#source: the red green show
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incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes · 1 month ago
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Stockman: Yes, I do know there's offensive material on the internet.
Stockman: And for ten dollars, I'll show you how to find it.
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thevaudevilledemon · 9 months ago
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*Sebastian is moping at the Stardrop Saloon bar, Maru is beside him having some lunch, Sam is in the corner doing something*
Sebastian: Life stinks, that's the Whole deal. Life stinks!
Maru: Yeah, just ask your feet.
Sebastian: What's that Maru?
Maru: Mm? Oh, I said you should be up on your feet, y'know, movin' around, get the ol' circulation goin'!
Sebastian: Why? Doctor just gave me a death sentence Maru. That's what it is, y'know a DEATH. SENTENCE. He might as well have pulled out a shotgun, put it beside my head and blown it off.
Maru: I don't think general practitioners can do that. Harvey only said you were out of shape, he didn't say you were gonna die Seb.
Sebastian: He said I couldn't ride my motorcycle anymore! I mean, it's worse than dying!
*Alex storms in*
Alex: Sam, have you seen Sebastian? Notices Seb Oh, Sebbie! Eh, up and at 'em! Let's go at it!
Sebastian: Drop dead Alex, I'm about to.
Alex: I'll have you know mister, I'm in terrific shape! Maru, come on over here, try to hurt me.
Maru: Oh no, no no no! I know this one, this is where you tear out my heart and show it to me just before I die. I think enough boys have done that to me in my lifetime already, thanks very much!
Alex: Smart girl! *Shane walks in* Shane! Come on! Try to hurt me!
Shane: Alright, you're short and you can't get a date.
Alex: I meant physically.
Shane: No thanks, I'm gettin' a drink.
Alex: Sam! get over here, come on! Try to hurt me!
Sam: *Kicks Alex in the Knee*
Sebastian: *Laughs*
Alex: I meant with your hands! *Turns to Sebastian* I wasn't ready.
Sebastian: If you were gonna get mugged, they'd have to phone ahead and make a reservation!
Pierre walks in: Who'd like a butter tart!
*Silence*
Pierre: Gus made them.
Everyone: Oh, okay, yum!
Alex: *Kicks the tray of tarts out of Pierre's hands* Hiyaah!
Pierre: Are you crazy! Half my butter tarts are stuck to the ceiling!
Alex: *Points to Sebastian* This man, does not need a butter tart. You might as well have taken one of those things and jammed it right into his heart!
Pierre: I'd like to take one of those things and jam it down your throat! Those took me two hours and nine pounds of flour!
Sebastian: I thought you said Gus made them!
Pierre: Well, you wouldn't have noticed the difference.
Alex: I'll have you know, Sebastian has given up junk food.
Sebastian: Woah, woah! Alex, since when?
Alex: Since you decided to lose twenty pounds and shape up, you pathetic Blubber Butt!
Maru: Ha! Blubber butt, good one Alex!
Sebastian: What are you laughing at, tubby?
Maru: Who me?
Sebastian: Look, you got a body like a sack of tapioca!
Pierre: Tapioca, Ha!
Maru: Oh yeah, you should talk Pierre!
Pierre: Who me?
Maru: Yes you, If Mayor Lewis asked you to list your first three ingredients, you'd have to list fat, Fat, FAT!
Shane: *Laughs*
Pierre: And what are you laughing at?
Shane: Who me?
Pierre: Yeah, I mean… You put on another five pounds and you'd have your own gravitational field!
Sam: *Laughs*
Shane: What are you laughing at? And don't say "Who me?". You let those jeans out one more time, you're gonna have nine separate pieces of denim.
Alex: Okay, alright, I think we've established you're all a little overweight. So can we get started! Now… assume this position. *Assumes goofy looking and probably fake martial arts position*
Shane: Well… let's just assume I assumed it, and don't dent the floor you guys.
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silelda · 1 year ago
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Price: You should be searching for him on foot.
Soap: Where's the fun in that?
Price: You're searching for someone. That's not supposed to be fun.
Soap: Then why do they call it a "search party"?
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tranquil-slaughterhouse · 1 year ago
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When playing a word guessing game (acquire)
Stolas: This is when you obtain something. Blitzo: Shoplifting Stolas: When you get something that you didn't have before, that means you- Blitzo: Slept in a cheap motel. Stolas: When your father passed his genes onto you, you something them. Blitzo: Sterilized them. Stolas: This is a place where you sing. Blitzo: The shower. Stolas: Actually, you do this with a group of people. Blitzo: ... The prison shower.
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totallycorrectfostershome · 2 years ago
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Bloo: I either have a plan, or I'm an idiot. Fluffer Nutter: That's good. Cause usually you have a plan and you're an idiot.
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incorrectclonehighquotes · 2 years ago
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From a Guess The Word Game: Answer is "Hand"
Joan: Five fingers... Abe: Five angry drivers!
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Edgar: Can we see a little enthusiasm and excitement, please?
Usher: I don't like excitement. Excitement ends up in the hospital. Sometimes the maternity ward.
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hitchell-mope · 2 years ago
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Audrey: For all this time that I’ve been here, I expect to get the respect I deserve!
Doug: Well, all this time you’ve been getting what you deserve but it’s not respect!
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never-stop-dreaming30 · 1 year ago
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The Things You Give Part 33
Whooooooweeee it's be a very long time! I'm so sorry it took so long to write this! I've been having a hard time feeling motivated but it's past the New Years and I decided that I need to end this story shortly. Story isn't done quite yet, but there are only a few more chapters! I hope you all had a beautiful holiday season and New Years! I know I did. Enjoy the chapter!
Quick note: Danny Masterson has been imprisoned and now Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are under fire and now being cancelled apparently. Not a good start of the year for anyone.
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June 1, 1979
Point Place, Wisconsin
Forman/Hyde Residence
Eric Forman’s Kitchen
“Hey, you two, how was your doctor’s appointment?” Kitty asked as she was stirring a hot pot of chili on the stove.
“Ugh,” Y/n groaned and plopped down on the chair at the table.
“The doctor says she can pop any day now,” Hyde answered for her and opened the fridge for a drink.
“Awe, sweetheart, you must be so uncomfortable,” Kitty said.
“I am. I’m so sick of being pregnant,” she whined. “I’m tired, my ankles are fat, my back hurts and—Steven! Will you please stop breathing down my neck?!”
