#take some theory of knowledge courses or something

[thefluxsystem]

pro tip: wanting to demedicalize mental health & neurodivergence doesn’t mean “disregard science entirely”

[uyuforu]

Romance Numbers in Destiny of Matrix

Hi people! So I have been discovering Destiny of Matrix for some days and I LOVE this technique. And of course, anytime I discover some thing, I love to check with the people I know to see how accurate it is. Moreover, I feel like it hasn't been talked much on Tumblr? Like there are posts but not enough in my opinion. I wanted to try to give my interpretation as I have made some researches based on people I know. So this post is totally my own interpretation! Though, I hope this can give some insights, and some good tools too.

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ How to know when you will get married?

જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born?

જ⁀➴ Derivative Astrology: our Future Spouse in our Natal Chart

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What is Destiny Matrix?

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Destiny Matrix is an Esoteric tool that explores the 22 Arcana's of the Tarot to see a different approach of yourself and your life, as a Chart, similar to Astrology. It's a tool that also enable you to develop your full potential as an individual. Numbers and Chakras are used instead of signs, houses and degrees.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Calculate your Destiny Matrix Chart here.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Numbers on the Chart will go from 1 to 22, representing each Tarot's 22 Major Arcanas.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Colored Numbers are your main energies, they are also great tools to understand your true potential and why you came into this life, but also past life, desires, and your soul's purpose. Though this isn't the theme in this post.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Some more ressources on Tumblr here!

How do you use Destiny Matrix?

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ In this post, we will talk about the romance and love part of your life. And mostly numbers. On each sides of the chart, you'll see your different ages, representing different eras of your life. And above those different ages, you'll see a number, between 1 to 22.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ As you may have guessed it, those numbers will express the energy of what is happening in your life in those eras. It doesn't only mean one thing, it's a global energy. So this energy can be taken in romance, career, etc.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ It's more about energies and main events. It's a life forecast.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Now, each numbers above your different ages represent a Tarot Major Arcana, to know more, here is the Wikipedia page.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Of course, each Arcana have also their own energies and meanings, and the way I interpret cards have always been taking both positive and negative energies. In this tool, I think it's important to take both.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I have so studied this technique with my personal knowledge and thought of doing an observation post about it, please read this before continuing:

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Please know this post is based on my personal researches. I practice Tarot too and I have some knowledge on the cards, but I am still new at Destiny of Matrix. My main goal in this post is to give more insights and my own point of view on the matter. I of course use relatives and individuals I knows to support all theories here. This is truly an observation post. Please take it lightly!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Also please use your intuition, I bet you'll not have children at 5 years old, so even if you see a number that can indicate pregnancy, think twice that it might not happen when you are too young. Use your own discernment, and take it in an open-minded way! Those are possible indicators only!

Meeting your Future Spouse Numbers

1: The Magician

The first Major Arcana can be an indicator of meeting your Future spouse. This card is the very first card, which usually represents new beginnings, something new coming to your life. It also indicates lovestruck, beginning of a relationship, and building a story with someone. In this case, this can be taken as a something new starting, and def something major in your life.

5: The Hierophant

The Hierophant, also called The Pope, is the 5th card and is an indicator of meeting your FS. This card is considered linked to marriage, as the man on the card usually seal a union between two individuals. Usually this card represent a union that can go far, meaning to marriage. So this can also be an indicator of meeting someone you'll marry in the future. It seems like this number happened with people when they realized who they will marry.

6: The Lovers

The Lovers is the 6th card and it's also an indicator of meeting your FS! It's a quite strong indicator in my opinion, since this card is a divine union card, so soulmates for example are often represented with this card. You could meet a destined lover with this number, or just fall in love too.

10: The Wheel of Fortune

The 10th card usually represents major change in our life, so if you have a 10 number, this can be a year when you'll meet someone who will deeply change your life. This can be a year when you'll meet your FS, things will change!

14: Temperance

This number can also indicate meeting your FS, as this card is also a Soulmate card. Just as the Lovers card, you could meet a divine partner this year but also someone who you'll love deeply. It can also be a soulmate, but this can def be an indicator of meeting the person you'll marry.

16: The Tower

The Tower is also called "The House of God" in the French Version, and it can then represent something fated by a higher force. The number 16 can be a time when you'll meet someone who was "sent" to you, someone who is destined to meet you, and they could perhaps be your FS. It usually also represents a happy union.

17: The Star

The Star is the 17th card of the Tarot for Major Arcana, and it is a sign of hope, happiness and optimism. This number can also be an indicator of meeting someone who will bring you great joy. This is an indicator of having a protected Union, being a couple that will last a long time but also a couple who will having high chances to have children together. Fertility is a keyword for this card.

18: The Moon

So, at first I wasn't going to include this number but two of my family members got it the year they met their FS. So it caught my interest. This card can indicate meeting someone you'll want children with. And it is also a sign of fertility. This number can then be an indicator of meeting your FS since it also talks about meeting someone you'll feel at home and comfortable with, and perhaps meeting someone who is a soulmate too. I have also noticed a pattern with this number: both my relative who got this number met their FS while being in a relationship! Perhaps this can be an indicator...

19: The Sun

AH the Sun! The happy card! The Sun to me makes it obvious we need to add the number 19. This number will bring great happiness and joy into your life, so this can be a year you can meet your FS since they will usually (I wish you that at least), great happiness. This card represents union, a couple that is a great fit for one another, but also a couple that is very tender and wish to build a future together. But it also represents universal and unconditional love!

20: Judgment

The number 20 can be another indicator of meeting your FS. That number is about meeting a person who will be a major meeting in our life. It's also about love at first sight. But also about our destiny. So we could be meeting someone who was meant for us.

22: The Fool

This is the last card in the Major arcana, and it usually represents a meeting a new person in a very unexpected way. But it also represents honeymoon, and meeting a passionate lover. While this can be surprising for others, I think it's important to remember this card represents endings leading to new beginnings. So yes, this can also be an indicator.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mom was a 10 when she met my dad.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad only married my step mother, and he had number 10 the year he met her.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The year I met my FS online I was a 6.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ And the year we met in real life I was a 16!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Both my grandma and my aunt were a 18 when they met their FS, yet both met them at a time they were already in a relationship!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 20 when he met my grandma.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was also a 10 when she met my other grandfather.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My FS was a 16 when we first met and 5 when we met in real life.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ One of my best friend was a 5 the first time she met her FS.

Getting Engaged / Marriage Numbers

2: The Popess

5: The Hierophant

6: The Lovers

7: The Chariot

This card is about moving, and things moving fast, forward. An engagement or a wedding is a new step in a relationship, so this card can be an indicator.

8: The Justice

Marriage contract

10: The Wheel of Fortune

16: The Tower

19: The Sun

20: The Judgment

21: The World

22: The Fool

A new era of your life, something totally new coming.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my dad and step mother married, she was a 21 and my dad was a 20.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was an 8 when she got married for the second time.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 22 when he got married the second time.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandmother was a 21 when she got married too.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 5 when she got married.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ If I follow my predictions, I will be an 8 or 16 when I'll get married.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother has indicators of getting married soon and she will be a 7 soon LOL.

Pregnancies/ Having Children Numbers

2: The Popess

The Popess represents the oldest woman, the woman who has knowledges and experiences, so it can also represents a nurse, or women who help during the pregnancies. And it is also a sign, as the card itself, of pregnancies. It is governed by the Moon. It represents the desire to have children, and also to be pregnant. It is also a sign of maternal wisdom or nurturing.

3: The Empress (for women specifically)

The Empress represents the woman, and it is a major number to have for years to be pregnant. I would say that it represents being pregnant best, and more if you are a woman actually. This card is represented by Venus, and it is a huge indicators of being pregnant, being fertile, and having children. Pregnancy is a huge theme on this card. The Empress represents the mother in Tarot.

4: The Emperor (for men specifically)

As the Empress represents the mother, the Emperor represents the father! So if you are a man, this can be an indicator of becoming a father a certain year.

6: The Lovers

It wasn't an indicator to me at first but I saw two of my family members being a 6 during pregnancies or when they had a child, so I have decided to mark it. I guess since the Lovers represents being two, and when a woman is pregnant, she is two (her + the child), it can be an indicator. Both of those family members had this indicator with their first children!

10: The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune isn't necessarily a pregnancy indicator in Tarot, at least not specifically. But, this card represents big change or transformation in one's life. So it's obvious it can mean something is changing. This can so indicate pregnancies, and if you are a woman, this can even indicate something is changing in your body!

13: Death

While Death represents change and transformation, it can also apply in this case in my opinion. It means new beginnings, it's a card that indicates deep change, so even physically and mentally. So this can mean deep change and transformation in your body, but also in your life, as having children brings total new beginnings.

16: The Tower

This card brings happy news and it's a card about fertility, and also men's fertility. It represents pregnancies in some cases as it brings happy news specially to the home.

17: The Stars

This card represents women, fertility, feeling harmonious, and wishes for pregnancies. It represents possible birth and children.

18: The Moon

This is a feminine card too! A card ruled by Cancer, and a big indicator for pregnancies and children. In Tarot, this totally represents being pregnant. It also represents the desire to be pregnant, and the action to fall pregnant (so s3x, but def in order to be pregnant).

19: The Sun

So, there are two reasons as to why I think this can be an indicator. First, this card represents happy news, and so this is obvious (generally) a pregnancy is a happy new. But this card is also ruled by the Sun & Leo, and it so is the card of children.

21: The World

The World is a card that can also represents pregnancies. First, it's a card that has more feminine and women energies. This card represent the end of a project, and it can be the outcome of a couple project (what do couples do together... iykyk), it also represents a perfect project.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother had number 3 when she had me.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my step-mother was pregnant with my sister, she was a 18.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 10 during her first pregnancy.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The next years she is a 13 and then 16, I am pretty sure she will fall pregnant again (I have astro indicator of having a new cousin this year).

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 18 when my mom was pregnant, and a 10 when I was born.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ He was a 10 again when my brother was born.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was a 21 when she was pregnant with her first child.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Funny thing, my grandma was a 4 when she had my mother, but the story was that my grand father reallyyyy wanted a child that year.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was a 21 when she had my aunt.

FS being a Foreigner Numbers

For this part, we will focus on the numbers near the hearts, and actually those three (see pictures). Those numbers are indicators and a way to describe your FS. In those numbers, you can see if your FS can be a foreigner. Here are some numbers can indicate such thing.

7: The Chariot

The Chariot is a card that represents the act of moving, and it can also indicate traveling. Despite it's not necessarily a card that means this, it is still connected to the world, since the Chariot goes and doesn't stop. It can go anywhere, so this can be an indicator of having a foreign spouse.

14: Temperance

Temperance is a card that is related to holidays and traveling for vacations, so this card can also be linked to the foreign world. This card also reminded me of the foreign land, foreign people and people who are open-minded. After all, Aquarius rule over this card, so it makes sense.

19: The Sun

This can be surprising, yet I don't think it's a major indicator, but it can still be. Actually, the Sun as a card represent countries that are hot, and places where we can go on vacations, so this is again linked to foreign lands and foreigners.

21: The World

This one is obvious, the World literally represents what it is meant to. This is the biggest indicator to me.

22: The Fool

The last card of the Tarot to me is an indicator of having a foreign spouse as well, and I would say in my opinion, 2nd biggest. This card is ruled by Uranus, so Aquarius too. This card represents the travelers, people who go and just want to discover, curiosity, it represents "everywhere".

Not a lot of people around me married foreigners for now, I don't have much examples, except my FS is a foreigner and I have a 22 number lol. But this is just my guesses since those are cards that are linked to foreign lands.

Being Single / Breaking Up / Divorce Numbers

1: The Magician

New beginnings, starting a new project, cheating, being cheated on etc.

7: The Chariot

Moving on, moving to someone/ something else/ searching for something else.

8: The Justice

Breaking a contract, divorce.

9: The Hermit

Wanting to be alone, being left alone, someone breaking up with us, breaking up and staying single, being single.

10: The Wheel of Fortune

Change, suddenly breaking up, changing partner, passing from one partner to the other, etc.

12: The Hanged Man

Stop of a relationship, breaking up, divorce, the end of a relationship, leaving a partner.

13: Death

End of a relationship, divorce, separation, break up, being heart broken.

14: Temperance

End of a relationship, breaking up, could be a break up in good term, but also a break up because of miscommunication, couple not being made for each other.

15: The Devil

Cheating, being cheated on, doing terrible things against your partner, or your partner being terrible things to you, divorce, break up, leaving your partner for someone else, your partner leaving you for someone else, having bad intentions.

16: The Tower

Break up, divorce, separation, fights, arguments, cheating, being cheated on, breaking up on bad terms.

21: The World

Being rejected by your partner, being cheated on, partner breaking up with you, couple failing, couple not being made for each other, divorce, break up, cheating, wanting adventures.

22: The Fool

End of a relationship, stepping away from a partner, wanting to be single, being single, wanting to go on adventures, cheating, being cheated on, a partner leaving us, sudden endings.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my mom and dad divorced, my mom was a 13. My dad was a 10.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My step mother was a 12 when she and my dad divorced.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I was a 16 when I had a big break up with one of my ex who cheated on me (and then made me believe it was my fault lmao).

