#spoilers are not good for your soul unless you want them!

[kiame-sama]

Drag Me to Hell- (Yandere!Alastor x Chubby!Reader) pt. 3

Warnings; spoilers for episode 5 of Hazbin Hotel, yandere relationship, yandere temper, yandere behavior, toxic relationship, Alastor is not fond of disobedience, don't make deals with demons,

~~~~~~~~

"Good talk, chum!"

Alastor hummed as he moved towards the shadows, leaving behind a shaking and terrified Husker. There were many words that could be used to describe Alastor and none were more fitting than terrifying.

None knew this better than you.

"Husker," you started, emerging from where you had been waiting down the hall, "are you okay?"

The hellcat tried to pull himself together quickly and brush you off, but his shaking betrayed how truly afraid he was. When Alastor wanted to put terror into others, he didn't need to work very hard to accomplish his goal.

"Why the Hell d'you care? You're his fuckin' favorite, the fuck you know about it?"

You knew he was lashing out to protect himself, but the words almost managed to make you flinch. Luckily for the both of you, you didn't and you kept a level head. If he had seen... Still, you wanted to try and comfort the fellow lost soul ensnared by your eternal captor.

"Husker, listen to me."

Something about your firm tone made the demon pause, an almost confused and unsettled expression on his face. It was rare that you became so serious and pleading with anyone, let alone tried to actually talk to anyone for extended periods of time. Something about your tone made him want to take whatever you were going to say seriously.

"You may think you know the limits of his patience but you don't. I know them. I have seen more than you know and have been by his side for longer than you may expect. I can never share these things. I can never tell anyone what I have heard and seen. Those memories are not my secrets to share. But I can tell you some of the terms of my contact, and I hope you understand and take heed."

You were choosing your words carefully, knowing that you could only say so much before the fine-print of your contract with Alastor silenced you. Parroting one of the key lines of your contract even as you navigated your way through the red-tape and fine print. Alastor made sure to create a rather finely crafted contract to outline your deal with him and you had plenty of time to read over it again and again.

"Expected and Required are the same thing. I am expected to remain by Alastor's side until he doesn't want me to be. I am expected to do what is asked of me by Alastor and no one else. I am expected to keep what I see and hear a secret unless Alastor wishes for me to speak on the matter. I am expected to remember the primary terms of every contract I have seen. And I have to say, Husker, I know better than anyone what chains can bind some overlords."

Husker seemed confused for a moment before his eyes flashed with recognition before shifting to curiosity. You could only hope that he gathered the information you wanted to give him without having directly said it.

"You were there for my deal, weren't you?"

"I cannot say. Those are not my secrets to share."

"But where were you? I thought it was just me an' him. Unless... Hells, you're his microphone, aren't you?"

"I am expected to be by his side until he doesn't want me to be."

"You've been around long enough to see my deal, you must have seen so many other deals too. Why do you stay with him? Ain't there any kind of freedom to your deal?"

"My deal was made to keep me safe from other demons. It... Evolved into what it is now. I stay safe and in return I do as my deal says, no questions. That is what I agreed to. Look, Husker, all I am saying is your leash could be tighter, your chains could be heavier, and you could have far less freedoms than you have now. Don't squander it over someone like Mimzy."

"I just know she is bad news! But he won't listen."

"I know she is bad news too and I admit, I hate her. Every time she shows up she uses him and thinks she has some kind of control over him because he lets her get away with this nonsense."

You sighed and tried to smile at Husker, feeling the wry and strained grin become more of a grimace. It was true that you strongly disliked the woman that only appeared when she needed help and you knew she didn't like you either. Mimzy had obvious feelings for Alastor and she hated the fact that you were close to him when she so desperately wanted to be in your place.

"Husker, I can't say I like you- he doesn't like competition of any kind- but I don't want you killed or hurt. You are a better person than you claim to be and we both know it. Just know that though he doesn't like your tone, he does hear you and your concerns."

"Listen, (y/n), maybe if we talk to Charlie about your deal, she can-"

You sharply stood from where you had been kneeling by his side, already knowing where the conversation was going and not wanting either of you to get hurt by the blowback. If Husker finished his sentence, odds are Alastor would not hesitate to rip his soul to shreds for daring to try and break the deal you had. There was no way you were going to let such a thing happen and that meant you had to make it clear to Husker as well.

"No. I am happy with my deal. I would never say anything to the contrary or try to get out of my deal with Alastor. Besides, I have seen too much and know too much for him to ever let me go peacefully. That level of blood and retribution is far too high a price. Don't suggest it again, Husker, or we will both be in trouble for it. Please, just trust me to-"

The way your voice died in your throat with a slight choke let the demon know you said as much as you could. Though there was more you wished to say, you could feel your own leash tighten in a clear warning and you knew then he had been listening. Odds are, Alastor had been listening to the whole thing and he was not pleased with your attempts to get around his gag order. It was also clear to you that Alastor was likely testing you by letting Husker get as far as he did in his questioning.

A chill ran down your back and you saw your fellow demon's eyes widen as he stared behind you. The clawed hand of the Radio Demon rest on your shoulder, his head leaning over so you could barely see his threatening grin in your peripheral view. You could feel his shadows crawling over your skin and around you as he casually asserted control over both you and Husker.

"Now, now. Whatever could you two possibly be discussing? It wouldn't happen to be about the rules you know you can't discuss, right?"

"Of course not, Alastor. We both know that they aren't my secrets to share even if I wanted to, which I don't. I am simply informing him from one damned soul to another that trying to rile you is a bad idea."

A soft growl could be heard from Alastor and you could feel the slight brush of his antlers against your head as his annoyance grew. As far as you knew, you hadn't said anything to upset him and you had not breached the terms of your contract. But the way his hand tightened on your shoulder told you Alastor was unhappy about something and you were terrified what that would mean for Husker.

"I have told you what to call me many times now, (y/n). I do not appreciate your continued failure to heed my instruction."

It then dawned on you why Alastor was irritated and in some ways it was ridiculous to you. He was upset because you called him Alastor and not a pet name as he had requested. Honestly, you had forgotten entirely about something so trivial, but you also knew Alastor was a stickler for details.

"Dear, I feel there is a time and place for terms of endearment and they have no place in serious discussion."

"That is for me to decide and you to obey. Do not presume such things again, Sugar. Now, what is this about you hating Mimzy?"

"She is only here to try and use you, we all know that. I don't like her casual attempts at controlling you and I know she dislikes me as well."

"I don't care what she thinks of you, it is not her decision if I keep you with me or not. Now, I would hope you know better than to question me, because I doubt you want to spend another half a decade locked away again. Do I make myself clear, Honey?"

"... Yes, Darling."

Alastor was quick to disappear once more into shadow, leaving both you and Husker to stare at one another in silence. You both knew he likely didn't go far and that he was always watching whatever it was you chose to do. With this constant observation in mind, you did your best to keep your actions to a minimum and to keep any backlash from hurting Husker.

"We both know what our place is. It would be best that we don't question it. I'm truly sorry for the pain you feel, Husker, but we made our choices. Be happy your choice gives you some kind of freedom."

[octopotto]

Brain Rot: TWST Cast with Saitama! Reader

OCTO NOTE: College has been absolutely brutal. These headcanons were worked on bit by bit these past few months :(

I saw some TWST fics that used pre-exsiting characters to based the MC off of and I wanted to try w/ one of my favourite characters.

WARNINGS: NOT PROOF-READ, OOC Behaviour, this is so cringe but very self-indulgent, mc is the most sane person in this universe, you decide if mc is bald or not, yandere if you squint hard enough.

SPOILERS FOR: TWISTED WONDERLAND

**The reader will ALWAYS be Gender-Neutral! 

———————————-••———————————

Life at Night Raven College would be much more peaceful if MC had Saitama’s strength lol

Problems would've been solved quicker as well.

At first glance, you don’t seem to be a threat.

To most, you look like a regular, magic-less human on the outside.

And that’s what makes you so dangerous.

Don’t fuck around and overblot unless you have a death wish.

The Overblot crew definitely had one when MC swung their fist at them.

The whole prologue would be shortened.

Fun fact: You accidentally put too much force on the coffin door to get out, thus smashing Grim in the process while he was prying it open :D

Grim, the Ramshackle ghost, and Crowley were the first group to witness your impressive strength.

And by impressive, they mean terrifying.

To Crowley and Grim at least.

The ghost were shocked but very much amused after a couple moments.

God knows how the Ramshackle Dorm was still in one piece after that.

Grim is very happy to have a strong minion to protect him

Just don’t hurt him like you did with the ghost pls. And the door lol

Crowley would be most likely absolutely be afraid and made a mental note to keep track of you. 

Especially since you were almost successful to killing him in his ghost form. He’s making sure that Ramshackle gets fixed quicker.

Crowley: “Great Sevens… How do they have such monstrous strength... This stowaway is just a magicaless human! My…what have I gotten myself into?? *sobs* OH IF I WASN’T SUCH A KIND AND GENEROUS SOUL I WOULD NOT LET THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR BE PRESENT ON MY CAMPUS” *more obnoxious sobbing*

You and Grim: 😶😐????

Despite scaring and almost killing the shit out of the Headmaster, you still start off as a janitor lol.

Fast forward to the Mine Incident with Ace, Deuce, and Grim—

You basically massacred that monster.

A monster that probably injured many Mages and Wizards

You destroyed it in one punch.

On that day, Ace reminded himself to never piss you off again. Ever.

He loves cherry pie, but would rather not become the filling itself, thanks.

Deuce probably was gawking at you after the shock.

Not in a bad way

But in a good way y'know?

But he’s too shy to ask for advice for now.

This is basically the start of Deuce idolizing you and your strength.

Brain Rot:

Ace, Deuce and Grim are your self-proclaimed bodyguards.

At least THEY like to think that they are.

Listen, they know that you are MORE THE CAPABLE protecting yourself in fights or in any physical confrontations.

But that’s it.

You’re basically shit at everything else.

From completing your assignments to even showing up to class, it seems like in the trio's eyes that you NEED THEM to take care of you. You all are like family now!

So they all make an effort to help you out when you need it.

No really, if you keep forgetting to submit that one potion essay that Crewel keeps smacking your shiny ass head to complete, you’re going to get left behind.

 They’re more like secretaries than bodyguards lol.

The post-overblot Spelldrive tournament was an absolute nightmare.

Well, at least for everyone but Ace, Deuce, and Grim.

They were GLOATING about how they were in the lead and challenged anyone to try and top them like the smug, over-confident assholes they are.

The only reason why they were in the lead was because of you. Simple as that.

The Savannaclaw gang put up a good fight

For the first 10 minutes in the match.

All Leona could do at that moment was strategize how not to get his and his teammate’s heads chopped off by the disc you kept throwing at them.

You are quite fond of Ruggie

More specifically: you were fond of Ruggie’s haggling skills.

If were had a choice to trade your god-like strength for his haggling skills and techniques, you wouldn’t hesitate one bit.

And y’know it wouldn’t be Ruggie if he didn’t take advantage of this. He would offer you advice and tell you if theres a huge sale going on at a near-by grocery store if you promise to lend him a hand whenever he needed it.

You were so tempted to say no

Not because he was shady and overall untrustworthy

You’re just lazy

This is his way to spend more time with you but he would never admit that out-loud.

If your MC is bald, instead of Floyd squeezing you, he will smack and ‘dribble’ your head as if it was basketball.

Jamil and Ace especially are amused.

God forbid you ever get a bad tan on the top of your scalp

You will NEVER hear to end of it.

Floyd also is your biggest bully.

jk but not really

Yeah he knows that you could probably kill him with a gentle tap

But when did that ever stop him?

He mainly does it because he wants to see your reactions

You’re so plain looking and your nonchalant voice and facial expressions do not help as well.

But remember only Floyd HIMSELF can do those things to you, okay? Only him.

If he ever finds out that some random NPC student was doing the same thing to you, You’re going to be finding that NPC tossed in a corner somewhere with almost all their joints mangled.

You like how generous Kalim is.

You probably helped him fan the fire off his ass in the ceremony

He’s was incredibly thankful and was able to remember what you looked like.

I mean, you literally saved him!

How could he not remember you?

You don't remember him but let’s not go there lol

Because you saved Kalim from being cooked, he always makes sure that you had enough food for the month!

He would practically beg, like BEG Jamil to make extras so you won’t go hungry.

Especially after experiencing what type of living conditions you were dealing with in Book 5.

Poor Jamil, not only is he working overtime for Kalim, but technically serving food for the person who ruined his plans back in Book 4.

Jamil packing food for you by Kalim’s request: 😡😡😡

totally did not try to poison your food on several occasions

Kalim also begs Jamil to let him deliver the food to you.

He can’t help it! He really enjoys seeing you happy when you receive something from him and Jamil.

You never complain about.

Free food = Saving money.

I mean, if you're being gifted something, why be rude and deny it?

Some students say that you were taking advantage of Kalim because of how easily you accept his gifts without anything in return.

And y'know they could be right

But Kalim doesn't mind.

As long as you're happy, he's happy :)

In Vil’s eyes, you are an enigma. 

It’s like he can’t wrap his pretty little head around on how he feels about you.

On one hand, other than your god-like strength, you’re nothing special. When he first saw you he only disregarded you as another potato that’s not worth his precious time and effort on.

But on the other hand, Vil sees you as a blank slate. Something that ASKING for him to put his smooth and perfectly manicured fingers on. Someone that needs his guidance and skills. 

He doesn’t care if you’re bald or have hair, it doesn’t derail him from the fact that despite you sticking out like a sore-thumb, you’re still so…plain looking.

You probably said some off-hand comment about how ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ to Vil and just walked off.

It might not meant anything to you

But it meant a lot to Vil.

When it came to the overblots and eventually Book 5, he felt as though he was in a spiral of questions that he himself must find the answers for.