“Uh,” he replied from the counter, no where close to her. “I’m over here.”
Y/n whined again. “I’m so sick of being pregnant.”
“The doctor said there are a couple things we can do to induce labor,” Steven said and pulled out a list. “She said we can try spicy foods, long walks, castor oil—”
“Don’t forget what she said could be more effective,” Y/n cut in.
Steven gave her a stoney look and put his hand on his hip. “I’m not saying that.”
“Why not? She’s a nurse she hears this stuff all the time! Besides, she’s gone through this as well!”
“What? Tell me what?” Kitty asked.
“No, I’m not saying it!”
“Steven!”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, tell me what?!” Kitty cried out.
“The doctor said sex can be the most effective to induce labor,” Y/n blurted out.
“Y/n, what the hell?!” Steven said, embarrassed.
“Oh,” Kitty said lowly and dropped her gaze back to the chili, almost uninterested. “Okay.”
“Okay? That’s all you got to say?” Y/n asked.
“Honey, it’s pretty clear that you wouldn’t be pregnant if you and Steven hadn’t…you know…”
“Okay!” Steven interrupted. “As nice as this conversation is, I gotta get to work.”
“Okay, fine, but—Mom, cover your ears—we’re doing it later!” Y/n shouted after him as he slammed the door shut, hoping to drown out that last part.
“Well, isn’t that lovely,” Kitty mumbled and poured herself a cup of chili. “Y/n, on a more appropriate topic, do you want some chili?”
“Hey, guys,” Eric introduced himself as he entered the kitchen. “Great news! I’m on my way to becoming a teacher. I filled out all my college application with red pen.” He giggled to himself. “That’s a teacher joke.”
“Well, now look at him!” Red announced as he walked through the kitchen door. “Out of bed and productive before three o’ clock.”
“Honey, you’re like a marine!” Kitty said cheerfully.
“A marine?” Y/n asked. “The only time I ever saw him storm a beach was when he was running away from a jellyfish!”
“Damn, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?” Eric quipped.
“If I could get up, I’d kick your ass for saying that,” Y/n threatened, sighing, and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the pain in lower back starting to intensify.
“Yeah, anyway,” Eric said and turned back to Red. “Hey, dad, all I need from you now is a financial statement so the school can see where I'm getting the old moola.”
“Oh, well, you see about that…” Red mumbled, nervous. “I, uh...I spent your college money to keep the muffler shop going.”  
“What?!” the twins shouted.
“You spent our college fund?!” Y/n continued.
“Why do you care?” Eric asked her. “It’s not like you’re going to college anytime soon. You don’t even know what you want to study.”
“Who says I don’t?” she asked. “I decided that I’m going to study biomedical engineering. Beat that, teach.”
“You’re going to study biomedical engineering?!” Kitty asked excitedly. “I knew you were going to take after me in the medical field!”
“Except the difference is she’ll be helping advance technology in the medical field instead of having to wipe people’s butts and administer them their IV’s,” Red said.
“Is that what you think I do all day?” Kitty asked, offended.
“Uh…” he whipped back to Y/n who was looking up at him with an amused smile. “Good job, kitten. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you,” she responded. “It would mean more if we had our college money!”
“Dad, how are we supposed to pay for college?” Eric asked.
“Look, with this damn mild winter, nobody's muffler rusted,” Red said. “I tried to rust them. I even went out at night and sprinkled salt all over the streets!”
Kitty squinted at her husband. “Not my good kosher salt!”
Red looked at his wife with a deadpanned look and rolled his eyes. “Yes, Kitty, I sprinkled the streets of Point Place with your half-pound bag of salt.”
“Wait. Mom, you knew about this?” Eric asked. “And you just said, ‘Please, go ahead. Take my son's college money and use it on a muffler shop?’”
“No,” she responded. “I think your father asked me if I thought you two would amount to anything, and I said, ‘I really, really hope so.’ And then he said, ‘I'm spending the twins’ college money on my muffler shop.’ And then I made the best blueberry cobbler I have ever made."
“Man, that was good,” Y/n reminisced. “I remember that cobbler. I always wondered why, when I said it was so good, you said, ‘At least I can give you this,’ and started to cry.”
“So, the upshot is, I have absolutely no money for college,” Eric said and puckered his lips in deep thought. “Looks like I’m going to have to use that football scholarship that was offered to me.”
“Oh, Eric, we should go talk to Mr. Bray!” Y/n suggested.
“Our old guidance counselor?” he asked.
“Finding money for college is what high school guidance counselors do.”
“I don't know about Mr. Bray. I don't think he really liked me,” Eric said. “One time I told him I was being bullied, and he just said, ‘What'd you expect?’"
“I’ll go with you,” Y/n said. “Mr. Bray loved me…in almost entirely appropriate ways.”
“Yeah…we’ll go,” Eric said, a little concerned.
“Okay, now that we got all that settled, we should celebrate!” Kitty announced.
Y/n scoffed. “Sure. With what?”
                                             --Later that day—
“Hey, don’t forget about the Led Zepplin concert next Friday,” Eric reminded his friends as they all sat in the basement.
“How could I forget?” Hyde asked. “It was the greatest bribery I’ve ever had.”
Y/n rolled her eyes at them.
It didn’t go unnoticed by Hyde. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing," she sighed, eyeing the TV and rubbed her belly.
“No, no you don’t get to do that just because you’re pregnant,” he pushed. “I know you, what’s wrong?”
“Awe, Steven, that’s really sweet,” Jackie said and turned to Markus. “When he and I were together, he wouldn’t even be bothered to ask me what was wrong. It didn’t even faze him.”
“To be fair, you’re always bothered by something,” Hyde quipped. “It was something new every day. I stopped keeping up after a while.”
“I am not!” she argued and turned to Markus who gave her a look. “Okay, maybe I was, but I’ve changed! The other day, I walked by a shoe sale and wasn’t upset that they didn’t have this beautiful shoe in my size. See? Growth.”
“Sure,” Hyde mindlessly and turned back to his wife. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”
“I’d rather not talk about it in front of our friends,” she responded.
“So, you guys can make out in front of us, even get caught doing it, but expressing why you’re upset is where you draw the line?” Donna pointed out.
“Yeah, spill it!” Fez demanded.
Y/n paused before sighing through her nose. “I don’t think you should go.”
