#syscourse bites

[syscourse-flavortown]

My real dinner was so good, I forgot my syscourse dinner. Shame on me! This little snack comes from @n-clair. Good to hear from you!

Mmm. It's a little bit on the powdery side, but it's a sensation unlike any other. It sends tingles down the tastebuds and throat, with a delightful savory umami. I can taste something like mushroom -- controversial for some, but incredibly healthy and delicious (for me).

Rating: ⭐⭐ Worth a detour! A delicious little snack, all told. It could use a bit more substance -- a filling plate of this with a bit more to chew on would make for a perfect meal!

[littlest-bugz]

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

[wiltedrosebouquet]

about ready to start using #diagnosed did exclusively because im at the point where i cannot fucking stand that ‘multig3nic’ systems will post in tags like #actually did. like can you give us ONE fucking space. one.

[snezhnayan-nights]

hey no cos i feel like there's this thing with the current syscourse where it's like "anti-recovery = bad person"

i thought people's choices in recovery doesn't dictate their morals. if you mean they encourage others to NOT recover, then okay. but at the same time i keep seeing people going "THIS is the way you should recover" which is just as bad as telling people to not recover.

idk. it's annoying me.

[the-fictive-haven]

Having fictives is so weird sometimes. Our little sibling is playing Minecraft and put on a weird Shadow skin and kept saying goofy/mildly incoherent stuff about him (this kid's absolutely AuDHD like we are), well of course Shads gets front triggered by that and I had to mentally restrain him from telling off this 9 year old for disrespect 😭

We had to leave the room lmao

[sophieinwonderland]

"In fact, I am actually a proud supporter of people's rights to wave the Confederate Flag." <- THAT'S GONNA GET CROPPED OUT OF CONTEXT SO HARD.

the "sophiecourse" and "tw sophieinwonderland" people are gonna erase the the context and claim you support slavery or something...

well. they kind of already tried doing that before on your dreamchaserguild blog, didn't they? guess you can't do anything to prevent malicious ignorance.

(here is the full context for people who haven't seen the post i'm referring to:

"In fact, I am actually a proud supporter of people's rights to wave the Confederate Flag. It's good to be able to recognize immediately when someone is a racist asshole based on their bumper sticker alone.")

Lol!

That would actually be hilarious if they did take it out of context like that! 🤣

[syscoursecorner]

OPINION TIME‼️‼️‼️

Sorry for the late post chat but now for the grand reveal of my even hotter syscourse take drumroll PLEASE🥁🥁🥁🥁

Endos should have no say in cdd spaces. “What about mix origins!?!?” Well if the mix is trauma and whatever the fuck else, then duh? Thats partially your space to but dont expect people to relate to your experiences with being mixed origin, as they are more than likely totally different than cdds experiences. Other than that, endos mind your business when it comes to cdd spaces! SECOND HOT TAKE BECAUSE I LOVVVEEE STIRING THE POT i fear weve reduced “syscourse” to pro endo vs anti endo which is stupid, because there are so many other more interesting things i want to hear opinions about! I dont care about endos anymore!!!! lets talk about something new as a community or rehash old debates with our new knowledge and opinions rather than the same old song and dance of whether endos exist… This is gone into ramble territory but I have more to say so IM GONNA MAKE A WHOLE OTHER RANT welcome to my ted talks, buckle up bucko

[bugpalace]

Btw guys you might see me using we/us as pronouns for some of our posts. I don't know if we're plural or not, I generally say I'm not, but sometimes it just feels right

Consider us a cluster of bugs that function as a single consciousness or something idk

[quoigenicfromhell]

I'm going to bite the next person that implies that plurality is a 'hobby' or like, a choice for us I swear to god

[the-fictive-haven]

We've been waiting to see this post again so we can reblog it thank you algorithm

Let's call it what it is. Locking away, shunning, being mean to, etc to persecutors is alter abuse. It does not matter who or what they are or why they behave the way they do, it is abuse. Yes, even if this alter is an abuser themselves, for whatever reason! You can separate them from others they're likely to have conflict with for everyone's safety, sure, but do not isolate them from everyone.

All headmates have a reason that they exist and that includes persecutors/anyone with behaviors one could consider problematic. They deserve respect, patience, kindness, and the option to better themselves. If they don't want to take that option, it still doesn't give you the right to harm them.

