#still not sure about the amount of tails that tails should have. i think it’s be a shame of a name if he only had two at the end of his life

[d0d0-b0i]

older designs because why not :O

[sh1-n0bu]

♡︎ 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙖 ♡︎

characters: priest!sub!blade x demon lord!nb!dom!reader

warnings: breeding, creampie, eating out, fingering, squirting, monsterfucking, consensual non-con, dirty talk, feminization (like literally), lactating, nipple stimulation, overstimulation, dacryphilia, size kink, belly bulge, cervix kissing, blade is a demon hunting priest, reader is a demon lord so they can choose whether to have a cock or pussy so basically genderfluid reader???? also reader changes blade’s anatomy to have a pussy and womb — it’s so messy okay😭😭

word count: 4.4K

notes: you KNOW shit is getting real when nobu starts word count. never thought i would be writing a bit of a dark-ish content yet here we are. the power of the horny😔 also inspired by my chat with one of ririshizu’s bots

special thank you to @theblades and @yenaakwyl for proofreading a whole damn 14 pages of filth

being a priest is no laughing matter. especially when you’re the type of priest that hunts and gets rid of demons who somehow ended up with a demon lord clinging to you, who’s constantly at your side, asking you questions about the human realm.

what was up with you, anyways? a literal demon lord, one of the lords of a deadly sin and yet here you were, dragging him around the streets, pointing at random things, wanting to sample every street food there were. sure, your human form was incredibly deceiving. a short, sweet human, clinging to his arm, excitedly pointing at the many different things that caught your attention. it would be hard for anyone to think of you as a demon lord in disguise.

except for blade. he’s been in this field of work for such a long time. constantly vanquishing demons who either were too annoying or possessed a poor, curious soul. the sharp edge of his shard sword is no laughing matter.

but you didn’t seem to mind. this demon lord, acting like a curious puppy, pulling him to each sides of the streets — ignoring the loud angry shouts of the car drivers and the constantly thinning of his wallet of course. not that blade had much to worry when it came to financial freedom. putting his life on the line and vanquishing demons from the human realm pays a generous amount.

it felt wrong to allow you to cling to him. you, a demon lord, no matter what your disguises meant or whatever pathetic excuse you came up with of wanting to sample human food. he should have gotten rid of you sooner yet no matter how much his hands twitch to unsheathe his shard sword, he just can’t seem to do it. no matter what his threats may seem or be heard of, the priest just can’t bring himself to harm you. if anything, he finds himself doing the absolute opposite, to his blatant horror.

“wait, no, don’t do that. the water just boiled so it’s hot, it could burn your tongue”

“you do realize that ice isn’t meant to be eaten, right? no, i don’t care how much of a pretty shape it’s in or if it still has the aftertaste of the coffee”

“if you eat too much raw red pepper, you could have a heart stroke. 14 is enough on one sitting. give it here”

yes, you get the point. a priest vanquishing demon, living together with a demon lord and even protecting them. hypocritical, right?

one night, as you two were cuddling on the couch and absentmindedly watching cliche horror movies that has demons with red skin and horns and a tail, that reminded something to blade. demons have unique demon forms depending on their sins and ‘birth’. but you never once showed an ounce of your demon form. not even a single slip-up.

“hmm? why do you ask? curious?” you hum softly, taking another fistful of the popcorn in the bowl. not that blade minded. if anything, he unconsciously pushed the bowl of popcorn closer to you.

“i guess so. you never even spoke of your demon form whether it has a tail or not” the priest mumbles, his husky voice turning softer just for a moment. or maybe he was just sleepy, judging by his dark eye-bags and little yawns.

oh right, you never did. but then again, blade never asked of your demon form before so, it’s to be expected after all.

just as blade had shrugged off your silence and turned his attention back to the tv, he felt something slithering around his waist. swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, he briefly looks down at what was wrapping around his waist. there, snug around his hips was a long, pale white, scaled, snake-like tail. it seemed incredibly long, judging by how it easily wrapped around his hips few times and the rest was just dangling off of the side of the couch.

was this…?

he could feel his hand twitch. itching, something under his skin itching of wanting to reach down and run his hand over the smooth looking scales of the tail.

pat! pat pat!

before blade could even make sense of what the fuck he just did, his hand had unconsciously unraveled from it’s former crossed position. one hand going down, flattening his palm over the smooth, large tail before giving it a few pats. at the same time, he could hear another low pat pat! sounds coming from the side of the couch. must be your tail ends flicking and hitting against the couch, he deducted.

briefly, blade steals a glance at your face. still watching the movie on the TV, seemingly paying no mind to the feeling of his human hand resting over your tail. it was oddly warm to the touch. from the look of it resembling a snake like tail, he expected it to be cold.

slowly, he runs his hand over the scales. soft, smooth and easily gliding over them as if it was nothing. sure, some bumps are felt on the palm of his hand but other than the occasional little ridges, it was completely smooth. how… soothing.

blade doesn’t know how or when but over the course of time you spent at his apartment, these little moments of playing with your tail had become a normal occurrence. little moments of “affection” if you will. fridays had become the weekly movie nights. blade would put on some random horror movie that you chose to be the most interesting based on the summary of the movie. half an hour or so into the movie and blade would feel the familiar scales of your tail wrap around his hips.

the priest would sometimes toy with your tail in hopes of getting you to show your true color of being a demon lord. to make you angry. to make you snap and finally show your true colors. if anything, it had the complete opposite effect as your tail only tightened around him. low, deep rumbling sounds akin to a purr coming from the depths of your chest.

briefly, the priest would catch himself wondering how it would feel to lay his head on your chest as you purr. cats have de-stressing and soothing qualities to their purrs. would demons be the same? sometimes, he would even catch himself thinking of… sacrilegious things. like how your tail would feel wrapped around his legs, opening him up for you. how your form could shapeshift and could have a human male’s anatomy. would you purposefully make it big? would you force it past his twitching rim, uncaring of his whines and pleads to wait?

ah, but that sounded so unlike you. despite being a demon lord, you have been nothing but calm and peaceful with blade. soft hums, nods of agreement, always needing his help and inquiring him of his thoughts on something.

then, would you coax him? whispering soft reassurances in the shell of his ear as you softly push your cock inch by inch inside him. a large, clawed, inhuman hand running over his stomach, talking about all sorts of things, promising to breed him full of your seeds as he cries. opening his legs wide with your tail wrapped around his thighs, wiping away his tears as he cries so prettily?

“f-fuck…” unknowingly, blade found himself with a little problem. another movie night, another time spent together ‘cuddling’. yet due to his own thoughts, blade finds himself embarrassingly hard. shit, he needed to find a way to leave the room and take care of his problem. but your tail way starting to curl around him in loops, just like how a snake would wrap itself around it’s prey.

did you know? know of his raging hard on and was just teasing him now? no. taking a brief glance at your face caused blade to come to a conclusion that you didn’t know. yet. that was the biggest part. or maybe you did considering just how your tail was moving around his waist. slipping under the hem of his shirt, slipping up, curling around his body under his shirt. scale coming in contact with skin. blade almost let out a moan at the feeling if it weren’t for him biting down on his lips.

“[n-name], get your tail off. i need to use the bathroom” internally cursing himself out for stuttering, blade can only hope that you would oblige. gods, just the way you let out a soft “hmm?” while playing innocent, smiling at him and blinking like nothing happened while your tail curls around his skin.

fuck, he was done for. you knew. you fucking knew.

“are you sure? your body seems to react positively from the amount of human interaction that i’ve had until now, blade” the end of your tail circles around his peck. slowly trailing the end as if you were going to squeeze—

“n-ngaah?!” a surprised noise comes from the priest’s mouth before he clenches his jaws shut, brows furrowing together as he tries to ignore the feeling on his chest. soft and slow circles. the end of your tail was wrapped around his nipple, pulling and rolling it between as if it was nothing. shit, when did his chest get so sensitive?

“oh that was a cute sound. do it again” you hum, turning away from the TV and looking at him now. curse you for looking so damn interested and curious as your tail fondles his nubs. blade can feel his pants starting to form a wet patch as his breathing becomes more labored.

“t-take… your goddamn tail off. i swear, i’ll ghh—! chop it into pieces…!” despite his best efforts, his words had no bite. just weak mumblings of a pathetic excuse of a priest being turned on as a literal demon lord tugs at his nipple. he was even starting to quietly whine in place as he tries to swallow down his moans.

“say, blade. i read from somewhere that human chest can lactate when stimulated enough. can you lactate?” blade almost shrieked at your words. lactating? him? while it was true that human women can lactate if they gave birth, he was unsure about men being able to lactate.

“n-no! can’t! i’m a man, it’s impossible for my chest to produce mi—ungh!” his words die quickly in his throat when your tail clenched around his nipple tightly. pulling on it, familiar to a pinching motion. since when did his body get so sensitive like this? or was this all your doing? did you secretly put a spell on him to make him sensitive?

“stop..! [n-name] stop ooungh! please, stop! i’m telling you, i’m a man. i can’t lactate like a woman!” his pleads fall on deaf ears as you slip his shirt off over his head. instead this time, using your hands to knead and fondle his pecks. squeezing, rolling his sensitive nubs between your fingers, even tugging on them. it all got blade letting out uncharacteristic high pitched noises like a cat in heat.

“p-please… stop this, [name]..” blade trails off, red in the face, shame, embarrassment and arousal swirling in his stomach like a hot bubbling lava as he admits defeat and whines helplessly.

“then wriggle yourself out of my tail. it’s loose around you, bladie” you briefly retort as you suckle on his nipple. mouth latched to his chest, biting and planting wet kisses all around his soft pink areola. as weak as his whimpers and pathetic his begging were, he really wasn’t making a single attempt to pull back. you have given him enough chances even now as your tail stays loose around him. yet he still tries to act like he hates it.

switching between giving attention to his two nipples with blade not even thinking of pulling himself out of your tail, the movie plays in the background, long forgotten. you were determined to make this weird human of yours lactate. you can make him!

it didn’t took much longer until blade let out a yelp as a warm liquid drops in your mouth. the taste oddly sweet and a bit thick in texture. realizing that his chest was feeling much more heavier and nipples felt more wetter than before, the priest’s eyes widen in horror and arousal. did you really managed to stimulate him enough to make him lactate?

“oh? so, i was right! humans can lactate regardless of their gender” you let out a soft giggle, internally cheering as a bright smile comes across your face. the sheer amount of exuberance you showed in his lactation had caused blade to feebly attempt to cover his chest.

“don’t! don’t look… it’s embarrassing…” the man whines, shaking hands covering up his leaking nubs. but that proves to be futile as his hands covering his chest had caused him to twitch. everything felt so much and so little at the same time. his poor cock was neglected and weeping, staining his pants as you stimulate his nipples as he whines.

this wasn’t supposed to happen! he wasn’t supposed to be this sensitive to your touches.

but the leaking of his milk had seemed to cause something to stir in your chest. an odd sense of possessiveness and need to claim him growing in your heart, tugging at it. laying your palm flat against his stomach, you rub slow circles onto it. somehow, it had helped to lessen blade’s embarrassment.

“bladie, how would you feel if i were to make you my baby momma?” your voice cuts him out of the trance like state he was in. blinking his eyes a few times with a weak “huh?” as if he hadn’t heard you. with a quiet chuckle, you ask again. repeating the question to him slowly in case he was too pleasure driven.

baby momma? but that’s something that people refer to when women get pregnant right? were you referring to making him pregnant? but that was impossible! he was a man and men had different anatomy compared to women’s!

“i can use a few spells. you would have a female anatomy. but only if you wish to be my baby momma. i would take good care of you and the kids, we’d be together as a cute family. don’t you think we’d be a cute family, blade?” he could briefly hear you hum. but the rest of your words flew over his head since the female anatomy part.

a female anatomy. blade would have a pussy, a womb, cervix the perfect anatomy to get pregnant. he would be a cute baby momma. your baby momma. and he would carry your kids. a child who was half you and half him, a cute bundle of sunshine.

“please… please do. make me your baby momma. i wanna be your b-baby momma..!” blade nods frantically, not even bothering to think over the consequences too deeply. but the prospect of having your kids, of having you inside him got blade rubbing his thighs together, head spinning with all sorts of thoughts as his breathing becomes labored. you said you would take good care of him and the kids! he’ll be in good hands.

although a part of his brain was screaming at him, telling him to withdraw from the touch of your palm running over his stomach, changing his insides, blade could only sit there dumbly. a baby. a cute baby that you two made together. it would be so sweet, so cute. blade couldn’t wait any longer as he silences the logical part of his brain. all he wanted was you now. just you and nothing else.

the process didn’t take long. a few strokes of your hand and soothing whispers to his ear and it was done. or at least, from what you said. and oh fuck, was it true. when you tugged his pants and boxers off, what greeted both of your eyes was a slick pussy, dripping with arousal. seeing how you had successfully changed him, the priest lets out a weak whine, closing his legs to hide himself.

you didn’t seem to like that. clicking your teeth as your tail wraps around his leg, pulling his legs apart and allowing your hungry eyes to feast on his dripping cunt. blade couldn’t help his whine as the feeling of being so empty took place in his head. or was it inside his womb that he felt so empty?

“so sweet. you would look so cute with my cum dripping out of you” you mutter, running a finger up his wet pussy. the action got his hips twitching, trying to make you push your finger inside himself. tutting softly, reminding him to be patient, you slowly ease a finger in. oh gods, the stretch felt so good. so full and filled already despite it being just a single finger that was now slowly massaging his plush walls.

the soft whines and gasps coming out of blade turns into a moan as he throws his head back on the couch. long, navy hair spreading over the mattress as your fingers scissor him open. you would have expected him to be more… reclusive considering his usual act. perhaps you were wrong. the way that blade was throwing his head back, moaning without shame as his warm walls suck your fingers in greedily caused you to almost mistaken him for a virgin. or maybe he was just touch starved. poor thing.

cooing words of how he was doing good, how his gushy cunt was sucking in your fingers so prettily, you lean down to pepper kisses on his clit. long, forked tongue coming out momentarily to slip inside him with your fingers, constantly flicking his clit. the action caused to have made him oversensitive. strong, scarred thighs coming up to wrap around your head, a hand fisting at your locks as loud, pathetic whines of “c-can’t! feelss sho weird! [n-name], can’t—gyuuck! aanh aah♡︎!!” trails off into a high pitched whines as his hips jerk. legs clamping around your head in a vice grip, fisting at your locks tightly as his back arches off of the couch so prettily as he squirts in your mouth. ah right, in your own haze, you’ve forgotten and accidentally pushed your tongue in too far, hitting his g-spot.

well, that was fine. the cold priest sounded so cute and tasted delicious as he twitches under you. it would be fine to fuck him open with your tongue and prepare him thoroughly.

blade doesn’t know what to think anymore. was he even able to think? all he could do was to moan and shriek, trashing about on the bed as something deep and long slithers inside him. his cunt was being fucked open, wet sounds coming out as he gushes all over your mouth, tongue and chin. fluids dribbling down to your chin as you continue to force his legs open with your tail, arms wrapped around his waist and pulling him back into your mouth and fingers.

by the time you thought of him as prepped enough and pull your tongue and fingers out, blade could only weakly whine at the feeling of something pulling out of his warm insides. legs shaking, face flushed as dried tear stains cover his cheeks. his pretty red eyes looked so hazy, mind filled with cotton and statics. you haven’t even gotten to the main part yet!

blade feels something wrap around him. something bigger, warmer and gentle. clawed hands wrapping around his slender waist, pulling him against a massive frame. was this… was he on your real form right now?

tilting his head back to look at you, his hunch proves to be correct. no longer were you in your small human disguise. large, pale white figure with horns, tail and claw holding him in a safe cocoon in it’s embrace. despite having deep hatred against your kin, the priest couldn’t bring himself to hate you. instead, he oddly found your real form beautiful.

“huh…?” his thought gets cut off short when he feels something poke at his entrance. looking down, a sharp gasp escapes him. by the gods were you huge. girthy and long, thick with need and ready to fill him to the brim with your seeds. blade wasn’t sure if he could take such a large thing inside himself as he instinctively shut his legs close.

almost as if sensing his inner worries, you place a hand over his stomach, other hand spreading his legs wider to make it easier for you to slip in.

“don’t worry, pet. i’ll make sure it fits” your deeper, almost inhuman voice hums right beside his ear, sending shivers down his spine. although your words were soothing, the large tip of your cock pushing past his walls, opening his cunt wider was definitely not comforting. fuck, just the tip inside and blade was already thrashing about, shaking his head and stuttering out how he can’t fit it inside him.

“w-wait! w-won’t hhgh fit! ish too big! too bigtoobigtoobig—! m-my lo—oough! aanh! ish t-too fu-uck! big♡︎♡︎” the human squeals, cries, sobs and moans. loud lecherous noises coming from both his mouth and cunt. wet noises flooding the room alongside the low grunts and deep growls. you sounded inhumane, you felt inhumane but blade loved it all the more. the priest loved being spread open by your large cock, pushing past his hole, feeling his plushy walls and insides. ah, he could die happily filled to the brim like this.

finally, after long minutes of slowly easing yourself inside, you managed to fit your cock inside him. snug to the brim, tip kissing his cervix and making blade squeal. legs shaking and twitching, he came on your cock again at the feeling of your tip kissing his cervix. he saw that you were big but not this big! gods, he felt so damn full.

“so pretty, my mate. so full of me and i haven’t even fucked you properly yet” you grunt, deep, inhumane voice breathing by his ear and making him shake and twitch in your grasp like a sweet fawn. blade wouldn’t mind being a sacrificial lamb to you.

through tear stained eyes and blurry vision, he could make out the faint outline of your cock in his stomach. you were too big to the point your were causing a bulge inside him by just slipping your cock inside. how full would he feel after you have properly made him a baby momma? cunt weeping out a mixture of your cum, belly bulging so cutely. just the imagination of such action made blade buck his hips weakly. too fucked out to even utter a word.

feeling the pathetic excuse of movement of your cock, you let out a low laugh. tail wrapped around one of his legs, the other held open by your hand as you finally bounce him on your cock. slowly, slipping yourself in and out and yet the priest in your hand was sobbing as he blabbers deliriously about being fucked dumb on your cock. of having your babies inside his own womb. of being your sweet mate.

blade was a big guy. in human terms and physique wise, he was big. and yet in your lap, held open by your hands, back to your chest as he allows himself to be dumbed down on your girth made blade realize just how damn small he was compared to you. sure, he was big in human terms but compared to you, he was absolutely nothing. just a small hole for you to use. a fleshlight to be filled with your cum until you were satisfied. your baby momma to have his chest fondled and squeezed until his chest grows sore and heavy. milk leaking out it small globs from his sensitive pink nipples.

“my pet. my cute mate. my sweet other half. my adorable breeding bitch uhng… so fucking tight. so warm and tight like the cute little thing you are” blade could briefly hear you groan, heavy breaths falling on his neck, making him shiver at each breaths. making him cry and moan in a shrill voice like a girl each time your cock slid inside him. plunging deeper into parts he never knew before, grazing that one soft spot that made him shriek, tip hitting his cervix at each thrust. blade was so sure that it was bruised now. not that he minded it, the pain felt good to him.

