#sorry this took so long i've been super busy and some of these were harder to answer than I expected tbh

[angelstate]

(Don't) Say You're Sorry, Please.

Pairing: Peter Parker x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending!

Warnings: harsh argument, cursing, mention of alcohol and reader getting drunk, explicit emotions, symptoms of mental illness.

Summary: you and peter were no longer happy, it took a big fight, harsh words and some time apart to realize how much love you felt for one another.

Words: 3k!

you didn't know how it got to this point, when the calmness of a silly discussion turned into a heated argument and a silent competition of who could scream harder horrible things to the other.

It got to the point where you had been crying for so long it was hard to breath and your eyes sting every time you blinked, it felt as if your stuck in the middle of a panic attack and couldn't get out of it no matter what you tried to do.

You didn't even remember when everything went wrong and you ended up here, it was like all your memories had been swept away and now there was a recognizable emptiness that the both of you shared.

you knew everything but could remember nothing.

you didn't had what it took to fight like this with Peter. You didn't have the voice, the feelings or the calculated thoughts to defend yourself.

You threw weak attempts of calming the situation but nothing worked so you let the venom that was boiling in your chest spill over and make you say things you would regret.

The love was long forgotten.

"just shut the fuck up, peter! for once in your fucking life shut the fuck up. You aren't the voice of truth all the fucking time, sometimes you are in the wrong, get over it for fucks sake!" You screamed at him and pulled your hair in an attempt to let out some of the anger you felt.

"i should shut up?! You're the one who acts like a fucking bitch all the goddamn time. You are fucking insufferable, i swear to god sometimes i can't fucking understand why i even put up with your shit!" peter screamed back at you, he was pointing at you the entire time. blaming you for this.

"you put up with my shit?! I'm the one who has a fucking super hero for a boyfriend. If anyone is putting up with shit is fucking me!! You always get hurt and put yourself in danger. you run to saves stranger from small fucking crimes, but who takes care of me?! You love playing hero but always end up getting hurt, What is going to take for you to realize that you are not prepared to save anyone!!" You screamed as loud as you could everything that came to your mind.

You were so done with this shit, with the argument, with the super hero bullshit. It was draining, being there to help peter get healthy every time he got hurt stopped being out of love but obligation.

While he took care of the city you were left to take care of him, but who was making the time to take care of you? Nobody. Nobody was taking care of you.

"i'm not prepared?! I have saved the world more than once! I've gone through hell trying to keep everyone save!! Im more than capable of saving people from small shitty crimes!" peter said trough gritted teeth.

"then why, tell why the fuck you can never help me?! Why you can never save me?! Am i not worth your stupid help!!?" you felt tears starting to leave your eyes harder than ever.

You knew that there was no way you could ever recover from this fight and be like you were before; this was a breaking point that was long time coming in the relationship.

"i don't help you?! every second that I'm not being spiderman im by your side fucking teaching you to not fuck up like you always do!" Peter screamed and raised his hand, closed his fist before letting his arm fall back down.

"you are so full of shit" this time you didn't shouted, your voice was trembling and soft, your throat wasn't prepared for any more screaming.

"you are so full of shit, Parker. we are never together, if you're not being spiderman you're busy doing shit to get better at being a super hero. You are never here for me. Im sorry that when i see you after a long time i want to tell you how my life has been. Im so fucking sorry i want you to be here for me." Your eyes filled with tears again your vision was blurry because of it but you didn't let any more tears fall. This wasn't worth the pain.

"im full of shit for being a super hero? Im so sorry if I'm not here because im saving people's life. I have so much shit going on that the last thing i wanna hear is more problems you want me to fix. I am so fucking sorry i can't fix your fucking life, you won't believe how much bigger problems i have to deal with outside of this fucking room" peter spoke his voice was stern.

In that moment, you realized something. You weren't his first priority. You weren't even on the list of things he worried about.

Why were you still here with him? Why haven't you walked away from a place you clearly weren't wanted in?

You loved peter so much to the point you forgot that he should love you too to be together.

"i think we need a break from each other" you whispered and rubbed your eyes to get rid of the tears.

Silence.

Peter didn't said nothing, just stood in the middle of your room looking completely lost. his eyes for the first time tonight filled with tears and his lower lip quivered in what you could only describe as pure sorrow.

"you don't mean that" peter said and tried to get close to you but you took a step back and embraced yourself.

"it's for the best, peter." you reassured him. it was really for the best. This time it had gotten too far to not notice the two of you needed space.

"no no no, I'm sorry, ok? Im really sorry. Please don't break up with me" peter pleaded.

"don't say you're sorry, please. we just need some time alone." you hugged peter one last time.

"we'll fix this, right?" Peter whispered in your ear and tighten his hold on you. It was so hard to let go.

you couldn't respond, no didn't knew if this could be fixed.

peter just took in your silence and kissed you for the last time, just way to promise to not let the relationship die tonight.

___________

Three weeks had passed since the fight.

thinking back to that night felt like a dream, you could feel the guilt of everything you said weight heavier and heavier every day.

You regretted everything you said, every word you let out that night. you may have ruined one of the only good things in your life out of pure selfishness.

peter and you rarely talked, there was nothing to say, no. There was too much to say and that scared the both of you. what if one you had realized the relationship was going to be fixable?

The fear was ingrained in the both of your minds, both of you suffering because of the same fear.

"how is she?" Peter asked mj, who was concentrated eating her lunch.

"your ex girlfriend?" Mj said sarcastically and looked at peter with boredom.

"we didn't broke up" peter said quickly, the title of ex girlfriend made his heart clench in pain.

"she's sad and doesn't look good at all, Parker" she said honestly and looked at her food before continuing.

"if your dumbass checked on her you would know that" she said and took a bite of a mini carrot.

"we are taking some time apart" peter defend himself, it was true but that wasn't the reason he checked up on you. He was scared of seeing what the decision made to you.

He had shattered since that night, crying anytime he was left alone with his thoughts. He feared to see you in a worst condition than he was. Scared to see how his words bruised you.

"yeah? maybe try spend a life time apart because you don't want to see how you left her, Parker." Mj said in bitterness, you were her best friend and seeing you in pain because of him didn't sat right with her. She understood the situation but would always make the people that hurt you hurt too.

Peter just sat there, looking worried and sad.

You were feeling like shit, every inch of your mind was filled with sadness and your body reflected your state of mind so clearly it was embarrassing to go out looking like the human version of sadness.

right now, you were in one of the stalls of the girls bathroom, trying to eat your lunch but you had no appetite, you stopped feeling hungry two weeks ago.

You couldn't eat, so you took supplements like candy, trying to keep your body healthy but it didn't worked. You lost weight and looked pale.

But it didn't really mattered, nothing felt like it mattered. In your mind, you had no reason whatsoever to care about yourself or anything at all.

_____________

It was Friday night and you were drunk as fuck. not in a party, just in the solitude of your living room, lit cigarette in hand and a tall glass filled all the way with pure vodka.

the tv was on, the movie 'The perks of being a Wallflower' playing but the sound acting as a background noise because all your attention was on your phone, waiting for a message from him to pop up.

How much you wished you had the courage to message him first.

You took a big sip from the glass and felt the familiar warm spread in your chest, your empty stomach had been suffering all day and now was experiment the harshest treatment you had ever put it through.

Not even in your high school years you were careless enough to not eat anything before drinking strong alcohol.

"say you're sorry, please?" you whispered to yourself, trying to force yourself to call him, to admit your mistakes and beg for forgiveness.

You spend two hours staring at your phone, all the vodka in you glass had already disappeared and the entire bottle followed soon after; before you even realize it

"I'll say I'm sorry, please forgive me..." you whispered and pressed to call peter. you put the call on speaker and held your phone close to your mouth.

You had your knees to your chest and had wrapped a blanket around yourself, trying to stay calm and collected.

"hello?" Peter answered the call.

"hi...pete" you said, voice dripping evidence of your drunken state.

"how are you, y/n?" he asked and you heard how he sat on his bed from the way the springs made a uncomfortable sound.

"i'm.. I'm drunk" you admitted and laughed a little.

"I, I really wanted to talk to you, pete." you're voice broke, and your eyes glossed over with tears.

"I wanted to talk to you too, flower" the pet name made your heart clench.

"really?" you asked, your tone filled with the warm that the pet name created in your soul.

"yeah, i was thinking about you, i used my telepathic powers and you called" he joked and you giggled.

"thanks for using your powers, pete" you took a deep breath.

"i called because i want to tell you something" you said and heard how peter took a deep breath.

"tell me, flower. Im all ears" he spoke sweetly, so sweetly you felt your heart clench again.

"i just, i wanted to tell you that i'm sorry, i'm really sorry about everything i said when we were fighting." you took a pause and to stop the tears from falling.

"i don't 'up with you', i honestly don't even know why i said that. you are amazing to be around and i was wrong for saying differently. you're a great super hero and the fact that you put yourself in danger and get hurt just to save other people is admirable. You're more than prepared to be the biggest super hero the world has known" you let out a shaky breath, your eyes betrayed you and multiple tears fell from your eyes.

"and you're right, you do help me to not do stupid things. I just...i just feel like i'm not worth it enough of more attention than the one you give me to save me from my stupidity."

"and lastly, you're not full of shit. That's me, not you. I know you have bigger problems than giving me attention just because i feel like im entitled to your time. I feel really guilty for everything i said. Forgive me, please?" You finished speaking.

Peter was speechless, and his heart already broken heart, ended breaking completely when you bed for his forgiveness.

You beg him for forgiveness? how could you feel sorry for saying the things he needed to hear to wake up and realize he wasn't a good boyfriend? You opened his eyes when you spoke up about how abandoned you felt because of him never being there for you.

If anyone should apologize was him.

"flower..." Peter sighed.

"yes?" You responded, voice shaky and anxious.

"I'm sorry for everything i said too. I shouldn't have called you a bitch. You're not insufferable, your the sweetest and loveliest person i have ever met. i'm grateful that i have you in my life."

"and you're right about me never being there to give you anything other than help, i love you and i thought that just because you knew that i didn't have to remind you every day. you have all the right to tell me how you feel or what you're going through and i should always be there to hear you. I know that you don't want me to fix your life or your problems. You only wanted to be heard but i didn't care to listen at the time."

"thanks for believing I'm a great super hero and I'm sorry that I've been saving people without thinking about how me getting hurt so much and running to you to heal me affected you. I've been selfish in our relationship just because i wanted to be selfless and save people. Forgive me, please"

Peter asked and you took a deep breath.

"if i forgive you will you forgive me too?" you asked back, you also wanted to be forgiven.

"of course, flower" peter answered and your heart skipped a beat.

"then, i forgive you, pete." you said and felt a smile forming on your face.

"i forgive you too, flower." Peter smiled too.

All the weight you have been carrying on your shoulders was lifted just like the light on your soul, you could finally live again. No more sorrow and pain.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" You asked with hope.

"yeah, we'll see each other tomorrow" peter made the plan of showing up at your apartment tomorrow, make everything right and give you all the affection and time you deserved.

______________

(a few months later)

you were sleeping peacefully in your bed, wrapped up in blankets and softly breathing. It was spring break and you have spent all day cleaning so you were having your well deserved rest.

that was until you starting hearing something hitting your window, being a light sleeper you woke up almost immediately, you checked the time on you phone '01:23am'

Still being half asleep you didn't even thought about what who hitting against your window because it was obvious, you stood up, walked over to the window, opened it and turned around to lie down again in your bed.

"hi baby" you said when you were back in your bed, this time your back against the wall to give peter space to lay down with you.

"hi flower" peter pressed the spider in the middle of his suit making loose and fall of his body.

He picked up the hoodie that was on your desk and put it on before laying down beside you, almost instantly he hugged you and you wrapped one of your legs around his waist to bring him closer to you while one of your arms wrapped around his next. Your free hand started caressing his hair sofly.

"how was night patrol?" you asked, your eyelids already closing in tiredness.

"it was calm, i just helped a few drunk guys get home" peter said and rubbing your back, drawing random shapes with his fingers.

"that's good" you whispered.

"go to sleep, flower." peter whispered against your ear and tighten his hold on your waist making you be totally pressed against him, your face in the crook of his neck.

"goodnight spidey" was the last thing you said before falling asleep.

"goodnight flower, i love you" peter kissed the top of your head before falling asleep too.

The both of you finally being the happy couple you deserved to be. The love you felt for each other was no longer forgotten in the pain of misunderstood emotions, now it was more alive than ever, burning and keeping you warm and safe from all the sorrow you had to go through to be happy with peter again.

Everything was fixed and was better than the first time you started to love each other.

There was no longer pain, just peace and the comfortable bed of love the both of you slept in for the rest of your life.

How beautiful it was to love Peter, forever save in his arms.

[opal-owl-flight]

I'm going to pretend that your 3 and 4 were too busy/not mature enough at the time to be in love/develop those feelings back before 4 left.

They were just coworkers having fun, being more than coworkers (friends!), and making memories.

But when 4 came back, those feelings became so much more complex. And things only got worse and harder to understand as 4 and 3's relationship as coworkers and friends became strained, between 3's desire for 4 to surpass them and 4's self-loathing.

3's attempt at fixing things only made things worse, as those feelings became love for a friend, someone important, but not a romantic kind JUST yet. 4 was someone they couldn't bear losing. In their attempts to protect them, they invalidated 4's own feelings (which I'm pretty sure you covered), which resulted in the fight.

I think it would be safe to say that it was when 3 realized how much of the problem they'd inadvertently contributed to, that they also began to love 4 more than as a friend. But it's a bit hard to notice that when you're getting your face mashed up.

Post hospital stay, 3 finally realized that love and became super gay for 4, as seen by the inner 3 reactions.

As for 4's journey, it was very similar in that it wasn't until they were smashing 3's face in that they realized, in those moments with their hands covered in 3's blood, in the moments that they spent with them in the hospital, that some of their own feelings might be turning to love.

Of course, the main feeling during the fight was anger and then horror, but shit happens.

Sorry for the way too long ask, but I've loved your 4 and 3 comics (8 and 4 were super emotional as well, and I greatly enjoyed those ones) and just had to share! ^^;;

You got a lot of it right! Though, the gay doesnt come til after Project Piranesi/Oceanic Labyrinth -- 3's "I love you" in Break is a platonic one, a feeling they held ever since they met, and a feeling that never went away even when they parted.

The relationship strained bc 4 went off and experienced hell in college. She developed a self loathing, and took a break from there. SHe hoped that 3 would be able to fix the issue bc hey...they always know what to do with her (her thought here is "Make me a perfect agent, continue what youve been doing before")... but that didnt happen.

3, now the Captain, taken off the field and directly responsible for the lives of the agents, has become more battle hardened and strict in their duties. They drill the agents to make sure they dont suffer what they did (falling to Tartar specifically), done out of a place of care and love. Theyre scared, really, they feel all this responsibility, add the fact that they dont like acknowledging that they may not be able to save everyone like they usually do before (due to their disability).

They heard 4s pleas and tried to turn her to what she wants. Maybe more. They knew shed surpass them. Its inevitable.

They only wanted her to be the best self she can be. Protect her -- they finally got her back, theyre not losing her again -- even if their methods only served to strain their friendship further.

A huge misunderstanding of 3s motives leads to bitterness from 4. They were her best friend. Now theyre...just like everyone else in college. Disappointed in her (no theyre not). She strived to be whatever perfection they wanted from her. Maybe if she got there, shed stop hating herself. If she got there, maybe theyd love her again (they always did, if...not expressed properly).

Leads to the duel after 3 forced a Leave on her, yada yada.... they make up for lost time after, hanging out as friends again until 4 is confident/feels supported enough to return to agent duties.

In those further duties, 4 starts growing. Finally growing in the right direction. Her confidence swelling to be almost the same as before she went to college (but not completely). I think tje romantic feelings start here? Not sure yet. But its def after time spent together as pals and supporting each other through several of their internal struggles (4 and her self-image, 3 and their limitations)

The Captain's right hand.

The confession likely happens after 4 saves 3 from some situation in Project Piranesi! Consider it a knight saving her monarch from danger.

Thank you sm for the ask! Im glad I managed to get most of my points across in the comics wehe

[aelaer]

for the whumpy prompt list: 🎧

I don't even know if you remember submitting this babywarg, and I *know* it took 3 years, but in my defense, 2020 was a shitshow after I asked for whump icon prompts. If you don't remember, this one stood for sensory deprivation. And here's a 6k fic to fill it!

This originally started very differently, then Wong took the reins and never let go. The first two parts were deleted/moved around entirely, and Stephen's POV disappeared as Wong decided this story was going to be from his POV. I would apologise that I am using the kidnapping trope *yet again*, but I'm not that sorry, either.

So canon Endgame doesn't exist in this fic world though I don't get too much into it beyond some hints with character endings and the timeline. It's probably mid-2019 in terms of timing (no 5 year jump). I'm not sure who, if anyone, is Sorcerer Supreme because of this. I also accidentally did the "insert plot into the prompt" thing that I have a bad habit of doing and made this way long. And finally, I don't know Latin; I just used a dictionary and a conjunction table to try and make something cool.

Grem's a character from a side-issue comic that I've appropriated and who has appeared in some of my earlier works. He's "played" by Rupert Graves. With a beard. 

Thanks to @coolnemmythings for betaing the majority of this and helping me brainstorm an ending because it finally pushed me into completion (more on that below).

———

Finding the Way Back Home

The Avengers found out Stephen was missing by happenstance. Peter, once he had discovered where Stephen lived, made it a habit to visit the Sanctum on what he called "slow days" when he was in the area. Wong had gotten used to him over time. 

Naturally, one of his visits corresponded with when a team of sorcerers uncovered Stephen's ambush site. Normally this would be fine as official Kamar-Taj matters were discussed nowhere near Peter. Wong couldn't hear the passing conversations of the distant apprentices and acolytes in the hallway adjourning the foyer of the Sanctum, so it should have been fine. He would entertain the young man for a few minutes, tell him Stephen was busy, and then lead him out. 

Just as Wong was about to give his excuses, he learned that the kid had super-hearing and that the conversation Wong couldn't hear was very, very audible to Spider-Man. It was a rather unfortunate time to discover such a fact.

And once Peter learned the news, it was just a matter of a few texts before every Avenger knew.

"We'd like to help out," Tony said, being the first to call Wong. Wong had given his number to a couple Avengers on the off-chance Stephen was wounded while working with them. He hadn't expected his number to be used in this fashion.

"Us sorcerers handle our own affairs," was Wong's gruff reply. "Besides, aren't you supposed to be retired?"

"Special occasion."

Wong said, "We're fine," hung up before Tony could retort, then sighed. Stephen would be displeased if Iron Man ended up dying after all the work he did to save him in the multiple future fiasco. He was just happy Stephen managed to get to 16 million—from what he understood, a couple other "winning" timelines were absolutely dismal on a global scale—but that was another topic altogether.

Then Tony gave out Wong's number to the others.

"It really would be no trouble," Steve said. "We consider all of you our allies after Thanos."

"You're supposed to be retired, too," was Wong's exasperated retort.

A pause. "Well, I did pass on the mantle of Captain America to Sam, sure, but that doesn't mean I don't go out in the field here and there. Just less public."

Wong hung up on him, too.

"We really would like to see him safe," was Bruce's call.

Bruce was a little harder to hang up on; he had been visiting the New York Sanctum frequently for meditation purposes, to better understand and work with the other side of his personality and come to some sort of balance with it. According to Stephen, Bruce had achieved something like this on his own in other futures, but he was certain the resources at Kamar-Taj could help him achieve this faster and with potentially better results.

Still, Bruce Banner was not a sorcerer. "I appreciate the offer, Doctor Banner, but this is a matter for our order," he told him, then hung up before the other could retort.

"It's pretty slow right now; you'd be doing everyone a favor in letting us help," Natasha admitted when she called.

Wong pulled the phone away from his face to sigh; if it weren't for the very slim chance of Stephen potentially calling him, he would have turned off the damn thing. "Weren't you supposed to retire from field work, too?"

"People like me never retire," she answered. "Think on it, Wong."

He grimaced and hung up.

"You have to let us help!" was Peter's plea. Peter had been barred from the Sanctum until the issue was settled—Wong knew that Stephen wouldn't want the kid involved—but apparently Tony Stark was more than happy to give Peter Parker his phone number, as well.

"Stephen would want you to stay out of this," he told the kid without ceremony, and hung up on him, too, though he felt a little bad doing it.

This was getting ridiculous. The other Masters had decided the Avengers shouldn't be involved, but if they had to endure what Wong was enduring, maybe they'd change their minds. Besides, the extra eyes wouldn't be a bad thing to have, at least in Wong's opinion. 

By the time a sixth call from an Avenger in under an hour occurred, Wong was ready. He surrounded himself with sorcerers in the Masters' strategy room as they discussed leads and next steps, then let the phone ring.