Oh, and by the way, labelling an alter as a persecutor, problematic, or anything else of the sort without their consent, especially in a negative context, is just fucking rude. "Persecutor" should not be used as an insult.

Nine is distrusting, apprehensive, rude and can be aggressive. He is what could be called a persecutor (and does not mind me specifically using this term). We love him. He is a valuable and important part of our system. It may be misguided but his aggression and anger is intended to keep us safe, it's a protective instinct. He can't help it. I personally cannot imagine giving him hate for it or locking him away.

We will block anyone we see encouraging or doing this kind of thing. You need to seriously reconsider your choices. -Yami

Your system is there to help you, fuckwads. It's not that hard to understand. Quit trying to cage your alters like animals, figuratively and literally because I KNOW some of you sick bastards do that. I am not "bad", your persecutors aren't inherently bad, and if you treat them like garbage you deserve it when they lash out and cause problems for you.

I will protect my system and others like me. Try me. I bite, bitch. -Nine

It’s never okay to lock a headmate away, never. They could be the worst person in the world, you still shouldn’t lock them away. There’s a difference between keeping headmates away from eachother and taking away someone’s privacy, free will and connections. You are abandoning that headmate, you are telling them that they are not worth helping, that they don’t deserve to get better. If talking it out doesn’t work for them there are other options, I’d recommend giving them their own space to speak their mind without threat of mistreatment for it, for starters. If someone really doesn’t want help don’t force it on them, just let them know it’s always an option and leave it at that. -Ange

[syscourse-flavortown]

Well, Chef 🐙, I could've sworn I rated this, but I don't see it anywhere in my drafts or on my blog!!! How bizarre.

Thankfully, I am happy to eat it again.

Mmm... this scrumptious little treat is unassuming at first. A chocolate shell, one that you have to crack open with your spoon, filled with a delectably creamy filling that bleeds out through the little hole you make. But then, you get your first taste -- buttery, smooth, creamy...

And what's this...

Toasted marshmallow with peanut butter chunks?!

My god.

There's also a sharp taste of spice, in each little bite of cream. It hits shockingly, surprisingly, but it mingles perfectly with the flavor of the chocolate. Each bite is more delicious than the other, making me realize things i hadn't realized previously, making connections of flavors that I hadn't thought of before!!

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ DEFINITELY Worth a journey!! If I could give more than three, I would. This was absolutely a stunning take and meal to receive. Thank you for an experience!

[kompaktcat]

Dispel the preconception in your head that fictive alters are usually just funny little cartoon blorbos.

Maybe not as much of an assumption as we assume but we've seen a couple takes like this recently that have been driving us feral.

[littlest-bugz]

Was I supposed to know that???

[a non-definitive list of things I wish I had known in early CDD system discovery]

When you are first discovering your system, or are just finding out you have some form of CDD [complex dissociative disorder], things can be really confusing and scary. Memories and Alters may surface, you might get more dissociative symptoms [or become aware of them], and just a bunch more that adds to a feeling of disorientation with your own life and identity. Things are uncertain and stressful, but I assure you, everything is okay and you will come out on top of things safely!

In the beginning of rediscovering my own system in 2021, I was really lost because I didn't turn to the internet for resources or go to professionals for help. I was almost entirely in the blind when I was getting to know my system! I didn't interact with any other systems or seek out CDD specific advice and care until December of 2023. That's all to say I was in a similar position as you may be. I was quite lost, confused, and scared as I was coming to terms with the fact that I, as an alter, did not have full control over the body and what we did, and that my memory could, and had, fail me. It was just an uncertain time, but now that I'm into recovery, I know that there are things that would've helped me going into system discovery...

If you're an already discovered system [i.e. you already know and have established contact], maybe you will learn something new or maybe you will come out with a new outlook on something! Or it might not help at all! Which is okay because everyone is different!

