but you settled for taking his hands and shaking them about. He felt a little bad, one of the huggiest girls at Auradon prep and she ended up with the one dude who hated hugs.

He remembered telling you so before you really even became friends ‘I hate hugs. Never got em never wanted em’ he could feel the pity coming from you, or maybe it was just sadness in general. “you’ve never been hugged?” you had sounded so broken, as if just the thought hurt you to the core. But after you got together, you compromised, you could do whatever you wanted with his hands, hold em, play with em, anything, just-don’t hug him without a week's warning.

But one day,  Harry was fully distracted, and you were too, bouncing around the room hyped up from your art project being accepted for the nautical art competition, leaping towards Harry and into his arms, laughing as he went stone still; snapped out of his daydream.

“oh, crap-im so sorry Harry! I got so caught up in my emotions and-and” you started to pull away, face flushed in embarrassment before Harry held you tight, practically melting into your arms “Harry?”

“where ‘ave ye been all me life” Harry grumbled, his arms around your waist tight and unbreakable, he-he was hugging you. “fuck” you beamed, realizing Harry-liked- your hugs. You quickly held him again, rubbing your face against his head, giggling as he gasped and snuggled into you “fuck” you laughed louder, oh he was just so cute. “pirate puddle” you teased as Harry muttered curses, his cheek smushed into your shoulder as he pressed his hands to the small of your back. One of your hands started to run through his hair, your fingernails scratching his scalp and Harry felt as if he was going to melt right then and there. He let out a garbled mess of noises and you tilted to the side, landing on his bed and continuing to giggle as Harry practically crawled into your lap, every ounce of his weight being pressed against you. “yeh can hug me whenever ye’ want, jus’ lemme know it’s you first” Harry mumbled, sounding very sleepy, as if just your touch was comforting enough to put his mind at ease to sleep.

You nodded against his head; your lips pressed to his forehead “promise! Promise.” Harry hummed, happy at your response, and moved his face to press into the crook of your neck, smiling against your skin as you giggle at the feeling “told you; hugs are great”

“should’ve listened”

“yep yep”

-end~!-

again, blame Hana for this, they messaged me about touch starved Harry this morning and i just-HAD to, ive been wanting to write TC’d Harry for a while anyway so this just gave me the excuse, gonna do more with different situations, i just wanna see/read Harry fucking shake and melt when (y/n) holds his face for the first time 

permtaglist!

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​ @lunanight2012​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​ @musicarose​ @rintheemolion​

@random-thoughts-003​ @imtryingthisout​ @remembered-license​

@thecaptainsgingersnap​ @verboetoperee​ @saryguerrero​

@reallysparklychaos​ @thetrueghostqueen​ @dai-tsukki-desu​ 

[cheekygreenty]

Hii, I have literally spent all day reading your darling fics. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING! I was wondering if you were comfortable, if you could do Aleks and reader as parents with a little boy who could summon shadows too. Just something soft with a proud and protective Aleksander. If you aren't comfortable with that then I am soooo sorry for asking and making you uncomfortable. Again I really love your writing!

My boy - The Darkling x Reader

Thank you!!!! 💓💓💓 I hope you like this. It may be written very badly, but it got me out of my writers block so count your blessings lmao 😂 very fluffy btw 🥰

'Again Papa again!' the little boy was fascinated, his eyes gleaming with excitement at the newfound trick he had just seen his father procure. Little Mikhail had seen his papa summon shadows many times, often trying to catch onto the smooth black tendrils, but never like this. Aleksander on the other hand, stood still, the shock and endearment freezing his actions. What in Saint's name was that I did not do that- his head was running at a million thoughts per second.

The child however was insistent and quickly growing frustrated, his little fingers grasping onto Aleksander's hands in plea. 'Papa!! please!!'

Ever since the boy graced the earth, questions surrounding his power were constant. Although he was a Morozova, the only family line which could possess shadows, you were a Sun-Summoner of not one but two Morozova amplifiers, quite possibly the most powerful Grisha in all of history. Aleksander always thought his lineage would be overpowered by you and your Grisha nature, but he never really cared. To add to it, even though Aleksander was a living amplifier, he could never access his child's power, at once even settling that he was an otkazat'sya. But this. Oh my. This charming little boy was a shadow-summoner.

'Mikki let's bring you to mommy'

Aleksander scooped up the small child in his arms and raced to your office, practically sprinting through the gardens. The boy was not having it, writhing and thrashing in his father's arms, still throwing a tantrum about what he'd just seen. If Aleksander was right, Mikhail had just summoned for the very first time at the age of 4 and didn't realize he did it, and not his papa. He truly was a sight to behold, still dressed in his intimidating black kefta with a screaming child in his hands, running through the Little Palace like a mad man. He yanked open your door, shouting your name.

'Y/N!'

You had told Aleksander to take Mikhail while you tended to your mounds of paperwork, even the famous Sankta Y/N had tedious tasks. It had been piling up for days now and the constant distractions did nothing to aid you.