“y-yours—! yours yours yours! your c-cute ma—aaanhg! aaanh haagh gyaaamf♡︎ y-your mate. your oouungh other half. y-your adorable♡︎ breeding bitch—!” blade’s mouth fell open in a silent scream, head throwing back to your shoulder when he felt your hand press on the bulge in his stomach. it felt good. so good that he immediately squirted on your cock again at the sheer pleasure the pressure brought.

but of course you wouldn’t stop. you would keep going, forcing his small body to bounce on your cock, occasionally tweaking his nipples, rolling his clit between your fingers. you were damn adamant on making him pregnant, breed him until you were damn sure he was knocked up.

he was yours. your human. your mate. your fated other half. your cute breeding bitch and you would be damned all over again if he ends up not getting pregnant by the time you’re done. blade was yours. no one else would ever take him away from you. no one. no one no one no one, no one else—

“AAANGH! M-MY LORD♡︎ c-cock giick! sho full…” the human shrieks and twitches in your grasp, legs weakly thrashing around as you finally cum deep inside him. the warmth of your seed spurting inside his gummy walls, painting his insides white causing blade to cum again. blade felt so full, the skin of his stomach stretching a bit to accommodate to the great amount of cum that was inside him. it felt so warm and sticky. messy, as it dribbles down your shaft, his small human body unfit to keep it all inside himself.

“my cute mate…” you purr softly, arms wrapping around your mate as he twitches and shakes. cheeks stained with old and new tears, jaws slack with drool dribbling down with his face as red as his eyes. he was yours now. blade was your human now. the weird priest was yours and no one would ever take him away from you.

“mine” with that final declaration, you placed a soft kiss to the crown of his head. he seemed to relax at the kiss, sinking against your chest as he black out. that was fine. you’ll make sure to breed him again once he wakes up.

[elsa-fogen]

New reverse designs!

We're reversing today

Rosie, Lute and Vox

Alastor and Charlie are illegally hot for some reason GDGHFSDHFJSD now i HAVE TO make Rosie hot too!!! Also Charlie is the living manifestation of that meme where "i have everything under control (one more minute and i'll fucking snap)". Also she's a fox-like deomn. i mentioned that before but i'll say it again. And yeah she has a tail, to replace her long hair lol

I love Al's design so much HGFHJGSKFKGHDS he SLAAYS in black like DAAMN

Angel (or, well, Anthony) is SO CUTE hsgfgsdhsdfhsdf and Emily is badass. Tho i think i'm still not sure about their designs... gaahhhhfhsfgsf

More sketches under cut!!!!!!

these 4 for now, this is their height. Not gonna give you numbers though. But i think Charlie as tall as canon Alastor, reverse!Alastor is little taller than canon!Charlie and Emily and Anthony have their canon height

IVE JUST GOT AN IDEA FOR EMYLY RN, YALL GONNA CRY not gonna tell it now though (note to self: the game from that book)

emily's casual outfit and for... er... work. The not-Vees are totally selling her bath water 💀💀💀. Also she's flat like a table HJGDSFJKJFFSGDK

Speaking of the Vees (who are Pentious, Cherry and Valentino), should i change names for the first two to match Valentino and let them stay the Vees??

Charlie and Alastor's first meeting.

At this point i just threw characters in blender, mixed them some amount and then split in half the result

Tha Meme

Considering that she made a deal with LUCIFER, the DEVIL from the BIBLE... or maybe it's not the reason?... AND MAYBE SHE DIDN'T??

HA! This one lil bit old (6 days, what an old crap) but still relevant i think

Alastor: did you come here to help or to flirt with our single guest??? Charlie: I can multitask~

[essycogany]

SonAmy Headcanons

Because why not.

This is how I personally see their relationship. I’ll try to keep it somewhat accurate to how they’d act canonically. I’d say where they are now is great, but I’d like to add a few things. Some of these may or may not be influenced by other amazing creators.

You are free to steal if you want.

Sonic and Amy mostly act like a couple in private areas or when they think no one is paying attention. They might tell a few of their friends, but often try to keep things discreet. Even if their overall relationship isn’t different in a third person’s perspective.

Tails: “You two sure you’re not still friends or are you actually together?”

Sonic And Amy: “Yes!”

Sonic’s the most chill and casual boyfriend and shows a good amount of affection. Amy is an overjoyed and loving girlfriend who shows a huge amount of affection.

Amy does her best to not tell most people about her and Sonic. Making an effort to call him her “best friend.” Sonic doesn’t mind it much, even saying it’s “not a big deal.” Leaving Amy confused.

Sonic tells whoever he feels like telling that Amy’s his girlfriend without thinking and thinks it’s funny when she’s shocked about it.

The hedgehogs are unsure of what normal couple standers are. They usually already know what works for them. Except who they should tell.

Sonic shows affection by kissing Amy on the hand and hugging her. When feeling extra, he carries her and takes her out on a run. Amy shows affection by constant cheek kissing, hugging, and ear rubbing. (which he pretends to not enjoy but does.)

Examples:

These and basically everything that happened between them recently are what I have in mind in terms of physical affection.

Instead of kissing they touch each other’s cheeks.

Sonic (being a casual boyfriend) puts his arm around Amy’s shoulder indistinctively in public.

Both hedgehogs forget how they got together. All they remember is it happening.

They enjoy having tea with Cream in order to hang out more. And to spend time with Cream of course.

Amy instantly starts cooking more food after Sonic finishes eating.

Sonic and Amy love gardening and cooking together after defeating Eggman.

Amy admires Sonic’s knowledge about plants, guitars, and books. Sonic admires Amy’s optimistic side whenever she geeks out about silly stuff.

Their brief arguments stems to worrying about one another or what cake tastes better.

Sonic’s favorite times with Amy are when he teases her and she chases after him.

Amy laughs at Sonic’s jokes. Even when they’re not funny.

They both find bungee-jumping romantic and relaxing.

Amy and Sonic plays with each other’s quills when they’re bored.

The best dates are when they’re on dangerous adventures. Sometimes dates aren’t fun when nothing crazy happens. On those days, they go find trouble to be satisfied. But normal dates can be cool if it means they get to travel together.

Amy mostly sends gifts on holidays and Sonic gives gifts when she doesn’t expect it.

Sonic only dresses up when Amy reminds him. Amy doesn’t mind if he forgets because she ends up buying him outfits. She even makes Sonic a red hoodie and he wears it a lot.

When apart for a long time, they write each other letters.

Sonic randomly comes over Amy’s place at any time of day without warning. She acts as if she doesn’t like it, but really enjoys the company of her boyfriend.

On movie nights, Amy and Sonic always forget how long Sonic stays and ends up sleeping on the couch together with one head on top of the other. The same thing happens when they go outside for a “short run,” and end up sleeping outside.

The blue blur’s way of saying “I love you” back to Amy is by using sign language or saying “right back at ya.” He’ll eventually start saying “I love you,” later on. Which surprises Amy to no end when he does it out of nowhere.

The romance Sonic and Amy have isn’t only romance, but an updated version of their friendship. The ability to still be their own people even when in different places. Sonic and Amy are a power couple whose love for adventure strengthens their love for each other. The hedgehogs are equally as happy as when they were close friends. That is what keeps them attached.

That’s a rap! This most likely will never happen, but I don’t mind. Them officially being friends with crushes on each other is stellar and I’m satisfied with it.

[imgoingtofreakoutnow]

we're drunk and in love (but i'd never tell)

Summary: At the Last Light Inn, you and Rolan get to know each other a bit better...

Pairing: Rolan x gn!Tav

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, sexual content (to a certain degree)

Words: 3k

A/N: I had realized I had wrote nothing on Rolan's tail in my previous fics, so I had to fix that. Enjoy <3

Tagging: @tripleyeeet @fictionobsession @elfinbloodbag @adequate-superstar @sapphiccloud (if you don't want to be tagged, or if you want to be added, let me know <3)

\_/

Sitting at a table in a corner of the Last Light Inn, you and the rest of your party have managed to drink an incredible amount of alcohol. The pile of empty mugs and bottles stands perilously on the unsteady wooden table and some of them have even crashed onto the floor, littering it with pieces of broken glass and sticky remains of booze.

Karlach and Gale are somehow still drinking, caught up in a game of their own of which you don’t know the rules but that Astarion seems quite too eager to referee. It’s quite entertaining: the tiefling, barely even tipsy with the biggest mug of ale you’ve ever seen in her hand, and the wizard, muttering something unintelligible in his drunken haze, a bottle of wine tightly held in his grip which, despite his complaints about the cheap taste, keeps meeting his lips every few minutes. Mostly whenever Astarion reminds him that the game is still on, with that mischievous smirk of his cutting his face.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel have quietly opted out from the drinking game, but have instead entered a staring contest filled with insults going from one end to the other and back. Wyll, sitting in front of them, tries to ease the tension as best he can, with no other result than finding himself at the end of some drunken — and not too subtle — threats from the both of them.

Despite the nearby amusement, your eyes keep drifting away from your companions further into the Inn; precisely, to the spot next to the counter where Rolan is leaning against as he chuckles at Cal and Lia’s drunken shenanigans. You can’t help but focus on the crow’s feet appearing around his eyes and the way his features soften everytime he looks at his siblings, hiding his smile behind his pint.

Every once in a while, when his siblings are too busy bickering with each other, Rolan’s gaze also wanders around the room, skimming the clientèle quickly before stopping on you. Everytime he does, your eyes meet as if they’ve been searching for each other all night, lingering for as long as they can before Cal and Lia demand Rolan’s attention back to them, or someone in your group calls for your opinion for whatever silly question has crossed their minds.

“Hey soldier!”

With a quiet sigh, you move your gaze from Rolan’s and turn to Karlach. You immediately notice the smirk on her face — mirroring Astarion’s — as she rests her head on her closed fist. “Fancying someone, aren’t we?”

You roll your eyes and take another sip of your drink as she and the vampire chuckle at your ever so slight embarrassment. “You should really care about your own personal life.”

“I’d truly rather not think about it,” Astarion hums, stealing Gale’s bottle and taking a sip. “Besides… this,” — he says as his fingers move between you and Rolan — “is much more fun.”

“Ch’k. And pathetic.”

Turning to your side, you find Lae’zel staring at you, spine straight as a mountain and arms crossed on her chest. She would look even more intimidating if it weren’t for Shadowheart sleeping on her shoulder.

“If you want him, go and take this ridiculous pining far away from me.”

“Wow. Really?”

“You know I’m nothing short of a romantic,” Wyll starts, kind and sympathetic as ever, although his smile trembles as he continues, “however, I must admit this is quite unbearable to watch.”

“Thanks for your honesty, Wyll.”

“He does have a point,” Karlach nods before smiling and winking at you, “and I’m sure the tiefling would be more than happy to get railed by you ‘til dawn.”

“Yeah, I-” — you pass a hand over your face, your cheeks burning as many filthy thoughts start filling your brain — “I got that, Karlach. Thanks.”

“Oh, don't be so awkward about it,” the barbarian roars as her laughter almost makes the table shake, “you also deserve some good-”

You stand up, way too quickly given how much you’ve drunk until now. Your head swirls for a moment before it settles back down.

“I’m leaving. And you should all get back to camp.” Your eyes move to Gale as he’s sleeping with his cheek squished against the table, his face flushed by all the alcohol. “Especially him. And Astarion, stop giving him the wine.”

The vampire, who had just handed the wizard his bottle back, takes it away once again with a smirk and drinks another sip from it, earning a disgruntled groan from the drunken man next to him.

You sigh, downing what remains of your ale before piling the mug with the others on the table. “Try not to die while I’m gone.”

As you walk off, you hear a loud clapping, accompanied by some whistling. You take a deep breath as you rub your eyes, trying to ignore the attention that your companions cheering has brought down on you. You suddenly remember the poison vile in your bags… mixing the deadly content in Gale's stew has never seemed such a good idea.

“What was that about?”

Stepping closer to the counter, you turn to Lia, her questioning eyebrows raised mostly with amusement than actual curiosity.

“Just a drunken bet,” you lie, leaning on the wooden surface and sliding until your elbow doesn't meet Rolan's. Even if he notices your not too subtle maneuver, he doesn't move away.

“I love bets!”

Cal’s speech is slurred by the alcohol as he speaks. He tries to take a step forward but helplessly stumbles back, leaning against his sister for stability. Lia rolls her eyes and sighs in resignation but doesn't move away.

“What did you bet on?” she asks again, taking a sip of ale.

Despite the drunken haze blurring your mind, you notice her gaze has suddenly sharpened. There's a glint of mischief behind her eyes, as if she's already seen through your true intentions and is simply wanting to tease you about it. You wouldn't put it past her — especially if it were made to get a reaction out of Rolan — and, normally, you would never indulge in her teasing.

Normally.

It's been a while since things have been nothing but abnormal. And there's a way too abnormal amount of ale running through your veins for you to hide the desire you feel for that sarcastic tiefling.

“We were merely wondering if I could manage another kind word from the snarky wizard,” you shrug, turning towards Rolan with a smirk as you lean — ever so slightly — more into him. “After all, I think I've deserved it.”

 The tiefling next to you scoffs, chuckling softly as he takes a sip of his mug before meeting your half-lidded gaze with his own. “I've thanked you once already.” He leans closer, his face stopping a few inches away. “Don't be greedy.”

A teasing smile pulls his lips on that last word, contradicting that last word as the tiefling keeps staring, his eyes darting to your mouth and then back to your gaze, almost daring you to press your mouth against his and savor the lingering taste of alcohol on his tongue. An invitation you’d gladly take on, if Lia’s gaze wasn’t still piercing through your right temple.

“Perhaps,” you utter softly, tapping your fingers on his arm. “I want something different than your gratitude.”

Rolan raises his eyebrows, his pupils widening as he looks at you. Despite the surprise painted in his eyes, his smirk doesn't quiver once.

“The ale makes you quite bold.”

As your hand moves up and down his forearm, you lean closer to him, until you're whispering into his ear. “If you like that, I could be even bolder, away from prying eyes.”

When you pull away, the smirk has left the tiefling's face. His cheeks, already flushed because of the cheap booze, are the same shade of red as the blood running through his veins — perhaps even darker. You chuckle lightly at his dumbfounded expression, the back of your fingers brushing against his scorching skin before you walk past him. You sway ever so slightly towards the stairs that bring upstairs, stopping just before the first step and leaning against the wall. Waiting.

“Lia.”

The summoned tiefling turns to her brother, whose gaze is still focused on you and your smirking face. “If you could leave the room to us for… an hour or so,” Rolan continues, his words stumbling over one another. “I- we need to discuss some important business,” — he nods to himself — “magic… wizard-y business.”

“Yeah,” she hums while swirling the remaining contents of her drink, a grin on her face. “I bet your dick has a lot of unfinished business with that ass.”

“Lia!”

His whisper is so loud that for a moment it seems to bring back to the present moment even Cal. His head, however, falls soon back onto his sister’s shoulder. Chuckling devilishly, Lia downs her ale and asks with a wave to the innkeeper for another one.

“I’ll give you two hours,” she agrees, cocking her eyebrows. “But you’re paying for the ale.”

Rolan rolls his eyes. “As always.”

“And tomorrow you’ll take care of this.”

She points with a nod to Cal, once again asleep and drooling all over her shirt as his snoring grows by the minute — a loud omen of how insufferable he will be the next day, complaining about his hangover. Rolan takes a deep breath before huffing it out, frustrated but unable to quarrel, given that you’re still waiting for him.

“Fine! I will do my due.” He turns to leave but stops, facing Lia for another moment as he gently squeezes her arm. “Thank you, sister.”

“Just remember this when I’ll need some business time of my own,” she screams at his turned back, but she might as well be talking to a wall. Rolan’s attention has left her and Cal, focusing completely on you and the way your figure is still leaning against the wooden, dirty wall.

As he steps closer, your brain finally catches on to what's going to happen in a handful of minutes and you can’t help the way your heartbeat quickens at the mere thought. You had often considered the possibility, fantasizing about the tiefling before going to sleep. They were simple dreams, delusions really, a way to ease the struggles of the day with a gentle thought to yourself. But there’s no time left for the fantasy: Rolan’s standing in front of you now, with his blood coloring his cheeks and his hand — real as the flesh and bones that’s made of — stretched towards you.

“Come. I’ll show you my room.”

You take it with a smirk, rubbing your thumb on his fingers when they close around yours. “Who’s the bold one now?”

He remains quiet as he pulls you with him into the stairwell. You leave behind the light of the tavern, stepping into a darkness so sudden that it blinds you. In the time that it takes to regain your sight, Rolan’s hands slither to your waist. You hold your breath as they gently guide you backwards until your back meets the wall. You don’t even see the tiefling’s face getting near yours, you simply feel his warm breath dancing on your lips and sending shivers down your spine.

There’s a pause, a moment of stillness as you both get adjusted to the novel closeness, to the warmth that spreads between your clothed bodies and the heaviness of his hands and legs, pressed against and between yours. Rolan doesn’t move back, giving away none of the inches he’s gained towards you, but he doesn’t even close the distance that separates the two of you, leaving you in a limbo of desire that’s slowly driving you crazy by the second.

You nudge your nose against his, smirking when you feel his breath catching in his throat. “What are you waiting for, wizard? A written invitation?”

The question still rings in your mouth when Rolan shuts it with his own lips. They simply press on yours at first, sitting awkwardly on top of each other like all first kisses turn out to be. Then you move, opening and closing your lips onto his bottom one as you've pictured so many times in your dreams, and the dance begins. A dance made of drunken mouths and tongues desperately looking for one another, for a momentary pleasure, and perhaps for something more than a fire that extinguishes in the span of one night.

With all your attention focused on the way his teeth teasingly graze your jaw, you almost forget his hands; that is until they grab your ass and pull you even closer against him. Your fingers dig into his arm as you whimper ever so softly, mentally cursing the leather and clothes separating his bare skin from your touch.

A second later, it all disappears.

His mouth. His hands. The painful and blessed heat rushing through you. Completely gone.

You open your eyes to find Rolan staring at you, his golden irises piercing through the darkness like a lighthouse in a moonless night.

“Come now,” he whispers, a quiet order that you’re more than happy to comply with.

He slides his hand back into your grip and you follow him as he guides you up the stairs. You’re unsure how — despite the alcohol that's flowing and clouding both your brains — you manage to climb the two stories without faults or stumbles; what you know for certain is that the second the door closes behind the tiefling, your hands are pulling him back in before he can utter a single word.

Your mouth sloppily moves on his with the hunger of a starving wolf. With your fingers stroking and pulling his air, you drink in the soft moans that escape his lips — coal to feed the fire that burns within. His hands go back to your hips, squeezing them before his fingertips make their way under your shirt. The grazing touch of his claws on your bare skin is enough to make you gasp.

“Losing your breath for so little, my hero?”

As his whisper and the shivers caused by it linger on your skin, you grab him by the collar. You can feel him swallow as you do, his throat brushing against your knuckles.

“When I’m done with you,” you hum softly, taking a few steps back and dragging him to the bed, “you’ll be lucky if you still remember your name.”

You're not used to giving — or receiving — this kind of gentleness: your hands always find themselves more at ease when covered in blood than wrapped in the gentle hold of a lover. Yet, this softness seems to spring naturally from you as your fingertips inch tentatively along his bare skin, patiently tracing the shape of his bones and muscles instead of devouring every inch of flesh in sight. Despite your newfound care, his chest trembles under your touch, his shaky breath mixing with a soft whimper when you climb in his lap, legs spread and knees pointed on either side of him.

With his face even more flushed than ever, Rolan opens his mouth. Whatever thought crosses his glowing eyes, nothing leaves his lips other than a breathless sigh as he silently and wide-eyed stares at you. Chuckling softly, you turn him around and sit him down on the consumed mattress of the inn. You undo his belt and the knots of his leather bracers, despite the alcoholic numbness slowing your fingers down, before messily helping him out his light armor and tunic.

“You look scared.” You drag your fingers along his jaw before settling them on his burning cheek, your thumb caressing his cheekbone. “We can stop here, if you want. It's been a lot of fun already.”

