#sorry okay done 👍

[xomoosexo]

okay I know I don't talk about sapnap that much but that one time when he played in Ludwig's Fortnite tournament with Nick and slime from the yard AND jerma and he had to be transfered at the last second from a team that he actually had friends on and nick and slime were expecting some kid who would be upset to be transfered and to be on a not so good team and yet they spent like 3 hours losing every game and he stayed so positive and happy to be there and they thought he was so sweet and funny they kept complimenting him and then Nick brought him up again on Karl's episode of the yard saying he thought all Minecraft people were unfunny and then he met sapnap and was like "I love this person"

[xxxvomitboyxxx]

Fellow Travelers - 1.03 vs 1.07

[lillyosaurus]

who care

song

[moe-broey]

GIRL......................... suspension of disbelief I know but.

Obviously you can pick out a BUNCH of the dragons as that Is an ongoing trope (dragons aging differently than humans, so they can look younger than they "actually are") (also while I did try to avoid including them to make them more comparable to Nino, I think Flayn can fit in either category for the purposes of The Context -- esp cause her dragon blood is meant to be secret)

Not only do we have Heroes skewing younger (a lot fitting into another trope of What If There Was A Baby Sister) we also have Baby Banner. Where the whole point is they are baby.

LIKE....... maybe I'm speaking way too soon and maybe the whole point IS this will backfire LMFAO, but it IS absurd to be presented with her art (which, def still looks youthful!) and having her say yeah I can pass as a kidnapped child. Which COULD be true! But also what do you mean no one is going to know you're a part of the Heroes. Why is no one fighting her on this. Not even including the dragons there are like a handful of Heroes who fit into her exact vibe. Some even MORE baby than her.

[daz4i]

tarot reading fucked me up.. (it was positive and told me things i mostly know and think about these days but i don't know how to handle positivity)

[maddy-ferguson]

okay ik this has been talked before but i just got a sudden anxiety feeling regarding this and wanted to share. i hope when byler kiss it doesnt come off as awkard. idc about the other scenes, noah and finn can screw up their other scenes on the show but when they kiss and it comes off as weird and awkward in a bad way? im sorry but i cannot deal with that, that moment has to be monumental and i cannot deal with melvins mocking the scene just like how the mon*logue scene gets mocked. that is also partly why i want will's hair to be changed, sorry not sorry.

this is so funny and i'm sure it won't come off as awkward but i'm gonna have to agree on the bowl cut commentary. i find the way will stans (especially on twitter) cling to his bowl cut and defend it with their lives fascinating because you can lie to yourself all you want it literally does not look good. most of the time. in seasons 3 and 4 i mean. there's a reason people make fun of it 24/7 like why do you want him to keep flopping...

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[frassycassy]

Hey there

Yeah, I'm alive

Just how long has it been??? Hahaha

[ghostpunkrock]

I always restart bfu at 3 horrifying cases of ghosts and demons so I actually forgot shane was in the last episode before it and like

look at these assholes, they have no idea that their careers and their lives are going to be inextricably bound together for the rest of eternity do they

[airbenderedacted]

I love you too!!! /p For the record I also listen to will wood I’m just not a superfan and I haven’t listened to the album because I didn’t have the energy to listen to new music yesterday,,, But anyways yes idk I just remember you talking about listening to will wood a while ago and you were like “I’m a gay little spinel kinnie of course I do” so maybe I had those words subconsciously in my mind… but in any case I . I just wanted to tell you everything will be okay . Because I know you have been sad in the past :( . And being a spinel kinnie if it’s for trauma is inherently sad HASHJSNAD. Anyways goodnight or good morning depending on when you see this. Rest well buddy💗💗💗

"I'M A GAY LITTLE SPINEL KINNIE OF COURSE I DO"

[solaireverie]

op81 | best he'll ever write

summary: [ author!oscar piastri x f!driver!reader — social media au ] being the partner and muse of a celebrated author means that fans start connecting the dots sooner rather than later

faceclaim: gracie abrams

author’s note: i'm secretly a ya romcom book girlie and i feel like that shows SO MUCH in this fic 🙈 delusional for life!

[ masterlist / guidelines / lola's masterlist / series masterlist ]

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, liakblock and 534,230 others

geotag: melbourne, australia

yourusername short break down under 🐨

view comments

user great race at the australian gp y/n!

↪ user first points of the season let's goooo

↪ yourusername and hopefully many more to come 🙌

logansargeant STRAYAAA 🦘🇦🇺🦘🇦🇺

↪ yourusername VEGEMITE ON TOAST 🤤

↪ user sometimes i forget that logan and y/n are both gen z 😂

user the puppy is so adorable 🥺

↪ user i wonder whose it is 👀 y/n's said that her schedule doesn't allow for pets

oscarpiastri not my birthday cake...

↪ yourusername sorry not sorry 😉

↪ user who the hell is oscar piastri and why is y/n replying to his comment 😭

↪ user don't you talk about my favourite best-selling author like that 🤺

oscarpiastri has added to their story

seen by yourusername, logansargeant, jennyhan and 124,203 others

you replied to oscarpiastri's story

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris and 3,393,210 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername can't believe that little kid is now a 3-time nyt best-selling author 🥹 so proud of you oscarpiastri 💗 i haven't been able to put eighty-one seconds down 📖 available in bookstores near you!

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user i love how y/n always supports and promotes oscar's books 🥺

↪ user they're so adorable together my heart can't take it

oscarpiastri Thanks for the encouragement. Couldn't have done it without you 👍

↪ yourusername damn right you couldn't have 😤

user okay but who took the photo of y/n 👀

↪ user i'm betting it was oscar 😜

↪ user hello what 😳😳😳

↪ user oh my sweet summer child...

liked by yourusername, hachetteaus, johngreenwritesbooks and 293,192 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri Thank you to everyone who's been on this journey with me. Eighty-One Seconds is finally yours and we can't be more happy to share it with you. As many of you have guessed, it is my homage to Y/N and all the time we have spent together. My wife, my love, my heart. I'm grateful that you're in my life. Forgive me for re-using my words, but here's to eighty-one more years together.

