#specially considering how easy it is to draw parallels between them to the point it becomes comical

[disaster-fruit]

I’m surprised I’ve yet to read a fic featuring Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao getting together to gossip about their respective messy polycules over a drink

[sanjiafsincedayone]

Why SaNa over other ships?

Now, this is not to hate on other ships or downplay them, because what shipping really comes down to is often simply preference. What characters or dynamics you enjoy and what reasons you might have for liking different things. 

No, this is simply my own reasons for why I like SaNa and also why I think they could make sense and thirdly why it’s possible Oda could be setting it up to actually happen in canon. It’s all just my views and I apologize if I forget a moment or add something that is more head canon, but again, this is my reasons and they will always be partially biased. (And there are too many to remember them all properly, so if you want to add feel welcome to do so.)

I think Sanji and Nami is a lovely ship even based just on fan content and the community. But we also get some great moments in the manga, and I personally think there is potential for Oda to make an actual romance work between them.

1. Why I like Sanji and Nami

I personally fell in love with Sanji before I even started to watch or read One Piece, simply based on his voice actor (Hiroaki Hirata), his design and his fighting style. So obviously I already have a bias towards Sanji (SanjiAFsincedayone having a bias towards Sanji? Who knew?). I didn’t ship Sanji with Nami from the start and even now I am a multi shipper who enjoys fan content with Sanji as a main part of several pairs, most prominently ZoSan.

So, when did I fall for SaNa then? Well, I have talked about it in various posts before which you can find in my Masterpost - SanjiAFsincedayone, but for me shipping Sanji and Nami more seriously didn’t start until Thriller Bark. 

Sanji took a knife in the back for her as she is dressed in a wedding dress, even this one scene is enough to explain why someone might like to ship them together.

I for sure saw many SaNa moments before that, and felt Nami seemed special to Sanji, but I didn’t think it would have a big chance of happening and I preferred other ships above it when consuming fan material. Again, shipping is after all mostly fantasy and wanting more of something in a romantic/sexual way. Thriller Bark was when Sanji and Nami’s interactions caught my attention properly and I started to look a bit closer and actually note the way Oda wrote them and their moments. Going back after and rereading I think there is a lot of interesting things even before that. But the wedding theme and bridal carry and how Oda showed them in Thriller Bark was just too on the nose to ignore.

What got me into shipping Sanji with Nami were mainly three things. 

1. Their dynamics getting more interesting over time and Sanji and Nami being two of the most well written and interesting characters in One Piece. 2. Sanji consistently seeming to have a preference for Nami in combination with my belief that he is after true love and isn’t just a pervert forever doomed to be alone. 3.  The manga showing the potential of it actually happening and them finally catching my attention in Thriller Bark. Basically there are moments to follow and look at in the actual story as well, which in turn also leads to more fan content and material for shippers.

So point 1 and 2 really is mostly about my preference and how much I enjoy watching them together and how well I imagine they would fit together. I think their personalities and desires overlap well with them being able to understand and compromise for each other while aslo being on a similar level of intelligence and communication. They also have their kindness and empathy as a highlighted shared theme for their characters.

Them talking about the Children in Punk Hazard or Sanji helping Nami turn in the argument between both Luffy and Vivi and Luffy and Usopp are some examples. Or Nami letting Sanji smoke in her body because she knows how hard it is for him. Small gestures like this show both understanding and a willingness to compromise.

I think they are fun and have a relationship that right now might need working on, but it’s clear how much they care for each other and how they actually appriciate each other a lot.

Simply put I think they are interesting together and I think they could work as a romantic couple in the future, where their dreams and family oriented views migh allign. Again, from how I view them as characters and interpret their wants and possible futures I think Sanji and Nami is a good match. They can have a restaurant either traveling the world or docked close to both Cocoyashi and Zeff, Nami can tend to her mikans together with Sanji and they can manage a restaurant for a living. I also think they are the most parental members in the crew and has shown some possible signs of wanting to settle down with families. This would also work well as a final contrast to their less than happy childhoods (You might also want to check out my post (Part 3) Sanji x Nami hints - Thematic parallels).

There is a lot of potential in their dynamics and how different they seem while they also seem willing to adapt and try to understand each other that make them interesting as characters of romantic plots. At the same time they have enough in common to relate to each other and work well together. Again, as a fictional ship within the fandom there is a lot of great artists, writers etc. that truly explore them and make Sanji and Nami a great and fun ship with an active fandom to engage with.

Of course there are more shallow reasons like them matching in age and being good-looking but really I could ship Sanji with almost any woman if it was only about the looks. I mean, Purin is basically made to be a perfect match for Sanji, but I personally find his dynamic with Nami much more interesting and his dedication to Nami is of course unpraralleled thanks to the time Oda has spent on them over many years.

I love Sanji and Nami as individual characters and with the amount of moments between them there is also a lot to explore and enjoy in the manga. It makes them interesting in a third aspect for me, which is of course analysis and the potential of them actually ending up together and looking closer at the way Oda writes them from a story perspective. For me what we have gotten from Oda in terms of Sanji x Nami moments is very interesting and I see potential there even though it would need more development to truly work for the current story.

But, again shipping doesn’t have to mean anything for the actual story... There are crack ships or slash ships that surely will never happen but that could still be great and fun to explore for the fans. Honestly, everyone is free to ship whatever they want. We all have different taste after all.

So, what about the manga then? 

2. Why do I think they could make sense as a romantic couple even in canon?

First, my own view is that Sanji is someone who seeks true love, and as briefly shown with both Violet and Purin it seems like he would take an actual relationship seriously if given the chance. I also think it would make him happy and thus as Oda might want to create happy resolutions for the strawhats I think Sanji ending up with someone has quite a big chance of happening. This is combination with his preference for Nami and in turn Nami truly caring for him (though not yet in a romantic way) is something that makes me think it could happen. Other ships have potential too depending on how Oda decides to develop them, but considering how he keeps adding moments for SaNa in the way he does as of now I still think SaNa is the most likely ship for Sanji.

As I mentioned earlier I also think Nami has shown some possible inclinations for wanting a family (or at least being a great mother if we look at her with children in many arc, not the least Punk Hazard) and maybe even getting married eventually. 

If she ends up with someone we will need to see a more obvious attraction and want for romance from her no matter what ship we might consider. She has at this point not shown a lot, but I do think the thematic parallels she shares with Sanji in combination with how their moments are written has the potential to grow into something more. 

As a romantic pair I think Sanji and Nami would be happy, he would adore her and take care of her and both of them would probably find that ideal. In fact it’s already a big part of their dynamics and seem to make them both happy. They also seem to try to understand and show interest in knowing each other as seen with several scenes and general attention towards each other’s backstories. They also challange each other in different ways and we have seen them compromise a few times. I think compared to many other relationship in the manga Oda has shown more personal moments between them. So a romantic additional aspect is not too far off. Not that Oda would make it happen now, but that he would lay down the groundwork for it to work by the end of the series.

In short I think they would make each other happy, but also challange and grow thanks to the other. I think their dreams of traveling the world with Nami drawing her map and Sanji cooking on all the seas and finding All Blue and then settiling down together close to both their “homes” in East Blue with a restaurant and family seems to fit them both. It wouldn’t always be easy, but I think they would actually enjoy their dynamics with Nami bossing Sanji around most of the time.

Now this all sounds nice and all, but it’s of course just my imagination based on biased interpretations of the manga. So where do I get it from?

3. The way SaNa is portrayed by Oda

Now this is really the biggest point... Because again, I can ship whatever characters I want and it is just for fun. It doesn’t have to happen for me to enjoy it or I wouldn’t ship Sanji with Zoro. But with Sanji and Nami there are legit reasons in addition to my preference that makes me think it could happen in the manga.

It might take years to actually go through it all in order with my additional interpretations, but I will try to go through the basics themes and moments that to me could indicate SaNa over any other Sanji or Namji ship.

I think the obvious thing to talk about first is simply how Sanji definitely has a romantic (and sexual) interest in Nami. No matter what other character you might see with either of them, this has been shown consistantly over the whole manga. You may argue that Sanji might be interested in others equally, and though I wouldn’t agree it’s a fair point. However from a story perspective it would still need to be resolved. It’s highly unlikely for Nami to end up with anyone unless Sanji ends up with someone else and gets a happy ending too.

As for Sanji’s interest in Nami I personally think Oda has paid a lot of attention to it in a way that makes it the most likely ship for Sanji. He might yet add moments between other ships and develop them (most notably San/Pu of course), but in my opinion the way Oda has added Nami in other potential romantic moments with Sanji it seems Nami is above every other woman so far.

Most importantly I think we have seen: 

Sanji leave Violet who actually seemed to show interest in him to run off to save Nami (and the crew, but the point is that Oda chose to highlight and add this moment with focus on Nami to begin with).

Sanji being more focused on Nami even when Vivi and Robin has been on the ship or at the same place. Oda definitely puts Sanji with Nami above other women at least in amount of moments and involvment.

Sanji being very concerned with Nami in front of Purin and being shown happy with her (the bridal carry for example) and saying he loves her right in front of Purin.

Sanji having stronger reactions to Nami than other women. This could just be my way of seeing it, but I do think we have seen the strongest reactions from Sanji when it comes to Nami. Not the least with turning into a literal devil when he heard she was kidnapped by Absalom. For example compare Sanji rushing after Nami in both Skypiea and Thriller Bark even to him going after Robin. Or his reaction to Nami getting sick in Drum. We simply have a lot of strong reactions from Sanji towards Nami in different ways and more importantly Oda seeming to add focus on them. 

We also have him reacting to things like “women’s tears” or calls but only indicating Nami might be calling him personally. For example Sanji hearing Tashigi cry or saying he trusts Violet or Robin even though they are lying but for Nami adding things like “I think I heard Nami call out for me” or moments like “I leave my Nami to you”. Basically the way Oda writes it there often seems to be added a more personal stake in Sanji’s reactions and moments with Nami compared to with other women.

So from Sanji’s point of view, and the way Oda has written them so far, I think he puts Nami above every other woman. But more importantly, Oda shows us moments between them that he doesn’t add for other ships as consistantly or in romantic looking ways. Keep in mind that both Nami and Sanji are main characters, but they are not Luffy. Oda choosing to not use Luffy (who will obviously have strong moments with all of his nakama, like how he had his own time with Sanji both in Baratie and WCI) for some of these moments but rather insert Sanji or Nami instead for each other’s stories makes it more relevant. Because it’s not an obvious choice in the same way. It’s a choice based on their characters and dynamics within the world, not because of their roles as main hero or heroine. Here are some examples.

1. Their first meeting. Sanji is for the first time seen in love cook mode and he basically seem ready to leave everything behind for Nami. Right away his reaction to Nami is stronger than what we have seen from him and it seems to hold true even with time.

2. SaNa having interest and plot relevance to each other’s back stories. Sanji getting involved with hearing Nami’s back story and saving his sister.  Also, calling her “sister” which indicates a platonic familiarity where he puts Nami above Nojiko romantically (yes, despite flirting some with her). Nami in turn also getting involved and showing interest in Sanji’s backstory, pushing to go with Luffy to save Sanji and being the one to remind us of Sanji’s past and character traits.

3. Sanji getting personally tantalized by using Nami. This has happened several times, the first with Kuroobi in Arlong Park, but also with Mr. 2 in Alabasta, Absalom in Thriller Bark and then in Fishman Island (Zou too, but that wasn’t just Nami) and on Zou. You can check my post (thought not updated fully) Sanji and Nami – Fights and danger for a more detailed view. (Even in movies like Strong World Sanji has a direct talk with Shiki about Nami and it seems most people are aware of Sanji being extra sensitive to Nami.)

4. Sanji asking Nami if she is jealous or if she loves him, indicating again that he is interested to know is she is interested in him. Once even responding “I love you too”. In general Nami responding in these situations in a more “positive way” or Oda showing Sanji interpreting her actions as more romantic. For example the “proposal” or the hug in WCI.

5. Romantic looking moments or themes. Now this is of couse not something that has been done mutually between them and thus aren’t actually romantic scenes. But the tropes and common use for many of the things that Oda has chosen to use for Sanji and Nami are romantic in nature. Of course the two forced marriages are the strongest examples with them rescuing each other from getting married to someone else. But we also have the switch body trope, the slap and of course smaller gestures like the bridal carries or the way Oda drew the hug between them in WCI. I am not saying that SaNa is the only ship with romantic looking moments, because San/Pu And San/Violet obviously has some as well. However, considering the amount SaNa moments and the fact that he has left Violet and Purin in particular for Nami seems to make the SaNa moments trump any other ship. At least for me personally SaNa as it is now and as Oda has portrayed it in comparison to other Sanji ships gets in the way of Sanji ending up with someone else unless Oda starts to make some changes.

I want to make some emphasis on how Nami and Sanji seem to get some “bigger” moments between them in almost every arc. Again, compare this to Sanji with other women, or even Nami with other crew members.

Baratie - Their first meeting and Sanji’s reaction to Nami and interest gets focus. Arlong Park - Sanji shows interest in Nami’s past and Kuroobi mocks Sanji by specfically mentioning Nami. ( Loguetown Arc, Reverse Mountain Arc, Whiskey Peak Arc and Little Garden mostly have small moments, like Sanji asking if Nami is jealous or Sanji giving Nami his jacket.) Drum Island - Nami is sick and we see Sanji worry and care for her and in the end even sacrificing himself for her. Nami worries about him too. Alabasta - Sanji fighting Mr. 2 looking like Nami and lots of small moments like Sanji asking Nami if she loves him.

Jaya - Nami showing interest in Sanji’s back story. Small things like Nami hiding for the bugs behind Sanji or Sanji. Skypiea - Sanji being hell-bent of saving Nami and making the others look for her. Then him saving Nami and Usopp from Enel and Nami being worried in return. (Both times Sanji gets hit by Enel Nami is there and worries.) Then a lot of small moments like him giving her a flower and Nami pulling Sanji’s ear for flirting with Conis. Long Ring Long Land - Nami encourage Sanji be the ball and win, but mostly small moments like Sanji getting annoyed with Aokiji for flirting with Nami or him sitting next to her and trying to kiss her. Water 7 - Sanji leaving his love letter to Nami and Nami being worried for (and impressed with) Sanji. Enies Lobby - Sanji losing against a woman, Nami being understanding and then stepping in to basically revenge him. Also Sanji hearing it as Nami loving him and then him showing up to save Nami and Usopp from Jyabura.

Post-Enies Lobby - Not much, but Sanji stepping in to make Nami and Zoro stop fighting and make Nami understand Zoro’s pov. Thriller Bark - Sanji just being extremely focused on Nami and worried about her throughout the whole arc. Also him getting specifically selected by Luffy to save Nami. Of course the wedding theme with the bridal carry and Sanji’s reaction to Nami. Also Sanji’s Zombie protecting Nami (and later kicking Robin) and his “obsession with Nami” being mentioned. Sabaody Archipelago - Another smaller arc, but we do get Nami worried about Sanji possibly drowning. And smaller moments like Sanji being angry for Nami being put in danger by the Fishman Riders or him telling Franky to take care of Nami as he runs to protect Zoro. When they return we of course also get the nosebleeds, and Sanji daydreaming about Nami’s development.

Fishman Island - Sanji’s reaction to Jinbei and Arlong. Also the fishmen pointing out that Nami might be their weakness due to Sanji’s “over reaction“ to her falling. Punk Hazard - The body swtich, Sanji’s body saving Nami and Sanji being careful with not hurting her etc. Also them working together to save the children, Sanji listening to Nami’s request and saying he loves her more because of her kindness. Also small things like Sanji giving his jacket to Nami again. Dressrosa - Sanji leaving Violet behind to save Nami, insisting that he should be the one to save her and then him getting attacked by Doflamingo and Nami getting worried and not wanting to leave him. Sanji basically tries to sacrifice himself for Nami for the 4th time (Drum, Skypiea x2, also maybe in Thriller Bark). Zou - We get a lot of focus on Nami and Sanji together, and then of course when Sanji is gone Nami is the driving force for his plot. Once again Nami is also used to taunt Sanji (inside Capone). Then Nami is both the one to mention Sanji being from North Blue and to listen to Pekom’s talk about his family. Not to mention her insisting on going with Luffy to WCI and having a fight with Zoro as she defends Sanji. Whole Cake Island - The way she pushes for them to find Sanji, her hapiness when they find him and her hurt and the slap. We even get something like Nami being tantalized with Sanji by both Purin and Brulee. The only strawhat besides Luffy who gets a personal story thread with Sanji and a personal resolution for their conflict is Nami. The tension seems personal and combined with Sanji having another love interest but choosing Nami above her it does seem like Nami is the more natural choice both for Sanji and for Oda. 

There is also a distinct increase in romantic-looking moments between them, with them touching more than ever before.

Wano - Even after WCI it doesn’t seem like Oda is stopping the SaNa moments. Sanji manages to save and carry Nami three times in the beginning of Wano. On top of that we have the bath scene and of course a lot of small moments and mentions between them like Sanji asking Usopp to take care of “My Nami-san” or Sanji jumping in abobe Nami to save her from arrows. 

How many times have we had Sanji be the one to go after Nami or save her? By his own choice, by being the one present or even by Luffy asking Sanji to go. Oda puts Sanji next to Nami a lot, and I think it’s possible he might be doing it for a reason.

Who knows what we might get, but the fact that we have as much as we do really seems to show Oda having a preference to put them together in various ways.

The point is they have a lot of time and moments dedicated to them from Oda despite them both being secondary characters. At this point it’s possible Sanji is the person Nami has moments with the most in the story besides Luffy (and perhaps Usopp) as they often end up together. Of course this is including them thinking about and talking about each other as well, and not just direct interacting. For example counting the body switch and Nami being worried and focused on Sanji while on Zou. Oda doesn’t have to, but he has chosen to write it like this. On top of that he adds romantic interest from Sanji and romantic looking moments between them.

I could go on, and there are plenty of moments and examples to find between Nami and Sanji that are interesting to look a bit deeper at. You can check out my Masterpost - SanjiAFsincedayone for some of them. But as it is now here are the main points for why I think SaNa at least has a bigger chance to happen than other ships with the two of them as it is now.

One-sided attraction and romantic interest from Sanji’s side that needs to be resolved in one way or another.

Nami seems special to Sanji. Even small things like only using -san for her and -chan for others is a detail that makes her stand out to him.

Great involvement in each other’s stories. Oda likes adding Sanji and Nami in moments together both for interaction and explenation about each other. For example Sanji is also often used to save Nami.

Interactions of understanding and changing dynamics between the two, like them compromising for each other or wanting to know about the other’s past. Matching personalities and a possible future.

Romantic themes and moments, mainly the weddings, but also the amount of times Sanji has saved Nami and things like the hug being drawn in a very romantic looking way with Nami being more focused on.

Tension and urgency. This is basically Sanji and Nami having a lot of focus on each other in dire situations and Oda showing it with specific mentions.

So, to summarize, I like Sanji and Nami both as indvidual characters and together. I enjoy them as a ship and to explore their dynamics in a romantic way no matter what they might end up as in the story. Anyone should be able to respect that people have different preferences. Additionally I think and speculate that they would work well and could happen in the manga as well. This is obviously a biased interpretation and opinion. 

I might be wrong, but you should be able to respect that too as we have yet to get anything objectivly confirming any ship. We don’t know if any ship with end up canon at all. Maybe Sanji and Nami will remain a ship that never becomes canon, but even so they are a ship that is definitely worth enjoying.

I hope you found this post interesting and can enjoy your own ship and fandom while also seeing that it’s ok for others to like something different than you. Thanks for reading.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 25, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Holy crap, Episode 25! We’re halfway through! *Cue Bon Jovi*

Hunt Invitation

After taking a nice long break to watch Word of Honor pick lotus pods, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli return to stressing over the shitshow that is the post-Sunshot cultivation world. Jin Zixuan has come to invite them to the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, with a special invitation from his mother to Jiang Yanli. Jiang Cheng reacts to this in a mature and reasonable manner, while Wei Wuxian...doesn't.

