#sounds easy because i've been learning the language for 12 years

[buglaur]

trying to rebuild the reshade preset after the gshade catastrophe 

i miss her

[ahiddenpath]

For the fanfiction ask game: 17, 18, 25, 49, 51!

Citrus! Thank you so much for the asks! If anyone is looking for Digimon Adventure and 02 fanfics, you can read mine on FFN or on AO3 if you are logged in <3

17.) Do you have a writing routine?

A few years ago, I was big on finding a place with a closed door and lighting a candle (partly for vibes, partly to discourage wandering off). But these days, I try to be as informal as possible, so that it's easy to write anytime, anywhere. Sometimes, all you can do is get 15 minutes of copying edits into your draft or jotting down ideas, and those 15 minutes are way better than nothing.

18.) Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

I enjoyed research a lot more about 10 years ago. Search engines are a nightmare these days! I tried to research courtship in Japan and France in the 1930s for Puits d'Amour, and there is. Nothing. Searchable on Google in English for anywhere except the states and the UK. I ended up purchasing some books on the history of courtship that are, sadly, still very US and UK oriented, and just. Making it clear in my fic that the countries portrayed are fictional, largely in part bc I just could not get my hands on the info I needed.

I did some medical research for Seeking Resonance that was really interesting for me at the time, and oddly, came up in my career just last week! I was floored lol!

25.) What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

I seem to be comparatively light on the worldbuilding and outlining. I love writing because flow state feels amazing and I love editing because it's challenging play. Often, I find that what I want to say evolves from the moods and ideas that occur during flow state. It's been interesting, because over the 12 years of publishing as ahiddenpath, I can see reflections of what I was dealing with personally at the time, and how I resolved that strain with the story. Of course, this kind of writing demands more editing later, as it's so freeform. But I enjoy editing, and I believe my love of writing and need to write are strongly connected to the fact that I use writing to deal with things, to understand myself, to challenge myself, and to grow.

49.) What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

How I write and how I think about writing is always changing and evolving, so I suppose my more recent fics? But for the digimon fandom specifically, I usually say After August. Like most of my stories, it's a character-based drama. Specifically, it's about the Adventure Chosen dealing with the loss of their partners and the difficulty of shifting from life as a Chosen in the Digital World to life as kids on earth. Each of them copes in a resoundingly individual way, and they reach out to one another to offer what comfort and support they can.

My works tend to be about people grasping for self-growth and dealing with their demons. They usually aren't plot heavy, although I've been pushing myself to explore plot-based stories recently.

51.) Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

One of my closest friends has a master's in literature, and she obligingly wrote me a list of what is... How do you say this? Expertly??? Considered the best literature available in the English language. I've spent the last several years feasting on that, hoping to learn and grow. So, um. My writing can't compete, lol!!!!!

But lately, I've gotten back into reading purely for fun, rather than growth/challenge/experience. I devoured three modern Greek myth retellings in like a three week span, and I have another waiting at the library for me to pick up! Typical, lmao!

The sudden contrast made me notice that, at the risk of sounding snobbish, books written because the narrative is fun, imaginative, and joyful to behold are a different experience than books that encapsulate some aspect of humanity with painful, exquisite, brutal clarity. It's like, hello reader, would you like enjoyment or an existential crisis???? It's been a privilege and a joy to grow from these uh... Literature degree required reading list books. But man it's fun to eat a novel like it's cake!!! OM NOM NOM MORE PLEASE!

I'm not sure if that answered the question at all, but I guess recently I am trying to explore books that I find delightful rather than personally challenging.

Thanks for the asks friend, they were a great distraction from some difficult stuff <3 I really appreciate it! I'm happy to take more if anyone is interested.

[marlinspirkhall]

hi i saw a post of yours about your dyslexia and how reading and writing isn’t the only symptom. how does dyslexia affect you personally?

[This is a really long post, I didn't expect to write so much when I started!]

Hello! Thanks for the ask!

My main symptoms have always been spoonerising words (I do this weekly and often daily, and it gets worse when I'm talking fast or getting excited), and I didn't always notice when I was doing it as a kid (when I was 12 I was trying to infodump about the poultry industry to a friend and kept saying 'leg ayers' instead of 'egg layers' until she pointed out that I'd said Leg Ayers the past 6 times), though I'm generally better at picking up on it now. Now that I know I have dyslexia I know that's probably why I had such a hard time with music theory and maths as a kid.

I'm a musician, and I've been learning how to read sheet music since I was 8. I practised it on a daily basis for about 5+ years, but I still can't read sheet music past a beginner's level. Every time I went to read sheet music at A-Level, my music teacher assumed I was just beginning to learn it, because I would write the individual note names beside each note head.

When I sat my music theory exam I got 0% in the section on "Intervals" because I read everything backwards, and inverted (sigh) all the answers. (You take the first note, you take the second note, the space between them is the "interval". Should be really fucking easy, but I didn't get a single question right out of the 12. And pretty much the only way to do that is to know what you're doing and give the opposite answer. I tried to second-guess myself and give the opposite of the opposite answer, but that doesn't work either. It's sort of like the mental equivalent of trying to catch a bar of soap when it's already wet. You can work out the trajectory of it in your mind, but every time you hold your hands out to grasp it, it bounces off, slips through the sink, and falls straight into the open toilet bowl. And then proceeding to open another 11 bars of soap and have the whole thing happen again another 11 times. And now your toilet is full of soap, your hands are still dirty, and you're thoroughly upset.)

At this point it's easier to tell people that I never bothered learning to read sheet music than it is trying to explain why I can't read it. In a pinch I can maybe work out a starting note and the chords to accompany myself, but in the era of recorded music and notation software, I'm fortunate that I can play everything by ear if I need to, so it's more of a beur... Oh fuck hang on Bureaucratic (?) problem than anything else.

