#stuff: KEEPS HAPPENING all DAY
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Actually I haven't been doing so well lately. Maybe these cute beast kitties will cheer someone up in my stead
#semi vent#maybe?#there's supposed to be a sequel to this but mmm dunno if i'll finish it or not#I like to keep the blog light hearted but still I'm just a human who gets sad sometimes#so much comically bad stuff have happened in the past 4-days I dunno whether to cry or laugh#luckily nothing too bad#only some incidents of ruined possessions and one incident of bodily harm#all caused by my own incompetent so I can't even complain lol#art#fanart#stuff i draw
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some stories are written precisely to elicit strong emotions from the reader INCLUDING negative ones. some stories and characters are meant to be upsetting, they are meant to challenge you and make you uncomfortable!! when a story makes you feel Big Feelings sometimes you are meant to sit in those feelings and ask yourself why! fiction is a great space to explore these emotions in a safe environment. you, as the reader, are meant to think critically about the art you are enjoying and that includes asking yourself questions like why has the author presented their art in this way and what are they trying to tell me. and then you get to have fun picking it apart and figuring it out and deciding what, exactly, the art means to you.
#this post has been in my drafts since SEPTEMBER and it just gets more and more relevant lately#and sure sometimes we decide in the end that the art is bad and that we don't like it. that's fine. i'm not arguing anyone's right#to dislike certain things. it's fine!!! but why are you acting like it's a personal offense??? what's going on??#like idk what is in the water these days that people have become so averse to Storytelling#the whole POINT is to make you FEEL SOMETHING!!!#why are you getting mad at artists for making you feel something!!!!#between some of the asks i and other authors get to the recent stuff with mouthwashing and epic saga and fucking nosferatu#NOSFERATU. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY???#i really feel like i am losing my mind. i keep thinking of that 'disco elysium but its a little girl looking for her lost cat in the alps'#tweet. like this is really where we're at. people would rather feel Nothing. no one wants to be challenged#no one wants to explore Themes or read social commentary anymore it's so dire#let's all just go read our bland cozy fantasy story with found family and No conflict & nothing interesting to say at all#i'm sure we'll all be safe there#fuck!!!#also this isnt aimed at that anon i got a few days ago this is just like. a general trend i have noticed that is happening Everywhere rn
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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How to describe that Sonic seems to be okay being whoever he needs to be to inspire, convince, change, or save the world. Turn into a Werehog? Get summoned to midivil times? Become a supporting character rather than the main one? That dude takes it in stride
#Knox rambles#my coherency is at an all time low rn i just watched the first little bit of sonic and the black knight intro and I’m insane over how fast#he jumps right into helping like HA this stuff happens to me all the time no worries#he is so cool#my attention span is so short rn i keep going back and forth between watching clips of cutscenes drawing stuff thinking about ocs makingfood#my last day school starts back up on mondaaaay heck#;-; alas#weh#my break week is almost over CURSES
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day 1: Dark/Light
(not sure if this doodle really fits the prompt well but I take any excuse to draw high contrast black and white)
#my art#baroryuuweek2023#baroryuu#barok van zieks#ryunosuke naruhodo#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#I was gonna clean this up more but then school and a zine and more stuff happened#don't think I'll do all the days but I do have a drawing planned for the ballroom day so keep your eyes peeled#if I do other days they will just be doodles like this tho
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When Superboy Prime accidentally resurrected Jason Todd, it was described something like the universe righting itself. And, from a purely physical point of view, Jason never died. It brought his body back to it's state before his death, his injuries there but with just enough he could still survive
So, now I'm imagining like. What if there was an au where it was more than Jason just physically "never dying," but it affected memories of those around as well
Joker not remembering killing him, Dick not remembering hearing the news, Batman and Gotham not remembering the 6 months between Jason's death and resurrection, but not thinking much if it
