ignore this but i need to fucking vent bc i'm in tears in a fucking university and i really need to just. fucking.
my friends asked me to come rock climbing and i said maybe, and then said i wouldn't go bc i'm exhausted and have to be up early for work, and they said we could do something else after they go rock climbing, so i was like ok fine i guess we can go for a drink. and i was gonna meet them at the restaurant but they said they'd come pick me up first and then they BRING ME
TO THE FUCKING ROCK WALL
THAT I CANT EVEN WAIT INSIDE WITHOUT PAYING ADMISSION
so now i'm sitting alone in the hallway of a random fucking university with tears in my eyes bc my friends decided to fuck all our plans over last minute and NOT FUCKING TELL ME and now i'm over an hour and a half away from home and i'm so fucking miserable and mad and upset and i just. wanna scream
the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry it’s not Spotify/Soundcloud but they don’t have some of these songs available so uh… guess you’re stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).
Replica Main Theme - “Die for You” by Grabbitz
Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay
Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara
Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon
Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon
Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki
The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu
Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell
Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay
Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP
Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet
7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid
Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia
Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk
Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes
Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt
Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey
Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills
I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.
I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!
You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back
everything here is so classically g1. jokes that arent sure if theyre jokes. starscream declaring himself leader because megatron mispronounced a word. [takes off and immediately crashes]. the awful lip sync. optimus putting ravage in the trash. megatron and starscream bitching match. "i never miss at this range" [misses]. megatrons dance and flail. im so serious g1 is awful and one of the funniest shows ive ever seen
I keep seeing interpretations of Owen revisiting The Pink Opaque and finding it cheesy/childish as being a critique of nostalgia / not worshipping media from your youth, and sure whatever, I get the angle - but I don’t read it that way?
It’s “cheesy” because she’s snuffed out the spark. The glow. She grew up to Be A Man. Raise A Family. She severed the psychic connection - and with that repression, she loses the emotional richness she found in the show as a kid, it’s no longer a boundless space of self exploration / expansion because she’s shoved it all back down and buried it deep inside herself. And that’s the tragedy of that scene. Her family is nonexistent, the campfire she sits around is missing Tara, her favorite show is rendered emotionless, like herself… she snuffed out the space to become the Isabel she always was.
It’s that societal pressure to conform, to sand down your edges and be “consumable”to society. To be “content”, in both senses of the word.