“What?!” Eric shouted.
“Why?!” Hyde asked, appalled. “Why don’t you want me to go?”
“Well, I could go into labor any day now and I’d hate for you to miss the birth of your children for a concert,” she explained calmly.
“Y/n, your due date is on Monday. The kids will be here a full five days before the concert. I think it’ll be okay.”
“What if they’re not here by then? They can be late, you know,” Y/n pointed out.
“Come on, don’t do this,” Hyde said. “Don’t make me choose.”
“I shouldn’t have to make you!” she burst out. “You should know what comes first! Not some stupid concert!”
That made the group audibly gasp.
“What?! What I say?!” she asked them.
“You take that back!” Eric said, his voice wobbly.
“Blasphemous!” Kelso shouted.
“How dare you?” Fez asked under his breath.
“Oh, come on you guys, you can’t be serious,” she said. “Are you telling me my giving birth isn’t as important as some band?”
Everyone was quiet for a minute, filling Y/n with rage.
“It’s Led Zepplin,” Fez said quietly.
“Seriously?!” Y/n screeched and stood up. “You’re all going to leave me here all alone?!”
“I’m not going to the concert,” Markus piped up. “I’ll be here for you.”
She turned to everyone else. “Thank you, Markus. Maybe if I have boys I can name one of them after you!”
This made Jackie gasp. “How dare you?! I thought we agreed on Jack or Jackie!”
“I agreed to nothing!” Y/n argued. “You just assume because you think everyone caters to you, but you can’t be bothered to return the favor! The person who helps me deserves the credit.”
“What--?! That is not true!” Jackie shouted.
Everyone around her scoffed.
“C’mon, Jackie,” Donna said, side-eyeing her.
Jackie spun around to her boyfriend. “Markus! Aren’t you going to say something?”
He shrugged. “Sorry, babe, I have to agree with Y/n on this one.”
“Oh, you are in so much trouble!” she screeched.
Y/n clapped her hands and stomped her foot, gaining their attention. “Guys! Really? I thought that after we’ve all been through, you would want to be there for the birth of your nieces or nephews.” She turned to Hyde. “Or your children.” When no one responded, Y/n scoffed, hurt. “You know, what? I don’t care what you guys do. Go to the concert. Have fun.”
She didn’t let them get another single word out before she quietly walked upstairs to her room.
Once the door slammed, Donna turned to the group. “You guys, I feel really bad.”
“Yeah…I’d be pissed too if I couldn’t go to the concert,” Kelso said casually, opening a popsicle.
“No, you moron! That’s not why she’s upset!” Hyde said, irritated.
“Well, what does she expect us to do?” Eric asked. “Those tickets were a lot and it’s not our fault that the concert falls around the same time of her due date.” When he caught Donna glaring at him, he shrugged his shoulders. “What?!”
“You’re an ass,” Donna said. “I don’t think I want to go anymore.”
“Oh, come on! You have to go,” her boyfriend said. “She may not even have the kids on the day of the concert. It would be such a waste if we didn’t go.”
“Wow, Eric,” Donna said bitterly. “You’re being incredibly insensitive.”
“Okay, let’s say the babies come before the concert. No harm, no foul, amiright?” Eric asked.
“That’s if Hyde wants to go,” Markus responded. “When my sister and her husband had my niece, they were up pretty much three days straight and the last thing they wanted to do was go to a noisy concert.”
“Well, I think she’s being a little dramatic and honestly—quite selfish,” Kelso said. Everyone turned to look at him, finding himself cringing when Hyde gave him a death glare. “What?! She is!”
“She has a point, Michael!” Jackie defended. “No matter how mean and unfair she was to me.”
“You’re telling me that we might miss her birth is an overreaction?” Donna questioned him.
Kelso nodded and shrugged. “Well…yeah!”
“Unbelievable,” Donna said curtly as Hyde slugged Kelso in the arm.
“Ow, Hyde! What the hell?!”
“Keep talking crap about my wife Kelso and you’re going home with more than a bruised arm,” he threatened.
“Damn, sorry I said anything,” Kelso whined while rubbing his sore shoulder.
“You should be,” Hyde said and made his way towards the stairs. “I’m going to go talk to her.”
He took two steps at a time as he followed his bride.
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Y/n laid there in bed, glaring at the ceiling. Scenarios of possibilities wouldn’t stop dancing in her head about the day she would give birth while her supposed loving husband was at a concert.
She felt a very wet sensation run down her leg. As she looked down, she noticed that her water had broken, and it wasn’t long until the pain of contractions came along.
“Steven!” she cried out in pain. “Steven, the babies are coming!”
“Oh, really?” he asked, barley looking up from putting his jacket on. “This is inconvenient. Can you wait until I get back from the concert?”
“What?!”
“Look, the babies are important, but…Led Zepplin,” he replied, stepping backwards towards the door. “Just hold those kids in for me! Love you, bye!”
Y/n sneered at the thought, but her mind continued to race.
Smoke, heavy bass, and body sweat filled the air as the group, minus Y/n, head banged their way through each song of Led Zepplin.
“Hey, Hyde, isn’t Y/n giving birth right now?” Donna shouted through the noise, wide smile on her face.
“Yeah, but this is more important!” he shouted back.
“Yeah, to hell with her!” Eric shouted. “Led Zepplin is way more important!”
“Yeah, she’ll be fine,” Steven said. “We can always have more kids that I’ll probably end up being there for the birth!”
Tears started to well in her eyes. “Jerks.”
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.
“Y/n?” Steven asked as he poked his head through their shared bedroom door.
She quickly grabbed for her pregnancy book on the nightstand and pretended to be reading.
“Doll, can we talk?”
“About what?” she mumbled.
“You know what.”
“I think you made up your mind, so there’s no point,” she said, staring at the page.
“No, no that’s why I wanted to come up here,” he replied. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”
“Don’t be.”
“Y/n, can you please look at me?” he asked her and took the book from her, only to see tear streaks down her face. “Awe, Doll…”
She couldn’t stifle her sobs anymore as she broke down. “You love Led Zepplin more than me!” She shoved her face into a pillow.
He didn’t know if he should laugh or groan. “Y/n, come on, you know that’s not true.”
“No, it is!” she continued to wail. “I’m going to go into labor and you’re not going to care!”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. “You know that’s not true.”
