#we never had it looked at because I guess it was concluded that nothing much could be done about it?

[isfjmel-phleg]

<

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Remy with shy gn s/o please?

Remy loves how shy you get whenever he does near enough anything.

Your flustered and cute responses to his affection only made Remy want to smother and flirt with you all the more than he already did! You were far too sweet for many but to him you were just sweet enough that it should be forbidden.

He’d kiss the back of your hand, guide you by the small of your back through crowed areas, press tender kisses against the side of you head just to see that sweet, timid smile of yours that you always made before looking away from him to calm your reaching heart.

It was Remy’s favourite part of being with you is knowing that your reactions were genuine, not an ounce of emotion you’ve shown him was fake or fabricated. You may hate it but Remy loved it more than ever as it meant he could tell the effect he had on you no matter what.

‘Good morning mom Cherie.’ He said while pressing a kiss to your cheek as you smiled sheepishly at him. It fills with nothing but warmth and a sensation that felt as though he had butterflies in his stomach.

‘Good morning Remy.’ You reply and he couldn’t help but steal a kiss from your lips, causing you to squeak in surprise.

‘Remy.’ You whined, ‘we talked about you surprising me with affection and how it gets me.’

‘I know and I’m sorry mom Cher but you are just the sweetest thing alive that I just wanna eat you up.’ Remy replied as he gently nipped at your bottom lip cheekily, causing you to softly swat his arm before crossing your arms over your chest.

‘Am I forgiven?’ - Remy

‘I guess .’ - you

He loved the squeals and jolts you did whether he held you from behind before meting into his hold as though it’ll keep you safe and protected, you had so much trust in him with your heart that he was genuinely worried that he might make you regret giving him such an important task one day.

He respects your boundaries for if you feel things have gone on long enough, he wasn’t going to push you out of your comfort zone for his needs or wants, he just wands and needs you to be happy.

So for now he takes to appreciating every moment he gets to spend with you no matter what as you deserved to be worshiped and appreciated for everything you’ve given him, and if you ever were to show an ounce of insecurity about yourself, Remy was more then ready to shower you in sweet whispers and tender kisses and lovingly hugs to show you that you were everything and more to him if that was even possible.

‘Wouldn’t you be with someone more confident or social?’ You’d ask him one day and it broke his heart to hear you say such things because why should he desire anyone else when he has you.

‘And why do you i should be with someone like that when i have everything I’ll ever want or need right in front of me.’ He replied, kneeling in front of you with worried expression. You shrug. ‘I just don’t think we’re compatible and that what we have won’t last and you’ll find someone who can keep up with you..’

‘Oh mon Cher.’ Remy sighed as he held your hands in his, intertwining your fingers, bringing them to his lips as he kissed each and every one of your fingers. ‘We’re more compatible then you think, you may think we don’t fit well together but to me we couldn’t be two piece of the same puzzle, meant to be in more ways then one. We fill in the others blanks, we balance each other out and there should be nothing more important then that.’ Remy concludes as he eyes your lips.

‘May I kiss you mon Cher?’ He asks

‘You never have to ask but yes, yes you may kiss me. That sounds good right about now.’ You answered chuckling as Remy kissed you gently and slowly but deeply enough to convey his feelings towards you.

Remy didn’t care that you were shy or less interested in social interactions or were more of a homebody type of person, you were perfect the way you were and Remy wouldn’t want you any other way.

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning

TW: Internalized Homophobia / Transcript / AN under the cut

AN: Here we are, just one more post before we conclude part 1 of this bittersweet story. As I've mentioned before, this story consists of three parts- Part One - Youth | Part Two - Uni | Part Three - Wife.

Transcript

Nancy Narrates: [As a treat for the few students who stayed behind, the nuns took us into to the city to shop on Christmas Eve]

[It was the first time Vanessa and I spent alone time together since I started dating Geoffrey]

[I’ve never been happier]

Nancy: [blushes] What?

Vanessa: [whispers] Do you feel like we’re being watched?

Nancy: Oh, Sister Agnes? [gulps] She’s right behind me, isn’t she?

Vanessa: [laughs] I’m serious! Let’s ditch the group.

Nancy: And risk getting a mark? Or worse, sent back home?

Vanessa: [shudders] Having to spend the rest of the break with my father? No thanks. Guess I’ll behave myself- for now anyway.

Vanessa: Sooo, what did you get your boyfriend for Christmas? A thong? One of those string thingies for his glasses?

Nancy: [snorts] I got him a broach.

Vanessa: You’re fucking with me, right?

Nancy: What? It was really nice, and very expensive.

Vanessa: Sure, if he’s your grandfather, Nancy!

Nancy: [sheepishly] I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I don’t know if I’m even doing this right. Shouldn't it...feel like something?

Vanessa: What do you mean?

Nancy: Holding hands and kissing. I thought it was suppose to feel like fireworks, like everything is burning and achy. I only felt it once...the first time, at that party.

Vanessa: Oh.. [looks away] Maybe he just needs practice...

Nancy: Maybe... Vanessa, I wa-

Vanessa: Hey! Let’s get some hot cocoa!

Nancy Narrates: [I wish she knew how much I missed when it was just me and her]

[No matter what, she will always be the sun to me]

Vanessa: So, are you going to tell me what’s in those bags?

Nancy: Maybe you should Guess?

Vanessa: Very funny, Blondie. I thought we weren’t exchanging gifts?

Nancy: [pouts] Does that mean you didn’t get me anything?

Vanessa: That’s because we said we weren’t when we were shopping! I could have gotten you something!

Nancy: [chuckles] It’s ok! You really didn’t have to get me anything. I just wanted to get you something I think you’ll like alot.

Nancy: Ta-da! I wanted to officially welcome you into the League of Blondes.

Vanessa: [cackling] No fucking way! This is the best Christmas gift ever, are you kidding!! [digs through bag] What are the scissors for?

Nancy: I was hoping you’d cut my hair. We can both have a new look.

Vanessa: You’re full of surprises, Landgraab. Let’s do it!

Vanessa: You’re being sooo quiet but your thoughts are sooo loud. What are you thinking about right now?

Nancy: Sorry. It’s nothing...

Vanessa: Tell me. Please.

Nancy: No, it’s fine.

Vanessa: Come onnn, please?

Nancy: What happened with Angela?

Vanessa: [huffs] Ah. I was wondering when you’d ask about that.

Nancy: Then why didn’t you just tell me about her?

Vanessa: There’s nothing to talk about. Pretty sure you heard the story.

Nancy: Sure, from everyone else but not from you. I want to hear your side.

Vanessa: [sighs] My side. We were best friends. We did everything together. I loved her a lot. All eyes were on us... so, I guess that’s how everyone noticed how close we were. People were saying things about us, and I was scared my father would find out and think I was like that. So, I turned on her. I called her names. I shunned her. I ruined her life...

Vanessa: It got so bad that she left the school. I never heard from her again. [voice cracks] You have to understand... if my father thought I liked girls, he would kill me. I could never let anyone think I’m like that! I’d rather they all thought I slept around with all the boys in school than think that. I had to do it...

Nancy: Do you?

Vanessa: [sobs] W-what?

Nancy Narrates: [My heart was racing. It just slipped out. And then I said it again, and that time, it felt like I was asking myself]

Nancy: Do you like girls?

Vanessa: [whimpers] I...no!! I’m not...I’m not a lesbian! I swear, Nancy! Please, believe me.

Nancy Narrates: [All that time...I had thought I was the one terrified of what it meant to love her. She was terrified of loving me too]

[This is what kissing should feel like]

Vanessa: [softly] Will you stay in my room tonight?

Nancy: Yes.

Nancy Narrates: [I had so many questions I wanted to ask her. So many things about myself I wanted to share, but there was one thing I wanted more]

[wosoluver]

Jealousy

Part 2 - previous

Lena Oberdorf x reader

Lena Oberdorf Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Lena's pov

"Morning" I said coming into the locker room the next day. I look around, but I don't see Y/N. Not seeing Ana either, drives me to conclude they are together and already outside.

"You look a bit shitty, no offense." says Giulia.

"Saying 'no offense' after saying the rudest thing ever does not make it less offensive."

"See you didn't get much sleep last night." Lea says, she knows me too well.

"Yeah, I was doing a lot of thinking... and feeling, I guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

"After training?"

She only nodded, walking next to me towards the field.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

We stayed back after training, with the excuse of training penalty shots.

"So?"

"hm, it's not that simple to get out."

"Is it about Y/N?"

"How'd you know?" I ask, lips parted a bit shocked.

She simply laughs, which feels a bit like a mock. Making me twist my brows questionably.

"You're really are oblivious about it! Klara was right!"

"You guys were talking about us?"

"Yeah, at Syd's the other day! Y/N had just defended you, and you basically shut her down. You do that all the time. Every time she tries to hit on you actually."

"She doesn't hit on me! I'm pretty sure she only sees me as a friend. That's exactly what I wanted to talk about."

"As a friend?" she said in an outrageous tone. "Your joking right? She religiously does your hair every game. You want to drive her everywhere and won't take a no for an answer, which is fine because she never puts up a fight anyway. She literally said she will marry you. She looks at you, like you hung up the moon and the stars?!

You go out everyday after training as 'friends' but have never actually bothered to invite your other friends. I think you really only got bothered once she invited someone else to come a long, because you knew this isn't a 'just friends' things.

You are bothered because she invited Ana to do something you consider to be extra friendly. Wondering 'what if she is doing romantic things with someone else?'.

Am I right or am I right?"

I felt tears come to my eyes. She described what I felt, but couldn't understand what it was. And I was angry in a way, with myself, for taking so long to notice.

"No need to cry babes." she said coming to hug me. "We cry when we have feelings that aren't reciprocated. You're so lucky, that girl is in love with you. And I really think she would like to hear how you feel."

I nodded quietly. After a couple minutes, in silence we go back inside.

Walking in, Y/N was sitting peacefully on her phone.

"Hey, what are you still doing here?" she looked up at me.

"Just waiting for you, so we can go for a snack." with the same kind smile she always had, on.

"I'll be quick in the shower."

Walking into the showers I was met with a grinning Lea.

"I told you."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Sitting in the usual spot we always did, I noticed for the first time the way she look at me. And maybe, just maybe the twinkle in her eyes, that I noticed very so often, was a sign of her adoration, that I've read wrong all along.

"You were crying..." it wasn't even a question, more of an statement.

"Not too much. I realized, I might have nothing to cry about."

"How's Ana settling in?" I cowardly change the subject.

"Good, I think she's really getting along with the new girl that arrived this week. Tainara, I think that's her name. It's nice to see, I know we didn't have much in common either.

Just didn't want her to go through what I did many times. Of arriving somewhere and feeling lonely and having a hard time making friends."

"I think it's lovely that you think so much about others. Wish I was more like that."

"You are one of the most considerate people I know."

"I'm so sorry."

"What? Why are you saying this?"

"Because I haven't been considerate with your feelings. I have made many mistakes, turning you down. I was unfair, but I swear it was never intentional." she reached across the table to place one of her hands on my cheek, holding it affectionately, as I lean on it.

"I know. That's the only reason I'm still here. You may have denied with words but your actions never lied." She caressed me softly.

"Do you really think I will be a cute granny?" she looked at me questionably.

"I will always think you're cute." and like it did many times before, her words made my stomach turn in excitement.

"Good. Because I want to grow old with you. I love you Y/N."

"I love you, Lena."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Like, share and request! 🩷

[strangererotica]

EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI

Devil Worshipping Cultists Steve & Eddie x Virgin Sacrifice Fem!Reader

ADVISORY: This story contains dark content. Relevant tags are posted below the cut. Proceed only if you’re comfortable consuming content with intense themes and violent imagery. The canon is essentially flipped upside down (no pun intended) with Eddie and Steve behaving as villains in this story.

Eddie and Steve are the villains this story. They are depicted as the kind of devil-worshiping deviants the people of Hawkins accuse Eddie of being. In this story, ‘Hellfire,’ lives up to its name, with Eddie and Steve as a pair of friends who use their ‘devotion,’ to Satan as an excuse to carry out sinister actions.

Additional content warnings: words like bitch and cunt are used as insults against reader. Reader is touched against her will and a knife appears briefly. Reader’s virginity is mocked, as well as her desire to abstain from sex. She is threatened with assault. Misogyny, men being bastards, religious themes (Satan, a church, devil worship). And in the end, the bastards pay…

Eddie Munson’s eyes lick over you sinisterly. “She’s pretty and she’s a virgin?” he huffs, obviously pleased with your ‘credentials.’ “Looks like you hit the jackpot with this one, Steve.”

You hear Steve Harrington, your ‘boyfriend,’ chuckle softly behind you. You’re tempted to turn and face him, but you refuse. He has betrayed you, completely. After three months of dating who you thought was a normal, nice young man, Steve allowed his true personality to emerge. He and his twisted friend Eddie have brought you to a remote location against your will…an abandoned, decaying church. You can’t say for certain what their plans for you are, but it’s obvious they intend to harm you.

Eddie slides a fingertip under your chin, tilting your face upward. Dying sunlight streams through a window on the ceiling. Its rose-tinted glass casts a haunting glow over the room. “See that?” Eddie asks, pointing to the window. “Up there? That’s the only way out of this room-.” He glances mischievously at Steve. “-For her, anyway,” he laughs, then to you, “So unless you’ve got a set of wings I don’t know about...” Eddie moves behind you and abruptly tugs the collar of your shirt downward, splitting the fabric down your back. “…Nope, no wings,” he confirms. Eddie’s eyes feel like snakes slithering over your exposed skin. “…I guess that means you’re dying tonight,” he concludes.

As quickly as it appeared, Eddie’s dark expression turns crudely joyful, a maniacal laughter bursting from inside him. “M’just fucking with you, sweetheart!” he clarifies, but it does nothing to tame the tension in the room. “Something in you is going to die tonight,” Eddie adds, his voice a taunting lilt. “That much is true…”

Steve’s hands close over your shoulders, a familiar touch that had once felt protective. Now, you realize that every gesture of softness, every gentle word from him, has been a lie. Steve’s voice is chillingly calm as he explains: “Your innocence is dying, tonight.” You force yourself to willingly look at Steve. His hazel eyes are filled with a false sincerity. He never cared for you, at all.