That being said... Strap in! this post is EXTREMELY long! [this is not an understatement- this post is criminally long]

Notes : Before I jump into the numerous points of this post, I have to preface this post with the fact of this post may be discouraging at times. I'm being so serious, but in my opinion, this post has important points. The only issue is that what I'm saying can come across as negative or fakeclaim-y, but I am not fake claiming anyone in this post! Do not take what I say personally!! I don't know who's reading this! You could be my best friend or a stranger from across the world! So you have to remember to take things with a grain of salt because, as you'll see immediately in the first point you know you better than anyone else does. I do not know you personally, nor do I know your system or situation. Take what resonates with you, and leave the rest, if that makes sense? Just hear me out before you dismiss this post as not worth your time.

Now we can actually get into the post!

-> DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA WARP YOUR PERCEPTION OF CDDS OR YOUR SYSTEM

This is more a warning than the rest of this post because this is THE MOST important part of early system discovery. While I did not personally engage in most social medias during my own system discovery, this is a point I know will be important for others, especially those in early system discovery... But what do I mean by this?

Well, for starters, this is the main reason why a lot of systems struggle with validating themselves and their system. It is not healthy to compare your system to other systems. It is not healthy to look at other systems, not relate, and think that somehow means you're not a 'real system'. While sharing experiences and discussing your system, as well as listening to the experiences of other systems, is beneficial, comparing yourself to other systems will make you feel like shit. This is where a majority of posts dealing with invalidity come from. You let the internet and misinformation to shape how you view systemhood as a whole.

The notion that a large alter count is invalid is from social media.

The notion that a system is 'too complex' is from social media.

The notion that there is such a thing as too many introjects is from social media.

Seriously, I could go on. These do not matter at all, and those are not the only examples I have seen [just the most common]. Having a complex system, being introject heavy, and/or having a large system are all seen in scientific material, so the notion that it somehow makes you invalid is based in comparison and social media misinformation. You need to keep your head on your shoulders when interacting with social media, or you will damage your relationship with systemhood. Not to mention, you may internalize misinformation!

For some, not comparing themselves to others is MUCH easier said than done. I used to be one of those people! And I still am sometimes! but that's something I am working on. Which... For the sake of not only you as an alter, but also your system, I am seriously suggesting you to work on validating yourself via self help or a therapist. From one system to another, working on this will limit your denial phases and imposter syndrome. Like I said before, I'm a chronic compare-er, but when I learned to validate myself and my system, I no longer go through denial phases as a collective. Self Validation is the biggest key to flourishing as not only as a system, but also a key to thriving in life. Obviously validation from other's isn't harmful in any capacity and is very much required to flourish as a person too, but you seriously shouldn't give a fuck about people online who try to invalidate your system or system structure. Let me repeat that in a more direct way...

YOU KNOW YOU BETTER THAN SOME ASSHOLE ON THE INTERNET.

You know you even better than me too! Obviously!

With self validation, I will not leave you empty handed because simply saying "do this" is not enough for this point. I'll give you a few links and resources that will help kickstart your journey into self validation while discovering your system.

Here's my self-help link masterlist for self validation [this is a link]

-> POINT ONE ALSO INCLUDES AVOIDING SYSCOURSE.

I cannot stress how bad syscourse is for you, especially in early system discovery. From what I have seen from the very few syscourse blogs I follow, as well as mutuals and friends i talk to, it is draining and harmful for your mental health. I don't personally believe in engaging with syscourse, so I avoid it when I can- maybe I'll read a post or two, but I don't throw myself or system into it. I can imagine debating can be fun, but most syscourse is not real debating. Emphasis on *most* because I have seen real debate in syscourse spaces. Sadly though, the majority of posts I see within syscourse tags are either riddled with misinformation- from both of the sides of syscourse- or are filled with unwarranted vitriol [again, from both sides]. Not to mention the MANY posts of well researched systems just tiredly correcting the same things over and over and over again. My advice? Ignore it! Just stick to the silly memes, text posts, ask games, and informational posts. If later, when you feel more secure in your system and you want to engage with it, I support that! Just avoid it in the beginning.

-> Trauma is the response to the event, NOT the event

Thankfully, I've seen this talked about more than once in the system community, but I think it's important to talk about this here too. In order to explain this point properly, we have to discuss what trauma is. So... what is trauma?

" [Psychological] Trauma is the unique individual experience of an event or enduring conditions, in which: 1. The individual's ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is overwhelmed, or 2. The individual experiences (subjectively) a threat to life, bodily integrity, or sanity. (Pearlman & Saakvitne, 1995, p. 60) " [source]

What does this mean in the context of CDDs?

