#spy crack

[strawlessandbraless]

*shouting and shaking fist at the sky* what have I done

[buf309-art-binder]

other fans: ...

@loid-eye-club: our blorbo has such beautiful eyes 😊 maybe he should lose one of them 😘 as a treat 😊❤️

[crabonfire]

☆ Would merc still like you if merasmus turned you into a worm 🪱 ☆

characters: all mercs

tags: crack but not really I'm taking it kinda seriously, reader has a platonic relationship with the mercs

note: maybe someone's done this before idk I felt compelled to write something tf2 related and this is lowkey all I fucking got lmao

Also this is ridiculously long for a fic that was supposed to be crack so my bad (this was longer actually, but I cut out a bunch of yapping)

●○●○●

• I feel like Scout's first reaction instead of panicking is to curse and threaten Merasmus.

"OUT OF EVERY SHITTY THING YOU COULD'VE DONE, YOU TURNED THEM INTO A FRIGGIN' WORM?!"

• He's yelling, so much to the point where Merasmus just teleports away and ignores it, finding it funny (of course he finds it funny what a dick)

• He realizes that when he was so busy yelling at Merasmus, he had lost you. He panicked, looking around the ground with a horrified frown, cursing to himself as he started to dig, looking closely. When he finally found you, he placed you on his hand with a frown, looking at how you moved against his fingertips. He wanted to cry a little, he really didn't know what to do.

• He's placing you under his hat. Usually he'd find worms or maggots gross as hell, and if he was going to be honest he still found you gross, but it was you, so...

• Then he rushes back to base, the panicked look on his face never leaving him. He alerts all the other mercs, making a huge fuss over how, you're a worm now, and they need to help him get back at merasmus to turn him back.

He's holding you in his palm, and you're just wiggling around like nothing is wrong cause you're a worm now. And the rest of the mercs look at him like he's crazy.

• Spy, Sniper, Medic, and Heavy are convinced he's lying. Demo believes him a little since he's experienced Merasmus' antics. Soldier automatically believes him fully since the worms there, but you're not, so that must be you. Engineer is just trying to keep the peace, trying to calm scout down, but it doesn't work as no one is listening to him.

• The team is skeptical, thinking that this is some elaborate prank and that, you're just out for a couple hours. But when you don't return tomorrow for the fight, or return after, that raises some suspicions on where you are.

• Ms. Pauling doesn't know where you are either. So is it true? Are you really the worm?

• A meeting is held, everyone stands around the rounded table, the light shining down on you. You're in your little wormy home, slithering and worming your way through life, forgetting your identity, eating leaves and sleeping in dirt.

The mercs watch as you're doing your worm thing.

Engineer clears his throat, making the attention go to him. He turns to Scout, and the confusion in his voice is evident as he speaks.

"Scout, you're absolutely positive that, this worm is (y/n)?"

Scout responds with an aggresive nod, the slight panic and frustration shown in his expression.

"I told you, its them! I saw it happen with my own two eyes, Merasmus found em, they got zapped and poof- they're a worm! A freakin' worm!"

• The team continues to look at you, so peaceful, so calm, being a worm. They don't know why, but, now it was much easier to believe him. The worm was just like you, chill and...cool...and awesome...and wow... amazing..

"So...what? They're just a worm now?"

Sniper said, picking up the jar you were in, looking at you curiously.

"I don't think they'll be too happy stuck like that."

Engineer spoke once again, "If they got turned into a worm, there's...probably a way to turn em' back, right?"

• That was enough to bring hope to Scout's mind. Of course! That was it, if he could find Merasmus and maybe force convince him to turn you back, everything would be okay! All his sadness had dissipated, and he was quick to start making plans.

• So they did, the team would go hunting for Merasmus, and make him turn you back. In the meantime, they'd take turns taking care of you.

• Scout liked to hang out with you, pretending like it was just like before, where you and him would sip sodas together and talk about anything and everything. He'd pour some soda in the dirt you were in, not really caring of the consequences and thinking everything was the same with you two. He really missed having someone to talk to, though.

"Man, I hope you can hear me. It'll be like, super fuckin' weird if I've been talking to you and you're not even in there.."

• Pyro wouldn't really see a difference. That sounds mean, but its really nothing personal. Though now that you were a worm, you weren't as scared as them as you usually were. They'd sit you down, with their plushies, having a nice tea party, watching carefully as you'd just slither about as a worm.

• Soldier was...confused. You, who once was a brave and selfless fighter, was now a worm. It fascinated him and scared him at the same time. He'd get awkward around you, wondering if you remembered him. He'd talk to you mostly, sometimes petting you...He'd try to.

"EVEN IF YOU'RE A WORM, YOU'RE STILL STRONG TO ME!"