Assuming you don’t understand what’s being implied, Eddie chimes in. “We’re taking your virginity tonight, (y/n).” You shake your head at Steve, whose flat expression betrays any sense of remorse. “Why?” you ask, your voice breaking. “Is this because I made you wait?? Because I’m saving that experience…having sex…for my wedding night??”

Eddie laughs out loud at your words; he finds your standards of morality equal parts hilarious and pathetic.

“Christ, Steve!” he chortles. “Where’d you find this one? Behind a pulpit??”

“Trust me (y/n),” Steve tells you. “Eddie and I aren’t doing this because you wouldn’t sleep with me the whole time we were dating. I could have taken what I wanted from you anytime during those three months.” Steve’s lips pout down at you; he’s mocking you now, just like Eddie. “Besides,” Steve continues. “It’s not like I wasn’t fucking around with other bitches the whole time, (y/n). Girls who didn’t have one damn problem spreading their legs for me…”

Eddie slaps Steve’s back in a toxic, macho sort of congratulation. “That’s my boy,” he sings. “Now, let’s get to the best part, Steve.”

Eddie reaches for the front of your shirt and yanks it down, revealing your breasts blooming over a push-up bra. “Well how about that??” he balks. “What kind of virgin wears sexy shit like that under her clothes?”

You glare at Eddie. “Believe it or not, women wear clothes for themselves,” you bite back. “Not everything’s for men and especially not you, asshole!”

Eddie shudders, pretending to be intimidated. “My apologies, y-your highness, your l-ladyship,” he stutters, holding his palms in front of him in surrender. “You got me. I’ll change my ways, I swear.”

Eddie’s open hands close suddenly over your breasts, clutching them firmly, pulling a shocked gasp from your lips. “…But not today,” he grins smugly, continuing to grope you. “Now tell me, did Stevie here at least make it to second base?”

Steve blows a drawn-out raspberry. “Not a chance,” he jeers. “This bitch is as uptight as they come. Barely let me put my tongue in her fuckin’ mouth.” Steve cups your cheek in his hand, making you flinch. “Isn’t that right, baby?” he murmurs, closing the space between you, the tip of his nose nuzzling yours. “You and those fucking standards of yours…But I guess in the end, all your stupid morals made you the best sacrifice of all…”

You lurch back from Steve, right into Eddie’s arms, unfortunately. He spins you around to face him, a sadistic glimmer in his eyes when he speaks. “That’s right (y/n), we’re sacrificing your purity tonight,” Eddie explains. “And the fact that you’re a goody-two shoes little cunt actually makes it all the better.”

“What are you talking about?” you snap. “Sacrificing my purity? Who the hell talks like that? Fucking weirdos-”

“DON’T-,” Eddie shouts, shoving a finger at you. “-DISRESPECT…the RITUAL.” His eyes are like fire; Eddie is seething. “DON’T-disrespect-HIM…”

The sunlight has faded completely by this point. The only illumination in the room is coming from Eddie’s lighter, a thin flame twitching in his unsteady grip.

You stare stone-faced at Steve, your Judas Iscariot, your betrayer, the man whose lies outshine even his beauty. The window blinks above you, lightning flashing nearby.

“Satan,” Steve utters in a low, reverent tone. As if on cue in a cheesy horror movie, thunder rumbles outside the church.

You roll your eyes at Steve, earning you an even harsher glare from Eddie. “Satan?” you parrot back at Steve. “As in, the Devil? Are you serious?”

“-Is this fucking serious enough for you?” Eddie shouts. He pulls a pocket knife from his pants and juts its tip against your throat. “This is how it has to happen. We prayed to Satan, and He told us.”

“Told you what?” you sneer. “That if you fucked a virgin in the sanctuary of an old church, the Devil will give you magic powers or something? You really believe in that kind of shit?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, tugging your arm towards him. “Because it’s real. And you’re about to find out how real it is.”

He yanks you by the wrist, ordering you onto the ground . A bolt of lightning crackles outside, close enough that it makes Steve and Eddie jump. The brief pulse of light illuminates the three of you, and maybe Eddie’s imagining it, but he could swear your eyes look…different. Darker, somehow.

He assumes it’s just a shadow, a trick of the light, and tries to ignore it. Steve pulls at your arm again, trying to force you onto the floor. But you won’t budge. He can’t understand how you’re fighting him; he’s clearly stronger than you are. Thunder shakes the ground beneath your feet, a low hum bellowing from below as if the earth itself is groaning.

“You hear that?” Eddie asks excitedly, his pulse racing. “It’s Him, Steve. It’s fucking Him!”

Wind whips around the old church, its wooden beams creaking like tired bones. Eddie’s lighter begins to flicker in and out; he curses and smacks it against his palm, trying again.

When the flame ignites, its amber glow illuminates only Steve and Eddie’s faces. You appear to have vanished.

“Where the fuck did she go?? She was right-”

“-Well you were the one holding her fucking arm, Steve-how should I-.”

“HEY!” you call from behind the pulpit. Both men whip their bodies to face you, another burst of lightning revealing their wide eyes gazing up at yours.

“H-how did you do that?” Steve asks, his voice wavering. Eddie shakes the bewilderment from his mind, now even more determined to see his plan through. “You little bitch,” he growls. “I don’t know how you did that, how you got up there that fast, but you’re still ours, and we’re still in control!”

Eddie starts for the podium, but finds himself frozen, unable to move an inch. His eyes go wide as saucers, fear washing over his face.

“You both look so small from up here,” you tell them, leaning over the pulpit, your breasts pressed against it. “Small and weak. Pathetic, actually.”

Eddie smacks Steve’s shoulder, telling him to grab you; but try as he might, Steve is frozen in place as well.

The glow from Eddie’s lighter flicks in and out as his hand shakes uncontrollably. “What the hell is this?” Steve asks in a small, timid voice. But Eddie has no answer to give him.

“All those hours the two of you spent praying,” you speculate, getting high on their fear. “I wonder who you were actually praying to? Because it certainly wasn’t me…”

Steve’s jaw goes slack, sweat dripping from his hairline. Eddie wants to know…has to know, if what you’re implying is true. “L…Lord,” he begins tentatively, his voice trembling. “I had no idea-we-had no idea, it was You-.”

“SILENCE,” you order, and Eddie’s lips seal shut. “Bow to your Master, if it’s Satan you praise. Or can you not bring yourself to kneel at the feet of a woman?” A dry laughter rumbles from your chest, filling the room with heat, rattling the church’s bony frame.

Steve and Eddie tremble beneath you. Lightning strikes above the church; you watch its glare in the ceiling window, how it floods the terrified faces of the men at your feet. A tall tree beside the church is struck; it catches fire immediately.

“You bastards would need a taste of Hell, to understand how sick you are,” you tell Steve and Eddie. “Therefore, it’s what I’ll give you.”

The tree collapses against the roof of the church, setting it ablaze. Eddie and Steve whirl their heads to see it, but their feet are still stuck in place.

You remain calm, as if the decrepit old building isn’t going up like a box of matchsticks around you. “Legend says,” you preach to the men. “That the Devil wears a suit and tie…” You lean forward against the pulpit, your black eyes glaring down at them. “…But sometimes, She wears a push-up bra…”

A beam of rotting wood detaches from the ceiling, falling directly in front of Steve and Eddie, blowing dust and smoke into their eyes. As they cough and sputter and try to make out the shape of you behind the pulpit, they realize you’ve vanished. Panic seizes them both as flames draw closer and closer to the place their feet are locked, immovable. Sweat pours down their faces, eyes wide with tears that evaporate as soon as they form. The heat is suffocating, clogging their throats, smoke filling their lungs to bursting…

…And just as the first touch of fire licks at their skin, it STOPS.

Eddie and Steve are laying in the field outside the church, their backs burning, bits of clothing singed off around them. They gulp the fresh air into their mouths, weeping tears that can finally fall, drinking in the rain as it begins to cascade above them.

They watch the church, as the last of its pillars and beams are consumed by fire, brought down to its foundation. Rain puts out the flames remaining, as darkness swallows the area once more. Smoke rises like a prayer to Heaven, along with the tearful utterances of two men forever changed in one night, asking God to forgive them, two sinners grateful to still be breathing…

[envysparkler]

Clark swore he only turned away for a moment but when he looked back, there was a silhouette in the formerly empty corner.  He jumped, inhaling sharply, before he registered the bat cowl.

“Do you have to sneak up on people?” Clark asked, half irritation, half relief as he willed his heart to slow down.  He was Kryptonian, but the Bat of Gotham was another beast entirely.  Clark was giving serious thought to Hal’s claim that the Bat was a spook.

Surely a man like this couldn’t be human.

Batman’s expression shifted imperceptibly under the cowl and Clark could practically hear the terse ‘well maybe if you were aware of your surroundings’.  Batman didn’t voice it aloud, he never voiced it aloud, but the weight of his disdain was apparent.

Clark blew out a sharp breath, “So, what are you here for?”  He tried to remember if there was any activity near Gotham lately—nothing would step on Batman’s toes quite as much as breaking his one rule—

“Kon-El.”

Clark tensed all the way up.  He couldn’t help it, it had been over two years since he’d found Kon, but he was still overprotective of the kid.  With a megalomaniac for a father and the end of a species for his legacy, Kon had a weighty burden to shoulder, and Clark would absolutely protect him from it as much as possible.

“What about Kon?” Clark asked levelly.

“He propositioned Tim.”  The words nearly came out in a hiss and Clark blinked.  Kon had told him of his plan to ask Tim out, Clark’s discreet inquiries seemed to conclude that the boy fancied Kon back, Clark couldn’t see what the problem was.  Tim was seventeen, six months senior to Kon, and he had dated previously.

Which meant that either this was a gay thing or a meta thing.

“So?” Clark leaned back, narrowing his eyes as he kept his voice deliberately casual.  “What about it?  I think they’d make a cute couple.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” Batman hissed, vehement.  Clark narrowed his eyes further.  “It will not happen.  I forbid it.  You will tell Kon-El to stay away from my son.”

“They work on the same team,” Clark pointed out, starting to get angry.

“Tim will be leaving the Titans.”

“Because Kon asked him out?” Clark asked, incredulous.  The sheer overreaction was ridiculous.

“Yes.”

“Does Tim want to leave?” Clark asked.  He didn’t know the details of how Kon was planning to ask Tim out, but it was possible that he’d accidentally offended him.  “Maybe I should talk to him—”

“No!”

Clark stared.  Batman didn’t shout.  Batman never shouted.  Batman certainly didn’t ball his hands into fists like he was contemplating punching Clark.  Whatever this was about, it was causing the man to lose his infamous composure.

“You will not talk to Tim.  Your son,” Batman twisted the word and Clark came perilously close to seeing red—“will not talk to Tim.  This will never happen again.  Is that understood?”

Clark took five deep breaths to be able to speak without shouting.  “No,” he said as calmly as he could.  “I don’t understand.  I don’t know why you’re so upset about this.  If there’s a problem, and if the kids can’t solve it on their own, then it becomes my business—”

“There is no problem,” Batman ground out through gritted teeth.

“That’s not what it sounds like to me,” Clark said sharply.  “I don’t know if this is homophobia or xenophobia, but our kids are doing a better job of getting along than we are, and that’s something to be encouraged.”

Batman was silent for so long that Clark actually got out of his chair to make sure the guy was still there.  “Getting along,” the vigilante said finally, words slow and faintly bitter.

“What?”

“This is about getting along,” Batman said.  Clark didn’t know whether it was a question.

“I guess?” he answered.  Kon wouldn’t have asked Tim out unless they’d gotten to know each other, breaking the long-held isolation of the Bats.

Batman’s jaw tightened.  “Okay,” he said.

“Okay?”  Clark was very confused.

“Okay,” Batman repeated.  “We can…get along.”  Clark stared blankly at him.  “Now tell your son to stop.”

Clark immediately protested, but was sidetracked as Batman pulled off his cowl.  Batman never unmasked even though they all knew who he was, and Clark’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of Bruce Wayne’s glittering gray eyes glaring at him.

“Wait,” Clark said, shaking his head, “I’m not telling Kon to stop.  Why are you—”

“Then what do you want,” Bruce snapped.

“For what?”  Clark was keenly aware that he’d lost the thread of this conversation somewhere and he didn’t know where.

“To call your son off!” Bruce said, face narrowed into a glower, but Clark caught the edge of a crack in his tone.  “Do you want me to get on my knees?  Suck you off?  Fuck you?  You—”

“What,” Clark’s voice was the one that cracked this time, embarrassingly high as he swiftly backed away.  “What the fuck.  What are you talking about?!”

“You said,” Bruce said, and Clark abruptly realized that the terseness to his tone was because he pausing to swallow more often.  “You wanted us to get along.”

“Not like that.”

“Kon-El propositioned my son.”

“Kon asked Tim on a date,” Clark said, voice still too high with dawning horror, “because he likes Tim.  Because that’s what kids do when they like one of their friends!”

“Typically,” Bruce said quietly, and Clark could see the fractures in his eyes, “they don’t also have the power to immobilize said friend.”

Clark stared at him, frozen in shock and horror.  He’d been wrong, then, it wasn’t the idea of his son dating a meta that Bruce didn’t like, except it kind of was, it was the idea of his son dating someone with the ability to overpower him.

“Why would you think,” Clark whispered, “that Kon would ever do that?”  Kon was a good kid, a hero, he loved helping people, if Bruce dared to breathe one word about Lex, Clark would eviscerate him—

But no.  Bruce didn’t say Lex’s name.  He didn’t say anything at all, just stared at Clark with a blank expression.  He looked…tense.  Anxious.  There were dark circles under his eyes and the lines on his face skewed to exhaustion.  He hadn’t relaxed his fists.

Clark walked back over to him, slow and even, posture unthreatening.  When Clark was two steps away, Bruce shifted ever-so-slightly, a flinch, a brace for a punch there could be no bracing against.

Clark stopped.  He turned and sat back down in his chair.

