#such a unique tradition that even though several european places never like

[1800duckhotline]

marza lore growing when i think she'd have the su crappolu mamuthones mask. considering that despite the differences re: the development of the town, she'd still respect the castiadores enough to want to give her own mask to altea at some point (the daughter of one of the sisters that like ran away years ago) because altea is Made to be a leader... a guardian... she gifts her this mask and then finds out altea, being a woods craftsmaker or however its called, already tried making it 2 times

mask in question:

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: one of very few albums that I think is truly perfect. John Foxx’s second solo LP, The Garden, is a masterpiece of Medieval mysticism, romantic longing, and modern electronics. Transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! In this installment, I’ll be looking at a classic sophomore album, and one which epitomizes the principle of taking one’s sound in a different direction the second time around: The Garden by John Foxx, first released in 1981.

While The Garden was Foxx’s second release as a solo artist, it’s also his fifth LP overall, as he had spent the late 1970s fronting the original incarnation of Ultravox. Foxx’s Ultravox was an eclectic mix of influences from glam, punk, and, of course, electronic pioneers like Kraftwerk, but it would be the latter of these ideas that dominated Foxx’s solo career. His 1980 solo debut, Metamatic, is some of the purest, starkest, and harshest minimal synth around, and remains one of the most iconic early works of the subgenre.

Music: “Underpass”

If you want more like Metamatic from Foxx, you’ll want to skip ahead to the 1990s, because he turned his back on this thin and aggressively inorganic sound remarkably quickly. While he would produce several more LPs in the 1980s, the group of them seems to grow progressively lighter and softer, with less blistering analogue synth, and more radio-friendly love themes. But while Foxx’s third and fourth efforts are often panned, The Garden has actually won nearly as many fans over the years as Metamatic, proving itself to be powerful in its own ways, despite its radically different aesthetic. Where Metamatic dealt in brutalist city blocks and Ballardian psycho-sexuality, The Garden takes place in moldering cathedrals, embracing Gothic splendour and (imagined) Medieval emotionality.

Music: “Europe After the Rain”

“Europe After the Rain” opens the album, and also served as its lead single, becoming a relatively minor hit in the charts. As we hear it, we immediately become aware that Foxx has abandoned the instrumental palette of Metamatic, made almost exclusively with an ARP 2600 synthesiser, in favour of something more lush. On “Europe After the Rain,” traditional instruments like acoustic guitar and piano are impossible to ignore, though the constant bass synth ensures we never forget Foxx’s roots either. It also seems to be a major thematic leap away from Metamatic, with its tender and romantic feel. Still, that may not necessarily be all there is to it--the song is presumably named after a famous painting of the same title, by the Surrealist Max Ernst, executed in the early 1940s as World War II was first beginning. Ernst’s painting is a sort of apocalyptic vision, in which crumbling structures are overtaken by vegetation, and two figures wander through it, seemingly passing by one another. Perhaps Foxx’s “Europe After the Rain” is also a theme for a devastated landscape, its lovers meeting again the last survivors of some nuclear holocaust? Maybe it isn’t too far away from the themes of crushing modernity employed on Metamatic after all.

Note, as well, the emphasis on “Europe,” conceptually--The Garden is, at least partially, a sort of search for a new European cultural identity. The Garden fuses electronics, and hence Europe’s characteristic technological achievements, with a love of more traditional European cultural ideals, namely, the aesthetics of Medieval Christianity. For evidence of that idea, look no further than its most obvious apotheosis, the track “Pater Noster.”

Music: “Pater Noster”

“Pater Noster” is, of course, a setting of the Latin-language translation of the so-called “Our Father” or Lord’s Prayer, one of the most popular and well-known texts in Christianity. “Pater Noster” is the album’s most obvious love letter to the Middle Ages, but an informed listen will show that it has little to do with actual music from that era--I actually could forgive the synthesisers, which might be analogized to the role of church organs, but the percussion-propelled nature of the track is what really makes it feel ahistorical to me. Despite the religious themes of The Garden, Foxx always averred not being any sort of authentic believer in religion or God, and maintained that he was interested in the traditions of the Church purely on aesthetic grounds. Whether you think this sort of appropriation is appropriate and respectful or not, it’s certainly one of the album’s prominent themes, and part of what makes it feel as unique as it does. While I’ve emphasized the themes of romanticism and religiosity, it’s also worth noting that The Garden is not a complete break from Foxx’s earlier works, and in its return to a more guitar-driven sound, it often winds up riffing on something not unlike punk.

Music: “Systems of Romance”

Astute followers of Foxx will have already noticed that the track “Systems of Romance” shares its title with the third and final LP he released with Ultravox, in 1979. Apparently, it was written that much earlier, though it wouldn’t be seen to completion until several years later. Combining a hard-driving guitar, played by Foxx’s Ultravox bandmate Robin Simon, with the inscrutable, sensual, elemental lyricism Foxx employs throughout his mid-80s oeuvre, the track “Systems of Romance” really feels like a bridge between 70s art rock and 80s avant-synth-pop, moreso than anything else on the album. Much as “Systems of Romance” extracts a certain prettiness from punk, so does the aesthetically-oriented “Night Suit,” which plays with appearance, deception, and masculinity.

Music: “Night Suit”

“Night Suit” is the track on The Garden that I feel is the most exemplary of its own time period, a mysterious ode to a mystical garment that could almost feel at home on an album by Visage. The Garden is interested in “romantic” themes, but “Night Suit” truly feels at peace among the New Romantics. It’s got some of the most “believable” rock influences, with a prominent guitar riff from Simon, and yet its emphasis on the power of fashion and appearances, destructive, and perhaps even supernatural, is hard to imagine in a genuine punk context. As it implores us to “be someone” or “be no-one,” it’s easy to fit “Night Suit” into one of the major themes throughout Foxx’s career: the tranquility and liberation of personal anonymity. Why is the “Night Suit” a suit in the first place? The song wouldn’t make sense if it didn’t deal with a garment that is also a non-garment, something to wear that feels default, neutral, and unassuming--not to mention classically masculine.

On the cover of The Garden, the main thing we see is, well, a garden. Despite Foxx’s more obvious personal presence on the albums before and after The Garden, it’s easy to miss him here, dwarfed by the scale of nature that surrounds him. It’s almost like the album is more meant to be about this place, and the concept of “the garden,” than it is Foxx as a person, or any particular perspective of his.

While the actual capital-R Romantics were deeply interested in the “sublime,” and the scenes and moments in which mankind faces its vulnerability and insignificance when compared to the natural world, it’s also worth remembering that a “garden,” by definition, is really not a natural space at all, but rather one which is arranged by human hands. Even if this composition resembles those of Romantic painters, I think it’s worth looking earlier in the European past to interpret this one. Gardens were one of the most prominent symbols in Medieval literature, and scholars have suggested that they serve as symbols for sensuality, romance, and the yoni itself. Through the association with the Garden of Eden, gardens often represent a sort of lost, but longed-for paradise, and a return to innocence which is as tantalizing as it is impossible. In particular, “Europe After the Rain,” with its theme of lovers meeting again after the passage of some time, seems to connect with this idea.

In hindsight, The Garden really stands alone in Foxx’s career, a masterpiece whose precise style he would never attempt again. We might say it became that Garden of Eden, to which the artist could never return. While Foxx’s interest in Medieval spirituality would return on ambient works like Cathedral Oceans, and he would occasionally return to love songs with an electronic backing, the precise combination of lovelorn bardistry with a flair for the baroque that appears on The Garden remains totally singular. Foxx’s follow-up to this album, 1983’s The Golden Section, narrows its thematic focus towards poppy love songs, and its instrumental focus, likewise, is that of a fairly unremarkable mid-80s synth-pop record. But at the same time, I like to think that tracks like “The Hidden Man” manage to maintain a sense of the mystical.

Music: “The Hidden Man”

My favourite track on The Garden is “Walk Away.” While it lacks the severe and tragic grandeur of the album’s title track, which closes the album on a lofty note, “Walk Away” shares some of its delicate qualities, reviving the soft piano that we heard on “Europe After the Rain.” Thematically, “Walk Away” seems to deal with fragility and transience, and the grave significance that a brief, passing moment may have--which makes that “delicateness” feel all the more poignant in context. Its call-and-response outro, featuring one of Foxx’s most anguished vocal performances, really makes it a stand-out. That’s everything for today--as always, thanks for listening!

Music: “Walk Away”

[dwellordream]

“...The Dothraki are described as having three main weapons: bows (AGoT, 86, 555, 558, 597, 669), whips (AGoT, 86, 194, 493, 555, 596, 669) and a curved sword called an arakh (AGoT 85, 86, 327, 493, 555, 556, 559, 560, 596, 597, 669, 674); of these, the arakh is clearly the most prominent... When a Dothraki warrior enters Vaes Dothrak, each, “unbelted his arakh and handed it to a waiting slave, and any other weapons he carried as well” – after the arakh, the other weapons are seemingly afterthoughts (AGoT, 327). The prominence of the arakh in the narrative is underscored by the fact that it is the only one of these weapons whose name we learn in Dothraki, or which is described in terms of its shape or special function (AGoT, 85), while the bows and whips remain just bows and whips (ironic, as it was Steppe bows, not Steppe swords, which were unusual).

We might dismiss this as simply an accident of Daenerys’ perspective – that, being Westerosi, she focuses on the weapon most meaningful to the Westerosi – but that’s clearly not true. After all, the offering of an arakh is how Daenerys’ loyal followers demonstrate their fealty to her, in a ceremony that is clearly Dothraki, not Westerosi (AGoT, 674). It is also, I should note, the only weapon we see non-Dothraki using that is clearly identified as being foreign and typical of the Dothraki. It remains special through the eyes of multiple point-of-view characters, including military men.

(And, as an aside, now that we are this far in, it seems obvious but worth saying that the fact that Martin has no Dothraki viewpoint characters in his narrative is hardly a saving grace; it merely intensifies the ‘view of a savage culture from outside’ effect. As we’ll see, this makes perfect sense given what seem to be the actual inspirations for his depiction.)

The prominence of a curved iron (or steel) sword lets us rule out a Great Plains Native American inspiration for this kit right out; the sword was never a significant part of Plains Native American armament (the lack of tool-metal production in the Americas prior to European contact means that there was no indigenous sword-making tradition, although the maquahuitl represents a clever sort of ‘sharpened club’ design). Even after contact, it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that the expense of trading for a sword wouldn’t have been justified by its utility over a steel axe which might also double as a tool (on axes, see W. Lee, “The Military Revolution of Native North America: Firearms, Forts and Politics” in Empires and Indigenes (2011), 62-3). So we must turn to the Eurasian Steppe.

And immediately we run into problems, not that any of these weapons are wrong per se, but that their proportion and prominence is all mixed up and that there are other, far more important weapons missing. For a Steppe nomad, by far, above and away, the most important weapon was the bow. The Armenians literally called the Mongols “the nation of archers” (May, Mongol Art of War, 43). Nomads spent the most time learning the bow (May, op. cit. 42-49) and it was the one indispensable weapon. Indeed, so indispensable that nomads were generally required to have several; the Liao Shi records that Khitan nomad warriors were required to possess four bows and 400 arrows, while John de Plano Carpini reports that the Mongols all needed to have 2-3 bows and three larger quivers (May, op. cit. 49-50). The Steppe bow itself would also have looked unusual in both shape and construction to a Westerosi observer either strung or unstrung – they were composite bows, made with a wood core, a backing of horn and a rigid end-piece (called a siyah in Arabic) and were generally drawn with the use of a thumb-ring to reduce strain on the thumb (May, op. cit., 50-1). This unique construction allowed these bows to reach draw weights and launch energies equivalent to the far larger yew longbows of England and Wales and still be compact enough to use from horseback.

...But even after the bow, the sword is not first. Or even close to first. Or, indeed, even on the list! The Khitan regulations I mentioned included four bows, two spears (one ‘long’ and one ‘short’), a club, an axe and a halberd, but no sword. John de Plano Carpini describes the full kit as two or three bows with quivers, an axe, ropes, and swords only for the wealthy (May. op. cit., 50). Speaking more broadly, May notes that spears (used as lances from horseback) seem universal in accounts of the Mongols, but “accounts are contradictory regarding whether these [swords] were universally used” (May, op. cit., 52). While May supposes that the ughurgh-a, the Mongolian lasso, might have been used in combat – and it may well have – we have no definitive evidence of it. If it was ever a weapon, it doesn’t seem to have been an important one.

In short, while the Dothraki’s weapons are an arakh-sword, a whip, and a bow in that order, the Mongol’s chief weapons were his bow, followed by his backup bow, followed by his other backup bow, followed by his spear, and then his axe and only then followed by a sword, should he have one, which he might well not. The reason for preferring an axe or a spear for the humble nomad should not be too surprising – iron in quantity could be hard to get on the Steppe. Spears and axes are not only weapons, but also useful hunting and survival tools; swords are generally weapons only. Nomads generally cannot do their own metal working, so swords would have to be imported. Moreover, even in a melee, the first recourse would be to a spear, whose reach on horseback was a huge advantage, making a sword an expensive imported foreign luxury backup weapon with no additional utility. Nevertheless, it’s clear that Steppe nomads, once successful and moving into agrarian areas, liked to acquire swords – swords are effective weapons! – but the sword was about the furthest thing from the core of Mongol culture the way the arakh is practically the symbol of Dothraki culture.

The other issue, of course, is the arakh itself. Martin describes the weapons as “long razor-sharp blades, half sword and half scythe” (AGoT, 85) and goes back to that scythe analogy (e.g. ASoS, 245). It seems generally asserted that what Martin means by this is something close to a scimitar (I have to confess, I haven’t found anywhere that Martin says this, but I’ll take the reader consensus). A scimitar of some sort (the term refers not to a specific form of sword, but a whole family of curved sabres, almost all originating in Asia) is the correct sword. Mongol swords were, John de Palno Carpini tells us, “pointed at the end but sharp only on one side and somewhat curved” (May. op. cit., 50), something like a Turkish kilij or a Persian shamshir (both forms of scimitar), though given his description, perhaps not as strongly curved as some of the examples of those types.

I have to admit, ‘scythe-sword’ (ASoS, 245) is a really strange way to describe most of the weapons in the scimitar ‘family’ (which includes a number of different curved sabres from Asia), though. A scythe-blade faces the wrong direction, but it is also sharp on the wrong side – scythes are sharp on the inside of the curve, whereas scimitars are sharp on the outside of the curve. There are swords with sharp edges on the inside of the curve (I tend to class these as ‘forward curving’ swords due to the direction of the curve when the sword is held), such as the Greek kopis, the Spanish falcata and the Nepalese kukri; of these, only the kopis seems to have been a cavalryman’s weapon (Xen. On Horsemanship 12.11). These forward curving weapons, being shorter and stockier, are clearly not what was intended by the arakh, which is consistently described as long (e.g. AGoT, 85, ADwD, 884).

Instead, the scythe metaphor fits the overall framing of the arakh, a weapon “better to cull the infantry ranks without breaking stride,” a “murderous blade against half-naked foes,” (ADwD, 884), a “wickedly sharp scythe-sword” (ASoS, 245), ineffective against armored opponents. Not an elegant, fine weapon, but a cruel ‘murderous’ one, made for ‘culling’ unarmored infantry and peasants, as one reaps wheat or hay. I don’t want to push this point too far – in all of these many pages, the arakh simply doesn’t get enough characterization to make the case watertight – but the characterization it does get all seems to push in this same direction: a murderous weapon for a murderous people…which of course fits with effectively all of the other characterization the Dothraki have been given. On the balance, I think Martin is a skilled enough writer to understand the implications of the scythe-sword description and to have intended them (and then subsequently reinforced them).

Nevertheless, credit where credit is due, while the place of the arakh is entirely out of all sensible proportion with how it would be considered by actual nomads, it is the correct sort of sword for a steppe nomad (if we assume it is, in fact, a scimitar of sorts). That said, prioritizing the arakh belies a fundamental misunderstanding of how Steppe (or Plains Native American, for that matter) warfare and culture worked. Placing the arakhat the front is thus indicative of deeper problems.”