"...You're still in there aren't you?"

• Demo wouldn't really know what to do with you either. He finds it kinda funny how you got turned into a worm. Unlike Scout or Soldier, he doesn't really panic, knowing you'll probably be fine, worm or not. He does miss having you to talk to, like scout. Sometimes he'd just be in the living room, and you'd be by the table in your little jar. He'd just watch curiously, but wouldn't really do anything.

• Same thing goes for Sniper. He legit doesn't really know what to do or say. But, he is a little afraid that you won't turn back into a person. Unlike Scout, he found that you weren't 100% obnoxious or annoying, someone to have chill conversations with after battle. He'd keep watch over you, letting you sit with him as he's chilling on top of his van. Sometimes he'd even bring you out with him in battles as he's camping out enemies during fights. He always makes sure you're safe, though.

• Heavy really liked you. He found you someone worth talking to, and a solid member of the team, so it was a bit jarring to see you turned into a worm. He'd keep his hopes up, though, talking to you like normal. Sometimes he'd watch you like Demo did, curious about you and your little world. It was weirdly calming, after battles he'd be worn out, and when he'd see you worming your way through leaves and dirt, it relieved him a little.

• Engie was a little off put by it, the same way soldier felt. You're just...a worm now? Huh. He doesn't really know what to say to that. Medic and him share the same thought, and that thought is, are you concious? Are you aware that you're a worm? Or are you mindless?

They can't help but think of it that way, in a practical sense. Medic would have to hide you from archimedes and the rest of his doves, who would love to eat you at any given chance.

Sometimes they'd do tests on you. Nothing painful or dramatic but, tests to see if you're still in there. They're really overthinking it.

Engie likes having you in his workshop late at night, makes him feel less alone when you're just worming. Medic keeps you at a distance, just to make sure he doesn't lose you or, have one of his doves eat you.

• Spy, is, kind of grossed out. Nobody has a close relationship with him. He did have a lot of respect for you, both on and off the battlefield. You were just a decent human being who he found a liking to, now you're...a worm. A gross, slimy worm.

He never let you into his smoking room, actually he never even let you out of your jar. He liked you, respected you, but liked you more as a person.

He feels pity, honestly, and just wants you to either be out of his way, or back to normal.

• When you do eventually turn back into a worm, they're all pretty glad. They all have questions, ranging from "Were you really in there? Like were you- aware?" And then "Was it nice being a worm?"

I'm sure you can tell who's asking which question and such.

○●○●○

this what comic 7 leak does to a person

[noafencee]

henry in st 5 when he tries to communicate smth to the hive mind but will can literally hear everything

[homkamiro]

wo ..,, zz.. 2@3’ wkmne women

Indeed, sister. Women

[tf2-crack-ideas]

Medic knew spy was scouts dad for the longest

Not because of the similarities either, just because hes done a dna test for the fun of it not thinking much

He later asked spy and was asked not to tell, which he didnt, but he WOULD make comments about it while making sure it wasnt too obvious, spy wanted to punch him every time too

(Hes partly the reason others noticed the similarities at first too)

[backgroundagent3]

Later that day...

[cheebuss]

Low quality compile of all my designs for the Support Classes of my silly TF2/Warrior Cats crossover hehe (i fucked up with RED Sniper because I did him first and didn't think i'd do everyone else so him and BLU Sniper are facing away on the line up lol)

[kitonmitons]

he’s teaching them how to sneak

[sukuna-dees-nuts]

rizzless sukuna pt 5

lowkey this is almost feels like crack at this point 😭

idk what im doing. im just going with the vibes i started with when writing this series lmaoo

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

---

It's a beautiful Saturday morning; the sun is bright, the birds are chirping, and Yuuji is currently setting up the gaming console as Nobara and Megumi make themselves comfortable on the couch. His parents are out running errands together and Sukuna is… actually, Yuuji doesn't know and currently isn't concerned with his brother's whereabouts because it means that Yuuji and his friends get the house to themselves for the time being.

Nobara kicks off her shoes and plops down in the middle of the couch, resting her feet on the coffee table. Megumi drops next to her, pulling out his phone as he looks around. He glances back to Yuuji as he asks, “Is Sukuna not here?”

“Who cares?” Nobara replies, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Uhh, I don't know,” Yuuji says over his shoulder with a shrug as he gets to his feet. He makes his way back to the couch, tosses a controller to Megumi's lap, and hands another to Nobara. Taking a seat next to her, he sighs, “Probably vandalizing old buildings or something.

Nobara snorts. “Egging houses,” she adds.

“Surely he's done that before,” Yuuji comments as he picks his character and kart.

It’s no surprise that Yuuji and Nobara battle for first place in every race. Both are extremely competitive and weirdly good at this game. Megumi, however, almost always finishes in dead last. He doesn’t care; he never has and probably never will.