The Masters caved in less than two hours. Part of it may have been due to the Avengers' resilience, but Wong liked to think that setting his ringtone to Beyoncé's "All The Single Ladies" helped encourage the use of outside help. They agreed that the Avengers could assist them, though they were taking absolutely no responsibility if anything untoward or deadly happened to them. The Avengers didn't seem to care about the warning, which didn't particularly surprise Wong.

The dead security cameras near the site of the ambush suggested magical tampering, which meant that every two to three Avengers was paired with one or two Masters. The tracking was long and it took everything within their power to narrow down the search to the three most likely locations out of the many that Mordo had passed through over the last year.

(They were 99% certain Mordo was behind Stephen's disappearance. For the past several months Mordo had been stealing former students' abilities to do magic—and on three occasions, ended up killing the former student instead. The Masters of Kamar-Taj had been actively hunting him down for some time, doubling down when they learned Mordo was gathering followers. That Stephen's body wasn't found instead is a miracle, but it made Wong worry as to what Mordo could possibly want with him.)

They decided to infiltrate the three chosen locations as soon as they narrowed down the list. All the Avengers that had been allowed in (eight of them sans Peter because no, Wong wasn't going to be responsible for a minor no matter how close he was to 18) were on standby and allowed themselves to be split into groups by the Masters without contest.

Wong ended up with Master Grem of the London Sanctum and Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and Natasha Romanov—all the supposedly-retired-but-not-quite-yet Avengers. Exasperating.

Still, he couldn't say that he minded having them at his back in such an unknown situation. With a lesser sorcerer, the Order could have set monitoring wards on all the rogue sorcerers’ known locations to go off whenever another made a gateway into the area. But Mordo was one of the best and such magic would immediately alert him and his followers to the order's knowledge of their current bases and send them into hiding, and all that work of the last few months in tracking them would be lost.

The original plan, before all this, had been to track Mordo's movements for a pattern until they could ambush him and his followers. With Stephen taken, though? The time for waiting was over. Still, it was largely unknown what they would find at their assigned location—a dilapidated, Soviet-era warehouse in Eastern Europe—so having experienced company was no bad thing.

He was especially grateful for the Avengers' presence when it turned out that the warehouse was not devoid of life. Ten of Mordo's recruits (only four of whom were former students of Kamar-Taj) were present and quite willing to kill him if necessary. He and Grem alone would have been very hard-pressed. With the three Avengers helping them, the fight took only a couple minutes, the most difficult of the group being two of the rogue sorcerers that proved more creative than their counterparts.

Those that survived the fight were quickly disarmed and restrained for later questioning, and it was easy enough for Wong to push a portal around each person to the rarely-used cells of Kamar-Taj. He frowned as he considered their number; that was a significant number of recruits in what seemed to be an unimportant building. 

"That's convenient," Tony said as he watched the portals take the surviving combatants.

As Wong opened and closed the portals, Grem scanned the building for any remnants of magical use, carefully scanning above and below as he slowly circled around a single point. He stilled, then squinted. "There's something in that corner office." He pointed.

Wong saw Grem, Steve, and Natasha take off to the office, then turned back to his own task. Tony Stark stayed with him to guard his back as Wong finished securing their prisoners and had the bodies of those who did not make it portalled to the morgue within Kamar-Taj.

As the last body was flown through the portal, a streak of red burst out of the corner office and onto the larger warehouse floor. Wong would recognize the Cloak of Levitation anywhere, and it currently darted to and fro about the space as if searching.

"As you can see, the Cloak's fine," Grem called as he left the office, the other two Avengers in tow. When he got closer, Wong could see the scowl on Grem's face. "But I don't think that's the only thing this building's hiding. There's something else here, Wong, but I can't see what."

"How did they manage to separate it from Stephen in the first place?" Natasha asked. "From what I've seen, that thing is quite protective of him."

"It is," Wong agreed. "But there are some complicated spells in existence that may temporarily incapacitate a relic, even one as unique as the Cloak. Mordo is a skilled enough sorcerer to perform such a spell."

Grem hissed between his teeth. He was performing another pivot on the spot as he searched the area with his third eye yet again. As he ended, he shook his head. "Nothing. We're going to need to do a more manual search, and we may need to split up to better cover ground."

Wong, though, remembered something that happened after one of the fights during the War of the Infinity Stones. "That may not be necessary," he said, and looked over to the man beside him. "Tony, you are able to scan for heat signatures with your suit, correct?"

"Sure can, Wong." Tony paused and began to scan the interior, slowly pivoting on the spot, then froze halfway through. "Basement, northeast corner. One person lying down. Looks like it's empty otherwise."

"Useful," Grem remarked as he immediately headed towards the stairs. As one they followed him, hurrying their way to the stairwell, descending to the basement, and then making a sharp left to head in the indicated direction. They encountered no one else along the way, as expected. Despite this, when Tony said, "That door up ahead," both Wong and Grem paused before they could reach it. Wong held up a hand to halt the others. The Avengers wouldn't see it, but the magic upon the door was very evident to them.

"Wards are more your thing, Wong," said Grem as he eyed the door up and down. "But even I know this is quite a piece of work. I didn't realize Mordo knew all these warding spells."

Grem was right; the warding was very intricate. It was no wonder they could not find Stephen through his magical signature alone; the spells set about the room were put in to prevent such magic from having any use. A closer study of the details within the intricacies of the design showed that any attempt to remove the wards or force one's self into the room by magic would have dire consequences for not only the caster, but the person held inside. 

Wong pursed his lips together unhappily, then glanced over at the Avengers. "The wards set on this room mean I will not be able to enter, not in the usual way. Not easily."

"Do we even know if it's locked?" Natasha asked, eyeing the door up and down.

"It doesn't matter if it is or isn't. The warding includes spells against non-approved visitors touching the doorknob, and the side effects of doing so are not pleasant."

Tony's repulsor flared. "I can blast it open."

Wong shook his head. "No; too much kinetic energy. The wards might see it as spells and react negatively to you."

"Yeah, but if it's Stephen inside, I'll take my chances," Tony shot back.

"The same consequences that fall upon you also happen to the individual contained within," Wong said, and he heard the man hiss in frustration.

"I hear you," Grem muttered in sympathy. "Wong, your dispelling is faster; how long do you think it would take you to remove all these wards?"

Wong shook his head. "Hours, likely. Too long of a time for my comfort." Behind him, he heard Grem mutter a curse under his breath.

Steve stared at the door thoughtfully. "So we don't want to touch the doorknob, but we can't blast it with firepower. What about just—knocking the door off its hinges?"

Again Wong shook his head. "I can't use magic against the door to do so."

"No, I mean, I can do it," Steve clarified. "Just brute force, no firepower. It would be a lot less kinetic energy than a repulsor blast and I won't touch the doorknob."

Grem looked sidelong at Wong. "I don't see anything in the wards that would react negatively to that scenario. I don't think the average person could knock this down, but they weren't expecting us to bring anyone else."

Wong studied over the wards once more himself, and brute force that didn't have enough energy to be mistaken as magic was not warded against. "I think that may be our best shot," he agreed.

"Then step back," Steve said, and the team gave him some room. 

The Cloak, on the other hand, continued to hover closely beside Steve with an urgency that Wong wouldn't have known was possible on a piece of fabric before seeing the Cloak with Stephen.

"Cloak," Wong said. As it turned to him, he told it, "You can't enter the room. That warding could do you serious harm." The Cloak stiffened, as if offended by the suggestion. Wong resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gestured to it. "Come on. Stephen would be very upset if you got hurt."

That Cloak remained stiff and unmoving for another three seconds, but Wong gestured again and its shoulders slumped in resignation and it moved itself beside Wong. 

Steve then put himself in a braced position. He had a shield—not the iconic Captain America shield, but a smaller black one that was more rectangular in form—and used that in his lead up run towards the door to force it open with his shoulder.

The door flew open and Wong watched Steve—and Tony, who immediately followed—carefully for any side effects. When none happened, he spared a quick glance at Grem.

"I'll keep a watch out here," Grem said quickly. Natasha nodded in agreement and moved her gaze down the hall.

Wong inclined his head, again told the Cloak, "Stay out here," then followed the other two men in. He immediately felt when he was cut off from his magic by the wards and grimaced at the foreign wrongness of the feeling. But he could still sense the wards, so at least Stephen would have hopefully realized that he was in a warded cell rather than drained of magic.

Speaking of.

The room was mostly bare except for a cot, a chair, and an IV pole in the corner. Laying on his back on the cot was Stephen, stripped of his outer clothing and left with only his tunic and pants. His upper left arm's sleeve was cut off and the arm itself was bandaged, while further down an IV tube was connected to his forearm. A neat line of stitches crossed over his left temple, and some sort of feeding tube was inserted into one of his nostrils and taped down to his face. Both lines led to the IV pole, which held what looked like saline and a bag that Wong guessed was used for tube feeding.

Steve slowly approached the bed. "That noise should have woken him up. Is one of these lines drugging him?"

"Possibly," said Tony, "But this doesn't look drugged. I'm getting really weird readings on his vitals."

Feeling unusually bare without the connection to his magic, Wong approached the bed with the same caution as he asked Tony, "What are you seeing?"

"Elevated heart rate just under 120 bpm, and—" He paused as if listening to something, then said, "Right, the suit can't quite scan brainwaves of other people to the detail of an EEG—yet—but I can get a good picture. FRIDAY's saying that it looks like the brain of someone awake, not someone drugged or asleep."

"Does that mean he can hear us?" Steve asked.

"That means he'll be pissed we're talking about brain stuff without his contributions," was Tony's remark, but his tone fell flat. Suddenly his helmet disintegrated away as the nanites retreated from his face, and he turned his attention from Stephen to Wong. "What're we doing here, Wong? Is this magic or something else?"

A good question. "I won't be able to find out here," Wong answered, then strode forward and carefully removed the cannulas from both Stephen's nose and arm. "Grem, do you see anything on Stephen that prevents him being removed from here?" he called as he worked.

Beyond the warding of the room at the open doorway, Grem performed a gesture before tapping his own forehead. He squinted. "Nothing I can see, Wong. They weren't expecting anyone to get through the door or enter the room through a portal. You can carry him out."

Wong nodded once, then frowned down at Stephen's tall, lanky body. He looked at Steve and Tony. "I don't suppose one of you could—"

"Got it," Tony volunteered, and Wong stepped aside as the other man bent down and carefully picked Stephen up. The way Stephen's body remained utterly limp made something clench in Wong's stomach.

He's alive. Stop it.

They left the room soon after that. The second they were out the Cloak was fretting about Tony back and forth from side to side, and in the hall Grem already had a portal set up and ready. But it led to the infirmary at Kamar-Taj.

"No, his room at the Sanctum," Wong said.

Grem frowned, but closed the portal. "Why?" he asked as he started up another.

"You know he's not fond of being in the infirmary. He complains that it's 'too open.'"

"That was before shit hit the fan and everything changed," Grem answered and, well, Wong knew that Stephen had changed significantly in ways he still hadn't come to full terms with. It hadn't been that long since he had Returned, not really. What was eight months, after all? But he hadn't gotten Stephen's opinion since, so, his bedroom.

The portal opened in the hall now led to Stephen's chambers in the Sanctum, which was a sizable bedroom with an ensuite bathroom. The Sanctum had sensed Stephen's love of the dramatic when it had formed this room for its Master when he was first instated there: the building had installed a bedroom with dark mahogany furniture with intricate carvings and delicate curves around the edges, with even the computer desk and bookshelves not being spared the finery. The star of the bedroom was the ostentatious four post king-sized bed with a top canopy and a cream-colored comforter that had red accents with a design that resembled the embroidery on the Cloak of Levitation.

Now that he thought of it, the motifs on the furniture looked similar to the faded design in the checkered lining of the Cloak, too. Interesting. He spared them no further thought as he walked in and flicked on the light switch from across the room, bathing the dim room in a golden light.

Tony lowered Stephen into his bed as Grem and Natasha entered last, and the portal closed in behind them. The Cloak immediately lowered itself over Stephen once he was laying down. Wong, in turn, started casting what Stephen liked to call 'diagnostic spells' and ever since he said it, the term had stuck in Wong's mind. That was largely what they were: spells that identified what was wrong with the body and spirit, and so could aid a sorcerer in narrowing down the possibilities in what was happening to the person and if it was magical, multidimensional, or mundane in nature.

"I'm not quite sure what I was imagining for a sorcerer's bedroom, but I don't think I was expecting the computer," Natasha said.

"Why not? He has a phone," Steve asked.

"That Tony gave him," she answered.

"You should have seen the brick he was carrying around before," Tony complained. "And if that hadn't drowned in the Hudson, I'm not sure if he would've taken mine. I had to nearly threaten him."

"We find email quite handy, actually," Grem said. "And I really love the Google suite. Calendar, Docs, Sheets."

Tony cracked a smile. "So wizards do their business over Google's servers, huh?"

Grem winked in reply. "Wouldn't you like to know." He cast a look at Wong. "I'll let the others know that we've found him. I warrant they've seen the cells and morgue by now, but I'll double check on that. I'll send an apprentice to wait in the hall in case you need a runner." Wong only grunted in reply. With a quick, "Thanks for your help, mates," Grem made a portal and left the room.

It took a few minutes of various spells and analysis, but eventually Wong came upon an answer as to what was keeping Stephen unconscious—and he felt his heart drop into his stomach as the realization came. His poker face fell and he murmured, "Oh, Stephen." But he banished the sorrow quickly; such an emotion wouldn't help Stephen. Instead, his face became stone as he began to bark orders. "One of you needs to get the lights; make it as dark in here as possible. When I remove this spell from him, I need you all to be as quiet as possible, and if you must speak, do so in a whisper."

Natasha's loose stance immediately stiffened and she took a step closer to the bed to look again at Stephen. She pursed her lips as the rest of her face hardened. "Sensory deprivation?"

"Unlike anything you can imagine," Wong answered grimly.

Steve was now frowning. "Do you think he was like this the entire time? How long was he missing?"

"Between thirty to thirty-six hours," answered Wong, already starting the preparations for the removal spells. They would take a couple minutes to fully set up. "I don't know how long they have kept him under this spell. If it has been for that full length of time, just note that he might not—be fully in his right mind."

"Then we should give him some room," Tony said, with a note of sympathy that admittedly startled Wong. Before he could make anything further of it, however, Tony was already ushering the other two away. "We'll wait in the hall, Wong."

Steve's expression was clearly one of worry as he walked away, Tony's prodding quickly understood. "We'll be here if you need anything." He flicked off the light switch as they left, and the door softly closed behind them.

Wong slowly exhaled and looked at the Cloak. "Up," he ordered. The Cloak raised its collar, but like the stubborn, fickle thing it was, didn't obey immediately. Wong didn't have time for this. "If you don't want to hurt Stephen, you'll get off immediately and wait until you're given permission to touch him again," he snapped, his anxiety for his friend making him shorter than usual.

That did the trick. The Cloak lifted itself, albeit reluctantly, and set itself hovering on the other side of the bed instead. That was fine.

Everything would be fine. Stephen would be fine. Wong forced himself to take a deep breath once again.

As he performed the last of the preparations for the spell's removal, Wong could not help but remember the last time the spell had come into conversation. Unsurprisingly, the conversation had been with Stephen, perhaps two to three months after he had become Master of the New York Sanctum.

"Why does this spell even exist?" Stephen asked Wong as he gestured to the open book on his desk. Wong had made the mistake of entering the New York Sanctum library to find something while Stephen was reading through one of the Ancient One's old tomes, and thus the first fellow master available to hear his complaints.

"You're going to have to be more specific," was Wong's dry answer.

Stephen grimaced and clarified, "Excidit Sensus. It's utterly inhumane."

Wong went to the bookshelf where he suspected his quarry lay. "Compared to contemporary methods of interrogation when the spell was created, it was likely considered a more humane option."

"Incorrectly so!" Stephen shot back, fuming. "This spell removes everything: sight, hearing, touch, all sensations. If you keep a person like that for, say, forty-eight hours, there is a significant chance of hallucinations, anxiety, and depression. The ability to do the simplest tasks deteriorates upon freedom, and if this goes on longer than that, the results can be catastrophic!"

The librarian paused to look over at his colleague, who was slowly (perhaps inevitably) becoming a friend. "I am simply explaining the likely rationale behind its creation," Wong said. "That doesn't mean I endorse its use."

Stephen exhaled. "Sorry. Right. I just wasn't expecting to see something like that."

"For what it's worth," Wong said as he found the book he wanted, "that spell hasn't been used in over a century. Very few sorcerers would have the power and skill to successfully apply it, and there are none in Kamar-Taj who would consider using it now."

"Good," was Stephen's answer, and the conversation ended.

How could Mordo fall to such lows?

Wong finished the prep work and stalled no longer; Stephen had been suffering for more than long enough. He moved his spell work that he performed on the side to hover over the prone man, then in one gesture, settled it upon his body to release the spell. He steeled himself for the fallout.

It came all at once: at first Stephen was utterly still, and then he inhaled sharply and audibly as his eyes flew open. He immediately squeezed them shut and then cradled his hands near his chest, every breath shuddering. To Wong's alarm, the little light remaining in the room glinted on the wetness of his cheeks. He was crying very, very silently.

Still, he did not say anything; the sound of breathing may be too much for Stephen at that moment, never mind conversation. Instead he waited for some sort of cue from the other sorcerer. Opposite him, the Cloak fretted as it swung back and forth in silent worry through the air; it clearly wanted to envelop its Master and it was only Wong's strict word that kept it from doing otherwise.

When Stephen did speak, several minutes later, it was barely above the volume of breathing. "I forgot—how much they hurt."

Wong could not help but exhale in dismay. Stephen made it easy for others to forget that he experienced what would be categorized as chronic pain. One eventually learned to cope and live with such a thing until it became a background ache on normal days, or so he understood it, and his friend had perfected that act a long time ago. However, Wong had not considered how the reintroduction of feeling to his hands would affect Stephen. That was his folly—he was only glad that Tony had the sense of presence to get all others out of the room. 

The sigh caused Stephen to freeze. "Who's there?" he whispered.

He tried to keep his voice just as low. "Wong." He paused to gauge his reaction to his voice; Stephen did not flinch, and so he added, "And the Cloak." That was the most relevant, for now. The Avengers were out of sight in the hall and could wait a little longer.

Stephen's breath shuddered. "Give—give me a minute. Just—give me a minute."

He kept his response limited. "Take your time."

The silence sat for longer, the only sound being of the soft breathing from the both of them. All other sound from the rest of the Sanctum was completely muted. Eventually Stephen carefully moved an arm down from his chest to his side on the bed, and the Cloak took that as permission to reach out and lightly touch him. Stephen stiffened before relaxing and breathed, "Cloak. Right." He swallowed. "How long?"

Wong exhaled. "Thirty to thirty-six hours, if you were under the whole time."

"I was." He kept his voice at a whisper. "You need a report."

"It can wait." He kept his voice at the same volume. "The Avengers helped in your recovery. Stark, Rogers, and Romanoff are outside."

A pained look crossed over Stephen's face. "They can't—they can't see me like this."

"There is no shame in your condition," said Wong, "but I will not press it."

Stephen clenched his eyes shut. He swallowed. "Please."

Wong inclined his head and concealed his alarm; Stephen never begged. "I'll be right back." He rose and cast a silencing spell around the room to filter out all noise from outside, then left the bedroom.

Three pairs of eyes met Wong as he closed the door behind him. "How is he?" Steve asked.

"He'll recover, with time," said Wong. "At the moment he does not wish to have any visitors. You may call in a few days." That should be enough time, hopefully.

"Understandable," Natasha said.

"Ring us if there's anything else you need," Tony added. "And let Merlin know that if I don't hear from him soon, I'll be making a house call."

Wong didn't doubt it. "Noted. You know the way out."

After they turned the corner of the hallway, Wong turned his attention to the apprentice hiding in the shadows; the runner Grem sent. "Bring up a bowl of chicken soup and a cup of herbal tea. Soup should be largely broth." He had no idea what a stomach living off a liquid diet for two days did to solid food, so he'd have Stephen start small. "Keep others away unless it's urgent." The apprentice bowed and took their leave.

Wong sighed, letting his emotions flow away from him now that he was alone in the hall. He only allowed himself a brief moment before he solidified his serene expression and entered Stephen's bedroom once again.

"It's me," he whispered. "Food's on its way."

Stephen hadn't moved in the short time he was gone and his eyes remained closed. He was conscious enough to make a face at Wong's words, however. "Not hungry."