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt left her partner to be with her current husband the year she was a 10.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 12 the year he got divorced from my step mother.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand father was a 12 when he left his first wife.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand mother was a 10 when she left her first husband for my grand father.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandmother was a 8 when she got divorced from my grandfather.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[riyangiis]

prof nax's snoring problem ─ 1.1k words

professor anaxagoras has hair loss, and he's constantly being made fun of. but he has a problem worse than that, and he would rather die than have it spread around the grove.

professor anaxagoras definitely snores.

the bad thing is, you're the victim of it.

dear hyacine might've accidentally revealed that scholars experience hair loss, there's no doubt that snoring is also in the picture too, right?

sharing surnames and living together has made you happy indeed, but when you were first met with his snores and when it was directly at your ear, you barely slept that night.

as expected as it may be, it pains you to get used to nights of loud snores that keep you awake at night. you only let it slide knowing that the cause is your overworking husband hugging a dromas doll in his sleep.

you can't recall how many nights you stayed up because you couldn't stand anaxa's snoring, even though you were the one to convince him to rest for working and drowning himself in knowledge so much.

you only think about all of those sleepless nights now, in the hallway that leads to anaxa's classroom.

because said hallway is filled with the students' jokes of their professor's hair loss problem, which would then turn into theories of more problems, a lot of them including snoring. you try your best to avoid the students in order to avoid a full-on interrogation.

ever since hyacine's exposing, whenever his students spot the two of you, they would not stop bothering you!

"how did you find out professor anaxagoras had hair loss?" the curious student asked hyacine, but she stays silent knowing the wrath of said professor.. (he does in fact carry a gun with him for discipline.)

"im curious, [name]. what other problems does he have? does he snore?" the kind student asked you, but you too as well stay silent for you do not want your husband to find the students laughing about it, soon to be complaining and trying to find the messenger. (once again, he has a gun.)

"do you want to find out for yourselves?" you reply,

and that was a very, very bad answer. the clueless you would not think that they would take it seriously.

you walk in anaxa's office to see him working on equations or theories again, with some drafts set aside on his table making a mess. you sigh at the sight of him focused and not noticing your presence inside the room.

you walk over to him and tap his shoulder, "anaxa, you should rest now." he turns to you and opens his mouth to make an excuse, although he was met with your worried and sweet expression that he couldn't bear to say no to you.

neither of you noticed the subtle noises outside while walking to your shared room, the cause of them being the same curious students seeking to find an answer, maybe learning that behavior from their teacher.

when the both of you were preparing to rest, the students leaned closely to the wall, listening carefully to hear any signs of snoring but are still met with nothing. just as when they were about to give up─

very loud snore, from anaxagoras.

victory was theirs, for their questions have been answered.

they tried to hold their laughs at the sound of their strict teacher snoring so loudly, then left the place immediately to spread the message to their classmates.

being the sleepless spouse you are, of course you noticed, and you were terrified to see the anger to be formed inside him for being caught and made fun of for doing what is totally normal. yeah, snoring unbelievably loud that you can't sleep is so normal.

you were prepared to hear the whispers and the laughs inside the hallway, not the terror of your husband finding out that the students did such thing.

walking again inside the hallway to find something, you have created the scenario in your head already.

"hehe, did you know that prof nax snores?"

"he's always doing science stuff, i expected it!"

"no but, he snores very loudly!" giggles can be heard between the two girls.

just how you visioned it.

you freeze at the sight of anaxa walking in the other hallway to the classroom, students holding their laughs, you hide behind a wall to see what would happen.

anaxa gets close to a group joking about the same thing, close enough to hear that is. you watch as he stops in his tracks, head turning to the group,

"what is this talk about me.. snoring?" and there it goes.

heads turn away from him, clearly guilty of doing the same. anaxagoras scans the hallway and notices that most students know about it already, while the others are just finding out as the message is constantly being thrown around.

the group turned speechless and stared at the teacher nervously, "and may i ask how did you come up with such thing?"

one of the students, a brave one, answers. "w-we heard it from a lot of people.." anaxagoras stares into his eyes to see any hint of dishonesty, only to be met with fear.

"hmm, i'll have you know that it is nothing but a rumor. students like you should not believe in absurdity so easily." anaxagoras turns away from the group and goes on his way again.

the crowd stays silent. with proof or not, nobody dares to utter a word about it again. because this is about anaxagoras, and he has made it very clear that he has a gun with him countless times.

you chuckled when he dismissed it as nothing but a rumor, because you know well that you are going to hear those noises again. now you are listening to anaxa's complaints about how they found out.

"my students are too curious for their own good, how dare they share such thing that almost everyone jokes about it?" you laugh at the sight of anaxa stressed.

"really anaxa? a rumor? lying is one way to stop the truth from spreading." anaxa glares at you, "tell me.. were you the one to start it?"

"i only told them to find out for theirselves, and look what they did!" your smile grew wider, remembering the group that snuck out to answer their question.

anaxa sighs and holds your hand, "nevermind, it is not in me to care about useless things. let's go to bed."

in all honesty, you should be the one complaining. you had to deal with everything and you were maybe a little happy that you weren't going to be alone with the knowledge of your husband's snoring. now, he denied everything and said it was nothing but a rumor, leaving the students in fear of anaxagoras' anger.

the both of you lay on your shared bed, anaxa immediately falls to sleep, with you hearing the familiar sound of his snoring and seeing the dromas doll trapped in his arms.

professor anaxagoras does snore.

the bad thing is, it's now just a false rumor, and you're left alone having to deal with it again.

[glowettee]

🦢 you don't need more tips, you need to trust yourself

hey lovelies!! mindy here, back with another "no aesthetics post". so i've been thinking about this a lot lately (like, literally in the middle of the night when i should be sleeping but my brain won't shut up??) and i realized something that honestly changed everything for me. we're all obsessed with consuming advice, tips, strategies… but at some point we need to ask: is all this "help" actually helping?

i used to be that girl with 27 self-help books on her nightstand, 14 productivity podcasts in my queue, and approximately 10000 saved posts about "how to live your best life." i was drowning in good advice. and yet? i wasn't actually doing anything with it all.

here's the uncomfortable truth that i personally learned: collecting self-help is often just another form of procrastination. we trick ourselves into thinking we're making progress because we're "learning," but we're actually just avoiding the scary part, taking action when we don't feel ready.

✧ when you know it's become a problem:

you feel like you need to read "just one more" article before starting

you have notebooks filled with advice you've never implemented

you follow dozens of gurus but haven't committed to any single approach

you constantly switch systems hoping to find the "perfect" one

you know what to do but still feel paralyzed

you use phrases like "once i learn enough about x, then i'll start"

you feel overwhelmed by conflicting advice but keep seeking more

the most painful realization? all this consumption is actually making you less confident. every new piece of advice makes you question your instincts more. every contradicting tip makes you doubt your judgment. every perfect "before and after" makes you wonder what's wrong with you.

✧ why we get stuck in the advice loop:

consuming feels safe. implementing feels risky. reading about someone else's success story gives us the emotional satisfaction of achievement without any of the messy work or potential failure. it's like emotional junk food, momentarily satisfying but ultimately empty.

plus, there's something so alluring about the promise that the next book, the next course, the next system will finally be THE ONE that changes everything. we become collectors of solutions rather than solvers of problems.

✧ how to break free (ironic, i know… more advice):

declare an information fast. seriously. no new self-help for at least 30 days. it will feel uncomfortable, like an itch you can't scratch. that's how you know you need it.

pick ONE system or approach you've already learned and commit to it fully. not perfectly, just consistently. the magic isn't in finding the perfect system, it's in the consistent application of any decent one.

start before you feel ready. that knot in your stomach when you think about taking action? that's your growth edge. the discomfort isn't a sign to seek more knowledge, it's the signal that you're about to grow.

recognize that implementation creates wisdom that consumption never will. you'll learn more from a week of messy action than a year of perfect theory.

identify your "consumption triggers" do you reach for advice when you're afraid? uncertain? compare yourself to others? notice the emotional patterns.

create an "already know" document. write down everything you already know about your goal. you'll be shocked at how much wisdom you already possess.

trust that you are the expert on your own life. external advice can inform you, but it can never know the nuances of your specific situation like you do.

the truth is, you already know enough. you've probably known enough for a while now. the answers you're seeking outside yourself are usually already within you, buried under layers of doubt and other people's opinions.

what if the most radical act of self-improvement isn't finding new advice, but trusting the wisdom you already have? what if you already have everything you need?

so this is my gentle nudge to put down the self-help, close the tabs, unfollow the gurus (yes, even me if you need to), and start the messy, imperfect process of actually living instead of just learning about living.

because honestly, the world doesn't need more people who know all the right theories. it needs people brave enough to take imperfect action on what they already know.

xoxo, mindy 🤍

p.s. if you're wondering "but how will i know what to do without guidance?", that's exactly the point. you won't know for certain. and that uncertainty is where the real growth happens. trust yourself anyway.

[kyuuppi]

private server (1/?)

Pairing: Kenma x reader (she/her)

Tags: slow burn (?), internet friends to lovers, reader is a corporate slave with social anxiety, Kenma is a bit sassy and bad with feelings, lots of game references (Minecraft, DBD, Marvel Rivals, etc.), vtuber stereotypes, modern au

Words: 2.7k

Every 7pm after work, you boot up your old laptop and log onto Discord, where you begin a voice call in the private server only the two of you share. Kenma seems to have a natural sense for what you want to play just by hearing your tone when you greet him.

On your good nights, he allows you to practice duoing in the FPS games he’s known for playing. He takes on the role of support without a single complaint while you play DPS, regardless of how badly you feed. If anyone on the enemy team calls out your poor performance, Kenma makes it a point to repeatedly kill them in the most triggering ways.

On the nights you come on exhausted from a rough day at work, Kenma wordlessly boots up Stardew Valley or Minecraft, allowing the two of you to relax to the soundtrack in a comfortable silence.

Something about his quiet presence always eases your mind, and more often than not, you find yourself rambling about the things on your mind while the two of you play. The annoying habits of your coworkers, your biggest fears, the new dressing you tried on your salad at lunch–you end up eventually spilling everything to him while he quietly listens, occasionally making a soft hum or comment that lets you know he’s still there. 

In the beginning, you always worried that you were talking too much and boring this famous internet celebrity with the inconsequential details of your boring life. The moment you realized you were ranting, you’d suddenly cut yourself off with an embarrassed apology.

But that’s when Kenma would surprise you the most–rather than allowing the call to fall into the silence he seemed so comfortable with, he would ask a question so specific, and often related to a past bit of information you forgot you even told him, that it becomes clear he was listening to every word from the beginning. 

It was one of the things that made you realize you liked him more than you should. 

Kenma’s calm disposition had you confiding in him about thoughts you hadn’t even told your best friends, and he never made you feel judged or insignificant for them. Although he almost never started conversations, he always answered any questions you asked with a level of openness that surprised you, like he trusted you just as much as you trusted him. 

Even if–per the extensive searches you did on Twitter, Reddit, and even 4chan–you were 97% sure Kenma was single, you doubted he was interested in dating anyone, let alone dating someone like you who seemed to live in a completely different reality from him.

As your feelings developed, you spent more time than you’d like to admit imagining what type of partner would suit Kenma.

Of course, they would have to be someone with extensive video game knowledge who could match his own. Probably a professional gamer or maybe someone who worked in the industry. The long-haired gamer girls with high-pitched voices and hyper-pink bedrooms who frequently appear in your feed came to mind. All of them had dedicated fan bases full of men and women alike praising their good looks and fun personalities. Many were more than just pretty faces but also great gamers–certainly much better than you in nearly every metric. 

But somehow you struggled to picture Kenma–who spoke in soft low tones and wore the same black hoodie nearly every stream–dating any of them. 

You had considered some VTubers as well – you knew Kenma was mutuals with several big names and occasionally retweeted their merch drops. But that theory died after one particular conversation you had with Kenma over a casual Minecraft session. Feeling particularly insecure, you asked him about his thoughts on a trending busty bunny VTuber all your male coworkers had been chattering about over lunch, to which he responded with a deadpan, “she’s probably just another middle-aged man catfishing simps like most of them are.”  

The only remaining option you could see was some mystery person he knew in real life–perhaps a childhood friend or another streamer who mutually agreed to keep the relationship private.

In one of the rare times Kenma spoke to you about the people he knows in real life, he mentioned an “annoying” childhood friend who is always coming over to his house uninvited and an old rival from high school who now plays professional volleyball in Brazil. While you questioned the likeliness of such a long distance relationship between a professional athlete and a famous streamer, the fondness with which Kenma spoke of him made your chest feel hot with envy. For your own sake, you stopped contemplating Kenma’s romantic life after that and resigned yourself to just savoring the few hours of his time you get every night. 

The first shift in your friendship began in late April.

As a result of one of your coworkers falling sick with the flu, your supervisor assigned you to a cross-country business trip at the last minute. The abrupt shift in responsibilities from you background role in information management to direct client contact overwhelmed you and your usual routine with your internet crush was the last thing on your mind as you raced to pack an overnight suitcase and research clients you had never dealt with before. 

For the first time since you began talking to Kenma three months ago, you missed a gaming session without so much as a message. 

The trip ended up being busier than you had expected even with the support of your coworker who patiently led you through some of the more complicated business etiquette.

By the time you reached your hotel room late that first night, you were exhausted. Still, you had attempted to install the Discord app on your phone to at least give Kenma an apology for your absence. Discord was the only way contact information the two of you had of each other and up until now you had even preferred it that way, You were very intentional in keeping your Twitter where you retweet rather spicy anime fanart and K-pop idol abs top secret from him–not that his verified account with 300k followers would ever follow you back in the first place. 

However, the spotty hotel WiFi proved incompatible with Discord’s large file size, and you gave up after half an hour, stuck at 3% downloaded.  As you closed your heavy eyelids for the night, you mentally assured yourself that Kenma would understand your sudden absence–he is incredibly busy most of the day with his own business and recently complained about an upcoming collaboration with a famous clothing brand that has been demanding a large chunk of his time. He might be so busy himself that he doesn’t even notice you’re gone.

With that thought in mind, you drift out of consciousness to get a few hours of rest before your morning meetings. 

Three days later–two days longer than planned due to a misplaced thumbdrive and storm weather delaying flights–you find yourself finally on the familiar last train back to your apartment.

