#suicide mention kinda

[jacensolodjo]

“It’s called a war of attrition, sweaty [sic] look it up :))”

War of attrition is literally defined as the wearing down of military personnel and materiel. We agreed decades ago that attacking civilians and medical personnel is a war crime. And who have been hit the most? Civilians/Medical personnel. Seriously, it’s more dangerous being a doctor/nurse/civvie than it is to be a soldier right now. And we agreed a long time ago that isn’t right. 

There is a line separating attrition from war crime. I know the news has been calling the invasion a war of attrition but it really, really isn’t. You can keep trying to bend definitions as much as you like so it says what you want it to that doesn’t mean it’s true. 

The key phrasing in the definition of war of attrition is ‘military’. MILITARY. Read it. Read it again. MIL-I-TAR-Y. It does not say nurse. It does not say doctor. It does not say civilian. It says MILITARY. 

Wikipedia defines war of attrition (actually Attrition Warfare) as: a military strategy consisting of belligerent attempts to win a war by wearing down the enemy to the point of collapse through continuous losses in personnel and materiel.

‘No but see, PERSONNEL’. No, dear. Personnel as in military personnel. You don’t call civilians ‘personnel’ during a war. 

Also if we really wanna be a little shit about it, it’s actually in the other direction. Ukraine is wearing down Russia, stealing its materiel (not material but materiel), destroying planes, trains, and automobiles (almost rather literally). 

Russia is heading towards a point where even if they do win, it’d be a pyhrric victory the likes of which has not been seen in centuries. (Note this is such a remote possibility as to be something I wouldn’t ever bet on because every time they say it’ll be over by ____ it doesn’t happen.) Or, of course, it may end as the Vietnam War (or iraq/afghanistan) did, with no real winner in any way that matters. This is the second to last preference.

The Soviet Union had a fun little combination pyhrric and war of attrition against Germany back in ww2. Because, as you’ll remember, the Soviets lost MILLIONS in the war. Which was in addition to losing millions in the years leading up to it. Though in the latter case when I say lose I mean murdered. In addition to Ukrainians/Cossacks/Jews/Chechens/etc., the Soviet Union murdered dozens (hundreds???) of top military leaders in a number of purges. They could’ve avoided the death toll so many times and chose not to. But, oddly, when I say war of attrition I mean against Germany. It’s what made them turn tail is that they were losing so much on the ‘Eastern Front’(to the point where it became a kind of trope in ww2 movies and such that for a German soldier to be sent to the Eastern Front was considered punishment far exceeding anything else they could do to the German in question). So even if the Soviets had a higher body count, they still managed to chip away so much of Germany they gave up. 

Like. St*lin himself said that people can’t quite grasp the idea of millions dead. (A broken clock is right twice a day.) One is a tragedy, but a million is a statistic. And one you don’t really think much on later. But the Soviet Union hemorrhaged people like nobody’s business. 

Millions that never had to die. And yes, for once I don’t just mean the Ukrainian/Cossack/Jewish/Chechen/etc., casualties pre-war. 

But, history repeats. There have been numerous high ranking Russians that have mysteriously died. (One guy taking a tumble off a skyscraper in such a way that it really doesn’t look like he did it to himself.) And some not so mysteriously (commanding officer gets flattened by tank for giving bad orders). And they aren’t isolated incidents. More than a dozen high ranking officers have had shit happen to them in a timeline that does not give credit to mere bad luck or chance. Does it make sense? No. But Russians have never made much sense to begin with about who they get rid of. Some of these ‘assassinations’ (I only use scare quotes cause it’s not y’know confirmed and shit) may not come from on high. But at this point, they hardly need to. And no, they don’t get points for the tank-frag because of ‘bad orders’. They still wanted to fight the war. He was just doing it badly. 

Anyways thanks for coming to my lecture on wars of attrition. 

[butchratchettruther]

Alex Hirsch is so strong. If I wrote a kid’s show wherein a triangle demon was homoerotically obsessed with this dilf who’d considered said demon his muse before he discovered that the demon was manipulating him and planning to destroy his entire reality, and then wrote the demon flirting with the dilf onscreen and the demon singing the dilf a love song onscreen and then the fandom turned around and shipped the demon with the dilf’s twelve year old nephew I would’ve killed myself.

[appleflavoredkitkats]

who are you, fundy? (a collection of things i wrote + other people wrote that somewhat answer the question)

sad-ist's the fall / honeydowo's banks of newfoundland / love of the fox by me / @kqluckity's tags on this post / my little champion by me / anonymous' inherited / @goldstarsforall's post / @mellohii's post / okarnell's deleted post / readinglass's there is a quiet passing into silent, desolate pain (and no one is allowed to see) / @desthesleepdeprivedwriter's late night shift / neg_nancy's be my home / rabbitsntheclouds' pandora's box / my post / my post

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: sacrifice / self sacrifice / slight suicidal themes / death mention / ]

I personally think that Leo took the wrong lessons from the movie. I definitely think he grew to understand the importance of teamwork and making sure he takes others into account so as to not harm them by proxy of whatever scheme he has cooked up, however based on the ending events I’m not quite certain he fully grasped two things.

