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#stressing bc his fucking dad is in the hospital
sga-owns-my-soul · 1 year
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ignore this but i need to fucking vent bc i'm in tears in a fucking university and i really need to just. fucking.
my friends asked me to come rock climbing and i said maybe, and then said i wouldn't go bc i'm exhausted and have to be up early for work, and they said we could do something else after they go rock climbing, so i was like ok fine i guess we can go for a drink. and i was gonna meet them at the restaurant but they said they'd come pick me up first and then they BRING ME
TO THE FUCKING ROCK WALL
THAT I CANT EVEN WAIT INSIDE WITHOUT PAYING ADMISSION
so now i'm sitting alone in the hallway of a random fucking university with tears in my eyes bc my friends decided to fuck all our plans over last minute and NOT FUCKING TELL ME and now i'm over an hour and a half away from home and i'm so fucking miserable and mad and upset and i just. wanna scream
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astridthevalkyrie · 8 months
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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skipping class for the first time in my life bc my professor has covid and he sent out an email saying we’re having class and he’s asymptomatic and will wear a mask per cdc guidelines even tho he’s past the 5 day required isolation period. like. great whatevs but have you actually tested negative
update: the answer was no he had not
#stressed as FUCK#it’s fine we have a textbook and he doesn’t take roll#hoping he doesn’t do an extra credit activity but if i miss it for the sake of my health so be it#i have to go home afterwards anyway bc i have an appointment the next day with my thyroid dr#stressed abt that too bc my mum has dropped all precautions as if she isn’t in her 60s and didn’t lose her husband to covid#and idk what my sibling is doing but i know they’ve stopped masking at their practices and i wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped masking#all together. they also only wear cloth masks but at least it was something#idk i just feel like im the only one not ignoring it. like. when my dad got sick i asked him early on if he could smell and he was like#‘I’m just congested’ and my mum was like ‘no he’s just sick it’s not covid’ and then we waited until it was too late#like. i tell my mum that there’s nothing we could have done bc i don’t want her to feel guilty but like#idk. part of me thinks that if people had just listened to me and gotten him tested earlier and not lived in denial that maybe he’d still be#here. and my mum is pretty healthy but again she’s in her 60s. i don’t want to lose another parent to covid. or if she gets it and has it#bad or ends up with long covid then im gonna have to come home to take care of her or. idek. like i don’t live at home anymore so i can’t#pick up the slack if something happens to her. and my sibling definitely can’t#it’s so stressful. did we not watch the same process of my dad rapidly deteriorating. by the time we took him to the hospital he looked like#a corpse. he was completely grey and his eyes were glazed and he couldn’t even sit up or wave goodbye. has she just forgotten that happened#am i the only one who remembers watching my dad deteriorate in front of us#vent tw#covid tw
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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Day whatever it is recap!
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#📸#I think it’s day five maybe#also I’m at my brothers school for the last time ever :/#probs the last time I’ll ever step into a college dorm again tbh#and I got one last shower in the dorm bathroom which is always good bc if I’m seeing my brother chances are I’ve at very least spent three#hours in a car to get to him#so a shower is nice especially bc I was like panic attack sweaty. tmi? maybe.#I didn’t really do a lot today#at least not postable stuff#a lot of hanging out with family and Millie and being tired and kind of miserable but also daydreaming about any other shit in my life#idk. it all feels weird rn. all of it. and my brain is nagging me saying you’re being/doing x y z for attention even when I’m not telling#anyone shit im doing or thinking or anything and my brain is still like nah. you’re jealous of your brother graduating and not being home#at the end of dads life and at the same time you feel stressed and guilty and feel bad about him not getting closure#but at the same time you just wish you didn’t see his fucking body on the ventilator and all the IVs and the bloat and the popped blood#vessels and the nurses and doctors and knowing they did cpr so much if he even survived he would be miserable and have broken ribs#fuck. I want to be home and alone and crying about this all by myself alone. I hate this I hate this I hate this I want to go smoke a cig#but this is a no smoking campus ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I am miserable and this is supposed to be this big fun#thing for my brother and I feel selfish and stupid for having feelings and letting myself get upset about my dad but my fucking mother#made some sign to put in an empty chair for my dad and she brought his jacket he wore all the time and I started crying when I saw and then#immediately after we had to go see his parents and my grandfather is falling apart and reminds me of my dad in the hospital and I’m just so#miserable and between horrible thoughts and self harm and everything I’m keeping to myself I am just thinking about how this is so bitter#sweet for my brother like he’s graduating with his friends and then moving away from them all to a place where it’s just all about dad being#dead and he doesn’t like Florida really and he’s gotta start his grown up life (technically he has two more classes online and he’s getting#a blank diploma tomorrow but yeah. things are rough and my body hurts and stress is so bad for me and my chronic pain and I feel like I went#from the most relaxed and comfortable and happy I’ve been in a year to feeling like hell on earth and I feel like I’m bringing down every#one else’s mood but like hello why are we pretending any of this normal thid can’t be real this can’t be real this can’t be real I don’t#want this to be reak I want it to be fake it has to be fake please please please wake up tomorrow and have it be a year ago please#I miss my father and I hate myself and violent thoughts are taking over my mind and I hate it all but things were so good literally up until#I saw my mom and grandparents#my brother was so nice when it was just us too (and later I just mean before mom got here specifically he was still nice to me)
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smolsaltypan · 3 months
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#mmmm sometimes i understand why my mom was suicidal after 26 years with this asshole i would be too#just out of fucking nowhere tonight he's ranting at me about every fucking thing under the sun in any way that could make me feel bad#oh youre on your period? you were actively fighting off a seizure bc you were worried about your brother who never had tremors and was#seizing all day? well i had to watch him!#lazy bitch you didnt cook or feed me 🤬 sir you had cereal bc thats what you asked for#and no i didnt cook fuck off#oh we dont have a new fridge or mattress? thats because when i tried to get you out to go you said nah another day#fuck right off he's fully looking for reasons to fight and be mean to me#i might cry alone in my room but all he'll achieve is putting himself in the hospital with his anger#im glad my mom is free from this#wish i could be but i dont want to have to fucking die to not have to deal with this#i just want a dad who can act like an adult#not throw a tantrum and abuse me after an already stressful day#so what if i had fun going to a kbbq restauraunt after my doctor's appt without him. i was with cousins.#cant do shit withiut him pitching a fit#hes also salty bc i wont let him go to my doctor's appointments with me#im 23 almost 24 and literally paid to be your caregiver what fuckjng makes you think i want you there#if i wanted moral support i wouldnt have been going to doctors alone since it was legal#caught myself thinking uh. about wanting to be dead while he ranted at me for 20mins#this all started bc i havent boight the dogs flea meds yet. its not even time to give it to them. but i walked past him to piss and said#stop bringing it up dont bitch at me day after day after day about stupid small shit im gonna get done anyway#and he took that as a challenge
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erythristicbones · 1 year
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angustully · 2 years
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cheegu3 · 1 year
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Enhypen - the glory (part 6)
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summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name
warnings; yandere themes, bullying, swearing, blood, fight, poor ass attempt at manipulation, mentions of wounds, mentions of non-con kissing,
genre; yandere
wc; 5k
pairing; enha x f.m reader
note; I think the definition of the word impulsive is me bc I added a damn plottwist last minute just to stress ppl out 💀 pls note that the boys aren't featured much in this, not my best chapter it's a bit of a messy filler chapter but I hope you can see my vision for the next ones ?? also y/n girly is doing a bit of a 180, good for her !!
masterlist
After a long night of hanging out, talking and just watching the movie, Soobin kindly dropped you off at your house as promised. With a head full of thoughts, it distracted you so much that you didn’t see where you were going; causing you to bump into a chest when you were near the entrance to the apartment building.
