#syskid advice

[mentallyderangedrats]

Does anyone have any tips for taking care of littles/making them feel comfortable and do stuff they enjoy? It's kinda hard since I have no experience with littles + I didn't really have a goodish childhood so I'm not sure what kina stuff to show them😭

(also for reference all of our littles are 10)

[lunarsyskids]

Do any other systems write stories about daily interactions between alters?

Our inner world can be very vivid or very loose. It just depends. And so our memories of what we do there can also be really wishy-washy. I know I have two moms, but lately I’ve been feeling a bigger and bigger disconnect bc they only exist in the inner world and I don’t remember our interactions as much…

Is this a normal thing? Or are we faking having DID??? Because I’m worried this means we aren’t real because other systems talk a lot about their lives in their inner worlds and their interpersonal interactions and sometimes we have that but most of the time we don’t…

[infwctednyacifier]

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹ “ What does this plural term mean? ”

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Have you ever wondered what [insert plural term] means? Well, I’m going to explain terms within the plural community for you. Ask if you want any other terms added/want advice for something/want a further or more thorough explanation.

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹ Inner system terms

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Headspace; the home base for everybody in the system. It can be a single area, multiple areas, original, fictional, connected by portals, etc. Anybody and everybody in the system can access this space unless frontstuck or headspace doesn't exist. Headspace can be created by the core or headmates.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Siasystem; a siasystem is an umbrella term for a subsystem or sidesystem, regardless of which one they are, how they formed, how they function, etc.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Subsystem; a system within a system, which is typically caused by a headmate unintentionally or intentionally forming their own headmates. A subsystem can also just be headmates who are doubles, have split from the same headmate, or are from the same source and decided to label themself as a system.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Sidesystem; a sidesystem is a system that isn't within the original system but rather exists as a separate system or exists beside the original system. They can be connected through headmates or not connected at all and simply formed by themself. They can also be subsystems that prefer to be labelled as separate from the original system.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Dormancy; dormancy is when a headmate/s enter a state of inactivity/sleep. This can be randomly or caused by something and they can be brought out of dormancy.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ System collapse; when a system ‘collapses’ or something happens that makes the headcount drop. Often, headmates are ‘locked off’ or go into dormancy. Stress is one of the things that could lead to a collapse.

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹ Roles

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Core; the core is the original personality or rather the first being to occupy the body before the system.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Host; although most people assume the host is the core, the host is simply the headmate that fronts the most. There can be a host, multiple hosts, or no host–Every system is different.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Co-host; the co-host is the headmate/are the headmates that front the most behind the host/most frequent hosts.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Gatekeeper; gatekeepers manage who has access to fronting, memories, certain spaces in headspace, or headmates. Gatekeepers can manage all of the above or certain aspects.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Protector; protectors protect the system in certain scenarios. The types of protectors include physical, mental, emotional, social, and verbal; they can be a protector of all, certain things, or one thing but across the board, they will front in scenarios that they're supposed to protect the system from.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Syskid; system + kid = syskid. A kid in the system, which can depend on what age the system considers to be a child/little.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Systeen; system + teen = systeen. A teen within the system, between 13–17.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Caretaker; caretakers are like protectors but they care for the system instead. They can care for the system physically, mentally, and emotionally or only care for one aspect of the system.

[your-angelic-caregiver]

Why hello there, My Dear!

My name is Aziraphale! I have been sent by the almighty to assist in taking care of regressors. I would be glad to talk and take care of each and everyone one of you little miracles however I must first set some ground rules. Surely you understand, yes?

DNI LIST

Anti-agere, petre, etc.

ABDL, DDLG, DDLX, Kink, NSFW ACCS, "MDNI" accounts, MIK, if your account is not fit for a child

Religion-centric accs (blog owner has religious trauma, idm if you have a religion you follow id just rather not discuss it/interact with it)

Homophobes, racists, transphobes, TERFS, anti-xenogender/neopronouns

Thinspo, ED glorifiying

If you think regressors need to fit into a certain "mold" to be true regressors

Anti mogai

People under 13

Generally mean people

BYI LIST

Owner of this blog is 19 years old!

Owner is also a Flip so I may not be able to get to requests as quick as possible

Owner is in college so sometimes the blog may have long hiatuses to get college work done

Owner doesnt have a little or cg! And if they get to know you would love to become either! So if we are mutuals please feel free to talk and ask

Owner communicates a lot through discord so if you want to know me and talk to me more we can friend eachother there!

Owner is Afro-Hispanic!

Owner is Transmasc and Nonbinary questioning!

I dont know too much about systems but I would be very willing to learn!

Please do not attempt to flirt with me, even in charachter

All types of littles are welcome! Syskids and littles, padded littles, vent littles, flips, and even caregivers if they need advice or just another person to talk to!

My main tumblr RP acc is @ask-jamtheimp ! Please also send asks there too!

My personal regression acc is @baby-blues-playroom

And that is all! See you later Tickety-Boo!

ASK INBOX TOTAL:

0

Anons claimed: 🐍, ⚠️, 🎧,🐦‍⬛🥀, 🐳, 🦄,🐱, Nightingale, 🍁, 🪽🖤, 🦌, 🪼

[richierambles]

Cartman's system: headmate list 2.0

Been thinking thoughts idk

This list would be their alters when their body's 15yo (sorry it's long I might make a shorter one later-)

Thanks to @mischieviousmusic and @everythingwasnormalhere for standing my infodumping about this au XD

Littles:

Anne:

6 yo

She/her

Loves playing tea party (main fronter during it)

When it's the other littles playing, she mainly roleplays as the Polly Prissipants doll

Sometimes cofronts when they're at class, but isn't allowed to talk to their classmates

Almost always at cofront when Love's fronting

After they come out, she's closest to Stan and Butters

They're not out to Karen, but Anne's spent time with her too

Whenever she talks to Kenny she asks him how she's doing<3

Ginger in headspace (it felt important to mention this don't ask why)

Finn:

8yo

He/him

Main fronter almost all the time they're playing

Roleplays as most of the other toys when they're playing tea party though

Loves playing cowboys

Frienemies with Artemis, they'll either hate each other or be best friends all the time

After they come out, he's closest to Kenny (but will much rather hang out with his sysmates)

Looks and acts like a Typical White Boy™

Artemis:

5yo

He/they

Introjected from Artemis Clyde Frog (the stuffed animal), but lost almost all his connection to it since the day it died (and exclusively goes by Artemis, hates his other names)

Roleplays himself when playing with the other syskids, never a main fronter while playing

Spent a long while (2-3 years) dormant, only came back after they came out, one day when the system was hanging out with their friends

The gang were all like "wtf who's this idk this alter-" but finally figured it out (mainly Kyle did)

SUPER close to Kyle

Actually whenever Artemis fronts they'll text Kyle first thing no matter what

Also close-ish to Butters

Has dark skin in the innerworld, his iw appearance is human but he always wears a frog hat

Hosts:

Sam:

15yo

he/him

The meaner, stronger Cartman

Is also a protector besides a host

Split from Collins on the Kenny Dies episode

He's the one who used fetuses to built the pizza place because otherwise the guys would've thought he was weak (his thought process is fucking crazy)

One of the few alters who remembers Kenny's deaths

He also knows there's something weird going on in their brain, but has no idea what

Used to cleaning up after everyone else's messes (like acting as if Jenni was Mitch Conners and as if all the Henniffer Lopez thing was just a joke (which backfired so bad...))