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user hold on a damn second 🤚 his WIFE??? when was this a thing 🧐

↪ yourusername 🤭

↪ user give us answers please 🙏 i haven't had peace since oscar posted this

yourusername i love you too, oscar jack piastri 🤍

↪ user oh he literally named his mc after himself 😭

↪ user GOODBYE??? JACK AS IN HIS MIDDLE NAME??? oh my god they really weren't subtle

williamsracing signed copy when 😏

↪ hachetteaus already on its way 🫡

user honestly i'm surprised they managed to hide their relationship for this long 💀

↪ user oh they did NOT we were just blind

↪ logansargeant I didn't find out until I got the wedding invitation in the mail 🤝

↪ landonorris i think that's just cause you're oblivious mate 😂

↪ logansargeant what???

↪ landonorris they literally make out all the time in williams hospitality

↪ yourusername lando... 😒

user if your man isn't writing a book professing his love for you, what's he doing with his life?

↪ user oscar's set the standard 😌

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

taglist: @scenesofobx @vellicora @boiohboii @julesbabey @flannelforthetoads @misartymis @c-losur3

[theyluvkarolina]

hi hi!!

i just read your lando angst fic. so good ahhhhhh😩🤌🏻

um.. and if your requests are open… could i request a max verstappen x manager! reader where she is real madrid’s or mancity’s social media manager or something and she’s sorta famous herself and has a really good relationship w her team. and max goes to one of the games and meets her and all the guys are teasing her (like how brothers tease their sister over things haha) and they get together after a while ?

sorry if that was so specific😅 love your works!! and i understand if you don’t want to do it!! have a lovely day <3

𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` you break her heart, i’ll cut your dick off. ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Meeting a f1 driver at your job wasn’t on the bucket list. However, crushing and getting teased by your new team members as if you were their little sister makes this much more worse interesting.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ max verstappen x fem!reader

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 ୨୧ none!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ GOOGLE TRANSLATED SPANISH!! I’M NOT AT ALL A SPANISH SPEAKER PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!, Y/n is a major fangirl for Max 😭, i made y/n a bit more… sassy? sex jokes again

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ i’d like to apologize for how long this took and that i definitely could have done this request better than this considering how happy I was to do this but my writers block has been out of control lately :( as for the teasing, i went the more “over-protective brothers” route. I hope that’s okay with you!

𝐀/𝐍 2 ୨୧ … safe to say i did NOT plan for this to be finished and come out on the one race max got a dnf 😭😭

INSTAGRAM, 1 year ago.

realmadrid ✔︎

realmadrid ¡Al Real Madrid FC le gustaría anunciar a nuestra nueva gerente de redes sociales, la Sra. Y/N L/N! Nos gustaría felicitarla por esta increíble oportunidad y por su dedicación no solo al Real Madrid, sino también al equipo. ¡Bienvenido Y/N!

-

Real Madrid FC would like to announce our new Social Media manager, Ms. Y/N L/N! We would like to congratulate her on this amazing opportunity and her dedication to not only Real Madrid, but to the team. Welcome Y/N!

INSTAGRAM, present time.

fabriziorom ✔︎

fabriziorom ✔︎ Who’s gonna win 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐞? 🏆

𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐒 ⤵️✨

Atlético or BVB 🆚 Barcelona or Paris Saint-Germain.

Real Madrid or Manchester City 🆚 Arsenal or Bayern.

5,643 comments

username1 Real hardest matchup again

username2 Let's all laugh at vardrid we're going to see 5-1 aggregate again 😂

→ username3 bro thinks barça has been doing shit for the past 5 years 💀 → username4 at least we don’t rely on VAR → username5 at least we have 14 champion league wins

username6 Real Madrid revenge arc coming soon.....

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ WTF

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ guys i can’t do this

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ i’m stressing

username6 someone check on Y/N rn

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ me because we are versing Man City in Champions League.

2,345 comments

judebellingham ✔︎ what is that photo of me.

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ art.

username7 DON’T REMIND ME

username8 girl aren't you supposed to believe in your team?? 💀

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ even it's okay to admit defeat once in a while. → judebellingham ✔︎ BE CONFIDENT BLOODY HELL 😭 → y/n_l/nmadrid IT’S DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE WATCHING 😞😞

tonirudiger ✔︎ BELIEVE IN US 💪 💪 🔥

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ i wish I had your positivity toni 🥹 → tonirudiger ✔︎ don’t worry y/n! we will win! 💪 💪 🔥 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ i think you can stop with the emojis → tonirudiger ✔︎ 👍

y/n_l/nmadrid

y/n_l/nmadrid you guys are in a crisis…. i’m on my way.

2,341 comments

camavinga ✔︎ jude has been influencing you too much.

→ judebellingham ✔︎ and? supernanny is a good show. → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ someone is jelly they haven’t seen peak british tv. → judebellingham ✔︎ it’s telly you fake 🙄

vinijr ✔︎ those headphones look familiar 🤔 🤔

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ shhhhh

username9 what even is the “crisis”???

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ man city. → rodrygo ✔︎ stop this rn.

y/n_l/nmadrid has posted a story 1 hour ago!

realmadrid ✔︎

realmadrid up up and away! ✈️ Onto Manchester 👊

5,423 comments

username10 i still forget it’s y/n making these posts for the team 😭😭

username11 i love how she does a whole 360 with the actual team insta posts than her own 💀

username12 WE DEMAND MORE LUKA POSTS!!