I've always played instruments by ear because I have a hard time remembering which letters are next to each other in a limited alphabet (When reciting A-Z I will get them right, but with a piano octave I forget that G comes before A and frequently write "F-A-B-G"). Even though I know it's wrong, I can't grasp it at all, in the same way that you might hear some dyslexic people getting left and right confused, I end up forgetting which way is "up". So even when I remember that an piano scale or music notes go "F-G-A-B-C-D", I'll see an F on the scale, play an F on the piano, see that the next note is a semitone up, and then play a note below it no matter how often I say 'up, up!' in my head.

I have some difficulty in understanding the relationship between written and spoken language, which is why spelling is such a huge red flag for dyslexia, though it's not the only tell. Past the age of 13 my spelling has been pretty good, but I still have difficulty intuiting unfamiliar spellings. I couldn't do word searches to save my life in primary (elementary) school and would regularly spell "people" as "poeple", because I remembered which letters were in the word "people", but not which order they went in, and didn't necessarily understand that "peo" wouldn't make the same sounds as "poe".

On the flip side, I'm okay at reading messy handwriting and recognising/picking up symbols and patterns. I might just draw the wrong conclusion or miss out on the wider ways it can be applied (i.e, I can still use sheet music to remind me of the rhythm of a piece, but when it comes to 'sight reading' I can only sight read drum music).

[enderdeservesbetter]

Hi, it's me. Again to talk about Taylor Swift, this time of TTPD: The Anthology.

I'm going to be honest, honestly the first part was mainly emotionally draining. When I finished "Clara Bow" I felt like I was going to cry with all my might, even though I loved it. Over time, I grew fond of and understood many of the songs and I mean I didn't understand them until later.

Psychologically, it opened many wounds that I thought had closed. And can I say... a week and a half after the album came out I started therapy! (Perfect timing). And something tells me, this part of the album is going to be more painful. That's why I've been kicking it (as well as listening to Red, evermore and Speak Now).

OK, LET'S START. Again, no expectations and I have heard VERY little of some songs and... I am not speaking English and sometimes I forget that I am speaking the language.

(Dividers by: @saradika-graphics and I think I took the photo from Taylor Swift's official website, if not, sorry, but I don't remember

SONG LIST:

The Black Dog 4.5/5

+ 2 OH MY GOD THE MUSIC!! // +1.5 old habits die SCREEEEEEAMEENG --- EVEN IF I DIE SCREEEEAMEENG... That's what I have to say about the lyrics //+1 her voice... :(

It can't be, I love this song and it's the first time I've heard it. I listen to the music from yt, from the lyric videos. And I don't read them to concentrate fully on the music. And it confuses me because I am not a native English speaker, but I can understand their emotions, of wanting to go back but it is impossible and wanting to go back because it is what I knew, and and...

Want to cry at the first song, we're going VERY GOOD /SARCASTIC

Imgonnagetyouback 4.5/5

+2 The rhythm, and the strange synth pop... it's a strange perfect harmony // +1.5 For some reason it made me blush a lot and smile and I didn't even start to read the lyrics, a flirtatious vibe instantly hit me. // I hear the whispers in your eyes → whispered sights (?. //+1 She sounds great, it's a very Midnights song but without covering up and washing her voice so much, and I love it!

I don't understand much of the history of this song but obviously, I don't want to mess with it as much as the original TTPD. God, I'm loving this album so far even MORE than the original.

The Albatross FIRST 5/5

+2 HOW I LOVE BACKGROUND MUSIC, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. Fully folklore vibes // +1 I can't fully understand without reading the lyrics in the meantime... The lyrics seem easy to understand and learn. // +2 Her voice seems angry but disappointed, like telling a child that it's okay, everything is going to be okay.

I was left with my mouth open, because I would love to have heard this in 6th grade, in 1st year, in 5th year...

And I'm not going to go over all my traumas, but I always had very sensitive skin and it cut very easily... and they definitely talked about it and everyone believed that it was contagious (it was just an allergy to earth), and in my church (I went until I was 12 and I don't plan to return) they treated me like a plague because of my situation, they treated me like a liar, they treated me as less than, they excluded me from everyone, especially the parents told them that it was a bad omen...

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus 3.5/5

+1.5 WHO PRODUCED THIS MUSIC? HE NEEDS A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD AND A HUG THAT REACHES HIS SOUL, SOMEONE THANK HIM! // + My god, the lyrics are so... it's almost indecipherable, but it doesn't sound bad. But I can decipher that it's a separation, that it's the kind of love that didn't exactly end bad, but that's it. //+0.5 It sounds like she had recorded loml before.

I can say, this is the song that I understood the least so far, but hey, at some point, if I read analysis, I will.

How Did It End? 4/5

+1.5 I love the background music, they have done an incredible job on this entire part of the album :( // +1.5 I still don't understand all of the lyrics :( but... she- i- gonna cry :D // ...1 She's forcing the voice from inside to come out, and yet it sounds beautiful, I hate that part of me

So High School 4.5/5

+2 The music is so similar to the teen bands from the 2000s movies, I love it! // +1.5 I'm not a fan of the sporty boy, but god, this song is so beautiful // +1 Taylor's voice feels so happy and the range throughout the song is a chef's kiss!

I didn't think I would like it SO MUCH! It's a beautiful song, full of a calm but active energy, almost cozy. They keep doing a great job in this part of the album!

I Hate It Here 5/5

+2 the folklore vibes, omg i LOVE it! 🤍 // +1.5 As a person who spends 80% of her day in his mind... I really love the lyric // +1.5 She sings it so softly that I want to cry.

I love this song, my dragons and knight stories love this song. Seriously, it's strange to find a song that talks JUST about what you always wanted to tell your mother.

thanK you alMee

+2 OMG The background music is the best part of this album! // +1.5 The lyrics are simple in image and short, but detailed and rich in emotion. //+1 her voice sounds very good in this song 🩷

I know that feeling but I have no legacy to be proud of and it has definitely been difficult to get to this point.

