#spongebob's new best friend

[linxuelian]

I felt if Jin Guangyao were a merman he'd be a squid 🦑 because of his hat

[britishsquidward]

New Profile Picture!!

Them <3333

Because you can't tell me they wouldn't get along great, like that clip in the Behind the Scenes with the goldfish, Squidward loving Plankton's song in the musical, and all the other bits like how they interact in the pre-broadway during Plankton's song, this is literally "Grumpy miserable pessimist with a big heart that he pretends he doesn't have" being best friends with "Optimistic maniacal evil genius with a big heart that he pretends he doesn't have" and YOU CAN'T TELL ME THEY'RE NOT GREAT BECAUSE THEY ARE

...I love my Chum Squad AU

[maxthedrawingperson]

COSMIC COMRADES.

[siglai]

im so eepy boy good jgijt

[decomercializedfebreeze]

yalli met a little boy in the woods today

[snootlestheangel]

Hear Me Out

Guys, just, hear me out: YouTubers/Streamers AU for COD. There was a series of posts on @cod-dump 's blog about what games are banned for the boys and I've just been thinking about this but with Ghost, Gaz, Soap, and Alex where one of them is the actual streamer/gamer dude and the others just almost always play with him (maybe Roach if we went on the path that he's not actually mute, just kinda hates talking)

Retired or discharged for whatever reasons, the 141 are actually kinda happy to be living semi-normal lives. Maybe they're not all entirely civilian now, maybe Price has a position that doesn't require him to be on the field but he's still teaching/being a Captain.

But he's constantly telling the boys to find things to do to keep themselves happy. Especially Gaz and Soap, cause the military is kind of all they know, they've never had to be civilians really as adults.

Ghost is transitioning fine, and he's been a huge help for Soap, but Gaz is still kinda struggling. Eventually something happens and Alex is part of his life, but it's still not really what Gaz needs to feel "normal".

So Soap and Alex convince Gaz to start streaming/recording videos of their gaming sessions. It's a slow start, and Gaz is getting frustrated.

Until one time they play something silly but incredibly rage-inducing. It's a trending game because it's designed to pit you against your friends but is still silly nonetheless. There's one clip in particular that starts trending and becomes the reason Gaz's channel starts to take off.

The clip? Gaz yelling at Soap for something and Soap immediately just cursing him out in straight Scots only for Alex, an American, to scream into his mic as loud as humanly possible "WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!" after having been dead silent for the last 2 minutes. Why did he scream this? Not because of Soap's Scots, but because he had secretly just won the round after having lost the entire time they'd been playing.

People eat that shit up! Suddenly everyone's like "damn there's this hella attractive dude that records gameplay with his friends and they're all really funny." Everyone falls in love with Gaz's appearance first, but then they actually hear him and his friends interact and it's just trading insults and stupid jokes, acting like there's no one watching and they're suddenly kids again.

It eventually comes out that Gaz and his friends are all veterans, and despite the air around military not being the best, there's no denying that caring for veterans is a must. People slowly start to support Gaz's channel/streams, and before he knows it, he's actually got quite the following. His whole thing is about "wanting to do something to distract himself and others from the shitty aspects of life with a few laughs and some good games"

Eventually they convince Ghost to start gaming with them. It makes Gaz's popularity grow because now there's this really deep accent in the mix that's completely clueless as to what he's doing like 90% of the time (I just have this gut feeling that '22 Ghost is so fucking awful at video games) that they refer to simply as "Ghost". Suddenly, the chaos Gaz and his friends are known for increases tenfold. Ghost is flirting with all of them, Soap is arguing with him over literal couple things that come with living together, and there's a new element of really dark humor that wasn't there before (there was dark humor, just not this dark)

They're playing The Backrooms one time. They're not even in the game yet, just in the lobby. Gaz is laughing at Alex's tag for the game "MYLEG!" which is a reference to that one fish in Spongebob always yelling "my leg!" after an incident. Gaz is laughing too hard to actually explain to his viewers that, yes, Alex is an amputee. Soap starts making fun of him, as usual, and that's when it happens.

Alex: "I'll take my leg off and hit you with it, Soap, I swear to god." Soap: "I forgot you were already missing one for a second there and got real concerned." Alex: "No, Soap, I planned on removing my other leg. The one that's still attached, yeah. Just like a lil *pop noise*, ya know?" Gaz: *wheezing so hard he almost throws up*

Then they're playing this silly monster/cryptid hunter game called "A Day Out" and there's skeletons every now and then on the map. Gaz walks up to one and just starts freaking out, saying Ghost's name over and over.

Ghost, freaked out: What?? Gaz, pointing at the skeleton: Look, it's you! *cackling* Ghost, after a concerning long pause: *quietly* Nah, I'm not gonna say that Alex: SAY IT COWARD Ghost: No, that's my brother *Gaz making the most horrified face as he tries not to laugh* *Alex and Soap are losing their shit* Gaz: NAH THAT'S NOT OKAY

That clip posts and the internet looses it. I see this being the actual first video Ghost is in, so for this to be the first thing the viewers get of him, it's safe to say he's a hit. It's also never explained that Ghost does have a deceased brother, so there's just an acceptance of Ghost's skeleton brother.

There's several times where they've all gotten together and played silly games like Mario Kart when there's a bunch of them. There's the sober one and there's the drunk one, where there's so many different languages being hurled as curses at each other, Gaz gives up on captioning ANY of it.

OOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! WHAT IF! Roach becomes his editor once he gets popular enough so he can spend more time playing games, solo ones when the others are working.

For a while, everyone's going crazy wanting to see what the others all look like, and sometimes (cause we're assuming the world they live in now during all this is a lot better), they're joined by Rudy or Alejandro, or both in one rare instance. Sometimes, for old times's sake, during the drunk gaming sessions, they'll call Laswell only for her to scold them. There are times they'll bully Roach who always, as the editor, changes their words from the insults to compliments. Or he definitely trolls Gaz a lot with some of the editing, and it's all around just a good time. Hence why everyone wants to know what they look like.

Then it's around the holidays after about 2 and a half years of Gaz's channel being as popular as it is. He posts a single picture on his socials with a group of people and the caption: "Love seeing the boys over the holidays."

It's such a nice photo; Alex with an arm wrapped around Gaz's shoulders, Soap and Ghost on his other side with Roach between Soap and Gaz.

And the internet has once again gone crazy. Why? Cause not only are these dudes fucking hilarious, but they're hot and taken.

Except, as they all end up teasing him about, Roach is very much still single XD

I have been watching too much YouTube lately, can y'all tell?? Haha anyways back to my hole I shall crawl

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

When will you post the y/n Meeks Martin x Ethan Landry post 😭

Right fucking now lmao.

This is my first post in a while, take it easy on me 💕

Secrets - Ethan Landry x Fem!Meeks-Martin!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: Growing up with overprotective siblings has made it difficult for you to find someone to be with, until you meet your brother's nerdy best friend.

Contains: Fluff, Angst, Some violence-ish, Oral - f receiving, riding, p in v, teasing. (If I missed something, let me know:)

A/N: If any of yall are familiar with Spongebob, I have the fucking suds and I'll be writing a lot the next few days lmao

Your brother and sister were so protective of you. After some of the things they’d been through, you couldn’t really blame them, and you were thankful that they were always looking out for you. The only downside? They seemed to hate every person that asked you out or showed interest in you. You were sure that you would be single forever if it was up to them, because they didn’t think anyone was good enough for you.

Once they went away to New York for school, you missed them, but with there only being a one-year age difference, you knew you wouldn’t have to wait long before you’d be heading to Blackmore. You took the opportunity to finally put yourself out there and go on dates without the twins interfering, and you were starting to realize how right they were when they told you that the guys in Woodsboro weren’t really worth your time.