For one, a lot of systems have a hard time seeing certain traumas as traumatic for whatever reason, and for two, it's important to be reminded of this fact when going through system discovery. It's very common to be dissociated from all or most of your trauma in some fashion, whether it be emotional amnesia or black out amnesia. That means it doesn't 'feel' traumatic or there just isn't anything there. As you go through system discovery, its very highly likely that you, or your alters, will uncover trauma of some kind. Whether it be examples of emotional neglect or specific traumas, but sometimes it can be hard to accept that it was trauma or that you went through whatever. It's also common for people to misconstrue that trauma is a specific type of event when it just. is not. A lot of things can be traumatic, and someone's reaction to the same trauma will even be different.

TW: Car Crash talk, but nothing graphic.

I'll give you an example. Imagine four people got into a car crash together. Each person will have a unique response to that event. The driver becomes deeply traumatized and can never step foot in a car, the front passenger finds a weird thrill in it and seeks out similar experiences, back passenger one is traumatized but able to work through it, and the final passenger walks out fine, with no trauma. This is an example of that fact- that everyone reacts differently to the same or a similar event. One person can be deeply traumatized by, let's say, bullying, but another person may learn how to not care about what people think.

Trauma is unique to you, and you alone. What you find traumatic will not be exactly the same as another person.

I will say there are exceptions I can think of where it is always traumatic for a child, but it applies there too. Each child's response to a certain trauma is unique. This point kind of lines up perfectly with the next point because the very common misconception that trauma IS the event is built in misinformation and social media comparison [there it is again].

-> You should do your own research, but keep in mind some of the information you will find about CDDs may be outdated or filled with misinformation.

This is also important when you're getting to know your system because the first step to system discovery is doing research on your diagnosis or suspected disorder. It can help with validation because it is an external source of it! Seeing a medical paper or article that describes symptoms that align with yours is super validating! Not to mention seeing more than just one? It's amazing how much it truly helps with validation! HOWEVER. I would also extend your research into other dissociative disorders [such as DR/DP, P-DID, OSDD etc], as well as Maladaptive Daydreaming, since you may find co-morbidities or that your experience lines up better with another disorder. This is not to say you AREN'T a system, but it is an important point to bring up. It can just be that you have a different type of system than you thought! For example, believing you're an OSDD system, only to discover with research that your experience aligns more with DID.

This leads into the fact that when you're doing research on DID or any other of the CDDs that exist, you are likely to encounter misinformation, whether it be outdated information in articles or reading something on tumblr that just isn't factual! This can be confusing and mess up your ideas on what a system might look like or present as. It can even affect how you view your own system! That's why you have to do your own research! Researching can even bring validation to your experience when you research CDDs!

I will provide a few cursory resources that you may want to read as you begin researching! Keep in mind that these links do NOT account for full, proper research. This is just your kickstart!

Here's the masterlist of cursory DID research links [this is a link]

I will also add that looking into other's experience with CDDs is also a part of research! It's important to look into the experiences of other systems, but keep in mind the first point regarding self validation and comparison.

-> Identity, even in CDDs, is fluid.

A very basic and simple sum up of what DID is:

DID is the result of an inability to integrate the facets of an individuals personality during early childhood, usually due to multiple trauma-based reactions [such as neglect, abuse, natural disaster, war and other adverse experiences]. (Thank u Circ for ur help!!)

... and why do I bring this up?

Within a person who has integrated, and therefor does not have a CDD, those facets all still exist. The only difference is that they are more cohesive and as one, but all the facets are are still there. Identity within EVERYONE is fluid. Things change for even singlets! As you grow as a person, your identity shifts to reflect what you have learned. Like someone might find a gender identity they hadn't heard of that feels just right or they come across a new term that fits them better than the previous one- or they use it for a while and feel it doesn't fit them in the end. Things like this happen to everyone, including individual alters. This means you may have an alter that identifies as one gender, one sexuality, and it may change- that can be REALLY confusing as you're discovering your system because you may assume that it's a new alter all together, when it isn't.