After they come out, he hangs out with everyone the same way they always do

Insys, he's trying to get close to 8

^ completely idolatrizes Hitler

Huge on the antisemitism (and general bigotry tbh)

Collins:

14yo

he/him

Split from Sam on the Kenny dies episode

He did want to use the fetuses to save Kenny, and he does consider Kenny his best friend

But he switched out when they got the news Kenny was dead (he was unable to cope with that) and so that's why Sam did what he did

Acts much more like a normal kid than Sam

Actually he's pretty normal for South Park standards

After they come out, he's best friends with Kenny but still friends with the rest of the gang as usual

Not as bad as Sam but definitely not good either

Kyle doesn't hate him as much as he hates Sam (but he'd never say this)

Cartman-sonas (idk how else to call this category):

Irick:

120yo

he/him

Grand Wizard King

Gatekeeper

Fronts mainly while playing SoT (but not every time they do)

Definitely their most responsible alter

^ the others often ask him for advice and stuff

Mildly connected to source

The first time he fronted it was during a SoT game, he found all of it normal (his memories are of the SoT universe) but when they stopped playing he was so weirded out by everything since he's used to a fantasy world

"Cartman stop rping we finished 2 hours ago" "who trapped those guys inside that box 😰" (they were watching TV 💀)

Now (after they came out) they don't play SoT as much, so he only takes full control on special occasions or when Kenny is on a Princess shift (otherkin Kenny 💯)

Only actually close to Kenny because of that, doesn't talk much to anyone else

Grim:

18yo

it/raccoon neos/he

The Coon

Physical protector

Formed because of Cartman's hero persona, but that was long before they started going out as The Coon (they made the first concept for that sona when they were around 4-5yo)

But one day it fronted and decided why not go out fight crime

The others didn't know about this at first

They just knew they had a weird fixation on that "Coon" hero (which, they didn't know where they saw him either but wtv)

But one day Sam decided to go out as Coon (in a rp manner) and found he looked exactly like him

Grim fronted in the middle of it and yk Coon'd for a bit

And Sam did remember that time

So what made more sense is that he'd been The Coon since the beginning

(which wasn't exactly a lie-)

After their syscovery, they assumed Grim formed after they started going out as The Coon

Grim has never confirmed nor denied this

Every single time Kenny's in his Mysterion shift fur gets yeeted to front just so they can argue for a while 💀

Talks to pretty much all the gang but mainly Mysterion'd Kenny

Gets called a furry 24/7 by both his headmates and Kenny (and the rest of the gang sometimes, not as much tho). He fucking hates it.

Adrian:

16yo

he/him

Sexual protector

Metrosexual Cartman

But he's a full-on homosexual

Cartman's metrosexual phase lasted longer than anyone else's because "it's not a phase mom it's who I am 🙄💅"

It was a phase for everyone but Adrian

He's still in that phase

Has hooked up with half the system and even a couple guys out of it

Nothing serious though

Before they came out he respected Cartman's image and didn't flirt with their friends, but after they did there's not a conversation in which he's not telling them the gayest most explicit shit ever

The gang are between confidence boost and absolute utter cringe fucking kill me pls

Theodore:

17yo

he/him

Persecutor (misguided protector) + academic

Formed during Tsst, he's the nice submissive version of Cartman

Would let basically anyone boss him around

Good intentions all the time

Won't do anything bad on purpose

All his submissiveness has gotten them in trouble though

To the point the others try to avoid him fronting as much as they can

He switched in when they were going to kill Liane though, that's good

Goes exclusively by Theodore, some people have tried to call him Theo but he hates that

After they come out, the gang are kinda uncomfortable with him, but Butters warms up to him eventually

(the reason why they're uncomfortable is because Theodore has such a Not Cartman way to act, and also because he's kinda really fucking lame)

(also a bit because Sam has told them all about the times Theodore has messed up)

Sunny/Love

Ageless

love-related neos

Cupid Me

Sexual protector

Hypersexual

When heart's at front, heart'll flirt with Kyle so much it's insane

Is it because fluff's in love with him? Is it because fluff ships kyman? Is it because of a secret third reason? Who knows

Btw everyone else (/sys) was so confused about it at first, like, "...wdym I was acting weird yesterday? I was flirting with you?? And calling you Ky-boo??? Good one dude but quit the bullshit I never did that"

Then when they had the syscovery nobody associated that with some alter doing it

Until a few months after they came out Kyle connected the dots and almost instantly told Sam (who was so pissed off at Sunny 😭)

Love's mostly close to the girls (Nichole, Bebe, even Wendy), but a lot closer to Collins and Anne

Also 💘's never stopped flirting with Kyle, and will never stop (slay)

Introjects:

Eight/8/H:

56yo

he/him

Hitler factive, really connected to source

Protector + Prosecutor

Formed soon after they learnt about Hitler's existence

Fronts at times in which they have to act commanding, such as The Passion Of The Jew or Ginger Kids

Also fronted during some of Tsst, and was who planned (and tried) to kill Liane

After they came out, he didn't front much in front of their friends (he found them lame)

But one day something Bad happened when they woke up and he got triggered to front, so he had to go to school

When the gang noticed he was acting different, they asked who he was

Well, Kyle did, but Eight refused to answer

Stan asked again and H told them his name was Adolf Hitler

Kyle refused to even look at him the rest of that day (and rightfully so)

When someone else switched in, Kyle told them that if 8 didn't at least change his name he'd never talk to any of them ever again, so that's why he goes by Eight/8/H (that was the most he'd accept to change it)

When he's at front (not often) Kyle has to resist the urge to beat him up (he doesn't wanna hurt some of the others), but to find them both in the same room is practically imposible

Jenni:

25yo

she/her

Jenniffer Lopez factive

Talks in spanish sometimes, it's horribly incorrect but she doesn't care

She's the one who does most of the drag

Also the other one (besides Adrian) who hooks up with random guys

She's mostly at cofront rather than full front (talking with the hand because it "looks less weird"), but she's been at full front sometimes too :3

Fucking hates Mitch

After they come out, she hangs out with Bebe sometimes (but not really too often, she'll much rather go with celebrities)

Mitch Conner:

31yo

they/he

Sam first made him up so he could "get rid of" Jenni without looking too insane

But then they actually split

Jenni and Mitch fucking hate each other, Jenni because he steals her identity and Mitch because he thinks she's annoying

Whenever they front they'll find out everything they can about the other alters (and everyone in general) just so they can get stuff from them later

Kyle is so annoyed by his existence for some reason

Other (idk where else to put her soo):

Mae:

21yo

she/her

Persecutor

Originally split when they were a little kid (3-5), to take care of them when Liane didn't (she was kinda neglectful back then)

Also to have them grow up in a hopefully healthier environment

But she started obsessing over growing up and maturing to the point she actually made them unsafe

Such as in 1%, when she mutilated their stuffed animals and almost killed them (by burning down their house) in the process

Now she almost never fronts, and only Irick knows where she is and is allowed to talk to her

[circular-bircular]

hi yall! a while back yall had some posts talking abt being a system & a teacher and how yall balance that with syskids & such. i wasnt able to scroll back and find the posts im thinking of, but someone in a similar situation was asking for advice in relations to syskids on discord. do you have a tag for this topic, can you link relevant posts, or maybe just give some advice here? thank yall so much 🫶🏻

(Check the reblogs in about an hour— I’ll reblog to my main system account that I use instead of this one!!!)

[plurlpositivity]

I liked ur post about not ignoring alters, but i had a question. It might be kinda dumb so im sorry about that, but like.

Okay so I’ve been dxed with did for over a year now, and while its still really helpful to be seeing someone for integrative treatment, its not something i can do more than once a week or once every two weeks.

I’ve got this alter who I’ve got complete blackout amnesia from and when i come back to I’ll find myself in really dangerous situations. I’m trying not to ignore this alter, leaving nice notes, getting food I think they might like, music, videos, trying to cooperate. It won’t work. It’s not like that alter is a persecutor I don’t think? They’re just a kid.

I guess my question is like. Does trying to cooperate ever actually help? I’ve been trying for a while and this alter keeps trying to hurt me and my life. I just want to know if it’s something im not doing better. A lot of people have told me that if I was a better host to my alters I wouldn’t be so miserable, but im trying really hard and nothing is helping.

Maybe I shouldn’t have sent this anon but ur always really positive so I thought it could help.

hi! trying to cooperate will always help in my personal opinion, but this sounds like something you should discuss with both your system and your therapist. to start off, if you have anymore alters that can help you cooperate and manage this specific syskid, talk to them! they can help. for example, a gatekeeper would help keeping them out of front. a caregiver can talk to them and explain that their behavior is wrong! this is definetly something you should discuss with your therapist if you haven't yet. both your therapist and your system can help! and no worries, sometimes alters just won't cooperate, it's not your fault, which is why i recommend talking to your therapist and the rest of your system about it. you're not a ''bad host'' because you're struggling. everyone struggles, especially when an alter is trying to do something bad. my main suggestion as i stated is to cooperate with your system and your therapist. i will have to ask you to not resent this syskid however. as you said, they are just a kid. remember, ignoring them will only make things worse. once they are there, they'll always be there.

i hope this helped! if anyone has more advice for this anon, i'd appreciate it

[headmate-ideas]

hello there! can we have a omnisexual nb fem alter with the energy of 🎀🐱🍓🍷🪩 that's a mother figure and uses formal language? ty 👉👈

[Brought to you by: Mods Venn and Vyvian!]

🐱 HEADMATE TEMPLATE 🪩

✦ Name(s): Violeta, Theresa, Yolanda ✦ Pronouns: she/her, they/them, it/its, xe/xer/xers/xerself, zi/zir/zirs/zirself ✦ Species: cat anthro ✦ Age: age slider (42-62) ✦ Role(s): mother headmate, comforter, researcher, manager, chef, babysitter/curadare ✦ Labels: omnisexual, non-binary, femme, demiwoman, agender ✦ Xenos: strawberries, ribbons, glitter ✦ Interests/likes: art history, high fashion, organization ✦ Dislikes: inconsistency ✦ Music taste: disco, folk pop, classical music ✦ Aesthetic(s): 1970s vintage, renaissance aesthetic, dark academia ✦ Objectum attraction(s): buildings ✦ Kins: butterflies, love, daisies ✦ Emoji proxy: 🐱🪩 ✦ Details:

Violeta is an anthropomorphic Siamese cat who dresses in a 1970s vintage style and regards the other headmates of the system as her kittens. She offers them advice and emotional support, and she teaches them about the world and life skills by seeking out educational materials or videos about life management. She is especially fond of cooking and likes preparing food for the system. Violeta has a formal demeanor and does not use very casual patterns of speech. While she is gentle and caring, she can sometimes slightly lose patience with people when they act differently than they said they would. However, she is always gentle with the syskids and with the age regressors when they are regressed, and she enjoys taking care of them.

[These can be edited and changed as needed, and headmates will almost definitely not turn out EXACTLY as described.]

[cg-sunnyd]

Kind of venty/sad, so 100% okay if you can't/won't read/respond to this, but y'all have been instrumental to our littles' happiness and self-acceptance, so I figured I'd let you know...

🌙🖤

Our therapist has recommended that we don't watch Bluey until we've learned how to safely process and handle the grief of not having that kind of family dynamic (loving, accepting, guiding), ect

In the context of us and our current state (very disordered traumagenic system), it is something we agree with and will be doing - though 🐶🩵 will still be engaging with fictional caregiver content with Chilli

If you have... maybe advice? even regression oriented, about how to accept bad family history and reteaching ourselves, it'd be really appreciated, but of course, no pressure

We'll still be sending in messages and requests and engaging in little/syskid things, that's not changing - just no Bluey until we can do so safely

hi! i'm very glad to helping to support the little ones of your system - it makes me very happy to see their messages, even if i don't answer right away :).

as for advice, i'm not entirely sure i have much that might be useful, or at least anything that's better than what you discuss and share with your therapist. it's something we ourselves actively struggle with as well, unfortunately.

i think one of the biggest things we try and keep in mind ourselves is that no matter what, it wasn't deserved and it's not your fault. this can be really hard to remember, and we ourselves struggle with family-related issues. it's also okay to have complicated feelings: you can love a family member, and still dislike or hate how they might treat you or have treated you. them being nice does not negate the hurt that they may have caused.

it might not really be my place, but i'm really proud of you all for the fact that you/you all talk with someone and to have that space to try and work through things. it's not always easy to do such a thing.

i'm more than delighted to still get messages, whatever you'd like to share and from whoever! and 🐶🩵 is also more than welcome to come share about her and her fictional caregiver chili!

i hope you all have a wonderful evening or morning <:).