And what were the questions that caused Vil’s current state of disarray about? You obviously.

He’s going mad

He can’t stand it.

You said that beauty is in the eye of the holder? Fine then.

He knows that he could do something for you. 

Something marvellous, something beautiful.

For you and himself. 

You had a new nickname for Malleus every time you guys end up running into eachother.

Malleus would always look forward to meeting you solely for the nicknames.

I believe that Saitama genuinely does not care enough to remember other people’s names that much

So that will be a trait for MC in this.

Malleus probably thinks this is a way humans show affection to each other.

In reality, you cannot for the life of you remember that weirdo's name.

Malleus: *Appears out of thin air in front of the MC*

Malleus: Greetings, Child of Man *smiles*

MC Thinking: ‘Why does this rando keep coming back? What was his name again?’

Malleus: *Anticipating their response with excitement*

MC: Uhhhh..

MC: Wassup…Horton? :D

Malleus: *Smiles at his new nickname*

It took a while for you to come up with a permanent nickname for him but he doesn't mind

In his eyes, it's your way of showing him how much you wanted to become closer companions.

Jack and Epel are always on your ass about “How to become stronger” and when you actually tell them the routine that you did at the beginning of your journey, they literally fell in disbelief.

They couldn’t believe it.

It was basically a simple workout routine 

Both still believe that you’re hiding the secret of how you got to your level of strength.

Thus, joint workouts became also a thing within the NRC Campus and you are the leader.

Not by choice however.

Jack, Epel, and everyone else involved were really curious as to how you train.

I mean, look at what you can do! And you’re not even a Mage!

The first meeting was terrible due to the fact you almost obliterated the school.

One flick and the gym could’ve been in shambles.

That’s why Jack and Epel made sure to do it somewhere far and secluded.

And even then, you still created a lot of damage with minimal effort.

It’s incredible to those who look up to you.

Throughout the story, you gained some admiration and recognition along the way.

From Heartslaybul to Diasomnia, you unknowingly grab the admiration of those who either want to become stronger or see you as a hero. 

Some might say that they see you as the messiah who was sent to protect the school.

But let’s not go that far.

You wouldn’t notice anyways

In your eyes they're all a bunch of weirdos.

———————————-••———————————

OCTO NOTE: Hopefully you guys enjoyed these very terrible brain-rot headcanons. I always found Saitama’s character interesting so I wanted to try out something new. 

Again, I’ve been very busy so I can’t promise anything BUT I can say that there will be more Yandere FF7 fics coming soon! ;)

Thank you to everyone who enjoys my low-quality works! Hope you look forward to my new ones ❤️❤️

[waggledoogledoggle]

⚠️Spoilers for Hazbin ep 4⚠️

⚠️Also, this post will talk about Abuse and SA, it is briefly mentioned a few times throughout the rest of this… whole long thingy I wrote⚠️

⚠️Also, brief mention of the scene where someone tried to drug Angel⚠️

Ok, I am just genuinely baffled at the people who somehow find a way to hate on 'Loser, Baby'.

Like, if you don't like Huskerdust that's fine... but 'Loser, Baby' is not overshadowing/brushing off Angel's SA. It's not victim blaming. And it's not Husk telling Angel to just shut up and get over it.

Like I've seen it so much, and you know what? Fuck it. Welcome to my TedTalk on why it's not all of those things.

For starters: Husk doesn't know about Angel's SA

When Angel has his vulnerable outburst (Side note, props to Blake I mean, they said 'take 5' he heard 'change lives') he talks about how he feels like he has to act the way he does to keep Valentino happy because he stupidly sold his soul to him. That he wants to get drugged up because that’s his escape. That he wants to be broken because maybe, just maybe Val will let him go. He wants to be free, but he can't and he has no one to blame but himself.

"What's the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself" is literally the pre chorus to his song (Poison), and that is what he shares with Husk.

Not once does he bring up his abuse or SA. If he did, do you think a song would have even happened? Look how Husk reacted when someone tried to drug Angel's drink! Now that Husk actually genuinely cares about him? Dead. Dead. Valentino would be dead.

We as the audience know more than the other characters. We were given the insight of Angel's true trauma.l that he deals with on the daily. You can't get upset at a character for not knowing something they would have no way of knowing unless it was shared with them.

Moving onto the song itself, it's a song of empathy.

Allow me to explain.

Husk pinpoints perfectly what Angel is feeling in this moment:

"So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall Can't face the world sober and dopeless You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked"

When Husk starts singing, you can tell that Angel is expecting Husk to pull the whole "But that's not true! It's not hopeless! You're life's not wrecked!" and is very surprised when Husk doesn't.

Instead, Husks says "Yeah. You're right." And this is when a lot of the haters get angry- but hold on a second.

When someone is feeling all of those things, saying things like "That's not true! You'll be ok!" aren't helpful at all. That's brushing it off. Even if it may be true, that doesn't help anyone when they're feeling like hopeless, lost, losers.

Because that's sympathy, not empathy. Sympathy is feeling for someone, and trying to make them feel better. Empathy, is not trying to make them feel any certain way- better or worse- empathy is simply feeling with someone. And that's what Husk does.

During the first chorus, Husk is clearly teasing Angel a bit while doing so, but not without good reason. It's keeping Angel from closing back up again, he's being a little bit silly with him and teasing him. I mean, did you see the silly lil walk he did crossing in front of Angel? And Angel is super confused because he's like "how tf is this supposed to make me feel better??"

That's the thing. It's not. That's sympathy's job, not empathy's. Empathy just want's you to feel felt with, it doesn't want to tell you how to feel. And adding that bit of silliness gives Angel's vulnerability a chance to breathe and it prevents Angel from closing in on himself.

The next verse, pre-chorus, and chorus is when the empathy though really kicks in.

The next verse, is the first part of empathy: Sharing about a similar experience you went through.

In this verse, now that Angel is listening not just hearing, Husk shares that he has been gruesomely damaged. Calling back to what he shared literally seconds before the song. That he knows what it's like to sign away your soul, and constantly look back at it with huge amounts of regret. That knowing that moment is what turned him into the mess he is today, and that he has no one to blame but himself. Just like Angel.

Then in the pre-chorus where there's the whole:

"I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!"

That isn't Husk telling Angel to get over himself and this isn’t him undermining what Angel’s been through. That's him saying 'I did too, you're not alone’

And then the very simple word change from "you're" to "we're" in the chorus is SO FREAKING HUGE. Because Husk is essentially saying "You feel like a total loser right now. Ok. Then if what happened to you/what you went through makes you a loser, then I'm a loser too. Let's be loser's together." Instead of trying to make Angel stop feeling like he's a hopeless loser, he decides that he is too.

He meets Angel where he is.

Aka: ✨empathy✨

Angel finally feels seen, understood, felt with. All the goals of empathy. He no longer feels alone in what he is struggling with, which is HUGE! Especially for people going through/dealing with SA and abuse.

The bridge of the song, is also extremely important, because this is where they acknowledge the differences in what they're going through. Their root problem is the same, but how it messed up their lives and created the problems they deal with now are completely different

And that's around when the song begins to shift from just Husk showing empathy and comforting Angel, to them both finding comfort in each other.

Which you can clearly see by the chorus under the umbrella, where it's not just one of them singing the chorus, but it's both of them. Because they have found a place to go to and confide in, a place of comfort, with each other.

Like, I am genuinely concerned that people find this song toxic like... have- have you never experienced empathy before? Are you ok?

So yeah, to wrap this up, if you don’t like ‘Loser, Baby’ just because you don’t like the song in general? That’s fine (odd, but fine)

But if you hate it because it “undermines Angel’s experience and what he goes through” I…

words.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[forbidden-sunlight]

yandere!poseidon with shinobu!reader headcanons

warning: manga spoilers, obsessive behavior, violence, strong language, sexual references, established relationship.

The intention of this story is for entertainment purposes only, it is not my personal belief(s). The behavior exhibited here is inappropriate and unhealthy, hence it should not be encouraged. There are also triggers, so please take caution.

You are responsible for your internet consumption!

This is a collab work with @praisethesuuun, guys go check out her RoR content, it's amazing! With that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy the chaos that is about to unfold :)

Revenge is quite an odd feeling to possess. It’s a white-hot hunger that gnaws at the bones and twists the delicate muscles of the heart. It hurts, and there is nothing in the entire world that can stop it unless the target of this dark emotion has been dealt with. 

When you had been alive, the target of your anger had been directed at Douma, the demon who had devoured your older sister Kanae like the ravenous lecher he was noted for being as Muzan’s Upper Moon Two. After rising to the rank of Hashira, you devoted yourself exclusively to pharmacology and applying it to your Breathing Style.

Medicine and poison went hand-in-hand. The only difference between them is the dosage. 

You had died fighting against Douma, absorbed into his body as nourishment to strengthen him. He never knew your flesh had been contaminated with wisteria poison until the very last moment. The look on his face was ...satisfying as you cradled his decapitated head in your palms, smiling cruelly down at him. Although you were dissatisfied that the poison would not have been completed without assistance from Lady Tamayo, a demon doctor of all possible candidates, the results showed otherwise. 

Your work was done. You’d leave the rest to Kanao and the others to destroy Muzan once and for all. You knew they could do it. 

Eventually, your soul ascended to Valhalla, where you had hoped to spend it in peace alongside Kanae and your parents. Alas, nothing in this heavenly area is as it appeared or told by the elders. There were gods up here. Gods who could have helped humans as they were hunted by demons, but chose to ignore the prayers of their worshippers in favor of indulging themselves like beasts.They were no different than a mortal warlord who valued his own safety above the people’s.

And now, they wanted to destroy Midgard because it had become ugly in their eyes? No. That is not happening. For as long as you carry your sword and poisons, humanity will not be discarded like a child’s toy. The Demon Slayer Corps were expected to protect the people…so it was not against the rules to participate in Ragnarok as a member of the medical team. 

Not at all. Especially since Lord Hades, for all the power he possessed, still needed the Demon Slayer Corps to ensure that nothing got past the broken barriers of the Bifrost and to maintain order without causing a panic in Valhalla. 

Hah…how annoying. You doubted your dear lover would be happy to hear about this. Despite his shortcomings, he was still a good man and an incredible fighter. Brunhilde would have been a fool to not select him as a representative of humanity. 

You were never one to convey false humility. If you believed that someone is an excellent combatant, you meant it. 

He could spend hours in the forest honing his abilities, pushing himself to where he would end up in your clinic within the Butterfly Mansion…and yet he still had the energy to spend time with a twisted person such as yourself. 

For all of the imperfections you possessed, the anger that still burned in your heart, he still found charming qualities that made him unable to resist you. To swear an oath of love and devotion beneath a wisteria tree, even when he would be fighting against the gods. 

A few days before Rangarok began, however, Brunhilde flew to the Demon Slayer Corps with startling news that would forever change the game between the humans and gods, incredibly agitated. But to you, it was another opportunity. You assured her everything would be all right. 

Be calm, and let the gods think that simply switching out their opponent’s fighters until the very last moment. After all, humans are able to endure quite a lot more than divine creators…with a far better temperament. 

Brunhilde’s sharp green eyes narrowed at your words, analyzing them with a cold frown before she slowly nodded and promptly left without saying anything else. Once she left, you left the breath you had been holding and ushered the terrified Nao to come out from under your desk, asking if she could bring some strong tea and rice balls.

You had much more to do now than simply packing up your medical equipment~. 

You could still hear the screaming from the arena even when behind the sliding paper doors of your designated room. Two bouts have passed, and the favor is still with the gods. But it was nothing to fret about. Your nichirin sword was sheathed at your side, the blade dosed with the poison you’ve been preparing leading up to Rangarok. Two weeks were spent on finding the perfect balance of toxins, followed by trial and error on its effectiveness. 

Who knew a Valkyrie like Brunhilde would have access to vials of divine blood, let alone the idea of a god actually going through medical checkups? It was certainly a game-changer, and now you were confident that the Einherjar poison would do its job perfectly. 

It was a shame you couldn’t test it on Apollo again; the bastard is still lurking around in Valhalla, but you were quite certain he’d never try to touch Kanae without her permission ever again. The poison you used on him was specifically designed to create impotence, and he certainly loved to fool around with anyone. It took weeks for it to be out of his system, and you were placed on trial for an assassination attempt on a god. 

If it hadn't been for Hades’ interference, you would be Nifhelim instead of being sentenced to ten years of home arrest and unable to take on missions unless it was an emergency. As if sensing your distress, the sword at your side thrummed. 

Blinking, you looked down and smiled softly, giving the scabbard a few soft pats. “Thank you, I’m all right. Now…shall we go kill a god and bring a victory for mankind?”

The sword rattled in its scabbard, as if answering with you in delight at the prospect of a fight. Your smile transformed into a feral grin, excitement pumping in your veins as you walked out of the foyer and towards the entrance, carefully sliding on your zori sandals and brushing off dust from your butterfly-winged patterned haori. 

Inhaling a deep breath with your eyes closed, you pulled the sliding door to the left, just as a shriek went right through your ears. Wincing slightly, you opened them to see Brunhilde and her younger sister Goll standing in front of your quarters. 

You smiled at them. “It’s my turn, isn’t it?” Goll just stared at you with pink cheeks and wide green eyes, the one physical trait she shared with her silent older sister as the latter nodded. Your smile widened, stepping out into the marble corridor and taking an immediate right. The Valkyries were close behind. 

“May the Einherjar prevail.” Brunhilde said

“We will.” You said. “And should anything happen to me-”

“Kanao will be in good hands.” The Valkyrie said. “Your lover…that man will -”

“He will carry on and look after my sisters. That’s how it has always been, even after he found out I was a Hashira for the Demon Slayer Corps.” You replied. The sounds of the arena were growing closer, humanity’s entrance into the colossal stadium growing brighter. Followed by the sound of…water? You tilted your head to the side, walking towards it and saw…a boat tied to the mast of a deck? 