‘’ Sorry, ‘’ he grunted.
You were about to respond, but when your head snapped up as you were apologising profusely you swear your heart skipped a beat.
‘’ Jake? ‘’
He smiled and tried to go in for a hug. When he was pushed away hard on his chest and it caused him to stumble he scowled at you.
‘’ Why the fuck are you here? ‘’
‘’ Just…hung out with your dad. ‘’
The amused tone in his voice enraged you. In seconds your fists grabbed onto his collar and trying to intimidate him, tugged him towards you. 
‘’ Y/n? ‘’
Your burning eyes softened. Searching for the owner of yet another familiar voice, it soon landed on the entrance where you poor dad stood, looking confused and slightly embarrassed.
He gave you a stern look before marching over, pulling your hands away with great force and standing in between you and Jake so he could bow his head.
‘’ I’m so, so sorry. I- she’s not usually like this. ‘’
A crooked smile slowly crept on your bully’s face, only you could see the disingenuity behind it.
‘’ I know. We’re usually very close, we just had a small disagreement.‘’
‘’ Dad! He’s not my friend, he’s the one that has been bullying me. ‘’ you said exasperatedly, hoping to get through to your dad with those words.
‘’ This guy? ‘’ 
It was almost laughable how hard Jake was putting on a show, blinking his enlarged puppy eyes at your dad while his lips had an offended pout on it. What a shame he was so fucking good at it.
‘’ Yes, I know that he looks…’’ you grimaced, ‘’ Innocent and sweet but he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he- he has kissed me before, without my consent. ‘’
You ignored the way he lit up at your compliment and he seemed to really struggle to not show it while your dad was still watching him, the only sign was the corner of his lips tugging upwards for a split second.
With your dad’s back turned to you there was no way for you to tell if your dad believed your words. But you could sense that there must’ve been some hint of acceptance there because Jake panicked, hurrying to speak before you or your dad did.
‘’ Sir, I’ve been really worried about y/n recently. With her mother in the hospital, she’s been kind of off…’’ you mouth hung open at the scene unfolding in front of you, he really wasn’t giving up.
‘’ She has been confusing me with her actual bully, Soobin who transfered not that long ago, along with this girl. ‘’ he gestured towards your arms, feigning a distraught look. ‘’ They did that to her. They left her in pain and with those scars. ‘’
He pretended to choke up, sighing and looking away from the audience.
‘’ And it breaks my heart that she doesn’t recognize m- ‘’
A cry broke from your lips as Jake was cut off mid sentence. A fist had swung and hit him right in the nose, and when he raised his head you could see blood trickling from it.
‘’ Dad! ‘’ you gasped, both impressed and pleasantly surprised.
Like the crybaby he was, he took a few steps back and then crouched down, pressing his hands to his dripping nose while glaring at you two. Your smile faded when your eyes met, he was even angrier than the last time you swore that was the angriest he’d ever looked. His hands were shaking and he was breathing heavily. You swallowed thickly. What would this mean for your dad? Would he try to get revenge on him too now?
‘’ Let’s go, y/n. ‘’
Your dad dragged you away by the arm, continuing to do so despite your protests and attempts to get out of his grasp. Knowing Jake well enough by now, you knew that if you comforted him and apologized, maybe even hugged and kissed him - then, he maybe wouldn’t hit back. But your dad didn’t even let you try this time, leaving you with a horrible sense of dread at the pit of your stomach as you ascended the stairs.
‘’ You should get in before he comes back. ‘’
You followed your dad into the apartment. Your two distinct moods were pretty apparent to one another. He looked worried and at the same time determined, not an ounce of regret present on his face; you on the other hand, kept your head down, a different kind of worry gnawed on the inside causing you to sit on the couch with a somewhat dead look in your eyes.
You sitting there and staring straight ahead for a very long time made your dad come over, a growing concern having taken ahold of him.
‘’ Hey, y/n? ‘’
You almost had to tear your eyes away from the wall you’d been staring at.
‘’ I’m sorry about that. I hope I didn’t cause any more troubles for you at school, ‘’ he hesitated, ‘’ Did I? ‘’
Robotically your head shook no, although your true feelings were quite different. Knowing he couldn’t do anything to help you anyway, there was no need for him to know anything, right? He’d just worry even more, and he had too many things on his plate as it was already.
‘’ Okay, good good. ‘’ he mumbled, appearing to be stuck in his own head too.
In an attempt to lighten the mood and get you both to think of something else, your dad reached out for the TV-remote and put on a show that faded into the background for you.
‘’ I need to go do homework. ‘’
Your dad nodded but couldn’t help but look after you as you left, a look full with somberness. Well inside the room, you walked over to the wall with the post-it notes. It looked as empty as it had been last time you wrote anything on it.
Now you had more info. Walking over to the desk, you scribbled some words down and hung it up next to the others. Then you moved that one and added seven more notes, all with their names, figuring it would be better to separate the things you knew by person.
Under Jay you added the note that read - dad is the mayor of Seoul. Sunghoon, Sunoo and Jungwon were the only ones except for Jay that had a note, and that irritated you. Sunoo’s read - gave information in the past, someone we can use? While Sunghoon and Jungwon’s said - has my number.
A heavy sigh sounded in the room as you scanned over the other names. Heeseung, nothing yet. Jake, nothing, Ni-ki…Ni-ki? You hurried to the table. With a new note in your hand, you almost ran to the wall eagerly and added the information you got from Sunoo regarding his childhood, adding the same under Sunoo’s. 
The fact was that you knew more about those two than the others. While staring at Sunoo’s name you hoped to yourself that it’d be as easy to get more information out of him as the first time. Maybe giving some clues about the other guys so Soobin wouldn’t have to work as hard.
Once you realised you couldn’t really add anything to the wall for now, you finally sat down at the desk to catch up on all the schoolwork you had neglected the past week. The phone that laid nearby was a powerful distraction to the math you tried very hard to get immersed in. You kept glancing at it, hands clenching the pen in your hand in anxiety at the possibility of them texting you since they could unfortunately do that now.