The first thing is communication. Oh, he can communicate, and he does, when he deems it necessary. When he’s setting up a plan prior to the action. But this is where the second thing comes in.

The second thing I don’t think Leo truly grasped is “it’s not about you.” It’s so unbearably easy to take that the wrong way, especially when taking the rest of the series into account.

What I believe Leo took from this message is not “it’s not just you, everyone matters and can contribute, can help and be helped” but “put the whole of everyone above yourself” which can both be a good lesson…and a fatal one.

And it is fatal, we see as much in the movie.

Even after the big hope speech, when Leo is “fighting” Krang!Raph, he takes a huge risk. Sure, it worked, and Leo managed to get through to Raph through a well deserved apology, but it could have so easily ended in his death and yet he barely even hesitates to go for it.

And then again, to the big scene at the end, where Leo sacrifices himself not only for the sake of his family, but for the whole world.

To him, that’s the message to take from this. That the lives of everyone, of the greater good, matters…more than him. That the risk to himself is worth it if others can be saved.

Leo learned that gambling with his life as the betting chip is always the best move to make in the end.

And to make matters worse…this thinking is what works.

These risks are ultimately what is needed to save the day, so why would Leo look away from it now? Clearly it’s the right move and everything worked out!

Thing is, Leo did grow from the events of the movie. He learned to take things more seriously and be more mature, he learned to value his team’s input and capabilities enough to rely on them more, and he learned to be less self-centered and realize the turmoil others were going through (especially if that turmoil is a result of his actions.)

But still, he’s grown to accept the gamble of his life as a viable answer to their problems.

Personally, with how Leo has been shown to toy around with the idea of “it’s better me than them” I think this goes beyond sacrifice in the name of love or even sacrifice in the name of responsibility, and pushes over into sacrifice in the name of worth.

[findmeinthefallair]

*eats recycled cardboard* Won't be the last time they both experience suicidal ideation too T_T

[pricklepicklepie]

My BG3 tav and some sweeties

[vickdoom]

stranger danger.

[theeio]

If u have the time could you pls give us ur jim analysis based on this post im very interested in hearing it

headsup for some heavy mental health talk:

so my interpretation of jim, and the reason why i drew him the angsty way i did was because i looked at his character in ToA from like, a mental illness metaphor perspective. i dont think(?) it was ever the showrunner’s intention to do that, but its just a personal way i viewed it bc i saw and felt a lot of his struggles between the lines of the series.

like in episode 6: Win Lose or Draal- where Jim thinks hes going to get killed in battle, writes letters to his loved ones, cooks a last meal for his mom, felt and acted like was the last day he was going to live. Claire interpreting his letter to her that he was talking about having “internal monsters” and “being in some kind of trouble” didnt help much as well AHAH

jim hiding so much from his mom, that one shot in season 1 episode 12 or 13 where he hides the damage on his arms from the goblins behind his back-AHHHHH

and dont get me started on the bathtub scene in A House Divided like idk what the showrunners were thinking doing that but okay i guess😭 that one made me sob on the floor like TWICE

and Jimhunters-god that really felt like your life being altered, and seeing everything in a much darker lens when going through depression. the first time i watched it and when Jim ran to the school rooftop i was legitimately horrified and scared out of my MIND but thank god they didn’t go much beyond that. STILL. thanks for the heart attack 😭😭😭

so back to the tags on that post:

i never liked a hero w a thousand faces because of how chaotic and exaggerated everything was but i guess its because it was different parts of jim split and personified.

but i guess it just messed me up seeing that episode again and having Hunter Jim, the highest functioning one out of them all being the one hunting HIMSELF DOWN, one by one. it really felt like a lot of self loathing going on, and he literally was looking to “kill” other parts of himself, and then the Real Jim as a whole. sorry that was jumbled up and a lot but it was what made me go like

thats kinda the gist of how i saw some moments of Jim’s character back then, and i guess it explains why so much of my art leans towards angst and that hurt comfort, because of all those interpretations i had going on in my head. it was rough a couple years back and this series helped me to reflect and process a lot of what happened and the feelings i had, through Jim. it was a like a safe little sandbox i could toss around in and it genuinely helped so much in healing :”D!! so yeah its more of a personal take, but hope this answers ur question?

ty for sending this ask!! hope you’re well💖💖💖

[sunny12th]

dany was so broken in agot, physically and mentally. she was ready to kill herself to escape drogo. her childhood had been a long unfortunate series of running away from the alleged monsters that killed her family and left her exiled and desperately trying to appease her abusive brother/guardian.

but then, after she's resolved herself to suicide, she has a dream. and then, she starts to notice the beauty in the new world around her. how the dothraki grass sea swallowed her up, the new sights and sounds and smells all around. she found solace in the people, she ate with them, learned their language in a matter of months, enjoyed their food. felt freer in dothraki riding clothes than in the fine silks ilyrio had dressed her up in.

