#sure that's all well and fine now that we have things like bottom surgery and top surgery and hrt

[neverendingford]

.

[sergeifyodorov]

would u do a little analysis of how each team has done so far this season … i trust ur opinions so much

EACH team okay... under the cut bc i am not subjecting the masses to 32 nasty little thots cody edition

Bruins: RIP patrice of course but the bruins are steamrolling as ever... i think that if there is any evidence of the universe simply not caring abt good things it is that the bruins slip and stumble and have some of their best players retired and still manage to put up a 50 win season every year. <- salty leafs fan but ANYHWAY the bruins are easily a Playoff Team. simply "there" 5v5, strong power play, they make their money off finishing (pastrnak you filthy animal) and goaltending (swaymark you filthy animals). they have been trending downwards of late so i'm not entirely sure of like their final standings place but with this kind of head start they're staying up.

Sabres: currently in what we the people call a "decade of darkness." might be a "two decades of darkness" if we're going to be honest. the active player with the most playoff points with the sabres is tyler myers. 7 points. yeah the tall one most famous for having a subreddit that posts the gamescore card every time he's on the bottom of the gamescore card. sabres are really hard to fix because their first real step to contention is "hoping devon levi turns out really good." not promising. bad enough that by selling a piece or two celebrini is in sight. maybe that'll help? a third 1OA?

Red Wings: presenting the mid-season Season Ruining Unforced Error Award early by saying: not that they were going to be as good as their first few games of sniping suggested, but signing patrick kane tanked any realistic hope they have of playoffs. is patrick kane good? he's actually alright. maybe this time the surgery worked. is the team made better by having him on it? it surely isn't! a few REALLY BADLY TIMED dylan larkin based misfortunes have made it go from bad to worse. they were in A2 like a month ago and now they're Out. strengths: finishing. weaknesses: everything else, including morale.

Panthers: okay you've probably clocked this by now but ive been Generally Salty so far and that is bc a) im easily tempted to haterhood and b) currently discussing each team in the atlantic which does nothing to make me less Tempted To Haterhood. that being said the panthers are Good and For Real About It. they can do everything except finish chances, which is fine when the other team has way fewer chances than you and your goalie doesn't let any of them in. fuck ALLL the way off. place your bets on these guys having a deep playoff run. cross your fingers for them not having a deep playoff run i can't stand chuckyposting again it's RAN ITS COURSE. (also: machuk is probably still injured and absolutely Not doing as well as he did the last few seasons. maybe because he's just not that kind of guy but it's probably at least mostly the broken chest thing)

Canadiens: they are bad EXCEPT when it comes to overtime + the shootout. also much like the sabres they're going nowhere fast. i expect at least one of their goalies to be gone at the deadline... furthermore i think ppl who are ragging on slaf's slow development are simply expecting all 1OAs to be like an auston or a connor type (pick your connor) where they come in and immediately adapt -- slaf rings very reminiscent of quinton byfield to me, who was picked 2OA in 2020 and is only now starting to break out. give him time he's a baby...

Senators: despite how much literally everyone talks up all their players constantly, they are not good either. like the sabres or the habs... atlantic is 4 teams in the genuine hunt, 3 teams who suck and have sucked forever and will suck forevermore, and the red wings who haven't made up their minds yet. the sens actually Do have a singular Biggest Problem though and that's goaltending, but they're not a good enough team otherwise that getting a quality goaltender is going to make them playoffs worthy, especially not in the very short (this-season) run.

Lightning: the lightning are weird to me because like i think they're still making up their mind as A People what they want to do. kucherov is the best player in the league rn, this is stamkos' ufa season and he hasn't been offered an extension, vasilevskiy is back and vasying his levskiy... i fully believe they have the capability of getting a playoff spot, maybe even A3 if they want. we've all seen them in the playoffs, we know how they can turn ~It~ on at will. as always they're a deeply mid 5v5 team powered by very strong special teams... the goaltending numbers say goaltending is shit but they've been playing in front of the genuinely unplayable jonas johansson most of the season so i think it'll be fine.

Maple Leafs: as the team ive watched the moast i can talk about these guys for evar so for all of our sanities i will be brief: Auston Matthews, Baby, Look At Him, That's Auston, Auston Motherfucking "Sexy Mustached Bitch" Matthews!!!!!!! powered by an extremely strong power play and very good offence, and defence and goaltending that is held together by Morgan Rielly and a dream. possibly the only reason they're in a playoff spot is the fact that martin jones didn't get claimed on waivers three months ago and i am being dead serious about that. for some reason they're at their best when they're down by two. they do really need both their #1 goalie to come back from injury and to make a splash for a genuine nhl-calibre defenceman, but they're stubbornly determined to win games even through nasty flu.

Hurricanes: their usual selves -- analytics darlings, can't buy a goal. this year they can't buy a save either -- Freddie is out with a medical condition, Raanta is straight up not good, and Kochetkov is... well, he's Kochetkov. they're not far out of a spot but they'll need a hot hand if they want to get comfy... which i don't expect, frankly. they're good enough to make the playoffs, but they're not really a team that goes on heaters, so they'll be bubble until the end.

Blue Jackets: genuinely not sure they know what they're doing like... okay. from an outside pov they are obviously Tanking. they're bad in every way that matters except for finishing and the standings show it. but also like... they're at the point in their development cycle where they shouldn't be tanking... or at least are on the verge of Shouldn't Be Tanking. and again, because they don't know what they're doing, they hired mike babcock for this... if they know what they're doing they'll toss kekalainen as soon as they can and, following this year's draft, start Fighting. but let's be real i doubt that. adam fantilli it's your time to shine... sorry sweetheart!

Devils: see Hurricanes. Great on paper, can't buy a save. They've obviously been stunted by Timo, J'accuse, and Nico all being injured at various points, but goaltending is their biggest and most solvable problem. Unlike the Hurricanes, though, the Devils are fully capable of going on a heater, so the gap between them and WC2 isn't as big as it looks (probably.) Luke Hughes is going to be something special.

Rangers: Looks like Lafreniere is finally getting his feet under him -- but the Rangers have always been far more about getting old, known players to get a second wind with them than they've been about prospect development, and Quick and Wheeler are both showing this pretty definitively. Another one of those teams that's run by special teams and finishing/goaltending. Easy playoff spot, likely solid run. Nothing too interesting here.

Islanders: On the other hand, the Isles are interesting because... like... how did they get There? They have a negative goal differential, for heaven's sake! Their special teams are godawful, their defence is a sieve, they blow leads like that's what actually gets you points in this league, and they're somehow second in the Metropolitan??????? Is it Horvat? Barzal? Sorokin? (It's probably Sorokin.) They'll make the playoffs but i doubt they'll succeed in them.

Flyers: This one's also weird. They have the power play and offence of a peewee team in the big leagues, but have become defensively Actually Super Competent and are somehow good because of this? I'm going to theorize -- because you've asked me to but also because I really want to -- that this is due, at least in part, to somewhat of an inverse Kane-on-the-Red-Wings effect from their offseason removal of Provorov and DeAngelo; without them, the team is now not only better defensively on paper but also better as a team in the locker room. They're [uncle voice] playing with heart now! I doubt they're a real contender, but I think they might actually make playoffs.

Penguins: ...this one's also weird. They're good on paper. Like, really good on paper? Defensively "just okay" but offensively great, goaltending is fantastic, special teams are shutdown. They just can't buy a goal and they can't buy a good sequence.

Capitals: This one's weird, too, but in the opposite way -- aside from the power-play, the Caps are actually godawful on paper, especially when it comes to finishing (because when Ovechkin takes such a high percentage of your shots but he isn't scoring, your team REALLY suffers) but somehow they've managed to pinpoint sequencing luck (win close, lose ugly) and are somehow in WC1. Do I think they'll make the playoffs? Absolutely not -- if either the Devils or Canes step up, the Caps are the odd man out -- but it might be fun to see them try. Or hell, I hope they win-close-lose-ugly their way to a goddamn Cup final. Would be funny as fuck for Ovi's second-longest ever playoff run to come at the fresh young age of thirty-eight. Dude looks ragged out there. I'm going to shut up now before I start talking about finding him sexy

Coyotes: Simple on paper: bad at running play, good goaltending and finishing. Essentially what the Canucks are doing at a smaller scale. The Leafs should never have let Kerfoot walk and I mean that unironically. Okay, anyway, the Yotes are a bubble team and won't make higher than WC1 because of the logjam at the top of the Central, but holy fuck do I want them to make WC1 (or a playoff spot in general.) People ask "how can we grow the game" a lot, and when it comes to what the NHL can do directly, the number one biggest thing is win in small markets. Arizona has already created one of the sports' biggest stars -- Auston! -- and it's an absolutely massive TV market and a potential hotbed of new fans and new, great players. Arizona making a playoff spot -- or even better, going on a run -- would be amazing for the NHL. And it would be funny. And I would like that.

Blackhawks: shoutout to dave !!! dave who works for the hawks!!! anyway the hawks are very obviously tanking and good at it. Their only real point of interest is their Sacred Child, and holy fuck is their Sacred Child going to absolutely fucking smash it when he's given a team that's not entirely made up of scrubs. i think his analytics, especially his defensive numbers, are, like, fine? but accounting for his leverage (all situations, especially the difficult ones), his teammates (his best linemate is Anthony Beauvillier, and tito... is a third liner), and the fact that he's all of eighteen, he's definitely on track to be a Real Force. i kinda love him... okay moving on.

Avalanche: All-over good: finishing their biggest obvious strength, but hockeywise they don't have any real weaknesses... although there is some serious Drama brewing in that locker room and i think it might just be getting started. with landeskog gone for at least until the end of this year (and possibly forever) and ej a sabre, there is absolutely no one in there capable of actually emotionally running a team: makar lacking in a leader's magnetism, rantanen an idiot, toews and mackinnon far too high-strung and competitive, and no one else with seniority. they're a good enough team that it's not really affecting them right now, but ... i don't know, i can kind of feel it coming. They'll make the playoffs, but when the pressure is on they'll either step up or completely fall apart.

Stars: See above: all-over good, but saving their biggest obvious weakness. I think most of this is spurred by Otter being out -- Wedgewood is a serviceable backup goaltender, but obviously not capable of being a real starter, and the team is stuttering because of it. I doubt it'll be for long or too much difficulty (they're a good defensive team, so it's not going to affect them a lot, but they might lose a game or two they might have won with Otter, especially if he's out for a while), but it's going to keep them from taking a step on top of the Central. Easy playoff team, probable contender.

Wild: They are bad! Penalty kill is their worst weakness, but they're not great in goal either and the combination is kicking their ass. As much as I respect how well they've done with that giant cap-space penalty from the Parise/Suter buyouts all those years ago, it's... kind of time to throw in the towel. Get Flower those final few wins, because by god are they devoid of much other success. Right at the tail of a competitive arc. RIP. Tank incoming.

Predators: Weirdly good, even though Saros hasn't been his usual self? O'Reilly esp has been an absolutely fantastic addition for the team over the offseason. No huge strengths, no significant weaknesses. Not an amazing offensive team, but it's Nashville so they were never going to be -- the place practically breeds defensive forwards and all-around dmen. I don't expect they'll seriously contend, but they'll make the playoffs (unless someone offers the farm for Saros).

Blues: I genuinely think so little about the Blues .... that whole thing with Jordan Kyrou has been the most I've thought about them for a bit. That and the fact that only three of their games haven't been decided by the first goal? They're not good and they're really boring. Yeehaw.

Jets: THE JETS let's get JUICY. Jets' biggest strengths by far are a) 5v5 defence and b) finishing/goaltending. Even with Kyle Connor out they're sniping and Hellebuyck and Brossoit are both absolutely on it. The Jets have always seemed to have this problem where on paper (take a shot every time I've written "on paper" in this post if you want to die of alcohol poisoning) they seem fantastic, then January onwards they absolutely plummet. And it's not January yet, so that might still happen, but that kind of thing tends to happen because of a dramatic morale shift, and now that Lowry's captain and Wheeler's left for New York... that might not happen? They've banked enough points that unless they're historically bad from here on out they're still a playoff team. If they keep up what they have going so far, they're a contender, but if it's the same Winnipeg with the same problems, then they're not.

Ducks: Taking a step in the right direction with Carlsson and Mintyukov, but still bad! I really hope Carlsson recovers well, he seems like a sweet boy. Also: what on Earth are they doing with Zegras. Is he a defenceman now? Are they making him play defence? Are he and Dixie D'Amelio still dating? I have many questions. I just hope whichever high draft pick they get is an idiot. I feel like they need another dumbass baby on the team.

Flames: The Flames also appear to have no idea what's going on. And frankly, neither do I! They're too good to be obviously tanking, but not near good enough to be a bubble team. They're definitely reluctant to sell, but their best hope to win soon absolutely should be selling. They have one of the worst contracts in the league on their payroll (wow... I hope the guy in charge of my favourite team didn't sign that!) and a bunch of really solid late-round picks and prospects cutting their teeth on the NHL. In short: they aren't going to make the playoffs and should be leaning into that, but they don't seem to have realized this yet.

Oilers: For the sake of not gloating, I'm going to sum this one up with a Marek quote: If you have a goalie, it's 70% of your team. If you don't, it's 100%. They've had finishing trouble, but considering they absolutely run the show at 5v5 AND special teams (they put nearly SIXTY SHOTS on Vasilevskiy the other day) a little finishing shouldn't be quite so dangerous if they didn't have two sieves minding the net. McDavid might hit 150 again and the Oil might still miss the playoffs. If they get in, they're going far, but at this point it'll be tough as fuck to make it in.

Kings: Average penalty kill. No other weaknesses. Kopitar 4 Selke.

Sharks: This is an absolutely glorious tankjob. No other way to put it. This is the pinnacle of tank design. This is the Wayne Gretzky of tankjobs. This is the Casablanca of tankjobs. This is the Saturn V of tankjobs. Nothing has been so beautifully engineered to suck since Sir James Dyson patented his vacuum or Nancy Reagan walked the earth. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. I am in awe. They deserve Celebrini purely because of how flawless the tank is. I don't care if he has a warm undertone and would look pink in that fantastic teal. The boy needs San Jose.

Kraken: Good defensively at 5v5, bad pretty much everywhere else. I'm going to be honest with you all, last year was kind of a flash in the pan -- Seattle isn't great and they're neither headed upwards nor downwards. Not a bubble team, probably won't pick top ten. They haven't decided whether or not to build up or tank. Beyond the fantastic aesthetics and four-unranked-lines shtick, they don't really have a whole lot of competitive mojo: no star forwards, no goaltending. Wholeheartedly mid.

Canucks: oH BABY!!!!! The 23-24 Canucks made us all learn what PDO is. The 23-24 Canucks are first in the motherfucking league after being one spot out of being in the Bedard lottery. The 23-24 Canucks are on track to have the best shooting and saving percentage in league history. The 23-24 Canucks' leading goalscorer is Brock Boeser, the guy they've almost traded practically every year since they drafted him. The 23-24 Canucks started the season by naming the Wettest Little Man On The Planet captain and they haven't looked back since. I think they're an easy lock for a playoff spot -- but within the playoffs, do I know what they're going to do? I absolutely do not. They could PDO their way to a Cup or they could bow out in four games flat. Either is equally likely. They have thoroughly embraced Good Chaos. Quinn Hughes might win the Hart. Everything's coming up Vancouver.

Golden Knights: Not as good as they were last year. Ultimately still pretty good. Easy playoff spot. Definite contender. Jack Eichel is better than ever and I love him for it, the dickhead.

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 5

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: For week 3 of my pride event: Sex. Joel and Blue make everything official. Kayla ruins everything.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: Sorry ya'll this just happened with the story and it felt right for what was happening and the characters.. Warning for brief DV nothing extreme or detailed.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: Not to sound like a 2012 wattpad writer but I cried writing this.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Things had been going well for weeks. Kayla had been taking Sarah on weekends consistently, which meant she didn’t have a man to distract her. This, however, meant she didn’t have a man to distract her away from Joel’s love life. Still, a little bit of boundary setting had done well for him, and Kayla had mostly been minding her business. Joel was able to see Blue every weekend, and was even able to spend more time with Tommy and Tess which was rare. 

Tonight, he had just got done having dinner at your house and was cuddling on the couch with you in his arms, all wrapped up. He liked moments like this a lot. Don’t get him wrong, he’d gone to another show with you and had a good time, but he was definitely happy to just sit at home with you.

You’d seemed an unlikely pair, you and him. You liked leather and black and grunge. He liked country and jeans and… well he wasn’t really sure what he really ”liked”, honestly. He loved Sarah. He liked All That, he liked Arthur, he didn't like Barney, he liked Franklin… what did he watch when Sarah was in bed? Sleep. He mostly slept. Sometimes he watched King of the Hill… he listened to Clinton Black, Garth Brooks… Sarah liked Reba, which was nice. Things to do for fun? He liked to play the guitar for Sarah. He liked to go to the park with Sarah. He liked to go with Sarah and Tommy to the roller rink… 

“I’d like yuh to meet Sarah.” Joel said against your ear, arms wrapped around your waste as he lay propped up against the arm rest. “Really meet her this time”

You paused, then sat up to turn and face him. You were smiling softly, eyes wide. “Really? I don’t want you to feel like you have to… but I’d love too…” Something hit you, making you bite your lip. “Introduce me as… what, exactly.” When you saw his eyes widen, you told him he didn’t have to pick a label right now, but he cut you off.

“My girlfriend. If you wanna.”

You squeal, returning to his arms for a hug and a kiss. “Yes!!!”