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ I WOULD BUT THE OLD MAN IS GETTING ANNOYED BY IT → judebellingham ✔︎ yeah because you have an entire album dedicated to him and then cry when you think about him retiring??? → username13 EXCUSE ME??? → username14 y/n crying because of modrić being close to retiring 🥹🥹 → username15 WHY ARE WE IGNORING THE FACT SHE HAS AN ALBUM DEDICATED TO HIM??? →username16 because who wouldn’t cry about him retiring → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ @ username16 is right → judebellingham ✔︎ @ username16 i second that → rodrygo ✔︎ @ username16 make that 3. → camavinga ✔︎ @ usernme16 4. → fedevalverde ✔︎ @ username16 5 😅 → lukamodric10 ✔︎ I’m retiring not dying 😓

TWITTER

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realmadrid ✔︎

realmadrid ✔︎ Miss Y/N hard at work! What do you think she is writing? 🤔 ✍️

3,456 comments

username17 how to win against Man City

username18 how to not piss herself watching the game.

ardaguler ✔︎ she works?! 😧 😧

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ you get playing time?! → username19 SHOTS FIRED 😭 → ardaguler ✔︎ :( → username20 WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU 😭😭 → judebellingham ✔︎ be nice to the baby he hasn’t been here that long to know your harmless 😞 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ @ judebellingham don’t say that as if you haven’t been here for less than a year either. → judebellingham ✔︎ this is what you sound like: wah wah wah

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ congrats to my favorite boys!! onto the quaters! 🫶🫶

2,479 comments

username21 she’s actually so unserious 😭

pablogavi imgagine not believing in your own team

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ imagine being on a team that lost 7-2 in the champions league against bayern munich → pablogavi you won’t let barca live this down will you? → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ nope. 🫶

judebellingham now you believe in us??? 😒 😒

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ shush. be happy i even posted about you guys.

tonirudiger ✔︎ working hard! 💪 🔥

lukamodric10 great teamwork! 👏

toni.kr8s what a game 😮

username22 toni and luka are such parents 💀

y/n_l/nmadrid has posted a story 1 hour ago!

judebellingham replied to your story!

judebellingham Y/N YOU ARSE LOOK AT THE GROUP CHAT PLEASE y/n_l/nmadrid … y/n_l/nmadrid should I be scared? Read at 5:32 PM y/n_l/nmadrid wowww okay i see how it is

mxverstappen1 has posted a story 5 minutes ago!

TWITTER

iMessages

INSTAGRAM

f1 ✔︎

f1 ✔︎ Max wins it in Silverstone! 🦁 An outstanding performance once again by the Dutchman! 👏

6,432 comments

username22 another day, another gp max ate.

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ NO WAY THIS IS THE MAN THAT KEPT ME COMPANY WHEN I WAS LOST

→ username23 no way homegirl didn’t recognize THE max vertsappen 💀💀 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ damn i’m sorry my entire sports knowledge is the one i work for 😞

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ lowkey… he kinda fine 🤭

→ judebellingham ✔︎ bloody hell → camavinga ✔︎ we need an intervention for her rn → fedevalverde ✔︎ euthanize her. → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ FEDE??? → usernme24 y/n gets the appeal → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ when you do work with men in sports your forced to see apeal.

username25 DU DU DU DU 🔥 🗣️🔥 🦁 MAX VERSTAPPEN 🏎️🔥 🗣️

maxverstappen1 ✔︎

maxverstappen1 game of padel before race day!

tagged ; landonorris, fernandoalonso, danielricciardo

3125 comments

username25 f1 is just a jobby for him at this point 😭

username26 the goats and some guy named lando

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ is he single

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ that’s a handsome man right there 🥴

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ he can paddle me anyday 😊😊

→ username27 MA’AM ??? → username28 the Real Madrid boys are NOT gonna be happy → judebellingham ✔︎ WHAT IS THIS??? → rodrygo ✔︎ i wish i can bleach my eyes out rn. → camavinga ✔︎ tell luka to giver her meds now. → tonirudiger ✔︎ already messaged him! 🔥 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ CAN I THIRST IN PEACE???

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ fun trip to manchester and london!

2,347 comments

judebellingham ✔︎ we should have left you at the flower shop

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ but then who will make you guys do silly dances that the fans demand 😞

lukamodric10 ✔︎ moja kći ❤️

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ lukita 🥹 → username29 the day luka leaves is the day i die.

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ very pretty lady 🙃

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ 🤭 🤭

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ is she single by chance 🤔

→ brahim ✔︎ woah woah woah → aurelientchm ✔︎ what do you think you are doing? → vinijr ✔︎ back up dutchie → judebellingham ✔︎ away from our girl → tonirudiger ✔︎ no she’s not actually ! → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ yes i am very much single 😚 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ don’t listen to them!

iMessages

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ ; Date #1

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ karting and fifa is my kind of date 🏎️ 🎮

tagged ; y/n_l/nmadrid

5,628 comments

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ ofc you use Barcelona 🙄 🙄

→ maxverstappen1 ✔︎ is it bad to support my favorite team? 😅 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ if you wanna be with me then it is 🤨 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ noted.

toni.kr8s ✔︎ is this why you took the day off??

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ …noooo… → rodrygo ✔︎ she’s lying lock her up in the locker room. → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ no thank you i don’t need to smell you stinkers → camavinga ✔︎ okay we don’t smell THAT bad after a game. → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ 😬 about that..

username30 HELLO???

username31 the sports collab we didn’t know we needed

username32 this was NOT on my 2024 calendar…

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ Date #2

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ busy trying to make a new Madridista 🤍

tagged ; maxverstappen1

3,456 comments

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ you’d look good in blue and red 🥴

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ i was going to agree until i realized what you were doing. → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ i don’t know what you are talking about.

username33 they are lowkey so cute

judebellingham ✔︎ why are you collaborating with the enemy.