[lilymelrose]

Littles and Middles Resources Server

Welcome to Littles and Middles Resources! We're a resource server for all SFW age regressors, caregivers, and systems with syskids. We have: - A section with resources for littles, including Tumblr pages, child friendly YouTube channels and TV shows, educational and fun websites, and places online to buy little gear. - A section with resources for middles/older kids. - A section for caregivers, including more Tumblr pages, tips and advice, bonding activities, and gift ideas. - A safe place where everyone can share resources and our list can grow. - Areas to chat. Come and join us and help our community and resources grow!

[chemicalcarousel]

Found this system september thingy, guess we'll do it:

1) DID, OSDD, P-DID or C-DID?

Probably DID

2) Current alter count?

We know of 9 rn

3) Alter count at discovery?

3 lmfao

4) Finally Fusion or Function Multiplicity?

Don't care, we just wanna heal in whatever way is possible. Since we don't know if we can ever get the specialised therapy we need, we are just striving to function rn

5) What roles are you heavy in?

We don't use alter roles really

6) How's your communication?

Not amazing lmfao

7) Are you diagnosed, self diagnosed, or unofficially diagnosed?

I guess a mix of informal "diagnosis" and self dx? My last therapist/psychiatrist never said "DID" specifically, just that I had alters and shit. But I think I fit the DID criteria the best. Still waiting on a new psychiatrist tho

8) Are you in therapy?

Not currently

9) What alter type are you heavy in?

Uhh dunno lol. We don't separate our alters by type much and since we only know of 9 rn it feels weird generalising. Like are we fictional introject heavy if we technically have 4 fictional introjects out of 9? Are we syskid heavy if we have +4 kid alters out of 9? We don't know lol

10) Overt or covert?

Mostly covert in the sense that we can kinda get away with being "different" lol. But like... people notice that we switch, they just don't know it's a switch bc they don't know what DID is

11) Does handwriting differ?

Not much? Nothing we notice, but we don't write by hand much

12) Do others know of your system?

Yeah, we try to be more open with others, but usually we just say we have CPTSD if they gotta know about our disability for accommodation purposes

13) One thing you'd wish the community would accept?

Idk what's going on in the "community". I feel like there's not one community, but multiple different ones. I wish people would actually see CDDs as trauma disorders and not "silly people in my head" disorders, I guess? Like see alters as parts of a whole n shit

14) Advice for singlets?

Don't learn about DID and related disorders from tiktok lmfao. Also don't be weird about introjects or child alters. And please understand that we have a disability, so don't take it personally if we have symptoms of said disability, such as forgetfulness or flashbacks

15) Your go to thing for flashbacks?

Uh, isolate myself and just "surf the wave". Like I'll just remind myself it's gonna pass and I just have to survive the feelings for a limited amount of time. It depends on the flashback tho and uhh... we never learned how to deal with them in therapy lol

16) Your favourite educational accounts?

The CTAD Clinic on YouTube! They are a clinic specialising in Complex Trauma and Dissociation and they make educational videos about it on YouTube for both pwCDDs and therapists!

17) Any shared spins?

Uh, we think we might also be autistic, but we dunno if we share any special interests. I guess psychotraumatology might be a spin and I think multiple of us are interested in that?

18) A role you coined?

Uh we don't really use roles, but I guess we have a designated eeper lol. We have only a few alters who feel comfortable enough to sleep, so ig that's kind of a role? But they do other things to

19) Are you LGBTQ+ heavy?

We collectively identify as queer, but like most of our alters literally do not care lol. But I think all of us are aroace-spec and like three of us are gay in some way

20/21) Unpopular OSDDID opinion?

Idk

22/23) Other comorbid disorders?

Possibly autism and/or ADHD. Maybe a PD? I guess anxiety and depression too, but we kinda see them as symptoms of having trauma idk. We also have some OCD-like stuff, but like... not too bad idk. Maybe it's just the possible autism that looks like OCD. We haven't really thought about it much

24/25) Is your inner world large or small?

We don't have one

26/27) How often do you switch?

Idk every hour or so?

28/29) What's your stance on sourcemates?

You're not your source so who cares? Like the concept is dumb and anti recovery (maybe this is my unpopular opinion, but honestly dunno what's the "community consensus" on these things)

30) Share something an alter made

We embroidered this onto a cap I don't remember who did it but it's funny

[multiplicity-positivity]

hii!! is it ok to ask for advice for anyone about how to have a littlespace in our room without it being overly obvious?? bcz we wanna inv ppl to our house but also want a space for our littles w/o people asking questions

Hiya! I (Ralsei :3) am a caretaker in our system, and I can let y’all know what our system has done to create a safe space for littles/syskids when they front!

We have a Littles Box! It’s just a cardboard box that we’ve filled with toys, activities, and other fun stuff for our syskids to interact with when they front. A Littles Box would be great for littles and syskids, but also for headmates and systems who age regress too!

Here’s what’s inside our box:

- Toys: Hot Wheels, plastic horses and dinos, Play Doh, a few Beanie Babies, a case of blocks, a play food/dining set

- Creative: a special diary just for the littles, coloring books, markers and crayons, scratch paper (just old scraps of paper that can be reused for drawing)

- Comfort and support: A special blankie, a paci, a baby rattle, a sippy cup, a communication card ring with pictures

Our littles have decorated the inside of the box with pictures of puppies, bugs, flowers, outer space, and fruits and veggies! But from the outside, it just looks like a plain old cardboard box >w< this allows our littles to have a space to keep things just for them, and the whole system plus our partner system know that the box is just for the syskids!

If you create a Littles Box, you can put inside anything that would be fun or helpful for your littles when they’re fronting! It doesn’t have to have specifically what ours has - get creative and include things specific to your own system! :3

Our one warning would be to not include snacks in your box, unless you’re sure they’ll be sealed in an airtight container or eaten quickly. It wouldn’t do for your snacks to spill and ruin anything in the box, or to spoil before they’re eaten! >_<

As long as your littles are careful to clean up after themselves, this can help ensure they have a space for themselves that’s inconspicuous to outsiders! Our littles like “Ten Second Tidy” from The Big Comfy Couch and “Clean Up the House” from Bear in the Big Blue House to help get them in the cleaning zone! >w<

We hope this helps! And we hope y’all can have fun putting together a box for your littles so they can safely play and express themselves! :33

💚 Ralsei and 🐢 Kip

[lifeneedsrot]

⚓️listen up buccaneers! This ship has been real mismanaged lately, but I run a tight ship here. Our main account is starshipsys, and this is our VENT and NSFW account. Expect lots of barely censored triggering topics on this account. I’m talking NSFW as in gore, not porn, but there will be horny textposts. That’s not what this account used to be, but it’s what it is now!

Our system used to be split in half, with one half on the other account, and the other half on this account. That’s not how it’s gonna work anymore. We’re ONE crew, and we won’t be having any mutinies here. I will listen to all crewmates but ultimately I’M the guy in charge, got it? This account is for ANYONE in the system to use. It’s where we put the gross stuff that we don’t want to share on our main. If we’re following you, either you post stuff we want to see, or you’re a friend we trust.