You twist your ankle restlessly in your work shoes, heels aching from being on your feet for the better part of the week. You utilize the half hour of freetime to finally check your socials. Several unopened emails from online shop subscriptions sat at the top of your personal email inbox, a few life updates from your friends in your texts, and an upcoming world tour from your favorite idols on Twitter. You make a mental note to respond to a group chat about everyone’s availability for the next “charcuterie board night” tomorrow morning. 

The last app you check is Instagram, expecting the usual posts from your college friends on vacations abroad or getting engaged that usually fill you with a sense of envy you don’t like to dwell on. You’re slightly surprised to see the note of a follow request and subsequent new message request in your DMs. You expect the usual influencer scam or sugar daddy bot expressing “interest in your page”. Instead, you see a very brief set of messages from a profile with no picture.

19:42 @ kodzu_ken2: hey this is kenma from discord

Your heart flutters despite yourself as you keep reading.

19:43 @ kodzu_ken2: u havent been online in a while…r u ok?

20:01 @ kodzu_ken2: we dont have to play ofc, we can just talk if ur tired

20:06 @ kodzu_ken2: or if u dnt wanna talk we can just b quiet in call

Kodzuken does not have an official Instagram–you know that for a fact because it was one of the first places you tried to follow him when a clip of his streams first came across your feed. And even if he did, you never shared your own Instagram handle with him so there was no way for him to follow you as your Discord name was completely different.

You tap on the default grey profile picture to his page and it is empty as expected. His bio and name are both left blank with 0 posts, 0 followers, and 0 following–evidence of a brand new profile.

In any other circumstance you would think it was a scam–perhaps one of the thousands of unofficial “kodzuken” pages on Instagram posting fanart and meme edits of the man. But the way of typing–from the shorthand to the word choice are so clearly the Kenma you’ve spent the past 3 months talking to. Moreover, your absence from your regular game sessions is something only Kenma would know about–not even your closest friends know that you’ve secretly been hanging out with a famous steamer. 

You’re typing back a reply before you realize it. 

22:46 @ yn_tofu: Hi Ken!! Sorry I didn’t message you sooner, I got forced into a business trip last minute at work 😵‍💫 I just got back to Tokyo a few hours ago

You nearly drop your phone when the message status immediately changes to “Read.”

@ kodzu_ken2 is typing…

22:47 @ kodzu_ken2: its ok 

You chuckle quietly at how Kenma his brief response is. An elderly man seated across from you shoots you an odd look before going back to his novel. 

22:47 @ kodzu_ken2: do u wanna play tonight?

Startled, you glance up at the information panel above the train door.  Five more stops until your station–then the trek to your apartment with a suitcase–even if you speed walk it’ll take at least another half hour until you’re seated in front of your computer. Your sessions with Kenma are usually well over by then–you finishing your night routine to prepare for bed then work the next day and Kenma starting his regular nighttime streaming session. Your chest clenches in preemptive disappointment.

22:49 @ yn_tofu: I would love to but I won’t be home for another 30 min 😭 

22:49 @ kodzu_ken2: thats ok. ill wait for u

You barely muffle a frustrated screech at how your heart skips a beat over the last sentence. The old man pointedly shoots you a glare before standing as the train comes to a stop. He shuffles off and the train doors shutter closed behind him as you clumsily type your reply. 

22:50 @ yn_tofu: Are you sure??? Don’t you start streaming around that time? I don’t wanna make you late or anything… ;;

22:51 @ kodzu_ken2: my stream is cancelled today

Cancelled? You feel your brows knit in concern as the train jolts to a start. It is rare that Kodzuken cancels a stream–in fact you can’t recall a single instance since you’ve known him. He generally plans his schedules several weeks in advance, posting the upcoming month’s schedule on the last Friday of the month without fail. When he takes vacations–like the time he told you he was going to Brazil to see his friend’s volleyball tournament, your brain mercilessly reminds you–he still streams for at least an hour from his temporary lodging.

22:51 @ yn_tofu: Oh no, did something happen? :( 

22:52 @ yn_tofu: I thought this week you’re playing that new Marvel Rivals game everyone requested…

As the train rolls to another stop you absently realize he’s taking a little longer to reply now. That’s fine of course–you’re just one of his many fans, maybe a casual Discord friend at best. He’s under no obligation to reply right away. 

22:56 @ kodzu_ken2: no, just dnt feel like it today. ill make up for it tomorrow

22:57 @ yn_tofu: Oh yeah? How do you plan to do that?

22:57 @ yn_tofu: Are you gonna finally do that Nagi from Blue Lock cosplay all your fans have been begging for? :p 

22:57 @ kodzu_ken2: ew no way in hell

22:58 @ kodzu_ken2: ill just spam that venom twerking emote in lobby. pretty sure thts the only reason ppl wanted me to stream tht game anyway 😐

You laugh out loud at both Kenma’s rare use of emoji and the mental image of him, blank-faced, spamming the infamous twerking emote in a stream while his chat goes crazy. 

22:58 @ yn_tofu: Idk kinda sus that was your first thought, Ken 🤨

22:58 @ yn_tofu: Its okay to admit you like Venom’s ass, this is a safe space 🫶

22:59 @ kodzu_ken2: i just gagged

22:59 @ kodzu_ken2: im not like u, i dont buy dlc just to stare at charas asses all game

23:00 @ yn_tofu: Omg I told you I did NOT buy Pyramid Head for his ass!! He is actually a really good killer…

23:00 @ kodzu_ken2: idk kinda sus that he was your first thought 🤨

23:00 @ yn_tofu: I hope you remember this convo when I’m kicking your ass in Smash in 20 min >:(

“Now arriving at Asakusabashi Station. The doors on the right side will open.”

The call of your station on the speakers jolts you out of your conversation and you scramble to gather your bags as the train doors open. 

Even rolling a stuffed suitcase and wearing heels you reach your apartment in record time, eager to hear Kenma’s voice for the first time in three days. Stripping off the top layers of your business suit, you don’t bother unpacking anything and just leave your bags, blazer, and shoes in a pile at the front door before taking the three steps to get to the desk next to your bed. 

You tap your bare foot impatiently while the fans of your ancient laptop loudly whirl to life. For once Discord seems not to require an update to open and you click the call button next to Kenma’s name without hesitation. 

He picks up in the first ring. 

“Hi,” you greet into your headset. You aren’t sure if it's from the excitement of talking to Kenma or the three flights of stairs you just hiked up but your voice sounds embarrassingly breathy to your own ears. 

“Hey,” he replies as coolly as usual. The familiar sounds of buttons click faintly in his background. Your chest feels warm and a tension you didn’t know you had leaves your shoulders as you relax into your swivel chair. 

“On my trip I saw some really cool architecture–Kyushu kinda looks like how I imagine Germany–anyway, I was thinking we can make a little cathedral for that empty space in our minecraft world we were talking about last week–”

“We can do that later.”

You bite your tongue, caught off guard by the abrupt dismissal. Wasn’t he the one who asked you to play with him tonight? Did you misunderstand something?

“Is your Switch charged?” He asks.

Said device sits conveniently plugged in at the corner of your desk when you glance over. 

“Uh, yeah.”

“Hurry up and log on then. I heard someone is planning to ‘kick my ass in Smash’ tonight and there’s a new Robin combo I’ve been wanting to test out,” Kenma drawls.

You can practically feel the smirk in his voice and you loudly groan as you reach for your Switch and mentally prepare for the inevitable slaughter.

a/n: Thank you for reading!! This is the first thing I've written in like a year ?? so ik its prob not great. :,,) When I start writing I usually just start with one scene and see where it goes then think of what character would fit the writing best but it almost always ends up being Kenma LOL. I fear he is truly my default.

[mothrabu-bu]

◇Metal Sonic design (and the original comic "Born to Fail" from which this is based upon) by @fernsnailz

♡Firstly, thank you fernsailz both for making the comic that inspired me to make my first, full fledged comic after several years of failing to do so, and also allowing me to do what I realize is the MOST self-indulgent and giddy i've ever been.

-----

♧Secondly, I am nervous, to write this. My knowledge of sonic is not vast. My understanding of characters may slip, despite all the research i put into them. My writing & character voice is subpar, but for once I have managed to create something out of love for this franchise and i think I needed this as well.

So even though I'm scared, frightened by the possibilies, every racing future in my mind that says "things will go wrong" "they will hate you" "you will be a failure" i find kinship in this character. Perhaps i too will learn to live. Perhaps i too will learn to love being alive.

So hopefully, this comic isn't too "out of character" or so blastfully horrificly beyond redemption as my anxious ridden brain percieves it be. I know, in my heart its not. But writing this out feels better than keeping the thoughts within me.

----

♤Thirdly, I know Chaos 0 isn't exactly a world-renowed beloved character that everyone does indepth analysis or theory crafting on. Thus, this ship may feel strange, or completely out of left feild to some.

In response, I have created an [ additional blog post ] outlining what I believe Chaos 0's character.

Of course, everyones interpretation of a character (what they represent, themes, and how they are handled) is largely a subjective process. So never take my iteration of him as gospel, and i encourage you (who are curious) to seek out information on him and determine for yourself who Chaos 0 is to you.

(That goes for Metal Sonic as well, but i'm focusing on Chaos because if not, who else will?)

---

☆Lastly, if anyone has tips or critque for me regarding making more belivable character dialouge, i'd be happy to hear. (Also theres a lot of artistic rendering inconsitencies- which is mostly because this took me a few months to make..😓✌️)

------

Bonus Short sketch comic under the cut:

[This is supposed to be a quick exploration on how exacly they mightve met in this particular continuity. It was made after the comic above was finalized, but i didnt want to leave the readers questioning as to what was going on.]

[Also some swearing because i am a chronic swearing sailor, and its funny.]

[mr-walkingrainbow]

DESCENDANTS: The Rise of Red! (or the REAL hidden story in the movie + what’s gonna happen in the sequel THEORY!)

So we ALL watched the movie right? We ALL thought the plot sucked and the movie ended abruptly with a underwhelming climax?

WELL HERES WHY WERE WRONG!

So I did some really deep thinking, and I figured, these writers can’t be THAT stupid? The director can’t be THAT idiotic, lame, and boring? That would just embarrass Disney, not to mention all the well respected actors that are in this!

So I thought hard. I thought hard and I thought long. Like hella long. And I tallied up all the plot inconsistencies, all the weird explanations, all the very specific lines in songs, and I did it. I fixed descendants rise of red! I FIGURED IT OUT!

So!! Here it is! What TRULY happened that crowncoming night! And what going back in time actually did!

(I intentionally put a keep reading so if anyone wanted to avoid spoilers they can)

So! Now that we’re under the keep reading. Anything spoilerly can be said!

So first things first. The biggest theory everyone is saying.

ELLA DID IN FACT POISON BRIDGET!

Yes! I said it! We all thought the movie was leading to this! So it was underwhelming when it was revealed it was Uliana and her crew were the origins behind the prank.

OR WERE THEY?

We all saw that once they opened the book; they were frozen. Because they were ‘bad’ and Merlin’s security system was set into place.

And many of you came up with the giant plot hole that this would have happened REGARDLESS of whether Red and Chloe interfered.

AND YOUR RIGHT!

This sole reason, is why the group COULDNT have done it! Not only were they frozen, but they couldn’t read the recipe, and were properly sent to detention, ergo exonerating them from being at the dance! Meaning their was literally no way they could have been behind the prank!

So with them being withheld from the dance, who could it be? Who was the one person who was originally at the dance, but now no longer could be? What was the one actual change that Red and Chloe set off?

ELLA. AND THE VASE!

We all see that when the two go into Ella’s house, Chloe knocks over a Vase. Breaking it. Lady Tremaine GROUNDS Ella! Meaning that she COULD NOT go to the dance!

This DIDNT happen originally! Meaning Ella DID go to the dance in the original timeline! Which is proven when Cinderella (I’m calling Adult Ella, Cinderella) talks to The Red Queen (I’m calling Adult Bridget The Red Queen) about how the prank being pulled was wrong. She had first handed knowledge of the prank. AND she told Chloe she fell in love with Charming at the dance.

But! Since Ella is the only difference in the two timelines in regarding to the dance, this is PROOF that she was the one who actually pranked Bridget, NOT Uliana and her crew!

So here’s what I think happened!

Ella, who saw Bridget being bullied about the cupcakes, and saw Uliana take all the cupcakes. And promptly being threatened by Uliana. Decided to bake Bridget something to cheer her up. However Bridget literally has all of the cookbooks in auradon. As shown. So she snoops around and finds Merlin’s cookbook! (Because it’s also shown she’s okay with breaking the rules if it’s for a good cause. From her get our hands dirty song!) and double and, the book WOULD open for her because she is a good person. AND she was doing it for a good reason!

she flips through the book and finds some simple blase recipe that cheers Bridget up. Maybe gives her cool hair (Red hair??). Something simple but sweet.

However. While doing this, she happens to see the Monster food recipe. She doesn’t look at it for long of course. Just enough to remember it’s a thing.

BACK TO BRIDGET!

Now! I swear to whatever’s out there that the person who played Chloe said there was a queer character in Dedcendants 4. I can’t find it now but it was some tumblr or insta post. I know cause I immediately told my friend afterwards.

Anywho. I think Bridget is the queer character! We see in the movie her only friend was Ella. Not only that but she YEARNS for someone to care about enough to ask her out (in a romantic way like charming just tried to do for Ella) Ella, who again. Is Bridget’s only friend. And ergo, shows her love no one else does, IMMEDIATELY asks her to go to the dance with her! (Might have said as friends in the other timeline too. Who knows)

But! This only makes Bridget’s crush on Ella even BIGGER. And she falls in love with her! She probably thinks they might have a chance!

This is also somewhat proven by The Red Queens song ‘Love Ain’t It’

Title ; Love Ain’t It

Red : “With all the Grief you’ve experienced”

Red (Speaking of Cinderella) : So you Knew her?