“You won’t even help me go into labor!” she whined.
“I’m not going to sleep with you just so you can go into labor,” he deadpanned.
Y/n sat up and wiped at her face. “C’mon, Steven, I’m miserable here! The babies will be fine. It’s doctor recommended!”
“We haven’t even tried the others yet,” he said calmly.
Her face contorted again, fat tears rolling down her face. “You don’t find me attractive anymore!”
“I never said that!” Steven couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Then why won’t you make love to me?!”
“First, don’t say it like that ever again. And second: it has nothing to do with my finding you attractive.”
“Then what is it?” she wept.
“It’s…it’s nothing.”
This made her stop crying immediately and glare at him instead. He almost missed her crying. “What a load of crap!”
“C’mon, Y/n, don’t make me say it.”
“No, you’re gonna!” she demanded. “I want to know why you won’t have sex with your wife to help her go into labor!”
Steven tilted his head back at and stared at the ceiling. Closing his eyes, he groaned before looking back at her. “It’s weird, okay? I’m going to be doing you knowing that the babies are…right there. Knowing what’s going on.”
Y/n scrunched her eyebrows at him. “The babies are in my uterus, not in my, you know, hoo-ha.”
Steven found himself chucking at her euphonism. “What if I hurt them?”
“Like I just said, they’re farther up there than you can reach.”
“Ouch.”
She laughed and placed her hand on his arm. “Trust me, that’s something to be proud of.”
He laughed with her and kissed her.
“Let’s make a deal,” she said, catching his attention. “If I go into labor before the concert, by all means, go. But if I don’t by Friday—you don’t. What do you think?”
He tilted his head to the side, thinking before nodding. “Okay, let’s do it.”
“Okay, good,” she smiled at him as he leaned down to kiss her.
“How bout we try now?”
“Now you want to? Because of a concert?!”
“No, more so now I know I won’t hurt them or make it as weird.”
Y/n rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”
He laid her down onto her back, hovering above her and gently smiled. “That I am.”
                                             That Following Monday…
“That’s right, still no babies!” Y/n announced as she and Steven walked into the kitchen after their doctor appointment. Everyone sat in the kitchen, hanging out and snacking. Kitty, Donna, and Jackie sat at the table while Eric, Fez, and Kelso sat at the counter munching on some pop-tarts. “Today’s my due date and I am nowhere near in labor! Gah! This sucks!”
She plopped down at the table, causing it to shift.
“Oh, honey, I know how you feel,” Kitty comforted. “When I was pregnant with Laurie, I wanted her out so bad I almost reached a hand up there and yanked her out myself!”
“That’s a great story, Mom. Can you tell that to me while you’re getting me some iced tea?” Y/n snapped.
Kitty glared at her daughter as she reluctantly got up and grabbed for the pitcher in the fridge.
“Damn, pregnancy doesn’t agree with you,” Jackie said. “The bitch hormone is being released.”
“You try carrying twins who won’t stop kicking me—and each other!” she responded as the glass was placed in front of her. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Kitty grumbled as she sat back down.
“Seriously, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to one or both of the babies moving and kicking me. Have you ever had feet stuck in your ribcage? It’s a rude awakening. Literally.”
“Yeah, I feel your pain,” Hyde said. “Whenever you’re up, I’m up.”
“Oh, shove it!” Y/n spit. “You sleep like a damn log every night! You can be getting attacked while you’re dead asleep and barley stir!”
“No, I hear you. I just choose to stay still.”
“So, while I’m over here in uncomfortable, you’re snuggling your pillow just to avoid me?!”
Fez, Kelso, and Eric shifted their gazes to Hyde with amused smirks on their faces.
“You cuddle your pillow, Hyde?” Eric taunted.
“Shut up, Forman or I will suffocate you with said pillow.”
“But if you do, you won’t have a pillow to cuddle at night,” Fez continued.
“Shut up, Fez!”
“Y/n, have you tried any of the doctor’s suggestions?” Kitty asked.
“Yeah! Steven and I have done it like a dozen times since then,” she answered.
Kitty closed her eyes and rubbed her head. “Honey…have you tried anything else besides that?”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, why don’t you start with food? Let’s go out tonight.”
Y/n shrugged. “Yeah, let’s try that.”
“And the weather is supposed to be cooler tonight, we can go on that long walk,” Hyde said.
She sighed and rubbed her aching neck. “Yeah, that works.”
“There’s a good Indian restaurant that serves the spiciest curry downtown,” Kitty said. “Let’s go there.”
“Uh, do I have to go?” Eric piped up. “Last time I had anything spicy, I sat on the toilet for three days.”
“Ew,” Hyde said and turned to his wife. “Look, I’m going to go look for those specific teas the doc told me about. Do you want anything else?”
“Yeah, just about everything on that list,” she responded. “Get the castor oil, some hot peppers, pineapples—”
“Should I just get the whole store?” Hyde asked.
“Yes please.”
Hyde nodded and kissed her head. “I’ll be back.”
As soon as he walked out the door, Y/n stood. “Well, I’ve got to pee again. I swear these damn kids think that my bladder is a squeeze toy.”
“She’s got to have those kids any day now,” Donna said once Y/n had waddled out the kitchen.
“Yeah, it’s not like they’re trying,” said Kelso. “Hyde told me yesterday that she promised him that if she can give birth before Friday then he can go to the concert. Man, that must suck. Having an ol’ ball and chain telling you what to do.”
“Well, you’d never know since you’re too busy cheating on every girl you’ve ever dated,” Jackie snarked.
“Well, what do you say we make this interesting?” Kelso asked, ignoring Jackie’s comment.
“What do you mean?” Eric asked, tossing a Styrofoam football in the air. 
“I’ll bet you ten bucks she has the babies tomorrow,” he responded with a wide smirk.
“You’re on!” Jackie said excitedly and reached for her purse.
“Guys, I don’t feel right about this,” Donna said. “It’s not cool to bet on when our friend will go into labor.”
“Ugh, Donna,” Y/n called as she waddled down the stairs. “That candle you gave me smells horrible. Next time, maybe try getting me a candle that doesn’t smell like nature took a dump and forgot to flush.”
“It’s the smell of a forest!” she defended.
“Have you ever been to the forest?” Y/n said. “It doesn’t smell like that.”