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ he literally drives fast cars and is not a barca player?? → ardaguler ✔︎ that’s what he wants you to think 🤫

pablogavi ✔︎ why convert him if you can join him? 😉

→ vinijr ✔︎ get out of OUR pr managers comments. → pablogavi ✔︎ make me → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ i’m literally gonna block both of you if you don’t stop acting like kids. AND THAT’S COMING FROM ME → vinijr ✔︎ …yes ma’am. → pablogavi ✔︎ 😶

rodrygo ✔︎ stop acting like a couple in the stands. it makes me wanna puke.

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL WITH YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

TWITTER

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ Date #3

maxverstappen1 my good luck charm 💙

tagged ; y/n_l/nmadrid

7,346 comments

y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ stooopppp you’re making me blush 🫣

→ maxverstappen1 ✔︎ liefje 🫶 → vinijr ✔︎ ew 🤢 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ sounds like someone is sad and single. → landonorris what’s wrong with being sad and single 😞

redbullracing ✔︎ wonderful job out there 👊 🔥

→ ferrari ✔︎ hey @ redbullracing ! please stop winning so some of us have a chance! 😊 → realmadrid ✔︎ no thanks @ ferrari! we like that the newest golden boy of the family i winning :) → judebellingham ✔︎ oh! → ardaguler ✔︎ :( → lukamodric10 ✔︎ since when was there a new golden boy?!

username33 DU DU DU DU 🔥 🗣️🔥 🦁 MAX VERSTAPPEN 🏎️🔥 🗣️

username34 it’s them against the world

TWITTER

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f1

f1 Max Verstappen and his #1 Fan! 👫❤️

tagged ; maxverstappen1 & y/n_l/nmadrid

6,734 comments

landonorris ✔︎ okay maybe i am sad and single

→ ameliadimz ✔︎ ??? i’m right here 🙄 → landonorris ✔︎ your right my bad 🫶

judebellingham ✔︎ …fine i’ll let this relationship slide.

→ maxverstappen1 ✔︎ am i bellingham approved?? 😮 → judebellingham ✔︎ don’t get your hopes up mate. i’m doing it for her not you 😑 → y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ jude 🥹🥹

lukamodric10 ✔︎ ti razbiti ona srce, odrezat ću ti kurac.

→ y/n_l/nmadrid ✔︎ i’m

→ maxverstappen1 ✔︎ yes sir.

→ username35 ✔︎ HELLO???

→ username35 ✔︎ LUKA??

→ rodrygo ✔︎ i don’t know much croatian but i know that is not good.

TRANSLATIONS

cro: ti razbiti ona srce, odrezat ću ti kurac.

eng: you break her heart, i’ll cut your dick off.

[astonmartingf]

WE COULD HAVE A GOOD TIME —

— you ended up on this random stranger's bed and suddenly the next thing you know you're moving in with him to raise a baby

P1 ★ WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU KISS A GIRL?

amgf implied sex, unprotected sex, ons thingy? look don't do this in real life, even if the person is as hot as jenson!!!! use plan b and stay safe! okay hehehehe so this was supposed to be the first part but i had internal issues so i made that part zero, enjoy this 👍

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

"You're earlier than expected, I assume things went well with her?" Mark raises his head, greeting Jenson who just arrived.

Jenson shifts to the side revealing the woman from the night before. "She's here with me actually..."

You reveal yourself from the side, waving at the two drivers sitting at the table. "Hello, I'm YN." Stretching your hand, before taking a seat next to Jenson and the Spaniard from across the table.

"I'm sorry if this is unconventional for you, but I wanted to get over with the NDA before you left." Jenson starts a conversation with you, ensuring to keep his voice down to a minimum knowing both drivers aren't exactly trying to hide that they're listening in to his conversation with you.

You shake your head waving your hands off, "No worries, I guess it's better eating while waiting instead of being stuck in the hotel room waiting in awkward silence. It is unusual since one night stands usually involve more fucking than talking—"

The driver beside Jenson coughs, caught off guard at your statement causing you to chuckle at his reaction. "But, considering the situation from last night... this was probably inevitable." You shrug it off continuing to eat the waffle in front of you.

The Spaniard beside you raised his brows, "You seem normal about this, no offense but have you done this before?"

You nod your head, "One night stands, not much but I'm fairly knowledgeable in NDA's, I'm studying law. And before you get worried, no I won't find a loophole to talk about this, I can maybe help you craft up a good NDA if there are clauses lacking. But considering you offering the NDA maybe it's you who have done this before?"

You turn around to face Jenson with raised brows, causing the other drivers chuckling under their breaths.

"No! Like you said, considering the things we've done last night— it's safe to say this was needed." Jenson quickly deflected the rush of blood pushing through his cheeks, it could be from the embarrassment or from thinking of last night's activities.

You shrug your shoulders in silence, "Well, I guess I need to exercise my silence, with the whole NDA thing— and I don't kiss and tell." You wink in his direction, leaving Jenson jaw slack, shaking his head in disbelief.