"It'll be waiting for you when you are." The joy of everlasting heat spells on dinnerware. He then considered his next words carefully; Stephen had been unusually emotionally vulnerable the last few minutes, but it did not mean he wouldn't start to close up if he was too brazen. "Would you prefer solitude or company?" Straightforward, yet not coddling—a statement that could be said in any normal situation. Stephen was often allergic to sentimental emotions, especially if they were because of his condition. He'd rather tend to his own wounds than for anyone to see him less than capable. It was only if Wong acted unaffected and casual that he could slip past that shield in times like this.

Stephen was silent for a moment. "Company's not unwelcome," he muttered. "Quiet company, at least."

"That is expected," said Wong. And once Stephen's meal was here, he was ready to sit in silent meditation and companionship as his friend recovered his senses throughout the rest of the evening.

—————

I was stuck on this damn ending (after Stephen was brought back to New York) for over two years. The issue was I wanted to have something with Stephen and the Avengers, as well as a scene from Stephen's POV that Wong could access. I could never make either scene fit, so I just went with my gut and tossed them. The deleted scene from Stephen's POV will be posted on tumblr once I get this fic up on AO3.

The majority of this was written pre-MoM so I just kept the bedroom description as I had imagined Stephen's room back in 2020.

[dollsonmain]

I'm going to start staying in bed in the mornings so That Guy can't use morning time as Captive Audience Lecture time.

That's why I don't eat with him anymore, and why I don't talk to him at all in the car.

It's different than "There is a problem and we need to discuss it." because I'm not allowed to speak and any point I manage to interject with is disregarded or talked over.

A cut, though, because this is going on main instead of my whining side blog because it's about me, and it'll be long.

Last night I was thinking about how useless I am. I'm saying it that way just to get the point across as quickly as possible, I'm not being self-deprecating.

To elaborate, I was thinking about the jobs I've done in the past and my ability to function in general. Life in general seems unreasonably too hard.

-

My first job was bussing tables and that was fine but I got fired because my manager played favorites and scolded me for crying because my bandaged wrist hurt, which made me cry harder while bussing tables.

-

Then I was in the military and I was very bad at it. Physically, for now-obvious reasons, and mentally. I could never memorize the ranks, for example, or the weird little rules like "If you're the first to see Smadge in the morning, you call at ease as loud as you can to welcome him to the office" or the "Address superiors by their rank, don't talk to them like companions" and that kind of thing.

I did fine doing the mail.

I struggled in the office where I was the personnel database manager. There wasn't enough work to do and I could never make myself look busy. When I first took over the database I rewrote it all so that it was accessible to each of the companies in my unit to add and adjust things and then I wasn't needed anymore. I was there for two years with nothing to do.

At one point I started leaving to do the mail as early as possible with the excuse that I was taking other unit's mail clerks with me (true), and then after mail time was over, I'd just leave and go back to my room.

No one really noticed or cared because I wasn't providing anything to the office anyway.

My First Sargent griped about it one time, but I kept leaving anyway and no one bothered me about it.

-

Then I worked at Walmart behind the jewelry counter and that was fine. I liked it enough. Being a smaller department there never was anything like having to pull palettes around and the stuff on the shelves didn't change too much. There was a lot of time standing behind the counter doing nothing.

-

Then Wegman's selling cheese and that was fine, too. I got up, put on my uniform, went to work, did what I was told, and went home. Annetta made the mistake of asking me to redesign the cheese display once and I was like "Um.... I can't.... do that, sorry." After I left (I was impregnated by That Guy when he ejaculated inside me without permission, then he moved me away from my job or I'd probably still be there), she said she'd asked some of the younger boys in the department to take over and they were doing very well with it.

My managers at Wegman's gave me a lot of opportunities for advancement and to learn new skills and I had to decline because my brain couldn't do anything more than the lowest base-line work in the department. I mean, I tried. I did what was asked, and then I wasn't asked to do those things again.

-

Since then it's been house-mom.

I'm very bad at that.

I don't clean enough, I don't cook at all, I don't do That Guy's laundry so he can't blame me when something goes wrong with it (he blames me anyway because if HE ruins his laundry it's because I refused to do it), I'm not super involved with my Son.

If I'm not specifically told "Do this." I don't think to do it. It's not by choice. I can't.

Son struggles with hygiene. I've mentioned that before. I've come here and asked for help. I've asked the IEP team at school for help.

Lately, Son stinks.

This morning That Guy had me captive audience for a lecture and said that he got a lot of answers out of Son about his hygiene last night which he waited to even ask until I'd gone to bed because he knows that if he starts being an un-constructive asshole about it I'll put a stop to it.

He said Son isn't changing his underwear and was like "I KNOW I've talked to him about this AND YOU..... You have to constantly be on him about it."

When I tried to say "I don't even think about his underwear because I never see them. He comes downstairs dressed every morning." he said "You have to struggle against that compulsion."

How, after 20 years, does he still not understand that my entire day every day is struggling against that kind of thing and always has been?

There are times I want to take the whole world, hold their faces between my hands, put my face right up in theirs and say

"You don't understand.

It's not that I don't want to.

I would give almost anything to function. I don't like to be like this. I don't like to be trapped here needing someone else to keep me alive.

I.

Can't."

That Guy still doesn't understand that I can't. He thinks I choose not to. He thinks I don't care enough.

I never could think of like, that extra little something that would make something better or whatever it is that makes some people really good at aesthetics, or anything outside of what I've been told to do.

When I say "I don't exist" I can't put into words what I really mean.

I am nothing more than a worker ant.

I really do often think I should have been let to die in infancy when I couldn't keep milk down. That should have been in indicator that I wasn't fit for survival. I've been consistently miserable my whole life because of this.

[purple-saladleaves]

All of F, O, I, R, and E for Ffoirre :3 @mystery-salad

hey, thanks for the ask! :)

F

1) what do they do for fun?

he spends time with the fern hounds or goes out for a drink with Efalynn when they can. I also think Ffoirre would really enjoy cross stitch or crochet (some kind of fibre art) if he ever tried it. not that he would though; he wants to improve his reputation but he still wants to be at least a bit intimidating

2) what is their ideal party?

one that he doesn't need to go to? or something small with just his close friends

3) who would they have the most fun with?

obviously he has the best time with Efalynn because she's the only one of my OCs that Ffoirre knows, and they do get on really well. but I also think he'd enjoy fighting things with Thora, and Sasha and Krett would get him to lighten up just a little

4) can they have fun while conforming to rules?

he can, but sometimes it can get a bit boring. he was a Courtier after all, even if he's trying to put that behind him

5) do they go out a lot?

not really. usually either Ffoirre or Efalynn is busy, and he dislikes getting recognised as one of the Nightmare Court, which happens pretty often whenever he goes out

O

1) are they optimistic or pessimistic?

definitely pessimistic

2) are they openly optimistic pessimistic, throwing it on others?

yep. he has a pretty cynical view of the world and rarely sees the point in keeping it to himself

3) are they good at giving advice?

occasionally. if he lets himself be a little less cynical for a bit, Ffoirre gives surprisingly good romantic advice for someone whose most romantic relationship was a one sided crush on Gavin

4) is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Efalynn -- it's one of the main reasons why they're friends

5) were they always optimistic pessimistic?

yes, but not nearly as much as he is now

I

1) what is their sexuality?

Ffoirre is arospec gay

2) have they ever questioned their sexuality?

not really, sexuality isn't really important to sylvari and honestly he had bigger things to worry about. he's secure in his attraction to men and doesn't feel like he needs to think about things further

3) have they ever questioned their gender?

same as above honestly

4) would/was their family be ok with them being LGBT?

yeah, since sylvari have such a chill view on it (although he doesn't really consider them family. also fwiw none of my OCs will ever face discrimination/hate for being LGBT, it's not something I want in my version of Tyria)

5) how long would/did it take for them to come out?

it would take Ffoirre a while to come out to anyone new, since he needs to build up a good relationship with them first which is uh. Difficult for him. but he doesn't make a big deal out of it at all, it's probably just dropped into conversation casually when he's comfortable enough to talk about romance

R

1) do they follow rules?

he works for the Pact as part of his "rehabilitation" so yes, he has to. but like in F4, he's not always happy about it, especially if he thinks the rules or orders he's been given are stupid

2) would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

Ffoirre does not want kids, but if he had them he'd be pretty laid-back. he felt like the Pale Tree put a lot of pressure on all the young saplings, including himself, which is what pushed him to join the Nightmare, so he would be very worried about making his kids feel the same way

3) have they ever faced consequences for breaking a rule?

Efalynn actually helped the Wardens in Caledon Forest arrest him once when he was still an active Courtier. it didn't last long

4) have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

he regrets joining the Court, if that counts. (but not entirely)

5) do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

some of the conditions Ffoirre has to follow to work with the Pact are very frustrating for him. for example, he's not allowed to take night watch, and he gets very little privacy to stop him "planning things". he's not going to plan anything, he genuinely wants to make reparations, but it's incredibly irritating when they treat him more like a prisoner

E

1) does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

sort of? like I say below (see E5) Ffoirre sometimes acts like more of a dick than he really is, and he also makes an effort to Do The Right Thing (occasionally). but typically he doesn't like playing nice. (rarely though he is genuinely kind, especially to dogs, but You Did Not See That)

2) do they do things that conform to the norm?

from the standpoint of a Pact Soldier, mostly? he does the same work as everyone else, minus a few smll differences (see R5). but a lot of the time he'd rather do what he wants than follow the crowd

3) do they follow trends or do their own thing?

he absolutely does his own thing. his reputation is important to him, but not nearly so important that he'd change the way he dresses or the things he does in his free time, for example

4) are they up to date on internet fads?

obviously the internet isn't a thing in Tyria, but there's still trends and celebrity culture. Ffoirre doesn't bother keeping up with most of them, he thinks it's all a waste of time, but he does like to keep up with the ridiculous rumours people will spread about The Commander, just to tease Efalynn about them

5) do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it our own their own?

I think Ffoirre slightly exaggerates the less pleasant parts of his personality, especially when he's in a bad mood. he doesn't like a lot of people, and sometimes when they're so sure he's an asshole, it feels easier to play to their expectations than change their minds. but mostly he lets people figure it own on their own, they can come to their own conclusions.

[jeanownsme]

vlive head

summary- you give your horny bf head while hes live with his fans

warnings- exhibitionism kink, oral sex (male receiving), hair pulling, secret relationship, mmm not too many warnings, etc

a/n- this was a thought that recently came up in my mind and my god this was hot, i hope there arent any grammar mistakes. its like 5 am rn and took me 2 hours to write 😭 enjoy loves.

"how is everyone doing, have you guys eaten yet ?" the voice of your boyfriend asked, looking at the comments showing up on the screen. he was live with millions of fans watching, that was what made you scared. what if they knew what you guys were doing ? what if they knew who it was ? everybody knew he was in a relationship, but no one besides the people closest to him knew who it was. how would everybody react if they find out that he's dating y/n, one of the most well known and loved actresses. it would be disastrous.

"its been so long since i've gone live.. i missed you guys a lot, sorry for being gone for a while i've been super inactive lately because i've been super busy, but i think i'm going to post after this" his voice sounded clear as your lips were wrapped around his dick, slowly moving up and down drool dripping down your chin. you never knew tae was into this kinda stuff because he was always cautious with cameras whenever you were near him, posting your hand or shadow was the only thing that would ever show online.

he leaned back further into his seat and sharply thrusted into your mouth forcing you to deep throat him, you gagged as tears made its way down your face. to the camera it looked as if he was just adjusting his seat. luckily the music he was playing drowned out the sound. how could he stay so quiet ? you were suffering trying not to make any sounds. he was huge, he could barely fit in your mouth and it was starting to hurt your jaw from the stretch.

you wrapped you hand around the rest of the length and started stroking and sucking even harder and faster. his cock twitching from the sudden change of pace, he groaned but quickly covered it up with a cough eyes moving down to glare at you. and you stared back with an innocent look on your face pretending to not know what you just did.

taehyungs hand wrapped around the base of your head and pulled on your hair gently, a warning to slow down.

he continued reading the comments, many mentioned you. this was bad, this meant that people were catching on.

y/n is also in new york, does this mean they are together ?

are you dating y/n ?

how do you feel about y/n ?

whats your connection with y/n ?

obviously he could see these comments, there were a shit ton. but he ignored them because he knew that if he mentioned your name it would be all over the internet. as you kept sucking, he was getting closer to cumming.

he moaned and leaned over to rest his head on the desk

"ahhh guys its getting late, and im not used to the time difference here yet." he lifted his head to stare at the camera.

"this was really fun army, im gonna go now to get some rest. you guys should get some too, stream our new album. byeeee" he waved and shut off the camera.

"y/n you can stop now" you stopped and got up, tripping a bit from being on your knees for so long. taehyung caught you and held you in his arms and laughed, looking down at you he leaned down and kissed your puffy lips.

"youre so fucking cute baby, i just wanna fuck the shit outta you" you both groaned as the kiss got heavier, his long fingers grabbing onto your waist and slowly making its way down to your ass squeezing it.

"lay down on the bed for me yeah ? " god his voice, it was so sexy and deep. if your panties weren't wet from earlier they most definitely are now. you laid down and taehyung made his way between you legs, he leaned over to your ear.

"lets get these pretty panties off"

[poisonedprose]

The Vampire King 2 ♰˚‧

chapter 2 !

warnings: cursing, slight sexual tension(?)

masterlist - @thefailcollection @riffcrusader

prolouge // chap 1 // chap 3 // chap 4 // chap 5

Steve couldn't bring himself to turn around. "Ignoring me, Harrington?" He chuckled. Steve still couldn't turn around. There was no way that voice belonged to who he thought it did. The sticks in the grass began to rustle as the evergrowing amicable voice came closer. "Steve? Did you fall asleep standing up?" He laughed again, this time in the younger’s ear. He now stood mere inches away, his hands snaking around Steve's waist, drawing him closer. Steve screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. "It's just me, sweetheart." He whispered in Steve's ear. "Don't call me that." "Ah, so he does have a voice." Eddie mocked and let his hands slide under Steve's shirt. "Stop." Steve command, causing the shorter one's hands to stop in place right about the scars that lay on Steve's torso. "Steve!" The two heard Dustin call from the trailer, Eddie quickly pulling away from Steve to go see the boy he once held close. 

"Hey, Henderson." He smiled. The shock on Dustin's face was evident, clearly not expecting to see the man he thought was dead. "Eddie? Am I hallucinating?" Dustin rubbed his eyes to make sure this wasn't some sick way of grieving. "I'm really here, Henderson. Can't get rid of me that easily." Eddie opened his arms, inviting Dustin in for a hug, which he was going to take before Eddie was pushed away. "Don't touch him." Steve eerily warned as he held Eddie against the side of the trailer. "Jealous?" Eddie winked with a shit-eating grin. "What is your deal, Steve?" Dustin exaggerated. By now, the group had piled out of the trailer in search of Dustin and Steve. "Eddie?" Robin asked as she saw a glimpse of his face. "I'd give you a proper greeting but, Harrington here is a little clingy." He laughed but Steve just stayed in silence. "Take a joke, Steve." "Leave." It was clear to everyone that Steve wasn't joking. "What?" Eddie seemed hurt? Maybe it was disappointment.

"I don't know who you are but this isn't funny." Steve pressed him harder against the wall. "Come on, Steve. I'm still the Eddie you fell in love with." He whispered with a sort of sourness in his voice, careful that the others didn't hear him. "I didn't fall in love with you. Not then, not now." Steve spoke lowly, making it clear that the kiss they shared that one night and the many others that followed, meant nothing to him. The anger in Eddie's eyes almost made the iris' seem red. "So, was it all for nothing? Did it mean anything to you?" He growled in a voice that was almost unrecognizable to Steve. "Leave." Steve commanded again. "Enough!" Nancy exclaimed as Eddie and Steve pulled apart. "We don't have time for this. We need to kill Vecna. We are running out of time. You two can play the 'mommy and daddy get divorced' game later." Nancy instructed. She explained what everyone needed to do and how to do it, pairing people up as she did.

"Sorry to interrupt, sweetheart, but that's never going to work." Eddie explained in a condescending tone. Steve hated to admit that he was right. "You need to go straight for the guy. No beating around the bush bullshit." Eddie explained further, obviously angering Nancy. "Look, we are super happy you are alive, but we have a plan." Nancy tried to remain as calm as she could. "Not a very good one. Trust me, I've been in that hell-like universe for way too long." Eddie sent a mocking sympathetic smile to Nancy. "He's got a point." Will shrugged. "I don't know who you are, but I like you." He smiled at Will who smiled back. "I think Eddie's right." Dustin agreed "What do you think Steve?" Dustin turned his attention to his role model who seemed to be staring at Eddie. At the way his hands were positioned, the way his posture was, and the way his facial expressions changed as he talked. They all looked so real.

"He's a little distracted right now. Try again in 2 to 3 business days." Eddie laughed, which Steve examined just as closely. His voice was deeper, raspier. Granted he spent god knows how long lying on that floor. Ceiling? It doesn't matter. His voice was different and Steve was sure of it. "I don't care." Steve responded still not taking his eyes off of Eddie. "You're making it obvious." Eddie sent him a wink before returning his gaze to the people in front of him. "Well then, Eddie, tell us your big plan." Lucas almost sounded annoyed that the plan was changing. "We just need the freaky telekinetic girl to fight him and win." He said matter of factly. "That's easier said than done." Mike scoffed at Eddie who gave a confused frown. "I am strong but he is stronger." El enlightened him. "Trust me, he's weak right now. I can feel it." El and Will shared a small glace. "But-" Will began before Eleven cut him off. "Then we will do your plan." Eddie looked like he had just had the biggest victory, which Steve picked up on.

Steve didn't know what he was planning or even if he had a plan or if it was actually him, but Steve had this strange feeling. When Steve looked at him, a sense of impending doom lingered in his stomach replacing the butterflies he once felt around the metalhead. Something was off and Steve knew it, but he couldn't figure out just quite what it was. Sure, being in an alternate dimension with nothing to eat or drink practically on the brink of death would change someone, but not in the way he changed. "Eddie. My name is Eddie. Not he." Eddie whispered into Steve's ear as if he could hear Steve's thoughts. Hear Steve replacing every spot for his name with his pronouns. Hear Steve refusing to let the name linger in his mind. "Eddie." Steve repeated, hating the bitterness it left on his tongue. "There ya go." Eddie leaned away from his ear, but not before licking his earlobe. Steve let any and all thoughts dissolve out of his mind for the fear that Eddie could hear them, but surely, that wasn't humanly possible.

[kuronanox]

Our little secret-Kaien Shiba

"Kaien Shiba my super hot professor."

(Your Name) day dreams with brightful eyes as she sighs and smiles sheepishly.

"(Last Name)!" Kaien shouts smacking her desk with his rolled up paper as she flinched and looks up to him. His brows were knit and focused. "If you keep day dreaming you'll fall behind!"

"Ahh I'm sorry." She apologizes and bows her head respectfully as he laughs and grins.

"I'm joking, but seriously you should try to concentrate more."

(Your Name) chuckles and mentally screams, her tiny heart would hurt if he actually yelled at her.

"Wait he knows my name?!"

She looks back up and Kaien was already at the chalk board lecturing on the next chapter. With one hand on his hip and the other writing some unknown language on the board.

"Concentrate concentrate concentrate!"

She tries to smack her face lightly as she looks lower to stare at his butt and blushes a bit yelping as the students around her stared and she looked down embarrassed.

Once lecture was done she sighed from exhaustion and packed her bag before her name was called out.

"(Last Name)." Kaien calls out as most of the student cleared out of his lecture room and she mentally cursed.

"Yes sensei?" (Your Name) asks staring at her feet interested with the patterns of her new shoes.

"You can look up." He laughs a bit with both his hand on his hips. His tie moving along with his laugh and his tucked in shirt was so irresistible for her she licked her lips. "Anyways I was looking back at some of your test scores and you are falling behind! Is everything alright?" He asks now a bit concerned.

"No! Everything is fine! I'm just not understanding the material and I don't wanna stop class because of my selfish reasons."

Kaien pokes her forehead and grunts, lightly hitting the roll of paper on her head. "Everyone is here to learn. I guarantee someone else have the same question as you too."

(Your Name) goes back to looking at her shoes shyly as the older man sighs but in a concerning way. "How about I tutor you for 30 min after class each day you are here. Monday, Wednesday, Friday." His eyes raising for her answer as she slowly nods.

"I'm sure you are a busy man and I don't have money for a tutor."

"Don't worry about it, my students come first." He assures her with a smile as she smiles back.

"Jesus he's gorgeous! I can't believe he offered to help me learn on his own time for free!"

"I'll see you next week then!" Kaien cheers smacking her head once again before walking out the classroom.

The following weekend for her was so slow because she was excited to spend one on one time with him.

"He's my professor though! It would be wrong to like him! I'm sure he's married or dating already! I mean I should be too because I'm a junior year college student but still a teacher and student relationship would be to spicy."