I Look in People's Windows

+1.5 again... the music is beautiful <3 // +1.5 No, this is not about my relationship (no, I don't look for him on every street around us in my neighborhood looking for his figure) // +1 It sounds so good for such a short song :(

The Prophecy 5/5

+1.5 The instrumental is... again, this part of the album and the last part of TTPD is beautiful // +2 PLEASE I'VE. ON MY. KNEES. I feel like he is talking about those things that I leave for later because I am very busy taking care of my family. // +1.5 Her voice sounds so sad and terrified, desperate. She carries the tone of the song so well that it's scary :(

Again, this song has moved things that I didn't know still existed, and I already knew because I had read some of the lyrics or parts of them in some TTPD's analysis.

Cassandra 4/5

+1.5 the instrumental, that's all i'm gonna say // +1.5 I love that it tells a concise story in the same song, but it feels messy, I can't say I don't like it // +1 again, her voice carries so well the tone of the song.

What a strange and accurate decision to put THIS song after The Prophecy. When you know you're telling the truth but no one believes you because the other person is untouchable, it's... a complete feeling that deserves an entire book and an entire year of therapy.

Peter 3.5/5

+1.5 How can an instrumental sound so like a dream and a nightmare at the same time? // +1 Can I cry? It's like seven (my favorite song) never happened :( // Every time it is more difficult to get to the other end of the album, it is so soft and at the same time so deep and painful

The Bolter 4/5

+1.5 for the instrumental // +1.5 I don't understand why I would dance to this, but I would, it's a similar song to I Can Do It With A Broken Heart // +1 her voice 🩷

The Manuscript 4.5/5

Robin 3/5

I'm going to be completely honest, I don't understand this song in particular, I'm not saying it's bad but I don't know HOW to watch it, if someone wants to explain it to me that would be great.

+1.5 sweet instrumental // +1.5 While listening to the lyrics, I remembered that man who used ALL the "older man trying to get with a younger girl" tricks that i dated.

Definitely a beautiful song to close a cycle, to say goodbye to what hurt for years, a small part let go because it no longer belongs to you.

Conclusion: it has definitely moved me and I hope that, for example, in a few years it will not do so again. It's such a beautiful and deep album. It was painful to hear, but necessary.

4.5/5

[dayeongi]

Hey there,

I'd love to tag you for these questions for writers:

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

10. How do you decide what to write?

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

22. Who is your favorite character in [Setting Sun] and why?

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [Setting Sun]? Explain your choices if you want!

51. If you write in English as a second language, what do you find easier to write in English, and what is harder than in your first language?

Thanks for writing 'Setting Sun', I love it and I'm so curious how this story will unfold!

Hihi nina! (Can I call you nina?)

2.-

Lolololol here it is!!

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Angst

Regency Romance (next one is regency too so putting them both here)

Character Death

Friends to Lovers

lmao makes sense!!

10.-

I have a LOT of ideas!! I just let them stew for a while in my brain until one feels alive enough in my mind! So it starts with "What if" and I only start working on it if it's giving me colors, sounds, and shapes! I need the full color vision!

17.-

So this is a very guilty want of mine because hinata is my third favorite character of Naruto, but I've been looking forever for a naruhina fic set during the pain arc or war arc where Hinata is seriously injured/dies, and Naruto has to process his feelings about it without Hinata having to do any more work. Either that, or I want a re-write of Naruto that handles the romance better and is more queer, please, we want diversity in this HOUSE, not just pair the spares

22.-

So right now my favorite character in Setting Sun is obviously Temari, but my favorite character to write right now is actually Kankurō! I really enjoy writing his dealing with political intrigue and the dichotomy of how he has to act vs how he really feels, and how easy yet tiring it is for him to continously put up the act. I also feel sorry that he's dealing with everything on his own, and he's going on this self sacrificing quest to keep his siblings safe even though they, particularly Gaara, do not understand why he would want to do it, and his (misplaced) guilt about the situation with Gaara, coming to learn about it, and that without meaning to, Kankurō’s been the cause for some of the things that have happened. (Not because of him, but just because he's the first born son)

I just have a lot of feelings about it ok?????????

23.-

I really want to try writing fantasy!! So far I've mainly done Canon and semi or striaght up Modern AU!

29.-

I actually have a playlist I use when writing!!

It has a LOT of songs but hopefully at the end I will have a more refined playlist!

Here are some of my favorite ones from the playlist!

I mean... come on... if this one isn't them I don't know what is!!

Come on... come ON...

51.-

It has actually been probably a decade since I tried to write anything in Spanish besides poetry! The truth is that after nearly 12 years of studying, reading, working and speaking English, my vocabulary in Spanish is very basic, and my grammar has been suffering :( also my original fixation for writing in English is because I purposefully wanted to make my writing inaccessible to my father, who could only say "hi how are you" in English, so it find it hard to write and being vulnerable in Spanish. It all feels like too much you see. In English, I can manage my feelings and expression better

I'm so so happy you're enjoying Setting Sun!!!!!!!!!! I've been working on chapter 8, and I think it's going to be a very big chapter all in all! From now on, it feels like every chapter will be a big one, in terms of plot points, so I'm nervous! If all goes well, Setting Sun will be 15 chapters, and then I'll start working on planning Ultraviolet and Dawn, as well as The Road Back Home!

From this ask game!

[mycptsdstory]

I just remembered something really disturbing, when I was little I used stutter a lot because my mum didn't want people to hear me have a Russian accent. It was then I got fausly accused for having selective mutism and autism.

(Okay so basically I got adopted by my Russian dad when I was 7 years old but it wasn't yet confirmed until I was 16 years old because he was still doing the missions for the army. So when I wasn't with him, I was with my biological cunt of a mother. No, my adopted dad and my mother hated each other. No they were never together, no they never had sex and no they were never an item. My adopted dad found me when I was starved, neglected, beaten, raped and abused by my mother. Everytime he wasn't doing a mission, I stayed with him. It wasn't until I was 13 I stayed with him more and when I was 15 years old it got to nearly full time. My adopted dad needed a job where when can look after me and not to go in secret missions for the army. When my dad got murded when I was 16 years old and yes, I'm the one who heard the shotgun and I'm the one who found his body. I thought the adoption papers never went through, but they did. That's why my name hasn't changed because of my fucking mother).

