#sorry--OUR guys

[badatusernames]

the entire insect squad (kamakiri, mitsubachi & chouchou) & the surviving cursed swords trio (azekura, konayuki & kiguchi)

DAM YOU MAKING ME WORK FOR MY LIFE HERE

hope you like these squares

i'll be putting the rest under a read more but...here we go

KAMAKIRI

was kind of astonished i didnt get a bingo but. god. god. don't look at me. this man and his pals put down 20 minutes of screentime as a down payment to live in my mind for the rest of eternity. once again fallen victim to the Dead Side Character Curse. written so much about this bug man. i am insane about him.

EDIT: REALIZED JUST NOW I SAID NOTHING I LIKE ABOUT HIM + HIS SQUAD IS CANON BUT THAT IS. NOT TRUE THINKING ABOUT IT it's just the overwhelming ratio of non-canon stuff ive crafted to the stuff that initially drew me in oops

MITSUBACHI

re: fans? not like he has much but anyone who doesnt recognize the nuanced balance of Polite and Sweet v. Little Shit v. Absolute Badass Terror bc they see a soft spoken pretty boy can eat rocks

in retrospect might have been better to change 'i would marry them' to 'i would be best fucking friends with this dude' but whatever it would be of convenience and we'd have a nice time.

and of course. why does he fucking look like that.

CHOUCHOU

WIFE GUY SUPREME MY LOVE

honestly i feel i actually COULD carry him like a tiny dog but only bc he'd allow it, and he would because he's the chillest little dude out there.

AZEKURA

DAM ITS OUR GUYSSSS

listen. is a suit of armor that is Technically a Sword absolutely insane and goofy? yes. does he make it work? absolutely.

look if a massive pirate man with a dolphin helmet talks about being fundamentally anti-government, anti-establishment and you don't stan him instantly idk what to tell you

KONAYUKI

thats my FUCKIGN DAUGHTER RIGHT THERE. i’m so glad she ended up okay by the end of the show bc my god she really been through it...

sure would be nice if there was a concocted found family cooked up and ready to be made an amazing dynamic eh? wild. 

KIGUCHI

the elegance...the earnestness...the SKILL....the unexpected cute side....she’s EVERYTHING. really turned what could have been an irritating concept of an episode into something so enjoyable and memorable... (alongside togame constantly losing her mind that’s always good) she deserves the WORLD but you know she wouldn’t take it....so humble....sighs.....

[yellowistheraddest]

LOOK THEY'RE BOTH WORLD FAMOUS BLONDE CHEFS WHO TRAVEL AND HAVE AN AESTHETIC RELATED TO FLAMES, THEY ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

i'm unwell!!! because in stede's eyes, ned low was right!! ned says "he [ed] only likes you because of your bumbling amateur status" and calls stede blackbeard's "pet" just like izzy did in series 1

so stede steps up as a captain, kills the man who harmed his crew, and suddenly, for once in stede's life, he isn't a joke! the gentleman pirate is taken seriously and welcomed into the pirate community!

and what happens less than 24 hours later? ed calls their night together a mistake, AND LEAVES.

yes, obviously the situation is more nuanced, and these old men are once again struggling to communicate, but i 100% understand why stede went a bit of the rails at the end of episode 7. stede's been so focused on trying to help ed, that he's completely ignored his own ongoing identity crisis and trauma, and after the incident at the academy in series 1, this meltdown was long overdue.

[braisedhoney]

fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.

you are wonderful. don't you know that?

bonus: they play sims together :)

[tlotrgifs]

The Ring is altogether evil!

[rapidhighway]

truly a pitiful fate of being recruited for potato harvest by your friend. the reward is great soup

[sincerely-nines]

Every time you smile, I smile and every time you shine, I shine for you 🫶

[robindraconis]

Bilbo: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Thorin: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Bilbo: … Bilbo: You mean ring bearER, right? Thorin: … Bilbo: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

[startistdoodles]

Stop. Just stop.

You're pissing off the entire Kirby community.

Sending me a message saying that you're leaving Tumblr forever and then sending me this 10 hours later is not convincing. I'm not stupid.

Grow up. Get out.

Anyways, just a PSA to my followers that are also Kirby bloggers that this guy may try to get into your good graces by sending you DMs with a sob story saying they're leaving Tumblr or hope that everybody forgot what they did to my pal Ferah and try to get art from other people.