Before she could let Donna respond, she waddled back upstairs. Once the door closed, Donna turned back to the group, annoyance written all over her face. “Make it twenty.”
                                                    --Later—
“Guys, I got some great news from the guidance counselor!” Eric announced as he ran into the living room where his family and Donna were sitting, watching TV.
“Yeah? What is it?” Red asked, turning down the volume on the TV.
“There's this program where you go and teach in an impoverished area for a year, and then they pay for your college. So, I signed up.”
“Eric, that’s wonderful!” Kitty cheered.
“That’s awesome!” Y/n joined in.
“See? I knew spending your college money would work out for the best,” Red said, smugly. “You're welcome.”
“So, where’s this impoverished place that you’re going to?” Steven asked.
“Is it east Milwaukee? You know I made a wrong turn there once and I ended up in this awful neighborhood,” Kitty said and lowered her voice as if anyone outside the living room could hear her. “They were playing radios on street corners!”
Eric shook his head. “No, I’m not going to east Milwaukee.”
“So, where then?” Donna asked.
Eric laid his hands out, palms up in excitement. “Its Africa.”
“Africa?!” Everyone said in shock.
“Africa, Wisconsin?” Kitty asked hopefully.
“No, Kitty, the country,” Red answered.
“You’re going to teach in Africa?” Y/n asked, her heart breaking. “So, does that mean you’re not going to be here when the babies are born?”
“No, no, I’ll still be here,” Eric said. “I’ll be leaving in August.”
“Oh,” she responded. “H-how long will you be gone?”
“About a year.”
“A YEAR?!” All three women shouted.
“What’s the big deal?” Eric asked, eyebrows knitting in confusion.
“The big deal is you made this big decision without coming to me at all!” Donna shouted and stood from the couch and stormed out.
“See? Donna understands,” Kitty said while Eric sighed in defeat.
This isn’t how he was planning this go at all.
                                         --Later that evening--
“Joey?” Y/n asked her husband as they sat at the kitchen table, eating dinner.
Hyde shook his head. “Have a cousin named Joey. Last I heard he was being treated for VD and on his way to a halfway house.”
“Oookay,” Y/n said, going down the list of names in her book. “Victoria?”
“No.”
“Why not?!”
“Because my mom had a best friend named Victoria.” He paused to take a bite of his spicy food before going into deep thought. “Pretty sure at one point she was more than that.”
Y/n gave him a blank stared smile. “I’ll never be able to erase that image out of my mind.”
“How bout Jimmy?”
Y/n put down the book. “Why Jimmy?”
He shrugged and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I’ve just always liked that name.”
She squinted her eyes at him. “Since when?”
“I don’t know, a few years maybe.”
“Or maybe because it’s the name of the guitarist in Led Zepplin?”
Hyde pretended to be shocked. “Is that where that’s from? Wow, what are the odds?”
Y/n rolled her eyes at him. “Keep thinking, genius.”
“Eleanor?” he suggested.
“I’m sorry, am I giving birth to a seventy-five-year-old?” 
“What’s wrong with Eleanor?”
“I feel like I’d be giving birth to a Roosevelt. No, thank you.”
“We can call her Ellie for short,” he argued.
“Ellie Hyde?” she questioned.
“Let’s keep brainstorming,” he agreed and looked at her plate which she barely touched. “Why aren’t you eating your spicy curry? I added extra peppers for you.”
Y/n let out a sigh and put down her book. “It’s not working. Nothing is going to get these kids out.”
“You’ve barley taken a bite out of your food. Maybe if you eat half of it, you’ll actually go into labor.”
“If I eat anymore, I’ll be breathing out fire,” she deadpanned.
“Come on, it’s good. Try it,” he encouraged before taking a bite of her curry. It didn’t take long for the spices to set his mouth aflame. He started panting like a dog before desperately grabbing her glass of water and downing it like a man who hasn’t had water in days.
“Oh, my God,” he panted once the water was down. “How are you eating this?”
Y/n gave him an amused smile. “I’m about to push two human beings out of me, I think a hot mouth is the least of my worries.”
“Speaking of hot mouth, why don’t you and I go upstairs and try to get these babies here?” Hyde suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.
“C’mon, we’ve done it like a hundred times; clearly the babies aren’t coming,” she replied, defeated.
“You don’t know that,” he replied gently.
Y/n shook her head, defeated. “I guess these babies will come when they decide to.”
Steven looked at her before standing to his feet. “Come on. We’re going for a walk.”
                                            45 Minutes Later...
“I told you the walk wouldn’t work!” Y/n complained as they walked through the sliding door, picking out leaves and twigs from her hair.
“Well, it would’ve if you hadn’t tried to jump on me in the park!” Hyde argued as he looked down at the mud stains on his pants and shirt.
“I was trying to be romantic!”
“You’re trying to get these kids out of you so fast, you’re willing to knock us both over in a big puddle just for a quickie behind a bush!”
“How the hell was I supposed to know there was a deep mud puddle there?!” she yelled, prying her wet and muddy dress away from her thighs.
“Gee, I don’t know, maybe the fact that it RAINED earlier?” he yelled back.
“Ugh, you know what, I’m going to go shower. Don’t follow me!”
“What is going on?” Eric asked as he entered the kitchen with Donna. He took one look at the couple and started laughing. “What happened to you two?”
“Y/n thought it would be the perfect time to get romantic on a walk in the park to try to go into labor,” Steven replied, glaring at his wife who wasn’t even looking at him.
Eric scrunched up his nose at them. “Sorry I asked.”
“I’m going to go shower because the mud is started seal my butt cheeks together,” Y/n announced before waddling out the kitchen.
“Didn’t need to know that!” Eric cried out and turned back to Hyde. “So, are you guys going to keep trying?”
Hyde sighed frustratingly. “At this point, I don’t know. We’ve tried spicy foods, canola oil, sex…nothing is working. The long walk may have worked if she hadn’t cut it short.”
“Well, you know, maybe the babies will come tomorrow…or in a couple days…” Donna suggested and nonchalantly grabbed a soda from the fridge.
“I don’t know. I’m starting to think these kids are going to come closer to the concert and I just got to accept the fact that I’m not going to be able to make it.”
“What?! No, Hyde don’t say that,” Eric said. “You’re going to be able to have those babies and still go to the concert.”