The Red Queen : I saw through her. Cinderella and I were classmates in a way.

(Notice how she uses Ella’s mocking name after she has time to recover from the interaction. She said ELLA originally when she caught her off guard. Also. The line. I SAW THROUGH HER. It’s a double edged sword. Saw through her fronts. Saw the hurting girl inside. Saw through her LIES saw the mean girl behind)

Proven by the next lines

The red Queen : I spent way to much time in this place

So I had to escape

the people might smile

but their two faced, too fake.

Girl was relentlessly bullied and betrayed by someone she loved

And Ella Knows it.

Cinderella : Some people act mean at first, because their too afraid to feel

[the reverse is also true]

Cinderella : Look hon. Back in high school, a mean prank was played

And ever since that fateful day

She was never the same, it’s quite a shame.

So the Red Queen sings a whole song about how Love isn’t it. And we ALL KNOW that her only connection to love as a kid was through ELLA. meaning Bridget HAD A CRUSH on Ella. Was IN LOVE. With Ella.

So. How did Crowncoming originally happen you ask?

Here’s my theory

Ella and Bridget go to the dance. They are happy! They have fun. Bridget falls further in love with Ella. Meanwhile. Ella falls in love with Charming!

Her and Charming hit it off. And Ella starts to feel loved and appreciated for the first time in her life.

Then, Bridget performs her ‘Shuffle of Love’ dance. All the attention is on her! Even Charmings.

Ella feels robbed. She feels jealous. She feels angry that her friend is stealing the one good moment she is finally having to herself.

And so she briefly remembers the spell. And in a moment of error, she either A. Remembers the recipe already and makes the recipe. Or B. Re-Sneaks back into the office to see it. However I’m going with A because the book wouldn’t have opened again for Ella because of her bad intentions.

Whichever way. Bridget eats the baked treat. (I think it was a cupcake. Ella could have lied and said it was from the earlier batch)

And then. IT HAPPENS! Bridget is turned into an ugly terrifying monster. Everyone LAUGHS at her. Everyone makes fun of her

And Bridget, who is confused, understands only ONE person could have done this to her. She looks at someone she was in love with. And just sees Ella and Charming laughing. Laughing at her. Bonding over laughing at HER.

Bridget runs off. In tears. Broken inside. With an equally broken heart.

Maybe if Ella had immediately realized her error and run after her she would have turned out differently. But no. It is proven that Ella stayed at the dance and stayed with Charming. They wouldn’t have had the chance to fall in love if she left.

So Bridget. Spends the rest of the night terrified. Looking like a monster. And being laughed and screamed and made fun of everywhere she goes. And not only that. But her ONLY FRIEND. Her CRUSH. Someone she TRUSTED did this to her

Now THIS! THIS is something can break a person. This is something that can change their views on the world. On humanity itself. She was a kind girl. Was kind to everyone no matter how meanly they treated her. But through it all, Ella was her rock. Her friend. Her secret love. Someone who was good and kind through it all.

But she betrayed her. Tbe one nice person betrayed her. Showing that being nice doesn’t do it. Being nice does not mean good things happen. Being nice doesn’t is worthless if this is what it gets you. Everyone is two faced. And the only thing that’s real. The only thing she CAN feel. Is hurt. And pain. And fear. And so that’s what she swears to become. That’s what she swears to do. Be mean and cruel and heartless so she never has to feel all this pain ever again. So her eventual DAUGHTER never has to feel this again. It’s better to be alone and feared. Then alone and broken.

Ella probably realized the error of her ways the next day. But as she said. It was too late. Bridget was never the same.

This Explains why they had so many odd interactions. The raw feral burning chemistry between them. All the odd phrase. Why The Red Queen would be okay sending her BEST FRIEND to death. Why she would be okay killing her. And taking over auradon. To Her? Cinderella is the one who made her this way.

but also part of her still remembers. Still cares. It’s why she gave her once chance to kneel to her. (And as we’ve noted in the books and movies. She doesn’t give ANYONE else a second chance. She punishes I’m immediately and harshly)

And so! With all of this happening. Theirs gonna be some catylist in recent times. The Red Queen might be nice now. But something will have changed. Ella never went to the dance. (She clearly fell in love with charming somewhere else cause otherwise Chloe would have disappeared) but something happened when she wasn’t at the dance. Something that caused another problem. And THATS gonna be the sequel to this movie. Descendants : Rise of Red part two.

(as we’ve seen the official script for the movie is literally called Descendants : Rise of Red part one. MEANING they wrote it with the purpose of being part one to either a sequel or a threequal)

And THAT! Ladies and Gentleman, is what I think the REAL plot behind Descendants : Rise of Red is! A movie that is not idiotically not thought out at all, but really something so secretly genuis is blows your mind!

Hope you enjoyed!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

One thing that irks me when playing the game is how silver’s sleeping disorder is reacted to by the other characters, especially the teachers. I mean like, I get on some level that they’re all based on villains so they’re not going to be the nicest, but you’re telling me you see a kid just passing out out of nowhere constantly and the first thing they do is say that he’s lazy and berate him for something he obviously can’t control? Even if his condition isn’t a medical one like narcolepsy and is part of his curse/blessing, it’s still debilitating and affects his daily life. I don’t expect twisted wonderland to have like, disability protection but give the kid a break man he’s trying his best 😭. It also bothers me when other students are like “yeah man I get it schools boring I get sleepy too”. Like, yall have seen him suddenly fall asleep standing up and in random places on campus, it is so obviously not the same thing! And then Silver apologizes for it like every time! no! stop it! don’t apologize for something you literally can’t control

Sorry for the rant. It’s just been something bugging me because its so similar to how real world disabilities that aren’t physical are often brushed over by people and it gets me feeling heated 😭

Oooh, that's an interesting analogy 🤔

Before I talk more on the topic, I want to open with a few disclaimers: I will be discussing various characters’ reactions to Silver’s blessing/curse-induced narcolepsy (for lack of a better term), which may parallel real-life reactionary behaviors related to persons with disabilities or disorders. Know what you are reading, and please skip this post if you do not feel emotionally equipped to take it in.

Additionally, I want to make it clear that I am NOT defending any of those behaviors in this post. I will be attempting to offer in-universe explanations, NOT excuses, for why characters may act the way they do in regard to Silver’s condition. This doesn’t make the behavior any less unacceptable.

That’s all! If you’re all set, feel free to proceed below the cut.

I think, from the perspective of the students, it may be difficult to know what's going on with Silver?? Of course, that doesn't make their reactions or their behavior okay, but it's more understandable where they're coming from. Many young adults (unfortunately) aren't educated on and don't have experience/knowledge of how to handle situations where a peer displays abnormal behaviors. This may be especially true at Night Raven College, where the students are described to be very prideful and primarily concerned with themselves, or, if they help at all, they expect something in return. Many of Silver's classmates may not know him on a personal enough level to be familiar with his affliction or care enough to intervene if he falls asleep standing up. I doubt that most students at NRC would think of a peer beyond how they initially present, much less even consider factors beyond their control.

Additionally, others may not feel a need to step in due to the "bystander effect", a psychological phenomenon in which people are less likely to offer aid if there are others present. The theory goes that everyone just assumes someone else will do something about the situation, which has the unintended result of no one doing anything. Since Silver often falls asleep in public places, this could, in part, explain why so few bother helping.

I guess another component of it could be that some of his peers have simply gotten used to it by now?? (Several characters, even first years like Ortho, indicate that they anticipate he will fall asleep like 80% of the time.) Silver's a second year, so maybe NRC students did notice and attempt to assist in the first year, only to become annoyed with it when the symptoms persisted and so it could have led to peers thinking it's a "normal" thing for him.

I get the sense that Silver doesn't exactly go around telling everyone and anyone about his condition in detail (not that he has to, but I'd imagine that this lack of communication probably doesn't help his classmates' perception of him). He tends to describe his condition as "a personal problem" or blames himself or a lack of diligence for his symptoms. And honestly, I don't blame him for that; he didn't learn about the origins of his curse until book 7, and no doctor Lilia took him to could help. What else could Silver feasibly believe when all else fails? It must be his own doing. Silver has numerous voice lines apologizing for dozing off again and actively seeks out ways to "correct" or counteract his sleepiness. When this is how one presents their own condition, it may naturally cause those around him to believe that the sleepiness is "his fault"/due to his own actions. "Maybe he stayed up late last night," Ruggie suggests. Even Kalim, someone I'd consider Silver's friend, makes similar assumptions.

I will say that not every character is rude to Silver about his sleepiness. Vil might berate Silver for "playing the part of a sleeping princess" and Floyd might tell him, "People walk here. Find someplace else to snooze," but Ruggie appears to show some concern/shock for Silver when he shows up in the school store barely being able to stand, Jade tries to wake him up gently, etc. I'm not sure if the writing being inconsistent here was on accident or not, but I do think that some of the... less than desirable... behaviors may be because the narrative treats Silver's condition like a charm point most of the time. Like... Silver's sleepiness is often used to "sell" his appeal to fans ("Look at how cute he is! Eepy boi!"), or used for comedy in-universe (like when he uses Sebek as a pillow or when Silver blatantly falls asleep in a conversation or in the middle of an important event like the race in White Rabbit Fest). Because of this, rarely is his condition actually treated with the seriousness it would get if this were a real-world disability.

I think there’s a debate to be had about these kinds of impolite comments coming from Sebek though. Sebek is Silver’s childhood friend, so Sebek must be accustomed to the narcolepsy at this point and we’d normally expect him to be most sympathetic about it. But nope, Sebek actually frequently criticizes Silver for letting his sleepiness get the better of him. The majority of other students’ harsh comments towards Silver actually come from Sebek. He drops lines like:

“Don't you dare tell me you're falling asleep again, Silver!”

“His blatant snoring is infuriating.”

“Wake up, Silver! You're blocking Malleus's path! It's absolutely disrespectful!”

“If you don't cease at once, I'm leaving you on the side of the walkway!”

“It’s not as if you've been enchanted by a fairy. You’re just lazy!”

This all sounds horrible and mean, doesn't it? And they definitely are. But hold on! Sebek also says things like, "You're nodding off while walking AGAIN? A proper retainer of Malleus should hold his head high! High, you hear me?!” and, “Please, don't [volunteer yourself for this task]. You'll just end up nodding off. You must accept this is beyond your capabilities and let it go.” The former can be seen as telling Silver to do his best as Malleus's retainer and the latter is advising Silver to back down rather than push himself past his limits. That's not just me being optimistic or giving Sebek the benefit of the doubt just because he's a character I happen to like--Sebek has a known history of phrasing compliments and encouragement in a very rude manner. It's a trait of his that earns him endless ire, and something that Silver often finds himself apologizing to others for. Sebek is also a person who values constant self-improvement both in himself and in others; his cold attitude towards even his childhood friend can be interpreted as his own way of wanting Silver to do his best in spite of his condition. This… isn’t always a good thing though, as this thinking is ultimately ableist and runs the risk of pushing people—himself included—into dangerous situations that may out their wellbeing at risk.

This isn't to defend every single thing Sebek says about Silver's condition though; some of them are definitely too much, even if Sebek is granted as much leniency as possible. Do his comments come off as ableist? Absolutely. Is it his intention to be ableist? I don’t believe so—but that doesn’t negate the fact that his words are needlessly cruel, even if Silver doesn’t perceive it as such or take offense to it. Oftentimes Silver agrees with Sebek’s assessment, which again loops us back to how he already blames himself for his state and could parallel real world disabled peoples’ guilt and shame for just… being the way they are. Us, as the outside onlookers, are of course more likely to perceive Sebek’s words as rude because we’re projecting our own experiences onto what we’re seeing. Of course we don’t want to see a friend saying these awful things to another friend—but between Silver and Sebek, they seem to be mutually okay with this dynamic of pushing one another to “be better”.

I understand that it can be frustrating watching Silver have to say sorry for something that he can't control, but this is most likely a deliberate writing choice for his character arc—and depicting that flaw isn’t bad in a vacuum. Silver is someone who struggles with his self-worth, something we very much see come into fruition in book 7. He worries that he's not doing enough to "repay" his father back, and that it will be too late for him once Lilia departs from NRC. Silver frequently apologizing for his "shortcomings" (ie his constant drowsiness) is probably an extension of that lack of self-worth. He blames himself for his lack of alertness and actively tries to "be better" for a reason. It feeds into the ever-so-ironic cycle of "Silver is sleepy" -> "Silver thinks he must work hard to not inconvenience his loved ones and prove his worth to Lilia" -> "Lilia loves him anyway and he just doesn't realize it yet". (The whole reason Silver is even here right now is because of Lilia's love for him; he would still be sleeping were it not for Lilia.) Perhaps they'll be able to formally reunite in the waking world and wrap up this arc with a neat little bow... with his father telling Silver that yes, he is enough as he is now. Maybe Lilia will even say something along the lines of, "Never apologize for what--or who--you are, Silver. You're my son, after all! You should be proud of that."