With your head stuck into reading a proposed trade agreement with the Zemini about jurda, your head snapped up to the sound of an opening door, the panic in Aleksander's voice and Mikhail's shrewd cries activating your fight or flight, automatically making dread fill your guts. Mikhail. You didn't hesitate in whipping out of your seat and inspecting the scene in the foyer.

'What is it? Why is he cryi-' You reached for your boy, his whimpers dying out as his hands grabbed for you. Aleksander's hand stopped you.

'Guess what?' a small smile made its way to his face. What is he smiling about when his child was crying? You stayed silent, simply letting your eyes check for any sign of injury to your son, nothing.

'What?' you were confused. You could faintly make out a slight sheen to Aleksander's eyes, was he crying?

'He summoned'

Your eyes grew as wide as saucers. My son is a Grisha. You too had been worried that he was an otkazat'sya. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

You had been anticipating him to show his small-science earlier, plainly due to you and Aleksander's pure power and also down to being constantly surrounded by Grisha. But now you understood that didn't matter, everybody is different, even the son of the two most powerful Grisha to ever live. But wait, what did he summon.

You looked at him and then back to your dear husband who now had a tiny tear trailing its way down his cheek.

'I'm assuming I have two shadow-summoners to take care of now?'

You reflected his smile and hugged your boy closely. Aleksander's arms embraced the two of you in a tight embrace.

'That's my boy. Right, Mikki?'

He looked to his son, the same onyx eyes looking back into his. The boy nodded absentmindedly, more focused on your black kefta button than to the emotional fiasco going on around him.

'Mikki?'

'Yes Mama'

'Do you want to show me your trick?'

'What trick?'

Aleksander took him from your arms and settled him on the ground, kneeling by his side. He took his small hands into his own and felt for that taste of power he looked for as a human amplifier. As if on queue, the room started to envelop in complete darkness, small shoots of pillowy black crawling over the books on the bookshelves, shutting out any light from the outside.

You conjured up a small orb in your hand and shot it forward to where Mikki was, suddenly remembering he was scared of the dark but the minute it settled to hover over his head, a shadow pierced through it, sending a trickle of star-like rain over the room.

Aleksander gently disconnected his hands from Mikhail's, who surprisingly enough showed no sign of fear. You stared at him in awe, your little four-year-old, who cried when you stepped on a flower, had immense power, just like his father.

'That's my boy' Aleksander whispered as he approached you. You stood on your toes to reach up and kiss him passionately.

'That is your boy' You smiled against his lips. His hands came to settle over your stomach, a minuscule bump, not visible to the naked eye.

'Maybe this one will be yours' He laughed and in his head, counted the blessings you had given him, quickly realizing it was a never-ending list.

Taglist (tell me if u want to be added!!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Pregnant!Female!Reader) pt. 14

Hannibal reads too much into Max's attempt to reconcile and cult girl revisits her past.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: discussions of death, abandonment, military casualties, emotional abuse

You soon returned to the opera knowing you had nothing to hide. Hannibal selected for you an off-white maternity gown so form-fitting it was practically painted on. He wanted everyone to see that you, his queen, empress and goddess, were carrying his child.

It only took that evening for the whole dynamic to change. Suddenly, you were an expectant new mother. Imogen had been a massive hit, you were planning to go again.

You were affixing your heavy cubic zirconia earrings when you heard a knock at the door. You hesitated, but hurried down the stairs when you saw who it was.

"Max?" You said, upon opening the door. He stood there awkwardly, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Hi?"

"Hey, [F/N]." Max greeted, eyes darting nervously around the porch. "I just came around to apologize in person. I'm sorry I was such a chauvinist prick."

You leaned against the door. "Oh?"

"You were right." He continued. "I don't know what it's like to carry a baby, and, unless something goes very wrong, I never will."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." You smiled.

"Anyway, these are for you." He said, handing the bouquet over. "They're chrysanthemums."

"Thank you, Max." You said, accepting the flowers.

"Archie and I-" He scratched the back of his head. "We thought that, maybe, if you'd still have us, that we'd name the baby Chrysanthemum. With your permission, of course."

"Like the picture book?" Your face lit up. "With the little mouse girl?"

Max nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly."

You hugged the bouquet into your chest and considered it again. You looked back at Hannibal, who hadn't looked up from his expectant fathers' website for a second all day. He surrounded himself with books about child psychology, attachment theory, developmental behavior patterns and somehow found himself on a tangent about institutionalized misogyny in medicine.

"I'm sorry, Max." You said, sincerely. "I really do appreciate you coming down here and apologizing, but-"

Max put his hands up and gave you a disarming smile. "I understand. Plans change."

"I just really want to stress that it's not you." You assured him. "I've kind of... really grown to like the idea of being a parent. And I think that was Hannibal's plan all along, too."

"I believe a congratulations is in order, then." His voice turned up in delight. "I'm very happy for you. Both of you."

You clutched the bouquet to your chest. "Thank you."

"Well, I'd better get going." He stepped backwards down the stairs. "I've got three pints of Ben and Jerry's in the backseat and Archie'll have my head if I come home and they've melted."

"Max, wait." You stopped him before he could get down the driveway.

"Hm?"