“Batman,” he said slowly, heart heavy and aching, “I’m not going to hurt you or your son.  Neither is Kon.  This wasn’t a—a threat, or whatever you thought it was.”  Because Bruce had clearly thought it was a threat, if he came here to bargain Clark into taking him instead.  “Tim does not have to agree to Kon’s date.  If he says no, Kon will leave him alone.  If he wishes to leave the Titans, he can.”

I am not the monster you so clearly think I am, he wanted to scream.

“If that’s all you came here for,” he said, turning back to the reports, “You can leave.”  Clark didn’t know if he could stop himself from venting his feelings if Batman stayed.

[navstuffs]

two weeks

Pairing: leon kennedy x gn!reader

Summary: "give me two weeks, you won't recognize her."

Warnings: songfic, SMUT SO MINORS DNI, sort sub!leon, confident reader

Author's Notes: if you know this song, you already know what's coming ;) this fanfic is also an ode to my queen fka twigs (so you can imagine the pressure i felt writing this lol). leon is also very lucky with me; first sade and now fka twigs? he is a lucky motherfucker man. enjoy your reading!

my leon's masterlist

"I know it hurts, you know I'd quench that thirst

(I can treat you better than her)

You say you're lonely, I say you'll think about it"

Like most things in your life, it doesn't start the "right" way. Yes, there is a date, but never a proper second or maybe third date, then a kiss. And at a particular stage of life, you didn't think you could seduce or date anyone. Even more so, your partner and friend Leon S. Kennedy. You had lost your touch or never really had one. And he was clearly in love with somebody else.

You had to hear about it occasionally if you decided to join him to drink. It bothered you more than it should, but you could do nothing about it.

And Leon Kennedy had the tendency to only "flirt" as a joke, anyway. 

The smiles, the flirty smiles in your direction. They started here and there, just a tiny detail you didn't think much of, figuring it was just Leon being Leon. Then, the flirting. As if you could call it flirting, the man straight invited you to dinner after you two almost died in the hands of a B.O.W.

Leon's priceless face, when you accept it, makes everything almost all worth it.

"Higher than a motherfucker, dreaming of you as my lover

Flying like a streamer, thinking of new ways to do each other"

Leon is unsure during dinner. You watch his eyes wander around the restaurant, never looking straight at your face. The menu has confusing names with food you have never heard of. Leon had chosen a fancy place he clearly never went, and also somewhere he wasn't comfortable. 

Later, after eating what you think was a snail with a weird tomato, you question why he brought you here. Leon mumbles he never thought you would accept it.

"Why?"

"I guess because you know...my situation."

"I know it hurts, you know I'd put you first

(I can fuck you better than her)"

Ada Wong? Oh, you knew their situation pretty well. You have heard more than once, actually: she and Leon seem to be connected to each other with a certain tension that never seems to die down over the years. This doesn't frighten you; you never ran away from a challenge. You preferred the harder ones anyway.

You wouldn't be stealing Leon from her since he was never his. And even if he was, it didn't matter.

"It doesn't really matter," You conclude, finishing your drink.

"Why not?"

"Because you could be mine at the end. We can't risk that."

The smile Leon gives you is all the answer you need.

"Feel your body closing, I can rip it open

Suck me up, I'm healing for the shit you're dealing"

You are bad, Leon realizes, really bad. It is the way you make him feel pleasure, the way look at him, fierce and daring, as if he is the only one for you. It makes him feel special, unique, like Ada never could. Not because she didn't want to but.

"Hey, eyes on me, Leon."

Your authoritative voice calls him back, and Leon feels a chill. He had only seen you concentrated like this during missions. Looking deadly and calm, Leon Kennedy is your target now. Leon shouldn't have invited you to his apartment, but he was curious. Curious to see how further you could actually go.

How you would make him yours.

It could be enough, Leon thinks, his hand pushing your head down into his hard cock. He likes to watch you suffocate and how good your lips are around his dick, your mouth wet and slippery, perfect for him.

After falling into bed, exhausted, Leon confesses, his face hidden by his sweaty hair.

"This...could work."

You smirk back. You could work with that.

"Smoke on your skin to get those pretty eyes rolling

My thighs are apart for when you're ready to breathe in"

You don't call Leon the next day. Or the other. He calls you on Monday night after a full day of behaving like nothing happened during the weekend as if you two remained just good co-workers.

He comes by your house, and you imagine he will want to finish everything. It would be typical of Leon to get afraid if someone got too close. Leon would apologize and argue it was all a mistake. His kiss as soon as you open the door silences your internal doubts. Leon Kennedy is there, and he wants you.

You take him to your bedroom, clothes falling on the way, and you ignore the little emotion you have when he looks so vulnerable under your palms. You suck him again because Leon Kennedy asks for it. It seems someone has gotten addicted to your mouth. 

"So good. Fuck."

You let him moan and tremble in your bed. A bed that you often imagined you would, one day, have Leon for yourself, just for you. His moans fill up the room, and you suspect you will never be able to sleep again without thinking about it.

"Suck me up, I'm healing for the shit you're dealing

High motherfucker, get your mouth open, you know you're mine"

You are at his house now, almost two weeks since this started. Leon has you under him, back against the mattress, legs spread apart. You look a mess, and he loves it. His hands rub your chest, giving your nipple a good squeeze, focusing on moving his hips against you. The way you liked. Oh yeah, Leon Kennedy, in less than two freaking weeks, knows precisely where to hit.

"Shit." He groans, his mouth open with his eyes semi-closed.

He looks sinful. If there was ever some God of sex around or a demon, Leon would be one of his forms used to seduce people. And he is trembling, shaking, panting because of you.

"Leon."

You must remind him to bring himself back and stop teasing you. He looks at you, and his blue eyes darken.

"What do you want? What do you need? You gotta tell me."

Oh, Leon, you think smiling. Still naive about whom exactly was in control there. He forgets sometimes you are as trained as he is. Taking him by surprise, you shift positions, sitting on top of him. Leon's dick goes further inside you, making you both groan.

"You forget Leon, I don't have much patience."

You watch as Leon Kennedy simply collapses in front of your eyes. It had been like this every night you had been together, Leon's expression changing to pure bliss. You think it was nice seeing him like this as you gently grab his face.

"Come on, you know what to do by now."

Leon licks his lips, moaning your name. He raises his hips up with ease, starting to meet your thrusts. You smile, victorious. After you both cum, bodies trembling, you can feel Leon examining your face as his warm hand rubs your cheek gently.

"We could do this if you still want me."

It is adorable how unsure he is still with himself, although his dick was buried deep inside you. As if you hadn't been banging your brains like crazy those last two weeks. But it is the first time he has been truly open.

You lick your lips, whispering.

"I know you aren't mine yet, but..."

"I want to be."

You look into his eyes, looking for any trace of insecurity from Leon. There was none, just the heavy stare of his confession. Leon reminded you of a younger version of himself, one you saw in a picture, his big blue eyes anxious and his face watching you. You knew you were in danger territory now: Leon was letting you in. 

"We could do this" Your voice sounds vulnerable and different from earlier. More emotional "It will be slow. We will take our time. No rush."

"Yes."

Leon Kennedy opens a smile that has you hide your face on his neck. You want more, much more, but for now, this is enough.

[madlittlecriminal]

Study Buddy ⋮ Leon Kennedy × Female!Reader [a.u]

Request: no, but they are open

Warnings: pure fluff, mutual pining, best friends to lovers, a kiss at the end, they're both in college, he's a bit ooc, im sorry

HES SUCH A CUTIE OMG! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! AHHHHH

You tapped your pencil on your notebook as Leon waited patiently for your answer.

He was helping you study for your next exam that was already a huge part of your grade, but of course, it had to be on the subject you struggled with the most. Luckily, he had the highest grade in the class, and he was your best friend, so it was a huge win for you.

Or maybe it wasn't too much of a win because you tried not to melt when his pretty blue eyes looked over at you expectantly.

Why did he have to be so pretty?!

"Can we take a break?" You asked, making Leon chuckle.

"It's been 10 minutes."

"So?"

He let out a laugh before leaning back in his chair. "If you give me a valid reason, then maybe we can take a break. I do have your favorite snack in my bag anyway."

"I don't know, I guess I'm just distracted." You shrug, making him raise a brow.

"Distracted? What's on your mind?" He searched your face for a hint, noticing how your gaze adverted his.

"Nothing." You lie, sitting up straight and looking over your notes. "Where were we again?"

Leon tilted his head to the side, eyes still on you. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

'Yeah, because it would be so much easier to tell you that I've had a crush on my best friend for so long, not knowing if you feel the same way about me.' You thought as you stared at your notebook.

He rests his hand on his cheek as he waits patiently for you to respond, his eyes scanning your reaction.

"I'm sure." You say, avoiding his eye contact.

"I've known you since we were in high school. If you want to lie, do better than that." He tells you with a raised brow and a smirk.

You gave him a playful glare. "I just don't want to talk about it, Leon."

"If you say so." He says with a shrug. "Just don't expect to have a break until we study for about an hour."

Your eyes go wide. "An hour?!"

Leon shrugs.

You knew he was teasing you.

"You're a pain in my a-" Leon gives you a look before you could finish that sentence, causing you to huff out a breath. "Rear." You conclude, making Leon smile in victory; it's not that he doesn't like swearing, he just doesn't think he's that much of a pain to you.

He patted your head with a smile. "Good to know."

You roll your eyes and he chuckles.

"God, I love you." He says breathlessly.

Your eyes went wide as Leon froze, his smile faltering as he realized what he just said.

Even though you two were best friends, he's never said it like that.

"You do?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you furrow your brows.

He gulps and nods slowly. "I do."

"Really?"

"Yes," he leans toward you with a small smile. "I really do love you." He confesses, resting a hand on your cheek.

You smile at him before leaning into him as well before letting your lips touch his. Leon kisses back, his thumb grazing your cheek softly. You pull away slowly with a smile, eyes searching his.

"So, what are we?" You ask, making him smile.

"I mean, if you want to be my girl, I don't have any complaints about it."

"Then I'll be your girlfriend."

He grins and pulls out your favorite snack. "Well, he's your first snack as my official girlfriend."

You thank him before taking the snack and eating it, making Leon fall more in love with you as you sat there happily eating your snack, the study session long forgotten for the day.

There was always tomorrow to study.

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Sit - Soldier Boy x Reader Oneshot

Summary: Y/N finds herself in trouble when she doesn’t listen to her boyfriend’s instructions. 

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Soldier Boy x plus sized!Reader

Tags: angst, self worth issues, body image issues, oral sex (fem rec), face sitting, face riding, biting, p in v

WC: ± 2.2K

A/Ns: This smutty little fic was commissioned by someone who doesn’t have tumblr, but wanted me to share it with you guys anyway! Hope you all love it! <3

The Boys Masterlist

“We need to talk.” 

Y/N’s eyes widen slightly as she looks up at her boyfriend from her place on the couch, and then a small frown begins to crease into her forehead as she sees the darkness in his green eyes that tells her that whatever this is isn’t good.  

“Okay…” she hesitantly replies, sitting up straighter. “Is everything okay?” 

No, it’s not, he’s had enough of you and he’s leaving. He’s finally realised he can do better than you, that he is so far out of your league you’re barely a spot in the distance.

“No, it’s not actually,” Soldier Boy replies, confirming to her that her inner monologue is right. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at her, making her only grow more and more uncomfortable. 

Just get on with it, she begs him silently in her head.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, timidly. 

“When I tell you to sit, I mean sit,” he explains. 

Only it’s not an explanation at all, and the frown creased into Y/N’s forehead only deepens, as she glances down at the way she’s currently sitting and shifts her weight slightly, wondering what’s wrong with the way she sits and why her boyfriend suddenly has such a big issue with it. 

“I don’t get it, Ben,” she admits, still shuffling in her place. 

“You hover,” he adds, clearly irritated by the very fact. Y/N licks her lips, opening her mouth to reply, but no sound comes out to begin with, and so she clears her throat and then frowns deeper yet. Now she’s completely lost, because she has no idea what Ben’s talking about. “When I tell you to sit on my face I mean sit not hover,” he concludes. 

Y/N’s eyebrows raise, and then a smile begins to curl over her lips, and suddenly she’s giggling to herself. She really thought this was going all wrong, that maybe he was trying to find some ridiculous excuse to break up with her because he didn’t want to just tell her the truth; that he could do better. But now she’s realising it’s got nothing to do with the way she sits on the couch. He’s talking about sex. Of course he is. The thought only makes Y/N giggle harder as the relief floods her entire body. 

“What’s so funny?” he asks, frowning himself now that he’s the one that’s confused. 

“Jesus, Ben, I thought you were seriously angry, then!” she scoffs, shaking her head and relaxing a little, so glad this was just some joke. Jesus, the guy’s a good actor. 

“I am,” he replies stubbornly. But she’s not falling for his teasing any longer.  

“Oh c’mon, it’s no big deal,” she brushes him off, laughing again. “Besides, I don’t wanna crush you, I’m hardly lightweight,” she points out, gesturing to her body.  

Ben’s frown only deepens at her words, and he huffs a breath, staring her down until the smile has faded a little more from her face, and she starts to second guess if he is only teasing, or if he’s actually mad about this. She’s never known the supe to be a huge joker, so maybe she should consider the fact that he’s actually annoyed.

“Are you seriously mad about this?” she checks, just to be sure. 

“Yes,” he confirms with a brief nod of his head. “What’s the matter, you think I can’t handle it?” he challenges. 

“Look at me, Ben, I’m not going on magazine covers any time soon,” she scoffs, shaking her head. “Last thing I need is to suffocate the world’s first superhero to death with my fat thighs.” 

“You flatter yourself too much,” Ben argues back. “You think that’s all it would take to kill me? You just said so yourself, I’m superhuman, I’m sure I can handle it.” 

Suddenly, it all clicks into place, and Y/N realises just why Ben is so upset about this. He thinks that she’s going easy on him, he thinks that she thinks that he can’t handle it. He’s a very proud man, she should’ve known something like this would annoy him. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t point out how ridiculous he’s being. He knows exactly what she thinks about him and his powers. It’s never hurt to call Ben out on his ego trips now and then. She likes to think it keeps him grounded. He does seem a lot more level headed since they started dating. 