- Bret Devereaux, “That Dothraki Horde, Part IV: Screamers and Howlers.”

[aion-rsa]

15 Best Resident Evil Bosses and Monsters Ranked

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You don’t go 25 years with a name like Resident Evil without introducing a good mix of macabre monsters primed to haunt the nightmares of players everywhere. At their best, these frightening beasties make you want to run away and hide, challenging you to use your limited resources wisely while trying to survive the night. Even at their worst, any Resident Evil monster worth its weight in viscera will still have you gawping at just how disgusting it appears. Eugh!

With the release of Resident Evil Village and the arrival of nine-foot-tall vampire Lady Dimitrescu, we thought it worth ranking the 15 scariest monsters in Resident Evil history. That’s right – not even a top 10 would be good enough to do the creatures of Capcom’s iconic survival horror franchise justice.

15. Ustanak – Resident Evil 6

Resident Evil’s much maligned sixth entry has a lot of problems, we’ll admit, but one area where it does succeed is in its litany of boss fights. While the game features four interconnected campaigns with plenty of unique enemies, Ustanak breaks away from the crowded roster of other monsters thanks to his relentless pursuing of Jake Muller and appearance (however brief) in almost all of the featured storylines. As far as bioweapons go, he’s also one of the most mean-looking, boasting a tank-like physique and threatening mechanical claw. 

You’ll fight Ustanak multiple times as part of Jake’s Resident Evil 6 campaign, first within a wintery Eastern European town as he clambers from chopper to chopper to get to you, then as part of a team-up with Leon in a shipment yard, before eventually finishing him off in a fist fight as boiling lava bubbles below you. Very much following the Nemesis template of growing persistently stronger, Ustanak is easily one of the redeeming elements of Resident Evil 6’s overt bloat.

14. Comms Officer/Scaghead – Resident Evil: Revelations

The mutated Comms Officer in spin-off title Revelations is one of the first major hurdles you come across. After learning that Chris isn’t aboard the Queen Zenobia, Jill is forced to venture into the bowels of the cruise ship, and this oversized piece of sludge is the only thing standing in your way. Taking down this two-headed behemoth involves getting him close to the various gas cylinders littered around and firing, all while keeping his many ghoulish minions at bay.

The comms officer’s human half is where the monster is at its weakest, so by placing a few well-timed sniper shots in this area players shouldn’t have too much trouble. Even still, only having a limited number of windows to jump through and tight passages to go down makes him a real problem early on. That’s why it pays to be patient (as well as smart) with this lumbering mass of goo. 

13. Regenerador – Resident Evil 4

Capable of regrowing any limbs you shoot off with relative ease, the first time you encounter a regenerador in Resident Evil 4 is easily one of the adventure’s scariest moments. Though Leon is by this point well-equipped, and without Ashley as his tag-a-long helper, these sludgy beings are still quite the challenge, as they continue chasing you unless you equip your thermal vision and target their specific weakness points.

An enhanced version of the Regenerador greets you a little later in the form of an Iron Maiden. This hellish creature would enjoy nothing more than to hug Leon and impale him on the long nails that protrude from its flesh. You have to be sure to not get to close and maintain your distance, all while targeting the leech-like Las Plagas cells scattered all over its body to make it out safely.

12. Executioner – Resident Evil 5

It may have been the entry that saw the series swerve fully into action blockbuster territory, yet Resident Evil 5 also features some extremely unsettling monsters that still haunt us to this day. One of the first you come across are the handful of executioners who look and act exactly as their name would suggest. These immense figures have pins sticking out of their arms and wield a deadly axe, one swing of which is enough to turn Chris and Sheva into nothing but jam.

The executioners pose a real problem early on in Resident Evil 5’s campaign, as your weapons are severely underpowered, and you’re only given limited space in which to lead them around. Hold out for long enough, though, and you’ll manage to avoid the edge of their blade, only to encounter a more imposing version of them later on in the Desperate Escape DLC. It’s here where their axe is now laden in flames and primed to roast your skin.

11. Licker – Resident Evil 2

Arguably not just one of the scariest but also one of the most iconic monster designs to come out of Resident Evil, lickers are known for their ability to move fast, climb walls, and trip players up using their incredibly far-reaching tongue. The lickers’ one weakness is lack of sight, which Leon and Claire are wise to take advantage of when exploring the zombie-infested R.P.D building. Sometimes, however, these brain-exposed mutants are simply impossible to avoid, forcing you to outwit them and stay at a distance. 

Believe it or not, lickers are thought to be an advanced form of zombie. These particular subjects were designed to be even deadlier bioweapons. We’d say they succeeded. While lickers are easily dealt with in most of the games (provided you know what you’re doing), their arrival is always unsettling since you need to remain quiet, often while trying to contend with other undead threats. 

10. Lisa Trevor – Resident Evil 

Altering an existing game’s story or structure is always a tricky prospect. On the one hand, you want to be true to what fans know, yet at the same time sprinkle in a few surprises. This was the case with Lisa Trevor’s debut appearance in the 2002 remake of the first Resident Evil game. She isn’t just a ho-hum boss fight, but rather a fully formed character with a surprisingly sad back story that involves her being experimented on by Umbrella for at least 20 years.

Lisa Trevor’s animal-like posture and distorted appearance is a result of this constant testing, which makes having to slay her alongside a true series villain (Albert Wesker) all the more heart breaking. The encounter itself may be relatively straightforward, but hearing Lisa wail and cry out as you’re forced to pump rounds into her is genuinely unsettling. Lisa Trevor is a welcome addition to the original Resident Evil’s canon, not least due to how terrifying her circumstances are.

9. Dr. Salvador – Resident Evil 4

What makes Dr. Salvador from Resident Evil 4 even scarier than he looks is the fact he’s not even a boss. No, all this relentless, bag-wearing maniac needs to try and keep Leon Kennedy at bay is a thirst for blood and a ripping chainsaw primed to rip our protagonist to shreds. He’s surprisingly fast and nimble in spite of his wide-set frame, which makes for a deadly combination when you’ve just heard the rumble of his tool-turned-weapon from a distance and are trying to get an accurate lock on him. 

Typical handgun bullets will do very little to stop the swing of Dr. Salvador’s chainsaw. Instead, your best bet is to barrage him with shotgun shells or attempt a stun with a flash grenade. Either way, every die-hard Resident Evil fan remembers where they were the first time they heard the grinding of a metal chain so soon after entering Resident Evil 4’s Spanish village. 

8. Cerberus – Resident Evil

Dogs have always played a huge role in Resident Evil, but most players will never forget the first time they smashed onto the screen. Slowly traversing down an innocent hallway of the Spencer Mansion in the original Resident Evil, the unsettling silence is suddenly disrupted by the sound of windows shattering and what appears to be two undead Dobermans. They are, in fact, four-legged monsters known in canon as Cerberuses – bio-organic weapons infected by the T-virus strain.

These doggos are far from the good boys you first expect them to be, leaving a mark on your mind as well as the hallway floor thanks to the amount of blood they drip. Their introduction kicked off the classic Resident Evil tradition of having to take down zombie canines quickly. If you don’t, they’ll continue to pursue you around most corridors or until you can bide your time in the nearest safe room. Cerberus dogs are living proof that no mammal is safe from Umbrella’s experiments. 

7. Nosferatu – Resident Evil Code: Veronica 

Code: Veronica often gets forgotten about as far as Resident Evil games go. This is a shame considering its host to two of the most merciless franchise villains in siblings Alexander and Alexia Ashford. What makes them so monstrous? Possibly their willingness to experiment on their own father, eventually transforming him into the near unkillable monster known as Nosferatu. Strung up, blinded, and suffering from a gaping hole in the chest, he serves as one of Code: Veronica’s most nightmarish monsters and boss fights.

Nosferatu is another Resident Evil monster with a deep and disturbing back story, which makes fighting him even creepier. After whipping Claire whips her partner Steve Burnside away to one side, she faces Nosferatu on a wintery helipad without much visibility. It may be fairly obvious where his weak spot is, but you’ll quite literally need to play it cool to pump enough rounds in.

6. Deborah Harper – Resident Evil 6

Bombing it through the underground cavern in a minecart while trying to avoid the clutches of Helena’s gloopy sister is one of Resident Evil 6’s best sequences. At first it seems like you may have rescued Deborah in time, but it isn’t long until Leon and his partner discover she’s already been subjected to the C-virus, causing her to catch alight before birthing a more monstrous version of herself from out of her own back. 

If this imagery alone isn’t enough to make you fear Deborah, just wait until she comes at you with her four whip-like tentacles. First you face her head-on while trying not to get repeatedly lashed as the caverns crumble around you, before gunning at her from the back of a racing minecart as mentioned. The fight culminates once you hit a ridge and squeaky Deborah is forced to fall to her death. For a short while there, though, this gruesome bioweapon gets close to giving Leon and Helena the kiss of death.

5. Queen Leech – Resident Evil 0

Don’t be fooled by how regal the monster known as Queen Leech looks in human form. By the time Billy and Sherry come across her in Resident Evil Zero, she’s increased in height, gained multiple flaps, and sports a face full of enough teeth to finish you in one bite. This boss fight serves as the climax of this prequel adventure, and as such she chases you throughout multiple areas.

She’s one of the scariest Resident Evil monsters due to her disgusting final form, coupled with her ability to control loads of smaller leeches, too. Players with a hatred of slithery creatures are sure to find her disgusting.

4. Marguerite Baker – Resident Evil 7

Almost any member of Resident Evil 7’s Baker family would have been a good choice for this list, but we had to pick Marguerite due to how distinctly spooky your boss encounter with her is. Not only has she grown abnormally long limbs by the time you take her on in an abandoned outhouse but the majority of the fight also takes place in the dark. This makes your attempt to burn her all the more unnerving since she’s prone to sneak up on you and strike.

Players will likely have already developed a deep hatred for Marguerite even before this fight, though, due to the handful Metal Gear Solid-esque missions where you’re forced to sneak past her as Mia. However, all bets are off by the time you face her as Ethan. It’s just a simple case of knowing where to look and what nooks she may pop out of. Sending both Marguerite and her army of insects to Hell is satisfyingly tense and a good showcase of Resident Evil 7’s more claustrophobic first-person perspective.

3. G-virus William Birkin – Resident Evil 2 Remake

The mutated version of William Birkin already looked grotesque in Resident Evil 2 on PlayStation One, but Capcom outdid itself when returning to the character for the 2019 remake. Transformed into a ghoulish monstrosity as a result of injecting himself with the G-Virus strain, Birkin constantly cries out in pain to his wife and daughter as players concentrate fire on the gaping eye bulging out of his right-side shoulder. This final hint of humanity makes fighting him feel devastating.

Dr. Birkin loses more control of himself as the Resident Evil 2 campaign barrels towards its end, eventually transforming into a wall-crawling mass of daggers that tries to tear your head off. His pursuit of Leon and Claire eventually leads to his downfall, however, after his attempt to derail the train escaping Raccoon City is thwarted by a few pokes. Still, Birkin goes down as one of the gooiest monsters in Resident Evil history.

2. Nemesis – Resident Evil 3

Resident Evil’s original hulking stalker is still one of the scariest. First appearing in the original PS One version of Resident Evil 3 before being slightly modernized for last year’s remake, Nemesis is a massive pain the ass for ex-S.T.A.R.S member Jill Valentine because he just doesn’t stop and can appear unannounced at almost any time. His Terminator-like determination to pursue means that you’re never safe when exploring the streets of Racoon City.

Nemesis is easily recognisable by his missing lips and stitched-together skull, both of which result in a face that only a mother could love. He becomes more deformed the longer Resident Evil 3’s campaign progresses, too, making each fight feel scarier than the last. Nemesis has only ever returned in spin-offs, but you never know when he’ll pop around the corner next.

1. Mr. X – Resident Evil 2 Remake

Mr. X is the reason many players start panicking whenever they hear the sound of approaching footsteps in Resident Evil 2 Remake. Don’t be fooled by his bowler hat and trench coat, this Tyrant model T-103 looks like a wardrobe but moves at a brisk pace. As such, facing him head-on is always a bad idea, especially since he won’t stay down for long, even after pumping him full of explosive rounds. The opposite direction is always your best bet whenever Mr. X unexpectedly shows up. 

While he gradually evolves into something more monstrous and unsightly towards the end of Leon and Claire’s adventure, even Mr. X’s initially plain appearance is unsettling. You simply have no way of defeating or halting this 7-foot-tall stalker, and you’re instead forced to navigate R.P.D headquarters using an entirely different route than you first intended. This endless game of cat and mouse never fails to get the heart pumping, especially since he follows you in real time.

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[inlovewithdisaster]

JUDGE PROFILE: TOBIAS MENDELSSOHN

tobias’ formal contest experience has been……spotty, to say the least. he loved the performing arts as a kid and coordinated/composed frequently outside of his classes, and with his record of misbehavior as a small child, this was one of the few things he would miraculously sit still and focus on. but in the past few years, joining a 200-or-so-year-long fight for justice in a foreign country has really put a pause on his passion, to say the least; when he stands on stage today, he’s dusting off some serious childhood cobwebs that have collected on his art. 

that’s not to say he’s completely rusty, however. in the year that he’s led preuzien, he’s had some contest appearances here and there, and he’s done a great number of street performances of traditional draconid dragon-riding--his brand while he was working with the prussian rebels. what’s more, he’s learned from the best: the inimitable wallace kassai, @hisvanity​, the greatest coordinator who has ever lived, was a childhood family friend and mentor to him, and his grandfather, ezra mendelssohn, earned a great claim to fame in the 20th century as the pretty boy who dominated cool and tough contests with his quickdraw. as a result, he’s got quite a few educated opinions on what coordinating should be……and oh my god, he will die for all of them.

as a judge, he’s intelligent and insightful, but brutally honest to the point of being rude. while most of his observations are artistically sound and logically correct, he tends to say it in a manner not unlike simon cowell. having been raised with such high standards when it comes to coordinating, he also tends to dock more than he should for any particular offense. he’s as sharp as wallace with his observations, and more than twice as bitchy. be warned.

LIKES.

tobias is an educated man of many different tastes, who can appreciate the beauty of art in all its forms. he’s not near as picky as ursula when it comes to what he finds “beautiful” or “appealing”; all he wants is that whatever you do, you commit your heart and soul to it 110% and you do it well. a dainty ballet routine can earn the same score from him as a motorcycle stunt performance set to death metal. he’s looking for aesthetically appealing performances that involve nuanced details and complex technique; how you achieve this is no concern to him as long as you achieve it.

i should note that for him, “aesthetically appealing” has a broader range than it does for ursula. he is able to appreciate the strange, the avant-garde, even the grotesque, in a way that the head judge can’t. whereas she’ll balk at a dada-inspired routine, he’ll probably be all over it!

unlike ursula, who hates being preached at, he also prefers appeals that have a broader message or statement. whereas ursula with her little brainpower loathes appeals whose stories and messages are too hard to understand, tobias can fully appreciate and give points for such feats. he also has a major soft spot for satire, especially satire directed at unjust authority figures--or at his fellow judges!

like his mother, he also likes out-of-the-box, creative performances that break conventional stereotypes and roles. after all, his grandfather ezra was told that he was too “pretty” to ever make it big in the cool and tough categories, but that ended the moment people realized he was a wwii vet who brought his gun-shooting talents onstage! wallace’s influence certainly helped in this department--he’s had an aversion of coordinating and showcasing clichés hammered into him since childhood. some of the things that count as unconventional for him include but are not limited to:

gender noncomformity.

ugly or undesirable-looking pokémon such as garbodor, mr. rime or skuntank.

tough-looking pokémon showing a more elegant, graceful and tender side, or vice versa.

showing a side of a pokémon’s species that is not otherwise explored (e.g. milotic may be very beautiful and graceful but it is also a dragon, and wallace is one of the few people who portray it as such).

pokémon and people expressing contradicting qualities at once (fierce yet soft, cute yet dangerous) gives performances a unique flavor and complexity.

portraying contrasting themes within your appeal. 

did we mention he’s educated? he loves references to nerd shit. like poetry, or history, or mythology……he’ll understand every single nerdy little reference that a cerebral appeal has to offer, and it’s guaranteed to make his intellectual heart light up with delight.

as a brown indigenous jew, he also loves appeals that show peoples’ culture! the type of routines he’s best at are steeped in draconid cultural tradition, so he’ll always have a soft spot for those who share their heritage with pride.

lastly, given that he’s a red-blooded risk-taker, he loves daring stunts. after all, dragon-riding shows are built on them!