Its all as if Jason never died
#the way im personally thinking about going about this is like. mystery#theres a grave for jason todd but its empty. 6 months of your memories are glossing over something. all of Jason's stuff is gone#rambling#this is hard to get to work you have to fuck around with alot#you could go FURTHER. jason has no grave at ALL. he just woke up in Ethiopia one day#maybe wandered around just the same until the league found him? goes from there#but the POINT#is imagine waking up and your son is gone and you cant remember any thought you had about him the past 6 months#imagine waking up and not knowing that no one remembers you died#imagine seeing memorials for every hero but you (i mean thats still canon) (but imagine there was a reason for it)#this would change bruce Alot#oh hey if you go further with it where decisions made in response to jasons death dont happen (funeral. hiding his things. etc)#you can keep in the fanon where all of Jason's stuff is left in the manor untouched. instead of hidden like it actually went#no jason victim blaming from bruce to cope with the death. that changes how everyone sees jay bc bruce controls the narrative on jason 👀!?#jason being the only one who remembers. thatd be so fucked. what if no one tells him that memories of his death were just wiped away#that his death just never happened#but what if they do? how does he deal with that? all very exciting to think about#jason todd#red hood#batman#dc comics#i dont know the EXACT timeline so whats happening to tim. is he just here now with his own robin suit and not sure why#man this would be a fun mystery to force bats to chew on
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Actually thinking more about Reiju's only sin being a woman and... Going into more depth, I know that logically/canonically she's smart and empathetic enough to not want to be in her brothers' place. She doesn't want to be an heir/ successor or follow the family's footsteps at all. She knows they're bad. She sees herself as such, too, unable to change/be different like Sanji was. She doesn't think she can bring her mother's kindness to this world the way Sanji does, so she sticks to what she knows, whether it is to protect Sanji too or to accept her fate.
BUT (and bear with me for a second here, I know I have been watching too much Succession lately) we also do know that during her childhood she didn't do anything to help Sanji from the abuse. She watched it happen because that was the way things went there and because she knew what would happen to her if she did. Of course, she ends up helping him escape and taking care of him but-- I'm just thinking, for a tiny little moment, about how she's actually the oldest.
She should be the heir. She should be the person everybody views Ichiji as. She should be considered the most responsible. The smartest. The strongest one. The one who should take the throne. And she doesn't even want it now, but what about back then? What about when she did have some little, tiny faith/hopes for her family and what they did? She sought approval and naively thought "my father is going to offer me the place I rightfully deserve, right?" blindly seeking acceptance like all of them did.
But no, because she might be the oldest but Ichiji is a man. She might be the strongest, the smartest, the most reliable... But she is not a man. And I believe there must have been a time when she expected her destiny to be something more, and once she realized she was just a woman in their eyes... Well, we know what happened.
I just keep finding similarities between The Vinsmokes (OP) and The Roys (Succession) and perhaps my headcanon of Reiju being similar to Shiv has gone a bit too far. But the scene where Shiv is like "This is real?" when Logan promises she'll be the CEO and he goes "This is real. Remember this. The slant of light" for it to be a lie later is something I fear could have happened with Reiju and Judge if Oda had given us more content,,,,
#guys i might be mentally ill when it comes to the vinsmokes i keep making up content and background that does not exist#ik reiju's character doesn't focus on this/the whole point is her being treated as just a woman bc of having feelings & yet being reliable#but let me dream of a more complex story behind all of this okay#she ends up helping sanji bc she refuses to keep seeing him suffer but what if something else had also happened back thennn#what if judge had destroyed her hopes of something more??? and with that she realizes first-hand how shitty everything is#and she also hates herself for not having helped sanji sooner#and she does believe it IS a bit sanji's fault for being weak but she's also aware that that weakness is kindness#i am very sad this is so shiv and roman coded i am jumping off a bridge#roman and sanji being similar is also on my list btw#not fully sanji bc i also think roman applies to niji but there's some stuff there okay#“what have you got on your fucking hand?” “idk fucking love?” is something so sanji to me okay okay#but at the end of the day isn't sanji just tom wambsgans in this essay i will-#one piece#vinsmoke reiju#vinsmoke judge#vinsmoke family#succession#shiv roy#robin stop mentioning succession this is an anime blog