I'm still deeply touched everytime I read about dany giggling, joking around, moving forward, hugging her friends, leading, and fighting after enduring so much. it's not about her being right in everything she does or everything ending well for her. she went through hell, was already going through it before the series even started, and she kept going. she grows and fights and fucks and laughs and cries and rages. she falls and she gets right back up again.

dany is ready to end her own life. the next day, she notices how pretty the sky is. she learns a few more dothraki words everyday and starts to connect more with those around her. she tries some new foods and starts to feel more comfortable on her horse.

the dragon dream certainly did Something to dany - a scarlet and black dragon (drogon, balerion come again) baptizing her in flame. scouring her, tempering her, making her clean. after this, dany makes the quiet choice to live. there is no grand revelation, no "i want to live!" monologue. she simply starts to notice the beauty in the world she's traveling through, the loyalty and easy comradery in her companions, the tasty food and comfortable clothes. dothraki smells, horse smells. riding leather, painted vests, the gently singing bells braided through hair. dany chooses life everytime she giggles, everytime she tries a new food or convinces her friends to try one, everytime she stops to stare at a pretty sight.

she was ready to choose death and she chose life. when her entire world had narrowed to the scope of her pain, to the strength of her abusers, to the golden collar drogo had put around her neck - she still chose life. and just like that, her world expanded and she could see all that was worth living for.

[thicctails]