Rolan chuckles quietly but his eyes don't leave yours. “I'm many things right now. Drunk, mostly. In utter awe of your beauty, most definitely. But frightened?” — he holds his breath, shaking his head ever so slightly — “How could I be afraid of something I desire so deeply?”

“And doesn’t that scare you?”

“Wanting?”

“No,” you mutter softly, your thumb digging deeper into his skin. “Not wanting.”

Since you’ve been old enough to recognize it, you’ve known the thrill that desire can set alight within you and others. You’ve cherished it deeply, abused it at times and chastised yourself for it afterwards. Because where there’s wanting — where affection and love and attachment grow stronger — the looming threat of losing’s always following closely behind. You’ve witnessed that pain, tested out on your own skin, and it never left you. It’s constantly with you, a sleeping presence that lives in the back of your mind, awaking like clockwork at the slightest hint of closeness and intimacy and filling your head with dark whispers that always manage to draw you away. From what was left of your family. From friends, lovers and anyone else you’ve ever cared about.

Even now its honeyed whispers stick to your ears, a reminder that despite the rush flowing through your veins — despite the kindness that spills from your heart, this will be one of the many nights spent with a stranger in a dirty inn in the middle of nowhere. After all, you might’ve met before and bickered like an old married couple before parting ways, you might’ve thought endlessly about his hands roaming your naked body every night you were apart and you might want him just as much as he wants you, but Rolan remains nothing but a stranger.

“Then what-”

The tiefling’s words are lost in your mouth. The same gentleness from before spreads from your lips as you softly push yourself more into him until he’s laying down on the covers. His hands glide along your legs as his tail also wraps around one of them, with its pointy end brushing along your inner thigh. You can't help the sighs full of pleasure that slip through your kisses while that involuntary response continues to tease you. Or the way your insides seem to stir at Rolan's moan when you gently squeeze the bulge in his pants.

“Just relax, wizard.” You linger once again on his lips, a smirk pulling your mouth when you move away. “I'll take care of it. Then if you want, you can return the favor.”

He nods with a mischievous smile. “I’d be delighted to.”

As you keep kissing, slowly getting to his waist, you feel his muscles relax more and more under your touch. His breathing slows, getting more and more regular by the minute. Too regular in a way, unwavering even when your hands start pulling down his pants.

Chuckling lightly, you kiss him again, deeper this time. You move to his jaw, then lower, leaving a trail of spit and sloppy kisses from his neck to his chest. When you look up at him, he’s closed his eyes while his head rests on the mattress, mouth slightly open and lips shaking every once in a while whenever your tongue laps over a sensitive spot. Everytime you feel his chest tremble, you stop and torture that part of his skin, revelling in his quiet — and not so quiet — whimpers.

Another noise escapes his lips seconds later, a vibration that shakes his entire body and stops your movements on the spot.

“Are you kidding me…”

Rolan’s sleeping. You poke him in the abdomen with a finger but he doesn’t even flinch. You’ve definitely underestimated the amount of alcohol he’s managed to drink, or simply his resistance to it.

It would feel almost insulting, falling asleep like that with you about to give him head, if only he didn’t look so peaceful.

“You’re lucky you're cute,” you whisper with a pout as you get off him, ready to go back to camp and take care of your arousal in your own tent. However, as soon as you try to take a step from the bed, something pulls you back. Lowering your gaze, you find Rolan’s tail still wrapped around your leg.

“Really?”

You tap gently on it, pulling it to loosen its grip around you, but your maneuvers only make the tail tighten more. Sighing heavily, you consider every option that could aid your silent exit, but there isn’t one in which you don’t wake the wizard up. Then, as the weariness and alcohol start to take over your tired limbs, you consider staying. Not leaving, for once. Daring to want something more, something that lasts longer than a night. Maybe something that could last forever.

The mere thought awakes the dark presence in your mind. It’s louder than normal, ringing in your head like the most annoying headache. You push your hands into your eyes, rubbing quickly to soothe away the pain but to no avail. Normally at this point, with the reminder of the pain of losing so close, you’d be running away without thinking of anyone but yourself, selfishly guarding your heart like the frailest of glass sculptures.

However, once again, there’s nothing normal in your life lately.

Ignoring the shadowy voice that’s now screaming in the back of your head, you slip in bed with Rolan, snuggling next to him in the small space left. As soon as the mattress tilts under your weight, the tiefling turns towards you, his face resting so close that his nose brushes against yours with every breath.

You stare at him for a long time, taking in every detail in his face until the candle in the room runs out. Even when the shadows have wrapped you in their arms, your eyes keep searching for him in the dark. The longer you look at him — at the way his lips curl or the few scattered freckles on his cheeks and nose, the quieter the voice in your head gets.

When the door opens again and Lia and Cal step in, you’re still awake, still studying his features — the voice is a mere whisper. You hear Lia mutter something to herself, probably about the fact that you’re still there, but her voice is soon replaced with the sounds of regular breathing and soft snoring. It doesn’t take long after that for you to also give in to the pull of sleep.

However, before you shut your brain off, you let your hand slip in his hold. The last thing you feel before Selûne welcomes you in her realm is Rolan squeezing your hand.

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 5: Degradation

Pairings: Dabi x male reader

This guy

Warnings: kissing, swearing, begging, pretty mean Dabi, sex, anal, little foreplay, creampie, Degradation DUH

Word count: 1137

You were never really a part of The League of Villains; you just like to hang out at the base because the people are fun, and hot so that helps. You don't really feel either way about heroes too strongly. Right back to the hot thing, take your pick, you would fuck Twice, Dabi, Shigaraki, or Compress. On the other hand maybe you should be here.

You were just walking along the hallways until you happened to bump into crispy bacon himself, Dabi.

"Watch where you're going dumbass." He sneered coldly.

"You're the one who bumped into me" You replied, much more calmly than him because it really isn't that big of a deal.

"Bull shit." He exclaimed, still quite angry for no reason.

"Whatever." You said, done with his weird hyper masculinity thing. You try to walk right by him, but he stops you by holding tightly onto your arm and pushes you into the wall, his arms blocking both directions.

"Pinning me to the wall, cliche much." You said sassily. "I mean we might as well be in the omega verse with how fan fiction that was." His anger grew to a cartoony amount after your comment. He puts a harsh grip on your shoulders as he looks down at you, being much larger.

"The fuck does that even mean?" He asked coldly.

"It's like wolf people but also not because they are human but also absolutely but also not at all but also like they have heat cycles and sometimes ears and a tail but not always and sometimes it's used for already existing fandoms. It's weird as fuck but when done right it is pretty hot." You answered(?), your face remaining straight the whole time while his contorts into one of confusion.

It's dead silent for a while until you hear Dabi burst out into laughter. You follow suit, realizing how fucking crazy fan fiction can be sometimes. During his outburst he lets go of you, though one arm remains on your shoulder for support, you do the same with him, though it looks a lot goofier on your end sense he is so much taller than you.

"You're fucking with me." He said, his laughter dying off. Before you can even think you replied with,

"I wish." Your face goes blank, realizing what you just said. You look at Dabi for his response and... he burst out laughing once again, and you follow up. Once you're sure he thought this whole thing was a joke he picks you up and flings you over his shoulder.

Your face is stunned, and you don't know how to react, I mean you could kick and scream, but you honestly don't care that much in which to put that much energy into that, also your kind of sort of but not really crush has you potato sacked so like fun.

"You wouldn't do anything, you fucking skank." He degraded, then spanked your ass.

He leads you to his room and plops you right on to his bed. He takes his shirt off, revealing his muscular abs. He lays down on top of you and begins to kiss you, in which you immediately return.

The kiss gets passionate very quickly, his tongue already exploring your mouth. He knows how easily and quickly you give, though he's still going to give you shit for it.

"Fucking bitch in heat, I can already feel your pre though your pants." He said, he puts his knee on your crotch, rubbing it on your clothed dick, making you have short little moans of pleasure, but you still need more.

"I bet you want the real deal, wanting the dick of someone you hardly know." He said.

"Come on Dabi, we know each other enough." You joked, a cheeky smile on your face. He shuts you up by tearing off your clothes, within an instant leaving you completely naked.

He sucks on your erect nipples, licking and biting the left one while simultaneously rubbing the other. Your moans are getting louder now, but your lower body still craves more attention.

"Please start now Dabi, dear god I can't take it." You begged.

"Slut, I bet you've done this with every guy here." He said, the very thought he put into his head made him angry. "Bitch"

Though he still answers your prayers, putting his fingers into your ass. You moan loudly though it doesn't last very long though because right after he takes his pants off.

His large schlong is big but mainly girthy, and the kinky bastard has some burned off skin stapled to it.

"Jesus fucking Christ how painful was that?" You asked, needing this question to be answered. He laughs,

"Dear god you have no idea." He answered, you answer by kissing him.

"Poor baby," you said, mostly genuine, he's surprised by your response and replies himself by putting his dick up your ass.

It takes a while for him to get all the way due to your tight ass and his girthy cock. You just want it to be over, it's pretty painful. He kisses you to calm you down, which does work. When he's finally all the way in he slowly pumps his hips into you.

His pace is awfully slow, and his movements are quite gentle. He stays at this pace for a long period of time, until finally speeding up. Your noises get louder almost instantly after his speed increases.

"You would like that wouldn't you. I bet a little whore like you likes it rough." He said, his degradation is getting more and more aggressive. You're beginning to like it degrading more as well, did you just discover a new kink, crazy.

His thrusts are quite uncontrolled but fast, almost like he hasn't had much experience. It probably would be hard to find someone because not only is he a super villain, but he also has horrible burn scars all over him.

He puts your legs up into a mating press, making you officially a moaning mess. In which he also lifts your ass up enough for him to spank you sharply.

"I knew you liked it rough, fucking bitch." He said.

Climax is on the brink, building and building until... he stops. Anger and confusion are evident on your face, you're about to scream at him when,

"Wanna cum, then beg slut." He stated, movements still completely still as you writhe under him, wanting to chase your release.

"Please, Dear God Dabi please, I need your hot cum inside me." You begged.

That's all he needs to rapidly thrust in you again, you cum all over yours and his chest. He follows suit, filling you up. Right after he falls asleep, you do the same quickly after, his breath lulling you to rest.

THE END

[vukovich]

24K9

A daily(?) kinktober Tumblr fic. Will post to AO3 on American Thanksgiving, 2023.

Harry is a K9 unit Auror. Draco is the Ministry Kennelmaster. How could that possibly lead to anything?

Tags: collaring, top Draco, sensual pet play, touch starved Harry, bathing, shaving, rescue dog feels, other tags TBA, maybe dark draco ending?, maybe werewolves?, definitely coming untouched though, just blasting rope man

--

Chapter One

“I assure you, Auror Potter,” drawled the Patronus, speaking even before it found its full form, “there is nothing wrong with your partner.”

Malfoy’s tone was patronising, as though he were telling Harry that the monsters under his bed weren’t real, and to go back to sleep.

Next to Harry’s desk, his ‘partner’ had managed to catch his tail and was currently gnawing on it with nothing short of ardour.  K9 Auror Wurst, aka RottWurst, clamped down on his fluffy tail so hard, Harry swore he heard a crunch.

The bright fog condensed into a direwolf the size of a modest pony.  It was the perfect symbol for Draco Malfoy.  A pale, leggy, sharp-toothed relic of another time.

“And I assure you,” Harry spat, “Kennelmaster Malfoy, that this mutt’s fucking touched in the head.”

The mutt in question was eighty-plus pounds of Rottweiler-poodle abomination.  He looked like a St Bernard had dug into an avalanche, missed the humans, and hit a thousand-volt power line instead.  The curly white fur on his belly was caked with mud, and his brown muzzle still had bits of grass clippings on it.  The rest of him was black, save his brown eyebrows and speckled ears.

“He keeps alerting to sex magic, not dark magic.  It’s fucking embarrassing.  Dragged me across Hyde Park.  I had to use a Confundus on him to get him back to the office.”

The direwolf was so still that Harry blinked twice to make sure the shape wasn’t burned into his retinas.  It was a bloody showboat of a Patronus.

It was so bright that it brought out the dinginess of Harry’s office.  The yellow carpet had a pale brown trail between the door and Harry’s desk chair.  The corners of the ceiling had cobwebs, and the baseboards held an unhealthy amount of dust.

The fresh dog piss on the floor didn’t help things.

“I mean, he’s not worthless,” Harry added.  “But Robards said he can’t reassign him to Vice.  That he doesn’t have that authority.  So it must be you who has to do it.”

It was a little risky to bypass Robards the way he had, contacting Malfoy directly.  He probably should have made an appointment with his assistant or something.

But he’d been angry, so he’d pulled an interdepartmental priority Howler out of his desk and sent it.

There was probably a DMLE protocol for contacting a member of the Wizengamot.  There was a DMLE protocol for everything but wiping his arse.  Actually, they probably had one for that, too.

Harry blinked again.  His eyes were dry.  He was on hour seven of a twelve-hour shift.  After this, he’d get another coffee.

The direwolf shifted its weight, then leaned back, hindquarters high, in a deep stretch.  Its paws spread out in front of it.

Harry wondered if Malfoy was actually stretching.  And what that might look like.

It’d been years since he’d seen Malfoy in person.  Just in the papers, and only in the background of Wizengamot photos.  He’d been called to his Wizengamot seat the day after his thirtieth birthday, having met the minimum age.  They hadn’t called Hermione to hers until she was thirty-two.  She’d die mad about that.

The direwolf laid down, then yawned.

Harry yawned.

Wurst yawned.  Then farted.

Harry thought to check the time.  2:30 AM, according to his wristwatch.  He’d been on the clock for fourteen hours.  Not seven.

“Shit,” Harry said.

He’d woken a member of the Wizengamot at 2:30 AM.  And an important one.  

The direwolf sighed and tucked its muzzle under its paw.  Harry held his breath.  Maybe Malfoy would fall asleep.

Maybe he’d doze off, and he’d think he dreamt he got a Howler in the middle of the night from a burnout beat cop at least six rungs below him.  Maybe.

The direwolf sighed again, then drifted away like will-o'-the-wisps on the wind.

Maybe Malfoy wouldn’t report this.

Maybe.

Maybe Robards wouldn’t kill him.

He drummed his fingers on his desk.  If he did get written up, it’d be his sixth this year.  Two of them were for failing to meet dress code, but the shaving regulations were stupid, and the hygiene one was just weird.

Still.  

Wurst looked at him.  He looked at Wurst.

Nothing would happen.  His talk with Malfoy had only lasted a few seconds.  He’d think it was a dream.

It would be fine.

“It’ll be fine,” Harry told Wurst, ignoring the sweat on his palms.

Wurst’s nostrils flared, and then an ivory envelope slid under the door.  It sat on the grimy carpet for a moment, then folded itself into a swan.  With a few wingbeats, it landed on Harry’s desk and unfolded itself.

Inside was a business card.

Draco L Malfoy Wizengamot Member, Kennelmaster Warminster BA13 4SH UK

“Shit,” Harry said.

He flipped the card over.  On the back was an appointment date and time.  Tomorrow.

“Fuck.”

Robards was going to kill him.

--

[lipglossanon]

The anon who sent the long puppy boy Leon blurb is back and brain rotting.

Imagine bringing Leon back to the shelter for a visit. You make sure to stress to him that you aren’t returning him, that he’s still your good boy, that you’re only bringing him to visit the other hybrids that he misses. You make sure to have his collar on him, maybe a little tighter than usual so he can feel the weight of it on him, grounding him through it all that he’s still yours.

Once leon knows that he’s not going back permanently, just to visit, he’s excited! He wants to help the other puppies train so they can be good boys, wants to brag that his owner is so sweet and nice and lets him scent her by hugging her! But more importantly, he wants to talk to the dog men about how to help his puppy cock. See, Leon has had boners before you, but now, it feels like every time you make his tail wag, he’s leaking cum into his pants. You’re gonna notice the amount of laundry soon, and Leon is worried you’ll actually return him if you find out just what his puppy cock is doing. So he goes to the older dog men, and asks how to make him stop leaking cum every where. The older dog tease him for his over excited puppy cock, but they see how anxious he is about this and tell him there is something he can wear that’ll stop his puppy cock from getting hard, which should stop him from cumming every where every time you so much as look at him. He gets one from the shelter (after begging the volunteer to not say anything to you, and he’s making himself sick at the thought of you finding out so the volunteer has to agree).

He puts it on, and though it feels wrong to not have his puppy cock out and ready to hump things the second you so much as look his way, he’s hopeful that this will stop his leaking. And it does! Kinda… he’s not getting hard (though he wants to, he can feel his dick wanting to swell, the knot begging to form for you) but he’s still cumming whenever he gets too excited or close to you. Actually, it might even be making him worse because he’s more sensitive now, and he’s found himself trying to hump even when in his device. His puppy cock is so sensitive and filled with even more cum because of the sensitivity. But he doesn’t want to risk not wearing it when you’re home because then you’ll find out and you’ll hate him!!

Finally, one day you come home to see puppy boy Leon humping your pillow with the cage still on. Every other hump has cum leaking from his puppy cock, yet he still keeps going. You coo and call for your puppy to tell you what’s happening, and he does, even as he keeps cumming because your near him with his puppy cock exposed. So you tell him he doesn’t have to be caged up, he can use his puppy cock and fill you will all the cum he’s been wasting and the words make him cum for like 8 minutes straight, the largest load you’ve ever seen, and he’s still in the cage. Getting him out of the cage and inside you, it’s like you bought a fucking machine because even when he’s cumming, he just keeps fucking into you nonstop, and your tummy is swelling a bit from being so filled with cum and he’s not stopping, mind completely broken and all he knows is to hump and cum as he whimpers and whines.

(I tried to not add any piss stuff this time around, even though I love the idea of subby little puppy boys not being able to control what leaks out of their dicks because they’re too dumb and horny to control themselves, just in case some people dislike that stuff)

Anon!!! 🫣

I love your blurbs!! And send whatever you want into my inbox (within reason, I don’t legally need to know if you’ve killed a man 🤭). So if you like piss, then add it to your thoughts no sense in censoring yourself hehe

But anon, holy moly! 🥵😵‍💫🫠🫠

A cock cage for little puppy Leon cause he just can’t help himself???? 💀 🤤 and he keeps going and going? 😮‍💨 damn anon got me thinking silly thoughts now 🥴

I’m serious about you writing your own fics 👀 I think you’d do great 😌 but I’m more than happy for you to keep swinging by instead 🤭

[feralfather]

If you're taking requests, could I have something with Spider being manhandled by the recoms and Quaritch? Like, he's literally just being carried around over Quaritch's shoulder bc he wouldn't go when he was told to, or he's just held in the air until he tires himself out when he's trying to attack them, etc. Just the recoms taking advantage of their size and Spider being about as effective as an actual child against them (hopefully inspiring some Dad!Quaritch feels as well?) Sorry if this is too detailed!

Oh yes yes yes! I accept requests! I love it!

If there’s one thing Spider got from his father, it was his stubbornness and anger… definitely his anger. That boy could blow up like a grease fire when provoked; try and douse it out with water, and it’ll only grow. You have to smother it.

Now, that isn’t to say Quaritch actually smothers the boy whenever he gets mad. He wouldn’t never.

No, instead he’s found it easier to snatch the kid up by his armpits and hold him at arms length while he screams curses and tries to punch and kick Quaritch in the chest. He learnt the hard way not to hold him close, after receiving a hearty kick to the chest, resulting in Spider rocketing himself backwards out of his grip and onto the floor, nearly giving the Quaritch a heart-attack while the other Recoms burst into laughter. Sometimes it was easy to forget how strong Spider was, but his bruised chest left him with a reminder of that strength for the following week.

