#sums up my life

[filiseverus]

My favorite picture of myself is two year old me happily eating a bowl of cheerios on 9/11 while the second plane hits on the tv in the background.

[soup-child]

I'm aroace because kids made fun of each other for having crushes in elementary school and I went I'm not making that mistake

[bernard-the-rabbit]

"i haven't done this since i was a kid!"

"you still are a kid!"

[ID found by clicking alt on the piece]

[asciuto]

on the way home, I wrote a poem, you say "what a mind", this happens all the time

[catocappuccino]

Snufkin and Snorkmaiden hanging out :]

[yesornopolls]

Have you ever gaslit yourself into thinking you were attracted to someone when you very much were not at all attracted to them?

[thelightintheattic]

SHIRT MY FRIEND GOT ME

[hell0jon]

Guys I can assure you British people are real.

I had an encounter with one once, and I can tell you it did not end well

They are in our homes, among our children and families

Be careful, for the true horror does not lie in the darkness of night, but within the shadows of our kin.

[thefallennightmare]

I got distracted from writing by watching my old Bad Omens concert videos I took when I saw them. I’ll never get over how close I was to Noah.

[bogkeep]

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

[cloudbends]

HAVE A NICE DAY

YOU TOO

[exactlaptime]

grass isn't greener on the other side it's literally BURNING

[keymintt]

bisexual, but not rly in an "i'm attracted to xyz" way so much as a "whatever the fuck happens, happens" way

[greeenchrysanthemums]

Thus Always to Tyrants

Chapter 5: Cordially Invited.

Gem is the commander of the Wintertide royal army, Grian is the leader of a resistance hell bent on taking the crown down no matter the cost. It was only natural that they would become enemies.

Beginning -> previous -> next (tba)

Read on ao3 ❀ here ❀

CW: slight self harm? please let me know if this needs more warnings

Words: 3,834

Pov: Gem

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Gem was situated at her desk within her personal study, her back facing toward the broad window as it let the warm rays of autumn sun in to warm her against the light chill that was permeating through the Wintertidian air as fall began its transition into colder weather. Scott stood off to the side of the room behind her, his back against the sill of the window, which he gazed out of with his arms crossed and his chin tilted skyward.

She sighed as she hung her head over the stack of reports that had been deposited onto her desk that morning, bright and early. 

She ran a hand through her messy, red curls, which hung free from her usual updo. Her bitten nails scraped along her scalp and her fingers caught on a few knots as they made their way through the thick hair, but she relished in the pain of them both, so it did not bother her in the slightest. It helped her to clear her head, even if just a little bit. She dropped her elbow onto the table and then her cheek into her palm, pursing her lips as strands of hair fell into her face, her eyes trained on the newest report.

They were all much the same as they had been the past few weeks since the whole ordeal with Grian and the break-in had occurred; nothing suspicious was seen and there was nothing of note to report. It had been yet another calm and quiet day like the others before them.

The only thing of any interest that had been discovered was a faint trace of a red, powdery substance dusting the outer walls of the castle, but even weeks later, no one was able to tell her what exactly it was. She had Bdubs clean what he could of the substance off of the walls just to be safe, but she wasn’t actually sure at this point whether it was something that she even had to be worried about.

There had not even been any sign of Grian outside of one potential sighting of the avian in the downtown industrial district over a week ago, and she had not even been able to confirm this was indeed him. All the witness had been able to tell her was that the person was wearing a red cloak and was of short stature. Not conclusive evidence when many people could match such a broad and simple description.

This lack of sightings in itself was cause for concern to her. Not that this was the first time he had dropped off of the face of the world, it was actually a common occurrence for the rebel to do just that. It was the absence mixed with the lingering threat that he left her with that did not bode well to her. Who knew what he was planning in the shadows and what kind of dangers he would bring on his tail when he returned. 

Her musings were cut short by a quick knock to her study door, followed by it being pushed open only a moment later without the person on the other end so much as waiting for a response or permission to enter. Gem’s eyes narrowed as the Royal Advisor, Martyn, let himself into the modestly sized room, his posture straight and stiff, the perfect picture of the politeness that he so lacked.

“Chancellor Martyn,” She greeted, standing from her desk to give him a polite bow despite his sudden, and frankly rude, intrusion.

“Commander,” He said, returning her bow with shorter and more stilted movements before informing her of his reason for being there. “His Majesty is requesting your presence in the royal study. He says the matter is of the utmost importance”

That caught her attention and she straightened her posture into something more reminiscent of his own as Scott pushed off of the wall and moved to stand at her side, ready to go. 

“Please, lead the way.” She told Martyn, gesturing towards the door with a nod of her head, and so he did.