We are proship and proendo. I don’t give a shit what you believe in or how your system formed. I don’t give a shit what you’re into because we’re into weird shit as a coping mechanism, and we’re not about that gatekeeping lifestyle. We are willing to befriend ANYONE as long as they’re respectful and don’t cause us harm. I don’t care what you’ve done or believed. I only care who you are now and how you treat me, my system, the people close to me, and the people close to you. Close meaning both in proximity and in intimacy. We don’t bother engaging with obvious bait and arguments that would get nowhere, so don’t bring discourse here.

With all that being said, here’s a list of alters and what to expect, as well as the ideal way of interacting with them. We are not used to the tumblr tagging system, but I’m gonna try and get us to start tagging things as “[insert alter name] starshipsys” to make it possible to filter certain alters out or search for certain alters in particular. Unless otherwise specified, all alters enjoy being talked to about whatever they’re saying.

🧤Agate, they/them. 8. Childhood trauma venting, general fears and anxiety, sadposting. Please talk to them, avoid sexual subjects and violent subjects.

🪩Boppie, they/them. 21. Wanting to do drugs, wanting to go to parties, generally very bad life advice and unhealthy coping mechanisms. They won’t be able to have a very deep conversation with you, but love talking to people.

♠️Cole, he/it. 21. Venting about lost relationships within the system, references to self harm or alters attempting to self harm, weird sexual stuff about being turned on by sharp objects piercing soft flesh. He holds a lot of autistic symptoms, and doesn’t talk much.

🐰Daisy, she/her. 7. Hypersexual syskid, yes they are real, but we’re not comfortable sharing anything she wants to say anyway. You can only talk to her if she talks to you first, and you cannot engage in any of her sexual nature unless you have our simplyplural and a safe alter is fronting alongside her. Trying to sexualize her without explicit permission from a safe alter and HER will result in us never talking to you ever again.

🔭Estella, she/they. 21. Mostly just frustration with classes. Feel free to talk to her.

🐁Fobi, it/she. Nonhuman adolescent. Panic attacks, triggering situations we experience in real life, irrational behavior in an attempt to prevent abuse from happening again (IE disfiguring yourself out of fear that being attractive will result in sexual assault). Please try to talk to it and calm it down, if Fobi is fronting we are probably in an immediate danger.

🦇Grim, it/any. Nonhuman adolescent. Romanticization of abusive behaviors, fawning stress response. It wants to be abused in every way. Try to reassure it that it can be loved without being abused.

🌺Haven, she/he. 21. Mostly just rambles about the people we love, affection towards friends, maybe even soft hornyposting. She likes talking to people, especially if you’re our friend. He might even make a post about you if you talk to him.

✏️Indigo, they/them. 12. Probably vents about not being able to achieve our dreams and life goals we had when younger. Get them talking about a special interest and they’ll adore you. Sex repulsed, don’t bring that up.

🎊Jynx, she/any. Ageless entity. God complex posting, torture threats, and domination fantasies (sexual and nonsexual). She is actually friendly, despite how mean she presents herself as, and desperate for the approval of others.

🍠Kakxyl, he/any. Ageless entity. He is the alter that changes the roles of other alters, and will talk about everything all of the other alters talk about, but from an outside perspective. He won’t engage in conversation if he’s busy.

🫐Lynx, he/any. Ageless entity. Not much, really. Probably won’t post at all. He can barely communicate, and generally him fronting means we’re experiencing a wide variety of emotions, specifically from an emotional attack on either the inside or outside.

⚓️Maverick, they/he. 21. Goals for the future and plans, as well as general venting about daily frustrations. Assume they’re talking to another alter unless they’re talking directly to you.

🍥Nyan, he/she. 6-8. Whatever kids complain about when they don’t have trauma, idk. Please talk to them and try to cheer them up. If you bring up anything traumatic, though, we will be very upset with you. He probably won’t even be allowed on this account anyway.

🚀Oscar, he/him. Nonhuman adult. Vents about how awful all of our relationships and the people we love are. He specifically holds the splitting towards hate symptoms of BPD whereas Haven and Grim hold splitting towards love. Don’t take what he says too seriously, he is intentionally trying to push you away because he is afraid you’ll abuse us. Don’t talk to him unless you’re in a sane enough mental state to deal with him.

🩵Present, she/it. Nonhuman adult. Sad posts about our relationship with an ex, and attempts to comfort other alters. She likes when people talk to her, but can be a bit of a downer.

🥀Quasiren, they/them. 17-19. Venting about relationships in an attempt to build a codependent relationship with someone. They love when people talk to them.

🥩Raptorse, it/its. Nonhuman adult. Vorny (vore+horny) posting, hunger. Doesn’t hold conversations very well unless they involve food.

🎆Starbound, she/any. Ageless entity. Rage posting, threats to hurt herself or others, general aggression. If you weren’t the reason she fronted, feel free to talk to her. If you are the reason she fronted, you should probably wait about thirty minutes to an hour after she starts fronting. You can ask her if you made her front.

🪱Tazelein, he/any. Ageless entity. Torture posting, threats to torture, horny posting, romanticization of literally every bad thing ever. Yes, every bad thing ever. Yes, even that. He doesn’t represent our “true feelings” about anything, he mostly just provides a source to point to for our intrusive thoughts. He will say some fucked up shit to you, but he loves people very much, and hates death.

🕊️Utopia, they/them. Ageless entity. Weird philosophical or religious nonsense. Will probably try to convert you to whatever religion they’re making up right now.

🦠Vitriol, it/its. Nonhuman adult. Hatred for the system, disgust for all alters, will talk about everything we’ve ever done wrong. Wants to push people away to protect them from us. Won’t want to talk to you, most likely, unless you directly triggered its fronting.

🕸️Webber, they/any. Ageless entity. Abandonment issues, trust issues, soft bondage, probably some hornyposting. Will love talking to you, but tends to ramble and send very long messages.

🔥Xray, he/him or xe/xim/xis. Primordial god. Generic and vague complaints about our daily life. Likes to cut to the chase in conversations and be very direct.

🌲Yarrow, they/it or yey/yem/yeir. Primordial god. Long rambles about various alter’s mental states, similar to what Kakxyl may post, but with the purpose of informing outsiders rather than changing the perspectives of alters. Yey want someone to listen to and talk with, but might stop replying spontaneously if yey get particularly invested in documenting something.

🌊Zenith, ze/zer/zers. Primordial god. Positive things, sexual things, and general bragging about our life and our successes. Ze loves people and would love to talk.