Joel returns the kiss, pulling you close, sliding a hand to the small of your back as you deepened the kiss, straddling his body. You and him had been making out, and of course the blow job outside the concert, but no sex. Not yet…

“Stay the night.” You whispered between kisses. “We don’t gotta do nothing you’re not ready for, but I’d love if you wanted to stay over”

Joel looked up at you, heart swelling faster than his cock in his pants. He reached up to touch your face. “I’m ready… only if you wanna”

You responded by grinding your cunt over his jeans, kissing him once more. You slide your tongue into his mouth, dominating the kiss and him. When you make it to the bedroom, Joel follows your lead, letting you press him up against the door as you fiddle with his belt. “Got any- mphhh- got any questions?”

His brow furrowed, looking a little confused and flushed. “With what? I don’t know if you know this, but I ain’t a virgin. Kid and all.”

“Yeah, I’m aware.” You chuckle. “I meant with the whole ‘not born with a vagina’ thing.”

The look on his face told you he forgot about that. “Oh. Um… I guess… can you… um…”

“Orgasm?!?!” You bawked, in disbelief that at the prospect of having sex with a transwomen, something he barely knew existed before you, and he’s concerned if you’re going to have a good time. “Yes, I can orgasm Joel. I got a fucked ton of lube by my drawer too, so we’re covered there, baby. Just.” you sigh, guiding him to the bed as you pull down his pants. “Sweetie,” You coo, his big brown eyes gazing adoringly as you return to your rightful place above him. “Just let me take care of you tonight, ‘kay? I got you.”

Awestruck, you nodded. “Yes ma’am.” In his dark boxer briefs, his cock is straining, heavy.

You slowly pull his briefs down, Joel humps his hips up to help and you stare in aw as his cock strings free. He’s hung, absolutely packing and you can see why Tess came back for a few more rounds. Getting a chance to look at him, really look at him this time… Big dick, big eyes, big man… bigger heart. He’s soft, kind. He’s gentle in a way you’d never seen from a southern farmer, a body capable of total destruction if he wanted to, but no room in his heart for it. You couldn’t imagine your sweet, precious man hurting anyone.

When you took him in your mouth, you couldn’t make it all the way down. You’d practice on tat, vowing to be able to deep throat him, but it didn’t seem to matter. He was a mess already. When was the last time he fucked someone? It’d been a few years since Tess and she never mentioned Joel having a girl since Kayla… You wanted to make him feel good. But Joel had other plans. 

“Wanna taste you.” He begs, tugging at your hair. “Really wanna taste you, Blue, please?” Joel is practically whimpering at you like a puppy and god, who are you to deny him? 

“You ever had someone sit on your face, Joel?”

He nods. Good, you didn’t wanna freak him out. He’s not a virgin, but you didn’t think he was the most experienced either. “Stay there.”

You spread your legs over his face, carefully lowering yourself on him when he surprises you by grabbing your thighs and yanking you down. “Hungry boy” You chuckle, delighted with his excitement. He shows no interest in the slight scarring, if he was even paying enough attention to notice; he seemed preoccupied.

Joel devoured you whole, moving and working with your body as you ground yourself on his face. He felt good, he knew what he was doing, that was for sure. Even if he didn’t get out much, he certainly had the enthusiasm. “Fuck Joel, just like that… Just like that…” You’re sure to make sure he knows he’s doing good, you weren’t going to get wet on your own. His nose nudges along your fold as he sucks on your clit when you bend over, jacking him off. You’d love to 69 him -he deserved it- but you didn’t want him orgasming too soon, and the poor guy was already looking like he was just barely hanging on as it was. You cum in his mouth, shouting out his name as you grip his perfect cock tightly, so tight you can’t believe he didn’t spurt all over your hand but you would have forgiven him if he had with the feeling he gave you. Riding his nose and putty lower lip until you’re done taking all your pleasure. 

When you flop over on the bed, Joel is on you in a second, lips sucking in yours desperately. He needs you, you can tell, but won’t ask for it. Joel isn’t the kind to take. He’s a giver. If you asked him to eat you out again he would, and would, and would until you’re ran dry and he’d just lay there, cock hard, cleaning you up. Because that was Joel. 

But you weren’t going to do that to him. Because he deserved to know he was worthy of love, pleasure, happiness.

When you drop on top of him, encasing him in your lubed up, warm cunt. He opens you in a way you’ve never felt before, making you moan onto the stubbled jaw you were kissing, making you whimper in such a way he asked if you were okay. No one on this earth was a better man than Joel Miller.

You rode him, hands pressed against his firm pecs and stomach rubbing against his softness. All the lifting in the world wasn’t going to work his abs, and the man was living off junk and the real food Frank made for lunch. He’s soft around the edges. Joel is a whiny, moaning mess and you savor every single second of it. Breathing in his shuttered exhales, letting it be your breath of life no matter how your legs burned as you bounced. Thumbs to soft inner thighs, you gave until your heart burst.

“I love you.” You blurt out, voice shaking as you admit your feelings, perhaps too soon. You hold your breath, closing your eyes tight as your brace for rejection, or even more scary; his devotion. Upright and spearing yourself on his sweet dick, you continue your movements blindly.

Until you feel him rise up.

Joel surged towards you, wrapping your body up in one arm and gripping the back of your neck with the other hand. Chest to chest, lips to lips, body to warm, adoring body.

“I love you,” He fucks his hips up into your body, muttering against your lips and cheek. “I love you so much, Blue.” And you believe him. 

Joel comes inside after you beg him for it. One orgasm is enough for you, you generally can’t twice but Joel does have you doubting that. He fills you up, clutching your ass and shoulders to him with fingers in your skin and face buried in your neck.

*

You wake up to your landline ringing. 

“Hello?” You answer quietly, but Joel stirs anyway.

On the other side, you hear Tommy. “Hey Blue, Joel with you?”

“Yeah, everything okay?”

Joel is up, eyes wide recognizing his brother's voice. He likes the phone from you. “Tommy? You alright?”

“Jesus Joel, had me worried. Kayla called damn near every bar in town trying to get a hold of me.”

“Shit.” Joel mutters, sitting on the side of the bed. “Sarah okay?”

Tommy said he didn’t know, but Kayla had been trying to call him. Joel hung up, searching for his phone. After calling Sarah good night, it fell under the bed.

You watch him frantically call Kayla, being sure to keep quiet. You know his ex can get jealous and he doesn’t need more stress. He’s so clearly worried, and you are too. It’s 1:30 am, if Kayla is calling then something is wrong with Sarah. “Whats wrong? Where’s Sarah?”

“She won’t stop crying, Joel.” Kayla snaps at him. Is she just calling because Sarah’s crying?

Joel scrubs his face. “Kayla, did you try comforting her?”

“Of course I did, you fucking asshole” You didn’t like how she speak to Joel, and you seethed in your anger, mouth still shut. “She won’t stop screaming. You need to pick her up, I can’t fucking do this.”

Joel sighs, standing up. You begin gathering his things for him. He’s butt naked, dick swinging. “Jesus, okay, I’ll come get her. Just go hold her, okay? She gets scared at night.”

Kayla snapped at him, saying she’s aware. 

He turns to you, apologetic. “I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare fucking apoligise, cowboy.” You toss him his briefs. “Sarah comes first, always. I’d do the same if I had a kid.”

He mumbles, redressing. “She always does this. Begs and cries about never seeing her, but sends her back early. Breaks Sarah’s little heart, you know? The uncertainty. She always dressed up so cute to see her mom, always brings her best art she makes at kindergarten, picture books she can read… even pretends to like Mariah Carey when she used to make me change the station. I can’t fucking take it.”

Your heart hurts for Sarah and Joel. Your own mom and dad never got you, even before coming out as trans or gay. You just were never right in their eyes. Years later, you start to think it was more about them than it was you. Who you are now is who you were always meant to be. You are happy. They are still miserable.

“Go get your daughter, Joel.” You kiss his cheek after he pulls his boots on. “Call me in the morning, or whenever you have time.”

He pauses, stopping to wrap his arms around you, strong and safe. “I meant every single word I said, Blue. I love you.”

“I know.” And you did.

*

After speeding on the empty roads, Joel makes it in record time, parking in front of some jacked up truck and  knocking on the door. He didn’t want to ring in case Sarah fell back asleep. The door flung open to reveal and frazzled Kayla. “About time, she’s been screaming non stop!” She opened the door and Joel looked inside, not seeing her but hearing her scream frantically. Kayla was dressed in a flownsy night top and panties, makeup lightly on like she kept when she first started sleeping over at Joel’s parents.

“Where is she?” He follows the sound of her cries. She sounds absolutely batshit terrified, calling mommy, mommy, mommy. He’s unfamiliar with Kayla place. “Sarah? Where are you baby girl?”

The mommy’s switched to daddy’s with renewed vigor and Joel quickly found the room, running to it but finding the bedroom door locked. He jiggled it, hearing Sarah’s voice on the other end of sobbing for him. Something was wrong. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’m here. Daddy’s here.” He tried to sound calm but turned to Kayla, furious. “Why is the door locked.”

“Don’t raise your voice at-”

“KAYLA UNLOCK IT!”

Kayla grabbed the key from a table nearby, explaining as she unlocked it, Joel’s voice reassuring Sarah she was safe it was okay. 

“She had a nightmare, said she saw you and Tommy die on that stupid fucking farm. Wouldn’t shut the fuck up when I tried to tell her you’re-”

As soon as it was unlocked Joel burst in, dropping to his knees to scoop up his baby and soothe her. Sarah continued to cry, but relief to it.

“I’m okay, my baby. I’m okay, so is uncle Tommy. I promise.” His hands felt her shampoo or conditioner soupy residue in there. Joel told her not to wash Sarah’s hair, that it was washed the night before but she didn’t listen. Kayla never took time with washing it, rinsing it properly.

After getting the number of the last bar that Kayla found Tommy at, he got a hold of his brother when Sarah was yet to be reassured her beloved uncle was alive.

“See Sare-Bear! I’m right as rain! I even promise to make you chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, even if your dad says no, okay?”

Sarah niffles, still clearly shook up and visible shaking in her barbie nightie, but better. “O-okay. You promise you’re not hurt?”

“Not one bit, never been better. Want me to come home?”

“No… no…” But she didn’t sound certain.

Once Sarah was reassured, Joel scooped her up. She clung to her dad, clutching his shirt in her little hands. Joel turned to Kayla with a glare. “You locked my daughter in her room when she thought her dad and uncle were D-E-A-D?” He spelled out, making Kayla roll her eyes. 

“You cuddle her too much, you and Tommy both. She needs to learn to cry it out.”

“One, she’s 5 and had a horrible nightmare. Two, you literally called me!” Then, Joel heard a thump coming from another room and it made sense now. The truck, Kayla underwear and makeup. “Kayla. Do you have a man in the house right now?”

She looked like she was about to lie, then thought better of it. “What I do with my home is none of your business.”

He tried to keep calm, chest rising and falling in anger against Sarah, still gently sniffing. They had an agreement on this. “How long have you known this man.”

She crossed her arms defensively, “A few weeks.”

His jaw ticked. “You brought a man you barely know to sleep over while my daughter is here?” In anger, he turned around, walking to the door but Kayla shouted after him.

“Relax Joel! This ain’t even the first time! Sarah likes him, he’s nice, he-”

Whipping around, Joel took long footsteps towards Kayla, clutching Sarah who had begun crying again. Sarah knew when a fight was happening. “How long as this been going on? Do you leave her alone with him?” Then he realized… if Sarah met him, and never mentioned him… he took a deep breath. “Kayla. Did you tell my child not to tell her father about a man? Did you seriously tell her to keep a secret from me?”

Joel never ever said. “don’t tell mom.” Ever. His heart raced in fear about the potition she was put in. If Sarah didn’t think she could tell him about the man, if anything happened, she’d keep that a secret too.

“Joel, it’s not a -”

“Don’t! No more sleepovers Kayla! No more of this until you can stop doing stupid-”

Seeing the slap coming and bracing for it was the only thing keeping his face from rolling into Sarah’s head. His eyes remained closed, blurring with tears. Not of pain, but humiliation. Knowing Sarah just heard her mom hit her dad. He’d always managed to keep that shit away from her… 

“What, are you gonna cry now?” She mocked, but Joel wouldn’t have it.

“Sarah, sweetie, say goodbye to mommy. We’re going home.”

Sarah waved goodbye, but didn’t speak. Joel took her into the car and buckled her safely in, pulling a blanket over her legs in her nightie. He’d send Tommy to get the rest of her things tomorrow. Right now, he needed to get Sarah home.

Joel laid in bed with her, holding Sarah close to him on the twin bed. He tried to lull her back to sleep, but she hadn’t stopped sniffling and gently crying the whole ride back, even as Joel tried to distract her. 

“Why doesn’t mommy like me?” Sarah mumbled against Joel’s arm, her back to his chest.

“Oh baby…” He kissed her hair. “Your mommy loves you so, so much. She and I think you’re just the coolest kid ever.”

She thought on this for a while. “You know the bird I made in kindergarten? Where I glued the feathers?”

“Yes baby, I remember.”

“And the sheet where I wrote my name 5 times?”

“I remember, it looked so good.”

“I brought them… and last night I saw them in the trash.”

Joel’s eyes welled up with tear, tucking his face into her hair to hide it. “It must be an accident, Sarah. We get so many bills, it probably just got lost in the piles.”

“I put it on the fridge for her.”

“It must have fallen…” Joel hated lying to her, but… “You know, just the other day your mom called me to tell me how she’s so proud of you. How she thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world and so, so smart.”

Sarah’s bedroom door cracked open, Tommy appearing.

“Hey Sare-bear” He spoke gently. “Got room for me?”

Joel scooched over and saw Sarah smiling for the first time. Daddy was comfort, but Uncle was joy. “Yes!!”

As Tommy took off his boots and jacket, Joel enlisted him to his lie. “Tommy, remember how her mom was telling us how proud she is of Sarah?” 

Tommy got the jist. “Oh yeah, she’s always talk’n ‘bout you. Can’t get her to stop, really. Says you know more about dinosaurs than anyone else on the planet.”

“Yeah! Because I saw Jurassic Park!”

Joel shot Tommy a look but let it slide. At least Tommy doesn’t tell Sarah to keep secrets. “Yup. See baby? She loves you so much.”

“Good” Sarah yawned. “Because I love mommy. I wanna be just like her when I grow up.”

The three of them fell asleep like that on the twin bed. Sarah snuggled right up in her daddy’s arms, uncle Tommy on the other end holding her little hand. 

In the morning, Tommy made them all chocolate chip pancakes.

Lets get on the fight Kayla club!!!!!

Tommy loves his neice....

Sarah is perfectly safe, I promise.

please lmk your thoughts!!!! Thanks for all the cool works with this pride event!!!

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[theyanderespecialist]

Stolas's Trans Man (Headcanons) Yandere Stolas X Trans Man Reader/Listener

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another chapter this is another pride month one, with Yandere Stolas x Trans Man you/Reader/Listener (And I am going to make him a goetia more info in the disclaimer) I hope that you all enjoy this!] 

(Disclaimer 1: for those who do not know a bird has a cloaca. Meaning that they have one hole for everything, poo, pee, and reproductive holes! Since you were afab you can lay eggs (until your transition. Just telling you, so you know what you are working with. Your periods also consist of you laying smaller eggs. Yes, a period can be worse than what we have for uterus havers on Earth! Anyways let's do this! 

Disclaimer 2: Stolas is not yandere in canon, but he is a gay man in canon. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine, just do not be illegal or gross about it, yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! thank you, and happy Pride! Trans Rights are human rights, and trans men are men!) 

-Headcanons With Yandere Stolas X Trans Male Reader- 

.Stolas was now exploring his sexuality with Blitz, but he did not know he would catch feelings for another Goetia. 

.You were around a decade younger than him, in your early twenties and you just came out to your parents. 

.The whole Goetia family laughed about it so you were staying away from them as much as possible. 

.Stolas and you met at the divorce party Stella forced him to go to. 

.He had never felt this way before not even for Blitzy! 

.He would be talking with you and notice that you have a lot of chest feathers. 

.When he learns that yes you are a trans man, it makes sense. 

.He is very happy to take you under his wing and promises you that he will help you become the man you always wanted to be. 

.He just wants you close and he wants to make you happy, and at this point, he does not give a fuck about what his ex-wife thinks. 

.His first love with Blitz has failed so he is not going to be ready to hope into something new. 

.But he does help guide you through it.

.Such as helping you pluck your chest feathers that are too much. Not to mention any other feathers that would need to be molted off once you are that far on T.

.He would also kind of be a sugar daddy for you, helping you pay for all your testosterone and surgeries, not to mention anything else that you would need. 

.He is also a master in potion making so he would make you potions to help you with your transition as well. 

.Being very supportive of you and help you where he can. 

.Of course the more you become a man the more it does things to and for him. 

.It goes from being a older person in the Goetia to being a man that wanted you, another man. 

.Once he realizes this he becomes more and more nervous. 

.What if you do not like him? What if you think lowly of him like Blitz did? 

.He is a yandere who is so insecure and has so much anxiety. 

.Though he is protective, he can go from worrywart to downright terrifying. 

.Most people forget how powerful Stolas Is, and how dangerous he is. 

.He would deal with rivals pretty much by either turning them to stone or even straight-up torturing them, maybe even feeding those rivals to his plants. 

.He is a big romantic and would have to sit down to ask if you wanted kids with him. 

.Since you were AFAB he knows that is a choice if you want to have an egg or two with him before you have bottom surgery. 

.He does not need to have kids with you, he is also okay with adoption. 

.The only thing that matters to him is you. 

.Very protective and loving and just wants you to be you and to make you happy! 

.So he would do everything to make sure that you feel like the man you are. 

.He is also the type of yandere partner that would let you put a strap on and have your way with him. 

.He will make you feel like a man in and out of the bedroom. 

.He does a LOT of gender-affirming things for you that is a fact. 

.Also if anyone misgenders you, he will throw his status and power around, and be like "Do we have a problem!" 

.He is a yandere who tries to make sure that everything is perfect. 