Throwing her pillow across the room she squirmed in her bed like a fan girl. "A girl can dream though."

Composing herself she went onto her phone and searched through all social media to "research" him some more but she found nothing.

"Maybe he doesn't use social media? He ain't that old yet though." Putting her phone aside she closed her eyes and waited for Monday to come quickly.

Lecture time came as she sat towards the front of the class to concentrate more. Still this chapter and chapters before overlapped each other and she felt super lost and defeated.

Kaien would teach and sometimes look at her direction and from the expression on her face he knew she was struggling. Once the classroom cleared out he arranged his desk to be more roomy for her to set her things down.

"Cha! Are you ready?" He asks enthusiastically opening up his notes from a few chapters back.

She smiled and sat next to him as they got to work.

Over the course of their their tutoring sessions 30 minutes turned to 40, till it reached an hour and then till after dark.

Kaien didn't realized how much he was enjoyed her company that at times they would get off subject and just talked about themselves or their likes.

"I didn't think a 30 year old man would actually enjoy tutoring." He says to her as she gasped picking up her book bag and getting ready to leave their session.

"To be fair I didn't think a 22 year old girl would need tutoring."

Kaien waved her off, closing his classroom up. Looking out the window it was pouring all day. "Did you park in the garage today?" He asks putting his coat on.

"I did actually!"

"Me too, we can walk together."

The walk was normal it didn't seem like a teacher and student relationship, it was more like friends now. To Kaien there was nothing wrong with opening up your options even though he had none.

"You are still young (Your Name) go to parties and have fun." He tells her as she looks up to him, his eyes showed a bit of sadness but she couldn't figure out what.

"30 isn't old! But then again to see your professor at a party would be kinda sus."

Kaien chuckles and shook his head as they made it to the elevator. It was silent but her heart was racing.

They've spent a lot of time with each other since he offered to tutor her but she wanted to know him more. There was a part of him she could tell was missing.

"How was your college life?"

"Wild I did so many things." He tells her placing his hands in his pockets.

"Ahh me too, there are some pretty crazy frat parties." She tells him lightly as he laughs out loud.

"Tell me about it! I've been to plenty."

As they enter the garage, the rain started to pour harder as lightning mixed with the clouds.

"Will you be okay getting home in this rain?"

"Don't worry! I can wait it off on campus." She assures him as he shakes in head and unlock his car, opening his passenger seat.

"You wanna go to the bar? It's only a block down. We can wait it off there and then I'll drive you back to your car."

A part of her wanted to say no only because it seemed wrong to be drinking with her professor but she knew she wasn't a minor or some kid. It was totally fine and it wasn't like she was sleeping with him for better grades.

With a bright smile she gladly took a seat. "Sure!"

To her surprise the bar was pretty busy and it was blasting with music and people all ages mingling. He asked for a booth and took a seat across from her.

"He has to be interested if he took me to a bar or even offered to go out!"

Looking at the menu Kaien offered to pay for the night.

"Don't worry about it! I'm sure we are hungry also, it's been a long day."

(Your Name) was hesitant at first but gave in only because he wouldn't let her pay for nothing since he invited her out. They had a few rounds of drinks and it was easy for her to talk to him because Kaien was pretty open about everything.

"Yeah I remember falling down the stairs at a frat house blacked out in the bathtub after trying to get home." He tells her laughing his ass off thinking about his college days.

"Yeah it took 7 people to carry me out the house, I was dead weight and woke up in my friends house with different clothes." (Your Name) says sharing her side of stories as well.

"So you're a drinker? I wouldn't have thought." Kaien states as he drank the rest of his water. (Your Name) looks at her watch, it was about to hit midnight and the rain was slowing down enough to drive in.

"It's getting kinda late, I'm pretty sure your family is waiting for you." She says nonchalantly without realizing it may have been a sensitive topic.

Kaien slightly frowns but not enough to show discomfort. He kindly smiles to her after and says "no family, it's just me and I."

Her eyes widen in realization as she quickly apologized and bowed her head. He chuckles and ruffles her hair. "Don't worry, no offense taken. It gets lonely at times but I bare with it. Come on I'll drive you to your car."

The whole night they went out he was a gentleman, opening the car door and the bar door. Holding her bag and paying for dinner. It felt nice.

As they rode back she had to ask him, she wanted to know what this was.

"Kaien?" She asks and the way his name came off her lips felt foreign.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think this is weird? Going out to drink with one of your students and spending a lot of time with me even after tutoring me?"

There was a silence for a moment before he spoke truthfully.

"At first I was skeptical but we are both adults and what we decide to do shouldn't have to matter with imagine or what people think. That means yes I enjoy your company and I do like you."

(Your Name) blushed a bit, he admit to like spending time with her and hinted he didn't wanna stop either.

"How'd you know I like you?"

He smirks and shakes his head before pulling into the garage. "Word spreads fast around my students apparently."

Turning off his car Kaien walked her into her car so she would get home safely.

"(Your Name) if it's out of your comfort zone we could always try after you graduate." He seriously says to her leaning into her window as she gulped to how close he was to her.

"No I don't feel uncomfortable, I just didn't think this would actually be happening."

"Expect the unexpected." He says as she chuckles to how corny that was. "It can be our little secret for a while." Kaien adds with a toothy grin and she smiles.

"Yeah, our little secret for a while."

(Author Note: idk why I feel like I could make this one shot better but then it would turn to a whole story)

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Hey it's 🐣 anon from the matchup. I've been feeling down recently cause things aren't home are not going daijobou (lame attempt on joking im so sorry). Can i request HC for Ushijima, Oikawa, Noya and Kuroo with an s/o who suddenly becomes really silent and distant when usually their loud and affectionate? And if they try to be affection to their s/o they just push the boys away. If this is making you uncomfortable you can ignore this. Thank you in advance never the less 💞

Hello little chick!! I am so sorry this took so long, I meant for it to be an emergency request but I wanted to take a little bit of time to do it and think about the appropriate reactions to things like this because they can be signs of mental health problems and I wanted it to be addressed in a way where the boys all care and want the best. If you ever ever ever ever want to talk about anything my messages are open! I am great for talking about serious things and also nothing at all so if you need a person to talk or distract you I am only a few buttons away lovey!! Please do not be afraid!

Shut out 

Words: 1.9k 

Characters: Ushijima, Oikawa, Nishinoya, Kuroo

Summary: You go from loud and bubbly to quiet and distant around your boyfriend 

Ushijima 

Ushi knows you like the back of his hand, he knows exactly how you sound when you are happy, when you are sad when you secretly want french fries but keeps telling him I don’t know when he asks where you want to eat, he knows everything about you so when you started slowly answering his questions in different ways he knew that something was up, he could tell that you were stressed and unhappy and he didn’t know what to do 

He gets really nervous around sensitive subjects like that because he doesn’t want to make you upset but he needs to do something so he does a lot of research to try and know how to help you best, he figures out that you just need some extra love and attention so one day he skips volleyball and just pulls you onto the couch for extra love and cuddles with no explanation as to why, you try and pull away from him and he just tells you no and when you try and argue with him he gives you a very specific raised eyebrow look that says it all, he knows that you need this affection and deep down you know it too so you cuddle with him and you can feel your heartbeat slow down and yourself relax in his arms 

The next couple of days he packs you lunches and walks you to and from school and to each of your classes, squeezing your hand a little bit harder every time

His extra affection helps perk you up some but not enough so after a few days Ushijima sits you down and makes you talk through everything if you want him to talk back he will, or if you just want someone to listen he is happy to hear it all and just let you talk at him

You end up getting emotional and starting to cry and he just holds you to his chest and tells you that he loves you and that it’s okay to feel this way and that it is normal and he just wants you to remember and know that you are loved 

He is really sweet the next day and brings you a little goody bag and lets you wear one of his sweatshirts, he knows how emotionally exhausting it can be to have to talk about things like that but he also knows that you need to talk to someone and if you shut him out then it’s only going to make problems worse and so him making you talk to him was super helpful and lifted a big weight off of your shoulders

Ushijima will never give up on you and he knows that bad times happen and he is going to be there to get through it with you 

Oikawa 

Oikawa Tooru is the king of anxiety, he doesn't like to tell people but he really does worry a lot behind closed doors so when you slowly start getting quiet on him he knows what is happening and at first worries that you are shutting him out because of something he did but then you still walk near him but you don’t touch him, he was confused and sad and angry and he wanted his s/o back like no one’s business, you were his love and he hated seeing you like this 

Oikawa stayed near you for several days silently wondering why you wouldn’t hug him and if he messed up or if you didn’t like him anymore and if you were going to break up with him, he felt like he was walking on eggshells at all times because he had no idea what was happening and he wanted you to be as happy and chipper as you were a few days ago 

You still walked to and from school with him, you just didn’t have any energy to talk to him and you didn’t seem to acknowledge his cheery good mornings or really even him at all

Oikawa worried and stressed about it so much that even when he wasn’t with you he was thinking and worrying about you and wondering how he could help or if he  could help

One day walking home from school he decided he was done waiting for you to come around and stopped  you outside of the school and made you tell him what was wrong, he ended up getting emotional and breaking into tears because he loved you and he didn’t want to stop loving you but this was really emotional and he wants to see you happy more than anything else and he told you that if you had to leave him to be happy than so be it because he can’t be selfish and take you like that 

You stood there in complete shock as Oikawa poured his heart out to you and you had no idea, you had been so caught up in your own head and in your life things that you hadn’t thought about how this was hurting him or how he was thinking that it was over between the two of you, that was the last thing you wanted and you had to figure out how to vocalize it to him, you had been going through a rough time and looking back at it you realized that you had shut him out and now your relationship was on the line 

You had no idea what to do so you just ran into him and wrapped your arms around his waist as you began to cry, you had been bottling up emotions for so long and hadn’t been able to get out of your own head and knowing that you hurt Tooru in the process hurt you, even more, he stood there in shock for a few moments before wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you close to him as he began to tear up 

After a few minutes of crying together, Oikawa took you back to your apartment and asked you sweetly if he could come in and when you nodded he pulled you inside and sat you on the couch with a glass of hot tea, some cookies, and a blanket as he tucked you onto the couch before planting a kiss on your forehead before going to sit on the couch across from you and turning on a show 

You aren’t expected to say or do anything because he knows in times like these you just need love and compassion because he gets this way after losing big games and with some time you will perk back up to your regular self and things will be okay, but until then he is going to take care of you and make sure you feel his love at all times 

Nishinoya 

Noya notices instantly that something is different with you and he wants to know what it is right way like he went in for his morning hug and you didn’t let him even though those always make you 

smile, yeah you are not getting away with that one 

He asks you several times throughout the day if you were okay and you were just quiet and didn’t really answer his question and he couldn’t help but worry about you and wonder what was happening, the day came and went and he was thinking about you all throughout the practice of ways he can try and make you talk to him so he came up with the perfect idea nd decided he was going o prank call your phone over and over with a crappy pizza delivery punch line with *67 so you couldn’t block him but he could call over and over again through practice making you annoyed, but it was always with a purpose, you loved crappy prank clals and he was going ot annoy you to death and then show up at your door with pizza and get you to tell him about the annoying prank caller and then talk to him, well the whole plan was foiled when the third time he called he forgot to hit *67 and ended up ringing with his name and you stopped him half way through his speal about it asking why he was doing this 

Noya was dead silent for the first time in his life, he just then finally cracked and told you that he wanted to make you smile and was literally on his way with pizza nad you seemed sad today and very quiet and distant but he wanted you to be sure that he loves you and that you would get your smile back 

Kuroo 

Kuroo wastes no time pulling you into an empty classroom and asking you what was wrong when you pulled away from him trying to hold your hand this morning, it was something that you two did every morning for at least a few minutes before he kissed the back of your hand, called you a princess and walked you to class

He pulled you into the room and immediately asked you what was happening and what was wrong and did not take anything as an answer, he knew you better than this and anything that was bothering you was now bothering him and he was not going to stand for you not talking through your feelings because that’s bad for you and he really does care for you 

He understands if you don’t want to talk before class but he is going to stick by your side and make sure that no one says anything to you that could upset or hurt your feelings because he doesn’t know what’s going on so for the day you have Kuroo the bodyguard (not that he isn’t usually but today he is extra cautious) and he takes extra care to carry your bag for you to try and relieve any of the stressors from your life today 

After school, he takes you to a little coffee shop and makes you sit and talk to him and you don’t want to he starts spouting lots of knowledge from science on how it is bad for you and that he wants to at least know that you are okay and if there is anything that he can help you with like he says it all in a way where you know you are welcome to talk and say anything but he is not going to force it, only encourage it 

If you finally do start talking and get emotional he takes you out of the little cafe quickly and brings you somewhere to help you relax and calm down as he reassures you that you are loved and that this is only temporary and no matter how bad it sucks there is light at the end of the tunnel and you are not alone, he is right there willing to put up just as much of a fight as you are 

He is going to take extra care of you the next few days as you start opening up to him more and being less quiet, he lets you take your time with things and is really understanding about it all and wants you to be okay, so when you pull him into a hug unexpectedly one day he just kisses the top of your head and rubs your back

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Four)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Three ※※※※※ Chapter Five

I absorbed and enjoyed the silence that was hovering around my house. I grabbed a glass of juice and sat down on the couch on the balcony. My mom left early for work, and Leah even tried to take me along for a photo shoot she was going to do in Venice. But, honestly, I'm not in the mood for dragging plaster casts around under the sun.

Not to mention that it is good to have moments alone to get my head straight. I know that in a little while it will be even harder to escape from these outings, I mean, I know I have to get back to my routine, but as long as I can avoid it, I will.

I put the juice on the table and pick up my diary. Unlike yesterday, I open it to the first page, like a book, and start reading. I go through a few pages about my feelings, about what I planned about my future, about my parents' divorce.

"I know it was inevitable. Anyone could tell how distant they were, I just didn't want it to be like that, that she suffered the same way I did. And I didn't want to feel that anger from him. But deep down, I know it's for the best.".

A few more pages telling about the scout who had seen me at the mall, the first photo shoot, the first runway show for a small clothing brand. Then arriving at the day I met Ashton.

"That one nobody expected/imagined/sought for. Ashton Irwin is my yoga partner!!! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, I never would have imagined that. I was dying of nervousness about being the new student, then he comes and offers to be my duo and oh gosh, he's amazing. Super fun and nice. AND HE CALLED ME UP FOR COFFEE ON SUNDAY.

" Ashton and I sat at a table on the sidewalk. Under the table, I snapped my fingers in nervousness as I read the menu.

- Do you already know what you are going to order? - he asks. I pout and nod my head in denial.

- All I know is that I don't want espresso. - I comment.

- Can I recommend one? I think you'll like it, it's whipped with cream and chocolate, very sweet. - He points to the menu after I accept his suggestion.

- It amazes me how good you are at coffee. - I joke, making him laugh.

- I like coffee. I once took a tour of a coffee farm in the countryside right here in California.

Coffee becomes our first topic. Because he knows and understands coffee, Ashton convinces me to do a tasting at a promising coffee shop in Brentwood the next morning. It was not the kind of program I am used to doing, but everything is different now, my life has changed and so have my types of programs.

- You are lost being my friend, I will call you all morning for breakfast together. - Ashton comments as we drive along the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

My body shakes when it hears the word "friend". I still wasn't sure if I could consider Ash a friend, but now, I'm happy to know that I can and that he considers me too. "

The memory warms and cheers me up, giving me more desire to read and remember.

I don't realize how much I was smiling until my cheeks start to hurt. After that day, his name becomes very frequent, until it joins Leah's.

"I don't know how to explain this girl. She came in so confident and nose to nose, I was sure she would be insufferable, then she opened her mouth and all I could think was 'where has she been all my life? ' And I don't want to get my hopes up or be a pain in the ass, but she's also a model and she talked about me going to her father's agency and if that works out? it's one of the biggest agencies in the world, I'm going to take off. God, if this is your will...".

I laugh at the following narrations that already involve Ashton, Noah and Leah. I can't remember what is written, but my imagination gives me a warm, happy feeling in my body. And if the reality has been as fun and nice as what I imagined, then it was very good.

I feel my body shiver and a chill take over my stomach when I see Luke's name for the first time. I cut the pace of my reading, preparing myself for what was to come. I reach for another glass of juice, buying time and even courage to read the rest.

"I had already noticed him looking at me, I just didn't want to believe he was looking at me, and it was perfect like that, until Ashton brought him in. It's one thing to know who Luke is, it's another to talk to him. In the end it wasn't so bad. I guess. I just stared for the first hour at anything but him, but I guess he must have missed it. Now I'm in the dilemma of if he liked me, I mean, we spent four hours talking and nothing, no kiss, no phone exchange. NOTHING."

I laugh at myself. I can perfectly see myself being embarrassed by him and not being able to look him in the eye.. If I could go back in time, I would tell this Marnie that Luke really liked her, even though I only had a basis in videos and pictures.

I pick up my cell phone and open insta, going to the date that marked my diary. 07/06/18. It was Ashton's birthday party. I flip to the side and see a picture taken in Hawaii, with the caption "The one where we got lost". I turn the page and find that trip.

"I know I am committing one of the biggest follies of my life and deep down, I don't even know why. That's a lie, I do, but that's not the point. In fact, it is, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Again, it is. The point is: I can't believe that at the last minute I agreed to go on a trip to Hawaii with a bunch of people I barely know. Except Ash, Noah and Leah. And P.S. Monday is his birthday. It only gets better.”

Apparently things between Luke and me went pretty quickly. I read a few more pages seeing that on his birthday, we had our first kiss and from then on everything happened too fast and messy.

I write about many fights and reconciliations. Both he and I, didn't want anything serious, but both he and I, couldn't stay away from each other and there was my reason.

"There is a good big part of all this blocking that I believe is because of what happened and because of me trying to pretend it didn't happen. Dr. Prescott says that if I don't put it out there and don't talk about it, it will consume me. 'Talking about our fears, worries and problems makes them smaller and easier to defeat.'

Besides my parents, no one else knows about that day."

I run my eyes quickly down the page, seeing that that one was about Stephen's cheating.

I close the journal in fear. I don't know what is coming, and I don't know if I have the courage to read it. It is one thing to hear about it from others, from their view and opinion, even if it is not on purpose. It's another to hear about it from my view, from what I've been through.

I have no doubt that there are things in these next pages that maybe even my parents don't know. Things and feelings that I have kept solely and exclusively to myself and I don't know if I am ready to face this, again.

I put down the diary and go in search of something else. Luckily for me, my guardian angel, aka Leah, calls me.

“Are you busy? I thought we could have lunch together. What do you think?” she bombards me, not letting me say hello.

“Hi to you too. No, I'm not busy, just reading my diary.” I run my hand over the cover, keeping in the back of my mind what awaits me. “ I'll take lunch.”

Before Leah can answer, I hear a muffled argument on the phone and wait for the fight to end.

“Sorry, but Noah is asking if he can come along.” she asks, without patience.

“Of course he can.” I hold my laughter, imagining the two of them fighting on the other end of the line.

“Okay, in a few minutes we'll be there. Kisses.”

I say goodbye to her and decide not to read the diary again. The doctor himself told me not to force myself into anything. I set the table and wait for the two of them to arrive.

After forty minutes, the doorbell rings. I make way for my friend and analyze the tall, muscular man behind her. Unlike my memory, the Noah of today has his hair well shaved and brunette, like his sister's. His green eyes fill with tears when he sees me crack a smile, and like his twin, he doesn't wait for permission and hugs me.

“Don't ever do that again, young lady. What a shitty world this would be without you!” he squeezes me before showering me with kisses, all over my face.

Leah turns and pulls him away from me, making me laugh. I follow them both into the kitchen and look at the bags they brought, excited.

“We made sure to stop by The Palm and pick up your favorite dish.” I didn't even know that I had a favorite dish at The Palm. But when Leah opens a box and I feel my mouth water when I see that noodle with shrimp, I realize how little I know myself.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” I ask softly, with a smile.

We start lunch and today my attention was on Noah, after all he was the new thing. I listen to him tell about the day we met, when he began to advise my career with his sister, and how things have been going since the accident.

“You don't have to give any interviews if you don't want to.” he assures me once again.

I still don't know how to deal with this "public figure" business, but deep down I feel a need to give a "satisfaction" to everyone who knows me. Noah has already sent some notes about my condition, but I know that I will have to appear on some channel in the future.

We changed the subject and started talking about my amnesia. Noah was not very happy that my first memory was his hair fiasco. I commented that I was reading my diary and asked about some events.

“Are we really lost in Hawaii?” they both started to laugh and agree.

“That day I wanted to hit Mark. I was getting very angry that he could not accept that he was reading the wrong map. Not to mention the car dying and us pushing," Noah comments.