Mabel's Second Chance

[Trigger Warnings: major character death, suicide(mentioned)]

~~~This is a little ficlet explaining how IGM!Ford and IGM!Mabel met! IGM!Mabel is from a timeline where Dipper never figured out how to use the sock puppet to talk to Mabel, and ended up being trapped in the Mindscape.~~~

Mabel had always believed that she was a good sister.

Sure, she teased Dipper sometimes, poking fun at his crush on Wendy and spraying him with the hose when he didn't shower often enough, but she never took it too far. She loved Dipper more than anything, after all!

But... she hadn't really been showing that lately.

She'd been caught up in a lot of summer romances lately, and Dipper had always been willing to help her out, going out of his way to make her happy, and protecting her if things went bad. Mabel had been sure that, if something had been as important to Dipper as love had been to her, that she would be happy to return the favor.

But then Dipper had asked for her help, had asked Mabel to help him unlock the secrets of the weird laptop they'd found in the Bunker, but instead of keeping her promise, she'd fallen head over heels for a pretty blonde with puppets and once again asked him to help her instead, reassuring him that she'd help him soon. And, ever the good brother, Dipper had agreed, stitching and cutting and gluing and scripting alongside Mabel and the rest of her production crew, fighting through his own exhaustion.

Then, when everything was ready, Mabel had told Dipper that he would finally have her help, and he'd given her a tired, grateful smile. Looking back on it, he'd probably been excited to finally get some sleep while she worked on figuring out the password.

Then Gabe had shown up, had made her panic over the stitches in her puppets, and she'd thrown Dipper aside in favour of her project, leaving him to stomp off in frustration. She'd ignored him, too caught up with her need to impress her crush.

She hadn't seen him again until she'd yelled that she was talking his journal. God, why had she done that? She knew how important it was to Dipper, and it wasn't as if she was lacking in books to choose from! But no, the journal had been there, and she had been in a rush, and she hadn't been thinking about Dipper's feelings, hadn't been thinking about Dipper much at all.

If she had been, perhaps she might have noticed her twin's too-wide smile, might have noticed the soda dripping down his irritated eyes, or the puncture marks on his bruised arm that were beginning to bead with blood.

She'd sat with him in the car, sat with the thing that had stolen her brother's body, and hadn't even noticed something was wrong.

It made her sick to think about now.

He'd spoken to her at the show, holding himself strangely but offering, quite sweetly, to help with the play, not looking mad in the slightest that she'd broken her promise and taken his journal.

She should have known something was wrong. Dipper hated performing in front of people. How had she not seen it?

Everything had gone perfectly. The lights, music, and live pyrotechnics had gone off without a cinch, and Gabe had asked her out officially at the end of the performance. She'd been so giddy that she hadn't even noticed Dipper's absence until Grunkle Stan had asked her where he'd run off too.

She hadn't realized something was wrong until they'd gone outside to look for him, and the smell of something burning had reached her nose.

It was hard to tell what it was at first, what with the amount of damage, but the blackened eyeglass and the curling six-fingered gold hand with the number 3 made it unmistakable. Dipper's journal, his most valued item, was smoldering on the ground next to a discarded lighter.

A cold, nauseous feeling had started to form in Mabel's stomach at the sight. She'd looked up at her Grunkle Stan, and had seen his face was twisted in shock and worry. He'd looked at her and asked her, in a strained, shaky voice, if she was sure she hadn't seen where her brother had gone.

They didn't find out where Dipper was until the next morning, when they got a knock at the door from an uncharacteristically somber Sheriff Blubs and a teary eyed Deputy Durland. Mabel had been sent up to her room, but she'd quietly snuck back down to listen in, desperate to know what was happening with Dipper.

After she heard the word "suicide," she'd stopped listening, unable to hear anything past the ringing that had filled her ears.

Mabel ran her thumb gently against the redone stitches of the sock puppet likeness of her brother as she hugged it close, burying her face in its tiny cloth hat, ignoring the way it's googly eyes dug slightly into her cheeks.

It smelled like him now, something that wasn't surprising, what with how much she'd brought it with her to lay down in Dipper's bed. It was hardly a nice smell; her brother really had needed to shower more, but it was familiar, and that was all that mattered to Mabel now.

Mabel's eyes fluttered open as she heard the door to the attic creak open. Beside her, Waddles nosed at the edge of the blanket she'd pulled over the two of them, and a sliver of orange-pink light pierced the comforting darkness of Blanket Town. He grunted a few times in greeting, but didn't pull away from his owner.

She heard soft footsteps getting closer and closer, until they stopped almost right beside her, and a familiar face came into view.

"Hi Soos." Mabel mumbled, her face still pressed into the fabric of the puppet. Soos smiled at her, but it was a sad smile, one that did nothing to distract from the wet shine in his eyes, or the unmistakable shudder in his next intake of breath.

"Hey hambone. How are you feeling?"

Mabel sniffed and ducked her head into Waddles' back, fresh tears beginning to pool in her eyes. She tried to answer, but nothing came out. Soos let out a quiet sigh.

"Yeah, I thought that might be the case." he gently patted her head through the blanket, "I think I know a way to make you feel better, if you're up for it, dude?"

Mabel glanced back up at the handyman, doubtful. What could possibly make her feel better.

"What is it?" she warbled hoarsely.

"It's kinda hard to explain, but if you come with me, I promise it'll be worth it." Soos replied, holding out his hand. Mabel hesitated, trying to decide if she even had enough energy to get up, but slowly she took Soos hand, letting him guide her to her feet, her Dipper sock puppet still held firmly in her grasp. Waddles dutifully followed her, pressing close to her legs.

Now that she was up and standing in the illuminated room, she noticed that Soos looked... different. He was missing his hat, and there was a healing gash on his cheek. He had a long, black bandana tied around his neck, as well as Dipper's dino tooth. Confused, Mabel looked back at place where her brother had hung it before, and... found it resting there, untouched. She whipped her head back and stared at Soos, who followed her gaze and then met her stare.