★ WE COULD HAVE A GOOD TIME — @cosmoscoffeee @astral-cowboy @minkyungseokie @ximaginx @thearchieves @scuderiadevils @black-fireproofs @evie-119 @hannannannannannah @evesfile @vi0letblu3s @judelina @siannaplmn @myescapefromthislife @ivyvlair @persiar9 @hsfallingsky @asmoothoperator @vettelsbees @hc-dutch @tallrock35 @akkklys @c-losur3 @mael1pastry @booksandflowrs @champomiel @jeffs77 @escapism-writer @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @whatislifebutlemons @snapeeballsack @casperlikej @woozarts @hellowgoodbye @tallrock35 @lady-bennet

[spideyhexx]

double penetration w sej and coryo im begging you 😭😭😭

i’m so sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask, please ignore if it is, but could you perhaps do sej and coryo DP reader? I just think it would be so hot and i would love to know their dynamics when they’re both fucking reader

I will just ask because I need it , double penetration with coryo and sej .... I wanna ride coryo while sej fucks me from behind

kk👍

mdni - fem!reader

The night would have been planned. Nerves of excitement radiate off of all three of you as you're tugged to the bed by Sej who's set on preparing you for both him and Coryo. He'd use his fingers to stretch out both of your holes, getting you to at the very least one orgasm before he's tugging Coryo to the bed to join you two.

"that's it, baby...fuck," Coryo hisses out as you sink down on his cock. He's laid on his back, holding your hips to keep you pressed down on him. Sej is behind you, rubbing your back as you adjust to Coryo's cock deep inside you.

You rub your hands over Coryo's chest and he smiles, "all good?" You give him a nod and Sej presses gently on your back, signaling you to lean forward. The gentle touches from both of them make you smile, tucking your head to Coryo's neck, leaving small kisses there as he tries his absolute hardest not to thrust up into you as Sej moves in closer.

He kneels behind you, his large hands rubbing over your ass and spreading your cheeks. "You tell us to stop if 's too much, okay baby?" Sej's voice is like honey as it reaches your ears and you nod, Coryo keeping one of his hands on your head, caressing it. Sej spits down onto your hole, rubbing it in and slipping his finger in with ease since he's already stretched you out a little. "good girl," he murmurs, kissing your hip bone as Coryo shifts beneath you, a low groan emitting from his lips.

"Keep still, Coryo," Sejanus reminds him and Coryo rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, 'm trying. She's so fuckin' tight." Sej lets out a breath at that, his throbbing cock aching for you already as he watches and feels the way you tighten around his finger. It feels like forever as Sejanus adds a second finger, your cunt tightening around Coryo and you're shocked at how well he's holding back. You kiss up his neck, mewling when Sej removes his fingers and replaces the touch with the tip of his cock, rubbing it over your hole that clenches around nothing.

Coryo's eyes are squeezed shut as he keeps himself still, but when you whine, Sej's tip pushing into your second hole at the slowest speed he can, Coryo captures your lips with his. You moan into his mouth, gripping onto him tightly, your nails digging into his shoulders as Sej spreads your cheeks more, watching his dick push into you. He lets out a grunt, eyes snapping up to his two lovers as they kiss. "This okay, baby?"

You nod but Coryo tsks, "Words for us, baby."

"is okay," is what you mutter and Coryo gives Sejanus a quick nod to tell him to keep going. Your body feels so overwhelmingly warm, your lower half stuffed by them as Sejanus sinks most of himself into your ass. You've done this with Sejanus before, but never with your pussy stuffed. Never with Coryo's cock snug inside of you.

Sejanus keeps still for a bit, rubbing his hand on your lower back as you adjust to the feeling of both of them, but there's no way to really do so. Your muscles relax a little, but any slight movement they (Coryo) make, it causes you to clench around them, a moan tumbling from your lips.

In no time, they do begin to move with your go-ahead. Coryo first, slowly grinding up against you more than thrusting. Sej matches his rhythm so you're feeling them back and forth, letting them rock your body between them in a slow, but pulsating pace that is making you see stars. Your face is pressing into Coryo, muffling the pretty noises that fall from your lips.

"You take us both so well, angel," Coryo mumbles, rubbing the back of your head, his eyes on Sejanus' as he groans. "Wish you could see Sej. He's lovin' your ass. Bet you're holdin' him so tight." You don't even respond to Coryo, whining against him.

"Should rub her, Coryo," Sej grunts out and Coryo reaches his hand between your bodies to rub at your clit. Your body wants to jolt, but Sej grips your hips to keep you still. He sees the shake in your thighs and he slips one hand to soothe over it.

"Fuck, you're squeezing me so tight. Need to breathe, baby, I don't wanna cum yet. Can you do that?" Coryo says, his eyes still on Sej's.

When you don't respond, Coryo chuckles, "Can you even hear me?" Sejanus leans down, his chest almost touching your back as he ruts his hips into you a little quicker. Coryo doesn't even need to move anymore, Sej's movements causing enough friction for his cock.

Sej tries to peek at your face as he's leaned over, "babydoll, all okay?" His voice is so soft, so pretty and you catch his eyes. "Y-yes, 's good, fuck 's so good," you end your words in a whine, a strained moan leaving Coryo's lips but it's cut off when Sej kisses him. You see it, the way Sejanus smiles into the kiss and the way Coryo's jaw works, trying to feign control over it, but you know Sej is the one who has it when his teeth bite down on Coryo's bottom lip. Your head tucks back to Coryo's neck, kissing it sloppily, your mind too hazy to kiss it properly. Sej's cock stretches you out so nicely but it's still so tight, he's more grinding into you than fucking, and it just feels like heaven.

""m gonna come," Coryo mumbles against Sej's lips and you feel his fingers at your clit falter for a moment before picking up their speed.

"Let our girl come first, idiot," Sej chuckles, out of breath, and he pants as he rocks all of your bodies in a faster rhythm. You feel both of them look at you as you hide your face, your teeth biting on the side of your lip.