As a general rule, only talk to alters that you’re comfortable talking to. No, this is not roleplay. We have disabling DiD, and yes it is diagnosed. If you do something to upset us, we will tell you directly before we publicly vent about it.

[problematicfactive]

do you have any advice for a system who comes from a problematic political background?

some of us have problematic sources (including factives) because we used to be pretty racist and isolated growing up..... we aren't proud of having a conceptive of an anti-semitic stereotype for example but it's what our brain decided to do as a child.

we still have some prejudices that we are trying to overcome but we also have race-related ocd so we definitely don't feel like a good person for having a brain like this....

for example we got banned from something a few months ago because a racist syskid very forcibly fronted in a discord server after seeing people say n***a and she started saying the hard-r n-word because we used to be like that as a child (and she was very scared and upset when she got in trouble for that.) she also holds ocd symptoms and thinks slurs in my head which can be pretty upsetting.

and there's just this thing of...what are we even supposed to do about this? we need a place to heal and it's hard to do that when we're worried that something problematic is going to happen?

The biggest thing to do is understand that while for you it's just something you're trying to get past, for other people, that stuff is harmful. Like genuinely and actually upsetting beyond just a word that is mean.

If you can't keep members from saying legitimately harmful things like that online, you need to stay offline until you can. Sorry. Her being scared and upset is, in my opinion, as someone that specific slur is angled towards, well deserved. And if she's just a kid then it's your job to teach her that's wrong. If you know she's capable of doing that then there should be no reason she thinks it's okay.

As for the in-head slurs. I understand the experience. Slurs I can't reclaim are very ingrained in the dialect of this body, and though I never say them out loud, I do have to admit that even I have thought them. And It is an upsetting experience. But thoughts aren't hurting anyone. For me, the slurs are technically intrusive thoughts as they pain me to have, it may be the same for you.

What I'm mainly worried about is you allowing members of your system to think saying hard R slurs in public spaces around people who clearly aren't comfortable with it is okay. I don't know where youre going to find a space capable of helping you learn through that, but frankly, that isn't what this blog is for. This is a space to prove problematic factives aren't as bad as they are stereotypically portrayed. We aren't a rehabilitation center for people with bigoted ideals, and we don't allow them in our spaces. I'm not really sure who directed you to us, but my blog is specifically for issues relating to factives of problematic people. And as I've said before, my support ends if those individuals are problematic themselves.

[mystic-sanctuary]

A (Hopefully) Helpful Guide to Syskids

A very quick disclaimer here: This is based on my own experiences as a Caretaker with the kids we have had and currently have within our own system. Some of, or even many of these things may not hold true for other systems.

Written by; Bronya (Admin, Archivist, Caretaker)

[GUIDE BELOW THE CUT.] [WARNING: VERY VERY LONG.]

Topics covered below;

Some Miscellaneous Basics

Getting to know your SysKid

Caring for your SysKid

Caring for your SysKid - Headspace Specifics

Navigating SysKids and Trauma

Okay, with that out of the way! Dealing with SysKids can be challenging, just like dealing with outside children, though with a few extra challenges because these children are in a system and that can make just about anything challenging at times!

Each SysKid can bring their own unique challenges, so there's no real "every SysKid can be handled like [x]" type situation here. The very first step to learning how to care for your SysKid(s), however, is to get to know them!

Their interests, their dislikes, and for lack of better phrasing, their maturity level. Do not expect your SysKids to always be 100% like their age group. Remember, they have a much older brain now, so for example, your 4 year old SysKid may have a wider understanding of things than, say, a bodily 4 year old might. That doesn't mean they won't still react to those things like a 4 year old would, though! Another 4 year old SysKid, however, may be a lot more similar to a bodily 4 year old. There's no way to tell for sure until you interact with and get to know them!

Our system is both Polyfragmented and Gateway, which means I have seen many SysKids come and go, and we currently have quite a few as well!

Some of them behave more like their age group than others, some seem to fluctuate between an age group (for example, one of them is in the 4-6 range). Some SysKids are nonverbal or some form of altverbal.

Unless otherwise specified by your SysKid, it's absolutely okay to treat your SysKid like an outside kid- as long as you aren't rude or patronizing about it. Yes, I know, "why would I be that way to a kid", but unfortunately I've seen this happen.

Syskids also have their own various boundaries and capabilities. We have a few SysKids who are able and allowed to front alone, provided we are at home.

This isn't plausible for everybody, of course, due to various personal situations the system may have at home, and not all SysKids are able to front on their own anyway.

There are also systems who cannot control their switches which can lead to a SysKid in front alone, and to all of you, you are not a bad person for ""letting this happen"", it isn't your fault if you can't control your switches. Tips for you& include leaving notes for your SysKid if need be (we have a personal discord server we often use for this, for example, which has exclusively us in it), or letting close, trusted friends know about the SysKid in advance so they can help if they're able and needed.

In the case of the two SysKids we allow to front on their own, we know they are responsible/"mature" enough to follow the rules we've set for them without needing to be reminded/regularly enforced/etc.

These rules are pretty basic and by large focused entirely upon their safety: Who they can and can't talk to, discord servers they can and can't talk in, websites we know are safe for them vs websites we aren't sure about or know have inappropriate ads on them that occasionally manage to worm their way past our adblockers.

We also make sure they know, at all times, SysMates they can pull to front or call for help when or if they need it. For us, this includes myself, the Protectors, and a few others who are either Caretakers or have good parental or caretaker-y inclinations. This is something that, while they've both teasingly told us we don't have to keep reminding them of, we often keep reminding them of before or while they front.

"So, how do I get to know my SysKid(s)?"

Find out what they're interested in and spend time with them! Spending time with SysKids is very important, in my experiences. This may include playing with them in headspace, depending on your systems headspace situation, or even watching movies with them while fronting together!

Some SysKids may be shy- they may open up more as they get comfortable around you, but they also might not! If your SysKid is shy, you may need to approach them with more caution and gentleness than other SysKids might require. Some SysKids may not adjust as quickly as others to their new surroundings, either.

Think of... Getting a new pet, for example. They don't know you, your home is new to them, and that can scare them. You have to get them to warm up to you slowly; no rushed movements and soft attempts to initiate play times, etc.

Running with this same analogy, some new pets don't have a problem with any of that, and are in fact just excited to see all their new surroundings and meet all the new people around them!

SysKids have as much variation! For explanation on why I went with this analogy, I know a lot of folks do not have experience with children outside of Systems, for any number of reasons (not having younger siblings, never babysitting for others, etc.) and getting a new SysKid can be just as unique and even as challenging an experience as getting a new pet!

"How can I care for my SysKid?"

One SysKid can have a different set of needs than another, so the answer to this question can vary quite heavily. However, a few examples I can give are:

1. Spending time with them! This can range from coloring together to watching a movie with them! If you live with another system who has SysKids or live with somebody who is comfortable interacting with SysKids, you could even arrange playdates with them.