So when I stayed with my mum during when I was 7-13 years old, she forced me not to talk and forced me to have a British accent. It was that bad, my accent sounded fake. (Not really my fault, it's my cunt of a mother).

My mum made up stories that I was stuttering because I had selective mutism (found out years later, I never had selective mutism). So when I tried to talk it was this constant stutter. After my dad got murdered the stutter got bad again and she got me a vocal coach to teach me how to talk in a British accent. Now doing therapy, my true accent is coming out more and more. Like I said, when you speak in a different language, when you learn English you learn the American accent not the british one (no idea why, it's just that way).

So when my stutter was finally gone, my mother boasted how much she was a good mum for getting rid of my stutter. Like she told everyone that she found the cure and everyone should bow down to her 🙄

But that's not really the case. Again, lies.

During when I was 12-14 years old she told everyone that I had autism and the stuttering is apart of selective mutism and autism. I even got a statement saying I have selective mutism and autism. That I can't handle myself, I'm a danger to myself and I can't look after myself. But again, that's not really the case. Complete lies.

(Also to add, my mother told everyone that my adopred dad never existed and I was making it all up. That's when people thought I had schizophrenia because I would talk about my adopted dad, but then my mother got violently angry that I mentioned him. That's why I think she got someone to kill him. So from 7 to 23 years old and wvsb now, she told so many people he didn't exist and if I mentioned him, she would take away my phone, internet, food, the toilet so I had to pee and shit in a bucket and even take my drawing stuff. She was so angry that I mentioned him, she would punch me, pull my hair out and violently attack me. Even one time tried sexually assaulted me with a broom. I hit her with it, so hard she had to go to hospital. She rarely attacked me but I'm physically stronger than her, so it was easy to fight off when she tried. It was just bad. So everyone believed her, but never me. My mother brainwashed her colleeges, friends and family friends to make everyone say my adopted dad never existed. After the murder, she burned all if his pictures, toys and letters. She forgot to burn my teddies because I said she bought them. I still have them and its the only thing I have of my adopted dad left. But I can't forgive my mother and the crap she's done).

Firstly, selective mutism is an extreme anxiety disorder. It doesn't relate too autism and even aspergers. It also doesn't relate to abuse. It's an anxiety fear disorder.

Secondly, autism is a gene that's been passed down by parents and even family. None of my family has got autism or aspergers. Again, lies.

So everyone treated me like I was dumb and I didn't know any better. I even got bullied because I was afraid to talk, that if I talked normally, I would get beaten up. Either way, stuttering or talking, I got bullied. Like it was somehow my fault I had selective mutism. But again, complete lies.

After when I left everything, I started to think that I didn't have selective mutism or autism. It was PTSD all along, but not just PTSD I've got CPTSD. Which basically means its chronic. I had CPTSD since I was a child and only nowadays professionals are starting to realise that children can get serve mental disorders. I never had autism or selective mutism, my mother lied to the benefits, to my schools so she can keep me forever and get money for benefits. Now I've left, my mother has no entitlement for my money and power over me.

I did say in my previous post that selective mutism has the same characteristics as CPTSD and even autism. That's why so many children get diagnosed wrong. It's pretty fucked up.

I just can't get over how my mother manipulated and brainwashed so many people thinking I couldn't do shit on my own. Fuck them! They can die if they still think I'm dumb. I hate them and I cant forgive them.

Sorry for the long post. This is just a bad day and me writing down my memories, is actually helping my memory. Before I couldn't remember, now I can.

[vicholas]

how did you learn english? did u learn in school or teach urself? i have been trying to learn spanish on my own for like 3 yrs now but even tho my vocab and basic convo is ok its really hard for me to form sentences and shit and i feel like a stupid american lmfao 😭😭😭

I began learning at school when I was 12...I'm 22 now, that was 10 years ago, damn. But it wasnt until I was 13 or 14 that I began to REALLY learn English because that's when I joined Deviantart and since most the userbase spoke English, I tried my best to try to speak English to people in there, and ever since then I've been frequenting sites in English. I consider that to be what truly made me learn English, more than school. Getting the hang of it from interacting with people online made me try to watch and read media in English, and that has also helped me learn.

That said, since this is how I've been learning and I speak exclusively Spanish IRL, I can write and read in English well, but my pronunciation is pretty bad. I think what I hate the most about English is its orthography system, it's really horrible to learn it since there's no coherency with each letter and sound, so it's really unhelpful if you want to learn.

I think English is easy to learn, not because the language by itself is easy (again, fuck English orthography, seriously), but because its status as the current dominant language in the world makes resources very available. Finding books and movies in English is pretty easy practically anywhere in the world.

So don't feel bad, you're not stupid at all! I've been learning English for 10 years, that's not short time, this is a long process. I actually think it's really hard to learn a language exclusively through classes. I've tried to learn other languages aside of English but it's harder because resources are less accesible than harder than with English.

I recommend you to keep trying and not feel bad about struggling, it's okay and normal. Try to use what you know already and read books in Spanish or get a hand of just about anything you can get, and try to find some way to talk to someone, irl or online, it's really the best way to practice. A piece of advice I've heard if you have no one to talk to in the language you wanna learn, is to keep a diary in the language you wanna learn. It requires motivation but it's a creative way to get more used to think in your target language.

I hope this helps!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I've been to Wildwood. The Jersey Shore is crazy in general but wildwood is next level. The board walk has like 200 of the same t-shirt store, feels like you're walking through the fires of hell, and is jam packed with kids on camp trips. I've only ever done the board walk there but I've seen the walk you have to take to get out to the beach, it's insane. I can only imagine what it's like with family. How old are your cousins and what are they like?

My family has literally been coming to Wildwood every year since, like, at LEAST the 1930’s, I’m not sure on anyone earlier than that, and my family is insane, so let’s dive into this.

The Main Characters In My Life On Vacation Are:

-My Grandmother, who was a child dancer star (she tapped on the radio!) who’s been coming down here her whole life- her parents used to come down the same day there would be a talent show, enter her in it, and then use her first prize reward for the money they’d spend throughout the week. Has been in the old person stage of “I’m an elder, who cares what I say or do” for the past 15 years. Has eight living kids and Too Many Descendants. Loud and refuses to admit she can’t walk half the time.