“You know, Hyde, maybe you’re not doing this right,” Donna said and sat at the table. “Maybe, the babies will come tomorrow or Wednesday…”
Hyde squinted his eyes at her. “Why? Why tomorrow or Wednesday?”
She shook her head. “No reason!”
Hyde rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever. I’m going to shower as well. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
Once he was out of earshot, Eric turned to Donna.
“Way to almost blow our cover!”
                                                         ---
Tuesday came and go with Y/n getting more miserable by the minute.
“It’s Tuesday night, she can still have the baby tonight!” Jackie argued.
“You had until 8pm. You can’t bend the rules now. Now pay up!” Donna chortled and held out her hand.
“Fine!” Jackie screeched and reached into her purse. “Here’s your stupid twenty bucks!”
“Thank you,” Donna said smugly and fanned her face with the two tens.
“Okay, double or nothing she has them by tomorrow,” Jackie said.
“I bet she’ll have them by Thursday,” Kelso said.
“I bet you’re all wrong,” Eric said. “I want to say she’ll have them by Sunday.”
“And I bet she’s losing six friends,” Markus piped up, disgusted at their behavior.
“Five,” Eric corrected. “She can’t lose me. I’m her brother after all.”
“I don’t think that’s going to make a difference,” Markus said.
“Markus, baby, shush,” Jackie said, tapping his leg. “We’re just having a little fun.”
“Fun?” he questioned. “You’re betting on your friend’s pain and misery! I don’t think she would classify this as fun.”
“She would if it was any one of us,” Eric pointed out.
“Only with you,” Donna chuckled. “She’s fine with the rest of us.” She looked up to Kelso who was mindlessly sucking on a popsicle. “Well, maybe Kelso too.”
He looked down at her, frowning, pausing with the popsicle still in his mouth. “Why me?”
“Because it’s so easy,” Fez added in, laughing. “Like you.”
                                                        ---
“That’s it, I give up!” Y/n said, exasperated three days later as she and her husband sat in the basement. “I’m done trying to get these kids to come out. They’ll come when they come.”
“No, don’t give up yet,” Eric said, faux-sympathetic.
“You just want them to be born so you can go to the concert,” she grumbled.
Eric’s gaze flicked to the rest of the group; Hyde staring at him suspiciously.
“Y-you can keep trying…even if it takes you to Sunday,” he said.
“Or Monday!” Jackie piped up. “I think you’ll go into labor then.”
“Nah, I’m saying Tuesday,” Fez said.
Y/n squinted her eyes at her friends. “Okay, what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Fez squeaked.
“Uh huh, and I’m calling bologna,” she said, eyes never leaving Fez’s nervous ones.
“Nothing you’ll be interested in,” Jackie said.
“Yeah? Try me.”
Everyone was silent, not daring to speak up, until—
“We’ve all been making a bet to see when you’ll go into labor!” Fez blurted out.
“FEZ!” Everyone shouted.
“What the hell?!” Eric shouted.
“Unbelievable!” Donna cried out.
“Big mouth!” Jackie chimed in.
“Traitor!” Kelso added.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t lie to her!” Fez said.
“But you can bet money on me?!” Y/n shouted. “I can’t believe you guys!”
“Yeah! How could you do this and not let me in on it?!” Hyde shouted.
Y/n snapped her head to him. “WHAT?!”
“C’mon, we’re both so miserable here, at least let’s make some money out of it,” he defended.
“Oh, yeah I’m sure all that sex has helped ease the pain,” Fez grumbled bitterly.
“Shut up, Fez,” Hyde demanded, making Fez pout and turn away.
“You know the worst part is you guys didn’t include me on this,” Y/n continued.
“What?” the group asked in unison.
“Well, like Steven said, if I’m going to be miserable, I might as well make some money!”
“Hey, you’re cooler about this than I thought you would,” Markus said.
“If I wasn’t pregnant and desperate to get these kids out, I wouldn’t be,” she said. “Now, tell me, how high is the bet?”
“Forty,” he responded casually.
“Forty?!” Y/n screeched. “C’mon I’m worth more than that!”
“It’s all I’ve got in my purse,” Jackie responded bitterly. “Unless you have more money.”
“I know Hyde does,” Kelso smirked.
Hyde glared at him. “Drop it before I drop you.”
                                          The Next Day…
“C’mon, babies, just stay in there until after tonight,” Eric encouraged, talking to his sister’s belly.
“You know that’s not how that works,” she responded, laughing at him.
“They can still hear right? Maybe they will listen.”
“Yeah, in your dreams, Forman,” Hyde said as he sat next to his wife on the couch.
“Come on, babies, if you wait to come out and let Daddy go to the concert with Uncle Eric, I promise I’ll give you whatever you want.”
Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle. “I don’t think they’re coming out anytime soon. You guys can go to the concert tonight, it’s fine.”
“YES!” Eric cheered.
“You sure?” Hyde asked genuinely and turned to her. “What if you go into labor while I’m gone?”
“I still have my parents here and Markus said he’ll be a phone call away if I need him,” she reassured him.
Hyde made a face at her. “I don’t know how I feel about this new guy helping you.”
“Would you rather it be Fez or Kelso?”
He smacked his lips in thought. “Good point.”
“Besides, I think it’ll be nice to just be me tonight,” she continued. “I can finally start that book I’ve wanting to read.”
“Vogue Magazine isn’t a book,” Eric reminded.
“Neither are comics,” she snapped back.
“Then why are they called comic books?” he shot back.
Y/n sighed. “Either way, I’m looking forward to finally getting some alone time.”
“As long you’re okay with it. And I won’t be out long,” Hyde promised.
“Okay,” Y/n said, smiling at him and kissed him. “I’m going to go take a nap. Wake me up before you leave.”
Hyde nodded as he helped her off the couch. Just as she did, she clutched her stomach, hissing sharply.
“Oh!” she yelped, bending over.
“Oh, my God! Y/n!” Hyde reacted quickly, reaching for her so she didn’t stumble forward.
“Y/n, are you okay?!” Eric asked her with wide eyes.
“Yeah, just kidding,” she giggled and walked upstairs.
The two young men let out a breath of relief and glared at her as she walked up the stairs.
“Sometimes, I really, really don’t like her,” Eric griped.
                                             --Time Skip—
“Y/n, I’m leaving!” Steven said as he gathered his wallet, keys, and tickets together.
“I’m coming,” she called out as she waddled down the stairs.