Even if he had scolded Spider’s ear off for it, he couldn’t help but feel pride at the boy’s strength. He’d never say any of this, of course. He didn’t want to encourage Spider’s violent behavior towards him… but it made Miles feel better to know his son could wipe the floor with anyone who made the mistake of thinking he was an easy target.

And if Spider could bruise a Na’vi, he could only imagine the damage that kid could do to another Human with a single kick.

Maybe he should be more concerned with the amount of anger Spider seems to fall in, but he had his fair share of anger issues in his youth, and still does, so when someone pushes Spider’s buttons a little too much, Miles isn’t too hard on the kid when he blows up.

But none of this matters, as currently Miles is dealing with a different kind of situation. This isn’t angry Spider, this is stubborn Spider.

Z-Dog had been messing with the kid all day as they traversed through the jungle, like the absolute child she is, and Miles could only roll his eyes at the immaturity of it all. They taunted, poked, and argued with each other like children.

Spider eventually got fed up with her, and planted himself defiantly on the next large root they passed.

Miles had an ear tilted back towards the kid, so when he heard the crackling of Z-Dog’s laughter, he expected his kid to snap something back, but was met with resounding silence.

Brows furrowed, he turns his head to make sure he was alright, only to come to a halt at the sight of Spider sitting grumpily on a root, arms crossed over his chest, and Z-Dog bent over and snickering at his expression as she popped a bubble in his face. The rest of his squad paused at the sound of Miles’ growl.

“Zdinarsk!” Miles snapped, causing her to shoot up and snap to attention, looking like she got caught doing something she shouldn’t have. “The hell happened?” He continued as he quickly walked over to the two, frowning as he scanned Spider for any injury.

Z-Dog tried to keep a straight face. “He refuses to move.”

Miles couldn’t see anything wrong, but his tail still lashed in worry as he leans down to place a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You hurt?”

Spider only huffed, giving Zdinarsk a side-eyed glare. “No, she’s being a stupid butthole!”

Miles deadpans at the boy, ear twitching at the sound of Z-Dog’s snort of laughter. “Whatever you say, Tarzan.”

“I don’t even know who that is!” Spider snaps back, snarling up at the woman, who only popped another bubble at him.

Quaritch finally blinked, letting out a harsh sigh. “You’ve gotta be shitting me- alright, enough! Both of you!” He scolds them, letting his hand slip from Spider’s shoulder as he stood. “Get up.” He orders the kid, motioning for him to stand.

The boy only sneered and shook his head. “Not until she leaves me the fuck alone!”

Miles took a deep breath in through his nose. Lord, give him patience. “Zdinarsk, go bother Lopez.”

Said marine perked his ears. “What? Why me?!” He protested.

He was ignored.

“Yes, sir.” Z-Dog salutes.

“Liar!” Spider hissed, puffing up when she sticks her tongue out at him.

“What did I just say?” Miles growls, to which Zdinarsk raised her hands in surrender before leaving to pester someone else. He turns back to Spider. “There, now get up. We gotta get a move on before we run out of daylight.”

Spider didn’t move, still not convinced Z-Dog wouldn’t bug him again the moment they start moving again.

“Spider. Don’t test me, boy.” He threatens, eyes narrowing and a stern frown in place as his tail flicked in agitation.

The boy didn’t budge.

Lyle made his way over. “Maybe we should set up camp, night will be on us in a few hours.” He tries to pacify, but Quaritch only hissed as Spider side-eyed them.

“No. I ain’t givin’ in to this tantrum. We’re moving.”

With that, he swooped down and snatched Spider up before the boy could properly react, throwing him over his shoulder as he strides forward back to the front of the squad. He held tightly onto the back of Spider’s legs and ignored the kid’s hissing, cursing, wiggling, and kicking as best he could. He also ignored the other’s snickering coming from behind him.

It took about half an hour, but Spider finally tired himself out enough to allow Miles to slightly loosen his grip on his legs, and the boy rag-dolled against his back, head pressed into Miles’ vest and arms dangling in defeat as he tried to catch his breath.

… With Spider calm and not fighting him, Miles began to feel a light feeling building in his chest, like the weight of the word was slipped from his shoulders and replaced with the comforting weight of his son… he didn’t want the feeling to leave. It felt.. nice, oddly enough.

They carried on like this until Spider grew bored.

Quaritch jolted slightly when little fingers brushed against his tail, causing it to lash away from the touch. He clears his throat as some of the others chuckled. “The hell you doin’, kid?”

“I’m bored. Put me doooowwwn.” Spider whined into his back.

“Hell no. Can’t have you tryin’ another stunt like that and slow us down.” Was the excuse Miles came up with, unwilling to admit that the idea of putting the kid down was feeling more and more unappealing by the second. He didn’t realize how much he would enjoy holding his son, until this moment, and he was unwilling to part with the boy.

Spider only groaned and went back to trying to catch his tail.

… and if Miles indulged the boy by flicking his tail near his grabbing hands, no one said a word against it.

[jnnul]

lowkey

gif credit: @chwerity

genre: FLUFF, action if you count the amount of running they do 😭, jaemin being stupid <3

word count: 0.8k

type: drabble

a/n: hehe welcome to my first official post! i guess the other two were just timestamps to kinda get a feel for tumblr lol. let me know what you guys think! the comments/reblog tags are so cute and i keep rereading them <3

+++

you had never expected that you would spend your friday night running away from daily mail.

quite frankly, you didn’t expect that you would be running at all on a friday night, much less from tabloids. you prided yourself on how lowkey you lived your life. you made few, but diehard, friends. you had no enemies. you had a well-paying, stable job and you were working towards buying your own apartment soon. but for all of your attempts to stay absolutely average, your superstar boyfriend had to go become famous and propel you to stardom with him.

“oh my god, jaemin, if i have to work out every time we go on a date, i’m literally never seeing you in person again,” you gasp as your boyfriend tugs on your arm to make you run faster - as if that would mean that you would lose your paparazzi trail.

you still don’t know how you ended up like this in the first place. pulling na jaemin, the center of nct dream, was a small miracle in itself. but regardless, you were well seasoned veterans of the dating scheme now. after dating for three years, the two of you were really good at hiding from the public about your relationship.

it definitely helped that you were a run of the mill citizen (as opposed to, say, a world renowned singer) and the fact that jaemin was a homebody until he died so being in this situation was a little foreign to you. you weren’t sure if you had gotten into a scare like this since the first two months that you and jaemin were dating.

“i thought we would be safe in fucking london!” jaemin hisses back as the two of you weave in and out of the stumbling bodies exiting suspicious looking clubs. “it’s two in the morning and people still recognized me wearing a sweatshirt, mask, and sunglasses.”

you stop in your tracks at that, gaping at jaemin’s ‘foolproof’ disguise. the sweatshirt he mentioned? neon green. you mentally face-palm as the two of you start running again, hearing the incoming mob of people.

they definitely had done this before, you think. you were way too tired and they looked like keep tailing the two of you for another couple hours for sure.

“you cannot tell me that the sweatshirt the color of a traffic suit was your way of escaping paparazzi,” you deadpan. looking back on it, the last couple years worth of dates were done where you were both wearing clothes that were almost at the level of national espionage.

you and jaemin would always wear varying shades of black and the two of you would always choose the most hole in the wall places you could find - or some of the industry safe places, such as the locations in itaewon, where you could easily blend with the foreigners. even some of the veterans of the industry were known for letting idols into their establishments in discrete ways so that everyone could act normally for a few hours.

the two of you had gotten careless this time. thinking you would be safe due to the far away location, as well as the late timing, you had grown lax and comfortable due to the lack of scandals for the past few years. rookie mistake.

“this way! if we get off of peter street, we should be able to dodge the tabloids,” you stage whisper, tugging your boyfriend so that he would be by your side as the two of you dash into the nearest adjacent street that you can.

you’re affectively pressed up against jaemin’s chest as you rest your head against the crook of his neck, trying to conceal both of your faces so that you look like any other drunk and enamored couple. you would tell jaemin to take off that stupid neon green sweatshirt but the space to move is a luxury you haven’t been awarded. 

you and jaemin hold your breaths, hoping that the less noise you make, the less the gods are compelled to send the tabloids your way. it seems your vehement prayers (and perhaps the fact that the alleyway was so dark, it muted jaemin’s sweatshirt color) have paid off because the mob that was following you run right past the alleyway you’re hiding in in a cacophony of “this way!” and “we’re gonna make front page!” that lets you know that you’ve successfully escape them. 

the two of you shimmy out of the alley when you’re positive there’s no one left and breathe in the air that was much too hard to breath in the cramped alleyway.

you look at jaemin, who’s already looking at you with a stupid grin on his face as he presses a kiss against your cheek.

“so much for lowkey, huh?”

“na jaemin, i swear to fucking god, if you don’t throw out that sweatshirt right now, i’m breaking up with you!”

“but...but it’s the nct dream sweatshirt.”

“...i’m gonna kill jeno.”

[dreams-and-drabbles]

i request Genshin angst

how Genshin men react when you wanna break up with them. :')

Oh, anon. I adore angst. This is going to be incredibly fun to write…

Thoma

He’s distraught— His first response is “Did I do something wrong?”

When you explain it just didn’t work, he stops asking questions and accepts that the two of you are over. He avoids your gaze as he excuses himself, and from the corner of your gaze, you can see he’s bitten down on his lip enough to bleed.

Thoma is happy to leave the relationship in the past, which unfortunately also meant leaving you in the past, as well…

Your friendship never really recovered from that. The two of you interacted just fine with others in the room, but anytime it was just the two of you alone, a tense silence seemed to overtake the room. It didn’t break until one of you left or someone else entered.

It was almost like you didn’t exist to him anymore, and you’re not really sure how exactly you feel about that…

Kaeya

Kaeya’s response is a self deprecating laugh and a bitter, “I told you so. Everyone tires of me eventually.”

If you thought it was hard to understand him before, after the breakup it seemed as though an entire ocean separated you from Kaeya.

While the two of you could still hold a conversation and even had friendly interactions, there was no real spark there anymore when you talked.

It felt as though the both of you were acting, in a desperate attempt to keep the normalcy.

Somehow, the others you’re acquainted with seem to think you and Kaeya are still fairly close.

At least, you’re fooling them… Neither you nor Kaeya can truly fool yourselves into thinking that things will ever quite be ‘okay’ between you again…

Ayato

His initial response is surprise, but he quickly writes it off, and asks for your reasoning to breakup.

He takes your explanation quite well, and his response is, “I understand. It will do no one any good trying to hold onto something that is not working…”

You and Ayato remain friends, and the two of you can still interact as you did before.

Perhaps, it’s because Ayato has seen and experienced relationships that didn’t work, but his response to the situation is one of incredible tact.

Sometimes, the two of you reminisce on things you did while dating, and those conversations always leaves you with a bittersweet sense.

At the end of the day, at least you still had each other… It just wasn’t in the way it used to be, as you both knew that wouldn’t work. ((Although, sometimes you wish it could.))

Diluc

His response to the breakup is a cold, “Okay.”

Any warmth he may have displayed to you dissipated after that, and he treated you like he would a stranger.

Diluc went above and beyond to keep you at arm’s length, and it equal parts hurt and equal parts made you mad.

You ask him one day, if everything you’d had amounted to nothing, and his response was—

“I asked that too, when you decided that we weren’t enough.”

Needless to say, that response was like a slap to the face, and you’ve started visiting the Cat’s Tail instead…

Cyno

He accepts the breakup rather gracefully, but as soon as you’ve parted ways, he throws himself into his work.

Cyno does not know how to deal with emotions at the best of times, so he goes on a hunting spree, tracking down as many targets as he can for the next month…

You’re concerned, of course, but anytime the two of you run into each other, he’s on his way to track yet another target…

You’re lucky if you even catch sight of him, after all of this…

Al Haitham

His first response is to list all of the reasons you should continue to date him, and why he was a logical choice. After you explained that emotions weren’t logical by any means, however, he accepted your reasons and let it drop—

Surprisingly, your friendship withstood the breakup fairly well, except now Al Haitham seemed to be incredibly interested in your emotional response to everything.

You went from dating to becoming his lab rat, and you’re not fond of that in the slightest—

When you explain this to Al Haitham, he immediately takes note of your response, and the next time you’re out he’s incredibly charming.

When you eventually ask him why he’s doing all this, his response is—

“I’m attempting to find some sort of logic in all of this, so that I can distract myself from the illogical hurt that I feel. Do you understand?”

To say you feel bad for your earlier words is an understatement—

The worst part was that in no way did Al Haitham attempt to make you feel guilty…

You just did…

[clangenrising]

Month 2 - Newleaf

Scorch lounged in the entrance to the healer’s den, basking in the late afternoon glow and watching the cats that lived here going about their day to day. She’d been told by the aging healer, Sagetooth, not to go wandering off and really only left the den to eat and make dirt, but she’d taken to sitting in the entrance when she wasn’t sleeping. She enjoyed the sensation of power she felt when the strange cats tried to glance at her when they thought she wasn’t looking and were forced to pretend they hadn’t when she stared directly back. It made her smile to think she had stumbled into their home barely conscious and they were still too scared of her to maintain eye contact. Well… Most of them were.

Across the way, Yarrowshade, the pale ginger tom who had found her on the road, came bounding down the hill into the camp with a dark blue bengal she-cat who Scorch had noted seemed to be in charge to some extent. The two cats were laughing and panting and Scorch narrowed her eyes as if doing so would help her understand their distant conversation. Yarrowshade looked over and met her gaze and, unlike the rest of the strangers, he held it unwaveringly. He even smiled. Scorch wasn’t sure how to interpret his reaction. Should she be worried he wasn’t afraid or was this a good sign? 

He excused himself from his friend and approached her. 

“So!” Yarrowshade plopped down next to her without any introduction or preamble, “How’s your head?” 

She regarded him carefully for a beat before donning an aloof smirk. “Sticky,” she said. “Your Sagetooth put some weird plant mush on it.” She flicked her tail dismissively and looked down her nose at him.

“Yeah, she does that,” he laughed, still completely unphased. “Just be glad she didn’t decide she needed to add Garlic.” His nose scrunched in exaggerated distaste. She couldn’t help but let a hurmored breath out through her nose at his ridiculous expression. That only seemed to encourage him. 

“I’m glad you’re gonna be alright,” he continued. “Most things that run into monsters don’t make it long.”

“Monsters?” she queried, quirking a brow. 

“Yeah, the thing that attacked you on the thunderpath.” 

Scorch took a moment to try and puzzle out what this weirdo was saying. Suddenly it clicked. “Oh, you mean the car.” 

“Car?” Yarrowshade tilted his head, perplexed, “Is that what you call them?” 

“It’s what the house cats call them,” she said with an air of superiority. “I figure they would know.”

“Weird.” He shook his head. “Well, here, we call them monsters. You have to admit it’s fitting.” 

Scorch shrugged. “I suppose.” Somewhere in the back of the den, Sagetooth started to shuffle about and Scorch glanced back to see if she could glimpse the healer. Opposed to Yarrowshade or the rest of the cats, Sagetooth never met Scorch’s eyes unless she meant to, seemingly too busy to give her any amount of attention that wasn’t explicitly medical in nature. Honestly, Scorch respected it. The grizzled she-cat reminded her of the mollies she’d been raised by. Her disinterested demeanor was strangely comforting. 

“Are you going to stay once you’re feeling better?” Yarrowshade asked, bringing her back to the present. 

“Ah, you're going to try and convince me to join your cult now, aren’t you,” Scorch said with a bit of a sneer. 

“No, no, I’m just curious!” Yarrowshade laughed, waving his paws apologetically. When he’d finished, he asked, “Why do you keep calling the Clans a cult?” and he seemed to be genuinely curious. 

“From what I’ve heard, you are one,” Scorch replied simply. “You don’t like outsiders, you make people who join you change their names and avoid their old friends, you worship dead cats and use them to justify everything you do.” In the back of the den, Sagetooth gave a small harrumph. 

“Careful,” Yarrowshade chuckled, “Sagetooth might have your ears for talk like that.” 

Scorch bristled a little. “See? That’s cultish. You’re in a cult.” 

“I’m joking,” he assured her quickly, but she wasn’t put at ease. “She wouldn’t actually hurt anybody.” He glanced over his shoulder at her and then back to Scorch, his carefree demeanor finally slipping into anxious concern. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he trailed off, searching for the words to describe exactly what he had done. 

“It’s fine.” Scorch huffed, irritated by the sympathy welling up inside her. 

“Okay,” he offered her an apologetic, lopsided frown. “I’m sure you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. And go when you want to, of course. You could stay forever though, if you wanted.”

“Your Goldenstar said as much when she came to visit me,” Scorch flicked her tail. “She’s your leader?” 

“Yeah,” Yarrowshade brightened a bit. “StarClan granted her nine lives to serve and protect her Clan with!” 

“StarClan…” Scorch narrowed her eyes skeptically. “That's… your god, right?” 

“Our ancestors,” he corrected. ‘Each star is a cat who died watching over us. When we die, we join StarClan and hunt forever among the stars.”

“Right…” she chuckled. 

“It’s true!” he insisted. “Goldenstar and Sagetooth can tell you all about the times StarClan has spoken to them.” 

“I’m sure they will,” Scorch rolled her eyes and cast her gaze out over the camp again. She had no doubt it would suit the cats in power to say they spoke with the dead and had their holy blessing. 

“W- Okay, but it’s not just them,” Yarrowshade said, a bit of frustration creeping into his tone. “Other cats speak with StarClan sometimes. And everyone I know has seen a leader die and then get back up and keep fighting thanks to the lives that StarClan gave them.” 

“Oh, come on,” Scorch laughed, looking at him again. “They have not.” 

“It’s true!” Yarrowshade purred proudly. “Promise! Maybe you should stick around to see it for yourself.” Scorch scoffed and moved to bat at him playfully but wobbled, suddenly struck by dizziness. Yarrowshade sat up in worry. 

“Woah, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she huffed. “Just dizzy.” Her head was starting to ache again and she grit her teeth with a small groan. 

“Maybe you should focus on resting instead of claiming to know things about topics you do not understand?” Sagetooth growled from the back of the den. 

“Sorry, Sagetooth,” called Yarrowshade, rising to his feet, “my bad!” Looking back to Scorch, he added, “I’ll stop by some other time to see how you’re doing. Take care!” Scorch watched him trot away and shook her head, immediately regretting it. She curled her tail tightly around herself and laid her head on her paws with a wince. What a pity, she thought, he really believes in magic. 

[webslingingslasher]

Build it better

Part 3 of Something in the orange

part 2

the long awaited final piece, i cannot thank everyone who rooted for this the entire time enough, you made me happier in the last months i've been in a long long time.

Warnings: Ned and Betty are the true heros in this story.

Summary: Peter is stupid, but he always wins.

You talked Peter into going out, you fought him tooth and nail for the bill, finally settling on “I won’t be your girlfriend if I can’t buy you dinner.” He immediately slid the check towards you. 

He walked with your hand laced in his down the street, it was slower now. Most action was done for the day, only a handful of couples or college kids were sharing the space, Peter walked slowly with you and enjoyed conversations about nothing. Like, who would win in a fight, a room full of feral kittens or a room full of preschool kids. You take cats, Peter questions how easy it is for you to count out kids. 

“Little kids are terrible with pets, they would be pulling them by the tails and swinging them around by their necks.” 

You counter react, “Sure, but it would only take one kid to get fucked up by a kitten and then the rest of them would be terrified.” 