On the surface, Jiang Cheng has matured in recent months; much more than Wei Wuxian, with his secret burdens, has. But it's only on the surface, as we'll see later in the episode, when Jiang Cheng's insecurity will take the reins.

Jin Zixuan is adorably pleased by Jiang Yanli's acceptance of the invitation. Wei Wuxian is less pleased, but sort of tries to suck it up. 

Jin Zixuan kind of undercuts the romance of his errand by asking Wei Wuxian for the Yin tiger amulet as soon as Jiang Yanli is out of earshot. 

As always, Jin Zixuan makes an impression by being the best Jin currently in existence, but the Jins are terrible. JZX is working to advance his dad's ambitions, and as such he is currently Wei Wuxian's enemy.  

(more after the cut)

Opening Ceremonies

There's a bunch of cultivators arranged for the opening ceremony. Later someone will say that this is more than 5 thousand people. Ok, sure.

As I've said before, it's best to think of it like a theatre production and assume the other 4,900 people are offstage or, you know, painted on the backdrop.  

The young lead cultivators from the four main clans are standing together. Nie Huaisang is trying out some new body armor.

The clan leaders are seated up on the stage, along with Jin Furen and Jiang Yanli. Unfortunately Jin Furen doesn't seem to have a personal name that I can discover. Her title Fūrén ( 夫人)  means she's the primary wife of the head of the family, according to this excellent meta. 

So “Madame Jin” is a decent translation...if you're French?  I feel like instead of English subtitles including borrowed words from French (”Marquis” in NIH), Greek (”Water of Lethe” in WOH), and other European languages, we could try borrowing Chinese words instead. Jin Zixuan's mom is titled, not named, Jin Furen. Since we don’t know her actual name, I'll call her that and abbreviate it JFR.

Wei Wuxian's childishness continues at the opening of the hunt, as does Jiang Yanli's encouragement of his childishness. I know she's had a rough couple of years, and it's understandable to want to baby her little brother out of a sense of nostalgia. But it's not good for him, and she shouldn't do it; she should encourage him to be more mature, just as she does with Jiang Cheng.

War Crimes Contest

Jin Guangyao says they're going to have an archery competition, and they're going to liven it up by endangering some prisoners. These prisoners are Wens in Wen cultivator uniforms, meaning they're not the noncombatants that were being hunted down earlier. But they’re still helpless people in chains. 

There are three different reactions when the Wen prisoners are brought out.  All the Jins are pleased, or neutral. All of the Jiangs, including Wei Wuxian, are upset.

The Nies and the Lans, what we see of them, are a little shocked, but not obviously upset. Based on those reactions, it seems like this is a maneuver that in-world is considered shocking and cruel, but not necessarily unethical or immoral.  Shocking, cruel displays of power are pretty normal in this world; remember when Wen Chao lit a Lan cultivator on fire just to say hello, and nobody complained? 

This whole scenario, of course, has been designed to provoke Wei Wuxian. One major goal of this event, and the whole reason for wanting Wei Wuxian to come,  is to get the Yin Tiger amulet.  Making him lose his shit in front of 100 5000 cultivators is a good step toward compelling him to hand the amulet over.  

We see Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli both signaling Wei Wuxian to keep it together, and he takes a step back and tries to chill.  

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan seems annoyed by all this, and goes to take a shot at it, making it clear from his demeanor that this is easy and JGY is making a show of nothing. 

He hovers in the air and makes a perfect shot, pleasing most of the crowd and impressing Jiang Yanli. 

Then his cousin Jin Zixun taunts the crowd, challenging anyone to do better.  This presents a bit of a problem for Wei Wuxian. For the sake of the Wen prisoners, Wei Wuxian should just take this taunting and let the contest end, if no-one else is willing to take a shot. But for the sake of the Jiang Clan’s status, and his continued control of the Yin Tiger amulet, he needs to put the Jins in their place.  

Every Day is Blindfold Day

This moral dilemma is resolved with an abrupt tonal shift, where the humanitarian concerns of all parties seem to vanish. Wei Wuxian flirts embarrassingly with Lan Wangji and then goes as far over the top in besting Jin Zixuan as it's possible to go.

The flirting hits differently, incidentally, when you edit Jiang Cheng's annoyed reaction out of it: 

Lan Wangji doesn't seem embarrassed by Wei Wuxian's request, despite it happening in front of 100 5000 of their fellow cultivators. He looks Wei Wuxian straight in the eye for longer than necessary before turning away; it’s not exactly stern disapproval. We’ll get very used to this look, in Wei Wuxian’s second life. 

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian carries a blindfold with him wherever he goes, (gifset here), and he is such a good cultivator he can hit 5 parallel targets simultaneously without even holding his bow straight or tightening the string.

(OP fixed the angle of the bow for this gif, which is why everyone is standing on a hill in the background).

Everyone is pleased by this shot except Jins Guangyao and Zixun; even the Jin cultivators are clapping, and Madame Jin is presumably this happy any time Jin Guangyao’s plans go wrong.

With that they start the hunt. Jin Zixun challenges Wei Wuxian to do the whole hunt blindfolded. Wei Wuxian agrees, but the censorship committee said no, apparently, so we don’t get to see that.

Flute Hunting

We do get to see Wei Wuxian luring monsters into his nets by being too sexy for his robe, too sexy for his robe, and playing the flute.  

We also get to see Jiang cultivators looking puzzled while random monster roars happen in the woods around them. We do not get to see any monsters, which is probably just as well.

Jiang Cheng is annoyed and concerned, muttering "I told you not to overdo it" which means he didn't, you know, tell Wei Wuxian NOT to do this, just not to do it quite so well. Jiang Cheng knows what Wei Wuxian’s abilities are and he is making use of him, as he should, but he doesn’t have the courage of his convictions. 

Tree Confession

Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji and starts to say hi, but then he has a desaturated flashback to Lan Xichen telling him to back off, so he stops himself.  But then Lan Wangji comes over to talk to him.

Lan Wangji starts off talking to him about his latest anti-resentment musical discoveries, and Wei Wuxian pushes back, even calling him Lan Wangji, but gently.  Wei Wuxian asks "who am I to you?" and Lan Wangji turns the question right back at him, then waits a looooooong time, eyes downcast, while Wei Wuxian thinks of a serious answer.

Wei Wuxian says "I used to treat you as my zhījǐ" --which, as we’ve discussed before, is variously translated soulmate, confidant, intimate friend--with a strong meaning of "the person who truly knows me." Lan Wangji says "I still am." Coming from Lan Wangji, who NEVER says how he feels about Wei Wuxian or about anything, really, this sounds a lot like a confession of love. 

It definitely takes the form, visually, of a love confession, as Lan Wangji speaks, then gazes at Wei Wuxian while he waits for a reply.  Wei Wuxian's reply is this:

I don't think Wei Wuxian is oblivious (I'm speaking strictly of CQL, not MZDS, as always with these posts; they are different works). I think he loves Lan Wangji back, and knows it. But Chenqing and everything it represents are between them.

Lan Wangji is quite literally NOT his zhījǐ any more, because he doesn't truly know Wei Wuxian right now. He loves him desperately, but he doesn't know about his core, and hasn't accepted his cultivation method.  So Wei Wuxian answers his confession by showing him Chenqing, effectively declining to accept his still-conditional love.

Snake Measuring

Next we get terrible hetero courtship in the form of Jin Zixuan finding snake discharge on the ground and talking to Jiang Yanli about comparative snake measuring. Seriously: that is the actual conversation that they are having.

Jin Zixuan boasts for a bit, and then awkwardly tries to ask Jiang Yanli on a date. When she turns him down he gets mad, because he's a typical heterosexual dude even though he's secretly a delightful person...very, very secretly. Jiang Yanli, for her part, can't string a fucking sentence together to save her life whenever he's around, so she's not helping their mutual understanding. 

Lan Wangji attempts to hold Wei Wuxian back from beating Jin Zixuan’s ass yet again, but eventually JYL wants to leave, JZX tells her to wait, and WWX intervenes. Why doesn't Jiang Yanli have a maid or Jiang cultivator with her while she's on a date, incidentally? These kids are confused about whether they're doing feudal patriarchy or whether they're doing modern social life.

Jin vs. Jiang

Wei Wuxian jumps in between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, which JZX objects to. Jin Zixuan has no fucking business objecting and Wei Wuxian is 100% right, at this point. As soon as WWX shows up JZX should hand her off to her Shidi, bow, and leave her the fuck alone. Instead, he draws his sword on Wei Wuxian, and kind of on Jiang Yanli since she's right behind Wei Wuxian.  Fortunately, Lan Wangji blocks him. 

This instantly blows up into a Jiang-Jin Clan conflict, with Jiang Cheng unfortunately absent since he let his unmarried sister go off in the woods alone with the son of the Cultivaton world's most famous lecher. It looks like it’s a personal conflict, but since Jin Zixuan already told Wei Wuxian directly that Jin Guangshan wants his amulet, any arguments between them are part of a larger power struggle. 

Cousin Jin Zixun comes running up to start shit. Wei Wuxian pretends--I am SURE he's pretending--not to know who he is. The dude hassles Wei Wuxian every time he sees him; Wei Wuxian is a troll, and right now CJXZ is butting in to something that doesn't concern him. Rather than argue, Wei Wuxian insults him by telling him he’s not memorable.

Jin Furen shows up with several maids and cultivator dudes in tow, which is the proper way for a highborn woman to wander around in the woods. She also brings Clan Leader Yao, because if it's Wei Wuxian Blaming Hours, Yao is going to be there.  

I initially found the deep friendship between superhot Yi Zuyuan and dumpy Jin Furen implausible, but then I remembered that my lifelong bestie is a smokin' hot redhead with impeccable fashion sense, while I am a roly-poly nerd.  Friends don’t always match. Also, Jin Furen's actress, Hu Xiaoting, looks like this: 

...so she is actually hot in real life. Not as hot as Zhang Jingtong (who plays Yu Ziyuan) but literally nobody is as hot as Zhang Jingtong. Don't @ me, you know I'm right.

This is a heck of a long scene, so we’ll pick it up in part two! 

Soundtrack: Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Writing prompt: Newly-divorced, cold-hearted CEO Yu Ziyuan buys an apartment next door to newly-divorced, warm-hearted pastry chef ...uhh let's call her Jin Dàngāo (蛋糕), sure. She can name her business after herself. 

They discover their daughter & son are in the same college class, and so they meet up over coffee....several times...trying to matchmake their hopeless, hapless kids, while bonding over their own terrible (former) taste in husbands. Who will Cupid strike first, the kids or the moms?

[0poole]

I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it. 

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all. 

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness. 

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists. 

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It’s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor. 

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally. 

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one. 

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start. 

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with. 

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too. 

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time. 

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

[thyon-nero]

So. How do you feel about the litjoy crate strange the dreamer collection? The art with the setting and places is beautiful, and I love the miracle for breakfast art. On the other... the characters just look... a bit white? All the godspawn has a POC parent... no way they all look Eurocentric. Idk. I feel like I will regret not collecting it, but I already have the books and it seems kinda a waste...

Hi! Thanks for sending this in—I didn’t know that litjoy was making a Strange the Dreamer collection so thank you for bringing it to my attention. And sorry for taking so long to respond! I had quite a bit to say and wanted to make sure that my thoughts were at least a little coherent. Since tumblr doesn’t like links in posts, I’ll be dropping the litjoy link in the replies for people to see what we’re talking about. Also, to the anon who sent this in, I’ll be using the generic pronoun “you” to talk to everyone reading this, so don’t feel like I’m calling you out specifically!

Your ask brings up several good points for discussion that I’m going to try and apply to a broader conversation. Namely, the whitewashing in art and consumerism in the book community. I’m only one perspective so please feel free to continue this conversation in a respectful way: if there’s one thing that Strange the Dreamer should have taught us, it’s that only through communication and understanding can we resolve conflict.

First of all: the Eurocentrism in the art. I’m not sure what policies are for reposting the art on a separate site, so I’d encourage everyone to look on the litjoy website to see it for themselves.

Is the art beautiful? Yes. Does it depict characters canonically described as brown with Eurocentric features? Also yes.

Although Weep is a fictional place, we can still fairly easily draw some parallels between the people of Weep and real world people and cultures. Off the top of my head, @readingbooksinisrael made a post (linked in replies) noticing how the words at the beginning of each chapters sounded Semitic, @inkwingart created incredible artwork of Sarai (linked in replies) without the Eurocentric features of the official art, rightfully calling out the differences between how the characters are described and how some artists choose to depict them, and I’m sure that others have spoken on this as well.

Despite the written portrayal of the people of Weep and godspawn as non-white, it’s easy for artists to avoid depicting them with non-Eurocentric features and only use blue skin as a defining feature.

Within the broader art community, I’ve seen conversations on how to depict characters of different racial and ethnic backgrounds without just changing the skin color and keeping all of the other features identical. Some art styles (typically more cartoony and stylized) definitely do draw all characters with the same face and rely on clothing, hair, and other distinctive characteristics to tell them apart. But this isn’t really enough. When artists provide enough detail to show Eurocentric features but consider using a different shade of brown (or in this case, blue) to be “enough” in terms of drawing diversely, they aren’t hitting the mark.

Ultimately there is no “right” way to visually depict these characters. However, I would encourage artists to think deeper about their designs and question why they chose certain features for certain characters, and if these features are consistent with the source material. I’d like to give the artists involved with the litjoy crate the benefit of the doubt and assume that they weren’t thinking about the implications of their art erasing the godspawn’s brown heritage, but unless any of them have made a statement, I think it’s up to everyone to decide for themselves whether these portrayals are worth supporting.

(That being said, I do adore the landscapes! It’s incredible to see these magical places brought to life. Highly, highly recommend looking at the art just for that!)

I also want to talk a bit about consumerism within the book community and whether this set is worth it, especially if you already own the books. Please keep in mind that I don’t intend this as a callout for anyone or a be-all-end-all for this discussion. My thoughts are my own and do not affect how you spend your money!

Personally, I’m not the sort of person who buys more than one copy of a book. With my current living situation, I don’t have infinite room for books and I (tragically) don’t have the money to buy every beautiful book I see! Although I only own Strange the Dreamer and not Muse of Nightmares, I still won’t be buying this collection because I know that the second copy of Strange the Dreamer will just be collecting dust on my bookshelf and taking up space from other books that I don’t already own copies of.

As of writing this (March 14, 2021) preorders haven’t opened yet so I don’t know how expensive this set is, but if you don’t already have the books and want them, this looks like a great set that’s definitely worth looking in to! However, and here’s where I circle back to your point about regretting not collecting it, I personally don’t think it’s worth buying just for the sake of collecting everything to do with this series.

If owning these editions will make you happy in the long term and you have the resources to purchase them, go for it. I think it’s important to remember though that regardless of which editions you own or whether you’ve read the books through your public library, you still have the story. This world and these characters will always exist in your mind! That being said, I think a lot of people within the book community look to special editions, different cover art, and other merch as a way to become closer to the stories that we love. Even though these may offer new visuals or (in some cases) deleted scenes and extra written material, they don’t change the fundamental story. The experience of reading these stories doesn’t depend on owning special editions. Ultimately, if you’re buying multiple copies of a book, you’re pretty much only paying for the experience of having a pretty cover on your shelves. There’s nothing wrong with that (I know I’ve been guilty of paying extra for a slightly prettier cover!) but that’s the only thing you’re missing out on when you don’t buy these editions.

Especially with the rise of BookTube and Bookstagram as ways of seeing what other readers’ shelves look like, I’ve noticed people putting more stock into what others own as opposed to what they’ve read. Although not perpetrated by everyone in the community, there is some pressure to own all of your favorite books and have the fanciest editions to show just how much of a fan you are, when ultimately that doesn’t mean anything. The person who owns every special edition and the person who checked out their library’s copy can both love the story just as much. We as readers shouldn’t have to “prove” our loyalty to different stories or authors to enjoy them. It’s perfectly alright to not own your favorite books or everything by your favorite author! It’s the experience of reading these stories that brings us together as a community, not the experience of buying everything relating to these stories.

All that being said, it’s still a personal decision whether you want to buy these editions or not. Do what brings you joy! And if that’s owning these books, more power to you. If anyone wants to chime in with more thoughts on the artwork or whether these copies are worth buying, I’d love to discuss it further and have an open discussion. We all have different perspectives and can learn so much from each other through respectful conversation.

[curiosity-killed]

evidence of a lost past part 2

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cw: body image

Drawing in a deep breath, Xie Lian slowly lifts his gaze from his toes up to meet his eyes in the mirror. Jun Wu always said that the foundation of art came from knowing yourself. Knowing what you could or could not do, what would be real and what would be artifice when it moved through you. 

He’d turn it into a game, almost, a pop quiz: how many freckles did Xie Lian have, which of his arches was higher than the other, which finger always dipped lower than the rest when he extended his arms. When Xie Lian answered too quickly or made an error, he’d raise one eyebrow in silent question and Xie Lian would always flush, embarrassed by his own mistake. Now, he looks in the mirror and tries to make sense of what he sees.

 He’s grown since he left the company, just an inch or so in height, but his shoulders are broader and chest thicker than when he was a seventeen-year-old standing at the barre. His hair’s longer, too, bundled up in messy bun at his nape that will fall out the moment he tries a pirouette. After leaving, after his parents, he’d cut off all his hair one night in a fit of pique. If he was done dancing, then let all of it be done, he’d thought. He’d wanted to scrub away every notion of the life he’d lost out of his identity, remake himself into some new mask and character. In the eight years since then, it’s grown long again and brushes the middle of his back when it’s loose. He rocks back into his heels and then forward onto the balls of his feet, flexing his toes so that the polka dots on the soles peek out. His old head teacher had rules about warm-ups; Jun Wu had guidance. At the school, warm-ups were permitted until pliés as long as they were not overly baggy or distracting. For the girls, they’d been allowed to put on legwarmers in pointe but only for the first three exercises. If you needed warm-ups past that, Master Mei had always said, it meant you were injured and shouldn’t be dancing at all but sitting by the front and resting. Years removed from the studio, Xie Lian could now see that rule for the protection it was: chiding students to check in with their bodies and recognize when they needed to stop pushing and let them rest. Back then, it had seemed the worst kind of weakness to sit by the mirrors at the front of the studio and watch everyone else dance. He can still remember passing by the student lounge between classes one Saturday and catching Jian Lan tucked into a corner of a couch, clutching her ankle like she was holding it together with her hands alone. Once he’d joined the company, when Jun Wu took him under his wing, he’d learned a new side to those rules. “At this level, someone is always watching,” Jun Wu had confided during lunch once. “It’s important to present the best version of yourself.” He hadn’t ever said Xie Lian shouldn’t wear soft socks and ripstop pants, but there had been a quiet disappointment to his expression when Xie Lian mentioned it. It felt less like a reprimand and more like he’d offered Xie Lian something special and lofty, advice a gift chosen specifically for Xie Lian—and Xie Lian had been too young and naïve to appreciate it. He’d stuck with his leggings and tailored white jacket with the gold trim after that. Now, he rolls his shoulders under a t-shirt he got for volunteering a hundred hours one summer and the flannel he’d considered a victory at a dollar fifty. Probably, he should shed them both and face himself fully. Even Master Mei would scold him for trying to dance in such baggy clothing. It was too easy to cheat, to relax his abs and sway his back and hide all sorts of sins. His stomach rolls at the thought, choking up high in his throat. He can’t remember the last time he’d taken his shirt off in front of anyone, and he shies away from doing it now where he’d have to see himself. It’s fine. He’s only messing around. The thought is a foreign one, but he clings to it. He’s not really dancing, not really trying to do anything. He knows he’s not a dancer anymore, that he turned his back on that life eight years ago. He’s just—he’s just fooling around in an empty studio with no one watching. Exhaling, he turns his back to the mirror. There’s a stereo system built into a cabinet, and it only takes a few minutes of fumbling before he gets his phone hooked up and the Spotify commercial blares through the speakers in each corner. Wincing, he spins the volume knob down till it’s almost silent and hunts around for some playlist. “It’s just dancing,” he mumbles to himself as he walks away to the opening strains of some delicate instrumental melody. Just—play. In the center of the room, he settles into a parallel second and closes his eyes, listening. The piano tiptoes through the harmony, delicate soprano notes like tiny silver bells, but over and through it, the strings ache and murmur. He sways to it at first, rolling through the pads of his toes and shifting languidly on his hips. His right arm lifts with the strings, elbow first, and unfurls to the quiet plea of the cello. Collapsing to the left, he brings his body around in a low arc to swing up his left leg to devant, foot flexed. The music is loud enough to wash away thoughts of the past or of anyone walking in. It sweeps around him, cradles his limbs and pulls his body into motion. He thinks fleetingly of Hua Cheng, of the easy way he caught on to each combination and stretched and bent it to his own shapes. Spinning through a pencil turn, he freezes to the side and draws into a balance at the top of his demi-pointe, a precarious perch suspended only by the counterbalance of his extended leg. The last time he danced was in a posh little studio where all the windows looked out over the city. It had mostly catered to children with a few advanced students who were set to fly off to new companies any day. His skin had itched under their curious, disdainful eyes, and his ears had filled with imaginary whispers of what they might think of a him. A failure, Icarus floundering in the sea and thinking he could still kiss the sky with his sodden, melted wings. There is no one watching here. Alone in the studio, he skates across the grey floor and leaps without thinking of falling. When he falls out of a shoulder roll he saw Shi Qingxuan do effortlessly in their class the other week, he drops to his back and laughs, breathless, up at the ceiling. He doesn’t know how many songs have played, but sweat prickles his hairline and sticks his shirt to his back. There’s a pleasant burn in his hips and in the skin of his feet after he kicked his socks off to better feel the floor. Breathing in, he lets the laughter bubble through his chest as he sinks into the familiar marley panel. “Fuck,” he says and then laughs at the sound of it in his voice. Rolling up, he drops his elbows to his knees and leans forward to rake a hand back through his hair and draw out the tie still clinging desperately to the ends it. This time, he braids it back tight against his skull and secures the ends with the ponytail. There was a phrase somewhere in the middle there—a low lunge with weight shifts into a turn—he wants to tease out, play with. He ties off the braid and shrugs out of the flannel that’s starting to get over-warm across his back. Grinning, he pulls himself up and starts again.