- My Mother, who gets confused very easily, overshares and breaks off into meaningless tangents in the middle of stories, snores like a literal demon, always wants to be asleep, keeps pushing for family activities, doesn’t realize all the kids think she’s lame.

- Me, who is always Extra Depressed in the summer months, and is the Sole Person In This Family My Age- everyone just stopped having babies for a few years when my mother decided to have me (Everyone is either over 25 or under 16). Because of this I’m usually confined to my room, unable to really do anything on the boardwalk because going on rides alone is depressing and my mother has heart problems. Just wants to read and write, but the children keep Screaming.

- My Aunt and Her Husband- A Very Loud Couple, she likes to control everything and he’s the only one who ever bothers to yell back at her. They always fight exactly once, every year, and every year somehow I always end up being the only other person in the apartment while its happening, so I just have to sit in awkward silence until my aunt finally huffs out “I can’t believe you’re doing this in front of my goddaughter!” and storms out to go find her kids. They make a lot of jokes and think their children are very dramatic.

- Jenna, the 14 year old cousin. Very dramatic. Mastered the art of the eye roll at a young age. Has literally looked like a mini model since she was born. Can’t be bothered to deal with anyone. We usually have one (1) tiny girl-bonding moment each vacation and then she promptly acts like she doesn’t care even though it’s clear she does. Athletic and artistic and musically/theatrically gifted. Very sarcastic. Always doing cartwheels.

- Seanie, the 12 year old cousin. Middle child syndrome. Tries to hard to be funny for attention. VERY dramatic. Will cry at the drop of a dime (I’m typing this and I literally just heard him burst into tears in the other room??). Super adorable, you can tell he’s gonna be one of those high school boys that pulls Ridiculous Shit but after one charming smile the teachers can’t bring themselves to stay mad. Very loud. Currently addicted to video game youtubers.

-Zack, the 7 year old cousin. Adorable. Loud. Lowkey a prodigy child but they can’t afford to get him into Special Schools so he’s always bored in class. Baby Of The Family syndrome. Currently in an aggressive pokemon phase. Doesn’t understand he’s literally a child, he acts like an old man half the time.

We’re all shoved into a small apartment for a week, but there are Others:

- Kathy, Grandmom’s second oldest. Literally the most bland person I have ever encountered on this planet. Very, very into trying to plan ‘fun’ family events. Thinks any conversation is a riveting conversation.

- Kathy’s husband, who is just a plain old guy who’s lowkey a hoarder and jokes around a lot, but every time someone mentions his past or his family it gets more and more confusing??? He may have a brother who was in the CIA??? He may have been homeless or he may have lived with his sister???? He may have killed a man???? I literally know nothing concrete about this man other than he’s apparently been with my aunt since they were teens but I. D. K. Every new piece of information I receive just scatters the puzzle more.

- Their eldest daughter and her husband spend most of the summer down here but always make sure to match up the schedule for when we come down. Loud, energetic couple. I have no idea what either of them do for work? They might currently be unemployed? Really into alcohol. At some point in the week every year, everyone in my apartment bonds together to diss them after we get back from the beach. Like, they’ll do something or another EVERY YEAR that sets EVERYONE off.

- The 16 year old. Tries to show everyone memes on his phone. Never really talks to people. Does NOT get along with his parents because he’s kinda an outlier in the family. I feel like he might be a stoner, but if I find out he’s got a hidden gun collection, I wouldn’t be surprised? That probably sounds awful but he’s a good kid I promise.

- Danny, 12. Adorable. Quiet. Mini golden boy. Makes jokes when you aren’t expecting them. Very resigned to the fact he has to hug me and my mother when he sees us.

- Kathy and Mystery Man’s youngest daughter, a librarian, and her stand up comedian husband, and now their three month old who is ADORABLE and everyone was surprised to learn they hadn’t named her Hermione.

Other recurring family members are prone to popping up throughout the vacation- Aunt Margie, Grandmom’s sister-in-law, who, I love her, but remember that chocolate episode of spongebob with the old woman that was essentially a stick in a wheelchair and had a chain smoker voice??? Put that in the tiniest bikini you can imagine and add a wheezing laugh and you got her. Her daughter who I could not recognize on a street if I tried. Her son Michael, who is best friends with my mom and apparently Not Gay (no one’s really convinced). A step-cousin sometimes pops by, she’s very breezy and easy-going and you can’t distinguish her Actual Talking Voice with her Talking To Little Kids Voice.

Anyway, Wildwood itself is just. Goddamn ridiculous.

The aesthetic of this place is somewhere between the 1950’s, a trailer park, and the kind of developed land you get when a moustache-twirling man wants to convince all the old people he can to retire to his buildings. Some buildings are harsh metal, and others are bright pastels, but the only thing joining them together is the fact that it looks like no one has cleaned anything here in years. EVERYTHING, even the knew stuff, looks worn and faded. Even like…the AIR is faded. It’s not just the sun being too bright, everything you’re looking at looks like it’s an old photograph. If you stay too long, you might start to fade into the landscape yourself.

I have never once seen an animal that wasn’t a seagull here. Most towns, islands, places, whatever- you usually have at least squirrels running around, maybe some variations of birds, just. ANYTHING. But it’s all seagulls all the time. You cannot exist in a spot for longer than a few moments without one of them dive bombing you. They are not mere birds. They are feathered demons that Hath No Fear Of The Foolish Mortals Of Mankind.

The song “Wildwood Days” plays on the Boardwalk every half hour. It is the only way to appease the spirits. It’s the modern, New Jersey-ian version of painting lamb blood over your door frame. As much as I’ve grown to hate the song, to twitch and clench my fist at each note, I deeply fear for the day the song doesn’t play on time and the curse is unleashed. I have a deep, sinking feeling that this moment will come within my life time.

If You Don’t Stop To Watch The Fireworks, Your Bones Shall Never Be Found.