You sighed, stepping across the wooden planks and unraveling the rope before pushing it out to wherever it led you. As Goll shouted ‘good luck’ and Brunhilde gave a nod, one thought slipped into your mind. Why did the gods have a flair for the dramatics?

Heimdall flew over the arena in a hot air balloon that was just the right size for him, circling around a circular-shaped platform that was surrounded by dark blue water and gigantic lotuses. Raising his horn up, the god screamed through it so his audience could hear him loud and clear. 

"While Zeus is the god of the cosmos, he who controls the seas is the tyrant of the oceans! The ruler of the seas! Even the gods fear the wrath of the most fearsome of deities! The second of the three Olympian brothers..."

The spectators began to warm up, anxious about what they were about to witness, a feeling of superiority common among all. No one dared to invoke his name, waiting for Heimdall to do so.

"...Poseidon!" 

A roar arose among the divine spectators, the coliseum from the excitement shaking all but it was instantly silenced with a single, icy glance from the God of Gods. Even the human’s side was stunned at how the gods feared their representative so much that they could not utter a single word. Heimdall could only be thankful that he was in the air and not down there with them. He then cleared his throat, turning towards humanity’s corner. 

"On the other side!"

Attention shifted to the opposite side of the arena, where a single wooden boat plowed through the gentle waves as it carried a single passenger towards the dias. The air became heavy again. To destroy a god like Poseidon, his opponent needed to be someone who was just as powerful and terrifying. 

"Silent as a butterfly, yet deadly as a wasp, a fighter worthy of serving the gods! She is one of the few mortal souls brave enough to put her life on the line once more, to protect the Bifrost from destruction and slay those demons who would dare to cross the barrier into Valhalla!”

The crowd was going wild, the anticipation palpable. Never had they heard about a human of this caliber participating in Ragnarok, let alone someone who was intricately tied to the privacy of certain high-ranking individuals. Some had even scoff that such a the existence of such a human soul was nothing more than a fairy tale. 

The boat bumped roughly against the dias, causing the passenger to stumble slightly as she stepped off the boat. She slowly climbed up the steps with a hand raised over her eyes in an attempt to shield them from the blinding sun and a hand around the scabbard of her sword. 

“She is the one who had sacrificed her life to destroy the gluttonous demon known as Douma, and has a hatred for the gods that would even be dared to match the Father of All Humanity, Adam! Please welcome….the Demon Slayer Corps’ very own Insect Hashira, [First Name] Kocho!” 

Poseidon could not believe he allowed himself to be a participant in Ragnarok at Zeus’ behest when that little shit knew he did not wish to fight against insects. A perfect being should never extend even a quarter of their true power unless the opponent is worthy. There is no living being in the entire universe worth his attention, let alone a second of his time.

 Yet the Fates had other plans; not only humanity’s representative is a member of Hades’ precious Demon Slayer Corps’ brigade, it is the very same swordswoman who had poisoned his nephew simply because he had gotten too handsy with her sister. Honestly, did mortals have nothing else to do with their time in Valhalla? But since he is already here and there is no turning back at this point, he might as well try to give a small show to these simpletons. 

He watched with disinterest as the [Hair Color] Hashira twirled her blade between delicate fingers with a serene smile, then quickly adjusting her grip on the hilt before crouching down. She then bolted, dashing towards him at an astounding speed and thrusting out her sword.

If Poseidon were any less than a divine god, he surely would have been nicked by the blade’s tip in the collarbone or the arm. 

But he is not - he simply maneuvered his body to the right, thrusting his trident forward, expecting a clean hit straight in the center of the human’s pathetic body and ending this match. It did not happen; instead, her feet landed on the outer prongs of his trident and pushed herself upwards, using the momentum to make an elegant backflip, putting space between them. 

[Eye Color] orbs blinked owlishly at him before they closed into tiny crescents, and her gentle smile widened ever so slightly. 

“My goodness, you are quite fast. Perhaps I’ll need to -”

Enough. Raising his trident, Poseidon unleashed a barrage of incessant thrusts in all directions, rotating in a circular pattern. Amphitrite would be more than enough to finish off his opponent. It would even be considered a great honor to bestow upon a pathetic mortal woman who called herself a warrior. Yet to his annoyance, she dodged each thrust, and only one made its mark on the left shoulder. Her smile faded, replaced with an annoyed frown as she leapt backwards again. He sneered. Same tactic as before. Putting distance between them before attacking. Can she only do that? How did she even survive this long?

Clutching her injured limb, she clicked her tongue in disappointment. “Hm. Not only is your agility and mastery of the trident impressive, you do not even allow a lady to finish what she is going to say? Goodness, there is no limit to a god’s arrogance, is there?”

Poseidon felt his eye twitch. He reacted. Him, a god of perfection who had no need for emotions. Why is he acting like this? He must be composed, unaffected by the malicious words of a human. His reputation as a God feared by All the Gods is on the line here. 

She readjusted her grip on the sword again, zigzagging across the dias. He deflected ten parries with his trident, yet five shallow cuts appeared on his body. He fucking bled. Him. 

Fed up with this charade, he knelt down, catapulting into the sky and bringing his trident down upon the vermin. Chione Tyro Demeter. With his enhanced speed, which created countless afterimages of the attack, it was virtually impossible to dodge all of them. The little human tried, but she got injured…she still is not dead, much to his chagrin.  

Clank.

However…the sheer force of Chione Tyro Demeter had been enough to shatter her sword. Surely, she would dare to challenge a god to a fight with a broken blade. No. She will surrender, and this will be all over…so why is she still smiling? How dare she turn her back on him?!

“An impressive attack. If I hadn’t continued my training after ascending to Valhalla, I surely would have already been dead. Although, I must confess,” The Insect Hashira leaned down, picking up the other half of her sword, “You’ve saved me a lot of trouble just now. I really should thank you…even when the idea of showing gratitude to a god really makes me nauseous.” She tightened her grip on it, blood beginning to spill from her clenched palm. “If you believe I am going to cry and beg for mercy when I’ve put everything on the line to protect humanity….you’re mistaken. We begged for help through prayers, yet none of you listened. Tell me…is taking a human life that exciting? Do you find joy in destroying your creations like a child? Or are you just bored that there is nothing going on, just humans existing, and you want another war to get the blood pumping?”

The tension in the coliseum fell into an uneasy silence, soft murmurs carried out by the wind. Not even the commentator could say nothing…not that it mattered to Poseidon. Such things were of no concern to a god. He raised his trident, ready to launch another attack when a bright green light enveloped the mortal…no. It was emitting from her shattered sword. Hovering by the Hashira’s side were two women - splitting images of each other, one was calm while the twin was angry. 

She glanced up at either of them. “I’m so sorry it took this long to summon you like this, my friend. I ask, will you lend me your strength for ten, no fifteen minutes? Timing is critical at this stage.”

Hrist’s aggressive persona smirked, delicate-needlepoint canines gleaming under the sun. 

“Do you even have to ask? Let’s take that fucking god down immediately. For our sisters, Reginleif and Randgriz!” 

Her dominant personality, the one who trembled before the gods, glanced over at you with calm emerald eyes before nodding softly. You smiled at the Valkyrie. “Thank you…both of you.” You crouched down for a split second, knees bent and eyes focused on the tyrant of the oceans, before you bolted. Poseidon used Amphitrite again, but thanks to Hrist’s abilities, your speed increased tenfold. And with two swords in your hand, you were able to easily deflect more of his attacks. But you needed to make it last as long as possible. 

Fifteen minutes….ten….five…seven…three…two…one. 

Poseidon suddenly fell forward, though he quickly steadied himself from collapsing head first by planting his trident into the stones. The coliseum had gone quiet, speechless at the sight of seeing the feared God of All Gods on his knees. He glared up at you, hatred swimming in those orbs. 

“What have you done?” He hissed. 

You smiled. “Oh, nothing much. Given your title as the ruler of the oceans, you are a master of hydrokinesis. Compared to what I used on Apollo, it’d be pointless to inject a water-based poison into your bloodstream to have any effect on your body. So I decided to use something a little more…effective. Corrosive.” You said. “Right now, the poison is starting to slowly feast on your body, starting with the bones. The muscle tissues will be next, followed by your organs.” 

“You dare…to do this to a god?” 

You raised an eyebrow. “Was there ever any doubt that I’d actually try to kill you? Come now, you’re smarter than this…at least I’d hoped so.”

 Shaking your head softly, you glanced upwards at a hovering hot air balloon, addressing a certain deity. Heimdall. 

“Mister Announcer? Would you say that this is a victory for humanity? Poseidon won’t be able to do anything in his current predicament, and…I might need some medical attention myself.” You added, suddenly feeling woozy and black dots appearing in your line of sight. 

The dull throb in your bones indicated the Volundr’s dissipation, followed by a bright green light and a curvaceous body pressed against your uninjured side. You turned and saw Hrist scowling, golden orbs narrowed in annoyance. “Moron. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if ya can’t even walk!”

“Now, now, just give me a moment to use Total Concentration Breathing to clot the blood -”

“Fuck no! I’m gettin’ your ass to the infirmary, now!”

“Goodness, such foul language!”

“Like you’re one to talk!”

“W-With that being said…” Heimdall stammered. “T-The third bout between creator and creation…against all the odds stacked against them…THE INSECT HASHIRA STANDS AT THE TOP AS THE WINNER! WHAT WE HAVE JUST SEEN WITH OUR OWN EYES IS AN EVENT THAT NOT EVEN THE MIGHTIEST OF GODS COULD HAVE PREDICTED! BUT WILL IT BE ENOUGH WITH JUST ONE VICTORY FOR HUMANITY, AND TWO GLORIOUS VICTORIES FOR THE GODS?!”

The crowd was going absolutely wild; the gods were stunned at the mere thought that a mortal had bested them or screamed that this bout had been rigged or that you had cheated, demanding a rematch. The humans’ side was the one with the joyous cries and praises, no doubt Brunhilde was beside herself with elation that humanity had finally beaten a god. 

Amidst the cheering and Hrist’s grumbling as the both of you walked through humanity’s entryway in the coliseum, your mouth curled into a grin. You had done your part to protect mankind…now, the rest would be left to the other contenders. 

Before you could take another step, your knees buckled and the pain in your body increased tenfold. If it hadn’t been for a pair of arms coiling themselves around your hips, you would have fallen onto the floor immediately. Blinking, you turned your gaze upwards and saw dark brown eyes staring down at you in utter adoration as if you’d hung the stars in the sky moments ago rather than defeating a god. 

“You’ve made history today, my love.” Sasaki Kojiro murmured, pressing a kiss against the side of your head. “For a moment, I confess that you did have me a little worried.” 

You sighed, leaning forward to press your head against his chest, just for a moment. “It wasn’t intentional….although I wished I had decapitated that bed-hopping relic where he stood instead of letting him suffer from the poison. But that would be considered an act of kindness from someone such as myself. Better luck next time.”

Kojiro tutted. “Not while you’re in this condition, dearest.” He said, grabbing your other arm and draping it across his shoulders. “Now, let’s get you looked at before it's my turn to fight the gods. And don’t even think about using the Total Concentration Breathing method. You know I have very good hearing~.” 

Poseidon was frozen on the dias. The sun burned his skin, and worse still were the looks of the sheep in the stands. Defeat, compassion, pain, and it fucking pissed him off. In that moment all he wanted to do was scream and eradicate any trace of life that bore witness to his defeat against a mortal woman. But he couldn’t even feel his fingers. The poison was so strong, pumping rapidly through his bloodstream, that it had been decided that he would be carried out of the arena by only his most trusted servants. 

Proteus did his best to keep everyone calm and not react as they headed towards the palace, yet even he was still shaken up by this chain of unforeseeable events. When the tyrant of the seas had been brought to his chambers, the staff immediately departed without another word, fearing for their own life should they do anything to anger their lord any further. 

But the truth is much more frightening and bizarre than anyone could have conceived as he laid in his bed, dark blue orbs staring blankly at the pearl-inlaid ceiling above him.  

In the smallest corner of Poseidon’s mind, that battle had awakened something in him. A dark, primal desire that should not be directed towards a mortal. However, if it is her poison, then she is the one who added this…whatever he is feeling, to curse him. 

That had to be the reason why his heart was pounding against his ribcage, his mouth to go dry at the thought of the Insect Hashira, naked and writhing underneath him in ecstasy. 

He gritted his teeth. “Shit.”

Slowly, very slowly, he began to move his fingers. Then his toes. Several hours later, Poseidon concluded his entire body was functional again except for his mind. The desire to conquer the Insect Hashira, [First Name] Kocho. 

She was a graceful, silver-tongued creature who compensated for the physical strength she did not possess with agility and extensive knowledge on pharmacology. In his eyes, she would make a perfect queen. And if she resisted him, well…

"You asked for it, witch."

Taglist:

@myrisan-melodies

@the-dumber-scaramouche

@mortemorii

@deathmetalunicorn1

@onecantsimply

@enryegotrip

@angel-tsugikuni-kamukura

@nunezs-stuff

@dance-till-the-death

@thatstrangesheep

@themoonisrising

@zodiacs-web

[arienai]

You've heard the Miyazawa memes, now it's time to

Read Otherside Picnic

A post by me

What is it? Otherside Picnic is a book series by Japanese author Iori Miyazawa. They are often called light novels for marketing purposes, but are technically considered "full" science fiction novels. The series is loosely based off of Soviet science fiction novel Roadside Picnic, which itself inspired the film Stalker as well as the video game STALKER.

What is it about? At its core, Otherside Picnic is about two girls who stumble into a weird alternate universe filled with creatures from Japanese internet myths and creepypastas. They go into that world frequently to explore it.

It is primarily a series of novels as I mentioned, however, there are also anime and manga adaptations.

Otherside Picnic is yuri (F/F), explicitly so, however, only the novels have reached this point in the story. If you want canon lesbians, you want to read the novels. I cannot stress this enough.

Okay but what about the characters, are they good? I'm super biased but honestly these are some of the most tumblrina characters I've seen in a while and I'm shocked they aren't more popular.