You leaned against the threshold and smiled warmly. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Max returned the smile. "Of course not."

You waved goodbye and shut the door. You hurried to the kitchen to put the flowers in water before you had to go.

"Who was that, love?" Hannibal asked, half-heartedly. He was still very fixated on his research.

"Max Thomas-Park." You answered, unwrapping the flowers from the decorative plastic.

Hannibal looked up from his computer, but left the room silent for you to fill.

"He wanted to make amends." You explained. You walked across the room to the china cabinet and selected a vase big enough to hold the ornate bouquet. "Brought flowers and everything."

"Chrysanthemums?" He asked, sniffing the air.

"I see your sense of smell is coming back." You commented.

"Interesting selection." He narrowed his eyes on the bouquet.

"Well, he said that was what he wanted to name the kid." You offered. "It was a cute pitch, not gonna lie."

Hannibal shut his laptop and examined the bouquet up close. "If he wanted to express regret, he would have done better to bring you blue or purple hyacinths."

"Well, like I said." You made a point to project a little more. "He said he wanted to name his daughter chrysanthemum."

"Mums are given to show sympathy for those in mourning." Hannibal continued, clearly having his own conversation.

"Hannibal-"

"I think your cousin got her hooks in him and he's planning to--" He cut himself off, lest he speak the unthinkable into reality. "That's why he brought mourning flowers."

"Max Thomas-Park is conspiring with Anna to kill our unborn baby?" You said, flatly, to emphasize how insane he sounded.

Hannibal held a bloom between his fingers and looked closely at it. "It's the kind of hint I would leave. For courtesy's sake."

"I think looking at parenting blogs all day has made you a little paranoid." You observed, knowing full well that an overprotective husband and soon-to-be father of your child was not a bad problem to have. Nevertheless, you shut the laptop and touched his cheek. "Come on. We're going to be late for the opera."

You heaved yourself into the passenger's seat of the car, feeling the seat give beneath your heavy frame. Every time you got into the car, you remembered that you needed to shop for a car seat. The thought just as soon left your mind every time. 

“We need to look for a car seat.” You said as Hannibal shut the door, hoping that he’d remember. 

“I mean,” Hannibal blurted out, still lost in his own conversation. “Max is a cultured and well-educated man. He has to know the implications of his flowers.” 

You huffed, dreading to think that paranoid delusion was symptomatic of his parenting style. “Right. The twenty-seven year old data analyst who graduated with a finance MBA from UChicago is also proficient in the outdated and frivolous language of flowers.” 

“In Italy, mums are only given as comfort for loss.” Hannibal said with undeserved conviction. “Exclusively, [F/N].” 

You rolled your eyes and typed something up on your phone. You raised your eyebrows, feeling a bit proud of yourself for what you found. 

“In Korea, y’know, the country that Max’s family is from,” You corrected. “The chrysanthemum is a symbol of friendship.” 

Hannibal tensed up for a moment, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. It was as if he were trying to break himself out of a trance. “...I’m sorry, darling.” 

“I know you’re scared.” You stared at his profile, trying to make out an expression. “I’m also... pretty scared. But you can’t take it out on a guy who has nothing to do with it.” 

“I am scared.” He affirmed, but the way in which he did was a telltale sign that he wasn’t giving you the full story. 

“Of?” You raised your eyebrow. “Finish the sentence, Hannibal.” 

"I need to keep our baby safe." He answered. "And I cannot in good conscience let her come into the world knowing that someone wants to hurt her. To hurt you."

You sighed. "Hannibal, are you seriously still worried about Anna?"

"Don't underestimate the role privilege and entitlement plays in the decision to commit acts of violence." He enunciated carefully. "You of all people should know that."

"Anna has cultivated such a perfect victim image to project outwardly that even a hint of proactive violence would shatter it." You explained. "She's the poor girl who has things done to her. Her evil cousin ruined her marriage. Her evil cousin destroyed her career. And she's the innocent victim in all of it."

"Logically, I know that you can speak on her behavior with more authority than I." Hannibal admitted.

"No shit." You scoffed. "I had to live with her."

"Can we at least entertain the idea that she has something planned?" He pleaded.

"I'm surprised at you." You said. "You never really struck me as the overly-cautious type."

Hannibal shook his head. "With my own life, I'm willing to gamble. But not when it's you. And not when it's Imogen."

You tensed up. His admitted willingness to put himself in danger unlocked a core memory you had buried deep down. The only thing you knew about your own father was that he was willing to put himself in danger. To go overseas and die for fuck-all instead of live for the child he selfishly created then abandoned. He chose to give his life for oil. You didn't choose to grow up without a father and your mother didn't choose to raise a child without a partner. He made that choice for you.

"Now what are you not telling me?" Hannibal broke you out of your trance. "I know that look, [F/N]."

"Nothing." You shook your head. "You should really not plan on dying anytime soon."

"I promise you, I am not going anywhere." His voice softened. "Least of all, to Iraq."

"Okay, you're a pretty good therapist but you never told me you could read minds." You threw your hands up in defeat. "Are you a psychiatrist or are you Loki?"

