#take all dudes’ internet access away

[dollwrites]

what’s the most annoying thing to ever exist? middle aged men in the comments of 80s rock music videos

[piplupod]

and i often get upset with myself for complaining and venting as much as i do, or also for being as anxious as i am, but given the circumstances that I live in, I do think realistically I am being ... incredibly "well-behaved", all things considered. i could be acting so much worse.

but i do still wish i weren't so ... [gestures vaguely at this whole mess] because it's off-putting for people! and understandably so! but i wish i could make friends!

[gremlingottoosilly]

How would Loser!Konig react to finding a reader who is actually into the stuff he is. Like she gets over the kidnapping part because hey this dude is feeding every hyperfixation she has and it's awesome. Like gun talk gets her so interested, etc

Perfect wife alert!! Konig couldn't believe you were this cool at first...he never believed that he would meet anyone who shared similar interests with him - but here you are, his kidnapped beauty, sitting in the dusty basement and gushing about guns and anime and what is the best way to kill a dude with your bare hands...you may lack experience in a lot of hands-on stuff, but you definitely had too much of unrestricted internet access when you were a kid - because Konig fucking adores the way you are taking a genuine interest in his hobbies. You're literally into the kidnapping part because you like talking to him!! No one ever likes to talk to him except for his therapist because he is, quote, a "very interesting and very broken man," whatever this might mean. You are asking him questions about guns and you really enjoy listening to him...it might be the first time he ever got to talk to a girl about this stuff, so forgive him if he is a little too excited...he knows it might come off as kinda bashful, but he honestly wants to hear your opinion! After a few hours of a lecture, that is, and you would be reprimanded if you're asking of too much, by the way... But, all of those fancy and interesting talks kinda makes him horny afterward...so be ready to get thrown to your back as he pounds into your pussy and whispers even more about the recent mission he had. He bashed a guy's skull until it caved in with only the handle of his gun - and god, Konig can swear that your pussy got tighter when he mentioned that. You're a kinky and dirty little thing, so he wants to push you even further, get your boundaries across, and crush them until there is nothing left. In all seriousness, he really adores you - you literally his soulmate and he won't accept anyone but you now! Just...please, don't try to run away.

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

Another Vox enthusiasts I see? Well if I may...

Vox with a GN Hacker reader who was turned entirely digital after manifesting in hell. They don’t even have a physical form they’re completely stuck within Hell’s databases, their skills are obviously useful to him so he offers them a place on the team which they immediately accept on the condition that Vox makes them a vessel to inhabit because holy shit are they going stir crazy.

I’m not entirely sure how Vox’s abilities work but given he can at the very least project himself onto screens and the like I get the feeling that he’d plug himself into the system whenever they talk. Mostly because it keeps them grounded, they’re alot calmer when he’s actually next to them and not looking in through a screen.

I hope this didn’t get too wordy or long I just wanted to be thorough because I have massive brain rot for this techno mf-

Take your time with this request! Kisses darling <3

-📽

Dude, does anyone else remember having Shimeji's or that internet episode from Fairly Odd Parents? Cause that's what I'm about to write!

Digital Pet [Vox x Digital Reader]

When you first manifested in Hell, you were completely unaware that you had ended up in Hell itself. Because instead of manifesting in the overcrowded circle designated for sinners, you instead found yourself in a digital landscape. Countless screens surrounded you like a million portals. You could see the different shapes and sizes of the devices being used in hell and could even alter whether or not you saw what was being displayed on the screen or what the screen could see itself like a window to Hell.

At first, you had a massive meltdown. From what you could tell, you were the only one in this digital Hell custom-tailored to leave you isolated despite having access to every device in Hell. You wondered what you did to deserve the extra punishment layered on top of not being good enough for heaven, especially since you hadn't done anything particularly evil when you were alive.

You lost track of how much time passed. You entertained yourself by jumping from system to system. You'd watch shows that sinners binged, and you'd watch the city from large advertisement screens that overlooked the sinner's circle of Hell. Anything to stave off the loneliness.

One day, that all changed when you felt an electric buzz make the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You heard the voice of someone swearing and immediately pulled yourself away from the screen you had been sticking your nose into. When you turned, you saw another demon who was still sparking with some bright electric energy as he dusted himself off.

For a moment the two of you just stared at each other in shock. As far as you and Vox knew, you were the only ones who could access the digital realm of Hell's database. Vox is immediately wary, but you are thrilled as you approach him quickly.

"H-Hi, oh my god!" you breathe as you look him over. He didn't look new to Hell, but you had never seen anyone else in the same pocket of space as you before. "Did you just die? Have you seen anyone else? Did you just get here? It's been so long since I saw another person that wasn't on a screen!"

Vox blinked as you rapid-fired questions at him. He looked you over as you rambled something about the irony of his face being a screen when he finally shook his head and held up a hand to stop you.

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down," he started. "What are you talking about? How are you even here? No one else should be able to traverse through the database of Hell but me."

Vox's interest only grows as you explain your situation. "I see," he hummed as he looked you over with new intrigue. "I wonder if you have similar abilities to mine and just got caught in the in-between..."

It was easy enough for him to lure you into a deal. The sheer amount of panic you expressed when he pretended he was going to just leave you there was hilarious at the time. In exchange for you "surfing the web" for him, so to speak, he took you on as an apprentice of sorts. Vox trained your abilities and helped you hone your magic. While you had every hope of one day figuring out how to manifest in the physical realm the way he did, Vox cleverly avoided any pursuit of the possibility.

