#sorry if you've already been tagged LMAO i always get to these so late in the day

[carniferous]

snippet sunday!

tysm to @messerflower for the tag <3

It’s not as thought he hadn’t expected it, but he had been dreading it. Still dreads it. Remus always was the most fiercely loyal of all of them, almost to the point of being territorial. If one could think James overly-protective (and he often is), then Remus was draconian. He’d spent all of last year rolling his eyes at the girls giggling at Sirius (and sometimes him). Scowling when Sirius suggested spending time with any of them. Even just in general, when James had once suggested inviting another Gryffindor student—a younger student newly added to the Quidditch team—to sit with them in the common room, Remus had looked up and asked Why? He’d said it guilelessly, head cocked to the side with genuine confusion, as though he couldn’t fathom why James wanted to bother with other people. As though they were a complete package, a singular unit, and any addition would be superfluous. Next to him, Lily had swatted him on the arm, saying, Don’t be mean, but Remus replied I’m not, so genuinely shocked that James had known he was telling the truth.

Anyway, that’s just the way Remus is. James likes it, most of the time. It makes him feel special, chosen, like Remus was so content with them and their friendship.

But it does make conversations like this difficult.

i'll tag: @residentrookie @grimjobs @pinklume @achilleslikespeas and anyone who wants to do this!

[kyupidos]

CONGRATS ON 100! i've been a reader of yours since the beginning, and you've greatly improved; your writing is awesome,, you deserve the milestone! for your halloween event, id like to request the dialogue prompt: "ah, you've made the mistake in thinking that just because this is a couples costume that you get any kind of say in it. you don't, actually." with ace trappola,, i think it'd be really cute! thanks so much, congrats again!

10/19/23’s delivery 🏹✉️ twisted wonderland

prompt 3 🕸★ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ 🕸★ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ 🕸★ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ ;; summary. ‘ah, you’ve made the mistake in thinking that just because this is a couples costume that you get any kind of say in it. you don’t, actually.’

100 follower milestone event homepage <- ! | event m.list

characters. heartslabyul : ace trappola ;; romantic . 🕸️ tags. reader is gender neutral ( you/your ), reader may or may not be yuu ( up to the reader ), romantic fluff

📞 _a/n. tysm for the congrats!! i’m glad you think i’ve improved, and i’ve noticed it too since i cringe at my earlier posts LMAO thanks for sticking around so long !! ( so sorry for getting this out so late, and so short too, but it’s been a busy couple days </3 )

a. trappola

— when you introduced him to the idea of matching costumes, it was safe to say that ace was feeling rather giddy. wearing couple costumes while traversing night raven for tricks and treats, the idea got him excited. of course he wouldn’t admit it, but even simple things like wearing matching fits always seemed to get his heart pumping faster than usual. for him, it was always in the little things, he supposed. you told him that you were going to go look for ideas on magicam, and for the few moments you stopped texting him, he spent internally giggling giddily to himself.

— some days, maybe two or three, had officially passed when you came up to him with whatever you apparently had in mind. you pulled up to his dorm, laying out on his bed the costume of choice. he stared, blinking once and then twice in perplexity of the costumes laid out, one of which being that of a cherry, and the other being a pie slice, presumably. “huuuh? what’s this?” ace questioned, with as much genuinity as possible as to not be rude, taking hold of the fabric of the cherry costume with his pointer and thumb finger, “this’s what we’re wearing?”

— in response to your casual nod, ace couldn’t help but tilt his head puzzledly. “of course, ‘cause you’re the cherry to my pie.” you spoke pridefully, peace sign in the air, and ace couldn’t help but snort. “eh, that so? then i guess i don’t mind it that much,” he accepted his fate easily, already used to your persistence even with the little things like this. maybe, he concluded, that’s why he enjoyed them so much, holding up the cherry costume completely with his fists now, looking at you as you held your own costume, holding it up to your chest as if to see if it fit, though you knew it did, in the meanwhile. “but i kinda figured we’d have a whole talk and a half about it.”

— you tutted smartly, wagging your pointer finger pointedly. “ah, you’ve made the mistake in thinking that just because this is a couples costume that you get any kind of say in it,” you lectured, a comedic sweat drop falling down the side of ace’s face as you easily continued, “you don’t, actually.” he just laughed in his amusement, ruffling his hair as he took a good look at his costume again. he guessed he did like it, after all—it wasn’t exactly what he expected it, but it was good enough for him. “alright then,” ace smiled for no reason in particular other than his mind wandering towards his daydreams of the both of you wearing your outfit together, “pie to my cherry, let’s wear it.”

[writer-and-thrasher]

Fic in Review 2023

Thanks to @trentcrimminallybeautiful for the tag! I'm (fucking hopefully) starting to get over being so deeply ill after two whole weeks, so I decided it was the time to do this! Yay!

tagging: Literally anyone who wants to, plus I'll tag @providing-leverage, @jamietarttdoodoodoodoo, and @trentcrimmisgay (sorry if you've already been tagged or if it's too late, my brain is rebooting)

Total Number of Completed Stories:

I completed 8 fics this year (1 for Dimension 20 and 7 for Ted Lasso)!!! It's way more than I planned to write in a year, especially given that four of them are over 10k words and I genuinely didn't think I was gonna write any fanfic this year. All in all, I'm really really proud of how much I've written!

Total Word Count: AO3's word count put me at 63,919, which... woah. The one D20 fic I wrote this year wasn't even 2k words, which means that I wrote over 60k words of Ted Lasso fanfic in 6 months. I didn't start writing for TL until June, which honestly makes me even prouder and more excited for tackling stuff next year!

Fandoms Written In: Ted Lasso, almost exclusively. I've also written for Dimension 20, and I figure I will more when Fantasy High: Junior Year releases, but for now I'm on a pretty big TL kick.

Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expect: I expected to write way less than this! I'd hoped I'd write some, but nothing was really grabbing ahold of me until Ted Lasso crashed into my brain.

What’s your own favorite story of the year, personally?:

Ooh, that's really tough. I'll split it into two because I can't choose:

In my Dichotomy series (I'm just really proud of it tbh), my favorite of the fics was The Dichotomy of a Captain, aka Roy's perspective. It felt the truest to any of them, though I continue to try to stay true to all of them. It's also the first of the fics in this series that made me realize I really could finish the series.

My favorite one-shot of the year is probably Out of Practice, if only because sometimes I get WIP ideas and rarely follow through, but I worked hard to finish this one. And also, I really like watching through Isaac's eyes as he learns stuff about his best friend.

Did you take any writing risks this year?: Honestly, I think the fact that I came back and started writing again was my biggest risk of the year. I wasn't really sure of my voice or style, and it was intimidating to come back and keep writing, but the community made a world of difference.

Do you have any fanfic goals for the New Year?: I've got different WIPs I want to write, like finishing the Dichotomy series and a few series I have in the bank. I think more tangible goals are to get more comfortable with writing new scenes and being more comfortable with past tense. I've always been drawn to canon-explicit stuff, and for some reason, present tense has me in a headlock lmao

Best story of the year: I don't know that I can say anything is "objectively" the best, since fanfic is subjective as hell anyway, but I feel like The Dichotomy of a Captain is the one I feel is the best written. But that one is also my favorite, so I may just be biased.

Most popular story of the year: I'm stealing @trentcrimminallybeautiful's way of doing this because I think it's good, so shoutout

By kudos: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 268

By subscriptions: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 52 (This was originally going to be one work I wrote the series on, but someone suggested I turn it into multiple works in one series, and this one was first, so it has the highest)

By comment threads: "The Dichotomy of a Captain" with 14

By bookmarks: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 65

By hits: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 2604

Overall, definitely "The Dichotomy of a Couch", though I did admittedly post it first. But also, wow, these numbers are super humbling, and I'm honored that anyone has read and reacted to what I've written. It means the world for this fic (and my others) to be so kindly received.

Most personal story of the year: Most definitely Who Tells Your Story. No contest.

Funniest story of the year: Ooh, I genuinely made myself laugh while writing The Dichotomy of a Prick, so I'd have to say that one. It's the least serious, and writing Jamie's thoughts brought a smile to my face.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Mmm, I guess Who Tells Your Story.

Most fun story to write: I gotta go with The Dichotomy of a Prick again, it was a breath of fresh air between two very serious parts of this series and amidst other more serious one-shots.

Story with the sexiest moment: I genuinely don't write sexy fics, so the answer is going to be very silly. The best I've got is an illusion to a sexy moment in the past during The Dichotomy of a Prick, but Definitely nothing actually sexy lol

Sweetest story of the year: I gotta go with Who Tells Your Story again, considering that I wrote it for the sweet moment.

“Holy crap that’s wrong even for you!” story: I'm also gonna take this to mean angsty instead of scandalous and say The Dichotomy of a Captain

Hardest story to write: The Dichotomy of a Prick was hard to write on a more technical level as far as Jamie's POV went; I was really conscious about not fucking up his character or writing him too OOC. But considering how personal it was for me, Who Tells Your Story gave me some gut punches as I wrote it that made it hard emotionally.

Biggest disappointment: I think that some fics I liked didn't do as well as others that I didn't like as much, but I also know that my writing got better over time, so I'm really not dwelling on it.

Biggest surprise: Writing again in general, definitely, but also how much love I've gotten for things I've been really excited about. I fully didn't expect so much kindness (far more a me thing than anyone in this community, y'all are wonderful) and it's definitely inspired me to keep going. Y'all are amazing and I'm so grateful for all of you.

[thatwouldbee-enough]

😅🎢🎶🛠⛔🌞❌💲🧐🎃🦅👀🤗💞🤲😬⌛ anyfandom!

Ahhhh thank you so much for this! Sorry it took a while there were so many to answer <3

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

Anything from the very very early days of my AO3 account lol. They weren't bad but there's definitely so many things when I go back and read them where I would write things a lot differently now

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Oh man. Interpreting wildest ride in two different ways here.

1 (craziest/most disturbing): Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind

2 (wild ride plot-wise): Fate and the Fall

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Yes!!! Some songs from recent writing playlists:

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

The Cause by Tommy Lefroy

Paul Revere by Noah Kahan

reckless driving by Lizzy McAlpine

Letter to an Old Poet by boygenius

Partners in Crime by FINNEAS

tolerate it by Taylor Swift

Colorado by Renee Rapp

You Could Start a Cult by Niall Horan w/Lizzy McAlpine

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

So many 😬

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Honestly either early in the morning right after I wake up or middle of the night lmao. Middle of the night has given me some of my best writing for real but at what cost

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don't like to say never on any tropes because I think with the right idea any trope can be done well. Some things that I tend to stay away from are heavy mental health fix it style stories because 1) I don't feel qualified enough to write that well and 2) I don't find them super interesting usually. Exploring darker storylines is always more fun for me, or mayyyybe the occasional fluffy romance lol

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

For fanfiction based on someone else's intellectual property, no, because there are legal issues there. For writing in general maybe, but I don't see a huge market for that

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Way too much time

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

Occasionally! Maybe Sleigh Bells Ring for a favorite. Most of the holiday pieces I've written have been very fluffy lol

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

It's a mix. Usually seat of my pants, but if I have a lot of details worked out in my brain already then I'll outline

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I have a TBOSAS piece that I'm working on where Coriolanus's punishment after cheating in the Games is to be sold as a sex worker (similar to how Finnick was in THG series) rather than being forced to enlist with the peacekeepers and he ends up with Strabo Plinth as a client.......

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I cannot recommend enough just... doing it. Everyone worries so much about it not being good enough, but just like every other skill, you'll never get better without practice and just doing the damn thing over and over again.

Also read a lot. Read fanfic and actual books. You pick up a lot of things as a writer when you're reading other people's work. Sometimes you'll see certain ways of writing dialogue or inner monologues that you love and want to incorporate into your own writing. Sometimes you'll see things that pull you out of the story or don't flow well, and you'll learn that it's something you don't want to include in your writing. All of it is useful.

And MOST importantly, please please please learn how to properly format your dialogue 😭 (this is just a pet peeve of mine, but SO MANY fics don't have proper dialogue formatting)

ex: "This is the correct way to format a spoken sentence," she said sternly. "When you write a spoken sentence followed by a dialogue tag, the dialogue tag is PART of the sentence, so you should end the 'spoken sentence' with a comma, and then add the dialogue tag (starting with a lower case letter if it's not a proper noun), and then the sentence ends."

"This is correct too!" she exclaimed.

"This is also correct," she explained, "because the dialogue sentence hasn't ended, it was just interrupted. When dialogue is interrupted, but the sentence hasn't ended, the dialogue tag is surrounded by commas, indicating a whole, ongoing sentence."