"Oh she's gonna come," Coryo whispers, gently squeezing your clit between two of his fingers before circling the pads of them against it again. With one more thrust of Sej's hips, Coryo's cock twitches inside of you and you gush around him, your orgasm overtaking every single sense in your body. You don't even realize how tight you're holding on to him. Coryo's moan is higher in pitch as he releases with you, smiling blissfully at the feeling. Sej ruts his hips a few more times before he's coming into your ass, leaning his head down against your shoulder and kissing it, mumbling, "thank you, baby," over and over.

They'd stay still with you for a moment, both of them kissing you wherever they can reach before Sej pulls out first, watching the way your hole clenches around nothing as soon as his cock is out of you. He'd look down and see your cunt leaking with Coryo's cum and it makes Sej yearn for the feeling of you again, but he pushes it aside.

Coryo is also ready to go at it again, his cock half hard as you move off of him, but Sej is already cleaning you up, doting on you like the beautiful, perfect woman you are and Coryo must, needs to join in on it. He knows at this point there's no need for competition or proving himself, but Coryo wants to comfort you too. So while Sej cleans you up, Coryo gets you water, a little snack even, fixing up the pillows for you to rest as comfortably as possible. Sej and Coryo shower you with kisses after too, it's almost overwhelming, having both of them next to you, kissing your face and neck, and smiling at your giggles, but it feels right.

let's chat about coryo, sej, or both, here :)

[lewkwoodnco]

Falling For You - Lockwood x Reader

“First person to laugh loses.”

”Not fair! I’m always laughing when you’re around. You’re bloody ridiculous.”

”Fine. First person to…er, feel something, loses. Deal?”

It wasn’t a question as much as it was a challenge. She hesitated. He took a sip from his mug. She let go of the breath she was holding.

“Deal.”

a/n: tfw you almost die in the arms of your future employer :) rip lockwood and co, never an agents first choice be it in canon or fanon ok ill stop now also just to be clear we’re all ignoring how much the title sucks ass okay god only gave out a limited number of brain cells and we can’t ALL be as creative as @bella-rose29 (will make a separate post on this a little later, not enough space here) (but also she was SICKKK for coming up w the title deck the halls (and not your partner) ok didn’t mean to turn this into a belle appreciation post but 👍)

warnings/tropes: fluff fluff FLUFF, this is about as fluffy as it gets from me ashdkd, cringy pick up lines overload, also I declare plagiarism (?) of some rlly popular incorrect quotes, you'll know it when you read them

word count: 2.6k!

TAGLIST | MASTERLIST

She and Lucy were in the kitchen, putting the kettle on and waiting for the boys to reach home. The four of them had split up to get some errands done that morning before breakfast - she and Lucy went to collect the payment for a few jobs, while Lockwood and George dropped off some paperwork at DEPRAC headquarters. Lucy put the kettle on while she refilled their teabag jar, and a minute later the boys walked in.

George was telling Lockwood off for something, who wasn't looking too sorry for whatever it was that he had done, though he clearly cared enough to try to suppress his giggles.

"Those forms took me hours, Lockwood. I wasn't about to let you drop them into some slush."

"I keep telling you, I wasn't going to drop them."

"How would you know when you were too busy making an ass of yourself?"

"I haven't seen a good pickup line in a while, George. You found it funny too."

"Yes, and the threat of you chucking our forms was downright hilarious."

She handed out the mugs of tea.

"What pickup line?"

"It was just a DEPRAC ad. Something like 'Are you a wraith? Because you have me love-locked.' Just a reminder of some quick signs of a visitor presence for Valentine's Day." 

She meandered over to where Lockwood was standing at the kitchen counter, a little too casual. He immediately snapped up whatever he was scribbling. She looked mildly (read: exaggeratedly) injured, but he just gave her one of his winning smiles. Really, she was well within her rights to be suspicious.

"S'that?"

"A bill."

"What bill?"

"Nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried."

"Good."

"Show me the bill."

"You're adorable."

It was a poor excuse of an attempt at a distraction, as she immediately started trying to snatch it away. Lockwood just held the folded paper above his head, trying to pry his jacket out of her yanking hands. After a minute or so of vehement struggling, the scuffle ended the way all of their scuffles ended - her playing at sour grapes.

"Oh! Go boil-yer-head. I don't even want to see that bill anyway."

He slotted the letter into an envelope smoothly as George cut in.

"Speaking of bills, hopefully, we'll be able to pay more of them off soon. Couples like to go away for Valentine's, so it's the perfect time to get any lingering visitors taken care of. We should put an ad in the paper, like DEPRAC."

That set Lockwood off again, and George groaned. As he got up to get another biscuit, she conspiratorially turned to Lockwood.

"Y'know, for someone who's so tickled by pickup lines, I bet you'd be terrible at them."

"Not more terrible than you."

"I beg to differ!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

“First person to laugh loses.”

”Not fair! I’m always laughing when you’re around. You’re bloody ridiculous.”

”Fine. First person to…er, feel something, loses. Deal?”

It wasn’t a question as much as it was a challenge. She hesitated. He took a sip from his mug. She let go of the breath she was holding.

“Deal.”

Their bet had taken a back burner in her mind while she was preparing for their case that night, but she was still immediately suspicious when she walked into the kitchen to see Lockwood innocently snacking on a bowl of raisins.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing! Can't a guy eat his raisins?" He silently proferred the bowl to her. She narrowed her eyes. 

"No thanks."

"How about a date?"

"When did we get - oh. Ha ha." There was a mischievous crinkle in Lockwood's eye. "Sneaky. I was busy preparing for our case, like a proper agent."

"Hmm, excuses, excuses."

"Fine. If George finds out you haven't read tonight's case file, you're on your own."

"NO no no no please please please -"

She prepped a few pickup lines before they left, just enough to stop Lockwood from becoming completely unbearable.

"Are you a visitor? Because you've been haunting my dreams."

She scrunched up her nose. "Boo. That's terrible."