When you FaceTimed Chad to let him know that you got accepted into the same university as him and Mindy, he was beaming at the news. He was going on and on about all the things he loved about New York, and wouldn’t shut up about the pizza, but you tuned out everything he was saying once you noticed his roommate in the background. His hot roommate.

“Dude, my sister got in!” Chad yelled, as you rolled your eyes. He seemed more excited than you were about the whole situation. “Ethan, come say hi.”

“Fine,” he huffed, as Chad passed him his phone. He paused for a second once he saw you, but quickly pulled it together. It was awkward enough to meet someone for the first time on a phone screen, and he didn’t want to make it any weirder. “Hey, I’m Ethan.”

“Ah, the dorky roommate,” you said, as Ethan looked away from you to glare at Chad.

“Is that how you tell people about me? You say that I’m dorky?”

“If the shoe fits…” Chad trailed off before he tried to take his phone back from Ethan.

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” he said, passing the phone back to your brother.

“Have you told Mindy yet?” Chad questioned, a smirk on his face as he waited for your answer.

“No…”

“I knew I was your favorite!”

Once Chad and Mindy came home for summer break, they wouldn’t stop talking about how excited they were to take you back to New York with them. They were heading back early to help Chad move into his own apartment with Ethan, and Mindy was moving into the spare bedroom at Tara’s with Anika. They decided that you needed to come with them, even though you wouldn’t be able to move into your dorm for a couple weeks.

“I’m not thrilled about couch surfing,” you said, as Chad rolled his eyes.

“I’d sleep on the couch. You could sleep in my bed.”

“So, she’s staying with you for two weeks? I thought she’d stay at Tara’s,” Mindy said, “What happens when you want to stay over with Tara and she’s left alone with Ethan?”

“Oh, please. Ethan won’t try anything,” Chad said, as Mindy scoffed. “What?”

“What makes you think Ethan wouldn’t try something?”

“Because he’s my boy. He knows she’s off limits…I already told him,” Chad said, as you sighed in frustration.

“You know what? I’m not doing this whole ‘You can’t date so and so’ shit that I’ve dealt with for years,” you said, as Mindy cocked her eyebrow at you.

“You’re staying at Tara’s,” she said, “You’ve gotten a little feisty lately. It wouldn’t surprise me if you tried to get with Ethan just because we said you can’t.”

“No, I’m staying with Chad. It’ll be fine. Ethan doesn’t seem like the type to try anything,” you said, as she had a confused look on her face.

“When have you talked to Ethan?”

“Oh, that was when she called me first to let me know she got into Blackmore,” Chad smirked, as Mindy snapped her head in his direction.

“No, she called me first.”

They turned to look at you, “Who did you call first?” they both asked at the same time, as you shrugged.

“I’ll never tell.”

When you made it to New York, you were exhausted. You couldn’t sleep on the five-hour flight, and the jet lag was really starting to get to you as you went to the baggage claim area to get your stuff.

“When’s your furniture getting delivered?” Mindy asked, as Chad checked his phone.

“Soon. Ethan’s here somewhere,” Chad said, glancing around for his friend that was taking you back to your new home for the next two weeks.

“I think that’s him,” you said, pointing to the guy with the huge sign that said ‘Meeks-Martin’. “Is he always that lame?”

“Yeah, poor dude can’t get a girlfriend to save his life because he’s that cheesy,” Chad said, as he walked over and took the sign from him. “We’re just going to put this in the trash.”

“Hey, it took me two minutes to make that,” Ethan said, as he glanced over to you. He noticed you struggling with your luggage and carryon. “Can I help you with that?”

“I got it,” Mindy said, grabbing the large suitcase from you. She stared Ethan down for a second before she walked past him.

“How do you deal with them?” Ethan asked, as you sleepily smiled at him.

“They’re not that bad.”

As Ethan drove, Mindy was in the backseat arguing with Chad as he sat in the passenger seat about how you staying at Tara’s would be best. You sighed as they bickered, before you noticed that Ethan kept glancing back at you in the rear-view mirror. You thought he was even more attractive in person and thought about how hard the next couple weeks could potentially be with him living in the same apartment as you.

“Seriously, how are you going to feel when those losers leave the toilet seat up all the time?” Mindy questioned, as Chad scoffed.

“I think we’re housebroken,” Ethan spoke up for the first time in the drive as he glanced back at Mindy. He quickly looked away once he noticed her glaring at him.

“Listen, Landry. I know I won’t be able to convince her, so I want to make it perfectly clear that if you touch my sister, I will kill you.”

“What makes you guys think that I’m like that?” Ethan asked, the annoyance in his tone obvious.

“They think anyone’s like that when it comes to me,” you said, smiling at him as his eyes met yours in the mirror again.

You made it to Chad and Ethan’s apartment seconds after the furniture delivery truck pulled in. Once they opened the back of the truck, Mindy’s jaw dropped.

“I can’t believe mom paid for all this stuff,” she said, as Chad sighed.

“She didn’t. Ethan and I took out loans.”

“Maybe you should’ve asked mom. She paid for all my bedroom stuff,” Mindy shrugged, as Chad sighed.

“Why didn’t I think of that?”

After the stuff for the apartment was scattered in various areas of the house, Mindy got the text that Anika was at Tara’s, and was wondering when she’d be over.

“You staying here, or coming with me?” Mindy asked but cut you off before you could even respond. “You’re coming with me.”

“No, she can hang out here if she wants to. We’re all going out for pizza later tonight, anyway,” Chad said, as Mindy rolled her eyes.

“Are you two going to argue like this until I move into my dorm?” you questioned, as the twins exchanged their glances.

“Probably.”

“I’ll hang out here,” you said, as Mindy nodded.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Later that evening after you’d helped the two boys set up their new apartment, you were starting to get hungry. Chad wanted to keep working, and you eventually flopped onto the couch, sighing in defeat.

“I’m starving,” you whined, as Ethan walked into the living room and sat down on the free cushion beside where your feet were resting.

“Me too,” Ethan said, matching your whining as Chad glared at the two of you. “What? It’s been a long day. We skipped lunch.”

“We’ll leave soon,” Chad said, as you got an idea in your head.

“Orrr you could meet us there,” you suggested. “You know how I get if I don’t eat.”

“True,” Chad sighed, “Ethan, make sure nothing happens to her.”

“I won’t let her out of my sight.”

As you walked beside Ethan, he started to make small talk. By the time you made it to the restaurant, you were in a full-blown conversation about all the interests you both had, and he was proud of himself that he didn’t get nervous when he talked to you. You scanned the restaurant for your sister and Tara, but once you noticed they weren’t there yet, you and Ethan sat at one of the tables.

“Do you want to eat now, or wait?” he asked, looking at you from across the table.

“We can eat now, I’m so hungry.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

While you and Ethan ate the pizza that Chad hyped up so much, you were surprised at how good it was. You kept talking to Ethan, but you soon realized how much time had passed, and no one else had showed up to the restaurant.

“Where do you think they are?” you asked, as Ethan sighed.

“Okay, don’t hate me,” he said, as you curiously stared at him. “I kind of wanted to get to know you without your brother and sister making it seem like I was trying to get into your pants.”

“That’s really sweet,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. “But if they aren’t here, where are they?”

“They probably went to the one on campus.”

“Did you trick me into going to dinner with you?” you joked, as he started to blush.

“I’ll be honest, I thought they would’ve come to hunt you down by now.”

As soon as those words left his mouth, Chad, Mindy, Tara, and who you assumed to be Anika walked in. Chad sighed in relief once he saw you, but Mindy just looked pissed.

“You know how many pizzerias we stopped at to look for you?” she questioned before she looked at Ethan. “Why did you bring her to this one?”

“Simple mistake,” he shrugged, as Mindy stared him down.

“Simple mistake, my ass. I told you Ethan would try something with her.”

“It’s just pizza!” you snapped, “Last time I checked, we weren’t fucking.”

Everyone’s jaws dropped at your words as the waitress brought the check to the table. Ethan took it from her, his mouth still hanging open as he looked at you.