[fourletterworld]

Chapter 1 - Is this Real? Was a Big Brother

I had a dream where I was laying on my back in a monorail, watching telephone poles pass by through the windows as I stared at distant clouds. I can't remember what lead to this scenario, but I soon heard Cody's voice speaking to me from no particular location. It was as gentle and near as ordinary conversation, yet I never saw his face.

"Dust?" he called out, questioning, as though this connection was as strange to him as it was to me.  

I remember calling back excitedly; the incredible apathy I had been feeling during this point in time evaporated. I felt pure like I was a kid, as I immediately entered into a long conversation with him, asking him things he couldn't explain.

"What do things look like where you are?" I'd asked, and I could tell he had a semblance of an answer, but I imagined he didn't want to invalidate anything with words. Cody often wouldn't explain something for fear of not doing it justice. I fear putting our conversation into true dialogue for the same reason.

I remember asking if he was okay, which he said he was with certainty and positivity. The majority of our conversation faded in the mist where most of my dreams fall behind, but I recall clearly that his voice was light like it had never been in life. It had an intoxicated enthusiasm, but with absolute clarity of emotion and speech. It felt, to me, like he'd become the man he was supposed to be. The man he would have been had the pangs of chemical torture never got such a grip on his brain.

Cody had mental problems throughout his whole life. When he was young his ears would burn red hot and he would go into hysterical fits of laughter that would bleed into crying. He had a lot of allergic reactions that affected him emotionally, and he always had a hard time focusing and sitting still. When we were kids, I recall many times sitting next to him in restaurants, where he would get agitated toward the end of the meal. He'd lay back on a booth and start bicycle kicking me. The age gap made it unfair for me to fight back, and so I resorted to needling him: like asking him if other kids in his school looked like old women or if it was only him. He'd try to mask a grin with an evil expression, and then sit upright to throw body punches. I'd laugh and try to grab his wrists, while my Mom tried to yell at us from across the table. If my Dad was ever there, he'd make the ordeal into a scene which would embarrass my mom, scare the shit out of Cody and I, and promptly put a stop to the nonsense.

The psychological abuse I retaliated with was just as unfair as hitting back, but in 2019 before Cody passed we talked about this over phone. Cody told me I was always such a bastard growing up, but he always thought the shit I said was funny, and he attributed this to our unified sense of humor.

I didn't usually make fun of him though. I was really sympathetic most of the time, and he knew he could come to me when he was having problems. I think about one time in particular. Cody was eleven years old and he knocked on my bedroom door. When I let him in he was shaken like he wanted to cry and I was immediately alarmed.  

“What’s wrong Codes? Are you okay?” I thought maybe he’d gotten hurt, but what he told me dazed me momentarily and took me a second to grasp.

He said he was laying on his back and started thinking about what life is. He was stricken with rudimentary existential questions, like why are we here, and what is life, and is life even real? When I say these are rudimentary questions, I don't mean at all that the experience of these questions are uncomplicated... They are vast and overwhelming to deal with if you are emotionally invested and living them, and Jesus Christ, especially if you are eleven years old and afraid of things as simple as being kidnapped.  

Though, I didn’t understand that at the time. I was having trouble understanding how something theoretical could bring you to tears. I could wrap my head around what he was telling me easy enough, but it was the difference between someone explaining free falling from an airplane or actually being the person that jumps from the hatch. I think a lot of people who discuss things philosophically forget that understanding the premise of something existential isn't the same as living through it, and when Cody was explaining this to me, I was still years from experiencing anything similar myself, and still, to a lesser degree than I believe he had.

I listened to what he told me, and amidst my concern, I kept thinking about what a special brain he had. This was before he started experimenting with drugs, so all of his thoughts were uninfluenced in that way. I mean, I can't stress it enough, the kid was eleven. I don’t think I had an unprovoked thought until I was in my twenties. I still can't decide if whatever unlocks these intense ideas about the human condition comes from the imagination or some kind of fucked up rationale... The same kind of rationale that comes to the conclusion to put a gun to your head to erase all the anguish.

It is sick to say, but I imagined him dying prematurely many times before he did. He was tremendously encumbered by life, but rather than to become sluggish and uninspired, Cody was restless, which I correctly considered to be a terrifying combination.

After high school, I had moved away to Oregon for less than two years, in an effort to continue a relationship that hadn't been working. During this time Cody began to drink and smoke pot regularly. We talked on the phone often, and he subtly told me what he was getting up to, and I felt worried about him. I was selfishly torn between being his friend and being a good older brother. I was also selfishly torn between being a hypocrite and being a good older brother.

One day, my friend went to his then girlfriend's mom's house, who had a younger sister Cody was friends with. Fourteen-year-old Cody was passed out on the front lawn in the middle of the day next to patch of his vomit. My friend called me and warned me about this situation, and it was at this point I told my Mom. Neither she nor I controlled the situation at all.  

Oddly enough, this friend that discovered him on the lawn was also the same friend that discovered his body on the dirt road after he had overdosed. He was called to the scene as an EMT, on a day which he was randomly working in the area when he shouldn't have been. This coincidence is maddening to me, as though God or the Universe or whatever is saying that it meant to happen... But usually when you think of things meaning to happen, the unifying idea is supposed to bring you peace, but to me, it was a slap in my face that I deserve. To me, it was only meant to be because I didn't stop this from going off the tracks when I was warned first. It's a strange and fucked up parallel I can't get out of my head. Then sometimes I think, is any of this even real or am I drawing spiteful lines between a meaningless constellation?

When my Mom and I were in the hospital, we discussed his addiction problems at length to a doctor as we sat by Cody's bed. The Doctor then asked, knowing the answer, "You never put him into a rehabilitation program?" He looked at me. His eyes and tone brimmed with sympathy, but his question was built without any emotional integrity. Though, being a guilty human being, I did get casted with shame, but additionally swelled with momentary rage at the doctor’s useless blame. I was very close to cruelly criticizing the doctor, and had I been a person that indulged in self-gratifying drama, I would have.  I instead didn't answer the question, but my Mom did, and it hurt her, because the answer was, of course, no.

I then apologetically kissed his forehead. I remembered smelling his oily hair, and I then cried onto his rough hand, holding it and hoping it would miraculously squeeze mine back, but of course it never did. I'm still there each day in disbelief. I've personally experienced this and it still feels like someone had to explain it to me.

So, I'm lying on my back in the monorail in my dream, and I look up and say into the nothing, "Cody I want to hug you", and all he could do was say "I love you Dust".

So I said, "Cody, how do I know and of this is real?" and he replied with something meaningless, and I woke up.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 309

THE SHAPE OF THE UNIVERSE: Part 2

HUBBEL'S LAW

The most surprising discovery of the twentieth century was made by Edwin Hubble in 1929: The universe is not static, but is in a state of rapid expansion. Based upon his observations, he stated Hubble's Law: Other galaxies are receding from us, the rate at which they recede depends upon their distance, and there is a constant ratio (the Hubble constant) between their velocity and their distance from us.

This law's most dramatic consequence is what it tells about how we got to where we are now. If distances between galaxies increase as we look toward the future, they must decrease as we go back in time. Each ring of galaxies must have been closer to us in the past; the further away (or back in time) we go, the closer they would have been, and the faster they appear to be moving toward us.

Hubbel's evidence was limited to a few relatively nearby galaxies. Over the years, however, thousands of observations extended and refined the measurements, and confirmed the general correctness of the velocity-distance relation. Current best estimates are that those galaxies are a billion light-years away (a light-year is roughly 6 trillion miles). Assuming that light always travels at the same speed, those galaxies must have been 1/20 of a light-year closer to us each year in the past. To have ended up a billion light years away, they must have started at exactly the same point as we did "the Big Bang" some 20 billion years ago.

Let's start by using concentric rings of galaxies at intervals of a billion light-years. Then there are 20 rings, because five rings from us represents galaxies 5 billion light-years distant from us. To see them, we need to see their light that has been traveling for 5 billion years. Thus, we now see their position 5 billion years ago. As there was nothing 20 billion years ago, the outmost ring must the twentieth ring. This might sound paradoxical, as the circles of galaxies seem to grow larger as they move further away from us. However, the paradox is only apparent. Assuming Earth is in the South Pole and that the rings are a sphere's latitudes, the rings become larger by the Equator and then become smaller until, in the twentieth ring, we reach the North Pole. This time, the rings are spheres and thus fit in the hypersphere. So Hubble's Law supports our model of hypersphere for the universe.

But how can an expanding universe fit into our picture? In the sphere, the whole surface is expanding, just like inflating a balloon. So the distance from us (at Earth) to the Big Bang is increasing in all directions. In other words, any two points in the universe recede from each other, just as any two points on the balloon recede from each other during inflation.

THE ISSUE OF TIME

So far, we have considered the universe's shape at a fixed time. But, in physics, it is useful to consider space and time together. After Einstein's brilliant publications about special relativity, Hermann Minkowski (1864-1909) proposed a very useful four-dimensional space-time model as the fabric of the physical universe. In a global picture, each fixed time represents a thin slice of space-time. Like an onion, each layer (assuming there are infinite very thin layers) corresponds to the universe at different fixed times. Given that each fixed time is a hypersphere, the layers are hyperspheres. According to Hubble's Law, the hypersphere becomes larger as time passes. Just like an onion, the inner layers are smaller and the outer layers are larger.

In an ordinary onion, the layers are usually spheres; in the universe, the layers are hyperspheres. Assuming that the outer-most slice represents the universe at this time, the space-time "so far" is a four-dimensional onion, with layers of the universe at different times. The center of this "onion" corresponds to the Big Bang. We receive the picture of space-time until "this time." Now, let mathematics predict the future of the space-time, just as Newton's laws allowed a detailed description of the solar system's future course. As time evolves, the universe expands, distances between galaxies grow, and gravity weakens. Thus, the space-time curvature diminishes and successive hyperspheres grow at a slower rate.

Two possibilities emerge: The hyperspheres continue to grow indefinitely, although at an ever-decreasing rate, or reach a maximum size and start to contract, in exactly the same fashion as the parallels of latitude on Earth: starting at the North Pole, growing until they reach their maximum size at the Equator, and then begin contracting toward the South Pole. If the universe contracts, distances between galaxies would decrease, gravity and curvature would increase, and the successive hyperspheres would shrink ever faster, eventually contracting into a single point: the "Big Crunch."

We could then draw a map of the universe as a succession of hyperspheres growing in size for during the first half of its life and contracting during the second half. All space-time would then form a kind of super-hypersphere a four-dimensional object known as a "four-dimensional sphere."

CONCLUSION

At a fixed time, the universe should be a hypersphere. When the time dimension is added, space-time should be super-hypersphere, with a "Big Bang" like the South Pole, each fixed time of the universe corresponding to the parallels, and finally a "Big Crunch" corresponding to the North Pole in our space-time model.

Almost everybody has heard that time is the fourth dimension. Even though this concept is easy to imagine, people find it hard to understand because of its mystification by science popularizers. We live in three-dimensional space. This means that I can parameterize the universe such that I can describe any point in it by using just three letters (a, b, c).

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: The Greatest Kingdom

Hello, glorious RWBY fandom! It’s that time of the year again. No, not the holidays. Rather, it’s the roughly twelve weeks where my Saturdays are lost to the void of churning out 4,000+ words of typo-laden analysis for our favorite web-series. Does that sound like a good time? If so, stick around and keep reading.

Now, those of you who joined us last year will recall that I took issue with numerous aspects of Volume Six. Many of you are capable of summarizing these aspects in great detail considering that the conversation never stopped on my blog between January 26th and, well, today. But for those of you who don’t otherwise suffer my metas or who might be joining us for the first time, here’s a very short guide to the stuff we’ve been chatting about the last few months:

Holy shit they really went all in on dragging Ozpin, huh?

Is the group part of a collective consciousness now? What happened to diverse thinking?

Should un-licensed teenagers steal military property and start grimm-drawing battles with national allies? No or double no?

We hate adults? Is that really a thing?

When will Oscar’s on-screen development come back from the war?

There are numerous, numerous other connected topics, from Rooster Teeth’s handling of physical assault all the way to theories regarding the relic’s potential influence and Jinn’s motives, but that’s the basic gist. Oh, and we now have a subset of the fandom who got big mad over fans headcanoning trans!Nora based on her new color scheme. ... So that’s where we’re starting this volume off.

Just so we’re all on the same page:

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Anyhoo, with that bare-bones context out of the way, let’s dive in.

We begin, as usual, with a shot of the shattered moon. Except this is the first volume where we know precisely what happened to it and all it may mean for humanity. It lends a certain amount of gravitas to our start. Now, rather than the more generic, “Ah. Right. That motif. Still a mystery, huh?” shots of the moon function as a quick reminder of the group’s new stakes. 99% of the time the focus is on Salem and our heroes’ attempts to keep this genocidal dictator from destroying and/or enslaving the entire world, but “The Lost Fable” set up that the true, end-game antagonists have always been the gods. Even if Salem is destroyed, they still exist as a continued threat to humanity. If they wish to use the gods to help them in their quest against Salem, they likewise risk their judgment. Having introduced them, that’s a tricky problem the show is going to have to solve before its end.

For now though we pan down to the Atlas military, numerous ships and lots of chatter over the radio setting up precisely how massive, organized, and deadly this army is. I would like to remind everyone that this is what the group deliberately decided to piss off by not merely stealing an airship, but unnecessarily attacking the head special operative of the Argus base. The fact that the military has grown more “aggressive” in Weiss’ absence has no bearing on her original knowledge that stealing/attacking this group would be a horrendous idea. She knew it. Qrow knew it. Everyone ignored that in favor of Jaune’s idiotic plan. I bring this up not to rub more salt in a long open wound, but to re-establish how the group is, thus far, unable to think ahead and accurately weigh the consequences of their actions. More on that later.

Their ship, Manta 5-1, is welcomed home and instructed to land so that a security team can debrief them. Whoops. Jaune, again in his infinite wisdom, reminds everyone that they achieved their goal of getting to Atlas. So now they just need to find some answers, yeah? Not quite. Weiss immediately points out that landing with a stolen ship means that security won’t let them anywhere near Ironwood… which, again, is something that holds true regardless of whether the military got more aggressive and their leader more dictator-y. This is not new information. Oddly enough, a group of teenagers with only one licensed huntsmen among them (considering that Maria is presumably still keeping a low profile) flying a stolen airship doesn’t exactly breed the sort of confidence that lets anyone---paranoid or not---approach a leader. These were all issues from the start that the group didn’t bother to consider in their haste to finish this mission.

“They might even take me back to my father,” Weiss says. Another concern that they’re only realizing now, yet one that the fandom latched onto immediately. Though mostly in the wrong way. It’s because Jacques is a threat that they should have found a more covert way into Atlas, or waited to hear from Ironwood, or just send Weiss herself with Cordovin’s blessing… Yes, much of the fandom got quite defensive at that suggestion, claiming that sending Weiss “alone” (she never would have been alone. Bird uncle. Fits into a suitcase grandma) was tantamount to handing her to Jacques wrapped up in a bow. Except, as is made perfectly clear here, it’s their illegal activity that endangers them. Which is more likely to get you sent off to daddy? Acting like a child by stealing military property and then getting caught? Or entering Atlas as a huntress with a special operative’s blessing, carrying instructions that you are to meet with Ironwood as soon as possible? To say the team dropped the ball on this one is an understatement.

Those, however, are all past options now far out of reach. Weiss decides then that she’ll simply call Winter and I absolutely adore Kara’s voice acting here. She managed to imbue so much into a single name, conveying Weiss’ realization, hope, and love for her sister in just two quick syllables. I feel like I got more insight into Weiss through that moment alone then the entirety of Volume Six. Only problem? Blake notices another feed where a recording of Winter emphasizes that anyone found breaking Atlas law will face punishment---something our group will be quite familiar with by the end of the episode---and Qrow decides that they probably shouldn’t go charging into Winter and Ironwood’s hands until they know more about the situation.

Which is the smartest decision we’ve seen in a while, considering that Ironwood’s own feed leaves little to the imagination. He continues to sport that beard, giving him more of a disheveled appearance compared to Volumes 1-3. His voice is as authoritative as ever and he literally towers high above all the people he’s supposedly protecting, keeping his distance from both the city and the airships that ‘govern’ it. A few moments earlier we got to see the startling contrast between the military life and the civilians’. Warm reds and browns give (in this case a literal) down-to-Earth feel and the neon signs are easy markers of a low-class neighborhood. You know the stereotyped kind: cheap food and cheaper entertainment. Compared to the whites and blues of the Atlas clouds, paralleling their elite (and thereby expensive) technology, the city below feels like a slum in comparison, reinforced by the dirty, drunk, and at times violent background characters that populate it. 

As Maria says later, “A home in the clouds is as bright as it gets,” to which Nora responds, “Unless you’re the one having to look up at it,” something she’d be very familiar with as a child stealing bread in the otherwise plentiful looking Kuroyuri. There are contrasts in coloring, dialogue, as well as framing here. Compare Ironwood’s sky-high observation to Pietro’s existence as a black man, in a wheelchair, doing volunteer work in what’s established as a dump. He’s as “low” as he can possibly be and acknowledges that he prefers to actually be among the people, not standing literally or figuratively above them. Just in case the audience misses these cues, we get some rather ominous music on top of all that and fearful looks between Ruby and Yang.

Ironwood’s recording says that some people may view these as “uncertain times,” likewise contrasting Glynda’s recording in the very first episode, announcing that they live in an “extraordinary time of peace.” Whether there’s uncertainty or not, Ironwood promises that Atlas will remain “safe and strong,” even if the other Kingdoms have begun to falter. The speech has a very ‘Us vs. Them’ quality about it.