He liked having full power over you and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't starting to grow attached. While you hadn't learned anything about manifesting physically, you had learned how to appear on his screens. He'd never admit it to you out loud, but he found the tiny image of you running around on his devices and talking with him to be pretty damn adorable.

Despite his manipulation, the two of you actually slowly became friends. He found himself genuinely proud of you whenever you popped up to show him something new you had learned. There was a weird warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest when you would bounce with excitement at your new discoveries.

Sometimes you'd ask him to play a certain show or song for you. Even after you learned how to control inactive devices so you could look up anything you wanted, you still liked to ask him to play things for you just so you could watch them in his presence. You'd send memes to each other and Vox had to quickly excuse himself when you sent him a crudely drawn image of Alastor slipping on a banana peel while he was in the middle of giving a presentation at a meeting.

Vox was emotionally constipated, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell that the warm feeling in his chest was growing and he knew you were the source. He clutched his chest as he stepped into his lair and saw you sleeping on his desktop toolbar, waiting for him to come home after a long day at work. He had promised you that you'd watch the new episode of a show you'd been watching together, but his gameshow had run late.

He sits down with a sigh and traces over your sleeping form, feeling something twist inside of him as his claw only met with the cold, flat surface of a screen. He wondered what it would be like to hold you. To touch you. To have you in his arms while the two of you lay on the couch while you made him watch stupid shows instead of...

"Fuck," Vox whispered to himself as he pulled away from the innocent image of you. He clutched his face as he slumped forward in his chair. He had a decision to make.

And so do you, dear readers! I want to make a part two to this, the real question is:

[rboooks]

In The Royal Consort:

I just imagined a scene where Danny accidentally cried or bleed and that makes the favorite assigned bodyguard appear all spooky and knightly

Fright Knight

The second one drop of blood or tear hits the floor the sun suddenly is covered by clouds and this chilling sensation travels to everyone's spine (Clockwork laughs)

Danny hides his face between his hands cause: omg this is so humiliating, why does the knight have to be so protective!? He isn't a kid! In fact, Danny is stronger than him!

But everyone around just assumes they started a war by hurting the very loved spouse of a very powerful king

Fright Knight walks through a portal and points his sword to the persons that hurt his Lord and spoke all scary and well, frightening

Meanwhile we have a combination of Danny and Batboys trying to calm down the situation (Danny casually hits the ghost all: dude! Relax! Everyone has a mini heart attack)

John Constantine is having a panic attack when he sees the news (you just know someone was making an live all the time) cause this powerful entity surely has to be the assigned protector of Prince Danny and if he appears it was to avoid that the king himself drains his husband when he's already hurt but that only means he was probably furious waiting for an explanation!!!

Danny just wanted a coffee that Tim told him (he just wanted like, enough caffeine that would kill him)

---------

On the other hand, you just know Twitter is going crazy

People are having passionate debates about the situation, maybe for Danny's age, Is necrophilia?, Fanfiction and fanart, Ghosts aren't real and everything is just a government plan, who's Danny and why he was selected and a Buzzfeed Unsolved/The Watchers video (Ryan spends half the video laughing cause he was right! Shane is 😐🙂 well I didn't expect that but at the same those places they went weren't haunted)

Director movies are watching the news, wondering if they can make a movie about them (normally they'd said that they have to wait to them be dead, that is the norm with royals but like... Dead or not is the same here, isn't it? Can they or not make movies and series about them?

Danny is suddenly the subject of everyone's curiosity. His life, photos, his friends and classmates are on the news and internet all the time

People are just asking why him? What makes Danny Fenton, a normal teenager, so special to have one of the more powerful and mighty entities in the universe so found on him? So in love?

Government/criminal societies/companies are making plans of seduction the king and becoming his consort too maybe stealing Danny's place so they can have access to Phantom wealth and power

This situation is just to say: a ghost appears to attack him while he's in public with a lot of attention from paparazzi and passengers (a friendly attack causes he's far away from his lair and they're checking? A rebel trying to take the throne?) One of the Batfamily tried to stop him but didn't have the weapons to stop them

Danny has to defeat him in his human.

But Danny doesn't even look scared, he just attacks him like a professional, like if defeating this powerful entity was nothing to him and after a few minutes he has the ghost in the thermo and Danny looking normal

I, for one, I'm sure that people would find that very hot of him and the internet reaction would be like: for that reason 😯

Danny went from being an invisible loser to "Oh shit, he's kind of hot" overnight due to the internet hyping him up. There are thirst edits all over the internet and people are eating it up, especially when Wes' blog leaks out footage videos of him doing crazy flips and ghost fighting as a human.

Meanwhile, Fright Knight is screaming, "I will protect my liege's chastity!" which is really not helping Danny.

[nerdby]

Normally, I stay away from Nanowhatthefuckever stuff cause I've never been a supporter of it. Like having deadlines is good and important and just an essential part of life, but I just don't understand why everything in life needs to be a competition??? Especially writing. Like it can take YEARS just to finish a rough draft, and you're asking people to accomplish that in a month??? It's sloppy, unrealistic, and anxiety-inducing.

Now, I'm finding out that the writers who participated in the event have had their writing sold to AI chatbots and the people behind Nano are saying that people who are anti-AI are classist and ableist......Like, first of all, the fact that you're infantilizing disabled people and implying that we are incapable of being (good) writers without AI is ableist, you ignorant PoS.

Second, you don't need a computer to write. Or a phone. Or an iPad. All you need is a pen and paper. When I first started writing I would hoard spiral bound notebooks I bought at the Dollar Tree and write until my skin was blistered and stained from my pen. Then I would take it to school with me and type it all out there. Alright, and my mom is still paying off electric bills from the fucking 90s -- I didn't have continuous Internet access or cable TV until the year 2010. So I know thing or two about being fucking poor. I am still poor.