“Mark was never good with maps. He says himself that he was a lousy Boy Scout.” Leah says before drying her third glass of water.

“Who is Mark?” I question.

“Mark is an ex-lover of mine. At the time we were chatting and he had the house in Hawaii. One thing led to another and in the end he went along.” Leah ends with a frown.

“And why did we let him drive then?” I ask, full of curiosity. They look at me as if I know the answer. Or, as if I should, but I just raise my eyebrows, saying nothing.

“Because it's Mark.” Noah shrugs. “He likes to be in control of everything.”

“The one who was definitely happy with us there was that guy who owns the coconut stand.” Leah says.

So there it is, the little wooden stand, with a pile of coconuts in front of it. A short man, probably about 50 years old, laughing at our misfortune while selling the fruit to us. Images begin to form in my mind.

" “- Look there.” Kyleen and I focus on the little man laughing as he takes the money from Michael's hand. “He sure is very happy with us standing here.” Leah says.

“Of course he is. We already bought twelve coconuts from him. Bad little man.” I make a face.

“We're not lost. It's just a shortcut.” we cut off eye contact with the stand and focus on Mark arguing with Noah and Ashton.

Leah looked at her lover in total disbelief at what she had gotten herself into. If regret could kill. The next moment Mark stomps his foot on the floor, like a child with a temper tantrum. At that moment, Calum looks at me with wide eyes.

I look away so that he doesn't see me laughing. Kiki, who was behind me, slaps me to stop, but this only makes me want to laugh more. I hide my face in her arm and in the end, my laughter gets out of hand. Both she and Calum start laughing with me, causing the boys to look at us curiously.

It takes no more than five minutes for Mike to join in the laughter with us and soon everyone else was laughing except Mark. Even the little bad man was laughing. It was the worst thing about us being lost, but that's what was happening and it couldn't be anything but comical, even though it was sad too. ”

“Of course he was happy. He sold about fifteen coconuts for us.” I don't even try to control my smile. Once again I remembered, and this is more than great.

The twin couple in front of me crack a big smile too, and soon they are clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor, making noise. I clap my hands with them in celebration.

“She is coming back.” Noah comes around the table, hugging me from behind and again showering me with kisses.

I was never one to have many friends. Usually it was just Bethany and Stephen, and a girl in my music class, but I don't know if I can consider her that, after all, we only talked during class and it was all very unrelated.

The point is that I have always envied those people who managed to have a large number of friends, and friends really, not just colleagues. Friends who call you for everything, who are always by your side, who enjoy your company, and who consider you family.

In this moment, with just Noah and Leah, I can see that I finally have these friends that I have wanted so much and without having to pretend to be something that I am not, without having to buy their attention, as I felt I needed it with Bethany. And if I'm happy like this with just the two of them, I can't wait to see the others.

“So, you said you were reading your diary, did you remember anything else?” Leah asks excitedly.

All the happiness and euphoria that had surrounded my body disappears. The bloody page with the bloody day comes back into my mind. They both notice my mood drop.

“I remembered a day when I went to have coffee with Ash, but…” I play with the edge of my cup, trying not to get too much into that energy. “I found a day where I tell about what happened.” I look at them, who are serious and attentive.

“Do you want us to read it with you?” Leah holds my hand across the table, gently patting it.

I shake my head positively and point to the notebook on the coffee table in the living room. I watch her return with the notebook and hand it to me. I open it to the marked page and stare at my handwriting again.

"I haven't had the courage to tell either Ashton, Leah, or much less Luke. I can't tell if I'm ashamed of it or just afraid of it happening again. The problem is that it's really starting to get to me, to the point where I get irritated when I see Luke and Leah talking and it shouldn't be like that. So I need to get it all out so that I can start over.

It was our anniversary. I snuck out of my work to see Stephen at his house. I wanted to deliver his gift soon. Two streets before his house I ran into Noelle, his mother, and told her I wanted to surprise him, so she told me to get the key under the third vase and go in.

Maybe it would have been better just to ring the doorbell and not have to see it. I was very quiet so as not to be discovered, and in the end, I was the one who discovered something."

My racing heart hurts from beating so hard. I can't keep my breathing normal, holding it at various times. I feel like it's a suspense book where no one wants to find out what's behind the door of the abandoned house, but needs to, in order to continue the story.

I notice in some letters and words the ink smudged and I know it was from my tears and it only hurts me more.

"There is no word to describe the disgust, pain, and anger of seeing him and her in bed naked. My until then boyfriend, and my until then best friend.

And what only made it worse was that she didn't even try to explain herself, didn't show an ounce of regret, even if it was a pretense. Nothing. While he tried to say it was nothing like that, Bethany still says it had been going on for a long time."

I close the journal angrily and throw it away, stopping on the other side of the long table. The lump in my throat gets bigger, but I don't want to cry, not for this and not again.

Deep down, I have always had a flea behind my ear with the two of them. The countless rides Stephen insisted on giving her. The way she always motivated me to fight with him, for reasons I thought were small and insignificant. But it was my first serious relationship, what did I know about dating, right? Bethany, on the other hand, had dated seriously twice.

It had always been there, I just didn't want to see it.

“I always suspected it and never, never wanted to believe it. After all, he was my boyfriend and she was my best friend. They wouldn't be able to.” I let out a humorless laugh.

The twins look at me fearfully, as if I were a mother scolding them.

“But you know what the worst part is? I believed him. He looked me in the face and said that nothing happened. That Luke was to blame for our breakup! How stupid of me!” I shout, picking up the diary and throwing it further away, as if it would hurt Stephen.

“Wait, what?” Leah speaks loudly.

I look at her startled and realize what I said. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I didn't want anyone to know about the meeting.

“You met with Stephen? When?” she turns the table around, coming closer. I swallow dryly.

“Yesterday morning," I begin softly, but it was enough for Leah to cover her eyes with her hands and snort. Noah laid his head on his arms, sighing as well. “I was confused and needed to hear and see him.” I start to defend myself.

“After everything your mother told you about him?” Leah asks.

“And you think I would believe her? Would you? With amnesia on account?” I retort. Leah takes a deep breath and denies it with her head, giving me reason.

“But you could have told, or asked, I don't know.” Noah ponders.

“Nobody would have let me, I know nobody likes him and rightly so.” I give in.

“That explains a lot.” Leah comments softly, but loud enough for me to hear.

“Explains what?” I ask confused.

She looks at Noah, who nods, giving her the green light. Like me, she swallows dryly before she begins.

“Explain why Luke is so grouchy and weird. Not wanting to come see you.” he answers, poking at the seam of the chair.

NO! No! No! No! No! Please, no. He can't have seen.

“You have to take me to his house.” I ask, heading for the hall.

“What?” the two shout following me.

“I need to talk to him. Now!” I shout the last part, putting on a jacket with some difficulty.

“But why?” Noah helps me.

“Because I think he saw something that wasn't supposed to happen and got it wrong.” I open the door, going to call the elevator.

“Oh, no!” they understand and soon follow me.

Things between Luke and me may be messed up, but the last thing I want him to think is that I cheated on him.

[alloftheimaginess]

Trust

Quick authors note. I made a discord group for supernatural fans because I want friends and I think it’ll be super cool to meet people that love supernatural as much as I do so if you want to join just click here to join the chat.

"There are just some things out there that you can't control, we did pretty good but it went cold" I say as we're all sat around in the jet after not being able to find the unsub.

"Maybe he's actually done" Penelope says shrugging.

"We can only hope, or at least hope he goes into hiding for a very long time. But I'm feeling confident that it's the end of his killings" I say knowing that he's not going to be killing anymore but it's not like I can exactly tell them that.

"How are you so optimistic?" Spencer asks.

"Because all of you gloomy people aren't, so someone has to hold out on some kind of hope" I say smiling at them.

A day earlier

"Be careful" JJ says as I'm walking out the hotel room.

"Will do" I say letting the door close behind me and I pull on my jacket and I go to the elevator so I can head to get some dinner.

"Yeah dad, I'm know that if I need you to call you, I've been your daughter for my whole life" I say laughing and he laughs with me.

"I'm headed back to the hotel, I'm almost there so I'm going to call you when I get settled in and explain everything to you" I say.

"Love you too" I say hanging up and I take the back way back to the hotel and I smile at people who smile at me and someone bumps into me, knocking me to the ground.

"I am so sorry" he says.

"It's okay, no problem" I say and he helps me up and when I go to pull away he pulls me into his chest and he smells me and a chill runs down my back because I'm pretty sure I just found our unsub.

"Let me go" I say and he shakes his head.

"You're that FBI chick" he says and before I can respond I'm knocked out.

I wake up and I'm tied up and I try to get free and someone opens the door and I scream and they run over and the taller one unties me looking around and the shorter one runs off "what's your name?" He asks.

"I'm Yn. I'm with the fbi and we're here investigating and I'm going to assume that the person that kidnapped me is the guy we are looking for" I say and the shorter one laughs and I get a better look at them and it clicks into place.

"Trust me this is not a problem for the fbi so just pack up and go home" Dean says.

"Dean" Sam says.

"What? Do you want to tell her about the monsters out there Sammy?" Dean asks and I smile at them and Sam looks at me, staring for a minute and I can see the moment he realizes.

"Wait Yn Ln as in Dn Ln?" He asks and I nod.

"I remember you" Sam says still working on my hands as Dean says unties my legs.

"So you became an FBI agent?" Dean asks and I nod.

"Yeah, I wanted to help people in a human way, you know. I grew up hunting and I hunted until I went to college and I was glad to finally settle down and be able to help people but with a team. It got hard, all of the people I couldn’t save, all of the people I let down. I had to try to put that behind me" I say and I stand up when I’m free and I pop my shoulder back into place, hissing at the pain and I shake it out.

"So we think we're going after a shifter" Sam says and I nod.

"Yeah it took the shape of me and left me here to die and now it's with my team and we need a way to lure it out" I say thinking and it clicks.

"I use to have this ex named Adam if we text my number and ask to meet up because it's an emergency, something about his mom or something, fake me has my memories of how I drop everything for him and if I were to want to keep the act up I would meet up with him" I say.

"What's your number?" Dean asks and I give it to him and he hands me the phone and I quickly type the message in, pressing send.

"Okay, I sent the address and now we wait and see if he res-" I get cut off by the sound of the response.

"Alright let's go" I say handing him the phone.

"Okay that was totally badass" I say after we kill the shifter.

"I haven't hunted in like 12 years" I say cleaning the knife off.

"You were pretty good out there to have not done it in 10 years" Sam says and I smile at him feeling extremely giddy.

"How does it feel?" Dean asks and I nod.

"It felt amazing, almost enough for me to go back but I have a whole life here" I say and they both nod.

"Remember when we stayed in that motel?" Sam asks.

"For like 3 months together" Dean says and I nod.

"Of course I remember that" I say laughing.

"I remember you taught me how to get more out the vending machine than what we payed for" Dean says and I smile at him.

"Yes, I still know and use that trick to this day" I say laughing and they laugh with me.

"That's when I fell in love with you" Dean says and he quickly back peddles.

"I mean not-" I cut him off by laughing.

"It's okay" I say shaking my head.

"That was the best summer of my life, and that's saying something because I've had amazing summers in my adulthood. Young me was sure that we would end up together and have a family but then I was slapped by reality" I say smiling at him.

"I'm going to go get the car" Sam says and I nod and he walks out.

"Hey" I say and Dean looks at me.

"Maybe we can grab dinner the next time we see each other" I say.

"That would be nice" he says and I smile at him.

"If you guys ever need a place to crash I'm hardly ever home so just let me know and you can use my place if you're ever in Virginia" I say and he nods and Sam comes back in.

"Ready?" He asks.

"So ready, I need to get back to my room and wait for the trail to go cold" I say.

"It's crazy, you're actually an FBI agent when we pretend to be one, let's hope our paths cross when we really need you" Sam says and I smile at him.

"How about a drink before I turn in" I say and they both nod and I smile at them.

"Let's go then" I say.

"Hey thank you" I say as we pull up to the hotel I'm staying at.

"For what?" Dean asks.

"Saving me, I probably would have died if you guys weren't on his trail already and a shapeshifter is not a cool way to go at all when I’ve experienced way more things" I say and Sam laughs.

"No problem" he says.

“Oh yeah, there’s been a pop up of things no one has ever seen before” Dean says and I laugh.

“And I would love to hear nothing about that” I say and they both laugh.

“That’s fair” Sam says and I smile at them.

"Get out, let me hug you one last time" I say and Sam is the first one out and I hug him in a big hug rubbing his back.

"You've gotten so big, I wouldn't even have assumed it was you" I say laughing and he smiles at me.

"I know, one day I just had a growth spurt" he says laughing.

"Yeah, but you’ll always be my little Sammy" I say and he pulls away and Dean comes over and he wraps me in a hug before I can hug him.

"It's good to have you back in my life" I say.

"I agree, we'll definitely have to meet back up" he says and I smile at him.

"You know it's not fair how you've managed to get even more handsome while I turned into a literal rat" I say laughing.

"You did not turn into a rat" he says and I laugh even harder.

"Whatever" I say and I hear the hotel door open and I turn around to see Spencer.

"Hey are you okay?" He asks and I nod.

"Yeah I'm good" I say.

"Penelope said you just ran out and you haven't been answering your phone. We were on the way to look for you" he says.

"Yeah, sorry I got a message and I had to handle some business" I say and he nods.

"Spencer these are my childhood friends" I say.

"They were here looking for the unsub and I ran into them" I say.

"This is agent Frehley and Criss" I say introducing them and he shakes hands with them.

“Dr Reid” he says.

“It’s nice to meet you” Sam says.

“I’m going to go let everyone know you’re alive” he says and I nod smiling at him and Sam hugs me one last time before heading to the car and I smile at Dean.

“You have my number, don’t be afraid to use it” I say kissing him and I pull away and I head into the hotel.

[itsonlyahiatus-ihope]

Louis Imagine

Today I get to surprise my best friend for his birthday. Hes been on tour for 2 and a half months. I miss him like crazy, and lucky for me Zayn called me yesterday, and now I'm on a plane to New York where they are performing tonight.

*at the venue*

I was brought backstage as the boys were performing. I'm not really sure what's going to happen, but the boys said they had it covered.

*last song*

"Okay, before the last song we have a special surprise for Louis since today is his birthday." Louis was super confused as to what the boys meant. Then I was handed a cake and brought out on stage. Louis looked over to me and immediately smiled. The boys all walked over to me. Liam took the cake and I hugged all the boys. And when I got to Louis he picked me up and spun me around. I hugged him tightly, and then he set me in the ground. "If everyone could sing happy birthday to Louis..." Everyone sang as I was handed the cake again. I walked in front of Louis, and he blew out the candle. Harry was behind Louis and he winked at me and then I knew what to do. "Happy birthday Lou." I said with a smile, right before I smashed the cake in his face. "You are so Paying for that." He said before he wiped some off his face. I knew what he was about to do, so I ran. He caught up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. He then wipes the cake on my face.

*Last song*

Louis still had Cake and frosting all over him while singing the last song. As he came off stage I hugged him again, getting frosting in my hair.

"Thanks love." He said, "I mean, what are best friends for is they don't smash cake in your face on your birthday." I said while laughing. "Ha ha real funny!" "I know! I'm hilarious!" He rolled his eyes and I hugged him tightly. "Happy birthday." "I missed you a lot." "Yeah, you too." "Now, I've got to go get cake off my face." I laughed and he went into the bathroom. The other four boys came over and I hugged them all. "Thanks again Zayn for getting me here." "Of course." "Oh, and you guys sounded amazing on stage." "Thanks." Niall said. Harry, Liam, and Zayn walked away and Niall said, "So, now that you are here.... Are you going to tell Louis?" "No way! I mean if he doesn't feel the same way it could ruin our friendship. And if he does, that could also ruin the friendship." "You'll never know if you don't try." "I'd rather never know." "Come on! I know he likes you." "I'm not so sure." "I am!" "Well I don't c-" "Is everything okay?" Louis asked as he walked over. "Umm.. yeah." I said with a smile.

(a/n: just pretend there is only a little bit of frosting on Louis' shirt)

"Oh Lou, I think you missed a spot." I said. "Oh, really!?" He said while laughing. "I'm just gonna go..." Niall said while turning around and purposely nudging me. I rolled my eyes and smiled. "So how long are you going to be on tour with us?" "I leave in the morning." His smile then turned to a frown. "Hey, what's with that frown." "You just got here. I don't want you to leave in the morning." "Lou, you only have 2 months left. Actually less than that. Only 2 and a half months. Then you will be home and we can spend time together." "It's just- Nevermind." "No, talk to me." "It's nothing. There is just something that I need to tell you, but I can't. And if it goes the way I want it to, you leaving tomorrow would make it even harder." "Well what is it?" He looked around us and then back to me. "Lou, talk to m-" I was cut off by soft lips being placed on mine. I started to kiss back. We stayed like that for a second. We pulled apart and I said, "So, what was it you wanted to tell me?" He laughed then said, "Don't you already know?" "Mmm... No, I don't think so." I said with a smile. He leaned in and kissed me again. This time it lasted a little longer. As we pulled apart he looked at me with a small smile. "TOLD YA!" I heard from behind me. I laughed then turned around just to see all of the boys staring at us. "Ooooooooooo!" They all said making me blush. I hid my face in my hands, and Louis noticed, so he wrapped his arms around me and I hid my face in his chest. Which not gonna lie, it kind of smelt like frosting. After a few moments I pulled away, and Louis looked at me and said, "Soooooo...." "Soooo..." "I really like you y/n." "I really like you too." I said with a big smile. "Sorry to ruin the moment, but we have a bit of a surprise." "What?" I said as I looked to Harry. "Well, we kind of knew something like this was going to happen. So, we got a way for you to stay with us the rest of the tour." "Wait, WHAT!?" "SURPRISE!" The four boys said. "Oh my God! THANK YOU!" I hugged them and then looked to Louis. "Guess won't have to leave in the morning." He hugged me again and then pecked my lips. "Okay, again... I hate to ruin the moment, but we gotta get in the bus." "Wait, I only brought enough stuff for tonight and tomorrow morning." "Don't worry, we already have that covered." "Okay...." We left the venue and went to the bus.

*later that night*

It was late, but I couldn't sleep. There were too many thoughts running through my head. "Y/n? What are you doing up? It's like 3 in the morning." "Can't sleep." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, just my brain isn't ready to shut off just yet." "Well, what have you been doing while everyone had been asleep?" "Thinking." "About?" "Everything." "Wow, you really know how to explain stuff." I let out a small laugh then said, "I have just been thinking about people." "People?" "Okay, one person." "Who?" I rolled my eyes playfully and smiled. "You know who!" He laughed and said, "Do I?" "Oh no no no! You are not using my idea against me." I said while laughing. "Hey, I was thinking.... Our next stop in Ohio maybe we could do something before the show." "That depends. What do you mean by 'do something'?" "Like, a date." I smiled and said, "Yeah, I guess I could try and fit that in my busy schedule." We both laughed, and I kissed him lightly. "Now, you should get some rest." "Ugh! I don't want to!" "What if we just go on my bunk and cuddle till you fall asleep." "Okay, I like that idea." We went into his bunk and got under a blanket. I laid my head on his chest and cuddled up to him. I could hear his steady heartbeat, and his slow breathing. His fingers played with my hair, causing me to go into a deep sleep.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Best Things ~ J.V. (part 8)

A/n: This part is super upsetting. Character death, graphic violence, I dare even say gore. Homophia, which I should have been warning a while back I am so sorry for that. Things are gonna get HEAVY- I am so sorry lol.

Word Count: 3800+

Playlist

Masterlist

"Nah, you're not crazy," Harleen giggled.

"Says you," Y/n teased, rolling his eyes. "You may have a doctorate, but you're also bias."

Her smile widened. "Okay that's fair." Y/n sighed, sitting back in his chair. He looked down at his hands, smile small as he got lost in thought. "What's on your mind?"

"Harleen is kind of a mouthful," Y/n told her. "Do you like the name?"

She tilted her head, as if considering. "I never did. When I was younger I had a friend who called me Lee, but with things happening-" Y/n's face scrunched up and Harleen snorted. "Exactly. Name's already taken- and it would be even weirder if I went by Dr. Lee, so I scratched it."

Y/n nodded. Then he sat forward, his elbows resting on the table. "So you've never had any other nicknames?" She shook her head and then shrugged when Y/n donned a surprise expression. "Well I have to give you one then. That's what friends do, right?" She grinned at Y/n's words and he watched the room get a little brighter. She was magic like that- as if she was made of sunshine. Her happiness was contagious, and she made the world a little better. She was accepting and also calm, making him feel safe as well as loved. She was his best friend and he was hers and they gave each other something they couldn't get with anyone else: unhindered fun with absolutely no expectations. It was an odd place to find real friendship in, but here they were anyway. "What about... Leena?" She immediately shook her head and he chuckled. "Uh... I mean, there's always Harley."