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bunter keeping peter from being swallowed up by an evil bog with the kind of hysterical strength otherwise only known by mothers deadlifting cars to save their tender babes is something that can actually be so personal
#lord peter wimsey#mervyn bunter#so jigencore of him honestly. if lupin or peter were inside a irrevocably burning house jigen and bunter would be running#directly and determinedly into the fire to get to their personal Little Guy and that's just the way it is#with the slight distinction that I think bunter might genuinely and uncomplicatedly be *gentle gasp* straight (??? listen i KNOW)#I'm only just about to start book 3 so my opinion is by no means conclusive or comprehensive of course. but those are my vibes#you know how rarely and hesitantly I bestow the 'heterosexual' headcanon upon a beloved blorbo but I think this is one such situation#his attachment and devotion to his silly lil guy seems to come from some far deeper and less readily explicable source#than any such humdrum motives as human sexuality or romantic feeling however sincere could account for lol#it's not exactly parental but sometimes it feels like peter has two moms. his mom. and bunter who actually does most of the mom stuff lol#(or arguably also the wife stuff if we start to look uncomfortably deeply into the overlapping roles in traditional gender politics)#also wrapped up soooo much class stuff and the politics of caretaking physical AND emotional inherent in that#don't worry tho I am seeing rampant queercoding in plenty of other places lol (can we TALK about parker marrying peter's sister.#like ok king. I'm sure that means nothing. also everything about sir impey biggs. what a delight of a character I'm obsessed with him)#(one thing I really noted in clouds of witness is that denver's valet doesn't note Anything about his employer's mail or general mood#can you IMAGINE for even a second bunter not being on top of all of peter's correspondence. not attuned to his emotional state#or interested in his well-being at any moment in time. no you cannot. that is a thing that just would not happen.#I suppose denver does not have the sheer pathetic sad wet cat energy peter has that awakens the protective instinct in people lmao#I jest but I do have deeper thoughts about for all the fantasy of financial independence and freedom from worry he represents#wimsey is right from the getgo a character defined by his vulnerability and interconnectedness -- in being dependent#on the people in his life to help him manage his mental health. he is so fundamentally not a lone detective he's so deeply entrenched#in a social and societal context right from the beginning!!! he seems lonely in many ways but he NEEDS people around him#in a way and with a urgent fragility I feel is rare in the genre and with the tropes at play. and bunter#is in many ways the emotional center of that here in the early days. he keeps peter's world together more than anyone. fascinating stuff#(peter holding on to parker's trenchcoat at the end of whose body hit me so tenderly right behind the ribs my god)
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if Bagi does enter the realm soon it’ll be a CRAZY time for her to join because of all the lore going on but she could lowkey just pull a Philza and just be a silly guy w/ minimal lore
#i wouldn’t be mad abt that honestly#a big reason the only realm streams i watch usually are Tina and Phil is because they don’t have any crazy lore that i have to keep up w/#aimsey i wish i could watch your pov but i fear i just can’t keep up </3#i’ll see little clips of lore and stuff and edits and i’ll just be like ‘what even happens on the realm smp…’ /pos#honestly i wish i could watch a lot of ppl on the realm but they’ve all got this crazy extensive lore going on and it would just be so much#like dhaijsjdkdk they all seem so cool and silly i wish i could watch them and understand what they’re talking abt 😭😭😭#one day i’ll understand all the realm lore trust trust#it’s just that my only two POVS are literally just silly guys who just vibe out LMAO#ok i’m done yapping now 🫡#bagi cattuzzo#philza#the realm#the realm smp#rain rambles#<- emphasis on the rambles part this time