As he led them down the stone halls of the castle, a million thoughts raced through her mind. Had the resistance finally made their move? Was the king in danger? No, surely Martyn would have been more frantic had that been the case; he certainly would not have wasted the time knocking in the first place or being formal with his request from the king. A lesser urgent matter than, something that still needed her immediate attention but did not put his or any of their citizen’s lives at risk at that very moment.

Maybe Ren had become privy to some important and confidential information about the resistance and their plans, as well as their whereabouts? That thinking was far too wistful, she discarded the thought immediately. Again, if that were the case, Martyn would likely have been much less laidback in his mission to retrieve her from her study.

She did not even want to entertain the idea that his urgent request for her presence had something to do with Coral Crest. Gods above know that the last thing they need is to go to war again while their kingdom was already in danger from the inside.

Her study was just down the hall from the king's, a deliberate placement decision that was made during the height of the war - long before she came into the position of royal commander - to make the flow of information between the king and his commander move at a quicker place than it would if she were positioned anywhere else in the castle. 

Her personal quarters were similarly close to that of the king’s, and they were connected by a hidden passage few knew of that also ran through the entirety of the castle, acting as both a quick way for her to get to him in the event of a crisis, or as an escape route. 

Because of her close proximity to the king, they made it to his study in no time. Her hand subconsciously made its way to the hilt of her sword as Martyn knocked on the door. Unlike when he knocked on her door, he waited until Ren’s voice called out letting them know it was okay to enter.

Once Gem was able to look inside, following behind Martyn as he took the lead forward, she found the king sitting nonchalantly at his desk. He didn’t look the slightest bit worried. In fact, he looked rather relaxed, maybe even a little bit too relaxed for apparently urgent matters.

“Sire,” She said, coming to a stop in front of his desk and bowing deeply, a hand over her heart. She straightened up to her original position and questioned him. “You said it was urgent?”

“Yes, I need you to look over these plans immediately and advise me on how best to set up security.” Ren said, casually sliding a stack of papers towards her across the desk.

She reached for the papers, lifting them from the desk and reading them carefully…and then she read them again. And again. And again. No matter how many times her eyes scanned over the worlds on the parchment, she could not fathom their existence. These were- What in the world?! 

She flipped through the rest of the thin stack, hoping she was somehow mistaken. This had to be some kind of elaborate joke that he was pulling on her and the punchline was at the end of the papers, because that was the only way she could rationalize these ridiculous plans. That didn't make sense either, though. He was meant to be a king, not a court jester. What business would he have making practical jokes?

No, these papers were exactly what they appeared to be.

“Your majesty,” She said carefully, looking up to meet his expectant gaze. He was watching her, his hands folded in front of his face and his eyes squinted.

“Go on, Commander.” He replied, motioning for her to continue.

“Sire, these are plans for a party.” She said, trying not to let the dismay show too heavily in her voice. The confusion, however, she laid on in excess.

“Yes, that is indeed what they are.” He said, raising an eyebrow before tacking on. “A Winter Ball, to be more precise.”

She blinked at him, her eyes darting back and forth between him and the papers she had been handed.

“Forgive my forwardness, but surely you can see how this is a poor idea?” She questioned him.

“I don’t think I do,” He said, and then carried on before she could interject to this nonsense. “The people love celebrations. The Festival of Good Tides always raises the peoples’ spirits! I’ve noticed that the mood in the kingdom has been pretty down lately with the increase in security and the impending winter. Everyone is just as on edge as you have been these past weeks; which is to say very. A winter ball is a perfect idea to remedy that as far as I see it! “

He was excited and talking animatedly, his face bright and cheerful. “And do not worry about the funds. I’ve already budgeted everything out, it won’t hurt the economy for us to have a little bit more fun at the end of the year!”

“You cannot be serious,” Gem blurts out before she can bring herself to say something a little more polite. The King’s smile fell at her words and he narrowed his eyes.

“You’ll find that I am.” He said carefully. “However, I value your opinion as my Royal Commander. That is why I called you here to discuss how we may do this safely. I will be willing to hear you out.”

She took a deep breath and flipped slowly through the papers one more time. The words, written in Ren’s neat, scrawling handwriting, detailed plans for a grand, extravagant Winter Ball, one that was to be held within the walls of the castle itself. It was to be an open doors event, meaning all citizens within the capital were permitted to come and go as they pleased.

The entire thing was a security breach just waiting to happen. They may as well just invite Grian and his people right in, offer them refreshments along with the crown while they are at it.

“Sire, we’ve already had one security breach since Grian’s vague warning at the festival. Opening the castle doors to the public would just be asking for another, possibly a far more serious and dangerous, breach.” She explained.