“You want to split it?” you asked, as he shook his head.

“I got it.”

“We’re going back to Tara’s,” Chad said, as you stood up from the table to hug her.

“Hey,” you said, before you turned to Anika. “It’s nice to meet you. Mindy wouldn’t shut up about you all summer.”

“Aww, babe,” she said, pulling Mindy into a side hug.

“Look, as much as I’d love to hang out with you guys, I’m exhausted,” you said, yawning as Chad sighed.

“I really wanted to hang out with Tara.”

“I’ll walk her home,” Ethan suggested, as Mindy, once again, glared at him. “I can drop her off and go to Tara’s after.”

“No, I don’t want her left alone in an area that she doesn’t know,” Chad said, as you rolled your eyes.

“I can stay there with her, then. Seriously, I won’t try anything,” Ethan said, putting his hands up in defeat as Chad nodded.

“I know you won’t, dude. Thanks.”

As you and Ethan made your way out of the restaurant, you heard Mindy scold Chad for being so trusting. But Chad felt like he had no reason to think Ethan would do anything to betray his trust.

Once you got back to the apartment, you were tired, but not tired enough to fall asleep. Ethan was about to head to his room before you stopped him.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“I thought you were exhausted?” he asked, as he turned around and made his way towards you.

“I just didn’t feel like going with them and being there all night,” you sighed, as he sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Why are you sitting over there?”

“Because if Chad comes home and sees me sitting beside you, I’m sure I’ll be moving out of here into an unmarked grave,” he said, half-joking as you rolled your eyes.

“Please. If it was Mindy, yeah. But Chad, I don’t think so.”

“Whatever you say,” he said, scooting closer to you as he turned on the tv. “You cool with something scary?”

“Mindy’s my sister, what do you think?”

“Scary it is.”

Ethan thought that after sitting through some of the goriest movies ever with the Twins, there was no way that you’d be freaking out over some jump scares. But once you were practically in his lap, your face hiding behind your hands as the scene played out on the screen, he started to laugh to himself.

“What?” you asked, looking up at him. That’s when you realized that you were practically on top of him and went to move, but his arm wrapped around you to hold you in place.

“Your brother and sister don’t get phased by this shit,” he said, smiling down at you. He started to glance between your eyes and your lips, and he was so close to making a move, when a loud shriek on the screen pulled your attention away from him.

“This is one of the few I haven’t seen,” you shrugged, “I wouldn’t be so jumpy if you picked something I had seen before.”

“I don’t think I believe you,” Ethan chuckled, as you turned your head to look at him again.

“If you want to kiss me, you should probably do it soon. The movie’s almost over,” you said, as he smiled and leaned down.

When his lips touched yours, you felt something different than what you’d usually feel when you’d kiss someone. You immediately felt the chemistry, and with the way his lips were quickly moving with yours, you were sure that he felt it, too.

Once he pulled away to catch his breath, he had a sweet smile on his lips. He definitely didn’t expect to kiss his best friend’s sister, but he was happy that you were bold enough to tell him it was okay. Another thing he didn’t expect was for you to adjust yourself so you were straddling him, as his eyes looked into yours. His hands moved to rest on your thighs as you leaned down to kiss him again. This time, it was way more intense. Your hands were in his hair as his hands rested on the curve of your ass to keep you as close as he could.

The second the kiss got deeper, you heard the sound of a key going into the front door.

“Shit,” you said, pulling away and jumping off the couch.

“Wait,” Ethan said, as he followed you. He pulled you in for one more quick kiss before you rushed into Chad’s room and shut the door.

When Ethan walked back out, Chad had just made it to the living room.

“Where were you?” Chad questioned, as Ethan glared at him.

“My room is beside yours. I wasn’t trying anything with your sleeping sister,” Ethan scoffed, as Chad nodded.

“Sorry, dude. I had to listen to Mindy talk about how much she hated the idea of the two of you being here alone.”

“It’s cool, just don’t accuse me of shit you know I wouldn’t do.”

Ethan felt a little guilty for lying to Chad, but you were the first girl that he’d actually felt something for in a long time. After days of stealing quick kisses and steamy make-out sessions whenever Chad was in the shower, the sexual frustration was starting to build. Ethan knew that he wasn’t going to initiate it, because the last thing he wanted was for you to think that was the reason he was spending time with you. Plus, you hadn’t been left alone long enough since the first night.

“So, I think Tara and I are going to a movie tonight. You guys want to come?” Chad asked, as Ethan looked over to you as you sat on the opposite end of the couch.

“I’m not really in the mood to watch a movie,” you said, as Chad cocked his eyebrow at you.

“You don’t want to watch a movie?” he questioned, as you shook your head. “What about you, Ethan?”

“Dude, spend time with your girlfriend. I’m sure she doesn’t want a third wheel tagging along.”

“Mindy and Anika are going, too. You wouldn’t be a third wheel,” Chad said, as Ethan chuckled.

“Your right, I’d be a fifth wheel. You guys have fun. I’ll probably just play video games all night anyway.”

“Okay, I should be back around eleven,” Chad said, as he made his way towards the apartment door.

As soon as he left, Ethan was on you, literally. You moved so you were laying back as he hovered over you, his mouth moving with yours as your legs wrapped around him.

“Hey, do you want to go to your room?” you asked once he pulled away to breathe.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Within seconds, his feet met the floor, and his hands reached for yours to pull you up. He led you down the hallway to his room, before his lips connected with yours again. He backed you towards the bed, a small squeal slipping past your lips against his as your back hit the comforter. Your legs wrapped around him again, holding him as close to you as you could. One of his hands was running up your side over your shirt, until the material started to ride up. He gave you goosebumps as his fingers moved over the newly exposed flesh, before he pulled away to look at you.

“What do you want to do?” he asked, “Because if you just want to make out, that’s fine. There’s no pressure, and I don’t want you to think that I just want sex.”

”I know you don’t,” you said, smiling at him. “But if the sexual tension get’s any stronger between us and we don’t do something about it, I might actually explode.”

“So, you want sex,” he said, trying his best to not freak out.

“Yeah,” you said, as he leaned back down.

It didn’t take long for his hips to start moving, the hard cock in his sweatpants brushing against you. You gasped into the kiss every time your clit got the smallest amount of friction, before his hand moved in between your bodies so he could rub you over the shorts you were wearing.

“Fuck,” you mumbled against his lips. “You can take those off me, if you want.”

He quickly slid them down your hips before his hand went back in between your legs, rubbing across your soaked panties.

“You’re so wet,” he groaned, “Does kissing me do this to you?”

“Yes,” you said, as his lips moved to your neck.

Your bottom lip was in between your teeth as he slid your panties to the side, his finger rubbing slow circles over your clit.

“We’re here alone, baby. Don’t hold those pretty sounds in.”

Soft whimpers were slipping past your lips as his finger moved faster against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your pussy was already drenched, and you felt yourself getting more wet by the second. You whined in protest once he pulled away, but he quickly shut you up, a low moan falling out of your mouth when he easily slid two of his fingers inside you as he moved down the bed.

Your hands tangled in his hair the second his tongue touched your clit, his fingers hitting that special spot inside you. Your hips were involuntarily arching off the bed at the feeling as he struggled to keep you pinned down.

“So good,” you moaned, as he sucked your clit into his mouth. “Fuck.”

Once he started to hum with your clit in his mouth, you felt the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter. Your moans kept getting higher and louder, and he made the mental note that he really couldn’t sneak around with you like this if Chad happened to be home, because you were just so loud. He loved it, though. All the noised you were making went straight to his throbbing cock as he brought you closer to the edge. Once your pussy started to squeeze his fingers, he sucked harder on your clit, the feeling throwing you into an intense orgasm. He groaned as your shaky hands tugged on his hair, his fingers slowing as he got you through it.