DISLIKES.

from the above, it’s clear that he likes appeals that put a lot of thought into them. as such, he hates appeals that he feels are low-effort, whether physically or intellectually. if your technique or your visuals or the way you convey your message are too simplistic, you’re not getting a good score, no matter how dazzling you pretend to be. he is sharply critical in this regard, and will incisively see through layers of shine to any inadequacy underneath. his standard for sophistication is so high that you’ll have to jump higher than you ever have to reach it.

he also hates inauthentic and soulless appeals. he’s very good at seeing when someone actually means the stuff they put in their performances, as opposed to whether they’re just pandering to his tastes. he would actually prefer a cliché appeal that the creator is genuinely invested in to an unorthodox appeal where the performer is just trying to check boxes of unconventionality to impress him. (you’d probably never be able to guess it though, with how harshly he can rain down criticism on the cliché!)

he also has a certain distaste for appeals that use only the most standard contest/showcase pokémon. whereas ursula can quickly lose interest in an appeal that doesn’t have the standard milotics and gardevoirs plastered all over it, he regards people who rely too heavily on the conventionally pretty and popular with severe distaste. given that his mentor is wallace, he has a special aversion toward milotic, who wallace himself is SICK and TIRED of seeing in contests. it’s not that he’ll automatically hate performances with these pokémon. it’s more that if you do use these pokémon, you’ll have to work extra hard to seem unique.

as a draconid, he’s also incredibly picky with how people use dragon pokémon in appeals. if you thought he hated established tropes and conventions already, he has an anti-special place in his heart for those who default to common themes with their dragon pokémon. he has buckets and buckets of salt to pour about how dragons are overused, how their trainers lazily use them for instant intimidation, how trainers collect dragons not out of appreciation but to take advantage of the legendary power that accompanies them……and if you don’t present your dragons well, he won’t hesitate to accuse you of any number of these things. particularly, he loathes seeing dragons depicted as the villains in a story performance, unless there’s a dragon hero character to cancel it out. given the fact that “dragons = villains” has been used to demonize his european draconid ancestors for so long, if you invoke this trope in any way, he’ll borderline call you a racist.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I really enjoy your cultured posts and especially about wine. I never knew that Roger Scruton wrote about wine! You tantalisingly talked in bits and pieces in past posts about your chateau vineyard in France. I understand why you protect your privacy but can you say a bit more. I was also hoping as a wine connoisseur you can explain to me what wine sommeliers in restaurants mean about wine having ‘terroir’? Are they just making stuff up to look down on us poor saps or is there something to it?

Your experience with the sommelier reminded me of the classic British television comedy, ‘Fawlty Towers’, where John Cleese’s perpetually hard pressed hotel owner, Basil Fawlty, says with his usual sarcasm, “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.”

I’m sorry that you had from what I can surmise bad experiences with sniffy sommeliers when it came to appreciating wine. I have had one or two depressing experiences myself but it’s important to call out such rudeness so that others don’t have their dining experience spoiled. In Paris at least I can honestly say the spectre of the rude sommelier is dying out - and I have eaten in many great restaurants where I’ve had very lovely experience chatting with sommeliers versed in their wines.

These days sommeliers are positively jumping for joy if you show any kind of wine literacy. Don’t forget these men (and women) have worked extremely hard to hone a refined sense of their craft and they just want to share that knowledge and wisdom with you - otherwise it goes to waste.

Everyone likes to be appreciated and so I go out of my way to listen and appreciate their recommendations based on what I like or if I am looking to pair something interesting with the food I have ordered. If I don’t know I just ask. Indeed often I do know but I still ask because I’m curious to know if there is a better choice of wine and also because I want to learn. There is no shame in asking.  Remember they are there to guide you to have the best dining experience in their restaurant. So engage with them with kind civility and your palate will thank you. And tip generously (if applicable).

I do indeed have a chateau vineyard in southern France - south of Paris anyway. But it’s not just mine. I invested in a dream that belonged to my two cousins who are the real wine connoisseurs. Out of their request for discretion I don’t talk too much about it here on this blog (they follow my blog). I can say that I admire both my cousins hugely (I get brownie points for saying that) for their hard work, risk taking, passion, and their artisanal flair.

Both my cousins gave up lucrative corporate careers to follow their dream to owning and managing a small vineyard. In this case it was bought from the family of my cousin’s French wife; her very old traditional family had the vineyard for generations. They had fought off French revolutionaries who wanted to burn down their chateau because of their old roots but they managed to prevail and survive. They barely survived the Great French Wine Blight (the Phylloxera infestations) that was a severe blight of the mid-19th century that decimated many of the vineyards across France.  But times change. It’s not a romantic business but an unforgiving one. So rather than sell up to rapacious Chinese investors and other outsiders they instead sold it to us.

I have my day job and that keeps me extremely busy. My two cousins (and their French wives) manage the whole vineyard with other hired staff. They make all the decisions and I do the drinking (for quality control purposes, naturally). I help out when I can. This could be from business marketing advice or attending a few wine merchant trade shows. I often go to Shanghai and Hong Kong for my corporate work and my Chinese is passable; and so I help out my cousins who might be out there when I am there too. In fact one of my cousins was out in Shanghai just before the Wuham Covid 19 outbreak in China; thankfully he got out fine and didn’t suffer any symptoms after his trip.

More fun for me is actually spending time on the vineyard. Call me weird but I really do look forward to rolling up my sleeves and getting down in the dirt. It’s incredibly back breaking work - pruning or harvesting - but very rewarding because we’re all in it together. The camaraderie is immense.

I love escaping into the countryside and I just enjoy the easy bonhomie and companionship of my cousins and their French partners for whom wine is a passion and a way of life. Besides learning a lot more about wine, I also get to run, cycle, and hike in the surrounding hills, a world away from crazy city life.

Like many vineyards in France (and indeed vineyards around the world) the Coronavirus has made it an even more challenging environment to produce and sell wine. We did a lot of business in China and now, like many others, we’ve taken a hit. But we’re not down for the count. We’re fortunate that we are more robust with what we have in place. But like everyone else uncertainty of the future with an expected recession means we need to dig in deep and weather the oncoming storms. But we’ll be fine.

So what is this odd French word, ‘terroir’?

The French have this expression they use when it is clear they are tasting a true terroir wine - "un goût de terroir" - a taste of the place.

Terroir is a largely misused term, though the general understanding of the term of terroir is correct that it refers to the place of where the wine is made. Terroir is not something you pick up after tasting a few wines from one vineyard. It's more complicated than that, which of course makes it harder to use. Which is no fun, because people really like saying fancy French words when talking about wine.

A classical definition of terroir would be something along the lines of this: terroir is the aggregate factors that affect the physical vineyard site: geography, geology, weather, and any other relatively unique environmental conditions that might affect the process or final quality of the fruit.

Put simply terroir is the combination of micro-climate, soil, sun exposure, weather conditions and other environmental influences on wine. To Europeans in general and to the French and Italians in particular, terroir is a key indicator of quality in wine.

The best way to understand what what terroir means is to think of terroir as a different accent - an English accent sounds different from a Scottish accent which sounds different from a Welsh accent. Although the English language is the same, these accents have their own sense of place. Once you are fluent in the language of wine these different accents start to become a lot more pronounced. These ‘wine accents’ echo the terroir where the grapes were grown and the wines were made.

So what does this mean in practice? Take the Pinot Noir grape. Pinot Noir is a notoriously difficult grape to grow because it is very fussy with climate. With the grape being so fussy it is remarkable that the grape can be grown in many parts of the world. Its home is in Bourgogne (Burgundy), France, and yet the grape is grown successfully in Germany (where it's called Spatburgunder), Italy, United States, New Zealand and Australia, among others. So while Pinot Noir is a very fussy grape, it can grow in different climates. It's just the the way it expresses itself can be vastly different. This starts with fruit, whereby it will express a wide range from red fruits like cranberry (cooler climates) right through to black fruits like plum (warmer climates).

The key is the soil - and the sweat and blood that goes into cultivating it.  

Soils contain a huge array of types of rock, decomposed rock, and organic materials, in a seemingly infinite array of mixes of topsoil, subsoil, and bedrock. Grape vines tend to grow vigorously and this causes a tendency toward better wines emerging from counterintuitive places - places with relatively poor soils. Too many nutrients and too much water near the surface and the vines will not push down deeply into the ground, seeking out what it needs to live. The belief is, if it does so it will find a more complex variety of nutrients that lead to better, more nuanced wines.

Soil, however, is not the only facet that gives us a full sense of what terroir means.

It is not enough to have a great mix of soils. Vines grown for grapes have a range on Earth in which they will ripen. Champagne, for example, is near the northern ripening limit for growing grapes — around the 49th parallel. They usually do not achieve anywhere near full ripeness nor do they want it - they need lots of acidity - so a northern location works well for their purposes. Too far south, however, and relentless sun and warmth will yield over ripened, jammy, sometimes stewed tasting fruit, lacking acidity and possessing searing levels of alcohol, at times. So the parallel on which the vines are planted is important.

Next, prevailing weather patterns in the region, such as adequate, but not typically heavy rain is necessary. The further north the vineyard site, the more that frosts and hail will likely be factors in varietal planting decisions, as well as harvesting. Achieving full ripeness before vinification is generally the goal for winemakers, but in certain climates the likelihood of sudden rain and weather changes which would dilute or damage the fruit, all go into the perception of the terroir.

Where the vines are planted, even within a commune in Burgundy, can prove very important for several of the reasons listed above: a southeast facing slope in the Côtes de Nuits, for example, provides a poor soil (meaning a good soil for wine grapes,) making the roots grow down deep into limestone, searching for nutrients. The top of the slope to the vineyard's back creates a microclimate and gives a small rain shadow effect, potentially dropping a major portion of rain on the western slope away from the quickly-harvesting vignerons on the other side, before their crop becomes diluted or destroyed. Not to say it always works out this way, because it does not. The point here is that the position within the mesoclimate and even microclimate is important.

Further, the angle or aspect toward the sun in our example is tremendously important. In our example, facing southeast gives the grapes a higher average number of hours per day to ripen in the sun, without getting the stronger, sometimes-harsher evening sun directly. When there is rain, rot can be a problem which leads to yet another factor - slope. A well-drained soil is very important, and altitude is a factor, which will lead to variation throughout a vineyard on such a slope.

Finally, a very important factor in terroir that is not always mentioned is the hand of man.

In the local customs for wine growing, winemaking, cuisine around those wines, and traditions sometimes dating back thousands of years, there emerges a tendency to understand what works well in the local soil and climate. Based on those ideas, certain decisions are made in the cellars that nudge the wine in the direction of one style or another. Decisions can be made that completely mask - destroy - the sense of terroir. Yet decisions are made, nonetheless. They do influence the final product.

Two producers owning parts of the same few hectares of land produce products of two wildly different qualities. There are decisions to be made of using wild yeasts or cultivated yeasts, steel tanks or oak barrels, the type(s) of oak, where it is from, the amount of toasting.

A poor vineyard manager can plant vines in impeccable terroir, but fail miserably in their ability to farm the grapes appropriately, even assuming they planted the right grapes for that terroir. Equally, you can give an inexperienced winemaker the best grapes from the best terroir and he is still very likely to make a mediocre wine at best.

Now, this isn't to say that a great winemaker can take substandard grapes from a poor region and turn them into great wine. But it takes a knowledgable and experienced winemaker to make the best of the spectacular grapes that world-class terroir and impeccable farming technique provides.

So all in all, I would say that terroir, vineyard manager and winemaker are equally as important and there can be no weak links in that equation if quality wine is to be produced.

The point is that all of these factors affect the wine. The best winemakers are artisans who work hard to let the land and vines speak. Over time, some places on Earth have been identified as having very high potential to produce outstanding, unique wines that sing with a voice like no other. That is terroir.

Music is like wine. We appreciate different composers and their pieces more as we understand more of the context of each piece.

Most wine drinkers, no matter their level of knowledge and sophistication, are on a similar path of evolving understanding. Each mouthful whose flavours and aromas we drink, each bottle label we unconsciously imprint in our memory, each line-item on a wine list that we select for the evening’s meal is another volume in our own library of experience, and determines how we will experience the next. The more wine we drink and the more we learn, the better context we have to evaluate (or enjoy) every future glass. So wine drinking is not a race nor is there a prize. You go at your own pace. It’s your own journey of self-discovery. Ignore the pretentious twattery that so often hinders the enjoyment of good wine. 

May I add wine enjoys companionship. It makes love to fine food and good conversation. Yes, wine can be drunk on its own but it is more than just a balm to the soul. It is best appreciated when shared or paired - as one might with a cigar and a whisky - with good food. In the words of the late Paul Bocuse, who was a celebrated Michelin starred chef and father of French Haute Cuisine, “La véritable cuisine sera toujours celle du terroir. En France le beurre, la crème et le vin en constitueront toujours les bases.”

Thanks for your question

[wcoastboy]

the feeling of disgust

I’m not sure if I talked about this here but this is something that’s been going on for a while. I think the first time I felt it intensely was in 2014. It usually feels like a nostalgia, not by a time long gone that I have lived, but by a time and a life I never have. I don’t mean that nostalgia that I feel when I see ancient ruins and I wonder and wander how was the hedonious pagan life, and it is also different when I fantasize about medieval europe or glamourize the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and else. this nostalgia I am talking about is accompanied by a melancholic feeling, and sometimes it is even bucolic as well, as I usually associate it with the countryside and with summer. it is also followed by a deep, intense feeling of rejection, not belonging, not being a part of something, not beinig welcomed, not seen as an equal, not desired, backstabbed, not enough. 

I am not very aware of where this comes exaclty, I am really not sure, sometimes I theorize if I never felt so much cared for by my father, if my sexuality’s journey made me feel excluded, or if my mixed background had to do with it. regardless, today it also involves the perception of men about me. 

this has been a long going issue for me and to be honest is excrutiating to write it down, I am not even sure if I have the grammatical skills and vocabulary to translate my feelings into words. but I can recall several instances in which I felt this feeling of disgust. even within my bestfriends, because sometimes I wouldn’t go out with them as much, and I remember that since I was a kid. sometimes amongst muslim acquaintaces I would feel like an outsider, as I am a roman catholic, but among roman catholics, I would feel like an outsider, as I part of my family is not catholic. amongst groups of european descent I feel like an outsider, as only part of my family immigrated from europe, but I would not necessarily belong with the latin kids either, or the lebanese ones. I would not be able to relate to the lower middle class kids, as I never experienced their struggle, but I could not fully understand the wealthy kids either. I was never friends with guys because they were not sensitive enough to undertsand me, but I always felt a bit left out with the girls because there was always a moment that “you wouldn’t understand” (which I wouldn’t, as I am not a woman). 

with the popular kids I would feel like an outsider, as I was not as popular as them, and with the normal kids, I would feel like an outsider, as I was more popular than them. with atheists I would not feel comfortable, as I am very absorbed into the divine and mysticism, but with religious people I will not feel comfortable either. I cannot relate to people that do not fall under beauty standards, but I cannot have the priviledge of people that do. I am too masculine, traditional, mongamous for some, I am too feminine, lustful, modern for others. It is never here, it is never there, it seems always in between. its quite lonely sometimes. and, regarding what triggered this feeling this time....well, thats quite another paragraph. 

so I met a guy.................................does it always have to start like that? lord. anyways, similar shiny qualities I adore; handsome, tall, slender, stylish, smart, etc. we discussed a more friends with benefits sorta arrangement, but within two days of me talking to him he starts saying things like “your lashes are making me fall for you,” which I felt a bit uncomfortable because it was toooo soon. and when he came to my apartment he insisted that even if I was not looking for romanticism at the moment, that he would still try to win my heart or some (what appears to be) bullshit like that. I did not get any of my hopes up, I was (am?) truly not interested. (plus, I can see the type of men he is interested in; fit, tall, older, and I am not so much the style). but I am a *cancer* for god’s sake, of course having a pretty boy telling me such things will get me intrigued?? but few days after he seems pretty cold (whereas im just the same), and etc. maybe im not the shiny new thing anymore but still, makes me wonder. the thing that gets me sad is: he stalks me and starts following a buch of other gay men in my account that he had no knowledge of prior to meeting me (????) and I *despise* it when gay men do that, because they do it so, so oftenly it sickens me. 