Almost as if you’d manifested it, the phone pinged after about the tenth time you peeked at it. It was impossible to miss, in the darkened room it lit up and the display shone at you brightly. 
A quick breath was released before you dared to pick it up. Both disappointment and relief filled you instead as the notification was just from an app. The radio silence from the guys felt a bit unnerving. Had he even told them? What were they talking about? Were they angry, would they text- no, you had to stop letting your mind wander. There was no point in trying to somehow read their minds through telepathy, it would only serve to increase the worry.
You looked at the neglected homework and reluctantly pushed it away once again, opting instead for a good night’s rest.
*******
The next day was Sunday. Normally you’d go to weekend-school to do some extra work but after last night’s run in with Jake, you decided to do what Soobin had told you to do, stay at home. 
8:17 am
You: Soobin? I thought about what you said and I won’t come to the academy today. Do you think you’ll be okay on your own?
Cousin: I’m glad you trusted me :) 
Cousin: I will be okay. Maybe I could try to get closer to them today?
You: Yeah. I kinda expect them to since I’m not there. They might ask about me, especially since,
You: Well…
He didn’t reply right away so you exited the messages and instead went to email. During last night, Soobin suggested that you could hire a private investigator. He emailed a suggested official website where you could easily get all kinds of people willing to help with anything, and he even offered to pay for you.
Soobin had said that his dad used it in the past, when trying to find proof of infedelity in his marriage so he’d seen first-hand how it worked. They never asked too many questions or reported anything since they had their own interests. The one he chose was a corrupted cop, working on the side for extra pocket-money. In the end, he proved to be a good choice as he did find proof and the divorce was finalized. 
You scrolled down the long list of names, thumb stopping and hovering over one in particular - Choi Hyuntae, Kim Doyun, Park Chaewoo, Kang Siwoo, Lee Seoyun, Yang Yena…
With swift fingers you clicked to message the person. The probability of you choosing her was low, but curiosity lead you astray for a moment.
8:20 am
You: Yena? Why are you on this website? / from, y/n
A whole minute passed before you got a response.
Unknown number: Y/n? Wtf are you doing here?
You: Answer me first
Unknown number: I recently passed the exam. I’m a cop now.
You: And you’re already corrupt…
Unknown number: Just trying to survive like everyone else. Your turn to answer.
You: I was looking for someone to help me with the situation at school.
You hesitated before giving the truth. But it wouldn’t be the biggest deal if she told Jungwon, you hadn’t even done anything yet and if they confronted you, you could always make them think you had no power to do anything anyway. Your scars hadn’t itched in a few hours, maybe if they did you’d be reminded of the pain and shy away from just jumping into action.
Unknown number: You mean my brother and his friends?
You: Yeah.
Unknown number: I could help you with that. I hate him and have always wanted to take him down. I guess this is fate, huh?
You: Why do you hate him though? Except for his personality ofc.
Unknown number: I was always second best, in school, in looks, in talents and personality etc. Jungwon has dreams of becoming a singer, I guess they found his dream a lot better than mine too. Besides, they only wanted sons anyway.
You: Sorry to hear that. I guess I could give you a chance, but I don’t trust you yet so don’t expect too much.
Unknown: I won’t
You: If you have a car, we can meetup tonight at 9pm in that abandoned parking lot by the beach, the one a bunch of highschoolers used to drive to when they ditched school.
You: Do you know it?
Unknown: I think so. See you there!
It was a bit reckless to decide to meet up just like that, without even consulting with Soobin. Him being away left you feeling bored and restless. You wanted very badly to make moves as well, but you couldn’t go to the academy. Finally he did eventually answer, redirecting your attention elsewhere.
8:22 am
Cousin: Well what???
You: I did something stupid. Jake was in my apartment while I was at your house. I told dad that he bullied me and he punched him.
Cousin: WHAT? Y/n!
You: Sorry…Can you deal with the mess tho?
Cousin: I can try :/ 
Cousin: I’ll keep in touch during the day. Why the fuck was he there though?
While reading the texts from Soobin, your smile faded away. You realized you had never asked your dad about it. Surely there was a reason right?
‘’ Dad? ‘’
‘’ In the kitchen, honey! ‘’
You ran there. 
‘’ Did Jake say why he was here yesterday? ‘’
The typing on the computer stopped for a few seconds. A low hum came from his throat as he rubbed his beard.
‘’ He did…I think- yeah, he said it was because you got injured during P.E and missed out on the last lesson. So he wanted to give you the notes. ‘’
‘’ Did you not question it? I haven’t told you I have any friends. ‘’
‘’ You know your school is on the way to my office. I look through the gates sometimes. ‘’ he shrugged.
‘’ Did you see me? ‘’
‘’ Many times. After school, I saw you once with some guy but I could only see the back. ‘’
‘’ Soobin. ‘’ you mumbled to yourself.
‘’ I got the wrong guy? ‘’
You hummed. ‘’ Seems so. 
‘’ Can you blame me? I saw that same guy be surrounded by a bunch of guys before that, could’ve all been twins to an old man like me. ‘’
His voice slowly dimmed in the background of the new stream of thoughts inside your head. Wait, was he talking about Soobin? With a bunch of guys…
‘’ If you ask me, everyone looks the sa- ‘’
‘’ Dad! Do you think at least one of the guys could’ve been Jake? ‘’ you interrupted.
He was caught off guard by your rapid question and took a bit to recollect his thoughts.
‘’ Possibly. ‘’
Shit. Why was Soobin with them? You felt a bitter taste take place in your mouth. The phone in the backpocket of your jeans was fished up as you contemplated texting him and asking him head on. But that seed of mistrust you always had inside, stopped you from doing so.
It had gotten watered again after having been kept away the more Soobin got you to trust him. Now it was growing, like it had never stopped. Was he two-timing you? You squeezed your hands around your phone, to the point your arm started shaking.
‘’ Honey, are you alright? ‘’
You snapped back and gasped when you realized what you were doing. With an awkward laugh you nodded and smiled, hurrying next to leave quickly so you could lock yourself up in your room.
Had Jake been in your room? You tried to take your mind off of Soobin by ravaging through your stuff to see if there was any trace of him. Then, a deeply unsettling thought popped into your head. In seconds you were at the drawers, pulling them out and throwing things around.
Oh no, that fucking pervert! You counted your underwear over and over. No matter how many times you did so, it didn’t add up - something was missing. Boiling with rage you took out your phone and without thinking, you called Sunghoon.
He picked up on the fifth dial, sounding brash even from the get-go.
‘’ Hey, sweetheart. ‘’
‘’ Sunghoon! Put Jake on the phone, now! ‘’ you yelled.
He didn’t question it or joke around more, probably hearing the anger radiating in your voice. A small laugh slipped out before muffled sounds followed and Jake finally was put on the phone.