"You try coming up with a visitor-themed one. They're all so horrible."

She paused for a minute.

"Are you a Lurker? 'Cause you're making my heart race."

"...no one likes a show-off," he grumbled, and she smiled to herself as they continued rooting through boxes, looking for a potential Source.

"Your hand looks heavy. Could I hold it for you?"

"What's it like to be the most gorgeous person in this room?" That one got a good laugh out of him.

"Might be more flattering if my competition wasn't a Raw Bones. You’re pretty and I’m cute. Wanna be pretty cute together?"

"If you and I were socks, we'd make a great pair."

She revelled in the huge smile that lit up his face. She knew he'd get a kick out of that one.

She hadn't expected to have as much fun with their game as she did. They recounted their highlights to Lucy and George on the way home, which made for an entertaining end to the case. As Lucy and George put away their coats, Lockwood lingered behind, looking at her as if there was something he wanted to say, but couldn't quite find the words. She became even more alarmed when he placed a hand on her shoulder, because of how serious he looked.

"Is everything okay?" 

He took a shaky breath and tightened his grip on her shoulder ever so slightly.

"If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I'll give it right back."

The line itself wasn't particularly outrageous, but in the darkness by the door, with their faces in the shadows and him holding her close, she momentarily forgot how to breathe.

"Good one," she whispered.

He gave her a sloping smile and retreated into the kitchen. She stood there for a moment, thinking about the warmth on her shoulder, as if his hand was still there.

"Did it hurt?"

"When I fell from heaven?"

"When you fell down the stairs. Right in front of us. It's been ten minutes and you haven't even gotten up yet."

With a strangled wheeze, he righted himself, looking more than a little stupid with his affronted expression and hair sticking up in all directions. They were on a case, and Lockwood had been a bit too close to the stairs whilst investigating the death glow on the landing. It had been quite a painful-looking rollercoaster of a fall with many bumps as he flailed for the railings, ending with a muffled scream.

"I was checking for broken bones."

"For ten minutes? Do you even have that many bones?"

He had an oily smirk on his face, though it was mostly nullified by his slightly crossed eyes.

"I've got...so many bones, I could give you a...wait. No. Hey lady, do you want a...bone? If you were a bone, you'd be in my...body...my body has all the bones...hang on. Okay, got it. Bones....fuck."

"...concussion?"

"Nuh-uh."

That was the moment his knees chose to buckle under him, and the three of them hurried to hold him upright. Even though he kept insisting he was fine, he was looking far too pale and woozy, so they flagged down a cab and pushed Lockwood into it. After a quick round of rock paper scissors, she joined him in the cab while George and Lucy got to stay to finish the job.

It had been a bit of a challenge to fumble for the key to the front door with the dead weight that was Lockwood compressing her spine, but she somehow managed. She tried her best to keep track of all of his long limbs after he knocked his head on the side of the door frame, groaning again. She dumped him onto their living room sofa, going down with him in the process, and with some difficulty peeled herself out of his grip. The bump had clearly taken quite a bit out of him, for by the time she returned with a blanket, he had completely passed out.

With some difficulty, she wrestled his rapier off of him and draped the blanket over him. She put away her own gear and rapier and curled up with a book on the armchair opposite the sofa. It was odd to see Lockwood sleeping. And even more odd to see him doing it so peacefully, like all thoughts and worries had been knocked clean out of his head. Much like her thoughts, the first time they met.

It hadn’t even been her goddamn fault. She had been lugging around her uncle’s rapiers since hers had been sent for cleaning and it was starting to make her arm ache. She deserved a little lean, no doubt. Only, what she thought was the door frame had been the door itself, so when her then-future employer had opened the door, she stumbled right into his arms.

And then promptly fell out of them when he let her go by surprise. To his credit, he was superfluously apologetic and sympathetic, and kept asking if her head was alright throughout the interview. It was a little annoying, if she were entirely honest, but she was grateful when that sympathy translated into a job, because all coherent thoughts in her head were lying somewhere on their front door runner.

As much as she tried not to think about the incident since Lockwood showed no sign of doing so himself, it kept her up at night more than she'd like to admit. But it had also been rather liberating, as there was little else she could do that would be any worse.

As if hearing her thoughts, Lockwood began to stir after an hour or so, opening his eyes blearily. She instinctively put her book down and crouched next to the sofa, where she immediately felt awkward. After a moment's hesitation, she placed her hand on his forehead, and they blinked at each other in confusion.

"How're you feeling?"

"Great." He cleared his throat, which barely helped his hoarse voice. "Chipper."

"Are you sure? Feeling chilly?"

"No, I'm fine. Are you a construction worker?"

"...huh?"

"Because you are building."

"What."

"I win."

He turned to his side and buried his face into his cushion with a satisfied look on his face. 

"Oh, Lockwood. I don't think..."

He pulled his head out of the cushion alarmingly fast. That couldn't have been good for his neck. "Ohhh, too good for my pickup lines now, eh?"

"I...what?"

"I get a bump on my head and you don't like my pickup lines no more?"

"Why do you have a Brooklyn accent?"

"You's got a Brooklyn accent."

"Okay, now you're just throwing a tantrum."

He fussed for a few more minutes, muttering out of the corner of his mouth or into the cushion, but eventually calmed down. As his eyes fluttered close, his breathing becoming long and even, she quietly got up to leave.

"Just so you know...I do think you're building."

The Brooklyn accent was gone, and though his low murmur was comfortably familiar, something in it sent a spark running through her brain.

"I think you're building too."

She could have sworn he had a small smile before his mouth relaxed as he drifted off again.

She didn't see much of him after that, given how much rest he needed, and the reprieve from their game was a welcome relief. The pickup lines didn't slide off her tongue as easily when she meant them as much as she did now. Still, she couldn't hide from him forever, and ran into him in the kitchen a few nights later.