*this* reallllly triggers my feeling of disgust, how could someone possibly begin something, start liking someone etc, try to build any sort of romantic relationship with the idea that “well in case this does not work out at least I have these new guys I could hook up with” ?????? does n o t make sense. nevertheless, I dont mind about the guy itself as much, its the banality of this action that bothers me, the constant obsession with instant gratification amongst cis gay male is beyond. this put other things into perspective tho, it triggers my feelings that I dont belong in my own community, or that - because many of them come with this “Im falling for you” discourse - they do not see me as equals, perhaps if I was fitter or more popular, but for them, they can **** whoever they want and then I could be waiting for a fairytale (which I do, not from them). and then this also triggered the fact that he is richer, fitter, and freer than me and we are both the same age, and I feel like I do not feel for him as much as I feel for the feeling of not belonging, of being rejected, because “well, just in case, I am already following someone prettier anyways.” and it is disgusting because he - albeit being colder - is still telling me things about how he wants to conquer my heart?????????????? girl bye. 

situations like this create a very strong feeling of digust from me, not the “ewww” disgust, the “oh this attitude sickens me,” and it makes me increasingly distrustful of the gays... regardless, I do know that a lot of this is within me, because as soon as they are colder my mind goes to that place where I can see all of them hanging out without me, pool partying without me, because anyways I am not seen as their equal. a behavior that emulate similar feelings in mass, in academia, in brazil, in my friend group, within my family. its almost as though I immideately, unvoluntarily, (and sometimes irrevocably) take myself out of a situation, in which I was inserted in, and I start watching it from above, I aqcuire and oberver role, a narrator, and I am suddenly not a protagonist anymore, and perhaps I just thought I was. this specific thing that happens in my mind is beyond painful for me.

this constant transit between the east and west, feminine and masculine, pride and shyness, lustfulness and virtuousness, the high and low, the above and the below, it reaps me apart in a dichotomy I have little control over. at the same time, it is this dichotomy who has given me so much, it is what makes me so unique, different, it is part of my idenitity to the core and I am proud of it, so many times people look at me in awe when they learn of my background and comment things like “thats why you’re so beautiful” or “you’ve got the beauty of many places,” and beauty is a common theme in this website..its something that brings me so much joy, but at the same time I can fit in a little in many places, its appears I can never fit wholy anywhere. 

[tlbodine]

The Wendigo is Not What You Think

There’s been a recent flurry of discussion surrounding the Wendigo -- what it is, how it appears in fiction, and whether non-Native creators should even be using it in their stories. This post is dedicated to @halfbloodlycan​, who brought the discourse to my attention. 

Once you begin teasing apart the modern depictions of this controversial monster, an interesting pattern emerges -- namely, that what pop culture generally thinks of as the “wendigo” is a figure and aesthetic that has almost nothing in common with its Native American roots...but a whole lot in common with European Folklore. 

What Is A Wendigo? 

The Algonquian Peoples, a cluster of tribes indigenous to the region of the Great Lakes and Eastern Seaboard of Canada and the northern U.S., are the origin of Wendigo mythology. For them, the Wendigo (also "windigo" or "Witigo" and similar variations) is a malevolent spirit. It is connected to winter by way of cold, desolation, and selfishness. It is a spirit of destruction and environmental decay. It is pure evil, and the kind of thing that people in the culture don't like to talk about openly for fear of inviting its attention.

Individual people can turn into the Wendigo (or be possessed by one, depending on the flavor of the story), sometimes through dreams or curses but most commonly through engaging in cannibalism. Considering the long, harsh winters in the region, it makes sense that the cultural mythology would address the cannibalism taboo.

For some, the possession of the Wendigo spirit is a very real thing, not just a story told around the campfire. So-called "wendigo psychosis" has been described as a "culture-bound" mental illness where an individual is overcome with a desire to eat people and the certainty that he or she has been possessed by a Wendigo or is turning into a Wendigo. Obviously, it was white people encountering the phenomenon who thought to call it "psychosis," and there's some debate surrounding the whole concept from a psychological, historical, and anthropological standpoint which I won't get into here -- but the important point here is that the Algonquian people take this very seriously. (1) (2)

(If you're interested in this angle, you might want to read about the history of Zhauwuno-geezhigo-gaubow (or Jack Fiddler), a shaman who was known as something of a Wendigo hunter. I'd also recommend the novel Bone White by Ronald Malfi as a pretty good example of how these themes can be explored without being too culturally appropriative or disrespectful.) 

Wendigo Depictions in Pop Culture

Show of hands: How many of you reading this right now first heard of the Wendigo in the Alvin Schwartz Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book?

That certainly was my first encounter with the tale. It was one of my favorite stories in the book as a little kid. It tells about a rich man who goes hunting deep in the wilderness, where people rarely go. He finds a guide who desperately needs the money and agrees to go, but the guide is nervous throughout the night as the wind howls outside until he at last bursts outside and takes off running. His tracks can be found in the snow, farther and farther apart as though running at great speed before abruptly ending. The idea being that he was being dragged along by a wind-borne spirit that eventually picked him up and swept him away.

Schwartz references the story as a summer camp tale well-known in the Northeastern U.S., collected from a professor who heard it in the 1930s. He also credits Algernon Blackwood with writing a literary treatment of the tale -- and indeed, Blackwood's 1910 novella "The Wendigo" has been highly influential in the modern concept of the story.(3)  His Wendigo would even go on to find a place in Cthulhu Mythos thanks to August Derleth.

Never mind, of course, that no part of Blackwood's story has anything in common with the traditional Wendigo myth. It seems pretty obvious to me that he likely heard reference of a Northern monster called a "windigo," made a mental association with "wind," and came up with the monster for his story.

And so would begin a long history of white people re-imagining the sacred (and deeply frightening) folklore of Native people into...well, something else.

Through the intervening decades, adaptations show up in multiple places. Stephen King's Pet Sematary uses it as a possible explanation for the dark magic of the cemetery's resurrectionist powers. A yeti-like version appears as a monster in Marvel Comics to serve as a villain against the Hulk. Versions show up in popular TV shows like Supernatural and Hannibal. There's even, inexplicably, a Christmas episode of Duck Tales featuring a watered-down Wendigo.

Where Did The Antlered Zombie-Deer-Man Come From? 

In its native mythology, the Wendigo is sometimes described as a giant with a heart of ice. It is sometimes skeletal and emaciated, and sometimes deformed. It may be missing its lips and toes (like frostbite). (4)

So why, when most contemporary (white) people think of Wendigo, is the first image that comes to mind something like this?

Well...perhaps we can thank a filmmaker named Larry Fessenden, who appears to be the first person to popularize an antlered Wendigo monster. (5) His 2001 film (titled, creatively enough, Wendigo) very briefly features a sort of skeletal deer-monster. He’d re-visit the design concept in his 2006 film, The Last Winter. Reportedly, Fessenden was inspired by a story he’d heard in his childhood involving deer-monsters in the frozen north, which he connected in his mind to the Algernon Blackwood story. 

A very similar design would show up in the tabletop game Pathfinder, where the “zombie deer-man” aesthetic was fully developed and would go on to spawn all sorts of fan-art and imitation. (6) The Pathfinder variant does draw on actual Wendigo mythology -- tying it back to themes of privation, greed, and cannibalism -- but the design itself is completely removed from Native folklore. 

Interestingly, there are creatures in Native folklore that take the shape of deer-people -- the  ijiraq or tariaksuq, shape-shifting spirits that sometimes take on the shape of caribou and sometimes appear in Inuit art in the form of man-caribou hybrids (7). Frustratingly, the ijiraq are also part of Pathfinder, which can make it a bit hard to find authentic representations vs pop culture reimaginings. But it’s very possible that someone hearing vague stories of northern Native American tribes encountering evil deer-spirits could get attached to the Wendigo, despite the tribes in question being culturally distinct and living on opposite sides of the continent. 

That “wendigo” is such an easy word to say in English probably has a whole lot to do with why it gets appropriated so much, and why so many unrelated things get smashed in with it. 

I Love the Aesthetic But Don’t Want to Be Disrespectful, What Do I Do? 

Plundering folklore for creature design is a tried-and-true part of how art develops, and mythology has been re-interpreted and adapted countless times into new stories -- that’s how the whole mythology thing works. 

But when it comes to Native American mythology, it’s a good idea to apply a light touch. As I’ve talked about before, Native representation in modern media is severely lacking. Modern Native people are the survivors of centuries of literal and cultural genocide, and a good chunk of their heritage, language, and stories have been lost to history because white people forcibly indoctrinated Native children into assimilating. So when those stories get taken, poorly adapted, and sent back out into the public consciousness as make-believe movie monsters, it really is an act of erasure and violence, no matter the intentions of the person doing it. (8) 

So, like...maybe don’t do that? 

I won’t say that non-Native people can’t be interested in Wendigo stories or tell stories inspired by the myth. But if you’re going to do it, either do it respectfully and with a great deal of research to get it accurate...or use the inspiration to tell a different type of story that doesn’t directly appropriate or over-write the mythology (see above: my recommendation for Bone White). 

But if your real interest is in the “wendigocore” aesthetic -- an ancient and powerful forest protector, malevolent but fiercely protective of nature, imagery of deer and death and decay -- I have some good news: None of those things are really tied uniquely to Native American mythology, nor do they have anything in common with the real Wendigo. 

Where they do have a longstanding mythic framework? Europe.

Europeans have had a long-standing fascination with deer, goats, and horned/antlered forest figures. Mythology of white stags and wild hunts, deer as fairy cattle, Pan, Baphomet, Cernunnos, Herne the Hunter, Black Phillip and depictions of Satan -- the imagery shows up again and again throughout Greek, Roman, and British myth. (9)

Of course, some of these images and figures are themselves the product of cultural appropriation, ancient religions and deities stolen, plundered, demonized and erased by Christian influences. But their collective existence has been a part of “white” culture for centuries, and is probably a big part of the reason why the idea of a mysterious antlered forest-god has stuck so swiftly and firmly in our minds, going so far as to latch on to a very different myth. (Something similar has happened to modern Jersey Devil design interpretations. Deer skulls with their tangle of magnificent antlers are just too striking of a visual to resist). 

Seriously. There are so, so many deer-related myths throughout the world’s history -- if aesthetic is what you’re after, why limit yourself to an (inaccurate) Wendigo interpretation? (10) 

So here’s my action plan for you, fellow white person: 

Stop referring to anything with antlers as a Wendigo, especially when it’s very clearly meant to be its own thing (the Beast in Over the Garden Wall, Ainsworth in Magus Bride)

Stop “reimagining” the mythology of people whose culture has already been targeted by a systematic erasure and genocide

Come up with a new, easy-to-say, awesome name for “rotting deer man, spirit of the forest” and develop a mythology for it that doesn’t center on cannibalism 

We can handle that, right? 

This deep dive is supported by Ko-Fi donations. If you’d like to see more content, please drop a tip in my tip jar.  Ko-fi.com/A57355UN

NOTES: 

1 - https://io9.gizmodo.com/wendigo-psychosis-the-probably-fake-disease-that-turns-5946814

2 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendigo#Wendigo_psychosis

3 - https://www.gutenberg.org/files/10897/10897-h/10897-h.htm

4 - https://www.legendsofamerica.com/mn-wendigo/

5- https://www.reddit.com/r/Cryptozoology/comments/8wu2nq/wendigo_brief_history_of_the_modern_antlers_and/

6 - https://pathfinderwiki.com/wiki/Wendigo

7 - https://www.mythicalcreaturescatalogue.com/single-post/2017/12/06/Ijiraq

8 - https://www.backstoryradio.org/blog/the-mythology-and-misrepresentation-of-the-windigo/

9 - https://www.terriwindling.com/blog/2014/12/the-folklore-of-goats.html

10 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deer_in_mythology

[cincinnatusvirtue]

Commanders in Profile: Timur (1336-1405).  The Turco-Mongol Apogee.

To history he’s known as Timur or in the west as Tamerlane.  He’s one of the great conquerors of history and one who probably best epitomized the Turco-Mongol-Persianate tradition.  Taking ancestral links from the Mongols of the Mongol Empire and cultural links from the fellow nomadic Turks as well as the Persians, Timur synthesized all of these influences.  He would rise from relative obscurity to command one of the most powerful empires of the Middle Ages.

-Timur is born on April 9, 1336 in the city of Kesh, in modern day Uzbekistan.  He is a member of the Barlas, a Mongolian tribe which has been culturally Turkified over the years.  He is not a direct descendant of Genghis Khan but is evidently a distant relative through his father due to a shared common ancestor back in Mongolia.  His mother’s origins are unknown and variously described as Mongolian or even Persian.  His name means “iron” in the Chagatai Turkic language.

-By the time of Timur’s birth, the once powerful Mongol Empire under Genghis Khan has fragmented among competing junior dynasties that form separate states.  In Timur’s case, he is born into the Chagatai Khanate, which descends from Genghis Khan but has since converted to Islam and is now culturally Turkified with the majority of its populace being nomadic Turks from Central Asia.

-Timur’s father, Taraghai is a minor noble of a certain social standing and wealth in the Chagatai Khanate.

-Timur turns to the life of nomadic raiding, with a band of followers he conducts raids on travelling caravans, part of the Silk Road that pass through these lands from Europe to China.  The raids usually take good, such as animals or other measures of wealth.  During one raid against a shepherd, Timur is wounded by two arrows one to his right leg and one to his right hand, both wounds will cripple him the rest of life.  Causing Timur to lose two fingers and suffer a limp on his leg.  This will give rise to his later name in the west, Tamerlane which is a corruption of the moniker Timur the Lame.

-Timur will become a military leader of Turkic horsemen, the horse archer tradition of the Turks and Mongols would be the central element to his military thereafter.  Timur joins the Chagatai Khan on several campaigns by the 1360′s.  He invades parts of modern Iran and elsewhere in Central Asia.  Becoming leader of the Barlas after his father’s death and becoming a powerful regional governor in the area of his birth, known as Transoxiana, north of the Oxus River which flows in Central Asia.

-In time, the Chagatai Khans begin to lose their central authority and brothers of the dynasty lead to rival claims which weaken the khanate’s power.  Timur, ever the shrewd politician sides with whoever is the most advantageous for himself.  In time, Timur will reduce the khan’s to mere ceremonial figureheads.  He cannot take the title for himself because Mongol tradition dictates only direct descendants of Genghis Khan can do so and this, Timur wasn’t.  He instead take the title, Amir which is Arabic for leader, and connotes a military or noble designation which suited Timur, a king in all but name.

-Timur was known to have been multilingual speaking Mongolian, Chagatai Turkic and Persian.  This multilingualism would have an appeal in addition to his personal appeal through his intelligence and military prowess.  His Mongol linguistics appealed to his tribesmen, giving him a premiere position in their society.  His Chagatai Turkic language was the language of his military, it appealed to the core of his army, namely his rank and file horse archers of Turkic extraction.  His Persian skills which became the language of culture and governance in the Islamic world from Anatolia to India, appealed to the artisans, politicians, religious clergy and engineers.

-Timur would typically destroy whole cities and their populaces, save for artisans and engineers, people who he could put to work in his own capital, Samarkand, Uzbekistan.  

-Timur over the coming decades invaded Persia (modern Iran) as well as Afghanistan as well as consolidated control of Transoxiana.  His empire, known in history as the Timurid Empire would control much of Central and West Asia.  in 1380 he invaded Persia which has been party of the Mongol successor state, the Ilkhanate.  However, due to the Black Death plague of the 1330′s-1340′s, the khanate dynasty was devastated and collapsed.  Causing a number of fragmented successor states to rise up in its wake.  Due to their decentralized nature, Timur with his consolidated strength was able to overcome enemy after enemy.  Gradually ruling over the whole of Persia.