I make $12,000USD a year which is well below the national poverty line in the US and get food stamps. So let me tell you, a computer or even a keyboard is absolutely NOT an essential writing tool -- go ask fucking Shakespeare. And if you can't afford a pen and paper from the Dollar Tree then, dude, you've got more important things to worry about than a writing career.

Go fuck yourselves, Nano.

[00slust]

©00SGOTH. IAN VALONE , HEADCANONS. ( USFW EDITION. )

WARNING: under the cut will contain explicit content. please proceed with your own discretion and caution. ( last updated: 07/14/2024 )

kinks and content warnings: pornography, breeding kink / creampies, mild voyeurism / exhibitionism, mild free use, mild bdsm, semi-public, semi-rough, filming, spanking, hair pulling, overstimulation, oral, deep throating, squirting, breathplay, sex while intoxicated, mild marking, degradation, praise, dirty talking.

ian is a dominant leaning switch. more so because it's what he's used to, he isn't often given the opportunity to sub. but when he does, he thoroughly enjoys it! if it needed to be put to numbers, i'd say he's 60% dominant and 40% submissive, give or take. but he will always assume the role of dominant in all sexual relationships, unless his partner shows or tells him otherwise.

to piggyback off that, depending on his partner, he sometimes likes a little bit of power play. if they want him to sub, he might make them fight for it a little bit.

i wouldn't go as far as to say he had a porn addiction, but with all the time he spends on the internet... it might teeter on the line just a little bit. he doesn't need it, he's just horribly bored. what else are dudes with unlimited internet and porno section access in the 2000s supposed to do besides code their myspace profile and jerk off?

but that also goes hand in hand with his love for filming. he very much enjoys immortalizing moments between him and his partners. his digital camera and camcorder have caught everything between boring mundane shit throughout the day, to him shoving his fingers into his partners mouth with lots of zooms on their tongue and spit, to all different angles of him fucking them. but everything up close, personal and handheld is his favorite.

he lingers a little too long in the adults only section of the video store every time he has to put away returns, and makes a bad habit out of scoping out the newest releases when he unboxes them before they hit the shelves. sometimes he considers renting the more interesting ones out for himself, to be the first to test run them. but i regret to inform you that there have been a few instances of them never getting the chance to leave the store after he's locked the doors. he's definitely tucked himself away into a backroom where he should be rewinding tapes. and he still will! after he's done.

sorry, but it's literally a surprise to no one that he fucks in the store after he's closed up. the backroom? the porno section? behind the front counter? doesn't matter. the cameras in that place don't work half the time anyway.

reminder that he has his tongue pierced! it was partially done for aesthetic purposes, but it'd be a lie to say it wasn't also done with sex in mind. he's already a big fan of giving oral, he's a proud munch, and the piercing provides an extra pressure and sensation for his partners. currently, he's still on the fence about getting a prince albert.

he has such pretty eyes and it'd be a shame to not stare at them while he's going down on you. they get all heavy and roll back a little when he really gets into it, but he's still trying to look at them.

if his partner has long enough hair, he can't help but gather it all up into a ponytail while they're going down on him. it's actually kind of sweet and he hardly realizes he's doing it at first. he's just doing it for the intimacy, to touch them. but it can also come in handy if they let him use their mouth like a fleshlight.

he's very vocal, and unashamedly so. whether he's moaning, whining, whimpering. whether he's praising, degrading, begging. they're going to hear him. and he prefers responsive partners in this aspect as well. he doesn't expect them to match his talking, or to be screaming until the neighbors call the cops. but it's a huge turn off to have someone who doesn't sound like they're enjoying themselves.

he's a biter, he's a scratcher, he's marking up his partners and kissing and licking the spot immediately after to soothe it. and he likes to be marked as well. his skin is so pale and sensitive that it's actually incredibly easy to do so.

[dazed-poltergeist]

The Scholar & The Assassin

Pairing: Arno Dorian x Reader

Warnings: None in particular.

Summary: Arno makes the Reader take a break for once as they prepare for an important assessment.

Add. Notes: I'm quite sure I have said this before, but I'm sorry if any of the Assassin's Creed characters I write about are out-of-character. I only have access to ACIII and ACIV: Black Flag, and honestly? I prefer playing first-hand instead of watching a playthrough on the internet. Now, watch me try to figure out the entire internal structure of Café Théâtre solely through Fandom Wiki screenshots-

>✉️<

{ Dude. I planned to write this in May/June to celebrate the end of the school year. I was like "why not?" and started writing the piece at the start of May. The problem? It's fucking August. I finished it after three fucking months. I'm afraid I finished this only because I felt obligated to. }

-Eero, August 2023

Masterlist ✧⁠*⁠。

"You have been working for quite a while. Can you take a break with me?"

Arno's spontaneous request caught you off-guard. You were a scholar preparing for the final exams created by your institution, and you now realized you had been studying in the memento gallery the whole morning.

"I probably should, I completely lost track of time." You responded to Arno, as you dipped your quill in the pot of ink sitting on your workspace. "Give me a moment to finish writing this down, I'll come with you in a bit."

"Will you? Put the quill back in the ink pot and simply go out for a bit with me." Arno insisted, but added with a chuckle: "It won't grow legs and escape while we are away."

You giggled at his remark as you got up from your desk. After a stretch, you cleaned up the quill and closed the lid of the ink pot. In the process, Arno left the gallery to get some more practical clothing for you.