Once you started to relax, he sat up to look at you as he slowly slid his fingers out. Your cheeks were rosy, your chest was heaving, and you were still a little shaky. He loved that he had that effect on you and couldn’t wait to actually be inside of you.

“Let me help you with your shirt,” he said, as you sat up and looked at him, your eyes still hazy.

“That felt so good,” you finally said, as he chuckled.

“I hope so with how hard you were pulling my hair.”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly as he shook his head.

“Don’t be sorry, I loved it.”

Once he got you out of your shirt and bra, and he slid his sweatpants down his hips, he walked over to the bedside table to grab a condom.

“You still want to do this, right?” he asked, as you smiled at him.

“Yeah.”

He slid his boxers down his thighs before he rolled the condom on and lined up with your soaked pussy. He took his time as he inched his way inside of you, a loud moan falling past your lips once he was all the way in.

“So fucking tight,” he rushed out, before he started with slow thrusts. “That feel good?”

“Yes,” you moaned, your hands reaching up to squeeze your breasts as he started to go faster.

You knew you were wet, but you could hear how wet you actually were as his cock slid in and out of your pussy. His eyes stayed on you. He didn’t want to miss any of the faces you were making.

“Can I be on top?” you asked, as he smirked at you.

“Yeah, babe,” he said, as he pulled out and laid down.

You got up and moved to straddle him, the whimpers flooding out of your mouth as you sank down onto him.

Ethan felt like he was in heaven as his hands held onto your hips. He had the perfect view of your face, your tits, and he could even see his cock sliding in and out of you. Your hands moved to rest against his chest so you could stabilize yourself as you rolled your hips, the tip of his cock giving your g-spot the attention it needed.

“Come here,” he said, as you leaned down, your bare chest pressing against his. You felt his hands snake around you to hold you close before his hips started to move, his cock thrusting in and out of you so quick that you couldn’t think straight. He was letting out soft grunts that could barely be heard over your moans. You were both getting sweaty as you clung to him, his pace not letting up as you felt yourself start to get close.

“Fuck, Ethan,” you whined, as you felt that white-hot feeling spreading across your body, your hands gripping him as he just kept fucking up into you.

“I’m almost there, baby.”

You didn’t think it was possible, but he went even faster. You were a moaning mess as he kept slamming his cock into you, before his thrusts got erratic.

“Cumming,” he groaned, as you slowly moved back to meet his thrusts as he got himself through it. “Fuck, that was…fuck.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled against his chest.

He slid out of you but held you close for a few minutes, his hands rubbing over your back as you both caught your breath.

That’s when you heard other voices inside the apartment. You shot up, your eyes looking down to meet Ethan’s panicked ones.

“Where are they?” Mindy asked, the annoyance in her tone obvious as you and Ethan jumped up to grab your clothes off the floor.

Ethan quickly took the condom off and slid his boxers on as you tried to put your clothes back on. It was too late, though, once his bedroom door eased open.

“Hey, dude,” Chad said, before closing the door once he noticed Ethan was just in his boxers. “Shit, sorry.”

Chad was embarrassed as he turned to look at Mindy before he realized something. Your shorts were on Ethan’s bedroom floor.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” Chad’s voice boomed once he opened the door. This time he was able to see you, but you’d just slid your shorts back up over your hips. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He walked over to Ethan and grabbed him by the shirt he was able to put on in those few seconds, and you could see the fear in Ethan’s eyes as he looked over to you.

“Don’t fucking look at her!” Chad yelled, as Mindy finally walked into the room.

“Told you her staying here was a mistake,” she said, as Chad got angrier by the second.

“I didn’t think that my best friend couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”

“Stop, seriously. You guys are making this more than it needs to be,” you said, as Chad looked over to you. “Calm down, Chad. He’s your best friend.”

“Last time I checked, friends don’t sleep with their friend’s sister!” he yelled, before he looked back at Ethan. “I can’t fucking believe you did this.”

“Why are you acting like I had no part in this?” you asked, as Mindy scoffed.

“Yeah, right. I’m sure Ethan charmed you out of your panties just to get what he wanted.”

“That’s not true!” Ethan snapped, his fear of Chad kicking his ass turning to anger as his friend finally let go of his shirt. “I really like her. This has nothing to do with me just wanting to sleep with her.”

“She’s my baby sister, Ethan!”

“Stop calling me that,” you sighed in frustration. “I’m a year younger than you. I’m a legal adult. Nothing Ethan and I did is wrong aside from you two saying that he needed to keep his distance from me.”

“He obviously doesn’t listen,” Mindy said, as you felt yourself start to get mad.

“You know what really fucking sucks? You two are my best friends, but you won’t let me live. You won’t let me experience things. You know Ethan’s not a bad person…you know how bad I’ve wanted to hang out with him and get to know him better, but you guys won’t let that happen.” you ranted, “I like him, too. And if I want to be with him, you aren’t going to tell me that I can’t! You better not threaten him anymore, either. I’m sick of this childish shit.”

Your sibling stared at you as Chad nodded in understanding. He had no problem intimidating any of the boys that’d shown interest in you, but out of the two of them, he was the one that seemed to be the one that got you.

“I do really like her. I don’t want us to have to sneak around, but I’ll keep doing it, if I have to,” Ethan said, smiling at you. “She’s amazing. It’d be stupid of me to not want a chance with her.”

“Do we have to sneak around? Or can you guys be cool about it?” you asked, as Chad sighed.

“I’m cool with it. Just…no hooking up when I’m here.”

“You’re okay with this?” Mindy scoffed, as Chad rolled his eyes.

“Ethan’s not a bad person. If he really likes her, what’s the big deal?”

“And that’s why he’s my favorite,” you said, brushing past them to head to the bathroom.

“Told you,” Chad said, teasingly pointing at Mindy before she smacked his hand away. “Ow!”

“Ethan, you better not hurt her,” Mindy scolded, as he nodded.

“I won’t…but can you guys get out while I put my pants back on?”

[cindylcuwho]

stepdad!chris hcs next?no rushobvi i love ur work and the stepdad!matt ones were amazinggg

“ stepdad! chris headcanons ★ “

— ꒰ 🍒 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ꒱ headcanons of chris as a stepdad (son)

— ꒰ 🐁 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ꒱ no warning, pure fluff! the kids name is aiden cus i needed a name 😭😭😭

— ꒰ 🗯️ 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ꒱ here i’m done

chris with a little kid (3-5ish)

— let’s start this off with there was no hiding your son from chris.

— chris just wanted to check the time and when he clicked your phone on, a pic of the little baby clinging to your chest with a goofy smile was staring back at him.

— he didn’t want to intrude but the questions consumed him until asking who the kid was, was all he wanted to do. “have you seen my toothbr–“ “do you have a kid or does you dad still have game?”

— when night came and the triplets dropped you off at your apartment, chris kissed you goodbye .. and then you didn’t hear from him for a straight week.

— you were used to guys running off after discovering you had a child, many didn’t want the responsibility so you couldn’t really be upset. but chris was truly the sweetest you’ve been with so when he didn’t answer his phone all you wanted to do was stay in bed and cry.

— but you couldn’t. you had work, and you had another person that needed caring. so fuck heartbreak, you didn’t need a man, you created the best one (in a non weird boy-mom way）

— chris did eventually show up at your door, and when he did it was the first time he’s ever been that serious about something. nick and matt definitely took part in yelling talking some sense into him.

— he even stayed the night, keeping a hand wrapped around you waist as you cuddled, pulling you closer whilst whispering sweet nothings and apologizing for being a jackass the whole week.

— chris woke up to the kid jumping on him. as soon as he let out a laugh from the hyperness and a “woah! hey there lil’ guy” aiden stopped and stared at him with wide eyes in awe until you finally woke up.

— you and chris were more careful since that morning, just incase you two did break things off after a couple months you didn’t want to expose your own son to that, chris was kind of upset but still respected your motherly wishes.