2. Giving them snacks or treats while they're in front, or even in headspace if your headspace functionality allows for this. Everybody's headspace is different, and some don't have a headspace at all, so this may not be possible outside of front and that's okay!

3. Like the above, depending on your systems headspace situation, this one may not be possible outside of front. However, this one also depends on your SysKid! Some SysKids can get grumpy after a little while without sleep. If you have multiple SysKids, this can get a bit challenging because you'll be trying to arrange multiple naps at once- not everybody is going to want to lay down at the same time.

4. Depending on your systems communication and the verbality of your SysKid (we have a kid who can only say one word, for example), you can also ask your Kiddo what they need or would like to do.

Obviously with this one, you may have to use your own judgement. We've all been kids at one time or another, and SysKids are often no exception to the "wanting to do things they see 'big kids' doing" mindset.

And of course, as with any SysMate, do not force your SysKid out of their comfort zone. This can be damaging to any SysMate (and your relationship with them), so of course it can be just as much if not more so with SysKids. If it's a situation where it's something the body needs that the SysKid is uncomfortable doing and your fronting situation allows you to: do it yourself or have another SysMate do it unless your SysKid has expressed wanting to become more comfortable with whatever it is.

For example, several of our SysKids are uncomfortable with things like going to the bathroom! That can seem like a weird, simple thing they "should be able to do", but keep in mind they are a child and your body isn't. That's a big difference! We are typically able to do fairly fluid switches, so we are able to switch the SysKid out of the "Main Seat" so to speak to do this for them, or "with" them if they've said they want to be more comfortable with it.

"What about in headspace? Do I need to watch them all the time? When should I check on them? Etc."

For me personally, I'm usually with most of our SysKids a good portion of the time. Of course, some of them have other SysMates they'd rather be with most of the time or spend time with sometimes, and that's okay too!

We usually try to keep an older SysMate with all our SysKids, but depending on your headspace, this might not be absolutely necessary.

For us, our headspace is not only incredibly large (an entire world in it's own right, at this point), but dangerous. Even a lot of older SysMates use the buddy system when traveling outside the main city just in case they run into more dangers at once than expected.

If your headspace is safe enough for your SysKid to be alone, it's still a good idea to check in on them! How often you should check on them probably depends on your SysKid's age and how they behave! For example, particularly chaotic SysKids may need to be checked in on more than SysKids who aren't quite so chaotic, just to make sure they aren't getting themselves into any trouble.

If your SysKid is usually fairly loud and there's a period of silence, that'd be a good time to check on them! If your SysKid is usually pretty quiet, you may need to use your own judgement for when to check on them! For example, you might be anxious about leaving them alone if they're pretty quiet, so maybe you'll feel more comfortable checking on them every 5-10 minutes or so.

And of course, if you hear them getting angry or crying, etc. that would definitely be a good time to check on them! Chances are they tripped while playing, can't get a toy to do what they want it to/can't figure out how to get it to do what they want to, or even messed up something they were drawing or coloring.

Personally, when I'm leaving our SysKids momentarily unsupervised for any number of reasons, I check on them anywhere from every 5-15 minutes, varying depending on amount of noise they're making and what kind of noises they're making, but it's important to keep in mind that I'm watching several SysKids at any given time!

To help myself stay organized, and because we have an entire city so this was a plausible option for me, I run a sort of kindergarten-daycare type thing within headspace! All our SysKids have an older SysMate they live with, and not all of them need or are interested in keeping up with any sort of solid education within headspace, so it more or less functions as both!

It's also possible your SysKid might not want to be left alone at all, maybe just at first while they adjust or even indefinitely, and that's okay too! A lot of kids don't like being left by themselves. In this situation, having them hang around another SysMate they like would be a good idea if you aren't sure who to put your SysKid with in this case.

In any case, if you are checking in on your SysKid, it's important to remember that you're not just making sure they're okay! Seeing you check in on them, whether you say this or not, reminds them that you're there for them and to help them/to care for them.

It's also important to remember that your SysKid might try to convince you to sit and color or play with them for a while during one of these check-ins! If you have the time to sit with them for even just a few minutes, I recommend it! It might not seem like much, but in my experience it often means a lot to them and can strengthen your bond with them.

"How do I navigate SysKids and Trauma?"

This can be challenging. Whether it's your systems own traumas, the SysKid getting stuck in front with somebody in a bad state of mind (it happens! front can be finnicky and disagreeable at times, even for those of us who can usually control their switches), your SysKid having ExoTraumas of their own, or even your SysKid being a Trauma Holder!

An important thing to remember in these situations is that, despite the trauma, your SysKid is still a kid! They may not fully understand the trauma they're experiencing (or witnessing). It can be hard to explain things to them if they're asking about it, and you may not even feel comfortable explaining it to them. In this case, it's absolutely okay to try and boil it down in a way a kid might understand- like adults often try to do with bodily kids.

Obviously, Trauma can be likely to stress your SysKid out pretty heavily. Like with older SysMates, coping skills will be helpful for them. Because this is a kid, these coping skills may be pretty different. It can include giving them their comfort item if they have one (for example, a favorite blanket or doll), playing their favorite movie and watching it with them, holding them while they're scared or upset, and comforting them (I usually go with soft "shh" noises and "it's okay", while reminding them that I'm here for them and they aren't alone. Also, just listening to them the same way you would a friend! They may not make as much sense in some cases, but they appreciate having an ear just as much!)

In the case of systems with trauma, avoiding putting your SysKid in situations you know triggers the rest of you because of that trauma as best you can is a good idea!

For a personal example, due to one of our own traumas, we are very Hydrophobic. Things like Showers and Baths are nearly impossible for us most days, and we never get out of them without anxiety attacks or bad dissociation. So even the SysKids who have said they "don't mind" taking a shower or bath through the body do not get to do this.

Some days we have a hard time even drinking water, so on those days we either make sure whatever we're drinking isn't water when the SysKid/s front, or we don't let them front that day.

Again, we are usually fairly in control of our switches, so this works for us, but things may be more complicated to navigate for other systems depending on the nature of their trauma/s and fronting capabilities.

Since that is not our situation, I will not try to make assumptions for how you can navigate your situation if this is how things are for you- given more information, I could certainly try to give you advice, however this is a random tumblr post, and I almost definitely do not know most of those reading this!

Ending notes!

For now this is all I really have, though I can always edit or reblog with more at a later date if need be! If you read this far and have any questions or comments, you're welcome to leave a message on this post, send us a DM, or drop an ask in our inbox! We have Anon turned on as well, for anybody who gets anxious about asks that are off-anon, etc.