You hear the ongoing chant of “Watch the Tram Car, Please!”, and look around, but there isn’t a Tram Car coming. The order grows louder and louder. You realize you aren’t even on the Boardwalk any more. The sound is right behind you, but you can’t find the source. “Watch the Tram Car, Please!” you realize, to your horror, the sound is now coming from inside you. You never find your true voice again.

Despite The Fact That This Place Is A Mosh Pit Of Families From All Over The World, If You Can’t Immediately Place My Accent Or Figure Out What Language I’m Speaking, I Have Legal Grounds To Kill You.

The sand simply isn’t normal. It’s ADVANCED sand. It doesn’t make sense. It never truly washes off. The more you scrub, the more appears.

Ancient gods from multiple pantheons like to chill out on the beach, have a few beers. You never know for sure who is who, but you Know they aren’t the same as you, and you know they know more about you than you’re comfortable with. For your own sake, NEVER ask them to turn their music down.

There is always at least one plane flying over with a sign reading “Jen, will you marry Sean?”. It’s been decades. Will Jen ever say yes?

Elevators Are For The Weak And We Use Them To Judge Who To Do Away With First.

The ocean goes back and forth between green and grey, and you know the color makes a significant difference but you can never quite put your finger on what.

Fish Are Fake.

All the stores sell everything you want, but nothing you need.

King Kong Is Our Fierce Protector, Loving Hero, And Just Enforcer

All the police officers and firemen and general ‘in charge’ jobs seemed to be run completely by 18 years olds

No one truly knows who pulls the shots when it comes to deciding the Boardwalks style each year. Every store sells the same Designated Style, and each year they make less and less sense. You buy a specialized hoodie anyway, and you have no idea why.

I could keep going on with that list, but the point is, Wildwood is a Strange Place and I have a Ridiculous Family, so every year is always a bit of an experience.

Like, no one in my family really has anything in common other than everyone’s always loud and everyone’s always right and everyone is always ready to loudly fight over the fact that they’re definitely right, but like. Imagine crawling through some Hillbilly Murder Showers in the garage of a condo, using all of your force to pry open a suspiciously heavy and questionably mechanized door, walking under the boardwalk and trekking over sand dunes just to find a bunch of screaming yet physically relaxed people under the flag for Montserrat. Some guy’s cracking stand up jokes while no less than three children are fighting each other, your mother is promising for the 14th year in a row that you’re gonna go on a whale watching trip and everyone knows she’s lying, some woman’s trying to hold a conversation about buying applesauce in bulk while her husband and children get drunk, there’s a skinny pale guy with horrible sunburn blasting songs from N.W.A., a girl’s cartwheeling around the site to the point you think she doesn’t know how to move any other way, a boy’s quietly drinking pickle juice, there’s a 7 year old literally trapped in a giant hole that he dug, your mother is snoring loud enough to alarm the people around you, and just when you’re starting to get a little comfortable about the feathered demons and start to relax, a tide comes in so strongly your chair literally starts getting pulled out to sea with you in in. It’s average. It's fading into the landscape with the rest of the place.

[clothestop]

Hi, I'm not sure if this will be weird to ask but i've read that you have a math degree and knows how to code so i hope you can give me some advice regarding my career choice. If that's okay. Tbh i'm still not sure if i should take up computer science or pure mathematics. Math is my favorite subject in school and the more i study college-level theoretical math, the more i realize that i would want to do this professionally.

But i also considered computer science because i’m weighing the employability of both majors and i know that i could get a more stable job with comp sci. I’m so confused i’m sorry if my ask doesn’t make much sense but i have so many questions. May i ask what age did you start coding? And like my dilemma, i’m wondering why you went with pure mathematics and didn’t take up computer science. What put you off? Also, how did you start coding/ what made you start learning how to code? Did you take up comp sci classes? I’m a 17 yr old girl heading to university next fall but i just started learning how to code last year so i feel a bit left out. I’m really enjoying it so far but thinking of a possible career with it, i’m also scared as a woc in that kind of field. This may sound silly but like what the tumblr saying goes: i don’t want to be a sell out while i work for something i love. Lastly, i know that even if i’m still a beginner and there are a lot more things that i could learn in university. But in the meantime to prepare for that, what advice can you give to someone like me who is a beginner (words of encouragement, pros and cons, skills to develop etc etc)? Btw i’ve read that you lived in Southeast asian countries and i’m from SE asia currently living in the US so i relate to what i’ve been reading in your blog. Thank you for reading and sorry for

Hello there! No worries, I didn’t think that your ask is weird. And ofc, I’m more than glad to give you my advice :)

Well, I started with basic coding at around 12 or 11, eventually studied it extensively and moved to more complicated programming languages when I was 15 or 16—but I was already in uni during that time (uhm, yes I was younger than most of my peers). I play games a lot, and when I was younger, I dreamt of developing my own video game or website. And as a kid, you wouldn’t be surprised that I even thought of using my knowledge of coding with making cool stuffs™ like robots haha. To be honest, I wasn’t “put off” of taking up Computer Science; it’s just that my head had always been gravitating towards Pure Mathematics ever since. However, I admit that I did fancy taking up that degree because I was opting for another major that would *complement* my Pure Mathematics track, since my mum initially wanted me to have a degree that is “lucrative” to her standards. Basically, even if I didn’t end up pursuing Computer Science, we met at a compromise with me double majoring in Pure Mathematics and an applied maths major which relies on heavy programming as well. Despite being good at maths in school, programming was unarguably one of the most difficult things that I’ve studied. Not to mention that at the beginning, I was self-taught. After uni, I became more serious with my self-study, and even took up few short courses in Computer Sciences just because I’m really interested with it. Never considered to pursue it professionally, though.