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A vent comic about listening to your younger self and taking the things that killed you and using them to come back stronger:
#Moths being a part of the final stage of decomposition and the fact my skeletal persona's bow is a moth has me in a chokehold most days.#something something “What kills you can either keep you dead or bring you back so you make sure it never happens again”#“You killed me but I'm going to haunt you forevermore."#“You cannot keep me dead and buried. I won't die. I won't be quiet.”#something something “All I have to do to ruin you is live.”#I'm doing alright by the way--- just had a rough night.#making this comic helped :>#ptsd#ptsd recovery#trauma#childhood trauma#trauma recovery#mental health#mental health art#trauma art#vent#vent comic#mental health recovery#ptsd vent#trauma vent#stuff by sofie
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i have no mouth and i must scream speech but for about insomnia hate hate hate let me tell you how much i have come to hate being awake
#took half an expired tops brand unisom . wheeeee medicine that does nothing and then the next day you're groggy for twelve hours#but i have to do SOMEthing if i don't Try to make myself sleep that's Giving Up and if you Give Up . well#this is the second week in a row that ive failed to sleep on a night leading into the work week and i know most of the external reasons why#like. busy day tomorrow so anxious. haven't given myself a full weekend in a really long time so strung out.#had important stuff to do earlier that didn't happen so dwelling on that. woke up at 9am and wasn't out of bed until ten thirty so like#i got more than adequate sleep last night but this does not make me feel less worried about NOT sleeping TONIGHT#because again. every time i have a night of big insomnia im convinced that it's the beginning of an unending trend#that will make me wind up like my mother who is lucky she gets more than three hours of sleep every couple of weeks#and while she's done this her whole life qnd has adjusted to it (as much as a body can) i just know. based on how insomnia is for me#that i never could. it would be exactly as terrible every time i would never be able to be calm while it was happening#anyway everybody send me your best knockout gas#AND. it's SNOWING. fuck everything i hate it all#tomorrow im gonna be groggy as hell and have to drive to work and back and have to be With It bc we're doing activities and shit#and have to be like the model of library enthusiasm when i barely have that on a good day. and not actually physically groan#every time someone new wants a card because it means i have to interrupt what im doing dor the next fifteen minutes to say a spiel#i know i shouldn't hate that i should be glad we're getting engagement. and i am. i just wish i wasn't the one at the desk#and im not good at keeping that off of my face or being welcoming when i dont feel welcoming#i haven't gotten to do processing at my actual office desk in months. haven't gotten to be Off The Floor#which certainly hasn't helped my overall stress levels. i need to not be socially on so much it's slowly pulling me apart#and then i get home wnd im too tired to do anything and my house also falls apart around me#but if i DON'T have outings i also rot . there's no solution to this problem. not without quitting my job which ill never do#bc in today's market id never get anything half as good as this ever again. and as has been established. this relatively good job#is still not good enough for me not to be emotionally and mentally falling apart
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Oh hey what about a groundhogs day event where the hero has to relive their traumatic “One Bad Day”-esque backstory but it’s another hero they either know really well and the only way to break the loop is letting that horrible event happen
Bc I’m basic my first thought was “Oh, this would absolutely tear up anyone having to walk down crime alley knowing way too well what’s about to happen”
But I’m also obsessed with my blorbo so my other thought was “Omg lol, imagine if one of the adult heroes ended up in Billy’s body just before his parents left to go die on their dig and think maybe they can save their co-worker the tragedy he faced so young only for every attempt they succeed at getting them to stay keep the loop going and they realize they have to let them go and doom this kid all over again. Haha, extra points if the loop actually lasts from that point to them actually dying so they wake up the next day thinking they failed again only for it to be tomorrow and suddenly Uncle E gets the call that his brother and sister in law are dead and then whoever is in Billy’s body is getting thrown out with a suitcase realizing maybe the nightmare is going to last longer.”