“You have still yet to find any resistance activity since the festival, correct?” Ren asked, tilting his head to the side. “It is impossible for us to know whether or not he truly has something in store for us, or if he was taking the piss out of you to get this exact kind of reaction, lowering kingdom moral and giving him an opportunity to try something.”

“That is a possibility, your highness, but that possibility isn’t something we should take so lightly. We mustn't leave ourselves open to attack on the off chance he might be bluffing.” Gem said, her fingers curling around the pages a little tighter than she intended as her voice steadily rose in volume.

“But we shouldn’t let ourselves fall into despair over a few words from a rambunctious avian who you have easily bested time and time again!” Ren argued, his hands gesturing for emphasis.

“That is not the point!” She exclaimed, slamming the papers down on his desk in an act of aggression she wasn’t typically known for, causing the king to flinch back in his chair. Anger curled in her gut as she heaved, her hands planted firmly on the oak wood top. 

“I know I am better than Grian,” Gem said from between gritted teeth, her voice heated, “I can beat him in a fight any day. I can probably beat all of his men and women with ease, but you are missing the larger picture at play here, your majesty. It is not just about simply Grian anymore! He has people behind his movement, people whose numbers we have no way of knowing the true count of! They have plans we know nothing of, plans that have that may or may not be able to destroy us. Giving them free access to the castle would be suicide on our part!”

The silence that followed her screams was almost deafening, the tension so thick she could feel it pressing down on her. A hand came to gently hold her by the elbow, attempting to pull her away from the King, who was looking upon her with a blank expression that could either be read as anger or disappointment. She wasn’t sure which she preferred it to be. 

Gem ripped her arm away and met Scott’s eyes. He had his hand on his weapon, as did Martyn. Her old friend shook his head and she closed her eyes, standing up straight and releasing a breath to try and compose herself.

“I am sorry for losing my temper, your majesty, but please, try to hear me out.” She stressed carefully, her posture once again straight. “We would be putting ourselves at more risk that what is worth for this Ball. We would be sitting ducks just asking to be attacked.”

“....You are right, of course. I don’t know what I was…” Ren trailed off, not finishing his sentence. 

His eyes became glazed over and his gaze became far off, like he was looking through her, rather than at her. A range of emotions, all unreadable, flitted across his face, his beard twitching as his lips formed whispered words she could not hear no matter how hard she strained her ears. Gem’s eyebrows furrowed as the king seemingly spoke to himself. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth before dragging it down, stretching the skin of his face. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and it looked as though he was in pain.

Gem took a step forward and extended her hand, ready to ask him what was the matter, but before she could, he sat up and looked down the slope of his nose at her, his face firm and unyielding. He looked nothing like the excited king he had moments before, nor like the despondent one who had been yelled at. He looked cold. He looked cruel. He looked like a man she didn't know.

“I respect your insight on the matter, but I won’t be backing down on this. I will do what I think is best for my kingdom, and right now, I believe this is the best course of action to bring the public's spirits up.” Ren said, his tone leaving no room for arguments as he stared her down. Her mouth was hanging open in shock and outrage. “Now, will you be advising me on how to make sure this ball is secure, or will I have to have someone do your job for you?”

A silence settled over the royal study as Ren slid the now slightly crumpled papers towards her again.

Gem then did something she could not claim she was exactly proud of. With a broad sweep of her arms, she swiped the papers off of the wide desk. Caught in the crossfire, a handful of books and a candle stand both crashed down to the ground as the papers fluttered through the air before falling down in a gentle wave to join the other objects on the floor.

She stuck around just long enough to catch the shell-shocked looks from all three of the men in the room out of the corner of her eyes before she was bursting into the hall, leaving the door to slam against the wall and slowly creak shut behind her as she stormed away.

She bypassed her own study and carried on the rest of the way down the long hall and down the stairs.

“Hello, Commander Ge-oh! ” One of the maids tried to greet her on her way down but she strode past them, unaware of their presence in her blinded fury.

That damned king! 

He had always been an immature ruler considering how young and sheltered he had been when he came into power after his fathers untimely death during the first war. He had been kept entirely away from all of the fighting growing up, spending most of his days holed up inside of the castle as a way of ensuring the heirs' safety during volatile time; and this isolation had unfortunately extended into royal politics and responsibilities. He hadn't a damned clue what he was doing.

He was naive to the ways of the world, especially to the cruel realities of war and how it affected a nation. That had been part of the reason he even had Martyn by his side, to help guide him in his ignorance. 

She was an idiot to think that he had somehow managed to mature and grow up during this period of peace. How could he have? He was always soft, of course a soft way of living had only made him softer by default.