"As fun as being the god of mischief would be," Hannibal smiled to himself. "I just happen to have a steel-trap memory and an admittedly quite obsessive fixation on the mental health of the mother of my child."

"I swear to god I never told you about him." You denied. "Not even in passing."

"You didn't have to." He assured you. "Beatrice did."

You were surprised for a fraction of a second until the information sat in your head long enough to realize it wasn’t surprising in the slightest. Beatrice took every opportunity she got to brag about her son's sacrifices. She never once mentioned the sacrifices he forced upon you. Only that her son was a hero.

"Did you get the 'don't believe anything [F/N] has to say about my son' speech?" Your voice flattened in complete non-surprise.

"It was a prepared speech?" Hannibal chuckled. "Pity. I thought I was special."

"She gave it to my first boyfriend." You rolled your eyes. "We were, like, fifteen."

"The root of your psychological issues becomes clearer every time we talk about Beatrice." He commented under his breath.

"I know." You conceded.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off and placed his hand over yours.

"Your father was a coward." He said, bluntly. It was nice to hear what had been echoing in the back of your head out loud for once. "I know no country to serve. No god to glorify. I promise, you have the whole of me. My mind, body and soul belongs to you and our child."

You squeezed his hand. "I couldn't ask for anything else."

[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~sixth chapter rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

Two months later, you sat outside The Daily Bugle and impatiently bounced your leg. While waiting to see if your boss liked your first draft of the Cleatus Kassidy article, you reflected on your past two months in New York.

It was now June. You and Venom had fallen into a routine. You’d work on the Cletus article by day and go patrolling at night. Of course, being Venom wasn’t a nightly occurrence. You’d only go out eating once or twice a week. Still, you managed to have 11 run ins with Spider-Man.

You and Peter had become significantly closer in that past two months as well. You’d help him with his homework, though you secretly thought he was smarter than you, and he helped me with your story. Some nights, he’d visit you on your fire escape and watch the sun go down. You had no idea how he got there, but you didn’t care.

You’d send him science puns while he was at school and he’d bring you food and keep you company when You had writers block. Your favorite was the long talks on the roof. You would sit there for hours and tell each other everything. You knew all his secrets and he knew yours.

Well, not all.

But the best part of all was that every now and then, you’d catch the other staring. Then, the other would stare back until someone, usually Peter, started to lean in. Every time you thought you were finally going to take the next step, something would interrupt you. Whether it was May knocking or Ned barging in or Peters phone ringing. That was another thing about Peter. His damn phone was always ringing and then he’d have to dash off somewhere, leaving you with a random excuse or something about an internship. Sometimes, you’d wish he’d just throw his phone aside and kiss you already.

“Great work so far, L/n.” Your boss tore you away from your thoughts. “I knew you’d be right for the job.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jameson.” You stammered as you stood up. “I really appreciate you giving me this job. I was kinda blackballed back in San Francisco.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “But you ask the hard hitting questions that people want to hear. Once this article is out, I want you to write one on Venom.”

“Venom?” You gulped at her name.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “You know that scary black monster that’s been fighting Spiderman? I’m thinking an exposé on that menace webhead and his latest enemy, and I think you’d be perfect for the job.”


“I would love to.” You said quickly. “I’ll start researching right away.”

With that, you turned on your heel and left the building before Venom caused a scene.

“Monster?” Venom roared once you got in your car. “Scary?”

“I know.” You whined. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was gonna call you that.”

“His whole job is reading about the most dangerous criminals in New York. If he thinks we’re scary, what’s Peter gonna think?” Venom asked. You laughed in dismissal until you thought about what he said.

What would Peter think? What if you told Peter who you really were and he ran away? He was sweet and understanding, but how understanding could he possibly be when you tell him you can turn into a flesh eating monster?

That’s when you realized you were scared. You were scared of letting Peter in and him letting himself right out. You were scared of repeating the mistakes you made with Andy. No, not scared.

Petrified.

What if Peter didn’t like what he saw? What if he realized you were too messy to be with? Or had too much baggage? Peter deserved a nice girl. One with a normal family and friends. One without depression. One without a flesh eating symbiote attached to their immune system.

“What’s wrong baby?” Venom asked with concern. She cuddled around your neck and nuzzled into your cheek.

“I can never be with Peter.” You whispered, mostly to yourself. Hot tears of frustration filled your eyes so you looked up to keep them from falling. Admitting it felt like a fatal blow to the stomach. Venom tied your hair up with one of her arms and wiped the tears from your face.

“Why do you say that?”

You thought about it for a moment before answering. You didn’t want to tell Venom that you were feeling insecure. She freaked out on you whenever you said something negative about yourself. You didn’t wanna another 100 slide PowerPoint titled “why Y/N L/N is the baddest bitch in the galaxy”. Especially since forty of those slides were just pictures of your butt. You appreciated Venom wanting to help but you were feeling the kind of insecure that a pep talk couldn’t fix. You needed to figure it out on your own. So instead, you told her a different fear you had.

