Screaming.
Please do not do this but I just screamed for 30 minutes so here’s what you should know.
Can’t do it continuously for very long, have to stop to breathe (amount of time and breaths it takes to recover depends on how long you hold it)
It is EXHAUSTING. Seriously, if your whumpee has been screaming for more than thirty seconds multiple times, they won’t have ANY energy to fight back against the whumper. My head was hanging down for a bit because I was just so tired. The exhaustion also caused dizziness when I stood up. Also it’s been around five minutes and my throat still hurts super bad.
Oddly, I could still talk, maybe a bit of rasp in my voice but still effectively and fairly easily. (Again, about thirty minutes with tiny breaks)
Seriously when the exhaustion hits, it hits H A R D
Mouth kinda hurts too tbh
Heart beats pretty rapidly during and shortly after
My head hurts
Both hurts and helps to cough
Update an hour later: slightly hurts throat to talk
Moral of the story:
Don’t scream so much that you exhaust yourself,
Make your whumpee scream to the whumpers content
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Spring is here , the true beginning of the year , the season where my soul reborns and blooms .
I have made some progress in terms of the person I am becoming, truly in all my honesty all that i have done is to stop caring for everything that once used to matter , the less I care about anything in particular the less I am bothered and the happier i stay. And i really hope everyone here is doing well and I appreciate all the love that was sent.
The problem is I care a lot about everything and i don't even get the bare minimum in return and when i do get it it's too late, so much time has passed by then ,when it comes by then i do not want or need it because it's the not care that came out of love it came out of their guilts. And the longer i wait for it to come by -the more I learn why I don't need it anymore .
I am slowly learning to value myself ,trying to put myself in a position where I can agree that i too deserve all the good things and love even on the days when i have nothing to offer .
Idk guys I am just here to rant and to be stupid
Better late than never they say , I guess it's not too late for me either, I will start my life and live up to what I want & how I feel ,i don't have to care about anything else as long as I feel alive in my bones things will eventually flow, I will fall in love with myself little by little day after day.
I will choose myself instead of choosing others and I will fall in love with my solitude instead of bearing it with me , i don't care if I end up alone if I do end up all by myself I will be with someone who i know has a tendency not to give up .
Life is really short i just don't want to sit and watch it pass by , if I am lucky enough I will have 40 more springs to experience , I have clear boundaries and thoughts in my head now, eventually i will find peace through it I hope so.
Ramdan kareem to people who celebrate it here please remember gaza in your prayers and fastings
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Tessa fucks me up dude can I just talk about her for a sec? Yeah? Yeah.
She loved those drones. She loved them because they were what she had. She felt sympathy for them when nobody else did. And I like to think there was a little bit of loneliness motivating her as well.
Her mother hated her. She was nothing to her. When her mother scolded her by saying "seems you still can't follow simple orders" her respone was "No, no no! Please!" BEGGING. Begging her mother to believe in her and be kind to her. She got chained up in her room (multiple times btw. At leas tthats implied. the hand she winced at and rubbed is the same hand the chain was on, which means shed be chained up long enough for it to rub her skin painfully. long enough to leave lasting pain.)
She is very connected to these drones, to the point where she kept all the error drones aroud because she LOVED them. She spent time digging them up. HELL SHE TOOK A FAMILY PHOTO WITH THEM DUDE...
Even when Cyn was creepy and scary, she kept her around. She'd rather lock Cyn up than get rid of her. and when n points it out, shes apologetic and hesitant. But we know WHY she did that. Even if it was kind of a sucky move, it was because she didnt wanna have to throw cyn out. and in the end that killed her.
Also she knows J well enough to know what sets her off (enough to. bite the shit out of a chain). She knows them. and she loves them.
I wish we'd gotten to know more about her an N. why is he so clearly her favorite? but thats not relevant ig
also her saying "I've only ever yakked to robots, J!" She has NO human friends. she has nobody to support her other than these robots. these robots who get treated like garbage by her family.
and then she has to watch these robots turn on her. Not just THESE ROBOTS but the three that she loved most. (also im going off what wouldve happened in ep 5 WITHOUT uzi, where n doesnt get out of the swamp, and nobody goes down to the basement)
V first, then Cyn, then J. And we KNOW she loved these three+N especially bc she took a family photo w them, interacted with them more often, and generally just seemed much closer with them.
and what does she get for it? killed. And also its implied by this screenshot that she wasnt ACTUALLY killed by cyn right then
(the scientists, the sword beside her, the footprints, the way shes sitting against the wall, the expression she has. she totally just saw all that shit)
and she cant have been skyn bc the scientists wouldve known. the skinsuit wasnt exactly. hm. pretty.
which means she DID see her whole family+more slaughtered in front of her while she was powerless to stop it. She DID see J violently kill everyone around her. She DID see Cyn kill everyone. And she just has to. Deal with that. And despite all her efforts, the solver took over and cyn killed her. (im assuming tessa died somewhere around when n's mineshaft flashback was like i mentioned b4)
and all the while she was convinced shed lose N, id assume. based on the state of the other drone out there.
And honestly, i think what she got was worse.
also i am team "N knew Tessa wasn't the same Tessa he knew back on Earth"
The way he looked at her, and the way he was suspicious of her. He knew HIS Tessa would never treat a drone like this. Cyn has been known to have relatively shitty recreations of people at times (like Thad in episode two) But even so there was no way he could believe it was someone else (like. who would it be? he saw her blood he heard her voice like...) which is why he was so stressed after killing her (when he leaned on his sword and was breathing heavy, yk?)
he loved her and she loved him and now shes dead. just like everyone else he loved.
this isnt about n but like. idk if tessa could see him now i think shed cry. she loved him and all of them
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some may remember megatron-cat,my family called him 'droopy', his real name was 'botas'. i didktn know him well but he was the grumpiest and loudest cat that has ever come to.visit us, he would only let me pet his head and sometimes his tummy and cheeks . he would annoy my cats to steal their food when we werent looking and he loved to layon top of the washing masjine to sleep, or on our a wooden chair and scream if we looked a t him through the window, he also loved destroying cardboard boxes with his claws .h e loved loved chicken and would take pieces away to eat on his own, grumbling all the way . He would always announce when he arrived, demanding food or demanding sleep or even pets from me . he was angry and loud and i will alwayvs love him and miss him, the neighborhood is so much quieter than before and it hurts so bad, i miss how he meowed sweetky when i talkednto him, a sharp contrast to his usual yelling, and i mkss how he would blink slowllyat us. he wasnt ours but i will always love him as if he were. i would jokingly refer to him as my.best friend to my friends, like i would point to his owner's house and go 'this is where my best friend lives. hes a cat' . Mostly because he didnt like me much but disliked everyone else more and i thought i t was funny. i miss him so much
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