“Oh, I see,” Y/N smirks slightly, crossing her own arms over her chest. “I’ve bruised your ego,” she points out. “Ben, it’s nothing personal. It’s just all my exes never meant sit when they said sit,” she explains briefly, not seeing the big deal. 

“Yeah, well until now you’ve only dated boys,” he counters. That’s when he uncrosses his arms and leans down over her, his hands resting either side of her head as he brings his face closer to hers. “You’re dating a man now, honey, so next time I tell you to sit, I expect you to sit.” 

“Yes sir,” she replies sassily, smirking once again before rolling her eyes, but the supe doesn’t smirk back, and she realises he’s once again not messing around. Just the thought actually begins to make her sweat a little. The fact he wants her to stop holding back is quite the turn on. The darkness in his eyes adds to that too, of course. “Next time I’ll sit,” she confirms, with a lot less teasing in her tone. 

Soldier Boy reaches up and grabs her chin softly, kissing her lips briefly. “Good girl,” he husks, before walking away, leaving Y/N dazed and flustered. 

Soldier Boy’s POV

The supe is feeling just a little better that evening as he relaxes back on the bed and amuses himself with the Soldier Boy comic books that had been released during his time away. Though, he’s not too fond of the way he gets portrayed sometimes, like he’s a big baby that runs and hides at the first real sign of danger. Maybe that’s added to his stress, because while he’ll never admit it, Y/N had been right that his issue this morning had mainly been an issue because of a bruised ego. Of course it was a little insulting that Y/N might think he can’t handle a woman sitting on his face. When really, he could think of nothing better, especially when it comes to a woman like Y/N. 

At the thought of her, he hears her humming quietly to herself under her breath as she emerges from the bathroom in nothing but a towel. She smiles over at him softly when she notices him looking, and then proceeds to head over to her dresser, opening her drawer and pulling out her pyjamas. Ben can’t help but notice they’re the silky ones he likes most, and just the thought of seeing her in them starts to get him going. But the thing that really sets him off is watching her slowly remove her towel, using it to dab herself dry slowly, exposing more and more of her perfect naked body. 

He can’t help the soft moan that escapes his lips as he appreciates his view, and Y/N glances his way at the sound. 

“What?” she asks coyly. 

“You know just what that body of yours does to me, honey,” he hums, unashamedly. Y/N rolls her eyes and turns her back to him, but he doesn’t appreciate the view any less, his eyes dropping to her perfect, full ass and her thick warm thighs, and he imagines his face trapped between them and has to reach down to palm over his thickening cock. “C’mere,” he commands with a soft grunt. 

Y/N slowly approaches his side of the bed, still clinging to her towel as she attempts to cover up part of her body with it. The supe is quick to reach out and tear it from her grasp, throwing it to the floor so she’s got nowhere to hide. His eyes rake hungrily over her curves, and he realises it doesn’t matter how many times he sees her, he’ll never grow tired of seeing her. 

“Remember what we talked about earlier?” he asks, peeling his eyes off of her body and looking up at her face instead. 

“Yeah,” she replies hesitantly, seemingly only growing more timid. 

“Good,” the supe grins, shuffling himself further down the bed and throwing his head back. “Then sit.” 

“Right now?” she checks. 

Soldier Boy only has to turn his head and look at her to prompt her into action as she bites down on her bottom lip and begins to climb onto the bed. He can tell she’s still hesitant, slowly and carefully lifting her leg to begin straddling his body, and the supe grows impatient and grabs her thigh, tugging her down almost forcefully as he makes her squeal and giggle slightly. Instantly, her sex is pressed against his mouth, and Ben wastes no time opening up, extending his tongue to push through her folds as he begins to taste her sweet juices. He hums in delight, feeling the full extent of her weight pressing down on his face, feeling utterly suffocated by her and loving every second of it. This is what he’s been craving. 

He laps up every drop she gives him; and she only gives him more and more the longer he toys with her clit, or fucks her opening with his tongue, and while her voice is muffled thanks to the warm, soft flesh of her thighs pressing against his ears, he can still hear her hums and moans of pleasure above him, and he can hear the slight groans and creaks of the mattress and headboard as she holds on for dearlife and rocks her hips to aid him. His arms wrap firmly around her hips, holding her down tighter against him, wanting to struggle to breathe in anything but her and her intoxicating scent, and it works, his cock desperate and throbbing between his legs at the very sensations flooding him. 

When he begrudgingly pulls back for air, he turns his head and begins to bite and suck on the soft flesh of her inner thighs, making her gasp for air and tense them either side of his face, only making him feel even more wrapped up in her. 

“God you taste so good, baby girl,” he growls against her skin, once again encouraging her pussy back onto his mouth, already missing the sweet tang of her juices. 

He feasts on her once more, not stopping until her legs are shaking either side of his head, and she’s trying to speak coherent words, but the only sounds falling from her lips are in broken english and near enough gibberish, until he can feel her walls pulsing inside her, her thigh muscles quivering. 

He moans himself as he pushes his way out from underneath her, leaving her on her knees, supported by the headboard she’s still clinging to for dear life, and he’s quick to kneel behind her, pulling out his throbbing erection and finally giving it some of the attention it’s craved. He places one hand on her hip, his fingers digging into the soft, supple flesh, and keeps her in her place as he shuffles a little closer and teases her pussy with the tip of his cock. She moans, rocking her hips back seemingly instinctively, and Soldier Boy wastes no time teasing the two of them for a moment longer. 

He thrusts forward, feeling her pussy still pulsating from her orgasm, sucking him in perfectly, and he moans, his eyes beginning to roll as he hones in on the rapid speed of her heartbeat. 

“Fuck, honey,” he hums, folding himself over her, “you almost feel as good as you taste.” 

He presses his face into the side of her neck, dragging his teeth along her delicate skin, biting and sucking occasionally, knowing how much she loves that as he starts fucking into her from behind, wrapping his one arm around her front to keep her elevated just right. Y/N moans, reaching to hold onto his arm rather than the headboard as she fucks back into him too, her nails digging into his skin everytime he gets deep enough. 

“Did that feel good?” he asks breathily against her ear. He can feel her nod, but she clearly can’t reply with words, which only makes him feel even more smug. “Good, so next time I tell you to sit, you better fucking sit,” he growls, his cock throbbing at just the thought of next time. 

“Oh fuck,” she gasps out, her eyes fluttering closed. “Whatever you want, baby.” 

[spaceyaceface]

A Black Walnut Wand

Ominis Gaunt x Reader/MC

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: A wand made of Black Walnut can be a finicky thing---if the wielder isn't truthful, whether with themselves or with others, it's power diminishes.

So it's just absolutely perfect when her wand starts acting up right before N.E.W.T.S., isn't it?

Warnings: Little angst I guess

A/N: I was researching wand lore and came across this info and couldn't stop thinking about it's potential to be used in the classic "suddenly she realized she was in love this whole time" so here you go :)

At first she thought it was just stress making her magic go awry. That would have made sense—N.E.W.T.s were fast approaching, and what seventh year wouldn’t be going through hell with exams that would literally define their lives in the not-so-far-off future. But even when she went to Nurse Blainey and got a Calming Draught to try to get a little spellwork practiced, she was still getting nothing. 

It was then she came to the conclusion that something must be wrong with her wand. It had served her perfectly well for over two years—never had she had a single issue with it. Something had changed, and she had no idea what. She couldn’t remember dropping it or damaging it in any way, and a close inspection revealed it looked as good as new. But it had to be her wand—there was no other explanation. 

She tried to hide it for a bit, but it was hard with all of her friends constantly asking to study together. Poppy wanted help with Charms. Sebastian with Transfiguration. And Ominis simply insisted he couldn’t do any studying on Defense Against the Dark Arts without her. Spells she had mastered years ago were suddenly nothing but a sad shower of sparks, shocking each of her friends when they saw it. 

“What on earth was that?” Sebastian said. She had just tried to transform a rat into a tea kettle, but nothing happened besides a small red flash. She buried her face in her hands. 

Ominis sat across from her, his face set in a deep frown. “I still hear squeaking… You said the incantation right, perhaps the wand movement?”

“It’s my wand,” she bemoaned. “I think there’s something wrong with it.”

Sebastian lunged forward, taking the wand from her hand and performing the same inspections she had at least a dozen times over. “It looks just fine,” he concluded. 

She groaned. “I know it does. But I’ve tried everything else I can think of. I must have hit it or something, or… I don’t know.”

“Have you taken it in to Ollivander’s?” Ominis asked. 

“No, I haven’t. What if he tells me I need a new wand?” She frowned at the idea. “I don’t want a new one. I like this one. Or at least I did when it was working.” 

“I don’t really see how you have much of a choice,” Ominis said, resting his hand on her arm. “Not with N.E.W.T.s coming up.” 

Her heart skipped a beat at his reminder. “Don’t say that. It’s just going to make me feel worse.”

Ominis chuckled a bit. “I’m not trying to make you feel worse. I’m trying to talk some sense into you.”

“I hate it when you’re logical.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the two of them. “Get a room, would you?”

She shot him a glare. “I’ll get it figured out soon enough. In the meantime, we can brush up on some theory.”

The three of them kept studying together, and she couldn’t help but notice that Ominis kept his attention at least partially on her the whole time. He kept tilting his head toward her, brows furrowing. She tried not to let it get to her. 

By the time they decided to call it quits, the common room was mostly cleared out. Her head was spinning with all the terms and definitions she was struggling to memorize as she packed up her books. Before she left for her dorm, Ominis caught her arm. 

“Wait,” he said as she turned back to him. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

“Go to Ollivander’s tomorrow, will you?” he said. “I know how much you love your wand. I completely understand the feeling. But… but I wouldn’t want you to fail your exams because of it.” 

She let out a sigh, hearing his concern in his voice. “I know,” she said softly. “It’s silly. He might even be able to fix it. I’ll go tomorrow.”

His shoulders lost a bit of their tension. “Good. If I can help at all, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Her stomach flipped at his kindness. “I’ll let you know.”

He nodded a bit. “Goodnight, then.” 

“Goodnight.” 

They parted ways, and soon she flopped down on her bed with a sigh, the place where he’d held her arm still burning like fire. 

-

She bit her lip as she stood outside the shop, holding her wand and tapping it against her other palm. After a moment, she walked inside, bell dinging as the door opened. 

It was cluttered in there, as usual. Wand boxes filled the cubbies in the walls from floor to ceiling. The front desk was vacant for only a moment before Mr. Ollivander came from the back. 

“Hello, Miss,” he greeted, glancing between her nervous face and the wand in her hands. “I take someone is having some troubles with their wand?”

She nodded. “Yes, sir. N.E.W.T.S. are coming up, and it’s just not working like usual. It’s hardly working at all, I’m afraid.”

“Care to give me a quick demonstration?”

She lifted her wand, pointing it to one of the wand boxes on his desk. “Wingardium Leviosa!” 

The box did not levitate. All that happened was a small trail of smoke leaving the tip of her wand. She sighed. 

“I see,” Mr. Ollivander said, reaching out a hand toward her. “May I?” 

She handed him her wand, and soon he was carefully looking it over. 

“Dragon heartstring,” he said softly. “Nine and a quarter inches, brittle, and… ah.”

She frowned. Was there some crack or something she had missed?

He met her eyes. “The wood is Black Walnut.” 

“Yes,” she said slowly, not understanding why this should have been significant to her. 

“Black Walnut wands are a little picky,” Mr. Ollivander said. “They are very careful about who they choose to align themselves with. They are very attuned to inner conflict.”

A small sense of dread started trickling down her spine. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means the power of the wand diminishes when its wielder practices any form of self-deception,” he continued. “And if the owner is not honest with themself—or others—for an extended period of time, it may not work at all.” 

Her heart dropped. “I didn’t—I’m not trying to—there’s… there’s nothing I’m lying about.” 

“Perhaps you simply don’t recognize it as such yet.” 

She frowned, not able to meet his eyes. “Does that mean I need a new wand?”

“Not yet, at least,” he answered. “I sense this wand’s allegiance still lies with you. But be careful—much longer and it might not favor you anymore.” 

He held my wand back out to her, and she took it with a moment of hesitation. All he said had left her head spinning all the way back to the castle. What on earth had she been lying about? A thought nagged at the back of her mind, but she pushed it away out of habit. No. Not that. It couldn’t be that. 

She felt like she had no more of a solution than she had left with as she sat down in the library, pulling out her books. Might as well study some of the material that didn’t use wandwork, she figured. But she couldn’t concentrate on the words, thoughts still back in the wand shop. Well, they were until a figure plopped down in the seat across from her. 

“Have you gone to Hogsmeade yet?” Sebastian asked. 

She nodded, closing her textbook with a sigh. 

Her friend waited for a moment, expecting her to explain. “...Well?” 

She gave a frustrated shrug. “He told me it’s my wand. It’s made of Black Walnut, apparently, which is a tricky sort of wood I guess.” She frowned. “He said… well he said it doesn’t like to work if someone is… not being truthful.”

Sebastian leaned forward on the table, brows furrowed. “Are you saying your lying about something?”

“Not exactly. I mean, maybe not to you. Or maybe it is. I haven’t got a clue.” She laid her head down on the desk in defeat. “I could be lying to myself. I haven’t got the faintest idea.” 

Sebastian couldn’t help but chuckle at her frustration. “Are you sure you haven’t got any idea?”

“Yes,” she answered. She peeked up a bit, looking at him. “Why? Do you think you know something?” 

“I have some… suspicions,” he said slowly. 

“What are they?” she asked, sitting up fully once more. “Come on, if you think you might know something, you’ve got to help me!”

“I’m not so sure you’ll like my answer,” he said, a smirk on his face. 

“I don’t care if I like it or not. My entire future sort of depends on this.”

“Promise you won’t be mad at me?” he asked.

“I promise,” she said quickly. 

He leaned back in his chair, arms folded. “I think it has something to do with you being in love with Ominis.” 

Her jaw dropped. “I’m not—”

“Don’t you lie now,” Sebastian said teasingly. “That hasn’t really worked out well for you so far, has it?” He nodded down to your wand sitting on the table.

“I’m not lying!” she fired back. “I don’t know why you would say that, I’m not…” 

But even then, she couldn’t force the denial out of her mouth. 