“Because. Look at us. We’re the only thing keeping each other alive.” You reasoned. “What if we get separated and die? I can’t become one of those people in Peters life who loved him and then left him. His mom, his dad, his Uncle Ben. I don’t want to die and leave Peter behind. He’s been through enough. He’d be so much better off without me.”

“We’re not gonna die. You protect me and I protect you. Nothing will hurt us as long as we have each other.” Venom assured you.

“I can’t protect you like you protect me.” You said softly. “I’m just a human. What if something happens to me and you die because of it?”

“Nothing will happen to you, Y/N. I promise. I won’t let it.” Venom swore. You looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

“I won’t let anything happen to you either.” You said, but you didn’t promise it. You knew you couldn’t promise it.

“And you can be with Peter.” Venom insisted. “On Klyntar, we mate for life. And we think you’ve found your mate in Peter.”

“What does that mean?” You wondered.

“It means we’ve become attached to him and will never be happy with anyone else.” Venom said. You let out a shaky breath as that wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You needed a reason to shut your feelings for Peter down.

“Like soulmates?” You asked.

“Exactly like soulmates.” Venom answered.

“Well what happens on Klyntar if someone is your soulmate but you’re not theirs?”

“Then we go into a cave and mourn until we die alone of heartbreak.” Venom said simply.

“That sounds about right.” You laughed sadly as you took a second to think.

“I’m gonna call that guy back.” You said suddenly.

“What guy?” She asked.

“They guy who asked me out at the coffee shop this morning.” You reminded her.

“The one with the stupid hair? Why would you call him?” Venom asked angrily.

“What was wrong with his hair?” You laughed.

“It was blonde. We like brunette.” Venom said with a devilish grin.

“His hair was fine.” You rolled your eyes. “And I’m gonna call him to say yes to the date.”

“Why would we do that when we like Peter?” Venom whined.

“Because if Peter doesn’t like us, I don’t want to die of heartbreak alone in a cave.” You admitted.

“He does love you.” Venom protested.

“We don’t know that.” You shook your head. “It’s just one date. I need to get back out there anyway. I haven’t gone on a date Andy and I broke up.”

“Fine.” Venom grumbled. “But this is a terrible idea and I’m going to complain the whole time and sing the Les Mis soundtrack in your head.” This was one of those moments where she felt more like your toddler than your symbiote.

You gave the guy a call before driving back to your apartment. As fate would have it, you ran into Peter in the hallway on your way to your room.

“Hey Y/n!” Peter greeted you. “You want to come over later and help me with spanish? I’ll amo you mucho.”

You wanted so badly to say yes but you had to stick to the plan to squash your feelings for Peter.

“Aw, I’m sorry Pete. I wish I could but I have a date tonight.” You frowned, instantly regretting it when you saw the look on his face.

Peter’s heart sank to the floor as he emotions went from feeling devastated to feeling white hot anger in a matter of seconds

“A date?” He sputtered. “With who?”

“Some boy I met at the coffee shop.” You said weakly, knowing you were hurting him.

“Oh.” He said dully. 

“Some boy.” He thought angrily. “Some freaking dirty ass sissy coffee boy asked my girl out.”

Peter felt like hunting the man down and smacking the shit out of him. Or at the very least, webbing him to a wall leaving him there until he missed the date.

“What’s his name?” Peter asked suddenly, wanting to put a name to his new mortal enemy.

“Matt.” You nodded slowly.

“Freaking Matt.” Peter thought. “Freaking dirty ass bitch ass Matt. Was Matt Spider-Man? No. Could Matt treat you as well as I could? Probably. But did he like you as much? No. Did he have inside jokes with you? No. Could he make you laugh your beautiful laugh just by doing a Captain America impression? No. He wasn’t good enough for you. He couldn’t do the things I could do. He was trash. He was a trashy dirty ass rat boy.”

“Interesting.” Peter said, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“I’ll text you when it’s over and maybe I can help you then.” You offered. That sound okay, guapo?”

Peter nodded sadly, not even acknowledging that you called him handsome. Actually, he probably had no idea that you did. He was smart, but only in English.

“That’s fine.” He nodded glumly. “I’ll see you later.”

You watched Peter trudge into his apartment and felt a pain in your heart. He seemed so upset all the sudden. It couldn’t be from your date, could it? It’s not like you told him you got engaged or something. It was one little date. And it’s not like Peter even made a move. He had no reason to be upset. You brushed it off and went into your apartment to get ready.

Just as Venom predicted, the date went horribly wrong. You drove back to the apartment in silence afterwards, leaving Matt to clean himself off back at the restaurant.

“Why did that happen?” You asked her after a long drive in silence. You were mortified from the events of the night but you needed to know why they happened.

“Because he wasn’t your soulmate.” Venom said simply.

“We defiled that boy.”

“It happens.” Venom stated.

“It shouldn’t.” You said, shocked at how nonchalantly she was being.

“But it does.”

You rode the rest of the way in silence, shooting Peter a text before asleep on your couch. You woke up a few hours later in a cold sweat and in tears. You didn’t know it, but Peter was listening to your breathing from his apartment. He had picked up the small cries of his name in your sleep with his superhearing and stayed up to see if you were okay.