-Timur also was popular with his people due to his supposedly charitable nature, increasing schools and patronizing the arts, namely religious in nature.

-He called himself the “Sword of Islam” and setup a cult of personality to appeal to both his Mongol lineage and his Islamic religion.  He could neither be the Great Khan by restriction of birth in the traditional confines of Mongol culture nor could he be the Caliph of Islam by din of descent.  Instead through his military victories and charity would he appeal as a spiritual successor to both these claims, a sort of personal ordination by the hand of God.

-The title, Sword of Islam was questionable given that most of his enemies were fellow Muslims, nevertheless the moniker persisted.

-Timur’s varied campaigns took his expanse further west into Mesopotamia and Syria, conquering Baghdad from the Turkic khanates that survived.  Additionally, in the 1380′s he came into conflict with the Golden Horde or Tatars.  The Golden Horde was the Mongol successor state that ruled over the Caucasus and Eurasian steppe of southern Russia and Ukraine.  In time, his long off and on campaigns with the Golden Horde would permanently weaken them.  In a ripple effect of Timur’s conflict with the Golden Horde, the Slavic Rus’ principalities which had been vassals of the Mongols since the 13th century now were able to gradually rebel and become independent giving rise to medieval Russia under the power of the princely city-state of Muscovy or Moscow.

-In 1398, Timur turned his attention to the Dehli Sultanate of Northern India which was ruled by the Turco-Indian Tughlaq dynasty.  In the battle of Dehli, Timur showed his characteristic tactical prowess.  Facing a large Indian army that included armored elephants draped in chain mail and with tusks dipped in poison. Knowing his men were afraid of the elephants and the damage they could do, Timur planned to likewise panic the elephants and reverse their charge on the battlefield.  Prior to the battle, he had a trench dug by his men to slow the elephants advance.  Then he loaded up pack camels and tied hay and wood to their backs.  He set these bundles of hay and wood on fire and prodded the camels with hit iron pokers which sent them charging forward toward the elephants.  This bit of psychological warfare worked, scaring the elephants at the sight of camels, howling in pain with flames emitting from their backs.  The elephants turned and stampeded towards their own lines from which the Timurid army launched a follow up attack overwhelming the Indian army.  

-Timur had 100,000 people executed in Delhi, sacked and burnt the city and looted its many riches to be swept back to Samarkand.  This would be emulated when the Persian Shah, Nader Shah in the early 18th century would likewise attack and sack Delhi, ironically then under the leadership of Timur’s descendants.

-1399 saw Timur declare war on the Ottoman Empire then rising in Anatolia as well as the Mamluk Sultanate of Egypt.

-1400 saw an invasion of Armenia and Georgia in one of his few campaigns against Christians, as many as 60,000 were enslaved and untold numbers killed with entire districts being depopulated.

-The war with the Ottomans, actually started as a series of insulting letters exchanged with the then Ottoman Sultan Bayezid I.  The Ottomans has in the last century risen from semi-obscure beylik in western Anatolia to the most powerful Anatolian Turkic state and one with a presence in Europe with conquest of the Balkans and laying siege to the capital of the Byzantine Empire, Constantinople.  However, Timur invaded Anatolia, claiming over lordship of all Turkmen rulers.  Bayezid was forced to lift his siege of Constantinople and instead contend with Timur.

-Things came to a head in 1402 at the Battle of Ankara in central Anatolia when the Timurid and Ottoman armies, the two rising Islamic powers of the age would meet.  Both armies were large and fought very hard that day, especially of note were the Serbian knights who were vassals of the Ottomans.  Their heavy armor repelled the Timurid cavalry’s arrows and the ferocity of the Serbian troops caused Timur to remark that Serbs “fought like lions”.  Nevertheless, Ottoman troops on a forced march in summer heat were tired and thirsty from the outset and exhaustion set in and allowed the Timurids with their superior numbers to gradually overwhelm them, though the Serb and Romanian vassals fled the battlefield realizing it a lost cause, Bayezid stayed on to fight.  The Ottomans tired, thirsty, partially abandoned by their European troops and then betrayed by their own Tatars who joined the Timurid ranks were eventually surrounded and Bayezid himself was captured and taken prisoner.  Never before or ever again would an Ottoman Sultan be taken prisoner on the field of battle, he died in captivity a few months later.

-With Bayezid’s death a civil war in the Ottoman Empire would take place among his sons which provided some relief to the last remnants of the Byzantine Empire as Constantinople would be spared for another few decades.  Timur had unintentionally bought them more time.  This victory over the Ottomans earned Timur fame in Europe and actually earned him some praise, unique for a Muslim ruler in the eyes of Christian Europe.

-In fact Timur engaged in diplomatic exchanges with France and the Spanish Kingdom of Castile during this time, each sending embassies back and forth.  Timur referred to the Castilian king Henry III as like a son.  Overall, mixed views of Timur pervaded, his barbaric mass beheadings were condemned but his running interference against a common enemy in the Ottoman Empire was appreciated.  

-His westward expansion took him to western Anatolia and city of Smyrna which had an Ottoman contingent hiding and protected by Christian Knights of Rhodes and supported by Genoese Italian sailors.  The Timurids put up a two week siege which finally succeeded in capturing the city despite fierce resistance from the Knights of Rhodes.  Much of the city as was Timur’s custom was executed by mass beheading, burning or burying alive. Some Knights escaped on Genoese ships as did the Ottomans, ferried back to the Balkans where they were safe.  This marked the extent of Timur’s westward expanse, he returned east to his empire having wrought the necessary damage upon the Ottomans and setting them up for a 12 year long civil war which kept them distracted.

-Timur, next planned an eastward campaign against the Ming dynasty of China which had overthrown the Mongol over lordship of China which had existed since the days of Genghis Khan.  Timur’s goal was to conquer China and restore Mongol rule there now with an Islamic flavor.  In 1405 he set out after months of preparation and died en route to China in Kazakhstan on February 17th of that year.  His cause of death is believed to have been the common cold, though is not known definitively.  He was by then nearing his 70′s and was liable to have been prone to death by disease.

-Timur was buried in simplistic fashion though in an ornate mausoleum in Samarkand.  His tomb was said to had a curse placed on it.  That anyone who disturbed it would face a great calamity.  Nader Shah, his Turco-Persian emulator in the 18th century is rumored to have taken some jade from Timur’s tomb only to have his son fall ill until the jade was returned.  Most famously in 1941 with Uzbekistan part of the USSR, Soviet scientists exhumed Timur’s body and conducted research confirming his disability and able to get a description of his body size, frame and reconstruct his facial features.  The exhumation took place days before the Nazi invasion of the USSR.  Some have tried to link the events.  Indeed Timur’s body was re entombed in 1942 prior to the victory of Stalingrad which shifted the tide of war on the Eastern Front of World War II.  Whether one believes in a link between these events and disturbances to the tomb of Timur, the idea of a curse persists into the modern era.

-Timur’s legacy was a one of great ambition and a demonstration of the power of the individual to through their own deeds appeal to others and in doing so come to wield great power and influence.  He attempted to straddle legacies that influenced him, a Mongol tradition and an Islamic religious duty, both of which motivated him to attempt a Mongol renaissance but combine with Islam’s religious unity.  Timur might not have been able to succeed in all his ambition due to time and his death but his achievements were certainly vast and plentiful.

-His legacy isn’t just military victory and conquest but it is one of patronizing art and in his attempt to put forth that Turco-Mongol tradition with Islamic influences that influenced architecture in Central Asia and the greater Islamic world in general.  He also had a legacy that lived outside him and beyond him.  His campaigns indirectly gave rise to the later Russian Empire and preserved the Byzantine Empire.  His own love of Persian culture and government administration became a hallmark of Islamic empires for ages to come in terms of language and high culture.

-Timur’s legacy is also one that existed within his family, his empire never really maintained the stability it did under him, his successors ruled but another century or so but the state began to crumble and decentralize much like predecessor states in the region had before him.  Eventually the Uzbek tribes and the Kurdish Safavid dynasty which came to rule Persia in the 1500′s replaced the remnants of the Timurid Empire and the various Turkic tribes in its power vacuum.  One of his descendants by the name of Babur escaped to the east and established power over Delhi forming the Mughal Empire which spread Islam throughout India and came to rule much of the subcontinent for the next several centuries.

-Finally, Timur’s atrocities need to be accounted for as well, millions dead due to war, mass executions or through famine and disease are attested too.  Some estimates say upward of 17 million died as a result of Timur’s campaigns through various causes, roughly this was 5% of the world’s estimated total population at the time.  Already ravaged by the Black Death decades before, it would take some places decades if not centuries to recover its population...

[falkenscreen]

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

There’s bad, there’s good, and there’s Eurovision.

The European ‘Song’ Contest, to which this film for many will serve as introduction, neither sits at any apex of cultural achievement nor the ironic bulwarks of saccharine kitsch to which many entrants aspire. Rather, amidst its longevity and oddly unique role in cross-border co-operation, the competition, to which Australia is specially beholden, marks its own measures of success and brands of cultural height.

Tied not necessarily to any independent form, skill or recognisable ingenuity, appeal relies on brazenness, melding of styles and a nakedly single-minded, utterly shameless pursuit of shock-filled fun. To this end, it’s amazing Will Ferrell and Adam McKay haven’t mined these depths already.  

Reportedly a huge fan of the show, Ferrell, committing as always, is regretfully on auto-pilot for whole lengths, drawing on the manner and storylines of his underrated Blades of Glory and early success Zoolander as regards the relationship between his Lars and the characters’ “extremely handsome father;” Pierce Brosnan having some fun with comedy for change.

The story is of the broadest if heart-warmingly familial strokes elevated by its novel focus on the tournament; anyone who’s seen more than one Ferrell comedy (Old School fans should recognise one of the gags) will be across these stylings; complete with a Blades-esque MacGuffin in the form of an unreachable note. We’re all familiar with the follow your dreams against all opposition arc and even if it can get tired it doesn’t get old.

With Ferrell persistently glaring at the camera ala his Mustafa and reminding everyone that he’s here to make them laugh, McAdams, unsurprisingly, is best in show. Her reactions to a pro forma troupe of yet unseen backup dancers invading her solo and her negotiations with a group of elves, yes elves; pure gold. Viewers seem to be constantly finding out that the severely underappreciated comic performer can put in turn after turn like this and unlike Ferrell nails the balance of earnestness, knowing self-seriousness and tactless flamboyance central to Eurovision’s greatest hits.

There’s a caveat that has to be given before anyone watches this movie and that is you are only going to enjoy this if you are moderately familiar with and endeared by Eurovision. The film does not serve as a primer for the uninitiated absent proper grounding in the dynamics of the competition and those unbeholden to its unique stylings will likely feel as unimpressed by Ferrell’s tonally similar antics.

For those most dedicated decades-long Eurovision fans who wake up at 5am every year to watch every Semi-Final live, this author among them, you will get many a high off of this and more so for our having sadly missed the contest in its traditional form this May past. To the filmmakers’ great credit, they picked Iceland as the focus and amidst many playful digs at the nation, the treatment of the Icelandic Government being a highlight, managed to nail the effective winners of this year’s non-tournament.

And it would not be a Eurovision movie without being (in respects) avowedly self-referential, with the film taking some time out of proceedings to address that this is in no small part a group of North Americans behind and in front of the camera. Taking the mickey via another appropriately parodic band of US tourists who have only just landed in town, it’s some of the tightest scripting therein as every line hits the mark. Itself landing on Netflix, Fire Saga is probably best served by a platform where the most well-attuned fans can discover this and return for repeat viewings at their leisure and as they might otherwise have tuned into the annual tradition.  

The varied numbers (and song titles) which form the lead-up to and actual competition are successes not just for their catchiness and necessary originality but for effectively satirising one of the hardest things to mock and exaggerating that which barely bears exaggeration; generating in the process what would typically be Eurovision bangers in any given year. Graciously recognising that Belarus are invariably stand-outs, there’s a classy Lordi reference alongside years-old highlights and fair acknowledgement of the pivotal (if often biased) roles respective countries’ commentators play. The hark-backs  to classic Eurovision numbers will have any fan beaming and the elapsing of the first Semi-Final, encompassing one of the great Eurovision props, is uproarious while speaking to the extremely sincere ethos of the entire escapade.

The blocking of the stage performances, akin to how the broadcasts are typically handled, are too coyly deferential and situate us amongst this extravagance better than a more highly stylised or numerous camera setup which would have likely faltered.

Stars of past, clearly having the time of their lives in this reunion, welcomely make appearances, among them Alexander Rybak (“trust us, bring a violin”), though the best and most welcome surprise comes from a winner of recent years lovingly reciting one of Eurovision’s very best numbers on Edinburgh’s streets.

On this, there are varyingly hilarious interpretations as to why the competition was set in Edinburgh. It could be acknowledging that the British are least likely to win this and if so even less likely to relegate the fanfare to Edinburgh, though with the Russian entrant (Downton Abbey’s Dan Stevens) explicitly lampooning the Isles’ standing in the tournament its more likely the filmmakers’ subtle advocacy of the longstanding hope that Scotland will one day get their own highly competitive place.

As to Stevens’ contender, it’s a well-known problem that many of the countries which participate have appalling records on human rights and LGBT welfare. Amidst a more dramatically sensitive reckoning with this matter, his performance, Stevens’ best to date, is outright hilarious as Lemtov lion-tames extremely scantily-clad men about the stage in typical Eurovision fashion.  

Lovingly landing jabs on the annual extravaganza, infamous for its nondescript, heavily generic slogans, the tagline ‘Perfect Harmony’ for the in-film comp shows that we’re dealing with real fans here, as does moreover the exclamation, as to why there are no cars on the road, that everyone’s  “at home, watching Eurovision.” The film too acknowledges the constant push for and joy when singers indeed sing in Indigenous languages or emphatically about wherever they’ve ventured from with several seemingly throwaway gags, including a great one centring on whales, happily coming full circle.

Absent the voting process, this is too a stickler for Eurovision lore and procedure; though Sweden did have seven performers on stage and should have been disqualified.

Finally, there’s an odd tone at the centre of this film which arrests it from the heights of greatness to which Eurovision otherwise transpires. Co-produced by Jon Ola Sand of the European Broadcasting Union who makes an appearance here and in every Eurovision, even if, and it would be fairly speculative and unusual if so, full creative and parodic freedom were permitted alongside the name’s licensing rights and co-operation, a parody, even a loving one, just isn’t the same when the subjects and stalwarts are so in on the joke and stand to so outwardly benefit.

Yes Eurovision relies to some extent on being self-referential ala ‘Love, Love, Peace, Peace’ but it was only one year among many where the hosts winkingly outshone competitors; the platform otherwise persisting on a lifeblood of entrants’ own (and self-professed devotees) earnest if outlandish skewering. Regular commentator Graham Norton’s true to life cameos are notably distinct and illustrative in this regard; his mawkish if impassioned demeanour emblematic of the tone pursued herein, just like a local townsman declaring “we know they’re awful, but they’re our awful!”

It’s why Trey Parker and Matt Stone refused celebrities the opportunity to voice their own marionettes in Team America, and why Zoolander 2 never worked when all the fashion icons wanted to show they could poke fun at themselves as well. Sure it meant a lot of the gags here might not have happened, but if they’d called it almost anything else the same niche audience would have lined up and there’s no way the winners past wouldn’t have joined the festivities for what turned out to be our collective annual dose of insanity.

‘Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga’ is now streaming on Netflix

[bookendbookbegin]

Book Review: “Gods of Jade and Shadow” by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

(Contains spoilers)

Sometimes nightmares dress like daydreams. But, every so often, daydreams disguise themselves as nightmares.

Casiopea Tun wishes, more than anything, for the ability to leave her life of undeclared servitude forever behind. It is quite the fantasy, as she has no money and nowhere to go. One day, however, after acting rashly, and in complete defiance of her grandfather’s wishes, Casiopea has an unexpected encounter with the Mayan god of death – Hun-Kamé. This awesome, terrifying figure offers Casiopea a bargain, with the end result being her freedom. The catch: it comes at great personal expense, and there is no guarantee she will survive long enough to ever truly be free. Together, mortal and god set forth to restore Hun-Kamé’s power, and dethrone the treacherous brother who stole his crown.