This makes me wonder if Silver’s curse will ultimately be lifted in the end or if it will persist…? Because if it does get lifted, then it loses some of its strength as a parallel to irl conditions (since some don’t just poof away). Within the meta of the game, Silver then also loses some of his “appeal”, since sleepiness is a cute trait associated with him. I can see why it would happen from a narrative perspective though—ridding him of the sleepiness could be the ultimate “proof” of Lilia being able to truly love him, which is the condition the blessing requires to be dispelled

What really baffles me, however, is how some teachers are depicted interacting with Silver. The asshole students of NRC, okay. I'd believe they'd be callous towards one of the few nice guys at school dozing off. BUT THE TEACHERS????? 💀 Usually it's not that bad (they tell Silver to keep his eyes open or to wake up), but MAN. In Silver's Labwear vignettes, Crewel berates him for nodding off in class again, grants him a makeup assignment, and says, "If you like sleeping so much, [formulating a sleeping potion] should be right up your alley." He even withholds Silver's credit for Potionology until he receives that sleeping potion. Crewel also berates and punishes Silver in other instances, such as his Dorm Uniform vignettes: "Naughty pup. You think you can sleep through my lesson? [...] What a quick apology. Are you actually sorry? [...] You don't look remorseful to me. Hmph. As punishment, you must collect the reports everyone is turning in at the end of class. Do not miss a single one, and you are to bring them straight to me. Is that clear?" It feels a little… much, especially considering that it’s not like Silver chose to fall asleep midclass, especially as a second year. Then again, Crewel probably doesn’t know about Silver’s condition either so he most likely attributes the behavior to laziness, as Silver does himself. I’d say that Crewel should still at least know a little better as an adult but 💀 many adults have no clue themselves, especially without a formal diagnosis.

Does NRC not have a, like... Disability and Accessibility Center to coordinate with teachers and give certain students assignment/exam extensions??? Therapy, healing potions, and medical mages + regular doctors and dentists exist in this world, so why wouldn't they also have disability support??? 😭 That seems like a HUGE oversight to me. (Get on that, Crowley/j) In all seriousness though, this may be the result of differences in culture?? It might be expected in western countries to have some disability accommodations, but from what I understand, there’s a loooot more stigma in Japan so these services may be lacking (not to day that western countries have perfect accommodations though). Yes, NRC is based on a British boarding school, but ultimately the game is Japanese in origin and therefore might be running off of Japanese notions of what constitutes as “appropriate” support for the disabled. (The way seating in classes are arranged in-game already derive from Japanese schools; alphabetically by last name.) Maybe that’s why Crewel didn’t seem to be willing to make exceptions for Silver…? But even so, this could mirror how western societies also have trouble identifying and adjusting to those with disabilities. It can be hard to get treatment or even mindfulness from peers, especially if you don't have a formal diagnosis (which is the case for Silver; no medical mage knows what's up with him).

Those are my thoughts on the topic ^^ Again, I completely get why seeing the staff and students reacting this way to Silver’s condition makes you (and others, I’m sure) upset. There’s many uncomfortable parallels with how people irl are insensitive to “invisible” disabilities or disabilities in general. It also doesn’t help that Twst tries to both present the condition as a serious matter while also using it for comedy and marketing as Silver’s major “cute quirk”. Getting mixed signals here!!

I hope that this was at least able to grant you some new perspective about why the characters behave as they do. Some of it does seem to be the devs struggling to balance the tone of the stories they want to tell, but some of it also feels like intentional characterization (whether of individuals or of a certain dynamic between a duo) or setting up for an arc.

It would be interesting if we got an event where we explored more of the health industry and attitudes about like… magic-induced conditions, illnesses, etc. Silver is one obvious case of this, but we also know medical mages are A Thing. I’d love to learn more about these!

[witchyintention]

How to Be a Witch or Pagan Without Falling for Conspiracy Theories and New Age Cult Stuff

Witchcraft and paganism offer beautiful, empowering ways to connect with the world, the divine, and yourself. But let’s be real: the spiritual community can sometimes feel like navigating a metaphysical minefield. From “lizard people control the world” conspiracies to the pervasive influence of New Age cults, finding your way as a witch or pagan can feel daunting. So, how can you embrace this path while keeping your wits about you? Let’s dive into it—no tinfoil hats required.

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1. Know Thyself and Do Thy Research

One of the most powerful tools for any witch or pagan is knowledge. Before diving headfirst into spiritual practices or belief systems, ask yourself:

What am I looking for in my path?

What resonates with me spiritually and ethically?

How can I learn more from credible sources?

Avoid treating every book, blog, or TikTok video as gospel truth. Instead, prioritize research from reputable authors and scholars. Look for historical, cultural, and anthropological contexts behind practices and beliefs. For example, if you’re exploring Norse paganism, read the Poetic Edda, but also check out scholarly works like Hilda Ellis Davidson’s writings.

💡 Pro Tip: If something sounds too fantastical or claims to have “secret knowledge,” approach it critically. “Ancient Lemurians built the pyramids” is not archaeology—it’s a conspiracy theory.

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2. Critical Thinking: Your New Familiar

While spirituality embraces the unseen and mysterious, it doesn’t mean suspending all logic. Here’s how to keep critical thinking in your witchy toolkit:

Fact-Check Everything: Whether it’s a viral claim about moon water curing all ailments or a new trend like “quantum jumping,” take a moment to verify its origins.

Ask Questions: Who benefits from spreading this belief? Are there ulterior motives, such as selling courses, books, or products?

Beware the “Cult of Personality”: Be wary of influencers or leaders who discourage dissent or demand unquestioning loyalty. Spirituality thrives on diversity of thought.

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3. Beware of Spiritual Bypassing

Some New Age ideas encourage bypassing real-world issues in favor of “high vibes only.” While positivity is great, ignoring trauma, systemic problems, or mental health struggles in the name of spirituality is toxic. True witchcraft and paganism embrace balance, acknowledging both the light and the shadow.

✋ Red Flag: Anyone who tells you to “just manifest” your way out of hardship or suggests that you’re attracting negativity because of bad energy. Life is more complex than that.

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4. Stay Grounded in History, Not Appropriation

A common pitfall in modern paganism and witchcraft is cultural appropriation masquerading as spirituality. Using sacred practices or symbols from cultures you’re not part of without understanding their context can be harmful.

If you’re drawn to a practice, research its origins and ensure you’re honoring it respectfully.

Consider focusing on traditions tied to your own ancestry or exploring paths open to everyone, like modern witchcraft.

🌿 Example: Smudging is a specific Indigenous practice. Instead of co-opting it, explore alternative smoke-cleansing methods with herbs like rosemary or lavender.

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5. Cult Warning Signs: Spot Them Early

Not all cults look like Hollywood’s hooded figures chanting in candlelit basements. In spirituality, cult-like behavior often hides under the guise of community.

Red Flags Include:

An authoritarian leader or group demanding absolute loyalty.

Isolation from family, friends, or outside perspectives.

Fear-based control tactics, like threatening spiritual punishment for leaving.

Heavy financial exploitation (e.g., expensive courses or “required” donations).

💡 Remember: True spiritual communities empower you to think for yourself, not rely on a single leader or system.

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6. Separate Science from Spirituality

You can be a witch or pagan and still respect science. Magic doesn’t have to contradict reality—it works alongside it. For example:

Herbs like chamomile and valerian have scientifically proven calming properties, but that doesn’t mean they’re a cure-all.

Astrology can provide insight into your personality, but it’s not a substitute for therapy or medical advice.

🌙 Balance: Use spirituality as a tool for meaning and connection, not as a replacement for critical thinking or evidence-based practices.

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7. Build Your Own Practice

You don’t need to follow every trend or adopt someone else’s path. Witchcraft and paganism are deeply personal journeys. Create a practice that aligns with your values and beliefs, free from the noise of conspiracy theories or cult-like pressures.

Ideas for Starting Out:

Learn about local folklore or the natural cycles in your area.

Experiment with simple rituals, like lighting a candle with intention or journaling under the moon.

Create an altar with objects that resonate with you—crystals, photos, or even trinkets that make you smile.

🌟 Most Importantly: Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to say “no, thanks.”

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8. Community: Seek Connection, Not Control

Connecting with other witches and pagans can be enriching—but choose your circles wisely. Look for communities that:

Encourage discussion and critical thought.

Respect individual paths and practices.

Avoid fear-mongering or elitism.

👀 Where to Look: Online forums, book clubs, or open public rituals are great starting points. Just remember to maintain healthy boundaries.

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9. Grounding Techniques to Avoid Falling for the “Woo Woo”

When exploring spirituality, it’s easy to get carried away. Grounding yourself regularly can help you stay centered:

Meditate or practice mindful breathing.

Spend time in nature, whether it’s a park or your backyard.

Write down your beliefs and revisit them regularly. Are they still serving you?

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10. Be Open-Minded, Not Gullible

It’s okay to explore the mystical and unknown, but there’s a difference between curiosity and naivety. Stay open to new ideas, but don’t abandon discernment. Your path should feel empowering, not overwhelming or manipulative.

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Final Thoughts

Witchcraft and paganism are all about connecting with nature, yourself, and the divine in ways that feel meaningful and authentic. By staying grounded, informed, and true to yourself, you can embrace this path without falling prey to conspiracy theories or cult-like traps.

Remember: You’re the captain of your own broomstick. Fly wisely.

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How to Support the Blog

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[cube-cumb3r]

part 2: What's the deal with Manneq- SIMULTANEOUS PARALLEL REALITY THEORY IM CRAZY IM CRAZYIM CRAZY IM CRAZY

This is the second part of me trying to make sense of the Mannequins in ENA. Read pt. 1 here, if you want. Or don't!

I'm not entirely satisfied with the explanation of "Mannequins are spawnpoints" because it doesn't really explain how the Mannequins got there in the first place. How did so many Mannequins coincidentally end up near locations where it just so happens that Ena is likely to respawn?

I pondered a little bit about the role of Mannequins in the Youtube series as well, and if I could tie that into their role in the game. To my knowledge, there's only one episode where the Mannequins make an appearance, and that's Temptation Stairway.

I don't think about Ulysses often. The most I think about him is the fact that the song that plays when Ena talks to him is such a peculiar banger. But, given that he's the first character in the Youtube series to mention Doors before their existence got fully elaborated on in the game, perhaps more of his dialogue isn't just ominous and strange nonsense.

One of his lines is (paraphrased) "But heed this warning: desires are never fulfilled, nor quenched. You will fail. Like the rest of them."

So who is the rest of them? (other than Moony?) Taking the video at face value, the answer seems pretty simple, it's the Mannequins. They can be seen climbing the Great Runas in the beginning of the episode, and then later on her way, Ena walks past some lifeless ones in various places in a similar manner they are found in Dream BBQ, or they're... lamenting? In this strange space?

Other than that, without any further context, there doesn't seem to be that much to say about the Mannequins in Temptation Stairway, they seem to just be Mannequins. They're these sort of anonymous and ambiguous figures that also seem to have the same goal as Ena, reaching the Great Runas. All of which are failing, it seems.

After Ena meets Ulysses, she of course meets the Shephard who says her infamous "Arghh... another ENA troublemaker." line, which has of course been interpreted to mean millions of things. That being said, literally moments after this scene, we see other Enas when Ena enters the holy code. It seems sensible to assume these are the Enas she's talking about. (Because of Species Theory TM, no one ever really asks how they got here, why they look nearly identical to our Ena, and why they're unmoving. But that's besides the point.)

Most importantly for the purpose of this post, for some frames, they glitch into Mannequins.

(I would be remiss if I did not mention that right after this sequence, there's a data matrix on the wall that when decoded says "FORGET YOUR PAST". Make of that what you will.)

We already know there are multiple simultaneous instances of Ena in some manner, given that the Shepherd has met multiple of them. Given where the Shepherd is located and based on her dialogue, it's likely too that the Enas she met were also attempting to reach the Great Runas as well. That's another set of individuals that are attempting to reach this divine being, other than the Mannequins (and Moony).

So, when Ulysses says "You will fail, like the rest of them", maybe he's talking about the lifeless Mannequins that Ena walks past on her way to the Great Runas. Or, maybe he's talking about the other Enas that can be seen in the holy code. Or you know, both.

Or, perhaps, there's no difference between the two.

Time and reality seems to be a bit weird in the world of Ena. When talking to the remnants of the former Genie, she will offer her memories, to show Ena a reality where Ena did succeed. And this "reality" is (presumably) the reality where Ena had successfully reached the Bathroom, and the events play out the same as if you had done so.

This seems to imply that despite the fact that the sequence of events that led to Ena successfully reaching the Bathoom was not something the Ena you're currently playing as ever experienced, given that the Genie describes it as "her memories", from her perspective, it still happened. Both realities seem to co-exist.

What does that have to do with Mannequins? Well,

Here's my crazypants Theory. Rather Mannequins being a "spawnpoint", they're rather sort of... glimpses of other realities or timelines.

This Mannequin is found on the path that Ena was quite literally walking on before she stops, and she nearly gets caught under the falling structure from above. Perhaps in another alternate sequence of events she didn't stop, and kept walking. And that's what that Mannequin is.

Or this Mannequin found on the other side of the bridge, underneath the floating platforms leading up to the Orb. Perhaps in alternate sequence of events, Ena did end up falling while attempting to ascend to the Orb.

In fact, you can even experience this in-game. If you fall while attempting to climb up, you will "teleport" back to various checkpoints at different points of the ascent. So what if it's not "teleportation" that is happening, but rather you are being "transported" to a version of reality where she didn't fall. Whatever you just experienced did not happen to this Ena. But, you can still see evidence of this having happened, in some version of reality, when you look at the tops of these buildings.

(edit 5/5/25:) A new patch came out today which added a new interaction with the file compressor, where you can compress files more and more until they explode, causing Ena to stumble backwards after which you "respawn" in the center of the roundabout again.

Interestingly enough, with this new interaction they also a new lifeless Mannequin, which can be found dismembered exactly where Ena would've been blown up by this zip bomb. Even more interestingly, this dismembered mannequin is already there even before you've interacted with the zip compressor. As if it's already happened. But not to you. (Yet.) (end of edit)

(Now, I am aware that it's an absurd claim to suggest every single Mannequin here is parallel Ena. That might not be plausible. But I think it's sensible to assume at least some of the Mannequins we see across the series and game may be.)

When the broken Genie shows you a different reality, if you talk to Unforgiven Frank next to the ship, he will still recall your earlier interaction, despite the fact that in the reality where you succeeded in reaching the Bathroom, you would've never encountered him in the Lost Village.