INCORRECT EXAMPLES:

"This is not the correct way to format a spoken sentence." She said, crying a little bit on the inside.

"Neither is this!" She exclaimed.

"And neither is this." she sighed, rubbing at her temples as intentionally writing dialogue incorrectly began to trigger a headache.

💞 Who's your comfort character?

For Hamilton/Amrev, it's probably Hamilton. Sorry, basic bitch answer.

For TBOSAS it's Sejanus <3

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

A snippet from the TBOSAS AU with Coriolanus and Strabo Plinth that I mentioned above 🙈

But fighting? Fleeing? He thought back to the arena. The way his heart had pounded as he smashed at Bobbin until he laid unmoving on the ground.  He refused to let that sort of response control him again. He was better than base instincts. Especially here. This wasn’t life or death. All he had to do was play things smart, and he would come out on top again eventually.  And then everyone who ever tried to make him feel small would pay. 

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Literally any of the smut lmfao.

But specifically the Henry Laurens/Alexander Hamilton fucked up intern AU, Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind, and A Royal Affair are probably all up there for top contenders

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Highly dependent on a lot of different variables (what I'm writing/whether it requires research/what else is going on in my life/level of motivation and focus/etc). Anywhere from a couple of hours to a month lmao

[thehuntyhunties]

Hiiii I've been binging through some of your tags and I wanted to share some ✨thoughts✨

In your TNG tag you had this one post (I think it was a reblog) where it was like "If my character has sharp pupils like a cat then imagine when they get excited their pupils blow up" and I am just imagining,,, that Gon does something to really fluster Killua like an embarrassing compliment and Killua being flustered is even more obvious with his pupils taking up 80% of his eyes hehe

And with Sk8 au I saw you say somewhere that you weren't really sure how to connect Kurapika in it and maybe you've gotten more ideas since then but I was thinking that since you said Kurapika is a good cosplayer and Nanika/Alluka have their crafting business going on maybe Kurapika could hire them for something they can't make themselves and contact is established somehow that way?

Also I love your ghost hunter au very very much I think it is my favorite one, thank you very much for your delightful ideas

Oh gosh, thank you! and also, sorry this ask is uhhhh [counts on my fingers] almost 5 months late, i think ^^;

re: TNG AU thoughts, hehehe yesss sometimes Killua's eyes can definitely be a tell :3c Although his eyes don't behave like Earth-creature eyes, the structure is all different, so even with some similar behaviors it's not always obvious. Thankfully Gon learns how to recognize the patterns pretty quickly hahaha

oh man Sk8 AU! I haven't thought about that for a hot minute. it's funny, but your idea about Kurapika is very similar to his role in another, older AU of mine that i'm not sure i talked about much on tumblr (I was already beginning to move on from it a little by the time i made this sideblog). It's wild how that kind of thing happens! Sk8!Kurapika used to be really intense but i think that's largely been shunted into my noir mystery idea (it's a better setting for that anyways) so maybe cosplayer is the solution 🤔 although these days sk8 AU has just become the kallushi power hour lmao i gotta revamp the rest at some point 😅

I'm so glad you love ghost hunter AU!! It's my favorite too ;;w;; Thank you so much!!!!

[ljbrary]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @anxiety-banana HEY AB ILY I'M SORRY I KNOW YOU TAGGED ME IN THIS A MONTH AGO SO THIS IS SO LATE BUT STILL

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

101,550

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now ive been writing for the last of us but most of my fics are star wars (specifically most of them are the clone wars) and i have one six of crows fic

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

all of them are star wars fics

lean on me (but let me laugh, first)

don't fix it if it's not broken (but broken's only a point of view)

fill the hollow space with silence (and other words of comfort that aren't so comforting)

it's a process (you wouldn't understand)

it's not good grief (but it's better)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i think i get to most of them and i seriously try my best to but like i struggle with replying to even my texts irl and i have no concept of time at all (the adhd is adhd-ing unfortunately) but every single one literally makes my life

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think either the love only lasts so long (the grief lasts longer, the guilt never leaves) or this silence hurts worse than the truth (if only you would tell it) which are quite literally the same exact situation just from different povs because i have never had an original thought in my life. it's post-mortis arc in the clone wars with anakin and ahsoka and the transparently trauma-shaped elephant in the room between them.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i honestly have no idea? so im just going to say my tlou fic statistically significant because although its bittersweet it ends with joel and ellie together and thats literally all i need to be happy at this point in my life.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, but i probably should.

(that was a joke. but like if i did its fine bc i have 3 brothers who've already found my ao3 and bullied me for it so the hater would prob need to get real creative after all that lmao.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no i dont have the executive functioning skills necessary to plan one of those out but they sound interesting.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

guys my fics aren't that good. if someone stole it they'd just return it no worries.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no i haven't but that would be sick.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

like ab said in her post, ab, ash, and i tried but it just never came to fruition but it was a fun attempt

also my older brother and i when we were younger tried to write a percy jackson fic together.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i like found family more than romantic stuff, but if i have to choose definitely percabeth because they are the reason i have unrealistic expectations in life.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ALL OF THEM IM SO BAD AT FINISHING THEM

16. What are your writing strengths?

thats so funny lmfao

okay but self deprecation aside idk maybe like imagery or metaphors sometimes? also apparently writing emotion ig? my english teacher in high school told me i was good at the psychological aspect of understanding a character and their actions/emotions but i don't know man

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

for starters, starting. im supremely bad at starting things. i always struggle with intros/the beginning of writing pieces. and i struggle with plotting/planning things. i also am incapable of writing genuine dialogue, every conversation i write sounds so disjointed and awkward. i also tend to focus too much on the introspective aspect of characters and forget about that irrelevant little thing called a "plot."

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i made up my own language for a few star wars fics and it was so atrocious that i can't even bring myself to reread them again so i think i'll be staying away from that one for a little while.

however if i was smart or savvy enough to pull it off i would totally do it that would be sick.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson when i was 10 years old on wattpad. my older brother and i co-wrote the fic and then i made my friend at school edit it on the computers in the library. still have yet to live that one down.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) i have a soft spot for it even though it's one of my least popular fics in terms of like hits and kudos. its just a found family (shocker, i know) modern/foster care au with rex and ahsoka. i like the imagery, metaphors, and just the vibes overall.

okay leaving this open to anyone who wants to do it!!

[junkyardromeo]

Hi! It's your Secret Santa again 🎅.

How are you? I'm glad there's only 2 days left of my workweek. Adulting sucks sometimes lol.

Ooh, finals week. I remember those, definitely a hectic time. I'm sorry to hear about history. I struggled alot in biology. Made like ds and fs on all the tests. Then miraculously made an a on the final. Kinda saved my grade. Maybe you'll get lucky in history too 🤞.

I love guitar music. Alot of people in my family play guitar, so I grew up listening to alot of great guitar playing. I think you sounded really good in the videos, and I bet you sound just as good when you're sober too.

Thats awesome you've been in a band and play solo too! What kind of places do you play at? Do you ever get nervous about it?

Yeah, college definitely isn't for everyone. Do you know what you might want to do if you decide not to go the college route?

I read some of your poetry! One of my favorites was this one... it didn't have a title so I just copied the beginning of it: "somewhere in south carolina there is a dying boy sitting". What inspires you most when writing poetry?

I would love to see your photography! Is it posted on your blog as well?

I see you have alot of Dukes of Hazard pics on your blog. Is that one of your favorite shows? I'll admit, I've never seen it before, and don't really know much about it. So I'm curious, what are some of your favorite things about that show and what draws you to it?

I hope you have an amazing night tonight and a wonderful day tomorrow!

Until next time!

i'm doing pretty good, just turned in a final paper for philosophy. a little hungover lmao, me n the boys got a little crazy last night. crossed while watching fight club is INSANE.

as far as where i play: parties, bars, church, funerals, you name it, i've probably played it. any old place will do.

im gonna be so real i've always said that if life don't work out i'll be a trucker. already know how to drive a rig pretty good—i been driving bigass trailers n hauling shit around the hunt club since i was old enough to drive. n by old enough to drive, i mean old enough to reach the pedals.

i'm so glad u like my poems! really im mostly just inspired by the world around me n my own experiences. also, i'd forgot about the one you mentioned n goddamn that hit different rn.

some of my photography is on here, yeah. tag is my photos.

lmaooo yeah i been on the dukes BAD lately. watched it growing up bc they played reruns on tvland and my parents liked it. i don't remember why i started watching it again but im glad i did bc its rly fun n takes my mind off all the big pressing shit i have going on. bottom line abt me n that is: im from the south, i like cars, n i don't like the cops. the whole thing is just fighting the system (any system) n driving like hell. whats not to love fr

you have a good day too!

[artekai]

There's been so much negativity online lately so feel free to use as an excuse to gush about your mutuals and anything they do. Whether it be art, writing, crafts, being a little cutie, making you laugh, making ocs that you love so much you basically adopt them, making a hella good grilled cheese, anything really. I've been sending this to a handful people and it's been so nice reading all the things people have to say. Btw feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna do it but at the same, if you want to you could send this to someone else and spread it more, you could do that too. The possibilities are endless.

As a little starter/something I've wanted to say for quite a while now: I really really love Artekai. He's somehow a sweetheart and a little shit at the same time and I just deeply resonate with this weirdly wholesome yet chaotic energy he gives off. He's incredible. 10/10. Would give a big old hug and smooch on the cheek.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anon this is SO SO SWEET 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 It's so nice of you to take this initiative!!! I really appreciate it!! :') <3

And that's so??? That's so great to hear??? I'm always SO SO HAPPY to hear when other people enjoy Artekai T-T

"Somehow a sweetheart and a little shit at the same time" is RIGHT!! Kai's very transparent about his emotions, whether positive or negative, and he also does have kind of a big ego, but he's determined to use it for good, so that's certainly one of the combinations of all time, haha! He's one of those OCs that basically develop themselves, and I'm very proud of him :') Kai would definitely appreciate your hug and smooch a lot. Thank you SO so much and I hope you continue to enjoy him! <333

Okay... so it's my turn to gush about my mutuals... I'm just gonna do it on this post bc I'm embarrassed (//ω//) I have definitely said these things before though, so if I'm getting too repetitive, please ignore me, I just can't pass this up :')

@woolmasterleel Hi yes I would like to nominate you for Great Art and Great Writing and Great OCs thank you! You already know how much I love Kisaki but your OCs are all so creative and so interesting and have such cool designs! And you're also such a sweet and encouraging person??? And a chemist??? PLEASE leave some talent for the rest of us ;-; I think we should talk more, if you want? 👉👈

@akeshuharu You are SUCH a sweet and lovely person and have such good takes, not just about P5R but about things in general, I LOVE seeing you on my dash, and your enthusiasm about your interests is so contagious!! I do very much enjoy seeing your cats or your pics or hearing about what you've been up to or about your interests... Thank you for the chance to brainstorm my silly AUs with you 🥺 I really do wanna talk to you more but I'm just bad at initiating conversation ;-;

@aceredshirt13 Hi, I hope you don't mind tagging you here! I really appreciate you and our talks about P4 ^^ You have such good takes about Adachi and about fandom, and talking about headcanons or developing AUs with you (whether serious ones or crack ones lmao) is so much fun! Thank you for your patience <3 Sometimes I think about how this all started just because I reblogged your post about Adachi and ranted in the tags and I think... wow, I'm so lucky, haha.

@nicxan I know I sound like a broken record, but I really DO love your fics! :D You're also a really nice person and the way you see Takuto is just *chef's kiss.* You have such good concepts, I love seeing everything you put him through and how you characterize him, and how he breaks down as a result, hehehe. I wanna talk to you more too, but I'm very awkward and don't know what to talk about :')

@almightyrozenidiot It’s really nice to see you in my notifs, especially your comments on my posts, haha, they’re always fun/sweet! And I’m very curious about your OCs too! I know we don’t talk much, but I do want to get to know you better, if that’s okay with you ^^

Anyways, sorry to everyone for being so sappy all the time, I literally can't help it T-T It's kinda hard to show someone how much you appreciate them over the internet, unless you say it directly ;-;

And of course, thank you for the ask, anon, this is all very very sweet T-T

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Waking up and finding you on your period | FKBU Headcanons 』

Characters: female!reader, Kambe Daisuke, Kato Haru

Tags/warnings: Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited (anime), 15+, mild sexual references, fluff, so much fluff, teensy bit of a daddy kink implied for Daisuke, bit of breeding link implied for Haru *COUGH*

⚠️ 15+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Guess who came on her period and was in dire need of some comfort from her best boys? That's right. Me. So I freaking wrote it. Here you go.