You weren’t, by the way. You had had a nightmare that shook you deeply and left you shaking. It was about Peter, but not in a good way. In this dream, he laid injured on the ground after a fight. You were separated from Venom and bleeding out near Peter. You couldn’t do anything to save him. You couldn’t scream for help. And worse, you couldn’t protect him. It caused you great agony to not be able to reach him.

Without giving it another thought, you got off your couch and made your way to the door. You needed to see Peter and tell him how you felt.

You didn’t care about your insecurities anymore. You didn’t care about all the things keeping you apart. You only cared about him, and that was enough. He needed to know that and you couldn’t wait another second.

You swung open your front door, only to find Peter Parker outside it in pink Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a tight white t-shirt. His hand was raised, like he was about to knock.

“Hey.” you breathed. His hair was tousled and sticking up in random places. He looked heavenly.

“Hi.” He said shyly.

“I was just about to go to your door. I had a bad dream.” You told him. You were anxious to skip the semantics and cut right to the chase. 

The chase being, “I love you and I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

“Yeah, I heard. That’s why I’m here.” Peter explained. That’s not what he wanted to say. What he wanted to say was, “I’m always here if you need me. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you. I love you. It’ll be okay.”

Peter looked at you funny for a moment, like he was seeing something beneath the surface.

“She looks so beautiful.” He thought. Makeup free, hair a little messy, and nothing but an oversized sweatshirt to cover you. Peter recognized the sweatshirt as his own, one you had swiped from his laundry basket because you had been freezing while watching Alien in his room. He felt so honored to know that you slept in it. Peter wondered how many times he could fall in love with you in a short span of time. In the past few seconds, he’d fallen about 15 times. Once for every breath you took. And you were breathing quite heavily.

“You heard?” You asked, wondering how he

had possible heard from his apartment.

“My hearing is excellent.” He said quickly. “Are you alright?”

“Please be alright.” He thought. “I’d stop anything that tried to hurt you. I’ll protect you from the storm. Don’t shut me out. Don’t turn me away. Let me love you.”

“Um…” You trailed off and looked behind you at your empty apartment. The darkness looked anything but inviting. You couldn’t go back in there just yet.

“No?” It came out as more of a question.

“No? Do you want to talk about it-“ Peter was cut off when you rushed into his arm and hugged him tightly. He seemed taken aback, seeing as you nearly knocked the wind out of him. But as soon as he found his footing, he wrapped his strong arms around you and held you close. You relaxed in Peters embrace and let out a sigh.

“I had a nightmare.” You croaked. “You died and I couldn’t save you.” 

“I know. It’s okay. You’re awake now. I’m here.” Peter said soothingly. 

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He thought. “I will never abandon you. You are safe in my arms. Nothing can hurt you now. I won’t let it.”

You pulled away a little and looked at his face, seeing how tired it was.

“Would you stay with me?” You asked timidly. You didn’t want him to go. Not now, not ever.

“Always.” Peter answered with a smile. “As if I could ever leave you.”

Your lips lit up in a smile as your eyes fell to his lips. They lingered there for too long, or maybe just long enough. Peter took the hint and slipped his hand behind your neck and began to pull you closer. As your lips were about to touch, your door slammed, causing you to jump out of each other’s embrace.

“Shit balls.” You said immediately, letting out an annoyed sigh.

“What?” Peter asked, giggling a little at your choice of profanity.

“I just locked myself out.” You realized as you jiggled through door handle. Peter laughed louder this time and put a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on. You’re sleeping over.” He said, leading you back to his apartment with his hand on the small of his back.

You entered Peters room for the millionth time, but it felt the first time. Sure, you’d become good friends in the time you’ve lived in the building, but bedrooms were intimate places. The context of you being in Peters bedroom after going to him for comfort changes how you saw the place. After all, bedrooms were windows into the soul. Oh wait, that’s eyes. Still, the room was different. You didn’t feel like you were entering it. You felt like you were returning.

You looked around with a content smile on your face. He still had his academic decathlon posters on his wall, along with a few Avengers posters. Peter was pretty neat, but he was still a teenage boy. Socks and sweaters were strewn across the room. You saw him kicking a pair of boxers under his desk out of the corner of you eye. His room was so cute. It was so…Peter. You noticed a first aid kit on his desk next to his chemistry textbook and wondered what on earth he could be using it for.

“I’ve always liked your room.” You complimented as you touched a decathlon trophy on his dresser.

“Oh thank God.” Peter sighed in relief. “I thought you’d take one look at my nerdy ambiance and run.”

“Star Wars bedsheets?” You asked when you noticed the Death Star poking out under his duvet. You definitely hadn’t seen those before and found them endearing. Peters ears reddened and he fixed his duvet to cover them up.

“Those aren’t mine.” He said quickly.

“Are they Mays? As in May the force be with you?” You played along and he gave you a defeated smile.

“That was the worst thing anyone has ever said. Ever.” Peter joked. You laughed and he gave you a shy smile.

“Fine. They’re my bedsheets. Star Wars is cool, okay?” Peter defended. You took a seat on his bed and shrugged.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me Peter. I just didn’t know you were a loser, is all.”You said simply. Peter sat down on the bed next to you and rolled his eyes.