As you were changing into the clothing Arno had brought you, he asked; "Do you know any places you want to pass by as we are out?" "I don't have any in mind," You told him, and added a question of your own, "You were the one who wanted to take a walk, though. Don't you have any ideas?"

"It never hurts to ask. But yes, I thought of going to the Café's rooftop, and it looks like that's where we are going." Arno stated, as the two of you began walking in the direction of the gallery's exit.

Once you had entered the balcony, you noticed that the weather had improved from the last moment you had taken a break. The Sun had come out and the winds had calmed down. Perfect weather for relaxing on the rooftop.

Arno swiftly climbed onto the roof, then turned to you and offered you his hand to help you up. You took it, and with a little struggle, you managed to get on the rooftop as well.

As the two of you moved away from the edge of the roof, you realized how much you envied Arno's skills as an assassin. Your inexperienced self was trying to keep up with him while he moved like he lived on the roofs.

Arno gestured you to sit next to him once you had made it to him. You obliged, and told him: "You need to teach me how to climb like that." "Like what?" He playfully questioned. Without a pause, you clapped back: "Like a roof hermit."

The man next to you burst into laughter at your blunt response. He took a moment to calm down, but finally he explained: "Learning to move the way I do takes years of practice. It's not something you can learn in one sitting. "

You sighed when Arno told you the truth about his skills. "At this point, I am probably too old to become an assassin," You told him. "You told me of a few assassins before. All of them were already related to the Brotherhood when they were children."

All Arno could do was agree with you. He was associated with the assassins since his childhood as well – his father was one.

Neither of you didn't want to dwell on that anymore, so you leaned against him, and began explaining the topics that you were revising before he offered to take a break.

He enjoyed listening to you talk about the things you studied, as you were passionate enough to dedicate a few years of your life to learn even more about it.

Arno realized shortly after that you were technically back in the state before the break – revising. He was sure to bring it up: "Wait a second! We are supposed to be taking a break from reviewing all that!"

[redpanther23]

second autobiographical essay below

The first sixteen years of my life I spent with my mom, and they were honestly the motherfucking worst.

My mom met my step dad larping when I was about 2, he was 16, and she was 26. She got pregnant, they got married, and he started sexually abusing me right away. When my brother was born, I couldn't stand him and was a complete cunt to him (sorry dude, I was a kid and I didn't know better.)

When I started school, I struggled to focus and did very poorly, and my mom and step dad would beat me and take all my things out of my room except for furniture, and lock me in there except to use the bathroom, for months on end, until they thought my grades were good enough. My step dad would come into my room at night and touch me. He would also jump out at me around corners and "wrestle" with me (pretending to wrestle for fun so he could squeeze my tits.) I would struggle and yell, and bite him as hard as I could, and my mom would punish me for hurting him. Sometimes he would do it in front of her, and when I complained to her, she would call me a liar. (His name again: Rigel Cameron Freeman.)

We moved pretty much every year because my parents struggled to maintain jobs. Mainly we lived in different parts of Gainesville, Florida, but we also briefly lived in Raleigh, North Carolina. At school I was usually the only non Christian kid, and I was a complete asshole because my family life was so horrible, so no one liked me and I was bullied constantly. I spent a lot of time in class, and all my time at recess, drawing and making up imaginary friends, or reading books about talking cats (I was very misanthropic, something I still struggle with.) When I was in late elementary to middle school, I made a few friends I still talk to. That was also the same time as my first suicide attempt (5th grade), and when I started self harming.

When I was 12 I dyed my hair red, and my friend's dad named me Red (their family were Irish and Cherokee.) I had been called lots of other names before that, basically something different by each relative, and the only thing everyone could agree on was that none of them suited me (and no one ever called me my government name.) After I was named Red, I dyed my hair every other color you can think of, but my name has stayed the same.

The same year, I moved to Miami, and that began a new isolated phase in my life that led to me becoming interested in magick. My mom had never lived in a major city before, and we ended up moving to a pretty sketchy neighborhood (gunshots almost every night, drive bys, etc.) In our home country (Mississippi) kids are simply expected to fend for themselves outdoors until supper. Now that I was trapped inside with my incredibly abusive family, I had nothing to turn to but the internet (something I'm sure many of us here can relate to.)

I became interested in magic through mythology. I had always found other pre-Christian cultures fascinating, since I wasn't allowed to learn anything about my own, and I discovered through Wikipedia and Google searches that people still practiced the pagan European religions of my ancestors. Through neopaganism, I began to learn about ceremonial magic extremely quickly, feeling as though it was the one piece of my life I'd been missing, finding that I had an innate understanding of something other than visual art for the first time. It wasn't long before I was ready to try my first invocation. I had always wondered if I had a "spirit animal," or a guide, which I knew must be part of my subconscious, and recognizing immediately that I could use ritual meditation to access this, I crafted my first ritual based on some uninitiated wiccan articles I had been reading, and what implements I had laying around. I set out a circle of stones, invoked the four quadrants with a candle at each cardinal direction, laid out offerings of oil, salt, and water, lit an incense cone, and two additional candles for the Mother and Father. My practice is very different now, but my results at the time were extraordinarily intense. When I closed my eyes, this is what I saw:

Dense forest, high on the mountain. It's foggy and overcast, but it's summertime. The rocks are covered with moss, thick and green. I look down at my sandy brown forepaws and know that I am a panther. I begin to stroll, and I can feel the power in my muscles. I'm strong and free.