.When he finally does confess to you it is a big grand thing. 

.If you accept this love he will have you fully move in (you were pretty much already living there.) so that he and you can start a life together~ 

.If that does not happen he will be heartbroken and push you away, he cannot see that beautiful smile and know that you do not feel the same. 

.He will still support you but he would be hurt, of course, his yandere side is not going to let you be with anyone else. 

.If he cannot have you then no one can, and that is that!] 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done, I hope you all enjoyed this and stay sexy! All of my sexy muffins!] 

[nykie-love-anime]

Dads best friend

Aizawa and Present Mic are 45 and Reader is 25. Present Mic had you when he was only 20 and unfortunately you mom died during childbirth. He has been an amazing father to you since.

Warnings: smut and cursing.

“Okay bye.” Aizawa said hanging up his phone. “Is everything ok?” you questioned the man in front of you. “Yeah, everything is good. Your dad is fine, his surgery went well. We can go see him tomorrow the doctor just want him to rest for a bit more.” Shota replied with a relieved sigh. “He is stable for now which is a good thing and they want to keep an eye on him through the night that is also why we can’t visit.” He continued.

“Thank the heaven for that. I really don’t know how I would survive without him. He is after all my dad and I don’t want him to go yet we still have so much to do. I still have so much to show him.” You said with tears in your eyes. “I miss him so, so much, I haven’t been away from him in so long.” You said, lightly crying now.

“I know Y/N/N. But everything is okay and he will make a full recovery. He is okay” Shota replied pulling you into his arms. His heart breaking as you sniffled trying to keep your tears at bay. Hizashi is his best friend and he also don’t know how he would survive without his loud best friend and that is why he is feeling like a shitty friend for how he is looking at you.

He knows it is wrong but he can’t stop. Hizashi would kill Shota if he ever found out about the dreams he has been having about you every few nights. Waking up with a boner with no one to help him blow a load.

“Do you want to do something in the meanwhile?” he questioned you with a small smile. “Do you wanna go eat or see a new movie?” Aizawa asked pulling away from the hug even though he didn’t really want to let you go just yet.

“Can we go for a swim.” You queried. “Oh sure. I could go for a dip.” He said smiling at you. If he is going to hell he might as well enjoy life a bit more. “I believe we could really do with a good jump in the pool. Especially after the week we both had” He chuckled with you just nodding along.

“Let’s change into our bathing suits and meet at the pool in five?” “Yeah, sounds good.” You giggled running to your room excited to show Aizawa your new bikini even if it is not going to stay on very long.

“Let’s do that.” He mumbled looking at your jiggling butt as you run up the stairs. “Mmmh I could get used to that.” He whispered continuing to stare at your ass not knowing you heard him and you couldn’t be happier.

Shota was the first one out and decided to climb in the pool to settle his growing crotch. Adjusting his swimming trunks as you glided out the back door. ‘Holy fuck. I am so going to hell for this.’ He thought. ‘All I wanna do is fuck her.’ He continued with his naughty thoughts. The water helping with his issue a little bit.  

 Sighing he laid his head on the edge of the pool just laying back and enjoying the water in this warm weather. ‘Thank you, Mic, for installing a pool.’ Is all Aizawa could think to distract him from you in that blue bikini.

As you laid down your towel Aizawa looked up at you with a grin. You waved at him with a laugh and started pulling on your bikini top strings. “How is the water?” You asked pulling off the top causing the man in the pool to stutter over his words. “It’s lovely.”

Next to go is your bikini bottoms throwing it next to the top you begin walking into the pool. “Uuh, what are you doing?” the teacher questioned. “I did not want my new bikini to get wet.” You replied innocently looking at his shocked face.

“You know…” he trailed off as you sat next to him on the swimming pool stair. “You know you can’t be naked in here. Especially with me in here.” “Why are you getting hard?” you asked him with a teasing smile. “What, no. NO!” he exclaimed looking at your face trying not to look down at your breasts. “Are you going to fuck me?” you asked and all Aizawa could do was choke out no a few times not knowing what else to say.

“What are you even saying I am old enough to be your father. In fact, I am as old as your father.” He stated causing you to giggle. “So I am 25 I can make my own decisions.” You retorted. Smiling at the shocked look on his face.

“No, I am…” he cut himself off not knowing what else to do. “You have like three hours to fuck me before my friends arrive.” You said with a grin. “What are you going to do?” you asked prolonging the o.

‘Don’t do it Aizawa. She is half your age. She is 25 but she is still your best friends daughter. Who is in the hospital because of a car crash might I add.’ The little angel on his right side said.

He struggled with his inner demons. All you could do is play with your boobs biting your lip as you look at him contemplating the idea. Hoping he will consider the thought.

‘Fucking do it. You have been having dreams about her since she was 21. Here she is presenting herself like a gift. Yours for the taking. How often do you get the opportunity to fuck her. Fuck her brains out.’ Little demon Aizawa countered little angel Aizawa. “Fuck it.” Aizawa mumbled pulling you into his lap pressing his lips against your with urgency.

 Kissing him felt amazing. You have been dreaming of kissing him since you graduated from UA. Moving your lips against his you felt his hands wandering at your hips and you planted them right on your breasts.

Aizawa getting into the rhythm of you grinding on his lap your pussy lip spreading over this swimming trunks. Shota pulled you up and plopped you outside of the pool, attaching his lips to your neck causing a moan to leave your mouth.

“Fuck. Oh shit.” You mumbled as he sucked the column of your neck. “Please.” You begged not knowing what you are begging for. He pulled his lips away from your neck and got on his knees on the step.

Kissing down your stomach he got to your pussy and went to town. “Fuck baby you’re so wet.” he said against your clit and the vibrations caused you to let out a moan. He continued to lick and a few moments later a added a finger into your sopping hole. “Fuck, yes, yes, yes.” You chanted out.

Going back to your clit he began sucking and fingering you at the same time. “I’m… I am so close. Please don’t stop.” You moaned out. Continuing to suck on your clit, humming now and then you felt yourself let go.

“Fuck, fuck, yes, yes. Daddy I am so close.” You moaned. “Cum for daddy sweetheart, let go for me. Be a good girl.” He growled out continue licking as you came undone. Fingering you throughout your high. All you could see was stars. Your ears ringing as the pleasure started to fade away.

Panting while laying down was all you could do trying to catch your beath. “Wow.” You mumbled into your hand. “Thank you.” You said as you sat back up pulling him back into a kiss.

“Fuck baby girl that was hot.” He muttered in between kisses causing you to giggle going back to kissing him.

Pulling his fingers out of your pussy you inserted them into your mouth. “Oh yeah.” He grinned. “You taste so fucking delicious baby. Could not get enough of you. I think I want it for breakfast every day.” Aizawa said pulling his fingers out of your mouth going back to kissing.

“I wanna taste you daddy.” You mumbled into his mouth. “Next time baby.” He said kissing your neck. “For now I want you back in the pool.” Kissing each breast. “So that I can fuck you properly.” He said taking your nipple into his mouth and pinching the other one. Moaning into your hand all you could do was nod.

As he stood on the pool step his cock was perfectly inline with your mouth. Giggling you take his dick into your mouth and started moving your head up and down. “Shit baby. Fuck your mouth feels so good.” Aizawa moaned out.

Fisting your hair, he started slowing fucking your face a few times before he moved his hand down to your pussy and inserting two fingers and thumbing your clit. You moaned on his cock causing Shota to let your head go. “Fuck baby just like that. You take me so fucking well.” He mumbled as he started getting closer to the edge.

Rubbing your clit with his big hand you couldn’t help but moan from pleasure and a little bit of pain at the over stimulation around his cock again. Aizawa moaned. “Baby I am so close to cumming don’t stop.” He groaned out.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed as he let you not far behind. “Yeah that’s it sweetheart cum for daddy.” He said as he pulled his cock out of your mouth going back to his knees. “Cum for daddy. Cum baby.” He muttered against your clit. Moaning you let go falling flat on your back as the second orgasm of the day hits you full bang. “Fuck daddy, yes, yes, yes.”

Pulling your knees together to keep his hand in place for the pleasure to keeping going, riding out your high. “Fuck. That felt so much better that the first time.” You whispered causing Aizawa to chuckle as you let his hand go.

“Fuck if I wasn’t so tired, I would really suck your cock again. Wow.” You said smiling up at Aizawa who let out a cackle.

“How about we go to your room take a nap then continue round two. How does that sound.” “Fucking fantastic.”

Masterlist | Main Masterlist

[dlnj]

Here we go again…. 🤷‍♀️ I’m really trying so hard to fully accept myself as a girl. Well trans-gender girl but honestly I don’t see a difference , if anything we want to be our true female selves so bad we go thru a lot just to be the girl we all know we are inside. I know for sure that this is me, I am Miranda and there was a mistake made I think in the 3rd trimester ?? Can’t remember when exactly we as humans switch gender from female to male in the womb but anyone born male did in fact change from female . That should not have happened with me and I have always suspected I don’t have a normal testosterone count and have way more estrogen than most men do. It was always hard to grow a beard (which works out now that I accept I’m meant to be a girl, once I start HRT I’m guessing it won’t take much for that to stop , or so I hope anyway ) anyway either way I now know and accept that I am a girl and was always meant to be a girl from birth , I also know that that girl was always never supposed to be potty trained and out of diapers but that’s another story although you all should know that at some point I always accept who I am and live my truth , hence the back and forth in and out of diapers for years til about 9 years ago I decided to not be ashamed and go back into diapers which I did . I can no longer sleep well without a diaper and there are many days where I need them all day long which is fine with me I personally cannot wait til it is mandatory for me to always be diapered no matter who can tell . I was able to accept and act on that part of me which I still find weird but at the same time it feel very right and at this point is very normal for me, the point behind my diaper lover/diaper dependency life style (which I am not alone, check us out online ABDL searched almost anywhere and our large not so well know group of Adult Baby/diaper lovers will come up, we are normal people who just either love being treated like a baby or love being diapered , both or any number of things like that, anyway off topic hey sue me I am a talkative girl) (the point in my ABDL talk) is I was able to accept being strange and into diapers -even have a doctors order for them now kind of brace and accepting , if I can accept that than I think I will be able to accept to myself and become that girl I am inside full time and all the way, complete sex change , top to bottom , in phases , first the counselor , then HRT, then top surgery if I don’t grow my own nice breasts , then I will be able to live as and be a passable woman then while my wife and partner would rather me not do the bottom even though this is who I am and I’m kind of an all in type of girl and I do all the way want to be a girl I do love her and our sex is amazing so while I won’t rule out trading in my penis for a vagina I would hold off for a while to see if she can completely accept me as a woman , maybe one day she will come to me in her own and suggest I do the bottom, and if for what ever reason she leaves me my next phone call would be to the surgeon for my bottom surgery. I promise myself, I promise Miranda I will become her full time and let myself out , I’m so much happier as a girl, so much more comfortable. I will be that cute and sexy transgender woman in that short skirt showing off my cute diaper and tight shirt showing off my breasts and tummy. I can’t wait to be her. In all of my pictures I’m always wearing a diaper and sometimes when I’m feeling like a bad girl I’ll play pretend and handcuff myself every which way, in front like I’m being transported to a woman’s prison and/or behind my back like i was just arrested by some sexy guy/ or perfect lesbian girl ready to take me to jail and have their way with me. I’ll post another picture of me In handcuffs and tell you all the way I’d love to live. Kisses 😘

[onippep]

Is it fine to talk about certain scars now?

................. Which ones. Guessing, for thematic sake, you mean these?

[gestures to his top scars]

I, uh, guess so. Pfft.

So, a little recap-- born in Italy, moved over here when I was 16. Shit happened at 19. Came back when I was 24.

[TW FOR MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, WAR, GENERAL UNPLEASANT QUEER EXPERIENCE STUFF, TRANSPHOBIA + HOMOPHOBIA]

We lived in a super-rural area when I was a kid, so I had no idea what all of that was about. I'd find myself doing things that boys would do and I'd get slapped around for it, or never really liking girls. All my friends were boys. I had a lot of body hair for my age. It was weird to my family.

I got a taste of big-town culture from my cousins and uncles and aunts; they're eccentric, and I'm pretty sure one of my aunts was gay (she never married). I got along with her pretty well, but god, my madre hated her, pretty sure. Haven't seen her in a long time.

Bottom line, I was the "weird kid" of the family, so my parents figured (Also as Italians) to give me a brother and sister, see if they could socialize me properly. Maybe they fucked up the first time. Worth a shot, right?

While my madre was pregnant with my brother, we moved here. Maybe city life would do me good. I was thrust into a highschool barely knowing any English, and naturally flocked to the outcasts and socially awkward weirdos that would get tossed around by bullies and such. It was brutal. I met a girl that disguised herself as a boy and went by a boy's name. I met a boy that had a crush on one of the bigger boys of the school. It was a bunch of new experiences that... for some reason, even with my upbringing, didn't feel foreign or weird. It suddenly aligned with me, and I didn't really think about it until I looked in the mirror one day and wanted to throw up at how I looked. I tried dating a girl I got along with. Being a teenager sucks. That shit hits you like a truck and bleeds like an open wound that you have no idea how to stop.

Not that I had the time to find a way. I did bad in school, got held back a few years, and within that time aggressively took my identity into my own hands-- I'm not who my parents thought I was, I hated my name, I hated them, I hated everything. I got quiet. I hated myself because I wasn't the easy, good-grade getting child that was born loving the body it was in.

One day, my dad gets me alone. He asked me what I wanted to do after High School. I said art. He asked me again. I said art. He said that was the wrong answer. I asked him what he wanted me to say instead.

"If you really don't believe you're a girl, then it's time to be a man."

I thought this had good intentions until I was at the front door of bootcamp with some fresh scars on my chest, a few years of testosterone, and...

[sighs]

...

Uh, what was I-- right.

Right, yeah, I was pretty much fully out a few years after I was... discharged. I had a fling with Anton. A few women. Some men. Tried the bisexual label for a bit but found out I was just a full-on homosexual.

...Did I get the surgery before or-- no, I think I...

[blanks out for a few minutes]

...[scratches his head] I-- sorry, I think I got something mixed up. I think I got top surgery after 'all of that'. Shit's scrambled in here.

...

...Right-- I was a fully out transsexual gay man by... I think I was 35? It wasn't a huge focus of mine though since I wanted to try and start my own business. My family knew hard they fucked up with me so they kept their distance-- I let them know how much they failed me (after many years of thinking I was the screwup). Eventually they started using my new name. It was sudden, and there were no apologies.

I couldn't get my art degree, sssooo... Peppino's Pizza it is. Yippee.

Met Gus a year or so after I opened it, connected with a few of the Italian community on the outskirts of the city, uh... then I...

[pauses again]

--Sorry, this, uh, wasn't a really happy story, but I just. Wanted to say that it was worth keeping myself alive to see myself big, fat, hairy, balding, and smiling in the body I've got now. And happy with the men I've decided to let into my life to love me and this body. It's...

It's something. Better than nothing. I understand that now.

[shipskicksandgiggles]

dialogue prompts

so for those unaware of how my life tends to go, I end up in a lot of situations where I end up saying something weird or people say weird things to me, and I like adapting those things into prompt lists. send whatever ship/character/what have you with a number and we’ll see how this goes

“Did I go too far?” “Did you go too far? I called my husband a cartoon lesbian!”

“You’re throwing candy at him and he doesn’t even have his tits out.” “That’s how he gets a peanut butter cup.”

“Conservative radio? That has to be Rush Limbaugh.” “Fuck Rush Limbaugh!”

“I’m a massive fucking atheist, but it brings me so much joy to picture Nancy Reagan in hell.”

“You’re so small, it’s like your body can’t contain your excitement. It’s really funny to watch actually.”

“Do not use the word ‘curate’ in relation to 80s heavy metal. You picked it. ‘Curate’, fuck off.”

“I think the neighbors got evicted.” “No, really? It’s about time.”

“You’re like the guy, what’s his name, can’t talk to girls?” “I’d be mad if you weren’t totally right.”

“When you were little I thought you might have been autistic.” “When I was little?”

“You have been gone for six hours-” “Hello child.” “Hi dad- more than six hours actually-”

“I almost took the wrong exit and ended up in Canada, so that’s my day.”

“Who has childproof locks on their car doors?” “What?” “I don’t know, I got stuck in the backseat of a car because of childproofing that shouldn’t exist.”

“I feel like your boyfriend can’t cook.” “Why would you think that?” “Because you cook for him sometimes.” “Why would that mean he can’t though?”

“I think my grandpa tried to set me up with his pastor’s son. Stop laughing, this is serious.”

“Why did she hate you?” “No idea, at that point I was just trying to survive middle school.”

“Well, I mean, the waitress was flirting with you.” “The waitress was what now?”

“What kind of cosmic fuck up did you make to result in this kind of karma?” “I don’t know. I’m so tired.”

“What are you, a dog? Stop chewing on that, you absolute child.”

“You’re just boobing all over the place.” “Boobing.”

“Wait, hold on, let me guess. May of whatever year we were in seventh grade in Detroit.” “Yeah actually, what the fuck? That’s so specific, how did you do that?”

“I like that you call information about yourself lore… Wait, did you just say you got hit by a car?” “I love the order you processed that in.”

“Who had them pegged as the bitch with the biggest tits in this apartment? Not me, that’s for sure.”

“Come here, I need you to bless the vodka bottle.” “I don’t believe in Jesus.” “You don’t need to, just come bless the bottle.”

“I’m stealing his daughter and if he’s still being a homophobe I’ll steal his wife too.”

“I broke up with my boyfriend and my therapist fucking cheered.” “I don’t disagree with her.”

“You would suck dick for a crab rangoon.” “Oh for sure.”

“Someone just handed me condoms in a way that seemed like he thought I had the hardware to be able to use them, however I like that I pass as someone who does, so I’ll take it.”