‘’ Jake? ‘’
‘’ Yeah? ‘’
‘’ What the fuck did you do in my room? ‘’
The line went quiet, but you heard a few snickers in the background. If he had put it on speaker for everyone to hear, it would solely serve to make you even angrier. You weren’t even sure where all this newfound confidence and boldness came from, or if you’d regret it soon enough. Now all that mattered was your anger, and only that.
‘’ I- uh…what do you mean? ‘’
‘’ Don’t you dare try to play dumb! ‘’ you screamed.
Jake chuckled. ‘’ I don’t have to tell you anything after what you did to me. ‘’
‘’ You deserved so much worse than that. ‘’
He hummed.
‘’ Maybe. But thank you babe, I’ll have fun tonight. ‘’
You screamed in frustration again which doubled when you heard they hung up. You couldn't even retaliate or cuss them out. Falling back onto the soft cushion on the bed, you stared up at the ceiling, almost struggling to breathe properly.
The phone pinged.
8:21 am
Cousin: I’m here. What do you want me to do?
Glaring at the screen, you couldn’t help but feel angry at Soobin even though it wasn’t his fault this time either. For some reason you kept imagining that he was probably looking at his phone while the guys over his shoulder all laughed, calling you all sorts of names and coming up with more plans on how to torture you further.
But another part of you came to the conclusion that you’d have to confront him and talk about it like an adult, because it could still be a misunderstanding; you didn’t want to give more life to the seed of doubt and falsely lash out on him again.
You huffed, but replied for now as if you were completely oblivious about what your dad had told you. Likely, you’d talk to him about it later. But it would be even better if he could get you proof that it was all a misunderstanding without you telling him. Your reasoning for this was that if it was one and you had confronted him, it would probably break his heart that you got suspicious of him again. Problem was, you had no idea how he could give you proof without you mentioning any of that. 
After some pondering, laying on the bed and letting the silence make brainstorming happen, you settled on the first somewhat decent idea you came up with, voice notes. It could potentially mean you could hear in the others’ voices if they were acting or not.
But god, you hoped with every fiber in you that Soobin was still someone you could trust and that he was in no way affiliated with your abusers.
8:24 am
You: Could you voice record the whole thing?
Cousin: Sure!
And now you just had to wait.
*******
The time you spent in the car wasn’t very pleasant. Most of the day was spent finally being able to get into the zone long enough to finish your schoolwork. Soobin had texted about five minutes before you left to go meet Yena, saying that he had the recording and that he wanted to listen to it together. 
You told him you were meeting Jungwon’s sister, which quite expectedly made him freak out a little. He was probably on his way now and you hoped he wouldn’t jeopardize the meetup.
A white honda pulled into the parking lot a few minutes past 9pm. It went round in circles near the entrance a few times. Then the driver seemed to spot your car as it slowly started making its way over.
When it reversed into the empty square next to you, you craned your neck to see the person behind the wheel. You breathed out in relief upon seeing it was Yena like you had thought. For some reason, you always felt like they were watching you and half expected one of them to pull up, either instead of Yena or behind her.
Now that you knew that wasn’t the case, you unlocked the car and gestured for her to get into the front seat of your car. Getting out in the parking lot didn’t seem as safe or discreet, especially in case they did follow her here.
She got in and immediately reeked of pure business. No unnecessary politeness or small talk, just straight into it, ‘’ What do you want me to do? ‘’
Your eyes widened. ‘’ Not even a hi or how are you? ‘’
She just stared at you blankly and you had to look away, getting an awful sense of déjà-vu under her unsettling and very familiar gaze.
‘’ I’m still a cop working full-time, ‘’ she paused, looking a bit more relaxed. ‘’ Sorry, I just always seem to have my hands full. ‘’
‘’ Tough cases lately? ‘’
Yena nodded, looking quite gloomy all of a sudden. But you didn’t press further, agreeing it was best for the both of you to get right into it. You dug in your backpack and taking out a bulky camera, you handed it to her. She started turning it and inspecting it until you had managed to lay out all the equipment on the dashboard.
‘’ It’s not the best. Just an old camera my dad has used in the past, only one I could find. ‘’
She put the camera to her eye and started twisting the lens, playing around with the abilities of it. ‘’ It works just fine. You don’t need anything too expensive. ‘’
‘’ Okay, that’s good to hear. ‘’
‘’ So what do you need me to do? Follow that little asshole and his friends around and take pictures of them? ‘’
‘’ Yeah, pretty much. ‘’
‘’ That’s…kinda creepy, I like it. Anything else? ‘’ a small grin spread on her ruby lips.
‘’ Anything that seems relevant. Like their families- ‘’ you paused and licked your lips, watching her reaction closely, but her expression remained unchanged. ‘’ Things I can use against them. ‘’
‘’ You’re getting revenge. ‘’
‘’ Yeah. ‘’
She laughed loudly.
‘’ And you have no choice but to trust me or? ‘’
‘’ I don’t know. I could’ve picked someone else on that website. I guess a familiar face feels more comfortable. ‘’
‘’ I’m his sister though. If I were you I wouldn’t trust people that easily, even though I am telling the truth. ‘’
‘’ I don’t, and that has been a problem in the past. I need to be a bit more open to people. Let’s say you did tell him, ‘’ you imagined yourself in that scenario, thinking about what you’d truthfully most likely do. 
‘’ What can he do? I mean I can run away, move schools or…something. It’s not like I’ve done much anyway. Or I can pretend I’m in love with them and super regretful about what I tried to do. ‘’
She looked amused and you could see why. The anger from Jake escalating things and getting into your personal space like that had made you be a lot more impulsive. You felt like you didn’t have much time. As if there was some kind of timebomb to something, but you didn’t know what.
All you knew was that it wasn’t completely crazy to think and feel the way you did. They had started closing the circle around you. Meeting outside of school, getting your number, visiting your mom in the hospital, and then going to your apartment to take your things. What would they do next?
There was a feeling that if you didn’t make a move now, however hasty and reckless, you’d never get the chance to even try. You weren’t sure if that was weird paranoia making you try to predict the future or a good intuition knowing what storm was heading towards you.
‘’ They’re probably worse than you think, sweetheart. But okay, I’ll try my best and hopefully the hard work I put in and all the material I will give you, will make you trust me. ‘’
‘’ I don’t have to trust you. I have nothing to lose. ‘’
Yena raised her eyebrows.
‘’ Yes you do. ‘’
You bit your lips guilitly, knowing she was right. But the one who has nothing to lose, is the one who is more likely to win. Fake it till you make it.
‘’ When can you get me the first pictures? ‘’ you attempted to change the subject.
‘’ On Wednesday. Try not to die before then, I heard Jungwon talking about you with them today. ‘’
‘’ What? What did they say? ‘’
‘’ They all came over after the academy. I didn’t hear much except for your name and Jake, those were said a lot. ‘’ she shrugged. 