“Hey, Megumi, do you ever not come in last place?” Nobara asks with a shit-eating grin, pulling her eyes away from the screen and over to her friend. His brows are pulled together, and there’s a deep frown on his face as he falls off the edge of the map again.

“Do you ever shut up?” he grunts.

Yuuji cackles. “Don’t you play with Gojo?”

“Not because I want to,” Megumi sighs, dropping the controller when he finally finishes the race.

“Well, I guess someone has to give him enrichment time,” Nobara hums and crosses one leg over the other.

The front door opens, and Sukuna steps inside the house. He wipes his face with the hem of his shirt as he walks into the living room. Of course, the last thing he expects to see is Megumi sitting on his couch.

Their eyes meet, and Sukuna feels his heart skip a beat.

Instantly, Megumi’s eyes flicker from Sukuna’s face to his exposed abdomen and back up again. It’s only a split second later that he looks away, awkwardly scratching his cheek as he looks down at the controller in his hands.

“What are you losers doing?” Sukuna asks as he steps into the living room.

“We were having a good time,” Yuuji states without looking away from the screen. His character throws a red shell, hitting Nobara’s kart and allowing him to take first place. “Yes! Take that, Kugisaki!”

“This is why girls don’t like you!” Nobara shouts, shoving Yuuji hard enough that he falls off the couch.

The boy lands on the ground with an oof! but it doesn’t stop his focus from the race.

Sukuna watches the scene play out with his top lip curling in annoyance. As he rolls his eyes, he takes a seat on the arm of the couch next to Megumi. He can’t help but notice that the boy is in last place and after spinning out, immediately drives into a banana peel that he could have easily avoided. Sukuna snorts in amusement.

“Dude, you’re shit at this game,” he says, nudging Megumi’s shoulder with his elbow.

Megumi huffs, opening his mouth to reply, but his words are cut short temporarily as Nobara tries to kick Yuuji’s controller out of his hands. She cackles when she’s successful, only for Yuuji to grab her ankle and pull her down onto the floor with him.

Turning to look up at Sukuna, Megumi states with a deadpan expression, “This is why I don’t play.”

Raising an eyebrow, Sukuna looks over at Yuuji and Nobara who are simultaneously trying to race and knock away each other’s controllers. A grin spreads across Sukuna’s face and without thinking, he reaches down and grabs the controller from Megumi’s hands, their fingers brushing. Sukuna’s gaze briefly meets the other boy’s before he’s turning back to the TV.

With Yuuji and Nobara distracted trying to sabotage each other, it doesn’t take much for Sukuna to quickly catch up to the front, but not without adding a couple teasing jabs to Megumi’s poor choice of character and kart.

“Why on earth would you pick Baby Rosalina and the Badwagon?” he asks with an amused snort.

The younger boy shrugs. “I just hit the randomize button. I don’t care that much.”

“Obviously,” Sukuna retorts. He shoots Megumi a teasing grin.

Megumi rolls his eyes. “The only other time that I play this game is when Gojo forces me and Tsumiki to play with him."

Sukuna grimaces. “Sounds awful.”

“It’s not that bad. Gojo is just a sore loser so Tsumiki usually lets him win so we’re not stuck there all night.”

With a hum of acknowledgement, Sukuna briefly wonders if Megumi would be down to play with him, just the two of them. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea. The only thing would be convincing Yuuji to let him borrow the switch or getting Yuuji out of the house long enough for Megumi to even come over. Well, he supposes that’s something they can figure out after they’ve had their movie date.

“Yes! First place! As I should be!” Nobara exclaims as she finally finishes the race with Yuuji on her tail with a close second.

Yuuji scoffs. “Only because you knocked the controller out of my hand and made me fall off the side of the map.”

Rolling her eyes, Nobara waves a hand dismissively. She leans back against the couch and stretches her arms above her head. “You’re just a sore loser.” Her eyes flicker back to the screen and she sits up straighter. “Megumi coming in 4th place?! And here I thought you just liked losing."

“Whoa, how’d you get so good so fast?!” Yuuji asks with a laugh. He looks over, his head tilting to the side when he sees that there is no controller in Megumi’s hands. That’s when he notices that his brother never left and is instead sitting on the arm of the couch with the controller in his hands. “Hey! That’s cheating too!”

Nobara looks over with a frown as Sukuna is handing the controller back to Megumi. He pushes himself to his feet, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check his notifications.

“Thanks, Sukuna,” Megumi says, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

Without thinking, Sukuna clicks his tongue and shoots Megumi a wink. “Any time.” He doesn’t bother sparing a glance to Yuuji as he turns around and heads out of the living room and up the stairs to his bedroom.