“So you’re like, an expert on the Titanic, right?” “Is this about the submarine?” “Maybe.” “Great, buckle in, you’ve come to the right person.”

“Do you want me to explain bottom surgery to you? Because I think you’re going to get grossed out.” “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” (dear reader, she was, in fact, grossed out)

“You have main character things happen to you while having the attitude of a quirky side character, and I love it.”

“Is that a lemon?” “It’s a cat, but I see where you’re coming from.”

“During pride month? This is homophobia.” “That was loud.” “Good, I hope the homophobe heard.”

“He was like, ‘is your roommate hot?’ and I was like ‘what, yeah, why?’ like who asks that?” “You think I’m hot?”

“So I have a proposition.” “No.” “You don’t even know what it is.” “Yes I do. That one asshole is hitting you up for a booty call. Don’t.” “Bitch.”

“Where are your wisdom teeth?” “Probably in a medical waste container somewhere if they’re still on this plane of existence.”

“I thought he was kidding!” “Who would joke about a turtle?”

“Hey, can someone drive me to the Urgent Care?” “Like now?” “If you’re not busy.”

“Listen. I avoided admitting myself to a hospital for any reason for almost 17 years. Don’t yell at me for not knowing that wasn’t an Urgent Care problem.”

“Whose Rabbi came to the soccer game?”

“Are you fucking colorblind? That’s purple.”

“I got hit on at the grocery store.” “Was he cute?” “He looked greasy.”

“How do you not know who David Bowie is?” “That is the loudest I’ve ever heard you, holy fuck.”

“When I get wine drunk, I get horny.” “We could have a threesome.” “There’s four people here.” “Oh. Foursome then.”

“Hey can I give you a dollar for one of those beanie babies? I need to butcher it for a cat toy.” “Sure?”

“Sit, we need to talk to you about something.” “Remember when you got high a couple weeks ago and had a gender crisis?”

“Are you going to stab me?” “What? Oh, butter knife, sorry.”

“You know when men have that little swoop of hair? The queef?” “Oh my god I’m crying, you mean a quiff.”

“There is a very large bug on my flowers and I don’t want to touch it.” “That’s my cicada, he’s already dead.”

“Dude, I’ve lived with you for like three months, you’re so obviously a switch.”

“Sometimes you say things and I do not question you because they are the most on brand things you could possibly say. Like sure, I’ll buy that you listen to punk music and have a high pain tolerance. That seems right.”

[balladofmyramblings]

The Question of Everyone’s mind:

Does Snow Support Gay Rights? Does The Capitol? What is Their Attitude?

I believe that they support it, but that it’s looked down upon so people wouldn’t flaunt a gay partner the same way they would a straight one, but there aren’t any laws or biases against this. In the districts however, I don’t think it’d be as supportive.

To find all the layers to this, we’re gonna have to go through how the capitol views children. Obviously, expendable, but they want more children. Can’t do that with gay people, which is why they look down on it, but it’s not so many gay people that they should outlaw it and because individual capitol people like to be ignorant (abt possible baby shortage if there’s a lot of gays), they like to believe that it won’t affect them (it doesn’t) so they ignore it if it’s their friends or family. Which is why it isn’t at all outlawed but it’s also not flaunted.

However, if it got to too many of the population, the capitol/snow would probably outlaw it due to the need for children to, yk, continue as a species.

You may be asking yourself why children are important to the capitol, and it’s not a why but more of a how do we know they are? Peeta’s speech.

Peeta talks about how they’re all going to eradicate each other, how the DISTRICTS need to cease fire against the CAPITOL to prevent a dangerously high loss of life. This was in his speech, by the capitol.

Feel like it’s worth mentioning that Panem was formed from America, not exactly known for their treatment of gay people, or trans people, but I think the capitol would see trans people very differently (more on that later).

In the districts, Katniss talks about the expectation to have children. How many people do, how it’s the norm despite the terrible conditions those children will have to live in, and how even victors from other districts choose to have children (knowing their chances of getting reaped are high).

I for sure think the capitol pushes child-having ideals on the district children at an early age, both for the hunger games and again the expanse of Panem. Snow is exactly the type of guy to constantly be worried about us killing off each other (never conquesting outside of Panem, his talk about wasting life).

The districts grow up with the idea that you need to have children, and that you need them even. Gale talks about it, even though he’d never be a good father and doesn’t want them. Katniss knows she’ll have to have them with Peeta (as a victor) and I wonder if that’s not as a role model to the capitol and districts, too. “Look, these victors are having kids, you need to too!” or something along those lines, which is exactly the kind of thing he would do.

The only (99% sure only) openly gay character in the hunger games series is Barb Azure, an outsider. Barb wasn’t raised with that same mindset, and the gal down the road she’s seeing may know this. Lucy Gray mentions that district 12 always looks at them with distrust, and Barb not wanting kids by being gay could be a reason.

Anywho, in conclusion the districts don’t like it but won’t kill you and the capitol tolerates it and is fine with it but it isn’t encouraged.

Post inspired by this anon I got on a different account but wanted to answer here.

Now that that’s cleared up, their view on trans people.

Honestly I don’t think they’d treat them any different, and seeing how common cosmetic surgeries are in the capitol it’d be easy to get top or bottom surgery too. Probably hormones as well.

The districts probably wouldn’t care, but I think they’d make you use your agab due to the readings, but after they’d mostly be supportive.

[sheyshocked]

Baby It’s All Just Chemistry (2/?)

Chapter title: Medic Has the Bloodiest Hands

Summary: Chemist meets the Medic and things go south very quickly.

Fandom: Team Fortress 2

Ship: Scout/Original Female Character (main), Heavy/Medic (minor), RED!Demo/BLU Soldier (minor) - all in later chapters

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, open-heart surgery

A/N:  Me: “I need to look up something about the Cold War, Interpol, and a Berlin Wall for my fic.” My bro: “Eh… and don’t you mind that it takes place in canon where New Zealand sank to the bottom of the ocean, Australians are superheroes with bushy mustaches, and where Tom Jones was killed off twice?” Me: “…I just think it’s neat.”

Previous chapters: 1 |

You can also read it on ao3!

Fate, if there was indeed such a thing, had a strange sense of humor. How else could Chemist explain that not even a week ago, she was waiting on death row, and now? She had a well-paid job, a roof over her head far from the greedy hands of the communist party, and as a bonus from her generous employer, a bunch of guinea pigs to take care of. Sure, most of her new coworkers seemed rather… unusual, but other than that?

It was an odd turn of events, but not an unwelcome one.

Trying to keep up with Spy and his oh-so-long legs was a losing fight. Not nearly as bad as when she walked with Scout, but at least the buck-teethed youth slowed down every now and then to let her catch up with him. Sure, she could have just asked Spy to do the same… but she didn’t want any of those guys to think she was weak right off the bat. They were all trained killers, and from what she had gathered from her talk with Miss Pauling, weren’t half-bad at their job.

Better not to let them think she would make an easy target.

They chatted a lot on their way, both in Czech and in English. It seemed like Spy had a real talent for languages. Any tongue he switched to sounded nearly immaculate if it weren’t for his prominent French accent. It was pretty impressive, to be honest.

She thought her language skills were also nothing to sneeze at – with her Czech, Slovak, English, some German, and Russian (though hell would sooner freeze over before she spoke any of that language). But she was nothing compared to Spy. And it made sense. With his line of work, he must have been to many different countries. Their family trips to Yugoslavia couldn’t compare. But she had left the Iron Curtain behind. She was free to go wherever she wanted once she gets a vacation.

It was a bitter irony now that she could see the world, all she wanted was to go home. She didn’t think she would miss her country all things considered, but she did.

To get rid of all the painful thoughts, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “So… that guy who’s just offered me a drink. Is it even allowed here? I mean, it sounds kinda dangerous, to be drunk on the job.”

Spy gave her a smirk. “Mademoiselle, we’re guns for ‘ire. No one cares what we are doing in our spare time, as long as there isn’t some catastrophic property damage. And you’ll soon find out that Demoman is a very ‘igh functioning drunkard. A sad one, certainly, but gets the job done.”

“Oh, right. Sorry,” she mumbled, feeling kinda silly now. It wasn’t her place to judge anyone here. God knows she had her own problems.

Just to keep the conversation flowing, she asked: “And that lanky fellow, Scout, does he flirt with everything that moves?”

This time, Spy groaned and rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Unfortunately, yes. But don’t worry. The boy is all bark and no bite. Just ignore ‘im and ‘e’ll go away.”

Called it. She knew a lot of guys like that back in her college days. Loud and obnoxious, but overall harmless. As long as it wouldn’t take poisoning his food to make him back off, they would get along just fine.

They went down a long corridor with many doors. Each had a symbol drawn upon them. They were all similar to the one she had on her Mann Co.-issued uniform. Hers depicted a flask with a skull and crossed bones. She rather liked it. It was simple, straight to the point.

Spy led her to the last entrance on the left. It was the only one without a mark. She glanced at the door next to it to get an idea of who was gonna be her neighbor – the symbol there depicted a shoe with wings. That was most likely a reference to Hermes, the messenger of gods. Whoever stayed in that room had to be quick on his feet. Her best tip was the Scout.

Just her luck. She had to bunk right next to the guy who tried to hit on her. Perfect.

Spy was kind enough to open the door for her and she waltzed right in, setting the crate on the ground next to the bed. Finally! She wouldn’t be able to carry it for much longer. She wiped the sweat off her brow and opened the lid with holes to check on the guinea pigs.

As soon as the lid went off, they all started wheeking and running around, thinking they were about to get a treat. Poor guys. The journey here was a long one and the heat nearly unbearable, but thank god, all six of them made it in a good health.

“Ugh, what’s that?” Spy scoffed, a disgusted sneer on his face. What, did he not like animals?

“My guinea pigs! To run experiments on and such.” Technically not a lie. She did get them for work. So what that she wouldn’t use them for their original purpose?

Spy didn’t seem to approve either way. “Just make sure they won’t escape their containment. I would ‘ate to ‘ave vermin running through my closet.”

“There are far worse things you could have there, you know?” she rolled her eyes. It was a little disheartening. She was hoping some of her teammates would share her enthusiasm for small rodents. But then again, looking at Spy’s neat suit, it was no wonder he didn’t. Fancy people rarely appreciated pets.

His loss.

“But don’t worry,” she reassured him. “They will get a proper cage soon. No escape attempts.”

She started rummaging through her large backpack. There should be a few carrots prepared for her little charges. Hm, but where were they now?

She brushed away her gas mask and a case with her reading glasses until her fingers closed around a pack of vegetables. Excellent.

She glanced back at Spy, who was watching her with a keen eye. “Please, is there a sink somewhere? I need to clean these and refill their water bottle.”

“Stay away from the sinks if you can. The tap water in the whole town is full of lead – that’s why we left some bottled water by your bedside.”

That made her perk up. “Lead? But that’s amazing! I haven’t studied severe lead poisoning in… well, ever! Tell me, has anyone tried it yet?”

Spy looked weirded out at first, but that was fine. Most people did. She was used to it by now. Her methods may be unorthodox, but no one could deny they were damn effective.

Just not always the way she intended.

“You might want to ask Soldier. I ‘ave a feeling ‘e didn’t get the memo.”

She grinned. “I will ask him! Thanks.” Her gaze shifted back to her guinea pigs. They were getting impatient now, climbing one another to try and get out of the box. “Oh, but I have to remember to give piggies only the bottled water. Lead might be too much for their little organisms, poor things.”

Well, she should get down to business.

As she was taking care of her pets, humming a soft tune while doing so, Spy was watching her with his piercing gaze. It made her nervous as all hell.

No way I’m gonna unpack my things in front of him, she thought solemnly.

“There, all done,” she turned to face him once again, trying to appear more stoic than she felt. Only then she realized she was fidgeting with her hands like some damn schoolgirl. Drat! So much so for trying to seem tough. “Eh, you said you need to take me to the Medic’s office for a check-up, right? How about we go now?”

Thank god he didn’t comment on her unease, even though he had to see it clear as day. Instead, he accommodated her, saying: “Of course. Follow me.”

He gave her a quick tour through the entire base, showing her all the important places – shooting range, laundry room, Engie’s workshop, rec room as well as the showers. That last one gave her a pause.

It reminded her of her prison experience. No booths, no privacy, nothing. Just a bunch of ugly shower heads sticking from the walls. At least the tiles looked somewhat clean, but that set the bar pretty low.

Bloody hell. Off to a great start.

“I guess you don’t have a women’s bathroom here, right?”

It wouldn’t make much sense, since she had yet to see another woman on the base, but hey. Hope dies last.

“Non.”

…Hope died in the vanguard.

“But that’s quite easy to fix. We can always create a schedule, so you won’t ‘ave to share with the others.”

Well, it was far from ideal, but it was something. Either way, she was glad Spy was so considerate. He could also tell her to suck it up, that she is now a mercenary first and woman second, but something told her he also wasn’t fond of communal showers. Had to be that balaclava of his. The air of secrecy around him.

Did he ever take it off in front of the others?

“Thanks, that sounds great.” She paused for a few seconds, squinting at the door. There was no lock on it. “And they won’t peek or anything while I’m in here?”

Spy honest to god chuckled. “I doubt it. We may be the scum of society, Mademoiselle, but we would never ‘arass a teammate like that. But if someone does? You ‘ave every right to shoot them right between the eyes.”

Finally, they turned around the corner and went to the Medic’s domain. Spy stopped right in front of the door with a big red cross on it and lit himself a cigarette. Then, he turned towards Chemist. “I’ll ‘ave to leave you now, I still ‘ave other business to attend to. It was a pleasure meeting you, Chemist. Au revoir.”

With that, he pressed a button on his watch and disappeared into a thick cloud of smoke. Some of it got stuck in her nose and made her sneeze. Woah, what the hell was that? Her eyes darted around in a desperate attempt to find him, but no luck. Wonderful. A man who could become invisible on a whim had to be a pain in the neck on the battlefield.

But the clock was ticking. She better get this over with and see the Medic.

It would be rude to enter without knocking, she thought, so she first rapped her knuckles on the door. No response. She heard faint music through the wood (it sounded like Beethoven, but she couldn’t be quite sure), so he was definitively in there. Just didn’t hear her. She tried once more, but with the same results. That’s when she threw her politeness aside and simply invited herself in.

Unfortunately, she ran into a tall dark-haired man who looked like he was about to exit the clinic. He nearly dropped the folder of papers he was carrying. “Ah, entschuldigung, Mädchen! I haven’t heard you come in!”

Oh. So their doctor was German. And a handsome one, too. Not that it mattered or anything! It just caught her off guard. She wasn’t expecting so many fellow Europeans on the team. It made her feel a little more at home.

“No, no, I apologize, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have barged in like this when you didn’t hear me knocking the first time. Anyway,” she pushed a hand in between them for him to shake, but she did it so clumsily that she nearly punched him in the stomach. “I’m Chemist, your new coworker. Nice to meet you, sir…”

Amazing, she had to roll her eyes at her own antics and chuckled nervously in an attempt to save her face. As if anything could save after this horrible display. Are you gonna twirl your hair in front of him like some dumb teenager too? Pull your act together!

Thank god the good doctor didn’t make a meal out of it. He even giggled – did she hear that right, did he really giggle? – before shaking her hand. Much like Engie, he had a nice, steady grip.

“Medic, at your service.” He bowed to her, which made her chuckle a little. It was so silly and charming at the same time. No one has ever done this to her before. “Tell me, have you seen Heavy around? I was waiting for him to stop by, but he still hasn’t shown up.”

Her face fell. “The big guy? Sure. He was in the cafeteria.”

“That does sound like him,” the doctor chuckled while fondly rolling his eyes. “He gets so distracted by his sandwiches he forgets all about time. But nevermind. Let me look at you.”

Once she nodded, he started studying her features with rapt attention. He even circled her a few times, raising her arm as if he were testing her joints. Odd, but she let him do whatever he had to do. In the end, he gave her a toothy wolf-like grin.

“You seem to have a perfect bone structure. That’s wunderbar! At least you’ll be able to take quite a few punches before collapsing.”

“Um, thanks…?”

“A mere observation, Fräulein. Don’t worry about it.” A sinister smile found its way onto his face. No matter how handsome he was, it was still creepy as hell. It wasn’t enough to make her reconsider all of her life choices that led her here, but it was still pretty damn close. “You are also just the right size for me to use that Loch Ness monster’s heart I’ve been saving for special occasions. What a lucky day!”

…Okay, this was weird. What was he even talking about? A Loch Ness monster’s heart? Unfortunately, before she could ask what did he mean, he ushered her deeper into the room, showing her an empty chair to sit on. “But first let’s start with your examination, ja? Take a seat, please. I will be right back.”

Too late to run, she obeyed, looking around so she could figure out an escape route, in case something went amiss. Not that she believed it would, it was just better to be prepared. Being hunted down by the police taught her that.

The room was large, probably fit to serve as a surgical theatre in need, and cramped with all sorts of medical equipment. The first thing that caught her attention was the huge examination table standing right innocuously in the middle. There was some sort of an… instrument? hanging above it. It looked like a homemade gun, but not quite. Hm, what purpose could it possibly serve?

She also noticed an old record player, the one she heard playing before she entered the clinic, lots of buckets for some reason, a fridge (for snacks?), and… wait. What was that noise?

First, she heard a soft fluttering of multiple wings, then, cooing. She looked up and noticed a flock of snow-white birds, just hanging around. One with suspiciously dirty feathers flew down and sat on Medic’s shoulder, who immediately started petting him and crooning at him. Such an adorable view. It took her almost embarrassingly long to realize there were living birds inside the infirmary, which should have high hygienic standards.

“You have doves here?”