Despite the tags, it's like, 95% fluff, and even the sex is fluffy, and it's not even described. This is just pure wholesomeness. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy! Imo~

Kambe Daisuke

At first, when Daisuke sees the blood in the bed, he thinks you might be injured and worriedly wakes you up, asking if you're hurt with his hair down because he's been sleeping

As you wake, you feel the crushing pangs in your abdomen and shake your head

"That's not is," you say, embarrassed about the amount of blood staining the sheets

"I see," he says, deducing that you must have got your period in the night

He sounds as calm as ever, but he's actually genuinely relieved you haven't injured yourself

But he can see that you're in pain and he hates it serious daddy vibes

He carefully picks you up and carries you to the ensuite bathroom princess style, baby

"I'm sorry," you whimper into his chest

"There is nothing to be sorry for," he says firmly

His voice rumbles in your ears that deep, sultry voice, omg

When you reluctantly ask him if he's grossed out, he gives you a blank look

"Why should I be?" he asks. "It's perfectly natural."

"Yeah, but…"

He senses that you've experienced unpleasant situations with boyfriends in the past and can't help but feel fiercely protective and angered that they hurt you like that

"Any man who is 'grossed out' – as you put it – by something like this," he continues, entirely seriously, "does not deserve to be called a man."

He sits with you and helps you clean yourself as he draws the bath for you, having got his servants to fetch pain killers, sanitary products, and clear up the mess in the bedroom

You keep apologising for ruining the incredibly expensive, luxury bedding like so expensive, you want to die

But Daisuke keeps telling you not to worry about it, insisting that it can easily be replaced

He's literally already got HEUSC to order some new stuff

After you're clean, he helps you into the bath and gets in with you, sitting you between his legs, his arms around your body, and pulls you back against his chest

He insists you use all your favourite scents and products, planting little kisses on your neck and shoulders as he caresses the bubbles over your skin

He helps you get dressed into some of his comfy, oversized clothes and sits you down on the sofa he bought some after he wore Haru's, lmao

Come to the comfy side, we have hot guys

You grab hold of the back of his shirt when he turns to leave

When you ask him to stay with you, he immediately has tells HEUSC to clear his schedule for the day, calling in sick for work so he can do just that he must look after his princess

He can never say no to you

Hoodies and sweatpants all round

He has his chef make all your favourite foods and orders in whatever chocolates and treats you want

He even purchases a giant, expensive teddy with same-day delivery when you showed even the slightest interest in it we're talking a 2 metre plus bear, here

You spend the day curled up next to him in a cosy room, watching whatever movies, TV shows, K dramas, etc. you want

He probably has a cinema room in his house, okay? Don't @ me

Lots of cuddles and spooning hnng

He ignores any sexual urges he gets if he knows you're not in the mood

When you say you want a massage, he immediately goes to get HEUSC to call his private masseuse

When you ask him to do it instead, he's caught off guard and doesn't really have any idea what to do

He's hesitant and nervous, worried he might hurt you

But he eventually gets the idea, and feels proud of himself when you say it's helped relieve your cramps a little

Lots of hair stroking and back rubs

While you're asleep on his lap, he researches into dealing with period pain

He hates that his money can't buy you out of your pain entirely, but he's going to do the absolute best he can this sweet man, I can't

He makes sure he orders all sorts of high quality products, like super expensive heat pads, magnets, the best quality pads and tampons etc. so he's properly prepared next time best boy

While looking this stuff up, he reads that orgasms and sometimes even penetrative sex can help relieve cramps and pain, and immediately starts looking up how to go about it

When you wake up, he gets you some water and goes to ask you about what he read, but ends up a little too shy to, and vows to himself to bring it up next time

Which he does and it's adorable and hot at the same time??

And he really goes all out, focusing on you completely

You're glowing afterwards as you come down from your high, and he rests his forehead on yours

I'm dying, this is so cute. Why can't this be real?!?

Kato Haru

You wake up first, feeling your stomach sink at the all too familiar sensation of blood between your legs

You nervously turn to Haru and wake him up, but can't manage to get the words out

Haru knows exactly what's happened as soon as he sees it

He gives you a hug and a kiss and tells you it's okay, and to get out of the bed

He fetches you pain killers and hurries out to the convenience store to buy any other products you need

A range of different pads, tampons, a hot water bottle, more over-the-counter pain killers and medication, chocolate it's necessary, okay? Haru knows what's up

It's dishearteningly early in the morning and still dark out brave boy, best boy

He returns with the items as quickly as possible, smelling of a fresh, crisp morning, still panting a little from hurrying to get back to you I freaking can't, it's too cute

He starts cleaning the sheets as best he can, soaking them in the tub while you clean yourself up in the bathroom

He also prepares a quick meal or two for you in advance because he knows you'll feel too awful to do anything yourself today he's so knowledgeable and practical

#boyfriend material

Lots of small smiles, hugs, and forehead kisses to remind you that he's not mad, because he knows you're worrying about it

When you're all clean and the bedding is changed, he puts you back to bed with a hot water bottle and a blanket, kissing your forehead

He has to get ready for work

You want him to stay, but you know how strong his sense of duty is, and don't want to put him in the position where he has to choose

He kisses you softly before he leaves, saying he'll call you later on his break

You spend the whole day missing him while enjoying the food he lovingly prepared

You wait with your phone by you, watching the clock

When he calls and you hear his voice come though on the other end of the line, you sink under a wave of relief and finally start to relax

He asks you how you are, if you've been eating, tells you to eat that particular food you always leave, because it's good for you, damn it, and reminds you where things are in case you might need them, etc.

He says he loves you soft boi

You can hear Kamei in the background, poking fun at Haru – who pointedly reminds him who has a girlfriend and who doesn't rip Kamei

Daisuke's voice briefly drifts down the line, and Haru says he has to go

He says he loves you again, and you say it back

When he hangs up, it's suddenly very empty in the apartment

You hug a pillow all afternoon in place of him

It's late when he gets back, laden with groceries, the ingredients for your favourite meal, and a bouquet of small, pretty-looking flowers from the supermarket

You're immediately feeling better now that he's home, getting some colour back in your cheeks

You watch him cook up a storm in the kitchen he's so hot when he cooks, I can't

You always love his food, but it tastes so much better now that he's with you

After eating, you curl up together and watch TV

Lots of goofy grins and raspberries on your neck and tummy – anything to make you laugh and smile again

When you finally laugh, he leans in and says, "There it is."

Spooning yes, both of them

I like spooning, shut up

He can't help but get hard, and he apologises bashfully when you notice

You tell him it's okay wink wonk

He grins

"You know, I think I have a remedy for this affliction of yours," he says, nuzzling your neck with his nose

"Oh yeah? What's that?" you ask sceptically, sensing something mischievous is afoot

"I could always put a baby in you, free of charge," he says, only half joking as he nibbles on your earlobe getting steamyyy

"Babe, we're broke," you say, breaking out into a giggle

But you get down to it anyway because he freaking loves you and knows that you needs to be reminded of it right now

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[everysongineverykey]

interview with a fanfic author tag game!

this game was originally posted by @/goldenavenger02, so i've been told, and i was tagged by @neitherlightnordark ! thanks💙 i'll be honest, i haven't properly written fanfic in a long while- the knitting circle thing and last night's seam thing were brought on by a surge of deltarune-induced inspiration. i'm honored to be considered a fanfic author, though <3 this got, uh, REALLY long as well. i just don't talk about this stuff much! it's fun, i've decided!

1. your favorite fic that you've written, or just one you want to give a shoutout to

uhhh lemme try to remember some of my old fics lol,,,, the problem is that i wrote a lot of fanfic back like a year or so ago for a completely different fandom than utdr (kotlc), and most of my current followers would not know or care about it djdjdjdsjs, but for what it's worth, i'm really proud of the lancer+rouxls+ralsei knitting thing i did like a few days ago. that one started as a simple headcanon about them knitting together, and snowballed as soon as i'd written the first line. i'm also very proud of last night's seam fanfic💙 i can't embed links here but i've rbed it a couple times today cause i really like it so just scroll down my blog a bit if you wanna read it. it's not titled, none of my fics are, but you'll know when you see it cause it's the only recent post of mine that has proper capitalization lol

i'm also very proud of some of my very old kotlc fics. particularly the one about sophie and music. almost no one reading this will get it lmao

2. your favorite fic title that you've come up with?

uhhh i don't really do fic titles lmao. the thing is, i'm bad at plot and conflict, so most of my fics are super vignette-y and don't really have anything that would sound good as a title

3. how do you get inspiration to write?

i don't <3 but seriously, like i said before, i haven't properly written in ages. i think if i'm passionate enough about something, and i have faith in myself to do the characters justice, i can end up churning out vignette-style fics that mostly just muse on a character, or two characters. like the seam thing was born out of my myriad of inexplicable feelings about seam and the seam-is-toriel's-plushie theory. i just really wanted to show my love for it! and there's already like. basically no seam-tent out there so we can always use more💙

some fandoms i feel are far too big for me to write about- like star trek, for instance. i posted about that a lot a while back, and i wanted to write for it officially, but i was always worried i'd missed an episode that would contradict what i said. deltarune and undertale and kotlc are easier. they're small, contained universes that i can be sure i know all about.

4. your favorite genre/subgenre of fic to write

uhhh i don't know if i have one! i mostly write character-focused vignette-style fics that don't have much of a plot, so i don't write many of the popular aus (coffee shop, mafia, etc)

5. do you have any other hobbies?

not really <3 i have INTERESTS of course. but things i enjoy doing? nah :) i dabble in piano though. i can play once upon a time and fallen down💙

6. pick one character to self-project onto, go!

ooh... alphys, kris, or queen? gah, which one? i gotta give you those three lol sorry they're all just so. just SO. like. with kris it's just socially awkward closed-off nby teenager solidarity <3 and with alphys it's oh my god self-loathing nerd who constantly worries their friends hate them and who gets really really excited about their interests?? same hat!! and queen's a similar situation to data from star trek. i've been thinking a lot lately about her potential inability to understand other people and social situations and many of the finer points in life (romance, etc) and as an autistic person. yeah <3

7. your favorite genre of music.

ooh! i don't know! i mostly listen to upbeat stuff- i don't like most slow songs. of course, lately it's just been the dr chapter 2 soundtrack on loop. i am so normal about cyber battle and a cyber's world and attack of the killer queen i am the NORMALEST

8. your favorite singer/band.

... uh. hm. queen, marina, mika, or good old toby fox? all of those people. i would like to listen to more things besides dr stuff but i don't have as much time lately. the aboves are some of my all-time favorites, though!

9. and finally, how has your experience with fandom been?

really really good! i know all fandoms have toxic people in it and i've definitely seen more misgendering of the utdr humans than i care to. but i generally just block anyone who does that and surround myself with fun people <3

this was fun! it ended up being very long. but fun! tagging @cadence-talle , a very talented writer💙

[lebrookestore]

I'm glad I was of help, I can completely relate to getting hyper fixated on something related to school (which sometimes has been just having to go back to school after a 2 day holiday) and feeling like my life will be forever ruined when I have to finally face the school related situation but nothing actually ends up happening

In my case I don't really cry but I end up feeling pretty uncomfy and sick(sometimes puke) with all the anxiety, and similar stuff is the case for a lot of my friends which is just really sad :(, it's just a mixture of asshole parents/relatives that we will forever end up defending because it's just ingrained in our mind to defend adults and people who'll say school performance doesn't matter when we panic but then get inredibly upset when something goes slightly wrong (ie passive aggresive bitches :cough: teachers :cough: parents) what makes me feel grounded these days though is my brother who's a decade older than me and he seems to be living pretty satisfactorily despite being not being the best at school and recieving the same shitty remarks from my mom as I do, he has good friends, enjoys video games like he did when he was my age but still is also a responsible adult which makes me realise how insignificant all of this is and I'm more than capable of getting through it, all of us are

these set of exams I have prob done my best job avoiding the anxiety and I'm happy that I have and I assure you they will be barely an eighth of the difficulty of a typical written exam, most kids will do good and if you've done most of the prep already you'll barely have to do any revision, after you give the first one you'll prob get what I mean

as for my username, I changed it to the one I use on other social media because yes it's hard to remember (literally a keyboard smash because I didn't think I would be using Tumblr often when I made the account)

these are the sample paper links

https://cisce.org/publicationdetail.aspx?id=96

http://cbseacademic.nic.in/SQP_CLASSX_2021-22.html

(idk why writing asks on the web version doesn't allow links), these are how your forms are going to be because they are the official ones(well depending on whatever board your school is under)

and ik how exciting it is to wait for exams to get over so you can do something creative you're into, for me it's drawing and I have so many fanart ideas with all these comebacks and my new flaming passion for resident evil (idk how this happened), let's get this bread!

also, I too, am an averagewelcome to the playground enjoyer (｡•̀ᴗ-)

good night!