He met her at the bottom of the stairs and placed his hands on her hips, leaning down to kiss her. “You sure you’re okay with this?”
“More than,” she said, grinning. “You go and have a great time, okay?”
“I will. I left the number for you on the counter to the venue in case anything happens.”
“Look at you, being all worried and responsible,” she teased.
He chuckled and kissed her gently. “I love you. I’m serious—call.”
“I will,” she said and hugged him. “I love you. Have fun.”
“Will you stop making out with my sister and get in the car?” Eric asked impatiently. “Led Zepplin isn’t going to wait for us.”
“Shut up, Forman,” Hyde said and turned to Y/n once more. “Try to not have those babies until I get back.”
“I will definitely try,” she replied sweetly before giving him one more kiss. “Now, go. Enjoy the concert. Oh! Wait there for a moment.” She ran back to the kitchen before returning to the front door with a camera in her hand. “Take some pictures for me.”
Hyde held the large polaroid camera in his hand and looked at his wife. “You want me to take pictures the whole time?”
She nodded innocently. “Yeah!”
“No,” he deadpanned and set the camera on the couch.
“What? Why?!”
“I’m going to be busy rocking and rolling, not taking pictures of the band.”
“Steven, please! Just because I can’t be there doesn’t mean I don’t want pictures!”
“Yeah, that’s a lot of pictures that I don’t want to take and have to keep track of. No, thanks.”
“Why’re you being so stubborn?”
“Hey, if you wanted to see Led Zepplin, you should be going,” Eric piped up from behind them.
“You literally bought tickets for everyone but me,” she snipped.
“Correction: I bought them for me, you, Hyde, and Donna. Kelso bought tickets for him and Hyde,”
“But…Jackie’s not going, what're you doing with that extra ticket?” Y/n inquired.
“Yeah…he thought he was going to be able to score with her, but then she met Markus and quite frankly, I think Kelso is afraid of him. So, he’s bringing Fez,” Eric answered.
“I’m not even going to question that,” she said and turned back to her husband. “You be careful and have fun. But not too much fun!”
“Alright, cool, let’s go!” Eric pushed and shoved Hyde out the door.
“What the hell, man?” Hyde asked outside the door.
“We still have to pick up Kelso and Fez and I’d rather not be later because you couldn’t stop being mushy with my sister,” Eric responded and closed the door before Y/n could hear what Hyde had to say.
Y/n looked down to her stomach and held it between her hands. “Well, guys, it looks like it’s just us. What do you guys want to do? We can watch TV, read a book…eat a tub of ice cream?” A kick to the stomach confirmed her question. “Ice cream it is!”
                                         Later that night…
Y/n sat on the couch in the living room watching a rerun of Three’s Company when the doorbell rang. When she answered the door, Jackie and Markus stood there.
“What’re you guys doing here?” Y/n asked them.
“Well, we know you’re by yourself tonight so we figured you’d like some company,” Markus said with a bright smile and held up a Fatso Burger bag. “We also brought food.”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it that nicely, but yeah same,” Jackie said and welcomed herself in.
“Oh, uh, well thanks,” Y/n said and closed the door. “You guys don’t have to be here. My parents are home and if anything happens, they’ll be here.”
“Nonsense. We’re your friends,” Markus said and sat down on the couch. “Besides, we figured you were hungry.”
“Always,” Y/n said and waddled over to the couch. “This was really nice of you. Thank you.”
“Not a problem,” Markus said, smiling and handing her a wrapped burger. “What’re we watching?”
“Three’s Company. It’s the one where Chrissy takes a freelance job as an X-rated writer for a fictional diary,” Y/n responded, watching the screen.
“Oh, that’s a good one,” Jackie said, digging into her fries.
After they had finished their meals and the episode ended, another one was starting soon as they all had settled back into the couch.
“No, no, no that’s ridiculous,” Markus argued. “Why would Doc Ock be Spider-Man’s greatest enemy? It’s always been Green Goblin!”
“The Green Goblin is Peter’s most famous enemy, but it makes sense that his greatest enemy is Doc Ock because think about it: Your mentor and friend turning bad? Can you imagine the betrayal?” Y/n countered.
“But Green Goblin was his best friend’s dad! That also has to mean something! Then, once his dad died, his best friend became the Green Goblin!”
“Yeah, that would mean something if Harry hadn’t tried to kill Peter first!”
“To be fair, Harry didn’t know about Spider-Man’s identity until later.”
“And to be fair, this conversation is killing me,” Jackie piped up, bored.
“Yeah, but—” Y/n was cut off by an abrupt sharp pain down in her lower abdomen. Her hands flew to her stomach and held her breath as the pain radiated and quickly subsided. She let out a sigh of relief.
Markus and Jackie sat up straight as Markus’s hands hovered over Y/n. “A-are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Y/n responded, breathlessly. “That was weird. Anyway, as I was saying—OH!”
Another sharp pain reared its ugly head, radiating through her pelvis to her back and down her legs. “Oh, my God!” Her grip on the couch tightened, knuckles turning white. She could feel her abdomen tighten rock-hard as she felt the pain become more intense.
“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Jackie asked.
Y/n couldn’t respond and could only whimper.
“Oh, my God,” Markus said, panicking and jumped from the couch. “Oh, my God! Not now!”
All Y/n could do was shake her head as the pain was starting to subside to the point where she could get some words out. “No, no, it can’t be. It can take a while for the babies to get here. It could just be the beginning stages.”
“The beginning stages of what?” Jackie asked.
Markus looked at her with a panicked and wild look in his eyes. “Are you serious?!”
“What?!” she asked, matching his energy.
“She’s in labor, Jackie!”
“Oh,” Jackie said calmly, but then it hit her. “OH!”
“We need to get you to the hospital,” Markus said, rushing to get her up from the couch.
“That’s not necessary,” Y/n said, another sharp pressure coming on as she stood. “The book said contractions need to be five to ten minutes apart before going to the hospital. Labor can take a while.”
Markus sighed a small breath of relief before looking down and his eyes widening. “And what does the book say about that?”
Y/n looked down on the floor at her feet as she felt some wetness.
                                          Her water had broke.