Sorawo Kamikoshi had a deeply traumatic childhood (though she likes to deny it) and today is a self professed "grumpy otaku" at university who is extremely into spooky shit and creepypastas, which she tends to infodump about. She is very bad at making friends and before discovering the Otherside she often spent her time watching Dark Souls Let's Plays and Minecraft build videos. No, like, canonically. She is a huge loser and I love her so much.

Toriko Nishina was born and raised in Canada with her two lesbian moms but now she's going to university in Japan. She is extremely gay and knows it but is also a complete disaster about it. She has an outgoing personality but struggles to make friends unless she's attaching herself to a new cute girl. I don't want to get too far into spoiler territory but she has a violent streak and has some hot and extremely badass Tiktok Lesbian With an Axe moments.

There are a lot of other great characters too, but you'll have to read to meet them!

And it's explicitly gay, you say? YES, this is a lesbian romance story. Girls hold hands. Girls kiss (with tongue!) Girls ogle other girls' boobs. Apparently the latest volume (not yet available in English) amps it up even more 😳

You're telling me it's literally gay despite being written by the meme "yuri is two wild beasts/a field/etc." Guy? Yes.

Where did the memes come from then? They come from a couple of interviews with Miyazawa where he compared various abstract concepts to yuri. Some of this can be seen in his work, but for the most part it is a straightforward and easy to read lesbian story.

Okay! Where do I read it!: Since they are novels you can find them at many bookstores! You can also buy the ebooks for relatively cheap and read them on your phone.

I hate reading, can't I do the manga/anime? You can if you want but the anime doesn't really go beyond flirty territory with the two girls and the manga is still ongoing and hasn't hit the gay stuff yet. So it's up to you.

Is the series finished? No, it's ongoing. There are currently seven volumes available in English. But we have an extremely dedicated fanbase. Join ussssss you know you want to. Look at these two cuties

Anyway I have so many good things to say about this series, I love the way the main characters are outcasts who come together and help each other learn to love themselves. I love the spooky setting, I love the side characters and of course I love how gay it is, I feel like most weirdo disaster gays on here will find something here to like. And the characters are in their 20's!!! That's still relatively young but it's so nice to read gay stuff about people who are old enough to drink (which they do a lot of).

So yes in closing

Read Otherside Picnic

[noahideahwrites]

Alpha likes to play with their hair — Inuyasha Omegas

Notes: I like men with long hair, hehe. Anyway, Inuyasha is by far my favorite anime, so prepare for a lot of content about it and also content about httyd, cause I need more of these.

Warnings: might contain spoilers, probably has grammar errors

- Inuyasha:

»» He is a tsundere, so it doesn't matter how long into the relationship you're, he will still deny he likes it.

»» But at the same time, he won't stop you either, unless you decide to tease or make any comment about it. So if you want to play with his hair for as long as your arms let you, then better not talk about it.

»» He will like it even more if you brush his hair either before or after sleep, might even fall asleep while sitting with how much relaxing is for him. Just be careful with his ears, they're sensitive, but not in a sexual way, in more of you're either making them hurt with so much rubbing or the fact he can feel and hear everything you're doing, and might get overwhelming.

»» Now, the only hairstyle he would tolerate is a ponytail and nothing more. I feel like he would let you do it the first time, but he might get teased either by Miroku or Shippo, and since then you're only allowed to do a ponytail.

- Sesshomaru:

»» Sesshomaru does not care about it, as long as you're not interrupting him from doing tasks like hunting, fighting, or whatever else he feels like doing at the moment.

»» It would be best to play with his hair before bed or when he is just relaxing doing nothing at the time. Now, he does take really good care and takes great pride in his hair, even if he doesn't say so, so don't just mess with it and get it tangled or ugly (somehow).

»» Out of everyone on this list, he is the one that likes hairstyles the most, he might even get ornaments for you to decorate his hair with. Also as long as the hairstyle doesn't inconvenience him with tasks and fighting.

»» Sesshomaru also has a liking to shiny things, so get him some silver or golden ornaments and he will keep them forever. If the hairstyle you did on him gets unmade by someone who is not you or Rin, then consider that person dead, principally if they broke one of the ornaments you gave to him.

- Tōga:

»» He is very happy whenever you show him affection, and he doesn't have any issues at showing or even saying he likes it.

»» He loves it principally when he gets home after a hard day, he will have you both taking a bath together and you have to wash his hair, you have to is a rule, doesn't matter how long it takes.

»» Always falls asleep when you play with his hair, so be sure to do it when that's not a problem, also cause he has the deepest sleep to ever exist, I mean the world is ending and he is still asleep.

»» About hairstyles, I think he wouldn't mind as long as it is a day off and he won't go out. Because let's be honest, this guy loves fighting, he probably will get in a fight when he goes out, either on purpose or not, and will get the hair undone unless is a simple variation of a ponytail, and he will be very upset that his hair is undone.

- Kōga:

»» Only lets you do it when you're in private, not a single soul besides you two can ever dream about this happening, he has to keep his image of the strongest of the pack and whatnot.

»» And because of that is difficult to make hairstyles on him, also the majority of them will get messed up by the speed he runs, so there is no point to do it if he won't spend most of the day inside.

»» But he will let you put certain ornaments on his head, now nothing that calls too much attention or is fragile, cause he won't accept those. The ones he would like the most are those that can be put on the band on his head.

»» Now, the only day he would let you do a hairstyle and he goes out, is on the day you two get married, or whatever ceremony they do to make a couple oficial (besides mating). And if anyone comments on it he will rub in their faces that he is getting married and they aren't.

- Bankotsu:

»» Man has a braid 24/7, his hair is begging for something different, also I don't think he cares much about his hair. He only puts it in a braid cause that way it doesn't get in the way of him doing chores or fighting.

»» If it wasn't for his "siblings" he would have cut it a long time ago, and probably with something that was not meant to cut hair, so it would look ridiculous.

»» Bankotsu is fighting to the death almost all the time, so if you do a hairstyle different than his usual, make sure it doesn't have a way of being undone or messing up his moves, cause this could cost his life.

»» He doesn't care, so he will walk around with the silliest hair and don't even acknowledge it. Jakotsu will see it and will care and make him or you undo it and make a proper hairstyle, if you do make an actual hairstyle and look good, maybe Jakotsu will ask for you to do it to their hair later.

- Naraku:

»» Naraku is another one that does not care about you playing with his hair or not, as long as it doesn't happen in front of his enemies somehow.

»» He might even let you do hairstyles, considering you won't try to make him look silly or make "children's hairstyles" on him, if you do make these, he will either take it off right away or stop you midway and don't let you touch his hair for a long time.

»» He likes displaying power and riches, so if you make a hairstyle that shows that off, with or without ornaments, it doesn't matter, as long as he looks handsome and powerful he will like it.

(This next paragraph will contain spoilers)

»» Now for his clones/incarnations, they will all be very much fans of you playing and doing styles on their hair, depending on the incarnation they won't let you know, but I do think that they have the same feelings for you that Naraku does, but they cannot "control" it as much as he can.

[bassettmemes]

THEY’RE CREEPY AND THEY’RE KOOKY. ↳ a collection of lines from the first season of netflix’s wednesday. these are in no particular order and will contain spoilers for the show. some lines have been edited for clarity or to give options.

“those are all traits of great writers. and serial killers.”

“the first boy/girl/person i kiss would turn out to be a psychotic, serial-killing monster.”

“how do you feel about scary movies?”

“we work. we shouldn’t, but we do.”

“hummers stick together.”

“being your friend should come with a warning label.”

“you giggle when you text, which is a 24/7 addiction.”

“[name], the mark you have left on me is indelible.”

“i act as if i don’t care if people dislike me. deep down... i enjoy it.”

“are you really going to make me ask?”

“i want to assure you i remain as cold and heartless as the first day we met.”

“i’ll survive alone. i always do.”

“i could die alone!”

“we all die alone.”

“as soon as the dirt hits the coffin, i’m out.”

“[name] always looks half dead.”

“i actually fillet the bodies of my victims, then feed them to my menagerie of pets.”

“if you need me for anything, anything at all, i’m only a crystal ball away.”

“everyone would know i failed to get the job done.”

“not hugging is kind of our thing.”

“the only person who gets to torture my sibling is me.”

“you guys are making me nauseous. not in a good way.”

“my personal philosophy is kill or be killed.”

“you growl in your sleep.”

“i don’t know who etsy is, but i doubt she was an outcast settler.”

“if i am the monster, then why haven’t i killed you?”

“for some reason i cannot fathom or indulge, you seem to like me.”

“seriously, you could cut the tension with an executioner’s axe.”

“i’m not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material.”

“i will never fall in love, or be a housewife, or have a family.”

“i swear on my late scorpion’s soul, my hands are clean.”

“they couldn’t even spring for real pig’s blood. it’s only paint.”

“you know the old saying: never bring a knife to a swordfight. unless it’s concealed.”

“they want to turn me into a version of herself.”

“i find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.”

“it takes a special kind of stupid to devote an entire theme park to zealots responsible for mass genocide.”

“emotions are a gateway trait. they lead to feelings, which trigger tears. i don’t do tears.”

“you’re really bad at cheering people up.”

“this reminds me of when you got your first grave-digging kit. you were so happy you nearly smiled.”

“there’s that biting sense of humor that i always adored.”

“if he breaks your heart, i’ll nail-gun his.”

“why would i share information about an ongoing investigation with a high school kid?”

“don’t you want eyes and ears behind those ivy-covered walls?”

“did you think i was going to judge you over some lousy prank?”

“i consistently stalk my parents.”

“i brought my pocket mace. the medieval kind.”

“it’s not my fault i can’t interpret your emotional morse code.”

“there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being proven right.”

“i’d rather stick needles in my eyes. i’ll probably do that anyway.”

“if you hear me screaming bloody murder, there’s a good chance i’m just enjoying myself.”

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FHJY EP. 5-11🚨

1 theory and and an observation I made for FHJY from episode 7-11!

1. Yolanda Badgood.

I've been thinking a whole lot about Yolanda Badgood ever since we discovered what happened to her in episode 9. 🥲

She was like...my favorite teacher so I have the right to be sad! 😭

1st thing I wanna say is that...just cause I've been posting scenes from episode 7 but I'm fully caught up to episode 11 right now.

In episode 7. There's 2 things that happen that are alarming to me somewhat, and these are things that occur before episode 9 where we find Yolanda's body.

1. Kristen goes to talk to Yolanda about Lucy Frostblade but doesn't get a very high roll and uses a cursed Fig bardic to get more info from Yolanda about Lucy.

2. Kristen tells Yolanda about how Lucy Frostblade switched their deity and Yolanda said she was going to go talk to Principal Grix about it but Kristen said that talking to Grix wouldn't be a good idea, so Yolanda goes to talk to Jace Stardiamond instead.

I know that we assume that Yolanda died because of the events that occurred at Frosty Fair...and that very well may be. But I really doubt that the rat grinders had any kind of specific target just on "Yolanda". I think Yolanda died because she got "too close" or meddled with something she shouldn't have.

I definitely don't think the Rat Grinders had any type of beef with her? Unless maybe I'm wrong?

I don't fully know. Just because...well...if they did have beef with her, that is also Buddy's teacher but then again...I don't know exactly how much the rat grinders even care about each other as party members or how much they care about moving into a "pass-fail" type situation.

But then there's also the thing about Jace. Could Jace be involved with this somehow? Have the rat grinders been getting by so well because Jace is secretly supporting them behind the scenes? Did Jace have something or anything to do with Lucy? Wouldn't that explain something if Jace was maybe hiding that form of Lucy changing her deity and that's why Yolanda never even got it? Jace maybe never told her cause he didn't think it was necessary because he wanted to "cover this up"?

I don't fully know. I'm overthinking with my theories and I'm- 🥲

2. Baron and the Mysterious Voice

This isn't really a theory but more-so an observation I guess?

In episode 11, we discover the name of this dead god that is apparently Cassandra's spouse that she was in some kind of arranged marriage with. I'm a tad bit confused because in episode 11.

Baron says, and I quote: "The Nightmare King, very angry, once again in the arms of HIS loving partner. I think you should be very afraid Kristen Applebees, but not of sweet little old Baron from the Baronies. You have plenty of fish in your fish pot to fry with your fish oil."

What strikes me a bit weird about this is that Baron refers to the Nightmare King/Cassandra as "HE/HIS" and that's like...now I don't fully know because MAYBE this is a slipup on Brennan's part? It COULD be! I don't fully know. But I don't think that it is considering that Baron does have a "stark FATHER" which I assume is also in reference to the Nightmare King. Father being another term used under "He/Him".

So, then I went to go back to the mystery voice again that we heard at the end of episode 5 "Mall Madness".

And the mystery voice who I ASSUME is this "Ankarna".

This voice says, and I QUOTE: "SHE is at my side once more."

"Do you wish for divinity?"

"I shall give you a master you deserve."

There was ALSO RED, CRACKLING LIGHT when he opened that portal that "YES" came out of!!! 0_0

The voice continues to say to Kristen: "I am coming for you. And when I find you, I will break you in a way that none who loved you will recognize the ruin I have wrought. Lean your soul in closer, that I might give you more than words."

So this Ankarna seems to be VERY hostile with Kristen! If this is Ankarna speaking! Which, I ASSUME IT IS considering that Cassandra is BACK at their side! I don't want to assume Ankarna's pronouns. But, Cassandra is back at their side and when Kristen heard that voice, she said she wanted to try to mentally link with Cassandra but this is the voice she ended up hearing instead.

But what's a bit puzzling to me about this is how Baron refers to the Nightmare King/Cassandra as "He/Him" and Baron also mentions his "stark FATHER"! Another implication here of Baron using "He/Him" when talking about Cassandra.

But then Ankarna uses She/Her when talking about Cassandra.