I opened my eyes, and was back in my bedroom, surrounded by rocks and candles. Shortly afterward, my mom mentioned Scott Panther to me for the first time (I didn't remember meeting him as a baby.) I'm sure it will confuse some that my first experience with a native archetype, my family animal, was through a European style ritual. Hey, think how I feel! I should have been able to take peyote and meet a mountain lion face to face to earn my name, like any decent person. Unfortunately, since I was so isolated, I didn't have the privilage. My connection to the panther is extremely deep - some of my first dreams were of being a cat, and the first time I prayed (age 8) it was to "StarClan," which, for the uninitiated, is the clan of dead cats who live in the sky in the children's book series Warrior Cats (I still like to think my cat ancestors are up there watching.) I've always studied cat behavior and embodied cat energy, even before I had any vision, but in my life that was treated as something annoying and strange by the people around me, rather than the sacred mystical practice it was. When I had cats in my life, I prioritized them, often over my own health and safety. Even though I only have a dog now, I still consider cats to be my teachers. I can't say whether my conceptualization of reality and my experiences is native, or European, but I would guess it's a mix of both, like me.

I started high school at MAST Academy in Miami, a school for "future scientists." My family always discouraged me from drawing or playing music, often my instruments would be taken away or sold, or I would have nothing but lined notebook paper to draw on (I would only get things I needed for school.) Since all I had to decide a "career" on was my passion for non-human animals, I thought I might be a zoologist. It was a lot less horrible than most other high schools in a lot of ways, and a few of the teachers even treated me like a person (cheers.) I started visiting my dad a little during this period, he began teaching me about Jewish mysticism and Kaballah, what little I could understand, and I began to read from his collection of books on magick and the occult.

During my second year of high school, my mom and step dad moved to the Netherlands, and brought me with them. I was too young and shy (scared) to have any fun, and I just thought about suicide constantly. My mom would never stop yelling at me about everything, telling me how l worthless I am. I caught my step dad taking pictures of me as I got out of the shower, and my little brother told me he caught him watching me sleep through the window over my bedroom door (you could stand at the top of the stairs and look right through it.) I became paranoid he was going to start raping me again, like he did when I was younger, and slept with a knife beside me, when I could sleep. (Again, his name is Rigel Cameron Freeman, and he is a computer programmer who works in the video game industry.)

The only positive part of my life during this period was an online death cult I joined, called Les Fleurs de la Mort. I can't talk about our practices in detail, but it lead me to get really into gardening, which was probably the healthiest possible pastime for me. I don't think I've spoken to any of my fellow Fleurists in years, but if any y'all are reading this, meow.

After I turned 16, I got the chance to visit my dad back in Miami (court ordered), and I refused to return to my mom. I haven't heard from my mom or step dad since then, except for a handful of extremely rude emails from my mom before covid, and I hope that's the end of it.

Rigel Cameron Freeman, the pedophile who made my life hell and molested me constantly throughout my childhood, currently has sole custody of my youngest sibling, who's 9. (He was born after I left, and we've never met.)

[rabidbatboy]

Hi there !! I'm currently researching a paper on xenogenders and queer online culture, and I wanted to reach out to a few people in the community to ask about their experiences. If you're up for it, I'd love to hear about your gender identity and journey. /pos /gen

sure! throwing a ramble until the cut. you are welcome to cite/quote/whatever this

I would say I definitely did not have a stereotypical trans childhood, though it might seem like I did? I wore a lot of my brothers clothes and I had short hair so I was often referred to as a boy anyway. but i never felt one way or another about that other than I found it funny. I dressed both masculine and feminine. I had a different childhood experience because I’m autistic, but I was pretty social. nothing really felt off or wrong, not until about mid puberty. I didn’t really have something I was missing it was more like it just clicked one day. I wasn’t NOT being my authentic self before, but I clearly hadn’t started to fully understand

I got more online friends as my internet access developed, and around fifteen did I start being more exposed to the idea of gender identity as a complex thing. I already had somewhat of an online persona, I went by ‘mango’ so I started trying out different names too. I took the pretty typical route from she/they to all pronouns to they/them to they/he and so on. I was probably 16 or 17 when I realised I was like. totally a dude eheh. it wasn’t a huge struggle but it took me a while to get there and I couldn’t wrap my head around a lot of things. it was definitely a stress on my mind at times and i got a lot of conflicting and confusing and pressuring information from the internet and other people

I was very queer, though, and very okay with that. I had toyed with the ideas of xenogenders a little, but unfortunately getting a lot of my experience influenced by kalvin garrah as a young trans guy, I was embarrassed by complex queer identities and I shied away from using things like neopronouns. I didn’t find a good community that allowed me to be honest with myself about how I felt and what made me feel happiest for a while.

I would add xenogenders to my collection and limit them, remove them. I still got nervous around neopronouns. I gave into the kind of fears and misinformation spread around and I didn’t want to be made fun of, or be a joke.

and then as with me finding out I was a boy, it just sort of clicked. There was no huge revelation I just. didn’t care anymore. the communities I had been in weren’t really toxic, but we were young and didn’t know a lot about the world. I honestly started feeling the best when I stopped caring. Even before I started this blog, with the support of friends and my system I began to be my full authentic self. I take joy in creating so flag making and term collecting was a great outlet for stresses about my identity. Instead of making it a chore, I looked at it as a fun thing. Identity can be serious, but it helps to let go and be able to make silly flags, use silly pronouns, just to remember that it’s not all about how your presenting yourself to others, but what you’re doing for yourself to make you happy

Cheesy :)

[just-antithings]

I found this rant in my notes from, like June of 2021. I have no idea what it was in response to, but I thought y'all might appreciate it, so here goes:

So, the anti-shipping movement is closely entwined with--although not identical to--the anti-kink movement. (Both are subsidiaries of the radfem poison that's been creeping through society and fandom as of late, but that's a discussion for another time.) For the uninitiated, anti-kinksters oppose basically any "unconventional" sexual activities such as BDSM, DDLG, furry stuff, and all sorts of other shit consenting adults do in their bedrooms (or sex dungeons).