You hummed. ‘’ Okay, I’ll try not to. See you then, same time and same place? ‘’
‘’ Sure thing. ‘’
She left and you got your phone out to call Soobin. You had noticed a car parking a few spaces away from you, only too far away for the driver to be visible. Just as the phone was picked up, you could see movement in that other car.
‘’ Hello? ‘’
‘’ Are you here? ‘’
‘’ How did you know? ‘’ he gasped dramatically.
‘’ You weren’t very discreet,  ‘’ you sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips.
‘’ Sit in my car so we can talk. ‘’
‘’ It’s kinda cooler like this though, on the phone. It’s like we’re secret agents. ‘’
‘’ Soobin! ‘’
‘’ Sorry, sorry! I’m coming. ‘’
You shook your head at the sight of him getting out of the car you thought he was in. He looked very funny while running over, hunched over and trying to look in all directions when running which caused him to almost stumble several times.
‘’ Hey. ‘’ 
‘’ Hi. Hurry. ‘’
You locked the door when he was in. The immediate silence after the car door closing made it echo felt a bit awkward, but he looked as happy as ever to see you. That’s when you remembered what your dad had said that same morning.
Soobin noticed the way a scowl slowly crept up on the friendly face you first wore when he got in. He felt a bit self-conscious, thinking that he did something wrong.
‘’ Are you…okay? ‘’
‘’ My dad told me something very interesting about you today. ‘’
He gulped, almost feeling like he wanted to press himself against the door so he could get away from your angry self.
‘’ He said that he saw you with my bullies. ‘’
Soobin went quiet.
‘’ Soobin? ‘’
His face grew pale as he struggled to speak. ‘’ I-I, no! It’s not what you think, y/n! ‘’
‘’ Then tell me. ‘’
He tried reaching out for your hands, expecting you to withdraw them and was surprised when you didn’t. You let him hold you if it helped alleviate some of his sudden anxiety so he could tell you the truth.
‘’ I…went to go talk to them to tell them to leave you alone. ‘’
‘’ What? ‘’
He looked very ashamed.
‘’ It was after the first day, when you showed me your scars. We barley knew each other then, but I- I shouldn’t have, I know. ‘’
You almost felt too stunned to speak. All the questions you wanted to ask didn’t want to come out smoothly and you weren’t even sure what to feel. Were you still angry or suspicious of him or - did you feel a bit grateful?
‘’ I did it quickly while waiting for you after school. Remember, you went to the bathroom? They walked right past me and I couldn’t stop myself. I guess they didn’t want you to hear, so I was practically dragged or pushed out to the front of the school. ‘’
‘’ What did they say? ‘’ you asked after he answered your first question.
‘’ Threatened me. Said they knew who my dad was and that Jay could get my dad fired. ‘’
‘’ Why didn’t you tell me this? ‘’ 
Your groan of frustration was so loud it made Soobin jump. He looked at you, his doe eyes begging for mercy almost as if you were a hunter and was about to take his life. Maybe there was some truth to that, you had the small urge to shake some sense into him and also quite literally choke him in anger.
The plan had quite literally fallen into pieces, the plan that was just made. Now you had to come up with a new one quickly.
‘’ They knew we’ve been friends since the fucking beginning, you sat there with me to come up with a plan and immediately agreed to what I said! ‘’
‘’ I thought I could somehow pull it off and still be useful even if they knew. I would just…find a way, ‘’ he trailed off.
His head had started to hang in shame now, too embarrassed and guilty to look at you. Without doing so, it was still pretty obvious how you were feeling on the inside. He’d likely feel the same if he were you which meant he was well aware that this wasn’t a good look for him at all.
‘’ If you don’t want to be friends anymore, I get it okay- I just, I want to help you. I can promise you that. ‘’
You scoffed.
‘’ It would’ve been a lot better if you were just honest from the beginning. I wouldn’t have cared about your mistake. ‘’ not even giving him a chance to respond, you continued, ‘’ But I guess I have no choice now. For all I know I have two backstabbers by my side, so who cares? ‘’
Soobin sensed the bitterness in your words. He hoped that despite whatever was going on would be solved soon and hoped even more that you hadn’t given up. It was stupid not to tell you, he admitted that. For some reason he was confident it would never get brought up; at the same time, he was happy it did right now and not later when the bullies could’ve used that lie to turn you against him.
‘’ I hope I can earn your trust back. ‘’
You didn’t say anything. His explanation made sense, no matter how angry you were, especially when Yeonjun’s words echoed inside your head. It seemed to be perfectly in character for him. So just before he stepped out of the car, looking very sad, you smiled at him.
His eyes grew twice in size, but he didn’t get to say anything because you gestured for him to get out, not that he’d have the right words anyway. He stood there dumbfounded, staring after your car even as you left.
‘’ What’s wrong? ‘’
His eyes hadn’t widened due to your smile, but something standing in the shadows.
‘’ Y/n…’’ 
‘’ What’s wrong? ‘’
Terror flashed across his face, and he choked out breathlessly,
‘’ He’s watching me. ‘’
-
-
(tell me if you've changed ur user bc I could've just tagged some poor locals LMAO)
taglist; @peaceout97blog-blog, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly, @espyluvsyou, @yncel, @loserwithnofriends, @enha-stan, @binchanluvrr, @ariek-divad, @obsessed1with1straykids
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moonspirit · 1 month
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Why yall making armin wake up in those aus?? What if he actually dies💀 like
Shes 24 weeks pregnant and everything is nice they bought the crib and the milk bottles and everything and one day armin gets out for like a quick meeting for a new law or sm like 1-2 hours and hes back home. -
after like 2 hours and a half someone calls annie and its the hospita saying that armin had a car accident in his way back home(change the topic a little☺️), so
everyone ruches to the hospital and all and the doctors tells annie that his brain is dead. That if they take the life support off hell be completely dead. And here comes the shock and the denial so she refused to take off the life support until after like 3 days that the doctors told her that its over and therese no reason to keep him attached like that. So they took it off. And the government insisted that he gets buried in paradise. So she cant even visit the grave and then boom. She got Preeclampsia. And if it weren’t for the others to take her to a good hospital she would be dead with the baby. But they were saved
And now its just her and their baby.
And lets not talk abt her reactionto everything bc i dont want to make this longer but!
+some bonuses that her dad is actually insisting that she goes and finds another guy, after like few months from birth, that its enough time had been passed another very very big plus that the baby is a girl (armins guess) and literally a copy of him💀 like in everything
💀 jesus christ anon.
You all wanna see Annie sad and broken, is that it?! T____T poor girl omg LET HER HAVE HER HAPPY ARMIN LIFE!
tw: death.
Tho... To entertain this... Uhm. Well. There's little to say that I haven't already said - it'll break Annie. Completely. More so if her father also insists she marry again and the stress of handling that is just. What the fuck.
Having a child that looks like Armin but knowing she'll never see her Papa and that he'll never see his child is... What the fuck (again). God. Wkksnshwi. Jesus christ.