“He looks tired,” Ruby comments and I just need to chuck another fandom into the mix real quick because:

Under these circumstances, “tired” doesn’t just require the John Mulaney advice of, “Get some rest, tall child!” It’s a clear dig at the leader’s capabilities and even their mental faculties. “James… what have you been doing?” Qrow asks, thereby re-framing “tired” as the nice euphemism for “gone off the deep end.” It remains to be seen though precisely how much of Ironwood’s paranoia is literal paranoia in the sense that it’s illogical and undeserved, and how much of these changes are highly undesirable, but potentially justifiable decisions. After all, we as the audience know precisely how dangerous Salem and her crew are. We know why Beacon fell. We’re privy to the stakes in a way that the average, angry Atlas citizen is not. All Ironwood can do in the face of such odds is try to prepare for every eventuality… it just looks like he’s reached a point where those preparations have started infringing on basic human rights. It’s a very sad setup. A classic case of the wrong things done for the right reasons.

There’s a check-in from the radio tower, whoever’s in charge wondering why Manta 1-5 hasn’t gone towards their landing pad yet. Maria comments that the lady should take a hint and starts finding a different place to land. Which in hindsight is kind of funny because they obviously did take a hint… and then sent out a special team to deal with the implications of that hint.

As the group starts exploring we get a lovely shot demonstrating how much they stand out in this new environment.

Though there’s some color in the neon signs, the otherwise overwhelming brown/beige/black/red makes elements like Nora’s pink skirt and Weiss’ white hair stick out like sore thumbs. As we’ll see in a minute, there are obviously in-world difficulties with them passing as average citizens, but it’s also a signal to the audience that, for now at least, they’re really out of their depth. This is the “greatest kingdom” referenced in our title. 

Maria is leading them to a friend of hers when a bot takes an interest in these obvious outsiders. It approaches Yang at the back of the group, takes an unexpected picture, and she responds by kicking it into the street where it sparks with damage before getting hit by a truck.

(Flashback to Ruby and Penny, anyone?)

Now, I’m honestly on the fence about this moment. You could make the case that they’re all traumatized fighters and responding to that flash was a logical, instinctual response. You can even argue that, just hours after taking her first faunus life, Yang is more than a little on edge—even though the premier doesn’t reference this incredibly significant event at all, outside of Blake’s quick realization that her blade is still broken. Both are valid and easily supported readings. However, I’m still hyper aware that this is Yang. The character who, for two volumes now, has been characterized very strongly by her, “attack first, ask questions later” attitude. Out of all the characters we could have seen instinctively attacking something that hadn’t actually done her any harm, choosing Yang holds the most weight. The story also lightly acknowledges that this was an extreme response, what with the group staring at her and Yang’s sheepish expression.

Whether it’s specifically in the context of trauma over the fight with Adam, or more broadly acknowledging Yang’s tendency to both assume and act on the worst in people, I hope this volume helps her manage these instincts. One talk with Tai about not punching through problems isn’t going to cut it. Especially when her forceful attitude has caused much of the internal conflict recently. 

It’s after this that the group is accosted by a drunk man, functioning largely as exposition to explain what’s been going on in Atlas and why the people are so scared and angry about it. Pissed enough to get literally pissed, of the inebriated variety. Here then, we return to the “this group of teenagers is really bad at thinking ahead” issue that I mentioned earlier. Ruby is all ready to start a fight---referencing her newfound willingness to escalate situations that don’t necessitate escalation---and it’s Blake who holds her back, reminding Ruby that they can’t afford to cause a scene. Which is fantastic. Except they end up causing a scene anyway when the drunk calls Blake a “stupid faunus” and Weiss uses a glyph to chuck him into the trash.

Is seeing a racist asshole get his just desserts extremely satisfying? Absolutely and from a representation perspective I’m thrilled to see Rooster Teeth taking a hard stance in their story. From an in-world perspective though, that was an incredibly bad decision. We’ve been establishing since minute one of this premier that the group needs to be cautious. Blake herself, the victim here, just told Ruby not to endanger the whole group by defending her honor… and then Weiss swoops in to do it anyway. There are two priorities here, to your friends and to your mission, and the issue is that Team RWBY has a tendency to consistently prioritize the former, something that wouldn’t be an issue if this was still a low-key story about a group of students and not would-be, formal huntresses trying to save the world. The choice to attack rather than walking away---paralleling last volume’s final battle---speaks to their inability to think ahead and weigh their priorities. “It was worth it,” Weiss says, but is it? Now that you’ve caused the scene that you couldn’t afford? Now that this guy recognized your glyphs and you’ve blown your cover? I realize I’ll probably get heat for this, but there’s a difference between calling out micro-aggressions in everyday life and calling them out when you’re fugitives trying to keep an invaluable relic safe. It would have said more about the group’s maturity if Blake had succeeded in avoiding a scene and they expressed anger/sympathy among themselves that she had to put up with that shit. Throwing guys into dumpsters is satisfying as hell, but it’s not the action of a level-headed adult conducting a job.

Provided that the story actually acknowledges how young they are and that it’s expected they make such mistakes, we’re golden. As it is though, these issues are usually brushed aside. Later Maria says that Pietro “likes to keep a low profile. Something I’m coming to realize you know nothing about,” but it’s said in a joking, fond manner. This isn’t treated as an actual flaw and is therefore not set up as something for the team to work on. And that, right there, is the heart of the conflict between RWBYJNR and Ozpin. He’s a fine scalpel. They’re a sledgehammer. RWBY continually introduces threats that require a delicate touch---whether it’s the possibility of spies in your midst that force you to carefully monitor who has what information, or needing to move through a city without drawing attention to yourself---these battles require a certain level of strategy and without fail our heroes are characterized as people who can only solve their problems through direct, immediate violence. You don’t walk away from a fight. Ever. Be it Cordovin or a racist drunk. The more I see of their behavior, no matter the good intentions behind it, the more it makes sense to me that Ozpin lied and kept his secrets. Our heroes simply don’t have the patient, level-headed, forward-thinking personalities required to fight this kind of delicate war. Their talent lies in the hack-’em slash-’em situations. 

Anyway, I’m getting off topic. The group runs from the guards that show up after the drunk guy incident and they manage to make it to Pietro’s place. After some fun dialogue about whether he remembers Maria and the state of his shop, we get a potential explanation for Maria’s strange behavior on the train. Everyone remember this?

Obviously the camera focusing on Maria helps us, the audience, realize that she’s a character who will eventually become important to the story, but it’s also a bit coincidental that she’s hanging out near Team RWBY’s room. Especially when she inexplicably ends up on the back half of the train when everyone else was evacuated. It was clear at the time that she’d deliberately stayed back, but to what purpose no one was sure. Here, Maria gives a general answer about how she thought this group might have needed her guidance while fighting all those manticores… which is still an odd explanation to my mind. Because up until her confession leaving the farmhouse, Maria wants to keep that low-profile. She’s done with being the Grimm Reaper, so why get involved now? Especially when, with hired huntsmen to protect the train and a large group of teens with their own weapons, she probably would have assumed they were all in good hands? Even if it was just a fighter’s natural instinct to help, what would that guidance have looked like? Pretending to be a normal, formal huntress lending a hand where she can? Admitting she’s the Grimm Reaper? Is she still able to fight? There’s still the highly coincidental nature that Maria, the greatest huntress of a generation, just happened to be traveling the same route as and randomly became interested in the group involved with Salem, gods, and the relics.

To be clear, I’m not really arguing that there’s some big conspiracy surrounding Maria. Coincidences are common in all fiction because if things happened based on real-life probability, it would all be pretty boring. Rather, I’m simply pointing out that between losing her eyes as a young adult and coincidentally getting involved with Team RWBY now, we pretty much have no idea what Maria has been up to for most of her life. If the story wanted to establish some sort of betrayal/trickery/what-have-you, there’s room for it.

That would make me super sad though. I quite like Maria.

We learn more about Ironwood’s increasing paranoia, a hint that not everyone on the council is happy with his changes---that mysterious woman we keep seeing on the posters, perhaps?---and the acknowledgement that whoever helped bring down Atlas’ tech at Beacon has to be “Either a genius, or one of our own.” Probably both. Enter Watts, seen typing at a computer in our opening.

With all this info bearing down on them, a few characters like Jaune and Oscar start asking whether they can just leave and yes, please tackle that, because it’s a very important question. Right now the show has stalled the, “Will the group continue the fight against Salem and what’s their reasoning for doing so when they all think it’s pointless?” question by throwing up another roadblock with the relic. They got it to Atlas, but they’re not sure they can hand it off to Ironwood yet, which just leaves them twiddling their thumbs. That portion of the quest isn’t technically complete yet, putting off an answer as to whether and why they’ll go onto the next portion. We need to tackle the group’s new motivations though. Soon. I sincerely hope that when Ironwood announces he has a way of defeating Salem, we finally get the group challenging their own assertions that such attempts are fundamentally useless. We had a whole volume of, “Oh no. Oh god. Salem is immortal and all our work is for naught.” We need at least a little attention paid to the development of a new perspective to counteract that.

Before things can get too bleak though, Pietro recognizes Weiss as a Schnee. Yang, in a lovely moment of support, desperately tries to re-direct the conversation back to the council. Pietro then recognizes her arm, puts it all together to get Team RWBY, and drops the loaded comment, “My daughter has told me so much about you.”

Many fans saw it coming. Even more hoped for it. Honestly? I think that’s great. Too many shows nowadays rely on “twists” that don’t actually make sense, or even undermine the original setup. Those are frustrating beyond belief and feel like the authors are selling out good story for cheap, undesired shock value. The fandom saw Penny’s resurrection coming a mile away? Great! That just means Rooster Teeth did a good job of setting up that possibility and then following through on it.

I’ll talk more about Penny’s introduction in a moment, but first I just want to throw out that I legitimately enjoyed the fight scene. Good action and creative teamwork at times. I particularly liked Weiss and Ren working together to take down four grimm in as many seconds. Oscar likewise takes a grimm out with a very impressive strike… more impressive than I was expecting from him, honestly. Right now I suppose I’m just inclined to shrug that off with, “He and Ozpin are slowly merging, so he picks up stuff way faster than everyone else,” most notably Jaune. Also, I’ll be blunt. I wouldn’t touch canon-based rosegarden with a ten-foot pole. You know, because of all the issues like a massive age difference, two minor characters involved, questions of consent, the fact that Ruby was Ozpin’s student---pesky ethical concerns like that. AUs though? I think the ship is adorable. Provided that Oscar is fully his own person and there’s consent on both sides appropriate for whatever ages they currently are in your fic or fanart? Very nice. So, it’s for those fans that I point out an entirely coincidental parallel: Ruby saves Oscar from a grimm with a bullet in nearly the exact same manner that Blake saves Yang from a grimm with a bullet. Make of that what you will.

Back to Penny though. Overall, am I thrilled that she’s back? Absolutely. I actually spoke about this recently while answering an ask, expressing how much I’d enjoy this very scenario: having her consciousness saved and thus allowing for her resurrection. Do I think her new look is adorable? Yes, yes I do. “And yet,” you say, “It sounds like there’s a ‘but’ somewhere in there, Clyde.” Yeah. Sadly there is. Because although I’m happy to have Penny, I wasn’t particularly taken with how they re-introduced her.

Simply put, there was far too much humor for what should have been a touching, emotional scene. With the exception of one moment where Ruby tries to voice the word “killed,” everyone treats Penny’s resurrection as a surprising, but not terribly notable event. Yang, Weiss, and Blake express a sort of long-suffering fondness as they comment on how wholesome this is. Pietro laughs at any shock over her “death” and shrugs about how yeah, it technically was. Whatever. Qrow takes the time to nonchalantly say that things are going better than he expected. Ruby is holding it all together with barely a blink. Penny herself is nothing but exuberance and funny dialogue. Maria cracks a joke about how she has no idea who this child is. Jaune goes, “Well, that was unexpected” as if Penny had showed up in Atlas when they all thought she was in Vacuo. That sort of surprise. The whole thing is treated flippantly with, “Never a dull moment.” Summarized, all this really isn’t the appropriate reaction to realizing a friend is no longer dead.

Yes, Ruby was the closest to Penny by far---we can’t expect everyone to get misty-eyed---but does everyone remember what her death was like? It was the turning point of the entire series, not just for the audience, but the characters as well. Penny was the first casualty of the Fall of Beacon and her death was appropriately gut wrenching. It was then shown across every TV turned to the Vytal Festival, the moment where the whole world watched their golden girl, Pyrrha, unintentionally murder a newcomer who turned out to be a robot. Moments later grimm start attacking and the safest place on Remnant is destroyed. Penny’s death heralded all that. The one time we see Ruby tackling the trauma of it all is when she speaks with Oscar and, notably, crumbles a bit when she instinctively uses Penny’s catch phrase.

What I had hoped for was the group grappling with the sudden, completely unexpected shock of getting one of two losses back; working through the knowledge that their lives have been defined by two friends’ death and now one of those has been retroactively erased. Perhaps we’ll see that in future episodes, but right now it feels like a disservice to the impact Penny’s death had on the characters and the story to treat this as such a comic, light-hearted moment. Let Penny tackle-hug Ruby and then let Ruby give her a much more sincere embrace. Let her cry. Have Yang put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder, giving her a look that expresses how she understands what this means to her. Have Jaune looking away, devastated that Ruby miraculously got her friend back, but such an event is impossible for Pyrrha. Let him or Oscar or Ren or anyone seriously acknowledge that, holy shit, this is a joyous occasion we never expected to experience. We’ve spent months dealing with trauma and pessimism, now here’s Penny, reminding us that there’s still so much good in the world. Have someone acknowledge that sometimes the impossible happens (cough-defeatingSalem-cough). You can allow the moment to function as the momentous occasion it is and then lighten the mood by having Maria announce that she has no idea what’s going on.

This isn’t the first time Rooster Teeth has implemented comedy when they were better off sticking with drama. See: the choice to animate punching Ozpin last volume in an absurd, cartoon style. So yeah. Happy to have Penny back, but that first moment felt underwhelming, to say the least.

We then have an admittedly very cool shot—

— (semblance? Just awesome drama?) right before the group is taken out in seconds by Atlas’ elite. They’re… I don’t know how to spell their name yet. Is it something like Ace-Ops for elite special operations? Or Aesop like Aesop’s fables? Potentially both? Idk. The fandom will figure that out in the next day or so, if they haven’t already. What’s important though is that this group charges our team with stealing an airship, illegally entering the city with it, and starting an unauthorized fight in the streets. If I could just take one second to…

Ahem. I’m good. Seriously though, if I’m at all optimistic for Volume Seven it’s because the story is finally acknowledging that the group made some pretty massive mistakes last volume. Not that it looks like there will be much punishment attached to that. Between them meeting with Ironwood in the trailer and the Blah-Blah-Ops’ clear status as heroes this volume (they’re in the opening a bunch and seem to be working with RWBYJNR), I’m not yet convinced that this arrest will lead to anything other than getting precisely what they want: seeing Ironwood. To be clear, it’s not like I want the group languishing in jail for twelve episodes. That would be one hell of a boring volume. But rather, I’m interested in whether the story will continue to imply that Atlas is in the right for arresting them, or whether Episode Two will quickly turn that on its head and forcefully announce, as they did in Volume Six, that these actions are an egregious insult because we’re the protagonists. How dare you not let us do whatever we want?

Because the group was in the wrong here. It can be easy to miss considering that the rules they’re refusing to obey are tied up in a dictator-like society---aren’t we the heroes for ignoring and circumventing evil Ironwood’s laws?---but what they actually choose to do has far more of an impact on innocent civilians than it does on The Man. Like endangering all of Argus with your needless battle. Or, to a much smaller extent here, jumping into a fight when you’re not authorized to do that. Now, I actually don’t blame RWBYJNR for that one. They are huntsmen and it’s their job to protect the people. Going out to defeat grimm is 100% their thing. Rather, I’m talking about stuff like their commentary on Atlas’ defenses. When the fight starts we get, “I guess the city’s defenses aren’t doing much” and “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” It’s more of that, “Us huntsmen are the only true defenders of the world. Your attempts with robots would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous” attitude. It’s a certain level of arrogance. As we see just a minute later though, Ironwood’s setup works. Because the civilians all know to get indoors. Because he has Penny. The robots hold off the grimm until she arrives, defeating the rest with a speed and an ease that frankly doesn’t compare to what we saw the group accomplishing. She does from above what it took nine of them to manage, often (as we saw with Oscar and Yang) with great danger to them in the process. When they’re bound and accused of unauthorized fighting, it’s clear that they were, in fact, shouldering their way into a situation where they weren’t needed---and potentially causing trouble in the process. Rules exist for a reason. Are they always perfect? Far from it, but in the characterization folding over from Volume Six, the group has forgotten that most of the time rules are there for others’ safety. They have been thought out. This particular situation is easily defendable (of course they’re going to go fight grimm) and there were no consequences to the group jumping in when they weren’t allowed (like property damage or injured civilians), but this moment does function as a good representation of the overall problem. Just because there weren’t consequences for saying, “Screw your laws” this time doesn’t mean there won’t be in the future. Or that there hasn’t been in the past.

It likewise stands out to me that Qrow consistently tires to use his “I’m a licensed huntsmen” as a justification. He flashes it at the two goons on the train to get them to back off. He tires to use it to get past Cordovin. He now tells his captors that he has every right to fight and protect the people because of this card he carries. Qrow is well aware of how important the status of a huntsmen is in this world… yet he’s running around with eight fighters who don’t have that legal backing. I don’t think the show would ever go for my suggestion of another school arc so they could finish their training, but at the very least we should provide some sort of loop-hole for these characters. Have Ironwood provide special licenses based on their heroics at the Fall of Beacon and their work since. Because right now we have a world that’s continually emphasizing being a huntsmen as a job, something you earn the right to call yourself, yet 95% of our group doesn’t have that right in the eyes of their society. We know they’ve done great, secret work to protect the people. But the people only know that these are a bunch of teens with one year of formal training. So you really can’t blame any officials for going, “Sorry. We’re not in the habit of letting random people with weapons cross our borders. Or fight in our streets.” It’s like if a bunch of 14-18yos arrived at a crime scene with guns and demanded that they be let in on a case. No, we never graduated from an academy, but you should adhere to our demands anyway. The good intentions are there, but you need to iron out the formalities first. 

Really, RWBY should just fix the whole license thing with a throw-away plot point if they’re not going to tackle it seriously, just so this isn’t an ethical issue anymore. I’d rather smooth it over soon since the story doesn’t seem interested in tackling whether a group with one year of formal training should be allowed that status. So just give it to them and let’s move on. They might still run into issues with Atlas, but at least the rest of the world won’t be expected to trust them purely on faith. Not everyone belongs to a small town terrorized by a geist, with four random teens as your only option for safety.

Which finally, as the doors close on our group with heavy heads, brings us to the opening. Some things to pay attention to:

1. We get a glimpse of that mysterious woman shown in numerous posters across the city. 

(I’m likewise interested in the very long shot we got on this “show your teeth” graffiti.) 

2. Watts and Tyrian are presented as primary antagonists. Interesting that Neo and Cinder aren’t there (not that I caught anyway), especially since we know they were heading to Atlas last volume as well. It makes me think that they’ll be the true threat at the end of the volume. Keeping things quiet, even in the intro, so we have no chance of guessing their plan.

3. The main conflict seems to be between Weiss and Winter, as opposed to Weiss and Jacques as many originally assumed. Those expressions don’t bode well.

4. We still see an image of Ironwood briefly flickering to Jacques though as an angry citizen throws a rock at it. Implying Jacques is secretly pulling the strings? James has simply become too much like him? We’ll have to see.

5. We get a shot of Oscar and Ironwood… training? Fighting? I’m inclined to say fighting based on his and Ozpin’s past difficulties, but that’s also up in the air.

6. The image of our staff…

…and 7. an absolutely massive cast this volume. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’m concerned with RWBY’s insistence on continually introducing so many new characters, particularly characters who are important enough to warrant decent development. There simply isn’t time for them all.

(Although, is Maria in that shot? Wonder if she’ll leave the group now that she’s done her duty of helping Ruby out with her eyes.) 