“Right,” Sebastian said, grinning. “Seems like you’re lying to all of us. Yourself most of all.” 

She stood up quickly, the chair she was on making a loud noise as it fell back. “You’re delusional.” 

“Am not.” 

Her hands rushed to pack up her books, shoving them angrily into her bag, glaring at Sebastian all the while. “Yes you are. Whatever you think you see, you don’t. So shut up about it.” She threw the bag over her shoulder, walking away. 

“Good luck with your wand,” he called after her, a slight taunt in his voice. 

She couldn’t get out of there soon enough. 

-

“Confringo!” 

No flames leapt from her wand. Just a couple pathetic sparks, and she let out a frustrated grown. The brazier on the far side of the Undercroft remained stubbornly unlit, despite her repeated attempts to set it ablaze. 

“I take it your trip wasn’t as successful as we hoped?”

She whirled around, seeing Ominis entering the space. After the initial shock, sighed. “No,” she said softly. 

He hummed softly in disappointment, sitting down on one of the crates against the wall. He patted the spot beside him, and she hesitated for only a moment before taking the spot. Her mind was still racing from the conversation she’d just had with Sebastian. It made her feel strange sitting next to Ominis. Which was ridiculous, because she wasn’t…

“I’m sorry you haven’t figured it out yet,” he said softly. She was confused for a moment, wondering if he had read her thoughts, then realized he was talking about her wand.

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure,” she said softly. The tone of her voice gave her nerves away. 

“It will be,” he said, his tone much more reassuring than her own. He tilted his head toward her, and offered a small smile. “You’ve gotten through much worse.” 

“Only because you’ve been there for me,” she said. And she realized it was true. Each time things came crumbling down, he’d been there to lift her back up, even if he did it with sarcastic words and exasperated sighs. It was even better that way, she thought. 

His smile widened a bit. “You’d be helpless without me, wouldn’t you?” 

She could only chuckle, because it was true. 

His expression softened a bit. “I’ll always be there for you.”

And as he said those words, as her eyes traced over the lines of his face she had long since memorized, it hit her. 

She loved him. 

She wanted to look away from him, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t do anything but stare into those blue eyes, wanting nothing more to drown in them—realizing that she’d wanted that for a while now. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms. To feel his lips brush over hers. To spill every last bit of her heart out to him, to fall apart and let her broken pieces get tangled with his. 

“Thank you, Ominis,” was all she could say, voice softer than she had ever heard it. If he thought it was odd, he made no comment.

He changed the topic, bringing up Herbology studies, and she listened to him with a hazy mind. She’d lied for herself long enough. But now the truth might eat her alive. 

-

Sebastian was leaning back in his chair the next morning when she found him in the library. 

“You were right,” she said. 

He nearly fell back, just barely catching himself. “And you’re admitting that? Freely?”

“Don’t make a big deal out of it or I’ll hex you.” 

He grinned. “So is your wand working again?” 

“Not quite,” she admitted. “But I’ll steal yours off of you and use that instead if I’ll have to.” 

He chuckled lightly. “I get it, I’m threatened. See? You and Ominis are a perfect match.”

She blushed, but continued frowning down at him. “Shut up.”

“You need to tell him.” 

Her eyes widened, her stomach churning at the thought. “What?”

“You said your wand still isn’t working,” he pointed out. “If you tell him, it’ll probably fix it.” 

“I–I can’t do that,” she said quickly, panic building up inside her chest. “I’m not going to ruin our friendship over my stupid wand.”

“I don’t think it’ll ruin it,” Sebastian said, smirking a bit. 

“You don’t know that,” she said. 

“I was right about you being in love with him, wasn’t I?” 

“And wrong about just about everything else in life.” 

He crossed his arms, smug look on his face. “Trust me, I’m right this time.”

Her mind raced. Did that mean Ominis would understand? That’d these feelings would ruin what they had? Or was it even possible that he felt… that he felt the same…

She snapped out of it. She couldn’t entertain that thought. It would hurt too much when it was proven untrue. But she knew Sebastian was right. If she wanted even a chance of passing a single one of her exams…

“I’ll tell him,” she said softly, defeated. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

The next few days passed in a blur. Suddenly, exams weren’t a couple weeks away—they were days away. And she was still trying to prepare with a bum wand. 

Because every time she found herself alone with Ominis, her breath caught in her throat. Everytime she opened her mouth to finally say the words, they fled, leaving her mouth empty and her heart aching. 

It didn’t help that Ominis had seemed to want to spend more time with her. He worried more and more about her wand, having absolutely no clue he was the cause of its malfunction. 

It was now five days before the first exam, and Ominis was pacing in the Undercroft as she sat on the ground watching him. She felt horrible having him worry like this when she held the solution on the tip of her tongue, but the task given to her felt impossible. 

“Maybe we should just go get you a new wand,” he said. “There might be a bit of a learning curve, but you’ll be able to overcome it.”

She had to tell him. It was driving both of them mad. “Ominis.”

“It’s pretty late tonight, I’m not sure Ollivander’s is open at this hour. We’ll have to go in the morning.”

“Ominis.”

“I’m sure there’ll be another wand there for you, I’ve never heard of anyone not finding one, but—”

“Ominis.”

He finally stopped his pacing, head tilting to the side as he stood in place. 

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Could… could you come over here? I need to talk to you.”

He tensed up immediately, but did as she asked, coming down to the floor beside her. “What is it?” 

Her knees came up to tuck against her chest. “I haven’t been completely honest with you,” she started. “I… I think I know how to fix my wand.”

His brows furrowed. “You… what?” 

“I know how to fix it. I just don’t know how to do it.”

He frowned. “You know how, but you don’t know how?”

“No! I mean—Merlin, why is this so hard—I know what I need to do to fix it, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to do the thing that fixes it.” 

“I’m lost.” 

She let out a loud groan, burying her face in her hands. “Just… let me start over.”

Ominis sat beside her, patiently waiting for her to gather her thoughts. 

“I went to Ollivander’s a while back, right?” she started.

“Right,” Ominis said slowly. “But he didn’t have much to say, didn’t he?”

“That’s… not entirely true,” she admitted. “He told me my wand is Black Walnut. That it doesn’t work if the wielder is lying, to themselves or others. He couldn’t tell me what I was being untruthful about, of course, which made it pretty useless seeing as I didn’t have a clue what it was about at the time.”

“But you know now?” Ominis asked. 

She was quiet for a moment. “Yes. I figured it out.” 

She looked at him, taking him in in case this was the last time she got to do it. She took in the slight unevenness of his nose, the curve of his full bottom lip. The beauty marks laid out on his cheeks. The one strand of hair that fell away from the rest, begging her to brush it back. 

“I need to tell you,” she said softly. “I can’t lie about it anymore. To myself. To you.” 

He was clearly nervous, no doubt having a million thoughts of what it could be running through his head. She wondered if any came close to the truth. 

“I love you, Ominis.” 

Just like that, she saw all those racing thoughts cease. Her heart pounded in her chest, trying to read every part of his expression, waiting for anger, disgust, betrayal. But it morphed into the last thing she expected—a grin, one of his rare ones that stretched across his whole face. 

And even more surprising, he began to laugh. 

She couldn’t help but be hurt, deciding she rather have had him yell at her instead of laugh at her. She got to her feet, starting toward the door. 

“Wait!” he called out, standing and grabbing her wrist with frightening precision for a blind man. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at what you said. It’s just I’ve been worried sick about your wand this whole time, and the problem happened to be the thing I’ve wanted the most.”

“The thing you wanted the most,” she echoed, turning back to him. He was still smiling, but it had softened. “You… you wanted me to love you?”

“Of course,” he said, stepping closer. His grip on her wrist slipped down to take her hand. “Seeing how I love you, too.”

Her stomach flipped as she took in his face, closer to hers than it had ever been. Ominis brought up his other hand, letting it rest on her cheek. “I’ve loved you for some time now,” he said softly. 

“Me, too,” she said, voice no more than a whisper. “Though I was a bit of an idiot in realizing it.”

“Good thing I love idiots. You and Sebastian prove that plenty.”

She chuckled a bit, but it died on her lips as he leaned his face toward hers. He was only a breath away. 

“May I…”

She didn’t let him finish his question, cutting him off by pressing her lips to his. He’d been caught off guard, but it didn’t stop him from returning the kiss immediately. The hand on her face brought her closer, and his fingers tangled themselves in her hair. Her hands rested on his shoulders, trying to remind herself how to stand properly. Each brush of his lips felt like coming undone. Every touch of his fingertips set her world aflame. 

And when they pulled away, trying in vain to catch their breath, she felt alive for the first time. 

Then a thought crossed her mind, and she groaned, burying her head in Ominis’s shoulder. “What’s that about, love?”

“I’m going to have to tell Sebastian he was right. Again.”

She felt his chuckle rise up from his chest. “A hefty price to pay. But I think it was worth it.” 

He lifted her face to kiss her once again, and she couldn’t help but agree.

[astarionancuntnin]

Undisclosed Desires (Chapter 3 - Ending)

summary: back at your camp, your companions celebrate your findings of the day, concluding this quest. you realize your feelings for the vampire might be more serious than you previously thought, and with the courage the wine gives you, you take a step to do something about it

rating: E

word count: 2.6k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, sorceress tav)

cw: 18+. smut, porn with no plot, denial of feelings gets resolved, porn with feelings, alcohol induced sex, overstimulation, mating press, act 1 astarion might take advantage of tav's vulnerability but we're assuming that he's also already falling for her, possessive sex, creampie, reader admits her feelings, soft ending

a/n: FINAL CHAPTER i never expected to get there when writing the first chapter but i got really invested in the relationship of astarion and how i wrote reader!tav in this one. thanks for all your comments and feedback, and most of all thank you for reading along! <3

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You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine

-

With the lack of visibility from within the dungeon, you never realized how much time you had actually spent down there. It’s only once outside that you realize how long it’s been, with the sun currently setting. Once you finally reach your camp, dusk has fallen and you spot the campfire already lit, with some of your companions surrounding it. Shadowheart spots you as you emerge from the forest path with Astarion, visibly tired, and bolts towards you, taking you in a strong embrace.

“Oh, thank the Gods you’re alright,” she pulls back, grabbing you strongly by your arms and stares right into your eyes, her worry turning into annoyance. “Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for you?! We were expecting you to be back hours ago!”

You smile softly, “I’m okay, really, we just… got into a predicament of sorts. Nothing to worry about, I assure you.” Before letting your friend’s mind wander too far, you pull out the artifact from your bag. “But,” you raise your voice to get the attention of the rest of your companions watching from afar, as you hold the artifact high and wave it to them. “We found the missing piece!”

“Fuck yeah, soldier!” Karlach shouts from her bedroll. “We gotta celebrate!”

Everyone else eagerly agrees and in a matter of minutes, you’re all drinking, laughing, shouting, and dancing around the camp. Except Karlach, of course, her leg still healing from that awful trap she walked in, but she is just as joyful as the rest of you and drinks along, laying on her bedroll in the middle of the camp. She wouldn’t allow a mere injury to keep her from enjoying her friends’ company. 

As the night settles down and some of your companions head to bed, you’re joined by the cleric, sitting down around the fire.

“So, you and Astarion, huh?”

“Ugh, pleaaaase, it only happened once,” you let your head fall between your hands.

“Really? Because judging by the state you arrived in and the new bite on your neck, I would think that–”

“OKAY fine,” you interrupt her. “...twice.” She gives you a playful look. “But it just, sorta happened you know? I swear I didn’t plan this!”

“Oh, I’m sure you didn’t.” She laughs. “I’m just surprised I guess, I didn’t take him for your type.”

“He’s really not!”

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night,” she grins at you.

“I… I don’t even know myself,” your voice softens.

Your vision falls on Astarion who is standing by himself, far from the party, indulging in a bottle of wine by the side of the lake. You keep observing him as Shadowheart continues to talk.

“Don’t you think you deserve to know?”

You sigh. “I was sure I hated him. I probably did at some point. He’s so snobby and pretentious and arrogant and– Gods, he’s everything I despise in a person!”

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I thought the same thing about you when we first met?”

“Well, first of all, rude,” she laughs before you continue. “Second of all… not really, but it wouldn’t surprise me. That’s how people have always seen me. For years, I lived with the fact that I was unlikeable and unapproachable. I never managed to connect with people. I was convinced there was something wrong with me ever since I can remember. I was never able to fit in. But when I’m with him I’m… happy, somehow. Happier than I’ve been for years. For so long, I thought I would never feel any type of attachment to anyone, that I was practically doomed to live alone for the rest of my days. When I’m with him, I forget about all of this. I don’t know how to deal with that.”

You pause and she notices who you’ve been staring at all along. “Have you told him that?”You quickly snap back to her. “Are you insane?! Of course not!” You cross your arms over your chest, frowning.

“Maybe it would be worth giving it a try?” Her tone is soft and caring. For someone who hadn’t known you for that long, she seemed to understand you intimately.

Her question makes you wonder. A part of you wants to see where this would go, it’s true; you were curious about the possible outcome of this relationship. You had made peace with the fact that you would live on your own forever. You were always seen by others as a cold, ruthless sorceress. It wasn’t your fault your powers were stronger than the rest of your kind, but nonetheless, it put you aside from the rest. That, and the only other relationship you had had scarred you from its abuse; you didn't think yourself as someone worth loving, broken by her past, tainted by the only other man she got close to. Traveling with this group of weirdos is the most proximity you’ve had with people for years; a lot of these experiences with people are very new to you. You take one more sip of wine, your last resort to deal with those feelings.

Shadowheart takes your silence as an answer. “You know, you deserve happiness just as much as the rest of us,” she gets up and pats your shoulder. “You should at least consider it,” she says, before leaving for her tent.

You stay there for a few moments, pondering about what she just told you. You take a deep breath and get up to walk towards the lonely pale elf with your wine-induced courage. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

“Hey,” you approach him awkwardly.

“Well hello there,” he turns to you, “to what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

“Just wanted to see how you were faring, after today. Everyone’s enjoying the night, some people are even heading to bed, but I didn’t see you mingling with the others.”

“Oh darling, I’m doing just great on my own,” he gestures with the bottle of wine in hand. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head.” 