Why I wish I knew this in early system discovery is because it would've saved me A LOT of headache when trying to log and keep track of alters. It can get really draining when you assume that every little identity shift is a new alter when it just simply is not. Sometimes it is, especially in systems where the alters present as very similar to each other, but I would stick to assuming they are not an alter until proven otherwise. This really only applies when you think you are a new alter, and not when it is through internal communication because, in my opinion, internal communication is more reliable when you're tracking alters. It's good to have an alter to 'back you up' so to speak, but it won't always be like that, especially in the beginning. This kind of leads me into my next point of this point [haha... point-ception].

-> System Discovery, and systemhood, in general, is a lot of guesstimations [guess work].

I just recently saw a post about this in the CDD tags. I actually think it's by the same author of the tumblr post I linked, but I wanted to elaborate and go into it in my own perspective. A lot of discovering your system is guess work and reading 'vibes'. This applies to a lot of aspects of systemhood- from an alter's identity to you're headcount [which I will get to later in this point]. It makes everything extremely confusing, meaning it can cause you to feel confused and discouraged, and memories that surface may seem unreal. When it comes to validating yourself and your system, you need to keep in mind that, once again, you know you better than someone else. Sometimes, there won't be external validation for things that come up with your system, such as memories that seem to have 'no evidence', but my therapist gave me some advice for this; if it's affecting you as if it's real, it's best to treat it like it is. This applies to things like body and other flashbacks. Maybe even extending to you thinking you may have a system! You have to learn to validate from the inside to know that, regardless of if it's ""real"" or not, it affects you. Does that make sense? If not I can make a follow up post to better clarify.

I mentioned headcount, and I do want to elaborate on that especially. Your Alter count is a huge amount of guess work, and is never really "concrete". You will never know cut and dry the amount of alters in your system because things fluctuate and identity is fluid. You will likely see people with a listed, exact alter count, and while that is there lived experience, things even change with people you see on the internet.

-> Alters can lie

This one is possibly the most discouraging part of this post, but a very important point to bring up. Alters, despite being the result of a failure to integrate as a child, are very much like their own people [at least, when differentiated], and people can, and do, lie. This is not to say you can’t trust your alters, but rather a reminder to be mindful when interacting with your alters, especially if you’re working with a persecutor of some kind. This is one of the ways your brain defends itself within CDDs, and isn’t any sort of moral failing on you or your alters. Alters lying can look like lying about your trauma [either exaggerating or hiding it], lying about themself, lying about aspects of the system, or other different ways.

For my fellow OCD havers ;

This is something that still messes me up with my OCD. Here is my advice to you ; if there is an alter you trust more than the others, ask for their help to be a rationalizer when you're talking to alters you feel you may not trust as much as the others. This works best if it's a gatekeeper, but it's not a necessity for the alter to be one. This is not meant to be an interrogation. It's meant to help with cross referencing. One alter might say one thing to that alter, but tell you another thing. Otherwise, my advice is to remember that if it's affecting you as if it's real, it's best to treat it like it is.

-> Start keeping a nightly journal.

Whether this be in the notes app or in a physical journal, trust me, this is a good one. Not only will it help you keep a good grasp on what your days look like, but it can also encourage external communication, which is one of the most reliable ways to communicate as a system. Sometimes it can be hard to get everyone to get on board with journaling, but I encourage you to try. I would say that you try to subconciously try to build up the idea of doing things even when you don't want to- its a hard thing to do, but if I can do it, I have confidence in the majority of people who read this post... Keep the journal in a noticeable place, or if it's on your phone, make sure that it is easily accessible. There are plenty of apps that can be used to journal as a system.

What to do if journaling is not accessible ;

If for, whatever reason, you can not write in a physical journal, or type on your phone or computer, I suggest taking voice recorded journal entries. An audio log! Not only will it make you feel cool and like you're from a detective movie [or maybe that's just me lol], but it also accomplishes the same exact purpose as having a physical journal. It can even make it easier for you if you have struggles reading. HOWEVER, if you don't feel safe enough to keep an audio log, I would go towards an app that you can use [but if it's not accessible, negate this whole point].

-> Communication is hard, but once you learn the basics, it only goes up from there.

In the system community, you're mainly interacting with other systems who have already established some form of communication within their system. It can be discouraging to see so many systems who have a grasp on communication, but you don't have any.