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pjsk-headcanons · 22 days
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omg i have so many hcs for the characters and video games. warning this is probably the longest ask ill ever write
ichika - big classic sonic fan, also likes rhythm games (like rhythm heaven n stuff)
saki - played a lot of pokemon in the hospital bcs tsukasa would bring her his gameboy and pokemon ruby (or smtg) bcs once he showed her a surskit and she begged him to let her play bcs it was cute. she is now a die hard pokemon fan
honami - doesnt really play video games but she has lets go eevee and a bunch of eeveelution and pikaclone plushies
shiho - plays like everything, but she especially likes fighting games and ace attorney. also plays every mario game when it comes out but only bcs "of how popular he is"
minori - LOVES needy streamer overload and cute rhythm games like melatonin. she also deff plays like harvest moon & stardew valley & stuff
haruka - before she became an idol she would play like silly mobile games but she never really got into games
airi - she is obsessed with the legend of zelda and completes every game on release (unless she has a show) (thats the only exception) shes tried other games simular to tloz but none have really stuck
shizuku - she knows like the basic controls of super smash bros brawl but she sucks like hell
kohane - still cries over abandoning her nintendogs sometimes. she plays a lot of raising animal games and tycoons on roblox sometimes
an - name one rhythm game she hasnt played i dare you. any game that can slightly require musical tallent or a sense of rhythm has been played by her (not in full but like). also she likes warioware
akito - sonic nerd. tails is his fav character with shadow in close second bcs of a middle school phase he went through but shadow stuck as a fav. ena has also played a lot of sonic bcs of this man
toya - wasnt allowed to play video games but vbs and the tenmas are slowly introducing him to those like combining games like tetris and suika game. hes surprisingly good
tsukasa - hyperfixates on pokemon like every other month. he makes a persona for every character he plays and gets emotionally attached and stuff (totally not projecting)
emu - kirby lover!!! also plays splatoon at least every splatfest and cooking games. she deff plays a lot of vr and has liked that job sim vr game with the tv robots
nene - we all know she likes shooting games (but idk that many so bare w me). she deff is the one who introduced emu to splatoon & they always chiose the same splatfest team. she also plays just any arcade shooting games and used to play fortnite but shes more into cos & apex now
rui - rui makes his own video games (rom hacks the shit outa every game he plays) (also has homebrewed his wii and wii u)
kanade - likes low stress games like melatonin and animal crossing. she also plays like stupid sims like bee simulator and placid plastic duck sim (one of her favs). she doesnt like multiplayer games that much though
mafuyu - she had a gameboy advanced that her dad got her when she was younger and she played like any game on clearance bcs her mom would get pissed if a game cost too much. that gamebot is now smashed and sold for parts, so are all the games
ena - HATES sonic with a passion. i wonder whos fault that is. she would always play those dress up games but woukd mess with photoshop and stuff more
mizuki - she wasnt allowed to play like rhythm games or fasion games when she was younger. she was told to play mario, or the legend of zelda, or starfox. she managed to convince her parents to let her play kirby and shes been obsessed ever since
🍼 anon (SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LONGER THEN MY FUCKING BODY)
.
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doakarma · 3 months
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Headcanons
But updated!!! Aka I wanted to make a new post for them bc I made more :D
General
• Likes : Cats (and animals in general), learning new things and being outside.
• Dislikes : Being inside too long, isolation, being the centre of attention and loud/crowded spaces.
• Calls everyone Mister until he knows them and then quickly moves to Nicknames.
• gets attached to people/things he cares about
• will eat anything he can vaguely perceive as food.
• doesn't like talking about his past
• very fidgety.
• Doesn't speak much or at all when he's nervous or scared
• has nightmares a lot
• Likes being useful and tries to help out when he can.
• Acts like a kid when excited / has a childlike wonder about new things.
• doesn't know many normal world things and can get confused but he knows far too much stuff from the underground (like mafia stuff yk)
• Transmasc (or genderfluid?) any prns pref for they/he (afab)
• scars on his neck that he sometimes scratches when nervous. Doesn’t let people see them or touch his neck.
• hates hospitals
• if he’s having a bad day / flashbacks sometimes his mind plays tricks on him and he’ll call someone boss, sir etc. without realising.
DOA BLOG SPECIFIC (also apply to adult)
• only gets to sleep comfortably with @oscarsgallery or something that reminds him of him
• similarly, in a relationship with @oscarsgallery
• his family and his nicknames for them - @shopping-for-a-casino-owner (Nik) and @fedya-the-rat-god (Fyo) his dads. And @sigma-man-of-the-casino (Sig) his kinda dad step dad or smth. @the-caged-jester (Niko) his uncle. @snakesinthesnow (fedya?) his brother and @the-grey-wolf-of-the-doa (sash?) his sister.
• Has a pet duck John and John he and a Kitten Pebble and Jewel, older cat called Bird
• has a missing left eye and hand(?) (due to something that happened on here.)
• less visibly upset when he can’t do stuff
Ada blog specific
• fucking hates @oscarsgallery
• His family and their nicknames : @fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency (just calls him father or dad) @the-scalpel-wielder (just calls him mori so far) his other dad. @justsigma-bsd (sig) and @respiratory-kristem / @kriscord-server (just calls him kris) his brothers.
• he doesn’t really sleep comfortably with anyone, so usually wraps himself in something tights
• gets really visibly upset
• pain from when he was killed, more frequent when he is active
Adult blog specific (ones from Doa apply here too)
• runs a cat cafe which has 10 cats currently and he works there about 12 hours a day
• binds and then complains after wearing it too long. Only wants top surgery
• has longer hair he styles sorta like Nikolai’s most of the time.
• gets extremely panicked / stressed if he’s late
• has one of those “my fiancé is the lead singer” shirt for Oscar
• really bad sensory issues.
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Uncle Carmy
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I've seen people lapidating Carmy because he didn't give a fuck about Nat's baby.
Well, we don't know that.
And jumping to that conclusion seems a little harsh and UNFAIR if you ask me (apparently bc he yelled at Syd he's now the devil incarnated and I bet that if he woulda been nice to her, but just as shitty as he was to everyone else, you woulda looked the other way and understood him -AWESOME! You're very kind! Never change!-). But then again, that's all most people have been doing with Carmy since June 27. So... I guess I should have seen it coming.
This is what I saw.
What we do know:
His phone and everyone else's were in the locker.