#fuck school

this ended up being quite a long answer but i actually enjoyed answering it!! the answer is under the cut hehe

gosh i get hyperfixated on every little thing like today school sent out a revised time table?? with new dates for the exam??? when our exams were supposed to start on thursday this week?? which would be fine tbh its extra four days to study but at the same time i was mentally prepared for the exam on thursday yk?? and now math is my last paper yall-

my anxiety gets triggered like that too!! i tend to get panic attacks or sort of blank out in stress because im so anxious and then it refrains me from functioning like a normal human being😭 i just sort of short circuit and then pray for the best lmao, and yes!!! i totally get the need to defend your parents/adults because they are at a level of superiority to you?? its like some sort of twisted duty?? honestly good for your brother, and I'm glad you have an example of the sort!!!

unfortunately im complete opposite this is the exam i am the most stressed out and anxious about rip💀💀but honestly that confirmation you've given me as someone who has gone through it is really comforting, mine start on Monday and i am in full on study mode

!! i didn't mean you had to change your username bby i just meant you could have given me a nickname for the tags but if you're more comfortable with this one that's great!! i think its cute<33

AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR THOSE SAMPLER PAPERS YOU ACTUAL ANGEL ✨✨✨ I SHALL TAG THIS FOR RESOURCES FOR LATER

i am actually always on the web oversio nf tumblr for the most part because my asian parents refuse to let me have control over anything and have put a timer on my phone so that it konks off the moment an hour is up🤡😭 the life of an indian student 💔💔

and omg you do fanart??? is that where the suggestion of people doing fanart for my fics for my milestone event came from?? in that case i would absolutely love to see what you'd create taking inspiration from my fics but don't feel pressured to do so!! and you have a flaming passion for resident evil, while mine lies with genshin lmao

📢WELCOME TO MY PLAYGROUND SUPREMACY 📢

good night! I'm sorry i answered this so late i was studying all day rip, but thank you for this ask it was a lot of fun, I'm going to study a little more before i go to bed and yes #fuck school

[caspianking]

Things I like RP Partners to Know

Tagged by: @trishelle <3 <3

Tagging: @liyeraaurel @likazo-tia @astrolevitation @ffxiv-angora @sharlayanwanderer and anyone else!! (Disregard if you've done it already <3 Also, sorry if I missed tagging someone, I'm so awful at remembering @ )

I like to be called: Kudos! For the most part anyways! I also don't mind being called Cas/Caspian if people remember that a little easier~ Honestly, you could call me Dumbass and I'd still respond. I typically say I prefer They/Them, but I'm happy with any pronouns! The joys of genderfluidity~

One thing (or several) you should know about me: I'm scatterbrained and very forgetful! Also generally introverted, so I definitely need to be poked if someone wants something, or for rp usually ^-^ I'm trying to get better at that! But that said, considering I forget to reply to shit and all that jazz, I 100% don't expect immediate replies. I'm on discord basically always, if I'm not passed tf out...

Caspian is a generally... emotional character, with some anger sprinkled in there for s p i c e. I promise, all IC opinions and actions are just that: IC. I don't generally feel how he does, and if he hates someone, I probably love them!! He's also just got some Issues(tm), so take him with a grain of salt!

I appreciate if people tell me if they don't like something. If you're bored, or you think that something isn't working, let me know! I won't get mad, and if it's kept a secret, chances are I'll pick up on the vibe and just get anxious :P

I love getting approached for new rp and things. As I stated earlier, I'm mostly shy about going to see new people and asking for rp in general, so I super appreciate people taking the step! I'm working on branching out, but it's super nice to not have to psych myself up for talking to New People First LMAO

I sometimes have a hard time writing big posts, so I don't mind getting short ones! No judgement here. If the rp is fun, I really don't care!

One thing (Or several) you should know about my muses: As stated previously, Caspian is a bit of a mess. He's stubborn, loud-mouthed, opinionated and highly protective of his family. He has his issues, related to his trauma, but he is generally charming to most people when meeting them. He likes to flirt and tease, and isn't very reserved. Usually.

Lately, with IC events, he's a little more careful about his outbursts and interactions, but if he's a little shit... weeeeeell... You've been warned! Mostly, he just needs a nap and probably many therapy sessions. Maybe one (1) pat on the head.

I have other muses, if you care to ask about them! I'm a bit of an altoholic, what can I say? But feel free to ask me about them or Cas, I'm super happy to talk about them...

First language: English (I also speak french!)

HIGHLIGHT: Carrd | Also Seli's Carrd and Rin's Carrd

Age range: 22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ |  70+ (I am 23, so I'd ask that both rp partner and character be over 18 at least, just to avoid any issues <3)

Am I okay with NSFW?: yes | no | some nsfw (It would have to be discussed!)

My favorite/most common thing to rp is: angst | fluff | smut | crack | action | plots | AUs | violence | slice of life | performances

Darker themes? yes | no | depends

Canon OC friendly?: yes | no | depends

RP blog: does contain ooc posts | doesn’t contain ooc posts | occasionally contains ooc | aesthetic

Final Thoughts: I'm still relatively new to the MMO rp world, but I'm getting comfier! Learning what's cool and what not. As long as people are patient, we good! I'm here for fun times, and for my partners to have fun times, so as long as that's happening then I'm happy! That's generally my only "rule". All this to say, I'm really excited to meet new people :)

[wayward-writers]

I am so so SO glad you (and other people!) liked my angel headcanon men of letters thing! It took me awhile and I've never gotten actual feedback on a post before. It makes me so happy you have no idea. I might end up trying to a similar thing on demons or something but I don't know if I will or not.

Anyways, I was thinking (and by that I mean reading fanfic) about sam and cas and I think that the show missed out on having more scenes with them. They're dynamic is glorious and I've seen so many good post about the chaos duo. Now I love destiel as much as the next person, but this is an underdeveloped pair in my humble opinion. I think that we could have had a bunch more great friendships if people, ya know, stayed alive for more that fIVE MINUTES. Just imagine, crowley and balthazar gossiping, jack and Charlie talking star wars, gabriel and dean actually bonding over pranking sam! Now realizing this is a mini rant but I already typed it out so. Yeah, just so many missed opportunities that I hope we get a taste of? Maybe?

[Your weekly (has it been weekly? Idk) headcanon: Jody had called up the boys for help with a vampire case up in Nebraska and Dean had quickly offered to drive up and help her with it and Jack wanted to tag along. Leaving Cas and Sam in the bunker. Alone. Unfortunately Dean had not yet caught on to the duo's chaotic habits. What happened this time you ask? Books. It doesn't sound to bad at first. But then when they go from talking about the ethics of jurassic park to the presentation of religion with evil and good undertones in good omens. The discussions get interesting. And as always, chaotic. If anyone can somehow use Jaws to somehow come up with a plan to kill God, it's those two.]

(Wow this ask is kinda long, sorry about that. It's just a bunch of me writing to the void and the void happens to respond. Its pretty cool. I hope you're having a great day!)

P.s- is there any metaphysics you need ideas for? It gives me something to write about and it might give you help/answers.

💙💙💙

You definitely should do one on demons! (No pressure tho, it's up to you!) We all really enjoyed your post, and I was honestly so impressed by it!

Yes I definitely agree! There are SO many dynamics that would have been super epic to explore, and we will definitely be trying to develop them more! (All the ones you suggested are great!)

(I think you've been weekly, we’re just late a lot of the time!) PLEASE. Honestly you should write fanfic. All your little scene ideas are awesome, and I would totally read them! But lmao Sam and Cas left alone would be such a funny disaster. Imagine them trying to cook.

And you’re fine! We always appreciate asks, no matter the length. And you too! (Even though it's now days later.)

And uhhhhh. You may hate me for this. But do you have any ideas on where a soulless person goes when they die? If you have no idea, that's completely fine lol, no judgment here. (Except towards the SPN writers because.....yeah.)

Thank you for the ask!

[ultrahamilham]

You tagged me in a thing and I had a stroke, bless you

I get all Pikachu meme whenever I see you in my dash and you've referred to me and acknowledged my existence because it is literally the best thing ever, I have a mini stroke every time

Three ships: Jamilton, Jamilams and Jamilmads (would've said lams but then it just sounds like I'm saying the same ship in three different ways lol)

Last song: Uhh, I don't listen to music much, but Ultimately by Khai dreams

Last movie: The Hunchback of Notre dame

Currently craving: Sushi, oddly enough (I haven't had it in about nine years but still, want)

Currently reading: The Da Vinci code, and about five different fanfictions

About a very late answer to your question (My family has COVID, which is shocking to hear, or so I'm told, but they're recovering and they fortunately had a mild case and no one has any history of disease so they're going to be okay! That's what the doctor said and I'm praying), Taco hell made me laugh really hard when I read it and really lifted my spirits because I remember being in not a great place when I started it but it made me smile which was like, a thing for me, and don't judge me but I think The three way was probably my favourite and I don't want to think about what that says about me but it was really because I love works that are that long (around 50k is always my sweet spot). I'm not sure if I'm remembering right and I'm so so sorry if I'm getting the title song wrong but that one Jamilton fic with uh, Gucci and fendi in the title was really fun to read ;-;

I also remeber the first work of yours I ever read was this comfort Whamilton around 1.5 or 2k where it starts raining and Alexander is on edge but George comforts him- Okay, I'm ranting now, apologies. ;-; (idk You're super cool and I want to talk to you like, normally, but you'll hateee me and I don't want that and so here)

I never really get a chance to respond as soon as I'd like, BUT I never get to and if you don't want to know/care about my life- please skip to the next paragraph thank you. So, I did end up watching Snowpiercer! I watched all ten episodes in one day which is iffy to say the least, but I'm still alive! I did love it. And I've been alright- a bit anxious with everything, but I've been giving my tests and uni and stuff. Yesterday, I was about to go to the vet when u realised about two minutes into the ride that I forgot my dog so that was embarrassing. Almost competing with the time I dropped my phone and then followed it, dropping to my knees and immediately bursting into tears (Nothing even happened to my phone!). So if you read this, thank you again.

I wanted to ask how you were doing too! If you don't mind xxx

And as for the fanfic writer asks, would you mind answering 50 ;-;

Wgjfvqkcwkh also I heard about you and Henni getting married so CONGRATULATIONS that is the most amazing, sweetest thing and in honestly so f*cking happy for both of you. I audibly awwed when I saw that post and I can't believe I just remembered.

I'm so sorry this got out of hand with how long it is, I didn't mean for it to be ;-;

-shy anon, sincerely apologising for possibly ruining your day by oversharing and/or overstepping (also with love and congratulations for you and her)

I get the surprised pikachu face whenever you show up in my ask box ;-; It always makes me happy!!!

Okay but sushi is always good. The craving comes randomly for me as well. I didn’t crave it at all when I used to make it for a living, because I got so tired of it, but now I crave it every once in a while lol it’s really good ;-;

I really hope everyone is doing okay! COVID is scary and it’s no joke. Having it before was horrible for me and I would never wish it on anyone. I hope everyone including you is okay ;-;

I’m glad Taco Hell did what I was meaning for it to do! It’s meant to be lighthearted and make people laugh. It’s based off of my life and it’s actual situations I end up in all the time. It’s quite amusing lol

I would never judge you. The Three Way is literally the one fic I am most proud of. I could never judge you. I literally go back and read it every once in a while and go like ���I made that... Holy fuck...”

Oh! Gucci Not Fendi is the title. I’m glad you liked it!!!

Rant all you want! I adore that Whamilton fic ;-;

Seriously, my dear, I can promise you that I won’t hate you at all. Believe me, I really won’t. I’m probably the most awkward and annoying person anyone will ever know and I overshare like everything. People know more about me than they really should.. Lol

I care about your life, I was the one that asked you to tell me! But honestly, snowpiercer was soooo good... Like I tried to binge it all in one day but I was trying to write as well and it didn’t go over well lmao, snowpiercer ended up winning! I’m really glad you watched it!!!

That whole forgetting your dog thing is a mood. Today I forgot to turn on the food heaters and I realized it right before it was too late. Almost lost $200 worth of meat... Oops... Lmao

I do that with my phone if I drop it even if it’s okay. I just freak the fuck out and cry before I know if there really is an issue

Also I’m doing good! I decided to just lay back and relax tonight so I’m having a few drinks and I’m gonna watch random shit lol I was up for 33 hours the night before last and slept for 15 hours after. I can’t recommend doing that, especially not when you’re like 24. I’m too old for that shit.