"Look, I know this is weird. Trust me, its weird for me too, dude. But I can explain everything in a bit." Soos said, holding his hands up in surrender. Mabel squinted her eyes in distrust.

"How do I know you're really Soos?" she asked.

"Oh, are you worried that I'm a shapeshifter? Uhh, oh, here!" Soos picked up his dinosaur tooth and pricked his finger on its sharp tip, a drop of bright red blood welling up, "See? 100% human dawg."

He wiped the blood on his bandana, giving Mabel another, less saddened smile. "I'm totally Soos, just... not your Soos."

"Wha?" Mabel's eyes widened, but she still followed the handyman when he started heading for the exit, "What do you mean you're not my Soos?"

"Doctor Pines can explain it better than I can. Just follow me and, uh, try not to wake up Stan. He... really looks like he needs the rest, dude."

Doctor Pines?

Still confused but also curious, Mabel crept down the stairs with the other Soos, careful not to step on any particularly squeaky floorboards as they made their way towards the door. Other Soos hadn't been wrong; Grunkle Stan looked worse than Mabel felt. He looked far older than he was, and his face was pinched with discomfort even in sleep. He was slumped over in his recliner, surrounded by crumpled up papers with scrawled writing on them and an empty bottle of alcohol. It looked dusty, like it hadn't been touched in a while.

Mabel scooped up one of the papers as they snuck past, glancing at it. It looked like he was trying to figure out what to tell their parents. She grimaced and dropped the paper like it had burned her. No wonder there were so many. How could anyone find the words to tell someone that their son had killed himself?

Except, Dipper hadn't killed himself. It hadn't been Dipper that had thrown himself off the water tower,

it had been Bill.

Bill had been the one in her brother's body. He had done something and tricked Dipper when he was tired and vulnerable because she hadn't kept her promise.

Mabel gripped the sock puppet tighter and hurried out the door.

Cicadas and crickets sang out into the evening light as she and Other Soos stepped out onto the porch, chirping and screeching as if nothing was out of place in the world. A light breeze blew some of Mabel's hair into her eyes, the strands sticking to her tear-dampened cheeks. She reached a hand up and brushed it away, and when she opened her eyes again, she noticed a man standing by the treeline.

He was tall, about as tall as Grunkle Stan, and was dressed in a long black trench coat and a red turtleneck. He had one bright blue eye and one that was milky white and scarred, as well as a pair of thick, cracked glasses. The stranger was old, with a grey stubble and slightly darker hair that had a silver stripe running through it. The most startling thing about him, however, was the fact that his face looked almost identical to Grunkle Stan's.

"Soos, who is that?" she asked, looking up at him.

"That's Doctor Pines dawg. Mr Pines' twin brother." Other Soos replied.

Mabel's jaw dropped open. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers, and she stepped back slightly in shock.

"What?!" she yelled in as hushed a tone as she could manage, "Grunkle Stan has a twin?"

Other Soos scratched at the back of his neck, "It's a long story, but I'm sure he'll catch you up dude. He might look a little scary, and he's not the best people person, but... he really cares about his family. He's the whole reason we were able to come here."

Mabel looked back at the man, her other Grunkle, apparently, and their eyes met. He lit up when he saw her, his eyes crinkling the same way Grunkle Stan's did. He pushed off from the tree he was leaning against and walked over to the porch, kneeling down before Mabel as he extended a hand to her.

"Hello Mabel. I'm your Great Uncle Stanford. It's... it's a pleasure to get to meet you again." he said, speaking in a soft, gentle voice.

Mabel reached out and grabbed his hand on instinct, but froze up when she processed what exactly it was he'd said. "Wait, what do you mean you're my Grunkle Stanford. Grunkle Stan is inside!"

The man blinked owlishly, as if he'd just remembered something, "Ah, right. You don't know about Stanley taking my identity yet. Sweetheart, I am Stanford Pines. My brother took my name when I went missing 30 years ago so I didn't lose my house. His name is actually Stanley Pines."

Mabel's mind was quietly exploding in a fiery ball of glitter and question marks. How was this possible? Suddenly, she felt something move in her grasp, and she realized that she was still holding her Grunkle's hand. Looking down, she noticed something was off.

"You have six fingers!" she gasped, delighted, "that's a whole finger friendlier than normal!"

Wait...

"Did you write the journals?!" she screeched, forgoing any concept of personal space as she rushed right up to him. Her Grunkle gave her a proud grin and produced that oh so familiar book from a pocket inside his coat, looking just as old and millipede-bitten as it had before.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" she squealed, "I have to tell Dipper, he's gonna fre-!"

Mabel's mouth slammed shut with a click, the memory of the past few days rushing back as her excitement fled. She couldn't tell Dipper anything anymore. Her eyes became shiny with tears as she looked down at the ground, pulling her sock puppet sibling into a tight hug.

"Oh sweetheart, come here." Grunkle Ford said, opening his arms as Mabel began to cry. She threw herself into his chest, sobbing when he wrapped his arms around her in a warm, secure hug.

"It- It's all my fault!" she sobbed, pressing her face into the fabric of his sweater. It smelled of thunderstorms and coffee, and it was almost like she was back in Sweater Town, "I- I ignored Dipper and I broke my promise and- and I didn't notice anything was wr- wrong with him! A demon was possessing my twin and I didn't even notice! I was too- too busy obsessing over a STUPID BOY! My brother is dead because I was SELFISH!"

"Shhh, shhh, my dear, it is not your fault. Bill has had trillions of years to perfect his craft of tricking people. You couldn't have been expected to win against him." Grunkle Ford soothed, gently rubbing her back as she wailed and hiccuped, "I'm here now, and I'm going to make everything all okay."

"H- how?" Mabel sniffed, swiping her sleeve across her face as new tears ran down her cheeks. Grunkle Ford tapped the space on his coat that was above his heart, and Mabel saw two familiar symbols stitched onto the fabric. It was the pinetree from Dipper's hat, and the Shooting Star from one of her favourite sweaters.