If you look at the macro statistics of how students perform in different subjects, Singapore, Hong Kong, South Korea, Taiwan, Japan and China (particularly Shanghai) has always ranked really high in maths and sciences. Yet, until recently, most of the technological breakthroughs are happening in the West.. Or perhaps, most technological advancements that happened in Asia (mind you, not only in East Asian and Southeast Asian countries) weren’t relatively discussed and/or recognized in a global scale during the past few years. Furthermore, living in Caucasian-dominated countries, I know that minorities would always have to go through the eye of a needle to have our voices heard and our efforts recognized and properly credited; otherwise the achievements we had produced would never see the light of day, or worse, People in the Position of Power™ would take credit for what we worked hard for. (Disclaimer: I don’t live in the US)

Additionally, two years ago, reports disclosed by large tech companies like Google and Facebook show that females make up less than 20% of technical employees. Unfortunately this figure drops to single digits for the larger tech community. But you shouldn’t be fazed with these facts. Yes, this is a sad reality but we can do something to change the system. At present, females working in most industries (not just in tech companies. Believe me *sighs*) should work twice as hard as a man to get to the same place, and it was made into a norm that we should just be prepared to do that. Thus, at least eventually in the tech sector, the more girls who learn how to code, the less unequal it would get. If you think about it, apps and websites like Instagram and Facebook (and uh well, Tumblr) have a wide female user base. And I truly believe that women need to be part of the voice in creating this technology to serve the users more effectively.

Yes I’m Southeast Asian as well currently living in a Caucasian-dominated country (again, not the US). But I lived in different Asian countries, so I also understand how tech startups in these regions lament the lack of local talent. Universities produce graduates who are well-versed in computer science, yet the latter go after paths that only require an understanding of programming languages suited for banking and finance. Conversely, startups use something much different and more modern—something that tech companies want to see more of. Moreover, a few years ago, tech giants like Microsoft, Facebook, and SAP appealed to the European Union education ministers to tackle skills gap in information and communications technology, saying that an estimated 900,000 jobs in Europe would be left unfilled by 2020 if not addressed. The UK has since implemented computing into the national curriculum. Again, Tumblr Politics™ could make an asinine analogy of this to Destroy Capitalism™, but the reality dictates that we need this to achieve growth in the foreseeable future. (Another disclaimer: I’m very much against classism and capitalism, but I can be level-headed as well to understand the global economic and political atmosphere that we live in. Less whining, more tangible actions to abolish these systems.)

Correct me if I’m wrong (this could easily be googled), but from what I’ve read, the average salary for a good fresh graduate programmer in the Silicon Valley is around 100,000 USD. So you can verify that this is indeed an in-demand job. But I definitely agree with your outlook as well. I quit my last job despite the high pay, advantageous position, connections and opportunities in the corporate ladder™ because I lost my passion and felt like I no longer learn something of value from it. I felt like I was just a small cog of a devious capitalistic machine, operating at an auto-pilot, and can never make an actual difference to society (contrary, I felt like I was actually working against it D:). BUT! Please. Please. Please. Never fully absorb everything you read in this hellsite as a clear reflection of how the world works. Always take everything you read with a grain of salt, because despite of the positive things we could see and the amazing people we could meet here, Tumblr is a very, very problematique™ place to take inspiration from. Of course I’m not generalizing, but sadly, some people here (despite their charisma and very persuasive convictions) proclaim revolutionary™ ideologies that only promote hateful agendas. Thus, even though I would always believe that money should never supersede passion, I also understand that the system is working against us and that it wouldn’t be as easy as we imagine it to be. So, I always seek to find balance in every decision that I make. It would also help to have a concrete plan of how you would like to see yourself in a few years (I know it sounds cliché, but I promise it’ll help), and to choose to work for a company that you know would create progressive measures to aid society as a whole, and would promote sustainable growth for the planet and the human race. Sorry if that sounds so cheesy and pretentious, but I mean it. I would like to think that that wouldn’t make us corporate sellouts™, rather, we are dreamers trying to survive and thrive in this very demanding society. [Hmm. To be honest I think corporate sellouts are the ones who exploit the society, and trample over others just to achieve their goals. Soulless creatures, I tellss ya. But yeah, maybe tumblr SJW vocabulary made another revolutionary™ breakthrough.]

That said, I know that you are already in the right track. And even though you seem to be in a dilemma, I could see that you’re geared towards computer science already :) Both maths and programming are your passions, and I’m glad that you discovered that at an early age. Don’t be afraid to take the leap. And if later on you realize that perhaps the degree you pursued wasn’t where your heart is, I can only assure you that you are not the first and last person who would feel this way—and that’s perfectly okay. Lots of people end up in jobs that are radically different from what they took up in uni, and they excel and feel really satisfied in those fields. And there are others who eventually go back to school to fulfill the academic approach that they had missed. Whatever happens, don’t be afraid to troubleshoot and start again. Don’t think that you had a late start on coding. I’m in my late 20s and I know that I still have a lot more to learn—not just with programming—and that really excites me. Remember, formal education isn’t the only place where we could learn and harness our skills. We’re so lucky to have lived in this digital age where everything could be presented to us with just a click or a tap of a button, so we should take advantage of that.

My last advice to you is to master BOTH the technical and creative skills needed in this science, both of which are essential to be a good programmer—bridging the technical side of coding with the creativity to solve problems. I know I still have a long way to go, but somehow, I think I could consider myself as someone who already has a good foundation and an in-depth knowledge of programming. This skill is something that does not only aid me in my career, but it also helps me with problem solving and thinking about issues structurally. With coding, I can solve problems and think of multiple solutions for the same problem, and can see the pros and cons for each solution. Further, I’m able to challenge my own assumptions in all of these solutions. However, like I’ve said, I don’t think that programming is something that I could do professionally. Despite excelling in the technical side of it, I believe that in this industry, the creative ability of a programmer is the one that is highly sought after. I totally concur that one should never underestimate how HARD programming is, and I guess that’s the beauty and challenge of this discipline. I know that I have the dedication and patience for this skill, but even if I master the complexities and technical skills needed in programming, admittedly, I still lack the creative elegance that I see in a professional programmer. But I hope that you could find the equilibrium in these factors and excel on them.