Hell yeah I can do 50! I will give you a sneak peak at the 3rd part of the three way... .-. It will be posted on Oct 19th!!!

Here it is. This is seriously NSFW lol:

Alexander looked down at Thomas and ran the fingers of his free hand through Thomas' hair. He licked his lips as he watched Thomas work his tongue expertly inside George. "You're such a good boy Thomas, you're already wrecking him." He purred. 

Thomas let out a low moan and kept up the work, getting a little more aggressive. Alexander could feel himself getting hard in his pants at the sight coupled with George's shameless moans. Alexander looked back at George's face and grinned a bit. "Are you proud of us, Daddy?" He asked. 

George pressed his forehead against the headrest and panted as Thomas wrecked him. He tried to push back against Thomas to no avail. "Fuck… Y-yes… Yes you two did so good… Please… Please do as you wish… Whatever you choose, do it… I will take whatever you give me, you de-deserve it…" George bit out desperately.

Alexander grinned in delight at that. He looked at Thomas who looked just as excited from what George just said. He then touched Thomas' shoulder. "Alright, that's enough babe. I'm going to stretch him, then we can give him a good spanking. Why don't you undress for me? I have a little treat for you." He purred.  -END of the preview.

Thank you so much! We are so freaking happy that it’s happening. We were planning it more today! It’s so amazing ugh.

I appreciate it all the same! It’s not too long for me at all!! Don’t you worry my dear <3 you didn’t overstep at all!

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 10)

A/N: I am so sorry that I have not been on for a full week. The phone I had used to edit this in broke and I had to buy a new one plus this is the last chapter and apparently the longest, regardless of my recent claims of the previous ones being the longest lmao. I hope this won't disappoint, I couldn't think of a more consistent flow due to the days I've been without my phone to type some ideas in. I hope you guys will enjoy this last part anyway, and thank you so much for supporting this entire series! I have a new series in mind but it's a WIP. Thanks again for all the love! IMPORTANT NOTE: I WILL BE CUTTING A PART IN THIS CHAPTER AND PUTTING IT UNDER A PART 10.1 IMMEDIATELY AFTER I POST THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE LIMIT. TAGS WILL BE MENTIONED IN THE COMMENTS

Summary for this part: A wedding brought you apart and it will be a wedding that will bring you back together.

Warnings: A good balance of fluff and angst, mention of injuries and alcohol and some long ass writing.

WC: A whopping 10k

Parts: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

You are painfully a feet away from the door and yet here you are, frozen after having turned 180 degrees only to stumble upon those eyes you had hoped to gaze into again. One swallow from you and you begin gliding along the tiled surface towards him, checking through every pad whether or not he's really awake.

After stopping at his side, you are now certain you're not anywhere close to dreaming. "Ben?" His name leaving your lips like an answered prayer. He's staring back at you with his left eye half-open – taking into account his current sensitivity to light– but with the same energy he exudes everytime you're together.

His chapped lips curl into a smile so slow yet so sweet at the same time; almost an upgrade to his classic 'Benny beam' which you had fun dubbing back in the days. "Y/N..."

And once again, you disrupt the orderly function of your tears and let them gush down, quickly but carefully wrapping your arms around him in bittersweet joy, exclaiming his name thrice into his hospital gown. "You...you bloody idiot! I thought you'd never wake up..."

Having just woken up from a coma, his voice comes out extra breathy and brittle but full of life, chuckling at how you're greeting him back into the conscious world. "Is that...is that how you welcome your best mate back?"

You shake your head ardently, sniffling against his chest and taking in the scent of mint. "Shut up. You frightened us!"

He really wakes up seconds before the clock strikes 'it's too late'. The convenience is hardly believable.

"I'm gonna call the doctor and tell him you're up." You act swiftly on your feet but a grip as strong as you least expected it to be hinders you from taking a step away and you turn around at Ben who's woven his fingers around yours. You give him a concerned yet quizzical look for it.

He sighs deeply, closing his logy eyes for a brief moment before opening them to you– gazing up at you meaningfully as he draws you close with the little, physical strength he has left. "You frightened me, rather."

"What... are you talking about?"

You won't admit it now but the way his fingers are currently snaked around yours could make your heart palpitate any second now.

His green eyes bore into yours effectively, suddenly invalidating your surroundings and making it seem like it's just you and him on the face of the entire planet.

He struggles to swallow before repeating. "You frightened me. You're still leaving..."

His voice crack as he said 'leaving' obliterates the fragments of what was once your soul, punching a gaping hole as a replacement. How is he able to remember your emotional outburst at the after party when he has just woken up and should at least forget a few details?

But then you realize you've been talking to him a lot as he was out of order.

You nod unfortunately, laying your hand on his which is still fondling your other one. His skin has warmed up a notch and that's a progress. You need to clarify this to him again since the last time you did, you both ended up in  disarray and in the middle of the road.

"I...I've already told you everything."

"I don't wanna- I don't wanna lose you."

"Ben..." You cut off as your hopeless gazes meet like lightning, his irises  darkening at the manner in which your eyes have transfixed on his.

"Please..."

Worried that his stable condition might shift due to the rising agitation he's showing, you sit beside him and bring his knuckles up to your lips, hearing the beeping of the heart monitor quicken which sounds incredibly alarming, an indication that his heart rate has elevated due to his induced stress.

You press your lips into his pale knuckles with your eyes thoroughly shut hoping to soothe him through it, tears trickling from your cheeks and onto the back of his hand as you choke on your words. "Ben...come on. You know I can't stay, you have to understand that."

He slowly shakes his head, biting his bottom lip as he grimaces at the bitterness, softly but agonizingly begging for you to reconsider. "You have to. Please, love. I need you to. I want you to."

Do the short term effects include stubbornness? Cause he's really determined to get you to stay no matter what. Joe must be tortured with waiting by now and at any given moment, he's bound to consider barging in.

You kind of hope he would. God, you should be out there notifying his attending physician about his regained consciousness and for goodness sake, Rosy ought to be here for this. She can't just wander out whenever she likes when her fiance's an injured man struggling to recover.

While keeping his trembling knuckles close to your lips, you move closer and question him, your voice downsizing to an unsteady whisper. "Why? Ben, I'm leaving primarily to pursue a career. Not just because of some heartbreak, this is a dream come true. I'm finally a stair close to reaching it. Why aren't you at least happy for me?"

"I am..."

"Then you have to let me go."

"It's not that easy..."

"Do you think it's any more easier for me? No! But this is what must be and you have to trust me on this," it's as if your heart is in your mouth from feeling so harrowed by all of this, but you have to make him see that this is the only way and that it is also important that you leave, "I'm sorry if I said some things that night that weren't exactly the way I felt. But I have to leave. You're getting married to Rosy soon, you know. Don't worry about me..."

He wishes he could just sit up with ease and cage you in his arms but all his incapacities at the moment are inhibiting him from doing so. Knowing he can't do anything about it emotionally deflates him.

He withdraws his hand a little and presses it to your flushed cheek, kneading your delicate skin as he shakes his head gently to prevent the dressing around his head from becoming less taut.

"I think I know well enough who I want to marry now..."

You can't distinguish what present beating has accelerated; the heart monitor's, your own heart, or at best both. But you're sure as hell his words weren't a product of your own imagination, your eyes drifting from one of his orbs to the other in a daze, looking for any sign that would prove that it's not you he's directed it at but it does otherwise.

"What are you saying?"

The skin of the front of his neck moves along as he swallows dryly to assure you the realness of his words, his thumb traveling up your face to wipe  the moist corner of your eye. "I'm a bloody wanker for taking so long to see...that you're the one who has always kept me grounded, who has always made me feel more like myself. Even as far as making me feel like I don't need all this fame to lead a good life, " his breath shortens between each sentence and your jaw goes slack as he exploits the atmosphere to continue, eyes buried deep into yours as if the space in between doesn't even matter anymore.

"I'm an idiot...for not realising sooner that it's always been you."

"Ben-"

"I love you too, Y/N L/N, more than the way I used to. How could I ever be happy without you? We promised neither of us is going anywhere, right? "

Definitely not in the context of mere friendship. For a moment, you make it your quest to find your voice to react and you do.

"You can't. You can't- I mean, what about Rosy? Surely your feelings for her wouldn't just go away like that-"

"It's been doused for so long with the ones for you growing," he's thumb is now gingerly stroking circles on your cheek, the green in his eyes gleaming, "that dance at the after party put me in my place and I asked you if you were still coming to my wedding because...it was my way of telling you how I felt at that moment."

Despite the idea coming off a little incoherent, you immediately get the bottom line. It would've been like coming to your own wedding. You study his gaze confusingly before coming to believe that he actually does love you back in the way you always have.

The words have been built up from the moment he whipped out his share of the polaroid and reestablished his promise as the way he felt towards you took a dramatic turn.

Yet no matter how badly you want to stay and finally work some things out with him, he's engaged and you're leaving in 45 minutes.

And what of Rosy? Hopefully Ben wouldn't think of just fragmenting her like that.

Your deafening silence puts Ben under a heap of worry as he painfully anticipates for your reaction. You shake your head at the unlikelihood of your present situations, bringing your eyes shut as you respond in the only way you can without any words needed to express how sorry you are and how much you've waited for him to say it.

Against your better judgement, you lean your body towards him and catch him off guard with the most bittersweet, goodbye kiss anyone could ever exercise on a moment's notice.

You can tell his positive response with how rapid the heart monitor pulses are becoming and how his lips have begun moving passionately against yours.

His eyes flutter shut in return, tangling his fingers in your hair as he dares to deepen the kiss, eager to feel every inch of your lips as he knows that you still won't be staying after this.

Wait for me to come home...

You pull away catching your breaths as you rest your forehead on his, his hand stroking the back of your hair for the little time you have left in your hands.

This feels so wrong yet so right at the same time. Howbeit strong the desire to stay put, you break away before the spark between either of you becomes magnetizing enough to change your mind.

"Please tell me where you're going...please." He pleads yet you refuse to tell him where you're headed to avoid a fuss, shaking your head apologetically with the space between you both increasing.

"I'm so sorry." You whisper, retreating quickly to the door as you ignore his broken pleas and just in time to be welcomed by the doctor, Rosy and some nurses who are here to conduct another assessment. Your pulse picks up at the sight of an uneasy Rosy along with an extra glimpse of a tuft of red and a head of blonde hair overtopping from behind her, eager to check up on whatever is occurring.

Joe and Lucy.

You clear your throat as you utter quickly to the doctor, unable to set your gaze steady. "He's awake." Your update stirs them to hasten on their steps inwards and you don't bother to stop to give Rosy a glance as she brushes by you, with you feeling the slightest, if not an immense amount of guilt for kissing her fiance– your best friend, who now has to make a troubling choice in choosing between you and her. Most importantly, you wouldn't dare to contend with Rosy over this, you'd rather let it happen naturally and see where it would lead but that's the least of your priorities.

You've whizzed a meter past Joe and Lucy but freeze in your spot at Joe's frail call of your name, your shoulders relaxing after a brief pause. "Y/N...how did- how did it go?"

You remain static in your spot, just wanting to leave the building and basically see past everything.

"Let's just go."

Of course he and Lucy half expected your last conversation to be balanced on a scale of nonchalant to vehement but it went off the boundary of vehemence. With one more look at the closed door, the two catch up with you on your way out with a plan on revisiting Ben on their way back from the airport.

You lengthen the sleeve of your sweater and dab your eyes with it, striding towards the car and slipping into passenger's seat gracefully with the two trailing from behind. Once they climb in after you, they begin bombarding you with questions you'd expect them to drop but being so exhausted from all of drama just lessens your likelihood of elaborating your answers. With a few questions dismissed, you ask Joe to just step on it and he complies sadly.

Lucy gives you a sympathetic, lopsided smile and however stagnant your expression is at the moment, you return the favor as the car accelerates on the road ahead.

You bother to give the distancing hospital one last look; giving him one last look.

At the same time the doctors are asking Ben some questions and performing a few physical tests on him, you make it to the airport with some time to spare. Joe and Lucy accompany you into the waiting area agreeing to stick around just until your flight number is announced.

Propping your luggage bag against a vacant seat next to the ones Joe and Lucy are seated on, you dig through your pocket and pull your phone out to check if there are any calls you've slept on. So far nothing of the sort but a dozen texts from friends and acquaintances wishing you the best on your flight to Spain, though you still have to return to London to collect your essentials.

Their words coax a small smile on your lips and after pressing the button to your home screen, the wallpaper brings a small tear to your eye– you and Ben with your arms wrapped around each other beaming goofily at the shutter of the camera.