Peter nods, “I choose cats.”  

The conversation dies down, both of you enjoying being together in silence. That was important to have with someone, don’t get it wrong, you and Peter spend endless amounts of time talking and laughing and theorizing, but there was never a need or push for it. You talked because you wanted to, not because the space would be full of awkward silence. 

You should be able to be silent with your person and still know what they’re thinking. 

Peter sniffed in the cold air, he was the runny nose when cold type and you were the frozen boogers type, a match made in heaven. 

He broke the silence first, he must have known what you wanted the whole day. He also knew you didn’t want to bring it up. 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

You look over at him, you know instantly what he’s talking about. 

You nod, “Yes, please.” 

He nods then looks around, “Can I take you somewhere?” 

“Of course.” 

“You’ll have to ride.” 

“I don’t mind a taxi, especially when I’m in it with you.” You winked. 

“I appreciate it baby, but I mean a swing ride.” 

“Oh.” 

Say what you will but swinging around the city with Peter isn’t all that fun for you. It’s all the thrill of a rollercoaster with none of the safety, you know Peter would never intentionally hurt you but accidents happen and he may be alright with a bad spill but you wouldn’t be. He’s taken you around before but it was always your idea that you then regretted so you stopped asking, it always seemed fun until you were in the air with just an arm wrapped around you. 

“I know, baby. It’ll be quick.” 

You pout and stomp a foot, a little toddler tantrum. 

“A taxi can’t take us there, otherwise we’d already be in one. I’ll make it fast, promise.” 

You frown.

“I’m not even in the suit, I can’t go far.” 

You groan, “Okay, fine. But I’m closing my eyes the whole time.” 

“That’s okay.” 

“And don’t talk to me, I want no distractions while you're swinging me around all willy nilly.” 

“Got it.” 

“And I want a tight hold, Peter. Bruise me if you have too, I’ll freak out if you’re too gentle.” 

He salutes, “Yes, ma’am.” 

“Ready?” 

You sigh, “No, but yes.” 

“Great!” 

Peter steps forward and holds out his hands, you step forward and wrap your hands around his neck. 

“Leg up.” He taps on your thigh, you holster it to his hip where he grabs under your thighs to hold you against him, you look down as he holds you. 

“Wrap ‘em around me,” You cross your ankles behind his back. 

He pats your butt, “Good girl.” 

You assume the position and hunker your forehead to his shoulder and close your eyes tight, you hear a thwip and you start to leave the ground. 

A powerful shriek is ripped from you, “Arm, Peter! Arm, arm, Peter! Peter!” 

His right arm is wrapped around you tight, so tightly it’s nearly uncomfortable and pinchy. It feels extremely secure, you feel brave and peek one eye open to the city cutting by you. 

“Are you looking?” 

“Don’t talk to me, Peter! Hold tighter!” He squeezes you, you think a little air left your lungs. You welcome it. 

The second his feet touch the ground you latch on tighter, squinting one eye open to make sure it was a safe landing and not sudden death territory. You stayed wrapped around him for a second to catch your breath before dropping down. 

“Welcome back.” 

“Can I still get that ‘I Survived’ metal?” 

“Already have it on backorder.” 

You look around, you’re on a building. You’re not too sure where though, it had to be close but Peter could also go in the distance in just a few minutes. If you had to take a guess it was somewhere in the business district, tall skyscrapers full of the same office over and over. If you look closely at the buildings across from you, you could see a few offices light up, a couple of guys putting in extra work hours. You wonder if they’re trying to stay away from home because it’s too empty and cold, or maybe they were trying to escape their families. 

“Where are we?” 

He’s taken you to essentially, the middle of nowhere. 

There were things around but nothing of importance to either one of you. 

“Where I decided to end things.”  

You purse your lips, “Oh.” 

It must have been a place of importance to Peter. 

“C’mere.” 

You follow him towards the back of the roof, a small overhang from the bigger building behind it. You catch the puddle of stained blood on the cement near Peter’s feet. You have an achy feeling it wasn’t his. 

Peter notices you looking at it, you realize he wanted you to see it. 

“I was sitting here,” He turns to point at the overhang, you can imagine his feet kicking and dangling as he watches over the city. 

“And this guy I’d been back and forth with for a minute comes right in, I mean out of the middle of nowhere. And we’re fighting, it’s normal.” 

You nod, choosing not to speak, it was his turn to talk, yours to listen. 

“And uh,” He pauses to think, he knows there is no easy way to drop this bomb. But he’s come to terms with it, he’s forgiven himself and he’s able to talk about it now. But only with you, only you can get the whole truth. 

Peter runs his hands through his hair, you watch as he shakes out his hand after. He’s getting annoyed at the length, you step in to fix it. Reminding him why he’s let it grow. 

“I gotta be honest here, honey. I was getting my ass kicked, I hadn’t been getting sleep, you were sick and I was helping you catch up on schoolwork and I wasn't thinking about him. I was busy with other things and I didn’t think he was that serious.” 

He notices you frown, he didn’t mean to make it sound like you took the fight out of him. 

“I don’t like how that sounds. It wasn’t you at all, I just had my mind on other things and when he showed up I was unprepared. I just wasn’t expecting anything like it that night.” 

“I know you don’t blame me.” You shook your head, where was this going? 

Peter nods, “Good, where was I?” 

“You were getting your ass kicked.” 

“Oh, right. Okay, so this guy is just wailing into me.” 

You shudder, you never loved hearing about him getting beat up. Doesn’t matter how strong Spider-Man is, that’s your Peter. 

He noticed the recoil but continued, “And I was losing, badly. Then,” He lets out a dry laugh.

“Then, he asks me, ‘I wonder if Y/N was here you’d be trying harder?’ and I uh, I totally fucking lost it, Y/N.” 

Your breath caught, you always knew that was a fear in Peter’s mind. He always tried to tread carefully with you and Spider-Man so these things wouldn’t happen, he did his best to keep you separated from his alter ego but he guesses he didn’t do it good enough.  

This was the first time someone knew who you were in a fight, this was the first time Peter ever lost his temper. 

“Is that why you were nervous when I came by to see you as Spidey?” 

He nods, if he’s honest he never wants to see you again when he’s in the suit. 

“I hurt him really, really badly. After that I just, panicked. I had never done that to someone and I know it wasn’t, but it was because of you. I didn’t do a good enough job at protecting you, and you got looped into something that you have no place being a part of, and then you became a risk. Losing you became a risk.” 

“So you broke up with me because even if I hated you, you would still have me in your life.” 

It wasn’t a question, the pieces clicked. 

“I did.” 

“How bad is bad?” 

You know in your heart Peter could never kill anyone, right? 

“He was throwing me a mean right hook and as soon as he said it I grabbed his fist, and threw him off me. Then I just started punching, I just kept going. It wasn’t even a fight anymore, he stopped fighting back. He couldn’t. And I was so fucking angry he talked about you, that he knew your name and what you are to me. And I kept, fucking, going. He started to gargle on his blood and it sounded so good to me, to know he wasn't able to say your name again.” 

You had no words, how could your Peter do something like that? But he wasn’t your Peter in that moment, he wasn’t the delicate touches and tender words. 

In that moment he wasn’t Spider-Man, he was Peter using Spider-Man. 

“And then he stopped moving. Stopped breathing, stopped choking on his blood. Just, stopped.” 

He stared at the blood stain, you hated you were right when you guessed it wasn’t his blood. 

“And uh,” 

His voice cracked, you try to remember when he stopped making eye contact with you. 

He was ashamed. He thought you were ashamed. 

“It felt good, it felt really good for a second.” He said the words shakily, sniffling and turning his head to the sky. You knew he was trying his hardest not to cry. 

“Then I panicked, all that anger was washed away in a second and I felt disgusted and upset and dirty. And I did a scan on him, he was alive. But barely.” 

You couldn’t help but give a sigh of relief, not even for you, but for Peter. You don’t think Peter could ever fully bounce back if he had killed him. 

“He’s okay now, right?” 

Peter thinks it’s cute how optimistic you are. 

“He’s in a coma, still is. But, they expect a recovery. It’s medically induced, his brain is swollen.” 

“But he’s okay, right?” 

Peter pinched his face, “He’s in a coma, baby.” 

“I know, but he’s safe. He’s breathing, he’s getting help. He’s in a medical setting, and he’s alive because of you. You may not think you showed mercy but him laying in a hospital bed is proof that you’re not a bad person, right?” 

He ignored the last part, “Okay, he’s okay then. He’s okay.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“It wasn’t just about keeping you safe.” 

You tilt your head, “The breakup?” 

“I also never wanted to do that to another person, and I felt like you had a little too much power over that part of my brain. I just felt like I needed a break from you to heal that part of me, and that’s probably selfish but I just couldn’t pretend everything was fine and love you like nothing happened when something did happen.” 

“Looking back I think the breakup was a good thing,” He shared a look with you. “Honestly! I realized a lot of that hurt and pain I had was because I put too much on you. I let you give me every bit of my self confidence and worth and when it ended I realized I had nothing to give myself.” 

“And when you broke up with me I found that. I found my beauty, and my worth and I grew my confidence and I realized why you loved me. Losing you made me love myself, and that’s a lesson I’ll be thanking you for my entire life.” 

“Do you mean to tell me you hated me for nothing and breaking up saved our relationship?” 

“I think so.” 

Peter hummed, he actually agrees with you. 

“Well, do you think I’m a monster?” 

“Oogly boogly, I’m terrified of you.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Serious, come on now.” 

“No. No, I don’t think you’re a monster. I think it may even be a little off putting by how okay I am with that. Not that I think you should do that again, especially with me involved. But, I dunno, Peter.” 

You sighed, “I know that hurt you, and it scared you and it freaked you out. I get it, and you show regret and remorse and you changed by yourself, with no one in on the secret you realized what you did was wrong and you vowed to yourself you would never do it again.”��

You stepped forward to grab his arms, “You’ve punished yourself enough for the both of us. You broke up with me to make sure you would never do anything like that again. That’s growth.” 

“I love you, Peter. And trust me, nothing’s ever gonna change that.” 

“You’re a freak for loving a menace.” 

You smacked Peter on the chest and pushed him away, “Way to ruin a cute moment!” 

“You already told me you loved me, it lost the punch.” 

“No I didn’t! I’ve been saving that one.” 

“When you saw me earlier, I said ‘love you, bye.’ Then you said ‘love you too.’” 

“God damn it, you should’ve pretended you never heard that.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

Then he jumped up and down with a squeal, he threw his arms around your middle and lifted you up spinning. “She loves me, she really, really loves me. Never a doubt in my mind, cause she loves me!” You laugh pushing at his hands to set you down, “If it makes it better that's exactly what went through my mind earlier.” 

You grin, “It makes it better.” 

“You make everything better,” He pressed a fat kiss to your cheek. 

“You know what this means?” 

“Hm?” 

“You can be my boyfriend again.” 

“Fuck yes!” It was rare to hear Peter curse. 

“Not yet though.” 

“Oh.” 

“I still have to ask!” 

“Ugh, well. Can you do it soon?” 

“You can do it right now, tiger.” 

He narrows his eyes, “No, I don’t think I will.” 

“Then you can’t complain.” 

“Like hell I can’t.” 

—-------------------------------------------------

You needed the right way to ask, you were full of ideas but you chose to go big with it. 

Not public, you know that would freak him out. 

But exciting and sentimental for both of you. 

You had been having fun though, the past few days you’ve teased him relentlessly watching him squirm. 

Last night you told him, “If you say this one thing to me I’ll make you my boyfriend right now,” His head whipped to yours, “Anything, what?” You try to hide your laugh but fail, “I want to fuck you right now.” His nose scrunched, “Not worth it.” Which ended with a gasp and, “Peter!” 

You don’t want to admit it but you’ve been losing sleep over this a little bit. 

At first you were thinking of a scavenger hunt, maybe around the apartment that would end in asking him, but then it would feel a little out of place, the prize at the end was you. 

Then you thought about taking him out to dinner and asking and while it was a nice idea, knowing how you and Peter are and the history you had, it felt a little formal. 

After the third day you had to ask someone who had been through this before, him. He asked you to be his girlfriend in such a cute way too. You both passed notes back and forth all class and they were usually filled with doodles, interesting facts, confessions of want like, ‘I can’t wait to kiss you after class,’ or ‘I miss your warm touch,’ until one day, Sandra, who sat between you two had gotten the note from the opposite table where Peter sat. 

You opened the folded paper, biting your lip to hold in the smile. Peering up you looked towards Peter who had a similar grin who then nodded at the paper in your hands, you carefully unfolded it to see a message, ‘Check yes or no: Will you be my girlfriend?’ Except the no wasn’t an option, the options were ‘yes, of course I want unlimited access to you’, and ‘no, I am choosing to deny Peter any more kisses’. 

Looking up at him you narrowed your eyes, then held your hand in front of the note so he couldn’t try and make out your scribbles, then rolled your lips in your mouth as you passed it back through Sandra, you didn’t miss the subtle shake of his hands. He was nervous to ask you despite how much he knew he made you feel. 

Peter held his breath opening it, you had crossed out his no option, and checked his yes so many times he couldn't see the blank behind the box. Under his no you wrote out, ‘as if there were any other option,’ he scrunched the note up and held it to his chest before stuffing it in the bottom zipper of his backpack, he looked your way and mouthed ‘Thank you,’ you turned your head at him, confusion clouding you, ‘For what?’ 

Peter just shook his head like you didn’t understand, ‘For being mine.’ 

You’ll never forget that. 

Now you looked at Peter tinkering with the DVD player that had suddenly stopped working, cross legged in front of the TV his shirt bunched as he moved forward straining the fabric. 

“Help.” 

His head turned around, “Help with what, baby?” 

“Me.” 

“What’s going on?” 

You pout and feel tears pricking, it was so dumb but Peter made you feel so special when he asked and nothing felt right to you, nothing felt like it made sense, was it supposed to? It was just a question, one you already had the answer to. But he made you feel wanted and important and you wanted to deliver the same back. 

“I don’t know how to ask you, I’m failing.” You rub at your eye to stop the tears. 

“No you’re not, baby. It took me a minute to ask you too, I just went with my gut, do the same.” 

You pouted and despite fighting, tears fell, “No tears, c’mon now. No tears, it’s just a question.” 

“But, but,” You start to breathe harshly, Peter comes to sit next to you and tugs you to him. 

“Slow it down, we’ve got all night. Think about what you want to say, no tears, okay?” 

“I just,” You sniffle, “You made me feel so special and important and I want to do the same but nothing sounds or feels right and I can’t copy you.” 

Peter presses a kiss to your head, “I promise I’m simple back, I don’t want this to stress you out even more but I don’t care how you ask at all. I just want you to ask.” 

“It can be simple and you won’t be upset?” 

“Psh, you make me the happiest guy alive. I don’t need anything else.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry it’s taking so long.” 

He rubs his cheek on the top of your head, “We have nothing but time, I’m not going anywhere and I’m hoping you aren’t either.” 

“Never, never ever again.” You lean into his chest and let him hold you for a moment. 

“Good. Now, I’m going to leave you so I can fix this thing and then we can cuddle on the couch okay?” 

“I love you.” 

Peter looks a bit confused because, of course he loves you too but he wasn’t even leaving your sight. In fact if you stretched your foot out you could probably kick his back. 

He realizes it wasn’t about a declaration of love, it was you telling him you were trying, and please don’t give up. 

“I loved you first and I always will,” He winked, and even though he didn’t need help and it would actually be harder with two people he still asked, because he wants you to feel important to him. 

“Actually, baby, can you come over here? I need you to get a cord for me.” He pointed behind the TV, he didn’t need the cord, but pretended he did just to watch your eyes light up and skip to the wall. 

“This one, Petey?” 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

You handed him the power cord, nothing would work now. 

Peter pretended to move things around then handed it back, “Plug it back in for me?” 

With your back turned he actually did what was needed to fix it, “Turn it on for me, please?” 

A click, then the DVD menu came to life, a loud cheer and hands jumped around his back. 

“We did it, Petey! Go team us!” 

“Go us!” He tapped your bottom and pushed you to the couch, “where you want me, champ?” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

You needed outside help, you had a plan and needed someone to help pull it off and normally it would be Peter but that would be like asking him to wrap his own birthday present. 

So, you went to the man in the chair, his best friend in the whole world (you were an extremely close second), Ned. 

“I need your help asking Peter to be my boyfriend.” 

Betty squealed and bounced up and down on Ned’s bed, sometimes you wish you had a mini Betty Brant on your shoulder to be your own personal cheerleader. When you questioned yourself or felt unsure Betty was always there to double down on confidence. 

Ned rubbed his chin and nodded slowly, “I see, I see.” If he had a cat in his lap he would be playing ‘The Grandfather,’ before he could even get another word in, his blonde girlfriend piped in, her smile swallowed her face, you couldn’t help but match it. Her joy was contagious. 

“So what are we thinking? A carriage ride in central park? Oo! Maybe some roses and a bottle of champagne? No, no, I know! An aquarium date, he loves the aquarium!” 

You grinned and tilted your head as you thought over her options, yours was better. 

“I was actually thinking of a virus.” 

“Like the flu?” Betty was confused. 

“Or like Monkeypox?” Ned was also confused. 

“Babe! That’s insensitive, that’s like a thing right now.” 

“Would Ebola be better?” 

“No! That’s deadly!” 

“So is the flu!” 

“Oh my god, I cancel myself. Take me off the air, I don’t deserve it.” 

You cross your arms in the air calling for a break, “I meant a computer virus.” 

Ned seemed taken aback, like giving Peter the flu would actually be the better option. 

“A computer virus?” He shared a look with Betty, “Your great idea is giving him a computer virus?” 

You rolled your eyes and tugged your laptop from your backpack, “Not him, me.” 

Ned looked at Betty again. 

“Stop doing that!” 

He turned his head back to you, “Sorry! I just thought when you said you needed my help you needed me to get Peter out of the house or distract him with something, not infect your computer.” 

Betty nodded in agreement. 

“A fake virus!” 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but how the hell will that make Peter be your boyfriend again?” 

You tapped your laptop against your forehead and breathed in deeply, “Well, Ned, if you would just let me explain!” 

He made a gesture of zipping his mouth and handing Betty the key, which she stuck in her pocket. 

“Okay, I have this idea. You put a fake virus on my computer, and I bring it to him and I’m all like, ‘Babe please help me I clicked on something I shouldn’t and now I’m hacked,’ and he’s gonna be like, ‘oh my god, I told you to stop clicking on the side ads’ and then when he tries to reverse it a pop up blocker appears and it says ‘Will you be my boyfriend?’” 

You blink at the couple and shake your shoulders, “Well?” 

“I think that is absolutely adorable! And so Peter, he’s gonna love it!” Betty beamed with confidence in the plan.

Ned looks to Betty, she pulls the imaginary key from her pocket and hands it back. Ned unzips his mouth, “Oh yeah, he would love that for sure. It’s gonna take me a minute though, if we’re trying to trick him it’s gotta be believable. If not, he's gonna have it figured out in a minute.” 

You pushed your computer at him, “What can we do?” 

Ned grabbed it and turned in his desk chair, he opened the screen and started to click around. 

“We can do nothing, I will do everything.” 

You pout, “I can help, Peter says I’m great at helping him.” 

Ned raises his brow, “Oh, is that what Peter said?” 

You gasp, “Why? Does he say I’m bad at helping?” 

Ned questions how he’s going to answer, “Uh, I mean, no?” 

You look at Betty and panic, “Am I bad at helping?” 

“No, not at all! You’re a great help, I’m glad I have you to support me when I need it!” 