Medic snapped his head around as if he only now remembered she was waiting there. “Oh, ja. Miss Pauling ordered me to keep them in a cage after the last incident, but they always seem to find a way to break out and free themselves. Isn’t that right, Archimedes?”

He gently ruffled the feathers of the dirty dove sitting on his shoulder, who gave him an agreeable coo in return. Wait. The bird’s name was Archimedes? Aww. Now that she thought about it, she still had to name her guinea pigs.

“They are cute. Can I pet one?”

This seemed to take Medic by surprise, but after giving it some thought, he shrugged, nearly shaking poor Archimedes off. “Hm, I don’t see why not. Just be careful. They have very sharp beaks.”

He picked some basic medical instruments like a stethoscope and that thing for measuring blood pressure (with that horrible long name in English she could never memorize) and walked back towards her with Archimedes ready on his arm. The little bird was watching her with his tiny bead-like eyes. But once she reached for him, he let out a screech and flew away.

“Archimedes, that’s rude! Sorry, Fräulein, he’s a little bit shy around new people. Give him time. In the meantime, we can proceed with your check-up, hm?”

She nodded with a slight pout. She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed Archimedes didn’t take a liking to her immediately. But then again, Medic was right – pets took a lot of time to warm up to a person. Besides, she had more pressing matters to worry about right now.

The examination was pretty standard – some measuring of weight and height as well as blood pressure. The good doctor listened to her heart, took a sample of her blood (probably more than was needed, but hey, she wasn’t complaining), and asked some simple if a bit uncomfortable questions. The usual stuff.

In the end, he seemed quite pleased with the results, which made her feel oddly proud. Like she just got a good mark from her favorite college professor. Completely normal.

But then it took a sharp turn.

“All right, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, except for the slight arrhythmia. That means it’s time for the surgery!” he flashed her that grin from ear to ear again. “Strip down to the waist and lie down on the examination table, bitte.”

WHAT?!

It happened so fast, her brain had trouble catching up. Confusion and concern in equal measure flooded her mind. And everything became much worse when she saw the scary-looking bone saw he pulled out from somewhere.

“Wait, hold on!” she choked up, her throat feeling way too constricted to talk normally. “You said everything was fine, so what kind of surgery are you talking about?!”

He arched one eyebrow at her, puzzled. As if she was the one who was acting unreasonably, and not him. “You haven’t read the contract?”

Can’t say she did. Not the entire thing. It’s hard to pay attention when you are on the run from jail. The only condition she read thoroughly was that any relationships between the two teams were strictly forbidden, but that didn’t make much sense to her back then. So she frantically shook her head, which made Medic frown.

The only thing scarier than his smiles was his dissatisfied face.

“One of the requirements for this job is open-heart surgery. In short, I’m gonna replace your heart, so it won’t explode inside your ribcage when I use my übercharge on you. Any questions before we get on with it?”

Oh Lord. She was gonna die here, wasn’t she?

But not without a fight.

There was a scalpel lying on the table right next to her arm. It wouldn’t be her weapon of choice under any circumstances, but right now it was her best shot. Her hand shook so badly when she grabbed it. Without thinking twice, she struck blindly in the general direction of the madman.

A sharp hiss told her she haven’t missed.

She opened her eyes only to see a nasty, bleeding scar on one of Medic’s sharp cheeks. There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes. She wasn’t gonna stand around and wait for him to strike back.

Before he could grab her and probably slam her on the table like a disobedient cat, she slipped right underneath his arm (advantage of being this short, she mused) and ran for the door. Thank god it wasn’t that far.

She reached for the handle, pressed it… and got nothing. The door was stuck. Damn it! This was like a prom night all over again. A living nightmare. Did he lock the door when she wasn’t looking?! Cold sweat ran down her forehead as she started pulling it about with all her weight, praying it would open. But it didn’t.

Well, she was positively screwed.

By now, he had enough time to get to her. He didn’t, though. Why? Afraid of what she was about to see, she glanced over her shoulder, the scalpel still in her hand, prepared to go for the throat if necessary, and was taken by surprise when she spotted Medic at the same place where she had left him, one finger stuck in the air as if he wanted to say something and was rudely interrupted.

The sheer bizarreness of the situation made her stop right in her tracks and stare at him owlishly, waiting for what he was about to do. She regretted not having her chemicals here. Even a stupid chlorine would do.

“Fräulein? Don’t try to force the door open, you’ll only make it worse. It gets jammed quite frequently. Now, calm down, it’s only a minor procedure, we all went through with it, even Herr Scout, so stop being such a baby and hop on the table. I won’t ask again.”

“Open-heart surgery, a minor procedure?!” she sputtered. “In what universe?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “In this one. You’ll see. So, what will it be? Do I have to restrain you or will you behave?”

This was so messed up, but something told her that undergoing it tied down to the table would be much worse, so she decided to obey, at least until she gets another opportunity to run. She climbed on the operating table and took off her lab coat, shirt, and after some hesitation, her bra. Heh, and to think Medic seeing her breasts became the least of her problems right now…

The doctor turned his back towards her, maybe to give her some semblance of privacy or, and that was the most likely option, to ready his instruments. There was her chance. She could knock him out and make a run for it.

Unfortunately, before she could grab something heavy, Medic turned towards her with a sadistic smirk on his face. Shit. Too late now.

“Are you at least going to give me anesthesia?”

Medic looked at her as if she grew a second head. Surely he couldn’t mean… “Nein, nein, that would be a waste. You won’t feel a thing anyway.”

Jesus Christ. She felt her heart beating so fast it could break her ribs and march out of her chest on its own. No need for surgery. Any second now, she was going to faint. Maybe that’s what Medic meant when he argued she won’t need any anesthesia. But then he turned the odd gun-like thing hanging above her on. She was immediately flooded with a strange tingling sensation.

“What’s that?”

“This? Oh, that’s just Quick-fix. It instantly heals you, so you won’t bleed out. Feels good, ja?”

“I don’t know. It’s… odd.”

The mad doctor leaned his head down in front of the scarlet fumes and turned his still-bleeding cheek towards it. A few seconds after that, the wound healed itself, not even leaving a scar behind. Chemist choked up on her saliva. What sorcery was this?! Well, not sorcery, everything had to have a scientific explanation, she just couldn’t find one right now.

“Woah! Doctor, what’s in those fumes? It’s not nitrous oxide, is it? I was trying to make something like this all my life and…”

Medic smirked. “Curious little thing, aren’t you? You know what, I might as well tell you if you stop squirming and let me do my job. Do we have a deal?”

“Deal!” With interest piqued, she ceased wiggling around and observed what was happening.

Having her chest split open with a scalpel was far from a pleasant sight, but she had to admit it didn’t hurt. Not even a little bit. Despite chattering and tittering the entire time, Medic worked fast and his hand was steady.

“Where are you from, Chemist? I’m from Stuttgart myself, but I’ve been quite the globetrotter, so I’m wondering if we’ve ever crossed paths before.”

She sincerely doubted it. She has never been to Germany, and even if, Stuttgart was “on the other side of the Berlin Wall”. Off-limits for people like her. “Perhaps. I’ve lived and studied in Prague.”

Medic’s face suddenly lit up. “Ah, Prague. Wonderful city. I spent some time there when I was younger. But then Interpol caught a whiff of my trail and I had to move again.”

“Wait. You’ve been searched for by Interpol?!”

“Ah heh, ja. It’s a little bit embarrassing. Happened shortly after I lost my medical license. Now now, stop hyperventilating, bitte. You’re spoiling my cuts.”

Easy for him to say. He didn’t have a man operating on him without a license. But then again, perhaps she should have been more surprised he had one in the first place. Everything about this was screaming malpractice. Even though she couldn’t deny he showed a lot of skill and precision while baring her organs underneath the skin and bones.

It took a while, but finally, her chest was wide open. At first, she tried to avoid looking at her innards, simply because it was too weird – and that was coming from a person who willingly joined a bunch of deranged mercenaries – but then Medic let out a fascinated whistle. She had to see what was going on. So she glanced down… and yelped.

When did her organs become so dark and shriveled? Her heart looked like an ugly little prune, liver resembled stone. Some other parts she couldn’t even recognize. Gross! How did this happen? And what did it even mean? Was she gonna die at the ripe age of twenty-three?

“Uh… this is not supposed to look like this, is it?” she asked, her voice getting an octave higher with hysteria. The piece of charcoal she called a heart immediately started pumping more blood into her body, preparing her for fight or flight. But what was she hoping to escape? Her own mangled guts?

Medic once again pushed his glasses up his nose, careful not to smudge them with her blood, which was still red and healthy-looking, thank god. Only then it came to her that he wasn’t wearing his gloves. How hygienic. Maybe sepsis would get her sooner than this madness.

“Ooh, fascinating! I’ve never seen so much damage in one body before.” Was that supposed to calm her down?! “I would have to run some tests to be sure what caused it, but given your line of profession… have you ever been poisoned, Chemist?”

That’s when it finally clicked. Oh. She gave him a tight little nod.

“Thought so. That had to be one hell of a toxin. I’m impressed you’re even alive.”

Despite everything, she forced a smug smile. “Thanks. It was my own recipe.”

“I see. Have you always had suicidal tendencies?”

“What? No, it wasn’t… it was an experiment gone wrong. I was testing a new solution and the next thing I remember, I woke up in a hospital. It’s simple as that.”

She never liked to talk about it. Not only because it was embarrassing, but also because no one ever understood. Not even her sister. Or dad. They all thought she was sick in the head. Poor little girl, playing with bad things hoping they would do any good. Bah! But Medic, he got it. She saw it in his eyes. That mad spark. His smile full of teeth.

“Splendid. A woman of science who’s also not afraid of experimentation. Though I would recommend using willing test subjects next time, rather than delving into it yourself. The results are more reliable, then. Much more satisfying, too.”

“Perhaps. But I kinda like it my way.” She was hoping he would leave it at that, and he did. With agreeable harumph, he went back to work.

“I’ll have to replace most of this, but don’t worry – you’ll soon be as good as new. Maybe even better.” His eyes shifted toward the mysterious fridge. So no snacks then. Shame. “Hm, now that I think about it, I don’t have any fresh livers at the moment. I used the last one on Herr Demoman. Ah, doesn’t matter. I’ll send Miss Pauling a request, it’ll just take a while. Come back later this week and we’ll get you all set up before your first real battle, ja?”

“All right. Thanks, doctor.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s my job. And also a hobby.”

He started digging around in her chest, cutting free the sad excuse of organs one by one and replacing them for more healthy-looking counterparts (she couldn’t help but notice he stuck some strange metal device in her new heart. Hopefully it was no self-destructive gizmo or something equally bad). She quickly lost track of time. It was taking soooo long. Even though Medic tried to humor her by talking to her, she still grew bored fairly quickly. She wasn’t used to just lay on her back, doing nothing. Solving equations in her head only helped so much.

She was just about to ask how much longer will it take, when Medic wiped the sweat off his brow and said: “All right, all done for now.”

He flipped the switch on the Quick-fix and… Woah! A gasp was punched straight out of her lungs as her flesh and bones started mending themselves right in front of her eyes. Just like that. It was done faster than it began, and Chemist immediately pawed at her chest, trying to find any proof she was operated on but found none. Not even a slight dent. If it didn’t go against everything she believed in, she would say it was a miracle.

Medic handed her her lab coat, so she quickly covered herself, then sat at the edge of the table and with stars in her eyes breathed out: “Doctor, that was amazing! I really didn’t feel a thing! Now you have to tell me everything about those fumes.”

He laughed before indulging her.

***

She spent another hour or so at the Medic’s office, just chatting about his greatest invention, but then Heavy showed up and she had to go. Maybe it was for the best. No offense, but she didn’t want to spend more time than she necessarily had to with some big scary Russian guy. Not after what happened back home.

Besides, the doctor seemed eager to shoo her away as soon as the other member of the team turned up. Pity. Or not. She still had no idea what to think of him. On one hand, he was extremely intelligent and seemed to know what he was doing. On the other, he was unhinged with no regard for ethics or morals. The duality of a man.

Well, it ended up way better than she expected. Which wasn’t saying much, since she thought she was going to be slaughtered and made into čevabčiči, but that wasn’t the point.

She whistled on her way back to her room. She felt so much lighter now. It better not be because the doctor forgot to put something essential back in, she shuddered at the thought, but she quickly put it behind herself. She was fine. Everything would be just fine.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she leaned against its frame, letting out a big sigh. Finally alone. Now she could look around, take it all in and unpack her things.

The room was small and very plain with only a simple bed, a small table and a wardrobe, a telephone, and the crate currently occupied by guinea pigs. Nothing special, but as a student, she survived worse. She grabbed her backpack and started unpacking.

She had just prepared clothes and her mask for tomorrow’s training when the phone started ringing. Odd. She wasn’t expecting a call. The only people she knew were still trapped in the old continent, so it could be only her boss. She picked it up and was greeted by Miss Pauling’s warm voice: “Chemist, it’s Pauling here. I got you the bag and all the chemicals you requested. I will drop by tomorrow and bring it to you.”

“So soon? Well, thank you, Miss. I was worried I was asking for too much, but it seems like you have it all covered, huh?”

“You bet,” Miss Pauling chuckled. “You’re welcome, by the way. Anyway, how did meeting the team go? I know they can be a bit too much, but you’ll soon get used to it, trust me.”

She chuckled. That was an understatement of the year, but she would take it. “It was fine. They were all very nice, all things considered. It’s just a lot to take in, I guess.”

“I know what you mean. Take your time. You’ll see it gets better.” A pause. Then: “Oh, and one more thing – I’ll have to speak with you in private once I see you. It’s about your sister.”

That made Chemist straighten up, hope filling her voice as she croaked out: “My sister? Have you found her? Is she… is she all right? Please tell me she’s all right.”

She heard a rustle on the other side, followed by a sigh. “I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you more right now. I promise I’ll explain when we meet again. Until then… goodnight, Chemist. Try to get some sleep. It’s a big day tomorrow.”

Disappointed, Chemist sank on her bed, the telephone still in her hand. Her only luck was that the wire was long enough so she could lie down without having to cut the call. “I see. Well, it was worth a shot. Goodnight, Miss Pauling. And thanks again. For everything.”

The call ended with a sheepish noise coming from the other end. Chemist held the phone receiver to her chest long after the sound of Miss Pauling’s voice was gone. She was the bravest, most badass woman she had ever met. She singlehandedly led her out of jail and smuggled her out of the country. If anyone could save Marie, it was her. She just had to be patient. Do her job, fight tooth and nail and wait. She could do that.

She stole one last long look at the picture now sitting on her bedside table before she went to undress and slip under the covers.

Hopefully, tomorrow would bring good things.

***

Translations and context: Spy: Au revoir – goodbye Medic: Entschuldigung, Mädchen – sorry, girl Medic: That’s wunderbar – That’s wonderful Medic: Fräulein – Miss Medic: Bitte – please

“family trips to Yugoslavia” – Yugoslavia was one of the few countries people from Czechoslovakia could visit (but getting permission to travel there wasn’t easy and usually part of the family had to stay, so those who went wouldn’t be tempted to emigrate). It was much easier to travel to Bulgaria, Hungary, Romania, or East Germany, but Yugoslavia remained one of the most popular. “nitrous oxide” – commonly known as a “laughing gas”, it has anesthetic and pain-reducing effects “Berlin wall” – also called “Wall of Shame” by the western authorities and “Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart” by the eastern ones, was built in 1961 (seven years before this story takes place) to separate West Germany from the East. East Berliners weren’t allowed to cross the border at all and risked being gunned down if they tried to escape “Interpol” – International Criminal Police Organization, founded on 7th September 1923 in Vienna under the name International Criminal Police Commission (ICPC), it got its name in 1956 (so only twelve years before the story of TF2 takes place; Medic would probably use the older name, but for the sake of clarity, I used the “newer” one) “čevabčiči” – common food made from minced meat served in many restaurants during the socialist era (but still popular to this day)

[helloyesitstwig]

Death note oneshot: Intuition (Lawlight)

Warning:::: contains allusions/references to pregnancy, pregnant trans character, slightly OOC Light (for the better) Some language and a blatant disregard for canon.

Plot: Ryuk has a special talent that he's never told Light about.

((This oneshot is a part of a series. All context regarding said plot will start coming in as bits and pieces. For now, enjoy this and hold your questions until later on.))

"Boy, things sure were tense in there today, huh Ryuk?" 

Light laid back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he released an elongated sigh. Ryuk stood in the corner of his room, calmly munching on an apple. 

"Certainly seemed like something had gotten into L today, I'll say. Or maybe I should say..  Someone. Hehehe." 

"Gross, Ryuk. I told you to stop talking about that. We were both just… we were very tense that night and… Look, the bottom line is that it didn't mean anything."

"If sleeping with L that night was such an impulsive endeavour, then you'd think that you would have been a bit more careful." Ryuk smugly replied. 

"What do you mean? No one would have ever thought to have found us there. It was the perfect hiding spot."

"I wasn't talking about that." Ryuk hissed "I was referring to the fact that you didn't wear a condom." 

Light froze a bit, balling his hands into fists. 

"I… it'll be fine. I'm sure of it. A-after all, surely L is on birth control!" 

"That's not a wise assumption to make." Ryuk chuckled. "Say…Would you like to learn a little shinigami fun fact?"

Light scoffed at his words. "If it'll cheer me up." 

"Oh you'll find this one really interesting. See, one of the benefits of having the shinigami eyes is that we are able to look at someone and sense certain little things about them: If they are very sick, if they've had surgery done, and most interestingly… We can see if somebody's pregnant." 

"How's that possible?"

"It's a mystery to me. Personally I don't see what good it does for us. Pregnancy is the exact opposite of what we deal with and we can't detect a lifespan until the baby is born into the world. We use it for fun, mainly." 

Light just took in Ryuk's words, nodding his head. 

"Is this going anywhere, Ryuk?"