Rooted in Mayan beliefs and Mexican tradition, the mythology in this book is something I have been minimally exposed to in fantasy/fiction literature – and even in everyday life. From what I have seen and read, most authors draw inspiration from Greek myths and European medieval times because these are the threads most familiar to general audiences. Gods of Jade and Shadow may be fiction, and therefore should not be taken as fact, but the insight it gave into Mayan and Mexican culture was truly fascinating! Additionally, readers get to travel through a 1920s Mexico. So much literature and film associated with this time period solely focuses on the United States, and specifically New York, that it is easy to forget the rest of the world existed during this era as well. The use of a Jazz Age setting is highly suitable for this narrative since it was a time of liberation, and Casiopea liberates herself from a life she does not want. The uniqueness of the mythology and setting in this novel set it apart from the mainstream. These characteristics are what originally attracted me to the book, and they are one of its strongest components.

Gods of Jade and Shadow positions itself to be a revenge narrative, but transforms as the characters develop. The hatred that Hun-Kamé feels toward his brother and the severe dislike Casiopea harbors for Martín fade as the novel progresses. Perhaps one of the most important messages readers can derive from this story is the power of forgiveness. These two characters never forget their sufferings, and do not forgive immediately, but, throughout their travels, come to realize that acting out of spite does nothing to end the cycle of hate. The character development in this novel is very strong, truly manifesting itself at the end, and not just in protagonists, but in the antagonists as well.

The romance, with its bittersweet conclusion, was far from what I expected, though I genuinely appreciated it. From the beginning, Casiopea and Hun-Kamé knew their time together would end, and while it did not stop them from forming an attachment to one another, they understood the need to let each other go. This “doomed romance” was important for a couple of reasons. One, it’s very realistic. Sometimes people are just passing moments in our lives. Two people can care deeply for one another and still know – due to any amount of circumstances – that a relationship is impractical. That is simply the way of life. I love a good, romantic tale, but I really liked this pragmatic approach to love.

In addition to the realism, Casiopea yearned for freedom for so long that it would not have made sense to tie her down. Relationships are built on compromises, and though this is not necessarily a bad thing, for someone who has craved freedom for so long to immediately attach themselves to another results in them undermining their core desires. It was important for Casiopea prove that she alone could be both brave and strong.

My main criticism is the RPG-like nature of the novel: the characters traveled from place to place, collecting the items needed to regain Hun-Kamé his throne. Furthermore, these items were relatively easy to collect. Casiopea an Hun-Kamé did face challenges, but they were quickly overcome. Where there was potential for great action and thrills, there was a lack of them. The majority of the action comes near the end of the novel, as Martín and Casiopea race along the Black Road. This very intense portion of the book was riveting, but the action could have been more evenly distributed throughout.

Another, small critique I have is in regard to Martín’s character. Moreno-Garcia shifts perspectives between Martín and Casiopea, but the story was much less captivating when focused on Martín. He did play an essential role in the climax, and so some background about how he got entangled with Vucub-Kamé was necessary; however, Martín is a petulant person, so it is difficult to find any sympathy for him. Conceivably, Moreno-Garcia tried to make readers feel sympathetic toward him, owing to his forced subjugation to Vucub-Kamé, but this was not particularly effective. The shift in his character by the conclusion was nice to see, though I wish the change had been more gradual. In my opinion, it would have steadily lessened his whininess as the novel progressed.

Gods of Jade and Shadow is a wholly enjoyable read. I recommend it to anyone who has an interest in Mayan mythology and Mexican culture, as well as lovers of fantasy/fiction in general.

Rating: 3.75/5

Read Gods of Jade and Shadow? Tell me: What were your thoughts?

[imaginativecrime]

7 reasons The Witcher series is a mess (or damn I need to vent)

Unpopular opinion time! For the record, I’ve read the books, played the games, hell, I’ve binged the Polish movie and series (because my love for Michal Zebrowski and Zbigniew Zamachowski is undying, sue me), and I was super hyped. Then I spent the entire series yelling at the TV, so I made a handy numbered list of the reasons why I personally consider it mediocre at best.

Because I’m fucking disappointed and I’ll never not be bitter about it. Fact.

Be warned, there are all sorts of spoilers below.

Let’s look at some of the issues that affected the show as a whole:

1) Adaptation is hard work - but you have to do it right

Adapting a story from one medium to another is difficult, you inevitably have to change things to make it suitable to the new form of expression and also, everybody wants their adaptation to be unique, to emphasize points they think are important, to reflect on the current times, you name it. But changes in an adaptation should make sense and lend themselves to the storytelling.

Many changes in the series were arbitrary, nonsensical and contributed absolutely nothing. One such example is the Battle of Sodden Hill, a terribly executed “siege” with not enough extras to fill a classroom instead of a battle of 100 000 people. Writing out Redania, Aedirn and the Brotherhood of Sorcerers from the conflict doesn’t seem to have a point to it, while the delayed arrival of the armies of Temeria and Kaedwen is both unexplained, unlikely and underwhelming, not to mention that it completely undermines the Nilfgaardian threat as a whole. This, of course, is just the tip of the iceberg of all the things that are wrong with Sodden Hill in the series. 

Or take Foltest and his affair with Adda. It is perfectly clear in the books that after seven years of wizards, witchers and all manner of frauds coming and going while Foltest is obsessed with breaking the curse instead of killing his daughter, even the very last blind and deaf peasant knows about his shenanigans. It’s only logical, too. The story is relayed to Geralt in no uncertain terms at the very beginning. Now in the show the whole episode is too short to set up a murder mystery that requires Geralt’s incredible detective skills (uhuh) to unravel. What is worse is that you cannot make a big reveal of something that your audience actually has previous knowledge about. So why even bother to have Foltest deny it and have Geralt beat it out of Ostrit? 

Which brings us to point two:

2) We all know which way to Temeria, don’t we?

Even if you have popular source material, you cannot expect everyone to know it. An adaptation has to consider people who are just getting their first introduction to the sandbox. When your lore is as rich as that of the Witcher, you need time and careful effort to set up your world. The show made a total shit job of this one. As in the above example, sometimes the show ignores that we, as an audience, know things. 

Another example is Vilgefortz. We know him, his plans, abilities and allegiances, we have very specific expectations of his character. Besides completely failing these expectations (and doing a very unconvincing early reveal of his true colors), the show goes as far as taking Vilgefortz’s iconic sentence (You mistake stars reflected in a pond for the night sky.) and putting it in Fringilla’s mouth. Like did they actually think we wouldn’t notice? Or not be pissed?

At other times the show expects us to fill in its glaring blanks exactly by knowing our lore and characters. One obvious, overarching example of this is the issue of the separate timelines, that sometimes left even fans a little confused. Also, fun fact: one of my friends (who has no idea about anything in the Witcher’s world) for instance needed some time to realize Pavetta wasn’t, in fact, a grown-up Ciri, and he remains to this day very confused about Blaviken.

Basically, we are on a swing here, which is actually made even worse by another thing: bad pacing.

3) Hold your Roach for a moment

The first season wants to cram too much into its limited time and it has a severe negative impact on worldbuilding and character development. By bringing in all three timelines from the beginning, the show has to juggle time allotted to each. 

To be frank, Ciri’s timeline at this point consists of a lot of running and screaming, which in itself hardly merits all the time we spend with her. It could have been utilized in part to provide us with a view of the war from ‘below’, to show that beyond the high politics and heroic battles there are burned villages, dead peasants, people who lost everything, cripples, deserters, ruined fields, and so on. Instead, we get one refugee camp of neat tents, actual beds, food and complaints about Calanthe (though not of dead husbands, lost homes or winter). Though I guess it should come as no surprise that the shock value of paint being made from a woman’s reproductory organs (that never happened in the books) is more important than actual large scale human suffering.

Now giving Yennefer an extended back story is great. But by that level of extension once again time is being consumed that is taking other opportunities away. Opportunities like giving Geralt himself a bit more background, clarifying points for fresh faces in the audience, giving characters more time for meaningful interaction. Because there is not enough time to let the story breathe and progress naturally, episodes are often rushed, choppy, and shallow. 

4) Reverse worldbuilding, aka welcome to nowhere 

Another serious issue with worldbuilding is what I suspect to be a deliberate departure from the game visuals and aesthetic. One of the things I adore most about the games is that it built heavily on Eastern European history and folk tradition. Nothing compares to the feeling when you ride into a village and you feel right at home because things are inherently familiar, or you go out into the woods and hear the exact bird song you are used to.

Netflix is very careful not to even offer a whiff of this particular identity to its show, but it doesn’t seem to have a clear artistic vision beyond that. Thus while landscapes are nice enough, other settings such as cities, taverns, ballrooms and the like are horribly bland in that “this is how we imagine the middle ages in Hollywood” way and look exactly what they are: sets. While one is not likely to quickly forget the red rooftops of Novigrad or the wild beauty of the Kaer Morhen pass from the games, there is nothing memorable about the locations presented in the series. (Even more bewildering is the depiction of the elite boarding school of Aretuza as a creepy dungeon with elf skulls everywhere. I cannot even begin to address this one unless it is all in caps.) 

Point being that the show lacks an actual visual identity that would distinguish it from any other dime a dozen medieval fantasy.

5) My kingdom for a decent wardrobe

Sadly enough, the bland and flavorless visuals have a terrible effect on something else: clothes and armor. While some costumes are well done, there are way too many examples of the opposite. One very obviously is Nilfgaardian armor, which looks like fossilized trash bags with sad dick helmets. The fact that armor in the show is treated as the equivalent of cardboard is doing no one any favors. Please do your homework next time. Please?

Another inexplicable departure from the books and games is the appearance of the nobility, and most jarringly, sorceresses. That dress Yennefer picks out the first time? It’s literally the drabbest, ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, and the others are not much better. When it comes to period-accurate choices, the range is just so wide: we are talking cambric, velvet, silk, cloth of gold and silver. We are talking luxurious furs, embroidery, colorful feathers, bright dyes, coats of arms and jewelry. Brooches, necklaces, bracelets, rings, hat badges, belt buckles, hairpins, you name it. People wore their wealth. Making them look like sad orphans will not make them look any more medieval.

Peasant clothes also had their decorations, though to a lesser degree than nobles, obviously. But I guess it’s too much to hope that those would get any attention when queens are dressed like they lost a bet.

6) I see your people and I raise you mine

Including people of color in the casting choices caused a lot of heated debate amongst the fans, but at least it means that the show cares about minority representation, right? Right?

The world of the Witcher has its own minorities, and what we have seen of them so far is so incredibly pathetic that I haven’t the words. For one thing, they look so terrible that elves in the Polish series actually look better, and that was so not a high bar to exceed. To make matters worse, they again seem to lack any sort of distinguishing visual identity (except for the Dryads. I’m also willing to make an exception for Chireadan, as he actually looks right and he’s a settled elf.)

Sadly, unlike the games, the series also fails to establish even the beginnings of a compelling narrative for its minorities, which definitely needs to be in place by the time Thanedd happens at the very latest. What is more, we seem to be given something called the Great Cleansing, which is plenty obscure but comes across as a Night of Broken Glass sort of thing (though that could be just me). While still salvageable at this point, this shift in narrative is cause for some concern, and so far doesn’t make much sense.

7) Your villains are not my villains

Unlike the books and games, the Witcher series sadly doesn’t seem to excel at presenting opposing sides without the need to vilify one (which again, makes me worried about what they are going to do to the Scoia’tael later). 

Nilfgaard is now an Empire of Evil (TM) that lives for killing and religious fanaticism, Fringilla is a psychopath, and Cahir... Well, Cahir is a thousand shades of wrong all on his own. Stregobor and Istredd are now assholes of a whole different caliber, and even poor Eyck of Denesle gets to enjoy his five minutes of fame as a madman frothing at the mouth instead of a paragon of knightly virtue.

This is going so well.

[aion-rsa]

11 Diverse Vampire Stories To Read Instead of Midnight Sun

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There’s a very good chance we’re going to read Midnight Sun, the companion novel to pop culture juggernaut Twilight that retells the first story in the Stephanie Meyer YA vampire series from Edward Cullen’s perspective. But we can enjoy something while also being critical of it, and the truth is: our culture deserves more, better vampire stories than what the Twilight saga has to offer. With that in mind, we’ve pooled our collective knowledge to recommend the following vampire stories that have more diverse and imaginative takes on the popular genre. From short stories to book series, hopefully there’s something here for you…

Fledgling by Octavia Butler

A good general rule of life to follow is that if Octavia Butler has written something in a particular genre, you should read it. And that’s as true in the world of vampire fiction as anywhere else. Fledging was the final book Butler published before her untimely death in 2006 and, though it’s technically a vampire story, it’s also a whole lot more than that.

Much in the same way that Butler’s Kindred is a time travel story that tackles physical and psychological horrors of slavery, Fledging is a vampire tale that explores issues of racism and sexuality. In it, a 10-year-old girl with amnesia discovers that she’s not actually a girl at all, but a fifty-something hybrid member of the Ina. Ina are basically what we understand as vampires in this universe – they’re a nocturnal, long-lived species who survive by drinking human blood. They’ve formed something of a symbiotic relationship with the humans they live alongside, using them as a food source in exchange for boosting their immune systems and helping them live (much) longer.

As Shori regains her memories of her former life, Fledging uses her unique situation as an avenue to explore timely issues of bigotry and identity. As a human-Ina hybrid, Shuri has been genetically modified to have dark skin, allowing her to go outside for brief periods during the day, but drawing the ire and distrust of others. As the novel further explores complex issues of family and connection – both the Ina and their human symbionts tend to mate in packs – Butler pokes at Shori’s uniquely uncomfortable position of being the master over one particular group, even as she herself is considered part of something like an underclass within Ina culture. And the end result is something that’s much more than a vampire tale, even as it embraces—and outright parodies—some of its most obvious tropes. 

– Lacy Baugher

Buy Fledgling by Octavia Butler on Amazon

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

Twilight’s sin was not in trying to make vampires sexy all over again (it’s OK to make bloodsuckers cool), but rather in amplifying the teenage girl protagonist’s desire while blunting her agency. In doing so, Meyer maintained the dynamic of traditional vampire narratives instead of modernizing it. Five years after Breaking Dawn was released, Holly Black redeemed the YA vampire novel with her standalone tale, set in a world where it’s not just one hormonal teenager who’s dying to be a vampire, but all of society craving that sweet sweet immortality.

In Black’s world, everyone wants to be Cold: infected by a vampire bite but neither killed nor made into a fully-fledged vampire. Not until they drink human blood, at least. But in an effort to control the rising population of vampires and Cold people, the governments created Coldtowns, trapping both in a never-ending party town. The titular Coldest girl is Tana, who wakes up after a (very human, very teenage) rager to find almost everyone slaughtered and herself bitten. Fearing that she has become Cold, she voluntarily turns herself in to the nearest Coldtown along with her also-bitten ex-boyfriend Aidan and Gavriel, a vampire who seeks to take down the uber-vampire who rules the Coldtown.

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown is a sly riff on the vampire obsession that took over pop culture in the early 2000s, yet still its own cautionary tale about chasing after a glamorous, self-destructive afterlife. The cast of characters are fully fleshed-out, from a twin with a fangirl blog to Gavriel as an actually suitable vampire love interest to Tana Bach herself, who gets to be proactive where Bella Swan was always reactive. Best of all, it knows that it doesn’t need to lure readers back to a franchise, like vampires returning again and again to feed, instead telling its entire story in one bloody, chilly gulp.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy The Coldest Girl in Coldtown on Amazon

Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan LeFanu, edited by Carmen Maria Machado

A quarter-century before Bram Stoker’s Dracula, a different vampire seduced young women away from the suffocating constraints of their lives by awakening within their blood a thrilling, oft-considered perverse, desire. That it is a female vampire—the eponymous Carmilla, known also by her aliases Mircalla and Millarca—likely explains why LeFanu’s text is either incredibly well-known among niche circles, or entirely absent from pop cultural canons. Yet the moment you read it, its depiction of the heady attraction between innocent Laura and possessive Carmilla is anything but subtext.