— a little over a year later chris was over frequently but not fully moved in. aiden was yet to be used to not being the only man in the house, which only made chris laugh anytime he’d blubber out some nonsense on how your only his mommy.

— but when he finally began thinking for himself, aiden quickly became a mini chris. in his eyes, chris was the coolest person he knew, listened to the coolest music, dressed the coolest, talked the coolest, everything.

— chris was scared shitless when you called asking if he could somehow pick aiden up from kindergarten whilst you go to a job interview. he had never been left alone with a little kid for more than five minutes, and wasn’t sure if the teacher would let the little guy leave with him, but he still said yes - not wanting to disappoint you.

— aiden was starstruck when he looked up from where he was sitting to see chris walking closer. he ran over and hugged his leg, and it’s a surprise he even let go.

— chris did anything aiden wanted to do while taking care of him, even demolishing old lego sets so he could re-build them with the help of his new little buddy.

— they colored, sipped juice boxes while watching spongebob, and even played with the cool dino toys you had gotten him.

— aiden wasn’t stupid, he knew chris wasn’t his dad and he was alright with it. the problem was when word got around that you met somebody that it not only spread across the parents, but to the kids in his class.

— all he wanted to do was play with his friends on the playground, but another little boy decided to wreck the fun and make fun of aiden for having a ‘fake dad’ ‘cus his actual one didn’t want him.

— your voice rang through his little mind as he took the words in, you always said violence would never solve anything, but when another kid decided to tease and say “my dad said he’s gonna leave just like your other one ‘cause your moms the worst.” all hell broke loose.

— aiden managed to land in the principals office, crying tears as he waited for you to show up for the parents meeting. the look on your face only made it worse, he didn’t want to upset his mom but he knew what the other kids were saying was bad.

— on the brighter side, you brought chris along with you, who had brought him a little snack to help calm him down.

— throughout the meeting chris kept giving snarky glances the fathers way. chris is knowingly on the less mature side, but hearing that not only did someone have the audacity to insult his woman, a very hard working and loving woman, they had even more audacity to do it during a dinner where his kid was bound to here it.

— the more the dad tried to explain what he meant the more chris wanted to jump up and fight him himself, but he knew to keep quiet. he’d hate himself for being the reason anybody thinks aidens lash out was because thats what goes on at home.

— the car ride home was more pleasant than aiden thought. he thought he was getting a sturn talking to, maybe even a timeout, but instead he got a happy meal and got to build more lego sets with chris.

— chris was totally taken aback when aiden began calling him dad. it was all so random too, he had simply asked for a popsicle and when received he said “thank you dad!” and continued casually playing games on your phone.

— he walked away before walking back like “???”, he was used to ‘cool guy’ and ‘chris!’ definitely not dad. he stared at the back of his little head before walking back to his original position- thinking it was just an accident.

— but then the accident happened again.. and then again.. and then within a month chris proudly wore a “father of the year” with gru on the front that matt bought him as a joke.

— he loved having little family moments with you two, and loved that he was considered part of the family. chris never saw himself as a dad, like psychically couldn’t and thought he’d always be too immature, but there he was at every single thing aiden wanted to participate in, and cheering the loudest.

— chris broke down crying when aiden came home showing off his drawn family picture. you were on the left, and there chris was on the right, with little stick drawings of nick, matt, and justin in the background.

— chris got it printed and made sure everybody hung it on their fridge, but kept the original on a wall in your room alongside the many more drawings aiden would bring home.

— ꒰ 🗯️ 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 part two ꒱ i don’t like the end but i couldn’t think of a conclusion lmao

[kitybur]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 | 𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐚𝐜𝐰𝐡𝐲

⌦ in which you, your silly friends and silly boyfriend move in together & what i think would happen.

— warnings: gn!reader, craziness, fluff, swearing

| can you write some headcannons abt how y/n would be with the rest of the group! or how the group would react to isaac and y/n hehe ANYWAY THANK U SM , love all of your content |

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• to start off, i think we can agree that living with the boys would actually be HELL.

• like you’d have to be scrubbing the house top to bottom after filming a groupchat video. but for the sake of this, let’s ignore the bad side 🤗.

• the boys would definitely love you, and treat you like their sibling (everyone but isaac ofc). they would probably be a little overprotective of you, but that’s them showing they care.

• you’re getting ready for a party? when and where. someone’s making you uncomfortable? who needs to step in. you feel me??

• these men would never fail to make you laugh if you were having a bad day. like if you had a bad day at school or work, they would instantly have you in cackles.

• they always make sure they try to include you. if you weren’t a streamer, they would make sure that you get some screen time if you like to be on film. if you don’t, they make sure that you at least go on adventures with them (especially willy vlogs)

• okay independently tho.. i feel like softwilly would be the one to include you in most things (if you weren’t a streamer like we just established). idk he looks like the type of person who wouldn’t want to leave anyone out or behind. if you were a streamer, he’d still try to include you on recordings.

• yumi definitely would not give two shits im ngl 😭 he does his own thing so i feel like he just wouldn’t bother with you (in the nicest way possible) if you didn’t want to hang out or go film a vlog. but he’s definitely like one of the funniest people when you get to know him so he’s basically your main bitch when you’re sad.

• larry would definitely be your best friend. he’s got such a sweet personality that you’d instantly click and just do stupid shit together. like you’d play loud music at four in the morning and wake everyone up because you saw a tiktok dance you wanted to try ☠️ i just feel like larry would be easy to get along with.

• along with larry, i also feel like grunk would be easy to get along with. you’d both go out shopping since he’s lowkey got drip and you’d bond over it. i feel like if grunk got close enough to you, he’d ask to watch spongebob together. whether it’s over discord or irl. it’s a special moment y’all get to have to hang out.

• tanner would be your workout buddy. he’d make sure that he spots you and vice versa, and make sure that you aren’t breaking your bones doing a new workout. if you don’t workout, he’d be your horror game buddy. tanner would even just have you in the room because he gets jumpy. and if he gets too pissed off he’d make you play. and just constantly grab your shoulders to scare you.

• and lastly, we have isaac. in this case, isaac is your bf and lord he would be the best boyfriend. 🙏 like he’s actually super tall and muscular that he would give GREAT hugs. bro and the best cuddles. literally could crush you and that’s lowkey hot 🫡.

• but no, isaac would definitely be your muse. he’s definitely got that golden retriever type vibe, maybe slight black cat. isaac would be the best at massages. idk why that came to my head. i feel like with his large hands he’d be able to give great back or shoulder massages.

• isaac would buy you a bunch of shit, like he does for the house. it could be something totally stupid and he’d be like “but it’s useful in so many ways” or “it’s cute!” when it’s really fucking ugly but you’d never tell him that.

• you WILL constantly hear gagging sounds from the rest of the members whenever you and isaac are in mere 2 feet of each other. mostly from yumi and softwilly. but it’s all jokes! most the time..

• they will also make kissing sounds when you two walk out of isaac’s bedroom and ask if you used protection. even if you have literally just woken up.

• larry and tanner would recreate any lovey dovey thing you guys do, but make it 10x more funnier. any photo y’all post together, they copy it and tag you both.

• ^^ stop tell me you can’t see that happening 😭😭

• grunk would be the supportive bsf but will threaten isaac if he takes you away when you’re supposed to watch spongebob together.

• overall, i think living with them would be such a hassle, but if you plan it right it may be fun. if you love cleaning and screaming children at midnight, this is right up your alley ‼️

• ‘kay but y’all gotta agree that living with them would actually be so fun cause they’re funny and have an amazing time doing actually anything. like they could make any regular night into an eventful night that would end in the kitchen a mess, empty cans in the floor and bodies sleeping anywhere they can find comfortable.

• and those are our youtubers/streamers 🥹

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a/n: okay pls tell me if you agree or disagree with any of these cause i was just going off the top of my head but i wanna hear what y’all have to say about it too! i didn’t really know what to write for this so it’s all based on my opinion and how i see it. i hope this fulfills your request!