Which brings us to the end of the premier! Finally, I’d like to end with a personal note. As is quite obvious, I’m still watching and recapping RWBY, but I feel like I should be upfront about my overall lack of investment in the series right now. Chock it up to getting burned last volume, fading interest in a long-running show, just growing up and changing… I don’t claim to know precisely why I’m no longer jazzed about a new volume like I once was. But, if I perhaps appear overly critical of what I generally thought was a good—and honestly better than expected—premier? That’s probably why. The details just don’t cut it for me anymore. All caps, screaming excitement over Penny’s return or Qrow’s new outfit just doesn’t resonate much, which leaves me with a more critical perspective on the show overall. So if that’s something you’re interested in, stick around because, baring unforeseen circumstances, there will be more metas over the next three or so months. More invested in a flailing celebration of RWBY as a whole? You’re better off hitting up another blog.  

Basically, you know that shot in Pietro’s?

Note the “Days since our last nonsense” sign combined with the defeated expressions. That’s what RWBY feels like to me these days. A lot of nonsense and limited enjoyment. Ah well. Maybe Volume Seven will prove me wrong and I’ll be re-invigorated by the end of the season!

Until then, ❤️️

Minor Things of Note

Maria refers to the group as “kids” in the airship and Penny as a “child.” Acknowledging last year’s debate, I stand by the argument that just because many (but not all) of the group have reached the age of maturity in our world doesn’t mean they’re on par with the adults they were so recently rejecting. There’s a reason why the very old Maria naturally uses “kid” and “child” and it doesn’t come off as weird.

I really like the design of Pietro’s chair. Giving him something that walks on four legs is both different and a nice nod to nature among all the tech. Also, kudos to the Pinocchio reference on his bookshelf in the form of a whale.

Nora remains as adorable as ever. I particularly liked her energy in Pietro’s and her high-key annoyance at Ren getting a jump on the fight. I’m interested in what we’ll be learning about her this volume. 

Not sure I’m a fan of Rooster Teeth using these squeaky toy noises whenever the group is comically surprised by something. Comedy is great, we need it in this story, but sound effects like that are remnants (ha) of a tone we haven’t really seen since Volume 1. I think the show can still get away with exaggerated facial expressions---Nora in her excitement, Ruby laughing at Jaune’s Pumpkin Pete’s sweatshirt---but this feels a bit out of place now.

“Maybe Atlas isn’t as safe as we thought” and yet, astoundingly, no one is inclined to ask Ozpin to weigh in on this. Even now that they know he’s listening. I think I’ll start a tally. See how many episodes it takes to actually acknowledge, let alone act on, the primary conflict of Volume 6.

Image Credit

Personal screenshots from RWBY 

Transflag: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Transgender_Pride_flag.svg

Doctor Who GIF: https://tenor.com/view/doctor-who-tired-harriet-jones-gif-5627138

How I Met Your Mother GIF: https://giphy.com/gifs/celebrate-2o5Ypf4fP6ahq

[distant-rose]

Snowfall

Notes: This is purely @killianmesmalls‘ fault for taking me to Cursed Child this week and the parallels between Scorbus and Wesgid getting to me. I have a lot of feelings about best friends who shouldn’t be best friends becoming lovers and this is what I’m all about - disaster bi boys. A special thanks also to @shireness-says, @optomisticgirl and @clockadile for encouraging me to write this nonsense that only they would read. I’ve kinda been on an LP roll lately and it’s not slowing down anytime soon.  Summary: Gideon has been in love with Wes for as long as he could remember, but has resigned himself to the fact he’s only meant to be Wes’s best friend and trusted confidante. Everything changes on a cold snowy December night. Word Count: 2,300+ Rating: T

--

‘Your war memories will be with you forever, you'll be asked about them thousands of times after the war is over.’

Gideon had been staring at those nineteen words for the past twenty minutes, but for some reason, his brain refused to get past them. His mother had gifted him A Separate Peace for Christmas and while he was initially enthusiastic to read it, now he couldn’t bring himself to concentrate.

It wasn’t a secret as to why.

Wes had been pacing around their apartment now for the past twenty minutes, doing a circuit around the entire place. He seemed as content as a caged tiger, with his eyebrows furrowed together and his lips drawn into a thin pressed line. He wasn’t particularly loud, but the constant motion combined with the rather obvious tempestuous energy radiating off of him was enough to take Gideon’s eye away from the page.

“If you keep going about like that, you’re going to burn a hole into that carpet and I don’t think we can afford to replace it.”

Wes didn’t respond, he kept pacing. Occasionally he glanced up at the clock and the scowl got deeper.

Gideon Gold didn’t take kindly to being ignored.

“What’s wrong with you?” he snapped, his anger punctuated by the forceful shutting of his book. The sound cut through the room, causing Wes to jump and finally look at him.

“What?”

“What’s the matter with you? You’re acting strange. You’re pacing. You look nervous, and you’ve never looked nervous a day in your life. Even when you destroyed the truck. You’ve always been irritatingly unflappable. So what’s got you so…flappable?”

“Flappable? Is that all you got? You read almost two hundred books a year, all those words in your head and that’s all you can come up with? Flappable? It’s disappointing.”

“Well, this might be news to you, but you rate slightly higher on my list of concerns than my vocabulary,” he responded, unimpressed. “And you’re avoiding the question.”

“Bobbi.”

“Pardon?”

“Bobbi is the problem.”

“Ah.”

There was no other way to respond. Fights between Bobbi and Wes were frequent and infamous at this point. They had been on and off with their relationship for as long as he could remember. Gideon had done his best to stay out of their squabbles. No good had ever been done by getting involved. He had learned that the hard way.

“Is that all you have to say? How articulate.”

“What is there to say? It’s none of my business.”

“Isn’t it?” Wes responded, arching his eyebrows at him.

Gideon’s cheeks coloured with mortification at the question. An oppressing silence followed, as Wes continued to stare at him challengingly and Gideon struggled to formulate his words.

He had been dreading this moment his entire life. No amount of nightmares could have prepared him for it.

“I don’t think you’re socially aware enough to understand how inappropriate that question is,” he responded in a neutral tone when he finally found the words. “And because of that, I’m going to take a walk before we both say something we regret.”

“Gideon, I—“

“Stop,” he cut him off. “Just stop and give me space. For once, do as I say and not as you want, and give me space.”

He stood, dropping his book without care, and made his way to the door without looking at Wes. The silence between them rang loudly in his ears as he pulled on his jacket and left.

The cold January air stung his lungs, but Gideon was glad to feel something other than the mounting mortification. Despite the fact it was only after eight o’clock, the streets of Storybrooke were empty. Everyone was inside, preparing for the upcoming snowstorm and he was glad for the solitude.

He didn’t want anyone to see him like this.  

Hot tears trickled down his cheeks as he trudged his way down the sidewalk, snow and ice crunching loudly underneath his feet. One fact was buzzing loudly in his brain.

Wes knew.

Gideon had feelings for Wes and Wes knew it.

Those feelings had existed for as long as he could remember, but he had always known that he could never act on them. Wes had always had his eyes on Bobbi. Even though he had fooled around with every girl in their school, it had always been Bobbi that held his eye and Gideon had grown to accept that fact. It would always be Bobbi and he had been content to be nothing more than his best friend. Even though he wished he was the one in his arms and he was the one Wes was kissing, having his friendship and having his trust was better than having nothing.

Now Wes knew and everything would change.

He was going to lose his best friend.

He let out a shuddering breath as that one painful fact sunk in. He was going to lose his best friend, his world, the only boy who had ever approached him on the playground when they were kids.

Everything hurt.

Snowflakes began to fall, dancing in the harsh yellow of the street lamps. He watched them as they began fluttering to the ground, trying to calm the emotional maelstrom in his head. When he was a child, he used to spend hours watching snow storms from the window, waiting for the frost to cover the glass so he could draw and make funny pictures. His mother sometimes would join in and they would create scenes from the stories she would read to him.

His breath slowed as he watched, his steady exhales occasionally interrupted by the occasional hiccup.

“Gideon!”

He squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of his name.

Of fucking course.

Wes Jones never listened. If given a command, he would do anything in his power to thwart the wishes of the authority in question, even if it was his own best friend.

“Gideon, come here!”

He deliberately turned his back to him, fists balled in anger. He didn’t respond. If he did, Wes would win.

“Gideon, please!”

Snow crunched behind him, getting louder and closer with each sound. There was a tug on his shoulder.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Look at me...please...”

It was the ‘please’ that got him. Wesley Graham Jones had never said the word before in his life. Things came easy for him; he had always been charming and charismatic enough to get what he wanted without much effort. He never had to beg to get what he wanted.

Now, here he was.

Gideon turned, slightly startled to see how close Wes was. Wes was looking at him with concerned forget-me-not blue eyes. It was the eyes that always caught Gideon’s attention. No one had eyes like that.

“What do you want?”

“It’s cold,” Wes replied, stepping even closer. “And you forgot your scarf.”

He held up the red scarf that Gideon’s mother had made for him when he was still young, barely a teenager. It had been one of his favorite possessions, so much that he had considered it an extension of himself.

Wes didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, he took it and wrapped it gently around Gideon’s neck. His eyebrows were knitted together in a contemplative expression as he smoothed it out like a fussy, affectionate grandmother.

“I’m not a good boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m not a good boyfriend,” Wes repeated. “Bobbi and I...I haven’t been good to her. We broke it off last night...again...and I was angry and I decided that the answer to my anger and my hurt...was to flirt with another girl in front of her and show her what she was missing. I wanted to hurt her...”

“Okay. What does this have to do with anything?” Gideon asked, frowning.

“I’m getting there,” Wes rolled his eyes, tugging on Gideon’s scarf in emphasis. It was then that he noticed that Wes hadn’t let go of it, his fingers still curled into the knitted fabric. “Stop interrupting me.”

“Whatever. Just get on with it.”

“Needless to say it didn’t work. If anything, it amused her and she started to laugh. It made me angrier and it wounded my pride.”

“Not a typically hard thing to do.”

“Shush now. Story time,” Wes admonished again, giving him a pointed look.  

He still hadn’t let go of the scarf.

“I confronted her about it. I didn’t understand her reaction and she told me, point blank, that the girl I was flirting with was not and would never be her competition. She said she only had one true rival for my affections and that rival... was you.”

“Westley…she was just winding you up.”

“No, she was right.”

Gideon froze, afraid that if he so much as breathed, this moment would disappear forever. Wes stood before him, disheveled and, for once, genuine. The tips of his nose and ears were pink and his long blond hair was a mess, but he never looked more handsome than he did at that moment with his intense blue eyes earnest and snow collecting in his lashes.

“I don’t like people,you know this,” Wes spoke again. “Sure, I enjoy a good party, but most people I could do without.  If the world ended tomorrow,there are only two people in the world that I would want to be with...it would be you and Bobbi, hands down. I love both of you more than my own family. You are my family, and for a long time, that’s all I thought I felt for you: something familial…I now know...that’s not true...it’s not…”

“Wes…”

“I’ve been blind… I’ve been blind for a long time, blind, and stubborn,  and trying to make something that can’t work, work… and you’ve been here for so long and you never said anything — ”

“I didn’t want to lose you,” he murmured.

A small smile pulled at the corner of Wes’s lips. Gideon’s heart skipped as Wes stepped closer and cupped his cheek.

“You could never lose me. We’ve been friends for too long and I can’t imagine a world without you, nor would I want to. You’re my best friend, and… you’re one of the great loves of my life.”

“One of them? There’s more than one?” Gideon questioned, raising his eyebrows. He couldn’t help teasing Wes and his inability to think before speaking. His words had stung a little, but he understood how big of a gesture this was for Wes, who was incredibly ill equipped to make romantic speeches.

Wes seemed to realize the implications behind his words and looked stricken.

“Oh god, I’ve stepped in already!”

“Really, Westley? I’ve been waiting for this day since I was thirteen years old and this is the best you can do? Unbelievable.”

Wes’ face flushed further. “You know I’m not good at this.”

“Yeah, you really are a bad boyfriend,” he snickered.

“But I would like to be your bad boyfriend.”

“You’re really on a roll with the bad lines today.”

“I can’t seem to stop myself,” Wes chuckled awkwardly, taking a step backwards but still holding onto the scarf.

“I can fix that,” Gideon said with a small smile.

Gideon was known for many things. He was known for being rather bookish, intelligent and sarcastic. He had been simultaneously a teacher’s wet dream and worst nightmare when he was in high school. What he wasn’t known for was his bravery. He had always left it to Wes and Bobbi to take the lead and be the brave ones when such things were required.

However, in this moment, he felt brave.

It was him who stepped forward this time. It was him who reached forward and traced his fingers along Wes’s cheek. And it was him who leaned forward and kissed Wes.

Wes’s lips were chapped and a little cold, but it didn’t stop the jolt of electricity that seemed to zip throughout his entire body. It didn’t take him too long to respond, his hands leaving Gideon’s scarf and traveling upwards. One cradled the line of his jaw and changed the angle of the kiss while the other curled in his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss wasn’t the most coordinated in the world, their noses smushing together and teeth clacking, but they made up for technique with enthusiasm.

It was hands down the best kiss Gideon had experienced.

Wes pulled back first, far enough away that their lips weren’t touching but close enough that Gideon still felt the warmth of his breath curling against his skin. His eyes were bright and he was smiling.

“So...that was new…” Wes chuckled.

“It was.”

“And it was pretty good - ...A good start…”

“Yeah, a good start,” he agreed.

“Do you want to know what would make it better?”

“What?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow but still smiling.

“If I wasn’t freezing my ass off.”

“Oh my god, you really are the most unromantic person I know,” Gideon laughed. He couldn’t stop the giddy feeling inside of him from bubbling up to the surface.

“Can you handle that?” Wes asked, looking concerned.

Gideon leaned forward and pressed another kiss to his lips, this time quick and all too brief.

“Yeah, I can handle that. Now, let’s go inside and warm you up.”

“Yes, warm me up, I like the sound of that,” Wes smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

Gideon rolled his eyes.

“I’m gonna say this now because I know what you’re like, but I’m not sleeping with you. Not until you buy me dinner first.”

“What if I make you dinner?” Wes asked. He held out his hand, wiggling his fingers at him. Gideon tentatively took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Sure, but I’m going to say this point blank: boxed macaroni and cheese or microwave ramen does not count as dinner.”

“But that’s all I know how to make,” Wes pouted.

“Yes, I’m well aware.”

[losingmymindtonight]

Ooooh - you ask me for fluff??? Have you considered TONY AND PETER WATCHING MERLIN??????? All the way from the adorkable beginning to the angsty angsty end??? Bcs I'm betting Tony would have some jokes about Merlin keeping his secret about as well as Peter does. 😂😂

I was born to write this

Today is Merlin’s 10 year anniversary! I miss my dumb boys…

Merlin spoilers ahead!

Also this… might not make any sense at all if you haven’t watched Merlin? I couldn’t really help it.

“What’re we watching, again?”

Peter plopped down beside Tony and tucked himself into the man’s side, a maneuver perfected through countless days of practice. “It’s an old BBC show called Merlin.”

“And why are we watching it?”

“Because MJ told me that if I didn’t, she’d spoil the ending.” Peter blinked up at him innocently. Tony sort of hated that it wasn’t an act. The kid really was that pure. “And because you said we could binge watch whatever I wanted.”

He had said that, to be fair.

It was Peter’s spring break, and May was out of town. At May’s request, he’d happily volunteered to have the kid over for the week. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Peter to be alone for that long, exactly…

Okay, actually, yeah. Neither he nor May trusted the kid to be alone for that long.

Could anyone blame them? He was a magnet for trouble. Tony was surprised Peter could walk five steps on the street without someone trying to detach his head from his body.

And so, in the name of what May called his “co-parental service hours,” Tony’s weekend would be spent watching a cancelled BBC show and living off of microwave popcorn and delivered pizzas.

He guessed that there were definitely worse things to be doing.

“So,” Peter maneuvered through the Netflix interface like it was a second skin. He tried not to be jealous, “give me a rundown. On what kind of journey are we about to embark?”

“It’s a show about Merlin-”

“Holy shit, I would’ve never guessed…”

“Hey!” Peter laughed, hovering the mouse over the first episode. “It’s like a ‘what if?’ story. What if Merlin and Arthur were the same age, and Merlin was Arthur’s servant instead of this wise old wizard? It’s supposed to be really good.”

I can’t wait. “Alright, kid. Let’s have at it.”

Peter hit play and tossed the remote onto the coffee table, leaning his head against the top of Tony’s chest as the first scene faded into view.

“No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will, in time, father the legend. His name: Merlin.” 

And, damn it, Tony could already feel himself drawing the parallels between the gangly kid on the screen and the gangly kid curled up next to him. 

Peter had no idea, did he? He couldn’t see the path that Tony saw winding further every day.

He had no idea that he was going to change the world.

He watched the Evil King character execute some random sorcerer with a weird taste in his mouth.

It felt too real, too present. Too close to what Tony imaged Ross would do to Peter if he ever got his hands on him…

He shook the thoughts away. No. This was supposed to be fun. They were binge watching a lighthearted show over the kid’s spring break. The occasion did not lend itself to thoughts like that.

He decided that he liked Gaius from the old physician’s very first scene. He voiced that thought to Peter, quietly, during a lull in the dialogue.

“Why?”

Tony shrugged. “He’s gonna suffer.”

Peter dropped his head back, craning his neck painfully, to stare up at his mentor with wide eyes. “He is?”

He chuckled, letting the sound release some of the tension from Peter’s gaze. “Of course he is. His job is to keep the reckless kid alive. It’s not easy, let me tell you.”

Peter hit Tony with a pillow, and the episode rolled on.

“Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?”

A flare of protectiveness for his Peter-stand in flared in Tony’s chest. 

He shifted Peter a little closer, as if protecting his kid would protect the one on the screen as well. 

He decided all at once that he didn’t like Arthur. He didn’t like him even a little bit.

“He’s an asshole.”

Peter seemed unperturbed. He played with the cuff of Tony’s shirt lazily, eyes tracking the scene. “People can change, Mister Stark. You did, didn’t you?” The kid smiled his special, unburdened smile. “Give him a chance.”

It occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, he hated Arthur because the prince reminded him of an outdated version of himself.

Young, brazen, self-centered, cruel. Blind to the ways his actions could hurt and maim and kill. Following doggedly in the over-sized footsteps his father left. Driven by false arrogance, one-size-fits-all ideals, and overwhelming bitterness on his tongue.

He sighed. “Sure, kid. I’ll give Prince Asshole a chance.”

As it turned out, his forced sympathy for Arthur his deadbeat dad was a lot harder to hold onto than he thought it might be.

This Merlin character really knew how to look like a kicked puppy.

“I’m not a monster, am I?”

“Don’t ever think that.”

Tony tightened his grip around Peter’s back at the same moment the teenager shifted to cling tighter.

He wanted to tell the kid that Gaius was right, and that Prince Asshole was wrong. He wanted to tell him that Merlin wasn’t a monster. That nobody could help who they were, and that it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

He wanted to tell Peter that he wasn’t a monster, a freak, a mistake. He wanted to make sure he knew that Tony would tear down anyone who said otherwise.

Instead, he just smoothed a hand through Peter’s bangs and hoped he could feel it through the solidity of their half-embrace.

“If you can’t tell me, no one can.”

The first season fell away along with the daylight.

He watched Merlin, who he had to repetitively remind himself was not Peter, stumble through a million different mistakes. He watched him drink some poison (stupid), harbor some fugitive child right under the Evil King’s nose (stupid), and offer up his life in exchange for Prince Asshole’s (stupidstupidstupid).

It felt like every turn the character took made him want to smash his head into the nearest wall. Repetitively.

(On the other hand, Prince Asshole was slowly, and painfully, growing on him. Not that he was ready to admit that to Peter, of course.)

The final episode of the season faded into credits, and Tony wordlessly flicked off the TV.

“Hey.” The kid’s protest might have held more weight if his eyes weren’t closed and the words weren’t soft with sleepiness. “One more.”

Tony made sure to keep his voice low and soothing, carding his fingers through the kid’s mess of curls. “You won’t even concentrate on it.”

“Will too.”

“Oh?” He turned the screen back on, slyly lowering the volume and hitting play on the next episode. “Okay then, buddy. Whatever you say.”

Peter’s breaths had evened out before the opening sequence could finish.