Like Dracula, this Gothic horror novella is presented as a found text, with a frame narrative of occult detective Dr. Hesselius presenting Laura’s bizarre case… but also to some extent controlling her voice. In her new introduction, Machado posits a startling new contextualization: that Hesselius and Laura’s correspondence is not a fictional device, but a fictionalization of real-life letters between a Doctor Peter Fontenot and Veronika Hausle, about the latter’s charged relationship with the alluring Marcia Marén. That their relationship provided the basis for Laura and Carmilla, but that only the tragic parts were transmuted through the vampire metaphor, excising the queer joy of their partnership, further illustrates how these stories fail their subjects. Yet neither is Marén wholly innocent; as with In the Dream House, Machado does not flinch away from imperfect or even violent queer relationships, such as they resemble any other dynamic between two people.

It’s best to read Machado’s Russian nesting doll narrative without knowing much about her motivations. Though it might be useful to consider how she ends the introduction with something of a confession: “The act of interacting with text—that is to say, of reading—is that of inserting one’s self into what is static and unchanging so that it might pump with fresh blood.” Or try running some of these names through anagram filters.

And if that whets your appetite for other adaptations, the 2014 Carmilla web series both wrestles the frame story back into Laura’s hands, in the form of a video-diary journalism project, and makes the Laura/Carmilla romance very much text.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy Carmilla on Amazon

A Phoenix Must First Burn, edited by Patrice Caldwell

A Phoenix Must First Burn is a collection of sixteen short stories about magic, fantasy, and sci-fi that focus on Black women and gender non-conforming individuals. The book features stories about fantasy creatures of all kinds, witches, shape shifters, and vampires alike. What they have in common is that they are stories about and by Black people, and they offer unique takes on familiar lore.

Bella Swan is a great protagonist in the Twilight series because she is whatever the reader needs her to be. Just distinct enough that you can conjure her in your mind, but mostly a blank slate for the reader to step into the story with her, using her as their avatar. That’s a generality specific to White characters. In A Phoenix Must First Burn, the protagonists are Black. This gives them a very particular point of view, and one that isn’t as common in fantasy, and in the vampire tales of yore.

In Stephenie Meyer’s world vampires look like they’re lathered in Fenty body shimmer when they’re in direct sunlight. In “Letting the Right One In,” Patrice Caldwell gives us a vampire who is a Black girl, with dark brown skin, and coiled hair. Sparkling vampires are certainly a unique spin, but the Cullens are still White and don’t challenge any ideas of what it means to be an immortal blood-drinking creature of the night. A Phoenix Must First Burn shifts the lens to focus on the experience of Black folks, and allows them to be magical, enigmatic, and romantic.

– Nicole Hill

Buy A Phoenix First Must Burn on Amazon

Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

In the Twilight series, we’re introduced to vampires from other cultures, but they are all very much the same, save for their individual power sets which appear to be unrelated to their ethnicity or nationality. In Certain Dark Things, vampires are a species with several different subspecies and where they come from influences how they look and what kind of powers they have.

Atl is from Mexico and is bird-winged descendent of Blood-drinking Aztecs. The Necros, European vampires, have an entirely different look and set of abilities. Certain Dark Things doesn’t just include vampires from all around the world, it incorporates vampire mythology from all of those places, filling its world with a rich array of distinct vampires with their specific quirks and gifts.

In his four-star review of the book on Goodreads, author Rick Riordan had this to say. “Throwing vampire myths from so many cultures together was right down my alley. If you like vampire books but would appreciate some . . . er, fresh blood . . . this is a fast-paced read that breathes fresh life into the genre.” Riordan, who opened up his literary world to new storytellers and has championed authors of color is certainly a person whose opinion holds weight. Vampires haven’t gone out of style, but the Draculas and Edward Cullens are.

– Nicole Hill

Buy Certain Dark Things on Amazon

Vampires Never Get Old, edited by Zoriada Córdova & Natalie C. Parker

This anthology featuring vampires who lurk on social media just as much as they lurk in the night will hit the bookstore shelves on September 22, just in time to start prepping for Halloween. Edited by Zoriada Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, the collection features eleven new stories and a really fantastic author list, populated with a diverse group of authors from a ton of backgrounds and sexualities. The contributors include V. E. Schwab, known for her “Darker Shade of Magic” series; Nebula, Hugo, and Locus Award-winner, Rebecca Roanhorse; Internment author Samira Ahmed; Dhionelle Clayton, author of The Belles and Tiny Pretty Things; “The Blood Journals” author Tessa Gratton (who also contributed to the super spooky looking Edgar Allan Poe-inspired His Hideous Heart); Heidi Heilig, author of the “Shadow Players” trilogy; Julie Murphy, whose book Dumplin’ was adapted for the Netflix film of the same name; Lammy Award winner Mark Oshiro, whose forthcoming YA fantasy Each of Us a Desert will hit stands just before this anthology; Thirteen Doorways author Laura Ruby; and essayist and short story writer Kayla Whaley.

There are a lot of YA authors on this list, many of whom crossover to adult, so there’s a good chance readers will find some of their favorite kinds of angsty vampires on these pages, as well as body-conscious vampires, and vamps coming out as well as going out into the night, seeking for their perfect victim—or just looking for love.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Buy Vampires Never Get Old on Amazon

Choice of the Vampire by Jason Stevan Hill

Back in 2010, when I was first getting to know interactive fiction, Jason Stevan Hill wrote Choice of the Vampire for the still-relatively new company, Choice of Games. A sequel came out in 2013, and this year, the third interactive novel, in which you, the reader make the choices, releases. Best played from a mobile device (although you can play in your browser as well), the interactive novels from Choice of Games are always fun (disclosure: I have written a few), and they’re dedicated to featuring inclusive options to let players express their personalities, gender identities, and sexualities within the confines of the game. Choice of the Vampire starts players as young vampires in 1815 New Orleans. In The Fall of Memphis, the story moves to 1873, and rather than facing the concerns of learning to survive their unlife adventures, players get embroiled in the politics of Memphis, where vampires are electing a new Senator, and the Klan is on the rise. 

With the release of St. Louis, Unreal City, the intention is that the two earlier games will be combined into one larger omnibus, so that players can have an uninterrupted play experience of the full story. St. Louis, Unreal City moves the story forward into 1879, in a St. Louis where the first wave of Chinese immigrants and the dismantling of Reconstruction force the city to face its systemic racism. As workers demand greater rights—and rich financiers attempt to keep control of the nation’s wealth—vampires have to continue to hide, lest they be destroyed. But when one of their own lets loose the beast, causing terror in the streets of America, players have to decide how their character will triumph in a changing world. Stevan Hill pours a ton of historical detail into the scenes he creates, making these vampire stories as much historical fiction as they are fantasy or horror. In advance of the release of the newest installment, the first two games have been updated with new material, so if you’ve played them before, they’re worth a replay before you launch into Night Road!

– Alana Joli Abbott

Moonshine by Alaya Dawn Johnson

Like the first two Choice of the Vampire stories, Moonshine, which came out in 2010, embroils its protagonist in the social struggles of its era: the 1920s of New York City. Zephyr Hollis is an activist, devoted to creating equality for both humans and Others, including vampires, despite her upbringing as the daughter of a demon-hunter. She’s immune to vampire bites, which is helpful when she discovers a newly-turned child vampire; if she turns him in, the authorities will kill him, so soft-hearted Zephyr takes the child in and feeds him her own blood. When she’s approached by a jinn, Amir, to use her cover as a charity worker to undermine a vampire mob boss in exchange for his help with the child, he doesn’t explain what he’s after—but Zephyr’s intrigued enough by the idea (and Amir) that she gets involved. If you already finished Johnson’s newest novel, The Trouble with Saints (also set in historical New York, this one during World War II), returning to this earlier novel and its sequel, Wicked City, will be a fast-paced treat.

Buy Moonshine on Amazon

“A Kiss With Teeth” by Max Gladstone

There are not a ton of stories out there about vampire parenting—and fewer that are more about what it means to be a parent, what it means to give up the person you were before (even it that person was a monster). Max Gladstone’s 2014 short story, published at Tor.com, is absolutely a vampire story in the classic sense: a hunt, a victim, a struggle. But it’s also the tale of a vampire, Vlad, who settles down with a vampire hunter, and the changes that settling down create for both of them. How can a parent be honest with his child when he’s hiding something so core to his identity? Even playing baseball in the park requires Vlad to hide his own strength. And how can he work with the teacher to help his son with struggling grades when that teacher is the ideal prey? The idea of being a vampire blends with the idea of hiding an affair, of planning to do something that shouldn’t be done, and then determining whether or not to do it. The way the story is written, it’s hard to tell where it’s going to go, or how two parents hiding so much about themselves can ever be honest with their child—but when it comes to the end, Gladstone knocks it out of the park.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Queen of Kings by Maria Dahvana Headley

The visual of Cleopatra dying with a poisonous asp clutched to her breast is an iconic, Shakespearean-tinged bit of history that we all learned in our ancient Egypt history units. However, Headley’s debut novel gives the queen a bit more credit, by reimagining that instead of going all Romeo and Juliet after the supposed death of her lover Marc Antony, she strikes a bargain with Sekhmet, goddess of death and destruction who has nonetheless begun fading away due to a dearth of worship. In Shakespearean fashion, things go awry when Sekhmet seizes control of Cleopatra, transforming her into an immortal being and transmuting her revenge into a literal bloodlust.

Unable to die, with her lover still slain and her children in danger, Cleopatra must battle the dark force within her urging her to drain others of their lifeforce and let loose Sekhmet’s seven children (plague, famine, drought, flood, earthquake, violence, and madness) upon the ancient world. What’s more, she also has to contend with the mortal threat of recently-appointed emperor Caesar Augustus and the three sorcerers he has rallied to fight the queen-turned-demigod. Drawing from Egyptian mythology to contextualize various familiar vampire tropes (the aforementioned bloodsucking, aversion to sunlight, and weakness for silver), Queen of Kings reinvigorates the vampire mythos through a historical figure who deserved to exist long beyond her mortal lifetime.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy Queen of Kings on Amazon

Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett

Sir Terry never met a trope he didn’t take the opportunity to parody, but his Discworld take on the vampire mythos is more love bite than going for the jugular. His Magpyrs embody the classic vampires, with all their subgenre trappings, but also are an example of how a supernatural race seeks to evolve beyond its bloody history and try something new. To be clear, these Magpyrs are still in it to drain humans dry, and they’ve developed cunning methods of doing so: a propensity for bright colors over drab blacks, the ability to stay up til noon and survive in direct sunlight, a taste for garlic and wine along with their plasma.

But the clash between the youngest immortals, who seek to overtake the mountain realm of Lancre as their new home, and dutiful servant Igor, who misses “the old wayth” (he’s a traditionalist down to the lisp), reveals a tension familiar to any long-ruling dynasty or established subculture: Change with the times, or adapt but lose what makes you unique? In struggling with this intergenerational dilemma, the Magpyrs find the perfect opponents in Lancre’s coven: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat, and Agnes—four witches who find themselves taking on different roles within the mother/maiden/crone dynamic as life changes force shifts in their identities. Between these relatable personal conflicts and a hall of vampire portraits that pays homage to Ann Rice and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Carpe Jugulum gently ribs the vampire subgenre rather than put a stake through its heart.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy Carpe Jugulum on Amazon

Do you have any vampire story recommendations that challenge the traditional tropes of the genre in interesting and diverse ways? Let us know in the comments below.

The post 11 Diverse Vampire Stories To Read Instead of Midnight Sun appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[rezares]

Sorcerery History & Culture in The Maghreb in the BDRP Universe

In which eight months of McKala’s worldbuilding, research, and bullshitting culminate in this

 History

 Magicks in the Maghreb (Northwest Africa) have always been stigmatized, dating back to even before French and English colonialism in the region. However, the stigma attached to them intensified under colonialism. Colonial oppressors tapped into the existing mystery and distrust surrounding magicks to further suppress them. A magick community under fire from both colonizers and the colonized was ideal in the age of European colonialism of Africa, Asia, and The Americas. Similar models of targeted, brutal oppression of magicks of invaded lands have been noted in historical documents from the Sasanian, Carthaginian, and Roman Empires.

 Pre-colonial opinions of magicks ranged from distrusting tolerance to codified oppression. It should be noted that the first recorded targeted killing of magicks appeared in documents unearthed in Cape Bon (Watan el-kibli) from the Greco-Punic Wars, dated at around 300 B.C. It tells of the wives of Carthaginian soldiers killed in battle in Sicily killing a sorcerer couple who rivaled with their commanding officer, believing them to have cursed their husbands.

 Magicks were subject to system of oppression under the Roman Empire, however, this was only really enforced in the cities. Outlying towns and villages, and the nomadic tribes at the time, operated on their own rules as long as they stayed out of the Romans’ way. Some were more lax, some were more draconian. The Romans themselves were friendly to sorcery. However, oppressing the sorcerers in conquered territory was vital to squashing dissent.

 The next several hundred years, under the Vandals and the Byzantine Empire, magicks lived in a constant cycle of freedom, oppression, freedom, oppression. It varied from leader to leader.

 By 705, the Islamic Conquests had taken over all of modern-day Tunisia. This period provided a degree consistency for magicks. Some Caliphates were harsher than others, however, much of this period is regarded as the Golden Age of Magicks in Tunisia and much of the Maghreb. Caliphates of this period thought it was to their advantage to negotiate with magicks rather than oppressing and slaughtering them. Alliances with magicks proved wise in several documented battles. Tensions were recorded throughout this time period, but generally, magicks could live in peace in often segregated communities.

The early Islamic era came to an end when the Shia Islamic Fatimid Caliphate departed to their newly conquered territories in Egypt leaving the Zirid dynasty to govern in their stead. Normans from Sicily raided the east coast of Ifriqiya for the first time in 1123. After some years of attacks, in 1148 Normans under George of Antioch conquered all the coastal cities of Tunisia: Bona (Annaba), Sfax, Gabès, and Tunis. By the thirteenth-century, the Golden Age of magicks in Tunisia was solidly over, as they were oppressed from all groups in the area blaming them for tensions with each other, plagues, anything that could justify hatred of magicks.

 Under the Ottoman Empire, as the Eyalet of Tunis (1574–1705) and the Beylik of Tunis (1705–1881), Tunisia saw another period of mellowing in magick-mundus relations. However, this was hardly a repeat of the Golden Age. Restrictions on magicks were heavy, prison time and forced servitude were common, but it is interesting to note that the death sentence for magic use introduced in 1280 was lifted in 1610, after falling out of enforcement around the 1520s.

 Tensions were pervasive in the lives of magicks, especially sorcerers who did not have the escape that fairies and were-folk often did. In the last hundred years of the Ottoman Empire’s reign over the region, laws became increasingly more restrictive, anti-magick violence saw a steady spike, and when Tunisia became a French Protectorate in 1881, it escalated.

 As colonists usually did, the French tightened restrictions on magicks in their holdings in Africa. Though Tunisia gained independence in 1956, the effects of French colonialism linger - and for Tunisian magicks, it isn’t just the language they left behind.

 The oppression continued through the 20th century, through all of Ben Ali’s regime until his ousting during the Arab Spring, and has continued under a democratic Tunisia.

 The High Council

Across three countries - Tunisia, Libya, and Algeria, and some outstanding regions - a High Council of sorcerers has existed since before artificial colonial borders were drawn. The Council acts as a governing body, and clear rules for how a sorcerer is to conduct themselves to be granted herd protection are in place. One of these rules is that protecting the community must not come at the cost of rolling back peace progress. Education and peace-making efforts are their favored weapon against danger caused by ignorance-born hatred.

However, this is not always strongly enforced. The Council often neglects to denounce sorcerers unless it brings problems onto the community. Sorcerers that react with violence covertly to defend the community, are often not scolded.

 Sorcerer Culture & Practices

Sorcerer culture in the Maghreb is distinct from sorcerer culture in other parts of the world due to the flip-flopping of the sub-group’s safety. While periods of oppression or enjoying basic rights didn’t just switch overnight, the memory of difficult periods of their history remained alive in good times through oral storytelling, and what historical records were kept.