Now, these fuckers are just wild to me. I think anti-shipping is bonkers, but I at least get the idea behind it: Namely, that people can be bullied out of--publicly, at least--shipping certain things. Making ship fic/art is a relatively niche hobby, and fandoms are ephemeral. So if you can make it socially unacceptable to write about Ship A for, say, five years, you may have eliminated that ship altogether. You don't need to keep doing it forever because a fandom's popularity will eventually wane.

Kink does not work this way. Sexual fetishes have existed for all of human history. Many of them are, if not innate, formed in early childhood. You can't keep people from being kinky. Even if the human race started over tomorrow with no memory of anything that came before, people would immediately start trying to find newer and weirder ways to fuck, because that's just sort of what people do.

So... what the fuck do anti-kinksters want, exactly? You can't stop people from having these desires. Do they want people to stop acting on these desires with other consenting adults? What possible good could that do anyone? How would you decide what counts as kink? How could you ever enforce that? Sure, there's always shame, but a) there's already a good deal of shame associated with many kinks b) if there's one thing I've learned from true crime podcasts, it's that somebody who's shamed for their sexual interests is one head injury away from being a serial killer.

Do they just want kinksters to stop making porn? I reiterate: Fucking why? You're an adult, you can hit the back button if you see something you don't like. I do it every single day. It's easy, I promise.

Of course, antis of every variety like to whinge about "the children." It will traumatize the children or make them vulnerable to pedophiles or whatever (which, holy shit, way to blame the victim). To which I say: Why the fuck are your kids in any position to see porn of any kind, and how is this anybody else's problem? Complaining that your kid saw porn on the internet is like complaining that you gave your kid enough money for a ticket, dropped them off at the theater alone, and returned to find out they'd watched an R-rated movie. Like, no shit, Sherlock, what did you think was going to happen?

Nobody made you give your kid internet access. Nobody made you fail to supervise them. Nobody made you be too lazy to set up parental controls, or forget to teach them basic internet safety protocols, or avoid giving them the talk and just hope their school would take care of it. That shit's on you. Maybe, depending on the circumstances, the platform your kid was using is at fault for not having good filtering, or the content creators were at fault for failing to tag stuff properly. At no point in the equation is it the fault of some random dude who just happens to be into balloons or raw pizza dough or whatever.

So... this was a very long rant about anti-kinksters that may not even belong here. In conclusion, parent your fucking kids.

[mystris-bug-academy]

Honey

She/Her, Honeybee, lesbian, Cooking club Leader

Honey facts!!

☆~ Her favorite food to bake are honey cakes

♡~ Absolutely DESPISES the Bee Movie. I mean why can't she get a human girlfriend! I mean she can go up to a woman– **LOUDLY INCORRECT BUZZER**

♧~ had unsupervised internet access as a kid (totally not projecting myself onto my ocs)

♤~ Used to have a crush on Mona (maybe still does)

◇~ HEXAGONS ARE MOST OPTIMAL.

♡~ Only uses hexagon dishes, plates, pans, etc. (Her club members had to beg her to use circular pans)

◇~Gives food to the other club leaders

♧~Her and Mona could absolutely destroy a candy store (they are banned from multiple stores for this reason.)

☆~ Uses kid soap and shampoo unlike SOMEONE that doesn't WASH every DAY CENI–

♡~ Puts WAAYYYY too much sugar in her pastries sometimes to the point where they are literally inedible.

Grades

Math- B+

English- A

Science- D

Social Studies- A

P.E.- A

What others think of her

Fae: "She...Gives me food"

Ceni: "She says if I don't start taking showers every day, she's gonna stop giving me food. Like, dude!! I shower every other day!...Guys, why are you all walking away? Hey wait!–"

Orchid: "She's such a cutie patootie, love herr <3"

Mona: "She's like my bffaenmwbogcbu! Best friends forever no matter what boy or girl comes between us!"

Poly: "Dude, I think she liked my sister. Eh, whatever, she makes me cookies...Actually, if she does get with my sister, I'll be able to ask her for cookies anytime! Oh my god, guys, wait, cut the cams. I have an idea-"

"Lady"- "Hm, she's quite nice, I can't say I love some of the food she makes though...I'm still thinking about that block of sugar she said was supposed to be "cookies.""

Latro: "Probably the most sane club leade out of all of us... But then again, she's ALSO the reason we have rats in the computer room."

Honeybee facts!!

☆~The scientific name for Honeybees is Apis mellifera Linnaeus.

♡~Can fly at about 20mph

♤~Honeybees dance to communicate!! It's called "The wiggle dance," and they use it to communicate the location of a food source:3

◇~They literally COOK hornets to death (They literally surround a hornet and use their wings to overheat the hornet)

♧~ Bee brains are less than two cubic centimeters

☆~Bees have 5 eyes

♡~Queen bees can lay up to 3000 eggs in a day

Thanks 4 reading!! <3

[clumsyclifford]

hell yeah @allsassnoclass tagged me to post snippets from WIPs with the words "warm," "heavy," "almost," and "talk" !! let's fucking go. fair warning: these WIPs are for the assorted fandoms of 5sos, percy jackson, teen wolf, supernatural, and hawkeye/mcu. okay lessgo.

warm

supernatural:

Dean feels warm as he tightens the knot on Cas’s tie and leans away. “Is there something I'm missing?” Sam interjects. “No.” Dean and Cas, simultaneously.