"Oh. Hey."

He held up the biscuit tin. "Hello. Catching up on my biscuit rations."

She smiled. "Feeling better?"

"Definitely. A little sick of lying about, but I think I've finally got my head on straight."

He smiled, and the tension between them melted. She smiled back.

"Must have been scary, having your brain go wonky like that." 

"It was...wild. I don't even know how I had the presence of mind to put my rapier away."

Her cheeks burned as she pointedly rummaged through their pantry for a snack while Lockwood brewed tea for the both of them. They sat at the kitchen table in silence, slowly sipping their tea as they ignored the elephant in the room. That is, until Lockwood broached the subject.

“Did it hurt?”

She put her mug down. “Lockwood.”

“Did it hurt?” He pressed, firmly.

“I’ve already heard this one.”

“Just - humour me for a minute, won’t you?”

She looked at the little she could see of his face, given how close they were sitting, and gave a small sigh.

“So. Did it hurt?”

“When I fell from heaven?”

“When you fell into my life.” 

He lightly squeezed her hand, it was only then that she realised that they were holding hands. She choked on her breath in a mildly undignified manner, but with the proximity and the unexpected answer, she was well and truly taken aback. She waited for the embarrassment to kick in. There were a lot of things to be embarrassed about at that moment - how he could probably see every imperfection on her face, how he could probably tell how nervous she was getting from how clammy her palm must be, and of course that he remembered their dreadfully embarrassing first encounter.

But the shame never came. If anything, she felt oddly…touched. There wasn’t anything embarrassing about the memory anymore. It was…as much as it pained her to admit it…slightly romantic. She looked away from his face, shaking her head slightly, staring at their gripping hands. So easy it was to hold onto each other in the shadows, but terrifying in the daylight. Scratch that, it was terrifying to see herself holding his hand just as tightly as he held hers. Maybe he did compel…something in her.

His hand disappeared into his pocket, and a moment later he was pulling out a familiar, weathered envelope. 

"I've never...I've never asked anyone to be my Valentine. Never knew how it worked. Still don't really know how it works. So I tried writing it all down, and..." Lockwood frowned at the loopy yet measured scrawls in front of him. He sighed in defeat, crumpling the letter. "...and I still don't know how it works."

She swallowed through the lump in her throat. "Me neither. But..." she tore her eyes away from the table, looking at his face with his emotions stacked plain as day. "I think we know enough."

She curled her fingers into his. Years ago, she hadn't thought knowing if she was in love would ever be an issue, but for so many years she struggled to find the love they wrote books, songs and poetry about. But sitting here now, in the dim light of the kitchen, with a person whose face she could trace in her sleep, she realised Little Her had had it right all along.

“I always thought you were very nice to me in that interview. A little too nice.”

“You didn’t hear the way you screamed. I thought you were going down with a heart attack.”

TAGLIST: @dangelnleif @elenianag080 @snoopyluver20 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @avdiobliss @mitskiswift99 @ahead-fullofdreams @neewtmas @mischivana @houseoftwistedspirits

[damazcuz]

I don't think people responding to the scrambled "uh oh, we got caught" Tumblr AI announcement with "just nightshade and glaze all the art you post guys! it's your own fault if you don't do that small step! It's ok we'll get through this!" are Getting It:

Everything has already been scraped, including the account you haven't been able to access since 2015. Yes even the private, locked sideblogs of all your old art. Did you glaze it? did you nightshade it? in 2015? can you log in and check? no? Opted in.

This also includes any writing, creative or otherwise, posted to Tumblr. Did you nightshade the poetry and fanfiction you posted to Tumblr on your old account in 2018? why not? not a plan-aheader huh? Opted in!

It's opt in by default and by design. People who left Tumblr ages ago will likely not hear about this and won't know to regain account access and opt out. People who have died won't be able to log in and opt out. People who deleted past accounts or sideblogs won't be able to log in and opt out. People whose content is reposted here from Pixiv or other external sources by unrelated third parties won't have any way to say "hey half of that blog is MY stuff. Opt ME out."

Sorry. They just have everything ever put on the site. And you didn't opt out in 2015 when you lost access to your login email, so it's included. This is on purpose because they don't WANT people to be able to opt out, they want people to stay opted in saying "well my art sucks so I'm poisoning the data model 👍" while posting jokes and creative writing, they WANT you to say "well I'm unaffected" and keep posting photos and text and stuff. Midjourney wants that and Tumblr wants to do anything it can to satisfy Midjourney and scrape some cash out of that deal.

I'm sorry because I love this place too, but genuinely the decisions being made here are business decisions being put into place by a company trying to squeeze the last drops of blood out of a stone. Tumblr is not your friend. Staff is not your friend. Automattic is not your friend. The CEO has hopefully PROVEN he is not anyone's friend. This is a business first and a product that they are selling, not to you and me, but to advertisers and partners. Tumblr will ensure that Tumblr users see their ads and supply them data.

Frankly I do not trust this company or this website and I cannot in good faith just believe that they're going to look at my opt out checkbox and say "okay! ^_^ we will remove everything Dama has ever said or done from our AI scrape. we promise to do it!" and then actually do it. They already have the data. They can just claim that whatever is produced through machine learning based in part off of my data is unrelated, came from other sources, etc. I do not have trust in this website. I don't see how anyone could at this point.

I feel like I'm watching a trainwreck from the inside and no one wants to get out of their seats and try hopping off into the safe grassy field. Wait, they say. Let's see if the train just climbs back onto the tracks, they say. The fire and explosions are all part of the process, they say. Eventually people will stop panicking or dying and it'll be a smooth ride, they say. Just look at how bright the horizon is.