She considered that. "You know what, I like it." She crossed her arms. "Harley Quinzel." She nodded. "I'll allow it."

Y/n rolled his eyes. She was only like four years older than him, but had far too quickly fallen into a rhythm of acting like an adult talking to a child every once in a while, as a joke. Whether she was flaunting the years she had over him, or the schooling, Y/n wasn’t sure, but he refused to acknowledge it and it had become an unspoken inside joke between them. "What about you? I have to give you one now."

Y/n shrugged. "I don't like nicknames."

Harley tilted her head, the bottom of her blonde ponytail brushing her shoulder. "Why not? You like giving them."

"Well, yeah..." He bit his lip. "It's just, every bad guy has a code name, you know? Oswald Cobblepot goes by Penguin. Edward Nygma is going around as Riddler. Then there's Mr. Freeze. I just feel like if I take an alias, it'll be official you know? I'll be as crazy as the people I associate with and as evil as everyone says I am."

Harley hummed. "Okay, that's fair." She sighed, raising her hands to rest her chin in her palm. "Speaking of people you associate with. You and Jerome..."

Y/n's mood darkened. It had been a while now and Oswald was gone and Jerome still hadn't made an appearance. "I think he's mad at me." Harley tilted her head in confusion and Y/n shrugged. "I left with Alfred because Bruce needed me. Didn't give him a heads up, and then went missing for, like, months..." He shook his head. "Maybe he thinks I've gone back to my old life, or that I've left him behind. I just feel like he's avoiding me and one doesn't usually do that for no reason, so I figure-"

"What if he's just busy?" Harley proposed.

Y/n snorted. "With what? Reading a really good book series?"

Harley pursed her lips. "I guess you have a point."

"Why do you even care?" Y/n asked, raising his hands to knit his fingers behind his head.

Harley stared at him silently for a long time. She had the look on her face she always does when she'd trying to read Y/n's mind. When she's analyzing everything she learned in school and looking at the actions and words that he was currently giving as context, as well as past ones, and then somehow putting it all together to figure out the secrets sometimes even he didn't know. The same magic that made Arkham home also gave her the ability to read minds- Y/n had determined she was a proper superhero.

After she reached some kind of conclusion - she always nodded after she'd done the reading and then switched which leg was crossed over the other - a little smile teased her lips. She was trying to hide it. And failing. Y/n tried not to be curious. Usually when Harley didn't tell him something it was because he wasn't ready to hear it... but that smile. It was too late. He had to know. "What?"

Once he asked, the gate broke and she grinned. "You're in love with him."

Y/n snorted. "No. I'm not." The coy curl of Harley's lips added to her raised eyebrows to make Y/n doubt himself, even though he could feel his feelings and knew that it wasn't... he didn't... no way. "He's important to me," Y/n gave. "I care for him. But... love..." Y/n shook his head. "I don't know about that. There's been too much going on- I haven't had enough time with him."

She nodded, expression serious, as if this was a very important discovery. "I call Maid of Honor at the wedding though." They locked eyes as Y/n went to tell her off, but then a slow smile rose to her face as he realized she was joking. They both busted up into laughter.

"Whoever I marry, the position is yours." He winked at her and she flipped her hair, both of them giggling.

A timer went off. Harley stood, gathering her stuff and sighing. "That's my cue. Same time tomorrow?"Y/n nodded then stood.

He draped his arm around her shoulders. "You know, you make this place bearable. You're a real friend to me." He kissed her forehead. "What would I do without you, hm?"

She rested her head on his shoulder for a second before they began walking and it got too awkward to coordinate. "Probably the same thing I'd do without you. Be alone and miserable." She popped up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. He pretended to gag and she fell into a short fit of soft giggles. "You're an idiot."

"Ah and yet what I lack for a brain, I make up with a big-" He cut off and she groaned. "Heart," he enunciated. He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "I have quite a large heart, full of love for my favorite gal." He shook her slightly, making a point that said gal was her.

"Every lesbian deserves a best friend with as little brains and as big a heart as you," Harley joked.

"And every gay deserves a best friend with as much brain and just as much heart as you." He finally let her go as she moved to the door that would lead outside. This is where they parted- her, to home, as he was her last patient as per usual. Him, further into the Asylum where he would have dinner then return to his room to be alone and sleep. Goodbyes were the pair's least favorite part of the day. "Until we next meet, Madame," Y/n initiated, pulling away to bow deeply.

Harley grabbed her doctor's coat lightly, pulling it out as if it was a dress as she bowed back. "I shall count the seconds." They laughed one last time, waving before she turned and left. He watched her go until she disappeared. She turned back several times to wave yet again, until she couldn't see him either just by turning around.

The second she was out of sight, the world lost a little color. It was a little darker. His smile got smaller and Y/n's shoulders sagged. He shoved his hands in his pockets before turning back to the hallway that lead to his room, beginning the trek.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. People rarely touched him. The only person that touched him like this was one that Y/n hated so much that his hands curled into fists in his pocket, his face suddenly cold and empty as he stared straight ahead, halfway through a step- his foot on the ground and extended, but not carrying him forward as it had been intended to. He took a deep breath through his nose. Unfortunately, in all the chaos and people getting booted from Arkham after beating on Y/n, the one person that meant the most hadn't been caught because everyone refused to rat him out.

The man who'd started it all.

"You and her..." The older guard mused, a nasty smirk on his ugly face. "I thought you were gay." He said it mockingly, like he'd caught a child who hadn't said they weren’t hungry sneaking food when everyone seemed to be asleep.

Y/n rolled his eyes, forcing his body to relax as he faced the man. The monster. "Not every girl in the world was born solely for men to shove a dick into them, Jameson." The older man glared and Y/n smiled, getting satisfaction. "As a matter of a fact, Harley and I are just friends."

"You're pretty affectionate for just friends," Jameson argued. Y/n still didn't know the man's first name. He didn't care enough too. He didn't want another name that tasted bitter in his mouth. He already had his fingers crossed he'd never meet a cute boy with the last name Jameson, because the name alone would ruin Y/n's chances before he'd even taken a shot. No reason to make it even harder for himself.

"We're comfortable around each other." He rolled his shoulder back once, slightly stiff from sitting so long. Jameson wouldn't attack, knowing that Y/n would report him instantly- especially in such an open space, with cameras and the chance of someone rounding the corner any second - but one could never be too safe, just in case. "She gets me like no one else does. But, as you so wonderfully pointed out, I'm GAY." Y/n enunciated the word, going the extra mile by taking a step closer to stress it even more. "Girls aren't my thing."

Jameson looked like he wanted to deck Y/n. The younger boy's lips curved into a mocking smile in response. Now the guard was the one who had to control himself. "You guys have a lot in common?"

Y/n shrugged, too caught up in his casual gloating that Jameson couldn't act out like he wanted to- like he used to be able to. "Enough. We talk a lot. She's cool." He relaxed thinking about Harley. "She doesn't think I'm crazy. It's nice." He cleared his throat, focusing back on the enemy in front of him... only to immediately be confused by the very odd expression on Jameson's face. "What?"

"Nothing," the man dismissed, moving to leave. "I've heard enough. You're both a waste." He shook his head as he left and Y/n glared at his back until he was gone. Then the boy turned back toward the cell and finally made his way.

Man, why did he have to be surrounded by such assholes? Why couldn't Harley be around all the time? Why couldn't he be free? They could get an apartment and talk all the time. Help each other get through life and protect each other from unwanted attention. Be themselves all the time. Make jokes and exchange irritated expressions when idiots like Jameson said stupid shit like he always tended to.

Tomorrow. He'd see her tomorrow. That wasn't too far away.

He could wait until then.

-

Y/n's knees gave out from under him and he fell, cracking them on the cement. He didn't even feel it. His attention was being completely held by the TV, which was turned onto the news. It was a small screen that had been installed in one of the Day Rooms recently. They were rarely ever allowed to watch the news, though. In places like Gotham, far too often the news held very upsetting content that set inmates off- either into panics, or into violent rages. Y/n had stood to turn it off when he'd realized what news was being shared. Someone had been murdered. Old news. This was Gotham. Then he'd heard the name.

"23-year-old Harleen Quinzel was found dead earlier today. Her body was badly beaten, with words carved into her stomach. It was the cuts on her wrist that were the cause of death, though it's been determined that none of this was self inflicted. We received a photo of the body recently. Beware: what you're about to see is not for the faint of heart."

Suddenly the screen was showing the broken body of Y/n's best friend. The sunshine girl with the bright smile and the contagious laugh. The girl who was going to be Y/n's Maid of Honor. Y/n's better half. She was limp and unmoving, her eyes wide and empty. Her skin was pale, nearly white, except for where dark, huge bruises and blood discolored it. Her hair had been cut off, the blonde locks left next to her head but clearly detached. Her shirt had been rolled up to letters on her stomach- carved as promised.

There was an L next to a G, in a circle and crossed through once. Underneath the symbol read: Sinner.

Someone was talking, but Y/n couldn't make out what they were saying. A hand in his shoulder and he looked over to see a concerned guard. A woman. She knelt next to Y/n, but she wasn't the one touching him. No, that hand belonged to Jameson, who had a sick expression on his face- a cross between smugness and victory, muted as if he was trying to hide it, badly masked by some version of concern that was so unconvincing that Y/n ripped his shoulder out of the older man's hand.

He was on his feet again and running. Out of the room and to his cell- despite all the people who kept asking him what was going on, and someone in the very back changing the channel as the news reporter announced, "If you have any information, please contact-" Y/n ignored the rules. He ignored the people yelling at him. He ignored the people trying to stop him. He just started running and he didn't stop until he was in his room, where he opened the door and closed it behind him. His heart was ramming against his chest and all he could hear was the rushing of his blood in his ears. He saw black spots and felt an emotion bubble up that he couldn't even begin to put name to. All he knew was that it was dark and twisting and it was very quickly consuming everything good.

Something in him broke. It snapped off. Something vital. Y/n was aching, but he didn't know what it was or where it had fallen to as he lost it. He just knew there was suddenly a gaping hole where something very important used to be, and he felt absolutely terrible with it gone.

On the upside, he could finally breathe. His chest loosened and his body relaxed and as the door opened behind him, he turned to see the person with complete calm.

"Jameson." The word was not a greeting, but more of an observation. No. It was an accusation. The older man smiled and Y/n's insides began to twist and boil- less like a tightening of anxiety and more like a snake, seconds from attacking. "Why?" He stepped forward. "She was innocent."

Jameson scoffed. "You think you two are subtle? You two act like you're together and then talk about how you're not- you just 'get' each other." Jameson shook his head, cracking his knuckles. "You're spreading your sickness, Y/n." The snake coiled tighter, hissing and spitting. Y/n felt his calmness very quickly drop, perfectly placed with rage. His body didn't move, he just suddenly had a bunch of energy and he was waiting for the perfect moment to use it. "You two aren't quiet either. Strutting around here acting so out of line, in front of me. Acting like you're not being evil." Jameson scoffed. "You're evil, Y/n. And if they wouldn't let me punish you here, I'd have to get more creative. Even if you don't see it, you're in love with her. What you think you are is unnatural, and I knew if you could see how you really feel-"

Y/n's hand was around the man's throat. Jameson tried to push the younger boy away or claw his hand off, but Y/n just rammed him into the wall behind him. Jameson's head cracked against the grey wall, his efforts suddenly becoming useless. "You think I'm dangerous as a disease? You're so desperate to cure me. You're about to find just how very dangerous I am, Jameson. All on my own, with just my two hands." And then he began to squeeze. Jameson writhed and fought and clawed but when he started to get strong, Y/n would smash his head again or ram his knee into the man's junk and the efforts died down once again.

It took longer than Y/n thought. Jameson started to change color, his eyes bulging and his lips moving desperately but nothing coming in or out. Just when the man seemed about ready to pass out, Y/n let him drop to the floor. He gasped, clawing to try and get away. Y/n smiled, toeing the door gently closed. Jameson squirmed away, features taken over completely with terror. Y/n felt amazing.

"You will never hurt another person, ever again." Y/n squatted down, taking the man's thin hair in his hands. "Me however?" Y/n giggled. "You've helped create a monster. Know that every person I kill in the future is on your hands. Every injury is your fault. I'm not a violent person, Jameson." He snorted. "Well, I wasn't. But it seems you fuckwads only answer to violence, so..." Y/n shrugged casually. Jameson shook his head, choking out pleads for his life. Y/n snapped the man's neck and he stopped begging. It was so easy... The silence was wonderful. Y/n felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. "I'm done sitting idly while assholes run Gotham." Y/n stood, not even bothering to do anything but leave the door wide open as he walked calmly away, grinning like an idiot.

Something had been broken and lost indeed. It was Y/n's self control. His moral compass that kept him grounded and toeing the line between good and bad. It was the thing that kept reminding him he was a Wayne. That he was a good person. That he had a family that depended on him, in some way or another. That he had Alfred and Bruce, who he did want to visit even if he also wanted a life outside of them. That he had Oswald, who most often found solace in Y/n's sanity and depended on his restraint to reel him in when people were trying to set him off; Oswald needed Y/n's sense to balance his emotions. And, overall, Y/n was driven by pure spite not to let those damn reporters be right. He would be good and successful and he would show all of them that he could be more than the black sheep of the Wayne family. The disappointment of Gotham. The failure, always in the shadow of the Golden Boy younger brother Bruce Wayne.

But those people who Y/n cared about so much had let people like Jameson walk around, unhindered and unchecked. They had let him get beat up for a very long time before he was nearly killed and their hand was forced. They had let evil people run around and control things while they locked up Y/n for being gay. For being attracted to a man even though he wasn't a woman. There were murderers running wild, with super powers and incredible genius, but the problem people were deciding to focus on was that Y/n was gay.

Well, he was done with the lot of them. He was going to get out and prove to all of them that he was more than a Wayne. More than a mistake. More than a shadow. More than evil or good. More than Bruce's older brother. More than the one dude who had feelings for Jerome Valeska. More than one more gay plague on the face of the planet.

They wanted a monster? They would get one. And Y/n wasn't going to stop until he was satisfied, even if it meant all of Gotham had to die.

-

"Knock knock."

The door opened and Y/n looked over, his face finally showing emotion as his surprise rose. "Jerome?"

The redhead smiled, striding toward Y/n as if he has a tasty treat to share. "My little lover boy." Jerome hooked his finger under Y/n's chin. Y/n yanked his face away. Jerome frowned. "Are you mad at me, pretty boy?" Y/n glared at him. "I'll take that as a yes." He leaned backward. "What have I done, My Darling?"

"You've been avoiding me. We haven't talked in, like, months Jerome. What the fuck?"

"A tad dramatic," Jerome hushed. "And not totally fault." Y/n opened his mouth to argue but Jerome gently grabbed Y/n's throat, pressing his fingers gently into the skin. Their faces were suddenly very close and despite himself, Y/n suddenly felt a thrill to finally feel their skin touch as cheek brushed cheek. "I've been busy planning our escape, if you hadn't noticed." Y/n's eyes drifted to see a nervous Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch. "Come with me, won't you? I think we've been apart long enough."

Y/n suddenly began to relax. He didn't manage to smile, but he did get excited. "Well... lead the way."

Jerome left an excited kiss on Y/n's cheek, letting his hand fall away from Y/n's throat in favor of shooting into the air in victory as he giggled, turning to his two partners. "And so we all escape! Come now, we don't have much time." Y/n stood as Jerome lead the way, all four of the men finding their way out of Arkham Asylum finally.

The fun was about to begin.

[helloalycia]

hey, stranger | lena luthor

summary: after Lena leaves for National City shortly after her brother's attempt to kill Superman, you're left to learn to live without her. Until a year later, when you find yourself as CatCo's new junior photographer and discover Lena Luthor owns the company.

warning/s: none.

author's note: buckle in folks, this is a long one

masterlist | wattpad

One Year Ago...

"Look, I know that what happened was terrifying, and I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like, but Lena, you can't just leave."

The raven-haired woman avoided my eyes as she crossed her arms nervously.

I felt a pressure on my chest at the mere thought of her leaving Metropolis, and stepped forward to lace my fingers with hers.

"You're not your brother, and people will see that," I told her, my stomach doing somersaults when her glassy green eyes stared up at me. "They just need time."

She swallowed hard. "I don't want to wait for the rest of Metropolis to play catch-up. I can help better the world in National City, where there's a fresh start and a different Super there that hopefully won't judge me on the premise of my name."

I frowned when I heard her say that with such determination and ferocity, as if she'd given it much thought. It was too late, I knew that voice. It was the voice she used when she'd truly made up her mind and there was no convincing her otherwise.

"Y/N, I love you so much," she spoke again, grabbing my attention when she pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and stepped closer to me, our bodies pressing together gently. Her eyes were bright and piercing as she continued, "I need you to know that you are one of the few good things I have left in my life, probably the only good thing." She chuckled dryly and rested a hand on my cheek. "I know that I'm not the easiest person to be with–"

"Lena, I've never thought that," I cut her off instantly, shaking my head. "Don't say that."

She smiled sadly, glancing down to the floor. "Look, I know that what I'm saying sounds insane. But I need this fresh start. I don't think I can stay here, having this constant reminder about what Lex almost did."

I knew where she was going with this, but she was beating around the bush. My heart was crumbling with each second passing, but at the same time, I felt a small sense of relief that Lena may finally have the chance to be truly happy elsewhere, without the immediate ties of her family.

"I'm not asking you to come with me," she finally said it, eyes meeting mine as a tear dropped down her face. "You have a life here. A job. Friends and family. You can't just pick up and move with me."

"I could try," I said, a little hopefully as I gave her a small smile.

She shook her head, her voice cracking. "I wouldn't let you."

I breathed out slowly, feeling a lump form in my throat. "When are you leaving?"

She sighed regretfully. "Tomorrow."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise. "Tomorrow? Lena, you can't be serious! I thought you meant a few weeks, maybe a month, but–"

"I know, I know, but if I stay longer, it'll only be harder, and I'm afraid that I may change my mind," she cut me off, holding my arms now. "It's better this way." She leaned down to find my eyes, certainty shining through. "Y/N, it's better this way."

I pursed my lips, my eyes watering as I realised how real this all was. She was really going to leave and I wasn't sure when I would next see her again. If I would see her again.

"We still have today," I said, a statement rather than a question.

She flashed me one of those rare beautiful smiles she had, only reserved for me. "We do."

I lessened the gap between us by leaning forward and going in for a kiss. I didn't spend long thinking about it, knowing I didn't have time to waste. I pressed my lips to hers in a passionate kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist and another on the nape of her neck.

Her floral perfume filled my nose as she kissed back, lips agape as she sucked on my lower lip. It was a salty kiss and it didn't take long before I realised we were both crying into it.

We pulled apart for air and I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, feeling my warm tears soak my face.

"I'm really gonna miss you, Lena Luthor," I admitted, forcing a smile on my lips.

She sniffled adorably, wiping away my tears. "I'm really gonna miss you, too."

***

Present Day...

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N, the new junior photographer," I introduced myself to my superior.

"Oh, shoot, you're here," the head of the photography department, Mr. Rodriguez, said startled.

I knitted my eyebrows together with confusion, a smile still politely on my lips. "Er, yeah... should I not be?"

His mind seemed like it was racing a million miles a second. "Yeah– no! I mean, no, you should be. You're in the right place. It's me who's all jumbled up..."

He headed to his computer at his desk as I awkwardly stood by the window, waiting for further instructions.

He tutted to himself. "Sorry about this. My assistant wrote you in my diary to be showing up tomorrow. I had a whole thing planned and everything."

"Oh, I'm, er..." I didn't know what to say though, as I remembered clearly getting a call asking to begin today.

"It's not your fault," Mr. Rodriguez said, waving a hand dismissively before looking up from his computer. "She's new, you see. Still getting used to the computer systems."

"I guess I can come back tomorrow," I offered awkwardly.

"No, no, that would be silly, you're already here now," he said quickly and apologetically. "I'm just thinking..." He crossed his arms with thought as he began to mumble to himself. "I've got several meetings today... Sasha is out sick... Nick could– no, no, he's out working on a story... so is Jamila and Markus..."

"You sure you don't want me to come back tomorrow?" I asked again, feeling like an inconvenience.

He looked up as if suddenly remembering I was stood there. "What? No, of course not." He glanced at the clock on his wall before widening his eyes with realisation. "Follow me for a second, will you, Y/N?"

I had no choice but to follow the older, slightly baffled photographer, as he led me outside of his office. His office was an all-glass box essentially, as every other office in this place was. We stood outside the door a moment and I took in the hustle and bustle of CatCo's newsroom for a second time that morning. I wondered what we were waiting for when Mr. Rodriguez seemed to have an idea.