So, it seems these are not distinct and separate realities, but somehow both true at once. Similarly to how the realities where Ena fell in a river or a pit, and the realities where she didn't, are both simultaneously true. And similarly how the Shephard has already met Ena, even if this Ena has not met the Shephard.

Does she retain anything across iterations? Does she collectively experience all of them at once, or just one at a time? It seems for the most part, Ena does not have information that she would've obtained in any parallel iteration of herself, because she needs to ask for it, this is the case in both Temptation Stairway and Dream BBQ. But it seems in some cases she does have information from sequences of events she herself has not experienced, like how she can aspire for Frank's forgiveness despite never having met him (though of course, maybe they already met prior to the events of Dream BBQ.) Perhaps it's as the Shaman said, while perhaps she can, if she were experiencing all of them simultaneously, she would be lost in her own mind.

This theory is not rock solid, there's some things that still don't quite make sense. If you're up on the Orb Island after ascending, you can quite literally jump down all the way to the bottom and be fine, so why would another iteration Ena not make it from falling during her climb? Or, if Mannequins are supposed to represent Ena from other versions of reality, wouldn't you expect lifeless Mannequins to be found at, say, the bottom of the rivers and pits, rather than hanging off the edges? Though, since the Mannequin "inside" Ena seems to be able to "emerge" from her body, perhaps that could be the explanation for this conundrum.

With all this said, there seems to be a natural conclusion to this theory. Under the assumption that the Enas we see suspended in the holy code in Temptation Stairway are Enas that "failed" in their task, like the rest of them (like the rest of them) like the rest of them... What does that actually mean for Ena at the end of Dream BBQ?

I'm sure everyone has noticed the shot we see at the end of the game is nearly the exact same as the one in Temptation Stairway. There's other Mannequins as well, also suspended in the holy code. The conclusion of this theory seems therefore to suggest that the Ena we see at the end of Dream BBQ never actually made it out of Uncanny Streets at all. She got stuck behind the Lonely Door. Failed, like the rest of them, alongside the other Mannequins we see floating in that space.

It's a sensible assumption that the hand that reaches out and grabs this Ena-Mannequin is "taking" her and "placing" her back in the body of the Mannequin in the hub. But what if even that isn't true? What if the Ena "emerging" out of the Mannequin in the Hub isn't her "respawning", but rather, she is an entirely different instance of Ena that never left the Hub in the first place? Whatever happened to the Ena in the Lonely Door still happened, but not to this Ena.

Which seems to prompt a question that no other theory would need to ask. Where is that hand taking this other Ena?

[bunni-v1]

May I ask your advice on something? I want to make a cookie that will be loved by shadow milk and I toss and turn the idea in my head thinking about his loneliness, but his arrogance in assuming most cookies aren’t worthy of his time makes it difficult. It leads me to building the cookie to be bigger and more powerful/elaborate than him so he immediately recognizes it, but that’s unsatisfying for me. I’d like them to be ordinary, clever of course, observant, and quick witted to not only keep up with shadow milk, but to even outpace him at times in a verbal sparring match. But most ordinary cookies don’t really fit the bill. They usually either worship or fear him depending on personality and self awareness. Both are good and what he needs/uses, but you can’t really be friends with a tool. Makes it hard to think of an ordinary cookie that might have caught his attention. I liked your analysis of what getting close to him pre corruption was and he’s a more viable candidate, but even he on some level looks down upon ordinary cookies that know less and don’t live as long. Namuwiki and regular wiki categorize his corruption as both an obsession with his own power as well as loneliness in a truth that broke him. I think the truth that did so or that at least planted the seed of corruption was: that cookies/people don’t care about the truth. He states as much so many times to pure vanilla to weaken his resolve, his dedication to truth. How cookies willingly/happily turn from the bitter truth to embrace a sweet lie. How cookies were more interested in listening to him speak than what he was really saying. It’s a one two punch realizing the cookies around you don’t really care about the thing that makes you you. And if they do it may only be for selfish gain, not for knowledge in itself. And the real rub is the reason they don’t care is often times due to some form of ignorance or stupidity. I mentioned this to a friend irl and she said,”oh he got bullied before he got corrupted. 💯” Which made me think of the cookies before his fall, who maybe took for granted that 1. The font of knowledge even exists and 2.That he would willingly and happily answer their questions truthfully forever and 3. Would never lose his patience. Because how much do you want to bet that the illusion from the sugar free road he taunted pure vanilla with, the woman yelling at him saying “tell us where to seek healing! Tell us how to be healthy to live in wealth and happiness! Use your power! Share your power with us! Do it if you truly care!” Were words from a cookie in shadow milks past? How many refused to seek the truth themselves, wishing no demanding he provide it for them. And criticizing him if/when he either refuses or lies, like bratty children. “Nothing but empty promises. All a lie.” Give them! Cookies who were so ignorant and stupid wanting to take away the thing that makes him him. Because that’s all he is isn’t he? His power his soul jam. Neither he nor anyone else it seems has seen him beyond his abilities. To who he is as a cookie.

Which is just another layer to his isolation, but all of which to say. Maybe the ordinary cookie who just happens to be curious, innovative, and above all patient and kind is his only balm against such words. And maybe that cookie crumbles under the weight of their deceit. Maybe that helps crumble his resolve. After all the main thing hes running from, the big lie he tells himself is that nothing bad ever happens to him. Because how could it? He’s a god, he’s all knowing, but not all powerful. Thoughts?

I think Shadow Milk's fall is the most interesting, because it could quite honestly be either he fell first or last. I'm a bigger fan of the him falling last theory, because it's very interesting to see how he would react to his friends becoming beasts and realizing he too will shortly.

With the new costume's story we can get a better look into him, and he's a lot like PV. Patient, kind, gentle, intelligent, and more than willing to share his knowledge with cookies. With such knowledge, he is very separate from other cookies. He knows and understands things that other cookies could never dream of.

That much knowledge will weigh on your being, even if you are a god. Especially if it's all you're supposed to be, a fount of knowledge for cookies. I think he does enjoy sharing his knowledge and the truths of the world. He cares for his cookies. How could he not? they are innocent and freshly baked, full of fear and confusion. His knowledge is meant to soothe them.

But, cookies fear what they do not understand. When they start asking harder questions, and he gives them the truthful answer, they don't like it. They lash out and deny the truth, and he realizes they would rather live in a lie than bear the truth. The fact that, even if it's unintentional, the very cookies he loves and cherishes are rejecting him... well, it would devastate anyone.

Shadow Milk Cookie became a beast because he was rejected by his people. He became the embodiment of lies to become what they wanted, rejecting the truth to show them the error of their ways. This is what they wanted, right?

I think that's why he needs a partner who challenges him. They can't just accept everything he does as okay. He doesn't want or need someone who just sits there and affirms him like his minions. His partner needs a backbone and a strong moral compass, the confidence to look at him and say, "Absolutely not."

They also need to have the awareness that he is the master of lies. They need to be able to see through his lies and illusions by themselves because he can't hold their hand all the time. He has this deep aching need to be seen, though he doesn't acknowledge those feelings. They have to be able to crack his shell by themselves and show that they care, and only then will he open up to them.

It's certainly not an easy feat for a normal cookie, but if Ginger Brave and co. can do it, I'm sure his partner can also do it. It takes a special cookie to get the master of deceit tripping over himself, after all.

[bantersnatch]

THE BIANCA MASTERPOST

Why, hello! Are you interested in throwing yourself down the rabbit hole of lore for Dropout's "Very Important People"? Are you trying to drag a friend into the madness? Welcome! Hopefully this post can help. This all goes a lot deeper than you might expect after a casual viewing of the show, so let's get down to business.

In the past, the Host's stepdaughter, Bianca Jocasta, was something of a cryptid lurking at the edges of the show's lore. As of season 2, however, she has a face, speaking lines, and an implied crucial role in the meta plot. Us rabid Bianca fans -- and there are indeed a non-zero number of us -- simply never lose. Unless we get a week where Bianca doesn't show up. Which happens often.

PART 1: UNDERSTANDING the CANON.

Let's say you've watched the entirety of VIP. You have questions. Maybe you even have theories of your own. Welcome to the club, friend. Bianca generally pops up in only brief mentions -- amidst the chaos of the show it's sometimes hard to piece together exactly what's going on with her. Luckily, I've written it down for us!

Analyzing everything we know about Bianca (as of s2e3) for a review of the basics, plus some surface-level theorizing.

Analyzing the Host's relationship with Bianca (as of s2e3) for a more character-centered approach to figuring out what's going on here.

Revisiting the s2e4 loredrop.

Unpacking the s2e6 loredrop.

And of course, the sacred texts: this gifset by the talented @/avadaniels capturing their first on-screen interaction.

Dissecting the s2e11 loredrop.

PART 2: INTO the METAVERSE.

So there's something funky going on here. That's to be expected, because this show is an improvised fever dream and the Host is a certified freak. But is this actually leading up to something...? Signs point to yes.

Asked to describe the relationship between the Host and Bianca in one word, Vic chose "tethered". A normal word to describe coworkers who purportedly hate each other.

Asked for any further information about the two of them, Vic responded... like this.

Okay. Here's where we jump off the deep end. Hold my hand. Vic likes to reuse material, and the "stepdaughter the same age as her stepparent" is an idea that's been around in their work for a while now. Take a look here and here for more on that. Do you see the vision?

It seems like Vic and Talia are very down to go down interesting paths with their improv together, and they're certainly able to conjure up chemistry. Case in point.

PART 3: EXPLORATION via FANWORKS.

That's it. That's the canon, that's the relevant supplemental material from Vic. But this is tumblr, and we all know that's just the beginning of the fun.

The wonderful @/owleanders draws Bianca so beautifully and I think about his art of her non-stop. Go look at his stuff!

I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention Star Maker, my fic that attempts to blend our knowledge of the Host's lore with the "Bride Comforting Stepdaughter" sketch. It is my version of a long-form thesis for why this dynamic has the potential to be so compelling.

We use the tag #bianca vip for her here on tumblr. (edit: now that we have a last name for the character, #bianca jocasta is also in use! it's a mishmash but we'll muddle through somehow. i personally will prefer to use her full name now that we have it, but i'll be using both for a while as i adjust.)

The AO3 tag for our Bianca is wonderfully vibrant for a character with so minimal screen time, and well worth checking out if you want more!

[chimerical-daydreams]

Will Loop ever tell or will there be a Plot that makes the King know who he could have been? Makes everyone else know his alternate history? Where is Loop from? In the end, I don't think they'll ever volunteer

Elaborating on my answers to a similar question, Loop is absolutely not telling anyone by their own will.

they are halfway decent at keeping their mask up while sif is around, but. uh. its starts to wear down after a while. they slip up and mention things they shouldn't, start acting kind of weird all of a sudden, and then Something happens (i havent decided what exactly what, but I have a list of options), and they just Fully Lose Their Shit. act 6 secret bossfight style. the truth abou loop comes out in a explosive manner, and they're fully ready to just Exile Themselves Forever or to just. Die. but as always, their family welcomes them back with open arms and a new understanding of them as a person.

But, as time goes by, and they find more of their family, it gets harder and harder to hide that they Know something that everyone else does not. By the time they cave and get Siffrin into the group, everyone is at least aware that Something is up, but no one is sure what, as Loop always finds a way to deflect if they ask about their past.

(Nille's theory is that their transformation into a star was physically destructive, and that it killed their family that was in the vicinity, and they haven't forgiven themselves for it. Odile's is that they have some kind of foresight or other impossible source of knowledge, and that they're calloused from knowing the death of those around them).

Much closer at the end of their travel, while the party is taking a stop in a small town, King goes off by himself, and Loop follows behind. They find him at the foot of the tallest tree, carefully sorting through the leaves. When he perks up, one shiny leaf in hand, Loop understands what he's doing. This is a Favor Tree. He's going to make a wish. They cannot, under any circumstances, let that happen.

Loop snap forward, grabbing the King by his forearm, and asking him what he thinks he's doing. A bit shaken by their sudden appearance, he explains that he wanted to make a wish, that their journey is coming to an end, and he wanted everything to go right on this last stretch of the way. They won't allow it, they can't. He asks why? What's wrong with what he's doing, and they just wish he'd just understand why-

King slumps forward, unconscious. Loop catches him. Oh no, that wasn't what they wanted, that's not what they meant, why did they have to phrase it like that, please oh no no no-

Meanwhile, the King is having a Very Bad Time, his mind sent to go meet the other version of himself. He, of course, gets frozen in time, forced to watch as a band of very familiar faces go against the monster that wears his face. They all fall before him in one fell swoop and all he can do is watch in horror as Vaugarde succumbs to static, only broken by the sound of sobbing from his other self.

Loop is pacing back and forth under the Favor Tree when the King wakes up, hyperventilating and clearly scared. They sit next to him, and after he calms down enough to talk, explains what he saw. Loop winces at the recollection. When he finishes, after a moment of silence, they ask if now he understands why they don't trust him around wishes. He says yes. They linger under the tree, embracing the quiet for now.

[redocity]

Can you do one based on work song by hozier.

Like the episode after he is struck by lightning, and he would do anything to get back to her (the reader) 😭

COMATOSE - E.BUCKLEY

after he’d been hit by lighting, buck had been rendered comatose, and he’s just as eager to wake up and see you again as you are for him to be okay.

WARNINGS: massive spoilers for 06X11, happy ending, established relationship

evan buckley x fem!reader II angst Il 4.6k Il requests open!

a/n: eddie doesn’t deserve to be separated from christopher in any universe so i wrote them back in-

₊ ⊹ masterlist!!

First it was Daniel.

Then he found out Maddie was still with Doug and hadn’t even met Chimney.

Then it was finding out that Bobby had died.

You were his last shot.