[ncityprincess]

how taeyong would be as a boyfriend

minors do not interact

-my sweet lil cancer baby 🫶🏾🤲🏾

-y’all know that episode of spongebob where mr. krabs falls in love with mrs. puff and he goes overboard with spoiling her

-that’s exactly how he would be 😭

-be prepared to be doted on and pampered

-worships the ground you walk on

-taeyong is such a giving person

-if you’re with him, you’ll never have to worry about money or anything

-seeing you happy makes him happy

-you’d go on tons of shopping sprees together and he’d encourage you to ball out

-“just get all of the colors babe it’s no big deal!” “that’s all you wanted!? grab a couple more things” “try this on, you NEED it”

-meanwhile you’re trying to tell him that you don’t need all this stuff 😭 he still buys them for you anyway

-you end up meeting his family early on in the relationship

-encourages you to be comfortable around his family and even plans little outings for all of you

-it means the world to him to see you enjoying yourself

-he would go all out for birthdays and holidays

-introduces you to new thangs (i had to) and experiences

-he would love to go on group dates with your other couple friends

-arcade dates, amusement park dates, you name it!

-he’s also another one that would memorize all of your fast food and coffee orders

-brings you food without you having to ask

-loves to take you to the best restaurants in town

-but i think he would really love to be a homebody with you

-he doesn’t always want to share you with the world

-he just wants to be boo’d up with you in the house

-he wants you all to himself and will be right up under you 😌

-oh and you definitely won’t have to worry about cleaning and cooking

-he’s got that covered too

-loves to have cozy nights in at home where he cooks you guys a delicious steak and you share a few glasses of wine

-he literally cuts up your food for you so that you don’t have to

-shoot, he’d chew your food for you too if he could!

-you shouldn’t have to lift a finger when he’s around

-he’s extremely sentimental and caring too

-isn’t afraid to put his emotions out in the open

-his main love languages would be words of affirmation, gifts and quality time 🥹

-tells you he loves you at least 10 times a day

-extremely nurturing and empathetic

-i mean the man performed surgery on his fish and dedicated a song to his puppy 🥺

-you would get that treatment x100

-would let you cry on his shoulder for 4 hours straight

-needs to hear reassuring words too

-he’s just a big softie at heart

-he likes to just sit in comfortable silence with you

-sometimes he puts on a soothing playlist and just lays his head on your lap while you’re chilling on the couch

-or he’ll offer you a nice massage

-and usually the massages come with pure intentions

-but once you start making little noises of relaxation and pleasure

-those intentions aren’t so pure anymore 😈….

[partywithponies]

I watched @quinton-reviews 's new video and I wanted to do my set homework and come up with my own dream Nicktoons Unite team, except I never had any of the american channels growing up and I'm not familiar with a lot of these shows.

But nevermind, I came up with a compromise. Here's my concept for if they did a Nicktoon Unite style game but with CBBC and CBeebies characters:

1) Danger Mouse: reboot DM in particular is the obvious pick to replace Jimmy Neutron in this lineup. He's already dealt with cross-universe travel and portals in canon, and he has Professor Squawkencluck, who already just invents whatever device the plot requires. He's both practised enough at saving the world to be believable in these situations, while still being incompetent enough to need help from the others. Plus it'd be fun to see how his massive ego would react to these other guys.

2) Victor from The Secret Show: the most niche pick here, but come on. He's literally a secret agent. I'm not going to leave him out. (I dithered over whether to include Victor or Anita since I could only pick one. I chose Victor not because I'm sexist but because I just really want to hear Danger Mouse deliver the "Victor! Are you still alive?" line.)

3) Postman Pat: Now I know this looks like an insane choice. I know that making a postman fight baddies in life or death situations is ludicrous. But listen. Postman Pat: The Movie did it first. Blame them, not me.

4) Dennis The Menace: People who've never read The Beano might think that an un-superpowered 10 year old boy would be way out of his depth on a team with three adult men, two of whom literally fight evil for their job. But people who have read The Beano know that in canon Dennis has already thwarted alien invasions, travelled through time many times and dealth with the ramifications of changing the past AND avoided being beheaded, fought killer robots and man eating plants and sea monsters, toppled multiple dictatorships, got the British prime minister arrested, and fought climate change by going directly to the source and tearing down the factories. Whatever these games could possibly throw at him would be just another tuesday for Dennis.

5) Tiny Clanger: she's kind of the Spongebob of the group, both in the sense that high stakes situations and saving the world are really not what she usually does, but she would if she had to, and in the sense that she'd be the heart of the group. DM, Victor, and Dennis are all kind of self-centred assholes at heart who only save the world because no-one else will, and Pat is a middle aged British man (and therefore emotionally repressed), while Tiny Clanger is unfailingly loving, and kind, and friendly, and empathetic. Also her best friend in the world is a large metal bird, and I think Tiny suddenly riding around on the Iron Chicken would be a really cool power up for her.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *  some of my favorite quotes from the show, adjust as necessary

his chops are too righteous!

it’s evil. it’s diabolical. it’s lemon scented!

lord knows i’ve tried.

two words. na. chos.

yeah, i get called that a lot.

it's just a cruel reminder that i'm single and likely to remain that way forever.

what doesn't kill you usually succeeds in the second attempt.

stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.

goodbye everyone, i’ll remember you all in therapy.

don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

i used to have a kidney stone. everything passes eventually.

you can't fool me. i listen to public radio!

stop it, [name], you're scaring him!

do instruments of torture count?

give to the children's fund? what have the children ever done for me?

this is not your average, everyday darkness. this is... advanced darkness.

what's better than serving up smiles?

i guess i'm not wearing any pants today.

did you smell it? that smell. a kind of smelly smell. the smelly smell that smells… smelly.

wake me up when i care.

look at all the hip, young people eating salads!

he was so ugly that everyone died.

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!

well, the way i see it, there are three possibilites.

hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep.

that’s it mister! you just lost your brain privileges!

good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.

well, we lost our car again.

pull your pants up. we’re going home.

you were right. fighting is for children.

i’m a good noodle!

remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

your ceiling is talking to me!

we don’t need television.

the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

i’ll have you know i stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and i only cried for twenty minutes.

hey, if i close my eyes, it doesn’t seem so dark.

is mayonnaise an instrument?

those are some big words. i’ve never heard you use them before.

my vocabulary is infinitely expanding.

we destroyed your most prized possession.

we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.

let’s see, a five letter word for happiness. money.

can i have everybody’s attention?

i have to use the bathroom.

do you know what day today is?

could you not stand so close? you’re making me claustrophobic.

i used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.

are they laughing at us?

if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

he needs us now more than ever.

what is today, but yesterday’s tomorrow?

ice is just a myth.

this working out thing isn’t working out.

i can’t see my forehead.

i have a good idea, and no one else thinks so.

look at you, so young and happy.

i prefer to be an idiot!

sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?

don’t be sad, buddy. turn that frown upside down!

i’m ugly and i’m proud!

good! say it louder!

i can’t do it! i can’t be away from my best friend!

i need you! i can’t handle this myself!

i’m just going on vacation for a few days.

i was kinda hoping that you come along with us…

enjoy the cake everybody!

now we never have to be apart, even when we’re not together.

this is great. see you forever!

i have to keep you safe while i get some work done!

maybe he doesn’t like us.

no, are you kidding?

i propose a toast to new friends!

i guess i’ll have to move in back with my mom and dad.

he’s a thief. look at the lust in his eye…

why can’t you just accept our friendship?

[thequeendesi]

hiii!! okay forgive me bc i’ve ever actually requested something before but could you write a fluffy fezco vibe where it’s the readers first time smoking (with him, they’ve gotten high before) and they’re being really funny and silly back and forth?