The next day, or whenever mom, dad & baby were back home and Syd paid them a visit, Carmy was at his place drawing and reminiscing his Copenhagen days, also thinking about The Bear's menu (to get Syd her bullshit star because that's all he thinks about), because he was looking for inspiration in those books. We don't know if he had already talked to Nat or to Pete or if he showed up at the hospital before Nat was discharged at some point, etc. Usually, if you have a natural birth you stay at the hospital 24 hours after delivery if everything is OK, longer if necessary for mom/baby. Also, we know that Donna was there and they haven't seen each other yet, according to Uncle Jimmy. This means that either Carmy coulda possibly have visited Nat and the baby at the hospital when Donna wasn't there, or that he didn't show up because he knew Donna was there and didn't consider that the best timing, as peace and love should be top priorities on those special occasions, so not dropping by to avoid Donna, was actually the most appropriate thing to do, postponing the visit to a more "convenient" Donna-free time. I kinda agree. When rooms get too crowded mom and baby get stressed out and if that crowd includes Donna and Carmy's tension, I actually prefer he didn't show up at the hospital at all. If that was the case, that was the most sensible thing to do.
Nat didn't seem mad at anyone when she sent the baby's pic to the group chat, which leads me to think that everything was A-OK with Uncle Carmy. She was fine. So thinking that Carmy had already showed up at the hospital or at her place once they were back home or even had a text or phone conversation with her to make sure they were ok and schedule a Donna-free visit, doesn't seem too much of a stretch. It's actually what usually happens in dysfunctional families.
My point is: The fact that they didn't show any of these potential scenarios and based on what they did decide to show 90% of the fandom decided to never give Carmy the benefit of the doubt or not even consider that maybe they didn't show a very plausible phone call or text or that Carmy actually was at Nat's place before or after Syd or even at the hospital, only shows how partial your way of watching the show is, and how much you guys miss for being partial. I'm not even gonna go over more serious topics like lack of compassion, empathy, open-mindedness, etc, because I have in previous posts, and even when I'm certainly not here for anyone's amusement but my own, it bores me to tears at this point to repeat the same stuff over and over. Ultimately you only see what you are prepared to see, so whatever I say or not is not gonna change that, and that's OK. But just so you know THERE IS A HUGE CHANCE that what's not on camera, may have happened anyway and we might find out about it later on and you may need to swallow your words reconsider your position taken against Uncle Carmy... Be aware.
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lonelychicago · 1 year
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several sentences sunday!
tagged by the lovelies @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @jesuisici33 @wildlife4life
here's a snippet from my single dad buck au bc i don't have writing beans and didn't have anything new to share <33
The next time it happens, Buck doesn't really care if he's interrupting one of Eddie's dates— it doesn't even cross his mind, if he's being honest.
He calls Eddie on his way to the hospital, his phone connected to that fancy bluetooth thing that Chimney got him for his birthday and that allows him to drive safely and talk at the same time.
"Hey, Buck!" Eddie greets him. "Listen, I'm on a d—"
"I'm driving to the hospital, I think there's something wrong with Gracie." Buck says, shaking and all wide eyes as he stares at the road in front of him. Something in him is screaming to speed up, to get there as fast as he can and fuck the physics or traffic laws.
The other part of him doesn't want to crash, especially with Grace strapped on the backseat, so he drives like a normal and sane person (even if he feels like anything but that)
"What? What happened? Are you okay?"
"She has a fever. A really fucking high fever." Buck grits out and stops at a red light. He reaches back with an arm and touches the back of his hand to Gracie's forehead— still hot to the touch. She's crying still but not too loud and she's making these little hurt noises and hiccups every now and then. She looks tired and in pain and Buck would do pretty much anything and everything right now to make it all better— hell, he would cut his own arm in a heartbeat if that were of any use.
"How high?" Eddie asks worriedly. Buck thinks he can faintly hear someone talk in the background but he can't bring himself to care about that at the moment.
"It's okay, Buck. Hey—"
"I should've taken her to the hospital way earlier." Buck mutters but it's more to himself than to Eddie so he's not sure if the man heard that or not.
"I'm on my way." Eddie says and Buck nods, even if he can't see him right now.
Eddie is on his way and somehow, that just makes this awful and stressful situation just the tiniest bit better.
tagging: @monsterrae1 @buddierights @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @buck2eddie @alyxmastershipper @911onabc @spaceprincessem @prettyboybuckley @honestlydarkprincess @diazblunt and anyone else who wants to do it!
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vampireassistant · 3 months
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okay story time about the crazy grown ass woman from when i was a teen that would dump her hcs about otis csa from his dad and try to get me to tell her sex hcs about spotis cause it "helped her stress" and harass me for fanart
back when i just turned 16 there was this bitch who found me cause id post otis art on insta. grown ass adult woman btw. and she started to dm me and beg me for detailed hcs about sex (cause at 16 i was an obnoxious kinnie about spaulding and she shipped spotis) which in retrospect was extremely weird but that wasnt the fucked up part. she had like 10 different fics, some going over 40k words, where shed have entire chapters describing otis as a kid getting brutally raped by his dad. she was also super obsessed with otis having an ED and hip problems from where his dad broke his hips from raping him so much as a kid (keep all this in mind for when you read the screenshots). shed dm me randomly outta the blue while i was in class for my GED telling me her otis csa ptsd hcs. that was the shit that made me so disturbed. all of this was unprompted. and at 16 i was going through a lot with being homeless and my dad going to prison for dv so i was just letting her yap in my dms bc these things dont trigger me but it sure was fucking weird.
flash forward to about 2 years ago and she tried to ask jack for the otis bio pics and he was like hey....wait....aint you the cunt who used to fantasize child rape in my man's dms when he was a vulnerable teen and she deleted all her fics like they never existed. crazy shit.
screenshot dump just so yall can see how....strange this chick was:
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^ this one isnt too bad its just so random. source? what the hell are you on about? why are you fantasizing about the irl man bill moseley with your weird ED fetish?
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^ her randomly bringing up otis getting raped as a kid. again. as she always did. left the first part in just so you can see how she'd just shove it into every convo.
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^ the first screenshot is showing how shed fucking interrogate me to give her descriptions of her weird fetish. also she wouldn't stfu about woobifying otis for it. love how you can essentially see me being like Why Are You Thinking About This So Much
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^ this is just a general cringe screenshot cause im like yeah they used to rob places and kill people together of course cutter's dug a bullet or two out of otis before and vice versa. and shes like Fuck.....if otis went to the hospital.......how was my 16yo ass less cringe and more logical than this grown woman
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^ i actually clearly remember i was ghosting her during this time period because of school and also just. i didnt wanna keep having her bring up kid rape about my man every 4 messages. and here she is doing it again unprompted.
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^ ANOTHER UNPROMPTED OTIS RAPE HC !!! LET HIS HOLE REST GIRL GODDAMN.
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^ im talking about my surgeries and this bitch just pops off with "otis hates sucking his dad off" i remember the whiplash this gave me and its been 6 damn years. it still takes me off guard every time i remember.