God how he wanted to see you right now. He felt like his whole world had been flipped upside-down, and it had in a way. He was sure of his theory, that this was some alternate reality induced by the lightning strike. That he had to be in a coma. That was the only reasonable explanation for all of this.

The first course of action was to ask Chimney and Hen about you. He had no direct impact in you joining the 118, so you had to still be there right? Your job was your life, and even in a place like this that shouldn’t have changed. You were independently driven, and he just hoped that meant that you weren’t different.

“Oh right,” Hen snapped her fingers at Buck’s description of you. “She went into early retirement to look after the kids,”

“Sad to see her go honestly, she was great,” Chimney nodded along to Hen’s assessment, crossing his arms. “I miss her cooking sometimes,”

“You say that like she’s dead,” Hen rolled her eyes, hitting Chimney’s bicep with the back of her hand. “We see her all the time,”

“Yeah but that’s not the same as coming off a call and having the mastery that is her lasagna waiting in the oven for me to devour the minute we sit down,” Chimney sighs at the thought, his shoulders dropping as he imagines it. “Now we get it maybe once a month if we’re lucky,”

“Wait stop-” Buck holds his hand up to stop the two’s conversation, pushing himself from the dining chair he was sat in at Chimney’s table to stand with a furrowed expression. “Kids?”

You weren’t just not in the 118, you had kids here? Kids plural. Not even just one.

“Yeah,” Hen gives him a short nod with a raised eyebrow, like Buck’s confusion was the weird thing and not you having multiple kids with somebody who wasn’t him. “Chistopher and Nicolas,”

“Well, if we’re being semantic here, Christopher isn’t technically her kid,” Chimney gestures outward with his hands as he corrects Hen’s explanation.

“Oh please she may as well be,” Hen rolls her eyes with a scoff. “He calls her mom doesn’t he?”

“Still, biologically-”

”Guys.” Buck stops the two again, holding up both of his hands this time. “Christopher like Eddie’s Christopher?” There was absolutely no way.

“Yeah,” Chimney nods enthusiastically like Buck had just suggested a good answer for a general knowledge quiz. “They’re not married wherever you come from?”

“They’re married?” Buck swears he’s going to die all over again.

“I’ll take that as a no-”

Buck sat back down on the pulled out chair with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.

You got married and had a child with his best friend?

This definitely wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Not where you were supposed to be.

You were supposed to be his, he was supposed to be yours. God you’d been through so much together, you’d pledged yourselves to each other. He had a ring waiting for you in his apartment.

You weren’t supposed to be married to anyone else. It was just wrong.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Hey,” There’s a gentle hand placed on your shoulder, and you reluctantly tear your eyes away from where Buck is lying towards the origin of the voice.

“You should take a break, you need to eat something and stretch your legs,” Eddie squeezes your shoulder gently as he stands behind you, looking over the top of your head towards the ECMO machine keeping Buck’s breathing regulated. “It’s not good for you to sit here for so long,”

”You know I can’t leave him Eddie,” You sigh softly, dragging your hands over your face to try and rub the fatigue away from your features.

“Please,” He shakes your shoulders gently under his grasp. “You know he wouldn’t want to see you like this, you need to take care of yourself too,”

“I know that…”

“But you’re not going to leave anyway?”

”I just-” You exhale heavily, stretching your back from being hunched over to rest it against the back of the plastic chair you’re sitting in. “What if something happens while I’m not here?”

“Hey,” He tugs on the chair until you’re half-facing him. “If anything happens, I will call you. I promise. Please take a few hours to look after yourself, i’ll watch over him for now,”

You glance back towards Buck’s unmoving body, with a stuttered breath, slowly standing yourself up from your chair with Eddie’s hand behind your back to make sure you don’t stumble with how long you’d been sat there.

“He’ll be okay,” You look up at Eddie with glassy eyes as he tries to reassure you. “He’s a stubborn bastard, he’s not going anywhere,”

“I hope you’re right,”

“When have I ever been wrong?” He tilts his head slightly with a small smile, a lace of joking in his tone in his effort to lighten your mood a little.

It works to an extent, a small breathy laugh leaving your mouth, joined by a small shake of your head as you pull him into a short hug.

“Go and get some food, and then some rest alright?” He pulls away from the hug after a few seconds with his hands braced on your shoulders.

“Yes sir,”

Eddie laughs shortly at your sarcasm, watching you leave the room with a reassuring smile before he takes your place in the chair to watch over Buck until your inevitable return.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“So what are we doing here exactly?” Chimney calls out to Buck as he power walks into the waiting room of the hospital, just barely able to match pace with Hen as the two follow after him.

“I’m not sure,” Buck stops abruptly once he’s inside, looking around. “I think maybe I’m supposed to come back to where it all started,”

“I guess that makes sense in the rules of this- Alternate universe,” Chimney gestures with his hands, following Buck’s turning head in gazing around the sterile white environment.

“I-I have this weird feeling, like I’m running out of time-” Buck turns to face the two with a furrowed expression and a hand pressed against his chest.

“Ooh, a ticking clock,” Chimney snaps his fingers in amusement, turning his head towards Hen who gives him a dissatisfied look. “Plot twist,”

Hen shakes her head with a roll of her eyes at Chimney, turning her attention back towards Buck. “You were having trouble breathing before right?”

“Yeah?”

“What if that wasn’t a panic attack?” She shakes her head again, but this time not in disapproval, instead in concern. “You guys are talking about this place as an alternate reality, but it’s not,” She gestures between Buck and the two of them.

“If you’re in a coma then this is all in your head, meaning that this place is still connected to that body.” She continues her theory with fervour, and Buck is increasingly grateful that at least she hasn’t changed at all. “If it can’t breathe, you can’t breathe,”

“So he feels like he’s running out of time-” Chimney’s cut off halfway through his sentence.

“Because my body is…”

Buck drags his hand down his face at the revelation. He was really at risk of dying here if he didn’t figure out how to get back quickly enough. He wanted to get back. He needed to get back. Desperately.

“Oh hey!”

Buck would recognise that voice anywhere. And it was both the most and least thing he wanted to hear right now.

“Chim, Hen, I didn’t know you guys knew Mr. Buckley,” Buck turns almost begrudgingly in the direction of your voice, a flicker of hope in his eyes as he meets your face. A flicker that immediately disappears as his eyes turn to the child in your arms.

He can’t be any older than five, and he looks just like you, except for his nose and his eyes. They matched Eddie’s features perfectly. And it felt like they were ripping his heart in two.

“Yeah uh…” The two look between each other as they question whether to divulge Buck’s predicament to you. “New acquaintances,”

“Mister Buck!” The child in your arms waves enthusiastically in Buck’s direction, a perfect mimicry of your smile on his features. He figures this must be Nicolas.

Mister Buck. That’s right, he was a teacher in this weird purgatory. He taught your’s and Eddie’s child. Like his life couldn’t get any worse.

“Hey little man,” His greeting was more than a little stunted, his attempt at masking his features clearly failing under the way concern blooms across your face. He always hated when you looked at him like that.

“Are you alright? I know you just got out of the hospital recently and you’re looking a little pale, maybe you should sit down,” You place Nicolas on the floor to guide Buck over to one of the chairs to sit down, and your touch against his arm feels both familiar and foreign at the same time.

“I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” He waves you off gently with a raise of his hand before bracing his arms on his knees.

“What are you doing here, everything okay?” Hen mirrors your concern towards Buck back onto you.

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” You give her a short nod as you straighten up from where you were bending to held Buck sit down, taking Nicholas’ hand in yours as he tugs on the hem of your shirt. “Just a routine check for Christopher, Eddie’s in with him at the moment,”

“Okay good, can’t have our favourite squad in duress,” Hen nods, happy with your response as she ruffles Nicolas’ hair, earning a chuckle from the boy and only sending Buck deeper into his pit of misery.

He was angry at a child, how pathetic was that.

“Speak of the devil,” Chimney nods his head down one of the hallways, and the group of you all turn your heads in the same direction.

“Daddy!” Nicholas is off immediately, running in the direction of Eddie and Christopher the second he sees them round the corner, and Eddie scoops the boy into his arms with no effort whatsoever.

He always was suited to be a dad. And that arguably made it worse for Buck to watch.

“Everything’s good?” You walk over to the three boys with your head tilted, gaze flickering between Eddie and Christopher at his side.

“All good Mi Amor, he’s perfectly fine,” Eddie presses a kiss to your temple, his free arm sliding around your waist to hold you securely against his side.

And that’s when Buck decides that he’s had enough.

He physically cannot stand to watch you with Eddie like that.

He has to get out of there.

And so he does, standing up abruptly and practically running down one of the corridors, leaving all of you to watch on after him in a mix of shock and confusion.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When you return to Buck’s hospital room, Eddie has been replaced by Bobby. You can’t really be mad at that, Eddie has Christopher to worry about, and you know that he’s probably having just as hard of a time with Buck’s situation as you are. You can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it is for Eddie to explain the situation to him. How Buck might not wake up.

You didn’t want to think about that right now.

“Hey…” Bobby turns his head up from his rosary beads as you practically whisper out your greeting, pulling a chair over so that you can sit next to him at the foot of Buck’s hospital bed.

He looks just as wrecked as you do.

“Hey,” His hands fall into his lap, thumbs still rolling over the wooden beads as he looks over your state. “How are you holding up?”

“Not great…” You start tearing up almost immediately, hands cupping your nose and your mouth and you lean forward with your elbows on your knees.

Empathy floods Bobby’s expression as he reaches over to rub a hand up and down your back with a soft sigh, watching as silent tears roll over the back of your hands to leave dark dapple marks on your jeans.

“I’m so scared…”

“I know kid,” Bobby pulls you securely against his side with his hand rubbing lines over your arm in a futile attempt to console you, his eyes locked on Buck’s unconscious features. “I’m scared too,”

“What if he never wakes up?” You lean your head against Bobby’s shoulder with a stuttered exhale.

“He’s strong, I have faith in him,”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh hey kid, fancy meeting you here,” Bobby peeks out from behind a stacked shelf of medical supplies, his tone much lighter and less serious than Buck is used to when working with him.

“Thought you were dead,”Taking a moment to catch him breath, Buck steps further into the room slowly, his tone almost accusatory as his eyes narrow, beginning to tire of running around this fictional copy of his own life. “What are you doing here?”

“You tell me, it’s your dream, I’m just living in it,” Bobby shrugs nonchalantly, rifling through some of the bottles one one of the shelves. “Living my best afterlife,”

“Uh-huh, so I am dead,”

“Close but not quite,” Bobby suddenly changes position to come from behind Buck where he was previously stood in front of him. Because apparently that’s something he can do in this version of the world.

“Hey what do you think these do?” Bobby rattles a white tube container with a hum, tipping an unnumbered amount of pills into his mouth.

“This place is way too messed up to be heaven but uh, I don’t really believe in hell,” Buck exhales with furrowed eyebrows as he tries to comprehend everything. He feels like from the moment he woke up in this place he’s been in a constant haze of confusion, and no matter how much he tries to make sense of it, he can never fully grasp what’s happening.

“I- I’m in purgatory,” He exhales sharply as he accepts his own conclusion, laughing at himself ina derogatory fashion at his apparent stupidness. “I never really understood the concept of this, is th- is this a waiting room? Do I just have to hang here until my number is called or is it like, a-a punishment, a time out— do I have to do some type of penance before I’m allowed to move on?”

“Listen kid,” Bobby pulls an orange-brown translucent bottle from his pocket. “You need to relax,” He takes a large swig from the bottle, almost animatedly. “None of this is real,”

Buck’s features visibly soften at Bobby’s word, and he lets out a short laugh. “Ah, that’s the good news,”

Bobby turns towards a large white cabinet behind him, pulling the two doors open with both hands to reveal a large medicine cabinet. “The bad news is that it can be real enough to keep you here if you let it.”

“Uh, wh-what do you mean?”

Bobby pushes the clear bottles of pills on the middle shelf to the side to reveal a large glass window behind them, gesturing towards it with his head. “Hey look, you’re alive,”

Buck furrows his eyebrows as he cautiously approaches the window, features only furrowing further as they lock onto the image of the two of you in the darkened hospital room.

“And there’s me. Ooh I busted out the rosary beads, must be serious,” The image of Bobby shows him bent forward in his chair with his hands on his knees and his rosary in his hands, muttering soft prayers under his breath as he holds the beads up to his mouth.

“And a pretty lady, your girlfriend? She doesn’t look so good,” That was an understatement. From what Buck could see of the side of your face it looked like you were crying, the tear stains on your cheeks illuminated under the florescent lighting and making his heart wrench at the sight, wanting nothing more to pull you into his arms and kiss all of those tears away.

Then he noticed himself, lying perfectly still on a hospital bed hooked up to so many different machines he wasn’t even sure if he could name them all. “How- am I there and here?”

“Well, Evan Buckley, this is your deep dark subconscious,” Bobby leans over slightly towards Buck, tone slightly ominous.

Then the sound of a door turns both of them back towards the window as they watch Athena walk into the room and place careful hands on both yours and Bobby’s shoulders. “Oh hey, can we back up for a second? Are you telling me that’s my wife?” He exhales through his nose with a nod of satisfaction. “I mean, some things did work out for me didn’t they?”

“Do you know what’s happening to me in there?” Buck’s eyes lock on to what he can see of himself through furrowed eyebrows.

“Depends on how you look at it,” Bobby’s eyes follow his own, and he shrugs nonchalantly. “You could be dying, you could be fighting for your life. It’s kind of up to you,”

Bobby leans over towards Buck once again as he continues to stare at himself. “Which way you leaning?”

“I- don’t know,” Buck blinks softly, seemingly going over the pros and cons in his head. “This felt pretty great at first but… Then the Doug thing happened, then you, and then…” His eyes flicker towards where your sat once more, a soft sigh leaving his mouth.