I mean...it could be that Cassandra is gender fluid and goes by every pronoun??? It's just something I find to be interesting.. again...not any theory but just a cool observation that I've made. 😁

I'm trying to think about more theories as the show goes on but that's all I have for right now! 😂🤣💀

If I get another lightbulb moment, I'll post about it later! 😂🤣👏

[unhappy-day-in-hell]

The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel, Episode One: part 1

Hazbin Hotel is finally coming out and I want to talk about it!

Seems unreal, doesn’t it!? After four years it’s here, and it’s one of the biggest train wrecks I've ever seen with my own two eyes!

Like many people, I used to be a fan. I got into Hazbin at the end of 2021, and stayed with it until mid-2023, when I woke up to the series’ flaws and saw how horrible Vivziepop was as a person. But for that time, Hazbin gave me something to look forward to during a dark time in my life. I was excited for it. I liked the idea it would be a complex, dark, and nuanced look into some dark topics. I was convinced Angel’s trauma would be handled with care, because Addict handled it with care. I was convinced Hazbin would be a show that said “no one is beyond becoming a better person if they just make the decision to try, no matter how much bad they’ve done.” Being set in Hell, where the UNIVERSE ITSELF has given up on the souls damned there (the furthest extreme you can possibly get to), was a good way to exaggerate this conflict.  

Spoilers: It wasn’t that! Apparently it was never meant to be that in the first place!

Vivziepop threw out the original premise that everyone loved in favor of a Heaven war! She ripped off the “Rose Quartz = Pink Diamond” reveal with Rosie-Lilith-Eve. By extension, they de-clawed Alastor by making him Rosie’s pawn. (I loved Alastor. I wanted to see more of his deranged self; I wanted to see what he would do when he was proven wrong when redemption was possible.)

When I watched Episode One, I started writing my thoughts down. Then I tripped and wrote 13,000 words.

So I’m gonna post them here as a review! It’s long, so I’m going to break it into four parts.

I can be very forgiving of flawed projects, but in regards to Hazbin, I’m petty. No nitpick is too small. I will compare it to the pilot (because it’s in that Viv-canon-limbo where you need to have seen it but she pretends it’s not canon), and I’ll have tangents and rewrite ideas.

The story-crafting for this show is one of the more important elements to me, so I give a lot of attention to that.

And there will be SPOILERS, including all leaks! So just be careful if you don’t want spoilers or leaks! 

Let’s go!

Part 1: //

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

--Hazbin Hotel opens with a huge exposition dump about the supposed creation of Hell.

And IMMEDIATELY, we’ve run into a problem.

Sometimes, stories will open with lore dumps like this. They can be useful in giving the audience important knowledge, or setting the stage for the world. However, this lore dump provides us with neither of those things.

Even for people who aren’t religious (me), the story of Eden is really well known (even just the pop culture version of it.)  That means you don’t need to tell us the creation story at this moment-- What we NEED right now is to understand what this version of Hell is like.

What info do we need in order to understand the setting of Hell that Charlie lives in?

Important stuff like this: Hell functions like a big city with laws, and isn’t like the pop-culture fire and brimstone image we might have; dead sinners manifest with new bodies and are exclusively in the Pride Ring, which makes them the property of Lucifer, and they’re immortal unless killed by angels; angels come down once a year to erase them to keep them from becoming too numerous. Emphasize that it’s like a shitty country, with shitty jobs and leaders, Lucifer at the tippy-top. Emphasize the Sinners’ fear of the annual exterminations -- emphasize that Charlie feels helpless but wants to save them.

Your job as a storyteller is to tell us what we need to know, when we need to know it.

Right now, we don’t need to know why Hell was created – we need to know how Hell WORKS in the present. That’s your goal, to bring us into the world.

The only necessary information this narration gives us is that “exterminations exist." Everything else about the deeper lore can be shown to us later, after we’ve had some time to get to know the world.

(Have this be a fairytale Charlie tells during an emotional, quiet moment; or in a flashback, Lilith tells this to a baby Charlie. Or it can be a musical number Lilith or Lucifer sings for her, trying to make themselves look better than they actually were.)

--“Angels are beings made of pure light who worshipped good and shielded all from evil.” WE’RE FIVE SECONDS INTO THIS AND ALREADY WE HAVE A HUGE THING TO UNPACK. Buckle up.

So Hazbin's lore goes like this: the Angels already exist, and they worship a vague figure of “Good” (who isn’t God), and defend people from “Evil” (who isn’t the devil, because Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet.) Since Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet, evil really shouldn’t exist yet. Where is this evil coming from?

(I have a bad feeling it’s Roo -- the Root of Evil, that character Viv drew years ago and said is a looming presence in the distance. Is Roo some kind of “eldritch abomination”, who existed before the angels? Sadly, I think that’s very likely, at this point.)

Either way: Good and Evil are forces that already existed at the start of creation, before Adam and Eve and everything else, and Lucifer and the Fallen Angels had nothing to do with it. Which just doesn’t mesh, if you’re going to have a Christian base for the lore.

Also: It says the angels defend people from Evil. But who are the angels defending? They explicitly show that humanity hasn’t been created at this point, because we see the birth of Adam in a few moments; so who the heck needed defending during this period of time!?

…

Alright, to get this out of the way: Hazbin Hotel won’t use God as a character, apparently because they don’t want to offend anyone, or so I heard. It’s something to debate; was this a good idea on their part, or is it cowardice? For me, I personally feel like it’s the latter. The show has already taken many other incredibly sacred figures and stories, and jumbled them up and tweaked them for the show’s awful lore -- and Viv has never cared about offending anyone before so why would she care now -- which is why it feels spineless to me, for them to NOT go all the way and just use the Capital G himself. Plenty of other stories have used the Christian God as a character just fine.

If they’re worried about doing it tactfully, the solution is to just… NOT write God as an asshole? Maybe try for some genuine sincerity in the writing for once? Make him the single character in the cast who is never played for a joke, and whose personality has no stupid quirks. Have him be very distant, maybe even locked in Heaven’s Palace, that way you don’t have to show him more than a handful of times, but the audience will know he exists; and use his limited screentime to make him display wisdom and warmth.

Maybe he acts like a distant observer of the Universe, and he clearly knows something we don’t; he tut-tuts at the bad things, but “This, You See, is how it Must Be. And by the end of the show he’s right because everything works out for the good. Or... something.

My point is, they already used all this other sacred stuff from the bible, they might as well go all the way. (Viv certainly didn’t have a problem using Lilith or vodou symbols, did she?)

--Lucifer was a dreamer who was deemed dangerous to the order of Heaven. Then he fell in love with Lilith for her fierce independence and they wanted to share free will with humanity.

This story. This rewriting of the usual biblical tale to make Lucifer sympathetic.

It just doesn’t work.

It also ties back to their refusal to use God as a character. The character of God was an INTEGRAL piece of this mythological story, and God and Lucifer were inseparably intertwined figures in it. Lucifer’s entire rebellion and “Pride” sin was against God. You could say... Lucifer has major fucking "Daddy Issues." (That's a phrase Alastor will say later!) To take away his Daddy Issues is just so lame.

Even worse, this story is trying to paint Lucifer as a misunderstood artist who cared about creation. (He's so different from the actual mythological figure, it makes you wonder what the point of even using these figures as characters is.)

…There are two possibilities.

Possibility One: I wonder if this is a “sanitized” version of the story that Lucifer tells Charlie to make himself look better. (This feels very much like one of those “history lessons” that a fantasy world will introduce to the characters early on, only for that history lesson to be shown as a lie later on.) But if that’s the case, it’s WEIRD for Hazbin Hotel to do that with the story of the Garden of Eden?? Everyone/most everyone in the audience will already know the gist of how the Eden story goes, so they'll know this retelling isn’t right -- so what, are we expected to wait for Charlie to gormlessly stumble into the truth, ~as a twist~ that GASP D:> her father INTENTIONALLY fucked humanity over!?!?!? HE DID IT ON PURPOSE AND ALL THE SUFFERING OF HELL WAS HIS GOAL!?!?!? DAD HOW COULD YOU. That’ll be a shitty twist. The audience already knows this, so it’ll just be pounding our heads into the wall waiting for Charlie to get there.

(And also, it’s very suspicious they don’t actually SAY what Lucifer’s “ideas and dreams” were for creation. So that could be a lie by omission that he uses for his fairytale. In reality, he might have had awful, shitty, malicious ideas, which Heaven stopped him from doing, and Lucifer’s been a big baby about it ever since.)

Possibility two: This is legitimately the retelling of the Eden story in the Hazbin Universe. Which just suuuuuuucks! If Lucifer was a kind, caring individual, why would he let his Hell Kingdom become a total SHITHOLE of suffering? Wouldn’t he be a kind ruler? Wouldn’t he try to run the ship better?

And it’s a horrible decision to woobify him in general. You’re seriously going to de-claw THE DEVIL? You’re gonna rip out his teeth and make him soggy!? You’re gonna make the King Of Evil, The Father of All Lies, LUCIFER, EMBODIMENT OF PRIDE, a wet meow-meow sadboy who did nothing wrong?? COME ON!! What makes Lucifer an interesting character IS THAT HE MADE THE CHOICE to fuck everything up on purpose! He’s interesting BECAUSE of how he, to this day, wants to ruin the Earth to stick it to God! You can’t just take that away from him!

It’s incredible that these two possibilities are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but both are unsalvageable. There is NO winning with this backstory. They fucked up.

--Ah wait there it is. The apple is the same color as the Vague Evil’s eye from above.

Yep….

Man, making Eve the twist villain of the story (before or after Roo shows up? Is Roo inside of Eve controlling her? It doesn’t matter). You couldn’t write a worst twist.

I ask you: Why is it Eve, and not Adam who is the secret twist villain? Or, why isn’t it Adam+Eve TOGETHER who are the twist villains?

If this were the only instance of female characters being demonized, I wouldn’t think anything of it -- but there is a clear pattern across all of Viv’s writing. Viv is a known misogynist, and this feels like an extension of her misogyny. Of course the twist villain is female. Of course Roo The Secret Eldritch Abomination is female. The male characters get sympathy, or stuff handed to them. Lucifer is a good lad who did nothing wrong! Alastor isn’t evil, he was hired to protect the Hotel and is a father figure to Charlie! ADAM got to go to Heaven and Eve didn’t!

I have absolutely no doubt that the blame will be put on Eve, and Adam will be given a pass because Eve tricked him to eat the fruit of knowledge, or something.

--Yep, this thing is animated like a Root. It’s totally Roo.

--Eyes… just like Roo’s root tongue. Yep.

--Heaven only allowed Lucifer to see the bad of humanity, never the good.

They really ARE trying to woobify him, aren’t they? At this point, the only way they could salvage any of this is by making this a sanitized bedtime story (which again wouldn’t work in itself.)

This is the fucking DEVIL we’re talking about.

He is the King of Hell, and therefore, he is the ruler of the Princes of Sin, the Ars Goetia, and the legions of Hell that are trying to corrupt the Earth! We see in Helluva Boss that demons do actually go to make Earth worse. If Lucifer is King and didn’t want this to happen, he has the power to stop at.

Plus: there are portals to go to Earth, and magic to watch the Earth as seen on Helluva Boss. So Lucifer has every means to look at the Earth any way he wants, and could see the good the Earth has to offer…… and it's because he’s the one bringing evil to the Earth in the first place in order to destroy good (technically to fight against God, but God ain't here, so "Good" it is.) That’s still Hell’s MO in this world. We’ve seen this on Helluva Boss, which is canon to this universe. And you cannot convince me that the King of Hell was “oblivious to it” or "the other royal demons have their own power and Lucy can't stop them" or some excuse like that, as if the Princes of Sin and the Ars Goetia are doing it secretly under Lucifer’s nose and Lucifer doesn’t know it’s going on. You cannot convince me of this.

Plus even then -- if Lucifer were still a sadboy who WANTS to see the good of the Earth (even if all he sees is the bad), that means… in theory, he has a “good heart”. So why isn’t he a kinder King?

Because this is either a fake fairytale or Viv is a bad writer who doesn’t think anything through. (It’s both.)

--Lucifer lost his spark, huh? What does that actually mean? Does it mean his title as King is only symbolic and he doesn’t do any ruling? (This can’t be right – we see later in the episode Lucifer still has some authority over various things, like meeting with Adam but foisting that responsibility on Charlie.) Does losing his spark just mean he gave up trying to be good, and now just revels in evil?

And, as the embodiment of Pride, shouldn’t Lucifer of all people be the most stubborn, unshakable person in existence? Instead of losing his SPARK, he should just grow jaded and bitter but still have that fire to prove he's better than everyone. He’s the King of Hell for a reason.

(And if Lilith thrives, why isn’t she the ruling Queen of Hell?)

--So Lilith uses her powers to Empower Demons…

This wording is VERY suspicious, and once again, feels like a sanitized bedtime story for Charlie.

What does empowering demons actually MEAN? Huh? It sounds very good in this fairytale, but look at the evidence presented to us. We see what Hell is like (...eventually.) It’s a shithole where everyone is suffering and constantly beating and killing each other. For all we know, her “empowering demons” actually means she encourages everyone’s worst behavior, gives sinners powers and weapons that they can use against each other, and is the reason why Hell is so awful.

…Oh god, if LILITH is the cause of Hell being bad, and Lucifer is a Good Boy who sits back and doesn’t do anything, then it’s another female character being written to fuck everything up!

(We don’t know when Eve takes Lilith’s spot, but I don’t think it’s quite at this point in history. So Eve doesn’t get the blame here just yet. Hopefully?)  

--Overpopulation was always a bad motivation for Hazbin Hotel. I thought that even when I was a fan. Because: if Hell is a finite space where you can run out of room… then so is Heaven? If you start redeeming sinners for the sake of giving Hell more room… theeeeeen eventually HEAVEN is going to get overpopulated and run out of room. What then?

Hell also has other Rings the sinners are not allowed to go to. Are we going to mention the other Rings’ existence at any point? Will the idea of opening the other Rings up to sinners even be presented as an option at any point?