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^ to end this on a lighter note cause this always makes me laugh. ma'am do you even remember who youre talking about
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finished season 4 last night and i once again have thought i would like to write down!!!
this time written on my phone bc im on holiday and havent gotten the wifi password for my laptop yet so bare with me
- may grant!!! I love that she got a bigger role this season. she’s so great and seeing her grow and learn the same way maddie had to learn was so beautiful to watch. her relationship to her mother is complicated but beautiful and i love that athena learns to accept that may is her own person. I hope we see more of her in season 5 and i hope we see more of athena and may together as well. her listening to her mom’s phonecall to 911…. I cried
-speaking of smaller characters getting bigger roles: josh!!! i LOVED what was basically a “josh begins” episode, he ATEEEEEE that one call where he had to direct several groups of LAPD officers around.
-bobby this season made me fear for a relapse. im so glad that he didnt relapse but im scared for him and worried. I hope he and athena can talk more and tbh i would love to see him open up again to the season 1 trio. chim, hen and buck helped him get sober after his relapse, i want to see them bond and vent together!!! the episode where he and michael played detectives LMFAOO
- i think ive mostly mentioned what i loved about athena this season in previous paragraphs, her relationship with may and her relationship with bobby. i absolutely LOVE how hard she went for that missing her, i loved her rescuing bobby from that sniper. there were some excellent scenes. i love her and hen together, my bestieesssssss!!!! i do wish to see her and bobby in more vulnerable scenes together, the fight and then aftermath of it was beautiful
-hen my love. what a rollercoaster. first of all i love her mom!!! she’s so fun and clearly trying to fix whatever went wrong between them. hen at med school is sosoosososo cool and i love her med school friends. she’s so cool being in med school even with everything else. I love seeing the main cast’s friends OUTSIDE of work, it adds so much to the characters . her and karen truly are so fucking important to me. the foster daughter arc with nia was so beautiful and heartbreaking. like im sorry you KNEW this could happen. but i love that they’re open to new placements even with the pain. and denny being involved!! and being scared of being taken away!!! Pls im gonna cry, the exact fear karen has
-chimney at the beginning of the season pissed me tf off. but then he was there for maddie in person and they were amazing!! girl dad chimney!! i love him, he loves his kid so much pleaseeeeee… and him telling the people who raised him how imporant they are to him. i love his character idk guys, hes just so wonderful to me. even if he clearly didnt see the signs of maddies post partum depression
- albert literally almost dying while his niece was being brought into the world was so fucking stressful jesus christ. i love him and i love his friendship with buck. uncle besties 4 life!!!
- maddie i love you so much. she was so beautiful this season, she deserves the world. she was so ready to be a mom but then post partum depression hit :( i hope she gets better, im glad she asked for help. her and buck’s storyline this season… the secret brother… for fucks sake how shocking and how HEAVY of a burden that must be to carry for so long. I love her so much.
- buck this season going to therapy…. Damn dont get too mentally stable or else they won’t know what to do with you anymore hahahaah!! nvm watch your loveofyourlife bestie get shot in front of you, have to crawl under a truck even with your trauma to save him and then literally try to keep him alive until the hospital only to then have to tell his son what is happening. heres moreeeee traumaaaaaaaa woooohooooo!!! ngl i liked him and taylor kelly this season, i kinda wish they would remain friends but i can deal with her as a love interest for now. shes an interesting character! his whole world being turned upside down when he was just starting to get better from the therapy by her sister admitting to them having a brother and him being born for spare parts. love you king, sorry you never get to be fully happy with yourself!
- eddie diaz you absolute cutie pie. will you ever be happy? Idk but you sure were bitchy this season. i fucking LOVED it, please tell me we get your bitchy ass back for season 5. him in the jinx episode??? I laughed so hard, truly an icon. I love ana flores but that man simply doesnt know what to do with a woman like her. oranywomanforthatmatter. him and chris is always beautiful, that is MY family. he loves that kid so muchz and him putting buck in the will?? hand in marriage next…. I knew what was coming from spoilers online but him being shot and the scenes after that of buck getting him inside the truck were so fucking nerve racking and also FUN!! what a moment.
-carla is back for 2 seconds and already spitting facts LMFAO
-the jinx episode was so fun and sossoossoso good pls more of it and more of ravi as well
-the treasure hunt episode was so good too!! I love episodes where they all get a bit silly
-the dam breaking and mudslide disaster was really good, especially with may being freshly at 911 dispatch and her MOM being stuck in a house that crashed down the hill. nothing tops the tsunami tho
- i want more buck and diaz scenes. and by diaz i mean chris.
thats all i can think fo rn my brain is tired i love travelling but it makes me so tired
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tiktaalic · 1 year
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klance vs gallavich is driving me balls to the walls insane . as somebody who “liked” both . liked in quotes bc i was 14 when i discovered klance and it was . fun . ooh red and blue ooh teamwork and friendship blossoming into something more WHATEVER . gallavich. oh gallavich i discovered when i was 16 and depressed and it permanently altered my brain chemistry . people say that all the time but everything is DUST compared to what shameless will do to the budding brain. ian what you and i have makes me free guess what we’ve been doing daddy we’ve been fucking sorry i’m late yeah mick i’ll wait i wanna be where you are mickey you’re under my skin man the fuck can i do . SET THE BAR FOR REPRESSED GAY LOVE . i cannot stress this enough . mickey was born in a wet cardboard box all alone and went through allllll the horrors that people love to pretend their vanilla fave went through and got GAY MARRIED . ian gallagher suffered more than jesus and went on to get married to the rough kid he met when he was FIFTEEN . every single complexity people on here love to pretend their gayboring faves have is IN THE TEXT for them . this got long sorry . this is what they do to a person and i could go on . i had a shameless blog for multiple years and didn’t even scratch the surface of what makes them possibly the most compelling gay couple on modern television. klance is for when you’re a bit bored
KLANCE IS LITERALLY A SUMMER FLING! I know because I summer flinged with them! I was there! I watched the last season when it dropped at 3 am! But they are the definition of I made you up in my head. Gallavich is. Ohhhhh my god. People will literally make shit up and pretend it happened to their fav in an au or whatever but it happened to Mickey for REAL! his father for REAL shotgun married him to a woman because he found him in bed with a man! His father for real got in his face and told him he would kill him if he married a man and Mickey said Alright thanks dad. And then MARRIED IAN! Mickey better than any fake little guy with daddy issues because he. He’s the only one to ever do it. He’s the onlyyyyy one to ever do it. Everyone else makes up their little characters with their little daddy issues but mickey is mickey forever. Gallavich have so many. Lines. But the one that gets me every time is. when mickey’s trying to visit ian (in jail? hospital? I don’t remember). Your relationship to mr. Gallagher? Partner lover family y’know. He just rattled them off one after the other. He fucking LOVES ian. And ian loves him. And they got married. Im sure this is the most mainstream take in the world but it’s so good it’s soooo good when they’re living at mickey’s house with mickey’s wife and raising mickey’s toddler. And it’s so good when Ian spins out hard and Mickey is so staunchly There. Does not waver for a fucking second. What’s going on with Ian. Ask Mickey. Gallavich sweep
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