A long silence draws out in the living room, both Nobara and Yuuji staring at Megumi in a mixture of shock and confusion as Megumi watches Sukuna go. When he turns back to his friends, he shifts in his seat, growing a little uncomfortable. “What?”

“What was that?” Nobara asks, the game now forgotten with her full attention on Megumi.

“What was what?”

“That!” She gestures vaguely in Megumi’s direction. “With you and Sukuna. He was… nice to you.”

“So?” the other boy cocks an eyebrow. He leans forward and places the controller on the coffee table before sitting back. “Is Sukuna not allowed to be nice to people?”

“No,” both Nobara and Yuuji say simultaneously in the same deadpan tone.

Yuuji pushes himself up to his feet, setting his own controller on the coffee table. He turns to Megumi, hands settling on his hips. “He’s not even that nice to me and I’m his brother."

Megumi shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe he felt bad for me because you two were being insufferable.”

“Sukuna doesn’t feel bad for people,” Yuuji says with a shake of his head. “He’s the one who makes people feel bad.”

Again, Megumi shrugs. “He’s always been nice to me.” He gets to his feet and excuses himself to the bathroom.

Nobara and Yuuji watch as he leaves. The moment they hear the bathroom door shut, they’re both sitting on the couch and facing each other with wide eyes, ready to conspire.

“There’s something weird going on here,” Nobara whispers, tapping her chin with her finger.

“You’re telling me. The other day, Sukuna was making plans to invite someone over when I wasn’t here.” He pauses, looking around to make sure that they’re alone. He leans in a little closer, cupping one hand around the side of his mouth. “And even worse, there’s someone with a nickname in his phone.”

Nobara’s eyebrows shoot up, her eyes widening. “A nickname? What kind of nickname?"

“It said ‘Raisin Boy’.”

“What the hell does that mean?” she asks, her eyebrows instantly pulling together in confusion.

Yuuji shrugs and leans back. “I dunno.”

A look of determination settles over Nobara’s face. “Well whatever it is, we're getting to the bottom of it!”

Yuuji grins, matching Nobara’s determination with a high five. "Operation: 'Find out who Raisin Boy is' is now underway."

[piracytheorist]

Spy x Family Episode 26: Bum Hurty (Crack Recap)

MY FAKE FAMILY IS BACK AND I MAKE CRACK RECAP TO CELEBRATE!

Will I do all the inbetween episodes I skipped? Maybe! Who knows! Not me!

Also. It's Long. Again.

other crack recaps

[strawlessandbraless]

lol, ya… (just noticed how they’re boardered by blue and green 💙 💚)

[tare-anime]

The complete picture of (Badass) Butler Family

So Jeeves is Matthew and Martha's son

Yeah, let me have my delulu......🤣🤣🤣

I mean, look at how agile Jeeves is (throwing a rock to stun snake? Using a stick to flick spider) worthy of a Garden protege, and also so very wise (a.k.a Martha's kind of wise) 🤌🤌

[the-mxster]

“Well obviously Spy is in the tooth.”

“No, no it’s gotta be Saxon.”

“You’re both wrong, it’s clearly Missy.”

WRONG, ITS ALL OF THEM. NOT JUST THOSE THREE, EVERY SINGLE MASTER INCARNATION. TOYMAKER WAS IN HIS POKÉMON ERA AND CAUGHT THEM ALL.

[crybabycunt]

(crowded street)

Kate: (in shock) I killed someone! I killed someone!

Yelena: Stop screaming that!

Yelena: (breaks a car window) Here. Get in the car.

Kate: But that’s not our car!

Yelena: Oh my god! Get in, Kate!

[parisoonic]

i really wish we got the tf2 tv show because i think, about your talk about how pyro ends up being a foil to the other characters, pyro is such a wildcard of a character that if you need someone for an episode to complete a dynamic it's pyro. he's designated driver. he's the mcdonalds employee. he's scout's ma. she's helping miss p dismember bodies. it's coming in through the dog door

your ask got me thinking about how i'd use pyro in a show and IDK if anyone else has seen Solar Opposites but how they split the Pupa's screentime between A + B plots in the first/second season would be spot on the money for me. Pyro could be there, in the A plot, in small ways (like you said, at the back of the bus or en rotue to the episodes mission) but then gets sucked into a 'mundane' B plot for some tonal levity within the episode. Pyro's gotta run that FTSE 500 company! They've gotta seduce the Ballicorn comic writer in order to read the never-published final issue! They've gotta earn an Astrophysics PHD in order to steal their Professor's Pokemon topped pen....that sort of thing. And then occassionaly they can show up with the deus-ex-mechina for the episode with the rest of the team being none the wiser (other than vaguely baffled as their flamethrower could've REALLY come in handy fighting those haunted scarecrows).