How much of Hazbin’s lore is going to be locked in Helluva Boss, unable to be shown in the series proper? Will the Princes of Sins, the Hellborn demons, the Ars Goetia ever make an appearance, or are they not allowed to? Will Charlie ever have to deal with the fact there is an entire slave caste in Hell, the Hellhounds? Is she going to free the Hellhounds? Imps are also oppressed, will the show ever explicitly TALK about that? Will the worldbuilding show us how imps, hellhounds, and Sinners intermingle in Pentagram City?

CAN HELLBORN DEMONS BE REDEEMED AND GO TO HEAVEN?

So many questions. And knowing Viv’s style, I highly doubt we’ll ever get any answers.

--So Charlie inherited her mother’s dream. But they completely neglected to mention what Lilith’s dream actually was. Do they mean she wants Charlie to “empowering sinners,” in general? Or did Lilith, specifically, want the exterminations to end?

They use such vague words, when this is one moment they should just give us a clear answer. This whole backstory was a mistake and a waste of time, but if you are going to use it to set up Charlie inheriting something from Lilith, you have to make it clear what she’s inheriting.

And also, while it’s not ENTIRELY a Chosen One scenario, in the pilot we got the sense that Charlie was the one who made the choice to try and help sinners, on her own. Now though, Charlie was GIVEN this dream by someone else, because she can’t have agency. It would be one thing if Lilith just taught Charlie to feel compassion (that would be fine, parents teach their kids morals all the time), but Charlie still came to the redemption conclusion on her own – it’s another for her to be said to have “inherited this from Lilith” or is carrying on Lilith’s legacy.

.................

With the opening monologue over, the only thing we know is that the lore is very messy. It has a Christian basis, but it's been fucked up so badly that it makes you wonder what the point even is.

Good and Evil are living eldritch forces that existed before creation and have nothing to do with God, Lucifer, or anything else like that.

There is no God, (who is the ENTIRE CENTRAL POINT for the biblical-inspired stuff in Hazbin); instead a whole Council of Elder Angels rules the universe.

Roo has no basis in anything.

I think in some tellings, Lucifer was the first Angel? Even if not, he was one of the highest. So Lucifer should be one of the ruling angels. They have to severely weaken him as a figure in order to make him under the control of the other angels. (After all, in Christian mythology, it's God who made Lucifer fall. Another way his absence fucks the story.)

And my final takeaway from combing over this lore is: why didn't Viv just make her own fantasy world? Everything in this show is only passingly similar to the stuff it's based on. If you're gonna take these aspects from religions and fuck with them so much, just make your own fantasy world where you can do whatever you want.

That was only the opening monologue. This is gonna be a long ride guys!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Tell me more about your feelings on Hazbin Hotel.

Part of me doesn’t want to answer this question, because of how popular this show is on Tumblr.

And I know that people will be like.

“What do you know, you’re a Christian, of Course you’d have some problems with it.”

Yes, I am going to disclose that. I am a Christian. Not ashamed of that. Still working to be a better one. But I can be objective enough to view it as a writer, and that at most my personal bias will only be a slight enhancement of my view.

And these are my unfiltered thoughts on this show.

But for my opinion of Hazbin hotel. The original Pilot was interesting. A place trying to reform sinners in the last place people would think to be reformed. (Spoilers ahead)

That pilot premise is interesting. You see Hell as a cesspool of the absolute worse people. (Like Los Angeles but with more cannibalism) and it takes the “Hell is other people approach”

The songs were fine, the animation was great, and the characters introduced were intriguing. So much potential depth to them, theories can speculate. And of course the big question of. “Can someone in hell actually be redeemed?” And we even have a character pointing out “of course not, they’re in hell. Their chance was before this?”

It raised this question of, if you know your doomed, why try to be a good person? And That is fascinating.

Then the show finally airs. And it’s just another “Heaven is corrupt” storyline. And it’s not even done well.

(The whole retelling of creation made my eyes roll. Trying to make Lucifer to be the good guy? How original (sarcasm). And not even done well. Because it’s Charlie narrating this, which makes it be like Charlie knows all this and is doing all of this pointlessly)

Hells gonna rise up against it and all that. The hotel was basically pointless.

The show goes on to constantly contradict itself at numerous points that leaves me more confused.

Yes there is an interesting character (Alastor) but outside of a great soundtrack and animation… the writing of the show is a mess.

It feels both rushed and too slow. The characters are speedrunning their arcs, yet the plot is crawling.

Let’s then not forget the fact that Angel power and weapons are said to be the only thing that Perma kills sinners and angels. Yet sir pretentious dies and instead of permadead, goes to heaven? What fucking logic is that?

Also it says how only Angel weapons and powers can hurt angels (they make a whole point about it) only to show Vaggie and Lute have a whole ass fight hurting eachother with tables and s***. Unless they’ve been blessed them chairs…

Also where do the souls that perma die go? Detroit? Because if Sir pretentious can go to heaven after dying, what the deal with all this? Is Hell actually hell? Seems more like purgatory.

And then you include the helluva boss lore as they take place in the same universe. And MORE questions get added.

But that’s a can of worms for another time.

More importantly, Charlie, the main character hardly gets any development moments. Her issues are TOLD not showed.

Vaggie is also a mess too, like her whole thing is protecting Charlie, and helping her. But then she gets told that she has to fight For Love and that’s how to win? You mean what she’s BEEN DOING THE WHOLE TIME?!

All the stuff with Angel Dust, the writing for that is fine when showing the messed up situation he’s in, but then after the Song “Loser, Baby” he’s suddenly months sober? Speedrunning a bit too much.

Side note: HOW DOES HEAVEN NOT KNOW HOW PEOPLE GET INTO HEAVEN?!

Like they genuinely seem like they don’t know? From my understanding, there is no Big Man making all the calls. Thats not corruption. Thats incompetence.

So if it’s just angels in charge, THEY should know. Like show that they’re tilting the scale or maybe denying certain people that DO follow the criteria. Because with the incompetency of it, it basically leaves the door open for potentially EVERYONE to get into heaven.

Yet then the show shows how awful people in hell are, like it’s clear there are people that deserve hell. Maybe I’m overthinking it, maybe I’m not thinking about it enough. But it’s a really dumb system.

But the biggest glaring hole in this show is the fact that there is no point for heaven to actually do the purge in the first place.

Hell being overpopulated shouldn’t matter. Only Angel power and weapons can actually hurt angels. Why would they worry about an uprising. Heaven could easily wipe hell. The only people that could probably do damage is Lucifer and the leaders of the rings of hell. And even then… That’s like 7 against ALL OF HEAVEN!? Even if we assume overlords and some high level demons could do similar… Heaven still takes it. (But then again the Lute and Vaggie fight might contradict that. Hard to say it’s so confusing)

That all aside, is it an awful show? No. It’s just so riddled with plotholes and pacing issues.

Would I recommend this show to people? No.

Would I recommend the sound track? Probably, the songs are catchy. Can’t deny that.

Everyone has their own opinions and tastes, but the show has too much of a mess for me.

[flameohotpotatooo]

For those who play DnD and Baldur's Gate 3

If you could give companions (and npcs) different classes/subclasses from other sources, what would you give them?

Read bellow

Lae'zel: Battle Master fighter fits her fine but I'd multiclass her with Drakewarden Ranger. Favored enemy? Also a magical dragon pet?

Karlach: Barbarian also fits her, but Juggernaut? Hello? Best for a Barbarian on front lines of a war on higher levels

Shadowheart: First of all, I wouldn't keep her as a cleric, but a paladin. She doesn't have the wise energy that comes with cleric. She's a devotion paladin. BUT if I want to pick a cleric subclass for her, twilight is a cool thing. Not dark as Shar and not light as Selune. She's the middle line. The only trickery cleric I can get behind to work is Jester by Laura Bailey.

Jaheira: Druid is cool, ranger is better (for her) I see her as a resourceful and more dynamic flexible like a ranger is both in utility of a fight and nature. Either Beast master or Primeval Guardian.

Halsin: He's fine where he is. Moon druid is good for him. I thought of giving him Blood hunter order of lycan and have him turn into a were-bear but I think blood hunters are a bit too harsh and aggressive for him.

Gale: Evocation wizard is cool, but for Gale I go for Chronurgy (thanks critical role) Gale wants to fight his goddess one way or another, give him the power to manipulate time. It's something that out of books and he'll fullfil the prodigy type.

Astarion: I thought Blood hunter? But he's not a fit for subclasses. Have a vampire dealing radiant damage is a funny image tho, ngl. But keeping him a rogue, and make him swashbuckler. They're charisma build rogues and he's a charismatic asshole.

Wyll: he's a warlock, his story is a warlock, so fiend pact of blade he stays for me... But! Hear me out. Palock. Paladin warlock. Paladin of redemption. Unless you have him kill karlach then he's Paladin of conquest.

Minsc: ... Gee fuck! He's a challenge for me bc I love rangers and he has the sweet baby barbarian vibe for some reason but he's not a barbarian either. I keep him as he is bc he confuses me.

Dame Aylin: mommy is paladin coded, she's best for Paladin of glory. Or ancient. Have it your way.

Isobel: Cleric of light, sure... Multiclass her with druid of stars

Ketheric Thorm: Paladin of either devotion (bc obv devoted to Myrkul for his debt) or conquest bc of the fear and intimidation he rules with.

Enver Gortash: Yes yes I'm gonna say it... Artificer. Either Mechanism or armorer, but I go far to say he can be a bard too. Bards harness the power of their words, they are jack of all traits, and can have expertise in many tools. It's not a written rule to have all bards as musicians. Lawyers can be bards, artists can be bards.

Orin the red: She's tough for me tbh. To pull tricking and passing as someone else you need high charisma. She doesn't have sorcerer or bard vibe, not rogue or warlock either. Blood hunter (heh) profane soul needs pact with higher entity (Bhaal) and I think this class can suit her. I'm open to criticism on this take.

Durge: I won't choose sorcerer for them. I find gloom stalker Ranger better fit for a serial killer. But sorcery, sure... Evil devine soul and when redeemed durge (spoilers) dies and Withers brings them back, it's up for debate to loose the sorcery or be other subtypes.

Share your takes.

[bcbdrums]

Given the fact that we were talking about our perceptions of certain kinds of ships in regards to Stein and how they suit or do not suit his character, how do you feel about smut/the relationship dynamics within Stein x character smut fics?

All righty then...! Here comes a very long rambling of my headcanons about Stein, his two primary relationships, and his relationship with those deeper intimacies. This takes some turns before it gets to the main point but well, I love talking about this man. Extremely long post under the cut.

Also - there are two blogs I tag at the very end of this post - you two feel free to ignore all my ramblings, just know I praise you both at the end and I still re-read your Soul Eater stories VERY regularly.

I'm truthfully still trying to reorganize my thoughts on this specific topic because 1) I have listened to many a headcanon from others on the subject and I always try to give validity to their thoughts even when they differ from mine, and 2) I've also read tons of smut fic with Stein out of sheer desperation for...well, Stein fic. (Come on Stein fandom where you at? Write me some gen fic too, lol)

I have not read too many fics of him with Marie cuz those always contain manga spoilers so I'm skipping those for now until I finish reading (exactly halfway through!). So what I've read is mostly Stein/Spirit smuts and just a couple with Marie, and I want to say….almost zero?? I think zero of those fics (and boy I've read plenty) have "hit the spot" in terms of what I would want for a Stein smut. They're good stories, in some cases great stories, well-written and thoughtfully conceived, but they're not fitting my headcanons and interpretations of who I see onscreen (and who I see in the manga so far).

All that said now… Some of my own relevant headcanons for him, and then I'll get more into fic of others.

I go back and forth toying with the idea that Stein experimented with intimacy just a little as a teen. He's not immune to puberty and hormones; he's human whether he likes it or not, which isn't to say mind over matter doesn't work for him. (Clearly it does, in staving off madness among other things.) But he's a scientist. He's curious. And I can see him justifying an experiment or two in his teen years. But they would in fact be just that, experiments. It's still a big maybe. I can't say for certain he would, it's the sort of thing like…if all the dots line up just right, he'd attempt it. If not, he wouldn't. And it would only be with those two people: Marie and/or Spirit. He doesn't trust anyone else enough. (Yes, I'm on board with the popular fanon that Marie was one of his other weapon partners after Spirit.)

Another teen headcanon... I can also easily see a sort of angsty distraction possibility for him. When he loses Spirit to Kami, I can see him getting into a "romantic" relationship with Marie as sheer distraction, and even misguided retaliation. Spirit "cheated" on him with another meister and abandoned him, so why shouldn't he do the same with another weapon? Which sucks for Marie but well she's not healthy about relationships any more than Stein or Spirit are. But this is just another sort of maybe-thought; another situation where all the dots would have to line up just right for him to go for it. But I can see it, no question, just like the prior thought.

As for Stein as an adult, at the point we see him in the show… While I think relationally he and Spirit have the most interesting dynamic to explore, the one he shows more openness toward is Marie. It's clear that he cares for her. And he doesn't fully understand that either. Now I don't think he wants to get into bed with her, or marry her, or anything traditional to a romance. But I also don't think Marie is going anywhere. Thinking post-anime now…. Unless he gives her a sign that there is nothing between them, I think she's staying put. But sadly for her, I think there is something between them... Sadly because, Stein doesn't know what it is, and it's not "love" the way that Marie wants it. It's just something he's unfamiliar with. Meanwhile she's devoted to him, poor woman.

Now, end of the anime… Let's talk about this…. Marie helps him back to sanity with her healing wavelength. But…then he's just "okay"? No he isn't. Look at that man. His dark circles are darker, his eyes are more haunted. That man has been living off madness and cigarettes for weeks. When is the last time he ate anything? Showered? Legitimately got any sleep?? How he's even standing up let alone fighting Medusa is beyond me, and then he performs freaking major surgery and then waltzes into the death room afterward like he's fine. Because...that's who Stein is.