Taglist: @not-shy-nanya @taysirene @maddieschampagneproblems @mdittyz123 @undead-sierra @random-thoughts-004 @lieswithoutfairytales @chloem4a1 @srhxpc @zhonglibxitch @leothesquishy
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pkmnincorrectquotes · 1 year ago
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Red: *to Ethan* I’ve got to get back before Green realises I’m not in bed.
*meanwhile, at home*
Green: *has just woken up and is panicking* Red? RED!!
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incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes · 2 years ago
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Mikey: I either have a plan, or I'm an idiot.
Raph: That's good. Cause usually you have a plan and you're an idiot.
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thevaudevilledemon · 11 months ago
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Sam: Uh... I have an emergency announcement, can I have everyone's attention please?
Emily: *Is the only person in the saloon, looks around before giving Sam her attention*
Sam: Thank you, uh... we've had a shooting.
Emily: Doh, pfft. Well, I'm not impressed with that Sam, grown men out there in the middle of the woods shooting defenseless animals, whoop-dee-doo, there's no announcement to be made there. You know what, you should be ashamed Sam!
Sam: Well actually, uh... you know, no, no one shot any animals, uh... I shot Pierre.
Emily: Oh... well that's not so bad.
Alex: *Walks in looking around for someone*
Sam: And it seems Alex is having a hard time finding Harvey, uh... try to kitchen.
Gus: *Walks in*, Hello Sam, who'd you shoot this time?
Emily: Pierre.
Gus: Oh well that's not so bad.
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silelda · 1 year ago
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Soap: We're good. We're good. No problem.
Rudy: No problem? NO PROBLEM?! We almost burned the place down, and that's NO PROBLEM?
Soap: See, to me, the key word there is "almost".
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tyrantisterror · 3 months ago
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When I was 3 years old I went to a preschool that had this little green crocheted crocodile finger puppet that was my absolute favorite toy to play with of all time. I named her Chelsea, because Chelsea starts with C and crocodile starts with C and more often than not wild animals in fiction aimed at kids have names that start with the same first letter as their species. I played with Chelsea every day, because she was my favorite toy, and because the other kids weren't really interested in her, and also because I eventually started to hide her in a special secret spot in the room so no one else would find her before I did. She was so beloved by me that when I graduated from preschool, my teachers gave Chelsea to me permanently, because it was clear no one else would ever love that little crochet crocodile as much as me anyway (in part because I hid her). They waited a few weeks after I graduated before doing it, too, and sent Chelsea with some post cards as if the crocodile had been on a whirlwind "travel the world" vacation before deciding to come live with me.
And Chelsea remained my favorite toy all through my childhood. There were others I loved nearly as much, like my Imperial Godzilla and the big red T.rex from the first Jurassic Park toy line and my tiny knockoff plush Charmander, but Chelsea always held the place of honor in my heart. She was my absolute favorite toy.
I kept a lot of my favorite toys through adolescence, even if social pressure eventually got me to give away a lot of them (and some, y'know, broke). That's obviously not surprising to you if you've followed my blog, since I still collect toys into my adulthood. But it's important to note because while I know I made a conscious effort to never throw out Chelsea every time I pared down my collection... at some point, she went missing.
I became aware of it when I graduated from high school. I was feeling really emotional about leaving that stage of my life and, y'know, becoming an adult and shit, and in that state I decided to find Chelsea to reassure myself that I hadn't entirely left childhood behind. But Chelsea wasn't there. No matter how hard I looked, I could not find Chelsea anywhere.
And that was, like, devastating, because the only explanation was that somehow, at some point, I had accidentally tossed her out with some other "childhood junk" while trying to grow up and be responsible in my teen years. I had literally thrown away my childhood in a careless attempt to be more grown up.
Of course I knew she was just a toy - nothing more than some yarn twisted together in the loose shape of a crocodile, lifeless and soul-less and more or less worthless in the objective light of day. But she was also Chelsea, my best friend since i was three, my stalwart little pal, a source of comfort for most of my life at that point, and I had just... tossed her out! Like garbage! What kind of person was I becoming if I could do that to my best friend?
I was very visibly distraught, and my mom noticed. Being very crafty, she tried to find the pattern for Chelsea so she could crochet me a new one. The problem is, she had no idea where to find said pattern. She checked all her books of crochet patterns, and when that failed she tried the internet, but no matter how hard she looked, she found nothing.
So my mom found the next best thing.
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The original Chelsea was a tiny finger puppet, and I had "met" her when I was three. Well, I was eighteen now - shouldn't Chelsea have grown too? And as has been established, this crocodile was fond of whirlwind vacations. My mom found a pattern that looked as much like Chelsea as possible while also being a much bigger crocodile, and gifted her to me before I left for college - to show that while we can't stop the flow of time or how it changes us, that doesn't mean we have to leave it behind.
And yeah, I decided to believe it. That's Chelsea now. Yeah, I know that in reality it's a completely different set of yarn made by my mom rather than... whoever it was that crocheted the original Chelsea, but then, Chelsea was never really the yarn. She was the feelings I put into the yarn, you know? So that's Chelsea, all grown up, and still my most prized toy.
...
Flash forward... Jesus, eighteen years, holy shit. A few weeks ago I saw a post trying to identify a different crochet crocodile pattern, and thinking it was cute, I decided to try and look for it on ebay and etsy, just to see if maybe I could find it. I didn't, but do you know what I found instead?
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A very familiar crochet crocodile finger puppet. An intensely familiar one, you might say. Of course I bought it. And of course I asked the seller if, perhaps, they might have the pattern for it or know where it came from (they did not, alas). And after a few days, she showed up at my house.
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She's not Chelsea, obviously. For one thing, she's far too clean and fresh looking - Chelsea was very well loved, and looked the part, while this crocodile finger puppet has definitely not endured years upon years of a child's affection. And, more importantly, she's not Chelsea because we've already established that Chelsea grew up into a bigger crochet crocodile. This has to be Chelsea's younger sister, Cici.
And if I could find another of Chelsea's kind after all these years, then maybe, with a bit of luck, I might find the pattern for her, and be able to make more of them. Fill the world with Chelseas.
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totallycorrectfostershome · 2 years ago
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Duchess: For all this time that I’ve been here, I expect to get the respect I deserve! Frankie: Well, all this time you’ve been getting what you deserve but it’s not respect!
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incorrectclonehighquotes · 2 years ago
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"Yes, I do know there's offensive material on the internet. And for ten dollars, I'll show you how to find it." -Topher Bus
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