“Of course you do.” you roll your eyes. “Well, good. I’m glad.”

There’s a silence shared between the two of you then. You get this strong feeling in your chest that you need to express and yet, you just can’t bring yourself to say it. Everytime you part your lips to say it, the words get stuck in your throat. Maybe you’re not drunk enough to go on about your unspoken feelings. Maybe some things are simply better left unsaid, after all. You sigh and shake your head, abandoning your initial intentions.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to bother you any more than I already have,” you give him a soft smile. “Have a good night, Astarion,” as you turn to walk away, your smile disappears, leaving only disappointment. It quickly turns into surprise when you feel Astarion swiftly grabbing you by your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Wait,” he says. Your eyes meet and you notice a change in his expression, his eyes soften. “I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me, is there?”

“It’s nothing!” You force a smile. “We had a big day, I’m just tired and you must be too, I suppose, I wouldn’t want to keep you from resting,” your eyes fall to the ground, avoiding his glare.

He takes a step towards you, closing the short distance.

“You don’t need to go,” his voice is deeper.

“Listen, you really don’t have to do this, we slept together and it was great and it can just stay like that, there’s no need–”

He lifts your chin up to face him and you stop rambling instantly. You feel your heart pounding in your chest, your eyes locking with his.

“Tell me, what would you do if I kissed you, right now?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

Your eyes flutter open, your breath catching in your throat, “I would kiss you back.”

His eyes fall on your lips and you close your eyes as he lifts your chin higher and your lips collide. He kisses you with a tenderness you never would have imagined, with one hand holding your waist closer and the other moving from your chin to your cheek. You feel as if your heart is going to explode ; you kissed him before, but it was nothing like that. At this moment, time stopped, just for the two of you.

He parts from you carefully, remaining close. Your eyes open up to find him looking at you with his eyes darkened with lust. Given how you felt your breathing quickening and your face burning, you must’ve been looking at him with the same intensity. Finally, you speak up.

“Do you… wanna share my tent tonight?”

He smiles with half-lidded eyes. “I thought you would never ask.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol in your veins giving you the courage, but you find yourself kissing him back eagerly, getting lost in his embrace, and it takes everything in you to actually make it back to your tent with Astarion. The second you’re inside, you’re both removing each other’s clothing, recklessly throwing them away. You drunkenly stumble on your back and try to suppress your laughter before Astarion is over you, kissing you again. First your lips, then your neck, and your chest, down to your navel, and the mount between your legs.

Each kiss from him has you moaning so easily, as if he played you like an instrument. You don’t make the effort of even trying to suppress the sounds you make, you’ll just blame it on the alcohol tomorrow morning. His touch felt so good against your skin, like a healing balm over each wound from your past. His next kiss over your folds has you arching your back, and he grabs a hold of your legs in response, grounding you down. His breath over your pussy sends a river of chills up your spine and you tightly grab onto your bedroll’s blankets for support.

His tongue slipping between your wet folds makes you cry out instantly, as your core is extremely sensitive to any touch in your condition. You try to buck your hips against his tongue and his hold on you only gets stronger.

“Mhh, don’t you wanna be good for me?” He asks, between your legs.

“Y– yes,” you pant.

“Then stay still for me, love.”

His sweet words combined by his masterful tongue plunging into you make you whimper. He devours you as if you were his first meal in days, lapping at your entrance, drinking you in, tasting everything you have to offer. His nose, carefully placed over your clit, teases your sweet spot and you feel yourself nearing your climax. Sensing your desperation, Astarion loosens his grip on your hips, allowing you more movement. Your hands get lost in his curls, lightly pulling them to guide his face over your sensitive area. The build up in your stomach finally releases and you scream as the wave hits you like electricity throughout your body. Your hands fly to your sides, grabbing onto your bedroll for dear life, with the vampire between your legs ravishing you still. 

You cry out, pleading with him as the feeling becomes overwhelming and he leaves your sex to move back up, lifting your legs up in the process. Your lips meet with his, and you taste yourself on his tongue. You get lost in the feeling, messily kissing him back, only parting slightly to allow yourself to breathe. His hands sneak down to grab your wrists and pin them next to your head before burying himself right into your cunt. 

His thrusts are slow and deep, hitting the back of your hole every time. By now, you’re a panting mess, you’re seeing stars, and the only words leaving your mouth are his name, over and over again, each time more jumbled than the last. 

“I do love the way you say my name,” he murmurs.

“A– Astarion…”

“Just like that,” he purrs. “You’re doing so good for me.”

“Astarion…”

“My good girl.”

He pauses between his thrusts, getting stronger and stronger, and making you moan louder and louder. With his last stroke, he dives teeth first into your neck, drinking you in. He drinks from you like a starved man, his pace becoming ruthless. You feel him growl against your neck, his teeth sending a vibration through your skin, before removing his fangs from you. He picks up a punishing pace, drilling into you.

“You’re mine.”

“I’m… yours…” you barely manage to get the words out.

“Go on, be a good girl for me, tell everyone who you belong to.”

His words of praise send you over the edge again, you feel as if your soul was leaving your body, with your back arching into him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head and the air leaving your lungs as you scream out his name. Your cunt squeezes his cock and with a last hit, he releases himself inside of you, growling into your ear as he does so. His thrusts become erratic, filling you with his seed. You’re completely overwhelmed and your body trembles with the sensation. Astarion stays still inside of you, your warmth around his length providing him some sense of security as he comes down from his own high. He lifts his head up carefully, and his hands leave your wrist to hold your face instead, your foreheads barely touching.

You felt like in this instant, you could forget about all the misery you experienced, and with him, you could start anew ; he made you feel whole in so many ways.

“Darling? Are you alright?”

With your head between his hands, he strokes your cheeks tenderly, wiping the tears from your exhausted eyes as you admire each detail in his expression. 

I think I’m in love with you. The words resonate loudly in your head. 

He chuckles softly, “Of course you do. How about we leave the love confessions for when you’re less inebriated, hm?”

Loud enough to leave your lips, it seems. If he didn’t answer, you would’ve believed you only thought about saying those dreaded words.

You hum and feel the weight of the day crash upon you and fatigue taking over you as Astarion holds you close, lulling you to sleep.

—

The next morning you awaken, and you're surprised to find Astarion still wrapped tightly around you.

His skin is warmer than usual, probably a result from sleeping skin to skin with you. After your confession from last night, you were scared he would leave you in the middle of the night, like the first time you slept together. You’re glad to find him still cuddled up next to you. You’re aware elves don’t normally sleep, but he seemed so peaceful, his face was relaxed and you could trace his smile lines next to his lips, and his curly hair slightly falling over his eyes.

Too afraid to end this precious moment, but still wanting to be closer to him, you nudge yourself into his arms, your nose touching his chest. You’re unsure if he’s conscious, but part of you thinks it would be better if he wasn’t. Relishing this moment of comfort with him, you mumble your next words against his chest.

“I’m… not expecting you to say it back, but I meant what I said yesterday. I don’t know where this’ll go, but I know I want to be with you.” 

You feel his arms hold you tighter against him.

You sigh in relief. Whether his movements were intentional, whether he heard you or not, you’re glad to have finally gotten that weight off your chest.

Maybe you can learn to be happy again.

-

I’ve never felt like this before

My heart knew I couldn’t

And then you take me in

And everything in me begins to feel like I belong

Like everybody needs a home

And when I take your hand

Like the world has never held a man

I know I cannot heal the hurt

But I will hold you here forever

If I can, if I can

[teawithnosugar]

Young One

Guitarist!Ellie x Singer!Reader

CW: angst/no comfort, mentions of drinking, cheating, mentions of abuse, smoking, mentions of self-harm, depression??? WORDS: 2.2k SYNOPSIS: Your band has a reunion years after you and the guitarist have a nasty breakup (Modern AU) SONG: Mind Over Matter (Reprise) - Young the Giant

"Mind over matter I'm in tatters thinking 'bout her"

AN: Yall wanted this 😭 I’M SO SORRY FOR THE RUSHED ENDING BTW, I CHANGED IT SO MANY TIMES AND EVENTUALLY JUST GAVE UP. Also, I have no idea if this is how bands work, I just based the first half off of one of my favorite movies 😭😭😭

The band had disbanded years ago, to the public, it was due to creative differences. You all remained silent as your old manager spoke to a man who came to discuss an upcoming music festival. The real reason for the disbandment remained a vivid memory, etched deeply within everyone's mind. The tension between you and the brunette was palpable, an unspoken rift that even a fleeting glance couldn't bridge. “For fuck’s sake Ellie, we’re in the middle of a tour. You have the worst goddamn timing”

“I cheated on you and all you can think about is the timing? The tour? Are you kidding me?!”

The words still echoed in your ears, in her ears.

You were all invited to this meeting because you were invited to play at one of the biggest music festivals in America. Numbness wrapped around your being as you sat, not far from the woman you love loved.

“…they’re asking you to play 11 songs, your hits.” the man finished saying. Your old bandmates looked at each other before a chorus of “yeah, sure” “I’m g” broke out. Even Ellie agreed. Then, like an unwavering spotlight, all eyes fell on you, including those green ones you longed to claw out. Slowly, you turned to face the man.

“How much are we being paid?” you asked, your tone devoid of emotion. A ripple of surprise swept through the room. Your brow raised, “What?” you asked, a tinge of annoyance seeping into your voice. It was a simple question, after all.

“Nothing…it’s just…you never asked stuff like that before. You always let me and Ellie talk about the money.” Jesse said softly, trying to laugh off how nervous he was when your cold gaze flickered from him and back to the man.

You scoffed, “well, this isn’t just any gig, you’re banking on our past and history here, that’s a big deal so I’m assuming we’re going to be paid well for this? I’ll only do this if the price is right” Your words lacked warmth, causing your bandmates to tense, while your narrowed eyes remained fixed on the man, who promptly nodded. “Y-yeah, usually headliners are paid 4 million so I’m guessing that’s what they’ll give you.” he stammered, his nerves palpable. You nodded slowly, mulling it over for a moment before agreeing. The meeting concluded, and the day melted away, seamlessly transitioning into the next, and then the next, until it was a day away. The band delved into rigorous practice sessions every day, preparing for the forthcoming festival. Bitterness veiled your every move, but you didn’t complain, just doing whatever you were asked to. During rehearsals, Ellie caught sight of the familiar haze clouding your eyes and the tight grip on the microphone as you sang. The only time she had seen you this way before was during the month of mourning when your mother passed away, a time when she stood by your side, pulling you from the abyss threatening to engulf you. She yearned to be there for you now, but the weight of guilt from that night years ago prevented her from even meeting your gaze. You had never sung again after leaving the band. Each song you had penned for the group carried echoes of her, and performing those melodies, born from one of the most beautiful periods of your life, took a toll on your weary soul. All the pain and longing that you hid under your anger for years surged forth, threatening to consume you. Your gaze pulled towards her during breaks, and smoking sessions with the band, but neither of you talked unless it was important. You remained silent in the corner, a lit joint held between your fingers, as the others laughed and bantered. Your eyes stared blankly ahead, and Ellie couldn't help but worry. Every time you lifted the joint to your lips, the sleeves of your shirt would slightly retreat, briefly revealing old and new scars. She wished she weren't the sole witness to the depth of your current pain, she felt she had no right to care or help. She had no idea what happened to you during the years you didn’t see each other, but your pain was as clear as day, at least to her. Because no one else here knew you like she did, and that filled her with all kinds of pain and regret. When the band split up, she continued making music, coping with the heartbreak in a healthier way than you did. She released singles and albums but you refused to listen to them. You refused to subject yourself to songs about the various women she encountered. Yet, you were mistaken, for they were all about you, each one an apology. She was able to put her pain on paper and in music while you had nowhere else to put your pain. You refused to write or sing songs because every verse that came to your mind was entwined with her, and you couldn't bear to immortalize the woman who had betrayed you. So you kept everything locked inside. When you found yourself rotting away at a job you hated, you remained silent. When you moved in with your abusive brother, you remained silent. You couldn't share your struggles with anyone, because they weren’t Ellie. She was the only one who understood you, at least that’s how it was in the early days of your relationship. Sighing softly, drowsiness washed over you. You stubbed out the joint and leaned your head back onto the wall, drowning out the voices of your high bandmates.

You were all at a bar, just hanging out after a successful concert. All your bandmates were by the bar or on the dance floor while you were seated on a couch, writing in your notebook. Ellie, growing weary of watching you engrossed in your notebook, felt a heaviness settle in her heart. Her heart grew heavy when a fan approached her and started flirting with her because you saw and didn’t even bat an eye. She couldn’t help but feel unimportant to you, a feeling that had plagued her for months as the band's popularity grew, causing you to neglect her more and more. She missed your touch, your attention, you, and there she was, a girl offering everything she wanted from you. In a drunken haze, she succumbed to temptation and led that fan back to her hotel room. She told Jesse to tell you she wasn’t feeling well and went back to the hotel. You initially didn’t plan on leaving the bar so early, knowing she’d probably be better in an hour so you weren’t that worried. But you wanted to show her some of the lyrics you were able to come up with at the bar so you walked to her hotel room a few hours after she left. The hotel, a grand establishment adorned with marble walls and elegant chandeliers, exuded an air of opulence. As you approached her door, poised to knock, it swung open before you. Eyes widening, you beheld a disheveled beauty, her hair tousled, makeup smudged, and attire askew, being pushed out by your girlfriend who’s eyes were just as wide as yours. The girl awkwardly left, leaving you two to stare at each other in silence. She was the first to speak. “Y/N-” You scoffed, interrupting her as your features blend of sorrow and anger, a shield you donned all too often. Weary, she groaned softly, pleading, "Please, let me explain." “Are you fucking kidding me!?” your eyes narrowed. “I can’t fucking believe you.” Sneering, you turned, striding towards the elevator. She followed, desperate to mend what had been broken. “Look I’m sorry but you’ve been busy for weeks and I got lonely, I know that’s no excuse but c’mon, we can fix this.” she pleaded, her words hanging in the air. “For fuck’s sake Ellie, we’re in the middle of a tour. You have the worst goddamn timing” you said, voice overflowing with anger and hurt but you refused to shout or scream. Your words made her pause. “I cheated on you and all you can think about is the timing? The tour? Are you kidding me?! Do you even love me?” Her voice rose, taking a step closer to you, bridging the distance between you, and you were cursing the elevator for moving so goddamn slow. Heart pounding, eyes shut tight, you whispered, “fuck….I can’t do this…I’m leaving.” Her scoff pierced the air. “Fine! Leave!” she retorted, consumed by a fit of fury. You met her gaze with narrowed eyes. "Fuck you, I quit," you retorted bitterly, striding out as the elevator doors revealed the lobby. Racing out of the building and calling for a cab. Once your words settled in her mind, she ran after you. You were already in the cab though, telling the driver to go to the airport. All she could do was pound on the window, her cries desperately begging you not to leave her. Ignoring her pleas, you busied yourself with messaging Jesse about the situation and to pack your stuff for you cause you were going home. “Y/N!” “Y/N!” “Y/N”

Your eyes fluttered open to see Ellie, kneeled in front of you with a raised brow. She masked her nervousness and sadness, striving not to let them surface. “You okay?” she asked, a question that had echoed between you countless times in the past. In that fleeting moment, an overwhelming surge of tears threatened to spill, the urge to tell her that you weren't okay, that you needed help, welled up within you. Yet, mistaking her nonchalant tone for apathy, you stifled the tears, offering her a brief nod. Hastily, you rose from the floor, realizing that you and Ellie were the sole occupants left in the room—everyone had already left. You rushed to the door, accidentally knocking down her guitar in the process. You awkwardly picked it up, pausing to look at your initials engraved in the back along with hers before putting it back against the wall.