“Very funny. You’re the funniest person I know.” He said sarcastically. You nudged him with your elbow and he and hit you with a Yoda printed pillow.

“Mm. Good with the force you are.” You commented. Peter groaned loudly and told you to shut up.

“Enough playing around. How was your date?” Peter asked as he turned to face you. You could hear the pain in his voice and regretted ever telling him about the date.

“Oh, you know.” You shrugged. “Terrible.”

You weren’t going to let him off the hook that easy. If Peter really did like you and want to be with you, he needed to say it. He couldn’t just grumble and wallow in self pity when you were with another boy. You wanted to test him to see if he’d ever actually admit his feelings, but a part of you was still scared there were no feelings to admit to.

“Really?” He said excitedly. He cleared his throat to cover it up and grunted. “I mean, really?” He asked calmly.

“Yeah it was awful. I definitely won’t be seeing him again.” You sighed sadly, but you weren’t actually sad. You were just putting on a show for Peter. Peter bit the inside of his cheek to stop the smile from emerging.

“That’s terrible.” Peter lied. “What went wrong?”

His acting was equally as bad as your own. He had a shit eating grin on his face, pretending to be sad when he was clearly over the moon.

“It was going fine all night until the kiss.” You sighed dramatically, looking longingly out the window. You might as well have thrown yourself onto the balcony and cried out for Romeo. Peter, however, was buying every second of it.

“You guys kissed?” He asked, his voice heavy with disappointment. He looked miserable. All you wanted to do was throw your arms around his neck and tell him he was the only one for you. Instead, you kept your feelings to yourself and nodded slowly.

“Almost. He leaned in and…” instead of finishing your sentence, you just shrugged. You could tell Peter was on the edge of his seat so you dragged it as long as you could.

“And?” Peter practically begged. You let out another long, dramatic sigh as Peter took a slow sip of his water bottle.

“And I threw up on him.” You said simply. Peter spat out the water in his mouth and burst out laughing, doing his best to cover it up. You gave him a fake angry look but ended up laughing as well.

“What?” Peter laughed.

“He was such a tool.” You whined. “He talked down to me the entire night and then had the audacity to try and kiss me. I don’t know what happened but all the sudden he was leaning in and I was throwing up. He deserved it though. He treated me like was an idiot. I’m almost glad I threw up on him.”

Peters was overjoyed. He was about to say something when we heard a straggled cry of your name.

You and Peter rushed to his peephole and saw a familiar blonde haired boy standing in the hallway.

There he was, Matt, outside your apartment door with his phone on full volume playing “Hungry Eyes” from Dirty Dancing.

“What the actual hell?” You wondered out loud. “I better get rid of him.”

“Y/nnnnnn. I’m sorry I was a jerk.” Matt slurred. “Please talk to me. I told the doorman we were cousins. Then I told the elevator guy that I was your husband. You may need to move now. Y/nnnn.”

“You definitely can’t go out there.” Peter shook his head. “He could have a knife.”

“Or worse.” You whispered, making Peter looked at you fearfully. “He could have the same loser bedsheets you do.”

Peter scrunched his nose at you and picked up you swiftly to threw you onto the couch.

“Since when are you so strong?” You laughed in shock. Peter shrugged and held out a hand.

“Let’s go to bed.” He said. You raised an eyebrow and he quickly added, “In a non-sexual, platonic way.”

He was always so cautious of offending you or making you uncomfortable. You appreciated how much of a gentleman he was and knew Aunt May had implemented those qualities in him.

“You can take the bed.” He offered. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Let me know if you need anything.”

You nodded and climbed into his bed, patting the the space next to you.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You told him. “Get in.”

Peter looked at you with wide eyes, looking very unsure of himself as he toyed with the hem of his shirt.

He was torn. He wanted to get into the bed, but he also knew you were vulnerable right now and he didn’t want to take advantage of you. He didn’t want to do anything you’d end up regretting in the morning.

“Get in, in a non-sexual, platonic way.” You added. Peter relaxed but stayed standing. You pretended to splash Peter and twirled your hand around the bedsheets as if they were water.

“Come on in Parker. The waters warm.” You said in a low voice.

“I am…repulsed.” Peter deadpanned. In reality, he was dying to get in the bed. He wasn’t gonna try anything, he just wanted to feel you close. He wanted to comfort you and take the pain of the night away. Finally, he got into the bed and pulled the covers up. He shut off his lamp and we fell into comfortable silence.

“Good night, Peter.” You whispered, turning your back to him and cuddling into his pillow.

“Night, Y/n.” He whispered back. You felt his eyes on the back of your neck still. He didn’t want to close them and fall asleep. He wanted to stay in this moment as long as he could.

You soon felt hesitant arms wrap around your waist. Peter was very unsure of himself and kept his hands loosely on your hips, barely touching. You turned your neck around and looked at him quizzically.

“What the hell are you doing?” You demanded. His hands flew off your waist and his eyes widened with fear. He looked so apologetic, you thought he might cry.