"Kara! Kara, can I borrow you for a moment?" he called out, stepping forward to get some blonde woman's attention.

The blonde stopped walking and greeted Mr. Rodriguez with a chirpy smile. "Yes, sir?"

He seemed to breathe out with relief as he checked his watch. "Kara, I'm sorry to do this but my assistant messed up my schedule and it turns out that the lovely Y/N Y/L/N, my new junior photographer, has showed up and I am unprepared."

I awkwardly smiled at the blonde as she glanced my way.

"Do you think you can show her around the place? Just until lunch and then I can make time to do things properly."

This Kara woman seemed unsure as she laughed nervously. "I'm only a reporter, sir, I don't think I'd be the best person to–"

"Please, Danvers, I'll owe you one," Mr. Rodriguez said with a pleading smile.

"I really don't mind coming back tomorrow," I chimed in, looking to him. "This seems like a bad time. You're really busy and–"

"It's okay, I'll do it," Kara cut in, smiling at me.

"Yes, Danvers, you're a life-saver," Mr. Rodriguez exclaimed before looking to me. "I'm very sorry for the unprofessionalism, Y/N, especially on your first day, but I will make it up to you at lunch. Meet me in my office at half twelve?"

"Of course, sir," I said with a smile. "You should probably go, don't want to be late for your meeting."

His eyes widened with realisation. "Right! You're absolutely right! I'll see you ladies later."

I suppressed a laugh as he speed-walked away, leaving me alone with the reporter.

"Is he always that panicked?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kara chuckled. "Yes, he is. It's probably best you saw him like this. Now you know what you're getting yourself into."

I snickered. "So, your name is Kara?"

"Kara Danvers, yes," she introduced with a smile, putting out her hand.

I shook it and returned the smile. "Nice to meet you, Kara. I'm Y/N Y/L/N."

"The new junior photographer," she filled in jokingly.

"Right," I agreed with amusement.

"Well, I guess I'm your personal tour guide for the morning," she said, before motioning around us. "This is the kitchen."

I laughed at her lame joke. "Look, I can totally make myself busy until lunch if you have stuff to do. I didn't know Mr. Rodriguez would ask somebody to help me."

"Nah, it's fine, I don't mind," Kara said dismissively. "I used to be an assistant for Miss Grant, so I'm pretty familiar with this place, including where you'll be based."

"Wow, assistant for the boss, huh? That must have been... an experience."

Kara laughed as she led me around the newsroom. "I guess, yeah, but I learned a lot. Miss Grant taught me things I wouldn't have picked up elsewhere and..."

***

"That was James Olsen," I said with amazement. "I just met James Olsen."

Kara suppressed a smile. "He's kind of the guy in charge around here. If you weren't introduced to him, it would be strange."

"You know he took the first ever photo of Superman, right?" I said, glancing at Kara, still a little starstruck.

"Yes, I do know that," she said, crossing her arms and watching me with an amused smile.

"His photography is amazing," I rambled on. "He's got so many great shots of Superman, and now Supergirl as well. He manages to capture the most heroic moments in a single photograph without fail. It's amazing."

"I know that, too," Kara teased. "You said all of that and more just a moment ago when we were in there."

I felt my face grow warm with embarrassment. "Right, right, sorry..."

Kara laughed at my dismay, patting me on the shoulder. "It's alright. Besides, I think I've almost shown you everything. There's a few people I can introduce you to though, if you want. It might make settling in here a bit easier."

"Oh, wow, yeah, that sounds great," I said appreciatively. "Thanks."

"No problem," she said happily, before adding, "I think my friend, Nia, might be free to–"

"Kara!"

Kara looked over my shoulder and a smiled brightly at whoever was there. "Lena, hey!"

I widened my eyes, unsure if I'd misheard the name or not. I turned around and forgot how to breathe for a second, realising I hadn't. Because none other than Lena Luthor was stood before me, her smile fading as her eyes flickered to me from Kara, flashing with recognition.

I swallowed hard, before offering a small, friendly smile. "Hey, stranger."

She looked stunning, absolutely radiant. Just as I remembered, save for her hair which had grown a little longer. My heart was suddenly remembering what it was like to be with her, beating up an uncontrollable rhythm in my chest.

"Y/N," she finally breathed out, recovering from her momentary shock. "You're here."

"National City is a big place," I said, feeling like a teenager with a crush as her green eyes were trained on me. "I didn't think I'd see you."

"I own the company," she said quietly, still surprised.

I raised my eyebrows. "Wow. I didn't–" I cleared my throat, "–I didn't know that."

"Wait, you two know each other?" Kara asked, and I forgot she was standing there until she spoke up, looking between us with a puzzled expression.

I licked my lips and stayed quiet, not sure what to say. Thankfully, Lena spoke up for the both of us.

"Y/N is an old friend of mine," she said carefully, eyes never leaving mine. "Back from Metropolis."

Kara's mouth was agape with confusion, but she didn't speak. I could feel her looking between us both with much intrigue.

"What are you doing here?" Lena asked, cocking her head to the side, eyebrows furrowed.

I straightened up as I found my words. "I'm the new junior photographer. Today is my first day."

"Oh, well, congratulations." She seemed like she was still catching up with everything, as was I. "Have you met James Olsen? He was our lead photographer and art director before being promoted to CEO." She glanced behind me at his office before nodding that way. "I'll introduce you, come on–"

"Lena, it's fine, Kara already introduced me," I said, smiling appreciatively. "Thank you though."

Lena bit her lip and nodded, before looking down to her shoes uncomfortably.

"Anyway," Kara began, filling the silence, "is there anything you needed, Lena? I'm not on my lunch break yet, but–"

"There's no rush," Lena said, shaking her head. "I just came to check on things. I needed to speak with James about a few things." She glanced at me, adding, "Er, we're going out for lunch, if you'd like to join us? I mean, you don't have to, but if you'd like, you can..."

This whole situation was so out of the blue and neither of us could ignore the awkwardness between us right now.

"I've got plans with Mr. Rodriguez, but thank you anyway," I declined politely, forcing a small smile.

"Okay, yeah, of course." Lena nodded before smiling at us both. "I should get going."

"See you later," Kara said with a wave and a smile.

Lena returned her smile before looking to me, her eyes softening. "It's nice to see you again, Y/N."

"You, too, Lena."

I watched as she walked away, before releasing a breath when she was out of sight. It was just like we'd met for the first time all over again, myself feeling butterflies in my stomach and unable to get her piercing green eyes out of my head. And here I was thinking a year would make a difference.

"You okay?"

I blinked and looked up, realising Kara was staring at me with concern. I put on a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, sorry, yeah. I just– I didn't think I'd see her again. At least not today."

Kara seemed hesitant as she stayed quiet for a moment, before finally saying, "I'm guessing old friends means something else in Metropolis..."

My smile faded as I nodded. "Yeah..."

Kara led me away, the two of us walking down the hall.

"Are you and Lena, er–"

"No, no," Kara said, reassuringly. "We're just friends. Best friends, actually."

I felt embarrassed for even thinking I had a right to know. "Sorry, it wasn't my business."

"It's okay, don't worry about it." Kara flashed me a small smile. "She's not with anyone right now by the way."

I raised an eyebrow and Kara gave me a knowing look, as if she knew what I was thinking.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to Nia," she changed the subject, thankfully. "She's a reporter here."

I nodded and followed Kara, but I would be lying if I said Lena hadn't plagued my thoughts.

The last time I'd seen her was just over a year ago, when we'd said our goodbyes before she left. It was a hard goodbye, a hard breakup in general. I loved her a lot and knowing she was moving away to be someone better hurt because I couldn't stop her. I would never stop her. But I couldn't leave with her either.

We were friends long before we were a couple, so we made sure things wouldn't be weird when we broke up. Of course I still had feelings for her, but we agreed to try and remain friends.

It worked for a while. We would text and occasionally call, whilst she was settling into National City and turning L Corp around. But then the calls were fewer, and the texting lessened, and before I knew it, we'd lost touch. I wasn't sure if it was because maybe we both knew it would be easier and hurt less, to not have each other at all if not in the way we wanted, or if it was because we were getting busier, but it happened.

When I stopped freelancing as a photographer and decide to apply for a permanent position somewhere, the job from CatCo practically fell into my lap and I couldn't turn it down. I genuinely didn't believe I'd bump into Lena – this was a big city! But of course she owned the company. Just my luck.

***

I'd been in National City for a few weeks now and hadn't seen Lena since that first awkward encounter. I wasn't sure whether to be offended or not, since we were friends before being a couple so I at least thought we could pick up where we left off, but that was naïve of me.

I was enjoying my job at CatCo and already had a few things in the works with the help of Mr. Rodriguez. I'd also befriended Kara and a few of her other friends – Nia and James. It was still weird that I was 'friends' with James, since he was such a talented photographer and I couldn't imagine it, but it was great. They were a fun lot to be around at work, along with a few other photographers in my team.

My latest assignment was covering an L Corp gala, which wasn't my first choice, but I couldn't argue with it. Thankfully, the reporter I was partnered with was Kara, so I wasn't entirely uncomfortable. Apparently Kara had covered a lot of Luthor-related stories, so was the best person for the story.

So, that's where I found myself now, standing in the doorway of a massive ballroom, full of important-looking, rich business professionals. The gala was a charity ball, raising money for children's hospitals around National City, that Lena owned. I felt proud of her when I looked around and saw the impact she had made by moving here. She was certainly just as determined as I remembered her to be.

"This is very fancy," I commented aloud, feeling a tad bit underdressed in my dress pants and blouse.

"Wouldn't be a Luthor event if it wasn't," Kara joked, before nudging me in the arm. "Come on. Let's have a look around."

I followed Kara as we showed ourselves around, myself looking at the best vantage points for some nice shots, as well as subtly wondering if Lena was around.

Eventually, I left Kara to do her interviewing as I wandered about, taking photos of everyone. There was a lot going on, so it wasn't hard to find interesting subjects. I spotted Lena at one point, mingling with other guests. I almost forgot I was supposed to be taking photos when I saw her because she looked amazing.

She was wearing an elegant off-shoulder black gown and her long dark hair was sleek and straight, shining under the lights. I could make out the bright green of her eyes from the other side of the room and I had to remind myself that I was there to do a job before I began to drool.

I snapped some photos of her, maybe a few more than necessary, but she looked beautiful and I couldn't help it. I took more photos of everyone before deeming it enough and settling on a table on the 'quieter' part of the hall.

I was snacking on some of the hors d'oeuvres as I looked back through the photos I took when I heard Kara call my name.

I looked up mid-bite into a salmon puff when I saw Kara approaching me, Lena in tow. I straightened up and finished chewing my food before smiling at both women.

"Hey, Kara," I greeted, before meeting Lena's gaze. "Lena. This is a lovely event. You've done an amazing job."

Lena smiled bashfully. "If there's anything rich people love more than lavish events, it's lavish events that showcase their charitable donations."

I cracked a smile – her sense of humour hadn't changed.

"You get any good shots?" Kara asked, nodding to my camera.

I looked down at it. "Yeah, I was just looking through them."

"Can I...?" Lena smiled as she motioned to my camera.

I nodded a little too enthusiastically. "Yeah, yeah, of course."

She stood beside me, a little closer than I expected, or maybe it seemed that way because I was holding my breath. She accepted the camera from my hands and began to flick through the photos. She was smiling down at them all, nodding with approval.

"Still as talented as I remember," she muttered.

I didn't even realise she'd spoken because I was too busy taking in her profile. The sharpness of her jawline contrasted with her long dark hair pushed behind her ear was distracting, and I felt my mouth go dry when she looked up at me, dark eyes suddenly staring right at me.

"Huh?" I spluttered, unintelligibly.

She laughed and rolled her eyes playfully. "Never mind, Y/N."

I felt my face grow warm. "Sorry, I'm just... is this strange? Me and you?"

Lena cleared her throat and suppressed a smile. "If it's strange, it's my fault, sorry. I should have greeted you properly a few weeks ago. I really wasn't expecting to see you again."

"Me either," I said, shaking my head. "No need to apologise. I think we both thought it was a little weird... but it is really good to see you again." I glanced around. "You've achieved a lot, Lena. And I have a feeling this isn't even the half of it."

It was Lena's turn to get embarrassed as she avoided my eyes, smiling to herself. "Thank you, Y/N."

It went quiet for a moment, a comfortable silence between us, until Lena looked up and lost her smile.

"I know that things ended a little... suddenly between us, but I never intended for us to stop speaking." She frowned a little. "I don't really have any excuse for why we stopped. But I am sorry it did."

"Hey, it takes two to tango," I joked to lighten the mood, making her glance up at me. "We both lost contact with each other. It happens. But I'm here now, and you're here, and well, maybe we could try and be friends again. If you want, that is."

A beautiful smile graced her lips as she nodded. "I'd like that."

My heart skipped a beat at how her eyes lit up. "We can get coffee and catch up, if you'd like. I'd love to hear about all you've done this last year."

"Coffee sounds great," Lena agreed. "And it's not just me who's been up to new stuff. I wanna hear all about how you ended up at CatCo."

I chuckled. "It's a date." I widened my eyes when I realised what I said. "That's not what I meant, sorry. It's just a plan and–"

Lena's laugh cut me off. "Y/N, it's fine, I know what you meant."

I nodded, a little flustered. I soon realised we'd been talking a while and Kara was nowhere to be found.

"She left a moment ago," Lena said, realising I was looking for her. "Between me and you, I think she got us together today for a reason."

"She cares about you," I pointed out. "She seems like a great friend."

Lena nodded, smiling nostalgically. "Yeah, she is. One of the first I made when moving here."

"Come on, we should probably chase her down and let her know we're good."

"Lead the way, Y/L/N."

***

Lena and I followed through with our plans, meeting up for coffee to have a big catch up. It was amazing hearing all she'd achieved in the past year. I wasn't surprised in the slightest however, as I knew that if anyone could do it, she could. It was also lovely to see her look a lot better, health-wise. When she left, she was still shaken up about what Lex did – it was reassuring to know she'd recovered, even slightly.

We hung out a few more times, mostly with Kara, Nia and James present, but it still felt good to see her at all.

Kara even invited me over to her place one evening, claiming she hosted a weekly game night and would love if I joined. That was where I met Kara's sister, Alex, and their friend, Brainy. The two worked for the government, but weren't as serious as they let on.

Nia and James were also present, along with James' sister, Kelly, who was also Alex's girlfriend. Lena was there, too, and admittedly, I looked forward to seeing the raven-haired woman yet another time.

"Charades?" Alex suggested, already grabbing the bowl of charade ideas.

Everyone agreed and naturally got into teams. They'd been playing a while, so it seemed that they had teams organised in advance. The Danvers sisters were one, the Olsen siblings were another, and Brainy and Nia (who had been flirting all night) were the last, leaving Lena and I to pair up.

"Is that okay with you guys?" Kara asked, realising we had been left to team up. The blonde had been hesitant in pushing us together too much when we hung out, clearly worried about pressuring us into anything. It was thoughtful and I'm sure Lena appreciated it as much as I did.

"Being partnered with the smartest person in the room?" I asked rhetorically. "Why would that be a problem?"

Kara seemed taken aback as everybody laughed. Lena nudged me in the side jokingly, just like old times, and Kara finally came to her senses and grinned.

"Game on, Y/N," she played along, before standing up. "Alex and I will go first."

The Danvers sisters performed alright, managing to get eight points in the 60-second round. Next up was Lena and I.

"You wanna go or should I?" I asked, glancing at her.

"You go, you've always been better at it than I have," she said, ushering me to stand up.

I chuckled and stood up, readying myself.

"And... go!" James said, starting the timer.

I grabbed the first slip of paper. Water bottle.

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering how one could act that out, but nonetheless, I locked eyes with Lena and began to make a drinking motion.

"Glass!"

I shook my head and repeated the action, emphasising it a little.

"Water! Glass of water?"

I repeated the action, motioning to the 'bottle' in my hand.

"Water bottle!"

"Yes!" I shouted back, before moving onto the next slip of paper.

Watching a romantic comedy.

"Ooh! Okay, okay, er..." I sat down on the floor, looking ahead at the TV as if I was watching it.

"Watching TV," Lena guessed.

I pretended to laugh one second and then cry another.

"Watching a comedy!"

I wiggled my hand to show she was almost there. I made a love heart with my hand and did the whole thing again, hoping it would make sense.

"Watching a rom com!"

"Yes! You got it!" I shouted with a grin, before moving to the next one.

Finding Nemo.

I began to make the whale noises similar to how Dory does in the film and Lena guessed it instantly.

She laughed as the others were watching eagerly, curious to if we would mess up or beat Alex and Kara.

Scuba diving.

I pretended to dive off the couch onto the carpet and she guess it immediately.

"Five more to go and thirty seconds left," Nia reminded us.

Hide and seek.

I covered my eyes and began counting backwards from ten.

"Hide and seek!"

Walmart.

I wasn't sure how to act that out, so I said, "Er, that, er, the shop opposite the McDonald's down the street!"

"Walmart!" Lena said with a laugh.

"Can she do that? Talk in the game?" Brainy asked as I moved onto the next slip.

"Technically she didn't say the answer, so yeah," Nia said with a shrug. "Three more left and twenty seconds, guys!"

Having a bright idea.

I pointed to one of the light bulbs above as and motioned to it on my head, making a 'ding' noise with my mouth.

"A bright idea?"

"Yes! Okay, er..."

A penny for your thought.

I dug out a penny from my pocket and held it up before pointing to my head.

"Penny for your thought!"

"Okay, how is she getting these?!" Alex complained, mildly confused.

Kelly laughed at her girlfriend as I moved onto the next one.

Coconut.

"Shoot, er..."

"Five seconds left!" Nia called out.

"That thing your car ran over on our second date!" I shouted, meeting Lena's eyes and hoping she'd understand.

"Three!"

"Oh! Er, it was..."

"Two!"

"Come on, Lena!"

"One!"

"A coconut!"

"Time's up!" Nia called it, and I looked to her to see how many points we got. She looked at her point system before sighing disappointedly. "Nine points."

"Yes!" Lena and I shouted with excitement, and she stood up to embrace me in a hug.

We were laughing as James tried to get our attention.

"You drove over a coconut on your second date?" he asked, probably for everyone, and all eyes were on Lena and I as we remembered it like it was yesterday.

"Look, I don't know how it got there, or where it came from," Lena began, a hint of amusement in her voice, "but we were driving back from this restaurant when I drove over a bump or something."

"We stopped to take a look and it turns out it was a coconut," I finished, shaking my head. "Weird time. But yeah."

Everybody seemed confused, but Lena and I exchanged amused knowing glances.

"Okay, well you two aren't going to be partners next week, since it's unfair how well you work together," Nia commented, before standing up. "Brainy, it's our turn."

Lena grabbed my hand and led me to the couch, the two of us sat side by side watching the others have their go. I didn't even realise we were still holding hands at first, then I felt the warmth from her skin touching mine and smiled to myself. Friends could hold hands, so it wasn't a big deal, but it felt right. I had missed this.

***

Some time passed and any hint of awkwardness between Lena and I had disappeared. We were friends, like we used to be before we got together, and it was nice. I tried to ignore any old feelings that were trying to resurface when I was with her, and I assumed it was working since I hadn't done anything stupid to ruin what we had.

It did feel good to spend all this time with her as well. I'd forgotten what it was like to have her in my life, to have someone with me who understood me. We had inside jokes, memories, time spent where we knew each other inside and out. It was almost a relief to have that, knowing we didn't have to start from scratch.

I guess it was always expected – we'd loved each other dearly. That couldn't be erased, not even after spending a year apart.

A few months into the midst of this friendship, I was at CatCo, in the darkroom processing photos from my camera when I heard a knock on the door.

"Y/N? You in there?"

I recognised the voice as Lena's and called back, "Yeah, you can come in, just be quick!"

The door opened and closed quite quickly, barely a sliver of light creeping into the room thankfully.

"Woah," Lena said, looking around.

"C'mon, you've been in a darkroom plenty of times," I teased with a half smile, glancing up at her.

"Not for a long time, actually," she retorted, playfully glaring at me.

I grinned at her as she joined my side, watching as I hung up some prints I'd just processed.

"So what's up?" I asked, glancing between her and what I was doing.

She was distracted by my hand movements, finally looking to me when I spoke. "Huh? Oh, right. I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch with me. I was free, but now I think you're a little busy."

"No, lunch sounds great!" I said, smiling at her. Her eyes were dark in the red light, yet they made my stomach do somersaults nonetheless. "I just need to finish these last prints. You can stay if you want."

Lena nodded and watched as I moved some more prints from the stop bath to the water tray.

"Where are these?" she asked, looking at the photos hung up already.

"That rally downtown," I remembered. "A few days ago, I think."

"Oh, right."