 There is generally less competition between sorcerers than in some other parts of the world, as there is a strong sense of community among Maghrebi sorcerers. During the era of European colonization of the region, Maghrebi sorcerers often viewed ethnic European sorcerers as more of the “out group” than, say, werewolves or fairies from the Maghreb. European sorcerers were seen as agents of the colonizers, and viewed as, ultimately, more loyal to them. Attitudes toward foreign sorcerers didn’t really begin to shift until the 1980s.

 Since it has typically been unwise to wear one’s magic on their sleeve, any evidence of being a sorcerer must be easily disguisable.

 Tunisian sorcerers of all genders favor daggers as wands. Daggers can be plain or ornate, hand crafted by the individual, or passed down the generations. They can be easily hidden in large pockets, under modern dresses and t-shirts, and within traditional clothing. Algerians and Libyans generally follow the same practice, with regional or personal alternatives. Moroccan sorceresses often wear bracelets that function as their wand.

 Grimoires written in Tunisia are rare and highly valuable. Tunisian sorcerers are often forced to memorize everything from what reagents look and feel like, to complicated multi-page spells, without ever having the luxury of reading or writing them down. It is dangerous to be found with writing pertaining to sorcery. While it is not legally punishable by death, sorcerers do fall victim to mob sentencing; legally, there can be prison time.

 Because it is impossible for any one person to memorize the whole world of magic inside their one brain, sorcerers are not educated by the standard Master-Apprentice system.

 Rather, the community educates apprentices together and everybody brings their unique skills to the table. Master sorcerers still call those under their tutelage apprentices, but they are almost never an apprentice’s sole Master. It would not be uncommon for a relatively young Master sorcerer, say, in their late thirties, to mention having had a dozen or more apprentices. If a Master helps teach a young sorcerer that is one of five siblings, then they probably also helped teach the other four.

 Perhaps the most unique aspect of Maghrebi sorcerer culture, is their use of sign language. Maghrebi Sorcerer Sign is a sign language unique to the sorcerer community, and is mutually unintelligible from Libyan Sign Language, Tunisian Sign Language Algerian Sign Language, and Moroccan Sign Language alike. It also predates the existence of any of these modern sign languages. Deaf and Hearing sorcerers use MSS on a daily basis.

There are sorcerers who only know how to cast certain spells nonverbally, solely using MSS for that spell. MSS is the collective term used to describe what is better described as a collective of localized signed conlangs. There is no official linguistic research done on MSS - naturally, as it is dangerous to reveal oneself as a sorcerer - but it is known that sorcerers from different regions, let alone countries, may have communication hurdles if they try to solely communicate using MSS.

 Sorcerers across the region, however, have a second method of secret communication. There is a secret spoken language as well. Similar to the use of Polari in the United Kingdom, it is an argot meant to prevent outsiders from understanding the conversation. The language - best known as Ahk’hdi - is also used in other neighboring parts of Africa - as far as Ethiopia.

 Ahk’hdi traces its origins back to the 11th century. It comes from a mixture of Mediterranean Lingua Franca, Amazigh languages (primarily Kabyle and Shilha), Arabic, Amharic, and  Ottoman Turkish. Ahk’hdi is full of Arabic, Amharic, Turkish, and broadly Romance words that are given a similar treatment to English words in back slang, and French words in verlan. Like MSS, Ahk'hdi does differ from region to region, however, Ethiopian sorcerers, Tunisian sorcerers, and Algerian sorcerers can easily communicate together in Ahk'di with only occasional slips into a more widely known lingua franca.

[think32blog]

Thoughts on the border by Phil Mac Giolla Bháin

I was introduced to the realities of the Border when the “cattle boat” which had sailed from the Broomielaw in Glasgow to North Wall in Dublin was taken off line.

Then the ten year old me learned about places like Stranraer and Larne.

In order to get to Dublin to take the train to my father’s town of Westport we had to cross the Border.

The last time I recall that militarised demarcation line entering my consciousness was in the summer of 1994.

We crossed the Border from Fermanagh into Leitrim and a very large member of An Garda Síochána looked at my green passport.

When he saw my name as Gaeilge it prompted a question in the first language of the state:

"Cá bhfuil sibh ag dul?” he asked me.

“Táimid ag dul go Contae Mhaigh Eo.”

We were indeed going to my father’s county in the Wesht for a family holiday.

Such a linguistic interaction on the other side of the line would have been dangerously out of place, especially with the locally recruited security forces.

As we drove towards the West we all felt a relief to be in our own place and not in the Six Counties.

While we were in Mayo Ireland beat Italy at soccer in New York and a British death squad did their stuff at Loughinisland.

Two years later we had settled back home in Ireland.

For herself and me, both with an Irish born parent and Irish grandparents on the other side of the house this little island was always home.

We’ve reared our brood here in this the quintessential Border county of Donegal.

Much has changed here since the days of Brits and checkpoints.

These days I think nothing of driving to Derry for NUJ meetings or to pillage the local shopping centres as post-Brexit Sterling tumbles against the Euro.

Over that twenty one years the Partition line has slowly dissolved and the European Union has played a positive role in minimising that geo-political disfigurement on this island.

However, now we could be faced with some of it coming back again.

In February 2016 before the Brexit vote I wrote a piece for the Scottish politics Blog Bella Caledonia.

It might warrant another read now.

A lot of my fears expressed in that piece appear worryingly prescient.

The Irish story over the centuries has been about events in Europe and Britain having unforeseen yet profoundly long lasting consequences here in Ireland, e.g. the Reformation, counter-reformation, French revolution and the First World War.

They all had a uniquely Irish impact on people here.

Now the UK has decided to do walking away from the European Union.

My green passport is no more, it was a beautiful document with a gold inlaid Harp.

Although my merlot coloured travel document today isn’t nearly as aesthetically pleasing I view the EU livery is an emblem of peaceful cooperation for a continent disfigured by centuries of war.

The Peace Process on this island probably couldn’t have occurred without the Maastricht Treaty.

In creating a more harmonised union across the continent of Europe the stage was set for two member states of the EU, assisted by the Clinton Administration, to explore a dénouement to the war situation on this island.

Back then I was privy to the thinking of some senior Republicans as they entered the talks that would produce the Good Friday Agreement.

They were calculating, prescient men.

Some of them had spent a large chunk of their youth in British prisons.

This had given them with the ability to sketch out a long game, but at no point did I hear anyone gaming out Britain leaving the European Union!

However, we are nearly at that juncture.

I have, in recent weeks, spoken to some old comrades from that time.

We shared a joke about how events can blindside all of us.

Some things, though, do not change.

The modern Irish revolutionary tradition, which emerged in the 19th century was based on the following rationale:

England will only attend to Ireland when the Irish become a problem for them.

When the people of Ireland were docile then they could literally starve to death and it didn’t really register with the Westminster tribe.

Now the Bullingdon boys are startled that the Micks could actually create a roadblock to Brexit on the Lifford to Stabane road.

The Backstop…

We now have the situation where even a Taoiseach who last year wore a local variant of the Poppy in Dáil Éireann cannot agree with the Grand Old Dame Britannia on what to do with her Irish frontier.

The son of an Indian immigrant and educated at an exclusive  private school that has a  Church of Ireland ethos, Varadkar isn’t exactly a Provo from central casting.

Indeed he might be the most pro-British Taoiseach in the history of the State.

When such a person can cause Border problems for the ruling elite on the Thames then we are truly in uncharted waters.

I think the fact that Leo Varadkar’s Chief Whip during that phase of the negotiations was Donegal TD Joe McHugh might be one of those small details that can ultimately have significant implications.

I’ve known Joe since he was an unfancied candidate for the County Council here.

His political career has spanned the Good Friday Agreement and he has been involved in several EU funded cross Border initiatives.

During the Phase One part of the Withdrawal Agreement talks there appeared to be a binary choice between a hard border or Northern Ireland remaining within the Single Market and the Customs Union.

Quite simply there would need to be a trade border either at Lifford or Larne.

Of course, the former subverts the Belfast Agreement and the latter compromises the integrity of the United Kingdom.

However, because the British government was dependent on the DUP to support her minority administration Theresa May said that a trade barrier between the Six Counties and Britain was a non-starter.

Therefore, the British negotiating team introduced the Backstop.

Consequently, the whole of the UK would need to effectively remain within the economic structures of the EU in order to satisfy Arlene that the “Precious Union” would not be compromised at Larne.

That little Ireland can cause a hold up in the Brexit talks should put to bed the “too wee” arguments in Scotland.

This current Border impasse demonstrates that a small EU state like the Republic of Ireland has a voice at Brussels and that it is one that is being heard.

If Brexit is a fascinating parlour game for the chattering classes here on the debatable land in the North West of Ireland it is prosaically real.

The European Union played a key role in bringing the Northern conflict to a close.

Brexit has the capacity to subvert the slow progress we have made in the last two decades.

The recent murder in Creggan of my colleague and friend Lyra McKee shows what is at stake.

None of this registers with the Westminster tribe as they play out a rivalry that has existed since the day that matron favoured one of them over the other at Eton.

That place remains the never failing source of all our political evils.

The people of this island deserve better.

Phil Mac Giolla Bháin is an author, blogger, journalist, novelist and playwright.

He is based in County Donegal, Ireland.

He is an active member of the National Union of Journalists and the chairman of the Irish Writers Union.

An established print journalist for many years Phil has also built up a considerable online readership through his blog www.philmacgiollabhain.ie .

His journalism over the past decade has focussed on highlighting the incidence of anti-Irish racism in Scotland.

He was a staff reporter on An Phoblacht for many years.

His debut novel “The Squad” was published by Books Noir in 2018.

[apenitentialprayer]

Since you are a Christian who also studies Islam, I wanted to ask you, what are some common misconceptions Christians have about Islam, and vice versa?

Things Christians Get Wrong About Islam

1. “Islam was spread by the sword, and most of the initial conversions were coerced.”

So, disclaimer; there probably were coerced ‘conversions’, especially during the conquest of Mecca. Of particular note is a certain Hind bint Utbah, who hated Muhammad’s movement and even mutilated the corpses of fallen Muslim warriors. She converted shortly after the conquest, probably in the hopes of avoiding punishment for the aforementioned mutilations and general extreme hostility towards Islam.

That being said, Islam for the most part wasn’t a result of sword-conversions. Early documents like the Constitution of Medina may even imply that non-Muslims were considered a part of the Ummah (a word which today refers exclusively to the Muslim community). The early Caliphate was heavily reliant on jizya money to fund further campaigns of expansion, and due to the special privileges given to the elite Muslim military class, there may have even been attempts to discourage mass conversion.

In situations where mass conversion did occur, and those did eventually happen, it’s simply unfeasible to imagine that it could happen on a large scale. Here’s the thing about coerced conversions; when the coercive pressure is taken off, people more likely than not return to their old beliefs. Most mass conversions would have affected the elite or the extremely downtrodden; the former would have been interested in ‘elite patronage’, converting to the religion of the new ruling class in the hopes of destroying any glass ceiling that could prevent further upward mobility. The latter would be interested in ‘social liberation’, hoping that conversion to the relatively egalitarian Islam would remove any severe social pressure being put on them by their old religion.

In other parts of the world, such as Bengal, for example, the introduction of new technologies to indigenous peoples by Muslim settlers likely played a role in mass conversion too. These new neighbors seem to have a pretty sweet idea with this whole “agriculture” business; maybe their religious ideas aren’t too off base either, am I right?

2. On the other end, we have “Muslims were far more tolerant than Christians, and were philosophically more sophisticated.”

Muslims were operating under a system of governance that presumed almost from the birth of the movement’s political dimension that it was a dominant force among several other monotheisms. Yes, Muslims tolerated other forms of monotheism. Here’s a secret, though; there was no pre-Enlightenment society that viewed “tolerance” as a virtue. Tolerance of religious minorities was built into Islam’s understanding of its place in the world, and was a result of many sociological and economic factors.

That didn’t stop periods of short but intense persecution from cropping up here and there. There were anti-Judaic riots in Granada in the year 1066 that likely killed as many Jews as Christian crusaders did thirty years later. The Almohads and Almoravids were two North African Muslim movements that moderated over time but started out with the “convert or die” policy that many people try to attribute to Islam as a whole. Among the victims of this persecution was famed Jewish scholar Maimonides (a child at the time) and his family. They may have even converted to Islam to save their lives - but, as I said, once the coercive element died out, they returned to their original faith.

These tolerated minorities lived as dhimmis, a type of second-class subjecthood in which they were allowed to live in Islamicate societies while practicing non-Islamic religions. Dhimmi communities would pay the jizya in order to ensure that they had this right. In fact, during times of increased persecution, some dhimmi communities even petitioned rulers to allow them to pay a larger jizya tax as a form of protection. That being said, there were still legal limitations for dhimmis. They could not create new houses of worship or refurbish old ones. Religious activities had to be done in private. Non-Muslims were not allowed to be appointed to positions of high status. Fortunately, none of these rules were consistently enforced. When they were, though, you got things like the Granada riots.

A word about Jews in Islamic lands; on the whole, they were treated better in Dar al-Islam than they were in European Christendom. Two things you should keep in mind, though; Christianity and Judaism were both rival claimants to the inheritance of Abraham in a way that Islam really wasn’t. That rivalry created bitter resentment. Second, the Jewish minority in Islamic lands were always one minority among many; in medieval Christendom, the Jewish minority was the only consistent religious minority in existence. That means European Jews were under heavier scrutiny than Islamicate Jews were.

As far as being more philosophically inclined, we should keep in mind that Christianity became philosophized almost immediately. Saints Justin Martyr and Augustine of Hippo made sure of that. The rise of Islamic khalam philosophy was the result of Christian scholars translating Aristotelian texts into Arabic.

3. “Islam is basically Arab cultural imperialism.”

Fun fact; veiling of women, which is heavily associated with Islam today, was a Persian-Sasanian cultural element that was adopted by Islam fairly early on. The wives of Muhammad did veil while out in public, but so did Muhammad at times, and other women were still allowed to walk through military camps unveiled. This would change relatively quickly, but this is one piece of evidence that Islam isn’t just the theologically justified imposition of Arab culture onto non-Arabs.

Likewise, Persian remains the language most commonly associated with Islamic mystical thought. Persian is seen by some communities to be especially well-suited for the articulation of such ideas. This is probably because Shi‘a and Sufi forms of Islam both developed in what is now primarily Iran and Iraq.

After the year 1250, the ruling classes of the most expansive Islamic empires were not ethnically Arab, but Turkic. Just so we’re clear, these Turks were not from what we now call Turkey, but Central Asia. They brought all sorts of cultural innovations with them.

In the Indian subcontinent, the Mughals created a ‘Hindustani’ culture that combined elements of Turkish Islam with philosophical, cultural, and architectural elements of native Indian cultures. The Mughal emperor, a Muslim king, was modeled after the example of Rama from the Indian Epic tradition. Many rituals that they performed were modeled after those expected to be performed by ideal Hindu kings. South Asian Islam has a range of cultural idioms and pilgrimage sites unique to itself, largely a result of the Sufi pioneers who settled the continent before and during the rise of the early Indo-Muslim sultanates.

Things Muslims Get Wrong About Christianity

1. “Christians corrupted the true Gospel, which was a book like the Qur’an and the literal word of God”

The Qur’an described what is called the Injil, a word probably derived from evangelion, which most Muslims interpret to refer to a specific book recited by Jesus Christ. Except it seems very, very unlikely, for two reasons. First, there are no extant writings attributed to Jesus, excepting a forged communication between Jesus Christ and King Abgar V of Edessa. Second, not a single early Christian source (besides the aforementioned letter) ever references writings made by Jesus.

The closest thing we have to the Injil as understood by most Muslims today is the Gospel of Thomas, which is a collection of sayings attributed to Jesus, and the hypothetical Q source. Regardless, the New Testament, as we have it, never attempts to present itself as the actual words of Jesus in the way that, say, the Book of Jeremiah claims to be from Jeremiah.

.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want more, I could name more, but I think I’m talking to a primarily Christian audience, and I’m kinda tired, man.