In this instance, you begin wondering why photos and pictures

have become such a recurring emblem in your friendship. Joe and Lucy notice the sadness spring out of your eyes and cloud your features as you gaze one last time at your phone, and they instantly figure out what you were looking at. Lucy gets up and turns you around softly by the shoulder, prompting you to talk it out to them prior to leaving. If it unloads the stresses you're under then you agree to it, telling them what went on inside the room not too long ago.

Upon mentioning the bit where Ben confessed to you and was insistent on not letting you leave, Joe breathes out a firm, "I knew it" and Lucy shakes her head incredulously at Ben's 'perfect' timing but overall they're both glad he's opened his eyes– in a metaphorical and physical sense– to the person who has always been worthy of that spot in his life. As your conversation comes to a close, the announcement of the boarding of your flight number limits your bittersweet goodbyes however you do promise that you'll call them as soon as you touchdown.

"You better do well out there! Don't forget to call us every once in a while. Or everyday, damn it!" Joe calls out after blowing multiple kisses to you, he and Lucy bidding you an effective farewell.  You wave back at them with a reassuring grin before disappearing into the crowd of bustling passengers, huffing sadly underneath your breath as you trail your finger smoothly across your bottom lip– where Ben had left his precious, goodbye mark for you. Something you ought to hold on to dearly for the moments you'll be missing out on.

Many months later

During your first day in the University of Barcelona, you could've sworn it was all but a dream and at any given moment you could've awakened; but it wasn't. It was right before your eyes and you were standing upon the solid concrete that held those opportunities. In the first days you were but a foreigner; merely wandering around the campus with your textbooks in hand making your journey to the lab and cafeteria a noble quest. Like your life depended on finding your way through every twist and turn on a day to day basis, asking fellow students where particular rooms were as you struggled to maintain good eye contact.

It was an everyday uphill battle for everyone.

However things have improved immensely in the following months, you have gained new friends in most of your classes, developed a good sense of direction around the campus and you've scored solid 90's in your classes which you thought would be bumpy the first time but attainable anyway through nights spent with ounces of coffee, extensive reading and episodes of academic agony.

Despite the pressures in your first year, you still keep in touch with your friends and family back home, especially with Joe and Lucy to whom you had once swore to always call. They're glad to know you've been at your peak in the past few months plus they wouldn't stop making a fuss about how much they miss you and long to have some sort of reunion once you decide to go back for a break. They've been well too– Joe's planning on producing a new movie although he's not certain with the details yet, Gwilym has talked to you as well and he's thriving with new projects which you were quick to congratulate him on and Lucy - oh, darling Lucy- apparently Rami had taken her out of the country again and popped the question out of nowhere just two months after you left.

Of course, when she told you the news the hot brew you had nearly swallowed came spewing out of your mouth in surprise thereby catching the attention of the people you were with at that time. But that was out of happiness too, she's invited you to her wedding –a few months after breaking to you the news of her engagement– which is to take place two weeks from now, something you're unfortunately unsure of attending since you are steadfast on getting heaps of classwork done.

But you promised to update her if ever you found an opening on that week to squeeze in a flight.

"Aren't you coming with us? They're waiting downstairs and it's our only night off this week. " Ava, your roommate and closest friend among the others, asks as she slips on her cardigan, ready to leave for a night out. You've got a book propped up in front of you and you were just getting immersed in the lines you've taken your eyes off of. "Er, it's kind of a cold night out. You girls have fun anyway."

"You sure?"

You nod, flipping your pen in your fingers. "Just bring me home a smoothie while you're at it."

"Get your butt off the chair and do it yourself!" She whines as she throws a nearby ball of cotton at you and you giggle lightheartedly, wishing her and the girls good luck as she heads out, shutting the door behind her.

You're just relieved they can communicate fluently with you or you never would've gotten around the city easily. Just as you begin turning your attention back to your book, you suddenly lose the interest to continue and just close it for the night, picking your phone up and tossing yourself on the bed with a small jounce as you land.

You shift on your spot as you check through your messages, emails, some posts from friends and whatnot to pass the hour, eventually noticing a message from an unknown number sent just earlier today. Curiosity peaks in you and you don't think twice before clicking on it to read.

You've changed your number weeks prior anyway so it could be from someone you know whose phone number you haven't asked for yet.

Hey, Y/N.

I know this is out of the blue but it's been a while since I've heard from you and in all honesty I didn't even bother to contact you the first time out of the assumption that you might have busied yourself a lot and don't have the time to check your phone. But I've become so worried then that I had to decide to ask you how you're doing. How you're holding up wherever you are. If you're not overworking yourself since you tend to do that a lot. I know it's been months since we've last talked to each other but I just miss you. I miss seeing you, having those late night conversations that got you late in the morning for work, hanging out and your voice. I kind of want to call you but you might be occupied and I don't wanna be a bit of a bother.

I miss you so much, love. Every single day. I'm trying to distract myself with the new project I've taken but you're just impossible to sleep on. When will you ever be back?

Why does the tone of the message seem familiar?

You reread along the last lines and your heart comes to a stop at one word that gives away the possible identity of the sender.

The lingering silence in the room making it possible for you to hear the elevated throbbing of your heart. It's been a while since he's slipped into your mind and even until now, the love you have for him is still flourishing wholly. Even when you had your mind set on your studies, your heart unknowingly had some other priorities.

So has he called things off with Rosy because if he hasn't yet, the tone of the message wouldn't come off as sincere as this.

That's a question you don't need answered for the meantime however you wonder how he was able to text you when you've pretty much changed your number.

You hope he's fully recovered from that head trauma though it's been nearly a year since that happened. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, thinking about replying.

Hey. Ben if this is you, it's great to hear from you again.

Your eyes dart to the send button, taking a brief pause before hitting it and discarding your phone to the side at least hoping he wouldn't respond immediately because then it would lead to a conversation that might just turn awkward.

Never have you had an awkward talk with him so it's something you wouldn't want to acquaint yourself with.

You grab your pillow and press your cheek against it in uncertainty.

"Don't even start...thinking about him." You mumble groggily into the pillow and lay flat on your back as you begin wallowing in your own doubt, your eyes becoming droopy at every second spent on staring at the pale ceiling with your right arm and leg thrown over the pillow like you're never gonna let it go.

You never even considered seeing someone else because deep down, you still hoped for him. Though you had exchanged some stares and 'interactive' words with a few guys in your classes, none of them ever came or would ever come close to Ben.

- - - - - - -

This week's lab work gave your brain a mild whiplash with all the hustling you were required to do.

Every morning, you either had breakfast or not and it all depended on how early you had to be there. Provided that you had to take off in the early hours, you had to skip a good  bite nearly every morning; plus you were all being assessed closely by your professor and so a downshifted movement was every bit as unacceptable.

At least now that you had just gotten off from your last period you can reward yourself with some good Mediterannean food that should be the ultimate dinner of your night.

You and Ava are seated around a table laughing and enjoying each other's companies with your plates and glasses half-filled with leftovers after a quick chow down, but your attention is quickly divided as a text from Lucy surfaces. She's asked you about your availability next week and you ought to re-check your schedule for it. Once again upon pressing your home screen button you can't help but let a longing smile take form on your lips at your wallpaper and with you being oblivious to Ava noticing, to your demise, she takes a sly peek at what you're looking at and disrupt your train of thought.

"Who's that?" Ava asks with a cheeky grin to which you quickly recoil with your phone held loosely in your hand.

"Nothi- no-one. "

As nosy as she is tenacious, she swiftly

snatches your phone from your weak grip and dares to unlock it, the  wallpaper of you and Ben making her swoon in delight. "Y/N, how on Earth did you get Ben Hardy to hold you for a photo like this?" Squealing like a schoolgirl, Ava grills you with an inquisitive look. You've never bothered to tell her or any of your new found friends anything about your friendship with him and so now she thinks you're a fan who merely got luck in her favour for a picture.

If only she knew.

"I don't know? How'd you know it's him?" You speak up your mind, a fleeting blush crawling its way to your face.

" Bohemian Rhapsody was a hit, of course. Queen rocks and I was all for it," she gesticulates as a matter of fact and winks playfully, "and later on we were all for the cutie who played Roger Taylor."

You try your very best not to let a single squeak of laughter escape your lips as she begins drooling over him. What are the chances of her finding out, right? You would tell her about it and have her meet him however your situation is too dire to act in. Come to think of it, you haven't received a reply to your reply to his message. He could be juggling a lot in his hands at the moment, perhaps.

"Cutie. Yeah, he's cute. But the guy seems clumsy enough to drop your heart." Here you are throwing a sportive shade all the way from Barcelona.

As if she's taken a fake offense at your comment, Ava overdoes a gasp. "Is that how you say thanks?"

You respond with a one-shoulder shrug, your voice neutral to keep yourself from giving away the screams of your heart. "I'm just saying. What are we doing next week by the way?"

"As I've been told by Mr. Gomez, the school will be hosting an array of meetings with the BOD and so we're given a time off."

You blink thrice at her. "Seriously? Like a week?"

She forks a tapa from her plate and bites down on it, nodding at you. "Three days max." So you don't have the entire week off, but that's great. Given that you had told Lucy you'd update her about your availability during that time and now that you have a few days to spare, you're conditioned to go. You quickly get up from your chair and excuse yourself from Ava, making your way to the terrace to dial Lucy who you hope is reachable at the meantime.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, hey!"

"Y/N, thank goodness you called!"

"About my weekly update?" You bite down on your lip in excitement, swinging your leg back and forth aimlessly.

"What about it?"

"I'm free next week."

- - - - - - -

"And cut! Okay everyone, lunch break. We're not cleaning up the rubble yet so we'll leave it there for the next scene." At the sound of the clapperboard slamming, all stunts have been ceased until the next roll and the main actors retreat individually to their own trailers, one of which is Ben who is walking back within beads of sweat dripping from his forehead as a result of a car stunt he had to perform on set. He's glad he can finally swing his left arm with unbridled ease after disposing of the sling just two months back although he's left with a few scars; the primary one on his forehead from the trauma he had.

A PA hands him a bottle of water and he thanks her for the save, cracking the lid off and chugging away. He waves at his fellow co-stars before entering his trailer and slipping out of his sweaty shirt, dumping it on the edge of the bed.

He places the bottle on a coffee table and swipes his phone from his drawer, being welcomed by a heap ton of messages, one days older than the next. He scratches his head at the result of his constant business; not being able to find time to reply thereby impregnating his inbox with miscellaneous messages.

Three from Lucy which he is 'obligated' to check first and foremost. Ben's lips twitch to an uneven smirk as he reads her messages, amused that he's been invited to her wedding, along with other people.

He replies with a simple yet sincere, "Thanks, I'll mark it on my calendar" before proceeding to put his phone down on the bed. He sighs, taking out his wallet from his drawer and opening it to pick out something, the dual polaroid he's folded in catching his eye and all of his attention; and for a moment, his heart stops.

He pulls it out from its slot and unfolds it, the tape used to stick it together  crinkled but still an effective adhesive. Without taking his eyes off of the polaroids, he plops down on the edge of the bed and wipes his forehead, hiding the ridiculous smile he now has on his face behind his hand. The memory still does things to him apparently and he has never let go since the day you kissed him goodbye. He can still feel the touch of your lips linger on his and admittedly, he traces his finger across the spot every time you cross his mind. The things you had said to him while he was unconscious ultimately stuck in his mind and he just longs to hear your voice once more. There are multiple times he forgets that you're not around to vent to or watch a good game of rugby with or do whatever you used to do together, no matter the trouble.

Generally speaking, he just yearns to be with you.

On a side note, he had long called things off with Rosy, exactly a day after he had awakened. Of course, she didn't take it easy but he knew damn well who he loved.

A heavy sigh leaves Ben's lips as he lowers his head at the frustration he feels for never owning up to his feelings.

She probably has some other guy in her life now. What are my chances? He thinks dryly to himself. "Hey, Ben? Break is over." The assistant director knocks on his trailer door and he tells him that he'll be out in a few. Tucking the polaroids back into his wallet, he snags the fresh shirt that's been laid out on the sofa across him and pulls it on, combing his blond hair back with his fingers before heading out to get the day done without realizing that he has skipped your reply.

With the days leading up to Rami and Lucy's wedding, they have never been more busier about any other event in their entire lives. They've decided on a beach wedding and to hold the reception there as well. Lucy has made you one of her bridesmaids yet you declined at first because that would mean you would have to fly in early for a practice down the aisle but she's assured you that practice wouldn't be necessary. She has taken care of the dresses and such and all you need to do is just fly down to California, again, to attend. Speaking of dresses, you bought her a little wedding gift yourself. It's something small but it's bound to suit her look.