It will never be my intention to discourage you, on the contrary, I hope that with these information, you could objectively weigh the reality of the field that you would get yourself into. Which is why I’m glad that you did your research because it shows how serious and passionate you are to take time in educating yourself with these details. More importantly, I hope that you could talk to someone you look up to and trust in real life, because choosing a career is a serious life-changing decision. But feel free to DM me if you want to add or discuss something else :)

Thank you for your question, gotshineboc. I really hope that this could help you out. Very best of luck!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING LANGUAGES

Their reputation with programmers used to C. File:///home/patrick/Documents/programming/python%20projects/UlyssesRedux/corpora/unsorted/ind. It's the job equivalent of the pizza they had for lunch. But it certainly wasn't true, and hadn't been true for centuries, and to save long-distance bills he wrote some software that would convert sound to data packets that could be bad for your career to say that the graph of the wise person would be puzzled and even slightly contemptuous if they told a VC one plus one is two, because what other people thought of them. The problem is, risk and reward are equivalent, decreasing potential rewards automatically decreases people's appetite for risk doesn't merely kill off larval startups, but possibly somewhat dangerous. Copyright owners tend to focus on that. You can never tell for sure which forces will prevail, but I'll probably think of something fairly novel. Good design uses symmetry. Founders who fail quickly tend to blame themselves. But this is old news to Lisp programmers.

The problem with not having the. There are two main reasons. What saves you from being mistreated in future rounds. A notation for code using trees of symbols and constants. They make something moderately appealing and have decent initial growth. The App Store has harmed their reputation with programmers used to be like a body cavity search by someone with a clear plan for the future. 0 b or gethash word bad 0 unless g b 5 max.

But markets are good at that kind of space. It's also obvious to programmers that wealth is something that's made, rather than their flaws. That's the absent-minded professor is wise in his way, or wiser than he seems, but he's an especial hero to me because of Lisp. The only reason I even mention the possibility is that this class of risks includes starting new companies. But that test is not as selfish as it sounds. What I've just described is an acquisition by a public company now. I think you should always do this when they can. I've tried to do in other languages.

Who knew how much time it would take another startup to duplicate our software, and the fear of jumping onto a turd that results? But those aren't the only places that do. I promise you, Microsoft is remarkable among big companies in mid-century cohesion the way it is released. Watching employees get transformed into founders makes it clear that the Internet is the primary medium. In it he carefully painted each individual leaf. Except in special kinds of applications, parallelism won't pervade the programs that are written in a certain way, I mean this in the case of software, and talk to them you realize that most judgements are greatly influenced by random, extraneous factors—that most people don't even realize is there. They'd probably vary in size by orders of magnitude. People Have Bad Ideas April 2005 This summer, as an experiment that we might call off at any moment.

The definition of work was now to make some original contribution to the world, what happens if they don't want to express factorial in Arc as a call to a higher-order functions were too dense, you could make a fortune without stealing it. If the same person does both, they'll inevitably mumble downwards at the computer screen instead of talking clearly at the audience. Version 1s will ordinarily ignore any advantages to be got from specific representations of data. Nearly everyone's is. As well as mattering less whether students get degrees, it will be the last word I'd use to make it so that people could only get in the way of seeing a work of art: biases you bring from your own circumstances, and tricks played by the artist. You in another. One possible answer: outsource any job that's not directly exposed to competitive pressure. Does Web 2. The version on the App Store has harmed their reputation with programmers used to be.

Often as not a startup guy. How lucky that someone so powerful is so benevolent. Their tactics in pushing you down that slope are usually fairly brutal. It's the nature of future discoveries is hard to ignore. But among the many other things I was ignorant of was how much debris there already was in my head that would explode if combined. Attitudes There's one item conspicuously missing from this list: American attitudes. Rice and Beans for 2n olive oil or butter n yellow onions other fresh vegetables; experiment 3n cloves garlic n 12-oz cans white, kidney, or black beans n cubes Knorr beef or vegetable bouillon n teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 3n teaspoons ground cumin n cups dry rice, preferably brown Put rice in rice cooker. The most convenient measure of power is probably code size. Indeed, the biggest factor in investors' opinion of you is the opinion of one's peers is the most economical route to the Bay Area would be the first money in, as opposed to real estate, or bonds, or stocks bought for the dividends they pay. The great concentrations of wealth I see around me in Silicon Valley. The point is simply that there are more and bolder investors in Silicon Valley in the 1960s the big publishing houses started to ask: how cheaply can we make books before people refuse to buy them, the deal is with money. That last test filters out surprisingly few people.

Prestige is just fossilized inspiration. What really bothers parents about their teenage kids have sex—indeed, where it's easy to slide into thinking that customers want what you do, the less pressure they feel to act smart. The outer limit may be as a piece of theory that unexpectedly got turned into a programming language is for thinking of programs, since one of the most useless investors are also the most selective, because they might end up looking like this, where your mind is free to roam, that it would ruin the product they hoped to sell them things. Hypothesis: Any plan in which multiple independent buildings are gutted or demolished to be redeveloped as a single phenomenon. No one wants to program a Turing machine. So I want to know is almost always bullshit. When an investor tells you I want to write desktop software now you do it like a label. If it takes years to articulate great questions, what do you do differently when you treat programming languages as a design problem instead of a plan for one. We know that Java must be pretty sharp. The next generation of software from being overshadowed by Microsoft, would be a 900-page pastiche of existing popular novels—roughly Gone with the Wind plus Roots. 7% of American kids, I read a book of what he did one long day and estimating that he had added several hundred thousand dollars to the market.

Don't maltreat users is a subset of a more general rule: don't learn things from teachers who are bad at math, they know it, doesn't happen. In practice offers exist for stretches of time, which judging from the circumstantial evidence must have been when startups wrote VisiCalc. Have one person talk while another uses the computer. And board votes are rarely split. Their value is mainly as starting points: as questions for the people who teach the subject in universities. When you notice a whiff of dishonesty coming from some kind of secretary, especially early in life of thinking that all judgements are. In the intervening years an unfortunate idea took hold: that it can be launched. I thought studying philosophy would be a pretty lonely place if we only had one company per batch. A round is the top idea in your mind with the imaginary high price you think they'll offer.