Dating Fez was definitely something… new. You’ve dated nearly all types. The jock, the alternative, the musician, the nerd, and now, the dealer. Surprisingly, he wasn’t your original dealer. You used to buy from sketchy people until your best friend, now estranged, Rue, told you about Fezco O’Niell.

“You wanna hit this, ma?” Fez asked, holding the fresh lit blunt. “Why not?” You shrugged. You weren’t a roller, you didn’t really know how to. Normally, you used a pipe, or a bong. Fez took a hit, then passed to you.

“Thank you.” You said, taking the blunt in between your index and thumb. You took a hit and leaned back against the couch the two of you were sitting on. You blew the smoke out and passed the blunt back to him.

“You ever put food in before a smoke sesh?” You asked him. “Nah. But that’s a good idea. We should’ve done that, huh?” Fez took another hit, passing it back.

“To late now.” You laughed and took another hit. “You ever think about aliens when high?” Fez asked. “Definitely.” You said, before blowing the smoke out.

“You think they fly pass earth and go ‘ew’?” You asked him, passing him the blunt. “I think they purposefully go out of the way to not pass the earth.” You followed up, answering your own question.

“I think all kinds of shit when high, ma.” He took a longer hit. “You know who’d be fun to smoke with?” He asked after blowing the smoke in your face. “Mm? Who?” You asked, looking at him, eyes already half-lidded.

“Adam Sandler. But the character he plays in That’s My Boy.” He answered his question, passing the blunt. “Oh true! I’d smoke with Adam Sandler in general… or like…” you paused before giggling and taking another hit. “I forgot.” You blew out the smoke.

“No no, I got it. My dream smoke circle consists of,” you passed the blunt before holding your hand out. “Seth Rogan, Seth McFarlane, Snoop, Pete Davidson, Adam Sandler, Matthew Lillard, and Tom Kenny.” You listed.

“Tom Kenny? The fool who played SpongeBob?” He asked, hitting the blunt then passing it back to you.

“I feel like he’d keep me laughing.” You shrugged, hitting the blunt, coughing a little.

“Why y’a’int list me?” Fez picked. “I keep you laughin’.” He half smiled. “You do, but I get to smoke with you.” You nudged him, passing it back.

“You ever get to thinking about conspiracy theories?” You asked him, passing him the blunt. “Conspiracy theories? Like Loch Ness and shit?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly like that.” You said.

“You got one?” He took a hit of the nearly finished blunt. “I do. It’s gonna sound dumb.”

“Nah, lay it on me, mama.” He placed his elbow on the armrest, and held his head up with his hand. “Ok, so, what if all those mythical creatures ‘nd shit existed?” You paused, looking at him while you took a hit, and passed it to him.

“Possible.” He acknowledged. “What if they were real, but, they died and shit.” You said, trying to see if he was following your train of though.

“Mhm?” He took the last hit of the blunt and put it in the ashtray. “And what we see now are their ghosts?” You asked.

“See, you got me. But here’s where you lose me,” he adjusted himself so he was sitting in a way that faced you completely, which had you follow suit.

“What about when people see them in groups, like Bigfoot and shit?”

“Right… maybe they fucked and made more?” You laughed, which made him chuckle. “So this is what you think ‘bout when you smoke?” He asked. “Yup.”

“You think mermaids are real too, dontcha?” He leaned against the couch. “A thousand percent. Yes.” You nodded your head. “What you don’t?”

“No proof.” He shrugged.

“Exactly why I believe.” You added. “Over ninety-somethin’ percent of the ocean ain’t been explored. How do we know they don’t exist?” You questioned his reasoning. “Got me there mama.” He nodded.

“Wanna go get some McDonald’s?” He asked, standing up. “Oh God, yes.”

“You’ll say that later.”

[mustachrryluvr]

Spongebob

Joe Burrow One Shot

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none

-

“You know what always makes me feel better when I’m feeling overwhelmed?”

“What’s that, bub?” you ask curiously, having no idea where he could be going with that. 

“Watching spongebob.” 

—

—

You had been having a rough couple of weeks. Since you were still a student, you weren’t always able to follow Joe all over the country for his games. It is what it is, but sometimes it really got to you that you weren’t able to watch him succeed, or be there for him after a loss as often as you would like. Of course you could watch the games on tv, but it wasn’t the same as physically being there for him. 

You were in your very last semester of college, and Joe had always supported you and made sure you knew he understood why you wouldn’t be able to come to all of his games. He would love if you were always there to watch him in person, and he knew that would happen in due time. Once you graduated, you would have time to live the NFL girlfriend life and you couldn’t wait. 

You and Joe had only met last summer, so this was your first football season together. You met one random night in May when you were visiting your friend who was living in Cincinnati for the summer. You and your friend were making the most of your visit and were having the best girls’ night out at the bars when in walks no one other than the Bengals’ quarterback. Needless to say, everyone in the bar wanted to hang out with him. He was hanging out with some of his buddies from high school for the evening and knew going out in Cincy would be chaotic, but figured it would be worth the shot. As the evening progressed and bar goers had more drinks in them, everyone started to leave Joe alone. You both happened to stumble up to the bar in search of a new drink at the same time and the rest is history. 

Exchanging numbers with Joe that night was the best thing that had ever happened to you. You only lived an hour and a half from Cincinnati, so that made it easy to go up on weekends to see him, with the occasional longer visit when you could get off work. It was harder for him to be able to leave town to come to you with his practice schedule, but you didn’t mind the drive. 

Your relationship progressed very quickly. With not being able to see each other constantly and being semi-long distance, you were really able to cherish the time you were together. It didn’t take much time for either of you to realize how real the love between you two was. 

You feared the strain the strain on your relationship that would be caused by you being in school while he had a full football season to complete, but you guys made it work. Texts, phone calls, and facetimes made it work. You went to as many home games as you could, but you couldn’t make it to all of them. 

But that’s okay, because now it’s the off season and Joe has more free time to spend with you. 

Except it’s not okay. 

It’s not okay because it’s only the off season because the Bengals lost to the Chiefs in the AFC Championship. 

A game you didn’t even get to go to because you had an exam you had to take early Monday morning and wouldn’t have enough time to fly back to Cincinnati and then drive to your campus. 

It’s been a few days since the game and you are still feeling immense guilt. Watching the game from your apartment living room was perfectly fine util the game ended and there were tears streaming down your face because all you wanted to do was hug Joe and tell him that everything would be okay. You could tell during the post-game interviews that all he wanted was to get the questions over with from him short answers, and your heart broke being able to see the sadness in his face. He was a tough boy and hid his emotions well, but you could read him like no other. Even though you had a perfectly good reason to not be at the game, you just felt so selfish and guilty for not being there for him when he needed you most. 

Now it was the Wednesday after and things still felt so overwhelming. Joe had traveled down to stay with you for a few days this afternoon, and you couldn’t be happier to finally get to see him. But between being so busy with school and still feeling weird about missing the game on Sunday, seeing him made it all come boiling over. 

He had barely stepped a foot into your apartment when your smile faded and the tears began streaming down your face. 

Worried, he immediately dropped his things, closed and locked your apartment door, and wrapped his arms around you as tight as he could, one around you body with one hand holding your head to his chest. 

“Hey, hey. What’s up with the tears, bug? What’s going on, hmm?” he paused to kiss the top of your head and rest his lips there for a beat to see if you were calming down. Once it was clear you were full on sobbing into his chest, he gently turned his head down to try and get a glimpse of you before he spoke in a hushed tone, “Pretty girl, it’s okay to cry…but whatever it is that has you this upset, I would like to know. I don’t know how to help unless you talk to me.” 

You lifted your head a tad to speak, but couldn’t stop the tears or catch your breath to get anything out. 

“Hey, shhhhh. It’s okay, breathe with me, okay? Big breath in, and let it out.” 

Joe walked you through some big breaths for a minute until you finally started to calm down. You burrowed yourself deeper into him and his hands smoothed over your back as his touch felt very grounding.