You've told Ava about the wedding– excluding essential details like whose wedding it is specifically– and she's a little disheartened that you wouldn't be around to hang out with for the week but you've reassured her that you won't be long; considering you'll also be reviewing for upcoming tests.

"Okay, so it's a beach wedding? Drastic times call for some drastic measures, chica!" She exclaims and throw her arms up in the air, springing out of her bed and rummaging through her wardrobe as you throw what you can into one, just one luggage bag.

She pulls out a black two-piece bikini from the drawers and upon beholding it, you feel your eyes burn to a crisp. "There won't be any swimming, as far as I'm concerned."

"You'll never know. Just toss this in, it might come in handy." You swear you saw a mischievous glint in her eye as she said that. You press your lips into a tentative, hard line before surrendering,  grabbing the pair from her and stuffing it in the unreachable depths of your luggage.

"Happy?" She nods vigorously and you sigh in defeat, zipping your bag close.

The day came and the jet lag is still real. You've flown in a day prior,  exactly the day of Lucy's bridal shower and well, a literal bone crushing hug welcomed you on your way into the arrival area. She looked really fresh and bloomy before you arrived but afterwards, it was a messy head of hair and a waste of makeup, not to give it a stretch but it was. She's shed a few tears from how long you've been gone and you couldn't help but shed a few yourself, awfully missing her and the rest.

She's prepped a hotel for all her bridesmaids to stay in and you had some thoughts on how much she's spent but it's her wedding so who are you to question? As she helps you settle in your room, she pauses and brings you in for another big hug.

"Aww, Luce." You chuckle over her shoulder, rubbing her back.

She snaps her eyes shut and hums. "Oh Y/N, I've missed you. We all have. I know we call a lot even from a distance but it's been so long since we've last seen each other."

You sigh heavily, still holding her close.

"LAX. Yeah. It's only been a year but it feels like forever," you pull away deliberately, hands still firm on her shoulders with a heartfelt gaze, "Congratulations, Luce. You and Rami better make wonderful babies."

She smacks your arm lightly as an appropriate response to your little tease. "Shut it. Tell me everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah," she planks down on the edge of the duvet and crosses her legs, leaning her body forward, "how's Spain? How's the school? The agony? Been seeing someone?" The last bit catches you by surprise; as if she's emphasized the question enough for it to be the main thing you have to answer. You disregard it for a few seconds until she brings it up again. You turn to give her an incredulous brow lift, something she returns with a curious grin. "Are you seeing anyone?"

In your mind, she should know that you've only ever had one guy in your heart but knowing Lucy, she just wants to hear you say it yourself .

You huff underneath your breath, planting your hands on your hips as you perpend on saying the following. "Spain is amazing. School is both heaven and hell. The agony exists in every divot, and no, I'm not seeing anyone."

"That's good."

You glance sideways awkwardly. "Okay? Is what good?"

"Everything, except the agony part, especially the last."

"I'm not seeing anyone?" You repeat and she nods with a blossoming smile. You don't say anything else since it's obvious that she's keen on letting you talk about Ben but today's not the day that you do. It's the day before her wedding and every present air particle should be all about her.

"Regardless, Miss Boynton. This week is all about you so," you alter your stance and skip to your luggage bag, unzipping one compartment and pulling out your wedding gift for her, "it's not much but I figured this looks better if it's on you." You hand her the palm-sized object and she lets out a little gasp at what you got her. It's a hair comb adorned with two, white roses and pale rhinestones that glimmer under the spilling light.

Something that would upgrade her sun-kissed beauty on a clear day. You try it on her and step back to picture her with the full ensemble as she walks down the sandy aisle tomorrow. "Good lord, look at you all grown up." You pretend to tear up and she tilts her head back in a burst of laughter, walking to you with welcoming arms and green eyes that are nearly brimming with tears.

"Oh I love it, Y/N! I knew something was missing in the outfit but you've completed it. It's perfect." She mumbles happily against your shoulder and her contentment tickles your insides.

"I'm glad you like it."

After giving you a look of what you'll be wearing tomorrow and a few, friendly  introductions to the rest of the bridesmaids, the bridal shower is where everything is at. Ranging from colorful streamers to champagne to cake strippers, the latter putting you under uneasy situations when you just wished to enjoy your drink and your own space. At the same hour you're enjoying yourselves, on the other side of town is where Rami and the boys are on full swing with his bachelor's party. It has the same vibe, only without the strippers and streamers and constant belly-aching movement.

You just pray none of you will be waking up with hangovers at the hour you'll be fixing yourselves.

And indeed none of you have.

You've all waken up like ladies but clumsily as the realization of the time nudges you out of your beds. Ceremony starts at 9 and you're 5 hours early to ensure that everything progresses smoothly.

It's a condensed hustle within your separate rooms; the pattern of getting ready ever so similar. Shower, makeup, hair, dress, and retouch; all done in complete unison. With all the bridesmaids, including yourself, conditioned outfit-wise, you all gather in Lucy's room to assist in psyching her up for the big day. Her mom's in too to witness every precious second of seeing her daughter fly off on her own.

She's still in her robe but her hair and makeup have been beautifully done by one of her makeup artist friends. She's about to step into her gown, a sight the girls are just dying to see.

"Alright, Lucy. Let me just zip up the back." Says one of the girls who has helped with her makeup as Lucy stands confidently but nervously in front of the mirror, scanning her reflection. You fold your hands together in anticipation, gasping as she turns around slowly with the skirt of the gown gracefully following her turning motion. Her radiance could put the sun's to complete shame.

"Well, say something, girls." She prompts with a chuckle and as expected, it is followed by the uproarious squeal of everyone in the room including yourself. Rami is guaranteed to have his gaze super-glued to Lucy the moment she reveals herself. After having a dozen compliments shower her, you and the rest of the girls retreat outside to give her and her mother a time to talk. As you lean against the door frame, you fish out your phone from your purse and check your messages; coming across your reply to Ben which hasn't received another one from him yet.

You wipe off the downhearted smirk on your expression as the girls' murmurs increase as Lucy steps out holding a bouquet of flowers with her mom on her arm and the edge of her gown lifted by two assistants. She turns her head to find you and crooks her finger at you upon seeing you inclined against the frame, letting you walk by her side.

You notice she's sporting the gift you've given her and the sentimentality makes you want to tear up but in doing so would ruin your makeup and so you decide to save it for the kiss.

You lean in close to her and whisper in a flat but playful tone, your words making her giggle. "Rami's totally getting it."

"I'm not the only one who's getting it today." She winks at you and leaves you questioning what she meant. She made it sound like it's something you have to find out for yourself later on. The weather is fine and not as humid as you thought; the ideal atmosphere to marry under. The bridesmaids are to ride in a separate vehicle that will follow up behind the one Lucy and her mom will be taking. To say that your ride with the the girls to the resort turned out fun and noisy is an understatement; you couldn't be any more conscious about smudging your makeup as you busted your guts laughing at your topics. The driver had given you weirded out looks but you know he was just trying to feign a laugh. By the time you arrive at the resort, a gust of wind from the seaside welcomes you out and nearly messes up your hair though you've put it up in an elegant bun with your tendrils hanging loosely from the sides of your head. You traverse closely behind the rest of the girls and find the venue nearly packed with attendees in their most sophisticated dresses and suits. The altar is set meters away from the shoreline and a red carpet has been rolled out to serve as the aisle between lines of pillars decorated with tropical flowers. A gentle music piece is being played by a violinist and a cellist situated on the left side of the altar with waiters serving some four-seasoned refreshments for the guests to enjoy as they wait.

With all these people around, you can't help but wonder if either Joe or Gwilym made it. You haven't contacted Joe about arriving, given that you wanted to surprise him with your arrival. You peer down at your wristwatch and it's only an hour before the ceremony starts. Rami's nowhere to be seen and you badly want to congratulate him on this, but either way, he's probably attending to some other people and so you put that chance on hold.

As you had wished for yourself to be void of any mishaps today, you bumping into a tall figure as you turn around to walk away deters that possibility and mortifies you for a moment.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry-" You quickly apologize but cease as a familiar face meets your lifting gaze.

"What- Y/N?!"

"J-Joe?!"

"Y/N!"

"Joe!" After shamelessly screaming each other's names, you put no thought into the action of jumping into his arms for a tight hug. He's crushing you in one anyway. "Oh my g- what- when did you arrive, you little sneak? " He exclaims and lets you go for a split second, careful not to ruin your satin outfit. "You're going to murder me for this but yesterday."

His brows furrow in disbelief as his mouth hangs agape. "How dare you not tell me? I mean, I knew Lucy would invite you but...actually how dare you both for not telling me." He whines in a joking manner and you respond with a quick shrug. "Surprise, surprise."

"You sure did and wow," his eyes travel up and down your outfit and you click your tongue at him as he does, pointing your finger to your eyes that are aimlessly roving around his suit in the same manner. "Hey Mazzello, eyes here."

"Hypocrite, eyes here." He mimics your action mockingly and you take eye-rolling to the next level.

"Damn it Joe, I've missed you."

"Missed you too. Been a year but it feels like a decade and you look beautiful, by the way, in that outfit as a bridesmaid." He places his hand on your upper back and leads you into the lounging area that is close to the pool but not far from the event area.

"You don't look so bad yourself for a groomsman. "

"How'd you guess?"

"This is Rami's wedding. I'd know."

You got an hour to talk before you take your positions anyway so catching up would be vital. You settle down on the sofa and fit your talk into the time limit, telling each other about what went on in your lives for the past few months. A lot of interesting stuff has happened to Joe and he's absolutely lively as he talks about it however yours hasn't been much, just adaptation to a new environment and the academic agony. Your talk takes an interesting turn as Joe asks you a question related to something you haven't thought about for a few days.

"Since you're pretty much still on the market, you ever think about...you know."

Your brows crease at him. "What?"

"You know," he lifts his shoulder in a half shrug, "Ben."

"Oh." Is the only thing you can say. The answer is pretty clear, you do think about him but not on a daily basis. He comes across your mind when you've drifted off into oblivion with your thoughts or when something that may remind you of him catches your eye.

"Sometimes I guess. But not as deep as I used to."

"I know you miss him, Y/N, and he misses you too. Believe me, he tells me everytime he calls."

You cast him a short gaze but look back at your fingers, a little comforted by the thought and it motivates you to ask. "Is he still with Rosy?"

Joe scoffs, mildly amused and wholly relieved at the contrary. "That's the good news. He's broken things off with her long ago. Just a day after he regained consciousness."

"Really?" You won't admit it but part of you feels bad for her.

"Yeah and I'm not spoiling you the rest," he rises from his spot on the sofa and reaches out for your hand, pulling you up gracefully. "The thing's about to start." He gestures to the chairs that are beginning to get occupied by the people as the priest arrives. You walk back out alongside him, leaning in to ask out of curiosity. "What do you mean you won't spoil me the rest?"

"You'll see, now go skedaddle to Lucy. She needs her crew." He pats your shoulder with a crooked smile on and you sigh inwardly, waving at him as you divert paths; with you headed to where the rest of the bridesmaids and the bride herself are gathered.

"Gwilym! You're just on time." Spotting Gwilym making his way to join Sami – Rami's brother– at the front row of chairs on the right wing as one of the groomsmen, Joe greets him with a brief hug and takes his place next to him. Sami greets the two men as well, exchanging some remarks before being joined by Ben who had been caught in traffic on his way. "Benny!"

"Ben!"

"Hey, you guys! Am I late? Did I miss the vows?" He asks with a hint of irony as he takes the spot between Gwil and Joe, shaking hands with Sami at the same time. Not a minute longer they are joined by the remaining groomsmen and Rami who has finally garnered up the physical strength to stand on the altar without breaking a sweat.

"You got this, mate. Just don't look down. Your boutonniere looks nice if I might add." Gwilym simultaneously advises and compliments an already nervous Rami hoping to appease him yet earns a quick yet teasing smack from Joe for making a small joke out of the situation. To show them that he's actually better on every possible level, Rami stands tall and rests his hands on his front to exude that confidence and excitement of being minutes away from watching his soon-to-be Mrs. Malek grace the aisle with her presence.

The guests simmer down with their chatters as the first ones who will be walking down the aisle take their positions. The musicians stop playing as they wait for the cue to initiate the main piece in accordance with the first walk.

Among the ones that will be walking before Lucy's big entrance is you and though you'll be joined by your fellow bridesmaids, it somehow just quakes your nerves, tightening your grip around the small bouquet of flowers you've been given as a prop.

You can't understand why you're feeling nervous; you're not the one that's getting married but you just don't know why. The musicians are given the cue and they begin playing a familiar song, something contemporary but heart-achingly romantic.