You slowly turned to her, but once you saw that look on her face, the one that told you she yearned for you and that she was there for you, you let fear take over and guide you out the door, out the building, and to your house.

The next day you all traveled to the festival, hours going by fast as you all waited for your turn to perform. With your band slated to close the show, you sat in your chair, donning a tight, short black spaghetti strap dress and long black gloves to cover scars and bruises while two girls tended to your hair and makeup. Through the mirror's reflection, your gaze locked with Ellie's, her worried eyes fixed upon you, barely registering Jesse's attempt at conversation. Realizing her distraction, Jesse glanced in your direction, then back at her, he shook his head at her and gave her a knowing look.

Once you reached the last song of your set, you were already near tears. It had been years since you allowed yourself to be so vulnerable, pouring your heart into songs about the woman standing beside you, strumming her guitar for thousands of onlookers, after having been emotionally distant for far too long.

Ellie sensed it, as you sang, your eyes shimmering with a glossy sheen, your grip on the microphone so tight that your knuckles trembled, and your arms quivered ever so slightly. You were losing it and she just wanted to hold you.

“You know you’re on my mind?”

As you hit one of the higher notes of the song, you turned a little sideways, so you were still facing the crowd but you could now lock eyes with her. You both got lost in the moment, consumed by the passion embedded in your melodic words and the strums of her guitar.

“And when the seasons change Will you stand by me? Cause I’m a young one built to fall” As the song ended, whispering the last few lyrics, the crowd cheered loudly, but you heard none of it. The violent ringing in your ears overpowering the noise as an emptiness settled within you.

You didn't know how or when you arrived there, but numbness slipped away as reality crashed upon you. In the backstage bathroom, your back pressed against the wall, Ellie's body pressed fervently against yours, lips moving violently against the other. Your arms wrapped around her neck as her hands gripped your hips tightly. You hated how happy you felt when her lips first met yours a few minutes ago. All the memories from years ago where you’d find yourself in this similar situation after concerts came back to you. It was so similar but so different—her lips, her skin, her taste—all held a haunting familiarity, overwhelming you in this moment. Her lips trailed down your jaw and neck, leaving light marks upon your skin. Then, it struck you—the image of her hands on that other girl, her lips on that other girl—and your heart broke all over again. So you shoved her away.

Her eyes widened, a string of apologies tumbling from her lips, but you tuned it out, the all-too-familiar ringing returning to fill your ears.

“fuck….I can’t do this…” those familiar words left your lips and she realized what was happening, you were walking out again.

She stood there, her heart racing wildly, tears streaming down her face, as you ran out, unable to halt the flood of emotions. She finally got to hold you for the first time in years, only to watch you slip through her fingers once more. Her skin tingled, clinging to the lingering touch of your presence but you weren't even there anymore.

The next time she���d ever get to see your pretty face again would be in pictures from online articles on how you died that very night. "Another young one lost"

[millilps]

fuck it, we ball clown

so. Susan. Susan Triad. it was all a set up to trap the Doctor. all the mentions of Susan (Foreman) were just to give context to the new viewers. but you know what's interesting here? family.

"wtf are you talking about are you high or something" no no bear with me I actually have a point it's not just pure clowning. well, it is, but I swear I'm trying my best here to make it make sense

it's a long post so buckle up clowns we're going all in with this one

so, I was saying, if you think about it a lot of episodes in this season are more or less centered around or connected to the idea of family in some way:

Space Babies: I mean. yeah. it doesn't really need an explanation. and also the whole thing of being abandoned just like Ruby

The Devil's Chord: we know Maestro is part of the Toymaker's family, and technically also the kid we see at the start? I think? are there theories about that kid? is he just a normal kid and then became somehow the harbinger of Maestro?

Boom: the concept of family literally saves everyone

73 Yards: well, Ruby's family is present in the episode, but also it's interesting how Ruby's fears play out in the episode which is directly interlocked with her birth mother abandoning her, it's kinda there but not as central or as explored as other episodes

Dot and Bubble: it's... a bit more subtle. it's there, kinda. we do have the whole thing of all the people in Finetime being part of rich families, and we also see Lindy's mom, so it's better than nothing

Rogue: I actually don't know. the family of Chuldurs? the marriage proposal? I have absolutely no idea but I also feel like it's there somewhere

The Legend of Ruby Sunday/Empire of Death: I probably don't have to say much as they are the episodes that actually dive in Ruby's story and the mystery around her birth, but yeah the family theme is obviously there

with the season following this theme, more or less, Susan was an obvious choice.

think about it: the Doctor has lost so many people he cared about that Sutekh pretty much could use every name ever. obviously they also had to explain regeneration to new viewers (hi, new viewers! hope you're enjoying the show!) so the list had to be shortened to only characters who are time lords or have the ability to regenerate, add a bit of "the Doctor regretting his past choices" and you get Susan. and this is tied directly with the theme of family, because she is the Doctor's family, technically the only gallifreyan family member we know about (Jenny, River, the Ponds and probably more that I'm forgetting/don't know about are also family, but in a different way) and also we have no informations whatsoever about her - sure, we have Big Finish, but it's kinda... not exactly canon, I guess? idk. nothing is canon and everything is canon at the same time in this show, you just have to live with it. still, she's one of the biggest mysteries of this show, because while other characters came back or were mentioned with information about them and/or their lives either in the expanded universe that is more strongly influenced by the show (yes I'm looking at Barbara and Ian's wedding in the 50th anniversary DMW that I can't find anywhere, idc what anyone says but that IS canon) or in the actual show at some point, she has never officially returned, and the Doctor has never officially gone back to meet her (sure, we have the story Fellow Traveller in the book Adventures in Lockdown, but it's probably not canon anymore at this point - although, it could be, if we clown enough). and with all the things about family in the season, obviously she had to be the key.

Ruby's family story is concluded: she found her birth mother, she also found her father, and now she has an amazing big loving family. but you know which one isn't? the Doctor's. we've met his adoptive mother, sure, but we know the Doctor had kids, we know Susan exists, and we know she's family to him.

she's out there somewhere. I know. she must be. she could've been mentioned in a lot of different episodes, a lot of different points, a lot of different stories, but she wasn't.

so why all these mentions all of a sudden? honestly I have absolutely no idea, I'm not RTD, I'm just a clown doing clown things, and the clown things on today's list is making theories about how Susan might come back

[gayf1hoe]

A Risk Worth Taking

Scenario: When Y/N meets Zane the driver he will be working closely with at his new team he can't help but have strong feelings for Zane. But he's cautious of the repercusions their relationship can cause.

“Everyone I would like to finish the pre-season talk by welcoming the new number 2 mechanic Y/N L/N who is joining us from PREMA and he will be working on Zane's car primarily but if you ever need any help with the assembly side of things, he's your man”. 

When I applied at the end of last year for the role of number 2 mechanic at Rodin I wasn't expecting to get it considering I only had 2 years of experience at PREMA, but to my genuine surprise I did get it. 

Many people ask how I managed to get to such a high position within a team at such a young age and that's because I didn't go to university and joined PREMA on an apprenticeship that my good connections within the sport managed to get me. 

I always knew I wasn't going to stay at PREMA forever and decided that Rodin was the team I wanted to work for because I have heard nothing but positive things from their staff. I also don't plan on staying in Rodin for too long as at some point I would like to somehow get into F1 mechanics. 

The talk concludes earlier than expected, much to my relief because I was one of the only people without a seat so I have been standing up for the past hour and I'm unable to feel my legs at this point. I take a moment to introduce myself to a few people that are nearby but I have met quite a few people already as I have spent the winter break getting settled in and making some developments. I'm yet to meet Zane, the driver who I will primarily be focused on although I must say his performance last year was amazing so I can't wait to work with him. I start making my way back to my office when I hear someone shouting my name from the opposite end of the corridor and it is followed by the tapping of feet echonicing through the empty chamber like corridor. 

I turn around and I am greeted by a man who has the biggest smile I have ever seen. And I can't lie, he's kind of cute. I have never been this up close with him before as the only time I have seen him has been on the screen or for a split second in the F2 paddock where I was always frantically rushing around trying to sort out some sort of issue that had been delegated to me. 

“Hi I'm Zane, but I guess you already know that” 

“I'm Y/N” I say, extending my hand. 

There is a brief moment of silence and I try to conjure up something impromptu to say to disperse the awkwardness but the only thing I can come up with is:

“Would you like to come to my office and we can go through the assembly for this year's car” 

I expect him to decline the offer as he probably has much better things to do with his time, but to my genuine surprise he agrees and we start walking towards the mechanics office engaging in a light level of conversation about our winter break. But Zane spent his travelling and I spent mine in the factory sitting at a desk helping the designers.

As I unlock my office door I quickly make an effort to tidy up the plethora of paper that has shrouded the bottom of my desk, and I pull out a seat for him to sit in front of the computer. 

I take him through the design of the car briefly explaining some things, normally this would be delegated to a separate department and normally mechanics don't have much say in the build of the car but this is F2 and we have to save money where we can and its worked out so far so there's no need to change something if it works well. 

His cologne is strong yet pleasant and it inundates my nose. He's sitting quite close to me and I can feel his light breathing against my neck as he leans closer to look at the screen in further detail. 

We spend an hour talking generally and about the car and he eventually has to leave for a meeting with the PR team and I'm left in my office alone so I take some time to do some admin work like emails ahead of testing. 

Everytime I sit back in my chair I can't help but remember how close Zane was to me, breathing on my neck and resting his arm against mine. I have no idea what to think about him. It would be unprofessional of me to think of a driver as attractive and yet I can't help but feel I'm starting to. 

“Hi Y/N just to let you know that you need to come in a bit earlier today as there's an issue with the car that needs sorting” 

That's the last thing I want to hear after strong testing performance and a great FP1 and FP2. I wasn't meant to be at the track until qualifying starts but apparently there's an issue with Zane's car that has caused him to retire from FP3. 

As I arrive in the garage everyone looks stressed out of their minds and there are hundreds of people pacing up and down the garage. It doesn't take a genius to work out the issue as the entire engine is exposed as the carbon fibre had been ripped off the car. 

When things like this happen you can't just shove a new piece on the car you have to take photos, measurements and look at the data to work out what went wrong so we can prevent it from happening again otherwise if It continues to happen we are just wasting money. 

After about 35 minutes we worrk out that whoever put the panel on didn't fasten it correctly and used the wrong screws that caused it to become loose and then when air started getting under the gap it created a lot of pressure that ripped the carbon fibre off the body of the car. 

It's a quick fix and after I have confirmed it has been done correctly this time and signed a hundred different sheets of paper I head into the trailer to find some food. As I enter the dining area I see Zane sitting by himself eating his food so after I collect mine I approach him. 

“Can I sit with you?” I ask apprehensively. 

“Of course” he replies, moving some of his stuff to enable me to put my plate down. 

“So did you manage to work out the issue with the car”

“Yes and it's all fixed and ready for quali” 

I don't know if it's the Australian heat or the nerves but I can feel myself heating up and I start to feel like I'm standing next to the sun. 

My feelings for Zane have become pretty clear to myself now and everytime I see him I have to look away to hide the fact that my face turns into a shade of red everytime he speaks to me. 

We are soon joined by Ritomo and a few other mechanics and I take this as my chance to escape and avoid them catching onto the fact that I am with Zane every 5 minutes although some are suspicious one of them said to me “you and Zane are always together you must be close” that's when I knew I had to make it less obvious but Zane doesn't help he's always speaking to me even if I pretend to be doing something. 

Zane has a great qualifying session and manages to secure a P2 start with Ritomo starting P4 so it's overall a good session for the team, but we all knew coming into the weekend that we had good pace and were going to be strong. We were just unlucky to miss out on pole by 0.003.

As I'm covering the car with a mandatory FIA blanket to ensure we don't change the car Zane enters the garage and approaches me.

“Y/N would you like to go for a drink tonight” 

I look up to see a FIA technical delegate intensely staring at me so I ask Zane to wait just a second. 

We go through to the back out of earshot of the delegate in this industry. Everyone is in everyone's business and they will sell any information to make some money. I don't trust anyone, specifically the FIA. 

“Zane I would love to but I don't think it would be appropriate or professional of me.” 

“Then let's not tell anyone” 

I think for a moment with every worst case scenario flashing through my mind. 

“Fine let me get changed out of my uniform and I will meet you in the car park” 

I get changed into my regular clothes and manage to locate Zanes's car in the labyrinth of other cars. But as I do I see the head of HR walking as well and can just imagine what he would say if he knew I was going out to drink with a driver. If it was as a team it would be fine but as it's just us he would have questions, luckily he doesn't see me. 