And I just had to laugh bc goddamn my brain cant stop with angst
#‘DC stop making Billy miserable’ I say into the mic#‘I can make it worse’ says my brain ready to swing at the orphan with a sledge hammer#Groundhog Day but body swap basically#even funnier if they DONT know their fellow hero but still realizes the warning flags and tries to save them only to keep waking up#that tragedy of knowing what’s going to happen to someone you care about but the only way to escape is to let it happen#also just the jarring shift back to childhood for a lot of these heroes#other ideas being stuff like one Robin dealing with Dicks One Bad Day doing all they can to save his parents#someone dealing with the day Clark lost his parents/Pa specifically as his Bad Day bc he was too baby for the whole Krypton thing#maybe even a villain/antagonist trying to stop their hero from existing but just ending up sympathetic#then when the day is over they are through a whole character arc and don’t even want to fight anymore bc ‘I am so sorry for your loss’#vice versa too since villains have their Bad Days too#if this has been done for DC please tell me so I can go feral over this idea#dc#billy batson#shazam#batman#fanfic inspo#fanfic ideas#groundhog day#dc comics
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Also in my excursion to find the fic I referenced last post since like, it probably wouldn’t be that hard to find, Sentinel Prime/Optimus Prime is not a large tag on Ao3, I realized I need significantly more fics of them
Specifically the Animated version of them, I don’t care for them in any of the other continuities, because like, they just don’t have the drama they do here
But yeah no, I need more sentop on Ao3. I’m scrolling through the fics and they’re mostly either smut focused (which tbh fair), or one shots, or they were abandoned years ago. And that’s not enough, I’m particularly selective on what I specifically want in my Transformers fanfics, and one shot smut usually ain’t cutting it
I can’t only be sustained by Baby Bone Lullaby and that one fic where Sentinel sent Optimus out in a blizzard only for Optimus to get into an accident and Sentinel feels really bad about it afterwards and I forgot the fic name for it. I need MORE
#like I get why there wouldn’t be much more of it these days#the show’s been over for a long time and right now there’s nothing to bring people back into the fold to make TFA sentop fics#but I’m now sad about the lack of fics for my one ship#maybe I’ve been too spoiled by megop being the biggest ship and having all the content#also name drop of the fic I keep referencing when I say Sentinel magically became one of my faves#genuinely I think BBL was at least part of the reason#and I keep thinking about continuations of the story will be and when the reveal happens#but anyways yeah I demand more sentop#I am nowhere near good enough of a writer to make it myself#also if I start writing too much fanfic I maybe become too self indulgent and start writing weird stuff#not smut but my obsession with fankids may become a little too pronounced#and I don’t have any excuse for it like my requests#even though I’m admitting to it here right now#but yeah I’m annoyed#I have to stop ending my tags (and posts tbh) like this#transformers#transformers animated#sentop#optimus prime#sentinel prime#tfa sentinel prime#tfa optimus prime#fanfic#random stuff#ao3
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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Day 50
#i tired#i have been like all day#ive also been thinking about this song most of the day#in my dream last night there was the stupendium#and they were playing the guitar#it was an electric guitar#and it was blue#light blue#kinda like the guitar in this video#(but less green more blue)#so ive been thinking about that all day#i think other stuff happened but i forgot because I keep coming back to the stupendium playing their guitar#it was really nice#it was good#i liked it#this whole video has peak aesthetic by the way#i could probably rant about it but now is not the ideal place nor time#so for now i will say#the stupendium#daily stupendium#and bid you adiue
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Happy Hobbit Day! (I almost forgot and it's technically well into the 23rd where I am right now, but I haven't gone to bed yet since waking up on the 22nd, so we'll say it counts.)
I think if Boromir had survived he should be allowed special permissions to go into the Shire to see his friends in their native habitat after everything is over.
Transcription:
Shire border security guard: "Sir I don't think you can bring those out with you..."
#boromir#the man the myth the legends#one shiny#canon is great and all but what if#/end classification tags#just letting y'all know i'm alive also#i survived the move and stuff has been happening#i got a kitten to keep the calico company since she was getting lonely#i know i vanished for a while there but in fairness i've been gone for longer of periods of time before#anyway i didn't do much for hobbit day personally but i did go for a walk with my best friend and went shopping for food so#those are both hobbit-adjacent activities
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