But even if he hadn’t grown over time, she at least expected him to have the common sense to listen to her on matters he didn’t fully understand or grasp. She knew what she was talking about. This stupid, foolish Winter Ball was a horrible idea with the resistance on the loose and their threat hanging like a slowly tightening noose around their necks at all times.

She found herself suddenly outside in the garden. 

The sun was high in the sky and the warmth she provided may have been pleasant if not for the anger already heating Gem's body. Instead, an easy sweat broke out along her skin. She pushed her thick curls out of her face, trying in vain to tuck at least some of it behind her ears to keep it out of the way. She then ran her hand down her face, wiping away the thin sheen of sweat that had already collected as she tried to breath slowly through her nose to calm herself down.

She could hear Bdubs working somewhere close by, his humming loud and a little grating on her ears, but somehow comforting in the way it accompanied the gentle lap of the water in the fountain a little ways to her left to create a mundane song of domesticity. She turned her face skyward, watching the clouds lazily roll by in the bright blue sky. 

It was a nice moment of peace, and for some reason, she felt as though it very well may be her last.

The sound of footsteps approaching her from behind drew her attention and she figured it was time for her to face the consequences of her outburst. She turned her head to face the person who had come to fetch her, expecting to find Scott, but was instead met with Martyn’s carefully schooled self stopped in front of her only a foot away.

“Chancellor,” She said.

“Commander.” He replied. He says nothing else and she turned to fully face him before speaking up herself.

“I assume his majesty is, ah, cross with me?” She asked. Martyn inhaled and looked away from her, making her wait needlessly for a response.

“No,” Marytn said after a moment, “He, surprisingly, is not.”

“Oh?” Gem questioned, crossing her arms and tilting her head at him.

“He is understanding of your anger and its origins,” Martyn said, and then he met her eyes, his own crystal blue boring into her jade. “To be honest with you, Commander, I am as well.”

Her arms fell to her side and her eyebrows raised a fraction before she could return her expression back to a more neutral one.

“I do not think that this Winter Ball is the…best of ideas. You are right, as you always are, this is a direct invitation to the resistance to infiltrate our defenses with ease. However, think of it this way, Commander. We can safely assume that they will undoubtedly show up at this event, correct?”

“Correct,” She said slowly, unsure of where he was going with this assertion.

“So then why don’t we use this opportunity to make our move?” Martyn proposed. 

“You mean… We corner Grian at the party before he can do anything and demand he and his people surrender?” She asked.

“Exactly,” He said, eyes shining with a dangerous glee. “I knew you would understand.”

“That is a rather dangerous plan. It would put the public at risk if things were to go wrong.” She said, but did not outright deny the plausibility of the plan.

“That may be so, but they will show up regardless, and who knows when they will put that plan of theirs into motion? This may be our perfect opportunity to get them right where we want them and nail them once and for all!” Martyn exclaimed, punching his hand into his open palm.

Gem hesitated. He was not wrong, this may be their chance, their long-awaited opportunity to get rid of Grian once and for all and wipe out their threat to the crown in one fell swoop. 

…However, she could not bring herself to disregard the potential casualties.

“I don’t know…” She said, trailing off. He put a hand on her shoulder and gave it exactly three firm pats.

“At least give it some thought, alright? Try to make something positive out of this inevitable mess.” He said before turning on his heels and walking back towards the castle. As he went, he passed by Scott, who had been patiently waiting near one of the hedges, listening in on their conversation.

“I’m sure you heard what he had to say.” She said, stepping up towards her friend.

“I did.” He replied. “And I know that you don’t like it.”

“No, I don’t.” She admitted. “The thought of gambling with so many lives like that just to get what I want…It doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Me neither…But he’s right, this might be our chance.” Scott said. She let out a frustrated sigh, her ear pressing into her shoulder.

“I hate that it’s come to this.” She said, holding back the tears of frustration that had been building for weeks, not allowing even a single one to spill from her eyes.

Scott said nothing, he didn’t have to. He simply placed a warm hand on the small of her back and led her once more into the castle to go over the security details for the ball she wanted nothing more than to put a stop to. 

Above them, high in the sky, dark storm clouds rolled in to obscure the beautiful blue like a foreboding omen of what was to come.

[snow-lavender]

you know, for someone who supposedly reveres and cherishes mortal life so much, fable sure doesn't treat the mortals he claims to love most with much agency or respect

[tgtbata]

another year, still drawing people doing things to each other. you might or might not know this but i started working as a doctor this year and i'm happy/proud it hasn't kept me from still drawing my silly little fictional guys. it's not much but it's honest work.

thank you to everyone who's liking, reblogging and commenting on my art! it means everything to me <3