"You see Mabel, I'm not from this dimension. Neither is Soos here." he said, gesturing to the handyman, "In my dimension, there was an... accident, and I lost my Dipper and Mabel, and I was very close to losing my brother. I wasn't able to live without you and your brother, so I decided to journey out into the Multiverse and find a version of you two that needed help, and offer to bring them back with me."

The scarred man lay a hand on Mabel's shoulder, "Mabel, the choice to come with us is yours; I certainly won't force you, but I adore you and your brother, and I would certainly love for you to come be a part of my family. If you do, then we can go and rescue a Dipper that really needs a sister that will make him feel loved right now. You'll be together again, and I'll make sure you never have to worry about losing him."

"I-" Mabel struggled to draw in another breath, so overwhelmed by what she was hearing, "I can see Dipper again?"

Grunkle Ford nodded. "Yes, Mabel, you can. Everything will be okay again, if you come with us."

She wanted to say yes, God she wanted to say yes more than anything in the world, but something stopped her from agreeing right away.

"What about Grunkle Stan? He'll be all alone..."

"Oh, don't worry about him. I'll come back and bring him a Dipper and Mabel that need a Stan, and I'll make sure he's all better before I leave, okay?"

Mabel smiled at the reassurance and nodded, "Okay Grunkle Ford, I- I want to go with you, then."

Grunkle Ford gave the girl a huge grin and scooped her up into a loving embrace. Mabel giggled wetly as his stubble scratched at her face, and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck.

"Waddles can come too, right?" she asked.

Grunkle Ford looked down at her pig, who oinked at him in return. "Hmm. Well, my dimension already has a Waddles but... yes, I suppose he can come. We'll just have to quarantine him for a bit and get him adjusted to our reality so he doesn't collapse our entire dimension if he touches his counterpart."

"Two Waddles?! Oooo I'm gonna knit them matching outfits!" Mabel squeaked, "Thank you, Grunkle Ford!"

"Of course, princess. Anything to make you happy." he said, reaching into his pocket to withdraw his portal device, "Now, let's go find your brother."

Mabel nodded. This was her second chance. She'd prove that she could be a good sister. She'd prove to Dipper that she loved him.

And this time, she'd keep him safe.

[zagreuslives]

“Take the blade, Ms. Pollard. Go on. You two have played out this farce before, I believe.”

“Kill me.” // “It’s me. I’m the bravest person here” // “Kill me…” // “Goodbye, Doctor.” // “Go-goodbye, Charley….Thank you…”

One of my favorite scenes in all of Doctor Who. Have some more Big Finish fanart courtesy of my fever that won’t break

(Though for the record: I do NOT recommend listening to Zagreus with a high fever. It starts to actually make sense)

[akuma-tenshi]

part 3 of my coa posting but it's all one coherent meme

i'm sorry abt the first one i had no idea where else to put ada

[yells-of-the-not-so-danged]

So, I just read through the whole of Agent of Asgard; I had only read the beginning and end bits of AoA before (for some reason I could never find the second volume), and so I never realized just what an awful time of it Loki was going through like HOLY SHIT. Verity really well and truly kept Loki from killing themself (for good this time) during the final chapter, huh. Like, if not for her sparking the memory of Odin's words, Loki was going to, without a doubt, go for the Kid Loki option.

Also, Verity and Loki need to go to friend couple's counseling, BAD. We need more time with the two of them, so Loki can show that they ARE becoming a better friend to Verity. That girl puts up with so much shit 💖 (but like for real they p codependent)

(I still absolutely adore the series btw, my brain? changed forever. )

[turquoisephoenix]

You mentioned that you think after Grubba gets out of jail he has an uneasy friendship with Prince Mush. Do you think you could elaborate on that some? Like what do their interactions look like? Just curious as to how you think a murderer and a revived victim of his would act as friends

Okay, this one might be a little long, takes a bit of setting up, and involves some headcanons.

And I will emphasize that the relationship is "uneasy" and they're not exactly inviting each other to watch movies or anything. Grubba should be thankful that Prince Mush even wants to speak to him and give him occasional updates on how the Glitz Pit is running, at his request, while he's sitting in jail and later under house arrest (albeit a cozy house arrest at his tacky rodeo clown of a home, but he has to do it all with an ankle monitor).

Prince Mush is just something of a saint, very mellow, and extremely forgiving. He's just a bit of a wide-eyed shonen protagonist fueled by the power of friendship.

To explain why Prince Mush is so understanding where Grubba was coming from with his most terrible actions, both Prince Mush and Grubba have similar backstories - they were originally from poor backgrounds but then climbed their way to the top to become champion fighters.

This leads me to believe that Prince Mush grew up as a fan of Grubba. Especially since I made Grubba the type of fighter that had a LOT of merchandising and star appeal thanks to some rather aggressive contracts by his fight promoter/agent, who swooped in and saw a business opportunity. Prince Mush had secondhand toys of Grubba that they found in the local Rogueport goodwill because the store shelves were just flooded with them. Prince Mush bought some of his T-shirts and had a few of his toys.

And Prince Mush and Grubba got along for a good several years! Prince Mush had a very cushy Champion's life and his family got to see all of his matches and he was very comfortable! Grubba made sure to NOT treat Prince Mush the way he was treated in the past. Prince Mush had health benefits and vacation plans. Everything was good! Grubba was a good maybe-a-father-figure, maybe-just-an-older-friend type of cool old dude.

Until, one night, Prince Mush alerted Grubba to a strange machine that he found underneath the Glitz Pit Arena while he was training late one night. After Grubba asked him if he told anyone else (Prince Mush thankfully said no, so no killing spree for Grub), Prince Mush lead him to the strange machine and asked him "who could do such a thing?"

Grubba responded by hitting him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. They didn't even have an epic battle between champion and monster; instead Grubba panicked, acted like a cornered rat, and then immediately had to cover up the resulting disappearance.

Cut to a few more years later where Prince Mush is suddenly waking up in the Glitz Pit Arena and his own sister is telling him how he straight up died and his blood was on Grubba's hands, all while a little Italian plumber is waving at him and going "wahoo".