I glanced at her, watching as she stared at everything with awe. I smiled, admiring how adorable she looked. She always used to do that whenever she'd join me, back when we were dating. No matter how many times I showed her, she still found it all fascinating.

"You want a go?" I asked, earning her attention.

Her head darted to me as she raised her eyebrows. I nodded to the prints that needed 'washing' and she nodded.

"Sure, what do I do?"

I handed her a pair of metal tongs. "Just pick that up," I pointed to the first tray, "and put it in here." I pointed to the second tray. "But first, hang that print up on the line above so it can dry."

She did as I said and I watched to make sure she didn't spill any of the chemicals on herself or her fingers.

"Okay, just a few more here," I said, pointing to the last few prints. "You think you can handle it?"

She rolled her eyes at my playfulness and I smiled as I watched her finish up. When she finished, she set the tongs down on a paper towel. I spotted a little bit of developer solution on the counter and spotted the rest of the paper towels on the side, next to Lena.

I rested a hand on her back as I leaned over her, grabbing the paper towel. I cleaned up the last spot and tossed the paper towel in the bin, about to speak, but I was surprised when I looked to Lena and saw her move forward quickly, pressing her lips to mine.

She pulled me close by the waist and kissed me hard, making my heart beat faster and faster in my chest. I relaxed into her embrace, resting a hand on the side of her face. She moved closer, my back hitting the counter behind me as she swiped my bottom lip with her tongue.

It was like we hadn't been apart when she pulled away for a second, before reattaching her lips to mine. I was still surprised and I knew I should have stopped us, but my heart was saying otherwise as I kissed back, missing the taste of her lips against mine.

She slipped her tongue between my lips and I let out an unsolicited moan, definitely knowing I should stop this now.

"Lena," I breathed out, managing to part our lips for a second, but she reattached them in an instant, and I almost gave in all over again when she began to suck on my lower lip, enticing me with her Luthor charm.

"Lena," I tried again, using every ounce of willpower to pull apart from her.

She finally listened and pulled apart, her eyes meeting mine apologetically, realising what she'd done. "I'm... I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I assured her, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. "That was... unexpected."

"I actually wanted to do that for a while," she admitted, eyes flickering to the ground. "I tried not to, but I couldn't not do anything..."

I felt a little hopeful as I watched her. I couldn't help but blurt out, "I think I'm still in love with you."

This got her attention, as she looked up and searched my eyes. "You are?"

I nodded slowly, holding my breath for her response.

She pursed her lips, raising her hand to caress my cheek. "I think I'm still in love with you, too. I don't think I ever stopped."

I smiled as she looked between my eyes. I always felt a sense of calm when looking in hers, and I guessed some things didn't change.

"I really missed you when you left," I admitted. "I tried really hard to get over you, but I don't think I did. Not really."

"I missed you, too," she muttered. "I hated that I left you."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I said, shaking my head. "Sometimes, the timing is off. But I'm here now and I think that maybe the timing is in our favour again."

"Are you saying you want to try this again?" Lena asked, a hopeful smile on her lips.

"Well, it's either that or we make out every now and then without any real resolve," I joked, and she laughed, smacking me in the shoulder before pulling me close again.

"Nothing will get in the way of us this time," she said confidently. "I won't let it."

I wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled down at her. "You do tend to get your way."

She smiled and leaned into me, her head fitting into my shoulder. I held her close, closing my eyes and smelling that familiar floral scent of her perfume.

She pulled back and met my eyes, a sense of relief present in them.

"I'm really glad you're back," she said softly.

My heart was still pounding in my chest as I smiled at her. "Me too."

[alaina-achilles]

ii

challenge one

((sorry for the kinda short fic haha, I’m getting crazy busy with assignment deadlines smh. anyways thanks for the nice rp anna @arin-schreave. and love our rps as usual ana!! @itssara-oc @itzelbm-oc ))

The etiquette lesson was… uneventful. And I certainly was not ready to be thrown on so much information so early in the morning. Especially with an empty stomach. Luckily I’ve got that covered and ate a packet of oreos in my room before going out. And I’m also lucky I know most of the basics thanks to the gatherings my sisters and I are often forced to attend. My maids were really nice and they did my hair nicely and I opted for a simple and formal dress for the interview.

The interview.

I sigh as I think about it. To be honest, I’m quite… nervous. I've had many interviews in my life before and my mom has certainly prepared me well for each and every one of them. It’s not the cameras that worry me - I’ve had a few interviews with them before on my book and career… It’s the prince. I’m so used to knowing the interviewee well (by doing my research, of course) that I often know just what to say to please them and make them like me. But I know none of that about the prince.

I sigh and bite my lip and turn around to walk to the food when I see the girl I was hoping to see for the entire morning.

“Hey!” I say as a way of greeting. My friend looks up, sees me and immediately smiles.

“Achi!” I smile at the sound of my new nickname. Sara quickly pulls me into a hug. “that quick etiquette class was something…” she lowers her voice. “I'm sure I wasn't the only one who can feel the tense atmosphere.”

“I know what you mean... I’m glad I already know the basics... how are we supposed to learn all of that in one go” I agree with her, shaking my head as I feel sorry for those who have never learnt any of that before. We talk more about the class and decide to start piling food onto my plate. I hope nobody heard my stomach growl.

“You know I'm so tempted to ask to switch seats but I know it probably won't be the best idea.” Sara says as we groan about how far each other are.

I giggle at the thought of Sara asking another girl to switch seats. “yeah, i guess it’ll be a good chance for us to meet new people…” I frown as I stress about how I haven’t actually met anyone else yet. “Have you met any other girls yet?”

Sara chuckles. “I guess you can say that.” She cocks her head to the side and sighs “I've said a few words to some of them but I'm not sure anyone clicked with me like you. How about you?”

I smile at her words. “yeahh I havent really too…” I say with a shake of my head as I think of how I spent the whole night talking to my sisters instead of socializing. I turn to the drink selection and widen my eyes in awe. “I never knew there are SO many types of milk!”

“Ah milk something I wish I could drink but I'm lactose in tolerant” Sara replies with a giggle. “Anyway look at all the food. I'm just hoping to enjoy my time here!” She smiles, but for some reason, it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I don't feel like I'll last one. First of all the prince isn't in my opinion really aware that this is a selection, he has 35 girls hoping to ask for his hand in marriage. Second of all, as someone who was once thinking of marrying the so called love of my life I know he's not completely over his ex, and third there is going to be a lot of drama.”

I cock my head to the side as I think about her words, not expecting that. “Yeah I know what you mean... The prince doesn't seem happy at all.” I sigh. “I honestly don't know what to do with the interview later... hopefully he’ll find someone he can love and be happy about”

She shrugs in response. “I don't know how I'll introduce myself. I could smile and lie or tell him what I really think.” She bites her lip. “I really do hope he finds someone among these girls to make him happy. Or at least someone who would even remotely fall in love with him despite possibly being a rebound. Anyway, do you know who's gonna be at your table? Anyone you wanna be friends with?”

I nod at her words. “That’s true... I think I’d give him one chance, the interview, to see who he really is…” I say with a smile. Sometimes I forget that this selection goes both ways too. I’m not the only one who has to be liked by the prince. “I’m not sure but I think Itzel’s on my table... I haven't met her yet but she was sitting near me during the etiquette class so yeah. You?”

“I wish I could but I myself am in a similar situation as him. And I feel awful I took a place of someone who would have tried harder. Or at least wanted this. Anyways, I'll be cheering for you!!” She says with a smile. “What kind of vibes does she give? She seems cold and intimidating to me. Jen and Andromeda, and a couple more. They seems nice. I just hope I'll be able to make small talk.”

I thank her with a smile. “And I hope you also find the one you love and loves you back... “ I pause as I think about her question. “Itzel... I don’t know, she seems like a bit cool and we didn't say much just now. Hopefully some good food will cheer her up!”

We continue chatting about Itzel and other stuff as we continue to fill our plate. We finally decide to finish our conversation to go and enjoy our food after a short while. I tell her good luck with finding new friends.

She nods and gives me thumbs up. “I will try my best, Achi.” For some reason, I feel like she’s acting a bit off, but I brush it off as nerves from the interview. But as we walk away, I turn back around and mouth “thanks bun” to which she smiles in response. I sigh and look at my plate of food happily as I walk back to my table.

“Hi, Itzel, right?” I say to the girl near me.

She smiles politely, nodding in acknowledgement. “Hello and you are correct, I am Itzel.” She hums in thought as she looks at me. “I am trying hard to remember names and faces, I am bad at this so I am sorry for not quite knowing. I believe your name starts with an A, right?”

I brighten up at her guess. “Yup!! I’m Alaina!” I look at my plate. “How’s the food?” Food is always a good topic to start off.

She chuckles. “Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Alaina. It is delicious. There's quite a few things that are new to me so I'm very happy right now.. You'll enjoy the food very much. Are you excited to meet the Prince after this?”

I smile at her reply and take a bite of my food and widen my eyes. “this IS good!!” I laugh. “ I am! And also quite nervous”

We continue to talk more and I learn that Itzel is into neuroscience.

“Wow neurology and neuroscience... I did a few psychology courses in uni and I struggled so badly with the neuro stuff.” I tell her truthfully with a laugh. “You are one brave girl for wanting to do that.”

Itzel turns out to be super nice as we get to know each other. She also helped calm my nerves as we finished our lovely breakfast. I make a mental note to tell Sara about it.

“Anyway, let your other friend know I'm not THAT bad. I could see her shake every time she looked at me.” Itzel tells me as we stand up, seeming to have read my mind.  

“I definitely will!! And good luck on your interview with the prince!” I tell her with a laugh. She smiles and wishes the same to me and soon we are ushered into a waiting room. I look around to find Sara, but can’t see her as I scan the room a few times. I shake my head, she’s probably touching up in the bathroom. I sigh and before I can even choose a new girl to talk to, I’m called into the room.

I take a deep breath and hold my head high like Mom always tells us to as I step into the room filled with cameras. I smile at the cameras and try to keep my walking natural and elegant.

You can do this.

And if all goes wrong, blame your sister. She caused all of this anyways.

I hide my smile at the silly thought and turn my focus to the gorgeous guy that is the prince. While I may not know the prince well, one thing I know for sure. He is definitely good-looking. Despite the lack of a er genuine smile. He must not have been taught acting in his education. I think with a giggle as I keep my smile intact. I don’t miss him looking at my name tag. And I guess, he also didn’t take the time to learn our names.

“Good morning, Lady Alaina, please have a seat.” He says formally, motioning to the sofa.

“Good morning, your highness.” I say with a smile before pausing in slight anxiety. Do I curtsy or…? I decide to quickly bob into one before sitting down hastily. I can instantly hear my mom’s voice in my head.

Be professional, Alaina. Stop with the fidgeting nonsense. You’re a lady, Alaina. And don’t ever drop that smile. You know that’s one of your best physical traits.

Prince Arin sits down next to me gracefully and angles his body towards me. “How are you doing this morning?”

A simple and straight-forward question.

I place my hand on my lap as my mom has taught me to since I was a little kid. “I’m good. I met some of the other girls and that was quite interesting-” I answer. “And also what you’ve been doing the whole morning.” I add with a laugh. “How’s yours?”

He nods at me. “It’s going well, thank you. Did you sleep well?” I vaguely remember some random guy saying their morning had been bad but now that they’ve met me, theirs is perfect. I almost laugh at the memory.

Focus, Alaina.

“I didn't sleep for very long as I was busy talking to my sisters.” I tell him truthfully as I smile fondly at the thought of my sisters. “But the sleep is good, the bed is really comfy!”

He nods. “I’m glad you were able to speak with them. Big changes can be difficult.” His eyes go to the cameras then back to me. I wonder what is he thinking. Does he wish for them to be gone like I do? I wonder if he is different when away from the cameras. I catch myself almost frowning at the thought but quickly smooths my face back to the perfect smile. “Which province are you from?”

“Atlin.” Then I decide to try to make him smile. My friends laugh a lot at this alliteration. “Alaina Achilles of Atlin.”

He does not smile. “And what do you do in Atlin?” I almost frown again as I realize how factual his questions are. All of them should be written in my profile or something…

Maybe it’s all just for the cameras.

“I just got my degree and was in the process of finding a job. I ended up deciding to give writer another try.”

He nods again. “What kind of writing do you do?”

“Fiction…” I look a bit embarrassed as I think about my published book that I’m not very proud of. It was definitely not my best work. I sigh and lower my voice so that only he can hear. “Okay fine, y’all prolly have had people stalked us thoroughly so no point in hiding this... “ I say then louder “I wrote and published a book a few years ago.”

He does not just nod at this! “Oh.” He pauses as his head bobs. “What kind of book? I didn’t read your files so I’m not up to speed on your accomplishments.”

Guess the questions aren’t just for the cameras then.

I almost scoff at his choice of words. “Accomplishments” make this really sound like a job interview. Perhaps it is, in a way. So instead I act surprised and look down as I realize I have to tell him about my book in front of cameras. Not like the media doesn’t know about this already. “it’s a um teen romance…”

“I haven’t read any books from that genre but I’m sure it must be wonderful. Being published is an accomplishment.”

Accomplishment.

“It’s not... it’s a cheesy book written by a sixteen year old…” I peeks at him through my eyelashes. “I’m sure you’re gonna laugh if u ever came across it.”

And for the first time, he actually shakes his head instead of nodding it. “I tend to stick to non fiction so I think you’re safe.” He finishes with a weird expression that looks suspiciously like a ghost of a smile. I soften as I realize how much this is bugging him as it’s bugging me and decide to laugh it off to ease the tension.

“Well it’s actually called “the bad boy ruined my project” so I’m not really worried. Do you like reading?”

“I do, if I can find the time. Your book sounds like something my sister would enjoy.” He looks a teeny bit more relaxed as we talk about something less er formal.

I nod. “Well, then I’ll recommend it to her when I see her. Any favorite genres?”

“I’ll read mostly anything.” I almost roll my eyes at his answer that tells me nothing about him. He glances over at his watch then looks back to me. “Thank you for speaking with me this morning, Lady Alaina, it’s been a pleasure.” He says as he stands up.  “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay.”

I instantly nod and stand up as well, relieved that this is finally over. “Thank you for your time, your highness. The pleasure’s mine.” I tell him with a smile as I awkwardly bob another curtsy. “You too.” I say as he just looks at me without any expression at all. I hold back a sigh and smile at the cameras again and give them a little wave as I walk back out of the room.

I take a deep breath the moment I step out of my room. I really need to talk to someone. That interview was… nothing that I ever had before. I think about going back into the waiting room, but I really am not in the mood of making small talk with other girls. So I decide to go back into my room. Since I’m one of the first few girls to have finished the interview, the halls should be nice and quiet.

As I walk up the stairs to my room, I hear a bit of hushing and then a closing of a door followed by the sound of the door locking. I ignore the sound as I walk past the first two rooms to my room. As I walk past Sara’s room. I pause. There seems to be someone else in the room with her… But I know for sure, she isn’t due to have her interview until later…

I shake my head and decide she has probably met a new friend. Despite myself, I can’t help but feel a bit sad. Even Sara’s making new friends, probably someone she enjoys the company of over me since I haven’t been to her room before. What am I doing here? I ask myself as I walk into my own room and unzip my dress.

Not bothering to pull my dress off, I reach for my phone and call my sisters.

[kyunsies]

Hi mädch!!! I'm sending this after you said goodnight haha, but I'm glad you got to sleep early today :) you deserve a good night's rest!!!

I will definitely send you pictures of our plants soon so be on the look out for that 👀👀

About being a musician, I do have a degree in music and I studied for four and a half difficult terrible years to get it 🥲 but it was good, truthfully. It was difficult simply because college is hard. Listening to musical elements in mx or Mozart or soundtracks or t swift or literally any song isn't any harder or easier than another. Just different! Different layerings, sections, sounds, timbres, etc. It's very satisfying to be able to pick out sounds and point them out to my sister and maybe explain them a little bit! And I'll check out those shinee react video suggestions, I already know don't call me, so it'll be fun to watch that one!

I think it's really interesting that I've heard mx refer to All About Luv as a "US album" rather than an "English album". It might not mean anything, but more countries than just the US speak English, y'know? So it feels.. intentional? Anyway I will spare you from the extensive (and I mean super extensive) length of thoughts I'm having about their English songs vs Korean and just say a little bit skdjsh

From a musical stand point, Secrets (English song on a Korean album) is objectively just as or more simple than Middle of the Night (English song on the English album) or Sorry I'm Not Sorry (Korean song on a Korean album). Middle of the Night has lovely vocal harmonies and is very active rhythmically and has a lot of different textures. Secrets is just three chords, with a simple melody (a wonderful lovely simple melody), and a decent amount of clear layers with an acoustic feel with drums/guitar/bass/synths/sax/backing vocal ad libs, all of which are pretty active voices. Whereas Sorry I'm Not Sorry is so smooth and has such a chill vibe, with significantly less layers than Secrets (though just as clear) - it's just guitar and vocals at the beginning, and then some very simple drums and bass layer in, and a little bit of keys too (with some sweeet vocal harmonies in the second half that will melt my heart every time!!), but it's all very gentle. And then BEASTMODE (to stay on Fatal Love) has a much heavier feel (ALSO with some sweet harmonies in the opening "ohs" which are so so strong, and won't melt hearts in the same way the harmonies in Sorry I'm Not Sorry do), as well as stylistically different sections with a lot of different musical elements! Sorry I'm Not Sorry is just like.. one style the whole time, which they do beautifully!!! So like, there's already so much variety within albums, and within their entire discography! It makes being a monbebe so... rewarding and satisfying. Like, it feels like there's something here for everyone.

If you got through all that you deserve an award, it's a lot hsksjslsk I could go on and on and on about music, but I'll stop here for now haha. I'm considering doing a series of posts on my blog where I talk about music, but I'm a little nervous to go through with it 😅😅 my sister thinks it'd be awesome, but I'm not super confident to put myself out there like that hehe... we'll see...

Anyway long message!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I haven't told you lately, but talking to you is so so so nice 💖💖 I don't feel any pressure to say things or not say things, I can just.. chat freely! I feel so warm and loved when I read your replies 🥰🥰🥰 thank you for being such a wonderful sweet lovely amazing nice friendly superstar of a person 💖💖💖💖 dkbtho

HI PLS APOLOGIZE I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS LKFDSJ but i'm finally getting to it, thank u for being patent with me <3 i've been getting good sleep ever since finishing those exams and getting back a good grade on that massive assignment yesterday so THANK U for checking in :)

about your education !!!! it just seems so hard ;____; like obviously when u are in a specific field for so long, the terminology makes sense bc you use it all the time (like how now one really knows what i'm talking about when i use medical terms lol) so i guess just from and outside perspective it looks hard !!! plus we were taught how to learn the basics of music reading in high school bc i was in choir for 1 semester and i was sooooo bad at it, it never really clicked for me ;_____; but i really look up to you for dedicating your livelihood for something you love !!! you seem to be very knowledgeable <3

and i know what you mean about them referring to all of their english stuff to 'US' stuff and i can understand how frustrating that might be bc there are many countries that speak english as well, not just the US ,,,,,,,,, to me it might just be bc their whole "english team" is from the US and everyone who works on their stuff is from the US, also i think the record label is from the US ? so maybe they're just so used to referring it that way bc those are the ppl they work with ya know? but i totally understand how isolating that must feel for a lot of other ppl, i can't really talk that much on it since i'm from the US myself lol but i totally get it and i think it's very valid if it irks some ppl !!!!

and ldskfjslkdjf i loved reading all of this <3 and i really agree with everything you say !!! and i'm glad u are able to pick apart the different styles for each song, for example i also think secrets is one of the more "simpler" songs on the album (not as simple as BEBE) but like, it works for me bc the sax has a nice improv at the end, and the song is pretty synth-y(?) which are elements that i like to a song lol ; you should really dig into mx's older discography tho!!!!! and although i love love love mx's new music (i think fatal love is one of their best albums) there is something that can be said about the timelessness of mx's older discography too <3 i know i've said this to you before, but one of my fav mx songs of all time is blue moon (composed by joo hehe) and like, ,,,,,,,,, i just still cannot believe that was on a DEBUT album ?????? the way it's layered and just the lofi vibes sound so sophisticated and honestly ahead of its time, and i'm not sure how much you've dove into mx already, but i would love to hear your thoughts on their previous music too <3 !!!!!!!

also you should def make that series on ur blog!!!!! i think it'll be nice for u to reflect on but also be a resource for ppl too <3 i think it's a great idea !!!!!! also , thank u so much for taking the time out of YOUR busy day to talk to me <3 it's been so lovely just chatting and im SUPER glad u feel comfortable enough to come here and spend some time with me bc it really means a lot <3 thank you !!!! and i hope u have had a great day today okay?? take care <3