5sos:

"Michael, this water is perfectly warm," Luke calls over. "You've probably been using the wrong handle." Michael turns on his heel and scurries over to the sink. He sticks a finger in the stream; it's comfortably lukewarm, despite the fact that only one faucet handle has been twisted. The one for cold water, Michael is sure. Pretty sure. "The hell?"

heavy (none of my open WIPs had this word damn dude i had to break out the summer camp fic for this one!!)

“Yeah, it looks like a lot of heavy lifting,” Michael says distastefully. “That’s why I’d never do it. I’m not so bad with A/V stuff but between an air-conditioned office with constant access to the internet and having to be out in the sun all day doing physical labor, it’s a no-brainer.” “Yeah,” Calum says. He laughs. “Well, that’s how we’re different. I like the time in the sun. And the physical labor really isn’t so bad. We’ve got golf carts, which makes it easier.”

almost (i use this word a lot so i pulled a few snippets)

spn:

“Please,” the woman whimpers, throwing her head back to look Dean in the eye. Dean jolts. Almost falls on his ass. “Uh-oh,” comes the grating taunt of Alistair. “You didn't know who you were slicing and dicing?” Dean blinks and stares. His voice shoves one word from the traffic jam in his throat. “Mom?” 

teen wolf:

“Eh,” Malia says, back to human and brushing dirt from her clothes. “It’s fine.” “It’s not fine! I just almost killed you!” “I almost killed you too,” Malia says, as if she wants it known that she was just as capable of killing Kira as vice versa. “But I think the bigger question is, why did we almost kill each other?”

pjo:

“It's fine,” he says quickly. “I'm trying to learn Ancient Greek, I just didn't see the sign.” “You almost got eaten.” Percy sets his shoulders. “This is a problem.” “It's not a problem.” “Too late, it's a problem. Don't worry, I'm on the case.”

5sos:

The young man sits up, then freezes and grips both edges of the sofa, instantly several shades paler. “Fuck. I don’t feel good.” “Did you even hear me say you were almost killed?” Michael, hesitant to touch his apparently amnesiac patient, tries to pin him with a glare instead. “Lie down. It’s only been a day and a half. You need rest, you’re probably just disoriented and concussed.”

i am really entertained by the fact that every one of these snippets discusses a character who is in some way suffering or almost died. that says something probably but i don't know what!

talk (once again...multiple snippets)

spn:

“What were you dreaming about?” “Kristen Stewart,” Dean says icily. “Drop it, okay?” Cas says, “You can talk to me, you know,” and puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean flinches.

my self indulgent pjo x tw crossover:

“Which god?” Lydia asks. “And how do we kill her?” Liam adds. Jason frowns. “We're not trying to kill her. You can't kill a god, and anyway, we just want to talk.”

my self indulgent hawkeye x spiderman mcu pseudo crossover:

Spiderman does a double-take. “Kate?” he says, and then, stumblingly, “Uh, Bishop? From, uh, I— I recognize you from the— the…news.” “The news?” Kate’s brow furrows. “What are you talking about?” “Yeah, you’re the new Hawkeye,” Spiderman says. “Right?”

more than anything this game made me realize that maybe i don't use some words nearly as often as i think i do. self-five for vocabulary variation! anyway imma tag @ijustdontlikepeople @igarbagecannoteven @kaleidoscopeminds for the words "clean," "house," "anyway," and "class" :) have fun

[opinated-user]

first of all, grooming isn't a thing internet people do to the audience. it's a thing pedos do to kids they interact with irl. secondly, lily was very clearly joking about meeting with a fan and it's gross to take it as if it were serious. thirdly, lily isn't doing anything weird. there's an old dude to stares at my boobs even though i'm nearly flat and gets a boner to it in the library. boys at my school joke about raping girls and each other. the school bus driver thinks i have a nice ass. the difference is that no matter what i want, i CAN'T get away from them. if i want to get away from lily or i don't like what she's doing, i can just exit the tab. groomers don't make sure you have ready access to a door to escape from them at all times. groomers also don't act as normal as lily does privately. i talked to her after i made fanart for her and she was nice, complimented me, asked for some help navigating a fanart site, thanked me and moved on. there was nothing remotely sexual about any part of that interaction. if that's grooming then everyone i've ever talked to in fandom is grooming everyone. if that's grooming then every youtuber or twitch streamer with a discord server is trying to groom their whole audiences.

she's not creepy. she's just some woman on the internet. if you don't like her sexual expression or jokes, just don't interact with her stuff. she isn't some predator hunting you down to force you to see her do stuff. this is ridiculous.

anon, first... i'm so, so sorry any of that happened to you. i'm so sorry that no adult on your life step up to tell you none of that is okay or to tell those classmates to stop. it must be horrible feel that threatened by people you're supposed to trust, that you have to see everyday. you deserve so much better than being surrounded by a environment like that and i hope you know that. but i have to insist: LO's not the kind of adult that will keep you safe and sound. she'll put you in danger. she might not be as obvious as that creepy library guy or talk openly about it like your classmates, but that doesn't mean she's a better option. she already did harm you by allowing minors like yourself to think it was okay and normal for an adult to "joke" like that on a public space where they could be present. groomers will make sure to appear as your friends, as the only adults you can actually trust, and make you feel as if they understand you, that everything they do and say must be okay because they were nice before so they couldn't do anything bad later. they don't start off being acreepy and demanding nudes right from the start, they wouldn't get any results that way. normalize that kind of behaviour for a minor to start finding nothing wrong about it is grooming. create that emotional connection and safeguard so you'll come out to defend her, ignore all red flags, ignore all warnings from others and justify everything... that is grooming. i'm so sorry but it is. she's not your friend, she doesn't care about you and never will. no DM is ever going to change that. i know plenty of women online and none of them behaves like LO. the ones that do, they end up being dennounced by a victim or many victims that will forever carry with that trauma with them, destroying any piece of trust you had on them. those women are dangerous and disgusting, and they don't deserve a platform just like LO doesn't either. i don't know how else to help you, anon. but i hope you stick around and see more things by yourself, because only seeing her side is the last thing you should do.