So in short, Prince Mush doesn't remember his own death and has to get all of his information secondhand from other people who were way way more traumatized about the events.

And Mush, being Mush...can't bring himself to hate Grubba.

At least, not totally.

Jolene hates Grubba with every fiber of her being and is very much a "if I see you outside of prison, it's on sight, mfer" type of person. Rawk Hawk has really mixed feelings about Grubba and oscillates between rage-filled hatred and survivor's guilt where he second-guesses all the nice things Grubba ever did for him, knowing that he could've been drained and shoved in a dirty old attic. He even visited Grubba in jail and had a shouting match with him as both of them had to unpack a lot of mental baggage. Rawk Hawk's change of heart is fueled by the fact that Rawk Hawk has grown self-conscious and scared of becoming as lost as his mentor.

Prince Mush? When he pieces the story together - the young star exploited at a young age so afraid of aging, so afraid of giving up his own business, that he'll use a magic demon artifact to render himself immortal at the cost of his own humanity and becomes a paranoid monster that can't get close to anyone without hurting or killing them...

He just finds Grubba sad.

And when he tells Grubba to his face while he's sitting in the prison cell, Grubba wishes he got the anger instead.

Having his whole empire crumble and having to live with the consequences of his actions just renders him a pathetic, broken man. He needed wellness checks during his first week of prison just to make sure he didn't do anything drastic. (being away from the Crystal Star that made him young and strong for the first time in 40 years and realizing that he was gonna wither and turn into an old man made him just a touch suicidal for a little while)

On top of all of this, once it becomes more common knowledge that the Crystal Stars were connected to the Shadow Queen, Grubba isn't even sure how much of his actions were his own or if he was Corrupted By the Amulet. Everyone - including him - believes he was mostly in control, but it sure doesn't feel good either way having to second-guess just how much of the past few decades were of your own free will and how much of it was demonic influence and you were just Golluming your way into murder because the shiny rock needed more blood for the blood god.

TTYD is very much a game that ends on the idea of forgiveness for the villains. I'm not going to have Prince Mush stay with Grubba ala Vivian hanging out with her shitty sister Beldam, but Prince Mush seems like a cool enough dude to at least extend a hand and say "yeah you killed me, but now you're in a position where you can't harm anyone else ever again and since you're a paranoid and have like 60 mental illnesses, I'm not going to kick you while you're down and instead tell you that the Glitz Pit isn't on fire and that my sister Jolene is doing a GREAT job".

And eventually Grubba...feels more at peace with himself than he's been in over 40 years.

TL;DR, Prince Mush forges a shaky relationship with his own murderer because his murderer's mental health was impacted by both demonic magic and the exploitation of Hollywood stardom but things are actually kinda looking up? Prince Mush actually wants Grubba to get better, Jolene wants Grubba to choke and perish, and Rawk Hawk is unsure whether he sides with Mush or Jolene.

[the-crimson]

I was just listening to some sad music while thinking about q!bbh and… the eggs changed him. They saved him in a sense. All of them.

When Bad first arrived at the island he was aimless and much like Foolish, looking for the next subject of entertainment. He was only out for himself and couldn’t be bothered to lend a helping hand to anyone.

Then he was given a little egg with a top hat and everything changed. He had someone vulnerable to look out for, to provide for, and suddenly he was given purpose. All of these little eggs were precious beyond words and everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Charlie tried to murder Dapper right in front of Bad. That was the first time Bad felt fear in a long long time then a deep sadness settled in when he learned Juanaflippa had died and that’s what sent Slime on his rampage and everything suddenly felt so much more real. The illusion of perfection broke and Bad realized, truly realized, just what Dapper meant to him.

Juanaflippa was brought back but then a hat trick of tragedy strikes and Bad is forever changed. Bad has a chance to walk Tilin home but she chooses to go with Slime who accidentally kills her. Juanaflippa chooses to stay with Mariana and he accidentally kills her - again. And Trump dies of neglect alone in an empty house. (Cc!Bad mentioned on stream a while back that the admins had asked him if he could do Trump’s tasks but Bad didn’t realize how dire the situation was- he blames himself)

Within the span of 24 hours, three eggs died and Bad could have saved each of them. This is when everything changes for Bad’s character. This is where Bad vows that no egg was ever going to die of neglect again. This is when Bad started grinding to become the richest person on the server and ensured that all the eggs had maxed out armor at all times. These eggs dying the way they did is what created the Badboyhalo we knew.

Bad created the warp plate system in the sky so he’d be able to reach just about anywhere near spawn to save an egg if they went down. He is the one who discovered the true utility of warp stones and spread that information across the server. He is the one who informed everyone of the autoeat and XP pump functions of the backpack and set up all the eggs with infinite XP so their armor would never break.

He was so incredibly damaged by these eggs dying that he turned all his hyper vigilance towards protecting the remaining eggs even if he barely knew the parents or the eggs themselves. He would never say no to someone asking for help ever again.

Bad went from selfish and out for himself to the most selfless person on the server. He was a demon seeking entertainment in the wake of eternity and transformed into a servant of the people who gave his life again and again for others without question.

Getting Dapper primed Bad for change. Dapper was the crack in the stone that allowed the walls within him to shatter when Juanaflippa, Tilin, and Trump died. Ever since that tragic day, all of the eggs became part of Bad’s family.… and now they are gone.

Dapper and their siblings brought out the best of Bad. They saved him from a cycle of chaotic indifference. And now he’s alone again. Everything he’s done to protect them has been for nothing. Everything he’s changed, the steps he took towards healing millennia old traumas… all of that was for not.