This is not a good person. Block them on sight.

[ulgapodatkowa]

actually if you squint hard enough the show ends on the scene when they're running towards the ship on the beach and frenchie is helping izzy to run. and actually frenchie later on nurses him back to health and they fall in love and on the revenge frenchie is captain and izzy is back to being the first mate. and it's actually peace and love on planet ouizzy.

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

solomon couldn't stand your pact marks.

well, no, that wasn't the right way to put it. he was proud, even jealous of your pacts. they were one of the many admirable things about you! he just hated... looking at them. he knew what other people thought when they saw them.

when one would see those marks on your skin for the first time, they would be able to get a glimpse at your relationship with the brothers. one of trust and respect, gathered from just a glance. meanwhile, one would have to be told about his and your relationship. one look at you couldn't decipher all the time you two have shared together, filled with chatting between classes, practicing magic for hours, and endless love.

at first, solomon tried to mitigate this with his own marks upon your skin. wearing lipstick as he placed a kiss on your neck, a few stray bite marks from your time together at night. but those, while fun, were temporary. and solomon needed something permanent.

why not a ring?

(Hope you don't mind me adding on, anon. Thank you for the delicious meal! Literally so honored to read your beautiful work! 🥹)

Getting the ring was the easy part. Getting you away from the brothers long enough to propose...was not.

The lengths Solomon went through to be able to have a private moment with you might put him in a record book as the three realms' most whipped man. With the mask of his "shady" persona secured, he lets his silver tongue weave him through these seven obstacles, the sin of each dripping from it with only you on his mind.

Swallowing his pride, breathing in greed, spitting out envy...his wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth. A vicious rinse, repeat until he's either buttered them up or grated them down until they finally gave in. But he did it. With the day cleared of any interruptions, his plans were set in motion.

He decides to have a redo of your very first date, flying you up and walking in the sky amongst the stars. It's just the two of you against the ever inky black sky of the Devildom, a place that has become synonymous with your presence. Only this time, there are no surprise gales, no surprise drones -- just the surprise of a velvet heart-shaped box in the inside pocket of his coat.

Solomon brings up fond memories of your time together as you both near the spot he's picked to pop the question. He's filled with a giddy glee that soon you'll have something that binds you to him, something to show the world you're his.

Still, there's a little voice in the back of his head reminding him that you could say no. That perhaps he's not worthy. Does he deserve to have matching rings adorned on his and your fingers forevermore? Does he dare stand by your side as your equal when you are, in fact, so far above him?

He decides it's best not to dwell on such thoughts as this is meant to be a happy occasion, as long as all goes well.

Your feet touch the ground once he lowers you both on top of a cliff that overlooks the Devildom, the moon hanging brightly above. As you take in the magnificent sight, he lowers himself on one knee behind you, waiting with bated breath for you to turn on your own volition.

The moment you do, he knows he'll have to keep this memory stored away with his magic, just staring in awe. The moon is angled just right that it shines right behind your head like a halo. Your eyes are as wide as saucers while your jaw is slacked. With the way you look, he truly wonders if he's in the Celestial Realm.

Nervously, Solomon begins his improvised speech after clearing his throat, "my dearest apprentice, it is with great honor that I'm knelt before you tonight. I have dreamt of this moment more than I'd care to admit, yet I never thought it'd come true. But here I am, willing to give you all of me, if you're willing to give me all of you. You are the sun to my moon, the air in my lungs, the very reason why I believe I've lived so long. I was always meant to find you and work side by side to protect the human realm together. And most importantly, to love you. So, please do this old sorcerer a favor...by marrying me..."

He pulls out the ring box, opening it to offer you the ring within. The blessed box is shaking as he trembles, waiting patiently for your answer.

Happy tears spring from his eyes once you say, "yes." The ring is carefully slipped onto your finger, and a single word comes to Solomon's mind.

Mine.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Anne Bonny and Mary Read in Our Flag Means Death, season 2 episode 4.

[b4kuch1n]

pre-marination doobles. dont ask me questions

[timetravellingkitty]

I'm not listening to a white person on what's racist or insensitive to brown people. read orientalism by edward said before talking to me or my son ever again

[yardsards]

i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage

[maigetheplatypus57]

"i need grumbo to be more insane about each other this season" this and "i need more scarian" that, well i think that perhaps scar and mumbo should be more insane about each other. maybe even have their own robot child or cactus ring together. how about that.