Ah, that Betty Brant positivity. 

“Do you have any plans tonight, Y/N?” Ned shot over his shoulder, he was curious about his deadline, he also didn’t want to throw Peter under the bus. 

“Sleepover at Peter’s, nothing else, why?” 

“When do you need this done?” 

“Uh, when you can have it done, I guess. There really isn’t a time limit, just sometime this millennium.” 

Ned hissed through his teeth, “You drive a hard bargain.” 

You squint your eyes at him, he was being sarcastic and said you were a bad helper. You turn to Betty, she looks pleasant and waiting for your question. 

“Wanna get pizza? I’ll text MJ?” 

Betty hops up and wraps her scarf around her neck, she wraps her hands around Ned’s neck as he whines in protest and presses a fat kiss to his cheek, “Bye babe! Love you, I’ll bring you home a slice of hawaiian!” 

“And garlic knots!” His voice was muffled as you shut the door. 

—----------------------------------

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Get down, get down!” You whisper screamed at your friends, pulling a hand from MJ and Betty to get them to squat behind a concrete planter outside the pizza place. 

Betty freaks out immediately, ducking and covering her head with her hands, she starts whispering a prayer while MJ blinks at her hand in yours and shakes it out. She stands, sees Spider-Man looking at her from a building, then is pulled back down by your vice grip. 

“I said get down!” 

“Oh my god!” Betty cries.

“You’re safe Betty! Peter is across the street!” 

“Oh, okay!” She untucks herself, then circles back, “Wait, what?” 

“I told him I was in the district with my parents! He can’t see me here, he’s gonna know I lied!” 

Peter knows you lied, he doesn’t know why but he can literally see you behind the planter screaming at your friends. 

“I’m pretty sure he’s looking right at you,” MJ blinks at you then peers at Peter through a crack in the planters, he is. 

“Oh god, if he can see me, he can hear me.” You groan and look at Betty for help, she shrugs her shoulders. 

“Peter?” You whisper out, too scared to actually look at him. 

“You’re not him, you dolt. If he’s talking back you won’t hear him.” MJ was always the brain. 

“Oh shit. Uh, Peter, if you can hear me do something.” 

“It’s like you're trying to prove God exists.” Betty giggles. 

You hear the bell of a church across the street chime, double whammy. He hears and sees you. 

“Fuck, do I just get up? Pretend this didn’t happen?” You look at your friends for help then let out a scream when a hand touches your back. A guy your age is squatting behind you. 

“What are we hiding from?” He’s blonde and has a crooked front tooth, it fits him. 

“Who the fuck are you?” MJ was scared of no one. You commend her balls. 

“Jake, what’s up?” He reaches out a hand, MJ raises a lip at it and Betty and shakes it enthusiastically, “Betty Brant! That’s MJ and this is Y/N.” 

“Let’s maybe not tell strangers our name.” 

“Oh. Sorry, MJ.” 

“Y/N, you seem like the ringleader here, why are we hiding again?” 

You start to get nervous, it was obvious he was hitting on you and he was still touching you. 

“We’re hiding from my boyfriend, we’re playing a game and we can’t see each other.” 

Jake’s hand rises higher on your body, you notice MJ’s unwavering stare, ready to bite if you call for it. 

“Oh cool! Is it one of those race to win scavenger hunts?” 

“It’s uh, Betty is he still there?” Betty peaks her head around, “I don’t see him.” 

“Awesome!” You raise to stand, his hand floating down your back, brushing against your ass. 

“Hey!” You reach back and slap his hand, “The fuck? Did you just touch her ass?” MJ made sure to get the outside patio customers to look over. 

“It was an accident,” He raises his hands, Betty humphs at him. “That’s not very gentlemanly,” 

“Yeah, yeah. Where’s the ‘boyfriend’?” He used air quotes, you suddenly felt cornered. You don’t know where he went, probably got pissed you lied and swung away. 

“Right here,” Peter had appeared from nowhere, his collar buttoned all the way up, sleeves tucked into his thumbs, you knew the suit was underneath. 

“This guy?” Jake chuckled a little bit. 

“The last guy that said that was struggling to breathe,” You narrowed your eyes at the blonde and Peter rested a careful grip on your shoulder. 

“Okay! Let’s go.” Peter started to pull you down the street, you tucked under his arm closer and watched to the side to make sure MJ and Betty followed closely. 

Peter pulled all three of you into an alley, he looked at every face and gauged that everyone was okay. 

“Next time, we don’t worry about Peter seeing. We get away, okay?” 

MJ raised a hand, “I don’t care about you either way, I wasn’t the one that panicked.” 

Betty nods, “I’m sorry Y/N lied.” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry I lie- wait, what the fuck Betty!” 

She jumped, MJ muffled a laugh. 

“Oh what? You think he’s not gonna find out you lied to him, as you are literally getting caught in a lie?” 

Peter high fives Betty, “What she said.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell him?” 

You huffed, “Tell him what, Betty?” 

She tightened her scarf, “that you came over to, oh.” 

“Yeah, oh.” 

“Yeah, she couldn’t exactly tell him that, Bets.” MJ came to your defense. 

“Tell me what?” Peter looked between everyone. 

“Nothing!” All three of you rang out at once and refused to look at him, it screamed guilty. 

“Uh huh, right. I’m gonna go back to city watching, get home safe and you,” He pointed at you and made a come here motion, you looked at the ground and pouted, you felt like a scolded puppy. 

“Don’t worry about me, okay, just keep yourself safe. I’m glad you had your friends with you and I’m glad I was right there, but next time think for yourself, capisce?” 

You nod, “Capisce.” 

“Good, c’mere.” Peter leans in for a kiss, both of your friends make a puke sound. 

You pull away to leave with your friends and Peter pulls you back in, “Love you,” your face matched his grin, “liar.” You drop your grin and grumble, “Love you too.”

—-----------------------------

“Did it die?” You press the keys harder, they clack but the screen stays blank. 

“It has a virus.” Ned shrugs, you tap the keyboard sporadically, finally a small figure appears, it jumps up and down on the black screen then makes a laughing sound, ‘Files lost, loser!’ blinks at you. 

“It’s inoperable, Ned.” You whine at him and try to bypass it, it’s impossible. You begin to think he actually infected the technology. 

He rolls his eyes and bites into his pizza, “I told you it had to be hard, cause Peter would be able to crack it in a minute.” 

“Okay well, I need to actually use it in the meantime, any chance that can happen?” 

Ned holds his finger in the air working on chewing and swallowing his bite, he breaths in, lifts the pizza to his mouth, “No,” then takes another bite. 

You drop your mouth, “No?” 

“Nuh uh. Not until he cracks it.” 

Betty smiles and taps his shoulder, “So smart, Neddy!” 

“No, not ‘so smart, Neddy,’ I can’t do any school work, I need to write my history essay!” You groan and tuck your head into your hand. 

“Sorry,” Ned doesn’t seem sorry with his careless shrug. 

“Use Peter’s, or if you want I’m going into school early Monday so you can come with me.” Betty shines a smile at you and picks a piece of pineapple off Ned’s pizza, she dropped it in her mouth forgoing Ned’s open jaw, he was saving that piece for last, it had the perfect crust, ham and pineapple ratio. 

“It’s due Monday, Bets. I’m gonna have to ask Peter.” 

Ned swallows his last bite and begs for Betty’s water bottle, then smiles. 

“Good. That was the plan, wasn’t it?” 

“I mean, yeah. But also, like, now?” 

“No time like the present.” 

You huffed and stuffed the computer in your bag before zipping it, “Fine then, I’m going to Peter’s to use his.” 

“Or you can ask him to fix yours?” Betty suggested calmly. 

“I don’t even know how it looks! I’m not sure this is the best idea.” 

Ned raised his hand in the air, it was weird how easily it settled you. 

“He’s gonna crack in, then try and find the “corrupted file”,” He used air quotes, “Then a big pop up blocker is gonna take over the screen and it’s gonna say “Will you be my boyfriend?”” 

You stayed silent, it was adorable and you know Peter will love it. 

“And it won’t be instant, right?” 

“He’ll have to dig around for a minute or two, just enough to get him in the zone.” 

“You’re sure I can’t see it first?” 

Ned shakes his head slowly, “Sorry, if I go in now it will ruin it. It will take hours to reset it.” 

You nod, Betty notices you stalling. 

“You’re not nervous, right?” 

You shuffle your feet, “I dunno, maybe.” 

Ned guffaws, “What? Why the hell are you nervous?” 

You shug and look at Betty, “What if he says no?” 

Ned stands from his chair so quickly it spins, “Okay, look. I kept my mouth shut, I learned early that you never stand in between in a couple so I’ve been a good friend to both sides. And, Y/N, I say this with only love, but you are so so dumb. I mean, what kind of a question is that? ‘What if he says no?’ Do you understand what he’s been working towards this entire time? There is only one god damn reason he’s been doing everything he’s done these past months, you. You are the only thing that is keeping him going, he is living on the bare hope of you accepting his apology. I know Peter, if, and I mean if, it didn’t work out he would act fine to you but he would break inside, there would be nothing left to him. You’re all he has, Y/N.” 

Ned breathes in and out, “I have never seen love like you two, I have been trying to match up with Betty, to have what you have. And I get it now, I get how Peter can feel so helpless because I feel like that everytime I’m not around her.” 

Betty wraps her hands around his neck and snuggles into him, “Neddy, I love you so much! I don’t feel the same when you’re not around, it’s like I have a gaping hole in my chest.” 

You shudder, “Is this what it’s like when Peter and I are in the same room?” 

“Worse.” They both respond at the same time. 

You suck in a deep breath, “You’re right, Ned. I have nothing to worry about, he loves me and he’s gonna say yes.” 

Ned nods like you finally understood him, Betty smiles brightly, “You got this, Y/N!” 

You smile back at her, it’s impossible not to. 

“I love you guys, you know? If you ever repeat this I’ll deny it, but I felt lonely without you guys. After the break up, I mean.” 

“Hear that, Bets? She needs us.” 

“I did hear that, honey.” 

You raise a finger, “I did not say that.” 

Ned hums, “I think you did.” 

“I really didn’t.” 

“Close enough.” 

You sigh, “Yeah, yeah. I needed you for computer help, guy in the chair. Nothing more.” 

Betty gasps, “She admits it! She needs us!” 

A groan rips from you, “I’m going to my boyfriend's house.” 

“That’s right, girl! Manifest that shit!” 

You sling your bag over your shoulder, “I’ll see you later,” You head for the door and turn back one more to the couple, somehow cuddling closer. “Thanks again guys, I mean it.” 

Ned stage whispers to Betty, “She’s acting like she thanked us in the first place.” 

“Okay, that’s it. I’m only talking to MJ here on out.” 

—-------------

Peter’s door never seemed scarier, despite Ned, you were nervous. 

And, fair to him, you didn’t really know why. It was in the bag, you were basically dating already, just without the label. It just felt real now, all the emotions of the three month split ran through you at once. The pain, the hate, the dispare, the confusion, the hurt, the loss. It sucked and you never wanted to go through it again, ever. Not with Peter, not with anyone. 

You shake out your shoulders and suddenly a knock pierces the hallway. You don’t remember knocking, then a hand on your shoulder. You jump away and yelp, you turn to see Peter wide eyed. 

“You good?” 

Your heart races, “What are you doing out here?” 

His eyebrows furrow, “I live here, remember? I’m going inside, what about you? You’ve just been staring at the door for three minutes.” 

“I uh, you know.” 

Yet again, Peter doesn’t know. He pretends he does. 

“Right, right. You’re here to spill the beans on your lies.” 

“What lie? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Peter marks a finger against his palm, he’s tallying up a score. 

“One more to the list.” 

He’s joking, he’s not mad. He’s not even curious, you don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. You assume it’s good, it means he trusts you, even if you bent the truth. 

You push his hand down, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie.” 

Peter bounces the words in his head, “You just didn’t mean to get caught.” 

“Okay, maybe so. Doesn’t mean I’m not sorry.” 

The door opens in both your faces, May’s hair pushes back from the breeze, “Are you coming in or what?” 

You pull Peter by the fabric of his jacket through the door. 

“Are you fighting? No more fighting allowed in this house, you understand? I just restocked the strawberry ice cream.” 

You salute, “No arguing here, just light banter.” 

Peter giggles, “She’s lying, May. She’s been lying all day.” 

“Oh my god, shut up Peter! She’s gonna think you’re being serious.” 

Peter tilts his head, “Am I not?” 

“Okay, that’s it. Bedroom, now.” You start to stomp towards his room, May looks over at him and hisses through her teeth, “Looks like you’re in trouble.” 

“Why am I in trouble? She’s the liar.” He raised his voice at the end, making sure you heard him. 

You did. 

“Peter!” You yell out his name in warning, May wide eyes him. “Better get over there, it’s gonna get worse by the second.” 

Peter rolls his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. Boyfriend duties, she lies and it’s my fault.” 

“Peter, I swear to god I’m gonna kick your ass.” 

Your voice comes out muffled, ripping off your shirt you changed into one of his; pajama pants slipping on next. 

At last Peter comes in and shuts the door behind him, he raises his eyebrows at your shirt. He hasn’t seen you in his clothes in awhile, you said that was relationship stuff. He can’t help but imagine that means you’re in a relationship. 

“What’s going on with you?” 

You sigh, “How do I know it won’t happen again?” 

Peter’s confused, “What won’t happen again?” 

“Breaking up with me. How do I know that you won’t freak and end it if someone finds out who I am, or maybe five years from now things get tough with Spidey and you have to call it?” 

He blinks, “I don’t… I don’t know. It’s a shit reason but, I just know I won’t. I can’t promise you more than that, and I’m sorry. You’re gonna have to trust me, you have to trust me when I say I will never do that to you again.” 

“Okay.” You whisper out the words looking at his shoes. 

“Okay?” He cups your face, you look at him and smile. 

“Okay.” You nod in his hand and lean up for a kiss, “I trust you to never break my heart again.” 

“That’s a lot of pressure on a guy, you know?” 

“Mmm, I think you can handle it.” 

“I sure can.” 

He leans closer and looks in your eyes, “Is that it? That’s what’s got you worked up?” 

You lean away and groan, Ned’s words rang in your head. ‘No time like the present.’ You figure, ‘what’s one more lie?’ especially if it’s for the greater good. 

“No. I did something bad, you’re gonna be mad.” 

Pause, Peter is never mad. At least at you, he’s never gotten loud or stormy. He’s gotten annoyed and pissed but not mad. 

“Uh oh.” 

“Like super pissed.” 

“Wait, how pissed?” 

“Mega. Bar bathroom in Hell's Kitchen pissed.” 

“Oh geez. Lay it on me.” 

You look at your backpack, “It may be better if I show you.” You pulled it up by the handle, “Oh god, please don’t show me a dead animal.” 

“Is that your first thought? Really?” 

You unzip and pull your computer out, he groans, “did you put our sex tape on pornhub?” 

You whip your head to him fast, “We have a sex tape?” 

He shrugs, “We could.” 

You reach out your computer and turn your head away, “I can’t bear to look at it.” Peter looks at you unsure and grabs it, he sits on his bed and you follow him, you bounce down and he presses down on the side to steady it, his voice warning, “Y/N.” 

Peter opens your laptop and waits for the screen to wake up, when it doesn't he taps the trackpad. It stays black, “Baby, I promise I’m not being funny, but did you forget to charge it?” 

“Oh no, keep pressing around.” 

He looks at you and taps, it takes a minute or two but the preloaded screen pops up. The figure jumps up and down, the threat of corrupted files and name calling had Peter drop his jaw. He blinks at the screen, looks at your sheepish face then back at the screen, once more at you, then the judgment. 

“God damn it, Y/N. What the fuck did you do?” 

“I uh, you know.” 

Peter does know this time.

“I told you not to click on side ads! You’re worse than a ten year old with unsupervised internet access. I mean, seriously baby. I cannot believe I have to tell you this, but if an ad has a phone number attached or if doctors hate her, then for the love of god do not click it.” 

“I-” 

He kept going, “I told you I was going to install an adblocker but no, you swore you learned your lesson. And here we are, with a worse virus than before! I mean, this is gonna take all night! I may even have to get Ned in on it.” 

“No! Not Ned!” 

Peter looks at you with a side eye, “I mean it’s embarrassing. Like, I should know better, right?” 

“Yes. You should. But, here we are. Staring at the screen of death.” 

“Don’t say that, I have a history paper to write.” 

“The one I told you to start three days ago?” 

“Possibly.” 

“Alright, get your cute butt to my desk and start writing on mine.” 

“No!” 

He side eyes you again, “I mean, I want to see you do this. Because next time, I mean not next time because I won’t ever do that again, but maybe I can figure it out myself.” 

“You really need to start that paper, sweetheart.” 

You huff, “Ned said you think I’m bad at helping. Is that true?” 

His eyes widened, “When did he say that?” 

“Well, I said you thought I was a great help and he went, ‘Oh, is that what Peter said?’” 

“Oh, is that what Ned said?” 

“You’re deflecting!” 

“Ned doesn’t know what he’s talking about, baby. You’re an excellent help, you helped me with the DVD player, remember? And you helped me with my web shooters that one time.” 

He’s talking about you handing him tools when he asked, maybe you really weren't a great help. 

You feel upset. 

“You know what, maybe Ned can help me instead. Apparently I’m no good to you.” You reach for the computer and he leans to the left so you can’t grab it. 

“C’mon, no hostility. You’re a great help, even if you don’t think you are. I need you for moral support.” 

Now you were really upset, he admitted you were of no actual use. 

“Okay, you know what? I’m gonna go to the library and do this, I don’t need your help like you don’t need mine.” 

“Stop.” His tone made you actually stop, it made you pause and think that he actually does think you’re a great helper. 

“No, cause Ned is right. You do think I suck at helping you.” 

“I said stop.” He shakes his head and starts to press at what you believe are random keys, he’s actually just breaking back into the computer. 

“Peter!” 

“I’m not entertaining this any further, Y/N.” He sighs when his attempts are futile, he starts again. 

“Okay, deflecter.” You mumble under your breath, you know he hears you. He hears everything. 

“Don’t make me shut you up,” He mumbles back while tapping, he huffs this time, he tries once more. Ned wasn’t lying when he said he made this difficult. 

“No really, It’s fine. I’m just literally never gonna help you with anything ever again because you only ask to make me feel better.” 

Peter deflects once more, “See what I’m pressing? I’m holding these at the same time and when I let up you hit this one. It should be an entire system override, no matter the virus you should be able to get back into your screen. That way you can see how affected it got.” 

It worked, “This one?” 

“Yeah, hold these two and stop when I tell you to.” 

“Okay!” 

Peter is glad you can switch your attention on a dime flip, “Stop! Now hit this one, and if you’re luckier than me you should be able to break in.” 

You press it, and it works. You are met with your homescreen, you cheer. 

“See? I needed your help, you got the magic touch. Without you I’d still be nowhere.” 

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Parker.” 

“Is that the saying?” 

You shrug, “Close enough.” 

Peter holds control and R for a while, a popup block hits the screen. He then selects system preferences and enters into the computer bio. All you see is binary code, repeating zeros and ones in no clear order, at least to you. Peter is scanning through each code, his eyes running over every number. 

“You can read binary code?” 

He nods and keeps searching. 

“That is so hot.” 

“Thanks, baby.” 

You chew your lip, “Last time you used a scanner.” 

“That was a regular bug, this one is too deep in the system. It wouldn’t register with a malware scan.” 