Some wounds cut too deep to heal. Even with all the progress Bad made, he still valued his entire self worth on how useful he was to others, on protecting the eggs. Every time something happened to the kids, he took it as a personal failure. When Bobby died, he blamed himself for not going with them on the adventure. Now they are gone gone. They fled. They are somewhere Bad can’t follow. He failed them. He had one job and he failed.

It doesn’t matter what happens to him now. Getting them back is all that matters. Bad’s world has lost all vibrancy and he’s physically fading away. He doesn’t notice because he can’t let himself. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting them back. But even if he does… it’s already too late. He failed. He couldn’t protect them. He failed.

When the eggs come back changed (hatched?) all he will see is his failure. If he lives long enough to see his babies return, will they give him the strength to come back from this? Or will their presence give him the reassurance that… it’s okay. He doesn’t need to fight anymore. They are safe now. He can let go. One last goodbye.

Fuck man. I’ve been here since the beginning. Since the second day Bad had Dapper. I’ve watched almost every single stream since. I’ve watched Bad change in real time. I’ve watched Dapper and the other eggs change him. I stayed up until 3 am watching Bad bargain with god to save his son from an unfair death. I’ve watched Bad chase desperately across the map only to arrive moments too late to find Ramon’s corpse. I’ve watched him sit silently weeping while waiting for Jaiden and Roier to say their last goodbyes. I still remember his screams for Dapper when they were killed by pillagers. I remember them stranded in the snow tens of thousands of blocks from safety with no items no food Dapper couldn’t even speak. Terrified that it could end then and there.

The fact that this whole journey has lead us here. Bad is literally dying because he failed them. He failed them in a hundred different ways but this was the big one. This failure broke him. If Bad does end up dying dying at the end of this arc… that would both be the most narratively satisfying yet heart breaking thing that could possibly happen. The eggs saved him in a million different ways. It makes sense that they would also be the death of him.

Bad’s a demon and a grim reaper so I doubt he’d stay dead but I could see Dapper and friends going on a quest to bring him back from where ever demons/grim reapers go when they die. Maybe he’ll finally get some closure from the tragedies he’s left in his wake all throughout history. Maybe he’ll get a chance to truly start over with a clean slate.

Fuck now I’m thinking about Dapper having ti live through their dad sacrificing himself for them and their siblings. We know Dapper was borderline suicidal before being taken so just… Dapper seeing themself in Bad too late and not being able to save him. Killing himself for the greater good. Dapper refusing to accept that Bad is gone and spending every waking minute researching how to bring him back by any means necessary but knowing Bad would want them to move on, to live, to live, to live.

I have no idea where Bad’s character is going. I have no idea if he’s gonna go full villain and burn the server to destroy the federation. I have no idea if he’s gonna sacrifice himself and die trying to get the eggs back. I have no idea if his grief is literally killing him and he’s acting so desperate with the knowledge that he’s on borrowed time. All I know is cc!Bad is gonna take us on one hell of a ride and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[dragonofeternal]

Hot take/unpopular opinion time?

While I understand the urge to give Legato something nice by having him be rescued by Vash instead of Knives and think there's some very cute art and thoughts out there...

That would not fix him and it would not make him happy.

Knives's "salvation" for Legato wasn't just an end to Legato's present suffering, it was the fact that he completed the work Legato could not, even left a sliver of life enough for Legato to take some vengeance of his own. He would NOT be content or happy just to be taken away from his suffering in a nonviolent way. Vash would saunter in, shoot to disable the people actively raping Legato, and whisk Legato away, forcing him to watch those bastards as they pick themselves up to keep living their lives. Their survival would needle at the back of his brain, bristle any time he saw something that reminded him of that time in his life.

And for all that I love Vash the Stampede, I don't think he could give Legato the kind of help he needed to survive and thrive again. Vash is kind of like a wildlife rehabilitator- he takes people out of crisis situations, helps the to soothe the hurt, but he doesn't try to get attached and he tends to quietly slip out once he feels like they've reached a space where they're stable and the danger is gone.

Vash doesn't give people answers, he asks people to look within and find them for themselves.

Except Legato had reached a point where he felt he *had* nothing left within. We see his eyes go dull, watch all hope leave them. And when he and Vash fight at the end of TriMax, we see Legato recognize that dull flatness in Vash's eyes too.

Vash cannot give Legato something he doesn't have.

Knives, on the other hand is FULL of GLORIOUS PURPOSE. Is it good purpose? Is it smart purpose? Is he doing anything other than flailing around like a muppet made of sharp objects and fear and anger most days? No! But it's a purpose and it MATTERS.

And it's a purpose he can share with Legato, who needs something to believe in, something to fill himself with again because he feels so fucking empty. With Knives, there's a ready answer for the yawning emptiness in Legato's soul.

I'm not sitting here going "becoming the number one Kool-aide drinker in the Cult of Knives was a good life choice for Legato Bluesummers" or anything like that, but I WILL say it's a choice that gave him the ability to keep going. It's a choice that makes him Legato Bluesummers and not someone else.

Because my other concern with Vash's attempts to impress morality on Legato is what I said at the very top: Legato is never going to forget or forgive the people who wronged him. He's not going to let go of wanting to kill and destroy and hurt. There is a trolley problem of one thousand three hundred and one lives versus Legato's singular personhood, and if he is monstrous to want vengeance, if he cannot be allowed to take vengeance, then the only answer is to flip the track from his persecutors to himself. It's a rather simple solution, when you don't feel like there's a reason to be alive.

(all manga caps are taken from @trigun-manga-overhaul)