That night, Tony decided that sleeping on the couch was way underrated.

There wasn’t even a question of what they’d be doing the next morning. He sent Peter wordlessly to shower, ordered a couple of pizzas, and hit play the moment that the kid was re-situated on the couch, wet curls soaking into the front of his t-shirt.

At some point in the middle of the season, during an episode about a witchfinder, he let out an involuntary groan.

It was almost like this kid didn’t want to keep his magic a secret. At the very least, it seemed like he jumped at nearly every opportunity to reveal himself.

Peter flickered his eyes away from the screen and gave Tony a questioning look. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “Merlin’s about as good at keeping his secret as you are at keeping yours.”

“That’s not true!” Peter’s glare just made him look younger. Tony nearly laughed at the way his face scrunched up. “Barely anybody knows I’m Spider-Man!”

“I figured it out, kid.”

“You’re you-”

“Ned.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was-”

“MJ.”

“She’s terrifyingly observant-”

“May.”

“She walked in on me!”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Tony ruffled his hair playfully. “Why don’t you just shout it from the rooftops, huh? Might be a little more efficient, that way.”

Peter blinked, then huffed, physically turning away from Tony and fixing his eyes back on the screen. It was a clear dismissal, despite the fact that didn’t move away from the warmth of his mentor’s side.

The second season’s finale went to credits, and Peter stalled Tony’s hand before he could switch off the TV.

“C’mon, Mister Stark! We could totally watch the next season! It’ll only take, like, a few more hours.”

“Your idea of ‘a few more hours’ is actually about 8 hours, kiddo.”

“And?”

“You need sleep.”

“We’ve stayed up later in the lab.”

“On accident.”

“So?”

He tried his best to mimic May’s I am an adult and you will listen to me voice. “No, Peter.”

He kid blinked up at him imploringly. “Please.”

(The third season was good.)

They watched the two part series finale on Tuesday morning. 

And, frankly, Tony wasn’t sure what he’d expected. But it sure as hell wasn’t… that.

“Just, just, just… just hold me. Please.”

Peter curled himself around Tony with a little whine. He rubbed the kid’s back comfortingly, gaze still transfixed on the screen. “No. He’s not supposed to die, Mister Stark. He’s supposed to live. He’s-He’s the Once and Future King. What about Albion? What about Merlin?”

He wondered if he could sue the BBC for making his kid cry.

“There’s something I want to say…”

“You’re not going to say goodbye.”

“No. Merlin. Everything you’ve done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build…”

“You’d have done it without me.”

“Maybe. I want to say… something I’ve never said to you before. Thank you.”

He watched the character die with a weird feeling in his chest.

He’d never been one for sentiment in general, and certainly not for fictional characters. But… something about Merlin and Arthur had made him think of Peter and himself.

Peter’s voice was small. “Merlin would’ve trade places with him.”

Tony’s answer came so quickly that it surprised him. “Arthur would never want him to.”

You ever try trading places with me, kid, and I’ll kill you my damn self.

“But what’s the point?” There were undercurrents to Peter’s tone that told Tony they weren’t just talking about the show anymore. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one drawing parallels. “If I were Merlin, I’d rather die than live without Arthur.”

He tried not to hear the implicit I’d rather die than live without you in the kid’s words.

“Someone always dies first, kiddo. That’s just life.”

Peter buried his face into Tony’s shirt, sniffling a little. “Yeah, well, I don’t like it.”

He set a gentle hand on the back of his head, shielding him from the screen, the daylight, the world.

“I don’t like this ending, either.”

Tony took a deep breath, focusing on the way his ribs pressed into Peter’s at the apex. “If it makes you feel any better, kiddo, neither do I.”

He’d pondered his death a lot. Once, he’d thought towards it with a perverted sense of lust. 

But Pepper, Rhodey, Peter had changed that. Now, he just felt a peaceful acceptance. He wouldn’t go rushing to his grave but, when the time came, he couldn’t see himself reeling against it, either.

But for the first time, he thought about Peter.

If everything went the way it naturally should, he would die long before the kid.

He’d get to die, and Peter would have to keep living.

His parents’ deaths still left a hollow ache in his chest. He missed his mother with every single breath.

Is that what he’d be doing to Peter, when he died? Leaving him damaged irreparably? Dooming him to a life of sewing up his tattered grief?

He swallowed, hard, and shook his head.

Peter would be okay, because he’d prepare Peter. He’d give him everything he needed to do more than just survive once he and May were both gone.

He was going to make sure Peter thrived.

And he’d do everything he could not to leave the kid like Arthur left Merlin, or like his mother left him. Not violently, not suddenly, not in the heart of some blood-stained tragedy.

He’d linger, if he could. He’d grow old (something he used to shudder at the thought of). He’d give the kid’s kids too much sugar and poke him with his cane and complain about the technology Peter would incorporate into his newest invention to shroud the pride.

As he watched the final credits role over the dark screen, Tony Stark decided that he hated tragedies.

He also decided that he wouldn’t let his own life become one.

[blazehedgehog]

A few weeks before SAGE, I was interviewed by Corentin Lamy of french newspaper Le Monde. I answered questions about why I started SAGE, what I think makes Sonic unique, the origin of fan games, and various community history stuff. It was a lot of fun! You can click above to read the full article, which was published in french (translated, its title is something like "When There's No Good Sonic Games, Fans Develop Their Own"). Corentin also interviewed folks like Rlan for the article, too!

But, well, you know me: I’m long winded as heck. I ended up writing nearly TEN PAGES of text in response to my interview questions.  I went on some kind of deep dives. So, with permission, I have been told it’s okay to publish my responses in full here on my blog. Just follow me behind the “read more” tag...

Corentin: Could you tell me more about the fangame scene? Is it as active nowadays than it was 5, 10 or 20 years ago?

Back in the day, SFGHQ was a huge resource hub. It hosted things used to make games, like graphics and sounds, as well as games themselves. When Rlan (Ryan) moved on, SFGHQ slowly fell into disrepair for a long time. Maintaining the database of files was more work than most people wanted to deal with. The forum community was always active, but people were gradually starting to move on. Maybe not even move on, but spread out a little more. Back in the day, it was difficult to host large files by yourself, so submitting your game to SFGHQ was the only way to put your work out there. That was a big draw. As services like Dropbox grew in popularity, hosting your game on SFGHQ began to matter less, and you started seeing more fangame projects show up in other corners of the Sonic fan community.

As SFGHQ's forums began to slow down, some of the people in charge wanted to revive it by merging with other Sonic fan communities. At one point, SFGHQ merged with another forum called Sonic United, and there were also suggestions being floated about trying to make SFGHQ a part of Sonicretro.org (one of the largest, oldest Sonic fan sites). Eventually the Sonic United merger was undone after Sonic United itself was bleeding users and shut down due to a lack of activity, and Sonic Retro opened their own fan gaming subforum in partnership with SFGHQ, which kinda-sorta meant SFGHQ as a stand-alone entity ceased to exist. SAGE went on like normal, and even grew, actually. Big names started making guest appearances, like a Q&A sessions with Naoto Ohshima (original character designer for Sonic and Dr. Eggman) and Mike Pollock (the current English voice of Dr. Eggman).

SFGHQ itself laid dormant, with years worth of promises about relaunching the site. Last year, as part of SAGE 2017, SFGHQ finally, actually relaunched. Instead of having an administrator manually add content to the site, users are now free to publish and maintain their own files. Unfortunately, it's a forum in the year 2018, so it's been kind of quiet. Most of the discussion tends to happen in the SFGHQ Discord, which is almost always active.

Of course, this is just the Sonic side of things. SFGHQ had a knock-on effect and others tried to make their own fan gaming websites for other gaming franchises. I think the only one that's still around is MFGG (Mario Fangame Galaxy), which even today still remains very reminiscent of what SFGHQ used to be like back in its golden age.

Overall, I'd probably say the fangame scene is more active than ever, though. SFGHQ's rise to fame was helped by the availability of easy-creation tools like Clickteam Fusion and Game Maker. Now, there's even more options for first-time developers getting in to game development, what with Unity, Construct, and even stuff like Twine. Everybody makes games nowadays it feels like, and you can draw a lot of parallels between how a lot of professional creators got their start drawing fanart or writing fanfiction. The more tools there are to make games with, the more likely somebody's first game development project will be a fangame. These people may not all be centralized at SFGHQ anymore, but they're still out there.

Corentin: How big is it? Do most developers know each other? Help each other? Sometimes are jealous of each other?

Back in the day, when everyone was centralized in SFGHQ, everybody knew each other, yeah. We were like one big family (in both good ways and bad). Nowadays, with everyone so spread out, it's almost impossible to keep track of it all. There's always a bunch of games at SAGE I've never heard of before, because they come from Gamejolt or some other fringe community I don't frequent. As a result, I imagine the fan gaming community is fairly large.

People don't usually help each other very much. Not for any kind of rude or territorial reasons, but generally because fangames tend to be a very personal, focused thing, and most people have tunnel vision regarding what they want. Everyone's trying to fulfill their dreams and that usually means going it alone, as everyone else is doing the same thing, with their own dreams. There are always exceptions, though. For a long time, Sonic Epoch, a fangame that continued the 1993 Sonic Saturday Morning Cartoon, was a team of three or four people writing the game's script and two or three musicians. Sonic Robo-Blast 2, one of the oldest fangames still in active development, has probably had dozens of people work on it over the years (I personally worked as a texture artist for them briefly). I also helped out on Sonic Time Attacked, one of the most famous classic fangames. Its developer, Jamie Bailey, was nearing completion on the game, but was struggling to produce the small handful of cutscenes he planned to have. I was kind of known for having nice cutscenes in my games, so I helped him out. Also, nowadays, with the advent of Unity making 3D games more viable, teaming up with multiple people is starting to become increasingly necessary. Sonic Utopia is being developed by at least four or five people, I think. Sonic World, a fangame written in Blitz3D, has probably had a dozen contributors by now. You can't really be a solo developer on those kinds of games, they take too much work.

Jealousy is definitely a problem. It's unsurprisingly difficult to draw the line on what's okay when you're making games that are 99% made from content borrowed from official games. If we're borrowing sprites from Sega without asking, why can't we borrow sprites from each other? The answer was always because that person was a member of the community, and they went to great lengths to custom-make something for their game, so obviously they weren't going to let anyone else use it. But, then, nobody had ever asked Sega if it was okay, so why should any of it be okay? That was occasionally a debate, and never with clear answers. Regardless, there were always accusations flying about who was stealing what from where. In particular, I remember a huge war breaking out over the usage of sprites created by a user with the handle "N8Dawg." He had custom-made a set of sprites all by himself, practically professional quality, and after abandoning his own project, decided to turn his artwork over to the community. But he did not do so publicly; he selected a few individuals that he thought would benefit from his sprites, and very quickly, access to these graphics turned in to sort of status symbol in the community. It was a nightmare. There was a lot of arguing over who got to use those sprites, and who had obtained them officially and who had stolen them from another fangame. Eventually, I think N8Dawg agreed to just release them publicly to stop all the arguing. I still have the files.

Corentin: How do you explain than the Sonic fangame scene is so active? What make Sonic so special? Is that because of the characters? Of the mechanics?

Generally speaking, I think fans make content to fulfill a need they aren't getting from the source material in question. This is why you get fanfiction that is so centered around romantic pairings. If nobody is giving it to them, people will always make what they want to see. Fans started making their own Sonic games after the franchise was more or less put on pause for five years in the mid-1990's. Sonic Team stepped away from Sonic games after making Sonic & Knuckles to try and let things rest, but there were a lot of people out there that were clearly hungry for more. So, they simply started making it themselves. You saw the same thing more recently with AM2R (Another Metroid 2 Remake). By the time that project finished, it had been something like 12 or 13 years since the last 2D Metroid game. Fans just made their own, because that's what they wanted to see.

The funny thing about Sonic is that Sega hasn't really kept the franchise under control. There are many, many different versions of the character, each one unique to itself. The Sonic from the Saturday morning cartoon is a different character from the Sonic in the classic games, which is a different character from the Sonic in the Archie comics, which is a different character from the Sonic in the Fleetway comics, so on and so forth. What this ultimately means is that you have tons people who come to Sonic the Hedgehog for wildly different things. Even narrowing it down just to the games, the Sonic franchise has had enough variance that there's a lot of debate over which games are "the good ones." When you consider what I said earlier about people making things that they want to see, there are a lot of Sonic fans out there who feel as though they aren't being served. Fangames end up a very good way to work out those frustrations.

Unfortunately what this means is that everyone has a different answer for what makes Sonic special. For some, it definitely is the characters. A lot of people were upset when Sonic Adventure 2 was first announced, because early media implied Tails wouldn't be making an appearance in that game. There are people upset right now because characters from the canceled Archie Comics haven't made it over to the new IDW Sonic comics. Other people are more about the game mechanics. The biggest splits there are between people who like the Classic 2D Sonic games, people who like the Sonic Adventure games, and people who like the super fast modern games like Sonic Generations.

Sonic faces some very interest design challenges, I think. The controls in those classic 2D games are still very unique, even among today's games. I think that also contributed to the sense that some fans were being under-served, because for the longest time, through games like Sonic 4, Sega was quite clearly trying to replicate those old games, but they weren't getting it right. Because it's not an easy thing to get right, really. Sometimes, it can almost feel like Sonic is successful by accident, like the stars and the planets align in just the right way at just the right time to produce something that could never exist at any other point in time. That'd certainly explain some things.

Corentin: According to you, Sonic fan games are popular because it's been a while since the last decent old school Sonic game. That's probably a big part of the explanation, but that can be the only one : Metroid fan games aren't as popular, F-Zero fan games aren't as popular, etc. How do you explain than Sonic resonate so much with his fans?

Not to dodge the question more, but I think that’s the riddle a lot of people have tried and failed to solve, even Sega themselves. As I said earlier, Sonic almost seems to be successful by accident. There’s a long story to be told here about Sega in the 90’s, some of which was told in Blake Harris’ “Console Wars” book. The gist is that Sega of America and Sega of Japan didn’t get along. Information I’ve read suggests that Sega of Japan saw themselves as genius artists and Sega of America pushed back against their esoteric ideas because they weren’t seen as financially viable. The two sides were constantly disappointed by each other’s demands, and Sonic was born out of this clash of ideals.

The entire reason it’s been so difficult to nail down what makes Sonic special is because Sonic was not the product of a single person, a single art style, or a single anything. It was more like an inexperienced chef haphazardly adding ingredients to a meal and accidentally making something amazing, but never being able to replicate the recipe.

In Sonic’s case, by the time anyone asked what the recipe for Sonic the Hedgehog was, the whole thing had gained too much momentum to be stopped. When something gets popular enough for a long enough period of time, it ends up taking on a life of its own. Once enough fans embrace it, it cannot be killed or destroyed. Think about Transformers, and how sometimes there were many years between movies or TV shows, but were still Transformers fans out there on message boards or at conventions. There will always be Transformers now, in some form or another, until the eventual extinction of the human race. The same is likely true for Sonic the Hedgehog. I mean, the Sonic franchise has already weathered some pretty dark times, but it’s still here. You couldn’t destroy it if you tried.

If you really want me to define what I think makes Sonic special, I think it’s because there’s never been anything like it. Not in 1991, not in 1999, and not even now. It really comes down to two things:

One, Sonic was one of the first true “characters” in gaming. You had guys like Mario, or Mega Man, that were duty-bound to be heroes. They didn't have much personality beyond that, if they had any personality at all. Sonic had that smirk, he was always waving his finger at the player, or getting visibly impatient if you made him wait around. Sonic brought the next level of characterization to games. That continued through games like Sonic Adventure; having that many playable characters, each with their own narrative threads that wove together in to a larger story was unprecedented in 1999.

Two would be how Sonic plays. We've had games like F-Zero, or Burnout, games that are really really fast, but never anything like the way Sonic does it. Sonic gives you the ways to interact with the world that most fast games shy away from. The best Sonic games make you feel like you're driving a rollercoaster, combined with the controlled chaos of a pinball table. You're supposed to be bouncing off stuff, getting thrown into the air, and feeling a little overwhelmed at first. The danger of losing control is part of the fun, but it's a difficult line to walk, and it has to be in balance with the other elements like platforming or enemy combat. It’s a unique blend of high-speed action with a sharp personality that you can’t get anywhere else.

Corentin: What are the biggest difficulties of developing a Sonic fangame?

Specifically regarding Sonic games, the biggest hurdle is probably control. It's such a big problem that a lot of fans have banded together to write programming guides and even create collections of code to make it easier for newbies to wrap their heads around how it all works. The physics and momentum of how Sonic moves are so tricky to properly implement that not even Sega really does it right, for example with Sonic 4, and they're the ones that invented those physics in the first place.

In general, I also think a lot of people underestimate how much work it takes to finish a game, even when most of the coding is already done for you. A lot of fangames get started, but never finished, because people lose interest before they cross the finish line. Staying focused and keeping perspective are probably the two most important things when it comes to developing any sort of game. You have to know and respect your own limits. You aren't going to make a game in a weekend. Depending on how ambitious you are, you won't even finish making game over a single summer vacation. You have to be ready to commit for the long haul. The best fangames take years and years of work.

Understanding criticism would be another difficulty. Over the years as I've reviewed games at SAGE, I occasionally find someone who gets really upset when I criticize their game. If somebody doesn't like your game, you have to learn to not take it personally. Criticism is valuable data that can be used to make better games in the future, so pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and use that information to improve. There can always be a next time, so don't get discouraged.

Corentin: Few fan games come to fruitition. Do all developers of fan games hope they will finish their game, or are they aware that's very unlikely?

Yes, I think nearly all fangames are started with the intention they’ll be finished some day. I can only speak from my experience, but it really seems like everyone, including me and all my friends, initially gravitated towards fangames when we were young. Especially in that youthful innocence, you never really think about how much effort goes in to something. I remember sending letters to Sega in the Saturn era, 1996 or so, regarding the cancelation of Sonic X-Treme. I tried to give them reasons to keep working on the game, and the things I was suggesting were so incorrect it was beyond the point of comedy and was actually a little bit sad. How movies, or video games, or whatever actually get made seems like a kind of magic until you’re faced with the reality of it all. It’s easy to see how somebody might decide to make and finish a video game without fully realizing how long that’s going to take.

It also depends on your definition of what “finished” means, I guess. I’ve created fangames that are not complete, full games, but I consider the project done, because I finished what I set out to accomplish. Even if that was only a couple of levels and a boss fight.

Corentin: Is Sega ok with fangames?

They seem to be, at least for right now. A few years ago, there was an Unreal Engine fangame, "Green Hill Paradise", and the official Sonic the Hedgehog Twitch account left a comment in their stream chat congratulating them on a job well done and encouraging others to keep making fangames. Sega operates that account, so while it was not a legally binding document, it was at least some kind of official statement of approval.

But I say "at least for right now." Fangames are, according to copyright law, illegal. Technically speaking, so is fanart and fanfiction, because any unauthorized use of copyrighted content is illegal. Fair Use mostly covers educational or academic purposes, which don't apply here. So the only reason fangames, fanart, and fanfiction are okay is if the company in question turns a blind eye to the law. Sega is turning a blind eye to the law right now, but that might not always be the case. Obviously we've had decades worth of fangames at this point, but it only just recently lead to something like Sonic Mania. Hypothetically speaking, a few years from now, maybe somebody changes jobs and now there's a different person overseeing how Sega handles protecting their copyright. Then, this hypothetical person decides fangames are no longer okay and shuts the whole thing down. That could happen, and the law would support it.

Something like that actually happened very recently. Sega opened an online shop where they sell t-shirts and other merchandise, which triggered a wave of cease & desist notices directed at fans who were selling their fanart on shirts through sites like Teespring and Redbubble. Fans have been doing this kind of thing for years, even bringing their custom-made shirts to conventions and selling them there. Again, the law says this is illegal, but Sega never seemed to care before. They turned a blind eye to it. But now Sega is selling their own official shirts, they have manufacturing partnerships they want to protect, and the circumstances changed. They stopped turning a blind eye to it and shut the fans down. So, really, who knows what the future holds.