Peter's eyes race through the screen, it would be deemed impossible to most human eyes but similar to reading text, you can spot the typo. Peter could spot the binary typo, it was just a matter of identifying it. The hardest part is that he doesn’t know what he’s looking for until he finds it. 

“Aha! Get out of here!” 

You watch with a held breath as he selects it then deletes. It is immediately returned to the system, Peter draws his head back and looks at you. 

“Where did you say you got this from?” 

“Uh, I’m not sure.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned closer at the screen, he’s making sure that what he’s seeing is correct. It was an extremely powerful virus, not a simple bug or keyboard hack but an entire system overhaul. He would be lucky to actually remove it, he’s never had a virus come back after being deleted. 

“Baby, this is a pretty hardcore virus. You’re not just going to pick it up off a google ad. What were you on?” 

“Maybe I was watching porn or something?” 

He looks at you, “Those are mostly penis enhancer pills, got anything to tell me about?” 

You push his arm, “No! I don’t know, maybe it was when I was exploring the dark web.” 

He scoffs, “You don’t know how to get to the dark web.” 

Peter is telling the truth, you have no idea how to get there. 

“Yes I do!” 

“Oh really? How?” 

You sputter, “Well, I can’t tell you because I don’t want you to get on there.” 

“Baby, I cracked into there when I was ten. Don’t try me.” 

“And I got there the same way.” 

“Through Google?” 

You nod, “Yup! Just googled it, Petey. It’s not hard.” 

“Oh see, now I know you’re lying. You can’t get on it from google, you need to download a VPN and TOR, then hack in or get invited through a link.” 

“And you did that at ten?” You were slightly doubting him. 

He stares at you blankly, “I can read binary code, Y/N.” 

You purse your lips, “Okay, true.” 

“Seriously, how did you get this thing?” 

Peter once again attempted to delete, it swung right back in. It was getting harder, it wasn’t going back to the same spot. It moved all around, he had to keep fighting to search for it. 

“And don’t lie, you’ve done that enough today.” He was teasing but warning. 

“I really don’t know, honest. I gave it to Ned to borrow, when I got it back I tried to do my paper, and I saw that.” It was slightly true, you did let Ned borrow it. 

“Ned put this on here? Why was he borrowing your laptop?” 

Fuck, he’s got you there. 

“Well, I gave it to Betty, actually. Then I guess Ned used it, and when he gave it back, bam! Virus.” 

“Ah, while you were out with her and MJ?” 

“Yes! Exactly!” Peter just helped you with a lie he didn’t know he was part of. 

Peter let out some soft swears, he was getting pissed. 

“Fuck off,” he whispered at the screen, the visual character popping up laughing calmed no anger. 

“What are you doing now?” You tried to peer at the screen, you were half watching him and the screen. You weren’t sure when the message would come through, you didn’t want to miss his reaction. 

“Trying and failing with my girl watching, not a great feeling.” Peter sat up straighter again and searched over and over for the code. Little did he know Ned thought this over extremely carefully, he implemented it in the system for it to change patterns and virus’ after three attempts. 

Peter is racing his eyes over each line over and over, he knows it’s not gone, but it’s gone from his eyesight, and that is worrisome. He genuinely doesn’t know how you, or Ned got it. Peter’s actually never seen something like this, heard of it but it’s rare. This is a deep, deep hack. 

He wants the pressure off him, he can feel your eyes burning into his back and it’s starting to make him anxious. He’s failing at helping, he hates that. 

“So, liar, any reason why you were spitting them out today?” He tossed the words over his shoulder, you pulled your back from the wall the bed’s pressed against, you tug at his elbow and whine, “Don’t call me that!” 

“Why? The guilt is too hard to handle?” He breathes heavily out his nose from his own joke. 

You push your cheek into his shoulder, words coming out muffled because one half of your face was squished into Peter’s body; your entire weight was leaned on him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not a liar.” 

“But you did today.” 

You nod against him, “I did today.” 

“Why’s that? You don’t have to hide your friends from me, I know you have ‘em.” 

You move your head to bite lightly at his bicep, he shakes you off, “menace.” He actually doesn’t mind it this time, it’s been a while since you did that. It used to annoy him at times but similar to your favorite nickname to use on him, he missed the things he used to think were a nuisance. He missed you doing those things. 

“I love you.” You kiss his arm and move back to leaning into him. 

“Looks like both of us are deflecting tonight,” He tsks and your cheek hardens when he flexes his bicep, he’s got his fist clenched in anger, he nearly slammed it down on the computer, he’s glad he restrained, you would probably never speak to him again if he broke it. 

“Break it and you die.” You warn him.

“Your heart, or the laptop?” He chides back. 

Your eyes narrow, “Yes.” 

He hits delete on the file for the fifth time, he holds his breath steady. It’s deleted, his air deflates from his lungs slowly, “Fuckin got it.” Peter cracks his knuckles and smiles proudly, you sit up quickly, Peter feels the cold air seep into the cotton of his shirt where you rested. Panic was smeared across your face, you were glad he couldn’t see your face. 

“Wait, what?” Your reaction had Peter throwing his head at yours, “Is that not what you wanted me to do?” You sound upset, you grab at the screen in his lap and shake it slightly, then slap your palm on the empty space next to the trackpad. “Woah!” Peter pulls it away from your hands, “What’s up with that?” You shake your head and try to pull at it again, “It shouldn’t of been that easy, it was supposed-” 

You were cut off. 

The screen flashed red, an angry face appeared on the screen, big bold black text followed.

‘TRY ONE MORE TIME, I DARE YOU.’ 

“What the fuck?” You both spoke and stared at the screen. 

It kept flashing, you had no idea what was going on. You were starting to believe you were actually hacked. 

“Peter, I don’t…” You trailed off and watched the flashing red. He thinks of what to say, he can get this figured out, he’s sure of it. 

“I think I know why this is happening,” He nods his head, he’s sure of it.

“Wait, you do?” You were excited but let down, you wanted him to see the surprise, not guess it.

“I think I do,” He draws out the words and looks at you. 

“Why is it happening, Peter?” You whisper the words. 

“Because,” He pauses and lowers his voice, a secret between you both. “Because, you lied.” 

You groan and throw yourself flat on your back, “Okay, okay, I get it. You’re joking but you’re also serious. I just,” 

“No fighting, right? Cookies? Good time for cookies?” May pushed through the door, a steaming plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies was held in front of your face. She also pushed a glass of strawberry milk in your hand, and you accepted it with a smile. You couldn’t help yourself and took a gulp, you were nervous. You didn’t want to lie about the lie, it was getting harder to cover. 

May was a third party, you could tell May. 

You handed the glass to Peter to set it on his nightstand, thinking about the condoms in the drawer made you smile, it was so innocent and dirty in one picture. 

“May, can we talk? Please?” She tilts her head at Peter, he shrugs. He doesn’t know either. 

“Of course, darling! Peter, take the cookies.” She handed them to Peter, he sat the plate down and then grabbed one to munch on. You stand and speak clearly for Peter, “Don’t listen in, seriously. Don’t.” 

“Got it,” The words muffled, he gave you a thumbs up. 

You nod and walk out with May, you turn back quickly. Peter’s hands working on the screen, “And don’t touch that until I come back.” 

“It’s no biggie, I’m sure I’m close.” 

“No! Don’t touch it, I’m serious Peter!” 

He looked confused but promised he wouldn’t. 

May had you backed into the hallway, you were hoping Peter was staying true to his word and not listening in. “What’s that about?” 

“I lied to Peter today.” 

“So I’ve heard.” 

“It’s for a good reason, but I can’t tell him that.” 

“Why not?” 

“It will ruin it.” You shake your head. 

“Ruin what?” 

“The surprise,” you whisper but know it’s useless if he’s actually listening. 

“What surprise?” 

“I had Ned put a fake virus on my laptop, and I said I was going to the district with my parents but then he saw me at lunch with MJ and Betty, and I can’t tell him why I lied cause it will ruin it all, and I don’t want to lie about lying.” You breathe it out in one go, May still looks lost. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. But, what will you ruin? I’m lost, dear. You said Ned put a fake virus on your computer?” 

You smile at her, she’s going to be more excited than Peter.

“I’m asking Peter to be my boyfriend tonight.” 

May’s scream was automatic, she hurried to put her hand over her mouth but Peter’s head popped out from the doorway anyways. “You okay?” 

“So okay! Oh my god, congratulations!” May wraps you in a tight hug and sways you back and forth, you giggle and squeeze her back. 

“Oh god, did you get a promotion?” Peter groans. 

“No, but you’re about to,” You wink at him and head back to his room, pushing him back in by a hand on his chest. 

“You swear you didn’t listen?” You look him over, he wouldn’t be able to contain the excitement if he did. 

He holds up three fingers, “Scouts honor.” 

“But, I did touch the computer.” 

“No!” 

“Don’t worry, I found it but I'll give you the honors of doing the final delete.” He grins and taps the seat next to him, you ready yourself and reach your arm over. 

You delete it.

A big pop up box appears. 

‘WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND?’ 

You hold your breath and blink at the screen, you wait for Peter to notice. 

“Huh?” Peter furrows his brow then closes out of it. 

He presses again, the same message. 

Peter humphs and closes it out again. 

‘WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND?’ 

It’s spelled out boldly, you know he sees it. 

He shakes his head and closes one more time. 

Your heart sinks, it didn’t work. You tried so hard to make it special, make it just right, something he would love, something he would understand immediately, and he’s not. He’s breezing right past it, something that’s literally in his face. You can’t help the tears that cloud your eyes, you watch as he closes it one, two, three more times. More and more frustrated with each time. 

You feel one tear fall, then two, then they start to stream. Peter doesn’t notice until you sniffle, he knows your cry sniffle. 

“Hey, no crying. It’ll be okay, I’ve almost got it figured out.” 

Peter reaches out a hand but you smack it away, “No, you don’t almost have it figured out.” 

“Baby, I promise I will. I’ve just never seen anything like it before, I mean, what kind of message is that?” 

You sob at his words, it was a total fail, you feel sick. 

“I’m just gonna take it back to Ned’s, he put it on there in the first place.” You were defeated and terribly sad, this is exactly why you didn’t want to do this. You rubbed your nose and reached for the tech, Peter raised his shoulder to block you. 

“What? No, you’re already here, just let me do it.” 

“You’re not doing it right!” You feel your chin wobble when the words tumble out, more tears running. 

“Baby, I’m trying, okay? I’ll get it back and it will be just like brand new. It’s just a dumb message, don’t freak.” 

Peter’s trying to be sweet and supportive, and it would work literally any other time. 

“It’s your message!” You almost shouted the words, your breathing became harsh. He thought it was dumb. 

“What do you mean it’s my-” He looked back at the screen and re read the words, he checked again. ‘WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND?’ He dropped his jaw, that's why you wanted to look over his shoulder so bad, and wanted him to wait before he kept digging. He assumes that’s why you lied, you were busy putting this together and he just shit all over it. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Peter’s never sounded more delicate.

You shake your head, it makes you cry worse. 

“C’mere,” He reaches for your hand but you shake your head again, he can’t take it back. It felt entirely ruined. 

“Baby, look at me.” His words were gentle but demanding, you look at him and pout. 

“You ruined it.” 

He nods solemnly, “I did. I know I did.” 

“This is why I didn’t want to do this, it was a stupid idea.” You sniffed and wiped away your tears. 

“Hey,” His tone was offended, it wasn’t stupid at all. He was.

“It’s not stupid, I was stupid. It went over my head, I wasn’t even thinking about it like that.” 

“First you think I’m bad at helping and now you think the way I asked you out was stupid. Maybe we shouldn’t get back together.” You didn’t mean it at all, you were hurt. 

Peter knows you’re acting like this because you're hurt, he’s learned that much from the split. 

“Come on now, you don’t mean that. You’re just upset I didn’t catch on, now c’mere.” 

You slowly waddle to stand in between his knees. Peter pulls at your hands and makes you look at him, “You are an excellent helper, I’m sorry I made you think you aren’t. You never complain, even when I get cranky things aren’t going my way. You do whatever I need you to do and you do it happily, even when you just sit next to me, it makes me work better, because you’re watching me and I want to impress you. I need you as my little helper, I always will.” 

You nod and grab one hand in both of yours, you slowly turn it, playing with his fingers and tracing his watch. He’s made you shy, it’s a good thing. 

“Second, it wasn’t stupid. It’s a really smart, sweet way of asking me. I just wasn’t thinking of it like that, Ned played it off so good I really thought it was a wonky virus. That’s why I said it was stupid, not because I don’t like it. I love it, I really do. It’s a geeky way to ask me, and that’s why it’s perfect.” 

You mumbled back to him, you pressed the button on the side of his watch and watched it transform into a webshooter. You lightly pressed at the circular tab, a web hit his ceiling. He acted like it never happened, “You still ruined it.” 

Peter nods, he agrees to the fullest extent, “I did.” 

You press again, another web shoots out. 

“I tried really hard.” 

Peter smiles sadly, “I know you did, I’m sorry I didn’t react how I should’ve.” 

You press the button on the side, it retracts back to a watch. You press and watch it transform again, you do it one more. 

Peter grabs your hand when you try again, “Look at me?” 

You oblige. 

“I would really, really love to be your boyfriend, if you’ll still let me.” 

You shrug nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal. You untuck the corner of your bottom lip you were chewing on, “If you wanna.” He pulled you on his lap, pushing the computer off to his side. 

“Of course I wanna, I've only been begging for months.” He pushes you in to hold you tightly against him, you feel your chests move in unison, one breath in, one breath out. You keep yourself pressed to him for a minute, no words were needed. 

You huff into his shoulder and think about it, you push yourself away from him by your arms on his shoulders. 

“Petey?” 

“Yes?” 

You breathe in deep, “Will you be my boyfriend?” 

“What are the terms and conditions?” 

“Love me forever and ever, and never break up with me again. Cause if you do, you'll have to pay for my therapy.” 

Peter throws his head back in a laugh, “Deal.” 

“Deal?” 

“Yes, I would love to be yours, again. And forever and ever.” 

You both look at eachother with a smile, until he pulls you in closely. 

“I wanna ask you something,” You look impressed. 

“Me? Little old me?” You make a motion of flipping your hair back. 

“Can I kiss my girlfriend?” 

You nod quickly, and fuck what you’ve said before. No kiss has ever felt this good between you two, it was home. You finally felt at total peace, he was yours and you were his. It was the way it was supposed to be. 

Breathless you open your eyes, “You’ve been waiting on that one, huh?” 

He can’t help himself, he pulls back in, “You have no idea.” 

—------------------

THREE MONTHS LATER,

“Peter I swear to god if you’re not here in the next five minutes I’m sending out a bolo on Spider-Man.” Your words were threatening on the phone, Peter winces on the other line and dodges a fist. 

“Baby, I promise I’m on the way.” 

You hear grunting and silence, you start to steam. 

“Please tell me you’re not fighting someone right now.” 

Peter stays silent, you hear a whizzing sound. 

“If you tell me that you were late because you had to stop and fight crime I am gonna be so pissed.” 

“I’m not fighting anyone, I’m almost there.” 

“Lies!” 

“I’m not! I was fighting with someone but I’m not anymore, I’ll see you in like thirty seconds.” 

“They’re about to call you up, I’m not kidding.” 

You hear him swing faster, “I know, I know, did you leave the gown where I told you?” 

“What you should’ve done, is gone with me, like we planned, remember?” Your tone was clipped.

“I remember, did you leave it there?” 

“But no, you had to go on your own. I knew this would happen, but no, don’t listen to me. It’s fine, I only told you that you would do this, and what did you say?” You were barking orders from behind a tree, you had to resituate the cap on your head, it started to slant down. 

“I said I wouldn’t stop, but I’m about to be there. Did you leave it?” He was running out of breath, he can’t remember the last time he swung this fast. 

“And this wouldn’t be an issue if you let me around Spidey, but nope, lost that privilege. So now I can’t even make sure you’re on time, I just have to trust you and now you’re late.” 

A grunt on the line, he landed. 

“Baby, where did you put it? It’s not here.” Panic, he was going to be late. He didn’t know who would chew him out more, you or May. You, he could win back over with a date night and a few kisses, May would just shake her head every time he would try to explain it to her. 

Peter knows your right, he shouldn’t have stopped for that guy. It was supposed to be a quick in and out, he didn’t expect you to be on his ass but he should’ve. 

“Are you even dressed right? You have your slacks and button down on, right? Please tell me you brought shoes, I swear to god if I see those red boots under your gown I’ll scream.” 

“Yes! Yes! I’m dressed right, where the fuck did you put it, Y/N!” 

“No cause you wouldn’t be talking to me if you did, I know you’re talking through Karen!” 

He sighs, he sees you tucked it behind an exhaust pipe. 

“I’m talking to you through Karen so you can tell me where my gown is, but I found it.” He pulls it over his long sleeve and zips it up. He’s about to jump down when he pulls his mask off and drops it on the roof. 

“And another thing! If I’m doing you a favor and going out of my way to make sure you’re taken care of, the least you could do is show up on time! I mean I-” The buzz of the phone makes you notice he ended the call before you could give him the last piece of your mind. 

You stare at your phone, insulted he would hang up on you. You huff and shove it in your pocket, “fucking prick!” You mumble insults under your breath, “Hey, no need for hostility. I’m on time, see?” 

“Late to your own graduation, Parker! Who does that?” 

You spin to face Peter who shugs sheepishly, “I said I was sorry, I’m here and my name hasn’t been called yet. It’s all good, now where’s my cap?” 

You huff and pull it from under your arm, Peter leans down so you can secure it tightly. You fix the tassel in a straight line and smile at him, he looks down right adorable in his graduation blue. 

“You look cute, I need to see more of you in ambiguously shaped clothing.” He winked and you scoffed, “Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Mr. Parker.” 

“You said it gets me everywhere.” 

“Yeah, well, not today!” 

You both follow the line, due to alphabetical order you won’t be sitting next to each other. 

He pulls your arm and you step out of line, you flash an apology smile to the guy behind you. He nods his head, your spot is saved. 

“Hey, one more kiss? While we're both in high school?” 

“I guess so,” You sigh and lean up for one. 

“You know, you’re my highschool sweetheart.” 

“I guess that means you’re mine too, Parker.” 

“You made it the best four years, I mean it.” 

You squirm, “Don’t get all mushy, you’ll make me cry.” 

Peter’s name is announced as Valedictorian, he has to go to the stage. He presses one more kiss, “I’ll be the one cheering the loudest when your name is called, I love you.” 

“I love you too, handsome.” 

After the graduation you both took pictures, some with parents, alone, friends such as MJ, Betty and Ned, even flash made an appearance in a group photo. You then trekked into senior send off dinner, where the entire class got together for one last shared meal, never again would you see those faces in a cafeteria. 

Peter sat by you the whole night with a hand on your thigh, even though it was just hours after your high school career ended it gave you a sense for the future, Peter would always be by your side and he would always be the smartest in the room, you noted and loved the way he would be able to share a conversation with anyone he passes by, he’s perfected the craft of knowing a little of something about everything. 

You ended the night at Peter’s, May had baked a cake with a fat congrats roped across the top, she kissed both of your heads and wiped tears with a “I’m so damn proud of the both of you,” before she left for the night. 

Now, you had both unzipped from the gowns and you watched them lay puddled on the ground, there was no need to hang them anymore, their purpose fulfilled. You sat your diploma next to his on his desk, Peter undid the buttons on his sleeves and rolled them up carefully. You watched with heavy eyes. 

“I’ve been working on something,” He drawls, he tugs at his button down and you melt inside. 

“What?” 

“Lay back,” He points at his pillows, you make a confused face. 