"Oh alright, I'll just get to the point." Ryuk sulked. "Your dear friend L… I can sense that he is with child." 

Light nearly choked as he shot upright from his bed. 

"W- Are you saying that I'm the father?!"

"Well I can't think of anyone else that could be responsible for getting him pregnant. Except maybe your father. Hehehe." 

"Don't talk about my dad that way." 

"What are you gonna do? Hit me?" Ryuk chuckled.

"I can stop giving you apples." 

"H… I'll be good." 

Light sighed and put his head in his hands. "Damn it…Now what am I supposed to do? What if he wants to keep it?!"

"I don't make suggestions like these often, but last I checked, there's no explicit rule in the death note that states that you can't write a person's name while they're pregnant. Of course… it's been a while since I checked." Ryuk offered.

Light just shook his head, leaning his forehead against the desk. "No… I..  I can't kill L." 

"Well that's a surprising claim coming from you. I guess that little night of passion in the abandoned warehouse really did mean something." 

"Shut up." The young man mumbled. "So… Now what? I can't necessarily confront L about this without telling him how I know. I guess I'll just have to wait for him to tell me himself."

"That should be really… Interesting. Hehehe." 

~~~

The next day, Light made his way down to headquarters, sucking in a deep breath as he stood at the door.

"Alright, I just gotta be calm about this." Light sighed. "There's no way I can predict how this is going to map out. I just gotta nod my head and act like everything's fine.

He had spent the previous night working out every possible scenario in his head: Whether or not L would want to keep it, if he was going to be angry/emotional about it; he even tried to work through the possibility of L not even telling him anything. Maybe Ryuk was just messing with him? Guy was really not all that reliable when it came to certain things.

All thoughts in Light's head were abruptly cut off by the sound of Misa's loud delighted squealing. She was standing in front of him with L sheepishly lingering behind her. It was as if she had been anticipating him this whole time. 

"Light, welcome back! Ryuzaki has something very special he'd like to tell you!" 

Oh fuck. Here it was. 

"Misa, I'm still not sure I even know how to inform him of this." L sulked, lazily rubbing at his eye.

"Oh relax, Ryuzaki." Misa tutted. "I'm sure it won't be that hard to tell him." 

"Tell me what, exactly?" Light played along, although his heart was absolutely pounding in his chest.

"Light, I… We… I'm going to have your baby." 

Misa was squealing and doing her little happy dance. Ryuk was losing his shit. 

"Hehhehe! Well I guess he didn't waste any time letting you know the news." The shinigami guffawed. "Now then… Aren't you going to implement your plan now, Light?... Light?" 

It was at that exact moment that Light Yagami collapsed to the floor. Misa screamed and L lunged forward to reach for Light. 

"L-Light? Are you alright?!" The detective stammered.

Meanwhile Ryuk just stood there and watched, snorting a bit.

"Hm. Interesting strategy. You know, you humans really never fail to amuse me." 

[polyhexianchicken]

"- but despite your current state, otherwise, suprisingly healthy."

"Really though Whirl, this didn't just happen from one day to the next, surely your tank would've given you warnings months before it got this bad, didn't it?"

"....I ignored 'em." Whirl admitted with a heavy sigh, feeling quite cramped in this small medical office, seated on the edge of the examination berth, optic not quite looking at the frightningly tall Seeker that was the medic doing his check-up today. He still can't believe the mech wanted to become a medic with a name like 'Bonestrike'?!

Anyway. He's getting distracted and zoning out again, which is apparantly making the pastel purple medic worried. "Whirl..." Oh how he hates that tone, it's that stupid convoluted pitiful tone that only seems to be used on Whirl. And he hates it, did he already say that?

"I know.. your history hasn't given you the best light with medics but if you would check out problems sooner, we wouldn't be here, and your tank wouldn't reach it's breaking point of turning septic. Your Engex intake, while yes it supplies the energy your frame needs, isn't the best to solely consume. You drink more Engex in one day than the higher average does in a month! Frankly, looking at the scans I'm pretty sure it should've ruptured from the acidic burns at the bottom weeks ago. You're seriously lucked out that your frame is bizzarely sturdy. Injuries and problem's that you're currently dealing with would have most mechs dead!"

Primus. This is exactly why he doesn't go to medics, he can't stand these lectures.

"There's also an entire different story with your joints and frame in general, while your knowledge is employeable, your self-patching- up hasn't exactly been top notch... but, you can still function normally with these in place for the moment, so those will be discussed next time."

The medic can see Whirl is doing is damn best to not listen to him, so he taps Whirl's knee to get the copter mech to focus on him.

"I am graciously not instantly signing you up for surgical correction after your request.. but only if it'll correct itself."

Whirl let out a small chuff of relief at that, tensing his thighs and letting them hang loosely again as he shifts in his seated position, looking up again, since it seems like Bonestrike is finally wrapping it up.

"You really ought to be more careful though. Your frame is showing signs of recent injuries, and while yes, your frame is sturdy, I fear a substantial amount of force to your general chassis area could very well bend it and make your spark chamber snap from an cave-in. Try to be careful, will you?"

"Mh. I'll try."

"Also, to bring down the acidic levels, refrain from consuming more than one cube of light grade engex per cycle-"

"Per cycle?!" Oh, oh no this won't do. Whirl stands up, arms angling outwards as if preparing for a fight, to which the medic simply responds by firmly, yet still with a gentle touch, pushing him back down with a splayed servo. He.. he can't believe this. One cube per cycle? Engex was his sole enjoyment of consuming at all! Engex was the only thing that gave him any other sense of feeling something different such as the pleasant warmth and buzz overcharge could bring- and now he's supposed to cut down to one?! That'll do nothing for him!

"No, no, you don't understand, I can't- This is unfair I can't just cut down in an instant are you out of your god damn fragging MIND-"

"If you don't then you'll risk your tank either exploding or rupturing, and then you'll be put under for surgery and a replacement wether you like it or not, Whirl."

"..." That silences his rant, stopping him from pushing the winged mech backwards, simply staring at him with an eerie silence, optic burning daggers into the other.

"It's either cutting back, or surgery. It's your choice."

"...Hrgh. Fine. For how long?"

"I don't know. Since this a case unlike any other, I can't predict anything. You'll have to come back in 2 weeks to check if there was any improvement at all."

A defeated sigh, and Whirl knocks his claw against the top of his helm in rapid succession, a motion he's learnt to do where he used to be able to pinch his nosebridge. "Frag sake I hate this- Fine! Fine, I concurr, I'll try to lay low and.. not fight, or drink... for now."

"That's all I ask of you, truly...If you need help, we do have offers of supporting chari-"

"No. I can do this by myself." A pause. "Thanks though."

"Are you sure...? You certainly don't seem happy with anything-"

"It's a frag ton to process, alright? I'll manage, just you wait- I can hold back on everything!"

"...If you're sure.. I'm still sending you the infopamphlets just in case." The medic leans forward to undock his diagnostical cables from the side of Whirl's cockpit, the cables snaking back in an instant.

"Alright, I've sent you everything, including instructions on what activities not to do and what to consume for the time being. Please organise a follow-up Check-Up at the receptiondesk."

"Mh. M'kay. Thanks.. Bonestrike."

"See you in two weeks, Whirl. Please take care."

[blueikeproductions]

Night time at Sherwood, Dan is hanging out on the old, now even more duck taped, family couch in his sleep clothes, some striped sleep pants and a No Pain, No Gain Garfield t-shirt, watching TV. His folks are in bed, and Liam tucked away in his crib peacefully, but he hears JD coming in from outside in the kitchen. Dan’s left bicep is still bandaged from when JD shot him in the arm from the boiler room incident the other day, and he touches it gingerly as JD walks into the room in his own sleep clothes, a McDonalds Mac Tonight tee and shorts, carrying two Slushees. The formally troubled youth sits next to his best friend and hands him one of the drinks.

JD: Couldn’t sleep either, huh?

Dan: -takes the drink and places it against his wounded bicep- Nah. Just the whole experience kinda … catching up to me. Not every day you save the school. Not since Hawkins anyway. -takes a sip and keeps putting the cold drink against his arm-

JD: -sipping but looks sad, watching Dan icing his arm- …Y’know I never got around to thanking you and Veronica… For what you guys did. If I didn’t have you guys, I’d be dead by my own hands by now.

Dan: -half smiles- Is that where you’ve been? Making “amends” with Ronnie? -playfully elbows JD-

JD: Oooooh something to that effect. I was on my hands and knees- don’t give me that look, not like THAT, Danny-boy…! We’re… still working on stuff. -taps his cup with his index finger- But yeah, I think despite it all, Veronica an’ me have a future. Buyin’ summer clothes, playin’ poker, campin’ all that fun couples stuff.

Dan: What about hunting college jocks? -

JD: College… Can’t say I’ve given the matter much thought. Truth be told I figured I’d be stuck on Bud’s tight leash forever…

-Both are silent for a bit, just watching TV-

JD: …What is this anyway? Doogie Houser? I didn’t know you liked this.

Dan: -sips- I have other interests besides cartoons and comics. Doogie’s ok, but Sledge Hammer’s on next, that’s more your speed, Jason.

JD: -glances at Dan still nursing his arm with his slushee- Nah this is fine. -side eyes Dan and looks at Doogie doing a bypass surgery- …Maybe I’ll become a doctor.

Dan: Huh?

JD: Yeah! Put my mind towards something more constructive than demolition! Plus there’s the sheer thrill of getting to decide who lives or dies in a medical sense, heheheh. -makes a silly slashing motion with his thumb across his neck-

Dan: -just gives a tired but slightly amused look at him- There it is…

JD: Aw don’t worry, Danny-boy, if you wind up in my operating table, I’ll make sure you live! -instinctively pats Dan on the arm, but pats him on his injured arm by mistake-

Dan: -winces and slightly recoils in pain, drops his Slushee, though by sheer luck it lands on its bottom and didn’t spill-

JD: Aw shit! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Oh man… -thinks back to him as Shadow JD, aiming the gun at Dan and Veronica in anger and confusion- -more quietly- I’m sorry…

Dan: -composes himself- It’s ok, Jason. I figured I’d take a bullet for you at some point, I admit didn’t quite expect it THIS way, but it worked out! -smiles-

JD: -slumps back in the couch- I almost killed you and Veronica… I almost killed ALL of us… How can either of you still want to be around me…

Dan: -thinks about it in a silly way- Well, it’s never boring with you around. -picks up the Slushee-

JD: I’m serious, Danny-boy… D-do I really deserve this chance…? Do I deserve you and Veronica? All this kindness…

Dan: -sighs- I won’t sugar coat it, Jason, you fucked up. -JD looks at Dan in surprise, when he swears he’s serious- But we all fuck up. It’s what humans do. We do stupid stuff sometimes, but the important thing is we learn from it, and we move on to better things, even if we stumble along the way. Ronnie and me care about you. We always did. And in your, at the time, warped little way you proved you did too.

Dan: -rubs his arm- We all just took the long way to get here, that’s all.

JD: I s’pose so. -looks a little relaxed and sips. He stops and looks at his cup- …Y’know what the best way to fight pain is…? -holds out his cup to clink-

Dan: -smiles- With more pain. -clinks cups and both boys take a large sip of their Slushees until they recoil from brain freeze-

-They both look at each other and laugh-

Dan: Besides you’re not off the hook, Jason…

JD: Wait, huh… -looks legitimately scared-

Dan: -feigns pain- In my weakened state, no thanks to you, I can’t get up to get us some corn nuts from the kitchen for a midnight snaaaack…!

JD’s face instantly switches to an amused but annoyed look: Drama queen. -gets up- Message received though, BBQ or honey roasted?

Dan: Honey roasted, pretty please~ -gives a sly wink-

JD: Hmph. -goes to the kitchen-

-As he’s pouring some corn nuts in a bowl, JD just smiles-

JD: -mutters to himself- Veronica, Danny-boy… Thanks for not giving up on me.

[transhuman-priestess]

Did I ever tell y’all about the absolute nightmare that my bottom surgery was?

Well buckle up, homestuck, because this is gonna get fucked up!

So basically if you’re still with me from the Before Times, I kinda disappeared after getting the ol’ snip n flip. That wasn’t the reason, I was just so busy with other stuff I kinda just fell off tumblr.

Firstly, they made me lose 70 pounds, more than 20% of my body weight. A week before surgery the surgeon emails me to check in on my weight loss. I tell her I’m still 10 pounds over. She says they might have to cancel my surgery but send some pictures so she can see.

After taking a couple of borderline-cheesecake photos for my doctor, she sends me an email saying I “look fine”.

Prior to surgery I’m given a very stern lecture that if I have any complications, any at all, I am to contact the surgeon directly, not to go to the ER or anything like that. I don’t really need to be told not to seek medical care from uninitiated doctors, but I’m more than glad to agree to this. Keep this paragraph in mind because it’s the rifle hanging on the wall if this post.

So I go to Philly and they stick me under and everything is pretty great for a while. I have really good depth and I’m able to rage the biggest dilator all the way to like, the second to last dot.

But a week or so after I get home one of my incisions opens up. I call the doc and receive no answer. I am hesitant to dilate because uhhhhh I don’t want to get stuff in a massive open wound in my abdomen??

It takes her about a day to get back to me. She tells us to fly back to Philly (from Chicago) the next day. So like, $1000 right there (bless my parents for helping).

While I’m there getting my cunt restitched, she’s cold, snippy, and insinuates that this is all somehow my fault. I’m pretty sure it’s not but whatever, I’m not the doctor here.

So we fly back home, I’m all sewn up. I deal with the unpleasant experience of having someone’s “emotional support” labradooodle stuff it’s nose directly into my still-bleeding crotch, but I’m okay.

And so I start dilating again, not able to take as much now, but slowly working back up.

And a few days after I get home the god damn incision opens up again.

At this point I’m pretty fucking distraught. I call, and I get no answer. I call again, and again, and again. For days I’m calling and sending emails and I get no response.

We ask my aunt (a surgeon) to see if she can get through to the doctors office. She’s able to with relative ease, and they work out something where I use wound gel and keep it clean. I try to keep dilating at this point but my vagina has started to close up, the opening is about 3/4” wide.

I got some smaller dilators but it was extremely disheartening and uncomfortable and eventually, I just kind of gave up. I felt horrible about it. The last time I contacted the surgeon was to ask for help with my constricted vagina. She prescribed me some topical estrogen cream that, in my view, did absolutely fuck all.

So yeah now I’m stuck with a vagina that’s fused shut and I’ve been that way for like 5 years now. Actually almost exactly 5 years. My surgery anniversary is tomorrow. Fucking lovely.

I have a revision consult in July but it took me forever to even work up the guts to find someone to do it because Jesus fucking Christ the whole thing was humiliating and violating.

But yeah that’s the story of how my cunt became a can’t. Thank you I’ll be here all week.

[rwbyremnants]

WARNINGS: public masturbation, frottage, intercrural sex.

NOTE: Here go another one! Sorry it took me a minute, happy 4th of July or something

=Chapter 3: Blake

Never in her life was Blake Belladonna more grateful for her cautious nature than when she got the phone call from Club Futopia. It came when she was relaxing after a family dinner with her parents. Her mother, Kali, expressed concern about her having yet another doctor's appointment, but Blake was easily able to offer "It's a trans thing" by way of explanation. It didn't save her from having to invent a couple more details, and make excuses for why her mother couldn't attend with her, but at least it covered the real purpose of her appointment.

Not that it didn't leave a bitter taste in Blake's mouth. Her mother was truly a caring, warm, intelligent, understanding individual; they had always been very close. Blake had been wishing they could be even closer for a long time now… but she had to keep her eyes on the prize. She would work for this club for a few months, tops, and either use her earnings for bottom surgery or just to maintain everything else. Maybe she would work there a little longer and have enough money to buy a house, and permanently relieve both her parents of the burden of worrying about whether or not they would need to take care of their little girl financially. She would just have to see how it all worked out.

"Guess this is it," she sighed on the Monday evening in question. She had chosen jeans and flip-flops and a tank top, which was a little more exposed than she normally left herself but they would be easy to change out of and into whatever costume they demanded she parade around in.

"Yep," Yang offered as she turned her bike down the road toward the club. It looked different when the sun was still up; the neon lights were already on, but they didn't stand out nearly as much. "You sure you're ready?"

"No. Let's do it." They both chuckled a little as she rolled up to the security gate. "But when we really start working here, we should probably take my car so we don't fuck up our hair."

Yang was still laughing when the guard in the booth said, "Badges?"

"Oh, uhh…" Yang glanced back at Blake briefly before looking at him again. "Sorry, we're new."

"Ahhh, fresh meat," he said with a smirk. But before Blake could really get a good scowl going, he asked, "Names?"

They gave their stage names, luckily remembering those would be what he expected to hear, and he waved them through. As Yang rolled into one of the many spots that were vacant since the club wasn’t in peak hours, she chuckled, “You got real nervous back there.”

“What?” Blake protested. “No, I didn’t.” 

“Yeahhhh, you did. Or is that just a road-boner I feel?”

Well, now she was more than a little embarrassed. “I… I didn’t think you would feel that.”

“Aww, it’s fine,” she laughed as she shut off the engine. “Like, this is literally Club Boner, I’m sure nobody’ll care. And I didn’t mind.”

“Oh. Uh… good.” Very good. If Yang had been disgusted by having to feel her body pressed against the blonde’s while in a state of arousal, it would have been devastating to Blake. Maybe one day, Yang would want to feel more… but she was letting herself get carried away.

Time to go to work.

“Hey,” Elm said gruffly, still a woman of few words. She nodded sharply at the door. “Your friends just went in a minute ago.”

“Damn, we’re late,” Yang swore. “Oh well. Thanks.” Elm just grunted as they squeezed past.

Weiss, Ruby, and Pyrrha had only made it as far as the locker room thus far. They were looking at more of those unitards in disdain; rather, Weiss was disdainful while Ruby and Pyrrha were more resigned. Blake rolled her eyes but tried to remind herself this was just part of the deal.

“Can you believe we have to keep putting these on?” Weiss demanded once they were closer. 

“Hi to you, too,” Yang chuckled. “And c’mon, they ain’t that bad; could be they make us walk around naked all the time.”