Stein will fight until he is incapable of fighting anymore, to serve those he loves. Yes I said loves. And it is agonizing how much he strives to show his love for others, and it's something he doesn't even realize he has within him. He thinks he can't understand love? It's because he feels it so deeply and passionately it's beyond definition. Part of this however I'm also certain is motivated from his deep desire for purpose as an adult. The manga shows that aspect of his character even more-so than the anime (in what I've read so far). That man is desperate for purpose and to belong somewhere, with someone. He can't escape his human nature even if he doesn't understand it, can't define it, and even though it drives him crazy all on its own…

So bringing this back to Marie… End of the anime. I don't think Marie is leaving. She's gonna stay, help nurse Stein back to health and sanity despite his pretending he's fine (or perhaps even sheer ignorance of his condition), and Stein…is gonna be confused the whole dang time about his feelings for Marie. He knows he feels something but he has no idea what it is or how to process it. But "love" in the romantic sense he doesn't possibly consider, because well...his conceptions of that sort of thing aren't based in anything healthy (see: Spirit's relationships).

So yeah… She's not leaving. He won't reject her attentions because he does care about her, just not in a way he understands and also not in the way she wants. And as she starts to realize that he has some kind of feeling for her, I think she'd turn up the romance and she'd make a move on him. OR…she'd play the extremely...long...patient game, and wait for him to make a move on her, when it's within his comfort zone. And let me be clear… This man still does not know what love is in this traditional sense, does not understand love. He knows what physical attraction and hormones are and darn him he can't shake those either, but as an adult he wouldn't act impulsively on them nor would he confuse them with love. Stein is the ultimate master of mind over matter. If he were to sleep with her, it would be a choice; a decision he makes consciously and deliberately. I see this within the realms of possibility. But if he chooses it himself, if he's the one who makes that decision simply out of his wanting to…it would be a long, long time that that woman is waiting for him. But I do think it possible. The question is simply, how long will she wait. And she's also the type to try to stir things up (see: her behavior toward Joe in the manga). So who knows when they may end up in bed together... These dots are more complicated to align than those of his teenage years. And if Marie made the move first...I think he'd accept it. Because, see again, his wanting to belong with someone, and he knows he feels something different with Marie.

As for Spirit, well... Stein sees that Spirit likes women. And Stein sees that Spirit can't commit. I think Stein "loves" Spirit more than he loves Marie. First love, young love... Spirit is the relationship of his life, even though that's yet another thing he cannot possibly understand. I think that while part of him, the mad obsessive part, and the curious part, does want to be close to Spirit in the intimate way…it's not out of a healthy desire or even typical motivations. It would come from a desire to possess, from his deeply human but inexplicable yearning to be closer to the one he loves even though it's not the right type of love for that type of intimacy. Not really sure Spirit would be all-in if Stein were to make the move... I think Spirit would take persuading. It's another circumstance where all the dots have to line up just right, and in this case probably more while caught up in madness than in sanity. Because as previously mentioned… In his right mind, Stein knows that Spirit likes women and more importantly that Spirit cannot commit. And he's ironically smart enough to know not to attempt a traditional human romance with someone who cannot commit. I don't think Stein would himself attempt intimacy with Spirit in his right mind at all, unless something happened to make him utterly desperate not to lose the man... Another instance of, all those dots have to connect.

But ugh, the angst. Spirit abandoned him after five years... Stein is not going to willingly subject himself to possible heartbreak again. Plus, he does not think Spirit has forgiven him for the "experiments." I think he thinks Spirit only hangs around him now as an adult as his handler, despite desperately wanting his friendship again. But I think he figures it's a lost cause so he just takes what is offered and never pursues more.

Okay but before I digress further into my endless thoughts about Stein's and Spirit's relationship (I'll do another post for that maybe), back to the point of your question.

I am really not one for labels, partially because I don't understand them but also because I think the spectrum is just so deep and too much defies definition. But if I were to label him, I guess I'd go with...gray ace with demi leanings…?

The man is driven only by curiosity, about anything and everything. But the level of intimacy we're talking about is more than he ever wants to trust anyone with. It's always gotta be on his terms, and more often than not…his terms would be unhealthy.

So let's talk about what shows up in fanfic, since that was what the original question was about. And once again, I like to lend validity to everyone's interpretation. Just because it isn't mine doesn't mean it's wrong or shouldn't exist. But you did ask about MY thoughts, so that's what I'm sharing here.

Once again, I've barely touched Stein/Marie fic because I'm avoiding manga spoilers. In the one or two I've seen, he comes across as not connecting emotionally in the typical way, but knowing that there is indeed something different about being with her. He knows she cares about him, and he cares in return. But it doesn't come across as anything intimate on his side of it. This isn't a characterization I particularly like, because Stein as an adult... As I said, I think he'd choose that intimacy if and when he wants it. In the stories, it comes across more as him just doing her a favor, just going along. It doesn't sit right. But like I said, that's only two stories. For other Stein/Marie, I reserve opinion for later.

Stein/Spirit... Okay. I've noticed a great many commonalities in the fics I've read. And this isn't a taste or preference thing; like I said I have devoured almost every smut fic just in desperation for any fanfic of them. Would prefer more gen fic less smut personally, but anyway.

Most fics have Stein in the dominant role, Spirit in the submissive role. I understand that interpretation but it's not how I see them. I see them as equals if they were to get into that type of intimacy. There is often a lot of bloodplay, frequently madness on Stein's part, major instances of non-con, pet play, BDSM, sometimes light cannibalism... It all suggests an impersonal and unhealthy relationship most of the time, which again...is not at all how I see them if they were to become a couple. Could such things come about? Unhealthily, possibly. But darn me and my desire for happy endings.

These two men are so broken, that if they were to become a healthy couple...I feel like it would be slow, cautious...extremely hesitant. There is extreme distrust on both sides, and also misconceptions about how the other feels. Which...I will save that analysis for later. Focusing back on smut fic.

I have seen only a few that touch on the give and take in a trusting relationship (all by the same author) that come closest to what I feel is accurate to the characters onscreen as I see them, but still the emphasis is too much on lust. It still isn't hitting the spot for me due to a lack of that relational development... Make no mistake, the stories are great, but I personally am hoping for something much deeper.

In my view, Stein just does not seek out physical intimacy in that way. I don't think he can fully escape the innate human need for touch, but in terms of a drive to get into bed with anyone... I think the occasional human desire for it crops up, and he easily ignores it/packs it away because it's not useful to him. It doesn't bother him. He doesn't think about it.

So this is where that...gray-ace, demi vibe comes into play for my view of him. Talking about Stein here as an adult and in control of himself, not consumed by madness... This is I supposed a bit of a summation of my thoughts.

If he did get into a relationship with anyone (and again I think his only choices are Spirit and Marie), it would not be based on the physical at all. I also don't think he would rush into any relationship. It would be a long process before he trusted the person enough to consider them a romantic partner. And really, we could get away from the word romance entirely... Life-partner is a better word, in Stein's case. If the person wanted physical intimacies, I think he would be responsive to that. The other person would be in the lead, but in no way dominating. It would have to be an equal trust thing or else Stein would nope out hard. Stein would gradually learn what it is he likes physically, and how to give his partner what they want. He can come to enjoy it because this is his life-partner, the one he belongs with, the one who needs him and is part of his purpose. But again...the physical is not something that drives him at all. Not in how I see him portrayed onscreen or in the manga.

So, overall, in my point of view nearly all smut fics miss the mark. Now...the stories I've seen where I think the physical intimacy is nailed don't even get to smut. Those are the stories by @asymmetryestablished (AO3 NothingSoDivine) and their characterizations of Stein and Spirit defy description in any words I have. The other author who nails it is @wispforever (same on AO3) and the closest to physical intimacy they get is dancing, but my gosh still the characterizations are utter perfection. I will be re-reading y'all's Stein/Spirit stories forever.

I hope I did in fact answer your question, but overall, I was delighted to just spill out so many of my thoughts about Stein even if in summary form. Yes this was a summary... Okay. I'm done. Thanks.

[ritz-writes]

@celestialcrowley said shed want to see some of my wing fic, and that was all the prompting i needed lmao. so heres the first 1800 words of

who needs wings when you have a boyfriend

Fandom: Good Omens (no season 2 spoilers) Relationships: Crowley/Aziraphale (pre-relationship) Tags/Warnings: injury, wing fic, angst, hurt/comfort, torture (implied/referenced), dismemberment (wings), whump, fainting, hurt aziraphale, worried crowley

Word Count: 1,876

THIS IS A WIP. It is open ended because it's not finished, and probably wont be for a long time. It is also not beta-read, so there will be errors. Do not repost anywhere else.

Aziraphale loved having Crowley over. It was his favorite activity, just talking to the demon. Just being in Crowley’s presence made him feel better, made him feel complete.

He couldn’t tell if he was distraught or relieved that Crowley wasn’t in the bookshop now.

Aziraphale had been standing in the middle of the shop for about an hour now, too scared to move. He had been called up to Heaven earlier. Gabriel was there, of course, as he always was. He always had something to nag Aziraphale about. Rightfully so, Aziraphale knew of course, though he honestly couldn’t remember what it was about this time around. But Gabriel started going on a rant about multiple chances and learning lessons.

For a moment, Aziraphale thought he was about to Fall like Crowley had. A part of him wished that was what happened. Perhaps it would have been less painful.

But instead, Gabriel took his wings.

“A necessary punishment,” he had said. “Temporary, of course.”

Angel wings couldn’t be stripped away so simply, at least not permanently. Unless God Herself took them, or someone acting on Her behalf, they would eventually grow back within a month. But an angel’s wings were more than just an extra limb. It was a part of them, a part of Aziraphale. Having them ripped away left him empty.

Not only that, but it hurt. His throat was still raw from screaming. Gabriel had been none too gentle about it, telling him it was his own fault. A part of Aziraphale believed him—why else would Gabriel being doing it, after all. Another part didn’t, the voice in his head sounding an awful lot like Crowley.

He almost felt content with just standing in the middle of his shop for the next month. The store was closed and the windows were covered. If he was lucky—or maybe it was unlucky—Crowley would be away on a mission for the next few weeks, and Aziraphale could act like nothing had happened when he returned.

Aziraphale knew it was just shock and depression. Having your wings ripped off felt like having a piece of your soul stolen. It wasn’t pleasant physically, and emotionally and mentally was a whole other thing.

He knew he should call Crowley, tell him what happened, but he couldn’t get his body to respond. And even if he could move, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He knew as soon as he did just how badly his back would burn and ache. His legs felt numb, but he was far too scared to sit down on the couch behind him. Even the smallest brush against the fabric would be too much for him to bear.

“Angel?”

Aziraphale held back a flinch. He blinked, not having noticed Crowley entering the shop.

Crowley took off his glasses, blow furrowed as he took in the angels appearance. “You alright?”

Aziraphale opened his mouth, but no words came out. He could feel his emotions starting to come back slowly, his eyes burning.

Crowley moved closer. “Aziraphale? What’s wrong?”

“Crowley.” He meant to say more, but that was all he could manage, which seemed to make the demon more concerned.

Crowley scanned the bookshop before his gaze landed back on him. “Aziraphale, what happened? Are you hurt?”

“I got… called up to Heaven.”

Crowley’s face spasmed between anger and worry. “When?”

Aziraphale glanced to the windows, suddenly noticing the sun was no longer out. Maybe it had been a bit longer than he originally thought. “I… I’m not entirely sure, really.”

“Well, what did they want?”

Aziraphale swallowed, grimacing as the action aggravated his throat. “Gabriel. He was angry. I-I made a mistake, I think. He...” His emotions were beginning to overwhelm him, his vision starting to blur with tears. “H-He said it was a necessary punishment. Temporary.”

“Punishment? Angel, what happened?”

Aziraphale’s mouth quivered, a tear slipping down his face.

“Aziraphale.” Crowley cupped his face, gently but firmly, wiping the tear away. “What. Did he do to you?”

“He took my wings.”

He said it with such a quiet, steady tone, one that didn’t match his feelings at all. His heart was racing, mind spiraling out of control. His breathing began to slowly speed up, finally coming to terms with what happened and what he lost.

Crowley looked mortified. He said something, but Aziraphale couldn’t hear him over the sudden ringing in his ears. His wings were gone. His wings were gone. He would get them back eventually, but they were gone.They were ripped from him, and he could still feel the burn of the pain, the agony etched into his brain and back. He felt like he was going to throw up or pass out.

He didn’t realize his body had picked the latter until his legs buckled and his vision went dark.

Distantly, he could hear Crowley yell his name.

---

Aziraphale floated along the edge of awareness. All his senses were watered down, though he didn’t really mind it. Having them muddled meant he couldn’t feel his back.

When he finally started to float back up to consciousness, he tried to fight it. He didn’t want to be awake or aware. He just wanted to stay in his little void until his wounds healed, or maybe until his punishment was over.

But there was an oh so familiar voice calling his name softly, a voice he never could figure out how to ignore.

Aziraphale groaned, nearly a whine, into the pillow against his cheek, squeezing his eyes shut as his nerves came back online.

“Angel? You with me?”

Aziraphale made a noise of disagreement.

Crowley hummed in understanding. “Yeah, I’m sure. How’re you feeling?”

Aziraphale took a breath and cracked open his eyes. He was on his stomach, arms at his sides, laying on something soft that certainly wasn’t his sofa. His eyes blurred then focused, Crowley’s face coming into view. His hair was rustled and his glasses were off.

“Awful,” he answered, throat raw. He closed his eyes again, trying very hard to ignore the burn on his back. “What am I laying on?”

“Miracled a bed after you took a swan dive,” Crowley explained. “Since you still haven’t gotten one.” He blew out a large breath. “Right. I need to take off your shirt now.”

Aziraphale’s eyes flew open. “I beg your pardon?”

“I need to see the…” He gestured over Aziraphale’s back.

Aziraphale paled, unable to look Crowley in the eyes. “Ah.” He shifted, then winced, barely holding back a yell from the pain. “Why didn’t you just do it when I was asleep?”