“What for?” You listen and lay back, Peter comes to stand over you. 

“I’m gonna fuck you.” The words came thick from his throat, something tells you you won’t be hearing that often. 

“Oh my god, this is the best graduation gift I’ve ever gotten.” 

“Is it really?” He’s on the bed hovering over you, he’s looking at you like he’s about to fucking devour you. 

You nod, “Tell me one more time?” 

He leans in, he kisses you for a minute. He trails his marks down your neck and collarbone, he kisses back up into your ear and whispers, “I said, I’m gonna fuck you.” 

“I am so glad you dumped me, you have no idea.” 

He looks puzzled for a moment, “Me too. We’re gonna build it better this time around.” 

You nod and tuck your bottom teeth into your lip, “Yeah, we’re gonna build it better.”

[yandere-fics]

♡ How They Take Their Darling's Virginity ♡

♡ Miriel is never going to notice what you want unless you outright say it to her. Sure you guys could be making out and doing everything but sex every single day and night but she won't think to escalate it until you ask her to take it further. The first time you ask regardless of being a virgin or not she breaks into happy tears and starts rushing around to get candles and fancy wines and chocolates to make it very special. If you tell her it's your first time ever, she's going to shut down for a few hours as she thinks about what she needs to do to make it extremely special for you. ♡

♡ She books a very nice hotel for your first time with her, you'll get couples massages and she'll get a hot tub in the suite as well to make sure you're completely untensed because she would literally jump over the railing if she heard you cry in pain while you're making love for the first time. She doesn't last very long that first time but she makes up for it with so much foreplay beforehand. ♡

♡ It depends on the activity you're doing with her on your first time, I imagine you probably don't go straight to pegging with her though if you do good for you. She tried really hard to stay on top with she's inside you for the first time because she wants to please you really bad but her legs collapse very quickly since this is also her first time

♡ I imagine she thinks of it as a one and done situation the first time, not that she didn't love it but she feels like you already made her this happy how she can expect you to do that for her again so the next time you do initiate she's going to cry again because it means she gets to experience this love all over again. It's a great delight to her. She really couldn't be happier, he life is so great.(except for the times you're being a meanie to her but she'll pretend those didn't happen.) ♡

♡ Eliza surprisingly does not bring it up first, sure she knows couples do that but she was happy with the dry humping and making out so you telling her you want to do more with her is just so exciting. Excuse her she has to go shift and run around in circles for a couple hours, maybe take down a deer for dinner and bring it back to cook it for you since you can't do it on an empty stomach. She doesn't really seem to grasp the whole virginity aspect, of course you're one, who would you have slept with before her? That's just so silly to think about. ♡

♡ You'll want to make out with her a lot building up to it and just do a significant amount of foreplay and maybe suck her dick a bit before you do it so that way she lasts a bit longer though really no matter what you're doing she's gone the moment she slips in. Like mentioned before though she's going to try to stuff your face before you have sex because she doesn't want you to get too tired, you need the energy for what she wants to do. ♡

♡ She's going to want to knot on the first time but since she's so excited the knot lasts much longer than it should normally since she just can't stop being hard but since she's so excited she wants to keep going so she's still going to rock her knot back and forth inside, be careful not to squirm cause her knot might pop out since it's thinner and then she'd let out a loud whimper like you literally kicked her. Also be warned she might pull out completely and try to hide from you because she cums instantly when she first slips in, luckily she gets hard again likely instantly but you'll want to prevent her from pulling out and soother her. ♡

♡ She's so annoying after you do it, her tail is constantly wagging and she's all over you, making you eat excessively for the baby. When you explain you probably won't get pregnant just from that one time she's going to be on you again for another round and if you tell her you're on birth control she'll act like you kicked her and ask if you can just get off it, will sulk until you tell that that just means she can cum inside as much as she wants with no issues, she still would prefer her cum actually do something but she'll take what she can get! ♡

♡ She's extremely tense before you tell her that you want her to take your virginity, she tries to avoid coming off as pushy but she's just very bothered you've made out and even moved in with her and you sleep next to each other but you haven't had this conversation yet. She doesn't want to bring it up and break her facade because she knows if she starts the conversation you'll be able to see how angry she is about this but she was about to break. She knows virginity is important to people but she's your girlfriend so shouldn't you trust her, she's only hurt you on accident occasionally damnit! Anyways when you finally give her the green light she has to fight not to have a huge smug smile on her face.

♡ She's going to push on as many boundaries as she can once she gets you into bed but first she needs to wine and dine you so you'll give in when she pushes you past your limits, beyond that she does really enjoy spoiling you and she wants a very good memory of this night as you finally becoming her good obedient mate who allows her to spoil you, now hopefully you'll stay that way and allow her to take the lead fully tonight or she might get a bit mad. ♡

♡ She doesn't go edging tonight, edging doesn't have as much as an effect if you don't first get to know the overwhelming pleasure she can give you when you're good. It doesn't matter if you start squirming or even say the safeword(she let you have it but never planned on responding to it), you're walking out of there boneless, she using one of her smallest straps on you first but if she thinks you're not making enough noise for her she'll up the size while fingering you just to keep you warmed up for her while she switches it out. ♡

♡ She's less patient afterwards because you two have finally been together in all ways which means any brattiness or things that cause her jealousy far less tolerated. She's still going to try to keep the act up and she's going to be spoiling you so much from now on but when you don't just instantly accept her gifts because they feel like too much, she'll dig her claws into you a little bit and grit her teeth as she urges you to just go on and accept it. ♡

♡ Nikki is the first to bring it up, every time she forced you to nap with her and you struggle to sleep sex is her first suggestion, it makes logical sense, she hears it can make humans sleepy and it's very easy for the both of you to do as mates so why do you not readily accept her suggestion. She's just not grasping virginity as a concept really cause why would you ever sleep with someone who isn't your mate, that sounds highly efficient since only a mate could know your body best and anything less than that is pointless. ♡

♡ When you finally do give in you're going to have to get ready for a long nap because she is taking you down with her. Not a whole lot of prepwork until you explain that you need it and even then it's just very lazy on the whole, you may want to make sure you buy lubes and stuff before you tell her you want to have sex because she is not prepared in the slightest. ♡

♡ She's very tender despite how lazy this all seems, she did look up just a little bit like how kissing you as she fingers you might help and you can somewhat tell she's enjoying this though she's enjoying it far much more than you can see, she's just not showing it enough. It's just fingering for that first time since she hasn't really looked up any other ways and even if you explain to her she'll want to go basic just to test and see if the orgasm does make you any sleepier or not, spoiler alert it makes you very fucking tired. ♡

♡ After you do it for the first time you'll realize every time you're going to nap her hands are down your pants in order to help you fall into a deeper sleep with her. She also just seems a lot less tense in general and a lot more confused when this experience doesn't automatically make you begin to listen to her and only want to be around her. ♡

♡ You would think she finds you repelling with the way she reacts with you first ask her to take your virginity but really she is just so turned on that she needs to walk around a bit so she can find it in her to be gentle with you. She wants to tie you up so badly, oh god she wants it so much but this is your first time, she can't make it her weird thing, and then when she thinks about the whole virginity aspect of it she feels like her mind might explode. She never really thought about it before but it's all just hitting her that no other bastard can have this, it's all for her, her reason for live with only ever know her touch and that is doing wild things to her. ♡

♡ She probably stops pacing hours later and dives on you enthusiastically because while she is worried she's going to show a bad side of herself, she also would hate herself if she missed out on this wonderful opportunity to be with her reason to live just because she couldn't force herself to be normal. She'll just have to brute force herself to be completely normal about this. ♡

♡ All of that goes out the window the moment you're about to do the do and she starts panting in your ear begging for you to allow her to tie you up, just please this is very important but she's worried she's going to fuck it up if you aren't tied up, tying you up with alleviate her stress, if you don't allow it though that's fine, she's just very shaky the whole time.

♡ After you do it you often catch her mumbling to herself, likely about how happy you've made her and how she's even more determined to not allow anyone to come in between this happiness, including herself, she wants to be an extra perfect girlfriend for you since you've shown her this. She also just keeps staring at you hoping you'll initiate again sometime soon. She's too shy to initiate until you've done it at least 5 times. ♡

♡ Runa acts so smug when you first bring it up as if she has not been fondling you daily and humping against you at night as you sleep. You literally caught her with the handle of her knife up her pussy the other day moaning your name but now she's acting like you're the freak for wanting to bang her and now she's not going to let you back out, you said it, you might as well follow through with it since you want to fuck a freak like her that badly, hehe. ♡

♡ There's a lot of prep work that she has to do, the blades have to be perfectly polished and sharp, if you're allowing her to use them on you the first time, if you're not she will be just a bit sad but she'll put up with it as long as you let it happen next time. She'll love if you sit down next to her as she prepares and ask her to explain everything's she's doing, she really wants to explain why she has to do all the things she's doing and why the sharpness of the knife is very important to make sure she cuts exactly where she needs to without accidentally cutting too deep because she had to use extra force due to it being dull or it being unsmooth and her cutting an area that she's not supposed to because it slips. ♡

♡ She's very aggressive in taking the lead that first time, sure she'll let you take the lead on occasion however this time she has to be the one to take the lead, that way she can act like she knows more than you and embarrass you about being a virgin even though you know she would have gone crazy if she found out you weren't a virgin and then she would have fucked you in front of whoever you had previously had sex with. ♡

♡ Afterwards she's going to be fondling you like crazy every single day now that she knows you want her that much(even though it's very obvious she probably wants you more.) but she won't initiate again, she'll just suggest and if you say no she'll pout and keep fondling you but any sign of you potentially wanting it again and she will jump at the chance. Even hesitation or thinking about it will be taken as a yes so if you don't want to then you need to be firmer about it. ♡

♡ Sawyer was ready even before she introduced herself to you, she's like a guy carrying a condom around in his wallet just in case but instead of a condom she has reservations constantly at the ready and in case you don't want to wait for her to spoil you first then there's always a crap ton of lube hidden literally everywhere she frequents because her mate might have been a supernatural who wants to jump her bones immediately. That does change when she discovers you're a virgin though because while she does want to just jump straight into it, now she knows she can't and so she'll have to put all those ideas on pause, even if you do want to jump straight into sex, how could she allow your first time ever to not be memorable. ♡

♡ She doesn't take you to a hotel unlike Miriel, she just gets the penthouse set up very complexly while you're out at a very nice dinner with her, a dinner that has several aphrodisiac foods on the menu just in case you want it to soothe your nerves or ready your body. She wants it to happen in the penthouse so the penthouse is associated with a good memory and she does so much foreplay, you'd be bored if this was anyone else but even with the foreplay and not getting to the point she's still completely blowing your mind so you can forgive her. ♡

♡ She's worried to penetrate you for the first time, she might even suggest she use a smaller toy on you for tonight until you're used to bigger sizes and can finally take her but ultimately she gives into your insistence and just goes straight for it. She has to clutched the bedsheets next to you hard to stop herself from cumming too quickly this first time but once she gets settled and gets into the rhythm of things cumming too quickly is less of a threat now. She wouldn't dare ask to knot the first time but if you ask she won't think twice about doing it. She can't look a gift horse in the mouth can she? ♡

♡ She's very happy afterwards, everyone is scared at work because usually when she's happy it means she has trapped a leader into a heavy debt and this is the happiest they have ever seen her so she must have trapped someone big in her debt, luckily this is resolved when she asks all the supernaturals in the office what is the ideal gift to get your mate after you've mated for the first time. She gets a necklace in every gem and every gem color to ensure you have one for all of the occasions in your lives together. ♡

[highonakuweeds]

Random Hazbin Men Headcanons

I couldn't help myself.

ALASTOR

He does have a tail, yes; that’s the reason why his coat is super flared out. It’s a wonder people haven’t seen it yet.

Well, it’s either the fact no one has seen it or he just brutally murders those who have already seen it

It doesn’t wag when he’s happy, though; he’s not a dog. Or rather, he can control it when he’s happy since it’s always slow. When he’s panicking or stressed, however, that’s a different story

It is sensitive. Please do not pull on it because it’s still connected to his spine and that shit hurts. Curling your finger along its fur seems to be okay, though

Ears are more sensitive than his tail. Because of their fluffy nature, just grazing a fingertip near the inside of his ears make them twitch.

Yes, it tickles.

He would never admit the fact that scratching the base of them feels more relieving than it should.

Actually had curly/wavy-ish hair when he was alive, and was devastated when he realized Hell permanently straightened his hair. He was grateful his hair maintained its volume, though

VOX

Most probably knows how to cook and clean and do all of that housework bullshit because of Vel and Val. They would never shut up about the fact that he couldn’t do that before

Is genuinely really good at baking. One of his guilty pleasures

Would spoil the people he feels close to (i.e., Vel, Val, and when they were still in contact, Alastor)

Knows deep down that he will never actually beat Alastor, but forces himself to believe otherwise because why would he give the stupid deer demon that satisfaction???

Despite the fact the man is literally all about modern technology bs, he barely knows what goes on in the less political/economic side of media. He only knows some things because of Vel and Val

Whether it be on purpose or not, like half of his mannerisms stem from looking up at Alastor before.

Genuinely loves electric swing and jazz just like Al (it was a coincidence), but since people associate those two genres with the Radio demon, he pretends to hate it and adore dubstep

He loves dubstep, too; he just hated the fact he had to like it because he didn’t want to be associated with Al (even if he made a whole song about him)

Would rather wear quiet luxury than extravagant clothing but he loves seeing people’s faces when they gawk at the amount of expensive shit he has

SIR PENTIOUS

Filthy rich. Unironically. HE BOUGHT A WHOLE CRATE FULL OF CARMILLA’S WEAPONS; ISN’T THAT SHIT EXPENSIVE???

One of his hobbies is doodling, and is actually really good at it

When he was alive, he probably had the most luscious, silk, gorgeous hair you’d ever seen. But then he probably had to cut it all off

Crawled on the ground for the first couple of months since his drop into Hell bc he couldn’t figure out his tail

He could make the most intimidating and dangerous machine in just a couple minutes but would struggle with a rubix cube. 

VAL

Drawing, I’m pretty sure, is a canon hobby of his so I just imagine him studying Vox’s face and body to understand his weird ass proportions

You already know what his horny ass was thinking when he tried studying Vox’s lower body

Almost fried his brain trying to understand Vox’s TV screen

Usually his anatomy is incorrect with his shitty eyesight

Loves bold luxury

[oh-hell-help-me]

Day 10: Fangs

Luigi had a hard time with sleep.

It’s not that he can’t sleep, but…

Every time he sleeps, he dreams of… something dark. Something that almost seems alive but empty, feeling it gently envelop him and he just…

Sinks.

He wakes up gasping for air, heart pounding against his rib cage like a jackhammer, and he doesn’t know why.

(And after… after, his scar would throb too.)

Three weeks into his job as an Ambassador, that fact hasn’t changed.

Except…

Bowser has taken his new ‘task’ seriously, and Luigi was worried about falling asleep on him!

It didn’t help that the Koopa was so warm and safe (and that Luigi is so utterly doomed with Bowser)!

Regardless, his efforts were in vain, and -in the middle of a meeting- he dropped off into a catnap, cheek pressed against warm scales as he slept.

Then he woke up. Just, normally?

Sure, the large claw poking his cheek was annoying, but if felt like a fair trade off.

“Come on, string bean. Wake up.”

And then he opened his eyes.

Fangs.

Large, sharp fangs, barely two inches from his face.

Had he been scared, he would have flinched, or jumped, or yelled- something he could brush off as him being him!

Instead, Luigi sleepily reached up and stroked them with the same amount of self-preservation one has petting a cat’s belly.

He freezes.

Bowser’s staring. At HIM! With an indescribable look that nearly has him squirming.

This is worse.

This is so, SO much worse!

He wants the earth to swallow him whole.

AND WHY HASN’T BOWSER SAID ANYTHING?

…. Why hasn’t he said anything yet?

Braving the possibility of dying from embarrassment (and why is his hand still there?), Luigi drags his gaze back to Bowser’s red eyes.

...

He still doesn’t know what the Koopa is feeling, but at least he doesn’t seem angry?

Staring into his eyes was a bit like sinking into that dreamed blackness, but more... comforting? Maybe intense? Definitely something more- something that made Luigi forget to breathe-

…He, um, thinks he shocked him.

Bowser was aware that Luigi was as stubborn as he was sweet.

He knew that it meant that he was a wonderful friend, being dead set on learning whatever Bowser was willing to tell about himself.

He also knew that it meant that anything that made the human curious was met with zero self-preservation (seriously, how did the red menace keep him alive this long?).

So why couldn't he shake off this moment?

Why…?

Why did he like it so much?

Those were his teeth, his FANGS, one of the most deadliest parts of himself!

He couldn’t feel anything with them, and it’s not like there was a taboo of touching them (not like a tail, or neck-)! So why-?

He should start by closing his mouth, but with the human's hand still very much there-

Oh, right.

Bowser carefully leans away from the touch, almost feeling a sense of disappointment relief as Luigi seems to snap out of it with a yelp.

He does, however, take offense when Luigi tries to squirm out his grip, needlessly apologizing in rapid-fire words he can barely make out.

"Ah-ah-ah! You're not getting out from your sentence, Greenie!" He hooks a single hand around the human, careful to curl his thumb behind Luigi's head in fear of his claws. "I know I'm handsome, but I didn't realize you're into m-my teeth as well!"

No. The Koopa King did NOT stutter!

Still, Luigi's mortification is palpable in the way he turned fully red, blue eyes looking anywhere BUT the Koopa as his hands fiddled with each other.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I h-hadn't realized I was- sorry..."

Bowser frowned.

He hasn't heard Luigi stutter since... that library day, now that he thinks of it, and he honestly hadn't realized the significance of Luigi stuttering at all in his presence.

He finds that he doesn't like it.

"Doesn't matter." He'll.. deal with these thoughts later. First and foremost: "Now come on, we're going to be late for lunch!"

And no, Bowser didn't need to wake Luigi up to take him to the dining hall, but he did want to see Luigi's never-changing awe as they went inside. And he can't see that if the human is asleep now, can he?

"L-lunch?" He could feel the human shift in his grip as he turns his attention to opening the Meeting Room doors. "MAMA MIA! I SLEPT THAT LONG!?"

He couldn't help but snort. "You conked out during the boring bits. Trust me, you weren't missing much."

A glance towards the pouting human nearly has him snicker. "But that was rude! I was rude!" Luigi hung his head. "Ooohh. How am I supposed to face that Ambassador now?"

Something in Bowser's chest warmed, and he was barely aware of his expression when he replies "They gave you a break, Luigi."

The former(?) plumber peaks up at him. "But I-"

"Don't tell me that you haven't been 'doing as much'! You've been heading negotiations since day one!" Bowser is pretty sure that half of the petty arguments made by both him and the ambassadors would have been... messy if not for Luigi's interventions. "And don't dare tell me that you haven't been staying up late either!"

THAT gets the human to shut his mouth with a snap, looking away once more.

Even if Bowser wasn't as awesomely observant as he is, the other Ambassadors were nosey enough to inquire about Luigi's activities.

That is, the human had taken upon himself the task to not only study the Kingdom's history (which is required for all diplomats), but he has also taken the time to study Koopa inventions, methodologies, projects, and even past mechanical failures that could be used for The Plan.

More often than not, Bowser was 'babysitting' him at the library too, but ended up asleep at his favorite armchair after each visit. Stars know how long Luigi slept...

"So don't worry your pretty head about it!" As he opens the door, he barely catches a glimpse of surprise on Luigi's face before he started to take in the Dining Hall once more.

Bowser tries not to think about what he just said.