“There’s my girl. What’s going on in this pretty head of yours?” He asked, once again placing a kiss on the top of your head and proceeding to rest his cheek there as he swayed your bodies and waited for your response. 

You sniffled a little then said, “I just missed you.” 

“Hmmm, I missed you too, but that can’t be all of it, bug. We are apart from each other all the time, and I’ve never seen you react like this.” 

You sighed, annoyed but endeared that he knows you that well. 

“I just…I just am so sad I wasn’t there for you Sunday,” you mumbled out, feeling fresh tears on your waterline. “You needed me, and I wasn’t there.

He squeezed you tighter and waited for you to continue. 

“I just feel guilty for not being there when you needed me most. It’s just been an overwhelming feeling…you work so hard and deserve the world and I felt so useless. I couldn’t do anything to help you.” As you finish your confession, you could feel new tears streaming down your face. You weren’t full on sobbing, but getting this overwhelming feeling off your chest allowed you to breathe a little easier. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way? We’ve talked plenty since the game?” Joe askd, not trying to berate you for not telling him, just genuinely concerned as to why you had been bottling all these big feelings up. 

“I just didn’t want to feel like a burden to you, Joey. You had enough you were and are going through. I was just worried about you.”

“Yeah, but I worry about you when you don’t talk to me, bug. I don’t want you bottling things up so much that you’re feeling so overwhelmed. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty for not being there. All your texts, calls, and FaceTimes have been my saving grace,” he pauses, pulled back from your grasp and reached up to grab your cheeks so you are forced to look into his eyes. 

With a serious look on his face he says, “You are not a burden and you are not useless. Okay?” he pauses and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, awaiting a response. You slightly nod and he continues. “I love you. Even if you weren’t physically at the game, I knew you were still there. Because you are always right here,” he says as he places your hand over his heart. 

You look down at where he has placed your hand, take a deep breath, then look back up at him as he continues, “I wish you were physically there to hug after, but you were back here being the little smarty pants you are, studying away,” he said with a small smile as you slightly giggled at his wording. “And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Next year, when you don’t have responsibilities to school, you’ll probably be sick of dealing with me after games. I can be quite the pain in the ass.” 

You smile at his words and respond, “Yeah, but you’ll be my pain in the ass.”

“Absolutely,” he responds, happy to be seeing the light come back into your eyes. 

He pulls you back into a hug, closing his eyes and smiling as he rests his head on yours. 

“You know what always makes me feel better when I’m feeling overwhelmed?”

“What’s that, bub?” you ask curiously, having no idea where he could be going with that. 

“Watching spongebob.” 

“Of course,” you say with a giggle. “You are such a kid.”

“Maybe, but you love it, bug,” he responds before he reaches down and gives you a big, slobbery kiss on the cheek. 

“Ewww!” you laugh as you push him off of you. “Go pull up an episode and I’ll go get some snacks… and maybe disinfect my cheek, Christ.”

--

--

a/n: ahhhhhh my first joe burrow one shot??? born and raised a bengals fan so joey becoming our quarterback has made me go insane... obviously ... let me know what you all think! 

i also did NOT proof read this and i wrote it in like 20 mins so… hope it’s fine??

[writtenbymkl]

[13:14 pm]

word count: 1,085

a/n: i came up with a new word, haechanitis, and i think i have it. i’m severely into this dude… like i know mark is my man but haechan … it was the concert that did it for me, if you guys had seen the pictures i got and the amount of times he looked at my camera, you would understand me （◞‸◟） not proofread btw !

̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊

“so, how’s it going with your little crush on haechan?” your friend asks as she scrolls through her phone.

“dude, it’s not a crush,” you say as you push her shoulder. “i don’t even talk to him.”

you’ve learned a lot from observing him, not to be creepy but every time your head turned to look at him, he was always doing something new. like when his friend jaemin is feeding him, he shakes his head when he opens his mouth. or when his other friend renjun, shoves him away whenever he gets too close to him.

you could honestly go on about haechan but you prefer to keep it to yourself. he’s way too out of your league and you’re too introverted to ever find the confidence in going up to him. unlike him who seems to strike up a conversation with whoever he comes across.

your friend notices that you’re lost in thoughts when she asks, “should i invite him over? i mean, he is my partner for this project we’re working on.” your eyes widen and you feel panic strike as your heart rate goes up.

“no! i will kill you and then myself,” you threaten while holding both her hands down, which in fact were about to wave him over. unfortunately for you, she still has her mouth.

“hey haechan!” you shut your eyes so hard and you feel your heart about to explode because you know he’s gonna walk over any second. he can’t resist talking to anyone who calls his name, that’s how he is.

“i’m leaving,” you state as you let go of her hands and rapidly grab your stuff, shoving just about anything into your backpack. you need to leave before he steps foot in your space.

“y/n, you cannot be serious…” she trails off as she watches you put your backpack on. all you can do is huff in frustration.

“i’m 100% serious. you know i can’t be in the same vicinity as haech-“ you’re cut off by the legend himself.

“woah, what did i do?” haechan questions with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you look at your friend and all she can do is offer you a sorry smile. you’re gonna do what you do best, which is to disappear any time something embarrassing happens because right now, you want the ground to swallow you whole.

“i gotta go, i’ll see you some other time, bye!” you exclaim to your friend as you speed walk out of the scene. you don’t turn your back once to see their reactions, all you know is that you have to get out there before you have to see haechan’s face up close for longer than five seconds.

“fuck, that was close,” you whisper to yourself as you lean against the wall outside. you had finally calmed down a bit since you were nowhere near him.

“what was close?” you let out a loud yelp as you turn around to see haechan standing behind you. well now you were definitely fucked. you must’ve killed a god in your past life because why was this happening to you?

“jesus, you scared me! what’s wrong with you?!” you exclaimed as you held a hand to your chest. you probably look like that spongebob meme right now. haechan just stares at you in amusement while crossing his arms.

“what’s wrong with me? what’s wrong with you?” he asks while nodding his head in your direction.

“i don’t know why you followed me, but i’m leaving. bye.” you say as you turn your back to him. you don’t mean to be an asshole but since you’ve never spoken a word to him, this is all that can come out.

his hand grabs ahold of your wrist before you can even walk two steps. “tch,” he tuts. “where do you think you’re going, y/n?” your eyes widen because how does he know your name. but then you relax as you realize your friend probably told him after you ran off.

“i’m going to study, now if you could let go of my wrist, that would be amazing,” you smile at him and watch as he lets go of your wrist before letting out a small ‘sorry’.

“i just wanted to know,” he starts while holding a finger under his chin showing his thinking face. “why you can’t be in the same vicinity as me, as you said.” he finishes while looking at you. you can’t look him in the eyes because if you do, you’ll confess right then and there. but then again, you’ve always been blunt since your middle school days.

“because i like you,” you state bluntly. haechan looks taken aback not expecting a straight and honest answer from you considering you were running away a few minutes ago. “now can i go? you don’t really know me so it doesn’t matter.”

“w-well-“ he stutters, still in shock from your confession. who would’ve thought you’d be the one to gag him. you sigh and stare at the ground bored. it’s not like you’re not used to rejection, you’re just tired of them wasting your time doing it.

“i’m gonna go now…” you trail off, taking steps backwards and pointing behind you. haechan, still in a slightly frozen state, nods but quickly shakes off the dazed state.

“wait, can i get your number?” he asks while quickly pulling out his phone, hands slightly shaking. you must be hallucinating at this point because there was no way lee haechan was asking for your number.

“mine? why?” you quickly ask. he shoves his phone in your hands and smiles encouraging you to type your information in.

“so we can get to know each other, duh,” he says while playfully rolling his eyes. now you’re the one in shock, he just pulled an uno reverse on you. you type in your contact name and phone number knowing there’s no way to get out of this.

“i might not know you at all or like you, but i’m sure i won’t have a hard time falling for you.” he says while giving a loving smile.

̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