As I sit in the car I turn to him and say

“We really shouldn't be doing this”

“What it's just two friends going for a drink what's so wrong about that”

We end up in a bar not far from the track but it's surprisingly empty. We said we would only stay for one drink but one drink soon turns into two then three then four and that's where I lose count. 

I wake up to the sun piercing through the windows illuminating the room causing me to let out a whine of pain as a wave of agony sweeps across my head. I feel a heavy weight on my left hand and see Zane fast asleep. I then avert my gaze to the floor where I see my clothes that I was wearing last night and another set of clothes that I assume belong to Zane. 

I frantically try to find my phone and realise that I should have woken up an hour ago. The adrenaline of panic makes me instantly forget the pain in my head. I quickly jump in the shower and brush my teeth at the same time. 

When I got out I pulled my work clothes out of the closet and threw them on my hair still dripping with water. Somehow through all my chaos Zane has managed to stay fast asleep so I go over to him and nudge him, with water droplets from my hair landing on the side of his face. 

He stirs and mumbles  “What?”

“You need to get up I'm going to be late for the mechanics meeting and you are going to be late for the engineering meeting” 

Upon hearing that he shoots up grabbing his phone and looking at the time whilst simultaneously exclaiming “shit”.

I don't have time to wait for him and if we are late together it will look very suspicious, before I leave I put on a pair of sunglasses “to protect my eyes from the sun”. 

I make it will 30 seconds to spare and the seasoned mechanics are laughing at me as I'm out of breath and doused in my own sweat one of the approaches me and says

“We have all slept in once and missed a mechanics meeting so don't worry” 

The meeting goes well and before the feature race I take some time to do the final car checklist and that's when Zane comes behind me and places his hand on my back causing me to jump a little.

“You can't touch me like that in the garage. What if someone sees?”

“You worry too much we are both adults and what happened last night wasn't a mistake I really enjoyed it” 

I can't help but sigh and think this man is going to get us into trouble. 

[bellatrixobsessed1]

I Am Blackened Bones (Part 25)

Truth be told, Azula doesn’t understand why humans like squeezing things that they cherish. She just knows that, that is what they do. And that is why she holds Katara. She holds her until Katara says that she is ready to be let go. And when she pulls away, her cheeks are flushed. Azula’s are not. No more than the color that the nippy weather brings to them. 

“What was that for?” Katara asks. She seems confused but not displeased.

Azula shrugs. “I like you.” She likes her very, very much. “Why do people squeeze things that they care about?”

“Are you talking about hugs?" Katara chuckles. “Silly question, of course you are.” 

“Why?” Azula asks again.

“Well why did you do it?” 

Azula considers for a moment. “Because that’s what I’ve seen everyone else do when they want to show people that they care about them.”

“Well…” Katara ponders. “I guess that it’s a way of telling someone that you don’t want to let go of them or lose them. I also think that a lot of people just like being touched and close to another person.”

Azula nods. 

She does like touch. 

She likes hands; how they fit perfectly together, how fingers interweave. How smooth they are. How warm they are. Katara’s of course are stuffed into mittens and so are her own and that makes it a little more difficult. Azula takes one of her hands anyways.

“But what about the other Azula?”

“What about her?”

“Shouldn’t you ask her before…” she lifts both of their hands. “And before you, sort of, kiss me.” 

“She doesn’t mind.” Azula says. “She likes you too. I think.”

“You think or you know?”

“I think.”

“If you’re going to be kissing me, I need you to know.” Katara replies. “Let’s head back, you look like you’re about to get frostbite.”

“But I wanted to go to the top of the glacier.” “We can save that for another day. Let’s get both of us warmed up.”

.oOo.

She had only just grazed the woman’s ear but Azula can still taste Katara on her lips. Can still feel the flutters in her tummy and the tickles in her throat. It isn’t lost on her that the spirit had backed down so that she could know what that is like; so that she could get the full force of it all. That feeling like a sudden plunge into icy cold water, exhilarating and terrifying. That feeling that is so similar to lightningbending. 

That spirit is clever when she wants to be and she has taken at least a portion of Azula’s wit. 

But she is making things so terribly messy. Messy and awkward. She does things that Azula wouldn’t dare. She says things that she would never say out loud and in an open, authentic way that she never would. 

And maybe it is right, maybe she is the foolish one. 

Maybe that is why she is alone and the spirit is loved.

Does that bother her?

At first Azula thinks that it doesn’t. Love is just one of those goals that the spirit has and she doesn’t. Or so she had initially thought. But if the desire hadn’t been a part of her for a while now then there would be nothing for the spirit to have latched onto. There was a part of her, there had always been a part of her that craved affection.

The spirit took that part.

The part that remains with her is the part of her that fears affection.

The apprehensive part. 

And so Azula comes to conclude that she is the worst part of herself and the spirit is everything that she could have been if she hadn’t been used and abused. The spirit is the good that everyone had tried to see in her. And now that that part of her is semi-severed…

Suddenly she wants it back. 

Wants it and all of the things it can’t help her become. Even if she looks like a fool, fumbling her way through emotions that she does not understand.

Maybe she wants to understand. 

Maybe it would be good for her. 

It almost certainly would be good for her. 

She stares into her bowl of five-flavor soup. 

“Not hungry?” Katara asks. 

She is plenty hungry but she, at the same time, has no appetite. She forces herself to pick up her soup spoon and dip it into the broth. 

“Are you alright?” Aang asks. 

“I’m fine, Avatar.” 

“You can call me, Aang, you know?” 

She is pretty sure that he has told her this before. “Okay, Avatar.” 

“Or Avatar.” He grumbles, “if that’s what you’re comfortable with.”

For now it is. She doesn’t know him particularly personally. And he doesn’t know her very well…aside from, of course, what knowledge that he gleaned from looking into the maze of her mind.

She is relieved that she hadn’t become so attached to Katara at that point. She wonders if he would be so keen on friendship if he knew that she wanted to romance his ex-lover. The woman that he almost married. 

.oOo.

It is a night later when Katara bursts into the room and asks, “do you want to see something amazing!?” 

“I see amazing things every day!” Azula says. Lots of them, almost all of the time, really. 

“But this is extra special.” Katara promises.

“Like the glacier?” 

“Like the glacier.” Katara confirms. “But much better. In fact, I was thinking that we could go back up there to get a better look.” 

Azula perks up—at last, she will get to trek upon the glacier’s top! “I would like that, very much.” With those six words they are traveling over the bridges and up the stairs again. For the most part, their route is the same as it was the day before. Until they take a right and head up a much larger set of stairs. Large enough that she is breathless by the time that she makes it to the top of them. Although she does believe that she is finally starting to get a grasp on how to plant and position her feet in order to avoid slipping and sliding on the ice. 

It is incredible! The view from up here; glimmering white hills roll as far as they eye can see and far beyond. It twinkles and glistens under silver moonlight. And she swears that she can see a polar bear-dog lurking just in front of one of several towering ice formations. There is definitely a gathering of penguins beneath an icy arch, marching in a uniformed huddle through that natural gateway. 

Her face lights up. “Thank you for showing me this, Katara!”

Katara laughs. “Believe it or not, that’s not what I brought you up here to show you.” She strikes a match but it quickly burns out.

Azula tilts her head.

“Can you help me with this?” She gestures to the firepit. “I know that you can’t firebend right now. But I can never seem to get a match going, maybe you can?”

Azula kneels down and takes the match between her fingers. She is not helpless. She can do this. The other Azula lets her dip into their shared reservoir of skills—only because she doesn’t want them to earn anymore burn scars, or so she insists. 

It is only after they get their fire going that Katara says, “now look up.” And Azula does.

“What are those?” Azula gasps. “They’re so…” they seem as though they belong in the spirit world. They shift and move like spirits, delicate and whimsical. Playful and enchanting. Perhaps even a touch mischievous. 

They have colors and they have voices and those voices hum to her, a tinkling melody, a soft lullabye. Each color sings a different note and at a different pitch. Red is the lowest and slowest of them. Pink is the highest and has a mighty whistle. Green makes a gentle tinkling sound.  And the snow flutters downward. Swirling in lazy spirals that imitate those curtains of light.

“Those are the northern lights. We have them in the south too but we call them the ‘Southern Sky Currents’, instead of the ‘Northern Sky Currents’. My mother and I used to watch them all the time when I was a kid…” She trails off. There is something somber in that. Something sad.

Something that coaxes her to hug the waterbender again.

Something that matches that little spot in her mind. 

The space that is occupied by the other Azula. 

The Azula that has seen so much hurt and so little of these wonders.

And so the spirit decides to let her have her turn.

.oOo.

She emerges with skeptical reluctance. It is indeed a dazzling, charming moment. One that she can ruin so easily if she says the wrong thing. So Azula says nothing at all. The spirit, slips back into her mind and leaves her to navigate this on her own. 

And what a position she has left her in, with her arms around Katara. 

“Are you happy?” Katara asks. 

“I think so.” She says. She has never seen anything like this before. She never imagined that she would. She rests her chin on Katara’s shoulder and looks from the firelight to the sky. And then from the sky to the tundra and the ocean where the lights reflect. They cast their mesmerizing glow upon the snow, bathing it a soft green-red. Its hues bounce off of the ice structures. And in a way, they are everywhere; the ground, the sky, the sea. Katara, perhaps unthinkingly, leans into her. That is how they remain for the longest time, until the lights begin to fade.

And how they stay for a good while after the lights end their dance completely.

“That was, very…” amazing, wondrous, enchanting, ethereal… “nice, Katara.” 

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it.” She agrees. Her hands cup over Azula’s and Azula’s heart flutters. 

Flutters both pleasantly and mournfully. Pleasantly for the experience that she is getting and mournfully in that it isn’t truly hers. “Would you be sad?” 

It takes Katara a moment but she does piece things together. “But you are back, aren’t you?”

“I mean for good. No more spirit. Just…just me.” 

“That’s what we were trying to accomplish, wasn’t it?”

Azula rubs her hands over her face. “But you like it better when the spirit version of me is at the forefront, yes?”

“Does that bother you?” She asks, shrugging out of Azula’s hold. “You never liked me before….you hated me.” 

It shouldn’t sting as much as it does that Katara won’t let her hold her now that she is the truest version of herself. “I don’t hate you now. I think that I should but…”

“But you feel everything that your spirit side feels?” Katara guesses.

Azula nods. 

“That must be confusing.”

Another nod. “Terribly.” She admits. 

Katara swallows, “and how exactly does spirit you feel?”

Azula thinks that she already knows the answer. “She…I…” her brow creases with frustration. Finally she settles on, “she likes you, a lot.” She pauses. “She…” she furrows her brows. “She loves you. She was alone for a long time and you were comforting. You said the right things at the right time. Did the right things…”

“And you?”

Azula is quiet for the longest time. “You still say and do the right things. But you treat me differently than the spirit. You’re scared of me.”

“Azula…”

“I want to come back. I can. I’m stronger than the spirit and I think that I can snuff her out if I try hard enough.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

Azula holds her silence again. “Because you all like that part of me more. The part of me that has no memories and no damage. The blank slate. Maybe I think that I should just let go and let her push me out. She’s happier anyways.” But she had been happy, hadn’t she? Just as excited as the spirit had been when she had her chance to see those dancing lights. She can be happy. Perhaps not untroubled and carefree like the spirit. But she can feel delight.

She can feel warmth and affection.

“Or maybe you should keep trying to figure out how to merge with her. Without mazes and spiritbending.”

“You…you would want that?”

“I don’t know if I’d like that. But if I’m going to fall in love with you I think that I should love every part of you, not just the silly, innocent part of you.” 

Azula’s heart thumps, she feels somewhat queasy, maybe even light headed. “You love the spirit…me?”

Katara brushes Azula’s bangs out of her face. “I’m not sure. Maybe. This is really sudden.”

Perhaps it does feel that way for her. But for Azula it has been steadily building since they’d found her in the jungle. 

“But you wouldn’t be upset if it was just me and only me?”

“Azula, if things go the way that they’re supposed to it won’t be only you. It will be both you and the spirit all the time. The way that it’s supposed to be. And…” She pauses as though considering if she should continue or not. “You’ll probably be a bit different than both versions of you.” She gives another pause. “That’s who I’d like to fall in love with, if anyone at all.”

[chevelleneech]

I do not mean to kickstart any drama by saying this, but I’m actually kind of gagged at how Tkkrs in 2023 were right about Jimin and Jungkook not seeing each other as much.

Under a cut, because I talk too much. But also, it’s not as bad as you might think, lol.

They were wrong about them hating each other and it all being fake in the past, but they kind of did hit the nail on the head about them being too busy to hang out, and saying a real couple would make time for each other.

However, is it not crazy how things turned out? Jimin and Jungkook didn’t just continue to grow apart. They didn’t become awkward former best friends who are settling for being band mates and nothing else. They realized their relationship needed mending, and intentionally started making time for each other.

Do y’all get what I’m saying? JM and JK went from always being together to not, and Tkkrs took that to mean they have always been faking it. Only for JM and JK to realize they don’t like being apart, and chose to once again always be together.

And I guess I bring this up, because I’m actually shocked that Tkkrs got something right, while at the same time seemingly got it very wrong. Not to mention them having said Tkk never grew apart and their conversation during ITS1 was faked by the company. Because how did they notice Jikook’s shift but not Tkk’s? And does that question answer itself? I’d say yes, because it kind of proves JK and Tae’s issues weren’t big enough to be noticed by fans at large.

Tkk went through whatever they went through, talked it out for a bit, and are now still the best of friends. Jkk went through whatever they went through, and it changed their behavior enough to be noticeable. Changed things enough to where they had to put in effort to readjust, and that effort concluded with them choosing to spend 18 months together. No matter what any of us think they’ve got going on.

I don’t know. I feel like this explains a lot about what makes Jikook different from Tkk. And Tkkrs being the ones to double down on what makes a relationship real means they maybe do know what to look for, they just refuse to look in a different place. Because their “Real love isn’t meant for the cameras!” existed in Ta*nnie. We didn’t know anything about them until their privacy was invaded. And their “A real couple makes time to see each other!” is currently being expressed through AYS, with JM and JK making time.

Shits crazy.