“Unconscious,” Crowley corrected tightly. “And I’m a demon, not an animal. Wasn’t gonna without your permission. Besides, I can’t actually take your wings out myself. You have to do it.”

Aziraphale frowned and pressed his face farther into the pillow. He made his decision. He much rather Crowley had been on a mission right now. Anything to keep from having to release whatever was left of his wings. “I’d much rather just ignore them, if I’m being honest.”

Crowley sighed. “I’m going to actually burn Gabriel alive for making me have to ask this, but…” He leaned forward, an expression anger and regret evident on his face. “Did he… were they cut or pulled?”

Aziraphale shut his eyes tight as the memory passed over him. The blood, the fear, the pain. “...Pulled. One was—” he held back a gag, “One was snapped, I believe.”

Crowley breathed in. “I’m going to murder him,” he growled quietly, before saying gently, “Angel, I have to look. Without your wings, you could get an infection or something. You know that.”

He did know that. Having your wings torn from you left you at the mercy of illnesses and diseases while outside of Heaven. And if they were ripped out it was more than likely going to end up infected in some way.

So, despite not wanting to, Aziraphale nodded in permission.

His waistcoat, shirt, and tie were miracled away and he had to physically stop himself from shivering, knowing it would upset his back. He slowly moved his arms up to hold onto the pillow, grunting and tearing up as he did so. After giving himself a moment, he took a few shaky breaths before commanding his wings to emerge.

He immediately had to muffled his wails with the pillow.

The pain was indescribable. There was an awful ache where his wings met his back, while the wings themselves were burning. It felt like they were on fire, even though they weren’t even there, at least not in full. By the time he fully materialized them he was panting, nearly sobbing into the pillow.

“Fuck,” Crowley breathed. “What did they do to you?”

Aziraphale knew it was a rhetorical question, but turned his face to answer anyway, if only to make the demon feel better. “It’s… it’s only t-temporary.”

“Temporary or not, this is insane!” Crowley covered his mouth with a shaky hand. “Shit.”

Aziraphale flinched, biting his tongue to hold back another cry, as Crowley laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I can’t heal it, but… I might be able to take the pain away. Not fully, but I can take the edge off at least.”

Aziraphale almost sobbed again. The pain was already unbearable, but it suddenly felt worse when presented with the option to ease it. “Yes, please, please.”

Crowley’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “It won’t be pleasant. No, scratch that. It’s gonna hurt like Hell. Literally. Only for a few seconds, but—”

“I can handle it. Just do it, Crowley, please!”

There was a beat of silence as Crowley pressed his free hand against his spine, just underneath the damage.

Then agony.

Aziraphale screamed as the burning suddenly got worse, writhing under Crowley’s hold. “I know, Angel, I know—I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Just hold still. It’s almost over.”

Aziraphale clenched his teeth, almost afraid he was going to break them. It hurt, it hurt, God it hurt so much. It felt like his wings were being stolen again, only this time they were being thrown into Hellfire while still attached to him. It danced along his feathers, his back, his bones. It tore him apart from the inside, turning him to ash. It was excruciating.

Then, just as quickly as the pain had started, it stopped.

Aziraphale’s body went limp in the bed, his body trembling in short bursts and his breaths coming in ragged and heavy. His back was blessedly numb. Well, not fully. He could still feel the pain, but it might as well have been numb when compared to how it felt before.

He turned his face away from the pillow, opening his eyes. He tried to thank Crowley, or maybe apologize for screaming, but he couldn’t get his mouth to work, only managed to let out a few garbled sounds. Everything felt hazy. His vision was hazy too, everything darkening at the edges.

Crowley leaned into view. Just like when he first showed up, Aziraphale could see his mouth moving, but couldn’t make out the words, the sound warbled and far away.

His eyes slipped closed to the feeling of a hand in his hair.

maybe if enough ppl like where this is going ill get more ideas for how to continue it. i have another 2700 words written, i just dont know how to continue it

hope yall liked this lil bit tho

[avidabsurdist]

Every time a new Brandon Sanderson book is released everyone updates their suggested reading order but all you need is the patience to be uninformed and enjoy the book!

But depending on your preference the best story to start with will be different.

If you want a crash course on the basics of The Cosmere's magic physics (Aka Investiture) so you can hypothesize on how other magic works I suggest the short story "The Emperor's Soul" as a starting point, it gives a solid overview of Realmic theory and covers Identity (a rather difficult idea to communicate) very effectively. (this is the start of the PhD route)

If you want something that's more like a traditional fairy tale as an intro I suggest Tress Of the Emerald Sea, which doesn't require a PhD in the shattering to understand. (though if you're going the PhD route I suggest reading this one later because if you're questioning the magic it's a far more confusing one)

Warbreaker is a good middle ground, if you're going the PhD route I suggest this second (it covers Intention which "The Emperor's Soul" doesn't), It's not a bad starting place either, it was my first book in The Cosmere and it's up for free on The Sand-Man's website. It's also all-around an excellent book.

I'm going to be (a tad) controversial and say I enjoy Elantris, it's certainly not Brando-Sando's best work but it was his first, and it's not a bad book to start with! just keep in mind that many of the issues in the book are things he improves on in later books.

Mistborn is two (soon to be 3) series, we distinguish them by 'Era' and they should be read in order if you want to make sense of what's going on.

Mistborn Era 1 (3 books) is also an excellent place to start, it's a YA-style series so you follow a teenager in a Post-(more like perpetual)-Apocalypse, but it's also an Epic high fantasy so if you like those and don't mind romance It's a good one.

"Mistborn Secret History": read this after Mistborn Era 1 if you're going the PHD route read anytime before The Lost Metal (Era 2 Book 4) for everyone else. (PhD track: if you want the most out of it I suggest also reading White Sand first)

Mistborn Era 2 (4 books) is a high fantasy Western set in the same world much later in time, 10/10 no notes, it's excellent.

The Stormlight Archive, TheBigOne™ It is planned to be a 10-book series with accompanying Novellas. I suggest reading in chronological order including the short stories, published so far that would be:

The Way of Kings

Words of Radiance

"Edgedancer" (novella)

Oathbringer

"Dawnshard" (novella)

Rhythm of War

Start with this series if you thirst for sprawling high-fantasy novels with page counts that would make grown men weep (the Audiobook for RoW was like 48 hours long)

The entirety of Arcanum Unbounded is not required reading, (unless you're on the PhD track) but it contains both "The Emperor's Soul" and "Edgedancer", you should probably read Elantris, Mistborn Era 1, Alloy Of Law (MB Era 2 Book 1), and Stormlight (up to Words of Radiance). If you enjoy Graphic Novels and dislike spoilers/rereading stuff when you haven't finished it yet I suggest skipping the White Sand excerpt.

White Sand is also not a terrible intro, it covers a theme in B-Sandy's work that isn't directly related to the cosmere but will give you a good insight into whether you'll like his work or not: the idea that skill is developed, not just inherent. if you're like me and dislike graphic novels GraphicAudio™ (actually a company not a joke) Has an Audio rendition that has some narrative differences from the Graphic novels (iirc at least one character is a different gender) But the Graphic novels also have a random boombox on a planet with no electricity so either should be fine.

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is in a similar situation to Tress of The Emerald Sea except instead of a classic European Folktale Vibe it's got a Western Interpretation of Anime Vibe, ofc it's high fantasy like all Sandon Branderson's work so it's world is inspired by Japanese culture rather than just being Japanese.

The Sunlit Man read Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell (Arcanum Unbounded), and at least Oathbringer (Stormlight Archive 3) before this one, unless you like being thrown into the deep end, Mistborn Era 1 & 2 would also help.

There are other routes than Ph.D., there's also the Galactic Politics route, The Secret Society route, The Worldhopper Watcher route, The Ancient History route (Aka The Shattering route) ect

if you want specific reading route recs just tell me what you're looking for I can help!

[meowunmeow]

Undead Unluck Chapter 198 Spoilers!!

Part 1 because of picture limit!

EYYY I WAS RIGHT (here)

But hmm, seeing how Luna is more surprised that Soul out of everyone is there rather than someone being there in general, UMAs seem to regularly watch fights

Lol what if we're all UMA Reader just looking at all this (jokes)

"roughly 200 years" *proceed to make average human lifespan less than half of that*

It seems to be implied that the Top Hat guy we saw in the Unlucks Meeting is the first Unluck and Cap Boy was the direct predecessor of Fuuko.

This is the third time that the story has pointed out the strength of legacy. First being how Juiz gets stronger with each loop because of everyone's effort then finally deciding to pass the baton to Fuuko, second being how Feng will never be at his peak because of his ability then getting beaten by Shen and third one being this.

While Juiz and Victor are the first hence the strongest, they never got the chance to pass this on to someone hence not having the advantage of compiled experience. Of course, now we got Andy and Julia so.

"I'm looking forward to this, I really am" Man, how long has this poor guy waited for Juiz and Victor to notice him

This is like stealing your friend's pen and waiting for them to notice but they never did 😞😞

Okay I literally had to Google but a threatmate is when you beat the ever living fuck out of your opponent and never give them a chance to fight back. And that's exactly what's happening.

Soul seems to be able to predict the entire plan despite rarely taking a front seat spectation. Is it a benefit of soul?

LAWD HARUKA'S BACK IS SO MEATY

Also, Soul's personality really is the most humanlike. Most UMAs tend to be egotistical (Spoil, Sick and now Beast) and see humans as puny weaklings (Sick again and Change) while he sees them as [somewhat] equal. An example is his first appearance and how he treated Fuuko.

Little Guy Julia!! She's so cute

"Undead and his ilk" if you don't put respect on my wife's name right now- Is bro really that salty from the regular beatdown given by Andy??

I'm shaking the bars of my enclosure oh Fuuko... I want you so bad pls shoot me

Oh damn Soul Bullets can curve now. Unless the whole thing about Soul Bullets is how it's a 100% guaranteed hit because it targets souls rather than the physical body.

It's really a big risk as it could've hit Julia instead but she's strong so 🙏🙏

Soul, are you that desperate for a fight? You're starting to sound like you're on the human's side...

F-Fuuko... Goodness gracious... I shouldn't lust for a woman who's spoken for.. but I will >:))

Even Soul is recognising Top's power upgrade that's how you know he's the strongest he's even been rn (love you Top)

Soul is implying that Luna is like a mother figure. That just means everyone got hella mommy issues.

Luna seems to be caught off-guard. Is Luna surprised that Soul could be so humanlike? Or is it because he finally reveals that he knows they're not the same as Sun?

[baldursgatethoughts]

Theory: Why all the origin characters have the pasts they have

The Origin characters and potential party members in this game are generally amazing and so well crafted. One thing that make them stand out from characters of other games is how their narratives are so intrinsically linked to the main story, and that in itself is not only good world building but most likely part of the story itself.

Heavy spoilers for the entire game coming up >>

Do not read unless you have played through the entire game from start to finish and want to know even more than one playthrough would reveal:

All of the original tadpoled characters share a type of background; they've all been manipulated, indoctrinated, groomed and abused.

This is a very likely reason for them specifically being chosen my the Guardian aka the Emperor, since he can read all of their minds and knows their thoughts, feelings and weaknesses.

In the intro scene you can see the Emperor* putting the tadpoles in our eyes on the nautiloid. He is making all the origin characters into "beautiful weapons" (as he says to Shadowheart) to combat the elder brain as part of a plan to regain his freedom, something you can hear the story of in Balduran's song itself:

When three, though dead, assailed his port (the three start their plan) transformed (he is a mindflayer) he fell their thrall, succumbed (he was mind controlled) as threat from nether years arose to conquer all (the absolute came) Now hope is gone, or so it seems, but game's not over yet New cards are drawn, new hands are played, newcomers place a bet A knave, a wizard, devil, gith, the odds are cast anew (the tadpoled ones) And Baldur's fate now turns upon the whims of fortune's few

The Emperor thinks these characters would be especially easy to control and manipulate, as they never been independent and free, at least not for a long time.

Astarion - by Cazador

Gale - by Mystra

Shadowheart - by Shar (through de Vir)

Karlach - Gortash and Zariel

Wyll - Mizora and Zariel

Lae'zel - by Vlaakith

The Dark Urge - by daddy Bhaal

Except for this bringing an additional layer of epic proportions to a game where divine forces are battling for the destiny of souls and power (Bhaal, Myrkul, Bane, Jergal, Selune, Shar, Mystra, Raphael/Zariel, Vlaakith, Orpheus, the Elder Brain to mention the most involved ones, Lliovathar, Magblubiet, Cyric and Silvanus among others also being in the game) which adds so much lore lore, understanding and impact to the main story, this also makes for very interesting character arcs.

You can through the game bring all of the origin characters further into the manipulative machinations of their evil patrons or you can free them from their past abusive cycles.

Astarion - free from his master or make him the new evil master

Gale - have him succumb to the magic power hunger or make him see that there are other values in life than magic power

Shadowheart - make her into the weapon Shar has been forming wants or let her reclaim her lost Selunite past

Karlach - let her give up and die from the results of her abuse or embolden her to fight back to those who have wronged her

Wyll - let him be manipulated or free him to create his own fate

Lae'zel - let her keep being manipulated by a false god that will eat her or let her believe another fate of the githyanki race is possible

The Dark Urge - embrace murder in the name of your controlling dad or free yourself from your ungodly father

There are many more nuances to those quest lines of course and other options like killing everyone, betraying them and so on, but these are some of the main dichotomies when it comes to playing out the relationship between the tadpoled origin characters and their abusive gods and masters.

BALDUR'S GATE 3 - NO GODS NO MASTERS Or obedience, abuse, murder and power? ;)

You decide!

* aka Balduran, who navigates the prism heist nautiloid for Gortash, an idea the elder brain puts in his head in a dream as part of its grand design to become free again, after giving them the idea to steal the crown of Karsus and control it in the first place, and mr Balduran Guardian Emperor doesn't realize he is being used as a pawn in the elder brain's grand game. Boi this game is so full of twists and turns and lore!