Learning any form of system communication, external or internal, is a learning curve. HOWEVER. When you learn the basics of any communication, it only gets easier.

Here's a link to a post full of links aimed at building communication between systems [this is a link]

With that, I'm going to end the post here! I could honestly make more points, and if there's really a need, I'll reblog with additions, but I think this is good start! I hope you learned something from this long post, and feel free to send in asks if you need any clarification! I might not be speedy to answer, but I'll do my best.

And your final reminder that I'm not a medical professional, just a system trying to help other systems.

Thank you for reading my post, and I hope you have a good day/afternoon/evening!

[wiltedrosebouquet]

you know how certain resources are kept behind therapywalls/paywalls/facilities? there is a reason for that and this is why. everyone who needs the resources should have access to them, yes, but seeing the resource and getting jealous you don't have something similar WHEN YOU DONT CLINICALLY NEED IT is batshit. fucking grow up and make your own if it's such a big deal.

[cafedragons]

hi! recovered DID system here, diagnosed since 2014, blah blah all that jazz.

distress or impairment from any symptom is plenty enough to meet criteria C. interpersonal struggles? absolutely. emotional dysregulation? yes! exotrauma? yep, still distressing! even things like blurriness or things that feel like mild frustrations count under criteria C. it's vague precisely because there are so many ways to be distressed. even "i am deeply uncomfortable because i am unable to be all of my full authentic selves and have to mask" is enough or "damn, i don't remember if i did my homework, shit fuck oh no-" is enough.

even if it can be a "singlet issue", that doesn't mean your specific flavor of that issue isn't caused by DID or that it's "lesser". even if it can be a "singlet issue", it still meets the criteria! some people may struggle with emotional dysregulation due to ADHD, but that doesn't mean at all that someone can't struggle with the same thing due to DID or PTSD or any other number of disorders.

my fugue states, memory issues, and switch headaches theoretically could have been caused by a brain tumor, but that got ruled out, so it was attributed to my DID instead. yeah, a singlet can struggle with a lot of the same things as we do, but the cause is different. the only thing that matters for diagnostic criteria C is that the symptoms cause some form of distress or impairment, not that other disorders can't cause them also.

for instance, i used to struggle heavily with emotional dysregulation due to my ADHD, due to my autism, due to my bipolar, and due to my DID. they were different in how they presented, though. emotional dysregulation from ADHD usually for me presents itself in severe rejection sensitivity. from my autism, it's because i have no control over how intense my emotions can feel (even good ones) and that spirals me out of control. from my bipolar... well, it's literally a mood disorder. wacky brain chemicals. i also have a brain injury and that makes all of the emotional regulation just that much harder.

but the emotional dysregulation from my DID was moreso caused by switching, hypervigilance, shame, passive influence, fear, emotion holders getting close to front, et cetera. yes, the disorders singlets can have can cause struggles similar to mine at the surface, but i was in fact distressed by my DID.

anyway, my whole point is this: you are just as much deserving of resources, kindness, support, community, and diagnosis as anyone else here. never let anyone tell you that it's not "bad enough", because you are the judge of what impairs you or distresses you.

of course, i won't push a diagnostic label onto you, but what you're describing are very valid forms of distress and more than enough to meet the criteria. my inbox is always open if you need a listening ear or anything, and i'm happy to provide my discord as well (just not on a public post) if that's easier. i hope you have a lovely day!

We fit all of the symptoms for DID I think but the only reason I can't say we have/self diagnose with DID is because it's a disorder and the one required symptom to make a disorder a disorder is for the symptoms to cause impairment or distress in some way and honestly I don't think that's the case for us? Like sure the our alters sometimes have mental health problems that cause issues but the actual symptoms like dissociation and memory issues and the mere existence of alters aren't causing any issues for us. The problems are like interpersonal struggles and codependency and exomemories and emotional dysregulation, which can all be singlet issues too, so shrug

We don't have Dissociative Identity Disorder we just have Dissociative Identity /hj

[the-fictive-haven]

Me: oh no I don't feel good

Any and all of my caretakers: Go lay down.

Me: but there's things I should do today

Them: You need to rest, it can wait.

Me: but I'd feel better if I ate and took a shower and changed the sheets wouldn't I

Silver: FOR THE LOVE OF-