Corentin: In your Sonic Mania review video, you regret that Sonic Team relies too much on nostalgia. But doesn't nostalgia what drive you as a developer of fangames?

Not always. The very first fangame project I started back in high school was called "Sonic Infinity," which imagined a future where Sonic was brought back to life with cybernetic implants in a world that resembled Mega Man X. I just wanted my games to be popular, so I figured by merging Sonic and Mega Man together, I could be popular in two places at the same time. That was around 1998 or so. I ended up getting bored of that pretty quickly, and a new project caught my attention: a fangame called "Sonic: The Fated Hour" which was to be a Metroid-style Sonic game where you'd explore an open world and find gear upgrades. I started that project around the year 2000. Everyone else was still making fangames that continued the story of Sonic 3 & Knuckles, but I wanted something that felt closer in tone to the Sonic Adventure games, which were current at the time. So it had a lot of story and cinematic sequences with artwork I drew myself.

I spent nine and a half years on The Fated Hour trying to figure out the best way for Sonic to work as a Metroid game before I gave up. When you work on something for that long you start to forget why you even started the project in the first place, so I decided it would be best if I just moved on. I still think about that game from time to time, about ways I could do certain things, but I refuse to let myself get trapped in that cycle again.

Along the way there was also a fangame I was working on called "Shadow of Chaos" that would have parodied how self-serious Sonic games are sometimes. That game didn't even really play like a Sonic game at all. You controlled Shadow, who could shoot guns and drove a Vespa scooter. It was intentionally ridiculous. I ended up getting a lot of friends to help me make levels for that one, but I lost a lot of the files to a hard drive crash. Many years later I ended up finding a backup of those files, but by then, the moment had passed.

And those are just my games. In my Sonic Mania review I had footage of other projects from my friends. There was “Thirdscape”, which was part of a trilogy of fangames about an alien invasion. The game took place many years after Sonic Adventure, and featured a grown-up Tails that was taller than Sonic. After Sonic Adventure 2, a lot of fangames were Sonic and Shadow working together, like Aytaç Aksu’s “Chaomega” and Showoffboy’s “Sonic Ki”. Then you had truly weird games, like TLSPRWR’s “Sonic Bible Adventure”, which fittingly takes Sonic through the events of the bible, or RC’s “Crazy Cabbie Sonic” where Sonic must deliver pedestrians to their destination before time runs out, like in Crazy Taxi.

Then you even have games like “Freedom Planet”, which originally started out as a Sonic fangame starring “Lilac the Hedgehog” as she traversed Dragon Valley collecting gold rings. Now, Freedom Planet is an original game starring Lilac the Dragon, available to purchase on Steam, Wii U, Playstation 4, and soon, Nintendo Switch, with a sequel in active development.

The connecting thread is that these were all side-scrolling games, but that was more about the limitations of the tools than any real desire to focus on nostalgia. The fangaming boom happened because of easy-to-use game creation software, but that software was universally limited to making 2D games only. Making 3D games often meant knowing real programming languages. The only 3D fangame for the longest time was “Sonic Robo-Blast 2”, which itself mainly started as a mod for Doom 2. In the big picture, Unity is a fairly recent invention, and we’re only just now starting to see a larger number of fangames using it.

If there was a focus on nostalgia, it was largely because those old Genesis games are the most universally beloved. It’s like I said earlier, fans tend to create the things they want to see. So you had a lot of fangames over the years about returning to Green Hill Zone. I think it was that fact by itself that probably pushed Sega to invest so much more heavily in nostalgia with Sonic 4, which in turn sparked even more nostalgia-focused fangames from fans determined to right Sonic 4’s wrongs. In a sense, that’s sort of why we have Sonic Mania now.

Corentin: What are the 3 or 4 best fan games people should absolutely give a try?

Sonic Robo-Blast 2 is unique to fangames insofar as it’s big enough to support its own community. It’s worth looking in to just to see how far the development team has taken the Doom engine; they converted a first person game in to a fairly decent 3D platformer. There’s also a huge modding community for the game, and an active multiplayer scene. Though it’s not ready yet, the next big update to SRB2, version 2.2, will finally overhaul the entire game to add proper support for sloped surfaces, something Doom didn’t originally support. It’ll probably be the most significant update the game’s ever had in its 20 year development. (trailer for 2.2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cfK3EWnn2E)

I don’t want to be negative, but a lot of people would probably say Sonic: Before the Sequel or Sonic: After the Sequel. Those are two games by LakeFepard, who managed to crank them out in record time. Something like a year each, maybe less. They’re very creative games with incredible soundtracks that rival even official Sonic games. But something about them has always felt a little “off” to me in a way that’s hard to describe, and recently Lake has apparently had a falling out with SFGHQ. I’m not really in the loop on the drama, though, which is probably for the best.

I’d recommend Hez’s “Sonic Classic.” It’s a massive fangame that was inspired by Sonic 4. It can feel a little messy, but its heart is in the right place, and there’s tons of stuff in it. It was almost like having Sonic Mania before Sonic Mania even existed.

That’s already four, but gosh, there’s more. Petit Hedgehog is just a demo, but it’s a cute Sonic-Advance-inspired game with 100% original graphics. I’d also recommend OzcrashSonic’s Sonic World, which I mentioned earlier, because it’s so big and complex; it has something like 30 playable characters and 50 levels, it’s nuts. Sonic vs. Darkness is also just a demo, but it’s a fantastic game in the style of Sonic Rush. There’s probably more, but those are the games I think about a lot.

Corentin: Could you tell me more about SAGE? Why did you start it? You're not responsible of it anymore, right?

No, I’m no longer responsible for organizing SAGE. The people handling SAGE now still check in with me from time to time when they want my opinion on big decisions, but I mostly just cover the event by writing reviews for the games available. It’s been long enough that I my memory is a little fuzzy, but I think I did the first four events, two every year, until I gave it up. I was going through some difficult emotional things in my life at that time, and the additional stress of putting together something like that was having a negative impact on my life. Since then, it’s grown to become much bigger than something I could have accomplished on my own.

The first SAGE was on September 9th, 2000, one year after the launch of the Sega Dreamcast in North America. I was still in high school at the time.

I started it because it was hard to talk about my fangame projects with anyone who wasn’t already in SFGHQ. There was a long-running stigma fangames faced; many people thought they were a form of piracy. They were put in to the same category as pirated bootleg games you’d see on the black market. So it was impossible to have a conversation or get much coverage on gaming-oriented sites.

I think it was around this time I started reading a website called Insert Credit and learning of what Japan called their “doujin gaming” scene. Doujin is a Japanese word often used to describe fan-created content, and in Japan, you can sometimes find doujin manga sold on shelves right next to the official thing. Now there were doujin games -- Japanese fangames -- that were gaining traction on the internet. That kind of acceptance was fascinating to me.

So I started SAGE to try and bring that kind of acceptance over to what my friends and I were doing. I wanted to dispel the stigma that fangames were a type of piracy. Or, at least, not any closer to piracy than fanart or fanfiction.

It didn’t really work. We got a couple smaller sites to post a small blurb about the very first year SAGE launched, but nobody bigger than that would touch it. The stigma remained.

SAGE ended up being successful as a secondary function, as it gave the community milestones to orbit around. Instead of just making games and releasing them whenever, now people were working to get things ready to show at SAGE. Milestones like that are something professional studios use throughout game development to measure progress, and SAGE gave the fangaming community something similar to strive towards. It created a healthier structure for making fangames, and to be honest, it had done so kind of by accident. It wasn’t until many years after I stopped doing SAGE that I realized the entire reason it’s still around is because it became that anchor for development.

And, in the long run, I think SAGE lasting for 18 years did end up helping fight back against that stigma, even if it wasn’t immediately apparent back when I first started. The stigma still exists, you still get comments from people who don’t understand why someone would risk spending all of that time on a fangame that might get shut down, but at least the conversation is more open now than it ever has been.

Capcom sponsored a fangame a few years ago called “Street Fighter x Mega Man”. Microsoft has openly stated they’re fine with fan-content of their original properties, which has lead to things like the “Red vs. Blue” Youtube series and Halo fangames like “Installation 01.” Valve has been increasingly open with its fan community, even co-publishing a fan-remake of the original Half-Life, called “Black Mesa.”

And, of course, we now have Sonic Mania, whose team is made up almost entirely of old SFGHQ users.

Somewhere along the line, SAGE may have helped bridge some of those gaps. That’s pretty cool.

[a-for-alternative]

[B]’s Age: An Analysis ♰

Though B's age is never stated in canon material, the prevailing belief is that he is an adult in 2002. This is based Naomi’s first encounter with him [038-039 EN] under his Rue persona, describing him as a young man that is fairly tall. 

But, is it possible to make an guesstimate B’s age?

This considers his [1] physical attributes as described in DNAN, the potential for his age to be predicted by  [2] patterns within the LABB case itself, and predictors for when L became L to generate  [3] the first generation…

♰    — — Rue’s Attributes: — —    ♰

It is possible for B to have been younger or older than the age Naomi (then 26) perceived him as? -- It would be easy to assume, based on Naomi’s assessment, he must be older than an early teenager - probably in the later or final stages of puberty (16+)... However, B is under disguise and the extent of that disguise is not truly known.

♰  His Appearance:  The reader is lead from the point of introduction to draw parallels between B's appearance and L's.  Naomi herself has nothing to make the comparison with given that she has never met L. Despite meeting L in the final chapter of DN:AN, it states she thought she never met L [051]. With L being secretive and reclusive, he is the only one in the story (besides perhaps our narrator) that can appreciate the similarities and perhaps he does -- Upon their 2nd call, Naomi having just met the mysterious Rue, L make a rather odd inquiry, "Was he cool?" [055] This scene is most likely intended to inject some humor and not actually provide useful information. But to have him ask something like this leads one to assume that L indeed saw these similarities (the potential cameras at the crime scenes, is a subject for another post but statements made at scene 4 make it very likely). Though the fact that L could recognize their similaries is good evidence that he probably looked like a strange 20-something year old man... To whatever extend B resembles L, when Naomi encounters L in the subway, she does feel a sense of familiarity but does not seem to see them as remarkably identical. [172]  Her assessment of L can be summed up as a realization of how phony Rue looked in comparison.

♰  His Height: Naomi seems to see this person is fairly tall, though about 2 heads shorter due to his slouch. But, it is not stated if he is wearing shoes --even his height is not completely beyond question

♰  His voice: Naomi made no comment on his voice when he is caught off guard ( abruptly stepped on [119] and screaming in pain [152] ) this may be reliable indicator that he is at least not faking his voice and perhaps beyond puberty -- but that's based on what isn't rather than what is.

♰  Age restricted activities: Some also look to his ability to drive as an indication of age - specifically, license eligibility. Traveling from Winchester to LA, to acquire his multiple 'lairs' [095], and ultimately his placement in prison. But with Wammy's not knowing his name [117] he doesn't have an identity that exists on record -- essentially, if he does have identifying documents, the information wasn't necessarily accurate.

But, we can draw on other information.

♰    — — Patterns in the LABB Case — —    ♰

Within the case B constructed and even within the date of this death, there are 13’s everywhere.

The days that the victims are to die make a single B, the months make a single L (July) or BB (August). Notice that DNAN ends on ch.7 with an L as the cover and that volume 7 is L upside down… 7, an upside down L.

The day upon which Beyond dies, both the day and month together make a single B.

The pattern of days – 9 days, 4 days, 9 days , 9 days – make a 13 and then total to make a 31.

Even the ages of the victims first begin with 44 (1+3 1+3) then 13, then 28 which is in the middle of the previous 2.

… The only factor that does not go cleanly into a 13 is that middle age 28,     28 could be read as 2  4 + 4 —>  2   1+3 1+3

If we speculate that the ages have a pattern that would lead to 13 then 28 needs something to complete it. 

Could 28 add up to another 13, if we used the next age (B’s age) ?

Since Beyond is not going to be laying face down at death, and does not have the initials QQ, we can assume he is an adult (based on the patterned of the other victims).    That means we have these possibilities:  20, 29, 33

Which best fits?

Each has potential though it is 20 and 33 that fit best,

20 allows us to get to 4 – B is the 4th victim and 4 is very special because it not only is 1+3 but it sounds like death (死). It also allows for us to continue the pattern that this age will be between the previous two victims ages.

33 allows us to get two 13s which completes the pattern of the adults having two 13s and the one child having only one.

The ages added up – 105, 114, 108 could be read as dates: 

1/5 || 10/5 ,  1/14 || 11/14 , 1/8  || 10/8   --- These dates could be factored into something significant though that could be too much speculation…

[20] 1/5 || 10/5 – The day L looks over the FBI agents deaths in videos – 1 month before L’s death, 2 months before Mello leaves Wammy’s – If flipped you get May 1, the month B runs away – If flipped to get May 10th and assume B runs away on this day, then we get 620 days until his death (62 = 31 + 31).

[29] 1/14 || 11/14 – 0 nothing – A day before Light takes over as 'L’ – four days after Mello’s name is revealed and he blows up his base

[33] 1/8  || 10/8 – The Yagamis are put under L’s surveillance – Matsuda fakes his death – NPA director is abducted by Mello’s Mafia members

♰    — — The First Generation — —    ♰

B was brought into Wammy's at an unknown age but, given that Wammy's did not know his name [117], his identity was probably discarded because he was an experimental successor for L. --- he was brought with that purpose in mind.

---- This is important because it means he probably wasn't brought in until L became L, the detective.

It is worth noting that in L: Change the World (Novel), mentions DNAN and is credited to “M”.  It states, “...Only one serving a purpose above all others, gathering particularly intelligent children regardless of nationality, race, or gender -- The Wammys House. Not serving as a formal academic institution, Wammy's House invites professors, researchers, and specialists from around the world to give the chilkdren instruction befitting their abilities and potentials. The ultimate purpose of these child is to serve as safe gaurds of the world."  [013]  From this, we can gather that these children must not arrive with identities, because obviously their peers and instructors would remember these true names, if they were later selected to become a letter (K in this novel only learns she has earned her letter years after running away at 16 and her name is not the factor that clues L into who she is and her history, coming from Wammys House. This means they probably did not have a record of her name, or L during his confrontation with her would have already known who she is. Additionally, this might explain why Matt also doesn’t seem to have a name on official files. Volume 8 also states the same that DNAN does, that Wammy’s does not know the names of these children.

One thing worth mentioning in regards to true-names that can be  written in the death note, is that it does NOT need to be legal or official or name designated at birth. In "Death Note: New Generation" Episode 3, a new Kira is trying and fails to kill the murderer of a 7 year old child. This person's legal, documented, birth-name is not their true name. This is because this person is trying to leave that part of their past behind and has taken on a new name, this is a name that they identity with, not the name that is legally documented for them.  This former killer, has changed their surname and it is only by using this undocumented surname that Kira is able to kill them.

This means that when B entered Wammy’s, he not only had no documented name but also if he did rename himself, it could become his true name -- regardless of any formal documentation, legal identity, or given birth name that had existed.

DN:AN & L: FILE № 15 offer a general idea of when that occurred.

Mello was originally going to talk about 3 stories: (1) LABB, (2) Watari meeting L, and (3) the bioterror case in which L obtained the code names of Eraldo Coil and Deneuve. (X, Y, and Z making a guest appearance). [170] 

►   “...そして世界一の発明家キルシュ・ワイミーことワタリと、 当時推定八歳のLとの出会いー世紀の名探偵L誕生の きっかけとなった、第三次世界大戦をすんでのところで 食い止めたウィンチェスター爆弾魔事件についての、詳 細記述を続けようと思っていたのだが、それだけの容量 は、どう楽観的に見積もっても、残っていないようだ...”

There is a line following Mello describing Watari and L meeting, suggesting that L becoming the greatest detective and the Winchester case would be part of the story but not the story [ Roughly: “... meeting the estimated 8 year old L --- I was thinking of going into detail...”  -on L becoming the greatest detective and the Winchester bomb case that stopped WWIII.]  It is a matter of how you want to read it, it could be read ‘they meet -- these are a few events that happened in the recent time of their knowing each other’ or ‘they meet -- these are the events of that meeting’.  However, despite 8 being an estimation and the uncertainty of where L’s birth as the greatest detective lands, is where we begin the timeline.

★ Note: It is worth pointing out this might be contradiction with the 2-chapter manga in "L: FILE № 15" [JNP&EN Ch.2] seems to imply that L discovered his investigative passions a while after his discovery by Watari.

Between age 8 (1987) and death (2004), 4 generations of successors begin. One evenly divide up the generations temporarily but there is nothing suggesting they were separated by equal measures of time. It also wouldn't help place B, since he is in the first generation -- by default will be towards the beginning (1987+)

B's true age is indeterminable but we can assume:

-- He is a child in 1987 (referred to as the 2nd child)

-- He is a young man in 2002 ( based on Naomi's description)

-- He is at least 5+ in 1987

★  Why at least 5 years old?

He is aware of when his parents death's are to occur. Assuming B has access to an ordinary education before his induction into Wammy's, the numerical symbols had meaning and were not just a set of lines and curves. He also knew how to apply them mathematically. Children begin to learn these things around this age so 5+, so it would be reasonable.

In addition, Wammy's could have been his first introduction to Roman (Latin) symbols (A, B, C) -- this he may have been the time he connected the similarity between 13 and B. And that L being the 12th symbol is < 13.

Plans for successorship probably did not begin immediately after L’s first case at around age 8 - not until L became L, the detective -- having become so important that they needed backups. So, assuming it began a few years after:

L is 22 going on 23 in DN:AN. Mello states he solved over 3,500 cases [010] , considerable given that there was only 25 years between the first case and death. Assuming he was solving them at such a fast rate (~140/yr), he could have been only 9 or 10 at the time they began experimenting with successors.

Potential Age Ranges:

★ Note: This also allows B to have obtained the akazukin chacha manga as it was serialized (~1991-2000) as he boasts that he had. It may make more sense why he started reading them – he was a young child. (7-12)

[Additional point brought up by @extrxmegxnius ]:

B also claims to have watched the anime which was broadcast in Japan from 1994-1995 then in other countries in 1998 (Philippines, China, and some other countries in Southeast Asia). So, either B would have had to request copies of these episodes or he would have been in one of these areas where it was broadcast. 

One could estimate him to be older. Though successors (with appearances) that could have been part of the first generation have no known ages.. A few appear to be around the same age as L -- one being stated as the first of their letter and could be part of the 1st gen (K).

In conclusion: Though B's age is indeterminable, evidence supports that B was a young adult in 2002,  a child in 1989, and was at least 5 when he arrived at Wammy's house sometime after 1989.

[mdcbk-fanblog]

Ep. 63 Reactions!!!!

Ok so this is my first post on this blog but I hope to make this a more regular thing now that life’s not strangling me, but anyway here are my…..

Ep. 63 Reactions!!!!

-First off a recap of that yummy kissing scene between my otp is always a plus

-And yup starting right where the last episode left off with Katsu seeing the stupidly stubborn henna tattoo thing

-MEI ANSWER HIM

-Ok, I understand your worried about your younger brother but come on, as long as you talk in hushed tones and makes sure he doesn’t do anything reactionatory then you’re fine so JUST TELL HIM MEI

-NO MEI DON’T CRY LET ME HUG YOU I KNOW IT’S HARD BUT HE WANTS TO HELP YOUUUUUU!!!!!!

-Actually started balling when Mei let that first tear fall

-Not even remotely through the first few panels and already an emotional rec

-Ok can I just say great use of body language with not only saying plainly that Mei is Hiding something from Katsu but also showing her back to him which is symbolic of when someone is hiding something of them hiding their face

-Idk I just really like it when authors use body language properly

-Really wish I had emoji’s to use in google docs

-GOOD FOR YOU MEI TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON

-THAT PANEL OF ONLY HIS LIPS BETTER MEAN HE’S GETTING READY TO POUND KOZUKE’S BUTT

-YA GO KILL KOZUKE HE MADE MEI CRY!!!!!!!