“Do you not know how to cuddle?” You asked before he could blurt out an apology. You grabbed his arms and pulled them tightly around your body. You held his hands in your own, flush against your chest. Peter felt really tense at first and a bit stiff, but he soon relaxed and nestled into your hair.

“You smell really good.” He muttered. You laughed softly against his body, prompting Peter to hold you even tighter.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Y/N.” He whispered. He said it so quietly, you figured he thought you had fallen asleep. “Sweet dreams.”

You woke up the next morning in Peter Parker’s arms. Subsequently, you wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of your life in Peter Parker’s arms. You were a mess of tangled limbs and hair but you found yourself firmly in his embrace, inhaling his cologne.

Peters eyes fluttered open suddenly and you were nose to nose.

“Hi.” You said softly, a playful smile resting on your lips. He was so pretty in the morning. He didn’t even have to try.

“Hey.” He chuckled. “This is new.”

“It is new. Is it okay?” You asked him, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

“Is waking up next to the actual sun okay?” He teased. “Uh yea, Y/n. It’s okay. You can sleep over anytime you like if it means more mornings like this.”

Of course he said that. He held all your strings and knew just how to tug them.

“Did you really not enjoy that date?” He whispered, but in his head thought, “Do you want to be with anyone else?”

You didn’t know why he was whispering, but the look in his eyes told you he was dead serious.

“Not in the slightest.” You answered honestly. What you wanted to say was, “Because it wasn’t with you.”, but you didn’t.

“Would you…would you want to go out with me sometime?” He asked shyly. “I promise I won’t throw up on you.”

He said the second part as if it was the only way you’d say yes to the date, which made you laugh.

“Peter Parker, I have waited exactly 64 days for you to ask me that question and you just had to ruin it by promising you won’t throw up on me?” You playfully scolded as Peters eyes lit up.

“Is that a yes?” He asked excitedly.

“It’s a yes.” You nodded, holding his nearest hand. “It’s always been a yes.”

“Can I-“ He began.

“Don’t ask.” You whispered. “Just do it.”

Peter leaned in slowly and you did the same. His lips had just ghosted yours when Aunt May knocked on the door. He bolted out of bed as you sat up.

“Breakfast is ready. Did you clean your room?” Aunt May called from the other side of the door.

“Yes.” Peter called back. You looked around. No he didn’t

“No you didn’t.” She said knowingly. She didn’t even have to see his room to know it wasn’t clean.

“I’ll clean it after.” He groaned.

“I’m coming in.” She said suddenly, making you and Peter look at each other in fear.

“Don’t! I’m naked.” He screamed.

“Fine. But it better be clean after breakfast. And put some clothes on. You should not be naked at 7 am.” Aunt May said. You heard her footsteps walking away and knew it was safe to speak. You got out of Peters bed as he got up to lock the door, his back still to you as he did it.

“Alright.” He sighed. “That should buy us some ti-“

The second he turned around, he was met with your lips on his. You had your hands on the sides of his face and your head tilted to the left. You felt Peters eyes flutter shut as his eyelashes tickled your cheeks. He was frozen at first, but slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. You melted into him and he melted right back into you. The kiss was short and sweet, but absolutely perfect.

When you pulled away, Peter gave you the softest eyes ever. A grateful smile was on his lips.

“I am so over these interrupted moments.” You laughed softly as you shook your head. Peters eyes twinkled in agreement. The sun was coming through the window and made his brown eyes look like pots of honey. You could stare at them forever.

And then he kissed you again, with confidence this time. He wasn’t ready for the last one since you caught him off guard. You let your fingers tangle in the messy curls at the back of his neck, something you thought you’d only get to dream of doing. Peter groaned slightly into your mouth as you tugged on his hair, indicating that he liked it. He put his hand under your neck and slipped his toungue in your mouth. Who knew Peter Parker knew how to kiss? He tasted like morning breath, spearmint chapstick, and something you could only identify as being exclusively Peter. When you pulled apart, he looked up at the sky and sighed.

“If I wake up and this is all a dream I’m going to fight you.” He said menacingly.

“Did you just threaten God?” You laughed.

“For you? Anthing. I’ll fight anyone for your honor. Our Lord and Savior can catch these hands can square up.” He promised.

“You’ve gone to far.” You joked. “We need to break up.”

“Don’t even joke. I’ve waited too long for this.” Peter said as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m only teasing. I’ve waited my whole life for you Parker. I’m never letting you go.” You told him. He burst out in a smile and kissed you swiftly, then promptly got down on one knee.

“Will you please be mine, darling? Officially?” He pleaded softly. There was so much hope in his eyes so you pretended to think about it.

“Sorry.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty busy with Matt.”

Peter stood up and gripped your hips, pulling you closer while you let out a small gasp.

“I never want to hear his name again. He had the privilege of taking my girl on a date and treated her poorly?” He raised an eyebrow. “He’s a deadman if I ever see him around here. Now, I need you to tell me you’re my girlfriend before my heart explodes. Tell me you’re mine. I won’t believe it until you say it. ”

You nodded yes as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

“Peter Parker, I always have, and always will be, yours.”