[parlerenfleurs]

It is a wild experience to me, coming on the internet and being confronted with the USAmericans, and now people all over the world, it seems, clutching their pearls with ~°*protecting the children*°~. About anything remotely sexual, mainly. Even things that aren't innately sexual like drag performers doing readings, apparently *eyerolls into infinity*.

When I was 5, I had access to books depicting, for children, (not "graphically" and certainly not erotically, but accurately) the sexual act between a man and a woman, in order to explain how things work and how babies are made. I saw a specially made short movie, again, for children, depicting the body of a woman and the full process of gamets coming together and cells division etc.

There was full frontal nudity in my dictionary, my dudes. Man and woman, hair and everything. That's called anatomy.

In primary school, my girl friends were talking about periods and sex and even some kinky stuff. Period sex? Yeah. Anal? Also yep. A lot of kids know about this stuff really early on, actually.

When I was in middle school, I don't remember what sparked the discussion, probably a book or a text we were reading, but we started talking about paedophilia with the teacher. The teacher guided the discussion, and did not shy away from it. We were old enough to bring it up/ask questions/have input, after all.

Children might have spotty knowledge, some may be more innocent longer, some may shock you by how wordly they are at a very young age. Some children have sex, even. And the more taboo and vague sex might seem the more some of them might be tempted to try it, not knowing if they're ready, or want it, or are with the wrong person. All humans are curious, children especially so because there is so much to be curious about. They should be informed about it. There is no earthly reason to avoid the subject or to think any little thing about the big wide world would traumatise them. Sure, graphic depictions are a big, big no, for anyone who doesn't fully understand what they're getting into/can't opt out of. But explaining, discussing, teaching? That's important, that's natural!

Any propaganda to the contrary aims not at protecting, but very transparently at dragging society backwards. At taking power out of the hands of people. Knowledge is power and protection, especially for children.

Sex is not scary or dirty or grave.

It can be, when it's made easy to take advantage of someone, though! Through ignorance! That's why it's important to know about it.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Your mind is such a gnarled Twisted Road of Forgotten and Repressed memories that are all still there but just waiting to either be accessed or pop up apropo of nothing. The longer you live the more stuff gets stuck up there until you feel like you forgotten more than most people have ever learned.

Yesterday on the way to my doctor's appointment for no apparent reason at all, I had the most insane memory of my young adulthood pop up.

I've talked a lot about my friend Margo who was killed when she was 9 months pregnant.

She was one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, in a period where I was this unhinged autistic 20 something year old whose mentality was more like a 13 year old.

I had no family. No rules, no ties, & sometimes I thought there was no tether to reality ---At least looking back.

And Margo was my ride or die girl for whatever crazy adventure I was going on. When I was 22 I got a huge tattoo of Stevie Ray Vaughan in the middle of my back. It is not the best because I did not research it I did not put any thought into it in fact I didn't even have an actual photo of him to go but I just had an artist or addition on a poster I bought. And I had no time to go in for extra sessions it was just like me walking in to a tattoo shop in Austin insane

"Hi, I'm here!! I can sit for 10 hours!! Will you put this on my back please!?'

Oh God looking back hurts. LOL

So after this, I somehow find out about a tattoo convention going on in dallas. I look back and I wonder how I knew anything back in those days like directions or who was playing what club when when there was no internet and it would take a couple of days for major city newspapers to reach me in my poor downtown in the middle of nowhere.

Of course I take Margot with me and we head out on the road. As we get into Dallas just as I am pulling up to a McDonald's I realize I have had a flat. At that time I was driving this gorgeous little mint green GMC sport truck. I had it for 11 years and put $150,000 miles on it and it was still growing strong but my husband refused on how to drive a standard and I got tired of taking him everywhere. Oddly enough when it came time trade it in it's like the truck knew I was giving it away and suddenly it started to falling apart.

Anyway my autistic ass just thought well I'm young, I'm cute, I'm helpless, I'm going to walk into this McDonald's and metals that I have a flat tire and someone is going to help me. And that is what happened exactly but remembering it now I think we could have been kidnapped or something.

There was this older gentleman sitting with a large group of people. I'm older I recognized that that was his Entourage and security. He was at the very least a drug dealer at the worst probably some really bad Mafia type dude. He was ethnic looking but looking back I cannot remember in the ethnicity.

He has beautiful and fashionably dressed women with him. And then he has a bunch of men. And of course they're well-dressed too. He stands up and calls me and want to go over to his table he asked what's wrong I told him we just drove up we have a flat tire it's just us(( like a dumbass you should never ever say that!!)).

He looked at the man and said "Change her tire."

He turned to the women and said

"Buy them something to drink.", and then looked at me and Margo and asked "What would you like?", in atone much nicer than the one he had used with his Entourage.

10 minutes later we were back on the road period But oh my God Whatever made me remember that now I don't know. But I thank God every day that He watches out for fools and children because we were both!!