-Ok Mei I know you are very worried about your brother but let's get real here katsu can handle this just please do what he says

-Bets on that she either doesn’t do what Katsu says or convinces him to do something different

-The tears are coming out of her eyes :=(

-YAY USE THAT RED TO SHOW HOW ANGRY HE IS MRS. LIFELIGHT

-LIKE HELL HE CAN’T MEI!

-YOUR HIS BOO!

-That dark descent into blood king is nice

-Also good tactic because reminding Mei of who he is is probably the only way to convince her to stay

-PLEASE MEI STAY THERE MY HEART CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS

-Ok I got a lot of hate for Ryusaki already and seeing him and katsu interact will probably build that up even more

-Ryusaki god just withdraw Mei it’s just smart at this point she should have been withdrawn long ago she is still good bait even out of the core just give her self defense training don’t let your ego get in the way

-What's with the “already”

-LIKE HELL YOU CAN’T PULL HER OUT

-Sorry for all the caps I have been content deprived for the last couple of weeks and am not use to this level of drama yet

-FOR THE GOOD OF THE KINGDOM MY ASS

-What does the Kihara family mean to anyone really because at this point it is clear that even before Kozuke(Yuta??) That the Kihara family was special, one does not have a son in the best trained army force then just be a “Poor farming family”

-BITCH WHO THE MISTRESS

-ALSO YOU AIN’T KING AND AS LONG AS I STAND YOU WILL NEVER BE KING SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND TAKE HERE OUT OF YOUR STUPID POWER TRIP FORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Ryusaki GTFO

-BITCH YOU DID JUST NOT INSINUATE THAT

-YOU GO KATSU PUNCH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Like hell this isn’t up for him to decide

-To be real though Katsu should never have given power to someone so power hungry like Ryusaki no matter how good of “friends” they are

-BITCH WHAT

-LITTLE BROTHER

-LITTLE BASTARD SON THEORY FROM WAY BACK THEN CONFIRMED!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

-Oh god there's more

-Usually it would stop after this

-Mrs. Lifelight you're spoiling us

-Yup and if anyone knows, you don’t want to be compared to Katsu’s father

-I refuse to acknowledge Ryusaki anymore

-He’s going back to just being the Lieutenant

-Honestly why Lieutenant

-BITCH KATSU IS JUST FINE TAKE TEN STEPS BACK YOURSELF AND LOOK AT YOUR LITTLE RUNAWAY GIRL FRIEND YOURSELF

-CALL HIM OUT KASTU

-NOT DISTRACTED MY GLUTES

-You just now figured that out Katsu

-Seriously Lieutenant GTFO

-You deserve nothing

-DRAW YOUR SWORD YOU GARDENING TOOL

-THIS IS ONE HELL OF AN END TO A CHAPTER

-I’M SHOOK

-Ok so a lot happens I’ll try to get the analysis up tomorrow and theories up by -mid week

-But man

-I’m ready man

-10/10

-Also 95% sure either Mei is following Katsu or she is going to get up to trouble in some other part of the palace and the general (who I have grown to like more) is left to sweep up the pieces

-Man though seriously I hope this is a parallel to the early episode when we saw Katsu on the ground beten but now he will stand victorious while The Lieutenant (who is stand in Kozuke) is on the ground

-Please

-Also Lieutenant Mei is a smart cookie and at least Katsu can see that unlike you who is only sees her jiggly pats

Ok enough ranting. This was worth every second of the wait and I hope that Mrs. and Mr. Lifelight have an easy time taking care of their baby. I’m surprised that she is coming back so fast considering Rise From Ashes took a pretty long hiatus so I hope this isn’t to much of a stain for her but anyway tell me your reactions and tell me about your theories and I’ll see you all soon Bye!!!

[iztarshi]

Duel Patterns

I’m procrastinating so hard I wrote long, rambly Utena meta.

Miki gets the most straightforward pattern to his duels.

Miki > Kozue with Miki’s sword > Miki and Kozue

Perhaps because of this it feels like he doesn’t really change much, though? His duels start and end with the same problem, and the final duel just plays it out. Miki is easily convinced to duel, but irresolute while duelling because he feels (…fairly enough, I suppose) that the duels make him impure, and doesn’t want to risk his own invincible innocence. Kozue is unable to resist acting out to get Miki’s attention, even when she knows it’s only making things worse. Kozue distracts him by making out with Anthy, Miki can’t keep going in the face of that, and acting at cross-purposes causes them to crash — Miki is hit by the car Kozue was in.

Juri’s duels would follow the same pattern, but the addition of Ruka spreads the final duel out over two, with Ruka and Shiori, and Ruka and Juri. It’s hard to say whether the pattern disruption helps or hinders Juri’s arc. Considering Ruka had to first manipulate and then bargain to get her to duel at all, it seems as if she might simply have made good on bowing out without his interference. Ultimately, she doesn’t wind up so far from where she started either. She wanted to either confess to Shiori or be free of her — by the end she’s still struggling with that, even with the locket gone.

The badminton game takes Juri and Miki into trying to let go and form new relationships (with Utena) instead, which is good. In the post-revolution sequences, though, it seems to be Kozue and Shiori who are finding themselves and changing their behaviour. Although perhaps Miki and Juri letting up helped with that.

Saionji and Touga have a different pattern. Their Black Rose duels are almost irrelevant (Touga’s especially). Saionji might have been sincerely grateful to Wakaba, but she doesn’t have anything like the hold on him Kozue and Shiori have on Miki and Juri. Wakaba and Keiko more bring out the theme of the Black Rose arc itself — people who feel like they’re nobodies reaching for those who are somebodies.

Outside the Black Rose arc Touga and Saionji often echo each other’s duels. In the first arc the first and last duels Utena fights are against Saionji and Touga, and both end with the other with the Sword of Dios and her with a broken sword. Both boys fight her twice, too. There’s also the “the Sword of Dios has no special powers”/“the Sword of Dios has special powers and you didn’t know about them” echo, as Touga reveals what he knew that Saionji didn’t.

There’s also the unscheduled trip to the arena, which isn’t really a duel, and definitely not part of Akio’s patterns (he went surprisingly easy on Touga for how near that came to revealing a few key things about the nature of the duelling arena) but in a way it’s the centre of Saionji and Touga’s arc in the first set of duels. For one thing it reveals their connection to Utena and how much her own formative experience was theirs too. Even if the part she remembers of it has become distorted into a fairytale by time and she no longer remembers it clearly enough to see herself in the despairing girl they couldn’t save.

For another it lays bare the worst of them. Saionji may say he loves Anthy, and even acknowledges that fighting to own her is probably not congruent with that, but he’s still going to do it in order to defeat Touga. However much he wants it to be about saving either Anthy or the girl in the coffin, in the end he’s reaching for his lost friendship and tries to grasp eternity rather than helping Anthy when she appears in a coffin.

Touga manipulates the whole thing, willing to get his former friend expelled in order further his own chances of winning Akio’s power. He’s also willing to throw himself in front of a sword for it — never let it be said Touga doesn’t risk himself for his own ambition.

Saionji and Touga’s final duels are even more mirrors, and they wind up mirroring Utena and Anthy in the final arc too.

Saionji’s duel doesn’t fit the new pattern, because it establishes it. He’s the only one of the duelists to go on without a bride. But that’s because this duel is establishing Anthy as Utena’s bride. Until now, Anthy’s been giving the Sword of Dios to Utena as she would to any other duelist, but, when it vanishes, Anthy — acting of her own will in direct opposition to Saionji having just been convinced she doesn’t have one — draws Utena’s. And does so with great tenderness. The shadow play about teamwork seems to be aimed both at Anthy and Utena — who now have to rely on their bond to fight — and the future duelists who will have to try to do the same.

Saionji also learns a few things this episode, but they seem to take a while to sink in. He goes back to duel feeling special because he’s been singled out for attention by End of the World and doesn’t yet know this is the new pattern, but his motives haven’t changed. (I appreciate Utena and Miki both being like “You’ve changed? How exactly?”) It seems to sink in later both that he wasn’t special and has been duped once again, and that Akio saving the girl in the coffin means Touga doesn’t have any special access to eternity either and being equal to him doesn’t require duelling.

Having ended Saionji’s motivation for duelling to catch up with Touga, Touga’s duel episode explains Touga’s motivation for duelling to gain Akio’s power. Intriguingly, Saionji — amazingly the voice of reason by this point — thinks becoming like Akio is a terrible idea. There’s been a chain of toxic masculinity with Saionji imitating Touga who is imitating Akio, but meeting the actual source seems to have soured Saionji on the whole thing. Not that it stops him being a jerk in many ways, but he’s found some chill.

Their duel seems to highlight their relationship as much as Anthy and Utena’s. Especially with a shot of Saionji’s eyes as he draws Touga’s sword that’s very similar to a shot of Anthy’s eyes during the duel with Saionji as she drew Utena’s. They can’t defeat Utena and Anthy —  their relationship is still very new and in attacking from the motorbike they’re still trying to duel from a shoddy copy of Akio’s system. Their motivations are also… not great. Touga thinks he needs to own Utena to protect her — to be fair, a mistake Utena herself has made with regards to Anthy — and Saionji doesn’t have a problem with this logic so much as he believes the duels themselves are a no win game with any motivation at this point.

The juxtaposition where they’re in Akio’s room posing half-naked on his car while Miki and Juri play badminton with Utena is one of the creepier effects in a creepy series. Miki and Juri are finding a certain amount of freedom through Utena. Touga and Saionji, in spite of the fact that they’re rooting for Utena at this point, are stuck with Akio. (In some ways paralleling them with Anthy, who is still very much not free of his influence yet.)

And, while the Student Council splits  in half along those lines, Nanami isn’t quite in either half.  She attends the badminton game but doesn’t join it and, rather than asking Utena what she will do, tries to warn her off as Touga and Saionji do later. She knows more than Miki and Juri, and isn’t as tangled up in it as Touga and Saionji.

Nanami’s duels follow an in-between pattern too. Tsuwabuki’s Black Rose duel doesn’t really add to the pattern, but he’s not as detached from her as Wakaba and Keiko are from Saionji and Touga. The fact that his initial motivation was to be a big brother like Touga makes him, maybe, a bit of a stand in, which is relevant because Touga is central to Nanami’s two actual duels.

Looking at the pattern of Nanami’s own duels what I mostly get is… fuckery. Nanami gets the weirdest and most disturbing push into duelling of anyone, especially the second time. I think there are two reasons for this.

First she’s being manipulated in two, not entirely synchronised, ways. If you look at her first duel, it seems doubtful that Touga knew why Anthy gave him a kitten, or that it was part of getting Nanami to duel. I don’t think he knew where the blood type compatibility test was going at first, either. His first reaction is to ignore it until Nanami starts rambling about how it has to be wrong, because she and her parents get along so well, and then snap that he’s not interested. If he’d known where it was going, I think he’d have either encouraged her or discouraged her more thoroughly. Instead, he just doesn’t wanna hear it.

Second, Akio’s also manipulating Touga and it’s in Akio’s interest if he can be pushed to burn his own emotional connections to the ground. I think this ties into the first one, in that Touga may not have known where the blood type compatibility test had gone until Nanami told him she wasn’t coming home because he wasn’t really her brother. And that’s right in front of Akio, who Touga wants to impress with his coldness, meaning that any chance of him comforting her or picking anything but the most cruel and opportunistic response was right out.

The lengths to which Touga goes to make it more awful than it needed to be, including staging that conversation with Keiko, are on his own head though.

Both times Nanami ends up in tears. The first time Touga comforts her, seemingly more for Utena’s benefit than hers, and the second time he just ignores her. Neither time did he expect her to win or want her to.

Nanami’s ending is also the most ambiguous. Miki and Juri have found a way to carry on caring about the people they loved without it being an all consuming obsession. Touga and Saionji have each other, and there’s at least some hope in that for them. Nanami’s a little close and a little distant, making tea for the boys rather than interacting with them. Given that it’s been three months I sort of hope the fact that she’s interacting with Touga at all means there was one hell of an apology somewhere in there…

[lycanresistance]

Aarmau Isn't That Great - A Deconstructive Analysis On Aaron And Aphmau’s Relationship.

Aarmau Isn't That Great - A Deconstructive Analysis On Aaron And Aphmau’s Relationship.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m NOT trying to say “Aarmau is bad, so you should ship Garmau/Laurmau/Zanemau/etc.!” I personally don't care for those ships at all. This is specifically about how Aaron deserves better. Also, I’m NOT trying to say Jess and Jason’s relationship is unhealthy -- I think they're extremely good for each other. I'm talking about the fictional characters Aaron and Aphmau, who while being based on them, are separate entities from those real people. Please keep that in mind.

Also, if you're going to reply “I can ship whatever I want!!! Don't attack me!!! No ship hate!!!” right now just don't. Being critical of media is in no way hating on it and if you think a criticism backed with canon evidence is hate, then please go outside.

Anyways, warnings for discussion of child abuse/neglect under the cut.

So, to start this off, I'm going to state something that is both canon and important to this particular meta: Aaron was abused by his parents, Derek and Rachel Lycan (more by Derek, but I'm not excusing her actions either). It's canon and displayed in several episodes, particularly Heartbreak in PDH S2, the entirety of his appearances in Falcon Claw University, Lover’s Lane, and in the flashbacks in Emerald Secret. This is touched on a lot of Aaron’s aphmau wikia page if you want to read up on it.

In Falcon Claw University, Aaron is being kept in isolation and treating as a monster by Derek and the people Derek has hired to keep Aaron away from people. This causes this exchange between them in FCU EP.1, “Meeting In Person”:

Aaron: I can't say.

Aphmau: Huh?

Aaron: I can't say why I've been gone for two years without saying a word. It's a private matter and it's hard to bring up. I can't tell you if I’ve changed as a person, because I don't even know myself as it stands. But what I do know is that I want to be your friend so bad. I really did miss you, and I hope you can understand.

Aphmau: Can I ask, if you ever get the courage to tell me… would you?

Aaron: Yes. I would.

This conversation is very sweet at first glance until you realize that it never actually paid off. Roughly ten years pass from this conversation to current day and Aaron never told Aph about how Derek treated him and never told him he was an Ultima until outed by Ein. While we don't know why for certain, it can definitely be read as Aph dismissing his feelings often. For example, in EP.2 of the Mystreet Holiday Special, “Aaron’s Dad,” when Aphmau invited his family over without telling him they have a conversation at the beginning:

Aaron: My dad… [sighs.] I haven't seen or talked to him in such a long time. I don't know what to prepare you for.

Aphmau: Hey, Aaron… however your dad is, I’m sure he's fine. Besides, it's the holidays! Holiday magic is sure to make him at least somewhat pleasant.

Aaron: It's sweet of you to think that way, but --

Aphmau: Upupup! Holiday magic. Now, let's get back downstairs before your mom and my mom kill each other!

Aaron: But --

Aphmau: Holiday magic, Aaron. Holiday magic!

[Aphmau leaves, leaving Aaron behind.]

She continues to dismiss his feelings regarding his family in EP.24 of Mystreet S3: Lover’s Lane, “The Break-Up”:

Aphmau: Thanks, Aaron. We'll spend more time tomorrow. I promise.

[Flashback.]

Rachel: We'll spend more time tomorrow, Aaron. I promise.

[End of Flashback]

Aaron: (to himself) Why can't I get myself to tell her about these memories? How I'm feeling... I just want to support her and see her happy. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

So here we're drawing parallels between Rachel (Aaron’s mom) and Aphmau. Not the best comparison for Aaron, considering how (as shown in later episodes of Lover's Lane), Rachel continuously manipulates him:

Rachel: I'm so proud of you for coming back home.

Aaron: It wasn't an easy choice to make.

Rachel: Nor was it an easy choice for us to take time off last week, but we wanted to be with you and Melissa.

Aaron: I have to admit, I was skeptical about coming back home.

Rachel: As were we. I mean, the thought of you running off again? Why, it would just your father and mine's heart.

TL;DR of the Lover’s Lane finale just in case you forgot (or didn't watch, in which case, you should, cause it's a good finale): Rachel steals Aaron’s phone to try to keep him from getting back in touch with Aph or his friends. Aaron finds out, and, realizing that his parents haven't changed and goes back home.

After this, Aaron seems to be moving on from his parent’s influence. For example, take what he says in Aaron’s Ticket (the season 4 prequel) EP.1:

Derek: I'll pay you a lot for this!

Aaron: ...Normally, I wouldn't listen to you, but…

Aaron only takes the job because he needs the money. This shows that he is no longer putting up with how his parents treat him.

But now, he's on vacation with them in Starlight. Post-Emerald Secret they got what they wanted back in Lover’s Lane: to force Aaron back into their life. Most likely because of Emerald Secret EP.17, where Aphmau and Derek have a heart to heart of sorts where Derek realizes 30 years too late he ruined his son’s life and makes a half assed apology while Aphmau cries, and the Derek (and by extension, Rachel) decide that everything is now good and they can go back to being one big happy nuclear family.

Narratively, it's just bad writing, but I love Jess, so I’m going to ignore that and take it literally. Meaning: Aaron, in all of his of being with Aphmau, never, ever worked up the courage to actually tell her about his parents - even post Lover’s Lane.

Now, there is a just as likely alternative that he has told her and, like in the holiday special, she ignored him, but if that's the case that would mean she's a hypocrite who, despite saying she does, fundamentally doesn't care about her fiancé’s well being or mental health. I'm going to analyze the first one instead, because if it's the second one she's a terrible person and I like to think she's simply flawed.

Now you might be saying, “But him not telling her isn't a personal thing! He just doesn't have the courage to talk about it with anyone!” Wrong, because he does discuss it with someone - in Her Wish EP.3:

Renee: How long have you been cooking?

Aaron: Uh...since I was young. My parents weren't always around, so I learned to cook my favourite things on my own.

Renee: Why weren't your parents around?

Aaron: They, uh…

Renee: Did they die when you were young?

Aaron: No! No, they were always working. They weren't always around when I needed help.

Let this sink in for a minute: we get more of Aaron opening up about his trauma to the (supposed) teenage cousin of his fiancée than his *actual fiancée.* Kind of messed up. He also confides in Jenny more than he ever does in Aphmau - take for instance FCU EP.17:

Jenny: What do you want out of life, Aaron?

Aaron: ...I want… a family.

Jenny: Huh?

Aaron: It's just… yeah. Some people want riches and fame, and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone wants different things. But for me, I've always wanted a family of my own. You know, someone and little ones to love and care for… better than those who cared for me. …Sorry, went off on a tangent there.

Also, lets not forget that in Emerald Secret EP.10 Aphmau openly admits she'd rather have him harmed than have another woman be near him:

Aphmau: What's going on?

Tatiana: We need him to wake up!

Aphmau: Why? What's wrong?

Tatiana: Our alpha is coming. If he finds him here, he'll hurt him!

Aphmau: Huh? What?

Tatiana: [Embracing Aaron]. Wake up! Please!

Aphmau: What are you doing to him?

Tatiana: He needs more of my body heat!

Aphmau: Oh no he doesn't! Hey! Let go of him!

Aaron: [Waking up] Ah, Aph, you feel so… warm… huh? [Notices Tatiana and jumps] Woah! What the-- who are you?

Aphmau: “You're so warm.” What was that supposed to mean?

Aaron: Aph! You're here!

Aphmau: Of course I am. Remember?

He almost died, chill the hell out. Then there proceeds to be a misunderstanding where Tatiana says things that Aphmau implies to mean he has some sort of romantic affair with him in the forest, despite Aaron’s protests, and throws a rock at his head. Real solid, healthy relationship here.

Let's contrast this example: when Aaron has picture proof of Aph cheating in Lover’s Lane (even though she didn't) he thinks rationally about the situation and firmly believes that Aph wouldn't do that to him since they love each other.

When Aphmau is presented with a couple vague statements that could be taken as Aaron cheating, she throws a rock at Aaron’s head immediately despite him verbally protesting. It's played off as comedy, but seriously, it's absurd. It's also worth noting that Lover’s Lane was a comedy focused series and Emerald Secret wasn't.

Anyways, that's all my main points. I have some other minor ones but they aren't quite worth listing. Feel free to reply or shoot me an ask if you have anything to ask/any questions! Unless it's to say “I don't care I ship aarmau anyways,” in which case, don't.