“Well, I don’t think you can bring me back from the dead even in here, but…” Bobby crosses his arms loosely over his chest. “I think you can fix the Doug thing, maybe even the Eddie thing,”

“Wo- Would that actually work?”

“I don’t know, I’m not exactly bound by the laws of physics and logic here,” Bobby shrugs again and leans forward slightly. “I know what you know,”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Athena walks over to Buck’s hospital bed with a sigh, gently laying her hand on Buck’s wrist to rub small circles against his skin. “I don’t know if you can hear me Evan Buckley, but I do know that you never give up. So don’t start now.” She shakes her head with an exasperated exhale, her tone still authoritative despite her obvious emotion towards the situation.

“Bobby has lost… two children. He cannot survive losing you.” She sighs softly, squeezing his wrist just a little. “And your girlfriend, oh the poor girl… She’s distraught over you. You can’t propose to her if you’re like this. So wake up damn it.” She raises her voice ever so slightly at the end of her sentence out of frustration. Mostly at herself, that she cant do anything to help get him out of the situation he’s in.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Wake up.”

“Yeah I’m trying.” Buck gestures exasperatedly with his hands as he walks back towards the hospital waiting room with Bobby following after him. “Just need to figure out what to fix to get back.”

“Maybe you should just give up.” Buck glances over his shoulder at Bobby’s ‘suggestion’, his harsh words contrasting his jovial tone. “Did you know that you were clinically dead for three minutes? Things aren’t looking good for you,”

“How come you’re such a jerk in this reality?” Buck’s tone shift to border frustration as he continues to walk with Bobby following after him.

“Because I am loosing patience.” Buck turns around with a furrowed expression, and the two stop in the middle of the corridor, locked in a stalemate.

“When are you gonna learn?” Bobby crosses his arms over his chest. “Brother’s die, children and their wives die, sisters get beat up by their husbands, girlfriends move on and find someone better, you can’t fix everything.”

“Well I fixed you.” Buck borders on shouting in anger at Bobby’s words.

“Oh really? How?” Bobby stares at him blankly as he anticipates an answer.

Buck takes a few seconds to respond, his eyes narrowing once he’s found his answer. “’Cause I joined the 118… And I mad you mad. And I made you cry. And I made you laugh sometimes, you know?” He exhales sharply, gesturing between himself and Bobby.

“I drove you crazy, but I think you spent so much time trying to make sure that I didn’t get myself killed, that it made you remember what it is to live.”

“So basically,” Bobby meets Buck’s gaze with his own. “You were Buck,”

“Yeah,” Buck seems to relax a little once he’d got everything off his chest, features softening. “I was Buck,”

“And that’s enough?”

Buck turns his gaze down to the ground as he takes a few seconds to think about it, a small breath of a laugh leaving his mouth as he makes his decision. “I think it is,”

“Looks like someone just figured out the answers for himself,”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A small group of you stand in Buck’s hospital room as they prepare to disconnect Buck from the ventilator. The priority visitors. His parents stood side by side, wrapped up in each other for mutual comfort, Maddie was hugging herself as an act of self-comfort, and Bobby was stood with his hand on your shoulder trying to comfort you.

The nurse carefully removes the ECMO covering Buck’s mouth and steps back towards the foot of his hospital bed. “And now we wait, see if he takes a spontaneous breath on his own,”

There’s about thirty seconds of silence before the regular beeping of Buck’s heart monitor changes to a jarring sharp sound, and Maddie turns towards the nurse with an anxious expression. “What’s wrong?”

“His oxygen is dropping,” The nurse’s tone is not at all reassuring. “If he doesn’t take a breath in the next few seconds we’re gonna have to reconnect him to the ventilator,”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Right uh, this, this is all happening inside my head, which means I’ve been talking to myself this whole time,” Buck takes a sharp breath in as he looks over the perfect mirror of himself in front of him, who gives him a hum with a condescending expression.

“Upside— uh, I don’t have to feel bad about not listening to you anymore-” He shakes his head towards his mirror image before turning to ignore him, swiping all of the bottles off of the shelves to further reveal the glass window, beginning to pull the shelves off of their supports.

“What are you doing?” His mirror laughs sarcastically as he watches.

“I have to get back, I’m running out of time!”

“It’s impossible. There’s no way in there. You’re stuck with me.”

“It’s not impossible!” Buck shouts to be heard over this negative side of himself. “There is not a locked room anywhere that, with the right tools and enough time, you can’t break into.”

He takes a deep breath to regulate his volume, staring at himself with a determined expression. “ I know that.” He lets out a short laugh as he gains a sudden weight in his hand, a bright red fire axe, one that he’d used so many times in the past. “’Cause I’m a firefighter.”

“There’s nothing for you in that room. No one in there needs you.”

“I’m not going back for them. I’m going back for me.” Buck gives the mirror of himself a final look of disgust before turning to swing the axe as hard as he can into the glass, a loud shattering sound verberating through his ears.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You all watching in a terrible anxious anticipation as the jarring beeps continue to blare with no indication of change, your eyes locked on Buck’s face as you all desperately will for him to take a breath without any assistance.

And then he does, and the whole room immediately falls into tears. His parents cling to each other with loud sobs, Maddie’s shoulders tremble as she cups a hand over her mouth, and your knees almost give out underneath you if not for the added support of Bobby keeping you upright.

To say you were all relieved was a universally large understatement.

You were sure you’d never felt happier in your life to know the love of your life was okay. And god forbid you ever let him leave your side again.

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, can I request Bruce x ex-villain reader, where Bruce needs some information/help so he goes to find the reader (who let Bruce find him) to negotiate. The reader isn't really that keen to go back to the whole action scene because he lives a real comfortablelife at some island or soemthing, but Bruce makes an offer the reader can't really say no to

Of course anon. Why do I feel like this would be me? Hm... Also, sorry this took so long.

Summary: Bruce offers something that (Y/N) can't offer for intel.

Warnings: nothing bad... Maybe some cursing.

Intel was something precious. Something that can be life and death in the vigilante world, especially if you are after terrorists or a bigger threat in the world to keep it safe. Of course, intel doesn't come without a price. Those who know things use that knowledge as a bartering chip in order to get what they want.

Bruce knew that all too well.

As of now, he needed intel. There was only a single problem in this case. (Y/N) (L/N). He is a former villain that has decided to retire to somewhere in the world. Where is that somewhere? Bruce didn't know. (Y/N) and Bruce had a respect-hate relationship. While the two really hated each other, but had a way to respect one another.

After their last fight, (Y/N) had dropped a bomb that he was retiring, saying that he was bored of being a villain. Bruce nearly had a heart attack when he heard that and was curious as to why. Why a sudden change of heart?

Either way, after that night, (Y/N) was gone. Bruce a little bit sad. It was very fun fighting with (Y/N), playing mind games, trying to rattle one another. And one think that Bruce loved about (Y/N) was the fact that he didn't go after his sons. In fact, he saved them a few times.

However, (Y/N) was still in loop when it came to intel. Bruce had a few theories as to why, but Bruce thought it was to stay safe and move if necessary. And more importantly, he was impossible to find. Bruce has tried, but couldn't fine him for the life of him.

It was frustrating and yet, impressive at the same time. Nobody has been able to hide from him that well and it wasn't funny at this point. And Bruce would leave (Y/N) alone. Would, but he needs intel and only (Y/N) has it. So... He had to find (Y/N) and do whatever it takes to get that intel.

And after weeks of searching, he found (Y/N). It was a private island, of course. Bruce got into his plane, suit and off he went. It was a long flight, but he had nothing but time to think about all of this. How does he approach this? He has to offer (Y/N) something in return for the intel.

Money? (Y/N) has a shit ton of it if he has his own private island in the middle of nowhere, in the ocean. Like... He has a big amount of money... Not money it seems. Maybe something...

Something he could bring back...

What was he going to bring to the table? Bruce chuckled to himself as I looked at the ocean underneath him. There is something else going on between (Y/N) and Bruce. They knew each others identities and there was something more than just being enemies. Before (Y/N) retired, the two started being more civil and...

There was something that Bruce couldn't pinpoint for the life of him. There was something that made Bruce feel truly alive, adrenaline coursing through his veins... Something electric. (Y/N) was also affected by it, but the two men would rather die than show it towards one another.

Maybe... He could on that. He could use that to get intel. But that will only work it (Y/N) shares the same feelings. Oh, if only he knew. Bruce landed on an empty piece of land, where (Y/N) was waiting already, in his swim shorts and a cigar in his mouth. He watched in silence as Bruce stepped out of his plane.

" You have been difficult to find. " Bruce said as he stepped out into the warm weather, taking his cowl off.

" For the record, I allowed you to find me and you know it Bruce. So, what brings you to my humble island? " (Y/N) asked before taking a long drag of his cigar, leading the way to his manor. Bruce followed, quickly walking alongside him.

" I think you know why I need help. " Bruce said and (Y/N) chuckled quietly as he let out the smoke of his cigar.

" You are right, I do know why. However, " (Y/N) said as he opened the door to his mansion. Bruce saw how there was so much natural light and thought how nice it is to have so much sunlight. You can be lucky if there is sun in Gotham city.

" So Bruce... What can you give me in exchange for the intel you need? " (Y/N) asked as he finished his cigar, moving to pour himself some whiskey.

" Something that I think you can't resist. " Bruce said coolly and smirked as (Y/N) raised his brow."

" And what would that be? "

" I know you didn't want to retire. I know you are itching to get out of it. And I know you are tired of being a villain. Maybe you can be a hero for a change... Maybe we can finally act on our feelings we tried to bury. "

Bruce watched (Y/N) intently. His breath hitched for a moment and he looked away for a moment.

" How in God's name did you know? "

" Maybe because I'm the world's greatest detective. " Bruce replied and (Y/N) huffed.

" Don't flatter yourself. " (Y/N) said with faux annoyance and Bruce stopped smirking.

" Is that the reason why you retired? To bury those feelings? " Bruce asked and (Y/N) rolled his eyes.

" No... I was actually tired of being a bad guy. It's not as fun anymore."

Bruce chuckled at that. Of course.

" Really? "

" Yup. You blow up a few buildings here and there, mess with you... But it's not fun anymore. " (Y/N) shrugged his shoulders.

" Maybe we can work together. " Bruce suggested, leaning on the counter.

" Is that a way of getting into my pants? " (Y/N) asked and Bruce shook his head with a chuckle.

" No it's not. "

" You sure? You are a playboy after all. " (Y/N) said as he sipped his whiskey slowly.

" Not anymore. Haven't been in the game for a while. " Bruce shrugged his shoulders and (Y/N) chuckled quietly.

" If I chose to accept it, does it mean I would have to work with the Justice League? "

" Not if you don't want to. " Bruce answered softly and (Y/N) relaxed a little bit. He put the glass down, the sound resonating in the now quiet kitchen.

" Well, that is something I can't refuse... You really caught me off guard. " (Y/N) said laughing, leaning on the counter of his kitchen.

" Does this mean I get my intel too? " Bruce chuckled and (Y/N) nodded.

" I guess so. "

" So when can I expect you in Gotham? " Bruce asked softly and (Y/N) tilted his head in thought.

" Next week. I need to make a few arrangements and then I'll come. "

Bruce nodded and watched (Y/N) with a small smile. " Can I kiss you?" Bruce asked him and (Y/N) nodded, moving closer to Bruce.

Bruce gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before pulling back with a smile. " See you in a week (Y/N). "

(Y/N) chuckled, pouring himself more whiskey. " See you in a week. "

[jack-thinks]

i find it a little inane that people think Bison isnt actually a dom because of the swing kiss scene (which i love) and many other soft scenes where he surrenders himself to Kant and lets him lead. the theory that he desperately needs control in life which is why he tries to be a dom in bed is appealing but that is not the only reason.

Bison likes taking control in bed - this is something we are shown from KantBison's first encounter in the red room scene. however, outside of the bedroom, we also see Bison enjoying being hugged, groped and held and being coddled. he likes being cutesy and has no issued with Kant taking the lead. in fact, he likes it when Kant chases him.

the idea that Bison cant be a dom when he lets his partner soft dom him prolly comes from limited knowledge of how dominant/submissive relationships actually work outside of the media's portrayal of them. but this idea is faulty in and of itself because in reality, things are not always so strictly black and white.

it is statistically proven that most people who enjoy bdsm fall in the spectrum of both sadism and masochism. it isnt just one or the other. so someone who enjoys receiving pain is just as likely to enjoy inflicting it. someone who enjoys taking control might just as well be into giving up that control. between established dom/sub partners, there might be a dom and a sub as a general rule, but their role also changes from scene to scene. bdsm is about enjoying yourself by testing the limits of your pleasure and exploring them. you dont have to necessarily confine yourself to one role forever.

coming back to the why of him enjoying dominance in bedroom, of course it is a way of gaining some control in his life. but also, the individual acts are enjoyable to him. we aren't just talking about manhandling here, this man likes inflicting real pain and is into things like face slapping which is not just painful but also degrading. it takes me back to KantBison's first meet where Bison put Kant in his place for being overconfident in his approach. Bison clearly gets a high out of degrading his partner in bed.

these are all things that come naturally to him. he isnt trying hard to gain control or doing it out of a fear of losing control. he gains pleasure from the acts alone. him having gone to the extent of having bondage binds strapped to his bed for easy use just indicates that this is something he is confident about and has made past the trial error phase. he knows what he wants and he has no qualms in making his wants known.

KantBison are also clearly comfortable with the dynamic that they have created so far. you could rightfully argue that Kant was pressurized into bdsm but the nipple clamp scene stands as evidence that this could actually work between those two. both Kant and Bison enjoyed that scene. Kant was willing to lose himself to the pleasure and let Bison take control in the same way as he had back in the red room. he ended up enjoying that as well.