[pluralprompts]

Do you have any idea where we might look up general writing advice that maybe isn't overwhelming? A syskid in our head wants to write but looking up "writing tips" on Google is... A lot for an 8 year old honestly. If not. Totally fine and understandable. Thank you for this and the other blog you run. They're really great. Thank you again -🐀🌊

We've learned most of our writing skills through either books or trial and error, so I'm not sure about where to go online for writing tips. That said, we've collected a few resources for you, so you can focus on more specific areas of writing to improve!

General/misc advice:

Here is a post about how to improve your writing by finding what you like in other people's writing!

Here is a collection of resources on how to describe people, places, or objects.

Here is a chart showing the average development of young children, so that you can accurately write them.

Here is a list of personality traits you can give your characters!

Body language:

Here is a list of body language that indicates certain emotions, for when you want to show how a character feels!

Here is a post that gives examples of actions your characters can take to show what they're feeling.

Grammar:

Here is a website that goes over the different past tenses in English.

Here is a website going over different sentence structures.

Synonyms and antonyms:

Here is a dictionary website explaining synonyms and antonyms.

Here is a list of words you can use instead of "said" if you want to refer to how a character says something.

And since we can't exactly give you the books we learned from as a resource... Here are three tips from us to you that we find very useful when writing. Geared towards fiction writing, but can probably be adapted for non-fiction writing, too.

(Under a cut because let's be honest, this post is long enough as-is.)

—

1. "Show don't tell" means "Use imagery to tell information so you don't sound like a textbook."

"Show, don't tell" is a very common piece of writing advice, but ironically, it's not very descriptive in what it's telling you to do. Why is this ironic? Because "show don't tell" is supposed to encourage you to be more descriptive, especially when it comes to characters' emotions and actions! The advice here is to use imagery (descriptive or figurative language) so your writing doesn't bore your readers. It's the difference between

"John was angry."

and

"John slammed the book down, leaping up from his chair so fast that it was knocked to the ground."

The second example is more interesting, right? That's what showing is! It's giving your reader a description of what's going on through a character's actions so they can imagine it themselves, as if they were "shown" what's going on. They don't need to be told that John is angry – they can figure it out themselves based on what you've shown them. Don't tell us John is angry, show him slamming down a book! Don't tell us Susie likes outer space, show her talking to someone excitedly about space facts!

So, here is our first tip: be sure to use imagery, especially if you're talking about a character's emotions, desires, or actions.

—

2. Said is not dead, it's just in limited supply.

Ah, dialogue tags – so easy to misuse and make a text look ridiculous! A dialogue tag is any word or phrase that indicates who said something, and how they said it. For example, in this sentence:

"This is an example," John said.

the dialogue tag would be "John said." The problem here is that "said" is... kinda boring. It doesn't tell us much about how he's saying his example sentence. So, some people try to avoid using the word said as much as possible, claiming that "said is dead!"

This can definitely help add some flavor to some boring dialogue. But if you try too hard to avoid using the word "said," you can end up with some ridiculous sentences, like:

"This is an example," John trumpeted.

Like, what?? "Trumpeted"?! It may be a dialogue tag, but no one describes the way someone speaks as "he trumpeted"! To fix this problem, I try to go through three techniques: adding actions, adding replacements, and removing unnecessary lines.

By adding actions to what a character says, you can indicate who is speaking without ever using a dialogue tag. Here's an example:

Susie stretched in her chair, her back giving a few pops as she twisted. "Are you sure that you know what you're doing?"

You can tell it's Susie speaking, even though I didn't say any variation of "Susie said", because she's completing an action in this scene! This is the first method I use when writing dialogue.

The second method is simpler – I use dialogue tags that aren't quite as out-there as "trumpeted." There's a large number of options you can choose, all with their own individual meanings and implications, so I'd advise checking the dictionary whenever you're in doubt! Here's an example of a more tame dialogue tag:

"Do you really have to do that?" John asked. "I can't stand that sound of popping in my ears."

This is what most people try to go for when they avoid using the word "said"; just replacing it with a more descriptive dialogue tag. It's a good strategy to use! Just try not to get carried away, okay?

But then, one has to ask... what if someone used neither an action NOR a dialogue tag to indicate who's talking? Is such a thing even possible??

Yes! Yes, it is. However, you have to be careful – you must make very clear who is talking if you choose not to use either an action or dialogue tag to indicate a specific character.* This is possible through the use of back-and-forth dialogue, where the reader learns to expect the next line to come from a specific character, and thus it's not necessary to write that line as coming from that character. The reader already knows who's speaking!

Here's an example:

"Have you gone to that new ice cream place yet?" Susie asked.

John shook his head. "I wanted to, but I was stuck at tutoring until after they closed."

"Ah, that sucks!"

In this case, the reader knows that Susie is responding to John! I didn't need to give her an action or dialogue tag, but it was still clear that she was the one speaking.

Important note!! Remember that if you're going to use this last technique, you MUST make sure you close the other character's statement with quotation marks, or else according to writing rules, the next paragraph is also spoken by them. This would look like:

John looked up at the cloudy sky. "It's going to rain... And here I thought it would be a nice day.

"I hope Susie makes it home before it starts to pour."

Make sure to always close the quotation marks before another character starts speaking!!

With all of this said (hah), when should someone actually use the word "said"?

Well, despite the phrase "said is dead," said is still very useful for if none of these techniques are working in your favor. In these situations, "said" can be the best choice! I'd recommend trying out these techniques first, but if the action feels off, the dialogue tag feels too descriptive, and you need a clearer indication of who is talking... Grab your shovel and dig up "said" from its grave.

*In some of our dialogue prompts, we don't use any dialogue tags. This is because who the characters are is not relevant to what we're communicating (the conversation between them). In stories, however, the characters become relevant, so we recommend you add some dialogue tags or actions if you use any of our dialogue prompts.

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3. Keep your paragraphs in TiPToP shape!

TiPToP is an acronym that writers use to remind themselves when to start a new paragraph. The acronym goes:

Ti – time (ex. time skips)

P – place (ex. new location)

To – topic (ex. new thing to focus on)

P – person (ex. who is talking)

Acronyms like TiPToP are useful, because no one wants to read a story that's just one long paragraph! Paragraph breaks give the reader time to take a breath, and can be useful for adding tension, like –

... This. Like this. Do you see what I did there? How tension was added to the writing through the sudden paragraph break I added? It's a powerful tool.

Back to what I was saying, though. Paragraph breaks can add a lot to your writing, such as tension or even humor, but they're primarily used to add a sense of "flow" to your writing; to keep it from going stagnant or being a giant wall of text your readers have to chip away at. If you're not sure when to add a paragraph break, refer to TiPToP.

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And there you have it! A small collection of resources on writing, complete with some tips from yours truly. If you ever run out of resources and wish to go looking for more, we recommend starting on the writeblr side of Tumblr, as you can find many writers discussing and sharing tips that helped them improve their writing. We hope this helps you in all your writing endeavors!