“Hazing would be pretty immature,” Blake sighed as she reached into the cardboard box for the one that fit her. It seemed these were either the same ones they wore before, or the club owners remembered their sizes. 

“Oh…” She glanced up from stepping out of her jeans to see Ruby was looking at her in surprise.

“What?”

“O-oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to stare, just… guess I’m not the only one who’s nervous.”

Blake felt her cheeks get a little warmer as she turned away from the group and slid off her underwear. “It’s a road boner. I get one on Yang’s bike a lot.”

“She does,” Yang confirmed. “This ain’t the first time, she’s not lying.”

“Oh, really?” Weiss demanded with a smug smirk. Blake saw it over her shoulder as she struggled into the unitard and wanted to turn fully and smack her, but she controlled herself. “Imagine that.”

“Shut up,” Blake muttered.

“Good, I didn’t have to crack the whip,” Cinder snorted from behind them. Great. Blake had secretly been hoping someone else might walk them through this process, but it seemed they were really stuck with that bitch. She might have been incredibly hot and goals, but her attitude was a huge mark in the negative column.

“Hello, again,” Pyrrha said, cheerful as ever.

“Good morning, sunshine.” As Blake now turned, she saw Cinder was wearing a very Monroe-esque cocktail dress, one hand resting on her hip. “Did you all clock in?”

“Clock in?” Yang asked in surprise. “I thought this was just training.”

“It is. But you’ll be paid minimum wage. Of course, once you really start working you get a raise and those fat tips, but you’ll still be compensated for any time spent in our employment. It’s a waste of our time and money if we start training you and you flake; in our experience, paying your bills keeps you from giving up early more often than not.”

“Guess that makes sense,” Weiss said with a shrug as she attempted to tug the crotch of her unitard into a comfortable position. Blake tried not to stare. Weiss wasn’t currently turned on, but she couldn’t help her curiosity entirely.

“Good. Now, unless there are any more questions, you five can follow me and we’ll get started.”

The trainees used the digital punch clock with only some minimal confusion, then gathered in the same private room as before. Blake could appreciate why they trained so early on in the night; this room probably wouldn’t be needed for several hours yet. Most of their clients were still at work, let alone through with dinner and ready for some unorthodox fun.

“This is Neo,” Cinder said, introducing the diminutive woman with the two-tone hair they had seen before, wearing a frilly white-and-pink gothic lolita dress today. She still only waved by way of greeting. “She’ll be leading you through some moves today. Pay attention, because she’s one of our most skilled; I’d say she, myself, and probably Coco are the top three current dancers. In no particular order.”

Ruby was the one who said cheerfully, “It’s nice to meet you!”

Neo just waved again. Cinder let the air get tense before she smirked and said, “Like I said, you’ll just have to pay attention.”

“Oh,” Pyrrha breathed while the others were still trying to figure out what they were talking about. Then she made a few movements with her hands that Blake found curious-

Until Neo returned them. Sign language. Now she got it, and felt a little stupid for not catching on sooner. At least Neo looked truly pleased that one of them could communicate with her more directly.

“Wow, now I really am impressed,” Cinder said, and she sounded like she was a lot less sarcastic than usual.

“Oh, I’m not very fluent,” Pyrrha said, even while she was signing back to Neo. “But… I took quite a few classes. I try not to forget what I’ve learned.” A few more signs from Neo, and she turned to the others. “It seems she can read lips. You can speak to her, just make sure you’re looking in her direction, and enunciate so she sees clear mouth movements.”

Weiss was the first to attempt it. She shouted in very clear syllables, “We look forward to working with you, Neo!”

“You don’t have to yell,” Cinder snorted with a roll of her eyes. “She’s Deaf, not hard-of-hearing; it won’t do any good.” 

“O-oh, sorry,” he said in chagrin. But Neo just giggled a little and bowed slightly toward Weiss, so clearly she wasn’t at all offended.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it for a little while. Glynda wants to go over the song list with me for tonight.” Cinder waggled her fingers at them as she made her exit. “Don’t have too much fun…”

----------------------------

Surprisingly, Blake found herself enjoying the training. Without Cinder’s snide comments and haughty attitude, they spent almost two hours just watching Neo do some very basic moves and trying their best to repeat them. She didn’t even bother with the pole quite yet; that was definitely a next level area of knowledge most of them weren’t ready for.

Surprising no one, Pyrrha and Weiss took to it very easily. Blake watched Ruby adapt as well as she could, and Yang struggling a little more. She herself felt like she could be handling this better, but the longer they worked, the more the movements began to feel natural instead of far too difficult.

Unfortunately, the training was also exhausting. They took plenty of water breaks, but while Neo and Pyrrha had barely broken a sweat, the rest of them were in various states of exhaustion.

“I… thought you’d be… handling this better,” Blake finally panted as they laid back against one of the walls.

“These just aren’t… the muscle groups I normally hit,” Yang chuckled breathlessly before taking another drink. “Whew! I’m… all about weight training, not… cardio. Guess that’s gotta change, huh?”

“Guess so.” As they continued to recover, she asked, “Are we sure about all this?”

“Huh? Oh… yeah, I am. It might even be fun, once we get used to the idea. Besides, the surgeries ain’t gonna pay for themselves.”

Blake nodded as she drained her water bottle. There were plenty more that one of the other dancers had dropped off about halfway through; Blake thought she remembered her name being Emerald. 

“You know… you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” Yang looked over at her with those incredible violet eyes, and Blake couldn’t help smiling. “You’re so hot and badass. Honestly, it’s kind of redundant for you.”

“Yeah? Thanks, Blake.” Her smile was so bright and genuine that it made Blake want to hide her own grin, which she tried to do behind her water bottle. It wasn’t all that successful. “Same to you, and I mean that. I just figured we both want to be taken seriously as girls, and like, that’s a big way we can do that. Hard for the bigots to keep it up once we have actual pussies.”

“True - for some of them, anyway. The rest, nothing will ever be enough. I just… well, sometimes I’m not sure I really want to go through with it. Mostly because it's a very invasive procedure and there are risks, you know all about that. But whatever you do, surgery, no surgery, I just… wanted you to know I support you. I guess.”

Yang nodded a few times. Then she reached over and pulled Blake into a very sweaty side-hug.

“Ewwww, gross!” 

“Awww, you’re such a good bestie!” As Blake shoved at her, she went on in a giggle, “Sorry. But seriously, that means a lot. This whole friend group makes me feel like maybe it’s not just you and me against the world. That’s pretty cool.”

It was. Still, Blake couldn’t help feeling like she missed when it was just the two of them. Oh well; nothing she could do about it now. They had training to undergo.

Neo continued to show them moves for another hour. They started getting more intricate, and she would spot them from time to time, using her hands to show them which ways their bodies should be moving. Blake tried to ignore the rush of heat that surged through her stomach when Neo’s delicate hand gripped the back of her thigh, but focusing on the actual technique she was learning helped, at least. 

In no time at all, the training was over with for the day. Cinder had come to check on them a few times, Glynda once. Blake became acutely aware of how out of shape she had gotten, even though she still maintained some daily exercise. Still, it really seemed like all five of them were well on their way to becoming dancers at this den of iniquity.

"Wow, that was pretty intense," Ruby commented as they showered. Though most of them were still a little awkward about being naked around each other, the nature of their work made it a little ridiculous to keep being shy. Sooner or later, they were going to have to deal with seeing each other's bodies.

"I'm pumped!" Yang replied as she scrubbed. She and Weiss had thought to bring shower caps, while the others just did their hair up in buns; Ruby didn't bother with either, as short as her hair was.

"I have to agree, I'm 'pumped' as well," Weiss commented, though she sounded a little unfamiliar with that slang. "Even if I'm not sure about continuing to work here, the techniques are interesting to learn."

Blake shrugged as she raised her leg up to get her calf and foot. Even though she had showered that morning, there was no sense in half-showering now. "Yeah, it's kind of cool. Still on the fence, too, but even if we bounce… at least we unlocked a new skill and got a decent workout."

"True, true." Then Yang smirked as she chuckled, "Dang, Blake, thanks for the free show."

"O-oh, sorry," she said as she switched legs hastily, shielding her package from view. Though now her heart was pounding a mile a minute, thinking about Yang actually checking her out.

"Aww, I was just teasing. Gotta get used to it sooner or later, right? And it's not like we're not all hotties."

While Blake was privately appreciative that she and Yang had been thinking along the same lines, Pyrrha suddenly offered, "Thank you. It's nice to hear that."

"Yeah, sure," Yang said back. Maybe Blake was imagining it, but her best friend's voice seemed a little more tender. Maybe they both still felt awkward about that lap dance… 

Or maybe it was more. She really didn't like that possibility, even if she was just as scared to admit why, but there was no point in getting paranoid about it with zero confirmation. She should just pay attention and try her best not to overreact prematurely.

"Either way, it's nice to know I'm not the smallest one here," Weiss announced, interrupting Blake's runaway train of thought.

"Aww, but there's nothing I can do about it," Ruby pouted as she looked down at herself.

"Actually, I was talking about Neo. She's very petite in all aspects; cute, naturally, but I sort of expected everyone who works here to have nine inches or larger."

With a slight chuckle, Blake offered, "Yeah, I don't think it quite works the same as it does with dudes. If this were a male strip club, I'm sure there would be some kind of minimum length requirement, but we're women; the novelty is that we even have dicks at all. Some clients might be size queens, but some might kind of be intimidated by us having bigger dicks than them - or they just think little ones are cute. They'll be happy with you or Ruby, and even more with Neo.'"

"Oh yeah?" she countered. "And how do you know all this? Wait, let me guess: your pornography addiction?"

"Yep. I mean, it led me to forums where a lot of people - sure, mostly guys, but not all of them - loved to talk about their preferences."

"Oh. Well… I guess that's fair, straight from the horse's mouth."

Yang chuckled as she rinsed off, and Blake couldn't help glancing along her body. She had been dying to see more of her for so long, and this definitely wasn't how she expected this to have come to pass. Those washboard abs were definitely her favorite part. Sure, she was hung, but she loved the idea that Yang could pick her up and throw her across the room. That, on top of her natural beauty, her easy smile and playful sense of humor, and just how incredible of a friend she was… 

How was she supposed to not swoon?

"You're not gonna make Blake feel bad about the porn," she was saying when Blake focused, and hoped the shower water made it hard to tell she had been drooling. "Like, not when it's a big part of her path to her truth."

"That's fine for her!" Weiss burst out. "It's just hard for me to unlearn that preconceived notion that pornography is filth, and the people that make and partake in it are degenerates. Thank my father, I suppose."

“Ew, I’d rather not talk to him,” Ruby commented as she finished up. “Oh, you guys are still having trouble with those? I guess it’s hard to avoid that completely in this place.”

She was pointing to Blake, Yang, and Pyrrha. Turned out they were all in various states of arousal. Blake felt a little less embarrassed given that she wasn’t the only one, but no less bothered about seeing her best friend in that state. And even though Pyrrha was a bit larger, she found she couldn’t take her eyes off Yang’s fine, firm shaft.

“Sis, you didn’t have to point it out!” Yang hissed in a stage whisper as she started working on finishing up. But it was mostly Ruby she had turned away from. Blake understood; the average person really didn’t want their family and sexual situations to overlap, ever.

“Sorry!” she hissed back. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I was just like, ‘oh, what’s that about?’”

After they all stood there squirming and acting silly for a few seconds, it was Pyrrha who offered, “Let’s just finish showering and go home for the day. We’re likely going to have a lot more moments like this, so we should start getting used to them.”

“You probably should,” Weiss sighed as she finished rinsing off. “Alright, well, I’m clean, and I believe Ruby is, as well. But if you three need to stay in here and take care of something, be my guest.”

And with that, she left the showers. Ruby looked a little uncertain before shrugging and offering a brief wave as she skipped out, as well.

“Damn, she really can’t help being a jerk,” Yang muttered as she kept rinsing off the soap from her body.

“She does make a good point,” Blake admitted. “How are we supposed to go out in public like this?”

“Yeah… yeah.”

Pyrrha scooted closer, since she had previously been showering a few spots down. “Weiss wasn’t suggesting… well, that we have sex simply because we’re aroused. She wouldn’t say that, would she?”

“No, no way,” Yang laughed - and it was quite a nervous laugh. “She was talking about jerking off. Which, like, I guess I’d rather do that than walk around outside with my tent pitched.”

“Ah. Well…” She cleared her throat. “I could probably force it to fade before I finish dressing myself. I’ve never had an issue with that. Should I leave the two of you to…?”

As Yang nodded, looking resigned - and maybe a little disappointed - Blake felt a little hopeless herself. Maybe Yang was out of her reach. She kept telling herself that she shouldn’t harbor these feelings, should be smart about their friendship, but it wasn’t as if Yang was the only ridiculously unwise crush she had to deal with. By now, she was used to setting her needs aside because there was no use in worrying about them.

Which was why it was possible for her to say, “But where’s the fun in that?”

“Pardon me?”

“Well, you and Yang got pretty familiar during the training. That’s why you’re having a problem. Might as well take care of it together, right?”

Both of the other women looked shocked. There was a certain variety of concern in Yang’s features that she couldn’t quite identify, but it made her feel ashamed of the suggestion.

“Sorry. Maybe I should keep my big mouth shut; let’s go get dressed and see if the-”

“No, no, it’s cool,” Yang said with a nervous laugh. “And, um… we don’t have to do anything to each other, we can just… purge the urge with company. Kinda weird, but somehow less weird than doing it alone.”

“Well… that’s fair,” Pyrrha conceded. “I don’t know if I could bring myself to orgasm in a communal shower, though. But I certainly would be afraid of someone walking in on me alone in here and thinking I’m depraved.”

Blake snorted as she turned to let the water rinse the soap from between her ass cheeks, pulling them apart to speed up the process. “Yeah, I get it. Then again, I don’t think that many people who work here would be judging you.”

When she glanced over to see if Pyrrha thought she was right - she found herself distracted. Yang’s head was moving to point straight ahead at the opposite wall. Where had she been looking before? Had… 

Had Yang been looking while she was spreading? Was she actually checking out her hole?

“Y-yeah,” Yang chuckled nervously as she teased her fingers over her own shaft. “Anyway, I think I’m gonna do it. Might be faster and it’s definitely easier than, like, trying to think about baseball or whatever.”

Pyrrha nodded thoughtfully while Blake tried to keep her heart from pounding so loud it would be audible to the other two. Was this really happening? She might as well go for it. “Me, too. Might as well.”

“Oh. Very well.” The athlete cleared her throat and wrapped her hand around her firm javelin. “O-ohhhh, goodness… it’s so much more sensitive than usual…”

“I bet,” Yang laughed softly as she started stroking. “Mmm… yeah, this is super weird, but weirdly hot? I dunno…”

“Agreed.” Blake didn’t even have to lie; it was very hot. She just wasn’t going to mention that Yang being there was most of the reason it was hot for her. Pyrrha being there added an extra dash of spice, as did the mere fact that they were in a communal shower in the back of a strip club, but almost all of it was getting to watch her best friend beginning to beat her meat.

And it was time to get started on her own. Eyes glued to the other two shafts nearby, Blake started to pump her own, pleasure rocketing into her fingertips and down into her toes, making her knees want to buckle. She was no stranger to masturbation, but doing it in front of Yang hit so different.

There was some awkwardness at first. They would stroke a little, stop, blush, fidget. It was cute to see Yang fidgeting, since she was normally so confident. But the more they kept going, the more the inhibitions faded enough for them to really get into the act. Blake could feel her urges building at record speed, panting for breath as she leaned back against the tile to better give herself over to the moment.

“Nnhhh!” Yang finally groaned. “Man, I’m already getting… tingles in my balls!”

“I’m very close!” Pyrrha agreed as her hand glided up and down, faster and faster. “Nnhh! Thank goodness! I’m sorry you’ve… had to watch this!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine! You… you have a really great dick, and at least… you get to finish the show!”

For a moment, the redhead looked at her in surprise as her hand worked. Then she breathed, ���You wanted the rest of the show?” When Yang nodded, she turned more fully so she could watch her get off. “Mmhh! I hope this helps you!”

It helped both of them. Even though Blake wasn’t interested in Pyrrha beyond friendship, she did find her body attractive - and enjoyed seeing how much hotter it seemed to make Yang, who was grunting with the efforts of her own strokes now. All of them were pumping furiously, eager to reach their climaxes, desperate to cross that finish line-

“Oooh, Happy Birthday to me!”

Blake didn’t even have time to turn and see who was approaching. She started to, but there was a little squeak from Pyrrha - followed by a thick stream of cum arcing through the air from the tip of her swollen shaft, hitting Blake right in the eye. It was both extremely erotic and a little disgusting.

“AH!” she gasped, frantically swiping at the sticky substance so she could see again.

“O-ohhhh, oh GOD! Oh no, Blake, I am so sorry - that was not my… my intention, I was startled! Mmmhh, I’ve never… not like that!”

“Shit!” Yang hissed, and Blake could tell they had all stopped stroking by the absence of the slight noises. Even if they were mostly masked by the shower, her sense of hearing had always been keener than others’. “Hey! Uh, how's it hangin'? Sorry, we just, uhh… it’s kinda-”

“Hey, don’t have to apologize,” the stranger chuckled. Even though Blake was still rinsing out her eye, by now she could tell it was Thunder Thighs who had intruded upon them. She had a very unique voice, high and bursting with energy. “That was really hot! You guys sure seem like you’re getting used to things around here!”