"You okay?" Asks a fellow bridesmaid and you nod, telling her that you're a bit anxious. She reassures you with a smile and it unknots your tension. The guests and attendees turn their heads towards the threshold of the aisle and the sponsors begin walking down first. Next are some of their relatives, then you– the bridesmaids. There are at least seven of you and you come in fifth. As you begin sauntering down the aisle, you feel relaxed yet piercing eyes trail your movement yet you beg to differ and keep your head up with a mellow smile on your face as you keep your eyes ahead, your unsteady gaze fleeting from the altar and to the groomsmen seated at the front row of the right wing.

Your eyes land on Joe and Gwilym who start giving you bright beams as they notice you in an instant. If you weren't trying to walk sophisticatedly with all these people staring, you would let out the loudest, most awkward giggle. It's nice to see Gwilym again though. Just as you begin turning your unwavering attention away, you take a subtle double take at a certain pair of eyes that has found you long before you found them. You are meters away from reaching your end of the aisle and yet it seems as if you've only started walking with how the music has turned up and how you're exchanging astonished yet longing gapes with Ben who knows he is seconds away from exploding with who he's finally seeing. You're here as a bridesmaid for Lucy and yet ridiculously, you feel like the bride.

Of course he's here. Of course he's one of the groomsmen. Of course Lucy and Joe wouldn't tell you. Of course this is the thing Joe didn't want to spoil about. Why didn't you think about any of this earlier? It would've saved you the shock regardless of it being so obvious.

You gather the strength to break away from the trance you've put yourself in and stand next to the girls, using up all the willpower in your body to avoid risking a peek at the groomsmen– at one groomsman rather. It's the same struggle for Ben who is every bit as stubborn as the next person and does the contrary, going as far as tilting his head to one side just to cop a longer view of you, an action Joe notices and slaps his hand for. Ben winces a bit and gives Joe a questioning look for two reasons.

"Save it." Joe whispers flatly and yet Ben dismisses it and feels his breath hitch in his throat as the sight of you appeases his worries yet makes his heart run a mile. With the ring bearers and flower girls at the edge of their walk, everyone rises up at the reveal of Lucy. The music slows down to fit the pace of her walk with her mother by her side, her eyes finding Rami's and establishing a home in them. You glance at both of them and feel your heart inflate at how strong their love for each other is, something that usually only exists in novels and fiction. Lucy's eyes well with joyful tears as she reaches the altar and her mother finally surrenders her hand to Rami.

It's too much.

With you being too distracted by the spark between Rami and Lucy, you overlook Ben's unbreakable gaze at you. The moment you grew a smile, it invalidated everything else surrounding him.

The priest requests everyone to finally sit down and witness the lifetime commitment blossom. Throughout the ceremony, you can't help but feel his eyes sear through you yet you stand your ground and fix your gaze at the happenings on the altar, briefly failing every once in a while by finding yourself looking back at him. The moment has come for them to exchange their vows and you listen intently at every word sincerely uttered by the two. There are parts in their vows that make the people giggle and tear up at the emotion put into every word expressed. It seems surreal to you that the moment Rami tells Lucy that he's never going anywhere, your gaze meets Ben's and it becomes undeniably bewitching, Rami's words acting as a call back to your promises. As the rings are exchanged and the "I do's" are said, the priest pronounces them husband and wife and you tear your focus away from Ben just in time for Rami and Lucy to share their first kiss as a married couple. Cheers and applauds fill the air and even more tears of joy are shed at the start of their lifetime bond. They both couldn't look any more blissful, with the pair of them giddily flaunting their rings with grins so radiant and bright it undermines the power of the sun upon them.

The cheers and excitement continue at the reception which, of course, is hosted at the very same place. After the ceremony– you, the girls and Lucy took off to the rooms you've booked in the resort for the meantime to change into the appropriate apparel to match the vibe of the venue and even the venue itself. Rami and the boys drove back to their respective hotels to change as well and it was a bit hard for the newly weds to go their separate ways for a few hours just to change clothes. Now that you've all rejoined for the reception, lively doesn't even begin to cut it. It's just like any other wedding reception and like any other wedding reception, it's upbeat, smooth and a little haywire on the egdes. After going through with dinner and a couple of toasts and remarks about the funny side of Rami and Lucy's relationship, the dance floor is open for business. At first glance, the girls take you for someone who is in need of a lot acquainting with the dance floor and they're right; because of that they haul you in themselves and you end up enjoying moving around to the music. You decide to refreshen yourself with a glass of iced tea before returning to your fun. One gulp is all takes to replenish the energy lost and you turn around to head back but freeze in your spot at the sight of Joe with his hand out, asking you for a dance.

"Seriously?" You're not surprised but your brows shoot up in question.

"It's my way of saying 'I need to talk to you'. "

"We can do that outside." You gesture to the vacant space yet Joe insists that he dances with you as you talk. You purse your lips together, letting him take your hand and he pulls you along with him almost too abruptly, eliciting a ticklish squeal from you.

"Don't do that!" You whine as you both settle among the multitude of dancing people. He lowers his head in laughter and twirls you under his arm, drawing you close afterwards. You rest one hand on his shoulder as he holds up the other. "Where's the fun in talking outside now, huh?"

"Alright," you grin ridiculously, spotting Rami and Lucy in each other's arms as they slow dance near the mini stage, looking and feeling at one with the other. "Hey, doesn't it just warm you?" You poke Joe and gesture to the  newlyweds. He peers over at them and hums in a heartwarming way. "Yeah. Man, it's like they're communicating with each other merely through their close-knit heartbeats."

"Speaking of communication," you clear your throat and give him a direct look, " what did you want to talk about?"

He snaps out from gauging at the two and leads you on a gentle sway as he swallows, increasing the volume of his voice just loud enough to cut through the music and for you to hear. "Right. About the thing during the ceremony," you immediately catch on to what he's trying to say and interrupt his next words.

"Okay, thanks for implying, but are you kidding me? Giving me stroke by hiding Ben's attendance?"

"It was for dramatic effect," your eyes flatten puzzlingly at his defense. "What was so dramatic in that besides the awkward... staring?" You know the truth and it really wasn't awkward; in fact it felt like time dilated between you both.

Joe ping-pongs his gaze from one end of the place to the other and back to you. "You paused after 'awkward'. You liked it." The smile on his face teasing you. He's really that sensitive to the nuance of your voice, making it easier for him to figure out how you actually feel about anything.

You evade his prying look and clear your throat, trying to keep up with the transition of the rhythmic music to a slow tune. "So what if I did?" You mumble intentionally.

"Nothing bad. Just Ben wouldn't stop fidgeting in his spot after seeing you. He was this," he makes small jerky movements with his upper body as to imitate Ben's inability to keep still during the ceremony, "antsy and I was this close to losing it."

You snort as you let an explosive laugh overcome you, recollecting yourself shortly as you are flattered by Joe's report. "I felt the same. It took every cell in my body to prevent myself from launching at him honestly."

"I'm glad we sat in separate tables or else neither of you would function like regular...human beings." The grin on Joe's face fades in the same manner as his last words, staring off at a figure approaching from behind you. He regains his voice in a matter of seconds, only with a sly twinkle in his eyes this time.

"You okay?" You ask him, slowly removing your hand from his chest and he nods vigorously, taking position to whirl you off but with a sneaky twist.

"I'm fine. Just... Gwilym wants to dance with you and he's right behind you so I'm going to spin you off to him, sound good?" He lifts your arm up and you shrug in agreement, going with what Joe's planning to do.

"Ally oop!" He twirls you around and releases your hand just in time for you to cling onto a firm frame, giggling at the rush you felt. "Hey Gwil! Good catch, that was a strong spin-" You take a hard pause the second you lift your eyes up with the expectation of meeting Gwilym's sapphire blues, greeting a pair of forest, green orbs instead and it becomes more than what you've bargained for. His veiny arms have caught you with ease and you're sinking, both literally and metaphorically, your arms awkwardly thrown over his shoulders for support.

He helps you regain your balance and smiles the smile you had craved to behold again, breathing out your name like he hasn't said it in a long time. "Y/N, hi."

You find your voice just in time to reply. "Ben...h-hi." He's looking quite good in an all white attire. His white dress shirt is tucked in and has three buttons undone, exposing a lot of his clavicle and a preview of his pecs and the way his white pants just hangs loosely around his legs– you've lost the proper words to describe the sight.

Joe, you crafty asshole.

[dingdonghun]

HEEEEEY I just reached 300 followers! I literally have no idea why you guys are here but I appreciate you regardless and so I just want to give a fast quick thanks to some people ; ; 🌻💛 but first!!!

I don't do much but state opinions and reblog things but I've written my very first story (Memories In Summer) and I figure I will continue writing if I can, because I often have ideas in my head. I may write a few more stories and get feedback and then start a Seperate blog for it all together but I honestly don't know, I strongly lack motivation due to working all day every day ; ; but I want to do my best for all of you, I want to pay you back for being so sweet to me 💛💛💛... OKAY LETS GET INTO MY BEAUTIFUL MUTUALS THAT I'VE FORMED FRIENDSHIPS WITH (if I forget anyone it may be because we haven't talked in a long time, my memory is really bad, PLEASE let me know)

@princeyeolie my baby Kaylee, thank you for being my very first friend when I started this blog. I love you so so much with all of my heart and I deeply appreciate you being here, even when you get grounded every 5 seconds. 💛🌻

@a-godchend my sweet Yanbun whom I feel I keep growing closer to. I'm close with you as well and I want to always be here for you uwu you fucking precious sweet peachy rose. I swear to god 😤

@sunkissedkpops my beautiful sun 🌞 always here for me, very very close to me, I love you so so damn much. I couldn't imagine being without you now that we've met and are in each other's lives ; ; 💛

@heylaybaeslayyay awe my cute little cinnamon roll. Very sweet and very precious. I love talking to you and it always brightens my day 💛🌻 I'm glad to have you around me all of the time

@galaxies-and-daisies though we've only communicated via asks, I care deeply for you and I always want to be around you because you're such a sweet puff pastry. I'm always here if you need me and I want to squish my face against yours. 🌻💛🌻💛🌻

@byunrelatable my Ari~ we haven't talked in a while but I miss you very much and you're a great friend to me. I want to give you soft gentle forehead kissies. Maybe choke you out wrestler style. 😚💛

@papermuse96 Abi! My sweet princess, I miss you all of the time uwu I can never get enough of you. I desire to eat your face. But like.... Lovingly 👀🌻

@noona-clock my T and B, I always feel happy when I see you two on my dash and you both make me so happy. I'm glad that we became friends and I look up to the two of you. You make me want to write, and I'll try to do so in the future ~ you're both so talented and beautiful inside and out and I love you so much 😚🌻💛

@kyungiebaby listen I know I literally just met you but I love you so fucking much lmao. I get so excited when I see you in my notifications and being ignored by you gives me a big fat uwu 💛🌻 you ignore me so good, baby. (I'm just teasing you, I'm happy to have you around 💛💛💛)

@xnamjoons-slutx you've been nothing but sweet to me and I'm always happy to see you on my dash and in my messages, even if we don't talk too much lately (this is completely my fault lets be honest, I'm terrible at keeping up with people) I deeply appreciate you 🌻💛 thank you for being in my life

@monsterpcy listen I came across an old post that you and I were in together and I said to myself... Holy shit I REALLY miss Amy B( so we are going to have to fix that, understand?? P.s I love you so fucking much. uwu you are a saint 🌻💛

@shimmie-shimmie-kokobop my precious baby whom always tags me in puppy posts. I love you Kaz and I'm sorry I'm so MIA lately, work is kicking my ass and my energy is low, but I miss you and I appreciate you and all of your spam uwu 💛💛💛💛

@isothetic I love you and all of your spam posts as well, you always send me things that I bust hard uwu's over. Sometimes even busting a big nut. You are also very sweet and we relate to most things, I appreciate you and you always make my day that much better when I see your posts 😚🌻

@phantasticforfob the same for you, you always send me amazing posts and I deeply appreciate you for it, you sweet precious angel baby. Thank you so much for always making my day a bit better when you're in my dms uwu 💛💀💀💀

@junsoohyun you're literally always in my notes and I love you to death lmao. We finally talked for the first time recently and you're actuslly extremely sweet and I love you so much already uwu please let me give you all of the kissies in the world that you deserve. 😘😘😘😘😚😚😚

For anyone I forgot, I'm terribly sorry, I'm doing my best over here lmao I'm typing this during break at work and my mind is elsewhere but I appreciate and love every single one of my followers and mutuals and if any of you ever need anything at all, please send me a note or an ask and I'd love to help. 💗❤💚💜💙💛💓💕💖💞💋💋💋💋💋