Finally able to get a look, now Blake could see the muscular dancer was as nude as they were. She and Yang looked like they could be hitting the gym on the same schedule, though Yang was more focused on overall tone and maintaining a feminine shape, while Nora was almost approaching bodybuilder status - very curvy, but those washboard abs were no joke. Neither was her cock, which was just beginning to grow in size from seeing Pyrrha’s grand finale - not quite as long, but girthier.

In a flash, Blake remembered that Thunder Thighs had been into Pyrrha when they first met her. This really was a gift for the excitable woman.

“Y-yeah,” Yang finally managed with a nervous chuckle. “But we’re kinda not used to all the, uh… y’know.”

“Dicks and sluttiness?” When Yang nodded, Thunder grinned knowingly as she set her little shower caddy down on the small shelf intended for just such a purpose and started rinsing off across from them. “Yeah, it definitely got me spanking it five times a day when I started, too! My poor balls! Felt like they were gonna fall off half the time!”

As she cackled to herself, Blake found herself relaxing a tiny bit more and stroking herself again. Knowing this intruder wasn’t judging them for their extracurricular activities was such a relief, and now she felt even less awkward than she had before she showed up. She noticed Yang was doing the same.

“Cool. So, um… Nora, right?”

“Not supposed to use real names in the club,” she reminded them, but with no malice in her tone whatsoever. “But it’s cool, and that’s me!”

“Thunder, sorry.” She actually paused to give her a thumbs up, and Blake chuckled. “Right. So what do you do now? About, um… getting turned on while you work.”

“I let it happen. The guys are never not thrilled to see one of the dancers get hard. Plus, like, I got more used to ignoring that I’m horny instead of taking care of it; probably a little that I’m getting older, y’know?”

“Wow,” Yang breathed in wonder, hand movements speeding up, becoming more self-assured. “I can’t imagine not getting off for all that long when I’m getting constant boners.”

“Oh, I still get off. Just less!” As she rinsed off, she glanced over at the new dancers and chuckled. “Kinda making me want to decide this is one of those moments! Dang, you three are rarin’ to go!”

All three of them? Blake looked over to see even Pyrrha had started caressing her length yet again, unable to fully resist despite having already climaxed. She could only guess that the suddenness of her spurting had meant she didn’t achieve a truly satisfying end, or she would have been spent and done.

"So, um, Thunder," Blake asked, hoping to distract all of them from the unusual situation. "How do you like working here? Like, besides finding girls jerking off in the shower."

"You mean besides the best part?" she joked with a wink as she lathered up. "Nah, it's great, and the dancing is fun. Flirting with the customers is fun. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in this for the money; like, I wouldn't keep doing this job if it didn't pay better than just about anything else I could find."

"Yeah, totally get that," Yang chuckled, still working herself pretty hard. They all seemed to be weathering the unique condition where doing this in front of a stranger was both hotter and made it harder to allow themselves to finish. "Like, I suck at dancing, but I'll learn for the kind of paycheck this place promises."

“Right?! I mean, of course it’s sad that a lot of girls like us end up in sex work of some kind or another, but at least this is just dancing.” Nora hummed to herself a little after she finished speaking, still rinsing off her body as her hands passed over her skin.

And Blake appreciated it. All three of the women near her were strong, and she was absolutely into it; maybe Yang was the only one she really wanted to get closer to, but the view was very nice. 

“Am I helping?”

Coming back to the present, she heard Yang saying, “Oh yeah. Like, uh… I’ve never done this kinda thing before, but three hot girls around me? Huge plus.”

Blake could have shot right then and there. Hearing out loud that Yang thought she was hot, even if it was in a group of other women… she couldn’t entirely suppress the moan. 

“Oh?” Pyrrha asked as she stroked a little faster. “Then the chair incident… you still haven’t satisfied your curiosity?” When Yang just shrugged and chuckled, Pyrrha smiled and shook her head. “You… can give me a show in return. That is all I ask.”

“And you’re all giving me a great show!” Thunder giggled - and Blake saw she had gone from mostly soft and showering to fully hard and stroking. 

“AH!” she couldn’t help gasping. “How… how did you do that?”

“What? Just watching hot girls do hot girl things, Shadow. At least, I think I heard your name was Shadow?”

But Blake was far too distracted to respond. Seeing Nora’s thick, glorious cock added into the mix was filling her with so much lust and urgency that she couldn’t help fully focusing on the sight of her stroking it, how the round sack beneath bobbed from side to side. Even the muscular thighs framing the package, the six-pack above, were making her orgasm rise to the top faster. 

“God, you’re all so hot,” Yang repeated weakly as she leaned back against the shower. “Pyrrha… I can’t believe you’re gonna shoot again!”

That did prompt a startled gasp from the redhead. This time, however, instead of climaxing again, she hissed, “Names, Sunbeam!”

“Wha- OH! Oh shit, sorry… Olympia! Yeah, that was it, right?”

“Thank you! And… and I do not know if I’ll be ‘shooting’ again; I’m not sure yet!”

“Well, maybe I could help?” Nora volunteered. “I mean, we could get a little more handsy in here; it’s kinda just… part of the work environment!”

“M-maybe we should just keep jerking,” Blake stammered nervously. If she were honest with herself, she knew it was because she didn’t want Yang to get any more interested in Pyrrha than she already was - but also, it just seemed way over the line. Masturbation on their first full day of training was bad enough.

However, Yang seemed to be of another mindset. “What did you have in mind?” 

“Just some simple stuff! Like… okay, see, I’m really down for more with this cutie.” She moved over near Pyrrha, who shivered and backed into the wall. Blake couldn’t tell if she was afraid, or just not used to this kind of physical intimacy, however potential. “I’d let her bend me over any day of the week - or vice versa.” 

“O-oh?” Pyrrha asked, stroking a little faster.

“Sure! I mean, you got a bigger cock than me, even - and I loooove getting filled as much as I love doing the filling!” When the others didn’t respond further other than to continue what they were already doing, she moved around behind Pyrrha. The redhead tensed slightly and watched her warily, but didn’t move away. “And I’m picking up on a vibe where you both think she’s really hot, right? Plus, like, she already shot when I first got here and might need a little help with the sequel.”

“Uhh… I mean, yeah, that’s totally fair,” Yang said, briefly glancing back at Blake before refocusing on Nora again. “Just not getting where you’re going with this.”

“Riiight about… here!”

Pyrrha gasped when she felt that thick shaft sliding between her thighs. At first, Blake felt alarmed - and a building spark of anger. Did this bitch really just start fucking their friend without any forewarning?! She would be dead. But closer inspection revealed that Thunder hadn’t done that; she was, in fact, merely sliding her dick between Pyrrha’s thighs. It was still a little insensitive to do it without asking, but way less unforgivable than the alternative.

“Okay, stop me if this feels too weird,” Nora giggled. “But like, this is a little something extra without being like, way extra. You know what I mean?”

“O-oooh…” Pyrrha panted and throbbed a little harder as she shivered. “Oh… I’ve heard of this. Intercrural sex. You… you would really want to…?”

“Why not? You got killer legs, girlfriend! Like, if you don’t mind and all.”

At least she was asking now - even if she should probably have asked first. Blake decided to watch Pyrrha for any cues that she was uncomfortable and react at that juncture, instead of decking Nora immediately. 

“Mmhh… it is helping my arousal return,” the ginger admitted breathlessly, beginning to rock her hips a little. 

“Jesus, that’s hot,” Yang admitted under her breath. She was jerking it at full speed now, and Blake found herself doing the same; all of them were losing control, giving themselves over to this insane moment. 

And it seemed Thunder Thighs wasn’t giving up on Pyrrha’s thighs, either. It was hard not to chuckle at that thought in her head; maybe Pyrrha would get to try out the Thunder Thighs if they took turns. Either way, she saw the veteran dancer was really pounding into her friend’s backside, her thick shaft appearing beneath Pyrrha’s over and over, causing her sack to bounce out of the way with each motion. 

And Pyrrha? Her expression told quite a story. The girl was clearly a little afraid this was going to get even more out of hand than it already had, and unsure if she should really be doing this, but was also very turned on. Blake wondered if it was from watching Yang, or feeling the cock… or maybe the pressure up against her ass, even though nothing had been toying with her there directly. But the brilliant red blush was real, and so was how fast her hand was stroking up and down along that enormous appendage of hers.

Even though she didn’t find Pyrrha attractive like that, she wouldn’t mind playing with that. Any day of the week.

“I… I can’t stand it!” Yang finally whined, leaning one shoulder against the shower wall as she jerked harder than ever, back almost fully to Blake as she watched the other two playing. “You two… that’s really…!”

“You like these dicks?” Glancing between Yang and Pyrrha’s expressions, a mischievous glint sparked in Nora’s eyes - before she slowly began walking forward. Pyrrha stumbled along with her, too overcome to resist, until she and Yang were practically grazing each other’s knuckles with every caress of their burning need. “Go on - reach out and have a little fun!”

“No way! That’s… I didn’t-”

“I-it’s alright,” Pyrrha panted brokenly as she finally pulled her hand back to the base of her own shaft, holding it as steady as she could with Thunder Thighs still getting off on her thigh muscles. “You can… if you want to…”

Apparently, she didn’t have to tell anyone twice. Yang wasted no more time before wrapping her hand around not only her own cock, but her friend’s, stroking them both as hard as she had been abusing herself a moment ago. Pyrrha gasped at the sensations before letting out a high moan, completely given over to letting Yang slide their dicks against each other as roughly as she pleased.

And there was no mistaking that Thunder was into it. She let out a little “oooOoooh” of satisfaction as she watched them for a moment, then picked up the pace, wet skin slapping against the new dancer’s ass over and over as her hands played up and down her stomach - and then her chest. Another gasp came from Pyrrha’s lips when she felt her peaks being teased but she was far too gone to protest, even if she wanted to. Which was completely up in the air.

And Blake was just… back there. Part of her wanted to surge forward and start doing the same thing to Yang as Thunder was doing to Pyrrha. Part of her wanted to shove the other two away and have her best friend all to herself. But in the end, she was too much of a coward to do anything but observe, stroking herself as hard as they were. 

But she wasn’t as forgotten as she thought she was.

“This… this is so hot!” Yang panted. “Isn’t it, Blake?”

“What?” Blinking in shock that she had even been addressed, she glanced down at herself and then back up at the three of them, moving a little closer. “Y-yeah! I’m… getting really close!”

“Good! Me, too - I’m gonna blow any minute! Pyrrha? Thunder?”

The two gingers nodded, though it was only the latter who crowed, “Roger Dodger! I mean, you guys had a head start, but it ain’t gonna take me long to catch up! Just fire when ready, girls!”

Why did she have to say things like that? But Blake couldn’t spare much brainpower for that while she was vibrating with more lust than she had felt in a long time. She briefly saw Yang glance over her shoulder and felt shame flooding her veins, but then she turned around again and all seemed safe. 

“Blake, you can… do what Thunder’s doing! If you want! N-no biggie!”

What?! Was Yang really offering what she thought she was offering? Couldn’t be. But seeing that violet eye just barely peering over her shoulder again gave her pause. Maybe she was being nice, and didn’t think it was fair to leave her out - or maybe she wanted her to do it. Maybe she was just so horny she wanted even more stimulation. But either way, the look back made it fairly clear that she was waiting for Blake’s answer.

“I…” Swallowing hard, she moved even closer until she was jerking it just behind Yang, hand grazing over one of her firm, chiseled ass cheeks. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Just… better start now before… before we all run out of time!”

No more waiting. Blake released herself, gripped Yang’s waist before she could internally scream about this or think too deeply about how muscular and amazing it felt under her palms, and thrust her greedy cock between her best friend’s legs.

And it was everything. Even if they didn’t really go any further and it barely counted, Blake’s heart was singing at being able to get this close to Yang for once in her life. She tried not to think about it that much but the heart wants what the heart wants.

At least Yang seemed to get even more into her activities after Blake started than she was before. Whether it was even because of the identity of the one fucking her thighs, or just that someone was doing that, her moans and panting grew louder, and her hand flashed up and down along hers and Pyrrha’s cocks at a reckless speed that made Blake fear for their safety. 

“YEAH!” Yang panted a few seconds later - Blake couldn’t be sure how long. “That’s… that is it! That’s what I need! Almost there!”

“Keep up the pace, guys!” Thunder crowed, fully groping Pyrhra’s chest as she rammed between her legs harder and harder. The redhead looked completely overcome but given over to the ride. “Let’s see some fireworks!”

That’s exactly what they got. A few more strokes and Yang shot a stream of thick cum into the air between their four bodies - the first to give in to her pleasure. Clearly, it felt so good that she kept right on pumping and gasping out loud, hips squirming from side to side due to how overwhelmingly fantastic it felt.

Which got Blake there immediately afterward - and Nora wasn’t far behind. She wasn’t too busy moaning and coating Yang’s soft sack with her own juices to notice the shorter ginger’s eyes rolling into the back of her head as her “hammer” did the same, getting all over Yang and Pyrrha due to the angle. Blake couldn’t even be totally sure if some of the essence dripping down was her own or from Thunder, but it didn’t make all that much difference; it felt amazing.

Plus, they were in the shower. It wasn’t like it would be on her for long.

“My… my goodness!” Pyrrha panted weakly as she got closer and closer. Yang’s hand did start to slow down, but picked up speed instead when she heard such a needy tone of voice coming from her friend. “You’re all so… so ready to p-produce so much- AH!”

Yet again, the orgasm snuck up on the athlete. Yang must have gripped Pyrrha’s lengthy shaft extra hard, because it shot all the way into the air and landed on the blonde’s head, earning a yip of shock. A few more pumps sent more sliding down her hand and all over both of their cocks, making such a mess that Blake couldn’t help feeling a little tingle of aftershock. Just because she was finished didn’t mean she was finished enjoying the show.

“Ohhhh GOD,” Thunder groaned as she came to a stop at last, hands just loosely resting on Pyrrha’s stomach instead of teasing her further. “I can’t believe how good that was! And we didn’t even really fuck - we just used friction! Wow, you three are wild!”

Yang snorted as she leaned her shoulder against the wall a little more as she caught her breath. “Yeah… we… we really did something. Whatever it was.”

“I think I… enjoyed that,” Pyrrha confessed weakly as she rested one hand on Yang’s shoulder. “Strange as it was.”

Realizing she was the only one who didn’t give a review, Blake delicately added, “Same.” Because she didn’t want to be too enthusiastic, just in case Yang didn’t feel quite as interested in what they had explored together as she was. Though she couldn’t help rolling her hips a little, still enjoying the firm muscles pressing in on either side of her spent shaft. “It was a lot.”

“Damn right,” Yang admitted as she looked over her shoulder fondly at Blake. “But I’d… do it again.”

“Clearly, you would do a great many things.”

The foreign voice drew their attention to the doorway of the showers. Blake felt her heart leap into her throat as she recognized who had walked in and found them in such a compromised state.

“Winter?!”

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. does not like sweet things very much and hates ugly fishes robin hood lefty eyebag 😅

Oh no, that sucks about your phone! Hope it is good now and not damaged badly.

Hahahaha yes we talked about your favorite fruit! And you said BANANAAAAAAAA was one of them 🤣

Yeah I'm not sure what the number is but I was able to set up an appointment today before work, so I am finishing this and will leave soon for the eye doctor.

No no ahahahahaha I am dead again. Have you ever watched courage the cowardly dog?? If you have, do you remember the old lady, Muriel??? That's how I imagined what you described hahahahaha with a cane and probably iced coffee in the other hand 🤣🤣

Ooh I see. Is that why you said you are sensitive to noise before? Or is the repetition of sounds just bothersome to you?

Are you going to do surgery for it then?

I used to make notes and detailed stuff about the characters before. But now I just cram everything in my brain. You should write a story about Wanda receiving anonymous messages from a curious george and she slowly falls in love with them hahaha just kidding

Ah that's interesting what your friend said. I think you answered my next question, cause I was going to ask if you were a sub or dom in the relationship, and if you were a top or bottom.

I guess my next question would be, how do you write it?? The description and details is so good, it's crazy. Also, do you get flustered after you write smut?

- CuriousGeorge

hello hello you!

how are you today? and how was your eye doctor appoinment?

the phone is okay, thank god.hahaha. i blow air with hair dryer then put it in rice overnight and it works fine now. :D

hahaha yeesss BANANAAAAAAAA!! *screams like minions"

hahaa yeah i might be like her when i got old. n if i can stay alive till that old, the doctor wouldn't let me drink coffee anymore for my heart.lol. but i know which show u meant.

hmm i dont know if i'm sensitive with noise has anything to do with my hearing problem. buuuutt it's a different condition that i think i have it. It's called Audio Processing Disorder. you can google it. i didnt mean to diagnose myself with it but when i read about it, i have all the symptoms. I'll send u a link of a post in instagram about it that i saw. Here is the link:

maybe someday i will have the surgery. well, you know how expensive medical can be here in US. the doctor wants me to get hearing check again in a year to see if it gets worse that fast or not n see it from there.

hahaha that would be a nice story to write. is wanda going to be a married woman in this fic idea too? :D

oh well, when i was with my girlfriend, i was the top. n but neither of us dom or sub. but if i can be with a woman now, i would love to be with a top dom one. so in conclusion, I'm a switch that lean more to bottom n sub. i dont mind to top n if i have to dom, i probably the soft dom. :D

how do i write my smut? i just try to write it whatever that's in my mind. i write what i thought i would see as if it's in a tv or something. i write what i think that my eyes pay attention to or where my sights change focus to. n i try to write as detail as i can so when people read it they can feel it as if they r in the story or at least as if they are watching it like a movie.

also thank you for the compliments, i appreciate it. I just love writing in details, that's why my fic usually long no matter what type of story it is. i'm glad u enjoy all the details :D

next questions?

Cheerio!